Best of the WWF Volume 4
Host: Vince McMahon
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes, Gene Okerlund

Remember how I said I’d be doing two of these at once? This is the second one. We’re looking at a much older time in the company, probably about 5 months after the first Wrestlemania. In other words, everything is still about Hogan vs. Piper and company, with Paul Orndorff starting to hang out with and fight for Hogan somewhat. Big money would follow. Let’s get to it.

That Coliseum Video is still awesome.

Paul Orndorff vs. Roddy Piper

This is from MSG and the aftermath of the loss at Mania. Piper actually said he screwed up. That should sum up the rareness of this one. The crowd is ERUPTING and they’re on the floor very quickly. Paul grabs the arm and Piper messes up Paul’s hair. You don’t do that in the 80s! Piper tries everything he can think of but can’t break the wristlock. Piper gets a knee up in the corner and a clothesline sends Orndorff to the outside.

Back in Orndorff grabs a fast backslide for two but gets his eyes poked to change the momentum again. They go back to the floor again and Piper shakes his arm. See how easy it is? You see? The brawl begins all over again but Orndorff gets sent into the post. Piper hooks a front facelock and shifts it to a choke as often as he can. After a few failed attempts, Orndorff manages to bridge up into a backslide for two.

Paul slugs away and they go to the floor again. Now Orndorff pulls his hair to make up for the unfair cosmetic attack earlier. He pulls Piper back in by the hair (FREAKING OW) and Piper shakes like a fish on a plate. Orndoff goes up…and here’s Bob Orton to shove him off for the DQ. I guess Orton wasn’t happy with his “friend” having his hair messed with like that.

Rating: C+. Rather fun brawl although not much of a match. Still though, after watching that awful show I just sat through, how much can you complain about this? This was a super hot feud back in the day and it would continue on for a few more months until. Fun brawl and really fun to see them both, probably at their in ring peaks.

The pair beats down Orndorff for a good while until the Bulldogs make the save, probably to set up a future six man.

Hulk Hogan/Jimmy Snuka vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

In Boston which means a hot crowd. Hogan is champion (duh) and Jimmy is probably the second most popular guy in the company. More Mania fallout stuff here. Big brawl to start and the good guys clear the ring. Snuka and Orton officially start and Bob gets his cast beaten on. Well that’s a very slow healing injury after all. They work on the arm for awhile with Hogan even coming in off the middle rope with a shot.

The arm hits the post and at this point it’s still a fresh injury, only having been broken for a month or so. Back to Snuka and the beating continues. The Human Banana comes back in and Orton can’t get anything going. Big atomic drop has Orton in trouble but he manages to trip Hogan to bring in Muraco. Gee Hogan went down quickly there. Clipped to Orton hitting a nice delayed vertical on Hogan.

Back to Muraco with some nice heel double teaming. They collide and there’s the hot tag to Snuka. The camera cuts to a shot of the crowd and a kid pops up right in front of the camera like in a horror movie. Fuji gets up on the apron for a distraction and Orton hits Snuka with the cast. Hogan takes a shot too and Snuka is busted. OH MAN is he cut. Hogan goes into the post on the floor and we’re clipped to more beating on Snuka. He gets a shot in though and it’s off to Hogan finally. Orton pops him with the cast almost immediately and it gets thrown out.

Rating: C+. I liked this one a lot and I’d have loved to see the full version of it. That and a decisive ending instead of the DQ but whatever. This was Hogan 101 back in the day: find some guy to tag with, find a pair of heels, and watch the guy get bigger than he was going to be able to get on his own. They’re trying that with Cena and Ryder at the moment, but it’s not working so well because Ryder looks like a helpless chick (remember Cena holding him?) in the whole thing.

Big brawl post match again.

Battle Royal

There are 20 people in this and it’s from 1982 so I’m not going to bother figuring out who they all are. Just to give you some of the names: Atlas, SD Jones, Valentine, the Blackjacks, Morales, Fuji, Adonis (Biker, not yet gay), both Strongbows, Rodz, Estrada, Skiluna (thanks for listing all of these guys Vince) and others. Snuka goes out. Masa Saito is in there too.

Ivan Putski and Tiger Chung Lee are in this also. Garea is out there so that has to be most of them. Blackjack Mulligan and Putski are out. Swede Hanson is there too. That leaves one I don’t know. Apparently his name is Laurette Suce. Ok then. I know I butchered that. Garea is put out. Saito goes out as well. Either there are 21 people in this or I can’t count as a guy named Steve Travis chops Hanson.

Clipped to a bit later so I have no idea who is still in this. Morales pops Adonis in the face a few times and sends him flying. Someone goes out that we miss. It was both Strongbow brothers. Fuji is gone too. Adonis is tied in the ropes. That’s not a horrible place to be actually. I think there are about ten left. Pedro gets triple teamed in the corner and is finally put out.

Yeah there are nine left and no I won’t name them, mainly because I don’t know who they are. The fans are about 99% behind Atlas. Vince says Suce throws punches like a girl. Someone (the name Vince gives them) is out. Valentine is really busted open. Suce is gone as is someone else and all of a sudden they’re flying out.

Ok so the final four are Jones, Atlas, Valentine and Adonis. We get something like a mini tag match and heel miscommunication abounds. Tony beats up Valentine and the heels get slammed together. This is in Philadelphia if you’re curious. Powerslam by Adonis to Jones. Adonis busts out a top rope elbow, which would be a huge spot at this point. Off to a sleeper while on the other side, Valentine is tied up between the ropes. Atlas fights up and dumps Adonis with no acknowledgment at all from Vince. He wasn’t that good yet.

Atlas goes OFF on Valentine and knocks him into the corner with a headbutt. A dropkick by Jones almost puts Valentine out, so he fires a second one and Valentine is gone. He was practically out on his feet anyway. That makes the final two SD Jones and Tony Atlas. They hug, and I absolutely kid you not, flip a coin to decide the winner. Atlas wins. I’ll give them this: it’s a new one.

Rating: C. Well it certainly was different. This was a very refreshing kind of battle royal with no huge stars in it, making the whole thing just kind of fun. Vince mentioned the winner getting money so at least there was a reason for them to fight. Not a classic or anything but I liked it. The ending was creative and at least they were cheered.

We get a special segment on the wrestlers’ specialties, or finishers as we would call them. It’s really just a set of clips of the guys using them. Steamboat’s is just listed as “Karate.” These might just be signatures instead of finishers. Orndorff’s is “Strength.” Is he a Pokemon? Stan Hansen is in this. Bruno’s is “All The Right Moves.” Ok then. My goodness he’s a hairy man. Yeah Hogan is listed as a clothesline and an elbow. Seriously? There are a ton of these that I’m not mentioning because they’re just guys doing moves. The Superfly Splash is always cool, especially the cage dive. The Bulldogs use “acrobatics.”

Andre the Giant vs. Killer Khan

This is a Mongolian Stretcher Match. Khan had broken Andre’s ankle so you have to beat one person down until they have to be carried out on a stretcher. We’re in Philly. Khan tries to run but Andre pulls him back in by the hair. Andre sits on him and the referees try to put him on the stretcher but he’s not done yet. Khan tries to backdrop him so Andre busts out a piledriver. A falling headbutt misses though and Khan goes after the ankle for some continuity. Khan drops a bunch of knees and calls for the stretcher. That just ticks the Giant off and here comes the pain.

Andre can’t really follow up though because of his ankle. His solution? HE SITS ON KHAN’S HEAD! Khan holds onto the ropes so Andre jumps on him SIX TIMES IN A ROW. Khan tries to grab the apron skirt and stays in. Oh this isn’t going to end well. Andre suplexes him, sits on him AGAIN, and splashes him to end this. Khan is DEAD.

Rating: C-. No it wasn’t that good, but man Andre’s destruction of Khan was something to see. Khan laying there like that was great as he looked like he had been completely destroyed. Fun stuff but Andre being a monster that is ticked off is always at least worth a look. Also cool to see him in better shape like this.

Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd

This is in a cage, before Wrestlemania, and joined in progress. This is just here for the ending. Studd is busted open already but manages to get in some shots and goes for the door. Andre stops him and drops a leg to break that up. Andre easily slams him and goes up. He goes to the top and JUMPS DOWN ONTO STUDD’S CHEST!!! When did this turn into a snuff tape??? No rating, but my goodness Studd has to be dead.

Andre the Giant vs. King Kong Bundy

By jove I think we’ve got a theme going here! This is called the Colossal Jostle for no apparent reason. Albano is with Andre to counter Hart. Andre goes right for him as this is about revenge from a Bundy attack in Toronto. Bundy gets chopped in the corner and knocked to the floor. Clipped to Bundy getting knocked back to the floor. Clipped again to Bundy knocking Andre down. Bundy goes after the injured sternum which was hurt by a bunch of splashes at the aforementioned Toronto show. Andre fires off some shoulders in the corner to take over. Bundy runs into a boot in the corner and here’s Studd for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull stuff here but at least they kept it relatively short. The clipping really hurt it….I think. It might have helped it but it’s kind of hard to tell. Not terrible but definitely worse than the Khan match. This would result in Hogan coming in to help Andre….I think.

Dream Team vs. Tito Santana/Ricky Steamboat

This is in Toronto. My goodness that’s quite a face team. Ricky vs. Beefcake starts us off. The ring is quickly cleared and Ricky hits what we would call a springboard forearm to take over. Off to Tito as the camera stuff is really all over the place here. Jesse sounds like he has a sore throat. Valentine and Santana stall a lot so Brutus slams Tito and then brings in Greg.

Valentine misses an elbow and it’s back to more stalling. I can barely recognize Jesse’s voice. That’s how messed up it is. Big clothesline puts Valentine down but the Figure Four is broken up. Greg takes over and works over the arm. Off to Bruti who can’t do much more than choke at this point. This is before the Expresses established the tag team formula so things are a bit different here.

Tito grabs an armbar but his back is to the wrong corner so he can’t get anything going. Back to Beefcake in control via a headlock. In a nice sequence, Beefcake points at Steamboat to distract the referee and Valentine gets in a shot to the back of Santana. With Ricky trying to get in, Santana gets on all fours and tries to bob and weave, eventually diving through Beefcake’s legs for the HOT tag to Steamboat.

Sleeper goes on Beefcake but he pretty easily breaks it up. Valentine comes in to hammer on Ricky and an eye rake slows the Dragon down. The Dream Team (not sure if they’re named that yet or if Steamboat is the Dragon) works him over and Valentine starts loading up the Figure Four but Steamboat small packages him for two. Steamboat fights out of the corner and makes ANOTHER hot tag to Santana. The forearm gets two on Valentine and everything breaks down. Ricky is sent to the floor but he comes back off the top to take Brutus out. Santana counters an atomic drop, hooks the leg and the Figure Four ends this.

Rating: B. Great old school tag match here and more proof that you don’t need some big long back story to have a great match. These four had no history together outside of Valentine beating Santana for the IC Title and that was like 6 months prior to this. Very fun wrestling match here and we didn’t need Teddy Long to book it.

Overall Rating: C+. A lot of this is going to depend on your tastes. Other than the main event the matches aren’t great but there’s nothing on here that’s really bad. However if you don’t like old school stuff, this certainly isn’t going to be your taste. Good, fun show though and I liked it a lot. Good luck finding it though.

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Saturday Night’s Main Event 1
Date: May 11, 1985
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Long Island, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

So I figured this was a good one to get around to. This is the fallout show from Mania but there isn’t a ton of fallout. No one really knew what this was going to be like but it was an experiment worth trying at least. It was the first chance a lot of people would have to see these guys on television as it was shown on NBC in prime time which was unheard of back then. Either way, this should be fun so let’s get to it.

As usual we open with the main faces for the night talking. Wendi Richter and Cyndi Lauper are talking about the match with Moolah tonight and Hogan and Mr. T. say they’re ready for Bob Orton tonight. As always, the music is awesome. Jesse is in pink. He can get away with it though.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff/George Steele vs. Mike Rotunda/Barry Windham/Ricky Steamboat

That’s quite the face tag team. This was on the SNME DVD (great DVD that should certainly be picked up if you can find it. Awesome stuff on it) as an extra. Blassie is with the heels and Albano is with the faces. The two foreigners had taken the tag titles from the US Express at Wrestlemania for a token tag title change.

About a year prior to this, the US Express had been using Real American for their theme music. That went to Hogan of course and here they use Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen which works like a charm for them as it’s perfect. We start with Windham and Steele which is an odd matchup if there ever has been one.

Sheik was hitting the end of whatever usefulness that he had at this point. Rotundo would soon head to WCW and become a member of the Varsity Club, ending in an awesome moment with Rick Steiner taking the TV Title from him after months of being talked down to by him. Wow what a tangent that was.

Oh and he’s more commonly known as I.R.S. Oddly enough the faces dominate early on. We go to commercial with the faces dominating. We begin the awesome SNME tradition of not having action during commercials so we don’t have to be all confused about how we got to a point during a break.

Wow there are four hall of fame wrestlers in here and two on the floor. That’s rather impressive, especially considering that the two that aren’t in there are two of the three most talented. Steele comes in and his teammates abandon him, allowing Windham to get a quick rollup for the pin. Steele eats a turnbuckle and the tag champions beat him up. That doesn’t last long as Albano comes in to calm him down and Steele is a face.

Rating: C-. Eh this was fine. It wasn’t meant to be anything special other than a way to get Steele out of the dark side, but the heel offense consisted of about four Volkoff punches and other than that it was a complete squash. I don’t get why it was so one sided, but it did its job and wasn’t bad at all so for the first match in show history this was perfectly fine.

The heels blame Steele for the loss and Steele and Albano scare them off.

Piper’s Pit

The guest is Paul Orndorff, who was Piper’s partner in the main event of Wrestlemania. Orton is there as well. Paul more or less says go ahead and try to beat me up to Orton which Piper tries to defuse quickly. Piper has to be high on something. Either that or he’s just completely insane. I’m not sure which it is.

Piper keeps insulting Orndorff and then he would jump up and yell at both guys who run and scream. Piper finally gives up and calls Orndorff a piece of garbage and Paul cleans house. A piledriver is blocked by a cast shot from Orton. Mr. T. makes the save. Ok, we get it: Mr. T. is in a wrestling company. Let it go already.

Hogan says he dedicates the match tonight to his mother. Ok then. He’s also happy about Paul’s recent face turn.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Bob Orton

Hogan coming out to Eye of the Tiger is some combination of odd, awesome and epic. You figure out the proportions. Naturally it starts out with Hogan completely dominating Orton. This was also on the DVD but the color and picture quality were WAY better there. It looks bad here to say the least. This is exactly what you would expect it to be: Hogan works the arm and then a shot from Orton gives him control. Our hero is in trouble. WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO???

Well at the moment he’s going to get his head kicked in a little more. And of course there’s the comeback and you know the finish. Actually I typed too soon. Hogan drops an elbow and uses a headbutt of all things. Orton takes over again. This is most odd indeed. Hogan fights out of the superplex and comes off the top rope! He goes for the leg but Piper runs in for the DQ. The heels beat up T and set for the double team but Orndorff runs out for the save and the full face turn.

Rating: C. This was just pure average. It was what you expected but the DQ was kind of odd. It’s not like a pin would have been odd here but whatever. This was fine for what it was. Hogan gets on TV and the biggest star got to showcase himself.

After a break we come back to the three of them posing and you can just tell that Vince wants to screw all of them.

Gene is with Cyndi Lauper and Albano. Lauper has a VERY annoying voice. These two started the Rock N Wrestling Connection and launched wrestling into the stratosphere.

They air her new video which has about ever wrestler with a cameo in it other than Piper who shows up to yell about it. That was awesome actually.

Women’s Title: Wendi Richter vs. Fabulous Moolah

Before the match, Moolah says she’s tired of the interference so Lauper is barred tonight. The reading of the announcement that Lauper is gone tonight takes the better part of forever to get through and FINALLY we get to the match. This was match number two that fueled the mega run that wrestling went on.

We’re on the floor nearly immediately. To say Richter was popular at this time was the understatement of all time. She would actually main event house shows if you can believe that. Surprisingly, Moolah is being beaten down for the most part here. Considering she was champion for about 30 years, that’s saying a lot. Yes I know she didn’t really hold it that long but that’s kayfabe for you. Richter gets a quick small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is just long enough to grade but there isn’t anything of note here. It’s ok but that’s about it. Women’s wrestling back then was more of a mess than it is now, but the women could work MUCH better than they can today for the most part. Ok not really but these two had a feud going and that was better than nothing. Yeah the match sucked and I’m rambling.

JYD has his mother here for Mother’s Day. Her name is Bertha.

Pete Doherty vs. Junkyard Dog

Take a wild guess who wins here. Grab Them Cakes is a decent song if nothing else. Them Cakes means a woman’s back in case you were wondering. Oh never mind that’s Another One Bites the Dust. Wow my hearing must be off. And it’s a three minute squash with Doherty being on the floor for a lot of that. JYD and his mom dance afterwards.

Rating: N/A. This was just thrown in for filler as a lot of stuff was around this time.

We come back to see Cyndi Lauper’s Mother’s Day party. It’s just a long line of wrestlers with their “mothers” including Hogan. They all say they love them and then a food fight starts.

Jesse and Vince wrap things up.

Overall Rating: C+. It got the big names on TV other than Andre but he was a very sporadic guy at this point. This was fine for a debut but you could see that it was a lot of rehashing Mania which to be fair was so groundbreaking that they didn’t have a lot of other stuff to go with. Also, that was the hottest thing in the world back then so they were right to go with it I guess.

Not bad but a lot more for entertainment than wrestling which is fine. Great job of showing who everyone is though so that’s a major plus. Check it out because it’s a huge deal as far as starting a big tradition so there we are.

Starrcade 1985
Date: November 28, 1985
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina/The Omni, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Bob Caudle, Tony Schiavone

Found this and figured it would be worth taking a look at. This is a show where they have two different locations, each with six matches and each with a main event. In Atlanta we have the rematch of previous year’s show with Flair vs. Dusty of course. The other is perhaps the best match in Starrcade history as Tully Blanchard meets Magnum TA in a steel cage I Quit match. This should be very solid as the card looks freaking stacked. Let’s get to it.

We open with a shot of a big disco ball. Ok then. This is called The Gathering for no apparent reason. The lighting is AWFUL. You can barely see Bob Caudle and Tony Schiavone. We throw it to Johnny Weaver who keeps looking at the cue card he’s reading from which is odd to see. Other than the TV Title everything is on the line tonight. We open in Greensboro, the home of Starrcade.

The national anthem plays and we’re ready to go.

Mid-Atlantic Title: Sam Houston vs. Krusher Khruschev

Krusher is more commonly known as Smash of Demolition so we’ll go with that name for him as it’s easier to spell. The title is vacant at this point due to a guy named Buzz Tyler leaving the territory so this is a tournament final. The referee is in yellow for no apparent reason. The ring looks rather small for some reason. Perhaps it could be that it is small. Both guys are in red here so it looks a bit odd.

They’re going power vs. speed here as Houston is a tiny man to say the least. The commentary has some long spaces of no talking at all. Crowd is a bit deceased at this point. Smash was always good at making noise during the matches. The EVIL Russian is dominating here.

Mind you that’s the Minnesota form of Russian but whatever. We hit the Russian bearhug. Oh joy. Sam hits his only move, the bulldog, but the foot is on the ropes. Smash hits his move, the Russian Sickle (running clothesline but not quite) and Sam gets his foot on the ropes but the referee misses it. EVIL RUSSIA WINS!

Rating: D+. Uh, isn’t the crowd supposed to get into the opening match on the biggest show of the year? This was rather boring to say the least and not a lot came of it. Smash winning was the right move as there was no point to having a guy the size of Houston pick it up. Not terrible but I’ve seen far better.

Now to Atlanta. Unless I say otherwise, the venues alternate.

Manny Fernandez vs. Abdullah the Butcher

This is a Mexican Death Match, meaning you get the pin and then there’s a ten count the other guy has to answer and if he can’t get up the match is over. Manny is about as stereotypical of a Mexican as you can ask for. He trained R-Truth which is his biggest claim to fame. Ok screw the ten count as it’s a hat on a pole match instead. Ok then. Seriously you just have to climb up and get the hat to win.

Butcher jumps him before the bell so we’re off early. The lighting is again crap and we have no commentary at this point. Tony again has microphone difficulties. Ah there they are. Manny is busted about 30 seconds into this. They REALLY need to work on their pauses in talking. Manny uses his boot as we continue this annoying Southern theme in the NWA. Abdullah going up the ropes is really funny looking. Amazingly he’s bleeding too. Who would have guessed that one?

Manny continues to just take clothes off and use them to fight Butches. Sure why not. So Manny is now in socks and no belt. That works I guess. Manny hits the Flying Burrito (real name) to knock Butcher to the ropes. Ok the suplex on Butcher was cool looking, I’ll give him that much. Manny goes for the hat (seriously a hat?) and gets a fork to the balls. Apparently the NWA is now CZW. Another Burrito (which is a forearm in case you didn’t know) and a clothesline puts Butcher down. And he just climbs up and gets it. Ok then.

Rating: B-. Pretty decent brawl here actually although the hat was just out of left freaking field. I liked it a lot though even though it was mainly just violence. Still though, solid stuff here and it came off pretty well. The big man vs. little man stuff worked well here so there we are.

Back in Greensboro Khruschev says he’s happy and thanks his fellow Russians for helping him. His total lack of accent is rather funny.

Ron Bass vs. Black Bart

This is a Texas Bullrope match where is Bass wins he immediately gets the same match with Bart’s manager, James J. Dillon. Dillon is in one of those tuxedo shirts that I want. This is right around the time the Horsemen came together so there’s a solid chance Dillon isn’t with them yet. In every match so far, one of the guys has been from Texas. Ron Bass being a face is WEIRD. I’m not sure which set of rules they’re using here but I’d bet on the four corners version. And I’m wrong again as it’s pins.

Bart is bleeding inside of a few seconds. This is really just another brawl with the rope involved. Both guys are already busted and we’re sitting in silence again. Dillon looks REALLY young here to say the least. Bart is in trouble here as the winner is pretty clear I’d think. I’ve never liked these matches as the bell and rope are such regional things and they’re just annoying.

The problem here is that things slow down a lot instead of having just straight fighting. I get the idea of it but at the same time it’s just taking too long. Also, why are there two cowboys in the same match? Oh ok they used to be partners. There’s the explanation. From out of nowhere a bell shot from the top ends it. Dillon takes his shirt off. Oh dear.

Rating: D. I hated this, but then again I hate bullrope matches that don’t have Sting in them so there we are. The ending came out of nowhere and the total lack of commentary hurt this a lot. It just makes them seem uninterested which is never a good thing at all. Boring fight compared to the previous one.

Ron Bass vs. James J. Dillon

This is max five minutes as per the rules. Dillon, the manager, jumps him fast and beats the heck out of him. We’ll ignore how little sense that makes. He COWBOYS UP thought and it’s beatdown time. After a LONG beating, the referee goes down and Bart comes in with a piledriver and pulls Dillon on top for the fluke pin.

Rating: N/A. Too short here but the booking wound up making sense in the end as Bass got to beat on him and then wound up losing to heel shenanigans so I can live with this one.

Back to Atlanta for…arm wrestling? Yeah it’s Billy Graham vs. Barbarian as they continue arguing over who the strongest wrestler is. Needless to say Graham is the face here. And there’s going to be a regular match too? This is for 10,000 dollars also. Ok then. They do it left handed. Oh Barbarian has a broken hand. That makes sense. Now if you don’t know how this is going to go, you have no business watching this show or reading this review. After two comebacks, Graham wins.

Billy Graham vs. Barbarian

Sure why not? I’m not sure I get the point here but whatever. I think this is the first match where neither is from Texas. Naturally this is a big power match and little more. Graham gets the bear hug and has his arms called pythons. And there’s Barbarian’s manager in for the DQ. Graham is bleeding. Other than the opener that’s happened in every match I think.

Rating: N/A. This was like two minutes long so what do you want me to say about it? Graham was about to get like 10 years older in about a year or two as he would go to WWF again and just be crippled by steroid abuse over the years.

National Title: Terry Taylor vs. Buddy Landel

Have I mentioned I can’t stand Taylor? Like, REALLY can’t stand him, almost to Ronnie Garvin levels? The National Title was just the title of the Georgia territory and not a real national belt. You have to remember that this is a bunch of promotions having big matches at once and not one company having one show. Imagine if in the NCAA all the conferences had their title games on the same night in the same place. That’s what this is kind of like.

It would be unified with the US Title in about a year. Landel was a guy that was good but not great. He was a guy you could bring in and count on to have a decent feud/match and then go away. Think of someone like Kane but of normal size. The problem with the formula they’re using is that it causes the matches to be a bit disjointed. What I mean is everything is a big match so it’s hard to have a breather or anything.

It’s really a supershow which is both good and bad at the same time. There’s nothing to really talk about in this. I mean seriously we’re 9 minutes in and I haven’t thought of a thing that is interesting enough to talk about. There’s nothing to make fun of either.

Taylor goes for his superplex finisher but Dillon (how many people does he freaking manage???) sweeps his leg out so that he falls backwards so Landel can get the pin and the title. We’ll ignore that Taylor would have landed the same had the move hit. Landel would be fired in about a month for drug use so Dusty was just given the title.

Rating: C. This is the textbook example of a match that is just there. It’s not particularly good or bad. It just exists. There’s no other way to put it. I know that’s not much but it’s all I’ve got.

National Tag Titles: Billy Jack Haynes/Wahoo McDaniel vs. Arn Anderson/Ole Anderson

Yes it’s the Minnesota Wrecking Crew. Dang the 80s were awesome for wrestling. The faces/challengers hold the Florida Tag Titles at this point. Again these are the Georgia tag belts, not actual national titles. Haynes you may know as the guy that fought Hercules at Mania 3.

Wahoo knew like 2 moves and both were chops so there you are. Being realistic here, who do you really think is going to win here? This is formula stuff with the faces getting in trouble and fighting back to get out of it. If it works so well, why change it at all I guess. And Ole trips Wahoo so Arn can pin him. These pins are coming out of freaking nowhere and it’s getting rather annoying.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and really just a way for the Andersons to get an easy title defense and there’s nothing wrong with that. Don’t think anyone believed there would be new champions or anything here which is ok too. Simple by the book match which at times is the best idea to go with.

Landel is in the back with Dillon and Weaver, who is really bad here. Landel is called the top man in Dillon’s stable. That’s saying a lot. Oh yeah he’s not with the Horsemen yet. Landel says he’s the World’s National Heavyweight Champion. No wonder he was fired.

US Title: Tully Blanchard vs. Magnum TA

OH YES!!! In short, screw everything else in the history of Starrcade. THIS is the greatest match in the history of the show, period and end of story and argument. Ok, so more or less, this is the idea: culture clash. Tully is considered the wrestler’s wrestler. He’s the epitome of the rich guy that is a total jerk to everyone but no one can beat him.

Magnum is from the South, rides on a Harley, drinks beer instead of champagne and is a fighter known for two things: a heck of a right hand, and the sickest belly to belly this side of Brock Lesnar. For months upon months these two had gone after each other but there had never been the definitive match. Everyone knew that would come on Thanksgiving night and here we are. The build for this is off the charts.

It’s also in a cage and an I Quit match. Hmm. A match between a guy considered to be the top technical man in wrestling and a pure redneck where you win by submission. Just goes to show you that even the best angles such as Hart and Austin aren’t always original. Also, this is a more violent match so there you are.

Magnum is introduced as the vastly popular Magnum TA. That’s an understatement. Hey they hit the lights so we can see! The fans pop like crazy over a single punch. They help this match a lot as they’ve watch this build for about a year or so and are drooling for the end. They slug it out to start and I’m glad there’s no commentary here as it’s not needed. And of course there goes Bob Caudle.

The people here are popping for every single thing so they can more or less do whatever they like. This is a match where it’s all brawling and that’s all it should be. Tully is bleeding from the face and the arm which is something you hardly ever see but it’s working for me. Magnum, being smart, goes for the arm. Magnum is bleeding too.

The microphone they have to say they give up into is finally brought into play and we get the famous sequence as Tully screams at him to say it but when he says no Tully blasts him with the microphone. So simple yet so effective. They do it again and Magnum is in big trouble. He dodges an elbow drop and the fans EXPLODE. You would think he just won the title. Tully won’t give up either.

The mic use is what I like about this as it makes perfect sense to have that in the ring with them rather than the insane things you get in Cell matches. With both guys on their knees they just start throwing bombs at each other. Tully is getting very frustrated and loses his cool. Hmm where have I seen this before?

Baby Doll, Tully’s manager, throws a wooden chair in and it gets broken up. Tully uses a piece to drive into the head of Magnum but it doesn’t work. Magnum gets the spike and DRIVES IT INTO TULLY’S EYE FOR THE SUBMISSION. Tully screaming in pain after it’s over makes this whole thing even better.

Rating: A+. Just an epic fight here with tons of blood and straight up violence. THIS is how you blow off a feud. Go find this match. It’s on the Essential Starrcade and shouldn’t be hard to fine online. Go watch it as it’s an absolute classic.

Miss Atlanta Lively/Jimmy Valiant vs. Midnight Express

This is a street fight and it’s Eaton and Condrey in case you old school fans are wondering. Lively is Ronnie Garvin in drag. This has F written all over it. Somehow Garvin is the better wrestler on his team. The Express are in tuxedoes for no apparent reason. Cornette is at his best here. Oh and the face manager is named Big Mama. Kill me now, please. Cornette is cracking me up, saying both of them may be men but they both may be women but he’s not sure.

Valiant is one of those guys that can’t wrestle but he got a major push anyway and is over so there we are. Condrey is busted open. This should be Bloodfest instead of the Gathering. Someone has powder and hits Valiant with it. This was the 1980s so it’s likely spare cocaine. They try to get Garvin’s clothes off and I have no idea what the point of this is supposed to be. Garvin takes the racket to the top of the head. Rock on violence against women!

Garvin is wearing heels and pins Bobby Eaton. So a woman and a guy that is more known for his beard than his ability beat one of the best teams ever. Sure why not. Post match they strip Cornette to his boxers. Take me now, please.

Rating: F+. I have NO idea what the idea of this was supposed to be but it completely failed in my eyes. This was not only boring but was crap too. Granted there was zero talent on one side and a lot on the other but whatever. At least it was short.

Magnum cuts a GREAT promo, talking about how he’ll be a fighting champion. Sweet goodness did he have a ton of potential.

NWA Tag Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. The Koloffs

This is in a cage as well and is the ending of the Greensboro part now. These two feuded for the better part of ever in the 80s and this is yet another “blowoff” to it. The RNRE of course are WAY over as you would expect them to be. They’re also the challengers here. They’re tagging here so this should be fun. This is the Rock N Roll Express and it’s the 1980s. Do you need me to explain what happens here?

Oddly enough Gibson is in there most of the time. This is another of those matches where there’s little that I can say about it. Khruschev and Don Kernoodle are the seconds here. Referee goes down again. Morton finally gets the tag and after his usual stuff, hits a rollup for the pin and the titles. The Russians beat them up even more after the match.

Rating: B-. It’s hard to mess up an RNRE match if their opponents are at least passable and the Russians were indeed passable. This was fine and served as a way to get a massive pop for the end of the night in Greensboro. This was a good match that served its purpose very well I though. Nothing classic or anything like that, but fine for what it was.

NWA World Heavyweight Title: Ric Flair vs. Dusty Rhodes

Oh like anyone but these two would be in the main event. Flair in this era coming out to that music is nothing short of perfect. The double city thing makes sense as in Greensboro Flair would get the biggest pop of the night. Dusty is listed at 275. That’s HILARIOUS. The big gold belt isn’t there yet. This is happening because Dusty helped Flair and then the team that would become the Horsemen in January broke Dusty’s leg/ankle.

Dusty, please don’t shake it. The planet can’t take that much weight shifting. Dusty of course dominates early on. We can already see the problem here. See, at this time, Flair could allegedly wrestle a broom to a B grade match (the expression you might hear is three and a half star but screw that star system. Everyone else uses it and I hate it).

He did this because Flair had a very basic way of working a match: he controls, the other guy makes a comeback, shot to the knee, Flair works the knee for 8 minutes, face makes the comeback, finish. How many times have you seen that match and how many times has it been at least good? The idea was you wouldn’t always see a classic, but you would hardly ever if ever at all see a bad Flair match.

EVERYONE but Dusty got that idea and Flair’s formula worked to near perfection. Dusty insisted that they use HIS method which is make Dusty look good and use a LOT of rest holds. It worked for Dusty and the fat of doom but not for anyone else and it was very boring. Flair goes for the knee and Dusty hits the floor. Dusty tries to inject psychology into the match which translates into he gets to lay down after 5 minutes.

Dusty works on Flair’s knee and I use that term loosely. In an unintentionally hilarious spot, Flair can’t suplex Rhodes. Allegedly it’s his leg but I would argue it’ the weight of the planet between Dusty’s legs and his back. And Dusty lays down again. Let’s do a sleeper! Even more time where we don’t have to really do anything for Dusty! Dusty lunges for the corner to break it up. My bet is there was some powder left from earlier and Dusty thought the turnbuckle was a new kind of doughnut.

Dusty was lazy on a snapmare. ON A SNAPMARE. Ok let’s stop and think about this for a minute. How exactly does a snapmare work? You have two guys, one behind the other. One guy grabs the other’s head and snaps, hence the term SNAPmare the other guy’s head forward while the guy taking the move jumps right? Oh and the guy doing it ducks down. Dusty did NOTHING. He slowly brought his arms forward.

He didn’t SNAP, he didn’t duck, and he went to the side instead of over the shoulder. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? JACKIE GAYDA could do a snapmare properly and this guy is about to win the freaking world title? Good freaking night. Dusty misses an elbow and lays down AGAIN. Seriously he’s been laying on his back more than Becca would for Shawn. Dusty comes off the top with a cross body for two.

Flair should get the title right there since a mountain just jumped at him. Dusty does his stupid looking punches and misses a kick so the knee is down again. Any credit this match gets goes to Flair for having to sell for this fat tub of goo, period. One thing you might notice about the figure four that Flair uses: about 90% of the time, it’s on the wrong leg. The straight leg is the one that’s in pain, not the crossed one.

Dusty manages to reverse without ever selling the pain, which is at least staying consistent as nothing Flair has done has seemed to hurt him here. He’s not even limping. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Young is knocked to the floor. Cue the (future) Horsemen. Dusty gets that abomination that he calls the figure four on and there they are. It’s Arn and Ole in case you were wondering. That’s nothing though and Dusty gets the rollup on Flair for the pin.

It’s traditionally called a small package but nothing about Dusty is small. A bunch of wrestlers including Billy Graham come out to carry Dusty on their shoulders but of course they can’t do it. No one can carry Dusty. Dang I love double entendres. Post match Dusty says he’ll be champion for a long time and the announcers send us off. Actually that’s not the case though.

Dusty’s title reign isn’t counted as on the next TV show he was stripped of the title due to the referee being down and the other referee counting the pin. Yes, Dusty managed to do a Dusty finish ON THE BIGGEST SHOW OF THE YEAR. Can you imagine what would happen if they did this at Mania? The backlash (oh wait it’s Extreme Rules now isn’t it?) would be off the charts. Anyway, that’s the end of the show.

Rating: D. Dusty…you are a fat worthless goon. Flair…I salute you. That’s all I have to say here.

Overall Rating: B+. I went back and forth between B and B+ here. The thing is, even though the ending wound up meaning nothing, that can’t be factored into the grade of the show. The show was solid all around as feuds were settled, titles changed hands, and the big moments worked.

This is a solid show with some misses in there. Still, definitely very good and it felt like the biggest show of the year which it was. Dusty…go away. DEFINITELY see the I Quit. Other than that there isn’t much worth seeing individually but overall the card is well worth seeing.

Wrestlemania 1
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
National Anthem: Gene Okerlund

And so it begins. Wrestlemania is here. In what was perhaps the greatest cross promotional strategy of all time, the WWF teamed up with MTV to promote the biggest wrestling show of all time in what was called the Rock N Wrestling Connection. This idea was nothing short of genius and it truly got the war going with the NWA. Spearheaded by the feud between Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper, this show was all about fanfare. While little happened as far as historical significance, this show goes down in history as being great simply because of what it meant in history. Never before had mainstream celebrities been mixed with wrestling on such a vast scale. Obviously the results were great and Wrestlemania was born.

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

Anyway, let’s get going with the show. To begin with, in the first match in the history of Wrestlemania, we see Tito Santana vs. The Executioner, portrayed by Buddy “Blow Away” Rose. Before the match we get a pre-recorded interview (which I believe all of them are tonight) from the Executioner saying that he’s going after Santana’s leg which was already injured. The match is pretty much what you would expect for an 80s WWF match. Very standard stuff that’s by no means bad, but not really great either. Tito is at his best here against a random heel, and he wins in standard fashion with a forearm and the figure four.

Rating: C. Considering it’s the first ever match at the biggest show that would ever exist, I didn’t know what to expect. It’s certainly not bad, but doesn’t really set a good first foot forward for Wrestlemania if that makes sense. This is more famous for simply being the first match in the history of the biggest wrestling series ever, but it wasn’t anything special at all.

King Kong Bundy vs. Special Delivery Jones

The next match is I believe still the shortest in Wrestlemania history as King Kong Bundy faces Special Delivery Jones. More prerecorded comments with Bundy saying he’s mad about something or other. In less than 25 seconds, Bundy hits a pair of splashes to pin Jones. This match was the epitome of a squash match. No rating of course.

“Maniac” Matt Borne says this is his chance to beat one of the best wrestlers in the world. Steamboat is too nice of a guy which will be his downfall.

Steamboat says this is a big test for him. Wow he must have a bad memory if this is his biggest challenge.

Matt Borne vs. Ricky Steamboat

Now we get onto a solid match with the always dependable Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne, who is far more famous as heel Doink. Jesse is ROCKING that pink tuxedo. Not a lot of people can get away with that big Jesse is making it work for me. What was up with the five bells after everyone’s name? Steamboat is in the basic white tights which is odd to see indeed.

Feeling out process to start. Why can’t it ever be a feeling up process? Steamboat chops away and we get a chinlock seconds in. That’s not something you see everyday. I miss hearing Jesse call Gorilla Gino. A long atomic drop has Borne in trouble but he gets one of his own to avoid us hitting squash territory.

Ok perhaps you should forget the lack of a squash here as it’s almost all Steamboat here. At least the right guy is doing the squashing. Borne gets a suplex for two as even Gorilla says this isn’t going to work. He throws left handed punches and Gorilla concludes that he is in fact left handed.

We’re getting a lot of suplexes in this. Swinging neckbreaker by the Dragon gets no cover. A knee drop gets two. Steamboat speeds things up all of a sudden and there’s the flying cross body and I think you know what that means as this is 1985. Yep it’s over.

Rating: C-. Glorified squash match here with nothing special happening at all for the most part. Steamboat is always fun to see and this was no exception here. He would get a bit higher on the card in coming years before getting his lone world title in 1989. Borne would bounce around various companies before dancing with bear cubs in WCW and becoming a clown in WWF. Nice way to see different career paths.

David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake

Now we go on to what was little more than a reason to have the managers brawl at ringside, we have David Sammartino against Brutus Beefcake. Davide is accompanied by his father and Johnny Valiant for Beefcake. Big stall to start which is filled in by Gorilla talking about how great the crowd is, and for the time it really was. Finally we get going and Jesse cracks me up by saying that a loss for either man here could set their careers back 2 years.

That’s nothing but priceless. Anyway, we have a nice little wrestling sequence to start with Beefcake stalling again after sliding to the floor. We’re almost 5 minutes in and nothing at all of interest has happened yet. They’re trying to do a technical match and it’s just failure. I’m quite bored as I watch this match and it’s not getting any better.

I feel like I’m watching a house show match, but not the good kind. I feel like I’m watching a house show match that makes jobbers look good. Even the commentators sound bored here, yet for some reason the crowd is into this. FINALLY we get the managers involved and it’s a huge brawl for the double DQ.

Rating: D-. I was so bored I almost fell asleep. Absolutely nothing at all of note and it was just done to get Bruno on the show. David had a lot to live up to and for the most part he never came close which is the case for the vast majority of the kids of major stars. If nothing else look at David Flair. This was a very bad match though as Beefcake was the top guy in the ring which sums up things rather well.

JYD says he’ll win.

Valentine says he’ll win.

IC Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

No intro for Valentine as he’s just in the ring. That was far more common back then. It’s hard to imagine that the title is less than six years old at this point. Another One Bites The Dust by Queen brings Dog to the ring. I prefer Grab Them Cakes but that’s just me.

Valentine was awesome at this point and Gorilla says he might be the best IC Champion of all time at this point and I can’t really put up that much of an argument against that. He would lose the title to Santana soon after this who would lose it to Savage before Mania II. Dog is more or less the challenger of the month at this point and was very popular as well. Why he was popular is beyond me as he tends to be annoying but what do I know?

Naturally the Dog dominates to start with punches and headbutts. Valentine misses a punch and Dog gets on all fours with the heabutts. That’s about the biggest offensive move he’s going to have so I wouldn’t expect much more than that from him. We hear about Jimmy Hart’s stable which has Jim Neidhart but no Bret. It’s so weird to hear about Neidhart being a singles guy.

Valentine goes for the leg. He used the Figure Four as his finisher at this point which apparently he has patented. Did he file for the paperwork for it? Does he get royalties whenever Flair uses it? Dang no wonder he’s broke. Jesse says Valentine has no bones about this. I love bad puns.

Figure Four is kicked off which is the traditional counter of course. They slug it out and surprisingly enough Dog loses. Ok never mind he doesn’t but he was for a few seconds there. Jesse says a Dog headbutt would drop an oak tree. No see you make the tree watch one of his matches and it’ll fall asleep. That is how you drop an oak tree if JYD has to be involved.

Dog goes after Jimmy but Valentine accidentally pops his own manager. Here comes the Dog with his variety pack of punches and headbutts. Valentine cheats to get the pin with his feet on the ropes and apparently gets away with it. Tito runs out to tell the referee what happened so the match is restarted. Why can’t more people do that if they can get away with it? Valentine takes a walk anyway just because he can I guess. No title change thank goodness.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match here with Valentine dominating for the most part. It went by rather fast though which helped a good bit. I can’t stand the Dog but Valentine is pretty good. This of course set up more of Valentine vs. Santana which helps a lot as at least we got a good feud and eventual title change out of it in a solid cage match between them.

On a side note, the old IC Title looks far better than the one they would replace it with. It’s kind of like the NWA US Title which I’ve always been a fan of. Decent match but really just a placeholder for the most part. Granted though they had no idea what they were doing here so it’s ok I guess.

Next up we have a match that I’ve always kind of liked. For the WWF Tag Team Titles, Nikolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik against the US Express of Mika Rotunda and Barry Windham, who at the show came out to a song called Real American. Upon further review, this match is still pretty good and likely the best match of the night so far.

There’s not much to it but there doesn’t need to be. It’s America vs. foreigners, which is a formula that absolutely never fails. Rotunda plays a great face in peril here as he tries to out wrestle the monsters on the other team. There’s not a lot to this match but what they have is just fine. Big hot tag to Windham who cleans house, which leads to a big brawl. Blassie hands Sheik his cane which is smashed over Windham for a pinfall and a title change.

Rating: B-. Not much here, but what they had was at least passable. It was the standard U.S. versus the evil heels which is a formula that’s hard to mess up if anyone in the match knows what they’re doing, and these people knew. The titles would change back just a few weeks later so this was to do nothing more than get a title change on the card to make it seem historic. Keep in mind that this was still in the era when title reigns were usually longer so this meant a lot more.

Body Slam Match: Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd

It is now time for the first of two famous matches from this card as Andre the Giant faces off with Big John Studd in a $15,000 vs. retirement match. Studd had put out a challenge saying that no one could body slam him, and no one could. Then a man named Andre took him up on the challenge, and this right here is the result of that challenge. Andre controls early on but eventually Studd evens things out.

The crowd is off the hook for this match behind Andre to say the least. This is really just a lot of bearhugs and big punches/forearms for about ten minutes but the crowd eats it up. Andre just goes off on the knee and then slams Studd like it’s nothing at all. He gets the money and throws the money to the crowd, prompting Heenan to steal it and run off.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was awful, but the crowd was going crazy the whole time. Classic example of a match where the crowd played a key factor. Andre was getting to the point here where he couldn’t do much. These giant vs. giant matchups were rarely good but this worked as the whole idea was to just have Andre FINALLY end the “you can’t slam me” angle which he had done about a dozen times on house shows but this was the official one.

Women’s Title: Wendi Richter vs. Lelani Kai

In the penultimate match of the night, we get the first of the Rock N Wrestling matches with the Women’s Title on the line with Wendi Richter against Lelani Kai for the Women’s Title. At the time, Richter was the second biggest face in the company, often main eventing house shows when Hogan was elsewhere. Cyndi Lauper being in her corner didn’t hurt her at all as Lauper got into this.

In a scene that for some reason is now famous, Lauper and Richter run down the aisle in the back of the arena as the crowd is going crazy over this. For one of the only times ever in wrestling, the celebrity manager clearly wants to be doing this. This match is standard back and forth stuff with the young Richter clearly being the one that’s going to win or MSG might have been burned down. Finally Richter reverses a cross body to get the pin and the title as the fans are going insane.

Rating: B. This match was billed as half of the double main event. Think about that for just a bit. The Women’s Title match, main eventing Wrestlemania. If that doesn’t tell you how big Lauper and Richter were, nothing will. I never really got the appeal of Richter but at this time she was main eventing the B-level house shows over the IC Title or Tag Titles. Imagine going to a show today where the main event had Michelle McCool in it.

Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff

And now for the main event, we have Mr. T and Hulk Hogan against Piper and Orndorff with Muhammad Ali himself as the guest referee. Why this wasn’t Hogan against Piper one on one is beyond me. As usual, Piper has a live bagpipes band which is always cool. The fans aren’t really booing much because they know what’s coming. Real American was already taken so instead we hear Eye of the Tiger, or at least I think we do.

The eruption is so loud I’m not sure what I’m hearing. Your other referee is Pat Patterson. If you’ve seen one Hogan match you’ve seen them all for the most part and this is no exception. Hogan embarrasses his opponents to start and then gets beaten down with some cheating. Double teams throughout the match on both Hogan and T until finally we get the brawl we’ve all waited for. Bob Orton and Jimmy Snuka are the seconds here and they both get involved.

Finally Orton comes off with the cast to his Hogan but catches Orndorff instead as Hogan pins him. This prompts Piper to leave him in the ring, which led to Orndorff’s face turn. Hogan and T pose as we go off the air.

Rating: B. Basic tag match, but why was this a tag? It just made little sense and there was no drama to it at all. Hogan didn’t even win with the legdrop. Fun little match, but not for the main event of Mania. For the life of me I will never get why this wasn’t Hogan vs. Piper for the title, perhaps with Piper even defending and dropping it to Hogan. Very odd choice indeed but it worked very well for what it was supposed to be.

Overall rating: C-. This show clearly isn’t famous for the wrestling as there’s only 2-3 good matches on the card. What this show is famous for is the idea of a supercard in the biggest arena there was in the biggest city there was with celebrities, national coverage, and a huge main event. The idea was amazing but no one knew what they had here and it shows. For its time this was mind blowing. Now it’s just average at best. Watch it for the last three matches and skip the others.

So what do you think? Am I right or am I crazier than George Steele? Let me know and let’s hear your take.

Since it’s the first old school review I’m posting here I might as well make it an old school show.  Here you are.

The Wrestling Classic
Date: November 7, 1985
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 14,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

For the sake of reviewing every PPV in the 1980s, I present to you the Wrestling Classic. This is a tournament and that’s about it. There’s also a WWF Title match between Hogan and Piper. This is actually the first ever Pay Per View in WWF history as the first Wrestlemania was only shown on closed circuit. There’s only been one big thing since Mania, and that is the debut of one Randy Savage, who is probably the biggest star in this tournament.

It’s a big deal though as there’s never been a tournament like this before, so this is a completely new concept. The interesting thing is that there wasn’t another one televised until 1988, so take that for what it’s worth. With that, let’s get to it.

This is broadcast on something called Wrestlevision. That’s a new one on me. There’s also a contest where some fan is going to win a Rolls Royce. Vince is your host here, talking to Alfred Hayes and some chick that I’ve never heard of before named Susan. They go over the brackets, which look like this:

Adrian Adonis
Corporal Kirchner

Dynamite Kid
Nikolai Volkoff

Ivan Putski
Randy Savage

Davey Boy Smith
Ricky Steamboat

Iron Sheik
Junkyard Dog

Terry Funk
Moondog Spot

Don Muraco
Tito Santana

Paul Orndorff
Bob Orton Jr.

This is either going to be really interesting or complete and utter crap. I’m not sure which. Steamboat vs. Smith sounds awesome, as does Santana vs. Muraco. We get some highlights of the drawing, which is really kind of pointless. Savage says Liz screwed it up though, continuing his being a jerk.

Gene is with Jack Tunney. Geez has he ever looked young? They go over the rules, which more or less is only the winners advance.

First Round: Adrian Adonis vs. Corporal Kirchner

Wow, so we have two guys that never really did anything of note in the company in the first round. Adonis is a much thinner guy here and a very straight biker. This has a ten minute time limit so I’m guessing there’s not going to be much to talk about. They say that Adonis has bulked up, which is a nice way of saying he’s rapidly becoming fat. In a very interesting thing, Gorilla says that Adonis and Ventura are former world tag team champions.

That’s very true, but they did it in the AWA and not the WWF. That’s most interesting. Jimmy is rocking a tiger striped jacket. You have to love the 80s. Adonis is actually a decent guy as far as technical stuff goes. We’re on our second rest hold in less than two minutes. Come on now guys. The ring sounds very metallic for some reason.

It did that for the only other Kirchner match I’ve ever seen too. The referee is wearing a white collared shirt and blue pants which just looks odd indeed. Kirchner goes for a suplex but Adonis hooks the leg and slams him down into what would later become known as the DDT. That looked really cool actually.

Rating: C-. These ratings are going to be really hard to do with such short matches. In a four minute match we had two rest holds and a cool looking finish. What else can I give it but not that awful? Something tells me I’ll be doing a lot of things like this today.

Adonis is with Gene, and says that he’s got class and charisma and will rewrite wrestling history. He wants to be Vince McMahon? His nickname is the Golden Boy. Ok then.

First Round: Dynamite Kid vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Holy international incident Batman! Volkoff is of course Russian and therefore evil. Dynamite even looks something like Benoit. That’s just flat out scary. Nikolai is oddly thin here. Only in the WWF would a USA chant start up for a match between a Russian wrestler against a British wrestler.

I’ve always wondered if that’s the real song or not. The bell rings during the song and allegedly in six seconds, Dynamite gets up top and hits a dropkick for the pin. I don’t think so but it was less than ten at most. Well the fans are awake now.

Rating: N/A. Although I’d take points off for the second half of the match. It just wasn’t that good.

Gene is with Savage and Liz. During the interview for some reason Fink is talking. I can’t make out what he’s saying though. Savage’s robe is actually tied which just looks odd on him. He admits he’s nervous. I’ve never heard him say something like that.

First Round: Ivan Putski vs. Randy Savage

Putski is a veteran kind of like Hardcore Holly I guess while Savage is the young guy that’s been destroying everyone in sight. Liz gets a huge pop of course, as the idea of a hot valet was born with her. The music sounds a bit odd too. Maybe it’s a different recording or something like that. Savage needs to let that robe hang open like he usually does. He looks like he’s wearing a bathrobe in an indy fed or something. Jesse says he’s been training Savage. Oh dear indeed.

Only Savage could make purple tights look tough. I’d like to know where this weird stigma of Savage being a power guy came from. He’s not a power guy and is average at his absolute best in that area. The basic idea here is Ivan is really, really strong. That’s about it. Hokey smoke Putski can’t do much. Ok the match is over at this point. In summation, Putski used a total of one slam of Randy’s face into the mat, 5 kicks in a row, and the rest was all punching.

In a terrible ending, Savage is getting destroyed in the corner and casually scoops the legs of Ivan out and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin. The stupid part: Putski acts dead. I mean he doesn’t move at all. It looks ridiculously stupid as he’s not even trying to get out. What was the point of that?

Rating: F. This was just pointless crap. Savage runs away for awhile, gets beaten up, and cheats to get a quick win? Who was supposed to be getting the push here? Somehow, Ivan is in the Hall of Fame and Savage isn’t. It’s like a sick joke or something. Does someone find this funny? Vince, even if he screwed your daughter, get over it.

Nikolai runs up to Vince and complains about being robbed. Amazingly I can understand his whole rant. Nikolai looks like he wants to kill Vince which is just amusing.

First Round: Ricky Steamboat vs. Davey Boy Smith

Smith is from Leeds. Rock on Becca. This should be completely awesome. They start with an excellent technical set that had me impressed. They slightly botch a bridge into a backslide, but come on now. That’s one of the hardest moves in the world to do right and it came off ok. I’m fine with that. Davey takes over with a gorilla press as Jesse thinks that Ricky is faster and Davey is stronger.

You have to love that top notch technical knowledge from the Body. Gorilla says he’s not sure on either count. To be fair, this was WAY before Davey became the super strong guy that he’s known as being. Here’s he’s not exactly a cruiserweight, but he’s not a monster either, so maybe there’s a little something to what they’re saying. That makes more sense than I thought it did. Steamboat actually busts out a delayed vertical suplex to steal Smith’s signature.

However, Davey goes for a dropkick with Steamboat against the ropes and misses. He lands weird and the referee stops it. I think that was at least somewhat legit as Davey looks like he’s in agony and is holding his crotch, so I’d be surprised if that was fake. Very good match in the time they had though.

Rating: A-. I want more of this. This is a great matchup as both guys wrestle a similar style but can mix it up when needed. This was easily the only match that I really wanted to see in the first round, and sadly it didn’t last long. Anyway, for what it was, this was excellent stuff. The more I think about it though the more I think that ending was a work. What other way could you end this given the way they were doing things? None that I can think of.

Gene is with JYD, who says that he’s very excited. He’s ok on the mic actually. If he wasn’t as bad of a wrestler as I can ever remember he would have been passable actually.

First Round: Junkyard Dog vs. Iron Sheik

I like JYD’s song. It’s just old school personified. Sheik jumps him as it’s still playing though, which in a bit of a comedic moment is how Sheik’s former partner lost earlier in the night. Sheik is freaking ripped. Somehow, Dog is more limited than Putski was earlier. He hits nothing but punches and headbutts. Eventually he goes down though and Sheik gets the clutch on him. Jesse says no one has ever gotten out of this.

You know, other than Hogan in the match that changed wrestling forever but that didn’t mean as much as this did of course. It’s also the sloppiest camel clutch this side of Sid Vicious. Dang it’s bad. Dog gets out of it kind of as Sheik argues with the referee. In an even dumber ending than before, a headbutt gets the pin. What? He used two of them before and didn’t even knock Sheik down but here that’s enough to get a clean pin? Come on now guys at least give us some consistency!

Why couldn’t one of these two have gotten hurt early? I hate booking like this. It’s more or less saying the lazier you are, the stronger you’ll get pushed. That’s great business wouldn’t you say?

Rating: F-. Where do I begin? Let’s see: the moves were limited and sloppy, the thing lasted three whole minutes which I’ll never get back, and the ending made zero sense. What kind of a grade did you expect here?

Gene is with Terry Funk who sounds as cool as anyone in history. He says he wants Orndorff because of the bounty on him, and then he wants to be world champion. This was around the time of his first retirement. Jimmy says he’s got a big surprise.

First Round: Terry Funk vs. Moondog Spot

Uh, yeah about the Moondogs. How in the world do I put this? More or less they were the Headshrinkers mixed with Mankind. They were the first sort of brawling tag team but they were completely insane. They would beat on people with bones and then chew on them. There was a big rotating cast of Moondogs, with Spot being I guess the most famous of them. They never really did much on the national scene but in Memphis they were considered a big deal.

To be fair though, they did win the WWF Tag Titles back in 1981 so there we are. If nothing else, he has a beard that Santa Claus would be proud of. Anyway, this is another 15 second match as Funk says that neither of them wants to wrestle the other so they should both just go to the floor and have a draw.

Well that’s different if nothing else. Naturally there’s double cross as Funk tries to get back in. After a mix up though, Spot gets back in and advances. Funk beats him down anyway, but whatever. This was a pretty big upset actually.

Rating: C. This would usually be N/A, but since I’ve never seen something like that before, we’ll call it good. That was actually creative booking which I never get tired of seeing.

Gene is with Fuji and Muraco. Fuji says Muraco will beat Santana. Why does it take him 15 seconds to say that?

First Round: Tito Santana vs. Don Muraco

Tito is IC Champion here, yet he doesn’t get an introduction? That makes a lot of sense. These two had some great matches for the IC belt awhile back. Gorilla and Jesse debate the wisdom of a champion being in the tournament which is a valid point. Santana really is underrated in the ring. I defy you to find a truly bad Santana match where he wasn’t getting squashed. This is just a great old school style of a match here in all its 80s greatness.

They work a very different style than what you would see on TV today but it was great stuff. A lot of the time the more basic you go the better your stuff will be. That’s what should be on Tito’s tombstone as it was how his whole career went. In an ending that I really like, Muraco hits a powerslam for the three, but Santana’s foot is over the rope. Muraco is celebrating and walks into a small package for the real pin. I really like that.

It makes Muraco looks fairly strong as he actually got Santana down for three while at the same time it keeps Santana from looking weak because while he was pinned, it wasn’t legal. Again, creative booking makes things that otherwise would be bad much better. Fun match.

Rating: B. While they only had four minutes, they were a good four minutes. See, you can have matches like JYD and Sheik that are short and suck, and then you can have matches like this that was short and good. These two went out there and went hard for a few minutes and had a fun match. That’s how it’s done guys. Take notes. Santana really was a master in the ring and Muraco was no slouch either.

Heenan is with Gene and says that even though none of the Heenan Family is in the tournament, don’t forget about them. This was around the time where Heenan had a bounty on the head of Paul Orndorff of 50,000 dollar to whoever could take him out. It was never claimed as Orndorff turned heel again, despite saying Heenan wrecked his career. Yeah I don’t care either. Paul was just boring for the most part, but when he was a heel, he was a pretty sweet one.

First Round: Bob Orton Jr. vs. Paul Orndorff

This is the final first round match, so if nothing else we can move on to some more interesting stuff, at least in theory. Orton has a sore arm apparently. Doesn’t look serious though so he should be fine soon. The main idea here is that Orton wants the bounty. The arm has been injured about 8 months already and I think it still would be at Mania 3. For a little reference, this is about six months before Mania 2.

In a wise move, Orndorff works on the arm. Well at least he’s smart about it. In a freaking sick looking move, Paul (way too annoying to have to keep typing his last name) hooks his feet around the arm of Orton and more or less uses an Indian Deathlock on it. That looked awesome. There’s your heel comeback but I’m distracted by the hotness of Mickie James on Smackdown.

Ok I’m back now. How did two hours pass in between there??? And why am I all sticky? When did I go to Arby’s??? Oh well at least it tastes good. Orton is the bodyguard of Piper at this point so he’s being constantly called the bodyguard of Piper. He really was technically sound if nothing else so there we are. This is actually a pretty good match just like the previous one. These are two guys that can work a decent match when they have to.

Paul was a good wrestler but a horrible character if that makes sense. He was just so bland. Think about it: name one time where he was interesting other than Hogan. See what I mean? In another kind of dumb ending, a cast shot gets the DQ for Paul. Well, that’s one way to do it I guess. This wound up becoming part of a bigger feud involving Piper and Muraco that would eventually result in Piper’s great heel work turning Orndorff heel again in about a year or less.

Rating: B-. Again, this is a solid example of how you make a decent match. Now to be fair they had a lot more time here than anyone else has had (seven minutes which still isn’t much at all) and they made the most of it. There was a story here or at least something looking like one. Both guys worked fairly hard and while the ending sucked, not much else did. That’s how it’s done again.

In a BIZARRE moment, we go back to the big board where Hayes is more or less groping the girl. She’s kind of laughing, but it just looks strange. Vince stops him as for some reason that comes off as hilarious to me. They go over the brackets, which look like this:

Adrian Adonis
Dynamite Kid

Randy Savage
Ricky Steamboat

Junkyard Dog
Moondog Spot

Tito Santana
Paul Orndorff

Well at least we’re getting closer to this being manageable. The problem here is that the card is too crowded. The second round has 15 minute time limits, which should have been all we had for the whole card. By having only 8 guys you could have had a far longer set of matches and maybe some other non tournament stuff on the card.

Granted they had no way of knowing that though so I’ll let that slide. At the end of this interview segment, Funk runs up saying he was robbed! The girl hasn’t said a word this whole show. Funk says he can beat everyone in the company.

Second Round: Adrian Adonis vs. Dynamite Kid

Remember, we have 15 minutes now so Dynamite can go for 9 seconds here. I like that they mention who the wrestlers beat. It’s a nice little touch that isn’t hard at all to throw in there. Dynamite starts off hot here but then we move into a far slower pace that’s just not great. Jesse actually leaves halfway through this, saying he has to talk to Savage about his match with Steamboat. Well that was weird. Amazingly Gorilla isn’t bad on the mic by himself.

However, this match is pretty bad. It’s Adrian dominating for the most part which means he’s trying to catch Randy Orton for most chinlocks. Why would you have a guy that can go like Dynamite down on the mat for the majority of the match? That’s just bad booking. Adrian puts on a Sharpshooter which makes my eyes get very big. I didn’t think that was something that was even known in this country at that time.

After clearly calling a spot to Dynamite, Adonis gets reversed. However, instead of actually having something interesting happen like Dynamite being in control, it’s right back to the same stuff we’ve been doing all match. Yep that’s just BRILLIANT guys. Ah there we go.

Dynamite Benoit picks things up and if nothing else we’re not just laying around doing nothing. Benoit…I mean Dynamite hits a diving headbutt but Hart messes up the pin. Adrian is shoved into him, resulting in the pin. Dynamite might hurt his knee here but it’s hard to tell. He’s limping a bit but he’s walking so there we are. Adonis has a Jericho and Christian level fit after losing.

Rating: C-. This was a tale of two grades here. When Adrian was in control, I was hoping he would start skipping around the ring in pink as it would have at least been funny. This was just flat out boring. However, when Dynamite was in control, it was very interesting. You can see so much of him in Benoit and that’s a very high compliment in my mind.

Jesse is with Gene and says that he’s got Savage ready. Naturally Jesse says that he’ll remain unbiased the whole time. Gene says that he never stays unbiased but Jesse is cut off and we’re back in the arena for this.

Second Round: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

OH YES! Now this literally has to be good. Steamboat gets no introduction and Savage gets a full one. Well ok then. Savage has changed to a sleeveless vest kind of thing which works much better. The hiding behind Liz was about as great of a heel move as there ever has been. Naturally he jumps Steamboat and we’re ready to go now.

Gorilla is still on his own here. Now we’re getting some standard great stuff from Savage so all is right with the world now. These two are a couple of guys that you can just throw out there and tell them to go and you’ll always get a great one. These two could just move so fast out there that it was almost unreal. Jesse is back now. FINALLY we get a counter from the top that looks normal as Steamboat gets a punch to the ribs to stop a double axehandle.

Thank you as I get so tired of the spot where someone jumps into a waiting boot from a guy on the ground, but it’s so painfully clear that the guy wasn’t going for a move at all but just to jump into the boot. What are we supposed to believe he’s trying in that situation anyway? Whatever. Steamboat gets the cross body but Savage kicks out with more or less ease.

In the EXACT same finish that Savage would use to win the IC Title from Santana shortly after this, Savage gets a foreign object from his tights and nails Steamboat with it as he’s getting belly to backed into the ring. Man there were a lot of midcard guys whose last names started with S.

I love how brass knuckles, which I believe are considered a lethal weapon, are apparently as common as apples in wrestling. Anyway, Gorilla says he thinks Jesse might have given them to Savage. That’s very interesting so of course nothing ever really came of it.

Rating: B. Well, they went on to have one of the best matches if not the best match of all time in about 18 months, so there’s nothing they can really do to live up to that. This however was fine I guess, with these two always being great together. This was just thrown together but it’s still one of the best matches of the night. There’s a reason that can happen: it’s called talent. It’s a shame more people don’t have it.

Gene is with Moondog Spot, who is chewing on a bone. He can’t actually talk thought so there we go.

Second Round: Moondog Spot vs. Junkyard Dog

NO YOU IDIOTS DON’T ENCOURAGE DOG! That’s just evil. Why does someone with such great music have to suck so much? WOW. Ok, so this is what happens here: Spot jumps him and misses a splash. Dog hits some headbutts because he doesn’t know how to do anything else, and then we notice something: there’s no referee here.

That’s odd indeed, but I’m sure one will be there soon. Dog hits the big headbutt and actually COUNTS HIS OWN PIN. Now usually this would mean nothing, but of course since it’s JYD it stands. Yes, JYD counts his own pin and it is enough to get him to the semi finals. When the referees don’t care enough about you to even be at ringside, that’s saying a lot.

Rating: N/A. I don’t even think a match happened so of course there’s no grade.

Gene is with Bobby…again, who says nothing of note.

Second Round: Paul Orndorff vs. Tito Santana

After a handshake, Jesse gets into his Tiajuana routine which really is borderline racist. Gorilla bails him out with the great line of Tito being Intercontinental Champion of the World. Tito’s leg is taped here which wasn’t the case in the first match. This starts with a very technical style that works to an extent. Naturally the fans think it’s a bit boring but what do they know? For some reason Jesse makes his second Watergate reference of the night.

It was ten years ago at least at this point but whatever. Tito’s leg is hurt even worse here, and the more I see of it the more I’m sure it’s kayfabe. Again, that’s more creative booking. They needed to have something different for every match I guess so there we are. This is a very technical style that I think I like a lot here. These guys are flowing pretty well out there and that’s all I ask for. We hit the floor and they hammer away and yep it’s a double count out.

What’s the deal with the cheap endings tonight? I guess you can’t put either over here due to their respective pushes but whatever. Jesse called that they would wind up acting heelish and to an extent he’s right. Of course Gorilla won’t admit it but that’s standard operating procedure.

Rating: C+. This was ok but not great at all. The problem was that two faces like this have a hard time having a solid match because you can’t damage either character by having them act evil. The technical stuff was a little boring but not bad at all. They could have done a great match with Paul as a heel and more time, but that’s the nature of the beasts known as tournament matches.

Back to Vince and Alfred and what’s her name for another recap. The final three are like this:

Dynamite Kid
Randy Savage

Junkyard Dog

Alfred says this is the most exciting thing he’s ever seen in wrestling. Was he not at Mania I’m assuming? You knew there was going to be a bye, but this means MORE JYD, so screw it all to. And what does that girl’s voice sound like???

Piper comes out with his bagpipe players which are always cool.

Gene is with Hulk who says that he’s ready. Halfway through this we get a graphic reminding us that he’s world champion. Well that’s good to know. Also his shirt says American Made, and man it that was a good song!

WWF Title: Roddy Piper vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan, in white tights, is jumped by Piper during the music. This is more or less a token title defense here as it’s pretty much fallout (8 months later) from Mania. It’s of course a brawl from the start as nothing else would work for these two I guess. This reminds me of a UK game as it’s blue and white. That automatically makes this awesome. Hogan is dominating early so all is right with the world.

The referee stops a punch though, allowing Piper to punch Hogan. God bless sensible officiating. In something you don’t see often from Hogan, he uses a bearhug. His weight and size was rarely talked about as he was always against monsters, but he was bigger than about 90% of wrestlers ever. That’s saying a lot. This is about as standard as you can get as I feel like I’m watching a house show.

The sleeper is the submission hold of choice here and there’s the arm popping up on the third try. In a cool spot, Hogan runs at the ropes and dives over to break the hold. Yes you read that right, Hogan jumped. I’ll give you a minute to recover from that. Uh oh we have a ref bump. Piper drills him with a chair and of course being hit by a professional athlete with a large and heavy object made of steel isn’t enough to hurt Hogan at all.

Hogan gets Piper in a sleeper (yes you read that right) but Orton runs in for the DQ in another cheap finish. Orndorff makes the save. Gorilla says that Orton was effective. How? He caused his man to get a DQ and therefore it’s the same result as him getting pinned, but then again what do I know?

Rating: C-. This was generic, but then again it wasn’t bad at all. These two had a great chemistry together as there’s such a perfect natural rivalry that you can’t plan or script here. I always wanted for Piper to win the title, even for a month or two. Can you imagine the money that the rematches would draw? Heck that would have been FAR better as the main event of Mania 2. Anyway, this wasn’t bad or great, but it was more bad than good because of the ending.

Gene is with JYD who says he’s worked hard for this. I’m not even wasting a rant on that piece of garbage. Jimmy Hart runs in and yells at Dog about a bad angle that they did regarding Jimmy’s underwear. Don’t ask.

Semi-Finals: Randy Savage vs. Dynamite Kid

Oh man that sounds really good. Again with the fifteen minutes though. There’s two matches left so they’re cutting it to fifteen minutes. That’s just brilliant isn’t it? They’re in different outfits again which they would do much better in 1988 at Mania 4. Savage is all patriotic in red, white and blue. Savage shows off his muscles which isn’t something that you see that often. Gorilla makes fun of his name and Jesse shuts him up by calling him Orangutan Monsoon. That was just funny.

This just looks awesome. Imagine Benoit against Savage and that’s what you’ve got here. In another great line, Gorilla asks what the point of having Liz out there is. Jesse says look at her and if you can’t figure it out you’re on your own. Jesse and Gorilla are just flat out greatness together. I really do see Benoit when I look at Dynamite. They’re that similar, even down to their muscle masses.

Considering the greatness of Hogan at the top and with great wrestlers like these two and Santana and Steamboat, how in the world could the WWF lose? In short, they simply weren’t going to for a good while. In a GREAT ending, Savage goes up to the top but gets crotched after an amazing dropkick. A perfect top rope superplex puts Savage down but he manages to hook his legs up with Dynamite’s for the pin. AWESOME ending.

Rating: A. Five freaking minutes for this? That’s ALL? I would pay to see more of these two as this was just great stuff. Screw the A-, as more time would make this an A+. Anyone that says neither of these guys were good in the ring, watch this match and if you still say that I’ll smack you with a halibut. That was a great ending and a great match.

We go to Vince and Susan for the Rolls Royce thing. SHE SPOKE! She said all of 20 words in about 2 minutes but she spoke! She did get a tiny jab in by saying she wishes she were in the car right now so there we go. I like her.

In the ring we have the Fink and four guys. Each of them say something.

Tunney says this is a big sweepstakes. He has a fat face.

Some guy named Basil says a lot of people voted.

We hear from the guy that handled the entries. REALLY? You let this guy talk but you couldn’t give freaking DYNAMITE KID AND RANDY FREAKING SAVAGE TWO MORE MINUTES??? Instead we hear a speech about how they freaking picked the entries? Oh give me a break.

We get commentary from Fink that is as follows: He’s giving the envelope to Alfred Hayes to open. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET ON WITH IT! Can’t you just flash the guy’s name on the screen and give the two great wrestlers more time? Nope, we have to give this time to people that we’re never going to hear or see again and that we don’t care about.

After we get a small glitch of hearing Gorilla when we weren’t supposed to, the guy that won is booed out of the freaking building. I mean it was BAD. We actually spent five minutes on that. I hate wrestling.

Gene is with Hogan who is wearing white tights. In the background we hear Fink announcing a return date. Hogan challenges Orton and Piper to a tag match with Orndorff. They say they have a little surprise, which would be Mr. T being back again for Mania 2.

Wrestling Classic Final: Junkyard Dog vs. Randy Savage

Savage is in freaking tye dye and limping badly. Please, make this one quick. Why is a black man from the south wearing chains? Does anyone else find that a bit stupid? Also, what kind of song is Grab Them Cakes? What cakes? I want some cake. Savage immediately gets a chair. I guess he can’t stay awake through the awfulness of a JYD match even if he’s in it. Savage throws it at him and Dog rams himself in the head with it. I already hate this match.

This is already painfully bad. For some reason Gene joins up on commentary. Was he just wandering around and happened to walk up there? Was he offered a plate of cookies or maybe some Rogaine? He can’t even sell a clothesline right. How hard could that possibly be? It’s a freaking clothesline. YOU FALL DOWN! Jesse is upset because JYD had a break. No Jesse, that’s called he has no talent.

In yet another great line, Jesse says that Okerlund has never done anything athletic in life other than tie his shoes and now he’s wearing Velcro’s. That’s just brilliant. Savage is dominating here. Dang it there’s the comeback. I hate this match deeply. No correction, I hate JYD. Savage gets thrown to the floor…and gets counted out. I’ll be right back.

WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU GIVE THIS TO THE DOG??? SAVAGE WAS THE HOTTEST FREAKING THING IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW AND YOU GIVE IT TO AN OVERRATED HACK LIKE J FREAKING Y D? WHY IN THE FREAKING WORLD WOULD YOU THINK THAT’S A GOOD IDEA??? I mean it makes NO sense. Savage is a freaking god in the ring and this fat waste of air gets it.

He wins one match with a bad headbutt, then counts another pin on his own, then gets a bye and wins a tournament on a count out??? COME ON. That comes off as one thing: he’s not good enough to wrestle more than one legit match. I’m ticked off over something that happened 25 years ago. That’s sad. Jesse runs in for a protest that gets him nowhere.

Rating: D-. This was just a bad match and the booking is beyond ridiculous. I’m ticked off and Savage got FREAKING ROBBED! Jesse is as right as possible.

Vince and Alfred wrap us up and we’re out. I will never get used to seeing credits on a wrestling show, and the closing theme is the same as to Hulk Hogan’s Rocking Wrestlers, which gets it some bonus points that it desperately needs.

Overall Rating: D. This show was bad, plain and simple. There’s some ok matches, but the booking was dumb, the majority of the matches sucked and there were far too many short matches/nonsense endings. It should have been 8 men with longer matches. That’s still 8 matches on the card and they would have been longer and much better.

Also, Savage should have won, end of story. JYD went on to a stupid tag match at Mania while Savage won the IC belt and held it for over a year. See what I mean here? Anyway, this show was bad and shouldn’t be viewed. That’s why I’m here I guess.