Or maybe I’m overthinking this.So over on WWE.com, there’s an article on stars’ first Raw matches. The caption asks if this “future Hall of Famer” looks familiar. The picture if of JBL, who hasn’t been announced as a member of this year’s class but it’s certainly possible in Texas.
Royal Rumble review with KB and NorCal, plus a Bastion Booger retrospective.
http://mightynorcal.podbean.com/e/wwp-38-royal-rumble-and-rumble-aftermath-review-with-kb/
Thunder
Date: September 6, 2000
Location: Reed Arena, College Station, Texas
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray
We’re getting closer to Fall Brawl and we’re now past the big waste of time known as WarGames 2000. In theory that means it’s time to crank up the storylines but who knows what that could mean around here. To be fair though Thunder was actually a really good show last week so maybe I have some hope here. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
MI Smooth takes the Natural Born Thrillers to the Power Plant.
Kwee Wee vs. Lieutenant Loco
This has potential and is a #1 contenders match. Before they can get anything going, here are Elix Skipper and Major Gunns for commentary. Kwee Wee grabs a slam to start and stomps Chavo in the corner before throwing him down with a quick suplex. That’s fine with Chavo as he comes back with a quick brainbuster but can’t get the tornado DDT. They’re flying through this. Instead he shoves Kwee Wee away, only to get crotched by Paisley, allowing Kwee Wee to drop him with a hanging DDT for the pin and the title shot.
Rating: C. As usual, letting the wrestlers wrestle is the best idea they can have around here. Kwee Wee is still working hard in the ring but there’s no way around this stupid gimmick. I mean, what is he supposed to do with a gimmick that is destined to stay a goofy comedy guy instead of anything serious?
Post match the three women (Tygress as the third) get in a fight, only to have Skipper pull Gunns away before the MIA can save her.
The announcers talk about the history between Goldberg and Bret Hart. I don’t know if WCW knew that Hart wasn’t going to be able to get in the ring again but this is pretty close to false advertising by implying that this was leading to a match.
The sitdown interview is with David Flair and Miss Hancock before their wedding on Monday. It’s about time they built that thing up.
We go back to the Power Plant with the Thrillers returning to their old stomping grounds. They offer to give the guys in the ring some training but Mike Graham actually gets Sanders in a Figure Four. The beatdown is on and the Thrillers leave them laying. A guy cleaning the floor gets beaten up too and it’s time for the big showdown with Paul Orndorff. They let themselves into his office and Paul tries to throw them out to no avail. Orndorff asks what happened to them but the Thrillers beat him down as well. Security finally breaks it up but this did its job.
It’s time for the sitdown interview with David Flair and Miss Hancock. Tenay gets right to the point by asking if Ric will be there. Didn’t we cover that on Monday with Arn? David hasn’t talked to his family but they’re welcome to come if they like. Mike calls Hancock a gold digger (she was reaching into David’s pockets for something) before asking if David will be a better father than Ric. They argue over whether that’s personal or not (it kind of is Mike) and that’s it. Mike gives them six months at most. So Gene’s gimmick is that he’s a dirty old man and Tenay’s is that he’s just a jerk while doing interviews? How does this help anything?
Goldberg is looking for Hart.
Clip from before Nitro of the Harris Twins beating Kronik down in a bar.
Kronik vs. 3 Count
Well last week the Dragons were beaten down so I guess it’s 3 Count’s turn. The band calls out the big guys and the beating is quickly on. Helms gets in a quick superkick on Clark but Karagias eats the full nelson slam. Not that it matters as the Harris Twins appear, drawing Kronik up the ramp for a countout. After destroying 3 Count of course.
Post match Tank Abbott comes out and pummels 3 Count to make sure they get nothing out of this show.
Bret is here and has security guarding his locker room. Smart.
Crowbar says he’s ready for Troy Martin (Shane Douglas). Again I ask: how does this help anything? Yeah that’s his real name and how does that make me want to see their match any more?
It’s time to make things even worse as we have the debut of the Lava Lamp Lounge, as in Mike Awesome’s 70s themed talk show. Apparently he isn’t just into fat chicks anymore because there’s enough Vitamin A to go around. His guest tonight: Paula Pamshock (exactly as he said it).
As expected Awesome hits on her with some of the worst lines you’ve ever heard until Jeff Jarrett comes out for the interruption. Jarrett: “You look like a cross between John Travolta in Saturday Night Live and Austin Powers.” That might be worse than Paula Pamshock. It’s the big brawl with the set being destroyed but Okerlund runs out to save Pamela from the guitar shot, which takes Awesome out instead. Predictable but fine, save for the horrible screwing up lines.
Crowbar vs. Shane Douglas
Now remember: real names were used so this is a big deal. Before the match, Shane rips on Goldberg because that’s still supposed to be a thing. Crowbar has taped ribs so Shane goes after them before the bell, only to get punched and bitten in the corner. A baseball slide sends Shane to the floor and Crowbar, with the bad ribs, does his splash off the apron. Maybe it’s because he’s crazy?
Shane gets smart and sends Crowbar ribs first into the barricade a few times before throwing on an abdominal stretch back inside. The hold is broken as quickly as most other abdominal stretches are after 1958 and Crowbar starts whipping him with a belt. The northern lights suplex and Death Valley Driver get two each on Shane but Crowbar goes after Torrie (for interfering) and walks into the Franchiser for the pin.
Rating: D. This could have been good had Crowbar remembered he had bad ribs to start and if I didn’t have to listen to Shane doing his really weak heel stuff before the match. I’m really not sure what they’re going for with Shane at the moment as the feud with Kidman hasn’t been mentioned in a week, though I’m sure it’s supposed to be a big enough deal that we just go with it.
Post match Daffney comes out to brawl with Torrie. Ozzy (the boyfriend) comes out but gets beaten down by Shane. This brings out Madusa of all people to drop Shane with an enziguri.
Goldberg beats up the security guards and there’s no Bret inside.
Here’s Bret with something to say. He wants to know what happened to wrestling with people like Mike Awesome being wasted in stuff like that segment he was just in. Vince Russo has the stroke around here but everyone knows he’s the best in the world. Bret has beaten everyone in the WWF and now he’s beaten everyone here too, including Goldberg. The only person that ever gave him a chance was Vince Russo, who gave him title shots the second he got here.
We see the Bret Killer Kick from Starrcade, which cost him millions of dollars. “I couldn’t even buy that ranch I wanted.” Goldberg claims to be some kind of animal activist but he treated Bret worse than any animal. Cue Goldberg to say if this was the normal version of him, he’d have already taken Bret’s head off. Believe it or not, he has some remorse. There are times where he wishes it was him that got his head kicked off. Bret wishes that every day because all Goldberg cares about is his merchandise being on the shelf.
Goldberg says he was doing his job but every night he has to wonder. When Goldberg was growing up, Bret was one of the people he looked up to. Goldberg is 34 here so the timing doesn’t work here, but he tries to leave because Bret isn’t worth it anymore. Bret says Goldberg isn’t the real thing and that’s enough to get him back in the ring. Cue Scott Steiner with a pipe to lay Goldberg out and put him in the Recliner.
WCW Motorsports, with Vampiro completely out of character.
Steiner leaves the building.
Tag Team Titles: Filthy Animals vs. Harris Brothers
The Brothers are challenging while Konnan/Disqo do commentary. Juvy starts fast with a springboard dropkick to we’ll say Ron before it’s off to Don for some no selling and power beating. A sideslam gets two and it’s already Juvy in trouble. It’s back to Ron (like it matters) who gets kicked in the face and taken down by a springboard bulldog.
Rey finally gets the tag as everything breaks down, including Tygress coming in for a Bronco Buster. Juvy gets kicked low but here’s Kronik because we didn’t have enough interference yet. Kronik lays out Disqo for no apparent reason before Clark throws Rey at one of the Brothers for the pin to retain.
Rating: D. I’d still love to hear the pitch meeting where the Harris Brothers got jobs for so long. Was there really any good reason to go with the other than they’re big and look alike? I’m really not sure what the appeal is of them looking alike as they wrestle the same style anyway. At least with a team like the Usos you get something entertaining more often than not. The Harris Brothers are just big generic power guys who happen to be identical. That warrants employment for some reason.
Video on WarGames, which means the whole show.
After the show, Booker and his friends/family promised to get the title back at Fall Brawl. Cool moment, which is why it wasn’t on Nitro but Russo got to talk about 18 times.
Video on Sting vs. Vampiro, which is continuing for whatever reason.
Sting vs. Vampiro
Anything goes and we’re getting the Clowns on commentary to make this show so much better. The Clowns introduce themselves and offer “Tony Zimbabwe” three dollars to shill for JCW. This is also NOT for the JCW Title because Sting hasn’t beaten Mad Man Pondo. They head outside to start with Vampiro sending him into the barricade before taking it into the crowd.
We get the usual punching and walking until Sting takes it back to ringside for a whip into the barricade of his own. Sting goes face first into the announcers’ table so J can get in a right hand to the head. The Iranian Judo Attack (a clothesline) puts Sting down but he pops up and sends the Clowns running away. A lame chair to the head drops Vampiro and they head back inside as the Clowns freak out that Tony has lost his coloring book.
Vampiro comes back with chops but we might have some stolen food stamps. The Olive Loaf Chop staggers Sting but he slams Vampiro off the top for a comeback. Vampiro starts in on the leg (with the Saline Sam Coconut Crunch Lock) before kicking Sting in the face. There’s the Stinger Splash but but Shaggy throws the JCW Title at Sting’s leg. Not that it matters as the Death Drop knocks Vampiro silly for the pin. However, JCW rules say the loser wins and $5 of your ticket cost will go into Violent J’s pockets.
Rating: D+. The commentary was absolutely hilarious and the wrestling was really just there as a backdrop. The Clowns may not be the best wrestlers in the world (or really even close) but at leas they’re good for something around here. I really wish we could get past this Sting vs. Vampiro nonsense, but what in the world could they have for either guy next?
Post match Sting gets beaten down until Great Muta makes the save.
Goldberg is in the ring and calls out Bret Hart for a fight right here. Instead he gets Team Canada because they’re all the same right?
Team Canada vs. Goldberg
Goldberg yawns through the Canadian national anthem and the Canadians argue over who has to start. Storm throws Skipper at Goldberg and it’s a spear to the Cruiserweight Champion in about ten seconds. There goes Storm up the ramp but General Rection cuts him off. Back in and the spear into the Jackhammer ends Storm with ease. So much for the titles meaning anything around here.
Overall Rating: D+. This was a story heavy show but not in the stupid way that Nitro tends to go. I can live with a show that focuses on talking and setting up things for later, but it really doesn’t matter if the stories don’t have the chance to go anywhere when every Monday gets more and more insane. We’ve actually reached the point where Thunder is the bright spot in WCW and I’m not sure how to handle that.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Lucha Underground
Date: January 27, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Vampiro
It’s FINALLY back. This is one of the most interesting wrestling shows you’ll ever see with some long form storytelling that can only be rivaled by companies like Chikara which are just as out there as this one. The first season ended with Mil Muertes and Catrina dominating everyone else and Dario Cueto running away from the temple, meaning we’re likely to start with some fallout. Let’s get to it.
We open in a psychiatric ward with Vampiro (called Ian here) having violent flashbacks to his match with Pentagon Jr. from Ultima Lucha, though denying that he has them anymore. The doctor gives him anti-psychotic pills which he promises that he’ll take. He’s also told to avoid the people and places that trigger these episodes, prompting him to fantasize about beating up the medical staff. That’s enough to warrant a release….into the desert, where Matt Striker picks him up in a vintage convertible (under a sheet for some reason). There’s an invitation for them to return to the Temple, but it’s a much darker place.
This is an AWESOME way to start the new season as it felt like a teaser scene instead of just another opening sequence. The production values feel like something out of a studio TV show instead of the run of the mill wrestling style that has been the same for going on twenty years now. I don’t know if it’s the Robert Rodriguez influence or what but as Randy Savage said about all the robes he bought: if you look like something important, people will think you’re something important.
We go to Cueto’s former office which has been taken over by Catrina. Fenix comes in with the Gift of the Gods Title, which he plans to cash in tonight. Catrina says wait until next week (which was the rule) because tonight, he defends it against King Cuerno. “Run along now little birdie.”
Mil Muertes now sits on a throne above the temple (where the band used to be, which is a welcome subtraction) in an awesome visual.
Gift of the Gods Title: King Cuerno vs. Fenix
Fenix is defending. They trade some armdrags to start with Fenix snapping off a standing moonsault for no cover. Striker: “THIS IS LUCHA UNDERGROUND!” Oh man it’s going to be a long season. Cuerno bails to the floor but catches a baseball slide for a hanging DDT. Well that accelerated quickly. The big suicide dive sends Fenix into the barricade for two but the champ comes right back with a springboard dropkick.
Another springboard into an armdrag sets up a Lethal Injection (still hate that move) and Cuerno heads outside again, only to get taken down by a huge corkscrew plancha. Back in and a Helluva Kick staggers Cuerno, only to have him come back with a running forearm to the jaw. A second Lethal Injection into a dragon sleeper (top that Jay) has Cuerno in trouble but he escapes into a surfboard.
That’s not it either though as he pulls Fenix down into a dragon sleeper of his own before kicking Fenix face first into the middle buckle. Back up and Fenix loads up a superplex, only to get behind Cuerno for a top rope double stomp to the back of the head. Cuerno’s Thrill of the Hunt gets two and he stomps a mudhole in the corner. Fenix pops up again and misses a springboard 450, allowing Cuerno to debut a package tombstone piledriver for the pin and the title.
Rating: B. Oh yeah they’re back. I know the style (and the severe lack of selling) can be an issue if you’re not used to it but these matches are some of the most fun you’ll have watching wrestling. The piledriver is a great finisher for Cuerno, though I’m not sure he can use it on everyone, including Muertes. Really good start to the season though.
Son of Havoc, Angelico and Ivelisse arrive on their motorcycles, presumably fresh from White Castle.
We get a quick look at Johnny Mundo’s workout. I love little segments like that as they make the show feel bigger.
Catrina tells Ivelisse/Havoc/Angelico that Muertes wants to see them fight…..each other. Havoc isn’t happy but it’s for a shot at Muertes’ title. Ivelisse accepts for the team because she wants to beat up Catrina after she wins.
Catrina comes to the ring and whispers something in Melissa Santos’ ear.
Cuerno (looking ridiculous in a cowboy shirt and hat) is leaving when Catrina comes in and says to remember their deal. The new champion says she and Catrina have nothing to worry about.
Prince Puma is the luchador of the week (complete with a sponsor). Again, nice touch that makes the place look more professional and important. We get a quick profile and some highlights.
Ivelisse vs. Son of Havoc vs. Angelico
The winner gets the title shot. It seems that Catrina came out to tell Melissa the match because the announcers didn’t know what they were about to see. Sweet goodness THAT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE! They trade rollups to start and it’s a three way standoff to some nice applause. Ivelisse starts striking and knocks both guys into different corners, only to have Angelico blast her with a running knee.
Now it’s Havoc getting hit in the face over and over for two but Ivelisse comes back with a high cross body for two on Angelico. Ivelisse sends both guys together but Havoc drops her again. Angelico and Ivelisse are both sent outside for back to back suicide dives (a VERY popular move around here) before Havoc’s standing moonsault gets two on Angelico back inside. Ivelisse crotches Havoc on top though and grabs a quick rollup on Angelico for the pin and the title shot.
Rating: C+. Another fun match here as Ivelisse gets to show off a bit without having a broken ankle. It’s also quite the surprise as you really wouldn’t have expected her to get the win and actually set up a man vs. woman title shot, especially in Muertes’ first title defense. This was more fun than good, but that’s Lucha Underground in a nutshell.
Three guys are 375 miles from Boyle Heights when they run into Black Lotus. They’re looking for the Temple (of course) and she tells them to follow her.
Lucha Underground Title: Mil Muertes vs. Ivelisse
Muertes is defending of course. Before the match, cue the Disciples of Death to carry off Angelico and Son of Havoc to keep this one on one. Muertes shoves her down to start as Striker tries to explain how Ivelisse can win. A backbreaker has Ivelisse in trouble and a kick to the chest drops her again.
Back up and Ivelisse tries a guillotine for as much success as you would expect before being thrown down. She stays at it with an armbreaker over the ropes and Muertes actually holds his wrist for a second. A tornado DDT gets two and sends Striker through the roof. Catrina gets in with the rock but gets speared by mistake, giving Ivelisse a VERY hot two count. Not that it matters as the Flatliner retains the title a few seconds later.
Rating: C+. For a less than five minute match, this was as fun and close to making you believe something was going to happen as it was going to be. There was no way they were changing the title on the first show but at least we had a great near fall and Muertes showing the slightest bit of vulnerability. That helps set things up going forward and keeps Ivelisse, who was weakened coming in, looking strong. Well done.
Post match Catrina teases the Lick of Death but opts for more punishment from Muertes instead. Cue Prince Puma for the big staredown but he saves Ivelisse instead of fighting like a true hero. Puma bails so here’s Pentagon Jr. (sending Vampiro into a near trance), now clearly a cult hero and BIG face, to drop Muertes with a Backstabber and break his arm. You knew this was coming but it was actually more awesome than I was expecting.
Post credits, Lotus and the three guys arrive. Before they get inside, they run into Dario Cueto. The guys don’t believe the hype so Lotus beats one of them up without looking at him. They have to pay $20 each to get in and Cueto unlocks the door. He lets them in and you can hear Matanza slaughtering all three of them to wrap things up.
Overall Rating: A-. Oh yeah it’s back. One of the biggest worries I had about this season was a big letdown coming off the awesome first season. However, this was full speed ahead and felt like they really did just pick up six months later. Everything is bigger and better this season and I’m really curious to see where they’re going. You have to assume that Pentagon vs. Muertes is the first title program but I can’t imagine they stretch that all the way out to Ultima Lucha. Throw in all the Muertes/Catrina stuff and Cuerno possibly being on the evil side and I’m really looking forward to where this stuff goes.
It’s a true alternative to WWE, unlike so many companies which claim to be and are really just another wrestling show like so many others you can find. Now that they have a bigger budget (in theory) and A TON of hype coming into this season, it should be interesting to see how far they can go. It’s an excellent start to the second season and this should be excellent going forward.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Smackdown
Date: January 28, 2016
Location: Amalie Arena, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton
We’ve got a main event for Fastlane now, which means we’ll have a main event for Wrestlemania in just a few weeks. This past Monday on Raw, it was announced that Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose and Brock Lesnar will face off for the World Title shot at Wrestlemania against HHH, which doesn’t make a ton of sense but should be a good match. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of the Royal Rumble and Monday’s fallout.
Opening sequence.
Here’s the New Day who shame the Rock after seeing a recap of his surprise appearance on Monday. Rock is clearly just jealous of their gold (it’s bronze actually) because he insulted the unicorn horns. This brings out the Miz of all people, who says he feels their pain. How dare Rock insult one of his fellow movie stars? Miz deserves respect but here are the Usos to interrupt as well.
They get on him for still talking about main eventing Wrestlemania, but maybe that’s where he got the money to buy that dress. Woods: “Miz has the best mouth in the business.” Big E. laughs at the Usos for never winning any gold and Kofi says the Usos’ cousin Dewey isn’t here for the rescue. The Usos aren’t worried because here are Titus O’Neil and Dolph Ziggler to help with the brawl.
New Day/Miz vs. Usos/Titus O’Neil/Dolph Ziggler
Miz and Jey get things going with the Uso sending him into the corner for some dancing. Woods refers to Jey as a varmint as it’s off to Titus vs. Kofi. Kingston dropkicks him down and it’s off to Ziggler. Big E. gets in a slam but Ziggler dives away and makes the tag off to Jimmy as things pick up again. There’s the running Umaga Attack (with Ranallo actually mentioning Umaga) to Big E., who pops up and belly to bellies Jimmy into the corner.
The Unicorn Stampede has Jimmy in more trouble and we get some sweet Francesca II. Jimmy finally knocks Woods down and makes the tag off to Titus for some house cleaning. A powerslam gets two on Miz and everything breaks down. The Usos hit stereo dives on Big E. and Kofi and Ziggler superkicks Miz into the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 7:54.
Rating: C-. What is up with the Titus push lately? I know it’s not likely to go anywhere but he’s getting pins on TV and actually looking like something of note. It might be due to the charity stuff he’s been doing lately but it’s cool to see someone getting a mini push. The match was fine and at least Miz took the fall.
US Title: Kalisto vs. Neville
Kalisto is defending and we get some Big Match Intros. They hit the ropes to start and Kalisto does a walking handstand to show off. Neville is sent to the floor and Kalisto snaps off a hurricanrana into the barricade. They get back inside and we take an early break. Back with Kalisto springboarding into a sitout powerbomb for two as Neville is having to wrestle as the default heel.
Neville lifts him up into a fireman’s carry and goes up top, only to have Kalisto reverse into a top rope hurricanrana for a huge crash. Back up and Neville fires off the kicks to the ribs but the lifting German suplex is countered into a rollup for two. Neville tries it again and gets countered into something like a Salida Del Sol to retain Kalisto’s title at 8:54.
Rating: C+. Botches aside, this was a fun match with Kalisto getting to show off against someone who can wrestle a similar style. I know the ending wasn’t the smoothest in the world but it’s cool to see Kalisto hitting that move from almost any angle. It makes it that much more dangerous and that’s going to give him a lot more mileage.
They shake hands post match.
It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Jericho talking about having a great run in the Royal Rumble, only to have HHH come in and win in the end. That win helped set up the main event of Fastlane with the triple threat for the #1 contendership. Therefore, his guests tonight are Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose.
After presenting Jericho with a potted plant and a stool to help replace some of the often destroyed set, they say they’re not jealous people so they aren’t going to lose their friendship over this match. Dean says he’s going to punch Reigns in the face and kick him in the ribs as soon as the bell rings and that’s just fine with Roman.
Jericho brings up Brock, who Dean has never faced before. Ambrose says Brock is the most destructive force but that doesn’t matter when you’re indestructible. Reigns doesn’t think it’s that simple, but Dean points out that he can just beat Roman to get the shot. Reigns: “Well it would be the first time because you never have before.” Cue the Wyatts to say they slayed the Beast but Reigns says he doesn’t get what they’re talking about. A challenge is issued but Bray says patience. This seems to be the main event.
Here are the Social Outcasts to talk about how they should be trending. Instead people are talking about AJ Styles, who they call the phenomenal anomaly. Axel yells about being eliminated for over a year until AJ jumped him from behind.
AJ Styles vs. Curtis Axel
Styles starts fast with the drop down into the dropkick as Lawler goes on a rant about how AJ’s past accomplishments don’t mean a thing around here. Axel knocks him down in the corner and scores with a backbreaker, only to miss a middle rope elbow. Styles misses the middle rope moonsault into the reverse DDT but it looked enough like a Pele to count. A flip dive takes out Slater and Dallas and it’s the Pele into the Styles Clash to pin Axel at 3:20.
Rating: D+. So he can’t hit it in the Royal Rumble and he can’t hit it in the match against Jericho but he can hit it against Axel in a nothing match on Smackdown? That’s their thinking here? At least they haven’t stopped his push yet, which is actually a relief after all the other people this company has screwed up.
Charlotte vs. Natalya
Non-title and Natalya says the Queen of Harts is back. Charlotte gets rolled up for an early two and the basement dropkick sends the champ into the corner. Natalya follows her in and gets kicked in the face for her efforts, followed by an abdominal stretch to slow things down. A dropkick and some chops have Natalya in even more trouble but she sends Charlotte to the floor. Some WOOing distracts Natalya though and Charlotte gets in a chop block, setting up the Figure Eight for the submission at 3:53.
Rating: C-. They’re firmly in the Evolution formula now with Flair causing all the distractions and setting up the endings. At some point they need to change things up because that formula got old back in the day and it’s already getting boring here. Natalya being back in the ring is a good thing as the division can always use talented veterans.
Charlotte puts the hold on again but Becky Lynch runs in for the save.
R-Truth is getting ready for a run when Goldust comes up. Jokes about stretching and massaging a groin strain ensue, though this time R-Truth seems intrigued by the idea of a team.
Wyatt Family vs. Chris Jericho/Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose
Strowman is the odd man out here. Rowan chops Jericho into the corner to start but it’s quickly off to Dean for a kick to the ribs. Reigns gets in a quick turn before it’s back to Jericho, who is dragged into the corner for the tag off to Harper. Some shots to the throat have Chris in trouble but he comes back with a dropkick and enziguri. No tag though as he pounds in right hands instead.
The bad idea results in Harper coming back with a suplex for two as we take a break. Back with Rowan putting on the head vice for a bit before a backbreaker gets two on Jericho. Harper comes in for a leg lock of all things, followed by a more traditional chinlock. Bray seems a bit disappointed that we didn’t get a broken limb. A Michinoku Driver gets two for Harper but he’s smart enough to kick Reigns off the apron. Jericho grabs a one knee Codebreaker for a breather, allowing the hot tag off to Ambrose.
The top rope elbow gets two on Rowan and everything breaks down with Dean diving onto Bray. Dean goes up again but dives into a spinwheel kick from Rowan, allowing Bray to come in for the backsplash. The rebound lariat drops Wyatt though and the hot tag brings in Roman to clean house. Everything breaks down again and the good guys take over, setting up the Superman Punch for two on Harper with Strowman pulling Roman to the floor for the DQ at 13:41.
Rating: C. Totally run of the mill six man tag here and that’s not the most interesting thing in the world. I like that they didn’t feel the need to give the Wyatts another clean loss and went with the DQ instead. Hopefully Bray can be kept strong leading into his match Brock, though I’m still not sure how strong that’s going to be.
Post match the Wyatts destroy the good guys until Big Show of all people comes out for the save. Show is beaten down as well but the good guys get up and help clean house to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. There were a few good things here and there but above all else this show was lacking. Smackdown shows promise once in a while but then it gets stuck with this lame formula of tag matches and meaningless midcard stuff which is almost never mentioned again. It’s fine for a quick show but nothing necessary to remember by the time the next Raw airs.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Ring of Honor
Date: January 27, 2016
Location: Cabarrus Arena and Events Center, Concord, North Carolina
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Mr. Wrestling 3
It’s a new taping cycle as we’re out of Philadelphia and now moving towards the Anniversary Show pay per view. However, we’ve got something interesting for tonight as well with the start of the Top Prospect Tournament. This is an annual competition for newcomers (not necessarily rookies) and has led to the rises of names like Mike Bennett, Matt Taven and Donovan Dijak. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Top Prospect Tournament First Round: Brian Fury vs. Shaheem Ali
Fury is a seventeen year veteran and trained Sasha Banks. Ali shrugs off some headlocks to start as Kelly recaps both guys’ injury histories. A wristlock doesn’t get Ali anywhere so he knees Fury in the head and gets two off a basement dropkick. Back up and Fury rolls him into the corner (because in today’s wrestling, it’s all about doing something to send someone into the corner), followed by a belly to back for two.
Ali comes back with a gutwrench sitout powerbomb for two of his own before taking Fury outside for a t-bone suplex on the floor. Back in and Fury grabs the referee’s foot for a distraction to bring Ali’s head off the top, setting up a Pop Up Sitout Powerbomb for the pin on Ali at 5:55.
Rating: C. You can see the problem with the tournament from here: there’s no reason for these people to be fighting and I have almost no idea who any of them are. It might be cool if someone stands out over the rest but this was two guys doing moves to each other for a few minutes before one of them got a pin. I need more than that to care about a match and especially a tournament.
Here are Veda Scott and Cedric Alexander to brag about their victory in their lawsuit against Ring of Honor. Jonathan Gresham got lucky to beat Alexander, who deserves shots at the best talent in the world. That means an open challenge.
Cedric Alexander vs. Cheeseburger
Cheeseburger goes right for him to start and actually gets two off a quick rollup. Alexander’s fireman’s carry is broken up and a victory roll gets another near fall. A springboard knee to the head drops Cedric but the running palm strike is countered into the Lumbar Check for the easy pin on Cheeseburger at 1:42.
Post match Cedric keeps beating on Cheeseburger until Jonathan Gresham comes out for the save. Veda sets up an impromptu match, which she can just do.
Cedric Alexander vs. Jonathan Gresham
Gresham follows the Cheeseburger plan by trying an early rollup, sending Cedric out to the floor. Back in and Cedric quickly bails again as this is barely a match. Cedric comes in again but walks into an Octopus Hold, drawing in Veda for the DQ at 1:45.
Alexander beats up Gresham after the match until referees make the save.
Here’s the House of Truth to find out who Jay Lethal will be defending against at the Anniversary Show. Nigel McGuinness is in the ring and talks about how many big wins Lethal has had in recent months, including AJ Styles and Michael Elgin. That brings him to the next challenger, which makes Nigel thinking of Kyle O’Reilly. That’s fine with Lethal because he’s beaten Kyle already but Nigel wasn’t finished. Kyle is indeed great, but he was defeated by Adam Cole at Final Battle, which makes Cole the new #1 contender.
This brings out Cole who says it’s Story Time. He knows his battles with Kyle are over and that means O’Reilly will never be challenging for the World Title again. Lethal may have some great victories as champion but Cole isn’t on that list. Cole promises to win the title in Las Vegas but Nigel isn’t done. It’s true that Cole is the #1 contender, but Kyle isn’t done with Cole yet. Unless Adam is scared, there’s no reason to not make this a triple threat match.
Cue Kyle who is thankful for the title shot at the end of February, but what about the time between now and then? He wants a piece of both guys in Charlotte (the show is in Concord but close enough) so Nigel makes it ReDRagon vs. Jay Lethal/Adam Cole for some point in the near future.
We recap Silas Young vs. Dalton Castle and the saga over the Boys.
Silas talks about teaching the Boys to be like men for three months, but then along comes Dalton Castle to manipulate them into changing back. The Boys have one more chance to become men and that’s it for them.
Jay Briscoe vs. Michael Elgin
Mark Briscoe is out for commentary but here’s Moose to interrupt. If the World Title can be a three way, why can’t this match be one too? They do at least mention that Nigel signed off on the change.
Jay Briscoe vs. Michael Elgin vs. Moose
Briscoe Cactus Clotheslines Moose out to the floor so Elgin follows them out with a flip dive. Moose is left on the floor as Elgin puts Jay up in a delayed vertical. Elgin doesn’t even drop him when Moose kicks him in the ribs so Moose waits until Jay is down before bicycle kicking Elgin in the jaw. Moose and Jay slug it out until Briscoe kicks him in the face for two as we take a break.
Back with Elgin apron superplexing Briscoe until Moose breaks it up. That’s not cool with Elgin so he turns Moose’s superplex attempt into a slingshot Tower of Power to put everyone down. Elgin slips off Moose’s shoulders and lifts him up into a powerbomb for two as Jay makes the save. Briscoe gets two on Elgin off a Death Valley Driver, only to have Moose spear Briscoe down. That leaves Elgin and Moose to clothesline each other until Elgin clotheslines Jay instead. Elgin goes after Moose though, allowing Jay to backslide Michael for the pin at 9:37.
Rating: C+. Nice hard hitting match here though it was really just three alternating singles matches with the occasional big spot thrown in. Still though, that’s all you need a lot of the time as everyone was beating on everyone with bigger and bigger shots. Moose really didn’t need to be there but at least it protects Elgin a bit.
Post match Elgin says Mark was out here backing up his brother mentally, so why not make it a tag match at the Anniversary Show with Elgin teaming up with Hiroshi Tanahashi? That’s quite the jump to get to the match but the Briscoes agree to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. I liked the show but the Cedric Alexander stuff in the middle really didn’t do anything for me, much like that whole story. I’m still not sure where it’s supposed to go but beating Cheeseburger didn’t make me care about Alexander. It’s still an entertaining show though and goes by quickly, which is all you can ask for.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Explaining why HHH was one of the best options to win the Rumble.
NXT
Date: January 27, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
Tonight is a big night as we find out the #1 contender for the NXT Title with the title shot potentially coming at Takeover: Dallas over Wrestlemania weekend. We have Baron Corbin vs. Sami Zayn vs. Samoa Joe in a triple threat match with the winner getting a shot at some point in the future. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
American Alpha vs. Blake and Murphy
The announcers accuse Bliss of staring at Jordan as he starts with Murphy. Jason gets his kick to the ribs caught but keeps jumping over the attempted legsweeps. It’s off to Gable to start in on the arm but a hair pull stops his twisting. Blake comes in and is taken down just as fast as Gable is clearly just having fun with both of them in there. Chad dives over him a few times into some armdrags and throws, followed by a crucifix for two.
We get the GABLE chants to the Kurt Angle tune until Murphy claims a knee injury. Of course it’s a gold bricking job as he waves Murphy over for a distraction to set up a chop block on Gable. It’s time to start in on the leg until Gable kicks Murphy over the top and out to the floor for a crash. The hot tag brings in Jordan for suplexes all around, capped off by Grand Amplitude on Blake at 7:23.
Rating: C+. It’s clear that American Alpha is about five steps ahead of everyone else in the division but we’re likely going to wait a bit before they get to go after the titles. At least we get to be entertained while we wait for them to go for the titles though as this was a clinic on dismantling a lower level team. Fun stuff here.
Emma is ready for Carmella next week because Bayley carried the team last week. Carmella has never actually done anything around here and she even lost to Blue Pants.
Stills of Sami Zayn entering the Royal Rumble.
Video on Asuka.
Nia Jax vs. Liv Morgan
Eva Marie is out with Jax as we still wait to know why they’re associated. Morgan tries to power Jax around to start and gets caught in an easy cobra clutch. A jawbreaker staggers Jax a bit, only to have a side slam set up the legdrop for the pin at 2:10.
Carmella is ready for Emma next week and promises to beat her all alone. Enzo and Cass aren’t impressed by Dash and Dawson either and promises to take care of them as soon as they can.
Video on Baron Corbin.
We get the same sinister Vaudevillains vignette from last week.
Bull Dempsey vs. Alex Riley
The fans chant WELCOME BACK as Bull does jumping jacks. Riley takes him down to start and we’re in an early chinlock. Bull pops up with left hands but walks into a spinebuster, followed by a knee to the face to give Riley the pin at 2:07.
After a break, Riley says he’s tired of watching NXT and never hearing his name mentioned.
Elias Samson vs. John Skyler
Samson whips him into the corner to start and scores with a quick dropkick. A right hand drops Skyler and Samson sits in the corner ala Raven. Back up and Samson grabs a very fast swinging neckbreaker for the pin at 1:57.
The Hype Bros aren’t impressed by the Vaudevillains’ new videos. This turns into a discussion of Mojo watching Ryder sleep.
Video on Samoa Joe.
We look at Finn Balor vs. Apollo Crews from a few months back where Corbin interfered to break it up. They fight again in a non-title match next week.
Baron Corbin vs. Samoa Joe vs. Sami Zayn
Winner is #1 contender. They circle each other to start until Corbin hits Joe in the face for a bit of a surprise. Sami low bridges Baron to the floor but Joe breaks up the dive and pulls Zayn to the floor. Baron gets a boot to the chest to keep Joe in control and Sami gets punched down in the corner. A knee drop misses Sami but Corbin comes back in to jump Sami from behind.
We take a break and come back with Joe still on the floor and Corbin charging into an elbow in the corner. That means it’s time for Joe to come back in, only to be taken down by Sami. Corbin and Joe are knocked outside and it’s finally time to connect with the running flip dive. Back in and Corbin grabs a quick Deep Six for two on Sami, only to get kicked in the face by Joe. Sami fights out of the Muscle Buster and grabs the Blue Thunder Bomb for two on Corbin.
The kickout lets Joe pull Sami to the floor for a quick Koquina Clutch before walking into End of Days. Sami dives back in to break up the cover and Corbin is livid. He pounds on Sami in the corner but runs into the exploder, followed by the Helluva Kick with Joe making the save this time. Joe gets sent to the floor so Sami puts Corbin in a Sharpshooter with Joe coming back in to add a Crossface. Corbin taps at 15:33 and we’ve got two winners.
Rating: B. If this means we get Joe vs. Sami down the line, I have zero issues with this finish. Corbin gets to save some face by getting caught in a double submission which would make almost anyone tap so everyone comes out looking strong. Really solid main event here and another good story being told.
Both guys say they won so here’s GM William Regal to say he’ll have to review the tape and make a decision on this controversy.
Overall Rating: B. Another good week here and again we have more stuff to look forward to next week. They’re really nailing these ideas as we get ready for the big show down in Dallas. The ending has be looking forward to the fallout which should be another awesome match between Sami and Joe. As usual, building to good wrestling is the right idea and NXT keeps nailing it.
Results
America Alpha b. Blake and Murphy – Grand Amplitude to Blake
Nia Jax b. Liv Morgan – Legdrop
Alex Riley b. Bull Dempsey – Knee to the jaw
Elias Samson b. John Skyler – Swinging neckbreaker
Sami Zayn and Samoa Joe b. Baron Corbin – Sharpshooter and Crossface at the same time
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Monday Nitro #256
Date: September 4, 2000
Location: Reunion Arena, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jeremy Borash, Mark Madden
This is a special (kind of) show for me as I remembered hearing about WarGames 2000 on Thunder and wanting to see it. Being a moron of twelve at the time, I stayed home to watch that while Monday Night Raw was taking place ten minutes from my house and a buddy of mine had an extra ticket. To this day I can’t explain what I was thinking. Let’s get to it.
On a side note: this is five years to the day that Nitro debuted.
We open with a video on tonight’s big triple cage match with the teams announced. It’s a four on four match with the World Title on the line, which already gives us a lapse in logic. The match is also called Russo’s Revenge because WARGAMES isn’t MANLY enough.
Team Russo (Russo/Nash/Jarrett/Steiner) are coming to the ring.
New opening sequence.
Tag Team Titles: Insane Clown Posse vs. Juventud Guerrera/Rey Mysterio Jr.
The Clowns are challenging for reasons I’ll never understand. Konnan does his intro but gets jumped from behind to get things going. It’s a brawl to start with Rey dropkicking Violent J to the floor for a double dive from the champs. Back in and Shaggy dropkicks Juvy out of the air to let the Clowns take over.
Borash to Konnan and Disqo on commentary: “Do the ICP have it like that?” Somehow this turns into a discussion of Richard Gere as Shaggy takes Air Juvy (Poetry in Motion) and a Bronco Buster from Rey, only to have the Clowns pop up like it was nothing. J presses Rey over his head but gets dropkicked down, setting up a double dropkick from the champs. What’s Up with a legdrop instead of a headbutt puts J down to retain the titles.
Rating: C. Not a bad match here as the Clowns were kept to a minimum and mainly just had Rey and Juvy do all the work. The Clowns aren’t the worst in the ring but they definitely need someone to walk them through the match. I’m still not sure why the Animals turned face but at least Rey and Juvy, the most natural underdog team ever, aren’t supposed to be intimidating anymore.
Team Canada is in the gym and Storm is putting Major Gunns through boot camp. Gunns has to be taught to work as hard as a Canadian, which is nothing more than a reason to have her running on a treadmill.
Booker T., The Cat and Ms. Jones (in a neck brace) leave their hotel.
The triple cage is lowered way too early because here’s Russo, flanked by the Thrillers, with something to say. In case you’ve never seen it, the structure is the Cell with a hardcore (weapons cage) on top with a one man cage on top of that for one of the biggest things you’ll see in wrestling. Russo takes a quick shot at the Dallas Cowboys before explaining the idea of how you win this mess. Unlike Slamboree, you have to climb the ladder and get the belt at the top of the cage and then bring it back down and go out the door.
Tonight it’s going to be the babyface team against the heel team (his words), though he claims that Team Russo will be the babyfaces. Also there’s been an injunction that means Cat has no power. Therefore, the heels (as in Goldberg/Sting/Cat/Booker T.), all have to win qualifying matches to get into WarGames. If Goldberg actually wins, Russo will waive the no contact clause. It’s going to be so big that Nash is going to hand Russo the World Title on a plate. This brings out Nash who doesn’t look pleased. Yeah I’m sure.
Nash says this isn’t how things work because his title isn’t on the line unless he says it’s on the line. He only has to defend it once a month and maybe he’ll do it on the 29th day at the 11th hour if he feels like it. Russo says he’s the boss but Nash says in this cage, he’s Russo’s daddy. The lights go out and here’s Sting coming through a hole in the ring. Nash flips Russo off and leaves, allowing Sting to get in Russo’s face and say it’s showtime. No contact of course because that’s Vince Russo but whatever.
Sting turns back around so Russo climbs a ladder to get to the second cage. Sting chases him up but Scott Steiner and Jeff Jarrett come in. The Thrillers come in and move the ladder so here are Booker and the Cat to take them out. Russo uses the numbers game to get down but here’s Goldberg (fresh out of the desert, which hasn’t been mentioned yet) to chase him off. Geez people. You’re having an eight person triple cage match later and you felt the need to have a big segment inside the cage as well? On five days’ notice? Really?
Post break (and recap), Steiner and Jarrett yell at Russo for ticking Nash off.
Jeremy Borash is bald and we actually get a video of the Nitro Girls shaving his head. This was something about a ratings bet with Russo that isn’t elaborated on, thank goodness.
Here are the Harris Brothers with some footage to show us. It’s a clip of them going to a bar where Kronik is drinking and starting a fight. This has nothing on the Friendly Tap.
Shane Douglas wants Goldberg in a qualifying match so Russo grants the wish to get rid of him. The catch is Shane wants the Thrillers but Torrie says he doesn’t need them. Torrie and Shane leave so Russo sends the Thrillers out to keep an eye on him.
WarGames Qualifying Match: Sting vs. Great Muta/Vampiro
I’m assuming Muta and Vampiro can get into the cage if they win. Muta and Vampiro double team him to start but Sting clotheslines Vampiro to the floor. Back in and Vampiro grabs Sting but takes the Mist to the face by mistake. Muta is sent outside and a Death Drop pins Vampiro in just over a minute.
Post match the Clowns come out to yell at Muta but nothing happens.
Major Gunns, now drenched in sweat, is on another exercise machine and the camera just happens to be looking down at her in a low cut top.
Russo makes Stevie Ray wrestle tonight by threatening to take away his Thunder commentary job.
Jarrett tells Nash to get over his issues with Russo. Nash threatens to switch teams tonight.
WarGames Qualifying Match: Booker T. vs. Stevie Ray
Stevie says this is for the fans instead of Russo. Booker gives Russo his catchphrase and Stevie jumps him from behind to take over early on. Ray sends him face first into the steps for two before bending Booker’s arms back to slow things down. Back up and Booker hits a quick forearm to set up the ax kick. The Harlem Side Kick is caught in a kind of powerbomb but the Slap Jack is countered with a backdrop. The Book End sends Booker to the main event in a hurry.
Post match Booker yells at Stevie for jumping him. The explanation: suckas gots to know and a hug. Ok then.
Kronik asks the Jung Dragons where the Harris Brothers are but beats them up for not speaking English. Totally not a Kai En Tai knockoff.
Back from a break and Kronik triple chokeslams 3 Count for fun. They want the Harris Brothers right now but get Jeff Jarrett instead. The tag match isn’t happening tonight but here’s a handicap match for them instead.
WarGames Qualifying Match: The Cat vs. Kronik
Cat says they should be getting together to fight Russo and company. Clark agrees and goes after Jeff, leaving Cat to roll Adams up for two. The beatdown is on but Cat drops to the floor to save Ms. Jones from Jarrett. Kronik pulls Cat back inside for High Times and the pin in less than a minute and a half. So Kronik is in the match instead.
Russo and Steiner are thrilled by the result……until it’s announced that Kronik advances instead. YOU MADE THE MATCH AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THE RULES??? You can’t make this stuff up.
WarGames Qualifying Match: Shane Douglas vs. Goldberg
Torrie, really not very good on the mic yet, yells about being stuck in Dallas for the night. Shane gets shoved down to start and a quick legbar sends him out to the floor. Goldberg fires off a forearm but hits the post instead of Shane, giving Douglas a target. Back in and Shane works on a wristlock which goes as well as you would expect it to go. A clothesline with the bar arm drops Shane (no selling of course) and here are the Thrillers. They’re beaten down just as quickly with Reno taking a Roll the Dice. Douglas loads up the chain but gets speared down to set up the Jackhammer for the pin.
Rating: D. For an evil genius, Russo does some really stupid stuff. With that win, Goldberg is in the cage and can beat on Russo, all because of Russo’s doing. The match itself was as good as Shane Douglas vs. Goldberg in an overbooked match was going to be though at least we could look at Torrie.
Russo panics because he doesn’t think thinks through. Nash tells him he has an agenda tonight and Russo is foiled again.
Major Gunns is swimming for her final test to become Canadian. Well they might have been too subtle earlier so just put her in a swimsuit and be done with it. The Misfits are watching with binoculars from all of twenty feet away. Pamela Paulshock is thrown in as well so here are the Misfits to fight the Canadians in the pool.
Russo puts Vito in a gauntlet match against the Thrillers. That’s their final chance.
Arn Anderson is asked about whether he’ll show up for David’s wedding next week. After saying Pamela looks good soaking wet (he has a point), he wonders why someone like David would want to get married anyway. It’s in Horsemen country though so sure they’ll show up. The fact that the only thing they build up for weeks is likely another chance to humiliate Ric Flair is very telling about WCW.
Big Vito vs. Natural Born Thrillers
Vito says he doesn’t sweat anyone so bring it on. The Thrillers do their catchphrases so Vito turns it into gay jokes. After even more filler yelling at each other, Sanders says the five of them (there are six) will fight at the same time. Vito fights with the stick ball bat for as long as he can until Jindrak and O’Haire kick him in the face. The beating is on as you would expect and it’s a parade of finishers, capped off with the Seanton Bomb for the easy pin.
The Thrillers beat him down even more post match.
The teams have meetings in the back.
The good guys, minus Goldberg, are ready.
WCW World Title: WarGames 2000: Vince Russo/Kevin Nash/Scott Steiner/Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting/Kronik/Booker T./Goldberg
Nash is defending and the teams are only a thing for the timed interval (two minutes) entrances. The match can end at anytime and it’s Jarrett vs. Sting to start. They fight on the floor next to the ladder (needed to climb to the second cage) before throwing the ladder inside. Sting sends him into the ladder and it’s Scott Steiner in because the heels won the coin toss. Wait didn’t Russo say his team was the babyface team? So officially, the faces won the coin toss? Leave it to Russo to screw up the easiest idea in wrestling (which I believe he did in TNA’s Lethal Lockdown match as well).
Steiner hits Sting in the ribs to take over and brings in a bigger ladder but stops to beat on Sting even more. Kronik, meaning both of them, come in to “even” things up. Steiner heads up to the second cage, leaving Jarrett to take High Times, allowing Kronik to follow Steiner up top. A double gorilla press drops Steiner as the question becomes if Adams or Clark wins the title for themselves since they entered the match as a unit.
Russo comes in next but has the Harris Brothers climb the Cell and go inside the second cage after Kronik. As you might expect, Sting beats Russo down with ease and puts him in the Scorpion (of course Russo never taps). Now it’s Nash coming in as the heel/face order is thrown out. Nash goes after everyone and grabs Russo (standing with no issues after being in the Scorpion) by the throat but Steiner breaks it up. The Harris Brothers and Kronik are brawling in the crowd, apparently with Kronik having been eliminated. In WarGames.
Now Steiner breaks up Nash’s choke on Jarrett as Booker comes in. Booker ax kicks Steiner so Russo hits him from behind like a moron, earning himself an ax kick to the helmet. Yeah he’s wearing a helmet. Nash decks Booker and everyone still in the match is in the bottom cage. The heels all beat down Booker and Sting until Goldberg comes out to complete the field. Jarrett and Steiner take the bullets for Russo, leaving him to hit Goldberg in the back with the ball bat to drop Goldberg.
Booker goes up top for the belt (Yeah remember that?) as Nash stands next to the door. Well that’s smart, even though you could conceivably just climb down the side of the cage to get to the floor. Somewhere in there Goldberg was handcuffed to the corner. You would think they would have pointed that out earlier. Sting, Jarrett and Steiner go up to the second cage, leaving Booker to go up and get the belt. Booker starts hitting people with the belt to get down but Sting has been handcuffed to the weapons cage, allowing Steiner to take the belt away from Booker and blast him in the face.
Madden admits there are no teams in this mess as the belt falls through the hole. Russo picks it up and taunts Goldberg, allowing the Cat to come in and kick Russo in the head. Nash lays out Cat with a Jackknife but Goldberg breaks the handcuffs and cleans house. He picks up the belt and goes to leave but Bret Hart appears and slams the door on his face. Russo has the belt free and clear until Nash grabs him by the shirt. They hug, it was a swerve, and Nash retains.
Rating: D+. Let’s get this out of the way to start: this wasn’t WarGames. Russo can call it that all he wants but this had as much to do with WarGames as the set of collectable plates that McDonalds put out in 1998 to promote Hercules. This was a big cage match with timed intervals and that’s about it for WarGames connections.
That being said, the match was enough of a mess that it wasn’t boring and at least presented something that could be interesting if someone competent was booking the thing. It would have been a lot better if it had been just going up and getting the belt without having to get back down but you knew Nash wasn’t going up that high. It’s total insanity of course, but were you expecting anything else?
Here’s the thing though: it’s a huge waste of time. Think about it: this match was announced last Wednesday, had its main story set up earlier in the night, and the match happened tonight. Nothing changes in the storylines, Nash is still facing Booker at the pay per view, and it was all a big swerve for a few hours. At least it was memorable though, which is Russo’s definition of good.
Overall Rating: D. The main event helped a bit but an hour and a half of nothing matches before the main event isn’t the best idea with one more Nitro before the pay per view. However, I’d rather watch a somewhat interesting one off show than the traditional insanity that I have to put up with when they try to do multiple storylines. On a sidenote: where was Mike Awesome? He was part of the team on Thunder and I don’t think he was even mentioned here. That’s probably best for him actually.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Impact Wrestling
Date: January 26, 2016
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
Tonight is a special show with the annual Feast or Fired match. In other words, there are four briefcases hung above the ring. You climb a corner and grab a briefcase and try your luck. Three cases contain title shots (World Title, Tag Team Title and King of the Mountain Title) and one pink slip. The big moment is then finding out who has what. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the last man standing match with Matt Hardy beating Ethan Carter III for the World Title in a double turn.
Here’s Jeff Hardy to open things up. He saw what happened last week and it made him sick. That’s why he needs answers right now so the new World Champion needs to get out here right now. Matt’s new music starts off with him saying “I AM ICONIC.” Oh sweet goodness this is going to be a long day. Matt comes out with his wife Reby Sky and Tyrus, who is carrying Matt’s son. Jeff says this is a family issue so it needs to be just the two of them.
Reby laughs that off because she and Matt are a real family. Where was Jeff when the world was turning their back on Matt? It’s time for Matt to stop giving and start taking. Jeff calls all of them some rather rude names and starts a WHY MATT WHY chant. Matt laughs off the fans and says it’s not his fault that Jeff is a cripple. Now Jeff is just the other Hardy and that’s not something he’s going to be able to understand. However, Jeff is now cleared to wrestle so what about a title match tonight? Matt shakes his head and says he washes his hands of everything that happens tonight.
The roster talks about Feast or Fired and explains the basic concept.
Matt vs. Jeff is announced for later with the title on the line.
Feast or Fired
James Storm, Robert Roode, Aiden O’Shea, Bram, Drew Galloway, Chris Melendez, Eric Young, Grado, Jesse Godderz, Robbie E., Eli Drake, Rockstar Spud
Eric is King of the Mountain Champion so he might get a shot at his own title. It’s a huge brawl to start with various people trying to go up after the briefcases but being pulled back down. Robbie dives over the top to dive onto Jesse. Melendez, now in long pants to hide his metal leg, clotheslines Aiden to the floor but gets suplexed by Eric. Roode hits a Blockbuster on Bram but Spud escapes the Roode Bomb. The second attempt sends Spud flying over the top onto a pile of people and the ring is cleared out. Grado crotches O’Shea to make a save and goes up to pull down the first briefcase as we take a break.
Back with everyone still brawling, including Drew clotheslining Bram and Eric down at the same time. Drake ties Galloway in the Tree of Woe, only to have Drew sit up into a German suplex to throw Eli down and grab another briefcase. Young and Spud go up but O’Shea pulls Spud down. Eric goes after Robbie instead and we get a Tower of Power (no longer Doom for some reason) with Melendez powerbombing the two of them down. A bad looking hurricanrana from Storm puts O’Shea down and Roode adds a top rope splash.
Jesse clotheslines Beer Money down but gets caught going up. The distraction lets Drake go up and pull down a third case. Bram and Young are the only ones left in the ring but beat up Melendez and Spud instead of climbing. The delay allows Beer Money to come in and clean house but Roode gets knocked off the top by Eric. Storm hits a Backstabber to pull Young off the top, followed by a Last Call to Bram. Roode gets back in and tells Storm to go get the case to end the match at 16:05.
Rating: D+. I never know how to rate this thing as it’s so all over the place and you only kind of have winners since eight people don’t win and a fourth is out of the company. The match didn’t have any major high spots because we’re just kind of waiting around until the last case is brought down by the fourth winner.
Kurt Angle checks on Jeff Hardy, who says he’s tired of Reby being in Matt’s ear lately. Yeah screw that wife nonsense.
X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Mandrews vs. DJZ
Tigre is defending. It’s all over the place to start with the champ being sent outside, leaving Mandrews to backflip away from a charge and knock DJZ down with a dropkick. Tigre comes back in and rolls up DJZ while he’s backsliding Mandrews. That’s followed by an Indian Deathlock on DJZ and a Gory Stretch on Mandrews at the same time, only to have the champ sent outside again.
DJZ dropkicks Tigre off the apron and scores with a big flip dive, followed by Mandrews’ skateboarding down the ramp into a headscissors spot. Back in and DJZ gets two off a reverse hurricanrana on Mandrews. Tigre gets up and throws DJZ out, setting up a Spanish Fly (top rope C4) for the pin on Mandrews at 6:26.
Rating: C. DO SOMETHING NEW! I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve seen these people fight and I never need to see it again. They’ve reached the point where you can call the spots because they’ve done them so many times. From what I can find, Tigre has had one singles title defense since July. Everything else has been a multi-man title defense and each one has had DJZ involved. Bring in some jobbers or something but find a way to make this more interesting.
Post match Gregory Helms comes out to say this company was built on the X-Division but Tigre’s time as champion is over. Apparently that means a title match next week.
Awesome Kong tells the Dollhouse to stay in the back while she takes someone to school.
Eli Drake is worried about what’s in his briefcase. Godderz tells him not to worry so Drake unlocks the case and teases looking inside.
Angle comes up to see Tyrus and Matt to ask what’s going on. Matt says he’s building a brand but Angle says that brand is tearing this company down. That’s not cool with Matt because Kurt is one of the two people he respects so don’t ruin that.
Awesome Kong vs. Velvet Sky
Sky hits a quick jawbreaker and starts kicking away at the leg because that’s what everyone does to giants. A clothesline drops Velvet to the floor and the ring skirt is pulled off on the way down. Back in and Velvet fires off more kicks to the leg but has to avoid a splash. Sky gets two off a running bulldog but gets run over with ease. Now the splash connects, followed by the Implant Buster for the pin at 3:40.
Rating: D. Just a squash here, even though Kong already lost the big showdown with Kim. As usual, this division is little more than a stable war with Gail Kim on top because she’s almost always Knockouts Champion. It feels like we’ve seen this same stuff for years now and I have no idea what I’m supposed to get out of all this stuff all over again.
Post match Kong goes after Sky even more but Madison Rayne runs in. This brings out the Dollhouse for the real beatdown, capped off by Kong’s middle rope splash to Sky.
The Wolves want to fight Abyss/Crazzy Steve for the sneak attack last week.
It’s time for the Feast or Fired reveal because waiting until next week is a bad idea around here. Before we get the openings, Michael Bennett and Maria come in and say one of these guys is going to need a miracle. He’s always in for a good train wreck though so he’s going to sit back and watch. Drew isn’t cool with that because he’s not the kind of a guy who is going to stand around waiting on something to happen. Galloway says Maria is the brains of the outfit and a fight is teased but Mike and Maria leave. Back to the reveals with Drake volunteering to go first. Inside his case: King of the Mountain Title shot. We’ll finish this later.
The Wolves want Crazzy Steve out here right now to get their title back from Crazzy Steve and whoever helped him steal them last week (it was pretty clearly Abyss). A woman comes out in something like a Harley Quinn outfit saying everything will decay. This brings out Crazzy Steve, followed by Abyss as we take a break.
Wolves vs. Abyss/Crazzy Steve
This is joined in progress and it’s not clear if the titles are on the line. Abyss splashes Eddie in the corner and brings in Steve to fishhook the jaws. It’s quickly back to Abyss who allows the tag to Davey but takes him down just as fast. Steve comes back in and bites Davey’s boot, which apparently hurts.
Not that it matters as Davey kicks him off and brings in Eddie to clean house. Steve bites his way out of the Backpack Stunner but gets thrown into the air for the kick to the chest. The creepy woman appears on the stage with the titles though to distract Davey, leaving Eddie to take the Black Hole Slam. Steve mists Davey and that’s a DQ at 6:03.
Rating: D+. Well I guess it’s better than nothing. They have to build up someone to feud with the Wolves after most of the other teams have left. However, it’s pretty clear that we’re going to see Beer Money vs. the Wolves in the big showdown at some point so this is really just a filler. At least it’s better than two generic guys though.
Post match Steve puts Davey in the crossface chickenwing while the woman bites Richards’ shoulder.
Back to the briefcase reveals as JB explains the rules for probably the fifth time. Storm goes next and promises to give Roode the World Title shot if he finds it. James is distraught by what he finds but it’s a Tag Team Title shot. Drew opens his case and finds the World Title shot, meaning Grado is fired, which takes a second to kick in. A lot of sadness ensues until Grado leaves the room.
TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy
Matt is defending and is now named Big Money Matt during the big match intros. The bell rings but here’s Eric freaking Young to yell about how he should get the title shot. As he yells, Bram comes in from behind and the beatdown is on. Officially the “match” ended at 39 seconds but there was never any contact.
Matt leaves Jeff to get beaten down and Young pulls out a chair. Beer Money makes the save but Steve and Abyss run in to keep the villains in control. Roode and Storm clear them out as well but the four of them head up the ramp, leaving Matt to stand over Jeff. Cue Kurt Angle but Tyrus decks him from behind. Matt and company leave, allowing Eric to piledrive Jeff through the table to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. Well they certainly didn’t bore me tonight. The Hardys fighting isn’t interesting to me in the slightest and you could tell it wasn’t going anywhere tonight because they’re coming up on the European tour, meaning it’s time for Jeff to go away for a little while. The rest of the show was all over the place and they did a good enough job with Feast or Fired, though again one of the same issues comes through: TNA doesn’t know how to take their time.
Matt vs. Jeff and Feast or Fired could have been built up for weeks but instead they’re both blown off in the span of a single night. Slow things down for a bit and let these stories build up so there’s a bit more, forgive me, impact. This happens way too often around here and it gets annoying as almost nothing has the chance to build up and give you a big payoff.
Results
Grado, Drew Galloway, Eli Drake and James Storm won Feast or Fired
Tigre Uno b. DJZ and Mandrews – Spanish Fly to Mandrews
Awesome Kong b. Velvet Sky – Implant Buster
Wolves b. Abyss/Crazzy Steve via DQ when Steve sprayed mist in Davey’s face
Jeff Hardy b. Matt Hardy via DQ when Bram interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at: