http://411mania.com/wrestling/tna-releases-awesome-kong/
No surprise there after the Reby Sky issue. Maybe, just maybe, this might open a door for TNA to make Gail Kim the featured Knockout. I mean, it’s been a full hour since we’ve heard about how AMAZING she really is.
Louis and LeFort have barely been used for months and Dempsey was little more than a comedy jobber. It’s strange to see people leaving NXT though as they rarely release anyone.
Smackdown
Date: February 4, 2016
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton
Monday really didn’t offer us much to see this week as the main event didn’t change a lot. The big story continues to be Brock Lesnar, who isn’t likely to show up on this show. Other than that we’ve got Miz vs. AJ Styles scheduled for tonight which could be good if Miz is allowed to control for a bit. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Roman Reigns vs. Rusev
Yes again. An early Del Rio distraction sends things to the floor and Reigns is sent into the steps. Back in and Rusev drives in some ax handles to the back but he misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post. The corner clotheslines look to set up the Superman Punch but the League comes in for the DQ at 2:59.
Ambrose runs out for the save but takes Reigns out by mistake. The League beats Ambrose down but Reigns makes the save to set up the obvious tag main event.
Post break Ambrose says he got a bit too reved up out there but Reigns is still his brother because that was an accident. Reigns will know when he comes after him.
Kalisto vs. Kevin Owens
Non-title with Ziggler on commentary so you know what’s coming. Owens stomps him down in the corner as Lawler calls Kalisto a Mexican mosquito. Kalisto kicks Owens to the floor for a flip dive but gets thrown with a release German suplex as we take a break. Back with Owens getting two off the running backsplash but Kalisto kicks him in the head to start his comeback.
The corkscrew cross body sets up the hurricanrana driver for two but Owens sends him out to the floor. That’s fine with Owens as he drops Kalisto onto the barricade. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table for a powerbomb but Owens throws Kalisto onto Ziggler instead. Dolph takes a superkick for a bonus before Owens throws Kalisto inside….where he’s rolled up to give Kalisto the pin at 8:44.
Rating: C. OH COME ON ALREADY! Yeah it’s good that Kalisto gets the win over a name like Owens, but this is the perfect place for a countout or a DQ (like for throwing Kalisto AT ANOTHER PERSON) to let the champ win but not pinning Owens AGAIN. And this is to set up Owens beating Dolph Ziggler on pay per view, even though Ziggler admitted on commentary that Owens has beaten him like fifteen times already. Such brilliant thinking WWE. I’m proud of you.
We recap MizTV from Monday with AJ Styles beating him down.
Miz interrupts JoJo to tell him that he’d never interrupt anyone. We continue the Daniel Bryan/AJ Styles comparisons which really aren’t the biggest stretches in the world.
Ryback vs. Erick Rowan
Ryback is in standard black trunks now, which make him look a bit more serious. Or like an old school Brock Lesnar. Still no Bray due to his grandfather’s health issues. Ryback starts with right hands in the corner (standard opening) before a cross body sets up even more right hands. Rowan hammers him down with forearms to the back and the head vice. That’s fine with Ryback as he pops up (Since it’s two fists on the side of his head. And it’s Erick Rowan.) and hits his middle rope dropkick. Rowan is sent into Strowman and the Meathook gives Ryback the pin at 2:59. They aren’t exactly piling up the time tonight.
Ryback bails before the post match beatdown can ensue.
Becky Lynch is talking about saving Sasha Banks when Sasha comes in and yells about making the save. Becky brings up the cheap shot at the Royal Rumble and they agree to fight together until either of them can face Charlotte. Renee is confused but neither of them seem to know what happened either.
AJ Styles vs. The Miz
Jericho is on commentary. AJ starts with a nice dropkick so Miz bails into the corner like the coward he’s supposed to be. It’s out to the floor but AJ slingshots into the forearm (that’s a new one) to take over again. AJ gets pulled face first into the apron to take over though as Lawler starts going heel against AJ as well. Back in and Miz chokes on the ropes before cranking on both arms. There’s a boot to AJ’s face and a second to AJ’s seated face.
AJ fights up and it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down as we take a break. Back with AJ’s fireman’s carry into a backbreaker getting two but Miz’s short DDT gets the same. The Styles Clash is broken up as well, only to have AJ score with the springboard forearm, followed by the Calf Crusher (better than the Calf Killer) for the submission at 11:22.
Rating: C+. As usual Miz is underrated in the ring. I know he’s not exactly the best in the world and he really didn’t need to be in the main event of Wrestlemania (though it made sense at the time), but he’s someone that you can throw out there and have him look good for a few minutes before taking a fall that does nothing to hurt his career or his heat. That’s a very valuable asset to have on the roster and he was able to give AJ a nice little rub here too.
Post match Jericho gets in the ring and says he knows AJ is good but wants to see how good he really is. Therefore, there’s going to be a rematch next week.
Roman isn’t worried about what happened earlier with Ambrose because they’re always in the same book even if they’re not on the same page.
Here’s New Day for a chat. After a quick plug for Ride Along, it’s time to brag about having some gold. It’s what separates them from the masses of title-less caterpillars. This gold isn’t like a participation trophies that Little Leaguers get for showing up. We get the NEW DAY ROCKS dance but here are the Social Outcasts for their scheduled match. There’s no Bo because he’s still recording for his gold album, which is of course gold, unlike the bronze titles. After a discussion of whether New Day are rhinos or unicorns, it’s time for a six man.
New Day vs. Social Outcasts
So the Outcasts are faces now? A brawl starts and we take a break 23 seconds in. Back with Slater dropkicking Kofi before it’s off to Rose for an uppercut. That’s about it for the Outcasts’ offense though as it’s off to Big E. for a standing splash and the Unicorn Stampede. Woods’ bottom rope tornado DDT gets two but Rose counters the flipping clothesline with a nice spinebuster.
The hot tag brings in Axel for a really solid sequence of missed shots with Kofi, capped off by a running knee to Kofi’s head. Everything breaks down and Trouble in Paradise drops Rose. Axel rolls Kofi up for two with his feet on the ropes, only to have Kofi do the same thing for the pin on Curtis at 7:30.
Rating: C-. Axel really surprised me here and looked strong in that sequence with Kingston. The Outcasts are a good choice to have an underdog push as it’s not like they’re doing anything else. Let them get some mic time and show off a bit, even if they never really go anywhere. A fluke win here and there isn’t going to hut anyone, though they certainly shouldn’t have gone over here.
Charlotte vs. Alicia Fox
Non-title. Fox throws her down to start but gets spun around in the corner and taken down with a neckbreaker. Alicia’s sunset flip out of the corner doesn’t get her anywhere and it’s off to the Figure Four Necklock for a few seconds. Back up and a double big boot puts both of them down. That’s enough for Charlotte as she chop blocks Fox and slaps on the Figure Eight for the win at 3:58.
Rating: D+. Fox is athletic but she’s the designated jobber of Team Bella. You know, because Brie Bella, who gets one win every few months, deserves to have a team named after her. I still have no idea why Charlotte had to get pinned by Brie to set this up when it could have been done by building up her character instead.
This week’s R-Truth/Goldust segment takes place at a hotel with Goldust as a bellhop. Truth’s suitcase is cracked open and Goldust admires his underwear.
Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio/Rusev
So Del Rio’s back seems to be ok. Ambrose headlocks Rusev to start before it’s quickly off to Reigns. They slug it out with Roman getting the better of it (of course), only to charge into a swinging kick to the head for two. Del Rio comes in and slaps on a chinlock before it’s back to Rusev for a suplex. The League poses at ringside but it actually doesn’t take us to a commercial.
Instead Reigns Samoan Drops Rusev and reaches over for the tag off to Ambrose. Everything breaks down and Dean dives onto Rusev, followed by the rebound lariat. Another hot tag brings Reigns and the Superman Punch gets two on Rusev with Del Rio breaking up the cover. Dean’s suicide dive almost hits Reigns but he pulls up just in time. That earns Rusev a second Superman Punch, followed by the spear for the pin at 7:48.
Rating: C. Well that happened. As was the case on Monday, no one seems to be a real challenge for Reigns and Ambrose but at least they didn’t pin any champions here. The League continues to be a team that just floats around and does nothing interesting because they have no real feuds save for Del Rio vs. Kalisto. Nothing to see here, especially with a lack of drama between the winners.
Reigns and Ambrose are fine to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. Another week with another nothing show that could easily be skipped. They were getting somewhere with the Reigns vs. Ambrose tease but you know that’s going to end a Raw somewhere instead of being used on a random Smackdown. It’s cool that we’re getting Styles vs. Jericho II next week but that still seems to be little more than a way to set up a pay per view match. As usual it’s watchable but nothing worth seeing.
Results
Roman Reigns b. Rusev via DQ when the League of Nations interfered
Kalisto b. Kevin Owens – Rollup
Ryback b. Erick Rowan – Meathook
AJ Styles b. The Miz – Calf Killer
New Day b. Social Outcasts – Rollup with feet on the ropes
Charlotte b. Alicia Fox – Figure Eight
Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Rusev/Alberto Del Rio – Spear to Rusev
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Ring of Honor
Date: February 3, 2016
Location: Cabarrus Arena and Events Center, Concord, North Carolina
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Mr. Wrestling 3
We’re rapidly approaching the 14th Anniversary Show but we’re a few weeks back in the syndication run. The big story coming out of last week was Michael Elgin offering to bring in Hiroshi Tanahashi to team with him against the Briscoes in a dream match, though I’m not sure how many people were dreaming of it. Let’s get to it.
TV Title: Roderick Strong vs. Masada
Strong is defending and Masada is a death match guy. They go to the mat to start with Masada grabbing a knee bar to send the champ bailing into the ropes. Back up and they chop it out to take it outside with Masada taking over. That actually doesn’t last long as Masada sends him back inside for a knee to the face and a backbreaker onto the apron as we take a break.
Back with Masada chopping away but Strong slips out (or might have been dropped) of a powerbomb. Instead Masada grabs a Death Valley Driver for two but Strong starts cranking things up with another running knee and a belly to back for two of his own. Masada pulls out some weapon but gets it knocked away, meaning he has to settle for a powerbomb instead. That means it’s time for some bamboo but Strong is a wrestler so he hits his third knee to the head to retain at 8:16.
Rating: D+. Masada had some better moments in there than I was expecting but Strong was getting repetitive in there with the knees to the head. Like, throw a dropkick or something dude. I really don’t see why Strong had to turn heel in the first place as he’s lost some of his steam since the turn and isn’t as entertaining as he was before.
Post match here’s Bobby Fish to say he better move to another planet if Strong wants to be the best wrestler in the world. Apparently Roddy vs. the World is about Strong defending the title against anyone not named Bobby Fish. Strong things Bobby is having issues dealing with his age catching up with him but Bobby offers to go to war whenever the champ wants.
We look back at Elgin’s challenge to the Briscoes from last week.
Top Prospect Tournament First Round: Colby Corino vs. Punisher Martinez
Martinez is a good sized guy who towers over Corino. Colby tries some quick strikes and gets his head taken off with a clothesline. Some hard throws send Colby into the corner and an over the shoulder backbreaker gets two. A Liger Kick staggers Punisher and a middle rope Diamond Cutter gets two on the big man and a flip dive to the floor drops Martinez again. The fans are getting behind Corino here but Punisher gives him a Last Ride onto the apron for a SICK crash. Back in and a sitout chokeslam advances Punisher at 3:28.
Rating: C. Martinez looked good here and could have a future in this place. Colby is a good choice for a ragdoll and ROH is the kind of place that could go somewhere as size doesn’t mean as much around here. Nothing to see here but that Last Ride bump looked great and made up for some of the other stuff.
Post match BJ Whitmer gets in the ring to tell Colby that he did well but now it’s time for Steve Corino to take off that mask. Steve Corino is the man who spent Christmas with his new family while Colby was with Whitmer over the holidays. Wrestling 3 denies it again so Whitmer grabs Colby by the throat and yells at him for calling his father on Christmas. Colby is forgiven for that, but not for the sins of his father, meaning it’s time for another beating. Whitmer throws Colby in front of Wrestling 3 and tells the masked man that he’s proven what BJ has been saying.
We look back at the announcement of the #1 contenders match from last week.
Nigel McGuinness has replaced Mr. Wrestling 3 on commentary as the masked man helped Colby to the back.
ReDRagon vs. Adam Cole/Jay Lethal
Adam won’t come in for the pre-match handshake so it’s Lethal vs. Kyle to get things going. Cole actually offers to tag in but tags right back out after a quick circle of the ring. We get a standoff until Lethal grabs a headlock, only to get countered into a cross armbreaker. Lethal is too close to the ropes but it’s off to Fish to keep the champ in trouble. The announcers talk about the incoming New Japan guys as Kyle stays on the arm.
Cole finally comes in to face Fish but freaks out when Kyle is about to be tagged in. Lethal gets Fish to the floor and whips him into the barricade before the tag can bring in O’Reilly though, allowing the heels to take over. We take a break and come back with Lethal dropkicking Fish in the back of the head to set up some posing. Cole comes in and eats a clothesline, allowing the tag off to Kyle as things speed up again.
It’s back to Lethal who gets caught in another cross armbreaker as everything breaks down. Cole and Fish go to the floor so it’s time for Lethal and O’Reilly to trade their forearms, because that’s how you fight in ROH. Chasing the Dragon is broken up and the Lethal Combination sets up a Shining Wizard on Kyle for two. We take another break and come back with Lethal dropping a top rope elbow on Fish but getting caught in a dragon screw legwhip.
We finally get the showdown of Cole vs. O’Reilly, meaning it’s time to grab each other by the head and fire off forearms. Kyle, who can barely stand up, no sells a German Suplex and keeps hammering away, though he’s nice enough to sell a superkick. Lethal comes back in and kicks Kyle in the head but gives Cole the Lethal Injection by mistake. Chasing the Dragon puts Adam away at 16:55.
Rating: B. Nice long tag match here with the right ending as I can’t stand it when a makeshift team who doesn’t even like each other beats one of the best teams the company has ever seen. I’m still not wild on ReDRagon as singles guys but they’re a very entertaining tag team who work well together.
Overall Rating: C+. The main event more than carried this show, as is almost always the case with the tag division. The rest of the show worked more than well enough though with Corino vs. Whitmer shaping up quite well, even though I’m not sure how strong of a match it’s eventually going to be. I’m liking this show far better than I was expecting to and it’s really found its niche in recent months.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Looking at how stupid a lot of Raw’s booking really was.
http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-well-they-sure-need-somebody/49212/
NXT
Date: February 3, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
It’s a big week here on NXT as we have a non-title match between NXT Champion Finn Balor and Apollo Crews, who had a shot at the title late last year which was interrupted with the match pretty much even. In addition to that we should be getting some updates on the ending to last week’s triple threat match which ended in a double submission. Let’s get to it.
We open with a quick preview of Crews vs. Balor.
Opening sequence.
Vaudevillains vs. Hype Bros
The Bros have quite the long entrance with smoke coming down from the ceiling while they pose on the buckles. Mojo rolls English up for two to start as Corey talks about Alf. It’s off to Ryder for a running seated Blockbuster (think a Hennig Necksnap from the other way) but Gotch grabs Zack’s feet to take over.
Simon comes in legally to put on a chinlock as the announcers try to figure out when the Vaudevillains fell off track, which sounds like code for starting their heel turn. Ryder kicks both villains away and makes the tag off to Mojo so Graves can make Ghostbusters jokes due to the bright green gear. Everything breaks down and Ryder misses the Broski Boot, setting up the Whirling Dervish to pin Zack at 4:16.
Rating: C. Totally fine match here though I’m really not sure about either of these teams going anywhere. The Bros are going to stay over no matter what they do based on their incredible energy alone so let them have a few wins here and there to give them a bit of credibility. The Vaudevillains on the other hand……I’m not sure how much further they’re really going to go.
We look back at Carmella winning the battle royal to become #1 contender a few weeks back.
It’s time for a sitdown interview with Carmella where she talks about her dad being a wrestler in the 90s (albeit a jobber) who taught her a bunch of submission grappling. Carmella can’t wait for her title shot next week because she and Bayley are going to be friends no matter what. Tonight she’s going to prove how she deserves to be champion when she defeats Emma. This was a VERY toned down Carmella and showed a completely different side of her which worked better than I was expecting.
Scott Dawson and Dash Wilder are tired of hearing the same things from Enzo Amore and Colin Cassady because they’ve demanded shot after shot. Not that it matters because they’re never going to win any of them since they’re just not that good. They’re fine with giving them one more shot because it’s not going to work.
Carmella vs. Emma
They trade headlocks to start until Emma takes her down and pounds in right hands. A twisting wristlock keeps Carmella on the mat and Emma pulls on both arms at the same time. Carmella fights up but gets pulled down by the hair in a hurry. Emma loads up a butterfly suplex but gets countered into a backslide of all things for the pin at 4:16.
Rating: D+. Well it wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world but it did exactly what it was designed to do. Carmella gets a clean win over someone with some credibility around here, which is really necessary with just a week to go before the title shot against Bayley next week. It’s probably just a one off match so do what you can in the limited time you have.
We look at the end of last week’s triple threat.
Sami Zayn has looked at the video multiple times and thinks he should win because he had the Sharpshooter on longer. He has faith in the outcome.
Joe has nothing to say.
Video on American Alpha.
Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady vs. ???/???
Before the match, Enzo reiterates that if he and Cass had a dime for every time they were knocked down and didn’t get back up, they would have zero dimes. They are hard bodies and there’s only ONE WORD to describe people who try to knock them down. Enzo easily takes Jobber #1 down to start and does a little dance before scoring off a big knee lift. Cass comes in and throws his partner into Jobber #1 as the announcers have no idea what to call these guys. #2 is LAUNCHED to the floor and the Rocket Launcher ends this in a hurry at 2:14.
Apollo Crews says he gets to prove himself tonight after having that taken away in his first shot at Finn Balor.
William Regal has made his decision on the #1 contendership but Baron Corbin comes into his office to interrupt. There will be a rematch but Corbin isn’t going to be involved. Instead, it’s going to be Zayn vs. Joe for the title shot at some point in the future.
Asuka vs. Santana Garrett
Garrett is quickly sent into the ropes for the running hip attack, followed by a HARD shot to the face. Asuka misses a running knee to the face though and gets rolled up for two. Something like a leapfrog into a cross armbreaker has Garrett in trouble and the Asuka Lock is good for the submission at 2:26.
Finn Balor is looking forward to seeing Zayn vs. Joe but tonight he’s going to prove to Crews that he may be good but he’s not the best.
Apollo Crews vs. Finn Balor
Non-title and non-Demon for Balor. They shake hands to start and Balor starts cranking on an armbar. A headlock keeps Crews in trouble and they’re certainly taking their time here. Crews is stuck in the hold for a full minute but he does keep making Finn work with some rollups. Apollo nips up and scores with a dropkick, which seems to make the announcers think everything is even.
We take a break and come back with Balor caught in a chinlock. Finn rolls through a sunset flip to dropkick a seated Crews before going back to the armbar. Crews gets up one more time for another escape and the champ is getting frustrated. It’s very short lived though as Balor takes him right back down into another armbar as the slow pace continues. Another counter is broken up so Finn knocks him to the floor for a BIG flip dive.
A top rope double stomp to the back (not the Coup de Grace) gets two on Crews and now the shock is setting in. Crews throws him into the air for two off a big Samoan Drop, only to get caught in a Sling Blade. That’s fine with Crews who blocks the basement dropkick and gets two more off the gorilla press/standing moonsault. Balor kicks him in the head and scores with a second Sling Blade, followed by the Coup de Grace for no cover. Instead it’s the Bloody Sunday (not named) for the pin at 15:03.
Rating: B-. This was an interesting one with a nice story of Balor controlling because he’s just flat out better but Crews getting back into things when the match was wrestled in his style. Balor winning in the end with the bigger finisher worked, though the announcers and crowd really didn’t seem to get as into this as they were shooting for. Balor certainly has the stuff but Crews hasn’t really shown that he can do anything more than be athletic.
Balor helps him to his feet post match and they shake hands again. The announcers confirm that it’s Zayn vs. Joe in two weeks to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. As usual, they’re building up the big TV shows (taped in a bigger arena to make things feel more special) by using every bit of the TV time they have. Not only are they setting up stuff for the coming weeks, they’re also planting seeds for what’s coming at Takeover in Dallas. Watching this show is like watching your kid succeed in school and doing everything you want them to do. It’s such a nice feeling and they never let me down.
Results
Vaudevillains b. Hype Bros – Whirling Dervish to Ryder
Carmella b. Emma – Backslide
Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady b. ???/??? – Rocket Launcher
Asuka b. Santana Garrett – Asuka Lock
Finn Balor b. Apollo Crews – Bloody Sunday
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Monday Nitro #257
Date: September 11, 2000
Location: Independence Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone, Jeremy Borash
It’s the go home show for Fall Brawl and we’re now back to the build for the pay per view after last week’s stand alone WarGames (in name only) show. Unfortunately that leaves the whole card starting from a dead end as last week had nothing to do with Booker vs. Nash or Steiner vs. Goldberg. Instead, we have a big story of David Flair marrying Miss Hancock and a possible Ric Flair appearance in another stand alone story. Let’s get to it.
David arrived earlier and Crowbar, Ozzy and Daffney greeted him to bury the hatchet. No sign of Ric though.
Jeff Jarrett thinks he should offer some entertainment for the wedding.
Opening sequence.
The arena lighting seems dark, probably to hide a low attendance.
Tag Team Titles: Filthy Animals vs. Kronik
Rey and Juvy are defending. Before the match, Disqo runs his mouth and ticks Kronik off even more after the Animals were laid out on Thunder. It’s a brawl to start as Konnan talks about throwing Rey in quicksand. We settle down to Adams pounding Juvy in the corner and hitting a quick F5, though the landing looked more like a DDT. Rey gets a blind tag and the Animals actually double suplex Adams. That’s quite the surprise but you can only be so shocked when Konnan is talking about no selling and taking bumps.
Clark comes in and plants Juvy with a full nelson slam but Adams gives Rey an even bigger one. Cue the Harris Twins (of course) for a distraction, allowing Disqo to hit Clark with a chair and give him the Last Dance on the floor. Back in and Juvy’s 450 (he hit the mat first) only gets two. Instead it’s the What’s Up with the legdrop (named the Nutcracker) retains the titles.
Rating: C. Such is life in WCW. I was actually starting to get into this until the Twins came in to screw things up. It’s interference to set up a match that isn’t interesting and most people don’t want to see, but for some reason we’re getting the Harris Twins in the top spot instead of ANYONE else. Also, what was up with wasting the 450 near the end?
Stacy Keibler arrives.
Recap of WarGames, complete with the line of “it’s another Russo swerve!”
Tony promises an update on Vince Russo, who has suffered his third concussion in three months. I understand that concussions are bad, but I’m having issues feeling sorry for Russo when he keeps injecting himself into these big matches. He’s getting all the glory in the matches and that comes with the damage. It’s almost like someone of average size shouldn’t be getting destroyed by people the size of pro wrestlers. Apparently Russo has had to have brain surgery. Tony: “Tonight: a wedding and brain surgery.”
Here’s the Cat to say he’s in charge because Russo’s injunction was thrown out of court. Therefore, Booker vs. Nash on Sunday is now in a cage. As for tonight though, Nash is defending the title against Scott Steiner. That leaves Jeff Jarrett, who Miss Jones wants to fight. Jarrett comes out and promises to win and prove that men are superior to women. He’s even willing to wrestle handcuffed. Cat and Jeff start fighting until Steiner comes out to put Cat in the Recliner.
Booker and Sting (without paint) arrive and don’t seem worried that Steiner and Jarrett are taking over.
Big Vito vs. Reno
Stick ball bat on a pole, which is how things go in the neighborhood apparently. It must be one of the slums of Parts Unknown. Palumbo is here with Reno. Vito starts fast with a Japanese armdrag but has to go after Palumbo. A quick suplex drops Reno but the referee gets bumped. Vito grabs the stick, only to have Reno lay him out with the Roll of the Dice for no count. Cue the returning Johnny the Bull to help stand off with the Thrillers, only to turn on Vito (a full THIRTY SECONDS after coming out to defend him), giving Reno the pin.
The rest of the Thrillers come in to beat Vito down. I can’t get over the fact that this is supposed to be a swerve. It really was just thirty seconds.
Cat yells at Booker and Sting for being late but they leave together.
Steiner/Jarrett/Nash say they’re in charge tonight. Booker/Sting/Cat come in with the latter saying he’s in charge.
Madusa says she doesn’t like the women around here even though she trained them. Therefore, tonight she gets to beat up Torrie Wilson.
Torrie Wilson vs. Madusa
The announcers talk about the history of scaffold matches and we actually get a Jim Cornette reference. Madden: “Cornette fell off the scaffold and ended his career. He just doesn’t know it yet.” Madusa beats on her for about twenty seconds before Shane comes in for the DQ.
Post match Shane puts Madusa in an STF (of course) until Kidman comes in for the save. Yeah these two are feuding in case you forgot. Madusa adds herself and Torrie to make it a tag team scaffold match on Sunday. Did they really forget the lessons from Great American Bash 1991?
Crowbar helps David get ready.
Jimmy Hart hands Miss Hancock an envelope.
Mike Awesome shows up in That 70s Bus.
Nash suggests that Steiner lay down for him tonight.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Miss Jones
Apparently Goldberg is going to be enforcer in the World Title match. Jarrett rants about “broads” thinking they can compete with men in this ring. Remember Jeff is going to wrestle handcuffed. Tony: “That means he can’t use the Stroke or the guitar.” Yeah the guitar is illegal here, meaning it’s legal otherwise. Cat gets in a few cheap shots before the bell and Jones hammers away, only to kick the referee low by mistake. Jeff kicks her in the ribs to break up a guitar shot before knocking her out with it for the pin.
See, if they actually wanted to go with something interesting here, have the trained wrestler Madusa fight Jarrett in what could be an entertaining match. Instead, we get another woman getting beaten up with little to no defense.
Anyway post match, Awesome comes out to beat up the still handcuffed Jarrett.
Nash is drawing his plan on a dry erase board. After some jokes about anatomy, Steiner thinks he should win and throws a marker. Just have them SWERVE us already so they can laugh.
Post break, Jarrett is annoyed at Nash for not coming down to help him (Nash and Steiner had said they were turning off the monitor so it’s not a huge issue). Jarrett tells Nash to deal with their stupid friend.
Here’s Jim Duggan with something to say. Duggan is so thankful to have gotten through cancer and is glad to be back here with the fans. However, in the last few weeks, he’s been realizing that he can’t beat Father Time. He’s been around for twenty years and unlike some people, he’s fine with stepping aside so the young talent can make wrestling into something we can all be proud of.
Duggan announces his retirement before talking about how he needs someone to take up the 2×4 and the American flag. That man is General Rection and there goes the idea. Rection comes out and shakes Duggan’s hand but here are Lance Storm and Major Gunns (now in a Maple Leaf top and white shorts) with the former saying no one cares about this. A non-title match is set up and we’re on.
Lance Storm vs. General Rection
Storm stomps him down to start as Duggan jumps in on commentary to say “come on Hugh.” A suplex brings Rection over the ropes for two but he powerbombs Storm out of the air for two. No Laughing Matter misses and the Maple Leaf goes on but Duggan points out the arm under the ropes. Duggan gets knocked off the apron so he hits Storm with the 2×4, right into a powerslam for the pin. Well at least Duggan didn’t turn on America. That would have been ridiculous.
Stacy opens the letter she got earlier and freaks out.
It’s time for the wedding with the bride and groom down to the ring in a hurry. Naturally we get a promo with David talking about how he’s let a lot of people down. That means he’d like Arn Anderson to come out here right now. Anderson says it might not be today and it might not be tomorrow, but his 21 year old buddies are going to call him and ask him to do something. It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission.
Also hide some of that wedding money because one day you’re going to come home late and she’s going to get mad, but then she’ll tell you to go get a good night’s sleep. When that happens, take that money and RUN. That’s all the advise from Arn, which is a shame because that was hilarious.
David isn’t done yet though as he wants someone special down here as his best man: his dad, Ric Flair. Cue a smiling Ric, now with hair again (though it’s a bit spiky now instead of the classic style). Ric says he’s a proud father tonight and he can’t wait to have this beautiful woman as part of his family in the greatest city in the world. No drama here so it’s time for the wedding.
As the minister goes on, here are a bunch of security guards and cops to arrest Ric. Apparently Vince Russo has taken out a restraining order against him and Ric has to be arrested for coming within 100 feet of this building. Ric is arrested and taken away, sending Stacy running out of the ring. So in other words, even when he’s not here, HAHA MANLY RUSSO WINS!
After a break, Ric is put in a cop car and driven away. Arn promises to bail him out as soon as possible.
The announcers talk and you can see that the entire section off the floor behind the desk is empty. The whole arena only holds 9,600 people and assuming they have most of the fans on one side of the arena, they MIGHT have 2,000 people there.
We see some of Russo’s beatings and now it’s time for the video of his brain surgery. It’s accompanied by a doctor talking about how hard this has been on Russo and how he’ll be out for a long time. You know, because we need to feel sorry for our top heel. Tony doesn’t buy the story so maybe it’s not as stupid as it seems.
Sting vs. Harris Brothers
If Cat is in charge tonight, why did he book Sting like this? The Brothers have chains for whatever reason but Sting hits the Splash and gets Don in the Deathlock in about a minute. Ron makes the save so here’s Kronik with chains of their own to choke out the twins. The beating goes on for a long time and Sting is put on top for the pin. What was the point here? Sting has a match on Sunday but other than a quick mention, this was all about Kronik and the Brothers.
Steiner yells at Jarrett.
Stacy is still freaking out when David comes in. He doesn’t care about anything that happened tonight because he just wants to marry her. Stacy says no but he talks her into it.
It’s time for another try at the wedding with the minister talking about trust. That’s too much for Stacy because, shock and awe, David isn’t the father of the baby. David freaks and Stacy runs off. The announcers find this funny for some reason.
Post break, Stacy jumps in a limo and David can’t get there. We pan over to Awesome escorting Pamela onto the bus until Jarrett lays him out. The Thrillers come in to keep up the beating.
Steiner yells about his freaks and the Earth rotating on a 47 degree axis. He’ll beat on Goldberg too.
The announcers talk again and fans have been moved in to fill in the gap. I’m stunned that the production staff actually pays attention. Or that they exist for that matter.
WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner
Nash is defending, Cat is on commentary, Booker T. is guest referee and Goldberg is enforcer. Before the match, Booker promises to get the title back on Sunday. Steiner (still with a protective mask on) isn’t interested in the fingerpoke so Nash tries to leave. That’s not cool with Scott so they actually start fighting. Nash takes over to start until Steiner scores with a clothesline and the bicep elbow. Booker counts slowly and it’s time to beat up the referee. Goldberg comes in and I’m assuming the match is thrown out somewhere in there.
Another referee tries to come in but gets sent to the floor as Steiner suplexes Goldberg. Booker is down on the floor and Cat stays on commentary as the good guys are beaten down. Cat finally takes a chair away from Steiner, allowing Goldberg to start his comeback. It’s Booker beating on Nash as it’s clear that a tag match would have been a decent idea here.
The other referee is circling this stuff like it’s a match for whatever reason….and here’s That 70s Bus down the aisle. The Thrillers come out and start brawling as well, followed by Jarrett with a pipe. Booker gets powerbombed and thrown through the windshield. Now it’s Goldberg being handcuffed to the front of the bus but he breaks the grill off as we go off the air.
Overall Rating: F. I know I say this a lot but what a mess this was. Sunday’s two big matches were set up a bit but there was just so much other stuff going on that there’s no way to get behind the show. The ending was a disaster and just another part of all the messiness that bogged the show down. The longest match was about four minutes (the opener) and the rest of the show was a combination of men beating on women, the double wedding and short angles disguised as matches.
I really don’t have an interest in Sunday’s show and so much of that is because I can barely remember most of the card. As usual, one of the major problems of this kind of booking is trying to keep track of why something happened. Why are Goldberg and Steiner fighting? I’m not entirely sure, though I’m sure it was some swerve that came a few weeks ago. The swerves kind of run together after awhile, especially when you can see them coming so far away. Russo really doesn’t have a ton of ideas and once you get a handle on him, any magic he might have goes away in a hurry. Really bad show this week but that’s to be expected.
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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 2, 2016
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
We’re wrapping up the Bethlehem tapings here and the big story is Matt Hardy allowing his brother Jeff to be put out of action thanks to a piledriver through a table at the hands of Eric Young. We’ll also be hearing from Ethan Carter III for the first time since he lost the title as well as Tyrus. Let’s get to it.
Ethan tells the camera crew to be at a specific place at 4pm for their interview.
Here are Matt Hardy and company to open things up. Matt talks about working with people you hate and says it was karma that sent Jeff through that table. How dare Jeff accuse Matt of tarnishing the World Title? Reby and Matt never believed that Matt wasn’t living in Jeff’s shadow but it was Jeff’ jealousy that caused his injury. This brings out Eric Young and Bram with the former shouting about how he took out Jeff and now the World Title goes through him.
Now it’s Kurt Angle coming out to get straight to the point: he gets Hardy tonight for the title. A brawl is teased but here’s Beer Money to back Angle up. Cue Abyss/Crazzy Steve/the Wolves for a big brawl with the good guys clearing the ring. Roode announces a four on four hardcore fight. Why hardcore? No reason given, but that’s the case with almost everything in the TNA main event scene.
I don’t even know what to say about these things anymore. Matt Hardy is just out there no matter what anyone thinks of him, we’re clearly just waiting around on Jeff Hardy because he’s THE STAR and someone we all care about and Eric Young is just there because he’s Eric Young and is in the main event scene because of whatever residual fallout there is from that Daniel Bryan run nearly two years ago. I have no interest in any of these people but this is what we’re getting because TNA has decided that Matt Hardy and Eric Young are stars because they’ve been around for a long time and TNA cannot make new talent.
We recap the Feast or Fired reveals from last week, including Bennett and Maria’s interruption.
Drew feels like he’s won the lottery. Tyrus comes up and tells him to walk away with the briefcase because it’s a target on his chest. That sounds like a challenge.
Lashley vs. Aiden O’Shea
O’Shea pounds him down to start and here’s that woman from a few weeks ago, now known as Raquel. How the announcers know that isn’t clear but I’m sure I’m an idiot internet fan for wondering about that. A clothesline puts Aiden on the floor but Lashley goes over to ask Raquel who she is. Back in and Aiden’s chinlock doesn’t do much as Lashley hits a quick spear for the pin at 4:48.
Rating: D. It’s nice that they’re doing something with Lashley, but the same issue persists: why in the world are they using Lashley for something like this instead of having him in the main event, or at least somewhere higher up? I do like that there’s an actual story there though instead of “Here’s Lashley. He’s really strong.”
Post match Raquel says she can bring Lashley pain or pleasure.
Here’s Maria to talk about women’s wrestling. Women’s wrestling may not need a savior but it needs a leader to point it in the right direction. She is the first lady of professional wrestling and she is the arrow and leader. The Knockouts division needs to be saved so out with the old and in with the new. This brings out Gail Kim to proclaim her respect for Maria, as is the custom throughout TNA. Maria says Gail is just a wrestler but that’s not all she can be. Gail is even more serious because this division is about wrestling and nothing more. They can fight right now but Maria leaves.
The Wolves know Beer Money is coming for the titles at some point. Storm shows off the Feast or Fired briefcase but they agree to worry about that later.
Wolves/Beer Money vs. Decay/Bram/Eric Young
This is a Hardcore War, meaning two people (Crazzy Steve and Davey Richards) start and fight for two minutes before someone else comes down to make it two on one. Everyone brings a weapon of their choice and it’s one fall to a finish. Davey’s chair is easily dispatched by Steve’s ball bat wrapped in chains but Richards uses the bat to knock the chair into Steve’s face.
Bram is in third with a turnbuckle rod and the heels take over on the floor. It’s James Storm in fourth with a beer keg that he takes forever to get to the ring. Eventually he puts it between Bram’s legs and crushes it with a chair, which the fans implore him to do one more time. Eric Young is in fifth and cleans house with a kendo stick as we take a break.
Back with Eddie in as well and the good guys in control. Bram and Young take over until it’s Abyss to complete the villains’ team with Janice. Eddie dives on the monster before he can get anywhere but Storm is holding his leg. Pope wants to know how you win this match, which really should have been established before we were fifteen minutes in. Abyss cleans house as he is known to do and it’s Bobby Roode to complete the field, though I wonder why there are such strict rules in a HARDCORE WAR.
Roode’s hockey stick gives the good guys control again and we start the parade of secondary finishers. A seven man team suplex lets all four heroes do the BEER MONEY shout but that much time being wasted allows Abyss to get us and clothesline everyone. Davey takes a Black Hole Slam as Eddie and Bram fight to the back. Steve mists Davey, allowing Abyss to hit him with a title, allowing Steve to get the pin at 19:30.
Rating: D+. So it’s Lethal Lockdown without the cage. The match was your usual example of a way to kill time on a show with no real substance to anything as control would change every time someone new came in. It’s not horrible or a total waste of time but this was way too long and lost any of its interest early on. At least the Wolves have some fresh challengers.
Angle and Galloway suck up to each other as only TNA upper midcarders can do.
Drew Galloway vs. Tyrus
Neither guy gets an entrance. Tyrus gets in a cheap shot to start but Drew hammers away in the corner. We’re already in the nerve hold for a bit before Tyrus misses a charge into the post. Drew chops away and drops him with a top rope shot to the head. That earns him a Heart Punch from Tyrus and some BORING chants from the crowd, only to have Drew powerbomb the big man out of the corner. The lights go out and here’s Mike Bennett with the briefcase to knock out Galloway for the DQ at 5:41.
Rating: D. The fans were right about that BORING chant. The problem here is how can you get something interesting out of a guy Tyrus’ size when he wrestles such a big power style offense? Drew vs. Bennett should be fun enough but I could have gone for something more interesting to get us there.
Post match Bennett looks down at Drew and does his usual “do you believe in miracles” speech.
Angle talks about possibly retiring as champion when Lashley comes up to say how awesome it would be to win the title back from Angle in the same place Kurt took the title from him last year.
X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Gregory Shane Helms
Not so fast actually as Helms never said the match was against him. Here’s what we get instead.
X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Trevor Lee
Lee is challenging of course and thank goodness it’s someone fresh. Tigre is in early trouble but a dropkick sends Lee to the floor. A running clothesline drops the champ for two and it’s time for some mask ripping. Tigre comes back with a dropkick and dive over the top but that cool standing double stomp puts Uno down again. The fisherman’s buster into a small packages gives Lee the title at 4:50.
Rating: C-. So after all that time with Tigre winning match after match, he loses clean in five minutes? I can actually live with that as the division has been dying for some fresh blood for years now. Also it’s not like any of this matters until the main event guys remember the X-Divison is a thing at Destination X anyway so this doesn’t mean a ton. Lee is rather different too so this is a bit better.
Up next is the World Title match. Or maybe Ethan’s interview as they both say “up next”.
The big interview with Ethan is a promo about being undefeated for two years and then realizing that he’s kind of been a jerk. The winning got to him until Matt Hardy took everything to put him down. It took the thing he loved the most, the TNA World Title, to finally keep him down. He’s coming back to be Matt’s shadow and take back what belongs to him. Good stuff here as usual, but unfortunately we’re likely stuck waiting for Jeff to be the big conquering hero because of reasons.
TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Matt Hardy
Hardy is defending and an early Reby distraction lets the champ get in a bulldog for two. Tyrus rakes the eyes to slow Kurt down again and Matt grabs a chinlock. Angle fights up and scores with an Angle Slam for two we as take a break. Back with the straps coming down and the ankle lock going on until Matt flips him out to the floor. Tyrus runs Kurt over and goes over to mess with Pope for some reason. Both finishers are countered and it’s right back to the ankle lock until Matt rolls through into a cradle for two.
The Side Effect gets the same, followed by the Angle Slam for two more. It’s time to roll some Germans, drawing the required SUPLEX CITY chant. Matt finally pulls the referee’s shirt over his eyes, allowing a low blow to set up the Twist of Fate for two. More German suplexes allow Angle to go up, only to have Reby offer a distraction. A Twist of Fate (Diamond Cutter really) off the ropes allows Matt to retain at 14:00.
Rating: C+. It was good and a solid way to make Matt look like a bigger deal but there’s a limit to how far he can go because, at the end of the day, it’s Matt Hardy. To be fair, the wrestling is much better than the talking and thankfully this was a good enough match to make up for a lot of bad stuff earlier tonight.
Overall Rating: D+. The second hour was indeed much better but the first really made this a rough sit. Listening to Matt talk about how iconic he is and hearing about how Eric Young is such an important World Title player again and again is rapidly becoming some of the most ridiculous stuff I’ve heard in a long time.
As was my problem last year, there are so many people that TNA could use in their World Title scene but we’re getting these guys who are “names” instead of people who might be interesting. It doesn’t help that TNA is incapable of getting through something quickly so this is what we’re likely stuck with for a few more very long months. Carter will help, but there’s only so much he can do as a filler challenger.
Results
Lashley b. Aiden O’Shea – Spear
Decay/Bram/Eric Young b. Beer Money/Wolves – Title belt to Richards
Drew Galloway b. Tyrus via DQ when Mike Bennett interfered
Trevor Lee b. Tigre Uno – Fisherman’s Buster
Matt Hardy b. Kurt Angle – Super Twist of Fate
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 1, 2016
Location: Legacy Arena, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole
We have a main event set for Fastlane and Brock Lesnar is back tonight to give us all three in the same building tonight. Other than that you can see most of the card from here, but the important questions are what happens between now and Wrestlemania and whether or not new stories will start after the February pay per view. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
We open with Brock and Heyman with the former in a new red Suplex City shirt. Heyman immediately talks about the Wyatts, whose plot to get rid of Brock from the Royal Rumble worked, but it isn’t keeping him out of the main event of Wrestlemania. Now Lesnar is in a triple threat at Fastlane and that means it’s time for Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose to go to Suplex City. After that, Lesnar will conquer the billion dollar trophy husband to become the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Heyman goes back to the triple threat so here’s Ambrose to interrupt.
Dean gets right in Brock’s face and asks Heyman (or Porky) who he’s calling a nutjob. Ambrose isn’t stupid, crazy or scared right now because he respects Lesnar. That’s why he wants to stand in front of Brock and tell him how much he wants the title. He’s willing to fight his brother and Lesnar at the same time, even though he knows the beating that’s coming for him at Fastlane. It better be the best beating Lesnar has ever given though because Dean is going to do whatever it takes to go to Fastlane and take the title from HHH. Dean actually leaves with no violence and Lesnar smiles.
Kalisto vs. Rusev
Non-title and Alberto Del Rio is on commentary because he gets another title shot at Fastlane. Rusev (with Lana in his corner) shoves him around to start but Kalisto starts firing off the kicks that almost every small guy uses against a bigger opponent. A hurricanrana is blocked though, only to have Kalisto stay with it and take Rusev out to the floor. The champ’s dive is countered by a kick to the head though and we take a break.
Back with Kalisto charging into a shot in the corner as some of the fans in the front rows are doing the Lucha Dragons dance. A tornado DDT sends Rusev down but he plants Kalisto with a release Rock Bottom for two of his own. As you might expect, Kalisto pops right back up with a dropkick to the knee and the hurricanrana driver.
Rusev obeys the referee’s command to kick out but gets kicked to the floor. Kalisto’s dive is caught but he escapes what looks like a fall away slam and dropkicks Rusev into the steps. Another hurricanrana sends Rusev into the barricade and Kalisto dives back in for the countout win at 10:11. That was one of the slowest ten counts I’ve ever seen.
Rating: D+. Yeah yeah we get the idea: Kalisto goes through the League before getting to face Del Rio again. This would be so much easier to watch if we didn’t have to see five matches between the two of them in about two months. I’m just tired of seeing the two of them fight, even though the matches are watchable enough.
Stephanie and Reigns are in the back with the new HHH World Title belt when Ambrose comes in. Both guys are willing to do whatever it takes to get that title at Wrestlemania but Stephanie implies that they might turn on each other. She even says Ambrose is Reigns’ sidekick but Dean thinks it’s the other way around. That earns them a match against New Day in the main event. Nothing we haven’t seen on Smackdown a half dozen times, but WWE doesn’t care about Smackdown either.
We look at Nikki Bella’s neck surgery.
Brie Bella says her sister is in bed watching the WWE Network. Cue Charlotte and Ric to brag about beating Nikki for the Divas Title. Charlotte would be concerned about Nikki’s injuries if she had any reason to. Brie is left looking sad and good night they’re actually wanting to make me care about BRIE BELLA feeling bad? That’s the point we’ve reached?
Usos vs. Curtis Axel/Adam Rose
The Usos are announced as the Grammy Award winning Tag Team of the Year. They even re-air it after the break to make fun of Lillian’s flub. There’s no Bo Dallas due to his dad being in the hospital, so Slater says he’s in the studio after his battle with Flo Rida last week. Axel kicks Jey in the ribs to start and it’s off to Rose, who comes in with a top rope knee to the chest. The announcers go on about Stephanie suggesting that absolute power corrupts absolutely because they exist to push her stupid lines.
Axel’s chinlock keeps things slow and Rose’s makes it even worse until Jimmy enziguris him down. Jey comes in with a bunch of superkicks (including one where Axel telegraphed it worse than anything I’ve seen in years). At least four superkicks in a row set up a double superkick and the Superfly Splash for the pin on Rose at 5:11.
Rating: O. For obnoxious. Yeah Lillian screwed up a line so let’s spend the whole match going on and on because NO ONE IN WWE HAS EVER SCREWED UP A LINE BECAUSE THEY’RE TOTALLY PERFECT AND THE GREATEST THING EVER. It’s stuff like that which makes the whole company seem so stuck up that it drives me insane. Get over yourselves already and call the match instead of making fun of Garcia (a woman that people like Kevin Dunn, who I would almost bet was behind that whole thing, could never get) or talking about how insightful Stephanie’s stuff was. The match sucked by the way.
Back from a break with WWE bragging about being on American Airlines in-flight magazine. Yeah that gets ten seconds but Lillian’s flub gets a full match.
It’s time for MizTV with special guest AJ Styles. Miz gets right to the point by cutting off AJ before he can say a word to every question. He lists off AJ’s accomplishments such as being the smallest guy on the football team and coming from rural Georgia. AJ has gone all over the world and finally got to the WWE where he lasted nearly half an hour in the Royal Rumble. Then he defeated Chris Jericho in his debut match, which is a big reason why Miz sees a lot of Daniel Bryan in AJ.
Miz goes on another rant about how he fathered the YES Movement before telling the fans to be quiet. The fans think AJ (who hasn’t said a word yet) can make it in the WWE without Miz’s guidance but there’s no chance of that happening. That’s enough for AJ as he goes off on Miz in the corner and chases him off for the big hero moment. I get the idea here, but Miz actually gave AJ quite the introduction, which was probably the other intended purpose.
Brie Bella vs. Charlotte
Non-title, mainly because Brie never wins anything and therefore probably shouldn’t be in this story. Brie starts fast but the BRIE MODE knee is countered with Charlotte sending her to the floor. The figure four neck lock keeps Brie in trouble but she makes the required clothesline comeback. Now the BRIE MODE knee (minus the shouting of BRIE MODE) connects and it’s off to a sleeper, only to have Ric get up on the apron. Amazingly enough the powers of Alicia Fox aren’t enough to do anything, allowing Charlotte to use something like a Stunner to escape. Charlotte slaps on the Figure Four but gets rolled up for the pin at 4:45.
Rating: F. GAH THIS STUPID FREAKING COMPANY!!! So we already have the triple threat set up at Fastlane with the three NXT women but now we get the addition of BRIE BELLA so the spirit of Nikki can be upon us. I’m sure Brie will be fighting for her sister’s honor or some nonsense like that because Brie and Nikki are now faces after being heels for like ever because of reasons that aren’t important enough to explain. Didn’t they learn anything in the Divas Revolution when Brie was dragging down every freaking match she was in with the NXT women? And it was a clean pin. On the champion. Live on Raw. Just so much dumb.
We look back at Big Show saving Reigns and Ambrose from the Wyatts on Smackdown.
Erick Rowan vs. Big Show
Show grabs the stairs to hold off Strowman and the announcers somehow don’t bring up the stairs match these two had a few years back. Rowan can’t suplex Show (because he’s a big bad show tonight) and after spearing Strowman off the apron, the chokeslam puts Rowan away at 1:20.
Post match the Wyatts (minus Bray who is in Florida with his dad as well) beat Show down and slam him onto the steps.
Titus O’Neil vs. Tyler Breeze
At least Breeze has his full entrance back. Titus throws him into the corner to start but Breeze is smart enough to take out the knee, which is quickly wrapped around the post. We hit the half crab on Titus before he throws Tyler across the ring all the way from his back. A HUGE clothesline drops Breeze and the Clash of the Titus is good for the pin at 2:49.
HHH comes in to see Brock and asks why Dean was allowed to live. Brock says he’ll see HHH at Wrestlemania.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens
Owens won last week and that’s got me very worried here. It’s a brawl to start with Owens naturally getting the better of it. Ziggler gets thrown over the top and into the timekeeper’s area as we take a break. Back with Ziggler jawbreaking his way out of a chinlock but getting crushed by the Cannonball for two. A hard elbow drops Ziggler again but he avoids a charge in the corner and hits three straight Stinger Splashes.
Thankfully Kevin will have none of that and clotheslines Dolph’s head off, only to get dumped out to the floor. Back in and Owens superkicks Dolph’s head off for two but takes too long going up. Ziggler’s superplex is blocked though, allowing Owens to get him into the Tree of Woe. Another Cannonball connects (that looked great) and now the Pop Up Powerbomb is….countered into the Zig Zag for the pin at 10:35.
Rating: D+. That’s mostly for the ending because WWE is going out of their way to screw themselves over. Kevin Owens has the potential to be something fun and fresh as a heel but we need the 50/50 booking with DOLPH ZIGGLER. Owens could be a World Champion (and if there has EVER been a time when they need someone to step up and be a big deal, it might be before Wrestlemania with Rollins and Cena both hurt) by the end of the year but he’s losing here because of whatever stupid philosophy they have. This actually made me mad and what makes it even worse is that you knew it was coming the whole way.
Video on Mark Henry for Black History Month.
Here’s Sasha Banks for a match but first she has something to say. Sasha says she’s on her own and no one is going to stop her from winning the title. This brings out Naomi and Tamina because the world was waiting for the Team BAD blowoff. Naomi says she knew this was coming but Sasha wants them to still be friends. They do the UNITY pose and everything seems cool. Of course.
Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks
They trade rollups to start with Sasha getting the better of it and hitting the double knees in the corner. Becky gets knocked to the floor but Sasha doesn’t want Tamina and Naomi to help. She says she doesn’t need the help so Tamina and Naomi pull her to the floor for the DQ 3:40.
Rating: D+. No time of course because the NXT women never get a chance to do anything. I’d like to repeat though: no one cares about Tamina and Naomi and they’re clearly just doing this (possibly a tag feud for Fastlane) so we can get BRIE BELLA as a title contender. Yeah it’s a fill in challenger, but why not spend the extra time setting up your big Wrestlemania match instead of wasting your time on a nothing feud with no drama?
Post match Becky saves Sasha from the beatdown.
We get a clip of JBL interviewing Ron Simmons on the Network.
Chris Jericho says everyone has been talking about AJ Styles….except for him. Everything about their match last week was tremendous except for the outcome. AJ showed that he’s a tenacious pitbull and Jericho is going to be watching AJ’s match with Miz on Smackdown.
R-Truth goes into the bathroom and finds Goldust crouching on the toilet. Goldust still won’t take no for an answer on the team but Truth thinks Goldust is a weirdo. That means it’s time to bring up Little Jimmy, which seems to get to Truth a bit. Remember like eight days ago when Truth was still crazy and not the straight man in these vignettes?
New Day vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose
Non-title because the champions need to lose again and Heyman is on commentary. Before the match, Woods talks about how the comments from Rock have Francesca so upset that she can’t sleep at night. Rocky needs to think of the children, like the one they point at in the front row doing the New Day dance. Tonight they’re taking care of Rock’s cousin and they’ll throw in Dean too.
Reigns and Kofi get things going with Kingston having to get out of a Samoan Drop, earning himself a right hand to the head. It’s off to Dean for a basement clothesline as Heyman is already frustrated with Cole’s talk about Ambrose staring Lesnar down earlier. The threat of the Superman Punch causes Woods and Big E. to pull Kofi to the floor as we take a break.
Back with Big E. missing the Apron Splash but Ambrose is kept in trouble with a whip into the steps. Kofi kicks him in the head for two as Woods jumps in on commentary to yell about how awesome they are. Ambrose stays in trouble and Big E. gets two off a splash. Heyman is trying to get in on this but there’s only so much you can do with Woods blasting that trombone.
We hit the abdominal stretch (Woods: “Stretch the abs!”) but Dean doesn’t like the spanking and bites Big E.’s nose. A suplex allows the hot tag to Reigns and it’s time for some corner clotheslines. The other hot tag brings in Ambrose as everything breaks down. The Superman Punch sets up Dirty Deeds on Big E. for the pin at 17:22.
Rating: D+. Hey look: champions lose again clean. This is how things work in WWE this time of year and they really don’t care how obvious they make it coming in. The match was fine but they made it clear that New Day was losing here for the sake of pushing Reigns and Ambrose. Pushing the two of them is fine, but it’s really sad that they had no one else to lose to Reigns and Ambrose. Can you imagine sitting through another League “showdown”?
Post match Brock comes out for the showdown but New Day attacks Reigns, allowing Brock to F5 Ambrose to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. Oh man this one was rough. This was a show where they made it clear that they don’t care what’s going on until the night after Fastlane, which makes me wonder why I’m going to watch until then. We’re getting stuff like Brie Bella fighting for the spirit of her sister, whose goal in life is to get John Cena to marry and impregnate her. That’s my hero in the Divas division.
On top of that, there’s the nonsense with the 50/50 booking. Again: the roster is so depleted right now and tonight we saw Dolph Ziggler, the definition of career midcarder, is beating Kevin Owens clean. Why? Just because Owens won last week and we need to set up something at Fastlane. Instead of having Owens look like a killer and setting up something big at Wrestlemania, we need to see this nothing feud and story that is only taking place to fill in time before we get to Wrestlemania.
Then why have Fastlane? Why not just give us a ten week build to Wrestlemania? That’s where WWE loses me. It’s clear that they’re just having a filler show at Fastlane, so why should I bother paying attention for the next three weeks? They’re resetting again after the show and we’ve got a month before the biggest show of all time. Well done on making it feel special WWE. Really, it takes talent to be this shortsighted.
Results
Kalisto b. Rusev via countout
Usos b. Curtis Axel/Adam Rose – Superfly Splash to Rose
Brie Bella b. Charlotte – Small package
Big Show b. Erick Rowan – Chokeslam
Titus O’Neil b. Tyler Breeze – Clash of the Titus
Dolph Ziggler b. Kevin Owens – Zig Zag
Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. New Day – Dirty Deeds to Big E.
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Or maybe I’m overthinking this.So over on WWE.com, there’s an article on stars’ first Raw matches. The caption asks if this “future Hall of Famer” looks familiar. The picture if of JBL, who hasn’t been announced as a member of this year’s class but it’s certainly possible in Texas.