New Column: Reviewing the Reviews
Bringing this one out of mothballs, much like Ziggler as a credible main eventer.
Smackdown – July 5, 2001: That’s A Bad Sign
Smackdown
Date: July 5, 2001
Location: Tacoma Dome, Tacoma, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross
This is another old request as I try to knock some of my way too long list down. We’re very early into the Invasion and Steve Austin is currently out due to an injury and is sitting in Vince McMahon’s office singing campfire songs with Kurt Angle, who has basically decided he’s Austin’s best friend. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap looks at Torrie Wilson trying to seduce Vince to get a contract, only to have Linda catch them in a scene that wasn’t very funny. This is in no way a reason for Vince to get physical with Torrie Wilson in a swimsuit top.
Opening sequence.
Tag Team Titles: Chris Jericho/Spike Dudley vs. Dudley Boyz
Bubba and D-Von are defending as Spike tries to find someone to help fight off his brothers, who don’t like him dating Molly Holly. This is another sign of the times as you would just have random title matches on TV instead of spending weeks setting up a title match on pay per view. D-Von and Jericho start things off with Jericho scoring off some chops. A springboard dropkick sends D-Von outside and Spike dives on both Dudleys. Well the other Dudleys that is. I can assure you he didn’t dive on himself.
Back in and Spike plays D-Von in What’s Up to D-Von but the Dudley Dawg is easily broken up. It’s time for Spike to get beaten down, including an awesome double flapjack to send him crashing to the mat in a great looking landing. D-Von misses a middle rope legdrop and the hot tag brings in Jericho to clean house. Jericho can’t keep the Walls on though as D-Von makes a quick save, leaving Spike to come in instead. A quick 3D ends Spike to retain the titles.
Rating: C-. That flapjack alone makes this match go up in value. I mean Spike just slammed into that mat and landed on his face. How can you not love that? Jericho vs. the Dudley Boyz wasn’t the most interesting feud and it didn’t do much other than fill in a little time before he moved on to the big time with the invasion.
Jericho clears the ring post match.
Austin and Debra come in to see Vince, who rants against Torrie for what happened on Monday. Debra blames Vince but Austin has a present to make things better. Vince opens the big red box and it’s……a cowboy hat. Austin has one of his own but Angle comes in and feels left out. There’s one more box though and it’s a smaller hat, just for Kurt, who has never been happier. Austin looks like he wants to kill him. Then why did Austin buy the hat? This was an awkward phase of comedy but they’re nailing the timing and it’s actually really funny stuff.
Earlier today the WWF and WCW referees got in a fight, which actually set up a pay per view match for reasons I don’t want to comprehend.
Crash Holly vs. Jacqueline
Crash knocks her around to start but they head outside with Jacqueline sending him shoulder first into the post. Back in and we hit the armbar for a bit before Crash gets two off a northern lights suplex. Crash gets crotched on the top and a super hurricanrana gives Jacqueline the pin.
Rating: D-. This was a stretch when Jacqueline was wrestling various men despite there being no real reason to see her do so. Basically it was a way to show off how awesome she was (quite the stretch) and, again, no one was really all that interested. This would happen from time to time and the fact that it never lead anywhere didn’t seem to change much.
Trish (looking GREAT here) comes in to thank Jeff Hardy for saving her from Big Show. Lita and Matt come in to make her leave. Jeff thinks there’s nothing wrong with this, which might have something to do with Trish kissing Matt last week.
We look back at Austin, Angle and WCW wrestler Buff Bagwell beating down WCW World Champion Booker T. Austin and Angle beat Bagwell down and threw him outside.
Various wrestlers, many of them who used to work in WCW, laugh at Booker for taking such a beating. Booker says he’s ready to defend his title tonight.
Vince gets a summons about a settlement with Linda. Austin blames Angle and wants his hat back but Angle calls him an Indian giver.
WCW Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Gregory Helms
This is a WCW match complete with graphics and Scott Hudson and Arn Anderson on commentary. Helms used to be Gregory but we can’t have two Shanes on the roster. The announcers talk about Booker defending the WCW World Title tonight and ignore the match to really make this feel like something out of WCW. Helms is sent to the floor and taken down with a dive.
Back in and Kidman is hiptossed out for a big crash. Anderson rips on the cowboy hot segment as Kidman gets beaten down even more. A BK Bomb (Sky High) gets two but the shooting star misses. The Nightmare on Helm Street gets two and a modified Kid Crusher (basically the Killswitch) gives us a new champion.
Rating: C+. The match was what you would expect from these two but the crowd just did not care and I can’t really blame them. These fans have no reason to care about WCW or its titles because that’s not what they came here to see. Kidman and Helms are very talented but there’s no connection to them for the WWF fans. Build these guys up under the WWF banner and then do the big war.
Vince blames women for his problems and Debra is incensed. His plan is to explain to the people and everything will be ok. Angle thinks telling the truth is the answer, just like he learned in the Boy Scouts.
Christian has Edge’s King of the Ring trophy ready for Edge’s Intercontinental Title shot tonight. Apparently Edge would rather Christian stay in the back though and Christian looks disappointed. You can see the split coming and it’s really well done so far.
Here’s Vince to talk about what’s been happening to him recently. See, when you die you leave a good or a bad reputation behind. Linda would like you to believe that he has a bad reputation because he’s a womanizer and a skirt chaser. Just for the record he wasn’t going to go that far with Torrie because he was just testing her loyalty. Yeah that’s it. On July 23 he has to appear before a judge about division of assets with Linda and right now he’d like to say he’s sorry. Vince drops to a knee and apologizes to everyone and IS THERE A POINT TO THIS COMING ANYTIME SOON???
William Regal and Tajiri come out and beg Vince to get up because it’s not his fault. Vince hugs Regal and we cut to Austin and Angle looking stunned. It’s not Vince’s fault that women are so attracted to him or that he’s a self made billionaire. He’s Vince McMahon and he’s proud of it. Again, if anyone can explain the point of this to me, I’d love to hear it and tell you that it’s nothing more than an excuse for Vince to take up more TV time.
Hardy Boyz vs. Big Show/Billy Gunn
Apparently Billy and Big Show think everyone is against them. Right. Billy charges into an armdrag and Matt grabs an armbar. It’s off to Jeff (wearing a hat) for two off Poetry in Motion. Big Show and his one piece women’s swimsuit come in for the Alley Oop (lifts Jeff for a powerbomb but falls backwards to send Jeff face first into the mat). Show takes a ridiculous amount of time going to the middle rope, allowing Jeff to avoid an elbow drop.
The hot tag brings in Matt (European Champion, which isn’t important enough to mention until nearly the end of the match) who is quickly launched out to the floor. Lita uses the distraction to hit the hurricanrana on Billy, allowing Jeff to hit a missile dropkick on Big Show. The Twist of Fate/Swanton/legdrop crush Show but Billy comes back in with his cobra clutch slam to give Show the pin on Matt.
Rating: D. For the life of me I do not get the obsession with pushing Billy Gunn outside of his most popular character. He’s just a guy who has a look and almost nothing more. If Big Show and Billy Gunn are the best they can do for a tag team at this point, they might as well just have the Hardys feud with Edge and Christian and the Dudleys forever because there’s nothing worth seeing here. Well other than Lita of course.
Vince tells Angle/Austin/Tajiri/Regal that he’s taking the night off and going to a bar. Actually, Tajiri can come with him. I’m assuming Tajiri will put a shirt on at some point. The two of them leave so Austin and Angle can yell at Regal for hugging Vince without their permission. Austin and Angle get in an argument over who makes the other sicker.
Intercontinental Title: Albert vs. Edge
Believe it or not (and I’m not sure why you wouldn’t), Albert is defending. You can tell how much this match matters as the video during the entrances is about Undertaker (who challenges for the title on Monday) vs. Diamond Dallas Page. Before the match, Edge rips on Albert’s X Factor theme (I always liked it) to tick the monster off. Edge has to fight out of the Baldo Bomb (chokebomb) but eats a bicycle kick square to the hands.
We hit a backbreaker, which Tazz informs us works on the back. A torture rack neckbreaker gets two for the champ and it’s off to a bearhug (which also works on the back). Albert misses a splash and Edge grabs the Edge-O-Matic for no cover. Instead he goes up and scores with the missile dropkick but Albert hits him low and grabs the Baldo Bomb to retain.
Rating: C. I have no idea why but I remember thinking Albert was a cool choice for the Intercontinental Title. It wasn’t going to last much longer as it would be sacrificed on the altar of the invasion but at least they gave the belt to someone fresh. You can only have Jericho, Angle, Edge and Benoit hold the thing for so long before it’s time for some new blood.
The locker room apologizes to Test for beating him up (as they thought he was a WCW mole) when Austin comes in to tell them to get together and fight the bacteria that is WCW. They can start tonight by beating up Booker T. Angle praises Austin and says Steve could beat up Booker T. and everyone else in this room, thereby screwing up the plan. Austin stares at him and throws his hat down.
Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Dean Malenko
Scotty is recently back from an injury. Malenko has Perry Saturn and Terri with him. Things start fast with Scotty armdragging Dean a few times but missing a dropkick. Malenko starts in on the leg but the Cloverleaf goes on too close to the ropes. Scotty’s rollup gets two but he gets knocked to the floor with a clothesline but Dean is down as well. Cue Saturn with Scotty’s hat to try the Worm on Dean (just go with it), only to have Scotty come back in and hit the real thing for the pin.
Rating: D+. Uh….yeah. Saturn being insane was funny and stayed entertaining enough for a long time though Malenko having character stuff like this wasn’t the best idea. I mean, it’s better than having him be a ladies man and all that (save for the Lita vignettes) but he really wasn’t cut out for the WWF in general.
A WCW referee wishes Page luck but Page talks about wanting to go after Undertaker and/or Kane.
We look back at last week’s Tough Enough. HHH will be on the show after Smackdown tonight and gave a speech that I believe talked a buddy of mine out of wanting to wrestle.
Austin yells at Angle and Debra about various things and is ready to beat up Booker T. Angle wants to bounce Booker around like a pogo stick so Steve sends him out to break Booker’s ankle. Angle: “Hold onto my hat.”
WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Booker T.
Page is challenging and it’s another full on WCW match. By that I mean WCW logos with graphics nowhere near as good as the company had and a commentary team that never did commentary for them. Page jumps the champ during his entrance but gets elbowed out to the floor in something that looked edited. Back in and the Diamond Cutter is broken up but Booker gets dropped face first onto the buckle.
They head outside again with Page being thrown over the announcers’ table and then into the crowd despite a lack of any real personal issue between them to warrant this kind of violence. Page takes over and stomps on Booker’s hand back inside. A good looking Batista Bomb gets two on Booker and sets off his comeback, including the ax kick. Page bails to the floor and sends Booker into the steps before grabbing a chair. The referee is shoved down (DQ? Anyone?) and a DDT onto the chair gives Page two. Cue the Undertaker for a distraction and Booker rolls Page up to retain.
Rating: B-. Good match and all but again there’s almost no reason for the fans to care. As far as WWF fans are concerned, these are brand new wrestlers who just happen to be fighting over a title. I’m sure a lot of them know who these two are but that doesn’t mean they want to see a title match here. If they did, they probably would have watched Nitro more often.
Undertaker chases Page off and here’s Angle to go after Booker. An ax kick puts Angle down and there’s a belt shot to the face.
We go to the parking lot where the WCW guys jump Undertaker but can’t even knock him off his feet. Eight guys pounding on him and barely having any effect should tell you all you need to know about this story. They FINALLY get him down but WCW owner Shane McMahon comes in for the save, only to have Page beat him up too. Booker calls them off and gets beaten down as well to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. The show wasn’t bad and the Austin/Angle comedy stuff is oddly hilarious but this WCW story is clearly dead in the water. You can blame it on probably a dozen factors but a lot of it comes down to people not wanting to see WCW wrestlers on the WWF show. If I didn’t want to watch WCW with all of its star power, why would I care about Booker T., Diamond Dallas Page as a character so different from what made him famous and then everyone else that just happens to be there? Things are only going to get worse from here but they’re really not off to a good start.
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Monday Night Raw – November 29, 1993: The Good Thing About The Kliq
Monday Night Raw
Date: November 29, 1993
Location: Westchester County Civic Center, White Plains, New York
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan
We’re past Survivor Series and thankfully this was taped after Survivor Series so we don’t have some lame stand alone show to fill in time before the next taping. Now it’s that weird place where we need to start getting ready for the Royal Rumble but it’s still several weeks away so we can’t quite get there yet. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Steiner Brothers vs. Mike Khoury/Reno Riggins
Scott throws Mike around to start and gives him a dragon suplex of all things. Rick beats up Riggins a bit and it’s back to Scott for an armbar. The Steiner Screwdriver makes Heenan cringe (rightfully so) before the Frankensteiner puts Khoury away.
Rating: C. Any match that has the Screwdriver in it makes me smile, even if it probably broke half of Reno’s neck in the process. The Steiners were just such a dominant team and I’m surprised they didn’t get to hold the titles longer. That being said, they were always more of a WCW team than a WWF team but their run was always cool. They wouldn’t do much more but they would have several months to go in the company.
BUY THE REPLAY!
Jeff Jarrett can’t get a meeting at a talent agency. Is this going ANYWHERE anytime soon?
Razor Ramon vs. Diesel
Non-title. Diesel shoves him into the corner a few times to start as Heenan talks about Rio Rogers (a Dusty Rhodes knockoff). Some knees to the back have Razor in even more trouble and there’s the running crotch attack with Razor over the ropes. A side slam gets two and we hit the bearhug. This really does show you how much better Diesel got in a hurry as he’s gone from a boring match here to some good stuff with Razor the following year.
There’s the big boot (which made great contact) followed by Snake Eyes for a delayed cover. Diesel charges into a boot in the corner and Razor’s middle rope bulldog (formerly the Hall Buster in the AWA) gets two. The Razor’s Edge is loaded up but Shawn Michaels runs in for the DQ.
Rating: C. I know the Kliq gets a lot of flack but they really did have good matches against each other. I’m fairly sure this was the first time these two wrestled (certainly the first time on TV at least) and they had a pretty good power match with the screwy ending being necessary to protect both guys.
The 1-2-3 Kid saves Razor.
Bam Bam Bigelow vs. John Crystal
Crystal actually gets in a few shots to start as Heenan makes fun of Gorilla Monsoon. A hard clothesline stops that offense and it’s time for a neck crank. Bigelow slams him and demands Doink get out here. An enziguri finishes Crystal with ease.
Rating: D. Bigelow was kind of a weird fit at this point as he was being treated as a bigger star than he used to be but wasn’t really doing anything. Somehow this would result in a Wrestlemania main event about a year and a half later because wrestling really is funny that way. Not bad so soon after the Four Doink match disaster.
On Wrestling Challenge, Santa Claus gave Doink a miniature clown (in a bag) named Dink. See there can’t be more than one Doink (because it would create chaos) so he was named Dink instead.
Vince is in the ring to present the Superstar of the Year Award. In November? Anyway Vince brings out Lex Luger as the runner up, which is rather impressive considering he didn’t really do anything all year. Luger thanks everyone who voted for him and congratulates the winner for everything he’s accomplished. With that he brings out Bret Hart as Heenan thinks he’s in line for the REAL trophy next year. Bret is honored to win and knows he has a lot of challenges left to achieve. The award is dedicated to everyone who has stood by him and this isn’t really going anywhere.
We see the end of the Hart Family vs. Shawn Michaels and his Knights with only Owen being eliminated. This would be the very early stages of Owen’s heel turn and amazing series against Bret.
Owen Hart vs. Chris Duffy
In a change of pace, Owen wears Bret glasses and gives them to a fan ala his brother. Owen dropkicks him down and hits a legdrop as we get a WE WANT BRET chant. This seems to get on Owen’s nerves as he backdrops Duffy for no cover. Duffy is sent to the floor and taken out with a plancha. Back in and a missile dropkick sets up the Sharpshooter to complete the squash.
Heenan can’t get an interview with Owen.
Scott Taylor vs. Ludvig Borga
That would be Scotty 2 Hotty. Taylor avoids an early elbow and has almost no effect off a dropkick. One heck of a clothesline turns Taylor inside out and Borga chokes him with one arm. Borga torture racks him for the fast submission.
The 1-2-3 Kid accepts a challenge to face Shawn next week.
Overall Rating: C-. Some better wrestling helps this one a lot though it might have more to do with less Quebecer singles matches. They’re certainly back to the stand alone/lower level shows at this point which makes every week a lot more hit or miss than the times where we’re building towards the big shows. You can also see the rise of the Kliq starting to take shape and that’s a mixed bag to say the least.
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Monday Night Raw – November 15, 1993: Let Freedom Ring
Monday Night Raw
Date: November 15, 1993
Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan
The big story this week is a fan voted match with Lex Luger facing Pierre the Quebecer in a match that really isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. Other than that we find out who will be the replacement on the All Americans now that Tatanka has been injured. That’s quite the cool moment so let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Savage going nuts and attacking Vince to go after Crush last week.
Opening sequence.
Savage has been suspended from commentary for a week in a logical move.
Razor Ramon vs. Brooklyn Brawler
Non-title. The referee won’t let the Brawler hit Razor with the title to start so Ramon shrugs off the early offense and punches him down. An atomic drop slows Ramon down as we hear about Shawn Michaels returning to the company. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Brawler ducks his head like an idiot, setting up the Razor’s Edge for the easy pin.
Crush is very happy with costing Savage his broadcasting job.
Headshrinkers vs. Mike Bucci/Mike Maraldo
Bucci would later be known as Nova/Simon Dean. Fatu headbutts Bucci around to start as the announcers talk about Savage being gone this week. A double headbutt puts him down as we’re firmly in squash territory here. Unfortunately this leads to a discussion of the Four Doinks, which would be the only match I ever turned off in the middle of a review because it was horrible. A double Stroke sets up Samu’s top rope splash to squash Bucci for good.
Rating: D. I’ve always been a Headshrinkers fan as they’re such a simple gimmick but they knew how to make it work. Their face run was a lot more entertaining but at the moment we’re stuck with them as your run of the mill island savages. On the other hand it’s always cool to see someone like Bucci as a fresh rookie before he became a fairly well known name.
We go back to Superstars over the weekend with the announcement of Tatanka’s replacement on the All Americans. That would be…..the Undertaker, who says he’ll fight with them against these Foreign Fanatics. He opens the coat to reveal an American flag and says let freedom ring in a really cool moment.
Pierre vs. Lex Luger
Pierre is one half of the Tag Team Champions. Luger whips him across the ring a few times to start and gets two off a belly to back suplex. A backdrop on the floor gets two for Luger and we take an early break. Back with Luger working on the arm but some left hands get Pierre out of trouble.
Luger gets up but Pierre’s manager Johnny Polo grabs the leg (with the referee not only seeing him but yelling about it), allowing Pierre to send him into the steps. A Vader Bomb gets two on Luger and Heenan is shocked at the kickout. He does realize it was Pierre right? Pierre puts on a bad looking reverse chinlock but Luger powers out as we take a break.
Back with the hold on again and a piledriver getting two on Lex. A really weird looking top rope legdrop (with Pierre trying to spin around to drop the other leg instead of the one you would expect) gets the same and it’s time for Luger’s comeback. Some right hands and a slam off the top set up the flying forearm to finish Pierre off. Heenan’s rant about all the metal in the arm is great.
Rating: D-. This is really on whoever decided to put Pierre in this match as there was no reason to think he could handle a nearly fifteen minute match on his own. There’s a reason you put him in a tag team so a veteran like Jacques can carry a lot of the work but it was basically suicide to put him out here and ask him to carry half of a match.
Post break Jacques and Johnny have trouble waking Pierre up.
Diesel vs. Sid Garrison
Oh yeah Diesel is still a thing. Diesel powers him into the corner with ease and a neck crank fills in more time. A big boot and an elbow drop of all things put Sid away.
Rating: D. It’s not a good sign when I forgot that Diesel was a thing at this point but that’s what you have to expect when Shawn was put out of action just a few months after Diesel debuted. There really wasn’t much of a point to do anything with him which explains his fairly random association with IRS at Survivor Series.
Survivor Series control center. There’s not much here other than the announcement that Pierre has a concussion and may be out of the main event.
We wrap it up in Nashville with Jeff Jarrett yelling at I think the record producer (as portrayed by the future Jacqueline). He’ll be fine despite the lack of backup though.
Overall Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was bad. Survivor Series is almost here but they’re not exactly hitting the ground running with one change after another. Undertaker is a good addition and Pierre is a better subtraction but they need to just announce the teams already and be done with it because these constant changes are getting really annoying to keep up with.
One more note: there is no November 22 show as Survivor Series was two nights later. Instead there was a clipped version of a big special called Survivor Series Showdown which aired the night before. For reasons I don’t quite understand, this was listed as a lost episode of Raw, which I think had something to do with getting to Raw 1000. It was finally aired on WWE.com a few years back and it was actually pretty good. Here’s the link if you’re interested:
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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Monday Night Raw – November 8, 1993: DOWN GOES VINCE!
Monday Night Raw
Date: November 8, 1993
Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage
We’re creeping towards Survivor Series and hopefully things are better this week after such a disaster last time around. The big story is of course the Foreign Fanatics vs. the All Americans and tonight we’ll be seeing Ludvig Borga vs. Scott Steiner in a preview match. Let’s get to it.
Borga talks about how much he hates America so Steiner says he doesn’t like Borga talking about how much he hates America. Well no one ever accused this of being the most exciting era.
Opening sequence.
Heenan is wearing what looks like a parachute because recently someone parachuted into a big boxing match. As usual, topical jokes really aren’t funny. Savage promises to destroy Crush if he gets the chance.
Vince plugs a phone number where you can select Pierre’s opponent for next week. Your options are: Doink the Clown, the 1-2-3 Kid or Lex Luger. After that obvious set of choices, Vince pulls the cord on Bobby’s parachute, which he has on backwards.
Scott Steiner vs. Ludvig Borga
Borga jumps him before the jacket can come off and scores with a good looking top rope clothesline. Scott demonstrates the American abilities to suplex foreigners, followed by a pumphandle slam to send Ludvig to the floor. We hit the pause button while Borga yells a lot, followed by a shot of Savage yelling about Crush again. Borga grabs a headlock as Savage rants about not caring about legal issues, even promising to slap Jack Tunney if it means he can get his hands on Crush.
Steiner avoids an elbow drop but here are the Quebecers to offer Borga some advice. Vince: “This is patently absurd!” Back from a break with Steiner suplexing him back inside as Rick Steiner comes out to even things up a bit. Borga finally makes the ropes to break up a Boston crab so Scott goes with a bad looking top rope dropkick for two. Rick gets on the apron for no logical reason and Borga pulls him inside. The Quebecers get in as well and the match is thrown out.
Rating: D+. This didn’t go anywhere and you knew they were going to have the big nothing finish as soon as Rick came out there. Borga could have been a great heel if he hadn’t been as crazy as he was but he was really cool while he lasted. Scott wasn’t a great singles guy anymore at this point but he was still a very appropriate choice to face Borga here.
Jeff Jarrett is still in Nashville and it’s time to go to the Grand Ole Opry. Country music is corrupt or something. This turns into a discussion of Undertaker being in shambles. Jarrett just keeps going and it gets worse and worse every minute as no one cares in the slightest.
Men on a Mission vs. Steve Smith/Cory Student
Mable is still dancing when Smith taps him on the shoulder for no logical reason. That earns him a trip around the ring before a double dropkick (with maybe one foot combined making contact) puts him down. Mo’s sunset flip gets two on Student (what a name) as the announcers make jokes about an upcoming USA movie. We hit the chinlock for a bit before the double splash puts Student away.
Rating: D. I never know what to say about these squash matches as they’re just beatings until we get to the inevitable pin. Men on a Mission were entertaining in a way but they haven’t exactly aged well. It doesn’t help that Oscar is one of the worst wrestling rappers this side of PN News.
We go to the Survivor Series control center as we run down the card, including the Hart Family facing Jerry Lawler and his Knights, which of course wouldn’t happen. Bret can’t wait to get his hands on Lawler for everything he’s said about the family.
Still in the control center, we see the Headshrinkers finding out that they’ll be facing a pair Doinks. Oh just……no.
Undertaker tells us that drinking and driving is bad. That’s not something you expect to see.
Rick Martel vs. John Paul
Martel starts with the usual as Vince speculates that Savage might replace Tatanka on the All Americans team. Paul grabs a headlock but gets suplexed down. Martel ducks a middle rope cross body and the Boston crab wraps it up in a hurry.
Crush vs. Dan Dubiel
Vince immediately has to calm Savage down by waistlocking him but Savage THROWS VINCE DOWN! IN 1993!!! Savage erupts on Crush with referees and suits not being able to break it up.
Bob Backlund vs. Barry Horowitz
How weird is it that Backlund is still around nearly 23 years after his comeback in his forties here? They trade armdrags to start before Backlund takes him down with ease. Cue Savage back to the announcers’ desk as the technical display continues. And never mind as we cut to Crush breaking out of his locker room, sending Savage to the back. They fight onto the streets as the match is completely forgotten to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. It’s nice that they have a direction going towards Survivor Series though the ridiculous amount of changes they’re making to the card isn’t doing them any favors. The big match wasn’t exactly thrilling but Savage vs. Crush is a hot angle that they somehow waited five months to blow off. Not much of a show here but 1993 isn’t the best time.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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Checked Out The Resurrection Of Jake The Snake Roberts
It’s actually better than it was advertised. If you’re interested in seeing someone completely broken and brought back to what he should be, this is more than worth checking out. The scenes with Jake breaking down about how much he’s wrecked his life just like his dad did are amazing and really do make you see how bad it was for him.
Above all else though, it shows you that Diamond Dallas Page might actually be a saint. You can put people in rehab all you want but there’s something about that personal connection and individual work that makes this come together. Yes Roberts and Scott Hall have had some issues since but they’re both so far and away ahead of where they were that it’s almost impossible to believe. This really does make you believe that anyone can get better and that’s the important thing.
Smackdown – July 26, 2016: The Big Problem
Smackdown
Date: July 26, 2016
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: David Otunga, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re into the new era of Smackdown now and it should be interesting to see where they go now that they’re all on their own. Given who they have on the roster, there’s a chance we’ll have to get some new titles or at the very least some new stars to challenge for the titles that already exist. Let’s get to it.
Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon are in the back and say this new era is all about us as they walk into the arena.
Just like Raw, there’s a new intro accompanied by new music.
The roster is around the ring with the bosses inside. Shane talks about how we have the only WWE Champion here so it’s time to find a new #1 contender. Dean Ambrose comes out to say he’s ready for a new challenge and has Smackdown Live fever. Tonight there’s going to be a Six Pack Challenge for the right to face Ambrose at Summerslam. Included in that match will be:
John Cena
Bray Wyatt
Dolph Ziggler
AJ Styles
Baron Corbin
That leaves one spot open so let’s have a battle royal right now for that final position.
Battle Royal
Kane, Tyler Breeze, Fandango, Apollo Crews, Konnor, Viktor, Simon Gotch, Aiden English, Kalisto, Zack Ryder, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, Erick Rowan, Alberto Del Rio, Mojo Rawley
The camera has a slightly different camera angle, starting from over the cover and down a bit lower instead of the stationary shot. Kane throws out Gotch and clotheslines Ascension out to start clearing out the ring early on. Breezango gets together to eliminate Jey Uso and we take a break.
Back with Rowan and English having been eliminated, leaving us Breeze, Fandango, Kane, Del Rio, Crews, Kalisto and Ryder. I didn’t bother listing Rawley as he was eliminated a few seconds after we came back. A double clothesline gets rid of Del Rio and Kane throws out Breezango to get us down to four. Everyone starts taking shots at Kane but Crews seems to injure his knee on a standing shooting star.
All four are down for a bit until thankfully Crews gets up fine. A clothesline sends Ryder to the apron and Kalisto hits Salida Del Sol on Crews. Ryder goes up for the Elbro but slips off, only to have Kane do the dramatic sit up. Kane dumps Kalisto with ease and Ryder follows him out, leaving Kane and Crews. Apollo backflips out of a chokeslam and low bridges Kane out for the win at 12:45.
Rating: C. The ending really does this match a lot of good and teasing Kane winning made it even better. Above all else though they kept this moving very quickly and didn’t overstay the welcome as so many battle royals do. Crews isn’t likely going to win the Six Pack Challenge but it’s a nice win to get him noticed.
Crews says he won’t celebrate until he wins the main event.
Shelton Benjamin is coming back.
Dolph Ziggler is ready to break through the glass ceiling. You can’t be a multiple time World Champion and still complain about the glass ceiling.
Natalya vs. Becky Lynch
Battleground rematch because those are still a thing in the new era. Becky takes her to the mat for a bit but gets run over by a shoulder. Natalya flips to her feet and slams Becky off the top as we take an early break. Back with Becky jawbreaking her way out of a chinlock and getting two off a guillotine legdrop. The Disarm-Her is broken up and Nattie By Nature gets two. The slow motion Sharpshooter that is only designed to be countered is countered into the Disarm-Her to make Natalya tap at 10:21.
Rating: C-. I don’t know any other way to put this but Natalya is really dull. She wrestles the exact same match as a heel that she wrestled as a face and there’s really no motivation for her other than something that happened a few weeks ago and now she’s a villain basically in name only. It doesn’t help that these two don’t have the best chemistry, especially when they’re the best in the Smackdown division.
Post match Becky says you can call her Becky Balboa (No.) but is interrupted by Alexa Bliss who says this is what the new era looks like. This is followed by the returning Naomi, Carmella (almost no reaction) and Eva Marie, who comes out with a voiceover like a movie trailer, listing off every possible positive attribute about herself. It’s really corny but I actually liked it, even though Eva didn’t say anything.
Baron Corbin says he’ll win.
It’s time for MizTV with special guest…..The Miz. He brags about how awesome he is (well duh) until Randy Orton interrupts. Orton thought Miz was talking about him with all those accolades and agrees that Miz is awesome. Miz brings up the upcoming Brock match and Orton is ready to take Lesnar to Suplex City because he’ll be taking Brock to Viperville. Orton suggests a match against Miz tonight and he’ll even make it non-title so Maryse accepts for her husband.
Randy Orton vs. The Miz
Non-title. They’re quickly on the floor with Miz stomping Orton down, throwing him back inside, and then whipping him into the steps. Back in and the RKO knocks Miz silly for no cover. Instead Orton stares at the entrance and slowly gets up before slapping the ropes a bit. Miz has been down for about two minutes before getting up to take a second RKO for the pin at 4:53.
Rating: F. Oh screw you WWE. Smackdown has almost nothing and you have Miz lose to one move with almost half the match spent on him standing up after the RKO. You know who would have been perfect for this spot? Kane. He’s established, he’s tough, he loses NOTHING by taking the loss and it makes Orton look like he can beat a monster. This was stupid and one of the things that ticks me off more than any other nonsense WWE pulls.
Video on American Alpha. They’re here next week. Well I mean they were here earlier but we don’t have time for the hottest tag team act in a long time. I mean, aside from New Day of course.
A jobber is in the ring for a match when Heath Slater comes in and knocks him out. Slater isn’t happy that he wasn’t drafted to either show and wants to be in the main event. He starts a SIGN HEATH SLATER chant and the fans actually go along with it. Cue Shane McMahon to say Slater needs to send in his resume. Slater says his resume would say he was the brains behind the Nexus, the Corre (there’s a name I never thought I’d hear again) and the Social Outcasts. As Slater rants, Rhyno of all people sneaks up behind him for a Gore.
AJ thinks Smackdown is against him because he’s too good. Why else wouldn’t the Club have been drafted together and why else would he have to fight five guys at once?
Bray Wyatt says it all revolves around him and tonight he’ll have the whole world in his hands.
John Cena vs. AJ Styles vs. Apollo Crews vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler
One fall to a finish, no tags and the winner gets a shot at Ambrose at Summerslam. We take an early break and come back with Bray and AJ double teaming Crews with the other three down on the floor. That lasts about as long as you would expect it to as Bray takes AJ’s head off with a clothesline, only to be dropkicked down by Ziggler. AJ adds a springboard 450 with Cena diving back in for the save. Crews comes back in with rolling German suplexes on AJ, only to walk into an STO of all things from Corbin. Baron throws on a chinlock, which really shouldn’t be seen in a six way match.
We go to another break and come back with stereo Towers of Doom (because that’s how wrestling works) and Corbin getting two off Deep Six to Crews. Apollo’s toss powerbomb gets two with Bray pulling the referee out. The Zig Zag should finish Bray but there’s no referee. Cena finally remembers he’s in this match and AA’s Ziggler and AJ with the latter getting two.
Crews and Wyatt take AA’s as well but Corbin takes a bit more to get up and elbows his way out. And scratch that as the second attempt works, only to have AJ springboard in with the forearm. Styles turns right into a superkick though and Ziggler gets the very surprising pin at 16:12.
Rating: C+. ZIGGLER??? Of all the people you have here you pick ZIGGLER??? I mean I know this lets you have Styles vs. Cena and…..well that’s about it actually. Yeah Smackdown needs new stars but the best they can do is having Dolph Ziggler’s main event push brought out of mothballs? I don’t hate it but I’m going to need to see a lot more of this before I accept Ziggler as a top challenger.
Shane, Bryan and Ambrose come out and say nothing to fill in the last four minutes of the show.
Overall Rating: C. This show’s main issue is it followed last night’s great Raw. It’s certainly not a bad show and they did some good things (Crews getting a push, setting up the title match, the women showing up) but on the other hand you have Orton’s completely needless destruction of Miz, Heath Slater and Rhyno instead of American Alpha (which at least gives you something to look forward to next week so it’s not all bad. This show set left a lot to be desired but it’s certainly not terrible. The problem is Smackdown didn’t look great in the first place and now those suspicions are even more confirmed.
Results
Apollo Crews won a battle royal last eliminating Kane
Becky Lynch b. Natalya – Disarm-Her
Randy Orton b. The Miz – RKO
Dolph Ziggler b. AJ Styles, Apollo Crews, John Cena, Bray Wyatt and Baron Corbin – Superkick to Styles
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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Summerslam Count-Up – 1990: One Of My Favorites
Summerslam 1990
Date: August 27, 1990
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 19,304
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper
This is a personal favorite of mine as I’ve probably seen this show upwards of 40 times. It was the first tape I ever owned and I went through at least two copies. We have a double main event tonight with Hogan returning to face Earthquake and Ultimate Warrior defending the world title against Rick Rude in a cage for the final blowoff in their rivalry. Let’s get to it.
We open with a look at the fans coming into the arena and buying merchandise.
Now we get a traditional intro with Vince shouting about the double main event.
Rockers vs. Power and Glory
Power and Glory (Hercules and Paul Roma) get a jobber entrance. The camera immediately goes wide during the opening brawl so you don’t see Shawn’s knee get grazed by Hercules’ chain. His knee was REALLY badly hurt at this time so he’s just here for an appearance, making this a handicap match for all intents and purposes. Marty hits a quick dropkick to both guys and gets a small package on Roma but Slick has the referee.
Vince is freaking out over the referee missing stuff as Marty clotheslines Herc to the outside. We officially start with Roma vs. Jannetty and Roma tagging his way out of a sunset flip. Shawn is still on the floor as Hercules pounds away and slams Marty down. Roma plants Jannetty with a backbreaker for two but Marty comes back with a powerslam. The top rope fist connects with Paul’s head but Hercules breaks up the pin. Roma sends Jannetty into a clothesline from Herc as Shawn is screaming in pain. The superplex/top rope splash combo is enough to finish the massacre of Jannetty.
Rating: C-. The match wasn’t too bad all things considered. The crowd is white hot here and they carried the match to a higher level than it could have reached on their own. It’s kind of a shame that Marty had to be Shawn’s partner as his own skills were overlooked by his far more talented partner.
Post match Shawn finally gets into the ring but Marty covers his injured leg and takes a beating himself. Shawn is taken out on a stretcher.
Mr. Perfect isn’t worried about the Texas Tornado because he’s perfect. Tornado had been around for only a few weeks if even that coming into this. Heenan says Texas Tornadoes never do any damage because you can see it coming from a mile away.
Texas Tornado says that Perfect doesn’t know anything about Texas Tornadoes. They’re powerful and devastating, and tonight he’s going to go back into the clouds with the Intercontinental Title. I’ve always liked this promo: it’s short, it’s to the point, and it ties into the character name. Short and sweet. Note that Tornado is wearing yellow trunks here, just like Perfect. He’d change to white for the match
Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado
Tornado launches him into the corner to start and Perfect has a breather on the floor. The idea is that Perfect hasn’t had time to plan for Tornado and doesn’t know how to deal with him. Back in and Perfect hooks a quick hiptoss but Tornado slams him down and clotheslines Perfect out to the floor.
Back in and Perfect hits a clothesline of his own and the necksnap has Tornado in trouble. Off to a sleeper on Tornado but he quickly makes the rope. Perfect tries slapping him in the face, but Tornado pulls him into a slingshot, sending Perfect head first into the post. The Claw hold and Tornado Punch are enough for the pin and the title.
Rating: D+. This is a weird one as it’s about three and a half minutes of stalling before the fast ending. This was supposed to be Brutus Beefcake’s shot but he injured his face in a parasailing accident and Tornado was here as a surprise, which is likely why they went with the title change. Perfect would get the title back a few weeks later.
Mean Gene is talking about Sapphire being nowhere in sight (remember that as it becomes important later) when Hennig and Brain come in and say Tornado cheated by sending Perfect into the post. Heenan swears, yes SWEARS I SAY, that the shoulder was up at two.
Sapphire vs. Sensational Sherri
Sherri has on something like a big Mardi Gras mask which terrified me as a kid. Not that it matters as there’s no Sapphire. The music plays again but there’s still no Sapphire. Sherri says count to ten and then ring the bell. There’s still no Sapphire so Sherri wins by forfeit.
Dusty Rhodes isn’t sure where Sapphire, his chick, is. The idea is that Sapphire has been getting a bunch of gifts and no one knows who is sending them. The benefactor is scheduled to be revealed tonight. In what can only be described as a bizarre and random cameo, Jim Duggan pops up, says he hasn’t seen Sapphire either, and walks away. Dusty lists off the gifts (ring, bracelet, fur coat, Cadillac etc) and that’s about it.
Warlord vs. Tito Santana
Piper makes Mexican jokes as Tito grabs a headlock. Warlord easily shoves him down and Piper suggests going for a taco. Three straight dropkicks send Warlord out to the floor for a consultation with Slick. Back in and Tito pounds away but is launched to the outside on a kickout. Warlord rams Tito’s back into the post as Piper does a horrible Slick impression. Back in and Warlord pounds on the back but Tito fires off a quick clothesline and right hands. The flying forearm hits out of nowhere but Warlord gets his foot on the ropes. Back up a few seconds later and a powerslam abruptly ends Tito.
Rating: D+. Tito was a jobber to the stars at this point and made Warlord look as good as he could have, but the match was nothing special at all. Warlord just wasn’t all that good other than having muscles on top of muscles. Tito also jobbed to Barbarian at Wrestlemania so they had an idea of what they were using him for at this time.
Ad for Survivor Series. That show SUCKED.
Demolition says it’s going to be a surprise combination of them facing the Hart Foundation for the titles. Sean Mooney asks them about a match with Legion of Doom, giving us this joke from Crush: “They’re just a couple of second rate imposters.” It’s funny if you know your history.
Demolition has their entrance and it’s Smash/Crush. The Hart Foundation says they don’t care which combination they were going to face.
Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Demolition
This is 2/3 falls and Demolition is defending. Basically the Harts have about as much chance coming into this as I have at being Miss America 1974. Bret starts with Smash but the Harts knock Crush to the floor before anything gets going. Things settle down and Bret gets a quick rollup for two. Anvil comes in to crank on Smash’s arm before Bret comes back in with a fist to the back. Smash tries to get into a technical match with Bret and gets caught in an armbar for his stupidity.
Smash finally slams Bret down and brings in Crush, only to have Bret avoid an elbow and pound away. Crush charges into a boot in the corner and gets rolled up for two before it’s off to Neidhart vs. Smash, only to have Crush kick Jim in the back to give the champions the advantage. Crush comes in again and misses a charge into the corner, allowing for another double tag to Bret and Smash. Neidhart falls to the floor as everything breaks down. Smash is whipped into Crush and Bret gets two off the middle rope elbow but here’s Crush again. The Decapitator to Bret is enough for the first fall.
The second fall begins with Crush hitting a hard clothesline on Bret and Smash pounding on the chest. After a quick neck crank by Crush, Bret fires off the Hart Attack clothesline on Smash, allowing for the hot tag to Neidhart. A powerslam gets two on Smash and Bret launches Anvil into Smash in the corner. The Hart Attack takes Smash down but Crush breaks up the pin for the DQ to make it 1-1. Why they didn’t let the Harts get the pin there is beyond me.
During the break between falls, Demolition knocks Bret to the floor, allowing Ax to run down and sneak under the ring. The third fall starts with Bret getting two off a sunset flip before taking Smash down by the leg. Neidhart picks Bret up for the reverse powerslam for two on Smash. Now things get tricky as Smash rolls to the floor and rolls under the ring, switching places with Ax.
The idea is that Ax and Smash look so much alike that the referee can’t tell them apart. This is fine except for one problem: THEY DON’T LOOK ALIKE! Ax is taller, heavier set and has a rounder head, not to mention a deeper voice. This reasoning never made sense to me as a kid and it still doesn’t to this day.
Anyway the fresh Ax destroys Bret and gets two off Bret’s chest bump in the corner. Anvil comes in sans tag as Smash takes Ax’s place again. They try to switch again and the Legion of Doom come out to break it up. Smash goes after Hawk and Animal as Anvil shoulder blocks Crush into a rollup by Bret for the pin and the titles. The place comes unglued as the Harts have shocked the world.
Rating: B. That’s probably a bit high but I love this match. The wrestling is just ok but the storytelling is as good as you’ll get in a tag match with the LOD coming out to even things up, allowing the Harts to finally do the impossible and win the titles. This is a popular match among old school fans and if you watch it you’ll see why.
Wrestlemania VII ad, with Vince promising over 100,000 fans. “Terror threats” prevented this from happening, which is WWF speak for “the Los Angeles Coliseum would have been half empty so we’ll move it to an arena.”
The LOD goes on a big rant about how they’re the real thing and Demolition is living in their world. The Harts come in and say they’ll fight anyone anytime.
Demolition wants to get their hands on the LOD.
Sherri has hear rumors about Sapphire and thinks she might be a UFO and not that stupid. It’s a rather strange interview and we’ll leave it at that. Basically Sapphire has done something that Sherri thinks is smart.
Nikolai Volkoff and Jim Duggan are proud to be international tag team partners. We’re in intermission if that wasn’t clear.
Earthquake and Dino Bravo brag about putting Hogan on the shelf. Big Bossman, Hogan’s friend of the month, will be no problem for Dino. Jimmy Hart says Bossman and Hogan will leave on side by side stretchers.
Jake Roberts says he isn’t afraid of Bad News Brown’s sewer rats. The snake keeps wrapping around Jake’s throat in a creepy visual.
Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown
Big Bossman is guest referee for no apparent reason. Brown jumps Jake before Bossman is in the ring but has to bail out of a DDT attempt. Back in and Bad News tosses Jake down and gets two off a legdrop. Jake tries the DDT a second time but Brown bails to the floor again. Roberts follows him out and gets hit in the ribs with a chair which isn’t a DQ for some reason. Back in and Bad News pounds away as Piper asks if Vince has ever smelled Brown. Jake avoids a middle rope elbow and hits the short clothesline but Brown backdrops out of the DDT. Another chair shot to Jake is good for the lame DQ.
Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and I’m still not sure why Boss Man was in here at all. Jake and Brown didn’t do anything else after this and Brown didn’t go after Boss Man after the feud, so I guess he was there as an enforcer for reasons not important enough to explain. The match was just ok.
Brown tries to drop a leg on the snake but Bossman makes the save. Bad News beats him down as well but Jake pulls the snake out of the bag to chase Brown off. This was Brown’s last major appearance in mainstream wrestling.
Demolition yells a lot.
Time for the Brother Love Show with a REAL American as his special guest: Sgt. Slaughter. This would be the start of his heel turn as he didn’t like the idea of Nikolai Volkoff becoming an American and wants America to be how he liked it. Slaughter gives Love the Great American Award and declares WAR on Volkoff, while also saying that Sadaam Hussein would destroy America in a real war. Somehow this took nearly ten minutes.
Mr. Fuji says his Orient Express will leave big red marks on Volkoff’s head.
Gene sees Sapphire go into a dressing room and lock the door behind her.
Orient Express vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Jim Duggan
Duggan and Volkoff sing God Bless America and get jumped in a twist on the old foreigners’ gimmick. We start with the small Tanaka trying to match strength with Volkoff. Vince: “That wasn’t too bright.” Piper: “Yep, real dumb.” You can’t make it any simpler than that. Sato kicks away at Volkoff a bit but it’s hot tag to Duggan who cleans house and finishes Tanaka with the three point clothesline. This was nearly a squash.
Sapphire won’t open the door for Dusty but Rhodes swears he’ll figure this out tonight one way or another.
Macho King Randy Savage doesn’t care about Rhodes being out there alone and says he understands Sapphire’s decision to leave a common man. I’m a big Savage fan and the energy he puts into his promos always impresses me. He’s got NOTHING to talk about here and he was going nuts anyway.
Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Savage
Before the match we hear a familiar laugh and cut to Ted DiBiase on the interview platform. He’s been spending the last several weeks telling Dusty that he has a price just like everyone else but Dusty has kept turning him down. Tonight, someone else had a price: Sapphire, Ted’s latest purchase. Ted’s latest gift to her is a bag of money which is hard to pass up. DiBiase brings up the most obvious point to the story: who else could afford to pay for all the gifts Sapphire has been getting?
Rhodes charges at DiBiase but Savage jumps him from behind to start the match. Back in and Savage hits a top rope ax handle for two. Dusty comes back with some elbows but his heart isn’t in this. He has to stop to chase Sherri though, allowing Savage to knock Rhodes out cold with Sherri’s loaded purse for the pin. This was nothing.
DiBiase leaves his suite but bails with Virgil and Sapphire as Dusty arrives. This would start a long feud which would include the debuts of Undertaker and Dustin Rhodes and Virgil’s face turn.
Hogan says that he can’t tell a lie because he’s like George Washington. He loved his Hulkamaniacs for supporting him and remembers Tugboat for leading the charge until Earthquake and Bravo beat him down. Bossman says that Quake and Bravo have the Constitutional right to a beating tonight.
Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake
This is Hogan’s big return after being gone all summer due to an attack by Earthquake which broke his ribs. They lock up but Hogan can’t shove the big man around. Now Quake shoves him down a few times as Jimmy is losing his mind. Quake shoulders him out to the floor and Hogan takes a breather with Bossman. Back in and Hogan tries pounding away but Quake sends him into the corner to take him back down. Hogan gets a boot up in the corner and nails some clotheslines but Quake won’t go down.
After knocking Bravo and Hart off the apron, Hogan finally drops Earthquake with the big windup punch. All four guys get inside and the heels both take big boots to the face. The referee puts Bossman out though, allowing Bravo and Quake to hit a double slam on Hogan. A big elbow drop keeps Hogan down and a top rope forearm (from the 468lb Earthquake) to the back has Hogan down again. Off to a Boston Crab but Hogan tries to push his way out. That doesn’t work so Hogan looks to his left and realizes he’s about four inches from the rope for the break.
Bravo gets in some cheap shots on the floor but Earthquake misses an elbow drop back inside. Hogan finally gets to his feet (sidenote: Roddy Piper should not be allowed to cheer for Hogan. Ever.) but falls back down on a slam attempt. Off to a bearhug by Earthquake as the match slows down. Hulk punches out of it and tries a cross body like a schnook, earning the powerslam he gets as a result. Earthquake drops a pair of Earthquake splashes (seated sentons) but Hogan gets up at two to shock the crowd.
It’s Hulk Up time and there’s the slam but Dino distracts the referee after the legdrop. Jimmy comes in but gets tossed at Earthquake, sending everyone to the floor. Hart accidentally hits Quake with the Megaphone and Hogan slams the big man onto a table (it’s in Philadelphia after all)….for a countout? For the life of me I have no idea why Hogan didn’t get a pin here. I guess they wanted to save that for house shows, but it’s not like people wouldn’t want to see Hogan do it again live.
Rating: B-. The match itself was nothing of note but this is exactly what the fans wanted to see other than Hogan getting a pin. These two feuded on the house show circuit for the next four months or so, which really is amazing when you consider how basic the angle was that set it up. This falls into the fun category which is fine for a show like this.
Post match Quake chokes Hogan until Bossman blasts him in the back with a STEPLADDER. Quake finally drops him and looks at Bossman so the cop pulls out the nightstick to chase them off. Lots of posing ensues as you can see the house show rematches with any combination of these four guys being made up.
We go to the back where Rude and Heenan talk about Rocky Balboa facing Apollo Creed. Rude has beaten him before and he’ll do it again because a cage is his kind of match. Heenan says there will be no sequels either.
Dusty goes on a rant about being in a storm with only America being able to offer him shelter. He doesn’t have a price for Ted DiBiase and he’s coming for the Million Dollar Man. The feud would have been better if Sapphire hadn’t disappeared after this show.
Lord Alfred Hayes talks about the cage being constructed and how it’s put together. It’s more interesting than it sounds.
Hogan brags about winning and says there’s a fourth demandment: believe in yourself. He wants the world title back and will beat Earthquake as many times as it takes to be #1 contender again.
Vince and Roddy talk about Hogan vs. Earthquake happening again.
Earthquake, Hart and Bravo say the war isn’t over for Hogan and Bossman.
The Warrior rants about Rick Rude being cracked like the Liberty Bell. He says he’ll win and quotes some historic documents to continue the Philadelphia theme.
WWF World Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude
In a cage where you can win by pin or escape. Rude tries to block Warrior from getting into the cage so Warrior knocks him off the top and down into the ring. The champion finally comes in with a top rope ax handle smash and throws Rude into the cage. Rick goes into the cage a few more times but ducks a charge to send Warrior face first into the bars. Rude kicks Warrior away but jumps off the top to put him down again instead of climbing out.
A hard slam into the cage has Warrior down but Rude still won’t try to climb out. Rude tries the Rude Awakening after winning a quick slugout but Warrior easily breaks the hold with raw power. They clothesline each other down before Rude hits a quick Rude Awakening for no cover. Instead Rude goes up to the top of the cage for a right hand to Warrior’s head. Heenan is losing his mind trying to get Rude to cover but Rude goes up the cage again.
This time Rude jumps into a right hand to the ribs but Heenan slams the door on Warrior’s head as he goes to escape. After the two count both guys collide and they’re down again as the match drags some more. Warrior stops him from crawling out while pulling Rude’s trunks down in the process. Heenan is pulled in and whipped into the steel before being sent outside again. The champion Warriors Up and hits the gorilla press before climbing out to retain.
Rating: D. This match sucked and the ending was exactly what people expected. These two had a match on SNME a month earlier and maybe Rude should have taken the title there to give it back to Warrior here. There was nothing of interest here and Warrior never seemed to be in any real danger due to Rude not going for a cover or trying to escape.
Overall Rating: C+. This is a show where the individual parts don’t reflect how the whole show comes out. This is a turn your brain off and have fun show. The main events were exactly what the fans wanted and the other stuff is fun as well. There was a show long angle with Dusty which set up another feud on top of all that. It’s a good example of how not everything needs to be a huge show that changes everything and that’s a good lesson for modern WWE to learn.
Ratings Comparison
Rockers vs. Power and Glory
Original: B-
Redo: C-
Texas Tornado vs. Mr. Perfect
Original: B
Redo: D+
Sapphire vs. Sensational Sherri
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Warlord vs. Tito Santana
Original: C+
Redo: D+
Hart Foundation vs. Demolition
Original: A+
Redo: B
Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown
Original: C-
Redo: D+
Nikolai Volkoff/Jim Duggan vs. Orient Express
Original: D+
Redo: N/A
Randy Savage vs. Dusty Rhodes
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake
Original: B+
Redo: B-
Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude
Original: C-
Redo: D
Overall Rating
Original: A+
Redo: C+
Nostalgia is a powerful drug.
Here’s the original review if you’re interested:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2010/12/12/summerslam-1990/
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Ring of Honor Global Wars 2016: Japanese Cannon Fodder
Global Wars 2016
Date: May 8, 2016
Location: Frontier Fieldhouse, Chicago Ridge, Illinois
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Mr. Wrestling 3
This is a few months old and unfortunately someone requested it recently so I have to actually look at the thing. Basically it’s a bunch of New Japan vs. Ring of Honor matches and a few ROH only matches to pad out the card. I’m really not a fan of this concept, especially after weeks of watching the same thing on ROH TV. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
The opening video talks about the history and business relationship between the two promotions and looks at some of the great matches. Tonight is also about the return of Colt Cabana, who wants Jay Lethal’s ROH World Title. Thankfully the title part gets much more time than the interpromotional matches.
We run down the card in case you bought the show on a whim.
ACH vs. Dalton Castle vs. Roderick Strong vs. Adam Page
Winner gets a TV Title shot at some point in the future. Castle has the Boys with him and is the big crowd favorite. This is one fall to a finish but there are only two people in the ring at once. ACH and Page get things going with Adam scoring off a spinwheel kick. Back up and ACH starts his flips but Strong tags himself in to take a dropkick from Page. That means it’s off to Castle with Dalton doing his lean back to the mat to freak Adam out a bit. Strong tags himself in to beat on Castle as the announcers are worried about a referee mistake.
Page works over Castle with Strong saving a pin, much to Adam’s annoyance. It’s back to Strong to keep Castle down as this has turned into a glorified tag match. Castle gets in a suplex on Page but ACH springboards in for a swinging Downward Spiral. The heels are on the floor so Strong can get crushed by a suicide dive from Castle. Everyone but ACH is down on the floor and that means a big flip dive to really pop the crowd. Wrestling 3: “Cheese and crackers he’s good!” Back in and Strong blocks ACH’s top rope splash, only to have Castle Bang A Rang Strong onto Page for the pin at 8:28.
Rating: C. Good choice for an opener here with everyone flying around and the fun character winning to set up the biggest match of his career pretty soon. This is the kind of thing you want to open the show and if there’s one thing ROH knows how to do it’s get a crowd going, especially one like this who is already white hot no matter what.
Strong is livid about the loss.
Cheeseburger/Jushin Thunder Liger vs. Addiction
Daniels won’t shake Cheeseburger’s hand to start so he has to duck an early palm strike. It’s already off to Liger to face Kazarian but everything breaks down with Kazarian taking a bad looking double dropkick. Now it’s time for Kazarian and Cheeseburger to slap it out which really should go to Cheeseburger since he does a big palm strike (yes a palm strike). Kazarian takes over and the double teaming begins with a gutwrench suplex planting Cheeseburger.
Daniels suplexes his partner into a moonsault onto Cheeseburger, setting up an arrogant cover for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before a hurricanrana allows the tag off to Liger (Wrestling 3: “Hot suey tag!”). The Liger Bomb gets two on Daniels but Kazarian breaks up the brainbuster. Celebrity Rehab (belly to back flip into a gutbuster) gets two with Cheeseburger making the save this time. A pair of STO’s put Cheeseburger down but he rolls Daniels up for the big upset at 7:02.
Rating: C-. Cheeseburger has been around for years now and while I get the appeal, he’s really not someone I have any interest in seeing. Yes he’s small and yes his big move is a running slap but that’s not enough to make me want to see him. The Liger partnership only helps a little bit as Cheeseburger just isn’t interesting no matter how you package him.
Post match the Addiction knocks Liger to the floor and hits the Best Meltzer Ever (moonsault into a spike Tombstone) on Cheeseburger.
We recap War Machine vs. the Briscoe Brothers. War Machine have the belts but can’t be considered the best until they beat the greatest team in ROH history. They’ve never beaten the Briscoes before so tonight is also about vindication. Now that’s a simple story that I can get behind.
Tag Team Titles: War Machine vs. Briscoe Brothers
War Machine is defending and this should be a really physical fight though they respect each other. Hanson easily throws Mark out to the floor and the champs start double teaming as I’m assuming they’re the moderate heels here. Jay pulls Rowe outside and now it’s time for the brothers to suplex Hanson. Mark grabs a Russian legsweep and get two off a clothesline. A backdrop sends Mark crashing out to the floor and it’s time for the big man dive to take everyone out.
Hanson does….something that sends him through the table but the camera misses it completely. Thankfully we get a quick replay showing that it was Jay double stomping him through the table, which is something you don’t see often enough. The replay that is, not the double stomp. Back in and it’s Jay slugging it out with Rowe, whose Rock Bottom suplex has no effect. Everything breaks down again and Hanson’s big clothesline flips Mark inside out to put all four on the mat.
We get the double standoff (cool visual) and it’s Jay winning the slugout against Rowe, followed by a Cactus Clothesline to put them both on the floor. Mark keeps things moving with an apron Blockbuster to Hanson as the fans are behind the Briscoes. Rowe blocks a Jay Driller and Superman Forearms Mark out of the air. Back up and it’s Hanson getting double teamed, only to have Jay get caught in the Path of Resistance. Hanson misses the moonsault though and there’s the Jay Driller for two. A pop up German suplex drops Mark and it’s Fallout to retain the titles at 15:15.
Rating: B. The lack of tagging aside, I had a lot of fun with this one as they beat each other up for fifteen minutes and told a story with War Machine going as far as they could to finally beat the Briscoes. Jay and Mark are the kind of team you can throw in there and have them put over anyone because of all the things they’ve accomplished over the years and that’s a very valuable asset.
Tetsuya Naito vs. Kyle O’Reilly
Naito’s IWGP World Title isn’t on the line here but he does come to the ring walking a white suit. Feeling out process to start with Naito threatening a right hand but pulling back and tapping Kyle on the chest instead. Kyle’s leg lock doesn’t get him anywhere and a cross armbreaker across the ropes has the same result.
The crowd cheers for Naito as he dropkicks Kyle because the Japanese guys are the stars here and everyone knows it. A dropkick in the corner sets up a slingshot dropkick have Kyle in trouble but he comes back with the forearms and kicks. That means it’s time for the guillotine choke into an arm trap/leglock at the same time.
Naito climbs the ropes for a tornado DDT followed by a neckbreaker off the ropes for two. They kick each other in the head until Kyle hits a rebound lariat to put both of them down again. A Regalplex gets two on Naito and a knee to the head makes it even worse. Not that it matters as he does a weird backflip into a reverse DDT (Destino) for the pin at 12:03.
Rating: B-. Kyle has grown on me as he’s gone from one of the most overrated people I’ve seen in years to downright tolerable. Naito winning was obvious because New Japan won’t let one of their top stars lose here because that might imply that ROH is on their level. The match was good though again: I need a story, not just having two people have matches.
Naito lays him out and throws the belt down post match.
We recap Kazuchika Okada/Moose vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi/Michael Elgin. Moose impressed Okada in their singles match and now they’re teaming. End of story and all animosity.
Hiroshi Tanahashi/Michael Elgin vs. Kazuchika Okada/Moose
Okada and Moose have Gedo and Stokely Hathaway in their corner. Tanahashi and Okada start things off and the fans are in awe, despite knowing that this was a distinct possibility. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Okada vs. Moose and the fans aren’t pleased. Elgin does the delayed vertical suplex but Moose no sells it. You know, because it’s just a suplex.
Tanahashi comes in and mocks the Moose chant, only to have Moose and Okada dropkick their opponents to the floor. Moose isn’t done as he hits a big dive to the floor to take them out and get the fans’ respect for a bit. It’s Tanahashi playing the face in peril (good role for him) until Moose misses a charge, allowing the hot tag off to Elgin for the powerful house cleaning. Elgin only stays in for a bit before we get to the real showdown with Okada vs. Tanahashi with Okada getting the worst of it.
Tanahashi escapes a Tombstone attempt but neither can hit a Rainmaker. Instead Okada hits a Sling Blade but Elgin comes back in to powerslam Tanahashi off the top. Elgin puts Tanahashi on his shoulders for a kind of reverse Alabama Slam for two on Okada with Moose making the save. Tanahashi and Moose head outside with Elgin hitting a hard clothesline to the back of Okada’s head. Moose comes back in with a spear to Elgin, followed by the Rainmaker for the pin on Elgin at 13:46.
Rating: B-. This wasn’t bad though I could have done with Moose pinning Elgin and actually getting a big rub off this instead of just getting to stand next to the big star. At least Moose was actually involved in the ending as until then it was just about all of the New Japan guys doing their thing while Moose was along for the ride.
We recap Tomohiro Ishii vs. Bobby Fish which really shouldn’t have anything to do with Ishii but screw off with the whole storytelling thing when we can just go “New Japan vs. ROH, next.” Fish had been feuding with Strong over the title as Fish made him tap but the referee didn’t see it, allowing Strong to retain the title. Then Ishii won the title and took it over to Japan, leaving Fish to beat Strong again and earn this shot in what should have been the title change.
I’ve already done this one twice for ROH TV so I’m just copying it instead of doing it all over again.
TV Title: Tomohiro Ishii vs. Bobby Fish
Ishii is defending. Fish actually runs the much bigger Ishii over to start but Ishii does the same to send Fish outside for a bit of his time. Back in and Fish fires off some kicks to put Ishii in trouble, which isn’t something you see happen to him that often. Ishii wins another slugout though and a headbutt puts Fish down with ease.
Fish makes the mistake of headbutting Ishii and the referee has to check on him as a result. The champ gets knocked off the top but Fish misses a flying headbutt, only to start back in with kicks to the knee. Fish hits an exploder suplex for two but getting headbutted for his efforts. Ishii gets his own near fall with a delayed vertical superplex, followed by a Saito Suplex.
Fish looks mostly dead so Ishii powerbombs him for two more but Bobby grabs a sleeper. I could go for a small vs. big match without the smaller guy jumping on his back with a sleeper. It’s just so overdone. Ishii, seemingly annoyed with how lame Fish’s strategy was, German suplexes him down.
They head to the apron with Fish back on his feet and slugging it out. As expected, Ishii easily knocks him down but Fish kicks the leg out to put both guys down on the floor. Back in and a hard lariat gets two for the champ but Fish goes back to the sleeper. He fires off some elbows to the head and survives a flip attempt to actually knock Ishii out at 15:30.
Rating: B. The match was a good, hard hitting brawl but Ishii is the definition of a guy that had no business winning the title or being involved in this story whatsoever. Strong vs. Fish had been a well built up story but instead of getting the payoff we had been set up for, Ishii got the belt despite having no connection to either of them. That’s becoming too common of a tradition and it’s getting old in a hurry. This match was good but Fish vs. Strong would have been as well and had a strong story to go with it. Which sounds better?
Kushida/Matt Sydal/Motor City Machine Guns vs. Bullet Club
For the sake of simplicity, I’ll only refer to Matt Sydal as Sydal and Matt Jackson as Matt. Young Bucks and the Guerillas of Destiny (Tama Tonga/Tama Loa) here. Kushida and Sydal are IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champions, the Guerillas are the IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Champions and the Bucks are two thirds of the Never Openweight Six Man Tag Team Champions with Kenny Omega. Mr. Wrestling 3 has a Bullet Club Superkick Counter as we get so far into the meta humor that my head wants to explode.
Sydal rides Matt to start so it’s a Too Sweet poke to the eye and a lot of crotch chopping. The good guys (as in not the Club) clean house and it’s a double dive to take the Bucks out. Back in and we get some sweet (not too sweet) triple teaming to on Matt as this is one sided so far. The Bucks start kicking everyone (not superkicking, much to Wrestling 3’s chagrin) but their dives are broken up by Guns’ superkicks. Wrestling 3: “THOSE ARE THRUST KICKS!”
The Guerillas no sell kicks to the face and clothesline the Guns down and it’s time for some Buck diving. Back in and Shelley blocks a superkick but gets kicked in the head anyway. Loa comes in and is one of the biggest balls of energy I’ve seen in a long time with headbutts and splashes to keep Shelley in trouble. Tonga comes in for a splash of his own before it’s off to Matt for a chinlock.
Shelley takes out both Bucks and makes the hot tag off to Kushida as things speed up again. Everyone else clears out and it’s Tonga not being able to powerslam Sydal, who escapes with a kick to the head. Some, ahem, thrust kicks drop the Guerillas before Matt gets quadruple teamed in the corner. A powerbomb/top rope double knees to the face gets two as the Bucks run in for the save.
Skull and Bones (top rope splash/neckbreaker combo) gets two more before Nick comes in and does SUCK IT over and over because popping the crowd is far more important than having a good or logical match. Sliced Bread #2 is broken up and a quick Meltzer Driver puts Shelley away at 13:04. Wrestling 3: “I JUST WASTED SIX GRAND!!!”
Rating: C. The match was certainly watchable but this meta comedy and running jokes throughout the match really bring things down. As I’ve said roughly 18,000 times, the Bucks are supposed to be heels but spend the whole match doing things faces would do. It makes the match feel completely uneven and it’s really annoying when you’re trying to keep the match straight. I know their response is they’re “evolving” the business but as is always the case, that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.
Wrestling 3 is distraught and it gets even worse when BJ Whitmer comes out in a Masked Superstar mask. Whitmer has a flash drive with something Wrestling 3 will want to see.
Long recap of the World Title match with Colt Cabana returning to win the one title he’s never been able to capture. He’s an indy legend but wants one more chance at the big prize. Cabana pinned Lethal in a quick non-title match to earn a shot.
Nigel McGuinness joins commentary.
ROH World Title: Colt Cabana vs. Jay Lethal
Lethal is defending and only has Taeler Hendrix with him. Cabana, the hometown boy, knocks him into the corner to start and the chops start early and Jay hides for a bit. A hiptoss sets up a basement dropkick to knock Cabana out to the apron and they’re still at a fairly hot pace to start. Jay misses another dropkick but a Hendrix distraction fails as well. Eh she’s there because of how she looks, not because of how she does things.
Hendrix redeems herself a bit by grabbing Colt, allowing Jay to hit three straight suicide dives. Unfortunately that means an ejection with Nigel having to drag her to the back by the wrist. Back in and we hit the chinlock before the Lethal Injection is countered into a rollup for two. A quick Lethal Combination sets up the top rope elbow for two on Cabana but he dives into a rollup for the same. They fight over a Tombstone with Jay connecting for two, meaning he’ll likely get a letter from the Bullet Club for copyright infringement.
Colt comes right back with the Billy Goat’s Curse (reverse Boston Crab), only to have Hendrix run out and pull the referee to the floor. Speaking of the Bucks, here they are to superkick the referee and Hendrix. The Bucks pull out two Bullet Club shirts (Wrestling 3: “I’M GETTING THE SHIRT!!!”) and toss them to Lethal and Cabana (Wrestling 3: “BUT I WORKED SO HARD!”). There go the lights and it’s Adam Cole in the ring in the shirt. Cabana and Lethal take superkicks and we’ll call it a DQ at about 16:00.
Rating: C+. This was fine until the ending with the Bullet Club taking over the ending and making it all about them instead of having anything to do with the match. Unfortunately this is probably it for Cabana, who was really in this spot for the sake of having a face for the Bucks to superkick. In other words: it’s the same thing that happened far too often on this show but that’s how Ring of Honor works these days.
Security eats superkicks and the counter goes back up but they only count double kicks as one. I DEMAND A REFUND! The Guerillas come out and the beating continues with Loa spray painting BC on a table and a security guard being powerbombed through it. More spray paint continues with the announcers getting kicks of their own.
The Bucks jump on commentary to do a Jim Ross impression because that’s cutting edge. Cole ties Lethal to the ropes and superkicks him a few times with the counter still going. Cue the Bucks’ dad (just go with it) who gets superkicked as well. The cameraman is kicked down and the Club all stare into the camera to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. This is a show where the wrestling really isn’t important. This show was all about the Japanese stars looking WAY more important than the ROH stars, making this far less a competitive show and much more about making New Japan look completely superior to Ring of Honor.
There were eight total matches on this show with Ring of Honor wrestlers winning in five of them. Of those five wins, there were two tag matches with a New Japan partner and two matches with no New Japan stars involved. Counting the no contest, New Japan went 4-1 along with destroying the World Champion and the #1 contender to close the show.
This was basically a New Japan show featuring the Ring of Honor players. I get the concept there, but that’s been all we’ve seen on Ring of Honor TV for weeks leading up to this pay per view. Yes I said pay per view, as this show carried a $45 price tag. I’m sure all the fans who paid to see Ring of Honor vs. New Japan, which is how this show was billed (in the one week of TV dedicated to it), and got the Bullet Club dominating everything in the end.
If that’s what you want to see on your Ring of Honor shows then so be it but I really do not care about seeing the Young Bucks, Okada, Tanahashi or any of the other names come in and beat the tar out of the Ring of Honor stars. The wrestling was actually quite good but the booking was a disaster, especially since the ending was just a big TUNE IN NEXT WEEK…..when you get a Jay Lethal special! Followed by a Bullet Club special!
Ring of Honor REALLY needs to switch some stuff up because this booking isn’t doing anyone but New Japan and the Bullet Club any favors. If that’s what Ring of Honor is going for then keep going with it but it’s really not working for me. I watch ROH because I like their roster but the last few months have told me that they exist for the sake of putting over New Japan and this NWO tribute stable for reasons that I really do not understand. I’m sure it’s some kind of knock on WWE for introducing the Club because that’s unfair or whatever their latest reasoning is. Either way, it’s a good but very, very frustrating show.
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Monday Night Raw – July 25, 2016: The Newer New Era
Monday Night Raw
Date: July 25, 2016
Location: CONSOL Energy Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole
After three months of a new era, we’re actually in a New Era as we’ve reached the first show with an exclusive Raw roster, which means a lot of things that aren’t entirely clear. We don’t officially have a World Champion as Dean Ambrose retained the title last night to keep it on Smackdown. Hopefully tonight we actually get some answers to the questions left over from the Draft so let’s get to it.
Quick look at the main event.
Opening sequence, complete with a new logo and theme song.
The announcers are no longer at ringside and are up by the entrance instead. There’s also a new set.
Mick Foley and Stephanie McMahon are in the ring to introduce the entire Raw roster. Stephanie blames Reigns for costing them the title and says there has never been an episode of Monday Night Raw without a World Champion (Uh……what? Just……what?) so tonight they’re going to rectify that problem. Tonight there will be two fourways with the winners squaring off tonight for the right to go to Summerslam to face Seth Rollins for the…..wait for it….WWE Universal Heavyweight Championship (Killjoy is going to love that one). Foley introduces the eight people in the fourways:
Sami Zayn
Sheamus
Cesaro
Rusev
Roman Reigns
Kevin Owens
Chris Jericho
Finn Balor
We’re not done yet though as Charlotte is going to be defending the Women’s Title against Sasha Banks. The first fourway is right now.
Cesaro vs. Rusev vs. Kevin Owens vs. Finn Balor
Owens gets a big pop but the crowd doesn’t seem to know Balor’s pose yet. They’ll get the hang of it soon enough. Balor and Owens are left inside with Finn scoring off a dropkick but Cesaro takes over with some uppercuts as we hit a break less than ninety seconds after the bell. Back with Owens and Rusev staring each other down until Balor comes back in to get caught in a German suplex.
Cesaro gets double teamed as well but Rusev misses a top rope splash. The heels start fighting until Cesaro cross bodies both of them. The uppercut train starts up but Rusev breaks up the Swing. Everyone goes to the floor and it’s Balor hitting a big flip dive for his first major pop of the night. Back in and 1916 (lifting reverse DDT) gets two on Cesaro and we take another break. We come back again with Rusev at the base of a Tower of Doom to plant everyone at the same time.
Owens gets two on Balor with the torture rack neckbreaker. The Bullfrog Splash crushes Cesaro and the Pop Up Powerbomb plants Balor. The Neutralizer is broken up though and Rusev grabs the Accolade on Owens. Cesaro comes back in and Swings Rusev, only to have Owens break up the Sharpshooter. Balor comes right back in with dropkicks though and the Coup de Grace puts Rusev away at 20:31.
Rating: B. I can’t even get mad at them for having the US Champion get pinned again when Cesaro was right there. This was really the only way to go with this match as you don’t have Balor debut and then lose in his first match. I don’t need him to go to the title match at Summerslam but he needs to have a dirty finish tonight. Good match here though and a good way to showcase Balor, which was the entire point.
Nia Jax vs. Brit Baker
Nia throws her around to start and ties her in the Tree of Woe. The legdrop only gets two as Nia pulls her up. A headbutt and another legdrop put Baker away at 1:20. Total squash.
Golden Truth are playing Pokemon Go and annoy Sasha Banks. Sasha says she’ll win tonight.
Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho vs. Sami Zayn vs. Roman Reigns
Sheamus and Jericho double team Reigns to start and Sami joins in on the beating. Reigns is sent to the floor so it’s Sami getting beaten down by both guys until Sami backdrops Jericho onto Sheamus. That means it’s time for Reigns to come back in and slam Sami down for two as the announcers talk about Stephanie. Sheamus comes back in for the ten forearms on Sami until Jericho knocks the Irishman to the floor. Reigns hits the big dive to take all of them out and we go to a break.
Back with Reigns getting double teamed but fighting back, only to get caught in a Blue Thunder Bomb for a very hot near fall. The Razor’s Edge sitout powerbomb gets two on Sami but the Brogue Kick cuts off the Superman Punch. Sami adds a Helluva Kick, only to have Jericho steal the near fall. A Brogue Kick saves Jericho from the Walls but Sami dives over to break up the cover. Back to back Superman Punches drop the heels and the Codebreaker is countered into…..something botched. Jericho takes another Superman Punch and the spear advances Reigns at 17:06.
Rating: C+. Not in the same ballpark as the first match with Sami and Sheamus basically disappearing in the last few minutes. Reigns winning was predictable and I’d be shocked if they went with Balor vs. Rollins for the title. They’re running a risk of having Reigns get back into the title picture so soon but I don’t think there was ever any real doubt.
Here’s New Day to celebrate 337 days as Tag Team Champions. After Woods says he’s glad Bray was drafted to Smackdown and a quick BootyO’s ad, we get a montage of the title reign. Tonight, New Day is going to let a member of the crowd be an honorary member of New Day, but the question is who.
They pick a somewhat rotund man in a New Day shirt and Big E. asks sonny boy what his name is. Man: “Sonny Boy.” Kofi: “No your government name.” Man: “Sonny Boy.” New Day doesn’t quite buy this and ask if that’s the name that comes on his bills or how he signs the check at restaurants. The dancing is on but the Club comes out to interrupt and beat the champs down. Big E. takes a Magic Killer and the other two lose their shirts. The Club talk trash to Sonny Boy and throw a shirt at him.
Curtis Axel vs. Neville
Axel is listed as Mr. Irrelevant because he was picked last. Neville snaps off a neckbreaker to start and flips over him a few times. A standing shooting star to the back keeps Axel in trouble and the lifting German suplex puts him in the corner. The Red Arrow puts Curtis away at 3:45.
Rating: D+. Neville is still Neville, meaning he still does almost every spot he has in each match which explains why they get weaker and weaker reactions every single time (see also Cesaro). Axel continues to be treated like a goof, especially when he should just be Joe Hennig and be Mr. Perfect II but that’s too easy for WWE for reasons I don’t understand.
Darren Young wants the Intercontinental Title but Bob Backlund’s pep talk is cut off by the Pokemon Go hunt. Backlund yells a lot.
Video on Finn Balor.
Charlotte thinks Sasha will crack under the pressure tonight.
Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte
Charlotte is defending. They lock up and go down to the mat with a rollup freaking the champ out. Dana offers a quick distraction and earns an early reprimand. Banks grabs a quick Bank Statement but only gets a modified version of the hold, allowing Charlotte to escape. That’s nice of her. Instead Sasha sends her outside for the double knees from the apron and a near fall.
Charlotte kicks Sasha into the corner and then drives her into the barricade, setting up some trash talking with the belt in hand. Dana picks up the dropped belt and Sasha feigns an attack, earning Dana an ejection. Why this isn’t a DQ isn’t clear but it takes us to a break. Back with Sasha fighting out of a double arm crank and hitting more running knees. Charlotte grabs a quick neckbreaker but has to bail out of the moonsault. That’s fine as she lands on her feet (because she can), only to have a flip dive blocked by raised boots. Sasha sends her to the floor for a dive with a SCARY landing as Banks came down on her face.
She’s fine enough to cover Charlotte for two but the champ sends her outside for a huge moonsault to a standing Sasha. I mean, she barely made contact but dang it looked cool. Back in and Natural Selection gets two so we hit the Figure Four. The hold is rolled over but Charlotte goes under the ropes and bends the hold over the apron. Back in and Sasha flips out of another Figure four to grab the Bank Statement but Charlotte’s foot is under the ropes. Another Bank Statement gives Sasha the title in a big surprise at 16:53.
Rating: B+. Botches aside, this was a good match and felt like a big deal. Sasha winning feels like a crowning achievement, despite a limited build and WASTING THREE MONTHS ON THAT CHARLOTTE VS. NATALYA FEUD SO WE CAN CHANGE THE TITLE ON RAW. In theory this sets up either a rematch in Brooklyn or maybe a full time Bayley call up for a shot at Summerslam.
Sasha gives a quick speech about how she’s earned this and this is a new era.
Braun Strowman vs. James Ellsworth
Before the match, James thinks it would be a big win for his career and anyone with two hands can fight. A quick beating sets up a reverse chokeslam to give Strowman the pin at 1:10.
Video on Roman Reigns.
Golden Truth is STILL hunting for Pokemon and find……the Pittsburgh Penguins logo?
Here are Enzo and Cass for a chat about various raw foods. They’re cut off by the Shining Stars of all people and it’s time for a match.
Shining Stars vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass
Primo puts Enzo down for all of thirty seconds before the hot tag brings in Cass to clean house. Cass actually gets low bridged to the floor but here are Golden Truth on the Pokemon hunt. The distraction lets Cass kick Epico in the face for the pin at 1:51. These guys were teaming with JOHN CENA last night and now they’re here?
Roman and Finn wish each other luck.
Finn Balor vs. Roman Reigns
Winner goes to Summerslam to face Rollins for the title. Reigns launches him into the corner to start but Balor snaps his throat across the top. Some kicks to the head don’t have much effect on Reigns as he runs Balor over again. The apron boot misses though and Balor’s slingshot double stomp has Roman in trouble.
We take a break and come back with Roman powerslamming him for two and grabbing a chinlock. A sitout powerbomb gets two but Balor comes back with a string of kicks for a near fall of his own. The Superman Punch only gets two on Balor and everyone is stunned. Balor gets two off his own off a sunset flip to counter the Razor’s Edge bomb. Back to back powerbombs get two more on Finn but Balor grabs a Sling Blade to block the spear. The Coup de Grace gets the big upset pin at 13:57.
Rating: B. I liked it better when AJ Styles did this the night after Wrestlemania but it’s still a good ending and the right call for a change. There was really no need to do Reigns vs. Rollins again and this is a great way to make Balor seem like a big deal. He doesn’t necessarily need to win the title at Summerslam but it’s a really smart idea to have him get a big rub like this on his first night on the main roster.
Post match Reigns says he hopes Balor wins the title because he wants another shot at Finn.
Overall Rating: B. This was up and down all night but the main event and the title change were enough to swing it upwards. That title change really needed to happen as the rest of the show didn’t exactly have a lot going on. The re-debuts were good and the matches made some people fresh players but that doesn’t mean the show was all that entertaining. I really liked the lack of authority figures as they just don’t need to be there that often. Overall it’s a good show but absolutely nothing that blew me away.
Results
Finn Balor b. Rusev, Cesaro and Kevin Owens – Coup de Grace to Rusev
Nia Jax b. Brit Baker – Legdrop
Roman Reigns b. Sami Zayn, Sheamus and Chris Jericho – Spear to Jericho
Neville b. Curtis Axel – Red Arrow
Sasha Banks b. Charlotte – Bank Statement
Braun Strowman b. James Ellsworth – Reverse chokeslam
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Shining Stars – Big boot to Epico
Finn Balor b. Roman Reigns – Coup de Grace
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