Monday Night Raw
Date: August 2, 1993
Location: Castle Recreation Center, Alexandria Bay, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

We’re back to the old Raw’s with another short month. The build to Summerslam is on so this is going to be a show focused on Lex Luger again. Other than that, we’ll need to build up the rest of the card, which doesn’t exactly have the best reputation. Maybe the build will be better though. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Doink The Clown challenging Randy Savage and having two more Doink’s pop up for the mind games.

Opening sequence.

A very patriotic looking Randy Savage is ready for all the Doink’s and says he might have a little surprise of his own.

Steiner Brothers vs. Duane Gill/Barry Horowitz

Non-title. The shots of the arena during the Steiners’ entrance shows you just how tiny the venue really is. Scott powers Horowitz around without much trouble to start but misses a charge in the corner. Horowitz pats himself on the back for the dodge and is promptly caught in a Boston crab. Rick comes in and Barry yells a bit before Gill comes in to hammer away. This earns him a quick clothesline and it’s back to Scott for the Frankensteiner and the fast pin. Total squash, as it should have been.

We get the first part of a series to help us get to know Lex Luger on his way to the Summerslam title match. He talks about how important it was to get a good education to go with athletics. His friends made fun of him when he was working so hard at school, even though he moved around a lot as a kid. To this day, his friends are amazed to see him doing what he does today. He’s always nervous and he fights it to this day. Thrilling indeed. Far better than, I don’t know, having him wrestle.

Adam Bomb vs. Tony Roy

Johnny Polo is here with Bomb. A waistlock takes Roy down without much effort as Bobby talks about knowing Marilyn Monroe. Polo thinks his parents deserve applause as Roy is sent hard into the corner. A drop across the top rope and a top rope clothesline set up the Atom Smasher (powerbomb) to give Bomb the pin.

Next week: Tatanka vs. Mr. Hughes. Oh yeah it’s 1993.

Doink The Clown vs. Randy Savage

Hold on though as Savage wants to check on the floor for extra Doinks before being ready to go. Doink bails into the corner to start as the fans are rather behind Savage. A rake to the eyes slows Savage down so he goes outside for a chair, which is enough of a distraction for Doink to get in a cheap shot. The Boston crab has Savage in more trouble and Doink even grabs the rope for a bonus. With that broken up, Doink wraps the leg around the rope and hammers away in the ropes.

Savage gets away and hits the running knee to send Doink outside. A posting cuts Savage down though and we take a break. Back with Doink hitting a dropkick and we hit the neck crank. That doesn’t last long either and Doink grabs an abdominal stretch. Doink slams him down but misses the Whoopee Cushion. Savage gets sent outside, where he crawls outside….and is replaced by a miniature version. Doink is so confused that Savage small packages him for the pin.

Rating: C. This got some time but that didn’t exactly make it good. Doink worked on the back for a good while until the screwiness came out. Savage was pretty clearly just kind of there until Crush came back and this wasn’t exactly great to see. Doink was a bizarre character but he could make it work. Just not with the “funny” stuff at the end, which really didn’t work

Post match the Mini Savage bites Doink and poses with the big version.

It’s time for the Summerslam Report. We run down the card with Gene Okerlund pointing out that we don’t know what a Rest In Peace match is yet.

Ted DiBiase calls in to complain about the 1-2-3 Kid. We see a clip of Razor Ramon costing DiBiase a match against the Kid on Wrestling Challenge, causing DiBiase to hang up in disgust.

Heenan is upset over DiBiase….but gets very happy as he sees someone in the ring. That would be the debuting Jim Cornette from Smoky Mountain Wrestling, with Heenan asking the fans if they know who he is. Heenan calls him the greatest manager in wrestling but Cornette says he’s only the best because Heenan retired.

We talk about Smoky Mountain Wrestling and how great Cornette is, but now he’s here with his knockout blow. Cornette, already dripping with sweat, hypes up the Heavenly Bodies, who will be answering the Steiner Brothers’ open challenge for the Tag Team Titles at Summerslam. The thing here is that while Cornette might not have been known in the WWF, all he had to do was be friends with Heenan and the fans knew they shouldn’t like him. That’s so simple and uses Heenan’s status to someone else’s benefit.

Mr. Perfect vs. Barry Hardy

Jim Cornette is on commentary and Vince asks him about various other teams in Smoky Mountain (including the Rock N Roll Express, which is bizarre to hear from Vince’s mouth). Perfect starts fast with a dropkick to the floor, leaving Cornette panicking at a person flying at him. Back in and Perfect works on the leg and rips off part of Hardy’s gear. The PerfectPlex finishes fast.

Another Lex Express video.

Commentary previews next week’s show to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: C. Well, stuff did happen here and that’s a rare thing for this show. That being said, it wasn’t exactly all positive, with stuff like the Lex Luger interview being pretty awful. The long match wasn’t exactly my taste, but Cornette’s debut and watching the Steiners wreck small humans is always worth a look. This isn’t the best time for the WWF though and odds are that isn’t changing anytime soon.

 

 

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Bluegrass Brawl 1993
Date: April 2, 1993
Location: College Gym, Pikeville, Kentucky
Attendance: 1,778
Commentators: Les Thatcher, Lance Russell

This is from Smoky Mountain Wrestling, a promotion that I have barely ever looked at for some reason. It’s another request and in this case we have quite the big main event, with a triple threat (before that term was a thing) nine man tag, plus a chain match for the Heavyweight Title. Let’s get to it.

We open with My Old Kentucky Home (Kentucky’s rather lame state song).

Les Thatcher and Lance Russell run down the card and talk about how great this show can be.

There appears to be a Robbie Eagle vs. Rip Rogers match missing here.

Rob Morgan vs. Mongolian Stomper

Morgan jumps him to start and they’re on the floor fast. Stomper posts him hard and stomps away back inside, setting up a big boot. A cobra clutch finishes Morgan at 1:22. Bret Hart called Stomper (who never took his jacket off here) the best Canadian wrestler ever and he looked rather dominant here so maybe Bret is on to something.

Brain Lee is ready to beat Kevin Sullivan in whatever kind of match they have.

Here is Lee to find out what kind of match he and Sullivan will be having, by way of a roll of a dice. The dice is a six, meaning Lee gets to pick. That would be….a Singapore Spike match!

Tim Horner is ready to take care of the Nightstalker and then he’ll have Lee’s back later.

Nightstalker vs. Tim Horner

Nightstalker is better known as Adam Bomb/Wrath and he shoves Horner around to start. Horner punches his way out of the corner and the fans certainly like that. Horner’s shoulder bounces off of him though and Nightstalker starts working on the arm. With that broken up, Horner dropkicks him to the floor but gets sent hard into the corner back inside.

A sideslam sets up one heck of a slingshot clothesline for two on Horner and we hit the bearhug. Two arm drops trigger the comeback but Nightstalker’s clothesline trigger another near fall. Horner fights out of the chinlock but Nightstalker sends him into corner to keep up the beating.

The comeback is on anyway though and a snap suplex gives Horner two. The sleeper doesn’t work for Horner so he tries it again, only to have it broken up again. A powerslam sets up a missed elbow for Nightstalker and we hit the third sleeper. This time Nightstalker throws him over over the top to escape and that’s a DQ at 13:13.

Rating: C+. I’ve always been a fan of Nightstalker as he’s one of those guys can get by on pure power and appearance alone. Horner on the other hand is a rather generic good guy and it’s not much of a surprise that he never went too far. The ending didn’t help things here either, as it felt like a way to set up a rematch. They were going well until then, but there is only so much that can be done with a fairly weak finish.

Kevin Sullivan is happy to face Brian Lee in a Singapore Spike match. He hasn’t had this much fun since he went to Norway and clubbed baby seals!

Kevin Sullivan vs. Brian Lee

This is a Singapore Spike (there is a box in every corner, with the spike inside one of them) match and Nightstalker/Brian Horner are the seconds, though they are handcuffed in corners. Lee unloads with right hands to start and they’re already on the floor, with Sullivan getting in a posting.

A chair shot just wakes Lee up a bit and they head inside, where Lee charges into a raised boot. They head back to the floor with Sullivan hitting him with a sandbag but there’s nothing in the first box. Lee gets in a shot of his own but there’s nothing in the second box either. Sullivan takes him to the floor again and hits him with the ring bell hammer.

Back in and Sullivan uses some pliers to keep Lee down but the third box is empty as well. The fourth box is opened but Sullivan doesn’t pull anything out for some reason. Lee fights back and the referee goes down, allowing Nightstalker to get to the apron (still hooked) to try and bring in the spike (which he seemed to pull out of the box). For some reason Nightstalker hesitates to hand it over though and Lee uses the distraction to grab a rollup for the pin at 7:08.

Rating: C. It was a decent enough brawl but at the end of the day, the boxes and the spike didn’t even matter as Nightstalker got the spike and never even used the thing. Lee vs. Sullivan seems like a big feud, but this wasn’t the best execution of what seemed to be a big time match. It had the energy, though that’s about all.

Post match Sullivan goes after the still handcuffed Nightstalker with a chair but the cuffs come off, meaning Sullivan has to run off.

Tracy Smothers is ready for the Dirty White Boy. The White Boy has cost him the TV Title and $5,000 but then he burned the rebel flag that Smothers gave to him.

Ron Wright (Tennessee wrestling legend in a wheelchair) has handed down his beloved Tennessee chain to the Dirty White Boy and promises violence.

Dirty White Boy is in Central Park (allegedly) and whips out a gun to deal with off screen muggers. He has a bunch of sugar for Smothers (ok then) and a beer, which Smothers has already had. Finally, he has a bunch of dirt, which the people of Tennessee have under their fingernails. He uses the whip to break the sugar and assorted fruits and promises violence.

Smoky Mountain Title: Tracy Smothers vs. Dirty White Boy

The White Boy is defending in a Tennessee Chain match, meaning they’re tied together and it’s touch all four corners rules (with “an offensive blow” being enough to reset the count). They fight over pulling on the chain to start until White Boy pulls him into a clothesline. Smothers isn’t having that and pulls him down with the chain before hammering away. They go to the floor so Smothers can twirl a rebel flag, followed by some rams into the buckle back inside.

That’s good for three buckles but White Boy breaks it up, earning himself another beating. White Boy comes up and slugs away, only to get dropped with a single right hand. They head outside for some choking, followed by some rams into the buckle back inside. Smothers grabs the mic and calls him a “stupid Yankee” before going back to the right hands to the head.

There are three buckles but White Boy punches him a few times to break it up. White Boy pulls the chain for a crotching on top and head outside, where the bloody Smothers gets choked a bit. Back in and the chain is wrapped around the cut before a clothesline lets White Boy get three buckles. Smothers breaks that run up but the chain goes around his head to slow him down again.

White Boy gets smart by wrapping the chain around Smothers’ feet and dragging him around. A monkey flip gets Smothers out of trouble but the blood has left him blinded. He can still punch away without being able to see but an atomic drop cuts him off again. Smothers breaks him up at three again so White Boy chokes him down again, giving us two arm drops. Back up and White Boy kicks him low to cut off another comeback attempt. A clothesline with the chain drops Smothers again but White Boy goes up and gets pulled back down.

They head to the floor again where White Boy is busted open, setting up a top rope chain shot to the head. Smothers grabs a fireman’s carry for three buckles, as Wright trips him down for the save. White Boy starts choking and dragging him around the ring, with both of them hitting the buckles at the same time. With just the last one to go, Smothers fights back and lets White Boy flip him over with the chain, meaning Smothers gets the fourth buckle and the title at 25:58.

Rating: B+. These guys beat the fire out of each other and it felt like an old school southern fight. What matters here is Smothers gets the title and his revenge, but at the same time it was a bloody battle, which is what the fans wanted to see. This felt like they were trying to play towards each others strengths and it worked very well. Heck of a fight here and the best thing on the show so far by a mile.

Post match Smothers is in the back and talks about how this is the greatest night of his career. White Boy jumps him though and even spits on him.

We recap the three way nine man tag.

The Stud Stable (Ron Fuller/Jimmy Golden, better known as Colonel Parker and Buckhouse Buck in WCW) and Dutch Mantel are ready to take everyone out, with Mantel promising a bunch of whippings.

The Rock N Roll Express and Arn Anderson (what a team) is ready for the fight, with Anderson talking about how you might know it’s bad, but you don’t know just HOW bad it is. Ricky Morton says it’s time to learn just how good they are.

The Heavenly Bodies (Stan Lane/Tom Prichard) and Bobby Eaton with Jim Cornette are ready as well, with Cornette talking about how many firsts you’ll be seeing here. Everyone else is going out on stretchers when they win the first ever nine man street fight.

Heavenly Bodies/Bobby Eaton vs. Rock N Roll Express/Arn Anderson vs. Stud Stable/Dutch Mantel

Three way elimination (anyone gets pinned/gives up, their team is gone) street fight. The big brawl is on to start and this is going to be a nightmare to follow. Some of them go outside and the weapons are already brought in as this is already quite the melee. Eaton and Morton fight to the back but come back with a tire wrapped around his head.

Gibson whips various people with a belt and Prichard is already busted open. Morton gets a trashcan to clean house as the wild brawling continues. Gibson and Eaton fight off this time so Cornette comes in, only to get choked down. Gibson comes back and fights over a chair with Fuller until Morton gets in a chair shot to the head. That’s enough to pin Fuller and eliminate the Stud Stable/Mantel at 9:12.

Thankfully that clears the ring a bit but Fuller goes after Gibson (now with a bad ankle/leg) anyway. A Rocket Launcher gets two on Morton but Arn is up with a fire extinguisher (Cornette loved that spot). The three DDTs take out the villains and it’s time for a table, with all of them being whipped into it in the corner. Cornette is sent into it for a bonus and Gibson puts the Figure Four on Cornette as well. Prichard comes off the top with a loaded boot though and Gibson is done at 13:16.

Rating: B. This is the kind of match where you’re not supposed to be able to keep track of what is going on. It’s designed to be all about the mayhem and that was the case here, with nine people out there to go as nuts as they can until someone gets a fall. Cornette took a beating as well and it helped a lot, but this was just a bunch of fun with stars and names you might not see around here very often. Either way, heck of a way to close, but the details aren’t what mattered here, because it was all about the calamity.

In the back, Jim Cornette talks about how they’re the best team around here and he guarantees that will be the case for a long time.

The announcers wrap it up.

Credits, with a highlight package, take us out.

Overall Rating: B. The last two matches here are all that mattered and it wound up being rather good as a result. The first match was a squash, the second was a step away from being good and the third was an idea that didn’t quite come together. This show flew by and felt like a big time TV show at various points. The last two matches carried the show though and that chain match has the emotion to make it work. It’s not exactly must see, but I can absolutely see the audience for this kind of thing.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 27, 1993
Location: New Haven Coliseum, New Haven, Connecticut
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

Things are going to be going in a different direction this week as the Steiner Brothers, who have been the focus of the last two weeks, have been suspended. That means we are going to need something fresh, and that could mean just about anything around here. Hopefully they pick one of the better options of what they have available so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Jack Tunney (he has to be about done) joins us to announce that Shawn Michaels has been suspended for no selling title defenses (or allegedly drugs, though Shawn still denies that to this day). Therefore, Shawn has been stripped of the Intercontinental Title (a first for the title, with Ultimate Warrior relinquishing it in 1990 rather than having it taken from him) and a battle royal will be held next week. The last two men in that match will meet the following week to crown a new champion. Better than just giving it to the winner of the battle royal.

Opening sequence.

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

In case you didn’t get enough at Wrestlemania VIII. Feeling out process to start as Vince talks about next week’s battle royal. Martel takes him down and jumps some jacks and they fight over arm control. Tatanka gets driven into the corner to break up a hammerlock as we hear about Heenan getting over his cold. That earns Martel a hard crash to the floor and we hit the stall button. Savage: “STALL-ING!”

The chase finally brings Martel back inside where he stomps away before avoiding a middle rope spinning crossbody. Tatanka gets kicked to the floor and we take a break. Back with Martel putting on the abdominal stretch as Vince describes this as a seesaw match, back and force.

A belly to back gives Martel two more but a slingshot splash hits raised knees. Martel is fine enough to grab a reverse chinlock but Tatanka makes the comeback and hits a high crossbody. The warpath is on and Tatanka slams him down, setting up a top rope chop to the head. Martel sends a charging Tatanka over the top to the floor only to be pulled outside as well. The brawl sends them to the double countout at 10:44.

Rating: C. Completely watchable match, but there is only so much to get out of Tatanka vs. Martel in 1993. Tatanka is still undefeated so they didn’t want to give Martel the win, though at the end of the day, Martel needed to be reestablished after being gone for a bit. Not bad, but the ending didn’t do it any favors.

Joe Fowler tells us the names in the battle royal:

IRS
Randy Savage
Adam Bomb
Giant Gonzalez
Mr. Perfect
Owen Hart
Rick Martel
Jimmy Snuka
Bob Backlund
Pierre
Jacques
Razor Ramon
Mabel
Diesel
MVP
1-2-3 Kid
Bam Bam Bigelow
Marty Jannetty
Tatanka
Bastion Booger

Ludvig Borga vs. Phil Apollo

Borga rushes him in the corner to start and hits a side slam as Heenan talks about reading the newspaper in the bathroom. A spinebuster plants Apollo and Borga tosses him outside. Back in and a delayed vertical suplex plants Apollo again. The torture rack finishes Apollo at 3:17.

Rating: C-. Total squash, but I’ve always liked Borga to a certain extent. You need to have him beat people up to make him seem more important, though the showdown with Lex Luger has to come at some point. Yes Borga is little more than than another foreign monster, but it still works well enough.

Jimmy Snuka vs. Paul Van Dale

Snuka jumps him to start but gets elbowed in the back of the head. Heenan calls Crush to ask why Randy Savage is in the battle royal but Crush isn’t. A headbutt drops Van Dale and Snuka hits him in the throat for a bonus. Savage tells Crush to say what he has to say as Crush talks about how he is in great shape. A shot to the ribs drops Van Dale again as Heenan wonders if he can get the charges on the call reversed. Snuka’s leapfrog into the chop connects as I feel like I’m in a weird time warp. The slingshot suplex into the Superfly Splash finishes Van Dale at 4:34.

Rating: C-. The Splash still looked good and the fans reacted to it, but Snuka in 1993 feels like it belongs at some independent show rather than on Raw. He didn’t look great and the squash wasn’t exactly interesting, but I guess they were going for some nostalgia. It didn’t exactly work, but they were trying.

We look back at PJ Walker upsetting IRS thanks to Razor Ramon’s distraction.

IRS is in his office and still livid over the loss. He’ll get some revenge on Ramon in the battle royal. The closeup of IRS’ face is more than a little weird to see. Even weirder: Vince calls him Mr. Rotundo.

Tag Team Titles: Quebecers vs. Barry Horowitz/Reno Riggins

The Quebecers, with Johnny Polo, are defending. Hold on though as Riggins is sick so Horowitz has a replacement: the 1-2-3 Kid! The Kid kicks away at Jacques to start and everything breaks down fast. The champs are dropkicked outside for a meeting with Polo as the fans approve. Back in and a running elbow hits the Kid in the face to take over as Vince talks about the battle royal again.

Jacques slams Pierre onto the Kid and Pierre drops Jacques onto the Kid as the champs take over. There’s a double hot shot to keep the Kid in trouble but he kicks his way to freedom. With Jacques out on the floor and water to the face not working, Polo calls for a stretcher. Jacques is wheeled out but Pierre gets to keep defending on his own! I don’t know if that’s how the rules work but we take a break and come back with Pierre dropping a middle rope legdrop for two on Horowitz.

The middle rope headbutt makes it worse but for some reason, Pierre slam Horowitz into the corner for the tag to the Kid. A bunch of strikes put Pierre down but he low bridges Kid out to the floor. Polo sends the mostly out of it Kid back inside for the pin to retain the titles at 13:23.

Rating: C+. This was a nice change of pace as there was actually a story to the match. The fact that the Quebecers had to get cut in half to give Horowitz and the Kid a chance is kind of telling about how the match was going to go, but the did try. For a one off though, it was working, or at least as well as it could with a relatively uninterested crowd.

Razor Ramon comes out to say he’s ready for the battle royal, with Heenan trying to stir up some issues between Ramon and Savage.

Overall Rating: C+. This show had one goal and one goal only: make you care about next week’s battle royal. That was the entire focus of the show and it actually worked well, as it was treated as the most important thing going on anywhere. I could go for seeing the match now, which is impressive as I’ve seen it before and it wasn’t very good in the first place. Nice show here, with some ok wrestling but a locked in focus on what really matters.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 20, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,200
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

Last week saw the Quebecers win/steal the Tag Team Titles from the Steiner Brothers. You aren’t going to get the Steiners to go away that easily and now Scott gets a chance to beat Pierre to get another shot. Other than that, we don’t really have much going on as Survivor Series is two months away, so get ready for some squashes. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of the Quebecers winning the Tag Team Titles last week via DQ, as it was under Province Of Quebec (meaning complicated) Rules.

Opening sequence.

It’s a rough week for Bobby Heenan, who has a bad case of the sniffles after Doink threw water on him last week.

Pierre vs. Scott Steiner

Johnny Polo is the only second here. Scott starts fast and clotheslines Pierre down before sending him outside, with Polo already panicking. The piledriver, which would have been illegal last week, crushes Pierre again as Scott covers everything that would have lost them the titles (nice). We get a Muta Lock of all things, which feels so out of place in 1993….well America really.

Scott knocks him down again and Pierre needs a hug on the floor. Polo gets chased to the back and Scott steals his hockey stick as we take a break. Back with Scott holding Pierre at bay with said stick, but here is Jacques to uneven things up. Rick Steiner comes out to stare Jacques down, allowing Pierre to get in the cheap shot to take over for the first time. Polo gets in a cheap shot of his own and we hit the chinlock.

Like a true villain, Pierre doesn’t crank on it very hard but does put his feet on the ropes. Naturally Vince talks about Rush Limbaugh, because that’s what fans were wanting to hear. The Vader Bomb gets two on Scott and a middle rope legdrop is good for the same. A backslide gives Scott a breather and it’s a double knockdown for the extended breather. Back up and the Frankensteiner gives Scott the fast pin at 16:06.

Rating: C. This went on for a good while but I’ll take something like this over the endless parade of squash matches that you usually get around here. At the same time, you have to keep the Steiners strong and as was shown last week, the Quebecers can only win with the screwy rules. They did what they needed to do here, even if it dragged in the middle.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Laverne Magille

What a name for Bigelow’s victim. Bigelow misses a dropkick to start and gets dropkicked into the corner. That doesn’t last long as Bigelow suplex slams him down as Crush calls him. The recovery is going well but, again, Crush doesn’t want to talk to Randy Savage, hanging up on him for the second week in a row.

Bigelow hits some weird jumping kick and the chinlock goes on. The clubbing forearms set up the choking on the rope, with Magille being thrown over said rope to the floor. Back in and Magille avoids a charge but dives into a ram into the corner. Another suplex slam sets up the backsplash to give Bigelow the pin at 5:17.

Rating: C-. This was long and not exactly good, as Bigelow was looking sloppy at times and they felt like they were filling in time more than once. Then again that is exactly what they should have been doing, as there is only so much you can get out of a five minute squash. Bigelow was always good for some impressive looking stuff, but he didn’t get to do much here.

We look back at Doink The Clown throwing water on Bobby Heenan last week.

Heenan, claiming a 113 degree fever, is found to be at about 97 degrees.

Here is Bret Hart for a chat. Vince McMahon talks about the things that Bret has dealt with in this building, mainly involving Jerry Lawler. Bret tortured Lawler at Summerslam but the decision was overturned because he wouldn’t let go of the Sharpshooter. This gets a rather long recap, with Vince making it sound like an explanation to a jury.

Therefore, Lawler is the undisputed King of the WWF, but Bret (who finally gets to talk) isn’t so sure. It’s a great honor to be King of the Ring but Bret cares about his family honor more than anything else. Maybe Bret should have let the Sharpshooter go at Summerslam. Or not, as he should have held onto it longer. Lawler will have to step in the ring with him again one day and Bret will take away the head that wears the crown. Well that escalated quickly.

Mr. Perfect vs. Mike Bell

Perfect takes the arm to start and then slaps Bell in the face. The headlock works a bit better for Perfect and he runs Bell over with a shoulder. There’s the running dropkick and they head outside as this is one sided so far. Chops against the post and in the corner back inside ensue, setting up the necksnap to keep Bell in trouble. The knee lift and dropkick set up the PerfectPlex for the pin at 3:51.

Rating: C. Now that was more like it, as Perfect barely broke a sweat here and won with absolutely no trouble. Perfect could make things look so smooth out there and that was on full display here. This was a good year for Perfect, who got to show that he could still do it as well as he did before, but with a bit more of a veteran style to it. Nice stuff here, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

Ludvig Borga doesn’t like trash or Lex Luger, who STANDS UP for trash.

Bobby Heenan talks to a man who proposed to his girlfriend, but Heenan makes the woman hold his Kleenex. Then he steals her popcorn.

IRS vs. PJ Walker

Walker is better known as Justin Credible but IRS declares him a tax cheat. IRS takes him outside for an early whip into the steps as Razor Ramon comes out to watch. That’s enough of a distraction for Walker to grab a rollup for the big upset at 1:19.

The Quebecers know the Steiners have earned a title shot….but there are more deserving teams so the Quebecers will defend against them instead. The Steiners being suspended around this time is just a coincidence I assure you.

The preview (including JIMMY SNUKA of all people, complete with the famous cage splash footage) wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C. The opener got the time to make things a bit better and the upset in the end was a nice surprise. This was much more to the formula for the early days of Raw and it wasn’t a half bad show. There is good stuff around this time and if you can get through some of the boring, it can be pretty entertaining to watch week to week.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 13, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,200
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

We’re just done with Summerslam and that means there isn’t much going on until Survivor Series in November. This week features a pretty big match as the Steiners are defending the Tag Team Titles against the Quebecers in a Quebec Province match, in what can only be a completely normal match. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Commentary welcomes us to the show.

Tag Team Titles: Quebecers vs. Steiner Brothers

Quebec Province rules, meaning the titles can change hands via countout/DQ, piledrivers are legal and throwing someone over the top is a DQ. Rick and Jacques start things off with the latter hitting some knees to the ribs in the corner. That earns him a shot to the face and Jacques bails to the floor.

Pierre comes in and gets powerslammed for two so it’s Scott coming in for the tiger driver and two. The armbar goes on for a bit before Scott hits a nice dropkick for two. Back up and Pierre knocks Scott into the corner before dropping a fist for two of his own. Scott makes the quick comeback and hands it off to Rick, who almost uses the illegal piledriver as we take a break.

We come back with Rick sending Jacques through the ropes (legal) and Scott grabbing a headlock on Pierre. The overhead belly to belly gives Scott two more and we hit the half crab. Rick comes back in for a half crab of his own, but for some reason half plus half doesn’t equal Boston. Jacques’ save attempt doesn’t work and the Steiners get to keep taking turns, though Scott does stop to point at Johnny Polo.

Rick’s middle rope….something hits not quite raised knees (that didn’t work) but Rick is fine enough to belly to back superplex Pierre for two. Jacques makes the save and it’s time for a Quebecers/Polo huddle as we take a break. Back with Scott getting double kicked down and Pierre being slammed onto him for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit, followed by a Vader Bomb to give Pierre two more. Jacques backdrops Pierre onto Scott for….what appears to be some miscommunication over who is legal so Scott comes back with something like a spinning DDT.

The hot tag is broken up though and Scott gets sent outside to keep up the beating. Scott finally fights his way out of trouble for a triple knockdown and the tag brings in Rick to clean house. Everything breaks down and it’s back to Scott, who gets in a fight with Jacques over the hockey stick. Scott finally loses his cool (no, really) and hits Jacques with the stick for the DQ and the titles at 17:35 (that’s a LONG match for the old days of Raw).

Rating: B. This was a match with all kinds of gimmicks and rules but it wound up being a regular tag match that worked out rather well. The Quebecers weren’t a great team but they were capable of working well with another good team. Therefore, the Steiners were more than capable of making something like this work, with the Quebecers winning the titles via the match’s rather insane rules. Good stuff, and very different from what you would get around this time.

Bobby is ECSTATIC over the title change, as you probably expected.

Mr. Perfect vs. Tony DeVito

Perfect knocks him outside to start and takes it to the back before bringing it right back to the ring. DeVito hits a dropkick but Perfect runs over him and hits a not so perfect dropkick of his own. A knee lift sets up the PerfectPlex to give Perfect the pin at 2:44. Not the best squash here and Perfect even gets in a few shots after the match, so maybe he was in a bad mood.

After Summerslam, Ludvig Borga mocked Lex Luger for choking and issued the challenge.

Razor Ramon vs. The Executioner

That Executioner looks rather Barry Horowitzish, even with the mask on. Executioner actually starts fast and knocks Razor outside in a heap. Back in and Razor wins a slugout before grabbing the abdominal stretch. The belly to back superplex finishes the Executioner at 2:32, as he wasn’t even worthy of the Razor’s Edge.

Actually he is, as Razor gives him the Edge post match. Well that’s excessive.

Vince McMahon brings out the Quebecers and Johnny Polo for their victory speech. To say Polo is excited is an understatement as Jacques compares the win to the Toronto Blue Jays and Montreal Canadiens. Vince thinks the Steiners deserve a rematch and the end result is a Steiner vs. a Quebecer next week, with Scott having to win to get a future title shot. The fans singing and conducting the Quebecers’ theme song should tell you where their support lies.

Bobby Heenan and Randy Savage were on the Jerry Lewis Telethon.

Doink The Clown vs. Rich Myers

Doink has two buckets, one of which contains confetti, meaning I think you know where this is going. Myers jumps him from behind to start and gets belly to belly suplexed for his efforts. A pumphandle slam plants Myers again and there’s a nasty German suplex to make it worse. Crush calls in to talk about his recovery but then hangs up on Randy Savage, who apparently isn’t on the best terms with him. The Whoopee Cushion finishes Myers at 2:04.

Post match, yeah the other bucket has water inside, and yeah it goes on Heenan. Anything that involves Heenan doing physical comedy is a positive moment.

Post break, Doink comes out and whips out another bucket, which is more confetti.

The preview for next week reveals that it’s Scott Steiner vs. Pierre to get the Steiners another title shot.

Overall Rating: C+. This was ALL about the Tag Team Title change, but the rest of the show was so worthless that it was really hard to care. It says a lot when three squashes could be so lame that they bring down a rather good tag match but the early days of Raw had that kind of power. It’s nice to see at least one solid match though as that’s more than you get around here most of the time. The title change is kind of famous for a reason, and it happens to come in a good match. Not a great show, but the important part worked.

 

 

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Summerslam 1993
Date: August 30, 1993
Location: Palace of Auburn Hills, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 23,954
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

A lot has changed in the last year. Bret won the WWF Title about three months after the last Summerslam but lost it at Wrestlemania to the monster Yokozuna. Yoko went on a path of destruction through the WWF over the summer, but it was WCW signee Lex Luger who stood up for the USA on the 4^th of July in a body slam challenge and is challenging for the title tonight. Hogan is gone, so America’s hopes rest on Luger. Let’s get to it.

We see Luger’s Lex Express bus arriving earlier today. Luger had gone around the country in a bus to get fan support for the match against Yokozuna. Why he didn’t stay in the WWF and win matches to get a title shot is beyond me.

Ted DiBiase vs. Razor Ramon

The match starts fast as DiBiase jumps Razor coming in. Razor comes back with a quick backdrop and a slam, sending DiBiase running to the floor. Back in and DiBiase takes it into the corner for some chops, only to be reversed on a whip and clotheslined out to the floor again. Razor pulls him back in but Ted chokes away on the top rope. I love basic heel moves like that. You never see those anymore because it’s all about attitude or whatever nonsense WWE tells you now.

Heenan makes jokes about the 1-2-3 Kid, who recently defeated Ramon and triggered his face turn. A clothesline gets two for DiBiase and it’s off to the chinlock. It’s clear that DiBiase is WAY past his prime here but his prime was so good that this is still totally watchable. Razor’s arms stay up on the third drop but DiBiase takes him back down with a swinging neckbreaker. Ted sends him to the floor and rips off a turnbuckle pad, only to be sent into it himself. The Razor’s Edge is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but DiBiase was nothing more than a jobber to the stars by now anyway. This would actually be the last match in the WWF for DiBiase as he would do a quick run in Japan before retiring by the beginning of the year. The match wasn’t bad but it could have been the main event of any episode of Raw.

Todd Petingill interviews some of the Steiners’ relatives as we’re in their hometown. The sister calls Rick by his real name of Rob here.

Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies

Jim Cornette manages the challengers, who are Jimmy Del Ray and Tom Pritchard. This is part of the cross promotion with SMW. Heenan sings Cornette’s praises, which was how Cornette got over as a heel. He had debuted not long before this and Heenan immediately hugged him. Since Heenan was a heel and Cornette was a friend of his, Cornette was instantly hated. No shades of gray, no thought to it, just basic heel work. I miss stuff like that so much.

The Bodies jump the champions and send Scott out to the floor early on. A double flapjack puts Rick down and Scott is knocked back to the floor, but the Bodies spend too much time double teaming. All four are in now with the Steiners cleaning house to the delight of the crowd. I’m sure it has nothing to do with them wearing University of Michigan colors. A tilt-a-whirl slam (called a suplex by Vince) puts Del Ray down and the Steiners stand tall.

We officially start with Pritchard vs. Scott and Tom is slammed down in a BIG gorilla press. A backdrop puts Del Ray down and it’s off to Rick vs. Pritchard. Rick cleans house with Steiner Lines to send the challengers to the floor. Back in the and the Bodies finally start cheating, allowing Pritchard to hit an enziguri to send Scott to the floor, followed by a Del Ray moonsault press to wipe Scott out.

Back in and Del Ry hits a Rocky Maivia spinning DDT but doesn’t cover like the schnook that he is. Heenan has the match 1112-9 in favor of the Bodies. A powerslam gets two for Del Ray and Cornette jabs Scott in the throat with his tennis racket. Scott finally comes back with a belly to belly out of nowhere and makes the hot tag to Rick.

Everyone gets Steiner Lines (Heenan: “Mrs. Steiner just gave her daughter a Steiner Line!”) but the top rope bulldog only gets two on Del Ray thanks to a save. Cornette throws in the racket but a shot to Rick’s back is only good for two. Del Ray misses a moonsault and the Frankensteiner retains the belts.

Rating: C+. This was as by the book of a tag team match as you can get but it was still good stuff. I don’t think anyone cared about the Heavenly Bodies but that’s where a good manager like Cornette can come in handy: the fans are going to boo anyone he’s out there with, including a tag team who never did anything of note in the WWF.

A new interviewer named Joe Fowler (he didn’t last long) is with Shawn and Diesel, with the former saying he’s the best IC Champion ever. Diesel says he’s there to keep the chicks off the champ. Fowler wasn’t bad actually.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is defending. This match was literally months in the making with the WWF basically saying “this is going to be the match of the year, guaranteed.” To continue the theme of things that just aren’t the same today, Perfect is trying to become the first three time IC Champion. We also have Radio WWF with JR and Gorilla Monsoon doing commentary. Wrestling used to be broadcast on the radio back in the day, with legendary sportscaster Bob Costas doing commentary at one point.

Shawn easily takes it down to start but Perfect snapmares him down as well. Perfect takes over with an armdrag and drives some knees into the arm. Shawn comes back with a headlock out of the corner but Perfect avoids an elbow and we have a stalemate. Some LOUD chops in the corner snap Shawn’s head back and a clothesline turns him inside out for two. Back to the armbar on the champion but Shawn escapes and goes up top, only to dive into an armdrag.

Perfect puts on another armbar before catapulting Shawn out to the floor in a great crash. Perfect goes to the floor but has to stare at Diesel, giving Shawn an opening for the yet to be named Sweet Chin Music. Shawn hits an ax handle of the apron to Perfect’s back before heading back inside to drop knees onto the back. A hard whip into the corner puts Perfect down again and Shawn drops down onto Perfect’s back.

Off to a backbreaker with Shawn bending Perfect’s back over Shawn’s knee. A stiff right hand gets Perfect out and a running dropkick puts Shawn down again. Perfect gets two off an atomic drop before countering a backslide into the PerfectPlex, only to have Diesel pull the leg for the save. Diesel gets punched in the face before both guys brawl on the floor. Shawn slides back in to distract the referee, allowing Diesel to post Perfect for the countout.

Rating: C. This was ok and nothing higher than that. The ending was lame and the match was a bunch of arm/back work with no heat segment or drama at all. It was a one off match that collapsed under the weight that the company put on it by saying it would be a classic and all that jazz. Not much to see here.

Perfect gets beaten down post match with Shawn claiming to be the best ever. Perfect gives chase and catches up with Shawn during an interview with Gene. The fight winds up being Perfect vs. Diesel in a match I don’t think ever happened, unless it was on some random Raw or Superstars.

1-2-3 Kid is nervous for his PPV debut.

I.R.S. vs. 1-2-3 Kid

The Kid is relatively new at this point, having shocked the world by beating Razor Ramon in May. He also beat IRS’ partner DiBiase recently so IRS is here for revenge and to stop the Kid’s lucky streak. The Kid is launched into the air and bounces off the mat for early control but he dropkicks IRS out of the air on a second attempt. Nice psychology there, but IRS knocks him to the floor a few seconds later.

Kid comes back in with a sunset flip for two but gets caught in an abdominal stretch to drag the match out even longer. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Kid takes him to the corner for some kicks and a moonsault press for two. A side roll gets two as Heenan is losing his mind. Kid dropkicks him down for two more, but IRS hits a flying clothesline for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. What in the world was that? The Kid had been undefeated since May and you have him lose to a jobber to the stars in IRS? I don’t get the thinking here at all and it would continue to make little sense as the Kid would only lose one more singles match this year, and not again until next June. Yet he loses to IRS here? I don’t get it.

Owen and Bruce Hart say their dad is at home recovering from knee surgery but they’re here to support Bret.

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

This is the blowoff to a MAJOR feud which started at the King of the Ring. Bret won the tournament but Jerry attacked him during the coronation, saying he was the only real king in professional wrestling. Jerry comes to the ring on crutches with a big ice pack on his knee. He claims an injury from a car wreck (going into hilarious detail about a blue haired lady causing a ten car pileup) so Bret’s new opponent is the court jester.

Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown

This is evil Doink, meaning he’s AWESOME. Doink comes out carrying two buckets, one of which contains confetti to throw at the fans. The other is full of water which is thrown on Bruce Hart in the old Harlem Globetrotters trick. Bret jumps Doink on the floor and we get things going inside. Doink is punched back to the floor before he can even get his jacket off before Hart sends him into the post. Heenan talks about how Lawler was in an 18 car pileup, crawled out of the car and into a school bus, saved 40 kids from the bus and bought them all hamburgers before coming to the arena tonight. Vince’s stunned reaction is great.

Doink gets in a shot and goes up, only to be crotched on the buckle. Heenan: “He’s been de-Doinked!” Bret offers Lawler a chance to come in before dropping Doink with an atomic drop. Another Lawler distraction lets Doink hit a knee to the back before sending Bret into the steps. Doink starts working on the leg and wraps it around the post with Lawler cheering him on.

The Clown puts on an STF and Heenan swears Bret gave up. Doink transitions into a lame chinlock before putting on a stump puller (you sit the other guy down and push his head down while pulling up on a leg) to stay on the leg and neck. Bret comes back with a right and the Five Moves of Doom. He hooks the Sharpshooter but Lawler runs into the ring and breaks the crutch over Bret’s back for the DQ.

Rating: C+. The match was your usual good Bret match when he had a good opponent to work against. Lawler pretending to be injured is the perfect action for him as he’s such a slimy coward most of the time. The Bret vs. Lawler feud had incredible heat to it as the fans wanted to see Lawler get beaten up…….and then there’s this.

President Jack Tunney stops Lawler in the aisle and says get in the ring right now.

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

Bret blasts him in the head with one of Doink’s buckets before the bell. They head inside and Bret immediately pounds Lawler down and gets in a crutch shot for good measure. Lawler gets in a crutch shot to the throat and chokes away as the referee (ECW’s Bill Alfonzo) is trying to restrain the Hart Brothers.

Bret gets crotched against the post, allowing Lawler to tell the referee to go yell at the Brothers again. The distraction lets Lawler get in more crutch shots in a classic simple heel move. He stops to tell the booing fans to shut up but Bret is ready to fight. Hart destroys Lawer and even throws in a piledriver before putting on the Sharpshooter for the academic submission. He won’t let go though and the decision is reversed.

Rating: B. The match itself isn’t much from an action standpoint, but the story was perfect (Bret wants revenge) and it’s a short form clinic on how to work a crowd from Lawler. Those subtle things like distracting the referee and sneaking in weapon shots and telling the crowd to shut up are so basic and easy but you NEVER see them today. Today’s writers need to watch some Lawler matches and they’ll learn how to have a crowd eating out of a heel’s hand in no time.

It takes about ten referees plus two Brothers to pull Bret off of Lawler. Bret is told that Lawler is the undisputed King so he goes after Jerry again as Lawler is put on a stretcher. Bruce Hart gets in some shots as well but Lawler is finally wheeled off, raising his arm in victory like the true villain he is.

Unfortunately we never got the planned blowoff to this feud as some 15 year old accused Lawler of rape (she admitted she made the whole thing up and Lawler was acquitted) so the Hart Brothers vs. Jerry and three hired goons at Survivor Series never happened. That’s a shame as the reaction for Lawler being destroyed by the whole family including Stu would have been a sight to behold.

Ludvig Borga is on the streets of Detroit to show us the country that Lex Luger wants to stand up for.

Bret and his brothers say Lawler deserves a broken leg.

Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga

Borga is basically the original Antonio Cesaro but from Finland. Marty fires away to start but gets punched in the corner by the former boxer. A hard clothesline puts Jannetty down before Borga throws him into the air for an uppercut (much like Cesaro). More punches in the corner have Jannetty in trouble and a clothesline stops his comeback dead. Borga blows his nose on Jannetty before putting on a bearhug. Marty escapes and makes a quick comeback with a pair of superkicks but gets caught in a powerslam and a torture rack for the submission.

Rating: D-. This was one of the lamer squashes I can remember in a long time. Borga looked slow and limited in the ring but the rack looked good. Other than that though, Borga came off as much more flash than substance. He would get better, but at the end of the day he never quite did anything in the company.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

This is a Rest in Peace match, which means No DQ and No Countout, or a street fight as we would call it. Gonzalez has been tormenting Undertaker all year and lost to him via DQ at Wrestlemania. Gonzalez is a legit 7’7 and his manager Harvey Whippelman has stolen the Urn. Paul Bearer is absent for reasons that aren’t quite explained. The Giant pounds on Taker to start but Taker comes back with some clotheslines. A single elbow takes the Dead Man down and they head outside with the Giant in control.

Gonzalez hits some of the weakest chair shots you’ll ever see before whipping Taker knees first into the steps. Back in and Undertaker hits some uppercuts but keeps reaching for the Urn. Taker is still down when the gong rings and Paul Bearer makes his return with a black wreath. Whippelman goes after him and gets decked, allowing Paul to get the Urn back. The Giant stares down at him, Undertaker sits up, hits five clotheslines and a sixth frm the top for the pin. Seriously, that’s it.

Rating: G. As in I long for Great Khali. You often hear bad wrestlers said to be as bad as Giant Gonzalez and there’s a good reason for that: the guy is HORRIBLE. I understand the idea of the guy being huge and not needing to do much, but Gonzalez couldn’t do even the most basic stuff without screwing it up. Having seen a good deal of both, I can safely say that Gonzalez makes Great Khali look like Bret Hart.

Post match Harvey turns on Gonzalez and gets laid out.

Cornette says his men have been ripped off all night but that won’t happen when Lex Luger faces his Yokozuna. All those people Luger has seen over the country aren’t going to be able to help him now because it’s just Luger vs. Yokozuna, and the last thing Luger will hear is BANZAI!

Smoking Guns/Tatanka vs. Headshrinkers/Bam Bam Bigelow

Aren’t cowboys and Indians supposed to fight? The heels have Afa and Luna Vachon with them. The Samoans run over the Guns to start and we have Bigelow vs. Tatanka to get us going. Tatanka fires off a shoulder block and a dropkick followed by an impressive backdrop. Both guys try cross bodies and Tatanka actually gets the better of it. For a gimmick wrestler Tatanka had some good success around this time.

A double tag brings in Billy vs. Fatu (Rikishi) with the Samoan hitting a quick superkick. Billy comes back with a top rope clothesline as Vince tells us Billy went to college on a rodeo scholarship. That actually exists? Another superkick from Samu knocks Billy into the tag to Bart who is slammed face first into the mat for his troubles. Bigelow comes in with a dropkick for two before it’s back to Fatu for a wicked powerslam. The Samoans take turns double teaming Bart with headbutts and chops as the heat segment goes on for a good while.

Bigelow misses a charge and hits the post, allowing Bart to make the hot tag off to Tatanka. The Indian chops every heel in sight and takes Bigelow down with a DDT and a high cross body for two. Tatanka goes on the war path but walks into an enziguri from Bam Bam. Sometimes there’s no better solution than to kick a guy in the head. Everything breaks down and Tatanka is left all alone against the three monsters. A TRIPLE HEADBUTT puts Tatanka down and all three go up for a triple flying headbutt, but Tatanka rolls away and rolls up Samu for the pin.

Rating: B-. Where in the world did this come from??? This was a shockingly good tag match with everyone moving fast and some great looking spots from Bigelow. Tatanka was one of those guys that the fans just liked and there’s no way you can fake that. Good stuff here and a very nice surprise.

To fill in time, we talk to Luger’s bus driver. The guy is so valuable he gets to sit in the bus and watch the show on a monitor. He talks about how great Luger is and how he visited a bunch of kids.

Pettingill asks some fans who they like in the main event and the answer is obvious.

Some guy sings the Japanese national anthem.

Randy Savage is master of ceremonies for the main event and comes out with some country singer who sings the American national anthem.

WWF Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna

Remember, this is Luger’s ONE title shot. It’s a long staredown to start before Lex has to knock Mr. Fuji down. Lex starts pounding away but a single shot from the champion puts him down. Luger comes back with more right hands and down goes Yoko. A big elbow drop gets two for Luger and he avoid one from Yoko. Luger hits a running clothesline in the corner before pounding away on the champion’s head in the corner. Yoko will have none of that though and takes Luger down with a single chop.

Luger gets in some right hands but can’t slam Yoko again. Instead he gets kicked in the face and knocked to the floor with some headbutts. Out to the floor they go with Yoko choking Luger with a mic cord. A splash crushes Luger against the post but Yoko misses a chair shot. They head back inside where Luger hits two ax handle shots off the top and middle rope before a top rope forearm gets a very close two count.

A double clothesline puts both guys down and things slow down even more. Fuji throws in his bucket which Yoko uses to knock Luger out cold but only for two. A big belly to belly suplex and side slam get the same results as the champion is getting frustrated. Off to a nerve hold by the champion which eats up several minutes.

Luger fights up again but gets clotheslined down for two. To show you how impressive he is, Heenan actually compliments Luger. I don’t think I ever remember him cheering for a good guy before. Yokozuna loads up the Banzai Drop but Luger rolls away at the last minute. They fight into the corner again but Yoko misses a charge. Luger slams him down and hits the loaded forearm, knocking the champion out to the floor. Unfortunately for Luger, he also knocked Yokozuna out cold, earning Luger a countout win.

Rating: D+. This was long and slow without being very good. Luger got good reactions though, especially for the slam. It was clear that his character was nothing but warmed over Hogan leftovers but at least the fans hadn’t entirely realized that yet. This wasn’t a terrible match, but it certainly was nothing of note either. The ending wasn’t great but it was necessary to continue the story being told.

Luger celebrates with his friends to end the show despite not winning the title. We even get a music video of his push, which would be WAY more effective if Luger had, you know, WON THE FREAKING TITLE. Heenan: “This was his ONE shot!” Vince: “Don’t worry he’ll get another one!” Heaven forbid we pay attention to storylines that PPVs are built around.

Overall Rating: C+. With a Luger title win, this would have been a very solid show. There are some bad matches on here but the majority of the show works amazingly well with Bret vs. Lawler and the six man being highlights. Much like last year it’s a show where the overall show is better than its individual parts which made for a good show. Why Luger didn’t go over here continues to elude me.

Ratings Comparison

Razor Ramon vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: B-

Redo: C

1-2-3 Kid vs. I.R.S.

Original: F

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown

Original: B

Redo: C+

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: B+

Redo: B

Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: C+

Redo: G (As in I long for Great Khali)

Tatanka/Smoking Gunns vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Headshrinkers

Original: F+

Redo: B-

Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: C+

……I had no idea what I was doing back then did I?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/27/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1993-i-still-dont-get-the-ending/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

This is one of the weakest cards the series has ever seen. Nothing on the show feels important with the main event of Bret Hart defending the WWF World Title against Royal Rumble winner Yokozuna feeling lukewarm at best. The second biggest match is Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake challenging Money Inc. for the Tag Team Titles. Like I said: not the strongest card. Let’s get to it.

Gorilla Monsoon is the host this year, meaning he’ll be on screen for less than five minutes. Like everyone else, Monsoon is in a toga because it’s a toga party. I’m still not sure who thought this was a good idea.

In one of the major moments of the show, Jim Ross (JR) makes his WWF debut and talks about the main events before taking his place as lead commentator. I really could have gone through life without ever seeing him in a toga.

Finkus Maximus (just go with it) introduces Caesar and Cleopatra on an elephant while JR gives a history of elephants and Rome. This is kind of missing the point of a wrestling show but Randy Savage is brought out on a sedan to make things a bit better. To really cap it off, Heenan comes out riding a camel backwards.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Tatanka

Shawn is defending after winning the title in November and has Luna Vachon, a rather scary woman with several tattoos on her face, trailing behind him. Tatanka is still undefeated and Sherri follows him out but it’s not clear if they’re associated. Heenan: “She’s here to beg Shawn Michaels to take her back!” Savage: “Wrong again camel breath.” Shawn goes for the leg to start but Tatanka kicks him away a few times as Heenan recaps the history here, roughly three minutes after JR did so.

The champ grabs a headlock for a bit before going up top, only to dive into an armdrag. More weak armdrags send Shawn to the mat before he channels his inner Nature Boy with a Flair Flip in the corner. A Tatanka chop knocks him off the apron so Shawn has to go to the eyes (another Flair standard) to get a breather. Things speed up until Shawn charges into an atomic drop and gets caught in a DDT.

Off to an armbar from Tatanka as Shawn apparently came into this with a bad shoulder. Back up and Shawn tries a clothesline but hurts his own arm in the process and it’s right back to the armbar. A charge sends Shawn’s shoulder into the post again and we hit the third armbar in a row. There’s a shoulder breaker but Tatanka doesn’t know how to follow up (Savage: “I would have covered him right there!”) so he goes to the top and dives into a superkick (still not a finish).

Shawn throws him to the floor and hits a great looking clothesline from the apron. It’s time to focus on the women for a bit with Shawn yelling at Sherri, only to turn around and get two off a swinging neckbreaker. Things settle down with a chinlock before Shawn starts firing off left hands as the arm is suddenly fine. Shawn tries a bad looking victory roll for two before going up top again for another victory roll which is countered into an electric chair (they just repeated the spot which always exposes too much).

Tatanka goes on the warpath (his version of Hulking Up) and starts the chops, followed by a catapult into the post as Shawn is now channeling Mr. Perfect. Shawn dives into a powerslam for two and they roll to the floor as the fans chant for Sherri. Heenan doesn’t understand why they’re doing that but his questioning gets cut off as Shawn pulls the referee to the floor. The Papoose To Go (fall away slam) knocks Shawn silly but he’s been disqualified at 18:08.

Rating: B. That’s a very frustrating ending but it makes sense as they wanted to keep the title on Shawn but didn’t want to end Tatanka’s undefeated streak, leaving them with few alternatives. Still though, this was one heck of a match though a bit longer than it needed to be. The shoulder stopped being a thing about halfway through, even though Shawn stopped selling as he was known to do. Tatanka just didn’t have anything past the basics but the fans got behind him due to his charisma, which is all you need most of the time.

Shawn leaves and Luna slams Sherri on the floor.

Recent arrivals the Steiner Brothers say this is their first Wrestlemania but it’s going to be one to be remembered and they’ll make Julius Caesar proud.

Headshrinkers vs. Steiner Brothers

The Headshrinkers are Samu and Fatu (later known as Rikishi) and the Steiners are Rick and Scott, a pair of hard hitting amateur wrestling brothers. At the bell, JR debuts the term slobberknocker to make this one historic. Scott and Fatu get things going with Scott easily taking him down via a nice amateur double leg. Fatu tries to make it into a slugout but Scott just takes his head off with a clothesline. The Headshrinkers double team Scott down so he and Rick get up on the same buckle for stereo top rope clotheslines. That looked awesome.

Things settle down as JR breaks some news about Luna attacking Sherri in the first aid station. Heenan won’t go back to check for an update because the camel is back there. Heenan: “Luna probably worked over the camel too.” Samu’s head cracks off the post and Scott dropkicks Fatu for good measure. Back up and Samu tries a hot shot but drops Scott face first over the top in a sick looking landing.

The Headshrinkers’ manager Afa CRACKS Scott in the back with his staff to keep him in trouble. Fatu’s middle rope headbutt gets two and Scott is almost out of it. The bad beating continues as Fatu sends him into the post, FINALLY drawing Rick over to check on his brother. Back in and Scott makes the eternal mistake of hitting a Samoan in the head, earning him a superkick. Yeah there’s really no defending that. You don’t hit a Samoan in the head.

Samu comes in and rakes the eyes as JR tries to call the match while Heenan argues with Savage. The fans chant for the Steiners as something like the Demolition Decapitator gets two on Scott. Back up and it’s a double clothesline as the announcers argue over what states border Oklahoma. Samu misses a headbutt and Scott finally tags off to Rick for some house cleaning and Samoan suplexing.

JR calls him Dog Face (short for Dog Face Gremlin, Rick’s nickname. That brings up a good sign for Ross. Back in 1993, not everyone would watch both companies, meaning some fans might not realize that JR has called Steiner Brothers matches before. On his first match he knows Rick’s nickname, making him look like he’s done his homework) as he beats up both Headshrinkers but a double headbutt drops Rick with ease.

A double Stroke of all things sets up what looks to be a Doomsday Device but Rick belly to bellys Fatu out of the air for an INSANE counter. I’ve never seen that before or since and it still looked great. Scott tags himself in but eats another superkick, only to come back with a bad Frankensteiner for the pin at 14:22.

Rating: A-. I like this match more every time I watch it as they were beating the fire out of each other here with some of the stiffest shots you’ll find. The Steiners always worked stiff and the Headshrinkers could go step for step with them. Some of the spots here were amazing with that suplex from the shoulders being a major highlight. Awesome, hard hitting match here which never broke down into a brawl.

Call the Hotline!

Doink the Clown (very evil) has desecrated a bust of Julius Caesar but calls it art. We see Doink attacking Crush with a false arm (with Vince shouting that he took his own arm out of the socket until Savage point out that it’s obviously a cast to shut him up) to set up their match tonight. Doink thinks Crush will be seeing double vision.

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

Crush is a now big power guy from Hawaii in bright purple and orange. Doink has an umbrella with him but Crush knocks it out of his hands and rams the clown face first into the post. Some right hands to the face have no effect on Crush so he grabs a neckbreaker and keeps up the beating. Doink finally gets a break by guillotining him across the top rope. A piledriver gets no cover so Doink rams him into the post. Heenan: “Break the pineapple head!”

The Clown makes the eternal mistake of going up top and jumping straight down feet first, allowing Crush to raise a boot and take over again. Crush clotheslines him to the floor and Doink tries to hide under the ring. Amazingly enough a clown isn’t very good at keeping out of sight. Crush drags him back inside but the referee gets bumped.

It’s time for the head vice (Crush’s finisher where he squeezes his opponent’s head like a vice, making it a very appropriate name) but a second Doink pops up with the arm cast to knock Crush silly. The second Doink hides under the ring and the referee wakes up just in time to count the pin on Crush at 8:27.

Rating: D. And the really good match streak ends at two. This was a bizarre choice for a story as Crush would seem to be ready for a big push but he loses to Doink at Wrestlemania. Now to be fair, Doink is a very interesting character when he’s still all evil. Once he turned face as he was destined to do, there was no way he could be anything more than a joke. There’s certainly something interesting about an evil clown (see the Joker) but unfortunately that wasn’t going to last in 1993.

Another referee comes out and looks under the ring but can’t find anyone.

Some Japanese photographers don’t know about Doink but love Yokozuna.

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Ramon debuted late last year but the crowd is rapidly turning him face. Backlund is an old veteran who is making a nostalgia run and having some good matches despite being in his early 40s and being out of the ring for years. Ever the good sport, Backlund offers a handshake but gets a toothpick to the chest for his efforts. A LOUD Razor chant starts us off as JR hypes up the Hotline. Backlund starts fast by sweeping the leg a few times so Razor punches him in the jaw.

As the match goes on, Savage casually brings up Lex Luger knocking Bret Hart out cold earlier today. So this information has been known all day and it’s just NOW being brought up, an hour into the show? Backlund forearms him down and hooks a nice butterfly suplex, followed by an atomic drop, a high spot for him back in the day. Back up and Bob tries a slam, only to get small packaged for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: D. I guess they haven’t gotten all the filler matches out of their system yet. This was a decent way to showcase Razor but it wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world. Backlund was quite the return story but that’s the best they can do to make Razor look like a big star?

Ad for King of the Ring.

Money Inc. isn’t worried about the Mega Maniacs (Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake with Jimmy Hart, who jumped to yet another team) after crushing Beefcake’s face with their metal briefcase. Hogan has threatened to bankrupt Money Inc. but how do you bankrupt a company with an unlimited credit line? I.R.S. promises to make Beefcake’s face look like a jigsaw puzzle with some missing pieces.

Tag Team Titles: Mega Maniacs vs. Money Inc.

Money Inc is defending and Hogan comes in with a black eye, with explanations ranging from a jet-ski accident (official and most likely story), DiBiase hiring a bunch of people to attack him (storyline story) and Randy Savage punching him in the face over accusations that Hogan was sleeping with Elizabeth when she and Savage were still married (possibly true). Beefcake has a metal mask to protect his face and the team gets a decent but certainly not great reaction.

I.R.S. and Beefcake get things going but the champs are quickly double teaming. DiBiase tries an ax handle to the metal mask and hurts his hand as you would expect. Some rams into the buckle have no effect either. Come on Ted you’re smarter than this. Now we get the tag to Hogan for his first match in a year. He hammers down right hands in the corner, despite having FAR smaller muscles than he did the last time we saw him.

Hogan finally mixes up the offense with a big boot before going back to the right hands. A Piper style poke to the eye is enough to send Money Inc. walking but the referee says if they walk out, the titles change hands. As usual, Hogan has some corrupt official helping him out. Back in again and Heenan gets very close to accusing Savage of having something to do with the black eye.

DiBiase gets in a cheap shot to take over on Hulk, allowing I.R.S. to choke with a tag rope. More choking ensues until we hit the Million Dollar Dream but Hogan seems moderately annoyed by it instead of in any kind of trouble. It’s basically a chinlock with the arm trapped but Savage takes the attention off of it with this gem: “They’re hanging from the rafters……if they had rafters……but I’ll tell you what they have columns and they’re hanging from them!”

Beefcake comes in with his own sleeper to DiBiase for the save as Hogan is actually out from the hold. That’s certainly a new one. Hogan gets up at about nine and the hot tag brings in Beefcake. Well hot is a stretch as the fans don’t seem to care but it’s been a pretty dull match so far. Beefcake cleans house until DiBiase hits him in the back with the metal briefcase.

DiBiase gets smart by taking off Brutus’ mask so Heenan makes face off jokes. A double clothesline puts the champs down but Beefcake puts I.R.S. in the sleeper instead of tagging. DiBiase makes a quick save but the referee gets bumped. The tag brings in Hogan but there’s no one to see it. Hulk comes in anyway and hits both guys with the mask. Jimmy Hart tries to wake up the referee but when that doesn’t work, he turns his jacket inside out to reveal referee stripes and counts the pin to end the match at 18:43.

Rating: D. This was much more long than anything else and the whole thing got stupid at the end. Hogan was WAY past his expiration date at this point and it was pretty clear based on this match. Beefcake wouldn’t wrestle for the company again but naturally Hogan brought him in for the main event of WCW’s biggest show the next year.

Hogan and Beefcake hold up the titles, making them the only two people in the arena stupid enough to think that counts. Another referee comes out and says not quite as Money Inc. wins by DQ. Ever the good losers, Hogan poses to limited cheering but then cracks open the briefcase and gives away the money inside (along with a brick. Why you would need a brick when you have a METAL BRIEFCASE?). So now he’s stealing in addition to looking like a moron with that ending. Hogan is a four time WWF World Champion and now he thinks his manager counting a pin is supposed to change a title? What a hero: a cheating moron.

Singer Natalie Cole gets a nothing interview to say she’s having fun. The CEO of the casino is happy with everything that’s going on.

Mr. Perfect isn’t worried about Lex Luger being a knockout artist with that forearm (which contains a steel plate). He’s been on a roll this week with a hole in one playing golf and he’s been hot at the tables so let’s make it one more win tonight.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Luger is still the Narcissist and comes out with some barely clothed women that have the announcers drooling. They trade wristlocks to start and Perfect shoves the much stronger Luger into the corner. A big running knee lift knocks Luger down and a dropkick sends him to the floor as this is almost all Perfect so far.

Back in and Luger sends him into the buckle but Perfect just kind of staggers around. After that awkward selling, Perfect starts going after the knee and slaps on a spinning toehold. Back up and Perfect’s bad back is sent hard into the buckle as this isn’t exactly taking off. A backbreaker keeps Perfect in trouble and Luger rolls him up in the corner for two but gets caught with his feet on the ropes.

Perfect comes back with a sleeper but gets driven back first into the buckle. At least Luger is focusing on a body part and sticking with it. Perfect finally tries his own worst enemy and catapults Luger into the buckle. It doesn’t quite work the same but maybe the idea scared him. A missile dropkick gets two on Luger but he counters a backslide and shoves Perfect’s feet into the ropes for the surprise pin at 10:56.

Rating: D+. And that’s being generous. This really didn’t work as neither guy could get anything going. Perfect was in a weird place here as he was still talented but didn’t really have a character. Luger was just that forearm but would somehow wind up being the co-top hero in the company in just a few months. It didn’t work for either guy here though and the match was pretty boring.

Luger knocks Perfect out and walks off. Perfect slowly gets up and goes after him but gets jumped by Shawn Michaels to start their summer long feud. This triggers a big argument between Savage and Heenan with Macho Man getting up and pointing his finger in Heenan’s face. Believe it or not, Heenan actually doesn’t run away.

Gorilla previews the rest of the show.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Gonzalez is a 7’8 monster (wearing a full body skin colored spandex suit with muscles drawn on and fur at the shoulders) who was brought in by Harvey Wippleman to replace Kamala, who Undertaker dispatched to end 1992. This is the same story that would be used about thirteen years later when Undertaker feuded with Daivari’s lineup of monsters.

Undertaker comes out in a funeral chariot complete with a vulture for his first cool Wrestlemania entrance. Undertaker, a legitimate 6’10, comes up to Gonzalez’s chest. Some big forearms have little effect but Gonzalez is nice enough to sell an uppercut that clearly missed.

A low blow doesn’t have much effect on Undertaker so he comes back with Old School. Undertaker gets thrown around and we hit a standing chinlock. Gonzalez gets bored and throws Undertaker to the floor and then into the steps. The power of the urn gets Undertaker back to his feet and inside but Gonzalez headbutts him right back down. Some awkward strikes stagger the Giant and he goes down to one knee so Harvey throws in a towel with chloroform to knock Undertaker out but it’s an obvious DQ at 7:34.

Rating: F. This was awful and maybe Undertaker’s worst Wrestlemania match ever. Gonzalez was just terrible and made everyone else look bad too because no one could do anything with someone so big and awkward. On top of that, the ending sets up a rematch instead of just ending this lame feud once and for all here like they should have.

Undertaker is stretchered out and Gonzalez lumbers around the ring. Eventually Undertaker’s music plays and he staggers to the ring to clean house.

Call the Hotline!

Gene, after talking about Heenan going to buy new underwear, shows us a clip of Yokozuna crushing Jim Duggan’s ribs. Yokozuna followed it up by winning the Royal Rumble and then crushing WWF World Champion Bret Hart’s ribs at the contract signing. Enough of that though as Gene brings in Hulk Hogan, who has been talking to Bret and assuring him that all the Hulkamaniacs are in his corner. Since he was attacked last night, Hogan wants Bret to make sure he’s watching everyone around him.

Oh and one more thing: Hogan wants the first shot either at Bret or at “the Jap” if he wins the title. As for a prediction, he thinks the title is staying in the USA in the match between a Canadian and a Polynesian wrestler billed from Japan. As usual, Hulk never was one for the most in depth thinking in the world.

Todd Pettengill (a very stupid interviewer) interviews some frat boys.

WWF World Title: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

The 505lb Yokozuna is challenging and has Mr. Fuji in his corner. The announcers have spent most of the show talking about how Bret is the huge underdog after being knocked out by Luger, sat on by Yokozuna and then just being in trouble against the monster in general. Bret charges across the ring for a running dropkick and some right hands, only to have Yokozuna shove him down and shoulder him out to the floor.

Yokozuna tries to kick the champ while he’s down but Bret grabs the foot and ties him up in the ropes to get the big man down. Bret fires off more right hands and drops a middle rope elbow until the referee breaks Yokozuna free. The big man is up and slams Bret with ease before dropping a huge leg/various other parts on Bret’s face for no cover. The fans chant USA to support the Canadian so Yokozuna chokes him down before switching to a nerve hold.

Back up and Bret gets his feet up in the corner, setting up something like a middle rope bulldog for two. That earns the champ a superkick and another nerve hold to continue boring the crowd. Heenan points out the stupidity of the USA chants as Bret fights up and gets a better middle rope bulldog for another two.

A pair of clotheslines put Yokozuna down for half a second so Bret punches away in the corner. Yokozuna shoves him so hard that the turnbuckle pad is pulled off, only to have Bret ram the monster face first into it. The Sharpshooter actually goes on but Fuji throws salt in his eyes, giving Yokozuna the pin and the title at 8:56.

Rating: D+. They did what they could do here but the story of “Bret is going to get killed” is about as lame of a way to set up a title match as you can get. Bret was hammering away with everything he had but like Gonzalez (albeit a much better version), there’s only so much that could be done here, especially when you’re an average size guy like Hart. This could have been much worse but it still wasn’t much to see.

Hogan is here IMMEDIATELY after the match to plead Bret’s case. You know, like all the other times Bret and Hogan have been such great friends. Due to reasons of extreme overconfidence and stupidity, Fuji is willing to give Hogan a shot RIGHT NOW. Bret gives his blind blessing and we’re off.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Fuji throws salt in Yokozuna’s face by mistake (with the referee just watching) and it’s a clothesline and the legdrop to give Hogan the pin and the title at 28 seconds.

Hogan celebrates as Bret is completely forgotten to end the show. That would be Hogan’s last singles match until early June because he took seven weeks off before coming back to do tag matches with Beefcake against Money Inc. But hey, it’s another title win.

Overall Rating: D. This is actually a tricky one to grade. The show only runs about two hours and forty five minutes and the first fifty minutes are excellent stuff with two good to very good opening matches. I can’t call a show with an opening third that solid a failure by any means so the show gets some big points there.

That being said, the rest of the show goes off a cliff with the best match being the main event, which really isn’t any good and clocks in as the shortest announced Wrestlemania main event in history. Couple that with Hogan sneaking in to take the title in an ending that wasn’t the most popular in the world and you don’t have a great title picture going forward.

The word picture is appropriate here as well as this show doesn’t look like a Wrestlemania is supposed to. Instead of the biggest show of the year, this felt like a random pay per view in the mid to late summer, which actually would have helped it a lot. The outside venue is cool but it feels like a fun show rather than something big and epic like the show at Madison Square Garden or the shows in big stadiums.

Overall this show has too many problems working against it. The atmosphere was a failed experiment but the card didn’t do it any favors. Yokozuna was fine as a monster to be slayed but Hogan wasn’t the choice to do it, at least not two minutes after Yokozuna won the title at Wrestlemania. I’m supposed to be impressed that Hogan beat a tired Yokozuna and had to have salt in Yokozuna’s eyes to do it? That’s not a good end to any show but the fact that it was the end of Wrestlemania made it even worse.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D+

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

How is this a Wrestlemania?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/16/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-9-wrestlemania-goes-outside/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/18/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-ix-why-would-fuji-do-that/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 1993
Date: January 24, 1993
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

This is a pretty forgotten show for reasons that should be obvious. First of all, this is 1993, one of the worst years in company history from a creative standpoint. Bret is defending the title against Razor Ramon (his only world title shot ever) and we’ve got the Rumble for the title shot at Wrestlemania for the first time. I don’t know if that’s official here, but the winner did indeed get the shot at the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

Historical note: this is 13 days after the debut of Monday Night Raw.

Steiner Brothers vs. Beverly Brothers

For you ECW freaks, Bill Alfonzo is the referee. Scott and I think Blake start things off. This is the Steiners’ first major match and the fans seem to love them right off the bat. Scott immediately takes him to the mat with a top wristlock, causing Blake to freak out with a claim of tights being pulled. That sequence worked so well that they do it again. Heenan is very excited about the debut of Narcissist, which is Lex Luger as a guy obsessed with his muscles. In other words, Lex Luger debuts tonight.

After Blake stalls some more, here’s Beau to taunt the not legal Rick. There’s the tag to Rick who chases Beau around and hits Blake in the process. A powerslam puts Rick down and I don’t think Gorilla knows which Beverly is which. Since this is a Steiners match, it’s time for suplexes! Scott nearly kills Beau with a belly to belly and everything breaks down for a bit, allowing the Beverlies to take over on Scotty.

We get into a standard formula with Scott having his back worked on by both villains. Blake chokes with a tag rope in the corner for two. Heenan: “Gotta hook the tights.” Gorilla: “WHAT?” I love how shocked he sounds every time Heenan says something like that. Beau puts on a Boston Crab but Scott easily pushes out of it. Blake blocks a tag and let’s make sure that we’re LIVE still. What was WWF’s obsession with that?

Scott avoids an elbow drop but Blake breaks up the hot tag again. The crowd is silent when the Beverlies are on offense. Scott comes back with a butterfly powerbomb to put Blake down and Scott actually dives through the ropes and tags at the same time. Rick cleans house and there are Steiner Lines for both Beverlies. Scott pounds on Blake in the corner and counters a Doomsday Device with a victory roll for two. The Frankensteiner to Beau gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here as the Steiners were clearly going to dominate the entire time. The Beverlies never got above lower midcard status and their biggest feud was against the Bushwhackers. What were you going to expect them to do against the freaking STEINER BROTHERS? Nothing here but a squash.

We recap the Rockers’ time together and their split. If my eyesight is correct, you can see Shane Douglas as a jobber. After the Barber Shop incident, Jannetty was out for months. He finally returned on Superstars, setting up the match tonight for Shawn’s Intercontinental Title. During his return, Jannetty accidentally hit Sheri with a mirror, which is important to know for the match.

Intercontinental Title: Marty Jannetty vs. Shawn Michaels

Sherri is at ringside with the question being who would she side with? Why would she side with Marty anyway? I never got that. Apparently it’s because Shawn never called her while she was in the hospital….which she was in because of Marty. So why would she ever go with Jannetty? Apparently Jannetty was drunk during this match. That might make things a bit funnier if nothing else.

Jannetty controls to start, sending Shawn to the floor twice with a knee lift and a clothesline. Marty punches Shawn down on the floor and poses in the ring. He tries a punch off the top but gets caught in the ribs on the way down. Shawn loads Marty up on his shoulder and in one of the only times I can ever remember it working, rams Marty shoulder first into the post.

The champ rams the other shoulder into the post because he hit the right one the first time, and you just don’t do that. Back in and Shawn hits a shoulderbreaker before sending Marty to the floor again. Back in and the shoulder goes into the buckle, followed by a double ax right down onto it as well. We hit the armbar but Marty fights out quickly. He tries a comeback but walks into a DDT on the arm for two.

Quick sidebar: why is that move called a single arm DDT? It’s a hold used on the arm, but the double arm DDT is used to hurt the head. Also a regular DDT uses just one arm, so why is this called a single arm DDT instead of the regular one? These are the kinds of things I think about when I’m bored by a match.

Anyway, Shawn does the always stupid looking jump into the boot spot. I mean he jumped RIGHT AT Marty’s feet. What could he possibly have been trying there? Marty avoids a charge in the corner, sending Shawn’s shoulder into the post instead. Marty speeds things up and pounds away, only to have Shawn slingshot him out to the floor. Shawn goes to pick him up but Marty suplexes him out to the floor.

Sherri finally does something by slapping Shawn, who gets belly to back suplexed into the ring. Shawn gets launched to the floor again as the pace picks up a bit. A powerslam puts the champ down but Shawn avoids the top rope punch. Marty stops himself before crashing and gets two off a DDT. Shawn misses a superkick and gets caught by one of his own for two. The crowd is getting into this.

Marty slingshots Shawn so he gets to do his big bump onto the post. There goes the referee via an elbow to the face and Sherri comes in. She swings her shoe but hits Marty by mistake of course. Shawn yells at her a lot and then superkicks Marty in the chest for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. This started slow, picked up a good bit during Marty’s comeback, and then had a horribly uninteresting ending. Seriously, that’s it? These two would have a rematch soon after on Raw which won Match of the Year in a contest for least bad match of the year for all intents and purposes.

In the back, Gene yells at Sherri to calm down. Marty comes to the back for some more brawling.

Heenan and Gorilla argue a bit.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Big Boss Man

Bigelow jumps Boss Man in the corner to start and Boss is in trouble early. He gets whipped into the corner and a Bigelow forearm knocks him to the outside. This is one of those “do one move then stand around for awhile” matches. Boss Man comes back with some clotheslines and some punches to the “face” in the corner. Another right hand and a bulldog puts Bigelow down but Boss Man’s charge is countered by a backdrop to the floor.

Off to a body vice by Bigelow which is a rather dull move as usual. A hot shot puts Boss Man down for two and some shots to his back keeps him down. We hit the body vice again but Boss Man comes back with a suplex. It hurts him more than Bigelow though, as Bam is up first. Boss Man starts his real comeback with a punch to the face and a running crotch attack to Bigelow’s back. Bigelow gets a boot up in the corner and clotheslines Boss Man down. The flying headbutt gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was pure filler and not even entertaining filler. Bigelow was on the rise at this point while Boss Man would be gone in less than two months. On top of that, the match was really dull with Bigelow laying around and working on Boss Man’s back most of the time, which doesn’t make for an interesting match at all.

We get a clip from WWF Mania (Saturday morning show) of Razor beating up Owen to hype the world title match.

Razor says he’s got gold around his fingers and neck and now he wants it around his waist.

Bret says he’s ready.

WWF World Title: Razor Ramon vs. Bret Hart

Feeling out process to start with Razor getting the early advantage with some right hands. A knee in the corner misses and Bret has on the Figure Four in less than 90 seconds. Razor gets the rope so Bret drops elbows on the knee instead. The leg gets wrapped around the post before Bret goes after the other leg in the corner for some reason. Ramon comes back with a whip to send Bret ribs first into the post.

Now we get to the best part of any Bret Hart match: him getting the tar beaten out of him. Some backbreakers on the floor keep Bret down and we head inside again. Razor pounds on the ribs some more and hits the fallaway slam for two. Helen Hart (Bret’s mom) is in the front row. There’s the chest first into the buckle bump from Bret for two more and it’s off to the abdominal stretch, another Razor trademark.

As always, Bret reverses Hall’s hold into one of his own before getting hiptossed over. Bret is sent to the floor on a kickout and gets two on a sunset flip. We hit the reverse chinlock by Razor, followed quickly by a bearhug. Bret bites his way out of it and sends Razor to the outside in a quick move. The champion follows it up with a suicide dive and the comeback is on.

Bret pounds away in the corner over and over as we hit the brawl. For a guy known as a technical master, Bret brawled an awful lot. Not that he’s bad at it or anything but it happens really often. There are the Five Moves of Doom but Razor gets to the rope before the Sharpshooter is on. The second attempt doesn’t work either as Razor pulls the referee into a pile with the two of them.

Ramon goes right back to the ribs and Bret’s momentum is stopped dead. A belly to back superplex is blocked by Bret into a belly to back suplex for two for the champ. Razor clotheslines Bret down but Bret escapes the Razor’s Edge into a backslide for two. In a pretty awesome ending, Bret counters a test of strength into a sunset flip in a sweet flip counter, followed by grapevining the legs together on the mat and turning Razor over into the Sharpshooter for the submission.

Rating: B. Good match here and again, why did Razor never get more title matches? I know he wasn’t the kind of guy to make the world champion, but are you telling me that when the company was falling apart at times they couldn’t throw him in there as a token challenger? I would have bought him as legit threat to any champion, but it never happened. I’ve never gotten that. Anyway, solid match here as you would expect from these two.

Heenan unveils Narcissist, which is Lex Luger in front of a bunch of mirrors. Lots of posing commences and Heenan sounds like he’s in love. Well at least extreme lust. Luger says he’ll be dominant. Not much here. A curtain is lowered over Luger and Heenan actually gets on his knees, begging to see more. I’ve heard of overtones but this is ridiculous.

Here are Caesar and Cleopatra to hype up Wrestlemania. They read a proclamation about it and this is really stupid.

Royal Rumble

Ric Flair is #1 and Bob Backlund, going through a career resurgence at the time, is #2. Backlund drops Flair with a shoulder and does his little dance. Flair pounds him into the corner but Bob backdrops him down. Papa Shango is #3 and is dumped out by Flair in less than thirty seconds. Backlund it sent to the apron and Flair stomps away. They chop it out until Ted DiBiase, I believe half of the tag champions here, is #4.

Heenan makes fun of Backlund as the double teaming ensues, prompting Gorilla to threaten to knock Bobby out. Backlund is beaten on even more until Brian Knobs is #5. The Nasties are good guys at this point and happen to be feuding with Money Inc. Guess who he starts swinging at. Knobs almost dumps Flair but only gets him to the apron. Things slow down for a bit until Virgil is #6. The faces team up to fight the heels as not a lot is going on at this point.

DiBiase tosses out Knobs and we’re down to four in the ring again. Here’s the pretty new Jerry Lawler at #7 in a HUGE cape. I think he’s a heel here but Flair grabs him for some chops almost immediately. Flair goes to the floor through the middle ropes so Virgil goes after Lawler. Flair gets back in and Jerry immediately goes after him. Oh never mind as Heenan is praising Lawler. He’s a heel alright.

Max Moon (presumably played by Konnan) is #8. He hits a few moves and is dumped by Lawler before anyone else shows up. Lawler’s attire is really intricate here with lots of writing on it instead of the usual two color design. I kind of like it for a change. Japanese legend Genichiro Tenryu is #9 and he starts a chop-off with Flair as you would expect them to do.

Things slow down a bit until Mr. Perfect is #9 at a full sprint. Heenan: “OH NO! OH DEAR GOD NO!!!” Perfect immediately goes after Flair so Ric goes to the top. There’s the slam off the top and the Hennig Neck Snap as Heenan is having a heart attack. We hear about the loser leaves the WWF match tomorrow on Raw between the two of them, which is a very rare match for some reason.

Skinner is #11 and he does nothing before Perfect shoves Flair out to a HUGE pop. Lawler (looking very different here for some reason that I can’t place) pounds away on Hennig as we’re back down to six people in there. That’s usually the right amount so thankfully they’ve gotten through the first third without things getting too hectic. Koko B. Ware and those big green pants of his are #12. Heenan: “Koko B. Ware could go to Wrestlemania to face Bret Hart. Gorilla: “What’s wrong with that?” Heenan: “IT SHOULD BE RIC FLAIR!!!”

Perfect dropkicks Skinner out and not a lot is going on again. Here’s Samu at #13, giving us a group of Backlund, DiBiase, Tenryu, Virgil, Perfect, DiBiase, Lawler and Ware. Lawler and Perfect keep going at it in a feud that could have been AMAZING in Memphis. Berzerker is #14 as we need to get rid of some people in there. Lawler misses a charging punch on Perfect and there he goes. With Perfect distracted, DiBiase and Ware team up (you’ll NEVER hear that again) to kick him out with an assist from Lawler. Virgil was thrown out during that melee, getting us down to just six again.

The Undertaker is #15 to a BIG pop. Gorilla calls him the odds on favorite. I’m not sure I’d go that far but whatever. Berzerker goes to the floor and beats up Backlund (not eliminated) with a chair. Taker puts Samu out and no sells a lot of Tenryu’s stuff before dumping him as well. We’ve got Backlund (mostly dead on the floor), Taker, Berzerker, DiBiase and Ware in at the moment. Terry Taylor (he still had a job at this point?) is in at #16 and he’s gone in less than thirty seconds thanks to DiBiase, as is Ware.

There’s a chokeslam to DiBiase and Taker dumps him, leaving Berzerker against Taker. In one of the biggest “oh great it’s this guy” moments ever, Giant Gonzales debuts as Taker dumps Berzerker. Gonzales, a legit 7’7 tall, stares down at Taker as Damien Demento (don’t ask) is #17. Gonzales chops Taker out for an illegal elimination. In case you’re not familiar, Gonzales is a monster who makes Great Khali look like Lou Thesz. Speaking of Khali, he was literally the same character as Gonzales in a repeat of the same exact story the Undertaker was involved in in 1992. In short, both of them sucked and were really tall.

Gonzales destroys Taker for a bit as Demento still won’t get in. IRS is #18 as the Giant is still beating up Taker. It’s IRS, Backlund and Demento at the moment with Taker out cold in the corner. Tatanka is #19 as Paul Bearer uses the Urn to revive Taker. This of course is all the fans focus on, making the match in the ring look even less interesting than it already is, which is saying a lot when you think about it. Lots of choking ensues until Jerry Sags is #20.

There is NOTHING going on here and I don’t think Typhoon at #21 is going to help things at all. Fatu is #22 and my goodness I have never heard more silence for an entrance. NOTHING is going on here and Earthquake is #23. He immediately goes after….Typhoon, his partner. They have a fat man brawl for a bit until Quake dumps him out. Carlos Colon, aged 44 and called a youngster by Monsoon is #24.

Colon dumps Demento as the eliminations are keeping the crowd on life support. Quake can’t put Backlund out as Tito Santana is #25. Fatu misses a charge at Backlund and eliminates himself. We’ve got Quake, Backlund, Santana, IRS, Tatanka, Colon and Sags in there at the moment. Rick Martel is #26 who is STILL feuding with Santana. Why did they never have a big match to blow off that feud? It went on for like four years or so.

Earthquake dumps IRS and now we get to the first interesting part of the match in WAY too long: Backlund is sent to the apron and the crowd collectively gasps until he gets back in. Gorilla actually swears at how big the reaction is. Yokozuna is #27 and it’s time to clear some space. Yoko and Tatanka chop it out and there goes the guy with red hair (figure out which is which).

Colon is out and it’s time for the fat man showdown with Quake vs. Yoko. They collide a few times and no one moves so Quake pounds him into the corner. Owen Hart is #28. Quake splashes Yoko in the corner but the second attempt misses. Yoko suplexes Quake out and that more or less seals the winner. Repo Man is #29 and is immediately dropped by Yoko. Everybody gangs up on Yoko and it doesn’t work at all.

Randy Savage is #30, giving us a final group of Savage, Yokozuna, Repo Man, Owen, Martel, Santana, Sags and Backlund. They’re not even trying to hide the winner at this point. Yoko dumps Tito as Owen dropkicks Sags out. Owen skins the cat to save himself before being dumped by Yoko and possibly injuring his knee. Repo is out and we’re down to four. Backlund actually picks up Martel to sit him on top and punches him out. The place is WAY into Backlund here, so he goes after Yoko. A pair of dropkick put Yoko against the ropes but Backlund charges into the elimination, drawing a standing ovation.

So it’s Savage vs. Yoko and the beating of the small man begins. Yoko flattens him over and over again until Savage fires off a bunch of kicks out of the corner. The fans are trying to get behind Savage and there’s a top rope ax handle. One to the back gets Yoko down to one knee. Uh…why would you want to knock a guy this big DOWN in a battle royal?

Either way he superkicks Savage to knock him down again and there’s the belly to belly. The legdrop crushes Savage but the Banzai Drop misses. In one of the STUPIDEST endings ever to the Rumble, Savage hits the elbow and COVERS, getting launched over the top rope on the kickout to send Yoko to Las Vegas for the title shot.

Rating: D. This was one of the worst Rumbles of all time. The main problem here is the period after Taker, the only guy you could actually see eliminating Yoko, was eliminated. From then until the time Backlund got close to the longevity record (which he got), there’s NOTHING. It’s a bunch of lame midcarders standing around lifting each others’ legs in the air. Why would I want to see that at all? Anyway, nothing to see here and a BAD Rumble.

Overall Rating: D+. There’s a reason no one cares at all about 1993 WWF: it’s really not very good. The title matches here aren’t bad but other than that, this show is pretty freaking terrible. The Rumble sucks the life out of the show, as the highlights are a two minute segment between Flair and Perfect and the Backlund part at the end. When the whole match is 65 minutes long, that doesn’t hold up. Weak show here.

Ratings Comparison

Steiner Brothers vs. Beverly Brothers

Original: C-
Redo: D+

Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty

Original: C
Redo: C+

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Big Boss Man

Original: D+
Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Razor Ramon

Original: B
Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D+
Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D
Redo: D+

Not much change here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 22, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett, Randy Savage

Wrestlemania is inching closer and last week saw what felt like the start of a big angle for the show. Money Inc. attacked Brutus Beefcake’s face with a metal briefcase, which can cause quite a bit of damage. The bigger story though is the tease of the return of Hulk Hogan, which should get them somewhere. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Rob Bartlett finds out that wrestling fans can spell and does a “Live From New York” Saturday Night Live ripoff intro.

Opening sequence.

Commentary runs down the card.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Scott Taylor

Taylor bounces off of Bigelow to start as commentary jokes about the chance that Taylor could make a name for himself. Drop the Taylor and add y 2 Hotty and you might be onto something. The beating continues as Bartlett moves on to what sounds like Mickey Mouse talking about the Three Stooges. Bigelow plants him down again and adds a headbutt to the back to make it worse. A butterfly backbreaker sets up the top rope headbutt, followed by a second to finish Taylor at 2:59.

We get a previously recorded sitdown interview with Hulk Hogan (in a black and white ICO PRO shirt and jeans for a very different look) and Vince McMahon, the latter of whom talks about Hulk suggesting he would retire in this same studio last year. Hulk, referring to Vince as Mr. McMahon, says that the people who used to be his fans are now the people he looks up to. There have been a lot of people who have looked into his past and they have found out that he has made mistakes. He has made personal mistakes, business mistakes and peer pressure mistakes.

We’re in the 90s and that means the era of tabloid terrorism (oh boy) where people make up whatever they want and don’t care what happens to them. If you believe in yourself, you can accomplish your goals and he believes in the youth of our nations. Now there are five demandments: train, say your prayers, eat your vitamins, believe in yourself, and believe in HULK HOGAN. He’ll have an announcement tonight.

I’m assuming this is about the steroid issues and what was said on the Arsenio Hall show in 1991, but Hogan never actually flat out said he was wrong, or what the heck he was specifically talking about. Such is Hogan, but this was bizarre to hear (including hearing him refer to himself as a sports entertainer).

Beverly Brothers/Shawn Michaels vs. Tatanka/Nasty Boys

How 1993 of them. It’s a brawl to start with the villains being cleared out in a hurry as Bartlett wonders about the rules. We settle down to Knobs faceplanting Blake, setting up the double Pit Stop. A boot to the head slows Knobs down though and it’s off to Shawn for an elbow. Knobs manages to faceplant Shawn as well though and scores with a running clothesline, allowing the tag to Michaels.

That means Beau needs to come in rather quickly so Tatanka can crank on his arm. Sags takes his place and the arm is sent hard into the corner a few times. A shoulder breaker gets two with Beau making the save, finally actually doing something right. Knobs sends Blake into the corner and we take a break. Back with Bartlett saying they stood around looking at each other during the break, only to reveal that he’s kidding. Uh, yeah.

Anyway, we come back with Knobs being sent into the steps twice in a row to keep him in trouble. The Shaker Heights Spike gives Shawn two on Knobs as the fans are behind the Boys again. The slow beating continues, including Shawn kicking Knobs in the head. Beau sits on Knobs’ back to keep him away from the cornet but Shawn ducks his head and gets kicked in the face.

That’s STILL not enough for Knobs to make the tag so he collides with Shawn to put both of them down. The hot tag brings in Tatanka to start the comeback and everything breaks down. Tatanka scores with the top rope chop for two with Blake having to make the save. The Papoose To Go gets two more thanks to another save as everything breaks down again (Bartlett: “Aren’t there too many guys in the ring now?”). Shawn loads up the teardrop suplex but Tatanka reverses into a sunset flip for the pin at 14:13.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t so much good as much as it was long, but it did feel like a bigger match than most of what you would get on Raw around this time. If nothing else, it had some actual names involved and it did feel somewhat important. Not exactly good, but sometimes you just need to make things feel a bit bigger.

BUY WRESTLEMANIA TICKETS!

Crush vs. Terry Taylor

Joined in progress with Crush shoving him down and there’s the gorilla press to send Taylor crashing down again. Vince mentions that Hulk Hogan might be heading up the President’s Council on Physical Fitness….so Bartlett calls in and does an Arnold Schwarzenegger impression to complain about Hogan taking his job. Taylor gets in a shot and puts on a chinlock as thankfully the bit is over in a hurry. A neckbreaker gives Taylor two but Crush fights up, leaving Bartlett to make topical Las Vegas jokes. Crush hits the tilt-a-whirl powerslam and finishes with the head vice at 3:37 shown.

Rating: D+. Nothing to this one and Bartlett dragged what they had WAY down. Crush seemed like he was ready to jump up the card in a hurry but what are you expecting him to get out of a feud with Doink? Beating Taylor in a short match didn’t help that much either, but at least he got in his finisher for the win. How you don’t call that something like THE CRUSH is beyond me though.

We look back at Money Inc. dumping Jimmy Hart and hitting Brutus Beefcake in the face with the steel briefcase a few weeks ago.

Here is Hulk Hogan for his first appearance on the show and my goodness this feels out of place. Hogan, sounding much more like his usual self, sucks up to the fans and talks about waiting to see Brutus Beefcake making his comeback last week. He saw Beefcake outwrestle the Multi Million Dollar Man but then the smile turned to tears as the briefcase hit Beefcake’s face. The good news is that Beefcake is ok though and the curled up nose makes him look even more like a wrestler.

Hogan thanks God for saving Brutus and Jimmy Hart (yes he knows this sounds crazy) for putting his body on the line to protect Brutus from another shot. Hogan, calling Vince “Little Dude”, says he is back in the WWF and wants to right the wrongs from Money Inc. For now though, Hogan wants Beefcake here in the ring with him so here is Beefcake, with a taped up nose, in a hurry.

Beefcake talks about how he didn’t realize he was going to take the briefcase to the face last week but he thought it was curtains. Then he realized that nothing was going to break his titanium face, but now he has some people to think as well. Just like Hogan, that would be God and Jimmy Hart, but he wants Money Inc. too. With that out of the way, Hogan brings out Jimmy Hart as their new manager, which blew my mind as a kid and is still weird to see now. Hart talks about how great of a day this is because he has always wanted to wear the yellow and red.

Hogan looks a little confused as Hart talks about his success with tag teams but thinks this could be the greatest team ever. Jimmy promises to take his vitamins but thinks Money Inc. needs to say their prayers. Hogan dubs the team the Mega Maniacs and tells Hart to get Money Inc. in singles or tag matches. It’s not a good sign when Hogan has been in a team for 14 seconds and is already wanting a singles match. Anyway, a lot of posing ensues. This was rather long and still feels really weird, but what else was Hogan supposed to do at Wrestlemania?

BUY WRESTLEMANIA TICKETS!

They’re still posing.

Undertaker vs. Skinner

We’re joined in progress and Vince realizes we’re running out of time. Then five seconds later we go to a Slim Jim ad, followed by less than a minute of Skinner beating Undertaker up on the floor to end the show at about 1:15 shown. Vince promises to let us see this show next week, plus Bret Hart defending the WWF Title against one of the Headshrinkers. Which one? Eh who cares.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a bit of a tougher one to get through as the big pieces were a not so great six man and a LONG Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake/Jimmy Hart interview. That doesn’t leave much to get excited about, but at least they are getting ready for Wrestlemania. It doesn’t feel like a special show, but they are in a new world at this point so it’s hard to get things together.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 15, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett, Randy Savage

We’re back after a week off and the big story is Brutus Beefcake returning to the ring after nearly three years away due to a horrible injury. That seems like it should be setting up something for Wrestlemania, though I’m almost worried about what else we might be seeing on here. Let’s get to it.

Here are the most recent show’s results if you need a recap.

Brutus Beefcake is ready to get back in the ring against Ted DiBiase.

Ted DiBiase is ready to crush Brutus Beefcake’s face again, though Jimmy Hart thinks that’s a bit too far. Jimmy showing humanity still feels wrong.

Opening sequence.

Commentary welcomes us to the show, with Randy Savage saying God and Hulk Hogan are a great tag team and they have Brutus Beefcake’s back. That might be a bit much.

Steiner Brothers vs. Bobby Who/Glen Ruth

Thankfully Vince mostly ignores Bartlett’s Who’s On First jokes but can’t ignore Savage’s issues, as he can barely be heard. Scott suplexes Ruth down in a hurry to a big reaction, allowing the tag off to Rick to drive him into the corner. There’s an overhead belly to belly to Who as Savage is demanding a producer get out here and fix his microphone. Scott loads Who up in a powerbomb with Rick coming off the top with an elbow for a huge crash. Bartlett: “Does that hurt?” Rick grabs the chinlock as Bartlett talks about having a bad Valentine’s Day. Scott plants Who with a tiger bomb and the Steiner Bulldog finishes at 3:33.

Rating: C. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I could watch the Steiners throw goons around for hours on end. That’s what we got here, and it was slightly more entertaining because of the Savage audio issues. Sometimes you need an entertaining squash and the Steiners suplexing people out of their shoes is always worth a look.

It’s time for the Wrestlemania Report, with Gene Okerlund being very excited about the show being in Las Vegas. We even have some matches, with Bret Hart defending the WWF Title against Yokozuna, Crush vs. Doink the Clown and Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez. Doink and Giant Gonzalez are the second and third matches announced for Wrestlemania. I think you can see why the show was in trouble.

Yokozuna vs. Ross Greenberg

Savage is still losing it over the microphone and sounds like he is calling in to the show. Yokozuna stands by for about a minute to start and then runs Greenberg over like he isn’t even there. Greenberg gets crushed again and there’s the running splash in the corner. The Banzai Drop finishes for Yokozuna at 2:01 in true squash fashion.

Post match Savage steals Bartlett’s microphone, which makes me think we’re in the middle of a bad bit.

We get a Special Report, brought to you by the WWF Poster Magazine (oh the memories). This week it’s a clip from Superstars, with Jim Duggan getting beaten up by Yokozuna but actually managing to with a running shoulder. That’s a cool moment, and Yokozuna’s selling as he tries to keep his balance is great, as he really was a lot more awesome than he was given credit for. Then Yokozuna mauled Duggan and left the American flag laying as Duggan did a stretcher job.

Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji are happy with what happened to Duggan.

Giant Gonzalez wanted in tonight’s battle royal but everyone else said they were out if he was in. We see a clip from Superstars with Gonzalez beating up three jobbers, including Louis Spicolli, at once.

Battle Royal

Bob Backlund, Koko B. Ware, Typhoon, Kamala, Tito Santana, Razor Ramon, Shawn Michaels, Owen Hart, Kim Chee, Berzerker, Kamala, Skinner, Damien Demento, Iron Mike Sharpe, Terry Taylor, Tatanka

This aired on the Invasion of the Bodyslammers VHS tape (with some different commentary) so I’ve seen this about thirty times but have only heard it once for a weird situation. Everyone slides in from the floor to start for a bit of a change and it’s Kamala chasing Kim Cheer early on. Backlund tosses Sharpe and Michaels gets rid of Ware to clear the ring out a bit. Skinner is caught in between the top and middle ropes but gets loose, only to be clotheslined out by Typhoon.

Santana sends Ramon into the turnbuckle over and over, possibly as repayment for coming up with the Ramon name (true story). Demento is tossed and Berzerker does the same thing to Owen. Berzerker is out as well, followed by Kim Chee and Typhoon getting rid of Kamala. That is not acceptable to Kamala, who goes after Kim Chee and tosses him out, meaning the chase is on through the crowd. We take a break and come back with Tatanka, Taylor, Typhoon, Michaels, Backlund, Ramon and Santana but we pause to look at Kamala chasing Kim Chee through the balcony.

We come back to the arena with Taylor and Backlund gone and Michaels tossing out Typhoon. Shawn and Razor team up against Santana and Tatanka, which could be a heck of a tag match if they had the chance. Razor knocks Santana down and Tatanka hammers away on Shawn in the corner. Santana comes back with the flying forearm and Shawn dropkicks Tatanka as the pairs switch off.

The good guys get together to send Shawn into the buckles over and over before tossing him out to get us down to three. Santana and Tatanka go after Razor…and here is Giant Gonzalez to throw both of them out. Gonzalez leaves and the bell rings at 16:10 because Ramon was smart enough to roll outside, meaning he’s the only one left to win.

Rating: C-. This was kind of a lame battle royal but it was definitely a clever ending. It’s also the kind of thing that Ramon would brag about so everything fits well here. Kamala chasing Kamala around was hilarious and I got into the final four part, so this was about as much fun as you could have in such a random battle royal.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Ted DiBiase

Jimmy Hart is here with DiBiase and doesn’t seem happy with the match taking place. Beefcake struts away from a lockup to start and frustration sets in early. It works so well that Beefcake does it again, this time before sidestepping DiBiase into the corner. They finally go with a regular lockup as Hart isn’t thrilled with how things have gone so far. Beefcake slugs away and DiBiase is knocked outside in a hurry.

Back in and Beefcake works on a headlock before punching DiBiase outside again. Back in again and DiBiase tries to send him face first into the buckle but Beefcake counters that into a headlock in a hurry. Cue IRS with the briefcase, though Hart doesn’t seem to want him around. The headlock is broken up so IRS hits Beefcake in the back with the briefcase for the DQ at 4:27.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what to say on this one as it was a bunch of punching and headlocking before the storyline ending. Beefcake was in good shape, but how can you tell how well he is doing when most of his old offense was hitting someone in the face? This is going to be a bigger deal soon, but for now it’s just a short match built around about two moves.

Post match IRS loads up the briefcase but Hart won’t let him hit Beefcake in the face. IRS finally shoves Hart down and blasts Beefcake in the face with the case. Thrashing and gyrating on the mat ensue so DiBiase tries to do it again but Hart covers Beefcake up. Money Inc. leaves and Beefcake is taken out on a stretcher while holding his face.

That was so brutal so we’ll look at it in slow motion! And then in real time!

Back from a break and apparently Beefcake is on his feet. Vince is so upset that he thinks HULK HOGAN could be here next week.

Overall Rating: C-. The throwing stuff at the wall approach continues as there is only so much that can be done at this point. We are about a month and a half away from Wrestlemania and you can pretty easily guess the other big match on the card. Maybe the rest of the TV will be better, but Raw is so new at this point, how can you really tell? Not a horrible show this week, but the Beefcake deal was the only part that felt important.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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