Monday Night Raw – August 5, 1995: Sign Me Up For Winterfest

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 5, 1996
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 6,755
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross

We’re coming up on Summerslam and Shawn Michaels is still on high. For some reason, tonight’s main event is a battle royal with the winner getting a title shot AFTER Summerslam, because it’s never too early to start planning ahead. Shawn Michaels has all he can deal with for Summerslam with Vader though. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring to start and he has a bottle wrapped in brown paper to talk about Jake Roberts. He wants Roberts to write a tell all book about his drinking but shifts over to Aldo Montoya, who beat him on Superstars last week. Montoya comes out so Lawler pulls out a bottle of Jim Beam as Roberts’ partner.

Aldo Montoya vs. Jerry Lawler

Lawler grabs the mic and talks during the match, before dropping it to ask if Montoya has anything to say to him. The beating is on in a hurry and Lawler drops him with a suplex. Montoya is back with a bunch of right hands and a hard whip into the corner, followed by a top rope right hand to the head. The DDT (how Montoya won last week) sends Lawler into the corner to grab the referee so Montoya hits a backdrop instead. Lawler is right back with the piledriver though and a second finishes Montoya off. Energetic while it lasted.

Post match Lawler pours the booze into Montoya’s mouth. Lawler: “Hey Jake, don’t get jealous!” Referees break it up but Lawler manages to do it again because referees are horrible at their secondary jobs.

New Rockers vs. Bodydonnas

Hillbilly Jim is on commentary and the Rockers jump the Bodydonnas at the entrance. Zip gets dropped onto the top rope to start but manages a small package for two on Jannetty. Everything breaks down with Jim thinking they have a lot left in them. The match has been on for a minute and a half so I’d hope so.

Jannetty sends Zip into the ropes so Skip makes a blind tag as we go split screen to Skip and Faarooq Asaad. Next week Faarooq debuts against Skip, as Sunny’s new man is going to prove that her old man just doesn’t measure up. Faarooq rants about being a tiger from birth and being a maneater. Dude she’s right next to you. Back to full screen with Zip chopping at Cassidy and cutting off Jannetty despite a second blind tag.

As Jim gets in his fifth “you know what I mean” in about three minutes, we cut to the Godwinns and the Smoking Gunns watching the match. As in we aren’t seeing the match at all at the moment. Back again with Skip hitting a top rope headbutt for two on Marty, who is right back up to throw Skip over the top. Cassidy hits a neckbreaker on the floor and throws Skip back in for the two. It’s off to Cassidy to slug away at Skip as we go split screen AGAIN to look at Jim on commentary.

After fifteen seconds of full screen, we look at Gorilla Monsoon reinstating Crush (not named) after weapons and drug charges. Marty pulls Skip down by the trunks and sends him into the corner as we take a break. Back with Cassidy getting crotched on top so Skip can go up, only to have the Gunns run in for the DQ. Jim asks “WHAT’S GOING ON” about five times in a row.

Rating: D. Not only was the match boring and longer than it needed to be before a bad (though logical) ending, but sweet goodness I’ve never seen a match where the company was so uninterested in watching it. This was designed to set up a four way Tag Team Title match at Summerslam but they need a better way to make me interesting. Really dull match here and the cuts made it worse.

Post match the Godwinns come in as well and clear the ring with the Bodydonnas.

Shawn Michaels has been beaten up lately, including by Vader in a six man tag at In Your House IX. He could lose at any given time but he isn’t losing to Vader at Summerslam. Nothing matters to him as much as being WWF Champion and he’ll do anything to keep it. To take it from him means beating everyone behind him and that isn’t happening. Oh and he’d love Bret Hart being back because it’s like peanut butter without jelly. Uh, peanut butter on its own is quite delightful. Shawn talks about how great he is to wrap it up.

As appropriate as it is, we go to clips of Shawn at a house show. In Montreal.

Battle Royal

Undertaker, Mankind, Sid, British Bulldog, Justin Hawk Bradshaw, Owen Hart, Steve Austin, Goldust, Marc Mero, Savio Vega, Ahmed Johnson

The winner gets a WWF Title shot in two weeks, Ahmed Johnson’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line and he has a bad kidney coming in. Undertaker SPRINTS to the ring to go after Mankind and they’re both eliminated in about ten seconds. They fight to the back, leaving the other nine to fight on the ropes and tease eliminations. Johnson throws Bulldog out as I try to get my head around Austin having writing on his trunks.

Sid backdrops Bradshaw out in an elimination that would mean a lot more a long way down the line. There isn’t much going on in between these eliminations, making it a pretty typical battle royal. Mero throws Owen out and the big fit takes us to a break. Back (after a video of British Bulldog powerslamming Savio Vega thanks to Jim Cornette) with all six still in it and Mero being backdropped out before I can finish a sentence. Savio hits his running spinwheel kick in the corner but eliminates himself by mistake. Nitwit.

Undertaker and Mankind fight through the crowd, back into the ring, and then back into the crowd. Johnson hits a hard clothesline on Goldust but stops to try and get rid of Austin. Goldust breaks that up as this has slowed way down in a hurry. Sid saves himself and then saves Ahmed as Vince plugs Summerslam every chance he can. Goldust is sent to the apron but pulls himself back in, only to walk into a spinebuster.

We see Undertaker and Mankind brawling in the back and take another break. Back again with the same final four and Sid powerbombing Goldust. He does the same to Austin and grabs a reverse chinlock as Goldust hits a Curtain Call on Johnson. The match is so boring that we go to the back to watch previous clips of Undertaker beating up Mankind.

They do throw in some fresh brawling before we come back to see the same four people having the same fight. Cue Owen and Bulldog for a distraction so Austin can eliminate Sid. Goldust stands back as Austin stomps on Johnson before going with the double cross. Austin saves himself from being eliminated and hammers on Goldust until Johnson kicks him in the ribs.

Johnson and Goldust team up (?) to toss Austin and it’s Ahmed slugging away as we’re down to two. A shot to the face puts Johnson down and Goldust drops an elbow on the bad kidney. There’s a piledriver and we take ANOTHER break as this match just can’t end. Back with Ahmed grabbing….a bodyscissors? They get up and collide next to the rope but Ahmed hangs on by the legs to survive and win the title shot.

Rating: D-. Oh sweet goodness no. I’m not sure what they were thinking here as the match ran about twenty four minutes counting commercials and had the final four after about ten minutes. That’s a very strange layout and it’s not like the sections with the final four or three were anything spectacular. I don’t get this one, but dang Ahmed could have been something had he been remotely healthy.

Post match Ahmed says he and Shawn are friends but a match against Vader sounds like a party. Faarooq runs in for the brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Justin Credible and Jerry Lawler just had the match of the night and it didn’t even break three minutes. WCW is just killing them at this point and that is getting very obvious in a hurry. The company is looking like a zombie and this show was horrible, with nothing looking interesting outside of Undertaker vs. Mankind. If this is supposed to make me want to see Summerslam, sign me up for Winterfest.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1996 (2013 Redo): The Texas Two Step

Royal Rumble 1996
Date: January 21, 1996
Location: Selland Arena, Fresno, California
Attendance: 9,600
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

We open with Sunny in a bathtub, saying this show is graphic and view discretion is advised.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ahmed Johnson

Rating: C-. I was always an Ahmed fan so this was an easy pass for me. The image of the Swanton looked great if nothing else, which is more than enough to give this a pass. Jarrett was such a mess at this point and never went anywhere in the WWF. The ending completely sucked though and it really brought things down.

BUY OUR STUFF!

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

The Bodydonnas are Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Prichard with a BIG haircut). They have Sunny with them and my goodness is she smoking (no pun intended) here. The Guns are defending. Skip and Billy start things off with Skip taking over with a headscissors. Just like Ahmed earlier, Billy misses a charge against the ropes and crashes to the outside. Both Gunns get double teamed until Bart ducks out of the way, allowing a charging Billy to dive onto both Donnas on the floor.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Goldust

The yet to be named Marlena debuts with Goldie here. Razor is defending as is his custom. Feeling out process to start with Goldust playing his usual mind games, which means rubbing himself. Razor cranks on the arm before grabbing a headlock which goes nowhere. Goldust goes behind Razor and molests him a bit to psych Razor out even more. They head to the corner with Razor having his head rubbed a bit, ticking him off even more.

Razor goes for the arm so Goldust slaps him in the face. Perfect keeps making sex jokes as Razor slaps Goldust right back in the face. He spanks Goldie once as well, but the painted dude likes it. We head to the floor where Goldust hides behind Marlena as the stalling continues. Back in and Razor tries three straight headscissors before punching Goldust to the floor with a single shot.

We get more stalling which is called playing mind games before Ramon clotheslines him right back to the outside. Razor has to move Marlena out of the way, allowing Goldust to FINALLY do something, taking over with a shot to the ribs. Back in and Goldust focuses on the ribs, but not too much because that might mean we have some speed to this match. A bulldog gets two for Goldust as does a slingshot belly to back suplex.

Rating: D-. Sweet freaking goodness this was dull. It went on WAY too long and had a bad ending on top of that, plus the stupid “psychology” from Goldust which wound up being more unpleasant than interesting or intelligent. Goldust would get WAY better when he became more of a comedy/parody character rather than this freaky dude that he was to start his WWF run. The matches got a lot better as a result too.

Wrestlemania 12 is coming.

Vince and Perfect talk about the Rumble a bit.

Royal Rumble

Vader debuts at #13 and lumbers around while not doing much. He picks Bob Holly of all people to beat on first as Vega eliminates Dory. Vader pulls Savio back in from the apron for no apparent reason other than he wants to beat on him some more. Doug Gilbert from Memphis is #14 and HHH goes right after him for no apparent reason. Vader and Yoko slug it out to a big reaction but Vader has to stop to clothesline Roberts out.

Shawn does his usual overblown self safe as Holly and Austin fight. FINALLY Holly goes out after nearly forty minutes. HHH vs. Austin happens about three years before it would mean anything. Barry Horowitz (with the AWESOME rock version of Hava Nagila) is #25 and he goes after Diesel. Well no one ever accused him of being brilliant. Shawn nips up to knock Owen to the apron, but Hart skins the cat back in. Cool little sequence there.

Smith and Michaels fight to the floor and Owen jumps Shawn for good measure. Shawn shrugs it off and goes in to dropkick Yankem out. Kama and Diesel put out Droese to get us down to four. Shawn clotheslines Smith out before skinning the cat back in. Diesel dumps Kama and Shawn superkicks the tall one (in the shoulder) out to win for the second year in a row.

Diesel is ticked off about the ending and goes back in as Shawn is stripping. They do their old Wolfpack thing in the middle of the ring (a high five where Shawn has to jump) and all is cool. Shawn poses for a long time post match.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

Rating: D+. This started VERY slow but got better for the last ten minutes or so, but the ending brings it right back down again. If this had been a fifteen minute match or so it would have been WAY better, but they only had so many other matches on the card, meaning this had to be longer. Diesel would face Taker at Mania of course.

Gorilla Monsoon makes Diesel vs. Bret for the title at the next PPV.

Shawn says the 90s will be his time.

Cornette says Vader cannot be ignored. He pretty much was until Summerslam.

Ratings Comparison

Ahmed Johnson vs. Jeff Jarrett

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

Original: D

Redo: C-

Goldust vs. Razor Ramon

Original: D

Redo: D-

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Undertaker

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D-

Redo: D

Amazingly enough I liked it a bit better this time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/15/royal-rumble-count-up-1996-shawns-texas-two-step/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1996 (Original): It’s Shawn’s Time

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 1996
Date: January 21, 1996
Location: Selland Arena, Fresno, California
Attendance: 9,600
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

Well it’s a year later and the roster is more or less the same. There are a few changes though. The biggest is Shawn has finally given up and turned face thank goodness and Taker is back in the title hunt. Bret has the title again and is facing him in the main event. Other than that, there’s a few new guys but a lot of this is the same. Nitro has debuted so the war has almost started.

The rest of the card looks similar to what we had last year with all three titles on the line plus the Rumble and one other match, but this just looks miles more interesting for some reason. The Rumble roster still looks weak but far better than it did before. This flat out can’t be less interesting than last year so let’s go.

I almost forgot: Shawn has been out with a ton of injuries including the concussion kick from Owen and tonight is his big return, so that’s easily your biggest story of the night here.

Oh yeah and a guy named Hunter Hearst Helmsley debuted. A bald guy from Texas is here too. They’ll never mean a thing.

There was a preshow match with HHH vs. Duke Droese. The winner got 30 and the loser got #1. Amazingly, HHH lost so there we are.

Sunny is in a bathtub and says that tonight’s show is viewer discretion advised. My goodness she was perfect. Anyway, Bret vs. Taker is previewed, along with a few other matches. There’s a picture of Razor hitting a belly to back suplex off the middle rope on someone. That someone: Jeff Hardy. Oh yeah and there’s that Rumble thing too. Finally, there’s talk of some monster showing up tonight. Some guy called Vader I think.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ahmed Johnson

Ahmed is a relative rookie here, having been around for just a few months here. In other words, this should be a slaughter. This is fallout from Jarrett breaking a gold record over Ahmed’s head at the previous In Your House. I love how I now have seen that match and reviewed it as it ties things together a bit. In case you’ve never seen him, Ahmed is a freaking tank.

He’s more cut up than Ezekiel Jackson and even scarier looking. The only problem was he wasn’t as talented either. He’s killing Jarrett though so there we are. He was supposed to become world champion actually but he couldn’t stay healthy. There have been a ton of clotheslines in this match to say the least. I don’t mean a bunch in a row, but a bunch over a fairly spread out period of time.

Why is it that when something happens it’s unbelievable to Vince? He saw it happen so apparently it’s not too farfetched. Johnson is hulking up. That can’t be a good sign. Jarrett continues to imitate Ric Flair without the success by getting Ahmed in the figure four. You know considering how awesome Ahmed was, this is just really boring.

After powering out of that, Jarrett goes to the top with the guitar and El Kabong is enough for the DQ. Ahmed just stood there and waited to get hit in the head. Jarrett leaves and of course Ahmed is up in about 18 seconds and not even shaking it off. That was odd.

Rating: D+. Uh yeah. I’m not sure what to say about this one as it just wasn’t that good at all. Ahmed wasn’t really sloppy, but he certainly was limited. I’m not entirely sure why they had Jarrett not get pinned here. He really had nothing to lose here as he would be gone less than ten months later. Ahmed was supposed to look great here but he just didn’t, plain and simple. This is more of a headscratcher than anything else.

Buy WWF stuff, t-shirts in this case.

Billy and Bart, looking straight out of the 70s and 80s say they’re going to keep their titles. My goodness they were so painfully bland it’s painful.

Diesel says heelish things despite still being a face officially I guess. He mentions not having a problem with Taker, and we have a feud on the rise.

Tag Titles: Smoking Guns vs. Body Donnas

Sunny was hotter than anything on the planet, period. The Body Donnas are Tom Pritchard and Chris Candido, more commonly known as Chris Candido. Sunny starts off in the ring by saying ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages. Holy stolen ring intro in a few years. Sunny of course gets the biggest pop of everyone. She’s 23 here and was screwing Bret Hart at the time, so there we are.

We get an upskirt shot of Sunny which leaves Perfect speechless. In case you can’t tell, no one cares about the match but only Sunny. She really was excellent at getting all of the attention on her which is very good to be able to do. The Guns are giants compared to the heels. After the Donnas desperately try (and fail) to take over, Sunny is knocked to the floor. The only good thing is a nice back shot but whatever.

Perfect: she could have been hurt! Vince: she may be hurt! Thanks for being original McMahon. Naturally she was faking (don’t you hate when women do that?) and the Donnas get the advantage. Vince calls Zip Flip so there we are: we have found a gimmick so bad that even Vince McMahon can’t remember their stupid names. In a cool spot, Zip hooks his partner in a gutwrench release powerbomb (think Jack Swagger’s move but he just lets the guy go) onto Billy.

That was different as Perfect says. Since this match has been the most intelligent of all time, we have another odd spot as Skip runs into Zip and Zip is knocked into Billy so everyone is down. It leads to the cold tag to Bart who cleans house. Vince says he hits Skip or Zip or whatever his name is. Since it’s 1996, we can’t have a regular ending, so instead the Guns hit the Sidewinder (backbreaker/leg drop from the top) but Sunny distracts the referee.

In a bad looking spot, Billy sees Skip on the top rope clearly, but goes after Sunny instead. It was one of those moments that wasn’t supposed to look bad but accidentally did. The Donnas go for a double suplex but Billy spears one of them so that Bart lands on the other guy for the pin. Yep, that was stupid.

Rating: D. This show really isn’t starting out well at all. This was somehow worse than the previous match. Literally, looking at Sunny is all that this is good for. The match itself is just bad, the booking is weird and the ending leaves something to be desired. The Guns would forfeit the belts in about a month due to injury and the Donnas would get them in a tournament just before Mania, as in about 20 minutes before.

We see a big thing of the Billionaire Ted skits. These were funny at the time, but allegedly they ticked off Ted Turner so much that he revamped WCW, so in essence they nearly killed Vince’s company. There we go then.

Recap of Razor vs. Goldust. In essence, Goldust wants Razor, as in the way I want Ellen Page, so that apparently made Razor put the title on the line. Yeah that makes perfect sense.

Intercontinental Title: Goldust vs. Razor Ramon

Goldust debuted the night before Ahmed so there we are. Hey did you know that Goldust is bizarre? We need to make sure you know that he’s bizarre. Vince says don’t adjust your televisions. I’ve never gotten that expression. How many people actually get up and adjust televisions? What was going to go wrong with it in the last 10 seconds or so since the last segment ended?

Are we supposed to believe that it wasn’t right before? Also, if you have a really fuzzy picture and you had really bad eyesight, would it eventually look normal? Apparently the noise at the beginning of Razor’s music is from screeching tires. What vehicle is making that noise? This is Marlena’s debut as well. She looked really good back at this point.

In a funny moment, Vince goes over the rules to how you win a title and Perfect almost yells about how he’s won the title twice so why does he need to have it explained to him? That’s a really funny point when you think about it very little. Goldy grabs Razor’s chest a few minutes in so there we go. When asked about what he would do against Goldust, Perfect replies with kick him in the face.

I love Mr. Perfect, if nothing else for the rampant sex jokes and innuendos he’s dropping here. At one point when they’re fighting on the floor someone shouts out that Marlena has a nice rack, which is very true. This match seems like it keeps starting and stopping. They’ll do a bit and then Goldust will go all freaky. That’s fine for character development, but it makes for some bad matches which is what’s happening here.

We do however get a cool spot as Goldust hits a slingshot belly to back suplex that I’ve never seen before. Other than that though, there’s just not a lot to talk about here. Finally Goldust takes over, but still there’s no flow to this match. It’s hard to put into words, but you would know what I meant if you say it. Something just doesn’t feel right about it as it just looks choppy for lack of a better word.

On top of that he keeps groping and molesting Razor. That’s just annoying. Can you imagine in wrestling related anything someone that was constantly making gay references and puns and actions? It would drive me crazy. Anyway, it’s a sleeper and a standard comeback by the face.

Oh the fans are mostly dead for this. No Monty Python jokes here by the way. After some Terri interference, the 1-2-3 Kid comes in and heads to the top for a spin kick that clearly misses but I guess the air from it knocks out Razor for Goldust to get the pin.

Rating: D. Uh yeah, this sucked too. I don’t get it. For the most part there’s been talented guys in every match but nothing at all has worked so far. Granted that could be because we’ve had three matches and zero clean endings. Is it that hard to let one guy cleanly beat the other one?

Anyway, like I said earlier this match just feels choppy and it really hurts things. There’s zero flow here and it felt like watching a video game being played where the guy controlling it was just hitting all of the moves he programmed in if that makes sense.

A bunch of people say they’ll win that don’t interest me. Shawn’s doctor says he’s ready to come back.

After the explanation of the rules from Vince (none given to the live crowd), we’re ready to go.

Royal Rumble

HHH is in first and second it Henry Godwin, now rocking the best music in wrestling history: Don’t Go Messin With a Country Boy. These two had a pseudo-rivalry around this time so this works pretty well. We’re back to two minute intervals which almost guarantees a better match. They imply that winning two in a row is almost impossible as Hogan is continually buried.

Backlund is third, completely in his crazy man Presidential candidate (don’t ask) gimmick. Also, how bad of a string of draws does this guy get? The more I see of this guy the more I like him. He’s just amazing considering his age. Backlund still has the Iron Man record at this point. Fourth is Jerry Lawler as I’m already loving these two minute intervals better.

There’s far more time to let people get settled in and it helps a lot. The heat on Lawler is nuts with the Burger King chants. Godwin breaks up a triple team and gets the slop bucket. Everyone gets it at once as they’re on the floor and now we’re back in the ring with a Gallagher reference. Fifth is Bob Holly to fill the jobber quota a bit more. Backlund is on the floor or something I think as he hasn’t been seen in awhile.

He’s not out but he’s not in the ring either. Oh there he is. HHH has jumped twice in this match, which is more than in this decade combined I believe. Mabel, who is still King, is in at 6. He’s gained even more weight here and it even less interesting of a character if that’s possible. HHH is compared to Shawn. Oh dear.

Jake Roberts, on the nostalgia trips to end all nostalgia trips (notice the word choice I used for Jake) is seventh to a solid pop. He lets loose the snake and throws it over Lawler who is of course terrified of snakes. How much of a creep was Roberts? The only people he ever fought were terrified of snakes. That’s just pathetic. Anyway, Lawler hides under the ring as Dory freaking Funk Jr. is #8.

No one knows who he is, which is likely because he’s 56 years old at this point. With the NWA dead at this point, Vince mentions their name on camera. No one has been eliminated yet so we have eight people in and you can recap it yourselves you lazy pests. Jake almost gets a DDT on HHH to a pop but it doesn’t work.

Terry Funk is apparently friends with Bruce Willis. Well ok then. Funk fights Backlund in one of the only encounters you’ll ever see where Bob is ten years younger than the guy he’s fighting. Yokozuna is 9th as we’re way too full here. Those are words I don’t think Yoko ever used. As Backlund has the chicken wing on Funk, Yoko dumps Bob easily to a big pop.

I think he’s just about to or just has turned face. The Kid is tenth as we hit double figures. This hasn’t been bad as it’s pretty clear they’re saving the big guns for the end, but dang those guys are staying in there a long time. It’s not exactly a bad thing, but I’m not sure if I’m sold on it or not.

Razor chases him to the ring as Godwin is eliminated to absolutely zero recognition. I had to rewind it to see where he went out at. Razor chases Kid around for a bit which means nothing in the end. Mo is very annoying to say the least. I think Shane was there as an official to get Razor to the back. Some Japanese wrestler named Omori is number 11. He comes out to the Orient Express’ music, and I don’t have a clue who he is.

Thanks to Wiki, he apparently has a pretty good resume. That’s fine and good, but again we have the same old problem: ALMOST NO ONE KNOWS THAT VINCE. These foreign guys are fine to bring in, but dang it tell us why we should care. Don’t just say he’s a wild man from Japan. We need more than that. Tell us a big name he’s beaten, tell us some titles he’s won, tell us SOMETHING.

I don’t want to have to do a ton of research to figure out who one guy from Japan is in one match. He’s from All Japan Pro, that’s all we get. Even Vince says he doesn’t know a ton about him. Well thanks Vince. Savio Vega is 12th as nothing of note is going on. Dory is out there doing stuff that belongs in the 40s or something which is pretty cool looking.

The saddest part: I doubt half the roster today would be as smooth as he is out there in this match. Yoko puts out Mable and the smarks shed a tear as the completely unimportant Omori is put out by Roberts. To recap, we have HHH, Lawler (hiding under the ring), Holly, Roberts, Funk, Yoko, Kid and Vega in there at the moment. Perfect says he’s tapped into the Superstar line and knows who the next guy is.

Ok wait a minute. So first of all, you can find out the SECRET drawing on the Superstar line? I know they did that last year but I just don’t get what the point is. Why ruin the mystique of one of the biggest matches of the year? Second, you can tap into it? How many science geeks that were watching this (of the 4 or so that were) immediately tried to figure out how to do that? Third, Perfect is on the phone while calling a match? Dude I want that job!

Anyway, 13th is the debuting Vader. At the time, he was a complete monster and rapidly becoming one of the biggest heels in the company. He beats up Holly so he’s a good guy to me. Savio puts out Funk from the apron. Vader of course pulls him back in so there we go. Vader punches Savio, making him dance. Yeah I hate him too. Fourteenth is Doug Gilbert of the USWA, which is Lawler’s company.

Jake sets Vega for the DDT, arguably the most devastating and popular move in company history at that point, so right as he goes for it we cut to Holly trying to dump the Kid. We can see it hit between Holly’s legs and the pop is huge, but of course two career nothings are more important so there we are. In a VERY stupid looking spot, Jake hooks Gilbert for the DDT and then just stares at Vader for at least four seconds and then gets clotheslined over the top. That looked so stupid.

Ok so 15 and 16 are twins called the Squat Team. Yes that’s the best name they could come up with for them. They’re twin 450lb guys from Puerto Rico where they’re called the Headhunters. Ok, so we can’t just call them that generic yet far better name? They last less than two minutes combined as Vader just goes insane on the first one with two punches to knock them both out. That was AWESOME.

As the first one leaves his partner is coming out and they both go to the ring. Vader beats them both up at once until Yoko (still heel apparently) grabs one and is like “Boy get your fatness out of here and make me a sweater” while Vader beats up the other one and is like “BOY go marinate bake me a ham and set the table” and both guys are knocked out.

That was both stupid and pointless which is a nice combination. Oh and just after the first guy came in Doug Gilbert got hit with a freaking AWESOME chokeslam from Vader and thrown out. It looked awesome.

To recap, we have HHH, Lawler (under the ring), Holly, Kid, Vader, Yoko and Vega. Owen is 17th and a major heel at this point due to being the guy that hurt Shawn in the famous enziguri (how in the world is that spelled anyway?) that made Shawn black out. Yoko and Vader just beat the living tar out of Vega and Shawn is 18th as the roof isn’t blown off in the slightest.

There’s a reaction but dang there was nothing impressive about that in the slightest. Vader puts out Savio as Shawn hits HHH. What would the children think??? The crowd is awake but not much beyond that. Vader and Yoko fight at the ropes and Shawn runs up and dumps BOTH of them at once. Ok that was cool looking. The fans are very much insane now. Shawn gorilla presses Kid out in another cool spot.

Vader and Yoko keep fighting as Hakushi is now in to make it him, Shawn, Owen, Holly and HHH as we see the major problem already: it is so completely obvious that Shawn is going to win. Vader comes back in and throws him out to completely silence the crowd. All of a sudden this year that doesn’t count like it used to so Shawn is still in. Gorilla the Commissioner comes down to run off Vader.

Vader would kick dominate him soon which was quite sad. The heel heat on Vader is nuts. Maybe 45 seconds after Hakushi comes in we bring in Tatanka for a one night return for no apparent reason. I’ve always liked that hook of the steel bar that Shawn did. It’s an intelligent counter that works quite well. Owen throws out Hakushi as the Shawn Michaels plus the midcard Rumble continues.

Aldo Montoya is 21st to some of the weirdest music I can ever remember. It’s like techo and tribal mixed and it’s just failing. Shawn finds Lawler under the ring and throws him back in. Sometimes simple heel tactics like that are just made of win. Montoya and Lawler go out almost at the same time as Diesel tries to give Shawn a challenge at 22. I know looking at it now he looks weak but at the time he was a major player still so this was a big deal. He puts Tatanka out with ease.

He and Shawn go at it to a solid pop. Owen goes after Diesel to finally live up to the poster for this event. I have no idea why those two were on the poster. I also have no idea why they didn’t fight at Summerslam 95 instead of Mabel but whatever. I mean really, what match sounds more interesting: Diesel vs. Mable or Diesel vs. Owen? It would have at least been interesting to an extent instead of Diesel and Owen which was completely awful.

Kama is in next to no reaction at all. Yeah Shawn should have come out about 10 spots later than he did. Holly is more or less dead at this point as Shawn hits the ten corner punches on him. The crowd counts with him and I keep thinking it’s another person coming in. Apparently Ahmed has a concussion and is going to the hospital. So wait, it took AN HOUR AND A HALF to figure that out? Dude how bad is your medical staff???

The Ringmaster is in at 24. For those of you that don’t know, he would soon become known as Stone Cold Steve Austin. His manager, Ted DiBiase heading to WCW might have saved the company. He’s wearing white boots here which just doesn’t look right. Aww his boots have little stars on them! That’s so cute! He FINALLY puts out Holly though so he’s awesome already.

Austin is a much more technical based guy here with some very good athleticism. Barry Horowitz is 25th, coming out to his completely sweet rock version of Hava Nagila. How awesome is that? Perfect says that if Horowitz wins this he’ll get back in the ring. That made me chuckle for no reason at all. In a cool looking spot, Owen is leaning on the ropes to choke Shawn so Shawn nips up to kick Owen over, but Owen skins the cat to get back in. That was awesome looking.

The fans are DEAD here. Diesel puts out HHH with complete ease. That looked cool if nothing else. 26th is Fatu. WHY IN THE WORLD DOES HE GET THESE AWESOME DRAWS EVERY YEAR??? This is the making a difference Fatu. My goodness this was awful. It makes Rikishi look brilliant. Hey let’s plug the Superstar Line again! Apparently only the guy on there knows who is next. So is he running around telling people what order to go in?

Perfect changes his stance to he’ll quit if Horowitz wins. So wait, does that mean he’ll quit being retired? If that’s so does that mean he’ll wrestle again? Maybe he didn’t change his stance at all. Owen almost puts Shawn out but just won’t do it because it would probably get him fired. Isaac Yankem (Kane) is in next. Horowitz is gone. Owen hits the enziguri on Shawn again but this time doesn’t kill him.

Austin does the Shawn pose as I laugh. Austin vs. Diesel is a match that I don’t think ever happened. Owen is out due to Diesel and Shawn. 28th is Marty Jannetty as this match just needs to be put out of its misery. Apparently he’s been doing well in the singles division. Did I completely miss some time in the company history? The Rockers go at it in a fight that would have been good maybe 3 years ago.

British Bulldog is 29th again to ZERO reaction. 30th is going to be Duke Droese so there we are. Smith is heel here so he beats on Shawn. He dumps Marty quickly so if nothing else there’s a future for him in vermin control. Fatu puts out Austin. How many people would believe that in three and a half years he would run him over in a car and put him out for a year?

That’s just completely amazing and shows you that all kinds of things can happen in wrestling and you never know what’s coming. Kane knocks out Rikishi with ease as the announcers admit they have no idea how Austin went out due to there being a lot of action going on. No not really but I can’t argue with Vince right? Ok so there’s Duke and the final groups is, and I’m not kidding you here, Duke Droese, Kama, Diesel, Shawn, Bulldog and Yankem. WOW.

If you couldn’t tell who was going to win this and who he was going to eliminate last, you’re an idiot. Droese and Kane go out really fast so your final four are Bulldog, Diesel, Kama and Shawn. And before I’m done typing that Shawn kicks Diesel out to win it. Literally, the final four started and ended inside of 30 seconds. Shawn wins, shocking no one at all. Diesel comes back and they do the Too Sweet sign. Yep, that’s all they do and good night I’m bored here.

Rating: D. How can this show not seem that bad? I mean seriously, Ahmed freaking Johnson at this point has the match of the night, and that’s after guys like Chris Candido, Owen Hart, Shawn Michaels, Scott Hall and Dustin Rhodes have performed. Once Shawn came in, the match was over, period. No one thought for a second that anyone other than HBK was going to win, period. I mean look at this lineup.

The alternatives are the debuting Vader, Diesel, who had talked about Taker nonstop recently so his feud is set up, and……and……oh come on there has to be a third guy. Owen Hart wins it by default I guess: a career midcard guy with a cup of coffee in the main event a year ago that is clearly the first Shawn target. WOW. How in the world did this Rumble get a chance to do anything? There is no way this was ever, and I mean ever, was going to work.

The only thing CLOSE to making this work would have been Yoko, Diesel, Owen and Vader against Shawn at the end. I mean really, who else was going to win? This wasn’t interesting at all and other than for a few seconds, the crowd might as well have been asleep, and I can’t blame them a bit. This was just boring.

Bret says he’ll win in a generic interview, which is somehow the most interesting thing I’ve seen other than Vader and Yoko being put out in over an hour.

WWF Title: Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

This is happening because Bret is champion and Taker would have been far too big of a threat to Shawn’s popularity. Taker is wearing the skull mask at this point after Mabel and Yokozuna destroyed his face. For no apparent reason, Diesel is still at ringside. He gets in Taker’s face and there they go. Taker was just all kinds of awesome at this point, as he was reaching that mythical level that few get to.

He’s officially that kind of guy that’s awesome just because he’s who he is. Like today for example, it’s about two weeks after Kofi destroyed Orton’s car. That was AWESOME. Kofi got over in that one segment and granted I have no idea if it’ll still or not as you guys won’t read this for about two months, but the point is he might just fall off the map. A guy like Taker simply isn’t going to fall off the level he’s on barring anything completely insane happening.

He was just hitting that level around this time. He’s like Shawn is now: you can throw together a stupid storyline to put him in the title match and everyone will buy it because he’s just awesome enough to be in it. Bret’s pop is solid here, but this crowd just kind of sucks. Ok we’ve been in this match 3 minutes now and I think I already know what’s coming. I had a bad vibe about this match earlier on and it’s coming true now: they’re doing a formula match.

Yep, Bret’s going for the knee early. That means a long drawn out match where Bret works on the leg with a submission, Taker fights back, Bret hits the knee and uses a submission, Taker fights back, Bret hits the knee and uses a submission, Taker fights back, Bret hits the knee or a suplex move and sets for the Sharpshooter and somewhere in there we brawl on the floor with a weapon other than the belt or a chair being used. And what do you know I’m right.

Yes, for about 25 minutes, that’s all we get. During that Bret gets the stupid looking skull mask off of Taker that was just really annoying. PLEASE END THIS! Taker hits the Tombstone finally, and here’s Diesel for the cheap DQ to set up Diesel vs. Bret to set up Diesel vs. Taker. Ok, I know I have the benefit of hindsight here, but this was as predictable as humanly possible.

The signs were all there for Diesel vs. Taker, especially the fight before the match started. I mean seriously, who in their right mind thought Taker had a chance here? Actually he won, so who thought he had a chance of getting the title here? Whatever, I just want this show to end.

Rating: C-. While it was formula stuff, it was somehow by far and away the best match of the night, and that’s just pitiful. They went out there and did half an hour of stuff you could write a textbook with. Now I know that usually means greatness, but in this case I mean a book called Cookie Cutter Title Matches in 30 Elongated Minutes.

It might have been that I was just wanting this show to end, but this was boring as heck to me. I’m going with the C- because it gives it the best grade of the night just so Jeff Jarrett can’t have it. WWF>TNA, forever, even when you have to lie to get there.

Overall Rating: D-. Somehow, this passes. I have zero idea how, but somehow it passes. The matches all completely sucked, but it was like I kept wanting to like the show. That’s either really good or really bad and I’m not sure which.

This whole show feels like the forms you have to fill out to get something you know you’re getting: it’s pointless, you don’t like it, but you have to do it anyway to get to the end result. This show is just boring. I don’t know if it’s particularly bad, but it’s just so boring that it becomes bad. Don’t watch this unless you’re an insomniac.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1996 (2016 Redo): It Doesn’t Get Much More Important Than This

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 1996
Date: November 17, 1996
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,647
Commentators: Jim Ross, Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Free For All: Team Bart Gunn vs. Team Billy Gunn

Bart Gunn, Aldo Montoya, Bob Holly, Jesse James

Billy Gunn, Salvatore Sincere, Justin Bradshaw, The Sultan

Holly comes in with a bulldog as we see Aldo walk up the ramp opposite the cameras (an MSG standard). Sultan grabs a chinlock and we take a break to come back with Sultan slamming Bart on the floor so Sincere (a flamboyant yet still generic Italian) can baseball slide him in the face. Back in and Bart grabs a side slam to get rid of Sincere and tie the match up.

Bradshaw (who JR says is going to be something special) comes in and kicks the freshly tagged Holly in the face. We go to a split screen to see Austin running Dok Hendrix out of his dressing room and come back to Bradshaw hitting the Clothesline From an Undisclosed Location to eliminate Holly.

Team Furnas and Lafon vs. Team Owen Hart/British Bulldog

Doug Furnas, Phillip Lafon, Henry Godwinn, Phineas Godwinn

Owen Hart, British Bulldog, Marty Jannetty, Leif Cassidy

Leif comes in to cover and the former powerlifter sends him flying on the kickout. The bad guys get smart with a blind tag and a springboard missile dropkick to wipe Furnas out in a great looking visual. JR goes into yet another rant about the referees not catching the heels cheating, which is a really weird complaint for a heel to have.

Paul Bearer insists he WILL NOT get into the cage and be hung above the ring. Mankind will crush Undertaker like the cockroaches he used to eat for dinner.

Undertaker vs. Mankind

Bearer is in an individual cage above the ring and if Undertaker wins, Bearer is his for five minutes. The entrance is an important one as Undertaker descends from the rafters and debuts the sleeveless leather attire that would become his signature look for the next several years. It marks the evolution of the original character to the newer, sleeker fighting machine that could hurt people at will.

Team Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Team Marc Mero

Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Jerry Lawler, Goldust, Crush

Marc Mero, The Stalker, Rocky Maivia, Jake Roberts

Rating: D. They accomplished the goal of giving Rocky a good rub to start (hence why you have goons like Crush around to take a fall like this) but this was WAY too long. You could probably cut out five to ten minutes here and do just about the same thing. Windham was worthless (as he was for most of the time after 1990 or so) and there were way too many stretches of boring non-action dragging it down.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

Bret takes him down and stays on the arm with a hammerlock until a hard elbow to the jaw puts him down. Austin keeps slugging away until Bret pulls him into another armbar. Bret: “ASK HIM!” Did Jericho get that from Bret? Steve comes right back with a hot shot and starts choking on the bottom rope.

Faarooq/Vader/Razor Ramon/Diesel vs. Flash Funk/Savio Vega/Yokozuna/???

Jimmy almost runs over for the tag back to Vega, who hits maybe 10% of a spinwheel kick on Diesel. Faarooq rams him into the post and the Jackknife ends Vega to hopefully start wrapping this up. The Superfly Splash ends Ramon less than a minute later and then the remaining six come in for the big brawl, resulting in a massive DQ and no winner.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Sid

The threat of a powerbomb sends Shawn bailing to the outside and we have a breather. Back in and Shawn gets smart by going after the knee, including a Figure Four (actually done on the proper leg). The hold is turned over and Sid sends him shoulder first into the post to take over. Shawn goes right back to the knee and the fans boo him out of the Garden. Thankfully they catch on to the idea and Sid blasts Shawn to the floor with a clothesline.

Back in and Sid gets in a few kicks to the face, followed by a big backbreaker for two. We hit a cobra clutch of all things (Sid would use that occasionally and it always looked weird for someone his size) before a chokeslam drops the champ. Shawn hits his flying forearm and is loudly booed, though the nipup draws a high pitched pop.

Shawn checks on Jose as Sid poses to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Team Jesse James vs. Team Billy Gunn

Original: N/A

2012 Redo: N/A

2016 Redo: C-

Team Furnas and Lafon vs. Team Owen Hart/British Bulldog

Original: B-

2012 Redo: C+

2016 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Mankind

Original: C+

2012 Redo: B

2016 Redo: B

Team Jerry Lawler vs. Team Jake Roberts

Original: D

2012 Redo: C+

2016 Redo: D

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

2012 Redo: A+

2016 Redo: A+

Team Vader vs. Team Yokozuna

Original: D-

2012 Redo: F

2016 Redo: F-

Shawn Michaels vs. Sycho Sid

Original: C-

2012 Redo: B

2016 Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2012 Redo: B+

2016 Redo: B

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/15/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1996-bret-vs-austin-the-prequel-and-rock-debuts/

And the 2012 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/04/survivor-series-count-up-1996-thats-blue-chip-right-there/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1996 (2012 Redo): The Blue Chip Special

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 1996
Date: November 17, 1996
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,647
Commentators: Jim Ross, Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Team Furnas and Lafon vs. Team Owen Hart/British Bulldog

Doug Furnas, Phillip Lafon, Godwins

Owen Hart, British Bulldog, New Rockers

Kevin Kelly is in the boiler room with Paul Bearer and Mankind, as Bearer abandoned Undertaker for Mankind at Summerslam. Tonight the huge rivalry continues with Bearer locked in a small cage above the ring. This is when Mankind was still relatively new (he debuted about six and a half months before this) and no one knew what to make of him yet. All anyone knew was he could beat up Undertaker which was unheard of at the time.

Mankind vs. Undertaker

Bearer has to be locked in the small cage. Undertaker lowers down from the rafters in what can only be called a Batman costume minus the mask. The ring gear is new as well as he basically a biker vest and leather pants. That would become his standard look for the next three years or so. Mankind rams him into the small cage to start and they head to the floor very quickly.

We head to the floor for the third time via a Cactus Clothesline and they head into the crowd. Mankind charges atUndertaker but gets backdropped over the barricade and onto the concrete. A low blow putsUndertaker down on the apron and down onto the floor, where Mankind hits the elbow off the apron. Undertaker gets sent into the buckle but comes back with an elbow to the face.

Old School hits but Mankind pops up and hits a double arm DDT to put Undertaker down. Mankind goes up but jumps into a chokeslam. The Claw goes on but Undertaker chokeslams him anyway. Cool spot. Undertaker tries a cross body but he crashes over the top and out to the floor. Mankind tries a flip dive off the apron but crashes just as badly and both guys are down. Back in and Mankind tries a quick sleeper, only to be suplexed for his efforts.

Sunny comes out for commentary.

Team Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Team Marc Mero

Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Jerry Lawler, Goldust, Crush

Marc Mero, Jake Roberts, The Stalker, Rocky Maivia

Bret says MSG is holy ground for him.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

Austin actually wins a technical battle and cranks on the arm. Bret does the same and adds a hammerlock. They fight for wristlocks and Bret takes it to the mat, working on the arm. Austin fights up and takes his head off with an elbow. Bret stays technical, Austin turns it into a brawl. This is going to have some good psychology in it and the match is going to be fun as a result. Bret takes it right back to the mat and cranks on the arm again.

Austin escapes a backbreaker with a rake of the eyes as momentum shifts again. Bret gets sent to the floor and Austin just pounds on him with forearms and punches. Austin rams him back first into the post as the attacks shifts to the back. Bret comes back by sending him into the barricade, breaking the thing apart. They head into the front row and knock the barricade over. Austin is in trouble again and Bret chases him to the other side of the ring.

Sid is ready for Shawn tonight.

Team Farrooq vs. Team Yokozuna

Farrooq, Vader, Razor Ramon, Diesel

Yokozuna, Flash Funk, Savio Vega, Jimmy Snuka

Off to Savio who gets beaten up by Farrooq on the floor. Back in and Diesel Jackknifes Snuka for the first elimination. Off to Snuka vs. Ramon now with Snuka slamming him down and hitting the Superfly Splash for the elimination. Then everyone brawls in the ring and EVERYONE is disqualified at the same time.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Sycho Sid

Shawn avoids a charge into the corner and goes after the knee some more. Sid kicks him into the ropes and Shawn skins the cat, but Sid clotheslines him right to the floor. Shawn gets dropped on the barricade for two back inside. Sid hits a few running kicks to the head in the corner as things slow down again. Michaels avoids a charge in the corner and goes up, with the fans openly booing him now.

The champ dives into a backbreaker for two and Shawn can barely get up. Shawn fights up and turns it into a slugout with Sid going down. We get the always stupid looking jump into the boot spot and Sid puts on a cobra clutch. Shawn fights up but walks into a chokeslam. The place is exploding for Sid here. The powerbomb is countered into a small package for two but Sid gets the same off a powerslam.

Shawn scrambles to the back to check on Jose.

Ratings Comparison

Team Furnas and Lafon vs. Team Owen Hart and British Bulldog

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. Mankind

Original: C+

Redo: B

Team Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Team Marc Mero

Original: D

Redo: C+

Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Team Farrooq vs. Team Yokozuna

Original: D-

Redo: F

Sycho Sid vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C-

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B+

Like I said, I liked it better than I rememebred.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/15/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1996-bret-vs-austin-the-prequel-and-rock-debuts/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1996 (Original): Let’s Get It Started

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 1996
Date: November 17, 1996
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,647
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross

Now you can see the Attitude Era being born at this show, and it comes from one man: Stone Cold Steve Austin. Shawn Michaels is the WWF Champion, having won it at Mania 12. After beating Bret Hart, Bret left the company for six months and in that time, Austin won the King of the Ring and uttered the most legendary catchphrase of all time: Austin 3:16.

He then began calling out Hart, saying that he didn’t care what Hart had done, because Hart couldn’t beat Austin on Hart’s best day. That’s one of your main events. Your other is Shawn vs. Sid for the title. Yeah that’s kind of an afterthought here. We have our standard Survivor Series matches as well, with the debut of one of the biggest stars of all time here. I haven’t seen this show all the way through in years but it looks very good. Let’s see if it is.

We start off by seeing a big recap of how the WWF has been taking over New York, including the Hall of Fame inductions which they don’t even mention who was inducted so that should tell you how important it was. This was actually pretty good. I’m actually looking forward to this one.

Owen Hart/British Bulldog/New Rockers vs. Furnace/Lafon/Godwins

We immediately start it up here and Lawler is on commentary for this match only. That was a weird part to the show. Anyway, the New Rockers are heels here and it’s Marty Jannetty and Leif Cassidy, more commonly known as Al Snow. Now I’ve heard a lot about how great Furnace and Lafon are, but I’ve never seen it. They’re not bad at all, but they’re average to me. Maybe I’m wrong. I’ll give them another chance as I have no reason at all to hate them yet.

Oh apparently on the Free For All which was the preshow that anyone could watch, Bart Gunn was the survivor in a match. That’s a really bad sign for the rest of the evening. This is Furnace and Lafon’s WWF debut but they’re big stars in Japan. Ok then. The Godwinns have Hillbilly Jim and therefore are ridiculously popular. Like I’ve said, he’s one of those guys that was popular for a variety of reasons, but the biggest was that he never overstayed his welcome.

That’s something that a lot of unserious characters today need to get. Also, not all characters are going to be main event guys. Look at Kofi for example. Is anyone going to buy him as a main event wrestler? In the ring yes but not with that gimmick, and that’s fine.

Anyway, on to the match. We start with Lafon vs. Jannetty so already Lafon is the bigger name. Marty is just such an epic fail as a heel it’s unbelievable. Lafon isn’t bad at all. He’s not great but I’m not bored with him or anything. Now it’s over to Phineas, more commonly known as Mideon. All of a sudden I’d love to have Lafon back in there. Snow is really quite underrated. It’s a shame he always got such insane gimmicks.

The heels all beat on Mideon which gets a bit repetitive. The problem with this match is getting clearer and clearer: there is a complete lack of star power out there. I have no desire to see these guys wrestle each other at all. Ross is getting very heel-esque here with a lot of his lines. I’m assuming another failed attempt at making him a character would be coming soon. It never worked at all yet Vince did it like three times.

Marty and Henry go out within 10 seconds of each other, the first to a Slop Drop (Scorpion Death Drop) and Henry to a spinning heel kick by Owen. Well that was quick and not incredibly painful I suppose. Phineas has one of his weird fits where he becomes unstoppable and somehow even worse than he usually was. It’s very similar to Festus after the bell ringing. What is it with hillbillies and moods like that? It’s rather stupid.

Anyway, he walks into the powerslam from Davey and it’s 3-2. Furnace comes in and botches a dropkick. I’m not sure whose fault that was, but Bulldog was supposed to hold the ropes I think. Furnace landed on Bulldog’s back. It looked odd and was clearly a blown spot. Owen lands a Perfectplex. That’s just odd to see.

JR asks if he’s the only one thinking here as the referees are messing up by having the outside referee do nothing at all. Vince sounds so utterly bored that it’s downright laughable. Upon me actually thinking, Ross was indeed in the middle of a heel angle here. Considering it took me 10 minutes to remember that, you can tell how effective it was. Lafon hits a sick looking reverse suplex from the middle rope to end Cassidy and it’s the tag champions against Furnace and Lafon.

Bulldog hits a nip up. That was surprising. Ross says he looks strong. That…doesn’t make much since. The heels beat up on the faces for awhile until we get a slugfest between Lafon and Bulldog. In a perfectly fluid moment, Bulldog casually kicks him in the balls. That was a sweet heel move. Ross of course screams how awful the referees are.

Lafon gets Bulldog with a quick rollup to make it 2-1 and I think we can see the ending coming already. Owen gets the Sharpshooter as Ross is really getting annoying. Furnace breaks it up. Both guys are down after a sweet looking spin kick by Lafon to counter Owen. Furnace is in and he’s pretty good. He hits a bad release German suplex though where you can see that Owen’s head doesn’t actually hit the mat as he flips over. It was bad looking but most people won’t notice that so it’s fine.

Rating: B-. I’m not sure if I get the point of this match. I know it was to get Furnace and Lafon over, but did it need the other four guys? This could easily have been just a regular tag match, maybe non title or have ended with the heels running away etc. The wrestling was ok, but I found it to be overkill.

A certain rookie is nervous but ready. That takes two minutes to say.

We go to the boiler room with Mankind and Paul Bearer who say Taker won’t get their hands on Bearer. Foley had this character at a completely scary level.

Mankind vs. Undertaker

The catch here is that Bearer is in a cage above the ring. This was a white hot feud at the time as Mankind was a different kind of opponent for Taker for one reason: he might have been able to take a bigger beating than Taker which was unheard of. No matter how much he beat on him, Taker couldn’t get rid of Mankind. They traded wins in gimmick matches and regular matches, but Taker just can’t end him. That’s a nice touch and change of pace.

This is I think their 4th match on PPV. Bearer won’t get in and Ross thinks that it’s because he can’t fit in it. The gong goes off and the people freak out. Considering this is being written the night after Breaking Point, allow me: YOU TAPPED OUT! YOU TAPPED OUT! YOU TAPPED OUT! Oh that felt good. Anyway, his entrance is over the top even for him. He comes down from the rafters with his arms spread and his cape, yes it’s a cape, out behind him.

Yes, it’s the Undertaker imitating Batman. Just picture that for a minute. Where’s Doink when we need him? Did I really just say that? See what this show is doing to me and we’re 30 minutes into it. Bearer hides in the cage as we get underway. There’s a cage cam and Ross is way too excited about it. Taker’s outfit looks like it’s leather and shiny. Taker is not only Batman but apparently a dominatrix.

This was the very beginning of a new phase in Taker’s career as he began shifting more towards the evil monster and more demonic of a character. He shows this transformation by using a drop toe hold. He then goes to a wrist lock and then a Fujiwara Armbar. This is just odd to see. Taker is going after Mankind’s hand, which makes perfect sense due to the leathalness of the Mandible Claw. Taker misses an elbow and is up before Mankind. That’s just sweet.

Taker’s outfit reminds me of Rocky Horror for some reason. Ross hypes up a show in London for no good reason. He sounds like he did in WCW which is odd indeed. We hit the crowd which Ross calls the streets. Yeah that looks like a place people drive Jimbo. Back in the ring, we go to a wider shot that just looks odd. You can see the first two rows on either side instead of the usual closer standard shot. Taker bites the fingers used for the claw.

Call me stupid, but wouldn’t that be like asking for the hold to be put on you? The fingers are there, so why doesn’t Mankind just put the hold on? It sounds simple to me, but I’m no professional I guess. I’ll try to find a new catchphrase as I’m growing tired of that. He fights off the Claw as Ross won’t shut up about the freaking cage cam. The random painted on tear drop on Taker’s cheek is just odd.

Mankind finally hits the Claw for about a second but Mankind is launched to the floor to break it up. I don’t ever recall two guys this big doing bumps this hard for this long of a feud. That’s quite impressive, and the scary thing is their biggest match was nearly two years away at this point. As Piper would say, Old School is cool. I wonder if he liked Will Ferrell.

Foley goes up and Taker just starts popping him with big punches that sound sick. He sets for a chokeslam but the Claw breaks that up. Vince keeps calling the chokeslam the Goozle. What in the world is that? It sounds like a screwed up version of Google. Eventually he breaks it and chokeslams Mankind. Why didn’t he just bite him like he did earlier? Have some consistency please, I beg of you. Mankind misses a forward roll to the floor.

If he had done a barrel roll he would have hit it. Vince, stop suggesting things. I would suggest you shut up immediately. Who told you that you could commentate well? I want them shot. Foley has some weird spike thing. It sounds like he’s saying s a t. I never got the point of his babbling but I liked it. It added a weird something to his character that made him somehow even more insane, if that’s possible.

Anyway, as Mankind pounds on him, Taker just casually picks him up and tombstones him to end this. That was abrupt. Bearer is lowered down but the Executioner runs out to save Paul. He gets the quickest beating ever as the heels all leave. This led to a one off bad match between the two at an In Your House where Taker beat him up with relative ease.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t one of their better matches. That’s the problem that these two had: they had to top their last match every time and eventually they’d have something like this. It’s a good match, but by comparison it’s not much at all. Either way, this was pretty good I guess. It’s certainly passable, but the ending came from absolutely nowhere, which isn’t something I tend to like. Still, this was fine.

Sunny comes out for commentary on the next match with her very catchy song.

HHH’s Team vs. Marc Mero’s Team

Mero: Stalker (Barry Windham), Jake Roberts, Rocky Maivia
HHH: Crush, Goldust, Jerry Lawler

HHH is Intercontinental Champion here, which he would soon lose to Rocky. This is Rocky’s debut with the company and he’s just SO happy to be here. That would become his gimmick: he’s getting beaten up a lot, but he’s happy to be here. Eventually he would win the IC belt, and he was still happy. He lost it and he wouldn’t stop smiling. Then the crowd told him to die, and a gimmick change was needed.

The Rock was born and the rest is pure history, as opposed to unpure history which isn’t pure. We get a quick interview from the heels which is all standard stuff. Lawler’s music is so freaking snobbish that it’s awesome. He would more or less retire soon after this and just become an announcer. Ross says he is having a hard time getting a raise from Vince. That’s just weird to hear this early. HHH’s belt is white as apparently he’s channeling Warrior.

Sunny and Ross get into it as Sunny points out there’s no woman with HHH. Ross of course is ticked off at this because that’s what Ross does. He doesn’t have his hat either. Ross as a heel is just awful because he’s a whiny little an. Stalker is wearing a WWF t-shirt. I have no idea what this gimmick was supposed to be, but it completely failed. Mark Henry was supposed to be on the face team, but he’s been replaced by Jake Roberts.

I guess Mero was captain leading into this? Roberts was doing the preacher thing at this point and has the big yellow snake out. Jake’s music never got old to me. He did but his music didn’t. The alcohol jokes begin already. These intros are taking WAY too long. We cut to a shot outside the arena for no apparent reason other than to say we’re LIVE.

We start (finally) with Mero and Lawler. Windham has a handlebar mustache going on. It’s blonde, making it look very creepy indeed. Ok, no contact is made and Stalker is tagged in. I hate this match already. Lawler tags out. Stalker tags Mero which makes HHH run. There has still been zero contact. Sunny is talking about how downloaded she is and HOLY CRAP THEY’RE FIGHTING! Apparently Mr. Perfect is gone again as Helmsely threw him out or something.

Now it’s Stalker who is sloppy beyond belief. Oddly enough he’s a former world champion. Dang there’s a lot of gold in this. Ok so it’s just HHH and Rocky that had a lot but they make up for the rest. Again, Mero gets tagged in and HHH runs. This is just stupid. I get that it’s a heel tactic, but I want to see some wrestling, not a track meet. Why is Crush in this match? I don’t get it.

He would be joining the Nation soon enough, but at this point he has zero going on for him. I have no idea why he’s in this match either. Rocky vs. Lawler now, and good grief he looks awesome. You could tell they were going to push him to the freaking moon. He gets called Dwayne Johnson here, which I don’t think ever happened again. On to Rock vs. HHH, and the idea that they would steal the freaking show in less than two years in this arena blows my mind.

Everybody gets to beat on Rocky for awhile as Sunny apparently wants a piece of Rocky. Ross makes a reference to Crush being in jail and Vince doesn’t like it. Crush was a dark horse to be WWF Champion and he got sent to jail for weapons issues, throwing Vince’s plans off. If nothing else he would have won the IC Title or have gotten a huge push.

Sunny says Vince wears a toupee which amuses me. Rocky finally gets Jake in and the crowd pops hard. After a brief beatdown and some tasteless Lawler jokes, the DDT makes it 4-3 with Jerry being gone. Considering HHH would be in DX in a year, hearing Ross say he’s all business makes me laugh.

Windham comes in and gets less than no reaction. I mean the crowd is dead. Soon afterwards the Curtain Call ties it up. Finally the captains go at it as this match is just bad. Nothing interesting is happening at all and it’s just plodding through it. Rocky’s debut is the only reason for this match to exist. I just noticed something VERY weird. I downloaded a torrent of this show, but it’s clipped. It’s a tape of a British broadcast of it on Sky.

I found another version online, but the commentary is different. On the British version, there’s a lot of dead air time. On the American version, Sunny is insulting Sable. The rest of her commentary is there, but not all of it. That’s just very odd indeed. I’m assuming that it’s due to something to do with it being in the UK, but I honestly don’t know. That’s interesting if nothing else. Don Muraco is here. That’s just awesome.

Actually it’s not as Muraco is really overrated. This is just dull. It’s nothing but filler stuff here as they I guess have to fill their time quota. We go split screen to look at Sunny. Somehow that’s more interesting than a twenty something minute match. Mero puts out HHH with a moonsault. Oh wait, it’s a Merosault. I wouldn’t want him to speak out against me. Mero botches a flip over the ropes and crashes, leading to a Heart Punch from Crush to make it 2-2.

Less than thirty seconds later, another Heart Punch (which clearly hits Jake in the jaw) puts Roberts out. Well at least the most talented face is left. Sunny makes 2-1 jokes. So let me see: 2 midcard jobbers vs. a rookie hotshot. Hmm I wonder how this is going to end.

The Heart Punch misses and hits Goldust and a cross body beats Crush. A shoulderbreaker ends it as that was the perfect ending. A Coliseum Video Exclusive Interview says he knew he could do it. He’s really weak on the mic here, but it’s his first night so that’s completely excusable.

Rating: D. This was just boring. However, since it’s Rock’s debut, it’s certainly something that people should take a look at maybe once. He looked great out there in his first match in the big leagues and there was no sign of being nervous. The win was perfect because it didn’t make the bigger star, Goldust, look weak because Crush, another big star, did the damage that led to his elimination. As for the other six, it was a waste of 20 minutes.

We hit the recap of Austin vs. Bret and this looks great. The idea is simple: Bret represents tradition and old school, Austin represents the opposite. Austin calls him out repeatedly, and this is the showdown. That’s as basic as it gets. Apparently this is a #1 contender match also.

Austin says he’ll win.

Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin

The fans are starting to cheer Austin a bit. Bret says that he’s here for respect. JR says that he’d love to see this come down to a submission style match. Either he knew what was coming in 6 months or he’s a wrestling genius. Vince must have told him. Anyway, Bret gets a very good pop. It explodes when he hits the arena. The fireworks go off and you know this is going to be freaking epic to say the least.

The opening staredown looks like something out of a movie as the camera is positioned so that only their faces can be seen. Austin backs up and his face is replaced by his two middle fingers. That’s absolutely perfect. Ross AGAIN talks about how this is going to come down to a submission and says neither have tapped. That’s nonsense as Austin had tapped to a Sharpshooter on a tour in Kuwait that was taped before this match happened, but it’s WWF so it’s ok.

Why can’t this end in a pin? I don’t get that at all. Vince mentions someone putting the Sharpshooter on Bret and him tapping to it. This is either the most predictable company in wrestling history, or Vince made a lot of long term plans. Bret had been saying that Austin was the best wrestler in the world leading up to this match, and they start on the ground. That’s interesting to see from Austin.

He’s considered to be nothing but a brawler, but he doesn’t get nearly enough credit for what he can do on the mat. Vince tries desperately to convince us that Austin’s athleticism is the reason he’s getting cheered.

He just wouldn’t accept that the fans were changing and it nearly buried him. Ross says that Hart has done everything in Madison Square Garden other than beat Austin. Ok wait a minute. So, the only thing he hasn’t done is beat Austin? Has he beaten HHH? Rocky? How about has he staged a Broadway revival of Porgy and Bess? Apparently he has since the only thing he hasn’t done here is beat Austin.

Stone Cold is doing some SWEET mat work here, but Ross refuses to give him credit for it, saying he’s just brawling. You know, I hate Jim Ross. I think I always have. He’s this smug jerk that thinks because he’s been in wrestling forever that he’s owed something. Screw you Jim Ross. Grow up already. All you do is cheer for your friends and the people that kiss up to you backstage and other than that you’re just a ticked off, grumpy old man.

You sit around whining and complaining about how no one respects you and how you’re just doing your job. No you fat tub of goo. Your job is to call wrestling matches, not to be this son of a gun that tries to be the show. I don’t care how many freaking historic moments you’ve called, I don’t care how many times you’ve been named announcer of the year, I don’t care what you’ve had to put up with.

No announcer is more important than any wrestler and you need to get off your soapbox and do your job like an adult should. Until then, stop wasting my time. ANYWAY, now that I’ve ranted against JR a bit, I’ll get back to the match. JR (dang it) says that Bret has been obsessed with Austin for years. Wait, what? Austin had only been in the company like a year and a half at this point.

So wait, Bret was obsessed with a guy that wasn’t even in this company yet and was a rookie when Bret was already a veteran? See why I can’t stand Ross? Half the time he doesn’t even make sense. As Ross continues to complain about how he’s not respected, I’m tempted to mute this thing. According to Vince, Bret isn’t being offensive or defensive. Then what the heck is he being? Swiss?

Tomorrow there’s a toughman contest with Austin and Vader. This would be more commonly known as a hardcore match eventually. Ross keeps going with this stupid submission theory, despite Vince talking about how the Stunner is devastating. Austin’s psychology here is off the charts.

This is Bret’s first match in 7 months, so he’s using a lot of wear down moves to make Bret expend energy. That’s very smart indeed. Austin is doing stuff like fast covers one after another, Irish whips, things like that. They’re doing a very slow pace here, which I think is the way to go. They’re doing the slow build here, which is the right thing to do. It’s an older mentality that needs to make a comeback.

They’re into the crowd a bit as a simple throw breaks the barricade. It’s great to see how impressive the security is here. Now it’s completely down and there’s nothing keeping the fans from running into the ring. Austin fights back and gets a slingshot on Bret who hits the table but doesn’t go through it. Now we’re in a higher gear, but after the build they had it works a lot better. Ross comments on how it always happens to the Spanish guys. Oh how little he knows.

They do two more spots on the table and the freaking thing won’t break. That’s a tough table. The fans are all over this too. Ross says Vince needs to realize that it’s not 91 or 94 in this arena. Jim, I think Bret knows what year it is. So he wouldn’t want to get an upset win after getting beaten on forever? He would rather lose? You just make my head hurt. Austin hates the fans apparently. Geez Ross is talking about the submission thing again.

Where was this talking at Mania? Bret steals an Austin move with a stun gun. Why that little thief. He follows it up with one of the sweetest piledrivers I’ve ever seen. That was great. Bret goes up top for the second time in the match and this time it doesn’t work. We get some WOO chops, which surprises me as I would have thought it was too far north for that. Austin follows with a top rope suplex as these guys are freaking killing each other out there.

He hits the Stunner but pulls Bret away from the ropes which gives Bret the chance to kick out and Austin is MAD. He puts a Texas Cloverleaf on instead but Bret gets the ropes. Bret almost gets the Sharpshooter but Austin is out.

Austin locks on the Million Dollar Dream, but Bret gets his feet on the turnbuckle (his feet touched the ropes so the hold should have been broken but whatever) and kicks off, rolling over backwards for the pin. The crowd pops madly as Bret celebrates and Austin stares him down from ringside.

Rating: A+. This is a truly forgotten classic and it suffers because of a simple reason; it’s sequel might be the greatest match of all time. This was a classic example of a torch passing feud. Austin was clearly the future with Bret being the star of the past. This is what the WWE needs to do today with its young guys, but I could rant for days on that so I’ll spare you.

This match did a lot for both men. It showed that Bret still had it, while the announcers did a good enough job of pointing out how good Austin was. It also showed that Austin was indeed worthy of fighting in the main event as he had Bret on many occasions with Bret winning on a miracle at the end.
This along with the King of the Ring speech, the I Quit match and the Rock truck match are probably the combined reasons why Austin took the company over the top in a few years. Anyway, this is a classic and go find it. It’s worth the half hour.

We go to Doc in the back with Sid, who says that he’ll win. He’s just bad on the mic.

Lou Albano wanders out to the ring because I guess he got lost. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame last night. He’s going to do Spanish commentary apparently. Well ok then.

Vader’s Team vs. Yokozuna’s Team

Vader: Farrooq, Fake Razor/Fake Diesel
Yoko: Flash Funk, Savio Vega, Mystery Partner

Ross brought these two back into the company. Again, I have no clue what the point of this was. I’m guessing that it was supposed to be a joke or something, but at the moment the only joke was how low the ratings were. Fake Diesel is Kane by the way. Good grief how many characters did he have to play? Cornette is going to do commentary. Thank goodness. The Nation’s entrance with its own live rappers is just great.

Savio and Crush would soon join the team to make it the better version. Yoko weighs about 700lbs here and would be gone soon. Flash Funk’s girls, the Funkettes, were at least hot. I’m guessing this is his debut. Is there a need to have this match? Yeah it’s his debut. Why are we seeing this match? How was this not on the Free For All? He’s wearing yellow and red, which Ross says has never looked better in the Garden.

If you weren’t getting your face kicked in, that would be a great line. The mystery partner is Jimmy Snuka. Seriously? Cornette is PANICKING. So let me get this straight. We have a guy that wears 700lbs, a pimp, an old guy, and a career jobber vs. two fakes and a pair of former WCW Champions. Please, be quick. We start with Flash and Vader as apparently Snuka is a big deal.

He never won anything of worth and he’s old, yet he’s the best worker on his team. Let that sink in for a bit. Scratch that. 2 Cold Scorpio is better, but this is Flash Funk isn’t it? Never mind, Snuka takes it. I might as well not watch the match and just listen to Cornette. He’s miles more entertaining and interesting here.

Yoko comes in to stop Vader and it’s just embarrassing. All he can really do is punch and waddle. Farrooq is in his standard stuff now and looks far more intimidating. They really had something with him but they never pulled the trigger for some reason.

Ross says he could manage Vader better than Cornette. “You couldn’t manage a Wendy’s!” “I could if you were in town Cornette!” Can we just let Ross and Cornette argue all night long? Yoko’s tights might house a small city. Kane wrestling as Diesel is rather intriguing. Oddly enough, Kane uses the Punjabi Plunge on Funk, which is ironic at the moment since Kane has been feuding with Khali.

Funk is taking a beating here as Farrooq hits a SWEET spinebuster. Vader is called a great garbage man by Cornette which makes perfect sense in context. I’d write the line out but that would mean pausing the match and I don’t have enough heroin and cocaine to get me through the extra time. Snuka comes in and chops Kane. Snuka actually slams Vader with relative ease. That’s surprising.

Savio and Diesel are in now and shockingly, Vega botches a move, in this case the spinwheel kick, somehow going too high with it. Yes, he went too high on Kane. Diesel has to drop low early to get hit by it on the way down and it just looks awful. In other words, the kick was supposed to hit him at its highest point in the jaw. Instead Kane started falling before the foot did and the foot hit him on its way down, if that makes sense.

Savio goes out to a decent Jackknife. Not great, but since he rarely used it, not bad. Superfly Splash ends Razor, and then as Jimmy is celebrating, Kane blasts the tar out of him with a chair. In a botched moment, you can see Savio running through the door literally the second the chair connects, chair in hand.

The timing was off there but I get what they were going for. Anyway, everyone comes in and it’s a massive disqualification, so the match is over. Are you serious? At least we get some awesome chair shots in this brawl. Ross says it was a premature DQ. After two chair shots in front of the ref, it’s not enough. And you wonder why I can’t stand him.

Rating: D-. This was an absolute waste of 10 minutes. They couldn’t have done a quick…I don’t know…ANYWHING else but this? Let’s see. Vader wasn’t doing anything here, two guys are part of a big joke, Snuka is retired, one guy is debuting, one guy just got a gimmick change, and one has no story. Maybe this was the best they could do, but wouldn’t something like Funk vs. a jobber have worked better? The only reason this isn’t an F is Cornette.

Standard video package about Shawn vs. Sid. This has barely been touched on at all other than really basic stuff. The video package helped a bit.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Sid

Sid’s pyro is just awesome. Shawn’s is ok but not as good. There’s a kid dressed as Shawn. Oh yay. Shawn’s stripping thing got old fast. It looks like he’s limping a bit. This was a weird time for him, as he was having great matches but they were just random challenges. His title reign was kind of like Kofi’s US Title reign actually. The standard fast Shawn match starts us out as while Shawn is great, he’s a formula guy at times, which is fine, but predictable.

It’s like seeing a great movie that you’ve seen the ending of. It’s still fun, but it’s not as great as the first time. Sid nips up as well as apparently that’s the move of the night. The announcers talk about Jose Lathario for awhile and Vince is clearly uninterested. Shawn starts working on the knees, which is a very smart move as the announcers agree on. Shawn is actually getting booed here, which is surprising. Shawn reminds me of Edge a bit.

He was the undisputed king of the midcard, but he’s not a great world champion. The fans are really hating this actually. Shawn with a figure four now as they compare Sid to Diesel. They get back up and Shawn hits the post. As he’s getting back up, Ross says the post is still standing but Shawn isn’t. Sid kicks him in the ribs which Vince calls a kick in the teeth. Sid is getting big pops. Is New York completely stoned or something?

His offense is chokeslam, punch, kick, powerbomb. What’s the appeal of that? How in the world would he be main eventing Wrestlemania 13? The fans are booing the heck out of Shawn, which the announcers try to pass off as something Shawn shouldn’t care about. Yes, the announcers say a face shouldn’t care about the fans. We follow that up by JR saying it’s great to get the cheers. This needs to end. This is just run of the mill Shawn stuff here and while it’s good, it’s just not great.

Granted that could be blamed on Sid and his complete suckage. Naturally, Shawn makes a big comeback, culminating in him winning a fist fight and slamming Sid, because that’s really impressive don’t you know. The booing is just funny at this point as he’s the total face and no one likes him at all. Now that this match is getting even more boring, Sid puts on a Cobra Clutch because his epically diverse offense has made him so tired.

Sid hits the chokeslam with one hand which surprises JR despite him doing the same thing to Razor last year. Shawn gets a counter to the powerbomb which I legitimately thought was in slow motion. In a spot that made me smile, Shawn nips up and Sid takes his head off with a clothesline. That was great. Sid grabs a camera, which should be the whole match: random camera shots. It would be more interesting than this.

Shawn is up, but the referee feels the need to look at Shawn for a minute and a half so Sid hits Jose with the camera. Shawn gets the kick, but he goes to check on the old man like a stupid face would. The referee goes down and Shawn hits the floor again as we have no help for the old man that’s clutching his chest.

As I type that, JR mentions he might be having a heart attack. Sid blasts Shawn with the camera, leading to the powerbomb and a new champion. As soon as the three hits, the medics get there for Jose. I love that.

Rating: C-. This was a good match, but dang I didn’t want to finish it. It just had no build to it and the title change made no sense. I get that Shawn wasn’t working as champion…but SID? That’s the best idea they can come up with? SID? I will never cease being amazed by the idiocy of some fans.

They cheered for freaking SID. This just had no interest at all and I don’t think many people would argue with me. Shawn would get the title back at the Rumble but then 3 weeks later lose his smile and forfeit it.

Overall Rating: B-. The opener is good enough, Mankind and Taker is certainly fine but it’s one of their weaker matches, the third match was historic but bad, the fourth is an absolute classic, the fifth is laughably bad, and the main event is just ok.

There’s one truly bad match here, as Rocky vs. HHH is enough to raise up the third match. The worst match is the shortest so that’s always good. Overall, this is another show where the good stuff is good and the bad stuff is bad, but it’s worthwhile overall. It’s far from great, but it’s not bad.

A lot of it drags on and on, but when the good stuff is on screen, it’s some of the best there is. It’s worth a quick look if you’re interested, but the Hart vs. Austin match is absolutely required viewing. It did a lot for both men and set up the mega match in 6 months. Overall, the good outweighs the bad here, so it’s somewhat recommended.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 1996 (2013 Redo): When Shawn Stops And Yells

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 1996
Date: August 18, 1996
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect

Steve Austin vs. Yokozuna

The opening video is about monsters like Vader and Mankind wearing masks but heroes standing up to them no matter what.

Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega

Post match Justin Hawk Bradshaw comes out to lay out Vega once again.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. New Rockers vs. Bodydonnas vs. Godwinns

Rating: D-. This was so boring I could barely keep my eyes open. The tag title scene was so barren at this point that there were practically zero interesting acts at all. That would be the case for over a year when the New Age Outlaws FINALLY brought the division back to life for a few years. Terribly boring match.

Post match Sunny insults the women in the audience and unveils a huge poster of herself to make the arena prettier.

Video on the Summerslam festivities in the city this weekend.

Sycho Sid vs. British Bulldog

The managers keep arguing post match.

Video on Shawn.

Goldust vs. Marc Mero

A clothesline and a backdrop put Goldust down again and a million dollar kneelift does the same. Goldust counters punches in the corner and they both tumble to the floor but Mero slides back in and hits a running flip dive. A slingshot legdrop gets two followed by the debut of the Shooting Star Press, called the Wild Thing. Since this is 1996 WWF, it only gets two. A few seconds later Goldust hits the Curtain Call (reverse forward suplex) for the pin.

Goldust stalks Sable post match until Mero makes the save.

We recap Jake Roberts vs. Jerry Lawler. Jake claimed to have sobered up and was speaking at churches about how Jesus helped him overcome his demons. Lawler claimed that Roberts was a fraud (which was the case in real life as he was still hooked on crack) and tonight is the showdown.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Roberts finally comes out so Lawler pulls a huge bottle of booze from the bag. Jake pulls the snake out of his own bag to scare Lawler to the floor and the bell finally rings. Lawler looks for a microphone but Jake sends him face first into the steps and hammers away back inside. Back to the floor with Lawler being sent into various hard objects until he steals a drink from a fan to blind Jake. Henry: “So what is the fan going to drink?” Lawler gets one of the bottles from ringside but has to block a DDT attempt. Another DDT is countered and Jerry hits him in the throat with the bottle for the pin.

Bob Backlund campaigns for President.

Paul Bearer comes to the ring. The next match will be won by retrieving the Urn from his hands.

Undertaker vs. Mankind

Undertaker comes back with a trashcan lid to the head and they brawl around the room with Mankind in control. The announcers have stopped talking as Mankind stuns Taker across a wooden stand. A stiff right hand puts Taker down and Mankind chokes away. The camera cuts out for a few moments so something can be edited and we come back with a trashcan shot putting Taker down.

With Taker still inside Mankind barricade the door but Taker kicks it in anyway. They fight up the aisle with jobbers watching from the doors. Taker shoves him across the coffee area, allowing Mankind to get ahead a bit. He throws hot coffee onto Undertaker and crawls into the arena to give the fans something to see in person. Taker catches up with him and pounds away but Mankind keeps him out of the ring.

WWF World Title: Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Vader is challenging after pinning Shawn in a six man tag at In Your House #9. He pounds Shawn in the face to start before taking his head off with a clothesline. Shawn catches a big boot and leg sweeps Vader down before hitting a low dropkick to stun Vader. Michaels fires off rights and lefts from his knees and Vader bails to the floor. A HUGE dive takes him down again as the fans are finally waking up a bit.

Shawn agrees to get back in but Vader punches him down on the floor. Cornette pops Shawn in the back with the tennis racket and a belly to belly gets two for Vader. Michaels punches his way out of the powerbomb and hits the forearm/nip-up combo. He tunes up the band but Cornette throws in the racket, only to have Shawn intercept it and blast Vader for the DQ.

Ratings Comparison

Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega

Original: B+

Redo: C

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas vs. New Rockers vs. Godwinns

Original: B-

Redo: D-

British Bulldog vs. Sycho Sid

Original: D

Redo: D+

Marc Mero vs. Goldust

Original: C+

Redo: D

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Original: C-

Redo: D

Mankind vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: B

Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: C

Did I owe this show money a few years ago? My jaw is hanging open as I read these ratings again.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/30/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1996-mick-foley-has-arrived/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 1996 (Original): So Much For A Partnership

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 1996
Date: August 18, 1996
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Mr. Perfect, Jim Ross, Vince McMahon

Well it’s certainly a new era in the WWF. For one thing, Shawn is the undisputed biggest star in the company right now. Bret is on hiatus, and a loud mouthed guy from Texas is flipping people off and cursing a lot. It’s like there’s a growing Attitude or something going on. Eh nothing will ever come of that. I remember this show really well but actually have never seen the main event all the way through.

When I was watching the show live I taped it and for some reason never watched the main event. I guess the tape messed up or something like that, but I’ve never seen all of it so this will be virgin territory for me. This is the night of the first Boiler Room Brawl which is by far and away the most famous match on the show. I have fond memories of this show, so let’s see if they’re justified.

Dark Match: Yokozuna vs. Steve Austin

Austin won the KOTR earlier this year and with his post match promo, instantly became one of the hottest things on the planet. Yoko weight 660 here and would be gone pretty soon. It really is sad to see someone that had undeniable talent reduced to this, simply based on the fact that he couldn’t control his weight. This is a very short match, maybe three minutes or so.

Austin tries to knock him down and can’t, Yoko takes over and goes to the corner, and then in one of the most infamous botches ever, the ring ropes break and Austin just pins him. I’ve never heard anyone say that was planned and based off the announcers’ reactions, it wasn’t planned. Yoko was clearly surprised when that happened, so I’d guess that was all unplanned. Like I said, Austin just kind of rolled him up for the pin afterwards.

Rating: C. This is very hard to grade so we’ll call it average I guess. N/A would probably be a much better grade actually. It’s way too short to tell if it’s good or bad, but it wasn’t terrible and it was on free TV, so how can I complain about bonus not awful wrestling?

We get a very well done intro talking about monsters that wear masks and the heroes that fight them. That’s a really cool idea as both heels wear masks which is a nice connection to make. This was one of the better packages I’ve seen in a long time.

Savio Vega vs. Owen Hart

No real point to this match other than to have a fast opener which there’s nothing wrong with. Apparently both are good with martial arts. I think I missed that memo. Owen has a cast on his hand from an injury that I don’t remember happening. He’s doing the Orton thing as he’s been hurt forever apparently. Cornette isn’t there as he’s with Vader for the main event instead. Savio keeps going for the arm which is very basic yet quite intelligent strategy.

Ross wants to know how Owen passed a pre match physical. Are we supposed to believe that when matches are made on the fly that everyone has pre match physicals? Come on JR give us more credit than that. We go split screen to see Vader warming up for the main event as Vince says that Owen should feel slighted by being ignored by his manager. Why is it that every time someone throws a kick they’re instantly a martial artist?

Anyone else find that to be WAY too broad of a generalization? I certainly do for one. Savio doesn’t seem like much of a martial artist to me and neither does Owen, not in the slightest really. Vince continues to stir the pot saying that Stu isn’t as proud of Owen as of Bret. With talk like that, it’s no wonder he was almost a career heel. Owen has an armbar on Vega for a decent while and he bites Owen to escape. That’s either cool or just freaking stupid and I’m not sure which it is actually.

Clarence Mason, who is the lawyer for Cornette, starts walking towards ringside but no one is sure why. It turns out that he’s more or less staging a coup of Camp Cornette, but that was a bit off in the future. He was worthless to say the least. I’m pleasantly surprised with this match. It’s not mind blowing but it’s certainly not bad at all. I’d even go so far as to say it’s good.

A long match with faster guys is usually an excellent combination. It has one of the critical points that I think makes matches great: I’m not sure who is going to win. That uncertainly factor can work wonders for matches as it gives you a reason to want to see the ending. That’s what makes a match successful or any entertainment for that matter: you want to keep watching it because you’re not sure what’s coming.

They do a belly to back off the top but Savio’s head slams against the cast. Owen plays possum and slams the cast into Vega’s head before putting the Sharpshooter on him. Clarence comes in to celebrate but Owen isn’t sure why he’s there. Not a fan of the ending but this was a good match. On the replay you can see that the referee would have obviously seen the cast shot.

Rating: B+. Like I said I’m not a fan of the ending, but this was a very solid match in my eyes. It was up tempo, there was some storytelling in there, and I wasn’t positive who was going to win. It was a good way to set the tempo for the show and it’s given me high hopes. Based on this match alone, this show is better than last year’s.

Bradshaw comes out and beats up Savio with whom he was feuding with at the tiem in a decent but completely forgotten feud.

Todd goes into the boiler room to talk to Mankind, who says Taker shouldn’t come in here and that he’s ready for battle.

Tag Titles: Smoking Guns vs. New Rockers vs. Godwins vs. Bodydonnas

Again I ask, is it really that hard to get the tag titles on the show? New Rockers are Al Snow and Marty Jannetty, but Snow is known as Leif Cassidy at the time. This has elimination rules which automatically makes it better as it more or less gives you three matches for the price of one. Skip has a neck brace for no apparent reason. Dang the copyright for getting rid of Don’t Go Messin With A Country Boy. JR is given the task of explaining the tag title scene this year. Good luck good sir. You’ll be needing it.

Sunny as a cowgirl is incredibly attractive to say the least. Billy shouts about something unintelligible. She should have been one of the biggest names ever. Not just because of her looks either as she just had a great presence about her. You could see she just knew what to do in front of a camera. That’s a talent that no amount of looks can buy you. Yep, the champions are heels here, I guess along with the Bodydonnas and maybe the Rockers.

This is starting off very slow as would be expected until get the comedy idea of having the Guns fight each other. This lasts about 8 seconds as Zip comes in. He gets tripped and pinned very fast as I think Skip’s neck injury was legit. It seemed way too convenient and pointless to have them out there and eliminated so fast, so I’m assuming his neck really was hurt. I think they were faces or at least tweeners actually, which surprises me. Rockers take over on Hank.

This doesn’t last long as Hank realizes he’s fighting the freaking New Rockers and beats them up with relative ease, pinning one of them after the Slop Drop, bringing it down to the Guns vs. the Godwins. Due to the rules being the way they are, any way this ends means the titles can change hands. Not sure if that makes sense but it’s mid 90s WWF stuff so I’m just going to go with it. Billy just will not shut up and I’m sick of it already.

They beat on Henry for a long time until Billy being the brains of the team sets for a corner splash but screams first, leading to him getting caught. This allows for the lukewarm tag that no one could care less about. Apparently Bill Clinton is turning 50 today.

Hillbilly Jim goes after Sunny which allows for the double team to end the match and the Guns keep the titles. Afterwards Sunny talks about how great she is and offers a gift to the arena unveiling a massive poster of herself, which I’m certainly not complaining about.

Rating: B-. Eh, it was a pretty bland four team match but it let the Guns keep the belts with relative ease and it filled in some time on the card. It wasn’t particularly good, but it certainly did the job it was supposed to: title defense that took up some time and made the champions look good. That’s as good as it can get I guess.

British Bulldog vs. Sid

Not entirely sure why they’re fighting but I think Sid is feuding with all of Camp Cornette at this point. No Cornette with him though as Jim is with Vader. Sid says his usual insane stuff that goes nowhere at all. Again, why was he so freaking popular? Vince thinks Psycho Sid is crazy. Nice one there Vinny Mac.

Vince thinks fans are the same all over the world. Does he sleep through the Canadian shows? After Ross says don’t expect a lot of technical stuff from Sid he breaks out a headlock takeover and various suplexes, the last of which is countered into Davey’s suplex. Clarence Mason comes down to be pointless. Yes we have two big power guys here, laying on the mat with headlocks. I give up.

We see Vader warming up in the back with Cornette. They get it right here for the most part though by showing this while Sid is out on the floor rather than in the middle of action. Powerslam to Sid but Cornette comes out to yell at Mason. A second powerslam is blocked into a chokeslam and powerbomb by Sid to end it.

Rating: D. Boring match that did nothing at all but further the horrible Cornette vs. Mason feud for control over his stable. Once Mason took over the stable died completely. This was just a quick match that had nothing at all going for it and no one cared at all, or at least I didn’t.

Quick video on Shawn.

Goldust vs. Marc Mero

This is stemming from Goldust hitting on Sable a lot in the past few weeks. At least there’s a reason for them to fight. That’s a nice lesson that the writers today need to learn: it’s very possible to have a decent feud with even the most basic of stories. Running in to beat on someone isn’t really a storyline. That’s the common issue that starts “feuds” anymore and that just doesn’t get it done most of the time. Mero says that he’s going to win.

Goldust has been calling Sable mommy or something like that. That was never really explained which I think is the best move. Vince says that Mero and Sable are special people. I’m guessing it means he slept with Sable. JR hints at something called the Wild Thing. It’ll end the match. Naturally in a Goldust match it starts with random stuff from him that inspired the character that is known as KB. I’ve always found Mero to be overrated but he’s doing pretty well here.

Who would have thought that Goldust would still be active 13 years later? Ahmed Johnson, the IC Champion, is out with an injury and they’re not sure what’s going to be done about the belt. It’s vacated very soon if I remember correctly. Correction it was vacated earlier in the week. Mero would win it in a tournament in about a month or so. Goldust takes over for awhile until Mero is beaten down pretty badly.

Mankind comes out for no apparent reason as he and Goldust were working together for no apparent reason. Mero goes into the corner and comes off with a….well he jumped off and…it was kind of like….well he just jumped backwards and hit Goldust. This was of course very risky since it was from Mero. We’re told that Pillman is interviewing Sid on the Superstar line. Have to love that they’ve gotten over Sid nearly killing him in the War Games match in the early 90s.

The fans and commentators are just bored out of their mind but the classic ten punches in the corner gets them going a bit. Mero finally gets in the air a bit and wakes the people up somewhat. After beating Goldust up, they completely screw this up as Mero debuts the Wild Thing, more commonly known as a Shooting Star Press. Now, Mero just debuted a new big move that was clearly a finisher. So the logical thing would be to have him get the pin with it right?

Apparently not as Marlena is on the ropes for all of 5 seconds, which added to the two count is enough for Goldust to kick out. Yeah, that’s great. Let Goldust just kick out of it. If you’re going to do that, have the two count and THEN Marlena up on the apron so the count stops and Mero goes after her. Just don’t kill the move’s credibility that quickly.

They show the double screen of Mero doing and talk about how great it was. Goldust hits the Curtain Call for the pin. I just don’t get that. What’s the point of debuting a huge move like that and have him lose? Goldust tries to kiss Sable but Mero beats him up pretty well for it.

Rating: C+. This just has me shaking my head. It made the Wild Thing look weak here to have Goldust simply kick out of it, as well as just have Goldust beat him clean maybe 90 seconds after it. The wrestling was fine, but I do not get what the point was of the Wild Thing.

Sunny and Farrooq come out, as Sunny’s stable now consists of two cowboys and a black supremacist/gladiator. Does that sound like the beginning of a bad joke to anyone else? Two cowboys, a gladiator and a gold digging woman? His blue helmet just looks so stupid.

He’s out there yelling about not being the IC Champion. To make even more sense, he lost the tournament in the finals to Mero of all people. Simmons desperately needs to get in the Nation of Domination. Sunny says she gets what she wants and she wants the IC Title. Does that mean she’s going to be in the tournament?

We see a recap of Lawler vs. Jake Roberts. Now this was a very interesting and intense albeit short feud. The idea is simple: Roberts is a recovering alcoholic and Lawler is making fun of him for it, even having a big bottle of alcohol in the corner with him for the matches and offering Jake a drink. Lawler, as a heel, has a huge fear of snakes. Some of the this is actually really disturbing as Jake has a bad issue with alcohol, which means I don’t think it should be used as an angle.

Before the match, we’re introduced to the World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry. Oh dear. He comes out to Luger’s music of all things so you know this is going to be bad. He can’t even get the headset on right to do commentary. For a guy like Vince that is obsessed with musclemen, this is just a big orgasm, complete with pyro for Henry.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

He’s been on commentary 10 seconds and I’m already annoyed with him. Lawler has a bag of his own but we don’t see what’s inside yet. He’s also rocking a Baltimore Ravens jersey, which is considered cheap heat but to me that’s just pure awesomeness. For an Indians fan like me, this is just fun. Sandy Alomar is there and he says he’s left tickets for the Modells. He brings Jake’s partners, the Jim Beam twins.

He insults Jake’s wife as Henry is cracking up at the jokes, despite being a face. They point out that Henry was injured in the Olympics, as Lawler says that he’s dumb enough to bronze a gold medal. Henry is just awful on commentary. His comebacks are that of a 6th grader. Lawler is just doing one liners here as is his trademark. I never realized how tall Jake is but he’s about 6’5 which is taller than Orton and HHH.

Harvey Whippleman is the referee so Lawler is the most normal person in the ring. Lawler shows what’s in his bag: a massive bottle of alcohol. Henry shows that he’s a long term heel, saying that he’s afraid of snakes. Roberts wraps Revelations, the big yellow snake, around the King. Wouldn’t that be a foreign object? Ross sounds like he’s giving moral support to Henry which is just stupid sounding. After about 7 minutes of stalling, they finally make contact.

However in this case, I’m ok with the stalling as it makes sense here. Vince talks about how Jake is a veteran. I’d think Lawler has more experience actually. Lawler steals a soda from the floor and throws it at Jake. Henry of course is concerned about the fan’s drinking tonight. My goodness he’s terrible at this. Ross suggests that Henry learn the DDT. Yeah that’s a big negative. Lawler hits Roberts in the throat with a bottle to pin him with the tights.

The ironic part of Perfect being on commentary was that he was a huge alcoholic too. After the match, Lawler pours whiskey down Jake’s throat. He gets another bottle to do the same, but Henry, the face, stops him. This got really quite intense, but it was better in ROH when Raven did it to Punk, with Dreamer’s help.

Rating: C-. This was all about the angle and not about the match at all. The match itself would probably be an F, but the angle is very solid. It’s a real life angle that can actually work out. The sad part was how Roberts fell apart with alcohol and drugs in the future as has been well documented.

Backlund is campaigning to be President.

Recap of Taker vs. Mankind. Nothing here that needs explaining.

Boiler Room Brawl: Mankind vs. Undertaker

The way you win here is to come to the ring and claim the urn from Paul Bearer, who will be standing in the ring for the whole match. This is an odd match as Taker comes into the boiler room and immediately stats looking for Mankind. The big problem at first is you can’t see anything. The lighting is terrible and it’s a lot of lurking in the shadows and stuff, which is fine but not for a wrestling match.

Everything is way too dark to really get anything going. The commentators are talking about how Mankind could be anywhere. Now we get to the weird part: as soon as Mankind sneaks up on Taker and beats him up, we lose commentary. It’s not like the audio dies, but they just stop talking. It’s really weird to have a match like this with no audio at all other than the wrestlers themselves and whatever sounds they make while beating on things.

As for the match itself, it’s mainly the two of them hitting each other with random objects, which is fine as it’s just a big brawl in an odd place but the chemistry they have is perfect with each other, making this very fun. We get random things from the announcers, but it’s like a word between all three of them a minute. I’m assuming there’s closed circuit or something in the arena. The video goes out momentarily too but Vince says they’re sorry for it. Ah there it is.

This is mainly just weapons use, which is ok but can only go on for so long. Mankind launches some steam at Taker, which may or may not have been scalding. The crowd pops huge for Taker getting a pipe to the balls for some reason. This is really starting to show how important commentary is to a match as it would help a lot here. Running knee to the area near Taker’s head into a steel door would hurt horribly I think, if nothing else it would hurt Mankind’s knee.

Taker is getting his head handed to him like never before, which seems to happen in every match he competes in against a big time heel. Mankind’s incoherent babbling is a very nice touch. More technical difficulties as I’m pretty sure the fans are watching on closed circuit as they boo the heck out of it. This is the longest its been out for, although we pop in long enough to see Taker being slammed. We’re back now and Mankind has a ladder.

When I say ladder, I mean an old wooden one, not the kind in ladder matches. Here’s where we get the most seen spot of this match, with Taker pulling Mankind off the ladder and him falling onto a bunch of pipes and pieces of metal and wood. Oh, apparently it was a big box. As Taker goes for the door, a thought occurs to me: when Taker was looking around for Mankind just after coming in, why didn’t he just turn around and leave?

The rules just said once they were both in the first to get to the urn in the ring wins, so why not just turn and run? Probably because it wouldn’t be much of a match if that’s what they did I suppose. Big shot with a fire extinguisher which is always cool. They get through the door which is good as this match was in bad need of a change of venue. Mankind does something very smart and barricades the door. That’s actually a brilliant move when you think about it.

The dumb part comes when he stands there to help barricade it. Isn’t the point of blocking the door to be able to run from it? It’s weird seeing wrestlers standing in the hallway as these two fight. Mankind throws hot coffee on Taker, which could be fake I suppose. After about 20 minutes they’re in the arena. The good part is that it doesn’t feel like this has been going that long, which to me says it hasn’t been boring.

Ah good we have TV monitors there to show the people what was going on during the earlier part of the match. That’s nice of them. They fight even more trying to get into the ring. This is a great touch as it’s just more brawling and I like that after this long there’s no real leader. In a sick looking spot, both are on the apron and Taker slings the ropes back and Mankind slams down on the concrete. Taker gets in the ring and takes the knee, but Bearer won’t give him the urn.

Mankind takes him out with the claw as Bearer is laughing. He slaps Taker as JR screams to stop that. Taker crawls to Paul, reaching up for the urn. Bearer slams him in the head with it and hands Mankind the urn for the win. This was huge at the time as Taker had always had Paul Bearer with him. As they leave, Bearer says he’s Paul Bearer and you’re not. Well I’m glad he can say his own name. Maybe next he’ll know his phone number.

We get a single gong which I thought was a mistake but the lights go out and druids start singing. They head to the ring I guess to help Taker. What was it like when they got to the arena? I’m trying to imagine them asking where their dressing room is. The druids carry him out in more darkness.

Naturally, he’d be back soon but feuding with Vader over the WWF Title #1 contender spot, eventually taking the belt at Mania. This would in turn lead to what was likely the biggest angle of his career, as in less than a year, Bear would mention the name of the man called Kane.

Rating: A-. This was a very good fight. The angle was huge at the end, but I think the brawling in the boiler room went on a bit too long. Coupling that with the lack of commentary and it’s just below a classic. This at the time was one of the most brutal matches ever, but what they would do in the summer of 98 blew this so far out of the water it’s unreal. Still, this was great.

In Your House promo.

Vader and Cornette, who is still a bigger name than Mark Madden as he’s on Summerslam here cutting a promo just before the main event, say that they’re going to beat up Shawn and take the title.

WWF Title: Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Vader had been built up as unstoppable all year and had pinned Shawn the previous month in a 6 man tag. The opening/formula is exactly what you would expect: Shawn starts off hot by throwing all kinds of high risk stuff and punches at Vader and they work for a long while. However, soon Vader takes over after landing a power bomb on the floor. Granted that’s the same move that nearly killed Mick Foley, but we can let that slide I suppose.

Shawn is just getting the tar beaten out of him here so he’s following the Bret Hart formula of start hot, look good getting beaten up, and then make your comeback. Shawn has some mini comebacks and Vader counters with a thumb to the eye. There’s something funny about that to me. Perfect drops the term go home, which means to end the match. That doesn’t happen at the moment of course though as that would just suck for a main event.

Shawn skins the cat which to me is one of the most athletic moves you can do along with the nip up. He gets caught though and Vader just throws him which is a cool looking move. Perfect just hates Shawn to say the least. Shawn keeps trying to come back with punches and clotheslines but they just don’t work. In an odd spot, he slides down to try a sunset flip but Vader puts his foot on Shawn’s chest. Shouldn’t that be a pin since Shawn’s shoulders are down?

He finally takes Vader down with a big clothesline. I think Shawn botches a move as he has Vader down to the elbow but he pulls up and just kind of lands next to Vader on his feet. I think he was trying to make it look like a big stomp but it just missed totally. I wonder why it wasn’t the elbow at that moment. They go to the floor and brawl again, but this time Vader picks up Shawn and drops him over the railing chest/ribs first.

Vader slides into the ring for the count out win. Wait, what the heck? Yes, Vader wins by count out that quick. The female fan at ringside is SCREAMING at Shawn to get up as apparently Becca has made her way to Cleveland. Cornette is ticked off and shouts into the mic that it’s not over yet and demands to keep going. Shawn is called a coward and agrees to keep going of course. Vader beats the tar out of Shawn but a powerbomb is countered by a bunch of punches.

Shawn finally gets the elbow but Cornette throws in the racket. Shawn catches it and beats the heck out of Vader, which is merely Shawn returning the favor for Cornette beating on Shawn earlier in the match. Vader wins by DQ. And so ends Summerslam…again with Shawn leaving to fight another day. Apparently it doesn’t though as Cornette is talking (stop the presses!) again.

Shawn of course accepts one more restart and they’re at it again. Shawn is killing him to start but gets caught. In between the ref goes down and there’s no one to count the pin. Also, Vader gets up from SCM. They set for the Vader Bomb but Shawn moves as the big man goes for the moonsault. He hits a moonsault from the top of his own onto Vader to get the pin. Perfect is ticked off and leaves the announce booth. He comes back all of three seconds later. Shawn poses us out to end the show.

Rating: A-. This was another very good match, but the triple ending just kind of left me scratching my head. It would have been fine had they just done a standard match by giving Vader a ton of time to beat on Shawn, ending with the moonsault to win in. Either way, this was a fine version of David vs. Goliath with Shawn looking like the giant killer at the end of it all to send the fans home happy.

Overall Rating: A. This show was AWESOME. It was the polar opposite of that excuse for a show we had last year. Every match is at least good with some solid angles, brutal matches and good technical stuff. I really liked what I saw here tonight and yes, this certainly lvies up to the hype. It’s certainly in the running for best Summerslam to date and perhaps best ever, but at the moment I’ll have to go with 92 just ahead of it. Still, excellent show and a big recommendation.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XIII (2015): The WWF Title Lives In The Dark Side

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XIII
Date: March 23, 1997
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 18,197
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

Free For All: Billy Gunn vs. Flash Funk

The announcers ignore the match to talk about Austin vs. Hart and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Gunn misses a top rope legdrop, allowing Funk to hit a spinwheel kick for two. Funk gets the same off a top rope victory roll but his moonsault hits knees. Billy comes back with a tornado DDT for the pin at 7:05.

Godwinns vs. New Blackjacks vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon vs. Headbangers

In Your House XIV ad.

Brian Pillman and Sunny tell us to CALL THE HOTLINE!

Intercontinental Title: The Sultan vs. Rocky Maivia

Honky Tonk Man is out on commentary in his quest for a new protege. Rocky is defending (after beating Hunter Hearst Helmsley to win the title a little over a month ago in a big upset) and Sultan is just a Middle Eastern monster played by the future Rikishi and managed by Bob Backlund and the Iron Sheik. Rocky starts fast with some right hands and a dropkick to send Sultan out to the floor.

Post match Sultan, Sheik and Backlund destroy Rocky but his dad Rocky Johnson comes in for the save and house is cleaned.

Ken Shamrock, the former UFC Champion and the guest referee for the submission match, promises to not be intimidated.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust

Tag Team Titles: Mankind/Vader vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog

All villains here. Hart and Bulldog are defending and Mankind and Vader have Paul Bearer in their corner after Bearer turned on Undertaker at Summerslam 1996. The champs have been having issues for months and Owen recently said he was smarter than Bulldog, who is also European Champion, having beaten Owen in a tournament final to become the inaugural champion.

This is one of the greatest stories ever told in wrestling as the details (costing Bret the title, the Royal Rumble etc) are all secondary to the underlying theme: Bret being unable to hold on to the past and not accepting this new reality. Austin embodied the rebellious nature and it made for a perfect dynamic with the traditionalist Bret. As great as the stories were, the matches were even better and made the feud one of the best ever.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

Submission match with Ken Shamrock refereeing. Austin has a famous entrance as a wall of glass saying AUSTIN 3:16 breaks and he walks through the broken pieces. The fans are split here but it seems to be more pro-Bret coming in. They slug it out to start and are on the floor very quickly. Austin is sent face first into the post but he crotches Bret across the barricade and clotheslines him into the crowd.

Bret gets whipped into some hockey boards but he fights back and they head deeper into the fans. A backdrop gets Bret out of a piledriver as you can barely see anything at the moment. Back to ringside with Bret in control and the fans completely into something for the first time all night. Austin reverses a whip to send Bret into the steps but Hart grabs a swinging neckbreaker to get a breather back inside.

Rating: A+. Good grief this match is amazing. This is the match that turned Austin into the biggest star of all time and the moment where the WWF had the Monday Night Wars won. It would take time, but Austin was clearly going to be the hottest thing ever and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it.

Nation of Domination vs. Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson

JC Ice and Wolfie D. take a double Doomsday Device after the match.

In Your House XIV ad.

Shawn Michaels comes out for commentary, taking his sweet time to soak in all the cheers.

WWF World Title: Sycho Sid vs. Undertaker

Undertaker poses to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Headbangers vs. Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFaon vs. New Blackjacks

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D

Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D-

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Vader/Mankind

Original: D+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C-

Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson vs. Nation of Domination

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Sycho Sid

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/20/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-13-hitman-and-austin-thats-it/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/22/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xiii-austins-ascension/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XIII (2013): It’s Still There

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XIII
Date: March 23, 1997
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 18,197
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon vs. Headbangers vs. New Blackjacks

In Your House ad.

CALL THE HOTLINE!!!

Intercontinental Title: Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust

Shawn Michaels tries to figure out AOL.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Mankind/Vader

Hart tries to speed things up and actually takes Vader down with a spinwheel kick. A cross body is easily caught though and a rana is countered into a powerbomb. The idea here is that Vader and Mankind could have problems with Bulldog but they can beat up Owen with relative ease. Vader loads up the Bomb which draws in Bulldog and Mankind. Bulldog clotheslines the monsters down and Owen dropkicks them both down to one up his partner.

Vader runs Bulldog over again but as he goes up, Bulldog flips him over in a kind of release slam. Back to Owen who comes in with a missile dropkick to take Vader back down. A top rope cross body gets two but Vader CRUSHES him with a standing body block. The challengers hit a kind of Demolition Decapitator off the apron to the floor. That move put Rick Martel out for about seven months in 1988 but here it keeps Owen down for about six seconds. Now THAT is toughness.

Mankind refuses to let go of the hold.

We recap Bret vs. Austin which is the real main event of this show. So Bret was all awesome and such but after losing the title at Wrestlemania last year, Bret took six months off to whine. Then he came back and felt that he kept getting screwed over by everyone from Shawn to Austin to Vince (nah that could never happen). Austin was leading the charge of disrespect by saying Bret was just a crybaby anymore. This led to a masterpiece between Austin and Bret that made everyone realize Austin was for real and the next big thing.

Hart barely won but he kept snapping and even hit Pat Patterson, the symbol of respect and tradition. This led to the Royal Rumble where Bret had the match won and eliminated Austin, only to have Austin sneak back in and win the match. A month later Bret won the vacant world title, only to have Austin cost him the belt the next night on Raw. This all led up to here and a submission match with the theme of a submission master vs. a guy that will not quit.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

This is a submission match and Ken Shamrock is guest referee. Austin has actual glass shatter as he enters which is rather cool. He gets cheered but Bret gets something resembling a mixed reaction. Austin tackles him down to start and the fight is on immediately. They head to the floor with neither guy being able to get an advantage. Austin gets posted but he manages to crotch Bret on the barricade. Bret gets clotheslined into the crowd as this is all action so far.

Bret gets in a few shots in the audience and Shamrock is right with them. Presumably this is falls count anywhere. Bret gets in a solid right hand but Austin grabs him for a piledriver. Hart counters with a backdrop and they head back towards the ring. Back to ringside and Bret dives off the barricade with a forearm to the back. Austin comes right back by whipping Hart into the steps to put him down again.

Amazingly enough, Bret vs. Austin was only just beginning. The next five months would be even more insane with perhaps an even better match blowing it off. Now let THAT sink in for a minute. This is still one of the few matches that has an actual impact on me and I get WAY into it every time I see it.

Nation of Domination vs. Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson

WWF World Title: Sycho Sid vs. Undertaker

A big leg gets two for Sid but Taker comes back with the flying clothesline for two. They head to the floor where Sid is thrown over the barricade. That goes nowhere so we head back inside for a horrible chinlock by the champion. Taker fights up and hits a powerslam for two before putting on a nerve hold of his own. A clothesline puts Sid back down for two as Taker is looking tired.

They hit big boots at the same time to put each other down. Sid goes to the middle rope for an ax handle and thankfully keeps his leg intact. A kind of middle rope clothesline/punch to the face gets two for the champion but here comes the Dead Man. Sid slams him down and goes up top, only to be crotched and slammed down. Undertaker hits a top rope clothesline for two more as the match FINALLY picks up a bit. Taker loads up the Tombstone but gets reversed into a tombstone by Sid for two.

Undertaker celebrates for awhile as Shawn sucks up to him.

Ratings Comparison

Headbangers vs. Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFaon vs. New Blackjacks

Original: D+

Redo: C

Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan

Original: D

Redo: D+

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust

Original: D

Redo: C-

Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Vader/Mankind

Original: D+

Redo: B-

Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson vs. Nation of Domination

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Undertaker vs. Sycho Sid

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: D+

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/20/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-13-hitman-and-austin-thats-it/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6