Monday Nitro – October 21, 1996 – Savage Goes Emo

Monday Nitro #58
Date: October 21, 1996
Location: Mankato Civic Center, Mankato, Minnesota
Attendance: 4,034
Commentators: Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

It’s FINALLY the last show before Halloween Havoc which took forever to get to. The main event tonight is Benoit vs. Savage which should be good, although it probably won’t be up to their capabilities due to the whole Liz thing from last week. This should be a better show than last week’s which was nothing all that interesting. Let’s get to it.

We open with talking about Savage and the Liz tape from last week. Larry reiterates that WCW needs a leader.

Chris Jericho vs. Bobby Eaton

Should be good. Tony says Sting is here and has a match scheduled with JL. Syxx and NWO Sting are here. After a break we’re ready to go. Patrick is referee and is still hurt. Jericho speeds things up to start and hits a dropkick and shoulder block to control early. Eaton comes back with a bad powerslam for no cover. Jericho hits the springboard dropkick to put Eaton outside. If Jericho wasn’t so pale I’d think he was the Cheetah Kid from last week.

Eaton works on the arm back in the ring. They slug it out and this match probably needs to end soon. They’re just not clicking out there. Jericho sends him into the post and they hit the floor. The Canadian’s elbow hits the post but Eaton misses a shot and stumbles up the aisle. Back in and Eaton hooks a swinging neckbreaker for no cover. A top rope kneedrop mostly hits for two. Jericho hits something like a jumping superkick and then a missile dropkick for the pin.

Rating: D+. Really surprising here as the match didn’t click at all for the most part. The ending was a lot better but other than that they looked totally out of sync. Jericho would get a lot better and I don’t think Eaton would be around much longer after this. Jericho would get Syxx on Sunday.

Jericho says that in six days he’ll get the first win over the NWO. He actually would, but it wouldn’t be until World War 3.

Video on Mysterio and how awesome he is.

Dean Malenko vs. Jimmy Graffiti

Graffiti is more commonly known as Jimmy Del Ray of the Heavenly Bodies. Graffiti takes over early and looks pretty stupid in his shirt with the word Graffiti on it and jean shorts. A Batista Bomb gets two for Graffiti as does a superkick. Malenko comes back and knocks him to the floor where he lands on the top of his head. Fake Sting is watching this and filming it. This prompts Tony and Larry to discuss if Rey has joined the NWO.

Dean hits a clothesline in the corner and a suplex but the Cloverleaf is broken up. Graffiti gets in his bit of jobber offense and they both go to the floor off a Malenko cross body. Back in and Graffiti tries something resembling a dropkick but gets caught in a powerbomb kind of move. The Cloverleaf ends this clean. It gets the Power Pin of the Week which is a sponsorship thing despite it not being a pin.

Rating: C-. Just a long squash here as Graffiti was never any threat to Deano Machino. I really don’t know why they brought in Del Ray of all people but he was fine for a jobber role I suppose. Dean would get the title back from Rey on Sunday before losing it to Ultimo Dragon at Starrcade.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Craig Pittman

We get a montage of Diamond Cutters before the match. Teddy is with Pittman here. He really didn’t have a good group of guys around this time. Teddy and Patrick get in an argument about 2 seconds after the bell rings. Page rams Pittman into Long to take over quickly. This has all the makings of a squash. Page pancakes him down for two. Pittman kicks out and shoves Page onto Patrick, injuring the referee’s back to a big pop. Out to the floor for a bit where Pittman works on the arm. Code Red (cross armbreaker) goes on but Teddy distracts the referee for no apparent reason. Diamond Cutter ends this.

After the too short to rate match, Teddy is accused of being NWO. He yells at Patrick and Patrick says it was Teddy’s fault, which is true.

Tony talks to Nick who says he didn’t hear Page give up. He’s accused of being the NWO referee again and he says it’s Randy Anderson again.

We look back at two weeks ago where Flair was attacked to write him off TV for his legit shoulder injury. We also see Jarrett challenging the Giant for Havoc.

Ron Studd vs. Jeff Jarrett

Flair comes out to watch this match. He gets in the ring before it starts and tells Jarrett to strut. The fans aren’t all that thrilled. Flair struts and gets cheered, so they do it again. Ric shakes Jarrett’s hand and that’s that. The match actually starts now and Studd is a giant. Jarrett manages a suplex and a bad figure four ends this.

Jarrett says it’s time for WCW to band together to take out the NWO. Also Giant won’t be able to chokeslam him. Flair comes up and says that he’ll be back to get his revenge for his injury.

Hour #2 begins. The announcers talk as usual.

Lex Luger vs. Roadblock

Roadblock weighs about 400lbs. He goes right after Luger and that doesn’t work all that well for him. A clothesline sends Roadblock to the floor and he’s rammed into various metal things. Back in Luger slams him but can’t hit the jumping elbow. In an inset interview, Anderson says that time is running out on Lex and he’ll make him quit Sunday. A kneedrop gets two for Roadblock. Luger starts Hulking Up and calls for the Rack but drops the big guy twice. The third time works and Roadblock insta-taps.

Rating: D+. Just a basic power match for a hero to show off like Luger did here. Roadblock was another huge guy that did practically nothing while the other guys would beat him up and it was supposed to be impressive. I think Luger would beat Anderson on Sunday in one of Anderson’s last big time matches.

Buy the NWO Shirt!

Lee Marshall is in Phoenix and Nitro is there next week. Why did they keep doing that? I still don’t get it.

Harlem Heat vs. American Males

Eric talks about the Braves beating New York tonight, which he says needs to become a tradition. It’s a jab at Vince so Heenan cracks up. Eric says this is non title but Patrick holds up the titles anyway. More WWF jabs as Riggs vs. Ray starts us off. Power vs. speed here with the power team taking over, hitting a World’s Strongest Slam to put Riggs down. Bagwell comes in and we talk about Savage a bit.

Marcus throws Stevie over the top but it’s momentum or whatever despite Bagwell THROWING HIM OVER THE ROPES. We take a break and come back with Booker getting worked over by Bagwell. Booker powerbombs him down and the Outsiders are here. The NWO wants Nitro apparently. Stevie pounds away and since that’s the extent of his offense it’s back to Booker. The Hangover misses and here’s Riggs again. Everything breaks down and Riggs goes after the Heat’s managers, allowing the Harlem Side Kick to end him.

Rating: D. This was really boring as the Heat seemed completely uninterested. The Males would be split up next month as Bagwell would turn heel for the first of about 8,000 times. This wasn’t much of a match and it wasn’t very good, primarily due to Booker having to do all of the work for his team.

Faces of Fear vs. Fantastics

The Fantastics? REALLY? They brought these guys out of mothballs? Don’t get me wrong: they were my favorite 80s NWA tag team so I’m not complaining, but this is late 1996. This falls under the category of Greg Valentine. This would be their only WCW match too. Fulton chops away at Meng and he’s like dude….no. The announcers talk about Savage some more and they’re not sure if he’s here, despite him being scheduled for the main event.

A double dropkick puts Meng on one knee and the announcers say that the Fantastics have no chance in this. Eric keeps telling us the Braves score because that’s required for some reason. Fulton tries to fight back and Eric laughs when he punches and kicks. A piledriver kills him dead but Fulton makes the save. The double headbutt hits and Eric is all happy because Sting might be here. Hot tag brings in Rogers and he gets in some offense but his cross body gets caught and a big boot from Meng ends this.

Rating: D-. I love the Fantastics, but I have NO idea what they were thinking bringing them in here. They looked old and pale and the Faces of Fear destroyed them. It was a total squash and Eric was burying them on commentary. It’s not like they were a regular team either. This was their only match in WCW and I think Rogers would go to ECW for awhile. I don’t get this one at all.

Remember that Liz video that Eric was afraid messed Savage up? Let’s watch it again, because that’ll get Randy’s head straight right? Liz still loves him is the point of this. Eric says he has more footage for later.

JL vs. Sting

And it’s the NWO Sting. The whole NWO comes out to watch. A few fans are fooled for a bit but it becomes clear what’s going on pretty quickly. The NWO comes out of the crowd sans Hogan. Total squash and the Deathlock looks to end it in like a minute, but the REAL Sting comes out. He’s in all black and has white facepaint. The match is thrown out.

Sting debuts the Death Drop and he destroys the Fake Sting. The NWO lets this happen so everyone thinks Sting is NWO. He hooks the Deathlock and the NWO comes in. DiBiase offers him a spot on the team and the whole team tries to tempt him. Eric is WAY too intense about this. I get that it’s supposed to be serious but he gets all melodramatic about it.

Hall asks a legit question: what does Sting have to show for carrying the WCW banner this whole time? Sting talks about the Fake Sting and says the real version may or may not be in their price range. The only thing for sure about him is that nothing’s for sure. He leaves and you can hear the money being printed from here.

Chris Benoit vs. Randy Savage

Eric has left to try to flag down Savage. Here’s Savage but he’s all in black and they’re “street clothes”. I’m not sure what street people walk down looking like that but I don’t think I want to be there. Eric apologizes and rolls some tape. It’s from the 3 Ninjas movie set with Hogan hosting things for lack of a better term. Hogan talks to the director and says he has a lot of things he needs to do and that it can’t go over budget.

The NWO takes over production of the film. Giant is the new director, Hogan is producing and Liz has a cameo. Hogan makes Liz say she loves Randy. Hogan is in a wig here and it’s really not working for him. This is really bad. Hogan sends Liz to his trailer with Giant escorting her. Hogan comes into the trailer and yells at her. He and Giant talk a bit more to end this.

Back in the arena Savage isn’t sure what to do. There’s no match of course. Savage says it just occurred to him how fragile friendships and relationships can be. Business and marriages can be fragile too. Life is also fragile and with that Savage leaves. Eric calls him back…and that’s it.

Overall Rating: D-. Really weak show here, which is the second in a row. Havoc sucked and the Savage vs. Hogan match was a big reason why. It wound up being a comedy match and Savage was just fine after the last two weeks of him being all mopey and depressed. This built up the PPV a bit but overall, there wasn’t much here. At least we don’t have to hear the words Slim Jim’s every 8 seconds now.

Here’s Halloween Havoc if you’re interested:

http://forums.wrestlezone.com/showthread.php?p=2182496#post2182496

 

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Monday Nitro – October 14, 1996 – Liz Loves Randy

Monday Nitro #57
Date: October 14, 1996
Location: Mid-South Coliseum, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 6,930
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan

We’re in Lawler country tonight as the seemingly never ending build for Halloween Havoc continues. Thankfully with this set of two I’ll be doing we’ll get to that show so we can get to November and Eric joining the NWO. The show tonight is nothing all that significant but we’re getting closer to 1997 which stuns me that we’ve gotten this far. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Savage getting destroyed while Liz was held and forced to watch.

Dean Malenko vs. Brad Armstrong

Armstrong beat Dean on either Saturday Night or at a Clash. There are NWO fans holding up big signs on the non-camera side, because the fans behind them don’t need to see right? Nick Patrick and his neckbrace are refereeing again. There’s an NWO chant. Brad speeds things up and sends Dean to the floor. Malenko is heel still here. Into the ring again and Dean hooks something like a seated abdominal stretch.

The announcers talk about Sting being gone for awhile already. Man they had no idea what was coming did they. Brad gets some two counts, including one off a nice Russian leg sweep. Belly to back gets the same. Dean gets a SWEET rollup into a three quarter nelson for the pin. Armstrong got caught.

Rating: C-. Fairly uninteresting mat based match here but I’ve seen far worse. Brad and Dean worked a more technically based style here and while it’s good, it doesn’t do much for the audience. That being said, they were more interested in the NWO stuff than the match, but that’s modern wrestling for you. Nothing great but it was fine.

The NWO gets here.

Jim Duggan vs. Mr. Wallstreet

This is a rematch because this is the feud the world is dying for right? The idea is that Nick Patrick screwed Duggan out of a win in the first match so this has a different referee. Duggan uses power to start as Larry blasts Hacksaw every chance he can. Wallstreet comes back with a clothesline for one and then goes to a chinlock. Larry talks about the amount of water in the average human’s brain for no apparent reason. Leg drop by Wallstreet and it’s off to a chinlock again. Wallstreet jumps into a boot and Duggan tapes up his fist. Wallstreet gets it away but the three point clothesline ends him.

Rating: D. What in the world was this on TV for? It wasn’t a bad match or anything, but it’s IRS vs. Jim Duggan in 1996 on national TV. I don’t get it at all but I’d assume it’s because Duggan is one of Hogan’s buddies. Not a horrible match, but for the life of me I don’t get it. This was a rematch on top of that. Why did it need to be on Nitro? Isn’t that what Saturday Night was for?

Hugh Morrus vs. Jim Powers

The inexplicable kind of push of Jim Powers continues. Tony thanks “Mr. Lawler” for promoting the show. He’ll be at the flea market on Thursday, which is where the USWA had a lot of their shows around this time. I’m legit surprised by that. Powers slams him down and gets a cross body for one. Morrus rolls to the floor and I’m still wondering why Powers is getting TV time.

Back in and Morrus remembers he’s against Jim Powers and takes over. Suplex gets two. Flair isn’t here tonight. Morrus seems really bored out there and I can’t say I disagree with him. Flair’s shoulder injury is worse than previously thought. It would result in him being stripped of the US Title I believe. Powers gets a sunset flip for two.

A knee lift puts Morrus down as Teddy is complaining about Patrick’s cadence of the count. Oh yeah it’s bad as it takes four seconds to count one. Powers gets a small package and there’s no count because Patrick is holding his neck. A belly to back sets up the No Laughing Matter for Morrus’ pin. The count was fine there. Teddy gets in Patrick’s face post match.

Rating: D-. I get the idea of Patrick being crooked and not counting properly and all that. That’s an old standard angle and it works fine. But why in the world are they using it on Jim freaking Powers? I don’t get it. He’s JIM POWERS. They couldn’t use this on anyone else? Was this really the best option they had? Not the Steiners or someone like that? I don’t get it.

Greg Valentine vs. Lex Luger

Again I don’t understand why Greg Valentine kept getting time on this show. He’s fine in the ring, but why him of all the people that were available? Luger has taped ribs due to the attack by Anderson last week. Valentine goes for the arms instead. That’s what we mean by lack of psychology. Thankfully he wakes up and punches Lex in the ribs to take over. Luger can’t suplex him because of the injury.

Valentine works on the back as Anderson is watching in the back on a monitor. Greg works on the back as DiBiase and Vincent are standing in the crowd watching. Hogan has demanded to make an announcement tonight. Valentine works on the back some more. I’m glad the arm work only lasted a few seconds. Tony and Larry want to know where Sting is because they need him.

Luger’s back is rammed into the corner and it’s been all Valentine for the most part here. They collide and both go down. Lex starts his comeback and hits the forearm smash for two. Valentine gets an elbow up and puts his feet on the ropes for a rollup. As he’s arguing with the referee the ribs heal enough for the Rack to get the submission. At least he was wincing during the hold.

Rating: D+. Not a horrible match or anything but it was almost eight minutes long. Just like in the previous match, I don’t get it. WCW made some curious moves at this point but at the same time you can’t say that the results didn’t work so the complaints would be at a minimum here. Actually they’re not even complaints but rather questions.

Tony talks to Nick Patrick and tells him that the fine against Randy Savage will be $500 instead of $1 million. Also Savage has to miss the first five matches (not said if that means the first five Nitros or not) of 1997. Patrick says WCW will be hearing from his lawyers. Tony shows us a clip from NWO Saturday Night which was the NWO segment where they would beat up jobbers in an empty arena. They had their own referee in a ski mask and it looked a lot like Patrick. He says it looks more like Randy Anderson, who is about 6 inches shorter than Patrick.

Mike Enos vs. Randy Savage

Hour #2 begins during Enos’ entrance. There’s no Bischoff for commentary. Oh ok he’s going to interview Savage during the entrance. Eric intercepts him and there’s a TV monitor wheeled in. Savage says if Hogan is here, let’s do Halloween Havoc here tonight. Eric wants to talk about Liz and Savage says don’t go there.

We look at a video message from Liz sitting on a swing in front of a tree. She says she’s sorry and that she was doing things to get his attention when she thought she was doing them out of anger. Savage built her this swing apparently. To the best of my knowledge, the fans can’t see any of this. Liz asks him for forgiveness and says she’s made a lot of bad choices. The worst was siding with Hulk so he could hurt Savage. Liz needs Savage and begs him not to leave her alone. She feels the same way about him today as the day she said I do.

Back in the arena and Savage looks stunned. Eric says he didn’t know another way to do this. You know, because locker rooms don’t exist right? Savage doesn’t know what to say and has a great look on his face. Eric won’t shut up and leave him alone so Savage walks out and heads into a conveniently waiting limo. No match with Enos obviously.

Eric is on commentary now. The announcers debate whether or not it was a good idea to tell Savage about the message.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Cheetah Kid

Cheetah is allegedly Rocco Rock in a mask but I’m not completely sure on that. Oh there’s no way that’s Rocco. He’s ripped and much darker skinned. Ah apparently Cheetah Kid is a character Rock used to play when he was starting out. That makes much better sense. Apparently this is a local guy from Memphis getting a tryout. Works for me. Eddie flies around a lot but gets caught in something resembling an Angle Slam for two.

A nice powerbomb gets no cover for Cheetah. This is really just a tuneup for Eddie before his match with DDP at Havoc. Eddie gets sent to the floor and Cheetah hits a springboard dropkick as Eddie is on the apron. Cheetah goes up and gets crotched so Eddie can hit the rana off the top and the Frog Splash for the pin. Not enough to rate but Cheetah wasn’t bad at all. I’m curious as to who he was.

Video on Jeff Jarrett.

Lee Marshall is on the road and talks about how great it’ll be next week in Minnesota. Ok then.

Big Bubba vs. Jeff Jarrett

Since this is in Tennessee Jarrett is very popular. Eric makes fun of Jarrett’s country singer gimmick and says it’s about wrestling here. Bubba gives him a chance to run and Jarrett doesn’t seem interested. We do a Memphis level stall as both do various kinds of taunting before Bubba grabs a headlock. Now we’re talking about the WWF for awhile and the AWA. Oh it’s Hogan who said he made both of those companies. Well the AWA collapsed after he left so maybe he didn’t make it but he kept it alive for awhile in a way.

Out to the floor and Bubba keeps control. Jimmy Hart gets in some shots and Jarrett glares him away. Off to a chinlock so Bubba can talk to Jeff a bit. He hits a solid big boot to put Jarrett down. The announcers get bored so they talk about the NWO for awhile. Big right hand gets two for Bubba. He misses a charge into the corner and Jarrett hits an atomic drop but goes after Hart before the Figure Four. Bubba hits a spinebuster and smacks the referee. Jimmy slides in the Megaphone which is dropkicked into Bubba’s face for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a Memphis match for the Memphis crowd which doesn’t do a thing for the TV audience. That being said, they’ve had the last few months of shows booked for them so I can’t complain about something like that. Jarrett would be the replacement for Flair soon and would get into a feud with McMichael soon enough. He wouldn’t get over or anything, but who cares about that.

Jarrett is announced as the replacement for Flair.

Harlem Heat vs. Faces of Fear

This was supposed to be for the titles but the Heat said no so it would be a guaranteed title match against the Outsiders. Meng vs. Booker starts us off and Meng hammers him down quickly. Here are Benoit, Mongo and Debra for no apparent reason. Oh that’s right they’re scouting the Faces of Fear for the PPV. Stevie comes in and hammers on Meng but after missing a dropped elbow it’s off to Barbarian.

Stevie hits a bicycle kick to put Barbarian down. Come on people, learn your racial stereotypes. He chokes away and brings in Booker to give some variety to things. Hook kick gets two. Meng breaks up what was presumably the missile dropkick and Barbarian hits a belly to belly superplex. Back to Meng who hits a Batista Bomb for two. A double headbutt has Booker in trouble but Meng won’t cover.

Booker gets a bad looking sunset flip and the Outsiders are here. They’re in the front row this time and the match comes grinding to a halt again. Everyone stops to look at them on the floor and I think it’s a double countout. Knowing this show there was a pin in the ring and we just didn’t see it but whatever.

Rating: D. Total clash of styles here and it didn’t work well at all. Everyone was pretty much just killing time until the Outsiders came out for the match to end. I’m going to assume it was a no contest. I guess it makes sense for this not to be for the titles but it wouldn’t have hurt anything I don’t think.

Eric talks about Savage and how Hogan is going to be in trouble at Havoc.

Here’s Hogan for the final segment of the show. The rest of the NWO complete with Liz comes out behind him. Current total number of males in the NWO: 8. Hogan thinks Savage could at least come out here and fight. He talks about being in Hollywood filming the next 3 Ninjas movie and can push whatever button he wants on Savage. Hogan calls Liz an actress and she tries to slap him but fails.

Here come the Nasty Boys in NWO shirts. Hogan calls them family and says if they need anything just to let him know. Knobbs has the contract and says there’s a screwup in it because the decimal point isn’t right. Hogan hasn’t signed it and says the Nasties shouldn’t have the shirts on yet. There’s the beatdown for the Nasties. Hogan says this is just a little bit of what will happen to Savage at Havoc. He says Liz wanted him when she and Savage were married. Liz is coming with him to Hollywood to finish his movie.

The NWO takes over the broadcast booth again to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Not their best show here as it feels like we’ve been building up to Havoc for six months at this point. The whole Savage vs. Liz thing is interesting but it’s nothing that was going to go anywhere since Savage would join the NWO early next year anyway. Thank goodness the next show is the last one before the PPV because it needs to move on to WW3 already. Weak show but not awful.

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Monday Nitro – October 7, 1996 – Monster Trucks And Limos

Monday Nitro #56
Date: October 7, 1996
Location: Savannah Civic Center, Savannah, Georgia
Attendance: 4,300
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Eric Bischoff, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

Please let this be more interesting than last week. I don’t think I can take another one of those shows. This is another build to the Halloween Havoc PPV show and hopefully we’ll get some followup on the Liz in the NWO hotel room stuff from last week. The main event is Flair vs. Savage (it’s been a few months so I don’t mind as much) and another Benoit vs. Steiner match for some reason. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of the end of the show last week. I don’t think we saw what was in the package that Vince brought in, which he seemed a bit nervous about.

We get a clip of Harlem Heat winning the tag titles back from Public Enemy on WCW Saturday Night.

Harlem Heat vs. Public Enemy

Nice to see them get this out of the way quickly. And this is non-title……why exactly? The new champions don’t even get an introduction. That’s a very odd way to start a title reign isn’t it? This is about respect or revenge or something like that. The Heat takes over pretty quickly but Patrick is knocked to the floor and is down as we take a break. Back with Liz trying to get in Savage’s dressing room. She walks in but Randy is gone.

Back to the match as Rock is in a camel clutch. Harlem Side Kick gets a very delayed two. Off to a chinlock after Sherri cheated a bit. This isn’t the most interesting match in the world. Rock gets double teamed down in the corner again. The NWO is in the arena. I don’t think I see Hogan in there though. The match of course stops and they have a microphone. The Outsiders threaten Harlem heat and make Slim Jim puns.

During this whole things it’s almost all chinlocks and rest holds. Larry wants to know how they got on WCW’s frequency. That’s a really good question actually. The NWO shuts up as Booker misses a middle rope elbow and both guys go down off a clothesline by Rock. Public Enemy takes over until Colonel Parker interferes and Rock falls off the top onto the table. The Heat goes after Grunge’s bad knee with a chair and they drop a top rope knee onto the chair onto the bad knee for the pin.

Rating: D. Boring match in the first place which is dragged even further down because of the Outsiders stuff. I’d still like to know why this wasn’t non-title. I mean, the Heat wins and they look pretty dominant doing it, so why not add on something like a title stipulation to make it more interesting? Not much to see here but part of that is due to the match stopping cold because of the Outsiders.

A limo arrives and Jeff Jarrett has jumped ship to WCW.

We get a clip from Saturday Night of Nick Patrick fining Randy Savage one million dollars. No word on if it was ever paid or not, but I remember this moment as it aired.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jim Powers

After a basic power man opening by Powers, we get a quick promo from Page about Eddie. Nothing too special, but it’s nice to hear them actually talk about their upcoming matches. Cross body gets two for Powers. He tries a full nelson but Page escapes and the Cutter ends this. Quick match.

Page roughs up Teddy Long post match but just shoves him.

Here’s Macho Man to a big ovation. He brings out….oh for crying out loud he brings out a racecar driver. This is what you would expect from it to be. I still don’t care. The NWO car wrecked so Savage declares victory for WCW. So uh….about that ex wife possibly joining the evil team stuff? Can we talk about that or anything like that? Nope, it’s still racing chat.

Savage takes like two minutes teasing how high he finished in the race. He finished 10th and this is supposed to be a big deal. Savage talks for four minutes and doesn’t talk about Liz AT ALL. It’s all racing crap and I’m tempted to fast forward. Oh and he’ll beat Hogan. Liz FINALLY comes out and Savage won’t talk to her. Well there was really a point to that.

Faces of Fear vs. High Voltage

High Voltage is Rage and Kaos. The Tongans jump them and it’s Meng vs. Kaos to start. Jarrett will wrestle tonight. The Horsemen are in the aisle since they’re against the Faces of Fear at Havoc. Total dominance here as Rage is beaten down. Powerbomb gets two. A slingshot into a big boot (nowhere near as cool as it sounds) ends this.

Rating: D. Nothing match here but it was a decent enough squash. High Voltage was never worth anything but Kaos was Rick Steiner’s pick to be one half of the tag champions at one point for no apparent reason. The Faces of Fear got a mini-push until the end of the year and got the title match at Starrcade. Just a squash here.

Glacier vs. Mike Wenner

What a great jobber name. It’s pronounced Winner. Glacier has the weird lights like Sin Cara has at the moment. He takes Wenner down with the leg sweep and goes for the arm. The fans think this is boring and I’m not going to argue with them that much. Glacier hits an over the top rope dive and a spinning kick ends this. Total and complete domination. He wouldn’t be on Nitro again until December.

Glacier does martial arts until the second hour starts.

Eric announces Jarrett as part of the NWO. Where did he get this information?

Jeff Jarrett vs. Hugh Morrus

Jarrett hadn’t been on TV in the WWF for about 8 months so this wasn’t exactly the biggest shocks ever. Eric keeps telling us that Jeff is in the NWO and I still don’t get where he got that from. Heenan asks Eric where he went last week and Eric brushes it off. Morrus takes over after about a minute and Jeff misses an enziguri. The announcers are blasting him every chance they get. I think it’s something about Jeff wanting a shot in WCW and Eric saying no, so it must be the NWO that brought him in.

Jarrett takes over with a great dropkick for two. Powerslam gets two for Morrus. The announcers want to know where the NWO is because they usually have their members’ backs. Maybe because no one ever said he was in the NWO? Morrus misses a top rope elbow and Jarrett wins it with the Figure Four.

Rating: C-. Eh this was just ok. Jarrett would be around for about a year before he headed back to the WWF to be a really annoying country singer which he would be for another year before he got his hair cut and turned into a male chauvinist pig. This was just a basic introduction to Jarrett which was fine.

Tony talks to Jeff and says he’s part of the NWO because he got out of a black limo. I’m serious. That’s their rationale for saying that Jarrett is in the NWO: the color of his car. Jarrett talks about Hogan bragging about how he made promoters like Verne Gagne and Jerry Jarrett (Jeff’s dad, big time promoter in Memphis back in the territory days), and says that Hogan didn’t make either of the Jarretts. He goes on an old guys are awesome rant and tells the NWO to stick it.

Buy the NWO shirt.

Renegade vs. Arn Anderson

Renegade still had a job at this point??? He was an Ultimate Warrior rip-off (same mannerisms, look, style, Hogan talked about him being the Ultimate Surprise etc) and he squashed Anderson for the TV Title in 95. The problem was he made Warrior look like Shawn Michaels in the ring. Anderson controls to start and breaks up a sunset flip. Renegade is looking like the jobber that he should have been.

The fans chant for the DDT as Eric sings WCW’s praises, in this case that of Harlem Heat. Anderson works on the arm while Eric kind of bashes the other announcers for bailing on him. You know, like he did to them last week but we’re not supposed to remember that I guess. Renegade gets a shot in and Tenay suggests that Jarrett might be the swinging point for WCW. Oh dear. Eric still doesn’t trust him. Handspring elbow by Renegade but the second is broken up. DDT ends this.

Rating: D+. Squash here and that’s fine. I still don’t get why Renegade has a job at this point but I guess there’s a logic to paying him a bunch of money somewhere. Nothing to see here and the Ultimate Warrior doing a cartwheel elbow is pretty stupid when you think about it. Nothing match and nothing to see here.

Anderson hammers on him post match until Luger makes the save.

Lex Luger vs. Dave Taylor

Why did Luger go to the back and come out again two minutes later? Luger says in an inset promo that he wants the TV Title back and that he’ll be ready for Anderson. The match is just what you would expect: Taylor gets in a few shots and then the Rack ends it. Basically a workout for Luger.

Anderson jumps Luger with a chair as Luger is leaving.

Chris Benoit vs. Rick Steiner

Scott is injured but is here with Rick anyway. Steiner goes right after him to start and pounds him down with ease. I still don’t get why this mini-feud is even happening. Belly to belly gets two. Off to a chinlock and we talk about an Olympic silver medalist talking about joining WCW, which wouldn’t happen. Another suplex has Benoit holding his neck and head, which makes me wince a bit given what we know now. After a two count we take a break.

Back with Benoit in control with a chinlock but he goes to the corner and pounds away when the cameras are back on. Scott goes after Nick Patrick a bit and Patrick freaks. An NWO limo arrives with Hogan inside with Giant. The match isn’t that important I guess. Hogan says watch this place because he has business to take care of. Benoit had Rick in a chinlock at the time so at least he was smart enough to think through it.

Eric rants about Jarrett some more and Benoit hooks another chinlock. Rick wakes up and hits a huge Steiner Line but Benoit just gets mad because of it. He chops Rick so hard Rick’s headgear falls off. FREAKING OW MAN! Swan Dive gets two. Benoit jumps into a suplex and then a DDT gets two for Rick. The top rope bulldog gets….two? Since we were having a decent match, here’s Debra to make sure it gets screwy. Mongo goes for the briefcase but Rick steals it and waffles Mongo with it (great looking shot) and then hits Benoit for the pin.

Rating: C+. Without the shenanigans and distractions, this would have been a pretty solid match. Rick certainly wasn’t much in his later career, but when he was on he was on pretty well which was the case here. Benoit was so hungry at this point and you could tell how awesome he would be if they gave him the proper push, which unfortunately never really happened.

US Title: Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair

After Savage’s entrance, the NWO is shown in the back and Hogan tells the Nastys to watch his back. He wants to talk to Savage on his own. DiBiase has the NWO contracts for the Nastys. We cut to the back and the NWO is standing over Flair who is out cold. Vincent takes the US Title belt with him. There was a sound resembling a lead pipe shot before we cut there. Liz is there and looks terrified. I think this was due to Flair needing legit shoulder surgery.

Liz is stalked into the arena by Giant who has the title. Hogan jumps Savage and beats him down with a chair. This beating goes on for like 7 minutes as Heenan shouts a very good question: WHERE IS THE REST OF THE LOCKER ROOM??? Trash is thrown into the ring and they do his outline in spraypaint. Hogan declares Liz and Savage null and void because he owns her mind, body and soul. Something about a contract is mentioned. Hogan says he’s going to destroy the broadcast booth and here’s an NWO monster truck. WHAT AM I WATCHING???

Overall Rating: C-. Better than last week for sure, but this show is crawling towards Halloween Havoc about as slowly as you possibly can. Most of the card is announced and they’re building things up, but the problem is everything is pretty much set and there is n’t much to have as far as matches on Nitro goes. Not a great show, but WAY better than last week’s.

 

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Monday Nitro – September 30, 1996 – All About Racecars!

Monday Nitro #55
Date: September 30, 1996
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Eric Bischoff, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

We’re still getting closer to Halloween Havoc here. The card here looks pretty uninteresting other than a few matches sprinkled here and there. This show gets a little boring until we get to 1997 and the focus is totally on the build for Sting vs. Hogan, which I can’t say I disagree with from a booking standpoint as it was the biggest match ever for WCW. Let’s get to it.

We talk about the NWO racecar and how shocking it would be if Kyle Petty was their driver. You know, for all the NASCAR fans that we had in 1996.

We throw it to Eric who lies about the roots of the company going back to 1905. He talks about tradition and all that jazz which is almost all he knows how to write so there you are. Eric basically cuts a promo here and my head begins to hurt as we have to hear about how he’s awesome and we see the focus shifting to him, which would happen a lot more over the next year. The massive NWO chant doesn’t help things.

Tag Titles: Juventud Guerrera/El Technico vs. Public Enemy

Technico is Billy Kidman under a mask. Even though they won the titles last week I completely forgot about Public Enemy being champions. Rock vs. Juvy starts us off and this is a squash. The champs hit something like Demolition’s old finisher for two. They turn Kidman’s mask around and hit the old Quebecers’ Cannonball to end this. Quick match here and a total squash.

Kidman goes through the table.

Benoit and Mongo say if the NWO wants a fight tonight, they’ll be ready. For the life of me, how did they never just let the Horsemen go nuts and go to war with the NWO old school, picking off one of them at a time until there was just Flair vs. Hogan? Benoit says he’s ready for Rick Steiner.

The NWO is in a hotel and Hogan’s son is there too.

Alex Wright vs. Dean Malenko

Dean has Rey’s mask which he stole recently. Tony tells everyone that the NWO is at the Marriott in Cleveland. This comes after Syxx could be heard ordering room service and saying the room number in the previous segment, making WCW all the stupider. After some feeling out processes, Malenko takes over with a belly to back as we take a break.

Back with Wright speeding things up and hitting a Japanese armdrag to take over. That doesn’t last long as they head to the floor where Dean takes over again. Dean works on the leg but Wright starts his comeback. He and Dean both miss top rope shots but Wrights grabs a cradle for the upset pin.

Rating: C. Decent match here and for TV, this was fine. Wright still never got the push that they always seemed on the brink of with him, although he’d win the TV Title sometime in 97. This wasn’t much but Dean would become Cruiserweight Champion again before too long if my memory is right.

We look at Saturday Night where Savage snapped as Liz was standing there watching and being all nervous. Savage beat up Nick Patrick too.

Savage is supposed to come out for an interview but is nowhere to be found.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Jim Powers

Nick Patrick is referee here and has a neck brace on due to Savage’s attack. Powers is of course a power guy and this turns into a fight as I think Powers is the almost kind of sort of a heel here. Overhead belly to belly puts Eddie down for a very delayed two. Now let’s look at the NWO fans holding up signs. Back to the chinlock and this isn’t going anywhere at all. Powers hits a superplex for two. Eddie reverses a powerslam into a German and gets the pin, but the idea is that Powers got a shoulder up in time (he did) but Patrick missed it.

Rating: D. This also went nowhere. The Patrick storyline went on forever but this didn’t mean anything without there being a clear heel to cheat for. Eddie didn’t have much to work with here either as Powers was a jobber and not a very good one at that. At least Eddie would fight DDP for awhile after this which was a lot more interesting and entertaining.

The NWO is still in the hotel room when the Nasty Boys come in. Everyone talks about Kyle Petty. For the love of chicken wings, NO ONE CARES.

Arn Anderson berates Liz for what happened last week with Savage.

Hugh Morrus vs. Brad Armstrong

Power vs. speed here and about a minute in we start hour #2, which isn’t going to distract the fans from the match or anything right? Time for the announcers to talk about Savage for the rest of the match. Oh and also about the Nasty Boys possibly defecting. Eric says he doesn’t want to take anything away from this match. Take a guess what he does next. Just take a guess. All the talking about the match for the next minute or so: he counts a pin and says there’s a clothesline. No Laughing Matter (two of them) ends this.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t half bad, but the commentary gets really annoying really fast. If I hadn’t been looking at the screen, I wouldn’t have had any idea what was going on in this. That’s WCW for you though: spend the matches talking about other stuff, because it’s not like anyone is going to get sick of hearing about it right?

Anderson and Woman yell at Liz about how it’s business or something.

Eric leaves out of fear, apparently wanting to go find the hotel the NWO is in….which Tony told us earlier.

Arn Anderson vs. Chris Jericho

Tony is in on commentary now. This match is the internet’s dream match but here we’re going to talk about the possibility of Eric joining the NWO. About two minutes in Tony gives us some token chat about the match. Jericho works the arm and Liz is watching in the back. Arn is sent to the floor where Jericho teases a dive but Arn gets out of the way. Chris is a step ahead of him though and puts on the brakes, hitting a shoulder block off the apron.

Woman gets involved to let Arn take over and Jericho’s inexperience starts becoming a problem. Arn takes over as Liz walks away from the monitor in the back. Anderson works on the arm but jumps into a dropkick to switch control again. A springboard clothesline sets up a top rope back elbow (love that move) for two. Lionsault misses and Arn grabs the DDT (BIG reaction for that) for the pin.

Rating: C+. Did you expect anything else here other than a good match? Jericho had a lot of the tools he would use later on to become a superstar and Arn was just about to the end of his career here, as I don’t think he was active much past January of 97. Still though, good stuff here and Jericho looked like a guy that got caught by a veteran, not someone that got crushed. That can make all the difference in the world sometimes.

Buy the NWO shirt.

Liz leaves.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Wallstreet

Luger vs. Arn at Havoc. I’ve never been a fan of Luger in the black boots. It never worked for him. He takes over quickly on Wallstreet with power stuff and drops some elbows for two. Wallstreet grabs an abdominal stretch and we talk about Bischoff some more. Time for a chinlock as this isn’t much of a match as far as being interesting. After that, more chinlock. Luger grabs a rollup after like two minutes for two. This is horribly boring. Wallstreet takes over AGAIN with a clothesline as this needed to end like 4 minutes ago. A suplex is finally countered into the Rack for the submission.

Rating: F+. This got SEVEN AND A HALF MINUTES. There’s no reason to have a match with these guys in it go that long at all. Boring match which was about half chinlock. Luger looked like a joke out here and it didn’t work at all. Weak match and nothing interesting to see at all.

We recap the entire Sting saga. As a peace offering, the WCW car is now the Sting car.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Faces of Fear

Meng vs. Morton to start with the power guy taking over to start. Morton tries like three sleepers, none of which work at all. Both teams switch off and there isn’t much to see here so far. We take a break with it being a stalemate. Look at the car before we go though because you’re southern and have to like car racing! Back with a sunset flip not working for Gibson. The second attempt gets two.

Ricky Morton plays himself, taking a piledriver from Meng for two. Morton hammers Meng’s head for no apparent reason so Barbarian kicks him in the face. That’s the basic answer for most problems it seems. Powerbomb kills Morton dead but it only gets two. A backbreaker sets up a camel clutch. Do they have camels in Tonga? Morton fires off a cross body out of nowhere for about two.

And never mind as Barbarian takes him right back down again. The announcers are talking about how they want to kill the NWO as the Faces of Fear hit a double headbutt for two. Gibson keeps making the save. I wonder if Morton is like DUDE, let them pin me already! Top rope headbutt misses for Morton and it’s a not hot tag to Gibson. The Express tries double teaming and hits the double dropkick to Meng but Barbarian kicks Gibson’s head off to pin him.

Rating: D+. Not a terrible match but this went on too long. It was over ten minutes and then there was the time during the commercial that we didn’t even get to see. The Express was just old at this point and the whole idea of their team was done about 8 years earlier. Nothing to see here, which is a running theme tonight.

Public Enemy comes out to stop a beatdown and gets destroyed themselves, including an attack on the knee of Grunge.

Back to the hotel room and this is still the same stuff from earlier. The car driver is here too now.

Chris Benoit vs. Rick Steiner

Patrick runs his mouth for some reason before the match. After a break we’re ready to go. This turns into a slugout, which we ignore, but that’s not the point I guess. The American hits a German on the Canadian to take over. Rick grabs a chinlock after throwing Chris around a bit. Big Steiner Line puts Benoit down as does a powerslam. Debra distracts the referee so Mongo can pop Steiner with the briefcase. Benoit falls on top for the pin. He got destroyed other than that.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t getting the idea here. I know they were pushing the idea that the Horsemen weren’t going to be outnumbered again, but was there really a need to have Steiner look totally dominant over Benoit here? I really don’t get that, as the Steiners were nothing but a tag team while the Horsemen were always tagging or in singles interchangeably. I don’t get this but whatever.

The NWO talks even more to end the show. Liz is there with them now. She’s joining them so they’ll spare Savage….I think. Vince brings in a package and Liz leaves. Savage storms up the hallway and screams at her as she drops a paper. He keeps yelling as we go off the air.

Overall Rating
: D-. This wasn’t that the show was bad, but my goodness was it boring. There was WAY too much NWO on here with so much of the focus being on that freaking racecar driver. The matches almost all sucked other than Jericho’s match and that one was just ok. The ending sets up a nice cliffhanger, but we need to get to 1997 fast, because not much else happens until we get there and to Page’s face turn. Bad show and probably the weakest since the NWO arrived.

 

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History of Survivor Series Count-Up – 1996 – Bret vs. Austin The Prequel and Rock Debuts

Survivor Series 1996
Date: November 17, 1996
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,647
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross

Now you can see the Attitude Era being born at this show, and it comes from one man: Stone Cold Steve Austin. Shawn Michaels is the WWF Champion, having won it at Mania 12. After beating Bret Hart, Bret left the company for six months and in that time, Austin won the King of the Ring and uttered the most legendary catchphrase of all time: Austin 3:16.

He then began calling out Hart, saying that he didn’t care what Hart had done, because Hart couldn’t beat Austin on Hart’s best day. That’s one of your main events. Your other is Shawn vs. Sid for the title. Yeah that’s kind of an afterthought here. We have our standard Survivor Series matches as well, with the debut of one of the biggest stars of all time here. I haven’t seen this show all the way through in years but it looks very good. Let’s see if it is.

We start off by seeing a big recap of how the WWF has been taking over New York, including the Hall of Fame inductions which they don’t even mention who was inducted so that should tell you how important it was. This was actually pretty good. I’m actually looking forward to this one.

Owen Hart/British Bulldog/New Rockers vs. Furnace/Lafon/Godwins

We immediately start it up here and Lawler is on commentary for this match only. That was a weird part to the show. Anyway, the New Rockers are heels here and it’s Marty Jannetty and Leif Cassidy, more commonly known as Al Snow. Now I’ve heard a lot about how great Furnace and Lafon are, but I’ve never seen it. They’re not bad at all, but they’re average to me. Maybe I’m wrong. I’ll give them another chance as I have no reason at all to hate them yet.

Oh apparently on the Free For All which was the preshow that anyone could watch, Bart Gunn was the survivor in a match. That’s a really bad sign for the rest of the evening. This is Furnace and Lafon’s WWF debut but they’re big stars in Japan. Ok then. The Godwinns have Hillbilly Jim and therefore are ridiculously popular. Like I’ve said, he’s one of those guys that was popular for a variety of reasons, but the biggest was that he never overstayed his welcome.

That’s something that a lot of unserious characters today need to get. Also, not all characters are going to be main event guys. Look at Kofi for example. Is anyone going to buy him as a main event wrestler? In the ring yes but not with that gimmick, and that’s fine.

Anyway, on to the match. We start with Lafon vs. Jannetty so already Lafon is the bigger name. Marty is just such an epic fail as a heel it’s unbelievable. Lafon isn’t bad at all. He’s not great but I’m not bored with him or anything. Now it’s over to Phineas, more commonly known as Mideon. All of a sudden I’d love to have Lafon back in there. Snow is really quite underrated. It’s a shame he always got such insane gimmicks.

The heels all beat on Mideon which gets a bit repetitive. The problem with this match is getting clearer and clearer: there is a complete lack of star power out there. I have no desire to see these guys wrestle each other at all. Ross is getting very heel-esque here with a lot of his lines. I’m assuming another failed attempt at making him a character would be coming soon. It never worked at all yet Vince did it like three times.

Marty and Henry go out within 10 seconds of each other, the first to a Slop Drop (Scorpion Death Drop) and Henry to a spinning heel kick by Owen. Well that was quick and not incredibly painful I suppose. Phineas has one of his weird fits where he becomes unstoppable and somehow even worse than he usually was. It’s very similar to Festus after the bell ringing. What is it with hillbillies and moods like that? It’s rather stupid.

Anyway, he walks into the powerslam from Davey and it’s 3-2. Furnace comes in and botches a dropkick. I’m not sure whose fault that was, but Bulldog was supposed to hold the ropes I think. Furnace landed on Bulldog’s back. It looked odd and was clearly a blown spot. Owen lands a Perfectplex. That’s just odd to see.

JR asks if he’s the only one thinking here as the referees are messing up by having the outside referee do nothing at all. Vince sounds so utterly bored that it’s downright laughable. Upon me actually thinking, Ross was indeed in the middle of a heel angle here. Considering it took me 10 minutes to remember that, you can tell how effective it was. Lafon hits a sick looking reverse suplex from the middle rope to end Cassidy and it’s the tag champions against Furnace and Lafon.

Bulldog hits a nip up. That was surprising. Ross says he looks strong. That…doesn’t make much since. The heels beat up on the faces for awhile until we get a slugfest between Lafon and Bulldog. In a perfectly fluid moment, Bulldog casually kicks him in the balls. That was a sweet heel move. Ross of course screams how awful the referees are.

Lafon gets Bulldog with a quick rollup to make it 2-1 and I think we can see the ending coming already. Owen gets the Sharpshooter as Ross is really getting annoying. Furnace breaks it up. Both guys are down after a sweet looking spin kick by Lafon to counter Owen. Furnace is in and he’s pretty good. He hits a bad release German suplex though where you can see that Owen’s head doesn’t actually hit the mat as he flips over. It was bad looking but most people won’t notice that so it’s fine.

Rating: B-. I’m not sure if I get the point of this match. I know it was to get Furnace and Lafon over, but did it need the other four guys? This could easily have been just a regular tag match, maybe non title or have ended with the heels running away etc. The wrestling was ok, but I found it to be overkill.

A certain rookie is nervous but ready. That takes two minutes to say.

We go to the boiler room with Mankind and Paul Bearer who say Taker won’t get their hands on Bearer. Foley had this character at a completely scary level.

Mankind vs. Undertaker

The catch here is that Bearer is in a cage above the ring. This was a white hot feud at the time as Mankind was a different kind of opponent for Taker for one reason: he might have been able to take a bigger beating than Taker which was unheard of. No matter how much he beat on him, Taker couldn’t get rid of Mankind. They traded wins in gimmick matches and regular matches, but Taker just can’t end him. That’s a nice touch and change of pace.

This is I think their 4th match on PPV. Bearer won’t get in and Ross thinks that it’s because he can’t fit in it. The gong goes off and the people freak out. Considering this is being written the night after Breaking Point, allow me: YOU TAPPED OUT! YOU TAPPED OUT! YOU TAPPED OUT! Oh that felt good. Anyway, his entrance is over the top even for him. He comes down from the rafters with his arms spread and his cape, yes it’s a cape, out behind him.

Yes, it’s the Undertaker imitating Batman. Just picture that for a minute. Where’s Doink when we need him? Did I really just say that? See what this show is doing to me and we’re 30 minutes into it. Bearer hides in the cage as we get underway. There’s a cage cam and Ross is way too excited about it. Taker’s outfit looks like it’s leather and shiny. Taker is not only Batman but apparently a dominatrix.

This was the very beginning of a new phase in Taker’s career as he began shifting more towards the evil monster and more demonic of a character. He shows this transformation by using a drop toe hold. He then goes to a wrist lock and then a Fujiwara Armbar. This is just odd to see. Taker is going after Mankind’s hand, which makes perfect sense due to the leathalness of the Mandible Claw. Taker misses an elbow and is up before Mankind. That’s just sweet.

Taker’s outfit reminds me of Rocky Horror for some reason. Ross hypes up a show in London for no good reason. He sounds like he did in WCW which is odd indeed. We hit the crowd which Ross calls the streets. Yeah that looks like a place people drive Jimbo. Back in the ring, we go to a wider shot that just looks odd. You can see the first two rows on either side instead of the usual closer standard shot. Taker bites the fingers used for the claw.

Call me stupid, but wouldn’t that be like asking for the hold to be put on you? The fingers are there, so why doesn’t Mankind just put the hold on? It sounds simple to me, but I’m no professional I guess. I’ll try to find a new catchphrase as I’m growing tired of that. He fights off the Claw as Ross won’t shut up about the freaking cage cam. The random painted on tear drop on Taker’s cheek is just odd.

Mankind finally hits the Claw for about a second but Mankind is launched to the floor to break it up. I don’t ever recall two guys this big doing bumps this hard for this long of a feud. That’s quite impressive, and the scary thing is their biggest match was nearly two years away at this point. As Piper would say, Old School is cool. I wonder if he liked Will Ferrell.

Foley goes up and Taker just starts popping him with big punches that sound sick. He sets for a chokeslam but the Claw breaks that up. Vince keeps calling the chokeslam the Goozle. What in the world is that? It sounds like a screwed up version of Google. Eventually he breaks it and chokeslams Mankind. Why didn’t he just bite him like he did earlier? Have some consistency please, I beg of you. Mankind misses a forward roll to the floor.

If he had done a barrel roll he would have hit it. Vince, stop suggesting things. I would suggest you shut up immediately. Who told you that you could commentate well? I want them shot. Foley has some weird spike thing. It sounds like he’s saying s a t. I never got the point of his babbling but I liked it. It added a weird something to his character that made him somehow even more insane, if that’s possible.

Anyway, as Mankind pounds on him, Taker just casually picks him up and tombstones him to end this. That was abrupt. Bearer is lowered down but the Executioner runs out to save Paul. He gets the quickest beating ever as the heels all leave. This led to a one off bad match between the two at an In Your House where Taker beat him up with relative ease.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t one of their better matches. That’s the problem that these two had: they had to top their last match every time and eventually they’d have something like this. It’s a good match, but by comparison it’s not much at all. Either way, this was pretty good I guess. It’s certainly passable, but the ending came from absolutely nowhere, which isn’t something I tend to like. Still, this was fine.

Sunny comes out for commentary on the next match with her very catchy song.

HHH’s Team vs. Marc Mero’s Team

Mero: Stalker (Barry Windham), Jake Roberts, Rocky Maivia
HHH: Crush, Goldust, Jerry Lawler

HHH is Intercontinental Champion here, which he would soon lose to Rocky. This is Rocky’s debut with the company and he’s just SO happy to be here. That would become his gimmick: he’s getting beaten up a lot, but he’s happy to be here. Eventually he would win the IC belt, and he was still happy. He lost it and he wouldn’t stop smiling. Then the crowd told him to die, and a gimmick change was needed.

The Rock was born and the rest is pure history, as opposed to unpure history which isn’t pure. We get a quick interview from the heels which is all standard stuff. Lawler’s music is so freaking snobbish that it’s awesome. He would more or less retire soon after this and just become an announcer. Ross says he is having a hard time getting a raise from Vince. That’s just weird to hear this early. HHH’s belt is white as apparently he’s channeling Warrior.

Sunny and Ross get into it as Sunny points out there’s no woman with HHH. Ross of course is ticked off at this because that’s what Ross does. He doesn’t have his hat either. Ross as a heel is just awful because he’s a whiny little an. Stalker is wearing a WWF t-shirt. I have no idea what this gimmick was supposed to be, but it completely failed. Mark Henry was supposed to be on the face team, but he’s been replaced by Jake Roberts.

I guess Mero was captain leading into this? Roberts was doing the preacher thing at this point and has the big yellow snake out. Jake’s music never got old to me. He did but his music didn’t. The alcohol jokes begin already. These intros are taking WAY too long. We cut to a shot outside the arena for no apparent reason other than to say we’re LIVE.

We start (finally) with Mero and Lawler. Windham has a handlebar mustache going on. It’s blonde, making it look very creepy indeed. Ok, no contact is made and Stalker is tagged in. I hate this match already. Lawler tags out. Stalker tags Mero which makes HHH run. There has still been zero contact. Sunny is talking about how downloaded she is and HOLY CRAP THEY’RE FIGHTING! Apparently Mr. Perfect is gone again as Helmsely threw him out or something.

Now it’s Stalker who is sloppy beyond belief. Oddly enough he’s a former world champion. Dang there’s a lot of gold in this. Ok so it’s just HHH and Rocky that had a lot but they make up for the rest. Again, Mero gets tagged in and HHH runs. This is just stupid. I get that it’s a heel tactic, but I want to see some wrestling, not a track meet. Why is Crush in this match? I don’t get it.

He would be joining the Nation soon enough, but at this point he has zero going on for him. I have no idea why he’s in this match either. Rocky vs. Lawler now, and good grief he looks awesome. You could tell they were going to push him to the freaking moon. He gets called Dwayne Johnson here, which I don’t think ever happened again. On to Rock vs. HHH, and the idea that they would steal the freaking show in less than two years in this arena blows my mind.

Everybody gets to beat on Rocky for awhile as Sunny apparently wants a piece of Rocky. Ross makes a reference to Crush being in jail and Vince doesn’t like it. Crush was a dark horse to be WWF Champion and he got sent to jail for weapons issues, throwing Vince’s plans off. If nothing else he would have won the IC Title or have gotten a huge push.

Sunny says Vince wears a toupee which amuses me. Rocky finally gets Jake in and the crowd pops hard. After a brief beatdown and some tasteless Lawler jokes, the DDT makes it 4-3 with Jerry being gone. Considering HHH would be in DX in a year, hearing Ross say he’s all business makes me laugh.

Windham comes in and gets less than no reaction. I mean the crowd is dead. Soon afterwards the Curtain Call ties it up. Finally the captains go at it as this match is just bad. Nothing interesting is happening at all and it’s just plodding through it. Rocky’s debut is the only reason for this match to exist. I just noticed something VERY weird. I downloaded a torrent of this show, but it’s clipped. It’s a tape of a British broadcast of it on Sky.

I found another version online, but the commentary is different. On the British version, there’s a lot of dead air time. On the American version, Sunny is insulting Sable. The rest of her commentary is there, but not all of it. That’s just very odd indeed. I’m assuming that it’s due to something to do with it being in the UK, but I honestly don’t know. That’s interesting if nothing else. Don Muraco is here. That’s just awesome.

Actually it’s not as Muraco is really overrated. This is just dull. It’s nothing but filler stuff here as they I guess have to fill their time quota. We go split screen to look at Sunny. Somehow that’s more interesting than a twenty something minute match. Mero puts out HHH with a moonsault. Oh wait, it’s a Merosault. I wouldn’t want him to speak out against me. Mero botches a flip over the ropes and crashes, leading to a Heart Punch from Crush to make it 2-2.

Less than thirty seconds later, another Heart Punch (which clearly hits Jake in the jaw) puts Roberts out. Well at least the most talented face is left. Sunny makes 2-1 jokes. So let me see: 2 midcard jobbers vs. a rookie hotshot. Hmm I wonder how this is going to end.

The Heart Punch misses and hits Goldust and a cross body beats Crush. A shoulderbreaker ends it as that was the perfect ending. A Coliseum Video Exclusive Interview says he knew he could do it. He’s really weak on the mic here, but it’s his first night so that’s completely excusable.

Rating: D. This was just boring. However, since it’s Rock’s debut, it’s certainly something that people should take a look at maybe once. He looked great out there in his first match in the big leagues and there was no sign of being nervous. The win was perfect because it didn’t make the bigger star, Goldust, look weak because Crush, another big star, did the damage that led to his elimination. As for the other six, it was a waste of 20 minutes.

We hit the recap of Austin vs. Bret and this looks great. The idea is simple: Bret represents tradition and old school, Austin represents the opposite. Austin calls him out repeatedly, and this is the showdown. That’s as basic as it gets. Apparently this is a #1 contender match also.

Austin says he’ll win.

Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin

The fans are starting to cheer Austin a bit. Bret says that he’s here for respect. JR says that he’d love to see this come down to a submission style match. Either he knew what was coming in 6 months or he’s a wrestling genius. Vince must have told him. Anyway, Bret gets a very good pop. It explodes when he hits the arena. The fireworks go off and you know this is going to be freaking epic to say the least.

The opening staredown looks like something out of a movie as the camera is positioned so that only their faces can be seen. Austin backs up and his face is replaced by his two middle fingers. That’s absolutely perfect. Ross AGAIN talks about how this is going to come down to a submission and says neither have tapped. That’s nonsense as Austin had tapped to a Sharpshooter on a tour in Kuwait that was taped before this match happened, but it’s WWF so it’s ok.

Why can’t this end in a pin? I don’t get that at all. Vince mentions someone putting the Sharpshooter on Bret and him tapping to it. This is either the most predictable company in wrestling history, or Vince made a lot of long term plans. Bret had been saying that Austin was the best wrestler in the world leading up to this match, and they start on the ground. That’s interesting to see from Austin.

He’s considered to be nothing but a brawler, but he doesn’t get nearly enough credit for what he can do on the mat. Vince tries desperately to convince us that Austin’s athleticism is the reason he’s getting cheered.

He just wouldn’t accept that the fans were changing and it nearly buried him. Ross says that Hart has done everything in Madison Square Garden other than beat Austin. Ok wait a minute. So, the only thing he hasn’t done is beat Austin? Has he beaten HHH? Rocky? How about has he staged a Broadway revival of Porgy and Bess? Apparently he has since the only thing he hasn’t done here is beat Austin.

Stone Cold is doing some SWEET mat work here, but Ross refuses to give him credit for it, saying he’s just brawling. You know, I hate Jim Ross. I think I always have. He’s this smug jerk that thinks because he’s been in wrestling forever that he’s owed something. Screw you Jim Ross. Grow up already. All you do is cheer for your friends and the people that kiss up to you backstage and other than that you’re just a ticked off, grumpy old man.

You sit around whining and complaining about how no one respects you and how you’re just doing your job. No you fat tub of goo. Your job is to call wrestling matches, not to be this son of a gun that tries to be the show. I don’t care how many freaking historic moments you’ve called, I don’t care how many times you’ve been named announcer of the year, I don’t care what you’ve had to put up with.

No announcer is more important than any wrestler and you need to get off your soapbox and do your job like an adult should. Until then, stop wasting my time. ANYWAY, now that I’ve ranted against JR a bit, I’ll get back to the match. JR (dang it) says that Bret has been obsessed with Austin for years. Wait, what? Austin had only been in the company like a year and a half at this point.

So wait, Bret was obsessed with a guy that wasn’t even in this company yet and was a rookie when Bret was already a veteran? See why I can’t stand Ross? Half the time he doesn’t even make sense. As Ross continues to complain about how he’s not respected, I’m tempted to mute this thing. According to Vince, Bret isn’t being offensive or defensive. Then what the heck is he being? Swiss?

Tomorrow there’s a toughman contest with Austin and Vader. This would be more commonly known as a hardcore match eventually. Ross keeps going with this stupid submission theory, despite Vince talking about how the Stunner is devastating. Austin’s psychology here is off the charts.

This is Bret’s first match in 7 months, so he’s using a lot of wear down moves to make Bret expend energy. That’s very smart indeed. Austin is doing stuff like fast covers one after another, Irish whips, things like that. They’re doing a very slow pace here, which I think is the way to go. They’re doing the slow build here, which is the right thing to do. It’s an older mentality that needs to make a comeback.

They’re into the crowd a bit as a simple throw breaks the barricade. It’s great to see how impressive the security is here. Now it’s completely down and there’s nothing keeping the fans from running into the ring. Austin fights back and gets a slingshot on Bret who hits the table but doesn’t go through it. Now we’re in a higher gear, but after the build they had it works a lot better. Ross comments on how it always happens to the Spanish guys. Oh how little he knows.

They do two more spots on the table and the freaking thing won’t break. That’s a tough table. The fans are all over this too. Ross says Vince needs to realize that it’s not 91 or 94 in this arena. Jim, I think Bret knows what year it is. So he wouldn’t want to get an upset win after getting beaten on forever? He would rather lose? You just make my head hurt. Austin hates the fans apparently. Geez Ross is talking about the submission thing again.

Where was this talking at Mania? Bret steals an Austin move with a stun gun. Why that little thief. He follows it up with one of the sweetest piledrivers I’ve ever seen. That was great. Bret goes up top for the second time in the match and this time it doesn’t work. We get some WOO chops, which surprises me as I would have thought it was too far north for that. Austin follows with a top rope suplex as these guys are freaking killing each other out there.

He hits the Stunner but pulls Bret away from the ropes which gives Bret the chance to kick out and Austin is MAD. He puts a Texas Cloverleaf on instead but Bret gets the ropes. Bret almost gets the Sharpshooter but Austin is out.

Austin locks on the Million Dollar Dream, but Bret gets his feet on the turnbuckle (his feet touched the ropes so the hold should have been broken but whatever) and kicks off, rolling over backwards for the pin. The crowd pops madly as Bret celebrates and Austin stares him down from ringside.

Rating: A+. This is a truly forgotten classic and it suffers because of a simple reason; it’s sequel might be the greatest match of all time. This was a classic example of a torch passing feud. Austin was clearly the future with Bret being the star of the past. This is what the WWE needs to do today with its young guys, but I could rant for days on that so I’ll spare you.

This match did a lot for both men. It showed that Bret still had it, while the announcers did a good enough job of pointing out how good Austin was. It also showed that Austin was indeed worthy of fighting in the main event as he had Bret on many occasions with Bret winning on a miracle at the end.
This along with the King of the Ring speech, the I Quit match and the Rock truck match are probably the combined reasons why Austin took the company over the top in a few years. Anyway, this is a classic and go find it. It’s worth the half hour.

We go to Doc in the back with Sid, who says that he’ll win. He’s just bad on the mic.

Lou Albano wanders out to the ring because I guess he got lost. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame last night. He’s going to do Spanish commentary apparently. Well ok then.

Vader’s Team vs. Yokozuna’s Team

Vader: Farrooq, Fake Razor/Fake Diesel
Yoko: Flash Funk, Savio Vega, Mystery Partner

Ross brought these two back into the company. Again, I have no clue what the point of this was. I’m guessing that it was supposed to be a joke or something, but at the moment the only joke was how low the ratings were. Fake Diesel is Kane by the way. Good grief how many characters did he have to play? Cornette is going to do commentary. Thank goodness. The Nation’s entrance with its own live rappers is just great.

Savio and Crush would soon join the team to make it the better version. Yoko weighs about 700lbs here and would be gone soon. Flash Funk’s girls, the Funkettes, were at least hot. I’m guessing this is his debut. Is there a need to have this match? Yeah it’s his debut. Why are we seeing this match? How was this not on the Free For All? He’s wearing yellow and red, which Ross says has never looked better in the Garden.

If you weren’t getting your face kicked in, that would be a great line. The mystery partner is Jimmy Snuka. Seriously? Cornette is PANICKING. So let me get this straight. We have a guy that wears 700lbs, a pimp, an old guy, and a career jobber vs. two fakes and a pair of former WCW Champions. Please, be quick. We start with Flash and Vader as apparently Snuka is a big deal.

He never won anything of worth and he’s old, yet he’s the best worker on his team. Let that sink in for a bit. Scratch that. 2 Cold Scorpio is better, but this is Flash Funk isn’t it? Never mind, Snuka takes it. I might as well not watch the match and just listen to Cornette. He’s miles more entertaining and interesting here.

Yoko comes in to stop Vader and it’s just embarrassing. All he can really do is punch and waddle. Farrooq is in his standard stuff now and looks far more intimidating. They really had something with him but they never pulled the trigger for some reason.

Ross says he could manage Vader better than Cornette. “You couldn’t manage a Wendy’s!” “I could if you were in town Cornette!” Can we just let Ross and Cornette argue all night long? Yoko’s tights might house a small city. Kane wrestling as Diesel is rather intriguing. Oddly enough, Kane uses the Punjabi Plunge on Funk, which is ironic at the moment since Kane has been feuding with Khali.

Funk is taking a beating here as Farrooq hits a SWEET spinebuster. Vader is called a great garbage man by Cornette which makes perfect sense in context. I’d write the line out but that would mean pausing the match and I don’t have enough heroin and cocaine to get me through the extra time. Snuka comes in and chops Kane. Snuka actually slams Vader with relative ease. That’s surprising.

Savio and Diesel are in now and shockingly, Vega botches a move, in this case the spinwheel kick, somehow going too high with it. Yes, he went too high on Kane. Diesel has to drop low early to get hit by it on the way down and it just looks awful. In other words, the kick was supposed to hit him at its highest point in the jaw. Instead Kane started falling before the foot did and the foot hit him on its way down, if that makes sense.

Savio goes out to a decent Jackknife. Not great, but since he rarely used it, not bad. Superfly Splash ends Razor, and then as Jimmy is celebrating, Kane blasts the tar out of him with a chair. In a botched moment, you can see Savio running through the door literally the second the chair connects, chair in hand.

The timing was off there but I get what they were going for. Anyway, everyone comes in and it’s a massive disqualification, so the match is over. Are you serious? At least we get some awesome chair shots in this brawl. Ross says it was a premature DQ. After two chair shots in front of the ref, it’s not enough. And you wonder why I can’t stand him.

Rating: D-. This was an absolute waste of 10 minutes. They couldn’t have done a quick…I don’t know…ANYWHING else but this? Let’s see. Vader wasn’t doing anything here, two guys are part of a big joke, Snuka is retired, one guy is debuting, one guy just got a gimmick change, and one has no story. Maybe this was the best they could do, but wouldn’t something like Funk vs. a jobber have worked better? The only reason this isn’t an F is Cornette.

Standard video package about Shawn vs. Sid. This has barely been touched on at all other than really basic stuff. The video package helped a bit.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Sid

Sid’s pyro is just awesome. Shawn’s is ok but not as good. There’s a kid dressed as Shawn. Oh yay. Shawn’s stripping thing got old fast. It looks like he’s limping a bit. This was a weird time for him, as he was having great matches but they were just random challenges. His title reign was kind of like Kofi’s US Title reign actually. The standard fast Shawn match starts us out as while Shawn is great, he’s a formula guy at times, which is fine, but predictable.

It’s like seeing a great movie that you’ve seen the ending of. It’s still fun, but it’s not as great as the first time. Sid nips up as well as apparently that’s the move of the night. The announcers talk about Jose Lathario for awhile and Vince is clearly uninterested. Shawn starts working on the knees, which is a very smart move as the announcers agree on. Shawn is actually getting booed here, which is surprising. Shawn reminds me of Edge a bit.

He was the undisputed king of the midcard, but he’s not a great world champion. The fans are really hating this actually. Shawn with a figure four now as they compare Sid to Diesel. They get back up and Shawn hits the post. As he’s getting back up, Ross says the post is still standing but Shawn isn’t. Sid kicks him in the ribs which Vince calls a kick in the teeth. Sid is getting big pops. Is New York completely stoned or something?

His offense is chokeslam, punch, kick, powerbomb. What’s the appeal of that? How in the world would he be main eventing Wrestlemania 13? The fans are booing the heck out of Shawn, which the announcers try to pass off as something Shawn shouldn’t care about. Yes, the announcers say a face shouldn’t care about the fans. We follow that up by JR saying it’s great to get the cheers. This needs to end. This is just run of the mill Shawn stuff here and while it’s good, it’s just not great.

Granted that could be blamed on Sid and his complete suckage. Naturally, Shawn makes a big comeback, culminating in him winning a fist fight and slamming Sid, because that’s really impressive don’t you know. The booing is just funny at this point as he’s the total face and no one likes him at all. Now that this match is getting even more boring, Sid puts on a Cobra Clutch because his epically diverse offense has made him so tired.

Sid hits the chokeslam with one hand which surprises JR despite him doing the same thing to Razor last year. Shawn gets a counter to the powerbomb which I legitimately thought was in slow motion. In a spot that made me smile, Shawn nips up and Sid takes his head off with a clothesline. That was great. Sid grabs a camera, which should be the whole match: random camera shots. It would be more interesting than this.

Shawn is up, but the referee feels the need to look at Shawn for a minute and a half so Sid hits Jose with the camera. Shawn gets the kick, but he goes to check on the old man like a stupid face would. The referee goes down and Shawn hits the floor again as we have no help for the old man that’s clutching his chest.

As I type that, JR mentions he might be having a heart attack. Sid blasts Shawn with the camera, leading to the powerbomb and a new champion. As soon as the three hits, the medics get there for Jose. I love that.

Rating: C-. This was a good match, but dang I didn’t want to finish it. It just had no build to it and the title change made no sense. I get that Shawn wasn’t working as champion…but SID? That’s the best idea they can come up with? SID? I will never cease being amazed by the idiocy of some fans.

They cheered for freaking SID. This just had no interest at all and I don’t think many people would argue with me. Shawn would get the title back at the Rumble but then 3 weeks later lose his smile and forfeit it.

Overall Rating: B-. The opener is good enough, Mankind and Taker is certainly fine but it’s one of their weaker matches, the third match was historic but bad, the fourth is an absolute classic, the fifth is laughably bad, and the main event is just ok.

There’s one truly bad match here, as Rocky vs. HHH is enough to raise up the third match. The worst match is the shortest so that’s always good. Overall, this is another show where the good stuff is good and the bad stuff is bad, but it’s worthwhile overall. It’s far from great, but it’s not bad.

A lot of it drags on and on, but when the good stuff is on screen, it’s some of the best there is. It’s worth a quick look if you’re interested, but the Hart vs. Austin match is absolutely required viewing. It did a lot for both men and set up the mega match in 6 months. Overall, the good outweighs the bad here, so it’s somewhat recommended.

 

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Monday Nitro – September 23, 1996 – The NWO Takes Over And It Sucks

Monday Nitro #54
Date: September 23, 1996
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 4,308
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone, Eric Bischoff, Mike Tenay

As mentioned on the previous show, this is the one where everyone not named Savage is in Japan. Eric, ever the lunkhead, mentioned this last week and the NWO knows about it. Expect a lot of unusual names on this show and a lot of matches that no one would ever want to see. Oh and a lot of the NWO as well I’m sure. Let’s get to it.

Tony holds up an ad that is allegedly in the USA Today, talking about Nitro being taken over by the NWO tonight. Larry talks about parasites.

We get clips of fans tearing up NWO stuff.

Konnan/Kevin Sullivan vs. Brad Armstrong/Juventud Guerrera

The two Mexicans start us off and Konnan takes it to the mat. Juvy is like “screw that in Spanish” and fires off a plancha and slingshot leg to speed things up. And there’s the 187 to stop that quickly. Sullivan won’t tag in so Konnan has to keep fighting. Armstrong comes in and cleans house a bit but there’s a powerbomb. Sullivan finally makes a tag and here are the NWO sign guys. Sullivan gets a pin. That’s literally all he did in the entire match: walk in and get a pin. Pretty much a squash match.

The Dungeon beats down Konnan for no apparent reason post match. And then they stop and help him up. It was an initiation according to Sullivan.

We get some clips from the end of last week’s show where the NWO said they were coming for Savage this week. Savage says he’s a marked man and if that’s what it takes to get at Hogan, that’s cool with him. He’s the last hope for WCW and says he volunteered to stay here tonight on his own. As for Liz, and I quote, “The only thing we have in common is that in a thousand lifetimes, we might be goldfish swimming in the same water.” Kids, don’t do drugs.

Mike Enos vs. Chris Jericho

We’re told that it’s Harlem Heat vs. Outsiders for the titles at Havoc. They start fast and Jericho gets slapped, as does Enos. Enos channels his inner JYD and gets on all fours to headbutt Jericho. Pretty basic match so far as we talk about Savage and the NWO. Larry says there was something else Savage said that Larry didn’t like. He doesn’t bother saying what that is, but I guess that’s an exercise left up to us.

They go to the floor and it’s all Enos. He loads up the steps and suplexes Jericho onto them, which isn’t a DQ I guess. Three minutes after he initially brought it up, Larry says it was the last hope for WCW line that he didn’t like. Off to a bearhug and then a powerslam for two. All Enos so far. Jericho gets put into a Boston Crab which isn’t ironic yet. Over the shoulder backbreaker now but Jericho counters into a sunset flip for two.

Missile dropkick puts Enos down and up to the corner we go. He sets for a super rana but Enos powerbombs him out of it (not as exciting as it sounds) for two. In a pretty cool ending that I don’t think I’ve seen before, Jericho counters a powerslam into something like a powerslam of his own (better than it sounds) for the pin. That looked pretty sweet actually.

Rating: B-. Much better match here than I was expecting. Enos was fine for what he was supposed to be here: a power guy acting as a foil for Jericho to look good against here. The ending was good too and it’s always fun to see a guy like Jericho getting one of his first big breaks on national TV. Fun match that did things simply but well.

Pat Tanaka vs. Glacier

Tanaka comes out to what would become Goldberg’s music. The guy that got the music became one of the biggest stars ever while Tanaka became the referee for Micro Championship Wrestling. It’s snowing again and we hear about Larry being a black belt also. Think they’ll be kicking a lot? Larry explains what the fist behind the hand for the bow means (wanting violence to be the second choice). They avoid kicks for awhile until Tanaka hooks a sitout powerbomb. Ignore that as a spin kick ends this in about 30 seconds. Glacier won in case you’re really stupid.

Tag Titles: Harlem Heat vs. Public Enemy

Arn vs. Lex is announced for Havoc as well. The champs jump them and double team Rock for a bit. Booker vs. Rock to start but it’s off to Grunge quickly. We take a break and come back with Heat in control now. Booker crotches himself on a kick attempt though and it’s a not hot tag to Grunge. Big clothesline puts Johnny down (it’s Booker T/Stevie Ray vs. Johnny Grunge/Rocco Rock if you’ve been confused so far) and it’s off to Ray.

Time to talk about Savage again and we have a table from nowhere set up on the floor. Grunge is knocked to the floor and hit his back on it on the way down. Well that sucks. A Harlem Side Kick hits Grunge for two and we cut to the back to see the NWO arrive, now in two limos. At least it’s a chinlock that we’re missing which is an old school technique for getting around this kind of stuff. It was usually used when there was a fight in the crowd or something. Whenever you see fans looking elsewhere, you’ll often see a veteran go into a rest hold to make sure the fans don’t miss anything. That’s how a good wrestler thinks.

The hot tag brings in Rocco and he cleans house as well as a dirty man like he can. He fires off a bunch of right hands but runs into the Heat. The Hangover misses for the most part (Booker’s back landed on him instead) and we get a near fall due to Grunge’s foot being on the ropes. There’s a small package on Booker and Rock reverses it for the pin and the shocking title change.

Rating: D+. The match sucked but this was the kind of surprise that was designed to make you think anything could happen. They lost the titles like two weeks later so that Harlem Heat could defend against the Outsiders so it’s not like this lasted a significant amount of time, but it was a good surprise and I was legit shocked when it happened.

Second hour begins.

Greg Valentine vs. Randy Savage

Eric says there’s a new NWO member tonight. I can’t think of who that would be as the next member wasn’t until October and it was nothing of note unless I’m totally overlooking someone. Valentine jumps him and that doesn’t work all that well. They go to the floor with Valentine having his token control period. We hear that Super Calo has injured his elbow in a dark match so he’s out for awhile. Savage clocks Valentine with a chair twice and that’s a DQ. The whole point of this is coming down the aisle though.

Here’s the NWO and it’s beatdown time. A Jackknife puts him down and Savage is in trouble. Giant grabs a mic and introduces Hogan. They beat him down even more and drop a leg on him. They even beat him with a Slim Jim. Hogan talks about Savage being bald and they spraypaint the top of his head.

They storm the announcers’ booth and Bobby runs with Tenay. Eric can’t get away though and the announcers sit down with him. They debut their head of security: Vincent. That would be Virgil from WWF. To be fair, no one cared about him or had heard of him in years so it’s not like this meant anything.

Ok so the NWO will be running the commentary for the rest of the night. Eric keeps trying to leave but can’t get away. They debut the NWO Nascar car which used to be the WCW car. Kyle Petty is the driver.

Jim Powers vs. Michael Wallstreet

Giant is the new announcer. Hall and Nash leave the booth and DiBiase sits down instead. The Outsiders are beating up Powers now so there’s no match.

Randy Anderson walks out so Nick Patrick says he’ll do all the refereeing.

Giant chokeslams Powers again and we cut to Hogan in the back, spraypainting something. He comes down the hall and runs into the Nasty Boys. Hogan gives them his hotel key and says tonight they won’t be fighting the Outsiders because they can talk some business with Hogan later. A defection is implied.

Jim Duggan vs. Syxx

It’s supposed to be Ron Studd but that doesn’t happen as Hogan and Nash beat him down in the aisle. We hear what might be the debut of the NWO theme song. Hogan jumps in on commentary which is something that is very rare to hear. Duggan takes over to start and gets the USA chant going. You know, Syxx is from Minnesota. Wouldn’t a USA chant help him as well? The three point clothesline hits but Giant pulls Duggan out and hits one of the worst chokeslams I’ve ever seen on the concrete so that Syxx can get the pin. He had no other offense.

NWO Sting vs. Bo LaDue

LaDue has never had another televised match as far as I know. Sting does the usual Sting stuff and no one buys it. Splash and Deathlock end this.

Hogan talks about Savage a bit.

High Voltage vs. Outsiders

This is part of the NWO Tag Team Tournament. The French Canadians are supposed to be the opponents but the Outsiders come out next so the French dudes run. I have no idea what there is to say about this. Hall beats on one of them, Nash beats on one of them, we take a break, we come back with more beatings, we get a Brooke/Nick reference, Hall suplexes Rage off the top, a Jackknife pins Kaos. That match lasted about 11 minutes.

Rating: F. Yeah it’s a squash, yeah it’s supposed to be dominant, yeah it was really boring.

The NWO talks for a few minutes to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is one of the benchmarks where you can see that everything is about TV instead of being for the live audience. Can you imagine how bored they’ve been for the last two hours of this show? Nothing has happened at all. The whole thing was about the NWO and they have no idea that Vincent is the new man either. This was all for the TV show, which is fine but it takes the crowd out of stuff quickly. Not a good show, but a lot of that is due to everyone being in Japan.

 

 




Monday Nitro – September 16, 1996 – As The Stinger Turns

Monday Nitro #53
Date: September 16, 1996
Location: Ashville Civic Center, Ashville, North Carolina
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone, Eric Bischoff

It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these. We’re done with Fall Brawl now and Sting is public enemy #1 in WCW, even though he showed up in WarGames and proved that he was innocent. The card is nothing special tonight but we do have a debut of a pretty big name which we’ll get to later on tonight. Let’s get to it.

Is there a reason why Hogan, the NWO leader and top heel for over two months now is still in the red and yellow and the first three pictures you see in the intro to a WCW show?

We open with some shots from last night with Larry and Tony talking about how it was all about Sting. At the end of the show, Liz came out to save the beaten down Savage and got her dress spraypainted.

Tony apologizes to Sting because we were supposed to know he was in Japan. Larry says if Sting is so sensitive he should get another job.

Apparently there were NWO guys at the entrance handing out papers with their logo on it.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Juventud Guerrera

The announcers are talking about Sting as soon as the bell rings. Rey grabs a weird looking backbreaker hold and Juvy grabs a DDT. The NWO wants their own TV show now. Glacier debuts tonight. GLACIER DEBUTS TONIGHT! Well kind of as for absolutely no apparent reason his debut match was on some Sunday show instead of here. WCW never thought things through.

We’re 90 seconds in and there has been absolutely zero nothing said about this match or the guys in it. I mean that literally. They have talked about everything else. Not even saying that was almost it on a two count. At 95 seconds, we start talking about the match with Juvy whipping Rey in. They speed things up and Rey kicks his head off with a spinwheel kick.

Scratch that momentum as Juvy takes over again and goes up for a springboard dive, only to see Rey dropkick him in the stomach to the floor. Rey hits a springboard rana as we take a break. During the break, we get an NWO t-shirt ad. Back with Juvy getting two off something we didn’t see. A springboard spinwheel kick and a baseball slide send Rey to the floor and an Asai Moonsault puts him down again.

Back in a springboard 450 gets two. Well he’s no AJ Styles. Top rope rana gets two…and here’s an NWO rally instead of the match. Back in the ring (that place with that wrestling stuff), Rey counters a top rope powerbomb into a mid-air rana (SWEET) for the pin to retain. We saw that move by about 4 seconds. I can’t wait for them to mess up something like that which I’m sure they will for the sake of nothing of note at all.

Rating: B. Oh come on were you expecting something other than a fast paced and fun match with these two at a combined age of 42? The lack of talking about it got annoying but that’s to be expected. Either way, very fun match even if the crowd didn’t care about Juvy. These two would have more classics.

Mongo and Benoit say how they should have been in WarGames instead of Luger/Sting so tonight they’ll take revenge on them. Now that sounds like something a Horseman would say.

We get a video on Glacier who talks in this. His Georgia accent ruins the image. I get why I never heard him talk other than this. Well not for several years at least. He talks about going to Japan to train and being taken in by an old master who is his sensei. His mask is a tribute to gladiators or something. This goes on WAY too long, clocking in at almost two and a half minutes. The accent absolutely killed this.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Ice Train

Train shoves him around a bit as I begin to think of a really bad tag team in the form of Ice Train and Glacier. They do a weird spot where it looks like they’re supposed to collide but they stop like an inch ahead of each other to eliminate all of the momentum. Weird. Page hits a top rope clothesline to take over and there’s a discus punch. Discus lariat follows it up but Page won’t cover.

The Cutter is countered and Ice gets a belly to belly to put both guys down. Train gets going with a spinebuster and powerslam for two as Teddy Long, Train’s manager, gets on the apron. Now let’s cut to the back for a shot of “fans” in NWO gear taking over the merchandise stand. While this is being shown, THE BELL RINGS AND WE HAVE A PIN.

Yes, they actually missed the end of the match to show “fans” putting caution tape around the merchandise stuff. Who won? Not mentioned. What did he win with? Not mentioned. We didn’t even cut back immediately and the stuff in the back kept going on even longer. Apparently Ice Train had a full nelson and Page grabbed Teddy Long’s towel to throw it in for a forfeit on Train’s part. We see that on a replay, but that’s beside the point. We didn’t see enough to rate it but it was fine.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the point where wrestling has officially stopped meaning anything. The match wasn’t much, but the company decided that showing people in the back (not wrestlers mind you, just “fans”) were more important. This is what the Attitude Era would become defined on over the next few years and would become the foundation of what Sports Entertainment was. We aren’t focusing on wrestling and competition anymore. We’re focusing on drama.

This kind of thing gets on my nerves. It’s one thing if there’s something of note to show, but this is saying to the wrestlers “Yeah, we know you’ve trained for years to do this and we know you’re working hard out there, but we have something more important than you to put on screen.”

If this was Hall and Nash beating people up or something, that’s one thing but that isn’t what’s happening here. It’s fans taking over a merchandise stand and it’s the second match this has happened in. Is there ANY reason this couldn’t have waited another two minutes? No, there isn’t and everyone in WCW is cool with that, which is why people stopped watching (in part): it stopped being about wrestling. This will become huge later on when we eventually hit the late 90s.

Anyway the fans take over the stand and put up NWO stuff.

Sean Waltman, formerly known as the 1-2-3 Kid, is in the front row and his release from WWF is acknowledged.

Konnan vs. Super Calo

Konnan is sent to the floor so Calo hits a flip dive (mostly) to take him out. Tony invites Mike Tenay to sit on his lap. Ok then. Back in Konnan hooks a top rope butterfly superplex before hooking a backbreaker kind of hold for a bit. We go back to the floor and Calo tries another spinning dive but leaves it short again, more or less slapping Konnan instead of landing on him.

Konnan takes over again and drops Calo with the Scorpion Death Drop. Here’s something you don’t see something every day: Calo hooks a headscissors/ankle rana off the top and Konnan lands on him. This is a really sloppy match. A missile dropkick to the floor mostly misses as does a regular one in the corner. Konnan drops him with what would later be called the 187 (fisherman’s brainbuster) for two and a powerbomb into a victory roll gets the same. The Power Drop (Razor’s Edge into a sitout powerbomb) gets the pin.

Rating: F+. The plus is for the speed of the match, but there’s no excuse for a match having this many misses and mistakes out there. Calo never got over at all for the most part despite being on TV pretty often. This was a horrible match from an execution perspective and I don’t think they knew if it was a squash or not.

The 1-2-3 Kid says he’s here because Nitro is hot. He asks Tenay who won WarGames and Tenay isn’t impressed. Waltman seems surprised the NWO won. Total “I’m in the NWO but I’m not saying I’m in the NWO” promo.

Hugh Morrus vs. Brad Armstrong

Nothing of note in the first minute. I have no idea why this match is happening. Armstrong takes over with a dropkick and we talk about Liz last night. Larry thinks Flair went through her alimony from Savage and dumped her. Tony: “How do you know how much she had?” Larry: “No matter how much she had, Flair could spend it.” Preach it brother! Morrus takes over and hits No Laughing Matter (moonsault) but makes a very casual cover, allowing Armstrong to quickly roll him up and steal a pin.

Rating: D+. What in the world was this? I really don’t get this: it’s the most random wrestling match and ending I’ve ever seen. It looked like a squash but we get that ending? It didn’t go anywhere or anything, so what was the point here? It wasn’t bad or anything, but why did it happen? I don’t understand this at all.

Hour #2 begins.

Here’s Savage for an interview. We get some shots of last night where the NWO beat Savage down and left him laying. Savage says he’s ready for Hogan and that’s all he’s got left.

The NWO arrives, including the fake Sting. They’re going to beat up someone tonight.

Randy Savage vs. Scott Norton

This starts in the aisle with Savage being all crazy again. A knee to the back puts Norton back on the floor and it’s Crazy Macho again. There’s the double axe off the top to the floor and we talk about the NWO wanting to beat him to death next week because there’s going to be no WCW guys around as they’ll be in Japan. Eric talks about how Sting was in Japan promoting the tour that he (Eric) set up but he didn’t realize it was the impostor last week. That’s either foreshadowing or really stupid.

Norton takes over with power and it’s the traditional Randy Savage beating. That’s more or less one third of what he did around this time: get beaten up, get disqualified, or hit one move, a slam and the elbow to end it. Savage takes over and we go to the floor with Norton getting sent into the barricade a few times. Norton gets slammed on the floor but grabs a DDT for two back in the ring. There’s the shoulderbreaker and Macho goes to the floor. He avoids being sent into the post and then WHACKS Norton with the chair for the DQ.

Rating: C. Pretty fun brawl while it lasted and it accomplished the goal that it needed to get through: making Savage look like a crazy lunatic that could kill Hogan if given the chance. They managed to kill the heat on the match because we needed to have Hogan vs. Piper for some reason. Anyway though, this was more fun than I expected.

Glacier vs. Big Bubba

Let’s get this over with. Glacier has his infamous overblown intro which cost thousands of dollars per time I believe. Bubba doesn’t get an entrance and it’s snowing in the arena. They have the blue lights ala Sin Cara/early Kane matches too. Glacier fights like a Power Ranger. Bubba finally gets in a punch and a big spinebuster but Glacier pops up and fires off a bunch of kicks because that’s all he knows how to do. A big spin kick ends this. More or less just an exhibition by Glacier.

Sting (the real one) is here and Eric says this wasn’t expected. This is a very famous moment. He wants to explain last week. Last Monday, he was on a plane coming back from Los Angeles. Important note to this: his back is to the camera and he won’t turn around. He talks about how Luger hasn’t come to see him and he’s tired of all the doubt. The fans are kind of booing him here.

That brings us to Fall Brawl where he was going to tell Lex to his face. Luger didn’t believe him there either. After everything he’s done, how dare no one believe him after everything Lex has done over the last year. That’s a really good point. He’ll stand by all the wrestlers and fans that stood behind the Stinger, but as for everyone that doubted him, you all can stick it. From now on, he’s a free agent. He’s going to pop in when you least expect him. With that, he walks out of the ring and leaves. That’s the last time he would speak on camera for about 16 months.

Ric Flair/Arn Anderson vs. Chris Jericho/Marcus Bagwell

Think this is going to get any attention from the announcers? Before the Horsemen come out we cut to the back where Liz is too scared to come to the ring with them. Before the match starts, Waltman stands up in his chair and holds up a box with a button on it. He presses a button and a ton of leaflets fall from the ceiling with NWO on it. Bischoff says Waltman is the 6th one (Hogan, Hall, Nash, DiBiase, Giant, Fake Sting makes six without him but I guess math is too hard for WCW).

After a break the papers are still falling. We at least get a bell. Arn vs. Jericho gets us going. The Canadian takes over with a dropkick for two to start as we’ll be lucky to hear 5 words about the match. Spinwheel kick puts Arn onto the floor as the papers keep following. Eric admits that he’s the Executive Vice President of WCW and admits he agreed to give the NWO their own TV show if they won last night or they wouldn’t fight. That would wind up being a segment on Saturday Night that was done for comedy.

Flair comes in to chop away at Bagwell but Buff (not yet Buff but who cares) fires back and it’s about what you would expect. The Horsemen double team a bit as there is zero heat on this match. Flair is crawling around on all fours outside and is mad about the papers. I’d be mad too if the fans kept throwing the papers at me. Anderson gets a spinebuster on Jericho for no cover. Tenay starts questioning Eric’s decision and it’s covered up well by Bischoff. It’s interesting to look for the hints to the swerves that would come.

Jericho gets beaten down by both guys and Heenan enjoys it way too much. As the Canadian gets his leg worked on Horsemen-style, we cut to the back where Giant is arriving and Waltman is with them with a small boom box. At least it’s split screen so we can see the match, as boring as it is. And there goes the splitting. They play a tape of “Sting” running his mouth about not trusting anyone. After about a minute of that, back to your regularly scheduled match.

Hot tag brings in Bagwell and he’s still Marcus so no one cares. They tried forever to get people to care about him and it didn’t work ever with him as a face. Woman interferes to allow Anderson to knock Bagwell out dead with a DDT. The Figure Four goes on and Bagwell gets beaten by the rare pin in the submission.

Rating: D. Not an entertaining match at all. It was ok but with all of the distractions going on in it, there’s only so much you can get out of it. The papers and then cutting away from it for about a minute took way too much out of it. To be fair to the bad ideas though, the match wasn’t going to be interesting no matter what they tried with it.

Buy this Horsemen t-shirt for $22! This is back in the days of $30 PPVs. That would be the equivalent of about a $35 t-shirt today.

Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael vs. Lex Luger

No Sting for Luger to tag with. Benoit start with Luger and I guess they’re still going with the idea of the other Horsemen being upset about not being in WarGames. There’s the snap suplex. You know for a guy that went through WarGames last night and passed out from the pain of a double submission, Luger looks pretty good. Mongo comes in for his usual boring stuff.

A forearm/elbow gets two for Benoit. We’re told that more or less EVERYONE ON THE ROSTER other than Savage is going to be in Japan next week. Heenan: “QUIT TELLING EVERYONE THAT!” Listen to Brain. He knows his stuff it seems. A double clothesline puts both Benoit and Luger down as we’re waiting on the screwy finish. Luger makes his comeback and Racks Benoit but here are Flair and Anderson for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Another weak match here but it was around to set up what the lack of Sting means for Luger and for just the big beatdown post match. Not a horrible match again, but at the same time they were really just wasting time here until the ending and everyone knew it, which is one of the most boring kind of matches you can have.

During the beatdown, Eric gives us the word that Waltman is officially to be called Syxx.

Outside the NWO is watching Nitro in a limo. They hear that no one will be here but Savage next week, so they’ll beat him up. Thanks Eric.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling was terribly boring here but they have like six weeks before Halloween Havoc so they have plenty of time left. Not the worst show ever but it was really more about transitioning things, including the start of the REALLY big part of the NWO angle, which is saying a lot. Sting’s speech is huge and the rest is just there.

 

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Worst Match Ever

Thoughts on this?

My pick:Uncensored 1996 main event: Doomsday Cage Match.  This was the biggest mess you’ll ever see in wrestling.  There were three cages on top of a ring and the rules were mentioned like halfway into the match.  The pins didn’t matter, no one stayed in the ring, AND YOU COULDN”T SEE ANYTHING!  Just a huge mess and worth looking at so you can say “wow, this really happened.”

 

Your picks?




History of Summerslam Count-Up: 1996 – Mick Foley Has Arrived

Summerslam 1996
Date: August 18, 1996
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Mr. Perfect, Jim Ross, Vince McMahon

Well it’s certainly a new era in the WWF. For one thing, Shawn is the undisputed biggest star in the company right now. Bret is on hiatus, and a loud mouthed guy from Texas is flipping people off and cursing a lot. It’s like there’s a growing Attitude or something going on. Eh nothing will ever come of that. I remember this show really well but actually have never seen the main event all the way through.

When I was watching the show live I taped it and for some reason never watched the main event. I guess the tape messed up or something like that, but I’ve never seen all of it so this will be virgin territory for me. This is the night of the first Boiler Room Brawl which is by far and away the most famous match on the show. I have fond memories of this show, so let’s see if they’re justified.

Dark Match: Yokozuna vs. Steve Austin

Austin won the KOTR earlier this year and with his post match promo, instantly became one of the hottest things on the planet. Yoko weight 660 here and would be gone pretty soon. It really is sad to see someone that had undeniable talent reduced to this, simply based on the fact that he couldn’t control his weight. This is a very short match, maybe three minutes or so.

Austin tries to knock him down and can’t, Yoko takes over and goes to the corner, and then in one of the most infamous botches ever, the ring ropes break and Austin just pins him. I’ve never heard anyone say that was planned and based off the announcers’ reactions, it wasn’t planned. Yoko was clearly surprised when that happened, so I’d guess that was all unplanned. Like I said, Austin just kind of rolled him up for the pin afterwards.

Rating: C. This is very hard to grade so we’ll call it average I guess. N/A would probably be a much better grade actually. It’s way too short to tell if it’s good or bad, but it wasn’t terrible and it was on free TV, so how can I complain about bonus not awful wrestling?

We get a very well done intro talking about monsters that wear masks and the heroes that fight them. That’s a really cool idea as both heels wear masks which is a nice connection to make. This was one of the better packages I’ve seen in a long time.

Savio Vega vs. Owen Hart

No real point to this match other than to have a fast opener which there’s nothing wrong with. Apparently both are good with martial arts. I think I missed that memo. Owen has a cast on his hand from an injury that I don’t remember happening. He’s doing the Orton thing as he’s been hurt forever apparently. Cornette isn’t there as he’s with Vader for the main event instead. Savio keeps going for the arm which is very basic yet quite intelligent strategy.

Ross wants to know how Owen passed a pre match physical. Are we supposed to believe that when matches are made on the fly that everyone has pre match physicals? Come on JR give us more credit than that. We go split screen to see Vader warming up for the main event as Vince says that Owen should feel slighted by being ignored by his manager. Why is it that every time someone throws a kick they’re instantly a martial artist?

Anyone else find that to be WAY too broad of a generalization? I certainly do for one. Savio doesn’t seem like much of a martial artist to me and neither does Owen, not in the slightest really. Vince continues to stir the pot saying that Stu isn’t as proud of Owen as of Bret. With talk like that, it’s no wonder he was almost a career heel. Owen has an armbar on Vega for a decent while and he bites Owen to escape. That’s either cool or just freaking stupid and I’m not sure which it is actually.

Clarence Mason, who is the lawyer for Cornette, starts walking towards ringside but no one is sure why. It turns out that he’s more or less staging a coup of Camp Cornette, but that was a bit off in the future. He was worthless to say the least. I’m pleasantly surprised with this match. It’s not mind blowing but it’s certainly not bad at all. I’d even go so far as to say it’s good.

A long match with faster guys is usually an excellent combination. It has one of the critical points that I think makes matches great: I’m not sure who is going to win. That uncertainly factor can work wonders for matches as it gives you a reason to want to see the ending. That’s what makes a match successful or any entertainment for that matter: you want to keep watching it because you’re not sure what’s coming.

They do a belly to back off the top but Savio’s head slams against the cast. Owen plays possum and slams the cast into Vega’s head before putting the Sharpshooter on him. Clarence comes in to celebrate but Owen isn’t sure why he’s there. Not a fan of the ending but this was a good match. On the replay you can see that the referee would have obviously seen the cast shot.

Rating: B+. Like I said I’m not a fan of the ending, but this was a very solid match in my eyes. It was up tempo, there was some storytelling in there, and I wasn’t positive who was going to win. It was a good way to set the tempo for the show and it’s given me high hopes. Based on this match alone, this show is better than last year’s.

Bradshaw comes out and beats up Savio with whom he was feuding with at the tiem in a decent but completely forgotten feud.

Todd goes into the boiler room to talk to Mankind, who says Taker shouldn’t come in here and that he’s ready for battle.

Tag Titles: Smoking Guns vs. New Rockers vs. Godwins vs. Bodydonnas

Again I ask, is it really that hard to get the tag titles on the show? New Rockers are Al Snow and Marty Jannetty, but Snow is known as Leif Cassidy at the time. This has elimination rules which automatically makes it better as it more or less gives you three matches for the price of one. Skip has a neck brace for no apparent reason. Dang the copyright for getting rid of Don’t Go Messin With A Country Boy. JR is given the task of explaining the tag title scene this year. Good luck good sir. You’ll be needing it.

Sunny as a cowgirl is incredibly attractive to say the least. Billy shouts about something unintelligible. She should have been one of the biggest names ever. Not just because of her looks either as she just had a great presence about her. You could see she just knew what to do in front of a camera. That’s a talent that no amount of looks can buy you. Yep, the champions are heels here, I guess along with the Bodydonnas and maybe the Rockers.

This is starting off very slow as would be expected until get the comedy idea of having the Guns fight each other. This lasts about 8 seconds as Zip comes in. He gets tripped and pinned very fast as I think Skip’s neck injury was legit. It seemed way too convenient and pointless to have them out there and eliminated so fast, so I’m assuming his neck really was hurt. I think they were faces or at least tweeners actually, which surprises me. Rockers take over on Hank.

This doesn’t last long as Hank realizes he’s fighting the freaking New Rockers and beats them up with relative ease, pinning one of them after the Slop Drop, bringing it down to the Guns vs. the Godwins. Due to the rules being the way they are, any way this ends means the titles can change hands. Not sure if that makes sense but it’s mid 90s WWF stuff so I’m just going to go with it. Billy just will not shut up and I’m sick of it already.

They beat on Henry for a long time until Billy being the brains of the team sets for a corner splash but screams first, leading to him getting caught. This allows for the lukewarm tag that no one could care less about. Apparently Bill Clinton is turning 50 today.

Hillbilly Jim goes after Sunny which allows for the double team to end the match and the Guns keep the titles. Afterwards Sunny talks about how great she is and offers a gift to the arena unveiling a massive poster of herself, which I’m certainly not complaining about.

Rating: B-. Eh, it was a pretty bland four team match but it let the Guns keep the belts with relative ease and it filled in some time on the card. It wasn’t particularly good, but it certainly did the job it was supposed to: title defense that took up some time and made the champions look good. That’s as good as it can get I guess.

British Bulldog vs. Sid

Not entirely sure why they’re fighting but I think Sid is feuding with all of Camp Cornette at this point. No Cornette with him though as Jim is with Vader. Sid says his usual insane stuff that goes nowhere at all. Again, why was he so freaking popular? Vince thinks Psycho Sid is crazy. Nice one there Vinny Mac.

Vince thinks fans are the same all over the world. Does he sleep through the Canadian shows? After Ross says don’t expect a lot of technical stuff from Sid he breaks out a headlock takeover and various suplexes, the last of which is countered into Davey’s suplex. Clarence Mason comes down to be pointless. Yes we have two big power guys here, laying on the mat with headlocks. I give up.

We see Vader warming up in the back with Cornette. They get it right here for the most part though by showing this while Sid is out on the floor rather than in the middle of action. Powerslam to Sid but Cornette comes out to yell at Mason. A second powerslam is blocked into a chokeslam and powerbomb by Sid to end it.

Rating: D. Boring match that did nothing at all but further the horrible Cornette vs. Mason feud for control over his stable. Once Mason took over the stable died completely. This was just a quick match that had nothing at all going for it and no one cared at all, or at least I didn’t.

Quick video on Shawn.

Goldust vs. Marc Mero

This is stemming from Goldust hitting on Sable a lot in the past few weeks. At least there’s a reason for them to fight. That’s a nice lesson that the writers today need to learn: it’s very possible to have a decent feud with even the most basic of stories. Running in to beat on someone isn’t really a storyline. That’s the common issue that starts “feuds” anymore and that just doesn’t get it done most of the time. Mero says that he’s going to win.

Goldust has been calling Sable mommy or something like that. That was never really explained which I think is the best move. Vince says that Mero and Sable are special people. I’m guessing it means he slept with Sable. JR hints at something called the Wild Thing. It’ll end the match. Naturally in a Goldust match it starts with random stuff from him that inspired the character that is known as KB. I’ve always found Mero to be overrated but he’s doing pretty well here.

Who would have thought that Goldust would still be active 13 years later? Ahmed Johnson, the IC Champion, is out with an injury and they’re not sure what’s going to be done about the belt. It’s vacated very soon if I remember correctly. Correction it was vacated earlier in the week. Mero would win it in a tournament in about a month or so. Goldust takes over for awhile until Mero is beaten down pretty badly.

Mankind comes out for no apparent reason as he and Goldust were working together for no apparent reason. Mero goes into the corner and comes off with a….well he jumped off and…it was kind of like….well he just jumped backwards and hit Goldust. This was of course very risky since it was from Mero. We’re told that Pillman is interviewing Sid on the Superstar line. Have to love that they’ve gotten over Sid nearly killing him in the War Games match in the early 90s.

The fans and commentators are just bored out of their mind but the classic ten punches in the corner gets them going a bit. Mero finally gets in the air a bit and wakes the people up somewhat. After beating Goldust up, they completely screw this up as Mero debuts the Wild Thing, more commonly known as a Shooting Star Press. Now, Mero just debuted a new big move that was clearly a finisher. So the logical thing would be to have him get the pin with it right?

Apparently not as Marlena is on the ropes for all of 5 seconds, which added to the two count is enough for Goldust to kick out. Yeah, that’s great. Let Goldust just kick out of it. If you’re going to do that, have the two count and THEN Marlena up on the apron so the count stops and Mero goes after her. Just don’t kill the move’s credibility that quickly.

They show the double screen of Mero doing and talk about how great it was. Goldust hits the Curtain Call for the pin. I just don’t get that. What’s the point of debuting a huge move like that and have him lose? Goldust tries to kiss Sable but Mero beats him up pretty well for it.

Rating: C+. This just has me shaking my head. It made the Wild Thing look weak here to have Goldust simply kick out of it, as well as just have Goldust beat him clean maybe 90 seconds after it. The wrestling was fine, but I do not get what the point was of the Wild Thing.

Sunny and Farrooq come out, as Sunny’s stable now consists of two cowboys and a black supremacist/gladiator. Does that sound like the beginning of a bad joke to anyone else? Two cowboys, a gladiator and a gold digging woman? Either a bad joke or a cheap B movie. His blue helmet just looks so stupid.

He’s out there yelling about not being the IC Champion. To make even more sense, he lost the tournament in the finals to Mero of all people. Simmons desperately needs to get in the Nation of Domination. Sunny says she gets what she wants and she wants the IC Title. Does that mean she’s going to be in the tournament?

We see a recap of Lawler vs. Jake Roberts. Now this was a very interesting and intense albeit short feud. The idea is simple: Roberts is a recovering alcoholic and Lawler is making fun of him for it, even having a big bottle of alcohol in the corner with him for the matches and offering Jake a drink. Lawler, as a heel, has a huge fear of snakes. Some of the this is actually really disturbing as Jake has a bad issue with alcohol, which means I don’t think it should be used as an angle.

Before the match, we’re introduced to the World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry. Oh dear. He comes out to Luger’s music of all things so you know this is going to be bad. He can’t even get the headset on right to do commentary. For a guy like Vince that is obsessed with musclemen, this is just a big orgasm, complete with pyro for Henry.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

He’s been on commentary 10 seconds and I’m already annoyed with him. Lawler has a bag of his own but we don’t see what’s inside yet. He’s also rocking a Baltimore Ravens jersey, which is considered cheap heat but to me that’s just pure awesomeness. For an Indians fan like me, this is just fun. Sandy Alomar is there and he says he’s left tickets for the Modells. He brings Jake’s partners, the Jim Beam twins.

He insults Jake’s wife as Henry is cracking up at the jokes, despite being a face. They point out that Henry was injured in the Olympics, as Lawler says that he’s dumb enough to bronze a gold medal. Henry is just awful on commentary. His comebacks are that of a 6th grader. Lawler is just doing one liners here as is his trademark. I never realized how tall Jake is but he’s about 6’5 which is taller than Orton and HHH.

Harvey Whippleman is the referee so Lawler is the most normal person in the ring. Lawler shows what’s in his bag: a massive bottle of alcohol. Henry shows that he’s a long term heel, saying that he’s afraid of snakes. Roberts wraps Revelations, the big yellow snake, around the King. Wouldn’t that be a foreign object? Ross sounds like he’s giving moral support to Henry which is just stupid sounding. After about 7 minutes of stalling, they finally make contact.

However in this case, I’m ok with the stalling as it makes sense here. Vince talks about how Jake is a veteran. I’d think Lawler has more experience actually. Lawler steals a soda from the floor and throws it at Jake. Henry of course is concerned about the fan’s drinking tonight. My goodness he’s terrible at this. Ross suggests that Henry learn the DDT. Yeah that’s a big negative. Lawler hits Roberts in the throat with a bottle to pin him with the tights.

The ironic part of Perfect being on commentary was that he was a huge alcoholic too. After the match, Lawler pours whiskey down Jake’s throat. He gets another bottle to do the same, but Henry, the face, stops him. This got really quite intense, but it was better in ROH when Raven did it to Punk, with Dreamer’s help.

Rating: C-. This was all about the angle and not about the match at all. The match itself would probably be an F, but the angle is very solid. It’s a real life angle that can actually work out. The sad part was how Roberts fell apart with alcohol and drugs in the future as has been well documented.

Backlund is campaigning to be President.

Recap of Taker vs. Mankind. Nothing here that needs explaining.

Boiler Room Brawl: Mankind vs. Undertaker

The way you win here is to come to the ring and claim the urn from Paul Bearer, who will be standing in the ring for the whole match. This is an odd match as Taker comes into the boiler room and immediately stats looking for Mankind. The big problem at first is you can’t see anything. The lighting is terrible and it’s a lot of lurking in the shadows and stuff, which is fine but not for a wrestling match.

Everything is way too dark to really get anything going. The commentators are talking about how Mankind could be anywhere. Now we get to the weird part: as soon as Mankind sneaks up on Taker and beats him up, we lose commentary. It’s not like the audio dies, but they just stop talking. It’s really weird to have a match like this with no audio at all other than the wrestlers themselves and whatever sounds they make while beating on things.

As for the match itself, it’s mainly the two of them hitting each other with random objects, which is fine as it’s just a big brawl in an odd place but the chemistry they have is perfect with each other, making this very fun. We get random things from the announcers, but it’s like a word between all three of them a minute. I’m assuming there’s closed circuit or something in the arena. The video goes out momentarily too but Vince says they’re sorry for it. Ah there it is.

This is mainly just weapons use, which is ok but can only go on for so long. Mankind launches some steam at Taker, which may or may not have been scalding. The crowd pops huge for Taker getting a pipe to the balls for some reason. This is really starting to show how important commentary is to a match as it would help a lot here. Running knee to the area near Taker’s head into a steel door would hurt horribly I think, if nothing else it would hurt Mankind’s knee.

Taker is getting his head handed to him like never before, which seems to happen in every match he competes in against a big time heel. Mankind’s incoherent babbling is a very nice touch. More technical difficulties as I’m pretty sure the fans are watching on closed circuit as they boo the heck out of it. This is the longest its been out for, although we pop in long enough to see Taker being slammed. We’re back now and Mankind has a ladder.

When I say ladder, I mean an old wooden one, not the kind in ladder matches. Here’s where we get the most seen spot of this match, with Taker pulling Mankind off the ladder and him falling onto a bunch of pipes and pieces of metal and wood. Oh, apparently it was a big box. As Taker goes for the door, a thought occurs to me: when Taker was looking around for Mankind just after coming in, why didn’t he just turn around and leave?

The rules just said once they were both in the first to get to the urn in the ring wins, so why not just turn and run? Probably because it wouldn’t be much of a match if that’s what they did I suppose. Big shot with a fire extinguisher which is always cool. They get through the door which is good as this match was in bad need of a change of venue. Mankind does something very smart and barricades the door. That’s actually a brilliant move when you think about it.

The dumb part comes when he stands there to help barricade it. Isn’t the point of blocking the door to be able to run from it? It’s weird seeing wrestlers standing in the hallway as these two fight. Mankind throws hot coffee on Taker, which could be fake I suppose. After about 20 minutes they’re in the arena. The good part is that it doesn’t feel like this has been going that long, which to me says it hasn’t been boring.

Ah good we have TV monitors there to show the people what was going on during the earlier part of the match. That’s nice of them. They fight even more trying to get into the ring. This is a great touch as it’s just more brawling and I like that after this long there’s no real leader. In a sick looking spot, both are on the apron and Taker slings the ropes back and Mankind slams down on the concrete. Taker gets in the ring and takes the knee, but Bearer won’t give him the urn.

Mankind takes him out with the claw as Bearer is laughing. He slaps Taker as JR screams to stop that. Taker crawls to Paul, reaching up for the urn. Bearer slams him in the head with it and hands Mankind the urn for the win. This was huge at the time as Taker had always had Paul Bearer with him. As they leave, Bearer says he’s Paul Bearer and you’re not. Well I’m glad he can say his own name. Maybe next he’ll know his phone number.

We get a single gong which I thought was a mistake but the lights go out and druids start singing. They head to the ring I guess to help Taker. What was it like when they got to the arena? I’m trying to imagine them asking where their dressing room is. The druids carry him out in more darkness.

Naturally, he’d be back soon but feuding with Vader over the WWF Title #1 contender spot, eventually taking the belt at Mania. This would in turn lead to what was likely the biggest angle of his career, as in less than a year, Bear would mention the name of the man called Kane.

Rating: A-. This was a very good fight. The angle was huge at the end, but I think the brawling in the boiler room went on a bit too long. Coupling that with the lack of commentary and it’s just below a classic. This at the time was one of the most brutal matches ever, but what they would do in the summer of 98 blew this so far out of the water it’s unreal. Still, this was great.

In Your House promo.

Vader and Cornette, who is still a bigger name than Mark Madden as he’s on Summerslam here cutting a promo just before the main event, say that they’re going to beat up Shawn and take the title.

WWF Title: Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Vader had been built up as unstoppable all year and had pinned Shawn the previous month in a 6 man tag. The opening/formula is exactly what you would expect: Shawn starts off hot by throwing all kinds of high risk stuff and punches at Vader and they work for a long while. However, soon Vader takes over after landing a power bomb on the floor. Granted that’s the same move that nearly killed Mick Foley, but we can let that slide I suppose.

Shawn is just getting the tar beaten out of him here so he’s following the Bret Hart formula of start hot, look good getting beaten up, and then make your comeback. Shawn has some mini comebacks and Vader counters with a thumb to the eye. There’s something funny about that to me. Perfect drops the term go home, which means to end the match. That doesn’t happen at the moment of course though as that would just suck for a main event.

Shawn skins the cat which to me is one of the most athletic moves you can do along with the nip up. He gets caught though and Vader just throws him which is a cool looking move. Perfect just hates Shawn to say the least. Shawn keeps trying to come back with punches and clotheslines but they just don’t work. In an odd spot, he slides down to try a sunset flip but Vader puts his foot on Shawn’s chest. Shouldn’t that be a pin since Shawn’s shoulders are down?

He finally takes Vader down with a big clothesline. I think Shawn botches a move as he has Vader down to the elbow but he pulls up and just kind of lands next to Vader on his feet. I think he was trying to make it look like a big stomp but it just missed totally. I wonder why it wasn’t the elbow at that moment. They go to the floor and brawl again, but this time Vader picks up Shawn and drops him over the railing chest/ribs first.

Vader slides into the ring for the count out win. Wait, what the heck? Yes, Vader wins by count out that quick. The female fan at ringside is SCREAMING at Shawn to get up as apparently Becca has made her way to Cleveland. Cornette is ticked off and shouts into the mic that it’s not over yet and demands to keep going. Shawn is called a coward and agrees to keep going of course. Vader beats the tar out of Shawn but a powerbomb is countered by a bunch of punches.

Shawn finally gets the elbow but Cornette throws in the racket. Shawn catches it and beats the heck out of Vader, which is merely Shawn returning the favor for Cornette beating on Shawn earlier in the match. Vader wins by DQ. And so ends Summerslam…again with Shawn leaving to fight another day. Apparently it doesn’t though as Cornette is talking (stop the presses!) again.

Shawn of course accepts one more restart and they’re at it again. Shawn is killing him to start but gets caught. In between the ref goes down and there’s no one to count the pin. Also, Vader gets up from SCM. They set for the Vader Bomb but Shawn moves as the big man goes for the moonsault. He hits a moonsault from the top of his own onto Vader to get the pin. Perfect is ticked off and leaves the announce booth. He comes back all of three seconds later. Shawn poses us out to end the show.

Rating: A-. This was another very good match, but the triple ending just kind of left me scratching my head. It would have been fine had they just done a standard match by giving Vader a ton of time to beat on Shawn, ending with the moonsault to win in. Either way, this was a fine version of David vs. Goliath with Shawn looking like the giant killer at the end of it all to send the fans home happy.

Overall Rating: A. This show was AWESOME. It was the polar opposite of that excuse for a show we had last year. Every match is at least good with some solid angles, brutal matches and good technical stuff. I really liked what I saw here tonight and yes, this certainly lvies up to the hype. It’s certainly in the running for best Summerslam to date and perhaps best ever, but at the moment I’ll have to go with 92 just ahead of it. Still, excellent show and a big recommendation.




Fall Brawl 1996 – And So It Begins

Fall Brawl 1996
Date: September 15, 1996
Location: Lawrence Joel Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Winston Salem, North Carolina
Attendance: 11,300
Commentators: Dusty Rhodes, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

WOW that’s a long name for a place to hold a show. This show is about two things: War Games and Sting. Six days before this, Sting had been announced as being in Japan for that day so he would NOT be at Nitro. Ok, fine. So later on in the night, Luger went chasing after someone in the NWO and ran into the parking lot where the NWO limo awaited. And out pops Sting. My jaw went through the floor when I saw it as a kid.

It turns out though that it’s a fake Sting and that the real guy really was in Japan. The deal here though is that even though we knew he was in Japan, he looked a lot like the real Sting so the WCW guys believed he had really turned until he told them otherwise. This was stupid from both sides. One: it was established he was in Japan.

If that’s the case, why wouldn’t they believe him? Second, can you blame them for believing it was him at least for awhile? Does NO ONE watch film anymore? So yeah the main event is NWO vs. WCW in War Games and neither team knows who the fourth guy for their team is, which makes things a bit odd but whatever. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about the war between the two organizations. Oh and Giant has joined since the last show. Other than that it’s just about the chaos the NWO has been going off about in the last few months. We see the video from Sting “turning” and Eric FREAKING is great. We also see them destroying a car last night with their bats. Why were they never arrested?

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Chavo Guerrero

Well this is an odd pairing. DDP is a heel still and is feuding with both Guerreros at this point. Chavo is almost brand new here having been in the company like five months and is TINY here. He hit the gym over the years and filled out a lot which is good for him as he looks pretty pathetic here. There are two rings here and they’re in the left one.

Chavo goes off on him early on the floor and whips him with a belt that I have no idea where he got. Apparently Eddie won the Battlebowl ring at Clash of the Champions from DDP so at least they’ve set this match up. This is a real contrast of styles as Chavo is young and fast and DDP is really bad at this point still. He’s pretty much the prime example of a guy that started off as horrible and just clawed his way up to being a quite good wrestler that was popular as well.

He kind of had a gimmick change but it was really more that he turned face and got confidence. He hits a top rope clothesline to really take over as Dusty is having way too much fun here. DDP hooks a nice little rolling move as he’s improving at this point. To be fair though he was horrible before this so an improvement is hard to avoid. He had some flashes of good stuff though and you could see it here.

Not that we’ve been told this or anything as it’s all about the main event here even though we’ve already bought the PPV in theory so it’s not like it needs to be hyped or anything. In a nice move (again) he sets for a belly to back suplex but just spins him over so he lands face first. That was very nice. Chavo makes his comeback with really basic stuff and some jumping stuff but again he’s a relative rookie here so there we are.

He kind of messes up a hurricanrana but it wasn’t terrible I guess. And now we’re in the other ring and Tony actually asks if this could be a count out. That’s….actually an interesting question as they’re in a different ring but they’re still in a ring. The fans are rising up for rollups. That’s a good sign and then they cheer loudly for a Helicopter Bomb by DDP for two. In a creative ending, DDP stomps on Chavo’s foot and gets the Diamond Cutter to a NICE face pop. His turn was coming very soon.

Rating: C+. Nothing too special here but not bad at all. DDP was getting better and better every time he had a big match and this was one of them. He still wasn’t that good, but you could see a lot of promise in him. He had the good music and the great finisher so he was well on his way. Once he turned face though, it was all awesome as his feud with Savage was one of the highlights of WCW. We’ll get to that soon enough.

SPECIAL REPORT

Gene talks about the NWO and what they’ve done. Uh, why are we seeing this now? Why would we need to see this if we’ve bought the show already? Couldn’t there be a match in this time or something? It’s a GREAT video that explains the first few months of the angle perfectly, but why are we watching this now?

Ice Train vs. Scott Norton

This is a submission match. Again I have to ask WHY? Is there anyone that thinks we need to see two matches between these guys? I was a semi-mark for Ice Train though so I’m not completely furious. Teddy Long of all people is managing Ice Train. Has this guy ever not been on a roster somewhere? He’s FAT looking here which is just bizarre considering what he looks like now. Train works on the arm which makes sense at least.

Now he uses…let’s call it a chinlock and be nice. Tony points out that Norton is using the same move that another guy uses for a finisher which might be bad but I’m not sure. They need to pick a freaking body part and STICK WITH IT. Norton has worked the arm, the back and the neck and now the arm again. Teddy comes in and distracts and a full nelson ends Norton. At least it wasn’t that long.

Rating: F+. Seriously, THIS gets 7 minutes of PPV time? Why? Who thought this was a good use of PPV time? Having them do one match at Hog Wild at least made sense, but did we really need to see these two in a gimmick match, especially THIS gimmick? I don’t think so.

Mexican Heavyweight Title: Konnan vs. Juventud Guerrera

Ok a lot to talk about here. For one thing, the Mexican Heavyweight Title is the AAA Americas’ Title, a title that was a midcard title that Konnan was the first to win. He won it then bailed to WCW with it so they just didn’t talk about it any more. He’s also a heel now with the whole street thing going on and has joined the Dungeon of Doom so he has Jimmy Hart with him. As for Juvy, he’s brand new here, having been around about three weeks.

There was also an internet rumor that he was actually Sean Waltman under the mask which is about as bizarre of a story as I’ve ever heard of. He trips over the steps during his intro in a funny thing, so maybe there was a reason for that story after all. Oh yeah we actually have a match to do now. Konnan is now described as a big man. That’s just odd to hear. In a painful looking spot, Konnan picks him up and just drops him over the top to the floor.

Juvy goes to the other ring and hits a QUADRUPLE jump leg lariat to take over. Take that Sabu. This is back when Konnan was motivated and therefore was actually interesting to watch as well as entertaining. The commentary just stops for like 30 seconds. That was strange. I’m watching a WCW show where there is decent wrestling going on.

Never mind on that strange comment. Juvy is flying all over the place here and it’s surprisingly working for me. Tenay calls the rope the top strand. Ok then. They botch the heck out of a moonsault press. I’d put that on Konnan though as it looked fine but Konnan didn’t sell it at all. He hits a great powerbomb to make up for it I guess. There’s a good deal of sloppiness here but for the most part it’s working.

In a STUPID move, Juvy has him set for a top rope rana and instead just backflips off the top. Konnan hits a dropkick immediately as he lands which Juvy freaking deserves. Dang that looked stupid. The masked dude hits a springboard spinwheel kick which is one of my favorite moves. 450 hits for two. A corkscrew splash gets two as for some reason the crowd is dead all of a sudden. Konnan hits what we would call a Musclebuster for two and then a super powerbomb from the top for the pin.

Rating: B-. This gets a much better grade if not for the sloppiness. I thought it worked quite well though for what they were trying to do. This was another example of WCW throwing some people out there and seeing what they could do. On that level I would say it definitely worked. Again though, the constant botches were hurting it. There was some good stuff though so I’d say it was good.

Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Yeah this works. Again you can see the solid lower and midcard guys having the best matches and then the main event stuff being pure drama that was epic. With this kind of combination, there was no chance for any other company to touch WCW. The announcers imply that Benoit could be the fourth WCW guy in case Sting has jumped.

Benoit uses the Liontamer (as in the more painful looking one) before Jericho adopted it which is very weird looking. Dusty thinks there could have been 20 men in that limo with Sting, somehow managing to rival the in ring match for entertainment value. It’s so weird seeing a motivated Jericho in WCW. He goes for a springboard move but lands BACK FIRST on the apron on the way down. Freaking OW.

You can see the star in Jericho begging to be let out. Sadly it would never happen in this company. Bobby says you can hear those chops in Vietnam. What’s in that cup he’s drinking? According to Joey Styles it was vodka so there we go. Benoit is a Horseman here so he’s incredibly popular as we’re in Horsemen country, which is always odd to me since they were the top heels in that area for the most time.

This is Jericho’s PPV debut so he’s brand new as well. Let the chopping begin! Heenan is a bit tipsy already I think. The headbutt hits but it’s more like a splash, which works just fine too. That’s a perk of having a move such as that as if it’s botched like that it still looks fine. Apparently he was going 65-70 miles an hour too. I love WCW commentary at times.

And of course we get a line about the Shell Answer Man which Tony of course tries to explain, going from entertaining to ARE YOU KIDDING ME mode in seconds. Jericho goes Canadian as Heenan makes the Shell joke again. Tombstone hits Benoit but the Lionsault doesn’t. Dusty makes the comment that Jericho would be a big star in WCW.

That’s one for two I guess, but he had an eye for talent at least. He also says Benoit is the best pound for pound athlete in WCW but forget the pound for pound aspect. Benoit hits a belly to back off the top to knock Jericho the heck out for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a very physical match that told a good story: Jericho is the rookie that has nothing at all to lose and Benoit is the hot young guy that is looking to make a statement. These two should have headlined a bunch of PPVs, but alas we got Hogan vs. Savage about a million times instead.

Both of these two wound up main eventing Wrestlemania though so I think they had what it took, despite the old guys saying otherwise. Anyway, this was a very good match, but seriously, did you expect anything else?

Cruiserweight Title: Super Calo vs. Rey Mysterio

Thankfully Tenay is here for this but his mic doesn’t work. That leaves Heenan and Dusty to make their bad jokes about nothing in particular. Calo always looked kind of fat to me for some reason. He’s listed at 200lbs but I have some issue with that. He has a backwards hat on but I think the sunglasses are painted on his mask. So he’s the Blue Meanie? Some idiot chants boring a minute into the match.

Apparently his name comes from a big rap group in Mexico. Ok then. Rey is more or less the king of the hurricanrana so that’s the majority of his offense. He does the 619 but it’s more or less a taunting thing at this point. Calo hits a slingshot powerbomb which is a cool looking move. Calo hits an overhead senton to the floor onto Rey who is down. FREAKING OW! Calo is dominating here which isn’t expected by either myself or Rey.

Someone must have slipped Heenan some coffee as he’s far more coherent all of a sudden. We hear about some Lucha de Apuestas matches which is a new one on me in WCW (meaning I’ve never heard them talked about, not that I don’t know what they are). Rey finally comes back but Calo hits a dropkick to block his springboard something. It’s been probably 90-10 Calo here as he’s dominated.

Rey hits an INSANE rana with like 4 different bounces and springboards in it. This is why Rey used to be my favorite wrestler. Rey gets a springboard sunset flip for two as Bobby keeps trying to talk about the NWO and is actually ignored for the most part. That’s a different one also. Finally Rey hits a double springboard into the West Coast Pop for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was good but it went on WAY too long. This gets three minutes cut out and it’s way better. Calo was never really much of anything, but he’s another example of a guy that got a chance in WCW and since he was brand new to the American audience, he was considered cool because he wasn’t like what was being seen.

That’s the brilliance of Bischoff in the day: throw so much at them so fast they can’t tell if it’s good or bad. The ending was well thought out though so it worked. There’s your difference between Bischoff and Russo.

Tag Titles: Harlem Heat vs. Nasty Boys

Heat have the belts here. So we go from Benoit, Jericho and Mysterio to this. Ok then. We get clubbering as Dusty LOSES it. That was kind of funny. I had to do this match about 5 times in 94 and 95 so I really don’t care that much about it here. Double teaming allows the champions to take over. Knobbs and Stevie run the ropes and it’s painful to see. Knobbs is so out of shape it’s pathetic.

And let’s get a chinlock now because this match is so riveting otherwise. Also throughout the match Sherri and Colonel Parker keep interfering to get on my nerves. I’m just killing time here until we get to the next two matches as they’re the “meat” of the show with War Games and Savage vs. Giant. Why was Savage not thrown into War Games? They didn’t have a fourth guy and you have Randy Savage in a nothing match with the Giant?

Does this make anything resembling sense? Sags hits a piledriver which has Bobby freaking out over them using a move. That wasn’t a piledriver but whatever. Parker trips Sags up to switch momentum again and I just do not care at all. END THE FREAKING MATCH ALREADY!

It’s been ten minutes so far and it’s all brawling and stuff like that with a ton of interfering from the managers. END THIS. Knobbs gets like the 8th hot tag of the match and I’m barely paying attention at this point since the belts aren’t changing hands. FINALLY a cane shot from Booker to Knobbs ends this idiocy. Move on PLEASE.

Rating: F. Oh just no. Who thought that these guys deserved 15 minutes? This was just boring aand NO ONE cared at all. This was terrible and deserves to fail.

Savage guarantees he’ll beat the Giant and then beat Hogan at Halloween Havoc.

Randy Savage vs. The Giant

Savage is wearing a Nitro T-shirt. Great way to make your #1 contender look like a jobber. Giant still has the Dungeon of Doom music here. Tony and Bobby are just funny as far as the anti-NWO stuff goes. Savage wisely doesn’t let him get in the ring to start us off. And then he goes to the floor to fight. WHY DOES EVERYONE TRY TO SLAM BIG MEN? It’s A BODY SLAM.

It’s hardly some big epic move that’s going to kill someone or explode their kidneys. It’s a freaking body slam. Giant says he’s going to make Savage disappear. Is he a magician all of a sudden? Giant hooks a back breaker hold as all of the fans are looking at something more interesting. Even the announcers point it out. And now it’s a Boston Crab. Yes, a guy the size of the Giant is using Rick Martel’s hold.

Can we just get to War Games now? Savage actually slams him in the only power display I’ve ever seen from him. He hits the elbow and doesn’t cover to allow the storyline to go forward. And here’s Hogan who he chases after. Yep, Hall distracts him and Nash pops him with a chair. Beatdown commences, Nick Patrick sees nothing of course, and Giant gets a simple pin.

Rating: D. This was short and bad. At least it wasn’t that long and now we’re down to War Games so I can’t complain. This somehow was supposed to build up to Halloween Havoc but whatever. At least this wasn’t that long and now I’m repeating myself out of boredom. Considering how awesome the first hour and 45 minutes or so went, the last half hour has been AWFUL.

The cage is lowered. This is always cool.

Flair, Anderson and Luger say their usual stuff. Flair is asked who will be the fourth man but doesn’t say a name. He almost implies there won’t be a fourth. Anderson starts talking a bit, but here’s Sting. He says it wasn’t him and Luger says he looked him right in the eyes and knows it was him. Maybe he should have gotten his eyes checked. Sting says he’ll see Luger in awhile. Other than a promo the next night on Nitro, he wouldn’t speak again until January 98.

Before we get going, here are the rules. It’s 4 on 4 (although we don’t know who the fourth guy is for either team as Sting has apparently been thrown out). They both send in a man in each to begin for five minutes. At four minutes in there’s a coin toss (the heels literally never lost) to determine control.

After the first five minute period ends, the team that won the toss sends in its second man and they have a 2-1 advantage. This lasts two minutes and after that two minutes the losing team sends in its second man making it 2-2. They alternate for two minute periods until all 8 are in and then it’s first submission (no pins) wins.

War Games: Team NWO vs. Team WCW

So far it’s Hogan, Hall and Nash vs. Flair, Anderson and Luger. You know there’s a huge angle coming when Hogan, Hall, Nash and Giant vs. Flair, Anderson, Luger and Sting isn’t the best they can do. That’s a SICK sounding War Games when you think about it, but that’s not the best they can do. Scott Hall is first for the NWO and he has DiBiase with him. Anderson starts for WCW. That promo from Sting was the first time he had been seen in 6 days.

To be fair, maybe he couldn’t get a flight back from Japan. Maybe I should stop thinking about it so much. We keep hearing about how awesome the Horsemen are in this match. Did they ever win one? Hall beats him up to start. Well that went well. Dusty cheering for Anderson is just wrong on so many levels. Nick Patrick is the referee. Bobby freaks out over who the fourth man is for the NWO and how unfair it is for them not to tell WCW who the fourth man is.

Tony: they don’t know our fourth man either. Arn gets the figure four for like 3 seconds which is just odd. The problem is that Arn vs. Hall really isn’t that interesting of a match. The key thing here is that it looks like an awesome structure and it really is. Patrick threatens to end the match right now much to the announcers’ chagrins. We hit two minutes left. The NWO of course wins the coin toss.

There’s the spinebuster on Hall and then a half crab which Hall taps to. It’s Nash in second and after about 9 seconds Arn goes down to a big boot. Nash hits Snake Eyes, and he was the guy that actually gave it that name when he was Vinny Vegas back in the early 90s. Luger jumps the gun and they realize there’s nothing they can do about it so there we are. He’s wearing black boots which is kind of weird looking.

He beats up both Outsiders for awhile and Arn is back up now. There’s a formula to these matches and to be fair it worked so there was no real need to ever change it. Heenan points out that everyone should just come out here now. WCW dominates as we have 15 seconds left.

Hogan is 3rd so it’s the original three vs. Luger and Anderson. Hogan goes off on Arn which is a match that happened a lot on Nitro in 96 actually. The fans want Flair as Anderson is beating Hogan up. That’s a new one. Hogan drops the leg on Anderson and we’re still waiting on Flair. There he is to an ERUPTION. It’s North Carolina. Did you expect anything else?

Flair stays in the empty ring and calls out Hogan. Dusty then cracks me up to the point where I have to stop the video. “One on one, I don’t know if Hogan can beat Flair.” WOW. I don’t think Flair has ever beaten Hogan, but all of a sudden Hogan can’t beat him. That’s just hilarious. We go split screen when for once we actually should. Flair goes low on everyone and WCW is in control again.

“Sting” is the fourth man in the NWO. This became a running joke as there would be like a million fake Stings over the years, ranging from Chris Harris to guys as tall as Nash and somehow the announcers could never tell. There’s another referee in there now too. The fans, having basic intelligence and passable vision, of course get the idea as they chant WE WANT STING.

Another way to tell is that Sting has always had a very unique striking style. Pop in some Sting tapes and you’ll see what I’m talking about. Oh and Tony offers a pearl of wisdom by saying the one man advantage has been the deciding factor. The clock runs out and it’s the real Sting. His pop is better than Flair’s so take that for what it’s worth. He beats the living crap out of the NWO on his own and stares down Luger.

He leaves, asking if that’s good enough. The NWO destroys them afterwards with Sting putting on a Scorpion and Hogan making sure he gets some credit by throwing on a horrible front facelock for the “submission.” In a scary line, Heenan says that hold could make Luger lose the use of his legs, which of course he has in real life. Luger crawls towards the back, screaming for Sting.

And now he gets beaten up even worse. The Horsemen keep fighting but it’s 4-2 at this point so it doesn’t mean much. Savage runs out and he goes straight for Hogan. Hogan runs and here’s the Giant. The beatdown is on and it’s bad for Savage. Here’s Liz to do….something. She tries to cover up Savage and gets painted with the words 4 Life on her dress. I’m sure there’s a joke there.

The fans think he sucks and he wants a mic. He talks about how they said they would be together until death do them part and he says he’ll make that happen then SPITS ON LIZ. WOW. Yeah he’s eternally punished. Tony says this is the lowest WCW has ever reached. Oh you don’t want to go there dude.

This company had the Ding Dongs for crying out loud. Giant says he’s the best artist in the world. This needs to end. And now the NWO takes over the announce position in the middle of the announcers complaining about life in general. The show ended over ten minutes after the match ended.

Rating: C+. This match is about getting to the ending. The wrestling itself is just boring though. However, it’s War Games, which makes it awesome by association. The match was of course second to the ending but it worked out fine for what it was. This was about setting up Sting and the biggest angle in company history and it certainly worked in that regard. It built to that point so I can’t complain.

Overall Rating: B. Other than the AWFUL tag title match, there isn’t really anything that bad on here. There are a ton of good and entertaining matches in play here and every one of them worked just fine. Also, other than the Savage match and the submission match, everything here is at least thirteen minutes long.

They let the guys go out there and work and it came off very well. This would become the system used for a LONG time in WCW: awesome midcard, terrible main stuff and while it started out awesome, ultimately it ended WCW for reasons we’ll get to later. Overall though, very good show and well worth checking out. Just fast forward the tag title stuff.