ECW on TNN Date: June 2, 2000
Location: Seagate Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles
Things are still moving at a slow pace as we have Tommy Dreamer and Raven in their weird alliance against Justin Credible and Sandman wanting revenge on Rhino over attacking his wife. That’s in addition to ECW vs. the Network in the top (I think?) feud. That sounds like enough to have them overflowing with content but somehow it’s a very slow process. Let’s get to it.
Joey and Joel are in the ring to start and Raven is sitting in the corner. After some TNN insults, Joel doesn’t have a dirty rhyme tonight. Joey tells him to make something up, likely because the fans sounded like they were about to riot. He makes one up on the spot that ends with saying how tight the women in Toledo are. You can fill in the details yourself.
Off to Raven, who is sick of Justin Credible stealing everything from him. The other day Justin called him and quoted Keep on Rocking in the Free World, which was enough to make Raven realize Justin could never be him. Cue Justin and Francine, both of whom Raven calls a rather mean name.
The fight is on with Raven getting the better of it until a Francine distraction lets Justin swing the Singapore cane. Tommy Dreamer makes a better save attempt this week as Justin bails, leaving Scotty Anton to sneak in and beat on Raven. The referee of all people yells at Cyrus, only to get beaten down by Anton. Scotty puts the referee in a Sharpshooter and it’s time for THE CLAP!
Opening sequence.
Guido is working out when Tony Mamaluke (from ECW’s Mamalukes’ mini stable) makes his debut. That makes Guido mad because Tony is a fake Italian so he has an idea.
Kid Kash vs. Grimes
The much smaller Kash starts with a headscissors but gets run over by a standing splash. Grimes goes with the power by loading up a reverse Razor’s Edge but flipping forward into something like a sitout powerslam. Cool move actually. Back up and Kash tries to climb onto Grimes’ shoulders for a faceplant but it’s more like a slap to the back of his head.
Another headscissors has Grimes in trouble and Kash knocks him outside for a big running springboard flip dive. Back in and Kash dives into a cutter, followed by a Vader Bomb into a low blow. Kash’s hurricanrana is countered into a flapjack, only to have him grab a rolling victory roll for the pin on Grimes and a big upset.
Rating: D+. Kash is a bunch of spots and little more as he rarely did anything aside from headscissors and hurricanranas. The victory roll ending made sense as it’s not like he can hit a piledriver on someone the size of Grimes. If nothing else it was nice to see Grimes doing something other than fighting New Jack again and again.
We get the same somber Sandman vs. Rhino video from last week.
Johnny Swinger is posing in front of a fan. Swinger: “See? My biggest fan is blowing me.” The Musketeer comes in and tries to fight the fan due to reasons of bad comedy. Prodigy and the Prodigette get doused in Swinger’s oil.
Tony Mamaluke vs. Mikey Whipwreck
Tony tries to take him to the mat early on but gets launched into the air for a faceplant. Guido offers a distraction so Tony can take it outside, only to try a moonsault and LAND ON THE BACK OF HIS NECK ON THE BARRICADE. That’s one of the scariest bumps I’ve ever seen but Mikey takes him back inside for a spinning Pedigree for the fast pin.
Mikey gives an attacking Guido the Whippersnapper post match. Big Sal comes in before fire can be used but gets powder in his eyes. The blind Sal lays out Marinara with a side slam and gorilla press toss into the crowd.
Post break Sinister Minister calls Big Sal a glutton for punishment. Every time he comes near Mikey, Sal is set on fire. If there’s one thing Minister won’t accept, it’s stupidity. Therefore, the next time Sal comes near him, Sal will learn the meaning of spontaneous combustion. Mikey says no way so Minister calls him a liar and lights his pants on fire. Minister laughs as Mikey cries about it burning his flesh.
We get a big rant from Paul Heyman about how TNN is killing them because they don’t want ECW around. Then they’re going to bring in the WWF and give Vince McMahon $100 million. Heyman says this is a shoot as he goes on about how much he hates this network for everything they’ve done wrong. He begs TNN to throw them off the air and tells them to spend that money on attorneys because the war has just begun. Last week Gertner said a lot of the same things on commentary.This was muted on the live broadcast but the Network has the full thing.
Dawn Marie video.
Joel suggests that the TNN executives smuggle young farm animals across state lines for sexual gratification. Heyman, off screen: “ARE YOU READY TO THROW US OFF THE AIR PIG F*$&%*#?” Again, this was muted live as you might expect.
TV Title: Rhino vs. Sandman
Rhino is defending and has Steve Corino in his corner. During Sandman’s three minute entrance, Gertner suggests that Sandman wants to beat Rhino for making Sandman’s wife all whiny because she’s been in the hospital so much lately. Cue Dusty Rhodes to cancel Corino out by bullroping himself to Steve. Rhino pounds Sandman down fast but gets knocked to the floor to start the brawl.
Sandman throws in a table and loads it up in the corner before taking Rhino down with a hurricanrana. A piledriver onto the folded table gets no cover as Sandman has to take care of Corino (freed with some help from Jack Victory). Everyone comes in and I’m going to assume the match was thrown out somewhere in there. Not enough to rate but what were you expecting?
Tajiri runs out for the save and gets beaten down by an invading Scotty Anton. Van Dam comes in for the real save as Jerry Lynn watches to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. Interesting story/brawl, midcard match, midcard match, pants on fire, big wild brawl to end the show. Like I said earlier, it’s taking WAY too long to get anywhere with their big stories and it’s getting annoying trying. The real war with Heyman vs. the network is more interesting but at the same time it’s really hard to care when the wrestling is so all over the place and the stories move so slowly. It’s still entertaining enough but they need to do something before they’re thrown off the air.
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Summerslam Count-Up – 2009: When Smackdown Main Evented
Summerslam 2009
Date: August 23, 2009
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,129
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews
Not a lot has changed in the last year other than some names have risen up the card. Jeff Hardy is the Smackdown Champion and is defending tonight against the on fire CM Punk who is now a heel, bragging about how great he is due to being straightedge. We also have Orton vs. Cena #875 although only their second match here at Summerslam. It’s a decent looking card on paper so let’s get to it.
The opening video is set up like a movie theater, but DX takes it over by making shadow puppets on the screen. Shawn wins by putting up Abraham Lincoln. They finally break the projector but Shawn says he can fix it. He turns it into a DX highlight video but breaks the camera one more time.
Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler
Rey is defending after a long but awesome feud with Jericho. Ziggler pounds him down into the corner before getting two off a powerslam. Dolph throws him over his shoulders to the top but Rey bounces off with a moonsault press for two. Out to the floor and a cameraman is taken out via I think a hurricanrana. Back in and Ziggler catches (kind of) a rana off the top in a buckle bomb for two to take over.
We hit the chinlock before Dolph gets two off a side slam. The jumping elbow gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and Rey drop toeholds him into the corner before, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline for another near fall. A fireman’s carry gutbuster gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Rey fights up again and hits a hard kick to the head for a near fall of his own. Dolph comes back with a dropkick to take down a flying Mysterio for two more as these covers are getting very hot.
Back up and Rey tries to roll up Ziggler’s body into a sunset flip but Ziggler falls onto him for two. A wicked clothesline gets two more for the challenger but Rey kicks him into 619 position, only to have Ziggler drop to the floor. Back in and the Fameasser gets two for Dolph but Rey gets the same off a sunset flip.
Rey hits a kind of tornado DDT for two more and an armdrag sets up the 619 but Ziggler avoids the springboard splash. Ziggler gets a quick near fall off the miss and the fans are split on who to cheer for. A kick to Rey’s head sends him to the apron so Ziggler loads up a top rope gutbuster, only to have Rey counter into a hurricanrana in mid air to retain the title.
Rating: B+. Excellent opener here with Ziggler being able to go move for move with one of the best high fliers of all time. It was clear that Dolph was going to be a big deal and this was a great example of why. Rey was on fire at this point but he would be derailed by a Wellness violation a few weeks later, forcing him to drop the title to John Morrison.
Jack Swagger and MVP are in the back. Swagger says his match with MVP tonight is a culture clash between the All American American and an ex-con. MVP is nothing but a stepping stone but MVP says he made some bad decisions. Tonight he’s teaching Swagger a lesson and the teacher is an MVP.
Jack Swagger vs. MVP
MVP jumps over Swagger in the corner and hits a quick clothesline for two to start. Swagger rolls to the floor to avoid the Ballin Elbow, only to be caught by a suicide dive. Back in and Swagger gets in some shots to the ribs to take over followed by a forearm to the back. MVP counters another shot with an elbow to the face, only to get caught in an abdominal stretch.
A hard clothesline puts MVP down for two and it’s off to a camel clutch. MVP stands up and breaks the hold with an electric chair for two. This is really basic stuff and the fans aren’t all that thrilled. Back up and MVP pops him in the jaw with a right hand, setting up the Ballin Elbow for two. A big boot in the corner sets up the Playmaker for the pin on Swagger.
Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad but it was very dull. Neither guy did anything special out there and it was about six minutes of boring, yet acceptable, wrestling. Swagger would go on to a world title the following year for reasons no one can quite fathom while MVP would do nothing of note for the rest of his WWE run.
Luke Perry is here.
Video on celebrities guest hosting Raw. Did we really have to relive this stupid idea?
Nancy O’Dell from Access Hollywood is here to talk about her ALS charity. No one cares. At all. She interviews Freddy Prinze Jr., one of the recent guest hosts. O’Dell sounds like any other celebrity who has never watched a wrestling show before.
Tag Titles: Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme
Jericho and Show (I can’t stand those combined names) are defending and the belts are unified at this point, meaning the champions have two belts apiece. Jericho says he and Show are the real celebrities here tonight and that’s about it. JTG (how is he still employed in 2013? Seriously, I want an answer to that) starts against Jericho and a nice flip neckbreaker gets two on Chris. A quick Walls attempt is countered and JTG hits a middle rope leg lariat for two.
Todd Grisham: “They bring the right kind of flava eh JR?” JR: “Flava? Like barbecue or cheddar?” Off to Big Show who knocks JTG into the corner and puts on a hard headlock. JTG gets up a pair of boots in the corner before bringing in the much bigger Shad Gaspard. Jericho charges in but gets caught in a gorilla press. The distraction is enough to let Show run Shad over to take control again. A hard chop in the corner puts Shad down and it’s back to the Canadian.
Shad gets in a jawbreaker but Jericho is smart enough to knock JTG to the floor before there’s a hot tag. Show puts on a full nelson but throws Gaspard down to bring Jericho back in. We hit the chinlock before Shad fights up and hits a powerslam to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in JTG but the fans don’t care at all. Everything breaks down and a clothesline sends Shad and Show to the floor. JTG is put in the Walls but makes the rope, only to be knocked out by Big Show to retain the titles.
Rating: C-. The match was ok but I don’t think anyone believed the titles were in jeopardy. Cryme Tyme was a fun team (on occasion) but most of the time they were jobbers to the stars. Jericho and Big Show at least gave the tag titles some fresh life for a few months so I can’t complain about them all that much. The match was standard stuff though.
Punk has a screenplay called the Jeff Hardy Story. In the movie, Jeff survives and beats Punk tonight in the TLC match. That’s as phony as everyone here in LA, where the only real person is Punk himself. Punk goes on a rant against America’s obsession with cool pop culture and says no one makes movies about him because he doesn’t support the Hollywood lifestyle. Punk is FEELING IT here.
Kane vs. Great Khali
Here’s a Wrestlemania rematch that no one was asking for. Kane is the heel here and has attacked Khali’s brother a few times before this. Khali shoves him into the corner to start and throws Kane out to the floor. Back in and Khali clotheslines him down but misses a legdrop, allowing Kane to hit a low dropkick for two. Both guys break up chokeslams and Khali takes over again.
He pounds Kane on the mat for two and hits a hard chop in the corner. Khali charges (and I use that word loosely) into a boot in the corner, allowing Kane to hit the top rope clothesline for two. We hit the chinlock before Khali makes a slow motion comeback and chops Kane down for two. Kane pulls Runjin Singh (Khali’s brother) in and the distraction lets Kane dropkick Khali’s knee. A bad looking DDT is enough for Kane to get the pin.
Rating: D-. Erg why do they keep doing these battles of the giants when they know they’re going to suck? Khali was getting so slow at this point and it was easy to see where the insults about his abilities were coming from. Kane would float around for most of the next year until he saved Undertaker and won the world title as a result.
Slash, Robert Patrick and Maria Menunos are here.
We recap DX vs. Legacy. Rhodes and DiBiase had been destroying HHH for months so he made a call to Shawn. HHH then had to get Shawn out of his job as a short order cook (don’t ask) and tonight is the big reunion match against Legacy.
Legacy vs. D-Generation X
DX comes in on a tank, trailing behind a bunch of soldiers on an Army jeep. Ok points for an AWESOME entrance. HHH starts with DiBiase as Ted fires off right hands in the corner. They have even less effect than you would expect so HHH suplexes him down and drops a knee for two. Off to Cody who walks into the high knee to the face from the Game and slaps Shawn as a result. Shawn gets the tag to a big pop but gets slapped again after running the ropes a bit.
Fed up, Shawn tackles Cody down but gets pounded in the face a few more times. Shawn comes back with a Thesz Press and right hands to another big reaction. The Band is tuned up but Cody bails to the floor and comes back in to a headlock. A belly to back suplex puts Shawn down and it’s off to DiBiase to keep up the punching motif. Ted slams him down to stay on Shawn’s back but Michaels gets a quick neckbreaker for a breather.
The hot tag brings in HHH to clean part of the house but Cody breaks up a Pedigree attempt. Everything breaks down and HHH backdrops Michaels over the top and onto Cody. Ted gets in a cheap shot on HHH to take over, meaning we’re in for a long one here. Legacy takes over o the Game in the corner and the double teaming begins. DiBiase hooks a long chinlock, but HHH keeps fighting to get to Shawn. See how easily that can be done? Instead of just laying on the mat until it was time for the comeback, HHH is constantly moving and trying to keep the fans alive. That’s such a lost art and it’s rather sad.
Anyway HHH suplexes out of the hold but Cody comes in with a DDT to stop the tag to Michaels. Off to a front facelock and of course this time HHH lays on the mat after I praised him for one of the few times after the year 2000. HHH powers out of the hold but DiBiase breaks up another hot tag. You know HHH isn’t going to stand for that for very long so he launches Ted over the top and out to the floor and finally makes the tag to Shawn.
House is really cleaned now with Shawn picking Rhodes apart. The atomic drop sets up the flying forearm but DiBiase breaks up the nipup attempt. Everything breaks down and HHH sends DiBiase into the stands as Cody goes up, only to miss a top rope elbow. Shawn loads up his own elbow but gets crotched down onto the buckle. He can still block a superplex though and now the elbow launches, only to hit Cody’s knee. Shouldn’t that hurt the leg a lot more than Shawn?
There’s no DiBiase to tag so Shawn gets up and puts on a Figure Four, only to have DiBiase make the save. HHH can’t hit a Pedigree as Cody takes him down and actually hits Cross Rhodes on Shawn for two. Now a Pedigree connects on Cody but DiBiase hits Dream Street (cobra clutch slam) on Shaw. HHH and Ted fight on the floor as both guys are down in the ring. Both guys get up at the same time and it’s Sweet Chin Music to knock Cody senseless for the collapsing pin from Shawn.
Rating: B+. Another excellent match here with all four guys working the tag team formula to perfection. Shawn continues to be able to time a comeback like no one ever could and HHH was clicking tonight. Legacy looked great and would actually beat DX in the next month’s match. I was surprised by how well the rookies looked here and DX actually had to sweat a bit here. I wouldn’t say they were in jeopardy but it wasn’t an easy win by any stretch.
ECW Title: Christian vs. William Regal
Christian is defending. Remember Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry going 32 seconds last week? This is a quarter of that as Christian grabs the Killswitch as Regal is taking his robe off for the pin to retain.
Post match Regal’s heavies Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson lay out Christian so Regal can put on the Regal Stretch.
Video on the Summerslam festivities in Los Angeles.
We recap Orton vs. Cena. Orton has dominated the year and Cena is the latest guy to try to take the title. Not much here but do these two really need a backstory?
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton
Orton is defending. Cena takes him down with a front facelock but Orton counters into a hammerlock. Randy takes him into the corner and kicks at the ribs a bit, cuing a Cena comeback with rights and lefts. Orton comes back with an elbow to the face and his VERY slow stomping. This is the main criticism of Orton around this time: he wrestled in slow motion and it makes for very dull matches. The big knee drop to the chest gets two.
Cena comes back with some right hands but walks into the backbreaker for two. We hit the chinlock and the dueling chants begin. Cena finally powers up and initiates his finishing sequence. The Shuffle connects but Orton escapes the FU into the powerslam (NOT A SCOOP SLAM COLE, YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!) for two. Orton misses a knee drop but Cena’s shoulder block only hits air, sending him out to the floor. The Elevated DDT is good for two as Orton keeps things slow.
Cena gets in another shot and pops up top for the Fameasser, good for two. Orton grabs the ropes to block the FU and a double clothesline puts them both down. They slug it out with Cena taking over and speeding things up, but Orton shoves the referee for the LAME DQ. To be fair though it was the first fast paced thing he did all match.
Lillian, Rhodes Scholar that she is, calls Cena the new champion before saying Vince gave her word that the match restarts and if Orton gets DQ’d again he loses the title. This would be an entirely pointless bit that stopped the match cold. Back in and Orton takes over before whipping Cena into the steps. Orton slams him down and goes to get the title and walk out. We get the same announcement and the match continues again.
Back in and the STF, RKO and FU are all countered and Orton grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes for the pin. As you might expect, we’re STILL not done as a second referee comes out and tells the first what happened. So on the third restart Cena puts on the STF but a “fan” runs in for a distraction, stopping things cold again. Cena walks around with his hands on his hips but Orton comes in and hits an RKO to retain the title. For real this time.
Rating: D. On top of the INSANE overbooking, the match was really boring with Orton being his usual slow self. These two would feud forever and trade the title back and forth. The matches would get better but people were sick of seeing them fight at the end. This match was a great example of how overthinking can screw up a match. Brett DiBiase was the fan but that was never acknowledged on TV and I don’t think it was ever addressed again.
We recap the main event. This is a pure culture clash with Jeff Hardy being the free spirit and Punk being the serious straightedge guy who lives a very strict life. Punk cashed in MITB against Hardy at Extreme Rules but Jeff won the title back two months later. This gets the music video treatment with a song featuring lyrics of “I don’t want to be like you.” Nice touch.
Smackdown World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk
TLC match here. They fight over a lockup to start until Punk takes him into the corner for some knees to the chest. He stomps Hardy down and throws him to the floor before grabbing the first chair. A shot to the ribs and back allows Punk to go up but Hardy makes a quick save. Hardy stomps him down in the corner and hits the slingshot dropkick before going up. This time it’s Punk making the save but Hardy sends him into the ladder to put both guys down.
Back up and Hardy loads up Poetry in Motion but Punk drops him onto the open chair to take over. A series of ladder shots to the back have Hardy in big trouble. Punk sends him to the floor and hits a suicide dive but misses a chair shot. Hardy sends him into the post and gets in a chair shot to the elbow to take over. This is a slower paced match so far which is usually the best way to go about TLC matches. Now Poetry In Motion hits against the barricade and Punk is in trouble.
Hardy puts him on a table but Punk moves before Hardy can splash him through it, sending Hardy down in a big crash. We get another ladder in the ring as JR calls this a carcinogenic match. Punk goes up but Jeff literally jumps over him to go after it himself, only to get caught in an electric chair, only to counter that into a sunset bomb to put both guys down. The champion goes up first but Punk shoves him onto the corner in a SCARY landing with Jeff’s leg hitting the rope.
Punk says on him with a superplex onto the ladder in another cringe inducing landing. Somehow Jeff snaps off a quick Twist of Fate but the Swanton hits knees. Punk hits the running knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered by Hardy throwing Punk over the top and through a table. Jeff starts to climb but Punk is back up to dropkick Hardy off the ladder. They head outside with Punk’s knees being sent into the steps, allowing Hardy to go NUTS on Punk with a chair.
Hardy loads up a table next to the ring and this Punk in the head with part of the announce table and a monitor. A chair shot puts Punk down again as Hardy is in full control. Jeff sets up the big ladder and hits an INSANE Swanton Bomb through Punk through the announce table. That looked NUTS but the crash was great. Both guys are checked on as the stretcher is brought out. Hardy is taken out but Punk is crawling towards the ladder. Jeff gets off the stretcher and goes after Punk, only to be kicked off the ladder in another big crash, giving Punk the title.
Rating: A-. This was an excellent war with a great story being told: Punk played it safe while Hardy lived for the moment and lost the title as a result. The Swanton spot looked amazing and it was the last straw for Hardy as he just couldn’t keep getting up from all these crashes. Awesome match here and a great bit of storytelling.
Punk stands over Hardy with the title in the air and the lights go off. A gong strikes and the lights come up with Undertaker in Hardy’s place. He hits a huge chokeslam on Punk and poses on the stage to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. There’s some bad stuff on here but the good stuff far outweighs it. Its biggest problem is the Orton vs. Cena match which was slow and dull leading up to the STUPID ending. The other big matches delivered though and the opener is excellent. The show is worth watching, but pop in the Cena vs. Orton match from Breaking Point instead. Good show here that could have been a classic with a better Raw Title match.
Ratings Comparison
Dolph Ziggler vs. Rey Mysterio
Original: A-
Redo: B+
Jack Swagger vs. MVP
Original: C
Redo: D
Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme
Original: D+
Redo: C-
Kane vs. Great Khali
Original: D+
Redo: D-
D-Generation X vs. Legacy
Original: A
Redo: B+
William Regal vs. Christian
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
John Cena vs. Randy Orton
Original: B-
Redo: D
CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy
Original: A
Redo: A-
Overall Rating
Original: A-
Redo: B
The Cena vs. Orton match carries or sinks this show depending on how you look at it.
Summerslam 2008
Date: August 17, 2008
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 15,997
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker
For the first time in a few years, it feels like we’ve got a big card tonight. It’s a double main event with Undertaker vs. Edge inside the Cell and Cena vs. Batista for the first time ever. I remember being very fired up for this show when it first aired so hopefully it lives up to the hype after some very lackluster entries the last few years. Let’s get to it.
The theme this year is that this is the ultimate summer blockbuster. I’ve heard worse. This shifts into your standard opening video.
It’s another good song here with Ready to Roll by Jet Black Stare.
We run down the card because you might have ordered the show blind or something?
MVP vs. Jeff Hardy
Jeff is in the middle of the biggest story of his life, as he’s been chasing the world title all year. This resulted in one of the highest number of buys ever for the Rumble, yet he’s opening the show here in a midcard match. Makes sense in WWE world I guess. There isn’t much of a story here other than MVP has been messing with Jeff lately. Hardy starts with two right hands to send MVP to the floor and there’s a whip into the barricade. Back in and a slingshot legdrop gets two for Jeff and we hit the armbar.
MVP makes the ropes and the referee has to keep pulling Jeff out of the corner. Jeff eventually gets free and charges right into a snap belly to belly for two. MVP kicks him in the back and puts on something like a crucifix hold before rolling over into a camel clutch. Off to something like a side leg bar but MVP eventually lets it go. Jeff goes tot he apron but MVP knocks him out of the air to break up a springboard, getting two.
Jeff is put in the Tree of Woe so MVP picks him up and slams the top of his head into the mat. That’s a new one. MVP loads up something like a Gory Bomb but Jeff slips down the back and neckbreakers his way to freedom. The slingshot dropkick in the corner is countered by two feet to Hardy’s chest but Jeff avoids the Drive By kick in the corner. A sunset flip gets two for Jeff and the Whisper in the Wind puts MVP down again. Cue US Champion Shelton Benjamin to distract Hardy from the Swanton, allowing MVP to move. The Drive By kick is good for the pin on Jeff.
Rating: B-. Summerslam almost always has good openers and this is a good example. I never got into MVP like a lot of people did but this was a solid performance from him. Shelton had been involved with this feud as an accessory on Smackdown but it’s not exactly enough of a connection for the run-in here to work. Good match though.
Glamarella (Santino and Beth) is ready for their mixed tag winner take all match with Kofi and Mickie. Santino talks about the unibrow and how the tabloids love the new name for the two of them. Maria, Santino’s ex, is doing the interview so we get a stare down between the girls.
Intercontinental Title/Women’s Title: Glamarella vs. Mickie James/Kofi Kingston
Mickie and Kofi have both belts coming in but the winning team walks out with all the gold. Kofi is still relatively new here and has only won the IC Title once, as opposed to his 89 or so reigns now. The girls get things going with Beth easily overpowering James. Mickie comes back with some quick dropkicks for two before it’s off to Santino. James easily monkey flips him over before it’s off to Kofi for some of his usual stuff. The jumping punches in the corner have Santino on the floor where Beth yells at him.
Kingston loads up a charge but hangs on, only to send Santino jumping into Beth’s arms. Kofi pulls him back in but gets his neck snapped across the top rope for one. Beth beats on Kofi for a bit before bringing Santino back in for his basic offense. A suplex sets up a chinlock but Kofi fights up and butts heads with Santino, allowing for the double tags to the girls. Mickie cleans house and clotheslines Beth down before snapping off her hurricanrana on Beth. Kofi comes in and misses a charge like an idiot but the MickieDT puts Santino down. Beth decks Mickie and hits the Glam Slam for both titles.
Rating: D+. The match was nothing special and could have been on any given Raw. I don’t know of a better way they could have gotten the title on Santino though so you can’t fault the for trying. Kofi would begin his long float in the midcard which would last for the next several years other than a cup of coffee in the upper midcard. The girls looked good here but that’s about it.
Santino gets on Beth’s shoulders to celebrate.
Video on Shawn Michaels’ eye injury. He may not be able to continue wrestling due to the eye and for the first time he’s listening to his doctors. If they tell him it’s too bad, he’s walking away.
Here’s Shawn with his wife for the announcement. Shawn talks about how his doctors have re-evaluated his eye and it looks like he’s going to have to walk away. He remembers his first Summerslam and since then the fans have let him become the Heart Break Kid and Mr. Wrestlemania. He’s also the guy who screwed Bret Hart (wasn’t that Hebner?), the man who formed DX, the man who lost his smile and the man who retired Ric Flair. Now though he can be a full time husband and a full time father…..and here’s Jericho, the man who injured Shawn’s eye.
Jericho, currently an awesome heel rocking a suit, says that he’s not accepting this. Shawn isn’t leaving due to an eye injury on his own terms. He wants Shawn to admit that he’s walking away because of what Jericho did to him and nothing else. Shawn gets serious and says to get out of the ring but Jericho wants to hear that Shawn is leaving because of him. Shawn needs to admit it to his wife, his children, himself and to Jericho. All of Shawn’s accomplishments don’t matter because the epitaph of his career will be that he was forced to walk away because of Chris Jericho.
Shawn says he’ll admit it and tell his wife and kids what Jericho wants to hear on one condition: if Jericho goes home to his wife and kids and tells them that he never could be Shawn Michaels. BURN! Shawn goes to walk away but Jericho swings, only to hit Shawn’s wife, knocking her out cold. What a man that Shawn is, ducking when his wife was behind him. You know it’s on at Unforgiven now and the fans are eating this stuff up. This was the feud of the year in 2008 and there’s no arguing that.
ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy
Matt earned the title by doing something not important enough to explain to us. These two teamed up on ECW with Mark attacking his partner, injuring his ribs. Mark hits a quick forearm to the back but misses a charge, allowing Matt to hit the Twist of Fate, drawing in Henry’s manager Tony Atlas for the DQ 30 seconds in.
Jeff Hardy comes out to make the save and the Hardys suplex Henry.
We recap CM Punk vs. JBL. Punk cashed in the MITB case a few weeks ago on Raw to bring the World Heavyweight Championship to Raw. JBL bullied Punk and called him a footnote in wrestling. It’s a basic story but sometimes that’s the best idea, which is the case here.
Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Punk was basically a glorified midcarder at this point but his time would come. JBL shoves Punk into the corner to start and a hard shoulder puts the champion down. Punk comes back with a flying forearm to send him to the outside and a suicide dive fires the fans up even more. Back in and a high cross body gets a one count for Punk but another shoulder block puts him down. Punk tries to go up, only to be taken down by a middle rope fall away slam for two.
JBL goes after the back and we hit the bearhug. This is a basic big guy vs. little guy formula so far but again there’s nothing wrong with that at all. Punk fights out of it as the fans are getting rowdy. We stay on the back as JBL continues his basic power offense. Back to a side grip on Punk’s ribs on the mat before we go old school with an abdominal stretch. Punk fights out and hits the knee in the corner/bulldog combo but the ribs give out on the GTS attempt. JBL takes him back down and drops some elbows for two.
The clothesline misses and Punk starts firing off his strikes, hitting a high kick to the head for two. A springboard clothesline is countered into a powerslam for two and JBL yells at the referee a lot. Another clothesline attempt from JBL is countered with a leg lariat to put both guys down. They hit heads as JBL fell and Punk is busted open from the back of his head. Layfield blocks another knee/bulldog combo by putting Punk on the buckle for a belly to back superplex. There much be something really wrong because Punk pops up and hits a quick GTS to retain. Oh yeah there’s a BIG blood spot from where Punk was laying on the mat.
Rating: C+. This needed a few more minutes but with a legit cut that bad you have to go home in a hurry. Obviously Punk was going to win the entire time so it’s not like the ending was changed that badly. What we did get was good stuff with a basic story that is going to work time after time and did so here.
We recap HHH vs. Great Khali. Again not much to say here: HHH won the Smackdown Title and dominated for a few months until Khali was one of the few challengers he had left. Again it’s your basic hero vs. monster but the question coming in is can HHH Pedigree Khali. He tries for weeks leading up but never could pull it off.
Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Great Khali
The Game is defending. HHH is a very tall man in his own right and is probably a foot shorter than Khali. The champion pounds away but has to stick and move to not get killed. That doesn’t blow HHH’s skirt up though so he tries the Pedigree. Khali easily grabs HHH and hits his Punjabi Plunge (two handed chokeslam finisher) but doesn’t cover. Instead he loads up his Vice (head squeeze) but HHH kicks at the long legs to escape. A chop block puts Khali down and out to the floor where his manager Runjin Singh tries to calm him down.
HHH, ever the bright guy, charges at Khali again and is chopped down with ease. Back inside and Khali pounds away with some elbows in the corner to drop the champion. The fans tell Khali that he can’t wrestle as he puts one foot on HHH for a cover. Off to a nerve hold by the challenger followed by a slam and legdrop. Back to the nerve hold for a bit before HHH fights up and hits the facebuster. It doesn’t put Khali on the mat but it does tie him up in the ropes.
Khali will have none of this being in trouble though as he lifts up his boot to kick HHH down before freeing himself from the ropes. Back up and HHH tries the Pedigree again, only to be backdropped out to the floor. A hard chop puts HHH down again and as they come back in there’s the vice grip again. HHH almost breaks the hold but Khali gets it back on for a few more seconds. A charge misses the champion in the corner and he FINALLY hits the Pedigree to retain the title.
Rating: C+. This match, while slow, was a great example of psychology in a wrestling match. HHH knew that there was only one move he could use to hurt Khali and give him a chance for the win so it was the only thing he tried for most of the match. This was HHH working around someone and it worked quite well as HHH is a very talented wrestler, which unfortunately is often forgotten.
We recap Cena vs. Batista. Cena accidentally punched Batista in a tag match on Raw, triggering a brawl between the two. It became exactly what it should have been: a showdown between the two guys who had carried the company for the last three years. This was one of the few dream matches they had built up for years and belonged as a PPV main event. Cena said he had been wanting this match for six years because he just didn’t know if he could beat Batista.
John Cena vs. Batista
Batista shoves Cena back to start before grabbing a headlock. Cena comes back with a quick slam and Batista stops to take a breather. A big clothesline puts Cena down and a Jackhammer gets two. Cena comes right back with a suplex of his own for two but Batista puts him down with a side slam. A quick FU attempt is countered and Batista goes after the leg. Off to a Figure Four on Cena (just like Flair, he puts it on the wrong leg) who can’t power out so we get a rope grab instead for the break.
Back up immediately and Cena throws Batista to the floor in something resembling an FU before collapsing down. Back in again and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks and the ProtoBomb to set up the Shuffle. The FU is countered again and Batista kicks him in the face to put both guys down. Batista drives shoulders into the corner and catches him in the spinebuster to put Cena down. Cena backdrops out of the Batista Bomb and hits a DDT on the leg to set up the STFU. Batista FINALLY crawls over and gets a rope to shock Cena.
Batista gets up and escapes another FU to hook a rear naked choke of all things. Cena fights out of a hold as well, only to get caught by a spear for a VERY close two. They’re in full on main event mode here and it’s getting very awesome. Cena counters a powerslam into an FU but can’t follow up due to exhaustion. It’s finally good for two so Cena goes up with nowhere else to go.
Batista is up as well and they slug it out on top with Batista being knocked to the mat. Cena tries the Fameasser but gets caught in a Batista Bomb…..for two, plus a neck injury that required three months off (I seem to remember that happening earlier but WWE said it was here). Not that it matters as Batista goes into Animal Mode and ENDS Cena with a Batista Bomb for the pin.
Rating: A-. This is exactly what it was supposed to be: the two top guys in the company going to war with only one left standing. It’s a great fight in the vein of Rock vs. Austin from back in the day. Almost no complaints here and it felt like a major match on a major stage. What else can you ask for here?
The Cell is lowered.
We recap Edge vs. Undertaker. They fought for the world title at Wrestlemania with Taker winning the title (duh) before Edge’s wife Vickie Guerrero stripped him of the title for using the Hell’s Gate, which was declared illegal. Edge won the title in a TLC match and Taker left for a bit, but Edge got caught cheating with his wedding planner (Alicia Fox). Vickie reinstated Taker and set up the Cell match here tonight. Edge got Mick Foley to try to find out how to beat Undertaker in the Cell (even though Foley lost) and was told to bring back the Rated R Superstar inside of him. Edge beat up Foley and was back.
Edge vs. Undertaker
It takes two minutes and forty five seconds from Taker’s gong to him slamming the Cell door closed. Edge fires off right hands in the corner but walks into a big boot. We head outside the ring so Edge can be rammed into the steel. A series of headbutts puts Edge down and Taker whips him hard into the steps. Vickie and company (La Familia) is watching in the back.
Back inside now but with steps involved as well. The Snake Eyes drop Edge on the steps but he blocks the big boot and sends Taker into the steps instead. Edge hits a spear to a seated dead man but doesn’t go for a cover. Instead he grabs a table but stops to knock Taker out with the steps to the head. Edge gets another table but doesn’t slide either of them into the ring. The table is set up on the floor instead but Edge has to fight out of a chokeslam attempt instead of sending Taker through it.
Now it’s chair time with Edge dropping Taker again. Here’s a third table but the first one actually brought into the ring. Edge pulls out a ladder as TLCHIAC continues. Another chair shot puts Taker down as we have a ladder, a table and steps in the ring. Three of the four things are used as Edge puts Taker on the table and picks up the chair before climbing the ladder. He drives the dead man through the table in the same spot he used on Foley a few weeks ago. Nice touch.
It’s only good for two though so it’s time for a Conchairto, only to have Taker grab Edge by the throat. Edge breaks free but gets caught in a big right hand to put him back down. A bit boot sends Edge into the cage and Taker crushes his head with the steps for good measure. Edge posts Taker to get a breather and uses the steps as a launching pad to knock Taker through the Cell. Taker’s arm is bleeding a bit.
They fight at the announce table before Edge is sent into the barricade to put him down again. Taker misses a monitor shot to the head, allowing Edge to crack him in the head with it instead. In the big spot of the match, Edge runs the announce tables for a big spear to Undertaker, putting both guys down. Edge can’t follow up so Taker wins a slug out and they head back inside, drawing some moderate booing. Back in and a ladder to the face gives Edge control again and a chair shot gets two.
Taker counters the spear into a chokeslam for a close two and Taker is getting frustrated. The Last Ride is countered by a low blow and an Impaler gets two. Back up and Taker loads up the Last Ride again but wants it through the tables on the floor. Edge slips over the top and hits the spear for a very close two. Now the Last Ride connects but Edge gets out at two.
Taker loads up a tombstone off the steps but Edge counters into an Edge-O-Matic onto the steps for two. Now Edge loads up Old School but Taker crotches him down and chokeslams him through the tables on the floor. Back in and Undertaker spears Edge down and breaks a camera over his head. A Conchairto crushes Edge’s skull and the tombstone finally ends this.
Rating: A. THIS is how you blow off a feud. Edge was completely destroyed at the end here with Undertaker hitting every big move he had and Edge not kicking out of them at all. These two had some great action all year long and the Cell is the best way to blow the whole thing off. Having it as a TLC match inside the Cell was fine and it made for a great main event.
Taker leaves but Edge very slowly gets up. The big man goes back inside and sets up the ladder before lifting Edge onto it. Taker throws in another ladder and climbs up next to Edge so he can throw the Canadian down through the mat. He raises his arms up and lights the hole on fire to end the show in a corny moment.
Overall Rating: A-. This was pretty awesome all around. The opener was good, one match didn’t count, the title matches were both decent to good and the main events both rocked. You could say the tag match wasn’t very good but it’s less than six minutes long and Santino makes it entertaining enough. This is one of the better shows they’ve had in the series and it’s well worth checking out.
Monday Night Raw – December 18, 1995: The Tennessee Invasion
Monday Night Raw Date: December 18, 1995 Location: Bob Carpenter Center, Newark, Delaware
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
We’re FINALLY past the nightmare that was the December taping cycle and In Your House V. Bret Hart retained the WWF World Title (shocking I know) and Undertaker beat Mabel in the casket match (shocking again) and that’s about it for anything of note from that pay per view. Tonight we have Razor Ramon vs. Yokozuna for Razor’s Intercontinental Title. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last night, including Diesel and Undertaker staring each other down to plant seeds for Wrestlemania.
Opening sequence.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Fatu
This is Jarrett’s return after a long absence. Fatu dances a lot and makes a difference by atomic dropping Jarrett out to the floor. Back in and a shot to the head has no effect on Fatu but Jeff sends him throat first into the ropes for the running crotch attack to the back of the head. Jarrett rams him into the steps and actually has some success as we go to a break. Jeff slowly beats on Fatu but dives into a punch to the ribs. Fatu hits a powerslam and corner clothesline for two until he crashes down and holds his shoulder. It’s time for the Figure Four but Ahmed Johnson comes in to jump Jarrett for the DQ.
Rating: D. It’s not a good sign when Jeff Jarrett’s big return match is put in the perfect kind of spot for him and the match wound up being this bad. Jarrett just isn’t interesting in the ring and he’s not interesting on the mic either. Other than that he’s just fine though. That ending seemed to be improvised though as Fatu looked hurt off the crash landing.
Ahmed beats Jarrett up and helps Fatu to the back.
Gorilla Monsoon says Diesel can get over Undertaker being named #1 contender. As for the Royal Rumble, Jeff Jarrett won’t be in the Rumble itself because he’ll be facing Ahmed Johnson.
The graphic for Razor vs. Yokozuna is really weird as Razor is in the middle and Yokozuna is off to the side with most of his left arm cut off.
Goldust wants to sleep with Razor Ramon.
We see a clip from last night with Diesel getting in Undertaker’s face about Undertaker being #1 contender.
Buddy Landel vs. Bob Holly
Landel is a Ric Flair knockoff/ripoff/tribute character and even had Flair’s 1992 theme music here. Holly armdrags him down to start but Landel takes it back to 1985 with every Flair move you can think of, even down to his mannerisms. Buddy keeps it on the mat and starts working on the leg before getting two off a backdrop. We FINALLY get to the comeback with Holly hitting right hands and a clothesline but he misses a dropkick, allowing Buddy to drop a jumping elbow for the pin.
Rating: F. I sat through almost seven minutes of these two boring the fans to death and the best I can get is an ELBOW DROP? They had no idea what to do to counter Nitro at this point and if the best they can do is back to back old school Tennessee style matches like they’ve spent the first half of this show airing, they deserve to get squashed.
To make it even better, it’s the Brother Love Show with Ted DiBiase. The topic tonight: DiBiase having his answer to Santa Claus with Xanta Klaus, who lives at the South Pole and steals presents from kids. Now he’s going to steal victory after victory (oh dear) because 1996 is going to be the year of the Million Dollar Team and the Million Dollar Champion.
Raw Bowl ad. Did they really think this was some brilliant idea?
Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Yokozuna
Razor is defending and here’s Goldust to watch from ringside. The champ quickly knocks Yokozuna out to the floor to start and we look at Goldust during the lull. Back in and Razor hammers away with everything he’s got before having to avoid a sitdown splash. Yokozuna takes him down with ease and grabs the nerve hold because he already needs a break.
Razor gets up because it’s just a fat man nerve hold and hits some clotheslines. Back from a break with Razor having to fight out of another nerve hold. Razor fights up, stops a charge in the corner and hits the middle rope bulldog……as Undertaker comes out with a casket. Yokozuna panics and runs away because THESE TWO HAVE TO FEUD FOREVER.
Rating: D. Match of the night here until the horrible ending. Was anyone asking for another casket match between Undertaker and Yokozuna? Like, wasn’t the Undertaker’s spirit rising out of the casket and then Chuck Norris enough for us? Thankfully this didn’t go anywhere of note and Undertaker would move on to the main event and then his much better feuds in 1996.
Razor is actually flattered that Goldust likes him but he’s just into women.
And to wrap it up, Tell Me A Lie, a video tribute to Shawn Michaels who might never return.
Overall Rating: F. That might be the worst episode of Raw that I’ve ever seen. The first half of the show is spent on Jeff Jarrett and Buddy Landel, neither of whom could keep the fans awake let alone interested. After that we have an Intercontinental Title match with Razor bouncing off Yokozuna before Undertaker comes out for really not much of a reason.
I mean, there was the face crushing last month but Undertaker is getting a title shot at the Royal Rumble and is pretty clearly about to fight Diesel soon after that. Why do I need to see him with Yokozuna? Absolutely horrible show here with almost no effort, nothing interesting, and now I have Tell Me A Lie stuck in my head. Thanks Raw, for irritating me this badly.
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In Your House V: Seasons Beatings (2013 Redo): It Wasn’t THAT Bad
In Your House #5: Seasons Beatings Date: December 17, 1995
Location: Hersheypark Arena, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 7,289
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
In addition to the main event of British Bulldog challenging Bret Hart for the WWF World Title, this is the first In Your House to feature the Undertaker on the pay per view (he had wrestled in several post PPV dark matches already). It’s rather interesting that one of the biggest and certainly most unique stars in the company hadn’t appeared in the first four editions of a PPV series and I’m not sure why he hadn’t. Anyway tonight he faces King Mabel in his signature match: the casket match. Let’s get to it.
The opening video starts with various symbols of Christmas before transitioning to shots of the Hart Family splitting apart as well as the Bulldog pinning Bret Hart at Summerslam 1992 in a masterpiece.
Santa Claus is here handing out presents.
Jerry Lawler promises us a big surprise.
Razor Ramon/Marty Jannetty vs. Sycho Sid/1-2-3 Kid
The Kid is full heel now and a part of the Million Dollar Team. Goldust rubs his chest while watching Razor come to the ring. Marty and the Kid start things off with Jannetty scoring with an enziguri for two. Some shoulder blocks and a clothesline get the same on the Kid and Marty goes over for the tag, freaking the Kid out. An atomic drop has Kid in trouble and now it’s off to Razor for the showdown. The Kid bails to the floor for a second but gets a toothpick in his face back inside.
Razor is having a good time but a blind tag brings in Sid to take over for the Million Dollar Team. Back to the Kid for a kick to the face but Razor glares at him after some chops. Sid comes back in to pound Ramon down and get cheered by the crowd in a surprising reaction. Razor comes back with some right hands and a double clothesline puts both guys down. A double tag brings in Marty to run over the Kid again and a powerslam is good for two.
A front flip facebuster out of the corner gets two on the Kid and it’s off to a camel clutch of all things. We go to Todd Petingill in the crowd with Goldust who quotes movie lines and expresses his lust for Ramon. This goes on for several minutes but at least we’re on split screen. Goldust asks Todd to give Razor a letter. Back to the match and Marty punches his way out of the corner but his cross body is caught in a powerslam for two.
Back to the Kid for a bad looking slam and a better looking guillotine legdrop for two before it’s back to Sid. Ramon gets suckered into the ring but gets in a right hand to the Kid. Marty is turned inside out by a clothesline and it’s off to a chinlock. Kid comes back in to drop a leg and then bring Sid back inside for some shots to the back.
It’s the Kid in again but he misses a charge in the corner, allowing for the tag off to Razor as things speed up. The fallaway slam puts Kid on the floor but Sid breaks up the Razor’s Edge. Not that it matters as Razor hits a quick middle rope bulldog (his finisher before he was in the WWF) for the pin.
Rating: D+. Not a terrible match but it went on too long for what they were going for. Jannetty was an odd choice as Razor’s partner against DiBiase’s boys as he was basically fighting everyone himself, but it was all about the him vs. the Kid anyway. Nothing much to see here and not the best choice for an opening match.
Here’s Jerry Lawler in the ring with a present for the returning Jeff Jarrett. After sucking up to Jeff for awhile, the present is opened to reveal a gold record of Ain’t I Great, Jeff’s single from six months earlier. Jarrett brags about how great he is and it doesn’t make anything more interesting. The only thing of note is he enters himself in the Royal Rumble.
Dean Douglas vs. Ahmed Johnson
Douglas says he has a back injury and can’t wrestle, so here’s his prized student Buddy Landell.
Buddy Landell vs. Ahmed Johnson
This is actually a joke, as Buddy Landell is a Ric Flair ripoff and comes to the ring to Flair’s WWF music in a Flair style robe. Douglas hates Flair in real life (never mentioned here of course), so it’s supposed to be funny that Douglas is Flair’s teacher or something like that. Not that it matters as Ahmed, a muscular monster with one of the most intimidating looks ever, destroys Landell and beats him with a Pearl River Plunge (double underhook powerbomb) in 32 seconds.
Post match Johnson paddles Douglas with the Board of Education. This would be Douglas’ last appearance. Lawler interviews Johnson and calls him stupid, allowing Jarrett to break the gold record over Johnson’s head. Jeff also gets in a few chair shots and rams Ahmed into the steps a couple of times, but Ahmed no sells them and chases Jarrett off.
Todd gives Razor the letter from Goldust and Ramon is disgusted, because it’s 1995 and anyone gay has to be a heel right?
Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Henry Godwinn
This is a hogpen match, meaning there’s an actual hog pen with pigs and mud near the entrance and the winner is the first man to send his opponent into said pin. Why is this match happening you ask? Simply put it’s because Godwinn is a hog farmer so he associates with hogs. One note characters like him had a lot to do with the downfall of the WWF at this point, as there’s no interest to such characters, meaning there’s no reason to stick around and watch them. The guest referee is 1980s crowd favorite Hillbilly Jim.
Godwinn slops the ring announcer before the match starts for no apparent reason. Helmsley jumps Godwinn but is quickly sent to the floor for his efforts. Back in and Henry ties him in the ropes so he can rub more slop in Helmsley’s face. After nearly retching, Helmsley takes it back to the floor, only to be bulldogged face first into the steps.
They head up the pen with Henry being whipped into the gate but still managing to block a Pedigree attempt with a backdrop. Helmsley lands on the edge of the pen and kicks Henry down before dropping an elbow to the chest. Lawler makes Jeff Foxworthy style jokes about being from Arkansas as they head back inside where Godwinn hits a big wheelbarrow slam. Helmsley is whipped to two corners and out to the floor for another handful of slop. Henry hits the Slop Drop up by the pen but can’t follow up. Instead he charges at Helmsley and gets backdropped into the slop to end things.
Rating: C-. This actually wasn’t that bad as it was a regular match until the ending. Again though, why am I supposed to care? It’s the lowest level of comedy and storytelling possible, which doesn’t mean it’s necessarily bad, but we have no reason to care about either of these guys so why should I be interested in the match?
Post match Henry slams Helmsley into the pen for fun. That’s a nice idea as at least the fans get the (limited) payoff.
We recap Diesel’s change of attitude since he lost the world title at Survivor Series, which has seen him act much more aggressive. This was what he should have been doing as champion.
Diesel vs. Owen Hart
This is a revenge match for Diesel as Owen kicked Shawn Michaels in the head and put him on the shelf as a result. Diesel launches Owen into the corner to start and hits a big side slam for no cover. The arena is full of smoke from Diesel’s entrance. Owen comes back with some right hands but Diesel easily throws him to the outside for a meeting with Cornette.
Back in and Owen scores with a missile dropkick before going after Diesel’s knee to take him down. A spinwheel kick gets two on Diesel but he easily kicks Hart away to break up a spinning toe hold. Diesel comes back with a big boot and the Jackknife (“This is for you Shawn!”) but he takes his foot off Owen’s chest at two. The referee begs him to let it end so Diesel shoves him down for the DQ.
Rating: D+. The match was going along pretty well until the stupid ending. I understand that they’re trying to push Diesel as being more aggressive, but having him lose isn’t the way to go about doing that. This is Diesel’s third straight PPV loss which doesn’t make me think he’s a monster but rather a guy who can’t finish his opponents.
Here are Savio Vega and Santa Claus to hand out presents to the fans, but Ted DiBiase interrupts them. He says everyone has a price and calls them both into the ring. DiBiase doesn’t believe Santa can make it around the world in one night but he knows someone who can. Savio says he doesn’t have a price and says he believes in Santa.
However, this isn’t the real Santa. It’s really…..XANTA CLAUS, Santa’s evil brother from the south pole who steals presents from children. I wish I was making this up but I promise you it’s real. Xanta lays out Savio and leaves with DiBiase but Savio chases after them, only to get beaten up again. Vince: “SAY IT’S NOT SO!!!” Xanta is played by future ECW mainstay Balls Mahoney.
Mabel says he isn’t scared of the Undertaker, who has returned after having his face crushed by Mabel and Yokozuna. Tonight it’s a casket match, meaning you have to put your opponent in a casket and close the lid to win.
King Mabel vs. Undertaker
Mable now has a very stupid looking mohawk to go with his stupid looking gold and purple pajamas. He jumps Undertaker to start but Undertaker comes back with rights and lefts in the corner. Mabel takes him down with a Boss Man Slam but Undertaker pops right back up. A clothesline gets the same result but a slam keeps Undertaker down for a bit. Mabel goes up for a middle rope splash but Taker moves to avoid probably death. Instead a belly to belly and legdrop keep Undertaker down and there’s a splash for good measure.
Mabel and Sir Mo roll Taker into the casket but don’t shut the lid because they’re not that bright. Undertaker blocks the eventual lid closure as Mabel is dancing in the ring with his crown. Back in and Taker pounds away before kicking Mabel into the casket. Mo’s save is easily thwarted with a chokeslam and he gets thrown in as well. Undertaker takes back the necklace made from the Urn (don’t ask) and slams the lid shut for the win.
Rating: D+. This was about as perfect as you could get to end the Undertaker vs. Mabel feud but it doesn’t help that we had to sit through it for so many months. Thankfully Mabel was gone soon after this with his last notable appearance coming in January. Undertaker is a good force to have back in the company as he was probably the third most popular guy in the company at this point.
Post match Undertaker motions that he wants the WWF Title.
Jim Cornette walks us through Bret’s history with the Bulldog, who is married to Bret’s sister. Unlike in 1992 where the sister Diana was split on who to cheer for, she’s firmly in her husband’s corner tonight.
Bret says he’s making up for 1992 tonight.
WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog
The much stronger Bulldog shoves the champion into the corner to start but Bret grabs an armbar to take over. Davey flips around a lot but ultimately takes Bret down by the hair like a true villain should. Back to the armbar by Bret as we take a look at Cornette’s tennis racket cover which looks like Santa Claus’ face. Bret gets two off a cross body and goes right back to the arm. Smith comes back with another hair pull before tying Bret up in the Tree of Woe (hanging him upside down in the corner) to stomp away.
Off to the chinlock as the fans are solidly behind Bret. They soon get bored of cheering for him though and start chanting for the then upstart promotion ECW. Vince informs us that the Undertaker has challenged the winner of this match for the Royal Rumble. After a Cornette tennis racket shot we’re in the third chinlock less than ten minutes into the match before the required chest first bump into the buckle gets two on Hart.
A backdrop puts Bret down for two more and we hit the chinlock again. At least this time he makes it a headlock as the fans chant USA, in theory for the Canadian champion. Bret comes back with a monkey flip and a bulldog to the Bulldog for two. A piledriver lays Smith out for two more but Bulldog crotches Bret on the ropes to break up a superplex. Bret falls to the floor and the fans want a table. Instead they get the champion being sent into the steps as Bulldog is in control.
Smith sends him hard into the barricade and Bret is busted wide open. Back in and Bulldog piledrives Bret down for a near fall before pounding at the cut on the forehead. The delayed vertical suplex gets the same and there’s a gorilla press slam for good measure. Bulldog channels his former partner the Dynamite Kid with a headbutt to the back for two. Smith seems to have hurt his knee though so Bret tries a quick Sharpshooter, only to have Smith break it up just as easily.
A hard shoulder puts Bret onto the floor so Smith can try to get some feeling back into his knee. Bret counters a suplex back inside into a rollup for yet another near fall before a double clothesline puts both guys down. They’re quickly back up and a backdrop puts Smith on the floor. Bret is ticked off now and dives over the top to pound away on Smith even more. Davey will have none of that though and powerslams Bret down on the floor to suck the life out of the crowd.
The protective mats are peeled back but Bret blocks a suplex by crotching Davey on the barricade in a nice callback to earlier in the match. Bret clotheslines him off the barricade and heads back inside where a backbreaker gets two. Now the superplex connects for two and an O’Connor Roll gets the same. In a really sudden finish, Bulldog charges into a boot in the corner and Bret cradles him for the pin. The look on Diana’s face makes the ending even better as it almost says “HOW DARE YOU KEEP THE TITLE!”
Rating: B-. This got WAY better in the end but the first ten minutes or so of this were pretty dreadful. Also the ending didn’t do it any favors as I was expecting a callback to the Summerslam 1992 match but we didn’t get anything close to it. Still though, good match and by far the best thing we’ve had on one of these shows in the last two shows.
Paul Bearer (Undertaker’s odd manager) and Undertaker are pleased that they get a title shot at the Royal Rumble. Diesel comes in and says it’s his shot. The giants stare each other down to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. While this isn’t a good show, it’s WAY better than the previous two entries in the series. Bret is just better as champion as he can work with almost any style and get a better match out of most people. The rest of the card was pretty horrible, but things would be changing quickly around here which is the best thing that could have happened for the WWF.
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Monday Night Raw – December 11, 1995: GET TO JANUARY ALREADY!
Monday Night Raw Date: December 11, 1995 Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 4,500 Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
It’s the go home show for In Your House V and thank goodness for that. This show will see Bret Hart facing Bob Backlund in a non-title match which could range anywhere from a great display of wrestling psychology to one of the most boring matches you’ll see this year. Other than that we’re probably in for some bad wrestling from one note characters. Let’s get to it.
Vince and the King talk about how Bob Backlund is spreading a disease called the crossface chickenwing and Bret Hart hopes to have the cure.
Shawn Michaels will talk tonight.
Opening sequence.
Owen Hart vs. Jeff Hardy
Owen has Yokozuna, Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji in his corner. A knee to the ribs puts Jeff down as we see Diesel watching in the back. Owen punches him in the ropes and a missile dropkick makes things even worse. Hart teases the Sharpshooter but decides to just cover Jeff to make him obsolete.
Post match Yokozuna hits a Banzai Drop to leave Hardy broken. Am I allowed to say that? Owen gives him a bonus Sharpshooter, drawing out Diesel for the save. I can always go with a fired up Diesel hitting people at a run.
Aja Kong vs. Chapparita Asari
Asari is rather tiny, especially next to the monster Kong. Things start fast with Asari handspringing into back to back mule kicks, only to be run over by a Vader style standing splash. A hard right hand to the face sets up a harder suplex to plant Asari. Kong goes a bit ahead of her time with a package piledriver for two as King makes fat jokes because men in wrestling are horrible people. Aja misses a splash but avoids the Sky Twister Press (it’s as cool as it sounds) and SMASHES Asari with a spinning backfist for the pin and a lot of blood from Asari’s nose.
Rating: B. This was a squash but sweet goodness Aja Kong looked amazing with those hard hitting shots. Asari was destroyed but when your two moves are a handspring mule kick and the Sky Twister Press, I can only be so critical. Kong probably would have been Women’s Champion after beating Alundra Blayze if Alundra wasn’t a week away from trashing the title on Nitro.
Todd Pettengill sits down with Shawn Michaels, who says he’s feeling better and his symptoms are going away. Shawn thinks he’s awesome but Todd cuts him off by saying he had a great career without being WWF World Champion. Michaels says he’s got goals to achieve but Todd mentions retirement and Shawn is done talking.
Ahmed Johnson vs. Rick Stockhauser
The spinebuster and Pearl River Plunge wrap up the jobber in about a minute.
Post match Johnson says he’s ready for Dean Douglas but calls himself a man of few words. No arguments there.
And now, the bizarre portion of our show. We go to a kid looking at a police lineup consisting of Razor Ramon, Yokozuna, Hakushi, another wrestler and a normal person in Santa Claus outfits. The kid identifies the one in the middle as the man who told him that smoking is good for you, all wrestlers are wimps and SANTA CLAUS ISN’T REAL. The wrestlers then procede to BEAT THE MAN HALF TO DEATH, including Razor loading him up for a Razor’s Edge on the concrete floor. “Happy Holidays from the WWF!”
Raw Bowl ad. I still have no idea why I’m supposed to be interested in a football themed show, but I could go for Freddie Blassie as a football coach every day.
Here are Ted DiBiase, Sid and the 1-2-3 Kid for a chat. DiBiase says they’re one big happy family and Razor isn’t going to get his hands on the Kid without Sid being right there waiting on him. Kid knows you don’t worry about the fans because all that matters is the money you make from winning. Sid is ready for anything Razor and Jannetty can do because he and Kid are family. The beating is going to be fun and Sid is going to enjoy it. That’s about it as this feud really isn’t doing much for me.
Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart
Non-title. British Bulldog’s wife/Bret’s sister Diana Smith is in the audience. Bret takes it to the mat to start and Backlund bails to the ropes. A headscissors slows Bret down but he comes right back with a front facelock. We go split screen to see Lawler interviewing Diana Smith and she doesn’t have much to say, as usual. To be fair she wasn’t a performer and it’s not fair to expect her to be a great talker.
The dull wrestling continues as the lights seem to get dark, implying that the fans are leaving. We take a quick break and come back with Bob holding his back on the floor. Bob starts in on the arm with the chickenwing but Bret is quickly in the ropes. Lawler spends this section of the match talking about music as we hit the armbar on Bret.
A Fujiwara Armbar kills even more time and we hear about Frank Sinatra’s birthday. The armbarring continues as this is dying before my eyes. Not before the fans’ eyes as they’re likely asleep at home by this point. Another break takes us to Bret coming back with his usual but Bulldog comes in for the DQ.
Rating: D. For a pairing that should give you a dream match, these two really don’t put up great matches most of the time they’re together. Maybe it’s the styles being too similar, maybe it’s the expectations the match creates or maybe they just don’t have chemistry but for some reason these two know how to bore the heck out of the audience more often than not. I can go for a technical style such as their Survivor Series 1994 match but this was just boring.
Backlund puts on the crossface chickenwing as Bulldog stomps away a lot to wrap up the show.
Overall Rating: D. GET TO JANUARY ALREADY! This month and the build to this horrible pay per view feels like it’s been going on for eighteen yeas now and the show still isn’t interesting. We have a rematch from three years ago, an uninteresting tag match and Owen Hart vs. Diesel and a few other matches that didn’t get time tonight (and likely shouldn’t have). The show itself would be better than the TV this month but that’s really not saying much given how boring this stuff has been lately. Another bad show to add to the December pile.
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Monday Night Raw – December 4, 1995: Sign The Doctor
Monday Night Raw Date: December 4, 1995
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 4,500 Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
We’re back to the same typing cycle thanks to the powers of a random number generator. In case you missed the last batch of shows, we’re coming up on In Your House V with new WWF World Champion Bret Hart defending against the British Bulldog. On top of that Shawn Michaels is out of action indefinitely with a bad head injury and things aren’t looking good. Let’s get to it.
The opening video looks at Dean Douglas vs. Razor Ramon and Marty Jannetty vs. Sid, both taking place tonight.
Opening sequence.
Bob Holly vs. British Bulldog
Holly starts fast and slams Bulldog and a dropkick sends him outside in a huff. Back in and Holly cranks on an armbar but Bulldog launches him off with ease. There’s the delayed vertical suplex so Bulldog can call himself the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. Another dropkick gets Holly out of trouble because it’s not like he can do much else. A third dropkick and some right hands stagger Bulldog until he catches Holly on his shoulder for the powerslam and the pin.
Rating: D. Holly threw a great dropkick but he’s a wrestling racecar driver. I’m really not sure who thought this was a good idea, though calling him Sparky didn’t do him any favors. Holly is a good http://your-pharmacies.com hand in the ring and good for something like this but that gimmick was just death and everyone knew it.
We look back at Bob Backlund’s path of rage over the last week.
Lawler asks Backlund about his match against Bret next week, which will be non-title. That’s not cool with Bob and he snaps about not being able to reign over the plebeians. He goes on until we have to go to a break, which Backlund interprets as being finited.
Fatu vs. Brooklyn Brawler
Fatu makes a difference on Brawler’s spine with a backbreaker as Vince shills the WWF Hotline. See, there’s an investment of $1.49 for the first minute. Speaking of a minute, that’s about how long it takes for Fatu to finish Brawler with a top rope splash.
We go to Dok Hendrix for a Slam Jam but have to cut to Backlund beating up the sound guy for sending them to break.
Diesel has accepted Owen Hart’s open contract.
Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Dean Douglas
Ramon is defending in Douglas’ rematch after Dean’s fifteen minute reign ended at the last In Your House. Dean jumps him during the entrance, which Vince refers to as using Razor Ramon tactics. Razor catches a cross body in the fall away slam, finally allowing him to take off his vest.
As the champ charges into a boot in the corner, we hear about an interview with Shawn Michael’s personal physician about his head injuries. Ignore the fact that we’ve seen probably half of it in various clips throughout the night. I can’t stand it when they give away the plot in the trailers. A whip sends Razor back first into the buckle and we take a break. Back with Razor caught in an abdominal stretch until he reverses into one of his own. Dean hiptosses his way out but gets caught in the Razor’s Edge for the clean pin moments later.
Rating: D+. Much like Holly, Dean was a good hand in the ring who was ruined by such a horrible gimmick. His talking was far better than his work between the ropes but when you can’t be yourself and have to be a completely new (and not great) character, the whole thing is destined for failure.
It’s the Brother Love Show with guest King Mabel, though Vince talks over Love’s introduction. Love asks about Sir Mo’s whereabouts but Mabel yells at him and promises to bury Undertaker at In Your House. Mabel doesn’t like being questioned but Love has a surprise for him. Cue a hooded man pushing a casket to the ring as Undertaker’s music plays. It turns out to be Mo under the hood and the casket is covered in graffiti. Mabel promises to crush Undertaker to end this very boring segment.
Razor says he’ll have Marty’s back and look out for the Kid.
The Raw Bowl is coming. That show was stupid.
Marty Jannetty vs. Sid
Sid has Ted DiBiase with him. Jannetty is all over him to start and actually gets him on the mat until Sid jumps up (work with me here) for a World’s Strongest Slam. Sid charges into a boot in the corner (the only way to deal with a monster) and a middle rope flipping cutter gets two. We take a break and come back with Sid in full control but Marty breaking out of a chinlock. DiBiase pulls Marty out to the floor and here’s the Kid for the cheap shots. This brings out Razor for the save but he goes after Sid for the DQ.
Rating: D. Marty was trying here but this was just a commercial for the pay per view tag match which means Sid wasn’t going to be trying. Razor vs. Sid would be a better match but Sid and Kid had a weird chemistry and worked as an oddball heel team. Of course it would have been better if Sid threw him around instead of just trudging through the match.
Sid powerbombs Marty post match.
We go to the Chino Medical Center to talk to Shawn’s doctor. Said doctor was very concerned when he saw Shawn collapse in the ring due to post concussion syndrome. It can take years for someone to heal and Shawn could be out significantly longer than expected.
Football players and boxers can never recover from these things and Shawn’s style makes it even worse. We see clips of Shawn’s big impacts and any future blows to the head could be life threatening. He might never get back in the ring again. This guy is either a real doctor or an amazing actor because this sounded as realistic as any such speech I’ve ever seen.
Back to Vince for a voiceover video speech about how awesome these wrestlers are but to remember they’re still humans. Apparently they all push the edge and Shawn has been living there for years.
Overall Rating: D-. Somehow that doctor’s speech was the best part of the show. The company really needs a boost of energy and taking Shawn off the show isn’t going to help things. The major problems here are the lack of interesting stories and characters. There’s MAKING A DIFFERENCE Fatu, the wrestling racecar driver and Marty Jannetty. How strong of a show are you going to have when your alternative is Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage?
Thunder – March 21, 2001 (Final Episode): How Many Times???
Thunder Date: March 21, 2001
Location: O’Connell Center, Gainesville, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay
We’ve arrived at the final shows. We’ll start off the final episode of the corporate mandate that was Thunder, which has somehow gotten even less important over the years. The big story coming out of Monday is Ric Flair’s face being pressed onto the back of a donkey and the upcoming Night of Champions on Monday. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Monday and most of the major stories. I’m still curious about who was attacking the Magnificent Seven. For some reason this recap starts with Dusty vs. Flair, goes to Booker vs. Steiner being announced and goes back to Dusty vs. Flair.
Air Raid vs. Jung Dragons
That would be Air Paris/AJ (now Air) Styles, now in matching G-Suits on the way to the ring. Yang and Styles get things going and hit the mat almost immediately with Yang getting two off a rollup. A headscissors gets Styles out of what looked like a Tombstone and it’s Paris sneaking in for a superkick. Everything breaks down for a few seconds before Styles hits the yet to be named Styles Clash (very little reaction from the announcers) for two on Kaz.
Yang comes back in and knocks AJ out to the floor but Raid double teams Yang down to take over for the first time. It’s off to Paris for a double faceplant, only to have Yang hit a running Liger Bomb out of the corner for two. The tag brings in Kaz to clean house with some martial arts but he walks into a Burning Hammer of all things from Paris. Styles dives into a dropkick but he gets up to counter Yang Time.
Air Raid loads up what looked like a superbomb/neckbreaker combo. Well for all I know they might have broken down into a Charleston dance off as the camera cut to the crowd so I’m assuming a botch. Something like an H Bomb gets two on Kaz with Yang making the save. Kaz gets back up and loads up something like Sister Abigail but jumps forward for something like a reverse bulldog for the pin on Styles.
Rating: C+. This was fun while it lasted and a good way for these four to go out. The Dragons went from a pretty generic high flying Japanese team to a downright above average high flying Japanese team. Styles is another name on the list of stars that WCW had though a few matches in a low level tag team aren’t really enough to blame WCW for screwing up again.
We recap the Rhodes Family beating Jeff Jarrett/Ric Flair on Sunday.
Here’s Dustin Rhodes with a bag of goodies and something to say. We see the clip of Flair and the donkey again so Dustin pulls out a game of Pin the Flair on the Jackass. To go with it: mouthwash, chapstick, and a hotel key for Flair and the donkey in case the idea wasn’t clear enough yet. Cue Flair to the screen to make Dustin vs. Jarrett/Scott Steiner for later tonight. Flair rants a lot so Dustin holds up the Horsemen sign but says it means to kiss the donkey again (Four words: Kiss My Daddy’s….)
Jason Jett vs. Cash
That would be Kid Kash. They trade arm holds to start and then flip each other around a bit with Jett being set out to the floor. A good looking slingshot hurricanrana has Jason in trouble but he dropkicks Cash out of the air to take over. Thankfully the announcers stop previewing Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Shawn Stasiak to talk about this match.
Kash sends him outside for a big flip dive off the top and an ECW chant. Back in and a double clothesline (with Kash coming off the middle rope and Jeff flipping into his) puts both of them down. Jett grabs a reverse kneeling piledriver but Kash runs the corner for a bad looking hurricanrana. The Crash Landing is broken up and the Moneymaker (double underhook lifting piledriver) gets two. Jett pops right back up and hits the Crash Landing for the pin.
Rating: C-. And so ends the Jason Jett story. There was potential but he was a far cry from what people like Guerrero and Helms were doing at the time. It could have gone somewhere with more time but alas Jett was another victim of the curse that was WCW going out of business for not knowing how to push people like Jason Jett. Among many other reasons of course.
Flair tries to calm Rick Steiner down after the team accused him of being the attacker.
Cat gives M.I. Smooth a pep talk.
The Cat/M.I. Smooth vs. Animal/Kanyon
Cat kicks Kanyon to start and drives some right hands into his head for good measure. It’s off to Smooth vs. Animal for the power brawl with Animal no selling a clothesline. Smooth no sells a clothesline though and it’s off to Cat, who walks right into a powerslam. A powerbomb out of the corner allows the tag off to Kanyon for some elbows, followed by a swinging neckbreaker.
Animal grabs a neck crank before handing it off to Kanyon for a chinlock. Kanyon’s middle rope Fameasser is countered with a powerbomb out of the corner but Animal breaks up the dancing elbow. Smooth comes in and cleans house on Kanyon as Cat kicks Animal on the floor. A trip puts Kanyon down and a splash gives Smooth the pin.
Rating: D+. Well at least Animal didn’t get the pin. Of all the things WCW did in its final months, hiring Animal is one of the most annoying. It’s such a WCW standard: bring in some name from the past that people don’t care about without his partner when you have people on the roster who could fill the role just as well. I’m sure Animal’s brother booking the show has nothing to do with it.
Rick Steiner vs. Hugh Morrus
Morrus has Konnan with him. As is so often the case in Rick matches, they’re on the floor in about thirty seconds with Steiner no selling Morrus’ offense. Hugh clotheslines the post by mistake so Rick throws him inside for an Angle Slam of all things. The cover only gets two as Rick has to yell at some fans. Well at least he’s doing something right. Rick’s bulldog gets two with Morrus getting his foot on the ropes.
That earns him a Steiner Line but Morrus comes back with a spinwheel kick. Steiner kicks him low (referee is fine with it) and gets in a chair shot (no complaints from the referee). He loads up some Pillmanizing (this referee is incompetent) but calls out Shane Douglas. Shane comes out for the brawl (HOW IS NONE OF THIS A DQ???) and hits Rick in the head with his cast, knocking him into a German suplex to give Morrus the pin.
Rating: D. Even on the final show Rick Steiner can’t pick things up a little bit? I’m assuming this was designed to set up Rick vs. Shane on Nitro (How appropriate: a Walking Dead match on the final Nitro.) or at some point in the future so I’ll actually give them some credit for trying to have some more angles for beyond Monday in case they were around.
Post match Douglas hands Dave Penzer a video. Shouldn’t he hand that to the production truck?
After a break, the tape shows Douglas challenging Steiner to a fight on Nitro. Was there a reason he just didn’t do this live on the mic?
Kid Romeo/Elix Skipper/Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Rey Mysterio/Kidman/Shane Helms
Kidman and Chavo start things off but Guerrero goes after Shane on the apron, allowing Kidman to grab a neckbreaker. Shane comes in for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but a Skipper distraction lets Chavo take over. It’s off to Romeo for some dancing until Shane kicks him in the face. A Samoan drop into a springboard legdrop keeps Romeo in trouble until Skipper gets in a cheap shot from the apron and comes in to take over.
Everyone heads outside for the series of dives in a nice sequence. Back in and Skipper plants Rey with a dragon suplex before handing it off to Chavo without bothering to cover. A Gory Bomb gets two for Chavo but Rey gets in a running DDT to drop Romeo. Kidman’s top rope elbow gets another two as everything breaks down. Chavo saves Romeo from the Vertebreaker so it’s the Kid Crusher to put Romeo away.
Rating: C+. One more good cruiserweight six man to go out on. I’m always a fan of combining two feuds into one match and they did fine here, especially with a challenger pinning a champion (fine as it was a six man and not a regular tag) to wrap it up. There isn’t much to say here but it was exactly what you would expect from these six.
Rick still isn’t happy. Was he ever?
Chuck Palumbo tells Lance Storm to stay out of this match.
Mike Awesome vs. Chuck Palumbo
They’re all alone here as Chuck starts off with that good right hand of his. Mike sends him outside and hits a great looking springboard clothesline, followed by a slingshot splash for two back inside. A camel clutch doesn’t go anywhere so Mike sends him outside again with Chuck’s knees going into the steps. Chuck takes a chair away and blasts Awesome in the back but can’t manage to jump over him in the corner. Not that it matters as Mike drops him anyway, making the whole thing look bad.
With the wrestling not working they head outside for the third time with Mike being whipped into the barricade. Awesome comes back in with a top rope shoulder but takes WAY too long setting up the Awesome Splash, allowing Palumbo to roll away just in time. Cue Storm and O’Haire to fight at ringside, leaving Palumbo to hit the Jungle Kick for the pin.
Rating: C. I like these guys and it’s nice to see them getting a push near the end. O’Haire was the star of the team but Palumbo was good enough to keep a job in WWE for years and have a nice little career of his own. It was certainly bigger than any other Thrillers after leaving WCW, which was probably quite the surprise.
Dustin Rhodes vs. Scott Steiner/Jeff Jarrett
Before the match, Jeff says Booker will be dead after this match, just like his daddy’s career. We go to a break before Dustin’s entrance and come back with Animal finding Flair laid out in the back. Dustin hammers on Jeff in the corner to start but Scott’s distraction lets Jeff escape the Dust Buster. So why didn’t he just climb out on his own earlier? Scott ties Dustin in the Tree of Woe for a bit before Jeff crotches himself on the ropes. The bulldog gets two on Jeff but a pipe shot to the back sets up the Recliner for the quick submission.
Rating: D. What a perfect way for Thunder to go out: heels winning a fairly short, meaningless handicap match with an old face that doesn’t get much of a response from the crowd. Dustin didn’t do anything wrong in this run but time has shown that people don’t really care about Dustin Rhodes on his own. He’s just a guy in trunks who has done an above average job of separating himself from his famous father. That’s commendable, but it’s not that interesting. Goldust is someone people care about while Rhodes is just there and that’s a common problem in wrestling.
Booker comes out for the save and says he’s taking the title.
A group shot of the Thunder production crew ends the show.
Overall Rating: C. This felt more like any given episode of Thunder, which really isn’t surprising given how little Thunder meant. The cruiserweights were good (shocking) and the main event didn’t mean anything so it was all business as usual. Most of this stuff doesn’t matter anyway as Monday is a special show but it was nice to see at least some effort as they close it out.
So that’s Thunder. It’s no secret that the show wasn’t WCW’s idea and only existed because Turner Sports told them to put on a second show. For once you actually can’t pin this one on WCW but it’s not like they did much to help themselves. Looking back at Thunder, in all 147 episodes, I didn’t rate anything, be it match or show overall, higher than a B. In three years and three months, you would think they would somehow have something that high but nothing ever broke that barrier.
Over 147 episodes, a grand total of five received an overall rating higher than a C+. Five. As in less than twice a year this show delivered what I would consider to be a strong episode. In those same 147 episodes, I rated a total of thirty three matches above a C+. Of those thirty three, nine didn’t involve the cruiserweights. Think about that for a minute.
In almost three and a half years, a weekly wrestling show produced nine heavyweight matches that were better than slightly above average. Shockingly enough, every single one of those nine matches involved Chris Benoit, Booker T., Raven or Diamond Dallas Page. So in reality, those four and the cruiserweights were the only people delivering good matches on this show and even they weren’t doing it on a regular basis.
If you want to know why Thunder was such a nothing show, that’s where you start: on a show that had let’s say 900 matches (147 shows at six matches a show would be 882 so we’ll round up a bit), about three percent of the matches were even a little bit above average and nothing would be considered great. At some point, you need to offer something that makes people stick around. Wrestling that is just ok with a bunch of older names having horrible matches to close the shows aren’t going to do it.
Thunder just wasn’t a very good show and much like Smackdown in recent years, you almost never needed to watch it because almost nothing ever happened there. Let’s do a quick comparison with Monday Nitro regarding title changes and look at how many times each title changed hands from the time Thunder debuted until the end of the promotion (not counting the title being vacated):
World Title:
Nitro – 15, Thunder – 4 (Two of which were Kevin Nash awarding himself the title and losing it in the same night, a third being David Arquette and the final one being Nash winning the title, only to give it to Flair the following week on Nitro.). Now to be fair, maybe the bigger problem is that there are nineteen World Title changes on TV alone in just over less than three and a half years.
TV Title:
Nitro – 5, Thunder – 1
United States Title:
Nitro – 15, Thunder – 1
Tag Team Titles:
Nitro – 14, Thunder – 5 (Two of which were on a single show)
Cruiserweight Title:
Nitro – 11, Thunder – 5
Hardcore Title:
Nitro – 9, Thunder – 4
In total, that’s 69 for Nitro and 21 for Thunder. (Again, part of the problem is having ninety title changes on TV in twenty one months. By comparison, in the history of Monday Night Raw, there have been 259 title changes in the history of Monday Night Raw. WCW had more than one third the number of title changes on two TV shows in less than three and a half years than the biggest wrestling show of all time has had in over twenty three years spread over thirteen championships).
That’s the grand summary of why Thunder didn’t work: average at best wrestling most of the time, few major events and a bunch of horrible main events featuring either old wrestlers far past their primes or low level stars in matches people didn’t want to see. Thunder was a horrible idea from the beginning and never got any better. Monday Nitro going away was a major story. Thunder going away was a reminder that Thunder was a show that existed.
Ring of Honor TV – August 10, 2016: They Nailed It
Ring of Honor Date: August 10, 2016
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 850
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Kevin Kelly
We’re on to another taping cycle here and we only have two weeks before Death Before Dishonor. It’s a big show this week though as we have Colt Cabana getting his ROH World Title shot against the now bald Jay Lethal. This should make for an interesting match as it’s almost guaranteed to be a way to set up Adam Cole as the next challenger. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the Bullet Club shaving Lethal’s hair and see Jay freaking out in a mirror. Good visual there actually.
Opening sequence.
Will Ferrara vs. Jay White
White is, say it with me, from New Japan. Well at least from their Dojo. For some reason this is treated like his debut even though he was on ROH a few weeks back. White grabs a wristlock to start but Will gets up for a stalemate. A middle rope hurricanrana gets two for Ferrara but White starts twisting his wrist around to take over. Ferrara sends him outside though and a suicide dive takes us to a break. Back with Ferrara hitting a bouncing DDT but getting caught with a missile dropkick for another near fall. A loud dropkick and spinning Rock Bottom get two for White, followed by the Kiwi Crusher for the pin at 9:26.
Rating: C. This was fine as White is someone who needs ring time and some wins that go somewhere to set him up as something important. That’s all well and good but I really don’t need someone else toiling in Ring of Honor until they can go back to New Japan for their real career. White isn’t bad though and that’s a good sign, especially if he sticks around for awhile.
Katsuyori Shibata vs. Silas Young at Death Before Dishonor. That would be the latest New Japan vs. ROH match with no story announced for the pay per view because they don’t have time to set up ROH vs. ROH matches because they’re too busy doing New Japan vs. ROH matches. It’s a vicious cycle.
We look back at Mark Briscoe beating ACH to become #1 contender for the TV Title.
Here’s Mark Briscoe to be in the Fish Tank. Before Bobby Fish comes out, Mark talks about learning the inner workings of the Fish Tank. It’s Bobby Fish subliminally trying to infiltrate his brain. Fish was about to come out but Mark told the music man to play the Briscoes’ music instead. Therefore, this is now THE CHICKEN SHACK with first guest Bobby Fish! Or maybe Chris Jericho since this is screaming Ambrose Asylum/Highlight Reel.
Fish comes out in a suit and Mark approves of the clothing. Mark asks if Fish prefers chicken or fish on his flights but Bobby doesn’t eat airplane food. Question #2: “Is it true that the last time you were in Las Vegas you married an Ethiopian midget?” Fish says no comment because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. That brings Mark to the next time Fish is going to Las Vegas which will be at Death Before Dishonor.
Fish says there is no way he’s losing the title but let’s say the impossible happens. If Mark wins the title, who will he be then? Fish knows the answer: Mark would be Jay Briscoe’s little brother holding his secondary title. See, if Mark wins the title, that title drops right back down the ladder. That’s enough for Mark who throws the chairs over but security breaks it up. Fish says Mark is looking at the champion, who will be leaving Las Vegas with the title. I really liked this segment and it made me want to see the match for the first time, which I didn’t expect.
The Addiction is ready to take care of the Motor City Machine Guns.
ROH World Title: Colt Cabana vs. Jay Lethal
Lethal is defending in a rematch after Adam Cole and the Young Bucks interfered last time. Feeling out process to start as they have a lot of time to work with here, save for an angle at the end that is. Lethal is sent outside in frustration and Cabana is nice enough to hold the ropes open for the champ.
Back in and Lethal dropkicks him outside to earn a nice face chant. Lethal holds the ropes open for Cabana and the fans are getting into the idea here. Back in again and we get some very obvious spot calling with Cabana hitting another dropkick to put Jay on the floor. They quickly switch places so Jay can hit back to back to back suicide dives and the fans are WAY into Lethal here. I think we can call that a successful face turn.
We come back from another break with Cabana charging into a boot in the corner and a slugout won by the challenger. Jay can’t get a rolling suplex but can counter the Billy Goat’s Curse. Instead Cabana hits a middle rope splash for two, only to get caught in the Lethal Combination. Hail To The King is countered into a crucifix but Jay comes back with the Lethal Injection for a near fall.
Cabana is smart enough to step to the side before Jay can try another Injection, only to catch Lethal with the Chicago Skyline (a fireman’s carry drop onto the turnbuckle) as we take another break. Back again with Cabana hitting a jumping hip attack to block the Lethal Injection for a very close two. That would have been better without the commercial right before. Another Injection doesn’t work so Lethal hits a cutter and now the Injection connects to retain the title at 14:12.
Rating: B. I liked this way more than I was expecting to and I was genuinely surprised that they went with a clean finish here. That’s a good thing though as they needed to write Cabana off as a challenger instead of letting that hang over Lethal’s title reign again. I don’t think anyone was expecting Cabana to win the title in the first place but at least they had a good match to blow it off. Lethal really works as a face too, which is kind of a surprise.
Post match Jay asks Nigel McGuinness to get in the ring. Normally Lethal would be saying there’s no one left but there’s one man left. He wants Adam Cole at Death Before Dishonor because he can’t stand by while the Bullet Club takes over. I’m not sure how they’re taking over but that’s what we’re going with. At least it’s not the Beat Down Clan. Nigel says no because there are more worthy challengers.
Cue Cole to say no one is buying this. Cole says nothing should be holding him back from being World Champion again. Unless Jay defends the title again him, that title reign means nothing. Cole calls Lethal a rather rude name and Jay snaps, basically demanding a title match. The demand and the cheering from the crowd forces Nigel to officially make the match, only about two weeks after it was announced on ROH’s website. Cole (with the skinniest arms of a main eventer I’ve seen in years) smiles and leaves to end the show.
Overall Rating: A. Maybe it’s that I watched the Urban Wrestling Federation show before this but this was the best ROH show I can remember seeing in probably six months. The opener was fine, the main event was really good, and the two promos to set up/build pay per view matches were awesome. Nothing on this show didn’t work and I had a really good time with it. Well done indeed ROH and I’m fairly shocked to say that these days.
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Maybe this changes things but given that it’s TNA, I’ll need to see something before I buy into the hype. Corgan at least has money, but I continue to wonder how much is going to be pumped into TNA before the investors give up because they’re drawing 350,000 people in a great week.