Smackdown
Date: January 14, 2016
Location: CajunDome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting closer to the Royal Rumble and now it’s clear that Brock Lesnar is going to be in the match itself, making it even harder for Roman Reigns to hold on to the WWE World Title. As for tonight though, we have Alberto Del Rio getting his rematch for the US Title after losing the title to Kalisto earlier in the week. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Renee Young is outside waiting on Dean Ambrose to arrive. As luck would have it, Dean arrives in a black truck just as Renee says she’ll keep us posted. Dean says he has a statement to make regarding Kevin Owens but he’d rather make it in the ring. Therefore, here’s Dean in the arena to really get things going. Before he can say anything, we see a clip of Ambrose busting Sheamus open on Monday and getting in another brawl with Owens.

Dean says it’s time to put the kids to bed and pop some cheap champagne because he has an announcement. He asks for and receives a drum roll (“Wow that actually works?”) but says cut because he needs Owens out here for this one. No Owens, so Dean asks for another drum roll and challenges Owens to a last man standing match for the title at the Rumble.

This brings out Sheamus instead, who says Owens is way more tanned than he is. Ambrose is starting to get on Sheamus’ nerves because Dean is living in a fantasy world right now. That earns Sheamus a joke about his hair but Sheamus would rather talk about losing the World Title to Reigns.

To get the title back, Sheamus has to win the Royal Rumble and that’s not to his liking. He also doesn’t like the stitches in his head so he wants to pay Dean back. Dean offers to beat on Sheamus until he cries but here’s Owens to interrupt. Owens likes these odds but is out here to accept Dean’s challenge. As for now though, the beatdown is on until Neville (Dean’s partner tonight) comes out for the save.

Dudley Boyz vs. Luke Harper/Erick Rowan

Tables match because this feud is being picked back up for some reason. This is also the first of three matches in a triple main event. The Wyatts appear out of the darkness and jump Bubba and D-Von from behind as Strowman watches from the floor. D-Von is sent outside and it’s Bubba getting double teamed, only to have Rowan get backdropped out to the floor. There’s a What’s Up to Harper and it’s table time less than two minutes in. Well they’re certainly keeping things moving.

Harper pops back up though and decks D-Von, allowing Rowan to kick Bubba in the face as we take a break. Back with Rowan having issues setting up a table in the ring, allowing Bubba to save D-Von from a double suplex. The reverse 3D drops Harper and it’s time to beat on Rowan with a kendo stick. Strowman comes in and misses a charge into the post, followed by Harper being knocked off the steps and through a table at 8:35.

Rating: D. Huh? What was the thinking here? You go back to a feud that the Wyatts clearly won and then have them lose the nothing match? Also why in the world was this a tables match? If you want to have Harper and Rowan lose then let one of them take a 3D. I mean, Rowan loses almost every match he has to begin with so is another loss going to hurt him? This was just strange all around.

Post match, Strowman gets up and starts wrecking things before putting D-Von through two tables in the corner. Harper beats on Bubba at ringside before a double chokeslam puts Bubba through two tables as well. This is the same thinking that they used with having Owens lose to Neville in thirty seconds and then beat him up after the match. Why not just have them win in the first place and then do the beatdown to make them look even more awesome? Wouldn’t that make more sense?

We look back at Kalisto winning the US Title on Monday.

Kalisto talks about losing hope during his training. Then he saw people like Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio to give him hope for his career. I’m sure the fact that he doesn’t have a name plate on the belt is nothing to worry about.

Social Outcasts vs. Goldust/Damien Sandow/Jack Swagger/Zack Ryder

Slater is sent to the floor by Sandow to start and takes half a victory lap before they’re stopped by their opponents. Back in and Axel takes over on Goldust before Rose comes in for two off an elbow. Goldust kicks him in the face though and it’s a double tag to Swagger vs. Dallas. The Vader Bomb into the Patriot Lock has Bo in trouble but Axel makes a save. It’s off to Ryder for his usual on Dallas including the Broski Boot for two. Rose offers another quick distraction though and the Bodog puts Ryder away at 3:41.

Rating: D+. This did its job though I have no idea how they’re going to go anywhere with the Outcasts. You have to give them a few early wins to make the team mean something though and I’m sure this is going to be one of their biggest ever. It’s better than having them sit around doing nothing and wasting away though so this was fine.

We look at Cena having shoulder surgery.

Long recap of Reigns vs. All on Monday, including Lesnar coming out to destroy him. You would think that’s Wrestlemania but for some reason I’m not sure yet.

Alberto promises to get his title back tonight.

US Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto

Kalisto is defending and has new black tights. This is the second match in the triple main event. Del Rio runs him over to start and rains down right hands in the corner before a belly to back gets two. It’s already time to go for the mask as Ranallo talks about Del Rio being on the first Pride card that he ever called in Japan. Kalisto knocks Del Rio off the top and scores with a missile dropkick, only to have Del Rio kick him away for two more.

Del Rio is getting a bit cocky in his aggressiveness though, allowing Kalisto to hurricanrana him shoulder first into the post. That still can’t keep him in control though as Del Rio comes back with a Codebreaker to the arm off the middle rope to send Kalisto outside. The bad arm is sent into the steps for two and we hit the armbar. Lawler is actually coming off like a heel here as he keeps making short jokes about Kalisto and laughing at his pain.

Del Rio sends the good arm into the post and avoids a charge to send it in again as we take a break. Back with King Barrett at ringside as Kalisto is tied in the Tree of Woe for kicks to the ribs. The top rope double stomp is broken up with a kick to the ribs though and Kalisto takes him down with a super hurricanrana. I’m so glad someone is starting to counter that stupid move. It really shouldn’t be that hard.

Kalisto still can’t speed things up though as he misses the corkscrew cross body, setting up the low superkick for two. So Kalisto’s head is tougher than Cena’s? It must be the mask. A quick hurricanrana and the hurricanrana driver get two for the champ but Del Rio drops him AGAIN. Alberto talks trash until Kalisto jumps up for a jawbreaker, followed by a snap enziguri.

The Salida Del Sol is broken up by a Barrett distraction and the cross armbreaker goes on (I didn’t know Del Rio still used that). Kalisto finally makes the rope and tries to speed things up again as he sends Del Rio outside. Barrett pulls Del Rio away from a suicide dive though and now the armbreaker gives Alberto the title back at 15:03.

Rating: C-. This was just a step above a squash with Del Rio barely being on defense for the entire match. Kalisto was cut off at every turn and didn’t even have control at the beginning. The help from Barrett will ensure another match at the Rumble (instead of just having Kalisto win the title there for a bigger moment) but I have a bad feeling we’ll be stuck with Del Rio as champion after that as well because WWE sees something in keeping him as a really boring heel.

Sting Hall of Fame video.

Becky Lynch looks at a video of her recent feud with Charlotte, including her jumping Charlotte on Monday. Charlotte’s recent actions really got to Becky but Monday’s attack makes her want a match for the title at the Rumble. She doesn’t care how many Flairs are around because there will be a lass kicking.

Becky Lynch vs. Brie Bella

Brie isn’t happy after Becky broke up her match on Monday and talks trash as she sends Becky face first into the mat. Some elbows to the head set up a chinlock before Brie fires off kicks in the corner. Becky ducks a big one though and runs Brie over before throwing her down with a t-bone suplex. The Bella Buster is countered and the Disarm-Her puts Brie away at 2:33.

Sheamus/Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose/Neville

Here’s the final part of the triple main event, meaning over half of the matches on this show were main events. Sheamus and Neville get things going with the big man being taken down off a hurricanrana. Dean comes in for an Arn Anderson eye rake across the top rope and a clothesline to put Sheamus on the floor. A plancha takes out Owens but Sheamus clotheslines Dean as we take a break.

Back with Ambrose getting choked on the ropes before Sheamus drops a knee for two. Dean finally dives over for a tag off to Neville and things speed up. Unfortunately the crowd doesn’t really pick up as Neville can’t German suplex Owens. It’s back to Sheamus who charges into a superkick, only to have Owens break up a shooting star. Owens: “I won’t do it again ref!” Kevin starts yelling at Ranallo (initiation I guess) as Lawler keeps heeling it up with jokes about Neville’s ears.

Sheamus grabs a chinlock because we’re at the point in a WWE tag match where a heel puts on a chinlock. Owens comes in for a chinlock of his own, though at least his has some more pizazz. A suplex sends Neville flying into the corner but he snaps off the German to avoid the Cannonball. Ambrose comes in for his usual, including the tornado DDT on Sheamus.

The top rope standing elbow gets two and everything breaks down. Owens kicks Dean to break up the rebound lariat, setting up White Noise for two more. The Pop Up Powerbomb doesn’t work so Dean suicide dives Owens. Sheamus is back up though, allowing Owens to take the cover off the announcers’ table and blast Dean with it for the DQ at 13:30.

Rating: C. Well that happened. This was every average Smackdown main event that you’ve seen in recent months and that’s not a good thing. It wasn’t bad but it’s just another match that doesn’t mean anything, doesn’t change anything, and just makes me wish that it was time for the Rumble already when a match might be important.

Neville breaks up a powerbomb through the table and Dirty Deeds plants Owens back inside. Owens takes a Red Arrow to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It says a lot when a show with a title change can feel this insignificant. I know last week’s show was a big deal but this was right back where we were before Smackdown changed networks, which means Thursdays are going to feel very long all over again. Kalisto losing was deflating and I’m having issues buying him as a threat to get the title back. This wasn’t a bad show but it was mostly uninteresting or unimportant, which is all Smackdown seems to be 90% of the time.

Results

Dudley Boyz b. Luke Harper/Erick Rowan – Harper was knocked through a table

Social Outcasts b. Goldust/Jack Swagger/Adam Rose/Zack Ryder – Bodog to Ryder

Alberto Del Rio b. Kalisto – Cross armbreaker

Becky Lynch b. Brie Bella – Disarm-Her

Neville/Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus/Kevin Owens went to a double countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 12, 1994
Location: Liberty High School, Liberty, New York
Attendance: 1,400
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Shawn Michaels

So I just knocked out the show from the previous week and it occurs to me that I could actually get a lot of these done in a hurry. At this point I’ve done just under half of the episode of Monday Night Raw and I really could add to that with a lot of the earlier years. Therefore, I might as well take care of some of them as I could do a month’s worth of shows in the time it takes me to do a single pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Bob Backlund rants about Doink besmirching the WWF and leading it into hypocrisy.

Doink is ready to show off his amateur background. What a bizarre main event choice.

Opening sequence.

Bob Backlund vs. Doink the Clown

I’d like to remind you that Backlund was WWF World Champion about two and a half weeks ago. I can’t get over the fact that they’re actually in a high school gym. It’s something you would expect to make a TNA joke over but here it is on Raw. Dink comes out for a distraction so Doink can jump Backlund from behind. Maybe Backlund is right about Doink being evil.

Back up and they stare at each other for a bit as the fans are entirely behind Doink. Backlund takes him down and rides him a bit until Doink grabs the ropes for the save. So we’ve got a crazy man and a clown having an amateur wrestling match. I guess Vince was right with his “anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation” line. A nice amateur trip sets up a rollup for two on Bob, who has a bunch of Doink’s makeup on his back.

Backlund has to flip out of a headscissors before walking into a hiptoss for two. They get up again and Bob nails him with a hard forearm to the face before starting in on the arm. We take a break and come back with Bob holding a Fujiwara armbar. That’s too interesting so it’s off to a regular wristlock as Shawn keeps talking about managing Backlund. How bored were they to come up with this kind of stuff?

Somehow we’re about ten minutes into this match (not counting the commercial) as Backlund works on a hammerlock. Doink FINALLY comes back with a middle rope cross body and a small package for two, only to miss an elbow drop. That means the chickenwing to make Doink tap.

Rating: F. There was a match back in 2001 with Steve Austin vs. Chris Benoit where Austin started doing a bunch of amateur stuff to shock Benoit. The thing is, that match worked because Austin knew how to play to a crowd and make the match fun. Other than an interesting idea here, this was one of the least interesting things I’ve seen in a long time as Doink could have been anyone and had the same match. That’s never a good thing and made for a waste of the one good idea they had here.

We look at the brackets for the Tag Team Title tournament.

Tatanka/Bam Bam Bigelow

Men on a Mission

Headshrinkers

Jim Neidhart/Owen Hart

Heavenly Bodies

Bushwhackers

Smoking Gunns

Well Dunn

Shawn has no thoughts on the tournament because he isn’t involved. Instead, he shows us some Raw on SNES. There’s even a VHS with tips and strategies. Allow me to simplify things: punch and kick a lot then pin the other guy.

Jeff Jarrett is moving to Las Vegas and is going to have a sweepstakes. Uh…yeah.

Razor Ramon vs. Mark Starr

Non-title of course. Razor starts with the driving shoulders as Shawn makes fun of Barbara Walters. Some very loud chops have Starr reeling but he gets in a cross body. Razor actually botches the catch into the fall away slam but is smart enough to turn it into a knee injury to protect himself. That kind of on the fly thinking is never seen these days and it’s sad. Razor just blasts him with a forearm though and it’s the belly to back superplex and Razor’s Edge for the easy pin.

Rating: D. That knee injury thing was such a breath of air. I mean, the match was still a squash but it was so nice to see them not just waste time and make the match look fake. Nothing else to see here, though Starr would actually be put in a low level tag team in WCW in a few years.

Make-A-Wish ad.

It’s time for another King’s Court which really is the best way to showcase Lawler at this point. In this case, he tells the kids to close their eyes and imagine what they’ll get for Christmas. “Now what do you see? Nothing! Exactly what you’ll get!” The guest tonight is IRS, who has Undertaker’s druids with him as part of one of the lamest feuds in company history.

Lawler wants to talk about athletes making a fortune and then charging for autographs. On top of that (which is really pitiful in the first place), they’re not even paying taxes. The biggest tax cheat of them all though is the Undertaker, who claims to have the power of the urn. IRS however has the power of the Million Dollar Man’s money, which is more than enough to make Undertaker pay. Also, IRS is going to make Lex Luger pay next week and promises to have friends behind him.

Hakushi is still coming.

Aldo Montoya vs. Nick Barberri

Montoya recently turned down a spot on Ted DiBiase’s Million Dollar Team and Shawn just rips him apart for his decision. Nick tries to get Montoya in an early wheelbarrow slam only to be sent throat first into the middle rope. Harvey Wippleman comes out to watch as Aldo cranks on an armbar. Barberri sends him into the buckle as we’re promised Well Dunn vs. the Bushwhackers AGAIN next week. Egads what is wrong with this company? Aldo makes his comeback as Shawn points out that Montoya’s mask is a jockstrap. Montoya finishes with a quick middle rope bulldog.

Wippleman yells at the Fink, who will be in the Bushwhackers’ corner next week.

Clips from the 100^th episode of WWF Mania.

King Kong Bundy vs. Bobby Knight

Knight (dang I wish it was the famous one) bounces off Bundy to start and is sent hard into the post for his efforts. Back in and Bundy yells a lot before actually going to the middle rope, only to have Knight bail to the floor out of self preservation. Bundy slowly pounds him down and finishes with the Avalanche (big splash) for a five count.

Rating: D. Yeah what do you want from me here? This was longer than it needed to be and there’s only so much you can get out of King Kong Bundy in 1994. Nothing to see here, as is so often the case with most of the shows from this era. Bundy was actually a decent choice for a monster with no upside, which is what he needed to be for the most part.

Santa Claus comes out and gives Shawn a toy Ladies Title to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Oh yeah this was bad. That Santa bit at the end was the best thing of the night and it was all of a minute long. It’s bad enough that it’s this year and now I have to sit through the Christmas season as well, meaning everyone isn’t interested in trying? Horrible show here and one of the weakest I’ve ever seen. At least it was short though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 5, 1994
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Shawn Michaels

This was on a list of requested shows so I might as well knock some of them out. That and I’ve never actually done an episode from 1994 and if I’m going to (eventually) do all of the episodes in history, I need to start somewhere. I have no idea why this was requested as it’s a pretty dead time in the promotion’s history. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence. I miss that old song, though Vince has to talk over it with an advertisement.

Shawn Michaels is brought out for commentary.

Jeff Jarrett vs. British Bulldog

Of note here: a cable puller “screws up”, giving us the debut of the Roadie, later to be known as Road Dogg. An early armdrag takes Bulldog down and it’s already time for some strutting. Jarrett takes him down again and walks over Bulldog’s back (Vince: “Shades of Shawn Michaels!”) for some more posing. A hiptoss doesn’t work as well though as Bulldog sends Jeff out to the floor before doing Jeff’s strut in a funny bit.

Back in and Jeff, with tinsel between his legs, gets run over again because he’s not bright enough to realize that the power isn’t working. Smith keeps countering a headscissors but the cable puller claps Jeff back to his feet. There’s the delayed vertical (with Jeff doing a great terrified face) but Bulldog gets crotched on top for a superplex. We’re off to a weak chinlock for a good bit before going to a break.

Back with Jeff missing a middle rope fist drop, followed by a double clothesline to put both guys down. Shawn again points out the tinsel on Jarrett’s tights, likely because it’s rather shiny and Shawn is easily distracted. Somehow this makes Vince refer to Jeff as the Tim Allen of the WWF.

Jeff grabs a sleeper for a long time before a bulldog to the Bulldog (you know these announcers are going to crack jokes about that one) gets two. Back to the chinlock as this is going way too long. Bulldog fights up with an atomic drop and a series of clotheslines to send Jarrett outside. Jeff staggers up the aisle but is quickly caught, only to have the cable puller grab Bulldog’s leg, allowing Jeff to beat the count back in.

Rating: D+. This was your usual one long match on Raw back in the day, but that doesn’t mean it’s good. There was too much chinlockery going on here and they easily could have cut out about three or four minutes. The result was the right choice though as they might have finally found a way to get people to care about Jeff Jarrett. I mean, I wouldn’t bet on it but it’s always possible.

House show ads. Now there’s something you don’t see that often anymore.

Some WWF wrestlers were at a dinner for American sportcasters with keynote speaker….Gerald Ford?

1-2-3 Kid vs. Barry Horowitz

Kid starts fast with a dropkick and the rapid fire kicks in the corner. Barry comes back with a quick butterfly suplex as Vince plugs Diesel being in the King’s Court tonight, only to get on Shawn’s nerves. There’s a Hennig necksnap for no cover as Vince begs people to come to the house shows. Not that it matters as the Kid comes back with two spinwheel kicks and an Oklahoma Roll for the pin.

Preview of next week’s show with crazy Bob Backlund vs. Doink the Clown. I actually kind of want to see that mess.

Ad for the new WWF Raw game for SNES. That game wasn’t bad actually.

Kwang vs. Scott Taylor

Better known as Savio Vega in a mask vs. Scotty 2 Hotty. Kwang drops Taylor with a shot to the face before dropping him with a faceplant. Shawn brags about his contract being better than Michael Jordan’s baseball deal and we hit the nerve hold. Harvey Wippleman yells at Howard Finkel to continue their horrible feud that actually existed for reasons I’ll never understand. Kwang’s running spinwheel kick crushes Taylor in the corner and it’s back to the nerve hold. Another spinwheel kick puts Taylor away, thank goodness. Kwang was such a weak character and it’s no shock that he didn’t last.

Ad for Lex Luger vs. Owen Hart on Action Zone.

It’s time for the King’s Court (Lawler’s interview segment). After some good old audience insulting, here’s the surprise guest: Shawn Michaels! So Vince was wrong about Diesel? Lawler calls Diesel stupid for doing things like buying a zebra and calling it Spot. Shawn claims to have plucked Diesel from obscurity (well yeah Vinnie Vegas was pretty obscure) and no one puts him down, including some 7’0 goon. Everything Diesel has ever earned was because of Shawn and he made Diesel on his own. However, Shawn can also disassemble him just as fast. If Diesel wants to find him, just come to the Heartbreak Hotel.

Bob Holly crashed in his latest race. This is making me long for the “This Week in WCW Motorsports” segments.

There will be a special 100^th episode celebration of WWF Mania. I remember liking that show.

Hakushi is coming.

Well Dunn vs. Bushwhackers

See, one is named Well and the other is named Dunn. They’re managed by Wippleman in case you were still confused about how much potential they had. The Bushwhackers drop both guys with a double clothesline to start but Well drops Luke with an ax handle from the apron. We get some breaking news: there will be a tournament for the vacant Tag Team Titles. So I guess this is like a boring preview? Not that we’ll see any of it because the whole thing is taking place on Superstars.

Well dives onto Luke’s back as this is actually less interesting than I was expecting. Some rapid fire legdrops keep Luke in trouble and Shawn plugs a movie airing on USA. Even more legdrops don’t actually make the match any better so Luke clotheslines him down for a breather. The hot tag brings in Butch o clean maybe a room or two until Harvey trips him up, allowing Dunn to get in a knee to the back for the pin.

Rating: D-. Again, one was named Well and the other was named Dunn. Is there any real surprise that WCW was able to take over so easily? The only interesting part here was hearing Shawn cracking jokes for five minutes as he knew this was a disaster. Nothing to see here and I continue to be amazed that the Bushwhackers still had jobs at this point.

Fink tells the referee what happened but nothing changes.

Bob Backlund wants to exterminate Doink next week on his path to being WWF Champion again.

Overall Rating: D. Well that was bad. They were certainly in the Saturday Night’s Main Event format at this point with the one big match going on first and then hoping people fell asleep and couldn’t change the channel for the rest of the horrible show. It’s no surprise that this era has basically been erased from history after this mess. For some reason though, I’m sure it’s only going to get worse.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

This is always an interesting one.

We’ll go chronologically with the nominees here and start with the Royal Rumble. I actually didn’t mind this show at first but the more I think about it the worse it seems. The problem here is very simple: the Rumble itself sucked. I mean it totally sucked. It’s not so much that it’s bad but it was just so freaking boring. There was no secret about the fact that Reigns was winning and then they go out of their way to give him Big Show and Kane at the end (plus the real finish with Rusev). The triple threat was amazing but other than that there’s just nothing on here. When a third of the show bombs, there’s little saving it.

Continuing with the Reigns run, we have Fastlane. The thing is, I really kind of liked this show. The key to remember is that Fastlane was a two match show and both of those matches more than delivered. You couple that with a good Tag Team Title match and a nice six man opener and the show really wasn’t that bad. Completely unnecessary yes, but far from bad.

Now we get to something that really deserves a mention with Slammiversary. Much like Fastlane it really didn’t need to exist, but in this case the show was nothing. The big draw was Jeff Jarrett returning to win the old TV Title to help set up that stupid GFW invasion which didn’t go anywhere because it was a lame idea. The rest of the show was nothing interesting either because TNA was worried about spoiling their precious TV show. Instead, screw the fans that are willing to pay for your big show because that’s going to keep money rolling in. Typical TNA though, which is what makes it even worse.

Next up we’ll go to another country for AAA TripleMania XXIII. This is another tricky one as the action itself is overshadowed by the horrible production and technical issues. There’s no way around this as you could barely hear the show half the time due to the persistent buzzing, as well as the ending of the show being cut off. It didn’t help that Matt Striker was on commentary because he’s on EVERY PAY PER VIEW EVER anymore. These things were such major problems and it’s really hard to overlook them.

The other thing though is the show really wasn’t very good. There are definitely worse shows and the double main event was solid enough to keep it from being a runaway disaster but the rest of the show just bombed. It felt like a tribute to wrestlers and feuds from twenty years ago and that doesn’t make for an entertaining three hours, at least not for outside fans. When you have bad technical issues and bad wrestling, it’s really hard to defend a show.

Then there’s TNA’s other pay per view: Bound For Glory. Just like last year’s FAR worse show from Japan, this show had almost no time to set anything up because of the screwy taping schedule and that still stupid GFW invasion. Other than that though, the former Brodus Clay won one of the worst matches in years in a 25 minute gauntlet match, Kurt Angle got another big win because he needs it so badly and then Matt Hardy won the World Title. Why? BECAUSE HE’S MATT FREAKING HARDY AND A LEGEND THAT YOU ALL CARE ABOUT!

Bound For Glory didn’t need to exist, was thrown together, and then wound up meaning nothing because the World Title was vacated less than two days later for the sake of setting up the World Title Series. How annoyed do you think the fans who actually paid for this show were when they found out that none of this actually mattered? TNA isn’t in a place to cater to its live audience this much but they do it time after time no matter what.

Finally we have Survivor Series, where WWE also had the chance to reshape things with a tournament. This went well enough with two watchable matches and then a bad main event. Sheamus cashing in Money in the Bank made things even worse because, just like the Bound For Glory main event, whatever you saw on the show wound up meaning nothing. At least WWE didn’t really hide the fact that the cash-in was coming, though it didn’t make it much better.

The show had another big draw though in the Undertaker/Kane vs. the Wyatt Family. This was also everything the fans were expecting: a dull match, a predictable ending, and another big waste of time that could have led somewhere but wound up being another way to praise some older guys who are only so interesting in the first place. After that all you had was a pretty boring midcard and that made for a horrible show.

Overall…..I think I’ll take Survivor Series over TripleMania here. Survivor Series at least had the potential to be something while the AAA show really felt like it was just there and if it happened to be good then so be it. One of the major WWE shows should be worth watching though and when you take away any of the impact, some good to pretty good wrestling just isn’t worth it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Middle Kingdom Wrestling Episode 5
Date: December 13, 2015
Location: CWE Gym, Dongguan, China
Commentators: Eddie Strong, Cam Ferguson

This is the first season finale, meaning the finals of the MKW Championship tournament. The show started really slowly but it’s picked up a bit in the last few shows. I still wouldn’t really call it good but given how different this is, you can only ask so much. It’s going to help to get to some different stories aside from the tournament, which is the case in any wrestling company. Let’s get to it.

We open with a much needed recap of the tournament as it’s been about two months since the last episode went up.

CWE Title: The Slam vs. Black Mamba

Slam is defending and is a much bigger deal than most of the people in the tournament, though I’m still not sure what the CWE is. Mamba jumps Slam from behind to start and gets two off a quick clothesline. Something like an AA into an armbar puts Mamba down as Slam continues to be one of the most polished guys in the promotion.

A quick consultation with bodyguard Da Li Sam doesn’t really work as Mamba walks into a Side Effect for two with Sam breaking up the count. For some reason that’s not a DQ and neither is Sam CHOKING THE REFEREE. Dude even ECW would have thrown this out already. Mamba sprays something in Slam’s eyes to take over before grabbing a DDT for two. Slam pops back up (without selling the eyes) and grabs another AA for two more.

The announcers debate whether a knee drop is legal or not (huh?) as Mamba heads outside again. This time it’s the much bigger Sam getting in, which could be a bit more interesting. Slam beats up Sam and suddenly I feel like I’m in a Dr. Seuss book. Mama comes back in and rakes the eyes (this referee is worthless) to set up a Scorpion Death Drop for two. That’s about it though as Slam pops up (again) and grabs a suplex into a cutter (kind of like a TKO) to retain.

Rating: D. This didn’t do it for me. The idea of Mamba having to cheat to stand a chance against Slam was fine but they probably should have just done Slam vs. Sam (egads with the rhyming) here. Mamba really doesn’t have a character other than he’s a guy with a bodyguard and that’s not really enough to get me into a big showdown.

Also Slam not selling ANYTHING got old in a hurry. I get that he’s a Goldberg style character, but even Goldberg would go down if someone blinded him. This had the structure of something good but needed a lot more thought and a better heel. Oh and the referee sucked. Like really sucked. At least have him get distracted or bumped or something.

Da Li Sam introduces the replacement opponent for Dalton Bragg in the tournament final: Voodoo, a guy in a red mask. Well that’s rather simple.

MKW Title: Dalton Bragg vs. Voodoo

The title is vacant coming in and Bragg is pretty easily the crowd favorite. Voodoo keeps saying he’s got this. We hit the stall button and as usual, Bragg comes off as the most experienced guy in the company as he tries to get the crowd to boo the cowardly heel. We get the opening bell and Voodoo wants to shake Bragg’s injured left arm (Which sends us into a flashback of Len Bai injuring Bragg’s arm earlier in the tournament. You don’t often see flashbacks on wrestling shows so points for something new, though shouldn’t commentary be pointing that out?).

As expected, Voodoo cranks on the arm as commentary finally kicks back in, ranting about how Voodoo has been thrown out of every Chinese promotion. You would think that could have been set up before the match. Now they start talking about various things Voodoo pulled in other promotions. Naturally they don’t go into specifics because I highly doubt these things ever happened and that’s the best sign I’ve seen yet from these guys. Wrestling promotions don’t seem to get that THEY CAN MAKE STUFF UP. Do that more often.

Bragg comes back with some cross bodies for two before crotching Voodoo on top. Everyone heads to the floor and Bragg gets caught by Sam, allowing Voodoo to get in a kick to the arm. Voodoo stays on the arm and tries to get the fans to cry. Nice touch. Back in and we hit the armbar, followed by some good old fashioned cheating from Sam.

Bragg gets his boots up in the corner but runs into a DDT on the arm to keep Voodoo in control. There’s a hammerlock slam to stay on the arm, only to have Bragg nip up and catch Voodoo with an enziguri on top. The high spot of the match is a superplex to put both guys down again. They trade kicks to the arm with neither guy getting the advantage in another sequence that doesn’t make a ton of sense.

Commentary is gone for some reason as Bragg nails a spin kick to the head for two but Sam offers more distraction, allowing Voodoo to get in a good looking wheelbarrow faceplant for two of his own. Since he doesn’t seem to have a finisher, Voodoo loads up a chain but hits Sam by mistake, allowing Bragg to come back with a springboard Codebreaker for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Definitely a better match with the arm work, though it kind of disappeared halfway through. Voodoo was much better than Mamba as he actually did something, though again you can see that Bragg is the most experienced guy around here. This probably needed to be two minutes shorter and Voodoo needs a finisher, but the groundwork was much stronger here and it made for a better match. It’s also rather surprising that they went with an American champion and actually pushed him as a face, but I’d rather do that than go with an inaugural heel champion.

Bragg gets the title and the credits roll.

Wait we’re not done as we get a teaser for season two. The Slam comes out for a staredown with Bragg, presumably making him the first challenger. That’s the smartest thing they could do right now.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was watchable but it’s still needing a lot of work. Focusing on Bragg and the Slam is the best thing they could do, but at the same time the rest of their roster really needs the most help. The good thing here though is they have a champion and now they can move on to some other stuff which could do wonders (well ok maybe just some good) for the promotion as a whole. It’s a nice effort but the glaring holes are still around.

That’s it for season one and I’m really not sure what to think so far. Above all else, it’s clear that there isn’t a lot of experience on the roster. If there’s one thing this company needs more than anything, it’s coaching. It really feels like these guys have been given very little direction aside from the bare bones of “you’re good, you’re bad and you win.” Off the top of my head, aside from Selfie King, I can’t think of anyone on the roster who has a gimmick. You don’t need anything mind blowing, but there’s really nothing separating most of the characters.

This is where promos could help, even if they’re translated to English. Just tell us something about each person and give me a reason (as moderate as it might be) to be interested in them. On the fourth episode, Ash had a promo about how he was mad about being cheated out of the tournament and wanted a match for revenge. That told me everything I needed to know about the next match and gave me a reason to care about the story. Do more of that and explain who these people are a little more (commentary can do a lot of the heavy lifting there) and things will get a lot better in a hurry.

Also, get these guys on some weights. Save for Sam, everyone looks like they weigh about 150lbs. I know there’s a limited talent pool to pick from, but there almost has to be some people with better physiques to pick from. It gets distracting at times as it feels like I could take some of these guys out.

Overall though, this really does feel like the bare bones of a promotion. Now that being said, there was a story being told and I could pick up on it more often than not which is the most important thing a wrestling promotion can do. There’s A LOT of stuff that needs to be improved on but this could have been a disaster and wound up being watchable most of the time. Keep the shows short and give us some more stories/characters and things will get better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Looking at Daniel Bryan, because what else do you talk about when you’re in that awkward period leading up to the Rumble?

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-yes-no-maybe/47938/

Royal Rumble 2005
Date: January 30, 2005
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz

It’s time for a new set of guys to take their place on top of the company and what better time to do that than at the Rumble? Other than the Rumble, we’ve got the final blowoff of Orton vs. HHH in a feud that still makes me shake my head to this day. Also it’s Big Show vs. JBL vs. Angle for the Smackdown Title in a match that sounds so uninteresting I’d rather watch last year’s show all over again. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is designed like a clock counting down in the Rumble. Cool idea there.

I almost forgot: this is the West Side Rumble, which is actually designed on a theme of West Side Story, as in gangs of Raw and Smackdown guys snapping their fingers and singing. Remember that THIS was considered the best idea and that someone received a paycheck for doing this. Let that sink in when you’re unemployed next time.

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Edge is mad that he didn’t get the title shot at Taboo Tuesday and is finally turning heel, which he would be for years to come. Edge jumps Shawn before Shawn can take off his vest, only to get sent back to the floor by Shawn. Back in and Shawn chops away in the corner but Edge comes back with a swinging neckbreaker to take over. Edge is embracing the evil here and pokes Shawn in the eye but it only ticks Shawn off, resulting in a Thesz Press by Shawn.

The Canadian is sent back to the floor but he catches Shawn in an Edge-O-Matic to take over again. A baseball slide keeps Shawn down and we head back inside. The fans are firmly behind Shawn here, which means the heel turn is working for Edge. Shawn tries a standing rana but gets caught in a powerbomb for two instead. Off to a rear naked choke from Edge which stays on for a good while.

As Shawn fights up, Edge slams him right back down to stop the comeback before doing Shawn’s pose. Shawn gets guillotined on the top but Edge jumps into a punch to the ribs for two. Shawn counters a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two but Edge clotheslines him right back down. We hit the chinlock again although for far less time here. Michaels comes back with an atomic drop and they mistime something pretty badly with Shawn waiting on one side of the ring while Edge stumbles around on the other side.

Anyway Shawn pounds away in the corner and grabs a rollup for two, prompting Edge to try to walk out. The imbecile of a referee holds Shawn back, allowing Edge to sneak up from behind and spear Shawn to the floor. Shawn finally crawls back in and Edge dances a bit. Edge tunes up the band and spears Shawn down for two more, sending Edge into a fit. He pulls his own hair out and does those awesome facials that only Edge can do.

With nothing else to try, Edge puts Shawn on top for a superplex, only to get knocked down for the flying elbow from Shawn. Sweet Chin Music is countered into an electric chair drop for two more and Edge is very frustrated. Edge rolls through a sunset flip into the Edgeucator (imagine a Sharpshooter but with Edge behind Shawn like an ankle lock) but Shawn makes the rope. After a small package gets two for Shawn, Edge reverses a rollup into one of his own and grabs the ropes for the cheap pin.

Rating: B-. Decent match here but at nearly 20 minutes it’s too long. I’m not sure if I like the ending or not either, as Edge cheating shows that he’s embracing the heel turn, but I don’t think cheating and then hitting a move like another spear would have been a bad choice either. Still though, solid way to further Edge’s turn and a very long opener, which isn’t a terrible idea.

Teddy and Eric banter about who is going to win. Apparently we’re doing the old school tumbler thing to draw numbers with. Flair and Eddie come in (Flair hits on Torrie of course) to draw and Flair is very happy with his number. Eddie is disappointed, so he picks Flair’s pocket and steals his number. See, THIS is the kind of stuff we need more of. It enforces Eddie’s character and is funny at the same time, unlike the stupid stuff we get today that doesn’t help anyone.

Heidenreich is panicking about caskets when Snitsky comes up. Heavy breathing ensues and Snitsky says he has an idea.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. Basically Heidenreich wants to replace Undertaker is his chance in a casket match. Most people didn’t think much of Heidenreich and they would wind up being proven correct. He would be followed by Great Khali in the long line of strange guys to face Undertaker.

The casket is brought out.

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Taker grabs a headlock to start and pulls Heidenreich towards the casket but (Jon) Heidenreich runs away. That works so well that we do it again and Jon is terrified. Since that didn’t quite work, Taker hooks the leg with a half crab, causing Heidenreich to crawl towards the ropes in front of the casket. As we ignore the problem of crawling to the ropes, Jon bails to the floor to take the fight out there.

Heidenreich sends Taker into the casket and pounds his head into it, which apparently isn’t a problem for him. Back in and Heidenreich pounds away in the corner, only to get caught in a modified triangle choke. Taker pulls the hold down to the mat and Heidenreich is almost out, so here’s Snitsky to break up the hold. After a double suplex to Taker, the monsters start pulling him to the casket…..which has Kane inside.

Kane, who was feuding with Snitsky over Snitsky punting a plastic version of the baby that Kane’s wife Lita (just go with it) lost, destroys both guys and takes Snitsky into the crowd. Heidenreich starts shoving the casket away very slowly before slamming Taker into the steps. Heidenreich slides the casket into Taker, which looks rather stupid as Taker had nothing behind him to be crushed against but whatever.

Back in and Jon puts on a cobra clutch which chokes Taker out enough to get him into the casket. Well mostly in at least as Taker sticks an arm out and chokes away. With Heidenreich’s torso in the casket, Taker drops the apron legdrop in the spot of the match. Back in and Heidenreich is suddenly fine, pounding away on the Dead Man and hitting a Boss Man Slam for a cover. Taker chokes his way out of the casket and wins a slugout, followed by a bad running DDT. Chokeslam and tombstone hit and we’re done.

Rating: D. This just didn’t work. At the end of the day, Heidenreich just didn’t work at all and he never came close to it. This was supposed to be a preview of Snitsky/Heidenreich vs. Kane/Taker at Mania, but thankfully they went with Kane in MITB and Taker vs. Orton in a great match, whereas Snitsky and Heidenreich didn’t even make it onto the show.

Teddy yells at Eddie to get Flair’s number back. Evolution comes in and a beatdown nearly ensues. Eddie has to give the number back, and he throws in Flair’s wallet too. Batista is going to go draw for the Rumble but HHH wants to talk about the match with Orton. Tensions flare but Flair calms things down. I think I smell a showdown.

Christian is here to draw his number and he’s well pleased. Cena shows up and hits on Christy but Christian isn’t pleased. He says rapping isn’t hard and challenges Cena to a battle rap. Tomko won’t give Christian a beat so he has to go it alone. Christian actually rhymes a bit but can’t rhyme charisma. Cena makes gay jokes and isn’t nearly as funny as Christian.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This match has a backstory that isn’t important enough to explain to us. Apparently Angle had a last man standing match with JBL but the winner is even less important than the backstory. JBL is defending. Angle bails to the floor to start so Show runs over JBL a few times. There’s the loud chop in the corner followed by a legdrop which finally draws Angle into the ring for a save.

Now it’s Kurt getting a big chop in the corner. Cole says that’s like getting hit in the chest with a skillet. My question continues to be: how does anyone know what that feels like? Is that what goes on at WWE headquarters when there aren’t any shows on? Show clotheslines both guys to the floor to a surprisingly big reaction. Angle tries a German on the floor which fails completely, so Show picks up the steps.

Show loads up the announce table and climbs the steps to chokeslam JBL through said table. Before he can though, Angle hits Show low and blasts him with a monitor, knocking Show through the table. Back inside and Angle puts JBL in an armbar followed by a keylock. Kurt rolls the Germans but walks into a big boot for two. Big Show gets back in and there’s a double clothesline and headbutts all around. He slams Angle onto JBL to a big reaction. When did Big Show get this popular? Both guys get crushed in the corner and another double clothesline puts both guys down.

Show loads up a double chokeslam but the other guys go High/Low to take Show down. Angle Germans JBL down and hits a bad Angle Slam which gives JBL two. There’s a chokeslam to JBL but he gets a foot on the rope. Out to the floor and Show spears JBL through the barricade in his signature spot, putting all three guys down.

Back in and Angle goes after Show with a chair but gets flapjacked face first onto the steel. Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns, Angle’s lackeys, come out for the save as JBL’s Cabinet try to wake up the champion. Show beats up Jindrak and Reigns as Orlando Jordan puts JBL in the ring for the Clothesline to pin Angle to retain.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches I was expecting to suck but it wound up being pretty solid. Angle is going to be good no matter what he does and Show had some solid motivation out there for a change. JBL escaping with the title was a recurring theme for nearly a year until he ran into a buzzsaw called John Cena in a few months. Shockingly good match here.

Batista won’t sign Carlito’s petition to get rid of Teddy Long. Carlito loads up the apple, looks at Batista, and swallows. Funny bit.

Batista goes to draw his number and hears Bischoff bar Evolution from ringside for the next match. Big Dave seems very happy to tell HHH.

Long video recapping HHH vs. Orton. They hate each other, Orton was never supposed to get another shot, so tonight he gets another shot.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is defending. This is when Orton was still young and a not quite plucky face. He punches Orton to the floor and gets two off a dropkick back inside. HHH pounds away in the corner but gets caught in Snake Eyes to stop him cold again. Orton tries the RKO again but gets dumped to the floor, which thankfully doesn’t break his shoulder again. HHH sends him into the steps and heads back in for some knees to Orton’s back.

The Game goes after the taped up knee and wraps it around the post because he can. HHH modifies the cannonball down onto the leg by dropping an elbow instead of sitting on it. After a quick attempt at a small package by Orton, HHH puts on a LONG Figure Four, lasting way longer than almost any other I can remember. Orton finally turns it over, sending HHH retreating to the floor.

Orton sends him over the announce table and pounds away before heading back in for his backbreaker. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Orton as does a regular one. The powerslam by Orton gets two as he doesn’t seem interested in selling the knee at all. HHH counters punching in the corner into an atomic drop to slow things down again. HHH goes up top for no apparent reason and gets armdragged down, allowing Orton to hit a top rope cross body (his old finisher) for two.

Orton counters a Pedigree attempt into a catapult but HHH counters the RKO for at least the third time before hitting the high knee for two. Randy is bleeding from the lip. The Pedigree is escaped again and Orton gets two off a clothesline. The champ rolls to the floor again and gets sent into the steps for trying to hide. Back in and Orton pounds away in the corner, only to miss a DDT attempt and possibly give himself a concussion.

The referee looks at Orton to stall even more, as I think they’re going for some big emotional moment where Orton fights through adversity. HHH charges at Orton and knocks out the referee at the same time. It’s hammer time but HHH misses his charge and hits the post. Back inside and Orton gets the hammer, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline. HHH throws away the hammer and hits the Pedigree to retain.

Rating: D+. As usual, these two do not work well together at all. This was one of their worse matches too, as Orton never seemed to have HHH even remotely in danger at all. At the end, HHH had Orton dead to rites for a long time and won clean (he never used the hammer) with a Pedigree. Orton’s face push was killed dead here so he had to turn heel and feud with the Undertaker soon after this. Not a good match and kind of headscratching booking.

Angle literally steals Nunzio’s number and spot in the Rumble.

Teddy tells JBL and company that Jibbles has to defend the title against Big Show in a barbed wire steel cage match at No Way Out.

Royal Rumble

Eddie Guerrero is #1 and Benoit is #2. Dang Benoit is on a run of bad luck in these things. I think we’ve got 90 second intervals again here. Feeling out process to start and they get into a technical standoff of course. Eddie hooks one of the few chinlocks in Rumble history until Daniel Puder, the winner of Tough Enough 4 (beating Mike MIZanin in the finals) is #3. He gets on the mic and says that he’ll be the first Tough Enough Champion to win the Rumble, drawing “are you serious” glares from Benoit and Eddie.

Benoit and Eddie fire off chops in the corner followed by a double suplex because they can. Eddie hits Three Amigos and Hardcore Holly is #4. Holly asks if he can have some fun with Puder and rips some skin off with chops in the corner. Benoit and Eddie get in some chops of their own before Holly kicks Puder low, hits the Alabama Slam, and throws him out. Hurricane is #5 as Guerrero and Benoit dump Holly.

Hurricane gets double teamed but Eddie tries a double cross, only to get chopped for his efforts. Hurricane hits a Blockbuster on Eddie but Benoit chops him down and whips him into Eddie for the elimination. Kenzo Suzuki (one of the most forgettable footnotes in wrestling history) is #6. Just like everyone else, Benoit and Eddie pound on him in the corner with chops and suplexes, but Benoit turns on Eddie ala earlier but only throws him to the apron.

Edge is #7 to a BIG pop. He beats on everyone in sight but gets clotheslined down by Benoit. Rey Mysterio is #8 and my goodness does Suzuki look out of place in there. Thankfully Rey headscissors him out about twenty seconds after entering, getting us down to an AWESOME tag match if they ever got around to doing it. Edge goes after Guerrero and here’s Shelton Benjamin, the current IC Champion and on pure fire at this point, at #9.

There isn’t a bad combination in the ring at the moment. Benoit tries to dump Rey but Eddie tries to put both of them out. Shelton can’t eliminate Edge so he walks into a headscissors from Rey instead. Here’s Booker at #10 to keep the talent level high. Question for discussion: who is the worst worker in the ring at the moment? Here’s Eric Bischoff to cheer on the Raw guys as Benoit puts Eddie in a Boston Crab.

Jericho is #11 to a BIG pop. Teddy Long comes out to cheer as well as various people beat on each other. Luther Reigns is #12 to stop the hot streak dead. With four Raw guys (Benoit, Edge, Jericho and Benjamin) and four Smackdown guys (Booker, Luther, Mysterio and Guerrero), it’s time for a showdown ala the West Side Rumble that the show is based on. That’s a cool idea in theory, but what happened to the “every man for himself” concept?

Muhammad Hassan is #13 and the match stops cold. Everyone surrounds Hassan and the group beatdown is on. The fans REALLY dig this, which says a lot about Hassan’s potential. He was going to win the world title over Batista in Washington DC at Summerslam, but real life issues got in his way. Hassan is out in less than a minute and here’s Orlando Jordan at #14. Tazz says we can compare Jordan to Benjamin. Other than a good look, talent, charisma or fan interest, they are indeed neck and neck.

Scotty 2 Hotty is #15 but Hassan jumps him in the aisle, keeping him from ever getting into the ring. Taker beat him down in the aisle in 2002 also so it’s not the best even for Mr. Hotty. The ring is getting too full now but most of the guys are talented enough that I can live with it. Charlie Haas is #16 and Luther is put out by Booker, as is Jordan. That clears things out a bit. Booker stops for a Spinarooni and charges into a low bridge from Eddie to get rid of him.

Renee Dupree is #17, giving us Benoit, Guerrero, Edge, Mysterio, Haas, Jericho, Benjamin and Dupree. The World’s Greatest Tag Team hits their Shelton jumps over Charlie spot to Renee but Shelton misses a splash in the corner and gets dumped by Edge. Simon Dean is #18 but he stops to do exercises on the floor before getting in. JR goes off on him in a funny bit. Eddie stops to look at him and Edge dumps Guerrero as a result.

Shawn is #19 and superkicks Simon out, doing some Hindu Squats to celebrate. Edge tries to corner Mysterio in a corner. JR: “Makes a lot of sense.” Shawn backdrops Charlie out and Kurt Angle is #20. He hits Angle Slams on everything in sight but tries the ankle lock on Shawn. Michaels rolls through and superkicks Angle out after less than 40 seconds. Coach is #21 and you can hear JR groan. He gets in a single shot on Benoit and runs to hide.

Edge tries to put Mysterio out and here’s Jindrak at #22. Angle comes back in and dumps Michaels before blasting him with the steps and putting him in the ankle lock. I’m thinking we need a masterpiece at Wrestlemania to settle this. Viscera is #23 and he pounds on everyone in sight. Paul London is #24 and nearly slides out of the ring from sliding in so far. Dupree takes him down but stops to dance, allowing Jericho to dump him.

London gets sent to the apron but slides back in as Cena (BIG pop) is #25. He gets in a shot on everyone and backdrops Viscera out. Cena and Benoit slug it out as Snitsky is #26. He’s still kind of a threat at this point and runs over everyone in sight. Londdon gets knocked to the apron again and hit with a HUGE clothesline for an even bigger backflip off the apron to the floor. That made a lot of highlight reels.

Snitsky and Cena stare each other down and John takes a big boot. Kane is #27 complete with pyro. Tazz: “WHY DO I HAVE TO SIT OVER HERE??? THIS IS NUTS!!!” Chokeslams all around as London is taken out on a stretcher. Jindrak goes out thanks to Kane and Coach of all people tries to avenge him. Batista is #28 and the pop that Cena got looks like a whimper. Snitsky is gone immediately and it’s time for a showdown with Kane. The crowd is WAY into Batista as he powerbombs Kane.

There goes Jericho thanks to Big Dave but Edge hangs on. Christian is #29 and he goes right after Cena. Cena is all like BRING IT ON and stomps Christian down in the corner. Rey hits a 619 on Kane and Cena FU’s the monster out. Flair is #30, giving us a final group of Benoit, Edge, Mysterio, Coach, Cena, Batsita, Christian and Flair. Not bad at all with one exception. Evolution teams up for a spinebuster on Coach for the elimination before doing the same to Christian.

Benoit chops away at Flair but walks into a spinebuster and the elimination by Ric. Flair goes for a toss out of Batista but gets glared at in response. Edge and Mysterio dropkick Batista down and Edge dumps Flair, getting us down to Edge, Mysterio, Cena and Batista. Edge spears Cena and Batista down but Mysterio avoids the one coming at him. There’s a 619 to the Canadian but a springboard legdrop misses and Edge spears Rey out. Edge charges at Cena and we’re down to Cena vs. Batista.

The fans REALLY like this (and they’re in red(ish) and blue to match their brands) and the staredown is on. Cena slaps away (clearly open handed) and tries the FU over the top but Batista blocks it. Dave loads up the Bomb but Cena fights out of it and they head to the ropes where both fall out, seemingly at the same time. Seriously, it’s so close you can’t fairly say one of them went out first.

We have a split decision, so here’s Vince to charge out, slide into the ring….and destroy his knees and rip both of his quadriceps at the exact same time. While Vince sits on the mat (and hopefully doesn’t seeing Batista dying laughing), both guys throw each other out and Vince restarts the match. Why this means we don’t start with Benoit and Guerrero again isn’t explained but it’s spinebuster and elimination for Batista, sending Big Dave to the main event of Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. I don’t remember liking this as much the first time around but this was really good stuff. That segment in the first part with all the talent was reminiscent of the 1990 edition where there was a string of incredibly talented guys to start things off. Then things slowed down a bit, but once Cena hit the crowd, who was already red hot all night, got turned up to white levels and things went through the roof. Goofy ending (which wasn’t planned) aside, this was great stuff and a forgotten classic Rumble.

Overall Rating: B. This is a solid show overall with only the casket match being really bad. The Raw Title match isn’t terrible but it’s not worth watching either, especially with Orton’s lack of selling being horrible. Batista and Cena would of course go on to Wrestlemania to win both world titles and dominate the company for years to come, making this a truly game changing show. Good stuff here and certainly worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B

Redo: B-

The Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Original: D-

Redo: D

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B

Redo: C+

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: B-

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Like I said, I liked the Rumble a lot more this time around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/24/royal-rumble-count-up-2005-the-rise-of-the-new-generation/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

NXT
Date: January 13, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves

It’s the first regular show of the new year and we’re at the start of a new taping cycle. We’ve got a few months to go before we get to the next Takeover, assuming there isn’t another one before Wrestlemania weekend. In addition to that, we’re getting something like the NXT Slammy Awards tonight with the end of the year awards. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

The announcers welcome us to the show for a change.

Here’s General Manager William Regal to announce tonight’s main event: a battle royal for the #1 contendership to the Women’s Title. With that out of the way, Regal introduces someone who hasn’t been here in a long time: Sami Zayn.

Sami thinks the fans remember him but gets cut off by OLE and WELCOME BACK chants. In case you don’t know him, he’s the lead singer of a band and that OLE chant is their lead single. He’s also a man responsible for building NXT and making what it is today. They just sold out a UK tour but it’s nice to be back home at Full Sail University. Sami is back for a reason though, and that is to become the first ever two time NXT Champion.

This brings out Samoa Joe who doesn’t seem to think much of Sami’s plans. Joe doesn’t know why Sami thinks he deserves another shot because the last time he had a title shot, it was Joe who had to come out here and save him. Finn Balor barely survived against Joe in London so if Sami wants to keep his shoulder in one piece, he better walk away right now.

Now it’s Baron Corbin interrupting to say that he actually won at Takeover. While Sami was gone, he was surpassed by someone more durable so Sami needs to go to the back of the line. Joe brings up choking Corbin out and tells Sami to mind his place in his ring. The ring is Sami’s place but Corbin jumps him from behind, only to get kicked in the face and knocked to the floor. Joe backs off from Sami who is left standing alone.

Bayley says she survived against Nia Jax instead of actually winning. Tonight she’s looking forward to seeing who survives in the battle royal and she might even give the winner a hug. She actually does hug Rich Brennan.

It’s time for the End of the Year Award winners, announced in a video package. The trophies are golden ring bells.

Tag Team of the Year: Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady

Female Competitor of the Year: Bayley

Male Competitor of the Year: Finn Balor

NXT Takeover of the Year: Takeover: Brooklyn

Match of the Year: Bayley vs. Sasha Banks – Takeover: Brooklyn

Overall Competitor of the Year: Finn Balor

Tommaso Ciampa vs. Danny Burch

Ciampa takes him down by the arm to start but Burch gets up and scores with a middle rope dropkick to take over. That just ticks Ciampa off so he blasts Burch in the face with a forearm. Something like a hanging Downward Spiral off the top rope gets two for Ciampa but Burch pops him in the jaw for the same. They slug it out until Ciampa takes him down and grabs a flip over armbar (picture Becky Lynch’s Disarm-Her but with Ciampa laying over Burch’s back instead of sitting on the shoulder) for the tap out at 3:42.

Rating: C. This was a hard hitting brawl while it lasted but I’m not entirely sold on Ciampa. The armbar was a nice finisher but it seems like almost everyone is using a submission hold these days. As usual though, NXT does a great job of using jobbers to set up bigger stars, which is almost unheard of on the main roster for the last several years.

Enzo and Cass say they haven’t forgotten about Dash and Dawson taking them out. The champs hid behind a woman like chicken tenders and next time business will be finished.

Billie Kay, Deonna Purrazzo and Emma all say they’ll win the battle royal.

Two weeks from tonight, Sami Zayn vs. Samoa Joe vs. Baron Corbin for the #1 contendership.

Scott Dawson/Dash Wilder vs. Ascension

Non-title. Wilder gets in Viktor’s face to start but gets pounded into the corner for his efforts. Ascension is the clear crowd favorite here which is really strange to see. It’s off to Dawson, who has a bit more luck by taking Viktor to the mat for two. The champs beat Viktor down in the corner and we hit the chinlock for a bit. Viktor fights up and catches Dawson in an STO, allowing for the hot tag off to Konnor. The flapjack drops Wilder and everything breaks down, allowing a blind tag to set up the Shatter Machine on Konnor for the pin at 4:10.

Rating: C+. I liked this a bit better and it’s probably due to the false hope that Ascension might actually start being booked like a power team instead of the goofs they’ve been since their Raw debut. Or maybe it was the Shatter Machine which is a really awesome looking finisher for such a slow paced team.

Nia Jax isn’t medically cleared for the battle royal. Eva Marie says she has this.

Carmella, Peyton Royce and Alexa Bliss say they’ll win.

Elias Samson vs. Corey Hollis

Samson forearms him down to start and stomps away in the corner. A throw sends Hollis flying and Samson stop to laugh. Samson looks down at him before grabbing a hard swinging neckbreaker for the pin at 2:20.

Samson says what this place needs is what he is.

Finn Balor says the match against Samoa Joe was the most draining match of his career but he faces every challenger head to head. Now he’s just going to wait to find out his next opponent. Corbin thinks he’s the uncrowned champion, Sami is a friend and Joe is the one that will never go away.

Cameron, Aliyah, Asuka and Liv Morgan promise to win. Well Cameron promises to win the battle royal to become #1 contender to the Women’s battle royal but you get the idea.

Battle Royal

Carmella, Peyton Royce, Alexa Bliss, Aliyah, Cameron, Liv Morgan, Billie Kay, Deonna Purrazzo, Emma, Eva Marie, Asuka

Eva gets right in Asuka’s face to start and is quickly dropped with a shot to the face. The other nine all circle Asuka with Emma jumping her, starting everyone else into a brawl. Eva is out on the floor but not eliminated, likely to reduce her chances of severely injuring someone during the match.

We take an early break and come back with no eliminations but Cameron throws Aliyah out a few seconds later. Cameron gets rid of Purrazzo as well, followed by Morgan botching something that looked like a powerbomb. She tries it again but Bliss comes up from behind and tosses Morgan and Cameron at the same time. Emma gets Carmella in the Dilemma to send her underneath the ropes and out to the floor, meaning no elimination. Bliss chokes Emma, only to be put on the apron and punched off for an elimination.

We’re down to Emma, Royce, Kay, Asuka, Eva and Carmella, with the final two on the floor. Emma has to kick away the other two Australians, only to have Asuka kick her out of the corner for an elimination. Billie and Peyton put Asuka on the apron but of course start fighting over who gets to eliminate her. Asuka puts them both on the apron and hip attacks both of them to the floor to get us down to three. Eva sneaks in and eliminates Asuka, freaking out the crowd until Carmella throws Eva out for the win at 10:45.

Rating: C-. These things are always hard to rate but the false finish was a nice way to tease the crowd. It says a lot that they had to have two people on the floor until the end for the double false finish. The other good thing here though is they kept Asuka safe, likely for a big showdown in Texas against Bayley.

Carmella celebrates until Bayley comes out for a hug. Asuka gives them an evil smile to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show was much more about setting stuff up instead the show itself which is good long term but not the most interesting hour on its own. The triple threat in two weeks should be really good and they’re already doing a good job of setting up the women’s division with the new names. I mean, they’re not the Four Horsewomen but at least they’re trying and should be filling things in quite well. Good enough show here but again it’s about setting stuff up later on.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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This is another with a limited number of options but could have some interesting results.

We’ll start down in NXT with Baron Corbin. What started off appearing to be spent squashing more jobbers, Corbin turned into quite the heel character as he accentuated his athletic background started treating everyone as if they were beneath him. The year was capped off by pinning Apollo Crews in London, which should set him up as #1 contender.

Over on the main roster, we have someone who seems like he’s always on this list in Ryback. He comes off as someone who actually wants to try to improve by either expanding his moveset or trying to become a better talker. The Intercontinental Title run was starting to get somewhere when WWE pulled the plug (as they always do on Ryback), which is much more on the company than on Ryback himself. He was trying, which at least warrants a mention.

Now we get to one of the best options with Roman Reigns. Think back to the beginning of the year when Reigns was being pushed as the top guy no matter what the fans thought. To say this wasn’t exactly popular would be the understatement of the year but they never actually pulled the trigger.

Now flash forward to the end of the year with Reigns winning the title and being accepted as a top guy. Reigns showed that he could be more than just a catchphrase spewing corporate shill and actually had something interesting underneath. He’s not exactly the second coming of the Rock, but he’s leaps and bounds ahead of the man that won the Royal Rumble and was booed out of the building.

Finally we have the name that is likely to get some rather odd looks: Nikki Bella. I know she’s hit or miss to put it mildly, but there are moments where she comes off as one of the most hateable characters on the roster. Now unfortunately WWE keeps flipping her from heel to face at the drop of a hat because they have no idea how to book a Divas division. Nikki has more hatred from the fans than any woman not named Stephanie in years and really has started to figure out how to make people want to see her get what’s coming to her. That’s impressive.

Overall though, as good as Nikki was, I have to go with Reigns. He went from absolutely hated to being pretty well received, which trumps Nikki’s rise from hatred to hit and miss. Both are good but to have the fans go along with the original plan that they hated shows that Reigns really is getting better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #254
Date: August 21, 2000
Location: Kansas Coliseum, Wichita, Kansas
Attendance: 5,211
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray

Dang we’re flying through August. I’m not sure why but it feels like this month is going by faster than any has in months. Maybe I’m just talking about this because I don’t want to talk about what’s going on in WCW at the moment. We’re almost up to Fall Brawl and the main feud is still Booker T. vs. Kevin Nash. Let’s get to it.

Two notes before we get to the show. First of all, of the 5,200 people here, about 3,000 were comped. Second, there was a house show two nights before this show in Sioux City, Iowa. The show’s main event: Stevie Ray vs. Jeff Jarrett. I don’t know if that’s a regular main event for WCW at this point, but add it to the list of reasons this company is on its last legs.

We open with a recap of Russo’s shoot from last week where he wanted to fire Goldberg. Thankfully this turns into a video about Goldberg beating up a bunch of people instead. As in something people might want to watch.

Russo is on the phone with Scott Steiner, who he promises that tonight is the night. Jeff Jarrett comes in and says they need to get rid of Goldberg. Russo assures him that it’s going to work.

We see a clip of Team Canada being awesome on Thunder.

Cruiserweight Title: Elix Skipper vs. Lieutenant Loco

Skipper is defending and Lance Storm is on commentary. Rection is outside as well and starts a USA chant to get things going. They start fast (likely due to having almost no time) with Loco uppercutting the champ into the corner. A belly to back suplex looks to set up an early frog splash but Lance breaks it up with a flag shot. Rection and Storm start brawling at ringside as Skipper brings in a chair, only to have it quickly taken away. That’s the point though as Elix slips on his Grey Cup ring to knock Loco out for the pin.

We cut to the back less than five seconds after the pin to see Goldberg arriving.

Russo is on the phone with Scott and asks if he’s ready. For some reason we cut to another camera shot of Steiner saying he’s ready. Why was that camera set up?

Here’s Russo with a bunch of security and something to say. Russo talks about wanting to get off TV but they keep pulling him back in. And wouldn’t you know it, they brought him right back into one of the show’s top stories. Right now his problem is Goldberg, who runs through the crowd to take out security. Since Russo is MANLY though, Goldberg isn’t allowed to touch him due to the contract.

Therefore, Russo has an offer Goldberg can’t refuse. He pulls out a release for Goldberg which will include full payment of his contract and he can show up next Monday anywhere he wants. The papers are quickly ripped up so Russo runs his mouth even more, talking about how Jarrett, Nash and Steiner all want a piece of Goldberg tonight. Russo brings up Goldberg’s girlfriend (Beth, though I doubt I’m going to remember that) and that’s enough for Goldberg to snap. Steiner pops up on screen and he breaks into a hotel room. We see Goldberg’s girlfriend freaking out so Goldberg runs off, naturally leaving Russo posing in the ring.

Wait we’re not done yet though as Booker T. comes out to deal with Russo. You know, because so many people want to. Booker wants Russo to tell Nash that he’ll be waiting all night for the big man. Russo is NO ONE’S delivery service though because Russo made Booker. Booker was at the bottom of WCW, where Russo thinks he should still be.

So wait, is this the real Russo or was it the real Russo when he said Booker deserved to be in the main event at Bash at the Beach? Or am I just stupid for trying to figure all this out? Anyway, Booker kicks him down and gets in an ax kick for one of the few times you’ll see Russo take a beating.

Goldberg rides off on his motorcycle.

Russo yells at the Natural Born Thrillers (now with shirts) and gives Palumbo the World Title shot if Nash isn’t here on time.

Corporal Cajun/Major Gunns vs. Paisley/Kwee Wee

So Papaya is officially gone. Paisley shoves Gunns off the apron to start and Gunns…stares. Ok then. The guys start (thank goodness) with Cajun getting two off a right hand. It’s off to Gunns for one off a middle rope sunset flip before tagging Cajun back in. Paisley comes in to stand in the corner so Cajun can catapult Kwee Wee into her. Everything breaks down and the women are of course horrible. Cajun launches Gunns off the middle rope into a cross body for the pin. The guys were watchable at best and they were definitely the better part. Oh and the wrong music plays when the Misfits win.

The losers beat down the winners post match.

Russo tells Steiner to be ready for Goldberg.

Here are Tank and 3 Count to sing Tank’s new song (including lyrics about tearing out your spleen and chewing on your bladder) but Tank thinks the band screwed up. Tank goes to leave but Vampiro and the Insane Clown Posse come out to beat all four of them down. Vampiro says this is the Dark Carnival and says Juggalo Championship Wrestling is officially taking over. He holds up the JCW Title, which is somehow still around in 2016. Vampiro rants about politics and promises that he’s just getting started with Steve Borden. Tank gets back in to clear the ring out and wants a JCW Title match tonight.

Here are the Natural Born Thrillers (minus Palumbo, who is getting ready) for their debut promo. Sanders gets the mic (thank goodness) and talks about spending the last two years watching the A-list stars draw below average ratings. There’s a man at the Power Plant who has been treating them like like garbage. Sanders introduces the team and says Palumbo is going to be champion by the end of the night. Opportunity has been knocking and they’re going to give the kids someone to look up to, the men a reason to get into the gym and the women a fantasy for every night.

Cue the Filthy Animals (because Russo LOVES faction wars) with Konnan saying he thought Tank Abbott’s promos were bad. Konnan rants about them never paying any dues and having no experience in this sport. They’ve never held a title or worked at this a day in their life. Konnan’s verdict: they ain’t got it like that.

Natural Born Thrillers vs. Filthy Animals

Konnan is the odd man out and it’s O’Haire/Jindrak/Sanders in the ring. Stasiak and Konnan are on commentary (talking about Stasiak’s pet gorilla) as Rey fires off rights and lefts at Jindrak. Konnan says the Tag Team Titles are on the line here but for some reason I don’t think that’s accurate. A tilt-a-whirl slam takes Jindrak down as Konnan wants to know how Stasiak hurt his knee when he just stands in the corner and poses.

It’s off to Disqo for an elbow drop as I’m trying to figure out when the Animals turned face. Madden says this is better than watching a bunch of old guys, which Konnan refers to a traveling wax museum doing a legdrop a clothesline and posing. O’Haire and Sanders double team Disqo down to take over before it’s Jindrak coming in with a springboard clothesline. A quick Russian legsweep takes Mark down (Disqo was always totally watchable in the ring) and it’s off to Juvy with a springboard spinwheel kick.

Juvy takes Mark down with a middle rope hurricanrana and it’s time for Rey, who is quickly crotched to change control again. Konnan ribs on the Natural Born Thrillers name in a funny bit as Sanders launches Rey into an O’Haire powerslam for two. A sick Batista bomb gets two more on Rey with Disqo having to make the save.

Rey takes Mark down with a headscissors and the hot tag brings in Juvy to clean house. Disqo DDT’s Jindrak and it’s Bronco Busters all around. Tygress hits one of her own so Konnan can debut FACE FULL OF STUFF. Everything breaks down until it’s Sanders debuting the 3.0 (Randy Orton’s backbreaker) for the pin on Disqo.

Rating: B-. Probably high but I have to take what I can get on these shows. Above all else this got some time (a bit over eight minutes, an eternity on Nitro) and the match was able to go somewhere. Konnan was actually really good on commentary here and made me want to see the Animals win and was making me laugh at the same time. This is the kind of match that WCW needed to have a lot more of, but you would have to be crazy to think any of these guys were getting past the Tag Team Titles, which is where so many of WCW’s problems came from: the introduction was good but it never materialized.

We see Goldb….oh wait make sure to keep the camera on O’Haire hitting the Seanton bomb on Tygress. Ok we’ve got the violence on the woman in so now we can go to see Goldberg arrive at the hotel.

Tygress is helped to the back.

Palumbo is getting the shot tonight because Nash just isn’t here. Well at least they’re finally going somewhere with the “they’re always late” idea.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Chuck Palumbo

Booker is defending and oh sweet Russo is guest referee (naturally not even selling the beatdown from earlier). The champ works on a hammerlock to start and drops him with a quick Harlem side kick. A suplex drops Palumbo but Booker tweaks his knee again. Booker rolls him up for no count and yeah we’re doing this gem again. Palumbo gets in a shot for a very fast two and fires off some of those awesome right hands.

Booker’s sunset flip out of the corner gets Russo crawling around but stopping before one. A powerslam gets a fast near fall but Booker blasts him with a spinning forearm. The champ grabs a flapjack and Spinaroonis up, only to have the Thrillers hit the ring. Reno Rolls the Dice on Booker until Vito runs out with the stickball bat for the save. Now it’s Nash coming in with a chair to Booker’s head for a fast counted three from Booker.

Oh of course not as the Cat comes out to say Eric Bischoff made him the Commissioner and Russo is the writer. That means they’re equal (HUH?) so this match isn’t over. Wouldn’t that mean he’s overriding Russo which doesn’t work if they’re equal? The Thrillers are ejected and Booker is still officially champion because the match never ended. Booker wants to keep the match going so Cat appoints himself as referee. Good thing he had a referee shirt under his regular shirt (of course) as Russo takes over on commentary. Booker does his quick finishing sequence and retains with the Book End.

Rating: D. I lost track of what I was watching here. In other words, it’s another one of WCW’s major problems at this point: things going so fast that you can barely keep track of the match, let alone the show. It also brings up the question of why was Nash late, because apparently he arrived in between the start of the match and the four minute mark, which is quite the lucky timing. Anyway, Palumbo was trying but there was WAY too much going on to showcase anyone.

Goldberg is almost at the room! Seriously that’s how Tony put it.

Post break Goldberg gets in the ring and finds a note on the mirror saying they’re back at the arena. So it’s another movie episode.

JCW Title: Tank Abbott vs. Vampiro

Vampiro is defending and the Insane Clown Posse has taken over commentary, in whatever their over the top characters are of course. One of them dubs Tank “Pink Rabbit” and the other calls him “Hank Sandwich.” I’m not a fan of the Clowns but I remember their commentary being some of the funniest stuff I had ever heard. Vampiro kicks “Frank Rabbit’s” leg as the announcers try to figure out what Tank’s leg is made of. Tank punches the referee by mistake and then goes after Vampiro, drawing the Clowns into the ring. Muta comes in and mists Tank but 3 Count runs in for the save as this is thrown out.

Scott Steiner drags Goldberg’s girlfriend into the arena. As usual, women in a Russo promotion are helpless.

Russo gives Vito a match with Nash tonight.

Hardcore Title: Kronik vs. Norman Smiley

Smiley is the reluctant champion and asked for this match. Adams is in street clothes (I don’t want to see that street) so he sits in on commentary while Clark is left alone in the ring. Smiley, who wants to lose the title, starts swinging a kendo stick until Clark takes it away. I think you can figure out what’s going to happen next so I’ll let you put the pieces together yourself.

Clark kicks a trashcan into his face so Smiley goes outside and slaps Adams. That earns Norman a full nelson slam from Adams and the Meltdown from Clark as we’re just waiting on the Harris Twins. Adams goes to get a table (and finds smoke under the ring for some reason) before sitting back on commentary as the Twins come in and lay out Kronik with a chain. An H Bomb through a table retains Norman’s title, much to his chagrin.

Rating: F. It’s rare that a TV show gives me more than one match where I don’t know what to say but Russo has pulled it off. The match was just a backdrop for the comedy angle and another run-in to set up a match that almost no one wants to see. Kronik needed to get out of the tag division but the Harris Twins were the best opponents they could get? What did I do to get stuck with this?

Cat tells Lance Storm that Carl Oulette’s work visa has been denied so Storm is defending the US Title in a tag match against Mike Awesome and General Rection. Storm’s partner is a surprise. Oh dear.

Steiner tells Goldberg’s girlfriend that she’s a pawn.

Vito goes on a rant about how Russo isn’t his friend but tonight he’s going to fight the biggest guy in WCW.

Kevin Nash vs. Big Vito

Nash pounds him into the corner to start because Vito has been getting a very moderate push tonight so we need to crush him before it gets out of hand. There’s the boot choke but Vito escapes Snake Eyes and scores with the Mafia kick. A suplex and legdrop get two on Nash but he comes right back with a bit boot and side slam for two. Now Snake Eyes works and a chokeslam gets two. The straps go down and Nash scores with the Jackknife, only to have Booker come in (with his music playing for all of a second and a half) for the DQ.

Rating: D. As usual Nash doesn’t let anyone get in anything significant on him, though at least the Mafia kick got to make contact. You knew Vito wasn’t going to win here because he’s a main eventer though and Vito is in his early 30s. Nothing to see here as usual but at least Booker got in a shot on Nash.

Vito won’t get medical attention. I’m guessing that’s his rub.

US Title: Lance Storm/??? vs. General Rection/Mike Awesome

Storm is defending and whoever gets the pin gets the title. The Canadian flag comes out and Storm gets in some shots at the fans, only to be cut off by Jeff Jarrett’s music. Rection and Awesome get no music for reasons that aren’t clear. The production staff is way off tonight. Rection knocks Storm into the corner to start before dropping him with a gorilla press. Jeff is smart enough to kick Rection in the back, allowing Storm to nail a superkick to take over.

Jarrett breaks up a cover by Storm as the match is already getting too confusing. Rection misses a top rope elbow but Awesome tags himself in as everything breaks down. A big powerbomb puts Storm down with Jeff having to make a save, leaving Rection to hit No Laughing Matter on the champ. Cue Skipper to make a save of his own and Jeff adds a guitar shot to Mike (which might have been meant for Storm) to let Lance retain the title.

Rating: D. Another match with a bunch of stuff crammed into less than four minutes, meaning there was almost no way to catch everything. That just should not happen in a match this short, even if it was designed to set up a feud with Awesome vs. Jarrett and continue the Rection vs. Storm feud, which really isn’t of note anyway.

Steiner drags the girlfriend to the ring because she’s there to make men look dominant and powerful. Scott rants about how Goldberg started this before calling her a rather bad name for a woman as well as ugly. Goldberg slowly walks out until Jarrett hits him in the back with a chair. The villains double team Goldberg as the girlfriend watches in fear. Booker tries to make a save but Nash comes in. Goldberg fights back until Rick Steiner runs out with a pipe to put Goldberg down. They handcuff him in the corner and Steiner puts the girlfriend in the Recliner right in front of Goldberg to end the show (two minutes before the hour).

Overall Rating: D-. It takes a lot to make me uncomfortable watching wrestling. When you’ve been watching for nearly thirty years, you really do think you’ve seen everything. However, the way Russo books women on his shows are actually making me cringe. From what I can count, the following women were on this show: Beth, Major Gunns, Paisley and Tygress. Here’s what happened to them:

Major Gunns – Nothing

Tygress – Seanton bomb

Paisley – Splashed by Kwee Wee

Beth – Kidnapped, called an ugly b**** and put in the Steiner Recliner

Keep in mind that Goldberg vs. Steiner is happening because Goldberg (at least off camera) put Midajah through a table. Assuming you believe the plans that were only abandoned because the company went under, Russo was going to get to be announced as the father of Miss Hancock’s baby (no word on whether it would have been consensual).

Watching these shows is like some weird therapy as Russo tries to work out his horrible issues with women. On these shows, women are regularly beaten up, treated like garbage, jump from one man to another (Paisley), breaking a man’s heart because she doesn’t get that he’s crazy about her (Crowbar), or put in mud matches. This stuff keeps happening and it’s getting more and more disturbing to watch almost every single week.

Other than that though, this show was your usual borderline disaster with the stories feeling more like a straight to video movie and the wrestling ranging from not bad to barely worth the time. The baseline problem of this show continues to be having too much going on, leaving little time to actually build anything up. The Thrillers are a nice idea but there’s no reason to believe they’re going anywhere long term. It’s fine to see them get pushed though, even it it means nothing. Bad show overall, even with the talent trying its hardest to shine through.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6