Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7, 1986
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York/Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois/Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,585 (New York), 9,000 (Chicago), 14,500 (Los Angeles), 40,085 (Total)
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Susan St. James, Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Cathy Lee Crosby, Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Elvira

This is one of those ideas that they tried once and only once before never thinking about doing it again. After the success of Wrestlemania, the idea was that Wrestlemania 2 had to be bigger, so Vince came up with the idea of splitting it into three cities. This show is widely considered to be one of if not the worst Wrestlemania of all time and with main events such as Piper vs. Mr. T. in a boxing match and Hogan vs. Bundy in a cage it’s not hard to see why. Let’s get to it.

This is on a Monday for some reason.

This was a tape I watched to death back when I was a kid so the theme music for this brings a smile to my face.

Vince opens things up in New York and introduces Susan St. James, a popular actress of the day, to be his co-commentator.

Ray Charles sings America the Beautiful.

Gene is in Chicago and welcomes us to the city for later on.

Roddy Piper and his trainer for the fight Lou Duva (famous boxing trainer) say Piper is ready. Piper promises to quit wrestling and boxing if he gets knocked out. He’ll also quick playing tiddlywinks and dating girls, but he’ll stick with Bob Orton of course. Those two spent WAY too much time together.

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

This is fallout from the main event of Mania last year as Orndorff turned face due to Piper and Orton leaving him behind. Muraco is an associate of Piper so this is kind of a proxy feud for Paul. Muraco has Fuji with him too. Both guys say they’ll win in a voiceover as the match starts. Paul slams Muraco down to start and the crowd is already hot. Orndorff makes a slant eyes face at Fuji which today would get him thrown out of the company. In 1986, he was making $20,000 a week later in the year. It’s funny how times change.

Paul takes him down to the mat with an armbar as Susan St. James clearly has no idea what’s going on. She’s trying but this isn’t something she knows about at all it would seem. Paul cranks on a wristlock before going back down to the armbar. Susan: “He looks like he’s using some ancient Chinese techniques”. Uh…yeah. Muraco finally escapes and sends Paul into the corner, only to have Orndorff go off on him as they brawl to the floor. In something you won’t ever hear again I don’t think, the opening match of Wrestlemania goes to a double countout. The fans chant some expletives.

Rating: D. What do you want here? The match is four minutes long and ends in a double countout. It was hot while it lasted, but the problem is that it didn’t last long enough at all. This was a pretty big feud and it gets a four minute match? That’s all they can spare these guys? Orndorff would have a MEGA heel turn later in the summer which would eventually draw 74,000 people to an outdoor show in Toronto. That’s some drawing power.

Mr. T. says he doesn’t like to do a lot of talking before a fight before proceeding to talk more in 30 seconds than Goldberg said in his entire career. To show you the production values, he’s drowned out by Fink announcing the results of the previous match.

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

This was a pretty big feud that also wound up meaning a lot more the next year than it does here. The basic idea is that George is in love with Liz and doesn’t like how Savage treats her. There’s a great angle right there that hasn’t been used in a LONG time (Punk/AJ/Bryan isn’t the same thing). Savage in an inset interview babbles as only Savage can without saying anything of note.

Steele does a freaky kind of dance and Savage immediately bails to the floor. That works so well that they do it again and make it three times until FINALLY George chases after him. Steele catches Savage going back in and bites his calf before they head back in. Randy hits a running knee to the chest but Steele easily lifts him into the air and chokes him down. George gets caught looking at Liz though and is tied up in the ropes so Savage pounds away.

A top rope cross body gets two for the champ (Savage in case you’re really young) and Steele throws him to the floor. Randy slips under the ring and sneaks up on George, only to get bitten on the arm. Savage goes to the floor and finds….a bouquet of flowers? George shoves them into Randy’s face before going to eat a turnbuckle (don’t ask).

The stuffing goes into Savage’s face but Steele AGAIN gets distracted by Liz, allowing Savage to hit the ax handle to the back. Back in and Savage hits the slam and elbow for two. Wait what? This is 1986 and the SAVAGE ELBOW only gets two? Steele grabs Savage by the face and sends him into the corner, only to get tripped up and pinned with the feet on the ropes to retain the title.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where your individual taste is going to vary a lot. On one hand, it’s a comedy match but not an incredibly funny one, while on the other hand it’s terrible from a wrestling perspective. On the other hand, you have three hands and should see a surgeon immediately. The point is this wasn’t much of a match and never would have made it onto a modern Mania card. Of course it wouldn’t; the Intercontinental Title doesn’t exist around Wrestlemania time. Also, of all the people in the WWF, GEORGE STEELE gets to kick out of the elbow? REALLY? This was fun for the goofiness if nothing else.

Savage and Liz immediately bail so Steele eats another buckle.

Bill Fralic (a football player) and Big John Studd are both in a battle royal later today and they talk some trash, once again being drowned out by Fink.

Vince asks Susan if she likes snakes. Make your own jokes.

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Wells is a former football player who never did another thing of note in wrestling other than be in this match. Jake is brand new at this point and is promptly run over and backdropped down in the first ten seconds. A flying shoulder takes Jake down and there’s a headbutt for good measure. Wells hits a decent flying headscissors followed by a slam for no cover. A knee lift has Jake draped in the ropes and a powerslam gets two. Roberts comes back with a poke to the eyes and a knee lift followed by the DDT for the fast pin. This was pretty much domination until the last ten seconds.

Jake wraps George up in the snake post match and makes Wells foam at the mouth.

We recap Piper vs. T which is allegedly based on a boxing match that happened in Phoenix, as apparently we’re ignoring ALL of the stuff from last year that set up the first Wrestlemania.

Hogan predicts T to win and says his ribs will be fine in the cage tonight.

We introduce the “celebrities.” First up is Joan Rivers as guest ring announcer, Darryl Dawkins, Cab Calloway and G. Gordon Liddy as guest judges and Herb from Burger King commercials (you won’t remember him) is guest timekeeper.

Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T.

This is a boxing match with ten three minute rounds. T has Joe Frazier as his trainer and the Haiti Kid to counter Orton. Piper is the aggressor to start as Vince calls T’s defensive stance a peek-a-boo style. Roddy grabs on the ropes and T fires away some body shots. These rounds might only be two minutes rounds. Piper takes him into the corner but T bobs and weaves before popping Roddy in the face a few times. It turns into another brawl on the ropes for the last thirty seconds or so of the round.

Everyone comes in to break up the brawl and we take a break between rounds. T gets in a few shots to the face to open round 2 but Piper apparently has a bunch of goo on his face. There’s an Orton/Piper joke in there somewhere. After the face gets cleaned off Piper starts pounding away and T is in trouble. I’ll change the numbers again because the rounds are indeed three minutes long. Piper gets him into the corner and pounds away, dropping him with a pair of shots to the head after about seven shots that missed BADLY. That gets an eight count and round 2 ends with T going down just after the bell.

Piper gets in a few cheap shots after the bell because that’s the kind of guy he is. We start round 3 with T firing away but they’re clearly getting tired. Piper goes down in his corner but pulls himself up before the count. T pounds him right back down in the corner and this time gets a seven count. This turns into move of a shoving match until T gets in a right hand to knock Piper out of the ring and out to the floor. Round 3 ends with nothing of note going on.

T talks trash in between rounds so Piper throws his stool across the ring as round 4 begins. They slug it out with T finally taking over. Piper DRILLS him with a right hand that knocks T’s mouthpiece out. T comes back with the same kind of a punch….and then Piper shoves the referee down and slams T for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was one of those things that everyone knew was going to be a disaster and the best chance they had was to make it goofy. Thankfully we’re talking about Roddy Piper in the 80s so you know he can bring the goofy. There were some decent punches in here but like all other wrestling boxing matches, you knew it would end with some sort of a DQ. This was pretty much it for Mr. T in the WWF other than a few cameos later on.

Off to Chicago!

Gene and Gorilla bring in Kathy Lee Crosby to do commentary.

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Moolah is defending of course and hits about five hair mares in a row to start things off. Velvet comes back with some one footed dropkicks before going up and missing a splash for Moolah to get the pin. This barely lasted 90 seconds which may have been due to McIntyre’s outfit breaking when she came off the ropes.

Corporal Kirchner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

This is a flag match which means a regular match where the winner gets to wave their flag. For some reason the ring is VERY loud all of a sudden. Kirchner is a guy you likely won’t have heard of but he’s famous for being VERY stiff which is why he wasn’t around long. Blassie is with Nikolai here and his man hits a spinning kick to start.

We head to the floor where Volkoff rams him into the post and cuts the Corporal open with a piece of razor that he immediately puts back down into his trunks. Blassie yells at Kirchner a bit before they head back inside. It’s a slugout but Blassie throws in his cane which goes upside Nikolai’s head for the pin. This was another very short match.

Gene takes over the ring announcing for the NFL/WWF battle royal. There are six football players and fourteen wrestlers. Dick Butkus is a guest referee.

Battle Royal

NFL: Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry

WWF: Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bruno Sammartino, Jim Neidhart, Bret Hart

Perry is the hometown boy but once they said Andre’s name there was little doubt as to who was winning. Ernie Ladd jumps in on commentary as a former wrestler and football player. Andre chills in the corner and beats up anyone that comes near him. Perry gets ganged up on a few times in the corner but fights them off as Covert and Tonga go out. Francis goes after Andre like a crazy man and Holmes is gone.

The two giants go at it for a bit and Brunzell is gone. There’s never much to talk about in battle royals as most of it is just a bunch of brawls and the occasional elimination like Atlas going out here. Studd beats up Perry in the corner as Martin and Morales put each other out. Arcidi loads up Blair but Bruno makes the save for some reason. Not that it matters though as Arcidi is put out just a few seconds later. Spivey is gone as are Blair and Hillbilly. We’re down to about eight or so.

Fralic is dumped out by a bunch of people and Bruno backdrops Sheik out. Studd dumps Bruno and we’re down to Andre, Studd, Francis, Perry and the Harts. Perry shrugs off both Harts and sends them to the apron for the biggest pop of the night. He starts firing off tackles at Studd before running into an elbow for the elimination. Perry offers a handshake but pulls Studd out to the floor to another big pop. The Harts get Andre tied in the ropes and easily dump Francis. They pound away on Andre a bit but the big man is like dude please. He grabs Neidhart by the beard and kicks him out before tossing Bret on Anvil to win.

Rating: D. This was another pretty lame match with the football players not being able to do much due to not being wrestlers. Perry was incredibly popular and got a great reaction from the crowd, but other than him the NFL guys didn’t add anything at all here. Andre winning was the only logical choice and there’s not much else to say here.

Vince and Susan talk to Piper in New York and of course he says he’s awesome and didn’t lose at all.

Back in Chicago Jimbo Covert says he got cheated by Fralic. Iron Sheik says he’s proven wrestlers are better than football players.

We look at the end of the battle royal again.

Tag Titles: Dream Team vs. British Bulldogs

The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine and they’re defending. For absolutely no apparent reason, the Bulldogs have Ozzy freaking Osbourne in their corner. Smith and Valentine start things off with Davey pounding away in the corner. Off to a wristlock before Dynamite comes in to send Valentine into the buckle for two. There’s the snap suplex for no cover and it’s back to Davey for the delayed vertical.

Greg gets in a few shots in the corner including a forearm to the back to take over and finally bring in Brutus. He cranks on the arm and is immediately gorilla pressed down by Smith. Dynamite comes in again and gets two off a small package. Beefcake makes a blind tag though and Valentine comes in off the top via another forearm to the back and the champions take over. Kid comes right back and pounds away before bringing Smith back in.

The Bulldogs hit a double headbutt for two for Kid but Brutus comes in sans tag to switch momentum right back. Valentine gets two off a kneeling piledriver but falls victim to the Arn Anderson self-crotching mistake. He continues the Horsemen theme by going up top and getting slammed down ala Flair as everything breaks down. Dynamite gets sent to the floor so Smith comes in with the powerslam (not yet the finisher) for two on Valentine.

Davey misses a charges into the post though and his shoulder is hurt in a hurry. Brutus comes in to work over the arm and hits a kind of hammerlock slam. Valentine hits a shoulderbreaker but pulls up before covering. In a VERY sudden ending, Dynamite gets on the top rope while still illegal and Davey rams Valentine’s head into that of Dynamite for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a great or even a very good match but after nearly two hours of lame wrestling with nothing matches, this was a great breath of fresh air. The Bulldogs would be champions for the better part of a year while the Dream Team would survive for another year before splitting at the next Wrestlemania. Good stuff here though.

Both sets of announcers talk about the title change. I’ll give the female celebrities this: they sound like they’re enjoying themselves and they’re trying at least.

Off to Los Angeles.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Lee Marshall of non-fame in WCW is the announcer. This was supposed to be Steamboat vs. Hart but WWF saw more star power in Hernandez. This wasn’t their best time from a thinking standpoint. Hercules pounds on him to start but Steamboat goes to the arm as is his custom. A kick to the ribs puts Hernandez down and it’s off to an armbar. Back up and Steamboat does some leapfrogs before elbowing Herc down.

We head to the armbar again until Hernandez rams him into the buckle and hits a clothesline to take Steamboat down. A hot shot has Steamboat in trouble again but he comes back with a failed slam attempt that gives Hercules two. A pair of elbows get two more due to a very lazy cover. Hercules hits a tilt-a-whirl slam for two and there’s a gorilla press slam to go with it. Make it a pair of gorilla presses but Hernandez’s splash hits knees, allowing Ricky to hit the top rope cross body for the pin.

Rating: C-. Very basic match here with power vs. speed, although most of the speed guy’s offense involved an armbar. That’s something you have to get used to in Steamboat matches though so it’s not a disappointment or anything. The match itself was pretty dull stuff but Steamboat in the 80s is never a bad thing.

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

We hit the stereotypes now the gay character vs. the hillbilly character. Elmer, weighing roughly 450lbs, runs off Adonis and Jimmy Hart before the match and we get a good shot of Adrian’s pink dress. We finally get inside and Elmer starts pounding away before sending Adonis into the corner for a Flair Flip. Adrian gets sent into the corner two more times in a row with the second time landing him on the floor. Back in and there goes the dress as Adrian gets tied up in the ropes. A single punch to the chest puts Elmer down but he comes back with a corner splash, only to miss the big leg drop. A top rope headbutt gives Adrian a pin.

Rating: D-. What are you expecting here? We’ve got REALLY basic gimmicks (although Adonis wasn’t bad in his day) in a three minute match involving a man wearing a dress. This is what you call filler, albeit terrible filler. Elmer wouldn’t ever really do much in the WWF but he was a pretty big deal in the indies.

Adonis puts a flower on Elmer’s back post match.

We get Hogan’s second promo of the show with him saying he’s ready for Bundy and he begs Heenan to get involved.

Funk Brothers vs. Junkyard Dog vs. Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana

It’s Terry and Hoss here, with the latter being more famous as Dory Jr. Hoss and Dog start things off with JYD sending one Funk into another and slamming them both down before the Funks head to the floor for a breather. Off to Tito vs. Terry for a bit now and it’s a short bit as Terry gets clotheslined to the floor. Hoss takes a dropkick to send him out to be with his brother and the heels huddle on the floor again. Oh and they have Jimmy Hart too.

Back to the Dog vs.. Terry and they slug it out with Dog taking over. JYD rams Terry into the buckle so many times that the pad starts to come off. Terry gets thrown to the unpadded floor yet again and it’s back to Hoss. Tito comes in as well and Hoss fires off the famous Funk forearms. Speaking of forearms, the flying variety takes Hoss down and the Funks head to the floor again.

Hoss gets back in for a crisscross with Terry hitting Tito in the back with a knee to take over. Tito gets knocked to the floor and JYD has to chase Jimmy off a few times before throwing Santana back in. Terry gets two off a suplex and argues with the referee a bit before getting suplexed himself. They hit the ropes and collide but Terry falls into his own corner to bring in Hoss. The Funks hit a double clothesline which gets two for Terry who is getting frustrated.

Santana finally slides between Terry’s legs and makes the hot tag to JYD. We prove we’re in the 80s with a double noggin knocker to both of the Funks and a punch sends Hoss to the outside. Terry has a rope from somewhere as everything breaks down. JYD throws Terry to the floor and slams him on a table for good measure. Terry’s knee is hurt and he can’t stand up but he gets back inside anyway as Jimmy gets decked. Everything breaks down again and Tito puts Hoss in the Figure Four but Terry blasts Dog in the head with the megaphone for the pin.

Rating: B-. I’ve said before that the 1980s were the best era ever for tag wrestling and this show proves it again. Most of the show hasn’t been all that great but the tag matches have been by far the best matches on the card. This was a fun and WILD match but not to the point where you couldn’t keep track of what was going on. Good stuff here and after two boring matches in the LA section this was a good match to pick things up.

We set up the cage, which is the big blue kind for the first time ever.

Hogan is lifting weights with bad ribs and we recap Hogan vs. Bundy. On SNME, Hogan defended the title against Don Muraco and after the match, Bundy ran in and destroyed Hogan with a bunch of splashes to injure the ribs. The doctor says Hogan shouldn’t be doing this, so Hulk does chinups with a 100lb weight around his neck.

Heenan and Bundy say they’re going to take the title from Hogan.

Elvira sends it to New York for comments from Susan and Vince.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Escape only here, as it should be. Tommy Lasorda of the LA Dodgers is guest ring announcer. Ricky Schroder, a child actor, is guest timekeeper and Robert Conrad, an adult actor, is guest referee. Hogan starts firing off right hands to start and knocks Bundy into the cage before choking Bundy with his own singlet. The following clothesline in the corner has Bundy in even more trouble and a forearm to the head staggers him even more. All Hogan so far.

Both guys block shots into the cage but King goes to the ribs to stop Hogan cold. There’s a slam to mess with the ribs even more and Bundy goes for the door. You know it’s not ending that fast though so Bundy comes back to choke with the tape a bit. Another attempt to escape goes about as well and Hulk comes back with an elbow in the corner. Bundy gets rammed into the cage to bust him open and Hogan rakes his back a bit. More cage ramming occurs and Hulk climbs to the top to choke away on the ropes.

Hogan goes for the slam but Bundy falls down onto him as you would expect him to. Bundy goes to the door but Hulk grabs him for some choking with the rib tape. The Avalanche splash hits in the corner and a regular one hits as well so Hogan can shake like a fish. Hogan dives to stop Bundy from getting out but takes another Avalanche….with no effect whatsoever. The champion busts out a powerslam of all things and easily climbs out to retain.

Rating: D. It’s Hogan vs. a monster in 1986 so what in the world were you expecting to see here? At the end of the day this was the safe move but with all of the other heels on the roster, this is the best they could come up with? I mean, you have Savage, Piper or even Roberts to be in there, but you pick Bundy? It’s not like this was some huge feud as the SNME that set this up was five weeks before this show. I’ve heard that Vince was trying desperately to get Nikita Koloff to jump and be in the main event but when they fell through, they picked a monster instead. Eh when all else fails, go with the safe pick.

Hogan beats up Heenan to close the show.

Overall Rating: D. This is a tough one to grade for the same reason that I don’t consider it the worst Mania ever: it was the second one and they had NO idea what they were doing here. The main thing that helps this show is that while most of the matches are worthless, they’re FAST. Of all the non-tag matches, only the cage match and the boxing match break ten minutes and the cage match does so by about 15 seconds. It’s certainly not a good show and if this happened today Vince would be jumping off a building, but for its time this wasn’t completely terrible.

Ratings Comparison

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Original: D+

Redo: D

Randy Savage vs. George Steele

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Original: F

Redo: D+

Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper

Original: F

Redo: D

Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D-

Redo: N/A

Battle Royal

Original: B

Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Dream Team

Original: B-

Redo: B

Rick Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Original: N/A

Redo: D-

Terry Funk/Hoss Funk vs. Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: B-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dang those must have been the strong rose colored glasses back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/09/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-2-what-the-hell-were-they-thinking/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania 2
Date: April 7, 1986
Location: Nassau Coliseum-New York, Rosemont Horizon-Chicago, Illinois, Sports Arena-Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 40,085 combined for all three venues
Commentators: New York – Vince McMahon, Susan St. James. Chicago – Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund, Cathy Lee Crosby, Ernie Ladd. Los Angeles – Jesse Ventura, Alfred Hayes, Elvira
America The Beautiful: Ray Charles

This show is the classic what the heck were thinking moment from the WWF. They had made Wrestlemania the year before and they hit it so far out of the park that by the time it was Wrestlemania 2 the ball hadn’t come down yet. This was a problem though. Since the inaugural show had been such a success, Vince felt they had to do something to top it. This was his idea: what if we did Wrestlemania from 3 different places??? Think about that for a minute. How weird would that be?

Not to mention, Vince had another idea: let’s put it on a Monday! Again, just awkward sounding. The format used was three locations, each with an undercard and then a featured match, which were a boxing match, a battle royal, and the true main event, Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy in a steel cage.

The idea was odd on paper and worse in reality as it felt like watching three shows instead of one. There’s no rhythm and because it was in three locations, announcers were a rare commodity. Due to this, Vince’s last idea was to put a real commentator together with celebrities to do the commentary. What followed might be the biggest mess in company history.

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

We begin the show in New York City with Paul Orndorff against Don Muraco. Why are they fighting? I don’t have a freaking clue but they are so here we go. As they begin we hear comments from both and neither have anything to say of meaning.

Orndorff is easily the face here so if he never accomplished anything else in his career, the face turn between Manias one and two was effective. As was predicted, the celebrity commentator is atrocious, with such gems like “I think he’s winning!” Orndorff controls the early part of the match but Muraco breaks it up with some power. They roll outside and we get a double count out as the crowd clearly can be heard chanting bull.

Rating: D+. Fine for what it was, but the fans got it right with their chants. This is the opening match to Wrestlemania? Seriously? That’s the best they could come up with? This feud more or less never went anywhere at all as Orndorff was about to get the biggest push of his career by far, resulting in him making about $20,000 a week for awhile. This was just an odd choice for an opening match but then again this was an odd choice for a show so I guess it fits.

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Next up the intercontinental title is on the line as Randy Savage defends against George Steele. This is a match that I can’t find a standalone version of so I can’t put this one in here. However, this was another chapter in the over year long feud between these two. Savage had been allegedly mistreating Liz and Steele had developed a crush on her. That led to, what else, Savage being jealous and a 15 month feud began.

Mega stall from Savage to start as he seems afraid of Steele. Savage runs again and finally on the third time Steele goes after him. They finally lock up and Steele beats Savage up for a while with power moves and biting but Steele keeps going to talk to Liz. This was a weird period for Savage as they knew they had a gem with him but they didn’t know what to do with him. Yeah he was the IC champion, but where did they go with him from there?

This was all they had until the next year when he and Steamboat stole the show and Savage was launched into the main event. For some reason Savage has a bouquet of flowers that he and Steele try to beat each other up with. After ripping apart a turnbuckle and eating the stuffing (not making that up) Steele gets slammed and elbowed, but he kicks out?

Yes, George Steele is the first man to kick out of the elbow, and he pops up, beats on Savage some more and then gets rolled up and Savage uses the ropes to pin him. Steele eats more stuffing.

Rating: C-. This was a comedy match I think with wrestling mixed in. Savage is the highlight here as he sells like crazy for Steele and it helps a lot. These two had this freaky chemistry that no one has ever been able to really figure out. They would feud on and off for the next year before FINALLY ending it with the return of Ricky Steamboat for that whole greatest match of all time thing he and Savage would have next year.

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

We follow up that strange match with another somewhat strange match as Jake Roberts, still a rookie here, takes on some guy named George Wells. This match is little more than a glorified squash. Wells dominates early but doesn’t go for a pin when he has the chance. Jake recovers and DDTs him to win the match. Afterwards he unleashes Damien who causes Wells to look like he’s foaming at the mouth.

Rating: D+. Talk about a weird choice to have on Wrestlemania. Jake was brand new at this point so they needed someone to make him look good and they pick….George Wells? There was a squash on Mania for the first two years and both times they were the least interesting match on the card. I don’t get the selection here for the most part and it’s pretty bad all things considered.

Boxing Match: Mr. T vs. Roddy Piper

We now move onto the main event of the New York portion of the show: a boxing match with Roddy Piper and Mr. T. This was built up on SNME about 2 months before hand with Mr. T. beating Piper’s friend Bob Orton in a boxing match before being beaten down by both of them. That came on from what started over a year ago in the main event of the first Wrestlemania, so this truly was a showdown that had been built up for ages.

Factor in that T had been the World Boxing Champion in Rocky 3 just a few years ago and was on a top rated TV show where he was a tough guy. Both men have famous trainers in their corners to make it look more legit. For no apparent reason Joan Rivers does the ring announcing. This is ten three minute rounds. She introduces Orton as the Ace Comedy Bob Orvin. Nice job of handling the reading thing honey.

They actually got Smoking Joe Frazier to be in T’s corner. One of the biggest stars in Hollywood has in his corner a former world heavyweight champion who had three of the best boxing matches in history with Muhammad Ali. He also has a midget. Well of course he does. They treat this like a real boxing match. Oh dear.

T goes for the ribs which doesn’t work all that well for him. Piper hits him on the break which is illegal of course. There has been no mention of judges or anything like that so I guess this is destined to not go the distance. The referee has broken them up about four times now. I think these are three minute rounds. For the most part these punches aren’t landing at all but they sell them anyway of course.

It’s not so much boxing but rather glorified grappling with the occasional punch thrown. The fans are more or less dead if you didn’t guess that. After the first round nothing has really happened. Piper has a bunch of grease on his face for the second round which is keeping the punches from T from being effective.

This is painfully boring if I didn’t make that clear so far. Piper knocks the heck out of T with some big roundhouses and finally drops him to huge cheers because something HAPPENED for a change. The knockdown gets a count of 8. Piper keeps pounding on him as round two ends. They brawl a bit during the break and Orton throws water at T.

Piper does the Ali Shuffle to start the third round. T gets him into the corner and pounds away with more or less open hand shots to the head and Piper is in trouble. That gets a count of 7. T gets a huge punch that I think hit so of course Piper is knocked to the floor. He gets up at 9 and then holds onto T for the last 25 seconds of the fight.

They just trade big bombs to start the fourth round. And then he punches the referee and slams T for the DQ about a minute into the fourth round. It’s a bit brawl and T of course gets the win. Was there a reason for both that ending and also having Piper dominate a round like that? This was awful.

Rating: F. On WRESTLEmania they had a long boxing match. This was just boring beyond belief and the boxing looked awful. They tried to make this seem legit and it failed on more than all levels. T was never seen again and Piper turned face relatively soon after taking time off for knee surgery. Boring match and awful beyond belief.

Chicago

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

We start with the Women’s Title on the line as Moolah defends against Velvet McIntyre. This match is just weird. Moolah dominates, Velvet comes back and then misses a splash allowing Moolah to pin her. It screams botched finish to me as even the announcers seem surprised.

Rating: N/A. Just was nothing at all and might have gone a minute. Little to rate here so I won’t even try to.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirschner

Now we have a flag match with Nikolai Volkoff against the forgotten Corporal Kirschner. Yeah I don’t remember him either. The winner gets to have their flag waved. Other than that it’s a standard one on one match. As usual, Nikolai sings the Russian National Anthem before the match starts. Nikolai dominates early on, ramming Kirschner into the post twice and busting him open. I kid you not, Kirschner lands 7 right hands, catches Freddy Blassie’s cane and hits Nikolai with it to win the match.

Rating: D-. This was supposed to be a brawl but it was a bad match. 7 punches and a cane shot? Give me a break. Kirschner is apparently one of the most legit tough guys in the history of the business and got thrown out of most major companies for being too rough. Based on this and his match at the Wrestling Classic I’d assume it’s due to a high level of suck but that’s just me. This was just barely long enough to warrant a rating and it wasn’t any good at all.

Battle Royal

Now we get the most famous match from this show: a 20 man battle royal with ten pro football players and 10 wrestlers. This is going to go GREAT. Since most of you won’t know half the people in this I’m not going to list them all until the end. The big names are a still rookie Bret Hart, Andre the Giant, Big John Studd and Bruno Sammartino. For the most part this is a run of the mill battle royal.

It’s little more than a bunch of punching and kicking against the ropes as we get down to the big names. Oddly enough the celebrity commentator is the only one that gets anything right. Gorilla says stuff like Studd has this guy in the corner when they’re almost in the middle of the ring, or Ernie Ladd who was a wrestler saying no one wants Andre when he’s beating someone up. Amazing.

The only really famous thing in this match is a football player named William the Refrigerator Perry getting eliminated by Studd but then offering a handshake and eliminating him. The Iron Sheik eliminates Hillbilly Jim just as he would in the gimmick battle royal 15 years later at WM 17. The final four are the Hart Foundation, a football player and Andre. Do I need to really give the details on this? Andre beats up the Harts to win the match after launching Bret out in a press slam.

Rating: B. It’s a bunch of football players and 80s wrestlers with a few great workers. Nothing special, but considering what they had to work with this is just fine. The football stuff didn’t lead anywhere which is kind of surprising as they set up a Fridge vs. Studd thing that never happened at all that I know of. This was just ok and at least the right guy won it. Andre would of course be in the biggest match of all time the next year.

Tag Titles: British Bulldogs vs. The Dream Team

Now we have what is likely the best match of the whole show. It’s a classic 80s tag match with the British Bulldogs, and Ozzy Osbourne in their corner for God alone knows why to face the tag team champions of the Dream Team Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine. You can tell they’re serious here as this has a sixty minute time limit.

The ring looks small here for some reason. Gorilla asks why Ozzy is there too which means he’s confused like I am. There are two referees here which I doubt will mean anything for the most part. Smith vs. Valentine to get up. The ring is all loud here still.

The Bulldogs were so fast with those tags and this is no exception at all. Valentine won’t tag out for no apparent reason. He counters a backdrop though and here’s Beefcake. Small package by Dynamite get two. Fisherman’s suplex by Davey gets two. I guess he’s not perfect. After Davey gets beaten on for a bit Dynamite comes in and slugs it out with Valentine.

The champions cheat a bit and they still can’t take over. I never got the appeal of the Dream Team but to be fair it might be that Brutus was just awful at this point. Valentine gets a Piledriver on Dynamite but falls forward so it kind of looks like a tombstone but with Dynamite’s stomach facing out. That was kind of cool looking.

Bulldogs clear the ring as things speed up a bit. Davey gets the powerslam for two as it wasn’t a finisher but just a signature move at the time. The champions work over Davey as momentum changes hands a lot here tonight. They work over the arm, including with a shoulderbreaker from Valentine.

However he shows his idiocy by pulling Davey up at two. Nice job you lunkhead. And there’s the idiocy coming through as for no apparent reason Dynamite gets on the middle rope and Davey rams Valentine’s head into Kid’s for the knockout shot and falls on Valentine for the pin and the titles. That ending came from NOWHERE and Dynamite is out cold from the shot which is kind of amusing for some reason. That’s Albano’s 16^th title win as a manager. Hokey smoke.

Rating: B-. Fun stuff but the ending was just so freaking random. I don’t get the ending as it was like they looked at the clock and realized they had no time left and were like oh crap we need to finish this. The Bulldogs were a good team and were a huge step up from the Dream Team. They would lose them to the Harts in about 8-9 months so the tag division was starting to roll at this point.

Los Angeles

Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

We move to the final and by far the worst of the three locations as we’re now in LA, beginning with Ricky Steamboat against Hercules Hernandez. This was supposed to be Bret vs. Ricky in the big showdown match for Mania. I’m not sure what the showdown would be for since for all intents and purposes they had no feud that I know of but a little face on face action never hurt anyone, even though Bret wasn’t a face at the time so scratch that line.

They start off kind of fast but not fast enough for anything to mean much. This was a different era so matches like these were really commonplace. There’s no feud or anything here and Hercules is just a big power guy that had been given a fairly decent push so he’s getting to fight one of the best guys in the company at one of the biggest shows of the year.

There is almost nothing to say here though as I’ve been watching for a few minutes and nothing has happened at all. Well at least nothing worth talking about that is. Hercules goes for the backbreaker as this is before the Full Nelson made him the original Chris Masters. Relatively standard Steamboat match which means it’s at least passable. Herc is the big powerhouse that beats the tar out of Ricky, makes one mistake and the Dragon makes his comeback. The flying body press ends things as always.

Rating: C-. And that’s almost all for Steamboat. I liked Hercules for some reason but for the life of me I don’t get the point in having him be considered a better prospect than Bret was. This was the epitome of a throwaway match with nothing special at all going on in it and nothing of note to talk about really. I sat there for minutes at a time with nothing of note so I apologize for the most history based match here.

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Now for the odd match of the night, we have Adrian Adonis, playing a controversial gay gimmick at the time, against Uncle Elmer, a fat hillbilly character. The crowd chants a certain homosexual slur at Adonis to start the match which he prances around the ring to.

This match is slow and mostly painful as the smaller man in the match weighs about 350lbs. When he’s your agile guy, you know this isn’t going anywhere. Elmer punches him and literally falls off his feet from it. Quite sad actually. Adonis has his dress, yes dress ripped off and it’s just hideous. Elmer beats on him some more but misses a leg drop. Adonis hits a top rope headbutt and gets the pin.

Rating: N/A. I never got the appeal of either of these characters and thankfully Elmer wasn’t around much longer. Naturally he got a tape mainly about him and his family because that’s the way the 80s went.

Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana vs. The Funks

In the next to last match of the night, we have the Funks against JYD and Tito Santana. This is another filler match that had no point at all other than two faces against a heel team. This is a much slower paced match as they do more old school stuff in there. Terry vs. Tito starts us off so we’re certainly getting things started off on the right foot here.

You have three guys that belong in the Hall of Fame and JYD who is in there because he was popular in the 80s making him a LEGEND. I still don’t like him but he’s more bearable than some people I can’t stand. This is definitely a different style than most are used to. I’d like a bit more explanation as to why they’re fighting but I think It’s 1986 is about as close as we’re going to get. Tito dominates for the most part here, hammering away on both Funks. He was completely awesome at this point if you didn’t get that.

Off to the Dog now and we get some boxing. A Texas man lost a fight to a dog. Don’t bother going back to Amarillo I guess Terry. Someone please explain the appeal to me of the Dog as I just don’t get it at all and never have. Dory plays Ricky Morton which just sounds wrong and gets beaten on in the corner for a bit. The forearm gets two as I guess Tito didn’t have it perfected yet.

Control shifts over to the crazy men and they beat down Tito for awhile as he’s really playing Ricky Morton. That still sounds wrong. After a few minutes of basic offense from the Funks JYD comes back in and everything goes nuts. Terry is thrown to the floor where there are no mats. He might have legitimately hurt his knee or ankle there and I’m not surprised at all. With the referee not looking, Terry clocks the Dog with the Megaphone (Jimmy was managing them which I forgot to mention) and the heels steal one.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match here with the Funks being all evil and the thrown together face team doing whatever they could to get the win. Granted that didn’t happen but at least they tried. This was a better match than I remember it being and while it’s still mainly formula stuff it worked rather well. I liked it and granted three of the guys being all time greats helps a bit.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

This is a cage match and the only one in Mania history if you don’t count the Cell match at Mania 15 which most people don’t. The story behind this is Bundy jumped Hogan at a SNME and hurt his ribs, which hadn’t healed yet. Hogan wrestled against doctor’s orders with tape all over his ribs. Simple but effective but kind of too simple as this was more or less thrown together about a month ago.

This is a very not surprising match with Bundy going for the ribs and Hogan having to fight through the pain. It’s solid because it’s Hogan doing what he does best but the total and complete lack of drama or anyone really caring for the most part is hurting it. Also having Jesse as lead announcer is a very odd choice.

Bundy rips the tape off of Hogan’s ribs like a good heel and Hogan messes up as always by trying to pick Bundy up and of course he can’t do it. There’s nothing special going on here at all but it’s working for the most part. Ah there’s the Hulk Up. Very surprisingly we get a power slam here and not the traditional slam. Maybe his ribs really were hurt. He ties up Bundy and goes over the top to retain and end the show.

Rating: B-. It’s Hogan against a monster heel not named Andre. What are you expecting here? This was his bread and butter and the fans popped for the end (only) so I guess you can call this a success. I’m a sucker for Hogan matches in the 80s so I’d say there’s probably some bias in the rating but who cares? Fairly solid match but nothing unique about it at all other than the cage aspect.

Overall rating: C+. While certainly better in the ring than the first Mania and including some storylines this time, the three venues thing is just a mess. There’s really only two or three very good matches here and I’d call maybe the tag title match Mania worthy. Other than that there’s a lot of filler and it’s more or less 1-2 big matches per location with the rest being all filler.

This show suffers from trying to do something that had never been done before, and while they did indeed do that the overlooked one major point: the new thing they did wasn’t a good idea. It’s really not that good of a show overall. Watch the highlights if you want to, but don’t waste three hours watching it from start to end.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Hidden Gems #10
Date: 1985, 1987, 2000

I’m FINALLY finishing up these Christmas shows and, again, it includes an AWA show because apparently there is nothing else to do on Christmas night in Minnesota. There is one little surprise in there as well though with a one match Gem instead of a full show. With luck, I can get this done by Halloween. Let’s get to it.

ECW World Title: Sandman vs. Justin Credible vs. Steve Corino

Date: December 23, 2000

Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Corino is defending (though Sandman has the title) and this is from the final ECW event at the ECW Arena so it’s certainly historic. Before the match, Sandman says let’s make it a three way so I’m not sure who wasn’t originally in the match. Corino jumps Sandman from behind to start so the champ fights back and sends everyone outside. Credible sends Corino over the barricade as Sandman starts bringing out the toys.

The fans tell themselves to throw in their chairs before switching to the tried and true ECW chant. As the other two fight in the crowd, Sandman loads up six chairs with a piece of barricade on top of them. Credible comes back in for an ugly piledriver from Sandman, who then superplexes the bloody Corino onto the steel setup. Sandman is back up with the cane to the head and Corino hits the Old School Expulsion (basically a reverse Twist of Fate) to eliminate Credible at 3:54.

Sandman throws in chairs and the fans follow suit, throwing in probably 100 chairs. Eventually Sandman has to call them off as the mat is nearly covered, meaning a DDT onto the chairs gets….two as Corino’s lackey Jack Victory makes the save. Sandman’s Swanton only hits chairs and the Old School Expulsion on the chairs gets two. Victory belts Corino by mistake so Sandman can get two. A cowbell to the head retains Corino’s title at 7:22.

Rating: D. The chairs thing made for a cool visual but multiple ones being launched from the further seats and landing in the closer seats were lawsuits waiting to happen. Sandman was crazy over here and Corino was a great heel for wanting to be a wrestler. Credible was just there, which is often the case for him.

AWA House Show

Date: December 25, 1987

Location: Minneapolis Auditorium, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Attendance: 1,800

Commentators: Ron Trongard, Nick Conch

The ring announcer tells us to make sure to register for a prize drawing. Given how many empty seats are behind him, you probably have a good chance of winning something.

Mitch Snow vs. Nick Kiniski

There is a guest ring announcer who donated a bunch of money to a charity. Nick is Gene’s son and hopefully he’s more interesting than his dad. Oh and this is JAMMIN Mitch Snow because it’s the 80s and Jammin is a cool name. That being said, he has Madusa in his corner so there’s something to him. Kiniski chills on the floor to start before being driven into the corner and falling out to the floor. Back in and Snow works on the arm before taking Kiniski down and pulling on the arm.

We’re clipped to Kiniski putting on a chinlock as the arena looks darker and the camera is pulled back for some reason. It’s off to a front facelock with the bigger Kiniski laying on him quite a bit. Back up and Kiniski misses a charge into the corner, which didn’t even start until after Mitch had moved. It’s off to the reverse chinlock for a good while until Snow fights back up. We get the two minute warning and Kiniski grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin at 7:45 shown.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here but that’s kind of the point of an opener like this. All they were doing here was getting the crowd warmed up a little bit so it’s not like the standards were all that high. At least they went to a finish instead of just another time limit draw. Not very good, but I’m not exactly thinking they had the highest expectations.

Alan West vs. Kevin Kelly

Not that Kevin Kelly, though this one is better known as Nailz. West is substituting for DJ Peterson, who had won Madusa’s (Kelly’s manager) services for a month, which ends tonight. Madusa is in West’s corner and wearing an elf costume, which the announcers ridicule/praise in a somewhat disturbing way. Feeling out process to start with Kelly posing a lot and Trongard talking about West’s football career. Kelly works on an armbar as I try to figure out what happened to him until he became Nailz. He’s chiseled here while Nailz looked to be almost husky, which is quite the change of pace.

The announcers talk about how bored Madusa looks at ringside as West starts in on the arm. Back up and Kelly sends him into the corner, setting up a front facelock as the slow pace (read as the AWA style) goes on. The BORING chants send us off to a chinlock for far too long as the fans are getting bored in a hurry. They head outside with Kelly stomping away but having to come back in after the threats of a nagging referee. Back in and Kelly’s very slow offense continues and we hit the backbreaker.

Slam, misses elbow, slam, elbow connects for two. That somehow ate up over a minute and a half. West finally makes a comeback off a dropkick, with Kelly jumping into it for some reason. A backdrop gives West two and a powerslam gets the same with Kelly getting his foot on the rope. They do the same thing off a backbreaker, which looked like a setup for Madusa to sweep the leg. West picks him up again and this time Madusa does sweep the leg, allowing Kelly to fall on top for the pin at 10:55.

Rating: D-. From the boring “action” to the botched finish, this was one of the most uninteresting matches I’ve seen in a long time. West’s comeback was decent enough, but other than that this felt about three hours long and needed to be about seven minutes shorter. Terrible match here as the AWA continues its tradition of REALLY boring stuff.

Nord the Barbarian vs. Soldat Ustinov

A local radio announcer introduces this one. Nord is better known as Berzerker and Ustinov is one of those Russians from Minnesota. If Nord wins, he gets five minutes with Adnan Al-Kaissie. Nord grabs a headlock takeover and we’re immediately cut to the two of them fighting to the floor. They go into the crowd with Nord getting the better of it and somehow beating the count back in. A big boot gives Nord two and we’re clipped again to Ustinov charging into a boot in the corner for the same.

The front facelock goes on and we’re clipped again, this time to Ustinov raking the eyes. Ustinov grabs a chinlock as the announcers keep comparing this to a boxing match. They can clip everything else but not a two minute chinlock? The camera goes out for a bit as Nord fights up and hits a dropkick (which we only hear about). Nord misses a middle rope legdrop but Ustinov misses a middle rope clothesline to give Nord the pin at 5:45 shown.

Rating: D. Well what we saw was bad at least and were you really expecting anything else? You’re only going to get so much stuff out of a battle of the giants like this and that’s usually not the best recipe in the world. Neither of these guys were exactly interesting but the whole deal with the manager fight is more than enough to make something like this worth it.

Nord the Barbarian vs. Sheik Adnan Al-Kaissie

The chase is on and Ustinov’s interference earns himself a ram into the post. Sheik gets in and the beatdown is on with Sheik’s comeback cut off by a boot to the face. Ustinov comes in and some double teaming works a bit better on Nord….and everyone walks out at 2:08.

Tag Team Titles: Midnight Express vs. Midnight Rockers

For the sake of clarification, I’ll go with the Midnights vs. the Rockers here. The Express (Randy Rose/Dennis Condrey with Paul E. Dangerously) is defending here. Of note here, Shawn is starting to grow out his hair and has what would be his classic look for the next thirty years. The brawl is on before the bell with the Midnights being sent outside. We settle down to Shawn vs. Condrey to start, even though I don’t think I heard a bell in there.

A right hand knocks Condrey down and it’s time to complain about the closed fists. Given that referee Scott LeDoux is a former boxer, this doesn’t go very well. We settle down and get clipped to Shawn punching Condrey out of the corner. For some reason Rose shoves LeDoux and gets shoved back, meaning the champs need to bail, only to come back to see the Rockers holding the belts. A headlock takeover sends Condrey outside and it’s time to stall some more on the outside.

Back in and Dennis takes his time locking up, allowing Jannetty to get in the corner and block Shawn from being whipped into the corner. Rose tries the same thing and gets kicked in the ribs because Shawn is rather smart. The ring announcer says we’re at ten minutes, though it’s about six and a half, which makes me think the big time limit draw is coming. Rose comes in and gets monkey flipped before taking over on Shawn’s arm.

We’re clipped (that’s more like it) to Shawn hanging Rose up in the ropes and punching away for the rocking chair effect. Condrey comes back in and gets whipped into the corner as well, allowing the tag to Marty. A rope walk headlock takeover has Rose in trouble at the fifteen minute announcement, or ten shown. Marty’s crossbody gets two and the Rockers take turns with some headlock takeovers.

Rose gets up and manages to punch Condrey by mistake as the Midnights can’t get anything going. Marty knocks him into the corner again and we’re clipped again to Condrey not wanting to tag in. Clipped again to Condrey getting headlocked as well and we hit twenty minutes in (about twelve shown). Dangerously offers a distraction so Shawn can be knocked out to the floor. The champs finally take over on Shawn with a gutbuster making it even worse.

We hit the chinlock (you knew that was coming) and we’re clipped again to Shawn making his comeback. A clothesline takes care of that though but we’re clipped AGAIN to the hot tag bringing Marty in to clean house. Condrey blocks a sunset flip as we have two minutes left. Trongard freaks out because he thought it was an hour time limit but it’s only half an hour, which should be a detail they have down.

Marty gets two off a small package with a minute left. Condrey begs off so Marty wastes a long time before hammering away. Everything breaks down and the Rockers put on a freaking rowboat hold before realizing they’re out of time and covering with two seconds left as time expires at 18:18 shown of 30:00.

Rating: B-. What we got was working but my goodness the Rockers looked like morons at the end there. They just waited around forever and then realized how dumb they were at the end. The clipping hurt quite a bit though and while what we got was good, I never bought that the titles were in real jeopardy. Oh and just to make this worse: the Rockers won the titles TWO DAYS LATER, because why do it on Christmas night when you can….not?

Adrian Adonis vs. Wahoo McDaniel

Adonis has Dangerously in his corner and is looking like a cross between his most famous gimmick and the tough guy version. He even throws in a peck on Dangerously’s cheek to mess with the announcers. Adonis works on a headlock as the announcers talk about how much Adonis weighs, with Trongard seriously trying to say that Adonis weighs 458. I mean he’s fat but that’s Earthquake levels.

Adonis takes him down into an armbar but the referee breaks it up for no apparent reason. McDaniel comes back with a chop to the nose but gets driven into the corner with a splash crushing his arm. Another splash hits the referee though and Dangerously gives Adonis the phone for a shot to the head. Adonis’ splash gets two as Wahoo gets a foot on the rope. Adrian makes the mistake of going after the referee, allowing Wahoo to grab Dangerously. Wahoo steals the phone and knocks Adonis down before shoving the referee for the DQ at 5:42.

Rating: D-. This match felt like it belonged in 1983 at the latest as Adonis was just embarrassing. McDaniel looked better but that’s not saying much given who he was in there against. The two of them did not belong in a ring at this point but they were names so of course they were put on the show.

AWA World Title: Curt Hennig vs. Greg Gagne

Curt is defending of course and Greg doesn’t get an entrance. Both of their fathers are here at ringside so for the sake of simplicity I’ll only call them Larry and Verne. There are three referees for some reason and Larry Hennig wants Scott LeDoux out of here. After the Big Match Intros, Larry and Verne have to be tied together to prevent any cheating. I’m sure absolutely no shenanigans will take place.

Curt works on an armbar to start and gets shoved away in a hurry as the announcers recap the previous issues between the two with the fathers interfering in previous matches. Why can’t they do that in more matches? Greg gets in a right hand to knock Curt outside as the fathers are shoving each other on the floor. Back in and Curt gets two off a sunset flip but the threat of a right hand sends him bailing out to the floor. He gets back in again as the stall is in full swing here, allowing the announcers to list off possible challengers for the winner.

Hennig takes the leg and gets in a spinning toehold, setting up some pulling on the leg. Since the hold goes on for several minutes, it’s a BORING chant but Hennig seems to be paying attention and grabs a rollup for two. Gagne misses a dive onto the ropes and it’s a Figure Four to work on the leg even more. That gets turned over so Curt goes to the rope before starting right back in on the leg.

Gagne sends Curt shoulder first into the post and it’s time for the armbar. The arm goes into the buckle as the dads are about to fight again. A hammerlock slam has Hennig begging off in the corner but it’s a collision to put both of them down. Back up and the slugout goes to Curt and a middle rope splash gets two. Hennig knocks him outside and eventually is smart enough to let the referee count.

Back in and Greg turns it on with forearms and a backdrop as Larry is freaking out. The sleeper goes on and Verne finally punches Larry for trying to interfere. Larry punches him right back and breaks the hold, meaning it’s a dad fight on the floor. That’s enough for the DQ at 18:30.

Rating: C+. This was a long match and while it was dull at times, it was far from bad with the battle of limb work and the dads being extra factors on the floor. I wasn’t wild on the long form holds but at least the match could have been a lot worse given how things have gone around here before. Hennig was very good in the ring, though just having him as a regular guy wasn’t the most thrilling character. Gagne wasn’t too bad either, but he was in over his head here.

The brawl stays on and some wrestlers come in for the save as the dads keep fighting. Curt even beats up Verne, meaning it’s time for Verne to open his shirt and beat up everyone because that’s what he does. Hennig even breaks the belt over Greg’s head to brawl some blood. Things are finally settled down to end the show.

Hold on though as we’ve got some interviews to do.

The Midnight Rockers don’t like the thirty minute time limit and didn’t get to give the fans the Christmas present they wanted.

Dangerously says the Rockers had their chance and it’s on to another team. Why was it a thirty minute match? It’s because Dangerously is smarter than the Rockers. Hearing Dangerously talk here is such a striking difference between his more famous work as Paul Heyman.

Greg Gagne says he’s beaten Curt three times now and this time Larry had to save his son’s title. There is only one way to settle this and….I guess we’ll find out what that is later.

Verne Gagne, still with the open shirt despite this being in the empty arena, says Greg got cheated. And yes, of course he’s willing to come out of retirement. Well only if you beg him of course.

The Hennigs think the Gagnes are dumb because the Hennigs still have the title. Curt is more than down for a rematch.

Adrian Adonis says he put out Tommy Rich’s fire and Roddy Piper is nowhere to be seen. Now Wahoo is a former great Indian wrestler.

We go to the opening of All Star Wrestling….which is the same shot with Adonis and Dangerously in the same places and talking about Rich, Piper and McDaniel again. What an odd way to end another night that wasn’t all that great in the first place. The wrestling was fine (mostly) but the dim arena is killing them. This is less than a month before the first Royal Rumble and it looks like it’s 1978. That’s not going to work.

AWA Nite Of Champions II
Date: December 29, 1985

Location: Meadowlands Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey

Attendance: 13,000

This is officially an AWA show but it’s actually Pro Wrestling USA, meaning it’s the AWA/NWA on the same card. At least we’ll get some flavor out of it.

Tony Schiavone recaps the Road Warriors vs. the Russians. The Road Warriors and Paul Ellering come in to talk about how serious they are. Of course they haven’t bitten off more than they can chew with the Russians. The Road Warriors have told Ellering what they want to do to the Russians and it is rather intense. Animal doesn’t like hearing about the Russians and the beating is coming soon.

Tully Blanchard, with his head bandaged after Starrcade, is coming to get the US Title back. He’s coming to get the US Title back and for Magnum TA’s eye.

The Rock N Roll Express want the Long Riders and will retain their titles. Not that they’re wearing any titles here. Ricky Morton wants to get hot and nasty and speaks in what sound like a lot of song lyrics. Or he’s just really high.

We hear the New Jersey Athletic Commission members. I’m assuming it’s for the record but I really don’t need to hear that Dr. Shaw is at ringside. Unless it’s Dr. Zahorian, just move on.

No commentary here, as expected.

Ron Bass vs. JJ Dillon

Bass is a cowboy who has been chasing Dillon (a manager) for a good while now. Dillon actually gets a home state reaction but not the biggest in the world because he’s quite the heel. Bass sends him into the corner and then grabs a quickly broken hammerlock. An armbar on the mat works better as Dillon seems to be in way over his head. A hair pull gets Dillon out of trouble for a split second but the fans dub this boring. Could you wait until we’re three minutes into the match?

The armbar goes back on but Dillon reverses into one of his own as the crowd reactions are much more prominent here with the lack of commentary. Back up again and Dillon chokes away in the corner, followed by a nerve hold and more BORING chants. Bass makes the comeback as I try to get my head around him being a face. The Claw goes on and Dillon is done at 5:23.

Rating: D. This is a match where commentary could have helped a lot with selling the hatred and history between these two. As a regular match it’s rather bad but for a nice moment for Bass, it worked well enough. Again though, it feels completely wrong to cheer for Bass, who is as heel of a character as you can get.

World Midget Title: Cowboy Lang vs. Little Tokyo

Tokyo is defending and starts by hiding behind the referee, including a pull of his pants. I wouldn’t be expecting much in the serious department here but that’s to be expected. Tokyo grabs a flying headlock takeover but runs into a dropkick. A test of strength goes to Lang and he backflips over Tokyo for some more frustration. Tokyo stomps on the referee’s foot in frustration/protest so Lang kicks him into the corner.

Some stomping in the corner keeps Lang down until he bites Tokyo’s bare foot. Lang’s delayed vertical suplex gets two and an atomic drop has Tokyo bouncing very high into the air. A backdrop and running stomp to the head gives Lang two but Tokyo rolls him up and puts his feet on the ropes to retain at 6:56.

Rating: D-. Yeah what is there to say about this one? The match was just a spectacle for the sake of having an attraction in there and that isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. The wrestling wasn’t any good and there was no flow to it, minus a few comedy spots. These things don’t age well and this was quite the downer.

AWA Women’s Title: Debbie Combs vs. Sherri Martel

Sherri is defending. The referee takes a LONG time checking Sherri for weapons and yelling at her in general. The lockup goes to Sherri and she grabs a front facelock to take over. Debbie takes her down by the leg, followed by Sherri taking her down by the leg to mix things up a bit. The fans don’t seem pleased with this one but they like Combs being tossed to the floor.

That means some choking with a camera cable but Combs is right back with stomping and a hard slam. Back in and Sherri misses a charge into the corner but she’s fine enough to knock Combs outside again. As was the case before, she doesn’t seem phased by it and tries a front facelock, which fans again find boring.

Sherri’s necksnap sets up….well nothing actually as she gets knocked into the corner and catapulted face first onto the mat for two. Sherri takes her down by the arm as the back and forth continues. Combs gets up again and knocks her to the floor followed by an airplane spin of all things back inside. She gets a bit too dizzy though and Martel grabs a rollup for the pin at 10:25.

Rating: D. This was a rough one to watch but the women were both trying as hard as they could have. Women’s wrestling was, much like the previous match, little more than a sideshow act at this point with no women’s wrestling (in America at least) meaning anything for a very long time. The WWF was trying, but it’s not like it was anything from a quality standpoint.

Universal Title: Carlos Colon vs. Konga The Barbarian

Colon is defending the WWC (Puerto Rico) World Title. That would be the Barbarian with Konga The as a bonus, plus Paul Jones (one of the worst managers of all time) in his corner. There’s no contact for the first minute as the referee objects to what looks like a spiked bad on Barbarian’s forearm. Colon slugs away to start and then grabs a headlock to grind away. This is dubbed as boring as well, as the fans are far from the most patient people in the world.

Barbarian slams him down for the headbutt, followed by the contractually obligated bearhug. This one is broken up in a hurry but Barbarian kicks him down for two more. The top rope headbutt misses so Barbarian sends Carlos outside where Jones gets in some stomping. Back in and Colon grabs the worst small package of all time (he doesn’t even touch a leg) to retain at 6:39.

Rating: D. See, I know there is a lot of variety on here and some big stars, but it doesn’t matter when the matches are all somewhere between bad and boring. This was another bad match with Barbarian being as standard of a villain as you can find (though he would keep doing this same role for the next fifteen years so he was doing something right) and the ending was awful. Can we please find something to help this show?

Post match Jones says they will be back. Can you not?

Buddy Roberts vs. Paul Ellering

Roberts is a Freebird and Ellering, in a neck brace here, is best known as the Road Warriors’ manager, though he did wrestle before an injury ended his career. Roberts jumps him to start and is knocked into the corner without much effort. A kick to the face has Roberts tied up in the ropes and it takes an assist from the referee to get him out.

Back up and Roberts goes after the knee, including wrapping it around the post. Not to be outdone, Ellering crotches him against the post to take over again. Roberts is fine enough to get in a shot to the neck though and the pace slows a bit. Forearms to the back set up a middle rope elbow to the back of the head and Roberts sends him neck first into the ropes. The piledriver is loaded up but the Road Warriors run in for the save.

Rating: D+. This still wasn’t great but it was better than the matches that came before it. It’s a lot more understandable that the match didn’t last long and had the ending it did given the circumstances they were under here. If nothing else, the Road Warriors running in was a nice bonus as the show has needed a burst of energy.

Post match the Warriors beat the heck out of Roberts, even hitting a Hart Attack of all things.

NWA Tag Team Titles: Long Riders vs. Rock N Roll Express

The Riders (Scott and Bill Irwin, a pair of bikers) are challenging. Robert and Scott start things off with Robert working on a headlock. Bill comes in to try a save and gets taken down with a headscissors at the same time Scott goes down with a headlock takeover. It’s off to Bill vs. Ricky with the latter’s armbar keeping things a bit slow. The champs start taking over on Bill with a full nelson and a dropkick that completely misses.

Bill finally gets in a slam but Roberts rolls through with it into a small package for no count. Instead it’s Ricky coming back in for a much better looking dropkick. It gets even worse with another full nelson into an armbar from Robert as this is one sided so far. A clothesline out of the corner finally puts Robert down and it’s back to Scott for a variety of choking. Bill’s middle rope elbow gets two and the fans give Robert the most polite pleas for a comeback I can ever remember seeing.

The bearhug is less well received, mainly because it’s a bearhug in the first good match of the card. Robert finally gets over to the corner for the hot tag to Ricky but the referee doesn’t see it (always a classic). The beatdown continues as I try to get my head around seeing Robert taking the beating for a change. Scott’s splash hits knees and the hot tag brings in Ricky, who starts punching before he gets back inside. Everything breaks down and it’s a double elbow to Robert, leaving Ricky to grab a sunset flip for the pin on Bill to retain at 11:04.

Rating: C. Definitely the best match of the night here as the Rock N Roll Express can work a formula like no team in history. I’m not sure why Robert was the one getting the heat here but it was a rather different change of pace from the traditional Express match. The Long Riders weren’t great but the Express knew just what to do against a team like them. Not a bad match, and great compared to everything else so far.

Post match the Express bails but the Riders say they aren’t leaving. Then they leave.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Boris Zhukov/Chris Markoff

Slaughter’s Americas Heavyweight and tags are required. Markoff if your classic Russian by way of Minnesota and from what I can find, has been wrestling since 1964. We get straight to the choking in the corner with Markoff just standing there with his hand on Slaughter’s throat while Boris holds him. We finally settle down to Boris being thrown hard into the corner and Slaughter choking Markoff down, all to a USA chant.

Markoff pulls out a belt of some kind and hits Slaughter in the head as this is already getting dull. Slaughter is busted open and choking with the belt ensues, though the USA chants don’t slow down a bit. The choking keeps going as this is either a No DQ match or the referee is rather blind. Boris joins Markoff for some stomping to put Slaughter on the timekeeper’s table as they’re not veering out of their comfort zone. Slaughter finally Hulks Up….and gets choked down by the belt again.

Boris’ clothesline gets two and he drops some elbows so Markoff can get two of his own. Forearms to the back just wake Slaughter up and he takes the belt for a real whipping. A big shot with the belt gets two but the heels take him down AGAIN, this time with a double backdrop. Slaughter sends Boris outside though and finishes Markoff with the Slaughter Cannon at 11:50.

Rating: D-. HOW IS THIS SHOW GETTING WORSE? The crowd came close to pushing this up a bit but it was just so much choking that cut off the momentum every single time. They needed to cut about four minutes out of this to make it work and even then it wasn’t going to be very good. This show is death so far and this show dragged it right back down even further.

US Title: Magnum TA vs. Tully Blanchard

I’ll give it an A+ if it’s even close to what they can do. Magnum is defending and Tully has Baby Doll with him. Tully gets punched in the face and gorilla pressed to start so it’s time for some Doll time on the floor. Back in and Magnum punches away some more with a great look of intensity. Tully goes villainous with a poke to the eye and a throat drop across the barricade though and the champ is down on the floor.

Kicking and stomping keep Magnum down as they’re doing an outstanding job of making you feel the hatred. Magnum gets back up and wins the slugout on the floor before winning another one back inside. They’re both busted open as Magnum gets two off a suplex. A superplex attempt is shoved off though and Tully starts in on the back for the first actual wrestling of the match. With that box checked off, Tully goes back to hammering on the cut but runs into a dropkick for two. The belly to belly finishes Tully completely clean at 11:11.

Rating: B-. The ending was as sudden and surprising as you could get as Magnum just hit the dropkick, threw some punches, and finished. You would expect more out of these two for an ending but maybe that’s just the modern fan in me talking. What mattered here was the intensity and you could feel the hatred between the two of them. That’s what sold the feud and it was on full display here. It’s a nice followup to their masterpiece at Starrcade and for a big house show match, it was more than good enough.

NWA World Title: Dusty Rhodes vs. Ric Flair

Flair is defending of course and it’s almost strange to see him in anything but the Big Gold Belt. Dusty mocks Flair’s slick back the hair taunt and dances a bit, much to the crowd’s delight. The first elbow to the head gives us an early Flair Flop and it’s already time for a breather. That means more yelling at the fans, which Flair has turned into an art form over the years.

Back in and the dancing punches have Flair in more trouble, meaning we need more breathing (after he accidentally rolls onto the timekeeper’s table). Back in again and Dusty grabs a hammerlock into the boot rake to the face as you can feel how into this the fans really are. A kick to the leg gets Flair out of trouble and it’s time to get back to the basics. Dusty staggers around the ring off the shots to the leg and Flair cannonballs down onto it as only he can make look perfect.

The referee gets in his face over the cheating to a nice reaction but Flair lets it go and puts on the Figure Four. Dusty manages to turn it over and Flair is smart enough to let go almost immediately. Back up and Flair misses a charge into the corner, meaning it’s time to beg off. Dusty’s running clothesline gets two as Flair puts a foot on the rope. Flair begs off again so Dusty hammers away and we’ve got some blood.

A sweep of the legs lets Flair grab a rollup with feet on the ropes for two, because he has to get in that classic cheating where he can. Dusty slaps on his own Figure Four until a rope is grabbed. Back up and Dusty throws him over the top for a second, only to have Flair hit the referee. Oh yeah you know where this is going. Dusty nails the elbow and a second referee comes in to count the pin at 14:50.

Rating: C. Their matches might not be great but you can’t deny the natural chemistry between these two. The fans are going to get behind Dusty because of the all time charisma and Flair is Flair. There’s a reason these two were as perfect together as they knew exactly what they were doing, but the constant Dusty Finishes made it hard to care. Dusty would finally win the title in July, so at least they did pay it off at some point.

Say it with me: and there’s no title change Flair was thrown over the top earlier on, meaning it’s a DQ.

Road Warriors vs. Russians

Ellering is here with the Warriors. That would be Ivan Koloff/Krusher Khrushchev with Nikita Koloff on the floor. Animal wastes no time in gorilla pressing Koloff and hands it off to Hawk for some right hands. Krusher comes in and cranks on a wristlock but Hawk shoves him away without much trouble. A big boot and backdrop have Krusher in trouble and Animal gets in a slam to make it even worse.

Koloff comes back in and slugs away at Hawk, who chokes him to take over instead. Animal even sneaks in a low blow to keep him down, followed by more choking. Krusher finally embraces his inner evil Russian by low bridging Animal to the floor for the first opening. We hit the neck crank but Animal rakes the eyes to escape, which is something so simple that few ever think of it.

That and a hot shot aren’t enough for the tag to Hawk though and it’s a double clothesline with Koloff for a double knockdown. Animal finally gets over for the tag and the house cleaning is on. Koloff is busted open and the blood all over Hawk’s chest is quite the visual. Everything breaks down and the Russians try to switch but Ellering stops the count and points out the switch, meaning it’s a DQ win for the Warriors at 10:45.

Rating: C-. It might not have been the best match in the world but the energy was there and this is another match that gives you a layup on paper. How can you not get fired up about an American power team against a trio of EVIL Russians (who happen to be monsters in their own right) in 1985? Hence why this feud lasted for a long time.

Post match the brawl continues with Ellering getting knocked down until the Warriors clear the ring.

AWA World Title: Rick Martel vs. Stan Hansen

Hansen is challenging. They slug it out at the bell, because slugging it out with STAN HANSEN is a good idea. Martel hits a crossbody to send him outside so Hansen throws in a chair, which is quickly disposed of. Back in and Martel armdrags him into an armbar, which is probably smarter than trading punches. Naturally the fans declare this boring, because they’re quite a fickle bunch.

Hansen breaks the armbar without much trouble and dumps him outside to keep up the brawling. That doesn’t last long as Martel is right back to the arm with a legdrop and a short armscissors. Hansen gets up and slams him down again as it’s the back vs. the arm so far. To mix things up a bit, Martel takes him down and drops a leg on the arm. At least this time he goes with an armbar for something a little different.

Hansen comes up with a backbreaker and some ax handles to the back. A gutwrench suplex gets two but Hansen’s splash hits raised knees. Martel’s own slam gets two but his back gives out on a suplex attempt. The abdominal stretch goes on until Martel can get out with a small package for two. His back is done though and Hansen puts on a Boston crab but leans his head onto the turnbuckle (completely legal) so Martel can’t kick out. Martel taps like crazy and finally gives up 14:00.

Rating: D+. The back vs. arm stuff was a fine idea but the execution was lame. There is only so much that you can get when the match is spent on a series of armbars and armscissors with Hansen hitting him in the back in between. The ending was very smart though and something I don’t remember seeing done again. Martel was a nice breath of air for the title but was anyone buying him as a top star?

Overall Rating: D. That’s how you end Christmas I guess. The ECW match was nothing, the AWA show was your usual boring event that only appealed to the hometown fans and the Pro Wrestling USA show was one of the worst things I can remember save for one or two bright spots. This is another situation where you can understand why things were hidden and it’s better if they stay that way in cases like this one.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Hidden Gems #9
Date: 1984, 1986, 1995

It’s the third of four sets of these Christmas shows and of course it’s more AWA because there’s nothing else to possibly air. These things are a complete hit and miss collection and while that can make for some fun surprises, it can also make for some absolutely terrible stuff. Let’s get to it.

AWA House Show
Date: December 25, 1984
Location: St. Paul Civic Center, St. Paul Minnesota
Attendance: 13,000
Commentator: Ron Trongard

Billy Robinson vs. Steve Olsonowski

Robinson is freshly heel and jumps Steve to start before sending him into the corner a few times. Steve gets sent into the buckle three times in a row and then tossed outside as Robinson is being more aggressive than usual. Back in and Robinson stomps away, followed by a loud right hand to put Steve on the floor. This time though Steve grabs Robinson’s leg and wraps it around the post to give himself an opening.

Robinson takes a breather of his own on the floor and calmly stands on the apron because he’s smart enough to know the referee will protect him there. A backbreaker takes Steve down but it bangs up Robinson’s knee all over again. It’s time to start on the knee for real with a hamstring stretch and an elbow onto the leg.

Robinson bails to the rope to get out of a leg crank so Steve elbows him out to the floor. We’re told it’s five minutes in at six minutes, which is a reversal from what you usually get. Back in and a sunset flip gives Steve two and the knee is damaged even worse. The leglock goes on again but Robinson is finally smart enough to use the good leg to break it up.

Steve is right back to the rope as they’re certainly sticking with the formula that has worked so far. They do it again at the ten (eleven) minute mark but this time Robinson goes to the eyes to get out. The comeback is on with Steve being knocked around the ring, including getting choked on the rope. Steve is right back with a backbreaker and dropkick for two but a middle rope elbow misses, giving Robinson the pin at 13:01.

Rating: C. I was getting into this one and would have liked it more if they had a few different things going on instead of the same formula over and over. The ending didn’t help either as Robinson literally just covered after Steve messed up. I’ve seen a good bit out of Olsonowski lately and he’s a steady hand in the ring, which is something you can always use.

Steve Regal vs. Baron Von Raschke

Say it with me: not THAT Steve Regal. We hit the stall button to start as Regal yells at a fan and then chills in the corner a bit. Baron goes outside to shake hands with the fan, which takes enough time that Regal hits Baron in the face to get things going. Some stomps keep Baron in trouble on the way back in but is fine enough to send Steve into the buckle a few times.

A headlock slows Baron down and an elbow to the head sets up the chinlock. The five minute call is accurate this time as the clock must have been fixed. Baron fights up and hits one heck of a backdrop to get another breather. The threat of the Claw sends Regal bailing to the floor but he comes back in and offers a scared handshake.

Some stomping in the corner sends Regal outside again so he comes back in (again) and hammers away. We go back to the chinlock and then a headlock to mix things up a bit. Oh wait never mind as the chinlock goes on again. Baron finally (and I do mean finally) breaks it up with an atomic drop….but Regal punches him in the face and puts on a front facelock.

Regal gets caught choking and the hold is broken so it goes right back on. With five minutes left, Regal sends him head first into the mat a few times, causing Baron to Baron Up. A backdrop takes care of that but Regal misses an elbow so Raschke can really start the comeback. The Claw goes on and Regal gives up at 17:13.

Rating: D-. Nope. This is the definition of the old school match that is nothing but laying around in holds for the most part. There’s nothing going on in those chinlocks and headlocks with both guys just laying there on the mat for a few minutes at a time. If they weren’t doing that then they were stalling on the floor, making this a truly mind numbing experience. That kind of a match can work and it can work very well, but this was terrible.

Mr. Saito vs. Jim Brunzell

Joined in progress with Saito coming back inside and getting taken down by the knee. Saito reverses a leglock into a cross armbreaker so Brunzell rolls around trying to break it for the better part of two minutes. The BORING chants are on, which you knew was coming after the previous match. Brunzell reverses into a leglock from behind but Saito gets up and rakes the eyes for the break.

We hit the ten minute mark, meaning they skipped about five and a half minutes. The sleeper has Brunzell in trouble, but unlike the Baron he does more than just sit there, which already makes this match better. A rope gets Brunzell out of trouble so the sleeper goes on again. Brunzell’s comeback is countered with a ram into the buckle and it’s time for him to take a breather on the floor.

Saito goes after him and gets pulled down so Brunzell can wrap the leg around the post (same sequence, even the same post, as the Robinson match). The Figure Four goes on (good one too) and it’s kind of a weird visual since Saito wrestles barefoot. With five minutes left, Saito grabs Brunzell’s leg to break things up but opts to turn it over and hurt Brunzell’s leg instead. Brunzell hammers away on the mat with forearms to the head and the Figure Four goes on again.

It’s reversed again, with Trongard being surprised that it would hurt Brunzell. I’m still not sure on the physics of that one. Brunzell doesn’t realize that he’s next to the rope and spends forever turning it over again for the break. The abdominal stretch keeps Brunzell in trouble until he reverses into one of his own with thirty seconds left. That’s broken up as well and Saito blocks a sunset flip until time expires at 14:17 shown of 20:00.

Rating: D+. This was still dull but they did a far, far better job of keeping the fans entertained. The leg stuff was the same thing that happened to Robinson but the effort here made it better than the previous match. It also helps that most of the matches on this show have come close to the time limit so the draw wasn’t the most obvious thing in the world. Still kind of dull, but light years better than it could have been.

Post match they keep brawling until the official decision.

Curt Hennig vs. Nick Bockwinkel

Hennig would explode into a major star down the road around here. Again joined in progress but it seems to be right after the bell. Bockwinkel starts with the hard forearms to the face, followed by the knees to the ribs to put Hennig outside. Hennig’s head is rammed into the apron a few times as it’s all Bockwinkel so far. Some more forearms off the apron keep Hennig down until he finally pulls Bockwinkel down by the knee (learn a new match layout) and hammers away at the five minute mark (Yeah they clipped all of three seconds. Why not just show the opening bell?).

This time it’s Bockwinkel being knocked outside and it’s a suplex to bring him back in. A double clothesline knocks both guys down and it’s Bockwinkel up with some knees to the ribs for two. Bockwinkel’s sleeper is broken up with a ram into the corner and it’s time to hammer away on Hennig in the corner. Hennig comes back with right hands and a headknocker (picture the start of a piledriver but Hennig jumps up and lands on the back of Bockwinkel’s head), setting up a sunset flip for two.

With that not working, Hennig gets two off a sunset flip. That was close so to mix it up a bit, Hennig sunset flips him for a near fall. Tired of having his sunset flipped, Bockwinkel takes him down into a Figure Four, which is turned over. For some reason Hennig grabs the rope while it’s reversed, suggesting that physics don’t work the same around here. Bockwinkel continues the AWA philosophy of “if a hold is broken, put it right back on” so Hennig makes the rope even faster this time. Bockwinkel tries it a third time and knowing what’s coming, Hennig small packages him for the pin at 14:21.

Rating: C. The energy was better here and they had a much better story throughout with Bockwinkel trying everything he could to finish Hennig but not being able to pull it off. Hennig was still very young here but it was nice to see them trying to make a big star for a change. He clearly had all the tools save for the experience though and pushing him made sense.

Post match the livid Bockwinkel sends him head first into the post to blow off some steam. Hennig is busted open and Bockwinkel adds a pair of piledrivers. Referees and wrestlers break it up but Bockwinkel manages to add in a chair shot to the head. They break it up again and Bockwinkel gets over again to stomp away. The post match beatdown was over five minutes long.

Greg Gagne/Jerry Blackwell vs. Masked Superstar/King Kong Brody

It’s a brawl to start with Gagne kneeing Superstar outside. Brody kicks Blackwell in the face and takes over. The villains alternate with their boots on Blackwell until Superstar puts on a front facelock. Superstar gets shoved away though and it’s off to Gagne for his weird dropkick on Brody.

Blackwell chokes from the apron but Brody is fine enough to block a monkey flip and put Gagne in trouble. The piledriver is broken up but Brody sends Gagne right back into the corner. Superstar’s flying headbutt sends Gagne outside and it’s time to walk around the ring a few times.

Back in and Gagne slips over for the tag to Blackwell so house can be cleaned. Blackwell drops an elbow and the big splash for two on Brody. Stereo dropkicks (Blackwell’s is a jumping foot to the stomach) put the villains down and Blackwell powerslams Brody but the ref gets bumped. With the ref down, an ax handle knocks Blackwell out for the pin at 10:29.

Rating: C-. This was energetic but not very good. One of the most consistent problems with the AWA shows is I have no idea how we got to this match. The commentary very rarely offers any details as it’s all about the wrestling, which is fine but not the most informative thing in the world.

Post match Blackwell gets beaten down even more until Greg Gagne makes the save. Blackwell headbutts the referee for not being there to count his pin.

A Tag Team Title match with the Road Warriors defending against the Fabulous Ones in a no contest is cut here.

AWA World Title: Jimmy Garvin vs. Rick Martel

Martel is defending and Garvin has Precious in his corner. Trongard says that this is a repeat of something that happened before. Now we’re not told what that thing is, but something did indeed happen. Garvin starts fast with some knees to the ribs so Martel snaps off a dropkick to send him outside. An early Precious distraction doesn’t work as Martel grabs an atomic drop and punches away.

The hammerlocking begins with Martel adding a knee drop for a bonus. Since this is the AWA, the hold stays on for a few minutes, though at least Martel keeps moving to keep things a little more fresh. Garvin is right back with an armbar of his own, followed by some legdrops to the arm. The champ comes back with his own armdrag into an armbar, which is almost all we’ve seen in the match so far.

A few kicks send Garvin outside and he wants a timeout. The delay seems to work very well for him as he comes back in and takes over with a chinlock. Martel’s comeback is cut off with another chinlock into the reverse chinlock for a special twist. Martel fights up and gets sent over the top, which Garvin denies and actually gets away with thanks to Precious.

Another comeback works a little bit better this time as Martel hiptosses him down and gets in a long series of right hands to FINALLY wake the fans up. A slingshot splash gives Martel two and he hammers away in the corner until the referee pulls him off. That lets Precious slip in a foreign object so Garvin can knock Martel cold for the pin and the title at 17:00.

Rating: D. While there were worse matches on the card, this was another dull one full of chinlocks and rest holds that killed the interest. Martel was trying and had his good, fired up comeback, but he doesn’t feel like a top star and this didn’t feel like a World Title match. You know the ending isn’t going to stand either, which makes this a pretty weak way to end the show.

And never mind as matchmaker Wally Karbo reverses the decision to keep the title on Martel to end the show. That makes sense as you wouldn’t want a face looking strong around here. Of the seven matches on the card, the faces went 2-3-2 with the two wins coming either via DQ with Martel after he was pinned or via fluke by Hennig, who was beaten senseless after. Even when the young faces won, they didn’t exactly look good in the process. How AWA of the show.

Thankfully we can get away from the AWA a bit and jump ten years forward to Smoky Mountain, which I haven’t seen much of over the years. I’m not completely sure when or where this was filmed, as the event was held over several nights in different cities. The date listed on the Network is two weeks later, so I’d assume this is the version that eventually aired on television.

Christmas Chaos 1994
Date: January 7, 1995
Commentators: Jim Ross, Les Thatcher, Buddy Landel

Opening sequence.

Yep it’s a studio show.

The announcers welcome us to the show and aren’t happy to see Buddy (TV Champion), who has bought the TV time. He wants to talk about what happened on Christmas night in Knoxville and as luck would have it, here we go.

SMW Title: Dirty White Boy vs. Buddy Landel

Landel is challenging and his TV Title isn’t on the line. Joined in progress with White Boy in trouble and Landel yelling at the fans in between stomping. The Figure Four (because Landel was a Ric Flair knockoff/tribute, albeit very talented as well) is broken up twice in a row and White Boy grabs a DDT for a breather. Landel pulls out a chain but White Boy takes it away and knocks Landel cold for the DQ at 2:25 shown.

Post match White Boy beats him up even more.

Landel remembers beating the White Boy’s brains in and wants a rematch on January 28. White Boy wants to face Jerry Lawler and Landel would pick him too because White Boy knows he can’t beat Landel. The White Boy is on his way out here so Landel suddenly remembers a conference call in Los Angeles.

We get a video from Jerry Lawler in a locker room where he finds a drunken man underneath a pile of clothes, which apparently is the drunken White Boy. That’s typical for a horrible place like Knoxville, which is the dumb end of Tennessee. Lawler is coming to Knoxville at Super Saturday Night Fever because he wants the title that White Boy holds out the window of his pickup truck when he rides around with the Dirty White Girl.

Back in the studio, the White Boy talks about how he isn’t scared of Lawler or Landel so he’ll face both of them at Super Saturday Night. Landel’s match can be non-title though and we’ll see how he likes that.

Bruiser Bedlam (Oh dear what a character. Convicted of assault, drug trafficking and blowing up a police station, plus accused of several murders. He also pinned Randy Savage.) calls Jim Ross an idiot so Ross throws him out.

From December 5 in Princeton, West Virginia.

Cactus Jack vs. Bruiser Bedlam

Bedlam is having issues with his manager Jim Cornette. They trade shoulders to start and that’s a BANG BANG from Jack. Landel jumps in on commentary to rant about how awesome he is as Landel grabs a headlock. Bedlam slugs Jack out to the floor, which just seems to fire him up. Back in and Jack hammers away with forearms in the corner, followed by a chair to the back. As Landel rants about his upcoming match being non-title, Bedlam powerslams Jack for two and frustration sets in. Some brass knuckles to the head knock Jack silly but here is Brian Lee to point it out to the referee, meaning it’s a DQ at 5:27.

Rating: D+. They beat each other up here for a little while and that’s all it needed to be. There was no point in trying to have a wrestling match here so it was two brawlers fighting instead. That’s how things should have gone and the match was entertaining enough. I wasn’t wild on the finish, but the rest was entertaining enough.

From Christmas night in Knoxville.

Chris Candido/Boo Bradley vs. Tracy Smothers/Cactus Jack

Falls Count Anywhere. Tracy is replacing Brian Lee, who had transportation problems. If Bradley (Balls Mahoney) doesn’t take care of Jack, Tammy Fytch (Sunny) will THROW BRADLEY’S CAT OFF A BRIDGE. They don’t play around here. Candido chairs Smothers off the apron and Jack is in trouble. Smothers comes back in to pull Jack out of the way, causing Bradley’s top rope splash to hit Candido instead. That’s enough for Jack to steal the pin at 57 seconds shown.

Post match Candido yells at Boo, who the fans get behind. Candido slaps Boo and gets knocked down but here’s Fytch with the cat. With Bradley taken out by a chain, Fytch puts the cat back in the bag and runs off, sending everyone in a chase. They come back into the arena with Candido carrying the bag (I think you get the idea here) and Bradley hammering away. Fytch hairsprays Bradley, allowing Candido to drop the top rope leg on the bag. Candido and Fytch leave and Bradley is devastated (I mean, not as devastated as the cat) so here’s Cactus Jack to console him. Rather hot angle here.

Candido and Fytch have both been suspended and are rather unhappy. When that ends, Candido has to face Bradley.

Jack and Bradley have a funeral for the cat with Jack telling Bradley that he has to step out of Candido’s shadow. Bradley says Candido is his enemy now and Candido won’t like him when he’s angry.

From Christmas night in Knoxville again.

Tag Team Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Gangstas

The Gangstas are defending and Jim Cornette is managing the Express to make sure the sky is falling in Knoxville. Joined in progress again with everything breaking down and New Jack hitting Gibson with a slap jack. New Jack goes after Cornette though and it’s a tennis racket shot from Morton for the pin and the titles at 1:18 shown.

Post match the Gangstas beat down the Express but Cornette makes the save with the racket n one of the most bizarre scenes I can remember in a long time. The Gangstas get back up and destroy Cornette as Gangstas’ associate D’Lo Brown comes in to help with the beating. Cactus Jack and the Dirty White Boy make the save.

In the back, the Express praises Cornette for doing what he promised to do and then taking a heck of a beating. Cornette now has an open invitation to manage the Express against the Gangstas anytime. Cornette staggers in, COVERED in blood, saying he needs a phone.

We go to Cornette’s home a few days later. Cornette talks about wanting to remember Christmas night so he can hate someone. After twelve years of fighting the Express, he decided to find a team that could destroy them once and for all. For once, he had them feeling like they owed him something because he helped them win the Tag Team Titles. He thought about turning on them but decided to be a man of his word.

Cornette knew that the Gangstas would destroy them after the match and he would have a ringside seat for a Christmas treat. Then the fans started begging Cornette to help them and his ego took over. For about twenty two seconds, he beat the Gangstas down but then reality took the ego’s place. After that, all he remembers is pain and it’s all from the Gangstas.

When Jack and the White Boy made the save, Cornette got a round of applause. Now he hates the Gangstas but before he left the building that night, he called some friends. The Heavenly Bodies are coming back to help him deal with the Gangstas. They’ll be back on January 28 for Super Saturday Night Fever but before we get there, Cornette wants to talk to Commissioner Bob Armstrong to get the Bodies’ suspension lifted. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Now this was an old school southern promo, which did exactly what it needed to do. Cornette explained everything and set up stuff for the future in a great angle. I love the idea of bringing someone in to continue the angle as it’s such a territory style which works very well. That’s how you keep people coming back and this worked very well.

The announcers hype up next week’s show to wrap things up. This is edited off the Network version.

Since I can’t escape them, back to the AWA!

Brawl In St. Paul
Date: December 25, 1986
Location: St. Paul Civic Center, St. Paul, Minnesota
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Ron Trongard, Dick Jonckowski

It seems that we’re skipping Buddy Wolf vs. Buck Zumhofe going to a fifteen minute draw. Aww shucks.

Earthquake Ferris vs. Brian Knobbs

Yes that Brian Knobbs and no not that Earthquake. Knobbs is still very green here and calls Ferris fat. That earns him a slam from the bigger Ferris and it’s time for a breather on the floor. Back in and the name calling continues with Knobbs telling the fans that Ferris is a worthless piece of meat. Ferris slams him down but misses the elbow, meaning Knobbs can start in on the arm. Some legdrops to the arm and a twist around the rope have Ferris in trouble. He’s fine enough to whip Knobbs into the corner for a running splash and the Ferris Wheel (airplane spin) sets up another splash for the pin at 4:26.

Rating: D. Not the best start to the show as Ferris isn’t quite the most thrilling big man and Knobbs on his own is holding up a bit too much (needs to Sag some more). The fans liked Ferris well enough though so it worked for an opener, but it’s not something that holds up all that well.

Post match Ferris gives a rather “I’m happy to win” promo and sucks up to the crowd.

Boris Zhukov vs. Steve Olsonowski

Zhukov has Sheik Adnan Al-Kassie. After a weapons check, Boris hides in the corner and then on the floor. It doesn’t last that long as we hear about great football days at the University of Minnesota. Steve grabs a headlock and then a headlock takeover as we’re on the mat early in this one. The announcers use this as a way to subtly talk about the AWA action figures (or dolls in this case), though Boris’ head going into the corner and possibly the post gets their attention.

Another flying headlock takeover gets two as Boris gets caught on the mat again. The fans start chanting something as the headlock keeps going, though at least they’re moving and trying to do something with it. They get back up with Steve losing a top wristlock and getting his arm sent into the corner. The arm is wrapped around the rope as a fan is LOSING IT over the referee not doing enough to help Steve. He’s so loud that the camera looks at him for a bit as Boris pulls on an armbar.

A headbutt lets Boris wrap the arm around the post and it’s right back to the armbar. Back up and Steve misses a charge into the buckle, meaning it’s a different kind of arm crank for a change. Steve finally makes the comeback with chops and a backdrop for two. An atomic drop gets the same, this time with the Sheik putting the foot on the rope. Steve misses a middle rope elbow so Boris drops his own for the pin (a fast one at that, with Sheik shoving the foot off the rope) at 13:10.

Rating: D. This could have been a lot worse as Steve is someone I’ve started to like as I watch these things. He wrestles a nice enough match and can do all the basics quite well. Boris was your run of the mill Russian heel and while the arm stuff made sense and even played into the finish, it went on for a long time and wasn’t exactly interesting.

Greg Gagne/Leon White/Scott Hall vs. Larry Zbyszko/Super Ninja/Mr. Saito

You might know White better as Vader. Larry has been having some issues with referees as of late and got to pick his own referee here. We wait around for some reason but hang on as Larry needs to yell about a man being wrongly accused and having to overcome the system. Ninja kicks Gagne down to start and follows with a thrown before it’s already off to Larry. This doesn’t go very well for the villains as Greg gets two off a backslide. The referee (who looks to be Jerry Sags of the Nasty Boys and yes indeed it is) has to deal with White though, allowing Saito to kick away in the corner.

We hit the choking on the mat for far longer than any human should be able to survive before it’s off to Ninja for a missed legdrop. That’s not enough for the hot tag though as Ninja kicks Gagne down and grabs a nerve hold. See, he uses holds like that because he’s from Japan and that’s what masked Japanese villains are supposed to do. Gagne kicks Ninja away and does the same to Larry, allowing the tag to White.

House is cleaned in a hurry and a running powerslam gets two on Saito with Ninja making the save. Zbyszko comes in and gets crushed in the corner, followed by the big splash for two more as Saito makes a save this time. Hall comes in for the first time to a nice reaction and Saito bows to him. Thankfully Hall doesn’t go for it and grabs a headlock instead. A shot to the knee puts Hall down but he’s fine enough to hit a knee lift for two on Ninja.

The villains change again though and tie Hall up in the ropes so Zbyszko can….get picked up and carried over to the good corner. Gagne comes in and it’s Zbyszko in trouble with everyone taking a shot at him. Since the tags need to continue without anything happening, Saito comes back in for a Scorpion Deathlock/Figure Four hybrid to start in on Hall’s leg. Ninja tries an Indian Deathlock but gets small packaged for two instead.

It’s back to Zbyszko, who gets slammed down because he’s the very weak link of the team. Gagne comes in again and gets beaten up as well as this just keeps going. Saito drives him into the corner and stomps away, allowing Zbyszko to come in and actually not screw something up! This time it’s an abdominal stretch but Gagne hiptosses his way out of it and we look at a fan telling Zbyszko that he sucks. Hall and Saito come in with Hall grabbing a bearhug but Ninja makes the save.

That earns him a bearhug but Saito throws salt in Hall’s eyes for….I’m not sure actually but the match ends at 15:41. Saito covers him while grabbing the trunks but he lets go, then people try to break it up, then the camera cuts away and we hear three slaps on the mat. Before the third goes down though, another referee (Scott LeDoux, a regular wrestler) comes in to say something to the original referee. Zbyszko comes after LeDoux and it’s a brawl with the good guys clearing the ring.

Rating: D+. Well that was a lot. This was fifteen minutes of people just going back and forth with nothing tying the match together and no flow to it whatsoever. Everyone was fighting everyone and while the energy was there, the ending was a mess and I’m still not sure what happened.

Post match the villains leave and White beats up the original referee. LeDoux talks but I can’t make out a word he’s saying. The announcers say they don’t know who won the match either. They try to recap everything and you have to give them points for hitting the chaos they were shooting for.

AWA World Title: Curt Hennig vs. Nick Bockwinkel

Bockwinkel is defending and Billy Robinson is guest referee. They grapple to start with neither getting anywhere early on. The announcers are still talking about the six man tag and don’t remember Ninja pinning Hall. That’s probably because Saito was the one covering him but that’s just a detail. Bockwinkel hits some shoulders but gets slammed down for one. That’s enough to send Bockwinkel to the floor for a breather, which makes a lot of sense for him.

Back in and Bockwinkel grabs a top wristlock as we cut to a rather bored looking fan. The hold stays on for a good while, which also makes a lot of sense for Bockwinkel. They go down to the mat as a few fans shouting from the crowd are drowning out commentary. Hennig reverses into a hammerlock and starts in on the arm with the Bockwinkel not being able to bridge out of it. The hold is released and Hennig hammers away instead before sending him into the buckle over and over.

Bockwinkel bails to the floor but this time pulls Hennig down and wraps the leg around the post. Back in and it’s off to the leglock, which again goes on for a good while. Hennig: “My leg! My leg!” Another Figure Four attempt is reversed into a small package for two so Bockwinkel wraps the leg around the rope. Back up and Hennig knocks him to the floor, meaning it’s time for Bockwinkel’s arm to go around the post.

The arm is fine enough for Bockwinkel to ram Hennig into the buckle a few times as the announcers remind us that Robinson is a thing in this match. Some knees to the ribs give Bockwinkel two but Hennig goes right back to the arm. We’re clipped to the two of them fighting to the floor with Bockwinkel ramming him into the apron a few times. Back in and a forearm give the champ two, followed by Hennig’s sunset flip for the same.

The good looking dropkick gets the same, though the camera was on the crowd at the kickout for no logical reason. Hennig’s ax handle (finisher) gets two more but the referee gets bumped (oh here we go). Hennig hits something off camera for no count and has to counter the piledriver with a backdrop over the top (there it is). Back in and Hennig slams him (Dick: “That youth is paying off.” Good thing Curt invested in it then.) to set up the missile dropkick but Robinson calls for the bell and the DQ at 19:18 shown. You can feel the energy go out of the arena as they know what’s happening again.

Rating: B. These guys were getting going and once you get around the long form rest holds, you can see a good story in there with the scientific veteran against the young athlete. Hennig was having to get in his shots here and there but Bockwinkel had the better overall plan. It made for a good match but the ending killed it, as always in the AWA. Also, what does it say that they ran this match on two out of three Christmas nights

Post match Hennig calls that BS refereeing and the fans agree. The announcer explains the DQ and tells the fans how lucky they were to see such a great match. Hennig continues to rant until Verne Gagne comes in to say it’s up to the referee’s interpretation of the rules. It never ceases to amaze me how the AWA seems to enjoy taking away the fun and energy from the fans at every chance. Bockwinkel says there’s no such thing as being fair in wrestling so Hennig needs to learn from his lessons.

Jimmy Snuka vs. Colonel DeBeers

DeBeers is from South Africa and tries to swing his flag at Jimmy, earning himself a running headbutt. A shot to the face cuts Snuka down though and DeBeers stomps away, which just annoys Snuka a bit more. The headbutts have DeBeers in trouble and he’s even busted open. You don’t do that in a match against someone like Snuka, who hits a top rope right hand to the head. Snuka hammers away and shoves the referee for the DQ at 3:37.

Rating: D. I’ve always liked DeBeers a little bit but this was just a match for the sake of a match. The lack of time didn’t help either as they flew through the whole thing, which made it feel more like an angle advancement than anything else. That’s fine, but it’s kind of a weird place on the card for such a thing.

Post match Snuka keeps beating him up but DeBeers bails before the Superfly Splash.

We take a break to build the cage.

Tag Team Titles: Midnight Rockers vs. Doug Somers/Buddy Rose

Somers/Rose are defending and it’s in a cage with Billy Robinson as guest referee again. Joined in progress with the Rockers sending the champs into the cage as Sherri Martel (champs’ manager) yells about various things. Somers is busted open early as Sherri is literally trying to chew into the cage. Another ram into the cage gives Shawn two on Somers so it’s off to Rose.

That means Rose gets to go into the cage as well, drawing blood of his own. Marty comes in for a situation that even he shouldn’t be able to mess up, meaning it’s another whip into the cage for Somers. It’s already back to Shawn for a top rope shot to the head as this is completely one sided so far. Rose finally rakes Marty’s eyes for a breather but gets crotched on top to put the champs in trouble again. Somers breaks up a cover at two and the champs…still don’t take over as Marty slugs away with right hands to get out of limited trouble.

Marty powerslams Somers and Shawn hits the top rope elbow for two as this is a very long opening beatdown. After a hard stare and some spitting at Rose, Marty runs Somers’ head against the cage for the sake of some more pain. Sherri wants it stopped as Shawn rubs Somers’ blood on his face. A headbutt below the belt finally gives Somers a breather and Rose sends Michaels into the cage. Rose’s DDT (called a front piledriver) gets two on Shawn with Marty having to make a save.

Somers sends him into the cage as Shawn is very busted as well. Sherri shouts what sounds like some rather non-PG slurs at Shawn as the beating continues. A fan throws a drink on Sherri as Rose gets the slowest two in the world from Robinson. Shawn gets in a headbutt and knee lift to drop Somers, allowing him to fall into the tag to Jannetty. Rose tries to get out so Marty pulls him back over the top. With Rose down, Marty hits a high crossbody on Somers for the pin and the titles at 17:21.

Rating: B-. The blood helped a lot here and you can tell there’s a history between the teams. The rematch of this was on Shawn’s From The Vault DVD and that one was a lot of fun too so you know they have something special between the teams. I liked this more than I was expecting to and it made for a good main event.

Post match Somers and Rose knock Shawn outside and beat the heck out of Jannetty. Shawn finally gets in and makes the save as the champs leave. Yeah Somers and Rose are the champs because this wasn’t a title match. See, I thought “it’s a battle for the Tag Team Titles” meant it was a title match and the fans seemed to agree with me. But that might be fun so we can’t have that, especially when the Rockers would get the titles less than a month later.

Overall Rating: D+. I don’t know how much more of these AWA Christmas shows I can take. They’re just not my style and take so long to get through with one boring match after another. Some of the bigger stuff was good but those lower level matches are nightmares most of the time. SMW was good stuff, though it’s the kind of thing that is going to take some time to get used to. There are worse sets of shows, but these weren’t exactly strong.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

WCCW TV
Date: May 13, 1986
Location: Sportatorium, Dallas, Texas
Commentator: Bill Mercer

We’re back at the regular show this time and that means it’s time for more of the Von Erichs dominating the Texas world. I’m never quite sure what to expect from these shows other than a white hot crowd, though the wrestling is often a mixed bag. Hopefully going back in time a year should help the overall feel though, which really didn’t work last time. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Bill Mercer runs down the card.

Jerry Allen vs. Steve Simpson

Simpson, billed from Africa, looks like Matt Riddle crossed with Kerry Von Erich. In keeping with this series, we hear about the third annual Memorial Parade of Champions because I can’t avoid those shows. Allen works on the hammerlock to start but Simpson slips out of it to give us a standoff. Mercer completely ignores the match to talk about the Parade of Champions matches, including the Freebirds vs. the Von Erichs (including LANCE). They go the mat for some fast reversals until Allen makes the rope.

Back up and Simpson sends him flying with a hiptoss, followed by an atomic drop to put Allen outside. That doesn’t last long and it’s a delayed vertical suplex as Mercer’s Parade commercial continues. Allen grabs the abdominal stretch for some cranking, followed by a good clothesline. The chinlock goes on and triggers the comeback, including a high crossbody to finish Allen at 7:12.

Rating: D+. This solely existed for the purpose of letting Mercer talk about the Parade of Champions, which got really annoying in a hurry. The match wasn’t very good, though it worked well for an opener. Simpson had a good look and would be easy to cheer, which Allen seemed like a fine lower card heel.

Rick Rude vs. Brian Adias

Neither Rude’s World Title or Adias’ Texas Title are on the line and Percy Pringle (Paul Bearer) is in Rude’s corner. Feeling out process to start with Rude trying a slam but getting reversed into a quick O’Connor Roll for two. After some yelling from Pringle, Rude gets in a suplex to shake Adias up a bit. The fans get behind Brian though and Rude is shaken up again as the action slows down again.

Rude takes him down into an armbar, followed by the stomping to keep Adias down. Adias’ shoulder is sent into the bottom buckle and it’s off to the chinlock. Back up and Adias gets in an elbow for no count so Rude throws him outside. Adias gets back in and tries a flying headscissors but gets sent throat first onto the top rope. A hard clothesline finishes Adias at 6:59.

Rating: D. This wasn’t very good as Rude still looked pretty green and not worthy of being World Champion. That being said, he wasn’t exactly supposed to be World Champion as the company pulled out of the NWA and turned its top title into the World Title while Rude was holding it, so it’s not as illogical as it seems. Still though, this was pretty rough as there’s no story to the match with little more than one move happening after another.

We look at the history between Sunshine and Missy Hyatt, the two blondes who had some awesome catfights. It’s stuff like Missy cheating Sunshine’s wrestler out of a win so Sunshine sprays her (and her white dress) with ketchup. Missy of course came back by hitting her with a pie. This was never meant to be about wrestling and they made no secret about it, which made the feud that much better. Yeah it’s trash, but it’s fun trash.

Steve Regal vs. Kerry Von Erich

As I always have to say, no not that Regal. You can hear the girls freak out when Kerry’s jacket comes off and even the announcer has to acknowledge it. Regal drives him up against the ropes to start and gets sent outside for his efforts. Back in and Kerry forearms him into a headlock takeover as they’re not exactly going at full speed so far. Another shot to the face sends Regal bailing to the floor, followed by a hard whip into the corner back inside.

Kerry runs into a boot though and Regal hits a middle rope elbow to the head. The required chinlock goes on but Kerry easily fights out and grabs the stomach claw (exactly what it sounds like). Kerry even lifts him up and then takes him back down with the claw still on, which is actually enough for the pin at 5:32.

Rating: D+. Just a step above a squash here and that’s perfectly fine as Kerry was over like free beer in a frat house. Seeing the popularity that the Von Erichs had is really hard sometimes as they were the most insanely popular guys in the world and then the whole thing got screwed up. There was a world’s worth of potential there and it never came to full power because of a bunch of dumb decisions. It’s so sad and there’s a reason they’re one of the biggest cautionary tales in all of wrestling history.

Bruiser Brody/Missing Link vs. Terry Gordy/Great Kabuki

Hayes is in Kabuki/Gordy’s corner and Sunshine is in the other. I’m not sure if this is joined in progress or not but the brawl is on as soon as we come back with Bruiser and Gordy fighting to the back, leaving Link and Kabuki to fight in the ring. We do get an opening bell and the eternally serious Marc Lowrence gives us all the information, even as the brawling continues.

Link fights out of a nerve hold and stomps on Kabuki’s foot for the break. After another nerve hold is broken, Link headbutts him in the corner, which Mercer thinks he learned from a brontosaurus. We slow down a lot as Link yells at Hayes and knocks Kabuki out of the air. Kabuki rakes the eyes and we’re told that Gordy and Brody will NOT be returning to the ring. How nice of them to be on camera for thirty seconds like that. We hit the nerve hold again but Kabuki misses a charge into the corner. That’s enough for him as he brings in the nunchucks and knocks Link silly for the DQ at 6:42.

Rating: D+. This could have been a lot better, but given that it was pretty much just a singles match after a quick opening, there was only so much that could get out of this. Link was certainly unique though and that energy carried a lot of the match. Brody vs. Gordy would have helped a lot, but if you want to see that, go to the Parade of Champions.

Post match Kabuki chokes Link down some more so Sunshine throws in a chair.

A quick preview of next week ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. For a quick TV show, this wasn’t very good. As an ad for the Parade of Champions, it was rather annoying. It felt like almost everything was about the big show with the announcer ignoring large portions of the matches for the sake of talking about the show. That gets annoying in a hurry as they already have me watching this show. Stop trying to make me watch another one.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

NWA Polynesian Championship Wrestling
Date: August 9, 1986
Location: Aloha Stadium, Honolulu, Hawaii
Commentators: Ripper Collins, Dunbar Wakayama

How in the world could I not do a show like this? We’re back in the territory days and way out in Hawaii, where you don’t get a lot of wrestling. I have no idea what to expect here and that’s one of the fun things about watching a show like this. From what I can tell this is part of a big show, as Aloha Stadium holds 50,000 people. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence with the announcers welcoming us to the show in narration.

National Anthem, so you know it’s a major show.

A sign says this is A Hot Summer Night II. Good enough.

House show ad.

Robert Toronto vs. Joe Solo

Someone named Mighty Hilo was announced to face Solo here so Toronto is a replacement. Not a good sign less than three minutes after the previous match was announced. Having maybe 50 fans on camera isn’t a good sign either. Feeling out process to start with a few clean breaks, which commentary insists that the fans enjoy.

They botch….I think a backdrop with Solo taking a headbutt to the ribs instead of being backdropped. It’s off to a headlock to slow things down instead and avoid any more mistakes. Back up and Solo tries his own backdrop but falls down onto Toronto as they’re not exactly working smoothly. Toronto goes with a suplex instead and gets the pin at 2:36. That’s one of the worst short matches I can remember in a long time.

Kini Popo #1/Kini Popo #2 vs. Keith Hart/Smith Hart

The Harts are billed from Los Angeles because….I have no idea really. The commentators then say they’re from a Canadian family just to make sure the confusion reigns. The Popos jump them from behind to start and get sent into each other so the Canadian Californians can clear the ring. Back in and the announcers talk about the Popos being billed from all around the world without seeing the irony.

#2 starts with Keith as the announcers ignore the match to talk about a wrestling journalist coming to Hawaii for a celebration. The Popos take Keith into the corner for their first advantage. Keith gets in a shoulder and armdrag as the camera is WAY too zoomed in, to the point where they lose the action when anyone runs. Thankfully they zoom out as #1 takes over with some knees in the corner.

We get an inset interview from a woman named Spicy, who has been training for a match against a woman named Killer Tomato. With that out of the way, we come back to Smith cranking on #1’s arm before it’s back to #2. A chinlock on Smith takes us to a break and stops the announcers from talking about wrestling in Atlanta even more. Back with everyone brawling on the floor and the Popos getting the better of it as the announcers call Smith Owen.

We settle down to Keith dropping a knee on #2 as the announcers say that’s Owen again. Is it really that hard to say the right name? Keith gets caught in the corner but comes back with a knee to #2’s ribs. It’s starting to rain as Smith comes in and gets caught in a leglock. Everything breaks down again and the referee throws it out at 12:13.

Rating: D+. This was a hard one to get into and I can’t say I’m all that surprised. Some of the Hart Brothers are a bit of an acquired taste and that was certainly the case with Keith. It didn’t help that they had a run of the mill set of opponents and there was nothing that made me care about the match in the slightest. Much like the entire show so far.

Post match, the brawling continues with the Harts clearing the ring.

Killer Tomato, the California Women’s Champion, has faced Spicy before and she’ll be ready tonight.

Super Sakalia vs. Richie Magnet

Magnet is said to be the 1984 Rookie of the Year and he’s not happy because his original opponent has been replaced. Magnet shoulders him down and grabs a headlock takeover but Sakalia fights up without much effort. A clothesline sets up Sakalia’s own chinlock for a few moments as this isn’t exactly thrilling.

Magnet fights up and starts kicking at the leg because it’s the 80s so he uses a Figure Four. Some forearms put Magnet down again and it’s back to the chinlock. That’s broken up as well and Magnet kicks at the leg again, this time taking Sakalia down for the Figure Four. Cue another Samoan named Superfly Tui to attack Richie for the DQ at 7:00.

Rating: D-. Can we please just end this show already? I know it’s the mid 80s but this would be considered boring by any generation. This was one chinlock after another until the ending and I need a lot more than that. It would be nice if it felt like someone was either trying or had the slightest bit of energy in one of these matches but I haven’t seen it yet.

Post match the beatdown is on until someone whose name sounded like Jeff Magruder makes the save.

A guy whose name sounds like Al Harrington (seems to be a comedian) tells people from the east coast to come to Hawaii in what seems like filler between matches.

Uncle Elmer vs. Hans Schroder

Yes it’s the same Uncle Elmer from Wrestlemania II. Elmer comes in and dances a bit before talking about how many pigs he owns. Oh and he’s from Mississippi not Arkansas. They get in an argument over which state he’s from as I’m pretty sure the bell has already rung. We finally get going with Elmer grabbing a headlock and then letting it go for a standoff.

Schroder’s top wristlock doesn’t work at all and Elmer shoves him down again. Hang on though as we go to an inset interview with Magnet and Magruder swearing revenge. As Magruder talks about how much he can lift, Elmer wins a test of strength….and we take a break. IN AN UNCLE ELMER MATCH??? Back with Schroder on the floor and getting counted out at 3:47. The stuff after the break was less than ten seconds.

Rating: F. Oh come on with this nonsense already man. They really went to a break so they could come back for seven more seconds? In a comedy match? This show is one of the worst things I’ve seen in a long time and this somehow might have been the worst part of the whole thing.

Post match Schroder yells about how unfair that was because Elmer sent him over the top. Not that we saw it or anything.

Superfly Tui wants Magruder and doesn’t care how much he can lift. They’ll beat up a cockroach or an elephant if they have to.

The Lieutenant Governor is here.

And now, A CLIPPED VERSION OF ELMER VS. SCHRODER! The announcers want to see Elmer vs. Andre the Giant because it would be good and clean wrestling. Then they just stop showing the clips and talk about how awesome Elmer is.

The announcers sign off.

House show ad.

The announcers sign off again.

Overall Rating: F. This was one of weakest shows I’ve seen in a long time and somehow it was part of their big show. The wrestling was bad, the stories (Can I even make that plural?) were as low rent as you could get and there was no one in the big stadium. I’m not sure what to think of a show like this but I really hope this was just an off night for them because it was a completely terrible show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

So here’s one of those things I never, ever thought I would live to see. Back in 1986, a wrestler named Tom Magee came to WWE. He was from Canada (a good place for a wrestler), stood about 6’5 and looked like he was carved out of stone. Throw in a martial arts background and powerlifting experience and how could he not be a smash hit?

Well he wasn’t very good. However, the look alone and his athletic background kept him around the WWF for years, though he never rose very high. You might be wondering how someone could stay around on just potential alone, and the answer is that isn’t exactly the case. There was also an infamous match with Bret Hart, where Magee allegedly looked like a star. The reason it is so infamous is that it never saw the light of day….until now. The match was taped for TV but never aired due to a promise to Bret, so it’s a full on WWF TV match, complete with commentary.

Thanks to the magic of technology (and Bret’s assistant finding the tape and being given permission to sell it to WWE), we have the match on the WWE Network. Throw in a documentary because of course WWE has one and I give you something I never actually thought I would see.

I’ll spare you the discussion of various people (mainly Canadians) recapping the story and how it was mainly Hart being the real star. Kassiuh Ohno gets in a great line with “They thought they were looking at their next World Champion. It was just the wrong guy.” They certainly don’t bury Magee, but they make it clear that he wasn’t the best in the world. The discussion about the match being this urban legend that almost no one has ever seen is kind of amazing.

Magee himself even shows up and seems to be a rather positive guy which is rather nice to see. He’s happy that the match came back and hopes people enjoy it. It’s really cool that he doesn’t come off as jaded here as it seems wrestling was just something that he did at one point in his life. Both Hart and Magee say they would watch it again if they had the chance. Funny they should say that.

Bret Hart vs. Tom Magee

Date: October 7, 1986

Location: War Memorial, Rochester, New York

Attendance: 8,200

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

Joined in progress (I’ll take what I can get) with Bret holding a headlock as Jimmy Hart is rather pleased from the floor. Magee fights up and my goodness his back is HUGE. A cartwheel into a standing backflip gives the crowd something to cheer for and it’s an armdrag into an armbar to put Bret down. Back up and Magee does it again as Heenan insists that he is NOT worried about Magee sticking around.

Bret fights up again and Magee moonsaults over Bret out of the corner, setting up a pair of dropkicks to put him on the floor. Even Heenan is impressed and Hart takes a breather on the floor. Back in and Bret grabs the atomic drop as Monsoon needles Heenan about Paul Orndorff being a Benedict Arnold. A legdrop to the back of the head keeps Magee down but he gets in a sunset flip for a breather.

The backbreaker cuts Magee off again though and the middle rope elbow (with feet out instead of knees under as Bret is better known for) gets no cover cover. Instead Magee gets up and whips him chest first into the buckle (you knew that was coming), setting up a rollup for two. Another dropkick misses though and Bret sends him outside for some yelling from Jimmy. Back in and Magee slips out of a suplex and grabs an O’Connor roll for the upset at 7:48.

Rating: C+. So that’s that. The match is far from a classic but for someone who seemed a bit limited in the ring (as Magee was since he was only 28 here and had never wrestled on this kind of a stage), it was certainly watchable. That being said, this was almost ALL Bret who was doing the heavy lifting and walking Magee through the match. I don’t mean that as an insult as Bret is one of the best of all time and has carried a lot of people over the years. It’s a completely fine, if not pretty good match, but to call it a classic or some game changer is a bit much.

Magee certainly had talent and was an athletic freak, but it seems that anyone who thought he was the next big thing was just looking at the surface. He looks like Kerry Von Erich, though a lot of people have had that kind of a physique over the years. Magee needed more time in the ring and some good coaching to get somewhere, but for what we had here, it was easy to see why the company thought so much of him. It’s definitely worth seeing just for the sake of history, though I wouldn’t expect some kind of classic.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania 2
Date: April 7, 1986
Location: Nassau Coliseum-New York, Rosemont Horizon-Chicago, Illinois, Sports Arena-Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 40,085 combined for all three venues
Commentators: New York – Vince McMahon, Susan St. James. Chicago – Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund, Cathy Lee Crosby, Ernie Ladd. Los Angeles – Jesse Ventura, Alfred Hayes, Elvira
America The Beautiful: Ray Charles

This show is the classic what the heck were thinking moment from the WWF. They had made Wrestlemania the year before and they hit it so far out of the park that by the time it was Wrestlemania 2 the ball hadn’t come down yet. This was a problem though. Since the inaugural show had been such a success, Vince felt they had to do something to top it. This was his idea: what if we did Wrestlemania from 3 different places??? Think about that for a minute. How weird would that be?

Not to mention, Vince had another idea: let’s put it on a Monday! Again, just awkward sounding. The format used was three locations, each with an undercard and then a featured match, which were a boxing match, a battle royal, and the true main event, Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy in a steel cage.

The idea was odd on paper and worse in reality as it felt like watching three shows instead of one. There’s no rhythm and because it was in three locations, announcers were a rare commodity. Due to this, Vince’s last idea was to put a real commentator together with celebrities to do the commentary. What followed might be the biggest mess in company history.

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

We begin the show in New York City with Paul Orndorff against Don Muraco. Why are they fighting? I don’t have a freaking clue but they are so here we go. As they begin we hear comments from both and neither have anything to say of meaning.

Orndorff is easily the face here so if he never accomplished anything else in his career, the face turn between Manias one and two was effective. As was predicted, the celebrity commentator is atrocious, with such gems like “I think he’s winning!” Orndorff controls the early part of the match but Muraco breaks it up with some power. They roll outside and we get a double count out as the crowd clearly can be heard chanting bull.

Rating: D+. Fine for what it was, but the fans got it right with their chants. This is the opening match to Wrestlemania? Seriously? That’s the best they could come up with? This feud more or less never went anywhere at all as Orndorff was about to get the biggest push of his career by far, resulting in him making about $20,000 a week for awhile. This was just an odd choice for an opening match but then again this was an odd choice for a show so I guess it fits.

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Next up the intercontinental title is on the line as Randy Savage defends against George Steele. This is a match that I can’t find a standalone version of so I can’t put this one in here. However, this was another chapter in the over year long feud between these two. Savage had been allegedly mistreating Liz and Steele had developed a crush on her. That led to, what else, Savage being jealous and a 15 month feud began.

Mega stall from Savage to start as he seems afraid of Steele. Savage runs again and finally on the third time Steele goes after him. They finally lock up and Steele beats Savage up for a while with power moves and biting but Steele keeps going to talk to Liz. This was a weird period for Savage as they knew they had a gem with him but they didn’t know what to do with him. Yeah he was the IC champion, but where did they go with him from there?

This was all they had until the next year when he and Steamboat stole the show and Savage was launched into the main event. For some reason Savage has a bouquet of flowers that he and Steele try to beat each other up with. After ripping apart a turnbuckle and eating the stuffing (not making that up) Steele gets slammed and elbowed, but he kicks out?

Yes, George Steele is the first man to kick out of the elbow, and he pops up, beats on Savage some more and then gets rolled up and Savage uses the ropes to pin him. Steele eats more stuffing.

Rating: C-. This was a comedy match I think with wrestling mixed in. Savage is the highlight here as he sells like crazy for Steele and it helps a lot. These two had this freaky chemistry that no one has ever been able to really figure out. They would feud on and off for the next year before FINALLY ending it with the return of Ricky Steamboat for that whole greatest match of all time thing he and Savage would have next year.

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

We follow up that strange match with another somewhat strange match as Jake Roberts, still a rookie here, takes on some guy named George Wells. This match is little more than a glorified squash. Wells dominates early but doesn’t go for a pin when he has the chance. Jake recovers and DDTs him to win the match. Afterwards he unleashes Damien who causes Wells to look like he’s foaming at the mouth.

Rating: D+. Talk about a weird choice to have on Wrestlemania. Jake was brand new at this point so they needed someone to make him look good and they pick….George Wells? There was a squash on Mania for the first two years and both times they were the least interesting match on the card. I don’t get the selection here for the most part and it’s pretty bad all things considered.

Boxing Match: Mr. T vs. Roddy Piper

We now move onto the main event of the New York portion of the show: a boxing match with Roddy Piper and Mr. T. This was built up on SNME about 2 months before hand with Mr. T. beating Piper’s friend Bob Orton in a boxing match before being beaten down by both of them. That came on from what started over a year ago in the main event of the first Wrestlemania, so this truly was a showdown that had been built up for ages.

Factor in that T had been the World Boxing Champion in Rocky 3 just a few years ago and was on a top rated TV show where he was a tough guy. Both men have famous trainers in their corners to make it look more legit. For no apparent reason Joan Rivers does the ring announcing. This is ten three minute rounds. She introduces Orton as the Ace Comedy Bob Orvin. Nice job of handling the reading thing honey.

They actually got Smoking Joe Frazier to be in T’s corner. One of the biggest stars in Hollywood has in his corner a former world heavyweight champion who had three of the best boxing matches in history with Muhammad Ali. He also has a midget. Well of course he does. They treat this like a real boxing match. Oh dear.

T goes for the ribs which doesn’t work all that well for him. Piper hits him on the break which is illegal of course. There has been no mention of judges or anything like that so I guess this is destined to not go the distance. The referee has broken them up about four times now. I think these are three minute rounds. For the most part these punches aren’t landing at all but they sell them anyway of course.

It’s not so much boxing but rather glorified grappling with the occasional punch thrown. The fans are more or less dead if you didn’t guess that. After the first round nothing has really happened. Piper has a bunch of grease on his face for the second round which is keeping the punches from T from being effective.

This is painfully boring if I didn’t make that clear so far. Piper knocks the heck out of T with some big roundhouses and finally drops him to huge cheers because something HAPPENED for a change. The knockdown gets a count of 8. Piper keeps pounding on him as round two ends. They brawl a bit during the break and Orton throws water at T.

Piper does the Ali Shuffle to start the third round. T gets him into the corner and pounds away with more or less open hand shots to the head and Piper is in trouble. That gets a count of 7. T gets a huge punch that I think hit so of course Piper is knocked to the floor. He gets up at 9 and then holds onto T for the last 25 seconds of the fight.

They just trade big bombs to start the fourth round. And then he punches the referee and slams T for the DQ about a minute into the fourth round. It’s a bit brawl and T of course gets the win. Was there a reason for both that ending and also having Piper dominate a round like that? This was awful.

Rating: F. On WRESTLEmania they had a long boxing match. This was just boring beyond belief and the boxing looked awful. They tried to make this seem legit and it failed on more than all levels. T was never seen again and Piper turned face relatively soon after taking time off for knee surgery. Boring match and awful beyond belief.

Chicago

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

We start with the Women’s Title on the line as Moolah defends against Velvet McIntyre. This match is just weird. Moolah dominates, Velvet comes back and then misses a splash allowing Moolah to pin her. It screams botched finish to me as even the announcers seem surprised.

Rating: N/A. Just was nothing at all and might have gone a minute. Little to rate here so I won’t even try to.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirschner

Now we have a flag match with Nikolai Volkoff against the forgotten Corporal Kirschner. Yeah I don’t remember him either. The winner gets to have their flag waved. Other than that it’s a standard one on one match. As usual, Nikolai sings the Russian National Anthem before the match starts. Nikolai dominates early on, ramming Kirschner into the post twice and busting him open. I kid you not, Kirschner lands 7 right hands, catches Freddy Blassie’s cane and hits Nikolai with it to win the match.

Rating: D-. This was supposed to be a brawl but it was a bad match. 7 punches and a cane shot? Give me a break. Kirschner is apparently one of the most legit tough guys in the history of the business and got thrown out of most major companies for being too rough. Based on this and his match at the Wrestling Classic I’d assume it’s due to a high level of suck but that’s just me. This was just barely long enough to warrant a rating and it wasn’t any good at all.

Battle Royal

Now we get the most famous match from this show: a 20 man battle royal with ten pro football players and 10 wrestlers. This is going to go GREAT. Since most of you won’t know half the people in this I’m not going to list them all until the end. The big names are a still rookie Bret Hart, Andre the Giant, Big John Studd and Bruno Sammartino. For the most part this is a run of the mill battle royal.

It’s little more than a bunch of punching and kicking against the ropes as we get down to the big names. Oddly enough the celebrity commentator is the only one that gets anything right. Gorilla says stuff like Studd has this guy in the corner when they’re almost in the middle of the ring, or Ernie Ladd who was a wrestler saying no one wants Andre when he’s beating someone up. Amazing.

The only really famous thing in this match is a football player named William the Refrigerator Perry getting eliminated by Studd but then offering a handshake and eliminating him. The Iron Sheik eliminates Hillbilly Jim just as he would in the gimmick battle royal 15 years later at WM 17. The final four are the Hart Foundation, a football player and Andre. Do I need to really give the details on this? Andre beats up the Harts to win the match after launching Bret out in a press slam.

Rating: B. It’s a bunch of football players and 80s wrestlers with a few great workers. Nothing special, but considering what they had to work with this is just fine. The football stuff didn’t lead anywhere which is kind of surprising as they set up a Fridge vs. Studd thing that never happened at all that I know of. This was just ok and at least the right guy won it. Andre would of course be in the biggest match of all time the next year.

Tag Titles: British Bulldogs vs. The Dream Team

Now we have what is likely the best match of the whole show. It’s a classic 80s tag match with the British Bulldogs, and Ozzy Osbourne in their corner for God alone knows why to face the tag team champions of the Dream Team Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine. You can tell they’re serious here as this has a sixty minute time limit.

The ring looks small here for some reason. Gorilla asks why Ozzy is there too which means he’s confused like I am. There are two referees here which I doubt will mean anything for the most part. Smith vs. Valentine to get up. The ring is all loud here still.

The Bulldogs were so fast with those tags and this is no exception at all. Valentine won’t tag out for no apparent reason. He counters a backdrop though and here’s Beefcake. Small package by Dynamite get two. Fisherman’s suplex by Davey gets two. I guess he’s not perfect. After Davey gets beaten on for a bit Dynamite comes in and slugs it out with Valentine.

The champions cheat a bit and they still can’t take over. I never got the appeal of the Dream Team but to be fair it might be that Brutus was just awful at this point. Valentine gets a Piledriver on Dynamite but falls forward so it kind of looks like a tombstone but with Dynamite’s stomach facing out. That was kind of cool looking.

Bulldogs clear the ring as things speed up a bit. Davey gets the powerslam for two as it wasn’t a finisher but just a signature move at the time. The champions work over Davey as momentum changes hands a lot here tonight. They work over the arm, including with a shoulderbreaker from Valentine.

However he shows his idiocy by pulling Davey up at two. Nice job you lunkhead. And there’s the idiocy coming through as for no apparent reason Dynamite gets on the middle rope and Davey rams Valentine’s head into Kid’s for the knockout shot and falls on Valentine for the pin and the titles. That ending came from NOWHERE and Dynamite is out cold from the shot which is kind of amusing for some reason. That’s Albano’s 16^th title win as a manager. Hokey smoke.

Rating: B-. Fun stuff but the ending was just so freaking random. I don’t get the ending as it was like they looked at the clock and realized they had no time left and were like oh crap we need to finish this. The Bulldogs were a good team and were a huge step up from the Dream Team. They would lose them to the Harts in about 8-9 months so the tag division was starting to roll at this point.

Los Angeles

Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

We move to the final and by far the worst of the three locations as we’re now in LA, beginning with Ricky Steamboat against Hercules Hernandez. This was supposed to be Bret vs. Ricky in the big showdown match for Mania. I’m not sure what the showdown would be for since for all intents and purposes they had no feud that I know of but a little face on face action never hurt anyone, even though Bret wasn’t a face at the time so scratch that line.

They start off kind of fast but not fast enough for anything to mean much. This was a different era so matches like these were really commonplace. There’s no feud or anything here and Hercules is just a big power guy that had been given a fairly decent push so he’s getting to fight one of the best guys in the company at one of the biggest shows of the year.

There is almost nothing to say here though as I’ve been watching for a few minutes and nothing has happened at all. Well at least nothing worth talking about that is. Hercules goes for the backbreaker as this is before the Full Nelson made him the original Chris Masters. Relatively standard Steamboat match which means it’s at least passable. Herc is the big powerhouse that beats the tar out of Ricky, makes one mistake and the Dragon makes his comeback. The flying body press ends things as always.

Rating: C-. And that’s almost all for Steamboat. I liked Hercules for some reason but for the life of me I don’t get the point in having him be considered a better prospect than Bret was. This was the epitome of a throwaway match with nothing special at all going on in it and nothing of note to talk about really. I sat there for minutes at a time with nothing of note so I apologize for the most history based match here.

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Now for the odd match of the night, we have Adrian Adonis, playing a controversial gay gimmick at the time, against Uncle Elmer, a fat hillbilly character. The crowd chants a certain homosexual slur at Adonis to start the match which he prances around the ring to.

This match is slow and mostly painful as the smaller man in the match weighs about 350lbs. When he’s your agile guy, you know this isn’t going anywhere. Elmer punches him and literally falls off his feet from it. Quite sad actually. Adonis has his dress, yes dress ripped off and it’s just hideous. Elmer beats on him some more but misses a leg drop. Adonis hits a top rope headbutt and gets the pin.

Rating: N/A. I never got the appeal of either of these characters and thankfully Elmer wasn’t around much longer. Naturally he got a tape mainly about him and his family because that’s the way the 80s went.

Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana vs. The Funks

In the next to last match of the night, we have the Funks against JYD and Tito Santana. This is another filler match that had no point at all other than two faces against a heel team. This is a much slower paced match as they do more old school stuff in there. Terry vs. Tito starts us off so we’re certainly getting things started off on the right foot here.

You have three guys that belong in the Hall of Fame and JYD who is in there because he was popular in the 80s making him a LEGEND. I still don’t like him but he’s more bearable than some people I can’t stand. This is definitely a different style than most are used to. I’d like a bit more explanation as to why they’re fighting but I think It’s 1986 is about as close as we’re going to get. Tito dominates for the most part here, hammering away on both Funks. He was completely awesome at this point if you didn’t get that.

Off to the Dog now and we get some boxing. A Texas man lost a fight to a dog. Don’t bother going back to Amarillo I guess Terry. Someone please explain the appeal to me of the Dog as I just don’t get it at all and never have. Dory plays Ricky Morton which just sounds wrong and gets beaten on in the corner for a bit. The forearm gets two as I guess Tito didn’t have it perfected yet.

Control shifts over to the crazy men and they beat down Tito for awhile as he’s really playing Ricky Morton. That still sounds wrong. After a few minutes of basic offense from the Funks JYD comes back in and everything goes nuts. Terry is thrown to the floor where there are no mats. He might have legitimately hurt his knee or ankle there and I’m not surprised at all. With the referee not looking, Terry clocks the Dog with the Megaphone (Jimmy was managing them which I forgot to mention) and the heels steal one.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match here with the Funks being all evil and the thrown together face team doing whatever they could to get the win. Granted that didn’t happen but at least they tried. This was a better match than I remember it being and while it’s still mainly formula stuff it worked rather well. I liked it and granted three of the guys being all time greats helps a bit.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

This is a cage match and the only one in Mania history if you don’t count the Cell match at Mania 15 which most people don’t. The story behind this is Bundy jumped Hogan at a SNME and hurt his ribs, which hadn’t healed yet. Hogan wrestled against doctor’s orders with tape all over his ribs. Simple but effective but kind of too simple as this was more or less thrown together about a month ago.

This is a very not surprising match with Bundy going for the ribs and Hogan having to fight through the pain. It’s solid because it’s Hogan doing what he does best but the total and complete lack of drama or anyone really caring for the most part is hurting it. Also having Jesse as lead announcer is a very odd choice.

Bundy rips the tape off of Hogan’s ribs like a good heel and Hogan messes up as always by trying to pick Bundy up and of course he can’t do it. There’s nothing special going on here at all but it’s working for the most part. Ah there’s the Hulk Up. Very surprisingly we get a power slam here and not the traditional slam. Maybe his ribs really were hurt. He ties up Bundy and goes over the top to retain and end the show.

Rating: B-. It’s Hogan against a monster heel not named Andre. What are you expecting here? This was his bread and butter and the fans popped for the end (only) so I guess you can call this a success. I’m a sucker for Hogan matches in the 80s so I’d say there’s probably some bias in the rating but who cares? Fairly solid match but nothing unique about it at all other than the cage aspect.

Overall rating: C+. While certainly better in the ring than the first Mania and including some storylines this time, the three venues thing is just a mess. There’s really only two or three very good matches here and I’d call maybe the tag title match Mania worthy. Other than that there’s a lot of filler and it’s more or less 1-2 big matches per location with the rest being all filler.

This show suffers from trying to do something that had never been done before, and while they did indeed do that the overlooked one major point: the new thing they did wasn’t a good idea. It’s really not that good of a show overall. Watch the highlights if you want to, but don’t waste three hours watching it from start to end.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

WWE Unreleased 1986-1995 DVD
Hosts: Sean Mooney, Charly Caruso

This isn’t something I do very often but every now and then I see a collection like this that is so far up my alley that I can’t help it. The name of the set sums it up as well as possible: it’s a nearly nine hour collection of dark matches and other unreleased material from 1986-1995, which could include some incredibly interesting stuff. Let’s get to it.

Caruso welcomes us to the set and adds a grand total of nothing. Wait this is just an intro for the set? Do all DVDs think I’m stupid enough to not be able to hit PLAY?

Note that there won’t be commentary on most of these matches as they’re mainly dark matches which were taped just in case of something like this.

Another note: the front of the DVD says 1986-1995 but the back says 1985-1996. Come on people. That’s not a knock on them. I just want to get on with the show.

Disc 1

We open with a shot of the WWE tape vault. I…..hang on I need a minute here. It’s just so darn beautiful. Seriously, I’d pay good money to be allowed to just look through that place, let alone touch/look at anything.

Caruso goes through the room (With a box labeled Boston 87-88. Good grief that makes me all tingly. Just imagine the stuff they have hidden in there. It must be enough to fill….probably a three disc set just on 1986-1995 alone. Well played WWE.) and finds a wild Sean Mooney. Sean introduces our first match by explaining the Machines, saying the identity are still a mystery to this day. Oh yeah I’m going to love the heck out of this.

Machines vs. Bobby Heenan/Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy
Date: September 16, 1986
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 7,000

Dark match at the end of a Superstars taping. So the Machines are this “Japanese” team of masked men, consisting of Big Machine (Blackjack Mulligan), Super Machine (Bill Eadie, better known as Ax from Demolition) and usually a random third partner, in this case Hulk Machine (Sterling Golden). They wrestled almost exclusively against Heenan and company with the third partner being the high point of the whole thing.

It’s a brawl to start and Hulk slams Studd to clear the ring (which would earn him $15,000 thanks to a challenge laid out by Studd and Heenan). Bundy and Super officially get things going and it’s so strange to watch this with no commentary. Studd comes in for a big elbow but gets dropped by three straight clotheslines. Hulk chases Heenan away and it’s off to Big vs. Bundy.

That goes badly for Bundy and it gets even worse when Hulk comes in for the showdown. I mean, it’s not like there’s any history here as Hulk Machine is a newcomer around here. A slam drops Bundy and another drops Studd (including another slam for another $15,000) and it’s back to Super for a slam of his own with Heenan failing to make a save. Big finally charges into a boot in the corner and Heenan actually comes in for some forearms in the corner.

As you might expect, that earns him a heck of a bump over the corner and a quick tag (with Heenan laying face first on the apron) to Bundy. A bearhug keeps Big in trouble and Studd even adds a top rope forearm to the back. Heenan’s cheap shots draw Hulk in so Studd can choke away in the corner. You would think wrestlers would get that through their head one day but it hasn’t happened yet. Bundy’s Avalanche crushes Big in the corner but Bundy celebrates too long, allowing Hulk to switch places. Heenan comes in and it’s the big boot for the pin at 9:35. The pin was on Heenan in case you’re kind of stupid.

Rating: C. Oh yeah I’m going to have a good time with this. That ending was perfect for something like this as the fans get to see Heenan take a quick beating while Hulk (whatever his last name is) gets to look good. These six man tags are perfectly fine and a great way to send the fans home happy. Fun match and that’s all something like this is supposed to be.

Hulk pulls the mask up to reveal…..eh some Scooby Doo villain.

Randy Savage vs. Pedro Morales
Date: October 28, 1986
Location: Broome County Arena, Binghamton, New York
Attendance: 6,400

Savage’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line. This is a dark match at a Superstars taping and apparently the first time the Superstars banners hung in the rafters. We hit the stall button to start as Savage hits the floor to yell at fans until Pedro sends him into the barricade. Back in and a should gives Pedro one but Savage bails again. A shot to the throat drops Savage again as Morales certainly isn’t your standard good guy with this offense. Savage works on the arm but gets flipped over for his efforts.

That means the third time to the floor where Savage has to yell at Liz to stay in the corner. Back in and we go further into Memphis as Savage uses a phantom foreign object to rake the eyes. Pedro is back with some flowers (for Liz) to the face but Savage throws him hard out to the floor. Savage is right after him with a top rope ax handle and Pedro is in trouble in a hurry. Back in a Savage dives into a left hand as this is starting to drag. Pedro slugs away but gets tripped, allowing Savage to throw his feet on the ropes for the pin at 7:47. It would have been nice if Morales was actually trying to kick out.

Rating: D. Ok so they’re not all going to be winners. This was slow paced and not much of an improvement over the norm for Pedro at this point. He was WAY past his prime and you could tell that Savage was having to slow things down to let him keep up. Still though, a slowed down Savage was still better than almost anyone else. Bad match though.

Paul Orndorff/Harley Race vs. Roddy Piper/Hulk Hogan
Date: December 9, 1986
Location: Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Phoenix, ArizonaAttendance: 15,200

I’m not sure on the date here as the DVD says December 9, but every other source I can find says December 10 (in Tuscon, Arizona). Also, the December 9 show is listed as a Superstars taping and you can see the Wrestling Challenge (December 10) banners in the rafters. Then again it’s not that hard to make a mistake with something like this. Also it’s not like it matters because HOGAN AND PIPER ARE ON THE SAME TEAM???? I’m not sure I know how to handle something like this.

It’s a brawl to start with Hogan and Piper (gulp) clearing the ring. Thankfully they do look at each other rather uncertainly until Orndorff jumps Piper to start things off. Hogan headbutts Paul and Piper throws him into Hulk’s boot before it’s off to Race. The fans are rather pleased at the idea of Hogan beating Harley up but also like Piper coming back in to work on the arm.

A hammerlock slam keeps Race in trouble and Hogan drops the arm over the rope. Piper comes back in and kicks away at Race’s shoulder but gets taken into the corner for some headbutts. Orndorff comes in for a top rope elbow but Piper sunset flips him for two more. Race misses the falling headbutt though and it’s Hulk (not Machine of course) time. The big boot drops Race but there’s no count. Back up and the legdrop looks to finish but Heenan comes in for the DQ at 6:23.

Rating: C. What am I even supposed to say about this? A match like this would be a blast and there’s nothing wrong with that, though I’m not sure why Hogan couldn’t get a pin here. This would be like Cena and Punk five years ago and those matches were fun too. That being said, has Harley Race ever not looked like he was in his early 60s? He’s 43 here and looks the same as he always did. I’m not sure if that’s good or not but it’s always been the case.

Hogan and Piper even do a big handshake after the match. I don’t know where my life is anywhere.

Dingo Warrior vs. Jose Estrada
Date: June 23, 1987
Location: Market Square Arena, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 10,555

I’m sorry what now? This is the Dingo (as in Ultimate) Warrior’s third match with the company, having debuted less than a week ago. He looks the same but is billed from Queens, New York and even starts with a leapfrog into an armdrag. Dang it someone get my medicine. I mean, it leads into a bad armbar but sweet goodness what have I stumbled into?

Estrada rakes the eyes and slugs away at the face and ribs to shocking success. We hit the neck crank and a chinlock (with a near fall actually) as this isn’t exactly the kind of match you would EVER expect from Warrior. One of the worst chinlocks I’ve ever seen (note the gap between the arm and Warrior’s chin) brings Warrior back to life. A gorilla press brings the fans back the same way but it’s back to the armbar as Warrior clearly has no idea how to string stuff together.

Back up and Estrada misses a charge….and is armdragged into an armbar for the THIRD time in about four minutes. Since it was just an armbar (or a lot of armbars), Estrada is back up and choking in the corner until Warrior makes the most standard comeback ever. An atomic drop sets up a Randy Savage style clothesline to put Estrada away at 6:13.

Rating: F+. That’s partially just for my head spinning at Warrior being announced from Queens. This was TERRIBLE as Warrior looked like he had no idea what he was doing out there, meaning the version we got was the IMPROVED version. It’s like he had all of two month’s worth of training and was given this weird gimmick (As Vince said: “What is a dingo warrior?”) because he was in great shape. Absolutely terrible match, but not even the fun kind of terrible. It certainly felt like something special though and that’s the entire point of this set so well done on that front.

Back in the vault, Charly and Sean talk about the Mega Powers. Charly talks about them forming on Saturday Night’s Main Event and Sean asks if she remembers the time when Hogan came out to save Savage from a 3-1 beatdown at the hands of Honky Tonk Man and the Hart Foundation. Ok so they’re talking about THE EXACT SAME NIGHT but points for trying something.

Mega Powers vs. Hart Foundation/Honky Tonk Man
Date: January 5, 1988
Location: Von Braun Civic Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Attendance: 8,500

No bell for this one as we start with Hogan and Neidhart (what an odd visual) shoving each other. Hogan avoids a charge and hits a running clothesline in the corner. He grabs Neidhart by the beard (THAT’S TOO FAR!) and hands it off to Savage for the elbows to the head. Neidhart takes Savage into the corner but Bret comes in and gets armbarred right back down. Bret’s hard clothesline takes over though and he gets two off the backbreaker. Honky Tonk misses the fist drop though and the hot tag brings in Hogan. House is cleaned in a hurry and the legdrop finishes Honky Tonk at 5:17.

Rating: D+. I would question how much there could be from a match where the Mega Powers barely broke a sweat but IT’S THE MEGA POWERS. It would have been weirder had this been a competitive match, even if the heel team was as talented as this one was. Hogan and Savage are one of those legendary teams and there’s no reason that this should have been anything but quick and mostly one sided.

Hogan gets Savage to pose and Randy looks almost confused by the fans’ reactions.

Owen Hart vs. Barry Horowitz
Date: March 8, 1988
Location: Viking Hall, Bristol, Tennessee

This is Owen’s tryout match. I watched these two in a match from later in the year when Owen was the Blue Angel so there’s a lot of potential here. Owen flips out of a wristlock to start and does that springboard into a hiptoss of his. Back up and Owen moonsaults over him, followed by a running dropkick into the corner. A middle rope knee gets a slow two as Owen is just crazy ahead of his time here.

An armbar slows things down but Barry is back up with a knee to the ribs and some choking. Barry drops a standing legdrop for two more but Owen backflips up and scores with a suicide dive (unheard of at this point). A slingshot stomp to the face (unheard of today too) has Barry in more trouble and a spinning high crossbody gets two back inside. Owen hits his belly to belly and a CRAZY long Swan Dive (I’ve never even seen Benoit hit one that far) for the pin at 5:45.

Rating: C+. It’s a bit sloppy at times but WOW this was amazing stuff for 1988. Considering that we were in the era where a high crossbody was a big deal, Owen hitting those crazy dives and slingshots was almost unthinkable. This belonged in a cruiserweight match on Nitro or something and he’s doing it before Wrestlemania IV. Owen would be hired pretty soon after this and that really shouldn’t be a surprised whatsoever.

WWF World Title: Andre the Giant vs. Randy Savage
Date: April 21, 1988
Location: New Haven Coliseum, New Haven, Connecticut
Attendance: 12,000

Andre is challenging of course and seems to crack Heenan up during the entrances. Another dark match main event and another match that I saw recently on the same show as Owen vs. Horowitz. For some reason Heenan goes after Liz, earning him a very early chase. Back in and Savage gets thrown down off a lockup before Andre hammers away in the corner. Andre sits on him for good measure as the fans chant for Hogan. They settle for Andre cranking on the arms instead as Liz gets on the apron. Andre goes after her though and that’s enough for Savage to use a chair for the DQ at 3:21.

Rating: F. This was a glorified segment and really didn’t need to be here. They’ve had good matches before (like the one I mentioned) so they would have been better off just cutting this one. There’s only so much you can do with Andre but Savage has proven that he’s capable of hanging in there with him so this felt more like a time issue than anything else.

Tag Team Titles; Demolition vs. Powers of Pain
Date: June 21, 1988
Location: Civic Center, Glenn’s Falls, New York
Attendance: 6,000

Demolition is defending. This is supposed to be a dream match but I’m really not seeing it. The Powers are substituting for Strike Force and therefore have Tito Santana in their corner. It’s a brawl to start while the music is still playing and Demolition is knocked outside. Ax wants time out and I NEED Monsoon to say there are no time outs in the sport of professional wrestling.

We pause for a good bit until Demolition is ready to go with Ax and Warlord starting it off. Actually hang on for some more stalling as the brawl is the only contact two minutes in. The staring continues as the other two get in as well. Three minutes in now and STILL no lock up. They lock up at a ridiculous three minutes and forty two seconds in (Larry Zbyszko is somewhere calling them amateurs) and it’s Ax losing a battle of the shoulder blocks.

Even more stalling leads to Ax getting in some forearms, only to be knocked out to the floor. Barbarian and Smash come in for some stalling but a test of strength is denied. Barbarian FINALLY picks up the pace with some right hands and a running headbutt as everything breaks down. The champs are sent into each other and manager Mr. Fuji gets decked. That’s enough for Demolition, who walks out for the countout at 7:15.

Rating: F-. Holy sweet merciful chicken sandwiches with meatballs and a cold Sprite this was a waste of time. I’m still not sure who looked at the Powers of Pain and thought they should be faces (though the same could be said about Demolition) but egads this was horrible. Thankfully they were turned heel in a few months but this was easily the worst thing on the set so far. Why did this even warrant inclusion?

Back to the vault where they’ve both found a tape to watch. Sean has Wrestlemania V (please, I’ve suffered enough) but Charly has a tape from April 4, 1989 (two days after Wrestlemania V). She wants to watch the whole thing while Sean wants to know why these weren’t Coliseum Video exclusives.

Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd
Date: April 4, 1989
Location: Civic Center, Glenn’s Falls, New York

The WEASEL chants are out in strong form tonight. Andre chokes him into the corner to start but Studd slugs away without much effort. We’re in the bearhug less than a minute in as I’m longing for Wrestlemania I. Some shots to the ribs almost put Andre down but a headbutt staggers Studd.

We hit the standing nerve hold as this is firmly in slow motion so far (not exactly shocking). More slugging leads to Andre choking with the singlet until he goes head first into Studd’s knee. I’m guessing that’s what they were going for at Wrestlemania when Andre suddenly went down despite Jake Roberts not really hitting him. Studd hammers away until Heenan comes in for the DQ at 7:46.

Rating: D-. Well what else were you expecting here? There was almost no way this was going to be good but you kind of have to know that’s the case coming in. Studd wouldn’t be around much longer and really, I’m not sure what else people were expecting him to do other than a weak feud with Andre. Terrible match here but Andre was a shell of the shell that he was earlier in the 80s.

Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior
Date: April 4, 1989
Location: Civic Center, Glenn’s Falls, New York

Same show as the previous match and Savage already has Sherri with him. Savage jumps Warrior (looking weird in black boots) but gets knocked to the floor and punched in the face for his efforts. Warrior gorilla presses him back in and ties Savage in the Tree of Woe (a spot you don’t often see in this era) for some stomping. A charge misses though and Warrior gets kneed out to the floor in a heap.

Back in and we hit the chinlock as the fans are all over Sherri. A double ax gives Savage two but Warrior punches him into the corner. Cue new Intercontinental Champion Rick Rude to annoy Warrior (possibly by holding the title upside down) as Warrior gets two off an atomic drop. The Warrior Splash hits knees (possibly because Warrior aimed for them) but it’s time to shake the ropes. The real comeback is on but Warrior goes after Rude and it’s a countout at 7:10.

Rating: C-. After everything else we’ve been sitting through, this was a minor miracle. Warrior was nowhere near capable of going toe to toe with Savage (then again almost no one ever was) so Randy was helping him along here. Both guys are protected by the finish too and this was about as good as Warrior was going to get in this circumstance around this time.

Warrior comes back with the stolen Intercontinental Title to clean house.

Ted DiBiase vs. Dusty Rhodes
Date: June 6, 1989
Location: Dane County Coliseum, Madison, Wisconsin

Dusty has been in the company for all of a week at this point. Before the match, DiBiase offers Dusty money so that he won’t have his career ended like Jake the Snake (Jake was out with a back injury attributed to DiBiase in a move you don’t see enough anymore). Dusty punches him in the face though and Ted (looking weird with no wrist tape) drops the money, which Dusty gives to the fans (though a lot of it falls on the floor).

Back in and Dusty punches him out to the floor again, only to have an atomic drop send Ted outside for a third time. If nothing else that gives us DiBiase’s great fall over the top, which I’ve always been a huge fan of. Dusty rams Ted and Virgil’s heads together and it’s time to dance, drawing a VERY solid reaction from the northern crowd.

DiBiase takes him down and hits a middle rope elbow, followed by those sweet falling punches. Dusty won’t stand for this being sent into the corner jazz but DiBiase elbows him down into a chinlock instead. Back up and Dusty punches him out of the air, followed by an elbow out to the floor. A suplex brings Ted back in but Virgil trips Dusty to give DiBiase the pin at 10:00.

Rating: C+. This was interesting in a couple of ways. First of all, it shows how big a star Dusty really was. Having not been a regular north of the Carolinas for YEARS, he came off like a total star here with the fans treating him like a huge deal. It shows you that star power and charisma (which Dusty had in spades) will always shine through, which is a great lesson to learn. Also, assuming what I’ve seen elsewhere is true, the loss was to show that Rhodes was willing to put people over, which was a major fear for the WWF roster. Thankfully he was smart enough to just be a talent, which still had a lot of value.

Finally, and easily my favorite, I love watching DiBiase move in a ring. I know he’s best known for his talking and character work but there was a certain smoothness to him in the ring that few others have. Any flip or landing looked perfect and it was a signature style of his that I don’t remember anyone else having. I always liked it and DiBiase looked like a really skilled guy out there, which is overlooked far too often.

Dusty cleans house post match to some hearty applause.

King Duggan/Hillbilly Jim vs. Haku/Andre the Giant
Date: July 19, 1989
Location: Memorial Auditorium, Utica, New York

What a gloriously odd combination. Duggan took the King’s Crown from Haku about two months prior. No contact for the first minute. Make that a minute and a half. Two minutes now as we establish that Duggan’s 2×4 and Hillbilly’s horseshoe are on the floor. They FINALLY start slugging it out over two minutes in with Duggan hammering Andre and Hillbilly choking Haku in the corner.

The USA chants get stronger and stronger as the good guys take over, only to have Andre impose his Andreness on Duggan to take over. Andre crushes Duggan in the corner and it’s off to Haku to work on the neck. A dropkick misses though and Duggan slugs away before ramming Haku and Andre’s heads together for a double knockdown. Hillbilly comes in for two off a shoulder but gets caught with something that looked low.

Andre charges into a pair of knees in the corner but Duggan gets punched down without much effort. Haku tries a sunset flip but lands on Duggan’s back, seemingly injuring Jim’s knee in the process. It’s quickly off to Hillbilly, who gets caught by a certain French giant. Andre holds the arms but Hillbilly avoids Haku’s superkick (ala Wrestlemania VI), allowing Duggan to hit a pair of three point clotheslines for the pin on Haku at 9:12.

Rating: C-. Well that was….something. I love these random matches that you might see on an old Coliseum Video and this is a great example of why. There’s no reason for this match to be taking place but here it is, in all its glory. The Jim’s were fine for a midcard team like this though I don’t think they ever teamed on TV. Fine enough, though they did just beat a team who would be Tag Team Champions by the end of the year.

Charly and Sean are going through a box labeled 89-90 tryouts. We see Sean’s tryout tape (from 1988 but close enough) and it’s nothing special whatsoever.

Bryan Adams vs. Barry Horowitz
Date: August 9, 1989
Location: Selland Arena, Fresno, California
Attendance: 9,000

Crush looks weird here with a beard and worse hair than usual, though you can tell he’s a powerhouse. Barry gets shoved outside to start, followed by a dropkick to put him out there again. Back in and Barry bounces off of him before getting caught in a bearhug. Barry slips out and gets in some offense, including a gutwrench suplex for two with Adams powering out on the kickout. A delayed vertical suplex (which he made look easy) plants Horowitz and a Tombstone is good for the pin at 5:34.

Rating: D. You can see two things here. First of all, it’s EASY to see why Adams kept a job for so long as he looked like a monster with a great build and general presence to him. However, the other thing you can see is how lame he was in the ring. There was almost nothing noteworthy about his abilities and that’s only going to get you so far. Of course this is the WWF and the look alone is going to get you a few feet in the door.

Earthquake Evans vs. Paul Roma
Date: September 20, 1989
Location: Louisville Gardens, Louisville, Kentucky

This is the debut for the Earthquake name as he had actually wrestled two dark matches under the name John Tenta back in March. He’s a lumberjack here (what an odd look) and has Slick in his corner. Roma is kind of a jerk (but don’t worry because Bret Hart said he could have been the greatest jerk of all time) but Crank It Up was such a sweet theme song.

Evans, in a lumberjack shirt and black pants, shoves him down without much effort and shrugs off some right hands. Roma actually does take him down with an armdrag into an armbar but his crossbody is countered into a backbreaker. A bearhug doesn’t go very far so Earthquake slowly works him over in the corner. Earthquake misses a charge though and Roma scores with three straight middle/top rope forearms to the head. A VERY high dropkick actually puts the big man down but Roma misses a crossbody. Earthquake drops a big elbow for the pin at 6:57.

Rating: D-. Really slow here but you could see the potential in Earthquake. Once they got him out of the lumberjack look and made him look like a monster instead of a guy filling in time during the off season, things would get a lot better. He was headlining Summerslam against Hogan less than a year later so they certainly did something right. Not a good match of course as it needed to be cut in half and with far less offense from Roma.

Powers of Pain vs. Rockers
Date: January 22, 1990
Location: Miami Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 15,063

This is the day after the Royal Rumble and I’m not sure why this warrants inclusion. Shawn and Barbarian start things off and you can imagine how far Shawn is pushed away off the lockup. Everything breaks down in a hurry and it’s double superkicks and clotheslines to put the Powers on the floor. We settle down (and change corners for some reason) to Marty vs. Warlord with Jannetty having to keep things fast. A blind tag…..doesn’t keep Shawn in very long as it’s almost immediately back to Marty.

Maybe Shawn should have stayed in as a good looking powerbomb plants Jannetty for two. One heck of a launch into a face first crash gives Warlord the same and Barbarian boots him outside. The Powers trade places and Shawn is about to deck the ref (I mean, it’s a Hebner so maybe the threat stuck all the way to Montreal). Marty shrugs off some right hands but dives into a good looking powerslam. Barbarian misses a middle rope elbow though and the hot tag brings in Shawn. Everything breaks down again until Fuji trips Shawn for the DQ at 7:54.

Rating: C. Pretty standard power vs. speed match and there’s always room for something like that. Marty played a good Ricky Morton here, which he often did over the team’s run. The Powers of Pain would split soon as there was just no need for them with Demolition and the soon to arrive Legion of Doom.

The beating continues post match with Marty taking something like a super Hart Attack. With Shawn down, HULK HOGAN of all people makes the save. Well that’s why this was included and I can certainly understand why. Other than nearly killing the Rockers when he was looking for Randy Savage at Main Event II, I couldn’t imagine Hogan lowering himself to their level at this point.

Tag Team Titles: Colossal Connection vs. Demolition
Date: January 23, 1990
Location: Civic Center, Fort Myers, Florida
Attendance: 5,000

Andre and Haku are defending in what must be an early Wrestlemania dry run. On a side note, assuming what I’ve seen is true, this is the same show where Scott Hall made his company debut yet we’re seeing this instead. How odd indeed. Or maybe that wasn’t filmed, which is always a possibility. Haku and Smash start things off with Smash getting pummeled in the corner (not quite clubberin but it’s close).

The ax handles get Smash out of trouble and a tag with the referee not paying the slightest bit of attention brings Ax in. We’re in an early chinlock from Ax, followed by a neck crank from Smash. Haku finally fights up and brings in the much bigger man to stand on Smash’s chest. Smash does manage to get in a shot to the ribs though and Demolition manages to hammer Andre down.

Andre opts to grab Ax’s face to take over though and the champs get him down in the corner. We hit the choke with the singlet, followed by the worst looking shoulders in the corner I’ve ever seen. I mean Andre’s shoulders are a good foot from Ax’s ribs, though thankfully he’s barely selling them. Haku charges into an elbow and the hot tag brings in Smash (quite the reaction too) as everything breaks down. A double clothesline drops Andre and Demolition stupidly hits him with the titles for the DQ at 8:04.

Rating: D. Demolition looked really dumb here and that’s not exactly their style. That’s something you would expect more out of a Hogan match and I mean that as a rather strong insult. The Connection not being the most thrilling team in the world didn’t help things either and Andre was looking especially lumbering out there.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage
Date: January 23, 1990
Location: Civic Center, Fort Myers, Florida
Attendance: 5,000

Savage (now the King) is challenging of course but FAR more interesting is the fact that this is raw footage, meaning there’s one angle for the entire match (only from the hard camera), complete with a time counter on the bottom of the screen. That certainly makes this feel unique, which is the entire point of something like this.

Sherri’s early distraction lets Savage knee Warrior to the floor but again the high crossbody is pulled out of the air. Warrior stomps away in the Tree of Woe, followed by a backslide of all things for two. A backdrop gives us Savage’s sweet looking bump to the floor but Sherri gets in some eye raking for a breather. Savage is right back with a top rope ax handle for two, only to miss a crossbody and fall out to the floor.

Warrior can’t even get back up though and it’s the big elbow for two. The loaded purse gets the same and NOW the kickout gets a good reaction. Warrior Warriors Up and some clotheslines have Savage tied up in the ropes. A missed charge sends Warrior to the floor though with Savage following for the double countout at 8:14 (even though Warrior was ON HIS FEET IN THE RING when the referee counted ten).

Rating: B-. They were really starting to figure each other out at this point and that made for much better matches. I know Warrior wasn’t exactly an in-ring star but to go from where he was in 1987 to where he is here is absolutely remarkable. He was a lumbering oaf back in the day and now he’s a lumbering oaf having some snappy matches. Things would get even better in about fourteen months when these two had a masterpiece at Wrestlemania VII but for the time, this was very surprisingly good stuff.

Disc 2

Sean and Charly talk about how fun this has been with Sean mentioning Alfred Hayes’ God Save the Queen party back in the day. They drop a tape (giving us a shot of an Ultimate Warrior Wrestling Buddy for some serious points) as Charly asks Sean why he’s here. Sean ducks the question and pulls out Wrestlemania VI. Charly says she was in daycare during that show and we see a clip of Mary Tyler Moore at Wrestlemania. Sean: “After that, I really felt like I made it after all.”. Charly: “I don’t get it.”. I don’t care how well she’s rocking the jeans she has on in this thing. That is unacceptable.

Earthquake vs. Hulk Hogan
Date: April 3, 1990
Location: Onondoga War Memorial, Syracuse, New York

Two days after Wrestlemania VI here so Hogan is actually on a losing streak. Earthquake (now in his signature gear) jumps Hogan to little avail as some right hands have the big man in trouble. Some running shots can’t drop Earthquake but a jumping knee gets him half down.

Hogan makes the mistake of going after Jimmy Hart though, allowing Earthquake to post him and take over. Some splashes in the corner and a backbreaker have Hart rather elated and a bearhug looks to make it even worse. It also makes me a bit sleepy as it stays on for a very long time, though it’s hard to complain about a dark match like this. The Earthquake gets two and Hogan makes the comeback to finish with the usual at 7:36.

Rating: C. It’s really pretty easy to see why these two made so much money together. Earthquake was big enough to look like a credible monster and you know Hogan knows EXACTLY what to do with someone like that. Throw in Earthquake putting him on the shelf for most of the summer and this was made of money. We weren’t quite there yet but there was a lot of gas left in Hogan’s tank, especially for something like this.

Posing ensues.

Big Boss Man vs. Ted DiBiase
Date: April 3, 1990
Location: Onondoga War Memorial, Syracuse, New York

Same show as the previous match and a match that was set up at Wrestlemania. DiBiase jumps him at the bell but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. The fast punches in the corner (Boss Man was great at those) look to set up a running splash but Virgil trips him up. Ted knocks Boss Man outside where the most livid kids I’ve ever seen yell at DiBiase with reckless abandon. Seriously, they impressed me.

Back in and the falling punch gives Ted two. It works so well that they do it again and Boss Man does his drunken selling (not a bad thing). A double clothesline puts both guys down, followed by Boss Man punching him out of the air. DiBiase gets backdropped to give us a good looking flip and a spinebuster draws Virgil in for the DQ at 4:13.

Rating: D+. No time to do much here but it’s more than anything we got on TV out of this. You would think this would be another layup of a match with Boss Man being able to play a blue collar guy against DiBiase’s money but for some reason it seemed to be a one off idea that was dropped without too much followup. Nothing to this one but it was fun for a bit.

The double teaming is on post match but Boss Man fights back and handcuffs Virgil.

Rick Rude/Mr. Perfect vs. Ultimate Warrior/Kerry Von Erich
Date: August 8, 1990
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 15,000

These would both be matches in about two and a half weeks at Summerslam. Warrior only has his cheek painted here and it’s a really weird look. The stall button is stuck again as a minute goes by before the heels get in the ring. Perfect gets in after about a minute and a half. Warrior and Perfect start but it’s quickly off to Von Erich for some hard right hands in the corner.

The fans are WAY into Kerry here, which really isn’t surprising given his crazy levels of charisma. The villains are sent outside and rammed into each other, meaning it’s time for a meeting. Back in and more right hands rock Perfect, including one to turn him inside out. Rude comes in and gets to face Warrior, meaning it’s time to hit the backpedal in a hurry.

It’s back to Von Erich for the Tornado Punch (seemingly not yet a finisher) and more right hands until Perfect knees him in the back. The necksnap keeps Tornado in trouble and it’s time to work on the leg, including a toehold on the phantom foot, which HAS to be a rib. Rude gets in some right hands and it’s straight back to Perfect for a chinlock.

You can hear Heenan’s instructions very plainly here and it actually adds a lot to the match, especially due to the lack of commentary. They don’t listen very well though and it’s Perfect dropkicking Rude by mistake, setting up the hot tag to Warrior. House is cleaned in a hurry and the Warrior Splash ends Perfect at 11:51.

Rating: C+. If there is a more fun match based on the participants involved alone, I can’t wait to see it. This was a ton of fun with the fans loving what they were seeing and Warrior having the manic energy to really carry things. Von Erich was a fresh addition too and when you have a perfect heel team like Rude and Perfect, what more can you ask for?

Legion of Doom vs. Demolition
Date: October 30, 1990
Location: Allen County Coliseum, Fort Wayne, Indianapolis

Well this works. For some reason they never actually had this one on TV, which makes little sense given how perfect it could have been. At least do it on a big house show and air it on Prime Time or something. Demolition is wrestling in masks here and has more sinister music, making them look like a bunch of generic jobbers.

LOD starts in on Crush’s arm until Animal throws him over the top. Smash (I think) gets in a cheap shot on the floor though and it’s Crush taking over back inside. The Decapitator is broken up and it’s back to Hawk to clean house with his variety of clotheslines. The top rope version pins Smash at 2:28. Well that was nothing.

War Eagle vs. Dale Wolfe
Date: January 8, 1991
Location: UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee

It’s another one with the time counter on the screen. War Eagle is better known as Tatanka and for some reason he comes out to the old Young Stallions’ song Crank It Up, which doesn’t fit whatsoever with the war dance around the ring. What does fit is his crazy awesome physique which is up there with Lex Luger’s.

Wolfe bails to the floor to start before coming back in, only to get armdragged outside again. That means a walk up the aisle until Wolfe comes back in to get his arm cranked. Wolfe fights back and grabs a chinlock, which goes as well as you would expect. We hit the war dance before some chops, followed by the Samoan drop to give Eagle the pin (with the camera zooming in on the crowd during the count for no apparent reason) at 4:56.

Rating: D-. Pretty bad match here as Eagle didn’t have the fire in his comeback but it’s easy to see why they kept at it with him based on the physique alone. For some reason it took him the better part of forever to get onto the actual shows but once he got there, he had a very nice midcard career for himself.

Charly finds Rick Martel’s “Yes I Am A Model” button on top of a tape of a blindfold match from two months before Wrestlemania VII. We recap the story of Martel blinding Jake Roberts with his Arrogance cologne to set up their match at Wrestlemania, which saw them both wearing hoods (including a hole you could see through).

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel
Date: January 29, 1991
Location: Savannah Civic Center, Savannah, Georgia

This is a blindfold match and seems to be a practice match for their disaster at Wrestlemania VII. The bell rings before they put the blindfolds on so we get a good bit of stalling. After a minute of waiting to put them on, the bell rings again because this whole time thing is confusing.

Just like at Wrestlemania, Jake uses the crowd to help him find Martel and we get some early stumbling around without any significant contact. Martel gets him down and chokes away, only to miss a backdrop attempt as Jake runs by him. Things reset again and Martel goes to the floor for no apparent reason. A touch of the snake bag freaks Rick out but he finally manages to pull Jake outside for a ram into the apron.

That works fine….and then Martel loses him. Instead he finds a chair and pokes at nothing with it, eventually backing into and hitting the post with said chair (same spot from Wrestlemania). Speaking of Wrestlemania, can we watch that instead? It’s actually better than this mess.

Martel finally gets back in as we’re somehow SEVEN MINUTES into this. They bump into each other with Martel getting in some right hands and a slam before missing an elbow drop (see also: Wrestlemania VII). Martel finally gives up and takes the hood off to knock Roberts into the ropes. Arrogance is loaded up but Martel gets caught with the DDT for the pin at 8:44.

Rating: F. It was stupid at Wrestlemania and this was even worse without Bobby Heenan making a mockery of the thing (Heenan: “Excuse me. MARTEL! HE’S ON THE FLOOR!”). This wasn’t even a match as Jake hit a single move the whole time and Martel might have hit seven (if you count three right hands as three). This would have been a better inclusion if we hadn’t seen it before in a somehow better version.

Ted DiBiase vs. Sid Justice
Date: July 8, 1991
Location: Saddledome, Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Attendance: 8,500

What in the holy sweet name of donuts and red Gatorade is this? Actually this would be Sid’s WWF in-ring debut as he had left WCW less than two months earlier. Sherri offers an early distraction so DiBiase can get in a cheap shot, only to get dropped by a chokeslam. The screeching is on early as Sid knocks him outside and an atomic drop does it again, this time with one of those great DiBiase bumps.

DiBiase tries to brawl on the floor and is quickly posted as you might expect. Sherri offers a distraction though, allowing Ted to get in a loaded purse shot…which doesn’t even drop Sid off his feet. Some right hands give DiBiase two with the power kickout scaring the heck out of Sherri. That falling middle rope elbow misses though (as always) and Sid scores with a Stinger Splash. The powerbomb ends Ted at 5:41.

Rating: D. Here’s the thing that got Sid so over: sure he’s horrible in the ring and no he can’t work a match to save his life but he has that pure, raw charisma and fans are going to gravitate to that every single time. That’s what he did here and the fans were into him, even in a promotion he had never worked in before. That’s impressive and the match worked as a result. Well that and having DiBiase in there too.

Undertaker vs. Ultimate Warrior
Date: August 19, 1991
Location: War Memorial, Rochester, New York

Casket match, which was a brand new concept at the time. Back in April, Undertaker had sealed Warrior inside a casket, which eventually lead to Jake Roberts teaming up with Undertaker. The Warrior vs. Roberts feud never happened as Warrior was released from the company about a week after this, but the build was excellent and gave us Undertaker’s face turn soon after this.

Warrior slugs away on the floor to start and knocks Undertaker into the steps, which barely registers any response. They get inside where Warrior is cut off with a clothesline and a running boot in the corner. A slam has no effect on Undertaker so Warrior tries his running clotheslines instead.

Undertaker uppercuts him down and hits the safest Tombstone of all time to knock Warrior lukewarm. Choking won’t get Warrior in the casket as it revives him instead. How exactly did that guy work anyway? Undertaker finally gets him in but, after waiting the better part of thirty seconds with his hand on the lid, can’t shut the thing. Instead, Warrior steals the urn and clocks Undertaker, setting up the win at 5:39.

Rating: D+. There’s a reason this idea has been around for so many years. It might not be the most complicated thing in the world but it’s a perfect way to keep someone protected while also giving the winner a victory. Undertaker would of course be fine as losing a dark match isn’t going to hurt anyone. Bad match of course, but the fans were WAY into the near finishes.

Warrior leaves and Undertaker pops out of the casket, making the zombie look feel all the stronger.

Ric Flair vs. Roddy Piper
Date: October 1, 1991
Location: Huntington Civic Center, Huntington, West Virginia

Another dark match at a Prime Time taping with the time code included. They had been trading insults on TV in recent weeks so the crowd should be hot here. Flair even has the uncensored Big Gold Belt to really make it feel different. Piper wastes no time in hammering away in the corner and raking Flair’s eyes on the top rope ala Arn Anderson.

They head outside with Flair getting the better of it (that’s an odd one) before losing a chop off back inside. Ric goes to the eyes though (that’s more like it) and now the chops work a bit better. It’s already off to the leg with some kicks and the cannonball but Piper does his best Sting impression when he no sells the chops in the corner. Flair gets slammed off the top (such a stupid Nature Boy) but a classic low blow brings Piper down again. It’s chair time but the ref gets bumped, meaning there’s no count off Piper’s small package.

In the most ridiculous visual I’ve seen in a long time, a second referee comes in, bypasses Piper covering Flair to check on the down referee, and then JUMPS UP to count a pin on Piper when Flair rolls him up at 5:54. There’s no bell though and Piper beats Flair up some more, only to have the referee take the chair away. Flair grabs another rollup to pin Piper again at 6:52. Geez was Piper in trouble or something?

Rating: C. The wrestling worked just fine, which was all you could have expected given how many times these two have fought each other. Their stuff about nine years earlier was excellent and there was no reason to believe this would have been anything else. The ending was ridiculous though and I have no idea why they jobbed Piper twice (more than he had done in most years) in less than a minute. At least tell me the referee was fired for being that biased.

Post match Piper stays on Flair, hitting a few weak chair shots.

Back to Charly and Sean, including a box labeled No Holds Barred: Alt Ending. I laughed. Anyway, Charly finds a taped labeled Mr. Madness, which is a house show only character that Randy Savage did after losing his career at Wrestlemania VII. In other words, it’s the original Juan Cena. This is fallout from the Savage/Liz wedding reception where Jake and Undertaker interrupted with a cobra because they’re real villains.

Mr. Madness vs. Jake Roberts
Date: November 12, 1991
Location: Springfield Civic Center, Springfield, Massachusetts
Attendance: 8,500

Dig that Trust Me entrance music for Jake! Unfortunately Mr. Madness isn’t a costume or anything and is just the same old Savage. You know, because that’s a huge problem. But really, not even a mask or a different outfit or anything. Kind of disappointing really. Savage is all over him to start and elbows Jake (wearing a snake handler’s glove) in the throat, only to get kneed in the ribs.

Some choking on the ropes sets up the snap left hands. The DDT is broken up but Savage is sent outside as the beating continues. Jake gets posted though and Savage hits the top rope ax handle. Savage chairs him down and even though there’s no bell, we’ll say it’s a DQ at 4:32.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here and I was actually disappointed by having Mr. Madness just be the same old Savage. If it’s just a house show, just say that it’s a trial period or something. I don’t get the idea here but it’s not like it really matters. What does matter is how the match was nothing as Savage showed far less fire than usual and got beaten up for a long time before snapping at the end. It makes sense, but their match less than a month later at This Tuesday in Texas was great.

More chair shots send Jake bailing before he can pull out the snake.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair
Date: November 12, 1991
Location: Springfield Civic Center, Springfield, Massachusetts
Attendance: 8,500

Same show as before with Hogan defending, but more importantly this includes the FAKE Big Gold Belt, which is exactly what it sounds like. They were still doing the Real World Champion deal but had lost the NWA World Title so this was something they had made. It was never on TV (the blurred belt was often a Tag Team Title, which looked ridiculous in person) and to the best of my knowledge, there’s only one actual photo of the thing. Oddly enough it looks like a cross between the Big Gold Belt and the AWA World Title, which is quite the visual. Flair also has Mr. Perfect with him.

The crowd is RABID for Hogan here and we hit the early stall button. The only contact in the first two minutes is Flair shoving Hogan away. A second shove gets us to two and a half minutes and Flair won’t lock up. More walking around and WOOing ensues until Hogan draws a line on the mat. Flair crosses it with a headlock and Hogan actually goes down to one knee. A shoulder puts Flair down and it’s time to slow down again, this time with Hogan getting the headlock.

Hogan clotheslines him to the floor and the fans are going nuts for their hero. Back in and Flair says he’s been there twenty four times (not even he could think he has that many World Titles so I’m not sure what that means) but a poke to the eye puts Hogan in trouble. Hogan no sells the chops and fires off right hands in the corner, followed by biting the forehead. In the words of Gorilla Monsoon, perhaps hungry.

The Flair Flip sets up a clothesline off the apron and that’s enough for a walk up the aisle. Ever the champion, Hogan won’t let that happen and drags Flair back inside and is promptly snapmared down for a knee to the head. Flair whips him into the corner but Hogan drops to the mat for some reason (like you would on a regular running the ropes spot), meaning Flair has to jump over him to hit the buckle.

Hogan trips him up from behind and rakes the face to complete a rather strange (yet effective) sequence. Perfect offers a distraction though and it’s time to go after the knee. A good crotching against the post keeps Hogan in trouble and the knee is kicked again. The Figure Four is broken up but since Flair never learns, Hogan breaks it up a second time.

Speaking of never learns, Flair, top rope, slam. Hogan yells at the referee though, allowing Perfect to slip in the foreign object for the knockout shot. The Hulking Up is on but Flair bails outside after the big boot. Hogan follows and gets poked in the eye for his efforts but is still able to send Flair into the steps for the countout win at 14:54.

Rating: B. Heck of a match here but it’s a great example of why Hogan vs. Flair never worked in the WWF. Simply put: no one is going to buy Flair as a threat to win the title. Hogan doesn’t get pinned and he’s never going to give up in the Figure Four, so why should I buy that Flair is going to take the title? Flair was a great character and knows how to get people to care about him, but it was still a culture clash with Flair not being able to do his style of a match (meaning he would need at least half an hour) and never being a real threat. It was a good idea on paper, but practically this was never going to work.

Posing ensues.

And now, a Piper’s Pit from Toledo, Ohio on April 7, 1992 with Piper fresh off losing the Intercontinental Title. Piper brings up losing the title and praises Bret as a great champion. He was about to leave and go mess with his Jetski but the company wanted him back for some Pits. The company is going through some scandals at the moment (whoa) and it’s time to get something positive going.

Tonight, the Pit is going to be based on audience participation. Therefore, whenever the fans think the person is lying, they need to make a barking noise. The first guest: the Brooklyn Brawler with Piper asking fans for questions. First up is why doesn’t Brawler take a bath? Brawler says he’s a millionaire. Piper asks what that’s going to do with taking a bath but Brawler says he’s going TO BE a millionaire.

Brawler won’t look at Piper but eventually says he’ll be the next World Heavyweight Champion. Piper: “I ain’t never seen you win a match.” He’ll do it by not doing what Piper did at Wrestlemania so Brawler grabs the bell (which Piper refused to use against Hart, and if you don’t that, you shouldn’t be here). Violence is threatened so Piper pokes him in the eye and clocks Brawler with the bell instead.

Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog
Date: June 30, 1992
Location: Broome County Arena, Binghamton, New York
Attendance: 4,000

Bret’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line and I’m assuming this is a practice match for Summerslam. Well in theory it’s non-title as the title is held up before the match and nothing is said. There’s always a chance that this might have been planned for a home video release and then changed so maybe the announcement would be dubbed in later. A headlock and shoulder block go badly for Bret as he gets knocked all the way outside.

Back in and Bret takes him down with a headlock for a change before a small package gets two. It’s an interesting style here as they’re moving very fast in bursts and then slowing it back down. The movement is very crisp though, as you might expect. Bulldog escapes the headlock and grabs a hammerlock to start in on the arm. Back up and it’s Bret cranking on the arm until Bulldog rolls away (that must be a family thing) and snaps on the armbar all over again. Bret fights up and gets in an atomic drop, followed by the chinlock.

Now it’s Bulldog getting up and trying the crucifix, only to get dropped hard on his back instead. A backslid gets two on Bret and the fans are WAY into these near falls. The middle rope elbow connects and Bulldog has a broken nose. The threat of a Sharpshooter has Bulldog scurrying for the ropes and an enziguri of all things puts Bret on his face. There’s the delayed vertical for two but Bret is right back up with a sleeper to slow things down. Bulldog fights up and it’s a double hiptoss to put both guys on the floor. Bulldog gets back in first but Bret jumps over him and grabs a German suplex for the pin at 14:20.

Rating: B. They weren’t quite up to the Summerslam level but that’s not exactly a fair comparison. These two definitely had chemistry together and it’s almost strange to see Bret get a clean pin on him. It’s also interesting that their famous match is so much different than this one. That shows how talented they are as they had two good matches with different structures while most people can’t even have one of them.

Papa Shango/Kamala vs. Bret Hart/Ultimate Warrior
Date: October 13, 1992
Location: Argidome, Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada

I’d give good money to hear either of these teams just having a conversation about anything. Bret literally won the WWF Title the day before and Warrior is in his weird singlet look here. Warrior and Kamala start with the guy with the painted moons on his stomach (Meaning Kamala. You know, that might actually need some clarification in this case as you never know with Warrior.) bails in fear. Instead he’ll try Bret and has to bail to the ropes to get out of an armbar.

For some reason Bret agrees to a test of strength (Ugandans are known for their Greco Roman Knuckle Locks) and then stomps on Kamala’s bare foot to show off some intelligence. Kamala hands it off to the guy with boots as I continue to be astounded that he’s the future Godfather. Some shoulders give Bret a breather but Kamala hits him in the throat to cut him off again. Shango charges into a knee though and it’s back to Warrior for three clotheslines on Shango, a slam to Kamala and the splash to pin Shango at 7:09.

Rating: D. This would have been bad even by house show main event standards, which is about as low as you can get at this point. Maybe Bret was still jazzed from winning the title or something but this one wasn’t working for me. Then again, what were you expecting with these combinations?

Undertaker vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Date: January 26, 1993
Location: Convention Center, Fresno, California

There’s a timer at the bottom (though a different kind than the previous versions), the quality seems a lot lower and neither guy has an entrance. It’s also hard cam only again, which is always a weird way to watch wrestling. Bigelow waits over a minute before throwing the first punch and gets choked in the corner as a result. You can’t waste time around here like that.

Old School connects but the jumping clothesline misses and Undertaker falls out to the floor. They head outside….and we lose them because we only have the hard cam. Back in and Undertaker misses a charge in the corner, allowing Bigelow to hit a clothesline to the back of the head. A headbutt keeps Undertaker down but the top rope version misses, allowing Undertaker to finish with a chokeslam at 5:25. The fans RUN for the exits as the show is over in a funny visual.

Rating: D. Another weak one here but this wasn’t supposed to be anything other than sending a big name out there to end the long taping session. Undertaker vs. Bigelow is a match that could have been good under the right circumstances and that’s not the case in a five minute match where we couldn’t see part of it. Not good, but that’s not their fault.

A very excited Charly starts making Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle puns because she’s just that awesome. What you are about to see is real and a MAJOR reason why I wanted to see this set.

Toxic Turtles vs. Tommy Stevenson/Ron Preston
Date: March 9, 1993
Location: Augusta Civic Center, Augusta, Georgia
Attendance: 8,000

That would be Tom and Terry Turtle (Barry Hardy/Duane Gill respectively) and it’s EXACTLY what it sounds like. This lasted one night only for any two of the 19 obvious reasons you’ve thought of so far. The ring announcer makes sure to announce that the jobbers weigh 488lbs combined rather than saying one of the average sized guys weighs that on his own. For absolutely no apparent reason, the Turtles are from Terrytown, Texas. The costumes are TMNT costumes almost to perfection, even down to the masks.

Since you can’t see their faces, we’ll say Raphael starts with Preston and it’s a lot of rolling around while the fans are SILENT. Like even the kids aren’t responding, mainly because TMNT was WAY past its peak at this point. Donatello comes in for a double dropkick and a near fall but gets stuck on his shell and needs assistance getting up. These guys are like the anti-Hunchbacks.

Preston gets his arm worked over and the booing begins. Raphael comes back in for some chops to the head and a headbutt, followed by a slingshot hilo for the pin at 2:19. Stevenson was never in the match and it was crazy weird, but the Turtles fought with honor, and that’s all that matters. This was everything I expected and worse, but my goodness what a cool thing to see, just due to hearing about it for years.

Disc 3

To show you this show’s sense of humor and for you who will get this joke, this disc starts with Sean throwing away a box labeled T. Magee because there’s nothing in it. Again, I laughed. Next up is a box labeled 1993 Post WM 9. This next one might be a little scary.

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez
Date: April 5, 1993
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 7,000

Well yeah it is scary. This is the day after Wrestlemania IX so that box is quite accurate. Also another one with the timer and hard cam only. Again: it’s so strange to have the music playing but not cutting to the entrance, meaning the first time you see Undertaker is as he gets on the apron.

Gonzalez jumps him from behind to start and sends Undertaker into a few buckles. A clothesline sends Undertaker outside and the camera shifts to the side so we can see the brawl. Back in and Gonzalez kicks him in the chest, followed by a clothesline to the floor. Undertaker comes right back with headbutts and uppercuts but Gonzalez steals the urn and clocks Undertaker for the DQ at 3:28.

Rating: F. Yeah there’s really defending Gonzalez as he really is one of the worst of all time. Part of the problem is he’s just so big and there’s not much that can be done with him. When Undertaker can’t do anything with you, you’re to the point where there’s nothing that can be done. This was somehow worse than Wrestlemania, which I didn’t think was possible.

Undertaker sits up and fights Gonzalez to the back. Somehow this kept going until Summerslam.

Smoking Gunns vs. Barry Horowitz/Reno Riggins
Date: April 5, 1993
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 7,000

Same show as the previous match and The Gunns are Kip Winchester (Billy) and Brett Colt (Bart). The Gunns are making their debut here and are virtually the same, save for a few (mostly cosmetic) changes. It’s even the same gear and entrance costumes. The female fans seem VERY pleased when the Gunns take their shirts off.

Billy and Barry start as we’re on the wide shot from the hard camera again. A hiptoss takes Barry down to start and we’re in an early armbar. Bart does the same as to Reno as they’re certainly not shying away from the early arm work. A double Russian legsweep gets two but the referee isn’t pleased with the cheating, allowing Barry and Reno (sounds like a bad Vegas act) to choke Bart in the corner.

Reno grabs an abdominal stretch as the Gunns are giving up a lot more than I would have expected here. A back elbow gives Barry two and it’s back to Reno for a chinlock. Back up and Bart shoulders him down, allowing the hot tag off to Billy. Everything breaks down and Billy cleans house with some dropkicks. A powerslam sets up the top rope bulldog to give Billy the pin at 9:41.

Rating: C-. Not half bad here as the Gunns were clearly good enough to get a job in the near future as a result. The Gunns were actually a pretty good team for their time, even though they were a pretty standard gimmick. That being said, the division was hardly worth anything in the first place so any good team (and the Gunns were one) was going to do well.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Perfect
Date: April 6, 1993
Location: Tuscon Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona

Shawn is defending and the camera doesn’t move again. Perfect wastes no time in slugging away and the fans are right there with him. The running knee lifts knock Shawn into the corner and there’s a whip to send Shawn out to the floor. They brawl on the outside and it’s kind of hard to see what’s going on as they’re opposite the camera.

Back in with Shawn choking on the ropes until a hard right hand knocks him away. Shawn drops him again though and we hit the chinlock. The fans deem it perfect so at least they appreciate good chinlockery. I’m sure Shawn would agree too. Perfect fights up and slams Shawn down by the hair, followed by a toss across the phone by said hair. That’s followed by a crotching against the post and a hard shot to the head gives Perfect two.

The ref gets bumped and Shawn brings in the title, only to have it knocked away. There’s the PerfectPlex and a second referee comes in to count the pin at 6:05. As ring announcer Mike McGuirk declares Perfect “the new champion of the World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Title”, the first ref waves it off because of the bump and Shawn retains via DQ.

Rating: C. Totally standard match here but the fans were entirely into the whole thing. They probably did this in every city and there’s nothing wrong with that as it gives the fans something fun and it’s not like there’s a ton of ways to know what’s going on at the moment, at least not to the masses. Also, better chemistry here than they had at Summerslam.

Skippy Taylor vs. Tazmaniac
Date: May 5, 1993
Location: Exposition Building, Portland, Maine
Attendance: 2,700

Now this is interesting as we have Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Taz when Taz was basically a caveman. Scotty is from Maine and would likely just be a local job guy at this point. Tazmaniac wristlocks him into a suplex but Taylor flips over his back into a dropkick. A hard headbutt puts Skippy (yes Skippy) down and it’s a Tazplex followed by a chinlock. Back up and Scotty (who is oddly the bigger guy here) gets suplexed again and we hit a neck crank. A sunset flip gives Taylor two and Taz goes up (Huh?), only to dive into a right hand to the ribs. Not that it matters as an overhead belly to belly gives Taz the pin at 3:30.

Rating: D. What were you expecting from a caveman character? Taylor was as generic of a wrestler as you could have asked for at this point and yet he still looked better than Taz. What are you expecting to get out of a caveman? Nothing match of course and I’m not surprised that neither guy was hired at this point, though Taylor likely wasn’t a candidate for a job anyway.

Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna
Date: May 5, 1993
Location: Exposition Center, Portland, Maine
Attendance: 2,700

Same show as before (but not a hard camera match for some reason) and the final match of the show. Bret gets a strong reaction as you might have guessed. We get the long delay for Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji’s ritual and you can hear Bret call him fat. Bret even jumps him during the salt throwing and alternates between shots to the head and stomach. See, he’s versatile. A clothesline takes Bret down though and it’s time to slow things up.

Choking on the ropes wakes Bret up a bit but his comeback earns him a right hand to the throat. A trip to the floor sees Bret going into the steps and the big leg crushes him again back inside. The brilliant fans chant USA to cheer on the Canadian….and it seems to work as Bret avoids the corner charges. A middle rope bulldog gives Bret two and a regular version drops the big man again. Bret gets the Sharpshooter but Fuji comes in for the DQ at 5:26.

Rating: D+. They weren’t trying here but a lot of that was due to the amount of time they had. It’s not like these two are going to have a great match in the first place and cutting it down to less than five minutes counting everything with the salt didn’t do it any favors. Yokozuna would get better after crushing Hogan in about a month.

Post match Owen Hart comes in for the save but gets beaten down until Bret makes the save with a chair.

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs
Date: June 14, 1993
Location: Columbus Convention Center, Columbus, Ohio
Attendance: 3,700

Hogan/Beefcake of course in another Wrestlemania IX rematch. This is the day after King of the Ring 1993 and Money Inc.’s second match of the night after losing the Tag Team Titles to the Steiners earlier in the night (which they would win back two days later, only to lose them for good to the Steiners again three days later). Sgt. Slaughter is guest referee and you can see the Coliseum Video logos, meaning this was likely originally intended for home release but didn’t make it for whatever reason.

Money Inc. jumps them during the entrances and get cleared out in as short of a fashion as you would guess. Hogan poses and egads it’s still weird to see him this small in the WWF. More long form stalling ensues (definitely a thing back then and a lost art today) with Slaughter doing a weapons check as we’re finally ready to go two minutes plus after the bell. Hogan and DiBiase finally start….and we get a second bell. Egads why is this so complicated?

DiBiase forearms him in the back to start but Slaughter shoves Ted out of the corner when Hogan is on the ropes. How physical of him. Hogan uses the distraction to poke DiBiase in the eye (because Bobby Heenan was right about him being a no good cheater) and it’s off to Beefcake for some chops in the corner. IRS wants time out until DiBiase goes back in, walking right into an armdrag.

Ted suggests a hair pull and demonstrates it on Slaughter, but the fans (and Hogan) say it didn’t happen. Beefcake gets another armdrag and DiBiase says he did it again. Therefore Slaughter demonstrates the armdrag on DiBiase before tripping him down to give Beefcake two. Everything breaks down and it’s Hogan clotheslining IRS so Beefcake can hit him in the throat. Slaughter of course yells, so Hogan gets in a cheap shot. Hogan and Beefcake are making a snappy heel team here.

An IRS distraction finally lets DiBiase get in a few cheap shots and Slaughter cuts Hogan off from making a save. We’re firmly in the formula now, including IRS sweating profusely despite not doing much yet. DiBiase grabs a chinlock and now we get in an argument with Slaughter over the lack of a tag. Therefore, IRS has to let go of his chinlock so DiBiase can get in his own.

It’s back to IRS for more chinlockery as this is just dying in a hurry. Beefcake is up at the third arm drop and suplexes his way to freedom, allowing the hot tag to Hogan. Everything breaks down and IRS grabs the briefcase, which Hogan uses to clock DiBiase in the head. Slaughter then clocks both members of Money Inc….and disqualifies them at 12:21?

Rating: D-. What in the world was that supposed to be? Were they taking the night off (from that rigorous Hogan formula) and wanted to do something more “fun”? This might have worked if you cut off four minutes and REALLY toned down the Slaughter stuff (he came off as the star of the match) but as it was, total misfire here and really boring for the most part. Then again it’s not like the Wrestlemania match was anything good either.

Posing ensues, as is the custom.

Lex Luger vs. Ludvig Borga
Date: October 20, 1993
Location: Burlington Civic Center, Burlington, Vermont
Attendance: 2,500

Another Coliseum Video match and my goodness the fans have cooled on Luger since his Summerslam loss. Like he’s just a guy now. The USA chants begin and of course annoy Borga but just makes me think Jim Duggan could get an even stronger response at this point (impressive since he was gone from the company).

Borga powers him down to start and let’s stand around a bit. A shove sends Luger into the corner and we’re somehow almost three minutes into this. Luger shouts about Finland as Borga almost gets in a fight with a fan, who takes his shirt off.

The fans are rather pleased (no clue why) so Luger calms them down with a headlock. Well you wouldn’t want to get them too fired up. We stall some more and it’s time for a USA chant, followed by a wristlock from Luger. A shoulder and crossbody put Borga down for a second and it’s right back to the wristlock.

Lex charges into a boot in the corner though and Borga punches him down. But wait, let’s yell at the shirtless guy some more. At this point it’s clear why this didn’t make Coliseum Video and we’re all better for that. Of course it’s off to the chinlock before a clothesline gets two on Lex. Luger’s rollup gets the same but he comes back with the forearm for the pin at 11:13.

Rating: F. It’s kind of amazing how terrible Luger could be when he wasn’t motivated, which is made worse by how rarely he actually was motivated. This was terrible and one of the worst matches on the set so far. Then again that’s not surprising as this was a very dark era for the company and it wasn’t about to get any better.

Randy Savage vs. Crush
Date: February 1, 1994
Location: Westchester County Civic Center, White Plains, New York
Attendance: 3,000

The time clock is back. This is part of a big feud as Crush turned on Savage and cost him him announcer’s job, sending Savage over the edge (took about six inches of pushing) and into a rage for revenge. Savage jumps him on the floor to start and posts his head for good measure. They get inside with Savage going for the elbow way too early but getting distracted by Mr. Fuji anyway.

Savage grabs a chair instead but the referee yelling at him allows Crush to get in his first big shot. Suddenly we go to a very wide shot (blood maybe)…and then zoom back in like usual. Is the director drunk or something? Crush knocks him down and poses a bit, allowing Savage to grab a hiptoss. The ax handle sends Crush rolling outside and he sends Savage into the barricade.

Back in we hit the bearhug as the USA chants begin. At least there’s a Japanese flag to go with the Hawaiian villain. Some shots to the back keep Savage down and it’s off to a bow and arrow hold of all things. Not exactly what you would expect from Crush but it’s not a match people are supposed to see. A slow motion tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gives Crush two but Savage finally sends him into the buckle for a breather. Crush’s suplex is reversed so he goes for the salt, only to have it knocked into his face. Now the elbow can give Savage the pin at 8:54.

Rating: C-. Not bad at all here as Savage could sell perfectly and Crush could work the back more than well enough. The anger was there to start but kind of died near the end, though at least there was a story and some intensity. I’ve always liked this feud and while this was a far cry from their Wrestlemania match (which I liked as well), it was an improvement over what we’ve been seeing.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Jim Neidhart
Date: October 21, 1994
Location: Montreal Forum, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Attendance: 16,843

Bret is defending (in case you’re REALLY slow) as Neidhart returned earlier in the year to back Bret up, only to turn on him and side with Owen. I’ve seen these two have a title match from MSG in the same month and wasn’t incredibly impressed but maybe the Canadian air will help things out. Bret gets a hero’s reaction (of course) but Neidhart jumps him during the entrance.

Without even taking the jacket off, Bret comes back with a clothesline and the Sharpshooter, only to have Jeff Jarrett of all people run in for the beatdown. I believe the fans chant for Razor as we seem destined for a tag match but instead, this one begins (the bell never rang to start it) as Bret is mostly done. So yeah, Bret is getting screwed in a WWF World Title match in Montreal THREE YEARS EARLIER. Egads man stay in Calgary.

Bret avoids an early charge and hammers away before grabbing the beard. They head outside where Anvil forearms a post and Bret shoves Jarrett, who is still at ringside in a chair, over. Back in and Bret does the chest first buckle bump (well duh) and we hit a cobra clutch, which was actually called the Anvilizer. I have no idea why he called it that, what it means, or when in the world he ever used a sleeper to win a match but Neidhart could be a strange guy.

Neidhart lets it go and pounds him down as we’re into a pretty standard wheelhouse now. It’s off to the bearhug but Bret is out in a hurry, only to get kneed in the ribs for his efforts. The running powerslam (now that should be the Anvilizer) gets two and it’s back to the floor, hopefully with less forearming the post. That goes nowhere so Bret pulls him back in for a bulldog. The Russian legsweep gets two and Jarrett is rather pleased. Neidhart blocks the middle rope elbow though and catches Bret on top with the slam. For some reason Neidhart decides to try a top rope splash and the miss sets up the rollup to retain at 6:35.

Rating: C. They were smart to keep this short as I’m not sure how much longer Neidhart could have gone in a singles match. He’s very one dimensional (nothing wrong with that as there’s always a place for a power guy like Neidhart) and that’s not the best choice to go in a long match. Thankfully Bret is right there to keep things together, even with the rather pesky Jarrett interference, which didn’t mean anything in the end.

Sean is on a ladder with Charly saying this isn’t the safest thing in the world. Sean: “Try interviewing Andre the Giant after Bobby the Brain Heenan told him that I said he wasn’t a real giant.” He’s found some unseen ladder matches and Charly doesn’t buy it because everyone has seen the same ladder matches.

….and now here’s Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon from Wrestlemania X, but Charly stops the tape because that’s already been on a bunch of home releases. Ok that was funny.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. British Bulldog
Date: May 16, 1995
Location: O’Neil Center, Danbury, Connecticut
Attendance: 1,800

Jeff is defending, though oddly enough he would lose the title to Razor in a ladder match at a house show, only to get it back in another ladder match three days later. These were mentioned on Raw and would really make for a better entry here, assuming they were filmed. I’ve seen the one from three days before this via fan cam so they were very common around this time.

The camera work is much lower level than usual with a lot of moving over to other things rather than cuts. Jeff hammers away to start but gets caught in the (only slightly) delayed vertical suplex. That earns Bulldog a throw to the floor where Roadie gets in a clothesline as I wonder why Luger, who came to the ring with Bulldog, didn’t stick around. Of course just after I finish saying that, here’s Luger to punch Roadie in the face and chase him to the back. Bulldog gets in another suplex and the go outside (and off camera) until Bulldog brings in the first ladder.

Jeff makes a save and hits him in the ribs with the ladder before starting the climb. In one of the rare smart moves you’ll see in a ladder match, Jeff sees Bulldog coming and jumps down to kick him instead of being shoved over. Of course he’s shoved over a few seconds later but at least he did it right once. A ladder shot to the ribs puts Jeff down and Bulldog makes a very shaky climb, only to have it cut off as well. Bulldog whips him into the ladder again and goes up but gets dropkicked down. That’s enough for Jarrett to retain at 7:15.

Rating: C. Perfectly acceptable ladder match here, especially for a dark match at a Superstars taping. They didn’t have a ton of time but this was the paint by numbers version as it’s not like they had a ton of big match ladder matches to draw from at this point. Bulldog was fine for a quick challenger like this, though I’m kid of surprised that Jeff won clean.

Post match Bulldog goes after Jeff like a sore loser but Roadie comes in to chop block him. Luger makes the save.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon
Date: June 5, 1995
Location: Struthers High School, Struthers, Ohio
Attendance: 1,450

From a Raw taping and Jeff is defending in another ladder match. Hang on a second as Jeff says the belt is too high. The belt is lowered a bit, which would seem to make it easier for the taller Razor to retrieve. They slug it out to start with Razor of course getting the better of it until he ducks his head and gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker. Razor goes outside and grabs the ladder, which is quickly baseball slid (Slided? Sliden?) into his ribs.

Even in a short match like this, that’s way too early to go up so Razor gets back in for the save. Again though, Jeff is smart enough to come down and hit him in the ribs with the ladder. The ladder is dropped onto Razor but he makes another save. You may be noticing a pattern emerging here. This time it’s Jarrett catching Razor on top and shoving the ladder over to put both guys down.

The Razor’s Edge is broken up with Jeff backdropping him over the top, which of course means a banged up knee. The knee is fine enough to make another save though and they’re both down again. Jeff gets sent into the ladder in the corner a few times but one more shove down allowing him to retain the title at 10:23.

Rating: C+. This was much more the standard ladder match with a little more time to make it better. Jarrett and Ramon had some good chemistry together and it made for a better match as a result. It’s interesting that the matches are rather different with this one being more like a standard ladder match while the first was a match that happened to involve a ladder. Both were good though as Jarrett is a talented performer, as long as you keep him away from the main event scene.

Post match Razor gives him the Edge and picks up the title, only to drop it on the unconscious Jarrett.

Charly and Sean find a box of New Generation tapes and, after suggesting that Mooney lives in the vault (works for me), we have a tape of Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart as partners. Charly: “How does that sound?” Sean: “It sounds like it would be a heart break, kid.” Charly’s face tells you everything you need to know here.

Shawn Michaels/Bret Hart vs. Hakushi/Jerry Lawler
Date: July 26, 1995
Location: Kiel Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 10,500

Another Coliseum Video match. This happened a handful of other times but is still one of those things you never can imagine seeing. The villains jump them to start and the ropes seem a bit loose. Hakushi sends Bret into the corner to start and hits a cartwheel elbow. It’s off to Lawler for some choking before Hakushi comes back in for a knee drop. The threat of a Shawn (sporting a bit of a beard here) right hand scares Lawler away and it’s off to choking in the corner.

Hakushi’s Bronco Buster keeps Bret in trouble as this is one sided so far. Choking ensues on the ropes and then in the corner to continue the riveting pace. Shawn FINALLY does something by chasing after Hakushi and hitting him in the head. I mean, it would be better if he were legal so Bret pulls Lawler face first into the post. Bret finally avoids a charge and brings in Shawn to clean house. The top rope ax handle gets two and the elbow drop is good for the same as everything breaks down. The Sharpshooter puts Hakushi away at 11:41.

Rating: D-. This was terrible, which says a lot given how much chemistry Bret had with both of them. There’s not much he can do though in a choking special like this as no one seemed all that interested in working hard here. Shawn especially looked bored out of his mind and barely did anything until the very end.

WWF World Title: Diesel vs. Yokozuna
Date: July 26, 1995
Location: Kiel Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 10,500

Same show as before with Diesel defending in a cage. Diesel slugs away to start but gets dropped by a hard shot to the chest. Yokozuna misses the big elbow though and it’s time to lay down for a long time. Back up and Diesel hits a headbutt to drop the monster but falls down as well for the second double knockdown in less than three minutes. Diesel goes up first, only to get crotched on the top.

The big splash misses and let’s lay down again! Diesel catches him going out with a good crotching of his own, followed by right hands on the mat. That’s still not enough to get out though and Diesel goes into the cage. The big leg misses as Yokozuna is really bad at this leaving his feet thing. After sending Diesel into the cage again, Yokozuna decides to climb, freaking Jim Cornette out in the process.

That works as well as you would expect as Diesel sends him into the cage and knocks the big man down. Diesel is caged as well though and it’s ANOTHER double knockdown. Geez people come up with something new. They both go for an exit at the same time and it’s Diesel getting over the top before Yokozuna can make it through the door to retain at 11:20.

Rating: F. Egads what a mess of a match. They were out there for less than twelve minutes and somehow managed to have FOUR double knockdown spots. How do you even do that? This wasn’t going to be a good idea as Yokozuna was just too big at this point and there wasn’t anything that almost anyone could do with him.

Sean and Charly wrap it up while teasing a sequel. Post copyright notice, we see Sean going to a makeshift bed in the warehouse, complete with Ultimate Warrior Wrestling Buddy.

Overall Rating: A. Oh come on like I’m going to do anything but love this. This was all about changing things up and offering a bunch of stuff that you actually haven’t seen before, which is a lot better than seeing the same matches over and over again. They even make fun of that trope with the Shawn vs. Razor ladder match. It starts to run out of steam near the end but egads the amount of stuff they must have in that vault.

There better be a sequel to this as they could probably make half a dozen of these things without getting repetitive. That’s the beauty of having archives dating back nearly fifty years. They could easily do one of these for multiple eras and they would all be must buys. This was one of the most entertaining sets I’ve seen, just for the amount of times it made my eyebrows go up at what I was seeing. If you’re a fan of this time period, go out of your way to find this as it’s a straight blast.

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Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7, 1986
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York/Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois/Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,585 (New York), 9,000 (Chicago), 14,500 (Los Angeles), 40,085 (Total)
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Susan St. James, Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Cathy Lee Crosby, Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Elvira

This is one of those ideas that they tried once and only once before never thinking about doing it again. After the success of Wrestlemania, the idea was that Wrestlemania 2 had to be bigger, so Vince came up with the idea of splitting it into three cities. This show is widely considered to be one of if not the worst Wrestlemania of all time and with main events such as Piper vs. Mr. T. in a boxing match and Hogan vs. Bundy in a cage it’s not hard to see why. Let’s get to it.

This is on a Monday for some reason.

This was a tape I watched to death back when I was a kid so the theme music for this brings a smile to my face.

Vince opens things up in New York and introduces Susan St. James, a popular actress of the day, to be his co-commentator.

Ray Charles sings America the Beautiful.

Gene is in Chicago and welcomes us to the city for later on.

Roddy Piper and his trainer for the fight Lou Duva (famous boxing trainer) say Piper is ready. Piper promises to quit wrestling and boxing if he gets knocked out. He’ll also quick playing tiddlywinks and dating girls, but he’ll stick with Bob Orton of course. Those two spent WAY too much time together.

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

This is fallout from the main event of Mania last year as Orndorff turned face due to Piper and Orton leaving him behind. Muraco is an associate of Piper so this is kind of a proxy feud for Paul. Muraco has Fuji with him too. Both guys say they’ll win in a voiceover as the match starts. Paul slams Muraco down to start and the crowd is already hot. Orndorff makes a slant eyes face at Fuji which today would get him thrown out of the company. In 1986, he was making $20,000 a week later in the year. It’s funny how times change.

Paul takes him down to the mat with an armbar as Susan St. James clearly has no idea what’s going on. She’s trying but this isn’t something she knows about at all it would seem. Paul cranks on a wristlock before going back down to the armbar. Susan: “He looks like he’s using some ancient Chinese techniques”. Uh…yeah. Muraco finally escapes and sends Paul into the corner, only to have Orndorff go off on him as they brawl to the floor. In something you won’t ever hear again I don’t think, the opening match of Wrestlemania goes to a double countout. The fans chant some expletives.

Rating: D. What do you want here? The match is four minutes long and ends in a double countout. It was hot while it lasted, but the problem is that it didn’t last long enough at all. This was a pretty big feud and it gets a four minute match? That’s all they can spare these guys? Orndorff would have a MEGA heel turn later in the summer which would eventually draw 74,000 people to an outdoor show in Toronto. That’s some drawing power.

Mr. T. says he doesn’t like to do a lot of talking before a fight before proceeding to talk more in 30 seconds than Goldberg said in his entire career. To show you the production values, he’s drowned out by Fink announcing the results of the previous match.

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

This was a pretty big feud that also wound up meaning a lot more the next year than it does here. The basic idea is that George is in love with Liz and doesn’t like how Savage treats her. There’s a great angle right there that hasn’t been used in a LONG time (Punk/AJ/Bryan isn’t the same thing). Savage in an inset interview babbles as only Savage can without saying anything of note.

Steele does a freaky kind of dance and Savage immediately bails to the floor. That works so well that they do it again and make it three times until FINALLY George chases after him. Steele catches Savage going back in and bites his calf before they head back in. Randy hits a running knee to the chest but Steele easily lifts him into the air and chokes him down. George gets caught looking at Liz though and is tied up in the ropes so Savage pounds away.

A top rope cross body gets two for the champ (Savage in case you’re really young) and Steele throws him to the floor. Randy slips under the ring and sneaks up on George, only to get bitten on the arm. Savage goes to the floor and finds….a bouquet of flowers? George shoves them into Randy’s face before going to eat a turnbuckle (don’t ask).

The stuffing goes into Savage’s face but Steele AGAIN gets distracted by Liz, allowing Savage to hit the ax handle to the back. Back in and Savage hits the slam and elbow for two. Wait what? This is 1986 and the SAVAGE ELBOW only gets two? Steele grabs Savage by the face and sends him into the corner, only to get tripped up and pinned with the feet on the ropes to retain the title.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where your individual taste is going to vary a lot. On one hand, it’s a comedy match but not an incredibly funny one, while on the other hand it’s terrible from a wrestling perspective. On the other hand, you have three hands and should see a surgeon immediately. The point is this wasn’t much of a match and never would have made it onto a modern Mania card. Of course it wouldn’t; the Intercontinental Title doesn’t exist around Wrestlemania time. Also, of all the people in the WWF, GEORGE STEELE gets to kick out of the elbow? REALLY? This was fun for the goofiness if nothing else.

Savage and Liz immediately bail so Steele eats another buckle.

Bill Fralic (a football player) and Big John Studd are both in a battle royal later today and they talk some trash, once again being drowned out by Fink.

Vince asks Susan if she likes snakes. Make your own jokes.

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Wells is a former football player who never did another thing of note in wrestling other than be in this match. Jake is brand new at this point and is promptly run over and backdropped down in the first ten seconds. A flying shoulder takes Jake down and there’s a headbutt for good measure. Wells hits a decent flying headscissors followed by a slam for no cover. A knee lift has Jake draped in the ropes and a powerslam gets two. Roberts comes back with a poke to the eyes and a knee lift followed by the DDT for the fast pin. This was pretty much domination until the last ten seconds.

Jake wraps George up in the snake post match and makes Wells foam at the mouth.

We recap Piper vs. T which is allegedly based on a boxing match that happened in Phoenix, as apparently we’re ignoring ALL of the stuff from last year that set up the first Wrestlemania.

Hogan predicts T to win and says his ribs will be fine in the cage tonight.

We introduce the “celebrities.” First up is Joan Rivers as guest ring announcer, Darryl Dawkins, Cab Calloway and G. Gordon Liddy as guest judges and Herb from Burger King commercials (you won’t remember him) is guest timekeeper.

Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T.

This is a boxing match with ten three minute rounds. T has Joe Frazier as his trainer and the Haiti Kid to counter Orton. Piper is the aggressor to start as Vince calls T’s defensive stance a peek-a-boo style. Roddy grabs on the ropes and T fires away some body shots. These rounds might only be two minutes rounds. Piper takes him into the corner but T bobs and weaves before popping Roddy in the face a few times. It turns into another brawl on the ropes for the last thirty seconds or so of the round.

Everyone comes in to break up the brawl and we take a break between rounds. T gets in a few shots to the face to open round 2 but Piper apparently has a bunch of goo on his face. There’s an Orton/Piper joke in there somewhere. After the face gets cleaned off Piper starts pounding away and T is in trouble. I’ll change the numbers again because the rounds are indeed three minutes long. Piper gets him into the corner and pounds away, dropping him with a pair of shots to the head after about seven shots that missed BADLY. That gets an eight count and round 2 ends with T going down just after the bell.

Piper gets in a few cheap shots after the bell because that’s the kind of guy he is. We start round 3 with T firing away but they’re clearly getting tired. Piper goes down in his corner but pulls himself up before the count. T pounds him right back down in the corner and this time gets a seven count. This turns into move of a shoving match until T gets in a right hand to knock Piper out of the ring and out to the floor. Round 3 ends with nothing of note going on.

T talks trash in between rounds so Piper throws his stool across the ring as round 4 begins. They slug it out with T finally taking over. Piper DRILLS him with a right hand that knocks T’s mouthpiece out. T comes back with the same kind of a punch….and then Piper shoves the referee down and slams T for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was one of those things that everyone knew was going to be a disaster and the best chance they had was to make it goofy. Thankfully we’re talking about Roddy Piper in the 80s so you know he can bring the goofy. There were some decent punches in here but like all other wrestling boxing matches, you knew it would end with some sort of a DQ. This was pretty much it for Mr. T in the WWF other than a few cameos later on.

Off to Chicago!

Gene and Gorilla bring in Kathy Lee Crosby to do commentary.

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Moolah is defending of course and hits about five hair mares in a row to start things off. Velvet comes back with some one footed dropkicks before going up and missing a splash for Moolah to get the pin. This barely lasted 90 seconds which may have been due to McIntyre’s outfit breaking when she came off the ropes.

Corporal Kirchner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

This is a flag match which means a regular match where the winner gets to wave their flag. For some reason the ring is VERY loud all of a sudden. Kirchner is a guy you likely won’t have heard of but he’s famous for being VERY stiff which is why he wasn’t around long. Blassie is with Nikolai here and his man hits a spinning kick to start.

We head to the floor where Volkoff rams him into the post and cuts the Corporal open with a piece of razor that he immediately puts back down into his trunks. Blassie yells at Kirchner a bit before they head back inside. It’s a slugout but Blassie throws in his cane which goes upside Nikolai’s head for the pin. This was another very short match.

Gene takes over the ring announcing for the NFL/WWF battle royal. There are six football players and fourteen wrestlers. Dick Butkus is a guest referee.

Battle Royal

NFL: Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry

WWF: Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bruno Sammartino, Jim Neidhart, Bret Hart

Perry is the hometown boy but once they said Andre’s name there was little doubt as to who was winning. Ernie Ladd jumps in on commentary as a former wrestler and football player. Andre chills in the corner and beats up anyone that comes near him. Perry gets ganged up on a few times in the corner but fights them off as Covert and Tonga go out. Francis goes after Andre like a crazy man and Holmes is gone.

The two giants go at it for a bit and Brunzell is gone. There’s never much to talk about in battle royals as most of it is just a bunch of brawls and the occasional elimination like Atlas going out here. Studd beats up Perry in the corner as Martin and Morales put each other out. Arcidi loads up Blair but Bruno makes the save for some reason. Not that it matters though as Arcidi is put out just a few seconds later. Spivey is gone as are Blair and Hillbilly. We’re down to about eight or so.

Fralic is dumped out by a bunch of people and Bruno backdrops Sheik out. Studd dumps Bruno and we’re down to Andre, Studd, Francis, Perry and the Harts. Perry shrugs off both Harts and sends them to the apron for the biggest pop of the night. He starts firing off tackles at Studd before running into an elbow for the elimination. Perry offers a handshake but pulls Studd out to the floor to another big pop. The Harts get Andre tied in the ropes and easily dump Francis. They pound away on Andre a bit but the big man is like dude please. He grabs Neidhart by the beard and kicks him out before tossing Bret on Anvil to win.

Rating: D. This was another pretty lame match with the football players not being able to do much due to not being wrestlers. Perry was incredibly popular and got a great reaction from the crowd, but other than him the NFL guys didn’t add anything at all here. Andre winning was the only logical choice and there’s not much else to say here.

Vince and Susan talk to Piper in New York and of course he says he’s awesome and didn’t lose at all.

Back in Chicago Jimbo Covert says he got cheated by Fralic. Iron Sheik says he’s proven wrestlers are better than football players.

We look at the end of the battle royal again.

Tag Titles: Dream Team vs. British Bulldogs

The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine and they’re defending. For absolutely no apparent reason, the Bulldogs have Ozzy freaking Osbourne in their corner. Smith and Valentine start things off with Davey pounding away in the corner. Off to a wristlock before Dynamite comes in to send Valentine into the buckle for two. There’s the snap suplex for no cover and it’s back to Davey for the delayed vertical.

Greg gets in a few shots in the corner including a forearm to the back to take over and finally bring in Brutus. He cranks on the arm and is immediately gorilla pressed down by Smith. Dynamite comes in again and gets two off a small package. Beefcake makes a blind tag though and Valentine comes in off the top via another forearm to the back and the champions take over. Kid comes right back and pounds away before bringing Smith back in.

The Bulldogs hit a double headbutt for two for Kid but Brutus comes in sans tag to switch momentum right back. Valentine gets two off a kneeling piledriver but falls victim to the Arn Anderson self-crotching mistake. He continues the Horsemen theme by going up top and getting slammed down ala Flair as everything breaks down. Dynamite gets sent to the floor so Smith comes in with the powerslam (not yet the finisher) for two on Valentine.

Davey misses a charges into the post though and his shoulder is hurt in a hurry. Brutus comes in to work over the arm and hits a kind of hammerlock slam. Valentine hits a shoulderbreaker but pulls up before covering. In a VERY sudden ending, Dynamite gets on the top rope while still illegal and Davey rams Valentine’s head into that of Dynamite for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a great or even a very good match but after nearly two hours of lame wrestling with nothing matches, this was a great breath of fresh air. The Bulldogs would be champions for the better part of a year while the Dream Team would survive for another year before splitting at the next Wrestlemania. Good stuff here though.

Both sets of announcers talk about the title change. I’ll give the female celebrities this: they sound like they’re enjoying themselves and they’re trying at least.

Off to Los Angeles.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Lee Marshall of non-fame in WCW is the announcer. This was supposed to be Steamboat vs. Hart but WWF saw more star power in Hernandez. This wasn’t their best time from a thinking standpoint. Hercules pounds on him to start but Steamboat goes to the arm as is his custom. A kick to the ribs puts Hernandez down and it’s off to an armbar. Back up and Steamboat does some leapfrogs before elbowing Herc down.

We head to the armbar again until Hernandez rams him into the buckle and hits a clothesline to take Steamboat down. A hot shot has Steamboat in trouble again but he comes back with a failed slam attempt that gives Hercules two. A pair of elbows get two more due to a very lazy cover. Hercules hits a tilt-a-whirl slam for two and there’s a gorilla press slam to go with it. Make it a pair of gorilla presses but Hernandez’s splash hits knees, allowing Ricky to hit the top rope cross body for the pin.

Rating: C-. Very basic match here with power vs. speed, although most of the speed guy’s offense involved an armbar. That’s something you have to get used to in Steamboat matches though so it’s not a disappointment or anything. The match itself was pretty dull stuff but Steamboat in the 80s is never a bad thing.

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

We hit the stereotypes now the gay character vs. the hillbilly character. Elmer, weighing roughly 450lbs, runs off Adonis and Jimmy Hart before the match and we get a good shot of Adrian’s pink dress. We finally get inside and Elmer starts pounding away before sending Adonis into the corner for a Flair Flip. Adrian gets sent into the corner two more times in a row with the second time landing him on the floor. Back in and there goes the dress as Adrian gets tied up in the ropes. A single punch to the chest puts Elmer down but he comes back with a corner splash, only to miss the big leg drop. A top rope headbutt gives Adrian a pin.

Rating: D-. What are you expecting here? We’ve got REALLY basic gimmicks (although Adonis wasn’t bad in his day) in a three minute match involving a man wearing a dress. This is what you call filler, albeit terrible filler. Elmer wouldn’t ever really do much in the WWF but he was a pretty big deal in the indies.

Adonis puts a flower on Elmer’s back post match.

We get Hogan’s second promo of the show with him saying he’s ready for Bundy and he begs Heenan to get involved.

Funk Brothers vs. Junkyard Dog vs. Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana

It’s Terry and Hoss here, with the latter being more famous as Dory Jr. Hoss and Dog start things off with JYD sending one Funk into another and slamming them both down before the Funks head to the floor for a breather. Off to Tito vs. Terry for a bit now and it’s a short bit as Terry gets clotheslined to the floor. Hoss takes a dropkick to send him out to be with his brother and the heels huddle on the floor again. Oh and they have Jimmy Hart too.

Back to the Dog vs.. Terry and they slug it out with Dog taking over. JYD rams Terry into the buckle so many times that the pad starts to come off. Terry gets thrown to the unpadded floor yet again and it’s back to Hoss. Tito comes in as well and Hoss fires off the famous Funk forearms. Speaking of forearms, the flying variety takes Hoss down and the Funks head to the floor again.

Hoss gets back in for a crisscross with Terry hitting Tito in the back with a knee to take over. Tito gets knocked to the floor and JYD has to chase Jimmy off a few times before throwing Santana back in. Terry gets two off a suplex and argues with the referee a bit before getting suplexed himself. They hit the ropes and collide but Terry falls into his own corner to bring in Hoss. The Funks hit a double clothesline which gets two for Terry who is getting frustrated.

Santana finally slides between Terry’s legs and makes the hot tag to JYD. We prove we’re in the 80s with a double noggin knocker to both of the Funks and a punch sends Hoss to the outside. Terry has a rope from somewhere as everything breaks down. JYD throws Terry to the floor and slams him on a table for good measure. Terry’s knee is hurt and he can’t stand up but he gets back inside anyway as Jimmy gets decked. Everything breaks down again and Tito puts Hoss in the Figure Four but Terry blasts Dog in the head with the megaphone for the pin.

Rating: B-. I’ve said before that the 1980s were the best era ever for tag wrestling and this show proves it again. Most of the show hasn’t been all that great but the tag matches have been by far the best matches on the card. This was a fun and WILD match but not to the point where you couldn’t keep track of what was going on. Good stuff here and after two boring matches in the LA section this was a good match to pick things up.

We set up the cage, which is the big blue kind for the first time ever.

Hogan is lifting weights with bad ribs and we recap Hogan vs. Bundy. On SNME, Hogan defended the title against Don Muraco and after the match, Bundy ran in and destroyed Hogan with a bunch of splashes to injure the ribs. The doctor says Hogan shouldn’t be doing this, so Hulk does chinups with a 100lb weight around his neck.

Heenan and Bundy say they’re going to take the title from Hogan.

Elvira sends it to New York for comments from Susan and Vince.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Escape only here, as it should be. Tommy Lasorda of the LA Dodgers is guest ring announcer. Ricky Schroder, a child actor, is guest timekeeper and Robert Conrad, an adult actor, is guest referee. Hogan starts firing off right hands to start and knocks Bundy into the cage before choking Bundy with his own singlet. The following clothesline in the corner has Bundy in even more trouble and a forearm to the head staggers him even more. All Hogan so far.

Both guys block shots into the cage but King goes to the ribs to stop Hogan cold. There’s a slam to mess with the ribs even more and Bundy goes for the door. You know it’s not ending that fast though so Bundy comes back to choke with the tape a bit. Another attempt to escape goes about as well and Hulk comes back with an elbow in the corner. Bundy gets rammed into the cage to bust him open and Hogan rakes his back a bit. More cage ramming occurs and Hulk climbs to the top to choke away on the ropes.

Hogan goes for the slam but Bundy falls down onto him as you would expect him to. Bundy goes to the door but Hulk grabs him for some choking with the rib tape. The Avalanche splash hits in the corner and a regular one hits as well so Hogan can shake like a fish. Hogan dives to stop Bundy from getting out but takes another Avalanche….with no effect whatsoever. The champion busts out a powerslam of all things and easily climbs out to retain.

Rating: D. It’s Hogan vs. a monster in 1986 so what in the world were you expecting to see here? At the end of the day this was the safe move but with all of the other heels on the roster, this is the best they could come up with? I mean, you have Savage, Piper or even Roberts to be in there, but you pick Bundy? It’s not like this was some huge feud as the SNME that set this up was five weeks before this show. I’ve heard that Vince was trying desperately to get Nikita Koloff to jump and be in the main event but when they fell through, they picked a monster instead. Eh when all else fails, go with the safe pick.

Hogan beats up Heenan to close the show.

Overall Rating: D. This is a tough one to grade for the same reason that I don’t consider it the worst Mania ever: it was the second one and they had NO idea what they were doing here. The main thing that helps this show is that while most of the matches are worthless, they’re FAST. Of all the non-tag matches, only the cage match and the boxing match break ten minutes and the cage match does so by about 15 seconds. It’s certainly not a good show and if this happened today Vince would be jumping off a building, but for its time this wasn’t completely terrible.

Ratings Comparison

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Original: D+

Redo: D

Randy Savage vs. George Steele

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Original: F

Redo: D+

Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper

Original: F

Redo: D

Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D-

Redo: N/A

Battle Royal

Original: B

Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Dream Team

Original: B-

Redo: B

Rick Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Original: N/A

Redo: D-

Terry Funk/Hoss Funk vs. Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: B-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dang those must have been the strong rose colored glasses back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/09/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-2-what-the-hell-were-they-thinking/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

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