Monday Night Raw
Date: December 24, 2001
Location: Miami Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s Christmas Eve so of course we’re not live. We have a few weeks before HHH gets back so until thing we’re kind of in a holding pattern. Jericho is champion but given that they don’t even have an Undisputed Title belt for him, how serious can we take his reign so far? The show is in a bad stretch and it’s really only going to get worse in the next few years. Let’s get to it.

In case you didn’t see the link at the end of the last review, here’s the December 17, 2001 show which I had done already:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/12/27/monday-night-raw-december-17-2011-nuns-groceries-and-bingo/

We’ve got an eggnog match later so you can tell things aren’t that serious.

Then again we have Jericho vs. Rock for the title later so maybe things won’t be that bad.

Here’s the hometown hero in his old Miami jersey to open the show. It’s Rock if that wasn’t clear. Rock says he’s come back home and talks about the main event tonight against Jericho. Oh and the Hurricanes will win the Rose Bowl. I believe they did that actually. He asks for his book and is handed The Rock’s Night Before Christmas. The book is exactly what you would expect with the focus being on Rock vs. Jericho.

Before he can finish though, here’s Angle, thankfully with the classic version of his music instead of that bad remix. Angle accuses Santa of being a pervert for seeing you when you’re sleeping. He thinks Vince is better than Mr. Claus because Vince has made the main event tonight a triple threat match. Rock doesn’t really care. Somehow this segment took almost 12 minutes.

Vince is having a Christmas party with Patterson and Brisco as elves. Bubba is Santa which means Stacy as a sexy Mrs. Claus. Booker and the Big Bossman show up so it’s time to bust out the strippers. Booker officially has a contract now. Vince’s music is playing as this goes on.

Rikishi vs. Test

Rikishi pounds him down into the corner but Test avoids a charge and beats on Rikishi. A DDT puts Rikishi down for two and Test shoves the referee. The referee punches Test and it’s a DQ win for Rikishi. This was nothing.

Test pounds on the referee but Rikishi makes the save.

Trish, looking GREAT, shows up at Flair’s Christmas party. Torrie is Mrs. Claus and I think Tajiri is Santa. Big Show struts like Flair and Tajiri gives Torrie some very small lingerie. Albert and Edge try to make Kane laugh and Big Show does his Hogan impression which is still pretty good. Debra brings in cookies and says Austin is on the way. Well it’s not like anyone was watching this episode anyway.

Billy and Chuck give each other matching headbands. Taz talks to Bubba because Bubba has a good looking girl on his lap and that’s not Santa-like. Bubba: “You’re just mad because all my elves are taller than you.” That was a good line. Fink shows up and brings in Mae and Moolah as the new dancers.

Billy and Chuck vs. APA

Billy and Chuck aren’t quite gay yet but they’re inching towards it. The APA looks at each other and pound on Billy and Chuck from behind. Billy and Chuck double team Farrooq before Chuck gets some alone time with him. Chuck gets laid…..out by a DDT and it’s off to Bradshaw and Billy. It’s finishers a go-go and Chuck trips Bradshaw so Billy gets to be on top for the quick pin. That’s good as I was running out of sex jokes.

RVD is ticked off and looking for someone. After a break he goes into Jericho’s room but finds Lance Storm. I guess he got a job on Smackdown. They get in an argument and a match is made.

Show and Albert are in Kane masks talking to the Big Red Machine when Arn Anderson shows up with beer. Austin shows up too with even more beer. We get a live WHAT rendition as Austin reads off a Christmas list while sitting on Tajiri’s lap.

Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm

It’s the Barely Legal rematch that no one was asking for. They brawl to start with both guys flying around and hitting kicks to the face for two. Not that it matters as we’re in a chinlock 45 seconds in. Van Dam kicks him down and hits the cartwheel moonsault for two. A superkick gets two for Storm but Van Dam backflips out of a belly to back superplex. Another kick sets up the Five Star for the pin. Another short match.

Test hits on Terri at Vince’s party. That goes nowhere so Paisley interviews Maven about Tough Enough 2. This goes nowhere until Booker yells at Maven, setting up a match later. Is it clear that it’s Christmas Eve and they’re not even trying? Mae is drunk.

Stacy Keibler vs. Torrie Wilson

It’s an eggnog match between the Mrs. Clauses. What are you expecting here? They fight by the pool of eggnog, they go in it, they do some “wrestling” and the referee falls in as well. Torrie wins in like two minutes.

Back to Vince’s party and Jericho shows up to complain about being put in a triple threat. Vince tries to soothe him but Stephanie returns, a mere FIVE WEEKS after being thrown out. She has a gift for Vince, which is a monogrammed money clip. Vince doesn’t seem to care and throws her out. She would be back full time in about three weeks.

European Title: Christian vs. The Hurricane

Christian is defending and takes a shot at the Miami Hurricanes which is appropriate in more ways than one. Christian charges at him to start and is immediately clotheslined to the floor. Hurricane hits a big dive to the floor as JR suggests Pat Patterson is a fairy and not an elf. Back in and Christian kicks Hurricane low to take over.

The fans chant the Hurricanes’ (the football team, not the masked dude) fight song as Christian knees Hurricane in the ribs for two. Hurricane hits a quick crossbody but can’t get much more after that. Molly offers a distraction and Hurricane comes back, hitting a Blockbuster for two. Christian throws him to the floor but ducks an attack from Hurricane which takes out Molly. Christian throws him back inside and hits the Unprettier to retain.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but when this is the first match that broke three minutes after over an hour of the show, it’s kind of hard to get into it. Also the ending here was really abrupt with Christian just hitting his finisher out of nowhere for the pin. The title meant nothing at this point and was ready to be retired, which wouldn’t come for almost a year.

Taz switches parties and causes a match to be made between Bubba and Tajiri for later. Austin plays the guitar for some entertainment.

Booker T vs. Maven

Booker has Bossman as a bodyguard in an angle I don’t remember at all. Maven is brand new here still so this isn’t going to be much in the ways of competition. Maven fires off some forearms to start followed by a few dropkicks, which was really the only move he could do well. Booker shrugs that off and kicks Maven down to take over. A superkick puts Maven down and there’s the Spinarooni. An Alabama Slam gets the pin for Booker. Total squash after the first 20 seconds.

Bubba Claus vs. Tajiri Claus

Oh….why not. Tajiri knocks him to the floor and hits an Asai Moonsault. The visuals here are pretty funny and JR says this would be a main event at any arena in the North Pole. I can live with nods to Monsoon. Back in the ring the Bubba Bomb takes Tajiri down and a low blow slows him down even more. The fans of course want tables but they have to settle for a splash/elbow drop from Bubba instead.

Tajiri has lost his hat and Bubba takes his own belt off to whip Tajiri a bit. Bubba misses the middle rope splash as is his custom, which likely had to do with him doing the stereotypical Japanese bow before jumping. The look on Bubba’s face is pretty great. A low dropkick gets two and Tajiri fires off some kicks to take over. He goes up but D-Von crotches him, letting Bubba hit a superplex for no cover. The Dudleys set up What’s Up but Taz runs out and crotches D-Von. The distraction lets Tajiri hit the Mist and the Buzzsaw Kick for the pin.

Rating: C. If you were looking for a serious match here, what is wrong with you? This was a fun match and I’m a Tajiri fan so I was digging this no matter what happened in it. On top of that, Bubba’s facials are are always great. Fun match here which is something this dull show needed badly.

Angle says he’ll strip Jericho of the title tonight. Mae Young: “DID SOMEONE SAYS STRIP???” You can figure the rest out for yourself.

We recap the Undertaker vs. the Hardys feud as the team is back together again after fighting for weeks.

Apparently Mae Young has stopped Vince’s party cold and she takes her pants off on stage. Austin comes in and beats up Vince and the Stooges. Patterson winds up looking up between Mae’s legs.

WWF World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kurt Angle vs. The Rock

It’s a brawl to start with the heels double teaming Rock in the corner. Rock gets in a shot on Angle and avoids a save from Jericho. Angle suplexes Rock down and we head to the floor where the heels take turns ramming Rock into the table. Rock will have none of that and rams them into the table, only to get dropped onto the table chest first. A charging Angle is sent into the steps and Jericho is clotheslined down as Rock takes over again.

Back inside a spinwheel kick gets two for the champ but the Lionsault hits knees. Angle comes back in and pounds away on Rock, who backdrops Jericho to the floor. A Samoan Drop puts Angle down for two but Jericho makes the save. Rock hits a double clothesline to put both guys down but he can’t follow up. The Great One gets up first and punches both guys time after time to fire up the crowd.

Angle finally gets in a shot to the back but Rock whips Kurt into Jericho on the apron. Rock drops a leg on Angle and puts on the Scorpion. Jericho tries to make a save but walks into the spinebuster and the Elbow for two. Angle puts the ankle lock on Rock but Jericho dropkicks Kurt to break it up, starting a fight between the two. The American hits a German on the Canadian but Jericho rolls through into the Walls.

Angle escapes and puts on the ankle lock, only to have Rock take his head off. Jericho’s forearm hits the referee and Rock puts the champ in the Walls, making him tap to no referee. The hold is released and Angle clocks Jericho with a chair by mistake. Rock Bottom takes Angle down but there’s STILL no referee. Angle DDT’s Rock on the chair but Jericho steals the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. This was a good match but the problem with it is that there was no way the title was changing tonight. This would have torn the roof off the place at a house show and the live crowd was probably getting into things, but at the end of the day there was no chance Rock was winning the title here and I think most of the people knew it.

Overall Rating: D. Nothing to see here other than a main event which is just above average at best. Other than that, this is a throwaway show if there ever has been one. Then again, it’s Christmas Eve so it’s not like anyone was watching. I don’t think I watched this one live which says a lot for me. Nothing to see here and next week is a Best of 2001 show which won’t offer much, meaning this is pretty much the end of the year.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 10, 2001
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re past Vengeance now and we have an Undisputed Champion in the form of Chris Jericho. He did the only thing he ever talked about for the next year and a half last night by beating Rock and Austin in the same night. Other than that nothing else happened because no one cared about anything else on the show. Tonight we being a series of about three throwaway shows on the way to the Rumble. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Flair to open the show with both world titles. He talks about how he’s going to present the new champion with his title tonight (not really but whatever) and brings out Jericho. The new champion has a list of names of people to thank with the most important of all being himself. He brags about proving everyone wrong and thanks Rock and Austin for their performances last night.

Jericho begins his tradition of talking bragging about how he beat Rock and Austin in the same night. He also thanks all of the little people who supported him before moving on to Flair. Jericho tells Flair that Flair has the honor of being presenting him with the titles, making him the first and only Undisputed Champion. Flair puts both belts on Jericho’s shoulders and says that tonight, Jericho is defending the title tonight in a cage. His opponent: Steve Austin.

Hardcore Title: Spike Dudley vs. Undertaker

Taker won the title last night and Spike sits on his bike on the way to the ring. Pain ensues. Taker puts him in the Tree of Woe but Spike gets in a low blow and some weapon shots but they get shrugged off. A HUGE Last Ride onto a trashcan ends this quick. Taker is still insanely over because he’s still the same character he was before his heel turn.

Taker kills him again with a chokeslam because once wasn’t enough.

Vince comes up to Flair to gloat and has Booker T with him. He also has some doberman guard dogs. It worked when he used them on Austin in 98. Vince says that tonight it’s Rock/Trish vs. the Dudleys. Flair says he’ll apologize in a bit. This was an awkward segment.

Booker and Vince go to their sky box and admire the view of the arena.

Kurt Angle vs. Rikishi

Angle has a new remix of his music and it’s not working. Angle says he’s here to avenge Vince. This is Rikishi’s first match back in like seven months but he was back on Smackdown with Rock shoving Vince’s face into Rikishi’s thong, hence the avenging line. Rikishi jumps him to start but Angle is all like oh no you did not jump me and snaps off a great looking German to take over. Angle tries a sunset flip but Rikishi drops down onto him to take over. Angle gets knocked into the corner but bails before the Stinkface. He keeps on bailing to give Rikishi a quick countout win.

Post match Rikishi dances but Angle jumps him. It goes bad for the Olympian as he gets beaten down and takes a Stinkface. From a world title match to this in 24 hours. That’s not good. Angle blasts Rikishi with a chair during Rikishi’s second dance.

They Dudleys and Stacy aren’t worried at all about their title defense later. Bubba makes fun of the challengers in a funny bit.

Lance Storm comes in to see Flair and asks for a match tonight despite not having a job. Flair says no. Ok then.

Regal jumps Edge during an interview and knocks him out with brass knuckles.

Storm still can’t get a job.

William Regal vs. Kane

Regal has to be searched before the match. He says the attack on Edge was just the beginning because he’s going to be dishing out a lot more punishment in the future but gets cut off by Kane. Kane takes over to start and pounds Regal down before beating on him in the corner. A sidewalk slam gets two and Kane goes up, only to get knocked to the floor. Regal loads up the knucks but gets kicked in the face. Back in and Kane hits the clothesline but Regal breaks up the chokeslam with a knucks shot to the ribs and head for the pin. Another short match in a series of them tonight.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. The Rock/Trish Stratus

Trish hides in the corner to start so Rock and D-Von start things off. A backdrop puts D-Von down and a clothesline puts him on the floor. D-Von gets rammed into the table as does Bubba who I guess tagged in somewhere. If he did it wasn’t shown on camera. A Samoan Drop puts Bubba down for two but it’s back to D-Von who has a bit more luck this time. Rock gets pounded in the corner but Rock clotheslines him down. The numbers finally catch up with Rock as Bubba clotheslines him down to take over.

A double flapjack puts Rock down but he comes back with a clothesline to put Bubba down. He can’t tag Trish in of course though so there’s no worry of a hot tag. Stacy pulls Trish off the apron and Bubba gets two off a neckbreaker on the Brahma Bull. There’s a sleeper but Rock eventually suplexes out of it.

The numbers catch up with Rock AGAIN (you may be noticing a pattern here) but he ducks a clothesline, causing Bubba to take D-Von down. A DDT puts Bubba down and all three guys are down. 3D doesn’t work but Bubba breaks up the Sharpshooter on D-Von. A spinebuster sets up the Elbow on Bubba but D-Von makes a last second save. Trish gets tagged in and What’s Up D-Von? Stacy gets brought in and What’s Up Stacy? Test runs out to brawl with Rock in the aisle and 3D to Trish retains the titles.

Rating: C-. You easily could have cut out three or four minutes here and had about the same match. Rock vs. Test doesn’t do anything for me but I don’t think it was ever going to go anywhere anyway. It was clear that the Dudleys were going to retain, which makes the match going long all the more pointless. Nothing to see here but it wasn’t horrible and we got some good shots of Stacy and Trish.

Test kicks Rock’s head off.

Vince and Booker patronize the crowd a bit and Vince talks about all the people he’s going to beat up/has been beaten up because of Vince. Vince insists he’s the real boss and introduces some celebrities here tonight. Never mind as he’s talking about Booker T. This went NOWHERE.

Lita tries to tell Matt she didn’t screw him on purpose last night. Make your own jokes. She says she loves him and he doesn’t seem to care. She goes to leave and Matt breaks up with her. Jeff pops up and tells her it’s ok.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy/Lita

Matt shoves Lita down so he can jump Jeff to start. There are tags for the team here so it’s one on one for the most part. Jeff pounds him down in the corner and this is turning into a brawl very quickly. Jeff charges into a boot in the corner and they head out to the floor. A clothesline off the apron takes Jeff down but Jeff rams Matt face first into the apron. A brawl into the crowd goes nowhere so we head back inside. Matt pounds on him a bit and counters a quick Twist attempt. Jeff gets sent to the floor so Lita hits the Litarana on Matt. The Swanton from Jeff misses though and Lita tags herself in, but gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: D. The Hardys have some of the best tag team chemistry of all time, but sweet merciful goodness they don’t have it against each other. I think the problem is they try to have some big epic match and it just doesn’t work because they don’t come off as guys that hate each other. This went on for awhile too.

Storm asks Flair AGAIN, so Flair gives him an all or nothing match. He wins and gets a job or he loses and is gone.

Lance Storm vs. Big Show

The bell rings and the beating begins. I don’t think they’re going to break the streak of short matches tonight. Storm gets knocked to the floor but comes back in with a thumb to the eye. Show pounds him down again but Storm goes for the knee. A missile dropkick gets two for Lance but he gets caught in a chokeslam for the pin. That was basically a workout for Show.

Vince and Booker have sandwiches sent to them but Booker thinks it’s a trap. He makes the waitress try one and it seems fine. Booker and Vince have the sandwiches. Seriously, that’s the whole segment.

We get a HHH video set to Beautiful Day by U2.

Austin says WHAT a lot and challenges Booker to a fight. Gee I wonder what’s going to happen in the cage match later. He also talks about what he had for lunch at Sonic.

The cage is lowered.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Chris Jericho

In a cage of course. Jericho stalls for awhile so Austin gets out of the cage and beats on the champ on the floor. Austin tries a chair but the referee takes it away, allowing Jericho to get inside the cage to hide. Austin sneaks in behind him as the bell finally rings. There’s the Thesz Press and Jericho is in trouble early. There’s no referee in the ring so this is escape only. Either that or it’s the stupid kind where referees come into the ring to count a pin which takes way too long.

Austin whips Jericho into the corner and the Canadian tries to climb, only to get pulled down very quickly. Jericho gets sent into the cage again as this is all Austin so far. Jericho tries a Stunner so Austin tries the Walls. That doesn’t work either so Jericho sends him into the cage and tries to climb, only to be stopped before he can get that far.

Austin superplexes him back down but Jericho comes back with an enziguri. Jericho crawls for the door but Austin makes the save. Then Jericho crawls for the door but Austin makes the save. Austin rams him into the cage a few times and removes a turnbuckle pad. Jericho goes face first into the exposed buckle about eight times, busting the champion open.

A slingshot sends Jericho into the buckle and then drops him on top of it with snake eyes. WE GET IT ALREADY! Austin goes to leave but Jericho flips him off, drawing Austin back in for a Stunner to the champ. Steve goes for the door again but Booker slams it on his head, allowing Jericho to crawl out and escape to retain.

Rating: C-. This took a long time to get going and once it got going, it didn’t really go all that far. The ending might as well have been a big flashing neon sign after the promo Austin gave just before the match. This would lead to the grocery store fight which isn’t exactly the expected retaliation for this but at least it was entertaining, unlike this for the most part.

Overall Rating: C-. This show falls into the worst category you can be in: the dull but not bad kind. That’s what this show came down to: the stuff wasn’t bad but it wasn’t great either. That makes for a very uninteresting show with no good matches and most of the show being spent on stuff that didn’t go anywhere, like the sandwiches bit. HHH gets back in a few weeks but it’s not like he can fix a whole show. Please don’t let him see that as I know he’d love to try to do so.

I’ve already done the 12/17 show so here it is:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/12/27/monday-night-raw-december-17-2011-nuns-groceries-and-bingo/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 3, 2001
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Vengeance and the star of the show is still Vince. The main events for the show are set and that’s really all that matters for the PPV. Seriously I have no idea what else is going on with the show because the company hasn’t bothered to tell us. This show absolutely has to be better than last week’s though. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Jericho to open the show. He says that he can win the big one and he’s going to do that on Sunday. Jericho doesn’t like that Austin and Rock have basically decided they’re meeting for the Undisputed Title because they’re overlooking Angle and himself. Jericho doesn’t like Austin very much and the disrespect is going to end on Sunday when he wins the title.

Cue Flair and Jericho says it must be an honor for Flair to be in the ring with him. Flair asks if it’s Jericho or Y2J. Jericho would prefer to be called Mr. Jericho. Flair doesn’t think Jericho can win the big one because he didn’t see Jericho beat the Rock. Naitch makes Austin vs. Jericho in a non-title match later. Shorter segment here but it sets up a match and there was no Vince, making it better than anything last week.

Rock is here.

Kane vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Bubba charges at him but gets slugged and backdropped down. Kane and Show face the Dudleys on Sunday for the titles. Stacy tries to distract Kane which doesn’t work at all. D-Von gets in some shots to Kane, allowing Bubba to hit a side slam for no cover. Middle rope splash misses and it’s clothesline and chokeslam for the pin. Basically a squash.

The Dudleys hit the 3D on Kane but Show saves. When was this match announced? Smackdown I guess?

Vince is on the phone with Taker and the big man won’t be here tonight. Angle comes in and feels awful about what Rock did to Vince on Thursday. Angle has a plan for revenge but we don’t hear it.

Albert vs. Test

Scotty is on commentary and therefore getting on my nerves. This is your standard power match: Albert hits Test, Test hits Albert, Test takes over. Albert fires off some right hands but Test suplexes him down. The elbow off the top is broken up by a slam and Albert punches away some more. Test knocks him down again but Scotty gets on the apron for a distraction. After the Wormy one is taken down, Albert hits the bicycle (Brogue) kick for tow. Test takes him down again and goes for a chair. Scotty disarms him and blasts Test with said chair before the Baldo Bomb gets the pin for Albert.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here other than Test being his usual self. Albert (now known as Tensai in case the chants didn’t make sense to you) has never been exactly interesting but he is what he is: a big bald monster who beats people up. Why they made him a hip hop hippo here is beyond me but at least they made him a wrecking ball again soon.

Trish (looking GREAT here) is looking for Rock. She finds Crash instead and we see why he was used for over the top comedy instead of chatter.

RVD doesn’t get why Undertaker hates him. Christian comes up and makes fun of him by saying he’s not better than Taker. RVD suggests a title for title match but Christian won’t put the European Title up. Oh and the capital of Belgium isn’t Waffles.

Trish finds Rock and thanks him for saving her from Vince. She kisses Rock on the cheek and Rock is taken aback. He says he’ll say you’re welcome, and proceeds to give her a kiss that most movies with they could pull off. The arena ERUPTS and Rock gives the eyebrow. This worked perfectly and didn’t come off as goofy at all.

Hardy Boys vs. Tajiri/Spike Dudley

Spike and Jeff start and the idea here is again about the Hardys having problems. Jeff tries the sitout gordbuster but his head messes up. Must be that cheap cocaine tonight. Off to Tajiri who gets caught in a move the Hardys used called the Spin Cycle, which was basically a double rolling belly to back suplex. Jerry talks about Lita’s rack while Jeff is caught in the Tarantula. The Hardys get in another argument and Matt almost gets rolled up for the pin but it’s just a two. Not that it matters as Matt hits the legdrop but Jeff tags himself in for the Swanton and the pin. This was nothing again other than storyline advancement.

The APA makes fun of Regal for kissing up to Vince. Bradshaw vs. Regal is made for later.

The Hardys argue again and Jeff is tired of being pushed around. Lita tries to intervene and gets shoved down again.

Chris Jericho vs. Steve Austin

Non-title again. Austin pounds away before he even takes his vest off. They head to the floor and Jericho gets knocked into the crowd. All Austin so far. Austin fires off some HARD chops and they head back inside where Jericho gets in some stomps. Jericho chops away but Austin shrugs them off and chops Jericho back. Both guys try Stunners but Austin knocks him down and puts the Walls on Jericho. We’re three minutes into this now and Jericho has been on offense for about 6 seconds.

Jericho goes shoulder first into the post but fires off a low blow and enziguri to give himself a breather. We reach about 45 seconds of total offense before the Thesz Press takes Jericho down. Jericho sends Austin’s shoulder into the post and then to the floor where Austin is sent into various metal objects. Austin fires off a clothesline but gets sent into the post again. Back in and there’s the Thesz Press but Jericho trips Austin up as he dismounts. The Walls go on but are quickly broken and the Stunner gets the clean pin.

Rating: C-. So yeah, we’ve got Jericho on the verge of being one of four potential world champions and he just got beat 100% clean by Austin six days beforehand. When he wins the title on Sunday, is it any wonder why he was considered a weak champion and that his first title reign went nowhere at all? This was just a step above a squash for Austin and he was never in any real danger at all.

Booker is hot wiring Austin’s truck in the parking lot.

Here are Vince and Angle to talk about Rock. Angle demands that the people respect Vince and gets the WHAT treatment. We get a clip of Vince disrobing in front of Trish before Rock saved her. Angle rants about Rock and references anal rape for some reason. He demands an apology and here’s Rock to give one. Rock runs his mouth a bit but Vince calls him an ingrate.

Vince rambles so Rock says he’ll come and slap the toupee off his head if the sick freak doesn’t get to it. Vince finally does get to the point: it’s Angle/Vince vs. Rock/Trish. If Rock/Trish lose, Rock has to join Vince’s club. If he won’t do it, he’s out of the tournament. Flair comes out and says if Vince’s team loses, Vince has to kiss Rock. If he refuses, Angle is out of the tournament. Flair and Rock do each others’ catchphrases.

Hardcore Title: Christian vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is sent to the floor but he pulls off a backdrop from the apron to send Christian to the floor. There’s the spinning legdrop to the back for two and we head back inside where Christian gets the same on the reverse DDT into the backbreaker. A powerslam gets another near fall for Christian and it’s off to some choking. The Canadian wedges a chair between the top and middle rope but gets kicked down for his efforts.

A kick puts Christian into the corner and Rob skateboards the chair into Christian’s face for two. Rolling Thunder onto the chair doesn’t work, BECAUSE HE’S LANDING ON THE CHAIR. Reverse DDT puts Van Dam down and it’s Conchairto time. Since that would put Van Dam on the shelf for a long time, Van Dam blocks it and hits a quick Five Star for the pin to retain.

Rating: C-. Just filler here but man alive Van Dam was being wasted here. The guy was way over and these random Hardcore Title defenses aren’t giving him anything at all. He just beat the European Champion and it’s another day at the office for him. Christian would get a lot better in the next few years of course but here, RVD was way ahead of him.

William Regal vs. Bradshaw

This is still during the phantom brass knuckles stage for Regal so if you don’t see the ending coming here, I can’t help you. There’s about 50 seconds before the knuckles shot and then it’s over. Fill in the blank spot with whatever basic and generic offense from either guy you want.

Taz pops up on screen from WWF New York and talks (and flubs lines) long enough for Edge to run in and beat up Regal. They’re fighting at the PPV.

Austin Desire video.

Angle and Vince talk about kissing mens’ rectums.

Trish Stratus/The Rock vs. Vince McMahon/Kurt Angle

Why is Jerry always so shocked that Vince is ripped? Rock and Angle start things off and a Vince distraction gives Angle the advantage. Rock grabs a legsweep for two and shrugs off some punches to hit a Samoan Drop for two. A belly to belly throw sends Angle into the corner and he accidentally tags Vince. Vince immediately tags out and Rock gets suplexed down again. Now Vince comes in and we get the old technique of cutting the camera at every moment of contact of the punches from Vince.

Vince knocks Trish to the floor to really prove he’s evil. Well he has to after doing the incredibly popular stripping. Trish gets back up as Vince gets slammed down. There’s the tag to Trish who beats the tar out of Vince, which I don’t think he’s complaining about for the most part. She goes to hit Vince low but Angle shoves her down. Trish hits Angle low and there’s the hot tag to Rock.

He cleans house and hits the DDT on Angle for two but accidentally clotheslines the referee down. Angle Slam gets no count and here’s Jericho for a Lionsault on Rocky. That eventually gets two and now it’s time for Vince to go after Trish. He chases her up the ramp, likely from attempted rape, and there’s Austin. He beats up Vince because that’s what Steve Austin does, before clotheslining Angle onto the top rope. Rock Bottom gets the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine I guess but man this Vince stuff is creepy. I don’t mean it makes him evil. I mean it’s CREEPY. We have Trish running away from a man that is obsessed with shoving her face onto his body. That’s freaking WEIRD and I really don’t want to know what goes on inside Vince’s psyche. The match was fine.

Vince and Angle argue to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Other than the tournament matches, I defy you to name two matches on Sunday. Also at the end of the day, they’ve made it seem impossible for anyone but Austin or Rock to win the title, because they’ve done a great job at making Angle and Jericho look like total jokes. Like I said: guess who wins the thing and then became a lame duck as a result.

Here’s Vengeance if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/08/26/vengeance-2001-they-picked-vengeance-to-unite-the-titles-really/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 26, 2001
Location: The Myriad, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well after last week we’re in a brand new era for WWE as we have Vince and Flair as co-owners of the company. Vince had his mind blown to end Raw last week and Austin is now the top good guy again. This sets us up for Vengeance but we need a concept for that. I wonder if we could think of something that would get people to watch while at the same time throwing away what could have been the main event of Wrestlemania at the same time. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from earlier today with Vince coming in to see Flair. Flair yells at him for what Vince said about him on Smackdown. Apparently Vince put Jericho in a handicap match and made Austin get a 5-1 beatdown. Vince says he’ll make it up to him.

After the theme song, here are Vince and Angle. Vince gets right to the chase and says that someone else is joining his club tonight. But first, Kurt has something to say. Angle talks about dominating the sandbox and then the Boy Scouts. Then in high school he was the toughest kid in Glee Club and the prom king. Then he got a full ride to Clarion University and graduated Magna Cum Laude. Then he dominated the Olympics and the WWF. He says he’ll win the title at Vengeance and I begin to chuckle.

We get a clip from the end of Raw last week with Austin beating up both guys. Then on Thursday everyone got together and beat Austin down, led by Regal. Vince doesn’t think Austin wants to go through another war with him, so instead tonight Austin will be joining Vince’s special club.

Regal, Christian, Test and the Dudleys, the five guys that beat Austin down, find this hilarious. Regal says Austin is going to try to take all of them out so they should stick together. Flair comes in and says they’re all in matches tonight. If anyone interferes in another match, they’re suspended. Austin isn’t allowed to interfere either.

European Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Christian

Christian is defending. Jeff starts with a quick mule kick but he tries a flip and staggers on the landing. Apparently he’s lightheaded. Gee I wonder why. Christian stomps on the head and here’s Matt for moral support. Jeff comes back with a jawbreaker but Christian rolls away before the Swanton can be launched. Jeff sets to dive to the floor but Matt gets in his way because it’s too dangerous. Christian posts Matt, sending Jeff crashing off the top, allowing Christian to steal the pin to retain. Short but it was about the Hardys and not the match.

Post break Matt yells at Jeff. Jeff yells back about who is smarter. Lita is told to shut up.

Hardcore Title: D-Von Dudley vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is defending and D-Von is a tag champion. D-Von immediately hits him with a stop sign, which in real life would be grounds for near death but here it puts Van Dam down for about 6 seconds. D-Von goes to the floor where Van Dam moonsaults him for two. Back inside and D-Von hits a big powerbomb to take Van Dam down for no cover.

A HARD trashcan lid shot to the head puts Van Dam down but again Rob won’t sell very long and superkicks D-Von down. Rob goes up but get neckbreakered down onto a chair for a delayed two. Van Dam goes up but gets crotched again. Sell that? Nah. Instead he shoves D-Von off the ropes and hits the Five Star to retain.

Rating: C-. Van Dam’s non selling was really annoying but D-Von’s offense looked good. I always liked him better than Bubba but Bubba has about 10,000x more personality so Bubba got the probably better deserved push. Anyway, the match was fine given that it lasted about three and a half minutes and was a forgone conclusion.

Regal needs to go to the bathroom and Christian (after translating Regal’s European) and company agree to go with him. Bubba: “I ain’t holding nothing!”

Edge’s Creed Desire video.

The four guys all go to the restroom at once and Big Show is in there too. Regal is scared by D-Von coming in and….uh…..goes on Show. I think you know where this is going.

Stacy says nothing of note.

Lawler has a telestrator (the pen on the screen) of what just happened.

Women’s Title: Stacy Keibler vs. Trish Stratus

Bra and panties match with Trish defending. What exactly are you expecting here? Stacy can’t wrestle and is in high heels. Stacy is wearing a thong and takes Trish’s top off. Trish takes Stacy’s top off but the Stratusfaction is broken up. Stacy stands on Trish’s hair but gets rolled up and has her skirt/shorts takes off to lose the match. Next. Oh and Trish pins Stacy for absolutely no apparent reason.

Here’s Rock because we need more time spent on talking/not wrestling tonight. Rock says he’ll be the first undisputed champion after Vengeance. He talks about how great he is and thinks it should be Rock vs. Austin for the undisputed title. But they’re just the world champions right now so why bother doing that? I mean, WE HAVE TO DO THIS BY VENGEANCE, so we don’t have time to waste on setting up a big match right? Rock imitates Vince which goes nowhere and is only somewhat funny.

FINALLY Jericho comes out to interrupt this. Rock is usually awesome but dang this was a miss for him so far. Jericho brags about beating Rock with the Rock Bottom before saying there’s a weakness in himself. That weakness was caring about the fans and what they thought of him. Caring about them never got him anywhere though, which is true actually. Now he’s larger than life and he’s going to beat Rock at Vengeance to become Undisputed Champion. Rock says he’ll win and that’s about it. This somehow took almost ten minutes, which is longer than any match tonight will be or has been.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Test

Edge is champion coming in. Edge immediately goes up to the middle rope for a clothesline for two but Test knees him in the ribs to take over. A clothesline in the corner gets two but Edge comes back with that half nelson face first slam of his. The spinwheel kick takes Test down and Edge takes over. The big boot from Test misses but the Edgecution is blocked. Test powerbombs Edge down and puts his feet on the ropes for two. A pumphandle slam and powerbomb from Test are both countered so Edge loads up the spear which hits the referee for the ultra lame DQ.

Rating: D+. Freaking TEST can’t lose clean here? Seriously? What in the world was the point of this? Edge wouldn’t face Test at the PPV and it’s not like Edge had to do something to get disqualified because he wasn’t going to win. I don’t get this one at all and the match wasn’t any good on top of that.

Test gets a chair but Scotty 2 Hotty and Albert come out for the save, which set up a worthless tag at the PPV which Edge had nothing to do with.

Angle is curious about which cheek Austin is going to have to kiss tonight. Regal comes in and tries to get out of his match with Big Show. Vince offers Regal some advice which we can’t hear. This REALLY needed its own segment didn’t it?

Big Show vs. William Regal

Regal knocks Show off the apron because William Regal is a real man’s man. Nothing of note happens for about 40 seconds until Booker T comes in (wasn’t he fired because of Survivor Series?), allowing Regal to use the knucks on Show for the pin. Another minute long match that served no purpose at all. Oh and if you couldn’t guess: nope, this didn’t set up Booker vs. Big Show at the PPV.

Taker comes in to see Vince and he’s not happy. Vince says he cares about Undertaker and says he’s done nothing but respect Taker that whole time. Oh…..Vince is a lying son of a gun. He says Taker owes him. Vince is a lot taller than I thought he was. Either that or he’s standing on a box. Basically Vince says do something for him or get fired and not get to beat people up anymore. This also takes like two minutes somehow.

Lance Storm is mopping floors at WWF New York.

WWF had a float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle vs. The Rock

Oh never mind as Flair comes out to make it a tag match. Now the logical move would be to add Austin to this so you can have the four guys in the tournament in the same match. That would be the logical move though.

Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle vs. The Rock/Kane

Big brawl to start with Rock getting double teamed in the ring. Angle hits a big German and starts with the Great One. Off to Jericho who fires off some Flair chops in the corner, only to get punched in the face for his efforts. Jericho bulldogs him down for two and it’s back to Kurt. Rock suplexes Angle down and makes the tag to Kane who calls back to back spots very loudly.

A tilt-a-whirl slam gets two so here’s Angle instead. Jericho breaks up a chokeslam with a missile dropkick and things break down enough for Kane to get double teamed. A double suplex gets two on the big fried freak and it’s back to Jericho again. That goes nowhere so Angle comes in to get powerslammed, allowing Kane to bring in Rock to face Jericho. There’s the Sharpshooter on Jericho but Angle saves, only to get clotheslined down by Kane. Jericho loads up a Rock Bottom but Rock counters into a DDT for the clean pin. Yep, just a DDT.

Rating: C-. This was back in the day when they were going with the old formula of “have a guy lose over and over and over until he wins a shocker and now you need to respect him because those losses are completely forgotten somehow.” Nothing to see here other than a short (seven minutes, nearly double the second longest match of the night) main event tag.

Jericho takes the Rock Bottom post match because he couldn’t lose to that in the match for whatever reason. Angle saves Jericho from a chair shot because why would you want one of the people standing in the way of being Undisputed Champion to get hurt?

Vince talks to the five heels that have been around all night and says Austin will indeed kiss him. Regal gives Vince some Chapstick.

Austin has apparently had about 15 beers tonight.

Here’s Vince to close the show. Vince tells everyone that they would do the same thing Austin would do and they all know it. Cue Austin and Vince is WAY too excited about this. He wants Austin on his knees so Austin says WHAT a lot. Vince says the war won’t have to start if Austin just does this so Austin has some more beer. Austin wants to bury the hatchet so there go Vince’s pants. First of all, Vince gives him Chapstick and mouthwash. Remember people, we couldn’t have a match make it to seven and a half minutes but we’re at eight with this.

Austin gets on his knees and asks for one of Vince’s tricks. He asks Vince if he uses toilet paper and then low blows Vince. Naturally Vince, with his pants down, gets whipped by a belt. How has Linda’s Senate opponent not gotten his hands on this tape yet? The five guys plus Angle come out and brawl to the back with Austin but we still have like eight minutes left.

Angle stays in the ring with Vince and JR gets caught laughing. We’re in Oklahoma City so you knew it was going to happen sooner or later. Angle goes and gets JR to throw him into the ring. Vince says he’s going to make JR kiss it instead but as Angle is forcing him down, here’s Taker for the save. Taker gets the mic and lists off all the people that have come and gone (including Savage and Bret who were somewhat taboo names at this point) and they all kissed up to Vince.

More than anyone else though, Taker did it. He’s put up with Vince for years now and wants to know if JR was going to do it. JR says no, and Taker asks does that mean you think you’re better than me. A big right hand takes JR down and we have a heel turn. Did I mention that Vince has his pants and underwear down with his back to the camera? Taker puts JR’s hat on Vince and makes him kiss Vince, before Vince gallops around the ring like a horse and spanks himself (still with pants down) with JR’s hat to end the show. Oh and Taker’s match at the PPV for this big turn: a Hardcore Title match, just like D-Von Dudley had tonight.

Overall Rating: F. I’ve seen bad shows and I’ve seen boring shows, but very rarely do I find shows that tick me off. This one did that in spades. Vince McMahon was in the ring for over thirty minutes tonight. That’s ¼ of the show and doesn’t include all the backstage stuff he did. Almost twenty of that was for a segment involving him having another man’s face placed on his body. The total amount of wrestling on this show: roughly 21 minutes.

Let me repeat that. We had roughly fifty percent MORE Vince than we had wrestling. This is the company that at this point owned the roster of every major wrestling company in the country. Guys like Booker T and Lance Storm, two incredibly talented guys, are being used for brief cameos while guys like Rob Van Dam are used to fill in time against D-Von Freaking Dudley. Angle can’t get more than seven minutes of ring time and the world title tournament is considered a secondary angle because Vince need to be spanked on national television.

Let’s stick on this title tournament being considered secondary again. This is the WWF Title being united with the WCW Title. There are three weeks between Survivor Series and Vengeance. The poster for Vengeance has HHH, a guy who hasn’t wrestled in over seven months, featured alone on it. There’s no real need for a tournament and there’s no real justification for having it at Vengeance other than to have it close out the year.

The company is an absolute mess right now and it would only get worse when HHH came back and Jericho, the guy who would win the tournament, would be given a back seat to HHH vs. Stephanie, who wasn’t even gone two months. There is nothing good going on right now but the solution was obvious: WE NEED MORE VINCE!

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Vengeance 2001
Date: December 9, 2001
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 11,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The first one here is kind of huge as we unify the WWF and WCW World Titles. Norcal and I have spent months if not years trying to figure out why this is at Vengeance and not like a month later at the Rumble. The idea is that HHH was supposed to be the first Undisputed Champion but wasn’t ready yet. But he was back at the Rumble so why didn’t they just do it there? Or at Mania for that matter?

Either way, it’s more or less a small tournament with Austin vs. Angle for the WWF Title and Rock vs. Jericho for the WCW Title, then the winners fight. Austin and Rock are Austin and Rock, Angle kept beating Austin and Jericho was the best in the world at the time. Other than that, there’s nothing of note on the card. Let’s get to it.

We open with this weird old silent movie that allegedly was made by Freddie Blassie about having only one champion. It’s freaky to put it mildly. Seriously, this is disturbing. Sinner is a good song once we get to the arena at least.

And here’s Vince. Apparently on Thursday, Vince got his head shoved into Rikishi. Good to know. We’re in the full fledged WHAT stage at the moment too so that’s getting old quickly. Vince is upset that the fans laughed at it like it was some kind of comedy skit. A man that walks with his chest out like a girl trying to make sure you notice her had his head shoved into the fat of a thong-wearing street dancing sumo wrestler and Vince is mad that it’s being treated like a comedy skit.

The whole idea of Vince at times is one of the funniest things in the world. He says “he who laughs last laughs best”. And here’s Flair who owns half of the company at the moment. Why do I feel like I’m watching Impact? Flair looks like an idiot. Yeah it’s Impact. We’re pushing ten minutes into the show and the youngest guy so far has been Vince McMahon. Flair starts a match.

Albert/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Christian/Test

GO BACK TO THE OLD GUYS! Albert is the Hip Hop Hippo at the moment. Egads. They aren’t the Unamericans yet. And the Heat match was the APA vs. Billy and Chuck. Why can’t we see that instead? You know these reviews aren’t really as angry as they used to be. Granted that could be because these shows are far less insulting to my intelligence. They may be weaker shows but they’re competent at least which is more than a lot of shows give you.

Christian is European Champion at the time. Albert is the Hip Hop Hippo at this point. Take me now. And remember people: this guy was INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION. He was one of those guys that always seemed like was on the verge of a big push but it never happened. Lawler makes some bad jokes about potential names for the faces. He’s just making this more painful if that’s somehow possible. Wow it’s weird seeing Teddy Long as a worthless referee.

Far more used to him being a useless GM. Scotty and Test work the majority of this match for reasons that completely elude me. Oh look it’s Albert vs. Christian rather than Test vs. Albert, as in you know, FORMER TAG PARTNERS FIGHTING. I guess that would make too much sense. We get a Giant Swing and a Don Leo Jonathan reference. Wow indeed. Albert just massacres both heels.

With some tweeking to his gimmick, he could have been passable. And now Christian does the Worm. We get a surprisingly decent sequence as Scotty is down. And of course we get the Worm. These kinds of moves are just stupid. A simple bulldog keeps Test down for about 20 seconds which it takes for the setup for it? See why that’s idiotic? Baldo Bomb, a two handed chokeslam into a powerbomb, ends it. It actually got a pop.

Rating: D. Just…why? What in the world was the point of having this match on PPV? This was something that belonged on Velocity or Heat or something like that. It was as generic as you could ask a match to be also. This was just a head scratcher and not that good.

Regal cuts a decent promo on Edge. Now bad at all.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

So Edge at this time is getting a massive push as he goes from a tag team star to more or less the top of the midcard in less than six months. Think of him like what the Miz has been doing for the last year or so, but even faster. He was as popular as ever and allegedly was going to win the Raw World Title at the next Survivor Series in the debut of the Elimination Chamber but Shawn and HHH decided Shawn should more or less come in off the streets and beat HHH, Jericho, Booker T, RVD and Kane instead.

Edge has been laughing at Regal for a long time to set this up. Great heat on Regal. More or less the British guy is just doing very bad things to Edge with all kinds of ridiculous strikes and basic stuff. Edge busts out a hurricanrana of all things. Before he hurt his neck, he was a completely different worker. Check out his 2002 stuff and you’ll be very impressed. Edge goes for a spear on the floor and hits the steps, allowing Regal to get some brass knuckles.

That was his big thing at the time and it was a very solid heel tactic to use. He throws out back to back Tiger Drivers in a surprising sequence. Not sure why it’s surprising but that’s the first thing that came to mind. Regal goes for the brass knuckles but takes a spear for Edge to get a quick pin. Regal made that match for the most part.

Rating: D+. This just missed for me. It’s not terrible or anything, but at the same time it just felt like there wasn’t much here. Regal more or less dominated but took a quick spear to get pinned. Not sure how much I like that at all. Still though, the crowd was really into this which helped it a lot. Again, not terrible but not very good at all.

Flair is on the phone and Angle comes in. He’s a 14 time champion here so somewhere he picked up two more. I guess they gave him two more NWA reigns somewhere.

Lita, the guest referee for the next match, is stretching. Matt comes in and says he’s sorry for dragging Lita into this. Lita with straight hair is freaking delicious looking. She’s going to call it right down the middle.

We recap the Hardys’ rise to this point. Cool memories if nothing else. They’re fighting because Jeff has been costing them a bunch of stuff lately, namely because he keeps trying high spots rather than winning matches.

Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy

Lita is guest referee here of course. Dang she looked great back then. Jeff has that stupid hat on like he used to wear back then for no explained reason. The fans like Lita more than anyone else. I can’t blame them as this was just a few steps ahead of Cryme Tyme exploding. This works SO much better as face vs. face rather than face vs. heel like they were trying to do last year at Mania.

The psychology is here too as you have two guys that know each other very well and keep countering each others’ signature stuff. The main thing here though is Lita as she’s dating Matt but is being fair. It’s a nice aspect to it that adds tension and fits the storyline perfectly. Jeff gets a nice counter to avoid being powerbombed onto the floor. Sloppy, but it was intelligent at least. Jeff hurts his leg getting back in and Matt goes for it. This is very basic but it’s coming off quite well.

Matt is clearly the heel in this as he won’t let go of a half crab when Jeff is in the ropes, I guess assuming Lita would never DQ him. Crowd likes Jeff more. I’m stunned too. Jeff blocks a Twist of Fate with that leg drop he would do at times. The killer instinct isn’t here again just like last time though. They keep countering the Twist of Fate which makes sense. Maybe it could have something to do with standing there in that position and the other guy shouting before doing it.

That would give me a hint as to what was coming if nothing else. Matt is kind of hinting at full heel here and it’s working fairly well. He’s about 40lbs lighter here also. Twist of Fate off the second rope is blocked and Jeff gets the Swanton for the clean pin. This was just missing something and I think it was the full hatred. That and this wasn’t a huge match yet, although it was getting close.

Rating: B-. Not terrible and WAY better than the Mania 25 match. This was far more ground based and it came off pretty well. It’s no classic by any means, but it’s certainly a passable match. Matt flirting with going heel worked. And then they were all fine and good at the Rumble so none of that mattered.

Rock and Trish have a weird moment. How hot would their kids be? She kisses him on the cheek. Rock more or less says after tonight, come see him again and he’ll screw her. Ok then.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Big Show/Kane

Stacy is managing the Dudleys here and I’ve always thought this was her hottest period, which is saying a whole lot. The Dudleys weren’t useless yet at this point. Since it’s 2001, Show destroys both of the champions. Kane takes them both out with a double top rope clothesline. Show spanks Stacy. Ok then. A red thong shot on Stacy is never bad though. Yeah I don’t care about this match in the slightest. Kane destroys both of them.

Big Show destroys both of them. Some of you may be beginning to notice a pattern here. Kane accidentally hits the top rope clothesline on Show. To my complete and utter shock, Show and Kane get into an argument. Oh and Show is wearing his sexy one piece swimsuit. I can’t stand that thing. I truly can’t.

Is that supposed to look good? Is he supposed to be intimidating? Show goes after Stacy…again. D-von tries for the save and SLAMS INTO STACY. Yeah thanks for helping there bubbles. The champions take a turnbuckle pad off and slam Show into it with a double flapjack, naturally called 3D by JR.

Rating: F+. This just was not interesting at all. Show vs. Kane has been DONE. And I mean done a LOT. The ending was creative and Stacy was hot though. Even still though, this just didn’t work at all. The styles clash was so apparent here and it didn’t come off well at all.

Don’t try this at home. Feel free to though at your grandparents’ house.

Lita tries to apologize. It doesn’t work.

Sinner is the theme song. I saw that band last night.

So Taker was ticked off at Vince for not telling him that Angle was the mole in the Alliance. Because of that, he turned heel and started his RESPECT ME thing. He talked about all the people he beat up and that he kissed up to VInce more than anyone else. He saved JR from kissing up to Vince, and then beat him up and made him kiss it. Nicely done. Oh and he went after RVD. This was his heel turn for a long time.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. The Undertaker

Taker still gets face pops, but that likely has something to do with the Limp Bizkit song and the Harley. I say the song because it lowers intelligence so much that people forget what they were told on television. Oh and Taker got a massive haircut. Van Dam doesn’t have his signature theme yet at this point but it was coming soon. Like the next night or close to it soon. Taker is the America tough guy here and the style is remarkably different.

We hit the crowd here which at least makes sense due to the hardcore aspect. This is actually a pretty interesting match from a star power perspective, although it would be like 5 years before RVD was a main event guy. Never mind his solid in ring stuff (no it’s not as great as it’s made out to be) and the MASSIVE pops he got. He just wasn’t ready yet and wouldn’t be for years. Also he was out like a year with a bad knee so that wasn’t something anyone could control.

We get to the weapons and RVD saves himself with a fire extinguisher. Van Dam does a balcony dive and in an amusing visual, the stuff they land on shoots up a bunch of dust. It might have been Taker. They’re fighting behind the TitanTron now and you can see why WWF was so far ahead of ECW when it was still in business: there is a camera right there with a perfect shot of them. You can see every single thing that happens rather than seeing a random arm or leg. It’s very nice indeed.

Taker picks him up and rams him head first into the set which he goes partially through. Nice looking spot. Van Dam gets Rolling Thunder on the stage since a head injury that severe of course is something you can get up from very quickly. Van Dam does his running chair shot dropkick thing and it’s called a Van Daminator.

I would ask if JR ever watched ECW but I think I already know the answer to that. Taker wears him out with a chair and of course he’s fine. Van Daminator misses and RVD gets chokeslammed off the stage through some tables and is pinned. Taker as Hardcore Champion is an interesting idea.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but the majority of the rating comes from the oddness of seeing Taker in the midcard title hunt. Having a guy like RVD rub elbows with a guy like Taker is only a good thing for him at this point, although this was Taker trying out his new image and I’m not so sure how it was working. Fun match though and not your traditional hardcore stuff at all.

Jericho comes in and complains to Flair about….life in general I guess. Flair is half owner in case I forgot to mention that. Jericho’s big thing was he can’t win the big one, which is the case here. The Brand Split hadn’t happened yet either. I think that was the night after Mania or like 2 weeks after that.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline

To say Trish looks good in white is a dramatic understatement. I think this is her first title reign as they didn’t know she had talent until around this time. Seriously, who cares about Jackie? I can’t think of a soul that does. This isn’t interesting at all. Stratusfaction is blocked before it has a name. Trish wins with a backslide of all things in like 3 minutes.

Rating: N/A. Just boring and not interesting at all. See what I mean by how boring this was? That was proper English to me. Trish wasn’t any good yet and it was apparent.

We recap Vince getting his head shoved into Rikishi. The look on his face is priceless. You have to give him this: there is very little Vince won’t do for his company. No one can take that away from him.

At WWF New York, Rikishi is there. He says he’s back. I guess we’ll forgive the whole vehicular manslaughter thing. There was no point to this whole thing apparently.

We recap Survivor Series where these were the final four and Jericho and Rock beat the Alliance. Vince says Austin is stripped and as the sole owner of the company, he’s naming Angle as world champion. Enter Flair, who says that’s not the case as Rock is still the (WCW) World Champion. That sets us up to hear. There’s a montage in there somewhere but you can figure that out.

WWF Title: Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin

Austin comes in as champion. These two had a very good rivalry in August/September. Austin as champion just feels right. They start off slow. Seeing these two as face vs. face is kind of weird. We knew Angle was great at the time but Austin was a legend to put it mildly. Ok scratch that Angle as a face part I think. It’s actually hard to tell. Weird to say but it’s true. I’m pretty sure he had Kane at Mania. Actually yeah he is a heel. Yeah I’m pretty sure that’s right.

Austin runs from a mat wrestling thing so at least he’s thinking out there. This is a chess game to start us off which is very odd indeed. Austin works on the arm. See what I mean? When do you remember him doing something like that? I guess it would be difficult for him to do his normal stuff with just one good arm. Angle…shakes it off I guess and starts stomping Austin. Austin stays on the arm though which is the right thing to do. Now, is Angle smart enough to sell the stupid thing?

Ankle lock is on and the arm seems fine to me. Ah there are the ropes. Angle goes for the leg. At least that makes sense. Just like most main event guys, Angle had solid chemistry with Austin. I love watching Angle bust out suplexes, especially when he’s healthy. He freaking LAUNCHES people. Angle starts busting out Germans, which is a really awesome and simple move when you think about it: you pick up a guy and slam them on the back of their head.

That just sounds painful doesn’t it? The moonsault of course misses. Did he EVER hit that in WWF? It looked perfect if nothing else. Thesz Press hits, the crowd pops. Yeah he was still WAY over at this point. Austin shows his coolness and busts out Rolling Germans of his own.

He even goes further than Angle, hitting FIVE of them. Dang that would have freaking hurt. Angle hits another German. Oh wait he spun around about 9 degrees so it’s the Angle Slam. Got it. It gets two and there’s the Stunner to end it. Austin is in the main event.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here as always from these two. I don’t think anyone believed Austin would lose here. I mean while he’s past his prime at this point, he’s still a huge star. Still though, very solid match as these two brought out some good stuff in each other. Seeing Austin mix things up was always fun.

Trish is in a towel and getting ready, when Test comes in. More or less he hits on her and she doesn’t like it, but he can’t be fired. In other words, sexual harassment laws are trumped by battle royal victories. Sure why not? Vehicular manslaughter and necrophilia and assault and battery are never prosecuted here, so why not harassment?

World Championship: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Yeah the WCW Title is the World Championship, which actually sounds more encompassing than the WWF Title, but why use logic? This was a pretty solid feud back in the day, if nothing else for the promos. Jericho is heel here. Seeing Rock bust out armdrags and leapfrogs makes me appreciate him even more. Remember, he’s about the same size as Batista or so. Imagine a guy Batista’s size doing athletic things like that. I love that springboard dropkick that Jericho does. It’s just awesome looking.

This is more of a fight than the last match as the angle was more built up in this pairing. Jericho hits a sleeper like five minutes in which is odd. Jericho is no Dolph Ziggler though so it doesn’t work. Lionsault gets two as Jericho is FREAKING. We hit the floor and this has more or less been all Jericho. Like I said earlier, he was probably at the best he ever was in his career around this time and he’s getting to showcase it here. I love when guys break a count that isn’t happening.

How often do count outs consistently get threatened? Jericho gets DDTed through the table. Didn’t look as good as it sounded. The replay makes it look a bit better. It’s fun watching Rock throw punches. Jericho hooks a Breakdown, which is more commonly known as a Skull Crushing Finale. Jericho hits the People’s Elbow, and when I say hit I mean misses completely and almost gets hooked in the Sharpshooter.

Somehow he gets the Walls, but since he’s a heel at the time it doesn’t work at all. Actually he has a Sharpshooter on Rock. Same result though. Rock hits the Rock Bottom out of NOWHERE. That was sweet. And here’s Vince. At least it makes sense in storyline terms. Rock goes for the Elbow, but stops to fight Vince.

He drops a regular elbow and of course Jericho gets up because IT IS A REGULAR ELBOW DROP. Jericho gets a low blow and Rock Bottom to win the world title. Ok then. Hearing it called the world champion is odd to say the least.

Rating: B-. This was a different style than the previous match which is a nice touch I think as it was for a different title. I’d hardly think it was intentional, but it came off pretty well. Jericho was great in the ring, but I still want to see him wrestle as a face champion. It really could work.

Austin is here NOW for the title match. Jericho isn’t even back to his feet yet when Austin is stomping him.

Undisputed Title: Chris Jericho vs. Steve Austin

Nearly immediately, Angle is here and hits him with a chair. Rock is here and hits a Rock Bottom. I guess this makes us even? The fans chant for HHH, who was semi-advertised for the show. He was in a short video earlier and that’s about it. He’ll be back in about a month to the loudest pop I have ever heard. We hit the floor for a bit with Austin dominating. Ok make that a LONG bit. Jericho goes for the Walls on the remaining table but it doesn’t work of course.

Jericho hooks an armbar despite Austin LIMPING to the ring and having Angle working on the knee the whole match. The Walls go on and there goes the referee since this is still an Attitude-Era style. HHH chant again. Jericho hits a Stunner. Vince brings out another referee, Nick Patrick in this case. I’m SHOCKED! They’re OVERBOOKING A TITLE MATCH! Flair is here and the old guys go at it, foreshadowing their match at the Rumble. Austin hits McMahon to a BIG pop.

See, it still worked to an extent. Jericho taps to the Walls (you read that right) and there’s no referee. BOOKER T comes out and blasts Austin with a belt. And yes, THAT is how they end it, and I never realized this was Austin’s final match as a world champion. Yeah, Austin leaves the title picture other than a one off rematch at No Way Out like this, thanks to Booker T. WOW. Jericho holds up both belts with Ross freaking. Wow this came off bad at the end.

Rating: C-. This was overbooked to heck and back. Even once Flair came in, I was hating it. Booker costing Austin the title is fine to build a storyline, but at the same time, it just didn’t work for me. The match wasn’t terrible, but it’s a total letdown, which fits this show perfectly.

OverallRating: C-. The problem here is simple: the Undisputed Title, the first one EVER, was at a throwaway PPV like Vengeance. Seriously, this is in December and between Survivor Series and the Rumble. This is a filler PPV and they have the Undisputed Title decided here? The ending, while putting it on the right man in Jericho, was just BUTCHERED as it took like 4 people to beat Austin. Jericho needed to go over almost cleanly here and he didn’t do it.

Heck he didn’t even beat Rock clean. Other than the final three matches, nothing here matters at all. This just did not live up anywhere near to what it should have been and it’s not a good show as a result. Definitely worth seeing for the historical aspect though.

Summerslam 2001
Date: August 19, 2001
Location: Compaq Center, San Jose, California
Attendance: 15,293
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Ok, I know I usually say little is different, but in this case, just about everything is different. WCW in its original form is dead, having been bought by Vince for an insane two million dollars just 5 months prior to this. The Invasion is going on at the moment as WWF is battling the ECW/WCW Alliance. Tonight we have a double main event of Steve Austin vs. Angle for the WWF Title and Booker T vs. Rock for the WCW Title.

Either way, this show is just a complete 180 from last year. Also HHH is injured having torn his quad about 3 months ago. The roster has been more or less put on steroids now with guys like RVD, Booker T, DDP, Rhyno, Tajiri and Lance Storm here now. Oh and Lawler quit over his witch of a wife being fired.

Finally, Austin is top heel now, having left WWF for the Alliance, saying that he’ll have better competition now, which is completely stupid as he’s fighting the same guys he was fighting before the Invasion, but who am I to critique the genius of Vince McMahon and his Invasion storyline?

The angle could have been far better, but there’s been laundry lists of reasons given about why it didn’t work, with the big one being that they didn’t wait long enough, but I’ll drop that before I go into a page and a half long rant. Let’s get started.

WOW. This video package to open the show is AWESOME. It’s set to Drowning Pool’s Bodies, which is still the best live performance of a song that I’ve ever heard. This looks like the opening to a TV show or something and is just well done all around. It looks awesome and is one of the best video openings I’ve ever seen. Actually, here it is.

Intercontinental Title: Lance Storm vs. Edge

A lot of the stories tonight are going to consist of this: WWF vs. Alliance, and that’s what this would be classified as. Storm was the midcard Alliance guy so they gave him the IC belt to help even out the title scene. Edge gets a huge pop. This should be good. Edge was at an odd stage in his career at this point, where he and Christian were way too big of a deal to be a tag team anymore and Edge was clearly on the verge of being a breakout star.

He won the KOTR this year with he and Christian feuded over the KOTR Cup and yes I said Cup. This is very solid for the first five minutes or so with Edge having a completely different style around this time. He would get hurt in I think 2003 just as he was on the verge of the main event push and be out for over a year. His style back then was much more well rounded with more high flying but everything else just about the same as it is now.

Lance Storm has a very odd stomp, as he kicks his left foot forward and then stomps with the right boot. He must be doing something right though as he’s the only wrestler ever, and I do mean only one ever, that could make a half Boston Crab seem like a deadly submission move. We cut back to the WWF locker room to see everyone crowded around a monitor watching the match.

That’s something that could have worked well in the NWO angle, which is what this is a redoing of, and while it’s not as good, I don’t think it’s as bad as everyone says it was. Heyman’s commentary is great as he can play the cocky heel as well as anyone ever on the headset could. Edge starts his comeback as we get a gem of a line by JR: “Powerbomb by Edge. It was a powerbomb.” The more I listen to him, the more I shake my head.

Anyway, they both almost get their finishers but they can’t quite get there. For no apparent reason, Christian comes out and tries to spear Storm but misses and hits Edge which gets two. We get a nice sequence of holds and counters but Edge catches Storm in the inverted DDT which he needs to go back to for the pin and the title. Christian hands him the belt and leaves in a weird moment.

Rating: B. Another solid Summerslam opener here as they were going fast paced and slow paced in a perfect balance. Both guys were working hard and it was a solid pairing that gives you a nice title change that was more or less clean. Good way to get the show going.

Test and the Dudleys are heading to the ring but are cut off by Michael Cole, somehow looking less heterosexual than he does now. Test has left the WWF because he’s tired of being upstaged. The Dudleys left because they’re tired of Spike and his girlfriend Molly getting the glory, so we get a six man out of it.

Jericho says that he’ll beat Rhyno tonight. He also gets some funny jokes in about Stephanie’s morals and plastic surgery.

Spike Dudley/APA vs. Test/Dudley Boys

Molly with the blonde hair and in the blue top is beyond pretty. Just absolutely gorgeous. Test cost the APA the tag titles, leading to this match. The white shirts on the WCW referees just look stupid. They start off with the faces beating the heels up and then Spike comes in. Now Spike reminds me of X-Pac. He tries so hard but his size is just too much to overcome.

Why should I believe that a guy that I outweigh by nearly a hundred pounds can beat up someone that outweighs me by 100lbs? Simply put, I don’t and I never have. He was fine as a cruiserweight guy, but he had no business being in there with big men. I get that it was his gimmick, but I couldn’t stand it. We’ve got tables less than 5 minutes into the match so at least we’re not waiting that long for them this time.

The Dudleys do a double flapjack and they throw him so high up they nearly lose their grip on him. That’s just downright impressive. This is actually a very fast match as the faces take over again for just a bit, until Spike is launched over the top and through a table. Bradshaw nails Test with a Clothesline, but Shane comes in and blasts him with a chair for the pin. Paul’s line of D-Von, get the ambulance makes me laugh.

Rating: C. It was just a short 6 man without much going on. We do need filler though and that’s what this match was. It was a seven minute match and a ten minute segment in total that was just fine. It’s not bad, it’s not great but I’d call it perfectly acceptable.

In the back, the WWF guys are upset over losing the match but they’re all congratulating Edge over winning the IC Title. Christian comes up and announces that he’s gotten a European Title shot tomorrow night on Raw. No one cares, as their Grandma calls. She talks to Edge and hangs up on Christian which gets a solid laugh.

Shawn Stasiak comes into Debra/Stone Cold’s locker room which ticks off Debra. At the time he was just an idiot character that was trying to impress Austin. He says something about his tights but Debra says if he wants to make an impression to go beat someone up.

Title For Title: Tajiri vs. X-Pac

It’s the light heavyweight championship vs. the cruiserweight championship here in a unification match. Actually, upon further review it’s not, and it’s just to hold both belts. Later on they would be split again until there was suppose to be a unification match at Survivor Series. X-Pac was injured so they just dropped the Light Heavyweight Title and replaced it with the WWF Cruiserweight Title. Uh, I guess that makes sense.

Anyway, let’s get to this. X-Pac at the time was the leader of perhaps the most useless group of all time: X-Factor. It was him, Justin Credible and Albert. They did nothing, they had no feuds, they accomplished nothing. Like I said, they were the most useless stable of all time. Oh yeah Pac is wearing just tights now instead of his singlet. Ross talks about how this is the last Direct TV broadcast of a PPV, as no one really cares.

The surfboard is just absolutely painful looking. See, this is how Pac should have been used the entire time. He simply had no business fighting guys twice his size, just like Spike in the previous match. It makes sense and works much better when he’s fighting guys like these. Oh apparently neither guy is in the Alliance, so this is the one real WWF match all night. Oh what a treat for us.

Both guys have educated feet I guess. This has been almost all X-Pac, and since this is one of my reviews and my timing is worse than a broken Boogeyman clock, Tajiri makes his comeback at that very second. Ok, so maybe this is for a unified title. They’re not very clear about it, but based on what the announcers say it’s for a unified title, yet based on what actually happened, it wasn’t unified until about three months later.

The company continues to amaze me with its complete lack of sense. Anyway, they botch the handspring elbow as X-Pac dives onto his stomach like it’s just a simple hitting of the ropes. Albert comes out and gets on the apron, causing the mist to be blown. A low blow and an X-Factor come as the referee is getting rid of Albert to end this.

Rating: C+. Short and sweet here, but overall it wasn’t bad. They were wrestling people that it made sense for them to wrestle and title for title matches are always cool no matter who is in them. Pac would be hurt soon enough and he would be the guy that had to drop out of the Survivor Series match after Tajiri got the Cruiserweight Title. It made no sense, so go figure.

We go to WWF New York and see Perry Saturn as he searches for Moppy. If you don’t know about this story, do yourself a favor and go look it up. It was one of the dumbest and best angles I’ve ever seen.

Stephanie is with Rhyno and says she picked him to beat Jericho because he’s never beaten Rhyno in the ring. Now table tennis, Parcheesi and Chinese Checkers, those are all different stories.

We get a recap of the feud, which was highlighted by Rhyno goring Jericho through the Smackdown set. Now, after that, he suggests a match with Jericho at Summerslam, which makes sense as he’s already gotten the last laugh, so we have to give the face another chance to get even right?

Chris Jericho vs. Rhyno

The editing is odd here as you get the Jericho interview from earlier in the show here. Not sure why they would do them twice like that. Stephanie looks AWESOME in a black leather dress. Her hair being braded/curled isn’t working so well though. Heyman hates Jericho apparently which is ironic I’d think.

They slug it out to start and Jericho is out of his league here. Top rope elbow to a standing Rhyno which is a move I’ve always liked doesn’t do much. Walls are avoided as Jericho has shifted it to wrestling and has taken over. Jericho gets that springboard dropkick while Rhyno is on the apron. Stephanie distracts Jericho to allow Rhyno to catch him with a Gore as Jericho dives at him to the floor and both guys are down, drawing a holy crap chant.

BIG old slap to Jericho by Stephanie which Ross calls a right hand. That’s true but it’s a bit misleading in wrestling commentary. Body scissors by Rhyno which is one of his signature moves I think. I watched a match of his last night and one today and I think he used it in both. He throws in a freaking airplane spin for two. Can’t say he’s typical.

Rhyno goes up for a splash which Jericho moved out of the way from but Rhyno would have missed even if Jericho hadn’t moved at all. Jericho messes up a springboard but gets something out of it anyway for two. Middle rope dropkick gets a cover but Stephanie literally hugs the referee to stop the cover. Jericho kisses her and then hits the Lionsault for a long two.

Spinebuster by Rhyno sets up the Walls for him and they’re better than the ones Jericho tends to use. Gore misses and the proper version of the Walls, as in the Liontamer, gets the tap.

Rating: B-. Solid stuff here as Rhyno was still worth anything at this point. Jericho of course was great as he was on the verge of going into the main event as a heel which worked out pretty well for him I’d think. This was a lot better than anyone expected I think and it was a solid 12 minute match.

Rock is walking in the back and is stopped by Regal. After a fairly boring promo, Stasiak runs at Rock who casually steps aside, causing Shawn to slam into a wall. Rock completes his promo and leaves.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

This is a ladder match. It occurs to me, Hardy has had a more successful career than Van Dam, and it’s almost not even close. Imagine telling someone that back in 2001. They would have thought you were completely insane. At best for Van Dam, career wise they’re about even. Van Dam was a very interesting case. He was clearly the most popular ECW guy and WWF let him be. Yes he was on the heel team, but they didn’t make him evil.

Van Dam’s character isn’t someone menacing or threatening an they didn’t try to make him one. That’s why he was able to come out of it as a solid face: he always was one. Since I didn’t like the way I reviewed the TLC match at yesterday’s show, I’ll spare you the big long list of sick spots here and try to do more general stuff. For one thing, in this match there’s far less of a plan I think.

I’d guess that in the back, they just told these two to go put on a spot fest and that’s what happened. They go move for move with each other for about 15 minutes and it’s quite entertaining. Both guys can use the ladder very well indees, as they jump all over the place and try to one up each other with their big time moves. During the match, Heyman lists off the attributes of Sabu, yet doesn’t say his name. That just struck me as odd.

Were they not allowed to say it for some reason? I can’t imagine it was a copyright issue or something like that. Also, he’s credited as Van Dam’s mentor. I never really thought of him like that. Near the end they do the big hanging spot with Hardy holding onto the belt, which always seemed a bit stupid to me.

He really can’t unhook the belt with one hand? I find that a bit hard to believe. Anyway the ending is Van Dam just shoves the ladder down with Jeff on it and climbs up to get the belt in a rather anti-climactic ending.

Rating: B-. It was fun, but it wasn’t great. The problem with matches like these is that a lot of the spots have just been done before. We’ve seen all of these moves and while they’re cool, they’re not original anymore. Yeah the match was fun and cool, but it wasn’t great like a lot of them were. It’s still quite good though.

In the back, Booker is warming up for his match as Shane comes in with a present. He gives him book ends (like the Rock Bottom rip off of a finisher that he uses) made from the announce table that he put Rock through last week. That’s actually kind of clever.

We get a recap of the Brothers of Destruction vs. DDP/Kanyon. To me, this was an AWESOME story. Basically, we had seen Taker’s wife Sara (who was very hot, way hotter than McCool) being stalked by a guy that we never saw. He’d have tapes of himself inside their house, of her coming out of the pool, of her in the shower, in their bedroom, etc. The key thing was, you didn’t know who was filming them.

Now I’ve heard a lot of varying rumors as to who he was originally supposed to be revealed as, with the most prominent being Kane. However, it turned out to be DDP. The problem was they kind of discontinued the Sara aspect as DDP just kept getting beat up. Eventually Kanyon came in and Kane backed up Taker. They both won tag titles, so we have another kind of unification match here inside of a cage. In other words, it’s a way for Taker and Kane to kill them both at once.

WWF/WCW Tag Titles: DDP/Kanyon vs. Brothers of Destruction

Oh yeah Kanyon is the US Champion at the same time, so we have five belts in one match. Now aren’t you glad they unified some of them? I have to give them this: the WCW Tag Title belts just look awesome. They run down Taker’s history in cage matches, which is pretty extensive. I actually like the idea of pins and submissions counting here. Taker is a guy that needs to just win with a big knockout move.

Just after Taker and Kane get in, Taker grabs the door and slams it shut in a very cool looking thing. Immediately your heels try to go over the top in separate corners. If I were Taker and Kane, I would have let Kanyon leave. It gives you a handicap against DDP, who is the real hated one. Imagine what you could combine to do to him in that situation. Let the slaughtering begin. The heels actually take over for about 45 seconds which surprises me, but of course it doesn’t last long at all.

This is more or less a tag team beatdown. There is a cool moment though once the heels take over again as they’re both leaving over the top of the cage. The Brothers are down and at the same time they sit up. They follow my advice and let Kanyon leave without any problem, only to beat the living heck out of DDP. For a lot of this beating, Kane is just sitting on the top rope and watching.

Taker yells at Page that he can leave and he’ll let him live, but if he ever looks at Sara again he’ll kill him. Page tries to leave but Taker of course stops him and chokeslams him, before the Last Ride ends this. Dang man Sara is rather hot. Also, the unification lasted less than a month as both belts were individually defended next month.

Rating: C+. This was nothing but a double beating and that’s just fine. No one believed the heels had a chance so the match was booked correctly by not giving them a chance. They were completely destroyed and that’s how it should have been. Page of course turned face soon after this, becoming the motivational tooth guy (look it up).

Rock is with the doctor in the back and cuts a promo on the doctor as Stasiak runs at him again, and the same thing happens but this time the camera doesn’t even follow him. He just goes flying over the table as Rock steps back.

We get the recap of Austin vs. Angle. This was actually an epic match, as the buildup was great. They more or less made Angle into a monster leading up to this, having him beat every big name in the Alliance before finally challenging Austin. Austin had turned on the WWF at InVasion back in I think July, nailing Angle with a chair to give the heels the victory and join them in the process.

In the buildup, Angle had just beaten Austin down at every single turn and it looked like this one was going to be domination. To their credit though, the bookers never made Austin look weak. He was the same Austin that had dominated through the late 90s, but they simply made Angle look better. That’s hard to do but it works very well, as it saves Austin’s credibility as well as makes Angle look better.

WWF Title: Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin

They meet in the aisle as Austin isn’t afraid of Kurt, which I think helps his character a lot. If Austin had just become this little coward, then no one would have bought him as the leader of the heel faction. By keeping him as the tough guy that he always had been, they make the Alliance look that much stronger. For the most part all we have in the first 2 minutes is nothing but punches.

I get why that’s how most big matches start but not two minutes worth. Austin works on the leg which isn’t as odd as you’d think but Angle gets a sweet counter into the ankle lock. The announcers more or less ruin it as they make it clear through their voices that this isn’t it. When I say announcers I mean JR. It’s weird to see Austin being in control for the majority of a match like this. These two are suplexing the tar out of each other, which is just freaking cool.

It’s not often that you see Austin using offense like this but it’s certainly both looking good and working. Angle hits seven or eight in a row, which somehow isn’t the most Austin has ever taken in a row as Benoit once hit I think 13 in a row. That’s just not only sick but impressive that Benoit could keep getting him up as well as he did. Since it’s pro wrestling though, Austin is just fine after a few seconds of resting following that many suplexes.

From out of nowhere, Austin gets a Stunner after about 8 minutes. The crowd has no idea what to think as Austin got it and got it clean. Angle of course kicks out and the second Stunner sends him to the floor. I don’t get why the announcers are so surprised that Angle kicked out. Rock kicked out after about 3 of them at Mania and after about a 20 minute match. Anyway, Austin goes to the floor and just beats the heck out of Angle.

He nearly breaks his leg and it’s Austin doing what he does best. This would have been a standard Austin match in the late 90s actually. See how well this was done? They’ve just turned his allegiance around and now Austin is still what he was before but just working for a different side. They go out into the crowd where Austin hits a suplex over the barrier but doesn’t go down with Angle. Apparently this was the best move ever, despite it being little more than a slam.

Angle counters though and gets the ankle lock on the floor with a downright scary look on his face. He gets it again in the middle of the ring, but he’s in the ropes in all of 4 seconds. Angle is bleeding bad here, like almost Austin at Mania 13 bad. Ok on second look it’s not that bad. Hey, did you know that Angle won an gold medal with a broken neck? Now sure if you’d ever heard something like that.

More suplexes follow as I’m gaining a new appreciation for those things. Angle busts out the moonsault and hits it like Curt Hennig would. Angle is going commando on Austin…whatever that means, but Austin breaks out the cobra clutch, which despite using it at Mania where Ross says that he hasn’t used is since he was the Ringmaster, Austin uses it here for the first time since he was the Ringmaster.

As Angle does the 80s style arm stays up on the third drop, his head is just looking awful. A third Stunner after all that only gets two as the fans are WAY into this. Angle Slam is the counter to the kick, as I continue to try to figure out how the Angle Slam is any different from a belly to back suplex that’s rotated just a bit. Austin hits the referee though after it gets a two as JR is of course, say it with me, FREAKING OUT.

Did you know that JR thought he knew that man? Did you know that? Not sure if you had heard that one or not. Austin low blows Angle and then stuns the other referee as JR is quoting the 25th letter of the alphabet. A THIRD referee comes out and Austin hits him with the belt. Angle hits the slam but JR is SHOCKED that the referee that got hit maybe 4 seconds ago is down. After all that, we get to the odd part of the match.

Nick Patrick, an Alliance referee, runs out, counts ONE time, and then slides out and tells Fink that it’s a DQ. Why in the world  would you count a one and then go for the DQ? I thought he was pulling up because he was going to say his shoulder hurt or something like that, but just to count one and then the DQ? What kind of sense does that even begin to not make?

Naturally, Angle goes off on Patrick with the ankle lock, and I have two observations. One: Patrick taps. Why? Does he think that it’s a match and that’s going to make Angle let go or something? Two: Ross, as usual, says that he’s tapping like a drunk man. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? I’ve been around people when they’re drunk and not once have they tapped. The line makes no sense at all and yet somehow the fans have accepted it.

After the match, Ross goes insane again and just babbles on forever about how he knows Austin can’t beat Angle. I know I make fun of Ross a lot, but this was beyond bad looking. This was bordering on embarrassing. Either way, Austin would lose clean to Angle next month after some of the best promos that I can remember, easily the best Angle has ever done.

Rating: A-. This was an awesome match. Austin went suplex for suplex with Angle and they had huge drama going on near the end. Angle took a freaking beating but kept going. I’m not an Angle fan, but there are times when he gets into that zone of his that he is just flat out mesmerizing. This was one of those nights for him.

We recap Rock vs. Booker as it’s just pathetic to really see how much WCW was just stealing from the WWF at the end. There’s imitating and then there’s just flat out ripping off. WCW was doing that later. It was really just bad, and Booker was the worst of them all.

WCW Title: Rock vs. Booker T

Yes, the main event of Summerslam is for the WCW Title. Think of someone that’s very over. Rock is more over. Ross says that the people at home are on their feet. Has anyone ever jumped up for an entrance? Not that I can think of. This is Rock’s first PPV match since Mania as he left to film Scorpion King. Therefore, if you can’t guess the ending of this show, you’re an idiot.

It’s mainly a brawl to start as neither guy has a real advantage for that long. I like matches like that. It makes you think that anything can happen and it can give you a possible hint of what I say makes a match great: not knowing who is going to win. There’s little fun in a squash match, as it’s obvious who is going to win. A good match is typically one where you’re unsure who will win. Now there are obvious exceptions, but for the most part you’ll find that the lack of a clear winner is the better case.

Oh yeah Shane is outside helping Booker about every 8 seconds as can be expected. However, the APA run out and take him out with a sick clothesline from JBL by the future waste of air Bradshaw. There’s really not much to say about the match as it’s pretty standard for the most part. Booker is down after an elbow drop but Shane has to make the save since Booker fell asleep waiting on Rock to finish with all of the theatrics. This gets Shane another head kicking.

This is a pretty solid match here though as it’s back and forth with Booker of course being in control most of the match. They fight even more but Booker spins up as Mark Madden continues to validate his existence. If you don’t believe he has a reason to exist, read his column.

I’m sure you’ll be amazed by all the things that he takes credit for, but he’d hate this show. Page had a role in it. What’s his deal with Page anyway? Whatever, it’s not like I’d be able to listen to his explanation. Anyway, as Booker spins up, Rock nips up and lands the Rock Bottom (NOT URANAGE DANG IT!) for the pin, the title, and Heyman’s heart attack. He poses with the belt to end the show.

Rating: B+. This was a fun match and was great to send the folks home happy. Booker wasn’t going to win and everyone knew it, but they did the best they could with it and it turned out pretty well. It was Rock’s big return and it put the spotlight on him very well. It was definitely good but not great.

Overall Rating: B+. Would have been better to have Austin/Angle go on last, but this certainly worked very well. Either way, we have a good show here with a solid balance of gimmick and regular matches and a fun match to end the show. Austin and Angle is an underrated match, but their match next month was better.

However, I think this show is lacking the one huge match that steals the show which is keeping it from being an all time classic. Definitely recommended though as this is a very good, but not great, show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 19, 2001
Location: Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well the Invasion is over and I don’t think anyone is really complaining that it’s done. Tonight we basically hit a big reset button tonight as things get back to “normal” for the first time in months tonight. I have no idea what to expect with this show. Well ok I do as I remember watching it and the big surprise on it but it makes for a better intro if I say that. Let’s get to it.

We open with Foley and Vince on a plane earlier today. Foley says he knows that he’s getting fired, but Vince only says Have a Nice Day. That’s the last we would see of Mick Foley in the WWF/E for over a year and a half.

Here’s Vince to open the show and you know he’s happy after last night. He thanks Angle for ending the Alliance and says that ECW is dead. Until there was an opening due to high DVD sales of course. The WCW Title is now the World Championship, which is different from the WWF Championship because…..because this is called the World Championship. Also tonight, someone is going to become the inaugural member of Vince’s special club. That person gets to keep their job (along with the champions as they get to keep their jobs too).

That brings Vince to the leader of the Alliance. As soon as Austin arrives here tonight, Vince’s plans go into effect. There’s one more change: we have an empty seat on commentary. Vince brings out Paul Heyman who sits on the commentary desk, but Vince never said that Paul was the new commentator. Vince calls him into the ring and Heyman immediately starts sucking up.

McMahon says he’s a first amendment guy (Heyman: “And one of the best ever sir!”) and using his first amendment, he says that Heyman is fired. Heyman wants to fight but as the jacket comes off, Heyman runs. Heyman walks on the floor and then lunges at JR, who beats the tar out of him. Security pulls Heyman off and takes him out. Vince calls out Lawler to be JR’s partner again. That just feels right.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending after winning the title last night in a Six Pack Challenge. Last night Trish was seen coming out of the Hardys’ locker room when only Matt was in there so there’s some heat here. Trish is AWFUL at this point so don’t expect any kind of a good match here. Fifteen seconds in and they HORRIBLY botch a wristlock.

Spear gets two for Lita as does a sunset flip. Trish sends her into the middle rope for two before hitting an awkward slam. Lita hits a bad flapjack for another near fall before Trish kicks her in the chest to take over. An elbow misses for Stratus but she manages to shove Lita off the top to the floor. Trish kicks Lita into Matt so Matt throws Lita back in. Trish backslides her to retain. This was HORRIBLE.

Vince goes to see the Dudleys, Stacy, Test, Van Dam and Christian. These are the people who aren’t fired for being either champions, immune, or gorgeous. Vince punishes Van Dam for not accepting his offer to join the WWF a few months ago by making him face the Dudleys in a handicap tables match. The three of them and Stacy leave so Christian can suck up to Vinny a bit. That gets him nowhere.

Rob Van Dam vs. Dudley Boys

Jerry has to make up his flirting jokes about Stacy so he fires off a bunch to start. Van Dam has to fight them both off at once and makes D-Von clothesline Bubba by mistake. Rolling Thunder hits D-Von but Rob walks into a Bubba Bomb. Rob comes back by spearing Bubba into the corner, only to walk into a neckbreaker out of said corner from D-Von. Here are a pair of tables, one on the mat and one in the corner. Rob grabs a rope to avoid 3D and sends D-Von to the floor.

A kick takes Bubba down and a Van Daminator takes him down even more. D-Von comes back in and takes some kicks of his own, sending him onto a table. Van Dam goes for what would have been the longest Five Star ever, but he leaves it short (no shock) and breaks the table WITH HIS FACE. FREAKING OW MAN!!! The Dudleys pick up the dead body that used to be RVD and 3D him onto the table, as it doesn’t break. The second 3D wins it and I think Van Dam needs a doctor.

Rating: C. Van Dam has earned this rating on his own. It’s not that the Dudleys didn’t do anything, but those landings with Van Dam were SCARY, especially the Frog Splash. There was no point to this, but the handicap tables match was the signature “punishment” match in 2001. Van Dam should have gotten a bigger push in 2001.

Angle is here and he’s still smug.

Linda McMahon is at WWF New York, likely looking for Connecticut registered voters.

Angle goes in to see Rock and wants his thank you for the company still being in business. Rock isn’t amused and wants to know when Angle was planning on letting the WWF know when he was a mole. Angle spent a month blasting WWF guys with chairs but Angle says it was worth it. Rock agrees and says Angle should try to beat him up now. Angle says he’ll do it for the title. Rock will never trust either Angle or Vince again. I don’t think Rock accepted the challenge for the title match but maybe that was implied.

 

Shane and Stephanie arrive in a rental car. Stephanie could always make a living if she wore those dresses on the street.

 

Vince is in the ring again and apparently the acceptance of the match was implied as Vince says it’s happening. Austin isn’t here yet so let’s deal with his kids. Here they are and Vince says he likes hearing Stephanie called a w****. Shane tells Vince that he won and that he (Shane) lost to the better man. Shane leaves and that’s that.

 

Stephanie plays the daddy’s little girl card, calling herself young and naive. She blames Shane for everything that happened, including Linda getting slapped. It was Shane that made Stephanie slap Linda and tell Vince that she wanted him to die. She says she’s sorry and tries to cry. Vince calls for security and Stephanie is literally dragged away. Vince starts the goodbye song.

Jericho comes in to see Vince (notice his name coming up a lot tonight?) and Vince yells at him for putting the WWF in jeopardy last night by attacking Rock. Jericho says that it was due to his ego which Vince isn’t happy with. Vince doesn’t like big egos, but he loves MASSIVE egos. Oh and Jericho gets Kane tonight.

Mr. T. is here.

World Title: The Rock vs. Kurt Angle

Rock is defending. Kurt gets in some early right hands to take over and Rock gets stomped. Rock comes back with punches of his own but he gets sent to the floor very quickly. Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two for Kurt. There’s the ankle lock but Rock quickly breaks it. The countering doesn’t last long as he walks into a belly to belly to take him down again. Another belly to belly gets two and Kurt pounds away.

They’re clearly just going through the motions here but since tonight is pretty much resetting everything, it’s pretty much ok as the matches are just there to fill time until they figure out what they’re doing next. Angle goes up but gets crotched and Rock hits a belly to back superplex. Kurt clotheslines him down but Rock nips up and makes his comeback. Spinebuster looks to set up the Rock Bottom but Kurt counters into the Slam for no cover. Ankle lock is countered into a rollup for Rock to retain.

Rating: D+. Like I said they were going through the motions here and it didn’t do anything at all. They basically took the night off here and that’s ok. Angle threw in some suplexes to make it look like he was trying but they were clearly in very low gear. Angle would do nothing of note until he went to Smackdown in the Brand Split while Rock kept being Rock.

Angle attacks Rock post match and Jericho comes out to help him. Both use their submissions on Rock.

Here’s Vince for the 12^th time tonight for the Club stuff. The first inductee: William Regal. Regal offers to be a gopher for Vince but Vince says he meant the title of this club literally. Vince has Regal get on his knee and Vince takes his pants down. We’re watching one of Vince’s fantasies aren’t we? Vince takes his underwear down too and makes it dance. Oh wait Regal has to use chapstick first. Vince bends over a bit and Regal kisses it. Someone send Linda’s Senate opponent this clip NOW. The election will be over.

Regal gets laughed at by people like Taz, who still has a job because….someone help me out here. Regal slugs him.

Chris Jericho vs. Kane

Kane speeds things up to start and sends him into the corner. Jericho sends him into the rope and slingshots Kane’s throat into the bottom rope to take over. A swinging neckbreaker misses for the most part but we’ll count it anyway. Jericho grabs a chair which is quickly knocked out of his hand. Kane goes up and jumps into the chair for the DQ. This was nothing.

Jericho beats on Kane and puts him in the “Walls” (they couldn’t quite get it right either time they tried) and no one makes the save. Wasn’t Undertaker the one preaching about being a unit?

Creed Desire video.

Angle yells at Edge but Edge says he saved his own job by winning the IC Title last night. Edge accuses Angle of playing both sides last night. Their feud wouldn’t start for about six months if my memory is right.

William Regal vs. Taz

Taz punches, Tazmission is broken up, Regal Stretch ends this in less than a minute. Taz has a job because of being a commentator. Ok then. The arena is all smoky from Taz’s pyro.

Kurt is melancholy over not being thanked for saving the company, so Vince offers him the WWF Title.

Vince and Angle go to the ring and Vince tells the fans to thank Kurt for what he did last night. Vince says Austin can stay wherever he is because we need a dignified champion. This is a very fast heel turn by Vince who was the nicest guy in the world all night so far. Vince says that as the sole owner of the WWF, he’s going to….be interrupted by some very familiar music.

RIC FLAIR walks out (notice the location of the show) and the place goes bonkers. Vince calls Flair a has been but Flair is very happy. He says he bet on a winner last night when he bet on the WWF. Flair says Angle should win the world title in the ring like he’s capable of doing.

Vince keeps trying to get Flair out but Flair says that this morning when Shane and Stephanie sold their stock in the company (what stock? They had bought WCW and ECW, which in storylines were different companies. What stock would they still have in the WWF? I guess the idea is that Flair bought it in June, but he flat out says he bought it “this morning”. Eh it’s WWF logic so we’ll go with it) this morning, Flair bought it, so now he and McMahon are partners. The look on Vince’s face is GREAT.

Cue Austin who beats the tar out of Angle and runs him off. Flair hands Austin the title as Austin is a good guy again. A beer bash ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. The only good stuff to come out of this was in the last ten minutes, but it raises A TON of questions. First and foremost, WHY DIDN’T THEY BRING FLAIR IN SIX MONTHS AGO??? A Flair owned WCW and a Heyman owned ECW (what a strange business partnership that would have been) vs. the Vince owned WWF would have been a very interesting story, but instead that whole thing is gone, it appears to be Austin vs. Vince again, and Rock vs. Jericho is going to light things on fire for awhile. That’s one heck of a reset.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 12, 2001
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

It’s the final Raw of the Alliance Era and I bet they’ll talk about the Winner Takes All match this Sunday. The fact that this is ending in less than six months has never ceased to blow my mind. There’s no reason for things to have wrapped up that fast, but then again I’m not Vince McMahon so what do I know about how to run a story that could have drawn billions and run for years? Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Smackdown with Taz saying that he doesn’t trust Austin anymore, earning himself a beating. The Alliance walked out on Austin. Angle told Austin to shove his hat and Austin Stunned him as well.

Here’s Angle to open the show. He talks about how there was a team that had a chance to win it all, but infighting broke that down and now they’re losers. They would be the Red Sox from this season of course. Angle wants Austin here right now, but instead he gets Edge. Edge calls Angle a coward and wants a US Title match RIGHT NOW.

US Title: Edge vs. Kurt Angle

So not only can all three McMahons and both Commissioners make matches, but wrestlers can too. Sure why not. Edge immediately dropkicks him down but Angle takes him to the mat. Edge speeds things up again and takes Kurt down before doing Kurt’s signature pose. They go to the mat again and Edge grabs the arm to control. The half nelson bulldog that edge stopped doing when he got to be a bigger star gets two.

Angle grabs a belly to belly to send Edge up and over to the floor and the challenger is in trouble. Back in that only gets two but Edge is reeling. Edge comes back with a quick flapjack but Angle rolls him down to the ground and it’s off to a chinlock. Edge tries to go up but he jumps into a belly to belly suplex. The moonsault misses and both guys are down.

Edge makes his comeback and the Edgecution and Angle Slam are both countered. Edge-O-Matic gets two and a victory roll gets the same for the challenger. Angle Slam hits and there’s the ankle lock but here’s Kane. Or rather just his entrance for a distraction so Edge can spear Angle down for the pin and the title in a major upset.

Rating: C-. As good as these guys would get over the next year or so, this really didn’t click for the most part. Edge wasn’t ready to beat Angle here so the cheating finish helps, but it still wasn’t much to go on. They were getting there though and their feud in 2002 basically brought Edge up to a new level.

Post match here’s Kane to beat up Kurt. Kane puts him in the ankle lock until some Alliance jobbers come in to get beaten up instead.

Taz has challenged Austin to a non-title match tonight because he’s all ragey.

WWF Tag Titles: Hardy Boys vs. Booker T/Test

The Hardys slide in but get jumped immediately. A suplex puts Jeff down and gets two for Booker. It’s quickly off to Test but Jeff pounds him back. A gutwrench powerbomb stops the comeback but Test’s big boot misses. The not hot tag brings in Matt who cleans house, hitting the middle rope legdrop on Booker for two. There’s the Twist/Swanton to Jeff but Test kicks Jeff’s head off. Everything breaks down and Lita hits the rana on Booker so Jeff can roll him up for the titles.

Rating: D+. YAY the Hardys are champions again! This matters…..why? No really why does this matter? Everything ends on Sunday so this is like the proverbial changing deck chairs on the Titanic. Who cares if the Hardys get another tag title run or if Edge is US Champion? There was nothing here either as it was barely long enough to grade.

Chavo Guerrero and Hugh Morrus come to Vince and ask for jobs if the Alliance loses. Why would I care if they have jobs or not?

Steve Austin vs. Taz

Austin is in jean shorts and a sweatshirt. Taz jumps him as he comes in and pounds on Austin in the corner. A low blow breaks up the Tazmission and the Stunner gets the pin. This didn’t even last 45 seconds.

Shane comes out and tells Austin to get off Taz. The Alliance is waiting in the back for a speech from Austin apparently.

The Desire video is about Undertaker. It still sounds like a perfume commercial.

Stephanie addresses the Alliance and I’m liking the leather jacket on her. She fires Morrus and Guerrero and Austin comes in. He yells at Angle but Shane yells at Austin, saying Austin needs to worry about The Rock. Booker gets yelled at for no apparent reason and this turns into another “we need to come together” pep talk. Then Shane leaves and it turns into an argument.

WCW Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Albert

Scotty gets jumped but Albert (currently Tensai) in a stupid hat makes the save. Stacy gets in for no apparent reason and hits on Scotty but Albert rips her skirt down. That would be more valuable than all of his current WWE run combined. They load up the Worm but the Dudleys pull Stacy out and pull her out and leave. No match I guess.

Jericho complains to Vince about how Rock is too obsessed with the People. Vince tells Jericho to get over it because the match on Sunday is more important.

Regal is warming up when Christian comes in. They have some tea and Regal casually tells him he’s facing Big Show tonight. Christian panics and Regal whispers something to him which calms Christian down.

Hardcore Title: Undertaker vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is defending and he fires off strikes in the corner to start. Taker comes back with right hands in the corner as well but Van Dam clotheslines him to the floor. Van Dam dives at Taker but gets caught and rammed into the post. They go up to the stage and Taker misses a boot so that his leg gets caught in part of the set. Van Dam climbs up said set and dives off with a cross body for a very delayed two.

Rob knocks Taker over to the edge of the stage but Taker knocks him back for the sake of avoiding death. Taker pounds away and slams Van Dam into the set again. The Last Ride is loaded up but Booker runs out to break it up. Booker and Van Dam pound Taker down and they head back inside. Taker fights back but Booker takes him down again. Booker goes up but gets crotched and superplexed. Van Dam comes in out of nowhere and hits the Five Star while Taker is down to retain.

Rating: D. This show is AWFUL. The matches have no thought or effort into them at all and it’s sucking the little life they had left out of the building. Weren’t Booker and Van Dam having issues recently? Well apparently they patched things up off camera because they’re fine now. Nothing to see here and it’s very clear that no one cared at all.

Rock comes in to see Vince and Vince tries to make peace with Rock and Jericho. Rock wants nothing to do with a “moose hunting Twisted Sister wannabe.” Somehow this took almost five minutes.

Here’s Mick Foley for a promo I remember being very sad to see back in the day. Foley says that he’s out of a job no matter what happens on Sunday because about three days after he became Commissioner, Vince came back and made him worthless again. Foley has a lot of things he wants to do with the rest of his life and answering to Vince isn’t one of them. If the WWF wins, Vince can take his job but he can’t take his pride.

Foley goes on a rant and a half about how the title he has in his closet (the WWF Title he won on January 4, 1999) means nothing anymore because EVERYONE has a title anymore and none of them mean anything at all. With the power he has for a little while longer, he’s going to get rid of some titles. Before he tells us how, he goes on another rant about how at Raw and Smackdown last week, he was told he wasn’t needed. I mean, why put Mick Foley on TV in Long Island? “Maybe I’m not needed on the program, but the program sure needs something and more titles isn’t it”.

On Sunday it’s Edge vs. Test in a US/IC unification match (Foley gets the respective titles wrong but that kind of reinforces his point. Neither guy had held their belts for even a month so does it matter?) and the Hardys vs. the Dudleys in a cage to unify the tag belts (for the second time in three months of course). That brings him to the Light Heavyweight and Cruiserweight Titles. “Well X-Pac is MIA. No one knows where he is and no one really cares”. Since Pac doesn’t exist anymore, Regal will face Tajiri instead and that’s that.

I want to talk about this promo for a minute. First and foremost, he’s absolutely right about almost everything he said. At this point, there were 10 championships in the company, and that’s counting the tag titles as one title instead of two. Think that that. On top of that, this was Mick Foley, one of the top stars the company has ever had and one of the nicest guys in the history of wrestling, just erupting on national TV because of how awful things had gotten. This was just over seven months after the best show in wrestling history and it’s fallen this far. Let that sink in for a minute.

Christian vs. Big Show

Non-title of course because Big Show can’t be bothered trying to win the European Title. Show shoves him down to start and throws on a bearhug. Christian is knocked to the floor and DDP comes out. That goes absolutely nowhere as he can’t even get in the ring. Christian brings in a chair but Show hits it into his face for the pin at 1:27.

This is EXACTLY what Foley is complaining about: a champion just got destroyed in less than 90 seconds and why? Christian is defending his title on Sunday but do you think his opponent was even mentioned? Big Show is in the main event of the PPV but he’s here squashing Christian in short order? Why? Does this make him look like a threat in the main event? He’s Big Show, a former world champion and a guy that has main evented Wrestlemania.

Why should Christian need to get crushed like this for the sake of Big Show? There are a dozen guys in the Alliance that you could do this to who don’t have belts, but we just HAD to have Christian get beaten up right? At the end of the day, I doubt very seriously that the WWF could have answered that back then, or they would say it doesn’t matter, which is a big part of the problem.

Anyway the Dudleys come out and break a table over Show’s head before the APA shows up for the save. Not the Hardys, as in the team that the Dudleys are facing on Sunday, but the APA, a team that is in a yet to be mentioned on this show battle royal for immunity from being fired. Little things like that are the way you can tell no one is paying attention or thinking at all.

No one is at WWF New York.

Rock is walking in the back and goes into a room. That’s it. Seriously, that’s all they showed here.

Edge was at a Rob Zombie concert in New Mexico. Riveting indeed. Edge just started using Rob Zombie as his entrance music so we see Zombie perform the FULL SONG. I like the song but if I wanted to watch a music video, I’d watch a music video.

Rock is in his locker room when Jericho comes in. Jericho complains about what Rock called him earlier and Rock complains about Jericho complaining about the people. This is pretty much the ONLY thing that was interesting on Raw at this point. Taker comes in to yell at them and complains about getting double teamed while no one came to help him. I guess when Kane and Big Show, as in the other two members of Team WWF, were getting double teamed earlier, Taker was busy having a meatball sandwich and watching Days of Our Lives, because he certainly didn’t help them out.

Kane comes in and gets yelled at too. Taker yells at the team for not being unified. Big Show is never mentioned at all during this speech. Rock and Jericho, two of the biggest mouths ever, have nothing to say to this. Oh wait Rock says they’re a team and what Taker says is clear. The tall guys leave and Jericho wishes Rock luck. Rock says he’ll be waiting for Jericho.

WCW World Title: The Rock vs. William Regal

Rock didn’t even bother changing into trunks for this. Regal jumps Rock to start and they head to the floor for a bit. Back inside and Regal hits the knee trembler for two. Off to a fast chinlock but Rock comes back with a belly to belly suplex and a DDT for two. They head outside again but Tajiri comes out to Mist Regal. You know, because Rock can’t beat Regal on his own. Spinebuster and Sharpshooter get the win for Rock. This was nothing AGAIN.

Rock calls out Austin and here’s the bald one after a break. They stare each other down and Rock says they go back to Wrestlemania. Rock remembers that night and the next night as well as earlier when Austin says he can beat Rock. Rock hopes Austin jumps to the WWF so Rock can beat Austin up in the WWF for the WWF Title. He says FINALLY but Austin takes the mic out of his hand. Now Austin wants to say FINALLY but Rock takes the mic. Rock tries to say it again but Austin pulls the mic away again. He makes fun of the people chanting Rocky and says FINALLY, but Rock pulls the mic away again. Now Rock makes fun of WHAT. It’s so clear they have NO IDEA how to fill in this time so they’re just messing around.

Austin WHAT’S the crowd for a bit and the fans applaud. Austin says that’s the bottom line but Rock steals the mic before Austin can finish. Rock says what (complete with a stutter that sounds like WOO WOO WOO beforehand) but Austin takes the mic away for about the 9 millionth time. Rock says Austin’s breath smells like strudel. Austin says he (as in Austin) has a beer belly and it’s fuel for fighting but he’s not going to do that right now. Austin says Rock has hurt his feelings and it looks like they’re finally about to fight but instead Austin wants to sing. Yes I said SING.

Austin talks about a rock band called Boston but he doesn’t remember any of their songs right now. Instead he’s going to sing Delta Dawn (complete with a shout out to a fan in Texas with a busted up leg. Ok then) and he does in fact sing the song. Rock counters with The Gambler by Kenny Rogers and we’ve officially entered the point where I have no idea what to think anymore. Rock: “That make you feel better?” Austin: “I feel like crap.” And now, TIME FOR A DUET!

They sing Margaritaville as I’m trying to remember these two singing in front of nearly 68,000 people in Houston. Oh scratch that as that was a thirty minute blood bath in the classic main event of the greatest show of all time. Instead they’re here talking about a lost shaker of salt. Aren’t they supposed to be fighting for their jobs on Sunday? Rock says he’ll never forget and Rock Bottoms Austin. Angle comes in and the big brawl between the teams ends the show. Jericho makes the save with a chair and stands behind Rock but he doesn’t swing it.

Overall Rating: F. I am in awe of what I just spent 90 minutes watching. The last fifteen minutes of this show was a singing contest between two of the three biggest stars in wrestling history. You know, as in the guys that have had the only main event trilogy at Wrestlemania ever. Now don’t get me wrong: the segment was kind of entertaining, but when it goes on for FIFTEEN MINUTES at the end of a dreadful show, it’s only going to be so good. These guys are supposed to hate each other and they look like they’re at a comedy club. Horrible show with a freaking bizarre ending.

Here’s Survivor Series if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/10/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2001-the-end-of-the-alliance-thank-goodness/

Also here is an article I wrote about the Invasion and my thoughts on why it didn’t work and what I would have changed:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/01/28/i-want-to-talk-a-little-bit-about-the-invasion/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Backlash 2001
Date: April 29, 2001
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 15,592
Commentators: Paul Heyman, Jim Ross

 

I’m not doing Backlash just yet but I’m coming up on this one in the Raw 2001 reviews so I figured I better knock it out so I don’t have to do it later. There are two big matches here as we have Benoit vs. Angle in an Ultimate Submission match (iron man match, submissions only) and HHH/Austin vs. Kane/Taker in a match where are the titles are on the line. Let’s get to it.

 

Opening video talks about how he who has the gold has the power. Fitting start considering the main event has all the titles in it which is rather stupid indeed but whatever.

 

Dudley Boys vs. X-Factor

 

Six man tag here with all three Dudleyz vs. X-Pac, Credible and Albert. Dang they go from one of the most famous tag matches ever to a six man opening a PPV four weeks later. Brawl to start with the Dudleys clearing the ring. They launch Spike onto Pac and Credible on the floor which is always fun. Spike and Credible start us off with Spike getting a crucifix for two.

 

Off to Albert who counters the Dudley Dog to take over. Back to Justin and the white socks of fear. Powerbomb out of the corner gets two as this crowd is red hot. Double tags bring in D-Von and Pac and Albert cheats, allowing Pac to kick D-Von’s head off to take over again. X-Factor minus Pac puts D-Von’s balls against the post as this is a rather fast paced match.

 

Pac gets two off a legdrop and we hit the chinlock. D-Von tries a comeback but walks into a Boss Man Slam to keep him down. Off to Albert who hits a pretty sweet delayed butterfly suplex for two. After a double clothesline it’s hot tag Bubba who cleans house on all three guys. What’s Up to Justin and it’s table time. Albert kills D-Von though and the distraction allows Credible and Pac to hit a double superkick on Bubba for the pin.

 

Rating: B-. Pretty solid opener here with some fast paced stuff. They got the crowd into the show (ok so this is Chicago so it’s not like it was that hard) and the ending worked. Nothing wrong with having heels win the opener as the match was good enough to get the fans over it. Also the lack of feud prevents the whole emotional damage.

 

X-Factor tries to put Bubba through a table but due to the laws of wrestling, Pac goes through it instead.

 

The Duchess of Queensbury, a guy in drag, is here for the match later with Regal and Jericho. This was one of those weird ideas that isn’t talked about after this show. Regal in a collared shirt and trunks is a weird looks.

 

Angle says he’s confident and that’s fine.

 

We get a clip of Jerry Lynn winning the Light Heavyweight Title on Heat with a handful of tights which was rather surprising.

 

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Rhyno

 

Rhyno is champion. This is considered one of the best hardcore matches ever so let’s see if it lives up to its hype. Rhyno tries a Gore immediately but Raven drop toeholds him into the stop sign. Trashcan shot gets two. Rhyno takes over with a running shoulder in the corner and the beating begins. Raven gets a trashcan up to block a running charge but it hurts him even more. He falls out to the floor and gets covered for two.

 

Rhyno sets up the steps and puts Raven in a chair. He tries a run up the stairs to set up a dive, only to crush the chair. Raven uses the same setup but gets a clothesline off the steps for two. Back inside for half a second as Rhyno takes over again. Raven gets his head taken off by a trashcan lid and a sign shot gets two. Back into the ring and Rhyno hits him with a shopping cart. Whatever works I guess.

 

Drop toehold puts Rhyno into the cart and down he goes. A bunch of sign shots take Rhyno down and a LOUD one does it again. Bulldog out of the corner gets two. Rhyno picks up the shopping cart but Raven gets a trashcan shot in to have the cart fall on Rhyno for two. Cart goes into Rhyno’s ribs but Rhyno gets a sign shot in to get two. Momentum shifts back and forth a lot in this match. Rhyno tries the Gore into the shopping cart but misses and Rhyno is stuck inside the cart. We go to a replay of it and during that the Gore ends Raven. That fits the move as the move is supposed to come out of nowhere, which it did there.

 

Rating: B. Well they were right, this was good. The key thing here is it never got silly. This was more about violence than the weapons if that makes sense. Most of the time there would be comedy spots in something like this but here, it was all about the violence and the brutality out there, making for a far better and more entertaining match.

 

We get a clip from Smackdown where Shane read a book called Shane and the Beanstalk to Big Show. Funny stuff here. The idea of the feud is that Vince is mad at Shane for being all rebellious and for destroying him at Mania and buying WCW, so he sent Show out to kill him. That one piece swimsuit was deadly indeed. The story is actually kind of funny. It’s last man standing by the way.

 

Shane is about to talk but Stephanie comes up and says he should apologize to Vince. Stephanie, you look great, but your acting is uh….bad.

 

Austin gets here.

 

Coach tries to find out the rules of the Duchess of Queensbury match. The Duchess doesn’t know who Coach is. Regal breaks it up and yells at Coach.

 

We recap Regal vs. Jericho with the exact same video from Mania. Basically Regal is commissioner and Jericho said he was boring so Regal tormented him. This is the second match and no one knows the rules of this match but Regal. Gee, think there’s a swerve coming?

 

William Regal vs. Chris Jericho

 

Either Regal got taped up in record time or that Duchess thing was taped earlier. This is a Duchess of Queensbury Rules match. He brings out the Duchess after some donkey-hole chants. The Duchess has the whole old school British stereotype stuff on. There’s even a throne there for her. Jericho makes fun of Regal pre-match. There’s the bell and there’s still no idea what the rules are. Technical stuff to start as Jericho speeds things up. Out to the floor with Regal being besmirched a lot.

 

Back into the ring and the missile dropkick misses, giving Regal the advantage. Off to the chinlock which doesn’t last long. Regal goes up but Jericho gets a dropkick to slow him down and a rana to bring him back down. Lionsault hits and the bell rings before the count even begins. That’s the time limit for round one so the match has a break. Regal immediately grabs a rollup for two.

 

Jericho misses a dropkick and Regal hits a slingshot to send him into the top rope throat first. The Englishman hits a German to the Canadian as the Oklahoman complains. Regal Stretch goes on but Jericho grabs the rope. Jericho rolls through a rollup into the Walls and Regal taps immediately. And if you really believe that’s the ending, you have no business reading this. You can’t win by submission apparently, which clearly explains why Regal had the hold on a few moments earlier.

 

Jericho goes after the Duchess and Regal pops him with her scepter. It’s No DQ of course though, because that’s how the Duchess rolls. That only gets two back in the ring as Regal takes over again. Butterfly suplex gets two. Enziguri takes down Regal and Jericho stomps a mudhole in the corner. Jericho sets for the Walls but kicks Regal in the balls instead. Regal heads to the floor and a baseball slide sends Regal’s face into the Duchess’ royal vagina. The Duchess goes into the Walls and Regal pops him with a chair three times to end it.

 

Rating: D+. Pretty weak here as the ending was about as obvious as you could ask for. Also, this doesn’t really mean anything given that Jericho isn’t champion anymore. Granted the Alliance was coming soon so all of this would be forgotten. Not much going on here but it wasn’t terrible, just stupid.

 

Vince tells Show to hurt Shane.

 

We recap Angle vs. Benoit. Do you really need an explanation here? It’s an Ultimate Submission match with Benoit and Angle. There’s your explanation.

 

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

 

30 minute time limit, most submissions win. Angle says Chicago is full of fat sweaty pigs and needs winners. He makes fun of the city which is kind of funny. There’s a thirty second rest period between falls. After some feeling out stuff to start, Angle takes it to the mat and Benoit is all cool with that. Ankle lock doesn’t work so Kurt hits the floor to think for a bit.

 

This is going to be a long one as the clock is on the screen the entire time. Back in the ring and Angle takes Benoit down which gets him nowhere. Back to the mat again and this time to the floor. Benoit gets the Crossface out there and Angle taps but they’re outside so it doesn’t count. Five minutes in and no falls yet. Angle tries to bring in a chair as we stall a bit. With half an hour I can understand that though.

 

Back in and Angle is holding his shoulder a lot. And never mind as he was faking since he charges straight in and grabs the ankle lock for the quick tap. You could argue Benoit tapped early to prevent further damage but it still looks kind of weak by Benoit. Angle works on the ankle/knee but charges into a Crossface attempt. That doesn’t work so Benoit shifts to a cross armbreaker to tie us up.

 

Benoit rams Angle’s shoulder into the post and there’s the armbreaker again but Kurt leans forward to avoid a lot of the pressure before making the rope. Shoulder breaker by Benoit and he goes after Kurt, only to take out the referee at the ten minute mark. Angle gets a chair shot to the head and the ankle lock makes it 2-1. Angle jumps him during the rest period and you can’t really DQ him I guess.

 

Angle puts on a Crossface seconds later to make it 3-1. Maybe 10 seconds between the end of the rest period and the tap. Kurt hammers him some more and rams his face into the announce table. Benoit backdrops Angle to the floor but doesn’t take the time to breathe. Kurt’s shoulder goes into the post but Benoit’s everything goes into the steps. Ankle lock goes on but it’s still on the floor, meaning Benoit tapping doesn’t mean anything.

 

We go back in with fifteen minutes left and a 3-1 lead for Kurt. Benoit avoids a cross armbreaker by Kurt which wastes some time. Off to an abdominal stretch which Benoit counters into another cross armbreaker attempt but he can’t get the tap. Out of almost nowhere Benoit gets a Sharpshooter, only for Kurt to make the ropes again. A German is countered into a half Liontamer by Benoit (he used it before Jericho in WCW) for the tap to make it 3-2.

 

Kurt heads to the floor and it’s time to play defense. Benoit catches him pretty easily and sends him into the steps. Kurt tries to run again and the fans aren’t thrilled at all. With ten minutes to go Angle catches Benoit coming in and they slug it out a bit. Benoit can’t get back in for a bit and Kurt stomps him when he does. Angle hits a snap suplex back inside and keeps trying for the ankle lock.

 

Out to the floor again and they chop it out. Back in and Benoit gets a dragon screw but can’t hook the ankle. Benoit misses a dropkick and Angle locks in some freaky looking hold before going to a chinlock. Five minutes left as Benoit gets his arm up before a third drop. With four minutes left Benoit breaks the hold with a jawbreaker. And never mind as Kurt takes his head off with a clothesline.

 

Belly to belly by Kurt which is scary considering how long they’ve been out there. Another hits with three minutes left. Benoit manages to grab some Germans but gets reversed into an ankle lock which he reverses into an ankle lock of his own to tie it up at 3 with just over two minutes to go. The clock keeps running during the thirty second rest. Chop block by Benoit with 1:20 to go. Minute left and it’s German time again. Low blow by Kurt breaks that up but the ankle lock is broken quickly. Ankle lock goes on fill with 8 seconds left and we’re done. Benoit taps after the bell ends in a draw.

 

Just like in 96 though with Shawn and Bret, it’s time for some overtime, first submission wins it. If it continued though, why wouldn’t the tap just after the bell have ended it? Angle hammers him and the fans aren’t thrilled with him. They go to the mat and Angle grabs an abdominal stretch down there. There’s a Crossface out of nowhere and Angle taps for the ending. Like Benoit was losing in sudden death.

 

Rating: B. It was entertaining, but the main idea of Benoit vs. Angle is all about having them go back and forth with insane counters until one of them finally gets caught in something. That was taken away here and it brings the match down a lot. To be fair it’s still good but by comparison it’s definitely not as good.

 

Taker is mad at Kane but we can’t hear them. HHH and Stephanie are watching and say they’re coming up with excuses for tomorrow on Raw.

 

We recap Shane vs. Show which we’ve been over already so I’ll spare you from repeating it.

 

Big Show vs. Shane McMahon

 

Show hits the ropes a few times before Shane comes out. Shane comes out to a version of Here Comes The Money here. He has that stupid book with the fable in it with him also. Shane hides under the ring but pops out with a kendo stick to get in some solid shots. Big old clothesline takes him down though and we head back into the ring. Shane gets some solid chair shots and finally takes Show down.

 

Shane goes to the floor and gets a bag. He puts a surgical mask on and some gloves before grabbing a rag to put over Show’s face. This works for the most part and Show goes down to his knees. Now down to his stomach. The fans are completely behind Shane here. At about five Vince runs down and pops Shane with a chair. Show, ever the genius, pulls Shane up at about 8.

 

Final Cut puts Shane down again as we wait around more while the referee counts. That’s a large portion of most last man standing matches and it takes too much most of the time. Show picks him up again and drops him with a chokeslam. He picks Shane up again despite Shane being mostly dead. Torture Rack goes on but here’s Test to pound on Show. They had a thing on Smackdown so this works.

 

Show beats him down also and the big men go to the floor. Up towards the stage and Test gets in some weapon shots to slow him down a bit. Show beats on him some more and here comes Shane again. After some sign shots by Shane, Show finds a pipe from somewhere. Shane climbs the set to escape and Show goes after him. Test pulls him down and beats him up, allowing Shane to hit a HUGE dive, as in literally 25 feet or so to crush Show with an elbow. Test holds Shane up with a boom mic and we’re done. That spot was insane beyond belief.

 

Rating: C. You can only get on Shane so much for these, but the whole thing is basically Show beats on him, Shane is dead, Show picks him up, repeat. That took twelve minutes somehow. The big spot was cool but it didn’t really save the match. Also the replays showing that he totally missed didn’t help.

 

Vince is ticked off about Shane so Stephanie gives a badly scripted speech to chill him out. Vince declares HHH his only son.

 

Steve Blackman is at WWF New York and is impressed by the big dive. Grandmaster Sexay pops up to make me want to go on a shooting rampage.

 

European Title: Matt Hardy vs. Christian vs. Eddie Guerrero

 

Matt is champion, having beaten Eddie sometime between this show and Mania. Apparently it was three days ago. Good to know. Matt fights off a double team to start and that doesn’t last long at all. Matt is tossed to the floor so Christian jumps Eddie as a result. Powerslam gets two for the Canadian. Eddie snaps off a rana and pounds on Christian a bit more. Matt back in now and everyone is down.

 

Matt takes Christian down with a clothesline for two. Eddie is off somewhere, probably looking for a taco. Ah there he is and he pulls Matt to the floor, only for both of them to be taken down by a baseball slide by the Canadian. Matt gets a tornado DDT on the floor but is pulled back in by Eddie who hits a brainbuster for two. There goes Matt’s shirt and there go the teenage screams.

 

Christian saves Matt from taking a rana for some reason and Matt drops Christian onto Guerrero. Matt takes over and Christian accidentally takes out Eddie. Middle rope legdrop gets a big pop and a close two on Eddie. Edge pops up out of nowhere to spear Matt in the aisle and toss him back in for two for Eddie. Edge gets in but here’s Jeff to cancel him out. Unprettier to Eddie but Jeff mostly misses a Swanton to rbeak that up. Twist of Fate ends Christian and Matt retains.

 

Rating: C. Just kind of there really but this could have been on Raw. That being said, it was pretty good for a buffer match between the big ones as only the main event is left. Not a horrible match at all but at the same time it wasn’t all that great. Just kind of there which isn’t something you want on a PPV. I’ve seen worse though.

 

Ad for WWF New York.

 

We recap the main event. Basically HHH and Austin are the monster heel team with Vince in their corner and they destroyed the Hardys for fun. Taker and Kane are their first real challengers and are tag champions. HHH is IC Champion and it’s one of those matches where all the titles are on the line and whoever gets whatever fall gets whatever title.

 

WWF World Title/Intercontinental Title/Tag Titles: HHH/Steve Austin vs. Undertaker/Kane

 

Kane has a bad elbow/arm here so that’ll likely play into the ending. Oh and if HHH wins he’s a Grand Slam Champion. The heels stall a lot and Austin can’t even throw his vest into the ring. There’s the bell and it’s time to go. Kane gets a shot into HHH’s head and we stall even more. HHH finally gets in alone and down he goes again. They’ve been on the floor about three minutes now.

 

Finally the tall dudes go out to the floor and the slugout begins. HHH goes into the announce table as Austin and Taker are actually in the ring now. They switch off with HHH and Kane in the ring now. No idea if anyone is legal yet. Kane chokes both guys but his arm is hurting. Ok so HHH and Kane are the official starters now. There’s the jumping knee and down goes the big fried freak.

 

HHH brings in Austin but Kane gets the tag and Austin tries to run. His reward is having a mudhole stomped into him. Taker destroys him for a bit and Austin offers a handshake. This is the guy that a month before was at war with Rock. Wow indeed. Taker reluctantly tags in Kane, which makes sense here. Back off to Taker and HHH and Old School hits. Old School to Austin also and Taker clears the ring.

 

The Two Man Power Trip tries to leave but Kane makes the stop. Back in the ring and HHH breaks up the Last Ride. Double mudhole is stomped into Taker in the corner and we head to the floor again. Austin vs. Taker now in the ring and make that HHH instead. The challengers (kind of) are tagging in and out rather well. Taker fights out of it and gets a DDT on HHH but won’t tag. Not can’t, but won’t.

 

Austin hits a Thesz Press but the middle finger elbow is caught in an attempted chokeslam. HHH makes the save but Taker gets a double clothesline to put all three guys down. Kane tags himself in and hammers on Austin. Another chokeslam is broken up by HHH and Kane avoids a Stunner. HHH finally wakes up and works on the arm. This is kind of a mess. Austin gets a chair shot to the arm and it’s an ARMBAR in the ring by the Game.

 

Kane’s face is pounded on a bit more but Kane reverses to pound on Austin a bit more. HHH makes another save as it keeps seeming like this is a handicap match rather than a regular tag. Top wristlock goes on which Kane fights out of again. HHH gets tossed to the floor where he’s able to break up a tag. Austin comes in sans tag and he and Kane botch something badly. It looked like it was supposed to be a clothesline but Austin didn’t go down or anything like that.

 

HHH tries to comes off the top but Kane gets a foot up but still can’t tag out. He picks up Kane’s leg and Kane looks like he’s setting for an enziguri but he just hops for awhile and HHH takes him down. Pedigree hits and HHH tags out for no apparent reason. During the confusion Taker comes in and chokeslams Austin. Stephanie distracts Hebner so he shoves her down and counts two on Austin.

 

Kane hits the enziguri this time which makes me think they blew the spot earlier. The referee goes down for a bit and doesn’t see the hot tag to Taker. Taker pummels them both and it’s a Last Ride to Taker but he’s not legal a minute after being tagged in. Low blow by Austin to Taker and a Stunner to Kane. Taker and Austin brawl into the crowd and HHH gets a tag title belt, only to get it kicked into his face. Chokeslam is loaded up but Stephanie comes in, only to get kicked in the face also. Vince runs in with a sledgehammer which HHH gets for a pair of shots to Kane, one in the head, for the tag titles.

 

Rating: D+. This was about half an hour long and the whole thing didn’t work for the most part. It was just a big mess with everything going all over the place and nothing of note going on other than the arm work. It was more about everyone doing random moves instead of a coherent match, which is rarely a good thing at all. Not a good main event.

 

Overall Rating: D+. Didn’t really do it for me here. Not really anything great at all on the whole card. There was some good stuff here but at the same time it didn’t work for the most part. The lack of titles other than at the end hurt it a lot as it usually does. The company fell down quickly after Mania and the Alliance only helped for a little bit.
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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 5, 2001
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

We’re two weeks away from Survivor Series and we have most of the teams set for the Winner Take All match. Angle jumped ship last week to further WWF-ize the Alliance roster. The WWF is in chaos right now and the main event tonight is Jericho vs. Rock for the WCW Title because the person that holds that title is really going to help the WWF in their war right? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Test and Booker T beating Jericho and Rock for the tag titles, taking away the only reason they had to not kill each other.

We actually hear about Rebellion, the British PPV, where Rock and Jericho got in yet ANOTHER fight.

Here’s Vince to open the show of course. He immediately makes Jericho vs. Rock for the WCW Title later tonight so we’re automatically off to a better start than most of his promos. He wants them to beat each other up once and for all so that they can concentrate on Survivor Series. On to more important things though, as Vince says that at Survivor Series, someone is going to jump to the WWF. Apparently it’s going to be Austin. Well they certainly took the swerve out of that swerve pretty quickly.

Cue Austin who tells Vince to shut up. He didn’t believe Vince when he started and then he heard the name Steve Austin. Austin said what and wondered who Vince thought he was. He doesn’t like Vince implying that he’s jumping ship back to the WWF. Earlier Vince said he had to be Vince McMahon so Austin says he has to be himself and Stuns Vince. Austin leaves and Vince is smiling a lot.

Back from a break and the Alliance glares at Austin who says he’s not turning his back on them.

Ivory vs. Lita

It has to be better than Stacy’s match last week. Another good pop for Lita too. Ivory jumps her during the posing and takes over quickly. Legdrop gets two and Ivory stomps away some more. Lita comes back with a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. Ivory sends her into the buckle and hits a bad bulldog for the same result. This is really dull so far. Flapjack gets two for Ivory. I think Lita starts her comeback with a headscissors and leg sweep for two. Lita hits perhaps the worst clothesline I’ve ever seen as Matt and Lance Storm come out. After they do nothing of note, Ivory hits an X-Factor for the pin.

Rating: D-. What in the world was the point of this? The girls were almost wrestling in slow motion and the crowd was DEAD. That clothesline was so bad that it made some of the ones I’ve seen NFL guys use that were better. Hardy and Storm didn’t add anything and the match was just bad. It’s probably the worst Lita match I’ve ever seen.

Shane comes in to see Austin and Austin doesn’t like having to defend himself against accusations. Shane thinks someone is jumping ship at the PPV and he thinks he knows who that is. Angle comes in and Shane looks at him, prompting Angle to say that he doesn’t think Austin will jump. Kurt asks Austin if he has his back against Undertaker tonight. Austin wants to know where the hat Austin gave him is. Steve doesn’t like it but he has Kurt’s back tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Test

Edge challenged Test last night on Heat for some reason. He jumps Test on the floor to start and they head back inside for a lot of punches from both guys. Edge tries to speed things up but walks into a tilt-a-whirl slam for two as Test takes over again. After a suplex Test chokes away with the boot in the corner but walks into a spear out of nowhere. Both guys are down and it’s Edge up first.

He hits the spinwheel kick but walks into an elbow to put him down. The big boot misses and the Edge-O-Matic gets two. Edge rolls through a powerbomb for two and hits a tornado DDT for the same. He goes up again but Test shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch the champion. Test cradles Edge and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The match was about as good as a five and a half minute match with practically no story (Test cost Edge a match last week apparently) was going to be. That’s beside the point though. At this point in WWF, there were three midcard titles (IC, US and Euro), two world titles, two tag titles, a hardcore title and two lightweight titles.

This change means nothing because Edge would just pick up the US Title a week later and unify the two midcard ones at the PPV. These title changes don’t mean anything as Edge had only held the belt 13 days so it’s not like this was the end of a long reign or something. At the end of the day, so what if Test is IC Champion? He would lose it in two weeks anyway. Oh and he’s a double champion now too.

Speaking of pointless title changes, Christian won the European Title from Bradshaw. Yeah he was European Champion for like a week. Christian defends against Hurricane tonight so here’s reporter Gregory Helms who wants to know how Christian can be considered the greatest European Champion ever when he hasn’t faced Hurricane. Helms says you might not like Hurricane when he’s angry.

Vince has an ice pack on his neck when Rock comes in. Rock wants to know what’s up with that (sorry, had Hurricane on my mind) Austin thing earlier. Vince should bring Austin back because Rock has been waiting.

European Title: Christian vs. Hurricane

So is Hurricane WWF now? Did I miss something? Christian wears a Diamondbacks jersey to rub in the World Series loss to the New York crowd. Apparently Christian won the title back on Smackdown in a dark match. See how crowded this company was around this point? Christian jumps him to start as the fans chant for the Yankees.

He pounds away and hooks an abdominal stretch but Hurricane arm drags out of it. Hurricane puts the cape on and hits the cross body for two. Christian throws him over the top but the challenger lands on his feet. Superkick gets two for Hurricane. Eye of the Hurricane is countered and the Unprettier ends this. Short and nothing.

Ad for the WWF on the Weakest Link, which was a quiz show back in the early 2000s.

Regal addresses the Alliance and says Austin won’t defect. Booker thinks RVD is going to defect so Regal makes a match between them later on.

Angle is getting ready when Stephanie comes up to him. She says she trusts him and they share a look. This would go nowhere.

US Title: Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle

Taker jumps him on the floor to start and drops some elbows for two. He takes him down in an attempt at an armbar but Angle gets to the ropes. Taker does the wristlock lift followed by a modified short arm scissors. Old School puts Angle down again but Kurt goes for the legs. He rams it into the apron a few times as Taker is being chopped down. The announcers are talking about Austin of course because the match is good, and that’s not something we can talk about.

Back in and a chop block puts Taker down. If I remember right this is around the time that Angle made Kane tap so the idea of Taker tapping isn’t that insane. Ankle lock goes on but Taker kicks away very quickly. A suplex gets two on Taker and it’s off to a front facelock. Taker is like screw this and picks Angle up for a chokeslam. He lifts the bad leg which helps a bit. Angle pops back up because the move didn’t have the same snap to it which is fine. Ankle lock goes on for a good while until Taker reverses into one of his own….and here’s Austin for the DQ.

Rating: B-. I was digging this one with Taker actually selling and the thinking being there with stuff like the lifting of the leg. The ending was about as obvious as you could get given what was said earlier, but at least the match was good up to that point. This is one of the better TV matches in a good while on this show.

Angry Angle says Austin is loyal to the Alliance (man there’s a lot of alliteration tonight). Cole suggests that what Austin just did is the same thing Angle would do to remove suspicion. Angle has to think about that one.

APA/Jacqueline vs. Dudley Boys/Stacy Keibler

This is a tables match. The Dudleys bring out the table with Stacy laying on it in a nice touch. Bradshaw and D-Von start us off because you have to tag in a match that only ends with people going through tables. The girls come in and after some cheating, Jackie gets stomped on. Everything breaks down and Bradshaw breaks up What’s Up on Farrooq before hitting a fallaway slam off the top to D-Von.

The APA brings in a table but Bubba breaks up Bradshaw’s superplex attempt on D-Von. Bubba’s powerbomb doesn’t work as Farrooq moves the table. Jackie hits Bubba low and D-Von takes the Clothesline from Bradshaw. Bubba sets up another table but has to stop to deal with Jackie. Farrooq hits the spinebuster to put Bubba through the table for the win.

Rating: D. What in the world did this match exist for? Was there a story to it that just wasn’t worth talking about? Wasn’t Bradshaw a singles champion last week at this time? Either way the match didn’t go anywhere because no one cared about it and the girls didn’t add anything either. This was pure, uninteresting filler and nothing more.

Rock says Jericho won the big one once, so let’s see you do it again tonight.

The new team of Billy and Chuck is at WWF New York.

Wrestlemania tickets went on sale this past weekend.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T

Regal is on commentary for some reason. Booker takes him down almost immediately but Van Dam gets a knockdown of his own. Spinwheel kick gets two for RVD, who is defending if that isn’t clear. Van Dam’s top rope kick puts Booker down and Rolling Thunder gets two. Tajiri comes out to beat up Regal but Booker goes out to make the save. Regal gets up and powerbombs Tajiri on the floor as Big Show comes in to clean house. The referee rings the bell and throws out the HARDCORE match. See why this whole period is considered such a mess?

Jericho says he was born on Long Island which doesn’t get much of a reaction at all. He’ll win tonight.

Desire video.

WCW World Title: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending here. He slaps Rock to start and knocks him into the corner. Rock comes back with a jumping clothesline but Jericho takes him right back down again. A Samoan Drop gets two for Rock. Jericho comes back again with a middle rope dropkick for two. Rock Bottom is countered as are the Walls. Jericho dropkicks him to the floor and follows him out. This has been very back and forth so far.

Rock gets dropped on the barricade but Jericho gets crotched coming back in. A superplex brings the champion back in but it only gets two. They slug it out and Rock clotheslines him down for two. A Jericho DDT puts both guys down and Jericho hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. A backbreaker puts Rock down and Jericho chops away. The champ tries a dropkick but gets caught in the Sharpshooter.

Jericho makes the rope but walks into the spinebuster. The People’s Elbow gets loaded up but Jericho moves out of the way. Rock takes a Rock Bottom from Jericho but it only gets two. Jericho throws him to the floor and then into the steps for good measure. The champ loads up the announce table and hits the Breakdown through said table, with Rock’s head being a good six inches away from contact.

Rock is bleeding a bit as Jericho takes off the buckle pad. For some reason the referee never counted at all. Back in and Jericho sends him into the exposed buckle which doesn’t even put Rock down onto the mat. There are the Walls and after a good awhile Rock makes the rope. Jericho goes for the hold again and gets rolled up for the pin and the title for the Rock.

Rating: B. This was good but it was the abridged version of their match at No Mercy, which was much better by a few thousand miles. Jericho losing here doesn’t really make a lot of sense as he could hold the title over Rock but now there’s almost nothing at all that he can brag about. That would be somewhat resolved post match but I don’t get the idea here for the most part.

Jericho blasts Rock with a chair shot to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was almost all about building to the PPV which is a good idea, but when the build isn’t that good it doesn’t really mean much. I’d also like to point out that we’re 13 days away from the PPV and we have one match announced. The idea is supposed to be that Austin is going to jump but there isn’t much you can do to build to that before Survivor Series. This was a better show than lately but it still was nothing great.

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