Monday Night Raw
Date: March 15, 1999
Location: San Jose Arena, San Jose, California
Attendance: 13,146
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’ve only got two weeks left before Wrestlemania and the card is pretty much ready to go. Well in the world of logical booking and common sense it is. The Wrestlemania 15 card will change a lot tonight for reasons that I’m sure will make me roll my eyes and want to punch someone in the face over. Also hopefully Paul Wight is dubbed Big Show soon because it’s hard not to call him that. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Rock and Big Show’s (finally called that) issues. Rock slapped Big Show last night on Heat before Big Show lifted the ring off the floor. Why Rock didn’t just hop out is beyond me.

Here’s Rock to open the show. I love how he holds the belt in his arm like a football. He talks about how Austin has 13 days before the beating of his life, but the fans stop him to say that Rocky sucks. Austin should go lay down on the train tracks because the Smackdown Express is about to run him over. As for Big Show, Rock knew he couldn’t trust him but it’s clear that Austin and Big Show are in cahoots. He wants Vince out here right now or he’ll kick his roody poo candy…..but Rock has to stop to remind the fans that THIS IS NOT SING A LONG WITH THE ROCK!

Anyway cue Vince who looks very annoyed at this inconvenience. He thinks that Rock is cooking a big load of monkey crap because all this Rock stuff is going to the champ’s head. Maybe Dwayne needs a reality check. Vince asks Rock about the stuff the McMahon family has done for Rock’s family and says that the championship belongs to Vince, not the Rock. However, Rock isn’t going to lose that title to Austin. Vince’s family has been looking out for Rock’s family for three generations so he’s going to protect Rock now. He’s brought in Big Show to help Rock and the Corporation and Show has done a lot for Rock already.

This brings out Big Show himself and he’s not pleased with what Vince is implying about him. Maybe Big Show should cash in one of his big checks on the Rock and then use the change on Vince. McMahon says he pays Big Show and that means Big Show does what he says. Show chokes Vince into the corner but Vince says this is what Austin and the people want. Instead, they’re going to get Rock and Big Show vs. Mankind and Austin. Rock and Big Show shake hands,

Some construction guys come out and start building a table in front of the regular announce table. They don’t know why they’re doing it but apparently that’s their assignment.

Intercontinental Title: Road Dogg vs. Val Venis

This is because Venis, the champion, pinned Road Dogg in a tag match on Heat. Trust me: that’s far from the most backwards thing tonight. Road Dogg says he’ll win and become the Intercontinental Champion of the world. Dogg misses a charges into the corner to start and Val pounds away. A spinebuster gets two for the champion as do some elbows. Apparently Venis has guaranteed a win in three minutes.

There’s a powerslam to the Dogg but the Money Shot misses. Dogg starts pounding away and hits the shaky knee drop and a pumphandle slam for two. The construction guys are still working and have a power saw going. A snap suplex gets two for Val but Roadie catches him in a DDT for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing of note and I really have no idea why the title change happened. Val wasn’t the best champion ever but he had a feud going on for the title with three other guys, but now Road Dogg is champion. Nothing to see here as the main focus was on the carpenters at ringside.

Rock tells Big Show he can win the tag match by himself.

DX celebrates Road Dogg’s new title in the back. Billy apparently wants a shot.

Here’s Shane to say that beating X-Pac at Wrestlemania will be as easy as 1-2-3. Kid. Eh point for a funny line. Anyway, right now he’s going to challenge the Legion of Doom to a handicap match……and it’s Patterson and Brisco in LOD attire.

Shane McMahon vs. Legion of Doom

Vince is on commentary. This is exactly what you would expect as Shane destroys the “LOD”. Brisco is Hawk in case you were wondering. Both guys get Bronco Busters as X-Pac is watching in the back. Shane hits them both with the European Title and gets a double pin. This was a long joke, not a match.

As the McMahons leave, Undertaker’s voice comes over the speakers and we get a shot of apparently Vince’s house. Taker says a woman is coming home soon. The Ministry is at Vince’s house and apparently they’re trying to get in.

Vince calls his security company but they’re not at the house yet.

Cue JR and Steve Williams. Apparently JR is going to do his own commentary and the carpenters were building him his own announce table. Yes, this is what we’ve spent 20 minutes setting up. The table says JR is Raw.

Tag Titles: Jeff Jarrett/Owen Hart vs. Public Enemy

Earlier today the challengers said they don’t want anything handed to them. It’s a big brawl to start and Rocco almost immediately tries to put Jarrett through a table. We hear about people being annoyed at where Public Enemy used to work (both ECW and WCW) as Owen hammers away on Rocco. The champions (Jarrett and Hart of course) split Rocco’s legs before it’s back to Hart to pound away in the corner. Rocco avoids a charge into the corner and it’s hot tag to Johnny. He cleans house and there’s a guitar shot, leading to the pin for Jarrett. This was like 90 seconds.

JR thanks the fans for their support as Jerry and Cole talk about the match.

The cops won’t go to Vince’s house because they think it’s a publicity stunt.

Post break Vince is upset because no one will answer. Shane offers to call his friends to go help but there’s a phone call from Undertaker. Apparently Undertaker asks if Vince knows where his family is.

A steel cage is lowered.

Wrestlemania is coming.

Vince has a meeting with the Corporation.

Mankind is sitting inside a shark’s mouth (literally) and says he’s going to give Mr. Socko a bath with Paul Wight’s saliva.

Mideon vs. Big Bossman

This is inside a cage and Mideon is here all alone tonight. Apparently this is a Hard Time cage match, whatever that means. You win by escape only and Boss Man dominates Mideon to start. A splash in the corner puts Mideon down and Boss Man throws him face first into the cage. Boss Man pulls out a chain and blasts Mideon in the face for good measure. Here’s the rest of the Corporation as the cage door is open. The beatdown is on and the match is again thrown out after about two minutes.

Vince talks to Undertaker, saying that if Undertaker doesn’t leave Vince’s home, Mideon will be destroyed. We cut to a shot of Vince’s house where Taker says his men exist to die for him. Taker says he’s going to do what he has to do and a car pulls up. The feed cuts out and we go to a commercial.

Post break Vince and company are panicking while trying to get someone on the phone.

Now, let’s go to the Playboy Mansion with Lawler getting a tour. If you can’t figure out what’s going on here, you’re in the wrong review. The acting on this is worse than almost anything else I can remember in WWE. The King is thrown out of course.

Here’s Sable to show us the entire Playboy spread. I’m sure. She’s basically in S&M gear here and shows us the pictures. They’re censored of course, making this rather pointless. If the fans want to see the uncensored ones, they have to pay. Anyway, this brings out Tori who now has entrance music. She insists she’s as good as Sable and won’t stand in the shadow any longer. Tori offers to show everything she has. Her voice sounds like it’s coming from a machine. A challenge is made and accepted for Wrestlemania. Tori strips to some very large underwear.

Cops arrive at Vince’s house and look around to see if there’s anything to Vince’s claims.

We go from that to a video on how tough things are on the mean streets of Greenwich, Connecticut, featuring the Mean Street Posse.

Hardcore Title: Billy Gunn vs. Hardcore Holly

Gunn is challenging of course. It’s a brawl to start and odds are that’s what we’re going to see for awhile here. Gunn is sent to the floor and Holly pulls out a garbage can for a hard shot to the head. Billy comes back with a whip into the steps for two but a piledriver on the floor is blocked, as it always is. They head inside with Billy breaking a broomstick over Holly’s back. A shot to the throat gets two on Holly and it’s chair time.

Holly comes back with a facejam onto the chair and a clothesline to put Gunn on the outside. Gunn tries a comeback but walks into a drink to the head as we go back inside. A chair to Billy’s head gets two but Holly is thrown onto JR’s table, apparently knocking the signal out. Cole and Jerry can still talk though and they get to call Billy hitting a Fameasser onto the chair for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. So yeah, Russo’s BRILLIANT conclusion to two simultaneous midcard title feuds is to swap the champions out for each other. Gunn would defend the Hardcore Title in a three way at Mania and Road Dogg would be in the fourway. The problem is none of those challengers have any issues with either respective champion, so the matches wound up being worthless. But hey, it’s a SWERVE you see? Who needs logical storytelling when you can have SWERVES?

Vince is told the cops left but gets a call from Undertaker, saying that he’s going to be the father that Vince never could be, or maybe he could just torture her. Who this “her” is hasn’t been revealed yet. Taker’s symbol is burning on Vince’s lawn.

Here’s HHH with something to say. Apparently Chyna has a partially burned retina. HHH is mad that it was his eye that Kane was shooting for, so get out here right now for a burning. Cue Kane and the brawl is on in the aisle. As they fight at ringside, here comes Vince with his head hanging down. Vince wants Kane to try to talk to Undertaker (Vince’s voice is mic’d here but his hands are empty) but HHH won’t let Kane leave. Kane shakes his head no…..and unmasks to reveal Undertaker. The lights go out and Taker says he can get Vince anytime anywhere. Kane’s pyro goes off and his music plays to end this stupid segment.

Seriously, what in the world is going on here? Presumably Undertaker wasn’t ever in Connecticut (remember this show is in California), but we saw him on camera there, as we saw the cop. Even if it does make sense, it’s WAY more complicated than it needs to be, much like this entire angle.

Wrestlemania ad.

The Stooges try to console Vince.

Mankind/Steve Austin vs. Big Show/The Rock

Rock says that he’s going to win at Wrestlemania before we get going here. Mankind gets beaten down before Austin gets here, only to have the Rattlesnake come in and make the save. Austin and Rock get things going with Austin hitting the Thesz Press before he even takes the vest off. Off to Mankind who is punched in the face by the world champion. Mankind comes back with some right hands to the head and the running knee to a seated Rock in the corner.

Back to Austin as Rock is in big trouble. There’s a sleeper by Austin but Rock rams him into the corner for the break. Rock charges into a boot in the corner but rolls to the floor to avoid a Stunner. The champ tries to leave but you know Austin isn’t letting something like that happen. Back in and a bad looking spinebuster gets two on Rock before it’s back to Mankind for his own version of the People’s Elbow. Mankind hits the ropes once too often though, allowing Big Show to kick him in the back of the head. That and a DDT are enough for a two count for Rock.

Off to Big Show for the first time as the fans chant for Austin. Thankfully we don’t have JR on commentary anymore, but it means that Cole and Lawler can talk about how huge a deal that was for Vince. Big Show chokes away with those long legs in the corner as he makes the 6’4 Mankind look tiny. A Russian legsweep puts Mankind down and it’s back to the champion. Austin breaks up a near fall off the People’s Elbow but it’s back to Big Show for more punishment on Mankind.

Show chokes with the ropes as Rock draws Austin in again, allowing for a low blow. Rock brags a bit too much though and gets caught in a double arm DDT to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Austin and Rock freaks. Austin stomps a mudhole in Rock’s chest but has to fight out of a Rock Bottom attempt. Instead it’s a neckbreaker getting two for Austin but everything breaks down. Everyone goes to the floor and the match is thrown out.

Rating: C. Rock vs. Austin is always worth seeing and I can’t complain a bit about putting both big matches from Wrestlemania into a tag match like this. It was a regular main event tag match other than that though so it’s hard to complain here. The match wasn’t anything of note and the ending sucked, but the rest of it wasn’t bad. That’s as back and forth as I can get so we’ll say the rating is right in the middle.

Austin and Rock go through the announce table, which means Big Show isn’t doing his job.

Overall Rating: D. This is Russo when he’s getting WAY too much freedom. I felt like I was watching a low budget horror movie here with some screwball comedy thrown in. The midcard title swap makes NO sense and is as stupid of an idea as they could have had. It makes the matches worthless and throws out weeks of buildup. Then there’s the Undertaker stuff which feels like it’s out of a low budget Halloween ripoff. There was almost nothing good here and it’s hard to imagine we’re two weeks from Wrestlemania.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

Slamboree 1999
Date: May 9, 1999
Location: TWA Dome, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 20,516
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

Another WCW PPV for you here. This one looks a little less boring than the Bash, but that’s not really saying much. The main event here is Page, the world champion, defending against Nash. We also get the first bout in the EPIC Flair vs. Piper feud, and I’m sure you’re all dying to see that. Let’s get to it.

We open with your standard video talking about a big match tonight, which here is Goldberg vs. Sting. Also Flair vs. Piper plus a few others but it’s mainly those two.

Tony is in a leather jacket for some reason. The announcers run down the card.

Tag Titles: Raven/Perry Saturn vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Raven and Saturn are back together again for some reason. The Horsemen (Benoit and Malenko) are heels. Raven and Saturn are rather popular. I really like WCW’s style in these matches as three are three men in the ring at once. Oh and Rey/Kidman are the champions. Kidman, Dean and Saturn start us off. Saturn is in a skirt due to a long story with Jericho.

Malenko gets beaten down and Saturn beats up Benoit who I guess got a tag. Saturn throws Kidman over the top in a release belly to belly. That landing looked SICK. You can’t tag someone from another team in this match. BIG Horsemen Suck chant. Raven covers Benoit and avoids a slingshot leg from Rey. Benoit and Kidman drape Raven over the top and then Benoit smashes Billy.

This is a very fast paced match so it’s hard to keep up with everything. A top rope splash by Kidman misses Benoit as Raven is on the floor. He manages to break up the Crossface though and double teams Benoit with Saturn. Frog splash to Benoit gets two. In a move that literally made my jaw drop, Dean launches Rey over his shoulder and Rey LANDS ON THE BUCKLE ON HIS FEET and hits a moonsault press for two. THAT WAS AWESOME.

Saturn dives on everyone not named Benoit and Raven. Benoit hits the Swan Dive to Raven for two but Saturn saves. The Horsemen double team Rey and now they beat up Saturn. The tagging aspect has been dropped for the time being. And of course just as I say that it’s officially Benoit vs. Kidman vs. Saturn. Kidman fights back and the fans cheer. BIG superkick from Saturn takes him down though. The crowd is really into this.

Benoit hits a springboard forearm over the top (think Jericho and his dropkick to the apron) to take out Saturn. The two of them are in the ring and a northern lights suplex gets two for the Canadian. Here are the Rolling Germans but Kidman makes the save. Dean gets a tag and gets rolled up by Saturn in a reversal to the Cloverleaf. Saturn is knocked to the floor and things slow down a bit.

Dean is like screw slow and KILLS Kidman with a powerbomb for two. Dragon Suplex to Kidman gets a delayed two. Dean tries to throw Billy into the air but Kidman hits a dropkick in mid air to break it up. Russian legsweep takes Benoit down and there’s the tag to Raven for a big reaction. He hits what we would call Three Amigos to Benoit for two. Back to Saturn who is a bit spent.

Rey vs. Saturn vs. Benoit at this point. Saturn saves a pin on Rey as Malenko and Kidman come in. Saturn and Benoit are down and Kidman isn’t sure who to jump on. Dean tries another powerbomb on him but Kidman rolls into a sunset flip. Everything breaks down and the champs hit a SWEET alley-oop rana to Benoit in the corner. They try it on Saturn but he hits a top rope sitout powerbomb to Rey for two. Arn comes in and hits a spinebuster on Saturn to HUGE heel heat. Someone in a Sting mask breaks up the Shooting Star by crotching Kidman. An elevated Even Flow gives Raven/Saturn the belts. Kanyon was in the mask.

Rating: B. This is better than probably any other match I’ve seen in all of WCW so far in 1999. They were all over the place in here and beating the living tar out of each other, which is the best thing you can ask for. Also the popular team wins off a big ending with the DDT. Very good match, but now things are going to fall through the floor, which is WCW in a nutshell.

Video on DDP.

Konnan vs. Stevie Ray

Horace and Vincent of the NWO Black and White are with Ray. The fans here in St. Louis are awesome as they’ll cheer for any face and boo any heel. Why is that so complex? Ray pounds him down in the corner but Konnan pounds him on the middle rope while making oral sex gestures. Vincent gets on the apron to break up a pin attempt. He cheats a bit more on the floor and the fans aren’t all that thrilled here.

Off to a chinlock as Ray thinks of something new he can do other than kicks and forearms. He chokes away which is at least new. Back to the chinlock for more time in the think tank. Suplex gets two and there’s the jump off the ropes into a boot spot. Konnan speeds things up and messes up a leapfrog. X Factor puts Ray down but Horace trips K-Dawg up. Here’s Rey to distract the goons and Konnan wins with a rollup (with a pretty fast count).

Rating: D-. Really dull match here but at least it was kind of logical: once Rey is there to counteract Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber, Konnan can get the pin on his own. Stevie is just so freaking boring without Booker there to help him out that there’s no need to have him out here, especially on a PPV. Boring match and not any good at all.

Video on Kevin Nash.

Video on Sting.

Page talks to Bigelow in the back but we can’t hear what’s being said.

Brian Knobbs vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

This is for the moniker King of Hardcore, which isn’t an official title. This of course is a hardcore match if you didn’t get the idea there. There isn’t going to be much to talk about in this. It’s your standard hardcore match with both guys being hit in the head with generic pieces of metal. There’s an RVD sign in the crowd. Heenan tells the announcers to be quiet so he can hear the weapon shots.

Bigelow hits a top rope headbutt for two. Out to the floor and there’s still nothing to talk about. It’s pretty much the same as every hardcore match you’ll ever see. Knobbs’ trashcan shot is blocked by a waiter’s tray which winds up going on top of Brian’s head. Bigelow is in control here. The fans want a table. There are long stretches here where there’s nothing to talk about. It’s just random weapon shots and the announcers laughing.

They fight up the aisle with Knobbs using a trashcan to keep control. There’s the internet location getting its required cameo. They go old school here with the fake souvenir stand that no fan would be able to get to because it’s on the arena floor. We go behind a curtain (revealing about 1/5 of the arena being tarped off) and there’s a ladder shot. An elbow off the stands onto a table misses for Knobbs (I think, you can’t see anything) and Bigelow suplexes him through the table for the pin.

Rating: F. Heenan’s final line of “and they do this for a living” sums things up well. Why in the world did Knobbs of all people have a job here? The match sucked due to there being nothing interesting here at all. There was no comedy spot, there was nothing other than the most basic weapons available, and nothing interesting happened at all. Bad match and really boring. Also it ran almost 12 minutes. Inexcusable.

We recap Rick Steiner vs. Booker. Booker won a match against Steiner with help from Stevie, who is in the NWO (Booker never was). Ray saved him again but Rick came in to beat him up. Rick vs. Booker started up again so let’s have a TV Title match again.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Booker T

Booker is champion here if I didn’t make that clear. Rick starts out with a belly to belly release and a couple of Steiner Lines. I think he’s the heel here but I’m not sure. More control by Steiner until Booker kicks him in the face to put him down. Steiner pops up of course because he isn’t going to sell anything. Off to a chinlock by Booker. I think he’s either heel here or borderline heel.

Steiner takes over on the floor and things slow way down. Time for a chinlock again. The crowd is very quiet. Steiner punches a lot and the fans don’t care. A bunch of punches gets two and here’s that chinlock again. Booker fights back and hits the axe kick, a spinebuster and the missile dropkick but STEINER WON’T SELL THEM. Here’s what happens after every move: Steiner lays there about 2-4 seconds then gets up like nothing happened. Scott finally runs out for the distraction and a Steiner Line gets two. Scott trips Booker and the Bulldog off the ropes gives Rick the title.

Rating: D. Just a horribly boring match here as Rick is beyond worthless in the ring at this point. Naturally the answer to that is to give him a title for four months. He wouldn’t sell ANYTHING Booker did here and Booker looks like a joke as a result. Bad match but as usual, most of it is due to Rick being lazy and not selling anything.

Time to recap the stupid match of the show. Randy Savage is out of wrestling at this point so he’s putting one of his chicks (the hot one) in there against Lil Naitch in the form of referee Charles Robinson. Yes this match is happening.

Rick rambles to Buff in the back and wishes him luck against Scott later. Gee, that must be totally genuine right?

Gorgeous George vs. Charles Robinson

Ok to be fair, Robinson’s Flair costume is AWESOME. He has the robe, he has the hair, he looks exactly like a small Nature Boy. Even his face looks like him. Flair and Savage are seconds here. Asya and the other chicks are here too. To be fair, George was indeed hot. Flair, the President of WCW at the time, says he’d like to have Madusa ride Space Mountain. Miss Maddness can come too, but George is being saved for Robinson. Robinson rips George a bit and he sounds EXACTLY like Flair. This is the best imitation I’ve seen in years. Savage (POP) says George will win.

Robinson struts a lot as they stall for a few minutes. George goes after the arm and Robinson reverses. Off to a full nelson and snapmare as George is dominant. Flair and Robinson get rammed together so Savage has to come in and protect George. Robinson goes for a chair but Miss Madness steals it. She gets slammed outside and Savage FREAKS. I mean freaks by his standards.

Back in Robinson takes over with a choke and then does more of that. George comes back with a few chops and Robinson does the flip in the corner and runs the apron, only to get slammed off the top. Heenan says this is great and I can’t say I disagree. There’s a Flair Flop and they’re getting tired. The heels cheat a bit and work over George’s knee but Madusa makes the save.

Robinson works on the knee and if the match continues like it has, that means we’re heading for the Figure Four. He hooks the knee a bit and cranks on it for awhile. Here’s the Figure Four and while it looks good, it’s on the wrong knee. She reverses it and Flair comes in for the save. Savage chases him off and beats up Robinson so George can drop a half decent looking middle rope elbow for the pin. Savage is reinstated.

Rating: D. Yes it was bad, but at the end of the day we have a referee and a manager in there. Robinson’s Flair impression is absolutely excellent and one of the best I’ve ever seen. George really is gorgeous and it’s a shame she wasn’t around in wrestling more than she was. That being said, this was decent enough all things considered. Ten and a half minutes was too long, but it wasn’t boring and they were trying which is more important than anything else.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. Buff Bagwell. Bagwell was a face and made fun of him so Steiner said he had a big ego. Bagwell imitated him and it wasn’t really funny.

US Title: Buff Bagwell vs. Scott Steiner

Since Bagwell never won a singles title, I think you know who is champion coming in. Buff jumps him before the bell and Steiner still has the belt on. Swinging neckbreaker gets two. Scott hits him low and there’s the Push-Up elbow. Buff gets thrown to the floor and Steiner yells at some fans. Things slow WAY down with Steiner on offense. It was a running theme with the Steiners at this point.

Scott chokes away and yells at another fan. Much like in the Rick match, you may be noticing a pattern emerging here. They go to the mat and Steiner elbows him a lot. He runs to the floor and brings in a chair. If that shot had hit Steiner would have been facing 10-15 years. Bagwell fights back but there goes the referee. Buff gets the chair and here’s Rick to turn heel on Buff and whack him with the chair. The Recliner keeps the title on Scott.

Rating: D-. I can’t take many more of these bad matches. I mean the people in them are just SO lazy with them laying around and doing nothing of note. Scott and Rick are back together as the Steiners and both have singles titles. You know, because that’s what the people wanted to see and would light the world on fire. Benoit and Jericho and Malenko? Who are they?

Video on Goldberg. These videos are just their music playing over clips of them. They only last about 15-20 seconds each.

Now to really crank it up, here’s a video on all four people in the main events. There aren’t any words to this so the feuds still aren’t explained.

The third straight video (at least they’re short) is on Flair being president and being insane. He’s signing contracts without reading them and one of them is for a match with Piper for the Presidency. Flair thinks he’s President of the United States. I kid you not, this was the second biggest wrestling company in the world at this point. Oh and he went to a mental hospital and thought he was in a hotel. Again, this is what we mean when we say insulting to our intelligence.

Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair

The winner is the president. Before things get going, referee Johnny Boone is fired and Charles Robinson replaces him. Flair runs his mouth and gets slapped to get us going. Piper knocks him to the floor and let’s take a break after that. He boxes Flair, seemingly hitting him in the chest and neck, but Flair falls anyway. He hits a low blow to take over and Robinson yells at Piper for choking.

Flair yells at Anderson to beat on Piper when he throws him outside. Flair throws Piper outside and Anderson beats on him. Asya comes in for a low blow and this is about as far from serious as you could want it to be. Flair chops away in the corner and Piper chops back. Robinson cheats on a cover and says Flair keeps getting his shoulder up. There’s the Flair Flip in the corner and they go to the outside.

Piper rams Flair’s head into Flair’s arm but we’ll say it was the post anyway. Back in the ring they ram heads and both guys are down. After about 2 seconds of leg softening here’s the Figure Four. Piper tries a sunset flip and there go the trunks. He hooks Flair in the Figure Four and Flair screams that he gives up but Robinson ignores it. Anderson breaks it up but gets thrown in a sleeper. Now Flair in the sleeper. Asya runs in and gets kissed and put in a sleeper as well. The referee gets decked and Flair hits Piper with an illegal object for the pin.

Rating: The chipmunk has pneumonia. I better take him to the embassy before he deletes the remote control of reality and I run out of apple juice. If he does that, there will be a great and mighty feast in the great archway of the flippyflook.

And that was more logical than putting this match on PPV. But wait: there’s more.

Here’s Eric Bischoff who hasn’t been seen in awhile and has no authority whatsoever in this company. He says Piper is the winner and that Flair can bite him. Somehow this stands. Eric and Piper hug to a face pop (intentional I’d assume but who knows with this company?) and Piper fires Flair. Just….yeah.

Recap of Sting vs. Goldberg. This is for who the franchise is or something.

Sting vs. Goldberg

Tony is either trying to explain what we just saw or is questioning it himself. I’m really not sure. I’m also not sure why this match is happening but who cares? Sting has white boots with black toes. It makes as much sense as anything else here. Goldberg takes him down and snaps off a powerslam for no cover. Sting stalls on the floor and then takes Goldberg to the floor with a clothesline.

Goldberg hooks a cross armbreaker but it isn’t on correctly. Sting fights out of it and we go to a test of strength. He takes out Goldberg’s braced knee (oh sweet psychology, how I missed you) and puts on a Boston Crab which is quickly broken. Goldberg fights back with power moves and things slow WAY down. Top rope clothesline by Sting sets up some Stinger Splashes but Goldberg catches him in a spinebuster which is called a spear. And here’s Bret Hart with a chair and it’s a no contest.

Rating: D. Another bad match. I mean seriously, this show SUCKS. There’s been nothing but boring matches (aside from the opener) and stuff that is basically around to set up matches on Nitro rather than HERE ON THE FREAKING PPV. Nothing to see here as they basically kept it as slow gear as possible.

And then the Steiners run out and beat up Goldberg and Sting. WHY ARE THEY THE FOCAL POINT OF A SHOW IN 1999????

Another wordless video on Page vs. Nash. No word on why they’re fighting but there’s clearly no thinking anywhere else in this show so who cares?

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kevin Nash

And Buffer’s mic doesn’t work right. Seriously, fold already. You can hear him in the arena but not over the PPV feed. Page is champion. Early Cutter attempt is blocked and Page hits the floor. We actually get a reference to the Vegas Connection. Page hammers away but runs his mouth to get himself sent to the floor. Back inside and Nash hammers away. Page charges at Nash and finally kicks him low to take over.

Page rips a buckle off and hits him with the mic for two. He gets sent into the exposed steel though and both guys are down. Page takes over and sends him to the floor. A baseball slide puts Nash down and there’s a Diamond Cutter to kill Nash out there. It only gets two in the ring but at least there was a delay. Now Page goes for the knee for no apparent reason.

He wraps it around the post a few times and pounds on Nash again. There’s something going on in the crowd so they change the camera angle, which is pretty smart. Nash makes his comeback and hits Snake Eyes onto the buckle. Back to the regular angle. Nash….at least limp. Big boot and Jackknife….but here’s Savage to break it up for the LAME DQ. So is he a heel now too?

I would rate it here, but Eric comes out AGAIN and restarts the match. Russian legsweep gets two for the champ. Discus lariat gets the same. And here’s a sleeper, which looks awful because Nash is so tall. Now Nash hooks an even WORSE sleeper but Page jawbreaks his way out of it for two. A chair shot hits the rope and Page takes it in the face for two. Low blow gets two for Page. And then Nash kicks the chair into Page’s face, takes the straps down and wins the title via the Jackknife.

Rating: D. The fans popped for the ending, but I’m just spent at this point. There’s nothing interesting here and the run in and restart made no sense, which is what the name of the show should be. Nash would hold the title for a few months before dropping it to Savage before Hogan took it the next night. This was nothing interesting at all and the knee selling coming and going hurt things.

Overall Rating: F-. This is usually were I’d make some witty statement about how this show was so bad it goes beyond bad ratings or something, but there’s nothing left in me after watching this mess. The illogical stories, the stupid booking, the overdoing it with the Steiners, the worthless world title change, and the bad matches just made me completely uninterested by the end of this show. I haven’t felt like that about a PPV in a very long time, but this just drained me completely.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 8, 1999
Location: Civic Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 13,497
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

we’re inching closer to Wrestlemania now with only Raws to go before the big night. At the moment though, the main story continues to be Vince vs. Undertaker with Austin and Rock off in a corner doing their own thing to get ready for the biggest match of the year. You can clearly see what the card should be for Wrestlemania and the build for it hasn’t been bad at all. Let’s get to it.

Oh and for you history people: this show was taped on Tuesday as was almost every other Raw. Before the show, Sunday Night Heat was taped as well. During that show, Indian wrestler Tiger Ali Singh would ask fans if they would do various things for money, including blowing their nose in an American flag. One fan agreed to do so for $5000 but instead used Singh’s Indian flag. Singh attacked him and was belly to belly suplexed. The fan’s name: Kurt Angle, in his WWF TV debut.

We open with a recap from Heat last night with Rock calling out Paul Wight until Austin’s music hit. Rock sent Show to head him off but Austin snuck through the crowd and Stunned the champ.

Here’s Rock to open things up. He has a problem with Paul Wight (whose name needs to change already) and we get a clip of the Stunner from last night. Instead here’s Vince who doesn’t look happy either. He tells Rock to stop airing corporate laundry in public, or else certain corporate members might start wondering what the Rock is smoking. Vince blames the fans for these circumstances for putting such pressure on the Rock. He assures Rock that Wight is a card carrying member of the Corporation in good standing.

Rock believes what Vince is saying but there have been far too many coincidences involving Paul Wight for there to be nothing to all of this. Rock doesn’t like the cards that Wight is carrying, and here’s Wight himself. Wight says that it was Rock who sent him into the aisle to head off Austin, leading to the Stunner. Maybe it’s not worth all of Vince’s money. Maybe he should give the money back and take the Bull and his horns and shove them…..somewhere that we don’t get to hear because Mankind’s music interrupts.

Apparently Mankind is officially the second guest referee in the main event of Wrestlemania. Did I mention that Russo was booking things at this point? Mankind says that if Rock and Wight want to get it on, he’s more than willing to be the referee for the fight. If you smell what the Sock is cooking that is.

Vince says Mankind isn’t quite the guest referee at Wrestlemania yet. Instead Mankind has to face Austin first (no mention of Mankind winning) right here tonight with Paul Wight as guest referee. Did I mention WWF was OBSESSED with guest referees at this point? Vince offers Rock a spot on commentary for the match. We’re still not done though as here’s Austin with something to say.

Austin says that everyone is out here making rulings which don’t mean anything to him. He doesn’t care about any of these people because no matter who the guest referee is going to be at Wrestlemania or tonight, he’s walking out of Philadelphia with the WWF Title. Simple but effective promo here.

The Ministy is here en masse and looking for the Boss Man. They destroy some jobbers in the locker room.

Austin is talking to Mankind and reiterates that he doesn’t care who the referee is.

D’Lo Brown vs. Owen Hart

This is a street fight because what would a match be without a gimmick right? For the first time we hear about a battle royal on Heat the night of Wrestlemania with the final two men getting a tag title shot. That’s how bad the tag division was at this point. Brown pounds away with what looks like a street sign to start but gets caught by a spinning heel kick to give the Canadian control. A piledriver down onto the sign gets two for Hart.

They head to the floor with Brown being sent into the steps. King is talking about Salty Balls from South Park as they head up the ramp. Brown finally gets in a low blow and a clothesline to put Owen down. They’re on the stage now and Owen comes right back down with a DDT onto the steel. Back to the ring they go with Brown shrugging off the DDT and pounding away with the sign. Both guys find broomsticks from somewhere and ram them together, which puts both guys down for some reason. Jeff Jarrett comes out with a guitar but Brown intercepts it and knocks Owen out cold for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m not wild on this kind of stuff with Brown getting up from a piledriver and DDT onto steel like they were nothing of note at all. That was really distracting in what was just a five minute match. I’m assuming Henry was injured at this point because having it as a handicap feud isn’t quite working at the moment.

There’s a sign in the crowd of D’Lo posing on the ropes and his head slides back and forth. That’s rather awesome.

Taker sends the Ministry out to find the Boss Man.

New Age Outlaws vs. Al Snow/Hardcore Holly

During the entrances we’re told about Hardcore Holly vs. Snow vs. Road Dogg at Mania for the Hardcore Title. Remember that match. Holly pounds on Roadie to start but Snow tags himself in, ticking off the champion. Snow gets in some shots of his own but Holly tags himself right back in. Now Snow and Holly get in a fight over who gets to beat up Road Dogg, allowing Roadie to tag in Gunn. The hardcore guys get in another fight and Snow hits Holly with Head. A spike piledriver on Holly ends this quick.

Post match the lights go out and the Ministry arrives to beat up all four guys. Taker says tonight, Boss Man will come face to face with his maker and the lord of darkness.

Jim Ross gives Steve Williams a pep talk, explaining how great Williams is.

Here’s JR to the arena with a bag in his hand. He asks Cole to get in the ring and says he has a revolutionary idea. JR talks about how this is sports entertainment and not wrestling. He pulls out a red gi, pants and a mask. Apparently this is the gimmick that was created for Steve Williams and that’s a bunch of nonsense. As for Cole, JR talks about how he was the first man to come to Cole and ask if there was anything he could do. Cole never thanked JR for this and now Cole sits there like a little pretty boy. Apparently Cole tried to steal JR’s job so JR kicks him low. Ross gets back on commentary now as this stupid angle continues.

Vince and the Stooges tell Terry Taylor that Cole is off for the rest of the night and to go remove JR from commentary. The Stooges are assigned to watch the Ministry.

Terry Taylor comes out to remove JR from commentary as Ross goes on a rant about wanting to make a living. JR makes Red Rooster jokes and Steve Williams comes out to back JR but he leaves anyway. This is such a stupid angle. Taylor and Lawler are on commentary now.

Ryan Shamrock is on Goldust’s lap in the back and Blue Meanie is jealous of her.

The Stooges go looking for the Ministry in druid attire.

Ken Shamrock vs. Goldust

Shamrock meets Goldust in the aisle and rams him into the steps before going inside the ring. Now we go in for the bell and Shamrock pounds him into the corner before getting up an elbow to stop a charging Goldust. Goldie gets in a shot to the head and loads up Shattered Dreams, but he sees Meanie kissing Ryan on the floor. The distraction lets Shamrock hit a belly to belly suplex for the fast pin. This was again, an angle instead of a match.

Post match Shamrock beats up Blue Meanie as Goldust escapes with Ryan.

Shane, Test and Chyna are walking in the back.

Brisco and Patterson find some Ministry members and Brisco wants to go in and beat them down.

Test vs. X-Pac

Shane jumps in on commentary. Test LAUNCHES Pac over the top rope to start in a very impressive power display. Back in and Test rolls away from the Bronco Buster but Pac puts the brakes on before crotching himself. A big boot takes Pac’s head off as Shane is his usual VERY excited self. The full nelson slam gets two for Test and it’s off to the chinlock. Pac fights up but gets taken down by a very quick neckbreaker for two more.

We get the stupid “dive into a raised boot” spot from Test and both guys are down. Back up and a quick clothesline gets two for Pac, but he walks into a gutwrench powerbomb for two. Pac comes back with a spin kick as HHH stops Shane from interfering. Chyna gets taken out as well and there’s the Bronco Buster to Test. The melee lets Shane hit Pac with the European Title to give Test the easy pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and thankfully we didn’t have to see X-Pac do the giant killer thing here again. This set up Shane vs. X-Pac even more which wasn’t all that bad of a feud for the most part. Considering Shane wasn’t a wrestler, he did quite well in this role. Also his commentary here was somewhere between amazing and really annoying but it worked well enough.

Post match Chyna lays out HHH with a clothesline.

HHH says he’s sick of this and he’s going to drag Chyna to this ring and humiliate her right here tonight.

Patterson and Brisco (with what sounds like Vince’s voice giving them instructions) barge in and find Godfather and his ho’s. Comedy ladies and gentlemen.

HHH is hunting for Chyna.

Steve Blackman vs. Godfather

Before the match, Godfather offers Blackman a choice of either having the match or leaving with the Ho’s. Blackman leaves with the girls. That’s more interesting than the match would have been anyway. Droz tries to run in but gets beaten down…..and here’s the Ministry to take all three guys out. Taker asks how many people have to be attacked until Boss Man shows up. There will be a sacrifice tonight.

Here’s Chyna to the ring to call out HHH. He’s here almost immediately but as HHH gets to the ring, the lights go out and here comes Kane. HHH goes after Kane but Chyna grabs the Game’s arms. Kane loads up a fireball but hits Chyna by mistake. HHH immediately looks after her but Kane shoves HHH away and covers up her face. EMT’s get beaten up as well.

Post break Kane is holding a towel over Chyna’s face in the back.

Tori vs. Luna Vachon

Are you a big fan of someone in the WWF? In just two weeks, you too can be in a wrestling match on Monday Night Raw! Sable is on commentary here. We get some clips of an autograph signing of Sable’s Playboy and there are a lot of people in line. Make no mistake: she was a BIG deal back then. Sable brings King a copy of the Playboy and he freaks out. Luna spears Tori down to start and drops her with a DDT for no cover. Terry doesn’t get to look in the magazine as Luna chokes Tori enough for a DQ. This was another 45 second “match”.

Post match Sable rips off Tori’s Sable shirt. She also takes the Playboy back from King.

Boss Man shows up and is met by Taker but the Ministry surrounds him for the beatdown. WWF does realize that this is the Big Boss Man right?

Post break the Ministry drags Boss Man to the arena and sacrifice him, meaning they tie him to Taker’s symbol. It looks like a crucifixion which is still pretty creepy stuff. Taker says the Corporation will fall until there is only one left and then SHE will fall as well. Boss Man breaks off the symbol and the Corporation comes out for a brawl with Paul Wight cleaning house. The police finally show up and Taker puts his hands out to be arrested, lighting his symbol on fire in the process.

Post break Taker is put in a cop car with Vince talking trash.

Steve Austin vs. Mankind

Rock is on commentary and Wight is the referee. Austin and Wight argue a lot but Austin catches Mankind coming in and they head to the floor. Mankind whips him into the steps to take over as the fans go nuts for Austin. Steve goes face first into the announce table but moves before Mankind can dive off the middle rope to the table. Austin knocks him off the announce table and stomps a mudhole as Rock freaks out. They head back inside with Mankind hitting something resembling a Stunner onto the top rope to put Austin down.

Austin comes right back and crotches Mankind against the post before they head back inside. Mankind apparently is rocking the testicular fortitude tonight because the crotching seems to have had no effect. He pounds Austin right back down to the floor but misses the running knee into the steps. Instead it’s Austin ramming Mankind face first into the steps before heading back inside for a sleeper. A quick reversal by Mankind is countered into a jawbreaker and both guys are down.

Austin misses the running crotch attack in 619 position and an elbow drop gets two for Mankind. Off to a front facelock of all things, which might be the only instance of such a move in this era. Mankind shifts it over into a chinlock instead but Austin fights up into a double clothesline.

Steve gets up first and stomps a mudhole in Mankind before hitting the running crotch attack for two. Mankind puts him down with the double arm DDT and here’s Socko. The Stunner is countered with an elbow to the face and there’s the Claw with Austin on the apron. Wight counts INSANELY fast and Austin is counted out, making Mankind the second referee at Wrestlemania.

Rating: C. Not their best work here as this was mainly random brawling before the screwy ending. This was another match where the ending didn’t make much sense at the time as there’s no reason for the Corporation to want Mankind to be involved in the main event of Wrestlemania at all. I’m sure we’ll get a convoluted answer soon enough though.

Post match Wight chokeslams Mankind as Vince comes out to…..do something that he doesn’t get to do as Austin gets in as well. Wight gets between the two of them, allowing Rock to jump Austin and run. Kind of a lame ending segment here.

Overall Rating: D+. As was the case last week, it’s very clear that Austin vs. Rock is kind of happening in the background of Undertaker vs. McMahon, which would go on for months after Wrestlemania ended. The Boss Man was a horrible choice to put in that spot, especially when you have people like Paul Wight and Kane to fight Undertaker. Kane feuding with HHH makes sense, but for goodness’ sake Wight is fighting to be a guest referee later in the show. Not a good show but at least the world title got some buildup.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 1, 1999
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 16,566
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re a week later here in McMahon Land and the saga between Vince and the Undertaker continues. We’re also rolling towards Wrestlemania with Rock vs. Austin firmly in sight. Austin is back at the show tonight after doing media stuff last week. The card should start to fill out a bit more now that we’re only a few weeks away from the big show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Bearer giving Vince the teddy last week and Undertaker setting it on fire.

Here’s the entire Corporation to get things going. Vince talks about the end of the show last week and the one moment where he lost control. The fans aren’t pleased with seeing Vince tonight. He talks about how much he loves his family and how the fans don’t get that because they’re amoebas. That kind of embarrassment will never happen to him again, ever. Tonight, Undertaker gets a surprise as well which we’ll find out later. As for Kane, he broke a promise to Vince last week by losing. Therefore, Kane is fired.

The people from the sanitarium come out to get Kane but Chyna goes to the floor with Kane and beats up all the guys in the white coats. Apparently this is a thank you to Kane for saving her last night on Sunday Night Heat. Chyna says Kane can be an asset to Vince because she can control him. She’ll accept responsibility for him and he should get Austin tonight. If he loses, he can be fired. Vince says deal, but Chyna’s job is on the line too.

This brings out Mankind who still wants to be guest referee in the main event of Wrestlemania. He can prove his skills by refereeing the Kane vs. Austin match but Vince doesn’t seem interested. McMahon offers to let Mankind referee tonight’s main event if he can beat Undertaker first. Mankind accepts but there go the lights. Cue Undertaker’s voice which says he’s coming for Vince.

Ryan Shamrock is seen adjusting her short dress while leaving a locker room.

Austin is told he’s facing Kane and he doesn’t seem to care.

Intercontinental Title: Val Venis vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Goldust

Val is defending and this is supposed to have Billy Gunn as well but he’s got a lung condition or something like that. Val charges right in at Shamrock and Goldie jumps Ken from behind for some double teaming. Cue Ryan Shamrock as Ken gets caught in a spinebuster for two by Val.

Goldust takes Val into the corner and rubs his own chest, only to get caught by a low blow from the champion. Now it’s Val getting double teamed down in the corner but as usual Goldust and Ken get in a fight over who gets to cover. Goldie is sent to the floor but as Ken is about to finish off Val, Goldust kisses Ryan. Ken goes after him and both guys are counted out. In a triple threat?

Rating: D. As usual, more matches used to advance angles instead of the other way around for Russo. The idea is that Ryan has had moments with everyone and the question would be who would she side with at Wrestlemania. It’s a decent enough story that would be copied with AJ Lee in the year 2012, but things will get messed up soon.

Post match Billy Gunn runs out and jumps Venis.

Jim Ross is back from his bout with Bell’s Palsy (facial paralysis) and will return tonight.

Here’s JR (nice ovation) to interview Bart Gunn. JR asks him about his Brawl for All at Wrestlemania….before complaining about Bart not looking straight at him. Ross’ mouth is a bit messed up and he goes into a rant about being told he couldn’t be on TV because his face was messed up.

Bart wants to know what this has to do with him and JR rants more about how Bart Gunn knocked out Steve Williams. Steve and JR are friends so it was a big embarrassment to Ross. He shoves Bart and demands respect before slapping Gunn in the face. Gunn shoves him into the corner until Williams shows up to destroy Bart. Yep, they’re turning JIM ROSS heel. This would happen more than once.

D’Lo Brown is talking to Ivory in the back about something.

Tag Titles: HHH/X-Pac vs. Jeff Jarrett/Owen Hart

DX is accepting an open challenge and if they win the titles, Debra will disrobe. HHH and Pac clear the ring to start until we get down to Jarrett vs. Pac. A big heel kick takes Jeff down for no cover and it’s off to HHH. HHH misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Owen. Things are moving very fast so far here. A facebuster puts Hart down but Jeff breaks up the Pedigree. Back to Jarrett who misses the running crotch attack in 619 position but Owen comes in with a sleeper to keep HHH in trouble.

A jawbreaker breaks up the hold and there’s the hot tag to X-Pac. The X-Factor gets two on Jeff as everything breaks down. There’s the Bronco Buster to Jeff followed by another X-Factor but Debra distracts the referee. Debra gets knocked off and Shane McMahon pops in to send Pac into the steps. Owen breaks up a Pedigree as Ivory shows up. The match is finally thrown out due to all the insanity.

Rating: C-. I was digging this until the WAY overdone ending. It’s a four and a half minute tag match and we had two run ins and manager interference. Was there any need to have anything other than a big brawl to end the match via DQ after Debra got on the apron? Shane and Ivory could have easily done their run ins after the match, but why have a match when you can have multiple angles?

Post match D’Lo Brown jumps the tag champions and Ivory strips Debra down to her underwear.

After a break Debra challenges Ivory for later tonight. As in an actual match. I’m shocked too.

Here are Luna and Tori who are apparently friends now after last week. Luna says that now Tori is a fan of hers and Luna is a fan of Tori. They’re standing up for the fans that Sable has scorned to get to the top and tonight, Luna is bringing Sable back down to earth. Sable comes out and Tori turns on Luna about two minutes after joining her. Sable powerbombs Luna for good measure. Tori offers Sable a high five and Sable walks away.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Road Dogg

I miss these random title matches. They give you a reason to watch because while a title change isn’t likely, you never quite know. Rock pounds away to start but walks into a dropkick out of nowhere. Dogg gets a boot up in the corner but gets caught in a DDT for two. Here’s Paul Wight for no apparent reason as Rock keeps pounding Dogg down. They head over to the announce table and Rock does some commentary. Apparently when you check into the Smackdown Hotel you get a complementary fist in the mouth.

Back in and a Russian legsweep gets two for Rock and Paul Wight adds in a headbutt for good measure. A Samoan Drop stops Roadie’s comeback bid but Rock misses a charge into the corner. Dogg hits his usual stuff like the Juke and Jive followed by the shaky knee drop. Not that it matters though as it’s Rock Bottom and the Elbow for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here but Rock was entertaining as always. I liked the idea here of throwing Road Dogg out there to make Rock look good. It’s not like Road Dogg loses anything from this because Rock is at a far higher level than he is, so why not give us something simple like this?

Post match here’s Al Snow (“A schizophrenic psychopath from Lima, Ohio whose hobbies are Hardcore Title matches and needlepoint!”) with a chair. He complains about Dogg making him job, but Dogg takes the chair away and cracks Snow in the head with it a few times. Hardcore Holly, the Hardcore Champion, comes out but gets a chair to the head as well. Dogg leaves, saying they can meet him in the parking lot if they like.

Chyna gives Kane a pep talk.

Dogg is in the parking lot with a broken broomstick and is waiting for Snow and Holly.

Here’s Public Enemy dressed up as the Brood for some reason. They say they’re not afraid of the blood….and there go the lights. They come back on and Grunge is alone in the ring minus Flyboy.

We go to the back where Dogg and Holly are fighting. After a break they’re still fighting with Holly throwing Dogg into whatever he can find at the moment. This isn’t a match of any kind. You can hear a bell ringing in the arena and apparently a match started while this was going on.

Droz vs. Steve Blackman

This is a kendo stick match, meaning you win by knocking your opponent off your feet. They hit each other a few times and head to the floor before hitting each other again. Droz is knocked down but there’s no referee. Instead Droz knocks Blackman down and wins in maybe 40 seconds. Was there a point to this at all?

Dogg and Holly are on a set of stairs now with Holly in control. They head up the stairs and Dogg is thrown out the door. Cue Al Snow to jump both guys and they brawl into the street (after looking both ways of course).

Video on Shane McMahon being tough.

We see Rocko strung up with blood all over him. As in I thought he was wearing a red shirt until I saw a few spots of white.

Here’s Vince for commentary for the next match. As he sits down, he casually throws out that it’s Undertaker vs. Boss Man inside Hell in a Cell at Wrestlemania.

Undertaker vs. Mankind

Vince still won’t answer what the bear means. They trade right hands in the corner with Undertaker hitting a running clothesline to take over. Mankind avoids an elbow and pounds away but misses a charge into the corner. Taker works on the shoulder which hit the post but as he launches Old School Mankind grabs the Mandible Claw.

They head to the floor with Undertaker being sent into the steps. Mankind hitting a running knee to slam Taker’s head into the steps and Vince sounds like a thirteen year old opening his first Playboy. Vince gets up for some reason, allowing Taker to get in a chair shot to Mankind’s back. We have a double countout apparently.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad for a four minute match and this pairing is always worth seeing even in the short form. Again though, this was all about the story going on instead of the match which gets really annoying to see after awhile. On top of that, Boss Man vs. Undertaker did nothing for anyone and the announcement didn’t help anything.

Post match Undertaker goes after Vince but Boss Man comes out with a nightstick shot to break up a chokeslam through the table. The Ministry runs him off so Mankind gets chokeslammed.

The Corporation bails out.

Ivory vs. Debra

Jarrett and Hart are ejected before we get going. Ivory immediately chokes her down but here are Terri and Jackie for the DQ. Jackie lost to Ivory on Heat last night.

Kane vs. Steve Austin

If Kane loses he and Chyna are fired. Austin goes right after him to start and they slug it out in the corner. A backdrop puts Austin down before he can even get out of his vest. Kane charges into a boot in the corner and Austin wraps the knee around the post. Austin stays on the leg and the fans are WAY behind him here. Kane guillotines him on the top rope and gets two off a DDT.

The match slows down a bit as Kane pounds on Austin’s chest on the floor only to be sent into the steps. Chyna hits Austin from behind and Austin goes after her, only to catch a charging Kane in a backdrop over the barricade and into the crowd. Well you knew we were getting some brawling in an Austin match. Back to ringside and Kane rams Austin back first into the post before dropping him face first onto the barricade.

Chyna gets in some shots before Kane slams Austin face first into the steps. We head back inside and a backbreaker gets two for Kane as the crowd has calmed down a good bit. Austin tries a sleeper but Kane is just too tall. Off to a bearhug by Kane but Austin punches out. The Stunner is countered and the referee goes down, but Austin escapes the tombstone bid and hits the second Stunner attempt.

Chyna breaks up the cover at two but Kane breaks up a Stunner on her. A belly to back suplex puts Austin down and here’s Paul Wight. The top rope clothesline hits Austin for two and Kane pounds away in the corner. The crowd is getting back into it again and there’s a low blow to Kane. Austin stomps a mudhole and hits the Thesz Press as Wight slides in a chair. Two chair shots to Kane’s head puts him down but that’s not a DQ. Chyna hits Austin low but that’s not one either. Now Kane holds Austin for Wight but the giant kicks the smaller giant by mistake. Austin walks out to end the show and Kane/Chyna keep their jobs.

Rating: B-. This was a rather fun main event as these two had some decent chemistry together. The problem for them is they never really got a chance to work together all that much as their most famous match is a gimmick match and all about drama instead of action. I likes this a lot more than I thought I would have.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a good example of the adage about Russo being true: when he has the talent to work with and someone to stop him from charging off a cliff, he would put together some very entertaining television. There were a lot of stories going on here and the build for Wrestlemania is starting to come together. The one guy being left out of it though is Austin. He hasn’t interacted with Rock in weeks, he wasn’t here last week and he was thrown into the main event tonight as a warm body for Kane and Chyna’s issues. That’s a really strange use of the top guy in the company.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 22, 1999
Location: UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 7,900
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re about five weeks from Wrestlemania and it’s been awhile since I’ve looked at Raw from this year. The main story going on right now is that Rock is the world champion again and Big Show is now around as Vince’s latest heavy. The main event tonight is Kane vs. Undertaker in an inferno match, which is a pretty big deal for Raw. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from last week with Big Show costing Mankind the world title last week in the ladder match.

Here’s Vince to open things up. He tells us that tonight is not a night for the squeamish because tonight we’re roasting human flesh. This is payback against Undertaker for his threats against Vince. Presumably they’re talking about the envelope from last week but the contents weren’t explained yet. Now let’s talk about Wrestlemania and what might be the most electrifying WWF Title match in history. A guy in the crowd has a sign made up like a street corner with Know Your Role Boulevard and Jabroni Drive.

Vince brings out Paul Wight, who would become known as Big Show and will be refereeing the Rock vs. Austin match in five weeks. Show says he’s walked out of a nightmare and promises that the WWF will never be the same again. In two days, Austin went flying through a steel cage (and beat your boss at the same time Big Show) and then Mankind lost the WWF Title.

Now here’s Rock to a pretty big face pop. Vince gives him an intro like only a wrestling promoter can. Now we get the ROCKY SUCKS chants to make things all better. Rock isn’t pleased with Big Show taking credit for Rock being WWF Champion. Show says he said it and he’s surprised Rock heard it through that thick skull of his. Rock wants to know who Big Show thinks he is because he should know his role and shut his mouth. Show tells the Pebble to close his mouth before Show closes it with his fist. Rock’s ready to go and they get nose to nose, but here’s Mankind.

He wants to be the guest referee for the main event and to prove what he’s capable of, he wants to referee Rock vs. Big Show tonight. Even Socko has a referee shirt painted on. Big Show likes the idea of a title match tonight and the fans seems interested as well. Rock says let’s to it and I guess we have a second main event.

Post break the Corporation has to keep Rock and Big Show apart in the back.

Brood vs. Public Enemy

Yeah ECW’s Public Enemy had a cup of coffee in the WWF. The Brood is Gangrel and Edge here and they’re part of the Ministry. They jump Public Enemy as they come in and send the two ECW guys together to take over. Edge dives on Rocco in the corner but Grunge trips them up and takes both Brood members out with a double bulldog. A hiptoss into a double kind of powerbomb puts Gangrel down but not for a cover. Instead they hit the Quebecers’ old Cannonball move onto Gangrel but Christian runs in for the DQ. This was barely 90 seconds long.

Public Enemy leaves but gets a blood bath for their efforts.

During the break the Ministry beat up the Brood for losing the match.

Ken Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn

The winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot at Wrestlemania. Val Venis, the champion, is on commentary. Billy can’t quite do the Outlaws entrance like Roadie can. It’s a brawl on the floor to start before we head inside. Billy misses a splash in the corner as Val makes a lot of sex jokes. The belly to belly gets two for Shamrock but Gunn comes back with a Fameasser. Shamrock looks…..how would you put it……he looks like a confused Sylvester Stallone.

Anyway Ken comes back up with a hard clothesline as Val makes erection jokes. The leg lariat sets up a standing rana on Billy, sending him to the floor. Val throws him back in but Shamrock jumps Val as a result. Gunn goes to the floor as well and the big brawl causes the match to be thrown out.

Rating: D+. Shamrock was good but the jokes on commentary sounded like they were from a 12 year old. The three way feud was interesting, but Billy wouldn’t wrestle either guy at Wrestlemania for reasons of Russo stupidity. This solved nothing but there are still several weeks until Wrestlemania.

Vince tries to talk Rock down but Rock will have none of it.

Here’s Women’s Champion Sable as her heel turns continues. Sable talks about how the fans aren’t taken aback by her recent actions, but rather they’re just in awe. She brags about being on Regis and Kathy Lee before stopping to talk to her obsessed fan Tori. This time Tori gets to come into the ring and introduce herself. Tori talks about all the things she admires about Sable but Sable calls her pathetic and says Tori needs to get a life.

As Tori is about to cry, here’s Luna to speak very humbly. She says that everyone can’t be as beautiful as Sable. Everyone has to play the cards they’re dealt but they don’t use people like Sable does. The only reason Sable is Women’s Champion is because of her looks. Well that and the willingness to take off her clothes for Playboy but that isn’t mentioned. Sable says she only cares about the men and Luna needs to reshuffle the deck if she doesn’t like her cards. As the champion is about to leave she lays out Luna and Tori with the belt.

Now Vince tries to talk Show down but he wants the shot tonight. He makes a good point by saying whoever wins, the belt will still be in the Corporation.

Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett vs. D’Lo Brown

Owen and Jeff are tag champions and took out Brown’s partner Mark Henry recently. The champions jump Brown to start until we get down to just Jeff in the ring. A quick Sky High gets two on Jarrett but Owen comes in with a surprise bulldog to take over. Owen comes in legally and gets two off the enziguri before it’s back to Jeff for a middle rope ax handle to the face. Brown fights out of the corner and takes both champions down, but here are Terri and Jacqueline with the latter dropkicking Brown into a spinwheel kick from Owen for the pin.

Rating: D. Have I ever mentioned how much I can’t stand Jacqueline? Her mere presence brings a match downhill as she’s so ridiculously annoying that I hate the match that much more. The PMS vs. Brown feud would go on for far longer than anyone cared and would stop Brown’s momentum. The tag division was in such a mess at this point and it would take the Dudleys to save it.

Post match the champions beat down D’Lo.

Mankind practices being a referee in the back.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Paul Wight

Vince comes out to try to calm them down again and Mankind is guest referee. Rock tells Vince to go do commentary because he doesn’t want to be in the middle of this fight. The bell rings…..and it’s a setup as they both jump Mankind. Vince: “THIS IS FUN!”

Mankind gets beaten down by all three guys.

The Corporation celebrates post match.

Steve Blackman vs. Droz

Droz, who is just back from a two week suspension for attacking Kevin Kelly, jumps Blackman to start. A quick sunset flip gets two for Steve but a jumping elbow drop gets the same for Droz. Steve is sent to the floor as this match is hardly keeping people’s attention. Droz misses a middle rope elbow and Steve comes back with basic strikes. An elbow drop gets two for Blackman as does a powerslam for Droz. The bicycle kick gets the pin for Blackman.

Rating: D. Does this need an explanation? I didn’t think so.

Post match Droz lays out Blackman with Steve’s martial arts sticks.

Vince tells Kane to make Undertaker burn.

Undertaker gives one of those evil promos where he talks about serving his master. He isn’t afraid of the inferno match at all. There’s a surprise for Vince tonight.

Goldust vs. Val Venis

Non-title here. Goldust takes him down to start and pounds away in the corner, only to be run over by a Venis clothesline out of the corner. An elbow drop misses and Goldie goes after the knee with some kicks and a shinbreaker. Val comes back with some running knees into the ribs and a Russian legsweep for no cover. We get the bump and grind from Venis and a spinebuster gets no cover on Goldie. Val tries a leapfrog but crotches himself in the process, sending him out to the floor. Venis pulls him out as well as the Blue Meanie is here. With Goldust thrown back inside, Meanie lays Val out with a DDT, giving Goldust the pin.

Rating: D+. Again not much to see here but this would lead to the bizarre but perfectly appropriate for the time period feud between Goldust and Meanie, leading to Blue Dust. I don’t quite get the need for the champion to lose by (dirty) pin but it’s not like the title meant anything in 1999 anyway.

Shane models his new European Title for Chyna.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Holly vs. Bart Gunn

THE NEW MIDNIGHT EXPRESS BUBBLES A BIT! Yeah there’s no way this team could ever explode. Bob is defending coming in. Gunn starts with some left hands as we head to the outside. Bob cracks a glass or a jar over Bart’s head and grabs a chair. A hard shot to the head puts Bart down for no cover followed by a shot to the back. Bart comes back with a water pitcher of his own to Hardcore’s head followed by I think the bell.

They head into the crowd with Holly being rammed head first into a piece of the exposed barricade. Back to ringside and Holly blasts him with a spray from a fire extinguisher. Bart gets sent shoulder first into the steps but comes back with a suplex onto the ramp for two. Now Holly is sent into the steps and sprayed with the extinguisher for good measure. They head up the ramp with Bart being sent into the set under the Titantron.

Bart finds a watermelon for no apparent reason and breaks it open over Holly’s head. A piece of metal gets cracked over Holly’s back for no cover but he comes back with a low blow and, I kid you not, a crate of bananas to the head. Now Holly stops for a potassium fix and a trashcan shot to Bart’s head. They slug it out and Bart hits him in the head with a sack of flour. Now here’s a guy in kabuki attire to throw Bart off the stage and through a table, giving Holly the easy pin.

Rating: B-. This was one of the rare hardcore matches where the whole thing is a mixture of brutal and fun at the same time, making for a good match. Bart wasn’t around long other than to get DESTROYED by Butterbean at Wrestlemania while Holly would do the same bit for years on end.

X-Pac vs. Chyna

If Pac wins he gets a title shot at Shane at Mania. HHH is with Pac to counter Shane but Chyna hits X-Pac low almost immediately. Trips chases Shane around ringside as Chyna misses a Bronco Buster. Now X-Pac chases Shane, allowing HHH to come in and hit Chyna with a Pedigree, giving Pac the easy pin. Angle, not a match.

Austin will be on Nash Bridges on Friday. His character on there was so popular they considered giving him his own spinoff.

Here’s Vince again with what looks to be a rolled up paper in his hand. He says that if anyone doesn’t like the smell of burning flesh, leave now. He’s holding the envelope that Undertaker gave him last week and shouts about how no one goes after Vince outside the WWF.

Kane vs. Undertaker

As mentioned, this is an inferno match, meaning the ring is surrounded by fire and you have to light your opponent up to win. Vince sits in on commentary and refuses to talk about what’s in the envelope. Kane jumps Taker to start and the flames go up. Taker hits Old School and the flames go up every time something hits the mat. Kane fights off an attempt to put him in the fire and kicks Taker in the face. A powerslam puts Taker down again and Kane chokes away a bit.

Kane fires off some uppercuts as Taker is next to the ropes. The camera shots are mainly from ground level so it’s really hard to see through the fire. Paul Bearer shows up at ringside with a box for Vince. Taker is sent hard into the corner as Vince won’t open his present. Vince finally opens the box (“We can put Undertaker’s ashes in here.”) and finds….a teddy bear.

McMahon gets up from the table and looks up at Undertaker while walking at Paul. He asks Paul what he’s doing with the bear as Taker is thrown over the flames and out to the floor. Kane misses a dive off the top and hits the announce table as Vince stares at the bear. Vince looks broken as Taker is sent into the steps. Kane tries a big boot but Taker grabs the foot and puts it in the fire for the win.

Rating: D. This was barely a wrestling match as the majority of it was spent on a bear that was delivered to a billionaire by a former mortician. Did I mention this is the height of Russo’s influence? At the same time though, it’s also near the height of the show’s ratings, which really shouldn’t surprise anyone. The match barely existed.

Post match Taker takes the bear and burns it, bringing Vince to his knees to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a hard one to grade. They’re starting the build up for Wrestlemania, but all the insane drama with the Undertaker and Vince lead to such a ridiculous conclusion that it’s hard to take this seriously. That being said, when this was first happening, I was glued to the TV set every Monday watching this and being very grateful that Nitro had a replay just after Raw ended. The show wasn’t terrible but it was all drama and little action, making it a typical 1999 Raw.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Mayhem 1999
Date: November 21, 1999
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 13,839
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

 

Since TNA is stupid and had two Final Resolutions in 2008, you get this until I can find a copy. This is WCW Canadian PPV debut so the main event is a tournament final of Benoit vs. Hart for the world title. The title was vacated this time because WCW decided to have the world champion’s (Sting) opponent (Hogan) at Halloween Havoc lay down for him and then have Goldberg squash Sting so the title was vacated and we got a tournament. That’s Russo for you. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is about the final four in the tournament: Hart, Benoit, Sting and Jarrett.

 

Oh and this show is named after a video game, not vice versa.

 

We have a double main event: the tournament final and Sid vs. Goldberg in an I Quit match.

 

The fans want Flair as Tony and Bobby run down the card. Why we need to hear this is beyond me but I guess it makes sense to the bosses.

 

WCW World Title Tournament Semi-Final: Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett

 

Jarrett takes him down to start and slaps him in the back of the head which ends badly for him. Benoit busts out a tornado DDT for two. Neckbreaker gets the same as Benoit is trying for as many pins as he can get. Superplex hits for two as well. This is all within the first 90 seconds. I’m not skipping a bunch of stuff. Out to the floor and Benoit chops away. A chop misses and Jarrett crotches Benoit against the post to finally slow him down.

 

Back inside and a powerslam gets two for Jeff. They hit a pinfall reversal sequence. This is faster and more crisp than anything I can remember in WCW in years. Jeff grabs a sleeper and Benoit is in trouble. He escapes but Jeff gets it again. This time Benoit hits a jawbreaker and both guys are down. The Canadian hits some Germans on the American and here comes Creative Control (Harris Brothers as the muscle of the Powers That Be).

 

Benoit is sent to the floor but Jeff doesn’t want the win by countout. That’s strangely galant of him. A top rope cross body is rolled through for two for Benoit and when he sits on a Jarrett sunset flip he gets the same result. Belly to back sets up the swan dive but Creative Control pulls Benoit out. The other member beats Benoit down to huge boos. There’s the Stroke but Dustin Rhodes comes out to break up the pin and beats up Creative Control. There’s the guitar but Benoit gets it and clocks Jarrett (totally against his character) to go to the finals.

 

Rating: B-. This was on the path to being a great match but then it’s Russo booking a big time match and therefore we must have three run-ins and a weapon shot. When have you ever seen a face Benoit use a weapon? The opening part of this was GREAT though and if they had kept that up for the entire match it would have been an easy A.

 

JJ and CC beat down Benoit post match to MONSTER heat.

 

Disco says he respects his Cruiserweight Title and the $25,000 he can win doesn’t mean as much as the belt. Jarrett and Creative Control pop up to beat him down too.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Evan Karagis vs. Disco Inferno

 

Title vs. money here. Wait both guys have put up money meaning Evan can win the title and money while Disco can only win the money. That’s not exactly fair. Evan also has Madusa with him. Disco has some issues getting to the ring due to the beating. Tony Marinara (Tony Mamaluke from ECW) is with him as his inspiration/lackey. Evan jumps him in the aisle and we start up in the aisle for a bit.

 

Marinara sits in on commentary. He’s very annoying so far and is talking about how Disco owes him money or something which would go on for about a year and never went anywhere. It did bring in the Mamalukes though. Disco fires away with some kicks in the corner that are so hard Evan is falling down before they hit. The champ hits a pair of suplexes and dances.

 

Evan gets two off a crucifix but is taken down by a clothesline. This is a pretty bland match so far. Marinara is getting more annoying with every word he says. A middle rope elbow gets two for Disco. Madusa picks up Evan on the floor and the power of looks is enough to inspire him to dropkick Disco as he jumps off the apron at him.

 

Powerslam gets two for Karagis. The announcers debate what the belt is worth with the value stretching from $150 to 50 grand. There’s a LOUD boring chant as Disco hits a DDT. Marinara gets up to hit on Madusa and the distraction causes Disco to grab a chair and put it upside Tony’s head. A springboard cross body gives Karagis the title which he would lose to Madusa.

 

Rating: D. This was a terribly dull match with neither guy being interesting at all. They just kind of did moves to each other for 8 minutes. I don’t think anyone knew who Marinara was and I don’t think anyone really cared. Disco was best served as a comedy act but instead they made him a champion because the other Cruiserweights actually had something to do. Bad match.

 

Bret is just getting here.

 

The Powers That Be (Russo with his face not being seen), yells at Jarrett and says he has to fix it tonight. Jeff says he’ll do it.

 

Norman Smiley says he’s ready to become Hardcore Champion and is scared by construction going on.

 

Hardcore Title: Brian Knobs vs. Norman Smiley

 

This is a tournament final to determine the first champion. Smiley comes out in a Maple Leafs jersey. The Hardcore Title is the exact same shape as the ECW World Title. Knobs takes over to start with some weapon shots. He’s in an old school Nasty Boys shirt while Norman is in full hockey gear minus the helmet. A middle rope trashcan shot misses so Norman cracks him in the head with it.

 

Norman gets the hockey stick and Tony tries to sound like he knows something about hockey. The Big Wiggle is broken up and there go the shin guards. Why are wrestlers so obsessed with taking opponents’ clothes off? Jimmy Hart jumps on Norman’s back and Norman gets to have his one instance of physical dominance. They head to the back with Knobs hitting him in the head and Norman stumbles back to the entrance.

 

There’s a camera waiting on them and Norman gets in a chair shot to the ribs. It’s your usual hardcore match from the late 90s meaning there’s a table set up with Norman going head first into it. Knobs goes into a bunch of boxes which are empty. He screams anyway because he’s Screamin Norman Smiley. They get to the food stuff and not yet prepared food is tossed around. They fight into an elevator and the door shuts. Jimmy opens it up but when he swings the trashcan it hits Knobs and Norman gets the pin and the title. Yes, Jimmy Hart just physically ended a match.

 

Rating: D+. It’s a hardcore match from the late 90s. The problem is that it’s Brian Knobs in there instead of someone that means something anymore. In WWF this would have been people like Al Snow or Road Dogg, as in people still relevant at the time. This wasn’t anything of note and is the same match you would see a dozen times over the next year on PPV.

 

Post match Jimmy is thrown into some hamburger buns.

 

We recap the Revolution vs. the Filthy Animals. It’s your usual stable gang warfare. There was a pole match involving getting Torrie out of a cage. There was a moment where Rey (Animals) was hung by the leg from the top of a cage and they destroyed his knee so he’s not in this.

 

The Revolution talks about what if’s and Saturn goes into a rant about dinosaurs.

 

The Animals say they’ll win and they’re not worried.

 

Disco talks to Tony Marinara and Tony says he’s going to get his boys.

 

Jarrett has what looks to be a 2×4 and is going to look for someone.

 

Filthy Animals vs. Revolution

 

This is an elimination match. It’s Eddie/Kidman/Asya (Chyna ripoff) vs. Torrie/Saturn/Malenko. Shane Douglas of the Revolution is on commentary. Eddie and Kidman clean house as they’re trying to keep Torrie (a spry 24 here and drop dead gorgeous) out of the ring. We start officially with Eddie vs. Dean which works almost every time. They head to the floor so Saturn takes them out with an Asai moonsautl. Kidman dives on them too and then Torrie sets for one. Asya gets her hands on Torrie and it turns into something like a catfight.

 

Kidman plants Asya with a Sky High as Torrie has a bad ankle. Eddie shoves Kidman into Malenko as he’s checking on Torrie but it lets Malenko roll Kidman up for the first elimination. Eddie is destroyed by Malenko and Saturn, taking a backbreaker/knee drop combo. Asya comes in and beats on Eddie a bit, hitting an eye popping Davey Boy Smith delayed vertical for two.

 

Back to Eddie vs. Dean with Dean in control via a suplex. Eddie gets out of it and hits a standing rana for a pin to eliminate Dean and get us down to Eddie/Torrie vs. Saturn/Asya with Torrie having an injured ankle still. Asya comes in and beats on Eddie with another suplex getting two. Saturn accidentally superkicks Asya and a frog splash makes it 2-1 with Saturn vs. Torrie/Eddie.

 

It’s so weird thinking of Eddie as a Filthy Animal when he left as one of the Radicalz with a lot of the Revolution in two months. Saturn hooks a sleeper hold on Eddie but a jawbreaker gets him out of it. Scratch that as he’s right back in it. Now Eddie puts a sleeper on Saturn. Why do people that just easily escaped a sleeper think it’s such a good move to use immediately afterwords?

 

Saturn tries a spinning springboard clothesline but Eddie steps to the side and dropkicks him down. Something like a tornado DDT gets two. Eddie jumps into a Death Valley Driver for two. Shane is losing it on commentary and is more entertaining than anything I’ve ever heard him say or do. Saturn misses a top rope elbow so Eddie tries the same move he got rid of Dean with but it only gets two. Eddie tries a top rope cross body but Saturn rolls through into the Rings of Saturn to give us Saturn vs. Torrie. Torrie kicks him low and Shane gets on the apron. Saturn hits Torrie low which gets him the pin for the win.

 

Rating: C-. Not bad but I really don’t get the idea of having the girls in there. This would have been a lot better if they just had a tag match with the four guys or maybe threw in another dude to fight Asya. There wasn’t anything great here and the ending was really pretty stupid. I can think of worse ways to kill ten minutes though.

 

Jeff and Creative Control are beating up Buff Bagwell now.

 

Curt Hennig vs. Buff Bagwell

 

This is a career vs. career match and the video package during Curt’s entrance doesn’t really do much of a good job of explaining why that’s the stipulation. There’s no Bagwell due to the beating so here are Jarrett and CC. Hennig tries to fight them off but he’s outnumbered. Here’s Bagwell who is fine and has a 2×4. He runs off the heels who have been in about 5 scenes tonight and the match begins.

 

Hennig controls early and we head to the floor with Bagwell going into the railing a few times. As they’re getting back in though Hennig is shoved off the apron and into the railing himself. And he still managed to do it perfectly. This is far closer to a brawl than a match which is Russo 101. Hennig is a lot more popular because he’s talented and old school while Bagwell is more or less a douche.

 

Off to a sleeper (popular move tonight) by Hennig which goes on for a long time. Buff fires off some punches and dances a lot but the fans do not care at all. Why would you think that in an old WWF town in a country that takes wrestling seriously that fans would want to see that dancing stuff? Not that it matters as Hennig controls 80% of the match but walks into a Blockbuster that is as out of nowhere as it sounds to make Hennig “retire”.

 

Rating: D. What a boring match this was. The fans were all over Bagwell who was the face in this I think and they gave Hennig a standing ovation after the loss. The match was awful, primarily because Bagwell wasn’t any good at making people care or being able to have an interesting match. He had a good finisher and a good body and that’s it. Hennig would unretire the next night and had his next televised match in 8 days.

 

Sting, the heel in his match against Bret, says he should be champion because he never lost the title. It’s Showtime.

 

WCW World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Bret Hart vs. Sting

 

Sting is in a t-shirt and tights and has big hair. Feeling out process to start and they stare each other down a lot. Bret slugs away and the fans pop HARD. They brawl to the floor because Bret Hart is incapable of having a wrestling match in a ring right? Sting wrestles like a heel, raking Bret’s eyes to break his momentum. This is a very interesting thing to see as Sting is wrestling as a heel in front of a crowd that believes him to be a heel. This has happened all of maybe twice ever.

 

Bret gets in a single shot to take over and the crowd explodes. Sting kicks him in the little maple leafs and actually hits the big elbow for two. They go to the floor again and Bret is sent into the announce table. The Stinger Splash onto the table misses and we head back inside. The referee goes down and here’s Lex with a ball bat to beat up Sting. Bret beats up Luger and puts him in the Sharpshooter which somehow gives Bret a DQ win. Bret doesn’t want it that way but he’s stuck with it.

 

Scratch that he’s not stuck with it as Bret demands we keep going so we keep going. Bret goes off on Sting with the original Five Moves of Doom including the Canadian hitting a Russian on the American. The elbow is blocked by a boot to the chin and Sting limps into the Scorpion which he has some torque on for once. Bret counters that into the Sharpshooter and Bret is in the Finals.

 

Rating: D+. This match right here sums up Vince Russo’s issues in a nutshell. Sting was past his prime at this point and Bret wasn’t great but he still could have a decent match in the ten minutes they had here. Did we need the run-in and the ball bat? No, we didn’t. The ending they did here could have worked fine and would have made a good ending kind of like his Summerslam 91 match. However, Vince Russo says no that’s not a good idea and we need to have people running in and weapon shots because I guess the fans can’t enjoy wrestling. That’s Russo in a nutshell: he had no faith in actual wrestling.

 

Sting calls Bret back in for a handshake post match.

 

Benoit says it’s an honor to wrestle Bret again here and he’ll test the Best There Is/Was/Ever Will Be moniker.

 

Luger is already in a neck brace and says it’ll be a permanent thing. He can’t wrestle tonight either so he’ll pay the fans something for an apology. The details aren’t really clear.

 

Vampiro vs. Berlyn

 

This is a collar match and Vampiro has Jerry Only of the band the Misfits with him. Berlyn is Alex Wright in something resembling a Neo-Nazi deal. It was rather weird to say the least. Dr. Death Steve Williams and Oklahoma, one of the creative writers making fun of JR. Immediately Berlyn hits the referee. Vampy kicks Berlyn and Wall hits Vampiro. A second referee comes down as Wall beats up Vampiro and Berlyn is on the floor.

 

Wall misses a big boot and gets crotched as Berlyn beats up Jerry Only. Oklahoma’s impression of JR is pretty good. I think the match has started now but I’m not sure. Oklahoma makes up a bunch of football stats for the three guys as Wall hits a HUGE chokeslam and is tied to Vampiro now. Berlyn yells at the Wall who takes the collar off.

 

I have no idea what the point of this is or if the bell ever rant in the first place. Oklahoma: “This Berlyn is tougher than Chinese algebra.” Wall walks out and Vampiro hits a release superplex. Only (not a wrestler) comes in for the double team and The Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) sets up a camel clutch with the chain for the pin.

 

Rating: N/A. The bell never rang so I don’t think this was an actual match. As for the match, I have no idea why it’s on the card as Vampy and Berlyn were ever chained together at any time. It wasn’t a good match or anything either as Wall was the one out there doing most of the work while a singer that most people probably didn’t know was beaten up. I don’t get the point of this at all.

 

Steve Williams comes in and beats down both guys post match. So THAT was the point of it.

 

Scott Hall (POP) talks about Rick Steiner not being here for the title vs. title match. Hall is the new TV Champion because Steiner can’t defend it. He was already the US Champion. Hall issues an open challenge for later.

 

Hennnig is leaving and is congratulated by some guys as he leaves.

 

Kimberly is here, an hour and thirty five minutes into the show.

 

Meng vs. Total Package

 

Luger is the Package for those of you uninitiated. He’s in the neck collar and hasn’t been wanting to wrestle at all lately so this is a continuation of that story. Luger gets his shirt ripped off quickly and there go the pants too. Again, WHAT IS WITH THE RIPPING OFF OF MEN’S CLOTHING??? Luger goes to the eyes and manages to suplex Meng despite having a bad neck. The suplex isn’t sold either so we’ll call it even.

 

They go outside for a bit and Luger hammers away as they come back in. Meng tries the Tongan Death Grip but he can’t get past the neck brace. Instead he steps on the throat while we talk about the main event. Powerslam gets two for Lex. He rams Meng’s head into the buckle. I guess when they say Total Package that doesn’t include intelligence as YOU DON’T HIT A SAMOAN IN THE HEAD. Meng starts his comeback as this is going in slow motion. Liz has some spray or something but it hits Luger instead. Meng takes the brace off and the Death Grip ends it.

 

Rating: D. In other words, Liz was Jimmy Hart, Luger was Brian Knobs and Meng was Norman Smiley. I’ll give Russo this: I’ve seen him go shorter than this between using the same style of an ending. This was another match where I have no idea what the point of this being on the PPV was but I’m sure it made sense at the time. I’m not being serious with that last line but I thought I’d try being nice for a change.

 

Bret says he’ll win and Luger walks behind him ranting about his loss. Bret doesn’t stop talking.

 

David Flair is “polishing his crowbar” for his time where he’ll try to hold Kimberly down against her will later or make her scream about how she can’t take it anymore.

 

US Title/TV Title: Scott Hall vs. ???

 

Booker T accepts the challenge. Hall is so over it’s incredible. Since it was more newsworthy when he was sober than the other way around though, that would never result in a world title run. He says Nash is coming and they’re going to have a party later. Hall rams his shoulders into Booker for that signature spot of his. Booker fires off a hook kick and is booed during the cover.

 

Side slam gets two. Hall gets knocked to the floor but comes back with a chokeslam for two. Much like any other match with it being thrown together on the fly like this, there’s not much to it because there’s no story or hatred to it. Fallaway slam puts Booker down and we go to the floor again. Off to a sleeper as the fans are looking at something to the right of the ring. Here are Jarrett and Creative Control AGAIN. They go after Booker, he fights them off, Booker gets caught in the Outsider’s Edge and Hall retains.

 

Rating: D+. Again, WHAT WAS THE POINT??? In this case I’m talking about the run-in. This is what, the third match they’ve been involved with? We get it: he’s trying to disrupt things. Can we please have a match that ends cleanly? Is it that much to ask? Oh wait Russo is running things SO OF COURSE IT IS. This gets really frustrating after awhile.

 

Midnight, the black Chyna ripoff, makes the save for the post match beatdown.

 

Lex can’t find Liz.

 

We recap Kimberly vs. David Flair. She wanted to sleep with David Flair but got Ric instead. David went insane because of it and wanted to beat her for some reason. I still don’t get the point of this.

 

Kimberly vs. David Flair

 

Let’s get this over with. She does look good at least. Kimberly stretches a lot to try to distract David. Within thirty seconds, Flair is kicked low (no effect) and the referee is shoved. David gets the crowbar and she gets on her knees in front of him. Crowd: “SUCK IT SUCK IT SUCK IT!” She reaches for his crotch and pulls his cup out so she can kick him in the balls. The fans are dead.

 

David picks up the crowbar but Kanyon comes out to beat him up. Now here’s DDP to hit the Diamond Cutter on David. His ribs are killing him though. DDP gets the crowbar but Arn Anderson comes out and takes the bar away from him. David hits Arn with the crowbar and leaves, I guess ending this.

 

Rating: N/A. Get me a wrestling match and I’ll rate it. Kimberly looked great.

 

Arn is taken out on a stretcher to fill in some time.

 

We recap Sid vs. Goldberg which is part of Sid’s Millennium Man deal where he was going to break Goldberg’s record for a win streak which turned into a comedy deal where chokeslamming people counted as wins and all that jazz. They kept having big brawls and the Streak might have been broken. It’s not mentioned but who cares about stuff like that I suppose.

 

Sid says he’ll never say I Quit. It’s an I Quit match if that wasn’t mentioned.

 

Sid Vicious vs. Goldberg

 

Sid jumps him during the entrance and the piped in chants begin. You can tell as no one is moving yet everyone is chanting. Sid is knocked to the floor and they slug it out again. Sid is WAY over and there’s a cobra clutch slam to Goldberg. Another cobra clutch slam sets up a chokeslam and make that a pair of them. Goldberg counters a choke into a cross armbreaker and is booed out of the building. Back to the arm and Goldberg isn’t sure what to do. Off to something resembling a cobra clutch and Sid is out cold in maybe 20 seconds to end it minus saying I Quit.

 

Rating: F. Well let’s see. In an I Quit match between two monsters, it was a standard Goldberg match with a sloppy looking hold to end it. What was the point of this? I know I’ve asked that a lot tonight but that’s what I leave most of these matches asking: what did that happen for? Nothing match and it does little for either guy.

 

Lex blames Liz for the loss and threatens her despite not being able to find her.

 

WCW World Title: Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit

 

Long feeling out process that leads to Bret hooking an armbar. The fans are for Bret but they’re not against Benoit if that makes sense. Benoit tries a comeback with various strikes but a sunset flip is rolled through into a Sharpshooter attempt. Benoit avoids that into a Crossface attempt but Bret grabs the rope. They’re still cool though and have a handshake.

 

Bret throws him to the floor and a fan jumps out of the crowd in a hockey jersey and face paint to beat up Benoit. It’s Malenko so Bret beats up him and mark run-in #1 since Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit in Canada with over 15 minutes isn’t enough to have a good match right? Benoit fights back with more basic stuff like a backdrop. Bret might have bad ribs so Benoit starts firing off the suplexes.

 

A tombstone looks to set up the swan dive which hits but here’s Scott Hall to take out the referee. Nash is here too with a chair but here’s Goldberg to fight them off. Hall and Hart fight up the aisle as Benoit is down. The Outsiders leave and we have a second referee. Goldberg jumps the Outsiders and beats them to the back as Benoit starts in on Bret’s knee. Since the world title match isn’t important enough we go split screen to see the Outsiders get pulled off Goldberg.

 

Ok NOW we can get into the title match, 12 minutes into it. Benoit hooks on the figure four and Bret’s knee has been worked over. Bret grabs the rope and goes to a comeback, hitting a backbreaker for two. A top rope superplex hits and both guys are down. Benoit’s back is getting messed up quickly here which means it’s Sharpshooter time soon. Benoit falls on top of Bret in a slam for two and goes to the outside to try to clear his head. He counters a suplex back in and hits the Rolling Germans. He goes for the Crossface but Bret rolls out. Bret grabs the legs into the Sharpshooter and Bret wins the title.

 

Rating: C+. Pretty good match but the run-ins crippled it just like the rest of the matches tonight. I mean seriously, you have two of the best ever out of Canada and this is what you decide to do to them? The match was kind of a mess on top of that as different parts were worked on until the ending where Bret picked the back which made sense. It’s a good match but it was running with an anchor.

 

Tony calls this “just another chapter in Bret’s career.” Nice way to sell this as a huge moment.

 

Overall Rating: D. I have no idea what they were going for here. The CONSTANT run-ins aren’t redeemed by a long and fairly good main event. How many times have you heard that about Impact in the past say two years? Two matches, as in the main event and the elimination tag are over ten minutes long. The idea is to have short matches on TV to set up the long ones on PPV. Russo never quite gets that, but there are a lot of things he doesn’t get. Nothing to see here for the most part.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

Smackdown (Pilot)
Date: April 29, 1999
Location: New Haven Coliseum, New Haven, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Cornette

So around this time which is about a month after Mania 15, the WWF was REALLY big. WCW was on the ropes and WWF just started pouring it on. This is another example of what they were going to try to do. Much like WCW with Thunder, they wanted to add a second weekly TV show.

Now that didn’t actually happen until August, but this is the test run. This is a pilot for a show called Smackdown that became a regular series in about four months. I have never seen this as I didn’t have UPN at the time, so this is new territory for me as well. Let’s get to it.

We recap Backlash where Shane cost Rock the title and the following night where Rock called Shane out. It resulted in a beatdown which turned Rock face. It also had Stephanie being abducted by the Ministry and Vince going to Austin for help. It was also the night of the Black Wedding which is perhaps my all time favorite moment with Austin riding in like the cavalry to save his archenemy’s daughter because “it was the right thing to do.” I could watch that all day.

Stephanie and Vince come out to no music even though No Chance has been in use for awhile now. She doesn’t have implants or curled hair here nor most of her curves. DANG she looks great. She’s just flat out beautiful no matter how you look at her. The fans say they hate Vince and he agrees.

He would turn mega heel very soon so it’s not like it matters. Vince and Stephanie thank Shamrock, Show and Austin who made the save. In two funny moments, we’re told by Stephanie that her clothes were ripped off and that Taker kept touching her. Both get big pops. That’s just funny. Shane and the Corporation appears and I think I know what’s coming.

Shane says he would have made the save, even though a clip on Raw showed Shane stopping Boss Man, HHH and the Posse from running out to help. Shane is just totally evil at the moment and is on a pure power trip. I loved this character from him. After Vince and Stephanie leave, Shane says he wants Austin and the Rock.

They’re teaming together tonight and need opponents. HHH volunteers but Shane says “are there any takers?” Of course the lights go out and Takers’ AWESOME satanic music hits. Of course he’s the partner, and we’ll revisit this later.

Blue Blazer gets on Jeff Jarrett’s nerves.

Val Venis vs. Jeff Jarrett

This is part of a rather complex/annoying storyline. Basically Val wants Debra but Sable’s bodyguard Nicole Bass wants Val so she’s helping him and expecting sex in return. Problem is she’s rather manly looking. There’s more to it than that but those are the basics. And here’s Blue Blazer who is apparently taking Jarrett’s place. Ok then.

Val Venis vs. Blue Blazer

Ok so Jeff was subbing for Blazer who is now subbing for Jeff. Russo was still on the payroll at this point if that clears anything up. Blazer is in the cape mind you. It’s amazing to think that he had less than a month to live at this point. Cornette wonders why if Owen is the Blue Blazer, why doesn’t Jarrett call himself the Tweed Sportscoat? Debra gets on the apron for a distraction and it lets Jarrett interfere for the pin.

Bass comes out to hit on Val and they both run. Then Godfather comes out to claim Debra who he “won” in a match on Heat. She has to be a Ho for an undetermined amount of time. This was a way too complex four way feud that never went anywhere for obvious reasons. Owen and Jeff beat him down and leave with Debra.

Rating: N/A. Way too short to be anything of note here. It wasn’t bad or anything, but it was yet another layer onto this incredibly difficult to comprehend story already.

Rock talks to no one in particular about nothing in particular.

Blue Blazer says the WWF needs him. This video was played just after his accident. This was a rather funny gimmick.

Big Show vs. Test

Show is freshly face here and also freshly in the company, having debuted about two and a half months ago. He was the first real sign that the war was in trouble for WCW as they were losing young guys like him. Test was recently thrown out of the Corporation so he would become a face either here or very soon.

He would also join what would become the Union which would start the Test/Stephanie love thing. Boss Man comes down almost immediately and Show hits a dropkick of all things. Chokeslam ends this in like a minute. Boss Man beats up Test afterwards but Show saves.

Rating: N/A. This was when the stories were more intricate and things were built far better than they are today. This would evolve into the Union rather soon.

And here’s The Rock. The fans are doing his lines for him which is always funny. Rock says that even though he and Austin are partners tonight, they’re not friends. Cue Rattlesnake to a bigger pop than Rock. Austin says Rock is a punk kid and just owns Rock here. Rock wasn’t ready for this spot yet and it was clear.

Here’s Shane again, and this is a very important moment if I remember correctly. Yep I remember correctly, as the lights go out and here’s Taker. After being told three times that Shane and Taker are indeed standing next to each other, we’re told that there is a CORPORATE MINISTRY!

I remember hearing about this on Raw a few weeks later and being SHOCKED. Vince would join soon to make them completely unbeatable but Austin would get the CEO spot and then the world title that he would lose lately shorter once again.

X-Pac and Kane say they get along, which to an extent was true.

Darren Drozdov vs. D’Lo Brown

This isn’t the match where Droz had his neck broken by Brown. That wouldn’t be until August. Albert is with Droz here and is brand new. Ivory is brand new here too and looks something close to decent. Blast it it’s great to hear Cornette just being awesome.

Obviously we only talk about the merger which is understandable here. Brown gets the Sky High out of nowhere but Albert stops the Lo Down. He interferes a bit later and that’s good enough for the DQ. Albert tries to pierce Brown somewhere but Mark Henry returns for the save.

Rating: D+. Not bad for what it was I guess but to say this was a contrast of styles is an understatement. Droz had been around for about a year at this point so it’s not like he was new or anything. If nothing else he had a good look I guess. Still though, pretty boring match although it set up the tag feud.

Sable has gone Hollywood. Even Howard Stern said she was hot.

The Outlaws argue over having friends.

Tag Titles: X–Pac/Kane vs. New Age Outlaws

The team that aren’t the Outlaws are the champions here. Kane doesn’t trust Pac yet they’re tag champions. My goodness: what WACKY tag champions! I believe this marked the 38475th time Russo wrote this up. Dang the Outlaws are over. Where in the world is this show? We’re never actually told that. Thanks to Disarray for showing me that website as it’s been rather useful.

Billy is being all serious here for some reason as he won’t do his usual shtick. Kane and Billy beat on each other a bit and we hear AGAIN about how Billy is the best pound for pound athlete in the company. Who thought that as they’re rather stupid. I’m sure he’s far better than Big Show who weighs 500lbs and is 7’2 yet can throw a standing dropkick that is rather good while being strong enough to lift things that are rather heavy.

Billy throws a dropkick and it’s legitimately not as good as Show’s was. The idea here is that Pac is a friend of the Outlaws so they don’t want to fight him that much, although Billy isn’t seeming to have many issues with it. Kane comes in to NO pop as the Road Dogg is way more popular. That’s rather odd but I think this is face vs. face. Yeah it is. Pac misses the Bronco Buster and I begin to smile.

Road Dogg hits a low blow in front of the referee for a lack of a disqualification and the Fameasser gets two. In a somewhat creative ending, Gunn gets Pac in a gorilla press but Kane knocks Road Dogg into Gunn and Pac falls on him for the pin. That protects both teams actually and it worked. A nice thing here was Cornette doing the wrestling commentary while Cole was all about the angles etc. That’s a balance they need to get back today.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but nothing really all that special. They did a decent job of furthering the Kane is confused stuff while setting up the future Outlaws split. For the life of me I don’t get why they didn’t have that as the final of the KOTR but went with Pac vs. Gunn instead but whatever. Match was fine.

Austin is getting ready.

Gunn is at Road Dogg and says the team is done.

Michaels Hayes introduces the Brood, which is still some of the coolest music I have ever heard. Also they had that ring of fire for an entrance. Cornette says they’re the three best talents in the sport. Well two out of three isn’t bad I guess. Gangrel’s voice SUCKS. They’re breaking their silence that Taker insisted they have apparently. I see why he didn’t get to talk that much.

He cuts a badly rambling promo which makes no sense as he talks about their search for something or other. Edge is just AWESOME looking here as his eyes are just insane looking. His voice is also much better and he doesn’t ramble. Hayes thinks it’s all a gimmick and they call him Michael. Was there a point to him being there at all? He gets a blood bath and I flat out do not care. I never liked Hayes so there we are.

Gunn is looking for X-Pac.

Kevin Kelly is with Shamrock who says he’s going to destroy Bradshaw in a street fight.

Bradshaw vs. Ken Shamrock

They start very fast and we hear the name UFC which is just weird to hear on Raw. Bradshaw is put in a knee bar like 30 seconds in but he gets out. Shamrock swings a ball bat at Bradshaw and pay no attention to it bending when it hits a table or Bradshaw getting up mere seconds after taking a shot to the head with it from a grown man that is rather strong.

Shamrock chokes him with the bat even though it’s parallel to his head and not over his throat but it works. Talk about a mess. Referees come out for the save and it doesn’t work as he beats everyone up including Sarge.

Rating: N/A. This was a total mess that went nowhere at all. Shamrock destroyed him and made him look weak, although not as weak as the bat. To be fair though, he was supposed to crush Bradshaw who was just a tag guy at this point. This wasn’t much at all and went by way too fast to tell what was going on. Again, it’s the Russo era shining through.

Foley is in the Boiler Room and says he wants to call off the match but can’t do it. He explains his character and it makes things even more confusing. Dang I love Foley.

Gunn is still looking for Pac.

Shane gives the Corporate Ministry a quick pep talk.

Big Boss Man vs. Mankind

Vince and Stephanie have allegedly left. Foley gets a great pop as Cornette says how great he is. Truer words have never been spoken. He’s my favorite wrestler of all time so expect a lot of bias for this. Cornette: “He’s going for Mr. Socko and folks if you don’t know the story behind Mr. Socko, we don’t have time to tell you.”

Yeah Jim could be a bit weird at times. Boss Man tries to run but Test throws him back in. The Union continues to have the seeds planted. Here’s Big Show to throw Boss Man back in as well. When I say that I mean he picks him up and throws him over the top rope. Mandible Claw ends it immediately after that.

Rating: N/A. This was all angle here and that’s all it needed to be. The Union was on the way which was a needed thing to help fight against the massive Corporate Ministry. It only lasted a month though which was odd.

Billy jumps X-Pac and Kane makes the save. Seriously, why did anyone care about Gunn?

Rock and Austin head to the ring separately.

The Rock/Steve Austin vs. The Undertaker/HHH

The Mean Street Posse and Chyna are here with HHH as Cole tries to tell us this is going to be the best tag match of all time. That’s just amusing. If this has a clean finish I’ll be stunned. Taker has Paul Bearer and Shane with him. Rock looks strange here. His look changed a lot over the course of like a year or two. Taker’s hair looks freaky here. Rock is surrounded since Austin of course comes out late.

It’s Rock vs. Taker in the ring and Austin vs. HHH on the ramp. HHH is in long tights here which is still weird to see. They switch off and I’m not expecting many tags here. Taker and Austin start officially and it’s all Austin. HHH comes in for a save and just stays in. Ok then. Rock and Austin make their first tag after Austin has been in there for three minutes and Cornette says they’re working very well together. That’s just amusing.

Rock and Taker hit a double clothesline and we’re back to even. It amazes me sometimes how a single clothesline or whatever can be equivalent to so many big moves that a guy has taken. And there’s the brawl and here are the others for the run in and double DQ. Test, Show and Shamrock run out. No Foley for some reason. It’s a near riot with Austin and Taker being the only two left.

Austin takes a chokeslam and OF COURSE Vince is here. He takes a chair shot to save Austin which fits in pretty well actually. Cornette of course is losing his mind as usual. Austin pops up and hits a Stunner on Taker as Shane beats up Vince. Shane gets a Stunner too and beer is consumed to end the show. Austin pours beer on Vince to wake him up.

Rating: C-. Like I said, were you expecting anything else? This was fine as far as going through with the angle but not much else. For a five minute match though, this was fine. It’s your traditional Attitude Era main event tag match so it’s par for the course. Not terrible, but it works fine for what it was.

Overall Rating: C+. Keeping in mind that this was a one off special and not a regular show, this came off pretty well. It’s more or less a commercial for the main event but that’s what it was supposed to be. This came off fine though and it set the stage for four months later when this became a regular deal.

Decent enough show though and it’s mostly harmless. One big angle is enough to give it a pass though. Not really recommended, but if you watch it you won’t be wasting your time if that makes sense.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

Cyberslam 1999
Date: April 3, 1999
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,200
Commentator: Joey Styles

 

It’s another internet convention show which is really just a glorified house show. The main event is a six man steel cage match called Ultimate Jeopardy which is more or less ECW’s version of WarGames. It’s hard to describe until we get there but it’s a different idea to be sure. Other than that there isn’t much because this isn’t a particularly huge show. Let’s get to it.

 

The intro (a much faster version of it) hits within the first minute. That’s a bit of an improvement over it hitting after an hour last year.

 

Jerry Lynn vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

 

Tajiri is a face here and just some new young guy. Not quite the Japanese Buzzsaw yet. Lynn is rapidly shooting up the ranks and is either about to feud with RVD or already has started. They hit the mat very quickly but neither can get any advantage so it’s a standoff. Jerry grabs a leg lock and Tajiri can’t roll through it. He escapes though and shifts to a hold of his own, in this case a bow and arrow.

 

It’s another standoff as the fans cheer. Lynn grabs an inverted Gory Special but the Japanese guy escapes the Mexican hold by the American and they speed things up again. Lynn sends him to the floor and nails a decent dive off the top. Back inside and Tajiri puts on an Octopus Hold and then the Tarantula. Nice back and forth stuff so far here.

 

There’s the handspring elbow and they go outside again. Lynn gets suplexed over the railing and Tajiri busts out a picture perfect Asai Moonsault to take Lynn out again. Back in and the future Buzzsaw gets caught in an inverted DDT for two. Tajiri fires off a kick and Lynn is all like BRING IT ON and so Tajiri kicks him in the chest and Lynn is all like ME FALL DOWN NOW.

 

Lynn gets a dropkick into the corner and fires off some overhand chops to take over. Tajiri escapes something out of the corner and fires off chops of his own. Lynn goes into the Tree of Woe for the baseball slide for two. They go to the corner where Lynn comes out with a running powerbomb for two. Tajiri dropkicks the knee and La Majistral gets two. And never mind as Lynn hits the Cradle Piledriver for the quick pin. Ending came totally out of nowhere.

 

Rating: B. This was a nice back and forth match to make the whole thing look good. Apparently Lynn was debuting the piledriver here. Very fun match although the lack of selling got old fast. Still though, the ECW fans will let you know when there’s a good match going on and this was one of those occasions. For once they were right.

 

Here are Lance Storm and the too hot to be human Dawn Marie. Storm is in WCW Monday Night Jericho shirt. This was during the time where Jericho was being totally wasted in WCW and used in pointless comedy matches and never moving up the card at all. Storm says this is about Tommy Dreamer, not Jericho. Dreamer has been claiming that Storm is on the gas (steroids).

 

The fans chant HAPPY BIRTHDAY, totally missing the point of the segment. Storm says that he gets his integrity from training in the Dungeon in Calgary, not from a vial. Storm says he’s the best build professional athlete this side of a negative drug test. Dawn pulls out a bottle of Storm’s urine. Ok then. He wants Dreamer to provide a sample of his own. If you don’t know where this segment ends, you have no right to be reading this.

 

Dreamer comes out and Joey is mad at him for it. Cyrus comes out and distracts Dreamer and Storm jumps him. Dreamer fights back and manages to get a DDT to take Storm out. And of course the urine winds up on Storm’s unconscious face. Well this was totally pointless.

 

Rod Price vs. Nova

 

Nova is more famous as Simon Dean. Price is a big muscle guy that looks about 55 years old. Price gets taken down quickly but takes over with basic power. Snap suplex puts Nova down and Price hammers away for awhile. Nova goes to the middle rope and hits a clothesline but can’t get much going overall.

 

Skull Von Crush (Big Vito), who is Price’s partner, comes out to hammer on Nova a bit as well. Nova’s partner Chris Chetti comes out for the save and it’s a double brawl. Nova hits a baseball slide to Price and then the good guys fire off a pair of dives. The Tidal Wave (splash/top rope legdrop off the same corner) pins Price. Big mess but I like the Tidal Wave so this was fine.

 

Price and Crush fight post match with Price beating him down. Scratch that as Crush gets a DDT to leave Price laying.

 

El Mosco vs. Super Crazy

 

A handful (and I mean like 4 people) might know Mosco as X-Fly from Los Perros Del Mal and AAA in Mexico. Both guys are really young here and Mosco is in a mask. Mosco sends Crazy to the floor and teases a dive but stays in the ring instead. They go into one of those cool looking yet very choreographed lucha libre sequences that takes like 40 seconds to go through and results in exchanged armdrags and a standoff.

 

Mosco misses a dropkick in the corner so of course the fans have to tell him he messed up. Crazy goes to the floor and Mosco dives on him in a not that great looking move. Crazy makes up for it by busting out the Crazy Special , which is a big springboard moonsault to Mosco who is in the first row. Back in a middle rope moonsault gets two. Another gets the same count.

 

Crazy fires off ten punches in the corner. Mosco is now Crazy’s archnemesis despite this being his ECW/American debut. Slingshot hilo by Mosco to the floor and both guys are down. Rana off the top gets two. Makes sense as it was a bit sloppy. Crazy goes to the floor again and launches Mosco into the crowd again. There’s another moonsault to put Mosco down in the crowd one more time.

 

Back in the ring and Mosco throws on some kind of arm trap neck hold which is hard to describe. And we’ve lost Joey. Both guys get victory rolls for two and they speed things up for a few seconds, only for Mosco to get a clothesline to take Crazy down. Mosco hits some kind of spinning 450 for two. Mosco slams crazy off the top but misses a moonsault. Powerbomb gets two for Crazy. He wastes time though and gets caught in a sunset flip off the top. Crazy takes him down again and a frog splash ends this.

 

Rating: B-. Pretty much just random lucha libre here but it was entertaining enough. I don’t know much of X-Fly but he’s getting a huge push in Mexico at the moment so there must be something to him. Crazy would get a bigger role about a year later, becoming TV Champion which he would lose to Rhyno.

 

Taka Michinoku vs. Papa Chulo

 

Chulo is more famous as Essa Rios. The fans chant welcome back to Taka. This goes very fast right from the beginning with Taka sending Chulo to the floor and hitting a big dive to take him down. Back in and a seated dropkick hits Chulo. Modified half crab goes on and it’s time for chops. Chulo does one of those Sin Cara style moves that looks great but the spins and flips really add nothing to the wrist drag.

 

Chulo goes up and misses a 450. He manages to crotch Taka though and a rana gets two. Taka grabs a tornado DDT for two with the kneeling cover. Chulo backdrops him to the floor but his dive gets broken up. Taka jumps into a dropkick but the Mexican can’t hit the Japanese with a German. A second tornado DDT is blocked and Papi hits a missile dropkick to send Taka to the floor for a big somersault dive to the floor.

 

The fans have switched sides over to Papi now. If he has Lita with him I’d be behind him too. Suplex back in doesn’t work but Taka can’t suplex him back out either. Taka is crotched again but manages a springboard missile dropkick to the back of the head. Michinoku Driver doesn’t work and neither does a moonsault. Chulo tries a powerbomb which is reversed into a powerbomb by Taka. He sets for a reverse suplex but drops him down into the Driver for the pin.

 

Rating: C. Not much here and after the previous match this was a little repetitive. Chulo would get a lot more famous with that fire redhead he picked up in the WWF. Pretty much a nothing match though as it only was there for a few minutes. Taka would be back in the WWF soon enough.

 

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

 

Should be good. RVD is also a tag champion here. A big anti-Vince chant starts up and we’re ready to go. They shake hands and we have no Joey again. Standoff to start and Van Dam does his pointing thing. They start with some technical stuff and RVD has a slight advantage early on. Just feeling each other out here. Quick spinning leg drop by Rob is the first real offensive move of the match but it doesn’t do anything.

 

The fans chant that Scorpio has lost weight. Is there anything they won’t cheer for? Hey there’s Joey again. Rob takes him down again and stops to pose. Scorpio gets a butterfly suplex to take over. RVD gets all mad for some reason and pounds away on Scorpio, beating him down in the corner. Both try spin kicks but only Rob’s hits. Scorpio takes over again and signals for the 450.

 

It’s way too early for that though so he picks Van Dam up and DDTs him instead. Double springboard moonsault gets two. NICE superkick sends Van Dam down. Modified Jackhammer gets two. Scorpio chops away and Van Dam tries a spin kick. It totally misses and thankfully Scorpio doesn’t move. Out to the floor and Rob hits a huge dive into the crowd. The man can jump with the best of them.

 

Back in a slingshot legdrop gets two for the champ. There’s Rolling Thunder for two. Does Fonzie ever shut up? Rob tries one of his flips into the corner but he gets caught in a German. Somersault legdrop gets two for Scorpio. Something similar to Shock Treatment sets up a top rope splash for two. Back to the floor we go and it’s table time. What appeared to be a bicycle kick puts Van Dam down and Scorpio puts him on the table.

 

It’s bridged between the ring and the railing as I’m sure you’ve seen before. Van Dam avoids the dive but Scorpio puts the brakes on. Clothesline puts RVD down and 2 Cold grabs a chair. Back inside now and the fans aren’t thrilled with Rob protecting himself from the chair shot. Scorpio puts the chair on RVD’s face and drops a top rope leg on it from the top.

 

Here’s Sabu, the partner of Van Dam. He jumps Scorpio and puts him on the table. They hate each other so a double jump Air Sabu puts Scorpio through the table. Fonzie is all ticked off at his client (Sabu) for risking injury like that. Oh please there wasn’t even any fire involved. This is mild for Sabu. Back in the ring they speed it up a bit and Scorpio gets a powerbomb for tow. Fonzie shoves Scorpio off the top and there’s the Van Daminator. Five Star ends this.

 

Rating: B. I liked this one quite a bit. Scorpio is one of the better guys in the ring and this was no exception to that. Van Dam was rather good at this point and it showed here. He and Lynn were in the middle of their feud at this point but I liked this better than most of their matches. Solid match where they kept the violence down and it didn’t get distracting, which is a huge perk.

 

They shake hands post match.

 

ECW World Title: Chris Candido vs. Taz

 

These two fought countless times in title matches so at least they know each other really well. Candido has Sunny in a bikini and a see-thru robe on. I can work with this. Also he has some unrecognizable guy you may have heard of named Steve Corino. He’s so young here it’s unreal. Candido says he’s never tapped out to anything and he’s not doing it here to Taz. Candido offers to make it falls count anywhere and Taz accepts.

 

Candido chops away and gets punched for his troubles. Out to the floor they go and Taz is in the crowd. Big dive into what might have been a clothesline takes Taz down and they go back to ringside. Uh scratch that as they’re in the crowd again. They brawl around for a bit with Taz mainly in control. Dang it as soon as I write that Candido takes over again. That gets really annoying.

 

They’re in the crowd for the third time in about five minutes. They fight past the fans into what looks like a merchandise stand. Thankfully the camera switches so you can see. Tazplex gets two. It’s very helpful that this is falls count anywhere because it keeps these parts from being pointless padding. Candido drops an elbow for two. They head back to the ring to a welcome back chant.

 

Delayed vertical suplex gets no cover for Chris. Diving headbutt gets a delayed cover for two. The fans want to see Sunny’s chest and I can’t blame them. She and Francine need to just flash the crowd and get it over with. Wheelbarrow suplex by Taz puts Candido down but Candido gets something resembling a slingshot belly to back suplex for two. Taz gets a big sitout powerbomb but can’t cover.

 

There’s a release Tazplex and the champion is in control again. And of course as soon as I say that a thumb to the eye sets up a Candido powerbomb for no cover again. Candido sets for the Blonde Bombshell (top rope powerbomb) but Taz counters into a head and arms super Tazplex. Candido pops up and grabs a chain which he blasts Taz with for two.

 

It’s Table Time and Taz is mostly back up. They slug it out somewhat which Candido wins with a thumb to the eye. Taz grabs a Tazmission but suplexes Candido through the table with it instead of going for the submission. The bell rings for no apparent reason and apparently Candido has hurt his neck.

 

Rating: C+. Pretty decent main event style brawl here as these two had some chemistry at times. The selling became an issue again here as a big move would hit and then they would be up five seconds later. Nothing great but for what it was this was totally fine. Taz would lose the title a few months later.

 

The crowd yells at Taz post match so Taz goes out and puts the Tazmission on Candido. Since the fans in ECW are freaking crazy, they cheer for the assault on a guy that might have a broken neck.

 

Shane Douglas vs. Justin Credible

 

Shane curses a lot at Justin before we get going. This is one of Shane’s very last matches in ECW as he would head to WCW for good in just a few weeks. They chop it out but Shane gets some rolling vertical suplexes. This was before Three Amigos and possibly before Rolling Germans (although I don’t think so on that one). Goardbuster and a rolling neck snap to Justin.

 

Justin fires off some chops in the corner but Shane fires back. Out to the floor we go which has been a running theme tonight. It’s table time again as Shane sets one up in the ring. Jason and some chick that has no name yet (Jazz) help Justin back in because the best thing to do to your buddy is to throw him into the ring where a guy that wants to kill him has a weapon.

 

Shane goes up but Jazz helps Justin put him through the table. They chop it out in the corner again but Justin gets a superkick to put him down. Middle rope elbow gets two and we hit the chinlock. Shane fights up and gets a sunset flip, only to get taken down by a clothesline. Out to the floor again and Shane goes into the post, busting him way open.

 

The fans are totally behind Shane here but a low blow stops his comeback cold. Back to a chinlock which Justin puts no crank on at all. Here’s another table, this time in the corner. Wrestling law #1 comes into play as Justin goes into it since he set it up. That only gets two so Shane puts the Figure Four on because he hates Ric Flair so much. Jazz comes in and it’s catfight time with Francine.

 

Both guys grabs canes and they have a duel. Shane gets some kind of kick to put Justin down. Here’s Jason who has a broken neck. Francine spears him down and Shane puts a full nelson on him. It leaves him open to a superkick from Justin though which gets two. Thesz Press puts Justin down and they speed things up a lot. Justin grabs a Stunner of all things to put Shane down. Justin goes up but jumps into an atomic drop and the Pittsburgh Plunge (Fisherman’s DDT with a cradle) ends this.

 

Rating: C-. Neither guy has ever really done much of anything for me. It’s not a horrible match but it dragged on a good bit at various times. Shane would be gone in about two weeks after beating Justin a few more times so this was kind of meaningless in a sense. Either way, not bad, but Justin and Shane are rather dull in the ring most of the time and are better suited on the mic.

 

Post match Storm comes out for the double beatdown and Shane takes a caining. Dreamer comes in for the save but gets in a single trashcan shot before going down also. The fans want Sid but he never shows up and the Impact Players stand tall.

 

Time for the main event so the Dudleys do their big long intro outside the cage. Bubba says there’s good news and bad news. The good news is that they’re here. The bad news is that New Jack isn’t going to be here because he changed his mind like 40 minutes ago. Time for some Gertner but Bubba cuts him off because he wants to fight.

 

Dudley Boys/Mustapha Saed vs. Balls Mahoney/Axl Rotten/New Jack

 

There’s no New Jack at this point so it’s a handicap match to start. We stall a lot before the match starts as the fans want the Great Saske to replace New Jack. It would certainly be an upgrade. Actually this is a concept called Ultimate Jeopardy (not that ECW bothered to tell us this or anything) so it’s ECW’s WarGames, meaning Balls vs. D-Von starts us off.

 

Joey really likes using that cabbage in a coleslaw line. D-Von goes into the cage a few times and a superkick puts him down. All Mahoney so far as he goes up top and hits a splash. The countdown begins and here’s Bubba. You can win by pin or submission but not until everyone is in the ring. Balls hammers away and hits a low blow to keep Bubba in the corner but a bleeding D-Von gets some shots in.

 

Balls manages to fight them both off for awhile at least. Bubba manages to grabs a Rock Bottom (called a Urana-che by Joey) and the beating begins. The not yet a Bully messes up and hits D-Von with something metal as Axl comes in to tie this up. D-Von is covered in blood. Lots of metal in play now and Axl carves up D-Von’s head with a pair of scissors. Well isn’t that gruesome?

 

Mustapha comes in now and it’s 3-2. He’s New Jack’s old partner so that would be your explanation for why he’s in here. The heels are dominating here as we’re waiting on New Jack or someone to make the save. D-Von’s blood is everywhere. Bubba manages to hit his backsplash onto Balls. Mustapha uses barbed wire on Axl. There’s the final count down (duh nuh nuh duh duh) and New Jack is here all along. Apparently it was a mind game to mess with the Dudleys. That makes sense so I’ll let it go.

 

New Jack’s music of course plays through the rest of the match. It’s big comeback time as the Dudleys take a huge beating as does Saed. Bubba and Axl have been bleeding for awhile. Joey says everyone is busted so that covers the rest of them. Scratch that as New jack isn’t bleeding which makes more sense. Rotten busts out thumbtacks but D-Von avoids the suplex and puts Axl into them.

 

Everything slows down as it is known to do in matches such as this one. New Jack takes a guitar shot to the head but Balls goes one up on that as he blows a fireball into the face of Joey. Not that it matters though as he turns around and walks into a Dudley Death Drop (more commonly known as 3D) for the pin. The music cutting off really quickly made me chuckle for some reason.

 

Rating: C+. This was supposed to be about violence and keeping them trapped in a small place so I can’t complain much here. These matches are supposed to be extreme and that’s what this came out to be. No stips or anything here as this was just a big fight and to my own surprise, I kind of liked it.

 

Post match the Dudleys bail and the losers beat the tar out of Mustapha, including a huge dive off the top of the cage by New Jack through a table.

 

Overall Rating: B-. Believe it or not I kind of liked this show. They kept the violence and insanity down a lot and we got some decent matches out of them. Taz was still relatively fresh as the world champion and hadn’t destroyed the entire roster yet so there were still challengers to him. Not a great show or anything but the two hour format worked a lot better for them here and it’s one of the better ECW shows I can remember.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:

 

Wrestlemania XV
Date: March 28, 1999
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 20,276
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is a somewhat forgotten show and it’s pretty easy to see why: there isn’t much on here worth seeing. We’re full into Russo era now which means things are going to go REALLY fast but they’ll be changing so rapidly that there’s almost no lasting impact. The main event here is Austin facing Rock to get back the WWF Title that was unfairly stolen from him in the fall. That’s also pretty much the only match anyone remembers from the show. Let’s get to it.

Boyz II Men sing America the Beautiful. To say this is better than last year’s metal version of it is the understatement of the year.

The opening video is about stars of today becoming legends and how tonight is their night. The show is called the Showcase of the Immortals, which it is still called to this day.

Hardcore Title: Billy Gunn vs. Al Snow vs. Hardcore Holly

So for months leading up to this show, Billy Gunn had been chasing the IC Title and Road Dogg had been chasing the Hardcore Title. Before either of them got the big win, Russo thought it was a good idea to switch those things up and give them the opposite title than they were looking for. You know, because THAT MAKES SENSE. Gunn is defending if that wasn’t clear.

Billy tries to do his intro but Snow jumps him from behind. Holly jumps both of them and clotheslines Gunn inside out. Snow and Holly, the only people who actually have business in this match, go to the floor to annoy the Spanish broadcasters. Gunn follows them and is whipped knees first into the steps. That looked painful. Snow and Bob fight up the aisle with Holly hitting a suplex onto the concrete. Billy comes back and sends Snow into the steps but Al breaks up a piledriver attempt on Bob.

Snow finds a hockey stick from under the ring for no apparent reason and starts beating up both guys. The fans cheer for the Flyers as Billy uses a Gatorade bucket for good measure. Billy gets the stick and breaks it over his challengers’ backs before going back inside. Snow comes in with a broom to pound away on both guys and take over. Gunn brings in a chair but gets beaten down by a piece of the broom. Al uses the chair to load up some Poetry in Motion in the corner but he can only hit Gunn.

Holly sends Billy to the floor but gets dropped onto the barricade for his efforts. Snow hits them both with Head but pulls out a table instead of going for a cover. The table is set up in the corner but Holly clotheslines his way to safety. Billy comes back with a shot to Bob’s head and throws Snow through the table. The Fameasser onto a chair knocks Snow sane but Holly hits Gunn in the back with a chair and steals the pin on Snow for the title.

Rating: C-. This was fine but again, what sounds better: Road Dogg against two other hardcore experts or Billy Gunn who has had about two weeks in the division? The match here was nothing of note though as it was just the three of them hitting each other with the same spots we’ve seen a hundred times before. Nothing to see here for the mots part but it was a good enough opener.

Test and D’Lo Brown were the final two people in a battle royal on the Heat before the PPV, meaning they get a tag title shot. Seriously, that’s how weak the division is at this point.

Tag Titles: D’Lo Brown/Test vs. Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett

The challengers fight with each other before the match starts. Owen and Jeff have Debra with them who is in a jacket and bikini. From the neck down she’s not bad at all. It’s a brawl to start and Test hits a fast big boot to take over. Brown and Jarrett get things going officially and D’Lo hits some fast clotheslines. Jeff charges into an elbow and it’s off to Test. He’s part of the Corporate Team while Brown has no connection to them whatsoever. A powerbomb gets two on Owen but he comes back with an enziguri, only to have Brown break up the Sharpshooter attempt.

Brown comes in legally and hits the shaky head legdrop for no cover but Jeff knees Brown in the back to give Owen an opening. A spinwheel kick puts D’Lo down for no cover as it’s back to Jarrett. Brown comes back with a double clothesline to both champions and hits something resembling a Sky High on Jeff. There’s no cover though as the managers (Ivory for the challengers) are fighting. In the distraction, Owen hits a missile dropkick on Brown to give Jeff the retaining pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok enough but when the challengers are formed into a team 30 minutes before the match, it’s a little difficult to get behind a match like this. The tag division was BEGGING for something to save them here but it wouldn’t be until the fall when the Dudleys finally showed up and made the division worth something for a few more years.

Test and D’Lo fight on the floor which has no one caring at all.

We recap Butterbean vs. Bart Gun in a Brawl For All fight. Oh where do I even begin? So Bart Gunn shocked all of eight people (as in the amount of people that cared) by winning the shoot fight Brawl For All tournament back in the summer. This led to a REAL fight against a REAL world boxing champion here. You know, EIGHT MONTHS after he won the tournament.

Bart Gunn vs. Butterbean

The guest referee is Vinnie Pazienza, former world Middleweight Champion. The judges are boxing trainer Kevin Rooney, Chuck Wepner and Gorilla Monsoon, who would be dead soon after this. He looks AWFUL here as he’s lost about 200lbs due to illness. This would be his final public appearance. Bart is introduced as being from western Kentucky. That’s probably accurate as there aren’t many large towns over there so pinning it down to one single town is hardly an option.

I’d explain the rules and scoring here, but Butterbean DESTROYS Bart and knocks him down twice in 35 seconds. The second is as brutal of a punch as you’ll ever see. For the life of me I have NO IDEA what they were thinking here. I could watch Bart Gunn get knocked out like that for hours.

The San Diego Chicken is here in Philadelphia here for no apparent reason so Pazienza beats him up.

We recap Big Show beating up Mankind on Heat. They’re fighting tonight to get to referee the main event. Austin could be seen watching this in the back for some reason.

Mankind says that he’s done everything asked of him to be in the main event of Wrestlemania, but they keep throwing more stuff at him. If he has to beat Big Show, that’s what he has to do.

Big Show vs. Mankind

The winner gets to referee the title match tonight. Big Show already cost Mankind the world title on Raw a few weeks ago and Mankind is banged up coming into this. Mankind pounds away to start but is easily sent out to the floor by the power of the giant. Mankind is all cool with a brawl though and he sends Big Show head first into the steps. A DDT is broken up by Show though and the guy in a mask tastes the steps as well.

Back in and Show chops him down before hitting a Russian legsweep for no cover. Mankind gets in a shot and loads up the Claw, only to be sent flying for a second. The Claw goes on but Show headbutts him down with ease. Back to the Claw and a low blow is enough to keep the hold on for a bit.

Despite being in a former world champion’s hold for about a minute straight, Show gets Mankind on his back and crashes down onto Foley to break the hold. Foley’s ribs are messed up bad now and Show stomps away even more. They head to the floor and Show hits him in the ribs with a chair….and that’s not a DQ. Show throws two chairs into the ring and sets them up. He chokeslams Mankind through both chairs and THAT is enough for the DQ.

Rating: D. Yeah this sucked. This would fall into the category of matches that were overbooked to overbook another match. If that doesn’t sum up the Russo Era in a nutshell, I’m not sure what does. The match sucked on top of all that, as it was a very slow power brawl. Foley would take awhile to get back into form but at this point he was just kind of going through the motions.

Post match Vince comes out to yell at Big Show but has to talk his way out of a chokeslam. That’s the least of his problems though as Big Show knocks Vince out cold with a right hand. The Stooges carry Vince to the back as Foley is taken out on a stretcher.

In the back, Vince wants the cops called.

Intercontinental Title: Road Dogg vs. Goldust vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Val Venis

Dogg is defending and this under elimination rules. Goldust has Ken’s sister Ryan as well as Blue Meanie with him. A rana sends Goldust to the floor in the opening melee until we get down to Shamrock vs. Dogg as there are tags in this. Dogg gets in some right hands and a dropkick to Shamrock before bringing in Goldie to pound away on Ken. Venis replaces Shamrock and escapes the Curtain Call.

A spinebuster gets two on Goldust but he comes back with a clothesline to take Val down for two. Goldust loads up a superplex but slips off the rope, allowing Val to bulldog him down for two. A fisherman’s suplex gets two for Val but after they collide in the corner, Val’s face meets Goldie’s crotch. Shamrock comes in to DDT Goldust but Dogg DDTs Venis at the same time, putting both guys out.

Goldust covers Venis for two and Shamrock is furious at the kickout. Did I mention Val slept with Ken’s sister of whom Ken is VERY protective? Dogg comes in illegally and pounds away on Val before doing the same on Dogg. The shaky kneedrop hits Shamrock for good measure but Val suplexes the champion down for two. Roadie comes back with the simulated anal rape pumphandle slam to Val before Shamrock puts Venis in the ankle lock.

Val somehow makes the rope and backdrops Shamrock to the floor. Venis goes out after him and it’s a lame double countout to get us down to two. Shamrock comes back in anyway and beats up everyone left in the match while screaming and dropping a lot of F Bombs. Ryan trips Goldust for no apparent reason whatsoever, allowing Roadie to roll him up for the pin to retain.

Rating: C. Decent match until the ending fell flat. Here’s Russo’s booking in a nutshell: take Billy Gunn, as in the guy that started the whole mess with Ryan out and replace him with Road Dogg who only has the title in this whole mess. That leaves you with Ken as the jealous brother along with Val as guy who loved her and left her, and Goldust as the freak perverting Ryan’s mind.

Then you give us Goldust and Dogg to finish things, despite them having no history of problems at all, unlike Billy and any of the three, who had been fighting for months. See the REALLY big issue here? Goldust would win the title the next night, making this even stupider. You know, because you want to change the title on Raw, not AT WRESTLEMANIA or someplace worthless like that.

Big Show is arrested, another Russo trope.

We recap HHH vs. Kane. Chyna had turned on DX and joined the Corporation I believe late last year. A few weeks before this she was holding HHH for a fireball shot from Kane, only to take it herself. HHH standing up for the honor of his friend who isn’t his friend anymore because she turned on him. As an act of friendship, HHH painted himself gold and wore a flowery robe while imitating a crossdresser and launched a flamethrower at Kane, burning him again.

HHH vs. Kane

Kane is in the Corporation against his will at this point. As Kane makes his entrance, here’s the San Diego Chicken from earlier to jump Kane. He’s quickly unbeaked and it’s Pete Rose again to continue the running joke from last year. At least he used to play in Philly so there’s a connection to the town. After that ends, HHH sneaks through the crowd and hits Kane low to start, which actually hurts him now as opposed to previous attempts at it.

HHH pounds away to start but Kane keeps shoving him away. Kane charges into a backdrop to the floor though and they fight on the floor for a bit. Kane accidentally clotheslines the post and is sent HARD into the steps. A baseball slide puts Kane into the barricade before they head back inside. Kane boots HHH down and throws him right back to the floor. HHH climbs the steps but gets grabbed by the throat and crotched on the barricade. The Mean Street Posse is here for no apparent reason.

Kane rams the future Game’s back into the post a few times before we head back in again. HHH gets slugged down in the corner and an uppercut keeps him down even longer. There’s a big leg for two and HHH is in trouble. He gets shoved out to the floor again and Kane DIVES over the top to take him out again, getting almost no reaction from the crowd at all. Back in and HHH breaks up the top rope clothesline with a beal off the top.

HHH slugs away and hits a Pedigree to stagger Kane. The jumping knee to the face puts Kane down and here’s Chyna. The tombstone and Pedigree are both escaped and Chyna slides in the steps. Both guys are down from something we didn’t see due to the camera being on Chyna but it’s Kane up first. He picks up the steps but Trips kicks them back into his face. Yes, he did something not involving his knees.

HHH hits a DDT onto the steps and clotheslines Kane to the floor. How has there not been a DQ yet? A Pedigree onto the steps is easily countered and we head inside where Kane hits the chokeslam. Instead of covering though, Kane lets Chyna come in with a chair. She hits Kane with it though, turning again and drawing a DQ in the process.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but HHH wasn’t quite ready to hang in a feud like this. He was on the rise, but it would take the street fight at the Rumble to make HHH into a guy that could hang in a fight like this and make it look believable. Chyna turning was a feel good moment but it would wind up being rather stupid in the end. The match wasn’t bad, but much like everything else tonight it’s forgettable.

HHH saves Chyna with some chair shots and a Pedigree on the chair.

Vince says he’ll referee the title match tonight. Again notice that all these angles are being used on the PPV that we already bought rather than to get people to buy the PPV that was already purchased.

Women’s Title: Sable vs. Tori

This is just after Sable turned heel. She’s defending against a psycho fan named Tori here who would wind up sleeping with X-Pac and Kane. Sable won’t let her get in so she dances a bit. Tori, wearing a Catwoman/Giant Gonzalez body suit, pulls the champion to the floor and sends her into the apron a few times, only to get kicked in the ribs by Sable. You can actually see people coming in and going out with food in hand during this match.

Sable dives off the apron to take Tori out before we head back inside. Tori comes back with some shots to the face and a bad looking sunset flip. They BADLY screw up a backslide which gets two on Sable before a bad looking cross body takes out the referee. Cue Nicole Bass who makes Chyna look like a 12 year old girl to slam Tori down. She tells Sable to pin her and the title is retained off a Sable Bomb.

Rating: F. Do I need to explain this one? I didn’t think so. Tori makes Aksana look like Trish and Lita combined if that tells you anything. They sloppiness in this match was cringe worthy and Sable continues to not be able to do anything of note in the ring other than shake her hips and take her clothes off. Nothing to see here at all.

We recap Shane vs. X-Pac. Basically Shane has no idea what to do in the ring but thanks to the Corporation he took the European Title in a tag match. This led to some humorous skits about how tough the streets of Greenwich, Connecticut were and how Shane is the kind of the streets. Shane challenged Pac to a Greenwich street fight on Raw, allowing the Mean Street Posse to help beat up X-Pac. Tonight is about revenge.

X-Pac says he’ll win because Chyna has come home.

European Title: Shane McMahon vs. X-Pac

Test is with the champion Shane here and the Stooges jump Pac in the aisle for good measure. Pac fights them off with ease and we’re ready to go. Shane imitates a bad car by stalling a lot and the chase is on. Back inside and Shane gets a nice leapfrog but gets kicked in the face to take him down. Pac loads up the Bronco Buster but Test makes the save before the Buster can hit. Shane heads up the ramp but can’t get away as the challenger brings him back to ringside. Test throws X-Pac into the post and Shane gets a breather in the ring.

McMahon pounds away on X-Pac in the corner and slams him down to set up a Corporate Elbow. Pac rolls away though, only to get caught by a low blow. Shane gets Test’s belt and whips Pac’s back as Cole talks about Shane getting disqualified. X-Pac sends him to the floor and there’s the big dive to take the champion out. The Posse tries to interfere but gets beaten down for their efforts. An elbow puts X-Pac down back in the ring and a middle rope variety keeps him down. Shane goes up top but takes too long, allowing the Greenwich grapefruits to get crotched.

There’s a superplex but Test breaks up the pin. X-Pac takes Test out and whips Shane with the belt for some revenge. Now the Bronco Buster hits but Test knocks Pac out with the title belt. That gets two for Shane but his own Bronco Buster misses. Test comes in for the 58^th time but gets hit with a Bronco Buster of his own. Cue HHH and Chyna…..who turn on X-Pac, joining the Corporation, THIRTY MINUTES AFTER THEY REUNITED IN DX. The Pedigree on X-Pac lets Shane keep the title.

Rating: D. In less than nine minutes, we had six people interfere, two different belts being used, a low blow, about five interferences by Test, and two people turning on X-Pac. This is all for a midcard title match with a guy that can’t wrestle getting to keep the title from the fan favorite. Ladies and gentlemen, VINCE FREAKING RUSSO!!! The match sucked for the most part but Pac did what he could.

The Outlaws come out for a save but get beaten down for good measure, because you fans aren’t allowed to cheer. Now cue KANE to chase off the Corporation, basically turning face in the process. There’s such a thing as WAY overthinking things and this is a good example of it.

We recap Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man. Basically Undertaker has gone cuckoo and is trying to take over the company while impersonating Satan. This led to a cross being burned on Vince’s lawn and Stephanie’s teddy bear being burned. Taker beat up Vince but Boss Man made the save. This leads to Hell in a Cell tonight, because that recap clearly is enough for a Cell match right?

Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man

Inside the Cell. In 1999. Just go with it. Boss Man DOESN’T EVEN GET AN ENTRANCE. WOW they’re not even trying to hide that this is going to be one sided are they? Boss Man pounds away in the corner and Taker does the same for good measure. A clothesline puts Boss Man down for two as the uninspired stuff continues. Boss Man gets the same for two but a boot to the chest is blocked by Undertaker. They head to the floor with Boss Man being slammed into the Cell. Cole: “This is such a dangerous match. YOU CAN GET A FINGER CAUGHT IN THERE!” Just go with it.

Anyway Boss Man comes back with more punches to the face and handcuffs him to the cage. On the floor, as in where you can’t get a win. Boss Man pounds away with the stick as the fans are REALLY not impressed. Undertaker falls down and the cuff is broken off the wall. Well that was rather pointless.

Taker is almost kind of maybe bleeding as he pulls out a chair. This is really boring so far. Boss Man goes face first into the wall as the fans are booing now. Taker hits the jumping clothesline but Old School is broken up, sending the Dead Man out to the floor again. Back in and the Tombstone is countered, only for the second attempt to hit a few seconds later.

Rating: F. No. Where’s the real Cell match? You don’t go from Shawn vs. Taker to “He may he broken in half” to this. That doesn’t work and there’s no reason to assume it does work. This was a terribly boring match with the tiniest trickle of blood you can have while still officially having blood. Horrible match that would have been bad as a first hour match on Raw, let alone the next to last match on WRESTLEMANIA.

Post match the Brood lowers from the ceiling and breaks into the top of the Cell, lowering a noose into the ring. Boss Man is hung from the top of the cage in an unnecessary visual.

We recap Austin vs. the Corporation. Austin drove McMahon crazy for most of 1998 before Vince FINALLY got the title off of him in the fall. Rock won the vacant title by turning Corporate and becoming the Corporate Champion. Austin was screwed out of the Royal Rumble, but Shawn Michaels changed sides and gave Austin the title shot at Wrestlemania anyway.

Jim Ross comes out to call the main event. He’s returning from a bout with Bell’s palsy.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Vince is guest referee due to the issues earlier tonight. Oh wait here’s Shawn Michaels, the Commissioner, to say that Vince isn’t referee and that it’s going to be a normal referee. The Corporation is barred from ringside as well. Rock is defending if that wasn’t really clear. The place of course goes INSANE for Austin, who for some reason is in an Austin t-shirt instead of the trademark vest. It’s a brawl to start as you would expect with Austin being knocked out to the floor and sent into the announce table. Apparently Vince does have the power to make this No DQ.

Back in for more punching by Rock but he gets backdropped up and over to the floor a second later. They brawl into the crowd where we can barely see them but it’s Philly so it has to be expected. Austin blasts the Rock in the back and they head back to ringside. Scratch that as they’re already going back into the crowd on the other side of the arena. Back to ringside again and Austin is choked with a cable for a bit.

Now they fight up the aisle with Austin hitting a fast clothesline. Austin loads up a piledriver on the concrete, only to be backdropped onto a light instead. Rock is thrown into some kind of equipment and they clothesline each other. Now it’s Rock being choked by a cable and then being thrown into the Wrestlemania XV sign, which wobbles in a scary sight. Rock suplexes Austin in the aisle and spits some water in his face at the announce table. Austin drops him face first onto the barricade before laying him on the announce table for an elbow drop which doesn’t break anything.

The second attempt at an elbow puts Rock through the table and we head back into the ring after about eight minutes of brawling. Wait Rock bails to the floor and wraps Austin’s bad knee around the post. They’re still not ready to stay in the ring as Austin sends Rock into the steps and stomps away a bit more. NOW we head back inside but Austin walks into the Rock Bottom for two. Rock brings in a chair but Austin takes it away and cracks the referee with it by mistake.

A Stunner is blocked and Rock elbows Austin down before laying him out with the chair. Another referee comes in for a two count off a chair shot to the head. Off to a chinlock for an understandably needed breather. Austin fights back up, only to be clotheslined right back down. Back to el chinlock but they fight up again, only for the referee to go down AGAIN. The Stunner hits but Earl Hebner runs down for a very close two. Here’s Vince again as Austin gets a fresh chair.

The distraction lets Rock hit Austin low to block a chair shot and Vince gets in as well. Vince drops Hebner and it’s a double team beatdown on Austin. Cue a hobbled Mick Foley to beat up Vince and count a fast two on Rock. The Thesz Press takes Rock down but Rock comes back with a clothesline and another Rock Bottom. Austin avoids the Elbow, fights out of another Rock Bottom, and Stuns his way to a third world title.

Rating: B-. This one really depends on your taste. They didn’t try to have a regular match here at all and maybe that was the right idea. It’s definitely the weakest of the Austin vs. Rock at Wrestlemania trilogy but Rock wasn’t ready to hang with Austin in a match like this year. The rematch at Backlash would be AWESOME to make up for this, but even this wasn’t bad. It’s very typical of the time, which doesn’t make it dull. This was definitely entertaining, but it’s certainly not for everyone.

Austin celebrates for a LONG time post match and stuns Vince for good measure to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Austin vs. Rock is definitely worth seeing, but the fact that I couldn’t think of a single match other than that one when I was getting ready to do this one says a lot. The show is completely forgettable because of how fast everything was moving out there. That doesn’t make it entertaining, but rather bad most of the time and one of the worst Wrestlemanias ever.

Ratings Comparison

Hardcore Holly vs. Billy Gunn vs. Al Snow

Original: D+

Redo: C-

D’Lo Brown/Test vs. Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett

Original: F+

Redo: C-

Butterbean vs. Bart Gunn

Original: F

Redo: N/A

Mankind vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: D

Ken Shamrock vs. Road Dogg vs. Goldust vs. Val Venis

Original: D

Redo: C

Kane vs. HHH

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Tori vs. Sable

Original: F

Redo: F

X-Pac vs. Shane McMahon

Original: C+

Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man

Original: H (For holy goodness why was this a Cell match?)

Redo: F

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: D

Individual ratings aside, it still sucks.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/22/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-15-this-is-the-best-they-can-do/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro
Date: March 8, 1999
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 9,400
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

This is another request and the ultra rare Nitro request on top of that. This show is another three hour show from WCW and the first hour is considered one of the worst hours of wrestling TV ever. This is also the go home show for Uncensored which has a main event of Hogan vs. Flair. There’s some innovative thinking. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of the special cage (the Cell) being built for the main event on Sunday.

We get a clip from Thunder with Arn Anderson talking to Flair, trying to console him about David Flair turning on his dad. Flair talks about how he’s got Hogan to worry about so he can’t worry about David right now. It’s David’s responsibility and that’s not Ric’s problem anymore. Anderson says that David is young and making mistakes. Ric says that’s not his problem right now. He says the Horsemen are back on top if he wins the title. Anderson says he hopes this is just a game face and that he really is concerned. Flair basically says screw that, it’s my time. Anderson doesn’t like it. This goes on for like seven minutes.

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The Nitro Girls are in Rhode Island at some kind of Nitro Party with competitions and such.

We go to a live Nitro Party in Providence, Rhode Island. They’re at a university apparently. There’s a spring break special and a guy here (last name Kazarian) won a trip to it.

We get introduced to Nitro Girl AC Jazz and see one of their practices.

Hogan talks about how everyone hates him but he did it for the money or something. This is tied into David Flair joining the NWO. Ric is only obsessed with the belt and power and doesn’t care at all about his son bailing. Hogan would NEVER do that but he’s willing to give Flair another shot, but he wants Flair’s career vs. the title. This also runs 5 minutes.

We’re over 20 minutes into this show and we haven’t seen the arena yet.

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Back to the Nitro Party after a presumed commercial. Konnan is at the party too.

Here’s a Konnan rap video to make sure we don’t get any wrestling.

Another NWO video, this one of Hogan and Nash watching a Flair promo. It’s basically them riffing on him as Flair talks about coming back to WCW and seeing his son leave him for the NWO. Hogan and Nash make Buddy Landell jokes that maybe 2% of the audience will get. The NWO says they’ll regroup.

Video on Lex Luger.

Scott Steiner is pulled over while driving a Hummer limo. The cops recognize him and Bagwell……and make them cops. We get a montage of them “stopping crimes” after starting them in the first place while calling each other Starsky and Hutch.

Back to the party with the girls dancing. Kidman is there now and thinks Mysterio can beat Nash.

Video on Mysterio. The NWO took his mask so this Sunday he can get revenge.

Torrie Wilson is shooting a gun at a shooting range when Hogan and Nash come in. They go in to see her and the camera would be right in the path of her bullets. The guys suggest she sleep with David to get him back on their side. They plan to meet for dinner later.

45 minutes in, no arena yet. Keep in mind that this was the hour they had unopposed by Raw. Raw would be having the final push to Mania 15, meaning Austin vs. Rock/McMahon. AND THIS IS WHAT THEY GIVE US. Is anyone surprised they went out of business?

And uh, here’s the dinner. They talk about destroying Ric Flair and plan about David.

See, apparently at this point there were four dark matches going on in the arena. We’re getting this hour of stuff instead. Looking at the card though, this might be more entertaining. Looking at Torrie Wilson with a dress that comes to her upper thigh is never a problem. She says there’s another hot girl she knows. The girl is some chick named Denise who I don’t recognize. Her last name is Robinson, meaning we get Graduate jokes. Apparently she’ll get 20 grand for taking care of David. Sounds like a sweet deal actually.

Now we get the theme song. SO WHAT WAS THAT FIRST HOUR???

We go to the arena…for an interview. Well of course we do. Gene calls out Goldberg for a chat but we get Torrie and David instead. David wants to talk to Ric man to man tonight. Goldberg’s music hits….and we take a break. Back with Goldberg in the ring, talking to David about respect. He isn’t going to take care of things like he usually would. That’s good. It might be entertaining.

David needs to respect what his father has done for the business because it’s more than David and his friends could ever do. David also needs to respect Goldberg because this is his time. David shoves him and gets choked, so here comes Ric. Flair sprints down and chops Goldberg once before turning to David, who is running away. Press slam to Ric (who is president at this point) and Naitch is in trouble. Flair makes Goldberg vs. himself tonight. Goldberg says Flair is crossing the line so Flair yells some more.

ANOTHER commercial.

Raven vs. Hak

Falls count anywhere. Neither gets an entrance. Raven has a chair and Hak (Sandman) has a cane, but as the bell rings….they hug. Oh never mind as Raven pounds him down almost immediately. HARD cane shot to Hak’s head and they head to the floor. Bam Bam Bigelow will join these two at Uncensored in a triangle match. Hak puts him on the guardrail and hits a leg to the back ala RVD minus the spin.

They go up the ramp with Raven hitting a suplex onto the steel. Bird Boy busts out a table on the stage. He climbs the scaffolding to put Hak through it and here’s Bigelow, who isn’t in the match. He beats up Hak anyway as the fans chant for Goldberg. The bell rings and I guess the match is thrown out to HUGE booing.

Rating: D+. This was stupid. I guess they were previewing the PPV match but it didn’t make me want to see it. Also it’s Raven’s Rules so how can that be a DQ? Stupid match with a stupid ending. The table spot and the cane shot weren’t bad, but what was the point of this?

Apparently the bell was inadvertent so we’re going to continue this in the same match we’ll see on Sunday. Great.

Hak vs. Raven vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

They’re fighting in the back with Hak being thrown all over the place. Hak comes back and fights up to an ambulance. Here’s Raven again and it’s just random brawling. There’s a trash cart and Hak goes for a ride in it. They fight over to Flair’s limo and Raven DDTs Hak on the hood, only to get crushed by Bigelow.

He hits Raven in the groin on the hood and they’re all exhausted. They keep beating on each other and you can hear the boring chants. The problem here is they’re just laying around, doing a spot, then laying around more. They all just walk away to end it. No rating because it wasn’t really a match, but this was STUPID.

Now we get clips of the three guys fighting last week. Ok then.

Lizmark Jr. vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho (WITH RALPHUS!) comes out wearing a dog collar. Jericho grabs the mic and welcomes us to Monday Night Jericho. Tony: “Hey we’re talking here fellow!” Chris wants to talk about Perry Saturn, who has challenged Jericho to a chain match on Sunday. Jericho is a master of the chain match though, after training on mountain tops in Nepal. He’s a Swami you see. This match is going to be a chain match. Tony: “There’s been too much talk and not enough wrestling here.” I think I just died because of that line.

The bell rings so let’s talk about Flair some more. I think you win by pin or submission here. Jericho steps on the chain to pull Lizmark in to start and chokes with it. He wraps the chain around the knee and drops it in a unique spot. Lizmark gets tied up with the chain as Tony talks about the chain match at Starrcade 83. Can we watch that instead? It’s a MUCH better match than anything that’ll be on this show. Lizmark chokes him a bit but walks into a kind of spinebuster and the Liontamer for the tap.

Rating: D+. There were some nice moves in this from Jericho but it was just a squash. Jericho has said he had more or less made up his mind that he was gone soon after this and in fact he would be in the WWF by I believe August, where things would go MUCH better for him. Lizmark never quite meant much in WCW.

Here’s Steiner to say he’s well built and all that. The fans are all fat. Buff Bagwell says Booker is too stupid to back out of the match tonight.

TV Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

Steiner is TV Champion. The announcers talk about how great the NWO has been at what they’ve done. We’re two and a half years into the plan so far and it still hasn’t worked but whatever. Feeling out process to start and Booker hits a spinning forearm for two. A hook kick knocks Steiner to the floor and Tony complains about Steiner taking a break. Larry goes into some weird environmental speech about breathing clean air before Tony cuts him off.

Back in the ring and Booker rams him into the corner a few times before Scott kicks him low to take over. Out to the floor again and we get a steroids chant. We take a break and come back with Booker hitting a forearm for one but getting taken down by a clothesline. Spinning belly to belly puts Booker down and Steiner keeps pounding away at the back. He pounds Booker down in the corner with punches and gets two off a backbreaker.

Steiner keeps up the power with a slam and chokes Booker in the Tree of Woe. Booker escapes another slam and hits a neckbreaker to break up Steiner’s momentum just for a second. Ax kick out of nowhere puts Steiner down and there’s the Spinarooni. Booker goes up but gets crotched by Bagwell. There’s the Recliner and Booker’s arm drops twice. He holds it up for the third drop so Steiner drops him….which counts as the third arm drop and Steiner wins by knockout. At least it’s over.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible match here but Steiner just wasn’t over yet. That didn’t stop the company from shoving him down our throats of course but when did it ever? Bagwell was beyond annoying here and did the match no favors. Still though, it was nice to see a match get some time as opposed to what you were expecting with Raw at this time.

Steiner hits Booker in the back with a chair post match.

We see the Flair vs. Goldberg showdown earlier.

The Nitro Girls dance as Tony talks about upcoming house shows (his words).

Jerry Flynn gets promo time for some reason. Before he talks, Sonny Onoo (one of his opponents on Sunday and minus his accent) comes up but Jerry grabs him by the shirt. Ernest Miller, the other opponent, kicks Flynn in the back of the head and they cut off his mullet.

Scott Norton vs. Rey Mysterio

I think you get the idea here as Mysterio has Nash on Sunday. Norton is looking old here. Rey gets knocked to the floor and is holding his back. There isn’t much to say at all here. Mysterio charges at Norton, Norton knocks him down, Rey lays around a lot, Norton hits him some more, Rey charges at Norton and we repeat it again.

Norton throws him out to the floor and Rey’s back is hurt. Rey counters the shoulderbreaker but gets dropped on the buckle to stop the comeback. Norton kills him with a clothesline but picks him up. He does the same off a one handed press slam. Ok that was cool. Then Rey kicks him low and a fast count pins Norton. Seriously, that’s it.

Rating: F. What in the world did this accomplish? Rey looks like a ragdoll, Norton looks like an idiot, I have no reason to believe Rey can beat Nash fairly or have a chance against him, and the match was boring because Norton did little more than stand around the whole time. What was this supposed to accomplish?

More Nitro Girls.

The same cage building video from earlier is shown.

Van Hammer vs. Bret Hart

O……k. Apparently there are more stipulations for Flair vs. Hogan but you have to check the WCW website for them. Egads. Feeling out process to start and Bret is sent to the floor to cool off a bit. Back in and Van Hammer works on the arm but Bret nips up into an arm hold of his own. Van Hammer takes him right back down into a wristlock. He takes Bret into the corner and has been in control most of the match.

Bret is like screw that and hits Hammer low to take over. It’s time to work on the leg so Bret goes through his usual sequence of wear down stuff. Figure Four goes on (the wrong leg) but Van Hammer makes the rope. In a nice heel move Bret won’t let go and spends a long time explaining to the referee that it’s because Hammer is laying on his leg. Small package gets two for Hammer.

Hammer hooks the slowest motion backslide ever for two. Bret goes back to the knee with a cannonball down onto it. The leg gets wrapped around the post and a DDT gets two for the Hitman. Back to the floor and Bret tries to ram the leg into the post again, only to get pulled into it face first. Back in and Hammer suplexes him for no cover. Van Hammer’s cobra clutch slam gets two. An enziguri misses and it’s Sharpshooter time. You know that ends it.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but why would you wasted a 12 minute Bret Hart match on freaking Van Hammer? This is where WCW never made a ton of sense (I know, I know): they had no clue what to do with Bret as he was in the midcard for most of his time there, especially after the first few months where he didn’t do much of anything.

Bret hits the leg with a chair post match.

Hogan and Nash come to the commentary booth and run off Heenan and Tenay.

Ric Flair vs. Goldberg

You know you might think this should be saved for a PPV. That would make too much sense I guess though. Nash brings up a good question: why does Flair wear his knee pads below his knees? Flair gets taken down quickly and is shoved down a second time. Shoulder block doesn’t work at all for Flair. A second does even less. A third results in a gorilla press powerslam to have Flair in agony.

Flair tries to walk up the aisle but Goldberg drags him back. Nash talks about some really strong dude from the Emerald city but he isn’t sure what happened to him. A low blow puts Goldberg down (popular move tonight) and chops don’t work. Another low blow puts Goldie down for an easily broken two count. Goldberg stars a comeback but Flair kicks him low a third time. Refereeing in this company sucks.

Time to go after the legs and after a single shot it’s Figure Four time. That gets powered out of so Flair fires off some kicks. Goldberg no sells them and sends Flair to the corner for the Flair Flip and out to the floor. Flair gets slammed down but the spear misses and he hits the buckle. Goldberg no sells a suplex and spears him down. The NWO D-Team runs in for the no contest.

Rating: C+. This was getting really good until the bad ending. See, here’s what I don’t get. What was the point in the NWO coming in? Hogan is facing Flair on Sunday so wouldn’t they want him to get hit with the Jackhammer to hurt him more? Goldberg didn’t have a match on Sunday and wasn’t on the show at all, so why would they attack him? That’s a basic plot problem.

Hogan and Nash come in also and it’s a big NWO beatdown to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. I know the expected thing is to say that this is the worst show ever and all that, but it really isn’t. Don’t get me wrong: it’s bad and this was a chore to sit through, but it wasn’t the worst show ever. This was just dull for the most part. Considering I didn’t have to pay much attention at all to the first hour, this was just a bad Nitro. That being said, the show still sucks, but I’ve seen far worse shows. The lack of energy or anyone caring at all is really evident though.

Here’s Uncensored if you’re interested:

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews