NXT
Date: April 6, 2016
Location: Kay Bailey Hutchison Convention Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips

This is the first of a series of special shows from Wrestlemania weekend with most of the matches taped from Axxess weekend. It should be interesting to see how things go with a very different style audience. Also it’s not clear whether or not we’ll get much advancement in the major angles as everything needs to reset after Takeover: Dallas. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Takeover as you might guess.

Phillips and Graves welcome us, clearly from Takeover.

New correspondent Catherine Kelly tells us what we can expect, including Apollo Crews vs. Elias Samson, which was a dark match at Takeover.

We see a video on American Alpha winning the Tag Team Titles, followed by Jordan (nearly in tears) and Gable talking about what it means to win the titles on the biggest weekend of the year.

Video on Asuka winning the Women’s Title from Bayley.

Bayley says congratulations to Asuka and admits that Asuka is just on another level. A champion is made by how many times they get back up and get better so she’ll rise to the occasion again.

We recap Elias Samson getting pinned by Johnny Gargano a few weeks back. Post match Samson beat him down until Apollo Crews made the save.

Recap video of Aries vs. Corbin.

Aries calls himself the most polarizing man in wrestling and that’s just fine. He’s not out there to prove anything to the people though because he’s out there to prove something to himself. Talent and passion can’t be measured with a ruler and a scale but he proved everything he needed to prove to Baron Corbin and isn’t going anywhere soon.

We see Finn Balor retaining the NXT Title over Samoa Joe.

Balor says he escaped and survived Joe again.

Joe has nothing to say.

We see Samson singing a song to Crews but backing away from a fight.

No Way Jose is coming.

Elias Samson vs. Apollo Crews

Samson comes out with his guitar and has something to say but we have a lot of booing to get through first. The fans say that they want wrestling but thankfully Crews cuts it off to get things going. Crews throws him into the corner to start so Samson hides behind the guitar. A headlock doesn’t get Elias anywhere and it’s an armbar to put him on the mat. The armbar even goes to the floor so they head back inside for yet another armbar.

Back from a break with Samson getting in a shot to the back of the head and putting on a chinlock. Another chinlock doesn’t go anywhere and it’s Crews getting up and hammering away to a surprisingly strong reaction. Samson bails to the floor and gets taken down with an apron moonsault, only to have the standing version hit knees back inside. Elias gets in a jumping knee to the head but asks for silence, allowing Apollo to kick him in the face. The toss powerbomb puts Samson away at 14:46.

Rating: D. This really wasn’t very good and that’s probably it for Samson for a little while. Crews moving to Raw is still a surprise but at least he went out on a win unlike Corbin. Unfortunately it wasn’t a good match as most of it was spent on armbars and chinlocks. Samson is much more of a character than a wrestler but I’m not sure how far he can get on that alone.

Video on Zayn vs. Nakamura.

Sami can’t put all of his emotions into words.

Nakamura says strong style has arrived.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a tricky one as the show should have been white hot coming off Wrestlemania weekend and the awesome Takeover but instead it’s a recap and dark match. Maybe you can argue that this is a breather from all the action and a fear of burnout but I was looking forward to something entertaining here and wound up seeing a bunch of stuff all over again. It’s not often that I get to say this but I was disappointed here.

Results

Apollo Crews b. Elias Samson – Toss powerbomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 5, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s a night of revenge tonight in what might be (and hopefully is) the last match in the Jeff Hardy vs. Eric Young feud. In this case they’re inside a cage in a match that doesn’t mean much, especially since the King of the Mountain Title isn’t on the line. To be fair the thing is hardly ever defended so this isn’t a big surprise. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with Drew Galloway successfully defending the title against Jeff, setting up Matt Hardy challenging for the title tonight, along with Jeff vs. Eric.

Jeff Hardy vs. Eric Young

Non-title and inside six sides of steel. Before the match, Young gets his standard promo time and promises to piledrive Hardy to death. Young has Bram with him so Hardy brings out a table. They start brawling on the floor without a bell and Bram helps Eric send him into the cage wall. A piledriver on the exposed concrete doesn’t work as TNA’s insurance policy doesn’t cover death.

Young tells Bram to get a table as the handicap beating continues. They FINALLY get inside for the opening bell with a table and a bunch of chairs thrown inside for fun. A jawbreaker staggers Young and the whole double beatdown is forgotten. We take a break less than a minute after the bell and come back with Young sending Hardy head first into the cage. Eric wedges a chair into the corner but of course Hardy reverses him into it instead.

They tease putting each other through the table until Jeff gets kicked to the mat. The legdrop between the legs has Young down for two but Jeff takes too much time loading up some chairs in the middle of the ring, allowing Eric to piledrive him through them for two. You know, because of course a piledriver onto open chairs only gets two. Young sets up a table instead, only to have Jeff hit a quick Twist of Fate. That’s not enough either of course as he puts Eric on the table for a heavily edited Swanton off the top of the cage for the pin at 13:19.

Rating: C+. The match was fun but nothing we haven’t seen before. On top of that it’s also a waste of the King of the Mountain Title, which Hardy never mentioned or showed any suggestion of wanting whatsoever. I know the belt already means nothing but it’s not like Jeff has to pretty much acknowledge it throughout the feud. Good match though.

Dixie Carter talks to Maria and Gail over how they can’t just make a #1 contender. The result is a three way for the title tonight because what else were they going to do. Dixie doesn’t want to hear Maria’s ideas either.

Jeff is icing his head and wants the Creatures to stay with him.

Here are Matt Hardy (with the Brand) and Drew Galloway for their final speeches before the title match. Granted they’re also the first speeches but you have to stretch sometimes in TNA. Drew says Matt is going to talk all night long so it’s time for him to shut up. Matt thinks that Drew has his property because he has an entourage like a champion and is the epitome of success in this business.

Tonight he’s going to take the title that belongs to him. Drew talks about how Matt has lost his passion and is now only in it for the money. Matt doesn’t like Drew bringing up his win over Jeff but promises to get the title back. That’s it but Tyrus says he’s coming for the winner. Are we really waiting for Tyrus vs. Galloway or Hardy now? Apparently it’s set up like a Money in the Bank as he implies he might cash it in tonight.

Pope talks about being ready for a fight tonight because it might be the last thing he knows how to do. It’s a lot easier to jump on than it is to jump off daddy.

Post break Ethan Carter III comes up to laugh at Tyrus’ threat. Tyrus: “I hate you.” Ethan: “I hate you more.”

Lashley vs. D’Angelo Dinero

This is a street fight after Pope saved Josh Matthews from a beatdown a few weeks ago. Pope has been active at least down in OVW so he’s certainly not coming out of mothballs. Lashley jumps him from behind to start and the beating is quickly on with Pope in early trouble. The opening bell is late again and it’s all Lashley early.

As you might expect, the announcers ignore the match to talk about Tyrus cashing in, which apparently has to be announced in advance. That’s a bit better at least. Lashley gets in a delayed vertical suplex and loads up a stomp onto the steps, only to get blasted with a trashcan. Some kendo stick shots to the back have Lashley down with Josh being far too happy over the beatdown. Not that it matters as Lashley comes right back with a spear for the pin at 6:48.

Rating: C-. This had a lot of potential on paper but the match really wasn’t much to see. I get the idea of having it be a street fight for the sake of giving Pope a fighting chance but this was just a step above a squash. Pope would be a good addition to the roster as he’s not that old and can cut an energetic promo. I mean, it’s not like they have anyone else to put out there.

Lashley spears him down two more times before Ethan Carter III comes out for a slow save. As Lashley leaves, Mike Bennett sneaks in and jumps Carter from behind.

Post break, Carter offers to fight Bennett right now. Instead he gets Maria who talks about the people. Carter: “OH PUT A SOCK IN IT TOOTS!” Bennett comes out and accuses EC3 as someone who is looking for an excuse, just like everyone else around here. Carter is willing to get rid of Bennett at any time but Mike yells at him for losing the title. It means Carter has nothing left but he’s still making excuse after excuse. Bennett goes on a great rant about how he’s going to be World Champion after beating Carter, leaving everyone to say YES WE DO.

Carter is ready right now but Mike says we’ll do it next week. That’s not enough for Ethan as he goes after Mike and runs Maria over in the process. They go into the parking lot with Bennett getting hit in the back with a chair until he steals a tire iron from a car to knock Carter away, allowing him to steal the car and escape. This was REALLY good stuff and one of the best buildups to a match that I’ve seen TNA do in a long time.

Rockstar Spud has a plan for Tyrus but he crumples it up. Man that’s just rude. Imagine the time and effort he put into that.

Knockouts Title: Jade vs. Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim

Gail is defending. Jade gets beaten back and forth to start but Gail is sent to the floor, leaving Rayne to get a rollup for two. The champ gets suplexed and it’s the challengers slugging it out until Gail pops back up for a neckbreaker to Madison and a DDT to Jade at the same time. Jade dives through the ropes to take Madison down as the announcers talk about Gail potentially injuring her leg. Well that and the Schitt’s Creek show with a horrible transition. As the challengers fight on the floor, Maria sneaks in with a belt shot to Gail, setting up an STO from Jade for the pin and the title at 3:41.

Rating: D-. The ending is the right choice (though you know Gail is going to get the title back in a few months at most because we must praise Gail Kim at every given chance) but the match was a mess with almost no time and all three looking in different libraries instead of on the same page. Nothing to see here but at least we have a fresh champion.

Galloway is ready to defend his title.

Shane Helms wants to hear Eddie Edwards’ answer but it should be obvious from here.

We look back at Al Snow beating up Grado last week.

Snow says Billy Corgan should understand his actions. Apparently Snow is upset that they’re letting anyone in, including people like Grado. Snow is suspended for a week without pay and is expected to publicly apologize.

Here are Helms and Trevor Lee for Edwards’ answer about joining up for a tag team. Eddie comes out and says everything takes time but Helms doesn’t like that word. He’s teamed with people a lot less talented than Eddie and found success so imagine what they could do together. Eddie doesn’t buy it though and thinks Shane just wants the automatic title shot he has coming. That belongs to Davey Richards though, meaning he wants no part of the Helms Dynasty when he’s already part of the Wolves Nation.

Violence is about to erupt when Beer Money comes out for the save. Insults are issued and Beer Money confirms that they are in fact, Beer Money. Storm says line up the teams because they’ll knock them down. Cue Decay with Rosemary saying when you wish on a dying star, you will decay, decay, decay. Abyss wants the titles so Storm says they’re ready to fight right now. The brawl is quickly on but security breaks it up even faster.

Matt talks about being ready to take his title back tonight. As he talks about how it’s time for him to take, Tyrus is slowly seen walking up the hallway behind him for a really cool visual.

Beer Money wants Decay next week.

TNA World Title: Drew Galloway vs. Matt Hardy

Drew is defending. Tyrus stands in the ring for the intros before taking off his gear and….going to the floor. Matt is smart enough to use the distraction to jump Drew from behind for an early advantage. A bulldog and legdrop have Drew in trouble and we take a break. Back with Matt hitting a Side Effect on the apron and going back inside, allowing Spud (called a ring rat by Josh) to get in a few cheap shots. A pair of neckbreakers gets two for Matt but Drew comes back with a good looking belly to belly.

Matt takes him up top for a quick gutwrench superplex but has to stop and take off his boot due to an ankle injury. Apparently it’s just a ruse though (how villainous) as Spud tries to come in for a cheap shot, only to get suplexed as well. Futureshock connects but Tyrus pulls the referee out at two. Cue Jeff to beat up Tyrus as Matt Twists Drew for another near fall. Drew is done with this though and grabs the Iron Maiden for the tap out at 12:10.

Rating: C-. Too many Hardys around of course but it’s good to have Matt and Jeff out of the way so we can get on to some more interesting challengers. You know, like Tyrus apparently. They really need to give him his title shot already so we don’t have to sit around waiting on him to cash in like he’s someone interesting.

Overall Rating: C+. I had a good time with this show as they seem to actually be setting up some stuff for the future. Unfortunately I don’t have much hope for this company to pull stuff off but at least they’re showing some potential here. At long as they stop focusing on the Hardys as the stars of the promotion, things could get better over the next few weeks.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Eric Young – Swanton Bomb through a table

Lashley b. D’Angelo Dinero – Spear

Jade b. Madison Rayne and Gail Kim – STO to Kim

Drew Galloway b. Matt Hardy – Iron Maiden

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: November 15, 2000
Location: Evening News Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray

We’re still in England and we’re still creeping towards Mayhem where the inevitable Scott Steiner title reign is coming. Things are right back down in the depths where they were a few weeks ago and now the nice run they were on is over. Hopefully the stories make sense tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Monday, which isn’t the best idea in the world.

Scott Steiner is angry on arrival and beats up a security guard.

Big Vito vs. Reno

We actually get a bit of the history leading up to this, which is basically I hit you and you hit me. They slug it out on the floor with Reno taking over, including a dropkick to the ribs for the first real advantage. Vito comes back with a clothesline and the good looking Mafia kick, followed by the equally good looking top rope elbow. There’s something about that move that makes it hard to screw up. Since this is starting to be entertaining, here are Jindrak and O’Haire with the former offering a distraction and the latter offering a superkick to Vito’s jaw. Roll of the Dice gives Reno the easy pin.

Rating: D+. Not enough time to go anywhere of course here and they didn’t need to have interference in a match like this. It also doesn’t help that Vito continues to lose no matter who he’s in there against. Reno doesn’t seem to be going anywhere but at least he got a win here, even if it’s over someone who should get better treatment.

Post match Reno challenges Vito for the Hardcore Title at Mayhem.

Here’s Ric Flair with something to say. He wants an answer on what Mike Sanders is going to do about the Cruiserweight Title (which was brought up on Monday) and also we’re getting a Hardcore Title match between Bam Bam Bigelow and champion Crowbar. As for Mayhem, it’s going to be the final match between General Rection and Lance Storm. Amen to that one.

Lance Storm puts the Canadian sticker back on the US Title and wants Booker T. for the World Title tonight.

Hardcore Title: Crowbar vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Crowbar is defending and stands in the ring while Bigelow pulls out the tables. Just get straight to it I guess. Crowbar goes outside and sends Bigelow through one such table leaning up against the apron, followed by some trashcan lids to the head back inside. Well to be fair, trashcans and tables go together.

Bigelow sends him into a table but it doesn’t break. See, British furniture is quality. A splash misses Crowbar and puts Bigelow through the table, allowing Crowbar to send him outside for a chair shot to the back. Crowbar dropkicks a chair into Bigelow’s face but he comes back with a BIG chair shot of his own, or at least a very loud one. Bigelow puts Crowbar under the table for what appears to be a headbutt, only to have Mike Awesome come out and shove him off, giving Crowbar the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. This was more entertaining than most of the hardcore matches and that chair shot had a lot to do with it. Crowbar continues to be the most entertaining guy in this division though unfortunately it means he’s still here being wasted instead of doing something interesting. Fun enough match here though and that’s all you can ask for in these things.

Booker is tired of being disrespected and would love to fight Storm tonight.

Bigelow jumps Awesome in the back.

The Misfits are devastated by the loss of Major Gunns and contemplate splitting up. Realizing that means unemployment, Rection says they should stick together and they’ll keep going for now.

Kwee Wee vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kidman vs. Corporal Cajun vs. Lieutenant Loco vs. Elix Skipper

Elimination rules for the #1 contendership. Loco suplexes Skipper down to start and it’s already time for the women to get into it because that’s what they’re for in WCW. Cue AWALL to yell at Gunns so the women are thrown out, which is probably best for everyone. Cajun and Loco start double teaming Skipper….until the referee does his job by disqualifying them for being in the ring at the same time.

We get a rare break in a match and come back with Kidman baseball sliding Kwee Wee in the corner so Mysterio can hit the Bronco Buster. Skipper comes back in with a dropkick, allowing Kwee Wee to faceplant Kidman for a quick elimination. Kwee Wee holds Mysterio so Skipper can add a top rope spinwheel kick to eliminate Rey, getting us down to one on one. Before Kwee Wee can get anywhere, here’s Jim Duggan to help Skipper, only to have Meng come out and nail Skipper to give Kwee Wee the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C. They could have cut this down to three or four people and it would have been a much better match but any time I get to see Meng and Kwee Wee together, my world is just a little bit brighter. Kwee Wee vs. Sanders doesn’t do much for me but the division is such a death trap right now that it doesn’t make much of a difference.

The Boogie Knights aren’t worried about facing Konnan and a mystery partner tonight.

Ric Flair has a mystery opponent for Sanders tonight.

This week’s interview is with Buff Bagwell, who is frustrated over his lack of a chance around here. He’s been around for a long time but for some reason he’s never been given the ball. For some reason he’s never been given the chance like Luger, Sting and Jarrett. Somehow he’s never had a singles title, which actually surprises me even to this day. You would think he might get a token US Title run in there somewhere. Buff wants Jarrett at Mayhem.

Mike Sanders is on the phone with Jeff (presumably Jarrett) and thinks Buff has no respect for the veterans. So he doesn’t respect himself?

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Lance Storm

Booker is defending of course and I still don’t understand why the champ is always on in the middle of the show. Before the match, Storm demands respect before he brings dignity back to the WCW World Title. They trade arm holds to start before Booker kicks him down for a standoff. Storm gets in a shot of his own and they head outside with Storm sending him into the barricade to take over.

Back in and Storm hits that great looking superkick, followed by a springboard missile dropkick for two. The Bookend is countered into a neckbreaker for two and that annoying horn in the crowd keeps honking. Booker comes back with the ax kick but gets thrown into the Mapleleaf on the bad knee. I know he’s not tapping but point here for actually setting up some drama here. Booker gets out to the floor for the break for a bit, only to have Storm counter a suplex into a DDT for two back inside. Storm follows Booker to the top and shoves him down, only to dive into the Bookend to retain the title.

Rating: B. I had a great time with this one and both guys looked awesome. It’s amazing what happens when you let two talented wrestlers have some time to work a good match. Storm continues to be one of the shining stars of WCW and I almost always enjoy whatever he’s doing out there. Good stuff.

Team Canada runs in after the match but Booker quickly dispatches them, including a Bookend to Gunns. Stevie loses his mind with laughter.

The Boogie Knights are in the back, talking about whether Konnan will find a partner. Disco has an idea but he’ll need money. Gee I wonder what that means.

Cruiserweight Title: Mike Sanders vs. ???

There’s no opponent yet but here’s Ric Flair to say he has good news and bad news. First of all, this is going to be a non-title match. The bad news is it’s a non-title match because the opponent is almost 100lbs over the cruiserweight limit.

Mike Sanders vs. Kevin Nash

Nash starts with a very slow motion right hand, which Tony describes as high gear. Sanders gets thrown across the ring again and a side slam gets two as we see security holding the Thrillers back. Nash kicks him in the head and takes the straps down but here are the Thrillers for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was an angle instead of a match and another example of how bad things are if you’re a cruiserweight in 2000 WCW. Nash was squashing Sanders for about three minutes before the Thrillers came in, showing how valuable the Cruiserweight Title really is. At least Sanders didn’t get…..yeah I can’t finish that. This was a horrible way to treat a champion and proof that they need to keep the bigger guys FAR away from the top cruiserweights unless they change a whole lot first. Also well done on making back to back champions look bad.

The Thrillers beat Nash down.

Post break Nash is having his knee looked at.

The Cat/Konnan vs. Boogie Knights

Cat is of course a surprise partner. Wright grabs a wristlock to start before it’s off to Konnan, who somehow is the workhorse of his team. Some cheating has Konnan in trouble and Disco gets in a few good stomps. I still feel sorry for him having such a goofy gimmick because he really good work well in the ring. Back up and Cat tags himself in for a variety of kicks, followed by that dancing elbow to Disco.

It’s off to Wright for a quick double clothesline, though to be fair Cat had been wrestling for a good 45 seconds straight. Konnan comes in and blocks the Chartbuster but the referee gets bumped. Cue Kronik to chokeslam Konnan because the referee seems to be dead, allowing Disco to get the cheap pin.

Rating: D. What else are you expecting in a match like this? The Knights are underrated workers but Miller is one of the worst in the company at the moment. Konnan continues to be fine while still looking horribly lazy most of the time. At least he gets a reaction though and that’s what matters most.

Plug for Goldberg’s book.

Lex Luger is annoyed at not being in Goldberg’s book, which he can’t put down. He was there when Goldberg’s career began and he’s going to be there when the career ends.

Goldberg vs. Buff Bagwell

Goldberg starts fast with a gorilla press drop but Buff grabs the double arm DDT. That means it’s time for posing but Goldberg is on his feet first. The spear and the Jackhammer make Goldberg 19-0 in a hurry.

Goldberg helps him up post match.

Booker leaves.

Lethal Lottery Finals: Scott Steiner vs. Sting

Winner gets a title shot the night after Mayhem. Steiner hammers on him to start but gets backdropped to the floor where Sting hits him with a ball bat. They go to the announcers’ table (Sting: “Hey Stevie.”) with Steiner going face first into the wood. Back in and Steiner counters the Stinger Splash with a belly to belly. There are the pushups and a slam for two, followed by another belly to belly. Steiner is ticked off at the near fall so he cranks on both arms at once instead. We get the choking in the Tree of Woe but more pushups allow Sting to make his comeback, including a quick Death Drop for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. So the solution to building up Sting is to have him get pinned clean in the middle of the ring. Sting winning is the only thing that makes sense here though because they built up this idea of getting a title shot the night after Mayhem. As usual they stop thinking with because they’d rather do a gimmick than set up something that makes long term sense.

Post match Steiner beats Sting down with the pipe and puts him in a straitjacket. A huge beatdown ends the show and puts Sting on the shelf until the final Nitro.

Overall Rating: D+. It much be a WCW law that the shows have to get weaker as they go. They would have been much better off closing with Booker vs. Storm for the World Title instead of setting up a #1 contender in the main event but they’re the “draws” I guess so therefore they must go on last. You would think the British shows would be better but somehow WCW manages to screw that up as well.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Lucha Underground
Date: April 6, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

It’s time to get the focus back on the Trios as we’re starting a tournament to crown new #1 contenders. This could be interesting as I’m not sure if I can even name two trios, let alone enough to fill in a full set of brackets. Odds are we’ll get more Dario goodness as well, which is more than enough to carry the show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the stories tonight, including Cortez Castro and Joey Ryan being undercover cops, Sexy Star being stalked and Matanza destroying Pentagon last week.

Vampiro looks at his anti-psychotic medication when Dario comes in and calls him Ian Hodgkison. Dario knows there’s a part of Vampiro that wants to bash his brains in and then go fight Matanza but Vampiro isn’t crazy enough to do that. He’s valuable to Dario as the voice of Lucha Underground so tonight Vampiro needs to be on commentary. Vampiro takes his pills.

Castro and Ryan report their findings to their boss, who wants them to take out Dario. Apparently they’re in the Trios tournament together, which seems to please the captain. I’m really interested in where this goes and it’s nice to finally get back to the story after several weeks away.

Ivelisse vs. Kobra Moon

Feeling out process to start with Moon working on the arm but getting taken down into an armbar. A headscissors has Ivelisse in trouble but it turns into a pinfall reversal sequence for two each. Moon does her slithering into a choke over the ropes for two, followed by something like a Tarantula/Anaconda Vice combo. A butterfly suplex into a double underhook choke keeps Ivelisse in trouble but she grabs a Russian legsweep to put both of them down. Ivelisse wins a slugout and kicks Kobra down with Striker admitting that this is an ugly match. Back up and Ivelisse grabs a running sunset flip bomb for the pin at 6:35.

Rating: D. Striker was right when he called this ugly. Kobra is just not working and it’s getting worse with each week. At the same time it’s nice to see Ivelisse getting some solo time instead of being on the wacky team. She’s still awesome in the ring and you can hear TNA cry a bit more every time she has a match.

Video on Killshot, who was a sniper in the military. He and his unit were captured for thirteen months but he escaped and made it back home. Of course this is accompanied by some well choreographed video showing Killshot in combat. Really cool stuff here of course.

Famous B. comes in to see Mascarita Sagrada and offers a business card.

Sexy Star is working out when the Mack comes in. Apparently he’s on a team with Marty the Moth and Mariposa and would like Star out there for moral support. She screams a lot and I guess that’s a no.

Trios Tournament First Round: Cortez Castro/Mr. Cisco/Joey Ryan vs. Mariposa/Marty Martinez/The Mack

The fans are WAY into Joey here. The announcers point out that the prize for the winners isn’t clear, though I’d assume it’s a title shot. Cisco and Mack start things off after Vampiro thinks Cortez and Castro are two different people. Mack gets two off a hard shoulder but gets dropped by a springboard armdrag. The fans actually start cheering Cisco after a hurricanrana but Mack flips up to his feet and we get a respectful fist bump.

Joey tags himself in and wants Mariposa, who he facepalms down like a jerk. That’s fine with Mariposa who destroys Ryan with armdrags and kicks to the back, sending Joey over for a tag to Castro. Marty is knocked down in the corner and kicked in the face, only to come back with a dropkick. The fans tell him that he still sucks though and it’s back to Mariposa to dropkick Cisco. Things settle down with a cravate on Cisco, only to have him grab a neckbreaker on Marty for the breather.

Castro comes back in with a tornado DDT, only to have Joey and Mack tag themselves in. Mack Samoan drops him and gets two off a standing moonsault as everything breaks down. Mariposa blocks Mack’s dive so he kicks her onto the pile and dives anyway. You don’t block the Mack. Back in and Marty tags himself in, causing a slap off with Mack. That earns Marty a Stunner, followed by a 3D into a Codebreaker to give Joey the pin on Marty at 8:35.

Rating: B. This was way better than I was expecting and Mack had a star making performance here. Castro and Cisco seem to be on the verge of a face turn but that might be due to having Joey Ryan on their team. I’m not wild on the Mariposa/Marty/Mack thing but it could turn around if Mack keeps performing like he did here.

Mariposa goes after Mack but Sexy Star comes in for the save and finally fights back against Mariposa after weeks of cowering away.

Dragon Azteca is on the roof when Rey Mysterio comes in. Apparently Dragon wants to kill Matanza but Rey points out what happened in Aztec Warfare. They’re in the trios tournament next week though and here’s Prince Puma as their partner. Puma actually speaks for the first time, agreeing that they fight next week.

Lucha Underground Title: Fenix vs. Matanza

Fenix is challenging. Matanza shrugs off a kick to start and shoves Fenix away with ease before choking in the corner. Fenix tries some more kicks which just seem to annoy Matanza, setting up a release German suplex to send Fenix into the buckle. Dario calls for blood but Fenix escapes the Wrath of the Gods. A big German suplex sends Fenix flying again as this is getting into massacre territory.

Matanza charges into a superkick and a springboard missile dropkick staggers him. Dario tells him to remember mom so Matanza catches a dive and plants him with a World’s Strongest Slam on the floor. Matanza just unloads on him with right hands, setting up the Wrath of the Gods to retain the title at 4:50.

Rating: D. It’s rare that a squash is the way to go but that’s what we’re getting here. This is approaching the Brock Lesnar style monster push with no one being able to touch Matanza until we get someone really special out there. I mean, I know Muertes is going to be lurking eventually but you can only run through so many people before it gets goofy. We’re not there yet, but I’m not sure who else they can throw at Matanza for now.

Matanza destroys him even more post match until Catrina shows up to say stop. Mil Muertes runs in and knocks Matanza out to the floor. You knew this was coming and there’s no way it’s going to be anything other than awesome.

Overall Rating: B-. That main event doesn’t really hold the show down as it was much more about setting something up than the match itself. Matanza vs. Muertes is going to be sweet and given that this is Lucha Underground, they’re going to give it the time to build things up. That’s one of the best things around here: they know how to set things up instead of just going through everything at once, like the Trios tournament and then the big showdown. It’s another good show and gives you more to look forward to in the future.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

There are a lot of these.In no particular order but each should have a caption.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 4, 2016
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

It’s pretty much New Year’s Day in WWE after everything came to a big conclusion last night. We’re officially in the Roman Reigns Era (part three) and hopefully that means a little break from the Authority. The other interesting thing will be seeing where the McMahons go from here because they’re the real stars of this show. Let’s get to it.

Again I was in the arena for this show so my perspective might be a bit different.

We open with a long recap of Wrestlemania, because what else are they going to start with?

Opening sequence.

The announcers tell us that the crowd is going to be “non-traditional” tonight. Translation: “Please don’t listen to the fans booing Reigns. He’s really AWESOME!” JBL says they’re just having fun. If fun means chanting for the Sheraton Hotel room that came in their travel packages, followed by a TRAVEL PACKAGE chant, I’d rather sign up for misery.

Here’s Vince to get things going and the fans actually sing his theme song. Vince: “Exactly the same chance my son had against the Undertaker!” He brings up Reigns winning the title and the fans are really not pleased. However, as of this morning the lock box is all taken care of, save for explaining what the heck that’s about. Last night was a great night but seeing his grandsons out there with Shane got to him a bit. It almost got to him when Shane climbed the Cell, which of course draws a Shane O’Mac chant.

Vince promises that tonight is a night we’ll never forget and goes to leave but Shane slowly limps out to cut him off. The fans thank Shane but he wants to shake Vince’s hand (“Since I’m the only man in the family.”) because Vince won at Wrestlemania. Shane thanks the fans and goes to leave but Vince cuts him off and blames the fans for what happened last night. Vince cuts him off again and says no one upstages him. He’s often thought how insane it would be to have Shane running Raw…..so let’s see how bad it can get.

Yes Shane is now in charge of Raw, completely negating A MONTH AND A HALF of storylines, along with erasing the point of last night’s Cell match. It’s almost like they booked themselves into a stupid corner with the story and had to find a way out of it while completely throwing logic out the window. This is the kind of nonsense that gets old in a hurry because I basically spent a month and a half trying to make sense of this stuff and then they say “oh never mind because we’re just doing what Vince was so scared of because.” Why? Just because. That drives me crazy but it happens far too often around here.

Here’s New Day for a talk before their title defense. Woods now has a smaller horn for reasons that aren’t likely to be explained. Maybe Vince just lost his mind and felt it should be smaller. The fans do the HEY! WE WANT SOME NEW DAY song before Big E. says things didn’t go according to plan last night.

Kofi did get to twerk with Shawn Michaels but Woods took a Stunner. Woods: “Upon further review of the tape, I have to admit….that it was pretty much my own fault.” However, they now have the last piece of Bootyo’s from last night, which will be playing the role of Simba as Woods hums Circle of Life from Lion King. It’s one of my all time favorites and the fans dug the heck out of that bit.

Tag Team Titles: King Barrett/Sheamus vs. New Day

The challengers come out after a break but first we get to see Lillian dancing with New Day, which she actually did twice. Kofi and Sheamus go into the corner to start as the announcers talk about the Shane story because the Tag Team Titles aren’t interesting enough. Everything breaks down and the League is sent outside, followed by Kofi being launched over the top (complete with fanfare from Woods) for a big crash.

Sheamus gets back up and knocks Kofi off the top for a crash but thankfully Woods is there to reassure him that the Bootyo is magical. Kofi fights back on Barrett but gets kicked hard in the ribs. We take a break and come back with the Wave going on in the background. Even Sheamus gets in on it, which actually causes Woods to get the mic and say if you like the Wave you like Sheamus.

This was the second time he said something like that after he had to get the fans to stop chanting Rocksteady during the break. To his credit, the crowd stopped cold both times so that seems to be the solution to the annoying chants. Kofi kicks Sheamus away and makes the hot tag as the fans are busy chanting about how awesome they are. Big E. starts in with the suplexes and the Warrior splash, followed by a whip to send Barrett into Sheamus. The Midnight Hour retains the titles at 8:45.

Rating: C. The match was fine but I’m sick of seeing these groups fight. There has to be someone else that New Day can fight, even if it’s some pairing of two big heels. The League just isn’t interesting no matter how many times they call themselves the lads or spin their fingers around their heads. New Day is way over but they’re getting into that Edge and Christian territory of having no one to feud with. At least they’re getting a nice long reign out of it though and with those shirts selling as strong as they do, the team isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Post match Sheamus says he’s had it with all this losing. Every time he looks at one of these losses, he sees one weak link and that’s going to change. That means a Brogue Kick to Barrett, which draws out the Wyatts to destroy the remainder of the League, complete with the fans singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. So there’s the face turn for the Wyatts, though let’s look at this League thing for a minute.

Did Sheamus forget that whole THEY WON AT WRESTLEMANIA part? Barrett knocked Woods silly to set up the win but now he’s kicked out after one loss? As has been proven already, it seems that New Day should have won at Wrestlemania to set this up, especially since they won here like the Wrestlemania match meant nothing. It’s bad storytelling and really should have been fixed before it became a stupid moment.

Vince goes to leave the arena but tells Renee Young that Shane is only in charge temporarily. He’s leaving early because this is going to be a disaster and he doesn’t want to watch the ship go down.

Summer Rae vs. Sasha Banks

Summer actually gets promo time and says if she was in charge of Bad and Blonde last night, they wouldn’t have wound up flat on their faces like Sasha did. Banks is back in the shorts tonight. She grabs the mic away from Summer and reminds us that she is in fact the Boss before slapping Summer in the face. Summer begs off like a heel should and suckers Sasha in to a neck snap across the middle rope. We’re in a chinlock thirty seconds in but Sasha is quickly up with a snapmare and running knees to the chest for two. The Bank Statement makes Summer tap at 1:40.

Shane McMahon is talking to Apollo Crews.

Apollo Crews vs. Tyler Breeze

This is Crews’ main roster debut after only a few months down in NXT. Then again when you have those natural gifts, it’s not expected that you’ll see him in developmental that long. Crews starts fast with a pop up powerslam for two, followed by a suplex from Breeze for the same. We’re already in the chinlock and it would be nice for Crews to at least look….something. He’s just kind of there and ignoring that someone has him in a chinlock. Crews pops up with the gorilla press and standing moonsault, followed by the lifting powerbomb for the pin at 1:52. Typical debut squash.

Clips of Charlotte and Roman Reigns on the Today Show.

Here’s Reigns to open the second hour with even louder booing than the previous night. During the entrance, JBL says Reigns is so happy to finally be on top of the mountain. That would be back on top of the mountain actually because this is his third reign which is supposed to mean more than the first two. The people boo him again but Reigns says he’s not a bad guy. He’s not a good guy either. No he’s just THE guy because he won the World Title in the biggest Wrestlemania of all time. If anyone wants to come get this title from him, he’s not going anywhere.

This brings out Chris Jericho, who brags about all his successes, which are far stronger than anything Reigns has ever done. Jericho stops though and calls out the fans for their stupid chants because they’re not going to hijack the show. Fans: “WE ARE IDIOTS!” Jericho rips on the internet favorite AJ Styles, which brings out Styles himself.

Before he can say anything though, here’s Kevin Owens. Again nothing is said though because Sami Zayn comes out, likely due to his leash to Owens getting a bit too tight. Owens and Zayn go right at it and fight to the floor with Zayn hitting a big flip dive. AJ is sent outside and Jericho eats a spear.

Of note: Zayn seemed to land awkwardly on that flip dive and BOLTED to the back with his arm dangling by his side. He ran off while the lights were down so most people couldn’t see him but it was definitely visible.

We look back at Vince agreeing to let Shane run Raw.

Back from a break and Shane makes a four way between Zayn, Owens, Jericho and Styles for the #1 contendership. Reigns thinks that’s just fine.

Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler

Before the match, Corbin says all you need to know about him is this trophy. Ziggler hammers away in the corner but gets elbowed in the face for his efforts. A forearm knocks Ziggler off the apron and we take a break. Back with Ziggler in a nerve hold and the fans cheering for a beach ball because some nitwit fan felt the need to pull one out and bat it around.

This would be during the Raw debut of an NXT talent that the same people probably begged to be promoted for months while chanting for NXT. I’d also be willing to bet that they’ll blame Vince for not pushing Corbin properly while Vince’s reaction is “they saw him in his first match and would rather play with a beach ball.” BUT THEY’RE JUST HAVING FUN! Anyway Corbin misses a charge and hits the post, setting up a neckbreaker for two. Deep Six gets the same for Corbin and they head outside into the crowd for the double countout at 8:32.

Rating: D+. This was an awkward one as Ziggler was kind of being squashed but is too big of a star for that treatment and tried to fight back but couldn’t make it work. Corbin looked good but I’m not sure why they didn’t just have him get the win here. It’s not like Ziggler can’t bounce back from a dozen losses or anything like that so just give Corbin the big win here. At least he didn’t lost though.

Post match Corbin gives him the End of Days on the floor.

We look back at Lesnar destroying Ambrose last night.

Here’s Zack Ryder with something to say. When Ryder was a kid he got to meet Razor Ramon and hold the Intercontinental Title. Well last night they took another picture with Ramon holding Ryder’s title, which makes for a really good pair of photos. Ryder thanks his dad (in the front row) but here’s Miz to interrupt. Last night Ryder stole what belongs to Miz and now it’s time to show that Ryder is just a flash in the pan. That means it should be time for a title shot right now. Ryder says Woo Woo Woo let’s do this.

Intercontinental Title: Zack Ryder vs. The Miz

Ryder is defending of course. Miz can’t get in an early Reality Check so Ryder dropkicks him for two. A baseball slide sends Miz into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Ryder getting knocked to the floor like the jobber that he is. Ryder fights back with some clotheslines but misses a dropkick, setting up the low DDT for two. The Rough Ryder misses but Ryder counters a suplex with a neckbreaker. I’ve always liked that counter.

The Elbow gets two on Miz but the Broski Boot misses. They head outside in front of Zack’s dad, so as you might expect, Miz is shoved down by Ryder Sr. To be fair, Zack’s dad is in better shape than half the roster. Fans: “MR. RYDER!” This brings out Maryse of all people (Miz’s wife) to slap Papa Ryder in the face, which is enough of a distraction for Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin and the title at 10:26.

Rating: D. Yeah this didn’t work. You can push Ryder as having a big moment all you want but at the end of the day, he’s still the same Zack Ryder who has been a jobbing goon for years now. It would be a stretch to have him beat Miz in the first place and an even bigger stretch to have him beat Miz to retain the title. As I’ve said already though, this was pretty clearly Neville’s spot and he would have fit better, but I’m not sure who else they could have put here, especially if Miz is just getting the title back so soon.

Also of note: Lillian started to get in the ring to announce a match before Miz came out at all. This led to what looked like quite an argument at ringside which went on for a bit between Lillian and a producer.

Owens says he lost the title because he was in the ring with six other guys so the loss was hardly fair. Last night Sami Zayn stole the title from him but now it’s on to bigger and better things, like winning the WWE World Title. Sami cost him the Intercontinental Title last night but he’s not costing him the World Title tonight. The road to KO Mania II begins tonight.

The Vaudevillains are coming on Smackdown.

All of the women including Lita come for the formal presentation of the Women’s Title. Lita talks about not having many role models to look up to as a kid. That’s not the case for the youngest generation today though because this division has never been stronger. Charlotte is introduced but the fans cut her off by wanting some Bayley. She says this title is about all the women in this ring who made this happen and because of all the fans…..who won’t stop singing about how they want Bayley. JBL: “These people are rude.”

Charlotte finally goes with the heel stuff by saying she won the title, but now the fans are on a WOMEN’S WRESTLING chant. The real credit goes to Ric Flair though because she got her here. The energy from the fans fueled her to her victory. It makes her laugh that she hasn’t even been here for a year while some of the less successful women have been here seven or eight years.

Sasha and Becky walk out and the rest of the women follow, save for Natalya. Somehow this turns into an argument over the Harts and the Flairs because that’s still a thing they’re pushing. Also ignore the fact that we just saw Charlotte vs. Natalya and haven’t gotten Sasha vs. Charlotte in a one on one feud yet. Natalya puts her in the Sharpshooter until Ric makes the save.

AJ Styles says it’s a new beginning and the start of a new era. That new era is going to be phenomenal.

Video on Primo and Epico, who really like Puerto Rico. This might actually be a downgrade from Los Matadores.

Usos vs. Dudley Boyz

Tables match. It’s a brawl to start of course and they head outside as JBL talks about his tables matches against Bubba and D-Von. Jimmy gets slammed to set up What’s Up but Bubba won’t do GET THE TABLES. The Usos pop up and dive onto the Dudleyz and we take a break. Back with Jey breaking up a superplex through the table as the fans are almost entirely behind the Dudleyz.

Jimmy dives over a table and onto Bubba with a splash. A double superkick breaks up a double powerbomb attempt, followed by the Usos running the barricade for a double dive. Back in and the Superfly splashes miss but drive the Usos through the tables. Apparently that’s enough to give the Dudley Boyz the win at 8:53, even though it’s long since been established that you have to drive them through a table using an offensive move. They’re not announced as the winners and JBL acknowledges that it was an early bell.

Rating: D. A lot of these matches really aren’t working for me and a lot of that is due to this match not needing to happen. I’d assume we’ll get a third match between them soon enough because the world is waiting on seeing who gets the advantage in a feud that isn’t interesting in the first place. The Usos need a new direction because they’re getting less and less interesting every time they come out.

Sami Zayn says he’s been in every kind of match around the world. He talks about wrestling around the world when Kevin Owens jumps him and gives him a powerbomb through a table.

Post break the Dudleyz are still at ringside yelling…..and here come Enzo and Cass to the pop of the night. Cole: “If you haven’t got a sample of them…..well some would say you’re in for a treat.” The fans start a loud HOW YOU DOIN chant before Enzo talks about being a smack talker skywalker with a lightsaber in his hand. The Dudleyz are still standing in the aisle and Enzo thinks they’re jealous because they’re ugly.

Bubba and D-Von look almost scared at how stupid this sounds but Enzo says he’ll use the gift of jab to knock that lazy eye back into place. Enzo: “Fall back like your hairline!” Cass invites the Dudleyz down for a fight but they back off like true heels. That’s enough for Cass to declare them SAWFT to wrap this up. Yeah the insults were kind of lame but this was all about the delivery and the reaction and these guys look like stars.

Zayn is officially out of the four way but a replacement will be named.

Ryder gets his rematch on Smackdown.

Dr. Phil will be the guest star next week. Why? No reason of course but he’s a celebrity and therefore interesting.

Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles vs. ???

The mystery entrant is……Cesaro, who was the most likely option and very well received by the fans. If nothing else we get a cool new entrance as Cesaro comes out in a tear away suit with trunks underneath. AJ and Jericho fight in one corner with the other two across the ring before it’s off to AJ vs. Cesaro to a very nice reaction. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker drops AJ for two and we take a break.

Back with Jericho suplexing Styles but Cesaro gets back in, only to have Owens break up the Swing. The big guys head outside again as Jericho loads up a superplex on AJ, only to have Owens and Cesaro come back in to make it a Tower of Doom. With everyone else down, Cesaro starts running the corners for European uppercuts, only to have Owens get a boot up. AJ enziguris Kevin but walks into Swiss Death. Jericho clotheslines Cesaro outside but gets jumped by his fellow Canadian.

The package side slam gets two on Jericho, who avoids a Cannonball. The Lionsault hits knees though, only to have AJ hit the springboard 450 for two of his own. Owens gets back again and tells AJ to stay down with his stupid haircut but Cesaro gets back in and sends both of them into the corner for rotating European uppercuts. Jericho takes over a third corner and now it’s time for triple rotating uppercuts.

Chris breaks it up but dives into the Swing as it’s all Cesaro at this point. Owens superkicks AJ to block a springboard and there’s the Pop Up Powerbomb for two on Styles. A Codebreaker gets the same on Owens with Cesaro making the save. Cesaro gets caught in the Walls but he reverses into the Sharpshooter to a big reaction. AJ makes the save with the forearm to Cesaro and Peles Owens to the floor, only to eat a Codebreaker for two. A quick backslide attempt has Jericho in trouble but AJ keeps rolling forward into the Clash for the pin and the title shot at 16:44.

Rating: B+. This match was a blast with four potential winners until Styles pulled off the big surprise pin. I’m not sure where Cesaro goes after this as you would assume Sami vs. Owens for Payback so maybe Cesaro gets Jericho. Styles vs. Reigns could be something interesting if they build it up properly but it could also be a borderline disaster with the fans booing Reigns out of the building.

AJ celebrated for a very long time after the show went off the air.

Overall Rating: B-. I had a good time here, despite some big holes in a lot of what was going on. The Raw after Wrestlemania isn’t about the in ring action but rather all the events that take place. Cesaro returning, Shane taking over Raw (and seems to be more off camera than the Authority, which is already a huge plus) and a bunch of debuts are a good sign and there should be some fun matches going into Payback, even though a lot of them aren’t hard to figure out. This may not have been a great, blow away show but it showed some promise going forward which is all it needed to do.

Results

New Day b. Sheamus/King Barrett – Midnight Hour to Barrett

Sasha Banks b. Summer Rae – Bank Statement

Apollo Crews b. Tyler Breeze – Lifting powerbomb

Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a double countout

Miz b. Zack Ryder – Skull Crushing Finale

Dudley Boyz b. Usos – The Usos went through tables

AJ Styles b. Chris Jericho, Cesaro and Kevin Owens – Styles Clash to Jericho

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXXII
Date: April 3, 2016
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 101,763
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
America the Beautiful: Fifth Harmony

We’ve finally arrived at what might be the biggest show of all time. The attendance record is going to be set tonight (it just is) and the card is……well did I mention that attendance? Yeah the build to this one hasn’t been all that great with a double main event of Roman Reigns challenging HHH for the WWE World Title and Undertaker vs. Shane McMahon inside the Cell with Undertaker’s future at Wrestlemania vs. Shane controlling Raw on the line in a story that stops making sense as soon as you start thinking about it too much. Let’s get to it.

Again I was in the stadium for this so it’s my second time seeing the show but first time seeing the produced version.

The stadium looks nothing short of amazing, despite being mostly empty for the pre-show due to a lot of issues with getting people inside.

Pre-Show: US Title: Kalisto vs. Ryback

Kalisto is defending in this basic big guy vs. little guy feud. We get a nice tale of the tape with Ryback having 4.5 shoe sizes and more than double the bench press. The GOLDBERG chants begin at the bell and Kalisto isn’t sure how to start. A headlock proves to be a really bad idea as Ryback launches him away and easily sends him outside for a crash.

Kalisto comes back in with something like a top rope bulldog for two, followed by a nice fake out on a dive to set up double knees off the apron. Ryback will have none of that and LAUNCHES Kalisto into the air for a big crash as we take a break. Back with Ryback getting two off something we don’t see and a hard back elbow to the jaw gets the same. A running sitout powerslam gets the third straight near fall but Ryback gets a bit too cocky on a very delayed superplex, allowing Kalisto to turn it into a cross body for two.

The champ’s hurricanrana driver gets the same and there’s the corkscrew cross body for good measure. A hard slam has Kalisto in trouble so he tries to head to the corner, only to be pulled back with the turnbuckle pad coming off. You can see the ending coming from here as Kalisto sends him head first into the exposed buckle, setting up the Salida Del Sol for the pin to retain at 8:53.

Rating: C+. Really good choice for the opener here as they did everything they needed to do to get the crowd (well what little crowd they had) going. It’s such a simple idea to have someone smaller beat a big strong guy and they didn’t try to over think things out there. The ending might have been a bit of a stretch but at least Ryback keeps a bit of face after the loss. He needs to win something eventually though and I’m really not wild on having the title match on the pre-show.

Pre-Show: Total Divas vs. Bad and Blonde

This would be Brie Bella/Alicia Fox/Paige/Eva Marie/Natalya vs. Lana/Naomi/Summer Rae/Tamina/Emma in a match with no story worth mentioning because these things never have stories of note. Summer elbows Alicia in the face to start before getting two off a DDT. A tag to Emma draws all ten of them in for a huge staredown as we take a break. Back with Eva coming in to some horrible booing to face Emma. A not bad headscissors puts Emma down but Eva slaps Natalya hard on th\e shoulder instead of tagging Paige.

It’s quickly off to Naomi for those stupid dancing kicks but Paige comes in to play Bret to Natalya’s Anvil in a Hart Attack. Naomi misses a cross body and crashes into the ropes but still tags Emma back in for a wheelbarrow suplex. We finally get the tag to Lana, who started this whole thing by insulting Brie Bella. Somehow we wound up with this instead of whatever they were going for there and that’s probably best for everyone. Lana wrestling with her hair down and wearing basically a one piece swimsuit isn’t bad for anyone either.

Paige gets kicked down and Lana mocks the YES chants before bringing Tamina in. A lot of spot calling results in a broken up Tower of Doom and Paige diving onto the pile for a big crash. There’s still no hot tag though as Emma keeps Paige in the corner and stomps away. Paige finally gets away from Naomi and makes the hot tag to Brie as everything breaks down.

We get the parade of finishers (including Eva’s Sliced Bread #2 being booed halfway out of Texas) until the BRIE MODE knee is blocked by Naomi’s raised boot. The split legged moonsault hits mat (called a knee by Byron), allowing Brie to grab the arm and roll forward into the YES Lock (that looked awesome) for the submission at 11:25.

Rating: D. What were you expecting here? It was a huge mess with a bunch of women who have no idea how to do anything besides spots and barely being able to do those. This probably would have been better as a four person tag or even better as a match between Brie and Lana so there could be an actual story. Lana was fine in the little bit she was in the ring, but you know she’s a long term project. This was little more than a way to get them on the card though and that’s fine all around.

Post match Nikki Bella comes out in ring gear and a neck brace for the big return celebration because we’re supposed to cheer for Nikki and be impressed because of her injury.

Here’s Lita to talk about the history of women’s wrestling and to unveil the new Women’s Title belt which will be awarded to the winner of tonight’s triple threat. Also of note: she calls them superstars instead of Divas, which hopefully is a permanent name change. This is called the first title ever, even though the Women’s Title existed less than eight years ago. Still though it gets rid of that butterfly thing so it’s a step up.

Pre-Show: Usos vs. Dudley Boyz

This is over the Dudleyz not wanting to use tables anymore and trying to protect their legacies as a great team who don’t need weapons. The Dudleyz jump the twins to start with D-Von cranking on Jimmy’s neck and taking his head off with a clothesline. Bubba comes in to shout about beating up the Usos’ dad Rikishi, which Lawler calls a history lesson.

There are the dancing punches but Jimmy superkicks him down, setting up the hot tag to Jimmy. The Dudleyz beat him down too and get in What’s Up, only to have a double superkick break up the table grab. The reverse 3D gets two but Jimmy breaks up the 3D with a superkick. Another good looking superkick is enough to put D-Von away at 5:18.

Rating: C-. This was fine but it didn’t have anywhere near enough time to mean anything. The Usos vs. the Dudleyz should be a very solid match but you can only get so far on five minutes. That being said, neither team has that much of an upside at this point and I really don’t need to see them fight again, especially after this only decent effort.

Post match the Dudleyz get the tables, only to get superkicked again to set up double Superfly Splashes through the tables. The fans are NOT happy with that one.

It’s finally time for the regular show with the crowd mostly filled in. That’s such an amazing visual as the people just keep going and going.

Pop band Fifth Harmony sings a very nice America the Beautiful.

The opening video shows the Madison Square Garden microphone dropping to signify the start of a legend. Over the years this led to a group of legends such as giants, warriors and the dead rising. That brings us to the question of who becomes the next legend. This switches into a standard video about people rising up tonight to become legends in the usually awesome Wrestlemania style. Apparently this was narrated by Kelsey Grammer.

The camera pans around the stadium and that is just a sea of humanity.

Intercontinental Title: Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Miz vs. Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara

Owens is defending and this is a ladder match. This started as Owens vs. Zayn but Ziggler and Miz got involved for no worthy reason. Then Owens insulted Stephanie McMahon and you just can’t do that so she added the other three because she felt like it, and that of course trumps anything involving logic or storytelling. Stardust has Dusty inspired polka dots on his gear to make this feel special.

Everyone but Owens bails to the floor to start so it’s time to pose, only to have Zayn come in with a ladder for the big showdown. Ziggler hits Sami in the back with another ladder to take over before slamming Cara onto the ladder for good measure. The ring is cleared out and it’s Miz climbing up but for some reason he doesn’t open it all the way, allowing Sami and Dolph to make the save.

Owens comes back in and backdrops Zayn onto the ladder before shouting at him to go back to NXT. Ryder and Ziggler go up but get shoved down into the ropes for the save. Everyone winds up on the floor (I’m barely skipping anything in between these spots but that’s the case in most multi-man ladder matches.) and Zayn dives through the ladder for the big crash. Sami is right up with the diving DDT over the bottom rope to take out Owens for a huge reaction.

Cara gets back in and tries to go up, only to have Sami shove the ladder over, only to have Cara land on the top rope and flip dive onto everyone else. Ziggler starts busting out superkicks, including tuning up the band for one on Ryder. Owens is too smart enough for that though and it’s a double superkick to put both guys down. Now Stardust pulls out a polka dot ladder for a DUSTY chant and the Terry Funk helicopter spot until Miz breaks it up and hits the Skull Crushing Finale onto said ladder.

Owens will have nothing to do with the goofy ladder but has to block the Helluva Kick. A frog splash onto Zayn onto a bridged ladder have both guys down. Owens is up first though and it’s a Pop Up Powerbomb to drop Miz. Ryder sends Kevin into the ladder and hits a big old elbow drop off the ladder onto Miz for a huge crash.

That’s not enough to get the belt though as Ziggler runs up the ladder for a faceplant off the top to put himself and Ryder down. It’s even worse than that though as Ziggler comes up limping, allowing Owens to powerbomb him off the ladder. Stardust and Owens come back in and it’s Stardust being knocked onto a ladder bridged between the apron and the ring.

After kicking Zayn away, Cara dives through Stardust and through the ladder for a spot we’ve seen way too many times but still works due to the carnage. Owens and Zayn go up top for the slugout on the ladder before falling down, only to have Zayn grab a half and half suplex (half nelson/half tiger) onto the ladder. Miz climbs up but takes forever to pull down the belt, allowing Ryder to shove him off and pull down the title at 15:23.

Rating: B. This was your usually good ladder match but there was a bit too much going on. In other words, there were too many people in the match at the same time and it dragged things down. Ryder winning was a good way to pop the crowd at first but it’s pretty clear that this was supposed to be Neville. Even after the injury though, it certainly was nice of WWE to add even more people to this to make sure it was as messy as possible. Then again it’s a total spot fest and that’s all anyone was expecting it to be. Good choice for an opener at least.

Zack’s dad comes in to help celebrate. Cole says that’s Ryder’s big moment after nearly ten years of futility. That would include a Tag Team Title and the US Title so well done on making your own belts sound worthless.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho. Styles debuted back in January and was immediately cheered by the fans. He then went on to defeat Jericho on Raw, setting up a series of matches between the two. They then formed a tag team but lost in their shot at the Tag Team Titles. Jericho snapped and turned heel on AJ, setting up their fourth match here.

Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles

They lock up around the ropes to start as the fans are split on who to cheer for. AJ nips up into a headscissors and Jericho throws a chair around in frustration. Back in and they slug it out but Jericho avoids the drop down into the dropkick by holding the ropes. That’s fine with AJ as he clotheslines Jericho outside but dives into a dropkick.

Now we get into the meat of the match as Jericho slows things down and stomps away before putting on a chinlock. That’s quite heelish of him. A dragon sleeper is as well but AJ pops up and does his striking sequence, capped off by a dropkick. Jericho grabs the Walls but AJ is quickly in the ropes and back up with an elbow to the face. AJ goes up top and fights off a superplex attempt, setting up a huge super gordbuster to put both guys down. Now the Walls go on full but AJ crawls through the legs and grabs the calf Crusher to a fairly strong reaction.

That’s escaped as well so AJ tries and failed at both finishers, only to walk into the Codebreaker for a delayed two. Nice job of protecting the finisher there, even though that concept stopped mattering years ago in WWE. A Tesshocker gets two for AJ so he grabs a rollup, only to flip backwards into the Styles Clash for two more (ROAR! THEY TOTALLY KILLED THE STYLES CLASH!!! EVERY TIME SOMEONE KICKS OUT OF A FINISHER IT CAN NEVER BE USED AGAIN!!! ROAR I SAY! Typical response I’ve seen to that near fall and as usual, wrestling fans need to calm down because it means nothing.).

The Lionsault hits knees so AJ gets in the springboard 450 for two. That means it’s time for the Phenomenal Forearm (which is his finisher now, even though people have to keep raving over the Styles Clash, which isn’t even all that great of a move) but Jericho counters into the Codebreaker for the pin at 17:10.

Rating: B. As in bamboozled, which I am over that ending. It was a solid wrestling match going into that last bit and then Jericho won. Why in the world would you have Jericho, who is older and nowhere near what he was before, beat a hot act like Styles here? The match was good but this needed to be the finale of the feud with AJ taking the final win but instead Jericho gets the pin. I really do not get this and I haven’t seen anyone else who has either.

Some celebrities are here.

Maria Menunos is in the back with Zack Ryder, who says he can retire now because this is the match of his life. He talks about meeting Razor Ramon when he was a kid and getting to hold Ramon’s Intercontinental Title. Tonight they’re taking a new picture but this time it’s going to be Razor holding HIS title. That’s a great line, though I can’t imagine Ryder holding the title long.

New Day vs. League of Nations

Non-title and non-handicap due to non-Barrett, despite it being a handicap match on the pre-show. None of that matters though as New Day comes out of a giant box of Bootyo’s dressed as Super Saiyans from Dragon Ball Z. Rusev is now in trunks instead of shorts and the look doesn’t work as well. There isn’t much of a story here other than New Day insulted the League a month or so ago and they’ve feuded ever since. No reason has been given for why this isn’t a title match and I doubt one is ever coming.

Kofi cross bodies Sheamus down to start as Cole says New Day is like the Freebirds. Just….no Michael. Like…..really no. Sheamus easily punches Woods down and it’s off to Del Rio as JBL compares the League to the Horsemen. EVEN MORE NO JBL! Woods gets in a discus forearm to put Alberto down but the running enziguri allows for the tag off to Sheamus.

That means it’s time for the forearms to the chest to the beat of NEW DAY ROCKS. Well to be fair everything else is done to that beat anymore. Woods finally sends Del Rio out to the floor but Sheamus is smart enough to break up the tag attempt. The other partners get in a brawl so Xavier DDTs Sheamus and makes the hot tag to Kofi.

Everything breaks down with Kingston cleaning house, only to have Rusev kick him in the head to break it up. Big E. suplexes Rusev over the apron so E. can spear all three members through the apron for a huge crash. Rusev laying on his back with his eyes open takes this up a step. A top rope double stomp gets two on Sheamus as Del Rio kicks away at Kofi. The double stomp drives Kingston into the floor (and it looks stupid outside too), leaving Barrett to Bull Hammer Woods into the Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:03.

Rating: C-. This is the point where Wrestlemania goes flying off the cliff, leaving us with the hope that it can hang on by its fingertips. New Day is quite possibly the most popular act in wrestling but for some reason they’re jobbing to the heatless wonders. Having AJ lose was one thing but for the life of me I have no idea what they were thinking here. New Day gets the big entrance and then they just lose? That’s the best they’ve got? The match was acceptable enough but the booking just does not make sense.

Post match Barrett says no three men can beat then so here are Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley and Steve Austin (Who just doesn’t fit here. Foley and Michaels are big names but they’re nowhere near Austin in any regard. A third legend would have worked better, though I’m not sure who you would bring in here.) to easily clean house. New Day comes in post beatdown and tries to get the three of them to dance. Michaels is with it of course and Foley has a Dude Love flashback, leaving us with Austin. This goes as badly as you would expect until he dances just a bit, only to Stun Woods a few seconds later. Much beer is consumed.

This was called a burial of the League and I really don’t know where to start with explaining why this is absurd. To begin with, it’s the League of Nations. How far do they have to be put down to bury them? Second, those are three of the biggest names of all time coming in fresh to beat up a team that just had a match. This was a one off moment to give the fans something to cheer for and it’s the highest profile thing the League has ever done. Stop overthinking this stuff every now and then and just enjoy a fun moment.

Ad for upcoming Network shows.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose which is the latest in a series of challengers trying to fight Brock without much of a continuing story. In this case, Lesnar was involved in the triple threat at Fastlane where Reigns pinned Ambrose, setting up this match here so Dean can prove that Brock can’t hurt him. It’s also a street fight to give Dean a realistic (work with me here) chance.

Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose

Heyman, seemingly taken aback by the size of the crowd, handles Brock’s introduction for a nice touch. Brock drives him into the corner to start as is his traditional custom. We get the first suplex, which puts a big 1 on the huge video screens above the ring, which would continue counting throughout the match. We’re already at #3 and it’s all Brock so far. Dean grabs a kendo stick for some shots but Brock knees him away and hits two more Germans.

The fans are split on who to cheer for as Lesnar picks up the stick (JBL: “This is something you would see in Kilimanjaro.” Sure JBL. Sure.) before throwing it away. There’s another suplex before Brock stomps him down even more. Somehow this turns into a discussion of ice cubes in Puerto Rico because JBL and Byron can’t stop having their stupid arguments.

Brock stands on the stick so Dean can’t pick it up, followed by suplex number eight. Some forearms just tick Brock off even more, setting up number nine. Now Brock offers Dean a chance to come get the stick but Brock stands on it again, allowing Dean to hit him low for a hope spot. It never ceases to amuse me that a low blow is the only thing that can really hurt Brock.

Dean finds the chainsaw from Terry Funk which of course doesn’t work because this is wrestling and not a slasher movie. Suplex number ten sends Dean flying on the floor, followed by a belly to belly superplex for number eleven. Dean finally gets in a fire extinguisher blast and some weak chair shots, including a dropkick to drive the chair into Lesnar.

The chair elbow drop gets two but Dean opts to throw in a bunch of chairs instead of, you know, hitting Brock with the one he has. The stupid delay allows Brock to suplex Dean over the chairs but the F5 is countered into a DDT (not) onto the chairs for two. Now it’s time for the baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire but the swing misses (of course), allowing Brock to F5 him onto the chairs for the pin at 13:06.

Rating: D+. The more I think about this match the less I like it. This was just a step above a squash as Lesnar never felt like he was in any danger whatsoever and made Dean look like a very second class talent by comparison. I’m really not sure what the point of these Brock matches are supposed to be these days as he’s just a monster with no purpose other than coming in for the occasional squash. They don’t lead anywhere and are just standalone matches so why is this supposed to be interesting? At least make Brock sweat or something because there was never any drama here.

Flair and Zack Ryder have a WOO off but it turns out to be a Snickers commercial where Ryder takes a bite and turns into Charlotte. So wait: Charlotte is the Intercontinental Champion?

Hall of Fame recap.

We get the Hall of Fame class presentation with Godfather (limited reaction but positive), Stan Hansen (about the same), Big Boss Man (better reaction), Jacqueline (surprisingly decent cheering), Joan Lunden (nothing of note), the Freebirds (roar), Snoop Dogg (reaction was there) and of course Sting with the full entrance and a roar. That’s a solid class but Godfather looks so out of place.

We see Lita debuting the Women’s Title earlier tonight.

The recap video for the Women’s Title match is rather cool as it has a theme of searching for things on the WWE Network, showing the history of the women’s division back in the day, which brought us here to the Divas Revolution. You have Charlotte defending against her former Four Horsewomen partners Becky Lynch, who Charlotte has never defeated and Sasha Banks, who no one has ever beaten. There’s a chance that this could steal the show if they let it be an NXT style match.

Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch

Charlotte, in a robe made from the robe Ric wore in his retirement match, has her dad with her. Sasha, the overwhelming crowd favorite is in Eddie Guerrero style gear here and is introduced by her cousin Snoop Dogg with a custom rap. Charlotte gets chopped down to start but the challengers start trading near falls instead of following up. A nice pinfall reversal sequence ensues until Becky is sent outside, leaving the fans to cheer for Sasha as she stares Charlotte down. An Eddie style armdrag out of the corner sets up the dance but Becky is back in. They botch what was supposed to be a Sasha sunset flip to make Becky suplex Charlotte (hard spot to be fair) so the champ goes outside for a bit. That goes nowhere so Charlotte takes Sasha’s place, only to eat a reverse DDT for two. Charlotte rams Becky’s head into the mat a few times before going in on the knee.

Sasha comes back in but can’t get the double knees in the corner. Instead it’s Becky slapping an armbar on Charlotte until Sasha makes the save, only to have Charlotte send her outside and slap the Figure Eight on Becky. This brings Sasha back in with a frog splash for the save and a nice ovation.

Becky comes back in to suplex Sasha but gets kneed in the chest, only to have her send Sasha through the ropes for a flip dive (Which seemed to be a botch as it looked like her foot caught the top rope.) to take out Charlotte. Becky dives onto Ric for no good reason but the fans lose their minds at the old man getting dropped.

Charlotte is up first and moonsaults down onto both challengers to really get the crowd into it. The announcers are really trying to push this as the dawning of a new era and while I don’t know if I’d go that far, it’s definitely awesome so far. Back in and a double Natural Selection gets two each for Charlotte but Sasha winds up on her shoulders, followed by a missile dropkick from Becky.

The Disarm-Her has Charlotte in trouble but Sasha comes over with the Bank Statement, only to have Charlotte put Sasha in the Figure Four (not Eight). That’s turned over as well but Charlotte reverses the reversal into the Figure Eight. Of course that’s broken up by Becky and all three are down. Charlotte chops both of them from their knees so they pound her down, only to have Becky and Sasha punch each other in the face.

A wicked spear cuts Sasha in half though and Charlotte goes up. That quickly backfires as well though as Sasha gets up, allowing Becky to tie her in the Tree of Woe. A superplex sends Charlotte flying but Sasha gets Becky (and her BADLY bruised eye) in the Bank Statement. Charlotte is right back in for the save though and the Figure Eight makes Becky tap at 16:03 while Flair holds Sasha back.

Rating: B+. They were rocking here and a blown spot or two less would have made this a classic. Above all else this felt like an NXT women’s match instead of a main roster Divas match, which is exactly what the point of this was supposed to be. Hopefully this becomes the focal point of the division instead of all the lame action you get more often than not.

The big criticism here is simple though: it should have been Sasha. If there has ever been a moment perfectly set up for a title change, it was right here. Sasha had the custom entrance, the special tights and the crowd entirely behind her…..and it’s Flair interfering to keep the title on Charlotte, just like it always is. I don’t get this mentality of setting something up for down the road when you’re at Wrestlemania. It didn’t make sense when Lawler lost to Cole and it doesn’t make sense here. Great match though.

Charlotte gets a ton of pyro, including a series of fireworks outside the stadium. That really did make it feel like a bigger moment, just like it should be.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Shane vs. Undertaker and I still get lost in this whole thing. So Shane apparently had dirt on Vince and kept holding it over his head so Shane tried to get control of Raw. Vince agreed to put Raw up in exchange for whatever proof Shane had of what Vince did (the specifics of which have still not been explained and likely never will be). Shane has to fight the Undertaker inside the Cell tonight and unfortunately no one gives Shane much of a chance due to his age, time away from the ring, and HIS OPPONENT IS THE UNDERTAKER. Oh and Undertaker is done at Wrestlemania if he loses just in case you thought Shane could win.

This story has been a mess from the start and it’s not really clear who you’re supposed to cheer for. Do you go for Shane who is up against Vince and the evil Authority (after saying how much Raw has sucked in recent years) or against Undertaker who is the legend fighting for Vince because…….well it’s not really clear but in theory it’s because Vince is Vince. The idea is that Shane is in WAY over his head, which he certainly is, making this whole thing a mess. To be fair though there’s a good chance that Shane was supposed to be John Cena before the injury took him off the card. Unfortunately, this is the best thing we can get.

I know Shane being back has given a lot of fans a bunch of nostalgia but that doesn’t mean he’s capable of having a long match with anyone, let alone an old Undertaker. This has the potential to be a bunch of fun spots but having it be an actual quality match is almost completely out of the question.

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Inside the Cell of course. Of course the entrances take forever with Shane’s going long as well due to having his children (Vince’s grandchildren) dance out with him as Shane dollars fall from the ceiling. As usual, this creates an issue as the bills are everywhere, including sticking to the side of the Cell. Shane throws a kick to start for no effect before they start jabbing at the air in front of each other.

They head outside with Undertaker in control and “methodically taking his time” according to Cole because he doesn’t get that they mean the same thing. Back in and a single right hand puts Shane down but he back elbows Undertaker in the jaw to block a big boot. Cole follows up by saying this is a cat and mouse game, making sure to point out that Undertaker is indeed the cat.

Undertaker messes with some steps but gets caught with kicks as he comes back in, earning Shane a whip into the cage wall. The apron legdrop sets up the Last Ride for two and I’m done with this match five and a half minutes in. That move can give Undertaker World Titles and major wins but it can’t beat Shane McMahon when Undertaker has barely been touched? I just can’t buy that no matter how much of an athlete Shane is.

Undertaker brings the steps in but gets caught in a long triangle choke, which would be laughed off and broken in ten seconds from any other opponent but since it’s Shane it’s hard to counter for some reason. Undertaker gets Shane on his back for a cover and the hold is broken, allowing Undertaker to chokeslam him onto the steps for another two.

Oh come on now. Neither of those moves are enough to put Shane away? That’s what I’m supposed to buy? Based on those moves, this match shouldn’t have made it ten minutes but they seem to just be starting up. Undertaker misses an elbow and hits the steps so Shane says bring it on. That’s actually enough to sucker Undertaker in for a DDT onto the steps for two and the actual wrestler is WAY more out of it than he should be after one or maybe two big moves in ten minutes.

Undertaker sits up so Shane punches him in the face, earning himself a Hell’s Gate. Shane somehow escapes that (as in the move that put HHH away at a Wrestlemania) for a bad Sharpshooter, with the referee telling him to take his time. Thankfully Undertaker powers out pretty easily but he can’t handle Shane hitting him in the face a few times. Undertaker can take punches from BROCK LESNAR but Shane takes a few weeks of MMA training and he can punch Undertaker down?

Shane hits Coast to Coast and it’s only good for two because one foot driving a trashcan into Undertaker’s chest (more like stomach as the can didn’t seem to make any actual contact) actually isn’t enough to put him away. Shocking I know but we keep going. Shane gets up and finds boltcutters under the ring to break open pat of the cage wall. Undertaker is quickly to his feet though and drives Shane through the wall and up against the German announcers’ table, which really isn’t a huge impact as the wall only goes a few feet before being stopped.

It’s time to load up the announcers’ table and Undertaker calls for the Tombstone, only to have Shane counter into a sleeper. Not a special MMA choke, but a run of the mill sleeper. Instead of like, countering by easily flipping Shane over, Undertaker just stands there for a bit before driving both of them through the table for a good looking crash.

Shane comes up with a toolbox to knock Undertaker silly though…..and Shane looks at the top of the Cell. A monitor shot to the head keeps Undertaker down and it’s time to go up. Shane takes forever to finally dive off, driving himself through the table and right onto the visible crash pad.

I was genuinely scared when he was up there and seeing the pad helps a good bit as that thing is HUGE. I get that they had to have it but couldn’t they find a better way to hide it? After a lot of sitting around so Shane can be checked out, Shane says bring it on. Back in and Shane pulls himself onto the steps where Undertaker tells him to bring it. The Tombstone finally puts Shane away at 30:05.

Rating: D. Nope. You can take the nostalgia, you can take Shane fighting for his legacy (whatever that means this year) and you can pretend that Shane can get through this with pure heart and it doesn’t matter. This flat out did not work for me and it didn’t work for several reasons.

First and foremost, I do not buy that Shane McMahon is a threat to the Undertaker, nor do I buy that he could kick out of a Last Ride and chokeslam onto the steps before getting out of Hell’s Gate. They lost me as soon as that happened because, as has been established, Shane isn’t a wrestler and therefore shouldn’t be able to survive that kind of stuff. I know you can stretch a lot of the time but this was too much for me to believe.

Second, this was WAY too long at over half an hour. This went longer than Shawn vs. Undertaker inside the Cell and was the fifth longest Cell match in history. The elbow was cool (terrifying but cool) but that’s not enough to warrant this match going longer than Undertaker vs. Mankind or HHH vs. Cactus Jack. This should have been cut in half and had the time given to other stuff or maybe cut off so the show isn’t pushing five hours.

Third, it was barely a match. This was a bunch of stretches of Undertaker beats on Shane then misses a big move so Shane can get in some garbage stuff. That’s entertaining for a little while but then it gets to be the same stuff over and over. I know Shane isn’t a wrestler, but that’s the problem: you need someone more capable to have a match that lasts half an hour.

Finally, there was barely any reason to have this in the Cell other than “it’s a Cell match.” Other than the big spot at the end, the cage was barely used and there was next to no reason for these two to hate each other. Vince decided we were having this match and they tried to work in some hated or anger later but it never clicked. This easily could have been no holds barred or something and just had Shane dive off the stage or something but instead we had the Cell, which took even more time to get ready and hype up.

Overall it’s certainly not the worst match I’ve ever seen for the gimmick and I was entertained at times but it was just too long with too many leaps in realism. This is a match where Shane should have brought people in to help him and maybe set something up for Undertaker later.

Instead it was like when Vince and Shane fought DX with no help: no one believes it because the wrestler is just too good for the businessman who wrestles on occasion. This could have worked at about fifteen minutes but it was dragging at twelve and only came close to picking up near the end. I wasn’t a fan here and it was worse on a second viewing.

Shane is wheeled out on a stretcher to eat up even more time. He throws a thumbs up and pounds his chest for the crowd.

Here’s the pre-show panel while the ring is cleaned up.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Fandango, Damien Sandow, Shaquille O’Neal, Big Show, Viktor, Diamond Dallas Page, Konnor, Tatanka, Jack Swagger, R-Truth, Goldust, Baron Corbin, Curtis Axel, Adam Rose, Heath Slater, Tyler Breeze, Mark Henry, Bo Dallas, Darren Young, Kane

Page was a cool surprise with the music getting a strong pop. Put the guy in the Hall of Fame already. Tatanka was at Axxess earlier in the day but I have no idea why he’s in this. O’Neal was a surprise, even though his TapOut graphic flashed during Big Show’s entrance. Show and Shaq have the staredown but Kane interrupts it, only to have everyone get knocked down to the floor so we can have the real showdown.

Fandango tries to dance but gets tossed by the giants. Shaq eliminates Sandow as well before it’s time for the big choke off, only to have everyone come in and eliminate Shaq and Show. The match turns into a regular battle royal now, minus all of the interest because…..well look at the lineup. Page Diamond Cuts Viktor for an easy elimination but Konor actually gets rid of the yoga guy.

Truth dumps Konor and it’s time for the Tatanka warpath. That lasts as long as you would expect it to before Corbin dumps Tatanka. Kane gets rid of Swagger and it’s time for the Social Outcasts to clean house, including eliminating Truth. Goldust follows Truth to the floor and it’s time for the BO TRAIN!

Kane quickly derails it (duh) and Corbin cuts off the other exit. Axel and Rose are quickly out but Kane chokeslams Corbin. Henry gets back in and easily throws out Slater. Breeze follows them as the ring is suddenly mostly empty. Kane and Young (now there’s a pair) eliminates Henry. Darren celebrates and gets dumped at the same time as Dallas, only to have Corbin throw Kane out for the BIG surprise win at 9:41.

Rating: D. The match sucked but Corbin winning was the perfect call. It instantly gives him a path to running up the main roster and that’s all this was supposed to be. Kane being the last man out is fine but I’m really annoyed that the battle royal has taken such a fall in the last two years. It’s now just another battle royal with lower card and midcard goons, but at least two of the first three winners have been people in need of a push.

Wrestlemania XXXIII will be in Orlando.

Here are the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders for a completely unnecessary (yet very visually appealing) dance number. Yeah it’s just an excuse to have good looking women in glorified swimsuits but here’s the Rock to spice things up. Oh wait he can’t walk through the cheerleader tunnel yet because……he’s got a flamethrower. He plays with it a bit before lighting up a big ROCK sign, which is put out a few moments later.

Rock FINALLY comes down to the ring, making sure to show off the bicep to one of the cheerleaders along the way. A mere SEVEN AND A HALF MINUTES after the cheerleaders came out, Rock says his first word. Rock talks about seeing smiling faces on all four sides of the stadium, which means there are going to be a lot of Wrestlemania babies in nine months. He talks about how awesome it is to be here with the millions (which he keeps saying) before FINALLY getting to the point: announcing the new Wrestlemania attendance record. Rock says it’s about to get good…..and we’ve got Wyatts.

Seeing the fireflies in the stadium really was one of the coolest things I got to see all night and was definitely worth seeing in person. Bray introduces himself and his brothers before saying he chose Rock. See, Rock represents success, greatness and a lie. This moment doesn’t belong to the Rock or to the people but to Bray Wyatt himself. Rock looks a bit nervous but immediately starts mocking Bray for saying he would eviscerate Rock right now. “You come out here and talk like you’ve been hitting the bong for about eight days straight jack.”

Rowan’s parents are clearly related and Strowman looks like he’s been breast fed since he was 26 years old. As for Bray though, Rock has had his eye on him since Bray got to the WWE. Bray has the ability and the charisma (nice applause for that) and when his music hit, 100,000 people put their phones in the air. Then Bray said he wanted to eviscerate the Rock but that’s knocking on a door that he doesn’t want answered. Bray can say he’s the eater of worlds but Rock thinks he’s just the eater of Hot Pockets.

Rock is wrong though because Bray is here to kick a door down because he has no idea who he’s fooling with right now. There goes the shirt but Rock doesn’t think we’re going to have a Wrestlemania fight. No, we’re going to have a Wrestlemania MATCH. We’ve got a referee out here and there go the tear away pants. This is actually happening and the fans are WAY into it.

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Bell, Rock Bottom, six seconds. Well it was indeed a match and a Wrestlemania record.

The Wyatts surround the ring…..and here’s John Cena for the save. Rowan and Strowman take finishers and it’s a spinebuster into the Rock Bottom for Bray. Rock grabs a mic, says welcome back to Cena, and wraps it up after twenty eight minutes, or longer than anything all night but the Cell.

Oh and no this wasn’t a burial of the Wyatts. This was the Wyatts interacting with one of the biggest stars of all time and having him beat their lackey whose entire job is to take the fall in losses. The segment is going to set up the Wyatts turning face and maybe going somewhere for a change. Also it was Rock praising Bray, which of course buries him like it buried Rusev back in the day, before Rusev won the US Title and then beat John Cena on pay per view. You know, after crawling out of the grave that Rock put him in and all that. This was fine for the Wyatts and not a burial. Well other than being WAY too long of course.

Long recap of Roman Reigns vs. HHH, which is basically HHH wanting to hold Reigns down because Reigns didn’t want to join the Authority. This turned into a really watered down story with HHH wanting to prove that he still had it with the feud dying more and more every week. Reigns has been more aggressive lately which has made things better, but this is still just a step above a disaster coming in.

We see a bunch of men with white heads and metal plates over their faces. As in thousands of them, all standing in a huge group. Stephanie is shown in the HHH skull mask standing in front of a throne looking like a witch. She wants us to rise in their presence because we all exist to serve them. They are the leaders and the power because they own all of us. After tonight, all hope will be gone because only HHH can stand in the coliseum of the immortals. Here’s a quick translation: “WE’RE HEELS! BOO US AND NOT REIGNS!”

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. HHH

HHH comes to the ring flanked by an army of the white headed guys (all from NXT in theory), all carrying WWE Titles. Reigns is loudly booed but it’s not quite as bad as I was expecting. HHH grabs a headlock to start and slaps Reigns in the back of the head. Remember that they hate each other and keep wanting to hurt the other as much as possible.

Reigns gets sent over the top and out to the floor before HHH starts in on his arm. There’s a right hand to send HHH into the corner and Reigns throws in a crotch chop. That earns HHH a whip across the ring but he avoids a charge and hits Reigns in the back of the head. Some pretty loud spot calling sets up a knee to the back of the head, followed by a stiff punch to Roman’s face.

Reigns comes back with the running clothesline and apron boot, only to have Stephanie offer a distraction so HHH can get in a low blow. I guess it’s not enough that she takes everyone’s balls but now she’s helping get her husband some balls too. A slugout goes to Reigns but a spinebuster gives HHH two. They head outside with Reigns being rammed face first into the table and then being thrown over it for good measure.

You can hear the fans groaning at the slow pace, especially over six hours into the evening. Back in and a middle rope knee gets two for the champ but he tries again and gets punched out of the air. A Samoan drop gets two and has Stephanie panicking but HHH avoids the Superman punch by rolling to the outside. This is dragging BADLY here as HHH still can’t work an epic style match to save his life.

Reigns sends him into the steps and followed with a huge spear through the barricade. Good thing the security guards had already cleared out that part of the crowd. Reigns’ left arm is hanging as they get back inside, only to have the Superman punch countered into an armbar because this hasn’t gone long enough yet.

Reigns rolls out of another armbar and lifts HHH up into the sitout powerbomb for two as this just keeps going. HHH is right back with the cross armbreaker but Reigns counters exactly the same way. The spear is blocked and HHH tries a Pedigree, which is quickly countered with a backdrop over the top. Back in and the spear gets two as Stephanie pulls the referee out.

That means another spear but Stephanie takes it instead…..and suddenly Reigns is as popular as free beer in a frat house. I mean the place is suddenly WAY into him all for finally giving Stephanie what she had coming to her. HHH is livid and gets two off a Pedigree. The Superman punch connects but the spear eats knee. Stephanie hands him the sledgehammer but it’s another Superman punch and the spear for the title at 27:11.

Rating: D. HHH needs to stop trying to go big because he just can’t pull it off. I don’t know how else to put it but he just can’t do it. This was yet another match that didn’t fit the story in the slightest as it was more like HHH was trying to outsmart Reigns instead of beating on each other like two men out for blood. It was a boring match and a really weak way to wrap up this show. The spear to Stephanie was PERFECT though and something long overdue. I don’t need her to get beaten up every single week or anything but taking a bump every now and then isn’t going to kill her or her all important heat.

Reigns celebrates a lot.

A five minute highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. We’ll get to the elephant in the stadium later and start off by saying there’s a lot of good stuff on here. The wrestling is strong almost throughout save for the double main event with the women’s match and the ladder match standing out as very entertaining stuff. If the two big matches hadn’t been so horrible, this show would shoot up the charts.

Then there’s the booking. Oh yes then there’s the booking. From Ryder (who was clearly supposed to be Neville) winning the title after winning two matches on Raw in a year to AJ and New Day losing to Dean practically getting squashed to Sasha not winning, it was a big night for the heels with very little to cheer for. Just a bad night of decision making which seemed to be nothing more than a way to get on the fans’ nerves.

However, that leaves us with the big problem: counting the pre-show, this was just under seven hours long, or TRIPLE what Takeover: Dallas was. I get that Wrestlemania is bigger than anything all year but they went WAY too far this year. Looking back at the show, the Cell could have been cut in half, Rock’s promo could have lost five to ten minutes and the main event could have been ten minutes shorter. That’s not much but it gets you down over half an hour, which is getting closer to manageable.

That’s where the show loses it for me and for most people. If you can get this down to under six hours (counting the pre-show, which could have been chopped down too), you have a much better show. If you can fix the booking issues (which could have been mostly solved by having AJ and New Day win), this show is instantly higher up on the list of great shows.

Overall, Wrestlemania was really starting to feel like a chore near the end. You shouldn’t be sitting there thinking “we’ve got this and this left to get through and then we can leave”. At a show like this, or really any show actually, you should be excitedly waiting for the main event. However, it really doesn’t matter what that match is when it’s six hours into a show. It’s just too long and it really hurt things.

There’s a lot of good on this show and the surprises really helped it out, but in any wrestling show you can reach a point where the decisions being made outweigh anything that can go on in the ring. So many things at the show held back the good stuff and there wasn’t much of a way around that, which is why this show fell as far as it did. It’s an entertaining show, but it really needs a good shaking while someone pulls back on the booker’s reins.

Results

Zack Ryder b. Kevin Owens, Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Sami Zayn, Stardust and Sin Cara – Ryder pulled down the title

Chris Jericho b. AJ Styles – Codebreaker

League of Nations b. New Day – Brogue Kick to Woods

Brock Lesnar b. Dean Ambrose – F5 onto a pile of chairs

Charlotte b. Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks – Figure Eight to Lynch

Undertaker b. Shane McMahon – Tombstone

Baron Corbin won the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal last eliminating Kane

The Rock b. Erick Rowan – Rock Bottom

Roman Reigns b. HHH – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: April 7, 2016
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler

Things have changed a bit since last time and WWE has hit the ground mostly running since this Sunday’s Wrestlemania. The big story coming out of Monday is AJ Styles being crowned as a surprising #1 contender to new champion Roman Reigns, which might get some buildup starting tonight. Also we have the Vaudevillains making their main roster debut so let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Wrestlemania.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Roman Reigns to get things going, drawing a good deal of booing in the process. Reigns gets right to the point by saying he took on the Authority and won this title. When you have this title, everybody wants it so that means it’s one vs. all again. Reigns gets in the “I’m THE guy” line again and I’m still not sure how I feel on that. I get what they’re going for here but it’s still not the answer to their problems. Saying Reigns isn’t a good guy might take away some of the stigma around him but it’s not going to make people like him either. Maybe that’s what they’re going for and if so then cool, though it’s still not working great.

Anyway Reigns brings up being the new champion and getting ready to beat AJ Styles, which brings out AJ himself. Styles praises Reigns for having a great Wrestlemania, but he had a heck of a Monday Night Raw. That means it’s time for AJ to come for the World Title because he’s been all over the world and wants to win that prize. Reigns says AJ can want it all he wants but it means he has to beat THE GUY. Yeah AJ has beaten a lot of guys but he’s never beaten Reigns, and he never will.

This feud could go somewhere interesting but I’m still not sure how well it’s going to get there yet. Reigns beating AJ as a challenger of the month is a good idea because AJ will get a good match out of him, though that THE GUY idea needs some work. It’s certainly an interesting idea but they need to figure out how to put everything together.

We look back at Vince giving Shane control over Raw, completely negating the importance of the last six weeks or so of this story. That might be better for everyone involved actually.

Lucha Dragons vs. Vaudevillains

This is the Vaudevillains’ (Aiden English/Simon Gotch) main roster debut after a long time down in NXT. Cara and English get things going with Mauro telling us about some martial art that English practices. Cara backdrops him down and brings Kalisto in for the monkey flip 450. As Lawler seems to call him “Hayden English”, Simon breaks up Kalisto’s dive with a quick knee from the corner.

English puts on a chinlock as Mauro gives a quick history of some martial art that Gotch uses called Bartitsu. Cara armdrags Aiden down and makes the hot tag off to Kalisto as things speed way up. Everything breaks down with Cara being taken down on the floor, leaving Kalisto to take the Whirling Dervish for the pin at 4:03, because SIN CARA CAN’T TAKE A PIN FOR WHATEVER FREAKING REASON.

Rating: D+. The match was watchable and fine but had no spark to it. The Vaudevillains really aren’t that exciting of a team as you see their gimmick and realize there’s nothing more to it than what you see. Kalisto losing makes me shake my head and reenforces the fact that this team needs to split or Kalisto needs to drop the title. You can’t be in a low level team and hold a title at the same time as it leads to bad losses like this which mean nothing but still devalue the title.

Stills package of the ladder match and a video of Ryder losing the title the next night to Miz.

We see Lita presenting Charlotte with the new Women’s Title and everyone but Natalya leaving, probably setting up a title match soon down the line.

Natalya vs. Summer Rae

Charlotte is on commentary with Flair by her side. Natalya easily takes it to the mat to start and does her stepover into the basement dropkick. Summer sends her outside for a snap suplex as we actually get a Beautiful Fierce Females reference from the champ. That’s a faction I haven’t thought of in years. We hit the chinlock back inside, only to have Natalya pop up and grab the Sharpshooter for the tap out at 2:54. This was exactly what you would have expected.

We look back at Reigns winning the title and being challenged by Jericho, Styles, Owens and Zayn, followed by Styles winning the four way to become #1 contender.

Intercontinental Title: Zack Ryder vs. Miz

Miz is defending and has Maryse introduce him. Ryder gets a quick rollup for two and he’s already looking desperate. A forearm and slingshot splash get two for Ryder, followed by a dropkick through the ropes for the same. Back from a break with Miz kicking out of something we don’t see and getting in a quick shot to set up the Reality Check for two. A knee to the ribs keeps Ryder in trouble and Miz makes it even worse by calling him a loser. Now come on. Just because you’re a cocky heel with a gorgeous wife doesn’t mean you have to be impolite.

Ryder comes back with a dropkick but dives http://onhealthy.net/product-category/diabetes/ into a sitout powerbomb. That’s not something you see Miz use that often. The short DDT gets two on Ryder but he comes right back with a facebuster for two of his own. A Broski Boot on the floor sets up the Elbro (yes the Elbro) for two back inside. Not that it matters as Maryse offers a distraction, allowing Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale to retain at 12:36.

Rating: C-. Well so much for Ryder. I get that this was supposed to be Neville (it would have made much more sense) and that it was never going to last but it begs the question: why not put the title on Ziggler? I know the match has been overdone but Ziggler at least has some credibility. Ryder has won two Raw/Smackdown matches in about two years and we were supposed to buy him as Intercontinental Champion? That just doesn’t work, no matter how you spin it.

The Social Outcasts play Rock Paper Scissors to determine who gets to face Apollo Crews. Axel is the odd man out but says he wins because the ax beats all.

Curtis Axel vs. Apollo Crews

Axel gets in a quick shot but heads outside for the Bo Train. That’s not cool with Crews who goes outside and pops Axel in the jaw. A Rose distraction lets Axel get in another cheap shot to take over but Crews clotheslines him down and nips up. The standing moonsault gets two and the lifting sitout powerbomb puts Axel away at 2:35.

Video on the Andre battle royal, focusing on Shaquille O’Neal appearing and Baron Corbin getting the win. We also see Corbin beating up Ziggler, though the match wound up as a double countout.

Corbin says the end of days is here.

Stills of the Women’s Title triple threat from Sunday. Thankfully Ranallo says the Women’s Title is back instead of being introduced.

Becky Lynch says Sunday was a brutal match but she’ll never lose her passion. That’s what it’s all about and that’s why she walked out of Charlotte’s speech on Monday. Emma comes in to brag about getting to the WWE first, probably setting up a match for some point in the future.

Primo and Epico video about how awesome Puerto Rico is.

Dean Ambrose vs. Tyler Breeze

Dean is right on him with shots in the corner and avoids a charge to make things even worse. A big clothesline sets up Dirty Deeds for the pin on Breeze at 1:15.

Ambrose leaves as Chris Jericho is coming out for the main event, giving us a staredown.

Goldust is pitching Shattered Dreams Productions II when R-Truth comes in with a camera to be the director. Apparently there’s going to be a top Hollywood producer at Raw this Monday and Truth can get him an audition. For some reason Goldust goes along with this.

Cesaro/AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens

Cesaro still has that awesome tear away suit. Jericho and Styles get things going with Chris eating an early dropkick. Cesaro comes in and scares Jericho to the floor as we take a break. Back with Styles knocking Jericho into the wrong corner before it’s off to Cesaro vs. Owens for some hard shouts to the face. Both heels have to avoid the Cesaro Swing and Jericho is able to get in a shot to the back for his first advantage.

Owens teases the Cannonball but opts for a clothesline instead before tagging Jericho in (Owens: “High five!”). The already slow paced match slows down even more with Jericho cranking on Cesaro’s arms. Back up and Cesaro throws him to the floor, only to have Jericho pull AJ off the apron to break up the hot tag. Owens comes in and misses the Cannonball and NOW it’s the hot tag to AJ as everything breaks down.

AJ cleans house but Owens quickly takes over, only to eat a Pele. Jericho breaks up the Phenomenal Forearm and the package side slam gets two on AJ. Cesaro beats on Jericho outside as Sami Zayn comes out to go after Owens. The distraction lets AJ roll Owens up for the pin at 13:03.

Rating: C-. I really didn’t care for this one as they were just going through the motions for a bit until the ending. The wrestling was fine but I never felt like this match mattered. Unfortunately that’s most Smackdown main events in a nutshell: watchable but completely inconsequential more often than not.

Owens and Zayn (whose arm is heavily taped) brawl post match with security breaking it up but accidentally allowing Owens to get in a clean shot to the jaw. Zayn is sent into the steps to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Oh yeah Wrestlemania week has wrapped up and you can feel the energy going down. This was a slightly hotter than usual Smackdown though the quality really wasn’t there. It was a bunch of Wrestlemania fallout stuff but since this isn’t Raw, almost nothing happened and you could skip a lot of this without missing a single thing.

Results

Vaudevillains b. Lucha Dragons – Whirling Dervish to Kalisto

Natalya b. Summer Rae – Sharpshooter

Miz b. Zack Ryder – Skull Crushing Finale

Apollo Crews b. Curtis Axel – Lifting sitout powerbomb

Dean Ambrose b. Tyler Breeze – Dirty Deeds

AJ Styles/Cesaro b. Kevin Owens/Chris Jericho – Rollup to Owens

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Nitro #266
Date: November 13, 2000
Location: London Arena, London, England
Attendance: 9,138
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray, Mike Tenay

Well maybe it’s going to get better on the other side of the world. I mean, the Australian shows were an improvement in a way but it should be interesting to see what they do over in England. We’re a few weeks away from Mayhem and it’s fairly clear that Booker T.’s World Title reign is in trouble. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about….Battledome. There’s the Thrillers turning on Nash and all the other stuff in there too but the fact that Battledome is in this spot disturbs me.

Opening sequence.

The roster comes down to ringside and it looks like it’s time for a meeting. Tony has an envelope from Ric Flair, which isn’t to be open until Ric is here. Cue Ric to put over WCW and talk about how hard Mike Sanders works as Commissioner. However, if Mike ever steps out of line, Flair has the authority to override him at anytime. That brings Flair to the Cruiserweight Title, which Sanders has 48 hours to defend. Tonight though, we’re going to have an eight man Lethal Lottery with the final team standing facing off on Thunder for a World Title shot the night after Mayhem. Here are the teams:

Mike Awesome/Bam Bam Bigelow

Booker T./Lex Luger

Alex Wright/Disco Inferno

Sting/Scott Steiner

They really can’t go through one of these without giving away how rigged the drawing is. Anyway there’s no Steiner so Flair says get out here right now. Steiner comes out and gets in Flair’s face which triggers a brawl. Sting and Booker get into it a bit and the rest of the roster get in the ring as everything falls apart.

The Natural Born Thrillers arrive.

Earlier today, Big Vito took credit for helping Crowbar win the Hardcore Title on Thunder. A shot is granted for later tonight.

Sanders gives Lance Storm a match with General Rection for the US Title tonight. Steiner comes in and agrees to anger management.

Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. Crowbar

Vito is challenging and they start going at it immediately with Vito punching the champ in the jaw, only to be sent into the post. The fight goes into the crowd and Vito knocks him under some bleachers before slamming him through some fish and chips. Back to ringside with Vito loading up a table, which unfortunately gets a chant over in England too. Vito gets catapulted into the post to bust him open but he’s still able to knock Crowbar onto the table.

The big elbow doesn’t get to launch though as Crowbar rolls away so Vito throws the table inside. This is getting a lot more time than most hardcore matches and it’s only proving that hardcore matches don’t need to last very long. Back in and Vito kicks the referee by mistake, because a hardcore match needed a ref bump. Another kick puts Crowbar down but here’s Reno to hit Vito with a baseball bat. Crowbar doesn’t see it so he superplexes Vito through the table to retain.

Rating: D+. Standard hardcore match here with a little more time than usual. In other words, nothing we haven’t seen a dozen times, though it was cool to see Crowbar and Vito getting a bit of time instead of having to rush through everything. I like both guys but no one could make anything out of the hardcore division. Look at Norman Smiley, who was an actual act in the division and is now just another jobber.

Mike Awesome and Bam Bam Bigelow would rather be fighting but they’re willing to work together for the sake of getting a title shot.

Here are the Thrillers for a chat. Sanders says the polls are closed and the votes are in, meaning the team has won the award for World’s Biggest Swerve. Tony: “We demand a recount.” Kevin Nash is a master manipulator who gets whatever he wants but if he can’t, he resorts to violence. All that changed last week when Nash hit a roadblock which left him SOL. “And he knows what that means now.” I didn’t know for years after this show and WCW used it WAY too often.

Stasiak says Nash fell to evolution (Stevie: “Revolution?”) but here’s Nash to interrupt. Kevin gets right to the point and says he’s twice as dangerous now so Sanders makes O’Haire vs. Stasiak vs. Palumbo vs. Nash in a four corners match. Nash accepts and promises that Stasiak is his tonight.

Sting is willing to work with Steiner to get a title shot.

Elix Skipper hits on Ms. Jones but she says he’s not over. Cat comes in and a match is made for later.

Mike Awesome/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Sting/Scott Steiner

Steiner starts brawling with both guys before Sting even gets to the aisle but I can’t blame him for not being worried about either guy. Sting gets in and cleans house as Tony wonders what happens if Steiner wins this whole thing and then wins the title as well. A fight almost breaks out between Sting and Steiner, allowing Awesome to get in a shot from behind as this turns into a regular match. Steiner comes in to beat on Awesome and Bigelow gets thrown with a suplex. Awesome grabs an Alabama Slam on Steiner but Sting breaks up the Awesome Splash, setting up the Recliner to advance Sting and Steiner.

Rating: D. Nothing match here of course but that’s exactly what it was expected to be. Sting and Steiner advancing was the only option as no one is going to buy Bigelow and Awesome as a threat to win anything, especially after Awesome lost his two title shots in the last few weeks. At least Steiner didn’t make Bigelow submit because that might have taken away some of his heat, which he totally has.

Bigelow lays Awesome out post match.

Jimmy Hart accepts a challenge from a DJ from August, Georgia.

The Boogie Knights try to sell Kronik their spot in the Lethal Lottery but wind up paying them to take the spots instead.

The Filthy Animals tell Flair what the Knights just did because the boss doesn’t watch the show.

Booker doesn’t care who he’s fighting tonight.

Flair has a replacement to face the Knights. Just say it’s Goldberg.

The Misfits are ready for Storm and Team Canada tonight.

We recap last week’s brawl with the Battledome Warriors.

This week, WCW invaded the Battledome set.

Earlier today, the Battledome Warriors invaded and had a brawl in the back. There’s no evidence that this was actually in London of course.

Booker T./Lex Luger vs. Kronik

Booker and Clark get things going with the champ kicking him in the face and bringing Luger in, only to have Lex get taken into the Kronik corner. Adams gets two off a piledriver (Tony: “That move right there could change the landscape of WCW.”) but the referee gets distracted, allowing Booker to get in a kick to to set up the hot tag.

Now it’s Booker cleaning house until what looks like a low blow takes him down. Lex comes in and throws Booker to the floor, earning himself a full nelson slam from Adams. Cue Scott Steiner to hit Booker in the back, setting up High Times to give Adams the pin, naturally on Booker because Luger needs to be protected.

Rating: D. These matches are getting worse each time and the ending here made my eyes roll. What is this company’s obsession with making the champions look like morons who can’t win anything on their own? Much like the first match, this didn’t have enough time to go anywhere and the story was more important than the action.

Kronik says if one of them wins the belt, they both do.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Sean O’Haire vs. Chuck Palumbo vs. Kevin Nash

Shawn bails to start and brings in Palumbo to eat a side slam for two. It’s off to O’Haire for knees and kicks, allowing Stasiak to come in for his cheap shots. Palumbo sends him into the buckle as I’m still trying to figure out why this is a four corners match. I know it’s a common thing in WCW but I really don’t get why this is happening. Nash fights up and cleans house but Reno comes in to break up the Jackknife on Stasiak, drawing the DQ.

Rating: D-. If there’s a good match coming on this show, I’d love to see it anytime soon. This was another bad match that should have been a handicap as they did nothing to suggest that it was anything else. Nash vs. the Thrillers is fine but it doesn’t work unless the young guys go over in the end.

Jindrak comes in and helps with the beatdown.

Elix Skipper vs. The Cat

Slugout to start with Cat taking over, unfortunately at a very fast pace which means he’s likely to get blown up in a hurry. They head outside with Elix sending him into the apron, only to get smacked in the face for hitting on Jones. Stevie: “She learned that at Yak University!” Cat gets in his dancing shots to the face, followed by the Feliner for the pin.

Rating: D-. Well Jones looked good so the match wasn’t a total loss. As has been the case all night though, this was a short, nothing match set up earlier in the show which isn’t likely to mean anything by the end of the night. It filled in time though and at this point, that’s almost all you can ask for in WCW.

Boogie Knights vs. ???

Of course it’s Goldberg. Wright gets in a missile dropkick to stagger Goldberg but a spear cuts Disco in half. Some slams set up the Jackhammer for the pin on Wright in short order.

Steiner says he’ll win everything.

US Title: General Rection vs. Lance Storm

Storm is challenging and Gunns is the only one at ringside. Rection shrugs off some chops and takes him outside, only to have a suplex countered into a DDT on the floor. Back in and Lance gets two off a springboard missile dropkick. Rection gets the same with a powerslam as the Misfits and the Canadians come out to brawl. Gunns turns heel though by handing Storm a foreign object but Rection is up at two. We hit the Mapleleaf though and Gunns throws in the towel to give Storm the title. Well that’s overkill.

Rating: D. Another angle instead of a match here on a show full of them. Gunns turning means nothing because now she’s going to be Canadian by choice instead of by force, which is totally different you see. In theory it sets up Rection winning the title one on one though and that’s fine all around. No one cares about Gunns turning though.

Post break, Gunns takes off the Bombs Away shirt to reveal the Mapleleafs.

Kronik vs. Scott Steiner/Sting

Adams gets in an early piledriver on Sting, followed by a gorilla press gutbuster for two. It’s off to Steiner for a low blow on Adams and a hard beating on Clark in the corner. The belly to belly sets up more right hands to Clark’s head before making the tag off to Sting. Everything breaks down and Adams has to break up the Deathlock on Clark, setting up a full nelson slam and High Times on Scott. Midajah offers a distraction though and Sting counters the Meltdown into the Death Drop for the pin.

Rating: D. Good night there have been some bad matches tonight. This was the most obvious ending, even though having Steiner potentially win a title shot when he could be champion beforehand isn’t the brightest idea in the world. Kronik being in here was fine but the story is a bit messier than it really needed to be. At least this competition was only three matches long instead of a full show. I don’t want to imagine what WCW would try with twenty or more people in one of these things.

Post match Steiner chairs Sting so Booker comes out with a chair of his own to knock Steiner out. Sting gets up and Booker knocks him out by mistake.

Overall Rating: D-. So much for the hot streak as WCW comes crashing right back down to earth with this mess of a show. There were way too many matches that either meant nothing and a competition that didn’t need to be there (though could have been worse). This was a really weak show overall though there’s always the chance that the flight to England might have had something to do with it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: November 8, 2000
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Stevie Ray

We’re still rolling towards Mayhem and things are starting to get a bit better. The shows still aren’t great but they’re coherent and you can see where they want to go for the most part. I’ll take that over Russo’s insanity as now I kind of want to see where things are going instead of waiting on the next big surprise. Let’s get to it.

Booker goes to see Mike Sanders and asks for a match with Shawn Stasiak tonight. Instead he’ll get to defend the title against Mike Awesome, which earns Sanders a quick threat.

Opening sequence.

Evan Karagias vs. Jamie Noble

Apparently Evan is a spoiled celebrity now. The fans don’t appreciate a pair of cruiserweights slugging it out so Jamie sends him to the floor and dives off the apron to take Evan down. Back in and Jamie drops a leg to set up what looks like a moonsault, only to get crotched for his efforts. That means it’s time for some posing before Evan almost drops him on his head in a gorilla press. I know Evan is trying to act strong but that doesn’t mean he can throw people around.

Thankfully Jamie rolls into a sunset flip, only to get powerbombed for two. A World’s Strongest Slam looks to set up a superplex but Jamie shoves him down and drops a top rope legdrop for a near fall of his own. Jamie fights back with chops and a good looking dropkick before missing a charge to the outside. Cue 3 Count to beat down Evan, giving Jamie the easy pin. As usual, WCW referee prove themselves to be such brilliant minds.

Rating: D+. Evan wasn’t the best worker in the world to start and now they’re having him do stuff he isn’t exactly ready to do yet. Jamie is talented enough to do a lot in WCW, though of course I can’t imagine they’ll actually go anywhere with him other than just having the same matches over and over. Splitting the two teams into three was a nice short term concept but as usual it didn’t have anywhere to go.

Jamie runs 3 Count off. Music hater.

The Boogie Knights don’t like Konnan but Gene doesn’t like Disco’s hat.

Hardcore Title: Reno vs. Crowbar

Reno is defending. Thankfully Crowbar drops his 70s clothes on the way to the ring since he barely interacts with Awesome anymore. Reno starts with some kendo stick shots before opting for trashcan shots to the head. He’s nothing if not versatile. Crowbar comes back like it’s nothing (because it pretty much was) and splashes a chair onto the champ, meaning it’s time for a ladder. To be fair the match is like a minute and a half old so the next step much be a ladder. A splash and a moonsault onto the ladder onto Reno don’t even get two so it’s time for more chopping.

The ladder is set up in the corner but Reno’s suplex is left a good bit short and Crowbar barely makes contact. You had to see something like this coming eventually. Roll the Dice is broken up so Reno settles for a t-bone suplex, only to get dropkicked out to the floor so Crowbar can drop a ladder onto him for a painful crash. Crowbar puts him on a chair on the floor for a clothesline off the apron and they fight up the aisle with Reno suplexing him near the entrance. A quick trip to the back goes nowhere so here’s Vito to kick Reno off the stage, setting up Crowbar’s splash for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. Good enough for a hardcore match here and it’s nice to see Crowbar finally getting some recognition for how talented he really is. Unfortunately the division barely exists and there’s no reason to believe that this is going to lead anywhere for Crowbar. There were some good spots here too and that’s as much as you’re going to get in a match like this.

Mike Awesome and the Misfits celebrate with the new champion.

Konnan vs. Disco Inferno

Kidman is on commentary as Konnan jumps Disco at the bell. An armbar doesn’t get Konnan anywhere and it’s Disco stomping away in the corner. Disco and the referee (Scott Armstrong, oh he of the hitch in the count) get in an argument over choking, which means we get another discussion of Road Dogg. Konnan makes a quick comeback but the Animals ave to take out Wright. The distraction lets Konnan get in a quick X Factor for the pin.

Mike Awesome doesn’t think much of Booker and/or Scott Steiner.

Now we get a sitdown interview at what looks like a restaurant (minus food of course) with Mark Madden talking to the Cat, with Ms. Jones who seems to be there to give us something to look at. They manage to stay civil for all of two seconds before Cat calls him greasy. I would say just like the food but again this is a restaurant without actual food.

Cat keeps going with something about wanting to be anti-establishment and how much he wants to hurt Madden. He’s also not a fan of Ric Flair being around forever and then gets into a stupid discussion of Battledome. Yes that’s still a thing and they’re really still doing it for reasons that I’ll never understand. Oh and he’ll fight Shane Douglas anytime. The thing just kind of ends after A LOT of yelling at Madden with Cat really just going insane instead of really sounding coherent or having a point, aside from maybe Battledome.

Steiner goes into Sanders’ office and asks if he can get anger management courses to avoid losing his title shot. That’s rather out of character for him so he grabs Mike by the throat and threatens to kill him if this doesn’t work. That’s more like it.

Mayhem ad.

Here’s David Flair to accuse Rey Mysterio of being the father. Why in the world is this still a thing, especially since Stacy hasn’t been on TV in weeks? Rey says he isn’t the father but he’ll be David’s daddy tonight. Uh, isn’t David’s daddy already a character on the show?

Rey Mysterio vs. David Flair

Rey starts fast with a springboard splash for two but David, in street clothes, takes it outside for a chop against the barricade. The commentary focuses on Battledome of course as Tygress knocks David out with a hard forearm, setting up back to back Bronco Busters on David. A springboard legdrop to the back of the head puts David away with ease.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Kevin Nash

Not so fast of course because Stasiak brings out Kronik for some backup. Sanders advises Kronik to head to the back because this isn’t worth losing their pay over. They do indeed leave….and the Thrillers turn on Nash for the big beatdown. So Nash is a face? Again? And forget the whole Stasiak face turn I guess? Booker comes in for the save for no real logical reason.

Nash is checked out by the trainers.

Scott Steiner video.

Luger and Bigelow seem to be in cahoots for the main event tonight. Thanks for clearing that up for us WCW.

Lance Storm vs. Meng

Storm isn’t happy with Meng’s job against Sgt. AWALL last week, which made it even more clear that if you want something done right, hire a Canadian. Kwee Wee and Paisley come out with Meng to continue one of the most confusing pairings in a long time. Naturally the two of them sit down on commentary because that’s how you get in bonus material on a wrestling show.

Meng shoves him around to start as Paisley says Angry Alan (the alter ego that comes out when Kwee Wee gets mad) a mini-Meng. Storm gets knocked to the floor and you can see the glitter on him from his match against Kwee Wee on Nitro. Back in and Storm’s clothesline has no effect but Skipper gets in a cheap shot so Lance can take over. A Samoan drop plants Storm but it’s time for Meng to go after the other Canadians for a double countout.

Rating: D. Nothing match here but at least the right guy won while they kept Meng looking strong. Paisley got on my nerves by arguing with Stevie during the entire match but it makes sense that she would be annoyed at being called a yak for weeks. Meng and Kwee Wee have potential as a goofy team and I’ve heard worse ideas. It was a bad match but the right result so at least they’re getting something right.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Mike Awesome

Booker is defending of course. Awesome is all fired up to start and gets in Booker’s face, finally showing some fire instead of his Saturday Night Fever influences. A headlock doesn’t get Mike anywhere as Booker gets in a dropkick for an early advantage. Awesome clotheslines him out to the floor and sends Booker into the barricade before hitting Booker in the back. Maybe he learned that by watching Booker do it to Nash on Monday.

The beating continues for far too long on the floor before some stomps get two on the champ. The fans finally get the table they’ve been requesting all match and of course the announcers act like this is perfectly normal. Stevie on Booker: “I know this guy like a book. Do you know why?” Tony: “Because he’s your brother?” At least he didn’t say “because his name is Book.”

The running Awesome Bomb through a table doesn’t work so Awesome throws him through the table for two instead. You could hear the fans gasp at that kickout. Mike misses the Awesome Splash and gets caught in the sidewalk slam for two. The ax kick gets an even closer two but the Bookend retains the title.

Rating: B-. Best match they’ve had in weeks here and oddly enough the match that got more time than anything else. It’s so funny how that works. Awesome being more serious would only be a good thing for him as he’s more than talented enough to make it on his own without a gimmick. Anyway this was a fun match and I had a good time with it, completely unnecessary table spot aside.

We go to the back to Lanita Ericson, who looks like Pamela Paulshock crossed with the bad version of Madusa. She’s interviewing future MMA fighter/wrestler Bob Sapp, who has signed with WCW. Sapp was an NFL offensive lineman and decided to make a career change to wrestling. That should be a cakewalk but then he was taken down by a little guy named Sarge on his first day at the Power Plant.

Sapp plugs his upcoming boxing match/toughman contest with Refrigerator William Perry and I have no idea how this is supposed to make me want to keep watching. This new woman is HORRIBLE as well as she sounds like someone trying to get picked up at a bar. Terrible all around here and thankfully Sapp never wrestled for WCW.

Goldberg vs. Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Lex Luger

Actually hang on a minute as Kronik comes out before Goldberg and beat up the referee. Stevie: “This is all making sense now.” Tenay: “EXPLAIN IT THEN!”

After a break we see the Boogie Knights paying Kronik off. Dang Stevie was right. It did make sense earlier, assuming you paid attention.

Mayhem ad.

Let’s try this again.

Goldberg vs. Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Lex Luger

Goldberg fights them both off because this is one of those handicap matches called a triple threat in an attempt to make it more interesting. The villains are sent outside for a bit where they get things together, allowing them to take over inside. A beating on the floor keeps Goldberg in trouble but he easily powers out of Luger’s elbow drops. That’s enough for Luger as he walks out, leaving Goldberg to Jackhammer Bigelow for the pin.

Rating: D. The match has come and gone and I’m still not sure what it changed to make this a three way instead of just having the handicap match that it should have been. Goldberg winning was of course the obvious ending and it makes sense to have Bigelow take the pin but Goldberg vs. Luger is their big idea? That’s the best they’ve got? No wonder they are where they are right now.

Overall Rating: D+. Mayhem needs to get here already so we can wrap up some of these stories and get on to some fresh stuff. The midcard stuff has a few interesting ideas in there but they need to polish a lot of this show instead of just running it like they’ve been doing. The shows are passable enough but they need a few big changes to really make them good.

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