Wrestlemania VI
Date: April 1, 1990
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 67,678
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
O Canada: Robert Goulet

We’ll look at one more Wrestlemania after this year’s season ends thanks to the WWE Vault. This is one of the most famous Wrestlemania main events of all time with The Ultimate Challenge as Hulk Hogan vs. the Ultimate Warrior, title for title. That’s about all you have on the show but…well what else do you need? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is one of the all time best, with Vince McMahon showing various constellations in space, eventually stopping on Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior, because this is ALL Wrestlemania was built around.

Robert Goulet sings O Canada.

Koko B. Ware vs. Rick Martel

The ring carts are back! Martel jumps him during the weapons check and hammers away but Ware is back with a middle rope crossbody. Some dropkicks have Martel in trouble and a backdrop makes it worse. Ware gets low bridged out to the floor and it’s a suplex for two back inside. The Boston crab is blocked (in the Coliseum Video, that was clipped to the finish, assuming you ignore Ware being nowhere near where he was for the submission when the hold was put on) and Ware fights up but the comeback is cut off as Ware misses a crossbody. Now the Boston crab can finish Ware off at 5:30.

Rating: C. Not much to see here but a Canadian heel gets to win so the fans won’t be overly annoyed. It’s still strange to see a cold match on Wrestlemania but there’s nothing wrong with what we got here. Ware is a perfectly serviceable star and Martel is still criminally underrated, so it’s not like this was going to be bad. Uneventful maybe, but not bad.

Gene Okerlund is with the Colossal Connection (Haku/Andre The Giant) but calls them the Colostomy Connection. This leads to a series of puns but the gist is they’ll beat Demolition.

Demolition is ready to chop down the Colossal Connection. Threats of shouting TIMBER are issued, while Smash would rather put the champs in the back of a truck and throw them off a cliff. Dude it’s a wrestling match. Stop threatening to murder them.

Tag Team Titles: Colossal Connection vs. Demolition

The Connection, with Bobby Heenan, is defending and don’t get an entrance. It’s almost like that’s just not a big deal and is a nice way to shave off a bit of time. The champs jumps them before the start and it’s Haku officially starting with Smash. They slug it out with Smash taking over and grabbing an early neck crank. Ax comes in for some shots of his own before it’s back to Smash for a battle over a backslide.

With that going nowhere, it’s back to Ax, who gets hit in the throat and caught in a backbreaker for two. Some chops have Ax in more trouble, to the point where he staggers over to Andre, who decks him as well. Haku strikes him down again and then sends him into Andre’s head, which is quite the smart move. Another comeback is cut off with a poke to the eyes and we go to a wide shot of the stadium and dang it looks awesome.

The nerve hold goes on to keep Ax in trouble but he fights up, only to get choked down by Andre again. Ax manages to fight up and gets in a knockdown, which is FINALLY enough for the tag off to Smash. Everything breaks down and Andre gets double teamed into the corner. Haku superkicks Andre by mistake though and he gets tied up in the ropes. A double clothesline and the Demolition Decapitator gives us new champions at 9:10. Andre never tagged in.

Rating: C+. This was a glorified handicap match, with Haku literally wrestling the entire match with Andre only coming in at the beginning and end. It was clear that Andre was at the end of his run but there was still something to be said about having a giant like that standing around. Demolition getting the titles back got a heck of a reaction too, as it was quite the moment.

Post match Andre is still staggered but Heenan LOSES HIS EVER LOVING MIND by yelling at Andre and slapping him in the face. Andre punches Heenan in the face, beats up Haku for daring to defending Heenan and then knocks both of them out of the ring cart (I’ve always loved that), allowing him to ride away to one final hero’s sendoff.

Jimmy Hart thinks there is going to be an earthquake in Toronto. I mean, there already is one next to him but I get the idea.

Hercules vs. Earthquake

Jimmy Hart is here with Earthquake. Hercules hammers away but can only knock Earthquake into the corner. A test of strength has Hercules down on his knees and Earthquake drops him again. Back up and some running shoulders and clotheslines stagger Earthquake but ever the moron, Hercules tries a torture rack. The ensuing collapse sets up an elbow into the Earthquake to finish Hercules at 4:56.

Rating: C. This was about all you could have expected from this match and it went completely ok. At the end of the day, there is only so much Hercules can do with a monster, especially with Hulk Hogan being up next for Earthquake. You don’t want to see Hercules throw him around and Earthquake looks all the more dominant. The key thing here was to keep it short, and it worked better as a result. Hercules would turn heel and form Power & Glory pretty soon.

Rona Barrett (celebrity interviewer) talks to Miss Elizabeth, who says she’ll be back around more frequently in the near future. Not really, no.

Brutus Beefcake looks at Mr. Perfect’s record and is impressed, but he’s ready to trim it down.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

The Genius is here with Perfect. They slug it out in the corner to start with Beefcake knocking him out to the floor. Perfect needs a breather before coming back in to hammer away and take over. Beefcake sends him into the corner and comes back with a slam, followed by another whip into the corner. Naturally Perfect does a big bump, because that’s just what he does. With nothing else working, Genius slips Perfect the scroll for a cheap shot to take over. The Hennig necksnap gets two and Perfect slaps him a few times but Beefcake catapults him into the post for the pin out of absolutely nowhere at 7:48.

Rating: C+. This was a good match for Beefcake, who gets the big feather in his cap by giving Perfect his first loss. Beefcake really was crazy over at this point and was getting better in the ring. Then his face was destroyed in a few months and he just never recovered, which is a shame when you can see what he was doing here.

Post match Beefcake goes after the Genius (Perfect doesn’t seem to notice and leaves), setting up the sleeper and a haircut. The thing is Genius apparently wasn’t told this was going to happen (as apparently Pat Patterson only told Beefcake about the idea) so his flailing around and trying to get away was legitimate. It almost led to a fight backstage between Beefcake and Randy Savage before things calmed down.

We recap Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown. They eliminated each other from the Royal Rumble and had a big fight to the back. Then Brown called it a skirt and of course it meant war.

Now we get to the reason why this match isn’t on Peacock, as Piper, in half Black face, calls himself Hot Rod and Hot Scot (complete with a bit of Billie Jean). Piper mocks Brown’s eyes, ears and nose (with the long hairs sticking out) before moving on to the biggest problem, which is Brown’s mouth. Piper is ready to shut it for Brown, but will it be Hot Rod or Hot Scot who does it? I have no idea how this was seen as a good idea but it’s as terrible as it sounds.

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

Brown doesn’t seem to understand what is up with the dual skin color thing and I’m not quite getting it either. They slug it out to start and the referee breaks it up, allowing Piper to hit a crossbody. Piper hammers away in the corner but gets staggered by a big headbutt. Some right hands put Piper down and we hit the nerve hold.

An elbow gives Brown two, with commentary getting on him about the lackadaisical cover. The turnbuckle pad is taken off but Piper sends him into it instead. It’s time to load up a glove and Piper knocks him down a few times, with the referee being fine with the whole thing. Brown bails to the floor and pulls Piper with him and it’s a double countout at 6:50.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t exactly good, but it’s remembered for reasons of WHAT WAS PIPER THINKING. I have no idea how this was approved and while I know things were a bit different back in 1990, it was just such a terrible idea. It doesn’t help that they didn’t have time to do anything, with the match wrapping up when it was just getting going. I mean, assuming the glove deal was something getting going.

The brawl continues and referees break it up as they go to the back.

Steve Allen (former Tonight Show host) is in a bathroom with a piano, where he can’t quite manage to play the Soviet national anthem. This is what we get for celebrities these days. And now did they get that piano in there?

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

The Bolsheviks do their singing and get jumped by the Harts to start fast. Volkoff is knocked to the floor and the Hart Attack finishes Zhukov at 19 seconds. Hart counting to three at the camera was a great touch. And now it’s time for the Harts to go after the Tag Team Titles.

Wrestlemania VII is coming to the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Well maybe if they can get tickets to a game on their way to the Sports Arena.

Tito Santana is ready for the Barbarian.

Tito Santana vs. The Barbarian

Bobby Heenan is here with Barbarian, who Santana can’t drop to start. Barbarian runs him over instead and tries a powerbomb, only for Santana to punch his way out. Barbarian’s middle rope elbow misses though and Santana comes back with the flying forearm. Heenan puts the foot on the ropes like a good manager should, allowing Barbarian to get in a throat snap across the top. The top rope clothesline absolutely destroys Santana (in an awesome sell) for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: C+. Santana was trying here and Barbarian was perfectly capable of having this kind of a match. Barbarian got in his power stuff and looked impressive, but that clothesline is all people remember from the match. That’s for good reason too, as Santana sold the thing like death.

We recap Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Queen Sherri. It’s basically the men were feuding and the women got involved. Simple and to the point here.

Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire are ready to prove that they are better than royalty and promise the Crown Jewel. Great. Now we’re going to Saudi Arabia.

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Queen Sherri

Ventura has a big problem believing that Rhodes and Sapphire combine to weigh 465lbs, as Sapphire is at least 250. Rhodes and Sapphire do indeed have the Crown Jewel in the form of Miss Elizabeth, who comes to the ring as Savage loses his mind. The men start things off as commentary explains the rules, as this is a first time ever match in the WWF.

Sherri tries a cheap shot on Rhodes and gets pulled into the corner by Sapphire, leaving Ventura panicking over a camera shot from behind Sapphire. Rhodes pulls a diving Savage out of the air and it’s off to the women. Sapphire sends the villains into each other and airplane spins Sherri. Savage comes back in and gets his arms tied up, allowing Sapphire to get in a slap.

Back up and Savage sends him outside for a top rope ax handle, setting up Sherri for a knee to the gut. Sapphire comes over and gets thrown down, with Ventura being far too pleased. Back in and Savage hits a suplex, allowing Sherri to hit a top rope splash for two, already going against the rules of the match. Rhodes comes back in and elbows away at Savage before Sapphire comes back in to suplex Sherri. Elizabeth throws her back in and even gets in a shot to Sherri. Sapphire gets a rollup for the pin at 7:38.

Rating: C. They were very smart to keep Sapphire out of the ring save for a few fun spots and that’s the right way to go. At the end of the day, she wasn’t much of a wrestler but she wasn’t being presented as one so it’s not some big stretch. The match might not have been good, but it was certainly fun and that’s all you need at times.

Post match Savage tries a scepter shot but Rhodes takes it away. Savage manages to get his crown on as he runs off because he’s awesome that way. Dancing ensues.

Gene Okerlund asks Bobby Heenan where he has the “ba….the nerve” to hit Andre in the face. Heenan makes various threats and actually loses his train of thought, leaving him with a blank stare. Gene brings him back to reality and Heenan goes on a rant about starting a new Family (true actually). Ignore Heenan being all sweaty and disheveled due to the Andre thing, but looking perfectly fine for the Barbarian match in between them.

Rona Barrett suggests that Jesse Ventura has done an adult movie. Gorilla Monsoon is WAY too interested in this.

Randy Savage rants about mind games.

Demolition, who haven’t had a shower despite winning the titles an hour ago, are happy with their title win and they’re ready for the Hart Foundation.

Hulk Hogan says the power lies in his hand. Then when he gets Ultimate Warrior on his knees, he’ll ask if Warrior wants to live forever. The Hulkamaniacs can save him and bring him from the darkness into the light. Hogan says it doesn’t matter whether he wins or loses (there’s your red flag) because it’s about being a good winner or loser. Hopefully Warrior is a good loser.

Ultimate Warrior throws Sean Mooney out, saying he doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as Warrior and Hogan. Warrior then goes on some rant about how no one can live forever but he wants to merge the Little Warriors and the Hulkamaniacs. Then he wants to bring Hogan to a new place where he has never been before. Dubuque, Iowa?

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Mr. Fuji is here with the Express. Jannetty knocks Tanaka down to start but Tanaka hits a superkick (close enough). The Rockers clear the ring and hit stereo dives (a big spot for 1990), with Fuji not being pleased in the slightest. Back in and the Express stomps away in the corner before Tanaka gives Michaels a gutbuster.

A spinning forearm cuts Michaels off again before Sato grabs a quickly broken nerve hold. Michaels fights up and brings in Jannetty as everything breaks down. Fuji offers a distraction though and Sato gets in some salt to Jannetty’s eyes. Jannetty even stumbles over the barricade (sounds like a normal night for Marty) and it’s a countout at 7:43.

Rating: C+. This is a match that should have been awesome but it was just mostly ok. Allegedly the Rockers were VERY hung over for the match and that’s probably the reason for a lot of the issues. That being said, it’s still a good match and they would have a much better match the following year at the Royal Rumble (subbing in Kato for Saito helped).

Steve Allen introduces Rhythm & Blues. Allen: “They have been called one of the greatest bands to come along in quite a long time. Unfortunately they are not here tonight so here are Rhythm & Blues.” Allen suggests that the Honky Tonk Man is similar to Elvis. As in Costello. More jokes ensue, including Valentine saying they’re going to the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame. Allen: “I’ll call them and warn them you’re coming.” Yeah it’s corny but Allen is funny enough.

Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo

Duggan is waving the American flag (which is wrapped up to the point where you can’t see the stars at first) and Ventura points out how dumb that might be in Canada. Bravo has Earthquake and Jimmy Hart with him so this isn’t likely to go well. Duggan slugs away to start and Bravo is knocked outside.

Back in and Duggan hits an atomic drop before slugging away in the corner. Bravo fights back and drops a big elbow before sending Duggan face first into the buckle. Since there’s nothing there to hurt, it fires Duggan up but Bravo kicks him down again. Duggan fights up and makes the comeback so Earthquake offers a distraction. The 2×4 shot to the back gives Duggan the pin at 4:38.

Rating: C-. Good example of “what else were you expecting”, even with Earthquake out there for the likely post match beatdown. Duggan is such a goofy fun star and that was always his thing. It was certainly on display here and the match wasn’t any good, but it’s almost impossible to boo Duggan. Even with his flag issues aside of course.

Post match Earthquake drops Duggan and gives him two Earthquakes.

We recap Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase, which is a long running feud over Roberts stealing DiBiase’s money and the belt. Now the belt is on the line.

Roberts talks about how there are people who could use DiBiase’s money but he mocks and humiliates them. Now it’s time for DiBiase to be mocked and humiliated, a victim of his own greed.

Million Dollar Title: Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase is defending and has Virgil with him. They slug it out to start and Roberts tries an early DDT, sending DiBiase bailing out to the floor. They both miss elbows and DiBiase has to run from another pair of DDT attempts. Back in and Roberts works on a hammerlock, even managing to send DiBiase bailing out to the floor. DiBiase slowly gets back in and walks into a knee, only to avoid a running knee in the corner to leave Roberts down for a change.

The front facelock goes on as the fans do the Wave before they go outside, with Roberts getting posted. A piledriver gets a VERY delayed two, with even Ventura getting on DiBiase for taking so much time. The Million Dollar Dream goes on and Roberts finally falls into the ropes for the break.

DiBiase goes up but gets punched out of the air, allowing Roberts to start the comeback. Virgil offers a distraction though and Roberts goes outside to take care of him. The Million Dollar Dream goes on again outside, with Roberts sending him into the post. Virgil earns his pay though by sending DiBiase back inside to beat the count out 11:49.

Rating: C. For some reason, these two just could not have a good match if they tried. They’re a pair that should have made for solid matches up and down the circuit and it just never happened. That was the case again here, with the countout making things even worse than usual.

Post match DiBiase gets some money out so Roberts beats him up. Virgil bails with the belt but Roberts plants DiBiase with the DDT. Roberts gives away the money, including $100 to Mary Tyler Moore. Damien is loaded up but Virgil runs back in for a distraction and escapes.

Slick and Akeem (who can’t stop dancing) are ready for some revenge on the Big Boss Man.

The freshly turned Big Boss Man talks about how he isn’t going to take money from Ted DiBiase. He may be poor, but he’s proud.

Akeem vs. Big Boss Man

Boss Man’s sneer as he rides the ring cart to the ring is borderline terrifying. Hold on though as Ted DiBiase is still at ringside and jumps the Boss Man on the floor. So the match officially begins with Akeem hitting a splash, with Gorilla and Ventura arguing over interference. Apparently this is TOTALLY DIFFERENT than Elizabeth interfering earlier. Akeem hammers away in the corner but Boss Man knocks him out of the corner and makes the comeback. Some whips into the corner have Akeem in trouble and a clothesline puts him down. Boss Man hammers away and hits the Boss Man Slam for the pin at 1:51.

Sean Mooney talks to various fans about Rhythm & Blues sing. One fan: “I DON’T CARE!” He also talks to Mary Tyler Moore, who clearly has no idea what is going on and doesn’t care. Mooney: “She’ll always be Mary Richards to me.”

We get a rare production gaffe as the bell rings before Rhythm & Blues come to the ring to play their new song live. They come out in a pink Cadillac, complete with a totally unknown Diamond Dallas Page driving (it was his car). Monsoon dubs the girls in the car the Honkettes and Jesse LOSES IT for some reason. Anyway, they do indeed play Hunka Hunka Hunka Honky Love…until the Bushwhackers come out and wreck everything. Honky Tonk Man felt so useless after losing the Intercontinental Title (which was kind of the point) but Valentine trying so hard with this completely out of nowhere gimmick change is still amusing.

The official attendance: 67,678. Not bad.

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Bobby Heenan is here with Rude and Steve Allen is on commentary. Rude jumps him from behind and starts the big forearms to the back, only to miss a dropkick (not his most common move). Snuka gets in a few shots to the ribs and mocks Rude, only for Rude to slug him right back down. A poke to the eye cuts Snuka off again but he comes back with a flying headbutt. Snuka’s middle rope headbutt misses though and the Rude Awakening is good for the pin at 3:49.

Rating: C. Yeah this is something that probably should have been cut due to time, but this was important enough for the future. Rude’s hair was slicked back here to get rid of his goofy looking style and he won clean in the end. It wasn’t a memorable match in any way, but what mattered here was Rude feeling like a more serious star and they made it work well enough.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. the Ultimate Warrior. They went face to face in the Royal Rumble and it was the most amazing thing ever, as it was hard to imagine the match actually happening. The match was set up, Hogan saved Warrior from Earthquake, Warrior saved Hogan from Earthquake, and they had a mini feud with Mr. Perfect and the Genius. None of that stuff mattered though, because Hogan vs. Warrior was going to happen.

WWF Title/Intercontinental Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior

Title for title so they’re both defending. Warrior gets to run to the ring and that’s not likely to go well. Hogan walks (being the only two to not use the ring carts) and that imagine of Warrior doing his pose on the buckle is one of the first wrestling imagines I can ever remember. You don’t get to say this and actually mean it very often, but this is the definition of a split crowd. Both of them are cheered and the fans are giving no sign that one is more popular than the other. They take their belts off and do the staredown and my goodness you can feel the intensity.

They shove each other and pose before going to the test of strength with even Jesse saying this is totally even. Warrior gets him down to his knees and that is a game changer (Ventura: “WHO WOULD HAVE EVER THOUGHT!”) as the idea of a good guy being able to do that to Hogan was unthinkable. Hogan powers up to set the universe right and Warrior goes down for one of your famous shots from the match. Warrior starts to get up so Hogan trips him down and drops a leg for two.

They do the criss cross until Hogan hits a slam, with Warrior popping back up to scare Hogan to death. Back up and Warrior hits his own slam, with a bit more effect. A clothesline puts Hogan on the floor and he comes up holding up his knee. Warrior is smart to kick at the knee but Hogan tells the referee he’s getting back in, where Hogan suddenly forgets about the knee (it’s never brought up again) to make the quick comeback.

Hogan drops some elbows and we hit the front facelock as Warrior is blown up and needs a breather. A small package sets up a chinlock before Hogan hits a clothesline for two. The chinlock goes on again as they are barely able to hide that Warrior is in trouble. Some knees to the back (Monsoon: “Cervical vertebrae!” Ventura: “No Monsoon, IT’S THE BACK!”) set up another chinlock as we’re firmly in the middle of the match, though the crowd is still right there with them.

Back up and they hit a double clothesline, with Ventura accurately saying that Hogan should be in control still because he had done so much more damage. Warrior starts to shake the ropes for the comeback as he now has some more oxygen, meaning it’s time to whip Hogan into various corners. A bearhug has Hogan in trouble and we get two arm drops. Hogan punches his way to freedom and Warrior accidentally runs the referee over.

Back to back top rope ax handles stagger Hogan but he avoids the flying should to spike Warrior into the mat. That’s good for no count so Hogan gets up, with Warrior belly to back suplexing him to even the match at a visual pinfall apiece. The referee gets back up (if this had been modern wrestling, there would have been a ridiculous heel turn or interference and it would have been awful) to count some very delayed twos.

Warrior gets sent outside and Hogan gets sent into the post. The gorilla press into the Warrior Splash gets two as it’s time to Hulk Up. The comeback is on and the big boot connects but the legdrop misses (GASP!). Warrior hits another quick splash for the pin and the title at 22:45, with Hogan kicking out at 3.01, because Warrior was just a hair better, but that’s all he needed to be.

Rating: A. This very well may be the greatest example of a match being elevated by the crowd. The match itself is good and a back and forth match which told a story, but the crowd turned it from a match to an event. Just watching these two go face to face felt special and it came off like the dawning of a new era. That era didn’t go so well, but the start of it was incredible. It’s not an all time classic wrestling match, but it’s professional wrestling at an incredibly high level and that is more than noteworthy.

Post match the referee gives Warrior the titles but we go tight on the Warrior so the referee can hand the WWF Title back to the Fink. That lets Hogan pick up the title and hand it over for the big hero moment. Hogan gets to leave and salutes Warrior as the pyro goes off and posing ensues. Even Ventura praises Hogan for the big sendoff in a moment you don’t often see.

Overall Rating: B. This show is really kind of astounding as it’s fondly remembered, but there is NOTHING on here but the main event. You have a few nice moments, but so many of the matches are completely forgettable if not downright skippable. They banked everything on Hogan vs. Warrior and luckily those two hit it so far out of the park that the ball wound up back in America. It’s a one match show, but my goodness what a match that is.

Results
Rick Martel b. Koko B. Ware – Boston crab
Demolition b. Colossal Connection – Demolition Decapitator to Haku
Earthquake b. Hercules – Earthquake
Brutus Beefcake b. Mr. Perfect – Slingshot into the post
Hart Foundation b. Bolsheviks – Hart Attack to Zhukov
The Barbarian b. Tito Santana – Top rope clothesline
Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire b. Randy Savage/Queen Sherri – Rollup to Sherri
Orient Express b. Rockers via countout
Ted DiBiase b. Jake Roberts via countout
Ultimate Warrior b. Hulk Hogan – Warrior Splash

Ratings Comparison

Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

Demolition vs. Colossal Connection

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Earthquake vs. Hercules

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C+

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

Original: A
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Barbarian vs. Tito Santana

Original: D
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C+

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Sensational Sherri

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Original: C
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2025 Redo: C-

Ted DiBiase vs. Jake Roberts

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C

Big Boss Man vs. Akeem

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2025 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: B

Geez it’s better than those previous reviews would have you believe. It’s not even a bad show and the main event is more than good enough to carry it.

 

 

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Saturday Night’s Main Event #28
Date: October 13, 1990
Location: Toledo Sports Arena, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

It’s time for Oktoberfest because…well you don’t need an excuse for Oktoberfest. That makes it a theme show and therefore we could be in for some rather terrible jokes. Those will be on top of what could be some less than great action, as this isn’t the most thrilling time in the company’s history. Let’s get to it.

We open at Oktoberfest with wrestlers running around and thankfully we have all kinds of lederhosen.

Vince and Piper welcome us tot he show in front of some green screen and run down the card.

Opening sequence and dang that song still rocks.

Demolition is ready to demolish the Ultimate Warrior and the Legion of Doom. The team just did not feel special with Crush involved, even if he was kind of perfect for the spot.

The Legion Of Doom is ready to party at Oktoberfest and ask what Demolition is going to do about losing the Tag Team Titles. Cry in their beer? Sob in their schnitzel? The Ultimate Warrior comes in to shout about blitzkrieg. I would have put him as more of a Konnan guy.

Ultimate Warrior/Legion Of Doom vs. Demolition

The good guys clear the ring in a hurry but we settle down to Crush clotheslining Animal. A powerslam plants Smash for two and it’s off to Warrior to run Ax over. The Warrior Splash misses though and Crush gets in some cheap shots on the floor to really take over. The beating is on but Hawk breaks up the Demolition Decapitator. Hawk comes in for the top rope clotheslines as everything breaks down. It’s back to Warrior for the running clotheslines and the splash to finish Smash at 5:37.

Rating: C. As tends to be the case with Saturday Night’s Main Event, this was more of a “send the fans home happy in a hurry” match, with the good guys getting in some trouble before coming back for the win. Warrior was clearly floundering as champion as the best they had for him was just a six man tag here. He has nothing to do and that played a big role in why his reign as champion went so poorly. At the same time, it’s still a shame that we never got a big LOD vs. Demolition match, as this would have been the perfect place.

We go to Oktoberfest and where Gene Okerlund introduces us to some of the wrestlers, all of whom are in some rather amazing costumes. Alfred Hayes is drinking and complaining about the beer not being as good as the English version.

Randy Savage vs. Dusty Rhodes

Savage has Queen Sherri with him so Piper compares him to over kings, including his dog. Dusty is fresh off losing Sapphire to Ted DiBiase but he does have his son Dustin in the front row. Savage gets distracted by an Ultimate Warrior poster and gets whipped hard into the corner. A slow motion backslide gives Dusty two so Sherri offers a distraction, allowing Savage to hit a knee to the back. The chinlock goes on so Sherri slaps the mat, which feels a bit backwards.

Cue Ted DiBiase and Virgil to buy the front row seats so they can sit there alone. Only Dustin won’t take the money so DiBiase and Virgil sit next to him, making quite the visual. Dusty fights up but DiBiase pulls Dustin back down, which has Dusty going outside after him. We take a break and come back with Savage choking away before getting two off a cheap shot. The over the top rope neck snap lets Savage go up for the ax handle to the head and another near fall.

Dusty fights up and sends him into the buckle before knocking Savage off the top. A headbutt of all things puts Savage down as DiBiase talks trash to Dustin. The villains finally beat Dustin up on the floor, which is basically assaulting a fan but security is nowhere to be seen. Savage is tied in the ropes and Dusty finally sees what is going on, only for Savage to ax handle Dusty into the barricade for the countout at 8:18.

Rating: C-. There was only so much that Savage could do here and that was part of the problem with Dusty’s time in the company. He could do the talking and the segments, but at some point you can only get so far with what he can do in the ring. Then DiBiase and Savage kept beating him so there was only so much of a chance anyway.

Post match Dusty tries to cover Dustin from the beating so DiBiase and Virgil beat on Dusty instead.

Hulk Hogan and Tugboat are ready to make Rhythm and Blues play the flugelhorn and the glockenspiel in an Oompah band (1990 was WEIRD) so they can get to Earthquake and Dino Bravo. Somehow this turns into a D Day story with Hogan promising to give Rhythm and Blues a “Barbarian Creaming”. For some reason Hogan and Tugboat talked way more about Earthquake and Bravo than the team they’re facing tonight. This was strange even by Hogan standards.

The Bushwhackers practice cutting cheese. This is a Vince McMahon segment if I have ever seen one.

Alfred Hayes is starting to like the British beer and tells stories about being on the Danube.

Hulk Hogan/Tugboat vs. Rhythm and Blues

Hogan wastes no time in cleaning house and drops some elbows. Honky Tonk Man is sent into Tugboat’s boot in the corner before Tugboat comes in to crank on Valentine’s arm. Hogan goes aerial for a middle rope ax handle to Valentine’s arm but an elbow to the head staggers Tugboat. The bearhug slows Honky Tonk Man down but Valentine makes the save so the villains can take over.

Valentine’s elbow to the head gets two and Honky Tonk Man adds some weak knees to the back. Tugboat shrugs off the lame offense and brings in Hogan to clean house. A clothesline and right hands have Valentine in more trouble and the big boot sets up…nothing as Earthquake and Dino Bravo come out for a distraction. We take a break and come back with Tugboat coming in for a headbutt. Jimmy Hart offers a distraction though and Honky Tonk Man hits Tugboat in the back with the guitar for the DQ at 7:23.

Rating: D+. Oh come on. Honky Tonk Man or Greg Valentine can’t lay down for the legdrop? I get not wanting to lose to Tugboat but give me a break. This was a perfect choice for a match where Hogan can get a win but instead it’s this lame DQ, which does nothing but feel like a waste of time

Post match the villains beat Hogan down and Earthquake hits an assisted splash. Earthquake loads up the Earthquake but Tugboat makes the save with the guitar. Vince: “What would they have done to Hulk Hogan?” What the heck do you think they were going to do?

Back to the festival for the sausage stuffing contest (oh dear) with Honorary Sausage Stuffer Hall Of Fame inductee, the Genius. It’s Jim Duggan/the Hart Foundation vs. Mr. Fuji/the Orient Express. Fuji is accused of cheating (with a pre-made sausage) so we go to Alfred Hayes for a ruling but he’s drunk and telling stories. Again, this was a Vince McMahon segment if there has ever been one.

Intercontinental Title: Haku vs. Texas Tornado

The Tornado is defending, having beaten Mr. Perfect at Summerslam, leaving Haku to try to bring the title back to the Heenan Family. An early attempt at the Claw sends Haku bailing to the floor for some advice from Heenan. Back in and Haku grabs a chinlock to slow things down but Tornado slugs away. Haku knocks him into the corner and hits a headbutt but the Claw goes on to cut things off. The Tornado Punch retains the title at 3:10.

Rating: C. It’s easy to see why Tornado got chance after chance as he looked great and the fans were into him but the backstage issues were just too much to overcome. There was only so much that can be done when he has that many problems and they caught up to him in a hurry. This was the quick title defense for Tornado and that’s why you bring in Haku.

Hulk Hogan and Tugboat use a bunch of sailing terms as I try to figure out what in the world the appeal of Tugboat was really supposed to be. I remember liking him as a kid, but egads he does not hold up whatsoever.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Koko B. Ware

Slaughter has General Adnan and is ready to start the biggest push of his career. They start slowly until Ware snaps off some armdrags and dances, which is just not going to work for an American hero. Ware misses a charge into the corner though and the pace slows way down. An elbow drop gives Slaughter two but he misses a shot, allowing Ware to hammer away. That’s broken up and the Atomic Noogie (thankfully not officially called that) finishes Ware at 5:09.

Rating: C. They were late in the show at this point and there was no reason to think that this would be anything more than Slaughter slaughtering Ware. Slaughter was going to be the big heel and while that isn’t exactly the best fit, there wasn’t anyone else to get the spot. He’s fine, but tying into a real world story is quite the questionable move.

Post match the Iraqi flag is waved but Nikolai Volkoff pops up to wave the American flag.

Back to the festival for a dance off between Jim Neidhart and Slick (who is far better). Then a food fight breaks out. Didn’t we all know that was coming?

Ultimate Warrior says Queen Sherri is no challenge and she has only enraged the legion of warriors. He accepts the challenge from Randy Savage and the title match is on.

Sherri and Savage promise to win “that belt”.

Vince and Piper wrap it up.

We go back to the festival where Alfred Hayes yells at Gene for not calling him, as his earpiece was taken out while he was drinking. Hayes berates him so Gene hits him with a cake.

Piper wants to go to the food fight, which is still ongoing.

Overall Rating: C-. This one is going to depend on your nostalgia taste, as the wrestling is pretty terrible, but the Oktoberfest stuff is so goofy that it’s hard to not at least chuckle. Yes some of the jokes are horrible, but that’s kind of the point of the whole thing. The company was in a bad place at this point and it’s not a good show, though it was fun in a very (very) goofy kind of way.

 

 

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Supertape II
Host: Sean Mooney
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon, Hillbilly Jim

It’s another Coliseum Video and another that I’ve seen more than a few times. This is from around 1990 and is the usual collection of house show matches and special features. In other words, it’s something that I can go for on any given day and there is a good chance that this will be fun. Let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney is in the studio and welcomes us to the tape, featuring a rundown of what is coming. On top of that we get a kind of spooky vice saying SUPERTAPE, which appears to be our theme for the tape. Uh, right.

From Chattanooga, Tennessee, January 3, 1990.

Jim Duggan vs. Randy Savage

Sherri is here with Savage and this is from Saturday Night’s Main Event, albeit with different commentary. Duggan isn’t having any of this waiting around and jumps him to start, with Savage taking quite the fall on the floor. Savage gets knocked down but comes back with a clothesline, as Duggan just stands there so Savage can hit him (that wasn’t good). They go outside with Savage knocking him around but the camera stays on Sherri and…..eh fair enough.

Back in and Savage misses a charge but Duggan misses an elbow to even it back up. Duggan knocks him to the floor, only to stop and glare at Sherri, allowing Savage a rather long breather. Back in and Duggan drops a knee for…well nothing as Sherri distracts the referee again.

Duggan knocks him outside again (ok we get it) but Sherri gets in a rake to the back and we’re clipped (as there was a commercial on the original broadcast) to Duggan knocking Savage out of the air. Sherri slips in the loaded purse though and Savage knocks him silly (well sillier) for two. The three point clothesline sends Savage to the floor so Duggan suplexes him back inside, only for Sherri to trip Duggan down. Savage puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 8:42.

Rating: B-. These two were having a good match as Duggan knew how to turn his incredibly basic offense into an entertaining spectacle. Sherri was a good foil on the floor as well and of course Savage can work well with anyone. It wasn’t like Duggan was ever going to be the top star, but dang the fans got behind him when they were given the chance.

Post match Duggan hits Savage with the board to blow off some steam.

We get a profile on the Rockers, starting with a promo from the two talking about the teams they have fought in their two years in the WWF. They’ll take on anyone and they play as hard as they work.

From New York City, New York, January 15, 1990.

Rockers vs. Powers Of Pain

Mr. Fuji is here with the Powers Of Pain. Barbarian shoves Shawn across the ring to start in quite the nice power display. For some reason Shawn’s high five to Marty doesn’t count as a tag so Barbarian gets to shove Shawn around a few more times. A shoulder puts Shawn down again but Marty comes in for the save to take over. Shawn comes in off the top to get in a shot on the arm, followed by a double superkick.

A double clothesline drops Warlord and we get some Rockers posing as the villains take a breather. Back in and Warlord slowly hammers away, only for Marty to dropkick him into a hurricanrana. Warlord hammers Marty back down and a heck of a powerbomb drops him again. A rather high backdrop gives Warlord two and it’s off to Barbarian for a jumping headbutt to the back. Fuji even gets in a cheap shot from the floor, with the distraction having Shawn teasing a punch to the referee.

We hit the bearhug (you knew that was coming) but Marty fights out and hits a middle rope shot to the face. Barbarian is back with a powerslam to plant Marty, only to miss the middle rope elbow. The tag brings in Shawn to clean house, including an assisted sunset flip for two on Warlord. Everything breaks down and Barbarian it set into Marty, leaving Fuji to cane Shawn. Barbarian drops the elbow for the pin at 9:58.

Rating: C+. This was a power vs. speed match and that is always going to work, but at the same time, it was a weird choice for the Power Of Pain to win in a profile about the Rockers. That’s not exactly a great way to go, but the Rockers did get to do some of their usual fast paced stuff. Maybe just do that with a match where they actually win?

Post match Shawn dropkicks Fuji and gets laid out. Marty gets taken out s well, with something like a top rope Hart Attack. Shawn finally gets a chair for the save.

The Rockers introduce another match because they’re tag team specialists.

From Rochester, New York, June 28, 1989.

Rockers vs. Greg Valentine/Dino Bravo

Jimmy Hart is here with the villains. Marty and Bravo start things off with Bravo grinding away on a headlock. Shawn comes in off a blind tag to dropkick Bravo into Marty’s slam though, setting up Marty’s dropkick which doesn’t seem to come close. That means a breather on the floor before valentine comes back in to hammer (naturally) on Michaels. That’s broken up and Marty comes in to take over on Bravo.

A monkey flip has Bravo in trouble but he knocks Marty down, allowing Valentine to hit a double stomp. Marty gets a double elbow to the face but manages to kick the Figure Four attempt off. Valentine isn’t having the comeback though and knocks him down, setting up an elbow for two more. Marty finally fights his way out and brings Shawn in to quite the reaction as the comeback is on.

A suplex gets two on Valentine and Hart gets knocked off the apron. The double dropkick hits Bravo and the double top rope fist drop gets two as Valentine makes the save. Shawn and Bravo collide for a double down and Valentine puts Bravo on top for two. Marty comes back in and gets an O’Connor Roll but Valentine hits a clothesline so Bravo can get the pin at 11:40.

Rating: B-. This picked up near the end and that was nice to see but it did go a good while, especially with a thrown together team like Bravo and Valentine. That being said, again, you might want to give the Rockers a win rather than finding new ways for them to lose. It’s not like the Rockers were some terrible team who never won anything so there should be a lot to choose from for the profile.

Post match Ronnie Garvin, a referee feuding with Valentine, comes down to say Valentine cheated and the decision is reversed. Call it a big win I guess?

A fan wants to see Hercules vs. Akeem. Since she doesn’t like Akeem’s dancing, Akeem won’t talk to her, but Hercules is happy to have her support.

From Portland, Maine, August 30, 1989.

Hercules vs. Akeem

Slick is here with Akeem, who bails as Hercules swings his chain. Akeem dances around and knocks Hercules into the corner, only for Hercules to rain down some right hands. Hercules knocks him out to the floor and we’re already hitting the stall button. Slick gets knocked down and Akeem has to hold him back, which has Hayes almost losing it on commentary.

Back in and they tease a boxing match, with Akeem’s gyrating not really working. Some left hands and a wind up right hand stagger Akeem but a slam isn’t going to happen. Hercules hammers away again and we go to some weird camera shot with the corners cut off. A running knee and a clothesline both put Akeem down…but Slick low bridges Hercules for the DQ at 5:00.

Rating: D+. This was a case where they did what they could and that was only going to get them so far. Ultimately, there isn’t much that Hercules can do with Akeem because Akeem is just that big. That leaves you with Hercules punching him for about three minutes and then getting a knockdown but since they can’t do anything else, they have the lame finish. It’s not a good match, but they did about as much as they could, including that awesome Akeem dancing.

Post match Akeem goes for the splash but Hercules rolls away and hits the big slam. Now why couldn’t they just do that for a finish?

We get a Call Of The Action segment, meaning Alfred Hayes watches clips of an Orient Express squash and names some moves. As in things like “forearm” and “leapfrog”, or if you want to get really technical, a “knuckle blow” or “jump karate kick”. And yes, he does go over the names twice in case you missed them. Ignore Hayes switching from “jump karate kick” to “karate jump kick” in a segment about getting the names of moves right and talking about THE SAME MOVES.

The Orient Express, with Mr. Fuji, are ready to hurt Demolition. Especially Ax for some reason.

From New York City, New York, March 19, 1990.

Demolition vs. Orient Express

Gorilla talks about how Demolition is in line for a possible three peat as Tag Team Champions, which he has never seen before. Not only has he seen it, but he saw it with Mr. Fuji, who is here with the Express. Smash wastes no time in punching Tanaka down and it’s off to Ax to crank on the neck.

Sato comes in and gets whipped into the corner as Gorilla talks about Fuji being a two or three time Tag Team Champion (it was five), including with Professor Tanaka, with whom he held the titles three times. So Gorilla remembers the team, knows that Fuji was a multiple time champion, but not that it was a three peat. Bobby Heenan would never do that. Tanaka comes back in and gets knocked down again, setting up a backbreaker for a quick two.

Ax comes in to stay on the arm but it’s back to Smash, who gets karated up against the ropes so the villains can take over. Fuji must have helped them with his completely forgettable tag team experience. We get some kind of cheap shot from Tanaka, which the camera completely misses, leaving commentary totally confused at what happened. Fuji gets in a cane shot and the beating continues, to the point where Ax comes in to hammer away and blow off some steam.

Ax trying to come in again lets the Express get in some more double teaming, which consists of hitting Smash a few more times. That’s broken up with a single clothesline out of the corner though and it’s Ax coming back in to clean house. A powerslam gets two on Sato as everything breaks down. Fuji breaks up the Decapitator with another cane shot and Sato adds some salt to the eyes for the countout at 10:57.

Rating: C. Demolition loses to the Orient Express less than two weeks before getting the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania? In theory that would set up a title rematch down the line, but dang that’s a weird way to treat the #1 contenders so close to a major match. This was only ok anyway, as Demolition never felt like they were in any real danger and mainly shrugged off all of the chops and kicks.

From New York City, New York, March 19, 1990.

Rick Martel vs. Bret Hart

Same show as the previous match and this should be a bit better. Martel knocks him into the corner to start but Hart is right back up to knock him to the floor, allowing Monsoon to talk about the “external occipital protuberance”. Back in and Martel misses a charge into the corner, allowing Hart to work on the arm a bit. The armbar goes on as Monsoon thinks these two are going to do rather well with the ladies.

A backslide gives Hart two and we’re right back to the armbar. As Hillbilly Jim tries to figure out where he would fit in over in Europe (Hayes doesn’t think it would work), Martel leverages Hart out to the floor. Jim accepts that he can’t go due to the lack of possum pie as Martel can’t pose due to the banged up arm.

A suplex brings Hart back in and we hit the abdominal stretch to give Monsoon an opening to complain about the lack of a leg hook. Hart gets in his own suplex into a backbreaker for two and Martel needs a breather on the floor. Back in and Hart hits a dropkick but he doesn’t have the Sharpshooter yet so it’s a stomp to the ribs for two instead. Martel bails to the floor and it’s a time limit draw at 12:02. The full match runs about 22 minutes so that’s a heck of a trim job.

Rating: B-. I could go for seeing the whole thing as they were having some good chemistry out there. Hart was clearly getting a look for a rather eventual solo run, even if it was over a year away at this point. What mattered here was letting Hart show what he could do and Martel was a great choice to make that work as he really was that talented.

Post match Hart beats him up again.

We get a profile on Slick, who talks about how he is the greatest of the great. This means a quick montage of Slick dancing and cheating, set to the still outstanding Jive Soul Bro. That’s not much of a profile.

From New York City, New York, December 28, 1989.

Rick Rude vs. Roddy Piper

Inside a cage, with a new rule of being able to win via pinfall. They start fast with Rude being sent into the cage as commentary is surprised by the idea of a referee in there. Piper whips away with a belt, setting up an atomic drop to keep rude in (amusing) trouble. Rude is sent into the cage as it’s all Piper so far. Piper goes up but gets cut off (with his trunks coming down) by the rather bloody Rude.

Some forearms keep Piper down but he’s fine enough to pull Rude back in, with the tights coming way off to bring up the blurred image. Back in and Piper hammers away but gets caught in a quick Rude Awakening. Rude can’t follow up though as he’s still blinded by the blood in his eyes (and the blur on the upper half of his tights, only for Piper to almost get out as a result. They both go up and fight on top of the cage before climbing down on the outside.

A double ram into the cage lets them come crashing down and they hit at the exact same time (we need Jesse Ventura to say one of their legs were straight). The match must continue, so Rude hits him with a chair and they go back inside, where hopefully Rude will pull hits freaking tights up already. Rude goes to the top of the cage and hits a top rope fist drop, leaving Piper vibrating in what looks like a Hogan impression.

That’s only good for a rather delayed two so Rude goes up again, only to get crotched down on top. Piper goes for the door but Heenan slams it onto his head, allowing Rude to hit a belly to back suplex. Heenan throws in some brass knuckles but Piper takes them away and knocks Rude out, allowing him to go through the door for the win at 12:53.

Rating: B+. These two worked very well together and they had a heck of a match here, with both guys beating the fire out of each other. It felt like a big blowoff between the two of them, which is what a cage match at MSG should be. You don’t see Piper getting big wins like this very often but dang did it worth. Check this out if you want an old school cage match between two legends.

And now, Bloopers, which are totally not staged in any way. This includes a bunch of scenes of Monsoon and Heenan at Busch Gardens, which don’t feel like bloopers as much as them doing their usual stuff. It also goes on way too long, with one of the only highlights being Monsoon dressed as Brother Love for Halloween.

From New York City, New York, February 19, 1990.

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect/The Genius

Perfect actually takes Hogan down to start and sends him outside, only for Perfect to stomp away as he comes back in. Hogan gets in a shot of his own though and it’s off to Beefcake for a double noggin knocker on the floor. Back in and a right hand gets two on Perfect and Hogan comes in for the back rake (villain).

Beefcake’s high knee connects and commentary talks about golf for some reason. They go outside though and Perfect gets in a shot with Genius’ metal scroll, followed by a ram into the barricade. The fans are RIGHT THERE to cheer for Hogan and it’s Genius coming in for some rather dainty rakes to the back. Hogan fights up and hands it off to Beefcake for the running knee on Perfect, followed by the sleeper. Genius gets in a scroll shot though, allowing Hogan to chase him to the back (Hillbilly: “That’s right, you better run.”).

Hogan has to run back to break up a VERY slow count as Genius is back on the apron. Heenan asks Jim about horseshoes as Genius rakes Beefcake’s eyes, allowing Perfect to come back in. The slow beating continues with the referee not seeing the tag to Hogan, allowing Beefcake to get knocked back into the corner. Hogan breaks up the PerfectPlex and gets the tag to start cleaning house. Everything breaks down and the big boot into the legdrop finishes Genius at 15:10.

Rating: C-. Long, dull match here with the heat segment on Beefcake feeling like it was going on forever. The fans were into it though and that helps, but this needed to be about five minutes shorter to really work. Heenan needling Hillbilly on commentary was funny but that’s about the only high point for the whole thing.

Post match Genius is put to sleep and gets some more of his hair cut.

Mooney wraps it up and finds out that it was….the sign guy who was messing with the spooky SUPERTAPE deal. That’s stupid.

Overall Rating: B-. There are some bad spots in here, but for the most part this worked rather well. It’s a good era for the company with all kinds of star power and the cage match is definitely worth a look. The main event needs some work but other than that and Hercules vs. Akeem, nothing on here is bad. Check this one out if you get the chance as I had a fun time with some nice flashbacks.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble 1990
Date: January 21, 1990
Location: Orlando Arena, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

We hit the 90s and there’s a bit of a new feel to the company with that new decade. Things are now being made to look a little newer and it’s probably a good thing that they are. Oh and there’s also probably the biggest moment in the Rumble for…..arguably ever actually so there’s that to look forward to. Let’s get to it.

We get the list of almost everyone in the Rumble to start just like last year.

Jesse Ventura in Mickey Mouse Ears is a scary sight.

Buschwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeaus

We get ALL AMERICAN BOYS for the Rougeaus and Jacques has his MANLY beard. This is a Wrestlemania rematch from the previous year. We start with Butch vs. Ray and while this may sound like a stretch, I think this might be a comedy match. A quick sleeper by Ray is broken up and it’s time to bite the trunks as well as the referee for some reason. The Whackers clear the ring but Jacques hits the floor to avoid the Battering Ram.

Off to Luke vs. Jacques, with Luke taking a bite out of his nose. Jacques says hit me in the face, so Luke charges with a clothesline and hits Ray instead. Things slow down again and the Rougeaus easily distract Luke, allowing Ray to jump him for two. Ray comes in for real and kicks Luke down for two more. Luke is sent to the floor and goes back first into the apron. This match is already dragging.

Back in and Luke bites some more but it doesn’t get him anywhere. Luke gets rammed into the corner a bit, drawing Butch in which allows even more double teaming. We hit the chinlock followed by an abdominal stretch from Jacques. Now it’s off to a reverse chinlock to keep things slow.

We get the Arn Anderson cannonball drop onto a guy on the mat but the guy on the mat gets his knees up to crush Arn’s balls spot, followed by a hot tag to Butch. The Rougeaus are sent into each other and Jimmy Hart gets involved and beaten up. Jacques gets a quick rollup for two and Ray puts a Boston Crab on Butch. With the Rougeaus hugging for some reason, the Battering Ram to the back of Ray is enough for the pin by Butch.

Rating: D+. This was WAY too long at nearly fourteen minutes. The idea behind comedy matches is to keep things quick so that people don’t realize that half of the stuff you see here is stupid. The Rougeaus clearly didn’t care anymore and this would be the last match of Ray’s career. Jacques would go on to be the Mountie and win the Intercontinental Title, in one of the biggest surprises ever. Well not really but it was pretty surprising.

Gene is with DiBiase and Virgil and Ted is annoyed. Gene brings up the shenanigans last year with Ted “drawing” number thirty, but this year there’s additional security. Virgil drew the number for DiBiase and he got number 1. DiBiase’s “Let me tell you something little man” is a GREAT delivery as he’s so great at talking down to people.

The Genius vs. Brutus Beefcake

If you’re not familiar with Genius, think Damien Sandow if he read WWF themed poetry. Oh and he’s a jobber. And Macho Man’s real life brother. Genius offers a left-handed handshake but Brutus isn’t interested. Jesse gets on Tony about Genius beating Hogan via countout on SNME. Tony: “Well…..” Jesse: “WHO WON THE MATCH???” Genius heads to the floor for a cartwheel and we finally get the first lockup.

We get a clean break and Beefcake tells Genius what he can kiss. They lock up again and Genius goes to the eyes to get the first advantage. Beefcake comes out with an atomic drop and Genius gets to do his way overdone selling. I miss that. Back in and Genius fires off some shockingly good punches so Brutus comes back with an even bigger punch. Expect to hear the word punch a lot in this match.

Beefcake steps on Genius’ fingers like a total jerk and crotches Genius on the top rope. Half of Beefcake’s taunts would get him fired today for suggesting that Genius is effeminate. We go back to the standard story of the match: Genius gets in some strikes, Brutus hits him once to take over again. A dropkick gets two for Genius as does a rollup, but Brutus catches him coming off the middle rope with a punch to the ribs.

There’s the sleeper but Genius quickly escapes. Another sleeper attempt is quickly countered, but the Genius is knocked into the referee. Ref bumps weren’t cliched back in the 80s, so this is kind of a big development. Anyway the sleeper goes on again and Genius is going down quickly. Brutus puts him out and starts cutting his hair, but Genius’ buddy Mr. Perfect comes out for the save and the DQ.

Rating: D. This is one of those matches that was bad but it was energetic. For as much of a mess as Brutus would become in real life, the guy could get the fans fired up. That’s pretty impressive as he was almost all punching and a sleeper. This was pretty lame stuff but the fans loved it which is the right idea.

Perfect and Genius DESTROY Brutus’ ribs with the chair post match.

Sean Mooney is with the Heenan Family and suggests that they could fight each other. An argument ensues. That’s what Mooney was good at: ticking people off.

A show is coming. It’s called Wrestlemania.

Greg Valentine vs. Ronnie Garvin

This is a submission match as they both use submissions for a finisher. See? Not that complicated. Now the interesting thing here is that both guys have shin guards (Garvin even has his named: the Hammer Jammer) which blocks the pain of a Figure Four. They slug it out to start with Valentine being rammed into the buckles repeatedly. Greg comes back with chops and they slug it out in the middle of the ring.

It turns into a boxing match until Valentine goes after the leg. That gets him a thumb in the eye and they slug it out some more with both guys going down via a Garvin headbutt. Ronnie tries a sunset flip for reasons of stupidity and Valentine tries a cover of his own. Both guys go down again as this match is already running too long. Garvin rolls him up again to REALLY make it clear that it’s a submission match. See, wrestling fans are stupid and can’t understand the basic explanation of the rules.

Valentine adjusts his own shin guard (the Heartbreaker) and puts Garvin in the Figure Four. Ronnie’s guard blocks the pain, so Garvin makes funny faces at Valentine. Since that doesn’t work, Valentine puts on an over the shoulder backbreaker, much to Jesse’s delight (his old hold). Garvin pounds away in the corner and puts on an Indian Deathlock which has an effect on Greg but Valentine finally makes a rope.

They slug it out for the fifth time, although this one is at least on the floor. Valentine backdrops out of a piledriver on the concrete and we head back inside. Garvin misses a dropkick in the corner and gets caught in the Tree of Woe. That goes nowhere so they collide again and both guys go down. Hart steals Garvin’s shin guard and there’s the Figure Four. After a rope is grabbed, Garvin can’t even stand up.

Valentine goes up and Garvin slams him down from one leg. He takes off Valentine’s shin guard and tries a rollup because Ronnie is STUPID. Valentine gets tied up in the ropes so Garvin beats up Hart for fun. A shin guard shot to the head knocks out Valentine and the Sharpshooter (called a reverse Figure Four) makes Valentine give up.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here and it was even good at times, but MAN it was long, running nearly seventeen minutes. On top of that, the stupid pin thing went WAY too long into the match. This is probably the best Garvin match I’ve ever seen, but that doesn’t really mean much as he absolutely sucks most of the time.

Mr. Perfect doesn’t like Beefcake trying to take advantage of the Genius and we get a look at the chair attack from earlier tonight. Perfect says he got #30 in the Rumble. Well he is perfect after all.

It’s time for the Brother Love Show. You might know Love as Bruce Prichard, or one of the Gut Check judges on Impact. This is his most famous role, as a parody of 80s televangelists. He talks about what it means to be a lady, and brings out the woman whose picture is in the dictionary next to the word lady: Queen Sherri. Love sucks up to her and says he also looked up the word peasant in the Book of Love. The Book of Love is the dictionary?

Anyway the point is Sapphire (Dusty’s chick) is the definition of a peasant, making her fat and ugly. Sapphire comes out and they make fun of her looks, clothes and whatever else you would expect them to make fun of, while not letting Sapphire say a word at all. Now they make fun of Dusty for being fat and Sapphire finally blasts Sherri. Savage and Dusty come out and it’s a big brawl. Even Brother Love gets in on it until security breaks it up. A dance party ensues between Dusty and Sapphire, resulting in Love being thrown to the floor.

Duggan doesn’t have much to say about his match with Boss Man.

Big Boss Man vs. Jim Duggan

Boss Man has clearly lost a TON of weight since last year and he looks much better as a result. Duggan knocks him to the floor in a bump that Boss Man couldn’t have taken a year ago. They slug it out on the floor with Duggan taking over for a bit. Back inside and Boss Man reverses a whip before crushing Duggan with a splash. Boss Man busts out an ENZIGURI to put Duggan down again. It really is amazing to see how much better Boss Man looks after being a big fat blob last year at this show.

Boss Man hits his running crotch attack on the ropes to keep Duggan in trouble but he makes the mistake of ramming Jim face first into the buckles. Duggan’s comeback is short lived though as Boss Man hits him in the back to take over again. He cannonballs down on Duggan’s ribs as this is a good physical fight so far.

That of course comes to a screeching halt as we hit a neck crank by the cop. Duggan fights up and makes a quick comeback, only to get caught by a knee lift to the ribs. Back to the neck crank followed by a bearhug which Duggan fails to break with some smacks to the head. Instead he falls into the ropes and the brawl continues.

They slug it out some more and Duggan clotheslines him out to the floor. Back in and more punching (notice a theme here?) ensues by Jim. Boss Man comes back with a clothesline but misses a top rope splash. They collide again to put both guys down but Slick slips the nightstick to Boss Man which draws the DQ.

Rating: C+. They definitely made the right move here by going with a pure brawl instead of anything resembling a wrestling match. The fans absolutely love Jim Duggan so there was no way the crowd wasn’t going to be into this. Not a good match from a quality standpoint, but it was very fun which is the better way to go sometimes.

Wrestlemania is still coming.

We get some promos from guys in the Rumble, most of which are spent talking about whoever they’re feuding with at the time: Earthquake, Bravo, Demolition, Bad News Brown, Dusty Rhodes, the Rockers, Hercules (calling it the Rumble Royal, which was the original name for the show actually), Rick Martel, Tito Santana, Snuka, Akeem (Slick does the talking) and Warrior (Intercontinental Champion), who talks about Hulk Hogan. This would have given fans chills up their spine at the thought of it happening but then they would say “Nah, that couldn’t happen.”

More promos as we’re in intermission: Savage, the Powers of Pain (Fuji does the talking), Roberts, the Hart Foundation, Honky Tonk Man and Hogan (WWF Champion of course) who looks either bloated or high as a kite.

Royal Rumble

DiBiase is #1 and Koko B. Ware is #2. Ted jumps Koko as he gets in and stomps him down. The beating goes on for awhile until trying to ram Koko’s head into the buckle, which has no effect. See Koko is black and in WWF logic, that means he has a hard head. Koko fights back and misses a charge, sending him to the floor. Marty Jannetty is in at #3 and in literally one second less time, basically the exact same thing happens as did to Koko (minus the racial aspects) and Marty goes out.

Jake Roberts is #4 and they fight on the floor which I think is a first in the Rumble. DiBiase slams him on the floor before they head back inside. A backdrop puts DiBiase down but the DDT is countered into another backdrop. They keep brawling and #5 is Randy Savage. DiBiase and Savage forget their past hatred to double team Jake for awhile until Roddy Piper is #6, setting up one of those AWESOME tag matches we never got. Seriously, that would be excellent on a Coliseum Video.

Piper and Jake beat up the heels, nearly punch each other, and then beat up the heels even more. The energy for this match is WAY better than the previous two years, which is saying a lot. Warlord is #7 and he should be solid cannon fodder for some of these guys. Piper pairs off with him as DiBiase and Savage continue their beatdown on Roberts. Roddy makes the save until Bret Hart is #8, drawing a BIG pop.

We get a six man tag for all intents and purposes, which would be another pretty interesting one with Bret being there to bump like crazy for Warlord. Bret goes after Savage, which would be great like their match on SNME. Bad News is #9 as the good run of talent continues. Jake loads up a DDT on DiBiase but Savage clotheslines him out, which is probably a good idea given how many people we’ve got out there.

Dusty Rhodes is #10 and the place continues to erupt. He heads right for Savage as you would expect him do and it’s elbows a go-go. A backdrop puts Savage out and we get Brown vs. Dusty for awhile, which I’m not sure what to think of. DiBiase takes Brown’s place which is probably the right idea. Andre is #11 and the fans aren’t sure what to think of this. Warlord goes right to him and gets tossed to a big pop. The fans still love the Giant.

Heenan and Fuji get into a fight on the floor as Andre rams Piper and Dusty’s heads together before crushing them in the corner. They come back on him and it’s the Red Rooster at #12. Even HE gets a bit of a pop before people realize that’s who just came out. Piper eliminates Brown but Brown comes back to the apron and eliminates Piper. They brawl to the back, setting up one of the strangest matches you’ll ever see at Mania.

Andre beats up Rooster and tosses him out as Ax is #13. Their teams are fighting over the tag titles at this point so there’s a story there. Hart and Rhodes try to throw out DiBiase and we get the traditional Andre is tied up in the ropes spot. Haku, Andre’s partner, is #14. Andre stands on Ax as Haku beats on Dusty. Things slow down a bit, which is understandable after the very hot first twenty minutes.

Smash is #15, giving us a group of Ax, Smash, Haku, Andre, Hart, DiBiase and Dusty. Demolition demolishes Andre down for the second time in two years before going off to beat on Haku. Rhodes and Hart beat on Dusty as people swap partners a bit. Akeem is #16 to give us another big fat guy in there. He goes after the Giant, but it’s a Demolition double clothesline that eliminates Andre. I’ve always loved that moment. Bret went out somewhere in there too.

Here’s Snuka at #17 to go after Akeem and take him out with a running headbutt. Ted and Dusty hammer away on each other a bit more until Dino Bravo is #18 with his manly powder blood trunks. Demolition beats up DiBiase and Earthquake is #19. There’s another team getting back to back numbers. Rhodes is out at Earthquake’s hands, as is Ax. Neidhart is #20, giving us Neidhart, Earthquake, Haku, Bravo, Snuka, Smash and DiBiase. Everyone gangs up on Earthquake and eliminates him, much to Bravo’s chagrin.

Neidhart and Smash work together on DiBiase, which would be unthinkable in about eight months. Here’s Warrior at #21 to go right after Bravo. They’ve got a bit of a feud going right now so Warrior dumps him with ease. Things slow down until Martel is in at #22. Haku backdrops Smash to the apron and superkicks him out. We were getting too many people in there so that’s a good idea.

Tito is #23 and of course we get a Strike Force battle, as they feuded for like, ever. Honky Tonk Man is #24 as things slow down a bit. We need another blast of energy in this soon. A bunch of people get together and dump Neidhart and Warrior clotheslines DiBiase out, giving him a new Iron Man record at just under 45 minutes. At the moment we’ve got Warrior, Honky, Martel, Santana, Snuka and Haku. Remember that blast of energy I said we needed? Hulk Hogan is #25.

Snuka goes after him and is immediately put out. Haku takes a big boot and is gone. Warrior and Martel dump Santana and we’re down to four in the ring. Shawn Michaels is #26. Hogan dumps Honky and it occurs to me that for some reason the entrance music for people stopped after like #6. Hogan dumps Honky, Warrior dumps Shawn and Martel and there are only two left in the ring.

This is the moment that changed the course of wrestling for a LONG time. You often hear the expression “everyone is on their feet”. In this case, that’s literally true as the place goes nuts and everyone in unison stands up. It’s a really cool visual and proof that this would work for Wrestlemania. They collide a few times and no one moves.

We get a criss cross to set up a double clothesline to put both guys down and the place is eating this up. As I said, this changed wrestling because we now have a Wrestlemania main event, instead of the potential Hogan vs. Zeus or Hogan vs. Perfect. Perfect is great, but it wouldn’t have worked as the main event in front of 67,000 people. Anyway Barbarian comes in at #27 and doesn’t do much so Rick Rude comes in like twenty second early at #28. I’ve always wondered if that was intentional to prevent more of just Hogan vs. Warrior.

The heels double team Hogan to put him down but Warrior saves. They beat up Warrior a bit until Hogan Hulks Up and goes to the corner, eliminating Warrior in the process. Hercules is #29, which is pretty awesome luck as he got #28 the year before. Hogan tries to put Barbarian out but gets poked in the eye. Perfect is #30, giving us a final five of Hogan, Rude, Barbarian, Hercules and Perfect.

Hercules backdrops Barbarian out to get us down to four and we pair off with Herc vs. Rude and Perfect vs. Hogan. Rude backdrops the power dude out and we’re down to a handicap match. I think you can see how this is going to end. A quick double team ends with Perfect getting punched to the apron by Rude. Perfect low bridges Rude out and we’re down to two. Hennig pounds away and hits the PerfectPlex but it’s time for more Hulking Up. Slingshot into the post, clothesline, Hogan wins.

Rating: A-. THIS IS MORE LIKE IT! They totally got the formula down here and had a white hot crowd to do it in front of. The first twenty minutes or so here are just about perfect with a ton of talented guys working HARD. The next big drags just slightly but certainly aren’t bad, and then things went through the roof with Hogan vs. Warrior and the ending. Perfect was supposed to win here, but Hogan vetoed it and got the win himself. The more I think about that the less I dislike it because after the first two matches, you almost had to have a main eventer win this. Either way, great stuff here and one of the best Rumbles ever.

Overall Rating: B-. This is one of those tricky shows to rate as you have four pretty weak matches to start things off, but the Rumble is great and is longer than all four other matches combined. The Rumble is all that mattered here anyway and we got a great one to really establish a standard for the match for years to come. Also Wrestlemania is shaping up really well, so I don’t have many complaints here at all. Good stuff.

Ratings Comparison

Bushwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeaus

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Brutus Beefcake vs. The Genius

Original: C+

Redo: D

Ronnie Garvin vs. Greg Valentine

Original: F (Biased). B- (Unbiase).

Redo: C+

Jim Duggan vs. Big Boss Man

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Royal Rumble

Original: A-

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Dang the weight of the Rumble has gone way up in the last few years.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/09/royal-rumble-count-up-1990/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

WWF’s Hottest Matches
Host: Sean Mooney
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes

This is another Coliseum Video from the WWE Vault and of course I’m going to give it a shot. It’s one of those compilation tapes that was thrown together, often from dark matches with some commentary added. In other words, there is a grand total of no telling how good this might be. Let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney welcomes us to the show and gives us a quick rundown. This seems to be from late summer to fall 1990.

From Glens Falls, New York on April 4, 1990.

Rick Martel vs. Tito Santana

Apparently Heenan is wearing Arrogance and Monsoon isn’t a fan. What would a gorilla know about smelling nice? Santana takes Martel up to the ropes to start and messes with his hair a bit, which can’t be fair. Martel tries to go after him for a change and gets hiptossed, followed by some dropkicks to send Martel bailing to the floor, where it’s time for some jaw rubbing. Back in and Martel sends him face first into the buckle but misses a running knee. Santana starts in on the leg with some cannonballs down onto it, followed by some general cranking.

That’s broken up with some choking on the mat, which sets up some choking in the corner. Back up and Martel’s leg gives out on a leapfrog so Santana wraps it around the post (what a hero). The Figure Four is blocked, with commentary arguing (as only they can) about which leg Santana should be spinning.

Santana fights up and sends him face first into the buckle seven (not ten, but seven) times. Martel misses a middle rope spinning crossbody and the flying forearm sends him crashing out to the floor. The referee gets in Santana’s way so Santana shoves him down, meaning it’s a shot of Arrogance to the eyes to give Martel the pin at 9:40. Heenan to Monsoon: “YOU OWE ME DINNER!”

Rating: B. What is there to say here? Two talented wrestlers with a history had a good match, with the villain cheating to win. That’s always going to work and it was a perfectly fine story. This felt like a case where they were told to go do something and it went well, which shouldn’t be much of a surprise. The surprising part is that they never got a big blowoff, though it was scheduled for Summerslam 1990 until Martel got hurt.

We get a history of the WWF Tag Team Titles, starting with Demolition winning the titles from Strike Force at Wrestlemania IV, with Alfred Hayes talking about the aspects that come together to make a successful team. In short, they need to work well together. That’s the British analysis that makes wrestling seem so simple. Granted in this case Demolition cheated by using Mr. Fuji’s cane so it’s even more basic than it seems.

Then we move on to the Colossal Connection beating Demolition to win the titles at the end of 1989.

Then Demolition got the titles back at Wrestlemania VI. For some reason Hayes describes this as an “unprecedented” third reign, which is just wrong. Heck, their former manager Mr. Fuji was half of the first team to do it!

Then the Hart Foundation won the titles at Summerslam 1990. There is no mention of Crush being added to Demolition as he’s just kind of there now. That being said, the pop for the Harts winning the titles is one of the best ever and something I’ll still throw on for the sake of a smile.

So this whole thing was just a recap of the last two and a half years of the titles, with the Brainbusters’ title reign only being mentioned in passing.

From Toronto, Ontario, Canada on June 17, 1990.

Orient Express vs. Rockers

This should be good and Mr. Fuji is here with the Express. The Rockers start fast and send the Express into each other, setting up stereo hiptosses. The stereo dropkicks don’t happen though as Marty throws a right hand instead, though we’re probably lucky he remembered to put on his boots.

We settle down to Tanaka cheap shotting Michaels to start but Michaels twists on the arm to cut that off. Marty drops a splash on the arm before they trade leapfrogs, only for Marty to take him down by the arm again. Another cheap shot lets Sato come in off a non-existent tag and work on Marty’s arm for a change. Ever the good referee, Danny Davis won’t let Marty throw a punch, allowing Sato to pull him down by the hair and switch with Tanaka without a tag.

Back up and Marty manages to ram them into each other and then start in on Sato’s arm for a change. Michaels grabs a neckbreaker and, yes, works on the arm again. Marty comes in and gets kicked in the back of the head to take him down. A superkick sends Marty outside and of course Fuji is right there with a cane shot, like all bowler wearing managers should be. Back in and Sato kicks him in the head for two and Tanaka does the same for the same.

The chinlock goes on and despite Marty’s arm laying on the rope, the referee doesn’t break it up. This guy might not be very good at his job. The slow strikes set up another chinlock until Marty fights up for a sunset flip. Ever the good partner, Tanaka is right there for a save before even a one count. A clothesline finally gets Marty over for the tag and house is quickly cleaned. Everything breaks down and they fight to the floor, with only the Rockers beating the count back in at 12:08.

Rating: C+. Well it wasn’t great and they’re definitely capable of doing better, but these teams worked well together and that was the case again here. Even when they were doing something as basic as working the arm and a lot of chinlocks, they were moving around well enough to keep me interested. Not one of their best, but I’ll take it for a house show match.

And now, a fan favorite match!

From Niagara Falls, New York on June 27, 1989.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Greg Valentine

Dusty wins a shove off to start before Valentine works on the arm. An elbow to the head gives us the TIMBER fall from Valentine, who needs some help from Jimmy Hart on the floor. Back in and Rhodes strikes away with as much speed as you would expect, only to miss the big elbow. Valentine’s elbows to the head work rather well and we hit the chinlock. Back up and some more shots to the head wake Rhodes up, to the point where he scores with a dropkick.

Right hands and chops put Valentine down but Rhodes can’t get his terrible Figure Four. Valentine slowly hammers away and we hit the chinlock for a bit. Rhodes fights up again and, again, hammers away until he runs into a knee in the corner. Hart tries to go up top but referee Ronnie Garvin isn’t having that. Rhodes gets what can generously be described as a rollup for the pin at 10:07.

Rating: D. If this is a Fan Favorite match, I’d like to sign up for an Enemies Hate match as it has to be better. This was two guys slowly hitting each other and a bad looking cradle for the pin. I get that Rhodes was all about the talking, but you need to be able to do something in the ring to back it up and that just wasn’t the case here.

This month’s profile is on Jake Roberts, meaning we get another Hayes narrated intro.

From Binghamton, New York on June 6, 1990.

Jake Roberts vs. Akeem

Slick is here with Akeem as this is a rather tall match. Roberts works on the arm to start but gets shouldered down. The threat of a DDT sends Akeem outside (common result in Roberts matches) before Roberts gets back to the arm back inside. Akeem shrugs that off and powers him down again, with a running crotch attack to the back crushing Roberts. A missed charge into the corner…doesn’t do much damage to Akeem as he backdrops Roberts. Back up and Roberts hammers away but Slick breaks up another DDT attempt, only to get sent into Akeem for the DQ at 6:29.

Rating: C-. Well it was better than Rhodes and Valentine, if nothing else because Roberts can move around a bit faster. Akeem didn’t do much more here than the usual big man offense, but what else were you expecting from him? Slick helped here, if nothing else due to how amazing he looked in a green suit.

Post match Slick gets DDTed but Akeem cuts off the snake treatment.

Roberts talks about Ted DiBiase wanting the Million Dollar Title back and it just happens to be inside the snake bag. We see a bunch of snakes, including a rattlesnake and a cobra, who might be waiting in the bag with the title.

From Hamilton, Ontario, Canada on December 14, 1989.

Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase

Virgil is here with DiBiase and they double team Roberts before and at the bell, as again the referee is just fine with all of this. Roberts clotheslines them both down and slugs away at DiBiase to take over fast. A DDT attempt sends DiBiase bailing to the floor and we slow down a bit.

Back in and DiBiase avoids another try at the DDT so we can stall some more. Virgil (whose hand is in a cast) offers a distraction which doesn’t work as Roberts sees DiBiase coming in and immediately stares at him. For the third time (we’re just over three minutes in), DiBiase bails outside to avoid the DDT. This time Roberts shoves the two of them together and chases Virgil, allowing DiBiase to get in an elbow to finally take over. DiBiase gets smart by going after the recently repaired neck with some elbows and knees to said neck.

The stalling in between has the fans rather angry, which shows you how much you can get out of actually working the crowd. The front facelock stays on the neck before DiBiase walks around a bit more. DiBiase grabs the facelock again and, after Roberts fights out, drops a middle rope ax handle to cut him off. Roberts manages a quick swinging neckbreaker and they’re both down. Back up and Roberts takes out Virgil before hitting the short arm clothesline. The DDT is loaded up but Virgil comes in for the DQ at 12:37.

Rating: C. Another slow match which would have been better with about five fewer minutes. These two should have had some great chemistry together but for some reason it just never clicked. That was the case again here and it really only kind of worked, with DiBiase taunting the crowd to some nice success but little more.

Post match the beatdown is on with DiBiase hitting Roberts with some money. Roberts fights up and drops Virgil before knocking DiBiase outside and chasing him away. The DDT lays out Virgil and we get the snake treatment.

From Fresno, California on August 9, 1989.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Haku

Bobby Heenan is here with Haku. After a minute and a half of stalling, Heenan offers a distraction so Haku can send Beefcake into the corner to start. The jumping knee and a running knee send Haku to the corner, where he bites the face to come back. Some choking has Heenan rather pleased and we hit the chinlock.

Haku chokes even more and rakes the eyes to cut off Beefcake’s weird double punches. A missed elbow lets Beefcake hit some slams and a backdrop…doesn’t exactly work and winds up as more of a flapjack. The sleeper goes on (the fans approve) but Heenan comes in for the DQ at 8:44.

Rating: C-. This was a weird one as the wrestling itself is really dull and generic (Haku was running out of ways to choke), not to mention this being the third straight match that ended with the manager coming in for the DQ. The thing is though the fans were entirely into this and wanted to see Beefcake win. It was a really basic match but the fans cared and that’s worth a lot of points.

Post match the beatdown is on but Beefcake grabs the clippers to chase them off.

We get a profile on Sensational Sherri, who does not like being called a manager. She takes care of Randy Savage’s kingdom wherever it goes, from getting him plane tickets to tasting his food so nothing happens to his perfect body. Sherri is more than a manager, because she is a woman who screeches to the top of her lungs. So there’s your profile!

From San Antonio, Texas on April 24, 1990.

Shawn Michaels vs. Ted DiBiase

Marty Jannetty and Virgil are here too. DiBiase snaps off some armdrags to start and Michaels seems to realize he might be in some trouble. Michaels grabs a headlock into some armdrags of his own, with DiBiase rolling outside as Michaels is rather pleased that it worked. Back in and a headlock takeover puts DiBiase down, where he grabs the tights for some rollups rather than just lay on the mat.

It works so well that they do the sequence again as they’re starting basic but keeping it moving. Michaels gets driven into the corner before charging into a boot, allowing DiBiase to drop the punches. Choking sets up the chinlock as commentary bickers about Virgil’s level of stoogery. DiBiase throws him outside, where Virgil gets in some slaps with money, which doesn’t seem sanitary.

Back in and a suplex gives DiBiase two and we’re right back to the chinlock (he likes that one). The falling middle rope elbow misses though and Michaels stars the comeback, with a clothesline and dropkick getting two. A high crossbody gives Michaels the same but Virgil’s trip has Marty giving chase. DiBiase throws him out like it’s the 1990 Royal Rumble but everyone brawls in the ring for a double DQ at 14:44.

Rating: C+. Oh come on with these DQ’s already. Let someone get a rollup or a fluke pin or ANYTHING other than someone coming in for the DQ. Michaels was still a tag wrestler at this point and losing to someone the caliber of DiBiase wasn’t going to hurt him. The match was good enough as you would expect but the ending was more annoying than anything else.

Post match the Rockers clean house without much trouble. The ring announcer calls it a double countout, with Monsoon losing it on commentary until it’s corrected to a double DQ.

We go to the gym for a workout with Power & Glory. They lift weights and brag about their muscles. A lot. Like quite a lot. Probably too much really. Of note: there are trees visible outside of the window. I wonder if this was filmed in Vince McMahon’s home gym.

From Huntington, West Virginia on June 26, 1990.

Randy Savage/Queen Sherri vs. Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire

Brother Love and Miss Elizabeth (the latter accompanied by Pat Patterson) are here too. We hit the stall button for a good while to start, with the men getting in an OH YEAH off. Savage holds back Love from a threatening Rhodes before the women officially get things started. Sherri’s kicks are caught and she misses a charge, with Sapphire throwing her down. Love offers a distraction so Savage can cheat a bit, earning himself an elbow from Rhodes.

Sherri’s dress comes up and Monsoon is VERY confused by what he sees. Savage bails out to the floor before coming back in and getting elbowed in the face. Love’s distraction lets Savage fight back, setting up the top rope ax handle. The sleeper keeps Rhodes down, with Sherri dropping to the apron and hammering on the mat, with even Heenan not being sure why she’s so anxious. Rhodes fights up and he punches Savage out of the air, only for Love to break it up again.

The running crotch attack misses for Savage so Rhodes goes after Love, earning himself a knee from Sherri. Love accidentally misses Sherri and they go back inside, with Rhodes grabbing his own sleeper. That’s broken up with Love hitting him with what looks like Sherri’s loaded purse. The double tag brings in the women, with Sapphire falling on Sherri for two. Everything breaks down and Savage knees Love off the apron by mistake. Sherri loads up the purse again but Elizabeth takes it away and knocks Sherri cold to give Sapphire the pin at 10:27.

Rating: B. This was an absolute blast with nothing resembling a serious match. They just had a good time with everyone doing their thing and Sherri and Love being little more than slapstick villains. Sherri did her thing and the shot at the end was great. It was terrible from a wrestling perspective but egads I had a great time with this one.

The winners leave and Sherri DOES NOT MOVE in a funny bit. She finally staggers out, stealing the show as usual.

Sean Mooney’s papers catch on fire (the running gag for the show is that the studio keeps getting hotter, which wasn’t mentioned due to reasons of stupidity) and he can’t figure out the fire extinguisher to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The opener was good and the last match helped, but dang this was a rough sit at times. There was that way too long string of disqualifications and the Tag Team Title thing felt like a waste of time. That being said, I can only get so mad at a Coliseum Video with two rather good matches, even if almost everything else in the middle was pretty much nothing. This wasn’t a good time for the company and that was on display here. If you need a sign of that, note that the Ultimate Warrior, the WWF Champion at this time, is nowhere to be found. That can’t be a good sign and this wasn’t an overly good tape.

 

 

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Survivor Series 1990
Date: November 22, 1990
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

I haven’t looked at this one in a long time so we might as well do it here. This is a big one from a historical stance, with an all time debut and something that is much more infamous than anything else. Other than that, we have the usual Survivor Series matches, plus an idea that they never used again. Let’s get to it.

We get the rather cool squares intros, showing all of the matches tonight, including the team names, which always add a nice flavor to the whole thing.

So the other deal here is that we have the Grand Finale Match of Survival, where the winners will face off again in a final Survivor Series match. Yeah I don’t get the point either.

The Ultimate Warriors promise to win. Well in theory that’s what Warrior says, as he rambles on about sacrifice and forming a bond with no medicine being able to cure what they have. I think.

Ultimate Warriors vs. Perfect Team

Ultimate Warriors: Ultimate Warrior, Texas Tornado, Legion Of Doom
Perfect Team: Mr. Perfect, Demolition

Mr. Fuji and Bobby Heenan are here with the villains. They take their sweet time settling down until Animal tackles Smash to start fast. A shot to the ribs slows Animal down and it’s Perfect coming in to stay on said ribs. Animal powerslams his way out of trouble and gets in an atomic drop, allowing the double tag to Von Erich and Ax (whose hair isn’t slicked back and who pretty clearly doesn’t want to be anywhere near this show). The Claw has Ax in trouble and it’s off to Warrior for the shoulder and splash for the elimination at 3:24. That’s the last you would see of Ax in the WWF ever again, and he can’t get out of the ring fast enough.

Crush comes in to clothesline Warrior but it’s off to Hawk to choke Perfect. One heck of a missed charge hits the post though and Demolition gets to hammer on Hawk. That doesn’t last long as Hawk is back up with a top rope clothesline and everything breaks down. The referee isn’t playing with this one and disqualifies the Legion of Doom and Demolition at 7:45, leaving us with Perfect vs. Warrior/Tornado. Piper: “I’M WRITING IT DOWN!”

Warrior comes in but Perfect wants Tornado, who comes in and knocks Perfect over the top. Perfect needs a breather on the floor so Warrior sends him into Heenan. Back in and Perfect avoids a charge into the post before going to the eyes to really keep Tornado in trouble. A ram into an exposed buckle into the PerfectPlex finishes Tornado at 11:05 and we’re one on one.

Warrior comes in and gets PerfectPlexed for two, but because it’s a finisher, he’s down for a bit. A clothesline gets two, with Warrior’s kickout sending Perfect onto the referee. That doesn’t have an impact this time as Warrior fights up and starts the clothesline comeback. The shoulder and splash finish Perfect for the win at 14:21.

Rating: D+. This was just lame in every sense of the word, as they never bothered to put in any effort, the double DQ was just lazy, and the ending was never in doubt as the villains were fighting from behind for most of the match. It was clear that Warrior had nothing to do at the moment and Perfect wasn’t a serious challenger. Pretty awful match here and still one of the worst in the show’s history.

The Million Dollar Team is ready to win, even with their absent mystery partner.

Dream Team vs. Million Dollar Team

Dream Team: Dusty Rhodes, Hart Foundation, Koko B. Ware
Million Dollar Team: Ted DiBiase, Rhythm And Blues, ???

So this is a famous one as DiBiase (Virgil) brings out the mystery partner, complete with his own manager Brother Love, the Undertaker. And this is immediately a hit, with Piper getting in the famous line of “LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT HAMHOCK!” This is one of those cases where everyone collectively went “….whoa” as you don’t see something like this very often and the people knew it.

Hart and Undertaker start things off and the proto chokeslam takes Hart down. Neidhart comes in and is immediately slammed so it’s off to Ware, who is piledriven (Monsoon: “He just got hit with the Tombstone!”) for the elimination at 1:45, instantly making Undertaker look like an absolute monster. Hart comes in and hammers away, so Undertaker glares at him and tags out in an almost eerie moment. The good guys start taking over on Valentine’s arm but he gets a knee up in the corner to cut Hart off. Honky Tonk Man comes in and is promptly powerslammed to give Neidhart the elimination at 4:24.

It’s off to DiBiase to hammer on Neidhart (makes sense on an Anvil), who fights up for the tag to the (non polka-dotted) Dusty. Elbows and a dropkick have DiBiase in trouble so it’s back to Neidhart, who gets tripped by Virgil. That’s enough for DiBiase to hit a clothesline for the elimination at 5:57, because people get pinned by clotheslines at the Survivor Series.

Hart comes back in and stomps away in the corner before Rhodes comes in and gets dropped with a shot to the face. It’s back to Undertaker, who chokes Hart in the corner but hands it back to DiBiase, who gets atomic dropped. Rhodes comes back in and gets dropped again, with Undertaker hitting a top rope ax handle to pin Rhodes at 8:33. Undertaker throws Rhodes over the top so Love can stomp away. That earns him a stalking to the back, with Undertaker following and getting counted out at 9:26, as they had to do something to avoid him getting pinned in his debut.

So it’s Hart vs. Valentine/DiBiase, but Hart small packages Valentine for the pin at 10:02 to get us down to one on one. Hart wastes no time in knocking DiBiase outside for a slingshot dive and a posting. Back in and Hart hammers away in the corner but DiBiase is back up with some chops. Hart seems to hurt his leg running the ropes, but it’s the not yet standard goldbricking so he can roll DiBiase up for two. Hart gets two off the middle rope elbow and tries a crossbody, with DiBiase rolling through for the final pin at 14:02.

Rating: B. This was a tale of two star making performances as Hart (who was dedicating the match to his brother, who had passed away the day before) had another one of those showings that made you know he was going to be something special. That being said, there’s a reason the Undertaker’s debut is one of the best ever, as sweet goodness he looked like an absolute star and you knew it was something special. Granted I don’t think anyone could have guessed how special, but it’s still effective over thirty five years later, so they’re definitely onto something.

Hart yelling F*** into the camera after the fall is oddly missing here.

The Vipers are in the shower and ready for a bunch of individual battles in their team match.

Vipers vs. Visionaries

Vipers: Jake Roberts, Rockers, Jimmy Snuka
Visionaries: Rick Martel, Power and Glory, Warlord

This is built around Martel blinding Roberts with his arrogance cologne. Snuka is looking horrible here, with a huge afro and a not so great looking face. Jannetty and the Warlord start things off, meaning Piper can make I Am The Walrus jokes. Warlord misses a charge into the corner to start but is fine enough to shrug off some dropkicks. Jannetty picks up thee pace with some right hands and Shawn clotheslines Warlord into a sunset flip.

Martel comes in and gets hiptossed into a dropkick with Martel bailing out to the floor. Roberts grabs a wristlock on Roma and it’s quickly off to Hercules vs. Snuka. The rapid fire tags bring Jannetty back in to hammer on Warlord, who powerslams him out of the air (that looked great) for the pin at 5:19.

Michaels comes in with a hurricanrana before it’s back to Roberts for a clothesline to put Warlord down. One heck of a backdrop sends Michaels flying and Hercules drops him with a clothesline. A hard whip into the corner gets two on Michaels but he avoids a charge into the post. Snuka comes in to unload in the corner before firing off a middle rope crossbody, but Martel rolls through and grabs tights for the pin at 9:46.

Roberts comes in to go after Martel, who hands it off to Hercules, much to Roberts’ annoyance. The threat of a DDT sends Hercules bailing out to the floor and a cheap shot (as Roberts can barely see) takes Roberts down. Roma misses a top rope fist drop though and it’s back to Michaels (who was injured by Power & Glory). A middle rope elbow gets two on Roma but Hercules comes in off a blind tag to deck him from behind. Hercules drops him with a gorilla press and the PowerPlex makes it 4-1 at 15:17.

Warlord wastes no time with a bearhug but Roberts gets out. Since 4-1 isn’t enough, Roma offers a distraction so the referee doesn’t see the DDT….or Martel spraying Roberts with Arrogance. That’s enough for Roberts, so he grabs Damien and chases Martel (not legal, so not eliminated) to the back for the countout to wrap it up at 17:04.

Rating: C-. While not as bad as the opener, this was another boring match with pretty much nothing going on. Martel and company weren’t a good team but they were running through the Vipers like they weren’t even there. Michaels was his usual good self, but Snuka looked ancient, Jannetty wasn’t there long enough, and Roberts hit his one move. Another bad match as this show is remembered for one good thing for a reason.

The Hulkamaniacs have been surviving for a long time and now it’s time to do it again here. They also dedicate the match to the armed forces and are ready to go fight Saddam Hussein.

Hulkamaniacs vs. Natural Disasters

Hulkamaniacs: Hulk Hogan, Tugboat, Jim Duggan, Big Boss Man
Natural Disasters: Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Haku, Barbarian

Jimmy Hart and Bobby Heenan are here with the villains as commentary tries to figure out the lineup for the Grand Finale match. How do you know that Rick Martel is going to be a heel? Maybe he’s a Little Warrior. Big pop for Hogan too, as there was something left to this Hulkamania thing. Piper: “What are they chanting?” Gorilla: “Hogan!” Piper: “That might have been the dumbest question I’ve asked in 1990.”

Duggan and Haku slug it out to start until Haku misses a middle rope crossbody (oh geez he can fly too). Duggan’s elbow misses as well so it’s off to Bravo for an atomic drop. Boss Man comes in to slug away on Haku, who hits a dropkick to cut him off. That earns him the Boss Man Slam and Haku is out at 3:15. Boss Man kicks Barbarian in the face but goes after Heenan, allowing Barbarian to come back with a belly to back suplex. Duggan comes in but gets powered into the corner by Earthquake, who isn’t about to be slammed. Instead Duggan grabs the 2×4 to chase Hart but stops to hit Earthquake for the DQ at 6:12.

Hogan comes in to slam all three villains and hammers away at Earthquake in the corner. That’s broken up and Earthquake plants him down, allowing Bravo to drop an elbow. Hogan goes technical though and small packages Bravo for the pin at 8:00 as the villains are playing from behind again. Boss Man comes in to slug away at Earthquake….who catches a high crossbody in mid air. Sweet goodness that’s insane. Hogan breaks it up but Barbarian gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Some elbow drops get rid of Boss Man at 9:10 to get us down to 2-2, with even commentary forgetting that Tugboat was there.

Hogan hammers on Earthquake but can’t slam him this time. He can bring in Tugboat though and the brawl with Earthquake goes to the floor for the double countout at 11:34, making it Hogan vs. Barbarian. The slow beating is on and a not great piledriver gives Barbarian two. A double clothesline leaves both of them down and it’s Barbarian up first with his big clothesline. Hogan fights up and the big boot into the legdrop finishes at 14:50.

Rating: C. And that’s the second best match of the night. This was Hogan and his friends doing Hogan’s greatest hits against a pretty generic group of villains. You could see that the magic was wearing off with Hogan as he didn’t have a top opponent (after beating Earthquake at Summerslam) and the match was only so exciting. Beating Earthquake by countout on back to back pay per views didn’t help either.

Hogan beats up Heenan for fun.

Here is Randy Savage to be annoyed at being accused of….eating Thanksgiving dinner? Either way, he’s after the Ultimate Warrior and the WWF Title, because it is being held by the Ultimate Chicken. Queen Sherri did NOT do his fighting for him when he slapped the Warrior because he is the greatest Superstar of all time.

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Alliance: Nikolai Volkoff, Tito Santana, Bushwhackers
Mercenaries: Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Orient Express

Before the match, Slaughter mocks the American troops in the Middle East for not having a good Thanksgiving dinner. Piper is TICKED over this, to the point where I’m surprised he and Slaughter never had a title match. Butch hammers on Zhukov to start and it’s off to Santana for the flying forearm and the pin at 50 seconds. As the heels are behind AGAIN. The Battering Ram gets rid of Sato at 1:51 as they’re making it pretty clear that this match doesn’t need to be a Survivor Series match because a bunch of people are going to be gone fast.

Tanaka kicks Butch down and misses a headbutt, meaning it’s another forearm to make it 4-1 at 2:11. Volkoff comes in to hammer away in the corner but gets dropped with a clothesline. Some elbow drops begin the slow beatdown, capped off with another elbow for the pin at 5:26. The Bushwhackers are in with a double clothesline but Luke’s top rope splash hits knees. A gutbuster gives Slaughter the pin at 6:32 and Butch is out to a clothesline at 6:55.

So it’s Santana vs. Slaughter with Santana coming in off the top with a forearm to take over. Slaughter is right back with a neckbreaker and a backbreaker gets two. A suplex gives Slaughter a delayed two but the referee gets bumped. Santana hits the forearm but General Adnan comes in with the flag shot for the DQ to end this at 10:35.

Rating: D+. This show is terrible and there isn’t much of a way to hide it. It was clear that this needed to be Santana vs. Slaughter, as the match would have been better and let us skip six eliminations in about seven minutes. At the same time, Slaughter wasn’t feeling like a top heel here and there wasn’t much of a way around it.

Ted DiBiase and the Visionaries are ready for Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior and Tito Santana, because Warrior and Hogan had issues just a few months ago at Wrestlemania.

And now, it’s time for the egg to hatch. Yeah there has been a big egg for weeks and it finally hatches to reveal….a humanoid turkey thing which Gene Okerlund dubs the Gobbledy Gooker. He and Gene go to the ring to dance and the fans boo this out of the building, as it’s just a big waste of time that adds nothing. The idea was to make a fun mascot for kids but that could have been covered by someone like Jim Duggan in a costume. Also, when you’re expecting anything interesting and get…whatever this was. This is an all time disaster and it has become a running joke for almost forty years as a result.

Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior and Tito Santana don’t think they’re behind because the Hulkamaniacs are in their corner.

Hulk Hogan/Tito Santana/Ultimate Warrior vs. Visionaries/Ted DiBiase

Santana forearms Warlord for the pin at 24 seconds. Roma powerslams Santana down and DiBiase comes in with a suplex for two. Santana misses the forearm and gets caught with a hot shot for the pin at 1:52. Hogan comes in to hammer on DiBiase but Hercules comes in to get a few shots of his own. The villains keep taking turns hammering on Hogan as even Piper is telling him to get it together already. DiBiase gets two off a fist drop but the PowerPlex triggers the Hulk Up.

The clothesline finishes Roma at 5:39 so Martel comes in for the ineffective hammering. Hogan kicks him down and hands it off to Warrior who slams Martel a few times, allowing Hogan to clothesline Martel to the floor for a countout at 7:23. It’s down to DiBiase/Hercules, which would be a lot more interesting about two years ago. Hogan powers DiBiase into the corner, hits the boot and drops the leg to make it 2-1 at 8:38. The powerslam lets Warrior come back in for a shoulder and the splash to win it all at 9:09.

Rating: D. Good grief they actually made it less interesting. I didn’t think this could get worse as the rest of the show had bee but they pulled it off. I’m not sure what the point of this was other than to get Hogan and Warrior out there again, but it doesn’t really make much of a difference when we saw them both in the last few hours. Nothing to see here, with Hogan and Warrior running through some midcard villains in short order.

Overall Rating: D. There is one good match in almost two and half hours here and that match is mostly memorable for one debut and nothing more. Other than that, it was a good illustration of how things needed to change. The 80s were over and Warrior wasn’t working on top, but Hogan’s act was fairly tired and not the long term solution.

That being said, the biggest problem is the lack of major villains. Warrior had Mr. Perfect, Hogan had already had his big match with Earthquake, and other than that you had Savage on the way up, but that’s not enough to fight two superpowers. Slaughter was getting a reaction but it absolutely did not have any kind of long term shelf life. Undertaker looked good, but it was his first night and he needed time to be turned into something big.

The whole thing didn’t work and it just kept getting worse. The Gooker stuff was the big, horrible icing on the whole thing as this was a bad show, with Undertaker and Bret Hart not being enough to come close to saving it. This show was pretty bad and the company was in need of a big overhaul, which would take a lot of time.

 

 

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Survivor Series 1990
Date: November 22, 1990
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

This is a somewhat different show that in recent years as we have a main event of sorts. It was never tried again and that’s probably the best idea. It’s called the Grand Finale Match of Survival in which the survivors of each team meet in one final Survivor Series match. The winners get absolutely nothing, which continues to prove that these shows are pretty worthless. Let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney welcomes us to the show and talks about the Grand Finale. He’s standing in front of a giant egg which apparently is going to hatch because of the heat from the crowd. Nothing good can possibly come from this.

The nifty squares open things up again.

After Gorilla and Piper chat a bit, we’re ready to go.

The Warriors vs. The Perfect Team

Ultimate Warrior, Texas Tornado, Legion of Doom
Mr. Perfect, Demolition

I guess this team isn’t as Ultimate as last year. This is the three man version of Demolition. Perfect is feuding with Tornado (Kerry Von Erich, the IC Champion) and the LOD is feuding with Demolition after the LOD cost them the titles. Warrior, the world champion, is there because he has nothing else to do. His team is in the back before the match and says they’ll win. Actually the name Warriors is appropriate as you have the Ultimate Warrior, the Modern Day Warrior (Von Erich’s nickname in WCCW) and the Road Warriors (the LOD’s NWA name).

I’ll never get why the LOD and Demolition never had a big proper match. They fought on house shows but that’s about it. Perfect immediately goes to the apron and lets part of Demolition start. It’s Animal vs. Smash first and they fight immediately with Animal taking him to the mat. Animal throws him into Hawk for a right hand and the other Warriors get in a shot as well.

Smash comes back with a powerslam for two and it’s off to Perfect. That doesn’t last long so here’s Smash again, and he walks right into a powerslam. Everything breaks down and the Warriors clear the ring. Tornado comes in to face Smash who is taking a beating in this so far. Off to Ax who has much better luck for about ten seconds. There’s the Claw from Tornado but for some reason Warrior gets the tag and hits a series of awkward looking shoulder blocks before finishing Ax with the splash.

Crush immediately comes in to jump Warrior and take over. Smash comes in to slam Warrior and Crush drops a top rope knee for two. Perfect is freaking out in his trademark over the top style. Warrior gets up a boot in the corner and clotheslines Crush down. Off to Hawk who always looks like he could murder someone in the ring. Perfect tries him out and is immediately slammed down.

Hawk counters a reversal to send Perfect into the corner but Bird Man’s shoulder goes into the post HARD to give the evil ones the advantage. Demolition pounds away on him but Hawk punches right back. A big flying shoulder puts Smash down and Hawk doesn’t tag when he has the chance. The top rope clothesline kills Smash and everything breaks down. Hawk kicks the referee and somehow this disqualifies Hawk, Animal, Smash and Crush. We’re down to Perfect vs. Warrior/Tornado.

It’s going to be Warrior starting the handicap match but Perfect wants Tornado instead. Perfect immediately jumps him and is clotheslined out almost immediately after the jumping. Warrior bangs Perfect’s head into Heenan’s and sends Bobby into the front row. Tornado charges at Perfect and slams into the post to give Perfect the advantage for a bit. A buckle gets exposed somewhere in there and after Tornado’s face goes into it, the Perfectplex makes it one on one.

Perfect tries the Plex again on Warrior which doesn’t work at all. Instead he hammers Warrior down and hits a great looking dropkick for two. Having Perfect run things out there for as long as possible is the best idea they’ve got. Warrior starts grabbing the ropes and shrugging off all the offense from Perfect. A shoulder block and the splash get the final pin.

Rating: D. This was probably the worst Survivor Series match so far in the four years they’ve been running this show. Not only was the match lopsided from the start, but half of the people in it were gone seven minutes in. Perfect never had a chance and Warrior had no reason to be in this match at all.

Ted DiBiase has a mystery partner for his match. Oh boy did he ever.

Million Dollar Team vs. Dream Team

Ted DiBiase, Rhythm and Blues, ???
Dusty Rhodes, Koko B. Ware, Hart Foundation

Rhythm and Blues are Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine and the Harts are the tag champions. Dusty and DiBiase are feuding for obvious character reasons. Now we get to the legendary part of the match: the mystery partner. DiBiase gets on the mic and introduces for the first time ever…..THE UNDERTAKER. Who on the planet would have imagined what this guy would become over the next twenty two years? Unreal indeed. The look on Taker’s face is eerie and he stands there like a zombie which makes it even better.

Quick sidebar: the Undertaker is probably the greatest example ever of someone being the only person that could pull off his character. Mark Calaway is PERFECT as the Undertaker with the look and the size and the dead looking eyes and the tattoos and everything like that. Before this he was just Mean Mark Callous in WCW and was a generic big villain. Sometimes it’s about finding what works and Taker has worked for a very long time. Also a bit of trivia: he debuted at a Superstars taping three days before this under the name Kane the Undertaker.

Undertaker and Bret start with Taker pounding the tar out of him. Well if you want to make someone look like a killer, call Bret Hart. Bret hits the ropes and charges at Taker, only to get caught by the throat and slammed down. It was more like a clothesline that Taker went to the mat with than the usual chokeslam here but he did have Bret by the throat.

Off to Neidhart who can’t move Taker at all and gets slammed for trying. Jim looked TERRIFIED and tags out to Koko, who is too stupid to be afraid. Koko misses a charge and clotheslines himself on the top. The Tombstone (I believed named by Gorilla on the spot here) debuts but isn’t exactly the famous version yet, as Taker has both of Koko’s legs on one side of his head and covers with the folded arms but from the sides. It looked and sounded great though.

Bret comes in and hammers on Undertaker who just stares at him. Taker tags in Valentine and gives one of the most evil glares you’ll ever see at Bret. Off to Big Dust who starts gyrating. They chop it out in the corner and it’s off to Anvil. The Harts take their turns working over Valentine’s arm but Greg gets a knee up in the corner. Off to Honky who is rapidly on his way out of the company. Bret makes a blind tag to Neidhart who sneaks in and powerslams Honky out.

DiBiase comes in to jump Neidhart but it’s quickly off to Dusty for the big showdown. It’s back to Neidhart quickly but Virgil trips Jim up and DiBiase clotheslines him down for the pin. Here’s Bret again who pounds away and it’s back to Dream for more of the same. Back to Undertaker who gets some HEIGHT on a jumping stomp to the back of Dusty’s head.

Bret comes in again and chokes Bret in the corner and somehow shows no emotion while at the same time looking angrier than any wrestler I’ve ever seen. Bret fights off DiBiase out of the corner and it’s off to Dusty. Taker comes in, goes up, walks (a little way) down the rope with no one to hold onto, and hits a double ax to eliminate Dusty. Brother Love stomps on Dusty a bit so Dusty chases him off. Undertaker stalks Dusty to the back to get counted out, which is the only thing they could have done with him here.

Back in the ring Bret rolls up Valentine very quickly and it’s DiBiase vs. Hart. Bret pounds on DiBiase and atomic drops him to the floor, followed by a pescado to take Ted out again. DiBiase’s shoulder goes into the post and his head goes into the steps and they head back inside. They slug it out but DiBiase sends him chest first into the buckle to take over.

A quick backslide gets two for Hart and now it’s time for a classic: Bret trips over DiBiase and fakes a knee injury, resulting in a small package for two. Virgil interference messes up and another rollup gets two for Bret. The backbreaker and middle rope elbow get two for Hart but DiBiase rolls through a cross body for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is a very interesting match as you could see stars being made and stars going away. DiBiase clearly didn’t mean as much as he used to and would shift into a tag team run soon after this. Dusty would be gone in January as would Honky. On the other hand you can see the rise of Bret Hart on the horizon as the crowd was LOSING IT over those near falls at the end. Oh and the Undertaker. That’s kind of a big deal.

The Vipers are ready for Martel’s team. Why they’re in the shower I’m not sure.

The Vipers vs. The Visionaries

Jake Roberts, Rockers, Jimmy Snuka
Rick Martel, Warlord, Power and Glory

Power and Glroy are Hercules and Paul Roma. This is built around Martel vs. Roberts, which is based on Martel blinding Jake with cologne and Jake not having full vision yet. This was a BIG feud which they screwed up with a horrible match at Wrestlemania. It wasn’t that the wrestling was bad, but that it was a blindfold match and they spent about 2 minutes in contact with each other.

Marty and Warlord start as Piper is singing I Am The Walrus. Warlord powers Marty around but misses a charge in the corner. For those of you unfamiliar with Warlord, imagine Chris Masters but paler, bald, and even dumber. Both Rockers try to outmaneuver him but it just results in bringing in Martel. Shawn handles him with ease and brings in Jake, causing Martel to scamper away.

It’s Roma instead and Jake picks him apart like he’s not even there. He works on Roma’s arm and brings in Snuka to keep it up, but the afro apparently weighs down Snuka’s brain to the point where he can’t maintain a wristlock. Off to Hercules who gets chopped down so it’s off to Warlord instead. Snuka tries his stuff but when that gets nowhere it’s off to Marty. Jannetty tries his speed stuff but jumps into a great looking powerslam for the pin.

Off to Shawn whose leapfrog is caught but he ranas Warlord down instead. Jake comes in and the fans wants a DDT. A bunch of clotheslines take Warlord down and it’s back to Shawn. Roma comes in with an elbow drop to the back of the head as Gorilla talks anatomy. Warlord comes in and backdrops Shawn before tagging out to Herc. Martel comes in just as fast and drops a knee for two. Roma sends Shawn into the corner and Shawn of course sells it like he’s dead. Martel’s shoulder hits the post and here’s Snuka again.

A flying headbutt to the standing Martel gets two, but Rick grabs a small package for the pin out of nowhere. Jake comes in again and Martel immediately runs and brings in Hercules. Roberts is getting frustrated because he can’t get his hands on Martel, but he still manages a knee lift and a failed DDT attempt. Jake starts pounding away on Herc and Martel clotheslines him down out of nowhere.

Roma comes in for some stomping but he misses a middle rope punch. There’s the hot tag to Shawn who suplexes Roma down and hits a middle rope elbow for two. Shawn does what he can but Hercules comes in off a blind tag and pounds away even more. Power and Glory hook up the Powerplex (superplex from Herc immediately followed by a top rope splash from Roma) eliminates Shawn and it’s 4-1. It’s Hercules in first but Jake is in trouble. Warlord comes in with a bearhug but Jake escapes and DDTs him out of nowhere. Jake says screw it and gets the snake out. He chases Martel to the back for the countout loss.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to see here but other than Jake vs. Martel, there was nothing here at all. To the best of my knowledge, Warlord and Snuka never interacted at all before or after this so they were just tacked on. The Rockers and Power and Glory had fought at Summerslam but that’s about it. The Visionaries are the first ever team to survive intact.

The Hulkamaniacs are ready for the Natural Disasters. This is a continuation of Hogan vs. Earthquake, with Hulk N Pals facing Earthquake and Jimmy Hart’s and Bobby Heenan’s cronies. Hogan says they can go get rid of Sadaam Hussein. This is during the Gulf War.

Natural Disasters vs. Hulkamaniacs

Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Haku, Barbarian
Hulk Hogan, Big Bossman, Tugboat, Jim Duggan

There’s some actual drama here as Hogan had never beaten Earthquake before this and the other guys balance out somewhat well. Haku vs. Duggan start us off as the announcers talk about the Grand Finale. It’s such a different time when they automatically know who is going to be on what side. Today you would be waiting on the swerve. Duggan pounds away on Haku and a clothesline gets two.

Bravo and Barbarian come in to get some shots but it’s quickly off to Boss Man vs. Haku. Haku dropkicks him down for two but the Boss Man Slam puts Haku out quick. Barbarian comes in next and Boss Man runs him over. Heenan gets taken off the apron and Boss Man punches Barbarian a bit before walking into a suplex. Barbie misses a middle rope elbow and it’s off to Duggan vs. Bravo. Scratch that as Earthquake makes a blind tag and crushes Duggan in the corner. Duggan keeps trying to knock Quake down but Jimmy low bridges him. Duggan brings the board in with him and hits Quake for the DQ.

It’s Hogan vs. Earthquake but Hulk beats up all three guys because he can. Hogan easily slams Earthquake and fires off ten punches in the corner. Quake comes back with a powerslam and tags in Bravo who stomps away before getting small packaged for the pin. There’s the tag to Boss Man who hits his rapid fire punches in the corner. Boss Man goes up for a cross body and oh my goodness Earthquake caught him. That is SCARY. Hogan shoves Boss Man on top of him for two but Barbarian kicks Boss Man in the back to put him down. An elbow from Earthquake eliminates Boss Man.

Hogan vs. Quake again and Hulk tries to drop the big guy. Hulk tries another slam but can’t get Quake up. The third attempt results in Quake falling on Hogan for two. Hulk avoids an elbow and there’s the tag to Tugboat, causing everyone to shout TOOOOT which sounds like booing. Hogan pulls Earthquake to the floor and Quake and Tugboat get counted out. That leaves Hogan vs. Barbarian and the only thing I can think to say is “really?” Barbarian goes after Hogan on the floor and doesn’t hit a piledriver well at all. It gets two and they clothesline each other. Barbarian hits the top rope clothesline, Hulk Up, legdrop, done.

Rating: C-. This was a lot more fast paced and energetic than you would expect. The continued practice of just teasing the encounter that the match is based on is getting REALLY old though as I guess they want to preserve the house show draws, because who would want to see a feud continue after a single match right? My goodness have things changed in the last twenty years.

Hogan beats up Heenan post match and poses. Piper cheering for Hogan is just wrong.

Some fans talk and get on my nerves. Well one fan signs who he likes which is cool.

Here’s Savage with something to say. He’s still the King at this point which has been going on for awhile. Savage doesn’t have a match tonight and he doesn’t like not being recognized as the future WWF Champion. He promises to take his title back from Warrior and talks about Sherri slapping The Ultimate Chicken a few times. There’s nothing of note here but it reinforced that they have issues. That’s something you never hear today: promos to just remind you that people don’t like each other.

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Nikolai Volkoff, Bushwhackers, Tito Santana
Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Orient Express

This is during the Iraqi Sympathizer period for Slaughter and the idea here is military themed. Before the match, Slaughter tells Gene about having a Thanksgiving dinner with the Mercenaries and not having to be inconvenienced by being in the desert. That’s better than being in the Army and eating K-Rations right? This was a pretty edgy angle at the time. Stupid but edgy. This interview is in the arena with the Mercenaries’ music playing. That must be a pretty dull period for the crowd.

The Bushwhackers torment Boris to start and the flying forearm from Tito eliminates him in about 20 seconds. Sato comes in and is accidentally superkicked by Tanaka. The Battering Ram puts out Sato and it’s 4-2 inside of two minutes. Tanaka comes in and the forearm from Tito makes it 4-1 in less than 2:15. Volkoff pounds on Slaughter with his usual stuff but gets punched in the face for his efforts as Slaughter takes over.

After a long beating, Slaughter eliminates Volkoff with an elbow. There were about three minutes of beating in between there but there was absolutely nothing of note to talk about. The Bushwhackers double team Sarge for a bit but Slaughter beats them down and gutbusts Luke for an elimination. A clothesline takes out Butch about 30 seconds later and it’s one on one.

Tito immediately dropkicks Slaughter into the post and things speed up with by far the two most talented guys in the match in there. Tito hits a top rope forearm for two and stomps away even faster. Piper is trying not to curse and Slaughter slams Santana’s head into the mat. A neckbreaker and backbreaker combine for two on Santana.

After some more beating, Tito gets a quick forearm attempt but hits the referee by mistake. The forearm hits the second time but General Adnan (Slaughter’s manager/boss) hits Santana with the flag and Slaughter puts on the Camel Clutch. The referee saw the flag though and it’s a DQ win for Tito.

Rating: D-. Well that…..happened I guess. They went through seven eliminations inside of eleven minutes and the match was awful. Basically this could have been Slaughter vs. either Volkoff or Santana and gotten the same payoff. I have no idea what they were going for here, but my guess is that they had nothing else to fill in fifteen minutes with (the show only runs two hours and twenty minutes and we’ve got the ultimate dumb filler to go).

DiBiase and the Visionaries say Warrior and Hogan (no mention of Santana) can’t work together. Sean says it’s going to be these five against Warrior and Santana.

It’s time for the Egg Hatching. Gene talks about the fans being hot tonight and the egg starts to hatch. There’s no way around this: it’s the Gobbledygooker, a humanoid turkey who square dances to Turkey in the Straw with Gene Okerlund, does a bunch of flips and is played by the WAY too talented for this Hector Guerrero.

The fans IMMEDIATELY start booing when it hatches, as there is absolutely no point to it. This was rumored to be anything from Undertaker to Flair (about a year early for him) to some Playboy chick. When you’re in a bad mood about being unemployed, remember that someone came up with this idea and was paid to do so. Total time spent on this: over seven minutes.

Hogan, Warrior and Santana are ready.

Hulk Hogan/Tito Santana/Ultimate Warrior vs. Ted DiBiase/Visionaries

If you can’t see the ending of this coming, just go click on something else now. Oddly enough, Hogan comes out before Tito. Tito and Warlord start and a forearm ends Warlord in less than 30 seconds. To update a reference for 2012, Tito is apparently the Ronda Rousey of the WWF. Roma immediately powerslams Tito and brings in DiBiase. My goodness a 20 minute Santana vs. DiBiase match would freaking rock. Tito misses another forearm and a hot shot gets the pin for DiBiase.

Hogan comes in and beats the tar out of DiBiase for a bit before ducking his head too early. A kick to Hogan’s face slows him down and it’s off to Hercules and almost immediately Roma for a top rope forearm for two. Back to Hercules who pounds away on Hulk even more, as does DiBiase. The Powerplex hits Hogan and has basically no effect. Roma is immediately pinned by a clothesline and it’s 3-2.

Martel comes in to beat on Hogan but gets kicked in the face. Off to Warrior who fires off a bunch of kicks in the corner and backdrops Martel. Rick tries to hit him in the head and boy are you really that dumb? Hogan knocks Martel to the floor and Rick walks off for the countout. Hogan beats on DiBiase a bit and there’s the legdrop. Warrior beats Hercules with the splash about 40 seconds later to win.

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of this? I mean……am I watching a house show? These are the kind of matches you hear about at the end of shows to send the fans home happy, not to main event a PPV. It was clear that this show wasn’t needed and that something had to be done.

Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show has some moments of ok, but can you imagine PAYING for this show? Undertaker debuts here but no one had any idea what that would mean. Nothing is changed at all, mainly because the company was afraid no one would want to see the house show matches after this. This show runs two hours and eighteen minutes and eight minutes of that are the Gobbledygooker. On top of that the main event runs about ten minutes in total counting entrances. You’re looking at about two hours for the non main event stuff and that’s ridiculous for a PPV. This is another show that doesn’t need to exist.

Ratings Comparison

Warriors vs. Perfect Team

Original: C-
Redo: D

Dream Team vs. Million Dollar Team

Original: C+
Redo: C+

Vipers vs. Visionaries

Original: D+
Redo: D+

Hulkamaniacs vs. Natural Disasters

Original: C+
Redo: C-

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Original: F
Redo: D-

Grand Finale Match of Survival

Original: D-
Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: F
Redo: F

It sucked four years ago and it still sucks now.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

Survivor Series Count-Up – 1990 (Original): A Turkey And An Undertaker Walk Into A Show…

 

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Summerslam 1990
Date: August 27, 1990
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 19,304
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

This is the requested redo for the year and I’m rather happy about that. I watched this show more times than I can count as a kid as it was the first wrestling show I had on video. I’ve seen it so many times that I can probably quote at least a bit of the commentary from every match and know most of the matches by heart so looking back at it should be fun. It’s a double main event as Hulk Hogan returns to face Earthquake and Ultimate Warrior defends the WWF Title against Rick Rude in a cage. Let’s get to it.

The opening video hypes up the show, including the main events. This gives us the classic 80s Vince McMahon hype voice and that is always going to work. At the end of the day, the guy is a promoter and a really good one.

Rockers vs. Power And Glory

Vince promises this this is going to be a HUMDINGER so you know he’s serious. Shawn comes to the ring so gingerly that you would think he had a bad knee and wasn’t ready to go here or something. Power And Glory, already in the ring, (it was a different time) jump Michaels before the bell and hit him in the knee with the chain to give him a reason to be down. Why is that so much to ask?

Roma hammers on Jannetty to start but Marty fights back with armdrags and dropkick (why yes, he is a face in a tag team). Slick (the evil, yet stylish) manager offers a distraction as Piper wants to know which one is the power and which is the glory. You mean him being named HERCULES isn’t a hint? Jannetty gets beaten down as Piper talks about Mick Jagger and David Bowie, perhaps missing the idea of the Rockers.

We pause to take out Michaels again as this continues to be a handicap, including a gorilla press to Jannetty. A small package doesn’t get Jannetty out of trouble as Roma comes back in and hits some backbreakers. Jannetty powerslams his way to freedom and hits the top rope fist drop (such a simple yet good looking finisher) with Hercules having to make a save. That’s finally enough as the PowerPlex puts Jannetty away at 5:59.

Rating: C. Kind of a weird way to start the show here but I do like the idea of just getting in and out without trying to do anything nuts. Power And Glory weren’t some great team but they could beat Marty in a handicap match. That’s all you had here and it went well enough, even if it was pretty clear that Shawn shouldn’t have been out there in the first place.

Post match Shawn gets in the ring and the big beatdown is on, with Marty trying to cover Shawn’s knee (another Jagger/Bowie reference from Piper). Of note: the VHS that I remember glitched at this point so I didn’t remember seeing the last minute and a half of the match until I was almost twenty years old. Shawn does a stretcher job and would be out of action for about a month and a half.

Mr. Perfect isn’t worried about facing the Texas Tornado on less than ten days’ notice, even if he knows almost nothing about Tornado. Bobby Heenan talks about how worthless Texas tornadoes are because you can see them coming a mile away. Then Perfect gets REALLY serious and says no one beats him.

The Texas Tornado promises to come out of the clouds and be powerful, unpredictable and devastating. Then he’ll go back into the clouds with the Intercontinental Title. For some reason, that one has always stuck with me, even if it isn’t very good.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado

Perfect, with Bobby Heenan, is defending. Of note: Tornado was in yellow trunks for the interview and is in white here so he doesn’t match Perfect’s yellow and blue singlet. The lockup goes to Tornado, who shoves him into the corner without much trouble. That’s enough to send Perfect outside, as commentary thinks they might be surprised by the strength. So they haven’t even looked at Tornado?

Back in and they circle each other a bit as Piper wants to know what Heenan knows about wrestling. A hard whip into the corner sets up a slam on Perfect and a clothesline puts him on the floor, with the required big bump from Perfect. Back in again and Perfect slugs his way out of a wristlock, setting up a sleeper. Some shots to the face in the corner don’t do much to Tornado, who catapults Perfect into the post and grabs the Claw. The Tornado Punch (HUGE bump from Perfect) connects for the pin and the title at 5:15.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much of a match as Tornado was a bit all over the place (shocking) and a lot of the stuff was rather basic. That being said, this was all about the surprise factor as Tornado gets the title almost immediately after debuting. Of note: for someone perfect, Perfect lost every pay per view match he had in 1990, though finishing as runner up in the Royal Rumble could have been worse.

Perfect staggers out of the arena in even more great selling.

In the back, Gene Okerlund can’t find Sweet Sapphire (uh oh) but Heenan and Perfect come in to rant about the bad refereeing. Tornado CHEATED by sending him into the post and now it’s time to pay. Well not now but in the near future, though that might qualify as semantics.

Sweet Sapphire vs. Sensational Queen Sherri

Sherri has a huge mask on which absolutely TERRIFIED me as a kid. And there’s no Sapphire, despite the music playing multiple times. That’s going to be a thirty second countdown forfeit and no match. Granted the fact that Sherri was in a full length dress makes me wonder what she was exactly planning for this one anyway. Commentary is very confused by Sapphire’s whereabouts.

Dusty Rhodes is in the back and says he doesn’t know where Sapphire is either as she disappeared ten minutes after they arrived. No one has seen her and he is rather worried. Cue Jim Duggan for a rather random cameo, saying everyone is still looking for Sapphire. With Duggan gone, Dusty says that Sapphire is getting a lot of really expensive gifts but that isn’t his business. GEE, I WONDER WHO IN THE WWF IS RICH ENOUGH TO SEND HER THOSE PRESENTS!

Tito Santana vs. Warlord

Slick is here with Warlord and Piper promises to not make a bunch of taco jokes about Santana. A headlock doesn’t work for Santana to start but a dropkick manages to put Warlord down. Back up and Santana looks to load up a hurricanrana (not quite in 1990) so he can hammer away to knock Warlord outside.

That’s fine with Warlord, who drives him back first into the post, allowing Slick to stalk him with a shoe (yes a shoe). The slow forearms keep Santana down until he gets a boot up in the corner to slow Warlord down. The flying forearm rocks Warlord but he gets the foot on the rope at the last minute. Warlord blocks a monkey flip out of the corner though and a running powerslam finishes at 5:28.

Rating: C. This is a fine example of a power vs. speed match and Santana knows how to do that as well as anyone else from this era. Let Santana go out there and run around while Warlord uses his power game in short spurts. It is a formula that has worked forever and it worked well enough here, even in a short form match.

Survivor Series is coming. That’s the Undertaker debut show, which always blows my mind. Look at this card and consider that three months later, you would have someone who has faced Rusev and AJ Styles.

Demolition, all three of them, won’t say which two of them will be facing the Hart Foundation. Hint: it’s probably the two holding the belts here. Either way, they aren’t worried about facing the Legion of Doom after this, because they’re just a bunch of impostors. This was just after Crush was added to the team so Ax could be written out due to what was thought to be a heart problem. In reality it was a bad allergic reaction to some kind of shellfish (not a joke) and he was fine soon enough.

Tag Team Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Demolition

Demolition (Crush/Smash) are defending in a 2/3 falls match and we cut to the back where the Harts say they’re a bit surprised. They promise to win the titles because they are two Harts beating as one (always loved that line). Bret and Smash start but Neidhart comes in to knock an interfering Crush outside. Smash gets taken down into an armbar but knocks him away without much trouble, allowing Crush to come in instead.

Crush pulls a crossbody out of the air and slams Bret down but charges into a boot in the corner. It’s off to Neidhart vs. Smash, with the former getting kicked in the back by Crush (that cheater). A clothesline out of the corner gives Neidhart a breather and he hands it back to Bret, which seems rather quick after Bret took a good bit longer beating.

Everything breaks down and Demolition is sent into each other so Crush falls outside. The backbreaker and middle rope elbow get two on Smash, with Crush dropping a leg for the save. With Neidhart down on the floor, the Demolition Decapitator finishes Bret for the first fall at 6:19.

Bret and Crush start the second fall and a choke shove drops Bret fast. The neck crank goes on for a bit but Bret is back up with the Hart Attack clothesline (minus the whole Hart Attack thing). The hot tag bring in Neidhart (despite Crush holding Bret’s leg) for the house cleaning on Smash. There’s the powerslam for two and everything breaks down with the Hart Attack hitting Smash.

Crush DIVES over and grabs the referee, who he carries around the ring. Believe it or not, yes that is a DQ and we’re died up at 10:40 (total). Why in the world wouldn’t you just break up the cover there? That doesn’t exactly make Crush look smart but Demolition was never the brightest team.

The third fall begins so here is Ax to hide underneath the ring like a villain should. Bret comes back with a sunset flip on Smash, followed by Neidhart powerslamming Bret onto him (that was awesome) for two. Then we get to the “REALLY?” part of the match as Ax switches with Smash (ignore the referee WATCHING HIM COME OUT FROM UNDER THE RING) and starts hammering away. Even when I was three years old, I never got how this was supposed to make sense (Smash’s face paint was even wiped off and Ax’s was fresh).

Smash comes back out to double team Bret but cue the Legion of Doom to pull Ax from under the ring and break up another Demolition Decapitator. Neidhart slingshot shoulder blocks Crush into a cradle from Bret for the pin and the titles at 15:50 in one of the all time great feel good moments.

Rating: B+. A lot of this is nostalgia but I LOVE this match and always have. What I didn’t get when I was a kid was that this was the culmination of a years long quest for the Harts to get the titles back and prove that they could do it without Jimmy Hart. The win felt like it meant something (Vince’s call is perfect as you can feel him get happy on saying THREE) and it still holds up to this day. Heck of a match, but this was more about the emotion and it worked great.

Wrestlemania VII ad. I can still remember the phone number.

The Legion of Doom is happy because they have been waiting on Demolition. What a rush….for them. The Harts come in and say they’ll fight anyone anytime anywhere no matter the odds. Quite the emotional burst there.

Sean Mooney is outside of Demolition’s locker room where you can hear them ranting and raving about the Legion of Doom.

Queen Sherri brags about her win over Sapphire and laughs off the idea that there were “early sightings” of her earlier today. Sherri: “WHAT IS SHE: A UFO???” On top of that, Sherri has heard rumors about Sapphire that makes her think Sapphire might be the smartest person around here. Sherri: “THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!!!”

Five minute intermission, thankfully without the countdown graphic included.

Gene Okerlund runs down the rest of the card and we see one of Bad News Browns’ Harlem sewer rats.

Damien, Jake Roberts’ snake, is in the shower.

Big Boss Man, who is guest referee for Brown vs. Roberts for no explained reason, doesn’t mind snakes or rats.

Nikolai Volkoff, now very pro-America, is glad to be in a tag team with Jim Duggan. Volkoff describes Duggan as his idol and calls the team the American Express (as opposed to the Orient Express you see).

Earthquake, with Dino Bravo and Jimmy Hart, is ready to crush Hulk Hogan for good, just like he did to Tugboat. He might as well crush Big Boss Man as well! Bravo promises to take care of the Boss Man while Hart promises a double stretcher job. Earthquake also brings up Tugboat asking fans to send Hogan cards and letters to make him feel better.

1. That was designed to replenish the WWF’s mailing list.

2. Each fan reportedly got a note signed (well, “signed” but close enough) by Hogan thanking them for their prayers.

3. That’s brilliant, and it’s the same thing the WWF did when the Islanders dognapped Matilda a few years earlier.

Jake Roberts is ready to turn Bad News Brown into a mouse.

A good chunk of these promos were not on the home video, likely for time.

Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

Big Boss Man is guest referee and the fight starts before he gets to the ring. Jake tries a very early DDT but Brown slips out and kicks Jake down. Another DDT attempt doesn’t work and they head outside, where Brown hits him in the ribs with a chair. That’s good for a warning from Boss Man and Brown stomps away back inside. Roberts fights back with the snap jabs and the fans are already wanting the DDT. Brown counters it a third time, which Piper attributed to an oily head. More pounding on the floor ensues and that’s enough to get Brown disqualified at 4:48.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as it felt like a match they advertised and then forgot to do anything which, which didn’t make it much better. Throw in the Boss Man as the tacked on referee and there was only so much to get out of something like this. It just wasn’t very good and I’m not sure what they thought they had here.

Post match Brown goes to drop a leg on Damien but Boss Man makes the save. Brown beats on Boss Man but Jake grabs Damien and clears the ring, sending Brown out of the WWF for good. The rats were never seen, save for a closed crate at ringside.

Demolition rants about the numbers game in their match and swears vengeance, first on the Legion of Doom and then on the Harts.

It’s time for Brother Love, who scared the heck out of me when I was a kid (and in modern times, scares me for entirely different reasons). Love asks if kids remember being told what to do when they were younger. Now they still need someone to do that because they are soft and weak. His guest is the man who can tell you what to do so here is Sgt. Slaughter. Er, make that DRILL Sgt. Slaughter this time.

Slaughter has been looking around and wants to find a great American. That’s what he has found here, which is why he has The Great American Award for Brother Love. That makes him think of Nikolai Volkoff, who suddenly loves America. Slaughter isn’t happy with that and declares war on Volkoff, because America has gone soft. If Saddam Hussein (or “who’s on” as Slaughter pronounces it) declared war on us tomorrow our boys would be destroyed. Saluting ensues, as we have a new top heel.

Mr. Fuji and the Orient Express are ready for their match but we cut to Gene Okerlund, who has found Sapphire….who goes into a room and locks the door behind her. Nice one Gene.

Orient Express vs. Jim Duggan/Nikolai Volkoff

Piper doesn’t quite buy the idea of Duggan and Volkoff being that bright. Before the match, Duggan and Volkoff belt out God Bless America, because of course they do. Duggan says God bless the troops and the Express attacks, only to be knocked outside without much trouble. The villains come back in with Tanaka bouncing off of Volkoff (Piper: “Yep, real dumb.”). The US chants are on as Volkoff shrugs off a shot to the throat and brings Duggan in to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Express is sent into each other, setting up the three point clothesline to finish Tanaka at 3:22.

Rating: D+. This was little more than a debut squash for Duggan and Volkoff and that is fine, though seeing the Express lose so quickly despite having some awesome matches with the Rockers was a little weird. It wasn’t bad for a match there to play off of current events but it was fine for a quick one. As long as the WWF doesn’t think Duggan and Volkoff are a big deal, it doesn’t mean much.

Dusty Rhodes can’t get into Sapphire’s dressing room and has to go to the ring for his match. He’ll be back.

Sean Mooney, standing on a ladder, talks to Randy Savage, who thinks the rumors about Sapphire are true. Savage talks about how the Founding Fathers weren’t thinking about people like Dusty when they talked about the American Dream and this is a grave situation. Speaking of graves, the ring is where Macho is going to bury Dusty so DOWN THAT AISLE! Savage was kind of feeling it here.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Savage

This is Macho King (with Queen Sherri) and Dusty is as serious as he has been in his WWF run. Hold on though as here is Ted DiBiase (with Virgil) on the platform to say his money can buy anyone or anything. He brings out Sapphire with a bag full of money (the trip around the world and the Cadillac seem more valuable, though I’d love one of those WWF gym bags) and talks about how money will get you whatever you want.

Dusty goes after them but Savage jumps him from behind. They head inside and the fight is on, with Dusty getting in some shots of his own. Savage is knocked outside and hides behind Sherri, who sneaks him the loaded purse. One shot is enough to knock Dusty cold for the pin at 2:14.

In the back, Ted DiBiase, Virgil and Sapphire leave in the limousine, with Dusty Rhodes giving chase to no avail. That always made me sad as it was a rare instance of evil flat out winning and Dusty not being able to do anything about it.

Hulk Hogan and the Big Boss Man are ready for revenge on Earthquake. They dedicate the match to Tugboat and quite the beating that goes with the match.

Earthquake vs. Hulk Hogan

Jimmy Hart, Dino Bravo and Big Boss Man are here too and make no mistake about it: this is the show’s real main event. Feeling out process to start and we get the big shove off out of the lockup. That does not great for Hogan and far better for Earthquake, with Hogan dropping backwards. After a quick chat with Boss Man on the floor, Hogan slugs away and tries a slam, only to hurt his back (it worked in the Andre match).

Some right hands and chops stagger Earthquake (and drop Bravo/Hart) until a big right hand puts Earthquake down. Everyone heads outside where the seconds get involved, including going inside. A double big boot drops Bravo and another one knocks Earthquake into the ropes as Piper wonders what the referee is thinking. The referee gets Boss Man out so Bravo and Earthquake can hit a double slam on Hogan.

The big elbow gives Earthquake two and we hit a Boston crab, which is quite the visual. Hogan tries to power out but for once gets smart and grabs the rope right next to him (you could tell things were different in 1990, as Hogan using a ROPE to escape is just hard to fathom). Bravo gets in a slam on the floor but Earthquake misses another big elbow. The slam still doesn’t work for Hogan as Earthquake crashes onto him for two more to bang up the ribs even more.

We hit the bearhug (required) but Hogan fights out and tries…..a crossbody???? What the heck man? Either way, Earthquake powerslams him down and hits the Earthquake. Then he does it again and I think you know what that means. The comeback is on, complete with the slam working this time. There’s the legdrop but Bravo offers a distraction and Hart comes in to jump Hogan. Everything breaks down and it heads to the floor, where Hogan slams Earthquake onto (not through) a table and that’s enough for the count at 13:12. Hogan jumping up and down in celebration always looked weird.

Rating: C+. I love Hogan but the magic was starting to fade. You can tell that there is a lot going on here to try to keep the energy up, but Hogan just isn’t as special as he once was. At the same time, the countout was lame and while Hogan slammed him, it was hardly some big win. They build Earthquake up very well, but there is only so much that can be done when he’s Hogan’s rebound feud.

Post match the beatdown is on with Earthquake choking Hogan. Boss Man hits Earthquake in the back with a metal stool and just annoys him, allowing Bravo to come in as well. In a great visual, Boss Man whips out the nightstick and is ready to go, which is enough for Earthquake and Bravo to bail. Hogan poses (after suggesting that Earthquake is a chicken) but Piper doesn’t think Hogan won anything with the countout. Two things.

1. Piper getting on Hogan just feels right.

2. I know it’s for the house show rematches, but dang that countout always felt kind of lame.

Rick Rude, now short haired and serious, promise to win the WWF Title in the cage tonight and get his statue outside of the Spectrum next to Rocky Balboa. Bobby Heenan explains the idea of a cage match and promises no sequels. Rude: “And there ain’t gonna be no rematch!” I didn’t know that was a Rocky reference until YEARS later. Of note: Heenan started this promo by saying “he’s going to get that Intercontinental Title back”, which is the kind of thing that he would be saying because he could do more than one thing at a time.

Dusty Rhodes is fine with Sapphire taking the money because he offered up his innocence to her and she paid him back in scorn (he used that line a lot in his career and I’m still not sure I get what it means). Now the fans are asking when he’s going to get mad and even. He’s coming for Ted DiBiase because….America can give him shelter from the storm? Ok then.

Lord Alfred Hayes explains how the cage is built for the main event.

Hulk Hogan talks about how there are new buildings being built around the world and they are all earthquake proof. Hogan is going to take that big fat dude (his words) around the world and beat him over and over until he is the #1 contender. That’s not how you usually become #1 contender. Anyway, Hogan has a fourth demandment: believe in yourself. For now though, he going to get a new nine foot surfboard (or gun as he calls it) and go to the beach to chase sharks, at least until he finds that TITLE wave. Then he pretends he’s on a motorcycle and rides backwards out of frame. Hogan was a weird dude.

With welts on his back, Earthquake promises that it isn’t over with Hulk Hogan and promises more pain next time. Dino Bravo and Jimmy Hart rant a lot too.

Ultimate Warrior: “Do you know what Bobby Heenan has in common with the Liberty Bell? One is cracked and the other is a ding dong.” Would that be Ding or Dong? A lot of Founding Father references are made with Warrior promising to beat Rick Rude. The idea of the match is that Rude beat Warrior back at Wrestlemania V (which is never mentioned by name) so he could do it again here. In short, it didn’t work and this is a really lame main event as a result.

WWF Title: Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior

Rude is challenging in a cage and they start fighting on top of the cage. Warrior knocks him down and hits a top rope ax handle to take over, setting up the ram into the cage. Another ram into the cage drops Warrior and Rude goes up, where he has to kick Warrior away. For some reason Rude comes back down and keeps stomping away but it’s too early for the Rude Awakening.

Warrior knocks him down but the splash hits knees, allowing Rude to hit the Rude Awakening. For no adequately explained reason, Rude goes up to the top of the cage for a right hand to the head. He STILL won’t cover so he goes up again (Heenan: “WHERE ARE YOU GOING???”) and gets punched out of the air this time.

Warrior goes for the door and gets it slammed on his head for two, as this just keeps going. Rude goes for the door as well but gets pulled back in, with the tights coming down in the process. This time Warrior pulls Heenan in and knocks him down, followed by an atomic drop out the door. Some clotheslines into the gorilla press lets Warrior escape (complete with hip swivel) to retain at 10:01.

Rating: D+. Not only was it a completely nothing match, but it was a match that didn’t stick around for very long. In this case that might be a good thing though, as Rude was a lame duck of a challenger as you could have. There was no one for Warrior to face and it showed badly, making this a pretty weak main event. It might have worked as a quick house show main event, but (allegedly) headlining Summerslam? Not quite.

Warrior celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Nostalgia plays a big role in this one but it’s actually a rather good show. They keep things moving and important things take place, including Hogan’s return and two title changes. It’s still the very tail end of the Golden Era and now things can move forward into the new era. It’s not a classic show, but it is a lot of fun and certainly memorable (at least for me), which is something I’ll take every time.

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All American Wrestling
Date: April 8, 1990
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Bobby Heenan, Gorilla Monsoon, Hillbilly Jim
Hosts: Gene Okerlund, Hillbilly Jim

This popped on my YouTube recommendations and I can always go for some 1990 WWF. We are a week removed from Wrestlemania but it’s hard to say how much of this was taped in advance. If there is a studio portion, I’m sure we’ll hear all about it between a parade of squashes. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Gene Okerlund and Hillbilly Jim welcome us to the show and tell us about the Ultimate Warrior winning the WWF Title. Jim insists that Hulkamania will live forever though. They run down the card and we’re ready to go.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Don Stevens

Commentary goes over Dusty’s various careers, with Vince mentioning that Dusty was a “son of a plumber.” A dropkick and suplex set up a chinlock, followed by the big elbow to finish Stevens at 2:08.

The hosts talk about Wrestlemania VI and Hillbilly Jim’s hair. Because reasons.

House show ads, which are always cool to see.

SPECIAL REPORT!

Ultimate Warrior beat Hulk Hogan to win the WWF Title at Wrestlemania VI and we see some still shots. They make sure to clarify that Hogan is STILL awesome. Of note: we’re told that Jack Tunney will NOT sanction a rematch because it would be too physically grueling on both of them. That’s quite a nice way to cover up why Hogan never got a rematch, though you would think it would have been mentioned more often.

Orient Express vs. Omar Atlas/Paul Roma

Mr. Fuji is here with the Express, who clear the ring rather quickly. We settle down to Atlas in trouble as we get an insert promo from Fuji about how the Express will destroy anyone. Kato strikes away and Tanaka comes back in for a spinning forearm. A backbreaker/top rope ax handle combination finishes Atlas at 3:17.

Rating: C-. Total destruction here and it’s kind of interesting that Roma was in this spot just a few months before Power & Glory started up. The Express was a weird situation as they had all kinds of talent and could have a nice match with anyone (their stuff with the Rockers was great) but they never got above the midcard. It’s a shame as they could have been better, but they never got the chance.

Wrestlemania VII will (not) be at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum!

Warlord vs. Ricky Ataki

Warlord debuts Slick as his new manager and drops Ataki with a flying shoulder. A clothesline puts Ataki on the floor and there’s a suplex to drop him again. We get a quick Slick/Warlord inset interview with Slick being happy about his new acquisition. Warlord finishes with a running powerslam at 2:34. Nice squash.

We go to Madison Square Garden, seemingly on October 28, 1989.

Dino Bravo vs. Bret Hart

We’re joined in progress with Bret in trouble on the floor and having his already banged up chest knocked into the barricade. Back in and Bravo grabs the reverse chinlock before sending Bret right back to the floor. A sunset flip gives Bret two and but Bravo is right back with the bearhug.

They even drop to their knees for a bit in a weird spot before Bret bites his way to freedom. The bearhug goes right back on though and this time it’s a series of elbows to break it up. A suplex drops Bravo and Bret starts the comeback, including dropping an elbow for two. The backbreaker sets up the middle rope elbow but the time expires at 8:46 shown for the 20:00 draw (which was actually about 18:40).

Rating: C-. That wasn’t exactly great as it was mainly spent on the bearhug and Hart having to fight out of trouble. Then the ending came out of nowhere, which granted might have had something to do with showing about nine minutes of the match. These two fought quite a bit but I’m not sure I’ve ever seen them have a good one, so this wasn’t a surprise.

We go to the Brother Love Show, with the Bushwhackers as this week’s guests. Love laughs at them about Rhythm and Blues attacking them recently, sending Butch into a rant about how IT’S NOT FUNNY WHEN SOMEONE GETS HIT WITH A GUITAR. Butch threatens Love, who runs off to end a rather nothing segment, save for butch losing his mind.

Earthquake vs. Jim Gorman

Earthquake has Jimmy Hart with him and promises to hurt Hulk Hogan. The powerslam, a top rope chop to the head, and the Earthquake finishes Gorman at 1:37.

Post match Earthquake crushes him two more times and Gorman leaves on a stretcher.

House show ads.

Jim Duggan vs. Black Bart

Duggan works on the arm to start and sends him into the corner for a clothesline. The three point clothesline finishes Bart at 2:34. Duggan continues to be goofy fun and that would be the case forever.

Barbarian, with Bobby Heenan, says this is his year. Heenan says they’re coming for the good guys.

Jimmy Snuka says his mind is clean and he loves competition.

Gene thinks there are animals in Jim’s beard to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There’s nothing much to the show but that’s kind of the point. This was about getting people on the show and mentioning some of the things they were doing. Granted in this case you had Wrestlemania fallout so there was quite a bit to cover from the biggest show of the year. I could go for some more like this, as it’s quick and easy while showcasing a lot of the talent of the era.

 

 

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Wrestlemania VI
Date: April 1, 1990
Location: Skydome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 67,678
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

This year’s main event, billed as the Ultimate Challenge, is more than enough to carry the show. It’s title for title with Hogan’s WWF World and Warrior’s Intercontinental Titles both on the line in one of the only times that Hogan would lower himself to go after the midcard title. There’s nothing else on this card worth mentioning so let’s get to it.

The opening video is a really cool concept as it shows Hogan and Warrior as constellations in the sky. They’re the most powerful forces in the universe and they face off tonight. I’ve always liked that.

Robert Goulet sings O Canada for a change of pace from the previous years.

The arena looks much brighter and more modern this year. It’s a striking change.

Koko B. Ware vs. Rick Martel

The ring carts are back for unfortunately their final appearance. This should be an interesting dynamic as Martel is from Canada (though that might not be very well known here and he’s billed from Florida) but is a heel now, as well as a model. We actually get an old school weapons check but Martel jumps Ware like a true villain should. Koko’s middle rope cross body gets two and things speed way up. A backdrop and clothesline send Martel outside but he comes back in and throws Martel over the top. See, real Canadians only need one move where Americans need two. It’s a patriotism thing.

Back in and we get a light BORING chant. Come on people we’re not even ten minutes in. Martel gets two off a suplex and starts in on the back to set up his Boston crab. Koko shrugs off a ram into the buckle and starts back with shoulders and dropkicks. No one ever accused him of having a complex offense. Ware tries another cross body out of the corner but Martel is ready for him this time. I love it when someone learns during a match. The Boston crab makes Koko give up at 5:30.

Rating: D+. Pretty nothing match here and another odd choice for an opener. It’s not a good sign when they’re already into the filler matches and we’re only a single match into the show. Martel was fine for a midcarder who could work a good match and Koko could fire up a crowd but this was a glorified squash for Rick.

Gene refers to the Colossal Connection (Andre the Giant and Haku, the Tag Team Champions) as the Colostomy Connection. Heenan: “Well if you want to talk evacuation…” Basically the champs are ready for their rematch with Demolition. Gene: “The Colossal Connection: they’re anything but regular guys.”

Ax says he wants to chop Andre down and shout TIMBER! That’s not bad, but Smash wants to throw Andre in the back of a semitrailer and drive him off a cliff. Sean Mooney: “This is starting to sound like a demolition derby!” Ax: “Now you’re getting the idea.”

Tag Team Titles: Demolition vs. Colossal Connection

The Connection is defending but don’t even get an entrance. It’s a brawl to start and the champs take over until it settles down to Smash vs. Haku. This goes better for Demolition as Smash wins a slugout and brings in Ax, who makes the mistake of taunting Andre. Well to be fair he might have just wanted a Machines reunion (Ax had been one of the Machines back in 1986 when Andre was suspended).

Andre’s interference actually doesn’t get them very far though so it’s Haku poking Smash in the eye to take over. A nice thrust to the throat puts Ax down and Haku hits a backbreaker to keep him in trouble. Andre sneaks in a headbutt (how can a giant sneak in anything?) to give Haku a near fall and a thumb to the eye stops Ax’s comeback. We get a wide shot of the arena and as usual it’s quite the visual. It’s off to the nerve hold but Smash makes the mistake of trying to come in, allowing Andre to choke with the tag rope in the corner.

There’s a shoulder breaker for two but Haku charges into a raised boot in the corner. The hot tag brings in Smash and the fans are way behind this. Something like a cross body/ax handle get two for Smash and a double clothesline puts Andre down in the corner. Haku superkicks Andre by mistake to tie him up in the ropes, setting up the Decapitator to give Demolition the titles back at 9:15. Andre was never legally in the match.

Rating: C+. I had a good time with this and the fans were WAY into Demolition, even though this was pretty much their last hurrah. Andre was beyond a shell of himself at this point and it was sad to see him just standing on the apron and getting in a shot where he could. This would also be his last televised match in the WWF and that’s probably best for everyone all around.

Post match Heenan loses his mind and blames Andre for the loss, poking him in the chest, dropping audible F bombs, and SLAPPING ANDRE IN THE FACE. Jesse and Gorilla think Heenan is about to die and Andre knocks him silly with a right hand. Haku’s superkick is easily caught and Andre beats him up too. Heenan and Haku try to get on the cart but Andre pulls them off and beats them up again before taking the cart for himself in one last face turn for the road.

A new monster called Earthquake (6’8 and 468lbs, he’s from Canada and was called Canadian Earthquake until this show for obvious reasons) and his manager Jimmy Hart predict an earthquake right here in Toronto. Earthquake promises that Hercules will feel the tremors.

Earthquake vs. Hercules

Earthquake’s sneak attack doesn’t work and Hercules hammers away with left hands before dodging a charge in the corner. Back in and Earthquake asks for a test of strength which might actually work for him. Neither guy can get the advantage so Hercules tries some shoulders and the big guy (as opposed to the guy who isn’t 6’1 and 270lbs) is staggered. Like a moron, Hercules tries the backbreaker, meaning a torture rack, and Earthquake elbows him in the back of the head. The Earthquake splash (running sitdown splash) is enough to pin Hercules at 4:53.

Rating: D. No one ever accused Hercules of being smart but come on now with that backbreaker attempt. Hercules would be moved into a heel tag team soon after this and that was certainly better for everyone involved. He played his role well enough and was a good choice for a midcard power wrestler.

Earthquake gives him another splash for good measure. Hercules becomes one of the first victims to not leave on a stretcher.

Celebrity gossip columnist Rona Barrett (they’re REALLY stretching for celebrities now) interviews Elizabeth and asks where she’s been. Basically Elizabeth has been gone for most of the year, save for a few appearances here and there. She says if she comes back, it will be in a much more physical role.

Brutus Beefcake is looking at Mr. Perfect’s record and sees that it’s really impressive. No one is perfect though and that record isn’t going to look as good after their match.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

Perfect now has The Genius (Randy Savage’s real life brother Lanny Poffo, a talented wrestler in his own right) as his manager. Jesse: “I can’t lose in Hollywood. I’ve got Paul Newman’s eyes, Kurt Douglas’ chin and Robert Duvall’s haircut.” This is a result of Beefcake beating Genius at the Royal Rumble and then getting attacked by Mr. Perfect, which the fans are just expected to know because it’s not mentioned by the commentators. They slug it out in the corner to start until Beefcake knocks him out to the floor. Back in and Brutus atomic drops him right back to the floor.

It’s time to start working on Perfect’s back with some hard whips for the awesome selling. We see TV legend Mary Tyler Moore in the front row, making this show a hundred times classier. Genius gets on the apron for a distraction and drops his metal scroll so Perfect can knock him out. The neck snap gets a slow two as it’s time to talk about Mr. Perfect’s dad Larry Hennig, who even Gorilla sounds scared of. Beefcake grabs Perfect’s ankle ala Hogan before catapulting Perfect face first into the post, ala almost every match Perfect ever has, for the big surprise pin at 7:47.

Rating: C. It was better than Beefcake’s match last year but that was a really sudden ending, especially for Perfect’s first televised loss. Perfect was in a weird spot at this point as he clearly wasn’t a World Title contender but he wasn’t around the Intercontinental Title picture yet. Brutus continues to be more charisma than ability and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Post match Brutus puts Genius to sleep and cuts his hair to really end this feud.

Clip from the Royal Rumble of Roddy Piper and Bad News Brown eliminating each other and brawling to the back. Then Brown called it a skirt and you know it’s on.

Here’s the infamous part of this show as we get an interview from Roddy Piper, who is in half blackface. The white side is Hot Rod and the black side is Hot Scot. I think this was supposed to be a Michael Jackson thing (he even does a little Billie Jean) but it’s far more bizarre than anything else. Piper says he has a big mouth and Brown has bug eyes.

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

The bell rings and let’s look at the crowd for the first twenty seconds or so. Piper dances a lot and they start grappling as this is another brawl instead of a match. The referee splits them up and Piper gets two off a cross body in probably the only wrestling move of the match. Brown starts punching and knocks Piper out of the corner before stopping for a nerve hold.

An elbow gets two for Brown but Roddy goes Three Stooges by poking him in the eye. The referee checks on Piper for something, allowing Brown to expose the buckle. Piper puts on a glove (more Michael Jackson stuff) and a bunch of right hands have Brown in trouble. They fight to the floor where Brown punches the post. Piper misses a chair shot though and it’s a double countout at 6:47.

Rating: C. This was a nutty brawl but everyone remembers the body paint instead of the match and that’s probably what Piper was shooting for. It’s not a good match or anything but it’s still entertaining and that’s something this show has been needing. Brown was an untapped talent but his character was years ahead of its time and didn’t really fit in the early 90s. Put him in the Attitude Era as an angry MMA character and it would have been gold.

They fight to the back as security can’t break it up.

Steve Allen (comedian and former host of the Tonight Show) is in the shower with his piano to play the Russian national anthem. After a few joke tries to get on the Bolsheviks’ nerves, he promises one from Mother Russia but a toilet flushes instead. Eh cute enough.

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

The Russians try to sing but get jumped, setting up the Hart Attack for the pin on Boris at 18 seconds for a new Wrestlemania record. The fans love it and the Harts are ready to challenge Demolition.

Wrestlemania VII is coming to the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum! No it isn’t but at least the ad was energetic.

Tito Santana vs. Barbarian

Santana is back to where he was before Strike Force which is probably best for everyone involved. Barbarian has Heenan in his corner. Jesse’s suggestion for Tito: give Barbarian one of his enchiladas and win by countout two minutes into the match. After Barbarian takes an early break on the floor he has to kick out of a cross body at two. Tito tries what looked to be a hurricanrana but opts to punch Barbarian down instead of flipping him over.

Barbarian kicks him in the face and hits a shoulder breaker but misses a middle rope elbow. Some dropkicks and a middle rope ax handle won’t put Barbarian down so Tito blasts him with the flying forearm. Heenan gets the foot on the rope though and offers a distraction leading to Barbarian decapitating Tito with a top rope clothesline for the pin at 4:33.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen worse than this but it still wasn’t much more than a Superstars main event. I don’t think anyone saw Barbarian as anything more than a midcard act but that’s why you bring in someone like Tito. If nothing else, that clothesline from Barbarian made the match worth its time.

We recap Randy Savage/Queen Sherri vs. Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire in a battle of royalty (Savage had won the crown late last year and had debuted Sherri as his Queen) vs. the common people (Dusty was known as the Common Man and Sapphire was his dancing manager). This started back on the Brother Love Show at the Royal Rumble where Love had insulted Sapphire and praised Sherri, triggering a brawl between then. The guys got involved and now we’re going to have the first mixed tag match in company history.

Dusty and Sapphire say they’ve got the crown jewel to deal with the King and Queen.

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Queen Sherri

The genders have to match here. Savage is now in the long tights that he would wear for the rest of his career. Before the match, Dusty unveils the crown jewel as Miss Elizabeth to send Savage through the roof. Savage and Dusty start and Jesse begs the cameras not to film from behind Sapphire. Dusty throws Sherri at Savage and it’s off to Sapphire, who certainly isn’t a wrestler but does a decent airplane spin. Sherri smacks her in the face but can’t get a slam. It’s back to the guys and Dusty is kneed out to the floor so Sherri can get in a right hand.

There’s the ax handle from Savage but Sapphire gets in the way of a second. Jesse: “NAIL HER MACHO!” Ventura almost gets his wish as Savage shoves her down before throwing Dusty back inside. Sherri distracts the referee so Savage can get in a scepter shot to the back (Jesse: “DING!”).

Sherri’s top rope splash gets two on Rhodes as the rules are thrown out the window. Sapphire comes back in again (Jesse: “She’s a little bottom heavy isn’t she?”) and throws Sherri to the floor but Elizabeth throws her right back in. Everything breaks down again and Sherri reaches for Liz, only to get shoved into a rollup from Sapphire for the pin at 7:31.

Rating: C-. The match was bad but it was more than entertaining enough to get by. Dusty was the kind of guy who could make anything entertaining and his chemistry with Savage was always fantastic. It’s not a good match or anything but it’s the kind of entertainment that works just well enough to get by.

Dusty, Sapphire and Elizabeth dance. This was one of Elizabeth’s final appearances for a long time.

Intermission time.

Wrestlemania VII ad.

Gene is with Bobby and compares him to a visiting mother in law. Heenan rants about Andre turning on the family. Gene: “Where do you have the ba…..the nerve to slap Andre the Giant?” Heenan says he’s starting a new Heenan Family with members who will listen.

Rona Barrett implies she has an adult video of Jesse but it’s not allowed to be shown. This is never mentioned again.

Savage says he and Sherri aren’t done with Dusty and Elizabeth.

Demolition is ready for the Hart Foundation.

Jesse and Gorilla throw it back to ringside but it’s off to a Hogan interview instead. That’s a rare miss for Gorilla. Or it’s an edit.

Hogan talks about arriving in Toronto and how tonight could be the final night of Warrior’s life if he breathes his final breath into Hulk’s body. He can save the Warrior and his Little Warriors from the darkness and bring them into the light. That covers his annual “I can save your soul” line but it reached a new level of insanity, even for him. Hogan makes sure to point out that it doesn’t matter whether you win or whether you lose, which pretty much spoiled the ending.

Warrior throws Sean Mooney out of his locker room because he doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air that Warrior and Hogan breathe. The Warriors have been questioning where Hulk Hogan is taking them and perhaps he should step into the darkness. The darkness is nothing to fear because Hogan has lived the last five Wrestlemanias to reach this moment.

Warrior comes not to destroy Hulkamania but to bring the Warriors and Hulkamaniacs together as one. The strength of the Hulkamaniacs is coming through the pores of his skin. He has come to do no one no harm but to take what they both believe in to places it shall never have been. Uh…..yeah that’s what I was thinking too.

Rockers vs. Orient Express

The Express is Sato and Tanaka, a Japanese team (Tanaka was from Hawaii but it’s an old wrestling trope) and this could be very entertaining stuff. Tanaka superkicks Marty to start but a quick powerslam is enough to bring Shawn in for some patented double teaming. The Rockers hit stereo planchas to the floor and the fans are right back into this.

Back in and Fuji low bridges Marty to the floor with his cane (some things never change) and the villains take over. Some double stomping have Marty in even more trouble and it’s time for martial arts. Marty lands on his feet out of a backdrop though and brings in Shawn for a (mostly missed) double superkick. To be fair the Rockers are probably hung over again as they so often were.

Tanaka cheats from the apron and it’s a big flying forearm to put Shawn down again. It’s time for the traditional Japanese nerve hold from Sato but a clothesline gets Shawn out of trouble. Marty comes back in to clean house and everything breaks down again. Fuji breaks up the top rope double fist drop though and Marty goes after him with the cane. The distraction works though as Sato throws salt in Marty’s eyes and it’s a countout at 7:35.

Rating: C+. These teams would have far better matches together, including a classic at the 1991 Royal Rumble, but this is still more entertaining than almost anything else on the show so far. This was a perfect choice for the first match back from intermission as they hit the ground running and brought the crowd right back to life. Well done.

Steve Allen is with Rhythm and Blues (Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine, now as a regular tag team and also a band) who will be performing tonight. Allen thinks this is going to be as big as when Tiny Tim played the Vince Lombardi rest stop.

Dino Bravo vs. Jim Duggan

Duggan comes out with an American flag to face the Canadian wrestler. Jesse sees it for the stupid idea that it is but of course Monsoon thinks it’s fine. Gorilla continues his rare trend of stupid comments as he thinks Earthquake should be ejected because you can’t have a wrestler’s license and a manager’s license at the same time. Why he never brought this up all the times Heenan got in the ring isn’t clear but maybe it’s the Canadian air.

Bravo shoves him around to start but Duggan punches him in the face for his efforts. A bunch of right hands in the corner have Bravo in even more trouble but he stops to shove the referee. Jesse: “HE SHOVED A REFEREE!” Gorilla: “Really? I didn’t see that.” Jesse: “….what.” It wasn’t even a question but rather Jesse just being annoyed at Monsoon. Earthquake gets in some cheap shots from the floor and Bravo takes over.

Like a truly stupid villain though, he tries to ram Duggan’s head into the buckle and Jim comes back with even more right hands. He’s nice enough to mix it up with some clotheslines but Earthquake breaks up the Three Point Clothesline (which is totally different than the regular clotheslines. This one is out of a three point stance you see). The referee yells at Earthquake and it’s a 2×4 shot to Bravo for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: D-. I can’t believe I’m saying this but Monsoon was really getting on my nerves here. He came off like a heel commentator in reverse with the same lack of common sense or logic that you almost never heard from him, at least not in one match. The match itself was what you would expect from these two but at least it was short.

Earthquake sits on Duggan’s chest three times in a row for some revenge.

We recap Ted DiBiase vs. Jake Roberts, which started last year and is still going now. They’ve been attacking each other ever since and Jake has had his eyes on the Million Dollar Title.

Roberts says this is the biggest match of DiBiase’s career because everything Ted stands for is on the line. Jake brings up Ted humiliating people who needed the money he was offering them and promises to humiliate DiBiase for a change.

Million Dollar Title: Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase is defending of course but the title is only kind of official. Jake starts fast with a shoulder and knee lift but DiBiase bails to the floor to run from the DDT. They do the same sequence again and the stalling continues. Jake gets him back inside and starts working on the arm with a bunch of knee drops followed by a hammerlock. Gorilla and Jesse argue over what Jake is working on until Jake leverages DiBiase out to the floor in a nice counter.

The running knee lift misses though as the announcers keep up a running joke about Gorilla eating a lot of hot dogs. They’ve been going on about that for three matches now and it’s not very funny. DiBiase slaps on a front facelock and the fans start doing the Wave. Ted throws him to the floor as they’re not trying to do much as the fans are distracted. Back in and a piledriver to Jake calms things down but DiBiase takes his time to cover so it’s only good for two.

The Million Dollar Dream puts Jake down but he gets a foot on the rope for the save. It’s time for the comeback and the fans want the DDT. The short clothesline looks to set it up but Jake takes his time as well, allowing Virgil to pull Roberts to the floor. DiBiase follows him outside and slaps on the Million Dollar Dream again, which is good enough to give DiBiase the countout win at 11:53. Apparently that gives DiBiase the title back (not sanctioned so it can change hands on a countout) but was Jake even champion? Jake didn’t came out with the title but they’re treating it like a new champion.

Rating: C. More boring than bad here but that was often the case between these two. The Wave part in the middle didn’t do the match any favors and the match never really recovered. They needed to pick things up and stop waiting around so much but the match could have been far worse.

DiBiase holds up the title and Gorilla freaks out. Gorilla: “He doesn’t deserve it!” Jesse: “He paid for it!” Gorilla: “So?” Jesse: “People don’t deserve the things they pay for?” Also of note here: you can hear DiBiase’s music echoing through the dome for a weird effect. Jake goes after DiBiase and gets the DDT as Virgil runs off with the belt. Roberts gives away some of the money DiBiase dropped, including $100 to Mary Tyler Moore. He gets the snake out but Virgil pulls DiBiase out to the floor.

Slick recaps the Twin Towers splitting, which started when Big Boss Man wouldn’t take money from DiBiase to get the Million Dollar Belt back because he lost it fair and square. So Jake WAS champion coming in? Anyway Akeem promises to crush Boss Man.

Boss Man calls DiBiase scum and he doesn’t take money from people like that. He’s poor but proud of a lot of things, including being an American. Again, shouldn’t that make him a heel here?

Akeem vs. Big Boss Man

Boss Man’s face is terrifying as he rides the cart to the ring, even though he’s the good guy here. Before the bell, DiBiase pops out and attacks Boss Man, including sending him into the post. The referee is fine with all this and counts two off Akeem’s splash anyway. Something like an atomic drop out of the corner gets Boss Man out of trouble and he whips Akeem from buckle to buckle. The Boss Man Slam (and a good one at that) is enough to put Akeem away at 1:50.

The fans don’t like Rhythm and Blues but Mary Tyler Moore likes Wrestlemania.

Here are Rhythm and Blues to perform, complete with a gold record of Hunka Hunka Hunka Honky Love which hasn’t even been released yet. Of note: they’re driven out in a pink Cadillac with future WCW World Champion Diamond Dallas Page driving (it was his car). They even have Honkyettes to really make this amazing. The song is horrible as you would expect, even with real musician Jimmy Hart there as backup. Some vendors show up after the song but they’re the Bushwhackers in disguise. House is cleaned and the instruments are destroyed, meaning the house is dirty again.

The new attendance record of 67,678 (easy to remember at least) is announced. This is done in about twenty seconds.

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Steve Allen jumps in on commentary. Rude, with his hair slicked back and much shorter than in recent years, attacks from behind to start but Snuka holds the rope to avoid a dropkick. We get a hip swivel from the Superfly and a headbutt to the ribs has Rude in more trouble than it should. There’s a flying headbutt to put Rude down again but he’s able to break up the Superfly Splash. Jimmy misses the middle rope headbutt though and the Rude Awakening is enough for the pin at 3:50.

Rating: D. Just a quick match to put Rude over as a tough guy before we FINALLY get to the main event. Snuka was nothing more than a jobber to the stars at this point and he still did that job quite well. Not a good match or anything but what do you expect in the death slot before the biggest match of the year?

We recap the main event with a clip from the Royal Rumble. Warrior and Hogan nearly came to blows after Warrior hit him by accident in a tag match on Saturday Night’s Main Event. That was about it for their drama though as they respect each other coming in.

WWF World Title/Intercontinental Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior

Title for title. The fans are WAY into this one as they come to life more than they have all night long. Warrior comes out first and stands on the corner as Hogan makes his entrance for an awesome visual. The crowd is totally split here. I don’t mean the WWE definition of totally split where it’s 70/30 at best. I mean it’s dead even here with both guys being equally loved.

They lock up to start and both guys are shoved into the corner. We get the iconic test of strength with Hogan going down first, only to fight back up and take Warrior down. They trade slams but it’s Warrior getting the better of it and clotheslining Hogan to the floor. Hulk comes up holding his knee and says he’s blown it out. He gets back in and Warrior kicks away at the knee but Hulk stops selling it about ten seconds later and it’s never mentioned again.

Hulk comes back with right hands and a clothesline in the corner as the fans are losing their minds over every single move. Off to a front facelock on Warrior (Jesse: “Ask Richard Belzer!” Belzer was a talk show host that Hogan put in a front facelock and knocked him unconscious, leading to a lawsuit. That’s quite the edgy reference.) before going back to just punching Warrior in the head. We hit the chinlock on Warrior and the fans are even into this.

A belly to back suplex gets two on Warrior and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up again and it’s a double clothesline to drop both guys. Jesse gets it right again by saying Hogan should be in better shape because he’s been in control for so long. Warrior gets up and starts shaking the ropes, setting up the running clotheslines. A suplex gets two on Hulk and we hit the bearhug. Two arm drops mean it’s time for Hogan’s comeback, only to have Warrior run over the referee. Warrior hits a pair of top rope ax handles but misses a shoulder and gets driven face first into the mat.

There’s no one to count so Warrior belly to back suplexes him for the same result. Hogan gets a VERY slow two off a rollup as the referee is only halfway back into it. Warrior is knocked to the floor but comes back in for the gorilla press. The splash connects but Hogan kicks out at two and it’s Hulk Up time. Warrior takes the big boot but the legdrop only hits mat, setting up the second splash to give Warrior the pin and the title at 22:50.

Rating: A. It’s still a classic. This is a match I’ve seen probably two dozen times over the years and I never get tired of it. The crowd carries it up to a higher level but it’s still a great battle of the titans on its own. Hogan losing clean is still a huge deal and felt like it was going to be a new era. We’ll get to that later but the match more than holds up and is one of the biggest matches in wrestling history.

Hogan is stunned and dejected at his first ever clean loss in the company. The referee brings Warrior both titles and the camera focuses on just Warrior so the WWF World Title can be returned to ringside, allowing Hogan to go get it. He hands it to Warrior and endorses the new champion before riding away in the card, leaving Warrior to celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Just like in the main event, the crowd carries this show far higher. The show is roughly the same length as the previous year’s show but it’s far less boring and energetic to make the time go by faster. It definitely needed to be trimmed down but I can live with a long energetic show over a long and boring show where they’re just killing time until a not as great main event. This was a good kickoff to the new decade and a very fun show.

Ratings Comparison

Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Demolition vs. Colossal Connection

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C+

Earthquake vs. Hercules

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

Original: A

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: C

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Barbarian vs. Tito Santana

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Sensational Sherri

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: C-

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Original: C

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D-

Ted Dibiase vs. Jake Roberts

Original: C

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C

Big Boss Man vs. Akeem

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C

Why can’t I make up my mind on Brown vs. Piper?

Here’s the original review:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/13/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-6-epitome-of-a-one-match-show/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/15/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-vi-the-ultimate-challenge/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

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