Monday Nitro #256
Date: September 4, 2000
Location: Reunion Arena, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jeremy Borash, Mark Madden

This is a special (kind of) show for me as I remembered hearing about WarGames 2000 on Thunder and wanting to see it. Being a moron of twelve at the time, I stayed home to watch that while Monday Night Raw was taking place ten minutes from my house and a buddy of mine had an extra ticket. To this day I can’t explain what I was thinking. Let’s get to it.

On a side note: this is five years to the day that Nitro debuted.

We open with a video on tonight’s big triple cage match with the teams announced. It’s a four on four match with the World Title on the line, which already gives us a lapse in logic. The match is also called Russo’s Revenge because WARGAMES isn’t MANLY enough.

Team Russo (Russo/Nash/Jarrett/Steiner) are coming to the ring.

New opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Insane Clown Posse vs. Juventud Guerrera/Rey Mysterio Jr.

The Clowns are challenging for reasons I’ll never understand. Konnan does his intro but gets jumped from behind to get things going. It’s a brawl to start with Rey dropkicking Violent J to the floor for a double dive from the champs. Back in and Shaggy dropkicks Juvy out of the air to let the Clowns take over.

Borash to Konnan and Disqo on commentary: “Do the ICP have it like that?” Somehow this turns into a discussion of Richard Gere as Shaggy takes Air Juvy (Poetry in Motion) and a Bronco Buster from Rey, only to have the Clowns pop up like it was nothing. J presses Rey over his head but gets dropkicked down, setting up a double dropkick from the champs. What’s Up with a legdrop instead of a headbutt puts J down to retain the titles.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here as the Clowns were kept to a minimum and mainly just had Rey and Juvy do all the work. The Clowns aren’t the worst in the ring but they definitely need someone to walk them through the match. I’m still not sure why the Animals turned face but at least Rey and Juvy, the most natural underdog team ever, aren’t supposed to be intimidating anymore.

Team Canada is in the gym and Storm is putting Major Gunns through boot camp. Gunns has to be taught to work as hard as a Canadian, which is nothing more than a reason to have her running on a treadmill.

Booker T., The Cat and Ms. Jones (in a neck brace) leave their hotel.

The triple cage is lowered way too early because here’s Russo, flanked by the Thrillers, with something to say. In case you’ve never seen it, the structure is the Cell with a hardcore (weapons cage) on top with a one man cage on top of that for one of the biggest things you’ll see in wrestling. Russo takes a quick shot at the Dallas Cowboys before explaining the idea of how you win this mess. Unlike Slamboree, you have to climb the ladder and get the belt at the top of the cage and then bring it back down and go out the door.

Tonight it’s going to be the babyface team against the heel team (his words), though he claims that Team Russo will be the babyfaces. Also there’s been an injunction that means Cat has no power. Therefore, the heels (as in Goldberg/Sting/Cat/Booker T.), all have to win qualifying matches to get into WarGames. If Goldberg actually wins, Russo will waive the no contact clause. It’s going to be so big that Nash is going to hand Russo the World Title on a plate. This brings out Nash who doesn’t look pleased. Yeah I’m sure.

Nash says this isn’t how things work because his title isn’t on the line unless he says it’s on the line. He only has to defend it once a month and maybe he’ll do it on the 29^th day at the 11^th hour if he feels like it. Russo says he’s the boss but Nash says in this cage, he’s Russo’s daddy. The lights go out and here’s Sting coming through a hole in the ring. Nash flips Russo off and leaves, allowing Sting to get in Russo’s face and say it’s showtime. No contact of course because that’s Vince Russo but whatever.

Sting turns back around so Russo climbs a ladder to get to the second cage. Sting chases him up but Scott Steiner and Jeff Jarrett come in. The Thrillers come in and move the ladder so here are Booker and the Cat to take them out. Russo uses the numbers game to get down but here’s Goldberg (fresh out of the desert, which hasn’t been mentioned yet) to chase him off. Geez people. You’re having an eight person triple cage match later and you felt the need to have a big segment inside the cage as well? On five days’ notice? Really?

Post break (and recap), Steiner and Jarrett yell at Russo for ticking Nash off.

Jeremy Borash is bald and we actually get a video of the Nitro Girls shaving his head. This was something about a ratings bet with Russo that isn’t elaborated on, thank goodness.

Here are the Harris Brothers with some footage to show us. It’s a clip of them going to a bar where Kronik is drinking and starting a fight. This has nothing on the Friendly Tap.

Shane Douglas wants Goldberg in a qualifying match so Russo grants the wish to get rid of him. The catch is Shane wants the Thrillers but Torrie says he doesn’t need them. Torrie and Shane leave so Russo sends the Thrillers out to keep an eye on him.

WarGames Qualifying Match: Sting vs. Great Muta/Vampiro

I’m assuming Muta and Vampiro can get into the cage if they win. Muta and Vampiro double team him to start but Sting clotheslines Vampiro to the floor. Back in and Vampiro grabs Sting but takes the Mist to the face by mistake. Muta is sent outside and a Death Drop pins Vampiro in just over a minute.

Post match the Clowns come out to yell at Muta but nothing happens.

Major Gunns, now drenched in sweat, is on another exercise machine and the camera just happens to be looking down at her in a low cut top.

Russo makes Stevie Ray wrestle tonight by threatening to take away his Thunder commentary job.

Jarrett tells Nash to get over his issues with Russo. Nash threatens to switch teams tonight.

WarGames Qualifying Match: Booker T. vs. Stevie Ray

Stevie says this is for the fans instead of Russo. Booker gives Russo his catchphrase and Stevie jumps him from behind to take over early on. Ray sends him face first into the steps for two before bending Booker’s arms back to slow things down. Back up and Booker hits a quick forearm to set up the ax kick. The Harlem Side Kick is caught in a kind of powerbomb but the Slap Jack is countered with a backdrop. The Book End sends Booker to the main event in a hurry.

Post match Booker yells at Stevie for jumping him. The explanation: suckas gots to know and a hug. Ok then.

Kronik asks the Jung Dragons where the Harris Brothers are but beats them up for not speaking English. Totally not a Kai En Tai knockoff.

Back from a break and Kronik triple chokeslams 3 Count for fun. They want the Harris Brothers right now but get Jeff Jarrett instead. The tag match isn’t happening tonight but here’s a handicap match for them instead.

WarGames Qualifying Match: The Cat vs. Kronik

Cat says they should be getting together to fight Russo and company. Clark agrees and goes after Jeff, leaving Cat to roll Adams up for two. The beatdown is on but Cat drops to the floor to save Ms. Jones from Jarrett. Kronik pulls Cat back inside for High Times and the pin in less than a minute and a half. So Kronik is in the match instead.

Russo and Steiner are thrilled by the result……until it’s announced that Kronik advances instead. YOU MADE THE MATCH AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THE RULES??? You can’t make this stuff up.

WarGames Qualifying Match: Shane Douglas vs. Goldberg

Torrie, really not very good on the mic yet, yells about being stuck in Dallas for the night. Shane gets shoved down to start and a quick legbar sends him out to the floor. Goldberg fires off a forearm but hits the post instead of Shane, giving Douglas a target. Back in and Shane works on a wristlock which goes as well as you would expect it to go. A clothesline with the bar arm drops Shane (no selling of course) and here are the Thrillers. They’re beaten down just as quickly with Reno taking a Roll the Dice. Douglas loads up the chain but gets speared down to set up the Jackhammer for the pin.

Rating: D. For an evil genius, Russo does some really stupid stuff. With that win, Goldberg is in the cage and can beat on Russo, all because of Russo’s doing. The match itself was as good as Shane Douglas vs. Goldberg in an overbooked match was going to be though at least we could look at Torrie.

Russo panics because he doesn’t think thinks through. Nash tells him he has an agenda tonight and Russo is foiled again.

Major Gunns is swimming for her final test to become Canadian. Well they might have been too subtle earlier so just put her in a swimsuit and be done with it. The Misfits are watching with binoculars from all of twenty feet away. Pamela Paulshock is thrown in as well so here are the Misfits to fight the Canadians in the pool.

Russo puts Vito in a gauntlet match against the Thrillers. That’s their final chance.

Arn Anderson is asked about whether he’ll show up for David’s wedding next week. After saying Pamela looks good soaking wet (he has a point), he wonders why someone like David would want to get married anyway. It’s in Horsemen country though so sure they’ll show up. The fact that the only thing they build up for weeks is likely another chance to humiliate Ric Flair is very telling about WCW.

Big Vito vs. Natural Born Thrillers

Vito says he doesn’t sweat anyone so bring it on. The Thrillers do their catchphrases so Vito turns it into gay jokes. After even more filler yelling at each other, Sanders says the five of them (there are six) will fight at the same time. Vito fights with the stick ball bat for as long as he can until Jindrak and O’Haire kick him in the face. The beating is on as you would expect and it’s a parade of finishers, capped off with the Seanton Bomb for the easy pin.

The Thrillers beat him down even more post match.

The teams have meetings in the back.

The good guys, minus Goldberg, are ready.

WCW World Title: WarGames 2000: Vince Russo/Kevin Nash/Scott Steiner/Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting/Kronik/Booker T./Goldberg

Nash is defending and the teams are only a thing for the timed interval (two minutes) entrances. The match can end at anytime and it’s Jarrett vs. Sting to start. They fight on the floor next to the ladder (needed to climb to the second cage) before throwing the ladder inside. Sting sends him into the ladder and it’s Scott Steiner in because the heels won the coin toss. Wait didn’t Russo say his team was the babyface team? So officially, the faces won the coin toss? Leave it to Russo to screw up the easiest idea in wrestling (which I believe he did in TNA’s Lethal Lockdown match as well).

Steiner hits Sting in the ribs to take over and brings in a bigger ladder but stops to beat on Sting even more. Kronik, meaning both of them, come in to “even” things up. Steiner heads up to the second cage, leaving Jarrett to take High Times, allowing Kronik to follow Steiner up top. A double gorilla press drops Steiner as the question becomes if Adams or Clark wins the title for themselves since they entered the match as a unit.

Russo comes in next but has the Harris Brothers climb the Cell and go inside the second cage after Kronik. As you might expect, Sting beats Russo down with ease and puts him in the Scorpion (of course Russo never taps). Now it’s Nash coming in as the heel/face order is thrown out. Nash goes after everyone and grabs Russo (standing with no issues after being in the Scorpion) by the throat but Steiner breaks it up. The Harris Brothers and Kronik are brawling in the crowd, apparently with Kronik having been eliminated. In WarGames.

Now Steiner breaks up Nash’s choke on Jarrett as Booker comes in. Booker ax kicks Steiner so Russo hits him from behind like a moron, earning himself an ax kick to the helmet. Yeah he’s wearing a helmet. Nash decks Booker and everyone still in the match is in the bottom cage. The heels all beat down Booker and Sting until Goldberg comes out to complete the field. Jarrett and Steiner take the bullets for Russo, leaving him to hit Goldberg in the back with the ball bat to drop Goldberg.

Booker goes up top for the belt (Yeah remember that?) as Nash stands next to the door. Well that’s smart, even though you could conceivably just climb down the side of the cage to get to the floor. Somewhere in there Goldberg was handcuffed to the corner. You would think they would have pointed that out earlier. Sting, Jarrett and Steiner go up to the second cage, leaving Booker to go up and get the belt. Booker starts hitting people with the belt to get down but Sting has been handcuffed to the weapons cage, allowing Steiner to take the belt away from Booker and blast him in the face.

Madden admits there are no teams in this mess as the belt falls through the hole. Russo picks it up and taunts Goldberg, allowing the Cat to come in and kick Russo in the head. Nash lays out Cat with a Jackknife but Goldberg breaks the handcuffs and cleans house. He picks up the belt and goes to leave but Bret Hart appears and slams the door on his face. Russo has the belt free and clear until Nash grabs him by the shirt. They hug, it was a swerve, and Nash retains.

Rating: D+. Let’s get this out of the way to start: this wasn’t WarGames. Russo can call it that all he wants but this had as much to do with WarGames as the set of collectable plates that McDonalds put out in 1998 to promote Hercules. This was a big cage match with timed intervals and that’s about it for WarGames connections.

That being said, the match was enough of a mess that it wasn’t boring and at least presented something that could be interesting if someone competent was booking the thing. It would have been a lot better if it had been just going up and getting the belt without having to get back down but you knew Nash wasn’t going up that high. It’s total insanity of course, but were you expecting anything else?

Here’s the thing though: it’s a huge waste of time. Think about it: this match was announced last Wednesday, had its main story set up earlier in the night, and the match happened tonight. Nothing changes in the storylines, Nash is still facing Booker at the pay per view, and it was all a big swerve for a few hours. At least it was memorable though, which is Russo’s definition of good.

Overall Rating: D. The main event helped a bit but an hour and a half of nothing matches before the main event isn’t the best idea with one more Nitro before the pay per view. However, I’d rather watch a somewhat interesting one off show than the traditional insanity that I have to put up with when they try to do multiple storylines. On a sidenote: where was Mike Awesome? He was part of the team on Thunder and I don’t think he was even mentioned here. That’s probably best for him actually.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 26, 2016
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Tonight is a special show with the annual Feast or Fired match. In other words, there are four briefcases hung above the ring. You climb a corner and grab a briefcase and try your luck. Three cases contain title shots (World Title, Tag Team Title and King of the Mountain Title) and one pink slip. The big moment is then finding out who has what. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the last man standing match with Matt Hardy beating Ethan Carter III for the World Title in a double turn.

Here’s Jeff Hardy to open things up. He saw what happened last week and it made him sick. That’s why he needs answers right now so the new World Champion needs to get out here right now. Matt’s new music starts off with him saying “I AM ICONIC.” Oh sweet goodness this is going to be a long day. Matt comes out with his wife Reby Sky and Tyrus, who is carrying Matt’s son. Jeff says this is a family issue so it needs to be just the two of them.

Reby laughs that off because she and Matt are a real family. Where was Jeff when the world was turning their back on Matt? It’s time for Matt to stop giving and start taking. Jeff calls all of them some rather rude names and starts a WHY MATT WHY chant. Matt laughs off the fans and says it’s not his fault that Jeff is a cripple. Now Jeff is just the other Hardy and that’s not something he’s going to be able to understand. However, Jeff is now cleared to wrestle so what about a title match tonight? Matt shakes his head and says he washes his hands of everything that happens tonight.

The roster talks about Feast or Fired and explains the basic concept.

Matt vs. Jeff is announced for later with the title on the line.

Feast or Fired

James Storm, Robert Roode, Aiden O’Shea, Bram, Drew Galloway, Chris Melendez, Eric Young, Grado, Jesse Godderz, Robbie E., Eli Drake, Rockstar Spud

Eric is King of the Mountain Champion so he might get a shot at his own title. It’s a huge brawl to start with various people trying to go up after the briefcases but being pulled back down. Robbie dives over the top to dive onto Jesse. Melendez, now in long pants to hide his metal leg, clotheslines Aiden to the floor but gets suplexed by Eric. Roode hits a Blockbuster on Bram but Spud escapes the Roode Bomb. The second attempt sends Spud flying over the top onto a pile of people and the ring is cleared out. Grado crotches O’Shea to make a save and goes up to pull down the first briefcase as we take a break.

Back with everyone still brawling, including Drew clotheslining Bram and Eric down at the same time. Drake ties Galloway in the Tree of Woe, only to have Drew sit up into a German suplex to throw Eli down and grab another briefcase. Young and Spud go up but O’Shea pulls Spud down. Eric goes after Robbie instead and we get a Tower of Power (no longer Doom for some reason) with Melendez powerbombing the two of them down. A bad looking hurricanrana from Storm puts O’Shea down and Roode adds a top rope splash.

Jesse clotheslines Beer Money down but gets caught going up. The distraction lets Drake go up and pull down a third case. Bram and Young are the only ones left in the ring but beat up Melendez and Spud instead of climbing. The delay allows Beer Money to come in and clean house but Roode gets knocked off the top by Eric. Storm hits a Backstabber to pull Young off the top, followed by a Last Call to Bram. Roode gets back in and tells Storm to go get the case to end the match at 16:05.

Rating: D+. I never know how to rate this thing as it’s so all over the place and you only kind of have winners since eight people don’t win and a fourth is out of the company. The match didn’t have any major high spots because we’re just kind of waiting around until the last case is brought down by the fourth winner.

Kurt Angle checks on Jeff Hardy, who says he’s tired of Reby being in Matt’s ear lately. Yeah screw that wife nonsense.

X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Mandrews vs. DJZ

Tigre is defending. It’s all over the place to start with the champ being sent outside, leaving Mandrews to backflip away from a charge and knock DJZ down with a dropkick. Tigre comes back in and rolls up DJZ while he’s backsliding Mandrews. That’s followed by an Indian Deathlock on DJZ and a Gory Stretch on Mandrews at the same time, only to have the champ sent outside again.

DJZ dropkicks Tigre off the apron and scores with a big flip dive, followed by Mandrews’ skateboarding down the ramp into a headscissors spot. Back in and DJZ gets two off a reverse hurricanrana on Mandrews. Tigre gets up and throws DJZ out, setting up a Spanish Fly (top rope C4) for the pin on Mandrews at 6:26.

Rating: C. DO SOMETHING NEW! I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve seen these people fight and I never need to see it again. They’ve reached the point where you can call the spots because they’ve done them so many times. From what I can find, Tigre has had one singles title defense since July. Everything else has been a multi-man title defense and each one has had DJZ involved. Bring in some jobbers or something but find a way to make this more interesting.

Post match Gregory Helms comes out to say this company was built on the X-Division but Tigre’s time as champion is over. Apparently that means a title match next week.

Awesome Kong tells the Dollhouse to stay in the back while she takes someone to school.

Eli Drake is worried about what’s in his briefcase. Godderz tells him not to worry so Drake unlocks the case and teases looking inside.

Angle comes up to see Tyrus and Matt to ask what’s going on. Matt says he’s building a brand but Angle says that brand is tearing this company down. That’s not cool with Matt because Kurt is one of the two people he respects so don’t ruin that.

Awesome Kong vs. Velvet Sky

Sky hits a quick jawbreaker and starts kicking away at the leg because that’s what everyone does to giants. A clothesline drops Velvet to the floor and the ring skirt is pulled off on the way down. Back in and Velvet fires off more kicks to the leg but has to avoid a splash. Sky gets two off a running bulldog but gets run over with ease. Now the splash connects, followed by the Implant Buster for the pin at 3:40.

Rating: D. Just a squash here, even though Kong already lost the big showdown with Kim. As usual, this division is little more than a stable war with Gail Kim on top because she’s almost always Knockouts Champion. It feels like we’ve seen this same stuff for years now and I have no idea what I’m supposed to get out of all this stuff all over again.

Post match Kong goes after Sky even more but Madison Rayne runs in. This brings out the Dollhouse for the real beatdown, capped off by Kong’s middle rope splash to Sky.

The Wolves want to fight Abyss/Crazzy Steve for the sneak attack last week.

It’s time for the Feast or Fired reveal because waiting until next week is a bad idea around here. Before we get the openings, Michael Bennett and Maria come in and say one of these guys is going to need a miracle. He’s always in for a good train wreck though so he’s going to sit back and watch. Drew isn’t cool with that because he’s not the kind of a guy who is going to stand around waiting on something to happen. Galloway says Maria is the brains of the outfit and a fight is teased but Mike and Maria leave. Back to the reveals with Drake volunteering to go first. Inside his case: King of the Mountain Title shot. We’ll finish this later.

The Wolves want Crazzy Steve out here right now to get their title back from Crazzy Steve and whoever helped him steal them last week (it was pretty clearly Abyss). A woman comes out in something like a Harley Quinn outfit saying everything will decay. This brings out Crazzy Steve, followed by Abyss as we take a break.

Wolves vs. Abyss/Crazzy Steve

This is joined in progress and it’s not clear if the titles are on the line. Abyss splashes Eddie in the corner and brings in Steve to fishhook the jaws. It’s quickly back to Abyss who allows the tag to Davey but takes him down just as fast. Steve comes back in and bites Davey’s boot, which apparently hurts.

Not that it matters as Davey kicks him off and brings in Eddie to clean house. Steve bites his way out of the Backpack Stunner but gets thrown into the air for the kick to the chest. The creepy woman appears on the stage with the titles though to distract Davey, leaving Eddie to take the Black Hole Slam. Steve mists Davey and that’s a DQ at 6:03.

Rating: D+. Well I guess it’s better than nothing. They have to build up someone to feud with the Wolves after most of the other teams have left. However, it’s pretty clear that we’re going to see Beer Money vs. the Wolves in the big showdown at some point so this is really just a filler. At least it’s better than two generic guys though.

Post match Steve puts Davey in the crossface chickenwing while the woman bites Richards’ shoulder.

Back to the briefcase reveals as JB explains the rules for probably the fifth time. Storm goes next and promises to give Roode the World Title shot if he finds it. James is distraught by what he finds but it’s a Tag Team Title shot. Drew opens his case and finds the World Title shot, meaning Grado is fired, which takes a second to kick in. A lot of sadness ensues until Grado leaves the room.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Matt is defending and is now named Big Money Matt during the big match intros. The bell rings but here’s Eric freaking Young to yell about how he should get the title shot. As he yells, Bram comes in from behind and the beatdown is on. Officially the “match” ended at 39 seconds but there was never any contact.

Matt leaves Jeff to get beaten down and Young pulls out a chair. Beer Money makes the save but Steve and Abyss run in to keep the villains in control. Roode and Storm clear them out as well but the four of them head up the ramp, leaving Matt to stand over Jeff. Cue Kurt Angle but Tyrus decks him from behind. Matt and company leave, allowing Eric to piledrive Jeff through the table to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Well they certainly didn’t bore me tonight. The Hardys fighting isn’t interesting to me in the slightest and you could tell it wasn’t going anywhere tonight because they’re coming up on the European tour, meaning it’s time for Jeff to go away for a little while. The rest of the show was all over the place and they did a good enough job with Feast or Fired, though again one of the same issues comes through: TNA doesn’t know how to take their time.

Matt vs. Jeff and Feast or Fired could have been built up for weeks but instead they’re both blown off in the span of a single night. Slow things down for a bit and let these stories build up so there’s a bit more, forgive me, impact. This happens way too often around here and it gets annoying as almost nothing has the chance to build up and give you a big payoff.

Results

Grado, Drew Galloway, Eli Drake and James Storm won Feast or Fired

Tigre Uno b. DJZ and Mandrews – Spanish Fly to Mandrews

Awesome Kong b. Velvet Sky – Implant Buster

Wolves b. Abyss/Crazzy Steve via DQ when Steve sprayed mist in Davey’s face

Jeff Hardy b. Matt Hardy via DQ when Bram interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 25, 2016
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re officially on the Road to Wrestlemania with a new WWE World Champion in HHH, who entered the Royal Rumble as the surprise #30 entrant. There’s a lot of time for changes in the next few weeks though as Fastlane is in less than a month. Also, WWE has advertised a major star making his return tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Reigns in the Rumble and the ending. I do love the fact that the League beat him down but was too busy carrying off a TV monitor (What was that anyway?) to bother THROWING HIM IN AND OVER THE TOP for an elimination but cocky heels will be cocky heels.

Vince and Stephanie strut to the ring to open things up. They’re very happy because it’s the night after the Royal Rumble and they’ve broken Roman Reigns. Just like everyone here, Reigns is going to tuck his tail between his legs and run away hiding because he’s a broken man with no title. Vince confesses to take joy in the misery of others and Reigns is now more miserable than everyone.

Last night they had the fans eating out of the palm of their hands because all the false hope about Brock Lesnar, AJ Styles and Roman Reigns was a waste of time because they knew who #30 was going to be. This brings out HHH (after a huge batch of praise from Stephanie of course) who says it’s good to be the king. Roman isn’t champion today because he lacks respect. HHH can put up with everything from Reigns but he can’t put up with Reigns disrespecting Vince McMahon in the place he created.

As for people who say he doesn’t need to be champion again, they’re right. With the career he’s had, he doesn’t need this again. However, he’s champion again because he wants to be and people like Reigns don’t deserve to be. The fans chant for Reigns but it’s time to figure out who is going to face HHH for the title at Wrestlemania. Tonight though, they’re going to evaluate the talent and announce the main event of Fastlane. The winner of that match will go on to face HHH for the title at Wrestlemania.

This was really, really lame, even by opening Raw promo standards. I still have no idea why I’m supposed to want to see Reigns come back and win the title again. Between him having a half hour nap during the Rumble last night and not really having a character in the first place, I have no idea why I’m supposed to want to see him fight the odds and overcome. Last night really wasn’t a good sign for him going forward, at least not as the very top guy on the roster. He’ll be fine as a main event player, but he needs a lot of work before he’s that guy.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens

Ziggler superkicks him at the bell for a fast two and Owens bails out to the floor. Back in and Dolph scores with a dropkick as we head to a break. Back with Dolph’s superkick being blocked, meaning he has to settle for a Fameasser instead. We hit the sleeper for a bit until Owens drops him into the buckle. The Cannonball misses so Owens grabs a German Suplex, only to charge into another superkick. Ziggler stomps away in the corner but gets crotched on top, setting up the Pop Up Powerbomb to give Owens the pin at 8:45.

Rating: C-. This was fine but I’m going to get really sick of this “IMPRESS THE AUTHORITY” stuff all night long. I understand that this show is all about them and making sure they look as awesome as possible but could we please go more than a week without having to pound it into the fans’ heads? Owens looked better here, which to be fair isn’t hard against Ziggler, who has wrestled the exact same match for years now.

Reigns arrives and laughs off the idea that he’s miserable. He sends JoJo to tell Vince and HHH that he’s here.

Here are the Social Outcasts with something to say, including Heath Slater going outside to get in rapper Flo Rida’s face. Rose calls Slater Red Dragon and Axel doesn’t get it. Dallas calls Rida into the ring for a showdown, but it’s going to be a rap battle. Bo Rida (seriously) puts on a hat, sunglasses and gold chain before calling Flo very disrespectful. “You need to express yourself in a more discerning manner. All you have is ace high but I have a full house like I’m Danny Tanner.” Flo Rida does his own rap and the fans aren’t really responding until he introduces the Dudley Boyz for a tag match.

Dudley Boyz vs. Bo Dallas/Curtis Axel

Joined in progress with Dallas (now in a singlet) fighting out of a headlock until it’s off to Axel for some shots to Bubba’s jaw. That means it’s time for the Bo-Train victory lap around the ring in a funny bit. Back in and D-Von takes over on Axel with a running clothesline in the corner for two. Bubba comes in off a blind tag and the reverse 3D drops Axel again. Slater gets on the apron but Rida shoves him over the top, meaning it’s time for What’s Up. 3D puts Axel away at 4:48.

Rating: D. Hey did you know that Flo Rida is a celebrity? Because he really is. Like, he’s someone people know and pay money to see and such. If you didn’t, you certainly do after watching this match because that’s all this match existed to accomplish. This was nothing more than “hey we’ve got someone you might have heard of on our show!” and that makes for another waste of time.

AJ Styles is about to introduce himself to the WWE but Chris Jericho, his opponent tonight, interrupts. Jericho talks about AJ’s success around the world but he’s never done it here. Good luck tonight and welcome to the big leagues.

Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles

The fans are entirely behind AJ as Jericho chops away to start. AJ flips over him and goes to the apron, only to get dropkicked out to the floor in a good looking shot. Back in and Styles grabs a headlock as the announcers try to talk about AJ’s pre-WWE run without mentioning companies by name. The drop down into the dropkick sends Jericho to the floor but Chris trips him face first onto the apron as we take a break.

Back with Jericho holding a chinlock before both guys try cross bodies at the same time. AJ is up first with some quick strikes to the face and a running clothesline in the corner. The Walls don’t work so Chris settle with a northern lights suplex for two, followed by the running enziguri for the same. AJ stops a charge with a raised boot and hits the springboard forearm for two of his own. The Walls are broken up but AJ misses a top rope splash. The Lionsault hits knees but AJ can’t quite get the Clash. Jericho rolls into a cradle but AJ pushes forward into a sunset flip for the pin at 13:47.

Rating: B. This was exactly what AJ’s singles debut needed to be as he hung with one of the better in ring workers on the roster and pinned him with a counter. Really good stuff here and AJ looks like a major player. They’re saving that Clash for a big moment though and it’s going to blow the roof off the place when it hits.

Post match AJ offers a handshake and Jericho accepts before pulling AJ in. Jericho says something we can’t hear before leaving with no violence.

Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch

Becky goes right after her to start but Sasha takes it to the mat and hits a running slap to the face of all things for two. We hit a neck crank on Lynch for a bit before she grabs a t-bone for two of her own. The double knees in the corner gets the same for Sasha and there’s the Bank Statement, only to have Charlotte come in for the DQ at 3:33.

Rating: C. It was working while it lasted but the DQ makes the most sense. You don’t want to have Becky get screwed over one night and then have her lose clean the next night, even if it’s to Sasha. It’s also nice to see Sasha get to be herself for a change instead of being the weird female New Day member or whatever the heck that was supposed to be.

Charlotte beats Becky down and gives Sasha the Natural Selection before posing with the title. Three way seems likely.

Goldust puts on R-Truth’s headphones for some reason. R-Truth comes in and thinks Goldust is gay but it turns out that Goldust just wants to be a team. Uh…..yeah.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray pounds him into the corner to start as Cole actually has the nerve to bring up the stuff around Survivor Series. That feels so long ago but it was only two months. A running forearm to the back of the head puts Kane down as we take a break about a minute into the match. Back with Bray missing the backsplash and what sounds like a RANDY SAVAGE chant. Kane drops an elbow for two and the fans go crazy with the booing. A release Rock Bottom gets two for Bray and a Harper distraction lets Sister Abigail put Kane away at 7:03.

Rating: D. I can’t blame the fans for booing this one out of the building. We’ve covered Kane vs. Wyatt so many times now that I have no idea why anyone would be interested in seeing them fight again. Kane has been around for so long now that there’s nothing left for him to do, especially when he’s just been Kane: midcard monster for so many years now. Why do you think the Daniel Bryan stuff went so well for him? It’s because it was so completely different and out of character for him that it was hard not to enjoy. Kane is talented, but we’ve covered it.

The Wyatts beat Kane down post match.

There’s a long black limo here which might have the big star inside. Post break Rich Brennan knocks on the door and it’s…..Miz. He hasn’t been around in three weeks so ratings are spiking as we speak. As he’s talking (and ratings are spiking), a black truck pulls up and it’s the Rock, who tells Miz to park the truck.

Rock runs into Rick Ross (just hanging around) and then Big Show. After a chat about how Big Show actually should have won (which Rock agrees with), Rock says he was cast as the Scorpion King because he won that match. Show looks like he’s about to cry and breaks the laptop he’s holding.

Next up Rock sees Lana and brings up that night in Brooklyn with Rusev on Raw. What people don’t know is that Lana came to Rock’s hotel room for some wine and “special exercises” that night, including the one legged Russian vacuum. Lana smiles quite a bit until Rusev comes up and sneers quite a bit. The engagement is brought up and Rusev congratulates him for having such a flexible fiance. Rock talks to the camera as he’s walking towards the gorilla position (which he actually names) before saying he’s FINALLY back home.

Now in the ring, Rock asks if the people are ready for Wrestlemania. “JBL is ready. Michael Cole is ready. That other black dude that I don’t know is ready.” The fans chant for the Randy Savage lookalike in the front row so Rock says it’s time to go off script. He asks who the Savage/Hogan/Undertaker impersonators are (“The weed must be good in Miami tonight.”) but doesn’t have much to say to them. Cool little moment though. Wrestlemania is in a few months but it’s time to talk about tonight…..and here’s New Day.

Woods says that the black guy Rock didn’t know is named Byron Saxton and he’s the best commentator at that table. Kofi: “How about we talk about the black guys that you do know?” Woods brings up beating the Usos so badly that when they walk north, they’re looking south. As for Rock though, if he’s the People’s Champion, where’s his gold? I mean, New Day has gold around their waists as well as in the form of Francesca II. Big E. rips on Miami for losing LeBron James but says Rock did the same thing when he went to Hollywood. Was that for the people or for the paycheck? Either way, New Day rocks.

Rock says he does know who New Day is. They’re the Tag Team Champions, extremely entertaining, and wearing llama anatomy on their heads. New Day: “YOU CAN’T SAY THAT ON TV!” Woods corrects him so Rock calls Big E. a she. “Big mama didn’t like that!” Rock thinks Big E. is strong and nerdy. It’s like the Incredible Hulk banged Urkel. Woods drops his trombone and asks if he did that. 90’s TV fans will find that line funny.

Rock offers to stick Francesca II somewhere but New Day calls for a huddle. They decline and start to leave but Rock says not so fast because he has a plan B. Cue the Usos to go after New Day with Big E. getting a Rock Bottom. Woods is left alone with Rock and it’s a double superkick into the spinebuster to set up the People’s Elbow.

Paige/Natalya vs. Brie Bella/Alicia Fox

Natalya and Alicia get things going but it’s quickly off to Brie for the seated abdominal stretch. The YES Kicks have Natalya in trouble but Brie Mode misses, allowing Paige to come in for the PTO. Alicia makes the save so Paige puts Brie away with the Rampaige for the pin at 2:45.

WWE is working with the Boys and Girls Club for anti-bullying stuff.

Miz is in the ring to complain about being interrupted but his opponent’s music cuts him off.

Kalisto vs. The Miz

Non-title. Miz stomps him down in the corner but a headscissors sends him to the floor for a suicide dive from the champ. Back in and Kalisto rolls over Miz’s back into a front facelock. A springboard cross body gets two for Kalisto and we take a break. THIS MATCH gets a break? I had the finish written out as soon as Kalisto’s music hit and we take a break?

Back with Miz getting two off a clothesline and dropping a top rope ax handle for the same. He stops to yell at the fans though, allowing Kalisto to kick him in the head and hit the corkscrew cross body for two of his own. Miz’s short DDT gets the same and he loads up the Skull Crushing Finale, only to have Kalisto kick off the ropes into the Salida Del Sol for the pin at 9:33.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to see here with a pretty easy to guess finish. If nothing else though, it’s nice to see Kalisto getting a win and not losing the title three days after he wins it in the first place. Hopefully he’s done with Del Rio as there’s only so much you can do with that feud and they passed it after their second match.

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Rusev/Sheamus

Rusev and Reigns slug it out to start but the League is quickly sent to the floor, allowing Ambrose to dive on both guys as we take an early break. Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock and diving over for the hot tag. Ambrose goes nuts as is his custom and cleans house, only to miss a dive over the barricade and coming up with a bad knee. Rusev drags him back to ringside and sends him back first into the barricade a few times.

Back in and Rusev gets two off some gutwrench suplexes before it’s off to Sheamus. Three straight Irish Curses have Dean’s back in even more trouble and we hit the chinlock. Rusev drops some elbows and puts on a chinlock of his own. Back to Sheamus for the forearms to the chest and back to send Dean outside, only to have Ambrose do his apron 619 and score with a clothesline.

That’s enough for the hot tag to Reigns as everything breaks down. Sheamus gets a Samoan Drop on the floor and Rusev takes the apron boot. Del Rio and Barrett have to be chased off though and Rusev hits two straight superkicks, followed by the Brogue Kick for two with Dean making the save. Ambrose dives off the apron to take out Rusev and Reigns spears Sheamus for the pin at 15:18.

Rating: B-. This was a step above your standard Smackdown main event tag match, even though it’s something like the 948^th time that Reigns has beaten the League. I can’t even remember the group last thing they actually pulled off aside from taking the US Title back from Kalisto. Then again this is exactly what we were expecting them to become and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Post match Reigns and Ambrose set up the announcers’ tables and Double Bomb Rusev through the English version. Reigns’ music plays for all of ten seconds before Stephanie power walks out. The main event at Fastlane is…..Ambrose vs. Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. Interesting, but so much for the stipulations meaning anything tonight.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a really good example of a show that was good at three hours but would have been great at two hours. As usual, there’s too much filler weighing down an otherwise good show. On top of that, I’m really not a fan of the “Authority evaluation” stuff as it makes me think the roster isn’t trying the rest of the time. Or that the wrestlers are stupid enough to believe that they might have a fair chance instead of whoever the Authority wants to get the shot. Still though, good enough and we have a PPV main event set to get us to Wrestlemania so there’s at least an idea now.

Results

Kevin Owens b. Dolph Ziggler – Pop Up Powerbomb

Dudley Boyz b. Bo Dallas/Curtis Axel – 3D to Axel

AJ Styles b. Chris Jericho – Sunset flip

Sasha Banks b. Becky Lynch via DQ when Charlotte interfered

Bray Wyatt b. Kane – Sister Abigail

Paige/Natalya b. Brie Bella/Alicia Fox – Rampaige to Bella

Kalisto b. The Miz – Salida Del Sol

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Rusev/Sheamus – Spear to Sheamus

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Royal Rumble 2016
Date: January 24, 2016
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s time to start the Road to Wrestlemania and it’s never started on this hot of a note. This year it’s all about the World Title as Roman Reigns is defending the title in the Royal Rumble itself for the first time ever. That leaves a lot of possible options open and with Reigns starting at #1, there could be a lot of drama by the end. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Darren Young/Damien Sandow vs. Ascension vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Mark Henry/Jack Swagger

One fall to a finish and the winning team gets spots in the Rumble. Swagger and Young get things going but it’s quickly off to Henry as the fans want Sandow. That changes into a “HEY! WE WANT SOME SANDOW!” chants and that’s exactly what they get, including the Wind-Up Elbow for two on Jack. Konnor tags himself in and it’s a big four way standoff as we take a break.

Back with Swagger holding Konnor in a chinlock but D-Von tags himself in, only to get stomped down in the corner. Konnor puts D-Von in a chinlock as the fans want Sexual Chocolate. D-Von avoids a charge and it’s a double tag to Bubba and Viktor with the former cleaning house. A Rock Bottom gets two on Viktor and Young takes What’s Up, meaning it’s table time. Actually scratch that as a 3D gets two on Viktor with Swagger making a fast save. Henry splashes D-Von and covers Viktor for the pin and the Rumble spots at 7:58.

Rating: D+. This was fine and the right team won. There’s no point in putting a thrown together team or either regular team in there so go with the two former World Champions. Neither of them have a chance of winning but at least they add a bit more prestige to the lineup. The match was just there but that’s all it was supposed to be.

Vince and Stephanie arrive before the opening video with Vince saying (while stooping down to be on JoJo’s height) they’re going to give Reigns an opportunity to do something unheard of tonight. Vince loves this night, almost as much as he loves himself. Pretty pointless scene but good night Vince is a ball of energy.

The opening video focuses on the statues before going into a regular video all about Reigns being up against the entire roster tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is challenging in his rematch from TLC and this is last man standing. It’s a brawl to start with Owens taking an early bulldog to send him outside. Dean sends him over the announcers’ table with a suicide dive with Cole being wiped out by Kevin. Owens hits the champ in the ribs with an iPad so Dean whips him into the steps for four. It’s already kendo stick time and Cole is suddenly a huge Ambrose fan.

Owens comes back with a Cannonball to drive Ambrose through the barricade for a nine. They head inside and the fans sound like they’re mainly on Owens’ side. The backsplash keeps Dean in trouble and it’s time to throw in a bunch of chairs. A chair to the back drops Ambrose again but Owens has a seat instead of following up. The Rebound Lariat puts Owens down but Dean has to counter the Pop Up Powerbomb with a backdrop through the chairs.

Kevin bails to the floor but suckers Dean in for some hard whips into the steps and a seven count. It’s table time (fan: “I feel like you’re wasting your time right now!”) as Dean is laying on the apron, which should earn him a count. Owens stacks up two tables on top of each other in front of a post but gets a chair pelted at his face. It hangs around his neck so Dean starts punching the chair until it falls off. That’s not the brightest thing in the world champ.

The Pop Up Powerbomb is countered with a hurricanrana and Dean grabs Dirty Deeds for eight. Dirty Deeds onto the chair has Owens in trouble but he rolls outside and onto his feet to break the count before collapsing. Dean loads up another table at ringside (“HEY! WE WANT SOME TABLES!”) and drops the top rope elbow for a double eight count. We get yet another table in the ring and they trade shouts of I HATE YOU.

Ambrose loads up a superplex through the table but Owens reverses into the fisherman’s superplex for the big crash. They’re both back up again so Owens grabs a hard Pop Up Powerbomb for nine and a half, only to have Dean collapse at 9.6. Frustration sets in for Owens as he loads up all the chairs and goes up, allowing Dean to shove him off the top and through the double tables at ringside for the win to retain at 20:21.

Rating: B. Good but certainly not great last man standing match. The double tables were clearly going to be the ending and it was just a matter of time instead of a big surprise at the end. It was good enough though and all it needed to be, though I was hoping Owens would get the title back. However, it leaves the door open for a big match at Wrestlemania which is the important thing.

We recap the destruction of Francesca the Trombone. That’s a really odd statement if you’re reading this a long time from now. In other words it’s time for the Tag Team Titles.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos

New Day (Kofi/Big E.) is defending and Kofi asks for a moment of silence, allowing Woods to debut Francesca II. Yes Xavier will miss Francesca but he has, ahem, needs. As for tonight, one of them will also win the Rumble because 2016 will be the year of all gold everything. Thankfully the Usos have the different color boots on again.

Kofi and Jimmy get things going with Kofi missing his reverse leapfrog, allowing Jimmy to throw him down. It’s off to Jey as we have a discussion of Byron’s street cred. Big E. comes in and sends Jey shoulder first into the post to take over. It’s back to Kofi to pummel away in the corner as Woods rants about being in the match as well. The fans want Woods to play Francesca but Woods says not so fast.

Both guys try superkicks (shocking I know) but Kofi pulls Jey down by the leg so Big E. can get in a splash. A slingshot stomp crushes Jey again but he enziguris Kofi off the apron and out to the floor for a nice crash. Jimmy gets the tag and starts cleaning house with a Samoan Drop and Whisper in the Wind getting two on Big E. Everything breaks down and Big E. knocks Jimmy off the top, setting up a belly to belly for two of his own.

Jey dives off the apron (out of the WWE Universe according to Cole) to take Kofi out, followed by Big E. spearing Jimmy through the apron in an always cool looking spot. Back in and the Midnight Hour is broken up, allowing Jimmy to superkick Kofi into a very quiet Superfly Splash. Woods makes the save though, earning himself a suicide dive from Jey. Back in and Jey superkicks Kofi down but misses a blind tag to Big E., allowing the Big Ending to pull Jey out of the air for the Big Ending to retain the titles at 10:54.

Rating: C+. This picked up a bit at the end but the tag division is at such a weak point right now that it’s hard to get excited about a match we’ve seen a few times already. I don’t know if they think the Usos getting the titles back is going to be a big deal but this never felt important or really anything more than just a regular title defense.

We recap the Highlight Reel from Monday and the ensuing chaos.

The Wyatts talk about slaughtering the Beast and the Chosen One. Tonight they slaughter them all on their way to the title. Then he really will have the whole world in his hands. Run.

US Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto

Del Rio is defending and this is the rubber match because WWE can’t count to four. They’ve traded the title in recent weeks with Del Rio’s League of Nations teammates beating Kalisto down three days earlier on Smackdown. Kalisto hammers away in the corner to start but gets kicked in the chest for two. Del Rio rains down some right hands in the corner but gets kicked in the back to knock him out to the floor.

We get another suicide dive to take the champ out but he knocks Kalisto off the top with an enziguri. A chinlock gives both guys a breather before the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker drops Kalisto again. They head outside again so Kalisto can snap off a hurricanrana. Byron: “Kalisto looked up to guys like Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero.” JBL: “He looks up to everybody Byron. He’s short!”

Del Rio whips him into the barricade and it’s time to go for the mask, which you know is enough to start a comeback. That’s quickly cut off by the low superkick for two but Del Rio misses another running enziguri. A very nice tornado DDT gets two for Kalisto and there’s the corkscrew crossbody. The hurricanrana driver gets two more but Kalisto takes too long going up, allowing Del Rio to reverse superplex to connect for two.

They botch a sunset bomb but Kalisto turns into a quick rollup for two more anyway in a close enough save. The top rope double stomp misses and a springboard Salida Del Sol gets two more with Alberto grabbing the bottom rope. Kalisto tries a springboard but lands on two knees for a unique counter. Del Rio would rather take the turnbuckle pad off though, only to be sent face first into the steel. A quick Salida Del Sol gives Kalisto the title back at 11:30.

Rating: C. This didn’t have nearly the surprise and shock factor that the first title change did but at least they got it back on Kalisto for a good moment. He’s more interesting as champion by default after Del Rio’s boring time with the belt so why not do something here to give us a nice moment? Another good match as this show is on a roll so far.

Kickoff recap.

Paul Heyman comes in to see Stephanie and the disgust is quickly on. Heyman talks about Brock winning the title tonight with just ten weeks before we go to Wrestlemania. He promises that Brock will eliminate the entire Wyatt Family tonight but all Stephanie cares about is Reigns being eliminated. If Brock gets rid of him, Stephanie will gradually renegotiate Lesnar’s deal, which is all Heyman wanted.

Ad for Edge and Christian’s Network show.

Fastlane ad.

We recap Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch. They were friends but Charlotte freaked out after losing to Becky, triggering a heel turn as Charlotte wanted to be more like her dad. Becky tricked Ric Flair into setting this up by implying that Charlotte was a coward.

Divas Title: Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending. Becky takes her to the mat to start but can’t get the arm this early. An armdrag sends Charlotte into the corner as they’re sprinkling in some Steamboat vs. Flair. The Figure Four doesn’t work so Charlotte cranks on an armbar of her own. The fans are entirely behind Becky here but Charlotte takes over with some good old cheating from her dad, who kisses Becky to distract her.

Back in and a suplex gets two for the champ and we hit the figure four neck lock with Charlotte slamming her face first into the mat. The hold stays on for a long time until Becky fights up with some running clotheslines. Becky forearms out of the Figure Eight and grabs a t-bone suplex for two. The running legdrops set up another t-bone but Charlotte hits a quick spear to take over again.

Becky is sat on top but grabs Charlotte’s arm and rolls into an armbreaker. That’s countered into a pretty impressive powerbomb for two more as Flair’s cheerleading gets louder and louder. Back up and Charlotte baseball slides her dad by mistake, allowing Becky to grab the Disarm-Her. Ric throws his coat onto Becky’s face though to break up the hold (and somehow not draw a DQ). Another spear retains Charlotte’s title at 12:37.

Rating: C-. As usual, the Divas are hurt by too many rest holds and WAY too much Ric Flair. This is getting into the Evolution format from thirteen years ago when it was already old. Not a great match here, which is a shame considering what these two are capable of doing. Just stop with the rest holds and the Ric and things will get better overnight.

Post match Charlotte beats Becky down even more until Sasha Banks comes out (on her own thank goodness)…..and kicks Becky to the floor. Sasha says she wants the title but waits until Ric leaves before putting on the Bank Statement. Somehow Flair doesn’t notice this for a bit, despite the fans going NUTS for it.

Some fans won a tour of the Performance Center from Chex Mix.

Rumble by the Numbers video. Good night they’re stretching the heck out of this.

WWE World Title: Royal Rumble

Roman Reigns is defending and is coming in at #1 with ninety second intervals. The fans instantly boo Reigns to continue their tradition. It’s Rusev in at #2 as we get the final two from last year starting this year. They slug it out to start and Rusev elbows out of a Samoan Drop. There’s a spinwheel kick to stagger the champ and Rusev throws him through the ropes to the floor. That sets up the Apron Boot and a spear to get rid of Rusev quick.

It’s…..AJ STYLES in at #3 and the fans lose their minds at the reveal. Roman looks as stunned as anyone as the announcers acknowledge the internet rumors, which to be fair were on WWE.com. An early Styles Clash attempt doesn’t work so AJ Pele Kicks him, only to have another Clash countered into the Samoan Drop. Tyler Breeze is in at #4 with kicks to both guys as the fans chant for AJ. Breeze can’t get Reigns out so AJ picks him up, only to have Roman punch AJ in the ribs, sending Breeze out to the floor.

Curtis Axel is in at #5 and actually gets in the ring. Axel actually gets the best of it to start but the Outcasts’ interference doesn’t work, allowing AJ to clothesline Axel to the floor. Chris Jericho is in at #6 and goes after Reigns before elbowing AJ down. Reigns is sent shoulder first into the post, leaving AJ to try another Clash on Jericho. That’s countered into a Walls of Jericho attempt but Reigns makes the save. Kane is in at #7 and Cole actually calls him arguably the greatest Rumble performer of all time. You know, minus the whole WINNING THE MATCH thing.

Kane kicks AJ in the face before going after the other two as things settle down. Goldust is in at #8 and Kane is the only person on his feet. Everyone gets into the same corner as the fans are still chanting for AJ. Ryback is in at #9 and WOW the fans are not happy. Kane and Jericho form an unlikely team (time heals all hot coffee wounds) to put Ryback on the apron but not to the floor. Kofi Kingston is in at #10 and goes after Jericho. AJ hits the springboard forearm on Jericho but gets dropped to the mat for his efforts.

Titus O’Neil is in at #11 and does the usual cleaning house spot, including eliminating Goldust. We’ve got Reigns, Styles, Ryback, Jericho, O’Neil, Kane and Kingston in at the moment and it’s R-Truth in at #12. That means it’s time for a ladder but there’s no briefcase to grab. Kane gets rid of him in a few seconds and throws Kofi out as well, only to have him land on Big E.’s shoulders for the save of the year. Kofi stops to have a Coke and it’s Luke Harper in at #13.

Cue the League of Nations and Vince to pulls Reigns to the floor for a beating, which is likely the way to keep him out of the match until much later. The camera ignores everything going on in the ring as the beating goes on, continuing a long stretch of bad camera work tonight. Stardust is in at #14 as Rusev splashes Reigns through the French announce table. We’ve been away from the ring for the better part of two minutes at this point.

The camera FINALLY goes back to the ring as the League walks off with a monitor for some reason. Kofi was eliminated off camera and it’s Big Show in at #15, giving us Show, Reigns (down on the floor), Styles, Jericho, Harper, Stardust, O’Neil, Ryback and Kane. Titus and Ryback are dumped by Big Show as a stretcher comes out for Reigns. Neville is in at #16 and Reigns gets off the stretcher but goes to the back anyway. We finally see that it was Jericho who eliminated Kofi earlier in the match.

Braun Strowman is in at #17 and runs people over before breaking Kane’s chokeslam attempt. Strowman dumps Kane with ease and it’s time for the showdown with Big Show. Another chokeslam attempt is broken up and Strowman chokes him out for another easy elimination. So the old giants are already out and we’re not even to #20 yet. That’s quite the surprise. Kevin Owens is in at #18, limping to the ring to sell the injuries from earlier.

We’ve got Jericho, Strowman, Harper, Stardust, Styles, Owens and Neville in the ring at the moment with Reigns in the back. Kevin goes right for AJ for the slugout but Neville breaks it up. The Clash is broken up again as Owens superkicks Styles and throws him out for a bit of a surprise. Dean Ambrose is in at #19 and goes right for Owens as you would expect. The fans start cheering for AJ as he leaves and we recap the League beating Reigns down earlier. Sami Zayn is in at #20 for a big surprise and goes right for Owens, tossing him in pretty short order.

Erick Rowan is in at #21 to give us three Wyatts with Bray still to come. The Wyatts get together to dump Stardust and Neville before Strowman starts choking Jericho. Mark Henry is in at #22 and Strowman slams him with ease. The three Wyatts dump Mark about ten seconds after he got in and get rid of Sami as well. Strowman chokes Jericho some more and it’s Lesnar in at #23. Brock goes right for Jericho and Strowman before suplexing anyone he can find.

We get Brock vs. Braun and a BIG forearm puts Strowman on his back. Lesnar clotheslines Rowan out and German suplexes Harper. Strowman elbows out of one but misses a charge into the post. Another clothesline drops Strowman and Brock is looking winded. Jack Swagger is in at #24 and charges right into an F5 for an elimination in fifteen seconds. We’ve got Lesnar, Strowman, Harper Ambrose and Jericho in the ring.

Miz is in at #25 and goes to commentary where he promises to turn Suplex City into Mizney World. Lesnar gets rid of Harper and it’s Alberto Del Rio in at #26. Brock throws him down with ease before clotheslining Braun a few times for the elimination. Del Rio, Jericho and Ambrose gang up on Lesnar and it’s Bray Wyatt (Cole makes it sound like a random Uso) in at #27. The rest of the Wyatts come back for the gang attack but Brock shrugs them off like the nothings they are.

It’s time for Bray vs. Brock and Wyatt is quickly suplexed. Harper saves Bray from the F5 though and we get a big gang beatdown. Sister Abigail allows the rest of the Family to dump Lesnar and set up a Wrestlemania match. Dolph Ziggler is in at #28 and starts cleaning house with his usual stuff. Miz finally gets in the ring and plants Dolph with the Skull Crushing Finale. It’s not enough for an elimination though as Jericho goes after Miz until Sheamus is in at #29. Reigns decks him in the aisle and gets back in to eliminate Miz and Del Rio.

Bray is up to go after Roman as Sheamus hasn’t gotten in the ring yet. The Superman Punch decks Wyatt and the booing is all over the place again. Reigns is the only man standing and indeed it’s HHH in at #30 to give us HHH, Reigns, Sheamus (on the floor) Jericho, Wyatt, Ambrose and Ziggler as the final group.

HHH and Reigns have their big staredown but Ziggler has to be Pedigreed. Bray gets speared and it’s back to the staredown with all seven still in. They slug it out with Reigns countering the Pedigree. Sheamus gets in and throws Reigns to the ropes before it’s time for the parade of finishers. Bray gets a Codebreaker and Lionsault but Jericho can’t put Reigns out. HHH sidesteps a charging Dolph for an elimination and we’re down to six.

Bray and HHH have a bizarre staredown but HHH points to Reigns. That’s not cool with Bray who punches the boss in the jaw, only to have Sister Abigail broken up with a Brogue Kick. HHH and Sheamus put Bray out but are both sent to the apron by Reigns. Ambrose takes Sheamus down with a neckbreaker but Jericho drops Dean with a high cross body. A Codebreaker drops HHH but Dean throws Chris out to give us Ambrose, HHH, Reigns and Sheamus (he’s always there near the end) for the final four.

Sheamus misses a Brogue Kick and gets Superman Punched to the floor, only to have HHH throw Reigns out for a big ovation. We’re down to Ambrose vs. HHH which is a really surprising final pairing. The fans are all behind Ambrose (duh) and there’s an early Rebound Lariat (which Cole actually calls, I kid you not, the Wacky Line). The Pedigree is broken up and Dean sends him to the apron but charges into a knee. HHH backdrops him out and wins the title at 1:02:45.

Rating: A-. That was exhausting. You kind of knew HHH was going to win but it’s still the right call as it sets up Reigns vs. HHH at some point, hopefully next month instead of in Dallas. I really liked the fact that they didn’t have HHH vs. Reigns as the final two as it would have been way too easy. Ambrose wasn’t going to win of course but it was nice to have the false hope instead of just going with the obvious.

The rest of the match was awesome though I have no idea what they’re thinking if they want to do Brock vs. Braun. It was almost painful watching them same spots over and over as Brock can only clothesline and knee him in the back so many times. Lesnar was kind of all over the place in this as he really doesn’t fit the wrecking machine mold like you would expect him to.

It was a good enough night for surprises with AJ (I had forgotten he was in by the end though that’s not a criticism) and Sami, who hopefully is main roster bound soon, as the main names. It’s probably best that they didn’t do the legends and such in a match for the title so well done all around. Really good Rumble and easily the best in years, at least partially because of the options near the end. I know I say that a lot but they’re so important in a match like this.

A very quick celebration takes us out as it’s 11pm.

Overall Rating: A. Oh yeah this was great. The Rumble is a tricky show as it’s all about the one big match and it more than delivered this year. On top of that though we had four good to really good matches for a strong undercard. I had a great time with this show, though I’m really curious to see what they have planned for Wrestlemania at this point. HHH vs. Reigns really isn’t a strong enough headliner though I’m not sure what else they have with so many injuries. Still though, great stuff here and an awesome show.

Results

Dean Ambrose b. Kevin Owens – Ambrose shoved Owens through two tables

New Day b. Usos – Big Ending to Jey

Kalisto b. Alberto Del Rio – Salida Del Sol

Charlotte b. Becky Lynch – Spear

HHH won the Royal Rumble last eliminating Dean Ambrose

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We’ll wrap it up with the biggest one of the year.

We’ll start with one of the last remaining worldwide talents in AJ Styles. The guy goes around the world and has great match after great match. He was a huge star in New Japan and fought almost anyone you could ask him to face. Styles has earned the WWE run he’s about to get and 2015 was a big part of that.

You also have to consider Kevin Owens for how far he’s come in just a year. People kind of forget that he made his WWE debut at the end of 2014 and was pinning John Cena about six months later. Couple that with a dominant performance against Sami Zayn and the Intercontinental Title and it’s hard to argue anyone having a stronger debut year in a very long time.

Also out of NXT you have Bayley, who rose up from a good but not great NXT woman to the most over person in the hottest promotion in wrestling. Watch her come out on NXT and just take in how much the people love her. She’s on a roll in the ring too and is a genuine character that young girls can get attached to. I honestly don’t remember the last time that happened in wrestling and it’s amazing to see it happen right before your eyes.

That leaves us with the main two options and we’ll start with the younger. Seth Rollins threw in a legitimate surprise finish to Wrestlemania when he cashed in and went on to have one heck of an in ring year. Rollins’ biggest problem came down to his horrible booking. There’s only so much you can do when you’re treated as HHH and Stephanie’s kid and get stuck trying to carry Kane to a serious World Title match at a major show.

This is a situation where someone was doing the best with what they were given and Rollins did everything he could. It’s not his fault that WWE doesn’t know how to book a heel as anything but a coward or subservient to the Authority. Rollins did his best and it’s clear that he’s going to be a huge deal when he comes back (hopefully not being associated with HHH) with his knee all fixed up.

Finally, as always, there’s John Cena. This was an odd year for Cena as he started off hot against Lesnar and Rollins, went into a very hit or miss feud with Rusev (more miss than hit unfortunately), how an awesome feud with Owens, disappeared for a few weeks due to his reality show, then had another hit or miss feud with Rollins (though it was much more the booking missing than the wrestlers). Then he came back for like five minutes but got hurt again and is out for the next several months.

However, there’s a major weight in his favor and that’s the US Open Challenge. This is what separated Cena from the rest of the pack all year as it was one awesome match after another with any and all comers. The question became who was going to walk through the curtain, making every week a big surprise. Some of them were better than others, but you knew you were going to get something special. This series of matches impressed even some of Cena’s harshest critics as Cena just could not have a bad match during this thing. At the end of the day, good wrestling is more important than anything else and no one did that better week in and week out this year that Cena.

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This is one of the hardest ones to pick because it’s one of the two biggest awards of the year.

We’ll start over in Japan with Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Kota Ibushi in the WON Match of the Year. I didn’t remember this being as awesome as it was but I gave it an A and you have to mention it after winning such a big award. Ibushi made this a war and came so close to the huge upset in a great story with great action but he just couldn’t pull it off. Still great though.

Reigns vs. Lesnar from Wrestlemania was better than I was expecting as they just beat the tar out of each other for a long time until the big screwy ending. That ending is what holds it back for me as it turned into more of an angle than a match. What we got until that point was more than worth seeing though and it far exceeded most expectations. It’s the main event of Wrestlemania so you have to at least give it a mention.

In another surprise, Kevin Owens pinned John Cena at Elimination Chamber. This was the big trading finishers showdown with both guys hitting each other with bigger and bigger shots to set up the big surprise finish with Owens winning. This was built up with weeks of great promos and then gave us a great match. What more can you ask for than that?

There’s another match from outside WWE with Mil Muertes vs. Fenix in a Grave Consequences (casket) match. It’s not the match of the year, but it runs away with the award for having no business being awesome but blowing the roof off the place. Casket matches are some of the goofiest gimmick matches you’ll ever find but these two turned it into one of the most dramatic things I’ve seen in a very long time. Given how bad the gimmick was holding them back, this was a borderline miracle.

We’ll go in reverse for a second and mention the Iron Man match at Takeover: Respect. It’s not quite the first match but the ending with Bayley KICKING SASHA IN THE HEAD to win and Banks making Izzy cry were things of beauty. These two have mad chemistry together and the rematch even being near the level of the original is the highest praise.

That leaves us with the final two matches that everyone knew we were coming to. First up there’s the amazing triple threat from the Royal Rumble with Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins. I rewatched this a few days ago and good night it was something to see. All three guys hit everything they could and the story of Lesnar having to be double teamed to leave the other two fighting was great stuff.

The things Lesnar was doing and was being put through by the challengers were awesome and the ending with Brock going Beast Mode to beat Rollins left me out of breath. This was the most action packed match of the year and the clubhouse leader for a very long time. It was going to take something special to come close to it and that’s what we got about nine months later.

Women in wrestling get a lot of flack. They’re treated as eye candy, sideshow acts, popcorn breaks and second class citizens who do some of the dumbest things imaginable. That’s what makes the NXT women’s division so much fun. Instead of being treated like morons, they’re treated as serious competitors who happen to be women. The idea of a Women’s Title match being the main event of a random week of TV doesn’t even make NXT fans think twice these days and that’s a really good sign.

That’s what makes Bayley vs. Sasha Banks so important. This wasn’t just a great match but it was also a great moment. The wrestling, the emotion and the post match scene all wrapped this up into one of the greatest things I’ve seen as a wrestling fan. This was a moment for wrestling and had me losing my mind every single time, even though Bayley winning wasn’t exactly a shock.

So that brings up the big debate that never ends in wrestling: action vs. emotion. The triple threat was non-stop insanity with one big spot after another. The women’s match on the other hand was all about Bayley’s journey from the goofy fangirl to the serious competitor who was the best in the company. However, it didn’t have Brock Lesnar breaking stuff, including various people for twenty minutes.

I keep going back and forth on this but the more I think about that sequence with Sasha getting Bayley in the Bank Statement and stomping on her hand, only to have Bayley reverse it into a Bank Statement of her own, the more I have to go with the women. For my money, the hardest thing to do in wrestling is to convince fans that something they know is happening isn’t going to happen. Like I said, Bayley was the obvious winner but they managed to convince me that it wasn’t going to happen for that split second.

The thing is though the match kept going and had one heck of a finishing sequence with Bayley hitting a great looking reverse hurricanrana to knock Banks senseless. That’s where the match got even better for me: Bayley had Banks beaten before the Bayley to Belly, which really just put her out of her misery. In other words, Bayley looked like the decisive winner instead of someone who happened to win. It felt like an actual changing of the guard and a moment, which is what it was supposed to be. Couple that with the Four Horsewomen post match stuff and this beats anything else in the year in a big milestone.

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This is one of the most difficult shows of the year to predict and it’s not just because of the battle royal. Aside from the big main event, it’s hard to guess a lot of the title matches because there’s a chance that they’re starting a new title program but they also might just be extending the current ones a few more months. Then there’s the whole “let’s throw the roster into one match for the title.” Let’s get to it.

We’ll start on the pre-show with a nice little concept: a four way tag with the winning team getting Rumble spots. We’ve got Darren Young/Damien Sandow (So are the Players officially split?) vs. the Dudley Boyz vs. Ascension vs. Mark Henry/Jack Swagger. Ascension is written off of course and there’s no reason to pick Young/Sandow. Therefore, we’ll go with the only team remaining and the only one comprised of two former World Champions. Neither guy has a chance of winning but the more former World Champions you add to a World Title match the more prestige it has. If nothing else due to how lame the other options are.

Del Rio retains the US Title. Why? Well for some reason WWE insists on making us sit through as many boring Del Rio matches as we can while the title gets less and less interesting every single week. I had a good time believing that Kalisto could go somewhere as champion but in the back of my head I knew WWE would hand it back to Del Rio as soon as possible. I have no idea who takes it off him (AJ maybe?) but it’s not going to be Kalisto at this show.

I’ll go with Ambrose keeping the title from Owens. In theory Owens should be in line for a big match at Wrestlemania and I can’t imagine they put the title on him beforehand. Last man standing is a good way to have him lose but still keep him looking strong as Dean could win through shenanigans after a long fight. As long as they don’t do the lame and way overdone “trap him under some big object” ending, this should be a really wild brawl that both guys are capable of delivering. Ambrose wins, though both guys should be in the Rumble too.

In a pick that doesn’t make a ton of sense, I’ll go with the Usos to win the titles off New Day. It’s not that New Day isn’t entertaining still (though the Jericho stuff has been horrible), but they’ve cleaned out the division more than once now so unless Enzo/Cass or Gable/Jordan are coming to the main roster like Monday or something, who else is New Day supposed to fight?

Charlotte retains, likely setting up a match against Sasha Banks as we roll into Wrestlemania, which could set up Bayley vs. Sasha on the main roster. Not that WWE is smart enough to pull that off of course. We’re likely setting for the return of Nikki to challenge Charlotte in a copy of AJ returning to take the title from Paige in 2014.

That brings us to the main event and good night where do you start? Well actually you start with Reigns based on Monday, but I think it finishes with HHH. Yeah as simple of a story as they have, I really do think this winds up being HHH coming out in the last spot and defeating a worn out Reigns to win the title. However, I don’t think it sets up HHH vs. Reigns at Wrestlemania. Instead I think they’ll do that match at Fastlane and then set up Reigns vs. Lesnar II at Wrestlemania. I can’t imagine they keep the title on Reigns as if nothing else, it leaves no one as a realistic challenger.

Now for the interesting parts: the surprises. Counting the two names from the pre-show, we’ll have fifteen names announced. I won’t bother trying to predict all fifteen as it’s likely going to be one or two of the Social Outcasts and a bunch of midcard fillers plus HHH to cap it off. That leaves a handful of spots for legends and new names so here are a few guesses.

Word on the street is they’re putting the Tough Enough winner in there for some hazing. If so, whatever. It’ll take two minutes and no one is going to remember because Tough Enough winners barely ever mean anything because it’s a stupid concept that doesn’t work.

I don’t think we get AJ Styles and I’d almost bet on the fact that we don’t get Daniel Bryan. AJ likely debuts the next night or the next week and Bryan being in the Rumble would be a borderline disaster based on the last two years. Both guys would be fun, but the problem boils down to this: what’s the point of bringing them in if they’re just going to lose?

For legends picks, let’s go with Jim Duggan and……Papa Shango. Why? Well why not? If they can bring in the Boogeyman last year, why not bring in Shango here? I’ll throw in Vader too, just so the announcers can make a lame Star Wars joke.

Finally, I’ll go with Sami Zayn as the NXT representative. The fans know who he is and he can go right back down to NXT to build towards Sami vs. Balor at Takeover.

Overall, this is always a show worth looking forward to. The Rumble is one of the few matches that is always fun due to the drama and surprises included and this has the potential to be something awesome. I like the idea of putting the title on the line as it really does feel like the biggest Rumble of all time. Reigns is likely dropping the belt here to set up his big win at Wrestlemania, but this has the potential to throw a huge curveball. I know HHH vs. Reigns is likely at some point, but there’s always the chance that it could go another way.

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This is always a big one.

We’ll start up north with Takeover: Brooklyn which had one of the best one-two main events I’ve ever seen, though Bayley vs. Sasha still should have gone on last. The crowd helped this one a lot as everyone was losing their minds over what they were seeing. It’s a great show and the real main event is probably the match of the year.

There’s also Wrestle Kingdom IX which was the usual stacked New Japan card with one great match after another. The problem here though, as usual, is how long the show is. I really liked the action but they could have cut at least half an hour off. The show was shorter than usual but it still felt long, which isn’t a good thing. This is way up there for the action alone.

Speaking of action we have Ultima Lucha, which combined to go three hours and had some great culminations to some awesome feuds and stories. Believe it or not it was probably the Vampiro match that stole the show with the old retired Vampiro going full on insane one last time before revealing that he had been Pentagon’s master the whole time. The rest of the card is (mostly) awesome and it was a great cap to one of the biggest surprises I’ve ever seen with Lucha Underground.

Now we have one of the usual suspects in Wrestlemania. You can’t have a discussion of major shows without looking at the biggest show of the year and Wrestlemania was a shocking surprise. The thing is, people said that it probably wouldn’t hold up as well on a second viewing and that wound up being the case as the redo dropped a little bit. The thing with Wrestlemania XXXI was how low people’s expectations were coming in. Most people, including myself, thought the show looked like a disaster on paper but it wound up being a really strong outing.

Finally though, there’s Takeover: London. I think the subtitle I used for this show sums it up better than anything else: what a great night of wrestling matches. The worst match on the card was totally fine (Crews vs. Corbin) and the next worse match received a strong B. NXT is the it promotion for a strong card with well built stories that pay off in the end and London might have been the strongest. Anytime you get a Sting vs. Vader story like they had in Bayley vs. Jax, you know you’re in for a good night. This was my favorite big show of the year and I’m almost certain it’s going to have the required staying power.

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This might be the trickiest of all as you could say Sting is a rookie as he had his first WWE match in 2015. Since that could make things really complicated though, we’ll go with people I consider rookies, meaning I might not consider some of your choices.

We’ll start with someone outside WWE because I’m a WWE mark or something. ROH’s Dalton Castle had debuted a few years earlier but changed his gimmick and debuted in the Top Prospect Tournament in the early part of the year. This turned into a great run for him as he became one of the more entertaining guys on the roster with a surprisingly strong offense and a great character. He’s one of the people I enjoy most when watching ROH and his charisma alone will take him a long way.

Asuka is really kind of cheating as she’s been wrestling for over ten years. However, she debuted in NXT and was instantly the second (at worst) woman on the roster. It’s pretty clear Asuka vs. Bayley is coming at Takeover in Dallas and it should be one of the most awesome matches they’ve had…..well since the last time Bayley had a big showdown match. This is a stretch but she’s a rookie in WWE at least and that’s close enough.

Speaking of rookie women in NXT, we have Nia Jax, who actually did debut in 2015. I know her character is limited and I still don’t get why she and Eva Marie are teaming, but she played a perfect Vader to Bayley’s Sting, which is really impressive given that she was debuting six months prior to that. I don’t know how far she can go, but Nia is a great monster with a great look.

However, we finally have the runaway winner in Chad Gable. This is a guy who just gets it and was ready for the main roster about ten seconds after he debuted. Gable is the closest thing to another version of Kurt Angle as he went from the Olympics to the WWE where he’s a comedic goon who was capable of out wrestling anyone. This guy could be something very special in the future and he’s just fun to watch, especially when he’s with Jason Jordan.

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Thunder
Date: August 30, 2000
Location: Tuscon Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

This is another case where just getting up to a coherent show would be a huge improvement over what they had on Monday. Thunder isn’t usually the best show in the world but at least it has a tendency to make sense. Nash is the World Champion now, which could actually work if he puts Booker over at the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from Nitro. Normally editing things down to a few minutes works but in this case, the show is still a disaster.

Here’s Team Canada with the captured Major Gunns in the ring. Elix Skipper says “Show me the Canadian money!” Gunns has to hold the flag and rolls her eyes throughout Storm’s speech about how we all want to be Canadians. The Canadian national anthem plays so Gunns drops the flag and rips her top off to reveal an American flag bra. Cue Team Canada’s opponents.

Team Canada vs. Kronik

Storm is sent to the floor and Adams launches Skipper down on top of him. We settle down with Clark stomping away at Skipper in the corner. Tony promises the announcement of a first time ever match this coming Monday on Nitro. A double shoulder drops Skipper and he dives backwards into a full nelson slam, only to have Storm springboard in with a clothesline for two. Tony: “One, two, HE ALMOST BEAT HIM!” Yeah because the US Champion getting a pin would be shocking.

Adams clotheslines both guys down and brings in Clark for the Meltdown on Skipper for two. Storm breaks up High Times and goes for the flag, only to have Gunns jab him between the legs. The full nelson slam and High Times puts Storm away, because why not pin the US Champion in a nothing match?

Rating: C-. Not the worst power vs. speed match as I could watch Storm being that smooth in the ring all day. The guy just looks natural flying around at a level that almost no one else reaches. I didn’t like the ending but at least the match leading up to it was good enough and we’re off to a nice start.

Post match here’s General Rection comes down to try to save Gunns but the Canadians fight back, drawing out the rest of the Misfits for the save. The Canadians get away with Gunns.

The Natural Born Thrillers are ready for a limo but it’s Nash and Steiner. The new champ wants to have fun tonight “and that’s a shoot.”

We see a clip of the Thunder Tailgate Party. Ignore Vito still wearing the Hardcore Title, making this a month old at least.

Here are Steiner, Jarrett, Nash and the Thrillers (you knew the mega heel stable was coming) with Scott going first. Apparently he isn’t allowed to call Goldberg all the names he wants because the corporate sponsors won’t let him. Some villain. He got hit in the face with a pipe on Monday and has the banged up eyes to prove it. After Steiner swears a bit (that’s more like it), he promises to take care of Goldberg at Fall Brawl.

Nash talks about winning the World Title for the fifth time on Monday. Stevie: “And no one remembers the first four.” Well to be fair those, three of those reigns combined to last about two weeks. He’s watched the tape back a few times and sees why Jarrett played it so fair during the match: Jeff wanted Nash to win the title on his own, because Nash wanted to do it for the people. Gee I just thought it was bad writing.

The fans actually cheer the line (save for Daffney and the Crowbar look-a-like, who are in the audience for some reason) and Nash chuckles. All that means is more people willing to pay another $30 at an autograph signing because their picture has the belt in it. Nash touts the Thrillers as the future and says Goldberg is out in the desert so there’s no one to stop them tonight.

Cue Booker to say he has a clique of his own, so here are Vito, Awesome and the Filthy Animals. So the clique known as the Animals are part of an even bigger clique? You think you might be overdoing this faction war stuff? Booker is worried about the guys in the ring taking over WCW and the fight is on until security makes the save.

A few notes here. First, I don’t really see why this is a problem since we’ve established that Cat is more powerful than Russo. Second, this was actually a well done segment with the storyline being laid out right in front of us. That’s one area where Russo excels: he can set up a big story really, really well.

Unfortunately that brings us to the third point: we’re going to have to see where this goes and that’s Russo’s downfall. He can set stuff up but at some point he has to execute those stories and the whole thing collapses. On top of that, if you’ve seen one Russo faction war story, you’ve seen them all. Thankfully this one is off to a good start though and you have to take the little things while you can. Oh and ignore the setup having plot holes the size of Russo’s MANLY biceps of course.

Back from a break and we see Nash taking over the control booth during the commercial. Apparently he’s in charge now and sends Reno to face Mike Awesome.

Rection wants Storm at Fall Brawl. For AMERICA. And Gunns.

Wedding invitation for a week from Monday.

Reno vs. Mike Awesome

Awesome is in ring gear here, which really makes me wonder why the 70s thing existed. He doesn’t wear the stuff to the ring and wrestles the same so why do it other than to amuse the writers? Awesome elbows him in the face to start and throws him down with a German suplex for no cover.

The slingshot shoulder gets two for Mike and we hear about War Games 2000 airing this Monday on Nitro, meaning it’s the first time ever both A, on TV and B, for the World Title. Thanks for giving us a full FIVE DAYS notice for this huge match. Reno gets in a shot to the ribs but stops to go after Daffney’s boyfriend (Ozzie) for no apparent reason. Stevie: “How did they get front row seats in this venue?” Back in and Mike grabs the Awesome Bomb for a quick pin. Stevie: “BUT HOW DID THEY GET THE SEATS TONY???”

Rating: D+. Another match that didn’t have enough time to go anywhere and the Ozzie stuff didn’t make much sense. Reno is yet another guy with a great look who could have been something if he was given the chance. Awesome did his usual but he was really just a warm body here, which is yet another waste of talent.

Reno beats up Ozzie and Daffney throws popcorn.

During the break, Jarrett jumped Awesome until Jimmy Hart and Finlay of all people broke it up. I like this attacks during the break stuff. There’s something so fake about having nothing happen until we’re back from a commercial.

This week’s sitdown interview is with Paul Orndorff earlier today in the empty arena. Tony asks about Orndorff being in charge of the Power Plant. Paul calls the students his kids and he’s so proud of all of them. The Power Plant is brutal but he’s looking for the best of the best (I guess Batista isn’t considered that great).

Orndorff keeps the students working hard and has them clean the place because they need to learn that no one is above anything. Tony brings up the Natural Born Thrillers having no respect for Orndorff and claiming that it was their talent that got them here. Mike Sanders called Orndorff a miserable old man and that’s more than enough for Paul.

It’s time for an old school rant with Paul talking about how these kids are ungrateful and how they were nothing before he got hold of them. Tony keeps egging him on by saying how often the Thrillers talk like this and you can see Orndorff getting madder and madder because this is what he gets every time he tries to help someone. Really good stuff from Orndorff here as he gets the role perfectly and nailed it, as most old school guys can.

Back live and here are the Thrillers with signs about Orndorff, including “Your best match was against Vader” and “Aren’t you dead yet?” The signs are turned around to spell out WE RULE.

Steiner hits Reno with a pipe for losing.

Booker says his knee is fine and he’s ready for Mike Sanders tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

Jindrak and O’Haire are challenging, as ordered by Nash and company. Before we get started, O’Haire says we’ll make it fair by letting Disqo be on the team. Or we could just have a tag match but that might make too much sense. Konnan sits in on commentary. O’Haire slams Disqo down to start and hits that sweet springboard clothesline of his. Disqo gets in a few shots and wisely brings in Juvy for some quick legdrops.

Off to Rey for the Bronco Buster but he dives into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. It’s off to Jindrak who gets two off a clothesline, followed by a nice Torture Rack neckbreaker for two more. Mark misses a dropkick though and it’s off to Juvy for some dropkicks of his own. In the melee, O’Haire gets in a quick tag, allowing Jindrak to throw Juvy into the air for a powerslam from Sean.

Juvy rolls to the floor so Sean hiptosses him over the top and back inside. There’s something awesome about small people being thrown around like that. Back in and the hot tag brings in Rey as everything breaks down. O’Haire kicks Disqo in the face but Juvy breaks up the Seanton Bomb and pulls Sean down with a hurricanrana. A quick Rey legdrop between the legs retains the titles.

Rating: B-. Now this is how you do the power vs. speed formula. This worked really well back and forth, even if the idea of the champions having the advantage goes completely against face/heel psychology. Jindrak and O’Haire’s good looking tandem stuff makes up for it though, along with Juvy and Rey bumping like pinballs.

Mike Sanders gets Booker T. tonight. Jarrett comes in and says he’s booked himself in a match that could end his career. Just give us the comedy reveal already.

Steiner attacks Jindrak and O’Haire as well.

Mike Sanders vs. Booker T.

Sanders tells Booker to bring it so here’s a livid Mr. T. Booker drops him with an early clothesline and hammers away with right hands in the corner. The ax kick, side kick and Book End put Sanders away in barely a minute.

Post break Booker is limping and Sanders gets beaten down as well.

Jarrett is getting his blood pressure checked before his big intimidating match.

Big Vito vs. Chuck Palumbo

This is the result of a Vito challenge. They trade early slams for two until Vito grabs a suplex and drops the top rope elbow. The top rope headbutt misses though and Palumbo hits a nice top rope shoulder for two of his own. Not that it matters as Vito hits him in the ribs and scores with the implant DDT for another quick win. So much for Nash’s boys being, you know, good.

Steiner beats up Palumbo as well. Good for him as Palumbo should be able to last two minutes against Big Vito.

Harris Twins vs. Misfits in Action

AWOL/Rection here. It’s a big fight to start as is almost always the custom in tag matches around here. The Misfits take over with AWOL working over we’ll say Don as things settle down. Since that’s too calm for WCW, here’s Storm with Major Gunns for a distraction. AWOL goes through a table because what else is he supposed to do. The H Bomb is broken up by Rection, who loads up No Laughing Matter, only to have Skipper come out and hit him with the flag. Isn’t that disrespecting the Maple Leaf? We’re still not done though as Kronik comes in for High Times on Ron, setting up No Laughing Matter for the pin.

Rating: D. Well you knew something like this was coming. Who in the world thought we needed five people running in and a weapon shot on a quick TV match? The Misfits are another team that could go somewhere if there weren’t so many factions on the show that take up space. We’re currently at seven stables and counting (Misfits, Thrillers, Team Canada, Nash’s group, Booker’s group, Filthy Animals, Dark Carnival) so how exactly are the Misfits supposed to stand out?

AWOL saves Rection from Storm.

Leia Meow whips the Dragons for losing so much. If they don’t get better, they have to lick her boots. Ok then.

Steiner and Nash interrupt Jarrett at prayer and offer to have his back out there tonight. Jarrett has to do this himself.

Jeff Jarrett vs. ???

It’s Kwee Wee. There’s nothing else to say here and if you’ve ever watched wrestling before, you knew a swerve was coming the whole way. Jarrett jumps him at the bell as Paisley sits in on commentary. Kwee Wee gets slugged down as Stevie talks about keeping his yaks intact. A hiptoss and back elbow put Jarrett down but he sidesteps a missile dropkick.

Jeff loads up the Stroke but throws him down when Mike Awesome comes out for a distraction. A quick rollup gets two on Jeff but the referee gets rid of Awesome, allowing Jeff to….do nothing. Kwee Wee tries what looks like a powerbomb but drops Jarrett for two instead. The Stroke wraps it up pretty quick.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as you could see the joke from the second they announced this in the first place. At least in this case they weren’t really trying to hide it which makes this a lot easier to sit through. Nash and Steiner playing along helped and at least the match was short enough.

Here’s Shawn Stasiak for an arm wrestling challenge. As you might expect, here’s Orndorff to answer as well as scare Stasiak half to death. Paul almost has it won but then punches Shawn in the face like a ticked off veteran should. There’s a piledriver for Stasiak before Orndorff grabs a chair and fights off the rest of the Thrillers. This REALLY hasn’t been their night but Orndorff is already better than most of the people on this show.

Cat and Ms. Jones get here.

Here’s Cat in the arena to call out Nash, who works for Russo who works for Cat. Therefore it’s time for Cat vs. Nash….which doesn’t actually start as Cat has to beat up Steiner and Jarrett. Nash comes in with a ball bat because THE CAT is just so tough. Jones tries to slap Jeff but gets guitared, which finally draws out Booker to help. The Thrillers come out and keep the beating going to end the show. I have no idea why the Animals, Awesome or Vito didn’t come out to help but that’s continuity for you.

Overall Rating: B-. This was the best Thunder in probably a year at least. Well at least the first half was as the rest turned into another goofy mess. The key thing here is they toned down all the ridiculous insanity and just told their big story with wrestling matches. That’s one of the things that drives me craziest about Russo: there’s good(ish) stuff buried deep under the mess, but there’s so much bad to get through that it’s hard to keep trying. Still though, awesome first hour this week and not a bad enough second hour to kill it.

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