Monday Nitro – July 18, 2000: The Way To Make Russo Work

Monday Nitro #249
Date: July 18, 2000
Location: Palace of Auburn Hills, Auburn Hills, Michigan
Commentators: Mark Madden, Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone

As is so often the case in WCW 2000, I can barely remember what happened last week. It took me a bit before I could remember that Jeff Jarrett won the #1 contenders match while Scott Steiner is on a rampage. I really shouldn’t forget the whole story in the span of just a week but almost nothing has a lasting impact around here. Let’s get to it.

This show is on a Tuesday because of a TV movie. It’s not even the NBA anymore.

We open with a recap of Scott Steiner being all insane lately, including the attack on Tenay which we can’t see in full (though we can see a package of stills which show you everything you need to know). Apparently Steiner has been suspended again.

Cut to Scott Steiner in the parking lot, attacking Booker T.’s new car with a pipe until Rick Steiner talks him down.

Nitro Girls. I didn’t know they were still a thing.

Here’s the Cat to open things up and he brings the Nitro Girls with him. Cat gets right to the point by announcing a one night tournament for the US Title. He runs down the brackets but before we can get to the first match, there are some rules for the fans. They can’t get too loud and the fat people need to stay in their seats to make sure people behind them can see.

We see the Steiners ripping up everything in the back on the way to the ring, sending the Girls running off. Here are Rick and Scott (who walk past the Girls, whose hiding place was RIGHT NEXT TO THE ENTRANCE) with Scott choking Cat and demanding a title shot. Booker hits the ring so here are Rick and Stevie to follow, triggering a huge brawl. Security breaks it up and Cat makes Scott vs. Goldberg for tonight.

Buff and Judy Bagwell are here with Judy in a neck brace. Why did Buff bring her again? Can’t he make his sandwiches by himself already?

The announcers talk until Jeff Jarrett jumps the barricade and guitars Stevie. Jeff calls that a warning shot.

US Title Tournament First Round: Positively Kanyon vs. Mike Awesome

During the entrances, Madden dubs Awesome the Fat Chick Thriller. So much for Awesome ever meaning anything again. The Bagwells come out to do commentary as Awesome takes over to start with a top rope clothesline. A nice fireman’s carry flapjack puts Mike down but he punches Kanyon out to the floor for a big plancha over the top. Guys his size should not be able to do that. Like…..they just shouldn’t. It’s already table time but Kanyon drives him through it with a Kanyon Cutter off the apron.

Kanyon goes over to Buff though, allowing Judy to go after Kanyon instead. She gets thrown down again (more man on woman violence so you know Russo is back in charge), allowing Buff to grab a quick Blockbuster and letting his mom just deal with the attack on her own. That’s STILL not enough for the pin though so Awesome grabs a release German suplex and the Awesome Bomb for the pin to advance.

Rating: D. Under five minutes and we had guest commentators, a table spot (which wasn’t a DQ of course), Kanyon beating up Judy Bagwell again, interference, and a near fall off the interference. Oh and it’s in a tournament. This is back to WCW’s old stuff back in the spring because……yeah I’m tired of ripping on Russo for the same stuff. I’m sure you get it by this point.

Post match some large underwear are thrown into the ring for Awesome. This is sad. So sad.

Pamela Paulshock hits on Lance Storm but he is too focused on the tournament.

Buff sends Judy away with his brother, who doesn’t ask why she’s here in the first place.

US Title Tournament First Round: Buff Bagwell vs. Lance Storm

Before the match, Storm yells at the fans for not respecting his national anthem and not understanding that Canada is just better than the United States. Buff won’t stand for this Canadian national anthem nonsense and jumps Storm from behind to start. Storm comes back with an elbow but quickly gets backdropped down again. The Blockbuster is loaded up but we cut to the parking lot where Judy is being helped into her car. Lance uses the distraction to grab the Maple Leaf for the win. I won’t say submission as Bagwell didn’t tap and he didn’t look to say he gave up but whatever.

Buff limps to the back as we hear screaming, despite the video not airing on the video screen.

Cat has one of the Nitro Girls in his office when the Jung Dragons appear again. Stevie Ray comes in to help but Cat says they’re friends. As confused as that makes him (how can you tell with Stevie though?), Stevie just wants Jarrett tonight. Cat says ok, as long as Stevie lets him play with the Dragons.

We see security footage of Kanyon Cutting Judy Bagwell in the parking lot. Well grabbing her and dragging her off camera but you get the idea.

Scott Steiner is sitting by the door with a pipe in his hand.

US Title Tournament First Round: Great Muta vs. Vampiro

We actually see some clips from Muta’s run in the early 90s, which continues to make me wonder how WCW reached this point. They used to be awesome. Speaking of things that used to be awesome, this in no way applies to the Insane Clown Posse who return with Vampiro here. Muta kicks all three of them down to start but the numbers, including the Demon, are too much for him and it’s Vampiro taking over with some kicks.

A top rope flip dive misses though and it’s Muta coming back with the Power Drive elbow. Muta starts in on the arm and shrugs off a quick Rock Bottom. There’s the dragon screw leg whip but Muta has to deal with Demon. The distraction doesn’t work though and the moonsault puts Vampiro away.

Rating: C-. It’s hard not to like Muta at least a little bit as the guy is just good at any age. Vampiro was better here as he kept things moving instead of doing all his stupid over the top nonsense that doesn’t go anywhere because Undertaker and Kane haven’t done enough lately for Russo to copy. This was another match too short to mean much but that’s what you have to expect when there are seven tournament matches plus other stuff to get through in two hours.

Post match Vampiro and the Clowns beat up the Demon. So they’re split again?

Scott beats up Norman Smiley and Ralphus. Steiner: “TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!”

US Title Tournament First Round: Shane Douglas vs. Billy Kidman

Before the match, Shane says he and Torrie (in lingerie here) have been getting to know each other lately and he’s exhausted. Shane asks if it’s worse to have a woman like Torrie and lose her to a franchise or never have one at all. Torrie feels sorry for Kidman because she had to fake it every night and then she played him for everything he had. Wait what did he have? She played him for some undershirts?

Shane takes over to start with a gordbuster and reverse Hennig neck snap. Kidman comes right back and baseball slides him into the barricade but stops to go after Torrie. Back in and Torrie trips Kidman to set up the Pittsburgh Plunge for two. Kidman sends Shane into Torrie for the same, followed by Torrie hitting Kidman in the head with a chair for two more (and with Kidman’s leg being halfway under the rope).

Shane tries a gorilla press and Kidman was supposed to turn it into a bulldog but Kidman mostly missed his head. To be fair though, Shane’s head only got about a foot away from the mat anyway so both are at fault. Back up and a quick Franchiser gets……the pin after the referee wasn’t sure if it was three or not.

Rating: D+. Again, way too much stuff going on here but at least some of the near falls were good and Torrie looked amazing. Kidman continues to be one of the best gems on the roster who unfortunately isn’t going anywhere because WCW has no idea what to do with anyone right now.

Here are the updated brackets:

Mike Awesome

Great Muta

Lance Storm

Shane Douglas

Torrie and Shane make out in the ring but we cut to 3 Count carrying a ladder, followed by cutting to Goldberg arriving. This happened in the span of ten seconds.

Steiner is still waiting for Goldberg.

Here’s Tank Abbott to say N’Sync is playing to no one down the road in the Silverdome because the real deal is here. 3 Count brings out their ladder and there’s a gold record hanging above the ring. Tony: “At New Blood Rising, 3 Count is signed to face the Jung Dragons in a ladder match.” 3 Count dances but the Dragons climb the ladder and a match is on.

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

Yeah remember the ladder match announced for the pay per view? Well here it is almost a month before the show. 3 Count puts the ladder on the top rope but Yang dropkicks it out from under Shannon for a big crash. Shannon gets superplexed off the ladder, setting up a top rope splash from Jamie.

Shane comes in with a top rope Fameasser for Jamie and now it’s Evan with the ladder around his head for the helicopter spot. Tank wants the match to be over so it’s time to dance. He can’t wait any longer and goes to get his square. Evan goes up but the ladder gets shoved over, landing him right next to Tank for a bad looking crash. In the melee, Jamie goes up and gets the gold record for the win.

Rating: C-. Unless TNA broke it later, that’s the shortest ladder match in history, clocking in at 3:18. What am I supposed to say about a ladder match that doesn’t even break 200 seconds? There were some good looking high spots (nothing approaching what the WWF had been doing in the past 11 months of course) but what can you do in less than three and a half minutes? Oh well, maybe the rematch in a month will be better.

Goldberg comes into the building and Steiner misses a pipe swing. The fight is on until security and wrestlers break it up.

Back from a break and Scott is ticked off with Rick trying to calm him down.

US Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Mike Awesome vs. Great Muta

Awesome runs him over to start and pounds away in the corner until he misses a charge. Muta dropkicks Awesome out to the floor as Madden says these two are very similar. A trip to the announcers’ table goes nowhere but Muta sprays the mist in Awesome’s eyes. Back inside and Mike gets kicked into the corner again, followed by a top rope hurricanrana. A quick clothesline and the Awesome Bomb send Mike to the finals in a finish as quick and sudden as it sounded.

Rating: C-. Another not great match here due to the amount of time it had. Muta vs. Awesome could be good if they were allowed to do something but instead they had to fly through it and put WAY too much attention on Madden being freaked out over the brawling at the announcers’ table.

Madden wobbles off to change his shirt.

Bagwell goes after Smooth for helping with the attack on his mom but Kanyon jumps him from behind.

Madden tries to get Kiwi to clean his shirt but Kiwi is too busy. Paisley comes in and tries to get her skirt repaired but again Kiwi is too busy.

US Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Shane Douglas vs. Lance Storm

This would be the heel vs. heel match after the face vs. face match in the other semi-final. Storm backdrops him to the floor to start so Torrie jumps on Lance’s back to give Shane an opening. An atomic drop into a low blow has Storm in trouble and a neck snap gets two. Madden is back on commentary as Shane gets two more off two suplex into a falcon’s arrow.

Kidman is watching on the stage as Storm kicks at the leg to make his comeback. Lance gets two off a superkick but walks into a belly to belly. The knee gives out though and Shane’s delayed cover only gets another two. Storm pokes him in the eye (that’s rather out of character) and grabs the Maple Leaf (and a rope) for the submission.

Rating: C. What is with Shane having back to back good (in WCW terms) matches here? Storm going forward is the right call and it’s cool to see him cheat like that so he can brag about being such a great pure wrestler. Shane and Kidman are likely going to have a bad match at the pay per view but if it means I have to look at Torrie more and more, so be it.

Post match Kidman comes down with a chair and tries to spank Torrie but has to dropkick the chair into Storm’s face instead.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Stevie Ray

Stevie is halfway down the aisle by the time his music starts. A powerslam puts Jeff down and Stevie hammers away in the corner. He’s still wearing the NWO colors, likely because he’s barely had a singles match since his version of the team split up. They head to the floor for a bit with Jeff taking over and punching him down back inside. Stevie comes back but here’s Rick Steiner for a distraction, allowing Midajah to come in and dive on Stevie, allowing a quick Stroke to give Jeff the pin.

Booker comes out to save his brother. Now in a smart world, we would get Steiners vs. Harlem Heat one more time out of this.

US Title: Lance Storm vs. Mike Awesome

Awesome breaks up the national anthem by calling O Canada a censored name. They start in the aisle with Awesome whipping Storm into the barricade about five times in a row. There’s a chair to Storm’s back and Awesome smiles at the overweight women in the front row. They get in and Storm hits a chair shot of his own to take over. Storm chops away in the corner but Awesome no sells, only to have Storm poke him in the eye (that’s straight out of Sting vs. Flair).

Storm’s hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two but the Awesome Splash hits knees. Mike grabs the rope (I think) to block a tornado DDT and loads up a super Awesome Bomb. Since that might kill Storm, he counters into a superplex for two. The regular Awesome Bomb is countered into the Maple Leaf to give Storm the title completely clean.

Rating: C+. Best match of the show by far and also the longest, though I’m sure there’s absolutely no connection there whatsoever. Storm winning clean is interesting as it lets him look like the better man instead of having him cheat to win. Then again, that could be due to Russo not knowing how to write characters.

Mike’s women come in to help him up, making sure the focus is completely off Storm and the title for the sake of unfunny comedy.

Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner

Cat is guest referee and Booker comes out to do commentary. Steiner knees him into the corner to start and drops Goldberg with a single clothesline to a big reaction. Back up and Goldberg suplexes him into the corner but has to put the brakes on when Steiner avoids the spear. Instead a flying shoulder drops Steiner, followed by the gorilla press into the powerslam for no cover. An overhead belly to belly sets up the Recliner but Steiner punches Cat instead of sticking with the hold. We’ll say that’s enough for a no contest, leaving this too short to rate but fun while it lasted.

This draws in Booker to go after Steiner but Goldberg spears Scott down. Booker kicks Goldberg in the face and here’s Kevin Nash in his big return. There’s a Jackknife to Goldberg and another one for Steiner. Booker stares Nash down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is proof that a few tweaks to Russo’s formula could have made something happen. In this case, it was cutting down on the amount of stories and ideas that he had going on every show and only focusing on a handful of things. With the tournament and the impending Goldberg vs. Steiner showdown, I could focus on a few ideas and they actually sunk in for a change instead of flying from one story to the next with nothing making an impact. The show still isn’t good, but this was the kind of thing that could work with some more fine tuning.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Raw Ratings Still Suck

http://www.wrestlezone.com/news/650007-wwes-ratings-decline-continues-this-weeks-raw-draws-near-record-low-viewership

In this case, it’s really not hard to figure out why.  Last night was all about trying to keep the fans watching during the start of Monday Night Football, but why would I keep watching for a brawl, as in not a match, as the big showdown at the end of the show?  The Wyatts interrupting the League was really interesting and then the Wyatts were out first at the hands of Tommy Dreamer, thereby ending the Wyatts’ interaction with the League for the night.

In other words: potential at the start, then back to the same boring stuff they’ve done for weeks now.




Coca Cola Sponsoring the Slammy Awards and Tribute to the Troops

http://411mania.com/wrestling/wwe-news-company-scores-major-sponsorship-signs-new-toy-deal/

 

That’s big.  Like that’s REALLY big.  Coca Cola is one of the biggest brands in the world and having them say WWE is worth sponsoring is a hugely positive sign for WWE going forward.  That means some serious advertising money coming in from more companies that want to be part of WWE because it’s worth the investment.  Raw may be boring these days, but if it gets them stuff like this, that’s not going to change anytime soon.




Monday Night Raw – December 7, 2015: One on the Brake And Two on the Gas

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 7, 2015
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, Charleston, South, Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for TLC and the big story continues to be Roman Reigns and company vs. the League of Nations. There’s still a lot of the card to be set for Sunday but as usual, you can see most of it from here. The show isn’t looking bad and if they put enough violent gimmicks on the card, everything should be fine. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Sheamus vs. Reigns and last week’s main event. Thankfully Reigns beating them on his own on Smackdown is omitted.

Here’s the League, now with their own music. Sheamus says he can’t look stupid if he’s the World Champion. As for this Sunday, how can he be afraid of defending the title against Reigns if he already beat him in 5:15? The WWE has entered the International Era and Sheamus lists off the four countries represented in the League. You’ll notice there are no Americans, because in 2015, America just isn’t good enough anymore. Sheamus says they’re the best of the best…….and we’ve got the Wyatts?

The fans immediately chant YES for the Wyatts. Bray says they haven’t been introduced because the League of Nations just lives in Bray’s world. They’re here for the chaos but here are the Dudley Boyz and Tommy Dreamer to interrupt. That was close. They almost had something interesting there before we get ANOTHER ECW reunion. Bray says they’re not getting the message that they’re outnumbered. Actually they’re multiplying because here’s Rhyno to even things up. Dang I was hoping for Dudley clones. Before they can get to the ring, here are Reigns, Ambrose and the Usos to make it sixteen people at once.

Dudley Boyz/Tommy Dreamer/Rhyno vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Usos vs. League of Nations vs. Wyatt Family

Elimination tag with one man from each team in the ring at once. Harper is quickly sent to the floor as Del Rio takes down Ambrose. It’s off to Jimmy beating on Rusev as D-Von is down in the corner and Harper tags in Bray. There are basically two matches going on at once. D-Von tags in Rhyno for some clotheslines and a suplex to Jimmy.

Strowman comes in to clean house and it’s off to Dreamer, wearing some Dusty Rhodes polka dot pants. Braun is knocked to the floor, allowing Rusev to take Dreamer down. The Usos load up a double superplex on Rusev but Strowman makes it a Tower of Doom with Dreamer being taken out in the process. Rowan tags himself in and takes a quick DDT from Dreamer for the elimination as we take a break. Thank goodness they got rid of the more interesting team so quickly.

Back with Del Rio beating up Jey and Dreamer until Tommy grabs a neckbreaker on the now legal Sheamus. Bubba comes in with a Rock Bottom for two on Sheamus but all twelve come in for a huge brawl. We get down to Rhyno vs. Reigns for a showdown but Rusev and Sheamus break it up. Rusev walks into a 3D and the Dudley Boyz set for What’s Up, only to have Sheamus Brogue Kick Bubba for the second elimination.

Things settle down to Sheamus vs. Ambrose but Rusev tags himself in before anything can happen. Dean goes off on Rusev with strikes (Saxton: “Ambrose is a different piece of toast), followed by the standing elbow drop for two. Back from another break with Sheamus firing off the ten forearms to Jey’s chest until Reigns makes the save.

It’s off to Rusev for a bearhug before Barrett misses a charge in the corner, allowing for the hot tag to Reigns. The fans are WAY behind Roman here (it’s an old NWA town so faces are popular and heels are hated) as he powerbombs Del Rio and Superman Punches Barrett and Alberto. Everything breaks down with a big series of dives and Del Rio gets Reigns in the armbreaker. Jimmy comes in with a Superfly splash for the save and it’s a spear to Sheamus for the pin at 21:36.

Rating: B-. Fun brawl here but the League of Nations is now 0-2 as a four man team and the already weak looking World Champion got pinned when you have three others who could take the fall. Rusev doesn’t even have a match on Sunday and he can’t take a pin here? Another good idea (like having the Wyatts out there) with questionable booking (like having them go out first) bringing it back down a bit when it didn’t need to.

Post break, Sheamus says that’s the closest he’s coming to losing the title. He’s going to smash Reigns up and he’ll give us a preview tonight.

Stardust is raving about Hollywood when Titus O’Neil comes in to say Stardust needs to get some. Well Eden is probably here tonight…….but Titus means some Stardust time, such as reading a good book and having a bottle of wine. Stardust goes on another rant and Titus leaves.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens

Non-Title and Tyler Breeze/Summer are here. Kevin trips him down to start and grabs a front facelock as Ambrose is in the back watching (while eating popcorn and drinking a soda). We hit the chinlock on Dolph until Ziggler counters into a rolling three quarter nelson for two. Ziggler dropkicks him down but gets clobbered in the face with an old Vader style forearm to the face.

They head outside with Ziggler’s headbutt not having much effect. The fall away slam into the barricade give Kevin three straight near falls and it’s time for some big right hands to the head. A kick to Dolph’s face gets two as Dolph keeps pulling himself up. Owens sends him shoulder first into the post for a nine count on the floor. The backsplash gets two more and Dolph falls back to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Owens slapping on a chinlock until Ziggler fights up and avoids a charge to send Owens shoulder first into the post for a change. Kevin is just fine and sends Ziggler out to the floor to try another countout. Dolph starts getting up again though so Owens goes outside, only to take the running DDT on the floor. Back in and Owens throws him with a release German suplex but misses the Cannonball. The Fameasser gets two and they trade superkicks with Ziggler falling on top for another near fall. Owens is right up though and it’s a Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin on Ziggler 19:07.

Rating: B-. Another good match here but it felt more long than anything else. Ziggler continues to be entertaining enough but you’re not going to get anything more than the same stuff every single time he’s out there. I’m really not sure why Breeze needed to be out here as he was just watching instead of actually doing anything. At least we get the TRILOGY match on Sunday because that’s all anyone wants to see right?

Post match Ambrose comes out and throws his popcorn and soda in Owens’ face.

The Wyatts are ready to crush the ECW guys. Strowman wants to become Dreamer’s nightmare later tonight.

Miz comes in to tell Neville that his offer of mentoring was serious on Smackdown. Donny Deutsch (star of a new show on USA) comes in to offer Neville a spot on his show. He gives Neville his card and tells Miz to get back to him in a few years. Miz gives Neville his card but Neville throws it away.

Alicia Fox/Brie Bella vs. Sasha Banks/Naomi

Fox and Banks start things off with Alicia grabbing a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. It’s off to Naomi who takes one as well to send Team Bad out to the floor. Tamina trips Alicia to take over and it’s a dropkick from Naomi for two. We hit the chinlock from Naomi, followed by another one from Sasha. Back up and Alicia rolls over for the hot tag to Brie. It’s time for the YES Kicks before everything breaks down. Another Tamina distraction sets up the Rear View for the pin on Brie at 5:28.

Rating: D. I’m so sick of these matches. We’ve seen them do the same stuff every single week for months now and nothing has changed except for the numbers. Naomi is still doing the same “HAVING FUN” offense, Banks is still as good as anyone in the division and Brie still has no idea if she’s a face or a heel. You would think they would learn at some point but it hasn’t happened in months now.

Post match New Day comes out to give Team Bad their own unicorn horns and everyone dances. Ok then.

The New Day is still in the ring after a break to talk about giving back. They’ve given a donation to the League of Nations and some baby names to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West for their new son. Then they have to give two different teams a Tag Team Title shot on Sunday in a ladder match. Why do they need ladders? They’re not house painters and they’re not saving cats from trees. We get a quick New Day Theater with Big E. playing a tree and Kofi playing a kitten. Woods says that New Day is a group of grown men and saves Kofi from the tree, end scene.

Lucha Dragons vs. New Day

Non-title, Woods is on the floor again and the Usos are on commentary. Cara and Kofi get things going with Kofi throwing him out to the floor for a suplex from Big E. Woods lays on the floor next to Cara and plays some trombone as we take a break. Back with Big E. missing a splash into the corner before it’s off to Kalisto for some rapid fire kicks and the corkscrew cross body to Kofi.

The comeback is short lived though as Kofi takes him into the corner again, only to have Kalisto come back with a sloppy headscissors. The (not) hot tag brings in Cara to really take over off a standing moonsault to Big E. Kofi is legal though and kicks Cara down, only to have the Usos get in a fight with Woods (Jey: “BEAT HIM LIKE HE STOLE SOMETHING!”). The distraction lets Cara roll Kofi up for the pin at 6:36.

Rating: C. That would be the second time in an hour and a half that a champion has been pinned to set up a title match on Sunday. I beg of you WWE, please find something new. There are other ways to set up something like this and it’s getting annoying to see this happen every single time.

The Usos leave with the horns and the trombone. So now they actually did steal something. SOMEONE BEAT THOSE TWO MEN LIKE THEY DESERVE!

After a recap of the opening match, Reigns says he’s fine with having a lesson from Sheamus, even though he has no idea what Sheamus could teach him.

We look back at Charlotte faking an injury to beat Becky Lynch last week.

It’s time for MizTV with guests Charlotte and Ric Flair. Charlotte takes over the introduction for her father and says Miz has ten minutes of Rolex time. Ric says he’s so proud and promises to be in his daughter’s corner at TLC this Sunday. That brings Miz to Charlotte’s new attitude, which sends her off on a mini rant about Miz being sexist. Miz shakes it off and asks about the match on Sunday, bringing up Paige costing Charlotte her friendship with Becky Lynch. He stays at it by asking about Paige saying Charlotte is only here because of her father.

Ric gets up at that but Charlotte yells about Paige, promising to destroy her on Sunday. This brings out the third guest and Paige really doesn’t look too upset. Ric says this is just a ploy so Charlotte goes outside. Paige slaps him in the face and does the strut. Ric: “Get her!” Charlotte charges but Paige runs to end the segment. So…..am I supposed to cheer for either of these two or is this another SHADES OF GRAY story that is in no way a method to keep the writers from having to figure out who they want to turn face?

We look at Reigns pinning Sheamus again.

Ryback vs. Rusev

Rematch from last week. Rusev chills on the floor to start and gets back in at nine. Ryback shoves him right back to the floor as Rusev is holding his back from earlier. Tired of waiting, Ryback busts out a corkscrew plancha (seriously). Ryback: “WE’RE HAVING FUN!” A quick backdrop sends Ryback over the top again and Rusev snaps the arm over the top as we take a break.

Back with Rusev still on the arm by bending it around the ropes and sending it into the post. Ryback’s comeback includes some shoulders followed by a flying shoulder to really mix it up. A middle rope dropkick (better than Brie Bella’s) gets two for Ryback and it’s time for a chase around the ring. Ryback runs Lana over by mistake (Lana may have intentionally gotten in his way) and hurts her ankle again, freaking Rusev out. He throws Ryback in the Accolade on the floor and it’s a double countout at 10:37.

Rating: C. Ryback was trying with some fresh offense out there (always appreciated) but he’s fallen back through the floor in importance again. That’s what happens when you build someone up on a short term basis, have him lose his two big matches and then do nothing with him for weeks. Oddly enough it’s the inactivity that hurts worse than the loss to Kalisto in the tournament.

Stardust vs. Jack Swagger

Titus is on commentary and this is joined in progress after a break with Swagger putting on the Patriot Lock. Stardust makes the rope as Del Rio and Colter come out, allowing Stardust to throw the arm into the post. Some choking on the ropes has Swagger in trouble but he comes back with clotheslines and a powerslam. The Patriot Lock makes Stardust tap at 2:40.

Post match Del Rio nails Swagger. Titus yells at Del Rio to watch out for Stardust so Alberto hits Stardust with a chair. Swagger grabs his own chair and knocks Alberto’s out of his hands before sending Del Rio running off. Jack asks Zeb what he’s thinking but Colter drives off.

This week’s Rosebush is about Miz wanting to mentor Neville. Apparently Miz wants Neville to be recast in Dumbo. Speaking of animals, we saw the return of Rhyno this week. This followed Tommy Dreamer’s, now with a golden tan. He thought he had baby oil but it was really Becky Lynch’s hair dye. This is still such a waste of anything Rose could do.

In the back, Del Rio yells at Colter for causing him to trip and drop the chair. Alberto says he doesn’t need Colter and threatens to use the chair on him. Colter claims that Del Rio wouldn’t be champion without him and drives off. So they’re split now, thank goodness.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Braun Strowman

Braun throws him around to start and drives in some shoulders to the ribs. We hit the nerve hold for a bit before the standing choke puts Dreamer away at 2:46. Total squash at a slow pace.

Here’s Reigns for the big showdown with Sheamus. Reigns asks where Sheamus is before talking about climbing the ladder with his Shield teammates over the years. He’s on top of the ladder and calls Sheamus out for a beating again. Cue Sheamus to say that Sunday is going to be a sequel when he beats Reigns down just like he did at Survivor Series. Reigns is ready right now but of course Sheamus doesn’t want to do it tonight.

Roman wants to know where Sheamus’ potatoes are because all he sees are tater tots. That brings Sheamus charging but he stops in front of the three tables laid against the apron. Sheamus promises to build a castle from all the broken toys on Sunday. Reigns challenges to fight him again tonight but Sheamus knows all Roman wants to do is use the weapons. That’s fine with Reigns (“Hold on a second tater tot”) who throws out all the goodies, one at a time to drag this out far longer than it needs to be.

Sheamus still won’t get in so Reigns keeps talking and it’s FINALLY on after nearly ten minutes of talking. Reigns gets the better of it at first and loads up the announcers’ table, only to have Sheamus take over and send him into a ladder (which Sheamus has to grab before it falls into the crowd). They fight into the crowd and then up to the entrance where all the tables and ladders are set up.

Sheamus blocks a powerbomb and hits him with a chair to take it back to ringside. Roman is thrown over the announcers’ table but comes back with a spear through one of the many tables to end the show. WAY too long here for what they did but points for not having everyone else come out and letting this be about the two of them for a change.

Overall Rating: C-. This was one of the fastest shows I can remember in a long time. The first two hours felt like they took half an hour and the last third wasn’t bad. Unfortunately the majority of the show was ok at best with the action being the biggest problem by far. The wrestling was just ok and a lot of the booking made my head hurt. They did a good job of setting up the pay per view but it was far from an entertaining show outside of that. Not the worst or anything, but a totally forgettable show.

Results

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Usos b. Wyatt Family, Dudley Boyz/Rhyno/Tommy Dreamer and League of Nations last eliminating the League of Nations

Kevin Owens b. Dolph Ziggler – Pop Up Powerbomb

Naomi/Sasha Banks b. Brie Bella/Alicia Fox – Rear View to Bella

Lucha Dragons b. New Day – Rollup to Kingston

Ryback vs. Rusev went to a double countout

Jack Swagger b. Stardust – Patriot Lock

Braun Strowman b. Tommy Dreamer – Standing choke

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – December 25, 2000: We Need A Little Christmas

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 25, 2000
Location: McKenzie Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 7,223
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request due to it being Christmas recently. One night late in WCW’s dying days, Raw has a show on Christmas night. If I remember right, Nitro didn’t air and I don’t think many people noticed. This is a few weeks after Armageddon and the 6 man Cell match so we’re rolling towards New Orleans and the Rumble which was very good. Let’s get to it.

And no this isn’t live of course. It was taped the Saturday before.

Here’s Stephanie to open the show. You know, the implants with a McMahon attached. She looks great though. The McMahons are celebrating Christmas at the moment, with Vince volunteering at a soup kitchen in Greenwich and HHH sending Steph here. Even Stephanie is getting into it, making something that reminds her of her mother: a fruitcake. We get a clip from the end of Smackdown, which is Rock and Undertaker arguing over something. Therefore tonight it’s Rock vs. Taker.

She brings out Edge and Christian with Angle as well. Angle is in his first reign as world champion while the Canadians are tag champions. Edge wishes Stephanie a Merry Christmas but they’re sorry that Foley isn’t here due to being fired last week. Christian insults Chattanooga for a bit and talks about Smackdown, which we see a clip from showing Edge pinning Rock to win the tag titles.

Angle does the same but with his own brand of humor. He’s given himself a Christmas gift and has flown out his family. Here’s an army of people that all look like Kurt. He introduces all of his family and all of their accomplishments. He talks about hitting Foley with a chair so the fans chant for Foley. Stephanie reminds us that he’s fired and the fans boo Kurt’s family. They sing Walkin In A Winter Wonderland until Jericho FINALLY cuts them off.

He tells Angle to shut up. Jericho liked the singing but instead it should have been the Twelve Days of Christmas. We have six Angles who will never be a laying, two valley girls and Stephanie, who gets all of her usual insults, in a a pear tree. For Christmas, Jericho wants the world title, and he wants it tonight. Angle yells but Stephanie cuts him off. The title shot is denied but instead it’s a six man: Angle/Canadians vs. Jericho/whatever team Chris wants. Jericho says that’s nice but he didn’t get anything for Stepahanie. What do you get for someone who’s had everyone? Jericho implies the Dudleys will be his partners.

Kurt gives his family a tour of the arena and runs into K-Kwik (R-Truth) and that’s about it.

Hardy Boys vs. Dean Malenko/Chris Benoit

Benoit is IC Champion and Dean is Light Heavyweight Champion. In the back, Matt tells Lita to stay in the back because she’ll get hurt. Lita goes anyway. Big brawl to start and Malenko pulls Benoit to the floor. Jeff is like cool man and hits a huge Poetry in Motion to the floor. That looked awesome. Benoit SNAPS off a dragon screw on Jeff’s leg to take over. That looked sick. Malenko works on the knee a bit as well but Jeff gets a SWEET spinning leg sweep cradle for two. A double dropkick puts the Radicalz down and it’s off to Matt. Everything breaks down and Lita hits Dean low. Top rope legdrop ends this.

Rating: C-. Nothing great here but the knee stuff was great. By that I mean one move but you get the idea. This would lead to Dean getting a date with Lita which wound up in a hotel room and Lita in some very nice lingerie. Anyway, not much to see here but it was nice to get the Hardys away from the Dudleys and Canadians.

Post match Matt gets put in the Texas Cloverleaf and Lita in the Crossface.

Post break Lita is being checked on when Benoit jumps Matt again.

Rock arrives and doesn’t care to hear about his match with Taker.

Debra is still Lieutenant Commissioner but it’s not fun without Foley anymore. She makes a triple threat Hardcore Title match with Raven, Blackman and Holly.

Vince calls Stephanie on voicemail and likes the match. He says he has to do something real quick at the soup kitchen but Trish’s voice is heard giggling.

We get a clip of Austin getting chokeslammed by Kane and then Austin demanding a match with him, which he gets tonight. Austin says he’ll beat Kane up tonight.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Holly vs. Raven vs. Steve Blackman

Blackman is champion. Raven and Holly get into it before Steve gets there. I’m not sure what you want me to say here as it’s your usual one guy gets knocked down, the other two fight, the third makes the save. The challengers fight into the crowd but Blackman beats them both down out there. They go under the stage and into the back where Raven beats up what appears to be some stagehands. They go outside and Raven is thrown down some stairs. Holly finds a random 2×4 and swings at Blackman. He misses though and Blackman hits a German onto the hood of a car to retain.

Rating: D+. As I’ve said before, once you’ve seen one of these matches, you’ve seen them all. It’s just basic brawling with weapons that goes nowhere and then they have the ending. They had beaten this so far into the ground but by keeping it down to like three minutes per match, I think it’s ok.

Blackman is walking back to the locker room but Raven hits him with a board and steals the title.

The XFL is coming. OH YEAH!

Here’s Regal who is European Champion. Little trivia for you: he’s one of only two Europeans to hold that title. He blasts Americans for awhile until Kane comes out for his match. Ok then.

Kane vs. Steve Austin

Brawl to start with Austin hammering him into the corner. Regal is on commentary. A clothesline puts Kane down and another puts him on the floor. Austin gets pulled out there and Kane takes over. Regal gets up for some reason and Austin takes him down as well. Austin stomps on both of them as this is a total brawl. Back in the ring a big boot puts Austin down and they slow down.

A second boot is blocked and Austin goes for the knee. Kane fights back and wraps Austin’s leg around the post. Lawler says Kane is the official first entrant in the Rumble. Back in the top rope clothesline gets two. After a suplex gets two it’s a bearhug. Austin comes back with the Thesz Press and the elbow. Chokeslam, Stunner and Tombstone are countered until a Stunner hits. Regal pops up on the apron and Kane gets up. Regal finally gets in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was fine. It was just a brawl that ran about http://kamagrawiki.org seven and a half minutes and that’s all it really needed to be. The interesting thing is you could easily compare this to a lot of Cena’s matches on Raw today. There wasn’t anything to it for the most part and there wasn’t supposed to be. However Cena gets blasted for it and Austin is one of the most popular stars ever. Go figure.

Regal tries to bring in a chair but Austin clocks both guys with it instead.

Taker says he isn’t surprised by having to fight Rock later. He says Rock has the bark but he has the bite. Taker is still face here.

Cue The Kat in a robe. She has a gift with her. She gets in front of the announce table and grabs a mic. The gift is for JR and it’s the latest Divas video. As for King, Kat gets on the table and pulls the robe open to reveal some red lingerie. She shows the crowd too. Jerry gets a kiss also.

Stephanie barges in on T&A who says Trish isn’t here. She leaves and they imply Trish is with Vince.

Angle calls his parents as his brothers/cousin watch. Well that was pointless.

Too Cool vs. T&A

Grandmaster vs. Test to start. Stephanie comes out to watch, probably because of the jokes T&A made after she left. Sexay hits a middle rope dropkick and it’s off to Scotty so he can get beaten up for awhile. Albert comes in and Scott can’t do anything. Baldo (Albert) Bomb gets two as Grandmaster makes the save. Scotty gets in some kicks and a forearm to set up a double tag. Everything breaks down and Scotty sets for the Worm. Test kicks Scotty’s head off after it hits. He sets for the ending but Stephanie distracts him, allowing Grandmaster to roll up Test for the win.

Rating: D. Didn’t like this one at all. This whole show has felt like it’s just a labor to get through and that’s not good. To be fair though it’s Christmas night so it’s not like anyone is watching. Stephanie came in to mess with them, presumably to cost Trish’s team, but this went nowhere.

Post break, Albert comes in to talk with Stephanie. He offers his services to Stephanie for whatever she needs.

Chris Jericho/Dudley Boys vs. Kurt Angle/Edge/Christian

Jericho and Christian start things off. The fans want tables and Jericho tries a quick Walls attempt but settles for a slingshot into a rollup for two instead. D-Von and Edge come in and things speed up. Bubba comes in and does his always funny yelling. What’s Up to Edge. It’s Table Time already and everything breaks down on the outside. Edge hammers on Bubba but it’s quickly off to Christian.

The beating goes on for about 20 seconds before it’s off to Jericho and Angle. Jericho gets in a fight with Angle’s family who is all in the front row. The Dudleys put one of them through a table. The Dudleys and the Canadians fight up the ramp and Jericho hits a missile dropkick for no cover but the Lionsault eats knees. Angle Slam (and a good one too) beats Jericho.

Rating: C. This was going on so fast that it was hard to tell if it was good or bad. It certainly wasn’t boring and the big stuff looked pretty good. I liked it for the most part but much like the rest of this show and the show overall, it came and went and that’s all there really is to say about it.

The Angle family beats him down but the Dudleys make the save.

Edge and Christian say they’ll get the Dudleys for what they did.

Right to Censor vs. APA

It’s Buchanan/Godfather this time. Buchanan gives a very southern promo, talking about how evil the Dudleys are. Bradshaw starts with Godfather and the beating begins. Farrooq and Buchanan come in and the bald one takes a spinebuster. Bradshaw comes in and runs people over, including a top rope shoulder. Ivory interferes and Jackie runs her over. They get in the ring because Jackie has to get on my nerves at least once a year. Val Venis uses the distraction to run in and DDT Bradshaw. A Buchanan legdrop ends this. The match was nothing.

We get a video of Chyna taking a spike piledriver and injuring her neck. She had an MRI so we get a sitdown interview with her. Short version: I’m hurt, I’m sad, I’m successful outside the ring, I don’t like RTC, I’ll be back but not against men. Somehow that took six minutes.

Rock is in the back and cuts Kevin Kelly off because they are chanting his name. He gives his version of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and sings to Undertaker a bit too.

Undertaker vs. The Rock

I’ve never really seen these two have a good match so maybe this is the exception. Taker pounds him down and knocks Rock to the floor with one punch. Rock gets dropped onto the barricade and the table as JR is running out of room to run. Back in the ring Rock fires off a few rights and the jumping clothesline to take over. Swinging neckbreaker gets no cover but a Russian legsweep gets two.

Taker gets in a big boot and pounds away on the back. They mess up something so Taker hits a side slam for two. DDT by Rock gets two. More back work by Taker and this match isn’t breaking the streak these two have. Oh joy: it’s a bearhug. Rock fights out and now Taker hits a DDT of his own for two. Chokeslam and Rock Bottom are countered but a chokeslam hits. No cover though because he wants a Last Ride. And here’s Rikishi to interfere. Spinebuster to Taker but Rikishi pulls the top rope down and Rock wins by REALLY LAME DQ.

Rating: D-. What a boring match. They walked around, punched each other a lot, and that’s about it. The really bad ending didn’t help anything at all but hey, Rikishi is a top heel right? They don’t really give a reason or a thought as to whether or not it would work, but he was the next guy to feud with Rock I believe. Give me a break.

Rikishi stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: F+. OH MAN thank goodness it’s over. This was one of the least interesting shows I’ve seen in longer than I can remember. Nothing happened here, no one cared, no one wanted to be on the show it seemed, and nothing here would have seemed to have mattered. That being said, it’s unlikely anyone watched it but if one person did, it beat Nitro that night. Horrible show though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Ring of Honor TV – December 2, 2015: They Know What They’re Doing

Ring of Honor
Date: December 2, 2015
Location: Wings Stadium Annex, Kalamazoo, Michigan
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Kevin Kelly, Mark Briscoe

Final Battle is just around the corner and for the first time in a long time, Jay Lethal’s World Title really seems vulnerable. However, for some reason ROH seems much more interested in the tag team division, though that’s been some of the more interesting stuff they’ve been doing in recent weeks. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Adam Page vs. Will Ferrara

Page is still rightfully ticked off that he’s off Final Battle because of Whitmer and Corino being forced off the show as well. Will gets jumped from behind before the bell, which is totally dishonorable but the referee starts the match anyway. Page stomps him in the corner as Kelly runs down the Final Battle card instead of talking about the match. Back up and Page charges into a boot in the corner, only to come right back with a dropkick to send Ferrara out to the floor.

A bridging pumphandle suplex (that’s a new one) gets two for Page as Briscoe cheers for Ferrara. Will makes a quick comeback with a sunset bomb out of the corner for two. It’s time for a Decade meeting on the floor but Ferrara dives onto everyone. Colby offers a referee distraction and Whitmer throws in the crutch, only to have Ferrara intercept it and lay out Page for the big upset at 4:05.

Rating: C-. It’s cool to see the perennial jobber get a win like this though I’m still surprised that they’re going to leave the Decade off the big show after everything they’ve done in recent months. Corino being out changed what they had planned but there’s no one else that they could swap in there?

Post match Whitmer goes after Ferrara and the referee, drawing in Mark Briscoe for the save.

Here’s the Addiction to yell about how badly they’ve been mistreated around here. Daniels goes on a sexist rant against Maria who belongs in a kitchen or a nursery. Daniels: “YEAH I SAID IT!” Then they had a masked man run in which should have stopped the match immediately but it just kept going. Kazarian says if Ring of Honor wants to play checkers, the Addition will play chess……in New Japan Professional Wrestling. They’ll go win the Heavyweight Tag League and then come back to regain their World Tag Team Championships of the World.

Video on Adam Cole vs. Kyle O’Reilly which will be one heck of a grudge match at Final Battle.

Package on Brutal Bob Evans vs. Cheeseburger. WHY ARE THESE TWO STILL FIGHTING??? They were fighting like six months ago and they’re still at it. Evans broke Cheeseburger’s hand at this TV taping and they’ll be fighting again on the Final Battle pre-show in another grudge match. I’ll take that over them being on the main show.

We look back at Roderick Strong winning the TV Title last week.

Here’s the House of Truth (good night that’s a low cut dress on Hendrix) with something to say. Lethal says Strong FINALLY beat him last week after all the tries but Jay knows Strong couldn’t do it again. He’ll be TV Champion again soon enough anyway. That brings Lethal to AJ Styles, who Lethal came to for advice for most of their careers. It’s true that Styles was the best wrestler in the world for years, but that changed when Lethal became the undisputed ROH Champion.

Lethal is the only undisputed champion and now he wants Styles out here to say it to his face. This brings out AJ (who thankfully can walk here) to say that Lethal is right because of that belt around his waist. Jay losing the TV Title was the best thing that could have happened to him though because he needs to focus on AJ and AJ alone. They shake hands and stare each other down with Jay holding up the belt. Well done and very simple idea here.

It’s time for Storytime with Adam Cole which has become a highlight of these shows. Cole never saw this coming because even after he kicked Kyle with reality at All-Star Extravaganza, Kyle still didn’t get it. O’Reilly isn’t going to win the World Title as long as Cole is around because that’s just not how it works. Cole starts yelling that Kyle will never be champion because he’s not the man that Adam is. He’s going to make Kyle quit and leave ROH because he can’t handle the embarrassment of how bad things are going to get at Final Battle.

We run down the Final Battle card. I might have to watch that show.

Dalton Castle vs. Adam Cole

No Boys here and Castle is clearly not happy about it. Cole on the other hand has the whole Kingdom behind him. Kelly: “I think Cole’s greatest advantage, aside from being a former World Champion, is having three mates at ringside.” You can’t buy analysis like this people. Before we get going, cue the Boys to stand by Dalton’s side but Silas Young runs out to say not so fast. How nice is it to have stipulations adhered to?

Cole jumps Castle to start and Bennett trips Dalton to break up a comeback. Nigel: “Come on I’m right here!” Castle dives through the ropes to take out the Kingdom and Cole’s dive off the apron only earns him a suplex. The fans are way behind Dalton here but Cole shuts them up with a superkick. The Kingdom gets involved and it’s a quick DQ at 1:45.

Since the Kingdom has a Tag Team Title defense coming up, it would seem appropriate for their challengers to come out and make this a six man tag. The fans chant SIX MAN and that’s what they get, thanks to Nigel.

War Machine/Dalton Castle vs. Kingdom

The good guys take over on the floor to start with Hanson and Rowe destroying Bennett and Cole, leaving Dalton to….bite Taven’s stomach? They get inside for Rowe vs. Cole with the latter getting flipped all over the place off a clothesline. Taven and Bennett trip Rowe down and crotch him though, allowing the heels to take over. A dropkick from Taven gets two and a nice high cross body (Bennett: “TAVEN! FLY!”) connects for the same.

We take a break and come back with nothing having changed as Rowe is taken back into the heel corner. A missed dropkick allows Rowe to finally make the tag and it’s off to Hanson to clean house with knees to the chest. Cole and Castle come in with Dalton showing him how to do a missile dropkick. Taven comes back in and trades about ten Tombstone attempts with Castle until Dalton FINALLY plants him.

Rowe knees Taven and Bennett out to the floor so Hanson busts out a big top rope flip dive to drop everyone. Back in and the Path of Resistance sets up a middle rope splash for two on Cole as his partners make a save. Now it’s Hanson missing a suicide dive, allowing Cole to drop Castle with a brainbuster onto his knee for the pin at 12:00.

Rating: C+. This was your signature Ring of Honor main event with the tagging being forgotten by the end and letting it turn into a wild mess which was just coherent enough to keep track of it. You don’t want the Kingdom to lose here so having Castle take the fall was the best possible option. Good TV main event here.

The Kingdom poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Another fun show here that did a good job of setting up Final Battle, which is looking like a strong card to close out the year. It really does impress me to see how far Ring of Honor has come in just a few months as I wasn’t wild on their first Destination America shows but I’m digging their product now that it’s off the national network. This was fun stuff and worked more than well enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Thunder – July 12, 2000: How To Book A Bad Show Version II

Thunder
Date: July 12, 2000
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

It still feels weird to say that Booker T. is the World Champion but it’s a nice feeling to have. For once things feel fresh and with the addition of the newcomers in the tag division, there’s an actual youth movement going on around here. Now unfortunately there’s no reason to think this is going to last but at least we can enjoy it while it’s around. Let’s get to it.

On a side note, at some point around this time, Ed Ferrara took over Thunder’s booking. Therefore, Russo isn’t to blame in case this is awful, though Ferrara was Russo’s right hand man.

Opening sequence.

We open with the usual clips from Nitro.

Smooth gives Kanyon advice about something we aren’t privy to.

Apparently Scott Steiner beat up and injured Mike Tenay so it’s a two man booth tonight.

Here are Tank Abbott and 3 Count to say they’re going to dance and the Dragons aren’t going to do anything. That’s an official warning and you know what’s coming. Tank heads outside to dance and here are the Dragons for a surprise attack. Muta jumps Tank and we’ve got a match.

3 Count/Tank Abbott vs. Jung Dragons/Great Muta

Yang tries to pound on Tank but gets thrown across the ring. A wheelbarrow slam into a double facebuster has Yang in even more trouble but Muta makes a save and cleans house. Tank uses the circle to block the mist and the big right hand knocks Yang silly to give Evan the fast pin. So they bring Muta in for a two minute match where his team loses?

Kanyon gives Cat a copy of his book in an attempt to get Jarrett tonight. That’s fine with Cat as Jarrett’s original opponent, Buff Bagwell, is late. Cat gives him the match in exchange for an autograph.

The Perfect Event attacks the Misfits in the back. For reasons unclear, they hand Major Gunns their exercise bar and she hits Palumbo low. Stasiak laughs, so Gunns kicks him low for good measure. So they’re bad wrestlers and stupid?

Stevie Ray is joining commentary. This could be good.

The Demon vs. Major Stash

Stevie thinks Vampiro and Demon are bizarre and doesn’t get why they’re together. In other words, Stevie either doesn’t watch or doesn’t understand the stories either. Stash starts with a big boot but charges into a boot in the corner. You would think he would have learned something like that. Demon gets thrown off the middle rope but comes back with a wristlock. Yeah a wristlock from a guy named DEMON. Stash avoids a clothesline and hits a quick ax handle, only to walk into the Love Gun for another quick pin.

Post match Sting (right) appears and points the bat at Vampiro and Demon.

Kidman asks Lance Storm about being serious. Storm says he’s always serious and walks off. After Kidman leaves, Kanyon takes out a cameraman with a Kanyon Cutter.

David Flair tells Hancock that he’ll do anything for her. Hancock knows that already.

Kidman/Lance Storm vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire

The Canadian national anthem plays so Kidman reads the paper and dances behind him. Lance finally catches on but doesn’t seem to mind as he and Kidman try stereo baseball slides to the floor. That goes as badly as Kidman’s dancing as Jindrak and O’Haire press them over the top and back inside. Kidman tags himself in for a Bodog to Jindrak so it’s off to Sean for some right hands. Everything breaks down and O’Haire superkicks Storm, leaving Jindrak to plant Kidman with a tilt-a-whirl slam. The Seanton Bomb gives Sean the pin, making me wonder why they got pinned by Morrus and Leroux a few weeks back.

Storm nails Kidman post match, I’m assuming to cement his heel turn.

Vampiro promises to rip off Sting’s ski mask. I’d like to see who is actually under there.

Vito talks about how awesome he is.

Hancock tells David to go win her some gold so he attacks Vito and it’s time for a title match.

Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. David Flair

Vito is defending of course and David is in a suit minus the jacket. He pounds Vito into the arena with whatever he can find as this is one sided so far. Vito remembers that he’s fighting David Flair and takes over with right hands, only to get suplexed into the ring for no cover. Cue Hancock (with blue trim instead of white this time) as Vito comes back again with a suplex and top rope elbow. He stops to kiss Hancock though (perk of being a champion), followed by the safety cone to the crotch. The impaler DDT through the table retains Vito’s title.

Rating: D. I’m assuming these are supposed to be serious matches, which continues to prove that the people running WCW don’t understand how wrestling works. They’re certainly not funny matches but there’s nothing setting them aside that makes them entertaining. That black hole of charisma Steve Blackman is Hardcore Champion in the WWF right now and he’s a dozen times more interesting than this. Vito isn’t bad or anything but there’s nowhere to go with this division.

Jarrett tells Cat that if he’s not fighting his scheduled opponent, he’s not wrestling. Cat says oh yes you are.

Perfect Event was posing in the ring earlier today (as in before the fans were here) when Kanyon attacked another production guy. It’s still funny, but is this going anywhere anytime soon?

Perfect Event vs. General Rection/Corporal Cajun

Palumbo and Rection get things going with the General scoring off some splashes in the corner. Cajun comes in and gets beaten down due to reasons of not being very good. Things slow down with Stasiak doing one of his only moves (a slam) before stopping to pose. Palumbo’s top rope shoulder drops Cajun for two again as Stevie is being the voice of reason against all of Perfect Event’s stalling. A gorilla press doesn’t work though and the hot tag brings in Rection to clean most of the house until the Jungle Kick slows him down again.

Stasiak gets two off a sitout powerbomb and the fans are actually getting into this. It could be due to it being the longest match of the night, even though we’re not five minutes in yet. Cajun comes in for his dancing punches and a clothesline for two. Whiplash gets two more and everything breaks down. Rection hits his moonsault but Stasiak nails the referee with the exercise bar. He throws it off to Cajun though and the referee sees him holding it for the DQ. Yeah he said Rection had the match won but Cajun broke up the pin for no apparent reason. Egads this company is stupid at times.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t bad until the ridiculous ending. Rection and Cajun aren’t the best tag team in the world but then again this isn’t the best tag division in the world either. Palumbo is the most interesting out of all these people and he’s just ok at best. The ending hurts this even more though as it comes off again like someone doesn’t know how wrestling works.

Here’s Booker T. with something to say. Booker talks about how great Jeff Jarrett is in the ring but he fails as a man. This title can be defended anywhere anytime and he’ll take on anyone that wants to come after it. As for Scott Steiner, save the drama for your mama. This brings out Rick Steiner to congratulate Booker but it’s a ruse (does it could if everyone knows it’s coming?) and Rick beats him down. Cue Stevie to get up from the table for the save but Rick beats him down, grabs the title and puts it on. Good night what a horrifying visual. Mike Awesome runs out and makes the save before handing the title back to Booker.

Daffney asks Crowbar if she looks fat in her gear. Crowbar says she’s pretty and clearly has a thing for her.

Shane Douglas assures Torrie that she won’t have to do anything in the mixed tag.

Cat tells Kidman that if he doesn’t interfere in the upcoming match, he can have Lance Storm later tonight.

Torrie Wilson/Shane Douglas vs. Crowbar/Daffney

Before the match, Shane says Torrie isn’t a wrestler and has no business in this match. Torrie apologizes to everyone in the back but she LOVES being franchised. Crowbar quickly dropkicks Shane to the floor, leaving Daffney to go after Torrie. We get the catfight for all of ten seconds before it’s back to the guys. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Torrie who gets caught by Crowbar. Back to Daffney for some lame hair drags (read as Torrie rolls while Daffney touches her hair) and a jawbreaker to Shane.

Crowbar comes back in to beat on Shane even more, including a nice bite to the head. Shane avoids a moonsault and grabs a powerbomb, but just stops as he’s got Crowbar in the air. It looked closer to a jackknife but Shane stopped moving instead of letting him go. In other words, it looked awful. Shane loads up another and Crowbar lands on his feet (there’s your answer), only to walk into the Franchiser (landing on his feet instead of his knees) for the pin.

Rating: D-. Instead of a match, this was much more like a series of quick segments cobbled together. As usual, the women have little business being in a ring and it shows even worse each time. Daffney is a great character but not very good in the ring here and certainly not good enough to carry Torrie. Shane……I still don’t get it. Not at the actual wrestling at least.

Daffney takes a Franchiser (and takes it better) after the match.

Cat gives Awesome Rick Steiner tonight, even though Booker wanted the match.

Here’s a sitdown interview with Scott Steiner. He doesn’t want to talk about Bash at the Beach but Tenay keeps at it until Steiner says Nash isn’t his friend. What Scott did felt right at the time and he doesn’t care about Scott Hall’s family or the fans out there. Steiner goes on a rant about Booker getting the title and then about Tenay calling the Frankensteiner the hurricanrana. Scott doesn’t like Goldberg either and would have beaten him up if Goldberg was smart enough to get into the University of Michigan.

Tenay says Steiner has a lot of hatred bottled up and asks if it dates back to his childhood. That’s enough for Steiner and he chokes Tenay out. Tenay deserved that as he was flat out badgering Steiner here and trying to sound all tough. Then you bring up the guy’s childhood? You earned that beating.

The Dragons try to go after Cat again but this time he ducks and lets them hit each other. Kaz gets put in a fireman’s carry and spun around so he hits his partners. Funny but just like the Kanyon Cutters: is this going anywhere or is it another joke for Russo and Ferrara’s amusement?

Lance Storm vs. Kidman

Kidman jumps him in the aisle but gets caught in the corner with some dropkicks. Heenan: “You know a lot of people are talking about this Lance Storm.” Stevie: “I haven’t heard them.” Storm loads up a chair in the corner but gets small packaged for two instead. A hurricanrana staggers Storm but he backdrops Kidman out to the floor. Storm’s northern lights suplex gets two and a superplex gets the same. Kidman tries a rollup but gets kicked into the chair for his efforts. Like most of the schnooks in this company, Storm tries a powerbomb and eats a faceplant for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but really uninteresting as you had two guys doing moves to each other and then one guy won. Certainly not bad or anything but I never cared about what happened. Then again I’ll take not caring over wanting to jump off a bridge any day on this show.

On a side note, one of the people that could actually powerbomb Kidman was La Parka. I know he’s been gone for awhile, but that powerbomb got me thinking about the people who aren’t around at this point. You can really see the cost cutting coming into play as a lot of names who had been around for a long time have just disappeared.

Buff Bagwell and his mom Judy finally arrive. Buff leaves her in the car (dude come on) and here’s Kanyon to volunteer to show her around. You can see a look in his eye.

Back from a break and Judy is in a neck brace and being taken away in an ambulance. Oh I would have loved to see her take that move.

Rick Steiner vs. Mike Awesome

Awesome elbows him off the middle rope to start and there’s a BIG section of empty seats opposite the camera. As in like twenty of them. That’s just horrible. After a quick trip to the floor, Rick kicks him low (which the referee could clearly see) and shouts a lot. Steiner loads him onto his shoulder and rams him into the buckle, followed by a German suplex for two. Mike grabs an Alabama Slam for two and the camera reveals even more empty seats in the corner. A belly to belly superplex gets two for Rick and he yells at the referee a lot, allowing Mike to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. Awesome was trying and Rick looked better than he had in a long time but he’s still a horrible excuse for a wrestler who can barely do anything without looking like he has no idea what he’s doing. I’m hoping Rick isn’t in for a full time return here as I was just getting over watching him help screw this company up last year.

Rick stays on him post match until Booker makes the save.

Positively Kanyon vs. Jeff Jarrett

Booker is on commentary and this is now the #1 contenders match all over again. Jeff gets an early two off a backslide and Kanyon gets the same off a small package. Kanyon is annoyed at the pace of the count (a very common complaint tonight) and has to settle for a top rope Fameasser. Jeff bails to the floor so Kanyon points at Booker, allowing Jarrett to get in a suplex on the outside. Both guys are whipped into a variety of metal objects with Kanyon getting the better of it.

The sitout Alabama slam gets two but the swinging book misses, allowing Jeff to DDT him onto the book (Heenan: “I’ve seen the book kill a lot of guys.”) for two. The referee won’t let Jeff use the guitar and a book shot gets two with Jeff going to the ropes for the break. Now it’s Jeff’s turn to go after Stevie and Booker, triggering a brawl. Bagwell comes out to attack Kanyon but security pulls him away, allowing the Stroke to put Kanyon away and send him to New Blood Rising (again).

Rating: C. As usual when you let talented guys have a match, it usually winds up being entertaining stuff. This was one of the better matches of the night (again due to having some time) and the ending made enough sense, but it’s still nothing that I’ve going to remember in a few minutes, which is another one of the major problems with this era.

Jeff and Booker yell at each other a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was a weird one with a lot of the Russo tropes coming out but at a much slower pace. That leaves you with a very odd show that isn’t really interesting but feels more like a collection of bad matches. I’d put this above the Russo shows due to more coherence…..and that’s about the end of its positives. Neither guy knows what they’re doing and it gets more and more clear every time I watch one of their shows. I’ll take Ferrara over Russo for now, but Terry Taylor and Kevin Sullivan are sounding a lot better every single day.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – December 3, 2015: Back To The Minor League

Smackdown
Date: December 3, 2015
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Booker T., Jerry Lawler, Rich Brennan

Things started to pick up a bit on Monday as we saw the formation of a new team in the League of Nations. This gives Reigns some more odds to overcome (again) as he gets ready for his second shot at Sheamus in a week and a half at TLC. The only match tonight is Bray Wyatt vs. Bubba Ray Dudley. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of the Sheamus vs. Reigns issues from Raw, including the formation of the League of Nations.

Reigns, the Usos and Ambrose are in the ring to start with Roman talking about being in the ring with his family. All three of these men are like brothers to him and he hugs Dean, who he’s known for five years but there have been enough memories for thirty. Reigns wants to get his hands on Sheamus and the League of Nations tonight so here are Sheamus and company. The fans chant USA but Sheamus says the four of them all have Green Cards. Well Rusev doesn’t but he’s working on it.

Sheamus brings up Reigns’ five minute title reign but it’s worth it because now there’s the cool Sheamus 5:15 shirt. There has been an eight man tag made for tonight and Sheamus lists off all eight men in the match to fill in even more time. This brings out New Day for some reason with Woods asking why Reigns is so serious. Big E. renames Roman the Ruiner and Kofi has a new match to announce for later tonight: New Day vs. Usos/Ambrose and if the Usos and Ambrose can’t win, Reigns is going to fight the League of Nations on his own tonight.

I’m liking the League of Nations idea and it’s a lot more interesting that having Reigns out there to talk about his match with Sheamus on his own. That’s not Reigns’ strength as he’s much better with someone to bounce off of. The League offers several options for Reigns to feud with as well as making Sheamus feel like a much bigger deal instead of just that guy who won the title because of a briefcase.

Tyler Breeze vs. Neville

Dolph Ziggler is on commentary. Neville flips over Breeze for a rollup out of the corner to start and we hit an armbar. Dolph recap his history of trading wins with Breeze as Neville sends him to the floor and we take a break. Back with Neville throwing Breeze off a front facelock and clotheslining him out to the floor for a big flip dive.

A standing shooting star press gets two for Neville back inside as the fans are trying to get into this but can’t keep cheering for very long. The Supermodel kick gets two for Breeze, only to have Neville come back with one of his own. Summer offers a distraction though and the Unprettier puts Neville away at 7:56.

Rating: C. Breeze is another example of a guy who could do something if they would stop having him lose so many matches. He surprised people when he was down in NXT and could do the same thing here with pure hard work and it’s something that is always going to work in WWE, assuming you don’t job him out every week. Unfortunately the same could be said about Neville.

We take a quick look at Charlotte beating Becky Lynch with a handful of trunks.

Becky says she understands why Charlotte did what she did and they’re still best friends. Brie Bella and Alicia Fox come in and to call her naïve until Charlotte comes in to say this is a new generation. Becky and Charlotte are still a bit tense but it seems to be ok.

Brie Bella vs. Becky Lynch

Alicia and Charlotte are here as seconds as Booker says he doesn’t like the factions idea. Becky armdrags her to start and Brie fakes an ankle injury to mock Charlotte, earning her a dropkick to the face. Brie starts in with the YES Kicks as we cut to the back where Tamina is holding a pinata while Naomi swings a stick.

The BRIE MODE knee gets two and we hit a seated abdominal stretch. Becky quickly gets up and makes her comeback with a dropkick and t-bone suplex for two. The threat of the Disarm-Her sends Becky running to the ropes and into Charlotte. Now the Disarm-Her goes on but Charlotte comes in to go after Brie for the DQ at 2:54. Lawler defends Charlotte but that’s totally on her. How dare she make us listen to BRRRRRRRRIIIIIIEEEEE MODE all over again.

Becky is ticked post match.

Neville is in the back when Miz stops him to make fun of his ears. Social media doesn’t like Neville’s lack of personality so Miz offers to mentor him. Neville reminds him of Daniel Bryan and look what Miz did for him. Neville takes his card and a copy of Santa’s Little Helper on DVD.

Rusev and Lana (in a dress and with her hair in a braided ponytail) call Ryback a barbarian (not the Barbarian of course). Lana’s accent slipped a lot during this.

New Day vs. Dean Ambrose/Usos

If the New Day wins, Reigns is in a 4-1 handicap match tonight. Jey chops Woods down to start and it’s already time for the imitation Unicorn Stampede for Xavier. Jimmy gets dragged into the corner for some New Day stomping (showing them how it’s done) and Big E.’s elbow to the jaw for two. Woods’ chinlock doesn’t go very far as Jimmy fights up and makes a quick tag off to Dean.

Everything breaks down for a bit with Ambrose clotheslining Big E. on the floor but getting crotched on the top back inside. Woods asks what happened to Dean as we take a break. Back with the real Unicorn Stampede keeping Ambrose in trouble, meaning it’s time for some tromboning and dancing. A big kick gets two for Kofi and Big E. gets the same off a belly to belly. Dean finally gets smart and low bridges Big E. to the floor but has to roll through Kofi’s cross body instead of tagging.

The rebound lariat allows the tag to Jey a few seconds later and it’s time for some serious house cleaning. Woods takes the pop up Samoan drop for two but Big E. catches a diving Ambrose. Big E. is nice enough to hold him there for a suicide dive from Jey in a really staged looking spot. Jimmy dives at Kofi but tweaks the knee from Raw, which gets tied in the ropes to make it even worse. Woods adds a Shining Wizard to pin Jimmy at 14:00.

Rating: C+. New Day reminds me more and more of Edge and Christian every time I watch them. They can nail the comedy but just as importantly they can have a good match when they need to. This sets up the main event and gave us a good stretch of wrestling in the process. That’s exactly what they needed it to be and everything worked well here.

The Wyatts tell the Dudleys they’re here.

D-Von Dudley vs. Bray Wyatt

Again, can’t they keep a match that they set up the day before this was taped? It doesn’t really matter which Dudley it is but since that’s the case, why bother switching it? Dreamer is here with the Dudleys. The Wyatts’ entrance starts and……R-Truth is on the stage in Wyatt gear. After a wave, here are the real Wyatts with Truth gone. I can get behind this gag.

An early Rowan distraction doesn’t work and D-Von takes over with a Thesz press. Bray quickly snapmares him down and puts on a chinlock though, allowing Bubba to play cheerleader. You can say a lot of things about Bubba, but he is never one to sit around and do nothing during a match. Back up and Sister Abigail puts D-Von away at 1:55. That was quick.

Post match the Wyatts load up a table and Strowman chokes Bubba out. Dreamer takes the table bump and Harper welcomes him home. The ECW guys are all stacked up and Bray poses over them.

Roman Reigns vs. League of Nations

4-1 handicap. Still no Lana or Colter out with the League. Before the match, Reigns says the important thing is Jimmy’s being ok. Renee Young comes up to say Reigns has to go out there on his own but he’s ready to bring the pain. Del Rio starts for his team and gets punched into his corner. Booker: “Roman Reigns is a man alone on an island right now. Like Gilligan.” Thankfully Lawler is there to correct him as Sheamus comes in and goes right after Reigns, dragging him into the wrong corner.

Reigns fights back until Barrett trips him from the floor……which is good for an elimination. Lawler calls him Wade (probably earning himself a fine) and the League is rightfully ticked off as we go to a break. Back with Del Rio punching in the corner and Rusev getting two off a belly to back suplex. Rusev throws him to the floor for a beating from the partners as the numbers are dominating.

Sheamus’ release suplex gets two and we hit the chinlock. Roman finally gets up a boot to stop a charging Rusev and scores with a Samoan drop. The fans think this is awesome. What the heck are they watching? It’s not bad but it’s certainly not awesome. Roman gets up and isolates Del Rio but Rusev comes in for a distraction. The Backstabber gets two for Del Rio but Reigns nails a quick spear for the same with Sheamus making the save. The apron boot hits Rusev and a clothesline off the steps drops Sheamus. Del Rio gets thrown over the announcers’ table and Reigns beats the count back in at 15:22.

Rating: C. That ending felt like something out of an old Smackdown game. That’s the strategy you would use if you were in a big handicap match and you knew that you weren’t going to win even in a video game because it was too ridiculous. There would have been nothing wrong with the League getting disqualified here or Reigns brawling to a double countout but there’s something wrong with Reigns winning.

Ambrose and the Usos come out for the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I’ve been enjoying this League of Nations idea, even if it’s just something short term. Sheamus vs. Reigns isn’t a feud that is going to work on its own so why not throw in most of the upper midcard and main event scene to mix it up and strengthen the story a lot? The rest of the show was a bunch of quick stuff but they’re doing the important story right and that’s what matters right now.

Results

Tyler Breeze b. Neville – Unprettier

Brie Bella b. Becky Lynch via DQ when Charlotte interfered

New Day b. Usos/Dean Ambrose – Shining Wizard to Jimmy

Bray Wyatt b. D-Von Dudley – Sister Abigail

Roman Reigns b. League of Nations via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Obtuse Wrestling Angles Podcast Appearance

http://obtuseangles.libsyn.com/the-obtuse-angles-podcast-special-guest-tommy-hall-pt-3

This is my third appearance on the show in which we discuss some TNA.  Note that this was recorded back in July so some of the jokes might be a bit dated.  Also keep in mind that this is NOT safe for work.




Impact Wrestling – December 2, 2015: Bore Me No Further

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 2, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We’re in week nine of the World Title tournament and it’s finally time to get to the round of sixteen, meaning single elimination matches. The brackets were revealed last week and we’ve been promised to have this round done tonight. In theory the finals will be held at the live Impact on January 5 but that hasn’t been confirmed. Let’s get to it.

Quick preview of the round of sixteen starts things off.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: DJZ vs. Ethan Carter III

DJZ goes right after him with some rollups for early near falls but DJZ knees him in the ribs to stop that cold. Carter gets sent to the floor for a suicide dive though with Tyrus not giving him much of a heads up. Back in and DJZ gets sent outside as well, allowing Tyrus to run him over with a headbutt to the chest. Dinero: “Josh I don’t know if you’ve ever been hit in the head with a coconut before.” A chinlock doesn’t get Carter very far so DJZ comes back with his fast paced offense, capped off by the tornado DDT for two. DJZ’s hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb, followed by the 1%er to give Carter the pin at 6:28.

Rating: D+. Watchable match here with the ending never in doubt. It’s nice to finally get through some of these matches so we can get rid of the lower level names and get down to the bigger matches. I’m glad they kept this one short as the match wasn’t good enough to make me care about seeing it go any longer but it didn’t overstay its welcome.

Gail Kim is ready for Tigre Uno because she’s so proud to be one of the sixteen WRESTLERS in this tournament. Gail, you’re great in the ring, beautiful and very talented, but SWEET GOODNESS you are so boring.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Gail Kim vs. Tigre Uno

Tigre isn’t sure what to do to start so Gail kicks him in the ribs. Thankfully Pope mentions that these two are both champions, even though there are no belts in sight. Tigre goes with some basic wrestling including a front facelock but Gail comes right back with a spinning cross body. Eat Defeat is broken up so Gail settles for a Black Widow. Tigre powers her out to the floor for a plancha but Gail snaps off a hurricanrana back inside. Gail’s normal offense including the Figure Four around the post has him in trouble, only to have Tigre sit down on a sunset flip for the pin at 5:32.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. Gail was built up as a potential star throughout the last two months but then she just loses here in five minutes. I’m glad that Tigre won because he’s been a solid X-Division Champion and it would suck to see him lose really early on, but did they really need to build Gail up as something only to have her lose that easily?

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Bram vs. Davey Richards

The winner gets Carter. Bram shoves him down to start and Davey might need to change strategy. With the arm work not getting him anywhere, Davey takes it to the floor for some kicks to the chest. They look good but don’t seem to have a lot of effect as Bram takes him up into a fireman’s carry to drop him face first onto the steps. Davey comes back with a drop toehold to send Bram into the steps as most of this match has been on the floor.

A double stomp from the steps keeps Bram in trouble and Davey takes him back inside for a northern lights suplex. Josh thinks Davey winning would be an upset as the top rope double stomp gets two on Bram. An F5 plants Davey and Bram yells a lot. The Brighter Side of Suffering is countered into a small package to give Davey the pin at 7:00.

Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad but Richards still doesn’t do anything for me as a singles guy. His passive aggressive promos probably have a lot to do with it as he seems like he’s going out of his way to be nice, which really makes him more boring than anything else. The same problem that the tournament has had throughout is still here though: these guys are just doing moves to each other and there’s no personal issue, making it a lot harder to get invested.

Eli Drake isn’t worried about Mahabali Shera.

Video on Shera’s success so far.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Mahabali Shera vs. Eli Drake

Josh talks about Shera wanting to make it to the semifinals but the part where he says “in Mumbai, India” is edited out. An early clothesline puts Drake on the floor and it’s time to dance. Back in and Shera shrugs off some kicks to the chest and scores with more clotheslines. Sky High eliminates Drake at 3:12.

Rating: D. Well that was quick and thankfully they kept the dancing to a minimum, but good night I’m not getting behind this dancing schnook. He’s gotten better but at the end of the day he’s a guy who pops his shoulders and does one good move. For some reason that makes him one of the top eight wrestlers in the company? Really? It’s clear that they were putting him in this spot because of the India tour but like so many other things TNA plans, they couldn’t get it to work. Oh wait there were “security concerns”. Right. Maybe they can get the Los Angeles Coliseum. I hear Wrestlemania VII is over now.

Matt Hardy says he’ll win.

Pope and Josh pick the remaining matches.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Bobby Roode vs. Matt Hardy

Feeling out process to start with both guys getting in some low level offense. They head outside with Matt clotheslining the post to give Roode a target back inside. Roode cranks on the arm and grabs a Hennig necksnap but stops to yell at the fans. Is he a heel again? The Crossface doesn’t stay on long and Matt comes back with a Side Effect for two. It’s back to the Crossface but Matt is up again, setting up the Twist of Fate to advance at 6:36.

Rating: C. How am I supposed to feel anything about this? Roode worked on the arm for a few minutes and then Matt did his finisher to advance. That’s this tournament in a nutshell: two people have a match and one of them wins. There’s nothing more or less than that because we don’t have time to fit in any emotion or stories so this is what you’re getting, like it or not.

Drew Galloway is ready.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Awesome Kong vs. Jesse Godderz

The winner gets Matt Hardy. Before the match, Jesse implies that Kong wants to do a different kind of wrestling with him. As stupid as this is, it’s the first time all night where we’ve had anything more than “I want the title and I’ll win.” Jesse puckers up and gets punched in the mouth as Kong starts in a hurry.

A splash in the corner crushes Jesse and three straight slams send him to the floor. Godderz says Kong’s one night in Heaven is off so Kong throws him into the steps. Josh isn’t sure if this would be an upset as Kong throws Jesse back inside. Kong misses a splash though and gets rolled up with a handful of trunks for the pin at 3:12.

Rating: D. You knew this was coming didn’t you? I mean, the Knockouts advancing might have been interesting and something worth seeing so that had to be crushed in the first round at the hands of Tigre Uno (not as bad) and a comedy goof in Jesse Godderz. To be fair though, Kong wasn’t going to be able to do much due to all her injuries anyway but this was another option that could have been interesting going nowhere in this way too long tournament.

The announcers recap the night so far.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Kenny King vs. Eric Young

The winner gets Tigre Uno. King grabs the arm to start before grabbing a headlock to keep Young in trouble. Back up and Eric sends him to the floor for an attempt at a countout, only to have King do a handstand into a kick to the head from the apron. That earns him a forearm to put him outside again. King realizes that going toe to toe isn’t working so he comes back in with a springboard clothesline and a bad looking spinebuster for two. Not that it matters as the piledriver sends Young to the next round at 6:22.

Rating: D. Well they didn’t have much of a choice here as Young is the only one that actually still works for the company. Run of the mill match for the night so far with the limited action and almost nothing interesting until the ending. Young winning was the obvious ending and he’s got a good looking piledriver but this was another predictable match, which wasn’t what this show needed.

Videos on Lashley and Galloway to set up the main event.

Eric Young yells about being on a crazy tidal wave.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Drew Galloway vs. Lashley

The winner gets Shera. Lashley powers him into the corner to start and chokes with his boot as we take an early break. Back with Lashley missing a charge in the corner and getting dropped with a top rope clothesline. Drew sends him shoulder first into the post to weaken the spear, which is the most common strategy used against a power wrestler, even though it almost never works. Back in and Lashley rolls some Germans before a powerslam gets two. Galloway comes back with White Noise and loads up the Claymore, only to run into the spear for the pin at 13:53.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. Galloway could have been an interesting way to go here but instead let’s go one step closer to being right back where we were a year ago. Lashley still has a lot in him and is a good option on top, but I was pulling for Galloway here to give us something fresh instead.

Here are the updated brackets:

Ethan Carter III

Davey Richards

Lashley

Mahabali Shera

Tigre Uno

Eric Young

Jesse Godderz

Matt Hardy

A long preview of next week’s round of eight takes us out.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m not going to bother re-listing all the issues I have with this show and tournament as I managed to squeeze them in during all the short matches that were just like the first eight weeks of short matches this tournament has offered. This was a step forward for the show but they’re dragging this out as long as they possibly can and it’s just not working. Want proof that it’s not working? The Impact after Bound For Glory 2011 drew just over two million fans. Last week drew 234,000 fans, which was up over the previous week. That’s a loss of 88% of the audience in four years.

Let me repeat that: in four years, nearly nine out of every ten people that had been watching TNA have stopped. A big reason why would probably be the same people in the main events over and over. Of the people still in this tournament with a realistic chance of winning (Lashley, Hardy, Carter and maybe Young and Shera), four of them are former World Champions. Galloway was a good option for something fresh but let’s make sure to get rid of him in the first round before he makes a splash in this thing. As I’ve said so many times over the years: they never learn.

Results

Ethan Carter III b. DJZ – 1%er

Tigre Uno b. Gail Kim – Rollup

Davey Richards b. Bram – Small package

Mahabali Shera b. Eli Drake – Sky High

Matt Hardy b. Bobby Roode – Twist of Fate

Jesse Godderz b. Awesome Kong – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Eric Young b. Kenny King – Piledriver

Lashley b. Drew Galloway – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6