Great American Bash 1999
Date: June 13, 1999
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 11,672
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

To say this show doesn’t sound thrilling is an understatement. We’ve spent weeks getting ready for Nash vs. Savage with antics ranging from makeup to human waste to attempted murder. Other than that we have Rick Steiner no selling against Sting for the TV Title and more of the mess that is the Tag Team Title scene. Let’s get to it.

Master P. and the No Limit Soldiers arrive. Curt Hennig pops up and says how much he loves him and asks how much he loves him. P. signs a CD for him (which one of his guys just had in his pocket) and Hennig breaks it. The Soldiers all start jumping up and down and shoulding what sounds like “Hoody who” in high pitched voices. This is a southern promotion for a show in a southern city and they expect Hennig to be booed here?

The opening recap video shows us a stupid Savage vs. Nash feud.

Tony and the announcers explain who Master P. is and call him the biggest entertainer of our time. We hear about the main event as well.

We recap most of the matches on the card. Well at least it cuts into the main event time. They even go back and cover the hardcore match twice.

Hak vs. Brian Knobs

I sit corrected: this is a kendo stick match and Knobs is officially part of the First Family. So why did he say he had to think about it? Tony calls this a kendo stick hardcore match because they can’t even keep their stupid gimmicks straight through a single entrance. Brian has promised Mrs. Nasty a birthday win today so let’s get rid of the sticks and have a real hardcore match. So in the span of 90 seconds we’ve gone from kendo stick to kendo stick hardcore to hardcore. I know it doesn’t matter but it sounds like WCW has no idea what they’re doing.

Brian wants to throw away the weapons but Jimmy throws him a trashcan for a cheap shot. Knobs hits him in the head with a trashcan lid and there’s the Pit Stop. Hak stops a charge with two boots to the face and blasts Knobs with the trashcan. It’s ladder time but Knobs comes back with a trashcan shot of his own. He gets decked by the ladder though and Hak hits a slingshot….something onto the ladder onto Knobs.

Hak gets thrown into the ladder in the corner and a few more ladder shots put him down. The advantage only lasts a few seconds as you would expect but Hak’s Swanton only hits ladder. Jimmy holds up a chair but Hak sends him face first into the steel, setting up a kendo stick shot for the pin.

Rating: F. We waited thirteen minutes for the matches to start and this is the best they can give us? The only positive about this is the match wasn’t even six minutes long, which is way better than the usual lengths that we have to sit through. It’s still bad though and I’m tired of seeing these disasters.

Hugh Morrus comes out and helps beat down Knobs.

Piper is in the back when Buff comes up to thank him for giving him the ball. He has a big match tonight (against Disco Inferno) and promises to have Piper’s back tonight against Flair. Buff leaves and Piper mutters about stupid kids. Lines like that defeat the purpose of Piper as the mentor to the young guys. He should be thrilled with where the future is going instead of being annoyed with them for saying they’ll have his back. Also, is a match with Disco Inferno “getting the ball” when you had a US Title match last month?

Mikey Whipwreck vs. Van Hammer

Bonus match. Mikey gets shoved down a few times but comes back with some armdrags. Hammer chokes him to take over and drives a knee into Mikey’s ribs. A middle rope slam sends Mikey flying as the fans think this is boring. Hammer gets two off a delayed vertical suplex and a legdrop before we hit the abdominal stretch. Nick Patrick finally catches him holding the ropes so Hammer throws Mikey to the floor. Mikey goes throat first over the barricade but he comes back with a legdrop to the back of the head and a plancha. Back in and Hammer catches him in a spinebuster, setting up a cobra clutch slam for the pin.

Rating: D-. Somehow that was eight and a half minutes long. To recap, we can’t get Booker T. on this show but there’s time for Mikey Whipwreck vs. Van Hammer. Mikey is one of those hires that never made sense. He won like two matches in his six months with the company, even though WCW knew he was banged up when they got him. Eh whatever you can do to screw with ECW I guess.

Disco Inferno vs. Buff Bagwell

In case you didn’t get enough of it on Nitro I guess. They start fast for a change by trading kicks to the ribs until Disco grabs a neckbreaker to send him outside. Back in and Buff kicks him in the ribs a few times, setting up a swinging neckbreaker of his own. Buff cranks on an armbar and starts a DISCO SUCKS chant. An early Blockbuster attempt sends Disco running to the floor and Buff says it was that close.

Back in and Bagwell flips him off (some hero) so Disco nails him with a Stun Gun to take over. Disco chokes on the ropes so Tony congratulates all the recent high school graduates in the country. Ok then. More slow stomping in the corner from Inferno followed by a dancing middle rope elbow for two. Disco goes up for the same spot but Buff moves (that might have been some miscommunication as Tony made a big deal about Bagwell not moving the first time) and starts his comeback.

Some right hands look to set up the Blockbuster but Buff takes too long and gets crotched. They head outside and Disco hits the Last Dance, only to take too long dancing to allow Bagwell to beat the count. Back in and the Macarena Driver (exactly what it sounds like) is countered with a backdrop. Buff hits some really basic stuff and goes up for the Blockbuster. Disco ducks away but Bagwell doesn’t bite and hits the Blockbuster for the pin. Nice little callback there.

Rating: D+. Of all the guys that WCW never pulled the trigger on, Bagwell might surprise me more than anyone else. He was young (29 here), an eight year veteran, had a great look and a good finisher, yet he never won a singles title in WCW. That’s not even factoring in the whole broken neck story. He’s a good example of a guy that could have been something but instead we’re stuck with the Steiners as the midcard champions and Nash vs. Savage for the World Title. Bagwell never would have carried the company or anything, but there’s no reason he couldn’t have gotten the US or TV Titles a few times.

We recap the battle of the musics. Again, WCW was stupid enough to think that the country boys would be the heels in this story.

DJ Ran wastes our time and brings in Master P. and the No Limit Soldiers.

Curt Hennig/Bobby Duncum Jr. vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Konnan

Tenay actually picks rap. We also get the debut of Rap Is Crap as the cowboys’ theme song. I have no idea why A, Mysterio is Cruiserweight Champion is he never defends the thing and B, why he and Konnan come out wearing gas masks. Tenay tries and fails at getting me to care about Master P. The rappers jump Hennig for talking trash about Master P. and the cowboys are quickly dispatched. P. gets in a cheap shot to the back of Curt’s head because that’s what good guys down.

We get down to an actual match with Mysterio dropkicking Hennig to the floor and nailing a plancha but diving into a backbreaker from Duncum. A big powerbomb plants Rey again and Hennig slams him down as well. Rey takes the Bret Hart chest bump into the corner and the cowboys keep things slow. The referee misses the hot tag to Konnan and takes him to the floor, allowing Bobby to send Mysterio hard into the barricade.

Back in and Curt hits a perfect dropkick to Rey’s jaw and spits at Konnan to draw him in. Bobby crotches him against the post and Rey is in big trouble. Hennig does a Rude hip swivel and it’s quickly back to Duncum. Rey crawls through the legs and tags Konnan which the referee sees but “he didn’t see it” so it doesn’t count.

Hennig gets two off a suplex but Rey moonsaults over him and scores with a dropkick. Now the hot tag brings in Konnan as everything breaks down. There’s the Bronco Buster to Curt and he fights with Konnan on the floor. Cue Barry Windham to nail Konnan but Master P.’s bodyguard Swoll jumps the barricade and nails Duncum, setting up a slingshot legdrop for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was pretty dull and the ending was messier than it needed to be. The idea doesn’t work either as the country boys are far more popular with WCW’s fan base but we’re supposed to cheer for rappers who jump up and down and shout HOODY WHO for some reason. But hey, at least Master P. is on the show right?

The cowboys destroy the rappers post match.

The announcers talk about what we just saw and we look at a replay of it to waste even more time.

Cat vs. Scott Norton

Sonny has a briefcase with him. Actually scratch Norton as Horace comes out to complain about getting hit with the crowbar on Thursday. Time for a replacement.

Cat vs. Horace Hogan

Horace says Miller couldn’t even beat himself and the fight is on. Cat gets beaten down in the corner and choked with a boot before they head outside. That goes nowhere so Miller kicks him in the face back inside. Miller slams him down and throws Horace outside for some kicks from Sonny. Back in and Horace hits a slam of his own and drops an elbow for two. A splash gets two more but Sonny gets up on the apron for a distraction. Horace sees through it and backdrops Miller to the floor. In the confusion, Miller gets his sparkly red shoe from the briefcase and kicks Horace senseless for the pin.

Rating: D-. Oh come on man I already had to sit through this on Thunder. Isn’t that enough for WCW? I knew things were going to get bad around this time but no one told me I was going to have to sit through this match twice in four days. Miller needs to turn face soon and Horace needs to turn to another career.

We recap Piper vs. Flair. Piper is old, Flair is crazy (actually just more evil than anything else) and they’re fighting for control of the company.

Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair

Flair has Asya and Arn with him. They trade chops to start and Piper takes over with some lefts to the face. We get a delayed Flair Flop and Ric begs off in the corner. The slowest backslide this side of the last Piper match gets two and Flair gets punched to the floor. Back in and Piper bites Flair’s nose, followed by even more of his weird punches. Ric finally gets in a low blow to get a breather and things slow down even more. Anderson gets in a shot on the floor and Asya adds a rake of the eyes.

There’s another low blow from Flair but a sunset flip sends his trunks down as usual. Ric gets slammed off the top and Piper nails Anderson for bad measure. I can’t say there’s anything good, even a measure, in this match. Back in and Roddy puts on a sleeper but Flair quickly breaks it. Anderson trips up Roddy so Flair can nail Piper with a foreign object. Piper is up at two but there’s the Figure Four. Bagwell comes out to break up Anderson’s interference and goes in, drawing the DQ.

Rating: F. Gah. Seriously just gah. This was another mess with Flair having to work down to Piper’s level and Piper just being awful. I have no idea why WCW insists on keeping Piper out there when the fans don’t care and the stories go on and on. Piper and Flair had a great feud seventeen years ago. We really don’t need to see it again here and this match is good proof of why.

Post match Piper nails Bagwell, making this whole feud TOTALLY POINTLESS. Bagwell gets whipped with a belt for good measure. So yeah, Piper is in league with Flair and Anderson, presumably for daring to challenge the status quo.

DJ Ran. Again.

We recap Sting vs. Rick Steiner who are fighting…..actually I have no idea why they’re fighting. My best guess is Goldberg is out making a movie though.

Sting vs. Rick Steiner

This is hardcore and non-title for no apparent reason. Sting scores with an early clothesline and they head outside to start brawling. That’s a bit too boring though so they head inside where Rick nails some forearms to the back. A pair of atomic drops don’t have much effect on Steiner and they head outside again. Tony says there must be a winner.

Steiner hits Sting with a chair and then a beer. Sting comes back but the Stinger Splash hits the barricade. A piledriver on the exposed concrete gets two and somehow doesn’t break Sting’s neck. Back in and Rick gets two more off a release German suplex, followed by the chinlock. Rick cannonballs down onto Sting’s back and gets two off an elbow drop. Sting finally gets his knees up to crotch Rick and some Vader Bombs actually keep him down.

The top rope splash connects for two and Sting is all fired up. He nails the Stinger Splash and puts on the Deathlock but Rick crawls under the ropes. They fight to the internet location and into the back where Tank Abbot is waiting…..with two dobermans and a rottweiler who attack Sting. They take Sting down as security runs in like a bad shot from an action movie. Rick is declared the winner as the fans just rip this apart.

Rating: F-. Three dogs. Three dogs. THREE DOGS. Next. Please.

The Steiners say Rick pinned Sting off camera because WCW was too scared to air it. They own WCW, Baltimore sucks, etc.

We recap the Triad against Saturn/Benoit. The easiest version: Kanyon was in league with the Jersey boys the whole time but Benoit and Saturn beat Kanyon and Page for the titles on Thunder.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Saturn vs. Kanyon/Diamond Dallas Page

The announcers are joking about pyro after Sting WAS NEARLY MAULED BY DOGS. That’s a long running problem with commentators: they have the attention span of drunken gnats. Someone must get in their ear as they start talking about how terrifying a moment it was but assure us that Sting was dragged away from the dogs. Benoit runs Kanyon over to start and Page isn’t pleased. The champs clear the ring with clotheslines and Benoit stands…..well not very tall actually.

It’s off to Page vs. Saturn with DDP taking a few slams. Everything breaks down again and the champions easily dispatch the Jersey boys. That’s not enough for them though as they go outside to beat up Bigelow before snapping off overhead belly to bellies on Page and Kanyon. Bigelow trips Benoit to the floor and sends him into the barricade to get the first advantage. Kanyon gets two off a middle rope Fameasser and Benoit is in trouble. Back to Page whose powerbomb is countered into a sunset flip but Benoit gets kicked right back down.

The helicopter bomb gets two on Benoit and it’s back to Kanyon, but he misses a moonsault. The hot tag brings in Saturn for a frog splash on Page. Saturn hammers on Page in the corner but Kanyon takes him down with an electric chair faceplant for two. Things settle back down with the challengers hitting a nice sequence into a Russian legsweep from Kanyon and an elbow drop from Page. Saturn grabs a sunset flip but Kanyon tags out on the way down and holds Saturn’s head so Page can come in off the top for the save.

Back to Kanyon for a front facelock into a swinging neckbreaker. A sitout Dominator from Kanyon gives Page two but he misses a charge into the corner. It’s finally enough for the second hot tag to bring in Benoit for some much needed house cleaning. Kanyon takes the Rolling Germans for two but Page makes the save.

We get the old school dragon suplex for a VERY close two and Benoit hits the Swan Dive, only to have Saturn dive into the Diamond Cutter. Cue Dean Malenko to try and help Saturn back in but the distraction lets Bigelow come in to lift Benoit up for a super Diamond Cutter. Kanyon’s unconscious body is put on top for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. I’m so glad they gave us that three day reign before the Triad got the belts back. As usual the (mostly) old guys get the win and the titles while the (mostly) young generation is laid out. In theory this sets up a six man at least which should be good, but knowing WCW it leads to Benoit, Saturn and Malenko jobbing for months.

Dean gets laid out too.

We recap Savage vs. Nash. Savage wanted a title shot so he put lipstick on Nash’s face, called him a stupid person and tried to have him crushed with a Hummer. Don’t you see the logical progression of events?

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Randy Savage

Nash is defending and powers Savage into the corner to start, showing absolutely no injuries from being crushed by a Hummer six days earlier. Wait scratch that as he winces a bit after a clothesline in the corner. The impact is kind of lost though when he picks Savage up for a side slam three seconds later.

Randy starts going after the ribs and knocks Nash to the floor so the girls can get in shots of their own. Back in and Savage drops the big elbow for two. Nash comes back with Snake Eyes followed by a big boot and the strap comes down. The girls all interfere and get dispatched but SID VICIOUS runs in and attacks Nash for the DQ.

Rating: F. The main event of a pay per view didn’t even make it seven and a half minutes. Actually that’s a bit better than the alternative of watching these two fight any longer as it’s clear that Savage has nothing left in the ring. Sid interfering was a big surprise as he hadn’t been seen in a major wrestling company (unless you count ECW) since 1997. Nash not selling the ribs for the opening part of the match brought it down but you can’t expect Nash to sell and toss his hair at the same time.

Overall Rating: F. If I’ve ever seen a less interesting or worse show, I can’t recall it off the top of my head. There was one good match, three matches that should have been on Nitro or Thunder (one of which was) and Sting being attacked by dogs. Say that out loud and see if you think it’s stupid. Couple that with the horrible main event and there isn’t much to feel good about.

The problem here is much more than the wrestling being bad. This show died because there’s nothing interesting going on. Nothing on here makes me want to tune in to see what’s coming. It’s all the old guys dominating and the young guys getting beaten down. In theory that should set up a good story, but I have no faith in WCW to pull that off. Hogan’s return looms over everything too and that might make things even worse. I’m not sure how, but it could. This was one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen and I didn’t see much hope.

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Thunder
Date: June 10, 1999
Location: Onecenter, Syracuse, New York
Commentators: Larry Zbyezko, Mike Tenay

It’s finally the go home show for Great American Bash and things are really falling apart around here. We have Randy Savage trying to kill Nash, Piper not being able to shut up, the old vs. new feud still not being able to get started, and random lucha libre hardcore tag team matches blowing the doors off the place. Let’s get to it.

The announcers talk about Nash (and the still unmentioned cameramen) nearly getting killed on Nitro.

Savage and the girls are in the limo and Randy thinks he sees Nash. He jumps out and beats up a tall guy but it’s Brian Adams. Savage yells at Adams for not being Kevin Nash and Adams isn’t sure what to say.

Video on Rick Steiner vs. Sting. Their match is officially falls count anywhere.

Video on Nash vs. Savage.

Gene brings out Buff Bagwell for a chat. Apparently it’s Buff vs. Disco on Sunday, which is Piper’s way of giving Buff the ball. Bagwell actually thinks for a change and points out how worthless the match is since he already beat Disco on Monday. This brings out Ernest Miller who says he should be getting the ball. Buff says they didn’t give the Cat the ball because he would fumble it. Gene and Sonny Onoo get into it as Buff and Miller make a match for later tonight.

Psychosis/Villano V vs. Konnan/Rey Mysterio Jr.

As Rey and Konnan make their way to the ring, Tenay says Bigelow and Page are still Tag Team Champions as per Ric Flair’s orders. Rey and Psychosis get things going but the masked man has to yell at the fans first. Mysterio finally grabs a headlock but gets shoved away and slapped in the face. They’re firmly in first gear at the moment. Mysterio hiptosses him over but telegraphs a monkey flip and gets caught with a legdrop. Psychosis charges into a boot in the corner and Rey slides between his legs for the hot tag off to Konnan. Everything breaks down and Psychosis takes a Bronco Buster.

We settle back down and Villano crotches Rey on the top rope, setting up a spinwheel kick to the back of the head from Psychosis for two. Mysterio fights both guys off again and makes the second hot tag to Konnan. Everything breaks down again and Rey hurricanranas Psychosis down. Konnan and Psychosis botch the heck out of the X-Factor as Konnan jumped but Psychosis went straight down for an ugly looking crash. Rey hits a springboard hurricanrana for the pin on Psychosis.

Rating: D+. Not terrible but the botch at the end dragged it down and the stalling at the beginning didn’t make things much better. Rey and Konnan had decent chemistry together and made for a good team, even though they’re stuck in a feud with Hennig and Duncum, who aren’t the most interesting guys in the world right now.

Hennig/Duncum vs. Konnan/Mysterio is official for Sunday.

Gene brings out Page and Kanyon for a chat. Page and Okerlund get in an argument over wrestling tradition in Syracuse. Gene doesn’t need to worry about where Bigelow is because any two members of the Jersey Triad can defend the belts whenever they like. Page mentions Flair returning the belts to them and the official rematch is on Sunday. Kanyon: “I got something to say! WHAT HE SAID!” Just setting up another match on Sunday and letting the crowd know what’s going on.

Savage and the girls run into Adams and says they’ll be having a match later. Another segment that didn’t need to air.

We recap Savage and Nash from Monday.

Buff Bagwell vs. The Cat

Disco gets on commentary to complain about Bagwell. Miller hammers and kicks away to start before slamming him down for no cover. Instead he loads up a People’s Elbow but drops a palm strike instead. Buff comes back with the usual generic offense until his ten punches in the corner are broken up by a low blow. Miller chokes a lot and sends Bagwell to the floor so Sonny can do the same.

Back in and we hit the chinlock for a bit before Buff elbows his way up, only to have his eyes raked to put him back down. Miller misses a chop and takes a few atomic drops, followed by Scotty Riggs’ forearm. Come on Buff quit messing with his heart. Sonny slips in the crowbar but Buff takes it away and uses it on Sonny’s ribs, somehow drawing a DQ.

Rating: D. We need to get to the point where Miller almost never wrestles and just talks. Either that or get rid of Sonny Onoo so he can’t bore everyone to death anymore. The ending is another good example of how the DQ is a stupid way to finish a match. Bagwell is supposed to be getting a push, but he can’t isn’t allowed to pin ERNEST MILLER?

Post match Norton runs in and lays out Miller as Disco hits the Last Dance on Buff.

Here are Saturn and Benoit for a chat. Benoit used to have the utmost respect for Flair but now that’s once upon a time. He’s going to get his payback and Flair better be ready. Saturn says they don’t have to like each other but they’ll get the job done. So I guess Raven isn’t a factor anymore? Malenko is seen watching from behind them but leaves when Gene mentions him.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Brian Adams vs. Randy Savage

Savage says this is just a warmup for Sunday, so Adams tells the girls that he’ll show them who the real macho man is a little bit later. Feeling out process to start until the girls offer a distraction to let Savage get in the first shot. Adams comes right back with a backbreaker and some chops before a clothesline puts him outside.

Madusa fires in a kick to the ribs for a distraction as Savage sends him into the steps. Savage walks around the ring for a bit until Adams gorilla presses him onto the barricade. Back in and Savage gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Madusa comes in. This isn’t a DQ for some reason so Adams gorilla presses her, only to get clipped. Vince tries to interfere so Savage hits the banned elbow for the pin.

Rating: D-. Adams’ look of mild annoyance when he was down on the floor told you everything you needed to know here. Savage just does not care at this point and can’t do much besides punches, chokes and the occasional top rope elbow. Naturally Flair banned the move to make Savage even more one dimensional of a wrestler.

The Black and White hits the ring but Savage and the girls easily dispatch them.

TV Title: Fit Finlay vs. Rick Steiner

Rick does his catchphrase to Sting and for some reason the word bite is censored. This could be interesting as Finlay can be just as stiff as Stiner. Finlay starts fast with a pair of atomic drops but Rick doesn’t sell. Shocking indeed. Rick nails his namesake line and chokes a lot before taking it outside for a whip into the barricade. Finlay is sent into the steps and hit low before they go back inside.

The champ gets punched in the face and put in a front facelock until he fights out with knees and right hands. He slaps the referee because Steiner is kind of a jerk and then suplexes Finlay for two. A belly to back suplex puts Rick down and the rolling fireman’s carry gets two. They head back outside with Steiner pulling back the mats for a bulldog on the concrete. This time it’s Finlay’s turn to no sell as he puts Rick in a fireman’s carry and drops him throat first on the barricade. Back in and Rick nails a quick German suplex followed by the top rope bulldog and his arm hold for the submission.

Rating: D+. I’ll give is some points for how hard they were hitting each other but the match was pretty boring otherwise. It’s nice to see someone beat up Steiner like he does to everyone else but you know Rick is getting the huge push no matter how sick people get of him. Somehow this is one of the better Thunder matches in awhile.

Ad for the PPV.

Kevin Nash calls in and says he’s banged up but he’ll be in Baltimore on Sunday. The rumor has been that Scott Hall was driving the Hummer but he hasn’t been able to confirm it. He also wants the elbow drop reinstated so Savage will have no excuses.

Kanyon vs. Perry Saturn

Kanyon bails as Saturn gets in like a true heel should. They circle each other for a bit with Kanyon hiding in the ropes over and over. A right hand sends Kanyon running to the floor but he slides back in as Saturn dives at him. They trade places again and this time Saturn nails the dive before choking with a cable cord. Saturn takes him up the ramp and suplexes him down before sending him face first into the Thunder logo.

After choking gets boring, Saturn just throws Kanyon down to the floor but Kanyon lands on his feet. They get back in the ring where Kanyon gets in a few shots, only to get nailed in the face. More punching ensues with a suplex thrown in for good measure. Kanyon finally crotches him to get a breather and we hit a chinlock. A neckbreaker gets two on Saturn as the announcers WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT SAVAGE AND NASH. Kanyon gets two more off a slingshot elbow and they trade some rollups as the fans chant boring. Seriously? The match isn’t great but you let Savage and Adams get by?

Kanyon scores with a powerbomb and a legdrop between the legs for two more. Saturn pops back up with a superkick and a middle rope cross body for two of his own. An overhead belly to belly sends Kanyon flying and Saturn drops a frog splash but can’t cover. We take a late break and come back with Saturn fighting out of a sleeper. Not that it matters as Page comes in and nails Saturn for the DQ. There were maybe thirty seconds after the break.

Rating: C. The fans need some lessons in interesting wrestling. It’s not a great match but Kanyon jumping over the ropes and Saturn throwing him all over the place are more than enough to make this a decent match. While not shocking, the ending hurts it a good deal as I’d like to see a finish, but for some reason that’s rarely allowed.

Saturn gets double teamed until Benoit comes out. He takes a beating too so the referee makes a Tag Team Title match RIGHT NOW.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Kanyon

Fans are throwing garbage into the ring, including a big tub of popcorn and a bottle of beer. Kanyon grabs the beer for a drink as Page hits a Batista Bomb for two on Saturn. A double suplex gets two and it’s Flatliner time, but Saturn drops to his knees and comes up with a t-bone suplex. The hot tag brings in the Canadian to beat up some Jersey boys, including a great looking release German suplex on Kanyon. Malenko and Anderson come out and yell at each other as Benoit grabs the Crossface on Page. Kanyon makes a save but gets slammed and Swan Dove for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. It was nice while it lasted but the match wasn’t even four minutes long. Of course that’s assuming Flair doesn’t overturn it again or that the titles don’t go back to the Jersey boys on Sunday. Either way, it’s nice for a match to end with a pinfall instead of the far too common DQ.

Overall Rating: D. We’ve reached the point where this is a decent show by WCW standards. I’m really hoping things change after Sunday because this is about as dull and uninteresting of a month as I can remember in a long time. The matches and frequent DQ’s are getting worse and worse, which actually makes me hope Russo’s time is at least more interesting. Yes, I’m looking forward to Russo. That’s how far I’ve fallen.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #191
Date: June 7, 1999
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Eric Bischoff

It’s the go home show for the Great American Bash which hopefully means we’re finally getting some new main stories instead of the drek we’ve been sitting through so far. The big old vs. new story needs to get going and hopefully we can get there after this coming Sunday. Or at least to something other than Nash vs. Savage. Let’s get to it.

We open in the back with Savage and the girls getting out of a white limo. He opens the trunk and gets out a bucket full of some very unpleasant looking stuff. Savage is looking for Nash of course.

Hak vs. Prince Iaukea

Just what I always wanted. Hak smoking a cigarette freaks Tony out. JJ comes out and says they can’t have a match until the cigarette is out. That gets him smoke in the face so Bischoff gets off commentary and gets in the ring. Bischoff gets the same treatment as Dillon so he calls off security and smacks Hak himself as the bell rings. Bischoff says let the match start and the Prince hammers away for one.

A Samoan drop is broken up by a fire extinguisher blast from Chastity and it’s table time. Eric: “Hak can’t throw two punches before he gets winded!” Hak puts Prince on the table for a Swanton but the table doesn’t break. He whips Iaukea into the table in the corner but it STILL doesn’t break so he just covers for the pin.

Morrus and Knobs come in for the beatdown on Hak but Kidman makes the save and goes after Hak until Morrus stomps Kidman down. Brian beats Hak with the stick and everyone brawls around the arena. What a waste of nine minutes.

Nitro Girls.

We look at the septic tank stuff from last week.

DJ Ran.

Bischoff: “The guy under the hood’s initials are VM.” This was the night of the Higher Power reveal. This would be more historic if anyone was watching Nitro at this point.

Master P. might be here later.

Lenny Lane vs. Scotty Riggs

Bischoff spends the intros mocking Sable’s lawsuit against the WWF. I’d be shocked if 2% of the audience had any idea what he’s talking about. Riggs gets annoyed at Lane trying to use his mirror and jumps him, allowing Eric to babble about Paul Orndorff using a mirror. Eric: “Be original.” Lane comes back with right hands in the corner and drops Riggs with a bulldog as Lodi comes down the aisle. Riggs gets taken down by an airplane spin, but it makes Lane so dizzy that he does the Sting fall onto the crotch. Dang it WCW you have to tell me when I’m watching a comedy match.

A hot shot gives Riggs control and he throws Lenny out at Lodi’s feet. Back in and Riggs drives a knee into Lane’s ribs before slapping on a chinlock. Riggs stops to look at the mirror and gets rolled up for two but avoids a dropkick to keep himself in control. He ducks an enziguri but gets caught in a reverse powerbomb of all things for two. I’ve always thought that would be an awesome looking move. Not that it matters as Riggs comes right back with a Fameasser for the pin.

Rating: D+. Scotty Riggs is not interesting, no matter how many times WCW tries to push him on their shows. The narcissistic gimmick has taken him about as far as it can, which should tell you everything you need to know. As for Lenny and Lodi, I know what’s coming, and it’s one of those things that we need to just get through as fast as possible.

Flair is in the back, trying to convince Benoit to be a Horseman again. He’s ready to pass the torch to Chris but Benoit isn’t sure. Flair talks about the feud he and Anderson had a few years back (wasn’t that faked?) and Benoit says he’ll think about it. Saturn comes in and says he and Kanyon want their rematch tonight, but Flair says he was going to give himself and Benoit the shot at the titles. Benoit reluctantly agrees and hugs Flair.

Here are Savage and the girls with the bucket. We’ll ignore his bright pink feathery coat. Savage knows Nash isn’t in the building tonight and issues an open challenge to anyone that is man enough to face him. This brings out Sting who says he’s back in black even though Savage is pretty in pink. The match is on for later, even though Sting says Savage is on Viagra. Savage: “NOW YOU’RE GONNA GET IT!” I really don’t want to see that if I can avoid it.

Nitro Girls

Septic truck stuff again.

Here’s Kevin Nash wheeling a bag to the ring. He says Savage isn’t here yet because he can’t smell Macho yet, if you know what he’s spewing. His gear is in the bag (now sitting in a chair) and he’s heard Savage saying he doesn’t like looking ridiculous, but he still comes out here looking like he does. Fair point actually. If Savage wants him, come get him.

Cue Savage with the bucket and the girls. He says he has a present for Nash because no one has ever treated him like that last week. Savage wants Nash to admit that he’s a monkey who made a mistake and isn’t on his level. Nash: “I only brought one bag down and you brought three.”

Nash bails to the floor and says if Savage wants him, put down the bucket. Macho complies but Nash wants the girls to hold open the ropes. Now he asks Savage to get on his knees and beg, which Savage kind of does. With Savage’s back to the ring, the bag starts to move. A girl gets out of the bag and empties the bucket over Savage’s head. It’s a stupid segment, but well done on the surprise with the bag.

Tag Team Titles: Diamond Dallas Page/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Ric Flair/Chris Benoit

The Jersey boys are defending and Anderson comes out with the challengers. Page and Benoit slug it out to start with the Canadian getting the better of it. He slugs Bigelow to the floor and dives through the ropes to take him down as well. Back in and Flair hammers on Bigelow as well with Benoit snapping Page into the Crossface but it’s right next to the ropes. Off to Flair for the Figure Four and he’s able to avoid a headbutt from Bigelow at the same time.

Everything breaks down with the Horsemen chopping everyone in sight. There’s a low blow to Page and it’s off to Benoit. Page rolls over and tags Bigelow who comes in with some falling headbutts for two. A big suplex gets two on Benoit and Page draws in Flair, allowing the champs to double team. They start going after the knee as Bischoff lists off why he hates Flair and Page. Flair comes in without a tag and slugs it out in the corner with Page but gets dropped with a low blow.

Things settle back down and Page rubs Benoit’s face in the mat. Off to a front facelock as things slow down a bit. Benoit lifts Page up three times in a row but can’t drive him to the corner. A fourth time gets him even closer but Bigelow comes in to block the tag. Bam Bam misses the top rope headbutt and Benoit crawls over…..as Flair walks out. Well of course he does.

Anderson is livid so he takes his shirt off and gets on the apron as a replacement. Bigelow has Benoit in a reverse chinlock as Saturn runs out to get on the apron, kind of making this a handicap match. Benoit dives over and tags in Saturn as house is cleaned. The Death Valley Driver to Page out of nowhere gives Benoit and Saturn the titles.

Rating: C. Of course it’s not going to stand because Benoit and Saturn are young and over but it was a nice moment while it lasted. The match was all about the run-in finish and Flair turning on Benoit after turning towards him about an hour earlier. I can’t stand those kind of stories as they could be stretched out to build up the drama for weeks and instead they do it this fast. Almost every company does it and it gets old fast.

Kanyon runs out post match and nails Saturn with a Flatliner, setting up a three on two beatdown.

DJ Ran.

Ciclope/Damien vs. La Parka/Silver King

Bischoff is off commentary. This is a hardcore match for no apparent reason. It’s a brawl to start with Silver King kicking a chair into Damien’s face. Ciclope nails King with a trashcan and whips La Parka into it for good measure. There’s another can brought in and wrapped around La Parka’s head for Poetry In Motion from Damien. La Parka bails to the floor but gets caught with a baseball slide with a chair to knock him silly. Not that it matters as he picks up a chair and nails a diving Ciclope in the head with the same chair in an awesome visual.

Damien dropkicks La Parka off the chair and goes outside, only to have to throw the chair at a diving Silver King. La Parka puts Damien in the chair and takes him down with another suicide dive before Silver King throws a trashcan out of the ring and over Ciclope’s head. He follows it up with an Asai Moonsault to take everyone out in a cool spot. Damien takes La Parka back inside and takes a chair to the head followed by a trashcan lid for a bonus.

La Parka sets up a chair and tries a superplex on Damien, but has to settle for just throwing him face first onto the chair for two. Ciclope NAILS La Parka with a trashcan lid to break up a top rope hurricanrana attempt, swinging so hard that it flies to the announcers’ table and into Schiavone’s hands.

Ciclope gets backdropped to the floor as Damien is setting up a table. It doesn’t last long though as Silver King tornado DDTs Ciclope through the table for another big crash. Damien’s middle rope hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb through another table for two. Tony: “He kicked out!” Heenan: “WHY???” La Parka sets up two chairs and powerbombs Damien onto them (with the chairs not giving an inch) for the pin.

Rating: B. WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THIS COME FROM??? This was an outstanding brawl with all four guys hitting each other as hard as they could for some awesome bumps and spots. It’s a seven minute match that had me wanting to see more, even though I’m not a fan of most of the guys involved. I have no idea where this came from or why it wasn’t done more often, but it’s worth checking out. Really good stuff.

More DJ Ran as he talks some trash about Hennig.

Norton yells at the Black and White for his loss last week. They don’t have much to say in response.

Here’s the Cat for another of his open challenges. Miller is in full on James Brown mode now, which is a big upgrade for him and his lame karate character. He brags about shaking up the world until he finally gets an opponent.

Cat vs. Horace Hogan

Horace jumps him from behind but Miller comes back with kicks and dancing. A running clothesline in the corner has Cat in trouble again but an Onoo distraction lets him get in a crowbar shot for the pin.

Cat runs from the Black and White post match.

Nitro Girls.

Here’s Roddy Piper with something to say. He sucks up to the Cleveland fans and thinks it’s time we stir things up, which he’ll do by winning control of the company back on Sunday. Unless I missed it, that’s the first time that stipulation has been mentioned. Piper has been hearing a lot of the young kids in the back saying they should be in the main event. Well he’s tired of all the complaining and wants Buff Bagwell out here right now.

Piper asks how many years Bagwell has been wrestling (eight) and if Buff has ever wrestled in Madison Square Garden. Buff says he hasn’t, so Piper calls him Buffy. Bagwell says it’s not 1975 anymore and his name is Buff. He’d do anything to get to the top, so Piper offers him a match with Flair. They shake hands and that’s that.

We go to the parking lot where the girls are in the limo. They try to get Nash to join them for a night on the town. He reluctantly agrees and gets in….as Savage is revealed as the driver. A white Hummer crushes the car. It rams the car a few more times and leaves as we see Nash’s arm sticking out of the window and falling. That’s a nice callback to Nash’s tremendous role in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II of course. We never saw who was driving the Hummer.

Bobby Duncum Jr. vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Why exactly is Rey Cruiserweight Champion again? Mysterio comes out in a gas mask for no apparent reason. Konnan and Hennig are both on commentary though Konnan is at DJ Ran’s booth instead of ringside. Oh this is going to be a long match. Rey gets right in Duncum’s….well chest but it’s as close as he can get. Bobby slams him out of the corner to take over but Rey comes back by just nailing him in the face over and over.

A springboard moonsault gets two and a headscissors sends Bobby out to the floor. Thankfully he’s down long enough for Rey to stop and tie his shoe. Back in and Rey misses a charge into the corner and gets caught in a shoulder breaker for two. Mysterio slips out of a second attempt and dropkicks Duncum into the corner for the Bronco Buster. Rey is in control but Hennig just gets up and nails him for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match didn’t have enough time to go anywhere and the ending was stupid. It didn’t help that Konnan was only on commentary so he couldn’t stop Hennig from interfering, which makes the decision all the stranger. This culture clash feud isn’t bad, but the rappers need a better talker. Or at least one that doesn’t make me want to saw off my ears with a cheese grater.

Tony and Heenan talk seriously about Nash getting crushed. The cameramen in the limo aren’t mentioned even though they’re probably dead too.

DJ Ran AGAIN.

The Steiners come out, say catchphrases, imply that Luger is gone, and say they’re at the top of the food chain. Somehow this takes five minutes.

Recap of the girl in the bag. You really can’t talk about a comedy segment after THREE PEOPLE JUST GOT KILLED IN A CAR CRASH.

Here’s Disco to complain about Bagwell. Buff had the chance to look Piper in the eye and say what he really thought of him but Bagwell didn’t go through with it. “No wonder you got thrown out of the Wolfpac.” Actually didn’t he get thrown out for saying what he really thought of Steiner? Anyway, if Buff is really a man, he’ll come out here right now for a match. Buff comes out and says at least he was in the Wolfpac. You know it’s on now.

Buff Bagwell vs. Disco Inferno

Disco jumps him from behind to start but Bagwell fights back with his wide array of punches, clotheslines and slams. A big slam lets Buff pose but Disco nails a running knee lift of his own, followed by a middle rope elbow for two. We come back from a break with Buff fighting out of a chinlock. He gets dropped with a clothesline but this time avoids the middle rope elbow. Buff makes another comeback and they trade swinging neckbreakers, only to have Buff slam him down and hit the Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here as they try yet again to rebuild Buff. Granted this would be a bit easier if he hadn’t lost in his big showdown with Steiner, but we can’t have something crazy like a Steiner losing a match now can we? Disco is an interesting choice for a soldier in the young man army, but I’m not sure how far he can go.

Nitro Girls.

Randy Savage vs. Sting

Sting charges to the ring and Savage runs off. George jumps on Sting’s back to give Savage a shot and Macho hammers away in the corner to start. They head outside with Sting being dropped throat first across the barricade, allowing Madusa to get in a few kicks. Back in and Savage hammers away even more as he still has his sunglasses on.

More choking and punching ensues before it’s back to the floor to continue the brawling. Sting goes into the barricade again before heading back inside for some powder to his face. Madusa distracts the referee but Miss Madness gets shoved off the top. Savage piledrives the referee as this mess is thrown out.

Rating: F. Sting did not get in a single bit of offense, Savage did nothing but brawl and throw powder, and the girls had too much offense again. The main event scene is getting worse all the time, and somehow we have Savage vs. Nash coming up to keep things as low as they can be.

Sting makes his comeback after having no offense during the match. He stomps on Savage in the corner but Rick Steiner comes out to beat Sting down. Scott Steiner comes out with a belt shot to the face but Luger makes the save with the ball bat to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Some of the wrestling was better tonight, but the stories have gone off a cliff. Stuff like Tank Abbott attacking Sting, Goldberg in general, Piper being fired, Bischoff somehow having authority again and other stuff I’m sure I’ve forgotten are either dropped of just gone with sans explanation. On top of that there’s the old vs. new story, which has been talked about for weeks but somehow hasn’t been started yet. Maybe they’re waiting for the Bash or the night after, but could we get some actual action on it instead of just people saying they’re frustrated?

It’s like this company is being run by different people week to week and no one has told the other what we’re supposed to be seeing. The ideas are the same in general, but no one has ever gone over any details. Either that or no one has any idea how to pace a story. Look at Nash vs. Savage for example. They went from Savage putting makeup on Nash to Nash covering Savage with the stuff in the bucket to ATTEMPTED MURDER in the span of a week. All of this is setting up a match on Sunday where Nash likely won’t even sell these injuries.

Then there’s Bischoff, who can’t shut up long enough to let any points get across. It’s like he’s sitting there trying to riff on the show but no one is getting half the jokes he’s saying. If he wants to make amends, why is he spending two hours a week ripping on most of the talent? The jokes are going over fans’ heads of just confusing them, given how Bischoff doesn’t seem to be on any side. Other than the non-smokers’ side I guess. Bad show here, but check out that hardcore tag match.

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Thunder
Date: June 3, 1999
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

Thing shave to be getting better soon. I mean, I don’t think it’s possible for them to continue being this bad. WCW has been trying this idea of just throwing every boring idea they have out there to bury the good stuff and it’s bombing horribly. The lower card stuff is terribly uninteresting and the main event stuff is awful but there’s a little glimmer in there with all the talent they’ve got. If some of that got a better focus, there’s serious potential in there. Let’s get to it.

The announcers do their intro and the fans want Goldberg. You’ll have to wait until production wraps people.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Scotty Riggs

Before we have the match, Riggs has the referee hold the mirror for him. Bigelow, mentioned as a Tag Team Champion but sans belt, hammers away in the corner. Riggs escapes a slam and dropkicks Bigelow into the corner for ten punches, followed by another dropkick and choking. The big man takes him down with a drop toehold of all things and headbutts the leg before going to a chinlock.

Riggs tries to fight back but gets dropped by a knee to the ribs. They head outside with Bam Bam working on the chest and sending Riggs into the barricade. Back in and Bigelow drops a headbutt for two but gets rolled up for the same. Bigelow takes Riggs’ head off with clotheslines but charges into a boot in the corner, followed by a Fameasser for another near fall. Riggs goes up and dives into a punch, setting up Greetings From Asbury Park for the pin.

Rating: C-. Shockingly competitive match here as a new champion had to rbeak a bit of a sweat to beat a narcissistic….Riggs is a heel right? He has a heel character but he was wrestling like a face here. The match wasn’t bad for an opener and it actually entertained me instead of making me look for a pillow and blanket.

We look back at Bigelow and Page winning the Tag Team Titles on Monday. Shouldn’t that have aired before the match?

Clip of Brian Knobs attacking Hak on Monday.

Hugh Morrus vs. Kidman

Morrus hammers away to start but gets caught by a headscissors. A hurricanrana and dropkick put Hugh outside and Kidman nails a nice plancha. Jimmy Hart tries to get in a cheap shot and is stared away in fear. Back in and Hart interferes again to let Morrus take over as the power game begins.

Morrus hammers away on him in the corner and gorilla presses him down for two. He sends Kidman into the corner for a running splash but misses another charge, allowing Kidman to hit a missle dropkick. Morrus comes right back by clotheslining Kidman out to the floor. Back in and Kidman avoids the top rope elbow, setting up a Bodog out of the corner for two. Morrus’ powerbomb is of course countered but Brian Knobs runs out to break up the Shooting Star for the DQ.

Rating: D. Much more basic match here as we’re now using Kidman to push the First Family. Again, we have an example of a guy that could have moved up the card being used to push more dead end older characters that aren’t going to go anywhere but for some reason keep getting the push over someone like Kidman.

Post match the First Family destroys Kidman until Hak makes the save….and beats Kidman down as well. That’s what you get for tearing the house down with Mysterio and Guerrera for months.

Brian Adams vs. Buff Bagwell

Adams, ever the gentleman, offers a handshake but gets posed at instead. Buff hammers away in the corner and they trade atomic drops with Adams’ having no effect for some reason. An armdrag and dropkick send Brian to the floor and us to a commercial. Back with Buff fighting out of a bearhug but walking into a belly to belly suplex. We break away from that to listen to some words of wisdom from Vince. A backbreaker gets two on Buff and Adams throws out him out to the floor. Vince gets in a few more shots because he can talk trash and forearm people in the back.

Back in and Buff avoids a knee drop to start his comeback with the usual stuff: clothesline, neckbreaker, cross body, strut. The referee gets bumped so Vince brings in a chair (he can do THREE things!) and accidentally hits Adams (I didn’t say he could do them well). The referee wakes up to count the pin but says it was two, even though he slapped the mat three times and Buff’s music played. We keep going with Adams nailing a big boot and sending Buff to the floor for a beating from Vince. Bagwell dispatches him pretty easily of course and the Blockbuster gets the pin.

Rating: D. Too long here and the ending made me say “great. We get to keep going.” Adams really isn’t all that good other than being a generic power guy and there are tons of them in WCW. The match went on longer than it should have and Bagwell really doesn’t look all that special from beating up Vince and Adams.

We see Savage vs. the fake Nash from Monday.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Recap of Scott Norton vs. Ernest Miller.

Scott Norton vs. Silver King

I don’t see this ending well. King tries to come in with a missile dropkick but it just bounces off of Norton’s chest. The pain begins with Norton just toying with King, blasting him with a hard clothesline and even harder chops in the corner. A pair of headbutts put him down again but Norton finally misses a charge. Silver King’s moonsault press has the same effect as the dropkick and it’s another clothesline followed by the powerbomb to complete the squash.

Rating: D+. See, this is the Scott Norton I could get behind. He was never going to be a big deal in WCW but you could make him look like a monster for someone to beat in a big win. Maybe throw him into the midcard title scene if those belts weren’t locked up by the Steiners for whatever reason.

Recap of rap vs. country.

Curt Hennig vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

If Hennig tries this could be awesome. He jumps Mysterio during his entrance and sends him face first into the buckle. Rey comes back by sending Hennig head first into the mat and nails a quick springboard legdrop to send Curt outside. Back in and Curt snaps Rey throat first across the top rope and hits a quick atomic drop to seen Mysterio throat first into the buckle. They head right back outside with Mysterio being thrown into the barricade and dropped throat first onto the barricade as we take a break.

After we look at ads for WCW Magazine, we come back with Mysterio headscissoring Hennig down and going after his knee. He dropkicks it down and hammers away in the corner until Curt rakes the eyes. Hennig drops some elbows to the chest and face, followed by the Hennig Neck Snap for two.

We even get a Rick Rude hip swivel as a nice tribute before Curt scores with a dropkick. Back up and Rey goes to the knee again, setting up a split legged moonsault out of the corner for two. Curt counters a standing Lionsault but gets sent chest first into the buckle. It’s right back to the knee to set up a springboard seated senton for two, followed by a low dropkick to the face. There’s the Bronco Buster but Bobby Duncum comes out and breaks it up for the DQ. So Konnan will stop cowboys from beating up his friends but not hardcore freaks?

Rating: C+. Yeah it was good but of course it had to end in a DQ because Heaven forbid we get a pin in anything but a squash. Mysterio looked good out there and the knee work was a nice running idea throughout the match. These two getting PPV time and a finish could be great stuff.

The cowboys double team Mysterio until Kidman and Konnan make the save.

We see the septic tank stuff with Nash and Savage from Nitro.

Chris Benoit vs. Ric Flair

Think this is going to be better? Asya is the only second in the entire match. Ric takes him into the corner to start and they trade some chops until the referee breaks it up. It’s Benoit taking over with more shots in the corner to send Flair out the floor and up the aisle. Back in and Benoit takes him to the mat and puts on a Figure Four to check off a spot on the Flair Bingo card. Ric realizes he’s about six inches from the ropes and the hold is broken.

Flair begs off but gets beaten up in the corner even more. Naitch finally goes to the eyes to get a breather and stomps away on the ropes. Asya plays old school JJ Dillon by getting in some shots but unfortunately doesn’t take off her shoe. Benoit comes back with a bunch of right hands in the corner and a backdrop to put him down again. The veteran begs off and trips Chris up for a rollup with feet on the ropes in the corner for two.

They fight outside for some Canadian chops before Benoit takes him back inside for a snap suplex. Both guys ram heads to put each other down. It’s Benoit up first with a sleeper until Ric counters, only to be sent face first into the buckle again. Chris gets two off an O’Connor Roll and fires off even more chops.

Flair kicks him in the face and tries the Figure Four but gets rolled up for another two. Ric gets in a knee crusher though and now the Figure Four goes on. The hold is turned over and Benoit makes the ropes before nailing an enziguri to put both guys down again. Back up and Benoit nails his running clothesline but Bigelow and Page break up the Swan Dive for the DQ.

Rating: B-. The intensity here alone makes it a better match but it’s not quite a great match. Benoit looked more than capable of hanging in a main event match and should be ready to move up the card. It’s a good match but we’re reaching the point where you know someone is going to run in and that’s ruining a lot of entertaining matches.

Benoit takes an elevated Diamond Cutter and isn’t saved to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The main event brings this up a lot and it’s certainly one of the better ones, but the DQ’s need to stop. They keep doing the same thing over and over to protect people for the big matches, but then the same thing happens in the big pay per view matches. At least it was better than some of the more recent shows, even though it still wasn’t anything great.

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Monday Nitro #190
Date: May 31, 1999
Location: Astrodome, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’re two weeks away from the Great American Bash and the main event is still dominating the card. Thankfully we’re getting some development on the rest of the card and hopefully the rise of Benoit and Malenko up the card as the new young stars of the company. Well Malenko is pushing 40 at this point so he can only be so young but you get the idea. Let’s get to it.

We open with Raven arriving at the arena but getting attacked by Bigelow and Page in the parking lot. They throw him into a dumpster and slam the lid on his head.

Recap of last week with Piper beating up Flair and the Horsemen turning on their leader.

We see Tank Abbott getting into it with Rick Steiner on Thunder.

The announcers do their thing.

DJ Ran.

Here’s Eddie Guerrero for the first time this year after a horrible car wreck. The announcers welcome him back and show us some photos of Eddie’s totaled car. Eddie lists off his injuries and hopes to be back soon. He’ll be doing some commentary to start things off.

Hak vs. Kidman

Hak has to lose the weapons to start and Kidman actually tries to make it a wrestling match. I can’t imagine it staying that way but it’s nice to pretend for a bit. They stay on the mat for a bit with Kidman holding a headscissors…and now let’s hear from Tank Abbott and his goons about how being in a cage is hardcore. He has history being in a cage you see, and he’s going to referee the TV Title match tonight.

We cut back to the match with Kidman taking over again with a dropkick. Chastity gets on the apron with a chair, allowing Hak to send Kidman face first into the steel. It’s weapons time now as I guess this was a hardcore match the whole time. Kidman is whipped into the ladder but avoids a Swanton through the table. He loads up the Shooting Star but here’s Hugh Morrus to shove him off, somehow drawing a no contest in a hardcore match.

Rating: D. There was some decent wrestling to start but then we went to the hardcore stuff and a Tank Abbott promo because we can’t do that at some other point. I don’t know why they insist on wasting Kidman on something like this when he’s capable of having good matches with any talented guy you throw at him.

Brian Knobs comes out to beat up Hak.

Flair is in his office and orders eight women to his room tonight. JJ Dillon says Savage’s elbow is officially banned. So what else can he actually do?

Clip of Steiner and Abbott on Thunder.

Eddie thanks the fans and Bischoff for believing in him.

Here are Bigelow and Page with something to say. Page rips on the fans and says he knew it was wrong to put Hogan out with a knee injury. He tried to apologize but last week Hogan knocked him out with a crutch as he was leaving. Bigelow and Page threaten to put Hogan on the permanent injured list before turning their attention to Raven and Saturn. They took the trash out earlier and now don’t want to wait for the Great American Bash for their title shot.

Kanyon is going to take Raven’s place in the Tag Team Title match tonight.

DJ Ran doesn’t like Curt Hennig not liking hip hop. Oh geez they’re going to have him advance stories now?

Curt Hennig comes out to the commentary desk and insists that rap is crap. Hennig likes country music better and is going to go sing a country song at DJ Ran’s booth. Bobby Duncum Jr. comes out to sing with Curt and they belt out Blame It On Texas. It’s not really singing as much as it is rhythmic talking but they’re trying. Konnan and Mysterio come out in their Astros jerseys for the save. A tag match is made for later.

We look at Hennig and Konnan brawling last week. Wouldn’t this fit better before the previous segment?

Van Hammer vs. Evan Karagias

Evan gets hammered on to start and is quickly put in a Tree of Woe. He avoids a charge though and grabs a headlock, only to be shoved away and shouldered down. A headscissors takes Hammer over but he counters another attempt with a hot shot. Hammer plants him with a backbreaker and Vader clothesline for two before putting on an abdominal stretch. Evan actually hiptosses the big guy over, only to get caught in a delayed vertical suplex. Hammer gets taken down again and a high cross body gets two, but he grabs the cobra clutch slam for a quick pin.

Rating: D. Hammer really needs something besides the cobra clutch slam. That’s a move that almost anyone could do and while it’s decent for a power guy, he needs to do something that looks a lot more devastating. Or we could just not have Hammer on TV and see how well that works for us.

Here’s Piper to say God bless America and talk about the Horsemen breaking up last week. He calls Flair a gelding and asks Malenko to come out here for a chat. Piper praises Dean as the best cruiserweight of all time but Dean doesn’t say anything. He takes the mic and says that Flair walked out on the Horsemen and last week was just them responding.

This brings out Flair and Anderson but Dean cuts them off and says the Horsemen weren’t supposed to be about feeding Flair’s ego. WCW needs to be about passing the torch and letting the younger guys get their chance on top. Flair says he hasn’t met anyone worth passing the torch to yet. Dean goes to Arn and says last week he promised to have Arn’s back anywhere, but that was last week. Piper and Flair get in a fight and Flair runs away. Natrually that’s the focus instead of Anderson and Malenko because it’s Flair and Piper.

Nitro Girls.

Eric Bischoff joins commentary for no apparent reason.

Konnan/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Curt Hennig/Bobby Duncum Jr.

So much for Rey defending against Kidman, at least for now it seems. Konnan and Rey wear what appear to be prison uniforms. The cowboys try to sing a little bit but get dropkicked in the back to start fast. Mysterio dropkicks Curt’s leg and shouts WEST SIDE on the middle rope. Hennig and Duncum are knocked out to the floor for a breather as Bischoff praises Rey. Back in and Hennig nails Mysterio in the ribs with a right hand before it’s off to Duncum for a shoulder breaker.

Back to Hennig who whips Rey across for the Bret Hart chest first bump to the buckle. The cowboys keep up the fast tagging with Bobby throwing Mysterio around like a rag doll. Mysterio nails a quick dropkick to Hennig and slides between Curt’s legs for the hot tag to Konnan and a genuine eruption from the crowd. There’s the Tequila Sunrise on Hennig but Duncum breaks it up with the cowbell for the DQ.

Rating: D+. It’s another culture clash feud but at least most of the guys in it are worth watching. Duncum had potential to be good but the cowboy thing was only going to take him so far at this point. It’s not a bad match but I groaned at the cowbell ending. WCW was so obsessed with getting rid of the southern identity but they have that around?

Konnan gets hogtied post match.

Here’s Savage on his own with something to say. He talks about Nash being on his way to the arena when Madusa comes out to say Nash is here. Savage calls Nash out for later in another segment that didn’t need to be in the arena.

Page and Bigelow are in the back, standing over an unconscious Kanyon.

David Flair vs. Erik Watts

Holy sweet mother of goodness they can’t be serious. Bischoff just buries both guys, saying Erik got his push because of his dad and that David absolutely sucks. Well he had to be right at some point. He even says that his son would have a winning record if he was in charge. There were warning signs of Garrett Bischoff coming and no one stopped him??? Erik hammers away to start and clotheslines Flair out to the floor. He rams David into the buckle a few times and yells at Papa Flair.

David manages to avoid a dropkick and tries the Figure Four, only to get kicked out to the floor. A suplex brings him back in for two and Watts starts picking him up every time. David is tortured with a Rock Bottom, pumphandle slam and chinlock slam. He loads up another Rock Bottom but Anderson sneaks in for a spinebuster to give David the pin.

Rating: N/A. I can’t rate this because I can’t help but laugh. This is the kind of match that you see on lists of the worst possible matches you could imagine. Like, you say this as a joke instead of something that could actually happen. That’s what we’re dealing with here because WCW actually did it. Raw could be airing a midget Brawl For All against this and it might not be as stupid an idea.

Video on Nash vs. Savage.

Buff tells Flair he wants Savage again tonight but is given a suitable replacement: Bobby Eaton. Buff: “Does he even work here anymore?” Either way, Bagwell promises to hurt him tonight.

Ernest Miller comes out to call out Norton for a fight. Well at least that’s what I think he’s saying as Bischoff keeps talking about how the company in New York is beating them right now and he’s partially to blame. Anyway here’s Norton and we get a bell.

The Cat vs. Scott Norton

Norton immediately nails Cat with a headbutt and knocks him for a loop. He hammers away in the corner as we see the Black and White laughing in the locker room. With Cat down in the corner, Sonny slips him a crowbar to knock Norton silly for the surprise pin.

The Black and White runs out of the locker room.

Here are Savage and the girls again because we haven’t seen enough of them. Well ok that’s true in George’s case. Nothing is said before Nash’s music comes on and here’s…..a tall guy in drag wearing a replica belt. Savage says this is a match so we get a bell, allowing Savage and the girls to get in shots, such as a top rope hurricanrana from Miss Madness and a middle rope elbow from George. Savage drops the banned top rope elbow for a pin before celebrating with the belt. Again, is there a point to this or are we supposed to draw our own conclusions? For some reason Bischoff thinks Miss Madness is a man.

Nitro Girls.

Recap of Bagwell beating Savage by DQ on Thunder. That would be the second time Bagwell beat Savage by DQ on Thunder.

Buff Bagwell vs. Bobby Eaton

For some reason Bischoff goes on a rant about how worthless Jesse Ventura was on commentary. Eaton hammers away to start and goes after Bagwell’s face, only to get monkey flipped and dropkicked to slow him down. Two boots in the corner stop a charging Eaton and a clothesline drops him for two. Buff misses a charge and falls to the floor before taking a swinging neckbreaker in the ring. Bischoff keeps up his tirade by ripping on Bagwell for no apparent reason before switching over to Konnan. Buff comes back with a suplex and hiptoss followed by the Blockbuster for the pin.

We look at Raven getting taken out earlier.

Tag Team Titles: Saturn vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Diamond Dallas Page

Bischoff calls Page one of the biggest mistake he’s made in WCW. Saturn grabs a mic and says he’ll keep the titles by himself tonight. Page calls Saturn stupider than he looks. Bigelow gets things going for the only team in the match and shoves Saturn down with ease. A shoulder block does the same as Bischoff hypes up Tank being in the cage tonight. Saturn comes back with a springboard cross body to Bigelow and a belly to belly to Page. Some clotheslines put the challengers on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Bigelow getting in a knee from the apron, allowing Page to clothesline Saturn down to take over. It’s back to Bigelow for a falling headbutt and a two count before the discus lariat gets two for Page. A Batista Bomb gets two more and things slow down a bit. Page comes back in with a top rope clothesline for another two and we hit the chinlock.

Bam Bam comes in off the top but misses the swan dive. Saturn superkicks both guys down and sends the challengers into each other. The Death Valley Driver gets two on Page and there’s one for Bigelow as well. Cue Kanyon to stand in the wrong corner and get the hot tag, but Page hits him once for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. Well it’s clear that something is coming with the booking but again with the young and talented teams losing the belts so fast. Did they really have to change the titles in just a few weeks? They couldn’t have waited for the pay per view? Page and Bigelow aren’t even an interesting team as they’re just two guys from Jersey. You wouldn’t see Norton and Hennig as a team because they’re both from Minnesota would you? At least the match was decent though.

Savage and the girls are trying to leave in the limo but it’s blocked by a septic truck. You can see it coming from here. Nash is driving, gets out, puts a hose in the sunroof and the villains gets sprayed. Nash says something about this portion of Nitro has been brought to you by Septic Services, for all your savage septic needs. Ok funny line.

DJ Ran.

The cage is lowered.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Sting

In a cage with a roof, Steiner defending and Tank Abbott as the guest referee. Sting sends Rick head first into the cage to start and stomps away with Steiner not all that interested in selling tonight. The champ comes back with a low blow and hard right hands followed by an elbow drop. A dropkick sends Rick through the ropes and Sting rakes his face on the cage before hitting a Stinger Splash, driving Steiner against the steel.

Rick comes right back with a suplex and a ram into the cage of his own. We hit the chinlock as Tank just kind of walks around and doesn’t do anything of note. Sting fights up again and nails another dropkick as there isn’t a lot of energy for this match. Some clotheslines look to set up a splash but Rick raises his knees.

Sting slips off Steiner’s shoulders but can’t get a backslide. Instead he tries a very modified Gory Stretch, only to have Rick get to the cage to escape. Sting sends him into the corner for the Splash but Abbott pulls Steiner out of the way. Rick tapes Sting to the ropes as Tank leaves, meaning in two weeks, they’ve now ended a cage match and a battle royal in no contests.

Rating: D-. Holy sweet Christmas they’ve managed to screw up a cage match. For one thing, it’s WAY too early in this feud for a big gimmick match. On top of that, the match lasted less than eight minutes and was there to push Tank Abbott than for the match itself. The fact that it’s Rick Steiner refusing to sell ANYTHING makes sitting through this even worse. Horrible match here and even worse storytelling and decision making.

Abbott and his goons walk out to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. So let me get this straight: we had two and a half hours of Bischoff’s out there commentary, Tank Abbott screwing over Sting for a no contest in a cage match, a no contest in a hardcore match, Curt Hennig singing, more Flair vs. Piper and one of the worst possible matches in the history of wrestling. I know I’ve said this before, but it can’t possibly get any worse than this.

Now to be fair there’s some decent stuff in here, such as the Tag Team Title match and most of the Horsemen segment, but the bad just cripples anything the good can do for the show. The big story needs to actually go somewhere and that doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon. It’s far more old vs. old with talk of the old vs. new not going anywhere. There’s still time, but we need to get there and actually fire up the company a bit.

Thunder
Date: May 27, 1999
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

Believe it or not things are looking up just a bit in WCW. The most recent Nitro was just a disaster instead of the worst show ever. There is an interesting story coming up with the old guard not being happy with the lack of respect they’ve been getting from the younger crowd, which led to Benoit and Malenko turning on Flair earlier this week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of Savage’s recent path of destruction, even though his girls have done most of the work.

The announcers do their thing. It’s Sting vs. Rick Steiner in a cage on Nitro.

Lash Leroux vs. Kaz Hayashi

Leroux takes him down to start and works on the arm before putting Kaz on the mat again with an armdrag. Back up and Kaz offers a handshake, only to kick Leroux in the ribs instead. A dropkick puts Leroux down again but he avoids a spinwheel kick, only to get caught in a backslide for two. Things slow down a bit as Kaz gets into kick and chop mode before dropping an elbow.

We cut to the back to see Savage and the girls because this is his company now. Savage is looking for Bagwell but beats up Disco Inferno and Scotty Riggs instead. Back to the match happening in the background, Leroux hammers away in the corner with right hands. We get more kicks from Kaz because he’s from Japan, meaning he only knows how to kick you see. He mixes things up by going to the eyes, only to have the fans chant that both guys suck.

Leroux comes back with some very basic offense before a kind of sitout Dominator for two. The Whiplash is countered and Kaz kicks him in the ribs again, followed by a quick hurricanrana. Lash crotches him on top but gets shoved right down, only to dropkick a diving Hayashi out of the air. Now it’s Lash going up but getting superplexed down, setting up a top rope senton splash to give Kaz the pin.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but the Savage thing put a big halt in the middle of it. These are the kind of guys that WCW could use to help flesh out the cruiserweight division a bit and thankfully they were able to have a match without Hugh Morrus interfering and eliminating them both. This is what Thunder should be about: showcasing guys that don’t get time on Nitro.

Van Hammer vs. Prince Iaukea

Time for more of Hammer’s latest push that won’t go anywhere. Iaukea tries to speed things up to start and actually hits an enziguri to stagger the big man before dropping him with a springboard dropkick. Not that it matters as Hammer kicks Iaukea’s head off to put him on the floor. The beating continues outside until Hammer launches him back inside. We cut to UFC fighter Tank Abbott in the front row. UFC wasn’t a huge thing yet as they had only had nineteen shows at this point. Abbott had fought for them as recently as October 1998.

Iaukea gets sent into the apron a few times and goes head first into the steps. Back in and we hit the bearug for a bit with Iaukea saving himself using the power of a hard head. He tries to slam Hammer and gets crushed for two for his efforts. Iaukea goes back up and gets crotched, setting up a superplex (same sequence from the first match) followed by the cobra clutch slam for the pin.

Rating: D. When I was talking about showcasing talent that doesn’t get the spotlight on Nitro, I meant guys that you would want to see getting spotlight like that. Instead here we had two guys who either aren’t interesting or haven’t been interesting in years. Thankfully it was a pretty short match but anytime Iaukea is out there it gets painful.

Video on Nash vs. Savage.

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Video from Nitro of Savage attacking Nash and lipsticking him.

Gene brings out Savage and the girls for a chat. Savage thinks Nash fears him, that Bagwell disrespected him, and that he’ll take the title at the Bash. The girls all think Savage rocks and that’s about it. This really didn’t need to be an in ring segment.

The Cat vs. Vampiro

This is the result of an open challenge after Cat ripped on Scott Norton, calling him Yogi Bearer for some reason. Sonny Onoo offers Vampiro money to leave, allowing Miller to get in some cheap shots from behind. Vampiro comes back with kicks to the ribs and ducks a kick that winds up hitting Sonny. More shots to the face have Miller in trouble but he nails Vampiro low to escape. It doesn’t seem to have a long lasting effect though as Vampiro keeps kicking and nails a Rock Bottom. Onoo knees him in the back though and Miller finishes Vampiro quick with the Feliner.

Benoit goes into Flair’s office to yell at him but Page jumps Chris from behind and beats him down.

Here’s Brian Knobs with something to say. He brags about being hardcore and all that jazz until Jimmy Hart interrupts. Jimmy says he managed Brian in the past and wants him back for the First Family. Brian isn’t sure but will think about it.

Clip from Nitro of Flair and Piper fighting.

Clip from Nitro of Hennig and Konnan fighting.

Konnan vs. Kenny Kaos

We get a bunch of catchphrases from Konnan followed by him praising all of his friends. Feeling out process to start until Kaos’ wristlock is countered with an armdrag. Kaos drops him again with a a clothesline and elbow before we hit the way too early chinlock. Back up and Konnan hits his wrap around bulldog and the low dropkick followed by some right hands in the corner.

A few clotheslines and a suplex get two on Konnan and we hit another chinlock. Kaos shouts at the crowd a lot and gets caught in a DDT for a quick two. We get the usual from Konnan but he charges into a powerslam. Kaos goes up, misses a guillotine legdrop and gets caught in the Tequila Sunrise for the submission.

Rating: D. Gah these matches can be dull. Kaos is a guy that doesn’t have anything going for him and Konnan is suddenly all cool with Nash again despite having issues with him just a few months back. This was just wrestling to fill in space on a card which can be the least interesting things imaginable when there’s no motivation.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Video on Nash.

Lenny Lane vs. Evan Karagias

Evan hammers away to start and grabs a hammerlock before dropkicking him down. A clothesline puts Lane on the floor and here’s Lodi to watch they match. Lane sends Evan into the apron and then the steps before they head back inside for an elbow from Lenny. He sees Lodi and….doesn’t seem to mind. Evan jumps over him in the corner and drives in ten right hands. A springboard clothesline gets two on Lenny but he grabs an airplane spin of all things.

Evan gets dropped with a gutbuster as Lodi seems very pleased. Back up and Karagias gets two off a cross body. Lodi: “Looking really, really good.” Evan pops back to his feet and floats around into a faceplant. A cross body gets a delayed two but Lane gets Karagias onto his shoulders for an electric chair slam for two. Not that it matters as Evan slams him down and hits a corkscrew splash for the pin.

Rating: D+. This could have been worse and was somehow a breath of fresh air after all of the boring stuff we’ve sat through for the last hour or so. That being said, I have a bad feeling about where the Lodi stuff is going as it’s likely going to be yet another big embarrassment for the company.

From Nitro: Piper yells about Flair a lot.

Video on Sting/Luger vs. the Steiners.

Gene talks to Tank Abbott at ringside and Tank doesn’t seem to be all that happy with what he’s seen so far. This hardcore division is a joke and the wrestlers all look pathetic. Gene says there’s going to be a “shoot” cage match on Monday between Sting and Rick Steiner, which Tank of course laughs off. This brings out Rick Steiner to yell, start a fight, and get pulled away. He wants Abbott to come to Nitro as Tank is taken out by security.

Recap of Flair giving the Jersey boys the Tag Team Title shot and the Horsemen quitting as a result.

Chris Benoit vs. Diamond Dallas Page

This has potential. Benoit comes out to what used to be Dean’s theme for some reason. They immediately slug it out to start and Benoit has him in the Crossface fifteen seconds in. Page gets to the ropes and bails to the floor, only to have Chris take him out with a dive. He sends Page head first into the post but walks into a knee back inside. A belly to back suplex puts the Canadian down but Benoit just chops him into the corner and stomps him in the chest.

Page gets back up and counters a whip with an elbow to the jaw to put both guys down. They roll outside with Page being sent into various steel objects, only to send Benoit into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Benoit catching Page coming in but his right hands in the corner are countered with a low blow and hot shot. A stomping puts Benoit on the floor before a big gutbuster has him in trouble back inside.

Benoit gets tied up in the Tree of Woe for another stomping. We hit the chinlock, complete with something like a chinlock slam for two. Off to a sleeper on Benoit but he jawbreaks his way to freedom. Some running right hands put Page down and a bridging German suplex gets two. That’s not enough for Benoit so he rolls some more Germans until Page breaks it up with a low blow. A big sitout powerbomb gives Page a near fall but Benoit counters the Cutter and puts on the Crossface in the middle of the ring. Since we can’t have someone lose clean around here though, Bigelow runs out for the DQ.

Rating: B-. This took its time to get going but once they got to the trading big moves section, they really started to cook. The ending was inevitable though as they couldn’t put Benoit over because Page has a title shot coming up and you don’t want to put Page over because Benoit is coming off a big turn. Good match though and a nice pick up after the bad show so far.

Flair, Bigelow and Page beat down Benoit and no one makes the save.

Another video on Nash vs. Savage.

Randy Savage vs. Buff Bagwell

After some jawing from both guys and a few Nash insults from Savage, the girls shove Bagwell to give Macho the early advantage. Savage busts out a wide variety of choking before taking it outside to drop Buff’s throat on the barricade. Back in and Miss Madness nails a top rope missile dropkick to prove her worth. Savage ties Bagwell in the Tree of Woe before choking even more. Off to a neck hold as Patrick yells at two of the girls, allowing George to use her shoe on Buff’s throat. Savage yells at Patrick so he actually gets a chair to defend himself. That’s fine with Randy, who takes the chair away and nails Buff for the DQ.

Rating: D. If this is supposed to get Bagwell over, they’re doing a horrible job of going about it. This was a total squash until Bagwell won on a DQ due to stealing a referee’s weapon. Again, the girls help him out WAY too much as well, even though in this case he could have won on his own pretty easily.

Overall Rating: D. Somehow this was an upgrade over some of the recent shows. Above all else, there was nowhere near as much talking on this show. That being said, it meant that we had a lot more time for wrestling, and that has rarely been Thunder’s strong point. The Benoit vs. Page match was good and a very nice break from the norm, but this old vs. new thing has a big hole to dig them out of.

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Monday Nitro #189
Date: May 24, 1999
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

The big story tonight is the return of Hulk Hogan, which somehow sounds like a breath of fresh air. Randy Savage has been pushed as a killing machine because he wants the title, but he’s gone back and forth on being good or evil in the last few weeks. He helped the heel Page keep the title for reasons that aren’t clear, then he feuded with Flair as a face, and then just started going after Nash without ever having a big evil moment. Either way he’s dragging the company through the floor, but to be fair almost everyone else is too. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory Of graphic for Owen Hart and a three bell salute.

We recap the Steiners becoming the super evil brothers and squaring off with Sting and Luger last week.

Recap of the main points of last week’s show and Thunder with Savage beating up five guys on his own.

Bigelow is yelling at Raven and Saturn and reminds them about getting a partner. DDP runs up with a 2×4 and the champions get beaten down. Old guys over young guys again.

Nitro Girls.

Tony says his thoughts and prayers are with the Hart Family.

Van Hammer vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Both guys are already in the ring so I don’t see this lasting long. Hammer is now just a basic big man and looks a bit like a biker. He throws Chavo around to start hammers away in the corner. A big boot drops Chavo but he comes back with a dropkick and drop toehold. That earns Chavo a press slam but he slips down the back into a sunset flip for two. A suplex and legdrop get the same for Hammer but Chavo escapes the cobra clutch slam. Chavo tries a Thesz press and gets caught in a bearhug, followed by the Flashback (Alabama Slam) for the pin. Total squash.

Video on Randy Savage.

DJ Ran.

Gene brings out a banged up Disco Inferno who is wearing sunglasses to cover up a black eye. He didn’t care for Savage’s “traveling show of pimps and ho’s” attacking him on Thursday and says he can get Savage in touch with Nash. Savage has been going after the young talent in the company and thinks it’s because Randy is afraid of them.

This brings out Ernest Miller of all people to dance and tell Disco to be a man. Disco wants Cat out of his face (would he prefer DJ Ran all up in his area?) and the fight is on. Nick Patrick comes out but is quickly knocked to the floor so I don’t think this is a match. Miller goes after the eye with a show and other referees come down to get Disco out. We cut to the Black and White locker room for the “Miller is talking about you” bit with Norton, because that’s still a thing. Norton chases Miller off.

Mike Tenay goes into Flair’s office.

Video on Nash.

Flair and Anderson are with El Dandy and offer to elevate his status for a loss to David tonight. Buddy Lee Parker comes in and asks for the office and secretary he was promised. Instead he’s given a Gold’s Gym membership and an offer to fight Benoit tonight. Parker takes it and says he won’t lay down again.

Gene brings out Mike Tenay who has an update on the Randy Savage situation: he’s getting the World Title shot at Great American Bash. Ric Flair storms out and talks to a woman in the audience, saying her mom rode Space Mountain twenty years ago and maybe she’ll get to tonight. As for business, Savage has injured Charles Robinson and Flair is thinking about banning the top rope elbow as punishment. He’s the ONLY man in WCW with power so Bischoff and Piper can tell their stories walking. Now it’s time to make some future stars. Flair loses his voice while saying this, maybe realizing how bogus what he’s saying is.

El Dandy vs. David Flair

During the entrances, Tony announces that the Tonight Show match has been canceled, meaning Nash may be here tonight. Dandy gets taken down by a shoulder and clothesline as David can barely even run the ropes properly. He avoids a dropkick though and backdrops Dandy with ease. A nice looking suplex gets two but Dandy smacks him in the face. Anderson sneaks in for a spinebuster, setting up the Figure Four for the win. Again, it really doesn’t look like the guys are throwing the matches, making this story a bit confusing.

Gene brings out Buff Bagwell who agrees that Savage is scared of the younger guys. Savage can come after him anytime, but tonight it’s about getting the TV Title. I could get behind a young vs. old story.

Here’s a five minute package on Eric Bischoff’s rise to power in WCW and joining the NWO. We’re nearly halfway through this show and have seen two matches but we have time for a guy who presumably has no power.

Battle Royal

Ciclope, Kaz Hayashi, Prince Iaukea, Johnny Swinger, Juventud Guerrera, Villano V, Damien, Kidman, Psychosis, Lash Leroux, Blitzkreig, Evan Karagias

The winner gets a shot at Rey next week. Juvy falls down on the way to the ring. I guess he tried to watch the show and started falling asleep. It’s a huge brawl to start with everyone sending everyone else to the ropes for attempted eliminations. Damien slams Blitzkrieg and Villano gets knocked down by something the camera misses. Iaukea works on Kidman near the ropes as Leroux is almost put on by Psychosis.

Ciclope gets taken down but not out by a top rope hurricanrana. Blitzkrieg takes Leroux out with a hurricanrana of his own but falls outside for a double elimination. Good timing too as the ring was too full. They keep slugging it out on the floor as Kidman clotheslines Iaukea out. Since this is WCW though, here’s Hugh Morrus to come in and destroy everyone in sight. Everyone jumps on him but he’s able to throw out Damien, Swinger, Psychosis, Ciclope, Kaz and Evan.

That leaves Juvy and Kidman in the ring, because Heaven forbid anyone other than those two get pushed against Mysterio. Kidman goes after Morrus as Juvy bails, but for once Morrus is able to powerbomb Kidman in half. No Laughing Matter cruses him again and Morrus goes up for a second, but Rey runs out and dropkicks Morrus to the floor. There’s no bell, but since Kidman is the only guy left in I’m assuming he wins. Either that or WCW just managed to have a battle royal end in a no contest.

Rating: F. For failure because there’s no other word to describe it. The cruiserweight division is a disaster right now as no one but Juvy, Rey and Kidman are consistently pushed and now Hugh Morrus, a jobber to the stars, beats up about six guys with ease before another runs away from him? On top of that, we’re now heading towards Kidman vs. Mysterio AGAIN? Assuming Rey even has a challenger that is. What a mess.

Here’s Piper to really get things going. We get some standard cheap heat with mentions of the local baseball team and Piper saying he’s had about fifty fights in this town and two or three of them were in the ring. Piper doesn’t care for Bischoff’s apologies but his real issue is with Randy Savage. Well of course it is. He lays down on the mat and calls out Savage but gets the girls instead.

Piper asks Miss Madness how she won the title before asking George where Savage is. She says he’s being honored and Piper makes Slim Jim jokes. He yells at all of them until Flair comes out for a save, earning him a beating. This brings out Page and Bigelow to lay out Piper for some reason. Page says Flair owes him, so Flair gives him a Tag Team Title shot at Great American Bash. Ric also makes another match between him and Piper for the show because….oh you know the drill by now.

Benoit and Malenko are in the back watching what just happened. Dean wants to know where their title shot is and thinks you have to be over 45 to get a push around here. Dean Malenko: wrestling’s smartest man. Benoit thinks Flair is for Flair and Dean says every man is for himself. That might do it for the Horsemen.

Video on Luger and Sting’s history together, going back a long way.

Piper is getting his ribs taped up and says he wants Flair/Page/Bigelow vs. himself and two partners. Gee I wonder who they’ll be.

Tony says WCW is partnering with Tommy Boy Records to merge wrestling and music. They’re about fifteen years too late but that’s WCW for you.

Curt Hennig comes out and tells Tony to turn him on. His headset you see. Curt doesn’t like rap music but did like beating up Konnan recently.

Video on a Tommy Boy Records wrestling themed party.

Chris Benoit vs. Buddy Lee Parker

Hennig is still on commentary and talks about how young guys like Benoit aren’t respecting the veterans that came before them. A black arm band can be seen on Chris’ arm for Owen. Parker actually gets in a few shots in the corner to start and I don’t see him getting in much more offense.

As you would expect, he charges into a boot in the corner and gets caught in the Rolling Germans. Benoit chops the fire out of him in the corner before hitting a quick belly to back suplex. Parker comes back with a powerslam, only to get drop toeholded into the middle turnbuckle. The Swan Dive sets up the Crossface and Parker taps very quickly.

Rating: D+. It’s always fun to see Benoit run someone over like this. Parker was older than dirt at this point and had been getting beaten up for years now. That’s probably why he was such a jerk down in the Power Plant. The match was just there for Benoit to show how awesome he was, because somehow that wasn’t an established fact to the WCW brass at this point.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Buff Bagwell

Before the match we get a chat from the Steiners. Scott rips on WCW, saying they suck with Heenan saying “good point.” After bragging about the Red and Black, we get a perfect Scott line as he calls himself the US Champion and Rick the United States Television Champion. Bagwell charges the rings and hammers away at both Steiners, actually knocking Scott out to the floor. A quick dropkick puts Rick down but he starts going after Buff’s neck to take over. He ties Buff in the Tree of Woe so Scott can choke away from the floor.

Bagwell comes right back with a neckbreaker of his own, only to have Scott trip him from the floor. Scott gets in a few shots and Rick knocks Bagwell out to the floor with a Steiner Line. The brothers pull the mats back and Rick actually piledrives Buff on the floor. Things are about to get even worse with Scott holding Buff’s neck across the barricade as Rick goes up top…..and we’ve got a Sting monster truck in the aisle. Lex Luger, in a Sting mask for some reason, is driving. We cut back to the ring and Sting is there with his bat as we go to a break.

Rating: D. ANOTHER match ends in a DQ or a no contest because Heaven forbid anyone have to job around here. At least the stuff with Rick was short, though I’m still waiting on Goldberg to come back and fight the Steiners for what happened to him at Slamboree. Instead we’re getting Sting and Luger teaming up until Luger turns heel again and starts yet another feud between them.

Hennig is still on commentary and ripping on rap, so here’s Konnan to start a fight. They brawl into the ring with Konnan beating the tar out of Curt.

Mike Tenay is in the ring and calls out Jimmy Hart and Curt Hennig. Jimmy wants Mysterio out here right now to explain what happened earlier. Morrus complains about the same guys having the same matches for four years now and he wanted to mix it up a bit. Again, they need to stop saying things that the critics are saying. Rey starts brawling with Morrus and uses his usual springboard based offense until Jimmy trips him up. Hugh crushes him in the corner and plants him with a huge powerbomb. They get a chair but Konnan and Kidman come in for the save.

Here’s Hollywood Hogan for his big return from knee surgery. He’s still in a big knee brace and on crutches but is being all heelish anyway. Hogan praises Nash because they’re both part of the Pack and says he’s coming for Page. We get a reference to Raw, called the XXX Wrestling on the other channel. Hogan is the master of politics and has seen the people talking in the back, so he’ll return soon brother.

Nash comes out for a chat because Heaven forbid we get another match. After sucking up to the crowd ala Piper, he gets to the point of Savage running around like a crazy man after the World Title. Nash isn’t hard to find: he’ll be the guy with the big gold belt for a long time to come. This brings out the girls again with George’s leg hurt again. Why she’s wearing high heels while on crutches isn’t clear but at least she looks good.

Nash talks to George, saying he’s seen her wrestle but he’s rather see her box. The girls go after him and break a crutch over Nash’s back but it doesn’t seem to have much effect. Savage coming out and nailing him with the belt does have an effect though. We get the lipstick on the face thing again which is still kind of stupid.

Roddy Piper/???/??? vs. Ric Flair/Diamond Dallas Page/Bam Bam Bigelow

After a break, Malenko (in street clothes) and Benoit come out be Piper’s partners. Piper has his ribs taped up from the attack earlier and thankfully is sporting a black armband of his own. Unless I missed it, that’s the second of the entire show. Page and Malenko get things going but Dean wants Flair instead. Once Flair is in, Benoit wants to fight instead. They take turns chopping each other’s chests off until Benoit backdrops him down.

Benoit cleans house and clotheslines Bigelow out to the floor as everything breaks down. Flair finally gets back in and backs into his own corner, which Heenan calls a bad neighborhood. A thumb to the eye and chop put Benoit down and the Jersey boys come in to take over. Bigelow headbutts him down for two before Flair comes in for a low blow. Page has to break up a backslide but Bigelow misses the top rope headbutt. The hot tag brings in Piper and here are Raven and Saturn to go after the Jersey guys for the DQ.

Rating: D. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY STOP WITH THE FREAKING DQ ENDINGS! You can’t get a clean ending to any main event match around here and I’m getting sick of it. Also, why in the world did we need Piper out there? To give former World Tag Team Champions credibility? Heaven forbid Piper isn’t around every two seconds to make things feel big.

It’s a huge brawl post match with the good guys getting the better of it. Piper puts Flair in the Figure Four as Benoit stomps on him. Ric bails and we cut to the back where Hogan is standing over a fallen Page to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh sweet goodness this got old in a hurry. There were FIVE matches in three hours. Think about that for a minute. Nothing broke ten minutes and they can only give us five matches, one being a battle royal that ended in a no contest? Obviously there were major outside circumstances to it, but the ratings results for this night: Nitro’s 3.1 losing to WWF’s 7.2. Nitro hadn’t been that low for a regular show in over two years and Raw only topped that once in the entirety of the Monday Night Wars. This was a disaster for Nitro and a sign that things had to change.

Luckily for them, there actually was a glimmer of hope here. This idea of old vs. new, albeit the same thing they did with WCW vs. the NWO three years ago, has something to it as you can see the battle lines being drawn. Unfortunately some of those lines are just Piper’s wrinkles BECAUSE HE WON’T JUST GO AWAY, but there’s something there. Granted I have have no confidence in WCW because the old guys won’t lose once in awhile but it’s better than nothing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: May 20, 1999
Location: Kansas Coliseum, Wichita, Kansas
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay

After a week off for the NBA Playoffs, we’re back for a show taped before the latest Nitro, meaning we’re not likely to get any storyline developments here. The main story is the start of Savage vs. Nash for the title and the ongoing drama around who is in charge. One question to tie the stories together: if Bischoff didn’t have the power to overturn the ending of Piper vs. Flair, why did he have the power to restart Page vs. Nash? Let’s get to it.

We open with Gene bringing out Buff Bagwell for a chat. After some sucking up to the Kansas crowd, Buff says Scott turning on him wasn’t a surprise but Rick was. There’s no loyalty in the NWO, though I’m not sure there’s even an NWO anymore. Buff randomly challenges Randy Savage for a fight later on so that’s likely the main event.

Clips from the main events at Slamboree.

Clips of the Steiners teaming up again at Slamboree.

Clips of Booker T. calling out Scott and getting beaten down off camera from Nitro.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Scott Putski

Rick is defending in case you weren’t paying attention and comes out in a Red and Black shirt. He hammers on Putski to start and drops an elbow before already putting on a chinlock. Seriously. Steiner drops some forearms to the head as Tenay incorrectly says Steiner won the TV Title at Starrcade 1989.

More pummeling ensues as Rick puts him upside down stomach first into the top turnbuckle for two. Choking and some face rubs into the mat set up elbow drops for two, which just seems to tick Steiner off. Putski’s comeback goes as badly as you would expect and he gets dropped by a knee. The Steiner Bulldog and a weird looking arm lock retain the title.

Rating: D-. Of all the things WCW did badly over this year, putting Rick Steiner in this spot for so long might be the worst. He wasn’t over, he hadn’t meant anything without his brother in about nine years, and his matches looked to be bordering on dangerous rather than just stuff. Look at the roster that could use the TV Title and see how stupid it is to keep it on Rick Steiner this long.

Flair and the Horsemen convince Barry Horowitz to lay down for David Flair tonight.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Kidman

The fans are behind Kidman here even though Guerrera slaps hands on the way to the ring. We immediately get the focus off the match as Tenay tells us that Hogan will be back on Monday. Must be time to panic about the ratings. They lock up to start and Juvy heads to the corner to dance a bit. Juvy gets shoved down again and walks into a dropkick as they’re taking their time to start. Kidman’s German suplex is escaped with a backflip and Juvy kicks him in the face to block a backdrop.

We finally start getting some high flying in with Juvy going up but getting crotched, sending him down to the floor. Kidman nails him with a plancha and we take a break. Back with Kidman slamming him down and putting on a chinlock for a bit before Juvy nails a bulldog and talks a lot of trash. Some right hands in the corner stagger Kidman but he powerbombs Juvy down to escape. Not that it matters as Kidman misses something like a Stinger Splash and falls out to the floor. The announcers’ response? To talk more about Hart vs. Nash on the Tonight Show.

Back in and Kidman counters a powerbomb in the sequence that won’t die but can’t follow up. Juvy heads up top and dives onto Kidman’s raised boots. They trade suplex counters until Juvy headscissors Kidman out to the floor for another plancha. Back in and Kidman dropkicks him out of the air for two two.

Juvy knocks him off the top but gets crotched and superplexed for his efforts as this is finally hitting a higher gear. In a nice bit of poetic justice, Kidman’s powerbomb is countered into a sunset flip for two and a missile dropkick gets the same. The BK Bomb gets the same before Juvy loads up the Juvy Driver, only to get rolled up for a quick pin.

Rating: C-. The problem here is that we’ve seen these guys blow the roof off the place so many times that there’s almost no way they can top it. It wasn’t a bad match but it’s been done so many times that it’s hard to care. Still though, not bad and I have a feeling it’s going to be the best thing on the show.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysteiro Jr. vs. Kaz Hayashi

Mysterio is defending of course. Kaz takes him into the corner to start and slaps him in the face to tick the champion off a bit. A hard elbow to the head puts Rey down and Kaz slaps him a little more. Hayashi rakes the eyes and hooks a bulldog but misses a charge into the corner. The champ takes him down with a headscissors, only to get dropped throat first onto the top rope.

With Mysterio down, we get an OH YEAH as Savage and the girls come out for some reason. He welcomes us to the house of madness and says Mysterio is a fine wrestler. Buff may be the stuff but Rey is the man, despite being caught in a reverse chinlock at the moment. Savage keeps praising Mysterio and brings up Rey beating Kevin Nash before offering Rey a spot on Team Madness.

As he says this, Rey’s hurricanrana attempt is countered into a powerbomb. Savage: “HE’S FANTASTIC!” Miss Madness 1999 (called Mona here) says Mysterio is their man and we take a break. Back with Mysterio getting a pin off a top rope hurricanrana. It’s the only move we saw after the break.

Rating: D+. I was tempted to not rate this as a big chunk of the match was spent looking at Savage and the girls. Apparently just taking over Nitro and boring me to death there wasn’t enough for Savage as he’s now taking over title matches. Hayashi was dominating Rey for the most part here as the champ only hit a few moves of his own. What we saw wasn’t bad but there wasn’t much to see.

Post match Savage offers Rey the spot on the team again and says all four members have already voted yes. Mysterio says he’s honored but has other plans for himself. Savage: “OUCH!” He offers again and gets the same response so Savage nails him in the back of the head. Rey actually fights back with a springboard missile dropkick but the girls get in a few shots, setitng up a piledriver from Savage. Kidman comes out for a save and has the same luck. Now Konnan tries Savage but gets hit low, allowing Savage to slam him down and drop the big elbow.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

We see clips of the almost show saving Tag Team Title match from Monday.

Tag Team Titles: Raven/Saturn vs. Horace/Vince

Raven and Horace brawl before the bell but Saturn breaks it up with a superkick. Saturn cranks on Vince’s arm as we get the opening bell, followed by an easy suplex for two. Raven comes in for the mock Total Elimination and a front suplex into a swan dive from Saturn. Off to Horace as Kanyon has replaced Raven on the apron. I guess we’ve got a Freebird Rule now. Anyway Horace misses a charge and gets forearmed in the jaw. Kanyon comes in for a swinging neckbreaker and it’s already back to Saturn. Well they’re faster than the Freebirds at least.

A double sidekick puts Horace down again but Vince earns his pay with a shot from the apron. Saturn gets beaten for a few moments as Raven switches back with Kanyon. Horace gets in a few shots such as a clothesline and elbow drop followed by a backrake. And yet he still puts in more effort than his uncle. Vince comes back in with a top rope ax handle and a wide variety of fists before it’s back to Horace for another clothesline.

Saturn is sent outside for some cheap shots as this just keeps going. Back in and Horace puts on a sleeper but Saturn reverses into one of his own. Horace breaks it up and the double tag brings in Raven and Vince. There’s the drop toehold onto the chair followed by some heel miscommunication, setting up the Death Valley Driver to pin Vincent.

Rating: D. You know, I can live with bad matches and stupid segments, but these matches that are just borderline ok and go on for what seems like ever are almost impossible to take. We know it’s going to be a squash with the champs barely breaking a sweat, so why in the world do I have to sit through eight minutes of Horace and Vince boring everyone to tears? At least get someone out there who could have a decent match.

Clips of the Hart vs. Nash Tonight Show stuff. Owen’s accident derailed whatever plans they had for this.

We see part of Parker vs. Flair from Monday.

David Flair vs. Barry Horowitz

After a handshake, Barry pats himself on the back and we’re ready to go. He takes David down and we’ve got Horsemen. Some very basic offense has David reeling but the Horsemen get on the apron to remind Barry of the deal. Horowitz chokes in the corner but misses a knee drop, allowing David to hook the Figure Four for the win. So wait, did Barry miss on purpose or did David just avoid a move and capitalize for the win? The same thing happened in the Parker match: he was supposed to be throwing the match but didn’t show any signs of doing so. Again, WCW can’t even keep its own stories straight.

Another side note: Charles Robinson was fine here but the announcers talked about Savage injuring him on Nitro. Since this was taped in advance, Robinson was in perfect health, making WCW look confused again.

Clips of Savage challenging Nash from Nitro.

Main event fireworks.

Curt Hennig vs. Disco Inferno

Hennig takes him into the corner to start and runs him over with a shoulder followed by a dropkick. Back to the corner for some chops from Curt but Disco hiptosses him down. Curt hammers away again and here come Savage and the girls because it’s been thirty minutes since we saw them. Disco goes after him for no apparent reason and the match is thrown out.

The girls help take Disco down and peel back the mats so Savage can rub his face in the concrete. Buff comes out for the save and it’s main event time.

Buff Bagwell vs. Randy Savage

Bagwell hammers away to start and actually does pretty well, nailing ten right hands in the corner, an elbow to the jaw and a dropkick for two. He kicks Savage in the face and puts on a chinlock but gets sent to the floor to stop him cold. Back in and Bagwell gets two more off a small package but gets nailed by an ax handle. They trade elbows until Madusa slaps Buff from the apron (referee? What referee?), which is enough of a distraction for Savage to send him outside. Savage chokes on the barricade and with a chair, finally drawing a DQ.

Rating: D. For DEAR GOODNESS ENOUGH RANDY SAVAGE! The match was just there for Savage to beat up someone else on his path of boring to the World Title match at Great American Bash. Buff was trying but his push was crippled by the loss to Steiner at the pay per view. There’s just nothing there now.

Savage nails Buff in the neck with a chair until security comes out to end the show.

Rating: F. In the span of two hours, Randy Savage beat up the greatest cruiserweight of all time, one of the biggest starts in Mexican wrestling history, a multiple time Cruiserweight Champion, a former TV Champion and a former multiple time Tag Team Champion. So we’re setting up Nash vs. Savage, which they have to know is going to be a disaster, by having Savage destroy half of the roster? I agree it makes him look strong, but you can’t space it out a little bit?

The best match on this show was an underwhelming Kidman vs. Guerrera match and that’s nowhere near enough to bring this up. This was one of the worst yet and that covers a lot of ground. WCW is floundering right now and I really don’t see anything being able to turn it around, at least not for a few months.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #188
Date: May 17, 1999
Location: Five Seasons Center, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

After taking last week off, we’re ready to get the fallout from Slamboree. I’m sure people have been on the edge of their seats to see if Nash has given the title back yet or to see the return of Eric Bischoff so we better not waste much time. The other major story coming out of the pay per view is Flair losing control to Piper and then being fired after a screwy ending. Let’s get to it.

We open with Flair and company arriving at the building. They head to the office and Robinson replaces Piper’s name with Flair’s.

Here are Flair and the entourage to the ring as I feel we have a theme going here. Anderson starts things off, saying the Horsemen will get the Tag Team Titles back tonight. Flair tells us what everyone knew at Slamboree: Bischoff had no authority to change the decision so Ric is still the boss. If Ted Turner doesn’t get Bischoff out, Flair is going to let Jane Fonda (Turner’s wife) ride Space Mountain.

As for tonight, it’s Flair/Robinson vs. Savage/Gorgeous George and Nash is defending against DDP. This brings out Page to endorse Flair as President and accuse Nash of having Bischoff in his pocket. That’s a pretty empty pocket if you listen to what Flair just said. Page says he has his own backup (fans: “GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG!”): Bam Bam Bigelow. We’re having a new champion tonight because Flair says so.

DJ Ran.

We get a sitdown interview with Bischoff, who talks about WCW being #1 for 88 straight weeks. Now things are more competitive though so he needs to get back on track. He’s learned from his mistakes and won’t make them again.

We get a video on Kevin Nash challenging Bret Hart for a match on the Tonight Show. Meaning a ring would be set up in the Tonight Show studio and the match will air on NBC one night at 11:30.

More Eric, this time talking about him not being sure if he had authority at Slamboree, but knowing it was the right thing. Nick Patrick was right too.

We cut back to the announcers….who throw it back to the Bischoff interview. WCW gave him the big break he needed in 1993 and now it’s time to give back.

Piper and Bischoff arrive.

Tenay is now on commentary.

Bret Hart will be on the Tonight Show tomorrow night to respond to Nash. However, he will NOT be on WCW TV anytime soon.

Clips of Gorgeous George vs. Charles Robinson.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Evan Karagias

First match and it’s only forty minutes into the show. Rey is defending and the ring looks bigger than usual. They start off awkward with Rey sending him into the corner but stumbling, followed by Evan messing up a Flair Flip and having to jump to the apron instead. Evan misses a springboard spinwheel kick and gets covered for two before hitting a springboard cross body for two of his own. Rey knocks him into the corner for the Bronco Buster before a top rope hurricanrana retains the title. I waited 40 minutes for a two minute opener?

We go to Flair’s office and in walks…..Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker? Ric offers Parker an office and a secretary if Parker lays down for David tonight. See, every promoter has pushed their kids and Flair is going to push David down the fans’ throats until they’re sick of him. His words actually. Parker agrees and Ric brings in Torrie and David to explain his plan. Flirting with Torrie ensues of course.

Here’s Booker T. to talk about the TV Title situation at Slamboree. He doesn’t care about Stevie Ray, because he wants to fight Rick Steiner for the title tonight. Not much more to this one.

David Flair vs. Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker

Robinson is refereeing in Flair trunks and a regular shirt. For those of you that don’t remember him, Parker is a career jobber who later became an insane trainer in WCW. He’s the guy that told Batista he had no future in wrestling. Parker grabs a headlock to start and gets one off a clothesline. They head into the corner where Sarge can hammer away even more, drawing the Horsemen up to the apron. Flair misses a horrible elbow drop but Buddy misses a top rope knee drop. The Figure Four makes Parker give up. Well more like Charles rings the bell as soon as the hold goes on but whatever. Parker sells the heck out of the leg.

Charles Robinson/Ric Flair vs. Gorgeous George/Randy Savage

Why Flair and Robinson went to the back instead of just staying in the ring isn’t clear, though I’d assume it’s so there won’t be as much time to spend on wrestling. Flair grabs the mic and says he wants George out here at ringside for the next match. Apparently Madusa will be taking the place of an injured George. So why mention George in the first place?

Charles Robinson/Ric Flair vs. Madusa/Randy Savage

Savage says Flair and Robinson will pay for injuring George’s knee. Robinson struts a bit before locking up with Madusa. She easily takes over with an armdrag and leg sweep, drawing in the big guys to stare at each other. Robinson actually springboards off the middle rope into an armdrag to take her down but Madusa takes his head off with a forearm.

Off to Savage vs. Flair for the biggest reaction of the night so far. I mean it even beats Evan Karagias’s pop. Savage hammers away in the corner but Flair kicks him in the knee and tags in Robinson. This goes as well as you would expect with Robinson being thrown across the ring and then getting beaten up by Madusa. A kneeling piledriver (a tombstone but with Robinson facing the crowd) puts him down again and it’s off to Flair. Madusa takes him down and rides him around the ring, only to get belly to backed down.

Ric goes after the leg but gets small packaged for two. Another belly to back sets up the Figure Four but Savage comes in to break it up. The distraction lets Madusa hit Flair low and bring in Savage to clean house. Big and Little Naitch get slammed off the top rope and Madusa beats up Ric on the floor. Randy goes up and drops the elbow on Robinson, cracking some of Charles’ vertebrae and collapsing his lung in the process, for the pin.

Rating: D. Remember at Slamboree where George and Robinson tried really hard and had a watchable match? Well this was nothing like that. There were a lot of botches and near botches with Savage’s actually causing a bad injury. The springboard armdrag does make things a little bit better though. I mean, IT’S CHARLES ROBINSON DOING A SPRINGBOARD ARMDRAG.

DJ Ran.

Gene brings out Piper to talk about the whole presidency ordeal, which is all that seems to be happening on this show. After sucking up to the Iowa crowd, Piper has a top ten list for why Flair shouldn’t be President. Some of the highlights, read off a piece of paper:

5. Flair thinks Hilary Clinton is the Phantom Menace.

8. He made Dr. Kevorkian want to commit suicide.

10. The Nitro Girls say he’s now the 60 second scab.

Now Piper wants Bischoff to come out so he can yell about not buying Eric’s apology. Ignore that Eric was out before Piper even said his name. Gene says Bischoff is still an executive, even though he doesn’t seem to have any actual power. Eric apologizes for what he’s done over the years and vows to turn everything around. This brings out Savage who demands Bischoff give him a title shot tonight.

Piper tells Savage to wait his turn so George hits him with the crutch and Savage piledrives him. Savage slams Bischoff and loads up the big elbow but Nash comes out to break it up. Randy throws out a challenge to Nash and thinks Nash should just hand the belt over. Nash implies that the girls are hookers and says handing the belt over before was a political move. He accepts the challenge for a title match at some point in the future.

Clips from the three main events at Slamboree.

Hardcore Hak vs. Fit Finlay

Somehow this sounds like a welcome change of pace. That’s how far I’ve sunk. This is set up by Hak babbling about being hardcore and Finlay popping up on the screen to challenge him. They hit each other with the mic and then a kendo stick before Hak brings in a ladder. Finlay nails him in the head with it a few times and we take a break.

Back with Finlay being bulldogged through a table before he hits Hak in the throat with some kendo stick shots. Finlay flipts him into the ladder in the corner and goes to hit him low but Nick Patrick won’t allow it. Wouldn’t that be within the rules of this match? Finlay beats on Hak even more and hits his low blow until Knobs comes out to send both guys through tables. Patrick throws it out and this feud MUST CONTINUE!

Rating: F. So hardcore means most stuff is legal but not everything, Brian Knobs is still getting a push, Hak is still getting paid to pretend he’s a “wrestler”, they’re still fighting each other in circles, and now we’re not even getting winners to these messes. This is what I sat through after an hour of Nash/Piper/Flair/Savage. I’ll take the Test vs. Meat match that was going on over on Raw at this point any day.

TV Title: Booker T. vs. Rick Steiner

This HAS to be better. Rick will suck like he has after 1995 or so but Booker is bound to be…..unconscious in the back. Steiner says Booker can’t beat anyone without his brother and issues an open challenge to the locker room. Cue Sting for a brawl around ringside with Steiner in early trouble. We actually get a bell so I guess we have a title match.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Sting

Sting does his bulldog but misses the Stinger Splash. Rick pounds on him in the corner and on the mat but Sting just pops up. They fight to the floor, only to have Sting get sent into the post. The floor mats are peeled back and Rick loads up a suplex onto the concrete. As is almost always the case, Sting reverses to prevent a probably concussion and chokes Rick with the TV cable. They head back inside where Sting hammers away with clotheslines until Scott Steiner comes out to yell at Sting. Cue Lex Luger to save his buddy as the match is thrown out with no one actually interfering.

Rating: D-. This was much more of a brawl than a match but somehow this might have been the most entertaining thing all night. Why we need to set up Rick Steiner vs. Sting and old guys vs. old guys is something only WCW could answer, but hopefully Booker gets to do something interesting soon.

Luger and Sting send the Steiners running as we’re flashing back to SuperBrawl I.

Konnan vs. Curt Hennig

Feeling out process to start with Hennig doing a random cartwheel before getting bulldogged down. A basement dropkick does the same and Konnan hammers away in the corner. Curt comes back with chops in the corner but gets chopped down as well. Hennig goes to the floor, tells Heenan he’s wearing new boots, and pulls his singlet aside to seemingly check his nipple.

On that we go to a break and come back with Konnan hammering away in the corner. Curt takes him down and stomps at the head a bit which isn’t as interesting as examining his nipples. A VERY lout chop puts Konnan down in the corner and some choking gets two. Hennig starts working on the leg with an Indian deathlock as this continues to be all over the place. The referee breaks it up for Hennig putting his hands on him so Curt keeps stoming away.

Off to another leg lock but the referee breaks it because…..why did he break that hold? Konnan wasn’t in the ropes and there’s no hair to pull. Back to the corner for more chops but Konnan comes back with a catapult into the buckle. The referee goes down and here’s Savage AGAIN to go after Konnan because he’s Nash’s buddy. At least Savage explained this one on the way to the ring. Hennig knocks Konnan to the floor and Savage sends him into the steps, setting up the HennigPlex for the pin.

Rating: D. You know, I’m a pretty big Randy Savage fan and have been for years. He used to live in Lexington and my uncle worked out at the same gym that he and Lanny Poffo worked out at. I really like the guy, but I’m SICK of him on this show! The guy is taking over the show on this night and it’s getting really dull to watch. On top of that the match was a mess with the guys being on different pages and doing little more than chopping for most of the match.

Tag Team Titles: Raven/Saturn vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Raven and Saturn are defending and have Kanyon with them. Dean and Saturn feel each other out to start until Malenko is sent out to the floor and Saturn superkicks an invading Benoit down. A big dive takes Chris out again and Malenko gets caught by something like Total Elimination but with a clothesline instead of a kick to the face. Back to Benoit who slugs it out with Raven, who actually gets the better of it. He puts Benoit on his shoulders for a cross body from Saturn for two as the fans are finally into something tonight.

Chris comes back with a hard clothesline and tags out to Malenko, who quickly walks into a t-bone suplex. The champions hammer away even more before Raven hooks a chinlock on Dean. Malenko fights up and brings in Benoit who unloads on Raven with chops. That’s fine with Raven who comes back with Three Amigos and a tag to Saturn for a guillotine legdrop.

Back from a break with Dean leg lariating Raven but getting rolled up for two. Benoit gets two off a snap suplex before hammering away in the corner. Raven just crawls over and makes the tag to Malenko as the announcers talk about the Steiners vs. Luger/Sting. Heaven forbid they talk about the Tag Team Title match right in front of them. Saturn gets sent to the floor for a brawl with Malenko but has to sidestep a baseball slide, sending it right into Dean instead.

Back inside and the Horsemen start in on Saturn’s knee as the fans are all over the challengers. Benoit cranks on the knee and Dean comes back in to stomp away at it. Now the fans think this is boring because their minds have been so numbed by Piper and Savage that they don’t recognize a good match in front of them. Saturn comes back with a release belly to belly suplex and makes the tag to Raven.

Kanyon hands him a chair but it’s quickly thrown to the floor as Raven front suplexes Dean for a top rope splash from Saturn. Everything breaks down and Benoit suplexes Raven but misses the Swan Dive. Kanyon gets on the apron, accidentally allowing Anderson to nail Raven with the tire iron. Dean goes up but Kanyon shoves him into the Death Valley Driver to retain the titles.

Rating: B-. It’s not a great match but this was pure gold after the disaster that I’ve had to sit through for the last two hours. Hopefully this moves Raven and Saturn off to some new challengers and the Horsemen off to a higher spot on the card so we can get some fresh blood up there. Good back and forth match here with all four guys hitting each other very hard.

We follow the champions all the way to the back where Bam Bam Bigelow is watching. He and Kanyon jaw a bit.

WCW’s graphics continue to suck as we see Nash with the title superimposed over his shoulder and his arms crossed. At least tuck the strap under the arms.

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kevin Nash

Another PPV title match you don’t have to pay for. They slug it out to start with Nash taking him into the corner for some elbows to the face. A big clothesline puts Page on the floor but he’s quickly back in to get forearmed in the face. Another clothesline gets two for Nash but Bam Bam Bigelow comes out for a distraction. Page hits a clothesline of his own for two and Nash is in trouble. He chokes the champion with some tape before going to the top for a flying clothesline. Popular move in this match.

Off to a nerve hold and a chinlock on Nash as the cameraman slips with no one near him. A swinging neckbreaker and Russian legsweep get two each for Page. Nash sends him into Bigelow on the apron and busts out a rollup for two. A big boot drops Page and here’s Bigelow into the ring to get beaten up as well. Savage runs out to jump Nash and that’s a DQ to retain the title.

Rating: D+. Ton of clotheslines aside, this was one of the more watchable matches of the night. Page is likely on his way out of the main event and into a tag team with Bigelow, which is about as random of a pairing as you could ask for at this point in WCW. Yeah they’re both from New Jersey but Bigelow has been in hardcore matches for months while Page has been World Champion. Bigelow is a decent enough choice for an enforcer so it’s not bad, just odd.

All three hammer on Nash and the girls hand Savage lipstick to put on Nash’s face. A fan runs in and gets beaten down. Savage drops the big elbow to end the show.

Overall Rating: F+. If not for that tag match, this would be one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen. Between the endless Savage vs. Nash stuff that we’re going to have another month of to the horrible Cruiserweight Title match to hardcore matches being thrown out and Booker being laid out in the back, this was a very long show to sit through. We’re firmly in the horrible period for WCW now, and the fact that it’s only going to get worse for a long time terrifies me.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Slamboree 1999
Date: May 9, 1999
Location: TWA Dome, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 20,516
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

Things are going downhill in a hurry around here and the pay per views can be the biggest disasters they have. The main event here is Page vs. Nash for the title along with a Sting vs. Goldberg match that you had to pay attention to hear about. We also have Piper vs. Crazy Flair for control of the company, even though both have been fired in recent weeks. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is your basic look at the three main events with a bunch of circles coming out of the middle of the screen. The rest of the card gets a quick focus as well.

The announcers do their opening chat.

Gene runs down the card as well and plugs the Hotline.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Saturn/Raven vs. Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr.

Kidman and Mysterio are defending and this is one fall to a finish with three guys in the ring at once. You can only tag your own partner. Saturn and Kidman drop Malenko with a double clothesline to start before a dropkick puts Dean on the floor. Benoit comes in and gets dropkicked as well before Saturn nails Kidman with a dropkick. A huge belly to belly suplex sends Kidman flying out to the floor as the fans think the Horsemen suck.

Back in and Benoit grabs a German suplex on Kidman for two with Raven making a save. Rey comes in and throws Raven down before taking Chris down with a hurricanrana. Mysterio’s slingshot legdrop hits Benoit by mistake to give Raven two. Kidman and Benoit drop Raven across the top rope but the Canadian turns on his short term partner. This is really fast paced stuff so far.

Kidman misses a top rope splash on Benoit and gets caught in the Crossface until Raven makes a save. Raven hits a front suplex on Kidman so Saturn can nail a top rope splash but Dean makes a save of his own. Malenko throws Rey over his head but Mysterio lands on the top rope and moonsaults back onto Dean for two. Awesome spot. All six guys are in now but it’s quickly down to just Raven and Saturn.

The Horsemen come back in to clean house and double team Saturn. They do the same to the champions until we settle down to Benoit vs. Kidman vs. Saturn. Kidman runs Benoit over but Saturn crotches him on the top and runs him over, sending Kidman to the floor. Benoit runs Saturn over and knocks him out to the floor as well. Back and in and Benoit and Saturn collide to give Chris a two count. Benoit rolls some Germans but Kidman runs in for a last second save.

Saturn counters the Cloverleaf with a small package for two but Kidman makes another save. Dean spits at Rey to tick him off, allowing the Horsemen to run Kidman over. It’s back to the tagging again as the announcers are saying let the guys fight. A snap suplex gets two on Saturn and Benoit stomps away at Kidman. Dean comes back in and throws Kidman in the air, earning him a dropkick to the chest. Saturn tags Raven in for some rolling vertical suplexes on Benoit for two.

Kidman brings in Mysterio for some near falls and everything breaks down. A top rope clothesline drops Benoit and a springboard seated senton does the same to Saturn. There’s a Bronco Buster to Raven before the champs do the launched hurricanrana off the top to take down Benoit. They try it on Saturn but Mysterio gets planted with a super sitout powerbomb.

Kidman reverses a powerbomb from Saturn but Saturn calls for the Death Valley Driver. This brings in Anderson for the spinebuster to Saturn and Dean puts on the Cloverleaf. Someone in a Sting mask, DDP shirt and backwards hat comes in to shove Kidman into the Evenflow to give Raven the pin and the titles.

Rating: B+. This was a really hot opener and I can’t imagine how good it was going to be if they let the guys go nuts like Tony was asking for. Either way it got the crowd into things and was the right way to end this long running feud. Raven and Saturn are the only ones that haven’t had the belts yet, though they didn’t need Kanyon’s help to get them.

The masked man was Kanyon.

Video on Page.

Konnan vs. Stevie Ray

This is due to Ray attacking Konnan a few weeks back. Ray hammers Konnan down in the corner to start but Konnan comes back with right hands and a float around bulldog for two. Back up and Stevie nails a big boot to take over before sending Konnan out to the floor for a beating from the Black and White. Stevie hooks a chinlock back inside before a suplex gets two. Konnan fights up for the rolling clothesline and X-Factor but has to knock Vincent off the apron. Mysterio comes out to try for a save but has to fight off the Black and White. In the confusion, Rey nails a top rope seated senton on Stevie to give Konnan the rollup pin.

Rating: F. A six minute Stevie Ray vs. Konnan match had a referee distraction and three people interfering for a rollup finish. The match was boring and WAY too much chinlock before all of the interference. It doesn’t help that the story was barely there, making the match feel all the more pointless.

Video on Nash.

Rick Steiner says he has a lot to prove.

Video on Sting, mostly with clips from 1997.

Page and Bigelow are in the back and have a conversation we can’t hear.

King of Hardcore: Brian Knobs vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

I think the title is vacant coming in but you can’t really tell with this company. We get a bonus stipulation for the match: falls count anywhere. I guess that’s only standard in WWF hardcore rules. Neither guy has music. They start with the weapons early and Brian nails him with a waiter’s tray and cookie sheet. Bigelow botches raising his feet in the corner by kicking the trashcan when it’s down by Brian’s knees. Bam Bam puts him on his shoulder for something like a backwards suplex into a Diamond Cutter for two.

The top rope headbutt gets two for Bigelow as the announcers get in a stupid argument over talking when the weapons hit. Knobs misses a chair shot and falls out to the floor to really make it hardcore. Bigelow sends him into the steps and hits Brian with various metal weapons. He uses a pair of trashcan lids like cymbals around Knobs’ head and hits a LOUD cookie sheet to the head.

Both guys are already looking spent. Bigelow is sent into the weapons cart but Brian misses a charge into it as well. Brian gets a mop bucket put on his head and a punch makes things even worse. The fans want tables but get a chair to Knobs’ ribs instead. They fight over to the souvenir stand that is there for them to fight in. Off to backstage (complete with a shot of about 10,000-15,000 empty seats. Remember that this is a football stadium) and swing a ladder at each other. Knobs dives off a ledge onto Bigelow to drive him through a table. Naturally he jumps too far and just crashes because this match is a disaster. Bigelow suplexes him through the table for the win.

Rating: D-. Heenan’s line of “And they do this for a living” sums up the whole thing. The fact that these people make more money than I likely will in years makes me feel very very sad, though that might be due to the last twenty five minutes of whatever it was that I’ve had to sit through. Between Stevie’s lame chinlock and this mess, I need something good to cleanse the pallet.

We recap Rick Steiner vs. Booker T. THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!! They’re fighting because Booker is champion and Rick Steiner is employed for some reason.

TV Title: Booker T. vs. Rick Steiner

Booker is defending. They circle each other for a minute or so until Rick hammers him with right hands and a belly to belly suplex. Booker bails to the floor for a breather as the crowd is silent. Back in and Booker fires off some kicks with a spinning shot to the face putting Rick on the floor again. Steiner head back inside and gets elbowed in the jaw for two before the champ puts on a chinlock.

They head outside a third time with Rick sending him into the barricade over and over. A release German gets two for Steiner and he hammers away with right hands on the mat. Booker tries to fight back but gets elbowed into the corner to keep him in trouble. Back to the chinlock on the champion before a hard kick to the face drops Steiner again. The sidewalk slam sets up the missile dropkick but Scott Steiner runs out for a distraction. Rick gets two off a Steiner Line but Booker sends the brothers together. The side kick gets two and Booker is fired up, until Scott grabs his foot. The Steiner Bulldog gives Rick the title.

Rating: D. Can anyone explain to me why the Steiners are both champions in 1999? He’s had like two matches back and he gets to pin Booker T. on PPV? It’s getting really frustrating watching Booker have consistently good matches (when he doesn’t have a horrible opponent of course) and have to keep rebuilding himself up because WCW keeps wasting him.

We recap Gorgeous George vs. Charles Robinson. This is a side feud of Savage vs. Flair who are feuding for reasons not quite clear. Robinson is Little Naitch here and has been calling George a bimbo.

Rick looks for Scott in the back and warns Buff Bagwell to be careful tonight.

Charles Robinson vs. Gorgeous George

If George wins, Savage is reinstated. Robinson is doing a perfect Flair impression here, complete with the smirk and strut. The nurse is now named Asya (oh so funny) and Flair is at ringside here. Charles’ fingers are even taped up. Thankfully George isn’t dressed like Savage. Flair says he’s always wanted Madusa to ride Space Mountain and Miss Madness can come with her. George is being left to Little Naitch though and Charles says he’ll let George ride Space Mountain all night. Savage gets on the mic (pop of the night so far) and says George is going to destroy Robinson.

We get started and Charles is now in regular Flair gear. They stall for about a minute and Naitch avoids the lockup and WOOs. Well woos actually since he’s Little Naitch. Robinson gets in Savage’s face so George cranks on his arm. They trade wristlocks with George cranking on a hammerlock followed by a full nelson. She shoves the Nature Boys together and the big guys get in for a staredown.

Robinson and Miss Madness fight over a chair on the floor. Naitch shoves her down and slams her so Savage calls for a medic. The regular referee shoves Robinson down as the match kind of stops for a bit. Back in and Robinson chokes George on the ropes before being sent into the corner for a Flair Flip. He runs the apron and goes up, only to get slammed off the top. George nails a clothesline and the Flair Flop sets up a two count.

Asya trips George up and cranks on her knee but Kung Fu Madusa makes the save with a kick to the head. Robinson goes after the bad leg and NOW WE GO TO SCHOOL! He puts on the Figure Four but George turns it over. Flair sneaks in to save Robinson but Savage slams Robinson, setting up the top rope elbow from George (so much for the leg) for the pin.

Rating: C. Well they tried. That’s more important than anything else here and the match was WAY better than it could have been. This could have been a disaster and it wound up being a fun little match. Robinson nailed the impression and George looked great in her cheerleader outfit. Again, they tried and that’s what matters in something like this.

We recap Steiner vs. Bagwell, which stems from Steiner blaming Buff for losing the TV Title and Buff saying Steiner’s ego was out of control.

US Title: Buff Bagwell vs. Scott Steiner

Buff is challenging and jumps Steiner before he can get to the mic. A swinging neckbreaker drops Scott while he still has the belt on. Steiner drops Buff with a low blow and the muscle clothesline gets two. He plants Buff ribs first against the turnbuckle before tying him up in the Tree of Woe to crank on Bagwell’s neck. Scott chokes and swears a lot before planting Buff with a butterfly powerbomb for two. Total dominance so far.

There’s a belly to belly but Scott goes outside and grabs a chair. Buff clotheslines it into the champ’s face before making his comeback with a dropkick. There’s an atomic drop but Scott pulls the referee in front of a clothesline. Cue Rick Steiner to chair Buff into the Recliner to keep the title on Scott.

Rating: D. Erg this show is trying to drive me crazy. I have no idea why WCW thinks the Steiner Brothers being together (after never having a real match against each other) is a good idea, but this is what they’re going with to combat Austin and Rock vs. the Corporate Ministry. They deserve what they get.

Video on Goldberg.

Video on the two singles matches people might want to see. That would be Sting vs. Goldberg and Nash vs. Page if it’s not clear.

Video on Flair being the crazy president. I’m sure the fans must be loving this.

Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair

For the Presidency. Charles Robinson comes out to be referee and Johnny Boone is fired for the heck of it. Piper slaps Flair down to start as Tenay tries to make sense of who has been fired. Tony: “Who knows?” Ric is knocked to the floor but Robinson won’t let Roddy go after him. Back in and they trade chops in the corner until Piper punches Flair down. They head outside with Piper throwing more chops against the barricade to keep control.

Back in again and a low blow puts Piper down. Robinson: “You got a stomach ache?” He yells at Piper for choking before turning his back so Anderson and Asya can get in some shots of their own. Another low blow drops Roddy but Flair takes forever to cover, allowing Piper to make his comeback. He can’t follow up after a backdrop though and Anderson chokes him on the ropes. Roddy fights back with chops to Ric’s chest and Flair flips over the corner and out to the floor.

That’s a bit too much work so they head back inside for a collision to fall on the mat. Flair is up first and starts going after the knee as this match just won’t end. A cannonball onto the leg sets up the Figure Four but Piper quickly turns it over. Ric sends him outside again but gets his trunks taken down on a sunset flip attempt.

The worst backslide in history gets no count as Robinson is with Anderson and a small pile of unfastened boxes (there’s no package to it at all) gets the same. Piper puts on the Figure Four and Flair shouts that he gives up but Anderson comes in for the save. Roddy slaps a sleeper on him but has to let it go to put it on Ric. Asya comes in for the save and gets kissed and put in the hold as well. Piper finally nails Robinson but gets hit with a foreign object as Robinson gets up just in time to count the pin.

Rating: F. This was on pay per view in 1999 so it’s a failure on principle alone. On top of that, the match was a disaster with the spots being totally blown and neither guy looking like he had the energy to last three minutes let alone the twelve this got (third longest match on the card). Horrible match, but we’re not done yet.

Eric Bischoff comes out for the first time in months and says he isn’t screwing this up. He declares Piper the winner for reasons that aren’t explained. Why he has the authority to do this (remember that he had his power stripped), why he’s suddenly good (not explained) and why he did this (ok to be fair there are about a million reasons to disqualify Flair. I’ll give him that one) aren’t explained. Piper immediately fires Flair and thanks Bischoff for what he did.

Very quick video on Goldberg vs. Sting in case you didn’t catch the other three of them.

Sting vs. Goldberg

The announcers spend the entrances trying to explain the Bischoff stuff. Feeling out process to start with Sting trying to escape a powerslam but falling out of the air. A powerslam puts Sting down again and Goldberg clotheslines him out to the floor. Back in and Sting ducks a superkick and hits a dropkick to stagger Goldberg. A clothesline puts Goldberg outside as well and it’s a stalemate.

Back in and Goldberg puts on a cross armbreaker but Sting makes the ropes. Sting goes after the knee and drops all of his weight down onto it a few times. There’s a Boston crab but Goldberg powers out of it and sends Sting out to the floor again. Back in and Sting grabs a headlock as this is still in low second gear.

The headlock goes about as well as you would expect and Goldberg hiptosses Sting over. A horrible looking swinging neckbreaker drops Sting for two but he jumps to the top for a clothesline. The Stinger Splash is countered into a spinebuster which the announcers call a spear. Cue Bret Hart to beat up the referee and whack Goldberg with a chair for the no contest.

Rating: D+. This was really dull as they were just filling time until they got to the stupid ending. Sting vs. Goldberg is a match that should have headlined Starrcade at some point but instead it’s used as a plot device to get Bret Hart back on television, because you know WCW is going to use him right after a year and a half of wasting him.

Bret destroys Goldberg’s knee for a bit and leaves. The Steiners come out to beat up Sting and Goldberg because they’re the top villains now I guess.

Yet another Nash vs. Page video because three weren’t enough.

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kevin Nash

Nash is challenging. Page tries a fast Diamond Cutter but gets shoved away, only to come back with rights and lefts. A big boot puts the champion on the floor before Nash brings him back inside for some slow right hands. Page fights out of the corner and keeps swinging away until Nash shoves him across the ring. A low blow stops Nash and Page uses the distraction to cut off a turnbuckle pad. That’s just a distraction to let Page hit Nash with the microphone for two.

Nash rolls to the middle of the ring and pulls Page face first into the exposed buckle. A very delayed cover gets two as both guys are still laying on the mat. They slug it out again and a clothesline puts Nash outside again. A Diamond Cutter on the floor lays Nash out, meaning we continue the lack of action. For reasons not quite clear, Page thinks this is falls count anywhere (he says that to the referee and is stunned when it’s not true). Back in and Page gets two with his feet on the ropes.

An elbow drop between Nash’s legs let Page pose even more. He goes to put on the Figure Four around the post but Nash kicks him into the barricade. Back in and Nash still can’t get up. The fans look at something in the crowd as Nash makes his comeback, complete with Snake Eyes onto the exposed buckle. There’s the Jackknife but Savage runs in for the DQ.

Wait scratch that as Bischoff still has some authority and says keep going. They’re just making this nonsense up as they go aren’t they? Tony says this is No DQ even though Bischoff never said that. Page hits a Russian legsweep and a clothesline for two before puttnig on a horrible looking sleeper. Nash reverses into a hold that looks like he’s trying to rip off Page’s ear. The champ grabs a jawbreaker for two and gets a chair. The chair hits the top rope and nails Page in the head for two. Back up and the big boot and Jackknife give Nash the title.

Rating: D-. Another boring match which fits the theme tonight. We still have no explanation as to why Savage and Page are associates now and I can’t imagine we ever will. This was supposed to be about Nash getting revenge for Hogan, but given that it hasn’t been mentioned in weeks, I’m assuming WCW has forgotten about it. Bad match here with neither guy feeling interested in working.

Overall Rating: D. I can’t say a show with an opener that hot is a failure. This period of WCW has the biggest problem a wrestling company can have: it’s really uninteresting. The matches aren’t very good for the most part, but that sort of thing can be fixed. The problem here is the main stories range from really stupid to something that completely falls apart if you think about it for more than five seconds. Things are about to get even worse though and the few good spots are getting rarer and rarer.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6