I took in the NXT house show tonight in Highland Heights, Kentucky (basically Cincinnati) at the BB&T Arena on the campus of Northern Kentucky University. NXT was at this same arena about nine months ago and they’re already back, though after how things went tonight, I don’t know if there’s going to be a third show.
In short, the place was EMPTY. I showed up at about 7:00 for a 7:30 show and there were only a few hundred people in the arena (which isn’t even very big in the first place). After grabbing some food from the fastest concession stand I’ve ever seen and looking at one of the lamest merchandise stands I’ve ever seen (two titles, a poster of the people appearing on the show and a handful of shirts), I went into the arena and found out that I was sitting next to someone in the corner.
Since there were a few hundred empty seats closer, I sat in one of those, only to have an usher come up and say I could have a third row floor seat for free if I wanted. Even with the ushers giving away dozens of floor seats, there was still an empty seat next to me and three empty seats in what would have been the sixth row. There were a few more people in the stands later in the show but it was still really bad looking.
During the opening matches there was a video feed of the entrances on the Titantron but it had a slight delay, which was really jarring. Then they just stopped doing it and had regular entrance videos.
1. No Way Jose b. Wesley Blake via DQ at 4:23. This was a really oddly booked match with Jose dancing and doing the standard comedy stuff, only to have Blake choke him with his vest. I have no idea why they did it this was as Jose beat him up after the match and hit his pop up right hand finisher anyway. I know Blake is going to be facing McIntyre on TV next week but they can’t have him lose a match like this on a house show? Odd way to open a show but Jose has a future opening house shows for years. He might not work as a regular act and while that’s a problem, he definitely has a place.
2. Sonya Deville b. Lacey Evans at 8:18. This was WAY better than their squash match the previous night on TV. They beat the heck out of each other and Evans was rocking the former Marine gimmick and looked rather fetching doing so. I’ll let you figure out what I mean on that one. Deville hit a Shining Wizard for the pin. Also of note, Lacey’s daughter might have been in the front row. Either that or Deville had a very long running joke about yelling at a girl and calling her Lacey’s daughter.
DIY did a quick promo, talking about how they would beat Sanity later and then lead a parade down the Ohio River. They did almost the same thing at a show in Louisville where Gargano said they would ride horses to Indiana. Ciampa: “HORSES???” Anyway this was fine and I have no idea why it was the only one all night.
3. Drew McIntyre b. Patrick Clark at 8:45. McIntyre has more star power than anyone in NXT save for maybe Bobby Roode. He’s big, he’s in great shape, he wrestles like a veteran and he’s a former Intercontinental Champion. There’s something about him that makes you think he’s a bigger deal than anyone else around and that’s a very good thing. Can someone give me one good reason why he’s not on Takeover?
4. Aleister Black b. Oney Lorcan at 3:20. I was looking forward to this one and it was over way too fast. Much like the women earlier, these two beat the heck out of each other and the chops were some of the loudest I can ever remember hearing. Black’s entrance is still awesome and that Black Mass looks like it could stop a bull.
5. Asuka b. Nikki Cross and Ruby Riot at 9:54 to retain the Women’s Title. This was a preview for Saturday’s title match and there was one very odd detail: they used the old Women’s Title belt. I know they’ll use the new one on Saturday but why in the world not use it here?
Anyway, this was your standard “two in, one out” formula with everyone getting a chance to fight each other. One cool spot saw Asuka come in with a missile dropkick to Cross and land in a splash on Riot for two (I believe that’s how it went but it might have been Riot coming off the top.). We had some near falls until Asuka kicked Cross in the head to retain. Asuka definitely came off like a face here, complete with throwing her shirt to the crowd and offering one heck of a gorgeous smile.
Intermission with trivia and What Happens Next. This is a game where a kid is shown a clip and has to pick what happened next from four choices. Here’s the thing: not only was it the same clip from the last show I went to in the same building (which apparently was the same one they had used at other shows on the tour) but it was Vince being blown up in his exploding limo.
Just in case that’s not clear: the ONLY clip that they can pick from their ENTIRE VIDEO LIBRARY is a man apparently being killed in a firey explosion. You can’t pick, I don’t know, ANYTHING ELSE? The kid got a program, a card with the roster on it and a signed picture of Bobby Roode. At least the prize was good.
6. DIY vs. Sanity (Young and Wolfe) went to a no contest at 4:24. This looked to be the first longer match of the night but it was called off after Ciampa came off the apron with a running knee and seemed to hurt himself on the landing. He crashed all of ten feet in front of me and almost immediately got up and hopped to the back. Someone said he was busted open but I didn’t see it. This seemed like a legit injury as there was no reason to end the match so quickly with the show already seeming to fly by.
Post match Eric Young issued an open challenge for anyone to come out and fight Killian Dain.
7. Killian Dain b. Kassius Ohno at 12:00. This was about what you would expect from Dain as he powered Ohno down and used a bunch of chinlocks. Ohno fought back with some strikes and the pump kicks, plus a Diamond Dust of all things. Dain was busted open off a shot to the face (not bad) but finished him with the Ulster Plantation.
Post match Sanity beat Ohno down but No Way Jose came out for the same. The fans were into Ohno, especially his theme music.
8. Hideo Itami/Roderick Strong b. Bobby Roode/Andrade Cien Almas at 20:52. Let me put it very simply: Roode is an absolute star and he knows exactly what he’s doing out there. From his timing during the entrances (turning around to show off the GLORIOUS written on the back at the right times) to the pose to everything else, it turned into the biggest face pop of the night by a long stretch.
Anyway, this was about what you would have expected as the good guys controlled to start and threw in a lot of mocking Roode’s poses. At the same time, Roode was doing everything he could on the apron, including telling Almas to “come on amigo”. During Almas’ time in the ring, a fan shouted that Roode loved six sides and you could see Bobby covering up a laugh. Eventually Strong got beaten down but avoided a charge and made the hot tag to Itami. Everything broke down and Itami hit a GTS on Almas for the pin.
Itami went to the back almost immediately but Strong went around the ring high fiving fans (including me) and taking some quick photos, which I always find cool. The announcers gave us a quick thank you to end the night.
Overall it was a fun night and about what you would expect from an NXT house show. Counting Ticketmaster fees a mid level seat cost $40 and floor seats were $75, not counting any fees that would be included. A bit pricey but it’s the kind of arena where there isn’t a bad seat in the house. Go and check one of these out if you’ve never seen one before as you’re guaranteed some fun reactions and a good presentation.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Monday Night Raw – August 29, 2005: Believe It Or Not
Monday Night Raw Date: August 29, 2005
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman
This is another request and I’m assuming it’s due to a certain grudge match. We’re eight days removed from Summerslam 2005, which means we’re dealing with WWE Champion John Cena (shocking I know) vs. evil boss Eric Bischoff. Cena is on a hot streak though, having vanquished Chris Jericho last week, sending Jericho off to fired land. Let’s get to it.
We recap Jericho’s loss last week, which is one thing WWE is great about: they get you up to date on the top story so no one comes in confused or lost. Anyway, after getting rid of Jericho, Bischoff brought out the fired up Kurt Angle as the next boss battle.
Opening sequence.
We’ll open up with Carlito’s (Intercontinental Champion) Cabana, which will be replacing the Highlight Reel. Carlito gets right to the point and brings out his guest Shawn Michaels, who is in a suit for some reason. We hear about how much Carlito respects Shawn, who isn’t sure if there’s that much to admire about him. Carlito looked up to Shawn and now Shawn can look up to him. Shawn: “EASY THERE!”
After everything he’s been through in the last month (dealing with Hulk Hogan), he can’t deal with any more ego. A HOGAN chant starts up but Shawn says “until he needs another payoff, he ain’t coming back.” I know he lost the match but score one for Shawn. As for Carlito, the reason people are still talking about Shawn’s matches is because Carlito hasn’t had any great ones. The man makes the title so when is the last time Carlito even defended the belt?
Carlito doesn’t want to hear it and talks about a pecking order around here with him way at the top and Shawn all the way at the bottom. Shawn gives a funny reaction as Carlito loads up the apple. Actually never mind as Carlito brings out Chris Masters for the Master Lock Challenge. Cue Masters as Shawn says he should know better than to get himself into these messes after twenty four years. Carlito grabs a DDT but here’s Ric Flair for the save.
Post break Bischoff postpones the Master Lock Challenge until next week and replaces it with a tag match.
Big Show vs. Buck Quartermain/Steve Madison
Show tosses them around, does the chops in the corner, throws them into the air a bit, suplexes both guys at once and finishes with a double chokeslam. This was what it was.
Post match Snitsky comes in and lays Show out with the bell.
Here are Torrie Wilson and Candace Michelle as full on eye candy. Last week they initiated Ashley Massaro so tonight they want to apologize to her. Cue Ashley, who is labeled a tomboy for some reason, and gets to hear Michelle’s amazing acting abilities. Ashley, the rookie and therefore stupid, accepts the apologies and gets a match as a reward.
Victoria vs. Ashley Massaro
Widow’s Peak, thirty seconds.
Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch are coming. They were the best team in another horrible stretch for the tag division. If nothing else, I miss these vignettes. They’re in a bar and Murdoch is angry, which Cade says is him having a good day. This took less than a minute and told you quite a bit about the characters: Cade is a smooth talker with Texas charm and Murdoch is a bar fighting redneck. You immediately know what you’re getting and have a bit of a connection to the guys when they debut instead of learning about them on the fly. Why can’t we get more of these, which have no budget and are really effective?
Edge is listening to Alter Bridge (sitting around him) when Todd Grisham interrupts. When asked about Lita’s whereabouts, Edge says she’s running an errand. Edge is ready to finish Matt Hardy in a street fight.
Matt is getting ready when Lita comes up and hits on him. She’s spent a long time warming Edge up and unzips the jacket to reveal basically a scarf covering her chest. Lita asks Matt how it feels to know he’ll never experience this again. Matt really doesn’t seem to care and promises to destroy Edge tonight. If that means he goes down too, so be it. Matt looked REALLY intense here and this worked.
Someone has attacked Flair (he’s COVERED in blood for a great visual) and he’s likely out of tonight’s main event. Shawn thinks it was Masters and Carlito and, believe it or not, this DIDN’T lead to Flair turning heel, but rather him beating Carlito for the Intercontinental Title.
Edge vs. Matt Hardy
Street fight as they continue the VERY hot feud based on Lita leaving Matt for Edge in real life, which set up one heck of a story when Matt returned to go after him. Edge is in jeans and Lita is in….well not much actually. They lock up to start and thankfully that’s the end of the wrestling as they fight out to the floor and into the crowd. Matt blasts him in the head with a trashcan lid as Lawler suggests that Lita is called the previously enjoyed companion.
Back from a break with Matt unloading with right hands and blocking a spear with a trashcan lid. The big legdrop (minus the required yodeling) off the ladder gets two but Edge is up (way too fast) with a kendo stick to the ribs and a flapjack into a ladder. Now it’s Edge’s turn to hammer away until Matt grabs a DDT onto the steps.
Lita finally offers a distraction so Edge can jump him from the back, only to have Hardy win another slugout. The moonsault hits ladder though and Edge hits him in the head over and over. They fight up the ramp with Matt taking over but not being able to powerbomb Lita off the stage. Instead it’s a Side Effect to Edge into the electrical equipment, meaning the big sparks display gives us a no contest.
Rating: B. It was a physical brawl but the ending hurts it a bit as we’re stuck waiting on the other big match between these two. The hard hitting helped a lot it’s pretty clear that Matt isn’t on Edge’s level for the long term and he needs to get in what he can while this lasts. It’s an entertaining fight but the ending really didn’t do either of them any favors. Instead of this really meaning anything, it’s just something they did for about twenty minutes before they have their next match. If you have this kind of a brawl, it should probably advance the story a bit instead of feeling like a pit stop.
And now we get all serious with Lawler and Coach going up to help on them as the medical stuff goes through a break. JR doing his Owen Hart voice doesn’t help either. We hit a bunch of recaps while Edge looks terrified about how injured he might be.
After another break, here’s Cena for a chat. Everything’s been going crazy with 50 Cent swearing at the VMA’s and then last week he got attacked by a red white and blue Tasmanian devil. That’s the bad news. The good news though is he just saved a bunch of money on his car insurance. Even Lawler admits that was a funny joke.
All that matters now though is that THE CHAMP IS HERE. Angle might be the #1 contender but Cena has never backed down from a fight in his life. This brings out Angle to say Cena doesn’t want any of him. We see a clip of last week’s attack but Angle says he’s not risking his title shot. Angle lists off his amateur credentials and says he wants the title more than anything else. He doesn’t care about anyone and tells Cena to shut up.
Cena starts to think he’s in over his head because Angle might be the baddest man alive. Eh screw it though because he’s still calling Angle out. Kurt won’t go so Cena brings up Angle attacking from behind. Therefore, Cena is willing to turn his back on Angle to get his hands on him and the fight is on. A quick ankle lock is broken up and Angle bails from a VERY fired up Cena.
Tyson Tomko vs. Rosey
Tomko’s big boot has been destroying jobbers on Heat. Rosey is one half of the Tag Team Champions….and gets knocked out by the big boot in less than a minute.
Hurricane is knocked out as well because WWE is really stupid about their champions. And no, Tomko wasn’t part of the team that took the belts from them.
We look back at Carlito’s Cabana and Flair being assaulted.
Shawn Michaels vs. Carlito/Chris Masters
Officially a handicap match. Carlito gets things going and the threat of a drive into the corner sends Shawn running. Shawn doesn’t seem to mind fighting them both as he chops away and punches Carlito out to the floor. Back in and Carlito gets in some left hands to the jaw as they’re still firmly in first gear.
The double teaming takes over on Shawn, who makes things even worse by missing a charge into the post. A swinging neckbreaker puts Carlito down for a bit and Masters is backdropped to the floor as we take a break. Back with Shawn hitting the flying forearm (flying burrito according to JR) on Carlito and nipping up as only he can.
Masters breaks up the superkick though and the heels take over again. This is certainly getting some time, which isn’t the worst thing in the world. Carlito whips him into the corner for two (A cover off an Irish whip? Really?) and it’s off to Masters for a long form backbreaker.
Shawn’s arm actually falls twice with his back bent over Masters’ knee until he punches his way out. The Masterlock doesn’t work as Shawn grabs a DDT to put both guys down. Cue a bloody Flair to take the tag (because this is a tag match again) and house is cleaned until Carlito hits Ric low. The Masterlock finishes the bloody Flair.
Rating: C+. Not terrible actually but Ross treating this like some major, game changing win for Masters and Carlito doesn’t quite fit. It’s a big win but this isn’t going to turn them into the best heels in the world or anything. Is there a reason they’re not the Tag Team Champions? They’re beating Flair and Shawn while the champs are getting squashed by Tomko. That should be a layup idea but for some reason WWE doesn’t get it.
Overall Rating: D+. There were five matches on this show and three of them were too short to rate. The stories are starting to have some potential and I’d be curious to see what they have for Unforgiven but this was only a short step on the way there. Edge vs. Hardy is more flashy than good and while Lita is always a blast at this point, it’s still not enough to make this a great show.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Monday Night Raw – December 16, 2002: It’s A Bad Sign When They Don’t Fight
Monday Night Raw Date: December 16, 2002
Location: TD Waterhouse Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
We’re past the final pay per view of the year and that means it’s time to get ready for the 2003 Royal Rumble. That also means that the new Raw World Champion HHH needs a new challenger, which means we’re in for a major problem in the next month or two. Words don’t do the upcoming nightmares justice so let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Trish Stratus/Test vs. Victoria/Steven Richards
I don’t see the Canadian connection lasting all that long as WWE isn’t likely to have two women working together without fighting for more than a show or two. Also, those Testicle jokes really were supposed to make Test a face? Trish kicks Victoria in the head before the bell (that evil Canadian) but gets suplexed by Richards to change control.
Victoria grabs something like a high angle Texas Cloverleaf but drops the legs back like a DDT to wrench Trish’s back. Stratus gets two off a rollup as Lawler talks about how her puppies don’t have eyes. The hot tag brings in Test to clean house but Richards saves Victoria from the pump handle slam. Richards gets two off a Downward Spiral but Stacy offers a distraction, allowing Test to boot him in the face for the pin.
Rating: D+. Not terrible but I’m really trying to get my head around Test being a face. I mean, it’s better than hearing the Testicle jokes over and over again so I can’t complain too much. We’ll consider this an example of a meaningless match that was fine, albeit nothing that needed to exist.
Eric Bischoff and Chief Morely meet in the back with Bischoff announcing a HHH appreciation night to close the show. Morely has already given Scott Steiner the spot for his official contract signing. Yes, this is really where we’re going. Bischoff isn’t happy and Morely is in charge of fixing things.
Booker is getting some water when Goldie Claus comes in to offer a peek at his sack. It’s a good thing though as Goldust pulls out the Tag Team Titles. Goldust gets serious and thanks Booker for believing in him. Christian and Chris Jericho come up to say their rematch is next week. Goldust gives Christian “new and improved” A** Cream. Goldust: “Now with 35% more a**!”
Christopher Nowinski vs. Maven
The fans are WAY into the Harvard Sucks chant. Chris grabs a rollup for two and chokes in the corner a lot before hitting a seated abdominal stretch. A backbreaker sets up a chinlock as the announcers start arguing about colleges. Maven gets in a dropkick and flapjacks him down for an Oklahoma roll and two. A spinning butterfly slam (the Honor Roll) gives Chris two but Maven blocks a charge. Maven’s middle rope sunset flip is countered into a rollup though and Nowinski grabs the trunks for the pin.
Rating: C. Totally watchable match here but the low level of interest didn’t do it any favors. The problem is these two need to move on from “they were both on Tough Enough” and find stories with someone else. Maybe down in developmental for a few years or so. Still though, pretty easily their best match ever.
Here’s a dancing Shawn Michaels because legends don’t have to sell brutal matches. Last week Ric Flair told him he didn’t have it anymore and needed to tell himself the truth. The truth is the Heartbreak Kid is alive and well. He might not be the World Champion anymore but he definitely stole the show. Shawn went down last night but he went down in a blaze of glory. He feels pretty good tonight and thinks we should make it three out of five. Instead it’s Jericho answering though and we have a new feud.
Jericho thinks we should listen to him because he’s just that much better than Shawn. Chris: “Behold the true sexy boy!” If it was the real Shawn back last night, he would have silenced the critics and, you know, won. That makes it even worse because Shawn is the reason Jericho wanted to come here in the first place. Shawn isn’t the showstopper anymore but the show has stopped. One superkick later and Shawn dances off.
Goldust vs. Christian
Christian goes right after him to start but gets bulldogged for two. An armbar slows things down until Christian comes off the top rope and dives right into something like a Boss Man Slam. A clothesline looks to set up Shattered Dreams but Christian pulls the referee in front and grabs a rollup (plus the ropes) for the cheap pin. I mean, I don’t know how mad I can get at Christian who was just trying to avoid a low blow but that’s what they were going for.
Rating: C+. The time was a problem but points for the energy they had out there. Goldust has hit a career renaissance here, which makes it even more amazing that he’s still going nearly fifteen years later. Considering he had only been around about fourteen years at this point, this Tag Team Title run came at the MIDDLE of his career to date. That’s almost impossible to believe.
Bischoff comes in to see HHH, who is actually reading. The boss tries to let HHH have his big moment now but HHH wants to know what’s going on. When the name Scott Steiner is mentioned, the new champ is really not happy. See, Steiner is a jacked up piece of trash who couldn’t hold HHH’s jock. If Bischoff gives him HHH’s spot, he’ll “pull a Steve Austin” and take the title with him.
Flair tells 3 Minute Warning to follow Batista’s lead.
Morely tells Terri to tell Steiner that he’s looking for him. Actually send him to Morely. No actually just call Morely and let him know. That’s still Val Venis getting this much promo time.
Kane is livid and rants about Flair and 3 Minute Warning. Rob Van Dam gives us a very calm translation of his ravings in an amusing bit. Kane isn’t pleased because he’s being mocked but Van Dam says he just needs to mellow. If you need someone to play half of the odd couple tag team, you do call on Kane.
Kane/Rob Van Dam vs. Batista/3 Minute Warning
No Rico in sight. Batista stomps Rob down to start and blasts him with a clothesline before it’s off to Jamal. Since he’s just Jamal, Van Dam scores with a kick to the face and Rolling Thunder gets two. Jamal ignores Batista to tag in Rosey, who eats a kick to the chest. That’s enough for Flair and Batista, who walk out on the Samoans. Kane comes in with the top rope clothesline but misses a running DDT, only to have Rosey sell it anyway. Well they weren’t considered the best team in the world. Van Dam comes back in as everything breaks down, leaving Jamal to get kicked into the chokeslam for the pin.
Rating: D. I do like the idea of protecting Batista like that and the burial of the Samoans continue. Yeah they’re in hot water at the moment and they weren’t great in the first place but when the division is as thin as it already is, do you want to waste a team that could offer a quick challenge for the titles down the road? I mean, I know WWE is going to do it anyway but that doesn’t make it smart.
Steiner arrives and there’s no Morely in sight.
Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm
It’s a brawl to start again with Regal and Storm getting their clocks cleaned. Storm and Bubba get things going with Lance taking him down and grabbing a quickly broken chinlock. The fans want tables but have to settle for hearing about how much JR likes Regal and Storm again. Regal and Storm take turns on Bubba until a kick to William’s face allows the hot tag to D-Von. Storm gets What’s Up and the reverse 3D is good for two on Regal. The referee gets rid of Bubba and Storm, leaving Regal to bring back the Power of the Punch to knock D-Von cold for the pin.
Rating: D+. Just a match here and the winning streak jazz got a bit annoying as it was basically “well they’re undefeated if you forget the pay per view.” Regal and Storm are fine for a team but they have all the heat of a frozen pizza and that’s the last thing the division and/or the show need right now.
Raw Retro is Mankind winning the title in 1999.
Jeff Hardy vs. D’Lo Brown
Yes seriously and it’s a rematch from Heat where Jeff won despite Brown’s shoulder being up. They start fast again with Jeff sending D’Lo outside for the barricade running clothesline. Back in and Brown talks trash, sounding like he’s blaming people like Jeff for….whatever caused him to turn heel. The chinlock is quickly broken so Brown hits a gordbuster for two (even throwing in some free advice: Jeff better recognize). Jeff shrugs it off with a jawbreaker and sends him to the floor for a dive, followed by a quick Swanton for the pin. Ignore D’Lo’s foot being on the ropes.
Rating: D. I’ve always liked Brown (How can you not?) but he’s one of the least interesting heel turns I can remember in a long time. The problem here is the same as it’s been for years in wrestling: you can’t just bring someone out of mothballs after he’s spent years meaning nothing. It didn’t work back then and it doesn’t now.
Steiner is warming up when Flair comes in to say HHH is the main event. Scott disagrees.
Post break the referee apologizes to Brown, who turns it into a race issue.
Stacy has gotten Test a commercial shoot for a spray on deodorant….that you spray on your abs for some reason. It smells good there so Test knows it’ll smell good on his Testicles. They leave and Raven of all people is shown watching.
Chris Jericho vs. Booker T.
Before the match Jericho yells about being treated unfairly so JR sends us to a commercial. Jericho jumps him before the bell to continue tonight’s trend. Booker fights back but Chris shoves the referee into the ropes for a crotching. A side kick cuts Jericho off for a few seconds, only to have Chris snapmare him into a chinlock.
Booker fights up but gets bulldogged right back down as JR explains the concept of calling someone your “dawg” (which he spells without the a) to Lawler. The twisting sunset flip out of the corner is countered into a cradle for two. The Book End gets the same and we hit the Spinarooni, only to have Christian come in for the DQ. I mean, there’s no bell because we probably need to worry about the MAIN EVENT SLOT but whatever. JR: “Christian has been disqualified.”
Rating: C. Good match from these two as you would expect but there’s only so much you can do when you’re just waiting around for the end of the match. This helped set up next week’s rematch and I’m glad they didn’t have both champs do jobs a night after FINALLY winning the titles.
Booker and Goldust clean house.
Morely tries to convince Steiner to do this next week because Florida doesn’t deserve this. Oh and tonight is for HHH. Scott agrees to Morely’s face but then, to no one in particular, says that HHH will never forget this.
Here are Bischoff and Morely for the closing segment. HHH and Flair come out and we hit the video tribute, set to the same song as his highlight reel from Wrestlemania XVIII. HHH talks about how awesome he is and lists off some great names he’s beaten, making sure to take credit for running off the Rock.
Cue Steiner with his contract that he won’t sign without a World Title shot. HHH talks about how things worked “where Steiner used to work” (there’s your insider reference) but here, you have to beat someone. Steiner says he has big muscles and HHH has no testicles (not to be confused with Testicles). HHH agrees to give him a title shot for no apparent reason and then threatens to eat Steiner.
Scott signs the contract and Bischoff makes the match for the Royal Rumble. This angers everyone involved for some reason (When did HHH expect the match to take place?) but Steiner would rather talk about arm size. Steiner wants the fight tonight and HHH gives the expected response. Scott hits the catchphrase to FINALLY end this after fifteen plus minutes.
Overall Rating: D+. There were some good parts to the show but sweet chickenwings with barbecued mustard the big interview wasn’t one of them. At least have Steiner suplex HHH or something instead of just having them talk to each other. Steiner has gotten physical before but he can’t do so here too?
Anyway, the rest of the show was indeed better as they’ve set up something for next week’s show and they built it up well here. Doing something with the tag division is nice but EVERYTHING feels a mile below the main event, which isn’t any good in the first place. They need a better challenger for HHH (and a better champion but we’ll deal with that later) as the top story isn’t interesting and it’s going to get even worse when they finally have a match.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
NXT Date: May 17, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Percy Watson, Nigel McGuinness, Tom Phillips
It’s the go home show for Takeover: Chicago and that should mean a hard sell towards the show. The card currently has four matches, which is one below the norm for most of the Takeover specials. I’m not sure what to expect tonight but there’s always the chance that the show can be a lot of fun. Let’s get to it.
Bobby Roode arrived earlier today.
Opening sequence.
Drew McIntyre vs. Sean Maluta
Drew does his kneel in the corner until the bell for a good visual. Maluta gets driven into the corner to start but slaps Drew in the chest a few times. That just earns him an even harder chop, followed by a big throw across the ring. Maluta comes back with something like a middle rope Codebreaker for one, only to get thrown into the corner for some rapid fire right hands. Drew has a heck of a mouse under his right eye as he just knocks Maluta silly with a headbutt. The Claymore (or whatever it’s called here) ends Sean at 3:22.
Rating: C. I’m a big McIntyre fan and he’s looking even better here. The power game makes him look very different than he used to as he’s throwing people around like they’re not even there anymore. Add in the fact that he’s that much taller than most of the other NXT talent and he really does come off like the complete package.
McIntyre isn’t worried about having Wesley Blake’s attention and challenges him to a match for next week.
We look back at Hideo Itami defeating Roderick Strong last week to become #1 contender. After the show went off the air, Sanity ran in to beat Strong down again. In the back, Strong told William Regal that he wanted Sanity.
Eric Young can’t believe that Strong, who has a new baby, wants Sanity at Takeover. If Strong wants to lose everything, he’s on.
We get a video package on Hideo Itami’s NXT debut back in 2014. I never would have guessed it was that long ago. That shoulder injury really did take him out for a long time.
We run down the Takeover card.
Video on Tyler Bate defeating Pete Dunne to become the inaugural United Kingdom Champion and the build to their rematch.
The Velveteen Dream is coming.
Video of Itami at the big Wrestlemania XXXI weekend house show where he hit the first GTS. That’s the moment where I had to get to an NXT show no matter what.
Strong vs. Young is confirmed for Takeover.
Earlier today, Asuka was in a car and wouldn’t answer anything, saying “next question” until asking if the interview was over. She’s kind of awesome as a heel, though she stops to take a picture with fans as she arrived at the arena. After she leaves them though, she doesn’t seem pleased with what she had to do.
Lacey Evans vs. Sonya Deville
That would be Macey Estrella vs. Daria Barenato. Sonya doesn’t waste time by hitting her in the face to start before throwing on a bodyscissors. The gloves come off and Sonya pounds the ribs with right hands. Lacey comes back with some shots to the face and a neckbreaker. Not that it matters as Sonya hits a standing Shining Wizard for the pin at 3:02.
Rating: D+. This was almost a squash and that’s a good idea as they need to start restocking the shelves. Deville isn’t the best thing in the world but the MMA style character should have a nice shelf life. Build her up to challenge a face champion and it should be a really easily told story.
We look at Itami putting Roode to sleep.
Kassius Ohno vs. Andrade Cien Almas
Ohno still looks ridiculous with the basketball jersey and trunks. Almas lays on the mat for an early rest before flipping over Kassius into a standoff. The threat of the elbow sends Almas outside but Kassius is fine with kicking him in the jaw. Almas gives him one of his own though and we take a break.
Back with Almas chopping him down in the corner and throwing on a cross armbreaker over the ropes. A missile dropkick to the arm gets two but the kickout is switched into a Fujiwara armbar. The running knees in the corner stun Ohno but he blocks a slap and hits some bicycle kicks to get a breather.
Ohno misses a moonsault though and a Nightmare on Helm Street gives Almas two. The backflip kick to the head drops Kassius again and the double knees connect in the corner. A reverse tornado DDT of all things gives Almas two and it’s time to be shocked. Back to back rolling elbows end Almas at 13:51.
Rating: B-. These two are solid upper midcarders around here but I can’t really imagine either of them going any further than that. I’m curious about where the Almas story is going with all the losses as I hope they don’t turn him face but it’s going to be harder to be a serious heel with this bad of a record.
Last week Itami became #1 contender.
Here’s Roode for the big closing speech. He got knocked out (while wearing a $5000 suit) with a GTS and that’s never going to happen again. This Saturday he’ll be in his ring gear ready to go because that’s what he does every single night. Itami keeps getting hurt and coming back and getting hurt and coming back. Roode didn’t even know Itami was still employed here. Cue Itami but Regal and security hold him back. That only lasts so long though as Hideo charges in anyway and gets in a few shots. Security breaks it up but Itami gives one of them a GTS. Roode tries to charge in but gets put to sleep to end the show.
Overall Rating: B-. This was a bit of a step down from what I was expecting as it was almost all about the NXT and UK Title matches. The Tag Team Titles and Women’s Title barely got any focus though they did manage to get in the Strong vs. Young match. I wasn’t wild on this show but it was perfectly acceptable, which is better than you’re getting on the main shows as of late.
Results
Drew McIntyre b. Sean Maluta – Running kick to the face
Sonya Deville b. Lacey Evans – Standing Shining Wizard
Kassius Ohno b. Andrade Cien Almas – Rolling elbow
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – May 16, 2017: Why Can’t I Remember This Show?
Smackdown Date: May 16, 2017
Location: SNHU Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
We’re back stateside with the go home show for Sunday’s Backlash. We have a few matches announced as it’s Baron Corbin vs. Randy Orton and a “first time ever” match between Jinder Mahal and AJ Styles. I put it in the quotes because while it’s the first time the match has ever happened, I really don’t know if that’s worthy of mention it never happening before. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
We open with Kevin Owens’ Highlight Reel with Kevin emphasizing that the original host will NEVER, EVER be seen here again. After a clip of the Chris Jericho beatdown, Owens introduces his guest in French, only to have AJ Styles (not the guest) interrupt on his own. He never did well in French class but on Sunday, he’s taking the US Title and bringing it back to the USA. Styles is ready to fight not but here are Jinder Mahal and the Singh Brothers to interrupt. Mahal is supposed to be the guest and doesn’t seem pleased. The three all talk trash but Owens runs from AJ.
AJ Styles vs. Jinder Mahal
Owens is on commentary. Feeling out process to start without much of note to start. Jinder sends him to the apron though and AJ scores with a slingshot forearm to a kneeling Mahal. Some kicks to the chest have Mahal rocked and AJ follows up with a shortened Phenomenal Rush. A hard knee drops AJ though and we take a break.
Back with Jinder working on a chinlock for a good while. AJ fights up and crotches him on the top before dropkicking Jinder out of the air. Another forearm has Jinder in trouble but he kicks AJ in the face for two. Owens keeps cheering for Mahal but shouldn’t he want the match to go on as long as possible so AJ can be hurt even more?
The fireman’s carry into the flip neckbreaker gives AJ two but the Singh Brothers offer a distraction, allowing Owens to hit AJ in the knee with the belt. Somehow the referee doesn’t wonder why AJ has down and hurt his knee. The cobra clutch slam (the Kalas, Punjab for finish) gives Mahal the pin at 15:45.
Rating: C. Better than I was expecting here with the only logical ending and there’s nothing wrong with that. Mahal needed this win and it advances Styles vs. Owens at the same time. That’s one of the best things they can do at the moment as it accomplishes everything at once. Mahal is still passable in the ring but that’s about all you can give him, which isn’t enough for the spot they want him in.
It’s Fashion Files time with more pictures and Post-It notes stuck to the walls. Breeze comes in with a blond wig and taped on mustache, whom Fandango praises for his expertise as a master of disguise. Tyler has found a number of fashion felonies, including EVERY BARON CORBIN shirt being a wolf design. The Usos are scary but their hair is like a mop. Breeze takes off the mustache, asking what in Versace’s name is he wearing. They load up a high five but Breeze says freeze frame, leaving them both hanging in the air.
Randy Orton is ready for Mahal.
Breezango vs. Colons
Joined in progress with Breeze fighting out of some trouble and getting two on Epico. The cousins keep him in trouble though and Primo grabs an armbar. Breeze avoids a charge though and the hot tag brings in Fandango to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Falcon Arrow gives Fandango the pin at 3:18.
Rating: D+. Just another match here but it’s nice to have Breezango on a roll heading into the pay per view. I doubt they win the belts but I could go for a title change. The Usos are barely doing anything with the belts (not to say Breezango would) but it would be nice to switch things up for a little bit.
Post match the Usos come out to say they’ll win on Sunday because this is the Uso penitentiary. They’ll remain vicious and give you stitches and that’s not paranoia.
Here’s Shane McMahon for a contract signing for Sunday’s six woman tag. Natalya uses her uncle’s catchphrase and signs while Tamina and Carmella sign without saying anything. Becky laughs off the idea of being offered a spot on the team and can’t wait to slap all three of them. Naomi tries to dub the team Royal Glow Fire and threatens to snatch them bald. Charlotte promises a win but after that she’s coming for the crown.
Ellsworth cuts Shane off and says he can take care of himself. Shane has no idea what he’s talking about but it’s clear that Becky is staring at Ellsworth. Neither Charlotte nor Becky has a shot him though and Carmella is coming for his title. A fight nearly breaks out so Shane makes Carmella vs. Naomi for right now.
Carmella vs. Naomi
Non-title. Joined in progress with Naomi hitting a Thesz press and a running forearm in the corner. Naomi misses a knee drop though and gets sent face first into the mat. The threat of the Rear View sends Carmella outside and Ellsworth gets ejected. We take a break and come back with Carmella running away from some kicks and screaming a lot.
Naomi shuts her up with a dropkick, only to have Carmella kick her in the face and send her outside. The champ fights up again and hits a jawbreaker but Tamina and Natalya break up a cover, meaning it’s a double ejection. Charlotte and Natalya get in a fight with them first though and Naomi goes over to kick Tamina in the back. The distraction lets Carmella grab a rollup for the pin at 11:21.
Rating: D+. I’m still trying to get past Naomi’s attempts to get “I’m gonna snatch you bald!” over as a threat/catchphrase. She can’t threaten to beat them up or hurt them but rather take their hair? Is she a reincarnation of Brutus Beefcake? Anyway not a great match or anything but it did well enough to st up the match on Sunday.
Dolph Ziggler has been watching all the Shinsuke Nakamura footage he can find in WWE but there’s nothing to see. Instead, here’s a Ziggler highlight package. Ziggler can’t wait to beat Nakamura.
Sami Zayn has been granted a match with Baron Corbin for Backlash (That wasn’t official yet?) because he thinks Corbin feels threatened by him. Corbin jumps him from behind and says stay down.
Randy Orton vs. Baron Corbin
Non-title. They shove each other around to start with Corbin popping Orton in the jaw to take over for the first time. One heck of a clothesline gives Baron two and we take a break. Back with Orton missing a middle rope knee drop and getting caught in a chinlock. Corbin hammers him down again and some posing gets quite the negative reaction from the fans.
Baron says the people’s reaction is why he’s hurting Orton but he misses a charge into the corner. JBL keeps calling both of them great closers as Orton hits the hanging DDT. The RKO is broken up and Deep Six gives Baron a close two. Back up and the RKO gives Orton the pin at 13:20.
Rating: C. Corbin took WAY too clean of a loss here when he’s supposed to be a big deal going forward. I’d bet on him getting a title shot in the near future but why should I care about him if he just lost clean here? I’m fine with Orton winning a match but the booking here is a bit questionable.
Post match Mahal comes out for a distraction so the Singh Brothers can come in for the attack. Mahal holds up the title to end the show.
Rusev never appeared despite being advertised.
Opinion: C-. This was a rather flat show heading into what feels like a flat pay per view. I’m interested in Styles vs. Owens and that’s really about it on the entire card. What am I supposed to care about other than that match? Breezango? The six woman tag? Jinder Mahal? They’re fine for a big Smackdown but it doesn’t quite work that well on a pay per view. The show was good enough but nothing I’ll remember in a day or two.
Results
Jinder Mahal b. AJ Styles – Kalas
Breezango b. Colons – Falcon Arrow to Primo
Carmella b. Naomi – Rollup
Randy Orton b. Baron Corbin – RKO
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Monday Night Raw – May 15, 2017: For Once, This Show Didn’t Take A……Dive
Monday Night Raw Date: May 15, 2017
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves
This could be an interesting show as the roster is freshly back from Europe, meaning there could be some severe jet lag issues. The other major issue at the moment is Braun Strowman, whose recent surgery will put him out until November instead of early July as originally thought. Tonight we might find out who is going to take his place. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of Roman Reigns beating down Braun Strowman and putting him on the shelf for a long time.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Kurt Angle to open the show. He talks about Strowman’s injury and says we need a new name at the top of the card to challenge Brock Lesnar for the Universal Title. Therefore, we’re going to have an extreme five way at Extreme Rules for the #1 contendership with Seth Rollins, Finn Balor, Bray Wyatt, Samoa Joe and Roman Reigns facing off for the shot.
This brings out Reigns to say he’s the Big Dog, Balor to say he never lost the Universal Title and that he beat Reigns, Joe to say he’s shown his worth through his actions, Wyatt to say everyone will fall, cower and run and Rollins to say he wants to fight. Joe obliges him and it’s a huge brawl with Balor hitting a big flip dive and leaving everyone laying. This was EXACTLY what they needed to do as they’ve set up the match with a clear goal and dealt with the next few months without missing a beat. That’s as good as it could have been done.
Post break Rollins, Reigns and Balor are all fired up so Angle makes some matches for later tonight: Rollins vs. Wyatt and Reigns vs. Balor.
Jeff Hardy vs. Sheamus
Sheamus is in a shirt for some reason and gets stomped down in the corner. Jeff’s dive over the top is easily caught though and Sheamus sends him into the barricade as we go to a break. Back with Sheamus hitting a hard knee to the jaw for two but Jeff dropkicks him out of the air and gets two off a Twisting Stunner. Sheamus kicks Matt off the apron but walks into the Twist of Fate, followed by the Swanton for the pin at 8:36.
Rating: D+. And I still don’t care. Really, we’ve seen these guys have singles matches multiple times now and I have little reason to believe Sheamus and Cesaro are going to win the titles. Then again that means they likely will get them, which would make them the first team to pin the Hardys in the better part of three years.
Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox
Banks beat her last week but Fox had her shoulder up at two. Fox kicks her in the face for two to start and hits that great looking northern lights suplex for two. Sasha can’t get the Bank Statement and seems to hurt her leg on the way down. Back in and Fox hits the ax kick for the completely clean pin at 3:02.
Rating: D. I’m sorry what now? I mean, I’m a bigger Fox fan than most people but I really don’t get this one. Unless they’re going with Banks losing a match she should win and turning heel in frustration, I really don’t get this. Fox isn’t on Banks’ level and this really isn’t the most logical thing in the world.
Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz
Ambrose is defending and we get some Big Match Intros. Miz bails to the floor though and we take a break. Back with Miz hitting his running clothesline in the corner, followed by the YES Kicks. Dean comes back with a suicide dive, followed by a bulldog for two back inside. Miz misses a running charge in the corner, followed by the top rope standing elbow to give Dean two more.
The rebound lariat is countered into the Skull Crushing Finale for the very close near fall, giving us a shocked look from Miz. Dean sends him outside again so Miz hides behind Maryse, only to have Dean dive anyway. Maryse offers a distraction but the low blow is blocked, allowing Dean to kick Miz low for the DQ at 12:02. Dean looks stunned at the DQ for some reason.
Rating: C+. That’s as obvious of a setup for a No DQ rematch as I’ve ever seen and that’s fine. Miz vs. Ambrose is a good feud and Miz winning his seventh title is a good idea. I liked the match more than I was expecting to and they actually had me for a second on that Skull Crushing Finale.
Balor says Roman’s yard is in his universe.
Here’s Alexa Bliss for a chat. Bliss rips on Newark a bit before talking about what it’s like to be a winner. When you’re smarter than everyone else and more dominant than everyone else, winning just comes easily. If you’re a failure, say what. Crowd: “WHAT!” Bliss: “My point exactly.” If she had entered Miss USA last night, she would have walked off with the crown. Bliss: “So Miss USA: you’re welcome.”
Cue Bayley to interrupt though she knows Bliss doesn’t care what she says. Bayley is invoking her rematch clause at Extreme Rules but Bliss needs to make it clear that it won’t be extreme pogo sticking. Bliss talks down as only she can and suggests Bayley leave the championships to the adults. A dropkick puts Bliss on the floor but she snaps Bayley’s throat on the ropes and comes up with a kendo stick. One heck of a shot to the back sends Bayley outside and Bliss poses with the title. Heck of a segment from Bliss here, who is still on fire.
Angle is on the phone with Sami Zayn when Miz comes in to complain about what Ambrose did. Kurt gives him a rematch at Extreme Rules but Miz wants a match where the title can change hands on a countout or a DQ. Maryse yells at Angle in French so Angle uses some high school French to say he’s a gold freaking medalist. Cue the Drifter to scare Miz and Maryse off. Angle: “Can I help you?” The Drifter leaves.
Neville/TJP vs. Jack Gallagher/Austin Aries
I would have expected this to headline 205 Live. TJP charges into a boot to the face to start and the heels are sent outside for a flip dive. Back with Neville in control on Aries and sending him outside. Aries fights out of a chinlock (fans: “CM PUNK!”) and claps his hands around TJP’s ears, allowing the tag off to Gallagher. Jack mixes it up a bit his week with some suplexes for two and everything breaks down. Aries’ bad knee gets taken out but he’s still able to hit a top rope ax handle. It sounds like the fans are chanting for Derek Jeter as TJP hits the Detonation Kick for the pin on Gallagher at 9:42.
Rating: C. If the fans were really chanting for Punk and Jeter, good grief get over yourselves. The northeast is supposed to be this hot bed for indy wrestling and you have WWE giving you a freaking cruiserweight division but LET’S CHANT FOR OTHER SPORTS! That’s going to make WWE love the cruiserweights so much and the little guys are going to be SO over with the office. Well done you bunch of pompous twits.
Bayley is banged up when Angle comes in to say the rematch will be a regular match. That’s not what Bayley wants though so Angle makes it a kendo stick on a pole match.
Golden Truth fires each other up.
Finn Balor vs. Roman Reigns
Before the match we see the full opening video of Reigns and Strowman again. Reigns starts fast by throwing Balor around the ring, only to get kicked in the face twice in a row. Roman misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post, followed by a HARD running kick to the face. A double stomp to the back knocks Reigns even sillier as this has been almost one sided so far.
Back with Reigns hitting the apron dropkick to send Balor ribs first into the post. Reigns fires off the clotheslines in the corner and gets two off a sitout powerbomb. The bad shoulder gives out off another powerbomb attempt though and Balor hits a good looking double stomp. The Sling Blade drops Reigns but a Superman Punch is good for two. Balor kicks him down again, only to have the Coup de Grace broken up. The spear gives Reigns the clean pin at 14:36.
Rating: B. This felt like a main event match and there’s nothing wrong with Reigns getting the clean pin. Balor pinned him when it mattered a lot more and he’s a made man for a long time as a result. Also none of this really matters when we’re coming up on the pay per view anyway. Good match though.
The lights go out and the announcers are surprised when it’s Bray Wyatt on screen. Wyatt wants to slay Lesnar. Oh and he’ll beat Rollins too.
Seth Rollins says he slayed the King so he can slay the Beast.
Golden Truth comes out for a match but Goldust turns on Truth and beats him down. Goldust: “That’s what’s up.”
Enzo Amore vs. Apollo Crews
Enzo talks about being from New Jersey but Titus O’Neil comes out and does his own version of the signature entrance, complete with a bit of the dance. Cass says hang on a second because the plans have changed.
Big Cass vs. Titus O’Neil
Titus is in a suit and beats Cass down but stops to take the belt off. Enzo offers a distraction though and a big boot ends Titus at 1:15.
Enzo takes a selfie with Crews, who enziguris him post match. That only kind of felt like a heel turn.
Bray Wyatt vs. Seth Rollins
Rollins starts fast and sends Bray outside for a…..dive. Bray Rock Bottoms him onto the barricade though and we take a break. Back with Wyatt still in control and grabbing a superplex. Another Rock Bottom is broken up though and….let’s have a graphic for the pay per view match IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS MATCH.
Anyway Seth tosses him to the floor for a…..dive before Bray hits one of the hardest clotheslines I’ve ever seen. Another Rock Bottom gives Bray two but Seth gets in his low superkick for the same. Bray gets tossed outside (third time) for a top rope….oh you get the idea by now but Samoa Joe comes in for the most obvious DQ in recent memory at 14:13.
Rating: C-. As repetitive as the match was, it really took a……dive as they kept doing the same stuff over and over again. It also doesn’t help that I had the DQ written up before the match started but to be fair, that’s the logical ending and the right place to have Joe on the show. Good enough match but nothing great.
Bray and Joe beat on Rollins until Wyatt hits Joe with Sister Abigail to end the show.
Overall Rating: B-. This show’s one job was to set up Extreme Rules and they did that in spades with three title matches and the five way being announced. After that, everything else was basically a bonus, including a title match, a team splitting up and a pair of heel turns. That’s quite the show and we had some good wrestling involved as well. No it wasn’t a great show but it did its job and was entertaining. What else can you really want from a show?
Results
Jeff Hardy b. Sheamus – Swanton Bomb
Alicia Fox b. Sasha Banks – Ax kick
Miz b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Ambrose kicked him low
Neville/TJP b. Jack Gallagher/Austin Aries – Detonation Kick to Gallagher
Roman Reigns b. Finn Balor – Spear
Big Cass b. Titus O’Neil – Big boot
Seth Rollins b. Bray Wyatt via DQ when Samoa Joe interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Ring of Honor TV – May 10, 2017: This Is Getting Really Old
Ring of Honor Date: May 10, 2017 Location: William J. Myers Pavilion, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Colt Cabana, Ian Riccaboni
It’s the go home show for War of the Worlds but I have no idea what that means in Ring of Honor terms. Odds are we’ll hear about the show here (maybe even more than the handful of matches we already know) and then move on to some one off shows for the next few weeks. Let’s get to it.
Tag Team Titles: Young Bucks vs. The Squad
The Bucks are defending and that would be Mike Mondo and Ken Doane. The Squad runs in and attacks from behind before stopping for a cheer. Colt isn’t sure if they have spirit but they eat stereo superkicks for their efforts. A top rope double stomp/reverse DDT have Mikey in big trouble and we hit that TOO SWEET.
Stereo dives make things even worse but Ken actually takes over on Matt. Back from a break with Mikey dancing and grabbing a chinlock as this isn’t the most serious match in the world. Matt finally rolls out of a piledriver for a dropkick on Ken, only to have Matt get cut off again. We hit the awkward dancing from both former (Current?) cheerleaders but a toss into a gutbuster is broken up.
The hot tag brings in Nick a few seconds later as things speed way up. The slingshot X Factor into the moonsault from the apron has the Squad reeling. Mikey comes back with a snapmare driver (basically a falling Diamond Cutter) and it’s back to Doane….who eats a superkick. A Boss Man Slam cuts Nick off but quadruple superkicks and a flip dive set up the Meltzer Driver for the pin on Mikey at 9:14.
Rating: B-. Far better match than I was expecting here with the Squad more than looking like legit challengers. The Bucks were full on faces here despite being heels (I know, I know, something about Japan) and I kind of like the idea of them finally picking something. You knew the titles weren’t changing hands here but at least it was fun.
Matt Taven is ready to win the World Title because unlike Christopher Daniels being in the twilight of his career, he’s in his prime. This is for a house show defense.
The Briscoe Brothers are ready for the Rebellion. Jay wants a piece of Shane Taylor and I want a piece of whoever designed the Six Man Tag Team Titles because they look like they’re upside down.
Punishment Martinez vs. Beer City Bruiser
This could be ugly and Silas Young joins commentary to make things even worse. Bruiser knocks Martinez into the corner to start and gets two off a crossbody of all things. Martinez actually heads outside, leaving Bruiser to hit a running cannonball off the apron. Back from a break with Bruiser getting kicked off the top, only to have Martinez COMPLETELY miss the running dive over the corner. Even the announcers rip on him for missing that badly.
Bruiser belly to back suplexes him onto the apron as Colt wants to know how much Bruiser weighs in chili dogs. Martinez shrugs it off and hits a springboard spinning flip dive for two. Back to back cannonballs crush Martinez but he pops up for the slow motion slugout. A sitout Boss Man Slam gives Bruiser two more but he misses yet another cannonball. Martinez’s sitout chokeslam is good for the pin at 6:45.
Rating: D+. I’m really not a fan of Bruiser but he was doing way more than usual here. Martinez should be squashing people though and getting beaten up for a long stretch of this match by someone like Bruiser isn’t the right way to get him moving up the card. Not terrible here but a badly laid out match.
Marty Scurll says Matt Sydal won’t win the TV Title.
Adam Cole says the Bullet Club is united and they’ll prove it tonight in the main event.
Adam Cole/Cody vs. Christopher Daniels/Dalton Castle
Jay Lethal is on commentary and thankfully Colt keeps ripping on Castle and the Boys due to past issues. As another nice point, they go to a break and come back with the opening bell. That’s always nice to see. Cody and Castle get things going and let’s look at the commentary team.
Feeling out process to start until Cody gets clotheslined to the floor. Dalton does his slow walk across the ring and Daniels throws in some fanning. The champ comes in to face Cody with Daniels getting in the springboard moonsault for two. It’s off to Cole, who is wrestling in a shirt for some reason. Daniels gets away for the hot tag to Castle who gets in a double clothesline before being dropped with a low blow. Cole throws Dalton’s face into a boot (clearly didn’t make contact thanks to a bad angle) and it’s off to a double underhook hold.
The Beautiful Disaster hits Cole by mistake and Adam walks off instead of tagging. We take a break and come back with Castle grabbing a belly to back, allowing the hot tag to Daniels. An Iconoclasm gets two on Cody but Daniels has to bail out of the BME. Angel’s Wings is loaded up but here’s Cole with a superkick and the Last Shot. Cross Rhodes gives Cody the pin on Daniels at 10:34. Jay: “I don’t get what’s going on.”
Rating: C-. Not bad here with the match mainly serving as a way to help build up for the triple threat match. The tease of the Club breaking up was fine but it doesn’t work that well when it’s all fixed in five minutes. I don’t think there’s any secret about the fact that Cole is leaving the company soon enough so the split is likely going down soon enough. Watchable match but pretty much paint by numbers.
The Bucks come out to celebrate but the Club actually leaves instead of destroying Daniels. Lethal comes to the ring to yell at Daniels about adding Cody to make the match a triple threat. Cody comes back in and sends Lethal into Daniels, only to have Jay hit a double Lethal Injection.
We get a quick pay per view rundown to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. Here’s the problem and it’s the same thing that always happens for ROH: they’re coming up on a pay per view that had nine matches on the card. TWO of them were mentioned here, one of which was in a thirty second promo. I didn’t even know most of the card until the quick package running it down at the end of the show. As usual, the solution is to just bring in all the New Japan guys, push one match, and be done with it. We’ll likely get to the fallout by June when it’s time to set up the next pay per view. Such is life around here, which gets really tiring.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Armageddon 2002: Nine H’s and a Not So Secret Video
Armageddon 2002 Date: December 15, 2002
Location: National Car Rental Center, Sunrise, Florida
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
In case you didn’t get this from the Raw’s leading up to this show, this is ALL about HHH vs. Shawn Michaels. It’s so much about them that we’re seeing them fight three times so HHH can win the title for the second time in just over three months. Oh and we might see Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie’s, ahem, home movie. Let’s get to it.
The opening video has Freddie Blassie quoting the Bible about Armageddon, followed by The End Is Here playing over shots of bombs and missiles. And various wrestlers of course. That’s not disturbing whatsoever.
Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm vs. Goldust/Booker T. vs. Chris Jericho/Christian
Jericho and Christian are defending, Booker/Goldust are having issues believing they should keep teaming, the Dudleys are REALLY fired up to be here, Regal and Storm are on a roll and this is under elimination rules. Got all that? Storm forearms Bubba down and actually gets the better of a quick slugout, only to have Bubba shout DIE CANADIAN SCUM and hit a corner splash.
Goldust comes in to uppercut Regal but the champs take over in the corner. That goes nowhere either so Bubba comes in for some stereo Flip Flop and Flying into the Bionic elbows in a somewhat odd visual. Everything breaks down and Christian eats 3D but Regal tags himself in. A small package (and an ugly one at that) gets rid of the Dudleys (with JR not being clear on what happened), followed by a Goldust rollup to get rid of Storm and Regal to put us down to two. Or what it should have been in the first place without the extra five minutes being a waste of time.
The Hart Attack with the side kick instead of a clothesline drops Jericho with Christian making the save. Goldust misses a crossbody and falls to the floor, where Jericho sends him into the steps. We settle into the regular tag formula with Christian putting on an abdominal stretch, followed by a double stomping in the corner. JR explains the concept of cutting the ring off, which isn’t something you hear explained that often. Perhaps because it’s rarely done outside of a Revival match anymore.
Goldust finally catches christian in a sidewalk slam and it’s off to Booker with a very nice pop. The Walls are countered into a small package for two but the second attempt works better with Booker in a lot of trouble. Goldust comes in with a bulldog for the save, followed by crotching Christian on the top. A missile dropkick gives Booker two but Jericho gets in a belt shot. The Lionsault is good for two but Booker grabs the Book End for the pin and the titles.
Rating: B-. So the first two eliminations really didn’t need to happen and those teams could have been added to the show in their own match. Goldust and Booker FINALLY winning the titles is the right call and they went about as far as they could before getting the belts. I would have had Goldust get the win to prove he’s not the weak link but just getting the win is all they needed to do.
Booker tells Goldust that he’s not a weak link.
Brock Lesnar asks Josh Matthews who he is and says he’ll make an impact in the Big Show vs. Kurt Angle match.
Edge vs. A-Train
Edge has a bad knee coming in and is here to defend Rey Mysterio’s honor. A-Train shoves him into the corner to start before catching a crossbody with ease. Thankfully Edge tries to speed things up, only to get shoved into the barricade for his efforts. A charge only hits post though as the fast start continues. Back in and A-Train gets two off a powerslam before it’s off to the chinlock less than four minutes in. Edge makes his comeback as this is feeling more and more like a TV match every second.
The half nelson faceplant gives Edge two and the announcers keep calling A-Train Albert. A super spinning Edge-o-Matic gets two (with Edge pulling the trunks WAY too far up in the front) but A-Train bicycle kicks him out of the air for two. It’s chair time but Edge gets in a baseball slide to knock it away. The chokebomb gives A-Train two and the spear gives Edge the same, only to have A-Train chair Edge in the knee for the pitiful DQ.
Rating: D-. I really need more from this on a pay per view as this felt like the match to set up the pay per view rematch. A-Train just hitting him in the knee for the ending doesn’t work and certainly doesn’t help him. Unless Edge is taking time off thanks to a big post match attack, I really don’t get this one.
There’s a post match attack, but it’s Edge unloading on A-Train with the chair as his knee looks fine. What in the world was the point of this?
Big Show wants to go yell at Stephanie but Heyman talks him out of it, making Stephanie sound like a mob boss who would have Show sleeping with the fishes if he dared cross her. Heyman promises to take care of things.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit
The announcers basically call this a #1 contenders match though that’s not official. Eddie takes him to the mat and works on the leg as we hear about their very long history together. It’s off to a headlock on Benoit, who manages to tie their legs together to keep Eddie in check. A suplex sets up a chinlock on Guerrero but he reverses into a shortarm scissors as they’re keeping it on the mat so far.
Benoit powers out in that Bob Backlund display that looks less impressive every time a smaller guy does it. Eddie keeps it on the mat with a headscissors and the fans think it’s boring. I’m sorry they’re not big, bald and hairy but try to let something fresh into your wrestling minds people. Eddie sends him outside for a good looking dive before working on Benoit’s knee back inside.
A variety of leglocks have Benoit screaming in pain but he finally pops up for the rolling German suplexes. Benoit gets all the way to seven before Eddie reverses into four German suplexes of his own. The frog splash is good for two and Eddie gives a great stunned look. They both fall out to the floor with Eddie getting back in first, allowing Chavo to run out with a belt shot to the back of Benoit’s head. That’s only good for two as well, more or less guaranteeing that Benoit is winning here.
A modified Lasso From El Paso sends Benoit straight to the ropes, allowing him to pop up with a heck of a powerbomb. More Chavo interference fails and Benoit hits the Swan Dive, which Eddie mostly no sells for another Lasso. Benoit will have none of that though and reverses into the Crossface. Eddie goes for the ropes so Benoit switches arms and rolls into the middle of the ring to make Guerrero tap.
Rating: A-. Were you expecting this to be anything other than great? You have two guys this talented and this familiar with each other with over sixteen minutes on pay per view so of course it’s the likely match of the night. I know they can do this stuff in tag matches but it’s refreshing to have them just do a great singles match. Benoit was the pretty clear winner here but Eddie was more than up to the task here. That switching of arms at the end made Benoit look even better though and he more than deserves a title shot at this point.
Paul Heyman comes in to Stephanie’s office and talks about how much he’d love to sign Benoit. Stephanie doesn’t want to hear it because Lesnar’s suspension is already lifted. They talk about the integrity of the title with Stephanie saying we’ll have to wait and see what Lesnar does tonight. This has been a commercial for the show you’ve already paid for.
Long recap of Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson. Dawn decided to marry Torrie’s dad, presumably to get to Torrie. It turned out that she just wanted to sleep with Torrie so she offered to call off the marriage for one night for her. Of course it was filmed and Dawn is threatening to show the tape tonight because Torrie enjoyed it. That would be the worst thing ever for some reason you see.
Here are Dawn and Al, who has no issue with any of this for some reason. Or maybe he’s miserable. You never can tell with him. Anyway Dawn recaps things again and says Torrie isn’t here tonight before showing the footage. After seeing everything we saw on Smackdown (twice now) before we get to the new stuff. Dawn gives her champagne and eats a strawberry before unzipping Torrie’s leather jacket revealing…..pretty much the same kind of outfit Torrie would wrestle in.
Dawn takes off Torrie’s skirt to leave Torrie in her lingerie before taking off her own robe. She whispers that men can’t give Torrie what she can. They kiss and Torrie seems to be getting into it but Dawn says freeze the footage. She tells Al that we’re going to keep going so we see more kissing before Al stops it for good. Dawn promises they can make their own tape to make up for it and we’re done. This ate up about ten minutes and was every bit the waste of time you would expect it to be.
Kane vs. Batista
Batista has Ric Flair in his corner but gets dropped by an early neckbreaker. An elbow gives Kane two but Batista hot shots him onto the ropes. Kane fights back but gets sent outside where he beats up Flair for fun. Back in and Kane boots the rookie down but the top rope clothesline misses. The Batista Bomb doesn’t work though and Kane hits him low for a rather heelish move. The spinebuster gives Batista two but he walks into a chokeslam. Flair comes in for a distraction though, allowing the Batista Bomb to put Kane away.
Rating: D-. This wasn’t just a bad match but it felt like it belonged on a TV show instead of a pay per view. Batista looked lost for the most part with the fans giving up on the match after he couldn’t pick Kane up for the powerbomb. On top of that it was basically a handicap match with Flair involved, which makes for a really bad use of time.
Here are John Cena and B Squared (yes Squared again instead of Two) to rap about how awesome they are and how it doesn’t matter who they tick off. Marcia Brady is mentioned as well. This took less than two minutes.
We recap the women’s triple threat match. Victoria took the title from Trish Stratus at Survivor Series and then Jacqueline beat Victoria in a non-title match on Raw because SHE’S FROM TEXAS AND ALL TOUGH AND STUFF LIKE THAT. Now we’re having a triple threat for the title.
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline vs. Victoria
Victoria is defending. It’s a brawl to start with Jackie being sent outside as Jerry wonders if Victoria is horizontally accessible. A superplex drops Trish with Jackie stealing two as you can hear JR getting annoyed at Lawler’s jokes. The challengers make a wish on Victoria’s legs and send her outside, leaving Trish to hit a neckbreaker on Jackie. The Chick Kick drops Jackie again but Trish takes WAY too long covering, followed by a slow count, which really screams blown save. Victoria grabs the title and hits Trish, setting up the pin on Jackie to retain.
Rating: D+. They were trying here but Jackie didn’t need to be involved and the timing really hurt things here. Trish vs. Victoria is one of the better feuds they’ve had in a long time but they’ve pretty much reached the peak of the feud. We’re pretty much just waiting for Lita to come back at this point and that makes things a bit hard to sit through.
Victoria steals Trish’s hat.
Angle keeps trying to convince Lesnar to be in his corner, including promising him retribution if Brock joins him. We see the end of the Survivor Series title match but Lesnar still won’t say anything.
We recap Big Show vs. Kurt Angle. There isn’t much to talk about though as Show won the title four weeks ago and Angle won a four way to earn the title shot. Lesnar was suspended for a few weeks in a side angle that added absolutely nothing to this, aside from giving us more Stephanie TV time.
Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show
Angle is challenging and there’s no Brock to start, meaning he’ll be the official run-in. Show easily tosses him down to start so Angle tries a front facelock. That just earns him a toss over the top and right onto Heyman, but the distraction allows Angle to dump Show out to the floor. Back in and Show continues his dominance with a clothesline and suplex as Angle can’t get anything going so far.
The match is so one sided that Cole gets to list off all of Big Show’s measurements that you’ve probably memorized over the years. The Final Cut gets two as the fans chant USA with Tazz pointing out that Big Show is an American too. We hit the bearhug that you knew was coming until Angle bites his way out. Angle chokes him down and gets most of a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Tazz: “Big Show is the same size as Kurt Angle right now!”. That line still drives me crazy and it’s even worse when they’re both down.
Angle dropkicks the leg out and a good looking missile dropkick gives Kurt two. The moonsault press only has Angle’s feet hit Show in the head and the Angle Slam is good for two. The ankle lock goes on in the middle of the ring and the kickoff sends Angle into the referee. You can see a lot of the crowd looking towards the entrance as the Brock chants start up. Heyman throws in a chair which goes upside Show’s head for two with the kickout wiping the referee out again. Cue A-Train to break up the ankle lock but here’s Brock to F5 Show to give Angle the pin and the title.
Rating: D+. This was watchable because they had Big Show laying around for about a third of the match but it could have been FAR worse. At least they did the smart thing by giving the title to one of the hot acts who can have a great match with just about anyone, thereby opening the doors to a ton of fresh opponents, including Lesnar down the line. It’s not good but this could have been a disaster, so we’ll call this a success.
Rob Van Dam is at the World and picks Shawn to win.
Long recap of HHH vs. Shawn Michaels. They hate each other, they beat each other up, now it’s three matches for the price of one because we need that much HHH in our lives. This is 2/3 falls with the first fall being a street fight, the second being a cage match and the third being a ladder match.
Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels
Michaels is defending and HHH’s right quad, as in the leg that he didn’t tear, is taped up. Shawn has that weird sleeves made of mirrors thing that he wore at the 1997 Royal Rumble. To be fair he’s the only one who could pull that off. Before the bell, the referee ejects Flair because THIS IS THE KIND OF IMPORTANT MATCH THAT NEEDS TO BE FAIR!
Shawn hammers away to start and skins the cat before baseball sliding HHH into the barricade. A plancha misses though (with HHH not really moving so I’m not sure what Shawn was aiming at, save for maybe a trashcan that HHH had pulled out) and HHH is limping less than two minutes in. Shawn’s second dive hits the trashcan (at least it was from the ropes instead of over them so it was a different spot) but HHH can’t follow up.
Instead Shawn grabs a table but has a trashcan kicked into his face. HHH’s limping is getting worse and since this is getting AT LEAST half an hour, we could be in for a very long night. HHH sets up a second table next to the one Shawn loaded up but gets suplexed back inside for two. The jumping knee with the bad leg knocks HHH down as well and I get more and more worried about how bad this could get.
It’s time to start in on Shawn’s back but Shawn gets in a side slam to drive HHH through the chair in a smart counter. They head outside again with Shawn working on the back despite THE BIG BANDAGE ON HHH’S LEG. Even Lawler is pointing out the lapse in thinking so you know it’s bad. HHH blocks the superkick and twists the knee around, meaning they’re both working on the others injured body part. A chop block sets up the standing Flair working on the leg package, capped off by the Figure Four.
Shawn turns it over after nearly two minutes in the hold so HHH goes with a trashcan lid to the head for two instead. They head up the aisle with HHH sending him into the set before finding the barbed wire 2×4. HHH isn’t done though as he lights it on fire first. Shawn takes it away though and hits HHH with it, drawing some blood. It had better given that it’s a flaming 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire.
Back to the ring with HHH on his feet despite being hit in the head with something that should have killed him. HHH plays Raven with a drop toehold to send Shawn into an open chair but the Pedigree is countered with a low blow. Not that it matters as HHH hits the bad knee and gets the Pedigree for the first fall.
The cage is lowered and it’s pinfall or escape (I’m assuming Fink forgot to say submission but JR doesn’t say it either). Before the cage is all the way down, HHH throws in some more weapons, including a table and chair. One heck of a chair shot knocks Shawn sillier and the table is set up in the corner. Shawn gets catapulted into the cage and both guys are busted. The pace gets even slower and Shawn hammers away with right hands. They fight up to the top of the cage and here’s Flair back at ringside because why not.
Ric sets up two more tables on top of the original two as they slug it out on the top without much going on. There’s no big crash though as they go back inside with HHH getting crotched on the ropes. The top rope elbow seems to suggest that Shawn’s knee is much better in a hurry….and Flair is in the cage because the referee is incompetent. Shawn cuts him off and chairs both guys in the head, naturally making Flair bleed as well.
With Shawn beating up Flair, HHH walks away from the open door (some cerebral assassin) and it’s back to back superkicks to drop the villains. The stupidity continues as Shawn doesn’t cover or run out of the cage but rather sets up another table (that would be five I believe). A splash off the top of the cage drives HHH through the wood and ties things up. So now it’s a ladder match with both guys basically dead.
A very bloody Flair is helped out as the cage is raised and Shawn gets a ladder. Various ladder shots (which Lawler says is like being hit by a car) have HHH in even more trouble and Shawn suplexes him onto the ladder for good measure. The ladder is set up in the corner but Shawn misses the huge splash, landing right on his face.
HHH gets in a weird Pedigree as he has to stretch the bad leg out so it doesn’t slam into the mat. The fans are busy looking at something in the crowd as HHH makes the slow climb. That’s broken up but Shawn’s slow climb is countered with a shove through the tables, allowing HHH to climb up and regain the title.
Rating: C-. This is a really, really hard one to grade but let’s get the big problem out of the way first: there was no reason to have this be more than one fall. Either do a street fight (which was boring but watchable) or one of the other two but the whole three falls thing was ridiculous with the ladder match not even breaking eight minutes. The cage match was basically a continuation of the street fight with just one attempt at escaping, plus Flair just walking into the cage, making it a complete waste of time. HHH looked horrible out there but Heaven forbid we don’t cater to him, bad leg or not.
There’s a good match in there somewhere, but it only works with HHH on two good legs. On top of that, this needed to be cut in half. It’s just under forty minutes total and easily could have been about twenty with every bit as much effect. Shawn looked passable but old, which isn’t exactly the best combination in the world. The match could have been better but with what they were going for here, it’s a pretty hard disappointment. In other words, cut out HHH’s ego and it’s probably far better.
Overall Rating: C-. This was a pretty solid surprise with a few good matches (and one great one) but there’s also a lot of really bad stuff dragging that right back down. The Dawn and Torrie stuff really started bringing the show down as it’s not only stupid but fairly worthless to anyone with the internet at that point. You can see almost anything you want so two women in lingerie isn’t quite enough.
The problem is the rest of the show takes a big dip after that with the best match probably being Angle vs. Big Show, mainly due to it not being forty five minutes counting intros. The first half of the show is better but it hits a hard wall and there’s really no recovering from that point on. I was expecting a disaster though so this was a good bit better than I thought I’d get.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – December 12, 2002: It’s Like NXT But Not
Smackdown Date: December 12, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
It’s the final stop before the final pay per view of the year and there are two major stories at the moment. First up we have Kurt Angle becoming the new #1 contender to Big Show’s Smackdown World Title, meaning the hopes of most of the fans are on his Olympic shoulders. Other than that we have the sports entertainment shock value of Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson. Let’s get to it.
The opening video recaps the Torrie/Dawn stuff from last week with Torrie agreeing to spend a night with Dawn to keep Dawn from marrying her dad. They’re really not hiding the soap opera nonsense are they?
Opening sequence.
Rikishi vs. B2
Now it’s B Two instead of B Squared. Sounds like a vitamin. Either way he poses at Rikishi and gets punched in the face but it’s way too early for the Stinkface. Bull’s chinlock doesn’t go anywhere but Cena offers a distraction and gets kicked in the face. The second distraction works a bit better though as Bull hits him low, allowing Cena to chain Rikishi in the head for the cheap pin.
Torrie Wilson arrives and Jan the Makeup Lady says she’s been hearing rumors about what happened in the hotel room last week. I thought it was pretty obvious given how things started but maybe we need to spell it out: they did a Jungle Book jigsaw puzzle and watched the Facts of Life.
Earlier today, Kurt Angle interrupted a Brock Lesnar autograph signing and offered to get the suspension lifted in exchange for Lesnar being in his corner on Sunday. If Brock helps him, he’ll get the first title shot. Lesnar says if the suspension is lifted, he’ll think about it.
Big Show is with Albert, who is now named A-Train (certainly an improvement), and Paul Heyman. New interviewer Josh Matthews (shoot me now) comes in to ask about the Lesnar/Angle situation and the champ is livid. For reasons that I don’t even want to be able to fathom, these two segments were edited off the WWE Network version. The only way to know about them is Cole’s recap in the next match.
Show and Heyman yell at Stephanie, who throws them out.
Bill DeMott vs. Shannon Moore
DeMott is now an official bully, meaning he and Ryback should go out for soup and grape juice. Moore tries to hammer away but gets thrown around and smashed with a clothesline. A powerslam sets up a heck of a moonsault to give Bill the pin.
Now Stephanie will hear from Heyman and Show, the former of whom doesn’t want to hear about Scott Steiner. As for Lesnar, he makes Smackdown money so the suspension is lifted. Then why did she suspend him in the first place? To prove that he’ll get a week off if he breaks the rules? This was Stephanie showing off her power side with the hands on the hips and lethal sneer. To be fair the look works for her.
Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Billy Kidman/Chris Benoit
Eddie and Chavo are defending and it’s Benoit vs. Eddie to start in a preview of their match on Sunday. An early Crossface attempt doesn’t work but a backdrop has Eddie in trouble. It’s a double tag to bring in Kidman, only to have Eddie cheap shot him a few times to take over. The slow stomping begins and a spinebuster gives Chavo two.
Even Eddie can’t powerbomb Kidman but it’s still not enough for the hot tag. Kidman starts wildly swinging to slow Eddie down and a powerbomb is enough for the hot tag to Benoit. Eddie gets caught in the Crossface and we take an abrupt break (just like on Raw). We come back with Kidman holding Chavo in a chinlock as we see Eddie tapping during the break, albeit behind the referee’s back.
The champs take over with Eddie legbarring Kidman very close to the corner. He really should know better than that and I don’t have much sympathy for him when Benoit comes in and kicks Eddie in the head. Eddie blocks the tag though and grabs a keylock. Some good old fashioned cheating sees Chavo switch places for a keylock of his own. Chavo decks Benoit off the apron but Kidman gets in an ankle scissors.
The referee doesn’t see a tag but Benoit comes in with the rolling German suplexes anyway. Chris Swan Dives onto Eddie for two (with Cole asking why there’s a count) as everything breaks down. Benoit Crossfaces Chavo for the tap but the referee is looking at Kidman, who misses the Shooting Star. Eddie grabs a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes to retain. So he watches Benoit cover but not when he has the Crossface? Biased jerk.
Rating: B. It’s almost like the tag team formula works very well when you let it have the time to go somewhere. These four work very well together and, as usual, Kidman proves that the cruiserweights can easily hang with the heavyweights, thereby proving that the weight divisions are stupid in wrestling. Great match, as you would expect.
Torrie goes to yell at Dawn and says what happened in the hotel room was personal and just between them. Dawn can’t believe what she’s hearing and takes off her robe to reveal lingerie. Torrie doesn’t seem to mind it at first before yelling at Dawn to cut it out. There hasn’t been one lie though and Torrie doesn’t deny it. She does however demand that the wedding be called off tonight. Torrie leaves and Dawn smiles.
Raw Retro: HHH interrupts Stephanie and Test’s wedding. Again, edited off the Network but it could be because the Motorhead theme is edited over My Time.
Here’s Dawn, after the fastest change into a dress in recorded history, for a chat. She asks Al to come out here and confirms that everything he’s heard about her and Torrie is true. Al doesn’t seem to care so Dawn talks about looking into Torrie’s eyes and seeing Al in them. If that’s not creepy enough, every time she kissed Torrie’s lips, it was like she was kissing him.
Dawn knows Al will never find a woman like her and he wants to marry her anyway. Torrie comes out for some of the most violent slapping you’ll ever see so Dawn promises to show the full tape on Sunday to prove how much Torrie enjoyed it. This is pure trash but Al’s “acting” is so bad that it’s hard not to laugh. He just stands there with no reactions, even to the fact that his fiance slept with his daughter and they kiss alike.
Tazz immediately starts basically promising various adult material on Sunday as we look at replays. This really is the second biggest Smackdown story (and not that far from first). On a show with the Smackdown Six mind you.
Jamie Noble vs. Crash
Tazz thinks Jamie’s cousin Nunzio is 6’11 and 320lbs and works for the mob. Jamie elbows Crash in the face to start and they slug it out with Crash getting the better of it. A faceplant gives Crash two and it’s Crash Landing time, only to have Nunzio (ECW’s Little Guido, who Tazz suddenly doesn’t recognize despite the ECW chants) come in for the DQ.
The double beatdown ensues but Nidia doesn’t look pleased.
Scott Steiner arrives.
Stephanie comes to the ring to sign Steiner as Tazz and Cole look at WWE Magazine, naturally featuring their boss. Steiner takes the pen but won’t sign because last week, after the cameras stopped rolling in the limo, nothing happened. See, Stephanie didn’t put out for him because she’s wholesome, unlike that Torrie Wilson. Now why would you think Stephanie was on her level in the second story based on sex in exchange for a deal on this show?
Anyway, Stephanie suggests that she’ll do it if he signs so Scott puts her on the table and wants to go right now. Stephanie goes on a rant about her moral standards but Scott doesn’t want to hear it. If he can’t trust her in his personal life, he can’t trust her in his business life. Therefore, he’s signing with Raw. Eric Bischoff comes out to gloat and Stephanie throws a fit.
We get an update on Rey Mysterio’s knee injury, which is worse than they thought. There’s no word on his return time.
Edge has a knee injury of his own but he’s ready to focus on his tag match tonight. Angle comes in and agrees to have Edge’s back in the tag.
PPV rundown. Tazz says Eddie vs. Benoit has five stars written all over it.
Edge/Kurt Angle vs. Big Show/A-Train
Good thing the production team had a new song with a train whistle ready in case someone changed their name. Edge and Big Show start things off as Cole goes over Angle and Edge’s history together. A chop staggers the Canadian so it’s off to Angle, who gets A-Train. One heck of a shoulder drops Kurt and it’s back to Edge, who unloads on A-Train in the corner.
A-Train throws Edge hard into the corner and it’s time for Heyman to start the trash talk. For reasons of general large headedness, A-Train takes his sweet time getting around to Edge’s bad knee before handing it off to Big Show for some knee work of his own. The slow beating begins with Show laying on the leg.
After more lifeless offense from the giants, Edge gets in a tornado DDT to stun A-Train and the hot tag brings in Angle. A German suplex actually sends A-Train flying as everything breaks down. Edge spears A-Train down instead of Big Show but the big bald pops up and chairs Edge in the back. The Angle Slam drops both monsters but a Heyman distraction lets Show chokeslam Kurt for the pin.
Rating: D+. They did what they could here but with Edge on a bad wheel and Big Show/A-Train as the heel team, you’re only going to get so far. The match wasn’t bad but this better lead to Angle winning the title on Sunday as it’s clear Show can only do the bare basics at this point. A-Train was trying but calling him limited would be an understatement.
Overall Rating: C-. You know what this felt like? An early 2017 episode of NXT. You know there’s talent there and the people behind the scenes know what they’re doing but there’s only so much you can do when you’re this limited. We’ve done the Smackdown Six matches so many times and since Lesnar is suspended, you have to come up with something fresh.
That means you’re pretty much stuck with short matches to build up new talent without exposing how bad they really are. This show wasn’t the worst but it’s clear that they’re trying something new, which isn’t the easiest thing in the world. They need more time and better talent but things could be rough for the time being.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here: