Monday Nitro #254
Date: August 21, 2000
Location: Kansas Coliseum, Wichita, Kansas
Attendance: 5,211
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray

Dang we’re flying through August. I’m not sure why but it feels like this month is going by faster than any has in months. Maybe I’m just talking about this because I don’t want to talk about what’s going on in WCW at the moment. We’re almost up to Fall Brawl and the main feud is still Booker T. vs. Kevin Nash. Let’s get to it.

Two notes before we get to the show. First of all, of the 5,200 people here, about 3,000 were comped. Second, there was a house show two nights before this show in Sioux City, Iowa. The show’s main event: Stevie Ray vs. Jeff Jarrett. I don’t know if that’s a regular main event for WCW at this point, but add it to the list of reasons this company is on its last legs.

We open with a recap of Russo’s shoot from last week where he wanted to fire Goldberg. Thankfully this turns into a video about Goldberg beating up a bunch of people instead. As in something people might want to watch.

Russo is on the phone with Scott Steiner, who he promises that tonight is the night. Jeff Jarrett comes in and says they need to get rid of Goldberg. Russo assures him that it’s going to work.

We see a clip of Team Canada being awesome on Thunder.

Cruiserweight Title: Elix Skipper vs. Lieutenant Loco

Skipper is defending and Lance Storm is on commentary. Rection is outside as well and starts a USA chant to get things going. They start fast (likely due to having almost no time) with Loco uppercutting the champ into the corner. A belly to back suplex looks to set up an early frog splash but Lance breaks it up with a flag shot. Rection and Storm start brawling at ringside as Skipper brings in a chair, only to have it quickly taken away. That’s the point though as Elix slips on his Grey Cup ring to knock Loco out for the pin.

We cut to the back less than five seconds after the pin to see Goldberg arriving.

Russo is on the phone with Scott and asks if he’s ready. For some reason we cut to another camera shot of Steiner saying he’s ready. Why was that camera set up?

Here’s Russo with a bunch of security and something to say. Russo talks about wanting to get off TV but they keep pulling him back in. And wouldn’t you know it, they brought him right back into one of the show’s top stories. Right now his problem is Goldberg, who runs through the crowd to take out security. Since Russo is MANLY though, Goldberg isn’t allowed to touch him due to the contract.

Therefore, Russo has an offer Goldberg can’t refuse. He pulls out a release for Goldberg which will include full payment of his contract and he can show up next Monday anywhere he wants. The papers are quickly ripped up so Russo runs his mouth even more, talking about how Jarrett, Nash and Steiner all want a piece of Goldberg tonight. Russo brings up Goldberg’s girlfriend (Beth, though I doubt I’m going to remember that) and that’s enough for Goldberg to snap. Steiner pops up on screen and he breaks into a hotel room. We see Goldberg’s girlfriend freaking out so Goldberg runs off, naturally leaving Russo posing in the ring.

Wait we’re not done yet though as Booker T. comes out to deal with Russo. You know, because so many people want to. Booker wants Russo to tell Nash that he’ll be waiting all night for the big man. Russo is NO ONE’S delivery service though because Russo made Booker. Booker was at the bottom of WCW, where Russo thinks he should still be.

So wait, is this the real Russo or was it the real Russo when he said Booker deserved to be in the main event at Bash at the Beach? Or am I just stupid for trying to figure all this out? Anyway, Booker kicks him down and gets in an ax kick for one of the few times you’ll see Russo take a beating.

Goldberg rides off on his motorcycle.

Russo yells at the Natural Born Thrillers (now with shirts) and gives Palumbo the World Title shot if Nash isn’t here on time.

Corporal Cajun/Major Gunns vs. Paisley/Kwee Wee

So Papaya is officially gone. Paisley shoves Gunns off the apron to start and Gunns…stares. Ok then. The guys start (thank goodness) with Cajun getting two off a right hand. It’s off to Gunns for one off a middle rope sunset flip before tagging Cajun back in. Paisley comes in to stand in the corner so Cajun can catapult Kwee Wee into her. Everything breaks down and the women are of course horrible. Cajun launches Gunns off the middle rope into a cross body for the pin. The guys were watchable at best and they were definitely the better part. Oh and the wrong music plays when the Misfits win.

The losers beat down the winners post match.

Russo tells Steiner to be ready for Goldberg.

Here are Tank and 3 Count to sing Tank’s new song (including lyrics about tearing out your spleen and chewing on your bladder) but Tank thinks the band screwed up. Tank goes to leave but Vampiro and the Insane Clown Posse come out to beat all four of them down. Vampiro says this is the Dark Carnival and says Juggalo Championship Wrestling is officially taking over. He holds up the JCW Title, which is somehow still around in 2016. Vampiro rants about politics and promises that he’s just getting started with Steve Borden. Tank gets back in to clear the ring out and wants a JCW Title match tonight.

Here are the Natural Born Thrillers (minus Palumbo, who is getting ready) for their debut promo. Sanders gets the mic (thank goodness) and talks about spending the last two years watching the A-list stars draw below average ratings. There’s a man at the Power Plant who has been treating them like like garbage. Sanders introduces the team and says Palumbo is going to be champion by the end of the night. Opportunity has been knocking and they’re going to give the kids someone to look up to, the men a reason to get into the gym and the women a fantasy for every night.

Cue the Filthy Animals (because Russo LOVES faction wars) with Konnan saying he thought Tank Abbott’s promos were bad. Konnan rants about them never paying any dues and having no experience in this sport. They’ve never held a title or worked at this a day in their life. Konnan’s verdict: they ain’t got it like that.

Natural Born Thrillers vs. Filthy Animals

Konnan is the odd man out and it’s O’Haire/Jindrak/Sanders in the ring. Stasiak and Konnan are on commentary (talking about Stasiak’s pet gorilla) as Rey fires off rights and lefts at Jindrak. Konnan says the Tag Team Titles are on the line here but for some reason I don’t think that’s accurate. A tilt-a-whirl slam takes Jindrak down as Konnan wants to know how Stasiak hurt his knee when he just stands in the corner and poses.

It’s off to Disqo for an elbow drop as I’m trying to figure out when the Animals turned face. Madden says this is better than watching a bunch of old guys, which Konnan refers to a traveling wax museum doing a legdrop a clothesline and posing. O’Haire and Sanders double team Disqo down to take over before it’s Jindrak coming in with a springboard clothesline. A quick Russian legsweep takes Mark down (Disqo was always totally watchable in the ring) and it’s off to Juvy with a springboard spinwheel kick.

Juvy takes Mark down with a middle rope hurricanrana and it’s time for Rey, who is quickly crotched to change control again. Konnan ribs on the Natural Born Thrillers name in a funny bit as Sanders launches Rey into an O’Haire powerslam for two. A sick Batista bomb gets two more on Rey with Disqo having to make the save.

Rey takes Mark down with a headscissors and the hot tag brings in Juvy to clean house. Disqo DDT’s Jindrak and it’s Bronco Busters all around. Tygress hits one of her own so Konnan can debut FACE FULL OF STUFF. Everything breaks down until it’s Sanders debuting the 3.0 (Randy Orton’s backbreaker) for the pin on Disqo.

Rating: B-. Probably high but I have to take what I can get on these shows. Above all else this got some time (a bit over eight minutes, an eternity on Nitro) and the match was able to go somewhere. Konnan was actually really good on commentary here and made me want to see the Animals win and was making me laugh at the same time. This is the kind of match that WCW needed to have a lot more of, but you would have to be crazy to think any of these guys were getting past the Tag Team Titles, which is where so many of WCW’s problems came from: the introduction was good but it never materialized.

We see Goldb….oh wait make sure to keep the camera on O’Haire hitting the Seanton bomb on Tygress. Ok we’ve got the violence on the woman in so now we can go to see Goldberg arrive at the hotel.

Tygress is helped to the back.

Palumbo is getting the shot tonight because Nash just isn’t here. Well at least they’re finally going somewhere with the “they’re always late” idea.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Chuck Palumbo

Booker is defending and oh sweet Russo is guest referee (naturally not even selling the beatdown from earlier). The champ works on a hammerlock to start and drops him with a quick Harlem side kick. A suplex drops Palumbo but Booker tweaks his knee again. Booker rolls him up for no count and yeah we’re doing this gem again. Palumbo gets in a shot for a very fast two and fires off some of those awesome right hands.

Booker’s sunset flip out of the corner gets Russo crawling around but stopping before one. A powerslam gets a fast near fall but Booker blasts him with a spinning forearm. The champ grabs a flapjack and Spinaroonis up, only to have the Thrillers hit the ring. Reno Rolls the Dice on Booker until Vito runs out with the stickball bat for the save. Now it’s Nash coming in with a chair to Booker’s head for a fast counted three from Booker.

Oh of course not as the Cat comes out to say Eric Bischoff made him the Commissioner and Russo is the writer. That means they’re equal (HUH?) so this match isn’t over. Wouldn’t that mean he’s overriding Russo which doesn’t work if they’re equal? The Thrillers are ejected and Booker is still officially champion because the match never ended. Booker wants to keep the match going so Cat appoints himself as referee. Good thing he had a referee shirt under his regular shirt (of course) as Russo takes over on commentary. Booker does his quick finishing sequence and retains with the Book End.

Rating: D. I lost track of what I was watching here. In other words, it’s another one of WCW’s major problems at this point: things going so fast that you can barely keep track of the match, let alone the show. It also brings up the question of why was Nash late, because apparently he arrived in between the start of the match and the four minute mark, which is quite the lucky timing. Anyway, Palumbo was trying but there was WAY too much going on to showcase anyone.

Goldberg is almost at the room! Seriously that’s how Tony put it.

Post break Goldberg gets in the ring and finds a note on the mirror saying they’re back at the arena. So it’s another movie episode.

JCW Title: Tank Abbott vs. Vampiro

Vampiro is defending and the Insane Clown Posse has taken over commentary, in whatever their over the top characters are of course. One of them dubs Tank “Pink Rabbit” and the other calls him “Hank Sandwich.” I’m not a fan of the Clowns but I remember their commentary being some of the funniest stuff I had ever heard. Vampiro kicks “Frank Rabbit’s” leg as the announcers try to figure out what Tank’s leg is made of. Tank punches the referee by mistake and then goes after Vampiro, drawing the Clowns into the ring. Muta comes in and mists Tank but 3 Count runs in for the save as this is thrown out.

Scott Steiner drags Goldberg’s girlfriend into the arena. As usual, women in a Russo promotion are helpless.

Russo gives Vito a match with Nash tonight.

Hardcore Title: Kronik vs. Norman Smiley

Smiley is the reluctant champion and asked for this match. Adams is in street clothes (I don’t want to see that street) so he sits in on commentary while Clark is left alone in the ring. Smiley, who wants to lose the title, starts swinging a kendo stick until Clark takes it away. I think you can figure out what’s going to happen next so I’ll let you put the pieces together yourself.

Clark kicks a trashcan into his face so Smiley goes outside and slaps Adams. That earns Norman a full nelson slam from Adams and the Meltdown from Clark as we’re just waiting on the Harris Twins. Adams goes to get a table (and finds smoke under the ring for some reason) before sitting back on commentary as the Twins come in and lay out Kronik with a chain. An H Bomb through a table retains Norman’s title, much to his chagrin.

Rating: F. It’s rare that a TV show gives me more than one match where I don’t know what to say but Russo has pulled it off. The match was just a backdrop for the comedy angle and another run-in to set up a match that almost no one wants to see. Kronik needed to get out of the tag division but the Harris Twins were the best opponents they could get? What did I do to get stuck with this?

Cat tells Lance Storm that Carl Oulette’s work visa has been denied so Storm is defending the US Title in a tag match against Mike Awesome and General Rection. Storm’s partner is a surprise. Oh dear.

Steiner tells Goldberg’s girlfriend that she’s a pawn.

Vito goes on a rant about how Russo isn’t his friend but tonight he’s going to fight the biggest guy in WCW.

Kevin Nash vs. Big Vito

Nash pounds him into the corner to start because Vito has been getting a very moderate push tonight so we need to crush him before it gets out of hand. There’s the boot choke but Vito escapes Snake Eyes and scores with the Mafia kick. A suplex and legdrop get two on Nash but he comes right back with a bit boot and side slam for two. Now Snake Eyes works and a chokeslam gets two. The straps go down and Nash scores with the Jackknife, only to have Booker come in (with his music playing for all of a second and a half) for the DQ.

Rating: D. As usual Nash doesn’t let anyone get in anything significant on him, though at least the Mafia kick got to make contact. You knew Vito wasn’t going to win here because he’s a main eventer though and Vito is in his early 30s. Nothing to see here as usual but at least Booker got in a shot on Nash.

Vito won’t get medical attention. I’m guessing that’s his rub.

US Title: Lance Storm/??? vs. General Rection/Mike Awesome

Storm is defending and whoever gets the pin gets the title. The Canadian flag comes out and Storm gets in some shots at the fans, only to be cut off by Jeff Jarrett’s music. Rection and Awesome get no music for reasons that aren’t clear. The production staff is way off tonight. Rection knocks Storm into the corner to start before dropping him with a gorilla press. Jeff is smart enough to kick Rection in the back, allowing Storm to nail a superkick to take over.

Jarrett breaks up a cover by Storm as the match is already getting too confusing. Rection misses a top rope elbow but Awesome tags himself in as everything breaks down. A big powerbomb puts Storm down with Jeff having to make a save, leaving Rection to hit No Laughing Matter on the champ. Cue Skipper to make a save of his own and Jeff adds a guitar shot to Mike (which might have been meant for Storm) to let Lance retain the title.

Rating: D. Another match with a bunch of stuff crammed into less than four minutes, meaning there was almost no way to catch everything. That just should not happen in a match this short, even if it was designed to set up a feud with Awesome vs. Jarrett and continue the Rection vs. Storm feud, which really isn’t of note anyway.

Steiner drags the girlfriend to the ring because she’s there to make men look dominant and powerful. Scott rants about how Goldberg started this before calling her a rather bad name for a woman as well as ugly. Goldberg slowly walks out until Jarrett hits him in the back with a chair. The villains double team Goldberg as the girlfriend watches in fear. Booker tries to make a save but Nash comes in. Goldberg fights back until Rick Steiner runs out with a pipe to put Goldberg down. They handcuff him in the corner and Steiner puts the girlfriend in the Recliner right in front of Goldberg to end the show (two minutes before the hour).

Overall Rating: D-. It takes a lot to make me uncomfortable watching wrestling. When you’ve been watching for nearly thirty years, you really do think you’ve seen everything. However, the way Russo books women on his shows are actually making me cringe. From what I can count, the following women were on this show: Beth, Major Gunns, Paisley and Tygress. Here’s what happened to them:

Major Gunns – Nothing

Tygress – Seanton bomb

Paisley – Splashed by Kwee Wee

Beth – Kidnapped, called an ugly b**** and put in the Steiner Recliner

Keep in mind that Goldberg vs. Steiner is happening because Goldberg (at least off camera) put Midajah through a table. Assuming you believe the plans that were only abandoned because the company went under, Russo was going to get to be announced as the father of Miss Hancock’s baby (no word on whether it would have been consensual).

Watching these shows is like some weird therapy as Russo tries to work out his horrible issues with women. On these shows, women are regularly beaten up, treated like garbage, jump from one man to another (Paisley), breaking a man’s heart because she doesn’t get that he’s crazy about her (Crowbar), or put in mud matches. This stuff keeps happening and it’s getting more and more disturbing to watch almost every single week.

Other than that though, this show was your usual borderline disaster with the stories feeling more like a straight to video movie and the wrestling ranging from not bad to barely worth the time. The baseline problem of this show continues to be having too much going on, leaving little time to actually build anything up. The Thrillers are a nice idea but there’s no reason to believe they’re going anywhere long term. It’s fine to see them get pushed though, even it it means nothing. Bad show overall, even with the talent trying its hardest to shine through.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Thunder
Date: August 16, 2000
Location: Riverside Coliseum, Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada
Attendance: 3,264
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Stevie Ray

With New Blood Rising out of the way, it’s time to crank up the horrible again as this past Monday went insane all over again. We’re building towards a double main event at Fall Brawl with Kevin Nash vs. Booker T. for the World Title and Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner in a battle of the monsters. Let’s get to it.

Kevin Nash is in the back when Rick Steiner comes up to argue about who should be the #1 contender. The solution: Nash vs. Steiner tonight. If Steiner wins, his brother gets the title shot. Well at least they’re not jobbing Scott again.

Team Canada arrives, minus Jacques Rougeau (allegedly over not wanting to do a job). Cat comes up to say it’s going to be Team Canada vs. three Americans. Can one of them please not be the Cat?

Kronik vs. Juggernaut/Ladies’ Choice/Michelle Starr/Rockford 2000

Jobbers of course and Kronik promises to beat them in less than two minutes. I don’t think this requires too much of an explanation as it’s total destruction with Clark taking them to the floor and powerbombing one onto the bodies of the other two. The full nelson slam and High Time pins Juggernaut in a hurry.

Post match the Harris Twins appear on the screen with a challenge before riding away on their bikes.

Mark Madden and Gene Okerlund are getting ready in the back. Yes they’re actually doing this.

Disqo can’t convince the Filthy Animals to let Mike Sanders join. He’d be better at talking than any of them so I don’t see their objection.

Vampiro yells at Muta and throws an ax.

Here’s David Flair to call out Miss Hancock. After a lot of lame lines about how amazing she is, David drops to a knee to propose. Before he can get the question out though, here’s MIA for no apparent reason to destroy him. Wall chokeslams him a few times before the team leaves. Hancock, ever the nice person, yells at David for screwing this up too and leaves, only to stop to dance a bit. Ok then.

The MIA says no one touches Major Gunns like David did on Monday. Tonight they’re going to war with Team Canada and Rection promises to bring the US Title back to America.

Crowbar and Daffney saw what happened to David but Daffney says she’s over him. This gives Crowbar hope but a guy comes up with candy and flowers for her from the secret admirer. She continues to be oblivious to Crowbar’s feelings for her. Given that Russo is writing, can we set a timer before Crowbar snaps and beats her up?

Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire

I don’t think the titles are on the line here. Sanders is with the Animals here, or “Above Mike Average” according to Tony. Disqo lets Mike talk for a bit and gets a glare from Konnan. Juvy pounds on Jindrak in the corner to start but he gets caught in the wrong corner. On commentary, Konnan says any combination of the Animals can defend the titles. It’s quickly off to Mysterio vs. O’Haire with Rey charging into a powerslam as Tygress makes it a five person commentary booth.

Everything breaks down and Juvy uses Rey as a springboard to take Jindrak down and a bulldog does the same. Back up and Sean sends Rey in for a tilt-a-whirl side slam, followed by a backdrop to send Juvy outside. There’s the Seanton bomb to Rey and Sanders turns on Konnan (shocking), allowing Palumbo (no Stasiak) and Reno to come in and beat on the Animals for the DQ.

Rating: C-. The match was fine until the obvious and nonsensical ending. Was there any reason to have Sanders out there with the Animals in the first place if he was just going to turn on them a few minutes later? It was actually working because you had talented guys having a match but of course that wasn’t going to last around this time.

Okerlund asks Norman Smiley for help but Smiley is too busy trying to get out of the hardcore division. With no help coming, Gene thinks about doing a hurricanrana.

Tank Abbott is annoyed at 3 Count and tells them to get back to the studio to fix the new song. 3 Count doesn’t seem pleased but are you going to argue with Tank?

Demon vs. Great Muta

No Vampiro anywhere in sight to start. Muta fires off some kicks but charges into a boot in the corner. Demon slowly beats on Muta with his really lame offense, including a snapmare and suplex for two. Thankfully Muta, who is more uninterested here than horrible, comes back with his kicks and starts working on the knee. Cue Vampiro to make sure this doesn’t get interesting as Demon makes his comeback. Vampiro throws Muta a kendo stick, which the referee doesn’t seem to mind, to beat Demon down again. The dragon screw leg whip is broken up by an enziguri, only to have the green mist set up Muta’s moonsault for the quick pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as this story continues to bore everyone half to death. I have no idea why I’m supposed to care about Vampiro, Demon and Muta having these random matches against each other while Vampiro tries to be a less talented (and shorter) Undertaker. Another dull match though with Muta just going through the motions, though can you blame him?

Post match Demon gets beaten down some more and Vampiro promises to destroy Sting.

Someone knocks on Rick Steiner’s door but there’s no one there.

Madden insults Pamela and promises to beat up her sugar daddy tonight. Who knew Gene was loaded?

Misfits in Action vs. Team Canada

Rection/Loco/Cajun here. The fans go off on the Misfits for interrupting the Canadian national anthem which is still odd to see. Skipper can’t keep up with Cajun to start and gets caught in a quick suplex so it’s off to Loco and Carl (with his hard to spell last name, though apparently he’s now known as the Rage). A headscissors staggers Carl so he grabs Loco and hits one heck of a chokeslam to knock him silly.

It’s off to Skipper for a suplex before handing it to Storm for a great looking dropkick. Loco finally gets in a DDT to Storm and makes the hot tag off to Rection. Everything breaks down as Rection cleans house, including No Laughing Matter on Carl, only to have Skipper nail him with the Cruiserweight Title. Storm grabs the Maple Leaf to make Rection tap.

Rating: D+. Quick and mostly inoffensive here but there really isn’t much to see. Team Canada winning in Canada was the only option but the Misfits really aren’t the most interesting team in the world. Does anyone remember why they started in the first place at this point? Now they’re just a military themed midcard stable which has been done so many times before.

Post match Cat comes out and makes himself vs. Storm with the US Title and commissionership on the line.

US Title: The Cat vs. Lance Storm

Storm is defending so Cat elbows him in the face to start, only to dance too much and get caught in a sunset flip. A jawbreaker and shoulder (with Storm landing on his feet) drop Cat but he pops up with the Feliner. The referee takes his sweet time counting though, likely meaning Carl was late running to the ring with the Canadian flag for the DQ.

Cat promises vengeance on Nitro.

Rick Steiner yells at Pamela (why do people hate her so much?) and a piece of the set falls on him. Scott Steiner comes in to yell at people.

Mark Madden vs. Gene Okerlund

Let’s get this over with. Madden is in a Steelers jersey and says when he kills Okerlund, every coroner on the planet will swear it was old age. Gene is in what looks like a local hockey jersey, a Canada hat and sunglasses. They make it a street fight just because. Before the match, we have a posedown with Madden teasing taking his shirt off. A single forearm drops Mark but he comes back with a few chokes.

Cue Smiley but Carl (WAY too much of him tonight) cuts him off. This brings out Vito to fight Carl as Gene gives Madden a right hand for the most awkward two count of all time. Madden loads up a Vader Bomb but here’s Pamela to hit him low and give Gene the pin. Too short to rate but they kept this goofy enough to prevent this from being horrible.

Pamela kisses Gene during the celebration.

Here’s your weekly sitdown interview, this time with Jeff Jarrett. Jeff talks about wrestling being ahead of the curve for years and they’re right in the middle of that at the moment. He sees the problem as people learning to wrestle in six months at the Power Plant and then showing up on Nitro without learning how this business works. Quite true actually. The fans are the only ones that can change that but Jeff goes into a discussion of wrestlers who want it because they’ll put in the effort to learn every time they’re in the ring.

As for leaving the WWF, Jeff hasn’t looked back and knows it was the right decision. Jeff thinks WCW is starting to get it, even though they’re down right now. Tony brings up the New Blood Rising match and calls it the match of the year. Jeff doesn’t agree (good) and thinks he could have done better. The match was good and he respects Booker T., who should be a model of what wrestlers should be. Jeff wants to bring the workrate up in WCW but backstage issues have been causing them a lot of problems. Imagine what could happen if they kept going in the right direction.

This interview, while far less infuriating because Jeff was absolutely right on a lot of things he was saying, continues the trend of having no real point. Jarrett was out of character here, which probably confused most of the fans watching this. It made sense to me because I got what was going on, but most fans would have been wondering why he was so nonchalant about losing to Booker and wasn’t threatening Tony with a guitar.

In other words, these things continue to only entertain people who already know what Jarrett or others are talking about and really offer little to the masses. Hence why it’s longer than any match on the show, because that’s what these shows exist for: to entertain everyone other than the viewers at home.

Kidman tells Vito that he’ll have his back against Carl tonight. Apparently Vito vs. Reno is family business.

Big Vito vs. Carl Ouellet

Carl jumps him to start and gets in a quick slam, only to miss a middle rope legdrop. Vito hits his own legdrop, followed by a top rope elbow (still looks pretty good) for two. Back up and Carl grabs a powerslam but his top rope splash hits knees. A middle rope headbutt gets two more for Vito as they’re moving far better than you would expect here. They chop it out until Vito knees him in the ribs, setting up the inverted DDT for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Much better than I was expecting here, even though I really didn’t need to see Carl involved in three different matches tonight. Vito isn’t ever going anywhere with his generic Italian character but he does seem to actually be working hard with it. Ouellet on the other hand needs to get out of here already as he’s just not that good.

Post match Reno comes in and Rolls the Dice on Vito, only to have Kidman come out and dropkick a chair into Reno’s face. Palumbo, O’Haire, Jindrak and Sanders run in and eventually lay Kidman out, only to have the Filthy Animals run in for the save. Storm and Skipper come in but are held off, only to have Mike Awesome run out to clear the villains away.

Rick Steiner is being taken away in an ambulance, apparently due to being hit with a pipe by Goldberg. Glad to know we didn’t have time to see that.

Here’s Kevin Nash for his weekly non-match. Hall isn’t here because they were out having a good time last night and he’s not recovered yet. So Scott is just traveling around the world, following WCW wherever they go? That’s rather sad. Nash isn’t going to bother calling out Goldberg tonight because he knows Bill is scared of him. That brings him to Booker, who he’ll take the title from at Fall Brawl. Cue Booker to disagree, even though he respects Nash. They’ll give the people what they want at Fall Brawl but Nash promises not to go after Booker tonight. They shake hands and Nash lays Booker out with the usual to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was actually one of the better Thunders in a good while despite the show just being there. Nothing on this show really mattered and they’re just kind of meandering towards Fall Brawl with no real direction. Now that being said, I’ll take a lame show over the horrible Nitros they’ve been airing anytime. Nothing on here was so bad that I didn’t want to keep watching (Madden vs. Okerlund was short and it involved Pamela) and there was very little shooting (angle wise at least) to mess it up. Somehow this passes for better in WCW these days though, which is just sad.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2000
Date: January 23, 2000
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,231
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

After sitting through 1998 and 1999, this is my reward. What we have here might be the best Rumble show of them all with one of the best matches ever and a great Rumble on top of it. 2000 is the best in ring year the company ever had and this was a great way to kick that year off. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Cactus Jack challenging HHH for the world title in a street fight. This is that “one of the best matches ever” that I was talking about. The idea is simple: Cactus wants the title back and he’s facing HHH in a street fight, which means HHH is in WAY over his head. We’re in Foley’s hometown in Foley’s match with Foley’s most hardcore character. How can this not be a masterpiece?

Kurt Angle vs. ???

Angle is undefeated at this point. Kurt says he’s a real winner here, unlike the New York Knicks. This is goofy Kurt, which means he’s hilarious. He says that the mystery opponent must be scared to come face him, but the opponent needs to take a deep breath, come out here, and face Angle like a man. The self-help thing here is hilarious. The fans chant WE WANT TAZ….and here he is!

Kurt Angle vs. Tazz

Tazz pounds away on Angle and hits a HUGE backdrop to send him to the floor. Angle escapes a suplex in the aisle (painted like a street with a big cab hanging above the entrance, which looks like an alley. It’s really cool) and takes over. Back in and Kurt hits a forearm for two and chokes away in the corner. A belly to belly puts Tazz down but Angle goes up and gets crotched. Tazz hits a super Tazplex for two before getting rolled up for two. Angle gets two more off a bridging German before walking into a release German from Tazz. We unleash the suplexes on Kurt before the Tazmission ends Angle’s undefeated streak.

Rating: C+. This was short, but to say it was an effective debut is an understatement. The place ERUPTED when Tazz won which is exactly the point of the opening match. See, this is what you call LISTENING to the audience. WWF knew they had to appeal to the ECW fans and what better way than to have Tazz debut here? Today, Tazz would be in some comedy match and would likely lose, because Heaven forbid that the fans get what they want in one city for one night.

Angle does a stretcher job.

We go to the Hardys in the back and get a clip of them and the Dudleys putting each other through tables. Terri, the Hardys’ manager here, is told to stay in the back. She would be gone from the team soon, thank goodness.

Tazz says Angle is just the first victim.

Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

I believe match #1 or #2 in a series of roughly 8000 and it’s an elimination tables match. Bubba praises John Rocker of the Braves who had recently gone on a massive anti-New York rant in Sports Illustrated. The Hardys hit the ring and the match starts fast with Bubba hitting the Bubba Bomb on Jeff. No tags here thank goodness. Bubba sets up a table in the ring but before he can get another one, Jeff takes him out with a HUGE flip dive.

Jeff gets sent into the steps as Matt escapes a powerbomb through the table. D-Von suplexes Matt as Jeff CRACKS Bubba in the head with a chair. In a SICK spot, Jeff tries to run the railing but Bubba throws the table at Jeff, knocking him out of the air. That sounded GREAT. The pairings trade off and Bubba loads up the backsplash through the table, only for Jeff to come back and try a double superplex. D-Von moves the table but doesn’t stop the suplex.

Matt brings in a ladder because this might as well be a TLC style match. We head to the floor where the ladder is set up in front of a table with Bubba on it. Matt dives through Bubba through the table just as Jeff dives in from off camera with a splash, sending Bubba through the table in another awesome looking spot. So it’s 2-1 now with Jeff leaning a table up against the barricade. The steps are set up on their end and a table is set up like a bridge between the steps and the apron.

D-Von is placed on the bridged table but moves before Matt dives through him. He moves AGAIN to avoid a diving Jeff, sending him through the leaning table. Cool sequence there by Ninja D-Von. Apparently Bubba doesn’t have to leave. Ok that makes things more interesting. The Dudleys set up two steps in the ring and put a table across them before hitting a HUGE powerbomb on Matt to eliminate (in a sense) him. The tables are LOUD tonight too. Jeff gets beaten into the aisle but Matt quickly follows, only to get WHACKED in the head with a chair.

The Dudleys stack up four tables in front of the entrance (it’s the MSG setup where the entrance is opposite the cameras). Matt gets put on the tables and Jeff is CRACKED in the head again to break up the save attempt. Bubba climbs onto the taxi over the aisle to splash Matt, but remember that wouldn’t win the match. Jeff climbs up after him (I’m not sure where D-Von went) and blasts him with a chair, knocking him through two of the tables (still doesn’t win). Matt puts D-Von on the table and Jeff dives off the taxi with the Swanton through D-Von through the table for the win.

Rating: B+. This was AWESOME with all four guys being young and hungry here. The Dudleys were out to prove themselves and the Hardys were out to show they could hang in a fight. They had already proven they could fight in a violent match like the ladder match, but this was a brawl instead of a high flying match. REALLY fun stuff here though and well worth a look if you haven’t seen it. The Dudleys would get the titles next month, setting up the first triangle ladder match at Mania.

Angle gets a concussion test and complains that being choked out is illegal.

It’s time for the Miss Rumble Bikini contest with Sgt. Slaughter, Tony Garea, Moolah, Johnny V, FREDDY FREAKING BLASSIE and Andy Richter from Late Night with Conan O’Brien as judges. Jerry gets to emcee of course. The contestants are Ivory, Terri, Kat, Jackie, BB (You shouldn’t remember her) and Luna. The idea here is that Kat legitimately took her top off (full exposure too, the only intentional female nudity in WWF history) at Armageddon and more nudity was promised here.

Ivory doesn’t want to do it but eventually does. Terri does her usual skin colored one which we’ve seen before. Lawler freaks out over her bending over the ropes. Jackie…no one cares. BB isn’t bad but again, the whole point of this is for Kat to win. Luna won’t show. Kat is in a bikini made of bubble wrap. Creative if nothing else. The judges start tallying their scores but here’s Mae Young to enter as well. She takes off her robe, and THERE is the nudity (it was fake). Mae wins to complete the joke. Lawler’s reaction of “OH MY GOD I SAW THEM” is priceless. Mark Henry comes in to save our collective retinas.

The recently hired Coach doesn’t have much to say from WWF New York.

Chyna and Jericho, the co-IC Champions, argue over who gets to wear the belt to the ring. There was a double pin in a title match and they became co-champions as a result, which is a pretty creative idea.

Angle says he’s still undefeated. Rock would pin him on Smackdown a few weeks later.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chyna vs. Hardcore Holly

You know Jericho is fired up to be in MSG. He talks about how awesome his championship celebration will be, as it will make the millennium celebration look like his sister’s seventh birthday party. Holly piefaces Chyna down to start before getting in a slap fight with Jericho. Chyna gets sent to the floor for the Slaughter fall, leaving the blondes to fight for a bit. Holly hits that perfect dropkick of his but Jericho comes back with the forearm.

They slug it out until Holly tries a rana (huh?), only to get caught in the Walls. Chyna makes the save, basically turning heel at the same time. Chyna sends Holly to the floor and gets drilled by Jericho. Holly and Chyna go to the floor where Jericho tries a dive but slips and only hits Holly. Back in and there’s the handspring elbow and DDT from Chyna to the Canadian for two. Everyone heads to the floor where Jericho saves Chyna from a chair shot. Back in and both champions go up for a kind of double splash for two.

They both tried for a cover and a fight breaks out as a result. Chyna escapes a belly to back suplex and hits Jericho low, followed by a Pedigree for two on Holly. Chyna goes up but gets caught in a modified Doomsday Device (cross body instead of a clothesline) for a very close two. That probably should have been the finish. Now Jericho loads up a superplex but gets crotched for his efforts. Holly gets superplexed by Chyna but gets two on her off the bounce. Chyna chairs Holly in the head and puts on the Walls, only to have Jericho break it up and hit the Lionsault for the undisputed title and a BIG pop.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good and too short to get bad. It could have been on Raw but see, back in 2000, there was this crazy idea of finishing angles on PPV. I know that’s insane now and everything ends in a big match on Raw or rather just stops happening one day, but back in the old days, they ended like this. Match was fine.

Rock is worried about two and only two men in the Rumble: Crash Holly and Headbanger Mosh. Cole (minus facial hair) suggests maybe Rock should be worried about, say, Big Show. Rock says go make a glass of shut up juice (not one of his better catchphrases) and tells Big Show he doesn’t care what he thinks. He guarantees to win the Rumble right here in New York City and the place eats it up. I want one of those jerseys he’s wearing.

Jericho says he said he’d win and he’ll lead the Jerichoholics like a pied piper.

Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are defending and there’s a backstory that doesn’t deserve to be listed. Who would have thought that THIRTEEN YEARS LATER the Outlaws would be on house shows for the WWE again? The Outlaws are heels here but they’re over like free beer in a frat house here in New York. The APA storms the ring and the beating is on quickly. Bradshaw and Billy officially get us started with Billy taking a fast beating. Both guys tag as the referee is adjusting his ear piece.

Faarooq imitates Dogg’s dance before getting double teamed a bit. Bradshaw breaks up the shaky knee drop and everything breaks down. The Clothesline kills Billy and there’s the spinebuster to Roadie….but Billy pulls the referee out. The ref is bumped and Road Dogg is hit with a double powerbomb. X-Pac runs in and kicks Bradshaw’s head off. The Fameasser to the future JBL retains the titles in like two and a half minutes. This had to be cut for time. The Outlaws would lose the titles to the Dudleys next month and that would be the end of the team.

Dogg rhymes about keeping the titles.

We recap HHH vs. Cactus Jack. HHH won the title the night after Summerslam from Mankind via cheating. Big Show got the title at Survivor Series but lost it back to HHH in January. Mankind stood up to the newly formed McMahon-Helmsley Era and got beaten down for his efforts. Foley got fired and we had a fake Mankind get humiliated. Rock then said that every single wrestler would walk out and form the Rock Wrestling Federation if Foley wasn’t rehired. See how different storylines could be back then? Mankind got HHH to agree to a street fight at the Rumble but got beaten up for his efforts.

This led to an AWESOME promo on Smackdown, where Mankind said he wasn’t ready to face HHH in a street fight, but he knew someone who did. He took off his mask and ripped open his shirt to reveal Cactus Jack, scaring HHH to death. These two, as in Cactus Jack and HHH, had fought in 1997 in the match that basically brought hardcore to the WWF and they did it in MSG, with Cactus winning clean. This was an excellent story and there was a VERY real feeling that Cactus could pull this off, because HHH was in WAY over his head. Check out the build to this match as it’s some of the best stuff you’ll EVER see.

WWF World Title: Cactus Jack vs. HHH

Street fight. It should also be noted that Foley lost about 30 pounds inside of a month and a half and is by far the slimmest you’ll ever see him look here. HHH does the long slow walk to the ring which makes things feel even more epic. Stephanie heads to the back which is probably a good thing. Dang I miss that big title. It’s SO much better looking than the stupid spinner version. Even now when it doesn’t spin it doesn’t look like something special but rather something like a toy. The belt on HHH looks classy.

Cactus looks like and animal and HHH looks terrified. Jack wins a quick slugout and pounds HHH down into the corner. We head to the floor for a swinging neckbreaker on HHH and a legdrop onto the apron knocks the Game back to the floor. HHH is rammed into various metal objects but comes back with a bell shot to take over. NOW we get to the fun part as the first chair is brought in.

Back in and Jack charges right into a chair shot like an idiot. Granted for him, that’s playing the character right. HHH goes to unhook the buckle instead of covering for some reason and Jack pops up to clothesline the champ down. There’s a legdrop onto a chair onto HHH’s head for two and we head outside again. HHH gets backdropped into the crowd and the beating begins again. JR: “They’re out in the sea of humanity.” Jerry: “Humanity? JR we’re in New York.”

HHH gets rammed into something made of metal that we can’t see and they head into the aisle. Cactus sets up a wooden pallet and suplexes HHH onto it before screaming in his face. This isn’t falls count anywhere mind you. There’s a trashcan to the head and HHH gets rammed into the steel doors. The fans chant for Foley as he gets suplexed onto the trashcan. The crowd is just RUTHLESS against HHH here as they head back to the ring. The aisle is really short so it’s not a long walk.

Jack rams a knee into HHH’s head to drive it into the steps and it’s back inside now. This is almost all Jack so far. There’s the 2×4 in barbed wire but HHH hits him low to get the board away. Some shots to Cactus’ ribs and back have him in trouble and HHH looks at the board as if to say “did I just do that?” Cactus blocks a shot to the head and hits HHH in the balls with the board. The double arm DDT puts HHH down as the referee takes the board out of the ring, drawing the loudest booing of the ngiht.

Cactus wants the board back and beats up the Spanish announce team who the board was left with. He gets a board (clearly not the same one but that’s likely for safety reasons) and after the referee is crushed, HHH gets hit in the forehead with the wire. The board is driven into HHH’s forehead and he’s busted something fierce now. The referee is back up now and we get the most famous spot of the match with Jack ripping the wire across HHH’s cut to make him scream.

Cactus tries to piledrive HHH through the announce table (same thing he won the 97 match with) but HHH counters with a backdrop. JR: “The champion is bleeding like a horse.” When does a horse bleed? HHH is bleeding from his leg which is a rare sight to see. The place LOUDLY cheers for Foley and we head back inside. The Pedigree is countered into a slingshot into the post and a bulldog on the wire gets two.

HHH has a spot called to him about the steps before the Cactus Clothesline takes them both to the floor. Cactus charges but gets hiptossed into the steps, banging his knee in the process. You know a Flair disciple like HHH knows how to work on a knee. Back inside and HHH clips him down before picking up the barbed wire for another shot to the knee. HHH pulls out some handcuffs in a flashback to last year.

Cactus fights back and hits HHH in the head with the cuffs in a smart move. The cuffs are locked up a few seconds later though and HHH starts pounding away. The steps are brought in but Foley comes out of nowhere with a drop toehold to send HHH face first into the steel. A low blow keeps HHH down and Cactus bites away. HHH gets back up and grabs a chair which he literally BREAKS over the back of Cactus. They head outside again and Cactus takes some shots to the head from the chair.

Cactus says hit me again but before HHH can crush the skull, Rock pops out of nowhere and blasts HHH in the head with a chair of his own. A cop comes in and unlocks the cuffs, freeing Cactus. HHH starts backpedaling fast but gets caught on the Spanish Announce Table. The piledriver hits this time but the table DOESN’T BREAK.

We haven’t gotten violent enough yet, so here’s a bag of thumbtacks. Stephanie comes out (complete with snakeskin choker in a nod to Cactus) and HHH comes back with a backdrop onto the tacks. There’s the Pedigree but Cactus kicks out at two to blow the roof off the place. It doesn’t last long though as a Pedigree ONTO THE TACKS finally ends Cactus.

Overall Rating: A+. FREAKING OW MAN! If there’s a match that made a guy into a legitimate force better than this one made HHH, I’d love to see it. This was an absolute war with both guys destroying each other for about 27 minutes. The place never gave up on Foley and it’s easily one of his best matches ever. This is one of the best brawls ever and yet again it’s well worth checking out.

HHH is taken out on a stretcher but Cactus pulls him back into the arena. There’s a barbed wire shot to the head and the place cheers like crazy for Mick some more.

Linda is at WWF New York to talk about HHH’s title reign. Wait no she’s not. She would NEVER be involved with something involving bloodshed. And Stephanie is oh so precious and does SO much work for charity don’t you know.

Royal Rumble

The intervals are “two minutes or less” according to the Fink. We get a quick look at Shawn’s miracle save in 95 which would play a role in the coming weeks. D’Lo Brown is #1 and Grandmaster Sexay is #2. Feeling out process to start with Sexay countering Brown’s running powerbomb into a rana. A middle rope missile dropkick puts Brown down and Mosh, complete with cones on his chest, is #3.

Kai En Tai, two guys ticked off about not being in the Rumble, runs in and are immediately thrown out. Nothing else happens for a minute or so until Christian (with his AWESOME solo theme called Blood Brother. Look it up) is #4. Nothing happens again so here’s Rikishi to a POP at #5. Mosh, Christian and Brown are quickly dispatched, leaving Grandmaster and Rikishi.

Scotty 2 Hotty is #6 to complete the trio…..and it’s time to DANCE! The place absolutely loses it over this until Rikishi clotheslines and eliminates them both. Note that it is NOT a heel turn and just business, which Too Cool is ok with. Rikishi dances a bit more on his own and the place is still erupting.

The company took notice of those eruptions too, and the three of them wound up feuding with the Radicalz for the next four months or so, resulting in Too Cool getting the tag titles and Rikishi getting the IC Title. In other words, they were given a stupid gimmick, got it over, and were rewarded. Today, you get to lose the US Title to Jack Swagger and become a jobber to the stars if you get yourselves over. As I typed that, Steve Blackman came in at #7 and was eliminated.

Viscera is #8 and you know New York loves itself a fat boy battle. Big Visc rams into him a few times but misses a charge and three straight superkicks put him him. Big Boss Man is #9 and won’t get in, drawing some good heel heat. He stays out on the floor until Test is #10. Test pounds away on Boss Man to finally get all three guys in there. Boss Man hits Test low but Rikishi hits Test low to put both guys down.

British Bulldog is #11 as things slow down a bit. There’s a low blow for Rikishi as well and Bulldog tries to get him out until Gangrel is #12. Kai En Tai comes out again and Taka is thrown over the top into a 360, landing face first on the floor. FREAKING OW MAN. This would be played multiple times over the rest of the match, much to Lawler’s amusement. Edge (starting to mean something and over in New York) is #13.

Boss Man takes a Banzai Drop and Bob freaking Backlund is #14. He comes out to Hail to the Chief as he’s legitimately running for Congress in Connecticut at this point. You would think that would have been a tip for Linda’s future but alas no. Everyone goes after Rikishi and dumps him out to get us to the second part of the match. To recap, we’ve got Boss Man, Bulldog, Test, Gangrel, Backlund and Edge in there at the moment. Jericho is #15 to his third or fourth big pop of the night.

Jericho goes right for Edge in a match that would be for the world title eventually. That doesn’t last long though as Jericho dumps Backlund, who yells at some fans before leaving. Actually he goes into the crowd to look for Connecticut registered voters. For a guy as bland as he was back in the day, Crazy Backlund is one of the best performances I’ve ever seen.

Crash is #16 and gets a double spanking from Edge and Bulldog. Ok then. Edge is sent to the apron by Bulldog so he punches the British Boy in the balls. Chyna is #17 in the far less remembered Rumble appearance. She goes right for Jericho and suplexes him out in about 30 seconds but gets knocked out by Boss Man almost immediately. Faarooq is #18 and here’s the Mean Street Posse who is also out of the Rumble. Those three and Kai En Tai were all thrown out of the Rumble on Heat so five more guys could be added in.

Anyway Faarooq is quickly dumped and Road Dogg is #19. The crowd does his entrance for him but he runs right into a low blow. The fans want Puppies, a term Road Dogg invented. Crash survives an elimination and Al Snow is #20. Roadie throws out the Bulldog and Val Venis is #21. Funaki runs in on his own and is thrown out almost immediately again. Prince Albert (Tensai) is #22 and there goes Edge.

The ring is getting too full now with Boss Man, Test, Gangrel, Crash, Road Dogg, Snow, Venis and Albert. Dogg continues his strategy: hide in the corner and wrap all four limbs around the bottom rope. I’ve heard worse ideas. Hardcore Holly is #23 and we’re getting down to almost only big names left. Crash gets knocked to the apron but gets back in AGAIN.

Now we get to the final part of the match as The Rock is #24 to bring everyone to their feet. Boss Man is the first victim, being eliminated by a spit punch. Venis and Test double team him but Rock hangs on in the corner. He beats up Hardcore for a bit as Billy Gunn is #25. He goes right for Rocky but since no one believes Billy Gunn is going to eliminate Rock, the Great One throws out Crash to give himself something to do instead. Dogg has shifted over to another corner now.

Big Show, Rock’s opponent for this match, is #26. Rocky pounds on him immediately but Albert sticks his fat head in Rock’s business. Show dumps Gangrel and Test before going to stomp on Rocky. Bradshaw is #27 and is out in about 30 seconds at the hands of the Outlaws and the Mean Street Posse. Kane is #28 complete with the still sexy Tori. Venis gets thrown out almost immediately and Show stupidly gorilla presses Gunn down instead of out. Kane knocks Albert out as Godfather is #29. The Ho’s are especially good looking tonight.

Funaki comes out for the fourth time. JR: “For the love of Pete.” Jerry: “No that’s Funaki.” X-Pac is #30 which was announced in advance. The final group is Road Dogg, Al Snow, Hardcore Holly, Rock, Gunn, Show, Kane, Godfather and X-Pac. Snow dumps Holly and Show puts Godfather out. Rock dumps Snow to get us to six. Billy dumps a talking too much Roadie just before getting dumped by Show.

We’ve got X-Pac, Kane, Big Show and Rock as the final four. I’ve seen far worse. Rock throws out X-Pac but the referee is with Kane who is fighting the Outlaws on the floor. Pac gets back in and the guys pair off. Show sends Rock into Kane for a big boot as the giants choke each other. Pac kicks Rock down and Kane hits a pretty good enziguri and an even better slam on Big Show. Pac kicks Kane out and a Bronco Buster on Big Show.

Rock dumps X-Pac and we’re down to two. The spinebuster sets up the Elbow but since IT’S JUST A FREAKING ELBOW DROP, Show gets up and chokeslams Rock down. Show takes WAY too much time though and Rock holds onto the top rope, sending Big Show out to go to Wrestlemania. Awesome ending to an awesome match.

Rating: A. AWESOME Rumble here with the absolute right ending. This was the Rock’s Rumble and there was no other person who should have won it. The only part that was a little dull here was the middle but it’s certainly not bad. This followed the three part structure as all great Rumbles do and as usual, it worked like a charm. Great Rumble and one that might have a claim to best ever.

Rock says he’s going to Wrestlemania when Big Show comes in and knocks him to the floor. Show stands in the ring as Rock leaves to end the show.

Overall Rating: A+. This is one of the best shows the WWF has ever put on. Period. There isn’t a bad match on the whole card, the crowd is ON FIRE all night and you have two excellent matches to round out the show. I can’t imagine anything in the next 12 years surpassing this one and I can’t recommend it highly enough. Outstanding show.

Ratings Comparison

Tazz vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A-

Redo: C+

Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: A

Redo: B+

Chris Jericho vs. Chyna vs. Hardcore Holly

Original: C

Redo: C+

New Age Outlaws vs. Acolytes

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

HHH vs. Cactus Jack

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Royal Rumble

Original: A-

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: A

Still great and still the best Rumble ever.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/19/royal-rumble-count-up-2000-match-of-the-decade-maybe-yeah/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Nitro #253
Date: August 14, 2000
Location: Skyreach Place, Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

We’ve gotten through New Blood Rising and now it’s time to get ready for another of WCW’s grand pay per views in Fall Brawl. Booker T. is still World Champion and now gets to defend against Kevin Nash, who survived the totally real triple threat last night. I’m not sure why but I have a feeling this show is going to be bad. Let’s get to it.

We open with Russo and Tank Abbott in the ring with Vince in full on heel mode, ranting about getting rid of someone a month ago. That piece of censored has been gone ever since and now Russo is going to make another example out of another piece of censored on live TV. Russo is here tonight to fire Goldberg on live TV.

However, Brad Siegel won’t let him do that because the fans love him. Well screw the fans and screw Goldberg. Hudson: “He doesn’t need the practice.” Tank is here to beat Goldberg up once and for all and Russo yells at some more fans. Apparently Goldberg doesn’t know the script or the storyline because he doesn’t come out. Since no one comes out, Russo tells production to go to a break. Good grief. I mean….good grief man. This is how they open the show? That’s their best idea?

We come back with a camera on the announcers and Russo demanding that they show the clip. That sends up to a video of Goldberg coming out to fight Tank during the break. Wait or is this live? Goldberg easily gets the better of it and threatens to break Tank’s arm as Russo freaks out AGAIN and demands that we go to a second break inside of twelve minutes.

Apparently Russo has booked Nash vs. Steiner tonight because last night’s match didn’t count. Again I say: whatever. Oh and Booker vs. Jarrett again.

Shane Douglas/Reno vs. Big Vito/Kidman

Before the match, Shane promises to hurt Kidman again. It’s a brawl to start of course with all four fighting on the floor and Madden freaking out over the chance of someone attacking the table. Vito easily fights out of a double team because Reno and Shane aren’t the best fighters in the world. Kidman finally stops chasing Torrie around and cross bodies both of them down. As usual we have no tagging as Vito clotheslines Shane out to the floor. Kidman gets crotched on top but Vito is able to drop a top rope elbow for the pin on Reno.

Rating: D. Total mess here as is almost the case when WCW tries to put together a match. The idea of having two feuds put together into one match is usually a good idea but the Shane vs. Kidman feud is getting tiresome and Reno vs. Vito isn’t really a feud yet. It might be nice if we were told why they were fighting in the first place but I doubt WCW knows yet.

Shane pulls out some handcuffs but gets tied to the turnbuckle for his efforts. This brings out Jindrak, O’Haire and the Perfect Event to beat down Kidman and Vito. Reno leaves with them.

The Filthy Animals want to keep up their relationship with the Cat and offer him a personal assistant named Miss Jones. I think you get the implication here.

David Flair is still covered in mud from last night. Major Gunns comes up to ask if Miss Hancock is ok but David just walks away without saying anything.

We look back at the mud match from last night as David is in the ring. He rambles about what happened last night and how scared he is. Gunns is freaking out in the back while the Misfits play cards. As David keeps going on about being scared, Gunns comes out crying, saying it’s her fault because she kicked Hancock in the stomach. David really should know that already shouldn’t he? He yells at Gunns a lot until Hancock comes out, apparently just fine after last night. Again, shouldn’t David know that Hancock is here and fine? Hancock of course says she’s pregnant and Davis is so thrilled that he struts.

Here’s Lance Storm for a match but first up he gets to address his home country. Storm says it’s good to be home and wrestling in front of some real wrestling fans. WCW has thrown people at him left and right but he keeps making them tap out to the Maple Leaf. Cue the Cat to insult the Canadian fans quite a bit. It seems that a lot of the people in WCW really don’t like Canada. Cat rips on Storm for using the Canadian rule book last night and grants Mike Awesome a rematch tonight with himself as guest referee.

US Title: Mike Awesome vs. Lance Storm

Storm is defending and Cat is referee in the first rematch from last night. Awesome charges to the ring and gets dropkicked down in the first ten seconds for a very delayed two count. A splash gets two for Mike as the fans are all over the USA. Mike drops a slingshot splash to the back for two more as this is one of the most all over the places face/heel dynamic I’ve ever seen. Storm dropkicks him down again but stops to argue with Cat, allowing Awesome to grab a German suplex.

The Awesome bomb plants Storm but Jacques Rougeau comes in to attack Cat. Mike goes to beat him up too but Carl Ouellet, as in Quebecer Pierre, comes in to double team Awesome. The Cannonball (their old team finisher) sets up the Maple Leaf. Cat gets back up but here’s Elix Skipper of all people comes out and lays him out. Ouellet grabs Mike’s unconscious hand to make him tap out with Rougeau calling for the bell.

Rating: D. So the people who are usually heels cheated to beat the cheating faces who are acting as heels with the help of a bunch of guys who may or may not be Canadian after cheating like crazy to face reactions last night. All this happened during a mostly lame match which featured a newly formed heel stable. You can add Storm to the list of things completely overbooked in Russo’s world.

Post break Storm officially forms Team Canada and hands Ouellet the Hardcore Title. Skipper gets the Cruiserweight Title, which is actually a clever way to get the titles off Storm without jobbing him (again). Cat runs in with a ball bat and says the new champions are defending their titles tonight.

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Booker T.

Booker is defending in another rematch from last night despite there being no real reason for Jarrett to get another title shot. No hype or anything here of course, making it feel less important than a house show main event. Booker starts fast with a clothesline but Jeff kicks him low to break up a sleeper. Jeff’s high cross body is rolled through for two, only to have him kick Booker right in the face.

We hit the chinlock on the champ for a bit before the clotheslines have Jeff in trouble. Booker’s side kick doesn’t hurt the knee (not a factor so far) so he picks up the guitar, only to hit the referee by mistake. Here’s another referee so Booker can hit the ax kick but Jeff hits him in the knee. The Stroke knocks Booker silly but here’s Goldberg to go after Jeff for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Well done on making the champion look like a loser in a match that didn’t mean anything because it didn’t need to be here on a nothing show. This could have been anyone against Jeff, or at least could have come later in the show after a few quick promos from both guys. Why do that though when you can fly through it as fast as you can?

Goldberg says that’s one down and two to go, implying Russo and……who actually?

Scott Steiner literally puts his finger in Pamela’s mouth and threatens to destroy Goldberg tonight.

Hardcore Title: Carl Ouellet vs. Norman Smiley

Carl is defending and Norman wants nothing to do with hardcore anymore. They quickly head outside with Ouellet doing as much stuff as you can do in a hardcore match. Hudson actually tries to keep track of the hardcore rules as Norman stops Carl from setting up a table. Tony one ups him by bringing up Storm’s hardcore rules from last week.

A trashcan to the head puts Norman down again and the table is set up in the corner. Norman’s comeback is quickly stopped as the announcers actually suggest that Goldberg might come out during this match. That’s so stupid I can’t even make fun of it. The table is pulled out of the corner but Norman avoids the cannonball and falls on Carl for the pin and the title.

Rating: F+. Well so much for the false hope of Norman having something new. Instead we now get to see him as the reluctant champion because it’s going to lead to comedy. Heaven forbid someone talented and over gets to move on to something important because he can still get to do something “funny” instead. At least Carl, who looked like he was in sweats sitting around the house, didn’t keep the title that long.

Nash says there’s no second chance for Steiner until Scott Hall gets his second chance.

Tag Team Titles: Filthy Animals vs. Dark Carnival

Muta and Vampiro are defending after winning the titles in an impromptu match last night. Konnan challenges Kronik for no apparent reason so here they are to do commentary. Great now we can almost guarantee a Harris Brothers appearance. It’s Juvy and Rey challenging for the titles here. The Twins jump Kronik during the champs’ entrance so we lose commentary.

Rey gets beaten down to start as the Animals take Kronik’s place, allowing Konnan to ramble on about Mexican strategy. Muta kicks Rey into the corner before it’s back to Vampiro so we can keep things dull. A Muta cheap shot stops Rey’s comeback bid and it’s Disqo trying to fire him up. They head outside with Rey staying in trouble until Vampiro kicks Muta by mistake.

The hot tag brings in Juvy to clean house as everything breaks down. Juvy gets misted and there’s the dragon screw legwhip to put him down. We’re not done with the interference though as Sting comes out (Tony to Konnan: “Was this part of your strategy?” Konnan: “Let’s see if it works and then I’ll tell you.”) and destroys Vampiro and Muta, allowing Disqo to put Juvy on Muta for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This was actually one of the better matches tonight until the screwy finish. That’s the story of the night: something that could be interesting is ruined by whatever overbooked nonsense that Russo has for us. At least it might mean we’re done with Vampiro and Muta as anything important, at least for the time being. That being said, was there any reason to not have the Animals win the titles last night and cut out a bunch of extra stuff?

Post break Demon wants Sting in a four corners match along with Muta and Vampiro. Cat: “Aren’t you supposed to say trick or treat?”

Cruiserweight Title: Elix Skipper vs. Kwee Wee

Skipper is defending and grabs some early rollups for two as Madden promises to deal with Gene Okerlund later tonight. Kwee Wee grabs a nice belly to back and stomps away as he’s already going angry. A suplex into the corner sends Skipper back first into the buckle (that looked good) but he’s still able to sidestep a charge and send Kwee Wee crashing out to the floor. Hudson makes sex jokes about Madden as Skipper does the Matrix move to a big reaction.

The champ gets two each off a dragon suplex and a middle rope cross body as the fans are way into Skipper here. Kwee Wee tries a suplex but Skipper kicks his feet to fall backwards, rolling into a DDT. With the referee conveniently looking away, Skipper loads up a ring, only to get caught in a Blue Thunder bomb for two. Elix finally gets in a ring shot to knock Kwee Wee cold and retain the title.

Rating: B-. Well that was a surprise. Sometimes you find a pairing that just has a good match and that’s exactly what you got here. Kwee Wee is much more character than anything else but at least he had one good match to his name here. Skipper is a great option as a high flier, especially after the division has completely died in the last few months. Match of the night by far here.

Post match Kwee Wee beats up the referee before settling back down into his normal self.

Sting vs. Demon vs. Vampiro vs. Great Muta

Officially a four corners match. During the entrances, Madden issues a challenge to Okerlund for a one on one match. Vampiro and Muta wait on the apron to start as Sting beats on the Demon. Sting takes Demon down so the other two come in with Vampiro stomping the mat, only to have Sting actually sell it. As in there was at least a foot between Vampiro and Sting but he sold it anyway. Sting fights back, gives Muta a Stinger splash and puts on the Deathlock. Demon offers to make the save but hits Vampiro with a kendo stick instead, leaving Muta no choice but to tap. Nothing match but it was more shenanigans.

Vampiro cleans house with the stick and take Sting away.

Post break Vampiro is about to stab Sting because we haven’t ripped off Undertaker’s embalming stuff yet.

Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner

This is yet another rematch but Nash brings out something in a box. We’ve got less than five minutes to go in the show as Nash grabs a mic. He’s seen a lot of Scott Hall signs around here lately and stops for a mostly non-existent Hall chant. Everywhere he goes, Nash has been asked what Hall is up to.

That brings him to the box, which contains a Hall cardboard cutout which says “hey yo.” Nash makes fun of it for wearing an NWO shirt and does a survey about wanting Hall back. Enough of that though as it’s time to call out Booker T. Cue the champ but Steiner runs out and blasts Booker with a pipe. Goldberg pops up on screen, holding Midajah by the hair. He loads her up for a Jackhammer through a table but the screen cuts off. Steiner runs to the back to find Midajah through the table to end the show in another bait and switch.

Overall Rating: F+. So we had a bunch of nothing matches, five title matches, four title changes (two of which actually took place in a match), the setup for Goldberg vs. Steiner and a big SHOOT out to open the show. This was another week with way too much going on because the idea of just letting stories advance as they would naturally is unthinkable around here. I’m running out of names to call the same Russo problems here and I have a feeling that’s going to become an even bigger problems as we get to even dumber stuff.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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New Blood Rising
Date: August 13, 2000
Location: Pacific Coliseum, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Attendance: 6,614
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

I’m really not sure what to say about this one. It’s borderline legendary in how horrible it is due to the levels of Russo pumped into it with one match in particular. I’ve seen this show a few times before and every time I watch it I can’t believe what I’m seeing. There’s no way around this so let’s get to it.

First and foremost: is there a reason this show is named after the New Blood when they haven’t been a thing in about a month at least?

As I load this up on the Network, I keep expecting some warning to pop up telling me it’s not worth it.

The opening video shows Jeff Jarrett breaking a bunch of guitars over various people. Then we cover the real main event of Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner in what is being teased as a shoot. As opposed to all the other matches which are worked shoots you see. This one is going to be a REAL shoot.

In an odd camera shot, we see the New Blood Rising logo in the corner of the arena but it’s quickly covered by pyro from one of the ring corners. Who shoots from there?

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

This is a double ladder match for 3 Count’s recording contract as well as their gold record. Tank Abbott is with 3 Count and has a shirt with the nipple areas cut out for no apparent reason. So 3 Count wants the record because it’s theirs and the Dragons want the contract so 3 Count can never record again. I’m not even going to try to make sense out of this mess. Oh and you have to tag in a ladder match.

Jamie and Shane get things going but everyone realizes that this is a ladder match so they sprint up to the entrance to make this interesting. Shannon makes a quick save on Yang as Tony thinks he’s going for the gold record because the ladder is hung underneath it. Ignore the fact that the contract is on top of the record so he’s under both of them. Yang gets crotched on a ladder in the corner as the fans are way more quiet than they should be for a six man ladder match.

Shannon splashes Yang and covers for a second because no one understands the rules of this mess. Three straight splashes crush Yang against a ladder in the corner as Scott asks the stupid question of what label is on the contract. Yang gets up again, only to be down onto the top rope. This hasn’t been his night so far.

3 Count goes outside so Jamie can hit a huge dive for a good reaction. We get a second ladder so Shannon can pull Yang off with a sleeper drop. Shane neckbreakers Jamie off as well, leaving Evan to suplex Kaz down to put all six on the mat in a heap. Yang gets a ladder superkicked into his face but the Dragons come back with a pair of spinwheel kicks to get one of their only advantages.

Kaz charges into a powerslam on the ladder as Evan seems to have a bad ankle. Shannon does a springboard over the top to catapult the end of the ladder into Jamie and Shane’s faces. That always looks sick. Shannon is thrown back in and gets splashed by two Dragons, allowing Jamie to grab the gold record. Not that it matters as Tank knocks him out and steals it back, earning himself some homophobic chants.

Evan gets crushed between a ladder as Tony yells at Madden for not understanding the logic behind this match. Jamie powerbombs Shannon off the ladder but Tank shoves over both ladders to take out a member of each team. Evan climbs up and gets the contract for the win (I guess?).

Rating: B. Enjoy this one people because it’s the last good match you’re going to see for about two hours. These six guys would give the fans everything they could and then be asked to do it again week after week because WCW didn’t care about any of them. I know Russo’s mantra continued to be about pushing the young guys, but giving them the same matches over and over again without letting them get anywhere isn’t a push. Still though, fun stuff here, even if it was nothing compared to what Edge and Christian and company were doing at the time.

Tank leaves with the record and the contract.

The Filthy Animals want to referee the Tag Team Title match. As in four referees in an eight man match. On top of that, they want a shot tomorrow night. Rey promises to make sure Cat beats Great Muta as an incentive.

Great Muta vs. The Cat

Cat talks some trash and hits Muta in the head with the mic to get things going. Some kicks set up a dancing elbow (I love Rock but good night I wish the People’s Elbow wasn’t copied so much) but Muta grabs the arm as Hudson talks about the “legitimate heat” between these two. Tony goes on about how lame “the marquee says wrestling” line is as the fans want Bret. Cat fires off some strikes but is mesmerized by the power of Muta’s bald spot, allowing Muta to kick him back down.

Cue Tygress (fans: “WE WANT PUPPIES!”) as Cat kicks Muta out to the floor. Back in and they hit each other a few more times until Muta snaps off a dragon screw leg whip to take over. Muta misses the moonsault but sprays green mist at Cat. This isn’t a DQ for whatever reason, allowing Tygress to hit Muta with a chair for two. Instead Cat fires off a bunch of kicks for the pin.

Rating: D-. Standard Nitro match here (yeah a D- is pretty standard these days) with Cat showing why he should almost never be in the ring. He’s a great talker but that doesn’t mean he’s anything more than a guy who kicks a lot. Muta continues to look bored and I still don’t know why they brought him back in.

So we’re just under half an hour into the show and it’s been quite watchable to this point. That’s about to fall apart.

Buff Bagwell can’t find his mom.

Buff Bagwell vs. Positively Kanyon

This is Judy Bagwell on a pole, which means Kanyon drives her in on a forklift. See because she’s a bit overweight. For reasons that I’ll never understand, Kanyon wanted Judy to be his Kimberly. Kanyon calls her a battleax a few times until Buff finally figures out that his mom is on a freaking forklift in the arena.

Buff runs out to throw Kanyon over the barricade to start the fight in the crowd. I’m assuming you win by pin here but I doubt Russo ever got past “so we put her on a forklift.” They get back to the ring for the opening bell and Kanyon grabs a middle rope Russian legsweep for two. Kanyon cuts off the turnbuckle pad because this doesn’t have enough going on yet.

Buff jumps into a sitout Alabama slam for two and we hit the chinlock. The Kanyon Cutter is broken up and Buff drops him forehead first onto the exposed buckle for two. Now the Kanyon Cutter connects for two…..and here’s David Arquette, who hits Buff with a hard hat for two. A double Blockbuster is enough for the pin on Kanyon, winning Judy back for Buff…..I think?

Rating: F. The match itself was watchable at times but they brought David Arquette back for a two minute cameo. This was like watching a movie with a gorilla in a top hat and tails standing in the corner doing nothing. Judy on the forklift was such a distraction and really didn’t change anything, making the match a combination of boring and WHAT AM I WATCHING. In other words, the Russo Special.

Arquette gets a Kanyon Cutter post match.

Lance Storm arrives with a police escort. You would expect Storm to arrive on time.

Goldberg isn’t here due to a motorcycle accident. And so it begins.

Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Perfect Event vs. Misfits in Action vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

Kronik is defending, Rection and Cajun are representing the Misfits and the Filthy Animals (as in Mysterio/Disqo/Tygress/Juvy are ALL guest referees). Konnan sits in on commentary to give us a ridiculous thirteen people involved with one match. Before the match Disqo threatens everyone, saying he has the authority to have them wrestling polar bears in Nome, Alaska if they step out of line.

Palumbo and Adams start things off as Disqo is the in ring referee. Chuck is quickly sent to the floor so it’s off to Stasiak, who walks into a full nelson slam. Cajun vs. Jindrak now with Mark taking over via some technical stomping as the fans loudly chant…..something. O’Haire comes in to punch Clark, followed by a nice spinning kick to the head for two. A hard slam drops O’Haire but Disqo counts slow.

Rection comes in and gets a slow count as well as there are far too many empty seats opposite the hard camera. Tygress gives Rection a Bronco Buster but the General raises his boot to block Rey’s attempt. We get the Sting falling headbutt/low blow spot on Stasiak before it’s back to Cajun for the dancing punches. That means another slow count as the announcers have no idea whose side the Animals are on.

Rection comes in and starts cleaning house as everything breaks down. Palumbo’s great right hands stagger Rection and it’s off to a sleeper. Disqo checks the arm twice and slaps Rection in the face to wake him up. Palumbo superkicks Rection back down as the fans want Bret again. It’s off to Cajun who is quickly sent outside as everything breaks down again.

The Seanton bomb nails Clark but here’s the Dark Carnival to break up High Times to Palumbo. Clark gives Palumbo the Meltdown for the slowest two count yet so he yells at Disqo. High Times plants Palumbo again but here’s Lieutenant Loco to steal Disqo’s shirt and count the pin, thereby screwing over the Misfits in the process to keep the titles on Kronik.

Rating: D-. What in the world did I just watch? Instead of anything resembling a regular match, this was a bunch of quick segments with Disqo tying everything together (work with me here) until Chavo ran in for the completely illogical ending. I get the idea that Disqo wanted to give the Animals the easiest match possible tomorrow night but this was just WAY too much for what they were going for.

Jeff Jarrett accuses Pamela of wearing Okerlund out last night. He’s been looking for Booker all day long and the champ better have eyes in the back of his head.

Shane Douglas vs. Kidman

Strap match with wins via pinfall. Before the match, Shane says Kidman isn’t man enough to keep up with Torrie all night long (which is nothing like the story of X-Pac vs. Kane with X-Pac using the exact same line about Kane and Tori in a storyline that aired earlier in the year). Kidman ties up the legs to start and Shane is rather irritated. A legdrop gets one for Kidman as Madden goes over the benefits of having a shirt on here.

In one of the funniest and at the same time saddest moments of the show, the announcers try to make fat jokes about Torrie based on that video from Monday. How do you even keep a straight face on a line like that? Shane crotches him with the strap and chokes a bit, followed by the reverse Hennig neck snap (which is actually a cool move). Torrie gets in some choking of his own and it’s off to a knuckle lock of all things.

Since it’s just a knuckle lock, Kidman comes back with a hurricanrana out of the corner and the Low Down gets two. Kidman finally gets smart and takes Shane’s shirt off, meaning they can actually start using the strap for a change. Torrie accidentally hits Shane in the face with a shoe for a near fall, followed by the Pittsburgh Plunge to Kidman for the same. A quick Kid Crusher (Killswitch) gives Kidman the pin.

Rating: D. Another match where there was no need for a gimmick because Russo doesn’t get how to actually run matches. Kidman getting the win was good but the Torrie factor is really starting to drag. The stuff where she used to be with Kidman was fine but I’m supposed to care that she used to be overweight? It doesn’t quite work when she’s a bombshell and one of the best looking women ever in wrestling.

Kidman spanks her with the strap so Shane hangs him in the corner, drawing Vito out for the save. Reno sneaks in from behind and gets beaten up by Vito as well.

Booker arrives and Jarrett attacks him by slamming Booker’s knee in the car door.

Miss Hancock vs. Major Gunns

Rip off the Camouflage and of course there’s mud. An early slap starts the catfight and Hancock does a Muta handspring elbow. Madden gets right to the point and says he wants to see these two lose their clothes. Gunns gets a jackknife cover for two in the ring because the rules are still all over the place. Hancock rips off the top to reveal more camouflage and I’m sure you get the idea here.

After a facebuster gives us the upskirt shot, Hancock loses the bottom half of her dress to reveal camouflage shorts. A cross body gets two for Hancock but she charges into a foot to the stomach. Hancock misses a cross body and goes to the floor holding her stomach. Oh here we go.

Gunns gets posted and Hancock rips off the shorts to reveal a swimsuit bottom. They head up the aisle with Hancock losing her top. Gunns gets sent into the mud and drags Hancock with her as Madden is calling himself daddy. Hancock gyrates a bit and goes down holding her stomach again, allowing Gunns to get an easy pin.

Rating: F. Do I really need to explain this one? The women looked good in their outfits but they’re horrible in the ring and the ending made it even worse. This stuff stopped being interesting a long time ago because EVERYTHING is an angle. You get numb to this stuff after a while and we passed that point nearly eight months ago with Russo.

David Flair dives into the mud to check on Hancock. To get this over with as quickly as we can: yes she was supposed to be pregnant and yes Russo was probably going to be revealed as the father because in Vince Russo’s WCW, he gets to sleep with Miss Hancock. Of course this is treated in the serious voices and made to be something real. Yes really real.

The Dark Carnival wants Demon to prove himself.

The announcers are all serious again and use Hancock’s real name to make sure this is as shooty as possible.

Sting vs. The Demon

Sting repels in from the ceiling and wins with the Death Drop in less than a minute, which included a brawl in the aisle.

Vampiro and Muta come in to beat down Sting. Kronik comes in for the save as Demon walks by the brawl. For no logical reason, Kronik offers to put the titles on the line tonight.

Booker’s knee is being worked on.

US Title: Mike Awesome vs. Lance Storm

Storm, with a bit of a mouse under his eye, is defending and gets the big Goldberg entrance. You can see that Storm is really proud to be here as he talks about getting to wrestle in the greatest country in the world tonight. The extra security is due to his hatred in America and he’s worried about a terrorist attack in the back. It’s not his fault that he threatens the American illusion and he defeats another American hero tonight. As for this match, he’s using rule 32B of the Canadian rule book to appoint a special referee: Jacques Rougeau! As in the Mountie! And not Bret Hart!

After a full rendition of O Canada (which is a big deal here and “not a work” according to Tony), we’re ready to go with Madden in tears. Rougeau will be the outside referee as Awesome hammers away, only to be sent shoulder first into the post. They head outside and Awesome loads up a table, drawing the required ECW chants.

Storm drives him into the barricade for a break but Awesome snaps off a belly to belly back inside. Mike slips off the top to a lot of jeering but quiets the fans down with a wicked sitout Awesome bomb for the pin and the title. That was a VERY close pin and Rougeau says no, which actually seems fair in this case.

We’re not done yet though as Rougeau has the Canadian rule book, which says you need a FIVE count. I didn’t know King Kong Bundy was Canadian. Tony: “Did this happen when we were in Toronto last year?” Awesome slams him for three before grabbing a dragon sleeper of all things for the tap out. I think you know where we’re going here.

The book says a title match is pinfall only so the match continues. Mike throws him down with a release German suplex and a slingshot shoulder gets four. You can imagine how screwy this must be for everyone involved. The Awesome splash gets give to give Awesome the pin (and Storm’s third job in about eight minutes) but this is Texas Death rules (in Canada?) so after a pin, Storm has until ten to get to his feet.

Mike throws a table in but gets chaired in the back for four. In theory wouldn’t you want the five count so you can have another eight or nine seconds to get up? Both guys go up and something like a belly to belly superplex puts both of them through the table. Rougeau rules that the first person to their feet by ten (huh?) wins. Mike is almost up first so Rougeau punches him out at seven to keep the title on Storm.

Rating: C-. I actually didn’t hate this as you could clearly see the idea they were going for. Now it was stupid to have Rougeau as the referee (Heidi would have actually made more sense) and to have the champ job that many times in one night, but there was at least an idea here. The bigger problem here of course is that Awesome didn’t cheat so Storm keeps losing over and over, but the live crowd was going to eat it up anyway. It’s over thinking as always, though it’s nowhere near as bad as it could have been. The action itself worked too so this was actually easy to watch.

Oh and here’s Bret Hart after the match for the Canadian pride moment. You know, because BRET HART would totally go for something like this. I’ve always thought that’s why he didn’t do the referee job here. Can you imagine Bret standing for something this stupid?

Nash doesn’t buy Goldberg’s motorcycle story and says he’s going over Steiner and getting the title back.

Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Dark Carnival

Kronik is defending in case you didn’t see them enough earlier tonight. Tony brings up Canadian rules and Madden slips up by saying Vampiro is from Canada, making the whole thing even screwier. Clark shoulders Vampiro for two to start and a big powerbomb gets the same. Muta gets choked in the corner and it’s back to Vampiro to get powerslammed for two.

It’s off to Adams and the villains start in on the leg….which goes nowhere as it’s quickly back to Clark for the Meltdown. For some reason there’s no cover so Muta mists the referee by mistake. Vampiro breaks up High Times but the Harris Twins of all people return to give Clark an H Bomb, setting up the moonsault for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D-. Good grief I can’t stand Vampiro. Every time I see him in a match, cutting a promo or just being there in general I can’t stand him. Now he gets a title, though given how insane this division has been lately, I can’t imagine him holding onto it for that long. The worst part here is the Harris Twins vs. Kronik, which could set a new standard for horrible.

Booker says Jarrett will have to kill him to take the title. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. As usual, this is a feud that is totally fine and has told a completely acceptable story of the old champion getting annoyed as the new star. The knee injury is find for a plot point to advance the story as well. However, almost no one remembers this because of how ridiculous the rest of this show is, which is really a shame.

Quick recap of the triple threat match, which is designed to look like a SHOOT. Not a “shoot”, but a SHOOT. They’ve been arguing over who has to do the job (using that term) and it’s going over the heads of 99% of the audience who just wants to see people fight.

Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner vs. Goldberg

The winner gets the title shot next month. No Goldberg to start due to the motorcycle accident. Tony tells us to pay extra attention to see if there’s anything out of the ordinary. Nash takes him outside to start and sends Steiner hard into the barricade. Here’s a taped up Goldberg about a minute in to go after Nash with a chair. With Nash down on the floor, Steiner clotheslines Goldberg and drops an elbow for two.

Goldberg comes back with a flying shoulder and the Bret Killer kick, drawing Nash up from the apron for a big staredown. Hudson tells stories about Starrcade 1988 (yes 1988) when Nash was on the booking committee and put himself over Goldberg. Steiner comes back in to save Goldberg and gets two off a belly to belly. Tony interprets Steiner yelling at the referee as him not being on the same page with everyone else.

Goldberg suplexes Steiner down but Nash clotheslines them both. A big boot drops Goldberg but the Jackknife is broken up. It looked like a simple counter but IT’S A SWERVE because it’s really him not following the script. Russo, in his MANLY sleeveless shirt, tells Goldberg to get back in but Goldberg walks to the back.

The announcers freak out that this is Goldberg not following the script, even though it looked like a pretty basic counter to the powerbomb. I love how we’re supposed to buy Kevin Nash and SCOTT STEINER as the professionals here. Tony: “What are they going to do now? Improvise?” This is just so bizarre to hear because it’s clear that they’re trying to sound like they’re shooting. There are shows where you can hear the raw audio and it sounds NOTHING like this, mainly because the announcers aren’t very good actors.

Midajah comes out as Steiner takes Snake Eyes. The referee goes down and Midajah hits Nash low to give Scott two. Nash fails at a DDT and goes after Midajah so Steiner grabs a sleeper. That goes nowhere so Nash kicks him in the face and the Jackknife is good for the pin. And that’s a shoot of course.

Rating: F. I can’t get mad at this. I’m trying and I just can’t do it. Stuff like the Hogan stuff last month and the Russo destroying Flair nonsense makes me angry but this was just……dumb. This felt like seeing a kid do something he wasn’t supposed to do and then listening to the ridiculous explanation that they come up with to try and get out of it. Instead of getting mad at them, it’s almost amusing to see them trying so hard to be clever and leaving so many holes in the story along the way.

I don’t think I have to explain why this was stupid and why it completely defeats the point of professional wrestling in the first place, but I really can’t get mad at it. Maybe it’s the shoot interviews that set it up or maybe I’ve just reached the point where Russo isn’t worth getting annoyed at anymore. It’s one thing to yell and rave about something stupid when it’s clearly for one person’s (namely Russo) benefit. Instead, this felt like Russo actually thought he had a good idea but he’s too stupid to realize how bad it was.

After sitting through the first two hours of this show, there are so many other things to get mad at. Like Judy Bagwell on a pole for instance. That felt much more cruel and low brow than this because it was all about Judy’s looks. The Hancock stuff is stupid because it’s not something I’m ever going to believe. This on the other hand felt like they were trying for something interesting and just failed, which is a lot harder to get mad about. It’s still stupid, but Judy Bagwell on a Pole is the far more infamous moment for a reason: that was lame and stupid whereas this was more a failure, which I can live with much easier.

Finally, this is a rare occasion where watching the TV leading up to it helps a lot. They basically said “yeah we’re going to do something stupid” for the last three weeks and then this is what we got. With the Hogan vs. Jarrett mess last month they treated it seriously and then did the stupid shoot. This time they basically advertised a screwy finish and you were watching to see how bad it was. On top of that, as lame as it was, you actually got a match. Steiner vs. Nash isn’t great but it’s better than “pin me, pay me.” It was a lame idea and didn’t work for most of the fans, but this could have been WAY worse.

Tony throws us to the recap video for the World Tag Team Title match, meaning Booker vs. Jarrett. I guess it’s the Andre the Giant coming out in him. We’ve covered this already: Booker won the title last month so Jeff is trying to get it back by injuring Booker’s knee in advance.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett is challenging and Booker’s knee is in horrible shape coming in. Booker fights out of the corner to start and quickly takes it to the floor to send Jeff into the barricade. Back in and the champ crotches him against the post (Madden: “That’s a walk down Slapnuts Boulevard.”) but the missile dropkick hurts his knee again. You know you don’t have to ask Jeff to work on a limb twice so he wraps the knee around the post.

A chair shot crushes the knee even more and Booker gets caught in a half crab. That goes as far as a half crab is going to go so Booker grabs the spinning sunset flip out of the corner for two. A double clothesline puts both guys down and the knee is suddenly fine enough for an ax kick and Spinarooni. There goes the referee and Jeff blasts the knee with the guitar. Jeff grabs a bad looking Figure Four for WAY too long until Booker grabs the rope. The referee breaking the hold ticks Jeff off so we get a second ref bump.

Booker’s knee is fine again and they set up a table at ringside, only to have Booker do something like a Book End off the apron through said table. Jeff hits the new referee with a chair and then Strokes Booker onto the chair for two from a fresh ref. Booker tries a neckbreaker which turns into a Diamond Cutter (to be fair how often do you see a main event swinging neckbreaker?) onto the chair for two. The Book End retains the title.

Rating: C. This was fine, albeit overbooked. Booker vs. Jarrett is a good example of a pairing that really doesn’t need a lot of extras on the side and they would have been better just having a wrestling match. The ref bumps got annoying in a hurry but that’s the main event style of the time. Not a great match or anything, but it really needed to be something more simple.

The fans bail out immediately and pelt trash into the ring to end this mess.

Overall Rating: F+. I’ve heard this called one of the worst shows of all time, maybe even THE worst of all time and it just isn’t that bad. I wouldn’t even call it the worse show of the summer as Great American Bash offered NOTHING of value. This show had an entertaining opener and a totally fine main event which more than make this a better show than some of the others of this era.

Now that being said, this is another disaster on Russo’s watch because he can’t just leave well enough alone and let the show work. It’s not a good show but for the most part everything goes by fast enough (longest match is the main event at just under fifteen minutes) that it doesn’t really infuriate me. Stuff like the Judy Bagwell match and the Canadian Rules match (which at least got a really good reaction) are really more things you just roll your eyes at and move on to the next match.

The show is really bad, but its reputation is far worse than it actually is. At least with this one you have some entertaining matches and a feeling that they’re trying to do something positive instead of flipping the fans off and laughing at them for not getting behind the ideas. There are still WAY more problems here that need to be fixed and this show was horrible, but somehow it’s an improvement over some of the other stuff they’ve done this year.

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Thunder
Date: August 9, 2000
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone

It’s the go home show for New Blood Rising because we’re just that lucky. The big story continues to be the potentially SHOOT triple threat because Goldberg, Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash, because when you think of Kevin Nash, you think of a shoot. Oh and the World Title is in there somewhere too. Let’s get to it.

Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire vs. Perfect Event

Right now, someone tell me who Kronik is defending against on Sunday. I’d be shocked if most of the regular fans of this show could answer that at this point. This is the result of Kronik wanting both teams to come out here for a fight which of course means let’s have the challengers lose again before their REAL title shot on Sunday.

After some stalling (of course) it’s a quadruple team on Adams early on. Stasiak gets in a jumping back elbow but Adams shrugs it off and hits a quick gutbuster, allowing the tag off to Clark. It’s off to O’Haire for two off a clothesline as this is acting more like a handicap match than a three way tag.

Clark gets in a quick DDT and brings in Adams for a full nelson slam. A piledriver gets two on Stasiak and everything breaks down. The tilt-a-whirl slam gets two on O’Haire as Jindrak gives Clark a nice hurricanrana out of the corner. Sean pops up for a Seanton bomb but Stasiak wants the pin. That earns Shawn a Meltdown and High Times with Adams running interference so Clark can get the pin.

Rating: D. I’ve watched the match and I’m still not sure whether or not this was a three way or a handicap match. It was mentioned as a title match, but there was no indication of how many opponents Kronik had here. You have a title match here but WCW really didn’t care enough to explain who was challenging. Just….dang man.

Muta and Vampiro come out for a distraction, allowing Juventud Guerrera to run in and steal the belts again.

Mike Awesome and Heidi come in to Cat’s office so Cat can put him in a flag match against Lance Storm later. The Dragons appear, have their heads rammed together, and are thrown out.

Daffney has made a Watch Crowbar Wrestling shirt to wear at ringside. Crowbar wants to tell her something but changes his mind.

Jeff Jarrett has a guitar with Booker’s name on it.

Crowbar vs. Elix Skipper

Elix, ever the rookie, accepts a handshake and gets pulled into a German suplex. Crowbar sends him to the floor for a dive, followed by the apron splash. I’ve missed Crowbar being around here as he has more energy than half the people on these shows. Cue Smooth with flowers for Daffney, who doesn’t seem to mind.

Crowbar tries a standing Lionsault but Skipper Matrixes away from it in an awesome looking counter. A Death Valley Driver puts Skipper down but Crowbar goes outside and yells at Daffney about the flowers. Skipper dives on Crowbar and destroys the flowers in a truly evil move. Back in and Crowbar can’t hit a hurricanrana, allowing the Overdrive to give Elix the pin.

Rating: C. These were two hidden gems near the end of WCW and you could see them having fun out there. Sloppy fun, but still fun. Like I said, Crowbar looked like he was actually trying every single time out there and that’s an effort you can’t ignore. Skipper on the other hand was an athletic freak who could do things most people just can’t do. That made for a fun match with an angle that actually made sense as everyone could see Crowbar loved Daffney so it was easy to exploit. In other words, my guess is Russo/Ferrara had nothing to do with this.

Jarrett asks Jimmy Hart where Booker is. The answer is not here so Hart gets a guitar. At least he could probably give us some good music with that thing.

Okerlund and Bagwell talk about Kanyon, who appropriately comes in and issues a challenge for a tag match tonight. That means it’s time for a mystery partner, which can only end badly. Like only. As in there is no other option.

Tank Abbott and 3 Count are here to perform their old song because Tank’s new single isn’t ready yet. I heartily approve of the classics.

3 Count/Tank Abbott vs. Misfits in Action

Shane gets in trouble to start with Rection doing a little dance before dropping a leg. A pop up powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana as the announcers try to explain the double ladder match on Sunday. Everything breaks down with Shane getting destroyed. Karagias gets in an argument with the fans on the floor and it’s Flair/Hancock here to go after Hancock. Tank cleans house with right hands and here’s a ladder for no logical reason. Shane and Shannon put it on the top for a top rope splash/legdrop combo for the pin on Cajun.

Rating: F. I have no idea what the point of this was, much like I have no idea if they remember that the Dragons and 3 Count are fighting on Sunday as they haven’t had any contact in at least a week. This felt more like an angle than a match and it says a lot when Hancock can’t save things.

Post break Rection yells at the Misfits and a mixed tables match is made later with Gunns/AWOL vs. Flair/Hancock.

Crowbar yells at Smooth about the flowers (how did he know Smooth gave them to her if he didn’t see the delivery?) but Smooth says he’s an operator.

The Dark Carnival attacks the Jung Dragons because they’re just jobbers for midcard acts. Cat makes the save and puts himself in a tag match against Muta/Vampiro with a mystery partner. So to recap that’s two mystery partners and one mixed tag.

Video on Sunday’s triple threat.

Okerlund hopes Pamela isn’t the mystery partner because she’s nuts about him.

Cat gets a mystery partner, even though the partner doesn’t like his fashion.

Mike Sanders vs. Norman Smiley

Sanders is now Above Average, meaning he’s on top of the B list at 49%. That’s not how above average works but whatever. Let’s make this a hardcore match just because of reasons. Smiley declines because he’s retired from hardcore wrestling (thank goodness), only to get a chair to the back. Norman whips him over the barricade so Mike hits him with a ladder.

They head backstage where Sanders puts a trashcan over Norman for a beating with a broom. There’s a stretcher here for no logical reason so Sanders throws Norman on top. Both guys being thrown through tables, only to have Jarrett pop up and nail Norman with a guitar. Apparently the pin has to take place in the ring though so here’s a wheelbarrow to bring them back to the ring. Sanders tries a chair shot from the middle rope….and knocks himself out to give Norman the easy pin.

Rating: D-. So what was the point here? Norman being dragged back into hardcore? That’s the best they’ve got for these two? Sanders can clearly talk but people aren’t going to care if you have him lose a match he challenged Norman to. At least he can talk though and that’s the best thing you can have, especially here.

The Dark Carnival broods in the back. Demon shows how much depth he has by growling.

Mike Awesome vs. Lance Storm

Non-title, which is actually the right move for a change. Storm gets in a good line by saying Mike better be a good fat chick thriller because he’s horrible as a career killer. They brawl on the floor to start with Mike getting the better of it as you might expect. Storm tries grabbing a chair and gets it punched into his face, setting up a very quick Awesome splash.

Mike goes for the flag but Heidi, the woman we’ve known for like a week, turns on him by hitting him with the American flag. She takes off her shirt and shows off a new one saying “Canadian and Proud of it!”. The Maple Leaf goes on and Heidi hands Storm the flag for the win. As usual, this is too much character development and something that could have been done at the pay per view instead of the big mess they wound up doing instead.

Kidman challenges Shane to a strap match, which Torrie can teach him a thing or two about. Pamela finds that way funnier than it should be and Kidman steps to the side to kiss Syren (Reno’s girlfriend/Nitro Girl).

Sgt. AWOL/Major Gunns vs. David Flair/Miss Hancock

Tables match to make sure this is as bad as possible, or to make sure that David Flair or Sgt. AWOL doesn’t have to job. The guys slowly brawl to start with Wall having to figure out how to make David look threatening. While this is going on, the women yell at each other a lot. Hancock takes over with choking as David sets up a table in the ring. Wall kicks him in the face but gets his eyes raked by Hancock, only to have Gunns choke her. Hancock whips her through the table for the win a few seconds later, making this one of the shortest table matches in history.

Wall chokeslams David through another table post match.

This Week in WCW Motorsports. Do we have any proof that those teams have actually been shut down? It really wouldn’t surprise me if they were still around to this day.

Kanyon is talking to his partner.

Doug Dillinger tells Cat that “he’s here”.

Kidman vs. Reno

Kidman starts fast with a headscissors to send Reno outside, setting up a nice plancha (are any of Kidman’s dives ever bad?) to drop him again. Back in and Reno gets smart by grabbing Kidman for a pair of quick suplexes. When all else fails, throw the guy around. A third suplex stops Kidman’s comeback but he grabs a quick Low Down for two. Not that it matters as Reno Rolls the Dice, only to hammer on Kidman instead of covering.

Cue Syren, allowing Reno to bring in a chair. For some reason Reno tries a powerbomb onto the chair and you know what that means. This brings out Torrie for another distraction, allowing Shane Douglas to come in with the chain to knock Kidman out. The referee actually sees it for a change though and it’s a DQ.

Rating: D+. I like both guys and you had Syren and Torrie in the same match so it’s kind of hard to get mad here. Reno is a good power guy and has a nice selection of suplexes to go with a cool look, which is why he never went anywhere in wrestling. The Kidman vs. Shane feud needs to wrap up soon but I can tolerate it as long as Torrie is around.

Vito runs out to make the save for no logical reason. Reno and Vito seem to know each other. Like, aside from working together.

The Artist, now in street clothes, finds Paisley and I believe Papaya from Nitro giving Kwee Wee a massage, leading to a brawl. I still have no reason to care about the Artist.

Jarrett comes out again and makes Penzer read a message, basically saying that it’s Booker’s fault for everyone getting hurt tonight. Jeff is going to keep screwing with stuff until the end of the show and there’s a guitar shot for Penzer. He guarantees a title win on Sunday. So Jeff is now stealing Kanyon’s schtick?

Here’s your weekly shoot style interview, this time with Booker T. Bash at the Beach was the greatest day of his life because he finally reached his top goal in wrestling. It meant a lot to him to see the company give him the shot and the fans accept him with everybody raising the roof. Booker talks about coming up through the Dallas territories and how much it means to come all the way to the top over all the years.

Tony brings up Russo talking about the old guard being shoved aside so people like Booker can rise up. Booker doesn’t feel any pressure because he’s at home in the middle of the ring. His knee is still banged up and will probably never be the same but he’s still going to be defending the title every night. The fans have paid their money and Booker is going to give them his best every single time.

This wasn’t a shoot and felt a lot more like a talk with the man outside the ring. In other words, it was far easier to sit through than the usual nonsense that didn’t tell us anything we would want to hear about. That being said, this wasn’t exactly riveting stuff but at least it didn’t make me go nuts sitting through it. As usual, Booker is the voice of reason around here.

Buff Bagwell/Gene Okerlund vs. Positively Kanyon/???

Kanyon’s partner is…..oh sweet goodness it’s Mark Madden. Let’s get this over with. Judy sits in on commentary as I’m assuming this is supposed to be funny. Madden and Gene start things off but Gene actually decks Kanyon off the apron. It’s off to the actual wrestlers with Bagwell in control until Madden knees him in the back. Buff goes after him as Judy’s voice has me begging for this to end even more.

Back in and Buff gets two off his double arm DDT but another Madden cheap shot lets Kanyon run him over. Kanyon misses a splash though and it’s hot tags Gene and Madden. Everything breaks down and Madden’s low blow has no effect (with Tony pointing out that Gene didn’t sell it). Apparently Gene is wearing a cup, which winds up on Madden’s face. Of course it does. Buff throws in a Blockbuster to give Gene the pin.

Rating: D. This could have been a lot worse as they had the wrestlers do most of the work. I get the idea here and it was cute at times but giving this five and a half minutes was just a bad idea. Hopefully this ends the story with the announcers and leaves us with serious material….like Judy Bagwell on a forklift.

Kanyon takes out Buff with the Kanyon Cutter but Stevie saves Gene, while also holding Judy back.

Sting/The Cat vs. Great Muta/Vampiro

Not a bad mystery partner if you don’t mind a lack of mystery. It’s a big brawl to start of course with Sting sending Vampiro into the announcers’ table, much to Stevie’s approval. Tenay: “Do you think Sting will ever forget being set on fire by Vampiro?” Cat gets dropped and it’s time for some double teaming inside. Muta’s power drive elbow sets up some choking as we’re a far cry from the classics these two had ten years earlier.

It’s off to a front facelock from Vampiro and the referee actually doesn’t allow a tag he didn’t see. So this is a rare match with rules. The Stinger splash hits Vampiro’s raised boot but a double clothesline puts both guys down. Cat comes in off the lukewarm tag and gives Muta a really bad looking hiptoss. Sting stands around while Cat fights both guys and here’s Demon (who Tony calls Disciple for the second time in the match). The mist takes Sting down but Cat kicks Vampiro in the head for the pin.

Rating: D-. Cat really doesn’t belong in the ring and the story isn’t working either. It’s basically Sting fighting a bunch of guys who look like evil clowns and are doing a lame Ministry impression. That’s the best you can do for one of your biggest stars of all time? Lame main event, but you kind of had to expect that given who was involved.

Muta gives Cat the red mist and Demon puts Sting in the Scorpion Deathlock to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. There were some better efforts here but just too much bad to overcome. With the same mystery partner angle running twice and a cooky mixed tag tables match thrown in, there’s only so much something like Skipper vs. Crowbar can do. That means it’s time for New Blood Rising though, meaning I’d probably want to watch this show three times over instead.

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Monday Nitro #252
Date: August 7, 2000
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

It’s the go home show for New Blood Rising and the show has gone off a cliff again. In this case there’s the issue of a missing Russo interview from Thunder, which is likely going to be a major plot point because Russo continues to be the star of the show despite not actually being on it. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on the three way which is the real main event on Sunday.

The three of them (Goldberg, Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash) arrived earlier. Oh wait Goldberg was just arriving.

There’s a mud pit by the stage. Oh geez just get it over with already.

Jung Dragons vs. Dark Carnival

There’s a ladder next to the ring. It’s going to be one of those kind of shows isn’t it? Tank Abbott sits in on commentary and it’s Vampiro vs. Jamie to open things up. Since Vampiro isn’t very good, he starts with a release Awesome bomb and clotheslines Jamie out to the floor. The announcers discuss Tank recording a song with the Dragons as everything breaks down. The ladder is brought in so Yang can dive onto Muta, only to have Demon throw Yang to the floor. Kaz enziguris Muta as things settle again, allowing Yang to hit Muta low for two. Everything breaks down and Muta mists Yang, setting up the moonsault for the pin.

Rating: D. We had three breakdowns and a ladder along with green mist in a five minute match. As usual, almost everything on these shows are so overbooked that I lose track of what the match is supposed to accomplish. The action was fine while it lasted, but there was way too much stuff going on for it to work.

Post match Sting comes in and cleans house with the bat. Sting says that’s three out of four and the only one left on the list is Goldberg. He wants Goldberg out here right now but we go to a break instead.

Back with Nash, Steiner and Goldberg being held apart by security backstage. Steiner gets away and comes to the ring to face Sting. A challenge is issued and Steiner destroys him with a pipe.

Here’s Cat to yell about Nash, Steiner and Goldberg. We get a semi-infamous line here as Cat says he would send them home but someone might pay them, which is a reference to Scott Steiner refusing to do a job and getting a paid vacation over the Fourth of July weekend. As for tonight, if any of them mess with things, they’re going to jail. Steiner is going to face Sting in a pipe on a pole match (Cat: “I’m going to put that pipe in the middle of the ring and hang it from a pole.”) because the fans want to see it.

That means it’s time to dance but here’s Lance Storm to interrupt. He’s won three titles in three weeks so Cat needs to make Storm vs. Booker T. for the World Title tonight. Cat agrees because booking that match for a pay per view in Canada with Booker fighting against all odds pales in comparison to a Jeff Jarrett match.

Kidman comes out for commentary and says he’s going to be holding a Torrie Wilson Appreciation Night.

Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

Kronik is defending. It’s a brawl to start with Sean superkicking Adams while Clark beats up Jindrak on the floor. Cue the Perfect Event for commentary (of course) as Clark takes out both challengers with a flip dive off the apron. Back in and Jindrak gets two off a springboard clothesline before handing it off to Sean.

That goes badly as well with O’Haire walking into a belly to back suplex and it’s back to Adams for a full nelson slam. High Times gets two on Jindrak with O’Haire making the save. The Meltdown gets the same, making me think Jindrak is the worthless half of the team. The Seanton bomb gets two on Clark but here’s the Perfect Event for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Actually not bad here, even though the high fliers as the heels is a really weird idea. Kronik are fine as the muscle headed champions but they’ve had the titles long enough at this point. That being said, they definitely don’t need to drop them to Perfect Event as they’re one of the least interesting teams I’ve seen in a very long time.

Jindrak and O’Haire help the Perfect Event beat Kronik down with the exercise bars. The Filthy Animals come out to beat the champs down as well. Now the Misfits in Action hit the ring as well to go after the Animals, who run off with the belts. Yay for faction wars!

Post break the Rection sends the troops out to get the belts back to Kronik. Gunns on the other hand wants to throw Hancock in the mud and strip her clothes.

Kanyon tells Torrie to go be his partner in a mixed tag. Torrie: “I’m not just another blonde bimbo in a D-cup bra.” Instead Kanyon kidnaps Pamela Paulshock to be his partner.

Buff Bagwell/Judy Bagwell vs. Positively Kanyon/Pamela Paulshock

The guys start and Pamela stays on the apron for absolutely no logical reason. Buff takes over but stops to strut and pose. Pamela won’t tag in (Madden: “Hey she wants it. They all want it.”) so Kanyon takes Buff down on his own instead. A clothesline puts Buff on the floor and Hudson suggests he tags in his mom. Kanyon shoves Judy off the apron and loads up a Kanyon Cutter on Pamela. Now brace yourselves for this: Gene Okerlund runs in for the save and kicks Kanyon low, setting up a Blockbuster for the pin.

Now we get the Russo interview because we’re just that lucky. Tony promises that Russo will be shooting from the hip here and you can feel Russo’s temperature rising at those insider terms. Apparently this is a different version because some of the stuff couldn’t be said on Thunder or here tonight.

Russo says we’ll hear the truth about what happened at Bash at the Beach someday but for now you would have to talk to the lawyers. Tony brings up Russo leaving the WWF and Russo talks about ratings, including quoting numbers and saying the company has plateaued since he left (wrong). He knows there’s a group here who can thrive if they can get around the politics backstage.

That wasn’t benefiting WCW but now a lot of those people are gone and WCW is improving. The first time Russo was here, he took the ratings from a 2.8 to a 3.4 but then he left. He’s back to do the right thing for the young guys now and Booker T. as champion is proof of that. Tony brings up Russo being on screen in a bunch of angles (his word) and Russo seems very pleased with his Flair feud. He’s happy with never being on TV again, even though he’s shooting (his words) about knowing Flair has a receipt for him.

Russo is from New York and has his eyes on Starrcade which is taking place in Long Island (no it’s not). He wants John Rocker in the ring at Starrcade to give him a beating. For those of you not familiar with 2000 sports references, Rocker was a pitcher for the Atlanta Braves who went on one heck of a rant against New York, making sure to insult almost every group of people you can imagine in the process.

Russo doesn’t care what the ratings are and doesn’t care what Nash, Goldberg and Steiner are talking about doing in the three way on Sunday. They don’t like people they work for but Russo doesn’t like some of the people working for him. “And that’s a shoot.” The finish will be what’s best for the company and that’s that.

I’m almost to the point where I can’t even get annoyed at these things anymore. The worst part is looking back at these interviews and statements that he makes on national television and wondering how so many people gave him job after job over the years. At least here he’s just a year removed from working in the WWF and having real success. After that though it’s been one disaster after another with stuff like this making Russo look like the most out of his mind writer ever.

On top of that, we’re just supposed to forget about Russo being all evil to Ric and accept him as the savior of the company who is standing up for the young guys, apparently none of whom got where they are on their own. No, only Nash, Goldberg and Steiner are actually doing anything on their own. Just as it was before: the old guys are the stars and the young guys are given whatever Russo hands them. What a mess this company is and what a maroon Russo really is.

Sting vs. Scott Steiner

Pipe on a pole match with Sting going off with a chair to start. They head inside with Sting nailing a dropkick but diving into an overhead belly to belly (not a t-bone Tony). Scott takes over with his usual and gets two off the bicep elbow. The announcers aren’t exactly clear on how you win here because they’re not all that bright. Sting tries a clothesline but the referee gets decked, drawing out Rick Steiner. Rick grabs the pipe and throws it to Scott, which apparently counts as a win.

Rating: D-. So the referee didn’t know how to win either? And we had a run-in and a ref bump? On top of that there was barely any reason for the pipe and pole rules as neither guy showed any interest in going for it. This is another great example of how off the wall everything they’re doing right now really is.

Scott hits Sting with the pole and chokes him until Nash runs out with a chair for the save. Security breaks everything up.

Post break, Nash/Sting vs. the Steiners is made.

Mike Awesome and his friend Heidi are out for commentary.

WCW World Title: Lance Storm vs. Booker T.

Booker is defending. Before the match, Storm says he’s going to become an all time Canadian great like Wayne Gretzky, Donovan Bailey, Doug Flutie (American who played in Canada) and Warren Moon (same). Booker starts fast with a spinning kick to the face as Heidi has ham sandwiches delivered. This causes an argument as she wanted donuts but she’ll settle for the sandwiches. Storm sends Booker to the floor for a dive as Madden makes Mama Cass jokes.

Back in and Lance can’t get the Maple Leaf on the bad leg and a superkick is blocked as well. Booker’s two kicks get a near fall but Storm spins out of a German suplex attempt and grabs the Maple Leaf. The chants of USA get Booker over to the ropes and he comes back (with his leg seemingly fine) with a spinebuster for two. A missile dropkick gets the same on Storm but the Book End is enough to put him away and retain Booker’s title.

Rating: B. That might be high but I was having a good time with this, sandwiches and bad comedy aside. Storm has been on a roll since he got here and this was the logical payoff for his angle. I do kind of wish they had built it up more though and not done the whole thing in the span of a month but it’s been fun while it’s lasted.

Post match Jeff Jarrett runs in and goes after Booker’s knee again, including breaking the Canadian flag over the leg. Storm will have none of that and decks Jarrett, only to have Jeff take it to the floor. The guitar hits Heidi though and Awesome is furious. Mike chases Jeff back inside and right into a Book End.

After a break, Jarrett wants a match with Awesome tonight.

A-Wall goes looking for the Filthy Animals and finds the Nitro Girls by mistake, earning him a beating with shoes.

It’s time for Torrie Wilson Appreciation Night. Kidman comes out and apologizes for everything he’s done to Torrie in recent weeks and offers chocolates and champagne to make up for it. We see Shane and Torrie arguing in the back over whether this is legit or not. Here’s Torrie to accept the flowers but she looks a bit confused.

Kidman talks about her sweet sixteenth birthday party and we’ve got another tape. The video shows a good sized woman eating cake as fast as she can, not even waiting for the candles to be blown out. Photos of Torrie at 16 rain down from the ceiling and here’s Shane for a failed save attempt. Instead Reno comes out and drops Kidman with the Roll of the Dice.

MIA and the Animals are brawling in the back but the Animals get into a car with the titles. They open a door and find Kronik waiting with sledgehammers, because that’s where those two stand all the time. Disco surrenders the belts and gets chokeslammed onto the hood of the car.

Major Gunns drags Tygress out to the mud pit but Miss Hancock comes out to jump Gunns, leaving all three of them in the mud. Gunns gets the worst of it.

Mike Awesome vs. Jeff Jarrett

Awesome starts fast and throws Jeff down with a suplex. A Stinger splash in the corner sets up some right hands to Jarrett’s head until he elbows Mike out to the floor. Mike gets in a chair to the back and it’s already table time. Jeff hits him in the ribs with the chair to save himself and they head back inside. Awesome runs up the corner for a back elbow to drop Jarrett again. Ignore the fact that he missed Jeff by a few feet and took him down with the wrong elbow.

Cue Lance Storm with the broken flag for a distraction but Mike clotheslines Jeff’s head off anyway. Storm offers another distraction so Jeff can rip a chain from around Awesome’s neck to knock him down for two. Mike knocks Storm onto the table but walks into the Stroke to give Jeff the pin.

Rating: D+. Not terrible here and it was much more about the storyline development than the match itself. Storm vs. Awesome could have been fun if they had just let them have a match but I’m sure you know how that’s going to go. Fun enough match here though, despite there being way too much going on.

Kwee Wee insults Pamela’s clothes and tells everyone that they won’t like him when he’s angry. There’s a woman with him named Papaya, who Kwee Wee refers to as his wife.

Kevin Nash/Sting vs. Steiner Brothers

Before the match, Steiner threatens to put his foot so far up one of them that they’ll be flossing with his shoelaces. I wonder if we’ll have any mention of Sting and Nash being former World Tag Team Champions. Brawl to start of course with the Steiners being sent out to the floor, meaning it’s time to stall a lot.

Rick and Nash start things off with Big Kev getting in his stuff in the corner. Nash shrugs off some right hands in the corner and slams Rick down to set up a top rope splash from Sting. A rake to Sting’s eyes allows for the tag off to Scott and it’s time for the Tree of Woe choke. It’s back to Rick for two off a belly to belly as the announcers talk about the backstage issues leading into the triple threat.

Sting fights back and dives over for the hot tag behind Scott’s back. Everything breaks down and Sting is tagged back in, only to get suplexed by Scott. Nash powerbombs Rick onto but not through the announcers’ table. Cue Goldberg to break up the Recliner, giving Sting the pin on Scott.

Rating: D-. Yeah what else were you expecting here? No one was really interested in doing anything and it was more about setting up the triple threat than any issues these guys happened to be having. Rick Steiner continues to just be there despite no real reason for having that spot. Well other than being the brother of a crazy man that is.

Post match Goldberg kicks Sting down and stares Nash down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. There was some good stuff in here but not enough to save it. The problem continues to be either the over thinking or the flat out nonsense that they throw in and unfortunately you know it’s only going to get worse. Guys like Booker and Storm can only do so much so enjoy them while you can. Otherwise….egads this place is a mess.

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Thunder
Date: August 2, 2000
Location: Hulman Center, Terre Haute, Indiana
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray, Mike Tenay

New Blood Rising is almost here and these shows just get worse and worse. Monday was another show where it felt like WCW was mad at us for watching them and were trying to get rid of as many remaining fans as they could. I don’t want to imagine how bad Thunder could get. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Lance Storm to open things up. Just like he did with the other titles, he’s renaming the Cruiserweight Title to the Canadian 100 Kilograms and Under Championship. That brings out the Cat to say that Storm is defending a title tonight. Storm: “Which one Cat? I’ve got a bunch of them.” Cat thinks the fans want to see title matches so tonight Storm is defending the Cruiserweight Title against Juventud Guerrera, the Hardcore Title against Norman Smiley and the US Title against the Cat himself. It’s time for the first title defense because why not have it now when you could build it up for later?

Cruiserweight Title: Lance Storm vs. Juventud Guerrera

Storm is defending and Cat dances to the Filthy Animals’ music before leaving. We’re still not ready to go though because Storm has a rule booklet saying that this has to be under Scientific Rules. Therefore, the rest of the Animals have to head to the back. On a side note, shouldn’t this be Chavo getting his rematch instead of Juvy? Storm jumps Juvy to start but gets caught in a bad looking hurricanrana to send him outside. A big flip dive over the top takes Storm down again but he avoids a high cross body back inside.

Not that it matters as Juvy drops him again and gets two off a falling springboard splash. He loads Storm up on top for a hurricanrana, which Stevie describes as “setting up a move here.” Storm stops a charge with a boot in the corner, only to walk into a bulldog for no cover. Instead it’s something like White Noise for two on Storm but he quickly counters a hurricanrana into the Maple Leaf to retain.

Rating: B-. Storm really can do no wrong at this point but I haven’t seen Juvy going this hard in a long time. This was a really fun fast paced match with some good looking high flying and a solid ending as Storm continues to be the best thing going in WCW at this point. How he avoided being screwed up for so long is beyond me but he pulled it off.

The announcers show us a clip from after Nitro with Kronik running in to save Booker and Sting. As in the Sting WHO WAS LIT ON FIRE and seems to be fine.

General Rection yells at MIA as he always does.

Booker arrives and Tony is shocked to see him limping.

Smooth the limo decides Skip Over needs a better name.

Here are Miss Hancock and David Flair with something to say. Hancock asks if she’s the kind of woman who would roll around in mud for a dollar. She thinks the mud might make Major Gunns look better, so here are the Misfits to interrupt.

David Flair vs. Sgt. A-Wall

Wall starts fast with a powerslam and some stomps. David tries chops and stops to strut with the expected result of being launched out to the floor. A chair doesn’t make things any better as Wall punches it into David’s face. Back in and a chokeslam through the table ends David quick.

The Nitro Girls are here (because of course they are) when an unnamed man (soon to be named Reno) comes in to yell at Siren. She says she was with the girls on Monday but here’s Shane Douglas to tell him where she really was. We can’t hear what he says but Reno isn’t happy. See, if you insist on using the Nitro Girls in stories, this is the better way: have them as plot devices to advance stories instead of having them be the story.

Skip Over gives Terry Taylor a piece of paper and Terry says he’ll make it happen.

Jeff Jarrett wants to talk to Vampiro about their elimination tag tonight but Vampiro isn’t all that interested.

Tank Abbott has written a new song for 3 Count. Freaking sweat!

Kidman vs. Elix Skipper

Apparently the paper was the new name, which also includes the moniker “Prime Time Player.” Kidman isn’t a fan and baseball slides him out to the floor. Back in and Kidman sends him into the turnbuckle but Skipper debuts the Matrix move to avoid a cross body. A headscissors puts Kidman down, only to have him come back with a dropkick to the face. Cue Shane and Torrie as Kidman grabs the BK Bomb, only to have Reno come in and lay him out with a rolling cutter (Cross Rhodes). Skipper adds the Rocker Dropper for the academic pin.

Cat promises Mike Awesome a title shot at New Blood Rising if he wins the title tonight. Point for tying up a potential loose end at least.

Shane is in the back again and calls Judy Bagwell a redneck. Bagwell attacks and they’re pulled apart.

Sean O’Haire vs. Shawn Stasiak

Chuck Palumbo sits in on commentary and we look at him as the match starts in the ring. We finally start watching as O’Haire nails a superkick, only to miss a charge in the corner. That means it’s time for generic heel offense a go-go from Stasiak as he chokes and elbows while Stevie talks about ballet for some reason. Stasiak’s Death Valley Driver is countered into a DDT but his comeback is cut short as he’s sent out to the floor.

Palumbo loads up the exercise bar but Stevie pulls him back into his seat. Stasiak gets two off a PerfectPlex (northern lights suplex according to Tony because he’s too distracted arguing with Tenay over Stevie’s level of coolness) as Jindrak and Palumbo fight at ringside. O’Haire pops back up with a spinwheel kick and the Seanton Bomb for the pin.

Rating: D+. O’Haire has talent but he’s certainly still best as part of a team at this point. Stasiak on the other hand would be better off as a driver’s education teacher somewhere in Oklahoma. The guy simply does not have it in the ring and it’s getting more and more annoying to watch him every time he gets in the ring.

Gene Okerlund is in a neck brace while talking to the Bagwells. Buff wants Shane tonight and makes jokes about his performance issues from last week. Judy swears a lot because it’s funny.

Hardcore Title: Lance Storm vs. Norman Smiley

Storm is defending and Big Vito comes out for commentary. The Canadian flag comes down again but the music stops halfway through, allowing Norman to come out with the American flag. We’re not ready yet though as the Canadian rulebook says the title has to be defended with no weapons and the match can only end via submission. Storm isn’t pleased with his dancing challenger so they trade wristlocks instead. A pinfall reversal sequence doesn’t go anywhere so Norman elbows him in the face.

Norman stops to dance though, allowing Lance to come back with a nice dropkick. Vito sounds annoyed that Norman is wrestling in a shirt but Smiley’s splash hits knees. The swinging slam sets up the Big Wiggle but the referee gets bumped, allowing Storm to hit Smiley with the American flag. The Maple Leaf retains Storm’s title.

Rating: C-. See, this is a story that makes sense and is being played out logically. Storm is a guy capable of winning any single match on his own but he needs to cheat when he has so much to do. That’s a logical, well written character and it makes for a good story. As I said before, Storm is one of the best things going today and the simple storytelling is a big reason why.

Vito comes in to break up the hold.

Torrie threatens to sue Judy if she gets in her face tonight.

Shane Douglas vs. Buff Bagwell

Bagwell starts fast by hammering away in the corner and grabbing a swinging neckbreaker. A Vader bomb gets two on Shane so Torrie trips Buff, allowing Shane to get in an atomic drop. Shane snaps (work with me here) off Three Amigos and a powerslam, followed by the Pittsburgh Plunge for two. Torrie throws in a chair so here’s Judy to start a catfight. Kidman runs in and dropkicks the chair into Shane’s face, setting up the Blockbuster to give Buff the pin.

Rating: D. These two just do not have very good chemistry together, though there’s far worse out there. The Kidman and Torrie stuff helps but Shane really isn’t the most interesting guy in the world. It doesn’t help that Buff is almost even less interesting and it’s probably about time to turn him heel again because he’s been a face long enough now.

Post match Torrie goes after Judy again but here’s Kanyon to help beat down Mama Bagwell. Buff makes the save but walks into a Kanyon Cutter onto the chair. Mike Awesome makes the real save.

After a break, Buff gets off the stretcher and says he wants to fight Kanyon tonight. Awesome says he’ll do it himself. Apparently Mike thinks Judy is good looking.

Sting tells Booker that he doesn’t have to fight on that bad leg but Booker wants to take out that sucka.

The Vince Russo interview will not air tonight because “WCW management” won’t allow it. One of the few things they actually build up and then oh forget about it because we’ve changed our mind.

Mike Awesome vs. Positively Kanyon

Awesome has one of his women with him. More interestingly though, Tony says that tickets are going on sale for Nitro on August 28 two days from now. They’re only starting to sell tickets 24 days in advance? Tickets sold for that event: about 4,600 out of about 13,000 seats. I’m sure there’s no connection there. Before the match, Mike reiterates that Judy is good looking.

Kanyon actually charges in so Awesome runs him over with a clothesline. Commentary goes silent for a bit and comes back talking about the three way at New Blood Rising. Stevie actually brings it back to focus as Kanyon hits Awesome low to slam him out of the corner. A sitout spinebuster gets two for Kanyon and a neckbreaker out of the Tree of Woe (not a Kanyon Cutter Tony) gets two more.

Kanyon lays out the referee for no apparent reason and gives a photographer (As in a guy holding a camera and taking pictures. Stevie: “Is that a photographer?”) a Kanyon Cutter. Some more production guys get the same but here’s Judy with a loaded purse to knock Kanyon silly, setting up the Awesome Bomb to give Mike the pin.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match here but Awesome’s gimmick is killing him. Kanyon’s cutters all over the place continue to be entertaining but they need to have Page come back and Diamond Cut him in half at some point. Given that this is WCW, I’d bet on them joining forces because Page respects him now or something.

US Title: Lance Storm vs. The Cat

Storm is defending one more time. Cat interrupts the national anthem one more time and kicks Storm in the face. Back in and they slug it out with Cat taking over before taking Storm down with a low blow. That’s rather lame of him. Storm’s sunset flip is broken up by dancing, a crotch chop, and a shot to the face. You can’t say Cat is just going through the motions out there.

They head outside with Storm superkicking him to take over, followed by the springboard missile dropkick (looks great as always) back inside. Cat comes back with a Feliner to knock Storm into the referee, allowing Great Muta to run in and give Cat one of the best looking dragon screw legwhips I’ve ever seen. The Maple Leaf gives Storm the easy submission.

Rating: C-. It was clear that Cat hadn’t wrestled that often and that he really shouldn’t be very often these days. He wasn’t going to be able to last much longer and that really shouldn’t be the case just four minutes into a match. Storm wrestled three matches tonight and was in better condition than Cat who wrestled once. That really shouldn’t happen but Cat didn’t wrestle much at this point so it’s a bit more understandable.

The good guys in the main event promise to win because the other four guys are player haters.

WAY too long video on Gunns vs. Hancock.

Vampiro tells Demon he’s on his own at New Blood Rising and that he wants nothing to do with Jarrett after tonight.

Jarrett calls Gene a broke neck slapnut.

Booker T./Sting/Kronik vs. Great Muta/Vampiro/Demon/Jeff Jarrett

Elimination tag. Booker is limping badly on the way to the ring. It’s a brawl to start with the good guys cleaning house and Booker’s knee being strong enough for a side kick to the face. Muta sneaks in and goes after Booker as we hear about Sting being on Vampiro with a chair. Of course we can’t see that but we do get to see Adams cleaning house inside.

High Times eliminates Muta in just over a minute. Again: why did he bother to come back? Cue Cat to go after Muta as the referee breaks up High Times to Jarrett through the table. That’s fine with Kronik as they chokeslam the referee instead, earning themselves a double elimination. Sting gets triple teamed by Jarrett, Demon and Vampiro as the match actually settles down.

Jarrett lures Booker in so they can…..not cheat in the slightest. It’s off to Vampiro to stay on Sting until a double clothesline puts both of them down. Booker comes in to pound on everyone, including an ax kick to Demon. Jarrett bails and gets counted out, followed by double finishers to give Sting and Booker the double pin to wrap it up.

Rating: D-. Leave it to WCW to give us a six minute Survivor Series match with one person walking out, two people getting disqualified and three pins. As usual, the match went by so fast that it didn’t have time to mean anything and the action that we got was mainly chaos with a quick wrestling portion at the end. Of course they couldn’t cut ANYTHING else out to give this more time either.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t their worst show ever and amazingly enough it was a show centered around a wrestler wrestling. It also helps that the Russo interview didn’t air, which was false advertising but probably a lot better than whatever nonsense Russo would have gone on about in his talk. The less said about the upcoming triple threat the better and it made for a much easier show this week. Not good mind you, but easier.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #251
Date: July 31, 2000
Location: FirstStar Center, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

I made the mistake of believing that things might be turning around and this is what I get for it. The whole place has gone nuts again with Russo’s ideas turning it into more of a circus than a wrestling show and no one seeming to know the difference anymore. The main event tonight is Sting challenging Booker T. for the World Title. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory Of graphic and a ten bell salute for Gordon Solie. That’s always a bit sobering.

Video on Booker becoming champion and having to fight all comers. Jeff Jarrett has injured Booker’s knee and beat him in a hardcore match on Thunder because WCW does stupid things like running the World Title match on Thunder before the pay per view. Or pushing Jeff Jarrett as a World Title contender.

Earlier today, Booker came to work.

Pyro.

Here’s a limping Booker to open things up. He talks about his wife being here and she doesn’t seem to like him saying that he’ll die before he gives up the title. The people here are the reason he got the title shot because they would not be silenced. Last week the fans voted for Sting vs. Booker T. but Bill Goldberg interrupted. Tonight however, the fans are getting what they wanted to see. That’s what they’re getting tonight because it’s time for war. Actually I’m pretty sure it’s because Cat booked it on Thunder but no one watches that show.

This brings out Jeff Jarrett because we haven’t been bored enough yet. Jarrett: “Let me drop the bomb on your mom!” Jeff doesn’t think there’s going to be a title match tonight so Booker corrects the catchphrase and starts the fight in the aisle. They get in the ring and Jeff gets in a shot to the bad knee and a chair shot to the head. We get a JARRETT SUCKS chant from what sounds like a crowd roughly three times the size of the audience here as Jeff puts on the Figure Four over the apron.

Sting comes in for the save with the ski mask on, which he thankfully pulls off after throwing Jarrett out. He helps Booker up and says he’ll take that title shot if Booker is still ready later in the night. Jeff says we’ll have Slapnuts Theater and blasts Booker’s wife with the guitar. Again: THE MATCH WAS ALREADY BOOKED! Stop acting like this is some spontaneous thing.

Post break Sting tells Booker to go to the hospital while he deals with Jeff.

Buff Bagwell vs. Big Vito

Judy comes out with Buff as they continue to set up the Judy Bagwell on a Pole match, which has been officially set. I keep wanting to think that’s a bad dream that I’ll wake up from one day but it’s really happening. Judy is even sitting in on commentary here to make things even better. Buff starts fast with his normal offense, including a dropkick and swinging neckbreaker.

Vito gets in a cheap shot as Buff looks at his mother because Buff is dumb enough to keep bringing her out here. They head outside for a bit and Buff thinks a production guy is Kanyon in disguise. That just earns him a Mafia kick back inside but Buff pops back up with the double arm DDT for two. An innocent cameraman goes to get a shot of Judy so Buff goes for the save, allowing Vito to get a breather. Back in and Buff’s sunset flip is countered to give Vito the pin.

Rating: D. This is another Russo trope: stories that don’t work unless one of the people involved is just plain stupid. There is no reason for Judy Bagwell to be out there as she could just stay at home but in order for this story to work, she has to be here every week. Nothing match here but it’s nice to see Vito do something other than hardcore nonsense.

Kwee Wee asks Cat for the match but completely snaps when he gets turned down. Cat gives him the match to get rid of him, calming Kwee Wee right back down.

Kanyon wants Judy Bagwell as his valet so she can be his Kimberly. If she’s good, she can be a Nitro Girl. He loads up a Kanyon Cutter on Pamela but Gene Okerlund of all people tries to make the save, only to take the cutter himself (off camera of course).

After a break, Buff runs in and finds Kanyon, giving him a double arm DDT on the floor. For once, a wrestling move actually makes sense.

The Artist vs. Kwee Wee

Artist is in a t-shirt and jeans to prove his manliness to Paisley. It’s a brawl in the aisle to start as Madden makes unfunny jokes about Kwee Wee’s non-existent wife. Artist pounds him down to start but Kwee Thesz presses him down and fires away. A nice dropkick and backdrop put Artist down and it turns into a slugout. Artist lifts him up by the hair and drops him back down, only to have Kwee pound away again. Madden: “This Kwee Wee is like a flamboyant Lou Thesz!” A tilt-a-whirl into a sitout faceplant is enough to put Artist away.

Rating: D. That’s it for Artist in the ring and I don’t think many people are going to miss him. The story never worked and the wrestling wasn’t much better, making him one of the lamer people WCW had on its roster for a long time. Kwee Wee ranges somewhere between stupid and offensive (much closer to the former) but this was a very different time and in Russo’s mind, this was comedy.

Post match Kwee Wee, in a much deeper and more serious voice, says people won’t like him when he’s angry.

A ticked off Scott Steiner breaks into Cat’s office with a pipe. Cat clears off his own desk before Cat can do it. Steiner doesn’t want to hear that Booker isn’t here so he makes a pipe match with Booker in the back for later.

Norman Smiley actually hits on Midajah and gets destroyed by Steiner. This was a five second segment.

The MIA declare war on Team Canada. Rection isn’t pleased with Loco’s war face.

Cruiserweight Title: Lieutenant Loco vs. Lance Storm

Before the match, Storm talks about hardcore wrestling being garbage. Therefore, he’s renamed the Hardcore Title as the Saskatchewan Hardcore International Title. On top of that, he wants this company to be named World Canadian Wrestling. This time O Canada is cut off by the Misfits’ theme and we’re ready to go in a hurry.

Storm snaps Loco’s throat across the top rope as Rection and Cajun join commentary. Back in and Loco grabs a quick spinning DDT (Cajun: “MISFIT STYLE!”) but tries to flip out of the corner and twists his ankle. Storm loads up a powerbomb and Loco tries to counter, only to get pulled down into the Maple Leaf to give Storm his third title.

Rating: C-. No time to go anywhere of course but the idea of giving Storm a third title is interesting. They’ve certainly made him feel like something special, but now comes the obvious problem of how to get them off him without making him look like a loser. Loco needs to get back in the title hunt though as I was digging his title reign with the safe and well done matches after months of Artist putting everyone to sleep.

Since Storm is young and successful, here’s Kevin Nash to interrupt. Storm gets in his face so Nash drops him with a big boot. Back from a break and Nash is still in the ring, making that attack completely pointless. Nash talks about two people working themselves into a shoot and brings up Goldberg’s comments about him last week. There’s only been one time in this business where he hasn’t been professional and it was the night after someone refused to lose to him in Montreal.

Yeah he played basketball and then he was a bouncer. There were some nights on the job where the NFL players came in and had to be beaten into place. When they get to Vancouver, there’s no guarantee that he’s going to be a professional. Finally, he’s going to get Scott Hall back here no matter what. Cue Scott Steiner to say he doesn’t care about Goldberg or Nash. The fight is on already and security quickly hits the ring.

Post break, Nash demands a match with Steiner. Cat just happens to have a straitjacket so go have a straitjacket match.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting

This is called impromptu even though they’ve been talking about it all night. Sting wins an early slugout but misses the Stinger Splash. That’s not a major problem though as he clotheslines Jeff out to the floor and follows him up the ramp with a chair. Much like all the criticism and snores from the audience during his matches, promos, appearances and everything else, Jarrett shrugs the shots off and crushes Sting’s knee against the post with the chair.

We hit the Figure Four over the apron until the referee does his job and breaks it up. Here’s Sting’s comeback until Jeff kicks the referee low and hits Sting in the head with a chair. The referee, having just been kicked low, actually counts the cover for two. Why have referees at this point? Sting flips out of a reverse suplex and grabs the Death Drop “onto” the chair for the pin.

Rating: D+. Horrific refereeing aside, that’s a loss for the World Champion and a loss for the #1 contender in the span of five days. Of course we now get even more weeks of Jarrett challenging for the title because he was hand picked as the challenger whether we’re interested in it or not. Lame match because as usual, WCW does a bunch of stupid stuff instead of letting them have a match.

Booker is back and isn’t happy that Jarrett was sent out in an ambulance.

Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Vampiro/Great Muta vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire

Kronik is defending and comes out first while Perfect Event is on commentary. Jindrak and O’Haire are smart enough to let everyone else fight. The painted ones are knocked to the floor and it’s Clark vs. Jindrak to get things going. The champ takes over with a hard clothesline until Mark nails a high dropkick. Clark plants him with a Rock Bottom but Vampiro breaks up the pin and takes Jindrak’s place.

A top rope clothesline puts Clark down, leaving Muta and Vampiro to pound away at the same time for no logical reason. Clark fights them off again and makes the hot tag to Adams so house can be cleaned. Muta goes after Adams knee but Clark hits him in the back with a chair to break it up. Everything breaks down and O’Haire drops the Swanton on Vampiro, only to have Adams get in a quick pin on Muta a half second before, keeping the titles on Kronik.

Rating: D+. It’s another mess of a match as is so often the case in WCW but at least the ending was pretty hot. There are way too many teams going after the belts at this point though and it’s getting to be too much to take. Just let them fight one at a time and put the titles on whoever you want to put them on.

Muta and Vampiro mist the champs and take the belts.

Cat gives Shane Douglas a Viagra on a pole match against Kidman tonight.

Jindrak and O’Haire say this isn’t over.

Kidman vs. Shane Douglas

Viagra on a pole. Seriously. Before the match, Shane thinks this is stupid. Well at least he still gets the obvious. Shane goes after Kidman to start but gets backdropped out to the floor, followed by a baseball slide into the steps. Back in and Shane kicks him down as Madden talks about Viagra on a pole matches from years past.

Shane rolls some suplex and puts on a chinlock as we’re waiting on the first attempt to go up. The Pittsburgh Plunge drops Kidman and Madden stays on the sex jokes. Kidman gets up though and hits a quick Kid Crusher (Killswitch), allowing him to get the bottle. Torrie offers a distraction though and Shane grabs a Franchiser, allowing him to steal the bottle for the win. I’m assuming that means he also deals with the legal issues of handing out what were probably prescribed pills.

Rating: D. As usual, this was a big mess with the pole only being an excuse to let them have a lame match. I still don’t know why I’d want to see these two fight again but the match was pretty generic stuff. These two could have a good match if you just, you know, let them, but that’s out of the question.

Booker asks Sting if they’re still on. Sting is ready and Booker says this is for the people.

Miss Hancock and Major Gunns get in a food fight in the back to start their “hardcore match”. In the ring, A-Wall beats up David Flair until the women come in. I guess this is a match now.

Major Gunns vs. Miss Hancock

Hancock throws her into the table Wall set up for a pin. I have no idea how long this actually was and I really don’t think anyone cares. Well Russo does as I’m sure this is another fantasy of his for whatever reason.

The Nitro Girls like Kidman after the Viagra match.

Scott Steiner vs. Kevin Nash

Straitjacket match meaning you put your opponent in a straitjacket and beat on them until you get tired of it. Those are Cat’s official rules. Nash gets in a quick side slam for a cover but there’s no referee as there are no covers. Instead Nash goes with the boot choke but Midajah gets on the apron, allowing Steiner to hit Nash low. The belly to belly sets up the pushups as the announcers plug an interview with VINCE RUSSO on Thunder.

They head outside with Nash being sent into the barricade (I think they’re shooting here!), only to pop up and fire off right hands back inside. Steiner takes a chokeslam and a Midajah chair shot has no effect on Nash. That earns Midajah a Jackknife (Madden: “Her head is between his legs!”) but Nash has to kick Rick Steiner in the face. Scott hits Nash with the chair and the straitjacket goes on. Scott puts on the Recliner for the win.

Rating: D-. What do you expect from Scott Steiner vs. Kevin Nash in a gimmick match with Rick interfering? They kept it short but that doesn’t mean it’s something interesting. I’m still annoyed at Nash for beating Storm down earlier tonight though so I approve of him taking a beating.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Sting

Booker is defending and limps to the ring as the announcers plug Russo’s interview again. Note that Goldberg and Nash’s interviews weren’t plugged but they’re just not as important. They trade shoulders and hiptosses to start and Sting can’t get either early Deathlock attempt. It’s time to go outside with Sting sending him into the barricade, only to have his top rope splash hit knees. Thankfully Booker sells the knee, only to pop up for an ax kick for two.

They hit heads and Sting falls to the floor, only to have someone pull him under the ring. Someone who appears to be Demon (Sting’s opponent at New Blood Rising) shoves a bloody Sting back out and he elbows Booker in the face a few times. Sting gets two off a DDT but the Death Drop is countered into the Bookend to retain Booker’s title.

Rating: C. Imagine that: you give two of the most talented guys in the company a few minutes and they have one of the better matches of the night. They’re doing a really good job of building Booker up as a main event star as he’s pinned Goldberg and Sting in back to back weeks. Of course he lost to Jarrett in the middle but you can’t win them all, even if you’re World Champion.

Post match Sting goes after Demon but Vampiro makes a save. Jarrett comes out to blast Booker with a guitar before tying a rope around the knee to hang Booker upside down. At the same time, Sting is put in a coffin which Demon sets on fire with a torch. Jarrett cracks another guitar over the knee to end the show WHILE STING IS BEING BURNED ALIVE. Yeah that’s just background noise now. In WWE it sets up a Wrestlemania showdown. In WCW it sets up Jeff Jarrett attacking Booker T.’s bad knee.

Overall Rating: D. If Sting being burned alive not closing the show isn’t enough to sum this show up, I don’t think anything is going to. You couple that with the Viagra on a pole match and a food fight between the women and it’s clear that Russo is back at his Russoiest. There’s just too much stuff going on here and little of it is worth seeing. One of the few things that was worth seeing was Lance Storm but Nash literally threw him out of the way so we could set up a straitjacket match as part of the reality angle that the world is clamoring for. There’s your latest reason why WCW has less than eight months to go.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Thunder
Date: July 26, 2000
Location: Wheeling Civic Center, Wheeling, West Virginia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Mark Madden

The Russo style is back in full force, meaning it’s time for this show to fall through the floor all over again. We’re coming up on New Blood Rising and other than the main event, it’s hard to say what kind of nonsense is going to take place there. These shows are starting to make less and less sense every week but you have to expect that when a nitwit is on top. Let’s get to it.

The Cat is standing by his limo when the Jung Dragons attack, this time with a sledgehammer. Yang smashes the window by mistake and Smooth the limo driver freaks out. Cat gives him a 3-1 match later tonight.

3 Count vs. Juventud Guerrera/Rey Mysterio

Evan is out with a knee injury but before we get going, Tank wants a dance contest against Konnan and Disco. It’s just a ruse though and the fight is on quickly. Shannon gets two on Rey off a springboard cross body but here are the Jung Dragons to interfere. We settle down to Juvy…..possibly countering a German suplex. He was supposed to flip over and land on his feet but didn’t get all the way over, making it unclear if he got hurt or not.

Rey springboards in with a clothesline for two as Tony talks about Latino style being very hot in popular music. Shannon drops Rey with a sleeper drop for two but the Animals come back with something like What’s Up, only with a legdrop instead of a headbutt. Everything breaks down and a Samoan drop/neckbreaker combination gets two on Rey, only to have Shannon take the Juvy Driver and 450 for the pin.

Rating: C+. So we have these two fun teams but we’re getting people like the Perfect Event in the title match. The Animals may be incredibly annoying but at the same time they can still go this well in the ring. On top of that, why are none of these guys going after the Cruiserweight Title? Why are we stuck with the nonsense we’ve had to see for all these months? We’ll go with “because WCW” and move on.

Here’s Booker T. with something to say. He doesn’t like Goldberg but after Monday he has to respect him. However, Goldberg needs to save the trauma (yes trauma) for his mama. These are his people here and he’ll die in this ring to defend his title. Cue Jeff Jarrett to say he wants a lights out, unsanctioned match against Booker tonight with the title NOT on the line to protect Cat’s pay per view main event. The fight is on and Tony says there’s no holding them back as security holds them back. So we have Goldberg, Scott Steiner and even Kevin Nash waiting to challenge Booker but we’re getting Jeff Jarrett? Really?

Post break Cat makes the match but threatens to beat up Booker and Jarrett if they don’t calm down.

Miss Hancock wants to arm wrestle Major Gunns tonight.

The Artist vs. Skip Over

That would be Elix Skipper and for reasons I’ve never been able to explain, I’ve always been a big fan. Artist superkicks him at the bell as Tenay calls Skip part of the new blood (not the New Blood of course). Over spin kicks Artist in the face and hits a nice looking missile dropkick. Artist grabs a northern lights suplex for two of his own, followed by an Angle Slam.

Since this is a meaningless match against a rookie, Artist needs a chair. Skip baseball slides it into his face but Artist pops right back up. Paisley tries to hand him the chair but Kwee Wee comes out to lure her away. So much for that idea. Back in the ring, the chair has disappeared and Over takes Artist down with a springboard spinwheel kick. The Overdrive (That ridiculous spinning Fameasser thing. I’m still not sure how that’s supposed to be a finishing move.) gives Over the upset.

Rating: D+. Fun little match here but as usual it’s bogged down by all the other stuff going on at the same time. The Paisley/Kwee Wee stuff needs to go somewhere already. Not that it’s been a long, drawn out story but more along the lines of the faster that happens, the faster we can get Artist off TV.

MIA is in the back and Gene looks at Major Gunns’ chest. See it’s funny because he’s old.

Judy Bagwell drags Buff Bagwell away by the ear so they can go find the Cat. I guess this is supposed to be funny too.

M.I. Smooth vs. Jung Dragons

As usual, Mark keeps saying “last night” to refer to Monday, as in two days earlier. During the entrances, Tony says Goldberg can’t make his scheduled appearance. Instead: Lance Storm and Mike Awesome. Oh I’m sure the fans are going to be thrilled. Like all three of them who show up. Smooth is in a shirt and tie and the Dragons stomp him down for three straight near falls. Jamie and Kaz are sent to the floor, leaving Smooth to powerslam and full nelson bomb Jamie for the pin.

So let’s stop for a second here and look at what we’re supposed to just accept here: Smooth, a non-wrestler (yes I know he was Ice Train but that’s never mentioned here) just happened to debut here, wore street clothes, had theme music, knew wrestling moves, and beat a team in a featured pay per view match completely clean in under two minutes.

We’re supposed to just go with this and then pay to see the Dragons, who are more guys who should be in the Cruiserweight Title hunt, at New Blood Rising. You can blame a lot of things for WCW going under, but this is the kind of thing that really should be near the top of the list. These things happened WAY too often around here and the fans are just supposed to go with them. At some point the fans are going to get tired of having their intelligence insulted and watch something else. WCW reached that point a long time ago and it’s a big reason why they’re not around today.

The Bagwells come into Cat’s office and Judy says she can be the solution to the ratings problem. Cat gives her the match she wants, whatever that is. Another reason this company is a mess right now: middle aged women coming in off the street and talking about ratings like they’re something people discuss in casual conversation. I write about wrestling for a living and I barely discuss ratings with my wrestling friends, let alone some random person I strike up a chat with at Wal-Mart. As usual, Russo and Ferrara or whoever is writing this show has no idea how normal people talk in real life and it sounds really awkward.

It’s time for arm wrestling and I’ll let you fill in most of the details here. Hancock is in a red shirt here and takes off the jacket for a change. David Flair is guest referee for the sake of comedy and makes sure to cheat to help Hancock win. Gunns freaks out so Hancock sprays hairspray in her face. There goes Gunns’ top but the Wall, now in MIA gear, comes out to chokeslam Flair. He talks to the blind Gunns and says “it’s me, it’s me” (that D-O-Double G?) to calm her down.

Kanyon says he needs to find a Kimberly. Judy is feeling the BANG tonight though.

The MIA rename the Wall as A-Wall (that’s actually kind of clever) and shave his head.

Muta and Vampiro have beaten down Kronik.

Great Muta/Vampiro vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

This is the result of Muta and Vampiro issuing an open challenge. O’Haire starts with Muta and takes him down with a dropkick off those long legs of his. Vampiro and Jindrak fight on the floor before coming in, which I guess counts as a double tag in this match. Jindrak kicks him in the face and brings Sean back in for a clothesline.

It’s already back to Jindrak so Muta comes in and kicks him a few times before officially coming in off the tag. The refereeing sucks around here. The heels pound away on Jindrak for a bit until he snaps off a powerslam and tags in Sean to clean house. Muta will have none of that and snaps off a dragon screw legwhip before twisting on the knee to make Sean tap. Too short to rate but it was energetic while it lasted.

Post match Demon comes out to help with the beatdown but Kronik makes the save and hurts people.

Judy puts Buff in a room and tells him to stay there. What in the world did Buff do to deserve this story?

Big Vito wants a rematch with Lance Storm.

Judy Bagwell vs. Kanyon

After Judy comes out to Buff’s pyro and Madden reminds us that she used to be a World Tag Team Champion (gah), Kanyon says he’s Diamond Cut her already. Tonight though, it’s going to be the Kanyon Cutter so Judy needs to leave before this gets bad. The match starts and it’s a bunch of shoving and slapping until Kanyon grabs her for the Kanyon Cutter. This brings out Buff, who is told to stay in the aisle or his mom gets hurt. Kanyon wants a match at New Blood Rising and if Judy wins, she’s Kanyon’s Kimberly. Buff agrees and the camera cuts away as Kanyon lays her out (thanks to TBS).

Shane Douglas and Torrie Wilson talk about the G-rated tape from Monday.

Kidman has another tape.

Kanyon is driving away, gets out and Kanyon Cuts a guard, then leaves. Funniest thing on the show by about a mile so far.

Here are Torrie and Shane with Torrie being annoyed at Kidman for what he did on Monday. Torrie: “Do you know what kind of a position you put me in?” Shane says play the new tape and it’s the two of them sitting on a bed. Shane apologizes over and over again for “performance issues” and they storm out of the ring.

Storm says he’ll give Vito a Hardcore Title match with no weapons allowed.

Shane leaves to get some air when Kidman comes up to laugh at Torrie. This is of course stupid and Shane beats Kidman down.

Hardcore Title: Lance Storm vs. Big Vito

Vito is challenging and jumps Storm during O Canada, sending Madden into hysterics again. The usual low level offense sends Storm outside and it’s a superkick and kind of fall away slam for two on the champ. A good looking top rope elbow gets two for Vito and the referee gets bumped, allowing Storm to hit Vito with a chair for two. Vito comes right back with a German suplex and clothesline but Storm calmly grabs the Maple Leaf for the submission to retain. Again too short to rate but Vito comes off as a guy who tries when he’s out there.

Awesome runs in and lays out Storm.

Just like last week with Nash, here’s a sitdown interview with Goldberg. First up is Hall blaming Goldberg for Scott Hall being gone but Goldberg really doesn’t care what Nash says. The Outsiders wanted Goldberg on their side because they knew he was going to be a big deal. Nash has no appreciation for the fans but Goldberg does everything he does for the fans. As a heel remember. Hudson: “For the last few months you’ve played the heel for World Championship Wrestling.” Goldberg says he hasn’t been comfortable with it because that’s not who he is.

Someone thought turning him heel was a good idea that might help the ratings but it’s totally against what Goldberg is. With his eyes bugging out but in the same voice, Goldberg wants to refute what Nash said last week. The last thing he thought he was going to do was be a wrestler because he wanted to be a pro football player. Now he has a chance to give back to the fans. He can shake a sick kid’s hand and give them a smile which is worth more than anything else he could get. Goldberg: “Nash is right. I don’t love this sport.”

Hudson calls the work with the kids paying his dues. Goldberg says Nash has “paid his dues” for fifteen years and he won’t ever be in the spot Goldberg reached in three years. Amen brother. Goldberg brings up Nash breaking the Streak two weeks after Nash got on the booking committee. Hudson brings up the three way at New Blood Rising and Goldberg says his immediate goal is to make Nash suffer for all the damage Nash has done to his career.

What Goldberg is doing right now is taking one for the team instead of what he wants to be doing. When a promoter is looking at a card, he doesn’t care about paying dues because it’s all about who is going to draw the most money. All it means is that he’s the right character and the right person to see this through. Hall and Nash didn’t pop the business like he and Hogan did. Hogan, Flair and Arn Anderson made this business what it is today. I love Arn but that’s more of a stretch than I can handle.

The only way Nash is winning in Vancouver is to put himself back on that booking committee because Goldberg is going to kill him. Nash saying he doesn’t care what the bookers say sounds like a challenge because Nash can’t run away on those old knees of his. Goldberg recommends ice and Advil because Nash is going to need them. That wraps things up with no mention of Booker T. and Monday’s match whatsoever.

…….WOW. Just like last week, this would have been one heck of a shoot interview. If this had been from RF Video or something like that, it would be really entertaining to listen to. The problem is THIS IS A MAJOR WRESTLING SHOW. Think back with me to CM Punk’s Pipe Bomb. Punk ranted about how Cena was just an act and how he was being held back, but it was all building to a wrestling match, not some scripted deal where they may or may not do what the bookers (more on that in a second) told them to do.

This brings us to the big problem that was there last week: how many fans knew what was going on? Serious question: how many fans watching this heard the word “booker” and thought they were talking about Booker T.? I know it sounds stupid today but is it really that much of a stretch?

This is more of Russo trying to make himself sound smart and thinking that EVERYONE is on Meltzer’s mailing list in July 2000 because he reads that stuff every five minutes. This probably went over the heads of 98% of fans and it’s really annoying to sit through these ten minute interviews to set up a match that is going to suck because Nash is involved and can barely do anything. But hey, they’re WORKING US and that’s what matters, even if no one but them cares.

Madden: “So no matter what the creative committee tells Nash, Goldberg and Steiner, they’re just going to do what they want?” Oh screw off WCW. Good grief man. Like I said: Punk vs. Cena came together in a wrestling match, not some thing where they were going off script. Mainly because THEY NEVER SAID THEY HAD A SCRIPT because that’s the stupidest thing you can do in a wrestling promotion.

Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarrett

Non-title and anything goes. Jeff has a Sting style trench coat on for no logical reason. Cat is on commentary and says he’s not Commissioner at this point, though he insists Madden call him Commissioner. This is billed as a Bunkhouse Brawl because we’re all cowboys who love to ride horses. They brawl into the crowd to start with Booker in control until Jeff hits him in the head with a shovel. Tony tries to call it but Cat cuts him off to announce Sting vs. Booker T. for the title on Monday.

Amazingly enough Booker isn’t dead after BEING HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A SHOVEL so Jeff puts him in a wheelbarrow and rams him into the barricade. Back in and Booker chokes with a bullrope but Jeff hits him in the face with….something made of metal. A middle rope guitar shot misses (Tony: “This pales in comparison to being hit in the head with a shovel.” I actually stopped the video and shouted “WHAT???” at the screen when Tony said that. Ignoring that it’s a breakaway guitar, METAL IS A LOT HARDER THAN WOOD YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!) but Jeff starts choking with the bullrope.

Cat stays on his ratings kick as Jeff chokes Booker with a rope for two arm drops. Booker fights up and hits the spinning forearm as Tony admits that Booker is a superhero. The ax kick and a Spinarooni connect but Jeff guitars the bad knee and puts on the Figure Four with Booker hanging over the apron. Booker passes out from the pain. Well in theory at least as he was still conscious and didn’t say he gave up but the referee stopped it anyway.

Rating: D. It’s not often in my life as a fan that I’m disgusted by how stupid something is but that’s what happened here. This was giving away what wasn’t going to be an interesting main event in the first place and having them use a bunch of weapons before we get the boring version in a few weeks. Oh and make sure the champion loses because that’s going to draw interest in the rematch.

I looked at Jeff after the match and my goodness the level of not caring went through the roof. He’s just so uninteresting in this role and unfortunately we’re stuck because Russo, the undisputed king of insanity and over the top booking, thinks the most generic heel in forever is worth pushing on top.

Overall Rating: F. Let me make this clear: there was good stuff on this show. The opener was fun and some of the Kanyon stuff was amusing. If you take those parts on their own, you would have had a pretty entertaining show and WCW would have come off looking a lot stronger than they did coming into this week. However, there was a lot of other stuff this week too.

I know I often talk about WCW acting like its fans are stupid. However, in this case, it felt worse than ever. This actually felt like they wanted me to be angry at them and walk off, never to watch again. Between the Goldberg shoot, a shovel to the head not putting someone down for more than twenty seconds, Kanyon suddenly wanting Judy Bagwell as his valet, everyone (and their mother in this case) talking about ratings and a man having performance issues, I felt like I was watching the kind of show that non-wrestling fans pretend all wrestling is to make fun of it.

That’s what Thunder and WCW as a whole have become: juvenile, unfunny people making fun of wrestling because they want to laugh instead of trying to take this seriously. This felt like a parody of a wrestling promotion but it still wasn’t funny. What is there on here that makes me want to come back? I’m not seeing it anywhere and I really don’t want to see where things go from here.

It’s not funny anymore and I don’t know why people would think it’s going to get any better from here on out. More than anything else, that makes me sad, because it feels like the people in charge are glad it’s going under because it makes them feel better about whatever is going on in their lives. This really is a case of people treating this place like a playground and not caring at all what happens to anyone as long as they get a good laugh at our expense. Enjoy what you’re getting WCW, because this is all on you.

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