Impact Wrestling
Date: September 1, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

The countdown to Bound For Glory 2016 continues as we have five more weeks before the biggest show of the year. Things have changed a bit coming out of last week as Drew Galloway has turned heel by attacking Aron Rex, likely setting up Rex’s first feud and a Bound For Glory match. Let’s get to it.

We open with Reby (who looks like Matt from behind) and the Hardys playing the piano and singing the Obsolete song. Even Senor Benjamin, Vanguard One and Maxill get in on the sing a long. Maxill’s piano playing give Matt a pre-mo-nition that the battle with Decay will take place here at the Hardy Compound instead of at the Zone of Impact. Matt is worried but Reby has a sword to protect herself and Maxill.

In the arena (and out of that insanity), Mike Bennett and Maria are here for a chat. Mike is here to complete his kingdom of miracles by winning the World Title tonight. He’s so successful because he surrounds himself with people like Maria and Moose, who Mike would like to come down to settle things. Instead here’s Lashley to say he doesn’t have to fake confidence like Bennett does.

Lashley is so confident that he’s willing to let tonight’s title match be No DQ. Bennett thinks Lashley is jealous of Moose and doesn’t believe that they went to dinner last week. The champ says they did go to dinner (Are we on a Disney sitcom?) and maybe Lashley smartened him up a bit. Moose comes out to say he’s let his actions do the talking and tonight he’ll determine who wins the title. Bennett takes that as Moose saying he’ll win but Moose says not so fast before leaving.

Matt Hardy vs. Crazzy Steve

They look at each other to start because both of them are a bit insane. Steve dropkicks the knee out and we hit the chinlock. The fight goes outside with the fans telling Matt to DELETE him. So they want Steve to join Matt’s team? Jeff hits Steve with a boot a few times and the Twist of Fate puts Steve away at 4:20.

Rating: D. I’m very bored with the Hardys anytime they’re just having matches. The gimmick is so insane that it’s entertaining at times and the second Final Deletion (you know that’s coming) should be fun but the actual wrestling is just Matt and Jeff looking old and boring. Steve continues to be more of a character than good but he works well with Abyss so that’s a step up.

Post match Steve gets the mic and says Decay is at the Hardy Compound and Maxill is now Rosemary’s baby.

The X-Division guys try to explain the X-Division and basically say it’s about being fearless. So we can expect Nikki Bella showing up when?

After a break, Matt calls Reby (with his phone actually saying Broken Matt Hardy) but she doesn’t answer. The camera in the Hardy Compound shows Rosemary looking at Maxill.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. DJZ vs. Andrew Everett vs. Mandrews vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Rockstar Spud

The title is vacant coming in and this is a gauntlet match, meaning people are added at fixed intervals but you can pull the title down at any time. Trevor Lee and DJZ start things off and they slug it out for a bit before pulling each other down. Andrew Everett is in third and the time intervals seem to be two and a half minutes. DJZ gets double teamed so the Helms Dynasty (minus Helms showing up lately) goes up at the same time.

A knee to DJZ’s head knocks him silly but here’s Mandrews to break up the title grab attempt. Mandrews gets thrown off the top though and we take a break. Back with a replay package of what we saw before the commercial instead of what we missed. Braxton Sutter entered during the break and here’s Rockstar Spud to complete the field but it’s still too early to get the title with Sutter making the save.

We hit the big streak of dives before people get back in, only to be thrown out or knocked down seconds later. There’s nothing to talk about here as it’s just one move or spot after another with nothing in between. Spud uses a chair to knock Sutter off the cables but it’s the Helms Dynasty going up and grabbing the title at at the same time. No one comes down with it though so DJZ springboards in and pulls the title down to win at 16:23.

Rating: C+. I’m sure this is the revitalization that the X-Division has been needing for years now and that this will be different than the other half dozen times they’ve promised it’s not going to be left by the wayside again. The same problems they always have still apply here: no characters, no storylines other than they all want the title and get thrown together into one match and nothing we haven’t seen before. Fix some of those things and give us an actual story and the division might go somewhere.

Ethan Carter III is talking about his match last week when Eli Drake comes up to challenge him to a match tonight.

Drew Galloway promises an explanation.

We look at Allie accidentally winning the Knockouts Title last week.

Here’s Drew Galloway to explain his actions from last week. Drew says you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. He’s been asking why he stood up for TNA when he first arrived and he’s not sure. When he won the World Title, the celebration went on for a week. Then Ethan Carter http://ambienbuy.net screwed him over three straight times but the fans cheered for him. Then Aron Rex showed up and said the same things he said in his debut but the fans were cheering for him anyway.

Rex wants to be the next Drew Galloway so Drew has to teach him a few things. This brings out Billy Corgan to say Drew’s actions should earn him a suspension without pay but a little bird told him not to do it. Drew accuses Corgan of becoming the establishment and doing everything Dixie Carter tells him. Actually it was Rex who kept Drew from being suspended and here he is for the brawl but security quickly breaks it up. This was good stuff and Rex looked like a star who was on Drew’s level.

Reby answers the phone and Matt says the match tonight was just a setup. She and Maxill will go to the safe room but Vanguard One tells Matt that Rosemary is already there.

Ethan Carter III vs. Eli Drake

Drake is nice enough to spell his name out before they head to the floor with Ethan in control. Back in and Drake takes over with your standard heel offense (I love listening to him talk but his wrestling isn’t great) and escapes the TK3 attempt. A chinlock doesn’t go very far and the second TK3 attempt connects just fine. The 1%er is enough for the pin on Drake at 6:00.

Rating: D+. Not much to this one but there’s nothing wrong with that. This was a main eventer beating a midcarder who got in some offense before losing. That’s a simple booking plan and it works just fine with the big name getting a win over someone with credibility and the midcarder not losing any status because he was fighting a bigger star.

Allie is very excited about her title win and doesn’t mind Maria making her plan her own celebration.

Reby tells Matt to get back here now. Senor Benjamin is holding Maxill.

DJZ celebrates his title win and says he’s ready to defend it.

Here’s Allie for her title celebration. Before she can get anywhere, here are Maria and Sienna to interrupt. Maria sends Sienna to the back and yells at Allie for thinking this is actually about her. Allie screws everything up and couldn’t even get the right color balloons here. This celebration is for Allie’s opponent and Allie needs to lay down right now.

Knockouts Title: Maria Kanellis vs. Allie

Allie lays down and Maria is the new champion in three seconds.

Allie has to fight back tears as she announces Maria as the new champion.

Bennett tries to talk Moose into doing the right thing and hands him a pipe. Moose thinks about it.

Rosemary torments Reby but Senor Benjamin gets Maxill out. Reby tells Benjamin to prepare the field for battle.

TNA World Title: Mike Bennett vs. Lashley

Lashley is defending and this is no DQ. The champ leapfrogs Bennett and does the delayed vertical suplex but here’s Moose to offer a distraction as we take a break. Back with Bennett in control and kicking Lashley in the face. Maria hits Lashley in the head with the cast and the Knockouts Title but Lashley shrugs it off and suplexes Bennett for a breather. A torture rack (good move for Lashley) has Mike in trouble and a spinebuster makes it even worse. Maria breaks up the spear but Moose won’t give Mike the pipe. The distraction allows the spear to connect to retain the title at 10:59.

Rating: C-. This was much more storyline development than an important match, which shouldn’t be the case for a World Title match. Moose turning on Bennett this soon could be interesting but it’s not like they’ve really been a unit long enough to give this much of an impact. Bennett never felt like a threat to the title here and that’s not a good sign.

Post match Bennett yells at Moose and calls him a failed football player. Bennett slaps him in the face so Moose clotheslines Mike’s head off to end the show.

Next week: Decay goes to Cameron. That’s right: FINAL DELETION II!

Overall Rating: D+. I had forgotten how annoying it was to have the show cut back to the Hardy shenanigans every few minutes. It’s not so much the story that gets annoying (though it can) but more the fact that they’ll have something like eight segments (some very short) in two hours. You could stretch this stuff out for weeks but instead we see every few minutes and it’s really easy to get burned out.

The rest of the show was just kind of there. The X-Division Title match was your standard showcase that isn’t likely to lead anywhere, the main event was fine and…..what else really happened here? Rex and Galloway brawled, we had a nothing match between Drake and Carter (it was fine enough) and we have Maria vs. Gail set up in a match that we’ve known was coming for months. I’m not sure why we’re getting it but after all the time they’ve put into it they have to give it to us. This show wasn’t terrible but it got tiresome by the end, mainly due to the constant Hardy segments wearing me down.

Results

Matt Hardy b. Crazzy Steve – Twist of Fate

DJZ b. Mandrews, Rockstar Spud, Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Braxton Sutter – DJZ pulled down the title

Ethan Carter III b. Eli Drake – 1%er

Maria Kanellis b. Allie – Allie laid down

Lashley b. Mike Bennett – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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ECW on TNN
Date: September 1, 2000
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

After last week, I’m really not sure what to expect from this show. This promotion goes from a fun wrestling show to some insane clip show with a bunch of wrestling that wasn’t very good to set up an angle that we’ve seen before. The next pay per view is in just over a month and I have no idea we’re going to see on the way there. Let’s get to it.

We see the end of Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck advancing to the finals of the Tag Team Title tournament.

Opening sequence.

Joey and Joel are in the ring and the big arena does actually look cool. Joel does his rhyme about various escapades in each of the boroughs before Steve Corino comes out, flanked by Billy Corgan playing New York, New York on his guitar. I’m not sure how old school the Smashing Pumpkins were in 2000 but it’s better than Limp Bizkit.

Corino is the new #1 contender (What about Jerry?) and refuses to apologize for cheating to pin New Jack, Dusty Rhodes and Tommy Dreamer. He’s not going to apologize either when he pins Justin Credible. Cue Lou E. Dangerously and WHEN DID HE BECOME JUSTIN’S MANAGER? He’s not Justin’s manager? Well he certainly acts like him and that doesn’t help because this company makes no sense half the time with all the people running around doing random promos to advance the overall angles.

Lou yells about wanting to beat Corgan up and wants the title shot at Anarchy Rulz. A fight is about to break out when Justin Credible “sneaks” (read as Corino clearly looks over his shoulder to see him coming in) in and canes Corino. Corgan actually chokes Justin with the cane until Lou hits him in the back of the head with the phone. Lou says that’s a message from the Network. Ok so he works for the Network and not Justin? Really I’m not sure at this point and I don’t particularly care either.

Tag Team Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Rhino/Justin Credible vs. Sandman/Chilly Willy

The winners get Jerry Lynn/Tommy Dreamer. A table is brought in less than ten seconds in but Sandman cleans house with the cane. Rhino shrugs them off and Gores Sandman through the table for two, followed by the piledriver to advance Credible and Rhino in less than two minutes. Did Willy stop for a taco?

Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Simon and Swinger vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring

Roadkill starts fast with a powerslam on Simon but CW pulls Doring to the floor because almost every heel is part of a stable. A double Downward Spiral gets two on Doring but he grabs a double Bareback (Those names get annoying.) and makes the hot tag. Everything breaks down and Roadkill is thrown through a table, only to have Anderson hit Simon by mistake. Not that it matters as the Problem Solver puts Doring away and send Simon and Swinger to the finals.

Rating: D+. As much of a mess as most of ECW was at the end, they did have a good tag division going. Unfortunately we barely saw most of it as the matches were either clipped or had nothing on the line because of the ridiculous four month waiting period. Four weeks is a long time to not have champions but from April to September is unthinkable.

Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Tommy Dreamer/Jerry Lynn vs. Rhino/Justin Credible

Joined in progress with separate brawls in the crowd. They’re nice enough to come back to the ring with Jerry dropping Justin but having to spank Francine instead of going for the pin. The Gore takes Dreamer out and there’s a piledriver through the table. Little Spike Dudley comes in with an Acid Drop to Rhino and the cradle piledriver puts Justin away to send Dreamer/Lynn to the finals.

Rating: D. As usual, WAY too much going on to keep track of anything here and that gets annoying in a hurry. Why do so many matches have to go into the crowd in a wild brawl or have so many people interfering? Would a straight match every now and then, especially when we’re coming up on a title shot, be too much to ask for?

Tag Team Titles: Tommy Dreamer/Jerry Lynn vs. Simon and Swinger vs. Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck

The titles are vacant coming in and this is elimination rules. The Sinister Minister is the only manager present and Dreamer is in a neck brace. Tajiri, Lynn and Simon start things off with Simon sitting back while the other two start fast. Everyone tags out and the new three stare at each other for a bit.

Swinger stops to pose and gets put down by the physique-phobic Dreamer and Whipwreck. Everyone fights to the floor (of course) and Dreamer actually kicks Tajiri for a change of pace. Lynn takes Simon back inside for a bow and arrow hold. All six get inside again and it’s time for double Tarantulas with Lynn and Mikey being stretched.

They’re fine enough for stereo tornado DDT’s for stereo two’s on Simon and Swinger. Cue CW Anderson to hit Dreamer with something made of metal, setting up the Problem Solver for the elimination. The locker room comes out to watch as Tajiri mists Simon, setting up a Whippersnapper for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. This is the kind of match that I normally don’t care for but at least it gives us something. Tajiri and Whipwreck are still a new team but at least they’re a team instead of two people just thrown together for the sake of being thrown together. They’re fine as the new champions, especially since they’ll defend the titles against a strong tag division.

Everyone celebrates with the new champions.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s like they were trying to show a tournament in one night but didn’t have enough time. It was kind of confusing when they went from one round to the other and some brackets would have helped a lot. The finals being shown in full was the right move though and while I would have gone with Simon and Swinger, at least the titles aren’t vacant like they’ve been since a few weeks after Wrestlemania.

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ECW on TNN
Date: August 18, 2000
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,400
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

The big story continues to be the upcoming Tag Team Title tournament which is taking place a week from this show. You would think they could schedule it sooner but the belts have already been vacant for four months so it’s not like it really makes much of a difference at this point. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Joel and Joey are doing their thing when we cut to Rhino, who grabs Francine by the hair to show us her broken nose. Justin Credible gets in his face so Rhino says he’d be champion if he had the chance. Injuries are promised and we get no explanation for who hurt Francine, though it’s treated like something we’re supposed to know.

Jerry Lynn vs. Bilvis Wesley

Lynn is suddenly #1 contender. Actually hang on a second as the referee grabs the mic. Apparently he’s not happy with Lynn for running into him every single time he referees Jerry’s matches. There’s a bounty on Jerry so the referee might want to claim it. The referee gets dropped so here’s Rhino to Gore Jerry Lynn through a table and then leave. Jerry fights off Tom Marquez before the cradle piledriver knocks Bilvis silly. The original referee gets up though and calls a DQ for Jerry hitting him again.

The Prodigette tries to interfere and gets a piledriver of her own. I have no idea what the point of any of this was.

Tajiri vs. Psicosis

This is from Hardcore TV for reasons that aren’t entirely clear. They’re quickly on the mat with Tajiri putting on a Brock Lock but getting flipped into a cover for two. The match is clipped (Why is this happening?) to a fast sequence and a bunch of one counts. Another clip takes us to a sweet pinfall reversal sequence and a third takes us to Psicosis crashing out to the floor thanks to a missed dive.

Another clip means we see Psicosis diving over the top to take Tajiri out again. Clipped, yet again, to a baseball slide into Psicosis’ face as he’s caught in the Tree of Woe. Tajiri hits a Stunner for two and….well you know what happens by this point. Clipped again to a Psicosis getting two off a guillotine legdrop, setting up some kicks to give Tajiri the pin. WAY too much clipping here for it to be rated but what we saw was fun.

Tajiri is in Sinister Minister’s clothes as Minister talks about crossing a line. Mikey Whipwreck comes in with balloons on his hands and sounding like Chris Farley. This show makes my head hurt very badly. Thankfully Tajiri and the Minister are confused as well.

More Hardcore TV clips of Roadkill/Danny Doring/Tommy Dreamer vs. CW Anderson/Simon and Swinger. There’s more clipping here but less action as the match was cut off for a posedown, including Roadkill doing Hogan’s poses. A wild brawl broke out and the Buggy Bang puts Swinger away.

Justin Credible/Rhino vs. Kid Kash/Rob Van Dam

Apparently Francine’s nose was broken last night at a house show. Well that’s more of an explanation than I was expecting. Kash and Credible start things off and a headscissors sends the champ off to a tag to Rhino. That means it’s time for Kash’s first hurricanrana which staggers Rhino far more than it should. Rob gets the tag and fires off some kicks before Kash has to save him from a gorilla press.

Back to back dives to the floor take the villains out again and everyone is down. Justin gets in his one non-finishing move, the superkick, to take over on Kash before handing it off to Rhino to do the work. Kash finally moonsaults onto Justin to put them both down and slides over for the tag to Van Dam. That means it’s time for a chair as everything breaks down, only to have Rhino clean house again.

Van Dam kicks Rhino in the face and drops Kash into a legdrop for two. A low blow breaks up Justin’s superplex on Kash and sets up a HORRIBLY botched super hurricanrana as Justin is dropped onto his head. The Five Star gets no cover as Rob goes up again, only to get caned by Justin. The Moneymaker plants Justin and there goes the referee. Rhino piledrives Kash through a table and of course here’s Sandman because this feud just won’t end. Sandman canes Rhino a few times until Justin canes Sandman from behind. Now it’s Steve Corino coming in to superkick Rhino, setting up the Van Terminator for the pin.

Rating: D. So the big deal is that Van Dam finally pinned Rhino and it only took four people to do it. If this is the best thing ECW can come up with, then they’re in more trouble than I was thinking coming in. It’s also going to be even harder to care about Van Dam vs. Rhino on pay per view as we’ve seen it twice on free TV already but that doesn’t seem to matter to the company.

Overall Rating: D-. I’m really not sure what this show was supposed to be. We had a weird angle at the beginning, two clipped matches from another TV show and a long main event with an angle that doesn’t really mean much. We’ve got about six weeks before Anarchy Rulz and I’m really not sure what I’m supposed to be excited about. Jerry Lynn getting a World Title shot in his home state? That’s the best they’ve got? Is there any reason we’re not getting Rob Van Dam as World Champion already? Bad show this week as they’re getting more bizarre than better.

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ECW on TNN
Date: August 18, 2000
Location: War Memorial, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re coming up on the Tag Team Title tournament and it’s actually making for an interesting story. Almost everyone is involved in the tournament, setting up a bunch of mini feuds as we head into the big night. On top of that the Network seems to have split up, which means we’re ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING. Let’s get to it.

We see Simon and Swinger helping CW Anderson beat Tommy Dreamer on Hardcore TV, setting up Danny Doring and Roadkill to make the save. The heels beat them down though and planted Jazz with a Problem Solver.

Rob Van Dam says he’s fighting Rhino tonight for the first time since he broke his ankle (no) and it’s time for a beating.

Opening sequence.

Lou E. Dangerously is in the ring with Cyrus as his guest. Cyrus rants about Steve Corino turning his back on the Network and here are Corino and Anton to interrupt. Corino doesn’t get to say anything as Cyrus says Corino was just an opening match comedy act and a mark for the business.

Then Corino got over with the people (I know ECW isn’t your normal wrestling promotion but I can’t stand it when that kind of lingo is used on TV.) and thought it was all because of the blood he’s shed. Corino swears a bit as Gertner talks about sperm. This sets up a match between Corino/Anton vs. Cyrus/Lou E. And never mind as Anton turns on Corino for a SWERVE that everyone could see coming because they’re not stupid.

FBI vs. Psicosis/Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck

Tony and Mikey start things off and this is already starting to look like another wrestling show. It’s already off to Guido for an inverted Fujiwara armbar (Would that hurt?) as the heels (who seem to be popular) take over. The tag brings in Psicosis to face Big Sal, who is immediately taken down because he’s a big fat tub of goo.

Some kicks to the head knock him silly and a bunch of dives take down the Italians. Back in and some kicks to the head get two on Tony but he comes right back with a DDT. Guido scores with a clothesline but eats a Whippersnapper as this match is dying. Everything breaks down and Tajiri mists Psicosis by mistake. Guido hits a quick Kiss of Death for the pin on Tajiri.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t so much a bad match as much as it was really dull. I get that it’s designed to set up something later on but the FBI isn’t interesting as they’re no longer comedy instead of just kind of there. That’s a major problem around here: people who don’t have a purpose and are only around for the sake of being around.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Kid Kash

Justin is defending in a rematch from last week. Kash gets a quick two off a spinning sunset flip to send Justin outside for an early breather. That means a lot of swearing and censoring of something that probably isn’t worthy of swearing and censoring. Justin throws a chair at Kash who sits down in the middle of the ring. A double springboard hurricanrana sends Justin outside again, setting up a huge dive off the top. Standard Kid Kash so far.

Back in and a good looking superkick (That’s our Justin!) drops Kash. A chinlock doesn’t go anywhere so Joel asks if Joey is gay for not wanting to sleep with Francine. Kash DDT’s the champ on the chair for two and there’s the ref bump. Before I can say “get Rhino out here so Van Dam can make the save”, Rhino comes out for the beatdown on Kash and Van Dam makes the save.

That’s Incredible is broken up and Kash hits the Moneymaker but the referee is still down and likely in a coma at this point. There’s a Gore for Kash so here’s Rob for the second save, only to have Justin kick out at a very close two. Francine blasts Kash with the kendo stick and a super That’s Incredible retains the title.

Rating: D+. Who thought this needed a rematch? I’m really not a fan of either guy and all the overbooking didn’t help things. At least I can finally keep track of who wants to fight who and why they want to do it but that doesn’t mean the wrestling is anything worth seeing. The ending never being in doubt didn’t help either.

TV Title: Rhino vs. Rob Van Dam

Rhino is defending and jumps Van Dam during his long entrance. They’re quickly in the crowd with Rhino in control as Bill Alfonso won’t stop with the stupid whistle. The Gore against the barricade makes things even worse for Van Dam as this is one sided so far. They get inside for the first time with a wicked powerbomb planting Van Dam again for no cover.

Rob FINALLY scores with a stepover kick and both guys are down. Van Dam skateboards a chair into Rhino’s face and a middle rope moonsault gets two. The Van Daminator sets up the Five Star but here’s Justin to break up the cover and throw the match out because you knew this wasn’t going to end clean.

Rating: C-. Again, WHY IS THIS NOT ON PAY PER VIEW??? This should be a major showdown but instead of drawing money, we’ve seen it twice in a row for the sake of popping a rating (by ECW standards of course) and this is what we’re stuck with as a result. Oh and more Justin because we haven’t seen enough of him lately.

Kid Kash fails at a save attempt so Sandman makes the real one to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I stand by my stance that Justin Credible is just crippling this show every single week. What in the world is supposed to be interesting about him? Someone taking the title off of him? That’s fine in theory, but don’t you need someone to be interesting before beating them matters? Justin continues to be the worst part of the show and unfortunately he’s also one of the focal points. No wonder I’m so sick of this show.

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ECW on TNN
Date: August 11, 2000
Location: Huntington Civic Center, Huntington, West Virginia
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re getting close to wrapping this show up and it’s back to the country after a week down in Houston. The big story coming out of last week is an actual match being announced for the Tag Team Title tournament with Sandman/Chilly Willy vs. Rhino/Justin Credible. Of course no date has been announced for that match but I doubt ECW knows either. Let’s get to it.

Lou E. Dangerously is in the ring to insult the West Virginia fans, who pelt the ring with garbage as a result. This is a ripoff of Paul Heyman’s old Danger Zone segment. After a quick jump to the announcers for an intro, Lou brings out Steve Corino and Scotty Anton. Lou rants about the Tag Team Title tournament before Corino says he doesn’t give a CENSORED what the Network feels.

They helped win the Network its titles and have been protecting the Network since day one. Cue Justin, who Steve says would be nothing without the two of them. Corino and Credible both claim credit for Justin’s title reign lasting before Steve goes nuclear by saying Justin has a lame catchphrase. Rhino comes out and Gores Anton, leaving Corino to get double teamed. Security breaks it up. So is the Network done now? I’d be ok with that.

Opening sequence.

Corino and Anton are leaving when Lou comes up and asks what Cyrus will think. Steve doesn’t care and they leave with Jack Victory.

Justin Credible and Kid Kash get in an argument, setting up a title match for later tonight.

Roadkill/Danny Doring vs. Tom Marquez/Bilvis Wesley

Marquez stupidly thinks he can slam Roadkill to start, which pretty much sums up the whole match. A Vader Bomb elbow sets up a Hart Attack as Joey and Joel make Elvis jokes. We get a quick chase around the ring until Marquez catches Doring with a spinwheel kick. Wesley puts on a Muta Lock of all things and Doring stays in trouble thanks to some double teaming.

Doring finally hits a Stroke (the G Spot Sweet because we’re in ECW) and the hot tag brings in Roadkill. You really can hear a pop when Roadkill comes in and that needs to be noticed. I know he’s not your typical ECW guy but the fans dig him and that’s important. Everything breaks down and the Buggy Bang (wheelbarrow slam/guillotine legdrop) ends Marquez.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of thing you don’t get enough of around here: a basic tag match with the bigger team going over but only after taking a beating. It’s nothing great or anything but it was wrestling instead of brawling and that really needs to happen more often. Roadkill and Doring are a good act and hopefully they go somewhere in the tournament.

Sinister Minister tries to teach Tajiri about temptation with a good looking woman. She winds up getting mist in the face and you can figure out the joke yourself. You could see her face before the mist but as soon as it hits, her face is a mosaic. Ok then.

Joey is aghast.

CW Anderson gives Simon and Swinger a pep talk.

We see CW Anderson laying out Jazz and insulting women’s wrestling. Tommy Dreamer made the save.

Tajiri vs. EZ Money

They hit the mat for some very fast covers (minus near falls) and it’s a standoff for some applause. When did this become a wrestling show? Money’s friend Chris Hamrick breaks up the Tarantula and a standing moonsault gets two on Tajiri. Another distraction lets Money’s other friend Julio Fantastico (Matt Tastic’s American cousin?) sneak in for a double wheelbarrow suplex. It’s time for a chair but Tajiri reverses a powerbomb into a tornado DDT. The Buzzsaw Kick is enough to put Money away.

Rating: C. Another simple wrestling match here with the bigger name overcoming the heel stable (there are WAY too many of those running around). It’s weird seeing Money lose so often when he was on a big winning streak in the dying days of WCW. He wasn’t anything great but there was something there.

The trio goes after Tajiri but he beats up all three losers without much effort. Cue the FBI (See what I mean about the heel stables?) for the real beatdown but Mikey Whipwreck comes out with a flaming 2×4 for the save.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Kid Kash

Kash is challenging and I’ll set his over/under on hurricanranas at five. It’s a pose off to start as Gertner makes sex jokes about Francine. They fight over a hammerlock until Kash gets in a clothesline to put the champ outside. A springboard dive (now that’s more like it Kash) takes Justin down again and another dive, which we can’t see, knocks Justin into the crowd.

Back in and Justin scores with a superkick but that’s enough wrestling so let’s have a chair. Kash is sent face first into said chair and it’s time for Justin to talk some trash on the mic. For the life of me I still don’t get the appeal of this guy. The champ crotches himself on the post as the announcers try to figure out how they can like Corino now that he turned on the Network.

Francine’s interference fails as she hits Justin with a metal sheet by mistake and Kash gets in his first hurricanrana. Francine tries to interfere again (giving us the required g-string shot)….and here’s Rhino to Gore Kash for the DQ/no contest since DQ’s aren’t a thing around here most of the time.

Rating: D+. Justin isn’t interesting and I’m running out of ways to say that. He’s a catchphrase, a Tombstone and weapon shots. Oh and an occasional superkick. I have no idea why he had the title as long as he did (sixth longest reign with the original title) and I have no idea what Heyman saw in him but he’s been stale for a long time.

Rob Van Dam (Kash’s partner in the tournament) makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I…..liked this? Somehow I think I did and it’s for a few very simple reasons. This show was focused on wrestling with only the main event featuring weapons actually being used. On top of that there’s the big story of the Tag Team Title tournament coming up to really tie the show together. It’s almost like this was a well put together show and that’s a good thing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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ECW on TNN
Date: August 4, 2000
Location: Astro Arena Pavilion, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re getting close to the end here with just ten episodes left in the series. Unfortunately things were picking up a little bit around this point as some of the stories FINALLY started moving forward. There are still about two months to go before Anarchy Rulz so we’re still weeks away from setting up the show’s card. Let’s get to it.

We open with the last thirty seconds of Rhino Goring Nova to retain the TV Title. Ok then.

Opening sequence.

After Joel talks about being with a stripper named Alexis in his Lexus here in Houston, Texas, here’s Cyrus to do the same thing these two always do. Cyrus brings up the attack at Heat Wave which was an assault because Cyrus isn’t a wrestler. Tonight though, he has a wrestling license and is ready to fight Gertner one on one. This brings out Spike Dudley in a suit jacket but Cyrus isn’t impressed. The announcers leave as Spike says Heyman isn’t here tonight because he’s busy in Los Angeles. Therefore, Spike is the booker tonight and he has an idea. Here’s our opening match.

Cyrus vs. Sandman

A single cane shot brings in Rhino and yeah this isn’t a match.

Justin Credible comes in and Tombstones Sandman, drawing Spike back in to take a beating of his own. Spike takes a piledriver off the apron and through a table, leaving Sandman to take a double beating. Chilly Willy comes out for the save and gives Cyrus a falcon arrow.

Little Guido vs. Mikey Whipwreck

They trade chops in the corner to start with Mikey hammering away in the corner before slamming Guido’s head onto the mat. Mikey has to avoid Sal to send him into the post before getting two off a superplex. Another distraction lets Tony Mamaluke come in for a double Russian legsweep from the middle rope for two on Mikey. At least he can competently cheat. Mikey’s running DDT changes momentum again and there’s the Whippersnapper, only to have Sal distract the referee. Mamaluke drops a top rope leg to break up the cover and chairs Mikey in the head. The Kiss of Death puts Mikey away.

Rating: C. Not the worst here as Mikey is still very underrated despite being a Triple Crown Champion. It’s nice to see them actually doing something with Mikey after all these vignettes but the FBI are only so interesting. At least they’re letting the talented one do the wrestling instead of Sal and his freak show “abilities.”

Post match the FBI goes after Mikey, only to have Tajiri of all people come out for the save.

Earlier tonight, Kid Kash gave Rob Van Dam something close to a sweat. As in as close as you can get with hurricanrana after hurricanrana with an occasional dive thrown in.

This episode is dedicated to Gordon Solie. Nothing wrong with that.

Tajiri vs. Steve Corino vs. Jerry Lynn

Corino is sent to the floor early and we get a very fast near fall sequence from Corino and Lynn. A Tarantula has Lynn in even more trouble until Corino makes the save. Tajiri is sent outside for some double teaming from Victory and Corino, only to have Lynn dive onto both of them for the huge crash. Back in and Corino takes the mist, only to have Lynn cradle piledrive Tajiri for the elimination. Thanks to Victory washing his eyes out, Corino does Dusty Rhodes’ Bionic Elbow dance and gets two off a sitout powerbomb.

Jerry starts the one on one portion with a belly to back before a few rollups get a few near falls each. Corino gets crotched on the top but Lou E. Dangerously (He manages Corino right?) slips in the phone so Steve can knock Lynn silly for two. Cue Scotty Anton to snap Jerry’s neck across the top rope so Corino can hit the Old School Expulsion (reverse Twist of Fate) for the pin.

Rating: C. Not the worst match in the world here as they let the wrestlers wrestle. That being said, I’m still not a fan of having the third man get eliminated in the first few minutes so they can do a singles match without doing a singles match. It doesn’t help that I’ve lost track of who is on who’s side in this huge stable war. You know, assuming ECW is considered a stable of course.

The beatdown is on but Tommy Dreamer comes out and we’ve got a main event.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Scotty Anton

Well kind of as Victory beats on Jazz in the ring as Dreamer and Anton fight in the crowd. The people actually in the match come back to ringside with Dreamer beating on Anton until Scotty sends him into a ladder. Why is there a ladder there? Not important of course. Dreamer is busted open but is still able to send Anton into the ladder in the corner.

A superplex off the ladder (which was laid over the middle rope so that didn’t add much) drops Anton and it’s time to bridge the ladder over two chairs. Naturally it’s Dreamer being suplexed onto the ladder, which is horribly bent. The Clapper goes on so Jazz chairs Anton in the head. Dreamer drops an elbow onto a chair onto Anton’s face for the pin.

Rating: D+. Remember all those times I’ve told you that Scotty Anton isn’t very good and has no business being on these shows? That’s still the case, as this really wasn’t much to see. Dreamer doing tremendous harm to his body is entertaining enough but how many times can I see it before it loses its interest?

Cyrus makes Rhino/Justin Credible vs. Sandman/Chilly Willy for the first round of the Tag Team Title tournament. Justin says no way but Rhino promises to make him do it. Francine drags him away and Rhino rants a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Some stuff happened, the wrestling wasn’t great, the angles didn’t really change and we have a single match announced for next week. In other words, it’s your run of the mill ECW on TNN and that’s not the most interesting show in the world. This could have been much worse but the same problems are still here: nothing happens. When is the last time you remember something interesting happening on this show? I can’t remember it and that’s a big reason why this show didn’t last long.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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A column about the last five minutes of Raw.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-the-kevin-owens-and-triple-h-and-seth-rollins-and-roman-reigns-show/

Cruiserweight Classic
Date: August 31, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Daniel Bryan, Mauro Ranallo

The quarterfinals begin tonight with eight participants left as we head towards the finale in two weeks. Therefore we’ll probably see two matches tonight and two more next week which means longer wrestling and more action. There’s always the chance of some bonus matches but this seems like a show that’s going to stick to the lone concept. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look at the Great Eight.

Bryan and Mauro talk about the tournament so far.

Corey Graves previews tonight’s matches.

Gran Metalik thinks he’s the best around and wants to prove it in WWE.

Akira Tozawa knows he’s the best here and can’t wait to show it.

Quarterfinals: Gran Metalik vs. Akira Tozawa

Mexico vs. Japan. Bryan keeps raving over Tozawa’s German suplex as they hit the mat for some alternating leg holds. Tozawa doesn’t offer a clean break as he kicks Metalik in the ribs, only to get armdragged down. Metalik comes back with a dropkick against the ropes as the fans stay into him.

We get the first of likely multiple suicide dives to put Tozawa against the barricade before it’s off to something like a Figure Four. Back up and Tozawa starts with the kicks, earning himself some chants in the process. As you might expect, Tozawa hits his own suicide dive because that’s required viewing in a cruiserweight match.

Back in again and they chop it out until Tozawa gets bored and just punches Metalik in the jaw. Well mask but you get the idea. Metalik blasts him with a superkick and a standing shooting star (getting a bit too common as well) gets two. The Metalik Driver is countered into a Saito suplex for two more and Tozawa is stunned.

Tozawa charges into a superkick which just makes him scream more so Metalik sends him outside for the springboard flip dive. Back in again and Tozawa takes him up top for a superplex, only to get reversed into a great looking hurricanrana. The fans would like them to fight forever and Tozawa hits his German suplex for two. Metalik fights out of another German suplex and hits the Metalik Driver for the pin at 15:48.

Rating: B+. If there’s one thing I love about this tournament (and there are several) it’s how many different match styles they can have. You can have people flying all over the place or working on the mat as fast as anyone in the world or you can have a match like this with two guys both working their own styles but making them mesh together so well that it gives us an entertaining match.

They shake hands post match.

Bryan says he won’t be impartial in the next match.

Brian Kendrick knows this might be his last shot.

Kota Ibushi is one of the best in the world and wants to win because he loves wrestling.

Quarterfinals: Brian Kendrick vs. Japan

USA vs. Japan. Kendrick invites him to the floor which isn’t a common strategy in this tournament. Ibushi doesn’t bite but he does kick Kendrick in the head and hits a big dive to take over. Kota misses a kick though and gets his foot caught in the barricade so Kendrick dives in to try for a countout. They’re doing a good job here of having Kendrick win any way he can against the younger and more talented Ibushi.

More kicks have Kendrick in trouble so he grabs a neckbreaker across the turnbuckle rod for a unique counter. Brian grabs a cravate to stay on the bad (and surgically repaired) neck, only to eat a dropkick to put both guys down. A middle rope moonsault gets two for Ibushi but Kendrick superkicks his head off to get them back to even. Sliced Bread #2 gets another near fall for Kendrick so Ibushi gives him a release German superplex from just off the corner to knock Brian silly.

Kendrick tries the Bully Choke but Ibushi turns to the side to make it a regular chinlock. A Burning Hammer of all things makes Ibushi’s neck even worse, though not enough to put him away. Ibushi misses a middle rope Phoenix splash and another Bully Choke has Ibushi in trouble. He breaks the hold with a rollup though and the Golden Star Bomb finally ends Brian’s run at 13:57.

Rating: B. I thought the first match was more entertaining but this one told a better story. This was all about Kendrick throwing everything he had at Ibushi but not being able to put him away and eventually falling to the better man. The neck injury was a good bonus to the story and gave Brian enough of an opening to make this interesting. The storytelling was carrying this and it was very entertaining as a result. Good stuff here and Kendrick continues to surprise me in this thing.

Daniel cries as he talks about Brian’s run being over.

After the preview for next week’s show, Daniel comes to the ring to hug Kendrick to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. As is so often the case, I’m not sure what else you could want from this show every week. The wrestling, the storytelling and the action are all there, along with some emotion this week from Brian and Bryan. The final could wind up being a match of the year candidate in case we haven’t had enough greatness in the preliminaries. If you’re not watching this show, I don’t know what else you’re waiting for as it’s one of the best things every single week.

Results

Gran Metalik b. Akira Tozawa – Metalik Driver

Kota Ibushi b. Brian Kendrick – Gold Star Bomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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NXT
Date: August 31, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves

The champ is back tonight as Shinsuke Nakamura makes his first appearance on NXT since winning the NXT Title in Brooklyn. I mean, that was only eleven days ago but NXT is making it seem like a big deal. It should be interesting to see who comes out to challenge him for the title, though odds are it’s Samoa Joe for a rematch. Let’s get to it.

Earlier today, Samoa Joe was deemed unclear to wrestle due to injuries suffered in Brooklyn. William Regal looks annoyed.

Opening sequence.

Tye Dillinger vs. Buddy Murphy

Murphy is deemed a one by the fans. Back in my day, being number one was a good thing. Tye gets him to the mat in a hammerlock but gets thrown away, meaning Blake can give himself a ten. Back up and Dillinger does his spinout into a cartwheel for the real ten. Graves: “That would get you disqualified from any gymnastics competition.”

The lame wrestling goes back and forth with Murphy sending him outside as we go to a break. That’s probably the good thing as this is a very simple match and there’s nothing that’s working especially well save for the TEN thing. Back with Dillinger making his comeback off a clothesline and a backdrop. Some TEN stomps in the corner set up the Tyebreaker for the pin at 9:46.

Rating: C-. This is a good example of the crowd carrying a match higher than it should have gone otherwise. Dillinger’s gimmick is way over but his in ring work isn’t the greatest. It’s an interesting change of pace from the Murphy vs. Ibushi match from a few weeks ago which was far more entertaining with Ibushi having more than one thing to carry him. Dillinger is more than worth investing in due to being so over but he needs some work. There’s potential in Murphy too, albeit with some adjustments.

We look back at the Tag Team Title match in Brooklyn and Johnny Gargano’s knee injury costing him in the Cruiserweight Classic.

Tommaso Ciampa says Gargano will be back soon when the Revival comes in and beats him into the arena. They take the beating into the ring and leave Ciampa laying. Wilder says everyone sounds tough until reality hits them in the mouth. Ciampa tries to get up but takes a good looking Shatter Machine.

Steve Cutler wants attention and demands respect. Dang the cupboard really is bare.

Steve Cutler vs. Kenneth Crawford

Crawford is a generic looking guy who Graves says is well dressed backstage. Cutler works on the arm to start but Kenneth flips his way out of a backdrop (didn’t stick the landing but he tried) and grabs an armbar of his own. Some good looking dropkicks and a running shooting star get two on Cutler but he walks into a spinning fisherman’s driver (as in a fisherman’s suplex into a sitout slam) to give Steve the pin at 3:38.

Rating: C-. Crawford did some good looking stuff but neither guy was anything special here. Pushing Cutler (and by pushing I mean setting up to be fed to someone else) isn’t the most horrible idea in the world as people already know him from all those jobs over the years and it’s not like he can’t just go back to being a jobber after this is done. It’s better to give someone some value and then take it away than take away value from someone who you’ve invested a lot of time in.

Hideo Itami says he kicked Austin Aries in the head at Takeover but Aries disappointed him by claiming an injury. If he doesn’t want to feel pain, get out of the ring.

Video on Sami Zayn vs. Nakamura back in Dallas.

Video on TM61.

No Way Jose vs. Angelo Dawkins

Jose dances around and grabs a headlock to start as Dawkins gets a few chants of his own. Dawkins’ chinlock doesn’t go anywhere so it’s the baseball punch and a full nelson slam (looked more like a cobra clutch this time) to give Jose the pin at 2:43.

Aries, banana in hand (Dig that potassium replenishing!), interrupts Andrade Cien Almas’ interview time, saying everyone is trying to steal his spotlight. Since Almas lost, Aries will just take his interview time. A challenge is issued for next week.

Video on Nakamura vs. Finn Balor.

Liv Morgan vs. Aliyah

Aliyah looks a bit more serious this time and kicks Morgan in the ribs. Some knees to the chest have Morgan in more trouble and Aliyah puts on a freaky hold where she cranks on Liv’s arm and holds her head down with a leg. Morgan pops back up and tries a kind of spinning kick close enough to the head for the pin at 3:21. There was a hard edit in there so it was probably worse than it looked.

Rating: D-. If this is the future of the women’s division, they’ve got a long way to go. Aliyah showed some fire but Morgan was a pretty bad mess. Her offense required an edit and consisted of two moves in about three and a half minutes. Also I’m really not sure how strong of a character I’M FROM NEW JERSEY is or how long of a life span it’s going to have.

No Way Jose is fired up about his win and says he has the heart to go with the hair. Bobby Roode comes up, compliments Jose’s head, and walks away.

Video on Nakamura vs. Joe.

Here’s Nakamura for his celebration and the dancing entrance looks even cooler with the title around his waist. The YOU DESERVE IT chants start up until Nakamura starts talking about being in Japan and wanting to face the best competition in the world. That meant he had to come to NXT where he beat Sami Zayn, Finn Balor and Samoa Joe. He’s still in a lot of pain but he became the NXT Champion. The Joe Era is over and it’s now the Era of Strong Style. Nakamura kind of barks and poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show was about setting up stuff for the future as we’re firmly in the fallout period from Takeover and have a long way to go before the next one. Stuff like Almas vs. Aries and Asuka coming back next week are great ways to build week to week and keep you coming back long enough to let the big stories develop. It’s about making something seem important enough that you want to watch the hour of TV to see it and then get you ready for the big stuff. That’s such a simple strategy and NXT makes it work as well as anyone has in a long time.

Results

Tye Dillinger b. Wesley Blake – Tyebreaker

Steve Cutler b. Kenneth Crawford – Fisherman’s driver

No Way Jose b. Angelo Dawkins – Full nelson slam

Liv Morgan b. Aliyah – Spinning kick to the face

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 1, 2002
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for the first show of a new generation as Ric Flair is officially in charge of Raw with a roster all its own. I’m really not sure what to expect here as almost all of the stories are restarting, save for Kane vs. the NWO for reasons that I don’t want to understand. Oh and Raven won the Hardcore Title to bring that “division” to Raw. Let’s get to it.

Ric Flair joins us with the new WWF Undisputed Title and promises to make everything new. That includes signing Steve Austin to a new contract, which is indeed new and not someone we’ve seen for years who is way past his prime.

Opening sequence, including the debut of Across the Nation. I always liked that one.

We’ll see Kane vs. someone apparently named X-Pac. I say apparently because he doesn’t have a graphic.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T.

Van Dam is defending and the big idea here is that we’re starting with a match. You know, aside from that promo that started the show. A hurricanrana puts Booker down to start and my goodness Van Dam is over. As usual, anything that lets the fans participate (such as the finger point) is almost a guaranteed way to get fans behind you.

Booker forearms him down and puts on two chinlocks less than four minutes in. You don’t often see Booker being that lazy and it’s rather surprising. Van Dam comes back with the usual but misses Rolling Thunder. The Spinarooni gets a huge pop and Booker nails a superkick, only to have JR distract me by saying “he’s not Buckwheat on crack.” There’s a line you would never hear today. Booker’s superplex is broken up and the Five Star retains the title.

Rating: C. Just a basic wrestling match here which isn’t exactly a rousing start to the new era. I like the idea of starting the show with wrestling and the match was fine but nothing we haven’t seen before. Van Dam always felt like the guy you put the title on so someone bigger can take it off him and Booker isn’t that person.

Post match Eddie Guerrero runs out for his return and beats Van Dam down. Now that makes things feel more important.

Here’s Vince McMahon as the Brand Split is already feeling unimportant. He’s here to sign Austin but let’s go to a break before Steve comes out. Back with security around the ring Lawler: “What are they out here for?” JR: “Security reasons.” Here’s Ric Flair to threaten to throw Vince out, arguing ensues and time is wasted until Ric sends out Big Show to carry Vince to the back. This took up WAY too much time and accomplished nothing.

During the break, Show literally threw Vince out of the arena.

William Regal vs. Spike Dudley

Regal’s European Title isn’t on the line. The evil referee takes away Regal’s hidden brass knuckles to start but Regal beats Spike into the ground anyway, including a sweet diving drop toehold. A half nelson suplex sends Spike outside as the announcers discussing folding similies. Spike comes back with some headbutts to the ribs and a quick Dudley Dog for the fluke pin.

Rating: D. I’m assuming this sets up a rematch for the title next week though just having Spike pin Regal doesn’t have me the most interested in them fighting for the title. Then again there’s very little that’s going to make me care about the European Title in the first place so they didn’t have the best chances in the world.

The NWO takes over the APA’s office, which has been moved from Smackdown to Raw despite the team being split up. Even the trash and table are in the same state after the brawl.

Post break, Crash tells Bradshaw what the NWO did. Bradshaw goes off to take care of it and Crash chuckles.

Terri yells at Trish for being all snooty now that she’s on the cover of the Divas Magazine. Flair comes up and makes a paddle on a pole match.

Debra won’t let Coach into Austin’s dressing room.

The NWO spray paints the APA’s door and beats up Bradshaw, who comes through the door like a gentleman, without much effort.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Bubba is challenging and they get right to the weapons, drawing the required ECW chants. Some elbows have Raven in trouble and it’s time to throw oranges (JR: “Not the citrus.”) at the champ, but not before Bubba does some juggling. Back in and Raven grabs a sleeper in a hardcore match so the announcers talk about the upcoming paddle match. A trashcan lid to the head puts Raven down for the middle rope backsplash and IT ACTUALLY HITS. Bubba looks stunned for a second before covering for two. The Bubba Bomb gives him the title a few seconds later.

Rating: D. So that’s the start of Bubba’s face run and I actually bought into it at the time. Looking back it might not be the best idea in the world but at least they’re trying to make new stars with Bubba and Bradshaw. As I typed that, the reality set in all over again and it’s clear that this was destined to fail but at least they were trying.

Vince is still in the parking lot (with a camera in his limo for no logical reason) and says he’s sent someone to get Austin for the signing.

Here’s Flair to present HHH with the new title. Flair praises HHH for his comeback but gets cut off by the Undertaker, who says Flair drafted him here to embarrass him. Undertaker brings up beating Flair at Wrestlemania XVIII. The fans keep up the WHAT’S so Undertaker it says if you keep saying WHAT you sleep with your own sister.

Back on point, Undertaker says he beat HHH the same way at the previous Wrestlemania so it sounds like Flair is trying to show him up. Violence is teased but here’s HHH to be the big hero. At least we get one last look at the awesome Attitude Era title. HHH, in that slow voice that only he can do, says he’s the Undisputed WWF Champion and that big belt says Undertaker can’t beat him again. A match is made for Backlash and Undertaker isn’t interested in fighting before then.

Hardy Boyz vs. Boss Man/Mr. Perfect

I guess Wrestlemania VII is all forgiven. Apparently the solution to Boss Man being the same character who hasn’t been over in years is to get rid of the “big”. A way too early Twist of Fate is broken up and Matt is in trouble. The veterans start taking over as JR sounds miserable talking about the upcoming women’s match. As is almost always the case in these TV matches, the beating only lasts for a few moments before the tag brings in Jeff. The Twist of Fate and Swanton are enough for the quick pin.

Rating: D+. So you know how the Hardys are one of the best tag teams of all time? Well they still are and they’re capable of beating a makeshift team who had only teamed together a few times before this. Boss Man and Perfect aren’t the most interesting guys in the world at this point and neither would be around much longer.

Post match Brock Lesnar comes out and destroys the Hardys to set up his first feud.

Terri vs. Trish Stratus

Paddle on a pole and they’re in bikinis. Thong jokes are made, puppies are requested and a bulldog allows Trish to get the paddle in just over a minute.

Before the paddling can occur, Molly Holly comes out and destroys Trish to give her a real match. Trish gets the paddle broken over her head to make it serious.

Vince promises he’ll get this done tonight. Like he promised last week was his last night on Raw.

Austin is here and tells Flair to let Vince inside so they can handle this after the main event.

We look at Kane’s amazing promo with Rock and Hogan. Rock being confused by Kaneannites is still great stuff.

Kane vs. X-Pac

X-Pac has Hall and Nash at ringside but Kane beats him up to start. Some kicks send Kane outside though Hall pulling the ropes down might have helped too. Nash adds in a big boot and X-Pac does his spinning heel kick, only to be launched out to the floor. Back in and the Bronco Buster has gets no reaction so Kane powerslams him for no cover. Kane finally has enough of the interference and punches Hall in the face, drawing the Outsiders in for the DQ.

Rating: D. I’ve been watching some Raw’s from 1996 lately and it’s amazing how different X-Pac became in the years since then. There was no fire here and it was a bunch of greatest hits, or as great as X-Pac ever got. I have no idea who thought Kane vs. the NWO was going to be entertaining and so far they’re being proven wrong.

Bradshaw comes in for the save and house is cleaned. For some reason Kane’s pyro fails, meaning two things had no heat here.

Here’s Flair for the Austin contract pitch. Before he can get very far, here’s Vince (JR: “No one walks like that.”) to say his intellectual sperm (Vince: “Yes I said intellectual sperm.”) that brought us here today. Vince takes credit for pay per view and growing the WWF to an international level. He also knew the Ringmaster wasn’t going to cut it and invented the Stone Cold character. This brings out Austin to ask Vince about the contract and play the WHAT game for a bit.

Austin reminds Vince of their history together and does some WHATing with Flair too. Austin asks if Vince had a chance to see this and flips him off. He’s intrigued by both offers because of both men’s success and agrees to sign with Smackdown. Austin tells Flair it was just business and asks where he signs. Before he does, there’s one more thing: April Fools. Vince gets a Stunner and Flair freaks out. Beer is served and Flair gets a Stunner of his own, followed by Steve signing with Raw to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This Brand Split is in trouble early and there’s really no way around it. Raw has almost nothing going for it with the highlight of Austin who clearly isn’t all that fired up to be here. Most of the young talent is over on Smackdown and everyone knows it but Raw is the flagship and gets all the attention. There’s very little to talk about here and it wasn’t an entertaining night, which is hardly how you want to start things off.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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