Royal Rumble 1996
Date: January 21, 1996
Location: Selland Arena, Fresno, California
Attendance: 9,600
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

We’re in the Monday Night Wars era now and it’s all about Shawn at the moment. He’s back from injury and in the Rumble tonight, looking to become the second person ever to win back to back Rumbles. Other than that we’ve got Bret vs. Undertaker which is another of those matches that can be hit or miss. It’s hard to say what we’ll get here….well not really because I’ve seen this show a bunch of times. Let’s get to it.

We open with Sunny in a bathtub, saying this show is graphic and view discretion is advised.

The opening video is about how the champion is defined by Hart, as in Bret Hart. Tonight though he’s against a force who has no heart, in the form of Undertaker. The IC Title match (Ramon vs. Goldust) and the Rumble are talked about as well.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ahmed Johnson

Last month at IYH, Jarrett hit Johnson with a gold record to set this up. Johnson is basically Ezekiel Jackson with a bit of skill and charisma. Jarrett immediately bails to the floor to hide. Back in he tries a hiptoss and Ahmed is like boy are you stupid or something? A headlock is easily countered by a throw from Johnson and a clothesline takes Jarrett down. There’s a World’s Strongest Slam for two for Ahmed and things slow down again. Johnson misses a clothesline by a mile but Jeff sells it anyway of course.

A cross body misses as well but this time Johnson goes flying over the top, getting his hand caught in the ropes on the way down. A HARD whip into the steps puts Johnson down and we head back in. Ahmed starts no selling stuff and catches a dive in a bearhug. That goes nowhere so Johnson sends him to the floor and hits a big dive. Back in and Ahmed misses a FREAKING SWANTON (remember that he weighs like 280) and there’s the Figure Four from Jarrett. Johnson powers out of it twice, so Jarrett cracks him with the guitar off the top for the LAME DQ.

Rating: C-. I was always an Ahmed fan so this was an easy pass for me. The image of the Swanton looked great if nothing else, which is more than enough to give this a pass. Jarrett was such a mess at this point and never went anywhere in the WWF. The ending completely sucked though and it really brought things down.

BUY OUR STUFF!

Diesel isn’t worried about the Rumble tonight and doesn’t think it’s Vader Time. He doesn’t care who he faces at Mania, but he isn’t happy with Taker being the #1 contender.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

The Bodydonnas are Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Prichard with a BIG haircut). They have Sunny with them and my goodness is she smoking (no pun intended) here. The Guns are defending. Skip and Billy start things off with Skip taking over with a headscissors. Just like Ahmed earlier, Billy misses a charge against the ropes and crashes to the outside. Both Gunns get double teamed until Bart ducks out of the way, allowing a charging Billy to dive onto both Donnas on the floor.

Things settle down a bit and it’s back to Billy vs. Skip with the champion in control. Sunny hits on Bart until it’s Bart vs. Zip. A gorilla press puts Zip down but he makes a blind tag, allowing Skip to take over. The champions are fine with the double teaming stuff too, and take over on Skip very easily. Sunny gets on the apron and is knocked off just as quickly, giving us a nice upskirt shot in the process.

Now we get to the important part of the match as Billy goes to check on Sunny, allowing the Donnas to pound away on Bart. Skip hits a nice plancha onto Billy before suplexing Zip onto Billy for two back inside. Billy gets to play Ricky Morton for awhile, being put in a chinlock by Zip. This goes on for awhile until we get a sloppy spot where the Donnas collide and Skip rams heads will Billy. This would work a bit better if Billy wasn’t about eight inches taller than Candido.

Hot tag brings in Bart and everything breaks down with the champions taking over. The Sidewinder (side slam/guillotine legdrop combo) crushes Zip but Sunny’s distraction lets Skip break things up and take Zip’s place. Ignore the fact that one has the straps of his singlet up and the other doesn’t, and the fact that they look as different as Demolition did. In an ending the Expresses used back in the 80s, the Donnas load up a double suplex on Bart, but Billy spears Skip down, causing Bart to fall on Zip for the pin to retain.

Rating: C-. Tag wrestling at this time was really weak with very few solid teams anywhere to be found. The Gunns were ok at best and the Donnas were only popular because of Sunny. Billy would turn heel relatively soon and would eventually join up with Road Dogg to form the New Age Outlaws and turn the division completely upside down. Nothing much to see here but it certainly wasn’t terrible.

We get some of the Billionaire Ted skits, which were unfunny shots at Ted Turner. Not his wrestling company directly, but Turner himself. I’m still not sure why they decided to do these but no one liked them and they came off as mean instead of funny or witty. Note Vince Russo as one of the executives in the board room skit.

We recap Razor vs. Goldust, where Goldust is hitting on Razor to mess with his mind before the match tonight. To say Goldust’s character got them in hot water around this point is a huge understatement.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Goldust

The yet to be named Marlena debuts with Goldie here. Razor is defending as is his custom. Feeling out process to start with Goldust playing his usual mind games, which means rubbing himself. Razor cranks on the arm before grabbing a headlock which goes nowhere. Goldust goes behind Razor and molests him a bit to psych Razor out even more. They head to the corner with Razor having his head rubbed a bit, ticking him off even more.

Razor goes for the arm so Goldust slaps him in the face. Perfect keeps making sex jokes as Razor slaps Goldust right back in the face. He spanks Goldie once as well, but the painted dude likes it. We head to the floor where Goldust hides behind Marlena as the stalling continues. Back in and Razor tries three straight headscissors before punching Goldust to the floor with a single shot.

We get more stalling which is called playing mind games before Ramon clotheslines him right back to the outside. Razor has to move Marlena out of the way, allowing Goldust to FINALLY do something, taking over with a shot to the ribs. Back in and Goldust focuses on the ribs, but not too much because that might mean we have some speed to this match. A bulldog gets two for Goldust as does a slingshot belly to back suplex.

Off to a sleeper, which Perfect suggests Goldust could use to do “whatever he wants” to Goldust. Much like everything else in the match, this goes on way too long until Razor fights up and kicks Goldust low. He’s so spent though that Goldie gets a two count, causing Razor to start his comeback. He fires off his usual punches and the chokeslam gets two. A belly to back superplex hit but Marlent distracts the referee, allowing the 1-2-3 Kid to come in and kick Razor’s head off. Goldust gets the easy pin and the title.

Rating: D-. Sweet freaking goodness this was dull. It went on WAY too long and had a bad ending on top of that, plus the stupid “psychology” from Goldust which wound up being more unpleasant than interesting or intelligent. Goldust would get WAY better when he became more of a comedy/parody character rather than this freaky dude that he was to start his WWF run. The matches got a lot better as a result too.

Wrestlemania 12 is coming.

We get the usual promos for the Rumble, but we start with a statement from Shawn’s doctor who says he’s back and healthy. Thankfully this is kept VERY short and he’s not dull. We hear from Owen, Roberts, Lawler, Horowitz, Vader and Shawn. Shawn would be the most obvious winner ever in the Rumble since…..well since last year when he was the absolutely obvious pick to win.

Vince and Perfect talk about the Rumble a bit.

Royal Rumble

HHH is #1, having lost a match on the Free for All to Duke Droese, who won the right to be #30. Henry Godwinn is #2 and I believe he’s feuding with HHH at this point. Helmsley pounds away in the corner to start but gets backdropped down very quickly. The intervals are back to two minutes this year thank goodness. Trips pokes him in the eye and chokes away until Bob Backlund is #3. Backlund saves HHH before pounding away on him. These wide shots are showing how nearly empty the upper deck is.

Jerry Lawler is #4 as HHH hits the jumping knee to the face of Godwinn. The fans chant Burger King and you know Lawler isn’t going to pass up a chance to rile up a crowd. He goes to get the slop bucket that Godwinn brought with him, but Henry clears the ring and gets the bucket, throwing it over the top onto Lawler and some of Backlund. Bob Holly is #5 and things slow down a bit until HHH erupts on Godwinn for some reason.

We get some slow paced elimination teases until Mabel is #6. Still nothing happens so here’s Jake Roberts at #7 to an ERUPTION. No one is eliminated yet. Jake throws in the snake and everyone but Lawler can get to the floor. After nearly giving him a heart attack with the snake, Lawler disappears for a good while as he hides under the ring. Mabel gets tied up in the ropes and pounded on for a bit until Dory Funk Jr. is #8.

The DDT is countered by HHH as we hear about a friendship between Terry Funk and Bruce Willis of all people. Backlund and Funk go at it because they’re both old and I doubt Dory knows most of the other people in the ring. Lawler is seen hiding under the ring. Yokozuna is #9 as there are WAY too many people in the match at the moment. Backlund puts Dory in the chickenwing and is eliminated by Yoko for a prize. Yoko crushes Godwinn in the corner but Mabel splashes Yoko, killing Henry in the process.

The 1-2-3 Kid is #10 but Razor charges down the aisle to chase him away (not eliminated). Officials get Razor off the Kid but it takes Mabel beating Razor down to stop the chases. It amazes me that Razor wasn’t in more Rumbles. Come to think of it….he was NEVER in a Rumble. Omori, a Japanese star that doesn’t mean much yet, is #11. At the moment we’ve got HHH, Godwinn, Lawler (under the ring), Holly, Mabel, Roberts, Funk, Yoko, the Kid and Omori in the match.

Wait where is Godwinn? I guess he went out off camera. Yoko and Mabel double team Omori until Jake pounds away on Yoko to the loudest reactions of the match so far. Funk hits a double underhook suplex on the Kid as Savio Vega is #12. He spinwheel kicks Mabel down, allowing Yoko to dump the reigning King (Mabel if you’re lucky enough to not remember that gimmick). Omori goes out thanks to Roberts and things slow down again.

Vader debuts at #13 and lumbers around while not doing much. He picks Bob Holly of all people to beat on first as Vega eliminates Dory. Vader pulls Savio back in from the apron for no apparent reason other than he wants to beat on him some more. Doug Gilbert from Memphis is #14 and HHH goes right after him for no apparent reason. Vader and Yoko slug it out to a big reaction but Vader has to stop to clothesline Roberts out.

The camera work in this is really bad as they keep looking at corners of the ring instead of the full thing, making us miss a lot of stuff. Savio pounds on Vader until one of the Squat Team members (BIG fat guys who are there because they’re fat and look alike) is #15. Vader sloppily throws Gilbert out and does the same to the Squat Team dude. Yoko and Vader slug it out again and people respond again.

The other member of the Squat Team is #16 but they both get in to double team Vader. The Mastodon (Vader) punches their faces in as only Vader can do before knocking them both to the floor. Owen Hart is #17 and everyone but Yoko is on one side of the ring for some reason. Vader and Yoko double team Savio who doesn’t seem interested in selling at all. A pair of splashes in the corner crushes him, as do a regular splash and the big leg from Yoko.

Shawn is #17 to a decent pop but significantly smaller than Jake’s. Vader throws out Savio as Shawn goes after HHH and the Kid. Vader and Yoko slug it out a bit before slugging it out a lot. They fight against the ropes, so Shawn gets a running start and dumps them BOTH AT ONCE. Now THAT wakes up the crowd. If that’s not enough, Shawn gorilla presses (!) the Kid to the floor as the ring is suddenly very thin. Hakushi is #19 as the big guys fight on the floor.

Scratch the floor part as Vader gets back in and cleans house, but none of the eliminations count because he’s not legal. Once he’s finally taken away, we’ve got Shawn, HHH, Holly, Hart, Hakushi and Lawler underneath the ring. Tatanka is #20 as Shawn thrown Jim Cornette, Vader’s manager, out. Hakushi hits a Muta elbow on Hart in the corner as HHH of course goes after Shawn.

Michaels teases a bunch of eliminations to try to make us think he’s not winning. Owen dumps Hakushi as Aldo Montoya (Justin Credible with a jock strap over his face) is #21. Shawn gets sent through the ropes to the floor, where he pulls Lawler out and sends him back into the ring. Tatanka puts out Montoya as Shawn puts out Lawler.

Here’s Diesel at #22 and house is cleaned. There goes Tatanka at the hands of the tall one and it’s time for Shawn vs. Diesel which gets a pop but is too short to mean much. Kama (Godfather) is #23 as this continues to go slowly. Shawn pounds on Holly (why is he still in this?) in the corner as Kama and Diesel slug it out. The Ringmaster (Steve Austin who is brand new here) is #24. He’s in white boots which is a really strange thing to see for him.

Shawn does his usual overblown self safe as Holly and Austin fight. FINALLY Holly goes out after nearly forty minutes. HHH vs. Austin happens about three years before it would mean anything. Barry Horowitz (with the AWESOME rock version of Hava Nagila) is #25 and he goes after Diesel. Well no one ever accused him of being brilliant. Shawn nips up to knock Owen to the apron, but Hart skins the cat back in. Cool little sequence there.

HHH punches Diesel, so Diesel grabs him by the head and LAUNCHES him to the floor. The Game made it about 48 minutes which isn’t bad at all. MAKING A DIFFERENCE Fatu (don’t ask. PLEASE don’t ask) is #26 and he doesn’t do much. Shawn and Owen can’t suplex the other one out so here’s Isaac Yankem DDS (Kane) at #27. The ring is WAY too full but Barry is put out to thin it out a bit.

Owen hits the enziguri on Shawn which put Michaels on the shelf leading up to this match. Shawn hangs on AGAIN though and puts Owen out while we’re looking at a double feature. Austin kills Shawn with a clothesline and here’s Marty Jannetty at #28. Fatu superkicks Kane as the burst of energy from Marty is already gone. Shawn and Jannetty go at it because they’re former partners. Perfect: “They’re rocking now aren’t they?” They punch each other down and the British Bulldog is #29.

Smith goes right for Shawn because of what happened last year. I love little bits of continuity like that which you never get anymore. Davey puts out Marty as Fatu GOES OFF on Austin before clotheslining him out off camera. Yankem puts out Fatu and here’s Duke Droese at #30. The final group is Shawn, Droese, Diesel, Smith, Yankem and Kama.

Smith and Michaels fight to the floor and Owen jumps Shawn for good measure. Shawn shrugs it off and goes in to dropkick Yankem out. Kama and Diesel put out Droese to get us down to four. Shawn clotheslines Smith out before skinning the cat back in. Diesel dumps Kama and Shawn superkicks the tall one (in the shoulder) out to win for the second year in a row.

Rating: D. Oh this was DULL. The problem here was that like last year (although to a MUCH weaker degree), there were very few guys you could buy as a winner here. It’s FAR better than last year’s match but the crowd was dead for long stretches of this, mainly due to boredom. You could see the star power of the future, but that’s the problem: they weren’t stars yet and no one bought them at this point. The match isn’t bad, but it’s definitely not good if that makes sense.

Diesel is ticked off about the ending and goes back in as Shawn is stripping. They do their old Wolfpack thing in the middle of the ring (a high five where Shawn has to jump) and all is cool. Shawn poses for a long time post match.

Oh yeah we’ve got a thirty minute match left to go.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

Bret is defending and Taker is still in his skull mask period. Diesel is still straggling behind and stares at Taker during his entrance. They brawl with neither guy getting much of an advantage. Since this is WWF, we recap what we just say two minutes ago. After all that, here’s the world champion. Taker stands in the middle of the ring and Bret circles him for a bit. Hart pounds away in the corner and Taker stares at him.

Taker LAUNCHES him into the corner which is one of my favorite of his moves. He chokes Bret in the air and moves very slowly. Off to a smother hold which goes on for a LONG time. Bret finally makes the rope so there’s Old School….which sets up the smother again. Bret fights up and hits a middle rope clothesline followed by a regular one to send Taker to the floor. There’s a dive to take out the challenger as this finally picks up the pace a bit.

Bret tries to dive off the apron at Taker but is pulled out of the air and rammed into the post. Taker rams him into various other things until Bret reverses a whip into the steps, trying to damage Taker’s knees. Back in and Bret works over the knee as this is going nowhere. The Figure Four goes on….and on…..and on……and Taker turns it over.

Bret gets to the rope, so let’s put on ANOTHER LEG HOLD! It’s that always riveting one where Bret drops an elbow on the leg and just lays on it. This is also known as the Dusty Rhodes Special. He does however mix it up by trying to take off Taker’s mask. After being in this for literally about three minutes, Taker smashes his free leg on Bret’s head before we head back to the floor. Taker chokes away with a cord and sends Bret into the barricade as we head back in.

The champ goes back to the freaking knee as the fans loudly boo Bret. Taker’s leg is wrapped around the post a few times and it’s back to laying on the leg. Dear goodness get this over with already. We’re over twenty minutes into this and NOTHING has happened. To save my sanity the hold doesn’t last as long this time and Taker fights back. There are some legdrops and a clothesline as Taker’s knee seems fine. He loads up the Tombstone but Bret slides down his back and guillotines Taker on the ropes.

A DDT puts Taker down and Bret starts headbutting the back. We get the Russian legsweep but Taker sits up. The bulldog takes Taker down and there’s the middle rope elbow. Bret gives the fans a thumbs down and loads up the Sharpshooter. Taker grabs him by the throat to block it but Bret knees him in the ribs. A double clothesline puts both guys down and we lay around a bit more.

Bret is up first and takes off the buckle from a corner. He goes for the mask again and gets it off to reveal….the same Undertaker we’ve seen for like five years at this point. Seriously he looks fine. Taker fights back but gets rammed into the exposed buckle. That gets no sold and it’s a Tombstone for Bret. Since this is such a dull match though, Diesel pulls the referee out at two for a DQ.

Rating: D+. This started VERY slow but got better for the last ten minutes or so, but the ending brings it right back down again. If this had been a fifteen minute match or so it would have been WAY better, but they only had so many other matches on the card, meaning this had to be longer. Diesel would face Taker at Mania of course.

Gorilla Monsoon makes Diesel vs. Bret for the title at the next PPV.

Shawn says the 90s will be his time.

Taker comes in to yell at Gorilla, saying that Diesel won’t be champion on his watch. Gorilla makes it a cage match so Taker can’t interfere.

Diesel goes on a big rant about how he’s not afraid of the dark and says he’s going to have his hands in everything from now on because the WWF is running on Diesel Power. This was his official heel turn.

Cornette says Vader cannot be ignored. He pretty much was until Summerslam.

Overall Rating: D. This is a really weird show to grade because while most of the matches got bad grades, it’s not that bad of a show overall. Don’t get me wrong: it’s bad, but it’s really not as bad as it sounds. The first two matches are certainly watchable, but they’re not that good. The Rumble is also passable, but it’s dull at times. Not horrible, but definitely not worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Ahmed Johnson vs. Jeff Jarrett

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

Original: D

Redo: C-

Goldust vs. Razor Ramon

Original: D

Redo: D-

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Undertaker

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D-

Redo: D

Amazingly enough I liked it a bit better this time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/15/royal-rumble-count-up-1996-shawns-texas-two-step/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Survivor Series 1996
Date: November 17, 1996
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,647
Commentators: Jim Ross, Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

I had three options for an older redo this year (this one, 1988 and 1992) but this one had the most Survivor Series matches plus Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart, which was more than enough to sway me over. This is an interesting time for the company as they’re just starting to get squashed by WCW but the future is here tonight. Let’s get to it.

Free For All: Team Bart Gunn vs. Team Billy Gunn

Bart Gunn, Aldo Montoya, Bob Holly, Jesse James

Billy Gunn, Salvatore Sincere, Justin Bradshaw, The Sultan

This would be the Kickoff Show today. I’ve actually never reviewed this and there’s a chance I’ve never even seen it before. The team names are pretty arbitrary as there’s little rhyme or reason for these pairings, save for maybe the brothers, meaning no one is really a captain. James (Road Dogg of course) is a country singer here and the REAL Double J as part of a stupid angle with the departed Jeff Jarrett. Ok so I might have With My Baby Tonight (his self-performed theme song) on my iPod. At least the angle wasn’t a total loss.

As the Sultan (Rikishi) and Aldo (Justin Credible as a Portuguese man with a jockstrap for a mask) start us off, JR mentions that Austin vs. Hart is a #1 contenders match, which really wasn’t mentioned very often on the actual pay per view. Montoya actually does some damage to Sultan by dropkicking him out to the floor but a cover results in him being launched off. A bad looking piledriver sets up the camel clutch and Montoya is eliminated in a hurry.

Holly comes in with a bulldog as we see Aldo walk up the ramp opposite the cameras (an MSG standard). Sultan grabs a chinlock and we take a break to come back with Sultan slamming Bart on the floor so Sincere (a flamboyant yet still generic Italian) can baseball slide him in the face. Back in and Bart grabs a side slam to get rid of Sincere and tie the match up.

Bradshaw (who JR says is going to be something special) comes in and kicks the freshly tagged Holly in the face. We go to a split screen to see Austin running Dok Hendrix out of his dressing room and come back to Bradshaw hitting the Clothesline From an Undisclosed Location to eliminate Holly.

Jesse immediate rolls Bradshaw up for the elimination (ignore Billy kicking Jesse and breaking up the pin at two while the referee keeps counting anyway), leaving us with Jesse and Bart vs. Billy and Sultan. A rollup gets rid of Sultan but the Fameasser (yet to be named) does the same to Jesse. We’re down to a battle of the Gunns and Bart gets tied up in the ropes for some trash talking. Billy calls him an SOB, meaning he isn’t likely to get a Christmas card from his own mother. Bart stands up for Mama Gunn and hits a running forearm for the pin.

Rating: C-. This is a good example of a match where you have to consider the purpose. They weren’t trying to settle any big score here or blow the roof off the place. This was about getting the fans warmed up before we got to the real show and the fast pace did that well enough. Billy vs. Bart wasn’t anything interesting but at least it was a little story to tie things together. Nothing good but it did its job well enough.

The opening video looks at the WWF taking over New York (including the Hall of Fame banquet at a hotel, which would be the last one for seven and a half years) before going into a look at the two major matches. You know you have a stacked card when you’re getting hyped over two matches that don’t even include Undertaker vs. Mankind or any of the show’s namesake matches.

Team Furnas and Lafon vs. Team Owen Hart/British Bulldog

Doug Furnas, Phillip Lafon, Henry Godwinn, Phineas Godwinn

Owen Hart, British Bulldog, Marty Jannetty, Leif Cassidy

This is Furnas and Lafon’s WWF debut as they were brought in to challenge Owen and Bulldog for the Tag Team Titles. Marty and Lafon (I can never remember which is Furnas and which is Lafon) start things off with a nice little acrobatics display, capped off by a hard shot to Marty’s jaw. Leif comes in instead as the announcers talk about slander. The slow pace continues and it’s off to Phineas for a headlock. JR: “You ever see Hilary Clinton do that?”

For some reason Leif thinks it’s a good idea to slap Phineas in the face and spit on him. Well to be fair, given all the sweat and liquid on his overalls, it’s not the worst idea in the world. Owen comes in to wake the crowd up and it’s time to pick Phineas apart. The heels start working Phineas over as JR wants a third referee out here.

Marty hits a good looking back elbow to the jaw as the announcers start talking about Bret, though at least they tie it in to Owen. Today that would go off on a tangent and turn into ripping on Byron Saxton. I mean, he deserves it but it’s still annoying. Marty goes up top so Phineas tries a superplex. JR: “Now how stupid was that?” Oh dang it I always forget how annoying heel JR is. Even heel Cole wasn’t this bad.

Henry comes in, kicks Marty in the gut, and Slop Drops him for the first elimination. Not that it means much as Owen rolls Henry up to tie the score five seconds later. Phineas cleans house (has a fit, whatever) but Bulldog makes a blind tag and powerslams him to go up 3-2. Furnas comes in to speed things WAY up (and turn up the quality as well), only to miss a dropkick, which JR calls one of the best in the business. Like I said, heel JR wasn’t the best.

Leif comes in to cover and the former powerlifter sends him flying on the kickout. The bad guys get smart with a blind tag and a springboard missile dropkick to wipe Furnas out in a great looking visual. JR goes into yet another rant about the referees not catching the heels cheating, which is a really weird complaint for a heel to have.

Cassidy misses a charge and Furnas brings in Lafon for a snappy looking reverse superplex to get us down to two on two. The lack of a reaction to Leif being eliminated really shouldn’t surprise anyone as he was just so out of place in this match. Owen comes in for a belly to belly and a middle rope elbow (both of those looked very smooth) for two. A low blow to Furnas has Vince freaking out but JR, the heel commentator here, lets it go right past him. Again: it was a bad character and you could sense he wasn’t a fan of the whole thing.

It’s back to Bulldog who is quickly sunset flipped for the elimination, which is a big deal as it means Furnas and Lafon can pin Owen and the Bulldog in a two on two match. Bulldog leaves Lafon with a parting gift of a chop block though and Owen follows it up with the Sharpshooter. Furnas is in for the save and hits that dropkick of his (basically a dropkick with a backflip), followed by a German suplex for the final pin.

Rating: B. This was more like it for the opener as they set up the next challengers for the Tag Team Titles, though the first part with the Godwinns really brings it down. It also doesn’t help that the crowd didn’t care for the most part, and can you really blame them? The good guys were people making their debuts and hog farmers. It’s good wrestling but not the brightest idea.

Paul Bearer insists he WILL NOT get into the cage and be hung above the ring. Mankind will crush Undertaker like the cockroaches he used to eat for dinner.

Undertaker vs. Mankind

Bearer is in an individual cage above the ring and if Undertaker wins, Bearer is his for five minutes. The entrance is an important one as Undertaker descends from the rafters and debuts the sleeveless leather attire that would become his signature look for the next several years. It marks the evolution of the original character to the newer, sleeker fighting machine that could hurt people at will.

It’s a brawl to start (duh) with Undertaker using a drop toehold (?!?!?) followed by a fireman’s carry into a cross armbreaker. Undertaker gets smart by working over Mankind’s hand, which JR thinks is illegal. Mankind takes it into the crowd and is quickly backdropped right back to ringside but pops up for a cannonball off the apron. There’s something to be said about someone launching their body at someone else.

Undertaker’s comeback is cut off by a Texas piledriver and the Mandible Claw goes on. Undertaker is smart enough to send Mankind straight outside for the save and both guys are spent from the physicality. A kick to the chest sends Mankind flying hard into the barricade for a sick sounding THUD. You just can’t fake that kind of brutality. Well you can but it’s easier to believe it’s real with Foley.

Old School is broken up so Undertaker opts to punch Mankind in the face multiple times. The chokeslam is countered with the Claw, only to be countered by a big chokeslam with the camera going wide for an awesome visual. Mankind is back up though (as always) and pulls out a spike to stab Undertaker a bit. Amazingly enough, Undertaker doesn’t care to be stabbed and Tombstones Mankind for the pin instead.

Rating: B. This was a BIG change of pace for Undertaker as he was moving faster and acting like a much more well rounded wrestler, which he would be for a long time. These two were solid together as always as they just beat the heck out of each other for long stretches of time and that’s always worth a watch. This is one of their lesser known matches but it’s certainly entertaining.

Post match the cage is lowered and Undertaker goes right for Bearer, only to have the Executioner run out for the save, allowing Bearer to escape. That would be Undertaker’s next match before he continued attempting to murder Bearer and Mankind.

Sunny comes out to replace Lawler on commentary. When you look at so many of the women who would come after her, Sunny really is remarkable. She looks great but she’s also dripping with charisma, which so few women (or men for that matter) have at this level.

Team Helmsley laughs off the idea of Team Marc Mero because they’re a man down due to Mark Henry being injured.

Team Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Team Marc Mero

Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Jerry Lawler, Goldust, Crush

Marc Mero, The Stalker, Rocky Maivia, Jake Roberts

There’s a lot to cover here. Helmsley is Intercontinental Champion, having stolen the title from Mero with the help of the now departed (to WCW) Mr. Perfect. The Stalker is Barry Windham who used to be a military themed guy but is now just Barry Windham with a big mustache. Roberts is Mark Henry’s replacement as Lawler and Roberts are feuding over Jake’s alcoholism.

Oh and it’s Rocky’s debut after weeks of videos talking about how amazing he is. The mind blowing part: they undersold what he would become. The commentary gets even more entertaining as Sunny goes nuts ripping on Sable, claiming to be all natural even down to her hair.

We hit the stall button to start with no contact for the first two minutes. After several tags, Goldust and Mero finally lock up as the announcers discuss Mr. Perfect without saying he’s gone. Marc’s armbars don’t go anywhere so it’s off to the Stalker as JR rips on Barry’s attire. Helmsley comes in and immediately runs from Mero, meaning we get Crush vs. Rocky for his in ring debut. Thankfully that lasts all of ten seconds before it’s off to Lawler for some great selling. Vince actually mentions the name Dwayne Johnson as Sunny suggests being able to take Rocky all the way to the top.

The heels start taking turns on Rocky until he backdrops Helmsley for a breather. Jake gets the hot tag to clean house despite looking a good bit out of shape and very pale. Lawler comes in and slowly hammers away while making alcohol jokes. The DDT scores out of nowhere and it’s 4-3 in a hurry. The mustache with the Windham attached suplexes Goldust for two but a shot from the apron sets up the Curtain Call to tie us up.

Both captains come in as the crowd stays mostly silent. Again though, is there any real reason to care? Crush isn’t interesting, Roberts looks awful and no one knows who Rocky is yet. Helmsley grabs an abdominal stretch and Goldust pulls on the arm, sending heel JR into his second frenzy in an hour.

The referee finally catches Helmsley cheating to break the hold and it’s a Merosault (moonsault pres) to get rid of Hunter. Crush comes in and gets dropkicked to the floor, only to avoid Mero’s slingshot dive. As we’re watching the replays, the announcers completely miss Crush giving Mero the heart punch (exactly what it sounds like) for the elimination. Jake gets the same thing and is eliminated ten seconds later.

So we’re down to Rocky, meaning we get a closeup of his ridiculous looking hair. To his credit, even Rock has said he looked ridiculous at this point. Rocky slugs both guys down and does that stupid arm flailing thing of his. A crossbody puts both guys down and Crush heart punches Goldust by mistake. Rocky hits a second crossbody to get rid of Crush and a shoulder breaker ends Goldust for the win. The pin gets a nice pop, though it might just be because the match is finally over.

Rating: D. They accomplished the goal of giving Rocky a good rub to start (hence why you have goons like Crush around to take a fall like this) but this was WAY too long. You could probably cut out five to ten minutes here and do just about the same thing. Windham was worthless (as he was for most of the time after 1990 or so) and there were way too many stretches of boring non-action dragging it down.

Now it’s time for the real main event as we recap Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin. I know Shawn vs. Sid is going on last but make no mistake about it: this was the most important and anticipated match of the night. Bret had been gone since losing the WWF World Title to Shawn at Wrestlemania XII and Austin has turned into a disrespectful rebel who doesn’t care about legacies or what anyone before him has done. You can see the fire in Austin’s eyes and Bret is the only one that can stop him. Or slow him down at least because there may be no stopping Austin anymore.

Austin says he’s ready and isn’t worried.

Bret says this is about respect, which he’ll receive from Austin no matter what.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

The winner gets the title shot next month. Even Vince has to acknowledge the face pop Austin receives here in New York. Bret gets a great face reaction of his own but Austin really isn’t impressed with the pyro. JR thinks this might come down to a submission, which might be some great foreshadowing for Wrestlemania. He goes even further by saying Bret isn’t a clown or a trashman because he’s a wrestler. Uh, Doink and Droese were wrestlers to Jim. We’re still not ready to go as Vince possibly spoils the main event by saying the winner of this gets Sid.

Austin flips him off to start and we’re ready to go. Feeling out process to start as JR goes back to that submission idea. Vince: “How ironic would it be if Steve Austin put the Sharpshooter on Bret Hart and made him submit?” They trade wristlocks to start and you can see some extra fire in Bret for this match.

Bret takes him down and stays on the arm with a hammerlock until a hard elbow to the jaw puts him down. Austin keeps slugging away until Bret pulls him into another armbar. Bret: “ASK HIM!” Did Jericho get that from Bret? Steve comes right back with a hot shot and starts choking on the bottom rope.

We hit the chinlock and JR goes back to that submission idea again. That’s three times now and it’s really not adding anything new. Back up and it’s time for the slugout with Austin easily taking over as you would expect. Bret comes back with his usual offense but gets shoved chest first into the buckle, again as is his custom. Austin’s superplex is broken up though and Bret goes all the way to the top for the elbow.

They head outside with Austin driving the back into the post as the brawling continues to favor Austin while Bret wins the wrestling. Makes sense. Of course as soon as I say that, Bret throws him through (yes through) the barricade and Austin is suddenly reeling. Just because it’s required, they fight over the announcers’ table with Austin taking over (JR: “It seems that it always happens to the Spanish guys!”) and dropping an elbow onto Bret. The table actually doesn’t break though in a very rare sight.

Back in and we hit the abdominal stretch as Austin continues to know how to focus on a body part. The referee catches Austin holding the ropes (which doesn’t add leverage but helps block a hiptoss counter) so it’s time for a slugout, capped off by Bret hitting a Stun Gun for two. Austin is right back up with a top rope superplex but Bret does the lifting the legs spot (looked horrible here as they were both down for several seconds before going for it) for two.

The Stunner hits out of nowhere for two and JR makes a REALLY good save by saying Bret only kicked out because Austin rolled him away from the ropes. That protects the move, which is completely lost on today’s product. Austin grabs a Texas Cloverleaf, followed by a Bow and Arrow of all things. Unfortunately Austin makes the mistake of trying to mat wrestle with Bret and has to grab the ropes to avoid a Sharpshooter. Back up and Austin grabs the Million Dollar Dream but Bret walks the turnbuckle and flips back onto Austin for the surprise pin.

Rating: A+. Like this would get anything else. I know most people (including myself) say that the I Quit match made Austin a star but he’s not getting to that match without this one. Austin was always a great talent but this was the moment where you knew he was ready for the main event stage. Notice something important about the ending: Bret caught Austin for the pin rather than really decisively beating him. It shows that as great as Austin is, Bret was just that much better and used his experience to win.

Make no mistake about it though: this is a masterpiece and one of the best matches of all time. Unfortunately there was a rematch that is somehow even better and this is a bit forgotten as a result. I’ve heard people say they like this one better and I really can’t argue against that. It’s a must see match and an incredible lesson in giving someone the rub of their career.

JR: “I don’t think anyone, including Shawn Michaels or Sid, could have beaten Bret Hart in this ring on this night.” Vince: “I totally disagree with that.” No followup or anything and the tone was very heelish.

Sid says he’ll win.

Faarooq/Vader/Razor Ramon/Diesel vs. Flash Funk/Savio Vega/Yokozuna/???

Here’s another match with a bunch of notes. Faarooq debuts his traditional Nation look here, thankfully ditching the ridiculous blue gladiator gear. Flash Funk is also making his debut after years as the far better 2 Cold Scorpio. That would be fake Razor and Diesel (duh) with the former just looking horrible. Fake Diesel at least looks like the real thing if you look at him from the right angle. Again, the original idea here wasn’t bad: it’s the gimmicks that got them over instead of the people. Unfortunately that falls apart because Fake Razor looked horrible.

Jim Cornette (Vader’s manager) sits in on commentary and JR says he’s the same size as Yokozuna. Cornette sounds like he wants to cry when he sees Funk for the first time. JR: “I’ve never seen the yellow and red look so good here in the Garden.” The mystery partner is Jimmy Snuka, which gets a mild reaction from the MSG fans and a groan from the audience at home who already saw a legend return with Roberts earlier.

Vader slugs Funk down to start but is quickly sent outside for a moonsault to the floor. You can hear the ECW chants before they even start. Back in and Vader gets tired of this flying nonsense and powerbomb Funk in half. Yokozuna comes in for the embarrassing fat man offense as JR rips on the refereeing again. It’s off to Vega vs. Ramon as the crowd isn’t sure what to care about here.

JR and Cornette argue about whether JR could manage a Wendy’s. JR: “I could if you were in town.” Razor screws up the fall away slam and thankfully it’s off to Funk vs. Diesel so we can get something watchable. Vega comes back in and gets pummeled in the corner as this is already dragging horribly. Snuka get the tag to a pretty anemic pop and quickly runs into Diesel’s knee. In a big surprise, Snuka actually slams Vader. Not bad for a guy who hasn’t been around in forever.

Jimmy almost runs over for the tag back to Vega, who hits maybe 10% of a spinwheel kick on Diesel. Faarooq rams him into the post and the Jackknife ends Vega to hopefully start wrapping this up. The Superfly Splash ends Ramon less than a minute later and then the remaining six come in for the big brawl, resulting in a massive DQ and no winner.

Rating: F-. If there’s a worse Survivor Series match not involving four clowns, my therapy must be working because I’ve completely blocked it from my mind. This was HORRIBLE with eight people that the crowd wasn’t interested in seeing and a nothing ending that only made things worse. Absolutely terrible here as they couldn’t even have Vader survive to give him a bit of a rub?

We recap the main event which is basically Shawn fighting another monster but this time it’s someone he used to trust. Yeah this is hardly anything interesting and feels like a major letdown after Austin vs. Hart. Also, given how badly the ratings were doing around this time, there’s almost no way Shawn is keeping the title here.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Sid

Shawn gets a John Cena style pop as a sign of the times. Sid is challenging of course and pounds Shawn down early on with JR getting right to the point: Sid isn’t technically sound but he can hit you really hard, which is all he needs to do. Shawn speeds things up with some left jabs and a headlock takeover.

The threat of a powerbomb sends Shawn bailing to the outside and we have a breather. Back in and Shawn gets smart by going after the knee, including a Figure Four (actually done on the proper leg). The hold is turned over and Sid sends him shoulder first into the post to take over. Shawn goes right back to the knee and the fans boo him out of the Garden. Thankfully they catch on to the idea and Sid blasts Shawn to the floor with a clothesline.

Back in and Sid gets in a few kicks to the face, followed by a big backbreaker for two. We hit a cobra clutch of all things (Sid would use that occasionally and it always looked weird for someone his size) before a chokeslam drops the champ. Shawn hits his flying forearm and is loudly booed, though the nipup draws a high pitched pop.

Sid grabs a camera and hits Shawn’s manager Jose Lothario in the chest, followed by Sweet Chin Music to the giant. With Jose grabbing his chest, Shawn goes to check on him instead of retaining the title. Sid tries to throw Shawn back in and the referee gets bumped, allowing Sid to hit him with the camera. The powerbomb gives Sid the title (somehow the first title he ever won) to a BIG face pop.

Rating: B+. I don’t like the ending with the camera thing but it’s still a really well put together match. This was pretty much Ric Flair vs. Sid and since Shawn knows how to wrestle a Flair match as well as anyone ever (including Flair), there was almost no way this wasn’t going to work. They let Shawn walk Sid through the match and that was all they ever needed to do.

Shawn checks on Jose as Sid poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade as the Survivor Series matches were horrible but everything else ranges from very good to masterpiece. That’s more than enough to say this is a great show and worth checking out. If nothing else there are so many debuts and repackages here that it’s worth checking out for pure history. The MSG crowd helps provide so much energy and the show is just a lot of fun (save for the one horrible match, which only lasts about ten minutes). See this one at least once but watch Bret vs. Austin as many times as you can.

Ratings Comparison

Team Jesse James vs. Team Billy Gunn

Original: N/A

2012 Redo: N/A

2016 Redo: C-

Team Furnas and Lafon vs. Team Owen Hart/British Bulldog

Original: B-

2012 Redo: C+

2016 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Mankind

Original: C+

2012 Redo: B

2016 Redo: B

Team Jerry Lawler vs. Team Jake Roberts

Original: D

2012 Redo: C+

2016 Redo: D

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

2012 Redo: A+

2016 Redo: A+

Team Vader vs. Team Yokozuna

Original: D-

2012 Redo: F

2016 Redo: F-

Shawn Michaels vs. Sycho Sid

Original: C-

2012 Redo: B

2016 Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2012 Redo: B+

2016 Redo: B

This was mostly the same as four years ago, save for me liking Rocky’s debut a lot more back then. That smile must have made me go weak in the knees.

Here’s the original review is you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/15/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1996-bret-vs-austin-the-prequel-and-rock-debuts/

And the 2012 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/04/survivor-series-count-up-1996-thats-blue-chip-right-there/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

SuperBrawl VI
Date: February 11, 1996
Location: Bayfront Center, St. Petersburg, Florida
Attendance: 7,200
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Dusty Rhodes

It’s a double main event here and that should make for a good show. The two main events happen to both be inside a steel cage, with Randy Savage defending the World Title against Ric Flair, plus Hulk Hogan vs. the Giant. Other than that, we have the usual variety of title matches, plus a respect match between Brian Pillman and Kevin Sullivan which I’m sure won’t mean much. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a very, very generic “here’s a voiceover listing off the matches”, though at least the guy doing the voice is energetic.

Commentary hypes up the cage matches.

Public Enemy vs. Nasty Boys

Thank goodness this is a street fight. It’s a brawl to start with the Nastys being sent outside with the Enemies following them. That means it’s already time for a table, but Sags chairs the heck out of the table wielding Rock. Grunge chairs Sags right back and the table is set up at ringside. Knobbs slams Rock off the apron and through the table for two (as street fight apparently means falls count anywhere) as Sags comes back with a trashcan (actually complete with trash for a change).

Back in and Sags piledrives Grunge through a trashcan, with Grunge getting a foot on the rope for the save. Knobbs suplexes Rock through a table at a merchandise stand which would only be there for this segment as fans wouldn’t be allowed near there. They take turns smashing each other with trashcan lids until Knobbs is laid on a table, with Rock missing a flip dive through the table. Knobbs hits him with a piece of the table for the pin at 7:49.

Rating: B. I can appreciate the idea that the four of them didn’t bother trying to do anything other than beat the fire out of each other. It’s not a good match and barely wrestling, but that’s exactly what they were going with here. That made for an entertaining match and I had a good time with the whole thing as they were certainly putting in the work here.

Gene Okerlund talks about how two former WWF champions could be on their way to WCW. I’m sure that won’t go anywhere. Anyway, Konnan is ready to defend the US Title and won’t let the fans down. He’s beaten the One Man Gang before and he’ll do it again.

TV Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Badd is defending and is putting up the title and the Diamond Doll (Kimberly) and the winner gets her remaining Bingo winnings, which is about six and a half million dollars (1996 WCW was weird). It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Page being whipped into the barricade. Badd flips him over the top, leading into the regular discussion of whether or not that counts as a DQ.

Back in and Badd gets in a snapmare into a backslide for two but Page knocks him down without much trouble. Page wants a TEN from Kimberly, who turns him down, and then talks a lot. Badd’s sunset flip gets two but Page is back with a running tornado DDT. Instead of covering, Page poses and yells even more (Heenan: “Oh no.”) so Kimberly gives him a ZERO.

Page chokes away and grabs the chinlock as things slow down a good bit. Back up and Badd gets two off a rollup, followed by an ax handle. Badd hits him in the ribs, with Schiavone saying it was right in the solar-plexus. Heenan: “That’s just outside of Phoenix. About 20 minutes.” A top rope sunset flip and a sitout powerbomb give Badd two but Page plants him right back down. The sleeper goes on but Badd jawbreaks his way to freedom, setting up a sleeper of his own. That’s broken up so Badd hits a quick Tombstone for the pin at 15:00.

Rating: C+. This was around the time when Badd had gotten rather good at everything he did and figured out his style to the letter. That was on display here, as his high flying stuff worked well and he felt like a star in the making. It’s also weird to see Page as anything less than the polished star he would become, but he was far different at this point.

Harlem Heat is ready to fight Sting and Lex Luger for the Tag Team Titles. Then they’ll move on to face the Road Warriors (who get the winners of Harlem Heat vs. Sting/Luger later tonight).

Tag Team Titles: Sting/Lex Luger vs. Harlem Heat

Sting/Luger are defending. Booker knees Sting into the corner to start so it’s off to Luger. Some forearms have Booker in trouble but he gets up a boot to stop a charge in the corner. It’s already back to Sting, with Booker grinding away on a headlock. Sing suplexes his way out and hands it off to Luger, who misses that big elbow that has missed every time ever, allowing the Heat to take over. The slow beating is on and we hit the nerve hold on Luger, with commentary talking about how hard it’s going to be to wrestle again tonight.

Booker comes back in for a heck of an ax kick and grabs the front facelock. Heenan wonders why Sting won’t come in and Rhodes says that Sting isn’t a dummy. Yes he is. Luger makes the tag but the referee doesn’t see it, but Sting comes in anyway and hammers away. Ray pulls the top rope down to send Sting outside, leaving Luger and Ray inside. Cue the Road Warriors to hit Ray in the ribs with something made of metal to give Luger the pin at 11:49.

Rating: C-. Rather boring match for the most part here, with a lot of laying around and going in slow motion, which shouldn’t be the biggest surprise as Sting and Luger have another match tonight. Sting and Luger are a big time tag team, even if they have some issues (to put it mildly). Not much of a match here, but there are some extenuating circumstances.

Post match Sting and Luger are happy with their win, though Sting doesn’t know what happened with the Road Warriors, with Luger moving them along before anything can be said.

US Title: Konnan vs. One Man Gang

Konnan is defending after taking the title from the Gang a few weeks ago. Gang hammers him down in the corner to start, which is about all you should expect from him here. Back up and Konnan hits a dropkick to send him into the ropes, where a crossbody sends Gang outside. A running flip dive off the apron drops Gang again but he drops Konnan again without much trouble.

Back in and Gang slowly hammers away, including a side slam, and we look at a WCW Motorsports driver in the crowd. Konnan fights up and hits some dropkicks but misses another, allowing Gang to hit the 747. Gang pulls him up at two and commentary realizes this is stupid. The middle rope 747 misses (ignore that Konnan had moved before Gang jumped) and a top rope flip dive gives Konnan the pin at 7:48.

Rating: D+. There’s just only so much you can do with this kind of a match. The Gang is someone who can do well enough, but that wasn’t the case here as he was just doing the big man offense and then screwed himself over. The interesting note: Gang was only 36 years old here. He’s one of those guys who looked WAY older than he was as I would have guessed he was in his early to mid 40s by this point.

The Road Warriors have no issue with Sting, but they’ll do anything to hurt Luger, which is why they took out Harlem Heat earlier. Tonight, it’s time to take the titles back. Hawk says they’ll be deviating septums and detatching retinas.

Taskmaster vs. Brian Pillman

This is an I Respect You strap match, as they’ll be tied at the wrist with a strap and you only win by making your opponent say “I Respect You”. They go straight to the brawl to start and trade some whips with the strap (which isn’t attached yet). Pillman grabs the mic and says “I RESPECT YOU…..BOOKERMAN” to give Taskmaster the win at 59 seconds.

Ok so what happened here. Basically Pillman was doing his Loose Cannon thing and he and Sullivan (or Eric Bischoff, depending on who you believe) decided to work everyone. This wound up resulting in Bischoff firing Pillman, who was supposed to go to ECW and then come back. The catch was he wound up signing with the WWF instead, which was basically what he wanted all along and needed to get out of his contract with WCW. In theory at least, as it’s one of those stories that has about 14 different versions over the years.

As for here though, Arn Anderson comes out in street clothes and he’ll be doing the match with Sullivan instead.

Arn Anderson vs. Kevin Sullivan

Anderson hammers him down to start and ties up Sullivan’s legs. That’s broken up and Sullivan gets in a low blow before whipping away. Back up and Anderson whips away as well, allowing him to choke Taskmaster in the ropes. That’s not enough yet so Sullivan fights back, only for Ric Flair to come out and call it off, saying it’s time to take out Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan. They seem to agree and we’ll call it a no contest at 3:25.

Rating: C. They didn’t have time to do anything here and that’s the smart move, as there was no reason for these two to be fighting. It’s a fine example of “they did what they could”, which was giving the fans the violence advertised, albeit not with the right people. I can’t bring myself to get mad at them here as it’s not their fault that they were thrown into a rough spot.

Post match they seem to agree, which feels like a way to fill time. Flair yells at some fans too.

The Giant promises to be really, really, extra super mega evil in the cage. Jimmy Hart shouts a lot.

Tag Team Titles: Road Warriors vs. Sting/Lex Luger

The Warriors are challenging. Luger tries to walk out but Sting gets him to come back…eventually, and we’re finally ready to go. Well hang on as Luger runs off again and has to be coaxed back, which finally allows the opening bell. Hawk runs Sting over with a shoulder to start and then hits a dropkick. Sting is sent outside but comes back in for a swinging neckbreaker.

They go down into some awkward grappling until Hawk grabs an STF. Sting makes the rope so Animal comes in for an armbar. That’s broken up and Sting gets over for the tag to Luger, who is tentative at best to come in. Luger kicks away but walks into a big boot from Animal, followed by a powerslam. Animal grabs another armbar before handing it off to Hawk to hit a corner clothesline. Luger is sent outside and into the barricade, which fires him up for some reason.

A clothesline drops Hawk and Sting is back in for a snap suplex. Animal comes back in and gets knocked down as well, only for Sting to do his falling low blow. Now Luger is willing to come in for an atomic drop but the threat of Hawk coming in means it’s back to Sting. The top rope splash hits raised knees and it’s back to Hawk to beat on Luger. The chinlock goes on but Luger hits a quick jawbreaker, allowing Sting to come in for…a lockup.

Animal is sent into the corner for the Stinger Splash but Hawk makes the save with a clothesline. Luger doesn’t seem to mind, prompting Rhodes to ask “WHAT IS HE DOING”. Hawk is right back with a chinlock and bodyscissors, followed by the same thing from Animal. Sting fights up again and hits a suplex but Animal pops up. Animal’s suplex makes Sting pop right back up as well (the fans like that) so Animal hits a dropkick. Everyone brawls to the floor…and the referee throws it out at 13:55.

Rating: C-. They were starting to go somewhere with Luger not wanting to get involved and the four of them brawling around. The problem is they didn’t get very far out of first gear and things were just picking up when they stopped. It was another case where they didn’t want either side to lose so we got this rather lame ending instead. Give it a finish and it’s better, but there was only so much to be gotten out of a match like this.

Ric Flair, with Woman, is ready to make Randy Savage bleed, sweat and cry in the cage, as Flair takes the title back.

The cage is lowered.

Ad for Uncensored. Oh sweet goodness that show.

Randy Savage is glad to have Elizabeth back and says it’s time to expect the unexpected in the cage. The blue and yellow are a cool color combination for Savage.

Commentary hypes up the World Title match.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage

Savage is defending and Woman/Elizabeth are here too. Before the match, Flair gives Elizabeth one more chance to switch sides but that’s not happening so we’re ready to go. Flair is rather tentative about getting in the cage so Savage hammers away, only for Flair to chop his way out of trouble. The big knee connects and Flair slugs away….before knocking the referee down. Savage gets a backslide for no count and the referee is back up as Savage hits a clothesline.

Flair drops him with an elbow and fires off the chops in the corner, followed by another elbow to keep Savage in trouble. Savage catches him up top with the slam down and it’s already time for the Figure Four on Flair. The rope is reached but it doesn’t matter in a cage. Savage eventually lets it go and hits him in the face for two before climbing to the top of the cage (that can’t go well).

Flair punches him out of the air to take over again and a suplex gets two. Savage is sent head first into the cage and Flair just lets him hang there for a bit. The real Figure Four goes on, with Flair grabbing the ropes to no avail. Savage grabs them as well so Flair gets into it with the referee, who grabs Flair by the hair for the break. Savage fights back and sends him into the cage as Woman starts the shrieking.

Flair is busted open so Savage goes for the cut, with a few shots knocking Savage back down. Flair’s attempt at going up means it’s time for the trunks to come down (dang he loved that spot WAY too much). Savage covers for two (ignore the bell ringing) so Flair hits him low. Flair starts going up and we get the trunks pulled down AGAIN (thankfully with some censoring this time).

Savage is knocked down hard but Flair collapses as well for a double breather. Back up and Flair is sent hard into the cage, though he’s able to backdrop Savage into the cage (as we go wide because of the cut). Woman throws powder at Savage but misses, only for Elizabeth to hand Flair her shoe. The big shot to the head gives Flair the pin and the title at 18:56.

Rating: B+. These two were basically incapable of having a bad match so giving them the better part of twenty minutes in a cage with an emotional finish was a guaranteed hit. They worked well together and it’s fun watching them just trying to hurt each other. Savage never really came close to winning either, which wound up not even being an issue, as it was more about the violence and surviving than going for a win.

Post match Elizabeth is rather pleased with what happened and goes to stand next to Woman. Cue Hulk Hogan to chase them off and hit Arn Anderson (here to celebrate) with Flair with a chair. Savage is taken out after being hit in the eye, with Hogan being nice enough to help him.

Hogan (with his eye bandaged after a recent attack) rants about Elizabeth and thinks it might go back to when they officially separated four years ago. He does remember Elizabeth’s shoe coming off pretty fast on Nitro so maybe something was up. There won’t be any Savage having his back tonight so the big man upstairs will cover his blind side.

Hulk Hogan vs. The Giant

In a cage, escape only (note that you have two cage matches with different rules, because WCW), with Taskmaster and Jimmy Hart here too. Hogan sends him into the cage to start and fires down the right hands in the corner. A bite to the head and rake to the back keep Giant in trouble but he forearms Hogan in the back. The knuckle lock keeps Hogan down and Giant kicks him in the ribs a few times for a bonus.

Hogan is sent into the cage and then choked with a shirt, leaving Giant to rattle his neck. Giant misses the big elbow but Hogan isn’t able to slam him so early. The stomping continues and Hogan is sent into the cage for a bonus. It’s too early to go through the door so Giant gives him a backbreaker to stay on the back.

Hogan goes into the cage again and we hit the bearhug (of course). That stays on for a rather long time until Hogan fights out, only to get caught in the chokeslam. It’s 1996 though so Hogan doesn’t have to sell, meaning it’s time to send Giant into the cage over and over. Three legdrops connect and Hogan goes up, only for Giant to catch him on top. That’s fine with Hogan, who knocks him down and climbs out for the win at 15:04.

Rating: C-. You know what you’re going to get in a Hogan cage match and they didn’t deviate from the plan in the slightest. This was every box checked you could ask for, with Hogan surviving everything, including the chokeslam, and then winning. Giant popping up after three legdrops is stupid in its own right, but this was designed to give Giant lose without taking a pin, though it didn’t really protect him that well.

Post match Hogan grabs a chair and throws Taskmaster inside, leaving Giant cowering. Heenan: “Where’s the rest of the Legion Of Doom?” Cue Meng, the Barbarian, Hugh Morrus, Shark, Zodiac and the One Man Gang. That makes it eight on one…..and HOGAN BEATS THEM ALL UP. Even with the chair, that’s totally ridiculous, and here is Loch Ness, the new monster of the team, who is held back by the team and doesn’t actually get in the cage. Hogan poses to end the show.

Roll credits.

Overall Rating: C. This is a rough one, as the good is rather good, but the boring stuff brings it way down. That’s a problem throughout the show, as Savage vs. Flair (and the rather awesome Liz turn) can only make up for so much of the rest of the show. Sting and Luger’s stuff is interesting outside of the ring, but the parts between the bells….not so much. The Hogan stuff is just horrible though and you could see how ridiculous everything was getting at this point. Overall, it was clear that WCW had potential, but it wasn’t going to matter with Hogan choking the life out of the place.

 

 

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We’re one day before Summerslam and that means this is going to be the big push towards the show. That could go in a variety of ways, though I’m not sure how much I’d expect from what was definitively the B show at this point. It’s not a great time for the company either, but there is some talent worth seeing. Let’s get to it.

Superstars
Date: August 17, 1996
Location: Yakima Sun Dome, Yakima, Washington
Attendance: 2,922
Commentators: Jim Ross, Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

The opening recap looks at Ahmed Johnson needing surgery and having to vacate the Intercontinental Title.

Opening sequence, which is a country style theme (and sounds like it’s being sung by Michael Hayes).

Commentary runs down the card.

Undertaker vs. Who

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker (in what would be the last time for the original team, at least when it comes to a traditional entrance). Who jumps him to start and hammers away in the corner, earning himself a jumping clothesline. The Tombstone finishes fast at 1:08.

Ahmed Johnson, in a snazzy red robe, talks about how the mental pain is worse than the physical pain.

We look at Johnson’s recent success and how everything has stopped, with the Intercontinental Title being vacated. A tournament is starting next week on Raw, but it isn’t clear if or when Johnson will return to the ring. There will also be a mini battle royal for his previously won WWF Title shot.

It’s off to Slam Jam, with the big final push of Summerslam.

Jerry Lawler is ready to make Jake Roberts see a lot of doubles, just like when he’s drunk!

Roberts is ready to get revenge on Lawler.

Savio Vega/Freddie Joe Floyd vs. Uncle Zebekiah/Justin Hawk Bradshaw

This is fallout from Zebekiah and Bradshaw branding Vega. Zebekiah bails to the floor so Vega hammers on Bradshaw, with Floyd coming in for a double dropkick. Floyd kicks Bradshaw in the case for a quick two as the rapid tags continue. Bradshaw finally manages to kick Floyd out to the floor as commentary talks about the Summerslam Tag Team Title match. Zebekiah gets in a clothesline on the floor and it’s a double team in the corner to keep Floyd in trouble as we take a break.

We come back with Vega having to save Floyd but that’s not enough for the actual tag. Bradshaw grabs a Russian legsweep for two but a jumping back elbow gets Floyd out of trouble. Vega comes in to clean house, with a spinning kick to the face getting two on Zebekiah as everything breaks down. Zebekiah misses a branding iron shot to Vega and gets rolled up for the fast pin at 9:37.

Rating: C+. This is what you would get on Superstars around this point, as it was more about giving something to the lower level stars. Vega vs. Bradshaw might not be a top level feud but it is at least a story and something that got a few weeks to build. Floyd might not be a top level star, but he’s more than good in the ring. Zebekiah is fine as a second for Bradshaw, as long as you understand that he’s so banged up from a harsh career that he can’t do much in the ring.

Post match the brawl stays on with Floyd getting double teamed until Vega makes the save with the branding iron.

Video on Shawn Michaels vs. Vader, with Vader pinning Michaels at In Your House: International Incident. Michaels knows that he is in danger and wants the Kliq to support him more than ever.

Crush vs. Aldo Montoya

Clarence Mason is here with Crush. Montoya gets knocked down to start and the neck crank is already on. Crush thumbs him in the neck and the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker cuts off Montoya’s comeback attempt. The big clothesline sends Montoya outside and Crush powers him inside without much trouble. A shoulder breaker into the full nelson finishes for Crush at 3:11.

Rating: C. Crush is someone who got chance after chance and while it could have been worse, he never became the star that the company seemed to want him to be. Granted putting him in there with Mason wasn’t the best way to go, as Mason wasn’t going to make Crush feel important. For now though, not a terrible start for Crush’s singles run, but I’m not getting my hopes up.

Video on Undertaker vs. Mankind.

Mankind vs. Billy Two Eagles

Mankind hammers him down into the corner to start and shrugs off a boot to the face. A swinging neckbreaker (with Mankind pulling the hair of course), setting up the Mandible Claw for the fast win at 1:48.

Another Slam Jam looks at the Tag Team Title match, with the Smoking Gunns/Sunny thinking that the company is against them. The Bodydonnas just want the titles back.

The Stalker talks about wanting to hunt various people. The introduction called him Barry Windham, so why not just let him be that?

Sunny teases various limited material swimsuits for the Summerslam pre-show.

Steve Austin vs. Marc Mero

Sable is here with Mero, who knocks him into the corner to start. They go outside, where Austin yells a lot and kicks him in the ribs to take over. Back in and Mero takes him down into an armbar as Marlena and Goldust joins commentary. Goldust talks about being a zookeeper at Summerslam as Austin makes the comeback and knees Mero in the head. We take a break and come back with Austin holding a chinlock. Mero fights up and snaps off a headscissors as Mankind comes out to tell Sable (“Mommy”) that he’s been a naughty boy. Mero goes after him for the save and that’s a DQ at 9:43.

Rating: C+. The match was pretty good, which shouldn’t be a surprise given who was involved, but dang there was too much going on with the whole thing. The ending was a bit of a cheap way to prevent both of them from losing, but at least the match wasn’t boring. Just slow down a bit next time.

Post match the brawl is on until Undertaker comes out for the save, with Sable running away in terror to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Well, the show was designed to make me more interested in seeing Summerslam and that went well enough. At the same time, Summerslam 1996 is only so interesting of a show in the first place. It’s an absolute two match show and pretty much nothing more, with what we got on here not exactly being enough to carry it that much higher. The action here was fine, but it was very clear that Raw was the thing and had been for a very long time.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 29, 1996
Location: Stockton Civic Auditorium, Stockton, California
Attendance: 2,904
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the way to the next In Your House, which means we’ll be getting ready for the last stop on the Road To Wrestlemania. The big story continues to be Shawn Michaels’ quest for the WWF Title, though he seems like he’s going to have a stop over with the other Hart Brother on the way to face Bret for the title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening preview.

Opening sequence.

British Bulldog vs. Diesel

Jim Cornette is here with Bulldog. Diesel powers him around to start and hits a slam but Bulldog gets in a knockdown of his own. Bulldog wraps the leg around the post and cranks away (because this formula worked so well in their disaster of a pay per view match), including a half crab. Cue Yokozuna to ringside as we take a break.

We come back with Bulldog choking and then doing his weird double step stomps to the leg. Diesel gets sent outside where Yokozuna…throws him back in. Back in and Diesel boots him down but Cornette has the referee, leaving Yokozuna to drop a leg. Granted the leg hits Bulldog so it doesn’t exactly work out well but at least he was trying. Cornette freaks out as Diesel gets the pin at 9:38.

Rating: C+. It’s still not a great match, but what matters is that it wasn’t an all time disaster like their match back in October. Keeping it shorter and not having the match drag on forever certainly helped, though they did something similar with the leg work. Diesel needed the win though, as it’s not like Bulldog had much going on at the moment.

It’s off to the Slam Jam where Bret Hart, with a black eye, still wants Diesel in a steel cage match. We run down the rest of the In Your House car, including the newly added Duke Droese vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley.

Apparently WCW is threatening legal action over the Billionaire Ted skits. Therefore, here’s another one with Ted at a press conference where he won’t answer any questions about his business practices. This stuff is so beyond dumb and nothing but Vince McMahon whining about competition spending money.

Godwinns vs. Bodydonnas

This is Phineas’ debut and Hillbilly Jim and Sunny are here too. Henry runs Skip over to start but Zip comes in with a cheap shot to take him down. A double suplex drops Henry again and Sunny flirts with Jim, leaving Skip to miss a top rope splash. Phineas comes in and gets to clean house, with the Slop Drop finishing Zip at 2:17.

Post match Sunny runs away from…hillbilly things.

We look at Vader’s path of destruction in his rather short WWF career. This includes attacking Gorilla Monsoon last week, which was quite the moment. Of note: McMahon actually uses the term “stable mate” to describe Yokozuna and Vader.

Clarence Mason and Jim Cornette think the suspension is TOTALLY UNFAIR and there is an injunction against the suspension.

You can send in Get Well Soon letters to Monsoon. And I’m sure this won’t be used to restock the WWF’s mailing list.

Vince McMahon brings out the new acting President of the World Wrestling Federation: RODDY PIPER! The fans seem to approve, with Piper asking if he’s Vince’s boss. Piper lists off some of his accomplishments in the 80s but he knows that the wrestlers today are faster and stronger. The difference though is they’re a little confused, with Piper being here to fix things.

There will be no government shutdown when he is President. He pulls out some papers, which contain rules. Vince: “You’ve never lived by rules in your life!” Piper: “Good point!” And he puts the papers back in his pocket. He promises the fans are in good hands, gives Vince an airplane spin, and wraps it up. I’m not sure I have any idea what Piper was saying, but the GOOD POINT part was funny.

Mankind, with his deformed ear, wants us to have a nice day.

Yokozuna vs. Shawn Michaels

Owen Hart and Jim Cornette are here with Yokozuna. Michaels realizes that locking up with him is a really bad idea so he goes with right hands to knock Yokozuna outside. The villains have a meeting on the floor and we take an early break. We come back with Michaels’ top rope moonsault press getting two but Yokozuna whips him hard into the corner.

That sends Michaels crashing out to the floor, where Hart gets in a posting like a good villain should. Back in and we hit the nerve hold (Yokozuna certainly had his favorites) and we take another break. We come back with Michaels avoiding the legdrop but missing a top rope splash. Michaels slugs away, only to get driven into the corner. Hart tries to come in but kicks Yokozuna down by mistake. The superkick gives Michaels the pin at 11:42.

Rating: C. As usual, you know what you’re going to get with Yokozuna at this point and that’s not a good thing. He’s just so big and there is very little that anyone can do against him. Even Michaels was limited here, with the interference into the superkick being about as good as it was going to get. At least Michaels won by pinfall, as it makes him look like he could beat almost anyone. Or at least really big people who could barely move, which has little to do with either Hart brother, but it’s better than nothing.

Post match the Bulldog has to play peacemaker between Yokozuna and Hart. Michaels is caught 4-1 but Diesel runs in for the save. Cornette says his men are perfectly fine and issues the challenge for a tag match next week. Michaels and Diesel seem in to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The Vader stuff is interesting, mainly because you can see what kind of a monster he really is, but at the same time he’s not going to be around for the time being. You also have Roddy Piper around, and that’s only going to be….I have no idea actually (much like whatever he said). The wrestling was good enough, but this is all about getting to Wrestlemania and you can see some pieces coming together, which is exciting enough.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 22, 1996
Location: Stockton Civic Auditorium, Stockton, California
Attendance: 2,904
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with the Royal Rumble and that means Shawn Michaels is (shockingly) enough on the way to Wrestlemania for a WWF Title shot against Bret Hart. That’s in about two months though and we have one more pay per view on the way. Either way, this is going to be all about Michaels for a bit so let’s get to it.

Here is the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

We open with a long Royal Rumble recap.

Opening sequence.

Vader vs. Savio Vega

Vader, who debuted last night, has Jim Cornette with him. Vader powers him into the corner to start and hammers away to drop Vega in a hurry. Vega is back up with some chops and a superkick to the floor, where Vader drops him onto the barricade. Back in and a corner splash into the Vader Bomb finishes Vega at 3:01.

Rating: C. That’s pretty much exactly what it needed to be, as Vader smashed through someone the fans knew and looked like a killer. That’s entirely the point of Vader, who had already made an impact in the Royal Rumble but needed to do the same in a regular match. He’s the ultimate monster and that was on display here.

Post match Vader keeps up the beating and takes out some referees. President Gorilla Monsoon gets in the ring and yells at Vader before announcing that Vader is suspended indefinitely (read as until he’s healed from shoulder surgery). Vader slaps Monsoon on the back so Monsoon chops away, getting physical for the first time in well over ten years.

That earns Monsoon a beating, including the Vader Bomb, with Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon running in for the save. Monsoon is taken out on a stretcher. I know it couldn’t be done given Monsoon’s age and health, but sweet goodness the business they could have done with Monsoon having one more match with Vader over all of this.

Post match Vader declares war on everyone in the WWF and beats up a trashcan as Jim Cornette tries to calm him down. Vince doesn’t think Vader belongs around here (how true that would wind up being).

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Razor Ramon

We get a quick insert interview from the 1-2-3 Kid and Ted DiBiase, who promise to give Ramon a bottle and change his diaper (yes, Jim Cornette was working on the creative team at this point). Helmsley hammers away in the corner to start but gets caught with a clothesline. Ramon misses a charge out to the floor though and we take a break. We come back with Helmsley crotching him on top as Lawler sucks up to Helmsley’s valet. A running knee to the back puts Ramon down again and here is the 1-2-3 Kid with a bottle. Ramon fights back but opts to chase the Kid, earning the countout at 8:02.

Rating: C+. The ending was the right way to go as Ramon was starting to change sides a bit, but he was still obsessed with the Kid. Let him go after that issue for a bit and make him easier to care about, which is coming sooner than later. For now though, it’s enough to have him do his usual stuff against a villain.

Post match Helmsley has to escape the Razor’s Edge and run off.

It’s off to Billionaire Ted’s Wrasslin War Room. They’re tired of stealing ideas but can’t think of a new one. The voiceover talks about not accepting imitations.

We then cut to Doc Hendrix and the Raw Band, because having a house band on a show airing at night is a 100% original idea.

Here is Shawn Michaels to brag about his win in the Royal Rumble. He’s on his way to Wrestlemania but there is someone to deal with on the way. There is someone who is bragging about taking Michaels out, and while that would be nine guys in Syracuse, New York, Owen Hart is doing a lot of bragging.

Cue Jim Cornette, who says if Michaels wants Hart, he’ll have to go through Cornette, who signs Hart’s contracts. The match isn’t going to happen, but Michaels says he’ll do anything to get his hands on Hart. Cornette says Hart might be interested if the WWF Title shot at Wrestlemania was on the line, with Michaels eventually agreeing. Then he throws Cornette over the top, because that’s the kind of thing that happens to Cornette. That’s what this needed to be and they set up Michaels’ next big match.

Bret Hart vs. Goldust

Non-title and Marlena is here with Goldust. We get some chest rubbing before Hart takes him into the corner and we take a break. We come back with Hart working on the arm but Goldust reverses into a hammerlock of his own. That’s reversed with a quick trip out to the floor and we take a second break. This time we come back with Goldust working on the arm until Hart fights up. Goldust tries to leave but Razor Ramon throws him back in as we take a THIRD break. We come back again with Hart grabbing the Sharpshooter for the submission at 10:59.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure why we needed so many breaks in there but it was distracting from a match which was…well it was pretty much just ok at best. Hart is on his way to Wrestlemania (ok more than likely at least) so giving him some wins is a good idea, though I’m not sure if that needed to be against the Intercontinental Champion. At least it was a loss to the WWF Champion, but there was no better option here?

Post match Hart says Undertaker deserves a rematch and wants Diesel in a cage.

Overall Rating: C+. Michaels instantly makes this better, as he’s the biggest star in the company and there is no way around it. We’re pretty clearly in the countdown to his inevitable title win at Wrestlemania, but the fans are behind him all the way there. Now just make it work for the next few months and everything should be fine. That and maybe don’t have your Intercontinental Champion lose the night after he wins the title.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 15, 1996
Location: Bob Carpenter Center, Newark, Delaware
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before the Royal Rumble and last week’s show might as well have been subtitled “Shawn Michaels Is Going To Win”. They aren’t really bothering to hide that this is a Rumble with one possible winner, so the question is more how Michaels is going to do it. Other than that, we’ve got Undertaker ready to challenge Bret Hart for the WWF Title and he has quite a big match of his own. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the tribute to Martin Luther King Jr. for his namesake day.

Opening preview.

Opening sequence.

Owen Hart vs. Marty Jannetty

Jim Cornette is here with Hart. Feeling out process to start with Jannetty’s front facelock not lasting long. Instead Jannetty hits a running clothesline for two and slaps on the chinlock. That’s broken up rather quickly and Hart stomps away, only for Jannetty to come back with a spinning middle rope crossbody.

This time it’s Hart grabbing his own chinlock but it’s too early for the Sharpshooter. Hart suplexes him down and we take a break, coming back with Jannetty managing a faceplant. A middle rope flipping faceplant and a powerslam have Hart in more trouble, followed by a clothesline out to the floor. Back in and Hart slips behind him into a rollup for the fast pin at 9:12.

Rating: B-. As usual, taking two talented wrestlers and letting them do their thing for a few minutes works out well. Jannetty might have been an all time screwup, but he could work well in the ring with just about anyone. Hart was starting to come into his own as a singles star here and it’s no surprise that this worked.

We’re off to the Slam Jam, featuring the announcement of the Free For All show, which will feature a match for the #30 spot in the Royal Rumble, with the loser getting the #1 spot. The names involved will be the ones who draw blanks in the Royal Rumble drawing, so nice job of keeping a mystery. As for the Rumble itself, Diesel is ready to win and we get the same Vader workout video. The Jeff Jarrett vs. Ahmed Johnson match gets a quick look too.

Ringmaster vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title and Ted DiBiase is in (the debuting) Ringmaster’s corner. Ringmaster (that name is already getting annoying) hammers away to start and stomps away in the corner. Some knee drops give Ringmaster two and a gordbuster gets the same. Hardy (With HV on his tights, either for High Voltage or perhaps….HARDY VERSION?) gets choked on the ropes and the Million Dollar Dream finishes for Ringmaster at 4:35.

Rating: C. There is something so fascinating about an all time star making his debut and having such a basic match which showed absolutely nothing. Throw in the fact that he was in there against a future legend in his own right and it’s quite the historical curiosity. To say Austin would get better is an understatement, but this was a good start.

Video on Shawn Michaels, who is returning at the Royal Rumble, including his recent health issues.

Smoking Gunns vs. Spiders

Non-title and we’re actually joined in progress with Billy getting two off a small package. Bart comes in with some dropkicks and the Sidewinder finishes at 1:02 shown.

It’s off to Billionaire Ted’s Wrasslin War Room, where Ted is mad that he can’t buy the WWF.

Here is Goldust for a chat, with Vince McMahon accusing him of preying on homophobia. Goldust: “Mr. television announcer, is that another microphone in your pocket or are you just excited to see me?” He promises to make Ramon and everyone else remember his name.

Ramon arrives (with about twenty minutes left in the show) and is looking for Goldust.

Undertaker vs. Isaac Yankem DDS

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker. They stare each other down to start (like long lost…never mind) and Undertaker takes over with a slam. Yankem scores with a clothesline out of the corner but has to slip out of a Tombstone. They go outside with Undertaker hammering away and getting in a posting, only for Lawler to go after the remains of the urn. Undertaker isn’t having that and chases Lawler off but Yankem drives him into the post.

We take a break and come back with Undertaker fighting out of a half crab. A bearhug doesn’t last long either as Undertaker fights out and does the situp. Yankem knocks him down again and tries his own Tombstone (like that could ever work), which is reversed into the real thing to give Undertaker the pin at 8:35.

Rating: C. This is one of those things where you could see the idea on paper, just because it was so rare to find someone of Undertaker’s size who could move like Yankem. The problem though was that again, Yankem was a wrestling dentist and that was only going to get him so far. The key was finding out how to use the talent, which is one of the keys to good booking. Once they figured that out, it was off to the races. Eventually.

Goldust is ready to face Bret Hart next week but gets jumped by Razor Ramon. The brawl is on and Goldust hits him low to escape.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Ramon jumps Goldust again and chases him outside. They brawl in the snow until Goldust rams him into a truck and gets in his car to escape and end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is definitely one of those shows where the historical impact wouldn’t become apparent for a good while, but dang it’s fascinating to see the future right there in front of your eyes. You have Austin’s in-ring debut and the first battle of the Brothers Of Destruction. That’s a heck of a Raw and while it would mean more later, it winds up being a completely decent show on its own, with the Michaels announcement being a needed boost.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 8, 1996
Location: Bob Carpenter Center, Newark, Delaware
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting closer to the Royal Rumble and that means we’ll be seeing some more names added to the card. In addition, since it’s the holiday season and the company didn’t want to tape too much, we’re getting another match from the most recent In Your House, which is certainly a way to fill in time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a preview of the show, promising more from Billionaire Ted. Of course.

Opening sequence.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Hakushi

Jarrett teases playing the guitar and singing for us but opts to just not instead. An early slam lets Jarrett strut but Hakushi sweeps the leg. A top rope shoulder drops Jarrett again and we pause for him to tease walking out. Back in and Jarrett hits the running crotch attack in the ropes and we take a break.

We come back with Hakushi fighting out of an abdominal stretch and hitting a jumping spin kick. Jarrett knocks him back down for two more and we hit the chinlock. Hakushi fights out but his springboard splash hits knees, allowing Jarrett to get the Figure Four for the win at 9:19.

Rating: C. I always feel bad when I see Hakushi falling further and further down the ladder. He really was a different kind of star and could have been a bigger deal if he was given the chance. It doesn’t help when he lost to the perfectly capable but terribly uninteresting Jarrett. While Jarrett is far from bad, it’s not exactly easy to get behind him in any meaningful way. That was the case again here, as this was just a step above a squash.

We go to Slam Jam, which serves as the Royal Rumble control center. We look at various Rumble entrants, including a video on Vader Finally, “Scheme Gene” makes a cameo which, believe it or not, isn’t funny.

Ahmed Johnson vs. Jeff Brettler

Johnson throws him around to start and hits a kick to the head. A spinebuster and the Pearl River Plunge finish at 1:51.

Post match Jeff Jarrett tries to sneak in with a guitar shot but hits the buckle instead. Johnson scares him off and breaks the guitar.

Next week: Undertaker vs. Isaac Yankem.

And now, the Brother Love Show, because that was brought back in 1996. The guest is Ted DiBiase, who is unveiling his new Million Dollar Champion: THE RINGMASTER! DiBiase presents him with his title, with the Ringmaster sticking his hand out to the screen so fans can reach out and touch greatness. He’s already in the Royal Rumble so he can go on to Wrestlemania and win the WWF Title, but it doesn’t compare to the Million Dollar Title. And that’s Steve Austin’s WWF debut.

Earl Hebner defends not stopping Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog due to Hart’s blood loss. Geez the jokes write themselves.

Goldust vs. Aldo Montoya

Goldust takes his time getting rid of his wig and then takes out Montoya for daring to start fast. The slow beating is on, including a running kick to Montoya’s chest. Montoya fights up and hits a clothesline, only to walk into the Curtain Call for the fast pin at 2:10.

It’s another Slam Jam, this time looking at Shawn Michaels’ press conference from earlier today. He is officially in the Royal Rumble and he’s going on to Wrestlemania to win the WWF Title. Scheme Gene pops in to say he has a hot name for the Royal Rumble but call his hotline to find out who it is. IN CASE YOU DIDN’T GET THE JOKE!

Various wrestlers give their thoughts on Shawn Michaels coming back.

From In Your House V: Seasons Beatings.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog

Hart is defending and Jim Cornette is here with Bulldog. Feeling out process to start with Bulldog showing off the power, leaving Hart to go after his arm. Back up and a knee to the ribs cuts Hart down for two and we’re already in the chinlock. That’s broken up so Cornette gets in a cheap shot with the racket, meaning the chinlock can go on again. The hard whip into the corner gives Bulldog two and yep, it’s time for another chinlock.

Hart finally fights out and hits a monkey flip, followed by a bulldog to Bulldog. A quick piledriver gives Hart two and the middle rope elbow connects as we take a break. We come back with Hart getting crotched on the top and knocked outside, with Bulldog driving him hard into the post. Hart is busted open BAD and there is a bunch of blood on the floor. Bulldog gets two off his own piledriver and the not so delayed suplex is good for the same.

A top rope headbutt to the back gives Bulldog two more and he grabs a bow and arrow. Hart’s quick counter into the Sharpshooter is broken up and Bulldog shoulders him hard out to the floor. Back in and Hart slips out of a suplex to grab a German suplex for two and they’re both down. Hart manages to send him outside for a slingshot dive but another is countered into the running powerslam on the floor.

We take another break and come back again with Hart crotching him on the barricade and hitting a clothesline. The backbreaker gives Hart two and he whips Bulldog hard into the corner for a change. A top rope superplex gets a delayed two and a rollup, ala Summerslam 1992, is reversed to give Hart two more. With nothing else working, Hart grabs la majistral to retain at 21:09.

Rating: B+. As usual, these two have some great chemistry together. It felt like Hart was having to struggle to survive against an aggressive power guy and that is where Hart tends to thrive. Bulldog could work well with almost anyone and tended to do best against someone Hart (or Shawn Michaels) sized, so the formula was firmly in play here. Great match and worth a look if you have time.

Undertaker is ready to take the title from Bret Hart at the Royal Rumble.

A woman has won the Royal Rumble sweepstakes.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

We wrap it up with Billionaire Ted’s Wrasslin War Room, with the board trying to come up with a better slogan. The Huckster and Nacho Man are happier about avoiding steroid tests. Young Vince Russo can be seen as one of the people around the table.

Overall Rating: B-. I’m not sure what it means when the best match is from a pay per view, but I’ll take that over the usual mess that we got around this time. Other than that, it was a bunch of short, uninteresting matches and an all time important debut, even if there was no way of knowing that at the time. Shawn Michaels really needs to get back already, as they’re only going to be able to use matches from pay per views for so long.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 1, 1996
Location: Bob Carpenter Center, Newark, Delaware
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

It’s a new year and we have a special edition of the show, featuring the Raw Bowl. That means a football themed tag team elimination match, which should be at least interesting. Other than that, we are less than a month away from the Royal Rumble and Shawn Michaels might be on his way back from injury. Let’s get to it.

The opening video hypes up the Raw Bowl, complete with a marching band, cheerleaders, and Lawler in a Cleveland Browns jersey.

Smoking Gunns vs. Yokozuna/Owen Hart vs. Razor Ramon/Savio Vega vs. Sycho Sid/1-2-3 Kid

The Gunns’ Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line. This is an elimination match and the teams have a time out each. They all have jerseys with special numbers (Vega is Uno, the Kid is 1-2-3, Yokozuna is 641 etc) and the ring has a green mat. As a bonus, commentary is making every football reference they can think of because we have a theme going here. Bart and Hart start in three point stances, with Bart drop toeholding him down.

Billy comes in and, since they have to make contact with each other, Bart tries a hiptoss but Billy sticks the landing. The two of them tag in Hart and Yokozuna, the latter of whom drops him with a shoulder. Vega comes in to face Yokozuna and gets dropped as well, so it’s off to Vega vs. Kid. The running spinwheel kick gives Vega two and Ramon comes in to drop Hart with a right hand. The fast tags continue as Sid and Bart come in for a less than thrilling staredown.

Bart actually takes over and hits a suplex before handing it off to Vega. Hart enziguris Vega and Yokozuna comes in to hammer away as we take a break. We come back with Vega still in trouble as Sid comes in to stomp him down. Vega fights back on the Kid and brings in Ramon, but the Kid calls time out. Since we’ve never actually established what calling time out means, Ramon gives Kid the Razor’s Edge anyway.

Ted DiBiase gets on the apron and gets a flag as a result, which again doesn’t seem to have any meaning. Sid uses the distraction to deck Ramon and put Kid on top for the elimination at 13:25 (as the referee didn’t see Vega calling time out). We take another break and come back with Sid hammering on Bart before Hart gets to do the same. Hart misses a top rope splash though and it’s Billy coming in to clean house.

Everything breaks down and Yokozuna accidentally Banzai Drops Hart, giving Billy the pin at 21:04. Sid stomps away on Billy and Kid adds a running kick in the corner for two. Billy fights out of the chinlock but gets booted in the face. A small package gives Billy two on Sid and the comeback is on with some right hands. Sid cuts that off with a chokeslam (Lawler: “Intentional grounding!”) so Kid goes up, only for Ramon to come back and shove him off the top. Billy steals a rollup pin at 25:33.

Rating: C-. This is a good example of a match that might have been a unique concept but it wasn’t the best execution. At the end of the day, this was quite the mess with too many people running around and the football jokes getting old fast. It’s also not a good sign when one of the rules isn’t really explained, with the timeouts not making a ton of sense. The action was ok, but dang this was an idea that needed another draft.

We get a halftime show, with Michael Hayes saying this is a two minute drill. Jim Ross has a word from (not with) Diesel, who promises to beat up Mabel. Hayes talks about the Royal Rumble and runs down the card, again with the football metaphors.

From In Your House: Season’s Beatings.

Henry Godwinn vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

This is a Hog Pen Match, meaning the first to throw the other into a hog pen (with hogs) wins. Hillbilly Jim is the guest referee (that doesn’t seem fair) and Godwinn misses the early throw of the slop. Back in and Godwinn takes over, even tying Helmsley in the ropes for some slop to the face. Helmsley takes over and we take a break, coming back with Godwinn being whipped into the hog pen gate.

Helmsley is backdropped onto the edge of the pen but gets back down and drops Godwinn again. They head back to the ring where Godwinn charges into a boot in the corner. A wheelbarrow faceplant gets Godwinn out of trouble and he whips Helmsley over the corner. We take another break and come back with Godwinn hitting a Slop Drop up near the pen. Helmsley is right back with a backdrop into the pen for the win at 8:58 (the original time, which was heavily extended on this broadcast).

Rating: C-. Yeah do you get the concept here? This was supposed to be Godwinn’s specialty match, despite never seeing it before or after this time. At the end of the day though, this was all about who could backdrop the other one into the mud. The idea of seeing Helmsley get dirty was fun, but I’m going to need a bit more than that. Or a lot more really.

Post match Godwinn throws Helmsley into the pen as well, which can’t be good as Helmsley’s back is cut open.

Diesel vs. King Mabel

Diesel whips him into the ropes, hits a big boot, and gets the pin at 8 seconds. Better than Summerslam!

Post match Diesel Jackknifes Sir Mo and poses for his pyro. Diesel leaves with Miss Raw Bowl.

The Brooklyn Brawler gives the Smoking Gunns….the Lombardi Trophy. Ok that’s funny. The Gunns give him a Lipton ice tea bath.

We run down some Royal Rumble participants, including the debuting Vader.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

We wrap it up with Billionaire Ted’s Wrasslin War Room, with the Huckster and Nacho Man saying they can’t do any of these new moves. They can however, POSE!

Overall Rating: D+. Other than avoiding the threat of having to see another long Diesel vs. Mable match, this was a pretty bad week for Raw. The Royal Rumble is coming up and that should help a lot, but there is only so much that can be done when the feature match was a long football themed mess. They were trying something new here, but that doesn’t mean it was a good idea.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 25, 1996
Location: Freeman Coliseum, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 9,364
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before Wrestlemania and the big question is what kind of jokes can the WWF make about Ted Turner. That’s been the last big thing we’ve seen over the last few weeks at the end of the show so we must need to see it again here. Hopefully they have time to talk about Wrestlemania a bit here too. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Shawn Michaels vs. Leif Cassidy

Marty Jannetty is here with Cassidy so Michaels debuts his official manager: Jose Lothario. After some generic comments from Lothario about how Michaels is going to Wrestlemania and an enthusiastic handshake from Cassidy, Bret Hart comes out for commentary. Michaels takes over on the arm to start before a running crossbody gets two. Back up and Cassidy grabs a sitout spinebuster for two before grabbing a surfboard.

We take a break and come back with Cassidy grabbing a chinlock but getting reversed into an exchange of rollups. Cassidy superplexes him for two but Michaels is back with a top rope clothesline. Jannetty trips him down though, with Hart getting up for the save. The superkick finishes for Michaels at 11:18.

Rating: B-. Cassidy was a good choice to put in this spot as he could wrestle a nice technical match against just about anyone and you know Michaels can work well in that spot. The Jannetty connection at ringside was a nice choice and they even teased a bit of drama with Hart. The main event of Wrestlemania is carrying the show and that’s going to need to be the case given the rest of the card.

Post match Michaels thinks Hart tripped him but Lothario calms things down. Hart says he’s ready to give Michaels a beating like he’s never received at Wrestlemania.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Aldo Montoya

Montoya starts fast and slams Helmsley, who gets his knees up to block a splash. Back up and Helmsley hits a jumping knee into the curtsy. The knee drop gives Helmsley two and a clothesline gets three more near falls. Montoya fights back and hits a dropkick, followed by a high crossbody for two. The Pedigree gives Helmsley the fast pin at 4:43.

Rating: C. Not much here as Helmsley isn’t going to have trouble against someone like Montoya. At the end of the day, Helmsley is ready for a high profile match at Wrestlemania and Montoya is Montoya. That doesn’t leave much room here and the match was about what you would have expected.

We see Goldust in a Hollywood back lot, where he gets rather close to a Roddy Piper mannequin, which he then destroys.

Next week: Mankind.

Here are Undertaker and Paul Bearer for a chat. Bearer recaps the feud with Diesel, including Diesel attacking Bearer two weeks ago. This led to Diesel seeing himself in a casket in quite the creepy moment. Undertaker says Diesel caused this to happen and promises to make him rest in peace at Wrestlemania.

We get one more Shawn Michaels training video.

Video on Hart vs. Michaels, with Hart talking about his plans to capitalize on Michaels’ mistakes.

Owen Hart vs. Ahmed Johnson

Jim Cornette is here with Hart as Vince goes on some rant about how the WWF makes sure that you get your money’s worth around here. Johnson powers him down to start and then does it again as the British Bulldog comes out to watch. Hart tries to pick up the pace but charges into a bearhug. Bulldog offers a distraction though and Johnson gets knocked to the floor as we take a break. We come back with Bulldog loading up the Pearl River Plunge but Bulldog comes in for the DQ at 5:34. Not enough shown to rate but it was just a way to get to the post match brawl.

Post match the beatdown is on, with Vader, Jake Roberts and Yokozuna coming in for the big brawl.

We wrap it up with a big music video on Bret Hart, either inspired by or set to You Start The Fire by Billy Joel (not the biggest music fan so that’s likely wrong).

Overall Rating: C+. The opener was the best part here but what matters the most is that we’re finally to Wrestlemania. That’s a show that has been needing to happen already, as the Hart vs. Michaels match is taking up so much TV time. It makes sense as it’s such a big chunk of the card, but dang that makes for some rough TV. They did well enough here, but it’s hard to find a more one match Wrestlemania card.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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