Ring of Honor TV – October 5, 2016: What They Do Best
Ring of Honor Date: October 5, 2016
Location: MCU Park, Brooklyn, New York
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Steve Corino
It’s the first show after a pay per view and that means…..well I have no idea what that means actually as this could be anything for the most part. We could be getting a special look at someone or a special show with nothing to do with the regular shows. Or it could just be a stand alone show that focuses on some midcard storylines. My guess: New Japan. Let’s get to it.
We’re going to a special show called Field of Honor from Brooklyn back on August 27, 2016.
National Anthem.
Opening sequence.
TV Title: Bobby Fish vs. Evil
Fish is defending and gets his eyes raked to start. An early kneebar attempt sends Evil outside and Fish is right there to kick at the leg. Evil is right back up with a chair to the back before wrapping it around Fish’s throat to send it into the post. It’s not a DQ for reasons that aren’t clear and we take a break.
Back with Fish suplexing Evil into the corner because that’s a required spot these days. They trade forearms until Fish gets in a Samoan drop for a breather. A half and half suplex gets two for Evil and he takes Fish’s head off with a clothesline. Fish pops right back up with a falcon arrow into a kneebar and Evil taps at 10:40.
Rating: C+. This is the kind of match that I can always go with: simple wrestling with a random challenger coming for a title despite there being no chance of a title change (partially because this was taped six weeks ago). I’m not big on Evil but he was the perfect choice to go after the champ like this. Fun little match.
IWGP Intercontinental Title: Michael Elgin vs. Donovan Dijak
Elgin is defending and this title has never been on the line in New York before. Dijak gets powered into the corner but he punches Mike in the cut on his forehead. That goes nowhere so Elgin shoulders him down and follows with the delayed vertical suplex. Dijak avoids a charge in the corner and lifts Elgin up for some knees to the back. It’s too early to finish the champ off though and he muscles Dijak up for a suplex as we take another break.
Back with Elgin hitting Dijak in the face and getting two off a really hard clothesline. The Elgin Bomb gets two and Dijak grabs a fireman’s carry into a sitout powerbomb of his own for two more. A chokebreaker sets up Dijak’s moonsault for two. Elgin shrugs that off too and hits a quick Death Valley Driver onto the apron. A German superplex knocks Dijak silly and it’s a buckle bomb into the Elgin Bomb to retain the title at 11:45.
Rating: B-. I had a lot of fun with this as they just beat each other up for a long time. There was nothing scientific here and that’s all it was supposed to be. Elgin is a beast who can run people over and Dijak is the kind of athletic freak that you only get every now and then. Fun match here as this show has been good so far.
Bullet Club vs. ACH/Lio Rush/Motor City Machine Guns
Yujiro Takahashi/Hangman Page/Young Bucks for the Bullet Club here and ACH/Lio Rush and the Motor City Machine Guns for ACH/Lio Rush/Motor City Machine Guns. We have to wait for ACH to run around the bases before it’s time to get going. Matt and Lio start things off and it’s a thumb to the eye to give the Club the early advantage. Rush flips around and starts kicking both Bucks so we can take a break.
Back with Sabin headlocking Page and bringing Shelley in for a top rope armdrag. Nick gets hung over the top with three guys holding him in place for Rush’s top rope double stomp. Quadruple strikes have Nick in even more trouble and the rest of the Club FINALLY comes in for the save. A bunch of superkicks have Rush and ACH down so the fans gets behind the Club. Of course they do. Back in and the powerbomb into a kick to the head knocks Rush silly.
We come back from another break with Rush diving at the corner but getting suplexed over for two. Matt grabs a camel clutch so Nick can run the ropes, only to stop for a Too Sweet poke to the eyes. Rush doesn’t seem interested in sucking it so he makes the hot tag to ACH. Everything breaks down with ACH doing a bunch of dives and kicks to the head of anyone he can find.
A belly to back suplex gets two on Page and the Guns hit a Magic Killer on Matt. Rush starts firing off suicide dives and some superkicks send Page into a German suplex for two. The Guns start their rapid fire offense on the Bucks but a double superkick knocks Rush to the floor. Now we get the Bucks firing off dives but ACH hits an even bigger one to take everyone down. Back in and a double superkick into the Rite of Passage knocks Sabin out for the pin at 15:29.
Rating: B. This was exactly what it needed to be with eight guys who were there to fly all over the place and pop the crowd all over the place. The Bullet Club continues to dominate the promotion because that’s what Ring of Honor is about anymore. The Guns/Rush/ACH are fine enough for a group to lose to the Club so it’s all gravy here.
Overall Rating: B. Now this is the kind of show that I can get into. They aren’t trying anything over the top or anything stupid like the Kevin Sullivan story and just went with the wrestling, which is what you need every now and then. There’s good stuff in this promotion (meaning it doesn’t need New Japan) and it’s fun to watch them from time to time.
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Lucha Underground – October 5, 2016: Now That’s An Upgrade
Lucha Underground Date: October 5, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker
I don’t know how many other ways I can put this but Lucha Underground has been pretty boring lately. There’s been one good match with Killshot vs. Marty the Moth but the rest of the season has been spent running around in circles from one loose end to another. Maybe this is the show that starts to fix things though so let’s get to it.
We open with recaps of Dario’s Dial of Doom, Prince Puma vs. Mil Muertes and Texano vs. Cage.
Here’s Dario Cueto to spin the Dial and it’s…..Prince Puma. Now that’s an upgrade.
Ivelisse vs. Mariposa
Mariposa has Marty in her corner. Ivelisse is taken down to the mat to start and Mariposa goes after her hair. They fight over a lockup and Ivelisse takes over with a clothesline. The fans are way into Ivelisse here and it’s hard to argue as she looks awesome out there. A Marty distraction lets Mariposa take Ivelisse down by the hair and it’s off to something like a Sharpshooter but with Ivelisse using her arms instead of the legs.
After the rope is grabbed, Marty gets slapped away so it’s time for both villains to choke in the corner. Ivelisse fights out of a fireman’s carry and kicks out of a Samoan drop. Mariposa can’t get the Butterfly Effect either so it’s Code Red (running sunset flip bomb) to give Ivelisse the pin at 6:20.
Rating: C-. The women of Lucha Underground are such a strange group. Sometimes they can have the best match in weeks and other times you would think they had learned by watching old Bella Twins tapes. This felt like a collection of moves instead of a regular match and that’s rarely a good thing. As usual, it’s another match for the sake of having a match, which has plagued this season.
Marty decks Ivelisse post match.
Dario is on the phone when Johnny Mundo comes in, yet again demanding a title shot. Why did Puma get one tonight? He didn’t earn it like Mundo earned his abs so why should he get a title shot? Dario says no so Johnny will settle for Sexy Star and the Gift of the Gods Title. That’s not happening either because Johnny’s Worldwide Underground stablemate Jack Evans already has that shot. Johnny isn’t pleased.
The White Rabbit Tribe is coming. Somehow I like this idea.
Texano vs. Cage
Match #2 in a best of five series with Cage up 1-0. Texano misses a running boot to start and gets shouldered in the corner. Cage is knocked outside and sent into various metal objects but Cage comes right back with a superplex for two. A hard elbow to the jaw drops Cage again but he grabs a powerslam to set up a middle rope moonsault. Striker is very happy that we’re guaranteed another one of these though I don’t quite share that sentiment. Cage catches him coming out of the corner with a sitout Alabama Slam and an F5 wraps up Texano at 6:28.
Rating: C. Striker thinks that going up 2-0 makes Cage the favorite to win the whole thing. That’s Michael Cole levels of stating the obvious and it’s getting harder and harder to sit through. It’s also getting hard to sit through this best of five series, but at least the matches have been quick and we should be done next time. Then again, this is wrestling so we’re going to go to five matches because of course we are.
Ivelisse’s boyfriend Jeremiah (Sami Callihan) wants to beat on Marty and Mariposa for jumping her but Ivelisse says she wants to keep things separate.
Lucha Underground Title: Prince Puma vs. Matanza
Matanza is defending and has Dario in his corner. They trade hard shots to the face to start with Matanza getting the better of it, only to miss a charge and get dropkicked out to the floor. A shooting star off the apron makes things worse for the champ but he’s more than capable of hanging in a fight on the floor.
Puma is whipped hard into the barricade and it’s time for the monster to throw him around with raw power. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Matanza runs him over with a hard shoulder so Puma can sell the heck out of it. That’s so important and makes monsters look even better. Puma comes back with something like a 619 around the post to set up a springboard clothesline.
Another shooting star gets two on the champ as the fans are WAY behind Puma here. Matanza opts for another splash but Puma actually pulls him out of the air for a lifting suplex. Now THAT makes the fans lose their minds but Puma’s kick is caught in the air and turned into a capture suplex for two more. Wrath of the Gods is countered into a DDT though and Dario gets to panic all over again. More kicks to the head set up the 630 but Mil Muertes comes in with a spear to take Puma out…..but Dario says it’s No DQ. Muertes gives Puma a Flatliner and Wrath of the Gods retains the title at 12:55.
Rating: B. This was a very entertaining match but because it had two people who know how to wrestle the big match style. However, there’s only so much you can do with no story. Other than a wheel spinning, there’s no reason for Puma to get this shot. The action more than carried this one though and that’s what makes something like this work.
Killshot is lifting weights when Joey Ryan comes in with a note for him. Killshot asks who gave it to him. Ryan: “What do I look like? A detective?” The note says Killshot left someone for dead.
Overall Rating: B-. This show was better than usual but the big problem is still there: the lack of stories building up to the big matches. Almost none of these matches have any real build to the showdowns and almost everything feels like it’s thrown together in a few minutes. Lucha Underground works because they build things up over time whereas recent weeks have been little more than “here’s the story and here’s the match a week or two later”. That takes away the uniqueness from the show and that’s not a good thing.
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We’re already at the second Smackdown only pay per view and the card is already stronger than the “Backlash 2016” offering. If nothing else they already have more matches set up for this show, meaning we probably won’t have to sit through a ten minute opening segment and no team is going to have to work twice. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: Jack Swagger vs. Baron Corbin
We’ll start with this rematch from earlier in the week on “Smackdown Live” where Swagger won via submission. However, it’s not quite that simple as it sounds. In the first match, Corbin claimed to be reaching for the ropes instead of tapping out so there’s a much more logical reason for a rematch. It’s much better than having a rematch for the sake of having a rematch after one of the people wins completely clean.
I’m going with Corbin here as there’s really no reason to have Swagger win. Swagger is on “Smackdown Live” to lose matches to upcoming names, as he’s been stuck doing for years. Corbin is the kind of guy you could throw out there as a midcard title challenger at the drop of a hat so there’s no reason to have him lose to someone like Swagger in a spot like this. Odds are there will be a third match but hopefully this wraps up their mini feud.
Curt Hawkins vs. ???
This is the easiest call on the card as you don’t bring in someone for the sake of having them lose. Hawkins has had some entertaining vignettes but I don’t really see him doing much on the roster. There’s nothing wrong with filling the show with warm bodies though and a quick run for Hawkins isn’t the worst idea in the world. The opponent doesn’t really matter here because he’s going to lose to Hawkins in about five minutes.
Tag Team Titles: Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Usos
Here we have another case where there isn’t a ton of suspense. Slater and Rhyno were never meant to be a long term solution at the top of the division so we can get to the big Usos vs. American Alpha showdown for the belts. The thing to remember is that Slater has already gotten his contract and done his big story so they can switch the titles and everything will be fine.
In case it’s not clear, I’m going with the Usos to win the belts. There’s no logical reason to keep the belts on the makeshift team when Alpha is waiting in the wings after having beaten the Usos in such quick fashion in the tournament. Salter and Rhyno don’t need to team together anymore after this as Rhyno can go off to be a politician while Slater can be a loveable goofball.
Nikki Bella vs. Carmella
It’s the first of two women’s matches as we have an actual grudge match for a change. In this case, Carmella has been tormenting Bella since she returned from injury, even calling her a Kardashian wannabe, which somehow didn’t seem to offend Bella in the slightest. This has been an actually well set up feud with Bella making Carmella look way better than she has any right to.
That being said, I think I’m going to go with Bella here as she hasn’t had a big win since here comeback. I’m not sure you can call beating Carmella a big win but at least there’s been a story to set this up. Carmella has already gotten a big boost from this feud and will be fine going forward. It would make more sense to have Carmella win here but I’ll go with Bella, who just hasn’t had enough publicity lately.
Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss
We might as well cover the other women’s match here as Lynch is having her first title defense after winning the title last month. Bliss still isn’t great but the Harley Quinn look has done wonders for her and she’s gotten even better than she was at the start. Lynch is on a roll too and looks like the star of the division.
I’ll stick with the champion keeping the title here though as Bliss just isn’t ready to be the face of the division. It’s pretty clear we’re getting ready for a Lynch vs. Bella showdown over the belt and there’s just no reason to switch the belt in Lynch’s first title defense. The match should be fine and they did a good job of setting things up on Tuesday so this should be entertaining, albeit a bit predictable.
Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton
That leaves us with the big matches and we’ll start with the non-title entry. This was supposed to happen last month but Orton was still out due to injury, leaving us with an uninspired yet necessary Kane vs. Wyatt match. Orton is healthy now and that means we have an interesting match to look forward to.
As much as it pains me, I’ll go with Orton here, partially due to a lack of anyone else to go after the World Title after this show. With rumors or John Cena and Dean Ambrose taking time off, odds are AJ Styles retains the title (excuse me for jumping ahead of myself) and needs an opponent. There really isn’t anyone left other than Orton, meaning he has to win here. I’m sure Wyatt will be fine as he loses so often that he has to be used to it by now. Even with the potential debut of Sister Abigail, Wyatt loses here and that’s a shame in many ways.
Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler
It’s more than a title defense for Miz as Ziggler is putting up his career. I’m not going to waste your time with any sort of pretense here: I’m a big Miz fan and I wouldn’t mind if Ziggler got lost at sea and turned into the king of a small island where he oversold poi burgers and coconut shakes. I’d love for Miz to win here and go on to a big story away from Ziggler and his “IT JUST MEANS SO MUCH TO ME AND I NEED TO WIN ONE MORE TIME” schtick which he’s been stuck with for months now.
That being said, I think they’ll actually do it here and have Ziggler lose in a big surprise. There’s nothing left for Ziggler to do in WWE and I really wouldn’t mind to see him leave for good. Miz has been on fire in the last few months and doesn’t deserve to lose to someone as stale as Ziggler. The story has been told well but Ziggler sucks the life out of me and I have no interest in seeing him do anything at all.
World Title: AJ Styles vs. Dean Ambrose vs. John Cena
Styles is defending and we’ve already covered the result earlier on. There’s no logical reason to have Cena and/or Ambrose take the title from Styles here and if both of them are leaving for a bit, it would make even less sense. Styles has been the most consistent performer in WWE for a LONG time now and he deserves to keep the title for several months. There’s not much more to this one as the ending is pretty clear and the best case scenario all around.
Overall “No Mercy 2016” is just there, though I have some optimism for the show. I’m not wild on the idea of having another pay per view this soon but at least the card looks solid. If nothing else they have eight matches this time around and “Smackdown Live” has shown the ability to set up an entertaining show. My guess is this will be a perfectly acceptable use of three hours (Repeat: THREE HOURS. Not three hours and another fifteen minutes. Three hours AT MOST.). The wrestling will be fine and they’ll use the Smackdown style of setting up simple stories but paying them off well.
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Smackdown Date: May 9, 2002
Location: Harbor Yard Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
As horrible as Raw has been in recent weeks, Smackdown is really starting to find a groove. They’ve hit that perfect balance of wrestling, storyline and entertainment to make two hours go by very quickly. The shows aren’t great but they’re easy to sit through and you actually get some good wrestling. Let’s get to it.
Get the F Out gardening video.
Here’s Stacy Keibler looking GREAT in a black dress. After a bit of dancing, she brings out Vince to kill most of the buzz. Vince gets right to the point: HHH is a bad employee who may not have physically interfered last week, but he certainly knew what he was doing. Therefore HHH needs to get out here right now and apologize like a model employee or things are going to get bad in a hurry.
HHH comes out and immediately defies Vince’s orders to stay at least ten feet away. The gears quickly shift to HHH suggesting that Vince can’t keep her satisfied all night long, though HHH certainly could because he’s HHH and therefore all manly and such. More size jokes are made and HHH says Stacy is like Anna Nicole Smith, waiting on Vince to die so she can collect the cash. Uh, Trips, she’s just an employee sleeping with the boss. Pull it back a bit.
Vince teases fighting but here are Christian/Lance Storm/D-Von/Hardcore Holly/Test to go after HHH in shifts because wrestling villains don’t get the idea of attacking at the same time. With HHH finally taken down, Chris Jericho comes out for a few chair shots to bust him open.
The second HOGAN chant goes nowhere as Jericho puts on the Walls, with HHH actually tapping. Vince gets in HHH’s face and announces Jericho vs. HHH in the Cell. It’s a cool idea but I’m not sure this match warrants such a big feud. Especially not when there’s no doubt who wins the thing. It’s not like HHH is going to lay down for Jericho in a big match setting.
Cruiserweight Title: Tajiri vs. Hurricane
Tajiri is defending and starts fast with the kicks to the face as Cole is already on his second explanation for how badly Tajiri treats Torrie. I know he’s bad about it today but back then it was excruciating to listen to him hammer in plot points. Hurricane comes back with a DDT and neckbreaker for two but gets caught by the handspring elbow (which Cole refers to as a big spot).
Hurricane knocks him outside and Torrie’s help is shoved away. That’s fine with Hurricane who hits a running flip dive, only to get kicked down again. Torrie FINALLY has enough and gets on the announcers’ table to strip off the geisha outfit and reveal some blue lingerie. The distraction is enough to get Tajiri counted out.
Rating: C-. Not much to the match but the angle advancement was the important thing here. Also, unless Tajiri is holding the title for a lot longer, I don’t get why you wouldn’t change the title here. It’s not a stretch to have him get humiliated and walk into a chokeslam for the title but at least they finally did the split with Torrie.
Hurricane chokeslams Tajiri to make it even worse.
Jericho is with Vince and Stacy to brag about what happened earlier. Vince wants to give HHH a match tonight but doesn’t know who he could face. Cue D-Von and HHH has an opponent. Vince specially asks if he’s here and D-Von says he’s always here.
Hurricane and Al Snow discuss Spider-Man in what has to be a paid advertisement. Hurricane wants to ask Spider-Man whatuswiththat so Snow suggests medication. Someone has left Hurricane a note, saying they know who he is. Hurricane flies off and Snow says he thought it was weird talking to a head. Somehow, these two both appeared on TNA TV fourteen years after this.
Test vs. Mark Henry
Please let this be the blowoff. The challenge of a test of strength gets Henry in trouble and Test hits some running clotheslines in the corner. Henry comes back with clotheslines of his own (oh this isn’t going to be easy) before a powerslam gets two. Test gets gorilla pressed (with a nice assist by shoving off Henry’s shoulders but a bad ending as Henry doesn’t get him all the way up) for two more but he shoves Henry off the top. A flying elbow (one of the few things Test could make look good) gives Test another two but he has to low blow his way out of a full nelson. The big boot ends Henry a few seconds later.
Rating: D-. And so much for Henry going anywhere. See, if you have his whole character be based around power, it might help to have him actually win the matches. I’ve always liked Test but there’s only so much you can do with a guy whose main appeal is….somebody help me out here. Why is Test getting this push again?
Christian brags about beating HHH to Kurt Angle but Kurt gives Jericho the credit. Angle promises to make Edge bald tonight.
We recap Billy and Chuck losing their trunks and Rico getting a Stinkface. Rico says he’s coming out in style, meaning he’s wrestling tonight.
HHH vs. Reverend D-Von
The big moment here (other than HHH slumming it like this) is the debut of D-Von’s new lackey: Deacon BATISTA. D-Von introduces him to the crowd and tells him to watch the ring while he beats the sin out of HHH. It might be easier to beat the blood out of him since HHH has a big bandage on his head. A backdrop and spinebuster give HHH an early two but D-Von sends him into the buckle to take over. At least D-Von is smart enough to take the bandage off and go after the cut.
Batista sends HHH into the steps and hits a big clothesline. Who in the world would guess that would be Wrestlemania XXI? Back in and D-Von gets two off a middle rope forearm to the head, only to miss the headbutt. For some reason HHH goes to grab a chair but gets decked by Batista again. Batista misses a charge into the post though, meaning he looks great and has power but he isn’t that bright. It’s Pedigree time but Jericho runs in and hits HHH with the metal money box to give D-Von the big upset.
Rating: D+. It’s a big win for D-Von though I can’t imagine this is going to wind up meaning anything for him. In other words it’s part of a HHH story instead of anything else, though I don’t think anyone thought Reverend D-Von was going to go anywhere. At least we now have Batista as the Class of 2002 continues to grow.
Here’s Kurt Angle to explain the concept of a hair vs. hair match. Angle makes it even more clear by showing us a shot of Edge with no hair. Kurt: “MR. CLEAN LIVES!” He’s got a second picture but this time it’s Angle with no hair. Angle demands it’s taken away but it’s replaced by a YOU SUCK graphic. Edge’s presence is demanded but here’s Hulk Hogan instead because someone has to stand up for the bald guys. Seriously.
Hogan mentions names like Billy Graham, Steve Austin and of course himself, which pretty much ends the list of great bald champions. Angle promises to take the title from Hogan if Undertaker doesn’t because he’s the only REAL American around here. A big boot knocks Angle to the floor because Hogan is a secret Communist spy. Kurt bails but walks into a spear from Edge with very little reaction from the announcers.
Post break Angle storms into Vince’s office and is put into a tag match against Edge and Hogan with Jericho as his partner.
Billy and Chuck/Rico vs. Rikishi/Al Snow/Maven
What happened to Albert vs. Rikishi? If you’re going to set that stuff up, at least pay it off. Chuck and Snow start things off and Cole ignores the dull action to talk about upcoming house shows. Snow’s trapping headbutts have Chuck in trouble and it’s off to Rikishi for the fat man offense.
A quick poke to the eye cuts that off though and we get the first in ring appearance of Rico. Billy has to make a very quick save so Rikishi knocks him down as well. For some reason Maven gets a loud reaction off the tag but Rico kicks him from behind to give the bad guys control. Rico’s kicks have Maven in more trouble but Chuck comes back in and eats a DDT.
Snow comes in off the ice cold tag (because this story needed to end a long time ago) and everything breaks down. A Samoan drop to Chuck is completely no sold but a superkick that missed by a few inches knocks him outside. Go figure. Rico is knocked into position for a Stinkface but Chuck makes another save, allowing Billy to get in a Fameasser for the pin on Snow.
Rating: D. This show hasn’t been kind with the wrestling but can you blame them with this group of people? There’s no reason for Snow/Maven to keep going after the Tag Team Titles at this point, aside from a lack of anyone else to do it. Did they really split up the Dudley Boyz for the sake of these lame singles runs? Again: it would be nice if they thought this stuff through.
Randy Orton isn’t worried about his issues with Hardcore Holly but Lance Storm interrupts. Storm isn’t pleased with being relegated to taking bets on Mark Henry’s displays of strength so tonight he’ll show his skills against Orton.
We look back at Hogan destroying Undertaker’s motorcycle on Raw. The edited version takes it up from one of the worst segments of all time to just one of the worst of the year.
GET THE F OUT!
Lance Storm vs. Randy Orton
There’s no referee but as luck would have it, Hardcore Holly strolls out wearing a referee shirt. Cole: “I bet Mr. McMahon had something to do with this.” Thankfully Tazz is all over him for saying something that stupid. Storm starts fast with forearms to the back and a spinwheel kick before taking Orton down with a cravate. Randy comes back with exactly what you would expect but Holly won’t count a cover. A powerslam gets a very slow two and Orton hits the high crossbody for an equally slow two. Surrounded by unfairness, Orton gets pulled into the half crab with Holly pushing the ropes away to force the tap.
Rating: D+. Very basic match here but I’m glad it’s giving Storm something to do. He might not be the most entertaining wrestler in the world but there’s value in someone with that level of technical skills. Orton needs to get out of this Holly feud but at least he hasn’t lost to him yet.
Storm and Holly put the boots to Orton until Val Venis makes the save to get even with Storm for screwing him over last week. I can always go for logical week to week booking.
Edge goes into Hogan’s locker room and puts on his gear for the Hogan required Hulk impression until the real thing shows up to give his partner a pep talk. Edge: “He called me brother!”
Edge/Hulk Hogan vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Jericho
Hogan and Angle start things off and Kurt’s right hands have no effect. A quick forearm gets two for Hulk, which is actually a rare sight. How often do you see Hogan cover off anything but a finisher? Edge comes in and gets thrown with a belly to belly before Jericho offers his hard chops. The half nelson facebuster drops Jericho and Edge cleans house while Hogan stays on the apron. I think that’s best for everyone involved.
Chris snaps the throat across the top to take over and it’s time to choke with some tape. We hit the chinlock on Edge for a bit before they both hit cross bodies. The hot tag brings in Hogan to clean house (exactly what he should be used for) and the usual looks to finish Jericho until Angle pulls the referee. Jericho grabs the Walls on Hogan but here’s HHH with the sledgehammer for the DQ.
Rating: C-. This was the best Hogan match since Wrestlemania and it’s not even close. Hogan still has value as long as he doesn’t overstay his welcome in any given match. Here he started things off, threw some punches, stood on the apron to play cheerleader while Edge got beaten down and then came in for the house cleaning.
The fans are going to love that stuff because it’s what Hogan does best. What isn’t going to work is having Hogan out there for fifteen minutes, which he rarely did in his prime. Let the young guys go out there and do the hard work and let non-champion Hogan come in and do his thing. That could last for months if not a year or two.
Vince comes out and offers to let HHH hit him with the hammer, though it’s going to cost him his career. HHH swings but Vince drops to the floor, allowing Jericho to get in a chair shot to end the show. This is really feeling like a modern Cell match as I can barely remember why HHH is mad at Vince in the first place. None of that matters though as HHH and Jericho are going into the Cell and that’s all that matters.
Overall Rating: D+. The wrestling was really weak here but the storytelling makes up for some of that. They clearly have plans week to week here and it makes the shows so much easier to sit through. Couple that with a lack of anything horrible like the NWO or the motorcycle segment from Raw and it’s no surprise that Smackdown is miles ahead of Raw at the moment. Fix up the wrestling and the show would be a highlight instead of just better than the horrible one.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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I don’t know if it’s due to being on cough medicine or reality setting in but THIS IS THE GREATEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!
Superstars – October 7, 2016: The Raw Alternative
Superstars Date: October 7, 2016
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
This is the kind of show you don’t often get in WWE: a quick and simple wrestling show where the in ring action is really all that matters. You’ll also get some highlights from this week’s Monday Night Raw while seeing some names that don’t often make it onto the major TV show. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Darren Young vs. Jinder Mahal
Dang it I can’t get away from Mahal. Darren works on the wrist to start and almost falls over while trying a swinging neckbreaker. Mahal pulls him out of the corner though and drops some knees from the middle rope for his first two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before another knee drop gets another two. Mahal has those long legs so it makes sense to use the knees that often. Back up and Young grabs a belly to back suplex onto the apron, followed by the Gut Check for the pin on Mahal at 4:21.
Rating: D. The wrestling was fine but these two combine for the personality of a chair. I’ll be very glad when the election is over and we can drop this making Darren Young great again nonsense. At least putting him on Superstars is better than making me watch him face Titus O’Neil every week on Raw.
We go back to Raw for the Roman Reigns/Rusev/Lana segment.
Here’s Roman Reigns to open the show and MY GOODNESS they’re booing him out of the building. WWE is asking for this one as Reigns just isn’t the kind of person who can go out there and talk full time. He goes into the guy line but here’s Lana to interrupt. Fans: “THANK YOU LANA!” With the accent slipping, Lana rips into Reigns for everything he’s done in recent weeks but Reigns just tells her to bring her husband out here if he wants that rematch.
Rusev comes out and the brawl is on again with the Bulgarian getting the better of it and knocking Reigns into the crowd. Rusev takes the belt and starts to walk up the ramp but Reigns sneaks up from behind him with a Superman Punch. Reigns grabs the mic and says they can have the rematch but it’s going to be inside the Cell.
Back to Raw and here’s most of New Day vs. Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens.
Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens vs. New Day
Non-title. Masterson and Kutcher are on commentary as Owens runs Woods over to start. Owens makes sure to jump over Xavier in the kind of funny bit that most people just don’t think to do. Woods gets taken into the corner for the double teaming as Kutcher talks about their new show. It’s off to Big E. to face Owens for some hip swiveling.
Graves says Saxton would be the Fez (character on That 70s Show, on which Masterson and Kutcher starred) of the commentary table, which sounds like a good insult, assuming you find dating Mila Kunis’ character to be a bad thing. Big E. gets beaten down even more as the announcers discuss middle names and scarves.
Back from a break with Owens and Big E. colliding off a double clothesline. Woods comes in and gets chinlocked before it’s back to Jericho for a running clothesline in the corner. A superplex is broken up and Woods gets two off a high crossbody. Owens breaks up a hot tag attempt and gets two off a DDT.
Cue Seth Rollins to the stage for a distraction though and Woods gets in an enziguri. The hot tag brings in Big E. to clean house (and swivel the hips of course) but Owens superkicks him down. Big E. and Owens go to the floor and Jericho gets the Liontamer on Woods, only to have Rollins offer a distraction. A quick Midnight Hour puts Jericho away at 16:25.
Rating: C-. This was much longer than it needed to be and served little more purpose than to have Kutcher and Masterson there to plug their new show. It’s a really bad sign that this is what the World Champion is being used for: a second hour tag match with little to gain other than helping set up a Netflix show. Well done WWE. It’s good to see what you think of what should be your flagship star. Masterson and Kutcher were both fine and seemed to be having a lot of fun, which is much better than you’re going to get out of most guest stars.
Rollins gives Jericho a Pedigree to really get under Owens’ skin.
Neville vs. Curtis Axel
Axel slams him to start and it’s already time to pose. A rollup gets one for Neville but Axel drives in some knees to the robes to take over again. We get the front flips across the corner and a dropkick sends Axel outside. That means a running flip dive but it’s way too early for the Red Arrow as Neville is kicked out to the floor. Back from a break with Axel hitting a great looking dropkick and grabbing an armbar chinlock. The Axehole (that neckbreaker faceplant that Axel used to use as a finisher before it stopped finishing anyone) gets two and it’s an enziguri into the Red Arrow for the pin on Axel at 7:18.
Rating: D+. Not the most exciting match in the world but I liked it better than the opener. Granted that’s probably due to having Neville in there instead of someone like Young as there’s so much more charisma in the second match. Axel continues to be someone that could go somewhere if they gave him the right story but there’s been too many losses and too much time gone over the years to make it work without something major.
Long recap of Charlotte vs. Sasha, going all the way back to the BFF’s days in NXT. They’ve both been fighting to prove themselves as the best in the world and have traded the title over the last few months.
Hispanic Heritage Month video on Cesar Chavez.
Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte
Charlotte is defending and we get Big Match Intros. Sasha kicks her outside and hits a suicide dive, setting up a break less than thirty seconds in. Back with Charlotte in control and working on the back with a backbreaker (makes sense) and a hard shove into the corner. Sasha blocks the big boot and gets two off the double knees.
The champ is sent outside but is still able to drop Sasha’s back onto the apron. Sasha tries to go up top but gets knocked onto the ropes for a nasty crash. Charlotte’s superplex is shoved off and double knees from the top get two. It’s too early for the Bank Statement though so Charlotte sends her outside, setting up a CORKSCREW MOONSAULT TO THE FLOOR! I mean it made almost no contact but it looked awesome. Natural Selection gets two back inside and Charlotte is frustrated. A headscissors sets up the Bank Statement and Charlotte taps in a hurry to give Sasha the title at 14:17.
Rating: B. Good match but they felt out of sync at the end. That missed moonsault didn’t help things and the ending felt like it was out of nowhere. Sasha winning makes the most sense and, dare I say, sets up a rematch inside the Cell? They’ll have a rematch one way or another and it needs a little something more than just a regular match.
A long celebration ends the show.
Overall Rating: C+. This show’s rating depends on whether or not you’re factoring in the bonus footage. With the bonus and far more important stuff being thrown in, I could easily see why people would prefer this over the full three hour version. Oddly you could skip the original wrestling and just watch the stuff from Raw to get your fill of Monday’s show in far less time. It’s a perfectly entertaining and quick show, which makes it very different from Raw.
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Impact Wrestling Date: October 6, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
It’s the start of a new era for TNA as we’re straight off Bound For Glory with the big story being Lashley holding onto the TNA World Title. Other than that we have new Tag Team Champions with the Hardys defeating Decay in the Great War and the first ever Grand Champion in Aron Rex. Everything starts fresh tonight so let’s get to it.
We open with a montage from Bound For Glory.
Here’s Lashley to open the show with a smirk on his face. Lashley brags about how he beats everyone in the company and is the man around here because of this belt on his shoulder. No one can beat him but here’s Aron Rex to interrupt. Rex used to be smart so he’s going to try to do the math. Grand Champion sounds a lot better than World Champion so Rex sees himself as the man around here.
A fight is teased but here’s Gail Kim to interrupt. TNA would make her World Champion in a heartbeat so I shouldn’t be surprised by this one. Gail says it’s 2016 and the women are changing the game around here so she’s the face of the company. This brings out Matt Hardy with Reby and Maxill (no Jeff and Matt has both belts) to say TNA is now a broken company. Preach it brother.
Matt is always ready to delete (repeat five times) but here’s DJZ to give us all the titles in one ring. DJZ mentions something called Team X Gold but Lashley cuts him off and says he’s got a fight coming up and doesn’t have time to waste with second rate title holders. Now it’s Billy Corgan coming out with Aiden O’Shea (Remember him?) to congratulate all the champions.
All of the champions will be in competition tonight (Matt: “WONDERFUL!”) and Lashley doesn’t care who he’s facing tonight. All the titles will be on the line tonight, except for DJZ because he helped to introduce Team X Gold. Wait are they having X-Division Tag Team Titles? For the love of all things good and holy, WHY??? Anyway Lashley is given three options to face tonight but first up it’s Team X Gold.
Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett/Marshe Rocket vs. DJZ/Mandrews/Braxton Sutter
Everett and Mandrews start things off with Mandrews hitting a moonsault into a basement dropkick. Rocket, a good sized guy, comes in and kicks Mandrews in the face to take over. It’s off to Lee vs. Sutter with Braxton getting in a kick to the face until Rocket comes back in with a powerslam. DJZ comes in for some clotheslines on Rocket but the champ gets kicked in the face. It’s quickly off to Everett, who moonsaults into raised boots. A quick tag off to Mandrews sets up a shooting star press to pin Everett at 5:27.
Rating: C. Oh sweet goodness TNA what are you doing? I get the idea here (capitalizing on the success of the Cruiserweight Classic) but my goodness could they come up with something a little better than throwing six guys out there with little to no connection and having a match?
Normally I would ask if they had learned anything from WWE’s mistakes in the cruiserweight division but of course they haven’t because they think it’s a good idea to have a full six man tag division when they can barely do a singles division. Rocket looked impressive here and has star power but this is just more stuff that doesn’t solve the problems the X-Division already has (no stories, no characters etc.)
One of Lashley’s potential opponents is Moose, who says Lashley is scared of him.
It’s time for Fact of Life with Eli Drake and now he’s got a set outside the ring. Drake brings out Ethan Carter III, who had a rocket shoved so far inside him you would think he’d spit out rocket fuel. Eli won’t let Ethan talk as he comes up with ways to call Ethan a loser. Ethan says he lost at Bound For Glory and says his passion has been replaced by anger. If Drake pushes the button one more time, Ethan is going to eviscerate him and he even gets on his knees to beg Drake to hit it again.
Drake shoves the button away and talks about getting into TNA because of something called the Rising. He’s been hearing about how he’s not in Ethan Carter’s league because Carter has been handed every opportunity. That’s it for the interview, which means we don’t get an explanation for how Drake grew a full head of hair and a beard in four days.
Maria Kanellis yells at Allie over screwing up on Sunday. Sienna and Laurel Van Ness talk Maria out of firing her because they need someone to carry their bags. Sienna will get the title back tonight and Allie better not mess it up.
Eddie Edwards says Lashley sees him as the easy match so please pick him to give Lashley the easy title defense.
Video on Gail Kim’s Hall of Fame induction.
Knockouts Title: Sienna vs. Gail Kim
Gail is defending and Madison Rayne is on commentary (with her husband Josh Matthews). Sienna knocks Allie into Gail to knock her off the apron before driving the champ back first into the apron. They head inside with Gail escaping the AK-47 but getting caught in a reverse powerbomb for two. Gail ducks the Pounce and rolls Sienna up to retain at 3:04.
Rating: D+. This match sums up so many of the problems in TNA in one match: a lack of emotion. There’s no reason to care about Gail other than she’s been here for a long time. There’s no reason to care about Sienna because she had the title and then lost it after doing a total of nothing as champion. Combine that with a nothing match that gets no time and what is there here to get excited over? The problem is that’s the case with the majority of what TNA does and it gets really tiresome.
Maria and company come out to beat on Gail. With Sienna holding Gail, Maria says her rematch will take place next week in a No DQ match. Madison is downright annoyed over this. I mean, she’s not going to do anything about it but it’s certainly ruffled her feathers.
Ethan Carter III is the third option and doesn’t think Lashley will pick him. If Lashley wants a real fight though, pick him.
Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Decay
This is a Wolf Creek Cage Match, meaning a weapons cage match with a win by escape only and a name tied into one of Pop’s shows. It’s a brawl to start with Jeff stapling Abyss in various places. Steve climbs the cage and gets a grappling hook of all things to pull at Matt’s mouth. A kendo stick shot to the back puts Matt down but the Hardys come back with shots of their own.
Matt grabs a CHAINSAW to knock Steve down but Abyss cleans house again. Rosemary stops Jeff from escaping and we get another catfight on the floor. The video freezes for a few moments and comes back on a commercial. We come back from a break with the next segment and no mention of who won. According to TNA’s Twitter, the Hardys won at we’ll say about 9:00.
Rating: D. Lack of an ending aside, this was a really boring cage match with Josh talking about Wolf Creek every few seconds. The problem is when you take away the Final Deletion stuff, Matt and Jeff are two middle aged wrestlers who don’t have anywhere near the spark they used to have, leaving us with really dull matches.
Here are Cody and Brandi Rhodes for their big formal introduction. Cody talks about how the game is changing and lists off some things from Bound For Glory. He talks about the list (a list of things he wanted to do in wrestling) being his guiding light with names like Mike Bennett making him want to keep going.
After a quick Brandi chant, Cody says maybe he should have put the TNA World Title on the list because that’s the Queen’s jewels and the Master Sword. This brings out Mike Bennett and Maria with Bennett not being pleased with Cody being handed a title shot. When Mike got here, he was told that people aren’t just handed title shots so he was ready to earn it. Mike mentions the idea of fighting Cody and that’s enough for the man without a last name. The brawl is on the Bennett bails in a hurry.
Post break Cody says he wants Mike Bennett next week.
O’Shea stops Maria from going into Corgan’s office and calls her toots. Corgan has a message for her though: if she loses her title rematch next week, she’s out of power in the Knockouts division.
Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Baron Dax
Rex is defending and we’re back to three minute rounds. The champ gets a headlock to start but walks into a pair of neckbreakers. Josh calls this controlling the action because TNA likes to brand the simplest of things because WWE does it and that means it’s a good idea. We hit the chinlock on Rex before Dax hammers away to end the first round. Baron wins the first round and he’s in early control of the second as well. Rex elbows him down and grabs the Royal Arch (Edgecator, though it sounds like a big McDonald’s sandwich) for the submission at 4:18.
Rating: D. So the five minute rounds were just for Bound For Glory and not for the rest of the title matches? But hey, at least we get TEAM X GOLD, which is supposed to be entertaining for whatever reason. This isn’t an interesting concept and I was hoping they would drop it soon enough but let’s just keep it going no matter what because TNA needs to evolve the business by having Rex beat a tag team jobber in four minutes.
Rex says this is changing the business.
Lashley and the three potential opponents come out for the main event. Lashley takes his time and goes over each opponent before picking……Eddie.
TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards
Lashley is defending but misses a spear at the bell. A release German suplex flips Eddie over though and a delayed vertical suplex makes it even worse. Eddie’s hurricanrana is countered with a powerbomb but he gets in a few kicks to the face. Now the hurricanrana brings Lashley off the middle rope and the champ is in trouble. The Boston Knee Party misses but Eddie sends him outside for the suicide dives, only to miss the third one and crash into the barricade. Back in and the Boston Knee Party out of nowhere gives Eddie the title at 7:50.
Rating: C+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it’s a really entertaining moment and that’s more important. Eddie getting the belt is a good idea, though couldn’t they have done this at Bound For Glory where it would have felt more important? Or, you know, not have had Eddie lose on Sunday? At least it felt important and big though while giving us something fresh. As long as they don’t change the title right back, this should be find.
Next up on Pop: Wolf Creek. Why do I have a feeling the choice for the title isn’t a coincidence?
Overall Rating: C-. Main event aside, this show did very little to fix TNA’s major issues. I still have very few people to care about around here and it’s not really getting much better. Between the new Grand Championship division and apparently an X-Division trios division (because reasons), it feels like they’re just throwing stuff out there. There’s really no main event story and there hasn’t been anything personal around the World Title in a long time. You need something people can connect to because average wrestling isn’t going to cut it these days. It’s not a bad show but very little I can connect to.
Results
DJZ/Mandrews/Braxton Sutter b. Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett/Marshe Rocket – Shooting star press to Everett
Gail Kim b. Sienna – Rollup
Hardys b. Decay – Hardys escaped the cage
Aron Rex b. Baron Dax – Royal Arch
Eddie Edwards b. Lashley – Boston Knee Party
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Monday Night Raw Date: May 6, 2002
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
Maybe a new month will help things out a little bit. I know I say this every week but it almost can’t get worse than last week with Undertaker very slowly beating Hulk Hogan down because Hogan can barely move at this point in his career. The pay per view really can’t get here soon enough as I can’t imagine they’ll keep the title on Hogan any longer. Let’s get to it.
Oh and as of today: it’s WWE. I’ll put the over/under on mentions of the new name at 5000.
We open with…..gardening? An older woman chops up her bushes to get them into a perfect WWE logo, which she then lights on fire. The new tagline: Get the F Out. I actually like that as it gets straight to the point.
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz
Jazz is defending, there are no disqualifications and Steven Richards is in the champ’s corner. The fans want puppies as Jazz sends Trish into the corner to start, only to miss a splash. Richards offers a distraction though and Trish’s rollup goes nowhere. JR says this is for the World Wrestling Entertainment Women’s Title and I think we’re all glad that name didn’t last.
Jazz throws her around with some butterfly suplexes for two, followed by the double chickenwing facebuster to send Lawler into hysterics. A Chick Kick and Stratusfaction has the champ beaten but Richards makes another save by superkicking Trish down to give Jazz the pin.
Rating: D. Was there a point to this that I don’t get? The No DQ stuff could have been forgotten with a simple referee distraction but to be fair I’d probably call that stupid. It might be easier to just have them do a regular match and scrap Richards as a whole but then we couldn’t do the following.
Bubba Ray Dudley with a Bubba Bomb, Raven with the Raven Effect, Justin Credible with a superkick, Crash Holly with a missile dropkick, Bubba with a trashcan shot and Trish stealing the title and a blinded Bubba (fire extinguisher) powerbombing Trish through a table so Richards can steal the pin gives us six Hardcore Title changes in about two minutes because old jokes are funnier when you do them for the third time in less than two months. Bubba takes Trish to the back because that makes up for powerbombing her through a table.
Here’s the NWO for a chat due to reasons of WE’RE TELLING YOU THEY WERE A GOOD IDEA AND YOU CAN JUST DEAL WITH IT! Show lets us see him turning heel and joining the team in a big moment. Two years ago, he was in the main event of Wrestlemania while Austin was hurt. Now it’s 2002 and he spent Wrestlemania in a restaurant pretending to have a good time instead of being on the show. Last month he was in a preliminary match on Heat while Austin had a #1 contenders match. Show is a monster that no one can stop and now the NWO is even bigger.
This brings out Ric Flair to say he wishes he could have Big Show’s natural gifts but he’s a sixteen time World Champion because he didn’t whine and cry. It’s really more about when Flair didn’t cry but we’re not quite to that point yet. Flair tells Show to deal with it and announces the NWO vs. Bradshaw/Austin/Flair, which he already announced last week. Hall promises a history changing announcement for later tonight.
European Title: William Regal vs. Spike Dudley
Spike is defending and is coming in with a bad ankle due to Regal attacking him over the weekend. He’s ready to fight anyway and jumps on Regal’s back, earning himself a stomp to the foot and a slam onto the ropes. A simple leglock makes Spike tap in about 35 seconds. That would be two title changes in 40 seconds combined for this belt.
Regal beats Spike up even more after the match. D’Lo Brown of all people comes out for the save.
Flair rants to Arn Anderson in a nothing segment.
Booker T. goes to 7-11 for a Slurpee and is annoyed that there’s no Booker T. cup. He runs into Goldust in a Latrell Spreewell jersey with headphones around his neck. Goldust has followed him from his hotel (Booker: “YOU BEEN FOLLOWING ME???”) and wants to talk strategy for their match tonight. Booker seems to agree but has to go. Goldust: “If you’ll let me have a drink of your Slurpee, I’ll let you have a bite of my weiner.” Booker responds as you would expect anyone to if he’s offered a bite of a hot dog. Funny stuff as always.
We look at Planet Stasiak costing Brock Lesnar and himself a tag match at Insurrextion over the weekend.
Flair finds an APA hat in the NWO dressing room. Bradshaw doesn’t seem like one to just leave his hat laying around.
Undertaker arrives and assigns someone to watch his bike.
The NWO is standing near the entrance, seemingly waiting on somebody.
Planet Stasiak vs. Brock Lesnar
Brock fires off the shoulders in the corner to start as we get the GOLDBERG chants. The spinebuster looks to finish but Heyman wants an example made. An F5 and a boot on the chest is enough for the easy pin. Another squash.
Hulk Hogan has stolen Undertaker’s motorcycle because Undertaker left the keys in the ignition.
GET THE F OUT! It’s the same thing as earlier as the company is still WWE about an hour later.
Here’s Hogan on the motorcycle to Undertaker’s music. I really could have gone my whole life without seeing Hulk Hogan coming out to Limp Bizkit. Hulk gets right to the point by calling Undertaker out for a fight and threatening his motorcycle to sweeten the pot a bit. Undertaker comes out and tells Hogan not to mess with the bike. Hogan isn’t impressed and swears a bit before turning the bike on. It moves a whole three feet before the engine stalls, leaving Undertaker to…..stand right there and not do a thing.
Hogan finally leaves the bike on the ramp and runs (work with me here) after Undertaker as we cut to the commentators. You can hear the engine revving as Hogan is apparently still out there trying to get the thing to work. Well done by JR and King to not die of laughter here. The chase is FINALLY on with Hogan driving the bike around backstage (had to do it as the pre-tape shows him on the bike backstage). He changes pace a bit by driving around even more, all while shouting for Undertaker.
Hogan eventually parks it in front of a semi truck and gets inside as we go to a break. Back with Hogan crushing the bike. You know, a month and a half ago he used a similar truck to crush an ambulance with Rock inside so this is real progress for him. This was WAY too long and I’m amazed that both guys didn’t just walk off the show when the bike stalled. What a sign indeed.
Rob Van Dam/Jeff Hardy vs. Booker T./Eddie Guerrero
Van Dam and Guerrero hit the mat to start with Rob monkey flipping him down but missing a kick to the face. Instead a faceplant out of an electric chair sends Eddie crawling over to the corner for the tag to Booker. More kicks have Mr. T. in trouble and it’s off to Jeff as things speed up again.
Booker finally gets in a shot on Hardy and it’s time for a face to be in peril. An elbow to the jaw sets up the Spinarooni for two (Lawler: “Dagnabbit.”) but Jeff comes back with a dropkick (totally missed) and the real hot tag brings in Van Dam. Everything breaks down again and Rolling Thunder gets two on Eddie. Cue Goldust for a failed distraction so a Swanton from Jeff and the Five Star from Rob can put Eddie away.
Rating: C+. These guys are becoming the lone bright spots on this show and it’s a bit disappointing to have them all in the same match. At least it was one of the better segments so far this week with a good looking ending. You certainly can’t fault Eddie for losing when he takes back to back finishers so he was even a bit protected in the loss.
Terri has challenged Molly to a swimsuit contest later tonight with a contest between pure and wholesome or what’s under her robe.
Flair and Anderson think Bradshaw has joined the NWO, guaranteeing that he hasn’t.
It’s time for the swimsuit contest and of course Lawler is in charge. Terri comes out and Lawler is praying for a thong. Molly brings a pair of flippers for more proper swimming attire (JR: “The Hilary Clinton of the WWF.”). Molly decides she’s going first and, after putting on her swimming cap, reveals a conservative one piece with a skirt. It looks like a figure skating costume, meaning it looks like what a lot of run of the mill women would wear to a pool every day.
Naturally Lawler and the crowd think it’s horrible and treat Molly like she’s wearing a full body suit with only her ankles showing. Terri reveals exactly what you would expect and wins because fans go for the orange skin with countable ribs look. Molly lays her out with a flipper in the only heelish thing she’s done in the entire segment.
Flair goes to Bradshaw’s locker room (Bradshaw has his own locker room?) and finds Kane’s mask, which X-Pac stole weeks ago.
After a break, Flair runs into Bradshaw and demands an explanation. Bradshaw says he’ll see Flair in the ring.
Undertaker finds his bike. Where in the world has he been for the last half hour? He tries to pull the bike out from under the truck and then stomps on the bike, likely thinking that floating out of the top of a casket after cutting a promo to a camera hanging from the lid wasn’t so bad after all. Undertaker leaves and Kevin Nash arrives for the surprise.
NWO vs. Ric Flair/Bradshaw/Steve Austin
Austin and X-Pac start and it’s a spinebuster each for X-Pac and Hall. Steve cleans house with right hands but can’t get a Stunner on Hall. Instead it’s off to the Big Show for some choking in the corner and a backdrop that sends Austin flying. You don’t see Austin in the air that often. Bradshaw tags himself in for the fall away slam on Hall as JR thinks there’s only one Kane mask in existence. You know, because they’re not sold at the merchandise stands.
Show comes back in and throws Bradshaw around “like a double cheeseburger.” Who throws double cheeseburgers around? I’ve never been to Oklahoma but are things really that different there? The bloody (thanks to some Big Show headbutts) Bradshaw is beaten down by all three NWOites with Show headbutting him into the bad corner. A big boot finally drops X-Pac and it’s Flair coming in with the chops.
Everything breaks down and Bradshaw’s Clotheslines lays out X-Pac but Big Show pulls him outside for a chokeslam through the announcers’ table. Austin finally goes after Show (which is the point of this whole thing) but has to Stun Hall and X-Pac at the same time. Some Big Show chops have Austin in trouble and he falls out to the floor. Austin actually goes aerial again with a middle rope Thesz press to put Show down but the Stunner is easily blocked and we get a ref bump.
A low blow sets up the Stunner but there’s no referee. Of course there isn’t because this hasn’t gone on long enough. Flair hits Austin with a chair to go full heel and destroys the knee to make things even worse. With Austin down, Flair makes himself and Big Show vs. Austin at the pay per view. Ric grabs a Figure Four as the match is a no contest.
Rating: D-. The length here is the big problem as this went on for over fifteen minutes and set up the most obvious ending they could have gone with after eliminating every other possible option. Taking out the fact that Nash was just a decoy and what else could it have been other than Flair turning heel? It makes sense, but it was really tiresome having to sit through the APA hat/Kane mask stuff earlier. Just WAY too long here though and it really dragged things down even further than they were before.
Overall Rating: F+. Raw is now beyond free fall and has hit the ground, exploding on impact. Other than the same four midcard guys having their regularly good matches (less than six minutes this week), I can’t think of a single thing on this show that isn’t either too short, boring, offensive or the pit of torture that is the main event.
Raw has had six shows since the Brand Split. Here are the main event matches/segments which go along with Hogan/HHH as World Champion:
Kane vs. X-Pac/Austin contract signing
Austin vs. Hall
Austin/Bradshaw vs. NWO/Undertaker
Austin/Big Show vs. NWO
Hogan vs. Regal/Undertaker beats Hogan down
Austin/Bradshaw/Flair vs. NWO
Here’s the thing: other than two major pops for Hogan, is there any reason that Austin isn’t in Hogan’s spot? Hogan has a long history with Hall, Nash and Flair while Austin has a long history with HHH and Undertaker. Much more importantly though, Austin may be a shell of his glory days but he’s WAY ahead of Hogan at this point. Hogan’s matches so far have been embarrassing while you could at least pencil in Austin for watchable at worst. Couple that with swapping the NWO out for ANYTHING else and this show is instantly better.
Raw is a disaster right now with two major angles being huge wastes of everyone’s time and it’s turned into one of the biggest messes I’ve seen in a long time. I know people would get sick of the upcoming HHH and Shawn Michaels dominance but it puts this nonsense to shame. At least you could get a decent main event, which we haven’t gotten so far in six weeks.
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NXT Date: October 5, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
It’s time to start a tournament as we have the first round of the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic kicking off tonight. Last year’s event was a lot of fun and set up the NXT Title feud for the next several Takeovers. The finals of this year’s tournament will be taking place at Takeover: Toronto in November so let’s get to it.
The opening video talks about the Dusty Classic returning this year.
Opening sequence.
Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic First Round: Bollywood Boyz vs. Authors of Pain
Harv and Gurv Shira dance a lot before the bell so Razar puts Harv on the top rope for some clubberin. Gurv comes in and gets beaten down as well, setting up the Russian legsweep and clothesline combination (now dubbed the Last Chapter) for the pin at 1:47.
Dan Matha arrives tonight.
Rich Swann vs. Patrick Clark
Clark looks like he’s wearing Prince style gear. Even Swann looks confused here. Rich does some dancing punches in the corner until he gets caught in a spinebuster. The fans sing Swann’s theme song and he makes a quick comeback with a running kick in the corner. A running moonsault puts Clark away at 2:58.
We look back at Cedric Alexander and Andrade Cien Almas facing off a few weeks back and joining forces in the tournament as a result.
Video of Asuka squashing Liv Morgan last week. After the match, Billie Kay and Peyton Royce laughed at Morgan’s loss.
Peyton Royce vs. Danielle Kamela
Kamela starts fast with a small package and cross body for two each. Peyton sends her into the corner for some long legged choking and forearms to the chest. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Kamela fights up for handspring elbow, only to get kneed in the head. A fisherman’s suplex gives Peyton the pin at 3:44.
Rating: D+. The wrestling wasn’t much but it was a good sign that they’re actually trying to make some new names both in the division and in the promotion as a whole. Royce and Kay are fine as replacements for Dana Brooke and Emma as the heel team, though I can’t imagine them being much of a threat to Asuka.
Bobby Roode is way too fired up for the first round match in the Dusty Classic. He doesn’t want to talk about Sanity when everyone is talking about Glorious Ten. “It will be glorious when we’re victorious.” Roode rushes Dillinger out before he can say anything.
Dan Matha comes out (looking like a cross between Matt Morgan and Nathan Jones) for his debut but here’s Samoa Joe to beat him down instead. Joe asks Regal how many more have to suffer like this one here.
Rich Swann and No Way Jose have teamed up due to a love of dancing.
Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic First Round: Andrade Cien Almas/Cedric Alexander vs. Revival
Non-title. Alexander and Dawson start things off with Cedric getting shouldered down. Everything breaks down and the Revival is dropkicked out to the floor and a backdrop does it all over again. A big flip dive from Cedric takes the champs down again and it’s all Alexander/Almas in the first four minutes. Revival finally gets it together by suckering Almas into a blindside forearm as we take a break.
Back with Dawson getting two off a northern lights suplex as the champs start in on Almas’ arm. The fans want Cedric and an enziguri from Almas gives them what they want. Everything breaks down again and Alexander gets two off a sunset flip into a bridge. Almas has knocked out to the floor though and it’s the Shatter Machine to send the Revival on at 12:40.
Rating: B. I liked this more than I was expecting to as Almas is looking better while Alexander looks like one of the most natural newcomers to WWE in a very long time. Revival has to advance here and that’s the only possibly outcome they could have, especially in the first round. Someone almost has to take them out though as you have Gargano/Ciampa and the Authors of Pain looming for them.
Post match, Almas beats Cedric down and sends him into the post. Almas soaks in the YOU SUCK chants to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. Another fast paced show with every story hitting perfectly. Almas turning is long overdue and is another example of NXT seeing something not working and changing course as a result. That’s close to blasphemy in WWE but down here, it’s what you do when something isn’t going right. NXT actually pays attention and fixes things because they listen to their audience. I love that concept.
Results
Authors of Pain b. Bollywood Boyz – Last Chapter to Gurv
Rich Swann b. Patrick Clark – Running moonsault
Peyton Royce b. Danielle Kamela – Fisherman’s suplex
Revival b. Cedric Alexander/Andrade Cien Almas – Shatter Machine to Alexander
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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