Smackdown Date: March 28, 2002
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 13,600
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
With the Draft out of the way, this is the final regular episode of Smackdown with the full roster before things split up next week. That means it’s also the last chance for the wrestlers to make one last good impression against their interpromotional rivals. In other words it’s a lame duck show that they’re trying to pass off as something important. Let’s get to it.
Booker T. vs. Diamond Dallas Page
Of course this show starts with two guys from WCW. Fallout from Monday’s tag match. Booker stomps him into the corner to start so Page chops away. The Draft picks start running along the bottom as Page hits a helicopter bomb for two. Not that it matters as Brock Lesnar comes in to take out Page for the DQ.
Here’s Kurt Angle with something to say but we have to wait on the YOU SUCK WHAT chants because that’s how wrestling fans like their comedy. Angle thinks the people are pathetic, but not as pathetic as what happened to Stephanie on Raw. Kurt would like a special moment of silence and you can imagine his reaction when he’s booed out of the building. This brings out Vince to insult the fans and talk about HHH being the kind of model citizen that seduced and then humiliated his daughter. Then on Monday he beat her up!
Vince promises to take care of HHH and here’s the champ so Vince can make threats to his face. HHH promises to make Vince’s life miserable if Vince screws with him but decides Kurt is right: we should honor Stephanie, perhaps by looking at the end of Raw. That’s enough to make Kurt want a match against HHH tonight but Vince has a better idea: the two of them against HHH. This brings out Ric Flair to make it a tag match.
D-Von gives Bubba some exposition about the team splitting up if they don’t win the titles tonight.
Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Billy and Chuck
Billy and Chuck are defending and if the Dudleys lose they’re split up. On the other hand, if Billy and Chuck lose then they stay together, in theory at least. The questions I’ll never have answered. Bubba and Chuck start things off with Chuck being sent into the corner for some loud chops to the chest. D-Von comes in for some shoulders to Billy and it’s back to Bubba for some house cleaning. The Bubba Bomb gets two on Chuck and Rico offers a quick distraction, only to have the Doomsday Device plant Chuck. Rico’s second distraction works though and leaves Bubba to hit a Fameasser to retain the titles.
Rating: D+. So that’s it for the Dudleys in one of the most questionable moves I’ve seen in a long time. I get the idea of splitting up Edge and Christian and maybe the Hardys but who thought Bubba and D-Von could survive on their own? For the life of me I still don’t get the thinking behind that one and it’s yet another casualty of the Draft.
Bubba and D-Von destroy the champs with all the usual stuff one more time. There has to be a joke about Billy taking What’s Up. I don’t know if he had it coming in but Bubba’s eye (as in the eyeball itself) is full of blood. That’s quite the scary look.
The APA is splitting up and aren’t happy about it. Since it’s their last night together, they’re going to have a farewell bash. Tajiri is in charge of telling everyone and Torrie Wilson is in charge of playing strip poker.
Matt and Lita (interviewed by Lillian Garcia, who actually looked much better in her 40s) are so happy that they’re on the same show. Chris Jericho comes up and says no one should be happy since he can’t be champion again. Matt calls him a has been and gets jumped, likely setting up something for later tonight.
The Rock and Hogan call each other brother before talking about whether or not they can trust Kane in their six man tag tonight. Rock imitates King Kong Bundy and Kamala in a way to say yes. Dang it I was hoping for some more of those as there are multiple other Hogan monsters he could have done.
Anyway, Kane comes in and says it doesn’t matter if Rock is ready. In the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen from Kane (and that’s covering A LOT), he does an amazing Hogan-style promo, saying it doesn’t matter if it’s 20,000 Hulkamaniacs, 20,000 of the millions or 20,000 screaming Kaneannites (Rock: “Kaneannites?”) because the three of them are going to run wild on the NWO. He even does the posing and the hand to his ear with the fans absolutely losing their minds over this. This was HILARIOUS with Rock looking somewhere between amazed, terrified and stunned.
Hulk Hogan/The Rock/Kane vs. NWO
Apparently Flair drafted the NWO so he could “keep an eye on the poison.” Wouldn’t it be smarter to get rid of the poison? Rock and X-Pac get things going with X-Pac in early trouble before it’s off to Hall. The bad guys (as in the team with the Bad Guy) take over with Nash hitting the knees in the corner but Rock shrugs them off and tags in Hogan. I know he’s considered lazy but he can do a hot tag like almost no one ever.
Nash gets in a side slam (no hair flip yet) and Hogan gets beaten down. Wait so Kane is getting the house cleaning spot? That’s an odd choice but I’m willing to go with it due to that pre-match promo alone. A belly to back suplex breaks up Hall’s sleeper and the real hot tag brings in Kane. The Fake Diesel hits the real Diesel as everything breaks down. Well most of it does at least as Hogan is just standing on the apron while his partners fight 3-2. It turns out fine though as Kane chokeslams X-Pac for the pin.
Rating: C+. This would have been a good house show main event and there’s nothing wrong with that. Hogan was looking energetic here (believe that one if you want to) and X-Pac was the only one with any kind of fire on his team. I know he gets a lot of flack for good reason but when X-Pac had his head on straight, he was one of the better workers on the roster. Did the NWO ever actually win a major match? They debuted at No Way Out, won a few TV matches and then lost both Wrestlemania matches. What a great stable.
Matt Hardy vs. Chris Jericho
They start fast, likely due to a lack of time. Matt sends him into the corner to start but gets crotched on top to slow him down again. Cue Lita for a top rope hurricanrana, setting up the Twist of Fate for two. Lita gets knocked off the apron and a low blow sets up the Walls to make Matt tap. Nothing match.
Jericho puts Lita in the Walls on the floor.
The APA party is going on and Torrie takes off a belly chain for her stripping. Christian freaks out over losing and destroys stuff.
Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Test
Van Dam is defending and gets dropped throat first across the top rope to start. A full nelson slam gets two on Van Dam as Lawler tries to figure out which brand has better looking women. Test grabs the ropes to avoid a sunset flip but we get the referee kicking his arms spot to give Rob a near fall. That earns Earl Hebner a good talking to so he does a fast count on Van Dam’s sunset flip to retain the title. Ok then.
Raven doesn’t care who he’s wrestling for because he’s destroying the things he loves.
Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Maven
Maven is defending and I forgot how much I liked his theme. Raven starts fast with the alternating trashcan lid shots to the head. Maven loses his balance on the ropes but gets two off a missile dropkick anyway. Here’s Tommy Dreamer to try to win the title but the distraction lets Raven grab the Raven Effect for the pin and the title, which now moves to Raw.
Angle tells Vince that he’ll help get Austin to Smackdown.
We look over the Draft lottery results, almost none of which are worth mentioning.
William Regal crashes the party to say the APA is out of business. A fight breaks out because it wouldn’t be right otherwise. Bradshaw puts up the “sorry, we’re closed” sign and they go their separate ways to what sounds like a standing ovation.
HHH/Ric Flair vs. Kurt Angle/Vince McMahon
Flair is in business pants. Vince and HHH start things off and I won’t even bother explaining why Angle and Flair come in a few seconds later. Kurt takes him into the corner to start and gets a thumb in the eye before it’s off to HHH. A quick belly to belly sends the champ flying but Flair comes back in with a sleeper. Kurt starts working on the knee and of course Vince is willing to get involved. Cole tries to explain the reason behind the Brand Split and it’s really getting worse with every word he says.
A few wraps around the post have the leg in trouble but there’s no way he’s going to get Flair in a Figure Four. I mean, he’s not Shawn or anything. Flair kicks Kurt low but the Figure Four is reversed into an ankle lock. Now Vince can get in the Figure Four, only to have Ric turn it over in a hurry. Angle is smart enough to make a very fast save before it’s off to the guys under 50. A spinebuster gets two on Kurt, only to have Vince hit HHH in the face with a belt for two. Flair actually hits the top rope shot to Vince’s head and goes for the real Figure Four but here’s Undertaker to lay Ric out and give Vince the pin.
Rating: D. Much like almost anything else HHH did around this time, this was slow, not very good, and could have been done better in less time. Vince pinning Flair doesn’t mean much and it’s not like Undertaker is going after anyone other than Ric, so this was pretty much the definition of “well, here’s a main event”.
Overall Rating: D. Hulk Hogan just had the runaway match of the night in 2002. This was a big commercial for the Brand Split as none of this matters (including a new Hardcore Champion) heading into the new WWF. Since there are almost no storylines here, everything other than Kane vs. the NWO and everything in the main event was filler. That’s not the way to make an interesting show but at least a lot of the matches were short.
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Ring of Honor TV – August 24, 2016: A Star Is Drawn
Ring of Honor Date: August 24, 2016
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 850
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Kevin Kelly
We’re past Death Before Dishonor but given the screwy taping schedule around here, it could be weeks before we actually get around to the next ongoing TV show. The big story at the moment is Adam Cole winning the ROH World Title without any help, ushering in the Bullet Club as the top group in the promotion. Let’s get to it.
Jonathan Gresham vs. Hangman Page
Page spits on his hand before the opening handshake. Gresham, a bit disgusted, starts fast with a dropkick to send Page outside. That means a tease of a dive but Page catches the real thing in a fireman’s carry and LAUNCHES HIM HEAD FIRST INTO THE POST. The loud thud made it far worse and we take a much needed early break.
Back with Page getting two off a suplex but Jonathan starts in on the arm to get a breather. A dragon suplex doesn’t work so Gresham settles for a German suplex and a near fall instead. That means it’s time for a Crossface, only to have Page easily power his way out and kick Jonathan to the floor. The Rite of Passage puts Gresham away at 6:55.
Rating: C. This was fine as Page is really surprising me since his latest heel turn. It’s really annoying watching a team just add members who go nowhere so thankfully Page is actually making something out of this. Normally I’d talk about his huge win over Jay Briscoe at Death Before Dishonor but we can’t go there yet since this show’s schedule is all over the place.
The Cabinet is ready to beat up Dalton Castle and the Boys next week.
Video on Shane Taylor/Keith Lee vs. War Machine before their match next week.
The Young Bucks are ready for their World Tag Team Title shot next week and superkick the cameraman for no apparent reason.
Kamaitachi vs. Stuka Jr.
Stuka is from CMLL and flips around to start, setting up a dive to the floor to take Kamaitachi out. Christopher Daniels (Kamaitachi’s mentor) breaks up an Asai Moonsault and stomps away as we take an early break. Back with Kamaitachi stomping away even more and going for the mask like a true heel. Since that’s a bit too evil, Kamaitachi opts to just send Stuka into the barricade and choke with a chair.
Back in and it’s time to go for the mask again before Kamaitachi stomps on the knee. Stuka finally gets up and limps to the top for a moonsault into raised boots to give Kamaitachi a near fall. In something as close to cheating as you can get, Stuka loads up Shattered Dreams but hits a running dropkick to the ribs instead. That’s pushing it. They trade rollups for a few near falls each before the referee gets bumped, only to have Stuka dive onto Daniels. A top rope splash crushes Kamaitachi for no count so he pulls off Stuka’s mask and small packages him for the pin at 14:11.
Rating: C-. This is the kind of stuff that I can’t get into in any wrestling company, including Ring of Honor. Stuka is just someone from Mexico that I’ve never heard of and Kamaitachi’s entire character is that he’s Japanese and being mentored by the Addiction. I need more than that and an ok fourteen minutes of wrestling to keep my interest. The mask thing was fine but it would be nice to be told a little more about these people.
We recap the still stupid Kevin Sullivan/BJ Whitmer/Steve Corino story. Apparently Whitmer summoned Sullivan, who he sees as his spiritual father. It’s all about spreading chaos over ROH and Sullivan wanted the two of them to do it. This feels like something out of ten years ago at best and that’s not a good thing.
Jay Briscoe vs. Jay White
White has the Motor City Machine Guns in his corner. The much younger White takes Briscoe to the mat and grabs a rollup for two, which makes Briscoe take this more seriously. Briscoe forearms him in the corner and hits a running boot to the face for two. Back from a break with Briscoe slowly beating on White until a running forearm puts Briscoe down.
That’s enough for Briscoe who knocks White outside for a HARD suicide dive. Another big boot doesn’t make things any better for White and neither does the Death Valley Driver. The Jay Driller is broken up though and a German suplex gives White his first real offense. Back from another break (yes in this match) with White hitting a dropkick and Rock Bottom for two before grabbing a Crossface.
White switches it up into something like an abdominal stretch crossface (it’s better looking than it sounds), sending Briscoe’s foot into the ropes. Briscoe finally throws him off the top to take over and plants White with a superplex. Both guys are gassed so it’s time to slug it out from their knees as TV time expires at 16:00.
Rating: B. That ending actually got me and well done Ring of Honor for not going with the tired “well the rookie tried but came up just short” ending. I completely understand why you don’t want someone who has been around about a month to pin one of your top stars but it took some guts to go with a draw here instead of the Jay Driller for the pin. White looks like a player now and that’s without a doubt the best thing they could have done. Well done indeed and a very legitimate surprise.
Overall Rating: C+. You can take or leave the rest of the show but the main event was one of the better booking decisions I’ve seen in a good while on a TV match. Sometimes you need to make a new star and while this isn’t a career making moment, it’s something that’s going to get him noticed. I didn’t expect that coming into this nothing show and I got a good match as a result, making this show a success.
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ECW on TNN Date: July 28, 2000
Location: Peoria Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
Last week was a fairly stand alone show so hopefully things pick up this week. We’re months away from the next pay per view and that means it’s up to TV to carry things for a good while. After the last few months, I really don’t have a ton of confidence in ECW’s ability to do that but maybe I’ll be surprised. Let’s get to it.
TV Title: Rhino vs. Chilly Willy
Rhino is defending and this is joined in progress with Willy sending him into a chair for a near fall. The Gore and a piledriver put Willy away quick.
Post match Sandman saves Willy from going through a table and spears Rhino through it instead. Is there a reason this feud seems to be continuing?
Opening sequence.
Joey and Joel do their intro from the booth as Billy Corgan (yes that Billy Corgan) is in the ring with an original song about ECW. Cue Lou E. Dangerously with the Network to cut him off before Billy can start though. Various Smashing Pumpkins insults result in Lou taking a guitar to the head. Network runs in, Dreamer and Lynn make the save. Dreamer issues a challenges for a falls count anywhere tag later tonight.
Tajiri vs. Psicosis
Actually hang on as the FBI jumps Tajiri so we have a replacement.
Little Guido vs. Psicosis
Guido sunsets in for two at the bell but a big dive takes the Italians down. Back in and Psicosis is sent shoulder first into the post with Guido ramming it into the post over and over. Guido punches him down for two and hits a middle rope seated dropkick (that’s a new one) for two. Sal gets in a running splash against the barricade to set up a Sicilian crab, only to have Tajiri come in with a kick to the head. The guillotine legdrop puts Guido away.
Rating: C. These cruiserweight matches are fine but it would be nice if they went somewhere. It’s almost like they should be fighting for the TV Title instead of having both singles titles stuck in the main event scene. The match was fun and all and the ending sets up something else, but it would have been nice to have this go somewhere instead of being a one off match/nothing feud.
Rhino yells about various good guys.
We look at Kid Kash beating EZ Money on Hardcore TV.
Dawn Marie takes Joel’s place and mugs for the camera a lot.
We look at Carl Ouellet (Remember him?) putting Francine through a table and getting beaten up by Justin Credible as a result.
Rob Van Dam thinks the Van Terminator is pretty awesome. He’s pretty cool in general actually.
Blue Boy and Jasmine St. Clair were on Hardcore TV with Blue E. Dangerously by their side. Jazz came out and powerbombed Jasmine out of her dress.
Steve Corino/Scotty Anton vs. Jerry Lynn/Tommy Dreamer
Falls count anywhere. It’s a brawl to start with Anton getting Dreamer in an early Clapper with Jerry making a save. Lynn dives onto Corino and Victory and the four people actually in the match head into the crowd. Corino is bleeding badly (well duh) and here’s Dreamer with a ladder. Dreamer takes Anton back inside but gets sent face first into the top of the ladder for his efforts.
The ladder is bridged between two chairs and Lynn crashes his way through it to put the Network in control. The good guys snap after being forced to do the Clap but the referee gets bumped. Dreamer and Lynn use each others’ finishers and a second referee comes out to count two with Jack Victory decking the second referee. Cue Billy Corgan to lay out Jack and count the pin.
Rating: C. Standard overly violent ECW main event here with the celebrity cameo near the end for a bit of a twist. Anton is still the worst main event guy in a long time, which is covering a lot of ground in a company with Justin Credible around. It would be nice if these matches meant something instead of just more mindless brawling but that’s not going to happen.
Overall Rating: C-. I’m getting very bored by this promotion and it’s no surprise that they’re in a lot of trouble at the moment. There’s just no creativity in what they’re doing and it’s the same stuff over and over again with the same brawling week to week.This week ECW won and odds are next week the Network wins and so on and so forth because that’s how ECW works.
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ECW on TNN Date: July 21, 2000
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
We’re finally past Heat Wave and….nothing happened. Justin Credible is still World Champion, Rhino is still TV Champion, we still have no Tag Team Champions and the Network is still endlessly feuding with ECW. The next pay per view isn’t until October so this might not be getting better for a long time. Let’s get to it.
Joey and Joel do their thing and I can’t think of a way to censor what Gertner said. Cue Dawn Marie (my goodness) to interrupt so the guys can tell her how beautiful she is. Sex jokes are made but we cut away to breaking news of Steve Corino putting a bounty on Jerry Lynn. Da Baldies would like to collect.
Opening sequence.
Da Baldies vs. Jerry Lynn/???
It’s another mystery partner and this time Lynn has chosen……Tommy Dreamer. Tommy comes out late with Lynn already being beaten down. That happens way too often with Lynn’s partners. We take an early break and come back with the fight in the stands, meaning you can only see pieces of Dreamer beating on Angel. They head back down to ringside with Tommy beating on Angel as the other two have disappeared. Back in and Dreamer misses a charge to go shoulder first into the post. It wouldn’t be an ECW match if Dreamer wasn’t injured.
They’re on the floor all over again with Dreamer being crotched on the barricade. DeVito and Lynn remember they’re in the match and fight on the floor for a bit as Angel beats on Dreamer inside. A double flapjack drops Dreamer and of course it’s table time. Cue Jazz to powerbomb Angel for a save, allowing Dreamer to put him through the table instead. Jerry comes back in with the cradle piledriver for the pin on DeVito.
Rating: D. I’m never a fan of these matches where you can barely see a lot of the action and it’s basically two singles matches at the same time. There’s a basic enough story here though with the thugs vs. the two guys fighting against the Network and it’s nice to have anything other than the same matches over and over. The match was nothing to see of course but you can’t expect that on ECW TV.
Post match the Network runs in for the beatdown. This means we get the third name for Anton’s Sharpshooter (Clap, Clapper, Clap Trap).
CW Anderson says he’s awesome and doesn’t care that Johnny Swinger used to work in WCW.
ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Tajiri
Justin is defending and I have no idea why this isn’t closing the show. Also wasn’t Tajiri a heel like two weeks ago? I mean, he had a Network badge and all that jazz. Tajiri starts fast with the kicks, including a big one to send Credible into the barricade. Francine has to hide from Tajiri so Justin can get in a few stomps to the back. For the life of me I don’t get the Credible appeal. There’s just nothing there and it shows worse every time he’s in the ring. I’m not sure if it was miscommunication or intentional but Tajiri hits a kick perfectly upside Justin’s head, leaving both guys standing there for a few seconds.
After that awkward pause (and a great looking kick), Justin hits him low to take over again. A swinging DDT gets two for Justin but he eats yet another kick. Tajiri goes after Francine though, meaning he has to reverse the Tombstone into one of his own (while misting Francine at the same time). The handspring elbow completely misses so Tajiri brings in a table. A top rope double stomp through the table gets two on the champ. Tajiri’s tornado DDT gets the same but That’s Incredible retains the title a few seconds later.
Rating: D+. So Justin gets beaten up, hits a few cane shots, kicks out of a bunch of stuff and hits his finisher for the pin. That sounds like money to me. I have no idea what the appeal of someone like Justin is supposed to be but it’s really not clicking no matter what he does out there. Justin feels like a midcard guy who got lost and wound up in the main event but no one can bring themselves to tell him the truth.
House show ads, including talk of a Tag Team Title tournament.
Rob Van Dam vs. Balls Mahoney
Van Dam spins around until Balls fires off those jabs. That just earns him a kick to the floor and a big flip dive so Van Dam can pose. Balls takes him outside and starts using various beverages to hit Van Dam in the face. They head into the crowd where Rob hits a quick Van Daminator and heads back to ringside. I’m so glad they added that part.
Back in and Van Dam kicks some more, including a second Van Daminator. The Five Star looks to finish but Balls small packages Rob for two instead. A super Nutcracker Sweet (sitout tombstone) gets two but Balls makes the mistake of wedging the chair into the corner. The Van Terminator puts Mahoney away.
Rating: C-. I know Balls was a big ECW fan favorite but he’s really just a brawler with a lot of joke names for his offense. Van Dam really should be doing something more than fighting random matches and then feuding with Scotty freaking Anton on pay per view. The match was fine enough, despite there being no doubt who was winning.
Overall Rating: D+. That might even be a bit generous. This was a completely nothing show with almost no story development coming off a pretty lackluster pay per view. The company has almost no momentum at the moment and it’s really showing more every single time they go on the air.
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Heat Wave 2000
Date: July 16, 2000
Location: Grand Olympic Auditorium, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 5,700
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus
ECW is in trouble at this point and Justin Credible isn’t making things any easier. He’s been champion for three months now and he’s really not that interesting. With Storm out of the way, the match with Dreamer is the next logical step for him as he basically stole the belt from Tommy, but that still doesn’t make him interesting on top of the company, especially with Van Dam sitting there in a meaningless match against Anton. Let’s get to it.
We open with Jasmin St. Claire on the beach in a very small swimsuit with the Blue Boy (formerly the Blue Meanie but now about 100lbs lighter) talking about how fat people are. They run into a guy in good shape who Blue Boy calls fat. A fight nearly breaks out but Jasmin hits him low.
They make out on the beach but we pan over to Sinister Minister. Apparently Blue Boy sold his soul to be thin and have Jasmin. The Minister talks about how we’re in Los Angeles where things happen when it gets hot. He references a lot of WWF pay per views before talking about the main event. We pan over again to see Mikey Whipwreck buried up to his neck in sane. Minister laughs a lot and we go to the arena.
Joel and Joey are in the ring to open things up. The ramp is gone again. Styles is glad to be on the west coast, though it was ECW’s lone appearance here. Joel’s rhyme is especially filthy this time so here’s Cyrus to cut him off. Gertner gets on the apron but comes back inside as Cyrus is asking the people if they know who he is. He brags about deporting Super Crazy (he’ll be back) and taking the TV Title from Tajiri. Cyrus used the ECW on TNN budget to promote Rollerjam (a roller derby show) and stripped Rob Van Dam of the TV Title. Joel cuts him off and says he doesn’t want to be on TNN.
Cyrus says he’s canceled ECW and threatens to turn out Gertner’s lights. He says Joel delivers the fat gay demographic so Gertner makes gay jokes about Cyrus. They argue some more with Joel saying he helps Cyrus but Cyrus counters by saying Joel never paid a due in wrestling. Joey says he has an IQ over 140 and went to an Ivy League college so he doesn’t need to put up with Cyrus. It’s been a pleasure working with Joey, but Joel is done. Cyrus gloats but Gertner sneaks up on him and gets in a few good shots before security drags him away.
Big Sal comes in and beats up some security and referees before his match.
Balls Mahoney vs. Big Sal E. Graziano
Balls has to beat up the newest member of the FBI Tony Mamaluke but gets decked by Sal. Mahoney hammers away and kicks Sal low before nailing him with a chair. Sal won’t go down and chokeslams Balls, followed by a belly to belly suplex for the pin.
Rob Van Dam has something new tonight: the Van Terminator. He’s teased that move for a few weeks now but no one knows what it is.
We see Bobby Eaton (a very talented wrestler from the 1980s who was still better than most of ECW’s roster at this point) appearing at the ECW Arena to go after C.W. Anderson for disrespecting the Anderson Family.
Simon Diamond/Swinger/C.W. Anderon vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring/Kid Kash
Diamond has dropped most of his entourage and is part of a tag team with Swinger (a muscular guy with long hair and that’s about the extent of things that differentiates him from others). Anderson is on his own now as well and recently broke Kash’s four month undefeated streak. The other four guys are decent teams but the Tag Team Titles remain vacant.
Simon and Kash get things going with a technical sequence and the fans already declare it boring. Kash nails a hard chop in the corner before they kick each other away to give us a standoff. Anderson comes in but is quickly taken down and nailed with a middle rope elbow drop. Doring and Roadkill crush Swinger and Diamond in the corner before clearing the ring. Kash nails a slingshot hurricanrana over the top to the floor to take Anderson down.
Back in and Kash hits a springboard clothesline to Anderson before another hurricanrana sends Simon back to the floor. The numbers finally catch up to Kash and Swinger takes over. Anderson comes in but charges into an elbow in the corner, followed by a moonsault press to put him down. It’s off to Doring vs. Swinger with Danny cleaning house with jawbreakers.
Simon comes back with a cobra clutch legsweep to drop Doring before Diamond plants him for two. Anderson blasts him in the jaw with the left hand but Doring slams him face first into the mat. The fans are going NUTS for Roadkill here and they get exactly what they want. Roadkill comes in and cleans house, sending all three villains to the floor for a big dive from Doring.
Kash hits an even bigger one but Roadkill tops them all by taking out all five guys. Back in and Roadkill gets crotched on the top, allowing Simon and Swinger to double team Doring with a backbreaker/reverse DDT combination. The Anderson spinebuster plants Kash for two but Roadkill breaks it up with a legdrop to the back of the head. Kash breaks up the Problem Solver (double team elevated DDT) to Doring, who nails the double arm DDT on Diamond. The Money Maker (double underhook piledriver) gives Kash the pin over Swinger.
Rating: B-. Nice six man tag here but the booking is a little confusing. If Simon and Swinger is supposed to be the new big team, why would you have them lose here? It’s a shame that the tag team division is starting to pick up some steam, just as there are no belts for anyone to win.
Rhino likes putting Sandman’s wife in the hospital and Sandman’s kids watching her.
Jerry Lynn vs. Steve Corino
Corino is still Network and has Victory with him. Lynn chops away in the corner to start and scores with a middle rope bulldog. A clothesline sends Steve to the floor and Lynn’s big dive takes both of them out. Back in and Jerry is sent to the apron but he sends Steve down onto the floor to take over again. A tornado DDT onto the floor has Corino busted open already. Jerry gouges at the cut and hammers away back inside.
Corino gets punched in the corner but he’s still able to come out with an atomic drop. The blond hair is already half covered in blood. Some left hands and the Bionic Elbow put Lynn down for two and a powerslam gets the same. They head back to the floor with Corino making sexual remarks about some fans’ mothers before whipping Lynn into the barricade.
Back in and a t-bone suplex stops Lynn’s offense for two. Victory throws in a chair but Jerry dropkicks it into Corino’s face to put both guys down. Lynn hammers away and the blood is just flowing from Corino’s head. Another chair is brought in and Lynn DDTs Corino off the top rope onto the steel for two. Jerry is all ticked off and rubs Steve’s blood on his own face before writing DIE on his stomach. Corino comes back with a superkick for two but goes up, only to get taken down in an awkward looking attempt at a reverse DDT. It was closer to a Russian legsweep than anything else and gives Jerry a two count.
Corino hits the Old School Expulsion (a reverse Twist of Fate) for two of his own but Victory tries to bring in some powder. The referee gets blinded instead so there’s no one to count. Corino takes his boot off and lays Jerry out again but there’s no referee. Victory hits Lynn in the head with the cowbell for two and Jack is stunned. They trade rollups for two each until Lynn counters a backslide into a cradle piledriver for the pin.
Rating: B-. This was a solid brawl but as usual, I don’t get the booking. If you want Corino to look like a big deal, why have him lose? Jerry winning makes sense, but you would think there’s a better opponent for him. I say you would think that, because the roster is so thin at this point that there really isn’t anyone else for him to face. More great blood from Corino though.
We see almost half of Sandman vs. Rhino from Hardcore Heaven. This is more pay per view filler which they really shouldn’t need at this point.
Sandman, with Lori next to him, rants about what Rhino did and making him go see her in the hospital every day. Rhino sneaks in and nails Sandman in the head with a Singapore cane before taking Lori to a toilet to try to drown her. Sandman gets up for the save as security drags them off.
Dawn Marie comes out to do commentary for no apparent reason.
Here’s New Jack with a broken leg, only to get jumped by Da Baldies (Angel and DeVito, the only two left). Nova and Chris Chetti run in for the save and we have a tag match.
Da Baldies vs. Chris Chetti/Nova
Nova is dressed as the Flash now and Chetti has bleach blond hair. Angel gets beaten up to start and Da Baldies are quickly knocked to the floor. Chetti and Nova both hit big dives to take out a Baldie each before Chetti tries to fight them both off on his own. Angel hits a nice jawbreaker to put Chris down but Nova misses a Swanton Bomb. DeVito hits a sitout Rock Bottom but misses a moonsault instead of covering. Nova pops back up and hits rolling piledrivers into a helicopter bomb for two on DeVito, followed by the Amityville Horror and the Tidal Wave gets the pin.
Rating: D+. Just a quick match here with Da Baldies basically getting squashed. Nova and Chetti really need something to do at this point as they’re bored beating all these teams. If only there were some belts for them to win or something like that. They’re barely breaking a sweat with these matches anymore and there’s nothing for them to win. It’s a big waste of a good act.
Tommy Dreamer talks about working at a pizzeria but never making enough money. Then he got into the wrestling business looking for the big payoff. He’s lost money, friends and jobs because of this and he wouldn’t change a thing. Francine and Justin Credible are all that stand in his way of the big payoff tonight and he wants to do things the hard way.
Dreamer nearly has a breakdown in front of the camera, ranting about how tired he is of being on a network that doesn’t respect them and everyone taking away what they created. He bangs his head into a locker and pulls at the cut….as we hear the ring announcer saying this is a three way dance because the production values aren’t very high.
Psicosis vs. Little Guido vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri
Psicosis is a former ECW and WCW wrestler, making his return after about five years away. During the entrances, Mikey Whipwreck and the Sinister Minister hit the ring and we’re making it a four way.
Psicosis vs. Little Guido vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Mikey Whipwreck
Mikey, in a suit jacket, plants Psicosis to start and Tajiri kicks him to the floor. Whipwreck nails a quick Whippersnapper on Guido and throws him outside, setting up a huge dive. Tony Mamaluke (the other FBI member) comes in but gets dropped by Mikey. That’s the end of Mikey’s early success though as he dives on Big Sal, only to get rammed into the post. Back inside and Psicosis drops a guillotine legdrop on Mikey for the elimination less than two minutes in. Why in the world was he even added? If nothing else, it’s one more paycheck Heyman had to hand out.
Psicosis kicks Tajiri in the leg but gets armdragged down. A standing hurricanrana drops him as well as Guido is nowhere in sight. Tajiri gets his throat snapped across the top rope before Guido returns to fight Psicosis in the aisle. That’s fine with Tajiri who takes them both out with an Asai Moonsault. A hard kick to the head stuns Guido and a superplex plants him. Psicosis adds a moonsault legdrop for two before walking into the Kiss of Death (Tomikaze). Tajiri kicks Guido in the head and hits a German suplex on Psicosis for the elimination.
We’re down to Tajiri vs. Guido with the latter getting chopped in the corner. Tajiri tries to take him down in a powerbomb style pin but Guido keeps bridging up in a nice series of counters. The Tarantula has some more success for Tajiri and the fans are way behind him. The handspring elbow drops Guido again and it’s chair time.
Tajiri puts him in the Tree of Woe and baseball slides the chair into Guido’s face. Back up and Guido kicks the chair into Tajiri’s face and hits a bad looking middle rope Fameasser to send Tajiri outside. The fans inquire about their pizza before they slug it out in the corner. They chop it out until Tajiri blows the green mist in his eyes and hits a brainbuster for the pin.
Rating: D+. Well that happened. I’m not sure what else you want me to say about it. We’ve seen almost this same match about seven or eight times now and whoever wins is only going to be elevated for a little while before being dropped back down the card in favor of Sandman getting title matches despite giving wrestling a bad name every time he has one of his disasters. The match was decent enough but it’s not going to mean anything.
Justin Credible says tonight, ECW introduces barbed wire to pay per view. It’s going to be hanging above the ring in the Stairway to Hell match. Ignore the fact that there was barbed wire at Barely Legal.
TV Title: Sandman vs. Rhino
Sandman, the challenger, takes another five minutes to get to the ring. They jaw at each other to start until Sandman literally breaks the cane over Rhino’s head. The champion doesn’t go down and nails Sandman with a clothesline to take over. Sandman comes back with left hands and the fight is already on the floor. We get a piece of barricade thrown into the ring and Sandman throws the monster into the steel.
A top rope hurricanrana puts Rhino onto the barricade for two and Sandman follows it up with a powerslam. The barricade is laid on top of Rhino again and a Swanton Bomb gets two. Now Rhino is sent into the barricade in the corner and the steel is bent in half, drawing out the Network to beat up Sandman.
Spike Dudley returns on a broken leg (injured by Rhino) and Corino takes a 3D with Spike playing Bubba. Rhino Gores Spike down and piledrives him off the apron and through a table. Back in and Sandman blasts Rhino in the head with another Singapore cane but Rhino breaks up his Russian legsweep by sending him into the bent barricade. A piledriver on the barricade is enough to retain Rhino’s title.
Rating: D. This was the best match of their series but only because they kept it contained. It’s still barely wrestling and Rhino deserves far better than this, but that’s Sandman dragging down a match for you. He’s far better when he keeps things simple and away from ladders, and that’s why this worked better.
We go back to the commentary booth where we’re reminded Dawn Marie is still there. She hasn’t been heard in nearly an hour. Joey gets in another argument with Cyrus.
Rob Van Dam vs. Scotty Anton
Anton is Network and has a gimmick of clapping over his head. His finishing move: the Clapper (Sharpshooter). Even his song is about giving people the Clap. A quick kick to the face drops Anton and a quick Rolling Thunder gets two. Anton bails to the floor but Rob follows him out and nails a moonsault off the barricade. The spinning kick from the apron drives a chair into Anton’s back before taking him back inside for a delayed gorilla press.
A middle rope moonsault gets two for Rob as this has been one sided so far. Van Dam goes up for a Van Daminator but Anton takes the chair away and pelts it at Rob’s head to take over. Another chair shot has Rob in trouble and Anton bulldogs him off the apron and throat first onto the barricade. Back in and Rob gets tied in the Tree of Woe before he gets planted with a belly to back superplex for two. Scotty takes him down and makes Van Dam do the Clap, only to tick Rob off again.
They head outside again with Anton sending him face first into the barricade. Back to the Tree of Woe but Rob gets his foot free for a very weak kick to send a chair into Scotty’s face. Alfonso’s chair is intercepted but Rob kicks Anton in the face to put both guys down. The chair is skateboarded into Scotty’s face for two and the split legged moonsault gets the same. Alfonso puts the chair onto Anton for Rolling Thunder but Anton gets in a chair shot to the knee.
The Clapper (and a bad one) goes on but Scotty lets go and puts the hold on Alfonso. One of the most telegraphed Van Daminators yet makes the save and there’s the Five Star but Rob doesn’t cover. Instead Scotty crawls into the corner as the fans chant Terminator. Rob climbs the ropes as Alfonso puts a chair in Anton’s face. Van Dam gets a huge springboard and dropkicks the chair into Scotty’s face for the pin. So the big move was basically a springboard Van Daminator.
Rating: D+. This match’s problem can be boiled down to one idea: Scotty Anton is not very good. Back in WCW he never could do anything beyond basic moves and that’s still the case here. It’s nothing special to see and the match was really dull as a result. This was yet another waste of Van Dam, though he’s still the most over guy in the company.
We recap Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer, which is fallout from Cyberslam where Credible took the title from Dreamer twenty minutes after Tommy won it, as well as Hardcore Heaven where Dreamer had to give up his chance to prevent Credible from throwing the belt in the trash.
ECW World Title: Tommy Dreamer vs. Justin Credible
This is Stairway to Hell with barbed wire over the ring and ladders used to climb it, though you win by pinfall. Dreamer brings out Jazz to equalize Francine, but then brings out George, a former valet in WCW where she was known as Gorgeous George. An interesting note from just after the match starts is a group of XPW wrestlers (a local hardcore promotion) sitting at ringside causes a big commotion and allegedly touch Francine, though she would say there was no contact at all. Security and some of the locker room come get rid of them.
After about two minutes of waiting for things to calm down, we’re ready to go. They start with a technical sequence and Joey’s reaction is great: “A wrestling match has broken out!” Justin superkicks Dreamer in the face to take over as we’re just waiting on the weapons to come in. They’re quickly outside with Dreamer hitting Credible with a beer.
Alleged brawling takes place in the crowd but thankfully they stop walking around and get back to ringside. Never mind as they head back into the crowd with Justin already busted open. Dreamer brings out a ladder up near the announcers’ area but gets shoved off the ladder and down near the merchandise stand. Back to ringside with Dreamer getting in a shot to take over and putting the ladder on the corner in the ring. Dreamer gets whipped face first into the end of the ladder as Joey and Cyrus argue again.
Justin replaces the ladder with an open chair on the corner but puts the ladder over the bottom rope. Tommy catapults him hands first into the ladder (the camera shot ruined the spot) and goes up the ladder, onto to have Francine hit him low for the save. Dreamer falls but lands on Francine in a big crash, drawing in Jazz and George.
To the shock of no one with a brain, George turns on Jazz and helps Francine up. Francine misses a Bronco Buster to George and gets beaten up by Jazz, including ripping off her top to reveal tape. Jazz takes That’s Incredible but Dreamer hits the Tommyhawk (a reverse Outsider’s Edge but Dreamer pulls him down into a cutter) for two.
Dreamer climbs the ladder to bring down the barbed wire which he wraps around the top rope. Justin goes up top but gets crotched on the wire, only to be fine five seconds later as he pulls Tommy into That’s Incredible on the wire for two. Tommy hits a DDT onto the wire but Justin hits another That’s Incredible on the barbed wire to retain.
Rating: D. The ending was so obvious that it made the rest of the match feel like a bit waste of time. Justin gets to keep the belt for another few months and this match doesn’t take away any of the criticisms about him. He doesn’t come off as interesting or skilled, but rather a two move guy with a very generic cocky heel character to him. The barbed wire only came into play for the last minute and a half, making the rest of the match just a regular dull ECW brawl that we’ve seen about a dozen times before. Dreamer felt like he was a lame duck challenger coming in and that’s exactly what he came off looking like in the match.
Justin celebrates and Cyrus is thrilled to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. This company is very quickly reaching a point where nothing seems to matter. It felt like I’ve seen these same matches on previous shows and this was just a big mixture of whatever ideas they’ve run with before. Rob Van Dam continued to be the most wasted piece of talent you’ll find in this era as he’s having a nearly twenty minute match with career dead weight Scotty Anton while Rhino beats up Sandman for what feels like six months and the midcard guys are still midcard guys because so few people get elevated in this company.
Why should a fan get behind most of the people in this company? Guys like Tajiri and Roadkill get some of the biggest reactions of the night but are stuck in the same three ways or meaningless tag matches (because who needs tag belts right?) for months on end with no way out in sight. It’s so frustrating to watch guys with talent working very hard to get over but getting stuck because the booking isn’t thought out or creative. The show tried, but it’s running around in circles.
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ECW on TNN – July 14, 2000: Another Bad Ep…..That’s Bobby Eaton!
ECW on TNN Date: July 14, 2000
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
It’s the go home show for Heat Wave and it can’t get here soon enough. I’m not sure what to expect when ECW wants to put on a go home show but they’re on a bit of a roll with advancing stories. Unfortunately there’s only so much advancement you can have here, though a few matches to Sunday’s card might help as I can only think of three matches at the moment. Let’s get to it.
Joey and Joel do their thing and Joel actually gets through his very dirty tennis rhyme. Instead of Cyrus for a change, here’s Raven to interrupt. So the rumors are that Raven is leaving so we hit the PLEASE DON’T GO chants. He thanks the fans and hugs the announcers, only to have Cyrus and Scotty Anton (of course) cut him off.
It’s a full THANK YOU RAVEN chant now but Cyrus says none of that matters to the network. He doesn’t care about Raven’s revolutionary gimmick either because Raven stole it from the Jackyl. Raven asks if this is going anywhere because he wanted to say goodbye and leave. Cyrus says Raven is going to have to bend over for the network, just like Paul Heyman. And now a match!
Raven vs. Scotty Anton
Anton takes a quick Even Flow but Rhino saves Cyrus from the same treatment. Raven gets driven through a table but Sandman (with one heck of a tan) comes in with the cane. Lori Fullington (Sandman’s wife) comes in and jumps on Cyrus’ back until security breaks it up. During the melee, Anton has Raven in the Clapper on the floor.
Rob Van Dam promises to debut the Van Terminator.
We go to the bathroom (of course) where Gary Wolfe says he’s back. Blue Meanie, now skinny and with adult star Jasmine St. Clair, comes out of a stall. Apparently his name is now the Blue Boy and he makes a bunch of fat jokes about Wolfe. Gary doesn’t take kindly to this but gets beaten down anyway. By the former Blue Meanie.
Tajiri vs. Mikey Whipwreck
Circling to start until Tajiri just blasts him with a superkick. Another kick sends Mikey off the apron for a crash into the barricade but Tajiri doesn’t know how to use a ring wrench. Instead Mikey takes over with a slingshot legdrop, only to get kicked in the face again. An inverted tornado DDT sets up an Octopus to make Mikey tap.
Rating: C. They kept this moving but I’m not sure what the point is in squashing Mike, who is doing stuff backstage to set up his new character. Tajiri can beat up anyone else to set up this big heel push but at least it was a good match with Mikey being able to work well with anyone. Tajiri wasn’t really a heel here though and that makes the turn a bit questionable so far.
Francine teases flashing us but it turns into Justin Credible talking about Sunday’s match against Tommy Dreamer.
Here are Simon and Swinger and their wacky band of misfits (great examples of people who could be let go to cut some costs) with something to say. They’re sick and tired of being a comedy act but here’s CW Anderson to get in Simon’s face. Anderson cleans house and even punches the Prodigette in the face. The Problem Solver lays out the Prodigy as the misfits seem to be gone as Anderson has joined Simon and Swinger.
CW issues an open challenge for a tag match, quick is quickly answered by Danny Doring and Roadkill. The numbers game gets the better of them but…..my goodness Bobby Eaton of all people comes out for the real save. Eaton is eventually superkicked down and the new alliance stands tall.
We run down the top of Sunday’s card.
Anderson, Swinger and Simon make jokes about Doring and Roadkill. A six man is announced with Doring and Roadkill plus Kid Kash fighting the trio.
Steve Corino/??? vs. Jerry Lynn/???
Another dream partner tag match with Corino picking Rhino and Lynn picking….well we’ll get to that in a second as Lynn gets Gored before anyone can come out. Jerry reaches over to the towel he brought in and pulls out a beer. Well that’s good for Jerry as he just happened to pick the guy Corino’s mystery partner was feuding with.
Sandman hits the ring and immediately eats a superkick from Corino. Well so much for that one. Everything heads outside with Lynn diving onto Corino despite there being almost no space between the ring and the barricade. Rhino and Sandman fight in the ring as Jerry blasts Corino in the head with a chair. All four get back inside for more brawling as they might as well have just had this be a brawl. I don’t know why they refer to this as a tag match as I don’t remember the last time there were actual tags in an ECW match.
Rhino piledrives Lynn for two, followed by a White Russian legsweep to give Sandman the same. Cyrus comes in to break up the cradle piledriver and Corino elbows Lynn through a table at ringside. This brings in Little Spike Dudley to play Bubba in a 3D to give Sandman the pin on Rhino.
Rating: D. Yeah whatever. I know this is the ECW standard but that doesn’t mean it holds up or is anything that I’d want to see again. The ending does help set up Sunday’s title match and I guess helps with Lynn vs. Corino but there was no better way than having this mess? I’m just not a fan of these things and they really show how horrible Sandman is at “wrestling”.
A long pay per view ad takes us out.
Overall Rating: D+. This was another example of ECW being all over the place with a few matches being added to Sunday’s show. That helps a few things but doesn’t make this the best use of less than forty one minutes I’ve ever seen. Heat Wave really needs to change some things up for the sake of keeping the show fresh, but I have a feeling we won’t exactly be seeing that on Sunday.
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ECW on TNN – July 7, 2000: It You Build It….Well It Really Doesn’t Matter
ECW on TNN Date: July 7, 2000
Location: The Odeum, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles
For once ECW actually has built up a big match for this show as Sandman is challenging Justin Credible for the ECW World Title. We’re also nine days away from Heat Wave, meaning it’s almost time to start something fresh, assuming that’s actually done in this promotion anymore. Let’s get to it.
We open with a look at the matches taped for Hardcore TV before this show went on the air.
Gorgeous George (just George here in ECW) is in the ring to start but Francine runs out and blasts her with a cane. See, it’s her house and she’s the Queen of Extreme and all that jazz. Not Jazz but jazz.
Opening sequence.
Joel and Joey are in the ring and IT’S CYRUS COMING OUT TO YELL AT JOEL AGAIN! Cyrus does his thing so Joel brings out Spike Dudley (remember he used to manage the Dudleys) despite Spike’s knee being horrible at the moment. Spike blames Cyrus for deporting Super Crazy, stripping Rob Van Dam of the TV Title (I’m sure Van Dam could have fought on a destroyed leg/ankle) and having Rhino break Spike’s leg. Cue Rhino to prevent Cyrus’ death and here’s Pitbull Gary Wolfe to fight for Spike.
TV Title: Gary Wolfe vs. Rhino
I’m assuming this is a title match but Wolfe spends too much time setting up a table in the corner, allowing Rhino to hit the Gore. A piledriver through the table retains Rhino’s title. I actually like them making this a match instead of just a quick beatdown. It’s not like it hurts anything.
Raven is upset and Styles is shocked that he’s here. He works here Joey.
Recap of Tajiri vs. Jerry Lynn, the latter of whom may or may not be part of the Network.
Tajiri vs. Jerry Lynn
Lynn baseball slides him into the barricade and they’re brawling in a hurry. Back in and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Tajiri down and sends us to a break. We come back with Tajiri grabbing a hammerlock with his leg wrapped around Lynn’s neck. Cue Cyrus dressed as Jerry’s trainer (because reasons) as Lynn comes back with a great looking German suplex.
A tornado DDT gets two on Tajiri and a superplex makes things even worse. As you might expect, Tajiri comes back with a kick (a missile dropkick in this case) but Jerry sends him outside. Jerry claims an elbow injury so Tajiri puts him in an octopus hold. A little mist gets rid of Cyrus but Tajiri puts him in the Tarantula just in case. Cue Steve Corino to kick Lynn in the face, allowing Tajiri to kick him in the face for the pin.
Rating: C+. The ending was pretty badly telegraphed as everyone was so sure that it was going to be Lynn and then DUN DUN DUN, it’s actually Tajiri. I’ve heard worse ideas but they didn’t do the best job of hiding this. At least the match was hard hitting and entertaining though and that’s an improvement.
Justin and Francine are in the back and Credible is drooling over his belt. Sandman won’t take it from him tonight.
We see a clip of Simon and Swinger beating down the new Dangerous Alliance last week on Hardcore TV.
Simon and Swinger vs. Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring
It’s a brawl to start (duh) with Doring and Roadkill taking over on both teams. Nova and Chetti start firing off the kicks to the much bigger Roadkill, only to have to deal with Simon and Swinger. Roadkill hits the always cool double clothesline off the top but here’s CW Anderson (of the Dangerous Alliance) to clean house. A quick Simonizer (reverse DDT) eliminates Nova and we’re down to two teams. Doring and Roadkill clean house until Doring takes WAY too long on the top, allowing Chetti to shove him down. Swinger adds an implant DDT for the pin.
Rating: D+. I like all three of these teams but sweet goodness they were flying through this so fast that nothing had the chance to sink in. All three teams have a lot of potential and it would be nice if they had something to fight over, but for reasons that I’ll never comprehend, Heyman decided that the titles could be vacated on April 22 and new champions wouldn’t be crowned for four months. But at least the matches are good, when they have time that is.
ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Sandman
Justin is defending and Dawn Marie is referee for reasons of “well, we advertised her so she has to do something.” Oh and she hates Justin to make it even screwier. Dawn and Francine start the catfight but Justin canes Dawn in the head to get rid of her. Sandman starts on the floor and sends Justin into the barricade to avoid the whole wrestling thing.
That’s the perfect time to bring in a wooden pallet for an actually successful whip across the ring. Justin whips him into it for a change and the referee (not Dawn) is bumped. Sandman hits a hurricanrana (not without some pelvic thrusts into Justin’s face of course) and here’s Dusty Rhodes to count the two. Dusty fights off Corino and Victory and leaves, allowing Francine to just unload on Sandman with a cane.
That brings out Gorgeous George for the catfight, followed by Scotty Anton to beat on Sandman. Raven makes the save but gets a cane to the head. Those two fight to the back, leaving Sandman to toss Justin through a table in the corner. Now it’s Rhino coming in to blast Sandman, setting up That’s Incredible to retain Justin’s title.
Rating: C. Oh why not? There’s no indication that Sandman can actually wrestle and I haven’t seen any proof that Credible can do much besides swing a cane and Tombstone people so this is about as much as you can expect. It’s also ECW to a nutshell: violence, chaos and absolutely no wrestling in sight.
We’re still not done as Tommy Dreamer comes out with Jazz for a piledriver on some barbed wire to really bust Credible open to finally end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. Some stupid stuff aside, it was so nice to actually get somewhere with any of the big stories, even if it was something that wasn’t much of a surprise. Heat Wave can’t get here soon enough though and the shows are getting just slightly better, though to be fair it wasn’t hard to improve over what they were doing just a few weeks ago.
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ECW on TNN – June 30, 2000: This Isn’t The Pay Per View?
ECW on TNN Date: June 30, 2000 Location: The Rave, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 2,000 Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles
The stupidly slow march towards Heat Wave continues as we keep waiting for anything new to happen. For a company built on the idea of being all energetic and insane, they certainly do know how to stay stuck in one place and never move out of it like few others I’ve ever seen. Let’s get to it.
Cyrus says the Whole F’ing Show might become the Dead F’ing Show when Rhino gets done with him.
Opening sequence.
The arena is really dimly lit, which suggests a bad house. If the 2,000 is accurate though, that’s hardly bad.
The FBI and Tajiri are in the ring with Joel and Joey for the opening but Jerry Lynn in a referee shirt cuts off Joel’s punchline (it involved hitting the ceiling). Jerry wants them out of the ring because he has this one under control. Last week was a mistake because Tajiri (Lynn: “This son of a b*$&@, but a very nice guy!”) blew mist in his eyes. The regular referee says he’s in charge but Jerry decides there are going to be two referees. That earns the regular referee a piledriver and we’re ready to go.
Tajiri vs. Little Guido
Tajiri is smart enough to give Tony Mamaluke a brainbuster before we’re ready to go. They speed things up very quickly for a few near falls each until Tajiri knees him in the head. Guido takes him down into a Fujiwara Armbar followed by some chops in the corner, only to have Tajiri grab his own Fujiwara Armbar for a nice touch. They head outside with Tajiri blasting him in the head with a kick, followed by the required chair shot.
Back in with Guido barely able to stand as Joey talks about a Nitro star defecting tonight. A bite to the head cuts Guido open and it’s time to kick at the cut. Back from a break with a table in the ring and Guido getting kicked even more. The Kiss of Death (Killswitch) gets two on Tajiri, who comes right back by kicking Lynn low. Cue Big Sal for a 600lb slam to crush Tajiri, giving Guido the pin.
Rating: C+. I like both of these guys and they were allowed to just wrestle for the most part, making this a much better match than most of what you get around here. The ending was your standard “well we don’t quite know yet” fare but you have to expect that. I mean, it’s only been like a month and a half of the same thing. That’s just getting warmed up in ECW.
Joey isn’t sure if Lynn saw anything because OF COURSE we don’t know anything for sure.
Van Dam wants his TV Title back tonight.
Mikey Whipwreck is freaking out over something to Sinister Minister. You can barely hear anything they’re talking about because of music playing in the background. Mikey says this is worth $1000 for two minutes but Minister isn’t convinced. They open the door and it’s WCW’s Gorgeous George dancing. Minister’s mind changes in a hurry. Mikey looks at the camera and says OH YEAH while doing the Randy Savage finger waves. Minister looks in again and I can’t say I blame him.
RVD is ready.
TNN actually airs a commercial for ECW. It’s for a show that aired earlier in the month but it’s a commercial nonetheless.
Francine vs. Jazz
Before the match, Francine says no way but here’s Jazz to cut her off. Jazz makes some threats but gets jumped by Justin Credible. Cue Tommy Dreamer for the save and let’s have a mixed tag.
Francine/Justin Credible vs. Jazz/Tommy Dreamer
Jazz headscissors Justin to start but he low blows Dreamer as things settle down. An enziguri puts Justin on the floor and the guys fight into the crowd. Justin actually gets the better of it and takes over inside as Joel makes sex jokes about Dreamer and Francine. Francine even gets in a few shots on Dreamer’s leg, only to have him claw her between the legs. A chair to the back puts Justin down and that means it’s time for a table.
Naturally Dreamer goes face first into said table (he brought it in after all) and everything breaks down with the heels being put in stereo Trees of Woe. That means double delayed dropkicks into chairs into their faces before the Tommyhawk (reverse Razor’s Edge into a cutter for a really cool looking move) gives Dreamer the pin on the champ.
Rating: D. Well that exists. I have no idea why Jazz vs. Francine is a thing but at least this helps set up Dreamer as a more credible (gah) challenger at the pay per view. I mean that’s a ladder match with barbed wire above the ring but at least it’s better than watching them try to have a regular match.
Jazz brings out barbed wire but the Network comes out to take care of Dreamer with Jack Victory kidnapping Jazz, leaving the rest to beat on Dreamer. Justin tombstones him on the barbed wire to make the blood flow even harder. Oh and Francine gets to pin Dreamer, making sure that he loses any heat he might have earned from the pin.
TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Rhino
Rhino is defending and they hammer on each other in the corner to start with Van Dam getting the better of it. A springboard kick to the face has Rhino in trouble but Rob poses instead of following up. Rhino gorilla presses him to take over but gets caught in a hurricanrana. The Gore hits way too early and Rob is up at two. You don’t often see finishers treated like middle of the road moves like that. We hit the chinlock for a bit followed by a spinebuster for two.
Rhino’s middle rope headbutt gets two more but gets caught by a stepover kick to the face. More kicks to the head have Rhino in trouble and there’s the Rolling Thunder onto a chair onto Rhino. Van Dam loads up the Five Star but here’s Scotty Anton to shove him off the top and that’s a DQ, which I didn’t even know existed in ECW.
Rating: C-. I know it didn’t have a finish and it was just an eight minute match, but these two should have been the main event of Heat Wave, not Rhino vs. Sandman (been done to death already) and Van Dam vs. Anton (kill me now). The match was fine enough and both guys looked good but this really shouldn’t have happened on TV when ECW is dying for money, which could have been brought in by a well publicized match between these two.
Van Dam has to fight off the entire Network but Credible gets in a Singapore cane shot to put him down. Sandman FINALLY comes out (after the fans chant for him for a good while) and beats Justin up to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. See, now this one I can get behind. For one thing, this show was all about the wrestling with three matches, all of which actually played a role in a story. More importantly than that though, the main event is building towards a big match next week as Sandman challenges Credible for the title. It doesn’t have to be some grand production. Just have the wrestling actually build somewhere and I’m much happier.
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Impact Wrestling – August 25, 2016: Bound For Bad Wrestling
Impact Wrestling Date: August 25, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
We’re down to six weeks before Bound For Glory and you can start to see some of the card taking shape. Tonight’s main event has World Title implications as we have Ethan Carter III vs. Drew Galloway for the #1 contendership with Aron Rex as the guest referee. It should also be interesting to see where they go with the midcard titles. Let’s get to it.
Ethan Carter III and Drew Galloway meet on the roof of a very tall building with a pool nearby. They sit down for some whiskey and a chat which we’ll probably see later.
We recap Ethan maybe or maybe not causing Drew several World Title matches.
Battle Royal
Robbie E., Jesse Godderz, Eli Drake, Basille Baraka, Baron Dax, Grado, Mahabali Shera, Mike Bennett, Moose, Eddie Edwards
Winner gets a World Title shot and Lashley is on commentary. There are only ten people in an open invitation battle royal for a World Title shot? Josh says this show is being called a turning point. Wait is this Turning Point 2016? Or is that just Josh running his mouth like the goon that he is?
Baraka eliminates Dax to get us down to nine and to make me happy that I don’t have to remember which of those two is which. Moose dumps Shera and we take a break. Back with all eight still in before Baraka gets rid of Robbie. Moose tosses Baraka a few seconds later, followed by Eli getting rid of Grado. Lashley keeps talking about how everyone can just leave now because they’re not winning the title shot. At least he’s sounding cocky like a monster heel should.
Eddie throws Drake out and we’re down to four. Jesse springboards back in to clothesline both heels but Moose tosses him out with ease. So it’s Eddie, Moose and Bennett to go and the double teaming begins, only to have Eddie grab Moose in a hurricanrana but Mike dumps them both out for the win at 17:10.
Rating: D. Well that happened. Bennett was one of the only options to win here and that’s the problem with having ten people in a battle royal. Shouldn’t most of the roster be in this if it’s for a shot at the World Title? Where are all the X-Division guys who were talking about how they wanted to fight Lashley? Matt and Jeff aren’t interested in being World Champion? That’s not the best thinking and it made for a bad battle royal with everyone waiting to get down to the three or so potential winners.
Ethan and Drew down their first whiskey and Ethan asks what they’re talking about. Isn’t that clear based on all of Drew’s talking of late?
After a break, Moose yells at Bennett as Maria tells the camera to get out of here.
Here’s Matt Hardy with the contract for the Tag Team Title shot. The titles are decaying and must be saved by his brilliance. This brings out Jeff who sings/speaks the lyrics to his obsolete theme. Matt isn’t sure why Jeff is here so Jeff mentions wrestling for the creatures. Now it’s Rosemary coming out to say they have the titles and won’t be giving them up. Abyss says the destruction of the Hardys will be beautiful and Crazzy Steve shows up to say about the same. Matt promises revenge for Decay stealing Maxill in his vision and vows to eat all of them. Jeff can fight any of them right now and Abyss volunteers.
Jeff Hardy vs. Abyss
After the break six seconds into the match, we come back to see Abyss in control and Matt telling Jeff to delete him. Instead of taking Abyss to field and something about a Spanish speaking gardener, Jeff forearms him in the head and drops the leg between the legs for two. A Twist of Fate looks to set up the Swanton but Matt says he has to stop being a spot monkey.
Jeff flips Matt off and dives onto Steve, who doesn’t really catch him. Steve comes in and gets clotheslined right back to the floor, allowing Jeff to kick Abyss low and hit him with a chain for two. Abyss better win after that near fall. There’s the chokeslam but Steve mists Abyss by mistake, setting up another Twist of Fate for another two. Matt bites Steve for being in his premonition as the Black Hole Slam puts Jeff away at 11:09.
Rating: D+. Totally overbooked here and the two false finishes were at least one too many. In addition to that (And the stupid break six seconds in. Just come back for the opening bell.), this Matt stuff is annoying. I get that he’s supposed to be all crazy and broken or whatever, but it’s gone so far away from the original idea that it’s just Matt being annoying now instead of being funny or interesting.
Post match Matt says the Decay’s deletion is soon. Jeff, a grasshopper, has many things to learn.
Maria yells at Allie for not knowing that Sienna has a title match as ordered by Billy Corgan. Billy comes in and implies there’s more than one opponent.
Lashley comes up to Mike Bennett, who says he won’t be intimidated. Bennett says Lashley is looking forward to Bound For Glory but needs to be worried about next week.
Knockouts Title: Sienna vs. Marti Bell vs. Madison Rayne vs. Allie vs. Jade
Sienna is defending and Allie tries to help her friend out early on, much to Sienna’s annoyance. Jade and Marti are sent outside as Maria comes out. Marti gets back in and gets stomped down with a stunned look whenever Allie tries something. Maria keeps Madison from getting back in as Sienna yells at Allie for trying to help. Allie actually gets in some offense on Marti before we hit a quick finisher parade. A package piledriver knocks Madison out but Allie accidentally hits Sienna with Marti’s baton. Marti hits Allie with it as well, knocking her right onto Sienna for the pin and the title at 4:28.
Rating: D. Why do I have a feeling that this is a way to get the title on Maria so Gail can take it away from her at Bound For Glory? I only ask because that would be one of the least interesting things they can do and would manage to make four straight Knockouts Champions that mean nothing other than a way to get the title back on Gail. Jade was ignored for Gail, Sienna barely defended the thing and Allie isn’t a wrestler. But you know who is? Gail Kim!
The fans chant for Allie.
Aron Rex guarantees that someone will be bound for glory tonight.
Tyrus is a fixer.
Back on the rooftop, Ethan asks Drew why he’s angry. Drew says it’s because Ethan interfered when Drew specifically asked him not to. Ethan thinks that’s on Drew for just not winning so Drew says he’ll hit extra hard next time. They drink a final toast and shake hands but Drew shoves him into the pool.
Moose is leaving when he runs into Lashley driving away. Lashley suggests that Bennett is pulling his strings and tells him where he’ll be having dinner tonight. Moose nods as Lashley drives away.
It’s time for Fact of Life with the X-Division guys as guests. Drake says whoever thought of that battle royal was a dummy but gets to the question of who has no chance to become the next X-Division Champion. Spud says Sutter won’t be it because he’s just a good story. Sutter points out Spud’s braces so Spud goes on a rant against Mandrews for being short, British and having bad hair. DJZ says he’s going to beat Lashley at some point but Drake cuts him off to hit the dummy button a lot. A brawl breaks out and a string of dives leaves DJZ as the only one standing.
So to recap: Lashley destroyed the X-Division Champion then beat DJZ in the match DJZ wanted. Now there’s going to be a big mess of a match (Ultimate X I’d assume) for the title where one of these goons will come out as champion. Lashley doesn’t lose the title, the new champion will be the best of a bunch of losers with no character, and they probably won’t even have to get a pin to become champion. And people wonder why the X-Division is worthless.
The X-Division Title will be decided in an Ultimate X gauntlet match. So just Ultimate X match after Ultimate X match? Or people being added one at a time and the first person to pull down the title wins? Either way, no pinning involved because that might imply someone gets over the others.
Drew Galloway vs. Ethan Carter III
The winner gets the title shot at Lashley and Aron Rex is guest referee. Feeling out process to start with both guys shoving the other away. A double collision puts them both down and we take a break. Back with Drew being knocked to the floor but stopping a dive with a forearm. A Celtic Cross onto the steps makes things worse for Carter and it’s off to a cravate.
Rex hasn’t been a factor so far, making me think that either he turns on someone or one of the guys (probably Drew) turns on him after counting a clean fall. Ethan gets in a Russian legsweep to send Galloway into the buckle and gets two off a powerbomb out of the corner. Drew gets in a Claymore and a powerbomb of his own for two before they chop it out.
The 1%er is broken up and another Claymore gets two more near falls for Drew. Still nothing from Rex. Carter ramps it up with a super 1%er for two but Galloway muscles him up for a Tombstone. Back up and the Futureshock is countered into a jackknife cover to give Carter the pin at 17:26.
Rating: B-. Nothing spectacular here but the ending was clean, as it should be to send someone to the pay per view main event. Galloway’s fall is an interesting story and sets him up as a potentially big time heel down the line. Carter going to the World Title match makes sense and should make for a good main event but it’s nothing we haven’t seen before.
Post match Drew beats Rex down and sends him into the steps for a heel turn.
Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling mostly sucked tonight and while this certainly didn’t need to be a “special” (which they only referred to it as once or twice with no special graphics etc.), it did feel like they were starting the build towards Bound For Glory. Unfortunately that means it’s a very hit and miss card as TNA’s creative isn’t the strongest at the moment. It’s a watchable show but this was much more about the future than anything on the card tonight.
Results
Mike Bennett won a battle royal last eliminating Moose and Eddie Edwards
Abyss b. Jeff Hardy – Black Hole Slam
Allie b. Sienna, Marti Bell, Madison Rayne and Jade – Allie fell on Rayne
Ethan Carter III b. Drew Galloway – Jackknife cover
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