Tribute to the Troops 2015: Yeah Fine
Tribute to the Troops 2015
Date: December 23, 2015
Location: Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole
It’s the annual holiday special with the WWE putting on a show for the military. This is also going to include some comedy and musical performances, plus a few appearances from various celebrities. WWE treats this like a big deal and it’s the big finale to WWE Week every year. Let’s get to it.
We open with the standard video talking about how much WWE wants to thank the troops.
JoJo sings the National Anthem. The red, white and blue ropes are back for the special occasion.
Here are Roman Reigns (minus the title but with it on his graphic), Dean Ambrose (same) and the Usos to open things up. They quickly thank the troops but here’s the League of Nations to interrupt. Sheamus (no title either) is amazed that Reigns thinks America is the greatest country in the world. He likes the Americans and thinks it might be in the top twenty nations in the world.
Barrett thinks everything in England is better, especially the food. Do you know how hard it is to find spotted dick around here? Reigns: “This is a family show!” Del Rio doesn’t like American TV because it doesn’t have any football (“I mean the real football!”) and he has to listen to stupid country music.
Sheamus thinks Ireland has the best everything in the world but Reigns cuts him off with a tater tots mention. The League accepts an invitation for a fight but here are the Wyatts to interrupt. Before anything else can happen, the Dudley Boyz, Ryback and Kane come out to give us sixteen men at once. A huge fight breaks out and we take a break.
We’ll have a sixteen man tag later tonight.
Rusev and Lana insult America, setting up this.
Jack Swagger vs. Rusev
Boot Camp match because we need a new way for Swagger to lose to Rusev. Swagger starts fast with a Patriot Lock but Lana slips Rusev an ammo box to take over. Rusev gets in a few shots but misses a charge and falls to the floor. A big clothesline knocks Rusev onto a cot and we take a break. Back with Rusev drilling Swagger with a foot locker and squashing Jack’s head against the box for two. Rusev throws him to the floor and waves the Bulgarian flag, easily knocking Swagger back as he tries to get in.
Swagger finally gets smart by waving Old Glory, ticking Rusev off enough that Jack can get inside again. Some clotheslines have Rusev in trouble and the Vader Bomb gets two. The jumping superkick puts Jack down again but he catches another superkick in the Patriot Lock. That goes nowhere but Rusev gets sent into the foot locker in the corner. Another Patriot Lock goes on and Rusev actually taps at 11:01.
Rating: C. Well it took him long enough. Not much of a hardcore match but they really didn’t have a choice but to go with Swagger here. Having the American hero (that’s a stretch) lose at this show would be like having the Evil Santa steal Christmas on the holiday Raw so it’s not like Rusev really loses anything. Good enough match but more weapons would have been appreciated.
Some members of the roster went to a Navy SEALS training camp.
Joel McHale loves the troops.
Harrison Ford loves the troops as well.
Mark Henry vs. Bo Dallas
Bo is dressed as Uncle Sam. For some reason he slaps Mark in the face and pounds on his back a few times. Mark snaps up and Bo is terrified. Bo: “I’m gonna go back this way!” The World’s Strongest Slam ends Bo at 46 seconds.
The US Women’s National Soccer Team loves the troops.
Eva Longoria loves the troops.
Train performs.
Some troops wish their families Happy Holidays.
Wesley Snipes loves the troops.
Kevin Owens vs. Ryback
Before the match, Owens praises Canada, especially Quebec. We even get some French from Owens until Ryback cuts him off to get things started. Ryback muscles him up for a delayed vertical suplex but Owens knees him in the ribs and grabs an early chinlock. That goes nowhere so Ryback tries a Shell Shock, only to have Kevin grab the ropes. They hit each other from the apron and Owens falls to the floor for a breather. Owens takes the countout at 3:06.
Rating: D. Oh come on what do you want me to say here? This is a match that doesn’t mean anything but gives the fans something to smile about. I’m glad they didn’t have Owens take a clean loss though, especially with the new character having started up after this show was taped.
A military couple got to go backstage the show and had a Coke with Roman Reigns.
Howie Mandel performs.
Joe Manganiello loves the troops.
JJ Abrams loves the troops.
Brie Bella/Alicia Fox/Charlotte/Becky Lynch vs. Paige/Team BAD
This is your annual “here’s a bunch of good looking women” match. Naomi does her stupid shaking spot to Charlotte to start, earning her some chops. Brie, who is clearly a face this time, comes in for some YES Kicks. Tamina clotheslines Brie’s head off to break up BRIE MODE (well done) and it’s off to Paige for some shots in the corner. Brie shoves Naomi into the corner for a break, kicks Tamina away, and makes the hot tag to Becky. Everything breaks down and it’s a Bank Statement to make Alicia tap at 4:40.
Rating: D+. This was fine for what it was and at least we got to see Sasha do something other than be the female Kofi. It’s really kind of hard to find stuff to talk about with these matches because the stories are about two weeks behind and the matches mean nothing. Still though, this was a way to get the women on the show and little more so it accomplished its goal.
Clips of the roster meeting some troops.
Toby Keith loves the troops.
Neil Patrick Harris loves the troops.
Train performs again.
Cris Collinsworth loves the troops.
Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns/Usos/Kane/Dudley Boyz/Ryback vs. Wyatt Family/League of Nations
This is joined in progress, meaning we get to skip the entrances to save some time. Dean is in control of Rowan but it’s quickly off to Strowman vs. Bubba. Strowman wants Kane though and it’s time for the battle of the monsters. Kane can’t slam him though and Braun plants him with a slam of his own. The smaller monster fights back though and knocks Braun to the floor, setting up a big staredown as we take a break.
Back with Harper getting two off a swinging Boss Man Slam to Jimmy. Bray comes in for the backsplash and it’s time for the League to start taking turns beating Jimmy down. Jimmy gets in an enziguri to Sheamus but can’t make the hot tag. Instead it’s Harper putting on a headlock until Jimmy suplexes him down in a surprising power display. Now the hot tag brings in Ambrose for the top rope elbow on Harper.
Everything breaks down and Rowan takes What’s Up. Dean and the Usos hit dives and it’s time for the parade of finishers. It takes a Superman punch, a double shoulder from the Dudley Boyz, a double superkick from the Usos and a Meathook to put Strowman over the top (finally putting him off his feet in a nice touch). Dirty Deeds puts Harper away at 13:25.
Rating: C. Yeah fine. This has become a tradition on these shows and it’s a good way to put everyone out there for a big, fun main event for a fun show. I don’t know why you would expect this to be anything more than it was as it’s been the same idea for years now. Still though, fun enough and that’s all it needed to be.
The American flag comes down and the good guys celebrate to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. What else do you want me to say about this show? It doesn’t mean anything for storylines and the wrestling is average at best, but that’s all it’s supposed to be. I haven’t cared for the show as much since they stopped going overseas but really it’s harmless fun. Standard show this year, which is probably best all around.
Results
Jack Swagger b. Rusev – Patriot Lock
Mark Henry b. Bo Dallas – World’s Strongest Slam
Ryback b. Kevin Owens via countout
Team BAD/Paige b. Brie Bella/Alicia Fox/Becky Lynch/Charlotte – Bank Statement to Fox
Dudley Boyz/Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Ryback/Kane/Usos b. Wyatt Family and League of Nations – Dirty Deeds to Harper
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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NXT – December 23, 2015: Jolly Old NXT
NXT
Date: December 23, 2015
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
We’re past Takeover: London now and the big question is where do things go from here. Before we can get to the next major shows though, we have a few matches taped at the Takeover show to get through here, including a four way tag and the return of someone you might remember. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap/highlight package from Takeover. I might be looking forward to Takeover more than Wrestlemania.
Opening sequence.
Vaudevillains vs. Hype Bros vs. Blake and Murphy vs. Chad Gable/Jason Jordan
One fall to a finish. The Vaudevillains are dressed as Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. The Hype Bros aren’t the most beloved but Gable and Jordan’s eruption makes up for it. Gable and English get things going with Chad easily taking him to the mat. It’s off to Gotch for a wristlock but Chad easily takes him down to the delight of the crowd. Mojo tags himself in but Gable and Jordan clean house, leading to a four way staredown.
Back from a break with English having issues getting out of another Gable wristlock. Blake comes in and walks into a headscissors, followed by a dropkick. It’s off to Murphy who is caught in an armbreaker across the top rope, only to have Blake make a save (thanks to Bliss) with a stomp to the ribs for two. Blake starts in on Chad’s leg until English tags himself in to take over.
Gotch works on the leg as well but Gable gets the knees up to give himself a breather. Murphy breaks up the hot tag, only to have Gable backflip out of a double suplex and make the hot tag to Jordan. Everything breaks down and it’s suplex city on everyone, including one to Murphy onto the pile, setting up Grand Amplitude to Blake for the pin at 12:46.
Rating: C+. Fun match here as you would expect with this many people in the ring at once. Gable and Jordan are something special and there’s almost no way we’re not getting them vs. Dawson and Wilder for the titles sooner than later. I can’t imagine they’ll stretch the chase all the way out to Dallas as they’re too hot right now.
Dana Brooke yells at Emma for losing to Asuka. Asuka comes in and smiles so Dana turns around and asks Emma if Asuka left yet.
Sami Zayn is back tonight.
Video on the European tour.
Clips of Finn Balor vs. Samoa Joe from Takeover.
Tye Dillinger is tired of people talking about Sami Zayn, who is not a perfect ten.
More from the song man, who debuts next.
Next week (and perhaps the week after) will be the Best of 2015.
Clips of Apollo Crews vs. Baron Corbin.
Corbin brags about his win and declares himself #1 contender.
Bull Dempsey vs. Elias Samson
Sampson is confirmed as the drifting guitar player. Bull starts with some clotheslines so Samson stomps him down into the corner. The snap jabs and a shoulder put Elias down but he comes back with a quick knockdown. That gives us a creepy smile from Elias, followed by a top rope elbow to pin Bull at 1:37. Well that was quick. Not very impressive but quick.
After some clips of their title defense, Scott Dawson and Dash Wilder say they’re awesome.
Clips of Bayley retaining over Nia Jax.
Tye Dillinger vs. Sami Zayn
We have to pause the start of the match due to some extended OLE chants. Tye starts going after the arm to start but Sami reverses into a wristlock of his own and we get a standoff. A pair of armdrags send Ty to the floor but he bails away from a dive, leaving Sami to flip back into the ring. They head outside with Sami being sent shoulder first into the post, taking us to our first break.
Back with Dillinger working on the arm and firing off some left hands to the head. Sami fights out of another armbar and clotheslines Tye a few times, followed by a fisherman’s suplex. Now we get the big flip dive and the fans are very happy to have Sami back. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two but the Helluva kick is countered into a rollup for two (with a handful of tights). Tye starts fighting back but gets suplex into the corner, setting up the Helluva kick for the pin at 12:47.
Rating: C. This was little more than “hey Sami’s back”. He had a bit of ring rust but it’s a good idea to give him a relatively easy match like this to allow him to get his timing back. Sami is at his best when he’s fighting uphill, but it’s going to be interesting to see him as the returning hero instead of an underdog again. He looked fine here and that’s all that matters.
Sami says he’s back and soaks in some OLE’s. The trend in his career has been every time a dream comes true, it quickly turns into a nightmare. It happened when he won the NXT Title and it happened when he showed up on Raw but tonight broke the trend. This is just the beginning and 2016 will be even better for NXT and Sami Zayn.
Overall Rating: C+. These shows are always tricky as they’re really more WCW Saturday Night (in the Nitro era) than Monday Night Raw. It’s still a fun show and a really easy sit though and that’s all NXT needs to be. What makes it even better is how they make me want to keep coming back. I believed Sami when he said it’s going to get even better, which is mainly lip service most of the time. Another fun show here and the Best of shows coming up should be a nice flashback.
Results
Chad Gable/Jason Jordan b. Hype Bros, Blake and Murphy and Vaudevillains – Grand Amplitude to Blake
Elias Samson b. Bull Dempsey – Top rope elbow
Sami Zayn b. Tye Dillinger – Helluva kick
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Which Royal Rumble Should I Redo?
Other than 2015 of course. The count-up starts on Sunday so get your votes in quickly.
Impact Wrestling – December 22, 2015: But Then….Wait….No….I Mean….Huh?
Impact Wrestling
Date: December 22, 2015
Hosts: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
This is a special episode as the company is debuting on Pop TV with the first half of the Best of 2015. Therefore we’ll be looking at a bunch of matches from earlier in the year and probably previewing the final four of the World Title tournament just a bit more. These shows usually fly by so let’s get to it.
Note that these matches may be clipped in the broadcast but I’ll be copying and pasting the full versions of the matches.
We open with a quick package on the year as a whole.
Josh and Pope welcome us to the show and send us back to the beginning of the year in New York City. You remember New York. It’s the town where TNA said it was tough to sell out the same 2,000 seat arena three days in a row before WWE sold out a 14,000 seat arena three nights in a row in the same city later that year. A huge brawl broke out to begin the show until boss Kurt Angle broke it up.
Clips of Roode vs. Lashley III with Lashley winning the title back.
Clips of Lashley joining and then leaving the Beat Down Clan, leading to a fight with MVP on the streets of New York. The rest of the Beat Down Clan helped take Lashley out until Angle and Roode made the save.
Lashley became the big free agent going into Lethal Lockdown.
Before we get to that, we look at the opening of the last two Feast or Fired briefcases, which saw Robbie E. sneak around being fired by getting Velvet Sky fired instead.
Clips of Lethal Lockdown.
From March 13.
Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode
Last man standing. It’s a big brawl to start with Roode getting the better of it and knocking Young out to the floor for three. The fans want tables but stop to tell Young that he sold out. He also sucks but they don’t tell him that for some reason. Young punches Bobby in the mouth a few times, only to be backdropped on the aisle. Roode charges up the ramp for a clothesline and the announcers keep mentioning Roode turning his back on Young. It’s table time (hopefully it shuts them up for a bit) but we take a break before anyone goes through it.
Back with Young putting Roode down with a running neckbreaker and dropping knees to the chest. Another neckbreaker on the floor gets seven so Young whips Bobby into the steps to put him down again. Roode backdrops out of a piledriver on the steps and uses a cameraman to get to his feet. Both guys get chairs and it’s time for a duel, followed by a double clothesline to put them both on the floor.
They make it up and back in at nine with Roode getting all fired up first. Right hands don’t get Roode very far though as Young catches him with a piledriver for another nine. Some chairs to the ribs have Roode reeling but Young picks him up, only to get piledriven onto the chair. That’s still not enough so Roode loads up the Roode Bomb, only to have Young escape and both guys head to the apron. A Roode Bomb through the table is enough to put Young away at 19:38.
Rating: B. It was violent, it was intense, and I have no idea why they’re fighting. I thought about it for a bit and remembered it, only to realize I don’t care at this point. TNA knows how to set up a first brawl, but it takes them forever to get to the blowoff and by that point, the interest isn’t there anymore. Good brawl, but this really needs to end things between them.
Quick look at Awesome Kong vs. Havok in a cage.
Also from Lockdown, Jeff Hardy is injured by the Revolution, meaning he can’t go on the European tour. You would think someone would catch on to that happening every single year.
Clips of Jeff Hardy vs. James Storm on March 27.
Clips of the Wolves vs. the Revolution in Ultimate X on March 20.
We look at Ethan Carter III shaving Jeremy Borash’s head.
Package on Carter vs. Rockstar Spud, including clips of their First Blood match and Carter shaving Spud’s head.
Video on the Rising vs. Drew Galloway.
From March 20 in London.
TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Lashley
Lashley is defending. We get the old school long walks through the back to the ring to really make this feel like a big deal. After the big match intros we’re ready to go with nearly twenty five minutes for this match. The fans are behind Angle but Lashley throws him into the corner with ease. A big clothesline puts Angle down again as it’s all champ so far. Kurt goes back to basics with rolling Germans and sends Lashley to the floor, but the champ takes over again with pure power.
Back in and Lashley pounds him down in the corner before starting in on the arm and shoulder. Kurt fights up and escapes, setting up a middle rope shoulder to drop Lashley. It’s time to roll some Germans and Lashley is in trouble. Kurt lets go but snaps off five more Germans before taking down the straps. The ankle lock is countered and Lashley nails the powerslam for two as we take a break.
Back with Lashley going shoulder first into the post and getting caught in the ankle lock again. Lashley rolls through but charges into a boot, setting up the Angle Slam for two. Now the spear connects for two but Lashley takes way too much time going up, allowing Angle to avoid a splash. This time it’s Kurt going up for a high cross body but Lashley rolls through into an ankle lock of his own. Kurt grabs the rope and hits another Angle Slam only to get caught in a cross armbreaker. That gets turned over into another ankle lock with the grapevine and Lashley taps at 20:18.
Rating: B+. It’s really good but it’s clear that Angle just doesn’t have the same reserves he used to. I’m ok with the title win as it feels more like one last reign for Angle instead of making him the long term top guy again. Angle more than deserves a reign like that and if he puts over a young star (which he likely will), this is fine. Lashley looks good in a loss, but the match didn’t hit the levels of epic they were hoping for. Still though, really good stuff.
We look at the Wolves having to vacate the Tag Team Titles. These clips are all over the place with little to no reason for going from one to another.
As a followup, here’s the ending to Ultimate X from April 17 with the Hardys winning their first TNA Tag Team Titles.
Then Jeff broke his leg, forcing them to vacate the titles and possibly putting him him out of action for over a year due to knee problems.
Here’s part of Kurt Angle defending the World Title against Eric Young in an I Quit match.
Now it’s on to Ethan Carter’s push towards the World Title, meaning we see his feud with Mr. Anderson.
We look at Destination X with Kurt Angle defending against Rockstar Spud and Austin Aries.
Time for the Knockouts as we look at Taryn Terrell winning the title and then defending against Awesome Kong in a hardcore match with the help of the Dollhouse. Taryn turned heel after the match.
Video on the Dollhouse and their path of destruction through the Knockouts division.
Jeff and Karen Jarrett came back in a big surprise.
We wrap it up with two minutes out of the twenty minute match where Carter won the title.
Overall Rating: D. I’m really not sure what to say about this. It was some cross between a Best of and a WAY too packed together retrospective as they flew through the first half of the year. I could barely keep track of when these things were happening and there was almost no structure or order to this whole thing. As usual, TNA goes from one extreme to the other as they take things way too slow or put in so much stuff that you can’t keep track of a thing.
This was just all over the place and I really have no idea what I was supposed to pick up from it. A lot of stuff happens here but we’re not sure if it makes sense? That’s their message? If you didn’t watch TNA regularly, this probably confused you a lot more than made you want to watch, but that’s TNA in a nutshell: don’t worry about the substance because we can just confuse them into watching. Part two will mainly be the GFW Invasion and the tournament, meaning a bunch of stuff that has little to do with what’s coming in the new year. Same TNA as always.
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Smackdown – December 22, 2015: Now Bring Us A Better Smackdown, Now Bring Us A Better Smackdown
Smackdown
Date: December 22, 2015
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Jerry Lawler
This is the special live show that follows the age of rule of “don’t have a show on Christmas Eve”. It’s also a stacked show as WWE tries to get some more attention on Smackdown before the move to the live broadcast just after the new year. Therefore we have two title matches as Dean Ambrose and the New Day defend their titles. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence, this time with Christmas trees at the beginning.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Lucha Dragons
The Dragons are challenging. Before the match, New Day plugs their new Christmas album, featuring songs such as Rudolph the Red Nosed Unicorn and Kofi the Snowman. Woods is the odd man out here as Cara dropkicks Kofi to start. It’s quickly off to Kalisto for the monkey flip 450 but he gets Big E. for his luck. E. tries a slam but gets kneed in the face, followed by a staggering dropkick. Cara’s missile dropkick gets two but Kofi comes in with a hurricanrana. That’s not really a heel move but then again the New Day aren’t really heels. A baseball slide puts Kofi down and it’s time for tromboning and a break.
Back with Big E. missing a splash and it’s the hot tag to Kalisto as everything picks up. Woods finally trips him up to take over again, allowing Big E. to drive Kalisto HARD into the barricade. That was one of the hardest looking crashes I’ve ever seen. It’s time for the Unicorn Stampede bug Kalisto flips out of a belly to belly and makes the hot tag. Everything speeds up again and the Dragons score with a double suicide dive. Back in and Cara kicks E. in the head, setting up Salida Del Sol. Kofi breaks up the Swanton though and Cara moonsaults into the Big Ending to retain the titles at 12:37.
Rating: C+. This was fine for what it needed to be and lets New Day look good before their big showdown with the Usos. The Dragons were a good choice for a quick challenge and the match worked well enough. I was hoping they would push Kalisto as something on his own after the performance in the tournament and the big Salida Del Sol but it’s just more false hope.
Santino puts the star on his tree but someone (who looked like Stardust) steals it.
Dolph Ziggler, Charlotte, Tyler Breeze and Roman Reigns wish us a Merry Christmas.
Ambrose says he’s sore from the last week but says he’s going to hit Ziggler and Owens with whatever it takes to retain Intercontinental Champion.
Ryback/Kane/Dudley Boyz vs. Wyatt Family
Ryback and Rowan get things going but it’s quickly off to Bubba for a shoulder and we take a quick break. Back with Harper putting Bubba in a chinlock to slow things down even more. It’s off to Strowman who wants Kane, which is exactly what he gets. The smaller monster is easily pounded down and it’s off to Wyatt for some shots in the corner. Kane comes back with a quick faceplant on Harper before bringing in Ryback. The middle rope dropkick puts Harper down but he grabs a Michinoku Driver as we go to our second break.
Back with Rowan holding Ryback in a head vice until a spinebuster gives him a breather. Another double tag brings in D-Von and Bray with the Dudley taking over. The top rope headbutt gets two on Bray and everything breaks down. Rowan clotheslines Ryback over the barricade and the reverse 3D gets two more on Wyatt. There’s a superkick to D-Von and Sister Abigail ends Bubba at 16:08.
Rating: C. This is the kind of match the Wyatts need to win. They’re slowly being built back up but at some point they have to actually do something. It’s also amazing how much more I can tolerate these things with fewer ancient ECW guys in there and people like Ryback having something to do instead. Not a great or even good match but it did its job.
Santino’s Christmas party is a disaster as everything has been wrecked. This brings in Stardust and the Ascension to take credit for destroying everything. Neville, in a hilarious elf hat, comes in to stand up for Christmas. Titus, in the same hat, appears and says he’ll put a boot down Ascension’s chimney. A tag match is made for later.
Rusev/Alberto Del Rio vs. Usos
Jey chops Rusev to start but gets dragged into the corner as the League starts taking turns on him. Del Rio hits a top rope right hand and Rusev rakes a boot over the face. Jey gets over for the tag and Jimmy comes in for two off a double flapjack. Everything breaks down and Jey’s dive over the top nails Alberto. Jimmy does the same to Rusev but they’re both dropped with kicks as we take a break.
Back with everything breaking down and Jimmy being sent into the steps. Del Rio snaps Jey’s throat across the rope but gets caught on top. A superplex is broken up and it’s time for the top rope double stomp. Thankfully Jey realizes that he can move to break it up, only to have a Rusev distraction allow Rusev to knock him back into place. The stomp is good for the pin at 10:30.
Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one quite as much as the Usos win an award, beat the champions last night and then lose here. As usual it’s the same story of bad booking going in the same circles over and over. I’m getting tired of trying to care about a team and then having them lose all over again. What does the win over New Day last night mean now? Watchable match but more bad booking.
Post match the League loads up the Brogue Kick on Jimmy but Reigns makes the save.
Dean Ambrose, Santino Marella, Becky Lynch and New Day wish us a Merry Christmas.
Titus O’Neil/Neville vs. Ascension
Santino introduces Neville and Titus (“My favorite Irishman!”) and it’s Neville and Konor starting things off. Neville is in some early trouble thanks to the power game so it’s off to Viktor. That doesn’t go very well as the hot tag brings in Titus. Viktor takes him down as well and everyone surrounds Santino on the floor. The Cobra is loaded up but Santino just wipes himself off with it, allowing Neville to dive onto all three. Back in and a big boot sets up the Red Arrow to Viktor for the pin at 3:09.
Rating: D+. Nothing match here and the saving Christmas story was just tacked on. I mean, this is no Mark Henry vs. Damien Sandow or JBL Claus vs. Mick Claus but then again this isn’t much of a show anyway. Neville getting the pin is a good thing though after they gave him an award last night and then had him lose.
We recap Ziggler vs. Owens vs. Ambrose.
Dolph says he’s been going about this the wrong way but tonight he’s going to make 2016 the year of Dolph Ziggler.
Charlotte vs. Brie Bella
Non-title with Becky Lynch on commentary. Charlotte, in a Mrs. Claus skirt, kicks away to start as the fans want Becky. A Flair knee drop misses and Becky can’t answer if she’d rather have friends or win the Divas Title. Charlotte ducks the big YES kick and hits a quick spear. Cue Team BAD as a snowman, a reindeer and…..I’m not sure what Tamina is supposed to be. They throw eggnog on Becky and beat her down but Charlotte puts Brie in the Figure Eight for the win at 3:39.
Rating: D. Angle advancement here as we need Brie on TV to set up the new season of Total Divas. I mean, I hear there’s going to be Brie vs. Nikki drama this time. Becky vs. Charlotte should be good, much like when we FINALLY get rid of Team Bad as the female New Day, minus any of the actual comedy.
Becky is annoyed at Charlotte post match.
Owens promises to turn Smackdown into the Kevin Owens Show and says Renee Young looks ridiculous.
Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens
Ambrose is defending so of course he comes out first. Owens is quickly sent outside but he pulls Dolph outside. Dean breaks up a powerbomb attempt on the floor so Owens backsplashes both guys as we take a break. Back with everyone heading up the ramp and Owens throws Ziggler through the Christmas presents. Ziggler breaks up a powerbomb to Ambrose and they throw Owens off the stage through more trees.
That leaves Ziggler and Ambrose to fight on the stage with empty boxes. They head back to the ring with Ziggler loading up a superplex, only to have Owens runs back in for the save. Owens superkicks Ziggler and Dean clotheslines Kevin to put all three down. Dean goes up top but Dolph runs up the corner for a super facebuster. Ziggler is sent into the steps to give Owens two on Ambrose.
Dolph runs back in for a sleeper but gets thrown to the floor, leaving Owens to suplex Dean onto his head for two. As the referee makes sure Dean can remember what planet he’s on, Owens is smart enough to go beat on Ziggler to give the crowd something to watch. Dean gets back up and tries Dirty Deeds on Owens but Ziggler comes in to add the Zig Zag to Ambrose, putting all three down again. Ziggler covers Dean for two and superkicks Owens but walks into Dirty Deeds to retain Dean’s title at 13:25.
Rating: B-. Good, action packed match here that was a few miles ahead of everything else on the show with all three guys working hard to get the match over. Again they made sure to keep Owens from getting pinned which is the exactly right idea to keep the feud going. Ziggler is the kind of guy who can lose all the time and still be fine but Owens might be going somewhere big. Good stuff here and almost enough to save the show.
Owens destroys the Christmas trees as Ambrose celebrates to take us out.
Overall Rating: C. Totally skippable show here with really nothing major happening. The two title matches were nice but you can tell they’re saving their big stuff for the regular premiere on USA. It doesn’t help that this is a week they basically take off for the holidays because we get seven hours of mostly lame WWE in three days. This was nothing to see though and a really standard episode of Smackdown: watchable wrestling that meant absolutely nothing.
Results
New Day b. Lucha Dragons – Big Ending to Cara
Wyatt Family b. Dudley Boyz/Ryback/Kane – Sister Abigail to Bubba
Rusev/Alberto Del Rio b. Usos – Top rope double stomp to Jey
Titus O’Neil/Neville b. Ascension – Red Arrow to Viktor
Charlotte b. Brie Bella – Figure Eight
Dean Ambrose b. Kevin Owens and Dolph Ziggler – Dirty Deeds to Ziggler
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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Monday Night Raw – December 21, 2015: I’ll Accept This Show on WWE’s Behalf
Monday Night Raw
Date: December 21, 2015
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
It’s the Slammy Awards! Tonight is all about picking the best of the year, or at least whoever the fans pick as the best of the year. The big award is of course Superstar of the Year which is likely going to Roman Reigns again. The other major story though is fallout from last week’s World Title change, which likely means Stephanie going after Reigns. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of Reigns beating Sheamus and infuriating the McMahons last week.
Here’s a very happy Stephanie to open things up. She thinks we’re confused by her mood but it’s very simple: McMahons are fighters and tonight is all about a celebration. Cue Roman Reigns who says everyone is in a good mood tonight. Stephanie is really not happy that he’s here but Reigns says he doesn’t sweat anyone, including the League of Nations, any of the McMahons or HHH himself.
That’s too much for Stephanie as she starts shrieking at him to get out of her ring and does her usual whining about her family and her legacy and all that jazz. Reigns doesn’t really care and turns his back on her, eventually leaving very slowly. This makes Stephanie demand that he come back here but Reigns just keeps going. Stephanie says that means consequences so she makes the Usos vs. the New day in a handicap match and Ambrose vs. Sheamus inside a cage. Reigns keeps going up the steps and posing with the title.
It’s time for the first award with Dolph Ziggler (in a tuxedo) presenting Breakout Star of the Year. Here are the nominees:
Kevin Owens
Neville
Charlotte
Tyler Breeze
Braun Strowman
After a break, the winner is…..Neville. Neville says he’s excited about this and completely surprised until Kevin Owens comes out to interrupt. Owens says that’s his award and gets in a fight with Ziggler until……cue the Wyatts for a completely unrelated match.
Bray Wyatt vs. Kane
Bray gets punched into the corner to start but a Harper distraction lets him come back with a big running clothesline. The Wyatts go after Kane so he heads outside after him, drawing a quick DQ at 54 seconds.
Kane gets beaten down post match until the Dudley Boyz and Tommy Dreamer come out for the save because this is still a feud.
Kane/Dudley Boyz/Tommy Dreamer vs. Wyatt Family
This is joined in progress with Dreamer in trouble and the announcers comparing Kane to Chewbacca. Dreamer quickly fights up and makes the tag to Kane for a kick to Harper’s face. It’s off to Bubba for some house cleaning but everything breaks down a few seconds later. There’s What’s Up to Harper, which JBL says is like a sofa. 3D to Rowan but Strowman takes Bubba and D-Von down with a double clothesline. The discus lariat puts D-Von out for the pin at 2:43 shown.
Here’s the returning (for one night only I believe) Santino Marella to present the LOL Laugh Out Loudest Moment of the Year. The nominees are:
Edge and Christian vs. New Day in a trombone vs. kazoo battle
The Bushwhackers’ Hall of Fame induction speech
Miz’s “commercial” for erectile dysfunction
The Authority dances with New Day
R-Truth thinks he’s in the Money in the Bank ladder match
After a break, the winner is R-Truth. Well that’s one out of two at least. Santino tries to accept the award for himself but Truth comes out and starts a light brawl for the trophy.
We get a quick visit from Old Saint Mick (with elf Noelle). He wishes us all Happy Holidays and says he’s very sorry for giving Xavier Woods that trombone last year.
Here’s Paul Heyman to present the OMG Moment of the Year Award. After saying that Brock Lesnar should win all the awards save for LOL and Diva of the Year, here are the nominees:
Seth Rollins cashes in Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania
Brock Lesnar the night after Wrestlemania
Kalisto’s Salida Del Sol through the ladder at Tables Ladders and Chairs
Wyatt Family kidnaps Undertaker at Hell in a Cell
Sheamus cashes in Money in the Bank at Survivor Series
After a break, Kalisto wins. Really? It was good but biggest shock of the year? Not really. Kalisto is here in a suit and without much to say as an acceptance speech.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens
Ziggler goes right at him to start and tries the sleeper so Owens drops back with all his weight for the break. A big elbow sends Ziggler to the floor and Owens shouts that HE is the breakout star. Well to be fair he’s right. We hit the chinlock on Dolph and we actually show the brawl from earlier tonight which set this up. Well at least it’s during a hold but dude, it was less than an hour ago.
Back up and Ziggler grabs a rollup for two, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline. After another chinlock, Dolph grabs the running DDT and we take a break. We come back with Owens getting two off a superplex but eating a superkick to put him outside. A quick Fameasser gets two for Dolph (in case you thought Owens was doing it) but Owens comes right back with the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 11:08.
Rating: C. Well at least Owens won. Unfortunately we’re still stuck in the same circle of chasing our own tail with the midcard because they had something interesting with Owens and then reverted him back to the same character just a week later. I’m sure it just wasn’t getting over because of some social media score determining that people didn’t care enough or whatever, because that’s what seems to run WWE these days.
Here’s Stephanie (of course) to present Superstar of the Year with every member of the roster as a nominee. We get a quick video of everyone on the roster before the nominees are listed as:
Roman Reigns
Sheamus
John Cena
Kevin Owens
Dean Ambrose
Bray Wyatt
New Day (all three members)
Undertaker
Kane
Sting
Brock Lesnar
Seth Rollins
Post break the winner is……Seth Rollins, who actually limps out on crutches. The fans thank him but he says this was obvious the whole time. Seth does his usual recap of his year and says that his success went away just as quickly as it came. That title is coming back to him in the new year because he will retake what he never lost.
John Cena returns next week to face Alberto Del Rio.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger
I KNEW IT WOULD BE SWAGGER!!! As soon as I saw Del Rio in the ring I knew it would be Swagger. It had to be Swagger because he’s Del Rio’s personal jobber and that’s the only idea WWE has for Swagger. Non-title of course. Del Rio kicks him to the floor and hits a quick baseball slide as we take a break. Back with Del Rio getting two off a DDT but Jack ducks the low superkick and grabs a quick belly to belly. The Vader Bomb gets two and Jack loads up a superplex, only to slip and get caught with the top rope double stomp for the pin at 7:07. Not enough seen to rate but this was the same stuff we’ve seen from them every time.
The League beats Jack down post match.
Here’s Mark Henry to present the new Hero in All of Us Award, which seems to be for best charity work. The nominees are:
Natalya
Roman Reigns
Big Show
Titus O’Neil
John Cena
After a break, the winner is John Cena. He’s not here tonight but Henry says that Cena and all the other nominees do this out of the goodness of their hearts rather than for awards. Henry accepts the award on Cena’s behalf.
There were some other awards given out before the show went on the air, including:
Rivalry of the Year – Lesnar vs. Undertaker
WWE Network Original Show of the Year – Steve Austin Show
Double Cross of the Year – Damien Mizdow
Extreme Moment of the Year – Reigns attacks HHH
Here’s Santa Claus (as played by Bo Dallas) to introduce the Surprise Return of the Year. He’s the REAL Santa and not the fat old man at the mall. Here are the nominees:
Dudley Boyz
Chris Jericho
Alberto Del Rio
Kane
Sting
Post break the winner is Sting, who also isn’t here tonight either.
New Day vs. Usos
Non-title handicap match. Before the match, New Day blames the fans for spoiling the Tag Team of the Year award. Therefore, they’re going to SPOIL STAR WARS! Kofi cuts Big E. off because he hasn’t seen it yet. Woods: “YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET?????” Dancing solves the problem and we’re ready to go.
Jimmy and Kofi get things going with the twins starting in on the arm. Kofi works on Jey’s arm as well, only to get kicked into the corner. Big E. and Xavier break up the Rikishi attack and all three have to move before the Usos can dive on them. Back with Jey being dragged into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede with Woods dropping to the floor for some musical accompaniment.
Big E. slaps on the abdominal stretch for a bit and gets two off the Warrior splash. Jey fights up and makes the hot tag to Jimmy for some good house cleaning. The Samoan drop gets two on Woods and New Day heads outside, only to have Big E. break up the double dive. Not that it matters as Jimmy rolls Woods up for the pin at 10:59.
Rating: C-. For every few steps this company takes forward, we get something like this. You make this a handicap match so the Usos can lose, but oh no because you need to keep them looking strong for later so let’s put them over the champions here because we have no other way to actually get them over. Like giving them an award or something. This is the kind of stuff that drives me the craziest and it just keeps happening over and over. Also there was no mention of the Stephanie/Reigns story from earlier.
Here’s R-Truth to present Diva of the Year. The nominees are:
Nikki Bella
Naomi
Paige
Sasha Banks
Charlotte
Back with…..Paige winning. Well that’s quite the surprise. Oh wait it’s actually a Steve Harvey joke because Truth read it wrong. Therefore, Nikki Bella wins. See, in WWE, just saying something exists means that it’s funny. Nikki comes out and has Paige stand there next to her as she dedicates this to every woman in the company. So she’s a face again.
Rusev vs. Neville
The League is here and Miz is on commentary. Rusev stomps him down in the corner to start and we hit an early chinlock as Miz says Neville could go even further with the right management. Neville fights up and kicks Rusev to the post, only to be sent into the post. A belly to belly sends Neville crashing down and we take a break.
Back with Neville moonsaulting to the floor as JBL gets in his weekly “THERE’S YOUR SPORTSCENTER HIGHLIGHT” line. Neville loads up the Red Arrow with Rusev across the ring. That goes as well as you would think as he dives into the jumping superkick, setting up the Accolade to give Rusev the win at 7:38.
Rating: D+. So they’ll protect the Usos but not Neville, who won an award earlier tonight on the show? Another nothing match here as Neville is still a jobber but at least Rusev got a win for a change. He’s still a mess after Lana came back so it’s cool to see him acting like his old self for at least one night.
The League beats Neville down as well.
Miz is presenting the THIS IS AWESOME Award. After complaining about not being nominated, he introduces the nominees as:
Brock Lesnar destroying J and J’s car
Randy Orton’s RKO to Rollins at Wrestlemania
Stephanie McMahon starting the Divas Revolution
The Shield reuniting to beat down Orton
Rock and Ronda Rousey at Wrestlemania
After we come back, Stephanie FINALLY gets her award as Rock and Ronda Rousey wins. Miz accepts on Rock’s behalf and plugs Santa’s Little Helper.
Becky Lynch vs. Brie Bella
Rematch from Smackdown because it’s a meaningless show. Brie takes over to start and puts on a quickly broken chinlock, only to knee Becky down. The YES Kicks get two and we hit a seated abdominal stretch. Well stretch is a relative term as Brie isn’t pulling back or anything but she’s trying. We hit another armbar as this has been all Brie so far. Becky makes her comeback with clotheslines but THIS IS A BRIE BELLA MATCH so she cuts her down with a dropkick, only to get rolled up into the Disarm-Her for the tap at 5:14.
Rating: D+. As I think we’ve learned by now, Brie really isn’t that good. They had an idea here with the arm but Brie really couldn’t carry this to anything beyond the run of the mill Divas match. She still has no idea if she’s a face or a heel and it makes for some really awkward matches.
Ric Flair introduces the nominees for Match of the Year:
John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins – Royal Rumble
Sting vs. HHH – Wrestlemania
John Cena vs. Kevin Owens – Elimination Chamber
Roman Reigns vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens vs. Alberto Del Rio – Raw – October 26
Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar – Hell in a Cell
The final award of the night goes to Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar and for the fourth time tonight, the big name isn’t here to accept. Heyman comes out instead and says Brock doesn’t come out and accept awards. Brock wants a fight but no one in the back is man enough to face Brock Lesnar. One phenom this year stood up and took a beating but there is only one conqueror.
The cage is lowered.
In the back, the League attacks the Usos with Rusev and Del Rio putting on their submissions. Both of them get Brogue Kicks as well.
Ambrose defends tomorrow night against Kevin Owens and Dolph Ziggler. Why should Ziggler get a shot when Owens pinned him earlier tonight?
Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose
Non-title. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Dean before he can get inside and since referees have no authority in WWE, the match starts anyway. We get the ten forearms to the chest as the fans chant SHEAMUS IS BORING. Sheamus actually acknowledges them and waves the chants on, only to get backdropped into the cage wall. Dean goes for the climb but Sheamus is right up after him for White Noise off the top for two.
Now it’s Sheamus going up but getting crotched down, only to be met by the League as he tries to escape. That’s fine with Dean as he dives down onto Sheamus with the elbow for a VERY close two. Del Rio slams the door on Dean’s head though, drawing out Reigns to take out the League with a chair. Thanks for coming BEFORE they cost your buddy the match Roman.
The League runs off and Sheamus climbs up, only to have Reigns waiting on him with a chair. Roman throws it to Dean and Sheamus is caught. Dirty Deeds onto the chair doesn’t even get a cover as Dean climbs, allowing Sheamus to catch him on top. They slug it out on top of the cage and slowly come down with Dean getting headbutted off for the win at 10:45.
Rating: C. This was fine with Ambrose and Reigns surviving one more time. They’ve done a great job of setting those two up as unbreakable brothers, meaning that the eventual split is going to be even better. Sheamus losing here is fine enough because no one buys him as a real threat to win the title again and his rematch is likely coming on the first Raw of the year instead of at the Rumble or on any other big stage.
Tom Phillips asks Stephanie for her reaction so she beats him down with slaps. Tom sells them like death to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. I’m a big sucker for the Slammy Awards but this didn’t do it for me. The big stars not being there to accept really crippled things and most of the award picks were fine, meaning there wasn’t much to get annoyed about. Cena being back next week will help and there are places they can go from here, but the show as a whole was really nothing great. That puts it WAY ahead of recent weeks though so it’s definitely not horrible, but still nothing I’m going to remember by the new year.
Results
Kane b. Bray Wyatt via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered
Wyatt Family b. Tommy Dreamer/Dudley Boyz/Kane – Discus lariat to D-Von
Kevin Owens b. Dolph Ziggler – Pop Up Powerbomb
Alberto Del Rio b. Jack Swagger – Top rope double stomp
Usos b. New Day – Rollup to Woods
Rusev b. Neville – Accolade
Becky Lynch b. Brie Bella – Disarm-Her
Dean Ambrose b. Sheamus – Ambrose escaped the cage
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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TNA One Night Only – World Cup Of Wrestling III: Someone Get Me JBL
TNA World Cup of Wrestling III
Date: August 5, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash
Dang it I knew I’d get back to these one day. For some reason (likely because no one likes them) these are getting harder and harder to find online and the best I can do is usually two and a half months after the air date. In this case it’s another team competition, which is usually one of the better ideas they have. There will be four teams of six wrestlers each. All of the teams are going to face each other once, plus a four way with each of the captains. The teams with the most points (1 point per win) meet in an elimination tag for the whole thing. Let’s get to it.
No opening video for a change.
It’s time for Jeremy Borash to waste a lot of time by holding the live draft. We open with the introductions of the four captains:
Bobby Roode
Eric Young
Ethan Carter III
Jeff Hardy
Josh rips on JB for reading off a clipboard but praises Carter despite him carrying one of his own. Also ignore the part where Josh says Carter will make a great World Champion, despite winning the title a month before this aired. ALSO ignore the fact that Hardy was out with a broken leg three months before this aired.
We keep wasting time with an opening statement from each captain. Ethan (with his arm in the big brace) says he’s been thinking about his loss last year at the World Cup and he can’t wait to make it up. Young doesn’t want to hear from the fans because he won this last year. Roode and Hardy keep it more simple by saying they’ll win.
Now here’s the thing: it’s going to take a LONG time to get through the picks so I’m not going to say “this person picked this person” step by step. Instead, here are the teams in full with the captains listed first:
Bobby Roode, Lashley, Austin Aries, Magnus, Mr. Anderson, Taryn Terrell
Ethan Carter III, Tyrus, James Storm, Awesome Kong, Jesse Godderz, Robbie E.
Eric Young, Bram, Abyss, Havok, Samuel Shaw, Manik
Jeff Hardy, Gunner, Davey Richards, Gail Kim, Crazzy Steve, Rockstar Spud
There were only two funny bits here: Carter picked Jeremy Borash first. Carter: “Just kidding it’s Tyrus.” Second, when Robbie came out, he danced around, kissed Kong, and shouted I’M NOT LAST!!! Also Josh thought Roode was going to pick Hornswoggle when he said from Green Bay, Wisconsin. As usual, Josh isn’t funny.
The picks are done but JB says the opening match still isn’t ready to start.
Quick rules explanation.
Bram vs. Austin Aries
The first opening bell: 28 minutes into the show, leaving us with about two hours and twelve minutes to get through ten matches. Aries is quickly dumped out to the floor and sent into the barricade as the announcers are actually still on topic. I give it ten minutes. Aries gets smart by taking out the knee as Josh is showing JB a photo of him at Manchester United’s stadium. Dang they didn’t even make it three minutes.
The Last Chancery sends Bram going to the ropes for a break and things settle down again. Bram stomps on the chest to break up a sunset flip attempt as about four fans chant ANGRY JESUS. Off to a chinlock on Aries for a bit before he grabs a second Last Chancery. So the first one was the next to Last Chancery?
Back up and Aries goes to the apron to send Bram face first into alternating buckles over and over. A missile dropkick sets up the running corner dropkick but Bram gets a boot up for a block. An Edge-O-Matic gets two for Bram and he starts pounding on Aries’ back for good measure. Bram slowly kicks at him and is quickly rolled up for the pin.
Rating: C. Not a bad match until a pretty slow ending. Aries continues to be one of the best acts in the company’s history and of course he’s now gone because they decided to keep going with Angle and Hardy on top instead of going back to him in the years since he lost the title.
Team Roode – 1
Team Young – 0
Team Hardy – 0
Team Carter – 0
EC3 lists off the members of his team and promises to win. Kong looks terrified when the BroMans (with DJZ) start talking. This is even more filler.
James Storm vs. Lashley
Storm has Khoya (Mahabali Shera) with him. Feeling out process to start with Storm dropping down for some pushups. He can’t throw Lashley around though so James bails to the floor and meets with Khoya. The instructions seem to work as Khoya grabs the leg, sending Lashley outside after him. That’s about it for the success as Lashley shoulders Storm down inside and rams him into the buckle a few times.
Khoya blocks a spear attempt and Storm finally takes over with a Backstabber. Storm’s enziguri starts a bad cowbell chant but Lashley fires off right hands to make his comeback. Neither finisher can hit and Storm gets two off a neckbreaker. A spinebuster should set up Lashley’s spear but another Khoya distraction….doesn’t matter as the spear connects to give Lashley the win.
Rating: D+. Now we’re getting into the standard One Night Only match formula: short matches that don’t have time to go anywhere and have no heat on them because they’re part of some big show long idea, meaning this really doesn’t mean a ton. You can feel the lack of caring in the crowd though and it’s not a good sign going forward.
Team Roode – 2
Team Young – 0
Team Hardy – 0
Team Carter – 0
Storm blames Khoya for the loss and demands that Khoya bow to him.
Roode thinks his team will win.
BroMans vs. Magnus/Mr. Anderson
Jesse and Magnus get things going with Magnus taking over off a wristlock. Anderson comes in and works on the arm as well until it’s off to Robbie, who walks into a hiptoss. The announcers debate game shows as Magnus gets two off a suplex. Some heel double teaming lets Jesse take over and he actually wins a slugout against Magnus. As you might expect, the announcers spent the segment trying to figure out what to call Magnus and Mickie James.
Robbie chinlocks Magnus for a bit before some elbows to the BroMans’ faces allow for the tag to Anderson. I can’t really call it hot as the fans didn’t seem to notice but it was in fact a tag. Everything breaks down but DJZ distracts the referee. Anderson goes after him and gets hairspray in the eyes, allowing Robbie to grab a rollup for the pin.
Rating: D. Worst match of the show so far but a lot of that is due to Anderson and Magnus having gone through the motions for the last year (or several years in Anderson’s case). That being said, the ending makes sense as former World Tag Team Champions should be able to beat a thrown together team with no history.
Team Roode – 2
Team Carter – 1
Team Young – 0
Team Hardy – 0
Young says his team will win.
Manik/Abyss vs. Rockstar Spud/Davey Richards
This could be decent. Davey and Manik trade some basic stuff to start before it’s off to Spud vs. Abyss. Spud goes right at him and has about as much success as you might expect. A middle rope forearm staggers Abyss but Spud has to bite his way out of a chokeslam attempt. Spud actually puts him down with a missile dropkick and Abyss looks stunned.
Manik tags himself in and gets punched out, only to have Abyss run both good guys over. It’s Spud in trouble now as JB talks about James Storm’s stable. Davey leads a KILL SPUD KILL chant as the Revolution guys take turns on chinlocks. The announcers make their picks for the whole competition. I’m kind of stunned that they’ve stayed on topic this long.
Spud crawls through Manik’s legs to make the tag off to Davey for the rapid fire kicks in the corner. Everything breaks down and the giant is sent to the floor, allowing Davey and Spud to double team Manik in the corner. Abyss takes a suicide dive from Davey, leaving Spud to hit the Underdog on Manik. A top rope double stomp gives Davey the easy pin.
Rating: C. Very simple idea here but the match worked well enough all around. Richards and Spud were a good underdog team and fought off a regular pairing. Abyss is good for a monster who can come in at any time and play his normal role as well as anyone else. Totally watchable match here which is as good as it gets around here.
Team Roode – 2
Team Carter – 1
Team Hardy – 1
Team Young – 0
Hardy says his team will win.
Crazzy Steve vs. Samuel Shaw
I’ve had nightmares about things like this before. Steve comes in with a zombie cymbal playing monkey around his neck. Shawn frames the monkey but Steve won’t let him touch it. The announcers talk about Brian Stiffler’s pierced nipples because of course they do. Now it’s off to a discussion of mall stores because they like Steve’s belt. Shaw shoves Steve down and crawls for the monkey but Steve crawls over as well and shakes his head no. The fans (save for one guy) are silent for most of this.
Steve bites Shaw’s face and it’s time to play hot potato with the monkey. Now Shaw crawls after the referee as Josh sings Taryn Terrell’s theme music. Shaw hates Steve and I hate the horrible punches that Steve uses for his comeback. With Steve down, Shaw picks up the monkey and goes up, only to miss a guillotine legdrop. Fans: “LET’S GO MONKEY!” Steve picks up the monkey but the referee takes it away, setting up a low blow and Shaw’s standing choke for the win.
Rating: F. A little over a year ago, Bully Ray and Rockstar Spud beat the Dirty Heels in the funniest match I’ve ever seen. That match worked because Ray and Spud work really well together as an oddball combination. It felt like they were told to go out there and be funny for ten minutes while being allowed to pick the details themselves. This felt like they were given a bad idea and had no idea how to make it work, which is why comedy in wrestling rarely works.
Team Roode – 2
Team Hardy – 1
Team Carter – 1
Team Young – 1
Havok vs. Awesome Kong
Hardcore (not announced to the crowd) because I don’t think anyone wants to see these two have a regular match. They start fighting in the aisle as you would expect them to as Kong takes over off a trashcan shot. Josh: “No need for Duke Droese here.” Havok’s weapon shots knock Kong into the ring but Kong goes all ninja by spinning a pipe around. That’s the coolest thing I’ve seen on these shows in forever.
Of course the fans want tables as Havok beats Kong down again. Here’s a ladder because these two don’t listen to the fans. Josh starts asking about having water infused with fruit. Seriously where does he get this stuff? Kong “chokeslams” Havok onto the ladder (read as she shoved Havok down) for the pin.
Rating: D-. I can’t call it a failure when it had the ninja stick thing from Kong but this was another match limited by the time. Then again these two have never had the chemistry that people expected from them. Granted that could be due to the fact that big power wrestlers like this ALMOST NEVER WORK WELL TOGETHER but people want to see it anyway for reasons I’ll never understand.
Team Roode – 2
Team Carter – 2
Team Hardy – 1
Team Young – 1
Josh thinks that leaderboard looks like Tiger Woods and Rory McIlroy on top of a golf tournament. I’d ask what that means but I’m sure it’s just me being an internet nerd.
Tyrus vs. Gunner
I had forgotten Gunner was a thing. Gunner charges right at the monster to start as Josh talks about Tyrus always being in the gym. I think he meant Gunner but who am I to doubt Josh Matthews? Tyrus slams him down and puts on a bearhug. Announcers’ topic: celebrities who Tyrus has worked for as a bodyguard, including Pete “Marinovich”.
I think Josh meant Maravich but…..dang he’s said so many stupid things tonight that I’m running out of insults. Gunner’s powerslam fails and it’s back to the bearhug. Josh keeps up his stupid namedropping and Gunner finally slams him. Josh: “Like when Hogan slammed Andre.” Not that it matters as the spike to the throat gives Tyrus the pin. Josh: “If Tyrus had been in Ford’s Theater that night, President Lincoln wouldn’t have been assassinated.” JB: “Yeah but he would be really old.”
Rating: D-. Another bad match as Josh has gone from annoying to obnoxious on commentary. I mean…..dang he sounds stupid with so many of the things he says. The commentary on these shows have always been a disaster and that’s the case here too. The match was bad again because they don’t have time to do anything and clearly don’t care in the slightest.
Team Carter – 3
Team Roode – 2
Team Young – 1
Team Hardy – 1
Taryn says she’s ready to compete like a champion.
Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell
Taryn grabs a headlock and headscissors to start as they seem to actually be trying more than anyone has in the last few matches. Gail gets up and sends her face first into the buckle, which Josh says we can experience by running into a tree backwards. Both women crash out to the floor as Josh talks about subliminal messages based on the IMPACT ring skirts. They can’t even afford a ONE NIGHT ONLY ring skirt to make this seem a bit more important? I mean, it looks like the least important show ever so it can’t be that difficult.
Now we debate whether counting for a DQ should count towards a countout as Taryn grabs a half crab. The silence from the crowd here is borderline eerie. Josh: “What’d you have for lunch today?” Taryn’s middle rope clothesline gets two as Josh writes the foreword to JB’s book. Gail misses a charge and hits the floor again but Russian legsweeps Taryn into the barricade. You would think she would be smarter than that, being a WRESTLER and all. Back in and Taryn fires off some clotheslines, showing some of the better fire all night. Gail ducks a high cross body though and counters the Taryn Cutter into a rollup for the pin.
Rating: C+. Maybe it’s Taryn being gorgeous, maybe it’s the idea of Jeremy Borash book actually sounding appealing or maybe it’s the effort put in here for a change but this was one of the more entertaining matches on the show so far. Of course that’s on a sliding scale because this show is another disaster that is clearly just here to fill in a slow but take what you can get.
Team Carter – 3
Team Roode – 2
Team Hardy – 2
Team Young – 1
Roode promises he’ll win the captains match.
Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III
One fall to a finish and no tags to start which makes things even better. Josh incorrectly says Team Young is mathematically eliminated from going to the finals as everyone goes after Eric in the corner. Carter and Young are sent to the floor, leaving Roode to work on Hardy’s arm. The taping schedule becomes an issue again here as Josh goes on a rant about how Carter should be World Champion already.
Carter comes back in and switches places with Roode, leaving Josh to insult JB for trying to be British. A belly to belly gets Eric a two count on Hardy and Josh freaks out that Carter is bleeding. With Roode still nowhere to be seen, Carter and Young start arguing over who is going to pin Hardy. In other words, it’s the same uninspired stuff you’ve seen every single time you watch a multi-man match.
Roode comes back in with some running clotheslines but Carter breaks up the comeback. Hardy breaks up a piledriver attempt from Young so Eric piledrives Roode instead. Back up and Eric bites Hardy’s head, actually not drawing any jokes from Josh. With Roode and Carter fighting on the floor, Hardy hits a quick Twist of Fate to pin Young.
Rating: C. The star power helped but this was every multi-man match you’ve seen in a very long time. Hardy going to the finals was pretty obvious and at least the fans reacted a little bit for the pin. Young losing is almost always a good thing to see as well but this was just a dull match that has been covered to death already.
Team Carter – 3
Team Hardy – 3
Team Roode – 2
Team Young – 1
Carter beats Hardy down post match.
Long recap of the whole show thus far.
Team Hardy vs. Team Carter
Jeff Hardy, Rockstar Spud, Davey Richards, Gail Kim, Crazzy Steve, Gunner
Ethan Carter III, Tyrus, Robbie E., Jesse Godderz, James Storm, Awesome Kong
Survivor Series rules, Storm has Khoya with him and Carter has written HARDY on the bandage over his head. The bell rings but Team Carter is still huddling, allowing Khoya to slip Storm a weapon. Hardy and Carter start things off so Carter tags out to Robbie before any contact. That’s another idea that we’ve seen a hundred times and it’s just as tired as it’s always been.
One shot sends Robbie off to Godderz for a tag as we’re already two minutes into this. Gunner comes in and we finally get a lockup. One shoulder sends Jesse bailing to the corner and it’s off to Carter. That goes nowhere either and it’s off to Tyrus because we didn’t see enough of this match earlier. Just like earlier, Tyrus takes him into the corner and it’s off to Storm……who tags Kong in fifteen seconds later.
Before she can even get both feet in the ring, Jesse tags himself back in. Oh and how lucky we are as we get to see Steve. Wristlocks are exchanged and Steve mostly headscissors him over, giving him the move of the match so far. Now it’s off to Richards vs. Tyrus and FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY STEVE COMES BACK IN AGAIN. Just freaking wrestle already! Thankfully Tyrus spikes Steve down for the first elimination. Gail comes in and says she wants Kong.
We get the Knockouts showdown and things are instantly more interesting as they do the same stuff they’ve done a dozen times. Kong gets dropkicked to the floor and they brawl up towards the stage for a double countout. It’s Robbie vs. Davey with Richards scoring a modified Crossface for the submission in less than a minute. Jesse comes in and gets headbutted by Gunner and Davey.
A slingshot suplex from Gunner brings in Spud, who is quickly gorilla pressed (read as Jesse lifts him up and moves his arms a bit) about fifteen times in a row, only to have Spud roll him up for the pin. Tyrus comes in for a head vice and the submission from Spud, followed by Hardy rolling Tyrus up for another pin. As you might expect, Josh doesn’t get that Spud was knocked out and thought he tagged Hardy despite not being within ten feet of him. Those eliminations all came in about thirty seconds.
We’re down to Hardy, Davey and Gunner vs. Storm and Carter. Gunner starts working on Storm’s shoulder but Storm hits a quick Last Call to tie things up. Davey rolls Storm up for two and the kickout sends him head first into whatever Khoya had slipped to Carter, giving Ethan another elimination. It’s Hardy vs. Storm/Carter with Jeff pounding away on the captain in the corner.
The Whisper in the Wind mostly misses Storm so Ethan drops Jeff again. Ethan pops up and hits Hardy with the big metal brace on his arm for a DQ elimination. Storm only gets two but he superkicks Jeff on top. It doesn’t knock Jeff out though as he throws Storm down, kicks Khoya away, and drops the Swanton for the pin and the victory.
Rating: D-. As you might have expected, TNA screwed this part up too as they went through eleven eliminations in the span of just over ten minutes because they had to keep up that stupid “no you’re it” nonsense to start. This was yet another uninteresting match with little drama and nothing I’m ever going to remember. Boring stuff, as I think all the fans knew were coming.
As soon as the pin goes down, Josh shouts about how Ethan wasn’t pinned because that’s the most important thing on the show.
The trophy presentation and a recap video wrap things up.
Overall Rating: F-. I know we talk about JBL, Cole and the rest of the WWE announcers being annoying and they’re valid complaints. However, Josh Matthews makes them seem like the patron saints of broadcasting. I cannot remember a time where I sat through a wrestling show wanting to scream at an announcer for all of the stupid, unprofessional, self serving, not funny and downright horrendous things he spent this show going on about.
I get that TNA doesn’t care about these shows, but at least the drivel that the commentators spew serves some purpose other than the amusement of one person. Matthews is following in Tazz’s footsteps on these shows and it’s somehow making them even worse. The wrestling was totally uninspired and dull but Matthews’ commentary made it that much harder to sit through, which continues to make these things the most grueling shows I’ve ever had to sit through. Act like professionals already and maybe you won’t keep getting bounced from one network to another. Or just fire Josh already.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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Thunder – July 26, 2000: More Painful Than A Shovel To The Head
Thunder
Date: July 26, 2000
Location: Wheeling Civic Center, Wheeling, West Virginia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Mark Madden
The Russo style is back in full force, meaning it’s time for this show to fall through the floor all over again. We’re coming up on New Blood Rising and other than the main event, it’s hard to say what kind of nonsense is going to take place there. These shows are starting to make less and less sense every week but you have to expect that when a nitwit is on top. Let’s get to it.
The Cat is standing by his limo when the Jung Dragons attack, this time with a sledgehammer. Yang smashes the window by mistake and Smooth the limo driver freaks out. Cat gives him a 3-1 match later tonight.
3 Count vs. Juventud Guerrera/Rey Mysterio
Evan is out with a knee injury but before we get going, Tank wants a dance contest against Konnan and Disco. It’s just a ruse though and the fight is on quickly. Shannon gets two on Rey off a springboard cross body but here are the Jung Dragons to interfere. We settle down to Juvy…..possibly countering a German suplex. He was supposed to flip over and land on his feet but didn’t get all the way over, making it unclear if he got hurt or not.
Rey springboards in with a clothesline for two as Tony talks about Latino style being very hot in popular music. Shannon drops Rey with a sleeper drop for two but the Animals come back with something like What’s Up, only with a legdrop instead of a headbutt. Everything breaks down and a Samoan drop/neckbreaker combination gets two on Rey, only to have Shannon take the Juvy Driver and 450 for the pin.
Rating: C+. So we have these two fun teams but we’re getting people like the Perfect Event in the title match. The Animals may be incredibly annoying but at the same time they can still go this well in the ring. On top of that, why are none of these guys going after the Cruiserweight Title? Why are we stuck with the nonsense we’ve had to see for all these months? We’ll go with “because WCW” and move on.
Here’s Booker T. with something to say. He doesn’t like Goldberg but after Monday he has to respect him. However, Goldberg needs to save the trauma (yes trauma) for his mama. These are his people here and he’ll die in this ring to defend his title. Cue Jeff Jarrett to say he wants a lights out, unsanctioned match against Booker tonight with the title NOT on the line to protect Cat’s pay per view main event. The fight is on and Tony says there’s no holding them back as security holds them back. So we have Goldberg, Scott Steiner and even Kevin Nash waiting to challenge Booker but we’re getting Jeff Jarrett? Really?
Post break Cat makes the match but threatens to beat up Booker and Jarrett if they don’t calm down.
Miss Hancock wants to arm wrestle Major Gunns tonight.
The Artist vs. Skip Over
That would be Elix Skipper and for reasons I’ve never been able to explain, I’ve always been a big fan. Artist superkicks him at the bell as Tenay calls Skip part of the new blood (not the New Blood of course). Over spin kicks Artist in the face and hits a nice looking missile dropkick. Artist grabs a northern lights suplex for two of his own, followed by an Angle Slam.
Since this is a meaningless match against a rookie, Artist needs a chair. Skip baseball slides it into his face but Artist pops right back up. Paisley tries to hand him the chair but Kwee Wee comes out to lure her away. So much for that idea. Back in the ring, the chair has disappeared and Over takes Artist down with a springboard spinwheel kick. The Overdrive (That ridiculous spinning Fameasser thing. I’m still not sure how that’s supposed to be a finishing move.) gives Over the upset.
Rating: D+. Fun little match here but as usual it’s bogged down by all the other stuff going on at the same time. The Paisley/Kwee Wee stuff needs to go somewhere already. Not that it’s been a long, drawn out story but more along the lines of the faster that happens, the faster we can get Artist off TV.
MIA is in the back and Gene looks at Major Gunns’ chest. See it’s funny because he’s old.
Judy Bagwell drags Buff Bagwell away by the ear so they can go find the Cat. I guess this is supposed to be funny too.
M.I. Smooth vs. Jung Dragons
As usual, Mark keeps saying “last night” to refer to Monday, as in two days earlier. During the entrances, Tony says Goldberg can’t make his scheduled appearance. Instead: Lance Storm and Mike Awesome. Oh I’m sure the fans are going to be thrilled. Like all three of them who show up. Smooth is in a shirt and tie and the Dragons stomp him down for three straight near falls. Jamie and Kaz are sent to the floor, leaving Smooth to powerslam and full nelson bomb Jamie for the pin.
So let’s stop for a second here and look at what we’re supposed to just accept here: Smooth, a non-wrestler (yes I know he was Ice Train but that’s never mentioned here) just happened to debut here, wore street clothes, had theme music, knew wrestling moves, and beat a team in a featured pay per view match completely clean in under two minutes.
We’re supposed to just go with this and then pay to see the Dragons, who are more guys who should be in the Cruiserweight Title hunt, at New Blood Rising. You can blame a lot of things for WCW going under, but this is the kind of thing that really should be near the top of the list. These things happened WAY too often around here and the fans are just supposed to go with them. At some point the fans are going to get tired of having their intelligence insulted and watch something else. WCW reached that point a long time ago and it’s a big reason why they’re not around today.
The Bagwells come into Cat’s office and Judy says she can be the solution to the ratings problem. Cat gives her the match she wants, whatever that is. Another reason this company is a mess right now: middle aged women coming in off the street and talking about ratings like they’re something people discuss in casual conversation. I write about wrestling for a living and I barely discuss ratings with my wrestling friends, let alone some random person I strike up a chat with at Wal-Mart. As usual, Russo and Ferrara or whoever is writing this show has no idea how normal people talk in real life and it sounds really awkward.
It’s time for arm wrestling and I’ll let you fill in most of the details here. Hancock is in a red shirt here and takes off the jacket for a change. David Flair is guest referee for the sake of comedy and makes sure to cheat to help Hancock win. Gunns freaks out so Hancock sprays hairspray in her face. There goes Gunns’ top but the Wall, now in MIA gear, comes out to chokeslam Flair. He talks to the blind Gunns and says “it’s me, it’s me” (that D-O-Double G?) to calm her down.
Kanyon says he needs to find a Kimberly. Judy is feeling the BANG tonight though.
The MIA rename the Wall as A-Wall (that’s actually kind of clever) and shave his head.
Muta and Vampiro have beaten down Kronik.
Great Muta/Vampiro vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak
This is the result of Muta and Vampiro issuing an open challenge. O’Haire starts with Muta and takes him down with a dropkick off those long legs of his. Vampiro and Jindrak fight on the floor before coming in, which I guess counts as a double tag in this match. Jindrak kicks him in the face and brings Sean back in for a clothesline.
It’s already back to Jindrak so Muta comes in and kicks him a few times before officially coming in off the tag. The refereeing sucks around here. The heels pound away on Jindrak for a bit until he snaps off a powerslam and tags in Sean to clean house. Muta will have none of that and snaps off a dragon screw legwhip before twisting on the knee to make Sean tap. Too short to rate but it was energetic while it lasted.
Post match Demon comes out to help with the beatdown but Kronik makes the save and hurts people.
Judy puts Buff in a room and tells him to stay there. What in the world did Buff do to deserve this story?
Big Vito wants a rematch with Lance Storm.
Judy Bagwell vs. Kanyon
After Judy comes out to Buff’s pyro and Madden reminds us that she used to be a World Tag Team Champion (gah), Kanyon says he’s Diamond Cut her already. Tonight though, it’s going to be the Kanyon Cutter so Judy needs to leave before this gets bad. The match starts and it’s a bunch of shoving and slapping until Kanyon grabs her for the Kanyon Cutter. This brings out Buff, who is told to stay in the aisle or his mom gets hurt. Kanyon wants a match at New Blood Rising and if Judy wins, she’s Kanyon’s Kimberly. Buff agrees and the camera cuts away as Kanyon lays her out (thanks to TBS).
Shane Douglas and Torrie Wilson talk about the G-rated tape from Monday.
Kidman has another tape.
Kanyon is driving away, gets out and Kanyon Cuts a guard, then leaves. Funniest thing on the show by about a mile so far.
Here are Torrie and Shane with Torrie being annoyed at Kidman for what he did on Monday. Torrie: “Do you know what kind of a position you put me in?” Shane says play the new tape and it’s the two of them sitting on a bed. Shane apologizes over and over again for “performance issues” and they storm out of the ring.
Storm says he’ll give Vito a Hardcore Title match with no weapons allowed.
Shane leaves to get some air when Kidman comes up to laugh at Torrie. This is of course stupid and Shane beats Kidman down.
Hardcore Title: Lance Storm vs. Big Vito
Vito is challenging and jumps Storm during O Canada, sending Madden into hysterics again. The usual low level offense sends Storm outside and it’s a superkick and kind of fall away slam for two on the champ. A good looking top rope elbow gets two for Vito and the referee gets bumped, allowing Storm to hit Vito with a chair for two. Vito comes right back with a German suplex and clothesline but Storm calmly grabs the Maple Leaf for the submission to retain. Again too short to rate but Vito comes off as a guy who tries when he’s out there.
Awesome runs in and lays out Storm.
Just like last week with Nash, here’s a sitdown interview with Goldberg. First up is Hall blaming Goldberg for Scott Hall being gone but Goldberg really doesn’t care what Nash says. The Outsiders wanted Goldberg on their side because they knew he was going to be a big deal. Nash has no appreciation for the fans but Goldberg does everything he does for the fans. As a heel remember. Hudson: “For the last few months you’ve played the heel for World Championship Wrestling.” Goldberg says he hasn’t been comfortable with it because that’s not who he is.
Someone thought turning him heel was a good idea that might help the ratings but it’s totally against what Goldberg is. With his eyes bugging out but in the same voice, Goldberg wants to refute what Nash said last week. The last thing he thought he was going to do was be a wrestler because he wanted to be a pro football player. Now he has a chance to give back to the fans. He can shake a sick kid’s hand and give them a smile which is worth more than anything else he could get. Goldberg: “Nash is right. I don’t love this sport.”
Hudson calls the work with the kids paying his dues. Goldberg says Nash has “paid his dues” for fifteen years and he won’t ever be in the spot Goldberg reached in three years. Amen brother. Goldberg brings up Nash breaking the Streak two weeks after Nash got on the booking committee. Hudson brings up the three way at New Blood Rising and Goldberg says his immediate goal is to make Nash suffer for all the damage Nash has done to his career.
What Goldberg is doing right now is taking one for the team instead of what he wants to be doing. When a promoter is looking at a card, he doesn’t care about paying dues because it’s all about who is going to draw the most money. All it means is that he’s the right character and the right person to see this through. Hall and Nash didn’t pop the business like he and Hogan did. Hogan, Flair and Arn Anderson made this business what it is today. I love Arn but that’s more of a stretch than I can handle.
The only way Nash is winning in Vancouver is to put himself back on that booking committee because Goldberg is going to kill him. Nash saying he doesn’t care what the bookers say sounds like a challenge because Nash can’t run away on those old knees of his. Goldberg recommends ice and Advil because Nash is going to need them. That wraps things up with no mention of Booker T. and Monday’s match whatsoever.
…….WOW. Just like last week, this would have been one heck of a shoot interview. If this had been from RF Video or something like that, it would be really entertaining to listen to. The problem is THIS IS A MAJOR WRESTLING SHOW. Think back with me to CM Punk’s Pipe Bomb. Punk ranted about how Cena was just an act and how he was being held back, but it was all building to a wrestling match, not some scripted deal where they may or may not do what the bookers (more on that in a second) told them to do.
This brings us to the big problem that was there last week: how many fans knew what was going on? Serious question: how many fans watching this heard the word “booker” and thought they were talking about Booker T.? I know it sounds stupid today but is it really that much of a stretch?
This is more of Russo trying to make himself sound smart and thinking that EVERYONE is on Meltzer’s mailing list in July 2000 because he reads that stuff every five minutes. This probably went over the heads of 98% of fans and it’s really annoying to sit through these ten minute interviews to set up a match that is going to suck because Nash is involved and can barely do anything. But hey, they’re WORKING US and that’s what matters, even if no one but them cares.
Madden: “So no matter what the creative committee tells Nash, Goldberg and Steiner, they’re just going to do what they want?” Oh screw off WCW. Good grief man. Like I said: Punk vs. Cena came together in a wrestling match, not some thing where they were going off script. Mainly because THEY NEVER SAID THEY HAD A SCRIPT because that’s the stupidest thing you can do in a wrestling promotion.
Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarrett
Non-title and anything goes. Jeff has a Sting style trench coat on for no logical reason. Cat is on commentary and says he’s not Commissioner at this point, though he insists Madden call him Commissioner. This is billed as a Bunkhouse Brawl because we’re all cowboys who love to ride horses. They brawl into the crowd to start with Booker in control until Jeff hits him in the head with a shovel. Tony tries to call it but Cat cuts him off to announce Sting vs. Booker T. for the title on Monday.
Amazingly enough Booker isn’t dead after BEING HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A SHOVEL so Jeff puts him in a wheelbarrow and rams him into the barricade. Back in and Booker chokes with a bullrope but Jeff hits him in the face with….something made of metal. A middle rope guitar shot misses (Tony: “This pales in comparison to being hit in the head with a shovel.” I actually stopped the video and shouted “WHAT???” at the screen when Tony said that. Ignoring that it’s a breakaway guitar, METAL IS A LOT HARDER THAN WOOD YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!) but Jeff starts choking with the bullrope.
Cat stays on his ratings kick as Jeff chokes Booker with a rope for two arm drops. Booker fights up and hits the spinning forearm as Tony admits that Booker is a superhero. The ax kick and a Spinarooni connect but Jeff guitars the bad knee and puts on the Figure Four with Booker hanging over the apron. Booker passes out from the pain. Well in theory at least as he was still conscious and didn’t say he gave up but the referee stopped it anyway.
Rating: D. It’s not often in my life as a fan that I’m disgusted by how stupid something is but that’s what happened here. This was giving away what wasn’t going to be an interesting main event in the first place and having them use a bunch of weapons before we get the boring version in a few weeks. Oh and make sure the champion loses because that’s going to draw interest in the rematch.
I looked at Jeff after the match and my goodness the level of not caring went through the roof. He’s just so uninteresting in this role and unfortunately we’re stuck because Russo, the undisputed king of insanity and over the top booking, thinks the most generic heel in forever is worth pushing on top.
Overall Rating: F. Let me make this clear: there was good stuff on this show. The opener was fun and some of the Kanyon stuff was amusing. If you take those parts on their own, you would have had a pretty entertaining show and WCW would have come off looking a lot stronger than they did coming into this week. However, there was a lot of other stuff this week too.
I know I often talk about WCW acting like its fans are stupid. However, in this case, it felt worse than ever. This actually felt like they wanted me to be angry at them and walk off, never to watch again. Between the Goldberg shoot, a shovel to the head not putting someone down for more than twenty seconds, Kanyon suddenly wanting Judy Bagwell as his valet, everyone (and their mother in this case) talking about ratings and a man having performance issues, I felt like I was watching the kind of show that non-wrestling fans pretend all wrestling is to make fun of it.
That’s what Thunder and WCW as a whole have become: juvenile, unfunny people making fun of wrestling because they want to laugh instead of trying to take this seriously. This felt like a parody of a wrestling promotion but it still wasn’t funny. What is there on here that makes me want to come back? I’m not seeing it anywhere and I really don’t want to see where things go from here.
It’s not funny anymore and I don’t know why people would think it’s going to get any better from here on out. More than anything else, that makes me sad, because it feels like the people in charge are glad it’s going under because it makes them feel better about whatever is going on in their lives. This really is a case of people treating this place like a playground and not caring at all what happens to anyone as long as they get a good laugh at our expense. Enjoy what you’re getting WCW, because this is all on you.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
I’m Not Sure What Happened
The site was gone all Saturday and then just randomly came back up really late Saturday night. I have no idea how it’s back as I didn’t do anything to it but it’s back for now. I can’t guarantee it won’t go down again but I’ll have a better idea of how to get it fixed by then. Thank you for your patience.
KB