Smackdown – December 22, 2015: Now Bring Us A Better Smackdown, Now Bring Us A Better Smackdown

Smackdown
Date: December 22, 2015
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Jerry Lawler

This is the special live show that follows the age of rule of “don’t have a show on Christmas Eve”. It’s also a stacked show as WWE tries to get some more attention on Smackdown before the move to the live broadcast just after the new year. Therefore we have two title matches as Dean Ambrose and the New Day defend their titles. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, this time with Christmas trees at the beginning.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Lucha Dragons

The Dragons are challenging. Before the match, New Day plugs their new Christmas album, featuring songs such as Rudolph the Red Nosed Unicorn and Kofi the Snowman. Woods is the odd man out here as Cara dropkicks Kofi to start. It’s quickly off to Kalisto for the monkey flip 450 but he gets Big E. for his luck. E. tries a slam but gets kneed in the face, followed by a staggering dropkick. Cara’s missile dropkick gets two but Kofi comes in with a hurricanrana. That’s not really a heel move but then again the New Day aren’t really heels. A baseball slide puts Kofi down and it’s time for tromboning and a break.

Back with Big E. missing a splash and it’s the hot tag to Kalisto as everything picks up. Woods finally trips him up to take over again, allowing Big E. to drive Kalisto HARD into the barricade. That was one of the hardest looking crashes I’ve ever seen. It’s time for the Unicorn Stampede bug Kalisto flips out of a belly to belly and makes the hot tag. Everything speeds up again and the Dragons score with a double suicide dive. Back in and Cara kicks E. in the head, setting up Salida Del Sol. Kofi breaks up the Swanton though and Cara moonsaults into the Big Ending to retain the titles at 12:37.

Rating: C+. This was fine for what it needed to be and lets New Day look good before their big showdown with the Usos. The Dragons were a good choice for a quick challenge and the match worked well enough. I was hoping they would push Kalisto as something on his own after the performance in the tournament and the big Salida Del Sol but it’s just more false hope.

Santino puts the star on his tree but someone (who looked like Stardust) steals it.

Dolph Ziggler, Charlotte, Tyler Breeze and Roman Reigns wish us a Merry Christmas.

Ambrose says he’s sore from the last week but says he’s going to hit Ziggler and Owens with whatever it takes to retain Intercontinental Champion.

Ryback/Kane/Dudley Boyz vs. Wyatt Family

Ryback and Rowan get things going but it’s quickly off to Bubba for a shoulder and we take a quick break. Back with Harper putting Bubba in a chinlock to slow things down even more. It’s off to Strowman who wants Kane, which is exactly what he gets. The smaller monster is easily pounded down and it’s off to Wyatt for some shots in the corner. Kane comes back with a quick faceplant on Harper before bringing in Ryback. The middle rope dropkick puts Harper down but he grabs a Michinoku Driver as we go to our second break.

Back with Rowan holding Ryback in a head vice until a spinebuster gives him a breather. Another double tag brings in D-Von and Bray with the Dudley taking over. The top rope headbutt gets two on Bray and everything breaks down. Rowan clotheslines Ryback over the barricade and the reverse 3D gets two more on Wyatt. There’s a superkick to D-Von and Sister Abigail ends Bubba at 16:08.

Rating: C. This is the kind of match the Wyatts need to win. They’re slowly being built back up but at some point they have to actually do something. It’s also amazing how much more I can tolerate these things with fewer ancient ECW guys in there and people like Ryback having something to do instead. Not a great or even good match but it did its job.

Santino’s Christmas party is a disaster as everything has been wrecked. This brings in Stardust and the Ascension to take credit for destroying everything. Neville, in a hilarious elf hat, comes in to stand up for Christmas. Titus, in the same hat, appears and says he’ll put a boot down Ascension’s chimney. A tag match is made for later.

Rusev/Alberto Del Rio vs. Usos

Jey chops Rusev to start but gets dragged into the corner as the League starts taking turns on him. Del Rio hits a top rope right hand and Rusev rakes a boot over the face. Jey gets over for the tag and Jimmy comes in for two off a double flapjack. Everything breaks down and Jey’s dive over the top nails Alberto. Jimmy does the same to Rusev but they’re both dropped with kicks as we take a break.

Back with everything breaking down and Jimmy being sent into the steps. Del Rio snaps Jey’s throat across the rope but gets caught on top. A superplex is broken up and it’s time for the top rope double stomp. Thankfully Jey realizes that he can move to break it up, only to have a Rusev distraction allow Rusev to knock him back into place. The stomp is good for the pin at 10:30.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one quite as much as the Usos win an award, beat the champions last night and then lose here. As usual it’s the same story of bad booking going in the same circles over and over. I’m getting tired of trying to care about a team and then having them lose all over again. What does the win over New Day last night mean now? Watchable match but more bad booking.

Post match the League loads up the Brogue Kick on Jimmy but Reigns makes the save.

Dean Ambrose, Santino Marella, Becky Lynch and New Day wish us a Merry Christmas.

Titus O’Neil/Neville vs. Ascension

Santino introduces Neville and Titus (“My favorite Irishman!”) and it’s Neville and Konor starting things off. Neville is in some early trouble thanks to the power game so it’s off to Viktor. That doesn’t go very well as the hot tag brings in Titus. Viktor takes him down as well and everyone surrounds Santino on the floor. The Cobra is loaded up but Santino just wipes himself off with it, allowing Neville to dive onto all three. Back in and a big boot sets up the Red Arrow to Viktor for the pin at 3:09.

Rating: D+. Nothing match here and the saving Christmas story was just tacked on. I mean, this is no Mark Henry vs. Damien Sandow or JBL Claus vs. Mick Claus but then again this isn’t much of a show anyway. Neville getting the pin is a good thing though after they gave him an award last night and then had him lose.

We recap Ziggler vs. Owens vs. Ambrose.

Dolph says he’s been going about this the wrong way but tonight he’s going to make 2016 the year of Dolph Ziggler.

Charlotte vs. Brie Bella

Non-title with Becky Lynch on commentary. Charlotte, in a Mrs. Claus skirt, kicks away to start as the fans want Becky. A Flair knee drop misses and Becky can’t answer if she’d rather have friends or win the Divas Title. Charlotte ducks the big YES kick and hits a quick spear. Cue Team BAD as a snowman, a reindeer and…..I’m not sure what Tamina is supposed to be. They throw eggnog on Becky and beat her down but Charlotte puts Brie in the Figure Eight for the win at 3:39.

Rating: D. Angle advancement here as we need Brie on TV to set up the new season of Total Divas. I mean, I hear there’s going to be Brie vs. Nikki drama this time. Becky vs. Charlotte should be good, much like when we FINALLY get rid of Team Bad as the female New Day, minus any of the actual comedy.

Becky is annoyed at Charlotte post match.

Owens promises to turn Smackdown into the Kevin Owens Show and says Renee Young looks ridiculous.

Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens

Ambrose is defending so of course he comes out first. Owens is quickly sent outside but he pulls Dolph outside. Dean breaks up a powerbomb attempt on the floor so Owens backsplashes both guys as we take a break. Back with everyone heading up the ramp and Owens throws Ziggler through the Christmas presents. Ziggler breaks up a powerbomb to Ambrose and they throw Owens off the stage through more trees.

That leaves Ziggler and Ambrose to fight on the stage with empty boxes. They head back to the ring with Ziggler loading up a superplex, only to have Owens runs back in for the save. Owens superkicks Ziggler and Dean clotheslines Kevin to put all three down. Dean goes up top but Dolph runs up the corner for a super facebuster. Ziggler is sent into the steps to give Owens two on Ambrose.

Dolph runs back in for a sleeper but gets thrown to the floor, leaving Owens to suplex Dean onto his head for two. As the referee makes sure Dean can remember what planet he’s on, Owens is smart enough to go beat on Ziggler to give the crowd something to watch. Dean gets back up and tries Dirty Deeds on Owens but Ziggler comes in to add the Zig Zag to Ambrose, putting all three down again. Ziggler covers Dean for two and superkicks Owens but walks into Dirty Deeds to retain Dean’s title at 13:25.

Rating: B-. Good, action packed match here that was a few miles ahead of everything else on the show with all three guys working hard to get the match over. Again they made sure to keep Owens from getting pinned which is the exactly right idea to keep the feud going. Ziggler is the kind of guy who can lose all the time and still be fine but Owens might be going somewhere big. Good stuff here and almost enough to save the show.

Owens destroys the Christmas trees as Ambrose celebrates to take us out.

Overall Rating: C. Totally skippable show here with really nothing major happening. The two title matches were nice but you can tell they’re saving their big stuff for the regular premiere on USA. It doesn’t help that this is a week they basically take off for the holidays because we get seven hours of mostly lame WWE in three days. This was nothing to see though and a really standard episode of Smackdown: watchable wrestling that meant absolutely nothing.

Results

New Day b. Lucha Dragons – Big Ending to Cara

Wyatt Family b. Dudley Boyz/Ryback/Kane – Sister Abigail to Bubba

Rusev/Alberto Del Rio b. Usos – Top rope double stomp to Jey

Titus O’Neil/Neville b. Ascension – Red Arrow to Viktor

Charlotte b. Brie Bella – Figure Eight

Dean Ambrose b. Kevin Owens and Dolph Ziggler – Dirty Deeds to Ziggler

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – December 21, 2015: I’ll Accept This Show on WWE’s Behalf

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 21, 2015
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s the Slammy Awards! Tonight is all about picking the best of the year, or at least whoever the fans pick as the best of the year. The big award is of course Superstar of the Year which is likely going to Roman Reigns again. The other major story though is fallout from last week’s World Title change, which likely means Stephanie going after Reigns. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Reigns beating Sheamus and infuriating the McMahons last week.

Here’s a very happy Stephanie to open things up. She thinks we’re confused by her mood but it’s very simple: McMahons are fighters and tonight is all about a celebration. Cue Roman Reigns who says everyone is in a good mood tonight. Stephanie is really not happy that he’s here but Reigns says he doesn’t sweat anyone, including the League of Nations, any of the McMahons or HHH himself.

That’s too much for Stephanie as she starts shrieking at him to get out of her ring and does her usual whining about her family and her legacy and all that jazz. Reigns doesn’t really care and turns his back on her, eventually leaving very slowly. This makes Stephanie demand that he come back here but Reigns just keeps going. Stephanie says that means consequences so she makes the Usos vs. the New day in a handicap match and Ambrose vs. Sheamus inside a cage. Reigns keeps going up the steps and posing with the title.

It’s time for the first award with Dolph Ziggler (in a tuxedo) presenting Breakout Star of the Year. Here are the nominees:

Kevin Owens

Neville

Charlotte

Tyler Breeze

Braun Strowman

After a break, the winner is…..Neville. Neville says he’s excited about this and completely surprised until Kevin Owens comes out to interrupt. Owens says that’s his award and gets in a fight with Ziggler until……cue the Wyatts for a completely unrelated match.

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

Bray gets punched into the corner to start but a Harper distraction lets him come back with a big running clothesline. The Wyatts go after Kane so he heads outside after him, drawing a quick DQ at 54 seconds.

Kane gets beaten down post match until the Dudley Boyz and Tommy Dreamer come out for the save because this is still a feud.

Kane/Dudley Boyz/Tommy Dreamer vs. Wyatt Family

This is joined in progress with Dreamer in trouble and the announcers comparing Kane to Chewbacca. Dreamer quickly fights up and makes the tag to Kane for a kick to Harper’s face. It’s off to Bubba for some house cleaning but everything breaks down a few seconds later. There’s What’s Up to Harper, which JBL says is like a sofa. 3D to Rowan but Strowman takes Bubba and D-Von down with a double clothesline. The discus lariat puts D-Von out for the pin at 2:43 shown.

Here’s the returning (for one night only I believe) Santino Marella to present the LOL Laugh Out Loudest Moment of the Year. The nominees are:

Edge and Christian vs. New Day in a trombone vs. kazoo battle

The Bushwhackers’ Hall of Fame induction speech

Miz’s “commercial” for erectile dysfunction

The Authority dances with New Day

R-Truth thinks he’s in the Money in the Bank ladder match

After a break, the winner is R-Truth. Well that’s one out of two at least. Santino tries to accept the award for himself but Truth comes out and starts a light brawl for the trophy.

We get a quick visit from Old Saint Mick (with elf Noelle). He wishes us all Happy Holidays and says he’s very sorry for giving Xavier Woods that trombone last year.

Here’s Paul Heyman to present the OMG Moment of the Year Award. After saying that Brock Lesnar should win all the awards save for LOL and Diva of the Year, here are the nominees:

Seth Rollins cashes in Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania

Brock Lesnar the night after Wrestlemania

Kalisto’s Salida Del Sol through the ladder at Tables Ladders and Chairs

Wyatt Family kidnaps Undertaker at Hell in a Cell

Sheamus cashes in Money in the Bank at Survivor Series

After a break, Kalisto wins. Really? It was good but biggest shock of the year? Not really. Kalisto is here in a suit and without much to say as an acceptance speech.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens

Ziggler goes right at him to start and tries the sleeper so Owens drops back with all his weight for the break. A big elbow sends Ziggler to the floor and Owens shouts that HE is the breakout star. Well to be fair he’s right. We hit the chinlock on Dolph and we actually show the brawl from earlier tonight which set this up. Well at least it’s during a hold but dude, it was less than an hour ago.

Back up and Ziggler grabs a rollup for two, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline. After another chinlock, Dolph grabs the running DDT and we take a break. We come back with Owens getting two off a superplex but eating a superkick to put him outside. A quick Fameasser gets two for Dolph (in case you thought Owens was doing it) but Owens comes right back with the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 11:08.

Rating: C. Well at least Owens won. Unfortunately we’re still stuck in the same circle of chasing our own tail with the midcard because they had something interesting with Owens and then reverted him back to the same character just a week later. I’m sure it just wasn’t getting over because of some social media score determining that people didn’t care enough or whatever, because that’s what seems to run WWE these days.

Here’s Stephanie (of course) to present Superstar of the Year with every member of the roster as a nominee. We get a quick video of everyone on the roster before the nominees are listed as:

Roman Reigns

Sheamus

John Cena

Kevin Owens

Dean Ambrose

Bray Wyatt

New Day (all three members)

Undertaker

Kane

Sting

Brock Lesnar

Seth Rollins

Post break the winner is……Seth Rollins, who actually limps out on crutches. The fans thank him but he says this was obvious the whole time. Seth does his usual recap of his year and says that his success went away just as quickly as it came. That title is coming back to him in the new year because he will retake what he never lost.

John Cena returns next week to face Alberto Del Rio.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

I KNEW IT WOULD BE SWAGGER!!! As soon as I saw Del Rio in the ring I knew it would be Swagger. It had to be Swagger because he’s Del Rio’s personal jobber and that’s the only idea WWE has for Swagger. Non-title of course. Del Rio kicks him to the floor and hits a quick baseball slide as we take a break. Back with Del Rio getting two off a DDT but Jack ducks the low superkick and grabs a quick belly to belly. The Vader Bomb gets two and Jack loads up a superplex, only to slip and get caught with the top rope double stomp for the pin at 7:07. Not enough seen to rate but this was the same stuff we’ve seen from them every time.

The League beats Jack down post match.

Here’s Mark Henry to present the new Hero in All of Us Award, which seems to be for best charity work. The nominees are:

Natalya

Roman Reigns

Big Show

Titus O’Neil

John Cena

After a break, the winner is John Cena. He’s not here tonight but Henry says that Cena and all the other nominees do this out of the goodness of their hearts rather than for awards. Henry accepts the award on Cena’s behalf.

There were some other awards given out before the show went on the air, including:

Rivalry of the Year – Lesnar vs. Undertaker

WWE Network Original Show of the Year – Steve Austin Show

Double Cross of the Year – Damien Mizdow

Extreme Moment of the Year – Reigns attacks HHH

Here’s Santa Claus (as played by Bo Dallas) to introduce the Surprise Return of the Year. He’s the REAL Santa and not the fat old man at the mall. Here are the nominees:

Dudley Boyz

Chris Jericho

Alberto Del Rio

Kane

Sting

Post break the winner is Sting, who also isn’t here tonight either.

New Day vs. Usos

Non-title handicap match. Before the match, New Day blames the fans for spoiling the Tag Team of the Year award. Therefore, they’re going to SPOIL STAR WARS! Kofi cuts Big E. off because he hasn’t seen it yet. Woods: “YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET?????” Dancing solves the problem and we’re ready to go.

Jimmy and Kofi get things going with the twins starting in on the arm. Kofi works on Jey’s arm as well, only to get kicked into the corner. Big E. and Xavier break up the Rikishi attack and all three have to move before the Usos can dive on them. Back with Jey being dragged into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede with Woods dropping to the floor for some musical accompaniment.

Big E. slaps on the abdominal stretch for a bit and gets two off the Warrior splash. Jey fights up and makes the hot tag to Jimmy for some good house cleaning. The Samoan drop gets two on Woods and New Day heads outside, only to have Big E. break up the double dive. Not that it matters as Jimmy rolls Woods up for the pin at 10:59.

Rating: C-. For every few steps this company takes forward, we get something like this. You make this a handicap match so the Usos can lose, but oh no because you need to keep them looking strong for later so let’s put them over the champions here because we have no other way to actually get them over. Like giving them an award or something. This is the kind of stuff that drives me the craziest and it just keeps happening over and over. Also there was no mention of the Stephanie/Reigns story from earlier.

Here’s R-Truth to present Diva of the Year. The nominees are:

Nikki Bella

Naomi

Paige

Sasha Banks

Charlotte

Back with…..Paige winning. Well that’s quite the surprise. Oh wait it’s actually a Steve Harvey joke because Truth read it wrong. Therefore, Nikki Bella wins. See, in WWE, just saying something exists means that it’s funny. Nikki comes out and has Paige stand there next to her as she dedicates this to every woman in the company. So she’s a face again.

Rusev vs. Neville

The League is here and Miz is on commentary. Rusev stomps him down in the corner to start and we hit an early chinlock as Miz says Neville could go even further with the right management. Neville fights up and kicks Rusev to the post, only to be sent into the post. A belly to belly sends Neville crashing down and we take a break.

Back with Neville moonsaulting to the floor as JBL gets in his weekly “THERE’S YOUR SPORTSCENTER HIGHLIGHT” line. Neville loads up the Red Arrow with Rusev across the ring. That goes as well as you would think as he dives into the jumping superkick, setting up the Accolade to give Rusev the win at 7:38.

Rating: D+. So they’ll protect the Usos but not Neville, who won an award earlier tonight on the show? Another nothing match here as Neville is still a jobber but at least Rusev got a win for a change. He’s still a mess after Lana came back so it’s cool to see him acting like his old self for at least one night.

The League beats Neville down as well.

Miz is presenting the THIS IS AWESOME Award. After complaining about not being nominated, he introduces the nominees as:

Brock Lesnar destroying J and J’s car

Randy Orton’s RKO to Rollins at Wrestlemania

Stephanie McMahon starting the Divas Revolution

The Shield reuniting to beat down Orton

Rock and Ronda Rousey at Wrestlemania

After we come back, Stephanie FINALLY gets her award as Rock and Ronda Rousey wins. Miz accepts on Rock’s behalf and plugs Santa’s Little Helper.

Becky Lynch vs. Brie Bella

Rematch from Smackdown because it’s a meaningless show. Brie takes over to start and puts on a quickly broken chinlock, only to knee Becky down. The YES Kicks get two and we hit a seated abdominal stretch. Well stretch is a relative term as Brie isn’t pulling back or anything but she’s trying. We hit another armbar as this has been all Brie so far. Becky makes her comeback with clotheslines but THIS IS A BRIE BELLA MATCH so she cuts her down with a dropkick, only to get rolled up into the Disarm-Her for the tap at 5:14.

Rating: D+. As I think we’ve learned by now, Brie really isn’t that good. They had an idea here with the arm but Brie really couldn’t carry this to anything beyond the run of the mill Divas match. She still has no idea if she’s a face or a heel and it makes for some really awkward matches.

Ric Flair introduces the nominees for Match of the Year:

John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins – Royal Rumble

Sting vs. HHH – Wrestlemania

John Cena vs. Kevin Owens – Elimination Chamber

Roman Reigns vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens vs. Alberto Del Rio – Raw – October 26

Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar – Hell in a Cell

The final award of the night goes to Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar and for the fourth time tonight, the big name isn’t here to accept. Heyman comes out instead and says Brock doesn’t come out and accept awards. Brock wants a fight but no one in the back is man enough to face Brock Lesnar. One phenom this year stood up and took a beating but there is only one conqueror.

The cage is lowered.

In the back, the League attacks the Usos with Rusev and Del Rio putting on their submissions. Both of them get Brogue Kicks as well.

Ambrose defends tomorrow night against Kevin Owens and Dolph Ziggler. Why should Ziggler get a shot when Owens pinned him earlier tonight?

Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose

Non-title. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Dean before he can get inside and since referees have no authority in WWE, the match starts anyway. We get the ten forearms to the chest as the fans chant SHEAMUS IS BORING. Sheamus actually acknowledges them and waves the chants on, only to get backdropped into the cage wall. Dean goes for the climb but Sheamus is right up after him for White Noise off the top for two.

Now it’s Sheamus going up but getting crotched down, only to be met by the League as he tries to escape. That’s fine with Dean as he dives down onto Sheamus with the elbow for a VERY close two. Del Rio slams the door on Dean’s head though, drawing out Reigns to take out the League with a chair. Thanks for coming BEFORE they cost your buddy the match Roman.

The League runs off and Sheamus climbs up, only to have Reigns waiting on him with a chair. Roman throws it to Dean and Sheamus is caught. Dirty Deeds onto the chair doesn’t even get a cover as Dean climbs, allowing Sheamus to catch him on top. They slug it out on top of the cage and slowly come down with Dean getting headbutted off for the win at 10:45.

Rating: C. This was fine with Ambrose and Reigns surviving one more time. They’ve done a great job of setting those two up as unbreakable brothers, meaning that the eventual split is going to be even better. Sheamus losing here is fine enough because no one buys him as a real threat to win the title again and his rematch is likely coming on the first Raw of the year instead of at the Rumble or on any other big stage.

Tom Phillips asks Stephanie for her reaction so she beats him down with slaps. Tom sells them like death to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m a big sucker for the Slammy Awards but this didn’t do it for me. The big stars not being there to accept really crippled things and most of the award picks were fine, meaning there wasn’t much to get annoyed about. Cena being back next week will help and there are places they can go from here, but the show as a whole was really nothing great. That puts it WAY ahead of recent weeks though so it’s definitely not horrible, but still nothing I’m going to remember by the new year.

Results

Kane b. Bray Wyatt via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered

Wyatt Family b. Tommy Dreamer/Dudley Boyz/Kane – Discus lariat to D-Von

Kevin Owens b. Dolph Ziggler – Pop Up Powerbomb

Alberto Del Rio b. Jack Swagger – Top rope double stomp

Usos b. New Day – Rollup to Woods

Rusev b. Neville – Accolade

Becky Lynch b. Brie Bella – Disarm-Her

Dean Ambrose b. Sheamus – Ambrose escaped the cage

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




TNA One Night Only – World Cup Of Wrestling III: Someone Get Me JBL

TNA World Cup of Wrestling III
Date: August 5, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

Dang it I knew I’d get back to these one day. For some reason (likely because no one likes them) these are getting harder and harder to find online and the best I can do is usually two and a half months after the air date. In this case it’s another team competition, which is usually one of the better ideas they have. There will be four teams of six wrestlers each. All of the teams are going to face each other once, plus a four way with each of the captains. The teams with the most points (1 point per win) meet in an elimination tag for the whole thing. Let’s get to it.

No opening video for a change.

It’s time for Jeremy Borash to waste a lot of time by holding the live draft. We open with the introductions of the four captains:

Bobby Roode

Eric Young

Ethan Carter III

Jeff Hardy

Josh rips on JB for reading off a clipboard but praises Carter despite him carrying one of his own. Also ignore the part where Josh says Carter will make a great World Champion, despite winning the title a month before this aired. ALSO ignore the fact that Hardy was out with a broken leg three months before this aired.

We keep wasting time with an opening statement from each captain. Ethan (with his arm in the big brace) says he’s been thinking about his loss last year at the World Cup and he can’t wait to make it up. Young doesn’t want to hear from the fans because he won this last year. Roode and Hardy keep it more simple by saying they’ll win.

Now here’s the thing: it’s going to take a LONG time to get through the picks so I’m not going to say “this person picked this person” step by step. Instead, here are the teams in full with the captains listed first:

Bobby Roode, Lashley, Austin Aries, Magnus, Mr. Anderson, Taryn Terrell

Ethan Carter III, Tyrus, James Storm, Awesome Kong, Jesse Godderz, Robbie E.

Eric Young, Bram, Abyss, Havok, Samuel Shaw, Manik

Jeff Hardy, Gunner, Davey Richards, Gail Kim, Crazzy Steve, Rockstar Spud

There were only two funny bits here: Carter picked Jeremy Borash first. Carter: “Just kidding it’s Tyrus.” Second, when Robbie came out, he danced around, kissed Kong, and shouted I’M NOT LAST!!! Also Josh thought Roode was going to pick Hornswoggle when he said from Green Bay, Wisconsin. As usual, Josh isn’t funny.

The picks are done but JB says the opening match still isn’t ready to start.

Quick rules explanation.

Bram vs. Austin Aries

The first opening bell: 28 minutes into the show, leaving us with about two hours and twelve minutes to get through ten matches. Aries is quickly dumped out to the floor and sent into the barricade as the announcers are actually still on topic. I give it ten minutes. Aries gets smart by taking out the knee as Josh is showing JB a photo of him at Manchester United’s stadium. Dang they didn’t even make it three minutes.

The Last Chancery sends Bram going to the ropes for a break and things settle down again. Bram stomps on the chest to break up a sunset flip attempt as about four fans chant ANGRY JESUS. Off to a chinlock on Aries for a bit before he grabs a second Last Chancery. So the first one was the next to Last Chancery?

Back up and Aries goes to the apron to send Bram face first into alternating buckles over and over. A missile dropkick sets up the running corner dropkick but Bram gets a boot up for a block. An Edge-O-Matic gets two for Bram and he starts pounding on Aries’ back for good measure. Bram slowly kicks at him and is quickly rolled up for the pin.

Rating: C. Not a bad match until a pretty slow ending. Aries continues to be one of the best acts in the company’s history and of course he’s now gone because they decided to keep going with Angle and Hardy on top instead of going back to him in the years since he lost the title.

Team Roode – 1

Team Young – 0

Team Hardy – 0

Team Carter – 0

EC3 lists off the members of his team and promises to win. Kong looks terrified when the BroMans (with DJZ) start talking. This is even more filler.

James Storm vs. Lashley

Storm has Khoya (Mahabali Shera) with him. Feeling out process to start with Storm dropping down for some pushups. He can’t throw Lashley around though so James bails to the floor and meets with Khoya. The instructions seem to work as Khoya grabs the leg, sending Lashley outside after him. That’s about it for the success as Lashley shoulders Storm down inside and rams him into the buckle a few times.

Khoya blocks a spear attempt and Storm finally takes over with a Backstabber. Storm’s enziguri starts a bad cowbell chant but Lashley fires off right hands to make his comeback. Neither finisher can hit and Storm gets two off a neckbreaker. A spinebuster should set up Lashley’s spear but another Khoya distraction….doesn’t matter as the spear connects to give Lashley the win.

Rating: D+. Now we’re getting into the standard One Night Only match formula: short matches that don’t have time to go anywhere and have no heat on them because they’re part of some big show long idea, meaning this really doesn’t mean a ton. You can feel the lack of caring in the crowd though and it’s not a good sign going forward.

Team Roode – 2

Team Young – 0

Team Hardy – 0

Team Carter – 0

Storm blames Khoya for the loss and demands that Khoya bow to him.

Roode thinks his team will win.

BroMans vs. Magnus/Mr. Anderson

Jesse and Magnus get things going with Magnus taking over off a wristlock. Anderson comes in and works on the arm as well until it’s off to Robbie, who walks into a hiptoss. The announcers debate game shows as Magnus gets two off a suplex. Some heel double teaming lets Jesse take over and he actually wins a slugout against Magnus. As you might expect, the announcers spent the segment trying to figure out what to call Magnus and Mickie James.

Robbie chinlocks Magnus for a bit before some elbows to the BroMans’ faces allow for the tag to Anderson. I can’t really call it hot as the fans didn’t seem to notice but it was in fact a tag. Everything breaks down but DJZ distracts the referee. Anderson goes after him and gets hairspray in the eyes, allowing Robbie to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. Worst match of the show so far but a lot of that is due to Anderson and Magnus having gone through the motions for the last year (or several years in Anderson’s case). That being said, the ending makes sense as former World Tag Team Champions should be able to beat a thrown together team with no history.

Team Roode – 2

Team Carter – 1

Team Young – 0

Team Hardy – 0

Young says his team will win.

Manik/Abyss vs. Rockstar Spud/Davey Richards

This could be decent. Davey and Manik trade some basic stuff to start before it’s off to Spud vs. Abyss. Spud goes right at him and has about as much success as you might expect. A middle rope forearm staggers Abyss but Spud has to bite his way out of a chokeslam attempt. Spud actually puts him down with a missile dropkick and Abyss looks stunned.

Manik tags himself in and gets punched out, only to have Abyss run both good guys over. It’s Spud in trouble now as JB talks about James Storm’s stable. Davey leads a KILL SPUD KILL chant as the Revolution guys take turns on chinlocks. The announcers make their picks for the whole competition. I’m kind of stunned that they’ve stayed on topic this long.

Spud crawls through Manik’s legs to make the tag off to Davey for the rapid fire kicks in the corner. Everything breaks down and the giant is sent to the floor, allowing Davey and Spud to double team Manik in the corner. Abyss takes a suicide dive from Davey, leaving Spud to hit the Underdog on Manik. A top rope double stomp gives Davey the easy pin.

Rating: C. Very simple idea here but the match worked well enough all around. Richards and Spud were a good underdog team and fought off a regular pairing. Abyss is good for a monster who can come in at any time and play his normal role as well as anyone else. Totally watchable match here which is as good as it gets around here.

Team Roode – 2

Team Carter – 1

Team Hardy – 1

Team Young – 0

Hardy says his team will win.

Crazzy Steve vs. Samuel Shaw

I’ve had nightmares about things like this before. Steve comes in with a zombie cymbal playing monkey around his neck. Shawn frames the monkey but Steve won’t let him touch it. The announcers talk about Brian Stiffler’s pierced nipples because of course they do. Now it’s off to a discussion of mall stores because they like Steve’s belt. Shaw shoves Steve down and crawls for the monkey but Steve crawls over as well and shakes his head no. The fans (save for one guy) are silent for most of this.

Steve bites Shaw’s face and it’s time to play hot potato with the monkey. Now Shaw crawls after the referee as Josh sings Taryn Terrell’s theme music. Shaw hates Steve and I hate the horrible punches that Steve uses for his comeback. With Steve down, Shaw picks up the monkey and goes up, only to miss a guillotine legdrop. Fans: “LET’S GO MONKEY!” Steve picks up the monkey but the referee takes it away, setting up a low blow and Shaw’s standing choke for the win.

Rating: F. A little over a year ago, Bully Ray and Rockstar Spud beat the Dirty Heels in the funniest match I’ve ever seen. That match worked because Ray and Spud work really well together as an oddball combination. It felt like they were told to go out there and be funny for ten minutes while being allowed to pick the details themselves. This felt like they were given a bad idea and had no idea how to make it work, which is why comedy in wrestling rarely works.

Team Roode – 2

Team Hardy – 1

Team Carter – 1

Team Young – 1

Havok vs. Awesome Kong

Hardcore (not announced to the crowd) because I don’t think anyone wants to see these two have a regular match. They start fighting in the aisle as you would expect them to as Kong takes over off a trashcan shot. Josh: “No need for Duke Droese here.” Havok’s weapon shots knock Kong into the ring but Kong goes all ninja by spinning a pipe around. That’s the coolest thing I’ve seen on these shows in forever.

Of course the fans want tables as Havok beats Kong down again. Here’s a ladder because these two don’t listen to the fans. Josh starts asking about having water infused with fruit. Seriously where does he get this stuff? Kong “chokeslams” Havok onto the ladder (read as she shoved Havok down) for the pin.

Rating: D-. I can’t call it a failure when it had the ninja stick thing from Kong but this was another match limited by the time. Then again these two have never had the chemistry that people expected from them. Granted that could be due to the fact that big power wrestlers like this ALMOST NEVER WORK WELL TOGETHER but people want to see it anyway for reasons I’ll never understand.

Team Roode – 2

Team Carter – 2

Team Hardy – 1

Team Young – 1

Josh thinks that leaderboard looks like Tiger Woods and Rory McIlroy on top of a golf tournament. I’d ask what that means but I’m sure it’s just me being an internet nerd.

Tyrus vs. Gunner

I had forgotten Gunner was a thing. Gunner charges right at the monster to start as Josh talks about Tyrus always being in the gym. I think he meant Gunner but who am I to doubt Josh Matthews? Tyrus slams him down and puts on a bearhug. Announcers’ topic: celebrities who Tyrus has worked for as a bodyguard, including Pete “Marinovich”.

I think Josh meant Maravich but…..dang he’s said so many stupid things tonight that I’m running out of insults. Gunner’s powerslam fails and it’s back to the bearhug. Josh keeps up his stupid namedropping and Gunner finally slams him. Josh: “Like when Hogan slammed Andre.” Not that it matters as the spike to the throat gives Tyrus the pin. Josh: “If Tyrus had been in Ford’s Theater that night, President Lincoln wouldn’t have been assassinated.” JB: “Yeah but he would be really old.”

Rating: D-. Another bad match as Josh has gone from annoying to obnoxious on commentary. I mean…..dang he sounds stupid with so many of the things he says. The commentary on these shows have always been a disaster and that’s the case here too. The match was bad again because they don’t have time to do anything and clearly don’t care in the slightest.

Team Carter – 3

Team Roode – 2

Team Young – 1

Team Hardy – 1

Taryn says she’s ready to compete like a champion.

Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

Taryn grabs a headlock and headscissors to start as they seem to actually be trying more than anyone has in the last few matches. Gail gets up and sends her face first into the buckle, which Josh says we can experience by running into a tree backwards. Both women crash out to the floor as Josh talks about subliminal messages based on the IMPACT ring skirts. They can’t even afford a ONE NIGHT ONLY ring skirt to make this seem a bit more important? I mean, it looks like the least important show ever so it can’t be that difficult.

Now we debate whether counting for a DQ should count towards a countout as Taryn grabs a half crab. The silence from the crowd here is borderline eerie. Josh: “What’d you have for lunch today?” Taryn’s middle rope clothesline gets two as Josh writes the foreword to JB’s book. Gail misses a charge and hits the floor again but Russian legsweeps Taryn into the barricade. You would think she would be smarter than that, being a WRESTLER and all. Back in and Taryn fires off some clotheslines, showing some of the better fire all night. Gail ducks a high cross body though and counters the Taryn Cutter into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C+. Maybe it’s Taryn being gorgeous, maybe it’s the idea of Jeremy Borash book actually sounding appealing or maybe it’s the effort put in here for a change but this was one of the more entertaining matches on the show so far. Of course that’s on a sliding scale because this show is another disaster that is clearly just here to fill in a slow but take what you can get.

Team Carter – 3

Team Roode – 2

Team Hardy – 2

Team Young – 1

Roode promises he’ll win the captains match.

Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

One fall to a finish and no tags to start which makes things even better. Josh incorrectly says Team Young is mathematically eliminated from going to the finals as everyone goes after Eric in the corner. Carter and Young are sent to the floor, leaving Roode to work on Hardy’s arm. The taping schedule becomes an issue again here as Josh goes on a rant about how Carter should be World Champion already.

Carter comes back in and switches places with Roode, leaving Josh to insult JB for trying to be British. A belly to belly gets Eric a two count on Hardy and Josh freaks out that Carter is bleeding. With Roode still nowhere to be seen, Carter and Young start arguing over who is going to pin Hardy. In other words, it’s the same uninspired stuff you’ve seen every single time you watch a multi-man match.

Roode comes back in with some running clotheslines but Carter breaks up the comeback. Hardy breaks up a piledriver attempt from Young so Eric piledrives Roode instead. Back up and Eric bites Hardy’s head, actually not drawing any jokes from Josh. With Roode and Carter fighting on the floor, Hardy hits a quick Twist of Fate to pin Young.

Rating: C. The star power helped but this was every multi-man match you’ve seen in a very long time. Hardy going to the finals was pretty obvious and at least the fans reacted a little bit for the pin. Young losing is almost always a good thing to see as well but this was just a dull match that has been covered to death already.

Team Carter – 3

Team Hardy – 3

Team Roode – 2

Team Young – 1

Carter beats Hardy down post match.

Long recap of the whole show thus far.

Team Hardy vs. Team Carter

Jeff Hardy, Rockstar Spud, Davey Richards, Gail Kim, Crazzy Steve, Gunner

Ethan Carter III, Tyrus, Robbie E., Jesse Godderz, James Storm, Awesome Kong

Survivor Series rules, Storm has Khoya with him and Carter has written HARDY on the bandage over his head. The bell rings but Team Carter is still huddling, allowing Khoya to slip Storm a weapon. Hardy and Carter start things off so Carter tags out to Robbie before any contact. That’s another idea that we’ve seen a hundred times and it’s just as tired as it’s always been.

One shot sends Robbie off to Godderz for a tag as we’re already two minutes into this. Gunner comes in and we finally get a lockup. One shoulder sends Jesse bailing to the corner and it’s off to Carter. That goes nowhere either and it’s off to Tyrus because we didn’t see enough of this match earlier. Just like earlier, Tyrus takes him into the corner and it’s off to Storm……who tags Kong in fifteen seconds later.

Before she can even get both feet in the ring, Jesse tags himself back in. Oh and how lucky we are as we get to see Steve. Wristlocks are exchanged and Steve mostly headscissors him over, giving him the move of the match so far. Now it’s off to Richards vs. Tyrus and FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY STEVE COMES BACK IN AGAIN. Just freaking wrestle already! Thankfully Tyrus spikes Steve down for the first elimination. Gail comes in and says she wants Kong.

We get the Knockouts showdown and things are instantly more interesting as they do the same stuff they’ve done a dozen times. Kong gets dropkicked to the floor and they brawl up towards the stage for a double countout. It’s Robbie vs. Davey with Richards scoring a modified Crossface for the submission in less than a minute. Jesse comes in and gets headbutted by Gunner and Davey.

A slingshot suplex from Gunner brings in Spud, who is quickly gorilla pressed (read as Jesse lifts him up and moves his arms a bit) about fifteen times in a row, only to have Spud roll him up for the pin. Tyrus comes in for a head vice and the submission from Spud, followed by Hardy rolling Tyrus up for another pin. As you might expect, Josh doesn’t get that Spud was knocked out and thought he tagged Hardy despite not being within ten feet of him. Those eliminations all came in about thirty seconds.

We’re down to Hardy, Davey and Gunner vs. Storm and Carter. Gunner starts working on Storm’s shoulder but Storm hits a quick Last Call to tie things up. Davey rolls Storm up for two and the kickout sends him head first into whatever Khoya had slipped to Carter, giving Ethan another elimination. It’s Hardy vs. Storm/Carter with Jeff pounding away on the captain in the corner.

The Whisper in the Wind mostly misses Storm so Ethan drops Jeff again. Ethan pops up and hits Hardy with the big metal brace on his arm for a DQ elimination. Storm only gets two but he superkicks Jeff on top. It doesn’t knock Jeff out though as he throws Storm down, kicks Khoya away, and drops the Swanton for the pin and the victory.

Rating: D-. As you might have expected, TNA screwed this part up too as they went through eleven eliminations in the span of just over ten minutes because they had to keep up that stupid “no you’re it” nonsense to start. This was yet another uninteresting match with little drama and nothing I’m ever going to remember. Boring stuff, as I think all the fans knew were coming.

As soon as the pin goes down, Josh shouts about how Ethan wasn’t pinned because that’s the most important thing on the show.

The trophy presentation and a recap video wrap things up.

Overall Rating: F-. I know we talk about JBL, Cole and the rest of the WWE announcers being annoying and they’re valid complaints. However, Josh Matthews makes them seem like the patron saints of broadcasting. I cannot remember a time where I sat through a wrestling show wanting to scream at an announcer for all of the stupid, unprofessional, self serving, not funny and downright horrendous things he spent this show going on about.

I get that TNA doesn’t care about these shows, but at least the drivel that the commentators spew serves some purpose other than the amusement of one person. Matthews is following in Tazz’s footsteps on these shows and it’s somehow making them even worse. The wrestling was totally uninspired and dull but Matthews’ commentary made it that much harder to sit through, which continues to make these things the most grueling shows I’ve ever had to sit through. Act like professionals already and maybe you won’t keep getting bounced from one network to another. Or just fire Josh already.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder – July 26, 2000: More Painful Than A Shovel To The Head

Thunder
Date: July 26, 2000
Location: Wheeling Civic Center, Wheeling, West Virginia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Mark Madden

The Russo style is back in full force, meaning it’s time for this show to fall through the floor all over again. We’re coming up on New Blood Rising and other than the main event, it’s hard to say what kind of nonsense is going to take place there. These shows are starting to make less and less sense every week but you have to expect that when a nitwit is on top. Let’s get to it.

The Cat is standing by his limo when the Jung Dragons attack, this time with a sledgehammer. Yang smashes the window by mistake and Smooth the limo driver freaks out. Cat gives him a 3-1 match later tonight.

3 Count vs. Juventud Guerrera/Rey Mysterio

Evan is out with a knee injury but before we get going, Tank wants a dance contest against Konnan and Disco. It’s just a ruse though and the fight is on quickly. Shannon gets two on Rey off a springboard cross body but here are the Jung Dragons to interfere. We settle down to Juvy…..possibly countering a German suplex. He was supposed to flip over and land on his feet but didn’t get all the way over, making it unclear if he got hurt or not.

Rey springboards in with a clothesline for two as Tony talks about Latino style being very hot in popular music. Shannon drops Rey with a sleeper drop for two but the Animals come back with something like What’s Up, only with a legdrop instead of a headbutt. Everything breaks down and a Samoan drop/neckbreaker combination gets two on Rey, only to have Shannon take the Juvy Driver and 450 for the pin.

Rating: C+. So we have these two fun teams but we’re getting people like the Perfect Event in the title match. The Animals may be incredibly annoying but at the same time they can still go this well in the ring. On top of that, why are none of these guys going after the Cruiserweight Title? Why are we stuck with the nonsense we’ve had to see for all these months? We’ll go with “because WCW” and move on.

Here’s Booker T. with something to say. He doesn’t like Goldberg but after Monday he has to respect him. However, Goldberg needs to save the trauma (yes trauma) for his mama. These are his people here and he’ll die in this ring to defend his title. Cue Jeff Jarrett to say he wants a lights out, unsanctioned match against Booker tonight with the title NOT on the line to protect Cat’s pay per view main event. The fight is on and Tony says there’s no holding them back as security holds them back. So we have Goldberg, Scott Steiner and even Kevin Nash waiting to challenge Booker but we’re getting Jeff Jarrett? Really?

Post break Cat makes the match but threatens to beat up Booker and Jarrett if they don’t calm down.

Miss Hancock wants to arm wrestle Major Gunns tonight.

The Artist vs. Skip Over

That would be Elix Skipper and for reasons I’ve never been able to explain, I’ve always been a big fan. Artist superkicks him at the bell as Tenay calls Skip part of the new blood (not the New Blood of course). Over spin kicks Artist in the face and hits a nice looking missile dropkick. Artist grabs a northern lights suplex for two of his own, followed by an Angle Slam.

Since this is a meaningless match against a rookie, Artist needs a chair. Skip baseball slides it into his face but Artist pops right back up. Paisley tries to hand him the chair but Kwee Wee comes out to lure her away. So much for that idea. Back in the ring, the chair has disappeared and Over takes Artist down with a springboard spinwheel kick. The Overdrive (That ridiculous spinning Fameasser thing. I’m still not sure how that’s supposed to be a finishing move.) gives Over the upset.

Rating: D+. Fun little match here but as usual it’s bogged down by all the other stuff going on at the same time. The Paisley/Kwee Wee stuff needs to go somewhere already. Not that it’s been a long, drawn out story but more along the lines of the faster that happens, the faster we can get Artist off TV.

MIA is in the back and Gene looks at Major Gunns’ chest. See it’s funny because he’s old.

Judy Bagwell drags Buff Bagwell away by the ear so they can go find the Cat. I guess this is supposed to be funny too.

M.I. Smooth vs. Jung Dragons

As usual, Mark keeps saying “last night” to refer to Monday, as in two days earlier. During the entrances, Tony says Goldberg can’t make his scheduled appearance. Instead: Lance Storm and Mike Awesome. Oh I’m sure the fans are going to be thrilled. Like all three of them who show up. Smooth is in a shirt and tie and the Dragons stomp him down for three straight near falls. Jamie and Kaz are sent to the floor, leaving Smooth to powerslam and full nelson bomb Jamie for the pin.

So let’s stop for a second here and look at what we’re supposed to just accept here: Smooth, a non-wrestler (yes I know he was Ice Train but that’s never mentioned here) just happened to debut here, wore street clothes, had theme music, knew wrestling moves, and beat a team in a featured pay per view match completely clean in under two minutes.

We’re supposed to just go with this and then pay to see the Dragons, who are more guys who should be in the Cruiserweight Title hunt, at New Blood Rising. You can blame a lot of things for WCW going under, but this is the kind of thing that really should be near the top of the list. These things happened WAY too often around here and the fans are just supposed to go with them. At some point the fans are going to get tired of having their intelligence insulted and watch something else. WCW reached that point a long time ago and it’s a big reason why they’re not around today.

The Bagwells come into Cat’s office and Judy says she can be the solution to the ratings problem. Cat gives her the match she wants, whatever that is. Another reason this company is a mess right now: middle aged women coming in off the street and talking about ratings like they’re something people discuss in casual conversation. I write about wrestling for a living and I barely discuss ratings with my wrestling friends, let alone some random person I strike up a chat with at Wal-Mart. As usual, Russo and Ferrara or whoever is writing this show has no idea how normal people talk in real life and it sounds really awkward.

It’s time for arm wrestling and I’ll let you fill in most of the details here. Hancock is in a red shirt here and takes off the jacket for a change. David Flair is guest referee for the sake of comedy and makes sure to cheat to help Hancock win. Gunns freaks out so Hancock sprays hairspray in her face. There goes Gunns’ top but the Wall, now in MIA gear, comes out to chokeslam Flair. He talks to the blind Gunns and says “it’s me, it’s me” (that D-O-Double G?) to calm her down.

Kanyon says he needs to find a Kimberly. Judy is feeling the BANG tonight though.

The MIA rename the Wall as A-Wall (that’s actually kind of clever) and shave his head.

Muta and Vampiro have beaten down Kronik.

Great Muta/Vampiro vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

This is the result of Muta and Vampiro issuing an open challenge. O’Haire starts with Muta and takes him down with a dropkick off those long legs of his. Vampiro and Jindrak fight on the floor before coming in, which I guess counts as a double tag in this match. Jindrak kicks him in the face and brings Sean back in for a clothesline.

It’s already back to Jindrak so Muta comes in and kicks him a few times before officially coming in off the tag. The refereeing sucks around here. The heels pound away on Jindrak for a bit until he snaps off a powerslam and tags in Sean to clean house. Muta will have none of that and snaps off a dragon screw legwhip before twisting on the knee to make Sean tap. Too short to rate but it was energetic while it lasted.

Post match Demon comes out to help with the beatdown but Kronik makes the save and hurts people.

Judy puts Buff in a room and tells him to stay there. What in the world did Buff do to deserve this story?

Big Vito wants a rematch with Lance Storm.

Judy Bagwell vs. Kanyon

After Judy comes out to Buff’s pyro and Madden reminds us that she used to be a World Tag Team Champion (gah), Kanyon says he’s Diamond Cut her already. Tonight though, it’s going to be the Kanyon Cutter so Judy needs to leave before this gets bad. The match starts and it’s a bunch of shoving and slapping until Kanyon grabs her for the Kanyon Cutter. This brings out Buff, who is told to stay in the aisle or his mom gets hurt. Kanyon wants a match at New Blood Rising and if Judy wins, she’s Kanyon’s Kimberly. Buff agrees and the camera cuts away as Kanyon lays her out (thanks to TBS).

Shane Douglas and Torrie Wilson talk about the G-rated tape from Monday.

Kidman has another tape.

Kanyon is driving away, gets out and Kanyon Cuts a guard, then leaves. Funniest thing on the show by about a mile so far.

Here are Torrie and Shane with Torrie being annoyed at Kidman for what he did on Monday. Torrie: “Do you know what kind of a position you put me in?” Shane says play the new tape and it’s the two of them sitting on a bed. Shane apologizes over and over again for “performance issues” and they storm out of the ring.

Storm says he’ll give Vito a Hardcore Title match with no weapons allowed.

Shane leaves to get some air when Kidman comes up to laugh at Torrie. This is of course stupid and Shane beats Kidman down.

Hardcore Title: Lance Storm vs. Big Vito

Vito is challenging and jumps Storm during O Canada, sending Madden into hysterics again. The usual low level offense sends Storm outside and it’s a superkick and kind of fall away slam for two on the champ. A good looking top rope elbow gets two for Vito and the referee gets bumped, allowing Storm to hit Vito with a chair for two. Vito comes right back with a German suplex and clothesline but Storm calmly grabs the Maple Leaf for the submission to retain. Again too short to rate but Vito comes off as a guy who tries when he’s out there.

Awesome runs in and lays out Storm.

Just like last week with Nash, here’s a sitdown interview with Goldberg. First up is Hall blaming Goldberg for Scott Hall being gone but Goldberg really doesn’t care what Nash says. The Outsiders wanted Goldberg on their side because they knew he was going to be a big deal. Nash has no appreciation for the fans but Goldberg does everything he does for the fans. As a heel remember. Hudson: “For the last few months you’ve played the heel for World Championship Wrestling.” Goldberg says he hasn’t been comfortable with it because that’s not who he is.

Someone thought turning him heel was a good idea that might help the ratings but it’s totally against what Goldberg is. With his eyes bugging out but in the same voice, Goldberg wants to refute what Nash said last week. The last thing he thought he was going to do was be a wrestler because he wanted to be a pro football player. Now he has a chance to give back to the fans. He can shake a sick kid’s hand and give them a smile which is worth more than anything else he could get. Goldberg: “Nash is right. I don’t love this sport.”

Hudson calls the work with the kids paying his dues. Goldberg says Nash has “paid his dues” for fifteen years and he won’t ever be in the spot Goldberg reached in three years. Amen brother. Goldberg brings up Nash breaking the Streak two weeks after Nash got on the booking committee. Hudson brings up the three way at New Blood Rising and Goldberg says his immediate goal is to make Nash suffer for all the damage Nash has done to his career.

What Goldberg is doing right now is taking one for the team instead of what he wants to be doing. When a promoter is looking at a card, he doesn’t care about paying dues because it’s all about who is going to draw the most money. All it means is that he’s the right character and the right person to see this through. Hall and Nash didn’t pop the business like he and Hogan did. Hogan, Flair and Arn Anderson made this business what it is today. I love Arn but that’s more of a stretch than I can handle.

The only way Nash is winning in Vancouver is to put himself back on that booking committee because Goldberg is going to kill him. Nash saying he doesn’t care what the bookers say sounds like a challenge because Nash can’t run away on those old knees of his. Goldberg recommends ice and Advil because Nash is going to need them. That wraps things up with no mention of Booker T. and Monday’s match whatsoever.

….WOW. Just like last week, this would have been one heck of a shoot interview. If this had been from RF Video or something like that, it would be really entertaining to listen to. The problem is THIS IS A MAJOR WRESTLING SHOW. Think back with me to CM Punk’s Pipe Bomb. Punk ranted about how Cena was just an act and how he was being held back, but it was all building to a wrestling match, not some scripted deal where they may or may not do what the bookers (more on that in a second) told them to do.

This brings us to the big problem that was there last week: how many fans knew what was going on? Serious question: how many fans watching this heard the word “booker” and thought they were talking about Booker T.? I know it sounds stupid today but is it really that much of a stretch?

This is more of Russo trying to make himself sound smart and thinking that EVERYONE is on Meltzer’s mailing list in July 2000 because he reads that stuff every five minutes. This probably went over the heads of 98% of fans and it’s really annoying to sit through these ten minute interviews to set up a match that is going to suck because Nash is involved and can barely do anything. But hey, they’re WORKING US and that’s what matters, even if no one but them cares.

Madden: “So no matter what the creative committee tells Nash, Goldberg and Steiner, they’re just going to do what they want?” Oh screw off WCW. Good grief man. Like I said: Punk vs. Cena came together in a wrestling match, not some thing where they were going off script. Mainly because THEY NEVER SAID THEY HAD A SCRIPT because that’s the stupidest thing you can do in a wrestling promotion.

Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarrett

Non-title and anything goes. Jeff has a Sting style trench coat on for no logical reason. Cat is on commentary and says he’s not Commissioner at this point, though he insists Madden call him Commissioner. This is billed as a Bunkhouse Brawl because we’re all cowboys who love to ride horses. They brawl into the crowd to start with Booker in control until Jeff hits him in the head with a shovel. Tony tries to call it but Cat cuts him off to announce Sting vs. Booker T. for the title on Monday.

Amazingly enough Booker isn’t dead after BEING HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A SHOVEL so Jeff puts him in a wheelbarrow and rams him into the barricade. Back in and Booker chokes with a bullrope but Jeff hits him in the face with….something made of metal. A middle rope guitar shot misses (Tony: “This pales in comparison to being hit in the head with a shovel.” I actually stopped the video and shouted “WHAT???” at the screen when Tony said that. Ignoring that it’s a breakaway guitar, METAL IS A LOT HARDER THAN WOOD YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!) but Jeff starts choking with the bullrope.

Cat stays on his ratings kick as Jeff chokes Booker with a rope for two arm drops. Booker fights up and hits the spinning forearm as Tony admits that Booker is a superhero. The ax kick and a Spinarooni connect but Jeff guitars the bad knee and puts on the Figure Four with Booker hanging over the apron. Booker passes out from the pain. Well in theory at least as he was still conscious and didn’t say he gave up but the referee stopped it anyway.

Rating: D. It’s not often in my life as a fan that I’m disgusted by how stupid something is but that’s what happened here. This was giving away what wasn’t going to be an interesting main event in the first place and having them use a bunch of weapons before we get the boring version in a few weeks. Oh and make sure the champion loses because that’s going to draw interest in the rematch.

I looked at Jeff after the match and my goodness the level of not caring went through the roof. He’s just so uninteresting in this role and unfortunately we’re stuck because Russo, the undisputed king of insanity and over the top booking, thinks the most generic heel in forever is worth pushing on top.

Overall Rating: F. Let me make this clear: there was good stuff on this show. The opener was fun and some of the Kanyon stuff was amusing. If you take those parts on their own, you would have had a pretty entertaining show and WCW would have come off looking a lot stronger than they did coming into this week. However, there was a lot of other stuff this week too.

I know I often talk about WCW acting like its fans are stupid. However, in this case, it felt worse than ever. This actually felt like they wanted me to be angry at them and walk off, never to watch again. Between the Goldberg shoot, a shovel to the head not putting someone down for more than twenty seconds, Kanyon suddenly wanting Judy Bagwell as his valet, everyone (and their mother in this case) talking about ratings and a man having performance issues, I felt like I was watching the kind of show that non-wrestling fans pretend all wrestling is to make fun of it.

That’s what Thunder and WCW as a whole have become: juvenile, unfunny people making fun of wrestling because they want to laugh instead of trying to take this seriously. This felt like a parody of a wrestling promotion but it still wasn’t funny. What is there on here that makes me want to come back? I’m not seeing it anywhere and I really don’t want to see where things go from here.

It’s not funny anymore and I don’t know why people would think it’s going to get any better from here on out. More than anything else, that makes me sad, because it feels like the people in charge are glad it’s going under because it makes them feel better about whatever is going on in their lives. This really is a case of people treating this place like a playground and not caring at all what happens to anyone as long as they get a good laugh at our expense. Enjoy what you’re getting WCW, because this is all on you.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




I’m Not Sure What Happened

The site was gone all Saturday and then just randomly came back up really late Saturday night.  I have no idea how it’s back as I didn’t do anything to it but it’s back for now.  I can’t guarantee it won’t go down again but I’ll have a better idea of how to get it fixed by then.  Thank you for your patience.

 

KB




Ring of Honor – December 16, 2015: The Almost Final Battle

Ring of Honor
Date: December 16, 2015
Location: Tennessee State Fair Grounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Kevin Kelly

It’s the go home show for Final Battle but the complicated TV schedule would suggest that a lot of this isn’t going to be focused on the pay per view main events. That being said, Ring of Honor has been more than entertaining enough lately and I’ve been looking forward to these shows more and more lately. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Adam Cole vs. Corey Hollis

Unfortunately no Maria with Cole. The announcers don’t try to hide the fact that this is going to be a glorified squash. Cole stomps him down in the corner to start and does his signature pose. The AA onto the knee sends Hollis into the corner again and a Shining Wizard breaks up a comeback.

Hollis tries a springboard and is quickly knocked outside for his efforts. Back in and Cole misses a superkick and has his suplex countered into a Stunner of all things. Sean O’Haire’s Widowmaker (kind of a fireman’s carry into a spinebuster) but Cole stops him dead with a superkick. A brainbuster onto the knee gives Cole the pin at 4:29.

Rating: C-. This was much more entertaining than I was expecting as they kept it moving but also gave Hollis enough offense to keep this from being a total squash. Cole continues to be probably the most well rounded performer in ROH and that’s a good choice for a showcase match like this one.

Post match we get a quick Story Time with Adam Cole where Kyle O’Reilly is guaranteed to be destroyed.

The Young Bucks vs. the All Night Express vs. the Briscoes for the #1 contendership is confirmed for Final Battle.

War Machine vs. Washington Bullets

The Bullets are Jon and Trey Williams, who decide it’s a good idea to not shake hands with the big bearded monsters about to kill them. Hanson clotheslines both of them down and it’s off to Rowe to German suplex Trey. Path of Resistance sets up Fallout for the pin on Jon at 1:33. Total squash and War Machine looked awesome.

Here’s former referee Mike Posey as a rapper and a five person posse. The fans sound stunned as he “raps” about Dalton Castle at a level equal to PG-13 from the Nation of Domination days.

Dalton Castle vs. Mike Posey

Posey tries to jump Dalton before the bell and is easily suplexed for his efforts. Some headbutts have Posey in trouble and Dalton goes after the posse to kill some time. The distraction doesn’t work as Castle belly to bellys him out to the floor, setting up the Bang A Rang for the pin at 2:50.

Post match Castle describes himself as the Aurora Borealis of the ring and says he’s as majestic as they come. Castle: “Isn’t that right Planet Peacock?” He wants Silas Young out here right now but gets the Boys instead. It’s just a distraction though, allowing Young to sneak up behind Castle for a beating.

Here’s Jerry Lynn for a special appearance. He talks about everyone calling him as he went through a recent surgery and was overwhelmed by all the support. We quickly move on to the upcoming World Title match and Lynn can’t pick a winner. Lynn has traveled the roads with both guys and he sees it as totally even. Kelly directly asks him but here’s the House of Truth to interrupt.

Lethal accuses Lynn of being too old and out of touch so Jerry picks AJ. That’s enough for Jay so he takes off his shirt but Jerry says Jay beating him up would hurt Lethal’s parents. Lethal goes on a Flair style rant about how great he is and how much he’s done this year. He says he is professional wrestling and the House of Truth walks out. I’m not a big Lethal fan but he ran circles around the pretty bad Lynn out there.

Video on Moose vs. Michael Elgin.

Roppangi Vice vs. ACH/Matt Sydal

Alex Shelley is on commentary. Sydal and Romero get things going with Matt working on the arm. Romero lands on his feet out of a monkey flip but one shot to the face sends him crawling over to Trent. That means a double tag and Trent takes over with some chops. ACH flips around a lot and dropkicks Trent to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Sydal in a Romero Octopus hold. A regular headlock doesn’t work all that well and it’s a hot tag to ACH as things speed way up. Trent gets kicked in the face to put him on the floor, setting up the Jordan flip dive. Back in and a delayed German gets two on Romero but Vice comes back with a string of knees to ACH’s head for two. Standing Sliced Bread #2 drops Sydal but ACH kicks Romero in the face to put all four down.

Romero goes up to but gets kicked in the head, setting up a quick hurricanrana from Sydal. ACH takes Romero to the floor but Sydal’s shooting star hits Trent’s knees. Trent’s running knee gets two on Matt and all four are back in. Romero distracts Trent to break up his kneeling piledriver and Code Red (a sunset bomb) is enough to give Sydal the pin at 11:31.

Rating: C. This just isn’t my kind of match. They’re flying around a lot and hitting (moderately) big spots but there’s little flow to it and the ending is about who hits the last spot. I’m not a fan of this style though and this didn’t change my mind. It’s certainly not the worst but I almost never have any reaction to this style.

One more run down of the card ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one as much as it was almost all a big preview for next week’s major show but there was nothing that made me want to see Final Battle more. Lynn’s promo with Lethal was one sided and the wrestling ranged from squashes to nothing interesting. The card was almost entirely set up already though so this was just a bonus.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




I’m Going To Wrestlemania

Along with Raw, Takeover and Axxess when the tickets are available.  Tickets have been purchased for the wife and I.  She’s never been so this is going to be a big moment for her.




Smackdown – December 17, 2015: They Couldn’t Be This Stupid

Smackdown
Date: December 17, 2015
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Booker T., Rich Brennan

It’s kind of amazing to see how fast things have gone from boring to a lot more entertaining in the span of a few days. Going into Sunday’s pay per view, things were ice cold and had nowhere to go but up. Now things are hot again with a new World Champion in Roman Reigns as we’ve hit the road to the Royal Rumble running. Let’s get to it.

Of course we start with a recap of Reigns beating down HHH on Sunday, setting up his World Title win on Monday night to really stick it to the Authority again.

Here’s Reigns to kick things off. Reigns talked about how big a deal Monday was but what made it really special was doing it on his daughter’s birthday. That meant he could take it home and show his family what he was working for. However, his days in WWE are probably numbered after he speared HHH and Superman punched Vince McMahon (Lawler: “WOO HOO!”). The repercussions won’t come until Monday because this is Smackdown. So we’ve finally reached the point where the champion is admitting that nothing happens on Smackdown.

Here’s Sheamus to interrupt. He’s happy that Reigns got his moment and this time he even lasted more than 5:15. It won’t be lasting much longer though because that title is coming back around his waist. Reigns says anytime fella but Sheamus brings up all the people Reigns has hurt over the last few days. The Authority has launched an official investigation and Reigns is on the sidelines, meaning he can’t fight or even appear on WWE TV. Wait are they ripping off TNA’s stupid storyline now??? Sheamus asks him to leave right now but Reigns says come make him. Security tries instead and only earn themselves a beating.

Ryback vs. Alberto Del Rio

Say it with me: non-title, though in this case it makes a bit more sense as Ryback lost on Sunday. They actually start with some amateur stuff as Ryback takes him to the mat and works on a wristlock. Del Rio tries some right hands in the corner and has to escape a powerbomb attempt.

They botch what looked to be the Thesz press so Ryback throws him down with a gorilla press instead. Ryback gets a bit too cocky though and Del Rio grabs the armbreaker over the ropes to take over. We take a break and come back with Del Rio hitting the chinlock. A FEED ME MORE chant gets Ryback to his feet and a slingshot belly to back suplex breaks the hold.

The Warrior splash gets no cover for some reason but the middle rope dropkick gets Ryback two. He’s getting better at that move. The Meathook misses and Del Rio grabs a German suplex for two of his own. Ryback loads up the Shell Shock but here’s the League (including Barrett) for a distraction. Del Rio grabs the armbreaker for the submission at 10:37.

Rating: C-. This was the same standard trading of spots that we’ve seen from these two for weeks if not months now. Ryback vs. the League could be interesting and gives both of them something to do. The League always came off like a midcard stable more than a big deal and a feud with Ryback and friends would seem a lot more up their alley.

The League beats Ryback down post match.

Summer Rae is doing Tyler Breeze’s hair as he talks about facing Titus Uggo Neil later. Titus is going to need those millions of dollars for reconstructive surgery on his face. For some reason Goldust is watching and sneaks up on them. This is where Tyler has already fallen to? Summer sprays hairspray at Goldust to get him to leave.

Tyler Breeze vs. Titus O’Neil

Titus charges into raised boots to start as Lawler asks Summer for a grape. Breeze hammers away in the corner and here’s Goldust to take pictures with Summer against her will. Titus comes back with a big boot to the face followed by the throwaway slam. Lawler declares hijinks in the VIP section as Goldust gets up for a picture with Tyler. The Clash of the Titus gives O’Neil the pin at 2:51.

We look at Kevin Owens beating up Dean Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler on Monday.

Ambrose doesn’t think much of Owens’ plans to put him in an asylum in order to get the Intercontinental Title back. Owens can powerbomb him as many times as he wants because Ambrose will scrape himself up and mail himself to Owens for another fight. Being Intercontinental Champion means being willing to fight every day of the year and Owens is going to need a better plan than to drive Dean crazy.

Stills of the tables match on Sunday and the extreme rules match on Monday.

Bray Wyatt talks about going to the extreme not being enough. Harper says pain is temporary but fear lasts forever. Rowan talks about how you can search for the light but all you’ll find is darkness. Strowman finds solace in the muffled screams of those who take their last breaths in his arm. The Family doesn’t obey this world’s rules so sleep with one eye open and know that they are everywhere. They cannot stop so run.

New Day vs. Lucha Dragons

Non-title with Big E. on the floor. Before the match, Woods and Big E. blame jealousy for the Usos and Dragons’ denial of friendship on Monday. We get a unicorn horn and Kofi declares themselves fashion icons. The celebration from Sunday are for them and them alone though, which the fans just don’t seem to get.

Woods and Kalisto get things going with the masked man armdragging Woods to the mat. Cara slams Kalisto onto Woods and it’s time to work on the arm. Big E. is giving Booker lines to read to praise New Day, referring to them by such monikers as the gaggle of groove. Cara monkey flips Kalisto into the 450 as this is very one sided so far. Woods finally forearms Kalisto out to the floor and we take a quick break.

Back with the Unicorn Stampede on Kalisto as Big E. can’t play the trombone. A slingshot stomp gets two for Kofi and he slows things down by cranking on Kalisto’s arms. As Lawler talks about Woods’ boots being curled up like the Iron Sheik’s, Kalisto gets two off a middle rope cross body. Big E. breaks up the hot tag though and it’s time for everyone to dance. Cara uses the distraction to knock Woods off the apron and onto Big E., allowing Kalisto to roll up a shocked Kofi for the pin at 11:44.

Rating: C. Mostly standard formula tag match here which is all you need more often than not. It makes sense to have the Dragons and the Usos gets individual title shots now but I’m still from the generation where you have singles matches to build up to a big multi-team gimmick match. Not in modern wrestling though, but at least this match was fine.

Ziggler talks about being collateral damage for years now and how sick he is of everyone treating him like the guy who keeps getting so close but never pulls it off. No one can follow him though because he gives it everything he’s got every single night. Owens will learn that tonight. I’d buy this if I hadn’t heard it a dozen times.

Brie Bella vs. Becky Lynch

Another Twitter feud due to Brie yelling at Becky for getting a submission on Monday due to Ric Flair interfering. I still have no idea if Brie is a face or a heel. Team BAD is in the front row again, having bought tickets to watch one match and then leave like so many other fans do. The fans want Sasha as Becky gets kicked to the floor to start. We hit a chinlock on Becky but here’s Charlotte to cheer her on. The middle rope dropkick sets up the BRIE MODE knee for a near fall. The Bella Buster is broken up and Charlotte trips Brie down (with Becky seeing her), setting up the Disarm-Her for the tap at 2:40.

After a break, Becky isn’t happy with the way they’re winning lately. Becky thinks Charlotte believes Becky can’t win without her.

Kevin Owens doesn’t care about Ziggler wanting revenge because he wants his Intercontinental Title back. Just like the cockroach that he is, Ambrose can survive almost anything but he can’t survive Kevin Owens. As for Ziggler, instead of going to an asylum, he’s going to the hospital tonight.

New Day will defend against the Lucha Dragons on Tuesday’s live Smackdown.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens

Owens stomps him down and throws him out of the corner for early control. An elbow drops Ziggler again and they head outside where Ziggler sends him into the barricade. Back from a break with Owens slapping on a chinlock and demanding that the referee ASK HIM. The backsplash gets two and we hit a chinlock with a knee in Ziggler’s back. As usual, the announcers keep calling Owens a prize fighter, suggesting that he’s not doing the same thing as EVERYONE ELSE IN THE COMPANY.

Back up and Ziggler avoids a shoulder in the corner, sending Owens into the post. Dolph makes his comeback with the exact same stuff he always makes his comeback with until Owens gets two off a belly to belly. A German suplex and the Cannonball get two each on Ziggler but he holds the ropes to avoid the Pop Up Powerbomb. The superkick gets two on Owens (with a nice delay between two and three) but he backdrops Dolph out to the floor for a nice crash. Ziggler is holding his shoulder so Owens throws him over the announcers’ table for the DQ at 13:20.

Rating: C+. This was more storyline advancement than a match which is a good idea this early into Owens’ new character. I’m liking the idea of Owens being all violent and beating people up until he gets his title back. Basically you build him up as an unstoppable monster who runs over everyone until the one that got away is the only one left. Simple story that’s going to work every time.

Ziggler fights back but gets shoved into the steps. Ambrose runs out for the save and Owens runs from the threat of Dirty Deeds, only to superkick Ziggler for a consolation prize. Ambrose tries to help Dolph up and eats a superkick of his own. Owens smiles at everything to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Totally run of the mill Smackdown here with watchable wrestling and some story advancement. At least this is the last one for a little while as we have the live show on Tuesday and probably something special for New Year’s Eve, followed by the USA debut. As for this show though, if they actually take Roman off the air and don’t have him do guerrilla style attacks or something like that, I’ve lost the little hope this company gave me in the past week. They couldn’t be that stupid. Like, they couldn’t be.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Ryback – Cross armbreaker

Titus O’Neil b. Tyler Breeze – Clash of the Titus

Lucha Dragons b. New Day – Rollup to Kingston

Becky Lynch b. Brie Bella – Disarm-Her

Dolph Ziggler b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Owens threw him over the announcers’ table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




New Column: Let’s Talk About Final Battle

Well I talk but you get the idea.  Ok so I’m typing so maybe you don’t get the idea.

 

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-lets-talk-about-final-battle/46760/




Impact Wrestling – December 16, 2015: And You Thought WWE Pre-Shows Were Long

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 16, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

This is an interesting show as it’s the final episode of Impact to air on Destination America, putting to rest the question of what else they can air after the tournament matches are wrapped up until the debut on Pop. Tonight we’re getting a bunch of previews for the semi-finals along with a pair of non-tournament matches, which will be the first since September. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on the four semi-finalists (Lashley, Matt Hardy, Eric Young and Ethan Carter III) all wanting to be champion.

Recap of how the tournament came to be and Matt Hardy’s path back to the title. He introduces his match against Davey Richards from October 14, 2015. The match is clipped here but this is the full version of the review, which will be the case in every match repeated.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Matt Hardy vs. Davey Richards

So it’s Group Rockers. Davey takes him down to start and works on a leg lock but lets it go just as quickly. We get a chat from the round table discussion where Davey is pretty passive about the whole thing but Matt wants the title back. They head to the apron with Matt grabbing a quick Side Effect to send Davey to the floor.

Back in and Matt hooks a sleeper but Davey fights back with a jawbreaker to knock Matt to the floor, followed by a suicide dive. Josh: “Of course the ending to Bound For Glory has been trending for two weeks.” Back in and Davey fires off kicks until Matt grabs the Side Effect for two more. Matt dives into a kick to the ribs but Davey misses a top rope double stomp, setting up the Twist of Fate to give Matt the pin at 9:06.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with Matt doing his normal stuff and Davey doing all of his kicks. Matt would have been fine for a token title reign but giving him one in the spot they did it and the quick fallout are going to make it much more infamous than a feel good moment. You almost have to expect Matt to advance into the round of sixteen, likely winding up against Galloway or Carter down the line.

Matt talks about the rest of his matches so far and promises to give Eric Young an unfortunate Twist of Fate.

Group X-Division vs. Group Future 4

X-Division: Manik, Tigre Uno, Mandrews, DJZ

Future 4: Crimson, Jesse Godderz, Micah, Eli Drake

This is an :all-stars” match. DJZ and Micah finally start things off after a lot of debate between Future 4. A wristlock has Micah in trouble and it’s off to Mandrews as Josh talks about various cities representing in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania at the live show. Jesse comes in for a knee to Mandrews’ ribs but X-Division starts taking over with rotating shots to the arm.

Everything breaks down and X-Division suplexes Jesse and Micah down at the same time. Future 4 heads outside and that’s just a bad idea against a bunch of high fliers, setting up all the dives. Micah dives as well until Jesse takes Mandrews’ head off with a hard clothesline. Jesse teases a dive but stops to pose instead, as you might have expected. Manik dropkicks him to the floor and dives on the pile.

Mandrews gets broken up as well and it’s Drake tagging himself in to pound away instead of letting Jesse go for a cover. Future 4 starts taking turns on Mandrews with Crimson hitting a nice chokeslam. Drake tags himself in again and the argument (Josh: “It was like the Mega Powers exploding!”) allows Tigre to get the tag.

Crimson flips Drake off when he reaches for a tag and Jesse drops to the floor. Micah, who has history with Drake, walks away, leaving Drake on his own. Eli tries to leave but gets thrown back in by his partners, allowing Manik to kick him in the head. DJZ’s tornado DDT sets up Mandrews’ shooting star press for the pin at 10:04.

Rating: C-. This was a fine enough way to kill off ten minutes and I’m glad to see something aside from a tournament match. Future 4 turning on Drake made sense and it’s fine to see the X-Division guys working together. The match was nothing worth seeing but at least it was something different.

We look at Lashley’s path to the final four, including this match against Austin Aries on November 25, 2015.

Group Champions: Lashley vs. Austin Aries

Winner advances. Aries bounces off Lashley to start until a missile dropkick staggers Lashley a bit. That’s fine with Lashley as he throws Aries away and starts driving shoulders in the corner. Aries knees his way out of a delayed vertical suplex by knocking Lashley down to a knee but Lashley stands back up and suplexes him anyway. That is SCARY power.

Back from a break with Aries elbowing out of Lashley’s grip but getting caught in a belly to belly. The spear hits the post though and Aries follows up with a missile dropkick. Lashley slaps him out of the corner though and dead lifts him into a powerslam. I repeat my scary power line. The Last Chancery doesn’t get Aries anywhere so he goes with discus forearms. Lashley again powers out of the brainbuster and throws Aries over his head with a release German.

Aries avoids the spear but Lashley sidesteps the suicide dive. The match comes to a screeching halt as Aries is holding his arm with ninety seconds to go. Lashley finally clotheslines him down again as this thing JUST WON’T END. Aries grabs the Lash Chancery but Lashley makes the rope. Instead of standing around for the last thirty seconds, Aries tries a 450 but eats a spear to send Lashley on at 15:05.

Rating: B. At least it went out on a good match, even though Aries got stupid at the end after being smart most of the time. Lashley is the smart choice here since he actually works for TNA, but Aries was a nice surprise. I mean, I’m stupid for realizing he’s a surprise according to Josh but he’s a lot smarter than me after all.

We get some soundbytes about Lashley being incredibly dominant all year but now it’s a must win against Carter.

Now it’s time to follow EC3 around as he goes to the gym in Nashville. After seeing him lift a bit, Carter talks about how this whole World Title Series is nonsense as he should have been given the title with no hesitation. His last name hasn’t kept him undefeated and he won the Group of Death in the first round.

Bobby Roode vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Rockstar Spud

Elimination rules. Roode tags himself in to start against Spud but the Rockstar kicks him to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Spud rolling Edwards up for two before it’s off to Anderson. For some reason Spud mimes the microphone dropping down and gets clotheslined. Edwards comes back and counters the Underdog into a rollup to eliminate Spud.

Eddie goes takes down Anderson and gets two on Roode with a Backpack Stunner. Anderson tags himself in though, meaning Roode’s Crossface doesn’t count. Thankfully Anderson is smart enough to let Bobby keep the hold on as long as he can. Anderson kicks Roode outside and a Mic Check eliminates Edwards to get us down to two. Roode flips out of the Mic Check and grabs a spinebuster. Back up and Roode escapes another Mic Check, setting up the Crossface. Anderson tries to roll over but gets caught in the middle of the ring, giving us the submission at 13:20.

Rating: C. Another match that just kind of happened here with four guys doing moves to each other for no real prize. At least Roode won in the best option and the match had a bit more meaning than the eight man tag earlier. Still not a good match or anything, but at least it was fresh.

Kurt Angle talks about how important this tournament is. He’s fought all four of the semi-finalists and could see any of them winning. Angle doesn’t really pick anyone but seems to think Lashley is the favorite. Of note, he says that Matt Hardy got so close at Bound For Glory. Does Angle really not know how this whole thing started?

Video on Eric Young’s path to the semi-finals.

Here’s Young vs. Roode from November 4, 2015.

Group TNA Originals: Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode

We start after a break and Young is quickly sent to the floor, only to snap Roode’s throat over the top rope. Young stays on the throat with a catapult into the middle rope and we hit the neck crank. A quick neckbreaker gets two on Roode but he comes back with an enziguri for a delayed fall. Roode grabs a spinebuster for two and counters the piledriver into a jackknife cover for two. Back up and Young grabs the referee for a distraction, setting up the piledriver for the pin at 6:50.

Rating: C. Decent enough match but these videos designed to make these regular matches feel like some big showdown between epic rivals really aren’t working. Young and Roode are the likely winners of the group as Storm seems to be gone but Abyss is always a possibility. Good enough here as Roode at least stayed on the neck for a story.

Young brags about his success and promises to win the World Title again.

Here’s Mr. Anderson vs. Ethan Carter III from November 11, 2015.

Group Champions: Ethan Carter III vs. Mr. Anderson

They chop it out to start with Anderson getting the better of it and sending Carter to the floor as we take a break. Back with Anderson firing off more chops and pounding Carter in the head as Carter tries to cover up. A quick baseball slide takes Tyrus out and a boot to the face looks to set up the Mic Check.

Carter drives him to the floor to counter, which Pope refers to as dinosaur land. Anderson gets sent into the apron and Carter bends his fingers back for good measure. We hit the chinlock as Pope and Josh compare Anderson and Carter’s upbringings in the business. Anderson fights out with less than five minutes to go and easily wins a slugout.

The Regal roll and a swanton get two on Carter and both guys are tired with two and a half minutes to go. Anderson goes up top and counters a super 1%er into a middle rope Regal roll for two more. Tyrus and Earl Hebner argue on the floor (Tyrus: “YOU’RE TOO OLD!”) so Anderson beats Tyrus up with a chair with a minute left. Hebner gets rid of the chair, allowing Carter to kick Anderson low and grab a jackknife rollup for the pin at 16:24 as TNA’s clock continues to be off.

Rating: C+. Another good match here as Carter can win something when he has to. Anderson losing doesn’t mean anything and you knew that Carter was going to be in the final sixteen and probably the final two. This wasn’t a classic or anything but it was perfectly fine for a big TV main event.

Clips of Carter at his house exercising, tormenting his pool cleaner and drinking at his bar.

It’s time for a big sitdown interview with the semi-finalists. Lashley wants to know if Carter is going to fight on his own or if Tyrus is going to do the fighting for him. Carter says he already beat Lashley so he shouldn’t have to do it again by any means. Matt thinks Carter is delusional but he’s not looking past Young, who is crazy in his own right. Eric laughs off the idea that Matt swept a tag division because Group Originals was the toughest. Back to Matt who calls Eric the next victim to suffer a Twist of Fate.

Hardy would love to face either Lashley or Carter in the finals but picks Lashley because of his integrity. Lashley thinks he’ll face Hardy and he’d love to have his first shot against Matt. Carter simply says Eric Young. Eric goes with Carter because of his history of winning. To fill in more time, we go over who they all think won’t advance. Young picks Matt because he isn’t making it out of the semi-finals. A lot of violence is promised and Matt promises that Eric won’t break him. We wrap things up with a lot of shouting.

One more video for the road ends the show.

Overall Rating: D-. What a waste of time this whole thing was. It’s basically a big preview of the final three matches but the problem is the semi-finals really aren’t that interesting in the first place. We’ve seen Carter vs. Lashley already and Young vs. Hardy isn’t a good match either. This show needs the two weeks off because I can’t imagine how bad it was going to go for the next two weeks without the show getting even worse. Just a big waste of time here and I think TNA knew it coming in.

Results

Group X-Division b. Group Future 4 – Shooting star press to Drake

Bobby Roode b. Mr. Anderson, Eddie Edwards and Rockstar Spud last eliminating Anderson

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