Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2007: At Last

Royal Rumble 2007
Date: January 28, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antoino, Texas
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re back in Texas here and the main question is which Texas guy is winning the Rumble. The main change from last year is that ECW is around now and get to have seven guys in the Rumble because their roster isn’t deep enough to support ten. Other than that we’ve got Cena vs. Umaga in a last man standing match and Batista vs. Kennedy because Kennedy gets a lot of title shots. Let’s get to it.

This is the 20th Rumble so you know the theme of the opening video already. The other matches get a little hype as well but the Rumble dominates, as it should.

MNM vs. Hardys

Mercury had his face shattered at Armageddon in a ladder match and tonight is about revenge. Jeff is IC Champion here and Matt was given a Snapshot (MNM’s elevated DDT finisher) on the exposed concrete recently. Matt and Nitro start things off but it’s quickly off to Mercury. He goes for Matt’s dislocated jaw but lets Nitro back in for some shots to the ribs. Matt comes back with punches of his own to slow Mercury down in the corner.

Jeff comes in and speeds things up before hitting an atomic drop and legdrop to split the legs of Nitro. Back to Matt who is rubbing his face a lot. A neckbreaker gets two on Nitro but he comes back with a shot to Matt’s jaw to take him right back down. Mercury comes in and slugs away as Matt is playing Ricky Morton for a bit. Back to Nitro for some choking on the ropes and it’s already back to Joey.

Melina does that ear piercing scream of hers and Mercury goes after Matt’s jaw again. Off to a chinlock followed by a hair pull to send Matt to the mat again. Mercury goes to the middle rope but misses an elbow, allowing for the tags to Jeff and Nitro. The sitout gordbuster gets two as everything breaks down. A double suplex puts Nitro down and the Hardys go up for a legdrop from Matt and a splash from Jeff, but the latter hits knees on the way down.

Mercury comes in off the tag and gets two off a knee to the ribs. Nitro does exactly the same before sticking on the ribs for a bit more. Jeff grabs a quick rollup on the incoming Mercury but Joey goes right back to the ribs. Nitro comes in and does the same as MNM continues to keep tagging in and out very quickly. We hit a chinlock with a bodyscissors but Jeff fights out pretty quickly. He still can’t make the tag but finally backdrops Nitro down and makes the tag….which isn’t seen. I love that spot.

Jeff hits a mule kick to take Mercury down and FINALLY makes the hot tag to Matt. Things speed up a lot and Matt fires off elbows to everyone named M or N. A combination bulldog and clothesline takes MNM down for two followed by the yodeling elbow to the back of Nitro’s head. There’s Poetry in Motion to Mercury but one to Nitro misses, as Johnny grabs an Oklahoma Roll for two on Matt. The Side Effect puts Nitro down but Mercury spears Matt to the floor. As he went through the ropes though, Jeff made a blind tag and hits the Swanton on Nitro for the pin.

Rating: B. This took a long time to get going but it was building up to a nice finish. This was old school tag team stuff and that’s hard to screw up. MNM was getting a good rub off the Hardys who were as much of a nostalgia act as you could have at this point. Good stuff here and a hot opener, at least after the tag to Matt.

Coach and Teddy talk trash about brand dominance. Edge comes in to draw and runs into Kelly Kelly, who is an exhibitionist. Edge’s condescending talking to Kelly is hilarious stuff. Orton comes in to draw and threatens to throw his tag title partner out if need be. Edge: “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Booker walks in and comedy ensues.

Wrestlemania promo. I liked that All Grown Up campaign.

ECW Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Test

Lashley won the title in December and Test is the warm body that he gets to crush in his first major defense. There’s a video package for this which is basically both guys beating up RVD to show how awesome they are. Test powers Lashley back into the corner so the champion comes out with a spear to take over again. Now Test tries to choke, so Lashley suplexes him down. Nice to see them sticking with the same formula. A delayed vertical suplex puts Test on the floor and the champion follows him.

Test sends Lashley into the barricade to take over and we head back in for a chinlock. He shifts into an armbar and hits a Stunner onto the arm for two. Lashley fights out of trouble and backdrops Test before hitting a three point stands shoulder in the corner. He tries a slam but the arm gives out, allowing Test to fire his one big weapon, the big boot, but it only gets two. Lashley pops up with a clothesline to send Test to the floor….and he walks out for the countout.

Rating: D. They needed to protect TEST? Seriously? Lashley doesn’t get to pin TEST clean? The match was dull stuff in the first place before a stupid ending like that. Lashley did what he could out there but Test was as much of a worthless musclehead as you could possibly ask for at this point.

Lashley pulls Test back in and beats him up, which makes you wonder WHY DID THEY NOT DO THIS BEFORE???

Cena gets his broken ribs looked at when Vince comes in to see if Cena wants to forfeit. Vince says he can’t see (get it?) Cena as champion after tonight….and that’s it. I don’t remember them having an issue at this point but whatever.

We recap Mr. Kennedy (Anderson) vs. Batista, which is just Kennedy winning a Beat the Clock challenge and having a great record against former world champions.

Smackdown World Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Batista

Kennedy slaps Batista to start and takes over as he tries to tie Batista up. Batista slugs him down and gets two off a suplex and we head outside. Kennedy spears/shoves Batista into the steps, injuring Batista’s knee in the process. We get into a regular “hurt the big man’s knee” match which is the smartest thing they could do here. A reverse Figure Four has Batista in trouble but Kennedy gets caught holding the rope.

A running kick to Batista’s face in the corner has the champion in trouble again and a knee to the head gets two. Off to a half crab for a minute or so before Batista fights up and hits a spinebuster to put both guys down. Kennedy kicks him in the face but Batista Hulks Up. There’s a weak slam as the knee is giving out on the champion.

Batista hits a Regal Roll (Kennedy used that a lot) of all things but Kennedy hits the knee to break up the Batista Bomb. The referee gets bumped so there’s no one to count after Kennedy’s neckbreaker. A DDT gets two and JBL is LOSING IT. The fans chant for Kennedy as he goes to the middle rope, only to jump into a clothesline followed by a Batista Bomb to retain the title.

Rating: D+. The psychology was there from Kennedy but Batista didn’t really go along with it. I’m not saying he didn’t sell, but at the end of the day this was only eleven minutes long which isn’t enough time to tell the story they were going for. Also Kennedy didn’t have the Mic Check yet so he didn’t have anything to finish Batista with and everyone knew it. Not a bad match but they needed more than they had here.

Kevin Thorn draws his number. He and Ariel leave and Hornswoggle comes in to terrorize the tumbler. Apparently he’s in the Rumble too and attacks Coach for good measure. Khali comes in and scares Horny off. Kelly makes a stupid joke about holding balls, drawing in Ron Simmons for his usual line.

The Marine is on DVD.

Wrestlemania is coming and Saliva, the band that does the theme song, is in the front row.

We recap Cena vs. Umaga. Cena escaped the last PPV with the title and gave Umaga his first loss so tonight it’s last man standing. Cena is coming into this with bad ribs.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

Cena is defending and this is last man standing. Cena pounds away to start but Umaga barely moves. Umaga gets in a shot to the ribs and Cena falls to the outside, clutching his ribs. The champ gets sent into the steps and it’s all Umaga in the early going. They slug it out in the aisle and all of a sudden Cena’s punches work better. He tries to ram Umaga face first into the apron but Umaga screams and hits Cena in the ribs again.

Back in and Cena is in even more trouble with Umaga pounding on the ribs. A clothesline puts Cena down and Umaga brings in the steps. Cena knocks him off the apron though and throws the steps down onto Umaga’s (hands covering) head. It looked a lot better when Kane did it because you couldn’t see the hands but whatever. That draws a six count but more importantly it allows Cena to get a breather.

Umaga superkicks Cena down and it’s off to a bearhug. Since there are no submissions, Umaga lets Cena go and brings in some more steps. The steps are set up in the corner but Cena avoids the running hip attack (SEE??? IT WAS UMAGA AND NOT RIKISHI!!! SCREW YOU WWE ANNOUNCERS!!!) and blasts Umaga in the head with the steps. That only gets seven so Cena goes up and jumps into a spinning Rock Bottom, drawing some loud screams from the champ.

The Samoan cannonballs down onto Cena’s ribs but Cena finally knees him in the crotch to slow Umaga down. The Protobomb sends Umaga onto the steps but only gets about five as Cena hits the Shuffle to break the count. Cena tries the FU but Umaga’s weight causes Cena to fall face first into the steps. John is busted open so the fans tell him that he sucks. Ignore the fact that almost no one else could get a match this good out of Umaga I guess.

Cena gets up at eight and gets punched in the face some more, only to start Hulking Up. He pounds away on Umaga but walks into a Samoan Drop, driving the ribs and Cena’s shoulder into the mat. The Samoan Spike is blocked (for the life of me I do not get why they picked a thumb to the neck for Umaga’s finisher. The guy is a MONSTER and he pokes you in the neck?) so Umaga headbutts Cena down instead.

Umaga puts him in the Tree of Woe but Cena sits up in the corner to avoid a running headbutt. The top rope Fameasser takes Umaga down and Cena sends him shoulder first into the post. They head to the floor and Cena is covered in blood. With Umaga still laying over the ropes, Cena BLASTS HIM with a monitor to the head to put him down. Back to the floor but Umaga catches a diving Cena and drives him back first into the post.

Umaga puts Cena on the announce table and runs along the other tables, only to miss a splash and crash onto the ground. That gets nine and Cena has no idea what to do next. Estrada, Umaga’s manager, unhooks the top rope and tells Umaga to use the metal pole to blast Cena in the head. Cena catches a charging Umaga with the FU and hits him in the head with the pole. He hooks a kind of STF with the ring rope and Umaga is passing out. Umaga starts fighting up so Cena chokes him even more. FINALLY Umaga is out and Cena retains the title.

Rating: B+. This was a FIGHT which is what a last man standing match is supposed to do. I was digging the story they were telling here with Cena fighting a savage but having to become a savage himself to beat him. The fans didn’t like him at this point, but screw them as would you really rather have Umaga as champion? This was one of many awesome matches Cena had in this stretch, but OH NO kids like him so he must suck right? Give me a break.

Sandman draws his number and has a beer. Flair comes in to draw and gets hit on by Kelly. We get adult music and Extreme Expose comes in to dance with Flair, complete with club lighting. Not that I’m complaining about Layla, Brooke (Tessmacher) and Kelly dancing in barely there outfits, but WHY DID THAT HAPPEN???

Rumble video. Not much else to say here as I’m sure you get the idea by now. This is more of a history package than a hype video for this year. The theme of this year is how star studded it is. Seven guys are from ECW so I question this premise.

Royal Rumble

Flair is #1 (second time for that along with drawing #3 one year. He really doesn’t have a great record in these things) and Finlay is #2. Finlay drops Flair with a quick shoulder and we have ninety second intervals here. Flair chops away in the corner but gets backdropped down for his efforts. Kenny Dykstra of Spirit Squad fame and currently in a small feud with Flair is #3. Flair chops away at him in the corner and Finlay tries to dump Kenny.

Everyone hits everyone for awhile until Matt Hardy is #4. That’s a pretty diverse group of guys to start things off. The young and old guys pair off with Finlay and Kenny taking over. Matt takes over on Finlay and Edge is #5. Hardy avoids a spear and hits a Twist of Fate but gets taken down with a double clothesline with Kenny. Ric throws in a chair but Edge easily throws him out instead. Kenny tries to take credit despite doing nothing, so Edge throws him out too.

Tommy Dreamer is #6 and takes down Edge of all people before getting beaten up in the corner by Finlay. Sabu is #7 and actually doesn’t bring any weapons with him. Instead he finds a table under the ring and sets it up at ringside before going in to fight Dreamer. Nothing of note happens for now so here’s Gregory Helms at #8. Finlay is sent to the apron but he hangs onto the bottom rope.

The Irishman almost sends Sabu through the table but Sabu hangs on. Now Helms teases going through it but saves himself as well. Shelton Benjamin is #9 and goes for Hardy. Benjamin and Finlay both nearly go out but somehow both survive. They’ve teased that table being broken about five times already. Kane is #10 and immediately pounds away on everyone. There’s a chokeslam to Edge and an elimination for Dreamer and Sabu, the latter being chokeslammed through the table. Law of wrestling #1: you set up the table, you’re going through it.

CM Punk is #11 and is immediately called boring by JBL for not smoking and drinking. Finlay sends CM to the apron but can’t get him out. There’s the running knee to Edge’s head in the corner from Punk but again he can’t get an elimination. King Booker is #12 and dumps Helms pretty quickly. We’ve currently got Finlay, Hardy, Edge, Shelton, Kane, Booker and Punk.

Super Crazy is #13 and is knocked down by Kane before he can do much else. JBL mentions that Mil Mascaras owes him money, which he said on Raw a few months ago. I wonder if there’s something to that. Booker and Finlay go at it until Jeff Hardy is #14. The Hardys team up on Finlay (smart) before shifting over to Edge. Now they go after Kane for some reason and hit Poetry in Motion. Sandman is #15 and is gone in as many seconds thanks to Booker.

Jeff skins the cat to save himself and Orton is #16. Hopefully he and Edge (tag champions) can clear things out a bit. Yep there goes Super Crazy and Matt takes the backbreaker. Rated-RKO throws out both Hardys and things are a lot clearer now. Benoit is #17 and fires away chops at everyone. Finlay takes a German as Punk is teetering on the apron. Now Benjamin takes a German and RVD is #18.

Van Dam fires off kicks all around and Kane throws Booker out. Booker, ever the jerk, goes back in and throws out Kane. He beats on the Big Bald on the floor which didn’t set up a Mania match surprisingly enough. Viscera is #19 as things slow down a bit. We’ve got Finlay, Edge, Benjamin, Punk, Orton, Benoit, Van Dam and Viscera in there at the moment. Nitro is #20 and things are getting too full again.

Punk gets crushed in the corner by Viscera for awhile and Shelton hangs on by inches. That was impressive. Kevin Thorn is #21 and no one is really doing anything at the moment. Hardcore Holly is #22 and that’s not going to pick anything up. A bunch of guys go after Viscera and Shawn is #23. He’s in DX mode and you know he’s the hometown boy here. Shawn hits a Thesz Press on Finlay and clotheslines him out before superkicking Viscera, allowing a huge group of guys to dump him.

Shelton is gone at Shawn’s hands too. The ring is FINALLY cleared out a bit now until Masters is #24. Nitro goes up top like a schmuck and gets dumped by Benoit. Chavo Guerrero is #25 and Benoit dumps Thorn in the same fashion that he dumped Big Show in 04. Van Dam goes up, can’t find anyone to kick, and hops back down. MVP is #26 as Orton tries to dump Punk.

Nothing happens AGAIN until Carlito is #27. There are way too many people in the ring again. Shawn is sent to the apron but you know he’s not going out yet. Great Khali is #28 and swings his arms a lot on the way to the ring. The match stops as Khali gets in and he beats everyone down. Khali dumps Holly as Miz is #29. He lasts a good seven seconds and there’s only one man left. Van Dam is thrown out as are Punk and Carlito. Chavo gets dumped as well and Shawn gets chokebombed. Things look hopeless but heeeeeeeeeeere’s Taker at #30.

This gives us a final group of Edge, Orton, Michaels, MVP, Khali and Taker. Taker and Khali slug it out with everyone else down. The Dead Man finally puts Khali out with a clothesline and everyone else gets beaten down as well. MVP is eliminated and tries to get a chair but Orton takes it away and cracks Taker in the head with it. Edge tries to spear Orton down but gets scared off by the chair. Instead of going after Edge though, Orton hits the RKO on Shawn to send him down to the floor but not out.

Rated-RKO goes after Taker and we’re in a handicap match at this point. Taker fights back but can’t hit a double chokeslam. He can however hit a double clothesline while being busted open. Snake Eyes and the big boot drop Edge but as Taker goes to chokeslam Orton, Edge spears Taker down. A BIG chair shot to the head drops Taker again and it’s Conchairto time. Shawn comes back in and backdrops Orton out before superkicking Edge out to get us down to two.

The fans are WAY into this all of a sudden as Taker sits up. He looks over at Shawn and there’s the nipup. The showdown is on and Shawn pounds away in the corner to no avail. Shawn kicks the chair to the floor and gets launched into the corner so Taker can pound away even more. Shawn is knocked upside down in the corner but punches his way to safety. Shawn does a Flair Flip to the apron but Taker misses a big boot, sending HIM to the apron as well. Shawn charges into an elbow and both guys are back in.

A neckbreaker puts Taker down but Shawn can’t follow up. They slug it out and Taker kicks Shawn’s head off to take over again. Taker lifts him for a suplex and wisely puts him on the apron instead of down onto the mat. Shawn fights back and goes up, only to get crotched. Taker loads up a superplex but gets knocked down so Shawn can hit the flying elbow. Chin Music is caught and there’s a chokeslam but Taker can’t follow up. The tombstone is countered into a superkick and both guys are down again. Taker catches another superkick and dumps Shawn to the floor, nearly silencing the fans in the process.

Rating: C+. The ending stuff starting with Khali cleaning house until Taker dumps Shawn out is GREAT, but until then it’s pretty dull with way too much laying around and too many people in there. The ending here is pretty questionable too as Shawn is in his hometown and would wind up being in the actual main event of Mania anyway. Taker would beat Batista for the Smackdown Title, which makes you wonder why they didn’t have Shawn win for the big hometown win here, as the results literally would have been THE EXACT SAME THING. Not a great Rumble at all but the ending helps it a lot.

Overall Rating: C+. There are two long matches here and both of them are solid enough so I can’t complain much here. The stuff that is good is good and the stuff that is bad is bad, so while it’s not terrible, this definitely isn’t a must see show. Shawn and Taker are of course great together and would have some masterpieces at Mania in the coming years, but they couldn’t make this a great show on their own.

Ratings Comparison

Hardys vs. MNM

Original: B-

Redo: B

Bobby Lashley vs. Test

Original: D-

Redo: D

Batista vs. Mr. Kennedy

Original: B-

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. Umaga

Original: C

Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: C+

Man I REALLY liked that ending last time. I have no idea what I was thinking on the world title matches though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/26/royal-rumble-count-up-2007-the-best-spot-finally-wins/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2006: The Eddie Guerrero Show

Royal Rumble 2006
Date: January 29, 2006
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 16,178
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz

Eddie Guerrero. If you honestly believe this show is about anyone but him, you’re completely wrong and missing the point. Tonight’s show is about milking as much as we possibly can out of Eddie’s dead body, because the entirety of the Smackdown main event scene until Wrestlemania (and even glimpses of it for years to come) would be about Rey Mysterio fighting for Eddie’s memory against people like Orton. I never have been comfortable with this but it is what it is. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle. The Rumble and Edge vs. Cena gets a little time as well.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London

Kid Kash is champion coming in and this is Texas Tornado rules and one fall to a finish. Helms is from Raw but is here because it’s an open invitational. It’s a big brawl to start and everyone gangs up on Helms. I don’t know if there was a delay of some sort or just a really bad sign, but there are dozens if not hundreds of empty seats visible in the lower arena, most of them opposite the hard camera.

Helms gets beaten into the corner but Kash pulls some other people off for no apparent reason. Nunzio slams Kash onto the mat for one Noble gets two on Nunzio off a powerslam as London hits a dropsalt for two on Noble and Nunzio. Wait apparently those red seats are stairs. Those are rather distracting and the seating structure is odd as there’s a group of about eight seats per row then another set of stairs as opposed to most arenas where there are about twice that many in a row. At least the place isn’t as empty as it seemed.

Nunzio hits a slingshot to send Noble into the corner and Funaki adds a bulldog for two. We finally get to the dives with Nunzio diving on a pair of guys, allowing Noble to get two on Kash via a leg lariat. Noble dives on Helms and Nunzio on the floor and Funaki is knocked off the top onto Nunzio and Noble. London kicks Kash to the floor as well and dives on everyone not named Helms with a shooting star off the top.

Back in and London loads up a shooting star press onto Kash but Helms goes up top at the same time and hooks a swinging neckbreaker to bring London down for two. A brainbuster from Kash kills London again but two guys come in for the save. All six guys are back in the ring now and Kash gets two off a Backstabber on Nunzio. Funaki can’t hit a tornado DDT on Noble and gets caught in a gutbuster for trying. Noble gets sent to the floor by Helms and Gregory hits a Shining Wizard out of nowhere for the pin on Funaki and the title.

Rating: C+. What are you expecting to find here? It’s six guys in the ring all at once and going nuts on each other with spots. There isn’t supposed to be any sort of story or flow to it and there certainly wasn’t here. It was the right choice for an opener and the match worked well enough for its purpose. Fine but nothing memorable at all. Helms would hold the title for over a year.

Teddy gushes to Vince about how excited he is over the Rumble. Vince is happy because he has Torrie, Victoria and Candace Michelle doing the drawing. They were a heel Divas stable at the time which didn’t work at all. HHH and Orton come in to draw and only the latter seems pleased with his number. Amazingly enough, these guys got the EXACT SAME NUMBERS that Guerrero and Flair got when they came in to draw last year.

Trish is looking GREAT in a referee outfit when Mickie, currently the psycho lesbian, comes up and says she loves Trish. Ok then.

Mickie James vs. Ashley Massaro

Trish is referee and I didn’t realize she was in some barely there shorts. I miss Mickie wearing those skirts that often flew up above her waist. The problem with Ashley was simple: she wasn’t that good. Mickie cranks on the arm but Ashley counters into a wristlock of her own. Massaro armdrags Mickie down and it’s clearly Mickie flipping while Ashley moves her arm.

James heads to the floor to get a breather but Ashley hits a clothesline off the apron to take her down. Back in and Mickie snaps, basically turning heel mid-match. Mickie hooks a standing half crab to fill in some time as it’s clear Ashley has nothing to do here. We head to the floor where Mickie rams Ashley’s ribs into the post. Back in and Mickie hooks a bow and arrow hold to work on the back even more.

Ashley catches an incoming kick from Mickie and starts her “offense” but can barely hook a crucifix. The only good thing about it was Mickie’s skirt flying up but the rollup only gets two. Massaro shoves Ashley into the corner and the fans are openly booing now. She’s just absolutely horrible and thankfully Mickie kind of powerbombs her out of the corner for the sloppy pin.

Rating: D. Again, anything with Trish looking that hot involved can’t be considered a failure whatsoever. She was likely there because it was clear that the match was going to be horrible and the fans had to have something to be distracted by. Thankfully Trish and Mickie would get to have their excellent Mania match instead of another Ashley mess. Terrible stuff but hot women in tiny outfits make up for it.

Big Show draws his number. Rey comes in to talk about Eddie a bit. Apparently Eddie is joking with Rey by giving him this number.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Boogeyman

This is part of an ongoing feud, which involved Boogeyman eating a growth off of Jillian Hall’s face. Do yourself a favor and don’t ask. Oh and I forgot to mention the set. It’s themed like a coliseum with guards opening up the doors for the wrestlers to come in. They did that at some of the old King of the Rings and I still like it.

John hides behind Jillian for awhile and then bails to the floor, leaving the blonde chick to get stalked. Boogeyman puts worms in his mouth and spits them into Jillian’s mouth. Boogey gets sent to the floor and into the steps before JBL chokes away a bit more. The Clothesline misses and a pumphandle powerslam ends JBL in less than two minutes. I have no idea what the point of this was.

Mama Benjamin comes in and hits on Vince. Thankfully Shelton comes in to save Vince from a future paternity suit. Melina comes in to hit on Shelton but Mama takes him away quickly. Mama Benjamin was one of those ideas that didn’t make a ton of sense and didn’t accomplish anything but it certainly exists. MNM draws their numbers as well. Vince and hits girls sit on the couch to watch the Rumble.

Video on the Rumble, which says everyone thinks they’ll win. Vince is vindictive against Shawn around this time too. Apparently there will be some returns tonight as well.

Before the Rumble starts, the Spirit Squad comes out to give us a chant.

Royal Rumble

HHH is #1 and Mysterio is #2, naturally coming out in a lowrider and an Eddie shirt. HHH tries to power him down to start but Rey comes back with kicks to the knee. Rey hits a headscissors to take HHH down and into the corner but HHH lifts him to the apron. Rey comes back with a springboard dropkick to the back but HHH ducks the 619. Simon Dean is #3 and goes after Rey to a bunch of boos. Dean sends him to the apron and wants a high five from HHH but gets punched in the face and hit by a seated senton. The elimination is academic.

Rey takes HHH down and hits a Bronco Buster as Psychosis is #4. He immediately goes after Rey before kicking HHH down. Psychosis busts out a freaky move where he hooks a Rock Bottom grip on Rey but lifts him into the air and slams Rey face down. Rey gets put in a Razor’s Edge position but ranas Psychosis out for the elimination. Ric Flair is #5 and goes right for HHH. They slug it out with Flair taking over but ducking his head into the facebuster. Ric comes back with a crotch grab but HHH rakes the eyes and backdrops Flair out.

Big Show, who hates HHH at the moment, is #6. They were feuding at this time, I believe over HHH injuring Big Show’s hand with the hammer. Show chops him in the corner and HHH falls forward onto Show’s chest. A headbutt keeps Rey down and there’s a side slam to HHH. Like an idiot, Big Show picks up HHH and slams him to the mat instead of to the floor. Coach is #7 and makes it about thirty seconds before Show puts him out.

Show does that stupid slam thing to HHH AGAIN. I’m sure that won’t come back to haunt him or anything. The chokeslam takes HHH down again and here’s Lashley at #8. He and Show slug it out with Show getting backdropped to the mat. Kane, Big Show’s tag champion partner at this point, is #9. He and Lashley stare it down and Kane kicks Lashley’s head off.

Lashley immediately comes back with an overhead belly to belly and a third press slam to HHH. Kane takes a Dominator and Sylvan, the “Smackdown fashion consultant” is #10 and lasts about 18 seconds before Lashley throws him out. Unfortunately he turns around and gets caught in a double chokeslam followed by the elimination. The partners quickly turn on each other with Kane getting a boot up to stop a charging Show. They fight to the ropes and HHH runs up to throw them both out, emulating the same thing Shawn did in 1996 with Vader and Yokozuna.

Carlito is #11 and goes for Mysterio as is the theme tonight. There’s a Backstabber to put Rey down in the corner, where he’s been for a lot of the match tonight. Carlito punches HHH down and here’s Benoit at #12. Everyone gets a German and Carlito taps to a Crossface which means nothing here. HHH breaks it up for no apparent reason and whips Benoit hard into the corner.

The Game puts Benoit on the apron and they fight over a suplex with Benoit winding up on the top rope. Benoit headbutts HHH down and hits the Swan Dive before Booker T is #13. He’s US Champion here and in tights, which suggests an injury to me. Oh yeah he’s barely moving out there and just letting Benoit chop him. Benoit dumps him in about 20 seconds so yeah Booker must have been hurt.

Benoit chops on HHH until Joey Mercury is #14. Mercury fires off dropkicks but gets caught in Rolling Germans. Carlito jumps Benoit to break it up and Mercury pounds on Benoit a bit. Freaking Tatanka is #15, giving us a group of Mysterio, HHH, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury and Tatanka. Seriously why did the bring TATANKA back? He fires off chops as the fans do the Seminole chant.

Johnny Nitro is #16 to give us the Smackdown tag champions in the ring at the same time. HHH is upside down as Tatanka chops Nitro down. Nitro is John Morrison if you don’t remember him. Mysterio is finally back to his feet after being down for about half the time he’s been in the match. Trevor Murdoch is #17 and chops away on Tatanka as the match calms down again. Eugene is #18 and immediately Hulks Up, hooking an airplane spin on Murdoch. Mysterio hits a double bulldog to take both guys down to remind us that he’s still there.

Road Warrior Animal is #18 and immediately takes MNM’s heads off with a double clothesline. A powerslam puts Nitro down and we hit another lull. RVD is #20 and is back for the first time in nearly a year. Animal and Benoit have a staredown until Benoit gets kicked in the face. RVD kicks MNM down and backdrops Animal out to finally clear some room out in the ring.

Orlando Jordan is #21 and no one cares. Van Dam hits a kick to Carlito’s face off the top and Chavo Guerrero is #22. Nitro takes Three Amigos but Chavo goes up and is immediately knocked out by HHH. Matt Hardy is #23 and hits the Twist of Fate on Jordan. RVD and Rey combine to get HHH to the apron but they can’t get him out. MNM put out Tatanka and there are way too many people in this match with three letter initials. Super Crazy is #24 and literally flips to the ring.

At the moment we’ve got HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, Murdoch, Eugene, RVD, Jordan, Hardy, Crazy and now Shawn Michaels at #25. Why are there THIRTEEN PEOPLE in the ring at once? Everyone swarms Shawn but he punches them all off until Murdoch gets in some shots on him in the corner. There goes Trevor and Carlito knocks Shawn to the apron but not out.

Chris Masters is #26 and Hardy sends HHH to the apron. Viscera is #27 in his World’s Largest Love Machine period. He sits on Matt and does his anal rape thing as Mercury saves himself from being eliminated. Matt gets some boots up in the corner but is thrown out pretty quickly thereafter. Shelton is #28 and Benoit eliminates Eugene. Goldust returns at #29 and chops a bunch of people to no reaction.

Orton is FINALLY #30, giving us a final group of HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, RVD, Jordan, Crazy, HBK, Masters, Viscera, Benjamin, Goldust and Orton, or HALF THE PEOPLE IN THE MATCH. To give you an idea of how lame the star power is other than like three people in this, the final five were Masters, Viscera, Shelton, Goldust and Orton. Other than Randy that’s like a medium budget indy show, not the last five entrants to the Royal Rumble.

Randy almost immediately puts out Benoit. Seriously? You can’t put out Masters or Jordan? It just HAD TO BE Benoit??? An RKO takes down Viscera so Masters and Carlito can throw him out. Carlito immediately turns on his partner and dumps Masters. Goldie loads up Shattered Dreams on Carlito and gets in a good kick, only to be eliminated by RVD. Orton puts out Jordan and Shawn and HHH finally go at it. MNM double teams Shawn but gets eliminated for their efforts.

Shawn has to skin the cat to stay in and turns into a kick to the head from Shelton. Michaels is cool with that and sends Shelton to the apron followed by a superkick to eliminate him. This brings out Vince who hates Shawn and the distraction lets Shane run in and dump HBK. Shawn is ticked and runs back in and superkicks HHH after escaping a Pedigree attempt. He goes after Vince but a single referee stops him. Ok then.

We’re down to Carlito, Van Dam, HHH, Mysterio and Orton. Van Dam kicks Carlito out and we’re down to four. Van Dam kicks Orton in the head and teams up with Mysterio to beat on the Evolution guys. Rob goes up top but HHH crotches him and sends Rey into the corner to knock Van Dam out, getting us down to three. Evolution teams up on Rey but he knocks them both into the ropes for a double 619. Orton takes the seated senton but HHH clotheslines Rey down.

Orton powerslams HHH down but the RKO is countered into a spinebuster. HHH goes after Rey and gets flipped out to get us down to two. Cole’s voice is almost gone. HHH, ever the nice guy, pulls Rey to the floor and sends him into the steps. Mysterio is basically dead so Orton takes his sweet time. That’s his downfall though, as Rey counters the elimination attempt into a rana and sends Orton out for the win. Naturally he had to be #2 which the WWE considers less than #1 for absolutely no apparent reason, but that’s HHH for you.

Rating: C-. This isn’t a bad match, but man alive is it boring. There are three major problems in this match. First of all, there were WAY too many people in the ring at most given times. Like I said, once Orton got in there we had fifteen people in the ring at once. That’s double what the number should be around and it clutters things up way too much with that many people in there.

Second, as I touched on near the end, the talent pool was pretty shallow here. I mean, MNM aren’t bad but they don’t need to be in the final grouping of the Rumble. Guys like Masters and Carlito should have been eliminated earlier but just stuck in there. That gets old fast and it was begging for someone like Shawn to come in there and eliminate like five guys at once.

Finally, since there were so many people in there at once, it was hard to focus on any single story. You had stuff like HHH trying to go wire to wire but that got lost in the shuffle. Rey was on the mat for long stretches of time so he wasn’t really noticed either. Shawn’s issues with Vince only popped up for the elimination and were only touched on. When you can’t focus on one thing, you can’t focus on anything and that makes for a dull match. One good thing was that Rey wasn’t a guaranteed winner, so there was some drama. It’s not a bad Rumble but it was badly run.

Mickie comes in to hit on Trish as she does an interview on WWE.com.

Rey celebrates when Edge comes in and says don’t even think of challenging him at Mania.

We recap Edge vs. Cena. Edge won MITB back at Mania and waited nine months before cashing in on Cena after Cena survived the Elimination Chamber. Tonight is the rematch three weeks later.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena walks across a catwalk that lowered from the ceiling and hops in over the top. You know, in case it’s wasn’t clear enough that Edge had no chance here. Cena clotheslines him down to start but has to chase Edge back inside, allowing the champion to send Cena into the buckle. We head to the floor again with Cena having to avoid Lita and getting sent into the steps as a result. A baseball slide sends Cena over the barricade and the match stops again.

Edge tries for a countout but Cena DIVES back in at nine. Back in and Cena pounds away but charges into a spinwheel kick for two from the Canadian. Edge punches Cena to the floor again but goes after him instead of going for the countout again. Cena gets sent into the steps and back inside a missile dropkick gets two for the champion. Edge loads up a superplex but gets shoved off, only to avoid a guillotine legdrop from Cena.

Cena grabs a quick FU attempt but Edge counters into a rollup for two. A big boot puts Cena down but he rolls through a top rope cross body for two. Edge tries a rear naked choke of all things which Cena eventually breaks up. The spear misses and there’s a DDT to put both guys down. It’s Cena up first to start his finishing sequence but Lita distracts the referee. Edge misses a charge and is sent into Lita, setting up Cena for the FU and STFU to get the title back.

Rating: D+. This was a world title match at the Royal Rumble? Why? Edge never felt like he had Cena in trouble and the match wasn’t anything that you would remember five minutes after it ended. Lita’s cleavage was awesome but when that’s the best thing about a match….well you shouldn’t be surprised because it often was in Edge’s matches, but still, pretty lame match here that made Edge look like a footnote. Obviously that would change, but not a good start for him here.

Edge freaks out on Todd Grisham in the back. Edge storms off and Lita panics a bit. We get a random Hacksaw Jim Duggan cameo (does anyone do those better?) to call her a HO!

We recap Angle vs. Henry. Batista had been scheduled to face henry but tore his triceps and had to vacate the title. Angle won the title in a battle royal and gets to defend here. The idea is that Henry is way too strong for Angle. Seriously, that’s the story. Why this main evented the show isn’t quite clear.

Angle is all I’M THE BEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD and no one can beat me. He leaves but comes back to tell Mark Henry that he SUCKS. This version of Angle was AWESOME, as he would just go out there and go beast mode on everyone and make them look like fools trying to keep up with him. Also he was perfect for a quick title reign like this as no one would question him popping up out of nowhere and taking the title. Those kind of people are hard to find but Kurt was one of them.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Angle gets overpowered to start. That’s about all there is to say for the first two minutes or so, as Kurt keeps getting shoved around and then taken to the floor. Henry whips him into the steps and then stands on Angle’s chest back inside. We hit a bearhug for a bit until Angle hiptosses out of it. He tries a cross body like an imbecile but rolls out of the World’s Strongest Slam. The ankle lock and Angle Slam are no good so Henry clubs him down again.

Instead Angle hits a German (kind of) to put both guys down. The Angle Slam gets two (duh) and the ankle lock is broken up again. The counter causes the referee to get bumped so Angle gets a chair. A low blow and two chair shots take Henry down for two, so Angle takes a buckle off. Kurt drop toeholds him into the buckle and rolls Henry up to retain. Our hero everyone.

Rating: D. Seriously, why was this……

And a gong strikes. That’s why.

As for the match, it sucked pretty terribly. Why would we buy Henry as a potential champion here after him showing no proof of being at that level? The match wasn’t even ten minutes long, making it feel much more like a TV match than a PPV title match. I know they wanted to do the big ending with Taker, but there had to be a better way to do it.

Taker comes out in a freaking horse drawn chariot and motions that he wants the title. Then he shoots lightning from his hands at the stuff over the ring, before slamming his arms down to send lightning at the posts. The ring collapses to end the show. Yeah that happened.

Overall Rating: D. I watched this show over the course of two days, and honestly the only thing that came to my mind other than the last ten minutes of it was how Trish looked in that referee outfit. That’s how completely forgettable this show is. Nothing came out of this show as Cena was champion all over again, making the last three weeks feel like nothing. Nothing to see here and definitely not worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Mickie James vs. Ashley Massaro

Original: C-

Redo: D

Boogeyman vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: F-

Redo: N/A

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: C-

John Cena vs. Edge

Original: B

Redo: D+

Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Original: D-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

What was I on for that Edge vs. Cena match?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/25/royal-rumble-count-up-2006-eddie-guerrero-puts-on-a-mask-and-wins-the-rumble/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – December 19, 1994: Even Santa Has Given Up

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 19, 1994
Location: Liberty High School, Liberty, New York
Attendance: 1,400
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Shawn Michaels

It’s a double main event tonight with Lex Luger vs. IRS and Well Dunn vs. Bushwhackers II! Now how in the world could this not be the best show of the year so far? We’re also starting to get kind of close to the Royal Rumble but the only thing mentioned so far has been the Tag Team Title match with participants to be announced. Maybe we can get a Christmas miracle or something. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

IRS vs. Lex Luger

Luger has what looks like the most bored kid in history carry the American flag to the ring. Lex shoves him down to start as Shawn calls him the Total Package. Vince is trying to figure out who the Druids are and thinks it could be either King Kong Bundy or Tatanka. That’s so stupid I’m not even sure how to make fun of it. A hiptoss and slam put IRS down and there’s an AMERICAN (though not a Real American because that’s been taken) clothesline to give Luger a near fall.

IRS sends Lex outside though and the Druid (who apparently weighs somewhere between 240 and 450lbs) posts him to give his boss (I guess?) control. We see some rings on the Druid’s hand, which Vince says look familiar. He doesn’t say where he’s seen them of course but they do look familiar.

We take a break and come back with IRS dropping some elbows for two more. It’s off to the chinlock before DiBiase offers some advice. Apparently he said “drop a leg and cover”, only to have Luger come back with right hands (Shawn: “Luger punches like a girl.”). The Druid trips Luger up and slaps him though, triggering a brawl which leads to a countout win for IRS.

Rating: D. Another lame match but at least it was shorter this time around. The Million Dollar Team is still one of the worst stables I’ve ever seen though as the thing just keeps going with nothing interesting going on in the slightest. I mean, IRS as the main wrestler just isn’t going to work no matter what you do with him. He’s fine as a midcard guy but they’re actually making him the focus. That’s almost frightening.

The Druid is Tatanka.

We recap the first round of the Tag Team Title tournament.

The Bushwhackers are getting the Fink ready by rubbing sardines in his face.

Jeff Jarrett runs into comedian Rip Taylor at Bally’s in Las Vegas. This continues to be bad.

Smoking Gunns vs. Roy Raymond/Chris Avery

Billy and Raymond get things going as we hear about the Gunns entering rodeo competitions. Well that’s better than entering toughman competitions on live television. Bart suplexes Roy as the announcers break down the upcoming Bushwhackers vs. Well Dunn match. Avery comes in and has about the same success until he pulls some hair to take over…..for all of two seconds. Bart hiptosses him again as Shawn just lays into Vince for his obsession with cowboys. A powerbomb/top rope legdrop combo finally puts Chris away.

Rating: D. The Smoking Gunns are one of the most successful teams from one of the worst eras in tag team history. Until we FINALLY got to Owen/Bulldog as champions in 1996, the titles died more and more every single week. Teams like the Godwinns didn’t help things and it’s no wonder that the Gunns stayed on top so long.

Speaking of which, Henry Godwinn debuts next week.

This week’s King’s Court has Bob Backlund as a guest. They’re milking the heck out of this guy. Lawler isn’t pleased with Jack Tunney ripping Backlund off in something he doesn’t explain well enough. Backlund knows what he is and knows where the plebeians stand. The fans chant EIGHT SECONDS (the amount of time it took for Diesel to beat Backlund) as Bob uses a bunch of big words.

Enough of that though as Backlund talks about hurting Bret Hart at Survivor Series. It was like he was putting the chickenwing on all the people at once. Bob is happy to face Bret at any time, whenever he comes back. Finally, Bob wants to talk about Diesel, who stole the title from him. Backlund: “Kevin Nash, you’re like a neanderthal.” Shawn: “Did you hear that Vince? KEVIN NASH!” The hatred in Vince’s voice is great. Bob calls Nash the tyrannosaurus rex of the WWF, meaning he’ll be extinct soon due to a chickenwing.

Bob Holly vs. Chris Canyon

Yes that Canyon (well Kanyon), who is in a weird purple half singlet and gold trunks. Holly armdrags him into an armbar to start, only to get caught in a belly to back suplex for two. It’s off to a chinlock from Bob (not something you often see from a face) as Shawn brags about himself to kill time. Holly slams him down and drops a top rope elbow for the pin.

Rating: D-. A lot of that is due to the bizarre color combination on Canyon. Seriously it was that distracting. Holly continues to be one of those guys who was watchable in the ring but never had a chance because of the ridiculous gimmick he was stuck with. Canyon would do better later on of course.

Here’s a Royal Rumble control center with Bret vs. Diesel being announced for the first time on Raw. Diesel says Bret has jumped right on this title match idea by naming the time and place. He isn’t sure how Bret has gotten away with wearing pink for so long because a real man wears black with a little gold. At the Rumble, they’ll both be black and blue.

We also get the first ten entrants for the Rumble itself. This just makes me sad.

Well Dunn vs. Bushwhackers

The managers are the big draw here. Again, this just makes me sad. The Bushwhackers clean house again to start with both villains being knocked to the floor. Even the Fink gets to do some whacking. We settle down to Dunn taking over on Butch, only to have Luke dragged inside to send Dunn into Well. Luke gets kicked in the ribs from the apron and Well comes in with a top rope elbow to the jaw. Dunn dives into a raised boot and it’s off to Butch for more clotheslines. Harvey tries to interfere but Fink pulls him down by the pants, allowing Butch to roll Well up for the pin.

Rating: D. Somehow, this might have been a big step up over their first match. Well Dunn was clearly never going anywhere and somehow this was more about the fighting managers than anything else. At least we got the comedy spot at the end because this would have been a waste of time otherwise.

Santa Claus sits on Mabel’s lap for whatever reason. Comedy I believe.

Jim Neidhart vs. Nick Barberri

Neidhart yells at the Spanish announcers for some reason. Forearms put Nick down and a backdrop sends him over the top. Back in and a bad camel clutch makes Nick give up. This was it for Neidhart for a few years for whatever reason.

One more Rumble preview and a look at next week’s card wraps things up.

Overall Rating: D. Dang 1995 is looking better every week. I can’t get over the fact that they though Well Dunn vs. Bushwhackers II was going to be an interesting draw. You really can tell that they’re taking some time off at this point and it’s getting more and more pitiful every single week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – January 14, 2016: You Knew This Was Coming

Smackdown
Date: January 14, 2016
Location: CajunDome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting closer to the Royal Rumble and now it’s clear that Brock Lesnar is going to be in the match itself, making it even harder for Roman Reigns to hold on to the WWE World Title. As for tonight though, we have Alberto Del Rio getting his rematch for the US Title after losing the title to Kalisto earlier in the week. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Renee Young is outside waiting on Dean Ambrose to arrive. As luck would have it, Dean arrives in a black truck just as Renee says she’ll keep us posted. Dean says he has a statement to make regarding Kevin Owens but he’d rather make it in the ring. Therefore, here’s Dean in the arena to really get things going. Before he can say anything, we see a clip of Ambrose busting Sheamus open on Monday and getting in another brawl with Owens.

Dean says it’s time to put the kids to bed and pop some cheap champagne because he has an announcement. He asks for and receives a drum roll (“Wow that actually works?”) but says cut because he needs Owens out here for this one. No Owens, so Dean asks for another drum roll and challenges Owens to a last man standing match for the title at the Rumble.

This brings out Sheamus instead, who says Owens is way more tanned than he is. Ambrose is starting to get on Sheamus’ nerves because Dean is living in a fantasy world right now. That earns Sheamus a joke about his hair but Sheamus would rather talk about losing the World Title to Reigns.

To get the title back, Sheamus has to win the Royal Rumble and that’s not to his liking. He also doesn’t like the stitches in his head so he wants to pay Dean back. Dean offers to beat on Sheamus until he cries but here’s Owens to interrupt. Owens likes these odds but is out here to accept Dean’s challenge. As for now though, the beatdown is on until Neville (Dean’s partner tonight) comes out for the save.

Dudley Boyz vs. Luke Harper/Erick Rowan

Tables match because this feud is being picked back up for some reason. This is also the first of three matches in a triple main event. The Wyatts appear out of the darkness and jump Bubba and D-Von from behind as Strowman watches from the floor. D-Von is sent outside and it’s Bubba getting double teamed, only to have Rowan get backdropped out to the floor. There’s a What’s Up to Harper and it’s table time less than two minutes in. Well they’re certainly keeping things moving.

Harper pops back up though and decks D-Von, allowing Rowan to kick Bubba in the face as we take a break. Back with Rowan having issues setting up a table in the ring, allowing Bubba to save D-Von from a double suplex. The reverse 3D drops Harper and it’s time to beat on Rowan with a kendo stick. Strowman comes in and misses a charge into the post, followed by Harper being knocked off the steps and through a table at 8:35.

Rating: D. Huh? What was the thinking here? You go back to a feud that the Wyatts clearly won and then have them lose the nothing match? Also why in the world was this a tables match? If you want to have Harper and Rowan lose then let one of them take a 3D. I mean, Rowan loses almost every match he has to begin with so is another loss going to hurt him? This was just strange all around.

Post match, Strowman gets up and starts wrecking things before putting D-Von through two tables in the corner. Harper beats on Bubba at ringside before a double chokeslam puts Bubba through two tables as well. This is the same thinking that they used with having Owens lose to Neville in thirty seconds and then beat him up after the match. Why not just have them win in the first place and then do the beatdown to make them look even more awesome? Wouldn’t that make more sense?

We look back at Kalisto winning the US Title on Monday.

Kalisto talks about losing hope during his training. Then he saw people like Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio to give him hope for his career. I’m sure the fact that he doesn’t have a name plate on the belt is nothing to worry about.

Social Outcasts vs. Goldust/Damien Sandow/Jack Swagger/Zack Ryder

Slater is sent to the floor by Sandow to start and takes half a victory lap before they’re stopped by their opponents. Back in and Axel takes over on Goldust before Rose comes in for two off an elbow. Goldust kicks him in the face though and it’s a double tag to Swagger vs. Dallas. The Vader Bomb into the Patriot Lock has Bo in trouble but Axel makes a save. It’s off to Ryder for his usual on Dallas including the Broski Boot for two. Rose offers another quick distraction though and the Bodog puts Ryder away at 3:41.

Rating: D+. This did its job though I have no idea how they’re going to go anywhere with the Outcasts. You have to give them a few early wins to make the team mean something though and I’m sure this is going to be one of their biggest ever. It’s better than having them sit around doing nothing and wasting away though so this was fine.

We look at Cena having shoulder surgery.

Long recap of Reigns vs. All on Monday, including Lesnar coming out to destroy him. You would think that’s Wrestlemania but for some reason I’m not sure yet.

Alberto promises to get his title back tonight.

US Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto

Kalisto is defending and has new black tights. This is the second match in the triple main event. Del Rio runs him over to start and rains down right hands in the corner before a belly to back gets two. It’s already time to go for the mask as Ranallo talks about Del Rio being on the first Pride card that he ever called in Japan. Kalisto knocks Del Rio off the top and scores with a missile dropkick, only to have Del Rio kick him away for two more.

Del Rio is getting a bit cocky in his aggressiveness though, allowing Kalisto to hurricanrana him shoulder first into the post. That still can’t keep him in control though as Del Rio comes back with a Codebreaker to the arm off the middle rope to send Kalisto outside. The bad arm is sent into the steps for two and we hit the armbar. Lawler is actually coming off like a heel here as he keeps making short jokes about Kalisto and laughing at his pain.

Del Rio sends the good arm into the post and avoids a charge to send it in again as we take a break. Back with King Barrett at ringside as Kalisto is tied in the Tree of Woe for kicks to the ribs. The top rope double stomp is broken up with a kick to the ribs though and Kalisto takes him down with a super hurricanrana. I’m so glad someone is starting to counter that stupid move. It really shouldn’t be that hard.

Kalisto still can’t speed things up though as he misses the corkscrew cross body, setting up the low superkick for two. So Kalisto’s head is tougher than Cena’s? It must be the mask. A quick hurricanrana and the hurricanrana driver get two for the champ but Del Rio drops him AGAIN. Alberto talks trash until Kalisto jumps up for a jawbreaker, followed by a snap enziguri.

The Salida Del Sol is broken up by a Barrett distraction and the cross armbreaker goes on (I didn’t know Del Rio still used that). Kalisto finally makes the rope and tries to speed things up again as he sends Del Rio outside. Barrett pulls Del Rio away from a suicide dive though and now the armbreaker gives Alberto the title back at 15:03.

Rating: C-. This was just a step above a squash with Del Rio barely being on defense for the entire match. Kalisto was cut off at every turn and didn’t even have control at the beginning. The help from Barrett will ensure another match at the Rumble (instead of just having Kalisto win the title there for a bigger moment) but I have a bad feeling we’ll be stuck with Del Rio as champion after that as well because WWE sees something in keeping him as a really boring heel.

Sting Hall of Fame video.

Becky Lynch looks at a video of her recent feud with Charlotte, including her jumping Charlotte on Monday. Charlotte’s recent actions really got to Becky but Monday’s attack makes her want a match for the title at the Rumble. She doesn’t care how many Flairs are around because there will be a lass kicking.

Becky Lynch vs. Brie Bella

Brie isn’t happy after Becky broke up her match on Monday and talks trash as she sends Becky face first into the mat. Some elbows to the head set up a chinlock before Brie fires off kicks in the corner. Becky ducks a big one though and runs Brie over before throwing her down with a t-bone suplex. The Bella Buster is countered and the Disarm-Her puts Brie away at 2:33.

Sheamus/Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose/Neville

Here’s the final part of the triple main event, meaning over half of the matches on this show were main events. Sheamus and Neville get things going with the big man being taken down off a hurricanrana. Dean comes in for an Arn Anderson eye rake across the top rope and a clothesline to put Sheamus on the floor. A plancha takes out Owens but Sheamus clotheslines Dean as we take a break.

Back with Ambrose getting choked on the ropes before Sheamus drops a knee for two. Dean finally dives over for a tag off to Neville and things speed up. Unfortunately the crowd doesn’t really pick up as Neville can’t German suplex Owens. It’s back to Sheamus who charges into a superkick, only to have Owens break up a shooting star. Owens: “I won’t do it again ref!” Kevin starts yelling at Ranallo (initiation I guess) as Lawler keeps heeling it up with jokes about Neville’s ears.

Sheamus grabs a chinlock because we’re at the point in a WWE tag match where a heel puts on a chinlock. Owens comes in for a chinlock of his own, though at least his has some more pizazz. A suplex sends Neville flying into the corner but he snaps off the German to avoid the Cannonball. Ambrose comes in for his usual, including the tornado DDT on Sheamus.

The top rope standing elbow gets two and everything breaks down. Owens kicks Dean to break up the rebound lariat, setting up White Noise for two more. The Pop Up Powerbomb doesn’t work so Dean suicide dives Owens. Sheamus is back up though, allowing Owens to take the cover off the announcers’ table and blast Dean with it for the DQ at 13:30.

Rating: C. Well that happened. This was every average Smackdown main event that you’ve seen in recent months and that’s not a good thing. It wasn’t bad but it’s just another match that doesn’t mean anything, doesn’t change anything, and just makes me wish that it was time for the Rumble already when a match might be important.

Neville breaks up a powerbomb through the table and Dirty Deeds plants Owens back inside. Owens takes a Red Arrow to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It says a lot when a show with a title change can feel this insignificant. I know last week’s show was a big deal but this was right back where we were before Smackdown changed networks, which means Thursdays are going to feel very long all over again. Kalisto losing was deflating and I’m having issues buying him as a threat to get the title back. This wasn’t a bad show but it was mostly uninteresting or unimportant, which is all Smackdown seems to be 90% of the time.

Results

Dudley Boyz b. Luke Harper/Erick Rowan – Harper was knocked through a table

Social Outcasts b. Goldust/Jack Swagger/Adam Rose/Zack Ryder – Bodog to Ryder

Alberto Del Rio b. Kalisto – Cross armbreaker

Becky Lynch b. Brie Bella – Disarm-Her

Neville/Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus/Kevin Owens went to a double countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Monday Night Raw – December 12, 1994: How Bob Backlund Is Like Steve Austin

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 12, 1994
Location: Liberty High School, Liberty, New York
Attendance: 1,400
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Shawn Michaels

So I just knocked out the show from the previous week and it occurs to me that I could actually get a lot of these done in a hurry. At this point I’ve done just under half of the episode of Monday Night Raw and I really could add to that with a lot of the earlier years. Therefore, I might as well take care of some of them as I could do a month’s worth of shows in the time it takes me to do a single pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Bob Backlund rants about Doink besmirching the WWF and leading it into hypocrisy.

Doink is ready to show off his amateur background. What a bizarre main event choice.

Opening sequence.

Bob Backlund vs. Doink the Clown

I’d like to remind you that Backlund was WWF World Champion about two and a half weeks ago. I can’t get over the fact that they’re actually in a high school gym. It’s something you would expect to make a TNA joke over but here it is on Raw. Dink comes out for a distraction so Doink can jump Backlund from behind. Maybe Backlund is right about Doink being evil.

Back up and they stare at each other for a bit as the fans are entirely behind Doink. Backlund takes him down and rides him a bit until Doink grabs the ropes for the save. So we’ve got a crazy man and a clown having an amateur wrestling match. I guess Vince was right with his “anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation” line. A nice amateur trip sets up a rollup for two on Bob, who has a bunch of Doink’s makeup on his back.

Backlund has to flip out of a headscissors before walking into a hiptoss for two. They get up again and Bob nails him with a hard forearm to the face before starting in on the arm. We take a break and come back with Bob holding a Fujiwara armbar. That’s too interesting so it’s off to a regular wristlock as Shawn keeps talking about managing Backlund. How bored were they to come up with this kind of stuff?

Somehow we’re about ten minutes into this match (not counting the commercial) as Backlund works on a hammerlock. Doink FINALLY comes back with a middle rope cross body and a small package for two, only to miss an elbow drop. That means the chickenwing to make Doink tap.

Rating: F. There was a match back in 2001 with Steve Austin vs. Chris Benoit where Austin started doing a bunch of amateur stuff to shock Benoit. The thing is, that match worked because Austin knew how to play to a crowd and make the match fun. Other than an interesting idea here, this was one of the least interesting things I’ve seen in a long time as Doink could have been anyone and had the same match. That’s never a good thing and made for a waste of the one good idea they had here.

We look at the brackets for the Tag Team Title tournament.

Tatanka/Bam Bam Bigelow

Men on a Mission

Headshrinkers

Jim Neidhart/Owen Hart

Heavenly Bodies

Bushwhackers

Smoking Gunns

Well Dunn

Shawn has no thoughts on the tournament because he isn’t involved. Instead, he shows us some Raw on SNES. There’s even a VHS with tips and strategies. Allow me to simplify things: punch and kick a lot then pin the other guy.

Jeff Jarrett is moving to Las Vegas and is going to have a sweepstakes. Uh…yeah.

Razor Ramon vs. Mark Starr

Non-title of course. Razor starts with the driving shoulders as Shawn makes fun of Barbara Walters. Some very loud chops have Starr reeling but he gets in a cross body. Razor actually botches the catch into the fall away slam but is smart enough to turn it into a knee injury to protect himself. That kind of on the fly thinking is never seen these days and it’s sad. Razor just blasts him with a forearm though and it’s the belly to back superplex and Razor’s Edge for the easy pin.

Rating: D. That knee injury thing was such a breath of air. I mean, the match was still a squash but it was so nice to see them not just waste time and make the match look fake. Nothing else to see here, though Starr would actually be put in a low level tag team in WCW in a few years.

Make-A-Wish ad.

It’s time for another King’s Court which really is the best way to showcase Lawler at this point. In this case, he tells the kids to close their eyes and imagine what they’ll get for Christmas. “Now what do you see? Nothing! Exactly what you’ll get!” The guest tonight is IRS, who has Undertaker’s druids with him as part of one of the lamest feuds in company history.

Lawler wants to talk about athletes making a fortune and then charging for autographs. On top of that (which is really pitiful in the first place), they’re not even paying taxes. The biggest tax cheat of them all though is the Undertaker, who claims to have the power of the urn. IRS however has the power of the Million Dollar Man’s money, which is more than enough to make Undertaker pay. Also, IRS is going to make Lex Luger pay next week and promises to have friends behind him.

Hakushi is still coming.

Aldo Montoya vs. Nick Barberri

Montoya recently turned down a spot on Ted DiBiase’s Million Dollar Team and Shawn just rips him apart for his decision. Nick tries to get Montoya in an early wheelbarrow slam only to be sent throat first into the middle rope. Harvey Wippleman comes out to watch as Aldo cranks on an armbar. Barberri sends him into the buckle as we’re promised Well Dunn vs. the Bushwhackers AGAIN next week. Egads what is wrong with this company? Aldo makes his comeback as Shawn points out that Montoya’s mask is a jockstrap. Montoya finishes with a quick middle rope bulldog.

Wippleman yells at the Fink, who will be in the Bushwhackers’ corner next week.

Clips from the 100th episode of WWF Mania.

King Kong Bundy vs. Bobby Knight

Knight (dang I wish it was the famous one) bounces off Bundy to start and is sent hard into the post for his efforts. Back in and Bundy yells a lot before actually going to the middle rope, only to have Knight bail to the floor out of self preservation. Bundy slowly pounds him down and finishes with the Avalanche (big splash) for a five count.

Rating: D. Yeah what do you want from me here? This was longer than it needed to be and there’s only so much you can get out of King Kong Bundy in 1994. Nothing to see here, as is so often the case with most of the shows from this era. Bundy was actually a decent choice for a monster with no upside, which is what he needed to be for the most part.

Santa Claus comes out and gives Shawn a toy Ladies Title to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Oh yeah this was bad. That Santa bit at the end was the best thing of the night and it was all of a minute long. It’s bad enough that it’s this year and now I have to sit through the Christmas season as well, meaning everyone isn’t interested in trying? Horrible show here and one of the weakest I’ve ever seen. At least it was short though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw – December 5, 1994: I Had To Start Somewhere

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 5, 1994
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Shawn Michaels

This was on a list of requested shows so I might as well knock some of them out. That and I’ve never actually done an episode from 1994 and if I’m going to (eventually) do all of the episodes in history, I need to start somewhere. I have no idea why this was requested as it’s a pretty dead time in the promotion’s history. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence. I miss that old song, though Vince has to talk over it with an advertisement.

Shawn Michaels is brought out for commentary.

Jeff Jarrett vs. British Bulldog

Of note here: a cable puller “screws up”, giving us the debut of the Roadie, later to be known as Road Dogg. An early armdrag takes Bulldog down and it’s already time for some strutting. Jarrett takes him down again and walks over Bulldog’s back (Vince: “Shades of Shawn Michaels!”) for some more posing. A hiptoss doesn’t work as well though as Bulldog sends Jeff out to the floor before doing Jeff’s strut in a funny bit.

Back in and Jeff, with tinsel between his legs, gets run over again because he’s not bright enough to realize that the power isn’t working. Smith keeps countering a headscissors but the cable puller claps Jeff back to his feet. There’s the delayed vertical (with Jeff doing a great terrified face) but Bulldog gets crotched on top for a superplex. We’re off to a weak chinlock for a good bit before going to a break.

Back with Jeff missing a middle rope fist drop, followed by a double clothesline to put both guys down. Shawn again points out the tinsel on Jarrett’s tights, likely because it’s rather shiny and Shawn is easily distracted. Somehow this makes Vince refer to Jeff as the Tim Allen of the WWF.

Jeff grabs a sleeper for a long time before a bulldog to the Bulldog (you know these announcers are going to crack jokes about that one) gets two. Back to the chinlock as this is going way too long. Bulldog fights up with an atomic drop and a series of clotheslines to send Jarrett outside. Jeff staggers up the aisle but is quickly caught, only to have the cable puller grab Bulldog’s leg, allowing Jeff to beat the count back in.

Rating: D+. This was your usual one long match on Raw back in the day, but that doesn’t mean it’s good. There was too much chinlockery going on here and they easily could have cut out about three or four minutes. The result was the right choice though as they might have finally found a way to get people to care about Jeff Jarrett. I mean, I wouldn’t bet on it but it’s always possible.

House show ads. Now there’s something you don’t see that often anymore.

Some WWF wrestlers were at a dinner for American sportcasters with keynote speaker….Gerald Ford?

1-2-3 Kid vs. Barry Horowitz

Kid starts fast with a dropkick and the rapid fire kicks in the corner. Barry comes back with a quick butterfly suplex as Vince plugs Diesel being in the King’s Court tonight, only to get on Shawn’s nerves. There’s a Hennig necksnap for no cover as Vince begs people to come to the house shows. Not that it matters as the Kid comes back with two spinwheel kicks and an Oklahoma Roll for the pin.

Preview of next week’s show with crazy Bob Backlund vs. Doink the Clown. I actually kind of want to see that mess.

Ad for the new WWF Raw game for SNES. That game wasn’t bad actually.

Kwang vs. Scott Taylor

Better known as Savio Vega in a mask vs. Scotty 2 Hotty. Kwang drops Taylor with a shot to the face before dropping him with a faceplant. Shawn brags about his contract being better than Michael Jordan’s baseball deal and we hit the nerve hold. Harvey Wippleman yells at Howard Finkel to continue their horrible feud that actually existed for reasons I’ll never understand. Kwang’s running spinwheel kick crushes Taylor in the corner and it’s back to the nerve hold. Another spinwheel kick puts Taylor away, thank goodness. Kwang was such a weak character and it’s no shock that he didn’t last.

Ad for Lex Luger vs. Owen Hart on Action Zone.

It’s time for the King’s Court (Lawler’s interview segment). After some good old audience insulting, here’s the surprise guest: Shawn Michaels! So Vince was wrong about Diesel? Lawler calls Diesel stupid for doing things like buying a zebra and calling it Spot. Shawn claims to have plucked Diesel from obscurity (well yeah Vinnie Vegas was pretty obscure) and no one puts him down, including some 7’0 goon. Everything Diesel has ever earned was because of Shawn and he made Diesel on his own. However, Shawn can also disassemble him just as fast. If Diesel wants to find him, just come to the Heartbreak Hotel.

Bob Holly crashed in his latest race. This is making me long for the “This Week in WCW Motorsports” segments.

There will be a special 100th episode celebration of WWF Mania. I remember liking that show.

Hakushi is coming.

Well Dunn vs. Bushwhackers

See, one is named Well and the other is named Dunn. They’re managed by Wippleman in case you were still confused about how much potential they had. The Bushwhackers drop both guys with a double clothesline to start but Well drops Luke with an ax handle from the apron. We get some breaking news: there will be a tournament for the vacant Tag Team Titles. So I guess this is like a boring preview? Not that we’ll see any of it because the whole thing is taking place on Superstars.

Well dives onto Luke’s back as this is actually less interesting than I was expecting. Some rapid fire legdrops keep Luke in trouble and Shawn plugs a movie airing on USA. Even more legdrops don’t actually make the match any better so Luke clotheslines him down for a breather. The hot tag brings in Butch o clean maybe a room or two until Harvey trips him up, allowing Dunn to get in a knee to the back for the pin.

Rating: D-. Again, one was named Well and the other was named Dunn. Is there any real surprise that WCW was able to take over so easily? The only interesting part here was hearing Shawn cracking jokes for five minutes as he knew this was a disaster. Nothing to see here and I continue to be amazed that the Bushwhackers still had jobs at this point.

Fink tells the referee what happened but nothing changes.

Bob Backlund wants to exterminate Doink next week on his path to being WWF Champion again.

Overall Rating: D. Well that was bad. They were certainly in the Saturday Night’s Main Event format at this point with the one big match going on first and then hoping people fell asleep and couldn’t change the channel for the rest of the horrible show. It’s no surprise that this era has basically been erased from history after this mess. For some reason though, I’m sure it’s only going to get worse.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




2015 Awards: Worst Major Show of the Year

This is always an interesting one.

We’ll go chronologically with the nominees here and start with the Royal Rumble. I actually didn’t mind this show at first but the more I think about it the worse it seems. The problem here is very simple: the Rumble itself sucked. I mean it totally sucked. It’s not so much that it’s bad but it was just so freaking boring. There was no secret about the fact that Reigns was winning and then they go out of their way to give him Big Show and Kane at the end (plus the real finish with Rusev). The triple threat was amazing but other than that there’s just nothing on here. When a third of the show bombs, there’s little saving it.

Continuing with the Reigns run, we have Fastlane. The thing is, I really kind of liked this show. The key to remember is that Fastlane was a two match show and both of those matches more than delivered. You couple that with a good Tag Team Title match and a nice six man opener and the show really wasn’t that bad. Completely unnecessary yes, but far from bad.

Now we get to something that really deserves a mention with Slammiversary. Much like Fastlane it really didn’t need to exist, but in this case the show was nothing. The big draw was Jeff Jarrett returning to win the old TV Title to help set up that stupid GFW invasion which didn’t go anywhere because it was a lame idea. The rest of the show was nothing interesting either because TNA was worried about spoiling their precious TV show. Instead, screw the fans that are willing to pay for your big show because that’s going to keep money rolling in. Typical TNA though, which is what makes it even worse.

Next up we’ll go to another country for AAA TripleMania XXIII. This is another tricky one as the action itself is overshadowed by the horrible production and technical issues. There’s no way around this as you could barely hear the show half the time due to the persistent buzzing, as well as the ending of the show being cut off. It didn’t help that Matt Striker was on commentary because he’s on EVERY PAY PER VIEW EVER anymore. These things were such major problems and it’s really hard to overlook them.

The other thing though is the show really wasn’t very good. There are definitely worse shows and the double main event was solid enough to keep it from being a runaway disaster but the rest of the show just bombed. It felt like a tribute to wrestlers and feuds from twenty years ago and that doesn’t make for an entertaining three hours, at least not for outside fans. When you have bad technical issues and bad wrestling, it’s really hard to defend a show.

Then there’s TNA’s other pay per view: Bound For Glory. Just like last year’s FAR worse show from Japan, this show had almost no time to set anything up because of the screwy taping schedule and that still stupid GFW invasion. Other than that though, the former Brodus Clay won one of the worst matches in years in a 25 minute gauntlet match, Kurt Angle got another big win because he needs it so badly and then Matt Hardy won the World Title. Why? BECAUSE HE’S MATT FREAKING HARDY AND A LEGEND THAT YOU ALL CARE ABOUT!

Bound For Glory didn’t need to exist, was thrown together, and then wound up meaning nothing because the World Title was vacated less than two days later for the sake of setting up the World Title Series. How annoyed do you think the fans who actually paid for this show were when they found out that none of this actually mattered? TNA isn’t in a place to cater to its live audience this much but they do it time after time no matter what.

Finally we have Survivor Series, where WWE also had the chance to reshape things with a tournament. This went well enough with two watchable matches and then a bad main event. Sheamus cashing in Money in the Bank made things even worse because, just like the Bound For Glory main event, whatever you saw on the show wound up meaning nothing. At least WWE didn’t really hide the fact that the cash-in was coming, though it didn’t make it much better.

The show had another big draw though in the Undertaker/Kane vs. the Wyatt Family. This was also everything the fans were expecting: a dull match, a predictable ending, and another big waste of time that could have led somewhere but wound up being another way to praise some older guys who are only so interesting in the first place. After that all you had was a pretty boring midcard and that made for a horrible show.

Overall…..I think I’ll take Survivor Series over TripleMania here. Survivor Series at least had the potential to be something while the AAA show really felt like it was just there and if it happened to be good then so be it. One of the major WWE shows should be worth watching though and when you take away any of the impact, some good to pretty good wrestling just isn’t worth it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Middle Kingdom Wrestling – December 13, 2015: The Most Important Thing

Middle Kingdom Wrestling Episode 5
Date:
December 13, 2015
Location: CWE Gym, Dongguan, China
Commentators: Eddie Strong, Cam Ferguson

This is the first season finale, meaning the finals of the MKW Championship tournament. The show started really slowly but it’s picked up a bit in the last few shows. I still wouldn’t really call it good but given how different this is, you can only ask so much. It’s going to help to get to some different stories aside from the tournament, which is the case in any wrestling company. Let’s get to it.

We open with a much needed recap of the tournament as it’s been about two months since the last episode went up.

CWE Title: The Slam vs. Black Mamba

Slam is defending and is a much bigger deal than most of the people in the tournament, though I’m still not sure what the CWE is. Mamba jumps Slam from behind to start and gets two off a quick clothesline. Something like an AA into an armbar puts Mamba down as Slam continues to be one of the most polished guys in the promotion.

A quick consultation with bodyguard Da Li Sam doesn’t really work as Mamba walks into a Side Effect for two with Sam breaking up the count. For some reason that’s not a DQ and neither is Sam CHOKING THE REFEREE. Dude even ECW would have thrown this out already. Mamba sprays something in Slam’s eyes to take over before grabbing a DDT for two. Slam pops back up (without selling the eyes) and grabs another AA for two more.

The announcers debate whether a knee drop is legal or not (huh?) as Mamba heads outside again. This time it’s the much bigger Sam getting in, which could be a bit more interesting. Slam beats up Sam and suddenly I feel like I’m in a Dr. Seuss book. Mama comes back in and rakes the eyes (this referee is worthless) to set up a Scorpion Death Drop for two. That’s about it though as Slam pops up (again) and grabs a suplex into a cutter (kind of like a TKO) to retain.

Rating: D. This didn’t do it for me. The idea of Mamba having to cheat to stand a chance against Slam was fine but they probably should have just done Slam vs. Sam (egads with the rhyming) here. Mamba really doesn’t have a character other than he’s a guy with a bodyguard and that’s not really enough to get me into a big showdown.

Also Slam not selling ANYTHING got old in a hurry. I get that he’s a Goldberg style character, but even Goldberg would go down if someone blinded him. This had the structure of something good but needed a lot more thought and a better heel. Oh and the referee sucked. Like really sucked. At least have him get distracted or bumped or something.

Da Li Sam introduces the replacement opponent for Dalton Bragg in the tournament final: Voodoo, a guy in a red mask. Well that’s rather simple.

MKW Title: Dalton Bragg vs. Voodoo

The title is vacant coming in and Bragg is pretty easily the crowd favorite. Voodoo keeps saying he’s got this. We hit the stall button and as usual, Bragg comes off as the most experienced guy in the company as he tries to get the crowd to boo the cowardly heel. We get the opening bell and Voodoo wants to shake Bragg’s injured left arm (Which sends us into a flashback of Len Bai injuring Bragg’s arm earlier in the tournament. You don’t often see flashbacks on wrestling shows so points for something new, though shouldn’t commentary be pointing that out?).

As expected, Voodoo cranks on the arm as commentary finally kicks back in, ranting about how Voodoo has been thrown out of every Chinese promotion. You would think that could have been set up before the match. Now they start talking about various things Voodoo pulled in other promotions. Naturally they don’t go into specifics because I highly doubt these things ever happened and that’s the best sign I’ve seen yet from these guys. Wrestling promotions don’t seem to get that THEY CAN MAKE STUFF UP. Do that more often.

Bragg comes back with some cross bodies for two before crotching Voodoo on top. Everyone heads to the floor and Bragg gets caught by Sam, allowing Voodoo to get in a kick to the arm. Voodoo stays on the arm and tries to get the fans to cry. Nice touch. Back in and we hit the armbar, followed by some good old fashioned cheating from Sam.

Bragg gets his boots up in the corner but runs into a DDT on the arm to keep Voodoo in control. There’s a hammerlock slam to stay on the arm, only to have Bragg nip up and catch Voodoo with an enziguri on top. The high spot of the match is a superplex to put both guys down again. They trade kicks to the arm with neither guy getting the advantage in another sequence that doesn’t make a ton of sense.

Commentary is gone for some reason as Bragg nails a spin kick to the head for two but Sam offers more distraction, allowing Voodoo to get in a good looking wheelbarrow faceplant for two of his own. Since he doesn’t seem to have a finisher, Voodoo loads up a chain but hits Sam by mistake, allowing Bragg to come back with a springboard Codebreaker for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Definitely a better match with the arm work, though it kind of disappeared halfway through. Voodoo was much better than Mamba as he actually did something, though again you can see that Bragg is the most experienced guy around here. This probably needed to be two minutes shorter and Voodoo needs a finisher, but the groundwork was much stronger here and it made for a better match. It’s also rather surprising that they went with an American champion and actually pushed him as a face, but I’d rather do that than go with an inaugural heel champion.

Bragg gets the title and the credits roll.

Wait we’re not done as we get a teaser for season two. The Slam comes out for a staredown with Bragg, presumably making him the first challenger. That’s the smartest thing they could do right now.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was watchable but it’s still needing a lot of work. Focusing on Bragg and the Slam is the best thing they could do, but at the same time the rest of their roster really needs the most help. The good thing here though is they have a champion and now they can move on to some other stuff which could do wonders (well ok maybe just some good) for the promotion as a whole. It’s a nice effort but the glaring holes are still around.

That’s it for season one and I’m really not sure what to think so far. Above all else, it’s clear that there isn’t a lot of experience on the roster. If there’s one thing this company needs more than anything, it’s coaching. It really feels like these guys have been given very little direction aside from the bare bones of “you’re good, you’re bad and you win.” Off the top of my head, aside from Selfie King, I can’t think of anyone on the roster who has a gimmick. You don’t need anything mind blowing, but there’s really nothing separating most of the characters.

This is where promos could help, even if they’re translated to English. Just tell us something about each person and give me a reason (as moderate as it might be) to be interested in them. On the fourth episode, Ash had a promo about how he was mad about being cheated out of the tournament and wanted a match for revenge. That told me everything I needed to know about the next match and gave me a reason to care about the story. Do more of that and explain who these people are a little more (commentary can do a lot of the heavy lifting there) and things will get a lot better in a hurry.

Also, get these guys on some weights. Save for Sam, everyone looks like they weigh about 150lbs. I know there’s a limited talent pool to pick from, but there almost has to be some people with better physiques to pick from. It gets distracting at times as it feels like I could take some of these guys out.

Overall though, this really does feel like the bare bones of a promotion. Now that being said, there was a story being told and I could pick up on it more often than not which is the most important thing a wrestling promotion can do. There’s A LOT of stuff that needs to be improved on but this could have been a disaster and wound up being watchable most of the time. Keep the shows short and give us some more stories/characters and things will get better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




New Column: YES! NO! MAYBE!

Looking at Daniel Bryan, because what else do you talk about when you’re in that awkward period leading up to the Rumble?

 

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-yes-no-maybe/47938/




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2005: Vince Fell Down

Royal Rumble 2005
Date: January 30, 2005
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz

It’s time for a new set of guys to take their place on top of the company and what better time to do that than at the Rumble? Other than the Rumble, we’ve got the final blowoff of Orton vs. HHH in a feud that still makes me shake my head to this day. Also it’s Big Show vs. JBL vs. Angle for the Smackdown Title in a match that sounds so uninteresting I’d rather watch last year’s show all over again. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is designed like a clock counting down in the Rumble. Cool idea there.

I almost forgot: this is the West Side Rumble, which is actually designed on a theme of West Side Story, as in gangs of Raw and Smackdown guys snapping their fingers and singing. Remember that THIS was considered the best idea and that someone received a paycheck for doing this. Let that sink in when you’re unemployed next time.

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Edge is mad that he didn’t get the title shot at Taboo Tuesday and is finally turning heel, which he would be for years to come. Edge jumps Shawn before Shawn can take off his vest, only to get sent back to the floor by Shawn. Back in and Shawn chops away in the corner but Edge comes back with a swinging neckbreaker to take over. Edge is embracing the evil here and pokes Shawn in the eye but it only ticks Shawn off, resulting in a Thesz Press by Shawn.

The Canadian is sent back to the floor but he catches Shawn in an Edge-O-Matic to take over again. A baseball slide keeps Shawn down and we head back inside. The fans are firmly behind Shawn here, which means the heel turn is working for Edge. Shawn tries a standing rana but gets caught in a powerbomb for two instead. Off to a rear naked choke from Edge which stays on for a good while.

As Shawn fights up, Edge slams him right back down to stop the comeback before doing Shawn’s pose. Shawn gets guillotined on the top but Edge jumps into a punch to the ribs for two. Shawn counters a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two but Edge clotheslines him right back down. We hit the chinlock again although for far less time here. Michaels comes back with an atomic drop and they mistime something pretty badly with Shawn waiting on one side of the ring while Edge stumbles around on the other side.

Anyway Shawn pounds away in the corner and grabs a rollup for two, prompting Edge to try to walk out. The imbecile of a referee holds Shawn back, allowing Edge to sneak up from behind and spear Shawn to the floor. Shawn finally crawls back in and Edge dances a bit. Edge tunes up the band and spears Shawn down for two more, sending Edge into a fit. He pulls his own hair out and does those awesome facials that only Edge can do.

With nothing else to try, Edge puts Shawn on top for a superplex, only to get knocked down for the flying elbow from Shawn. Sweet Chin Music is countered into an electric chair drop for two more and Edge is very frustrated. Edge rolls through a sunset flip into the Edgeucator (imagine a Sharpshooter but with Edge behind Shawn like an ankle lock) but Shawn makes the rope. After a small package gets two for Shawn, Edge reverses a rollup into one of his own and grabs the ropes for the cheap pin.

Rating: B-. Decent match here but at nearly 20 minutes it’s too long. I’m not sure if I like the ending or not either, as Edge cheating shows that he’s embracing the heel turn, but I don’t think cheating and then hitting a move like another spear would have been a bad choice either. Still though, solid way to further Edge’s turn and a very long opener, which isn’t a terrible idea.

Teddy and Eric banter about who is going to win. Apparently we’re doing the old school tumbler thing to draw numbers with. Flair and Eddie come in (Flair hits on Torrie of course) to draw and Flair is very happy with his number. Eddie is disappointed, so he picks Flair’s pocket and steals his number. See, THIS is the kind of stuff we need more of. It enforces Eddie’s character and is funny at the same time, unlike the stupid stuff we get today that doesn’t help anyone.

Heidenreich is panicking about caskets when Snitsky comes up. Heavy breathing ensues and Snitsky says he has an idea.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. Basically Heidenreich wants to replace Undertaker is his chance in a casket match. Most people didn’t think much of Heidenreich and they would wind up being proven correct. He would be followed by Great Khali in the long line of strange guys to face Undertaker.

The casket is brought out.

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Taker grabs a headlock to start and pulls Heidenreich towards the casket but (Jon) Heidenreich runs away. That works so well that we do it again and Jon is terrified. Since that didn’t quite work, Taker hooks the leg with a half crab, causing Heidenreich to crawl towards the ropes in front of the casket. As we ignore the problem of crawling to the ropes, Jon bails to the floor to take the fight out there.

Heidenreich sends Taker into the casket and pounds his head into it, which apparently isn’t a problem for him. Back in and Heidenreich pounds away in the corner, only to get caught in a modified triangle choke. Taker pulls the hold down to the mat and Heidenreich is almost out, so here’s Snitsky to break up the hold. After a double suplex to Taker, the monsters start pulling him to the casket…..which has Kane inside.

Kane, who was feuding with Snitsky over Snitsky punting a plastic version of the baby that Kane’s wife Lita (just go with it) lost, destroys both guys and takes Snitsky into the crowd. Heidenreich starts shoving the casket away very slowly before slamming Taker into the steps. Heidenreich slides the casket into Taker, which looks rather stupid as Taker had nothing behind him to be crushed against but whatever.

Back in and Jon puts on a cobra clutch which chokes Taker out enough to get him into the casket. Well mostly in at least as Taker sticks an arm out and chokes away. With Heidenreich’s torso in the casket, Taker drops the apron legdrop in the spot of the match. Back in and Heidenreich is suddenly fine, pounding away on the Dead Man and hitting a Boss Man Slam for a cover. Taker chokes his way out of the casket and wins a slugout, followed by a bad running DDT. Chokeslam and tombstone hit and we’re done.

Rating: D. This just didn’t work. At the end of the day, Heidenreich just didn’t work at all and he never came close to it. This was supposed to be a preview of Snitsky/Heidenreich vs. Kane/Taker at Mania, but thankfully they went with Kane in MITB and Taker vs. Orton in a great match, whereas Snitsky and Heidenreich didn’t even make it onto the show.

Teddy yells at Eddie to get Flair’s number back. Evolution comes in and a beatdown nearly ensues. Eddie has to give the number back, and he throws in Flair’s wallet too. Batista is going to go draw for the Rumble but HHH wants to talk about the match with Orton. Tensions flare but Flair calms things down. I think I smell a showdown.

Christian is here to draw his number and he’s well pleased. Cena shows up and hits on Christy but Christian isn’t pleased. He says rapping isn’t hard and challenges Cena to a battle rap. Tomko won’t give Christian a beat so he has to go it alone. Christian actually rhymes a bit but can’t rhyme charisma. Cena makes gay jokes and isn’t nearly as funny as Christian.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This match has a backstory that isn’t important enough to explain to us. Apparently Angle had a last man standing match with JBL but the winner is even less important than the backstory. JBL is defending. Angle bails to the floor to start so Show runs over JBL a few times. There’s the loud chop in the corner followed by a legdrop which finally draws Angle into the ring for a save.

Now it’s Kurt getting a big chop in the corner. Cole says that’s like getting hit in the chest with a skillet. My question continues to be: how does anyone know what that feels like? Is that what goes on at WWE headquarters when there aren’t any shows on? Show clotheslines both guys to the floor to a surprisingly big reaction. Angle tries a German on the floor which fails completely, so Show picks up the steps.

Show loads up the announce table and climbs the steps to chokeslam JBL through said table. Before he can though, Angle hits Show low and blasts him with a monitor, knocking Show through the table. Back inside and Angle puts JBL in an armbar followed by a keylock. Kurt rolls the Germans but walks into a big boot for two. Big Show gets back in and there’s a double clothesline and headbutts all around. He slams Angle onto JBL to a big reaction. When did Big Show get this popular? Both guys get crushed in the corner and another double clothesline puts both guys down.

Show loads up a double chokeslam but the other guys go High/Low to take Show down. Angle Germans JBL down and hits a bad Angle Slam which gives JBL two. There’s a chokeslam to JBL but he gets a foot on the rope. Out to the floor and Show spears JBL through the barricade in his signature spot, putting all three guys down.

Back in and Angle goes after Show with a chair but gets flapjacked face first onto the steel. Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns, Angle’s lackeys, come out for the save as JBL’s Cabinet try to wake up the champion. Show beats up Jindrak and Reigns as Orlando Jordan puts JBL in the ring for the Clothesline to pin Angle to retain.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches I was expecting to suck but it wound up being pretty solid. Angle is going to be good no matter what he does and Show had some solid motivation out there for a change. JBL escaping with the title was a recurring theme for nearly a year until he ran into a buzzsaw called John Cena in a few months. Shockingly good match here.

Batista won’t sign Carlito’s petition to get rid of Teddy Long. Carlito loads up the apple, looks at Batista, and swallows. Funny bit.

Batista goes to draw his number and hears Bischoff bar Evolution from ringside for the next match. Big Dave seems very happy to tell HHH.

Long video recapping HHH vs. Orton. They hate each other, Orton was never supposed to get another shot, so tonight he gets another shot.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is defending. This is when Orton was still young and a not quite plucky face. He punches Orton to the floor and gets two off a dropkick back inside. HHH pounds away in the corner but gets caught in Snake Eyes to stop him cold again. Orton tries the RKO again but gets dumped to the floor, which thankfully doesn’t break his shoulder again. HHH sends him into the steps and heads back in for some knees to Orton’s back.

The Game goes after the taped up knee and wraps it around the post because he can. HHH modifies the cannonball down onto the leg by dropping an elbow instead of sitting on it. After a quick attempt at a small package by Orton, HHH puts on a LONG Figure Four, lasting way longer than almost any other I can remember. Orton finally turns it over, sending HHH retreating to the floor.

Orton sends him over the announce table and pounds away before heading back in for his backbreaker. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Orton as does a regular one. The powerslam by Orton gets two as he doesn’t seem interested in selling the knee at all. HHH counters punching in the corner into an atomic drop to slow things down again. HHH goes up top for no apparent reason and gets armdragged down, allowing Orton to hit a top rope cross body (his old finisher) for two.

Orton counters a Pedigree attempt into a catapult but HHH counters the RKO for at least the third time before hitting the high knee for two. Randy is bleeding from the lip. The Pedigree is escaped again and Orton gets two off a clothesline. The champ rolls to the floor again and gets sent into the steps for trying to hide. Back in and Orton pounds away in the corner, only to miss a DDT attempt and possibly give himself a concussion.

The referee looks at Orton to stall even more, as I think they’re going for some big emotional moment where Orton fights through adversity. HHH charges at Orton and knocks out the referee at the same time. It’s hammer time but HHH misses his charge and hits the post. Back inside and Orton gets the hammer, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline. HHH throws away the hammer and hits the Pedigree to retain.

Rating: D+. As usual, these two do not work well together at all. This was one of their worse matches too, as Orton never seemed to have HHH even remotely in danger at all. At the end, HHH had Orton dead to rites for a long time and won clean (he never used the hammer) with a Pedigree. Orton’s face push was killed dead here so he had to turn heel and feud with the Undertaker soon after this. Not a good match and kind of headscratching booking.

Angle literally steals Nunzio’s number and spot in the Rumble.

Teddy tells JBL and company that Jibbles has to defend the title against Big Show in a barbed wire steel cage match at No Way Out.

Royal Rumble

Eddie Guerrero is #1 and Benoit is #2. Dang Benoit is on a run of bad luck in these things. I think we’ve got 90 second intervals again here. Feeling out process to start and they get into a technical standoff of course. Eddie hooks one of the few chinlocks in Rumble history until Daniel Puder, the winner of Tough Enough 4 (beating Mike MIZanin in the finals) is #3. He gets on the mic and says that he’ll be the first Tough Enough Champion to win the Rumble, drawing “are you serious” glares from Benoit and Eddie.

Benoit and Eddie fire off chops in the corner followed by a double suplex because they can. Eddie hits Three Amigos and Hardcore Holly is #4. Holly asks if he can have some fun with Puder and rips some skin off with chops in the corner. Benoit and Eddie get in some chops of their own before Holly kicks Puder low, hits the Alabama Slam, and throws him out. Hurricane is #5 as Guerrero and Benoit dump Holly.

Hurricane gets double teamed but Eddie tries a double cross, only to get chopped for his efforts. Hurricane hits a Blockbuster on Eddie but Benoit chops him down and whips him into Eddie for the elimination. Kenzo Suzuki (one of the most forgettable footnotes in wrestling history) is #6. Just like everyone else, Benoit and Eddie pound on him in the corner with chops and suplexes, but Benoit turns on Eddie ala earlier but only throws him to the apron.

Edge is #7 to a BIG pop. He beats on everyone in sight but gets clotheslined down by Benoit. Rey Mysterio is #8 and my goodness does Suzuki look out of place in there. Thankfully Rey headscissors him out about twenty seconds after entering, getting us down to an AWESOME tag match if they ever got around to doing it. Edge goes after Guerrero and here’s Shelton Benjamin, the current IC Champion and on pure fire at this point, at #9.

There isn’t a bad combination in the ring at the moment. Benoit tries to dump Rey but Eddie tries to put both of them out. Shelton can’t eliminate Edge so he walks into a headscissors from Rey instead. Here’s Booker at #10 to keep the talent level high. Question for discussion: who is the worst worker in the ring at the moment? Here’s Eric Bischoff to cheer on the Raw guys as Benoit puts Eddie in a Boston Crab.

Jericho is #11 to a BIG pop. Teddy Long comes out to cheer as well as various people beat on each other. Luther Reigns is #12 to stop the hot streak dead. With four Raw guys (Benoit, Edge, Jericho and Benjamin) and four Smackdown guys (Booker, Luther, Mysterio and Guerrero), it’s time for a showdown ala the West Side Rumble that the show is based on. That’s a cool idea in theory, but what happened to the “every man for himself” concept?

Muhammad Hassan is #13 and the match stops cold. Everyone surrounds Hassan and the group beatdown is on. The fans REALLY dig this, which says a lot about Hassan’s potential. He was going to win the world title over Batista in Washington DC at Summerslam, but real life issues got in his way. Hassan is out in less than a minute and here’s Orlando Jordan at #14. Tazz says we can compare Jordan to Benjamin. Other than a good look, talent, charisma or fan interest, they are indeed neck and neck.

Scotty 2 Hotty is #15 but Hassan jumps him in the aisle, keeping him from ever getting into the ring. Taker beat him down in the aisle in 2002 also so it’s not the best even for Mr. Hotty. The ring is getting too full now but most of the guys are talented enough that I can live with it. Charlie Haas is #16 and Luther is put out by Booker, as is Jordan. That clears things out a bit. Booker stops for a Spinarooni and charges into a low bridge from Eddie to get rid of him.

Renee Dupree is #17, giving us Benoit, Guerrero, Edge, Mysterio, Haas, Jericho, Benjamin and Dupree. The World’s Greatest Tag Team hits their Shelton jumps over Charlie spot to Renee but Shelton misses a splash in the corner and gets dumped by Edge. Simon Dean is #18 but he stops to do exercises on the floor before getting in. JR goes off on him in a funny bit. Eddie stops to look at him and Edge dumps Guerrero as a result.

Shawn is #19 and superkicks Simon out, doing some Hindu Squats to celebrate. Edge tries to corner Mysterio in a corner. JR: “Makes a lot of sense.” Shawn backdrops Charlie out and Kurt Angle is #20. He hits Angle Slams on everything in sight but tries the ankle lock on Shawn. Michaels rolls through and superkicks Angle out after less than 40 seconds. Coach is #21 and you can hear JR groan. He gets in a single shot on Benoit and runs to hide.

Edge tries to put Mysterio out and here’s Jindrak at #22. Angle comes back in and dumps Michaels before blasting him with the steps and putting him in the ankle lock. I’m thinking we need a masterpiece at Wrestlemania to settle this. Viscera is #23 and he pounds on everyone in sight. Paul London is #24 and nearly slides out of the ring from sliding in so far. Dupree takes him down but stops to dance, allowing Jericho to dump him.

London gets sent to the apron but slides back in as Cena (BIG pop) is #25. He gets in a shot on everyone and backdrops Viscera out. Cena and Benoit slug it out as Snitsky is #26. He’s still kind of a threat at this point and runs over everyone in sight. Londdon gets knocked to the apron again and hit with a HUGE clothesline for an even bigger backflip off the apron to the floor. That made a lot of highlight reels.

Snitsky and Cena stare each other down and John takes a big boot. Kane is #27 complete with pyro. Tazz: “WHY DO I HAVE TO SIT OVER HERE??? THIS IS NUTS!!!” Chokeslams all around as London is taken out on a stretcher. Jindrak goes out thanks to Kane and Coach of all people tries to avenge him. Batista is #28 and the pop that Cena got looks like a whimper. Snitsky is gone immediately and it’s time for a showdown with Kane. The crowd is WAY into Batista as he powerbombs Kane.

There goes Jericho thanks to Big Dave but Edge hangs on. Christian is #29 and he goes right after Cena. Cena is all like BRING IT ON and stomps Christian down in the corner. Rey hits a 619 on Kane and Cena FU’s the monster out. Flair is #30, giving us a final group of Benoit, Edge, Mysterio, Coach, Cena, Batsita, Christian and Flair. Not bad at all with one exception. Evolution teams up for a spinebuster on Coach for the elimination before doing the same to Christian.

Benoit chops away at Flair but walks into a spinebuster and the elimination by Ric. Flair goes for a toss out of Batista but gets glared at in response. Edge and Mysterio dropkick Batista down and Edge dumps Flair, getting us down to Edge, Mysterio, Cena and Batista. Edge spears Cena and Batista down but Mysterio avoids the one coming at him. There’s a 619 to the Canadian but a springboard legdrop misses and Edge spears Rey out. Edge charges at Cena and we’re down to Cena vs. Batista.

The fans REALLY like this (and they’re in red(ish) and blue to match their brands) and the staredown is on. Cena slaps away (clearly open handed) and tries the FU over the top but Batista blocks it. Dave loads up the Bomb but Cena fights out of it and they head to the ropes where both fall out, seemingly at the same time. Seriously, it’s so close you can’t fairly say one of them went out first.

We have a split decision, so here’s Vince to charge out, slide into the ring….and destroy his knees and rip both of his quadriceps at the exact same time. While Vince sits on the mat (and hopefully doesn’t seeing Batista dying laughing), both guys throw each other out and Vince restarts the match. Why this means we don’t start with Benoit and Guerrero again isn’t explained but it’s spinebuster and elimination for Batista, sending Big Dave to the main event of Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. I don’t remember liking this as much the first time around but this was really good stuff. That segment in the first part with all the talent was reminiscent of the 1990 edition where there was a string of incredibly talented guys to start things off. Then things slowed down a bit, but once Cena hit the crowd, who was already red hot all night, got turned up to white levels and things went through the roof. Goofy ending (which wasn’t planned) aside, this was great stuff and a forgotten classic Rumble.

Overall Rating: B. This is a solid show overall with only the casket match being really bad. The Raw Title match isn’t terrible but it’s not worth watching either, especially with Orton’s lack of selling being horrible. Batista and Cena would of course go on to Wrestlemania to win both world titles and dominate the company for years to come, making this a truly game changing show. Good stuff here and certainly worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B

Redo: B-

The Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Original: D-

Redo: D

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B

Redo: C+

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: B-

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Like I said, I liked the Rumble a lot more this time around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/24/royal-rumble-count-up-2005-the-rise-of-the-new-generation/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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