Monday Night Raw
Date: August 2, 1993
Location: Castle Recreation Center, Alexandria Bay, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

We’re back to the old Raw’s with another short month. The build to Summerslam is on so this is going to be a show focused on Lex Luger again. Other than that, we’ll need to build up the rest of the card, which doesn’t exactly have the best reputation. Maybe the build will be better though. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Doink The Clown challenging Randy Savage and having two more Doink’s pop up for the mind games.

Opening sequence.

A very patriotic looking Randy Savage is ready for all the Doink’s and says he might have a little surprise of his own.

Steiner Brothers vs. Duane Gill/Barry Horowitz

Non-title. The shots of the arena during the Steiners’ entrance shows you just how tiny the venue really is. Scott powers Horowitz around without much trouble to start but misses a charge in the corner. Horowitz pats himself on the back for the dodge and is promptly caught in a Boston crab. Rick comes in and Barry yells a bit before Gill comes in to hammer away. This earns him a quick clothesline and it’s back to Scott for the Frankensteiner and the fast pin. Total squash, as it should have been.

We get the first part of a series to help us get to know Lex Luger on his way to the Summerslam title match. He talks about how important it was to get a good education to go with athletics. His friends made fun of him when he was working so hard at school, even though he moved around a lot as a kid. To this day, his friends are amazed to see him doing what he does today. He’s always nervous and he fights it to this day. Thrilling indeed. Far better than, I don’t know, having him wrestle.

Adam Bomb vs. Tony Roy

Johnny Polo is here with Bomb. A waistlock takes Roy down without much effort as Bobby talks about knowing Marilyn Monroe. Polo thinks his parents deserve applause as Roy is sent hard into the corner. A drop across the top rope and a top rope clothesline set up the Atom Smasher (powerbomb) to give Bomb the pin.

Next week: Tatanka vs. Mr. Hughes. Oh yeah it’s 1993.

Doink The Clown vs. Randy Savage

Hold on though as Savage wants to check on the floor for extra Doinks before being ready to go. Doink bails into the corner to start as the fans are rather behind Savage. A rake to the eyes slows Savage down so he goes outside for a chair, which is enough of a distraction for Doink to get in a cheap shot. The Boston crab has Savage in more trouble and Doink even grabs the rope for a bonus. With that broken up, Doink wraps the leg around the rope and hammers away in the ropes.

Savage gets away and hits the running knee to send Doink outside. A posting cuts Savage down though and we take a break. Back with Doink hitting a dropkick and we hit the neck crank. That doesn’t last long either and Doink grabs an abdominal stretch. Doink slams him down but misses the Whoopee Cushion. Savage gets sent outside, where he crawls outside….and is replaced by a miniature version. Doink is so confused that Savage small packages him for the pin.

Rating: C. This got some time but that didn’t exactly make it good. Doink worked on the back for a good while until the screwiness came out. Savage was pretty clearly just kind of there until Crush came back and this wasn’t exactly great to see. Doink was a bizarre character but he could make it work. Just not with the “funny” stuff at the end, which really didn’t work

Post match the Mini Savage bites Doink and poses with the big version.

It’s time for the Summerslam Report. We run down the card with Gene Okerlund pointing out that we don’t know what a Rest In Peace match is yet.

Ted DiBiase calls in to complain about the 1-2-3 Kid. We see a clip of Razor Ramon costing DiBiase a match against the Kid on Wrestling Challenge, causing DiBiase to hang up in disgust.

Heenan is upset over DiBiase….but gets very happy as he sees someone in the ring. That would be the debuting Jim Cornette from Smoky Mountain Wrestling, with Heenan asking the fans if they know who he is. Heenan calls him the greatest manager in wrestling but Cornette says he’s only the best because Heenan retired.

We talk about Smoky Mountain Wrestling and how great Cornette is, but now he’s here with his knockout blow. Cornette, already dripping with sweat, hypes up the Heavenly Bodies, who will be answering the Steiner Brothers’ open challenge for the Tag Team Titles at Summerslam. The thing here is that while Cornette might not have been known in the WWF, all he had to do was be friends with Heenan and the fans knew they shouldn’t like him. That’s so simple and uses Heenan’s status to someone else’s benefit.

Mr. Perfect vs. Barry Hardy

Jim Cornette is on commentary and Vince asks him about various other teams in Smoky Mountain (including the Rock N Roll Express, which is bizarre to hear from Vince’s mouth). Perfect starts fast with a dropkick to the floor, leaving Cornette panicking at a person flying at him. Back in and Perfect works on the leg and rips off part of Hardy’s gear. The PerfectPlex finishes fast.

Another Lex Express video.

Commentary previews next week’s show to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: C. Well, stuff did happen here and that’s a rare thing for this show. That being said, it wasn’t exactly all positive, with stuff like the Lex Luger interview being pretty awful. The long match wasn’t exactly my taste, but Cornette’s debut and watching the Steiners wreck small humans is always worth a look. This isn’t the best time for the WWF though and odds are that isn’t changing anytime soon.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 15, 1994
Location: Lowell Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

We are two weeks away from Summerslam and last week’s show saw a huge focus on Lex Luger vs. Tatanka. Other than that, the Undertaker vs. Fake Undertaker feud is still nothing important and Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart is making up for it. The rest of the card is set and it’s really nothing much to see. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Tatanka accusing Lex Luger of selling out to Ted DiBiase.

Opening sequence.

Commentary previews the show.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Owen Hart

Jim Neidhart is here with Owen. Kid kicks Owen in the face to start fast (ala their classic at the 1994 King of the ring) before starting in on the arm. Back up and Owen pulls him down by the hair as commentary points out that Owen is going to want to beat Kid faster than Bret could beat him five weeks ago (nice touch).

Kid’s headlock keeps Owen down but he finally cheats his way to freedom and nails a headbutt. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Kid hiptosses him down but gets kicked away. Stereo nipups let Kid send him outside for a baseball slide and a big springboard dive (in 1994) makes it worse.

We take a break and come back with Owen suplexing him to the floor in a NASTY crash and then slapping Kid in the face a few times. Some postings keep Kid in trouble and a hard whip into the buckle stays on his bad back. We hit the chinlock with a knee in said back, followed by a neckbreaker for…no cover. Instead Owen goes up top and misses some double knees before missing the enziguri as well. Kid grabs the half crab as the confused fans think you can get a 1-2-3 out of that kind of hold. Neidhart comes in for the DQ at 13:30.

Rating: B. It wasn’t quite the King of the Ring match but the Kid can do some great things in the ring and Owen compliments him very well. I’m not sure if I would have had Owen not be able to put Kid away two weeks before the biggest match of his career, Owen has already proven that he can beat Bret anyway. Good match with a bad ending, the former of which shouldn’t be any kind of a surprise.

Post match, Owen and Neidhart beat the Kid down even more.

It’s time for the Summerslam Report, with a chat about Bret vs. Owen and Undertaker vs. Undertaker. Other than that, Razor Ramon is bringing in Walter Payton to even things out with Shawn Michaels and Diesel.

We hear from Payton, who is ready to take out Shawn (Razor doesn’t actually say anything as Payton does some good cue card reading).

Some more of the card gets a quick look, with another look promised for later tonight. Yay.

Abe Knuckleball Schwartz reminds us that he is on strike. Earlier tonight, he blamed the fans for baseball being on strike, because the owners certainly can’t be blamed. Sweet goodness topical WWF is stupid.

Duke Droese vs. Nick Barbery

Joined in progress after an ICOPRO ad and Droese hits a powerslam. The chinlock goes on as a USA chant starts up for some reason. Barbery fights up and actually gets in a few shots until a clothesline takes his head off. A big elbow finishes Barbery at 1:26. I still think there was something to Droese if he wasn’t saddled with the goofy gimmick.

Leslie Nielsen is still trying to find Undertaker and the puns and plays on words are very strong with this one. After having his own look-a-like arrested, Nielsen promises to solve the case at Summerslam.

Call and waste money to say if Lex Luger sold out or not.

Kwang vs. Tony Roy

Ted DiBiase is on commentary to talk about Lex Luger. Kwang stomps away, sprays mist into the air, stomps away some more, and finishes with a spinwheel kick at 46 seconds.

It’s time for the King’s Court with Ted DiBiase. Jerry Lawler talks about all the people saying there is nothing to DiBiase’s Undertaker so here is Paul Bearer for the big argument. Bearer insists that DiBiase’s is fake and promises the real Undertaker will destroy the fake one at Summerslam. DiBiase brings out the fake Undertaker (who again, looks like an Undertaker cosplayer), with Bearer promising more destruction. Fake Undertaker chokes Bearer out until the lights go off, allowing Bearer to escape.

Mabel vs. Raymond Roy

Oscar raps Mabel to the ring so a big clothesline can drop Roy. A Hennig necksnap of all things connects and an elbow to the face sets up quite the slam. Mabel splashes him in the corner and drops the middle rope elbow for the pin at 2:32 in a nearly literal squash.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Scott Taylor

Joined in progress with Jeff dropkicking him down but Taylor gets a sunset flip for two. Jarrett blocks a rollup attempt but a small package gives Taylor two more. Back up and Jarrett takes him down, setting up the Figure Four for the win at 2:00.

Post match Oscar (rapping again) and Mabel come to the ring for the rap vs. country showdown but referees break it up.

Vince and Randy preview Sunday Night Slam (which is taking place of next week’s Raw) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The opener absolutely carries this show as Summerslam is looking pretty awful outside of Bret vs. Owen. Other than Owen vs. Kid, this was a bunch of squashes and nothing stands out in the slightest (save for Mabel doing a Hennig neck snap). This was a rough time for the company and that was on full display here, with one bad thing after another. Just get through with Summerslam and move on to anything else already.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 21, 1995
Location: Memorial Civic Center, Columbus, Ohio
Attendance: 1,600
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home Raw for In Your House and that means we are in for…well not much on the main event, which is already set. Other than that, we have another Razor Ramon vs. 1-2-3 Kid match as the two of them aren’t getting along. Finally, Men On A Mission are facing Owen Hart and Yokozuna for reasons of evil. Let’s get to it.

Here is last week’s show if you need a recap.

This is a special Thursday edition of the show, which wasn’t mentioned last week.

We open with a recap of last week, with the 1-2-3 Kid costing Razor Ramon a match against British Bulldog. Kid wants to be taken seriously so he’ll have to beat Razor again.

Opening sequence.

Razor Ramon vs. 1-2-3 Kid

During the entrances, we look at Razor attacking Dean Douglas in the classroom at Summerslam in case you want to be told what to expect here. Kid jumps him to start and fires off some kicks to put Razor on the floor. Back in and Razor goes with the power to take him to the corner for the super fall away slam. Razor chops away in the corner and tosses him HARD (with a great bump from the Kid) before working on the arm. A chokeslam gives Razor two but Kid manages to send him outside.

Kid hits a slingshot dropkick (over the top at that) and a spinning kick to the face gets one back inside (the foot on the rope helped). The sleeper takes Ramon down to one knee and we take a break. Back with the hold still on but Razor suplexes his way to freedom. The discus punch drops Kid and there’s the running corner clothesline. Back up and a collision sends Kid into the referee so cue Dean Douglas for a top rope splash to Razor. A VERY delayed cover gives Kid the pin at 10:33.

Rating: C+. Kid getting to bump all over the place worked and Razor gave him a ton of offense at the same time (I for one am shocked). The Kid winning makes a lot more sense and it is smart to let him move up the ladder a bit. Razor is more than a made man so this was a good example of helping bring someone up. Now just do it more often.

Dean Douglas grades the match, with the Kid getting a D (dumb), Razor getting an E (elevate, which Razor is trying to do by face Dean), Dean getting an A (because he’s nifty) and Razor vs. Dean at In Your House getting an N (no brainer).

Tatanka/Kama vs. Savio Vega/Bob Holly

Ted DiBiase is here with Tatanka and Kama. Vega cleans house to start before it’s off to Holly, who works on Kama’s ribs before it’s quickly off to Savio. The kick misses Tatanka but he distracts Holly so Kama can jump Vega. A double slam plants Vega as the referee takes FOREVER to get Holly out. Kama plants him down again and shoves Holly, who still doesn’t get how stupid it is to try to come in.

Vega is mostly destroyed in the corner but finally manages a shot of his own for a needed breather. Holly comes in and now is quite a bit more lethargic (he really isn’t that bright in this match), though a high crossbody does get two on Kama. Everything breaks down and Kama powerslams Holly out of the air (with a nasty landing) for the pin at 5:46.

Rating: C. This was an energetic match but Holly was hardly helping his partner most of the time. They were trying throughout though and that is always nice to see, especially in a nothing match like this one. Kama and Tatanka were pretty much just thrown together, but they did well enough all things considered.

Razor Ramon is ready to hurt Dean Douglas.

Wrestlemania: The Special is coming on September 30, featuring the two main events. That was a big deal.

Jean Pierre LaFitte vs. Brian Walsh

Jean shrugs off an early assault and stomps away as Bret Hart calls in to say he doesn’t like LaFitte stealing his gear over and over. Some shots to the face and chest have Walsh in more trouble as the slow beating continues. The Cannonball (Swanton) finishes Walsh at 3:17.

Rating: C-. Total and complete dominance here and that is how it should be. LaFitte wasn’t going to go anywhere because he’s a pirate of all things in 1995 but putting him in there with Bret is going to make it feel important. That’s the power of someone like Bret and the WWF knew just how big of a deal he really was.

Tag Team Titles: Men On A Mission vs. Owen Hart/Yokozuna

Owen and Yokozuna (with Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji) are defending and Mabel is carried to the ring, with the people carrying him cringing under the weight. Owen kicks away at Mo to start but charges into a powerslam so Mo can stomp away. Mabel comes in and nothing words for Owen, who is knocked out of the corner with ease.

Mo gets in a few more stomps but Owen gets away to bring in Yokozuna. As Owen sends Mo into the steps, the giants stare each other down but stop so Yokozuna can unload in the corner. We take a break and come back with Owen and Mo trying spinwheel kicks at the same time for a double knockdown.

The double tag brings in the giants, with Mabel winning a slugout and hitting a jumping (work with me) clothesline. Mabel throws Owen at Yokozuna and it’s Mo coming back in to slug away. Yokozuna clotheslines Mo down like he’s Yokozuna clotheslining Mo and hands it back to Owen. A cheap shot lets Mo get two of his own as everything breaks down. Owen drop toeholds Mo down and the Yokozuna legdrop is enough to retain the titles at 12:45.

Rating: C. I never would have bet on it but this was pretty decent. If nothing else, Yokozuna could still move well enough here and Mabel was slightly motivated, even after his main event run was dead. Owen was his usual self, so this was about as good as it could have been all things considered.

Diesel and Shawn Michaels are ready to win the Tag Team Titles.

Post break, Owen Hart/Yokozuna and company are still in the ring, with Jim Cornette promising to bring some more gold back at In Your House. They’ll make the Two Dudes With Attitude into the Two Fellas That Are Yellow. Cornette runs over the rules of the match (as you should) and promises that his men are ready to show how great they are. What happened the last time Shawn and Diesel were partners? They got in a fight, and how much worse will it be when they have titles to protect? Cornette: “In Your House, in your face and around their waists!” Great line to wrap this up as Cornette sold the match really well.

Jerry Lawler’s official prediction: Yokozuna wins the WWF Title.

A quick preview of Undertaker vs. British Bulldog for next week wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C+. They did what they could with what is basically a one match In Your House (Bret vs. LaFitte is a maybe at best) and that included a heck of a push for the Triple Header. Other than that though, there isn’t much going on for the show and it could be quite the mess to get through. At least it wasn’t a long build, which probably explains why is isn’t much of a show. They did what they could with what they had here, which is about as good as you can get.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 11, 1995
Location: Memorial Civic Center, Columbus, Ohio
Attendance: 1,600
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Summerslam (and the US Open tennis tournament) so it’s time for the beginning to the build for the next In Your House. Shawn Michaels is on fire after retaining the Intercontinental Title in a ladder match against Razor Ramon and Diesel managed to get rid of King Mabel, because that was a thing. This is also the first ever show to go up against Monday Nitro so you know it’s going to be big. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon gives us a rather energetic preview of the show, which features a double main event as it is the Fall Season Premiere.

Opening sequence, featuring the debut of the Raw on the roof deal (the helicopter intro as you might know it).

Razor Ramon vs. British Bulldog

Jim Cornette is here with Bulldog as Razor starts in on the arm. Razor sends him outside for a consultation with Cornette as Lawler brings up Summerslam 1992 as a reason for Bulldog to get a WWF Title shot against Bret Hart. Back in and Razor cranks on the arm some more but Bulldog is right back with the delayed vertical suplex.

A clothesline gives Bulldog two and we get another pause, as both of them are rather fond of just stopping after a big move. Bulldog hits the gorilla press and we take a break, coming back with a slam getting two on Razor. Another slam lets Razor go up top but Bulldog stops to look at….nothing apparent, allowing Razor to pull him back down.

The referee gets bumped and Razor hits the Edge, only to have Dean Douglas come in for a top rope elbow (with Razor laying there with his head down in a way no one would do while making a normal cover). 1-2-3 Kid’s save doesn’t work and Bulldog hits the powerslam. The Kid comes off the top and hits….well it was supposed to be Razor but Bulldog didn’t move fast enough so he hit both of them and it’s….something at 7:12.

Rating: C-. All of the random staring around and just waiting for stuff to happen really hurt things here as it felt really awkward. It doesn’t help that Douglas is still a lame character and it’s hard to care about anything he is doing. Kid and Razor having tensions is interesting though, and odds are a big showdown is coming.

Post match the beatdown is on, with Bulldog beating on both of them and Cornette getting in some stomps as well. We don’t actually get a winner announced.

Post break, Vince McMahon is in the ring to talk to Ramon and the Kid, with Lawler talking over him in something you don’t hear that often. With Vince clarifying that Razor was disqualified because of Kid’s interference, Kid wants to know what was up with Razor costing him a match last week. Kid is tired of the lack of disrespect and offers to beat Razor again next week. With Kid gone, Razor talks about what he has been doing lately and now the Kid wants another piece of him? Sure, let’s do it. This was a simple story and they explained it just fine, but Lawler was REALLY distracting here and I’m not sure why he would do that.

Video on Owen Hart/Yokozuna vs. Men On A Mission. Holy sweet goodness that sounds horrifying.

Smoking Gunns vs. Rad Radford/Brooklyn Brawler

Brawler and Radford jump them from behind and send Billy outside but Billy is right back in with a double clothesline. Billy’s swinging neckbreaker drops Brawler and it’s time to crank on the arm. Bart comes back in and gets caught with a cheap shot from Radford as we talk about badly dressed celebrities. The comeback is on and everything breaks down, with the Sidewinder finishing Brawler at 2:48. Just a step above a squash.

Goldust is in Hollywood and quoting Night Of The Living Dead. He’s interested in hearing more about the Creatures of the Night and using his gold to get rid of the darkness.

Isaac Yankem vs. Scott Taylor

Say it with me: it’s Scotty 2 Hotty. Yankem sends him into the corner and grabs a chokeslam as there are a lot of empty seats to be seen. The DDS finishes Taylor at 2:14.

Todd Pettengill tells us What’s Happening In Your House and says he has a new “tartar control attitude”. We hear about the Triple Header main event, with Diesel/Shawn Michaels vs. Owen Hart/Yokozuna, with all titles on the line in one match. As a bonus, if anyone is intentionally disqualified or causes a countout, the titles change hands anyway. The rest of the card gets a rundown as well and….well there’s a reason 1995 isn’t the most fondly remembered time.

For $25.00 + $3.95 shipping and handling, you get the Shawn Michaels pleather hat and sunglasses, plus a poster. That’s a heck of a deal actually.

Shawn is ready to beat Sid.

Intercontinental Title: Sycho Sid vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is defending and Ted DiBiase is here with Sid. Some shots to the head in the corner annoy Sid and a flying clothesline takes him down. More lefts and rights have him on the floor but he comes back in and throws Shawn outside. That earns him a skinning of the cat and Shawn knocks him to the floor again, leaving Sid rather frustrated.

Back in and Sid hits a release spinebuster to drop Shawn hard and some of the frustration is relieved. Shawn gets sent onto the top and kicked out to the floor, where Sid drops him face first onto the apron. DiBiase validates his job by getting in some stomps and we take a break. Back with Sid hitting a one armed chokeslam but the powerbomb is broken up. There’s the flying forearm and a pair of superkicks retain the title at 7:21.

Rating: C+. They didn’t bother with anything complicated here as Shawn got beaten down and then come back with the big win in the end. Shawn knows how to do a comeback as well as anyone and he was around the peak of his first run at this point. Not exactly a classic, but it did what it needed to. This was also the match that Eric Bischoff infamously spoiled on Nitro and….yeah it really doesn’t change the fact that it was good enough.

Post match Shawn strips a bit and various fans approve while Lawler does not.

Post break, Shawn and Diesel are ready to win the Tag Team Titles at In Your House. Shawn laughing off the idea of losing the Intercontinental Title is very…well Shawn of him actually. They’re two dudes with attitude and they’ll be two chaps with all the straps.

We get a preview of next week’s show, complete with clips of the matches. That’s quite the change of pace and I don’t remember Raw doing that more than a few times ever. If nothing else, how often did they acknowledge that it was taped in advance?

Overall Rating: C. They had to rush into the In Your House main event and it makes sense to go with something quick like the Triple Header. The match was hammered home here and the Razor vs. Kid match should be good. Not the most eventful show, but as usual, it’s hard to get that annoyed at a show that runs an hour and has a completely decent main event.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 27, 1993
Location: New Haven Coliseum, New Haven, Connecticut
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

Things are going to be going in a different direction this week as the Steiner Brothers, who have been the focus of the last two weeks, have been suspended. That means we are going to need something fresh, and that could mean just about anything around here. Hopefully they pick one of the better options of what they have available so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Jack Tunney (he has to be about done) joins us to announce that Shawn Michaels has been suspended for no selling title defenses (or allegedly drugs, though Shawn still denies that to this day). Therefore, Shawn has been stripped of the Intercontinental Title (a first for the title, with Ultimate Warrior relinquishing it in 1990 rather than having it taken from him) and a battle royal will be held next week. The last two men in that match will meet the following week to crown a new champion. Better than just giving it to the winner of the battle royal.

Opening sequence.

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

In case you didn’t get enough at Wrestlemania VIII. Feeling out process to start as Vince talks about next week’s battle royal. Martel takes him down and jumps some jacks and they fight over arm control. Tatanka gets driven into the corner to break up a hammerlock as we hear about Heenan getting over his cold. That earns Martel a hard crash to the floor and we hit the stall button. Savage: “STALL-ING!”

The chase finally brings Martel back inside where he stomps away before avoiding a middle rope spinning crossbody. Tatanka gets kicked to the floor and we take a break. Back with Martel putting on the abdominal stretch as Vince describes this as a seesaw match, back and force.

A belly to back gives Martel two more but a slingshot splash hits raised knees. Martel is fine enough to grab a reverse chinlock but Tatanka makes the comeback and hits a high crossbody. The warpath is on and Tatanka slams him down, setting up a top rope chop to the head. Martel sends a charging Tatanka over the top to the floor only to be pulled outside as well. The brawl sends them to the double countout at 10:44.

Rating: C. Completely watchable match, but there is only so much to get out of Tatanka vs. Martel in 1993. Tatanka is still undefeated so they didn’t want to give Martel the win, though at the end of the day, Martel needed to be reestablished after being gone for a bit. Not bad, but the ending didn’t do it any favors.

Joe Fowler tells us the names in the battle royal:

IRS
Randy Savage
Adam Bomb
Giant Gonzalez
Mr. Perfect
Owen Hart
Rick Martel
Jimmy Snuka
Bob Backlund
Pierre
Jacques
Razor Ramon
Mabel
Diesel
MVP
1-2-3 Kid
Bam Bam Bigelow
Marty Jannetty
Tatanka
Bastion Booger

Ludvig Borga vs. Phil Apollo

Borga rushes him in the corner to start and hits a side slam as Heenan talks about reading the newspaper in the bathroom. A spinebuster plants Apollo and Borga tosses him outside. Back in and a delayed vertical suplex plants Apollo again. The torture rack finishes Apollo at 3:17.

Rating: C-. Total squash, but I’ve always liked Borga to a certain extent. You need to have him beat people up to make him seem more important, though the showdown with Lex Luger has to come at some point. Yes Borga is little more than than another foreign monster, but it still works well enough.

Jimmy Snuka vs. Paul Van Dale

Snuka jumps him to start but gets elbowed in the back of the head. Heenan calls Crush to ask why Randy Savage is in the battle royal but Crush isn’t. A headbutt drops Van Dale and Snuka hits him in the throat for a bonus. Savage tells Crush to say what he has to say as Crush talks about how he is in great shape. A shot to the ribs drops Van Dale again as Heenan wonders if he can get the charges on the call reversed. Snuka’s leapfrog into the chop connects as I feel like I’m in a weird time warp. The slingshot suplex into the Superfly Splash finishes Van Dale at 4:34.

Rating: C-. The Splash still looked good and the fans reacted to it, but Snuka in 1993 feels like it belongs at some independent show rather than on Raw. He didn’t look great and the squash wasn’t exactly interesting, but I guess they were going for some nostalgia. It didn’t exactly work, but they were trying.

We look back at PJ Walker upsetting IRS thanks to Razor Ramon’s distraction.

IRS is in his office and still livid over the loss. He’ll get some revenge on Ramon in the battle royal. The closeup of IRS’ face is more than a little weird to see. Even weirder: Vince calls him Mr. Rotundo.

Tag Team Titles: Quebecers vs. Barry Horowitz/Reno Riggins

The Quebecers, with Johnny Polo, are defending. Hold on though as Riggins is sick so Horowitz has a replacement: the 1-2-3 Kid! The Kid kicks away at Jacques to start and everything breaks down fast. The champs are dropkicked outside for a meeting with Polo as the fans approve. Back in and a running elbow hits the Kid in the face to take over as Vince talks about the battle royal again.

Jacques slams Pierre onto the Kid and Pierre drops Jacques onto the Kid as the champs take over. There’s a double hot shot to keep the Kid in trouble but he kicks his way to freedom. With Jacques out on the floor and water to the face not working, Polo calls for a stretcher. Jacques is wheeled out but Pierre gets to keep defending on his own! I don’t know if that’s how the rules work but we take a break and come back with Pierre dropping a middle rope legdrop for two on Horowitz.

The middle rope headbutt makes it worse but for some reason, Pierre slam Horowitz into the corner for the tag to the Kid. A bunch of strikes put Pierre down but he low bridges Kid out to the floor. Polo sends the mostly out of it Kid back inside for the pin to retain the titles at 13:23.

Rating: C+. This was a nice change of pace as there was actually a story to the match. The fact that the Quebecers had to get cut in half to give Horowitz and the Kid a chance is kind of telling about how the match was going to go, but the did try. For a one off though, it was working, or at least as well as it could with a relatively uninterested crowd.

Razor Ramon comes out to say he’s ready for the battle royal, with Heenan trying to stir up some issues between Ramon and Savage.

Overall Rating: C+. This show had one goal and one goal only: make you care about next week’s battle royal. That was the entire focus of the show and it actually worked well, as it was treated as the most important thing going on anywhere. I could go for seeing the match now, which is impressive as I’ve seen it before and it wasn’t very good in the first place. Nice show here, with some ok wrestling but a locked in focus on what really matters.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 21, 1994
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

This is a weird one as the most recent show (from two weeks ago due to the Dog Show) was taped from the previous cycle, then this one is live, and then next week is taped again from the previous location. Other than that though, we have Razor Ramon and Marty Jannetty challenging for the Tag Team Titles, plus Bret Hart vs. a Heavenly Body. Which Heavenly Body? A Heavenly Body. Let’s get to it.

Here is the most recent episode if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Vince introduces Savage for commentary, which is a big update over Bastion Booger. Savage is excited to be here believe it or not.

Tag Team Titles: Quebecers vs. Razor Ramon/Marty Jannetty

The Quebecers, with Johnny Polo are defending. Actually hang on as we have a switch.

Tag Team Titles: Quebecers vs. Razor Ramon/1-2-3 Kid

The Quebecers, with Johnny Polo, are defending and we don’t get a reason for the switch. We start fast with Razor fall away slamming the Kid at Pierre and the champs need a breather on the floor. The stalling continues for a good while before they get back inside with Pierre slowing it down against Kid. He slows it down so much that Razor comes in for a top wristlock into a headlock.

Polo offers a distraction though, allowing the Quebecers to stomp away. Razor gets outside and Razor’s Edges Polo on the floor, which is about as big of the total destruction moves as you’ll see from this era. We take a break and come back with Razor handing it off to Kid to stay on Pierre’s arm. Razor comes back in to counter a leapfrog into an atomic drop, which Vince dubs accidental.

As I try to figure out what Vince would consider intentional, Kid starts working on the leg to mix it up. Razor gets kicked into the corner so Jacques comes in, earning himself a leg crank of his own. Cue Diesel to watch as Vince doesn’t approve of the refereeing. We take a break and come back with some heel miscommunication allowing the hot tag to the Kid.

A spinwheel kick bangs up Kid’s already injured knee and the champs drop him ribs first across the top rope. Jacques slams Pierre onto Kid for two but they try it again and get broken up, allowing the tag off to Razor. The belly to back superplex drops Jacques and there’s the Razor’s Edge to Pierre….but Shawn Michaels comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This got a LONG time but it wasn’t exactly exciting stuff for a long stretch. Shawn running in for the DQ is a fine way to retain the title and Razor/Kid would have been a better option to challenge for the titles than Razor and Jannetty anyway. Not a great match, but it felt big and that is a good thing.

Next week: Randy Savage vs. Yokozuna for the WWF Title. Well that’s an upgrade.

Jim Cornette comes out to shout about how Yokozuna will crush Savage, who disagrees.

Bret Hart vs. Tom Prichard

Jim Cornette is here with Prichard. Vince goes into a discussion of the Dallas Cowboys, which I would call an upgrade. Feeling out process to start with Bret’s headscissors not getting him anywhere. Bret does it again and we get another standoff. Back up and Bret grabs a headlock but gets drop toeholded down, setting up a hammerlock. A backdrop sends Prichard outside and Bret works on the arm back inside.

Vince points out Nikolai Volkoff at ringside, with Savage deeming him as ugly as ever. As you try to figure out why Volkoff was getting a story in 1994, Bret works on the arm, including a snapmare into an armbar as we take a break. Back with Prichard raking the eyes as we hear about Donny Wahlberg coming to Wrestlemania. We’re so lucky that he calls in to the show as Vince talks about listening to the new New Kids On The Block album.

Prichard grabs the chinlock as Donny denies having any jealousy of his brother Mark Wahlberg. A jawbreaker gets Bret out of trouble and a backslide gives him two. Prichard snapmares him down into a chinlock with a knee in the back. Cornette goes to get in a cheap shot with the tennis racket but Savage sends him into the steps to cut that off.

We take another break and come back with Bret grabbing a small package for two. The backbreaker into the middle rope elbow gets two as Savage has stolen the tennis racket, leaving Cornette looking really weird. Prichard knocks Bret outside and here is Owen Hart to throw him back inside. Bret doesn’t seem to mind and grabs the Sharpshooter to win.

Rating: C+. Bret got some time here and that is always often going to work. It helps when you have someone as talented as Prichard in there. I know he’s remembered as part of a pretty middle of the road team in the WWF but he really was good at what he did and could work just fine in this spot.

Post match Bret and Owen yell at each other a lot.

It’s the Wrestlemania Report with Todd Pettingill. Rather than matches though, we talk about the celebrities, because they’re what really matter. This includes two Showtime movie critics who used to be cab drivers, though I don’t think they were on the show. We get around to the matches, which is just a big list of them. This whole thing went over five minutes and didn’t add anything significant.

Little Richard is ready for Wrestlemania.

Jim Cornette and Yokozuna come to the ring to yell at Randy Savage, who is ready to go right now. Yelling ensues to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a rare show with two long matches and it set up some things for next week. The fact that next week is last week is a different story, but this was still in the formative years of the show. You can feel Wrestlemania season starting to come together though and I’m wanting to see how the build goes to one of the most important shows the company has ever had.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 30, 1995
Location: Keystone Center, Brandon, Manitoba, Canada
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Survivor Series and the build to the show has already gotten started fast with two matches announced. Diesel will defend the WWF Title against Bret Hart and the Wild Card match sounds interesting. This week though, it’s Owen Hart challenging Razor Ramon for the Intercontinental Title so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

It’s the night before Halloween so Todd Pettingill is doing a spooky voice on the intro. We’ve got a themed show people.

Opening sequence.

Commentary is in costumes, as Vince is dressed as a prisoner and Lawler is a doctor. Lawler says he heard Vince got that costume a year ago and is just getting to use it. There’s your inside joke and it would probably get people fired in later years.

Savio Vega vs. Goldust

This is Goldust’s Raw debut and Lawler is right there with every movie joke he can find. Goldust rips the wig off and starts hammering away in the corner, setting up a hard kick to the ribs. Vega fights up but misses the dropkick as Lawler wants Goldust to be more like a horror movie character. A hard posting bangs up Vega’s shoulder and Goldust grabs the logical armbar. Lawler: “He’s dominating Savio Vega!” Vince: “Which match are you looking at?” The match where Goldust is dominating Vega? Goldust cranks on the arm in the corner and we take a break.

Back with the armbar continuing as Vince admits that this is dominance. A running knee in the corner keeps Vega down as Vince calls Goldust a “masculine RuPaul.” Vega fights up but misses the spinwheel kick, allowing Goldust to go back to the arm. An arm trap rollup finishes Vega off.

Rating: C-. The arm stuff was a fine way to go and it was nice to see it play into the finish. There was obviously something with Goldust, but Lawler laying off the movie puns would help a lot. They needed to mold Goldust a lot more though, even if you could see something in him that would draw in attention.

It’s time for the Slam Jam, featuring the announcement that the Diesel vs. Bret Hart WWF Title match at Survivor Series will be no countout, no DQ and no time limit. Doc Hendrix, either as a pumpkin or a bad Legion of Doom cosplay, doesn’t know where the fans’ loyalties will lie.

Hakushi and Barry Horowitz play Karate Fighters. Horowitz Wins!

Marty Jannetty vs. Joe Dorgan

Lawler talks about the horse that won the Breeders Cup looking too much like Alundra Blayze. Marty starts with a wristlock and cuts off a charge with a raised elbow in the corner. The chinlock goes on, followed by a chinlock to keep up the theme. Marty drops him again and hits the top rope fist drop to complete the squash.

Video on Bret Hart and Hakushi vs. Jerry Lawler and Isaac Yankem, which makes sense given how things have gone for Bret this summer.

Here is British Bulldog, with Jim Cornette and someone new for a chat. Cornette isn’t happy with what happened at In Your House, but Gorilla Monsoon has made it even worse. British Bulldog beat Diesel (by DQ) and should be facing Bret Hart. The fact that Bret isn’t champion would make this an odd choice but oh well. Anyway, Bulldog wants another match with Diesel and to face Bret at the next In Your House in December.

Cornette introduces his new lawyer, Clarence Mason (Lawler: “Best litigator since Jerry McDevitt!”), who doesn’t like anything Monsoon has done. Cornette isn’t done either, as he rants about the Wild Card match at Survivor Series. As for next week, Bulldog promises to drop Marty Jannetty. Cue Jannetty to dropkick Bulldog and punch Cornette but won’t slap Mason. This went on for a long time and didn’t really say much other than Bulldog wants Hart in December.

Smoking Gunns vs. Phil Apollo/Joe Rashner

Non-title. During the entrances, we see a clip of the 1-2-3 Kid attacking the Gunns after losing their Tag Team Title shot at In Your House. Billy avoids Apollo’s (or Otis as Vince calls him for some reason) leapfrog to start and hits him in the face. Rashner comes in and we go split screen where the Kid apologizes and asks for one more title shot. It’s off to Bart for a double clothesline and the Sidewinder finishes fast.

Bret Hart doesn’t care what rules he has to deal with at Survivor Series because he’s winning the WWF Title.

Paul Bearer promises that Undertaker is coming back, even if his face is currently too gruesome to be seen.

Intercontinental Title: Owen Hart vs. Razor Ramon

Hart, with Jim Cornette, is challenging. Razor charges in and knocks him to the floor to start before grabbing the wristlock. Owen can’t monkey flip his way to freedom and the cranking continues. Back up and Ramon takes him down by the arm again but has to punch Cornette off the apron. Cue Yokozuna (Lawler: “Here comes the wide load!”) with Mr. Fuji and we take a break.

Back with Hart dropping Razor on the top rope and knocking him outside for the dropkick through the ropes. The missile dropkick gets two and there’s the running crotch attack on the ropes. Hart cuts off a comeback attempt and grabs a chinlock, setting up a top rope elbow for two. We take an abrupt break and come back with both of them down off a suplex while we were away. Razor is back up with some right hands and a clothesline as we take another abrupt break. Back again with Yokozuna coming in for the DQ maybe five seconds after we were back to the action.

Rating: B-. The breaks here were weird as they had three of them in a match that had about ten minutes aired. Razor vs. Owen is something that would work just fine on its own and I don’t know why they needed to cut it up so much. That being said, it was only so good with the screwy ending but you don’t want either of them jobbing at the moment.

Post match the beatdown is on but the 1-2-3 Kid comes in. That has as much effect on Yokozuna as you would expect, as the big legdrop crushes the Kid. Ahmed Jonson comes in and slams Yokozuna (better than Luger) to end the show. Johnson looked amazing but that was about it aside from the power displays.

Overall Rating: C. The ending with Johnson was the big moment that the show was needing as there was only so much going on here otherwise. Johnson felt like a hot new star and now we could be in for some interesting ways to go. Survivor Series needs to get here, but the two matches they already have announced should be enough to carry it pretty far.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 2, 1995
Location: Grand Center, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

I’m back to Raw as the WWF is on the way towards In Your House: Great White North. In this case, that means WWF Champion Diesel will be defending against the British Bulldog, which is as In Your House of a main event as you can get. Other than that, we are in that weird period between Summerslam and Survivor Series so this isn’t the hottest stretch. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Yokozuna accidentally splashing Owen Hart last week, allowing the Smoking Gunns to take the Tag Team Titles from them.

Here’s a quick clip of Lawrence Taylor beating Bam Bam Bigelow on the Wrestlemania Special from over the weekend, as we look at a match from about six months ago.

Razor Ramon vs. 1-2-3 Kid

This is billed as the last match between the two and that isn’t the most out there of possibilities. Two weeks ago, Dean Douglas helped 1-2-3 Kid beat Razor (which Kid didn’t see) so tonight it’s a fair fight. Razor sends him outside to start but Kid is right back in with the rapid fire kicks in the corner. The fall away slam gives Razor two, only to have Kid come back with another kick for two of his own.

Cue Douglas to watch in the aisle as Razor punches Kid down but he leaves as Kid makes the comeback. Razor hits one heck of a clothesline for the pin and yes it’s as out of nowhere as it sounds. Hold on though as Kid slaps Razor in the face and I guess we’re just going to keep going. Razor chops him in the corner and grabs the abdominal stretch. A charge in the corner hits Kid’s raised boot though and we take a break.

Back with apparently a third fall, as Razor powerbombed him for the pin during the break, only to have Kid want to keep going. The belly to back superplex sets up the Razor’s Edge, but Razor lets him go and grabs a small package to pin Kid, who is already out cold thanks to the superplex.

Rating: C-. This was a weird one as Razor more or less squashed him three times in a row with Kid only managing a few kicks. Commentary kept hyping up the idea of it being about respect, which worked well enough as Kid wouldn’t stay down despite clearly being outclassed. Odds are there is more to this in the future, even with this one sided beating.

Respect is shown post match but Kid grabs a rollup for two, with the referee just going with this. Kid tells him to hit the Razor’s Edge but Razor shakes his hand instead.

We look back at British Bulldog and Yokozuna wrecking Undertaker last week until Shawn Michaels and Diesel made the save.

IS OJ SIMPSON GUILTY??? Call in and vote, with your 50 cents a call going to help prevent child abuse. Eh it’s for charity so fair enough.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Barry Horowitz

Horowitz is fresh off beating Skip a few times so it’s pretty much the hottest time of his career. Helmsley takes him down into something like a cross armbreaker, allowing for a kick to the face. A takedown has Helmsley bailing to the ropes as Vince brags about last week’s Raw being the most watched in history. Helmsley’s curtsy sets up a suplex as Lawler talks about the Simpson case.

Back up and Horowitz grabs a sunset flip for two, which just seems to annoy Helmsley. As expected, this leads to a discussion of the Pope coming to the United States, and Vince would love for him to come to the charity show at Madison Square Garden. Horowitz gets an elbow to the face into an abdominal stretch rollup for two (Patterson and Brisco’s back grapple special in No Mercy) but the Pedigree finishes him off out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. This went a bit long but the good thing is that Horowitz felt like he could pull off the upset. That is what you get out of the wins over Skip, as Horowitz goes from a total loser to someone who just won a few weeks ago. At the same time though, Helmsley was still new and undefeated at this point so he wasn’t about to be in any serious jeopardy to anyone, let alone Horowitz.

PG-13 vs. Al Brown/Sonny Rogers

PG-13’s (they’re white rappers from Memphis) USWA Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line but they want the Smoking Gunns’ WWF Tag Team Titles. Rogers works on Ice’s arm to start but it’s a running dropkick/Russian legsweep combination to take him down. Wolfie D knocks Rogers down and dances a lot as Lawler talks about the Simpson case gain. Rogers gets away and brings in Brown to clean house as Vince still can’t remember which one is PG and which one is 13. The illegal Wolfie uses a distraction to hit a middle rope bulldog for two on Brown before an assisted splash finishes for JC Ice.

Rating: C. PG-13 looked decent in there for a team who was far better known for their gimmick than anything they did in the ring. It isn’t like they were ever going to be anything important in the company but the annoying rapping deal will always work to some degree. If they can have an ok squash at the same time, that’s even better.

CALL THE SIMPSON HOTLINE!

Bret Hart vs. Jean-Pierre LaFitte

Rematch from Bret’s victory at the most recent In Your House. LaFitte pounds him into the corner to start and a hard clothesline drops Bret again. A missed charge in the corner sends LaFitte crashing out to the floor, where Vince sends him into the steps. This lets Vince call the match a “demolition derby” for about the fifth time in less than three minutes.

Back in and Bret gets dropped throat first onto the ropes, setting up the chinlock. A heck of a clothesline keeps Bret in trouble and a top rope headbutt gets two. LaFitte’s Stinger Splash sets off the LET’S GO BRET chants but another clothesline cuts off another comeback (that’s working for LaFitte).

We take a break and come back with LaFitte missing the Cannonball but running Bret over for two more anyway. They head outside again with Bret being whipped hard into the steps, sending Lawler into euphoria on commentary (Lawler’s hatred of Bret was always funny). Back in and Bret is fine enough to start the comeback, with the Russian legsweep getting two. LaFitte grabs a Regal Roll but the Cannonball is cut off again. Bret superplexes him down and puts on the Sharpshooter for the win.

Rating: B-. The match got some time and while it wasn’t quite as good as their In Your House match, there is still something to be said about any Bret match going almost fifteen minutes. Not exactly a hidden gem, but Bret being able to get something out of a pirate in 1995 is pretty impressive. Good enough here, but Bret needs to move on to something more important.

Post match Lawler yells at Bret, who goes after him until Isaac Yankem jumps Bret from behind.

Post break Vince announces a cage match between Hart and Yankem at some point in the coming weeks.

Camp Cornette is ready for Undertaker, Shawn Michaels and Diesel next week.

Undertaker, Shawn Michaels and Diesel are ready for Camp Cornette next week.

The fans say OJ Simpson is not guilty by a margin of 51-49.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t the best show but the main event and setup for the cage match worked well enough. Bret going from fighting a pirate to fighting a king to fighting a dentist is about as 1995 as you can get but at least we didn’t have to deal with King Mabel. The rest of the show wasn’t much to see, though Razor vs. Kid was certainly something different.

 

 

 

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Summerslam 1995
Date: August 27, 1995
Location: Pittsburgh Civic Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 18,062
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

So it’s time for the annual redos and for some reason, my readers decided to have me watch one of the worst Summerslams of all time. I’m so thrilled. Anyway this is built around Diesel vs. King Mabel in one of those moments where Vince McMahon was considered completely insane. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the big matches tonight, including Diesel vs. Mabel, Jerry Lawler sending his evil dentist (that will never sound normal) against Bret Hart, Kama Mustafa vs. Undertaker (over the again stolen urn) and the sequel to the ladder match (which was added because the company knew they were dead in the water otherwise).

I still love the big flying blimp in the arena. The fans behind it must be so thrilled. Now am I being sarcastic on that one?

Dean Douglas, the annoying teacher, is in the back to critique all of the matches. I’m not a Shane fan, but to go from the Franchise to this is a shame.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Hakushi

Vince: “The Kid is ready for WWF action!” You mean this isn’t the Boggle tournament? Hakushi’s White Angel look is way too awesome for a show like this. Kid grabs a headlock to start but gets taken down by the hair, with a fan opposite the hard camera being VERY upset by the cheating. A trip takes Hakushi down but he kicks Kid away, giving us a double nipup.

Back up and they both miss spinning kicks for another early standoff. Hakushi finally sends him into the corner for the handspring elbow and the fans aren’t sure what to think of it (fair enough as he’s a heel, but an awesome heel). The Bronco Buster hits Kid (so that’s where he got it) and it’s time to kick at his leg. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Hakushi sends him outside and hits a cartwheel into a backdrop over the top for your YOU DO KNOW IT’S 1995 spot.

Back in and a top rope headbutt to the standing Kid gets two but a top rope splash misses. Kid dropkicks him to the floor and hits his own dive, followed by a slingshot legdrop for two. Kid’s top rope splash connects for the patented 1-2-He Got Him NO! Back up and Kid tries a spinwheel kick but gets caught in something like a belly to back suplex to give Hakushi the pin at 9:28.

Rating: B-. This was WAY ahead of its time with stuff like the Space Flying Tiger Drop of all things being far more than you would expect from a WWF match in 1995. The Kid was very good as well and fought from underneath with his own high flying. Good stuff here, though I’m worried about what else they have for the rest of the night.

Dok Hendrix is WAY too excited to know about Mabel’s master plan. You’ll just have to wait, exactly like Big Daddy Fool. And that’s before he even gets in the ring people.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Bob Holly

Helmsley is brand new here and still an undefeated blue blood. There’s no contact for the first minute so Holly grabs him for a slam and an armdrag sends Helmsley into the corner. Holly charges at him though and gets caught in a Stun Gun to let Helmsley take over. Vince talks about wanting to see Lawler in a go kart or bumper cars as Holly gets whipped hard into the corner.

The chinlock goes on and we cut to British Bulldog arriving, even though he has nothing to say. Back in and arena and Holly’s abdominal stretch is countered with a hiptoss over the top. Holly is right back up with a DDT and the dropkick with the backdrop completing the jobber level comeback. A missed charge lets Helmsley finish with the Pedigree at 7:10.

Rating: D. Oh come on. I know it’s a different era but this made Summerslam? I can get behind the idea of a match to make a newcomer look good but this wasn’t entertaining on any level. Helmsley was clearly someone they wanted to push but this would have been boring on Raw and we get it on a pay per view. At least it was short, but that’s all I’ve got.

Some wrestlers and firemen had a charity tug of war. Nothing wrong with that.

Blu Brothers vs. Smoking Gunns

Jacob (of Jacob and Eli Blu, which sounds conspicuously like Jake and Elwood Blues) gets caught in an early armbar from Billy. It’s off to Bart in a hurry but Eli snaps his throat across the top to take over. A quick crossbody gets Bart out of trouble though and Billy comes back in.

The yet to be named H Bomb (when they would become the Harris Twins that is) plants Billy for a delayed two and it’s off to the also yet to be named Tree of Woe (1995 needs to catch up with the times already). Lawler: “I bought five copies of Windows 95 and I don’t even have a computer.” After that random line, Eli gets two off a powerslam as the second Raw level match continues. Billy gets in a dropkick and brings in Bart to clean house. Heel miscommunication lets the Sidewinder connect for the fast pin on Eli at 6:11.

Rating: D-. At least in the Helmsley vs. Holly match (something that has never been said) they were pushing someone new and fresh. Here it’s a win for the Gunns, who had been around for years and were former Tag Team Champions. And against the Blu Brothers? That’s the best they can put together for what should be the second biggest show of the year? Thank goodness we were only a few weeks away from Nitro because this is some horrible planning.

We recap Barry Horowitz vs. Skip in a rematch of the huge upset of Barry pinning Skip. Barry then won by surviving a ten minute challenge, meaning it’s time for a third match. The idea here is that Barry hasn’t won a match in years but managed to pull this one off. How this is supposed to make me want to watch isn’t clear, as Barry is only going to be known to long time fans who are going to be watching in the first place.

Barry Horowitz vs. Skip

Sunny is out with Skip and does her trademark great rant about how they were cheated twice but it won’t happen again. Barry charges to the ring (with the awesome rock version of Hava Nagila) and hammers away to start with a clothesline putting Skip on the floor. Back in and Barry gets two off an O’Connor roll before suplexing Skip over the top again. Sunny tries to throw in the towel but is told that it’s not boxing and doesn’t count. Uh, it counted for Bob Backlund in 1983.

The distraction works well enough for Skip to jump Barry from behind, meaning it’s time for some jumping jacks. For some reason, this turns into a discussion of who would win in a fight between Siskel and Ebert. Barry is back up with some shoulders for two and a sunset flip for the same. Skip runs him over again though and it’s off to a seated abdominal stretch. That’s broken up as well and Horowitz goes old school with a Thesz press of all things for two more.

Skip pulls it back to the mat for legdrops and a chinlock but Barry jobbers up. They trade dropkicks and it’s a double knockdown as this keeps going. Another dropkick from Barry crotches him on top but Skip knocks him backwards. The Swan Dive gives Skip two so Barry hits another dropkick and goes up. This time it’s Sunny crotching him down for a change, which draws out Hakushi of all people. The distraction into a rollup lets Barry get his third straight win at 11:23.

Rating: D. AND??? Am I really supposed to get behind Horowitz after this? The guy has a career win/loss record somewhere lower than mine and now he’s getting a win on Summerslam? Somehow this is the best that they can do and that sums up a lot of the problems they were having around this point.

Dean Douglas uses a telestrator to talk about the previous match in big words. Barry gets an S for Slacker.

Shane throws it to Vince but we get Todd Pettengill instead, who gives us a look at the Wrestlemania X ladder match. Shawn Michaels says you can’t prepare for a ladder match but Razor isn’t taking his title again tonight.

Women’s Title: Bertha Faye vs. Alundra Blayze

Faye, with Harvey Wippleman, is challenging and her gimmick is that she’s large and not very attractive. This is one of those gimmicks that was bad then, worse later and horrible today. Blayze kicks her down to start and sweeps the leg for a bonus. More kicks have Bertha in trouble but she runs Blayze over, because she’s big you see.

The middle rope splash misses and Blayze gets two off a victory roll. Some running head slams get no cover as Harvey has the referee. Instead Blayze goes after him but can’t get the German suplex on Faye. A hurricanrana gives Blayze two and a missile dropkick has Faye reeling. Another dropkick misses though and it’s a sitout powerbomb to give Faye the pin and the title at 4:37.

Rating: D-. You can hear Vince laughing at this one and doing so all by himself. This gimmick isn’t funny and it’s a waste of someone as talented as she was. Is there any reason why they felt the need to humiliate someone that they brought in? There was nothing that the women could do when Faye was only allowed to use the “I’m big” offense in a short match. Terrible stuff here and it’s not on the wrestlers.

Post match Faye says she’s the beauty now and has the belt. Blayze would get it back in about two months.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kama Mustafa, who is the latest person to steal the urn (and melted it down into a big gold chain because reasons) as part of Undertaker vs. the Million Dollar Corporation, which felt like it went on forever. Kama even beat up some of the Creatures of the Night, meaning he’s gone too far. Therefore, it’s a casket match because what else could it be.

Paul Bearer and Undertaker promise to finish Kama.

Undertaker vs. Kama Mustafa

Casket match with Ted DiBiase in Kama’s corner to counter Bearer. Undertaker isn’t wasting time and picks Kama up for some choking and then throws him onto the casket. Something close to a Stinger Splash (THEY’RE DOING THE MATCH!!!) and Old School connects. The casket is opened revealing the Casket Cam as Kama is knocked in.

That goes nowhere this early and Kama is right back up with a top rope clothesline. Undertaker’s second Stinger Splash is caught with a powerslam and of course he sits up again. DiBiase offers a distraction so Kama can hammer and kick away. A clothesline puts Undertaker on top of the closed casket and a suplex does it again. Kama can’t piledrive him on the casket though and Undertaker backdrops him inside.

That’s fine with Kama, who hits a powerslam for a cover, checking off your required “I forgot this is a casket match” box. We hit the chinlock for a good while as the match just stops as they lay there. A belly to back suplex finally gives them something to do and the comeback is on.

The jumping clothesline connects but it’s a Cactus Clothesline to put them both in the casket. They come out and it’s a prototype of the famous shot of Shawn Michaels being dragged back in as Kama is put inside again. Back in and Kama grabs a swinging neckbreaker to put them both down again. The chokeslam connects though and it’s a Tombstone to finish Kama for good at 16:26.

Rating: D. It wasn’t even that it was bad but it was WAY too long with all of the laying around and Kama being the least believable opponent Undertaker has had in a long time. Kama felt like the villain in the fourth edition of an action movie series that has gone on too long and the star needed a paycheck. Really dull stuff here and the last thing the show needed.

Lawler is very excited about the idea of Isaac Yankem removing Bret Hart’s teeth.

Video on Yankem, who really is an evil dentist and we really are supposed to believe this as something threatening. Lawler vs. Hart has been going on for over two years now and has offered some awesome stuff, but as soon as Todd says “the King recruited a dentist”, it loses me a bit. Yankem is of course better known as Kane and his story of hearing that he was being brought in to be an evil dentist is rather funny.

Bret is ready to shut Lawler’s mouth. Bret to Yankem: “I don’t care if you’re a dentist.” Words never spoken in wrestling before or since.

Isaac Yankem vs. Bret Hart

Lawler handles Yankem’s entrance. As a bonus pun, Yankem is billed from Decay-tur, Illinois. Lawler is on commentary for a bit of a surprise as Bret gets shoved down to start. Yankem misses a big elbow but is fine enough to send Bret hard into the corner. Bret is back with an atomic drop and a clothesline for a trip to the floor. Back in and Bret hits a middle rope clothesline, followed by the headbutt to the abdomen.

The backslide gets two as Lawler is saying only Vince needs to be impartial tonight. Another hard whip into the corner takes Bret down again and Isaac chokes on the ropes until the referee drags him away by the hair. More choking ensues as Yankem doesn’t have the highest variety in his offense so far.

Bret is back up and sends him outside for a suicide dive as the comeback is on. Back in and it’s time for the Five Moves Of Doom but a Lawler distraction breaks up the Sharpshooter. Lawler stays up to cheer on Yankem’s beating (as he should) but Bret gets in a slam off the top for a rare power display.

In a change of pace, Bret ties Yankem’s legs around the post and stomps away until the referee unties Yankem’s feet. Lawler would do it but he’s too busy getting beaten up by Bret. The distraction lets Yankem hit a top rope ax handle to the back and Lawler helps him tie Bret’s neck in the ropes for the DQ at 16:10.

Rating: C+. Bret was doing everything he could here but Yankem wasn’t there yet and there’s only so much you can do as an evil dentist. The match felt straight out of Memphis with someone wanting to get at Lawler but he brought in his latest monster for protection. It’s a perfectly usable story and the match wasn’t bad, so I’ll take what I can get here.

Post match Lawler and Yankem pull at the still trapped Bret until referees break it up.

Razor Ramon isn’t scared of Shawn Michaels and he’ll take every chance he can get. If Shawn is ready to dance, Razor leads.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

Shawn is defending in a ladder match, which was added due to “fan demand”, which is a rather accurate definition of what happened (originally scheduled to be Shawn vs. Sid before the company woke up and saw the rest of the card). The title is raised but hang on because Shawn isn’t happy with the way it’s attached to the hook (likely a problem with how the finish was supposed to go). Dok Hendrix has replaced Lawler on commentary.

They both look up at the title and then go to the slugout, as they should have done. The threat of an early superkick has Razor grabbing the ropes in a smart move. A Razor’s Edge attempt has Shawn looking worried so Razor throws him outside without much trouble. It’s time to go for the ladder but Shawn cuts Razor off from getting it. I’ve never gotten that but I guess it’s a pride thing.

They head back to the ring instead with Razor suplexing Shawn outside but Shawn’s leg hits the barricade in a nasty looking crash. Dok: “I might suggest that’s it.” Vince: “Uh yes that’s it.” Back in and Shawn escapes the Edge again but misses another superkick, meaning it’s a double clothesline to put them both down. Razor is up first and hits a super fall away slam as he continues the early dominance (they’re building things up here and that’s going to pay off in the end).

Now the ladder is brought in as we see Sid watching in the back. Shawn makes a fast save though and it’s his turn to grab the ladder, but he would rather hit Razor than climb. Razor breaks up a climb by pulling the tights down and then shoves the ladder over in a smart move. Replays show Shawn’s leg getting caught in the ladder on the way down as the focal point continues to grow.

The leg gets crushed in the ladder again and the fans aren’t pleased. Razor slams him legs first onto the ladder and then puts the ladder on the middle rope in the corner. That gives Razor another place to drop Shawn’s knee onto the ladder and it’s time to go into the Ric Flair cannonballs onto the leg. Shawn kicks him to the floor for a breather but that just lets Razor wrap the knee around the post. Back in and the knee gets wrenched again The ladder is set up in the middle of the ring but Shawn suplexes Razor back down for a double knockdown.

Shawn puts the ladder in the corner and whips Razor into it and bring the cheers back. A moonsault off the ladder lets Shawn hammer away but he misses the huge splash off the ladder (call back tot he previous match) and they’re both down again. They both make the slow climb and crash back down for a double crotching on the top. A missed charge with the ladder has Shawn falling out to the floor and Razor goes down with him. Shawn goes back in and sets up the ladder but Razor brings in a second ladder (a new concept at the time).

Razor drops his though and hits the Razor’s Edge off the original ladder for the big knockout shot. He can’t follow up though and they’re both down again. Both ladders are set up for a double climb but Shawn superkicks him down. Hang on though as Shawn isn’t under the belt so he jumps for it, meaning another crash down onto the bad leg. Another Razor’s Edge attempt is countered with a backdrop to the floor, allowing Shawn to go up and grab the title….but he falls again without the belt coming down. A ticked off Shawn goes up and pulls the title down to retain at 25:09.

Rating: A. Yeah this was outstanding and you could argue it’s better than the original. The big difference here was having the match involve a ladder instead of being about a ladder. They had a heck of a match with Razor working the leg and Shawn having to find a way around the power game. The teasing of finishers until the end was a great addition as well and the whole thing was a blast with big spots and awesome action throughout. Check this out and then go watch the first one again because you really could say either of them is better.

Post match Razor grabs the belt but hands it to Shawn for the nice moment.

Douglas doesn’t like Razor calling himself the Bad Guy when Razor comes in to knock him down with one punch.

Diesel isn’t worried about Mabel. You know, because he’s Mabel.

WWF World Title: King Mabel vs. Diesel

Mabel, with Sir Mo, is defending and the story here is finding out his Royal Plan. We get the trash talking before the bell and my goodness Mabel’s crown looks pitiful. It looks like it’s made of paper or cheap plastic and comes off like a toy instead of something serious. Kind of like his whole push in a way.

Mabel runs him over to start and chops away in the corner but Diesel forearms him back. The big slam doesn’t work so Diesel hits some clotheslines to put Mabel on the floor. Diesel actually manages a dive over the top (not terrible either) to take Mabel down but the fans just do not care. Mabel charges into a big boot but is back in with a….I guess Boss Man Slam, but he shoved Diesel down instead of picking him up. To mix it up a bit, Mabel sits on Diesel’s back but misses a backsplash.

The referee gets bumped so Mo comes in (which seems to be the Royal Plan), drawing out Lex Luger for the save. Well the attempted save at least as Luger is knocked outside, leaving Mabel to drop the leg on Diesel on the floor. Luger takes care of Mo (Did Luger just come out early or something? Also, that would be his last appearance in the company as he would debut on Nitro eight days later), leaving Mabel to hit the belly to belly for two. Mabel misses a middle rope splash though, allowing Diesel to hit a middle rope clothesline to retain at 9:16 (admittedly to a big pop).

Rating: D-. Oh come on what else were you expecting here? It’s freaking MABEL. Diesel is someone who can have a great match with the right opponent but Mabel is so far away from being the right opponent that he’s the left one. There’s no way to make this work as Mabel was nothing more than the big guy with a lame lackey. There was no way this was going to work, the match was terrible and they got them out of there almost as fast as possible. What else could this have been?

Overall Rating: D. There are some bright spots in here, but aside from the classic ladder match, this could have been any given house show. The opener was good, Bret vs. Yankem could have been a lot worse and the ladder match is awesome. Other than that, there is no reason to think of this as a special show in any way and that was very clear throughout. I know it’s a dark time for the company, but this was them putting out whatever they had because they had to do a show instead of trying to put on a great show. Terrible for the most part, with a few bright spots sprinkled in.

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Summerslam 1993
Date: August 30, 1993
Location: Palace of Auburn Hills, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 23,954
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

A lot has changed in the last year. Bret won the WWF Title about three months after the last Summerslam but lost it at Wrestlemania to the monster Yokozuna. Yoko went on a path of destruction through the WWF over the summer, but it was WCW signee Lex Luger who stood up for the USA on the 4^th of July in a body slam challenge and is challenging for the title tonight. Hogan is gone, so America’s hopes rest on Luger. Let’s get to it.

We see Luger’s Lex Express bus arriving earlier today. Luger had gone around the country in a bus to get fan support for the match against Yokozuna. Why he didn’t stay in the WWF and win matches to get a title shot is beyond me.

Ted DiBiase vs. Razor Ramon

The match starts fast as DiBiase jumps Razor coming in. Razor comes back with a quick backdrop and a slam, sending DiBiase running to the floor. Back in and DiBiase takes it into the corner for some chops, only to be reversed on a whip and clotheslined out to the floor again. Razor pulls him back in but Ted chokes away on the top rope. I love basic heel moves like that. You never see those anymore because it’s all about attitude or whatever nonsense WWE tells you now.

Heenan makes jokes about the 1-2-3 Kid, who recently defeated Ramon and triggered his face turn. A clothesline gets two for DiBiase and it’s off to the chinlock. It’s clear that DiBiase is WAY past his prime here but his prime was so good that this is still totally watchable. Razor’s arms stay up on the third drop but DiBiase takes him back down with a swinging neckbreaker. Ted sends him to the floor and rips off a turnbuckle pad, only to be sent into it himself. The Razor’s Edge is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but DiBiase was nothing more than a jobber to the stars by now anyway. This would actually be the last match in the WWF for DiBiase as he would do a quick run in Japan before retiring by the beginning of the year. The match wasn’t bad but it could have been the main event of any episode of Raw.

Todd Petingill interviews some of the Steiners’ relatives as we’re in their hometown. The sister calls Rick by his real name of Rob here.

Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies

Jim Cornette manages the challengers, who are Jimmy Del Ray and Tom Pritchard. This is part of the cross promotion with SMW. Heenan sings Cornette’s praises, which was how Cornette got over as a heel. He had debuted not long before this and Heenan immediately hugged him. Since Heenan was a heel and Cornette was a friend of his, Cornette was instantly hated. No shades of gray, no thought to it, just basic heel work. I miss stuff like that so much.

The Bodies jump the champions and send Scott out to the floor early on. A double flapjack puts Rick down and Scott is knocked back to the floor, but the Bodies spend too much time double teaming. All four are in now with the Steiners cleaning house to the delight of the crowd. I’m sure it has nothing to do with them wearing University of Michigan colors. A tilt-a-whirl slam (called a suplex by Vince) puts Del Ray down and the Steiners stand tall.

We officially start with Pritchard vs. Scott and Tom is slammed down in a BIG gorilla press. A backdrop puts Del Ray down and it’s off to Rick vs. Pritchard. Rick cleans house with Steiner Lines to send the challengers to the floor. Back in the and the Bodies finally start cheating, allowing Pritchard to hit an enziguri to send Scott to the floor, followed by a Del Ray moonsault press to wipe Scott out.

Back in and Del Ry hits a Rocky Maivia spinning DDT but doesn’t cover like the schnook that he is. Heenan has the match 1112-9 in favor of the Bodies. A powerslam gets two for Del Ray and Cornette jabs Scott in the throat with his tennis racket. Scott finally comes back with a belly to belly out of nowhere and makes the hot tag to Rick.

Everyone gets Steiner Lines (Heenan: “Mrs. Steiner just gave her daughter a Steiner Line!”) but the top rope bulldog only gets two on Del Ray thanks to a save. Cornette throws in the racket but a shot to Rick’s back is only good for two. Del Ray misses a moonsault and the Frankensteiner retains the belts.

Rating: C+. This was as by the book of a tag team match as you can get but it was still good stuff. I don’t think anyone cared about the Heavenly Bodies but that’s where a good manager like Cornette can come in handy: the fans are going to boo anyone he’s out there with, including a tag team who never did anything of note in the WWF.

A new interviewer named Joe Fowler (he didn’t last long) is with Shawn and Diesel, with the former saying he’s the best IC Champion ever. Diesel says he’s there to keep the chicks off the champ. Fowler wasn’t bad actually.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is defending. This match was literally months in the making with the WWF basically saying “this is going to be the match of the year, guaranteed.” To continue the theme of things that just aren’t the same today, Perfect is trying to become the first three time IC Champion. We also have Radio WWF with JR and Gorilla Monsoon doing commentary. Wrestling used to be broadcast on the radio back in the day, with legendary sportscaster Bob Costas doing commentary at one point.

Shawn easily takes it down to start but Perfect snapmares him down as well. Perfect takes over with an armdrag and drives some knees into the arm. Shawn comes back with a headlock out of the corner but Perfect avoids an elbow and we have a stalemate. Some LOUD chops in the corner snap Shawn’s head back and a clothesline turns him inside out for two. Back to the armbar on the champion but Shawn escapes and goes up top, only to dive into an armdrag.

Perfect puts on another armbar before catapulting Shawn out to the floor in a great crash. Perfect goes to the floor but has to stare at Diesel, giving Shawn an opening for the yet to be named Sweet Chin Music. Shawn hits an ax handle of the apron to Perfect’s back before heading back inside to drop knees onto the back. A hard whip into the corner puts Perfect down again and Shawn drops down onto Perfect’s back.

Off to a backbreaker with Shawn bending Perfect’s back over Shawn’s knee. A stiff right hand gets Perfect out and a running dropkick puts Shawn down again. Perfect gets two off an atomic drop before countering a backslide into the PerfectPlex, only to have Diesel pull the leg for the save. Diesel gets punched in the face before both guys brawl on the floor. Shawn slides back in to distract the referee, allowing Diesel to post Perfect for the countout.

Rating: C. This was ok and nothing higher than that. The ending was lame and the match was a bunch of arm/back work with no heat segment or drama at all. It was a one off match that collapsed under the weight that the company put on it by saying it would be a classic and all that jazz. Not much to see here.

Perfect gets beaten down post match with Shawn claiming to be the best ever. Perfect gives chase and catches up with Shawn during an interview with Gene. The fight winds up being Perfect vs. Diesel in a match I don’t think ever happened, unless it was on some random Raw or Superstars.

1-2-3 Kid is nervous for his PPV debut.

I.R.S. vs. 1-2-3 Kid

The Kid is relatively new at this point, having shocked the world by beating Razor Ramon in May. He also beat IRS’ partner DiBiase recently so IRS is here for revenge and to stop the Kid’s lucky streak. The Kid is launched into the air and bounces off the mat for early control but he dropkicks IRS out of the air on a second attempt. Nice psychology there, but IRS knocks him to the floor a few seconds later.

Kid comes back in with a sunset flip for two but gets caught in an abdominal stretch to drag the match out even longer. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Kid takes him to the corner for some kicks and a moonsault press for two. A side roll gets two as Heenan is losing his mind. Kid dropkicks him down for two more, but IRS hits a flying clothesline for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. What in the world was that? The Kid had been undefeated since May and you have him lose to a jobber to the stars in IRS? I don’t get the thinking here at all and it would continue to make little sense as the Kid would only lose one more singles match this year, and not again until next June. Yet he loses to IRS here? I don’t get it.

Owen and Bruce Hart say their dad is at home recovering from knee surgery but they’re here to support Bret.

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

This is the blowoff to a MAJOR feud which started at the King of the Ring. Bret won the tournament but Jerry attacked him during the coronation, saying he was the only real king in professional wrestling. Jerry comes to the ring on crutches with a big ice pack on his knee. He claims an injury from a car wreck (going into hilarious detail about a blue haired lady causing a ten car pileup) so Bret’s new opponent is the court jester.

Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown

This is evil Doink, meaning he’s AWESOME. Doink comes out carrying two buckets, one of which contains confetti to throw at the fans. The other is full of water which is thrown on Bruce Hart in the old Harlem Globetrotters trick. Bret jumps Doink on the floor and we get things going inside. Doink is punched back to the floor before he can even get his jacket off before Hart sends him into the post. Heenan talks about how Lawler was in an 18 car pileup, crawled out of the car and into a school bus, saved 40 kids from the bus and bought them all hamburgers before coming to the arena tonight. Vince’s stunned reaction is great.

Doink gets in a shot and goes up, only to be crotched on the buckle. Heenan: “He’s been de-Doinked!” Bret offers Lawler a chance to come in before dropping Doink with an atomic drop. Another Lawler distraction lets Doink hit a knee to the back before sending Bret into the steps. Doink starts working on the leg and wraps it around the post with Lawler cheering him on.

The Clown puts on an STF and Heenan swears Bret gave up. Doink transitions into a lame chinlock before putting on a stump puller (you sit the other guy down and push his head down while pulling up on a leg) to stay on the leg and neck. Bret comes back with a right and the Five Moves of Doom. He hooks the Sharpshooter but Lawler runs into the ring and breaks the crutch over Bret’s back for the DQ.

Rating: C+. The match was your usual good Bret match when he had a good opponent to work against. Lawler pretending to be injured is the perfect action for him as he’s such a slimy coward most of the time. The Bret vs. Lawler feud had incredible heat to it as the fans wanted to see Lawler get beaten up…….and then there’s this.

President Jack Tunney stops Lawler in the aisle and says get in the ring right now.

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

Bret blasts him in the head with one of Doink’s buckets before the bell. They head inside and Bret immediately pounds Lawler down and gets in a crutch shot for good measure. Lawler gets in a crutch shot to the throat and chokes away as the referee (ECW’s Bill Alfonzo) is trying to restrain the Hart Brothers.

Bret gets crotched against the post, allowing Lawler to tell the referee to go yell at the Brothers again. The distraction lets Lawler get in more crutch shots in a classic simple heel move. He stops to tell the booing fans to shut up but Bret is ready to fight. Hart destroys Lawer and even throws in a piledriver before putting on the Sharpshooter for the academic submission. He won’t let go though and the decision is reversed.

Rating: B. The match itself isn’t much from an action standpoint, but the story was perfect (Bret wants revenge) and it’s a short form clinic on how to work a crowd from Lawler. Those subtle things like distracting the referee and sneaking in weapon shots and telling the crowd to shut up are so basic and easy but you NEVER see them today. Today’s writers need to watch some Lawler matches and they’ll learn how to have a crowd eating out of a heel’s hand in no time.

It takes about ten referees plus two Brothers to pull Bret off of Lawler. Bret is told that Lawler is the undisputed King so he goes after Jerry again as Lawler is put on a stretcher. Bruce Hart gets in some shots as well but Lawler is finally wheeled off, raising his arm in victory like the true villain he is.

Unfortunately we never got the planned blowoff to this feud as some 15 year old accused Lawler of rape (she admitted she made the whole thing up and Lawler was acquitted) so the Hart Brothers vs. Jerry and three hired goons at Survivor Series never happened. That’s a shame as the reaction for Lawler being destroyed by the whole family including Stu would have been a sight to behold.

Ludvig Borga is on the streets of Detroit to show us the country that Lex Luger wants to stand up for.

Bret and his brothers say Lawler deserves a broken leg.

Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga

Borga is basically the original Antonio Cesaro but from Finland. Marty fires away to start but gets punched in the corner by the former boxer. A hard clothesline puts Jannetty down before Borga throws him into the air for an uppercut (much like Cesaro). More punches in the corner have Jannetty in trouble and a clothesline stops his comeback dead. Borga blows his nose on Jannetty before putting on a bearhug. Marty escapes and makes a quick comeback with a pair of superkicks but gets caught in a powerslam and a torture rack for the submission.

Rating: D-. This was one of the lamer squashes I can remember in a long time. Borga looked slow and limited in the ring but the rack looked good. Other than that though, Borga came off as much more flash than substance. He would get better, but at the end of the day he never quite did anything in the company.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

This is a Rest in Peace match, which means No DQ and No Countout, or a street fight as we would call it. Gonzalez has been tormenting Undertaker all year and lost to him via DQ at Wrestlemania. Gonzalez is a legit 7’7 and his manager Harvey Whippelman has stolen the Urn. Paul Bearer is absent for reasons that aren’t quite explained. The Giant pounds on Taker to start but Taker comes back with some clotheslines. A single elbow takes the Dead Man down and they head outside with the Giant in control.

Gonzalez hits some of the weakest chair shots you’ll ever see before whipping Taker knees first into the steps. Back in and Undertaker hits some uppercuts but keeps reaching for the Urn. Taker is still down when the gong rings and Paul Bearer makes his return with a black wreath. Whippelman goes after him and gets decked, allowing Paul to get the Urn back. The Giant stares down at him, Undertaker sits up, hits five clotheslines and a sixth frm the top for the pin. Seriously, that’s it.

Rating: G. As in I long for Great Khali. You often hear bad wrestlers said to be as bad as Giant Gonzalez and there’s a good reason for that: the guy is HORRIBLE. I understand the idea of the guy being huge and not needing to do much, but Gonzalez couldn’t do even the most basic stuff without screwing it up. Having seen a good deal of both, I can safely say that Gonzalez makes Great Khali look like Bret Hart.

Post match Harvey turns on Gonzalez and gets laid out.

Cornette says his men have been ripped off all night but that won’t happen when Lex Luger faces his Yokozuna. All those people Luger has seen over the country aren’t going to be able to help him now because it’s just Luger vs. Yokozuna, and the last thing Luger will hear is BANZAI!

Smoking Guns/Tatanka vs. Headshrinkers/Bam Bam Bigelow

Aren’t cowboys and Indians supposed to fight? The heels have Afa and Luna Vachon with them. The Samoans run over the Guns to start and we have Bigelow vs. Tatanka to get us going. Tatanka fires off a shoulder block and a dropkick followed by an impressive backdrop. Both guys try cross bodies and Tatanka actually gets the better of it. For a gimmick wrestler Tatanka had some good success around this time.

A double tag brings in Billy vs. Fatu (Rikishi) with the Samoan hitting a quick superkick. Billy comes back with a top rope clothesline as Vince tells us Billy went to college on a rodeo scholarship. That actually exists? Another superkick from Samu knocks Billy into the tag to Bart who is slammed face first into the mat for his troubles. Bigelow comes in with a dropkick for two before it’s back to Fatu for a wicked powerslam. The Samoans take turns double teaming Bart with headbutts and chops as the heat segment goes on for a good while.

Bigelow misses a charge and hits the post, allowing Bart to make the hot tag off to Tatanka. The Indian chops every heel in sight and takes Bigelow down with a DDT and a high cross body for two. Tatanka goes on the war path but walks into an enziguri from Bam Bam. Sometimes there’s no better solution than to kick a guy in the head. Everything breaks down and Tatanka is left all alone against the three monsters. A TRIPLE HEADBUTT puts Tatanka down and all three go up for a triple flying headbutt, but Tatanka rolls away and rolls up Samu for the pin.

Rating: B-. Where in the world did this come from??? This was a shockingly good tag match with everyone moving fast and some great looking spots from Bigelow. Tatanka was one of those guys that the fans just liked and there’s no way you can fake that. Good stuff here and a very nice surprise.

To fill in time, we talk to Luger’s bus driver. The guy is so valuable he gets to sit in the bus and watch the show on a monitor. He talks about how great Luger is and how he visited a bunch of kids.

Pettingill asks some fans who they like in the main event and the answer is obvious.

Some guy sings the Japanese national anthem.

Randy Savage is master of ceremonies for the main event and comes out with some country singer who sings the American national anthem.

WWF Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna

Remember, this is Luger’s ONE title shot. It’s a long staredown to start before Lex has to knock Mr. Fuji down. Lex starts pounding away but a single shot from the champion puts him down. Luger comes back with more right hands and down goes Yoko. A big elbow drop gets two for Luger and he avoid one from Yoko. Luger hits a running clothesline in the corner before pounding away on the champion’s head in the corner. Yoko will have none of that though and takes Luger down with a single chop.

Luger gets in some right hands but can’t slam Yoko again. Instead he gets kicked in the face and knocked to the floor with some headbutts. Out to the floor they go with Yoko choking Luger with a mic cord. A splash crushes Luger against the post but Yoko misses a chair shot. They head back inside where Luger hits two ax handle shots off the top and middle rope before a top rope forearm gets a very close two count.

A double clothesline puts both guys down and things slow down even more. Fuji throws in his bucket which Yoko uses to knock Luger out cold but only for two. A big belly to belly suplex and side slam get the same results as the champion is getting frustrated. Off to a nerve hold by the champion which eats up several minutes.

Luger fights up again but gets clotheslined down for two. To show you how impressive he is, Heenan actually compliments Luger. I don’t think I ever remember him cheering for a good guy before. Yokozuna loads up the Banzai Drop but Luger rolls away at the last minute. They fight into the corner again but Yoko misses a charge. Luger slams him down and hits the loaded forearm, knocking the champion out to the floor. Unfortunately for Luger, he also knocked Yokozuna out cold, earning Luger a countout win.

Rating: D+. This was long and slow without being very good. Luger got good reactions though, especially for the slam. It was clear that his character was nothing but warmed over Hogan leftovers but at least the fans hadn’t entirely realized that yet. This wasn’t a terrible match, but it certainly was nothing of note either. The ending wasn’t great but it was necessary to continue the story being told.

Luger celebrates with his friends to end the show despite not winning the title. We even get a music video of his push, which would be WAY more effective if Luger had, you know, WON THE FREAKING TITLE. Heenan: “This was his ONE shot!” Vince: “Don’t worry he’ll get another one!” Heaven forbid we pay attention to storylines that PPVs are built around.

Overall Rating: C+. With a Luger title win, this would have been a very solid show. There are some bad matches on here but the majority of the show works amazingly well with Bret vs. Lawler and the six man being highlights. Much like last year it’s a show where the overall show is better than its individual parts which made for a good show. Why Luger didn’t go over here continues to elude me.

Ratings Comparison

Razor Ramon vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: B-

Redo: C

1-2-3 Kid vs. I.R.S.

Original: F

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown

Original: B

Redo: C+

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: B+

Redo: B

Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: C+

Redo: G (As in I long for Great Khali)

Tatanka/Smoking Gunns vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Headshrinkers

Original: F+

Redo: B-

Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: C+

……I had no idea what I was doing back then did I?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/27/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1993-i-still-dont-get-the-ending/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

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