The FREAKING OW match.

This is the “let’s beat each other up really, really badly” match and no one wants it to be anything else. Lesnar is going to win and I don’t think that’s much of a secret, but sweet Repo Man on a pole this is going to be fun. It’s going to be straight out of the Punk vs. Lesnar playbook with Dean getting one false finish after another but taking the beating of a lifetime. As dominant as Lesnar is there’s always a way to slow him down (usually in the form of a low blow) and I’m sure Dean is going to find that.

As sure as I am that Brock wins, there’s always a need for Dean to win something. I know I’ve been saying it for a long time but there reaches a point where you can’t keep losing every big match you’re in. This is going to be a blast though and I don’t think it needs much more of an explanation than that. Just let two guys beat each other up for twenty minutes and everyone is going to be happy.

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In case you needed a match to throw in a bunch of midcarders to get them on the card.

Battle royals are really hard to predict. Like really hard to predict. However that’s not the case here as this should be one of the easiest battle royals to call in a long time. Simply put, there aren’t a lot of people who could win. Based on the currently listed entrants, the only major threats are going to be Big Show, Kane and……dang that’s really it isn’t it? You can almost bet the Wyatts will be involved so you can throw Strowman on there too, which is kind of necessary to avoid me going insane.

Of course there’s always the chance that someone could be added to the match as a big surprise (Cesaro is rumored) but unless they’re going to win the thing, save that for the next night on Raw. Barring a surprise winner, I think we’ll get Strowman here, even though Bray winning would make so much more sense. Even if Strowman clears the ring and then Bray orders him out ala Ted DiBiase or something, but Bray needs this way more than anyone else. I know he’s banged up but it’s a battle royal. He can work the whole match without taking any major bumps so just give it to him so he can actually win something for once.

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I can’t stand this match.

If anyone has been following my stuff recently, you know I can’t stand this story. I have yet to see any reason for this match to take place but we’re getting this disaster of a mess because it’s Wrestlemania and therefore we’re getting a seven man ladder match. We have seven guys in this thing and most of them have almost no reason to be in there.

This should be all about Zayn vs. Owens (and preferably without ladders) so I’m not even going to bother talking about the other five guys (Stardust, The Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Sin Cara and Zack Ryder in case you’re reading this in thirty years). They’re not going to win and I’m not going to pretend otherwise.

So yeah it’s all about those two but the question is who wins. I think they’re going with Owens, likely to set up something with Zayn one on one in a month. Owens winning doesn’t make sense in a regular match but him surviving in a big mess is straight out of AJ Lee surviving everyone at Wrestlemania XXX. It’s stupid but just go with it.

I’m sure there will be enough high spots for everyone and we’ll get people laying around for ten minutes after a bump they would get up from in five seconds otherwise but IT’S A BIG LADDER MATCH!!! That means it’s cool right? Or at least Stephanie thinks so because she gave it to us and knows everything that’s best for business. It’s not like there’s another match where you could throw people into the ring to get them on the card and have them do nothing. No instead let’s have a ladder match where no one gets to shine in a title match. Just get it over with already and move on from this illogical nonsense.

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Yeah this is something that is happening too.

Let’s get this one out of the way. Simply put, people don’t care about this stuff and there’s no real reason to. Most of these women either aren’t any good or they aren’t interesting enough to mean anything on the main roster. As is the case with any big cluster of a match like this, no one is going to get any time and it’s probably going to be about getting Eva over because that’s a thing that still exists.

I’ll take the Total Divas to win because that’s a thing that still exists as well. No one is going to get to show off much of anything here, but it’s a good sign that we seem to be getting an unofficial brand split in the women’s division. You have the title match with with actual wrestling and then the Divas doing this nonsense. I have little desire to watch this match, though to be fair I said the same thing about the fourteen Divas mess two years ago and that turned out to be somewhat fun. Nothing to see here though and everyone knows why this is happening.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Pick a Horsewoman.

Now this one could go multiple ways, and by that I mean Charlotte or Sasha walking out with the title. Becky is my current favorite Diva (hopefully this is the last night that term is used) but there’s no reason for her to win the title here. Charlotte and Sasha are flat out better than Becky and I really can’t imagine anything her getting the belt.

That brings us to the question of who wins and likely feuds with Bayley as she makes her main roster debut this coming Monday. If WWE is smart they’ll have the Horsewomen in the ring together on Raw and go from there, but I think I’ll go with Sasha getting the belt. It’s going to be a big reaction and an awesome moment, but more importantly it needs to be a great match.

The Divas Revolution has stumbled all over the place and a big reason for it is due to the way the matches have been booked. If WWE wants this to go somewhere they need to have it be an NXT style match instead of a WWE style match. In other words, DON’T HAVE THEM SPEND HALF THE MATCH IN A CHINLOCK. We know these three can go as hard as you want them to so let them show off their talents and pop the crowd instead of sending them off to the concession stands. This could be something special but more than that it could be something important.

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Uh…yay.

I really don’t want to see this match. I know it’s going to be good and I know the story is good enough but ever since this was put together I’ve felt like it’s nothing I want to see. The Usos are long past their point of being interesting (though they’re still very talented) as their characters really hit a wall, which wasn’t the biggest surprise in the world. The tables stuff has stopped being worth anything either so the whole thing isn’t doing much for me. At least it’s on the pre-show though so it won’t get that much time.

The Usos are going to go over here and much like Jericho vs. Styles, there isn’t much of a reason to think otherwise. The Dudleyz can do whatever they want and are going to stay over so there’s no need to give them a win on this level. I’m sure it’s going to be an entertaining match but it’s really just not something I want to see. That Uso splash looks really cool in person though and the dives will help carry it to entertaining though.

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Or big vs. small.

Much like Jericho vs. Styles, this has been a very simply told story and there’s nothing wrong with that. It really seems like Kalisto beating Ryback in the World Title tournament (Yeah remember that?) in November was planting seeds for this (ok so that’s probably giving WWE way too much credit) and the story has come together really well. I’m digging the heck out of Ryback’s heel character but Kalisto has so much potential.

I think we’re getting a new champion here with Ryback needing to get something to get him back on track. Now I don’t buy for a second that WWE is going to stick with that and Ryback will wind up right back in the midcard purgatory that he’s been in for years but I think they go with him here and that’s probably the best thing for everyone around. Kalisto can come back and do something later but it would be much more damaging to Ryback to have him lose here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And something I don’t understand.

For reasons that I absolutely cannot fathom, this seems to have been changed to just a match instead of a title match. The only possible reason for this would be the League going over and since that might be the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard, it’s probably what we’re going to be seeing.

New Day is on such a roll right now that they deserve a major win on a major stage to continue their long title reign. The League is in the midcard spot that they belonged in and were destined to reach as soon as they formed. There was no reason to turn this into a title match and then make it a regular match but somehow that seems to be where we are. Oh and how amazing is New Day’s entrance going to be? Just think about that for a second. New Day’s entrance at Wrestlemania in front of 100,000 people. How is that not going to be one of the coolest things ever?

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Part 4.

Now this one kind of confuses me as there’s really no reason to have them fight three times before this match. I get the idea they’re going for but they could have done the same story after Styles beat Jericho once instead of a best of three. It’s not the best story but the build has been, for lack of a better term, phenomenal. Having Jericho whisper those AJ STYLES chants gave me chills and the story is better every time I think about it. Above all else, this story is simple and you could follow it step by step along the way. It’s a bit like Bret vs. Owen from 1994 and that’s a high compliment.

I’ll go with AJ winning for what should be obvious reasons. As is the case with every major Jericho match, there’s no reason for him to win and I can’t imagine WWE or Jericho in general for that matter is going to think otherwise. Styles wins here and moves on to something else, hopefully involving a title. Jericho can feud with whomever he wants and give them a good rub, despite the fact that he loses here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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We have arrived. This is the biggest night of the year and is going to be one of the biggest shows of all time. I know the card isn’t the strongest in the world but the atmosphere and crowd size alone are going to carry this several levels further. This is the night of the year that we all wait for and it’s our Super Bowl. Wrestlemania is something special and there’s always something great on the show. I know a lot of people aren’t happy with what we’re getting this year but I can almost promise you that you’ll enjoy something. Take off the smart glasses this year and just enjoy the spectacle that this show is going to be.