Monday Nitro
Date: March 8, 1999
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 9,400
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

This is another request and the ultra rare Nitro request on top of that. This show is another three hour show from WCW and the first hour is considered one of the worst hours of wrestling TV ever. This is also the go home show for Uncensored which has a main event of Hogan vs. Flair. There’s some innovative thinking. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of the special cage (the Cell) being built for the main event on Sunday.

We get a clip from Thunder with Arn Anderson talking to Flair, trying to console him about David Flair turning on his dad. Flair talks about how he’s got Hogan to worry about so he can’t worry about David right now. It’s David’s responsibility and that’s not Ric’s problem anymore. Anderson says that David is young and making mistakes. Ric says that’s not his problem right now. He says the Horsemen are back on top if he wins the title. Anderson says he hopes this is just a game face and that he really is concerned. Flair basically says screw that, it’s my time. Anderson doesn’t like it. This goes on for like seven minutes.

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The Nitro Girls are in Rhode Island at some kind of Nitro Party with competitions and such.

We go to a live Nitro Party in Providence, Rhode Island. They’re at a university apparently. There’s a spring break special and a guy here (last name Kazarian) won a trip to it.

We get introduced to Nitro Girl AC Jazz and see one of their practices.

Hogan talks about how everyone hates him but he did it for the money or something. This is tied into David Flair joining the NWO. Ric is only obsessed with the belt and power and doesn’t care at all about his son bailing. Hogan would NEVER do that but he’s willing to give Flair another shot, but he wants Flair’s career vs. the title. This also runs 5 minutes.

We’re over 20 minutes into this show and we haven’t seen the arena yet.

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Back to the Nitro Party after a presumed commercial. Konnan is at the party too.

Here’s a Konnan rap video to make sure we don’t get any wrestling.

Another NWO video, this one of Hogan and Nash watching a Flair promo. It’s basically them riffing on him as Flair talks about coming back to WCW and seeing his son leave him for the NWO. Hogan and Nash make Buddy Landell jokes that maybe 2% of the audience will get. The NWO says they’ll regroup.

Video on Lex Luger.

Scott Steiner is pulled over while driving a Hummer limo. The cops recognize him and Bagwell……and make them cops. We get a montage of them “stopping crimes” after starting them in the first place while calling each other Starsky and Hutch.

Back to the party with the girls dancing. Kidman is there now and thinks Mysterio can beat Nash.

Video on Mysterio. The NWO took his mask so this Sunday he can get revenge.

Torrie Wilson is shooting a gun at a shooting range when Hogan and Nash come in. They go in to see her and the camera would be right in the path of her bullets. The guys suggest she sleep with David to get him back on their side. They plan to meet for dinner later.

45 minutes in, no arena yet. Keep in mind that this was the hour they had unopposed by Raw. Raw would be having the final push to Mania 15, meaning Austin vs. Rock/McMahon. AND THIS IS WHAT THEY GIVE US. Is anyone surprised they went out of business?

And uh, here’s the dinner. They talk about destroying Ric Flair and plan about David.

See, apparently at this point there were four dark matches going on in the arena. We’re getting this hour of stuff instead. Looking at the card though, this might be more entertaining. Looking at Torrie Wilson with a dress that comes to her upper thigh is never a problem. She says there’s another hot girl she knows. The girl is some chick named Denise who I don’t recognize. Her last name is Robinson, meaning we get Graduate jokes. Apparently she’ll get 20 grand for taking care of David. Sounds like a sweet deal actually.

Now we get the theme song. SO WHAT WAS THAT FIRST HOUR???

We go to the arena…for an interview. Well of course we do. Gene calls out Goldberg for a chat but we get Torrie and David instead. David wants to talk to Ric man to man tonight. Goldberg’s music hits….and we take a break. Back with Goldberg in the ring, talking to David about respect. He isn’t going to take care of things like he usually would. That’s good. It might be entertaining.

David needs to respect what his father has done for the business because it’s more than David and his friends could ever do. David also needs to respect Goldberg because this is his time. David shoves him and gets choked, so here comes Ric. Flair sprints down and chops Goldberg once before turning to David, who is running away. Press slam to Ric (who is president at this point) and Naitch is in trouble. Flair makes Goldberg vs. himself tonight. Goldberg says Flair is crossing the line so Flair yells some more.

ANOTHER commercial.

Raven vs. Hak

Falls count anywhere. Neither gets an entrance. Raven has a chair and Hak (Sandman) has a cane, but as the bell rings….they hug. Oh never mind as Raven pounds him down almost immediately. HARD cane shot to Hak’s head and they head to the floor. Bam Bam Bigelow will join these two at Uncensored in a triangle match. Hak puts him on the guardrail and hits a leg to the back ala RVD minus the spin.

They go up the ramp with Raven hitting a suplex onto the steel. Bird Boy busts out a table on the stage. He climbs the scaffolding to put Hak through it and here’s Bigelow, who isn’t in the match. He beats up Hak anyway as the fans chant for Goldberg. The bell rings and I guess the match is thrown out to HUGE booing.

Rating: D+. This was stupid. I guess they were previewing the PPV match but it didn’t make me want to see it. Also it’s Raven’s Rules so how can that be a DQ? Stupid match with a stupid ending. The table spot and the cane shot weren’t bad, but what was the point of this?

Apparently the bell was inadvertent so we’re going to continue this in the same match we’ll see on Sunday. Great.

Hak vs. Raven vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

They’re fighting in the back with Hak being thrown all over the place. Hak comes back and fights up to an ambulance. Here’s Raven again and it’s just random brawling. There’s a trash cart and Hak goes for a ride in it. They fight over to Flair’s limo and Raven DDTs Hak on the hood, only to get crushed by Bigelow.

He hits Raven in the groin on the hood and they’re all exhausted. They keep beating on each other and you can hear the boring chants. The problem here is they’re just laying around, doing a spot, then laying around more. They all just walk away to end it. No rating because it wasn’t really a match, but this was STUPID.

Now we get clips of the three guys fighting last week. Ok then.

Lizmark Jr. vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho (WITH RALPHUS!) comes out wearing a dog collar. Jericho grabs the mic and welcomes us to Monday Night Jericho. Tony: “Hey we’re talking here fellow!” Chris wants to talk about Perry Saturn, who has challenged Jericho to a chain match on Sunday. Jericho is a master of the chain match though, after training on mountain tops in Nepal. He’s a Swami you see. This match is going to be a chain match. Tony: “There’s been too much talk and not enough wrestling here.” I think I just died because of that line.

The bell rings so let’s talk about Flair some more. I think you win by pin or submission here. Jericho steps on the chain to pull Lizmark in to start and chokes with it. He wraps the chain around the knee and drops it in a unique spot. Lizmark gets tied up with the chain as Tony talks about the chain match at Starrcade 83. Can we watch that instead? It’s a MUCH better match than anything that’ll be on this show. Lizmark chokes him a bit but walks into a kind of spinebuster and the Liontamer for the tap.

Rating: D+. There were some nice moves in this from Jericho but it was just a squash. Jericho has said he had more or less made up his mind that he was gone soon after this and in fact he would be in the WWF by I believe August, where things would go MUCH better for him. Lizmark never quite meant much in WCW.

Here’s Steiner to say he’s well built and all that. The fans are all fat. Buff Bagwell says Booker is too stupid to back out of the match tonight.

TV Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

Steiner is TV Champion. The announcers talk about how great the NWO has been at what they’ve done. We’re two and a half years into the plan so far and it still hasn’t worked but whatever. Feeling out process to start and Booker hits a spinning forearm for two. A hook kick knocks Steiner to the floor and Tony complains about Steiner taking a break. Larry goes into some weird environmental speech about breathing clean air before Tony cuts him off.

Back in the ring and Booker rams him into the corner a few times before Scott kicks him low to take over. Out to the floor again and we get a steroids chant. We take a break and come back with Booker hitting a forearm for one but getting taken down by a clothesline. Spinning belly to belly puts Booker down and Steiner keeps pounding away at the back. He pounds Booker down in the corner with punches and gets two off a backbreaker.

Steiner keeps up the power with a slam and chokes Booker in the Tree of Woe. Booker escapes another slam and hits a neckbreaker to break up Steiner’s momentum just for a second. Ax kick out of nowhere puts Steiner down and there’s the Spinarooni. Booker goes up but gets crotched by Bagwell. There’s the Recliner and Booker’s arm drops twice. He holds it up for the third drop so Steiner drops him….which counts as the third arm drop and Steiner wins by knockout. At least it’s over.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible match here but Steiner just wasn’t over yet. That didn’t stop the company from shoving him down our throats of course but when did it ever? Bagwell was beyond annoying here and did the match no favors. Still though, it was nice to see a match get some time as opposed to what you were expecting with Raw at this time.

Steiner hits Booker in the back with a chair post match.

We see the Flair vs. Goldberg showdown earlier.

The Nitro Girls dance as Tony talks about upcoming house shows (his words).

Jerry Flynn gets promo time for some reason. Before he talks, Sonny Onoo (one of his opponents on Sunday and minus his accent) comes up but Jerry grabs him by the shirt. Ernest Miller, the other opponent, kicks Flynn in the back of the head and they cut off his mullet.

Scott Norton vs. Rey Mysterio

I think you get the idea here as Mysterio has Nash on Sunday. Norton is looking old here. Rey gets knocked to the floor and is holding his back. There isn’t much to say at all here. Mysterio charges at Norton, Norton knocks him down, Rey lays around a lot, Norton hits him some more, Rey charges at Norton and we repeat it again.

Norton throws him out to the floor and Rey’s back is hurt. Rey counters the shoulderbreaker but gets dropped on the buckle to stop the comeback. Norton kills him with a clothesline but picks him up. He does the same off a one handed press slam. Ok that was cool. Then Rey kicks him low and a fast count pins Norton. Seriously, that’s it.

Rating: F. What in the world did this accomplish? Rey looks like a ragdoll, Norton looks like an idiot, I have no reason to believe Rey can beat Nash fairly or have a chance against him, and the match was boring because Norton did little more than stand around the whole time. What was this supposed to accomplish?

More Nitro Girls.

The same cage building video from earlier is shown.

Van Hammer vs. Bret Hart

O……k. Apparently there are more stipulations for Flair vs. Hogan but you have to check the WCW website for them. Egads. Feeling out process to start and Bret is sent to the floor to cool off a bit. Back in and Van Hammer works on the arm but Bret nips up into an arm hold of his own. Van Hammer takes him right back down into a wristlock. He takes Bret into the corner and has been in control most of the match.

Bret is like screw that and hits Hammer low to take over. It’s time to work on the leg so Bret goes through his usual sequence of wear down stuff. Figure Four goes on (the wrong leg) but Van Hammer makes the rope. In a nice heel move Bret won’t let go and spends a long time explaining to the referee that it’s because Hammer is laying on his leg. Small package gets two for Hammer.

Hammer hooks the slowest motion backslide ever for two. Bret goes back to the knee with a cannonball down onto it. The leg gets wrapped around the post and a DDT gets two for the Hitman. Back to the floor and Bret tries to ram the leg into the post again, only to get pulled into it face first. Back in and Hammer suplexes him for no cover. Van Hammer’s cobra clutch slam gets two. An enziguri misses and it’s Sharpshooter time. You know that ends it.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but why would you wasted a 12 minute Bret Hart match on freaking Van Hammer? This is where WCW never made a ton of sense (I know, I know): they had no clue what to do with Bret as he was in the midcard for most of his time there, especially after the first few months where he didn’t do much of anything.

Bret hits the leg with a chair post match.

Hogan and Nash come to the commentary booth and run off Heenan and Tenay.

Ric Flair vs. Goldberg

You know you might think this should be saved for a PPV. That would make too much sense I guess though. Nash brings up a good question: why does Flair wear his knee pads below his knees? Flair gets taken down quickly and is shoved down a second time. Shoulder block doesn’t work at all for Flair. A second does even less. A third results in a gorilla press powerslam to have Flair in agony.

Flair tries to walk up the aisle but Goldberg drags him back. Nash talks about some really strong dude from the Emerald city but he isn’t sure what happened to him. A low blow puts Goldberg down (popular move tonight) and chops don’t work. Another low blow puts Goldie down for an easily broken two count. Goldberg stars a comeback but Flair kicks him low a third time. Refereeing in this company sucks.

Time to go after the legs and after a single shot it’s Figure Four time. That gets powered out of so Flair fires off some kicks. Goldberg no sells them and sends Flair to the corner for the Flair Flip and out to the floor. Flair gets slammed down but the spear misses and he hits the buckle. Goldberg no sells a suplex and spears him down. The NWO D-Team runs in for the no contest.

Rating: C+. This was getting really good until the bad ending. See, here’s what I don’t get. What was the point in the NWO coming in? Hogan is facing Flair on Sunday so wouldn’t they want him to get hit with the Jackhammer to hurt him more? Goldberg didn’t have a match on Sunday and wasn’t on the show at all, so why would they attack him? That’s a basic plot problem.

Hogan and Nash come in also and it’s a big NWO beatdown to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. I know the expected thing is to say that this is the worst show ever and all that, but it really isn’t. Don’t get me wrong: it’s bad and this was a chore to sit through, but it wasn’t the worst show ever. This was just dull for the most part. Considering I didn’t have to pay much attention at all to the first hour, this was just a bad Nitro. That being said, the show still sucks, but I’ve seen far worse shows. The lack of energy or anyone caring at all is really evident though.

Here’s Uncensored if you’re interested:

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 7, 1999
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re just one week after Undertaker beat Austin for the title with the help of both McMahons and Austin broken heart due to Owen Hart passing away earlier in the night. Other than that it’s Rock vs. HHH because this is 1999 and what else is it going to be? This show was requested by someone that I don’t remember for reasons I don’t remember either. Oh wait apparently there’s a somewhat significant moment on here so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Austin stunning everyone in sight in recent weeks.

Here’s Vince to open the show and looking like he wants to fight. He talks about how the Greater Power is here tonight and it doesn’t matter who it is. It might be Shawn Michaels, it might be one of the McMahons, it might be Jake Roberts, it might be the bartender from down the street. Vince wants a street fight with the Greater Power tonight so he calls out Shane for a fight. However he’ll sweeten the pot a bit further: if Shane will put up his 50% ownership of the company, Vince will do the same, making the fight winner take all.

This brings out Shane who immediately accepts the challenge, but disappoints Vince because he isn’t the Greater Power. However, he’ll bring out the Greater Power in just a few moments. Ok then.

We run down the card tonight: there’s a Lion’s Den match with Shamrock vs. Jeff Jarrett, the Acolytes defending the tag titles against the Brood, Debra defending against the monster Nicole Bass and of course that whole Greater Power deal.

Austin is in the back talking to someone in a limo.

Speaking of the Greater Power deal, it’s already time for it. Undertaker leads the Corporate Ministry (HHH, Chyna, Acolytes, Mideon, Viscera, Big Boss Man, Shane who isn’t present here and Paul Bearer) which is a pretty impressive army. Unertaker talks about assembling an army for the arrival of a power greater than himself. The Ministry and the Corporation merged to show what kind of power was at hand.

With that, the lights go dark and a man in a cloak comes to the ring. Everyone but Undertaker is kneeling in the ring. JR and King think it’s Shane, but as the hooded figure stands in the ring, Shane comes out through the curtain saying he told us it wasn’t him. Shane talks about what a mastermind the Greater Power is and how smart the Power is. Before we reveal the identity though, Shane wants Vince to be the one that unveils the Greater Power. Vince pops up on screen and says this is close enough for him.

The Greater Power pulls back his hood to reveal……Vince McMahon, saying that it was him all along and that every one of us bought it. Even his family bought the story and he blames Austin for causing all this. The entire plan (oh we’ll get to that later) was enacted to teach Austin a lesson: Vince will do anything he has to do in order to torment Austin. Vince thanks Shane, Undertaker, and everyone else involved with the Corporate Ministry….and here are Linda and Stephanie McMahon, Vince’s wife and daughter.

Stephanie wants to know how this could happen and Vince says it was just business. Linda says let’s talk business then. Vince sucks up to her but she says love has nothing to do with business. First of all, when Vince says that he and Shane both own 50% of the company, Vince is lying. Since there are four McMahons, they all own equal shares. Vince didn’t build this company on his own. That’s why this morning, there was a meeting of the board of directors. First and foremost, there are changes to the dress code. It’s now less formal, with more cutoff jeans. Also, some profanity and drinking on the job are now perfectly acceptable.

That’s not the biggest deal though. The real story is that Linda has stepped down as CEO of the company while picking a new CEO. That new CEO will have FULL authority to run this company as he sees fit. The new CEO: STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN! COMPLETE WITH A TIE!!! The look on Vince’s face is absolutely hysterical as he is, in a word, absolutely STUNNED. Austin takes off the tie because he has a power finger instead of a power tie. There’s a middle finger for Vince before Austin talks about making a fast transition to power.

First and foremost, Austin WILL be getting a title shot in the near future and WILL be taking his title back. As for the next PPV, which is King of the Ring, it’s going to be Austin vs. Vince and Shane in a handicap match. Vince is fine with that but Austin doesn’t want to hear about that. As for tonight, it’s Shane vs. Kane and X-Pac in a handicap match. As for the remaining members of the Union, which would be Shamrock, Test and Big Show, they can pick any opponent they like.

Since HHH put out Mankind with a sledgehammer last week, there’s going to be a cast match with HHH vs. Rock. Since Rock’s arm is in a cast, we’re going to put HHH’s leg in a cast and have a one on one match. If anyone has a problem with any of that, come find Austin and if he’s not having too much beer, he’ll talk to you.

After a much needed break, Linda and Stephanie present Austin with a briefcase full of beer.

Ok so now that we’re about a third of the way done with the show, let’s recap for a second. For those of you unfamiliar with the story that led up to all this, here you are. Back in the late fall/winter, Undertaker started to get more and more “into his character”, which meant he was starting to become more and more demonic. This led to him starting to kidnap people and recruit the army that would become his Ministry of Darkness.

Undertaker’s plans were revealed as him wanting to own the WWF and run the company as he saw fit, but Vince was too busy fighting the war against Austin with his Corporation. Soon after that, Undertaker invaded Vince’s home and stole a teddy bear, which belonged to Stephanie, showing that Vince and his family weren’t safe anywhere. Also around this time, Undertaker began talking about serving a Higher Power. Vince began to crack under the pressure which became even more intense when Undertaker kidnapped Stephanie at the end of Backlash.

This resulted in the Black Wedding, where Stephanie appeared on Raw tied to an Undertaker symbol resembling a cross. Paul Bearer attempted to wed Stephanie to Undertaker, but Austin made the save because it was the right thing to do, not because of any care for Vince. THIS led us to Over the Edge, where Austin defended the title against Undertaker with both Vince and Shane as guest referees. Shane screwed Austin out of the title, which led us to tonight.

As you now know, Vince was the Greater Power all along, meaning that he terrorized his family, tormented himself (in a way), lied, cheated, acted like a crazy man, and cried on national television, all to get the WWF Title off of Steve Austin. Now THOSE are the actions of a crazy man. Why do you ask?

BECAUSE VINCE ALREADY HAD THE TITLE OFF OF AUSTIN IN THE FIRST PLACE! Austin hadn’t been champion since September. Vince had his Corporate Champion in the Rock, he had Undertaker under his power, he apparently had Shane under his power, and Austin was the only target he had. Why in the world did he allow Undertaker and the Corporation to fight at Wrestlemania instead of focusing everything they had on stopping Austin from getting the title back?

On top of THAT, just looking at tonight, since Austin now has 50% power which gives him more than either Vince or Shane, why don’t they combine their shares into one so that they can balance out Austin? That all being said, the last half hour of this show was AMAZINGLY entertaining and back in 1999 this had me losing my mind watching it. However, much like Russo’s other master plan angles, it falls apart when you think about it for more than 15 seconds.

Overall Rating: …….oh wait we’ve got like an hour and fifteen minutes left don’t we?

Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. Gangrel/Edge

The Brood (Edge and Gangrel) were recently thrown out of the Corporate Ministry after Christian had told Shamrock where Stephanie was. The Acolytes won the belts last week from Kane and X-Pac thanks to interference by Shane. The champions run over their far smaller challengers to start until we get down to Bradshaw against Gangrel. Gangrel fires off what few shots he can but there’s too much Texas, allowing Bradshaw to hit the fallaway slam to take control.

Faarooq comes in for more of the same as he pounds away on the back of the vampire. Off to Edge who speeds things up a bit with clotheslines and spinwheel kicks. Not that it matters though as it’s back to a still weak (must be the garlic from catering) Gangrel who is distracted by the Hardys and their manager Michael Hayes on the stage. As Gangrel turns around it’s the Clothesline from Bradshaw to retain the titles.

Rating: D. This was short and sour like most matches from this point in time. The Acolytes would continue to dominate for awhile until losing the titles to the Hardys in a few weeks. The new champions would move on to feud with Edge and his new partner Christian, more or less redefining tag team wrestling for years to come.

Here’s what’s left of the Union (a stable of four guys that lasted a month) to receive their blank checks from Austin. Big Show does the smart thing and demands a title match with Undertaker TONIGHT. That gets the crowd going all over again. Shamrock is mad about what Vince did, so the match with Jarrett is out and now it’s Vince in the Lion’s Den against him. Oh dear.

This leaves Test, who says there’s only one person he wants to be in the ring with tonight: Stephanie McMahon. We cut to Vince and Shane in the back who PANIC. Stephanie is all of 22 at this point and looking beyond awkward at this point. Test ASKS HER OUT and she says yes, sending her father and brother into fits in the back. There’s a summer long angle for you.

HHH puts his cast on.

X-Pac/Kane vs. Shane McMahon

X-Pac starts and lets Shane get in a few free shots before taking him to the corner for a BIG beating. Shane runs to the floor but gets kicked in the face for being a coward. Cue the Mean Street Posse in Mankind masks to save Shane and throw the match out, but here are Patterson and Brisco to throw them into the ring for an X-Factor and a chokeslam. This was barely a “match”. Pete Gas gets a Bronco Buster and Rodney gets tombstoned.

Cole is in the back with Debra who wants to change the title match tonight to a bikini contest. If Nicole wins, she gets a title match next week. If Debra wins, Nicole has to leave the puppies alone. Yeah whatever.

HHH vs. The Rock

This is a cast match with HHH’s leg and Rock’s arm in casts. HHH broke the knee of Mankind and the arm of the Rock which is where Austin got the idea from. Rock has a good right arm here so he pounds HHH into the corner but HHH has no balance at all because of his cast. A DDT puts HHH down and it’s time for a chair. JR takes shots at WCW and there’s a chair to HHH’s back. There’s the Rock Bottom and the chair goes over HHH’s face for the People’s Elbow, but Undertaker comes in for the save. I’m guessing that’s a no contest. It’s Rock vs. Undertaker for the title at King of the Ring.

Undertaker tombstones Rock on the chair but Big Show chases Undertaker off.

Time for the bikini contest. What do you want me to say here? Debra is a decent looking woman and when Nicole Bass walks through the woods, Bigfoot takes pictures of her. Debra wins in a landslide and Val Venis comes out to stand up for Nicole. He tells her to hit Jeff Jarrett with the guitar but gets laid out by an errant shot. Val wakes up and yells at Nicole, resulting in Bass dumping her. Val chases after her in a bizarre segment.

We get GTV (basically a hidden camera segment where a never named videographer (it was supposed to be Goldust I believe) would spy on people) of PMS making fun of various men. Nothing to see here.

Billy Gunn vs. Godfather

Apparently Billy hit Godfather with a chair on Heat for some reason. Godfather comes out all aggressive to start and punches Billy into the corner before hitting some knees to the ribs. The announcers talk about the PMS bit despite NOTHING BEING SAID. Godfather loads up the Ho Train but gets low bridged to the floor instead. During the ten count, Road Dogg, who has recently broken up with Billy, comes in and gives him a pumphandle sla. Godfather comes in and drops a leg for the fast pin. Just build for Dogg vs. Gunn, which wound up going nowhere because, amazingly enough, no one wanted to see them fight.

Droz vomits in the back.

Hardcore Title: Darren Drozdov vs. Al Snow

Snow is defending and they never even go into the ring. They immediately fight into the crowd and use whatever weapons just happen to be lying around, like chairs and trashcans because this is HARDCORE after all. They fight up to what looks like a sports bar in the arena and things start getting WACKY! I think you can figure it out from here: pool cues, chairs, drinks, a sculpture goes upside Droz’s head and Snow retains. Seriously, that’s the whole match.

Ken Shamrock vs. Vince McMahon

This is a Lion’s Den Match, which means they’re in a small cage next to the stage. On the way to the ring, Vince says he isn’t afraid. Vince gets in first and locks the cage door. Shamrock tries to get in but as he does, Jarrett comes up and blasts him with a chair, giving Vince the win by TKO. Again, seriously, that’s the whole match.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Big Show

Man they’re booking tonight. Taker jumps the challenger in the corner before he even takes the belt off but Big Show clotheslines him down. A suplex puts Taker down again for two and there’s a HARD whip into the corner by Big Show. Taker is whipped into the corner and stomped down as this is almost all Big Show so far. Taker fights back with right hands but a single headbutt puts him right back down.

They both grab chokeslams but Taker uses a Paul Bearer distraction to kick Big Show low. A flying clothesline puts Big Show down and Taker stomps away, sending Big Show out to the floor. Show blocks a shot into the steps and sends the champion face first into them instead. A headbutt staggers Undertaker and there’s a big right hand. Taker escapes a posting attempt and sends Big Show head first into the post to get himself a breaker. Show is slammed into the announce table and it’s chair time.

The chair is cracked over Big Show’s back and somehow the referee didn’t notice it. I love how that works. Taker pounds away on the floor and rakes away at his eyes for good measure. Back in and Undertaker goes up top which can’t end well for him. Big Show catches him in mid air and chokeslams Undertaker THROUGH THE RING. The match is thrown out for obvious reasons.

Rating: C. The match was nothing of note but obviously that wasn’t the point here. The idea was to show that Undertaker was vulnerable and to make Big Show look all the more awesome which I think they safely did. This would be one of the more famous spots in the history of the show and would be nominated for biggest spot ever at some anniversary show.

Post match the Ministry runs in and is quickly dispatched to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. If you’re watching this for wrestling, you’re better off with Nitro. If you’re watching this for drama, you’re in Heaven. This was ALL storyline and that made it a very fast two hours. The Higher Power reveal is one of the dumbest moments of all time, but man alive is it FUN when you actually watch it. The whole story is still the epitome of Russo booking with how intricate it was, but again when you think about if for very long at all it comes falling down. The Undertaker reign of terror would be done in about a month or so.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Here’s a preview from the Wrestlemania 15 redo which sums up the Attitude Era:

We recap HHH vs. Kane. Chyna had turned on DX and joined the Corporation I believe late last year. A few weeks before this she was holding HHH for a fireball shot from Kane, only to take it herself. HHH standing up for the honor of his friend who isn’t his friend anymore because she turned on him. As an act of friendship, HHH painted himself gold and wore a flowery robe while imitating a crossdresser and launched a flamethrower at Kane, burning him again.  Later in the show, Chyna would turn on Kane and reunite with HHH, only to have BOTH of them turn HALF AN HOUR LATER to join the Corporation.

This of course is REAL entertainment, unlike what we got on Monday night right?  Oh wait Cena sometimes makes jokes aimed at ten year olds so he isn’t entertaining right?  Clearly it’s time to turn him heel, like everyone else in the Attitude Era did, sometimes more than once an hour!

Royal Rumble 1999
Date: January 24, 1999
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 14,816
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

As much as last year’s show was a necessary evil, this show is just evil in general. The company is firing on all cylinders right now but it’s much more about drama than anything else. Mankind won the world title in a shocker 20 days before this, beating the Rock in an impromptu match on Raw. Tonight is the rematch in an I Quit match, which is the only match Mankind knows he can’t lose to Rock. It turns out to be one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever seen in wrestling. Also the Rumble is nothing but a backdrop for Austin vs. Vince, which isn’t a good thing either. Let’s get to it.

Luckily for me, I’ve been reviewing the Raw’s leading up to this show, so the stories will actually be fresh in my mind for a change.

This version opens with some interviews by guys in the Rumble, talking about how the bounty on Austin (Vince has offered $100,000 to whoever knocks Austin out) has them extra fired up. Chyna getting #30 is also discussed.

Opening video is what you would expect. Also the theme song for this show is No Chance, which would become Vince’s theme song after tonight. The idea is that Austin is #1 in the Rumble and Vince is #2, meaning if Austin wants to go to Wrestlemania, he has to run the gauntlet.

Big Boss Man vs. Road Dogg

Roadie is Hardcore Champion but this is non-title and a regular match. Dang it I forgot Boss Man is a tag champion here so I can’t call one of them a champion. Boss Man runs the ropes to start so Roadie tells him to suck it. The fans get on Boss Man so he shoves Road Dogg into the corner and pounds away. The Big guy misses a splash in the corner and Dogg pounds away. The announcers ask a very good question: why isn’t this for the title? Vince could make it for the title if he wanted, but instead he makes it non-title? Why?

Anyway, Road Dogg crotches Boss Man on the post to take over but gets knocked to the floor by an elbow. Back in and Boss Man pounds away but Dogg steps on his foot to escape. That lasts for about five seconds as Boss Man kicks him in the face to take over again. We hit the bearhug and Boss Man thrusts his hips into Dogg’s crotch. There’s an image I certainly didn’t need.

Dogg bites his way out of the hold but gets kneed right back down. The buckle pad is taken off and Boss Man gets two off a spinebuster. Boss Man wins a brief slugout and chokes away again. Lawler cheers for Boss Man but Dogg grabs a sleeper to get himself a breather. Boss Man goes up for some reason and is slammed down almost immediately. Dogg comes back with his usual and gets two off the shaky knee, but the Boss Man Slam ends this out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. Meh. That’s the only word that came to my head after watching this. At the end of the day, when the Outlaws play things seriously, they get pretty dull. Boss Man was fine in this role and he played it as he always did, but that doesn’t mean he should be having twelve minute matches with the Road Dogg. Not a bad match at all, but I don’t quite get why it existed.

We get a quick recap of Billy Gunn vs. Shamrock. Gunn hit on Ryan Shamrock (Ken’s sister) and Ken snapped, giving Billy a title shot for some reason as a result.

Intercontinental Title: Billy Gunn vs. Ken Shamrock

Surprisingly enough Gunn is the aggressor to start but Ken is a bit of a better ground fighter, giving himself control. Billy comes back with a clothesline on the double (tag/IC) champion as things slow down. A suplex gets two for Gunn but he misses a charge into the corner, allowing Ken to fire off some kicks. Ken fires off more kicks to the chest and back of Gunn and gets two off a spinwheel kick.

Billy comes back out of nowhere with the yet to be named Fameasser to buy himself a breather. He pounds away in the corner but Shamrock dumps him to the floor before pounding Billy into the barricade. The beating continues as Gunn is sent into a chair to keep Shamrock in control. They fight to the apron where Gunn makes a quick comeback, hitting a kind of Stroke into the announce table.

Back in and Shamrock goes right for the knee to take over. No ankle lock yet though as Ken busts out a Robinsdale Crunch of all things. Well if nothing else he has good taste in leg moves. For those of you younger people, it’s basically Shamrock wrapping his legs around Billy’s leg and crushing it between his own knees/legs. A HARD kick to the head puts Billy down again and we hear about Billy’s bad ankle from Raw. Not that he has tape on it or has been limping for the first ten minutes of the match or anything, but apparently he has a bad ankle.

Billy comes back with a clothesline but the referee is bumped. Cue Val Venis who also has issues with Shamrock to DDT the champion, giving Billy a two count. Gunn pounds away but goes up (with a bad ankle because he’s an idiot) and crashes on the ankle. Ankle lock and we’re done.

Rating: D+. Too long here and the Venis thing didn’t change anything at all. Billy’s ankle injury was pretty stupid because you didn’t really need the stuff from Raw to set up what happened here. Shamrock got a solid midcard push around this time and even had some cups of upper midcard coffee (only $5.95 at Starbucks!). The Corporation and DX would keep feuding for a few more months.

Shane fires Vince up in the back.

European Title: Gangrel vs. X-Pac

The vampire is challenging. This is another of those matches that is there so they can have another title match on the card, meaning there’s no story that I can think of. Road Dogg might have gotten a blood bath recently but that’s about it. They hit the ropes very quickly to start with Pac grabbing an armdrag to take over. Gangrel grabs a headlock but they speed things up almost immediately again.

Pac hits a quick legdrop but misses a kick in the corner to shift momentum again. We hit the chinlock to give the guys an earned breather. The champ fights up and gets thrown into the air for two. Gangrel misses a top rope elbow and Pac gets two off his jumping clothesline. A big spinwheel kick takes Gangrel down again and X-Pac hits the Bronco Buster.

The third spinwheel kick in about four minutes takes Gangrel down, but Pac gets crotched on the top, continuing a theme tonight. Pac tries a cross body but Gangrel rolls him through for a botched near fall by referee Teddy Long (he countered three but Pac’s shoulder was up). Not that it matters as the X Factor retains the title a few seconds later.

Rating: C+. Referee’s botch aside, this was a nice surprise. Gangrel is hardly known for his in ring abilities but he looked pretty good out there tonight. Pac was better here against a smaller guy as usual, and we got a good match out of it. After the two longer and not great matches earlier, this was a nice pick up.

DX says they’re united tonight but the $100,000 bounty makes it every man (Chyna: “And woman”) for themselves. Billy was nowhere to be seen here for some reason.

Here’s Shane to be ring announcer for the next match for no apparent reason.

Women’s Title: Luna Vachon vs. Sable

Scratch that ring announcer line as apparently he’s here to accept Sable’s forfeiture of the title. This was supposed to be a strap match which had a total of 18 seconds of build on Raw. That’s not an exaggeration either. They came out during another match and that was the only mention. Luna attacked Sable on Heat before the show tonight and injured the champ’s back, but Sable wants to fight anyway.

This is the four corners variety so Sable can look TOUGH here. Sable shoves her into the corner and whips Luna to the floor. She keeps whipping Luna and gets three corners but Luna makes the stop. We get more choking and whipping before Luna drags Sable around with both of them getting the buckles at the same time. You know, like in every other strap match EVER. Shane gets up on the apron before Sable gets the buckle, but Sable’s psycho fan Tori uses the distraction to deck Luna, giving sable the win.

Rating: D. Sable was insanely over back in 98, but at this point it was starting to wear thin. I always felt sorry for Luna who never got to win the Women’s Title. She really would have been a good choice for an evil chick for some blonde heroine to beat, but instead we got worthless lumps like Jackie. Nothing to see here but it could have been worse.

The Corporation says it’s everyone for themselves.

We recap Rock vs. Mankind, which we’ve covered already. Rock lost the title on January 4 on Raw so he wanted a rematch. Mankind kept saying no until Rock said he’d quit trying, which Mankind immediately accepted. The idea is that Mankind has never quit and has been through so much punishment that there’s nothing Rock can do to beat him.

Rock says that he isn’t just some other guy to Mankind, and he’s going to be the first man to make Mankind give up. If you’ve never seen it and have a stomach for blood, I can highly recommend the documentary Beyond the Mat, which is about the behind the scenes world in the WWF and this match is a focus of the film. This promo was being filmed by the documentary cameras and Mankind was about three feet from Rock here. More on this later.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mankind

I Quit rules here. Rock is in his workout gear, which means his male breast enlargement surgery scars haven’t quite healed yet. There isn’t a single bit of sarcasm or humor in that statement. Mankind is defending and had to fight on Heat against the 500lb Mabel. Also the champ has recently gotten his most well known theme song, but it’s still the original version here which doesn’t have the clapping in it yet.

Mankind takes over early and hits his running knee to Rock’s head in the corner. He pounds away on Rock but Rock isn’t ready to quit yet. Some mic shots to the head keep Rock down but he still won’t say it. The Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor but Rock gets in a shot to take over. They head to the commentary desk where Rock talks some trash to King before getting hit in the back by a chair.

Back in and there’s the double arm DDT from the champ. Mr. Socko makes an appearance to put the Claw on Rock. King: “But you can’t talk with your mouth full!” The hold puts Rock out, meaning he can’t say he quits. Not the smartest move in the world there Mick. We brawl into the crowd but Rock hits a kind of suplex to take them back to ringside. There’s the bell ringing spot (Rock puts the bell on Mankind’s head and rings said bell) before singing a bit as only Rock can pull off in the middle of a match.

Rock loads up the Rock Bottom on the table but it gives way, crashing them to the floor. They slug it out some more and head up the aisle where Mankind clotheslines Rock down. Up to the tech area now and Rock hits the snap DDT onto the concrete. It’s ladder time (almost kind of foreshadowing in a way) but Rock gets crushed underneath it before he can use it. Mankind misses an elbow drop onto the ladder and both guys are down again.

Rock sets up the ladder next to the tech area and they climb up to a ledge in front of a balcony. The slugout ensues and Mankind is knocked off the ledge and onto the electrical stuff which shoots sparks and knocks out the arena lights for a few seconds. Mankind is mostly dead on the floor so here’s Shane to come out and ask Rock to chill a bit. Rock says he’s going to make Mankind say he quits, but he won’t ask him. You know, because Mankind isn’t going to say it and Rock knows this. Cole of course doesn’t get it and whines for about five minutes about it.

We head back into the ring where Mankind is basically out on the mat. Cole: “How is Mick Foley standing?” HE’S FREAKING LAY…..never mind. It’s not worth trying to get through Cole’s thick head. Anyway, Rock finds some handcuffs and this is about to get bad. Rock starts pounding away at Mankind’s unprotected head. Somewhere in there the champ was busted open.

Mankind comes back with a pair of low blows and headbutts (remember his arms are handcuffed behind his back). Rock clotheslines him down….and grabs a chair. We get the Corporate Elbow on the chair on Mankind’s head, but that’s just the beginning. Mick won’t quit, so Rocky hits him in the head (remember, unprotected) twice with HARD chair shots. Here are three more to finally knock Mankind down and out to the floor.

Even Lawler says that’s enough, but Rock hits Mankind in the back and side of the head with the chair. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Rock has a clear shot at Mankind’s back but instead waits for him to stand up and hit him in the head again. ANOTHER shot (we’re up to about 12 now) to the head puts Foley down and Mankind SCREAMS that he quits. Note that Mankind isn’t moving an inch and there’s a noticeable echo to his voice which there hasn’t been all night. That would come into play on Raw the next night.

Rating: B. This is a REALLY hard one to grade because the last five minutes are nothing but disturbing. We saw a guy completely defenseless and having his head smashed in with a piece of metal by a world class athlete. Pre Benoit or post Benoit, that’s a completely unnecessary risk and a terrifying thing to see. I love these two fighting, but this was legitimately disturbing.

Again, if you’ve never seen it, check out Beyond the Mat. It shows Mankind’s wife and family in the audience in terror watching this, but you can only hear the sound of the chair shots. If it was a horror movie it would be absolutely chilling. Also it shows Foley in the back looking at himself after the beating and the first time he looks in a mirror he stops almost cold. This went WAY too far.

We recap the Rumble, which is literally all about Vince vs. Austin and Austin’s path back to the title which begins tonight. Vince keeps screwing Austin out of the title but he’s kept coming back to get another shot. That’s most of the year in a nutshell actually.

Earlier tonight Austin came in on a monster truck limo for no apparent reason. He got in Vince’s face earlier as well, resulting in the Stooges getting beaten up.

Royal Rumble

There’s a $100,000 bounty on Austin’s head and we have Austin at #1 and Vince at #2. I think you can see what’s coming from here. The intervals are 90 seconds here. Howard goes into a REALLY long winded explanation of the rules, causing Lawler to freak out on him. Vince of course takes the chance to show off his impressive physique. Austin immediately pounds away as Cole sums up Vince vs. Austin: “How often do you get to see an employee rip the CEO of a Fortune 500 company apart?”

Austin destroys Vince for a few moments with basic stuff until Golga is #3. There’s the Thesz Press and Golga slides in but Austin knocks him out in 15 seconds. Vince rolls to the floor and heads into the crowd with Austin chasing after him. They brawl (read as Austin punches him and Vince staggers away) up the crowd as there’s no one in the ring. Droz comes in at #4 with no one to fight. See, why did Golga have to be eliminated? It doesn’t sound great but having Droz vs. Golga is better than nothing.

Anyway, Vince and Austin brawl into the back and into a ladies’ room where the Corporation jumps Austin. Naturally the camera feed is lost so we don’t see what actually happens. We come back to the arena to see Droz just standing there. The years away from meaning anything Edge is #5 to actually give us some action. After about 45 seconds, Gillberg is #6. The hilarious entrance takes forever and Edge dumps him in about five seconds.

We cut back to the bathroom and Austin is out cold on the floor. Steve Blackman is #7 as the low level stuff continues. I mean, at the end of the day NO ONE in the ring at the moment is going to be bought as a serious contender here. Austin is being treated by EMTs as Blackman fires off kicks to Edge. Dan Severn and his wet t-shirt are #8. He and Blackman have the WWF style MMA fight as we see Austin on a stretcher. That’s about the fourth time we’ve cut to Austin and away from the ring.

Tiger Ali Singh (think an Indian Ted DiBiase with ZERO charisma) is #9 as we see the ambulance drive away. The five nothings in the ring continue to waste our time until Blue Meanie is #10. Again in way less than 90 seconds, there’s no #11. We cut to the back (running theme tonight) and see Mabel beating up Mosh to take his place in the match. He immediately dumps Severn and Blackman plus Singh. There go Meanie and Droz, leaving us with Edge, Mabel and Road Dogg who is #12. Road Dogg dumps Edge and there go the lights.

Taker’s music hits and we have the Acolytes and Mideon in the ring beating up Mabel. They dump him out, yet AGAIN leaving us with just one person standing there. Taker and Bearer pop up and stare down Mabel, apparently hypnotizing him, which would lead to Mabel becoming Viscera. Gangrel is #13 with his rocking entrance music. There goes Gangrel so we stand around a bit more.

Kurrgan is #14 and destroys Dogg with power stuff. Psycho Al Snow is #15 and helps double team Kurrgan. Snow tries to get on the ropes for more leverage and is immediately dumped by Dogg. Goldust is #16 and Kurrgan gets double teamed again. With the big man down, Roadie tries Shattered Dreames on Goldie. Kurrgan saves Goldust for no apparent reason and it’s Dogg that goes down instead.

Godfather is #17 but the Ho’s leave, ticking off the fans. After about 30 seconds of Godfather being in the ring, here’s Kane at #18 to FINALLY give us some star power. The ring is cleared in about 30 seconds and the place goes nuts for Kane. Since having Kane as a dominant monster to set up a showdown with another big name would be interesting, the people from the insane asylum come out to try to institutionalize Kane (just go with it), so he eliminates himself.

Shamrock is #19 with no one to fight. Vince comes back out to do commentary. Billy Gunn limps to the ring at #20 and is immediately taken down with a leg shot. The beating goes on for awhile until Test is #21. We cut to the back (AGAIN) to see Mabel being beaten into a hearse. An ambulance pulls up and it’s being drive by a certain bald headed Rattlesnake. Because clearly a guy can be beaten down, wake up less than 20 minutes later, get out of an ambulance bed, take over the ambulance, and get back to the arena in under half an hour.

Austin comes back to the ring as Boss Man is #22. Austin chases Vince around and into the ring but gets jumped by Shamrock. That’s it for Kenny so here’s HHH at #23, giving us three tall guys with long blonde hair. Billy goes after Austin for the sake of the money as Vince plays cheerleader. Vince tries not to slip into commentator mode as he talks about people wanting the money.

Val Venis is #24 and Austin dumps Billy. X-Pac is #25 and Val pounds on Austin. He kicks Steve to the floor as we’re just waiting on the Austin and Vince interaction. A spinwheel kick from Pac puts Austin down as Mark Henry is #26. Henry swings for Austin but decks Boss Man instead. Jeff Jarrett is #27 and nothing happens again. Pac kicks at a lot of people and hits the Bronco Buster on Boss Man.

In a somewhat famous bit, HHH is clearly heard asking Val if he can hang on if HHH throws him over the ropes. After that punch to kayfabe’s stomach, D’Lo Brown is #28. Austin dumps Test and X-Pac to give us some more mat space. Boss Man and Jarrett team up to try to eliminate Austin but he fights them off again. There goes Jarrett as Owen Hart is #29. Austin spits at Vince as the ring is way too full.

Chyna is #30, giving us a final group of Chyna, Austin, Vince, Boss Man, HHH, Venis, Henry, Brown, Hart and Chyna. Chyna manages to dump Henry but is knocked out almost immediately by Austin. HHH throws Val out to get us down to five. There’s a Stunner to dump HHH and get us down to five guys. Austin avoids a dropkick from Brown and they fight in the corner a bit.

Owen hits the enziguri on Austin and is backdropped out just a few seconds later. Boss Man takes Austin down and Brown hits the Low Down. Brown poses too long though and Boss Man tosses him, only to get tossed by Austin. We’re down to Austin vs. McMahon and the beating is on. Austin destroys Vince with a chair shot and the boss is in big trouble. We head back inside and Vince hits a quick low blow to give himself a breather. Austin comes back with the Stunner and beats on Vince until Rock comes out. Rock and Austin have their staredown, allowing Vince to dump Austin and win the Rumble.

Rating: F. No. This was a failure on every level. The premise was stupid, the execution was TERRIBLE, and Vince winning makes the whole thing a big joke. We had THREE part where the booking resulted in the ring being empty. Who in the world thought that was a goo….oh yeah this is still Russo Time. Absolutely horrible here and the worst Rumble of all time, pretty much by far.

Vince has a BIG celebration to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The Rumble SUCKED, the title match was decent, and the rest of the show was either bad or forgettable. That’s more or less 1999 in a nutshell. On top of that, this would all mean NOTHING by the next week, as we had Halftime Heat coming up to give Mankind the title back, as well as Vince forfeiting his title shot at Mania, resulting in Austin going anyway. Just awful overall.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man vs. Road Dogg

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Ken Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn

Original: D+

Redo: C+

X-Pac vs. Gangrel

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Sable vs. Luna Vachon

Original: F

Redo: D

The Rock vs. Mankind

Original: B

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: F

Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: D-

Redo: D

It still sucks.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-1999-please-make-it-stop/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Guilty As Charged 1999
Date: January 10, 1999
Location: Millennium Theater, Kissimmee, Florida
Attendance: 2,600
Commentator: Joey Styles

So tonight after about eight months of waiting too long, it’s FINALLY time for Shane vs. Taz. The main problem here is simple: until this point, no one bought for a second that anyone but Taz was going to take the belt off of Shane, so there was no point in caring about any other challenger.

The other issue was Taz wasn’t nearly as hot anymore. RVD was arguably the hottest guy on the roster but after the WAY long build for Taz, he had to have the belt at least 3-4 months. Other than that there’s not a lot here. Dreamer vs. Credible in a Stairway to Hell ladder match and that’s about it. Let’s get to 1999 in ECW.

Heyman thanks us for buying the event. He says the card has to be changed and Tanaka and Lynn won’t be working tonight, so instead of Tanaka vs. RVD and Lynn vs. Storm and Spike we get Storm vs. Van Dam. I like them just flat out telling us. It’s a nice little touch as the reality is simple: bad stuff happens sometimes and you have to deal with it at times. Good for Paul to just flat out say it.

Joey says ECW is Guilty as Charged. Doesn’t say what they’re guilty of but whatever.

Cue theme song.

Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. Full Blooded Italians

Doring and Roadkill don’t even get an entrance on PPV. That’s saying a lot about them I’d say. It’s Smothers and Guido in case you were wondering. Not a terrible choice for an opener I guess. Joey goes silent for a long time for no apparent reason. The arena setup is really weird as the ramp is coming from the bottom as opposed to the side. And here are Rotten and Mahoney.

Apparently this is now a three way dance. Ah there’s Joey. I wonder if Rotten ever got annoyed with the music always being about Mahoney. Rotten says he hates this dancing stuff so now it’s a three way dance, meaning elimination rules. Well sure why not. Yep it’s chair shot time. There’s no one in the ring at all. Ah ok we have Mahoney and Smothers in there. The commentary is really quiet as it’s hard to hear Joey.

Of course there’s nothing resembling tagging or wrestling at all here so it’s ECW. Ok that’s not fair or true but you get the point. Apparently Roadkill screws sheep. The ring is REALLY loud. He puts Smothers down and in a move that literally has my mouth hanging open, Roadkill hits a top rope splash ¾ across the ring. That was IMPRESSIVE.

And the Italians put out Roadkill and Doring with a double fisherman’s suplex. Rotten has been nowhere to be seen for a LONG time now. Oh there he is on the apron. Both freaky looking guys hit their finishers on the Italians to end it. They add a pair of SICK chair shots for the heck of it.

Rating: D+. Just way too short to mean anything here. It was beat up one guy, go for a finisher, counter finisher, hit finisher, pin. The adding in of the Freaks helped too I think as it’s not like this was anything remotely resembling interesting otherwise so there’s nothing wrong with that. Still though just something to get the crowd going and it worked pretty well in that sense. Match was awful though.

Terry Funk is here to complain about Tommy Dreamer. Apparently this is about Jake Roberts for some reason. Yes I know the story behind it.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

Tajiri is in regular tights here and he looks weird like that. He looks YOUNG too. This should be fun if nothing else. Joey sums up Tajiri by saying he loves to kick. Yep that’s accurate. DANG they are freaking moving out there. That was awesome looking right there. Not huge on Tajiri completely no selling that spinning DDT but whatever. There’s that handspring elbow. I love that move.

Picture perfect Asai moonsault follows that up. SICK kick to Crazy’s head and a Tarantula follow that up. Awesome stuff. I always cringe whenever someone is put in a surfboard. That move is just freaking painful looking. This is awesome to say the least. They trade rollups but both guys just get two. It’s followed up by some insane strikes and counters that I can’t keep up with. Tajiri ends it with a Dragon Suplex (full nelson into a suplex pin).

Rating: A-. OH YES. Ok, now if this was what ECW meant by the best of the rest of the world, I get it. This was AMAZINGLY fun to watch. It’s about 11 minutes long which is perfect as both guys were starting to get a bit tired at the end so instead of sucking the life out of the place at the end they wrapped it up. This was awesome and fun. It was a spotfest and there isn’t a thing wrong with that. Incredibly entertaining match.

Come see us!

John Kronus vs. ???

Kronus has completely outlived his usefulness at this point and no one cares. Judge Jeff Jones debuts as the Judge instead of being the crooked referee that he had been for months prior to this. Considering Bill Clinton had a heart issue last night, his jokes about him are a bit touchy. He declares a bunch of people Guilty as Charged.

Apparently Kronus beat Jones up at a live show. He brings out Sid Vicious to beat the tar out of Kronus. Sid throws him through a table which more or less explodes. There’s a massive POWERBOMB chant. For the life of me I never got why Sid was so over but he always was to be fair. This might have lasted two minutes at most.

Rating: N/A. Well he’s a bigger deal than Jake Roberts if nothing else. Never been that big on him but he got a pop and a freaking half so there we go.

We recap Shane vs. Taz, including Taz vs. Sabu. Oh and Shane offered him Francine. She was hotter than given credit for. Sabu got his neck broken…again, by Taz. I guess this made more sense in context. Oh ok it was a plot by Taz to get into the ECW Title picture and drop the FTW belt. Got it.

Gertner and the Dudleys show up unannounced for no apparent reason. Clean shaven Bubba is odd looking. They’re only five time champions here. That’s odd indeed. Big Dick just growls at the camera. Nicely done. Gertner makes these shows, period. He’s the bacon in her eggs, the man for whom she begs and the face between her legs. He’s talking about Daisy Duck of all….well actually non people in this case.

I have a new favorite line from Gertner. When talking about Sign Guy: he’s pretty fly for a sign guy. Apparently Big Dick split open YOUR 42 year old mother and then gave it to her like a pair of 21 year old twins. Yep, I love Gertner. They call out anyone and they get a pretty bad answer.

Dudley Boys vs. New Jack/Spike Dudley

Oh great. IT’S THAT STUPID SONG!!! Spike is dressed like a gangsta. I hate my life. Two guesses as to what the primary focus of this match is. Go ahead and guess. BOY TAKE A FREAKING GUESS! Spike almost gets his head taken off by a shot with something made of metal. D-Von just unloads on New Jack. Spike is launched into the crowd and they body surf him back to the ring. You know ECW: always doing new stuff. And let’s just do it again!

The faces both have guitars and the heels both have chairs. Big Dick winds up taking both guitars. And New jack is freaking cheered for this stuff. They botch a 3D on the ramp so it looks like Jack splashes Bubba. He never even touches the ramp. Ok wait so a guitar being broken over the head of Dick does nothing but an Acid Drop puts him down. A good 3D ends Spike and thankfully that song too.

Post match the Dudleys just freaking kill New Jack with chair shots. They then talk about how they’ve destroyed every team in ECW history. He calls out Public Enemy for a match in six days. They actually did show up despite working for WCW at the time.

Rating: F-. I hate these things and I always have. Call it bias or whatever but guys like New Jack are a disgrace to the sport of pro wrestling and anything he’s involved in is a failure on the part of the booker for putting him on the card. He has no business in wrestling and should be in jail for attempted murder with the Grimes incident.

Big long RVD video package set to Walk. Nothing wrong with that. So instead of Tanaka it’s Storm vs. Van Dam. That could work quite well.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm

Dawn Marie isn’t human. She can’t be. Storm gets in a great line: he’s not the whole F’ing show but he’s the best part of it. Now Paul make sure you pay attention to the reaction that Van Dam gets, because you won’t be hearing anything like it in the main event. We get a LONG feeling out process that actually isn’t boring at all. I’ve always liked the way Storm threw punches for some reason. Storm gets the half crab which doesn’t mean anything yet.

Fonzie and Dawn (Tammy Lynn Bytch at the time but not a lot of people would get that name) go at it on the floor which lets Van Dam take over. SWEET superkick by Storm. Has to be the second best guy at that ever. We’re in the crowd now and in probably one of the five sickest bumps I’ve ever seen, Van Dam gets a reverse DDT onto the floor. No protection at all and he just slams into it.

Storm is WAY underrated in the ring. This has been solid stuff so far, but I’d like more in ring stuff. Storm is a Canadian bad boy apparently. Van Dam more or less cuts a promo in the middle of the match. That’s just awesome. Ah there we go. We’re back in the ring. I don’t mind the insane stuff as long as it winds up being about wrestling. Van Dam goes for the Van Daminator (why can’t he go for coffee or lunch instead?) but Storm jumps away. WHAT A BRILLIANT IDEA!!!

It connects the second time and Storm is out cold. Oh ok he was faking. The referee takes a SWEET looking Van Daminator. After Fonzie interferes, a Van Daminator from the top gets two. The quick taunts from Van Dam are what set him apart I think. Like I’ve said before, the playing to the crowd is a signature of the all time greats like Austin, Rock, Sting, Hogan and Flair. In a very surprising finish, we get a wrestling sequence and Van Dam gets the CLEAN pin with a nice German suplex. I greatly approve.

Rating: B. Good stuff here but the overbooking and interference hurt it a bit. This was one of those matches where both guys could definitely bring it and they did here. The ending worked very well too as Van Dam beat him with his own game. What more can you ask for? Solid stuff.

We recap Dreamer vs. Credible which is because of Funk apparently taking Credible under his wing. So yeah, it’s about Funk vs. Dreamer again, which never had the blowoff because Funk headed to WCW.

Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer

You know if you cut Nicole Bass’ head off she’d look good. Jazz, who doesn’t have a name yet, is also with Credible. This is a Stairway to Hell match, meaning there is barbed wire hanging over the ring and you need a ladder to get to it. I love Man in the Box. I just do. What in the world is the appeal of Justin? I have never gotten that at all. We get a weird shot from across where the cameras would be to see the ladder. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before.

Tommy finally brings the ladder into play as this has been all brawling anyway. The fans want Funk apparently. For a good while it’s all Dreamer and that’s over already. Do you think four people with Justin is enough? Dreamer has a bad arm now too. All of Justin’s entourage helps him out and down goes Tommy. I JUST SAID THAT JOEY!!! I didn’t think it was possible but Jazz is somehow more annoying than she would be in WWE.

It’s all Justin at this point as he just beats the living tar out of Tommy with all kinds of stuff. Tommy makes his comeback and of course here’s Funk because according to Heyman, Credible isn’t allowed to lose. That’s Incredible, which in this case is a powerslam, onto a ladder ends it. I know this is supposed to be an epic storyline and whatnot but I just couldn’t care less at all.

Rating: D. This whole thing was so that Funk could screw over Tommy. I didn’t need a 20 minute beating and Jazz/Nicole screaming to get to that point. Just a waste of time that I wanted to end after about five minutes or so.

Some guy named Stephen Prazak (has to be related to Dave in ROH somehow) interviews Taz. This reaches Rock and Coach levels of insulting. How did Taz go from this to the raving idiot he is now.

Shane says he’s not ready to lose the belt. That’s so funny because it’s supposed to be in character.

ECW World Title: Shane Douglas vs. Taz

Oh and to be clear: Shane has a broken wrist so Taz won’t win deservingly no matter what he does. Ok, before we get into this, let’s get this out of the way. In my eyes, it was this feud that officially killed ECW. Shane should have dropped the belt at least six months ago to Taz who would then be able to drop it to RVD who was the hottest thing in the company and also the best wrestler in the company.

For those of you that don’t know, Taz wins the belt here and holds it until September when he goes to WWF. The problem was that by this time, no one cared about Taz at all. RVD was the popular guy but instead of putting the belt on him like the money would have been in, as that by this time, no one cared about Taz at all.

RVD was the popular guy but instead of putting the belt on him like the money would have been in, he belt more or less had to go to Taz since he had chased it for a year now. Shane should have dropped it in like August and this should be Van Dam vs. Taz for it, but instead by the time Taz dropped it, ECW was dead in the water anyway.

Overall Rat….oh that’s right we still have a match to go. They’re trying to make this seem epic but both guys are more or less done as far as meaning anything in the ring at this point. Taz is ok but the people are just rather apathetic to him at this point. We get a conversation with either production or security guys which is always interesting.

They’re out in the crowd now, meaning more time that the inevitable can’t happen. No one on the planet thinks Shane has a chance here but I guess it has to be made out to be epic right? We’re still in the crowd, which is a very annoying one this time. OH GOOD NIGHT JUST GO TO THE FREAKING RING!!! This is so freaking stupid. We can barely see them as they’re just brawling.

This has been going on for nearly 10 minutes. Shane is bleeding and we’re BACK IN THE RING! Oh look, it’s a table. Taz goes through it as I think watching a test pattern might be more interesting. Shane goes through a table. This is just dull. And now we have no lights. Sabu appears, complete with pyro (in ECW?). He beats up both guys for not apparent reason other than Taz breaking his neck and Shane putting Taz up to it. At least it makes sense.

Pretty impressive that a guy with a broken neck can beat up two professional wrestlers. Shane calls for the Triple Threat and here’s Tammy (Sunny). You know what that means. Candido is here and he turns on Shane, I guess going face? That sets up the Tazmission which of course Shane is allowed to escape for a second before it’s locked on again and Shane passes out. Was that supposed to be Austin/Hart again or something?

Rating: D+. And that’s being VERY generous. This match was 22 minutes long. Of that, 12 were brawling in the crowd, three were Sabu doing his thing, two were Candido running in and 5 were actual wrestling. That’s the EPIC match though right? This could have been good, but seriously, there was enough time spent just “brawling” in the crowd to have the main event of Mania 9. Steamboat beat Savage in about as much time as they brawled in the crowd. See what I mean?

Overall Rating: C-. This show tried. I can’t take that away from it at all. This show had some thought and effort put into it and that helps a lot. However, some of the stuff here was just flat out bad. There is some very good stuff in here, but there’s too much brawling to make it great. A problem with ECW is that they tried to substitute brawling and violence for storytelling and wrestling and that can’t work long term.

Two of the last three matches were brawling and a moment at the end with nothing else going on. This is indeed better than most of the shows that ECW has had lately, but still the last hour of this show just bored me to tears. Check it out, but have a remote in hand to fast forward it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Backlash: In Your House #28
Date: April 25, 1999
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 10,939
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final show and not a lot has changed. We’re getting a few Wrestlemania rematches here as Austin is defending against the Rock again while Mankind is facing Big Show in a boiler room brawl. Other than that we have the fully heel HHH facing X-Pac in a match for revenge. For once, the name of the show fits the theme perfectly. Let’s get to it.

Also on the card tonight, Undertaker faces Shamrock as we have the Ministry vs. what would become the Union. Also it’s HHH vs. X-Pac as Pac tries to get revenge on HHH for costing him the European Title and we all know how important that belt was. Let’s get going.

Standard intro and I use that term in every sense of the word. There’s nothing special about it at all. Shane is the referee for the main event tonight and it’s no holds barred. If Austin touches Shane he loses the title.

The Brood vs. The Ministry

Ministry is the Acolytes and Mideon. The Brood got thrown out of the Ministry after Christian was tortured into saying where Stephanie, who Taker had kidnapped, was located. It’s kind of amazing that 4/6 of these guys would one day be world champions. It’s your standard power vs. speed match as you still have three groups fighting with each other with the Corporation, the Ministry and Vince’s people.

The announcers try to make it seem that Shamrock can make Taker give up. That’s just flat out funny. Gangrel and Midieon just need to go away, and I mean FAR away. Edge and Christian vs. the APA could be a good tag match. They’re given over ten minutes to work with and it pays off as we get a solid six man tag match.

The Brood, who are the closest thing to faces we have in this match, start to take over here until Viscera comes out and screws everything up. Even when he’s not wrestling he makes matches worse which has got to be some kind of talent. Anyway JBL clotheslines Edge to win it.

Rating: B. I liked it for some reason. It was a great choice for an opener as it showcased the future talent very well. Edge and Christian just shine so brightly here that it’s unbelievable. Both guys were destined to be stars and you can see it in them. JBL was ok and Simmons is fine as always. The other two guys just flat out sucked in every sense of the word.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Hardcore Holly

This is your rematch from two months ago. This is going to be a short review as it’s as standard of a hardcore match as you’ll find for the most part. They hit each other with things that you’d find under any ring: chairs, tables, hockey sticks, stairs etc. They fight in the crowd for a bit then go back to the ring where more weapons are used for no apparent reason. Then we go to the back which is where the somewhat more entertaining stuff happens.

They beat on each other for awhile with Holly trying to use a kitchen sink on Snow in a joke that’s just not funny anymore and I don’t think it ever has been in the first place. Snow counters this with a fire hose. They brawl out into the parking lot and in a funny sequence they keep throwing each other into a car where the car alarm goes off each time. We fight to the production truck which is just weird looking. Elbow onto a car in a cool looking spot and we fight some more.

FINALLY we get some blood as Snow is opened up. Of course now we go back to the ring for more fighting. I was hoping for an intellectual discussion on 18th century Russian literature. Great looking table spot off of a top rope suplex. A shot from Head finally ends it.

Rating: B. I liked it again. This was a fun match with no one really being able to take advantage the whole time. It was all about big spots here and it was quite successful in that regard. Definitely a solid match here with Snow finally getting the title that he’d been chasing for months on end.

Taker talks about the higher power which was one of my favorite angels of all time.

Intercontinental Title: Goldust vs. Godfather

For no reason at all, Godfather was given the IC Title 6 days earlier. It’s considered to be his reign that likely killed off the title for good until Jericho, Benoit and Angle almost saved it. He has 8 women with him as we cater to the 13 year olds in the audience. This is a comedy match but not a particularly good one.

Meanie keeps interfering and Godfather keeps beating on him. The “raging climax” (rep for the person that gets that joke) is that the gold boy gets powder thrown in his eyes and can’t see who he’s beating on. Therefore Meanie has his dreams shattered. Goldust gets Pimp Dropped and pinned.

Rating: D. This was just a dumb period in the company as they were obviously booking on the fly with no real sense of direction other than in the main event. Seriously, GODFATHER as IC Champion? In what universe does that even begin to make sense? This was 5 minutes of nothing at all.

There’s talk of a primetime special on Thursday called Smackdown. More on that later.

Snow and Head are talking and apparently Head thinks he/she should be hardcore champion as head was covering Holly.

New Age Outlaws vs. Jeff Jarrett/Owen Hart

Owen would pass away less than a month later and that’s just a scary thought. Winner of this gets X-Pac and Kane on Smackdown. Now don’t have a bunch of heart attacks, but the commentators are talking ABOUT DEBRA!!! How in the world did we not see this coming? I mean really, Debra is NEVER the object of conversation when she’s out there. That simply can’t happen ever can it? I mean it’s not like she’s in lingerie with a coat over it or anything like that.

Other than the nonsense of her overly curvy looks that don’t even look good like that, this wrestling here is actually decent. The Outlaws as I’ve been saying for awhile aren’t that bad in the ring. Now they’re no Harts or Bulldogs, but they’re better than they’re given credit for being.

After about 10 minutes here, it breaks into a moderately decent brawl with your ending being a double submission from the heels. Jarrett can’t get the figure four on so Gunn lands a Fameasser on Owen for the pin. Oh and Road Dogg coined the phrase Puppies a few weeks before this if you were wondering.

Rating: C+. The wrestling here really was pretty solid all around. The commentating was absolutely annoying though. I mean it was driving me absolutely crazy. Seriously, WE GET IT. There are other women with good looks that you can see without the bra on. It’s called Playboy. Anyway, the match was pretty good and I get more and more impressed by Roadie every time I watch his matches. The guy just works hard every time.

Shane and Vince say they don’t like each other. A VERY young Steph says nothing of importance.

JR mentions that Shane doesn’t want Austin to leave with the title around his neck. That makes sense in some realm of logic I guess.

Boiler Room Brawl: Big Show vs. Mankind

Now here’s your REAL hardcore match. These guys nearly kill each other and this is perfect for someone like Foley. They fought at Mania and Show nearly killed him. Now we’re putting them in Foley’s environment where Show’s size and power can be negated by some good old fashioned weapons. They just absolutely kill each other in there but there’s one spot that I can’t believe even Foley did.

Show throws him through some glass and a large piece about 3 inches long and jagged is hanging over Foley’s head. That’s just absolutely dangerous no matter who you are. I know it wasn’t intentional because Show saw it and almost immediately pulled Foley away for stomping. The big issue with this match is simple though. The original with Taker and Foley was nearly half an hour. This one is less than 8 minutes.

That’s just killing this thing. Mankind launches some hot gas at Show to blind him then just beats the living tar out of him and leaves to win. Test and Bossman beat him down but Foley fights them off.

Rating: B. This was great in the time that it had. However, at 7 minutes and 40 seconds what can you really expect? It was brutal in the time that it had but it’s begging for about 5-10 more minutes. If you give it that, you’re looking at one of the better hardcore matches I’ve ever seen. Given what it has though, this was just above average which is a shame.

HHH says he’s going to kill X-Pac. Man I hope so.

HHH vs. X–Pac

This is the fallout from Mania where we had the at least triple turn that I don’t even remember because it was just absurd and one of Russo’s “masterpieces”. Anyway, the idea here is that Pac has a bad neck and somehow the Pedigree is going to further injure him which really makes limited sense at best. Anyway, the opening is Pac going insane on HHH and just trying to hurt him in any way he can.

This part is ok but nothing special really. What are you expecting here? X-Pac just doesn’t have a huge offensive set to work with so why should he be able to make something like that work well? HHH takes over and dominates most of the match which makes sense as he was by far the more established guy and worker at the time. He dominates the majority of the match while just never being able to put Pac away.

The match slows for a rest hold but in this case that is ok as it plays into some psychology. If X-Pac’s neck is hurt, cranking on it in a chinlock is going to hurt it even more. HHH even breaks out a Dragon Sleeper. Now what do the Japanese fans think? Is this some kind of a paradox for them or something? Anyway, after a huge comeback, X-Pac misses a baseball slide and wipes out the referee who apparently can’t take a punch to save his life as he’s down for almost 5 minutes from this.

Chyna beats up Pac but Kane comes out to save his partner and it’s chokeslams a go-go. He leaves and both Continent-girl (wearing a thong) and HHH get Bronco Busters. The referee comes back in just in time for the Pedigree and the pin to end this.

Rating: A-. This is without a doubt the best X-Pac match I have ever seen. These guys gave it everything they had out there and nearly killed each other. Kane made sense out there and in the end the right guy won which pushed HHH harder while at the same time making X-Pac look better than he ever would have been on his own.

That being said, he was working his head off in this match which is more than he usually did. Very good match which had me unsure of who was going to win until the very end.

Ken Shamrock vs. Undertaker

Basically just Ministry vs. non-Ministry here. Very Satanic looking Taker here which is always creepy. This is actually an interesting idea as we hear about the Ultimate Fighting and Octagon of Shamrock. They slug it out early on as Shamrock is in trouble early on.

The fans want Ryan and I can’t blame her as she’s gorgeous to put it mildly. The announcers talking about Vince and Stephanie and Taker is awesome as the payoff was coming soon. Shamrock goes back to his game and works the leg. This is rather an interesting pairing and I’m into the concept here.

Taker gets a belly to back for two. Out of nowhere Shamrock gets a leg bar and Taker is in big trouble. Basic formula here: Taker punches Shamrock, Shamrock gets a hold, Taker gets out and punches again. Repeat this about 19 times in a row. Taker gets his leg crushed on the steps and is in big trouble here.

They slug it out and Taker hooks a drop toehold for some ground and pound of all things. Fujiwara armbar and Taker has to go for the ropes. The fans are hardly thrilled here due to this being a far different style than they were expecting. Back to the floor (is that the anthem of the Attitude Era?) and Shamrock’s back eats post.

Taker hooks on a Bow and Arrow since he wants to play UFC here I guess. I love how Taker is supposed to suddenly be able to go out there and trade submissions with a legit submission master all of a sudden when he never has before. That some off as stupid to anyone else?

Leg drop with less elevation than Hogan hits but Shamrock grabs a leg lock and more booing. And of course Taker counters that into a leg lock of his own. Well of course he does. Shamrock gets his standing rana which looks good usually and did here as well. Ankle lock goes on for a second but Taker breaks free.

Ankle lock goes on again but Bradshaw comes down with a ball bat and pops Shamrock with it. Chokeslam is countered into an armbar in a SWEET counter. Shamrock goes for a tombstone and I think you know the rest.

Rating: C-. This is a very interesting match that you either loved or hated. If you like MMA and technical stuff this was great. If you like wrestling you hated this match. Shamrock did about 80% leg work here which was fine as his finisher is an ankle hold, but seeing Taker doing that stuff never really worked for me back in the day. It’s ok but just a weird dynamic of a match.

Bradshaw beats up Shamrock afterwards. Ross says the guys went over the edge. Hmm I wonder where that could lead.

Yep, next up we have a promo for Over the Edge which is of Taker talking about being the personification of evil. That’s got to be an in joke there.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Rock has stolen the Smoking Skull belt for no apparent reason other than reminding us he’s a heel despite playing to the crowd a lot. I don’t think anyone believed that Austin was losing here but it’s a lot like his first defense against Foley: it was designed to give the heel just a glimmer of hope but also make Austin look awesome. The build up to this match was just flat out awesome.

They beat the heck out of each other and the Smoking Skull belt was the big point of it. Austin had the title made for himself just because he felt like it and Vince stole it and gave it to the Rock a few months ago. This led to the feud here as Rock called Austin out to a bridge to get it back. Austin and the belt went into the river but Rock had it instead and was going to bury it. Austin used a monster truck on Rock’s car.

While it doesn’t sound like much, this was freaking SWEET at the time. They beat the living tar out of each other and the No Holds Barred rule makes it all the better. Before the match Vince says to Steph to wait in the car. Remember that for later.

The intros here take just two minutes less than forever as all three have their own entrances (remember Shane is the referee). There’s one big reason why this is better than last month’s match: there’s almost no pressure on them. It’s not Wrestlemania, it’s Backlash. Because of that, the limelight is off of them and they can go out there and have a lot more fun. This is also much more fast paced which is a good thing here.

It lets things work far better for them as Austin’s style is one where the rules are bent a lot more. They spend a lot of time, nearly 8-10 minutes brawling on the floor which is a nice addition to the formula. Part of the set is made of chain length fence so they’re fighting on that and trying to stand is kind of a cool visual. They destroy the set during their fight which is very cool. I mean they break just about everything in it.

They go back to the ring and Austin hits a sweet looking diving clothesline from the apron to the floor. Rock Bottom through the table for your big spot of the match which is odd as there were about 5 already. Rock does his commentary during the match which is a bit that I always laughed at. It’s so cocky but so funny at the same time. Back into the crowd for a bit but not long enough that it feels like overkill.

They go through some more tables before Shane accidentally drills Rock with the belt. He refuses to count the pin and flips off Austin. Vince comes out and hits Shane in the head with the title. It truly amazes me that we didn’t get Vince vs. Shane for almost two more years. Seriously, that would have been a huge match at the time. Vince is helping Austin here by bringing in a fair referee.

This was cool as it lays the groundwork for the Higher Power angle. Anyway, Stunner ends this and after a brief celebration we cut to Steph in the car. She’s wondering why they’re not moving. The privacy screen rolls down and Taker is the driver. He says “Where to Stephanie?” and I mark out like crazy as the soap opera era was here and I ate it up with a spoon. Very great stuff here as it was so intricate and well thought out that when we got the final reveal a few months later it blew my mind.

It got to the point where Vince turned out to be the one behind the Ministry and Vince and Shane were working together all along to prevent Steve Austin from being the World Champion. That’s just flat out amazing, or at least it was at the time. Corporation and Ministry would merge on Thursday with Rock turning face to help fight them alongside Austin, but that’s a history lesson for a different time.

Rating: A. This was a war and it made Rock look much stronger. It definitely blows away the Mania match from last month but I’d still put it just a hair behind the WM 17 match and the WM 19 match. That being said, this was great. Both guys were beating the heck out of each other and with the added rules it made things even sweeter. They fit better in these kinds of matches where it’s more of a fight. Great match here that’s just flat out intense.

Overall Rating: A-. This is probably the best three hour IYH there was so I guess they saved the best for last. The true peak of the AE is coming with the Higher Power and the real soap opera stuff coming soon. The next night was one of my all time favorite scenes with the Black Wedding of Stephanie and Taker and all the faces trying to make the save until Austin ran out to JR’s screams of “HERE HE COMES!!!”

Seeing Austin ride in as the cavalry to save the daughter of his most hated rival is just awesome, plain and simple. The new era was here and it wasn’t leaving anytime soon, but sadly enough Owen Hart would, passing away a month after this. He was in the IC Title hunt again and I think would have had a run with the world title had he hung around.

Look at 2000 and how desperate they were for main event talent with guys like Big Show and an unready Kurt Angle getting the belt. You don’t think Owen could have held it for a month or so and given you quality matches? I’d certainly think so but that’s a different story. Anyway, this is a good show with the worst match being the shortest. Highly recommended.

Thank you very much for all the debates and the thoughts put into these reviews. I love doing these but at the end they just get tiring. I’ll be taking a break from the series until August 2nd when Summerslam’s countup will begin. I’ll probably throw in some random ones here or there just to tide you over and MAYBE I’ll do KOTR in July, but I doubt it. Anyway, again I appreciate you support in this and I’ll be back in August.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nigh Raw (Saturday Night Raw)
Date: February 13, 1999
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 41,432
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

This is yet another go home/special show which feels like all I do in 1999. Due to something airing on USA on Monday, Raw was pushed back to Saturday, which is the day before the PPV. The main event tonight is a gauntlet of some kind with Austin having to face the entire Corporation for some kind of prize. I’ve also done the Raw after this and the link is at the end. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Rumble where Austin was ambushed by the Corporation.

Here’s Austin to open the show to a HUGE pop. He can’t wait until tomorrow night to get his hands on McMahon, who better have his track shoes on so he can run for as long as he can. After that, he’s going to walk over Vince’s body and head straight to Wrestlemania. Austin guarantees bloodshed, and it’s not going to be his. Cole: “That means it’s going to be the boss’!” Seriously, he was the BEST they could do? REALLY?

Cue Mankind who likes the sound of the word bloodshed. He says that he might have to go get some of Vince’s blood on his new white shirt tomorrow night. That’s a bit morbid wouldn’t you say? Anyway Mankind says that he’s ready for Wrestlemania, but tonight one of the two of them is going to take a beating. He reminds Austin that he’s the WWF Champion until he isn’t anymore. See, when Foley says things like that he can get away with it. When Cole says it, he sounds like an idiot.

Here’s the Corporation with Rock saying that he needs to clear a few things up. He gives Mankind directions to the Smackdown Hotel, but says instead of checking Mankind in, he’s going to bash Mankind’s brains in. Rock calls himself the chosen one which isn’t a name that ever stuck. As for Austin, Vince says that Steve has no chance, just like he had at the Rumble. He loved hearing himself announced as the winner of the Rumble, and he’d like to hear it again on Sunday.

Vince guarantees that none of the Corporation will interfere in the match. If they do, he’ll fire all of them and they’ll all be out of jobs. After Sunday, nothing will be the same for Austin. Also tonight, Austin will be facing Mankind in a non-title match with Vince as guest referee. Vince’s face was AWESOME here as he looked downright maniacal.

Mark Henry stares at Debra.

D’Lo Brown vs. Jeff Jarrett

Before the match, Brown has a surprise for Henry. To make sure Henry stays focused, here’s someone nice he can look at. Brown introduces the debuting Ivory, basically as Henry’s love slave. Jarrett jumps Brown to start and hits a DDT onto the arm. Brown comes back with a spinwheel kick as Henry hits on Ivory. Jeff puts on the Figure Four but Ivory’s distraction lets Brown escape and hit the Sky High. Nothing here.

Post match we get a catfight.

Earlier today, Val Venis and Ryan Shamrock were spotted at a hotel.

We recap Val and the Shamrocks, which has ticked Ken off to no end.

Here are Val and the very good looking Ryan. Kevin Kelly asks them about about why they’re doing this and sex lines ensue. Ken runs out and beats up Val. He beats up some referees too because he’s insane.

Val says he’s going to take care of Ken tonight.

Goldust vs. Gillberg

Goldust gets some blue roses before the match. Gillberg tries the spear and is shoved away with ease. Goldie stomps away and hits a clothesline followed by the Curtain Call. Here’s Blue Dust who is shown on the screen with just some grapes covering him up. Gillberg rolls up Goldust for the pin.

Gillberg gets Shattered Dreams as a reward, followed by Goldust getting a Blue Bath, meaning he’s covered in blue paint.

Earl Hebner says that none of his referees will officiate Shamrock’s match Sunday. If a replacement can’t be found, Shamrock has to forfeit the title. Couldn’t that be used by corrupt referees to cost someone a title?

Here’s DX with something to say. Apparently on Sunday it’s HHH/Pac vs. Chyna/Kane. HHH tells Chyna that she can’t even draw a walk in the game because she doesn’t have any balls. Pac wants Kane as well and says bring it. Road Dogg says there’s not going to be a third fall in the 2/3 falls match with Snow. He moonwalks here a bit for no apparent reason.

Gunn takes off his shirt off and reveals his referee shirt. Dogg: “You want a job at Foot Locker?” Billy is going to referee the IC Title match and that’s it. Nothing more to this segment than that: everyone talking about their matches and setting them up a bit better. Why don’t we get this more often today? Oh that’s right: we need 958 recaps and to have the GM talk for an hour a night anymore.

Steve Austin vs. Mankind

Vince is guest referee and this is non-title. He has the two guys come to the middle and says that anything goes here. The use of assorted furniture is acceptable and kicks to the groin would be appreciated. Austin says someone is taking a beating, but it’s not himself or Mankind. Vince stares Austin down and turns around into Mr. Socko and the Claw. The Corporation runs out for the save but are easily beaten down. No match of course.

Post break, Vince puts Austin in the Corporation Gauntlet, minus Rock.

Godfather vs. Viscera

Mideon sits in on commentary and has an eyeball in a jar. Godfather pounds away on the fat man and gets a boot up in the corner to block a charge. Godfather gets Viscera down with a suplex but Mideon runs in for the fast DQ.

Val and Ken are fighting in the back and Billy Gunn is dragged into it.

X-Pac vs. Kane

Let it continue. Pac fires off kicks to start but a spinwheel kick is caught in a spinebuster for two. Kane throws him around even more before sending Pac to the floor. The big man tries to crush Pac with the steps but hits the post instead. A dropkick sends Kane off the apron and we head back inside. Chyna comes in for the lame DQ.

HHH saves Pac from a Chyna Pedigree.

Road Dogg is out cold in the back and bleeding from behind the ear. Medics look at him but he says to find Billy, who didn’t do this to him.

Here’s Al Snow with something to say. He says that he’s going to take his Hardcore Title back and claims that Roadie stabbed him and Head in the back. Snow wants a hardcore match and issues an open challenge, but no one answers. His answer is to have one with himself, so he beats himself up with weapons. We have a referee for no apparent reason as Snow puts himself through a table. Bob Holly comes out to help Al but gets punched for his efforts. They brawl into the crowd and I guess this is a match. Back to ringside quickly and they hit each other with chairs. Referees pull them apart so this wasn’t really even a match.

Droz beats up Kevin Kelly for calling him a punk.

Steve Blackman vs. The Rock

Rock pounds away to start but Blackman comes back with his usual kicks. Steve pounds away but gets caught in a DDT for a big pop. Rock heads to the floor and FINALLY tells us that he’s cooking a nice Rockwich with extra Rock Sauce. Back in and Blackman gets in some kicks, only to miss a bicycle kick. Rock Bottom and Elbow end this.

Rating: D+. Total squash here which is exactly what it was designed to be. Not everything has to be some big and epic match, and this is a good example of that. Rock would go on to be world champion again very soon, but he just fought a midcard guy. The thing is: it worked fine. Try this and I think you’ll be ok modern WWE.

Steve Austin vs. The Corporation

It’s a gauntlet match and Shamrock is up first. Slugout to start of course with Shamrock taking him down. The fans tell Vince that he screwed Bret. Austin escapes the ankle lock and hits the Stunner, but here’s Test for the DQ. He’s the next man as well and is Stunned in less than a minute, but Kane runs in for the seconds DQ. Kane chokes away in the corner but gets caught by the Thesz Press.

Austin pounds away but Kane gets a boot up to stop Austin. There’s the chokeslam but Austin kicks out at two. The Tombstone is countered into a Stunner but Chyna comes in for the DQ. I think the match only ends in a pinfall which is why they keep running in. Chyna comes in and takes a Stunner so here’s Boss Man. Austin hooks a sleeper but Boss Man escapes and gets the nightstick for the DQ. Austin is dead so Vince comes in and pins him.

Rating: D. You can barely call this a match as it was really just a way for Vince to get one up on Austin. The longest of the falls lasted about 80 seconds, so what are you expecting this to be? Nothing to see here but Vince’s charisma is incredible when he’s out there with Austin which makes up for some of the flaws. Also it’s less than seven minutes long so how annoyed can I get?

Vince talks trash to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Definitely not their strongest show, but they set up the cage match pretty well. The world title match was glossed over though, which is pretty annoying in general. I don’t even think the stipulation (last man standing) was mentioned here at all. After those two matches though, the level of interest fall off a cliff. I had to look up the rest of the card and I just watched the go home show. That’s a bad sign.

Here’s St. Valentine’s Day Massacre if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/16/st-valentines-day-massacre-austin-vs-mcmahon-one-on-one/

Here’s the February 15^th Raw if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/05/16/monday-night-raw-february-15-1999-the-forgotten-rock-vs-mankind-match/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 25, 1999
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 15,538
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

It was a good night for the Corporation last night as Vince won the Rumble and Rock won the title back from Mankind in one of the most brutal matches you’ll ever see. This is kind of like a go home show in an odd way as we have Halftime Heat on Sunday. Anyway tonight we have Rock defending his newly won title against HHH in another I Quit match. I’ve also already done the next week’s show and the link is below as usual. Let’s get to it.

We open with stills and audio from last night where Rock cost Austin the Rumble and gave the win to Vince.

Cole’s voice is gone as he shouted a lot last night.

Shane brings out Vince to start the show. The Corporation comes out with the boss and carries him on their shoulders. Oh and Vince finally has his signature theme music now. Vince: “I’M GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!!!” Well I’d hope so. Things usually fell apart when he wasn’t around. Vince talks about how Rock also won last night and says that since Rock was at ringside (distracting Austin), he gets the $100,000 bounty.

Apparently Rock didn’t get much sleep last night. He was out partying all night, but once he got home he broke into a cold sweat because he’s facing Vince at Wrestlemania. However, that’s not a problem because Vince has filed paperwork to say that he’s no longer the #1 contender. He gets to pick the challenger though. Vince says that Austin will never get another title shot, nor will he get another match with Vince.

This brings Austin to the Titantron, live from Texas (remember that we’re in Arizona). Austin says that he’s going to Wrestlemania, which Vince says is because Austin is buying a ticket. You know, because Austin couldn’t get any match on the card. Austin says he’ll be in the main event, and the Commissioner says so. We go to a wider shot to show Shawn Michaels next to Austin. Did I forget to mention that we were in San Antonio, Texas?

Shawn says that he’s giving Austin protection from himself. If Austin was in the arena tonight, he would destroy Vince and that’s not good. Apparently Shawn has taken a look at the WWF Rule Book (oh I’d LOVE to get my hands on a copy of that) and it says that if the winner of the Rumble steps aside, the person that comes in second gets the title shot. Vince looks like he’s about to be sick.

Austin says he’d love to have the title back but he’d rather beat up Vince more. Therefore on Valentine’s Day, he’ll put up the title shot if Vince will face him in a match. If Vince wins, Austin loses the title shot. However, Austin doesn’t want Vince to be able to run, so let’s make it a cage match. Austin sweetens the offer, saying he’ll NEVER get another title shot. That’s enough for Vince, so Austin guarantees victory. This came off as really serious, which is why Shawn smiling in the background was so annoying. Good stuff though.

An armored truck, presumably with Rock’s money, arrives.

Billy Gunn vs. Goldust

Gunn’s ankle is still messed up from last night. HHH says no catchphrase tonight, because he wants Rocky right here. He doesn’t think Rock made Mankind say I Quit and he knows Rock can’t make him say I Quit. HHH remembers the last time they fought for a title when HHH took the IC Title off Rock, but for once, be a man and accept the challenge.

Oh yeah we have a match here. Goldust jumps Billy from behind and tries for Shattered Dreams about a minute in. Billy counters by mooning Goldie, making him miss a cross body. Now Goldust’s music and pyro go off, and the Blue Freaking Meanie comes out dressed as Blue Dust. Billy gets two off a rollup and three off a piledriver after Blue Dust hit Goldie with the Head. Angle advancement here.

Mankind is here.

Here are the Oddities for a match but Rock interrupts. Rock tells them to get out of the ring and accepts HHH’s challenge for later tonight. Rock is done, but we cut to Mankind in the back as he hijacks the armored truck. He takes a bag of money out of it and heads to the arena. Mankind comes to the arena and says that Rock has his title, but Mankind has Rock’s money. He starts throwing the money away and tells Rock to stay back.

Mankind says he remembers getting hit in the head by a chair a bunch of times, but he does not remember saying that he quit. Instead he remembers being unconscious. However, with the help of the production team, he thinks he’s solved the mystery. We get a clip from Heat of Mankind screaming at Shane that he’ll never say the words I Quit. He says them in a very specific way, and interestingly enough, the time when he said the words in the match were in the exact same tone and speech pattern. Also, he doesn’t appear to move when he gave up, which makes Rock angry. Cole: “I KNEW IT!”

Therefore, Rock has no legitimate claim to that title. Mankind wants his rematch, and he wants it during Halftime Heat, in an empty arena match. This was actually a very clever way to make sure very few spoilers got out. As for the money, Socko is going on a shopping spree. Rock says deal, so Mankind says Have A Nice Day!

Droz vs. George Steele

Wait, because here’s Mideon to ask Lawler and Cole if they can see it. Whatever it is, it’s going to cover the place. For no apparent reason, George is in sunglasses. He immediately bites Droz’s arm and hits Drozdov in the arm with some kind of spike. The turnbuckle is bitten open, but Droz rams him into the buckle for the pin.

The Oddities save Steele from the beating.

The Stooges give the tag champs advice and also some salt peter to drink. For those of you unfamiliar, it’s stuff used in the military to tone down male sex drives.

Debra says no one can resist her. Mark Henry comes up to hit on her and Debra seems interested.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett vs. Big Boss Man/Ken Shamrock

Boss Man vs. Jarrett to start with Boss Man cleaning house. The baseball slide into the right hand has Jeff in trouble (he and Owen are challenging) but he avoids a charging Boss Man in the corner. Owen comes in and stomps away, drawing a nugget chant. A big clothesline from Shamrock puts Owen down as Debra tries to blow kisses at Shamrock. An enziguri puts Ken down as does a powerslam, which gets two.

There’s the spinwheel kick to Shamrock’s jaw but a top rope dropkick misses. Debra gets on the apron and opens her jacket to reveal her bra, but Shamrock suplexes Owen anyway. Debra takes off her top entirely and there’s the ankle lock to Owen. Everything breaks down and cue the Blue Blazer with a guitar shot to Shamrock, giving Owen and Jeff the titles.

Rating: C-. Most of that is for Debra, which says a lot about this match. Nothing to see here for the most part as Owen and Jarrett weren’t that interesting as champions, but they would hold the belts until after Wrestlemania. Tag team wrestling was getting desperate for a new team to take the division by storm, but it would be another seven months before that happened.

Owen says he’s vindicated because he’s not the Blazer.

Here are Shane with the Stooges and some REALLY bad music. Shane has an issue with Kane, as he’s screwed Vince over lately. Last night after the Rumble, Kane came up to the McMahon suite and apologized. Shane invites Kane down to the ring and here’s the Big Fried Freak. Shane asks Kane to repeat the apology, but in public. Kane uses the voicebox to talk but Shane wants Kane on his knees. Surprisingly enough Kane does it, but that’s STILL not good enough, because Kane was only on one knee.

This brings out X-Pac who says that the Corporation needs to back off. Kane is too big and tough to take this kind of nonsense. He offers Kane a spot in DX and challenges Shane to a fight right now. This earns him a chokeslam from Kane, who apparently wants to stay in the Corporation because they have good dental. Shane gives Pac a Bronco Buster.

Earlier today, PMS took D’Lo Brown shopping. They want him to get them feminine hygiene products. Egads Terri acting is not a pretty sight. Nothing about Jackie is a pretty sight. He has to get a price check and the clerk recognizes him.

Here’s Val Venis’ latest video: Saving Ryan’s Privates/Sister Act. Naturally it’s focused on him and Shamrock’s siter Ryan, setting up Shamrock’s next title defense. It’s Val getting into the shower with Ryan, likely much to Shamrock’s chagrin.

Val Venis vs. Test

Nothing of note happens until Ken comes out and blasts Billy with a chair, sending him into the pumphandle slam for the pin.

Billy Gunn comes out for the save but Val thinks Billy hit him with the chair. Val takes out the bad ankle and we’ve got a threeway feud.

Road Dogg/Al Snow vs. Gangrel/Edge

This is a hardcore tag match and the non-vampires jump the fang dudes as they come up through their ring of fire. They brawl up on the stage before going down onto the concrete. Make that into the back as we can barely keep track of what’s going on. Gangrel crushes both of the opponents with a dumpster before Edge beats on Dogg some more. They fight into the back as Gangrel has silverware thrown at him.

Roadie gets hit in the back by a chair and put on the catering table. Snow and Edge slam chairs together before they fight into the women’s room. The Ho’s are chased out of there and Snow walks out with a toilet seat around his neck. All four guys go on top of something too dark to see before crashing through a table. Blue Dust was involved in there somewhere, giving Snow Head back. Dogg pins Gangrel.

Rating: D+. The problem here was that you couldn’t see a thing for the most part. It was one of those “let’s walk around and find whatever we can to throw each other into” matches which aren’t the easiest things in the world to talk about. The Brood would be switched up to give us Edge and Christian soon after this.

Taker says the evil begins tonight.

Snow wants another shot at the Hardcore Title, but wants 2/3 falls. Dogg says it’s a deal, but here’s the Ministry to beat all of them down. Mabel was brought into the team last night.

Taker is watching from his throne and says this will be a holy war.

Buy the PPV replay even though we’ve told you all the results!

WWF World Title: HHH vs. The Rock

I Quit match. HHH takes over to start with a bunch of punches both in the middle of the ring as well as in the corner. Just in case one of the areas got lonely I’m assuming. Rock gets sent to the floor and there’s a baseball slide. The champ starts to walk away so they fight up to the stage. HHH is rammed into the set but he comes back with a clothesline to take over. Rock won’t say it so HHH rams his head into the stage.

Back to ringside where HHH is sent into the timekeeper’s table. It’s time for some Rock commentary with Rock saying HHH is half gay anyway. There’s a line you wouldn’t hear ever after the 90s. That fires HHH up enough to take it back into the crowd where he chokes Rock with a cord. Back into the ring we go but HHH gets the bell and hammer. Rock comes back with a spinebuster and drops the Elbow onto HHH with the bell. All that gets is HHH telling Rock what he can suck.

HHH pops up and hits a Pedigree out of nowhere but it doesn’t do much good here. We head back to the floor where HHH hits a second Pedigree. He loads up a third on the announce table but here’s the Corporation with Kane holding Chyna by the hair. Either HHH quits or Chyna gets drilled. HHH quits to end the match when Rock was dead to rites.

Rating: C+. It’s Rock vs. HHH, meaning it’s automatically worth a look. The ending kept HHH looking strong which is good as he was about to get pushed further up the card. Rock looked good here as well and the ending was ambiguous because he might not have given up. Things would be changing very soon for HHH and for the better.

Here are the beginning of those changes, as Chyna hits HHH low and joins the Corporation. A big HHH beatdown ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. You can see the screwiness coming already. The good thing about these shows is they go by so fast that you can’t really tell if they’re bad or not. Austin vs. Vince would of course be huge but it would be overtaken by Undertaker’s insanity for the next few months. The main problem continues to be the midcard, which ranges from just ok to horrible. Not a bad show here, but 1999 just isn’t a good year from a quality standpoint.

Here’s Halftime Heat if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/12/16/halftime-heat-the-stupidest-camera-angle-of-all-time/

Here’s the February 1^st if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/02/15/monday-night-raw-february-1-1999-300th-episode/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Halftime Heat
Date: January 31, 1999
Location: Tucson Convention Center, Tucson, Arizona
Attendance: 0
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Shane McMahon, Vince McMahon

This is another special request and that’s fitting because it’s a special show. This was a one time thing that WWF tried. They aired a special show during halftime of the Super Bowl. It got the highest rating in the history of Sunday Night Heat, drawing a 6.6. Not bad on Super Bowl Sunday eh? This is literally a one match show but it’s a heck of a match. This was good from what I remember. Let’s get to it.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Mankind

The catch here? This is an empty arena match. Literally there are thousands of empty seats and zero fans in attendance. I don’t think there’s a reason for this but there were a total of five shows taped that night (Raw, Super Astros (A Spanish WWF show), regular Sunday Night Heat, Shotgun and this) so it’s not like they didn’t get their money’s worth.

They do the full intros including Fink doing the introductions and the theme music with Titantron videos. You can never say Vince underdid anything. He’s accompanying Rock here. There’s nothing but the match here and the whole thing is less than twenty minutes long. It’s WEIRD hearing them being able to talk smack. Vince joins us on commentary.

Basic stuff to start and before I forget this is falls count anywhere. Foley gets the sock as no one but Vince can get a word in. Baseball slide sends Rock to the floor and gets two. Rock’s head is rammed into the bell. Foley talks smack as he beats up Rock. Ok no wonder only Vince can get a word in: the other two have left. Well ok then.

Rock takes over and throws Mankind through the barricade wall and takes over. Foley gets thrown into some chairs as this is just weird to see. This is the rematch from the Rumble when Mankind had the title stolen from him. He took $100,000 of Rock’s money to force him into this I guess. We get a clock saying the second half of the game begins in 15:00.

In one of my favorite of his bits, Rock jumps on headset to talk some trash but Mankind pops up and grabs the Claw as we head back into the stands. 14 minutes left. I’m assuming the match ends when halftime is over? They fight up the steps with Foley slamming his face into the metal.

13 minutes to go as Vince talks about what you’re watching. He says it’s action adventure, it’s soap opera, it’s Hollywood and Broadway and all point in between. Vince is an amazing salesman as he makes it sound far more awesome than it really is but he gets you interested in it. He clearly loves what he does and what he’s created which I think has a lot to do with why it’s still around.

Rock gets a solid shot in with a trash can and Mankind falls back down the stairs. He’s in control now and now Kelly and Shane are watching in a full arena. Methinks there are some camera tricks afoot here. We go back to “live” action and we’re in the kitchen. Foley is thrown into a cotton candy stand and let the comedy begin.

He steals the sock and throws it in an oven then burns Foley in one. Foley goes into the pots and pans and is in big trouble. He hits Foley in the head with a package of hamburger buns for two. 9 minutes left. Rock stops to get some Jack Daniels but gets knocked back into some plates. BAG OF POPCORN TO THE HEAD!

Vince calling this seriously is rather funny. They go through a door and are near catering now. 8 minutes. Rock stops and eats some popcorn but spits it out due to too much salt. Trash can to Mankind who has apparently lost a shoe. Catering is doing destroyed and Foley has been burned by some barbecue sauce to the eye. Rock is ticked that it’s mild.

Piledriver on the floor is blocked and Foley goes into some wings. It’s been all Rock for about 6 minutes now but he hits a low blow for two. I love hearing Vince saying ALMOST a count of three! We head through another door into the office areas. Foley is knocked into a chair as we have five minutes left.

Hey we have a phone call! Rock answers, saying it’s the Smackdown Hotel. I wonder if that was legit. We have another call. “Hello, Smackdown Hotel, corner of Know Your Role Boulevard and Jabroni Drive!” And now Rock stops to hit on some secretary then calls her a big fat piece of trash. Foley gets an opening and takes over again though and we fight back into the hallway.

Back to “the arena” where Heat is being shown I guess. We’re at a loading dock now and it’s dark. Foley gets the Claw on and knocks Rock out underneath a forklift. He commandeers the forklift and lowers the load it’s carrying onto Rock and in the DUMBEST thing I can remember in WWF history, THERE IS A CAMERA LOOKING DOWN FROM THE FORKLIFT. Foley asks the referee if his shoulders are down and puts his foot on the stuff it’s carrying to win the title.

Overall Rating: B+. Might as well just go with that for the match rating too since it’s literally one thing for the whole show. To put it mildly this was entertaining. These two had great chemistry together and everything clicked very well out there for them. The aspect was very different and this was a great way to grab people’s attention if they didn’t want to watch Gloria Estefan sing at halftime.

The timing was great too as this ended about 90 seconds before kickoff so it’s not like you missed any of the game. Very fun match and definitely a very unique thing to see. Well worth checking out as it’s less than 20 minutes from Rock’s entrance to the pinfall. Very good idea here and it worked, drawing a huge number.

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 18, 1999
Location: Montagne Center, Beaumont, Texas
Attendance: 7,454
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re back and it’s the go home show for the Rumble. The main stories going on here are Rock vs. Mankind along with Austin vs. Vince (of course), as we continue to get closer to Mania season. The main event tonight is Rock vs. Kane, who I don’t remember getting together that often other than for Rock to make fun of him. Let’s get to it.

We get the Martin Luther King video to open things up. Vince has always done this which is cool.

Here’s Austin to open things up. He goes through the usual stuff: He’s is #1 in the Rumble, there’s a bounty on his head, all that jazz. Austin says exactly what you would expect him to say in this case before talking about Mankind. He’ll be ready for the Rumble but he’s looking forward to facing Mankind for the title at Mania. The fans want him to beat up Vince tonight and win the Rumble on Sunday. This is one of the lamest Austin promos I can ever remember. Just nothing to it at all but the fans eat it up. Austin has a beer on the announce table and that’s about it.

Hardcore Title: Road Dogg vs. Gangrel

Dogg is champion and he says that even though his name isn’t Buffy, tonight he’s a vampire slayer. They start fast and the brawl heads to the floor with Gangrel in control. Dogg sends him into the barricade and then the steps before we go into the crowd. They slug it out out there before heading back to ringside for table time. The champ sets up said table but Gangrel hits him low and sends Dogg through the table via a powerbomb. That only gets two for Gangrel and Dogg comes back with a DDT onto the pieces of wood.

Another table is loaded up but Gangrel blasts Roadie with a piece of the broken one to take over. Some trashcan shots to the back slow Dogg down but he puts Gangrel on the second table. A shaky elbow off the apron doesn’t break the table and neither does a seated senton off the apron. A middle rope elbow mostly breaks it but Gangrel gets up first. Dogg whips Gangrel onto the broken table and follows it up with a suplex. A chair shot to the head from the apron finally ends Gangrel to retain the title.

Rating: C. This was a stiffer hardcore match than you’re likely used to as the title hasn’t turned into full on self-parody yet. It wasn’t good or anything like that but it was still fun at this point. Gangrel never did anything in the WWF so a match like this was a very strange thing to see from him. Decent match but nothing great at all.

Austin is still here.

Video on the Rumble.

Test vs. Billy Gunn

BIG reaction for Gunn here. Test’s shirt has a picture of a gun on it and says “Guns don’t kill people. I kill people.” Sign of the times man. Another sign of the times: America Online is sponsoring the show. They jockey for position around the ropes until Test elbows him down to take over. Billy comes back with a suplex and a middle rope elbow for two.

We head to the floor where Test takes over with the power stuff. As they come back in, Gunn guillotines him on the top rope a clothesline puts Gunn down but he counters the pumphandle slam. Billy’s piledriver is countered but he comes back with a Fameasser. Not that it matters though as here’s Shamrock to take Billy’s head off for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was just a backdrop for the ending to take place in front of. That’s the right move probably as the match on Sunday is about revenge for Shamrock, so having a crazy man like him snap before Sunday is the right idea. On top of that, would anyone be interested in seeing Gunn vs. Test go on any longer?

Post match Shamrock destroys Gunn and beats him up on the announce table. The ankle lock goes on and a bunch of referees get beaten up. Shamrock pulls out a hammer but doesn’t get to use it.

Halftime Heat is coming.

Billy gets his ankle looked at and screams very loudly.

Jarrett and Hart say they’ve beaten everyone and that they’re the next tag champions. Boss Man and Shamrock, the tag champions, come in and beat up the blonde guys.

Vince training video, this time showing him sparring in a ring. He Stuns a bunch of training partners and throws them out. These are still pretty funny. Shane: “AUSTIN IS GOING DOWN! WELL OVER ACTUALLY!”

Boss Man is beating on Mankind in the back. Mankind fights back but we lose the camera feed.

Dan Severn vs. Steve Blackman

Dan might have faked his neck injury and attacked Blackman on Heat last night to set this up. Blackman jumps him immediately and it turns into one of those annoying shoot style matches. Severn tries to ground and pound but Blackman takes his knees out. Dan comes back with a suplex but misses an elbow. Blackman gets fired up but Severn hits him low for the DQ. This was Severn’s last Raw match.

Blackman gets put in a dragon sleeper post match.

Mankind and Boss Man are still fighting.

Video on Rock vs. Mankind with both guys talking about how they’ll be awesome in the match. The theme seems to be that Rock will beat on Mankind but Mankind won’t quit. Nothing is mentioned of Mankind’s offense.

Mankind vs. Big Boss Man

They brawl into the arena and this is hardcore. The fight starts on the floor with Mankind going into the steps. Once they get in the ring we actually get a bell with Boss Man in control. Mankind comes back and drops a leg for two before pounding away a bit more. The champion elbows Boss Man to the floor but Mankind gets sent face first into a chair.

Several shots into the steps have Foley’s head in trouble before we head back inside. After Boss Man beats on him even more, Mankind comes back with a clothesline to slow down the punishment. There’s the double arm DDT and it’s Socko time. The Claw goes on but here’s rock with a chair shot to the back of Mankind head for the DQ. In a hardcore match.

Rating: C-. The very stupid ending aside, this was a pretty solid and brutal fight which did its intended job. Having Boss Man work over Mankind made sense as no one was expecting him to win, but he got to beat on Mankind for awhile and hurt the champion’s head, which would be chillingly revisited on Sunday.

Rock goes after Mankind’s head a bit more post match.

Henry begs Chyna for mercy because his mama is out there tonight.

Rock is worried about facing Kane tonight but Vince tries to play peacemaker. Kane is to lay down apparently. Rock calls Kane stupid and Vince demands that Kane do as he’s supposed to.

Here’s Chyna to force Mark Henry (numb nuts as she calls him) to make a decision about something. Henry’s mom is in the crowd. Henry comes out and says that nothing happened and can he please have the tape. Chyna says roll the footage. We see Chyna’s friend Sammi locking Henry in a room and kissing him. She goes down on him for a bit, Henry pulls up her dress, and Mark finds…..yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve got a transvestite. Chyna yells at Henry and says his mom had this coming. Henry gets a low blow and his mama yells at him.

Patterson and Brisco talk strategy for their handicap match against Chyna tonight. They argue over who should get the pin.

Al Snow vs. Goldust

The winner of this gets to keep Head. Goldie stole it and we got Al Snow in drag because…seriously why was that a good idea? Goldust pounds away to start but walks into a suplex. They head to the floor almost immediately with Snow being dropped onto the steps. Apparently Gunn’s ankle is ok and he’ll be in the match on Sunday. Snow hits a rana back inside but gets caught by an uppercut and what would be named the Edge-O-Matic. A kind of forward belly to back suplex gets two on Al but Snow gets the same off a cross body. Out of nowhere an Oklahoma Roll gets the pin for Snow.

Rating: D. This didn’t do anything for me at all. Snow was a fine worker, but this story basically came and went in less than ten days. Just not much to see here, especially with how little time they had to work with. Goldust was just kind of there and that would be the case until he left for WCW in a few months/a year or so.

Post match Goldust steals Head again and hits Snow with Shattered Dreams. Goldie leaves with Head. This would result in Snow going insane.

Austin is still here.

Patterson tells Brisco to get the pin. Apparently Vince has said that Brisco should pin Chyna, which ticks Patterson off. These two are hilarious together.

Buy the WWF CD!

Mideon pops up and asks if Lawler and Cole feel it. He’s insane here as well and promises another sacrifice in six days at the Rumble.

Cue the Ministry with the torches and the throne. Taker talks about how Mideon is a once lost soul who has now been found. There will be another sacrifice at the PPV but we can’t comprehend who it’ll be. Ok then.

Chyna vs. Pat Patterson/Gerald Brisco

After a recap of the Corporate Rumble last week we’re read to go. There was an arm wrestling match last night on Heat with Chyna beating Vince (I think) as well. Brisco takes Chyna down to start but Chyna quickly takes over and shoots the half to take over. I don’t think the Stooges have to tag here. Patterson gets a shot now and he talks some trash. Chyna bends his fingers back so Pat puts her in an airplane spin.

Naturally it makes him dizzy so Brisco shoves him to the floor. Chyna beats them both up and we get the comedy groin shot. Patterson hits her low and Chyna is like dude, really? Chyna grabs them both by the balls and lets them argue. She sits on the top rope and stupidly allows Patterson to shove her down. Cue Sable of all people but Luna jumps her from behind. Apparently they’re fighting for the Women’s Title on Sunday in a strap match. Since freaking when?

Brisco does something like a People’s Elbow but the Stooges argue over who should cover. Now they slug it out a bit so Chyna rams their heads together. Brisco throws powder in Chyna’s eyes and they spank her around a bit. The Stooges grab her chest (Lawler: “WHAT’S PATTERSON DOING THERE?”) and Chyna clears her eyes out and beats them up easily. Both guys get DDT’d and she pins both of them.

Rating: D. I get the idea of comedy matches, but did we need molestation involved? On top of that, I’ve heard of hyping two matches at once, but what in the world was Sable coming out there for? Nothing to see here and the Stooges wouldn’t really be funny until they had their handicap match against the Mean Street Posse which is just awesome.

Austin is still here.

Rock and Vince make fun of Kane when he’s not around.

We recap Rock costing Kane the world title last week.

The Rock vs. Kane

Rock is in street clothes and seems to be limping a bit. All of the Corporation is with him here. The Corporation tries to calm Kane down and get him to take a dive with references to the Fingerpoke of Doom. Kane shoves Vince away and the big beatdown is on. Rock wants him all to himself and we get a bell. Dang and I had “no match” all ready to type. Some right hands stagger Kane but he throws Rock into the corner by the throat. A clothesline puts Kane on the floor and Rock pounds away a bit more.

Rock does his always funny commentary while wrestling thing but gets caught by the monster in the process. A low blow staggers Kane and we head back in. Rock hits some punches but the no selling by the monster begins. Another low blow puts Kane down and there’s the Elbow. Kane pops up and chokeslams Rock down but the Corporation runs in to throw the match out.

Rating: D+. It’s hard to get into these matches when you’re just waiting for the big ending and you know there’s no way someone is going to get a pin. Kane and Rock are a pairing that you didn’t see all that often which is kind of surprising given how they were both getting big at the same time. Nothing to see here as expected.

Post match the Corporation beats on Kane until Mankind makes the save. Rock bails and gets caught between Mankind and Austin to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is going to be one of those years where it depends on your taste in wrestling for the most part. The main feuds here are really well defined and they’re definitely going to be worth seeing on Sunday. The problem is the rest of the card, as there is NOTHING else worth seeing and almost nothing at all with any development at all. I guess you could say Shamrock vs. Gunn has been built decently, but that doesn’t exactly scream must see match to be. Anyway, watchable show here and it got me ready for the Rumble, which is the right idea.

Here’s the Rumble if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-1999-please-make-it-stop/

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