Monday Nitro #263
Date: October 23, 2000
Location: Alltel Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray, Mark Madden

We’re stateside again and it’s the go home show for Halloween Havoc which actually has a pretty solid looking card. Of course I don’t expect WCW to actually make that work but at least the build hasn’t been the worst. Unfortunately you never can tell what the final push for something like this is going to be. Let’s get to it.

We open with a montage of events from Australia.

Opening sequence.

Perfect Event vs. Harris Brothers

Kevin Nash is on commentary. Stasiak slugs away at Don to start and stomps away in the corner. The announcers are stunned that he’s doing anything right so Don clotheslines Shawn down to take over. Palumbo comes in and gets beaten down as well, only to run the corners to dropkick Don off the apron. At least that looked good. An ankle scissors out of the corner looks good as well but Palumbo gets in an argument with Stasiak so Shawn drops to the floor. The H Bomb ends Palumbo in a hurry.

Post match Nash gets in the ring so Stasiak gets in his face, only to have Nash drive him into the corner. No punches are thrown but Nash takes his hat off and gives Stasiak a serious look. Stasiak leaves so Nash gets on commentary again to promise tough love.

Mike Sanders is ready for his kickboxing match on Sunday and has a three round exhibition set up for tonight. This could go so many bad ways I don’t even know how to laugh at it.

Gene brings out Booker T. for a chat. Booker knows that people think he’s crazy but he’s out doing this for his fans and his family every single night. When he came down the ramp tonight, it was like a light bulb went off over his head because this is what it’s all about. Booker doesn’t think much of Scott Steiner and just like everyone else, Scott is going to have to kill him to take this title. Steiner better be ready to take a beating because Booker is going to have all these fans in his corner.

Cue Steiner and Midajah, hopefully to breathe some life into this thing. Steiner talks about Ebonics and welfare before saying Booker is only holding the title until Scott knocks him out. The brawl is on in the aisle but Jeff Jarrett jumps Booker from behind to put the champ down. There go the lights and it’s Sting with the save, probably setting up a main event. The locker room comes out to break it up, which always feels better than referees and goons. Awesome and Steiner point at each other a lot to tease something for later. This started slow but the pull apart brawl helped it a lot.

Post break, Steiner says he wants Awesome tonight and makes sheep noises.

Here’s Sanders in head gear for his kickboxing exhibition but first he says that he’s from Badstreet USA. The further down you go the worse it gets and he lives in the last house on the left. Thankfully the announcers are all over the Freebirds ripoff as the opponents are revealed as the Jung Dragons.

Before the match, Sanders puts something on his gloves before Jamie-San starts it like a wrestling match. A shot to the eyes blinds Jamie and a right hand is enough for the knockout. The same thing happens to Yang but Kaz gets in a few good shots, including sending Mike into the buckles a few times. That earns Kaz a shot to the eyes as well, setting up a kick for the third knockout. Leia Meow comes in for a low blow but Mike is wearing a cup. Sanders threatens her with the cup but here’s Ms. Jones to interrupt, allowing Cat to sneak in to KO Sanders. I’m not calling it a match but total waste of TV time.

Here’s Kronik to say that this thing with Goldberg started as business but now it’s personal. Goldberg may want the money but they’ve got a lot more to prove. If Goldberg wins, he beats two monsters and looks awesome. That’s not happening though because that’s not how it works in the real world. We’re not done yet though as Kronik has some new clients in 3 Count. Apparently they’ve hired Kronik to make sure no one interrupts their performance tonight. Clark doesn’t want to hear the music though so it’s time for a match.

Kronik vs. 3 Count

Well by match I mean a squash lasting 56 seconds before High Times puts Evan away.

Nash has a test for Stasiak tonight. In addition to that, Nash isn’t in a good mood tonight because Scott Hall received his walking papers last week. This Outsiders gimmick isn’t a work though so they’ll run again.

Here are the Misfits in Action dressed as Team Canada for the parody promo. Loco is the former 100 Ounces and Under Champion, AWOL, with his ten foot board, is Jigsaw Jim Jughead (Did the Clowns give him nickname lessons?) and Cajun makes a lot of lame Canada jokes, all of them capped off with an “eh?”. Loco goes on about being Wine Time and implies he was the water boy in the Canadian Football League. Rection finally ends this and says he’s taking the title and they’re taking Major Gunns back because that story is STILL going.

That 70s Guy hits on Pamela and would be glad to face Steiner tonight. Just let him be the monster that he’s perfect as instead of this goof. Thankfully he gets serious and promises to give Steiner a beating before he wins the title next week.

Here are Nash and the Thrillers with Kevin talking about the Outsiders again. They were a real team but Stasiak needs to learn the concept.

Goldberg vs. Shawn Stasiak

This is the test and it’s over in 40 seconds. We’re three matches in and have seen less than five minutes of wrestling.

Goldberg says he’ll take care of Kronik on Sunday.

Filthy Animals vs. Boogie Knights vs. O’Haire/Jindrak is official for Sunday. That could be good if they don’t make the champions look horrible again.

Billy Kidman vs. Alex Wright vs. Mark Jindrak

Before the match, Disco promises that he and Alex are launching an official investigation into finding out who let the dogs out. See, there are a lot of drunk drivers in Little Rock and Disco wants the dogs to be safe. Jindrak gets double teamed to start as Stevie picks Alex to win this. A German suplex gets two on Mark with Kidman making the save. That earns Kidman a torture rack neckbreaker but Alex dropkicks Mark for two more. Everything breaks down on the floor and Kidman gets launched into the ring and he grabs the Kid Crusher to put Alex away in another way too short match.

It’s a big brawl post match with the Animals clearing out the ring.

Crowbar, again in the 70s gear, hits on Pamela until Jimmy Hart comes in to say Crowbar has a match.

The announcers talk about the pay per view.

Video on David Flair going insane trying to find out who fathered Stacy Keibler’s baby.

Video on Sunday’s three big matches.

Vampiro vs. Crowbar

For some reason Vampiro has nunchucks and takes over very quickly with some hard shots. A hard whip into the barricade cuts off Crowbar’s comeback because the shots with a deadly weapon didn’t do enough damage. They get inside for the first time and chop it out as Madden calls Vampiro an angry Count Chockula. Crowbar comes back and sends Vampiro to the floor for the apron splash. With nothing else working, Crowbar drives his fingers into Vampiro’s eyes. Madden: “He’s not a bowling ball!”

Some good looking right hands knock Vampiro into the barricade and Crowbar drives him HARD into the steps. Vampiro actually suckers him in to take over again as the announcers try to figure out why this match is taking place. It’s very telling that the idea of “they’re fighting because the company put together a show instead of some authority figure” is unthinkable. Back in and Vampiro sends him flying with something like a belly to belly superplex to give the fans a sends of genuine excitement.

Crowbar starts no selling chair shots and pelts the chair at Vampiro to break up something off the ropes. Vampiro kicks the chair into Crowbar’s face for two but Crowbar crotches him off the ropes, setting up a slingshot flip legdrop onto the chair. They fight over to the DJ Ran booth (I’ll give you a minute to take in the fact that DJ Ran is still a thing in October 2000) where two druids set up a pair of tables. Crowbar fights off the druids but gets chokeslammed through the tables (Tony: “As only a vampire can!”) for the knockout win.

Rating: B+. This was a heck of a fight as these guys just beat the heck out of each other for nearly ten minutes. If there’s a better hidden gem in WCW than Crowbar I have no idea who he is because Crowbar continues to be awesome every time he’s in the ring. I had a really good time with this as they were giving it everything they had instead of doing anything resembling a match. On a side note, it’s really sad to get excited over a match nearly breaking ten minutes but it’s so rare for TV these days.

Post match Vampiro says this is all on Mike Awesome, who put him out two months ago. Vampiro wants to fight Mike this Sunday because that’s what Vampiro does best. Vampiro: “Be there or be square.”

Crowbar gets stretchered out.

Konnan vs. Shane Douglas

Actually hang on because Shane has a bad arm. Torrie has been a nervous, medicated wreck all week because her man can’t take care of her. Konnan offers her a facial and I’m going to hope you don’t know what that can mean. For some reason Shane keeps calling him Carlos but Konnan says he’s heard it’s a legitimate injury so they won’t fight.

Shane jumps him anyway but gets taken down onto the arm. Konnan slaps on a freaky submission where he wraps his leg around Shane’s head and cranks on the arm which is quickly released for no logical reason. The bad arm is sent into the steps, only to have Torrie slip in a chain. A left hand and the Franchiser put Konnan away quick to make sure that he looks even more worthless.

Scott Steiner vs. Mike Awesome

During the entrances, Tony offers his condolences on the passing of Yokozuna. However, Steiner cuts off the feelings by bringing out A TIGER. As in the tiger comes down to ringside and then leaves about five seconds later. I have no idea why that happened but it certainly got my attention. Booker comes out as a surprise commentator, or as much of a surprise as you can be while your video plays over Awesome’s music. Awesome takes over to start and gets two off a slingshot splash.

The Awesome Splash gets the same as Booker talks about wanting to face Mike next week. Midajah, in her five inch heels, comes in and kicks Awesome over the top. Back in and a suplex (not a fall away slam Tony) allows Steiner to do some pushups. Mike breaks up a superplex attempt and gets two off a top rope clothesline. The Awesome Bomb is loaded up but Midajah grabs the boot, allowing Steiner to get in a pipe shot. A top rope Angle Slam sets up the Recliner to put Awesome away. There’s your #1 contender people.

Rating: D+. This is a case of the horrible booking overtaking the decent action. Of all the people they have in this company they had to job the guy who is getting a guaranteed World Title match in a week? There was NO ONE else around? Like, Sting for instance? He and Jarrett didn’t get any real focus tonight so why not have Jarrett do the distraction so Steiner can beat him and set up two things at once? Too logical I guess but it would have been better than Awesome losing here.

Booker looks a little scared to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. You really can feel the lack of Russo’s influence around this time as you can understand the stories throughout the show and even get some decent action in there. Unfortunately you also get five matches that add up to about nine minutes of wrestling. There comes a point where you just need some good wrestling and I really can’t imagine that’s going to be the case at the pay per view. They’re on the right track but they need a lot of effort to make this whole thing work again.

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Thunder
Date: October 18, 2000
Location: Rod Laver Arena, Melbourne, Australia
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone

We’ll wrap up the Australian tour with one of wrestling’s best traditions: a battle royal for a future title shot. In this case it’s all for the #1 contendership with the title shot coming on the Nitro after Halloween Havoc. These overseas shows have been hit or miss so it should be interesting to see how this one goes. Let’s get to it.

We see Sam Greco working out like any martial arts wrestler (in theory) does. He’ll be interviewed later.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Sanders

Before the match, Sanders praises Nash and the Thrillers but makes sure not to swear in the process. I can get behind that theory. This is going to be a non-title match so here’s Cat to make it No DQ as well. You know, because Rey Mysterio can get so violent and this will in no way allow interference by any of Sanders’ cronies.

Cat sits in on commentary as Mysterio takes over to start, which is made even better when Sanders lays on the middle rope for a legdrop. As in he walked over there and got into position for the move with no provocation so Rey could drop a leg on him. A top rope splash gives Rey two and now let’s look at the announcers cracking each other up. Rey bulldogs him down as this is pretty much the last thing you want to do to a champion. Then again O’Haire and Jindrak have been treated like goons for weeks and still have the belts so maybe Sanders is on to something here.

The Bronco Buster connects but Rey gets crotched on the top. Shouldn’t that have a similar impact? Sanders yells at Cat for some reason, allowing Rey to come back with a guillotine legdrop for two. A victory roll a few seconds later is enough to put Sanders away. No idea why this needed to be No DQ.

Rating: D+. Some of Rey’s high spots were good but this did more harm than good. Why WCW feels the need to have their young champions lose over and over is beyond me but that’s what we’re going to be seeing for the time being because Heaven forbid someone actually get over around here.

Shane Douglas promises to win the battle royal tonight. I wouldn’t bet on that one chum.

Video on Kronik vs. Goldberg.

Kronik jumps Goldberg from behind, possibly taking him out of the battle royal later. Smart move if nothing else.

Shane Douglas vs. Big Vito

Vito sucks up to the fans and wants to get his hands on Reno. You might try Nevada instead of Australia then. They circle each other to start until Vito gives him an atomic drop for a comedic sell job. Another atomic drop takes us to the floor and Shane gets backdropped outside for good measure. Vito hits a quick suplex and drops a headbutt for one, followed by his always good looking top rope elbow for double that. That means it’s chain time but a shot to Vito’s head only sets up the Pittsburgh Plunge for two. Not that it matters as the Franchiser ends Vito a few seconds later.

Rating: D. This was what you would expect: take someone who was hot a few years back and put them over someone you’ve been pushing lately because of whatever reason they have at the moment. Oh and make sure that the guy challenging for the Hardcore Title soon after this loses as soon as weapons get involved.

Goldberg beats up Ron Harris for no apparent reason.

Mike Awesome and Crowbar are ready for the battle royal tonight.

Boogie Knights vs. Harris Twins

This could be….well it’s going to be something for sure. After the Knights do some catchphrases, only Don comes out for some reason. The actual team takes over with a nice missile dropkick but Wright charges into a Rock Bottom. Cue Ron for a sidewalk slam on Disco….and an elbow to the Duck. Disco gets dropped face first onto the mat to send him outside where he finds ANOTHER Duck. A Duck shot to Ron sets up a high cross body to give Disco the pin.

Rating: D. I’m not sure what the point of this one was but it really didn’t work. I get the Goldberg stuff earlier in the night but the Boogie Knights vs. one of the Harris Twins really isn’t the way to get the crowd into a show. The Knights are actually a decent team though and that’s all they need to be since they aren’t likely to get near the titles anytime soon.

Team Canada promises to end General Rection’s career at Halloween Havoc. An argument breaks out over who deserves the World Title shot.

Video on Steiner vs. Booker T.

Scott Steiner invites Pamela Paulshock to join him later tonight. At least he has good taste.

Elix Skipper comes out to run his mouth about how awesome he is until someone sneaks up on him.

Goldberg vs. Elix Skipper

A gorilla press into a World’s Strongest Slam sets up the two moves and we’re done in a little over a minutes.

Post match Goldberg says that’s 11-0 and he’s coming for Kronik. As usual I’ll remind you: other than YOU’RE NEXT, Goldberg shouldn’t be talking.

As he’s done for weeks now, Jeff Jarrett says Sting is soft.

Jeff Jarrett/Scott Steiner vs. Kidman/Konnan

Steiner throws Kidman around like the cruiserweight jobber he is now and we’re already on the signature stuff. The gorilla press sets up the push-ups, followed by a quick stomping in the corner. Kidman gets in a quick dropkick before Konnan comes in with the rolling clothesline. It’s off to Kidman vs. Jarrett with the Sky High planting Jeff for two, only to have Torrie come out and kidnap Tygress. The top rope Angle Slam sets up the Recliner to put Kidman away in a hurry.

Rating: D. So much for Kidman meaning much around here anymore. Why bother keeping him strong when you can have Steiner and Jarrett beat up the Filthy Animals for fun? This was your usual squashing of two midcarders who could go somewhere in WCW but instead they get beaten down for the sake of Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner, the latter of whom is already #1 contender.

Goldberg is still here.

Ric Flair arrives.

Booker and Sting want the Tag Team Titles. For reasons that aren’t clear, Booker is in the battle royal tonight.

It’s time for the interview with Sam Greco who is officially part of WCW. He’s ready to be aggressive in the ring and is already friends with Goldberg. Tony asks about being a martial artist like the Cat but Greco would rather focus on wrestling in the ring. Greco talks about being a Rocky movie with a Goldberg intensity. We wrap it up with Greco saying he’ll be bringing intensity to the table three or four times. From what I can find, Greco only wrestled three times with all three matches in Japan and the first being in November 2002.

The Thrillers sing a little Backstreet Boys. Sanders is told to make sure the team keeps the titles tonight.

Video on Jarrett vs. Sting.

Tag Team Titles: Booker T./Sting vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire

Booker and Sting are challenging. Sting and O’Haire get things going with the champions taking over early on until Jindrak comes in to send Sting outside. In a ridiculous power display, the champs throw Sting over the top and back inside. For some reason Madden asks if the Funk Brothers are up and coming contenders. Sting elbows them both out of the corner and the hot tag brings in Booker to clean house. The ax and side kicks get two on Sean and it’s a double finisher, only to have Mike Sanders come in and jump the referee for the DQ. After the champions were knocked out in less than three minutes of course.

Sting and Booker pose as Tony says the fans deserved a better match than that. Well yeah.

This Week in WCW Motorsports was very bad as the car didn’t qualify for the race.

Kronik vs. Perfect Event

Clark doesn’t waste any time and dives off the apron to take Palumbo out, leaving Stasiak alone for a bit. The power guys beat on him like he’s the weak link of the Thrillers, which is the way the announcers are presenting him for whatever reason. I mean, ignore the team that loses all the time when you can make fun of Stasiak right? The full nelson slam causes Stasiak to kick Palumbo in the face, setting up High Times for the pin on Chuck.

Post match here’s Goldberg but he gets chaired down, followed by High Times.

Here’s Ric Flair to be interviewed by Mark Madden. Ric talks about the fans being amazing in the best country in the world because the women here are amazing. However, he’s here to bring his son home. Cue David in a white coat and Ric gets right to the point: they can have all the women they want for the next thirty days if he’ll come home. David says no so Ric leaves, causing Madden to yell at David, basically erasing all the times that he ripped on Ric months ago. With Mark yelling, David tries to give him a blood test.

Halloween Havoc video.

Countdown to Armageddon

This is basically a Royal Rumble allegedly with two minute intervals. Mike Sanders and the Cat start things off and yeah they’re not even trying to hide the fake randomness. They slug it out to start with Cat getting in an elbow and a kick because what else was he going to hit? Shawn Stasiak is in at #3 and it’s time for the run of the mill team beating on a single guy.

Chuck Palumbo is in at #4 and the intervals are more like thirty to forty seconds. The three on one beatdown continues until it’s Disco Inferno in at #5. Disco is smart enough to hang back while everyone beats on Cat until Alex Wright comes in at #6 because RANDOM. It’s rather amusing to hear Tony try to push this as a random draw which WWE was nice enough to drop years ago. Crowbar, minus the 70s stuff, is in at #7. Naturally this turns into a debate about whether or not it’s bad to work at a service station.

Ron Harris is in at #8 as these intervals are getting shorter and shorter. Don Harris is in at #9 as the ring is way too full. Jim Duggan is in at #10 as there’s barely time to write out who is entering before Penzer starts the next countdown. Duggan slugs away for a bit and it’s Lieutenant Loco in at #11. Kevin Nash is in at #12 and we take a break to come back with Nash just getting in the ring to get rid of Duggan, Loco, Sanders and Cat in just a few seconds. The Boogie Knights get rid of Crowbar but get dumped by Nash as David Flair is in at #13.

Perfect Event gets rid of the Harris Twins but get in a fight, allowing Stasiak to hit a horrible right hand to get rid of Palumbo. Stasiak jumps out to avoid facing Nash, who dumps David a few seconds later. Corporal Cajun is in at #14 and eliminated fifteen seconds later, leaving Nash alone. Kwee Wee is in at #15 and is eliminated even faster than Cajun. At least we don’t have to sit around in the meantime.

Rey Mysterio is in at #16 and actually puts Nash down with a springboard missile dropkick. Mysterio escapes a Jackknife and here’s Booker T., as in the World Champion in a match for the #1 contendership, in at #17. That goes nowhere so here’s Mike Awesome at #18. Sting is in at #19 as we’re getting some interesting names in there but the short intervals are making it really hard to care. Everyone goes after Nash, which Madden says is like an old kung fu movie. Nash gets dumped as Jeff Jarrett comes in at #20, though Scott Steiner comes in as well. We’ll call that #21.

Sting Cactus Clotheslines Jeff out for the double elimination (with Steiner leaving as well) and it’s Kidman in at #22. Awesome dumps Booker off camera (oh come on), leaving us with Awesome, Kidman and Mysterio. Lance Storm is in at #23 and nothing happens until Big Vito is in at #24. Sean O’Haire is in at #25 as the announcers can’t remember what number we’re on.

Mark Jindrak is in at #26 as they aren’t even hiding the random stuff here. Konnan is in at #27 as the mindless brawling continues. Kronik, as in both members, come in at #28 and Adams gets rid of Kidman in a hurry. Rey and Konnan go out as well, followed by Storm and Vito. The intervals have stopped and Adams hits the ugliest piledriver I’ve ever seen to thankfully not cripple Awesome.

That’s not enough to get rid of him though so here’s Goldberg, apparently not an entrant because he can’t get a title shot (but the WORLD CHAMPION can). Jindrak and O’Haire are put out and Clark quickly follows. Adams tries to bring in a chair but gets speared, setting up a double clothesline from Awesome and Goldberg to give Mike the win, thereby confusing the fans since Goldberg is still in the ring as Awesome is announced as the winner.

Rating: C. Some really questionable moments aside, this was actually pretty enjoyable. I kind of liked the hyper intervals as it kept the match from dragging because people like Jindrak, Loco and Kwee Wee certainly aren’t getting a title shot so why pretend they will? Awesome winning is a nice surprise, even though the 70s music playing to end the show really made it feel silly. It’s good to see someone fresh in the main event instead of having the same five or six guys get title shot after title shot. This was as good as it was going to be and they managed to avoid most of the stupid battle royal tropes so call it a nice surprise.

Overall Rating: D+. The big main event helped but the rest of the show still had so many of the same problems that regularly plague WCW. As is so often the case, the World Title is the only thing that matters, assuming you have any reason to care about it after all the damage it’s taken over the last year. Not a terrible show but still bad enough to fit the WCW mold to a tee.

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Monday Nitro #262
Date: October 16, 2000
Location: Rod Laver Arena, Melbourne, Australia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray, Mark Madden

We’re still in Australia and that’s been a good thing so far. Halloween Havoc is in less than two weeks and we’ve got the main event set but the main story seems to be more about humiliating the Natural Born Thrillers at every given chance. Other than that we have Goldberg trying to recreate the Streak with the Sid Vicious formula of knocking people out and counting it as a win. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Boogie Knights vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire

Disco and Wright are challenging in a rematch from last week where the Knights pinned the champions. This is different from Thunder where the champions were pinned again as Thunder resulted in a title change whereas the previous match was restarted. Before the match, Alex rambles in German and Disco says the Thrillers are barred from ringside. The champs try to get in a cheap shot from behind to start but Disco gets a quick one off a swinging neckbreaker.

Alex gets two off a powerslam as Madden wonders why Wright has no hair. Jindrak hits Disco from the apron to take over as the fans are yelling at Disco because heel vs. heel matches aren’t a good idea. Mark puts Disco on the top rope for some hard shots to the jaw and everything breaks down, meaning it’s time for a ref bump. The Seanton Bomb misses and Disco gives Mark the Chartbuster, only to have Kronik come in with High Times to Disco. Tony: “It’s the hired guns of Mark Sanders.” Wright gets beaten down as well, allowing Jindrak to retain the titles.

Rating: D. More of the same here but at least the champions didn’t get pinned again. I can live with them being laid out with a finisher because there was no count but having them pinned twice on TV in a week was a huge bullet to their credibility. The Knights are a nice team and fit together well. I’m actually digging their stuff as both of them are good in the ring when they cut out the comedy stuff.

Sanders tells Nash that they’re about to take over WCW. Nash says he’s too hung over to do anything tonight.

Goldberg arrives.

The Thrillers come in to see the Cat and Miss Jones to talk about Nash being annoyed. Cat yells at them so Sanders makes Sting vs. Nash tonight. That’s not it though as Cat makes it a lumberjack match. Boy it’s convenient that Nash just said not to book him.

Team Canada vs. Misfits in Action

Before the match, Storm talks about being sick of Australia and promises to give Rection a preview of Halloween Havoc. It’s Loco/Cajun/AWOL for the Misfits here with Rection nowhere in sight. Skipper and Loco get things going and here’s Rection through the crowd to pull Storm off the apron. So why not just have him come out with them in the first place? Security quickly ejects him as Duggan comes in to beat on Loco.

AWOL gets the tag and is immediately dropkicked in the knee so it’s back to Loco as the beating continues. Everything breaks down (of course) and the referee gets bumped (of course), allowing Cajun to dropkick Skipper through the table (of course). Gunns slides in a chair to the wrong man but Storm’s shot to Loco’s back only gets two. Instead it’s the Maple Leaf making Cajun tap a few seconds later.

Rating: D. I’m getting tired of this same match structure over and over. You’re almost guaranteed a ref bump and some interference, but above all else you’re almost guaranteed that Team Canada will beat the Misfits with Gunns screwing something up. This has been the story for months now and it stopped being interesting when it started.

Here are Shane Douglas and Torrie to insult the fans. Shane invited the Filthy Animals to come out here for a fight right now.

Shane Douglas vs. Filthy Animals

Yes a heel is in a handicap match against non-jobbers. In this case that would be Konnan/Mysterio/Tygress, meaning we’re in our third match and are already on our fourth stable. The Animals destroy Shane until he maces them for a quick DQ.

Post match Konnan gets handcuffed to the ropes while Shane piledrives (not a shoulder breaker Tony) Mysterio.

Stasiak and Palumbo are mad about getting beaten up by Goldberg so Nash tells them to drop it.

Mysterio is put in an ambulance.

Shawn Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo vs. Crowbar/Mike Awesome

Nash is on commentary. Awesome and Palumbo get things going as Nash wants the 70s music abolished. Palumbo springboard dropkicks Awesome to the floor and the fans start chanting for Mike. A Stasiak baseball slide hits Palumbo by mistake and it’s time for an argument, allowing Awesome to dive over the top to take them both down. Things settle back down to Palumbo headscissoring Crowbar down to set up a superkick out to the floor.

Crowbar hurricanranas Palumbo and drops a slingshot legdrop on Stasiak for two. It’s back to Awesome who gets crotched on top and superplexed as Nash and Madded continue to riff on the match by talking about how horrible a student Stasiak is. Stasiak hits Palumbo by mistake and an Awesome Splash is enough to pin Shawn.

Rating: D. Even when they bring someone up to help bolster the roster they can’t help but screw things up. Nash was the star here because he’s the coach with the stupid kids under his wings and as usual, the Thrillers are made to look like losers. They’re going out of their way for this stuff at the moment and I have no idea what the point of this could be. I’m sure they’re doing this to draw money or whatever because that’s all WCW was ever about.

Nash throws a chair into the ring ala Bobby Knight to make sure you know this is ALL about Nash instead of anyone else.

Douglas is proud about what he did and wants a World Title shot tonight. Torrie calls Pamela Paulshock a very bad word.

David Flair wants Buff Bagwell in a DNA match at Halloween Havoc, whatever that is. Sanders gives him the match but has a job for David tonight.

Johnny the Bull vs. Kwee Wee

Fallout from the Lava Lamp Lounge. Kwee Wee monkey flips him to start and Johnny snaps his ankle, giving Kwee Wee a pin in about twenty seconds.

Johnny is taken out on a stretcher.

Here’s the Cat with Miss Jones for a chat. Cat hates Madden (join the club) but wants to dance. They both dance but Cat says he isn’t out here to dance. Instead he wants to beat up Mike Sanders because there isn’t room for two commissioners. Sanders comes out and says he doesn’t have time tonight but he’ll beat Cat up at Halloween Havoc. Cue Kronik to go after Cat (who makes drug references) but Goldberg comes to the ring and says bring it. Sanders holds Kronik back and Kronik accuses Goldberg of believing their own hype. A lot of trash talk keeps this going for a bit but nothing happens.

WCW World Title: Shane Douglas vs. Booker T.

Scott Steiner is on commentary. I’m so glad that WCW gave this the proper fifteen minutes of build that it deserved. The bell rings and we cut to Konnan telling Tygress to wait on him because he has something to do. Stevie talks about having his money on Booker in Vegas as Booker kicks Shane in the face. Torrie trips Booker but we cut to the fans for no logical reason. Couldn’t we cut to Torrie instead?

They fight to the floor with Shane getting the better of it, followed by a top rope clothesline for two. We hit the chinlock as Steiner wants to know why Shane isn’t going after the knee. Fair point but then again Steiner is a known genius. The reverse Hennig neck snap gets two on the champ but Steiner is telling Shane to go after the knee. If the knee is already bad, wouldn’t it be better for Steiner to have two injured body parts?

Booker fights out of a neck crank with a spinebuster and Steiner is suddenly the best analyst in the company. As in he’s calling moves and explaining what Shane should be doing to stay on the injuries. Torrie puts a chain on Shane’s hand but Kidman runs out for a save. That brings Steiner out of the chair to attack Kidman so here’s Konnan to jump Steiner. Now Jarrett comes out to attack Konnan, leaving Booker to Bookend Shane to retain the title.

Rating: D+. The neck stuff was fine and Steiner was entertaining in a very different way than usual but the five people interfering continues to make you want to scream SETTLE DOWN ALREADY. I’m still not sure why Shane got a title shot in the first place other than saying he wanted one but stranger things have happened in WCW.

Post break, Midajah yells at Kidman in Spanish and Steiner wants to fight Kidman tonight.

David Flair vs. Goldberg

This is Sanders’ brilliant idea because when you think about a way to get rid of Goldberg, you think of David Flair. Before the match, here’s Ric Flair to do commentary. Goldberg doesn’t want to fight David so he shoves David away, followed by the spear and Jackhammer for the pin in about a minute.

Ric stares at Goldberg before checking on David.

Kidman says he’s as tight with the Filthy Animals as Pamela is in her top. He’s ready for Steiner tonight. Konnan doesn’t like Scott either.

Scott Steiner vs. Kidman

Before the match, Steiner does a profanity laced version of AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE before beating up a fan. Steiner throws Kidman around to start and tries a powerbomb but thankfully some things are sacred and Kidman faceplants him. That’s about it for Kidman though as Steiner gives him the super Angle Slam, followed by the Recliner to end the squash.

Preview of a profile on Goldberg airing on CNN.

Konnan vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett interrupts Konnan as he allows Tygress to feel his hat but the rolling clothesline drops Jeff to the floor. Konnan has a chair knocked out of his hands and Jeff blasts him instead, allowing them to head back inside. A faceplant drops Jeff and it’s time for a Bronco Buster until Shane Douglas comes out to grab Tygress. Torrie goes after her as well, allowing Jeff to bring in the guitar, which hits Tygress by mistake. The Stroke puts Konnan away in a hurry.

Jarrett puts Konnan in the Scorpion.

Earlier this week, Kevin Nash had his own beer made. Ok then.

Kevin Nash vs. Sting

Lumberjack match with almost everyone we’ve seen tonight and a few others around the ring. Nash, in theory still hung over, goes right for Sting to start and fires off the knees in the corner. Sting knocks him to the floor for a beating by the Misfits and it’s time to work on Nash’s knee. The Scorpion is on in a hurry but the Thrillers helps pull Nash to the ropes. Back in and the Stinger Splash is broken up with a raised boot and Nash takes over again. Snake Eyes sets up a neck crank as I wouldn’t mind if they got to the brawl instead of going through the motions like this.

Steiner and Booker get in a fight while Nash cranks on Sting’s neck as everyone fights on the floor, setting off a GOLDBERG chant. Sting fights back with a bunch of clotheslines but the referee gets bumped on a Stinger Splash attempt. Cue Jeff with a guitar to knock Sting cold though and give Nash the pin.

Rating: D. What else were you expecting here? Lumberjack matches almost always go this way and there’s almost no way around it. Jarrett just hitting him with the guitar for the win was probably better than having whatever other nonsense they might have gone with here. At least the hung over stuff didn’t amount to anything, which is definitely the best for everyone involved.

Nash pulls down the straps and Tony freaks out but nothing happens to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. The overbooking has brought the show back down to normal (well normal by WCW 2000 standards) and it’s still just as annoying. You had all of the screwy endings and the far too short matches because everything had to be packed in to a single show. There’s really no reason why a three hour Raw has fewer matches than a two hour episode of Nitro. On top of that, aside from the two main events, WCW has done a horrible job of setting up the pay per view. I have almost no idea what the other matches are and the limited build we’ve gotten goes nowhere. Bad show again and for all the worst reasons.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: October 11, 2000
Location: Entertainment Centre, Brisbane, Australia
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray

We’re still down in Australia for a show that was taped right after Nitro. Monday’s show was an improvement but it’s hard to say how well that’s going to carry over because this company has the consistency of a broken roller coaster. Halloween Havoc is in a few weeks and most of the card is already set though so let’s get to it.

Scott Steiner and Jeff Jarrett yell at Shawn Stasiak, telling him to tell Sanders that Steiner wants Booker tonight. Of all the people you could tell this to, you pick Shawn Stasiak?

Shane Douglas/Lance Storm vs. Konnan/General Rection

Fallout from the Down Underwear match on Monday. Before the match, Douglas and Torrie rip on the Australians for being wannabe Americans. O Canada is interrupted by the Misfits theme, which is quite the downgrade. The good guys rush the ring and clean house before we get going. Douglas and Konnan slug it out in the corner to start but Storm sneaks in with a blind tag, setting up a springboard cross body to drop Konnan in a nice move.

The heels take turns on Konnan with Shane nailing a nice basement dropkick. You would have thought Storm would use that spot. Gunns offers a quick trip though and a double clothesline puts Storm and Konnan down. We get a good looking catfight as Rection comes in off the hot tag. Rection’s top rope elbow gets two on Storm with Shane using a reverse Hennig necksnap for the save. Cue Kidman for a Kid Crusher to Shane, setting up No Laughing Matter for the pin.

Rating: C. Storyline advancement, Kidman, a three way catfight and some good looking stuff from Storm and Douglas. What more can you ask for from a short tag match between two midcard storylines? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think WCW was actually being booked somewhat well.

Mike Sanders is singing Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport (obviously an Outback Jack fan) when Stasiak comes in to explain Steiner’s demands. Booker gets a non-title match tonight (not necessarily against Steiner) and a quick argument breaks out over a stuffed kangaroo.

Here’s the Cat to talk to Australian martial arts champion Sam Greco. Sam admits that most people don’t know who he is but he’ll fight anyone that WCW puts in front of him. Cue the Thrillers, with Sanders saying Cat can’t hire anyone. Cat: “I hired your mom last night.” Sanders is annoyed so Cat gives him Stevie Ray tonight, which forces him to make Cat vs. Kevin Nash. We’re still not done yet though as Cat changes the match to Sanders vs. Sting. Greco kicks Sanders down and that’s supposed to be his big introduction. Tank Abbott he is not.

Jindrak and O’Haire don’t have much to say to Sanders.

Tag Team Titles: Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak vs. Lieutenant Loco/Corporal Cajun

Jindrak and O’Haire are defending and start beating up the much smaller guys in a hurry. Loco is thrown across the ring and clotheslined down. The Misfits come right back with DDT’s, only to have Sean plant Loco with a tilt-a-whirl slam. The hurricanrana into the Seanton gets two with Chavo making the save, setting up a Frog splash for two on Sean. Leroux grabs a hurricanrana of his own for the very quick pin on Jindrak for the titles in a big surprise.

Rating: C. They kept this one moving fast in the smartest move of the night as Chavo and Leroux are only so interesting even when they’re at their highest speed. O’Haire and Jindrak are a good, young team and it’s really no surprise that they lose in a nothing match like this to a low level team.

Not so fast though as Sanders comes out and says the rematch is RIGHT NOW.

Tag Team Titles: Lieutenant Loco/Corporal Cajun vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

A quick double rollup gets two on the new champs and Sean superkicks Chavo. Lash dives back in with a high cross body for two, followed by a botched sunset flip for the same. All four stay in the ring and we get an awkward sequence where Sean brings in a belt but watches Jindrak get sunset flipped again for two more before hitting Lash in the head to turn a hurricanrana into a powerbomb. That’s still not it though as Chavo makes the save but gets knocked out, setting up the Seanton for the pin to give the Thrillers the titles back. Too short to rate but as usual the title change doesn’t mean much.

AWOL comes out to fight the champs.

Elix Skipper brags about being an Olympian and wants Kidman later tonight.

Kronik vs. Booker T.

Non-title. Before the match Booker doe some good sucking up to the fans. Well what else is a face champion supposed to do? The beatdown is on in a hurry with Kronik beating Booker down like he’s any given jobber. It’ snot like titles mean anything anyway right? The full nelson slam looks to set up High Times but here’s Goldberg through the crowd to spear Clark. Adams almost gets a full nelson slam on Goldberg but eats a superkick from Booker as the match is thrown out. Well that was pointless.

Chuck Palumbo is on the phone with someone who might be his mom and asks for advice against Goldberg.

Johnny the Bull tells an arriving Nash that Sanders is having problems but Nash doesn’t seem worried.

Kidman vs. Elix Skipper

This could be fun and Duggan is with Skipper. Kidman pounds away to start and dives onto Duggan with a nice plancha. Back in and Kidman misses a quick splash, allowing Skipper to stomp away. We get some CANADA SUCKS chants as Skipper misses a top rope elbow (drawing a Macho Man reference from Madden).

The Bodog gets two for Kidman and a quick BK Bomb gets the same. Kidman gets crotched and Skipper rope walks into a hurricanrana for a cool looking yet mostly screwed up spot. Not that it matters as Duggan gets in a board shot, setting up the Play of the Week (Wasn’t it Play of the Day last time?) for the pin.

Rating: C-. I was expecting more here but they’re doing a good job of building Skipper up as a player in the division. This makes him 1-1 against Mysterio and Kidman which is a lot better than a lot of people do. Just like so many cares before him though, it’s likely that he winds up doing nothing because the Cruiserweight Title is stuck in an angle instead of a feud but at least he isn’t being wasted.

Palumbo confirms that he was indeed talking to his mom but lets it slip that she told him to run. WHY ARE YOU TREATING THE THRILLERS LIKE WORTHLESS COWARDS??? WCW spent all this time and effort to bring these guys up (years after they should have) and it’s another excuse to waste them while making the old guys look strong. Yeah they’ve gotten the midcard titles that almost everyone has won over the years and haven’t done anything for anyone but since it’s WCW they do the same things over and over and over again and then wonder why it doesn’t go anywhere.

It’s time for an Australian Lava Lamp Lounge because this gimmick WILL get over no matter how dead it is. At least the set is a bit more festive this week with the Australian décor. Tonight’s guests are Kwee Wee (not Kiwi Mike, though it would be easier to type) and Paisley and Mike gets right to hitting on her. Kwee Wee talks about training with the Thrillers and yells at Mike for the Paisley stuff, only to have the Thrillers and Harris Brothers come out for the weekly attack. Another week with the same stuff because WCW wants to make Mike Awesome look as stupid and worthless as possible.

Sanders tells Nash about his match with Sting tonight. So Nash wasn’t watching the show either?

Goldberg vs. Chuck Palumbo

After the long entrance, Palumbo (looking very serious in yellow) tries a cheap shot with as much success as you would expect. Stasiak gets in a shot from the apron but Goldberg no sells a top rope shoulder. A spear drops both guys and Goldberg Jackhammers both of them for back to back pins, making the new streak 7-0. To be fair they had to do something to make this new one get higher in a hurry and this is as good as they can get.

Halloween Havoc video.

Sting vs. Mike Sanders

Non-title of course. Jarrett comes out dressed as Surfer Sting (again to Metallica) and points the bat at Sanders. Jeff talks about having no heart anymore and lays down, drawing out the real Sting to clean house. A Stinger Splash misses though and Sanders gets in a few bat shots followed by a dancing DiBiase falling punch. We hit a cobra clutch of all things until Sting makes the obvious comeback with three Stinger Splashes and a Death Drop for the easy pin. Good thing those baseball bat shots didn’t have too much effect.

Post break Sanders yells at the Thrillers, even though he should be yelling at Jarrett for bailing so early. Then again, heels aren’t supposed to make sense.

Harris Twins vs. Mike Awesome/Crowbar

Awesome gets beaten down by the Twins to start as the referee continues to not care about doing his job. Crowbar dropkicks both Twins out to the floor and the thrown together 70s team (the fact that Crowbar was one of the roster’s hidden gems for so long and gets this as a reward sums up a lot of WCW’s problems) getting the better of it early on.

Crowbar tries to speed things up a bit too much though until he charges into a Rock Bottom as everything breaks down. A nice wheelbarrow suplex (always liked that move) drops Ron but it’s already table time. I’m not sure if I’d rather have a table involved or watch the Harris Brothers try to have a regular match. The table is set in the corner but Awesome counters a powerbomb with a backdrop to drive Ron through for the pin.

Rating: C-. The action was faster paced here but the important thing is the Twins losing. I know it isn’t going to mean anything long term but at least a team of two talented guys who work hard got a win over one of the least interesting acts in the company. Maybe that’s just dumb luck or maybe it’s Russo being gone. Either way, at least it was the right call.

Rey Mysterio vs. Scott Steiner

We get a few rhymes from Steiner about how awesome he is with the ladies. For some reason Stevie says that watching BET at night doesn’t mean you’re going to win. Tony: “Tygress, you got it girl.” Steiner knees Rey in the ribs to start and we’re already in squash mode. If it’s good enough for the Jung Dragons, squashing Rey isn’t much of a stretch of course. I mean, all cruiserweights are the same right?

Rey tries to speed things up but gets his head taken off by a clothesline. Steiner throws him over the top but Rey hangs on, allowing him to drop a springboard legdrop to break up the pushups. A hurricanrana staggers Steiner again….and he throws Rey down with a suplex to take over again. Something like an Angle Slam from the middle rope sets up the Recliner to end this squash.

Rating: D. I get the idea here but there has to be someone besides Mysterio that you could put into this spot. Normally this should have been Lash Leroux but for some reason we already saw him twice tonight. You can’t find anyone else other than the most successful cruiserweight the company has ever had to take this beating? No one at all? With the roster WCW had they didn’t have three schnooks to put out there and get squashed in a handicap match?

Kevin Nash vs. The Cat

Oh wait as here’s Mike Sanders because we haven’t seen him enough. Stevie: “When is he going to defend that belt?” Tony announcers Nitro and Thunder in England next month but Stevie doesn’t want to go. Did he turn heel and I missed it? Sanders sits in on commentary in a holdover Russo trope but pops up to the apron for an early distraction. You know, because Kevin Nash needs help against The Cat.

Nash does his usual slow offense in the corner while throwing in some trash talk. Now it’s Nash offering a test of strength but getting kicked in the ribs for a surprise knockdown. I’m stunned Nash actually bumped for that. Another karate shot stuns Nash but he kicks Cat in the face. There go the straps but Sanders comes in with a chair to knock Cat out for absolutely no apparent reason.

Booker comes out to save Cat from a powerbomb through the chair. This brings out Steiner which brings out Sting which brings out Jarrett. The heels dominate until Goldberg comes out, only to have Kronik run in and give Goldberg High Times to end the show. One note here: for the last few weeks they’ve had a Halloween Havoc countdown come on screen a few times a show. It’s a good idea to keep fans thinking about this but also letting them know that they’re running out of time to order the show. I wish more companies would do this today as it can’t take more than a few buttons to get it on screen.

Overall Rating: D+. Again, better show here as the problems that have been plaguing the shows are still there but they’re toned way down. They need to cut out the dueling authority figures nonsense and stop with the quick title changes but the show doesn’t feel as chaotic. It doesn’t make me want to throw the remote at the screen anymore and is now just more of a show with a lot of problems instead of a show flying off a cliff. That’s something, right?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #261
Date: October 9, 2000
Location: Brisbane Entertainment Centre, Brisbane, Australia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Stevie Ray

Now this should be an interesting show as WCW is now taking their unique brand of horrible to a new country. This is the first of four straight shows in Australia but more interesting than that is the fact that it’s the first show without Vince Russo around. The concussions had caused him to be confined to his home but he would send in his stories. It should be interesting to see how the show goes without him actually in the arena though. Let’s get to it.

Jeff Jarrett arrives in Surfer Sting attire.

Opening sequence.

It’s so strange to see a full arena at Nitro.

Elix Skipper vs. Rey Mysterio

Skipper now has his own theme song which I actually have on my iPod to this day. The fans are VERY excited to see Tygress, who is in Rey’s corner. The ring bell sounds very different here which isn’t something you expect to be all that different in a different country. Feeling out process to start with Elix getting tired of the early wrestling and knocking Rey in the mouth.

A big flip dive over the top takes Mysterio down again but a slingshot…..something only hits the mat. Rey shows he’s still got the flying abilities with a top rope Fameasser (one of the few moves that both Mysterio and Cena do), followed by a springboard moonsault for two. For some reason Skipper tries to walk the ropes (ala Undertaker) into a hurricanrana and the botch is nothing short of spectacular.

Instead he settles for a chinlock for a bit until Rey hits a surprisingly strong clothesline. It helps when your opponent isn’t the biggest guy in the world but you still don’t see that from Rey too often. A good looking springboard flip dive to the floor takes Skipper down again. Back in and Rey casually ducks Skipper’s springboard crossbody and scores with the Bronco Buster (complete with rhythmic squeaks from Tygress). Cue Torrie to go after Tygress and the distraction sets up the Play of the Week (formerly the Overdrive) to give Skipper the upset pin.

Rating: C+. This worked well here and there was an actual story instead of just doing moves to each other. The idea that both guys could fly but Skipper didn’t have the experience to tone things down just a bit to make them work is actually interesting and gives respect to Rey at the same time for being able to hold up against an incredible athlete like Skipper but being smart at the same time. Really nice surprise here.

The Boogie Knights try to borrow Torrie for the night but get turned down. It’s amazing how natural she looks after a catfight. Not a hair out of place and perfect makeup a minute after that brawl really is amazing.

David Flair arrives in a blood mobile.

Here are the Natural Born Thrillers without Reno for some reason. Sanders gets right to the point and says he’s the new WCW Commissioner, which should probably require a bigger explanation than it’s receiving here. Tonight we’re getting a Down Underwear match between Torrie Wilson and Tygress, which is of course a Bra and Panties match. Sanders brings up Russo and the fans seem to hate him all over the world.

Before Sanders can get to Goldberg, here’s the Cat to cut him off. A brawl is teased but Sanders is smart enough to hide behind the Thrillers. It’s true that Russo put Sanders inside so Cat wants to work together. Why he would want to do that after it’s already established that the Commissioner was above Russo isn’t clear but I’d rather not hear the explanation. Cat wants to work with Sanders to make this a party and he’s got some friends who want to join him. This brings out the Misfits in Action and it’s time for a dance off, only to have Cat and company clean house.

Stacy Keibler, now showing a bit, arrives.

Jarrett introduces himself to catering but says it’s SHOWTIME.

Tag Team Titles: Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak vs. Boogie Knights

Disco and Wright are challenging. Jindrak works on Alex’s arm to start as Tony hypes up Halloween Havoc. A nice tilt-a-whirl slam drops Wright but Disco gets in a Duck shot (Madden: “That duck’s dynamite!”) to take over. Disco comes in with a middle rope elbow for two but it’s quickly off to Sean to put us back to even. O’Haire makes Disco look tiny and the right hands only hit air.

Instead the champs LAUNCH Disco across the ring but Wright crotches Sean to break up the Seanton Bomb. A Russian legsweep/missile dropkick combination drops Jindrak but the champs come right back with a double kick for two. O’Haire actually throws something like a superkick towards Mark so Jindrak can tag his boot. I’ve never seen that before but it’s kind of brilliant.

Wright rolls around and makes the hot tag to Disco (who is an Inferno remember) and house is cleaned. Tony: “I can’t believe it! Disco is looking great!” Everything breaks down and the referee gets bumped. A Chartbuster drops Mark for the pin and the titles but Sanders comes out to say that doesn’t count because of the referee. The rest of the Thrillers come in for the DQ anyway.

Rating: C. Oh yeah things are already looking a lot better around here. Well as far as the wrestling goes at least as the booking really isn’t working. O’Haire and Jindrak are the champions but they’re looking worse and worse every single week as they couldn’t even beat the Boogie Knights without help. The action was actually good here though as the Thrillers can go but they need to be treated as something serious instead of goons who keep surviving.

Actually scratch that DQ as Sanders says restart the match so the champs can get an easy pin.

Goldberg arrives.

Some WCW women went to play with koalas.

Jarrett says buy the Sting MasterCard even though he has no heart.

Mark Madden calls out Stacy Keibler to talk about the pregnancy. Madden gets right to the point and asks who the father is. Stacy correctly says it’s none of our business but David Flair needs to drop all this stuff. If David has to blame someone, blame her because she made a mistake. She still loves David though but he wants her to cut this out. Madden asks if Stacy won’t say because she can’t remember who the father was. Or maybe she was drunk or has been with so many men that it could be anyone.

Stacy tries to storm off but here’s David to cut her off. David asks what she likes about Buff but Stacy says that was innocent flirting. That’s not good enough as David wants a blood test right now but That 70s Crowbar comes out before he can put a needle in her. Crowbar offers to go have a talk with him in the back but David beats him down instead. What does it say about your career when you’re ripping off a bad character AND getting beaten down by Mike Awesome? Even Zack Ryder thinks you’ve been buried at that point. Mike Awesome comes out to make the save.

Jarrett says he has a treat for all his Little Stingers and it’s only going to cost them $15 a pop. I’m still not sure why these two are feuding but as usual the story is being done way harder than it needs to be when they should just be having a good old fashioned fifteen minute match.

Tygress vs. Torrie Wilson

Bra and Panties match but both of them start in stereotypical Australian clothes. It’s a brawl to start (well as brawling as they’re going to get) as Madden says he’d get in Torrie’s pouch. If she was a kangaroo that is. Tygress loses her top, Torrie loses her shorts and crawls into position for a Bronco Buster, followed by Tygress ripping off the top for the win. Nothing match here for the obvious purposes.

Post match Shane Douglas comes in to go after Tygress but Konnan makes the save, just like he did last time.

Sanders gives Vito a match for later tonight.

Here’s Jarrett to Sting’s Metallica music while still in the Surfer Sting gear. Jarrett forces Dave Penzer to introduce Sting. The ring is full of autograph tables and merchandise. Jarrett walks around and says that Sting will be retiring after losing at Halloween Havoc. “Sting” may have lost his smile but he can still sign autographs for $15 each. Cue the real Sting from the ceiling but Jeff poses at him anyway meaning house is quickly cleaned.

They fight over by the announcers’ table but Jeff comes back and gives Sting a Stinger Splash. A suplex puts Sting through the table but he pops back up and punches in the corner (likely because it was just a suplex), followed by the Deathlock. Security breaks it up to end the best Nitro segment in months. Jarrett was doing a great Sting impression and Sting coming out was the right way to go with this. I actually want to see them fight at Halloween Havoc now and that’s exactly what they needed to do.

Steiner says he’ll take care of Jarrett.

Mike Sanders/Kevin Nash vs. Booker T./The Cat

Booker and Mike get things going with Sanders getting kicked in the face. It’s off to Cat for more kicks, a crotch chop, and a shot to the face. Nash hits Cat in the back from the apron and Mike takes over with a Ted DiBiase falling punch. The tag off to Nash gets a big pop and it’s time for the slow, plodding heel offense. Cat gets in a double clothesline and makes the hot tag off to Booker. Sanders gets beaten down and Booker loads up the Bookend, only to bring in Cat for the Feliner and the pin.

Rating: D. This may not have been the best match in the world but at least they had a match that was built up and followed a formula to a clean ending. I’ll take something like this over whatever mess Russo usually runs, which would likely have included multiple run-ins, interference and a heel turn instead of just a four minute match which was fine enough.

Cat goes to talk to some karate fighter as Scott Steiner comes in to clean house. Steiner promises to end Booker at Halloween Havoc but wants to fight Sting tonight.

David Flair wants Awesome in a hardcore match.

Vito has Goldberg tonight but they don’t have any personal issues.

Goldberg vs. Big Vito

The Mafia Kick is no sold and the two moves continue the new Streak.

Goldberg leaves and here’s Johnny the Bull to stomp on Vito, which draws Goldberg back for the save. A suplex and Jackhammer apparently counts as a win to make Goldberg 5-0. Kronik comes out for the staredown.

A car arrives.

Mike Awesome vs. David Flair

Hardcore. Mike clotheslines him down and brings in the weapons as neither guy is in wrestling gear. That’s too passe for them you see. David gets in some trashcan shots but Awesome shrugs them off and keeps up the beating. A big chair shot to the head drops David as we hear about Sonny Bono and Bob Dylan. Back in and some chops have no effect on Awesome, setting up the splash and powerbomb to put David away with ease.

Rating: D. No reason for this to be hardcore but well done on making sure that the Hardcore Champion isn’t even on the show while someone else wins a hardcore squash. If nothing else at least there was a coherent story to get to this match and someone won it without any interference or some story altering turn. That alone is a step in the right direction.

Ric Flair got out of the car and comes to the ring as Awesome loads up a table for David. Awesome is ready to powerbomb him but Ric calls him off. David still wants nothing to do with him.

Major Gunns asks Kwee Wee for a new outfit because Kwee Wee is still the wardrobe guy. So he’s just a part time wrestler? Lance Storm drags her off.

US Title: Lance Storm vs. Konnan

Storm is defending and doesn’t like Australian fans either. Apparently there’s something wrong with the top rope which is a reference to something about the gymnastics setup being off at the 2000 Olympics. Well a then topical joke is better than nothing. Madden: “Major Gunns is such a tramp they named the trampoline after her.” Konnan spins out of a wristlock to start as everyone else is sent to the back.

Storm gets in a few dropkicks to take over and drops him with a backbreaker for two. A small package gets a very close two for Konnan and he makes his comeback with the usual, including the facejam. Cue Shane Douglas to hit Konnan in the back with a chain (and the referee LOOKS RIGHT AT HIM) to set up a northern lights suplex for two. The Maple Leaf retains Storm’s title a few seconds later. That’s quite the odd finish as the interference really should have set up the finish.

Rating: D+. The interference didn’t need to happen but at least they tied something together to the pay per view. Storm was holding this together well enough and the match wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Canada vs. Animals didn’t break out here and it’s a lot better to just let it be a regular match instead of part of some big stable war.

Sting vs. Scott Steiner

Jeff Jarrett comes out and let’s make him guest referee due to reasons. Steiner (in the protective mask once again) can’t get in a cheap shot to start and Sting stomps in the corner until a single forearm to the back drops the painted one. They head outside for a bit until Sting heads back inside to beat up the referee. Madden: “YOU CAN’T CRUSH THE REFEREE’S GONADS LIKE THAT!” Jeff whips Sting into a belly to belly for a fast two and we hit the Tree of Woe so Steiner can choke away. A regular referee comes in and eats a forearm and it’s time to keep up the beating.

Sting tries to send Scott into the buckle but doesn’t notice THE BIG PLASTIC MASK and earns himself a low blow. Scott charges into a boot in the corner but Jeff gets in the way of the Stinger Splash. The heels start working together and beat on Sting with a hard whip sending him into the steps. Cue the Cat and Booker T. in a referee shirt (Stevie: “He’s got a referee shirt on! And some very nice slacks!”) and Steiner eats a superkick, setting up the Death Drop for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your usual insane main event with almost no coherence but I do like that they didn’t even bother trying to have a wrestling match for the most part. However, was there ANY reason to have Steiner take the loss here? You have Sting getting ready for the match with Jarrett so wouldn’t it make sense to have him fight but then get screwed over so you can show that Sting has heart, only to have Jeff say he doesn’t? Either way, they did what they could here but it was an angle instead of a match.

Overall Rating: D. That’s a different kind of D than most of the other shows as this one was at least coherent instead of some kind of huge mess that parodied wrestling on a weekly basis. The show itself wasn’t anything worth seeing but at least there wasn’t anything horrible here. The bigger crowd and the lack of Russo running around made this show so much easier to sit through. It still needs a lot of work but it’s FAR better than most of the nonsense I’ve been sitting through with WCW lately.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Thunder
Date: October 4, 2000
Location: Long Beach Arena, Long Beach, California
Attendance: 2,666
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone

It’s the last stateside show for two weeks before they’re off to Australia to see if Russo’s brilliance can alienate another culture. Now that being said, Russo’s influence is certainly waning as his injuries are threatening to keep him off television, as well as away from the office to keep his stories going. Granted I’m not sure how strong the creative will be based on whoever WCW gets to run the sinking ship. Let’s get to it.

This show is dedicated to Klondike Bill, a longtime production boss for WCW who passed away.

Shane Douglas tried to get on Mike Sanders’ good side earlier and since they’re both heels (and kind of dumb), it worked.

Here’s Jeff Jarrett to open things up. He immediately gets to the point by insulting Sting, who apparently has lost his heart for the business and is a ghost of his former self. Sting may have been the man in WCW for the last 40 years but now it’s Jeff’s world. They’ll be fighting at Halloween Havoc….and here’s Beetlejuice. Yeah Beetlejuice, the small guy from the Howard Stern Show who has now been part of the swimsuit contest and changing the WCW World Title. That’s the logical progression you see.

Beetlejuice threatens to smoke Jarrett, who throws some mock punches. We cut to the back to see Booker getting knocked out by Steiner, followed by Sting running out for a fight with Jarrett. As they’re fighting, a fake Sting comes out of the crowd to lay out Sting with a pipe. That would be….Shane Douglas, who is taken away as Jarrett beats up Beetlejuice.

Booker is being taken away in an ambulance. No wonder WCW went out of business. Those ambulance bills probably cost more than Hogan.

Steiner keeps breaking stuff with the pipe.

Halloween Havoc video.

Sgt. AWOL vs. Jim Duggan

If this is the point you’ve reached in your feud, it might be time to pull the plug. Before the match, Duggan complains about the American flag having too many stars because there’s no unity. You can tell Duggan doesn’t want to be cutting this promo so AWOL (who sounds A LOT like Shane Douglas) interrupts him to get things going. It’s a brawl on the floor to start (dang I’m getting tired of having to write that on these shows) with Duggan getting the better of it and sending AWOL face first into the post.

They get back inside to keep slugging it out with AWOL taking over this time as the announcers talk about hockey. It’s time for the table but AWOL slams him into the announcers’ table instead. Back in and Duggan fights out of a chokeslam through the table, allowing Reno to sneak in with a kendo stick shot to give Duggan two. Back up and AWOL punches a chair into Reno’s face, allowing Duggan to slam AWOL through the table for the pin.

Rating: D-. This is where the relaxed rules get on my nerves. You can almost guarantee that whatever the main event tonight is going to be will have the same thing but I just watched it earlier in the show with two big lumbering power guys in a nothing match. Given where ECW was at this point, do you really want to be copying their business model?

Midajah is talking to Mike Sanders.

Sting is dedicated to WCW. That’s an understatement.

Here’s Mike Sanders for a chat. The Thrillers had a great night on Monday and won a bunch of titles with Sanders himself winning the Cruiserweight Titles on his own. It was all due to Russo of course, who is a complete genius. We see Luger sitting in the crowd again, which makes me wonder what the point was in having him do a match last week if he was just going to do the same thing he started the angle doing with no real explanation.

Sanders talks about Goldberg’s match at Halloween Havoc but doesn’t actually say who he’s fighting. Kronik comes out and teases High Times on Mike but lets him down gently. Sanders says these are two monsters to Goldberg’s one, which the announcers think means Goldberg vs. Kronik at the pay per view. Oh man you mean no Goldberg vs. Hard Work Bobby Walker? No buys.

Elix Skipper thinks he should get a rematch for the Cruiserweight Title.

Jung Dragons vs. Scott Steiner

Gah don’t they have some local jobbers to bring in instead? Like a young Samoa Joe or something? Stevie wants to kill Steiner for what he did to Booker. Yang’s martial arts and rapid fire punches have no effect to start as Scott clotheslines him down. A gorilla press sends Yang outside and a double team goes just as badly. All three get suplexed and something like a super Angle Slam makes things even worse. Leia Meow chokes Midajah as Scott Recliners Jamie and Kaz for the submission to complete the total squash.

Konnan is brought into Sanders’ office because he has immigration issues, meaning he’s not allowed to work tonight. Actually he isn’t allowed to leave this office because he’s a flight risk. Konnan says he’s an American citizen and can produce the paperwork he needs. That’s not good enough because he needs to have them on him at all times. Well that would be a very different story today.

Juvy and Rey love this best of five series and send Tygress off to get Konnan’s papers. Well at least he does carry them. She goes off right before Shane Douglas comes in to lay them out with a pipe and rant about Sting. That’s almost guaranteed to be the main event tonight.

After a break, Konnan checks on his downed buddies.

Mike Awesome talks to Crowbar about being a chick magnet. Crowbar is of course dressed like a pimp.

Video on Goldberg.

Stevie Ray is tired of all this Lex Luger stuff so he goes up to him for a little Suckas Gots To Know. Luger talks about watching all these no-names wrestle in his company, which brings him to General Rection. Last week Rection was just a prop and he’ll never be able to touch Luger. Cue Rection for a brawl which goes nowhere.

Kronik says they’re up for sale to the highest bidder. Ah yes the APA ripoff era.

Cruiserweight Title: Mike Sanders vs. Lance Storm

Storm is challenging. We get the full on Canadian national anthem, complete with the flag superimposed over Storm’s face, as this show continues to drag. Sanders charges to the ring and it’s on in a hurry. A dropkick puts Mike down early on but he comes back with a nice pumphandle suplex. Some suplexes get two for Storm but Reno pulls Sanders out to the floor for a save.

They fight to the apron with Storm DDTing Sanders as the Canadians and Thrillers fight on the floor. Storm takes Sanders back inside and puts on the Maple Leaf but Gunns rings the bell early for a distraction. Thankfully the camera was already on her and waiting for the plot device, making sure that nothing seemed realistic whatsoever. Storm yells at her but Rection comes out to throw Storm back inside for a rollup to retain Sanders’ title.

Rating: D+. So the Canadians are faces now? They’re certainly acting like faces who have been screwed out of titles and wrestle like good guys, but at the same time they’re holding Major Gunns, a face in theory, hostage. I know the theory is that everyone has shades of gray and not everyone is a clear face or heel but it’s really not making me interested. Instead it’s making me wonder what their motivation is because it doesn’t make sense from week to week.

It’s time for the sitdown interview with MIA. Rection gets annoyed at Tenay for not getting their names right before going on a rant about how there’s nothing good in sports entertainment. They’re only here because they love wrestling and do everything together, including sleep together. They all agree that they do everything together, which includes fighting Team Canada.

Apparently the Duggans and the Rections are friends and the General’s kids are asking why Uncle Jim did these things. There’s a lame comedy sketch to be made of Jim Duggan and General Rection having a barbecue together. They’ll be ready for Halloween Havoc. Tenay wasn’t a jerk here which is a very nice change of pace and hopefully a sign of things to come.

Tag Team Titles: Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak vs. Mike Awesome/Crowbar

Awesome and Crowbar are challenging with Crowbar declaring themselves two wild and crazy guys ala the Saturday Night Live sketch. Mike has to show him how to say it properly and they’re getting worse and worse with these ripoffs every week. Jindrak side slams Crowbar to start and brings in O’Haire who eats a nice dropkick. Awesome comes in to slap the champ in the face. So he’s a fat chick loving 70s guy who slaps people. This would be roughly six months after he debuted as a killer. The powers of Vince Russo everyone.

Mike remembers that he’s Mike Awesome and kicks O’Haire in the face before throwing him down with a German Suplex. Crowbar comes back in with a springboard splash before it’s back to Mark off a blind tag. The champs take over with some clotheslines and a double shoulderblock. They may not have the most in depth offenses but at least they look good doing the basics. Crowbar grabs a quick suplex but goes up top instead of tagging, allowing Jindrak to hit a hurricanrana, followed by a Seanton Bomb.

Everything breaks down and Awesome actually gets a tag (nice rules following for a change, though I guess the tagging isn’t included on the list of relaxed rules) and hits the Awesome Bomb and Awesome Splash for two on Mark. That’s enough wrestling though so here’s a table but Crowbar breaks up the double powerbomb with a double low blow to save his partner. Crowbar grabs a reverse DDT, only to get thrown through the table to retain the titles.

Rating: C+. There’s your match of the night as they made the thing work by just working hard out there. It’s always annoying to see someone like Russo come in and ruin everything by putting in so many stupid ideas that the wrestlers get bogged down. This however was more about four guys working to make the match work and it was entertaining stuff. Oh and a table just because.

Buff Bagwell arrives.

Clip of David Flair tormenting Buff on Monday before taking a Blockbuster.

Halloween Havoc video.

Here’s Buff to address the Stacy issues. Apparently Stacy, with her high Midi-chlorian count, got herself pregnant, because Buff always wears his stuff when he goes “there”. This brings out David Flair and a “doctor” (read as he’s wearing a white coat and has a stethoscope) to do a DNA test on Buff. Apparently the guy wants to give Buff a little prick, as in a blood sample, but the audio is censored anyway. Buff says he’s afraid of needles and then punches both guys out before leaving, telling David to figure this out. I think he just tried to Buff and you punched him in the face. That’s quite the mixed message.

Shane Douglas vs. Sting

You know, this actually sounds intriguing. I mean, not exactly in 2000 but a few years back this could have been something. Before the match, Shane talks about having a date with greatness and a job to do. Also, Torrie isn’t sure why this place smells so bad but thinks that everyone hates her because they’ll never be her. After a promise of something special for Shane back at the hotel, we’re ready to go. During Sting’s entrance, Tony starts hyping up the double Nitro/Thunder tapings, which should be some glorious disasters.

Sting sends Shane into the barricade to start as the announcers break the news of Booker vs. Steiner for the title at Halloween Havoc. The fight heads into the crowd to make sure we don’t need to see any real wrestling early on. They head back to ringside with Sting hitting Douglas in the back with a chair but Torrie offers a distraction to change things around.

We hit an abdominal stretch as the announcers talk about Torrie turning into a much more dangerous person on the outside. So she’s gone from a hot blonde there as eye candy to a hot blonde there as eye candy who trips people. That’s not quite a HHH and company level of Evolution. It’s more like that David Duchovny movie from 2001. Remember that? That’s how much Torrie has evolved.

Shane crotches Sting against the post and loads up a table in the corner as the announcers actually cover the relaxed rules over the last six months. My goodness this has been a long six months. Sting sends him through the table for a counter but Shane pulls out a chain to block the Stinger Splash. Konnan comes out to kidnap the highly evolved Torrie as Sting shrugs off FOUR CHAIN SHOTS TO THE HEAD. Instead it’s Jeff Jarrett coming in to knock Sting out with the guitar, setting up the Franchiser for the pin.

Rating: D. To recap: a breakaway guitar and a really bad looking jawbreaker knocked Sting cold but four punches to the head with a chain wrapped around the fist of a professional athlete who wanted to hurt Sting as badly as he could didn’t even knock him off his feet. I kind of liked Tony talking about the relaxed rules to make sure people knew what was going on. You know, the four new viewers WCW might have drawn that night in case they were too drunk to change the channel.

Overall Rating: D. You can kind of feel Russo’s influence waning a bit here. First and foremost, there were five matches on this show. Not eight, not ten, but five. Of those five, only one wasn’t long enough to rate and that was a squash. On top of that, a lot of the stories felt less complicated. Case in point: the stories were about the wrestlers, not the writer who is injecting himself into things because he feels like it. The show is still bad, but if you take away a lot of the insanity and the really stupid stuff, the wrestling will seem a lot better and can start to carry the show for a change.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Nitro #260
Date: October 2, 2000
Location: Cow Palace, San Francisco, California
Attendance: 2,666
Commentators: Mark Madden, Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone

Tonight is the night. After several months, if not years, of waiting we FINALLY get to see what the wrestling world has been waiting for: Mike Tenay is getting in the ring for a match. Yes indeed. Somehow, this is the point we’ve reached. We also might find out something about the fate of the World Title and Russo has a surprise for Goldberg on top of it, but Tenay is wrestling tonight. Let’s get to it.

On a side note, check out the attendance. Back in February 1998, the same arena did 12,620 for SuperBrawl VIII. Earlier in 2000, also at the Cow Palace, they drew 8,569 for SuperBrawl X. In six months they’ve lost about 6,000 fans and in two and a half years they’ve lost 10,000 fans. In two and a half years, 10,000 have decided that they don’t want to waste their money on WCW anymore.

That’s ignoring the fact that those were pay per views, meaning this show was likely cheaper. Also, less than 2,000 of these tickets were actually paid. If you want to see (arguably) the biggest reason why WCW died, there it is: people stopped coming to see it. If San Francisco, which wasn’t even a major city for them, has shed 10,000 paying fans in less than three years, how bad do you think it is around the country? On top of THAT, how bad do you think the arena is going to look with a minimum of 10,000 empty seats?

Here are the Filthy Animals with the Disqo Duck. After Konnan suggests that Disqo has been, ahem, enjoying one of the Duck’s holes, Konnan wants to hang the Duck above the ring and have a ladder match RIGHT NOW. Madden: “It’s duck season, not wabbit season.”

Konnan/Rey Mysterio vs. Boogie Knights

That would be Disqo/Alex Wright of course. The announcers sound terrified that they could possibly be called the Boogie Knights in a semi-funny bit. This is a ladder match with Wright springboarding in to take over, allowing Disqo to crush Konnan with the ladder in the corner. Rey comes in with a Thesz Press using the ladder and puts the Knights inside and underneath said ladder, setting up an Atomic Arabian Facebuster to crush both guys.

The double Nutcracker Suite keeps the Knights down and Rey flip dives over the top to take Alex out. A Last Dance allows Disqo to climb (Hudson: “A last chance for the duck snatch!”) but Rey takes him down with a sunset bomb. Konnan climbs up and gets the Duck for the win in less than five minutes.

Rating: D+. So the match is four and a half minutes, the Knights lose their first match, AND THEY WERE FIGHTING OVER A DUCK. What am I supposed to say to this? Madden making duck puns was the most entertaining thing in the match. As in him saying the Knights were “mallardjusted” and losing as a result. That’s your highlight here.

Post match the Knights beat the Animals down with the Duck.

David Flair brings in a man wearing a hood and bound by handcuffs. Tonight the man is going to confess, which presumably means he’s the father.

Russo, now out of his neck brace, says he’s not an athlete so he’s relinquishing the World Title. That means we’re getting a title match tonight between Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner for the vacant belt. As for Goldberg, he showed what a coward he was last week and he’s lucky that Russo didn’t file charges for assault. This brings Goldberg to the ring to call out Russo, who says he’s got plans. Hopefully those plans involve actually looking at the camera instead of being just a few inches off like he was in the promo.

Cue Russo in a Popemobile (with Borash driving) as Goldberg plows through security. Russo wants Goldberg to feel his pain so he’s got an idea. Starting tonight, Goldberg has to break his streak of 176-0 to get another shot at the World Title. If he loses once, he’s out of WCW. Goldberg goes after Borash and finds the keys but cue Meng to attack Goldberg with the Death Grip. Russo announces Meng as Goldberg’s first opponent for later tonight.

Now this is an idea I can get behind a bit more than most of Russo’s nonsense because there’s an actual plot. You can see where this should go over the next few months with a clear hero and villain. In other words, things are a bit calmer and in theory, Goldberg will get his hands on Russo at some point. Unfortunately that’s something so rare in WCW that it’s really hard to get behind it.

Russo says he’s leaving tonight so Mike Sanders is in charge. Sanders leaves the room and Russo tells Borash to keep an eye on Mike tonight.

Actor Chuck Zito is out for commentary.

Hardcore Title; Sgt. AWOL vs. Reno

The title is vacant coming in. AWOL knocks Reno out of the air with a trashcan to start and it’s already time for a chair. Reno comes back and goes after Zito for no apparent reason before pounding on AWOL even more. Cue Big Vito to cane Reno, allowing AWOL to chokeslam Reno through a table for the pin and the title.

Post match here’s Sanders to say that Reno is champion due to the interference.

The Cat has announced that Booker T. and Sting are the top two contenders instead of Jarrett and Steiner.

David has handcuffed the hooded guy to a dressing room rack. The hooded guy has some very large arms.

Here are Shane and Torrie to talk about being the real first couple of wrestling. Torrie wants to see Shane in action and it’s time for a match.

Shane Douglas vs. Mike Awesome

Shane takes him right into the corner to start but Mike takes the fight to the floor. Lex Luger, who wrestled a match on Thunder, is sitting in the crowd as a fan. Awesome loads up a table (three matches so far and we’ve had a ladder and back to back tables) and tries for the Awesome Bomb, only to have Torrie open her top to show off a skin colored swimsuit top. The distraction lets Shane grab the Franchiser for the pin.

Tygress goes after Torrie post match and Konnan has to run out to save her from Shane.

Jarrett and Steiner want Sanders to fix this thing with Booker and Sting. Nash and the Thrillers come in and don’t say much.

Nash tries to give Sanders a pep talk to go after the Cat.

Video on Meng.

Meng says (yes says) that Goldberg dies tonight. Apparently if he loses, he’s out of WCW too.

Sanders has fixed things somehow.

Meng vs. Goldberg

Slugout, Meng misses a kick, spear, Jackhammer, pin in less than 40 seconds.

Goldberg says that’s #1 but here’s Kronik to beat Goldberg down. High Times plants him and apparently some souls have been sold.

Sanders’ solution: Steiner/Sting vs. Booker/Jarrett with the winning team facing each other for the title later tonight.

David pours water on the hooded guy. You can see the same rope tattoo that Buff Bagwell has on his arm.

Jeff Jarrett/Booker T. vs. Sting/Scott Steiner

Sting and Jarrett get things going with Sting avoiding a monkey flip attempt and hitting Jeff in the chest. The running bulldog sets up the Stinger Splash but a poke to the eye breaks up the Scorpion. It’s off to Booker vs. Steiner with Scott bailing to the floor as we’re already stalling. Back in and Steiner pounds him down until Booker hits a quick kick to the face.

Now it’s off to Sting vs. Booker to make things a bit more interesting. Booker’s headlock is countered with a hiptoss before it’s Sting grabbing a headlock of his own. This is straight out of the totally average match they had at Spring Stampede but the announcers called it amazing anyway. Steiner low bridges Booker out to the floor, only to get beaten down by Jarrett as things get weird again.

Things settle back down with Steiner clotheslining Booker and dropping the elbow. Booker gets tied up in the Tree of Woe but pops out like a daisy from the snow, setting up a spinebuster on Scott. Jeff comes in to stay on Steiner (still odd to see), only to get caught in a spinning belly to belly. Scott rolls over and makes the hot tag off to Sting as everything breaks down. The announcers try to figure out who is legal as Booker ax kicks Steiner. The side kick hits the referee (because of course) and Jarrett guitars Sting for the pin and the title match later.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t the worst thing in the world as it had more time but the match was the usual brawling mess that they usually have. Above all else though, it’s clear that the wrestlers can go more than two minutes, which makes you wonder why they never do. My best guess: Vince Russo hates wrestling and has no idea how to make it actually work.

Cruiserweight Title: Elix Skipper vs. Mike Sanders

Skipper is ticked off that he has to face Sanders after Nash made fun of him last week (by calling Beetlejuice Elix). Skipper wants to fight Nash at the same time so here are all of the Thrillers. Nash has spent the last 45 minutes telling Beetlejuice that he’s sorry for calling him Skipper. We’re still not ready to go because Sanders has some rules. First of all, Team Canada is banned from ringside. Second, you have to win this match with a powerbomb. Third, let’s just make this a handicap match for fun.

Nash hits Elix in the head with a microphone and we’re ready to go. Sanders gets backdropped out of a powerbomb attempt and Elix kicks him in the head. Did I miss Team Canada turning face? Skipper covers for no count because there’s no powerbomb. That’s enough for Nash as he comes in and decks Skipper before talking about how these kids need to stop taking spots from the veterans.

As he’s talking, Elix goes to the top for a really long missile dropkick before hammering away on Nash. We look at Luger in the crowd again and miss Nash taking over again. Nash doesn’t like Skipper calling himself a Canadian so it’s a powerbomb to give Sanders the title. I’m not going to rate this due to how much of it was spent on miniature Nash promos but as usual it was an angle disguised as a match.

Goldberg tries to leave but Terry Taylor tells him that he has another match tonight.

Nash goes to take a shower when Team Canada jumps the Thrillers from behind. Lance Storm and Jim Duggan have the Thrillers cowering in all of ten seconds because that’s what WCW thinks of those guys.

Goldberg vs. Harris Brothers

A spear and a Jackhammer give Goldberg two pins in thirty seven seconds, as in two seconds faster than he beat Meng.

The Thrillers are begging Nash for help, even though the simple answer would seem to be BEAT THE CANADIANS TO A PULP BECAUSE THERE ARE ONLY TWO OF THEM RIGHT NOW.

The World Title match will now be a 49ers match. There will be a box at each corner with the belt in one of them. Whoever finds it is the champion. So the title is being decided in a scavenger hunt. Also note that the other three boxes will have weapons. Remember that.

David Flair brings out the guy in a hood. Flair slaps him in the head a few times and promises to embarrass him before removing the handcuffs. As expected, the guy immediately stands up and takes off the hood to reveal that it’s Buff Bagwell. The beating is quickly on and Buff scores with a Blockbuster before leaving.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarrett

The title is vacant coming in. Jarrett has no guitar and it’s actually really strange to not see it. They head outside to start with Jeff taking over. It’s already time for the first box and it’s…..a blowup doll. Yeah here we go. Booker comes back with a side slam and goes for another box which has a picture of Scott Hall. That’s actually used as a weapon as the picture is smashed over Jeff’s head, leaving him next to the doll.

Booker goes for a third box but Jeff sends him outside for a save. Jeff gets smart by hitting him in the head with a box but can’t get a piledriver. Instead Booker grabs one of his own onto the announcers’ table which doesn’t break in an always scary looking sight. That means it’s time to open the third box, which contains a glove.

There’s nothing special about the glove (it looks like one you might use while working in your yard) but the announcers declare it a coal miner’s glove, meaning it would be weighted. You know what? Well done by them for trying to make this even the slightest bit serious. Russo clearly isn’t going to give them anything to work with so it’s nice to see them trying to do it themselves.

Jeff takes Booker down and grabs the glove, though you have to wonder why he isn’t going after the only box left which must contain the title. A glove shot to the ribs allows Jarrett to pose before breaking another box over Booker’s head instead of going for the box. Booker pops back up for the save, only to eat a gloved shot to the jaw.

Jeff STILL won’t go up so it’s time for a sleeper. To be fair, Booker was up quickly after the shot to the jaw, which shows another problem of the match: the guys have been fighting over the glove like it means something but they can’t decide if it knocks the other guy out or not. Booker easily fights out of the sleeper and grabs one of his own, only to get suplexed down.

Back up and Jeff tries a top rope glove shot to the head but dives into a Bookend. Jeff makes another save but the Stroke is countered into the ax kick. ANOTHER save keeps us going and Booker’s ax kick hits the ropes. An electric chair out of the corner drops Booker but Jeff STILL WON’T CLIMB. Cue Beetlejuice of all people to hit Jeff low, allowing Booker to get the box down for the win and the title.

Rating: C. This one might require some explanation. Yeah the match sucked, yeah there was a severe lack of logic and yeah there were a ton of holes here, but I don’t put that on the wrestlers. It’s not their fault that they had fifteen minutes to spend on a ridiculous gimmick that the booker clearly wasn’t taking seriously. Maybe this could have gone better had five matches (out of an eight match show) combine to go ten minutes and they didn’t have to stall as long as they did before the ending involving a “celebrity”. This was horrible, but I’m not about to blame that on the guys who were asked to make something out of this disaster.

Post match Steiner comes out to hit Booker with a pipe and put Beetlejuice in the Recliner to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. So Goldberg runs through people to start a new segment (fine enough in theory but I have no reason to believe it works long term) and then the rest of the show is all downhill from there. There’s just way too much insanity at this point and it’s almost impossible to keep track of what’s going on out there. As usual you have gimmicks all over the place, illogical stories and ideas and the old guys being pushed instead of the new talent who could use a rub. The problem continues to be the same thing as always: Vince Russo doesn’t know how to book a wrestling show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Thunder
Date: September 27, 2000
Location: First Union Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

I know we’ve been living in a Vince Russo world but now we’re living in a world with Vince Russo as the WCW World Champion. Hopefully he isn’t on the show as much this week but you can feel the recaps coming from here. It’s probably too early to start setting up Halloween Havoc so tonight might be a stand alone show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Monday’s mess of a show.

Apparently it’s not clear who the champion is. Of course it’s not.

Disqo vs. Konnan

Before the match, Disqo fires the Filthy Animals and brags about having a new partner. They start very slowly and it’s pretty clear we’re waiting on the partner to come in. Konnan takes over but gets sent outside, allowing a bald Alex Wright to beat on him for a bit. Back in and the Chartbuster gives Disqo the easy pin.

Rey and Juvy run in for the save.

Mike Sanders takes over Cat’s office and has a note saying it’s ok. No word on who signed it but Sanders having a note to permit it is funny for some reason.

After a break, the Thrillers are all in Cat’s office as Sanders seems to be in charge tonight. His first decision: the Hardcore Title is vacated and WE’RE HAVING A TOURNAMENT!

Scott Steiner beats up security and the Disqo Duck. Of course you know this means war.

Here’s Jeff Jarrett for a chat. He gets right to the point: Monday proved that Sting just doesn’t have it anymore and is WAY past his prime. That brings him to Lex Luger (yes Luger, not the Total Package) who just happens to be in the crowd tonight. Luger is sorry for what he did on Monday because he shouldn’t have helped Russo. No word yet on why he helped Russo in the first place or why he regrets it but I guess that’s subtext. This brings out General Rection, who says he forgives Luger. Cue Lance Storm to go after Rection and it’s a brawl to set up a tag match (likely with a side of swerve) for later.

The announcers talk for a bit.

Post break, Luger says he doesn’t work here but he’ll be in a match tonight. That’s some fast clearance from the legal department.

The Thrillers are celebrating winning the Tag Team Titles. Leia Meow comes in and is basically ignored.

Juventud Guerrera wants a best of five series against Rey Mysterio for the #1 contendership. Didn’t he win that clean last week?

Hardcore Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Sgt. AWOL vs. Johnny the Bull

If we’re doing a four man tournament, couldn’t we just have a fourway and get it over with instead? It’s a stick battle to start because we didn’t get enough of it with Johnny vs. Vito on Monday. Johnny gets put in a garbage can and beaten on even more, which means it’s already table time. AWOL shrugs off a shot from Johnny and chokeslams him through the table for the fast win.

Post match Scott Steiner comes out to beat up AWOL (your potential future champion) before yelling about Goldberg. Stevie doesn’t like Booker being brought up so he shoves Steiner, earning himself a pipe shot to the back.

Stevie is being checked on by a trainer but wants Steiner tonight.

It’s time for the Lava Lamp Lounge with special guest Midajah. I’m sure there’s some kind of Russo issue as he books a talk show with only women where a man loses everything he has every single week. Awesome starts hitting on Midajah until he finds out that Steiner is still here (so even he doesn’t watch the show). There’s no monitor in the back though, meaning Steiner can’t watch.

That brings Awesome closer but also brings out Leia Meow for some reason, triggering a catfight. Awesome gets hit low and the set is destroyed again. Security breaks it up and Awesome is relieved that he still has his crystal ball…..which he immediately drops. It doesn’t break or anything but he does drop it.

Crowbar asks Jimmy Hart where Daffney is (when you need information, you go to Jimmy Hart). Apparently she and Ozzie are going to Australia before the rest of the company shows up there in a few weeks.

Steiner will fight Stevie later.

If you go to WCW.com, you can get an exclusive interview with Jim Duggan. It sounds better than This Week in WCW Motorsports.

Konnan has taken over for Stevie on commentary.

Tag Team Titles: Jim Duggan/Elix Skipper vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire

Jindrak and O’Haire are defending of course. Before the match, Duggan yells at the fans (and Gunns, who he tells to “shut up woman”) for having no honor. It’s a brawl to start as the fans chant for the champs by default. Skipper and Jindrak officially get things going with Mark ducking an early clothesline and bringing in O’Haire for a double throw. Back up and Elix tries a Matrix move but gets his head taken off by a clothesline.

Jindrak misses his no hands Lionsault and it’s off to Duggan for some big right hands. We hit the chinlock on Mark before Skipper comes in again for a chinlock of his own. Elix’s missile dropkick puts Mark down and Skipper lands on his feet. It’s really impressive until you remember that Koko B. Ware could do the same thing. Duggan chokes away and we’re in the third chinlock. Gunns breaks up a 2×4 shot though and crotches Elix on top, which draws out Sgt. AWOL to chokeslam Skipper down. Duggan goes after him in the aisle and a torture rack neckbreaker into the Seanton Bomb retains the title.

Rating: D. Those chinlocks in the middle took everything out of this match and made it dull stuff for the most part. Team Canada vs. the Thrillers gets to keep going as Russo continues his love of stable wars and likely tries to keep recreating DX vs. the Nation. I mean, the Canadians vs. the military guys is exactly the same as Rock vs. HHH right?

During the break, Sanders got annoyed at Elix Skipper for some reason. Here’s his reward.

Kronik vs. Elix Skipper

Skipper is smart enough to lay on the mat so Kronik walks away, only to try a dive onto Adams. So much for the Canadian educational system. A brief pummeling leads to the Meltdown, the full nelson slam and High Times to complete the squash. I have no idea what the point of this was but it ate up a few minutes.

Storm is annoyed that he wasn’t allowed to help Skipper. I really hope they’re not teasing a face turn for the Canadians.

Rey Mysterio vs. Juventud Guerrera

This is the second match in the best of five series with Guerrera up 1-0. Tygress is on commentary as the guys shake hands to start. Feeling out process to start as neither of them are sure of where to go. Rey takes over with an armdrag and a drop toehold into something like an STF. You don’t often see him do something like that, especially since I didn’t think he was tall enough to pull it off. La Majistral gets two for Rey and he monkey flips Juvy into the ropes, which sends Guerrera out to the floor. The referee drops out to check on him and the match is stopped due to an injury.

The worst part: the fans boo the match being stopped. This could be due to one of two things. First off could be that they’re annoyed that a match was stopped and have no sympathy for what seems like a legitimate injury. If so, screw them. On the other hand though, could it be that they’re so used to something screwy going on that they were annoyed at a swerve and just wanted to see what they thought was likely going to be the only good match of the show? If that’s the case, I can more than sympathize.

This Week in WCW Motorsports. Maybe I was wrong about that Duggan interview.

We look at Juvy hitting the ropes again and it really was a hard landing. A knee injury of some sort wouldn’t surprise me.

Hardcore Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Crowbar vs. Reno

Crowbar has taped up ribs so Reno goes right after them as he likely should. A trashcan lid to the ribs has Crowbar in trouble but he grabs a northern lights suplex for a quick two. Reno goes right back to the ribs so Crowbar pelts a trashcan at him. The ribs are good enough for Crowbar to score with the slingshot legdrop before hitting Reno with a baseball bat. I’m not sure what it says when the spot that made Sting the biggest star in the promotion is now just a transitional move.

They head over to the announcers’ table but Crowbar takes WAY too much time setting it up. Since Reno is kind of a goon though, Crowbar still puts him on top and hits a nice dive over the top to crush both Reno and the table again. The referee is counting both guys for whatever reason. If you’re counting, shouldn’t you be disqualifying them for all of the weapons? Even when they stop following the rules they don’t make sense. Reno throws him back in and grabs a t-bone suplex. Cue Johnny the Bull to trip Crowbar and set up the Roll of the Dice for the pin.

Rating: D+. This got some more time to make up for the previous match going short and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m still not wild on the Hardcore Title existing in the first place, but at the same time at least Crowbar is getting some TV time. He’s been one of the highlights of this year and it’s a shame that the Daffney storyline keeps getting put on hold.

Mike Awesome runs out for the save post match.

Mike Awesome says he can help Crowbar with his “chick problems”. Is that still a thing?

This week’s sitdown interview is with Vince Russo, complete with title belt and a neck brace. Apparently there’s some question as to who is champion but Russo says he’s the one here with the belt because he left the cage first. Russo isn’t an athlete or a sports entertainer but on Monday, he showed that at any given time, he can walk into a ring with anyone and walk out champion. However, he’s done competing and he’ll make his decision with the title on Monday.

Russo certainly isn’t afraid of Goldberg and he’ll deal with him on Monday too. As for Monday, Ric Flair better stay away or Russo will drop a bombshell on the entire Flair family. Ric knows what it is and he knows what’s best for him. Tenay asks about Luger but Russo had no idea about what happened. Russo doesn’t like these questions so Monday, Tenay is going to fight.

So yeah Russo is a top heel, the World Champion and getting to laugh at everyone. Now in a normal wrestling company, this would lead to people beating him up and humiliating him to get their revenge and send the fans home happy. However, we’re not in a normal wrestling company because we’re in Vince Russo’s WCW, where Russo gets to be champion, smirk, and probably sleep with Stacy Keibler. Now why would I want to watch something like that? I’m not sure of course, but I’m not as smart as Vince Russo.

Reno and the Thrillers celebrate.

Luger and Rection say they’ll win.

Scott Steiner vs. Stevie Ray

Stevie is in jeans. Steiner throws him to the floor to start and whips Stevie into the barricade before taking him back inside for the bicep elbow. A t-bone suplex and a backbreaker allow Steiner to do some push-ups as this is a squash so far. Stevie pops back up with a bicycle kick but has to catch Midajah’s cross body. Scott’s low blow and a pipe shot set up the Recliner for the submission to end this in a hurry.

General Rection/Lex Luger vs. Lance Storm/Jeff Jarrett

Non-sanctioned while still being on a WCW show and in a WCW ring. The Canadian national anthem goes on for a good while tonight, likely due to filling in more time. It’s a brawl to start and all four head outside until Luger brings Jarrett back inside for a gorilla press and some clotheslines.

We settle down to an actual match with Jarrett putting Luger in a sleeper until a quick suplex breaks it up. Off to Storm for some stomping before Jeff comes back in and promptly runs into a double clothesline. It’s off to Rection vs. Storm with the General taking over. Luger holds Lance down for the moonsault…..and turns on Rection because of course. A torture rack from Luger sets up the Maple Leaf from Storm for the submission.

Rating: D. Nothing main event here but at least we all get to fill in the SWERVE box on our WCW Bingo card. It really is kind of amazing that Luger is still the exact same boring guy that he was when we last saw him several months ago. You would think he would have some fire in there somewhere but he really is just a guy with muscles doing a move here and there.

Overall Rating: D. Another not great show here and unfortunately it’s turning into a modern day Smackdown where you get a token title match every now and then but the general message is “tune in Monday if you want to see anything happen.” The Russo stuff was nowhere near as bad this time but putting Tenay in the ring on Monday made my eyes roll. As I’ve mentioned a time or two: not everything has to be an angle and not everyone has to be a character. This wasn’t the worst show by any stretch but just nothing to see here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Nitro #259
Date: September 25, 2000
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden

We have arrived. If you’ve read this far, you probably know what’s coming and you know there’s no way around it. Tonight we’re in Vince Russo’s hometown and he’s in a cage match for the WCW World Title. This is a show I’ve been dreading for a long time, even though it was pretty obviously coming months ago. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video designed like an inspirational sports story on Vince Russo, who has climbed the ladder to earn his destiny here in his hometown. Ignore the lines about him “growing up and wanting to be WCW Champion” as he would have gotten the WWWF and the WCW World Title didn’t exist until he was nearly thirty years old.

Opening sequence.

Earlier today Russo and Jeremy Borash arrived with JB now acting as Russo’s biggest fan. Russo: “WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP???”

Big Vito vs. Johnny the Bull

The announcers swoon over Vito’s sister Maria, who is sitting in the front row. This is a stick ball bat vs. a kendo stick match because those are different things (as well as extra phallic objects along with the pipe and baseball bat). Vito slugs away in the corner but gets taken down by a stick shot to the ribs.

The fans chant for Vito (also from New York of course) as he’s down in the corner, followed by a spinwheel kick from Johnny. Naturally the announcers preview the swimsuit contest later as they’re not even hiding the cheap ratings ploy. Vito comes back with some stick shots of his own and kicks Johnny into the ropes, setting up even more stick shots.

That would be the kendo stick of course because Vito is just that versatile. Cue Reno with a kendo stick of his own to lay out Vito before tying him in the Tree of Woe for sticks to the ribs. Maria jumps the barricade to shield Vito….and THAT’S the DQ instead of Reno pounding on him for a minute and a half.

Rating: D. The only good thing here was the very pretty Maria but I have a feeling where this is going. You know she’s related to one of them and there’s some backstory here, which to be fair is a much more interesting and coherent story (in theory at least) than most of the goofy stuff we get around here.

According to the announcers, that was an I Quit match and Maria did the submitting for him. I’m so glad they got around to that after plugging MAJOR GUNNS IS GOING TO BE IN A BIKINI LATER!

The announcers preview the main event.

Earlier this week, David Flair hijacked a pay phone and it’s attached phone book to find the baby father’s address. Thank goodness they showed him finding the address at THIS phone booth because there’s no other phone booth on the planet.

Here are Jarrett/Steiner/Midajah with something to say. Jarrett promises us a new champion tonight because the hometown boy is going to bring home the gold. Steiner can’t believe that people boo him when they cheer for the New York sports teams. We get an insult to a New York Jet and some shots at Goldberg before Steiner introduces Russo for some sucking up to the fans.

Russo lists off some great names in New York sports and says his name is going up in the rafters next to theirs. However, now he lives in Atlanta, where they have NASCAR, the Georgia Bulldogs (having a bad year at this point), cousins breeding with cousins and John Rocker. Russo doesn’t care much for Rocker, who went on some big rant about how much he hates New York City around this time. Cue Sting and Booker on the screen because we’re still not done talking about Russo. Sting says he has Booker’s back tonight but for now, Russo needs to turn around. Russo does just that and Goldberg is in the crowd.

Mike Sanders comes in to see Kronik, who are out of the tag team battle royal as per Russo’s orders. So the Thrillers are officially errand boys?

Tag Team Titles: Battle Royal

Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera, Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire, 3 Count (all three members), Harris Brothers, Corporal Cajun/Lieutenant Loco, Jung Dragons (Jamie-San/Kaz Hayashi)

Last team standing wins the vacant titles and both members have to be eliminated. It’s a brawl to start of course as Konnan sits in on commentary, promising vengeance on Disqo and the Duck. Hayashi takes an H Bomb and is eliminated a few seconds later, laving Jamie-San on his own. Shane is sent over the top and through a table (of course) and here’s Kronik, who may or may not actually be in the match.

The Harris Brothers are put out in seconds and it’s time for Kronik to clean house. Adams dumps Jamie-San and Shannon, meaning all of 3 Count is eliminated because we missed Evan somewhere. There go the Misfits until security comes in to mace Kronik. We’re down to just the Thrillers vs. the Animals with Juvy fighting back as the Animals take over.

Rey gets crotched though (Hudson: “He got his bronco busted.”) and a Seanton Bomb makes it even worse. Cue Disqo to hit Juvy with the Duck (no effect of course), allowing Jindrak and O’Haire to dump him. The bell rings but Rey is still in, which we’ll call a referee screwup. O’Haire crotches Rey on top and Jindrak clotheslines him out for the titles.

Rating: D. More overbooked nonsense here as they could have just as easily done O’Haire/Jindrak vs. the Animals with the same finish or had the Animals defend in the battle royal. Instead they vacate the titles and have Kronik taken out for no explained reason (likely for not destroying Stevie well enough on Thunder), only to have Kronik make the entire division look like a joke. Well done indeed, as usual.

Pamela Paulshock is in the back with Howard Stern’s Wack Pack. Guess what they have to say. Of note, Paulshock is in a fur coat, which will come into play later. Nash and the Thrillers come in to interrupt them with Nash getting the only good line as he refers to Beetlejuice (a dwarf) as Elix.

Insane Clown Posse vs. Mike Awesome

This is over the bus and seems to be hardcore. Before the match, Violent J says Vampiro is out due to a broken spleen or something. We hear about some JCW wrestlers being hardcore but Mike is dead, just like the 70s. J actually isn’t a bad talker. Awesome drives the bus into the arena (thank goodness he was behind the wheel and right outside) and comes out swinging a fire extinguisher.

Shaggy hits him in the head with a trashcan and they pull Awesome on top of the bus. J is knocked off the engine and through a table, followed by an Awesome Bomb onto the top of the bus to Shaggy, who falls down to the concrete for the pin. This was a segment disguised as a match and really didn’t need to do that big spot.

David Flair, now with a camera in his car, goes to Chuck E. Cheese for directions. Since there’s already a camera set up inside, David is seen yelling at a worker and then searching through the ball pit for the father.

Here are Cat and Ms. Jones with the former calling out Russo. Cat is going to have Booker’s back tonight and promises to fire anyone who tries to interfere tonight. This brings out Mike Sanders with a ball bat. Mike: “Did somebody say Natural Born Thrillers?” Cat: “No. I said natural born ratings killers.” Egads man even the roster knows your show sucks at this point. The crowd swears at Sanders so the audio cuts out for a few moments before Sanders tells Cat to reverse that threat of a firing. The fight is on so here are Nash and the Thrillers for the big beatdown. Mark: “SPAY THE CAT!”

It’s time for the bikini contest with Gene and Pamela (still in fur coat) as emcees and the Wack Pack as judges. By the way: this is opening the second hour against Raw. The contestants (Chae, Chiquita, Torrie Wilson, Tygress, Paisley, Leia Meow and Major Gunns) come out and kind of disrobe, as some of them take their robes off while some open them but don’t take them off. Gunns goes last and has an American swimsuit, drawing out Jim Duggan to take her to the back.

The judges aren’t sure who wins so Pamela decides it’s time to take off her coat, naturally revealing a barely there top. She wins, so the actual contestants fight until Midajah comes out for one of the worst slams I’ve ever seen on Meow. The women looked good but when I can be watching Trish and Lita actually starting to develop as characters and having matches, this stops doing anything for me. Oh and over on Raw: Austin was recently back from injury and opening the show before Rock and Benoit had a World Title match later on. Guess how the ratings went.

Steiner is in the back for an interview when Goldberg attacks him.

Here are Disqo and his Duck, the former of whom doesn’t think much of the Animals. He wants to introduce his new partner but gets beaten down by Steiner. Scott calls out Goldberg, who immediately accepts but wants it in a cage with no referee.

Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner

Inside Caged Heat with ten seconds’ build. They brawl on the floor with Goldberg choking away as the cage is lowered. Goldberg throws him inside as the bell rings and my head shakes at how stupid this company really is. Steiner gets beaten down for the first minute or so until Scott comes back with a spinning belly to belly. A top rope clothesline puts Goldberg down, only to have him come back with a butterfly suplex.

There’s a low blow to put Goldberg down as Midajah comes out and just walks in to hand the pipe to Steiner. However, the New York Jet that Steiner insulted earlier jumps the barricade and keeps Steiner from leaving. Goldberg comes back with a spear (right into the pipe for no effect because the script doesn’t call for it) before walking out to win.

Rating: D-. Whenever you hear people praise Steiner vs. Goldberg, the automatic question is why didn’t they do it again at Starrcade. Well apparently that’s because they did it here, eight days later, inside the Cell in a match that didn’t even make five minutes and was more about a member of the New York Jets than any kind of revenge. Oh and again: THEY ANNOUNCD THIS SIX MINUTES BEFORE THE BELL.

You might think that the rematch of one of the most physical matches ever inside a cage would be a good way to open against this week’s Raw, but that spot was reserved for women in swimsuits, High Pitch Eric and Crackhead Bob. It’s the same short term thinking and the hope that people just happened to change the channel during the commercials for Raw and tune in to see whatever the latest thing WCW was rushing through at this point. I mean, it’s not like anyone was going to buy a pay per view to see these two fight so why not just throw it out here?

Goldberg says Russo is next.

Jeff Jarrett hits Beetlejuice with the guitar.

Booker promises backup for the main event. Thankfully he also has some devastating catchphrases to do some early damage to the boss.

General Rection vs. Jeff Jarrett

Rection shrugs off Jarrett’s early attack in the corner but misses a top rope elbow. Madden accuses the General of being a draft dodger as a sitout powerbomb gets two on Jeff. Cue Team Canada for a distraction, allowing Duggan to hit Rection with the board, setting up the Stroke to give Jeff the pin. Nothing match.

Jarrett puts Rection in the Figure Four until the Misfits come out for the save. That fails of course because the Misfits suck so it’s Sting coming out for the real save. The Canadians run but Storm wants Sting in a non-title match right now.

Sting vs. Lance Storm

This could be interesting. Joined in progress after a break with Storm in control and hitting that great dropkick for two. Three straight clotheslines have Storm in trouble but he crotches Sting on top. An elbow sends Storm to the floor where the Stinger Splash that always hits the barricade hits the barricade again. Back in and Storm gets two off a powerbomb but Sting starts his usual comeback. Storm however is CANADIAN and counters the Deathlock attempt into the Maple Leaf. After the rope is reached, Sting suplexes him down and puts on the Death Drop for the pin.

Rating: C. Fine little match here, even though it was a clean pin on the US Champion. To be fair though, it was Sting instead of some goon to set up a title shot. I can actually live with that a lot more easily as Sting is one of the biggest names ever in WCW and a loss doesn’t do him that much damage. On a related side note: Lance Storm lost and regained the US Title from Terry Funk on the house show circuit over the weekend. As you might guess, this wasn’t mentioned on TV.

David Flair goes inside and demands that the father come out. Then it turns out he has the wrong house so he goes next door but no one is home. Apparently the guy is out of town, whoever he is. How the person who tells David that the father isn’t home knows who the father is isn’t clear as they somehow never said the guy’s name.

Russo, in football pads and carrying a helmet, promises to win tonight.

The cage is lowered.

WCW World Title: Vince Russo vs. Booker T.

You can win by pin or escape and JB is on commentary. Russo jumps him with the bat to start as a bunch of people are guarding the door to keep Russo inside. Back up and Russo blasts him in the chest with the bat and throws in a ladder. There’s a third bat shot so Russo can go up and tear the roof open, only to have the wrestlers waiting on him. Sting repels down from the ceiling to stop Russo as well, allowing Booker to slam him for the champ’s first offense.

Russo loses the helmet and gets punched in the face, followed by a superkick. They head outside for some slow brawling but LEX LUGER of all people returns to give Russo a lead pipe through the cage. Therefore, Russo gets to beat the champ down even more before shoving the referee down. The EMTs get beaten down….save for one who is Ric Flair. Ric beats Russo down until the Thrillers come out to brawl with everyone at ringside, leaving Booker to ax and side kick Russo.

Like any schnook though, Booker grabs the mic for his catchphrase instead of leaving. Cue Goldberg to slowly come down the ramp, which freezes Booker at the door for absolutely no reason. Even Scott Hudson screams at Booker to leave. Instead he lets Goldberg in as Scott Steiner comes out to guard the door. Goldberg spears Russo through the cage wall to make him the champ, but Booker high fives Goldberg anyway to end the show.

Rating: Vince Russo. I wrote most of this on Monday but I had to wait a few days to be able to start talking about it. This is something that I knew was coming but I actually had to take a break and process what I just sat through. The match itself is of course inconsequential but the big thing here is of course, Russo, as always.

I’m actually struggling to come up with a way to rip on this match. It’s one of those things that you know is horrible on all counts but it’s hard to go into why. Above all else, and this is a spoiler (for a show fifteen and a half years old), the problem is that this show meant nothing. Booker would get the title back a week later by beating Jeff Jarrett, making this whole thing a big waste of time.

This was Russo’s last match in WCW as his injuries (the real ones, not the ones that caused him to have brain surgery like two weeks ago) kept him out of the ring. I know I’m supposed to feel sorry for him about that but I’ve sat through six months of Russo putting himself over Flair, Goldberg, and now Booker for the title. Now I’m supposed to care about his injuries and feel bad that he had to vacate the belt and not wrestle anymore?

The whole thing was nothing more than a vanity project for Russo as he’s actually turned the promotion and the company’s World Title into a trophy for himself. I mean, I know we talk about Hogan and his friends turning the company into a huge vanity project that was all a playground for themselves, but that’s exactly what Russo has managed to do here. This whole company is now about Russo and whatever makes him look good.

Why would ANYONE want to watch this company again? It’s not about the wrestling or the title anymore. They have now decided that Russo getting to win a title that he “wanted since he was a kid” was more important than Booker, Goldberg (the two of whom looked like morons to end the show) or anything else that could possibly be going on here.

Oh and on top of that: Russo dominated WAY too much of the match. Remember St. Valentine’s Day Massacre when Austin fought McMahon, and by fought I mean absolutely destroyed for most of the match until a low blow slowed Austin down for like thirty seconds? This was Russo beating on Booker with a bat until a bunch of interference changed things around and set up the finish.

Finally, and speaking of McMahon, no this isn’t the same thing as when McMahon won the title a year earlier. For one thing, McMahon winning the title was a nice surprise as he was a face at the time and gave the fans something they wanted to see, unlike Russo who gave himself something he wanted to see. It also helped that McMahon had taken a loss or two here and there. Like him or not, you can’t deny that McMahon will get beaten whenever the story calls him for him to.

Third, look at where the promotions were at the time. The WWF was on fire and absolutely crushing WCW in the ratings. Russo’s title win came when WCW hadn’t won a night in the Monday Night Wars in nearly two years. The solution is to give the heel writer (as in the person who isn’t the owner or the official boss) the title to make himself feel better in his hometown while taking it off Booker. In other words, everything was about Russo instead of something that might have helped advance a storyline. But hey, people still talk about this so Russo is totally justified in all of this right?

Overall Rating: F. In addition to the disaster that was the main event, we also have the rest of the show to make WCW look ridiculous. I can’t emphasize this enough: they gave away Steiner vs. Goldberg II in a nothing five minute match inside the Cell. That gets no time, but Russo’s cage match is given a week’s build because he’s a draw and a star?

In addition to that you have the usual way too high amount of gimmick matches for no logical reason other than “PEOPLE LOVE GIMMICK MATCHES”, wrestling that either has no time or is such a mess because they have nowhere to go without doing some stupid story. Oh and there’s the swimsuit contest, which made the women look like even bigger wastes of time than Russo thinks they are.

Overall, you can’t say this was the death of WCW because the company had clearly gone under way earlier than this though. Instead, this was taking WCW’s casket out of the tomb and robbing whatever Russo could get out of it for the sake of making himself look good. It’s one of those shows where you know what’s coming and it’s so depressing because there’s nothing that can be done about it. They made it clear a long time ago that this place is all about Russo and now they’ve only confirmed it. Normally I would say something like “enjoy your title Russo because you’ve killed it” but that would probably just make him laugh.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Thunder
Date: September 20, 2000
Location: Civic Center, Erie, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

We’re in a world where Vince Russo is the #1 contender to the WCW World Title because that’s how things are supposed to go around here. Odds are tonight is going to be about setting up that huge showdown on Monday with Russo getting some MANLY promos or maybe even a quick MANLY match. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Nitro highlights.

Here’s Russo, flanked by security, to get things going, complete with the black paint under his eyes that football players wear. Stevie is groaning louder than usual over this and thinks he’s going to be sick. Russo talks about being ready to be champion in five days and knowing that Booker needs tonight off because he’s a street thug and the visiting team on Monday.

As for tonight though, Vince wants to have a warmup match so he calls out Stevie Ray. This brings Stevie up from commentary but Russo doesn’t want to see him. That’s quite the quick plot change. As part of his new character, Tenay says that if Stevie leaves, it means more time for Tony and himself to talk. Stevie walks around the side of the ramp as per Russo’s orders, leaving Russo to rant about Booker as Jarrett and Steiner arrive.

Steiner beats up the security and maces Russo before yelling about how he wants his title shot. Russo says they can have a triple threat against Sting later and then have all the title shots they want. Apparently Russo made Steiner (no) and Jarrett (ok yeah he kind of did), which is enough to make Russo run off, only to have Sting and Booker come in for the brawl.

Jeremy Borash takes Stevie’s place and is now shilling for Russo.

Jung Dragons vs. Natural Born Thrillers

Sanders/Jindrak/O’Haire. It’s Hayashi vs. Sanders to get things going for some armdrags and right hands before it’s off to Yang and O’Haire. Sean blocks a sunset flip because he’s a big guy and Yang is a rather small man by comparison. It’s off to Jindrak to throw Yang down with a Samoan Drop before Sean drops the Seanton. Jamie comes in off the top with a guillotine legdrop for the save at two though, meaning they’re actually not squashing the Dragons just yet. That doesn’t mean they’re being treated all that well though as Sanders has jumped in on commentary because the Dragons just aren’t a big threat.

Jamie tries to DDT the two guys actually in the ring but Jindrak plants him with a powerbomb. Everything breaks down and Jamie is thrown hard into the barricade as Sanders powerslams Kaz. The Dragons’ manager Leia Meow is whipping Jamie for taking his beating, followed by hitting a top rope seated senton for the pin on Sanders. The referee is just fine with this of course.

Rating: D+.What did the Thrillers do to tick this company off? In a few days now they’ve gotten beaten up by a retired Orndorff, Tygress and now the Jung Dragons. I mean, I know they were actually getting somewhere so in WCW that’s probably the right time to knock them back down the ladder and use them as a way to give Nash an angle.

Disqo is in the back with the Cat and Ms. Jones, the latter of whom throws his duck on the ground.

Russo tells a masked guy to sell for him later.

Disqo suggests Rey vs. Juvy in a #1 contenders match for the Cruiserweight Title later tonight. Again, how does he have this kind of authority?

It’s time for the Lava Lamp Lounge with the contestants in the Miss Nitro competition on Monday. Torrie is going first but Major Gunns cuts her off to talk about how large her chest is. Paisley and Tygress talk a bit and the fact that Awesome might be a judge makes thing even worse. It turns into a catfight with two Nitro Girls coming out to argue as well. The set is trashed again and Awesome is ticked off. So we’ve seen the Thrillers lose and Mike Awesome used to put over a swimsuit contest while Vince Russo is #1 contender.

Scott Steiner promises to win tonight.

There’s going to be a battle royal for the vacant Tag Team Titles on Monday. So far we have Kronik and Mysterio/Guerrera confirmed.

Vince Russo vs. Masked Heel

Russo has his helmet on, which is pretty low level protection after having brain surgery like two weeks ago. The Heel is introduced as an international shoot champion and a 28 time Olympian. His shirt says THE MASKED HEEL and he comes out to the Leave it to Beaver theme that Booker had to use earlier in the year or whenever that was. Russo chops him in the corner a few times and we get the Hogan hand to the ear. Borash is going on like Cole went on about Miz in a kind of funny bit.

A big boot mostly misses Heel’s fast and there goes the MANLY shirt for some posing. Russo tries a legdrop but looked like he was missing a dropkick instead. The Heel pops to his feet and starts no selling, including a spear bouncing off of him. The mask comes off and of course it’s Stevie Ray with a slap jack to Russo’s ribs. He’ll leave now though so Booker can have a piece on Monday. Therefore, Russo wins via DQ/countout or it’s a no contest, meaning he is STILL undefeated! My but that’s MANLY!

Post break, Russo sends Kronik after Stevie Ray. Do they follow his orders now?

Konnan approves of Disqo’s idea.

Paisley vs. Torrie Wilson

Kwee Wee and Shane are in on commentary for what could be rather entertaining if Kwee Wee is allowed to be himself. The match is of course a disaster of a catfight with Torrie shoving Paisley’s leg away, which draws Shane away from the five man booth for some reason. The guys brawl and Paisley rolls Torrie up for the pin.

Shane gives Paisley the Franchiser so here’s Tygress to jump on his back. Konnan has to come out for the save with his rolling clothesline, which Tenay calls a DDT because his spirit has been broken.

Russo and Sanders are talking in the back.

Here’s Team Canada with something to say. After a quick speech from Storm on how we should all join Canada, Duggan blames the American fans for his recent change of heart. With that, it’s time to burn the American flag. Cue the Misfits who are beaten down because Storm has a flag and Duggan has a big board, but the powers of a sex pun turn the tide. Rection tries to save the flag but Duggan beats him down instead, leaving the General to cover the flag with his body as he takes a beating.

Sanders puts a forklift in front of Booker’s door. Clearly he was the only man in the building capable of doing this and not like, a forklift driver or something.

Jarrett guarantees a win tonight.

Kronik vs. Stevie Ray

Stevie is still in the Masked Heel shirt. Borash: “Suckas are kinda curious about how this match is going to go.” Tags are required so Stevie pounds on Clark to no avail as we get things going. A good looking bicycle kick puts Clark down for two but Adams comes in to help out on a double elbow to take over.

Kronik shoulders him down as the announcers try to figure out if Adams and Clark are working for Russo or not. Stevie hits the slap jack but can’t hit the Slap Jack. Adams picks Stevie off with the full nelson slam and they load up High Time onto the chair, only to kick the chair away in a show of mercy. The regular High Time is enough for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was exactly what you would have been expecting, which is to say a match longer than it should have been (just over three minutes) and nothing interesting. Kronik having shades of gray isn’t a good idea either, especially if it leads to a double turn with the Harris Twins because one set of heel monsters is enough.

Remember that forklift in front of Booker’s door? It’s still there.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Russo yells at Kronik for not using the chair. The pair of giants’ response? Nothing of course.

Rey Mysterio vs. Juventud Guerrera

Remember when this was one of the best matches in WCW? Why did they stop with that? The winner gets a title shot at some point in the future. Konnan and Tygress sit in on commentary (of course) with Konnan going into an actually interesting history about how Mexico has a lot of different weight classes and how successful these two have been. They go to a knuckle lock to start and do the now standard series of flips into a double cover with both guys bridging up for the save.

Juvy scores with a DDT for the first real advantage and the guys are suddenly mad at each other. A double clothesline puts both of them down but it’s Juvy up first with a springboard spinning dropkick to send Rey outside. Juvy follows with a slingshot dive (Konnan: “Also called a pescado.” When did Konnan turn into the best commentator in WCW?) but gets powerbombed back inside. The Bronco Buster crushes Juvy as Konnan says Disqo has officially been thrown off the team. A nice spinning ankle scissors sends Juvy to the floor and Rey hits a dive of his own.

Back in and Rey springboards into a HARD sitout powerbomb for two. Rey landed on the back of his head there and it looked bad. Juvy’s springboard splash gets two and Rey grabs a bridging rollup for the same. Back up and Rey tries a standing Lionsault which is caught in the Juvy Driver for another near fall. Rey gets in a powerbomb of his own but Juvy flips him into a sunset flip for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B. You can’t go back to what you had with these two that easily but it was nice to see a flashback for a single night. I’m not sure what’s going on lately with Thunder but they’re actually letting us have the occasional good, clean match which shows how good the roster still can be. Unfortunately that makes it even harder to sit through how bad things really are as you know they can do better.

Disqo comes in post match and gets beaten down by the team.

Sting is ready for the triple threat.

3 Count vs. Harris Brothers

The beating is quickly on because the Harris Brothers are the real stars here and 3 Count can do whatever they want and actually have characters but it doesn’t mean anything because there’s nothing for them to do in WCW. On a side note: Ron is growing his hair out. That makes him so much more interesting by default. The H Bomb takes Shannon out but here are Kronik and the Thrillers to turn this into a preview of the battle royal and throw the match out.

This week’s interview is with Stacy Keibler and this week’s creepy Tenay line is when he asks if she needs a second hand to count all the people that she cheated with. Of course it was only one but Stacy won’t say who it is. Tenay actually thinks he could have gotten Stacy, “if it weren’t for the fact that I’m a married man with morals.” Stacy insists it wasn’t Ric Flair and leaves. Tenay: “Boy, she’s gonna make a great mother.”

The forklift is moved.

Scott Steiner vs. Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

Russo is out for commentary. Before the match, Steiner insults Goldberg, Booker, and Booker’s mama. If there is one thing you don’t do, it’s insult Mr. T.’s mother. It’s a brawl to start of course with Sting getting the better of it early on. Steiner comes back with a belly to belly though as Russo hijacks commentary to talk about his title match being inside Caged Heat. Oh yeah they’re building up on those swerves.

The heels double team Sting and here’s Booker T. in Sting gear. By gear I mean a singlet and a Sting mask with nothing else hiding his identity. Booker starts cleaning house with signature Sting stuff (and the referee is too stupid to notice the difference you see) until we get a Spinarooni. Sting comes back in and puts Russo in the Deathlock, only to have Jarrett hit Sting with the guitar…..AND THAT’S A DQ???

Rating: D. Nothing match but they’ve actually made WCW referees look even dumber than they already were. This company continues to make my head hurt as they do one stupid thing after another, such as Booker wearing a Sting mask being enough to fool the referee. Of course it doesn’t really matter as the announcers were focusing on Caged Heat being announced for Monday because it’s all about Russo.

Jarrett and Steiner put on their submissions to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Mysterio vs. Guerrera aside, this was the latest mess that focused WAY too much on Russo and had too many plot holes going on that stopped making sense. Booker being trapped was fine, but why in the world did Booker dress up like Sting? What did that change or enhance whatsoever, aside from making WCW look stupid? Bad show for the most part, but the worst is of course still yet to come.

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