Monday Night Raw
Date: August 13, 2001
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 9,182
Commentators: Paul Heyman, Jim Ross

We’re past Summerslam now and the Alliance war continues. Rock got the WCW Title last night and Austin cheated to keep the WWF Title. Other than that not a lot happened last night. Still though, they had a well hyped show last night and the show worked very well. It was probably the high point of the Alliance Era PPVs. Tonight we start on the road to Unforgiven. Let’s get to it.

Austin is greeted by a big celebration from the Alliance. This is Steve Austin Appreciation Night. He says he’ll lead by example and has more of last night for him if need be.

Stacy Keibler/Torrie Wilson/Ivory vs. Jacqueline/Molly Holly/Lita

The Alliance beat up Lita last night so there’s your story. Ivory and Molly start with a nice little gymnastics routine. Off to Jackie vs. Torrie and guess who wins that one. Jackie takes down both blondes and here’s Lita to a big reaction. She beats on Ivory for a bit and then brings Jackie back in. A tornado DDT gets a quick pin on Ivory. It’s as out of nowhere as it sounds.

Rating: D. What exactly are you looking for here? The match was nothing and a few of the girls looked good. In short, it was a Divas match and no one cared. These feuds went nowhere until Trish FINALLY started getting better and feuded with Lita to make anyone care in the slightest about the Divas.

The Dudleys are in the back with Test when Stephanie comes in. She says they’ve had issues in the past but now they’re both more mature. Last night she didn’t get what she wants so tonight she wants Test to take Jericho out for good. Test calls Stephanie a bad name and says he’ll do it.

Here’s Rock, the new WCW Champion. Booker had talked about taking Rock to school but last night, Booker got taken to People’s Elbow 101, Advanced Rock Bottoms and Getting Whipped All Over The Building 407. Rock requests the appearance of Booker and it’s midget time. He ends every sentence with sucka and is convinced to do a Spinarooni. Now it’s a Moonwalk, the Running Man and the Deion Sanders dance.

Rock wants to know if Booker wants to keep dancing until Lance Storm comes out. Hijinks will end tonight and there’s a WCW Title match with Storm challenging later. Rock doesn’t know who Storm is. Storm superkicks the midget which isn’t quite as good as Shawn superkicking the girl a few years back. Somehow this took over twelve minutes.

We recap the APA chasing Shane off during the WCW Title match last night, resulting in Bradshaw taking Shane down with the Clothesline.

APA/Scotty 2 Hotty/Big Show/Spike Dudley/Billy Gunn vs. Dudley Boys/Chuck Palumbo/Sean O’Haire/Hugh Morrus/Tommy Dreamer

There are twelve in this if you don’t feel like counting. Farrooq vs. Palumbo to start things off. Quickly off to Sean and Scotty. I wouldn’t expect any long segments in this match. Morrus and Dreamer try to double team Hotty but get taken down by a double clothesline. Here’s Gunn who gets caught in What’s Up but the APA saves. Bradshaw pounds on Tommy and Spike adds a double stomp off the top.

Dreamer catches Spike in a half crab but it’s off to Bubba for some power. A HUGH double flapjack gets two for D-Von. Morrus comes in and walks into a Dudley Dog. Show comes in and everything breaks down. It’s finishers all around for the next minute or so, ending with Show killing Dreamer with the chokeslam for the win.

Rating: C-. This was a big mess but the parade of finishers is always fun to see. It makes no sense as why wouldn’t they use those all the time, but it’s always cool to see. This was really the only way to get most of the people on the roster onto the shows, especially before the Brand Split, which really was a good thing.

Hurricane gives his testimonial about why he loves Steve Austin, which turns into why Green Lantern is awesome. Austin is his new favorite though.

Chris Jericho vs. Test

Jericho is all banged up from the Rhyno match last night. He says nothing of note pre match. Jericho hits a quick forearm to start but walks into a full nelson slam for no cover. Test hammers away but a powerbomb is countered and Jericho takes him down with a spinwheel kick. A neckbreaker sets up the bulldog but Stephanie breaks up the Lionsault. The big boot misses and Jericho knocks him to the floor. Chris goes after Stephanie but here’s Rhyno. Jericho sends him into the steps but walks into the big boot for the pin. Short match and not much to it.

Last night Christian accidentally speared Edge but Edge won the IC Title anyway. Christian comes up to Edge and talks about how they won the King of the Ring and the IC Title last night. Edge raises his glasses at this but lets Christian take the trophy for his match tonight.

Austin inspires Stasiak so much that Stasiak can’t say it right so we get well over 40 takes of it.

Mick Foley is at WWF New York and is inspired by Angle almost winning but getting screwed last night.

WCW Title: Lance Storm vs. The Rock

Storm jumps the champ to start and Rock is in some trouble. Rock comes back with a clothesline and punches away. Storm hits that perfect superkick of his to knock Rock to the floor. Back in Rock charges into an elbow and Storm gets two off a clothesline. Storm punches him down but walks into a spinebuster to put both guys down. The champ gets two off a DDT. Rock Bottom ends this clean.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad I guess but what was the point? Rock was never in any real jeopardy (as expected) but there wasn’t even a hurdle for him to get over. This went nowhere though and seemed kind of stupid to do to a guy that lost the IC Title last night. Couldn’t they swap in like Hugh Morrus or someone like that here?

Little Booker comes in for a People’s Elbow and two Spinaroonis.

We recap last Thursday where Saturn beat Moppy and then had Moppy stolen. He put her face on a milk carton. I think Raven wound up doing it.

European Title: Christian vs. Matt Hardy

Christian makes fun of the Sacramento Kings before the match because he’s turning heel soon. Lita still has a bad leg. Christian jumps the champ to start which doesn’t work that well. Matt is sent to the floor but is back in quickly for more punching. Matt hits a clothesline and escapes the Unprettier. Twist is countered and Christian gets a rollup with his feet on the ropes for two. Reverse DDT gets two. Unprettier is countered into the Twist for Matt to retain. This was nothing again.

Package of stills from Austin vs. Angle last night.

Booker arrives over an hour into the show and gets laughed at.

Page thinks Sara wants to sleep with him. He’s not worried about Undertaker.

Taz says Austin has toughened him up.

Booker demands a rematch with Rock tonight. Since Shane owns WCW, couldn’t he make the title match anytime he wanted to? Regal makes midget jokes and explains the midget to Booker. Tajiri laughs so tonight it’s Booker vs. Tajiri.

Booker T vs. Tajiri

Booker is in street clothes. Booker welcomes Tajiri to the fire so Tajiri fires (see what I did there?) off kicks. Tajiri gets caught by a beating and we go to the floor. Booker beats on him for about two minutes until the referee disqualifies him. Yeah keep making those young and popular guys look like jobbers WWF. Keep it up and see what’s going to happen with it.

Taker makes sure Sara wants to fight DDP tonight.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Sara

Sara is allowed a free slap. Page shoves her down so Undertaker pulls him to the floor, chokeslams him on the concrete, the bell rings and Sara gets the pin in four seconds. And AGAIN, a WCW guy is made to look like a joke, meaning there’s no point in caring about him at all. Stuff like this is probably one of the biggest reasons the Invasion failed (along with the McMahons and it lasting five months).

Here’s the whole Alliance for Steve Austin Appreciation Night. Some of them have gifts for Austin. Heyman is the master of ceremonies here. Hurricane says that Green Lantern has been his hero but now Austin is his hero. Didn’t he say this earlier? He’s going to wear an Austin shirt instead of the Green Lantern one. Kanyon gives him a Who Better Than Austin shirt. Debra gives him a plate of the famous Debra Cookies. Heyman saves him from having to eat one by airing a video package of Austin’s time in the Alliance. All five weeks of it.

Stephanie gets in and calls the rest of the Alliance in as well. And now, a song. Yes a song. It’s the high point of the camp value of this, minus the good aspect of it. Lillian is brought in to sing, and I couldn’t possibly make this up, Wind Beneath Our Ring. It’s a version of a Bette Middler song and the words are on the screen with a bouncing Austin head. Stephanie makes her start again for a lack of heart and soul.

Now Stephanie is going to lead it. JR: “Oh God not that.” It makes Vickie Guerrero sound like Shakira if you’re interested. Chavo sings some of it for some reason as does Terri. Even Raven sings as does Justin Credible. I’m in awe of this. Not because it’s good or anything, but because THIS IS AIRING ON MONDAY NIGHT RAW.

Austin thanks everyone for it and yells at Tazz for wearing a Tazz shirt. FINALLY Angle arrives in the milk truck to spray everyone down/ Stasiak takes a header into the truck which gets the only laugh of the show out of me. JR says the Billion Dollar Princess has just become the Dairy Queen to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. There’s nothing redeeming about this show at all. Nothing. The longest match is the twelve man tag at just over five minutes. Everything else is a squash with the Alliance guys being decimated AGAIN. Then to top it off, they sang a Bette Middler song until a guy came out and sprayed everyone down with milk. Even TNA would say that was stupid. Horrible HORRIBLE show and one of the worst I can remember in a long time.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 13, 2001
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 14,008
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

This is the go home show for Summerslam which I didn’t realize we were that close to. Rock has his title match with Booker that night and we’ll also see Angle vs. Austin in the clash of the Bald Brotherhood even though Angle isn’t bald yet. Tonight the main event is a tag match because that’s what Raw does best of course. Let’s get to it.

There’s a tag title match in a cage.

Here’s the Alliance led by Austin. The rest of the guys are on the floor while he’s alone in the ring. He’s got a contract or a clipboard in his hand. Austin says he’s giving the Alliance guys the chance to shine. Since he joined the Alliance he’s led by example. Starting last Thursday, he’s leading by example. We get a clip of Angle getting Stunned and having his ankle Pillmanized. He praises the Alliance guys for looking good but enough about them.

He’s awesome and wants to know who wants to become famous like Austin? Who’s going to step up tonight? Someone must want Kurt Angle tonight. Heyman starts an RVD chant and RVD jumps up on the apron to accept the challenge. Now he asks for a round of applause for Kanyon/DDP who are the new WWF Tag Team Champions. Now on to Test who has jumped ship to the Alliance. Where’s Rhyno? He Gored Jericho through something lately so Austin praises him.

And then we get to the bad stuff: some people haven’t been listening to Austin’s teachings. Therefore on Thursday, there’s going to be the Steve Austin Invitational, whatever that is. Austin calls attention to Taz, Raven and Hugh Morrus. He yells at Dreamer for being too much of a pushover always asking people if they need anything. As for the three in the ring, he asks Morrus who beat him last Thursday. That would be Chris Jericho. Austin makes fun of Morrus’ name, perhaps debuting the WHAT catchphrase.

Austin rips into Morrus and says he’s not here to be funny so get out of his face. Now it’s Raven. Who beat him last week? That would be Perry Saturn. “He carries a mop. You should have mopped the ring with him.” Austin makes fun of Raven’s catchphrases which gets a big reaction. “You suck, quoth Stone Cold, nevermore.”

And then there’s Taz. This was what was built up as the big face turn in the Alliance but it never happened. Austin rips into Taz for not putting up a fight and being a joke of a human suplex machine. We get a clip of Taz doing nothing while Shane took a Rock Bottom through the table last week on Smackdown.

Austin takes off his belt and says it’s time for a come to Jesus moment. Taz has put him in a bad position and has to be whipped as a result. Austin demands the shirt come off but Taz won’t do it. Instead Austin sends Raven and Morrus plus others in for a beatdown. After What’s Up and a Gore, Austin whips him. Cool segment which didn’t feel like the twenty minutes it took up.

Christian says he’ll be in Edge’s corner for the match tonight.

Tajiri vs. Albert

Tajiri tries his fast strikes but Albert throws him around. A gorilla press drop and a splash get two. He loads up the Derailer but Tajiri slides down and fires off kicks. Tajiri tries the Tarantula but Pac interferes. Regal takes X-Pac out and Tajiri mists him. Baldo Bomb is loaded up but Regal makes the save as the referee is with X-Pac. More mist to Albert and a middle rope dropkick sets up the Buzzsaw Kick for the pin. Too short to rate but this was fast paced and fun.

RVD has challenged Angle to a match for the Hardcore Title match tonight. Angle pops up and says his ankle is sore but he’s got gold medals. He was in worse shape when he won those so yes he accepts the challenge. Hugh Morrus pops up and beats down Angle. And never mind as Kurt Angle remembers he’s fighting Hugh Morrus and comes back with an ankle lock.

Edge/Christian vs. Lance Storm/Justin Credible

We get an Impact Players pose on the stage which is always cool. Why? Because it happened in the past and is therefore inherently awesome. Heyman immediately starts talking about the history of the Alliance team. Christian takes over on Storm to start, hitting an atomic drop and it’s off to Justin. A sitout powerbomb gets two for Justin as the evil ones take over.

Christian takes Storm down and makes the tag to Edge. He cleans house but throws Justin into Christian, sending the latter into the barricade ala Shawn and Owen at Survivor Series 93. There’s no one for Edge to tag and a superkick gets two on him. Edge fights them both off and the Impaler ends Justin. Too short to rate again but this was another entertaining match.

Edge gets put in the Maple Leaf post match but Christian makes the save.

Debra says RVD can beat Angle. Austin says RVD is awesome but Angle is a different kind of animal. Shawn Stasiak comes in to praise Austin’s speeches. Austin tells Stasiak to be more than the son of a former WWF Champion. Stasiak says he’ll do something memorable. This might result in comedy if I remember right.

Kanyon talks to Palumbo/O’Haire about their rematch with Kane/Undertaker tonight. Page tries to fire them up too.

Angle comes in to talk to Regal about the RVD match. Regal tries to tell him to take it easy because of the ankle injury because he doesn’t want to get hurt before Summerslam. Angle says it’s ok and goes into a story about Benjamin Franklin, but Shawn Stasiak comes running in, screaming at the top of his lungs. Angle lets him go crashing into Regal’s suit of armor and Stasiak knocks himself unconscious. This would become a running joke for Stasiak and would actually stay funny.

WCW Tag Titles: Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo vs. Undertaker/Kane

In a cage with the brothers defending. The challengers jump the brothers as they come in, keeping Kane out of the cage. Kane negates this pretty quickly though, slamming the door on O’Haire’s head. Sean takes a chokeslam and the beating begins. He and Palumbo try to run but Undertaker wants more target practice. DDP and Kanyon watch the carnage from the stage. Kane hits another chokeslam on O’Haire. Last Ride to Palumbo as the squash is complete. Page goes after Sara so she climbs into the cage. The champions get stereo pins to retain.

Rating: D-. And that’s because Taker’s wife is hot. This was totally dominant and O’Haire and Palumbo looked like total jobbers. Allegedly there was some big thing where they were disrespectful backstage, but instead of fining them, they got squashed on TV regularly, completely losing any potential value they could have had until Palumbo realized he was almost gay.

Here are Rhyno and Stephanie for some talking. Her rack looks great here, fresh off the plastic surger. She feels very good because Rhyno gored Jericho through the Smackdown set last week. We get a clip of it and to be fair, it did look pretty awesome. Jericho must have had a screw knocked loose because he’s accepted Rhyno’s challenge for Summerslam. Rhyno says it would be an honor to take Jericho out. Stephanie wants to see the video again but here’s Jericho in person.

Jericho says it’s true that he’s never beaten Rhyno, but he’ll take care of the smelly greasy nasty animal at Summerslam. “And I’m going to get you too Rhyno.” Jericho talks about how Rhyno promised to get the job done, but it appears that Stephanie would know about getting a job done. We get a comparison of Stephanie being flat as compared to now when she could put an eye out. Jokes abound withStephanie trying to cover up and making them look even bigger is funny.

She claims that Jericho is just having a wild imagination. Rhyno cuts him off and says come down here and say it. Cue Booker of all people who says that Stephanie is all natural. He says she looks good and thinks she’s taking her vitamins. Booker implies Jericho looks like a woman and says go join the Backstreet Boys. Jericho says go join the A-Team. I love it when a promo comes together. Booker says on Sunday he’s taking Rock to school.

Cue Rock to talk about Booker taking him to school. Rock says imagine Booker in high school: the only 27 year old senior, waiting on the bus with his mama. BEEP BEEP! Then Booker could get to class. “Ok class: what is 2+2. Booker? Thomas Jefferson sucka!” Booker is intelligent but not as smart as Shane. Shane wouldn’t even come out here tonight after the beating Rock gave him on Thursday.

Jericho says that in the ring, we have a manbeast and a ho’s beast. We have the Gore and the…..Stephanie: “SHUT UP!” Rock thinks we should have a rhyming contest. Rock: “Booker T and Shane, the WCW sucker and the silver spoon mother……” and Stephanie misses her cut off so they have to censor Rock. Stephanie makes the obvious tag match tonight. This would be promo #2 tonight that went over eighteen minutes. Spending 1/3 of your show on two promos isn’t a good idea. Jericho: “Thanks Stephanie. You’re the breast.” Rock was feeling it here too so this was funny stuff.

Hurricane Helms comes in to see Austin. He’s been inspired by the speech Austin gave earlier. Austin and Debra make fun of the Green Lantern tattoo on his shoulder. That reminds Austin of Kurt Angle but Hurricane doesn’t think Angle could beat Green Lantern. Hurricane says he tries to fly too. Austin says go act like a hurricane.

Test vs. Spike Dudley

This is because of a six man on Sunday. Test overpowers him to start and throws Spike (didn’t he have a broken leg?) over the top to counter the Dudley Dog. Back in Test misses the big elbow and Spike speeds things up. He hits a middle rope rana but the Dudley Dog is countered again. Big boot ends this quick.

The APA and the Dudleys come in for the post match brawl.

Matt/Lita and Angle shoot the breeze before making fun of Green Lantern. Hurricane comes in and slaps Angle’s milk away. You know that means a whooping.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Kurt Angle

Rob meets him in the aisle. Remember that Kurt has a bad ankle. Rob is rammed into various metal objects and it’s all Kurt to start. Austin and Debra are watching in the back. RVD comes back with his spin kick to the back of Angle on the barricade for two. Into the ring for the first time and Rob brings in a chair.

Naturally he goes into it which gets two for Kurt. Van Dam comes back with a spin kick and the chair surfboard for two. Kurt tries to go up but gets kicked in the head. He responds by taking Van Dam’s head off with a clothesline. Alliance guys run in to break up the ankle lock but Angle hits the Slam on RVD. Jeff Hardy runs in and hits a Swanton on RVD to steal the title.

Rating: C+. Like most of the other short matches tonight, this was energetic enough to make up for the shortness. Jeff winning the title gave him something to do and it was pretty clear that Angle wasn’t going into the main event of Summerslam as the Hardcore Champion. Fast paced and fun here, which are the words of the night for almost all of the wrestling so far.

Austin is in the bathroom when Stasiak is here to apologize. Austin swings the door open to knock him out cold again. Still funny.

Chris Jericho/The Rock vs. Rhyno/Booker T

Jericho and Rhyno start us off and the Canadian hits a cross body to take over. Middle rope missile dropkick gets one as Booker saves. Off to Rock to fire off some rights. Back to Jericho who hits the bulldog but Booker clotheslines him down from the apron. Off to Booker who walks into a flapjack. Stephanie continues to look horrible when she tries to show emotion. Off to Rock and Rhyno with Rock dominating.

Back to Booker and Rhyno low bridges Rock to send him out to the floor, giving the Alliance control. Booker hits a big kick for two. After more of a beating, Booker pulls of a Spinrooni. Was there ever a shirt for that? Back to Rhyno and Rock takes him down with ease and makes the tag to Jericho.

Neckbreaker gets two for Jericho and everything breaks down. Stephanie manages to hit Jericho with a chair and a WCW referee runs down to count two. Rock pulls and then knocks him out. Jericho hooks the Walls on Rhyno and a WWF referee is taken out by Shane. Stephanie comes in, allowing Rhyno to hit Jericho low, roll him up and pin him.

Rating: C. This was your usual main event tag match but the ending was pretty weak. It pushed both matches, but at the same time it felt like it was more about Jericho vs. Stephanie than Jericho vs. Rhyno and we never really got a major payoff to Jericho vs. Stephanie, which sucks for the most part.

Post match Rock cleans house and beats up Shane too. Rock Bottoms all around but Booker intercepts Rock and hits the Bookend. The Alliance stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a good show overall, especially with the big hype to Summerslam. Rock vs. Booker was the focus of tonight which is fine when you have Austin vs. Angle selling itself. The show would wind up being good but Austin vs. Angle was always kind of a letdown for me. Good go home show though.

Here’s Summerslam if you’re interested:

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Smackdown
Date: February 1, 2001
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 11,757
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is a special called Smackdown Extreme. This was claimed to be live but from what I can tell, this was taped two days before. What exactly is extreme about it I’m not sure but I seem to remember some gimmick matches being added in here. This would be just after the Rumble so we need an opponent for Austin at Mania, so we need to start building up to No Way Out. Let’s get to it.

There’s a red X over the logo here because it’s EXTREME!!!

Rock vs. Angle for the title later.

Tag Titles: Hardy Boys vs. Dudley Boys

The Dudleys are defending in their specialty here, the tables match. Only one has to go through a table for the win here. It’s a brawl to start as at the moment there’s no tagging going on. Jeff takes the reverse 3D and What’s Up Matt? The Dudleys set Jeff on a table but he punches Bubba in the balls. Jeff tries a top rope rana but D-Von moves the table. Jeff does the same to save Matt from a double flapjack.

In a cool spot, Bubba is about to superplex Jeff through a table but Matt dives through it instead. Bubba superplexes him onto the wreckage but it doesn’t count because Bubba didn’t drive Matt through it. That makes sense. Matt busts out a ladder and throws D-Von into it. The Hardys set up a table on the floor and then a second beside it. D-Von is placed onto one of them and Matt climbs the ladder but Bubba saves.

D-Von climbs up but Bubba throws Jeff into the two of them and they fall, SLAMMING THEIR HEADS INTO THE EDGE OF THE TABLE WIHCH DOESN’T BREAK!!! FREAKING OW MAN!!! Everyone is on the floor now with Bubba and Jeff up by the stage. Matt and D-Von are mostly dead as the others fight up by the production tables. They go up onto the stage and after a brief brawl, Bubba hits the Bubba Bomb to Jeff through the tables to retain.

Rating: C. Picture a match between these two teams and make it a tables match. That’s more or less what you had here and it wasn’t that bad. The problem these teams along with Edge/Christian had was you saw them do the matches so many times and it got very repetitive after awhile. This was entertaining enough though.

Austin is watching in the back.

All four guys are getting medical attention in the back. Lita comes up and Matt says go worry about winning the Women’s Title.

We recap HHH and Austin’s contract signing. The deal was if Austin hit HHH before the PPV, he lost his title shot. If HHH hit Austin before the PPV, he was suspended six months. HHH signed and then hit Austin, but he only pretended to sign and then laid Austin out.

Austin leaves his dressing room.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Lita vs. Jacqueline

Ivory is champion. The challengers slide to the floor to get at Ivory so she runs. That fails completely and the double beating continues. The fans are all behind Lita here. Lita gets a headscissors for two on Ivory and it’s your typical one girl beats on Ivory and the other saves the pin and then switch it up. Lit puts Jackie down and hits the moonsault but Ivory comes in to steal the pin. Just how I like my Jackie matches: short.

HHH and Steph get here and find that it was Austin’s dressing room they were in. They find beer cans everywhere and Austin comes out of their bathroom. Everything is leaking apparently and Stephanie is disgusted. This could get awesome.

Here are Edge/Christian who are all worried about their opponents. And they’re facing….Kai En Tai. The Canadians interfered in a tag title match for Kai En Tai on Monday to set this up. However, Funaki has a bad rash so the EVIL Kai En Tai has some replacements.

Edge/Christian vs. Acolytes

The APA rushes the ring and it’s Bradshaw vs. Christian to start. This is two days before the start of the XFL so you know Cole is going to plug that. Bradshaw goes after Edge and the distraction lets Christian hit a dropkick to take over. Off to Edge who beats on Bradshaw a bit until the future rich guy is able to bring in Farrooq. Everything breaks down and Christian escapes the Dominator. Edge slides in some chairs but Funaki takes the Concharito for him. Edge goes after Taka and Farrooq hits a spinebuster on Christian for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much here but they went fast enough that it wasn’t going to get that bad. Also it allows Kai En Tai to get their revenge without making the Canadians look weak. Not a particularly good match but it did what it was supposed to do, which is as much as you can ask for most of the time. You wouldn’t get that today.

Vince yells at people saying that he has his own issues to deal with because he has his own problems. Regal comes in to say Vince has a phone call. Unless it’s Dick Ebersol Vince isn’t interested. Regal says it’s personal and whispers it to Vince, which makes him take it.

Vince is on the phone with someone and says that whoever it is is the most important person to them. That person is here in Columbus. Lawler thinks it’s Trish.

We talk about Chyna making personal appearances to plug her book. She was on Conan last night so we get a clip of it.

Billy Gunn is glad Chyna is keeping a positive mental attitude and has been making all those media appearances. Big Show comes in and is tired of hearing about Chyna so he shoves Billy down. He wants to know when he gets his interview because he’s been out six months.

Trish is in a bubble bath and is on the phone. Why she’s cool with a camera watching this is anyone’s guess. She says there’s plenty of room and wants whoever she’s talking to to come down there right now.

Video on Chris Jericho.

HHH is ticked off at Austin and says he’s not sure if he can make it to the end of this without getting suspended. Steph says calm down and focus on getting the title. She’s going to go talk to Vince because she has an idea.

Jericho, the IC Champion, says he knows extreme so he’s issuing an extreme open challenge for a title match right now.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Taz

Taz says he’ll make Jericho just another victim. Jericho works on the arm to start with an attempt at a Fujiwara Armbar but Taz fights him off. A head and arms suplex puts Jericho down and out on the floor. Jericho gets rammed into the barricade and Taz hooks a chinlock back inside. Jericho gets a rollup but Taz gets out and clotheslines him down. Enziguri puts the challenger down and a forearm gets two. Taz grabs the Tazmission but Jericho escapes and the bulldog sets up the Lionsault for the pin to retain.

Rating: C-. Not bad again but this was again nothing special. This is something you don’t get anymore: one off title defenses to build up the champion a little bit. It doesn’t seem like much here but if you do this four or five times, the champion looks a lot better and is on a roll. See how easy it can be to do that?

Vince is about to leave when Stephanie comes up. He’s in a hurry but she says she has an idea. Vince is in such a hurry that he drives off himself. The idea is add HHH to the world title match tonight which Vince agrees to so he can get out.

Here’s The Kat in a very small top. She talks about how everyone is talking about Smackdown Extreme and all the gimmick matches we’ve got tonight. There are other ways to get extreme though, and that’s where she comes in. There’s nothing she won’t do to get a rise out of the fans and she excels at it. She knows what turns men on and she knows what men want to see. She’s going to give us full frontal nudity and she manages to get her pants off, but as the top is untied, the RTC comes out to cover her up.

Richards goes on a rant against the crowd and Lawler says he hates him. This was a parody of the PTC, which is a group that basically tries to tell everyone how to think and what they should or shouldn’t be allowed to watch on TV. Naturally they hate Vince and the WWF.

We see some Tough Enough auditions, none of which I recognize.

Rock talks about the main event now being a triple threat. HHH got lucky to be married to Stephanie and is getting Rock’s shot as a result. Rock has been in the main event of the last two Wrestlemanias and has to win the title to do it a third straight year. Rock tells Angle to go to the local arcade and take a bunch of pictures of himself. Make them into a belt to hold your pants up because after the Rock takes the title, Angle is going to need something to hold up your pimply hemorrhoid (To Kevin Kelly: “Don’t get excited. The Rock said hemorrhoid not hermaphrodite”) head. Angle and HHH can just bring it.

Austin is still drinking beer. He shakes up two cans and leaves with them.

Big Show vs. Billy Gunn

Billy tries to speed things up so Show kicks his head off. There’s a claw hold and Show hammers on him. Gunn is grabbed by the throat, picked up and dropped but that’s not a chokeslam somehow. The crushing goes on for awhile. Gunn gets something like a sleeper but is countered into a side slam. Billy misses an elbow and hits a bulldog but Show kicks out with ease. Chokeslam ends this a moment later.

Rating: D. Billy Gunn is an interesting case and a fine case study for future attempted pushes. They tried for years to push him as a singles guy but the fans never accepted it. The company kept trying it but at the end of the day he was still Billy Gunn, just a few years later. The fans still didn’t care for him and it still didn’t work. WWE never quite got it though so Billy’s push was never effective. Sometimes it just doesn’t work, as Billy had the perfect look but never got over as he was expected to because the fans just didn’t want him.

HHH is getting ready when Austin comes in and offers him and Stephanie a beer. Instead he opens it and it sprays all over HHH.

Angle says why not make this in a shark tank and the only way you win is to put the opponent down the shark’s throat and pin the shark. He’s ready for the main event.

Video on Kane’s Rumble dominance.

The Brothers of Destruction are ready for the Samoans tonight.

Undertaker music video to Rollin by Limp Bizkit.

Undertaker/Kane vs. Haku/Rikishi

First blood here. Total brawl to start with Undertaker throwing Haku into the steps. The Brothers ping pong Rikishi with punches until Haku is back up. Rikishi and Undertaker head into the ring and Taker hits Old School. The pairings switch off and the Samoans get chairs to take over. Rikishi pounds on Kane in the corner and sets for a Stinkface but Taker cracks Haku with a chair and Kane breaks it up with a low blow. A chokeslam puts Rikishi down and Haku is bleeding but it isn’t seen. Steps to the head of Rikishi and the referee sees Haku bleeding to end it.

Rating: D+. Just a brawl that had a way to declare a winner. This feud wasn’t really interesting anyone and it only ended because of an injury to Rikishi. Not much to see as far as a match but power matches are always kind of fun to see. Kane and Undertaker would move on to bigger things very soon.

The Brothers beat down the Samoans post match to clear the ring.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Kurt Angle vs. HHH

Rock and HHH start fighting before Angle gets here. Angle runs out and is thrown to the floor almost immediately. DDT gets two for Rock very fast. Kurt gets back in and is punched to the floor almost immediately. Pedigree out of nowhere gets two. The match has only been going a minute so far. Here’s Austin because the first minute didn’t have enough happening in it. He comes out with a cooler to watch the match.

Angle uses the distraction to grab the Olympic Slam (back when it could still get a pin) for two as Rock saves. Rock suplexes Angle down but can’t follow up so all three are down. HHH pounds on Rock and goes up top (???) only to have Rock punch him and slam him off the top. Rock throws HHH over the corner and out to the floor but Angle suplexes him. Austin goes for a walk and puts a beer in front of HHH’s face.

HHH slaps it away as Rock comes back on Angle. Rock grabs the Sharpshooter but HHH comes in and DDTs him to break up the hold, getting two. The jumping knee hits and HHH takes him down with a neckbreaker for two. Angle suplexes HHH but walks into a Rock Bottom. Stephanie distracts the referee and Rock goes after her, allowing HHH to blast him. Angle Slam gets two. HHH sets for a catapult but gets kicked into the referee. Angle hits HHH low to break up the Pedigree and rolls him up but there’s no referee. Austin comes in and grabs the referee’s hand to slap the mat three times.

Rating: B. I liked this match a lot as they only had about ten minutes to work with and so they didn’t put anything slow paced out there. Almost everything was about hitting finishers which I usually dislike but this match was thrown together so there was no time for planning or anything like that. Fun match and the ending played into the Austin vs. HHH feud very well.

Overall Rating: B. I could see how people would like this show a lot but to me, there are a lot of dead spots on it. It’s certainly good and an entertaining show, but it doesn’t ever really get past good and into great. Austin vs. HHH would be a great match at No Way Out and it set up the greatest PPV ever, but this never got past being just a good show and into an area of greatness.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 6, 2001
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 10,355
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

We’re continuing towards Summerslam and we’re continuing to watch the Invasion fall apart more and more every day. Rock is back and he’s on Team WWF, but after that the problem becomes “what happens now?” The problem has become that the Invasion has happened and now nothing else has come of it. ECWCW is here and they don’t really do anything other than have various matches which mean nothing. I’m sure that’ll get rectified in the next three months though right? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Rock joining the WWF again. Also on Smackdown we got the setup of Booker vs. Rock for Summerslam. Also out of this we get Rock vs. Shane in a street fight for Raw tonight.

Theme song gets things going.

Hardcore Title: Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Kane knocks Van Dam off the top during his pre match posing and we head to the outside. He sets to powerbomb RVD on the floor but Van Dam escapes. A big boot to the face sends RVD into the barricade but Van Dam comes back and slams Kane into the same barricade. Spin kick from the apron hits Kane in the back and gets two. Kane shrugs it off and throws Van Dam, a chair and the steps into the ring. A drop toehold puts Kane into the steps and Van Dam surfboards the chair to the masked face. Kane comes back again and hits the top rope clothesline for two. DDP comes in and kills Kane with the chair so the Five Star can finish.

Rating: D. This was whatever. It was another attempt to further Undertaker vs. DDP I guess or maybe to start Kane vs. DDP. Either way it’s nothing interesting because DDP isn’t going to get a legit chance to do anything around here, as he’s stuck in the same feud where he has no chance of ever winning anything.

We recap Debra and Austin and the cookies. Austin insulted them and then ignored Debra to talk about Angle, but Debra stole the mic and yelled at him. He ignored her again so she hit him with the cookie sheet and left. That messed Austin up so he freaked out.

They arrived earlier and nothing happened.

Booker is auditioning for a movie role. This isn’t going to end well at all. He has the belt and the sunglasses. There’s no name given for the movie or the part or anything, but the casting chick does a Rock imitation.

Here’s Stephanie, now with Drowning Pool’s Bodies as her theme song. That’s still the best live performance of a song I’ve ever heard. She talks about how at Summerslam, bodies are going to hit the floor and about how Rocky is afraid of the Alliance. Shane is going to beat him up in the street fight tonight because Rock hasn’t wrestled for four months. She talks about (notice me saying that a lot?) how Shane has had a bunch of great matches and says he’s a gladiator.

Finally Jericho comes out to interrupt her. Stephanie has some rather loose morals you see, and likes it in a lot of positions. She calls him catty and says he’s like a girl. Stephanie can’t talk at all. I mean she can’t. She points out that no matter how many times he runs his mouth, HHH winds up beating Jericho up. Therefore, Jericho calls her a bigger sl**. You know, there was a million dollar heel turn in making Jericho fall in love with Stephanie.

Jericho says that Stephanie has been with every human being, so it’s time to move onto a new planet: the Planet of the Apes. And yes, that means people in ape costumes come out to Kamala’s old song. Stephanie winds up taking a pie to the face. And that’s it. No match is made, no one is beaten down. The only thing that happened was a guy in an ape suit gave Jericho a pie and it wound up on Stephanie’s face.

Lita and Debra say nothing of note until Debra takes something the wrong way and she has to defend Austin.

Regal and Tajiri are having a chat when X-Pac comes in and complains about not being on Raw or Smackdown since he won the Cruiserweight Title. I’ll ignore the fact that he won the title LAST WEEK ON RAW and get to the fact that it’s Tajiri vs. Pac for the title tonight.

Jacqueline vs. Torrie Wilson/Stacy Keibler

This can’t go on long. The universe can’t withstand it. The two jump the one quickly but she fights back while shouting. I’m shocked at the range of her character development in this. Stacy is sent to the floor so Ivory returns, DDT Jackie to turn Alliance and Torrie gets the pin. If Ivory had actually been around for the last four months…..yeah I still wouldn’t care. Too short to rate, thank goodness.

DDP has a shrine to Sara in the back. AND NO ONE NOTICED HIM SETTING THIS UP TODAY???

Terri is at WWF New York. Heyman isn’t surprised she got dumped for a mop so she starts crying.

Debra tells Austin about the Lita thing. Apparently she had a lot of subtext going on because Lita apparently said Austin getting hit in the head was funny and that the marriage makes no sense and that Austin is trailer trash and that Matt can beat Austin. The final part makes Austin snap and he storms off.

Booker talks to the director. He has no acting experience but Rock didn’t either. This is about a British aristocrat so Booker throws together a British voice.

Stephanie and the Dudleys come to see Regal. Bubba wants to know what follows the apes: lions, tigers, and bears? Jericho can pick his partner tonight against the Dudleys. This show is needing to actually DO SOMETHING and fast.

Light Heavyweight Title: X-Pac vs. Tajiri

First of all, Pac has both titles but this is just for one because having one less title means the end of the world as we know it I guess. Second, this is for a WWF Title between two WWF guys, so there’s an Alliance referee. The fans all think X-Pac sucks. They trade kicks and Tajiri takes over with his signature stuff. Pac sends him to the floor and mostly misses his dive. We can hear a voice which I think is the director. Back in, Pac tries something off the top but jumps into Mist and a Buzzsaw Kick to give Tajiri his first title. Too short to rate but Paul says that’s his first major title in the WWF. What’s a minor title then?

Austin goes to yell at Matt and Lita. Matt and Lita deny it which Austin says sounds like calling Debra a liar. Austin vs. Matt later.

Booker reads lines and stage directions. The co-star comes in and he calls her a sucka. She recognizes him and asks if he’s related to Mr. T.

Dudley Boys vs. Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle

Brawl to start until it’s D-Von vs. Kurt. A quick ankle lock is broken up and the Dudleys hit the reverse 3D. Ray pounds on Kurt for a bit until Kurt hits a HUGE German to take him down and set up the hot tag on both sides. Springboard dropkick puts Bubba down and the Lionsault gets two on D-Von. Rhyno runs in to Gore Jericho but it only gets two. D-Von misses a headbutt and there’s the tag to Angle. Angle suplexes every Dudley in sight but the moonsault hits knees. Angle bouncing off the knees was a great visual. Jericho breaks up What’s Up and Angle hooks the ankle for the tap from Bubba.

Rating: C. So why was Rhyno in there again? Either way this was a fun match and a nice fast paced one as opposed to what we’ve sat through so far tonight. Angle and Jericho always had good chemistry together and it gives Angle another win so you can’t complain much. Not a great match or anything but it was fine, especially given how fst they had to go.

Austin intimidates Lita.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Lance Storm

Big pop for Christian’s music. Christian denounces offbeat shenanigans to start and asks Storm to join him in a special Five Second Pose. Edge runs in and pantses Storm, revealing what appear to be Power Ranger underwear. Christian takes over on an annoyed champion to start but Storm comes back with a dropkick that clearly misses by a good foot. Either way it gets two. Storm goes to a choke/chinlock and yells a lot. Small package gets two for Christian. Christian comes back but Storm gets a rollup and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is something I’d love to see more of. This was a very basic match with a basic story (Storm is mad and is the villain who yells about not being serious then cheats himself) and ends with the heel cheating to win. Nothing wrong with that and the match was fine (other than the surprising obvious miss from Storm on the dropkick), which is something that seeing more of would be nice.

Taker and Sara get here and Kane is waiting on them. He tells them about the shrine and wants to go break it and Page. Taker asks Kane to take Sara to the APA and then they’ll go take care of business.

Angle comes up to Rock and acknowledges that they dislike each other. Rock wants to know why Angle doesn’t like him. Angle: “You’re mean to me!” Rock offers a clean slate and Angle is all cool with that. He’s here to offer Rock some advice for Rock in his match with Shane tonight. And it’s milk. Rock takes it, shines it up a little bit, turns it sideways, and drinks it down. Rock: “THAT’S DELICIOUS!” Next time though, bring him some pie. Angle: “I know this place that has the best apple you’ll ever taste.” I don’t know if it’s that I’m tired but this was HILARIOUS.

Austin tells Debra what Lita “said” about her.

Taker busts up the shrine (somehow not starting a fire by knocking over the candles) and Page pops up. He and Kanyon beat him down. See, this is where the angle fell apart. Well not really because it had fallen apart months before but you get the idea. The problem was that while Page was evil for so long and did all that stuff to Taker and Sara, he never got anywhere because of it. He was still beaten down by Taker and Kane every time and looked like a loser. Again, no new stars are made here and the story is worthless as a result.

Matt Hardy vs. Steve Austin

Matt is European Champion, even though he hasn’t defended it in weeks, at least not on Raw. Austin can’t get in the ring to start but once he does, Austin hammers Matt down. He even busts out a fireman’s carry takeover. This quickly turns into a really boring match because it’s 2001 and it’s Steve Austin vs. Matt Hardy. The girls get in the ring and Lita takes a Stunner. A second one beats Matt.

Rating: D-. What in the world was the point of this? Matt got in nothing and it makes the European Title look even more worthless than it already is, somehow. It was a squash between guys that we knew would wind up as a squash. Matt didn’t do anything with Austin or any other main event guy after this, so what was the point? I’d like an explanation here people.

More Booker comedy minus the funny part. He finally beats up the director.

The Rock vs. Shane McMahon

Street fight. Shane and Rock cut quick promos to start which don’t say anything of note. To the shock of no one, Rock destroys him to start and they head into the crowd. We’re about three minutes in and Shane hasn’t gotten in a single punch yet. Back to ringside now and Shane gets in some elbows. A clothesline off the apron puts Rock down.

He pulls out a trashcan and hits Rock up the ramp. Shane charges at him with the can but Rock pulls himself up by the set and kicks the can into Shane’s face. Now the Rock puts the can on Shane’s head and grabs a chair. Shane is knocked back to the ring and he eventually gets some stick shots in. Rock makes his comeback and takes out an interfering Booker. Rock Bottom ends this.

Rating: D. Gee, the Rock beat Shane McMahon in a one on one match. I wonder how many people bet the other way. What idiots they must feel like now. I mean, betting on a wrestling match? The match was your usual stuff as the weapon shots were nothing special, but really…….WHY WAS THIS EVEN COMPETITIVE???

Shane grabs Rock’s boot and Booker kicks his head off. Booker lays Rock out with a belt shot and Shane hits the flying elbow through the announce table to end this.

Overall Rating: D+. This really didn’t work for me at all. Again the problem is that everything in the Invasion means nothing for the most part. It’s the same thing that happened to the NWO: these wins and losses don’t mean anything because there’s no end goal to any of this. The Alliance and WWF can trade wins until the Panda Revolution but it doesn’t mean anything because there’s nothing at stake. They never fixed that problem, at all.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 30, 2001
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

It’s still the Invasion and we’re heading towards Summerslam in about three weeks. That takes a big back seat to the return of the Rock, who is back tonight after a long absence. Gee some things never really change do they. Anyway the wrestling tonight looks just ok. Oh wait I almost forgot: Angle won the WCW Title from Booker on Smackdown last week so there’s that too. The rematch is tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week with Vince reinstating the Rock. On Thursday there was a video was aired showing all of the horrible things Vince has done to Rock over the years.

Dreamer and Heyman come out with Tazz and throw Cole out of commentary so Heyman can take over. Tazz gets in the ring and says Booker gets the title back tonight and Rock joins the Alliance after that. Jericho interrupts him and has a mic in hand. He says he’s tired of hearing from the voice of the Alliance and that Tazz shouldn’t be staring in Tough Enough but rather Jackass.

Tazz vs. Chris Jericho

Lionsault, 35 seconds. There was an escaped Tazmission in there too.

There’s a bunch of decorations in Vince’s office for Rock. Regal and Tajiri come in with some pies. Vince says Rock likes other kind of pie, and besides the blueberry pie is missing a slice. They accuse Tajiri of taking it so he pops up his own eyebrow. Yeah he stole it. Regal tells Tajiri to bugger off and go win the Hardcore Title. Vince: “I don’t think blueberry pie and Hardcore Titles go well together.” Regal: “My mother used to say the exact same thing.” Get Regal his own show. Please.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Tajiri

They trade some kicks but none connect. RVD does the finger point so Tajiri KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. Out to the floor and Van Dam hits a flip dive for two. Rob gets a chair but Tajiri hits his handspring to kick it into Van Dam’s face, getting two on the floor. Rob goes up and gets crotched but is caught in the Tree of Woe.

Tajiri puts two chairs in Rob’s face and hits a baseball slide for two. Handspring elbow is countered by Tajiri counters into a German suplex for two. Tajiri hooks some freaky rolling body scissors/hammerlock/Koji Clutch combo. Van Dam hits a rolling fireman’s carry slam and a middle rope moonsault for two. The chair is put on Tajiri and the Five Star crushes him to keep the title in the Alliance.

Rating: B-. This was really entertaining. Tajiri was incredibly awesome at this point and some of his stuff still impresses me today. That handspring into the chair was great. Rob’s selling was a bit lacking, but it’s a hardcore match so that’s to be expected. Fun stuff and I’d love to see more from these two.

The Alliance has a welcome home party for Rock as well. Austin brought Rock his own cooler and Debra brings her famously bad cookies. Booker comes in and is nervous. Nick Patrick comes in and says Rock is about five minutes away. Austin yells at Booker not to use the Spinarooni but Booker keeps looking at the cookies. He tries one and almost gets sick.

Vince goes to greet Rock but runs into Big Show who has a few ideas to pitch to Vince. He and Gunn are now a team and he has some names to pitch. The first is Show Gunns which Vince isn’t thrilled with. The Big Gunns, the Show Bills and Big Billy Show Gunns are also suggested but Vince gets tired of hearing it. He says call yourselves Double Trouble Crap on a Stick. Show likes it. And we’ll be moving on.

Video on how Angle won the WCW Title on Thursday.

Angle talks about Mary Lou Retton and says he’s better than Booker. He also makes fun of Booker for crying after losing the title. Angle is also better than Austin and wants to fight him at Summerslam.

All three McMahons are here to greet Rock. There are photographers as well. The limo pulls up and it’s Kanyon who has been awarded the US Title by Booker.

Hurricane Helms/Torrie Wilson vs. Matt Hardy/Lita

Anything good in this match would result in Torrie staying on the apron and looking good. Naturally she starts with Lita and helps Helms with a double suplex. We finally bring in Matt and he gets two off a clothesline. Lita hits running clotheslines in both corners. Helms throws Lita to the floor but his superkick is countered. Litarana and Twist of Fate get two as Torrie saves. Another Twist puts Helms down but Torrie hits him low so a small package can pin Hardy.

Rating: D. Torrie had a great smile but she had little business in a wrestling match. Stacy and Torrie as the female Alliance representatives never worked at all, especially against Lita and an improving Trish. Not a horrible match but it should have been one on one.

Austin fires up Booker but Booker has a stomach ache. Booker thinks it’s butterflies but Austin says it’s the cookies.

Test is very sweaty and says he didn’t like being branded a traitor. He’s with the WWF.

WCW World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Booker T

BIG pop for Angle. Angle meets him in the aisle and this is No DQ. The Alliance runs in and beats Angle down before the bell, including a Gore by Rhyno. The WWF guys run in and beat down the Alliance guys. Shane and Booker are hiding in the crowd. Booker’s eyes bugging out are hilarious. After a break Angle is in big trouble on the floor. I’m not sure if the bell has rung yet or not.

There’s the bell and an answer to my question. Back in and Angle hammers away but Shane comes in. Booker hits a jumping superkick and Angle is right back down. German Suplex is countered by a low blow by Booker. Booker drops a knee and a clothesline gets two. A slam sets up a chinlock but Angle gets up, only to be sent into the corner and stomped down again.

Angle fights back with right hands and snaps off a German. We cut to the back and there’s a big brawl with the WWF guys dominating the Alliance. Shane slides a chair into Booker but Angle avoids the swing. Angle hits some forearms and a German for two. There’s the Angle Slam and the fans erupt. Ankle Lock goes on and here’s Austin who takes a right hand as well. The distraction lets Booker hit the Axe Kick but there’s no referee. Shane calls in an Alliance referee who gets two. Robinson (WCW referee) goes down and Booker does too from an Angle Slam. Stunner to Angle and the WWF referee counts the pin.

Rating: B. Angle looks strong still and Booker gets his first major win here. Throw in the Austin vs. Angle feud being advanced and this was a very successful match. The storylines aside, this was entertaining and fast paced with the No DQ stipulation helping things since this way we don’t have to have some stupid excuse for all the insanity.

Austin runs to the back and drives away.

Angle runs into Debra with the cookies. THEY SUCK. Someone finally tells her. Angel telling Debra that her cookies suck got a big pop. Do you get how hot this crowd is for Angle?

Kanyon/Lance Storm vs. Edge/Christian

Storm says he enjoys a good party but hates these constant offbeat shenanigans from Edge and Christian. The brothers (I think they still were at this point) jump the Alliance and we’re under way. The regular team makes Storm drop an elbow on Kanyon but Kanyon grabs a crucifix with Storm hitting a PERFECT dropkick to knock Christian down into it for two.

Christian plays Ricky Morton (the hair is close enough) and the heels work him over. Suplex gets two for Kanyon. Kanyon hooks Colt Cabana’s Billy Goat’s Curse while Storm drops a fist from the top into the back of Christian. Kanyon comes back in but Christian escapes a belly to back suplex and hits the reverse DDT. There are the tags to Edge and Storm and the Spear gets two. Everything breaks down and Storm brings in a title but walks into the Edgecution. Kanyon comes in and hits a Flatliner on Edge onto the belt and Storm gets the cheap pin.

Rating: D+. Not a great match or anything but it was ok enough. These matches have been really lackluster tonight other than the match with the top guys. The problem is that these matches don’t really gain anything for anyone. Then again the Rock is the whole point to this so we’re filling in time until then.

Angle jumps the Alliance.

Regal tells Vince Rock is coming and confirms the license number of the car Vince sent for Rock, making Vince very happy.

Cruiserweight Title/Light Heavyweight Title: X-Pac vs. Billy Kidman

Title for title. Pac tries to throw him in the air but Kidman hits a great rana to take over. Pac sends him outside and hits a great flip dive to take over. They chop it out and Pac is launched into the post. Back in and Kidman goes up top. A top rope splash misses and X-Pac hits a few spin kicks. Powerbomb gets two and the Bronco Buster hits. Pac jumps into a dropkick for two and they trade rollups. Kidman’s corner walking bulldog is countered and X-Pac goes up. Kidman tries to meet him up there but Pac counters into an X-Factor off the top rope. That looked great and it unifies the titles.

Rating: C+. Another good match here from guys that know how to work together. They needed a lot more than four minutes but they could have done somet

hing interesting with more time. The unification would be gone pretty soon as there was another unification match at Survivor Series which got rid of the Light Heavyweight Title all together.

The McMahons and Regal wait with the photographers but this time it’s The Fink. Why is the Fink arriving at Raw with about 35 minutes left? Oh ok he was supposed to go pick up Rock but he couldn’t understand the directions.

Vince says he’ll wait on Rock in the ring.

We look at last week when Sara got knocked out by an Undertaker chair shot.

The Dudleys asked for a tables match with Kane/Undertaker because he’s vulnerable. Sara goes through a table tonight. They say that Sara isn’t safe at home or in the back either.

We cut to the Rocky statue and the Rock is looking up at it. Cool visual.

Dudley Boys vs. Kane/Undertaker

Tables match. The brawl starts on the floor until we get down to Kane beating on D-Von in the ring while the other two fight outside. Top rope clothesline puts D-Von down. I’m not sure if you need one or both to go through a table to win here. Taker and Bubba are in the ring now. The Dudleys double teak the Dead Man and the reverse 3D puts him down.

A table is brought in but so is Kane. D-Von is left alone with Taker who loads up a chokeslam, but Nick Patrick shoves the table away. Page runs in with a low blow and they load up a superbomb for Sara through the table. She holds Bubba off until Kane and Taker get bac up and Ray is chokeslamed through the table for the victory for the tall brothers.

Rating: D. The match sucked but it was there to fill in some time and I guess kid of almost advancing the Taker vs. DDP feud. Can you really even call it a feud when DDP hasn’t won a single round of it? Not a horrible match but again it was more filler for the ending of the show with Rock.

Rock is here.

All three McMahons are in the ring. Here he is. Shane talks first, talking about how Vince screwed both at Wrestlemania and the night after. Vince even screwed Rock at Wrestlemania 16. Vince admits that he’s made mistakes including backing Austin against Rock. Vince isn’t offering an apology for the past because he wants to talk about the future. He says he might screw Rock again in the future if it’s good for business. That’s the truth and Vince is the devil Rock knows as opposed to the devils he doesn’t know. Vince says listen to the people.

The people cheer and Vince says Rock’s future is with the people and the WWF. Shane says the Alliance is the future and where the people are going to be. Rock hasn’t said a word this whole time. Vince says give the people what they want and Rock lays out Vince with a Rock Bottom. Shane celebrates and Rock stares him down. Shane shakes Rock’s hand but is pulled into a Rock Bottom. Rock grabs the mic and says FINALLY, the Rock has come back……to the WWF. Shane gets an elbow.

Overall Rating: B. Better show but like I said, almost everything was just setting up the ending. To be fair though, that trumps everything else. I’m not wild on Angle having a four day reign but it gives Booker the first big win in the WWF which he needed. This was one of the better shows in awhile but they needed to actually go somewhere with the story, which they weren’t really doing.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 23, 2001
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole

The Invasion is in full swing and we have a new big star in the now officially named Alliance: Stone Cold turned again last night, joining up with them. You know, the company that fired him via Fed-Ex in the 90s and that he lost to Mikey Whipwreck in. Anyway, tonight will likely be promo heavy as Austin explains his actions. Let’s get to it.

Taker vs. Rhyno later.

Here’s the Alliance to open things up. Austin has new music. We just have the leaders here. Stephanie says she understands why so many people are angry. The truth is a bitter pill to swallow. Take it with juice. It helps a lot. She’s still so bad on the mic. I can’t complain about seeing her in leather though. The WWF is doomed, we are the future, all that jazz.

Heyman says we told you so and various other things. He introduces Austin, saying he who has the gold has the power. Actually Shane has something to say first. It’s more of the same that Heyman and Steph already said. The Alliance fans will be better fans than the WWF ones. Now it’s time to hear from Austin. Austin says he’s not appreciated by the WWF and Vince. Vince was always hugging Angle behind his back. Yes, this is really what they were going with.

Also, Vince has been on the phone a lot lately and has been calling The Rock. ERUPTION for that name. Why call the Rock? Austin is right here. Vince doesn’t need Rock or Angle when he’s right here. He’s jumped to a team that loves Austin. They’ll find him top level competition. My assumption would be that he’ll fight WWF guys, as in THE SAME COMPETITION HE’S FOUGHT FOR YEARS!!! I’ve never gotten that point.

Anyway Angle comes out to interrupt and gets a big pop for himself. He became a star out of this whole ordeal. Austin runs his mouth and Angle hasn’t said anything yet. Angle lost on Thursday because Austin wasn’t there to save him. Austin recites the Pledge and Angle hits the floor and destroys him, sending Austin running after a suplex.

RVD celebrates being the Hardcore Champion and says the WWF guys want to join them now.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Matt Hardy

Matt hits a baseball slide to RVD as he makes his entrance. He sends Rob into the post and we head back in. There’s a ladder but Rob knocks it to the floor and hits Rolling Thunder for two. He brings the ladder back in and puts it almost in the middle of the ring. Rob goes up but Matt climbs as well and hip tosses him down where Van Dam lands on his leg. Matt climbs again (remember that it’s not a ladder match) and drops a leg for two. Matt sandwiches him between the ladder but Rob kicks him low. There goes the referee and Van Dam splashes the ladder onto Matt onto the ladder for the pin. Why shove the referee?

Rating: C. Not bad here but it’s so fast that the ladder didn’t mean a ton. The Jeff match the previous night where Rob got the title was far better as they had a great spotfest which is what these matches should be about. This was fine but after last night’s, it comes up pretty far short.

Edge and Christian runs into the Dudleys in the back. Smack is talked and a table match is proposed. Booker comes in and wants in on it. The Canadians want to know if Booker is related to Mr. T. The tables match will be elimination, meaning three people have to go through tables to end it. Edge and Christian need to find a partner.

Page and Kanyon are in the back and Kanyon has an Invasion MVP shirt. The Alliance won 6 to 5 last night (counting the Heat match which wasn’t mentioned on the PPV) and Kanyon got the deciding win.

Intercontinental Title: Lance Storm vs. Albert

Albert rams him into the corner to start and Lance is in trouble. Storm sends him to the floor but his plancha is caught in a slam. Albert is rammed into the post and Storm takes over. Back in Albert military presses Storm and follows with a splash for two. Bicycle kick looks to set up the Baldo Bomb but Mike Awesome gets the referee. That allows Hugh Morrus to hit Albert with the belt. A superkick gives Storm the title in a short match. Storm got a BIG pop for winning the title.

Post match the WWF runs out for a brawl and everyone comes into the ring in another big fight.

The Alliance bosses celebrate in the back. Kanyon comes in and Austin has no idea who he is. Kanyon: “Who better than Kanyon?” Austin: “Stone Cold Steve Austin better than Kanyon.” Kanyon vs. Jericho later.

Torrie and Stacy say nothing of note.

Regal rants to Tajiri and tells him to go beat Raven.

Edge and Christian get Angle on their side for the tables match.

Tajiri vs. Raven

I miss Tajiri’s music. Tajiri fires off kicks to start and knocks him to the floor. Back in a hip toss sets up a cradle for two. More kicks have Raven in trouble. Handspring elbow hits and the fans are into this. Raven chops in the corner and we head outside again. Back in quickly and it turns into a brawl. Missile dropkick gets two for Tajiri. There’s the Tarantula and the Buzzsaw kick ends this.

Rating: C. Tajiri was fun to watch with all those kicks but Raven was a shell of whatever he was in WCW and ECW. The match was little more than a brawl, but Tajiri was pretty awesome at this point so watching him kick the heads off everyone in sight is never a bad thing. Fun little match which I liked more than I should have I think.

Heyman tells Rhyno how awesome the Alliance is and says all he has to do is beat the Undertaker tonight.

The APA presents Angle with a beer for his attack on Austin earlier. They give him a beer which he says he’s never had before. He sips at it so the APA teaches him to chug. Angle likes it.

Undertaker vs. Rhyno

Taker beats him down and even hits a drop toehold to set up some elbows for two. Old School and a legdrop get two. Taker no sells some kicks but the chokeslam is broken up. Rhyno loads up the Gore but Taker kicks him down. Chokeslam ends this squash.

DDP came out during the chokeslam to go after Sara but Taker gets to him first. They fight into the crowd and back to the ring. Sara gets in some kicks as Taker gets a chair. Sara stomps some more and Page pulls her into the way of the chair shot and Taker is distraught.

Post break Taker won’t let Sara get medical attention. Page leaves in a car after talking about how much seeing her in pain turned him on.

Chris Jericho vs. Kanyon

Jericho makes fun of Who Better Than Kanyon pre match. The brawl starts on the floor and Jericho is sent into the ring ribs/back first. Once in the ring Jericho takes over with chops in the corner. Three Amigos get two for Chris. Kanyon grabs a sitout Alabama Slam for two. Off to a chinlock which Jericho quickly breaks. A middle rope Fameasser gets two. Kanyon loads up a superplex but Jericho knocks him down and hits a missile dropkick to put them both down. Bulldog sets up the Lionsault but it eats knees. Flatliner gets two. Kanyon tries an enziguri but Chris ducks and holds the leg for the Walls and the tap.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here as again it works well when you give talented guys time. Funny how that works isn’t it? Still though, Kanyon was usually smooth in the ring and he was here, making for a good guy to compliment Jericho’s high flying stuff. This was one of the better Raw matches in awhile.

Here’s Vince for some chatting. He congratulates the Alliance for their win last night. He thinks the WWF will win the war without Austin. Losing Austin was an atomic bomb but Vince has a bomb of his own: he’s reinstating The Rock. That doesn’t mean he’ll come back though, so Vince says some catchphrases and begs Rock.

Angle asks Vince to be leader again and gets about the same response as last week. Vince does say actions speak louder than words. Angle shoves Vince against the wall and says you’ll get action.

Big Show and Billy Gunn are at WWF New York. They list their accomplishments and then make fun of each other.

Torrie hits of Jeff and offers to spank him when Trish comes up and they brawl onto the table.

Torrie Wilson vs. Trish Stratus

Spanking match, meaning paddle on a pole. You win by spanking the other blonde. Neither girl has any clue what they’re doing in a ring so this is about what you would expect it to be. They do some really bad wrestling and Trish gets the paddle. Torrie runs from the paddle, dropkicks Trish, and spanks her to win. NEXT.

Shane fires up the Dudleys/Booker.

Dudley Boys/Booker T vs. Edge/Christian/Kurt Angle

Elimination tables match. For reasons that elude me, they have to tag. Angle vs. D-Von gets us going with Kurt running him over. Off to Christian who does about the same. Edge is sent to the floor and the Dudleys take over on him. Booker comes in and works over Edge but it’s back to Bubba quickly. Double flapjack plants Edge and there’s a table at ringside. It hasn’t been touched yet but it’s set up.

The middle rope backsplash misses for Bubba and Edge brings in Christian. Everything breaks down and the Canadians double suplex Bubba. Here’s a table set up by Edge/Christian but a low blow sets up the 3D to Christian through the table to get it down to 3-2. Edge takes the Dudleys down with a double flying clothesline. Booker and Edge are in the ring now and it gets back to a normal tag structure.

Edge-O-Matic takes Booker down but Bubba comes in with a hot shot to take Edge right back down. Angle picks Bubba off and they head to the floor. Back in the ring, Booker slams Edge through the table to make it Angle vs. all three. Angle gets caught in the 3-1 beating and it looks bleak for him. What’s Up to Angle and Bubba wants a table. Booker sets up the table and tries to suplex Kurt through it but Kurt hooks one of his own.

The Dudleys come in and Bubba is thrown outside. D-Von goes out as well and Kurt follows. D-Von charges at Kurt but gets suplexed onto a table which doesn’t break. Angle puts up a fresh one and suplexes D-Von through that one. That’s just not nice. Back in Booker hits the ax kick and spins up. Kurt grabs an Angle Slam out of nowhere onto the table but that one doesn’t break either. Man they’re using the good ones tonight.

The table is set in the corner and Booker is whipped through it. Bubba takes him down and there goes the referee. Nick Patrick comes out and moves a table that Angle was about to Angle Slam Bubba through. Kurt destroys him and puts the ankle lock on Patrick on the table but here’s Austin. He Stuns Angle and Bubba powerbombs him through the table to end this.

Rating: C. What’s the right word for this? Oh I know: stupid. There were two bad ideas in this match. First and foremost, Bubba Ray Dudley gets the win? Second, the idea here should have been to set up Angle vs. Booker because Booker couldn’t beat Angle on his own, resulting in Angle getting a title shot. How do I know that? BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THEY DID! On Smackdown Angle wins the title, which makes this a really stupid ending. Also, better make sure Angle doesn’t get too popular. He’s a second tier guy remember, and we wouldn’t want a second tier guy becoming a star. Man kind of a crazy idea isn’t it?
The WWF guys chase Austin off.

Overall Rating: B-. This show was good but it could never put together a long streak of greatness that it was capable of. The ending again is pretty stupid, but other than that there’s little that was bad. The Invasion is getting a lot better lately and with Rock coming back, things would be looking up. Naturally, that’s not how things went but that’s WWF for you.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 16, 2001
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole

This is the go home show for Invasion and the idea is that Team WWF has no real leader. Vince begged with Austin to be the old Stone Cole instead of the hilarious one he’s been lately. The Alliance has officially been formed and we’re getting ready for the Inaugural Brawl on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Smackdown with Vince asking Austin to be the old Stone Cole again. He begged Austin to beat him up but Austin shook his head no, walked up the ramp, and left. Vince yelled back at Austin to come back and stun him, ala Shane (the movie, not the kid).

Austin is at the Friendly Tap here in Providence instead of at the arena.

Taker/Kane vs. Page/Rhyno is the main event.

Here’s Spike on crutches to open the show with a major announcement. He’s got something that’s been building in him for awhile and would like Molly to come out here. The announcement is that he loves her. She loves him too. Spike gives her a rose and Molly says she has something for him too but she can’t give it to him here. Spike: “Ladies and gentlemen, thank you and good night!”

Cue Heyman to interrupt the live sex celebration. Heyman says Spike needs to join ECW before this gets insane. Go to the penthouse suite and take care of things with Molly then come to the ECW offices. ECW has offices? Spike declines and says he’s staying with Molly. There’s a place in ECW for Molly too. It’ll only take some liposuction and breast implants.

Spike defends Molly but the Dudleys come out to stop that. Bubba says Spike cost them the tag belts and accuses him of stealing their spotlight. People should be talking about ECW but they’re talking about Spike and Molly. D-Von jumps him and tie him in the ropes. Molly tries to fight back but winds up going through a table.

Angle is practicing his speech to Vince to offer his services as leader of Team WWF on Sunday. Vince comes in and Angle mentions that Austin is at the Friendly Tap. He pitches his idea of leading Team WWF and Vince doesn’t even acknowledge it.

Farrooq vs. Chuck Palumbo

Cole is already screwing things up as he says this is a tag match. O’Haire and Bradshaw are here and these four are the WCW and WWF tag champions. Palumbo charges into the ring and takes over to start but Farrooq pounds him down. The tag teams will meet on Sunday at Invasion in a non-title match. A dropkick puts Farrooq on the floor and Palumbo adds a baseball slide. O’Haire gets involved and eats some steps due to Bradshaw. DDT gets two for Palumbo. Farrooq hits a spinebuster but O’Haire distracts him, allowing the superkick from Palumbo to get the pin. That might be the first Alliance win that was almost clean.

Angle complains to Steve Lombardi that he should be the leader. He calls him Bomber to be funny. Kurt: “I can be extreme. I drank milk the day after it expired once.” Raven comes in and says Kurt isn’t extreme. Angle says Raven isn’t missed so Raven does some of his poetry. Angle asks what most people ask when they hear a Raven promo: what are you talking about? Anyway it’s Raven vs. Angle later, ECW rules. Angle: “WWF rules pal!” Angle was awesome in this role.

Mike Awesome vs. Edge

Before the match, Storm issues a challenge for Invasion between the two of them vs. Edge/Christian. Storm will have no more of these offbeat shenanigans! Five points for working shenanigans in. Here are the Canadians and Christian says Holy Jurassic Park, we’ve actually found a living, breathing Reekasaurus Rex. The tag match is made and offbeat shenanigans RULE!

Awesome controls to start and splashes him into the corner. Edge comes back with a clothesline and neckbreaker for two. Awesome takes it to the floor and rams Edge into the apron. Back in Edge gets his knees up and fires off some dropkicks. Awesome Bomb is countered into the Buzzkiller (Edgecution) but Storm puts the foot on the rope. Storm comes in and is easily dispatched. Christian brings in chairs for a Conchairto but as the referee gets rid of them, Storm superkicks Edge and Awesome gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Eh not bad but the Alliance guys still can’t get a clean win no matter what they do. This is the problem that they had for the entire run of the angle: there’s no reason to assume that the WWF was ever in any real danger because they never got beaten clean at all. Eventually someone competent would beat WCW/ECW (not yet called the Alliance actually) so why get worried?

On a related note, Cole says the WWF is 0-3 tonight. After two matches. I don’t even need to make fun of him anymore.

Stephanie, with her horrible braided hair, praises Booker for how awesome he is. Jericho comes in and makes Seinfeld references with Steph. He calls her a w**** so Booker gets in his face. They fight for the WCW Title tonight.

Regal fires up Tajiri for Regal’s match tonight with Tazz. Not sure how that works but whatever. Tajiri will be doing commentary. This should be good.

Stephanie talks to the other parts of the Triad of Terror (Shane/Heyman) about Booker’s match tonight. They announce Team Alliance for Sunday: Booker, DDP, Dudleys and Rhyno. So we have Booker, a tag team that lost to the APA, a guy that has gotten mauled by Undertaker every time it’s been fair, and a lackey to a tag team against the five best the WWF has to offer. SMELL THE BUYRATE!!!

Vince comes to the Friendly Tap, which appears to be totally empty other than Austin, Vince and Debra. He apologizes to Austin for what he asked on Thursday but he still needs Austin tonight. Austin keeps drinking and turns his back on Vince. Vince says he’s heading back tot he arena and hopes to see Austin there tonight.

Tazz vs. William Regal

Tajiri is on commentary. Apparently he did this on Smackdown as well. The brawl starts on the floor but heads inside quickly. Knee Trembler puts Tazz down but Tazz comes back with a suplex. This draws Tajiri into the ring for a showdown. Tajiri says wait and takes his shirt off to reveal an ECW one underneath. Regal is shocked…..and then Tajiri turns AGAIN, breaking Chyna’s record for time between turns. He kicks Tazz in the head and puts him in the Tarantula. That makes ECWCW 3-0 tonight, or 17-0 if you’re Michael Cole. Good to see they didn’t do the face turn at the PPV or anything like that. We HAD to do it immediately.

DDP gives Rhyno a Best of Sara tape for the Alliance to watch.

Tim White talks to Austin and says he closed the whole bar for him today. That explains a few things. White says he knows Austin will make the right decision.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Chris Jericho

JR calls Booker a sellout. How is he a sellout exactly? He’s working for the company that made him famous. Feeling out process to start and the springboard dropkick sends Booker to the outside. Baseball slide sends Booker flying and they fight on the floor a bit. Back in a top rope cross body gets two for Chris. Booker comes back with the spinwheel kick as the announcers talk about how much they need Austin.

Jericho comes back with something kind of like a spear to set up the Walls but Shane comes up for the distraction. Booker superkicks the Canadian for two. Alabama Slam (called a powerbomb by Cole) gets two. Booker hooks a chinlock but Jericho quickly breaks it and hits a flapjack to put everyone down. Jericho chops away and a middle rope dropkick gets two. It should be three but Nick Patrick’s shoulder is bothering him.

Jericho tries the Lionsault but Booker rolls away. Chris lands on his feet and avoids the axe kick. There are the Walls and Booker taps but Nick Patrick has a knee injury this time. Earl Hebner comes in and decks Patrick. He sees the tap and goes to call for the bell but Shane hits him. The distraction lets Booker get a fast rollup with a fast count from Patrick to keep the belt in WCW.

Rating: B-. Fun match but again the ending hurts it. Jericho and Booker should be out there having 20 minute wars instead of these things to build up to a referees’ match on Sunday. That might be interesting though so we can’t have that. Anyway, good match between talented people so there’s no surprise here.

Heyman talks to Saturn in the back and offers him a spot in the Alliance. Saturn says Snausages.

Raven vs. Kurt Angle

This is under ECW Rules, meaning street fight/hardcore. Angle spears him down immediately to make him drop whatever Raven has in his hand. Kurt hits him with the medals. That’s a new one. Raven comes back with a drop toehold onto a trashcan (doesn’t dent) for two. Angle pounds him down and rips Raven’s shirt off to choke him. Sign to the head sets up a trashcan to the head and a few to the back. Raven counters into the clothesline and bulldog out of the corner (basically stolen by Punk) but Kurt breaks it with ease. Angle Slam and Ankle Lock end this. Total squash.

Angle destroys Raven post match with various evil submissions until Justin Credible, Kanyon and some other guy run out. They get cleared out without landing a single punch by a chair from Kurt. The one major bright spot in this story: it made Angle look like a STAR.

Austin shoots pool.

Hardy Boys vs. Dudley Boys

Welcome to a game of HOW MANY TIMES CAN THESE TEAMS POSSIBLY FIGHT???? Matt is European Champion and Jeff is Hardcore Champion. Trish (dating Jeff I think) and Lita stay in the back, prompting a WE WANT LITA chant. Matt and D-Von start us off with Matt keeping control. Jeff comes in and gets taken down very quickly by the other brothers.

Bubba gets two off an elbow drop. Double flapjack puts Jeff down and it’s D-Von again. Matt offers a quick distraction so Jeff can punch Ray in the balls. It allows the hot tag to Matt and everything breaks down. Twist/Swanton combo gets two on D-Von as Ray saves. Matt tries a sunset flip but RVD comes in and holds D-Von’s arms as he goes down for the pin on Matt.

Rating: C-. Picture any Hardys vs. Dudleys match. This one wasn’t as good as whichever one you picked. In short, this feud has been PLAYED. They had the same three teams feuding in some combination or the other for over a year and a half. The same thing happened in the main event with HHH, Rock and Austin dominating everything for almost two years. People got tired of it which is why things died off.

Five Star to Jeff.

The APA isn’t happy and Vince wants to know what they’re going to do about it. Vince says that since Austin won’t be here, the rest of them have to.

Shane and Stephanie say that they’ve sold their stock to finance the Invasion. Therefore, DON’T SCREW UP. Heyman gives his usual speech which fires people up.

The APA, Taker and Vince give a speech to the WWF C Team. Taker says screw Austin so let’s do it ourselves. Angle is in there too so it’s not totally the C Team. They actually wheel in FREDDIE BLASSIE to give them a big pep talk. Does anyone actually buy that it’s this serious of a threat from a bunch of WCW jobbers and 1-2 big names?

Austin watches from the bar and leaves.

Trish Stratus vs. Terri

Terri slaps her to start but can’t handle walking so Trish giant swings her. I’m sure this match is happening for competition rather than to see Terri in a skin colored bikini right? A bulldog by Trish ends this if you’re curious.

Trish goes to strip her post match when Stacy and Torrie run in. Lita makes the save.

Diamond Dallas Page/Rhyno vs. Undertaker/Kane

The Brothers clear the ring early on. Kane and Rhyno officially get us going and the horny one takes a powerslam. This is one of those matches where everyone hits high power and high impact stuff from the bell. Taker comes in to knock Rhyno around a lot. Old School sends Rhyno to the floor and it breaks down even more. The Brothers beat on them even more and here are the Dudleys. I’m not going to bother rating it because it was far more of a brawl than a match.

Team ECWCW beats on them until Team WWF plus a bunch of guys come out. It turns into a huge battle royal and there’s another part in the parking lot. Austin is here! He beats up everyone with the pool cue but doesn’t touch the WWF guys. The ECWCW guys start to clear the ring but CUE GLASS SHATTER! Austin walks in and he clears house. He hits about ten Stunners and the Brothers are up again.

Shane and Stephanie find Blassie in the back and tell him he’ll be dead soon, just like the WWF. Gee, nice of you guys to end the show with THAT instead of Austin standing tall.

Overall Rating: D+. Where do I even begin? First and foremost, WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I WANT TO BUY INVASION NOW??? Austin and Team WWF just destroyed Team WCW plus about ten other guys like it was nothing. We’re led to believe that the WWF is unbeatable which is saying a lot considering they’re outnumbered in this.

This is the Invasion in a nutshell: the WWF looks awesome, the Alliance can’t do jack, so they pick off some WWF guys who can fight for them. With what was available, why in the world would you do this? Heaven forbid that WCW looks even slightly better than WWF for 5 seconds. We can’t have that. I mean, it might make us a billion dollars.

Here’s Invasion if you’re interested:

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Invasion
Date: July 22, 2001
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,964
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross

So this is easily the most requested show since I’ve stated doing the reviews so I might as well get it out of the way. This is the infamous INVASION of the WCW/ECW Alliance. Since I’ve already explained my thoughts on the Invasion as a whole in the Survivor Series 2001 review the talking about it here is going to be somewhat limited but I’m sure I’ll have something to go on and on about in here somewhere.

The main event is the Inaugural Brawl, which is just a big ten man tag. Other than that the card is relatively boring other than Hardy vs. Van Dam for the Hardcore Title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Roosevelt and the Nazis and Japanese Army. ARE YOU SERIOUS? Ok, I know Vince likes things big, but this is ridiculous. The logo for the show is this weird hybrid of Shane and Vince’s faces. It’s kind of cool but more creepy.

Mike Awesome/Lance Storm vs. Edge and Christian

Hmm I wonder who is winning here. Edge and Christian’s music cuts Storm off. That’s rather amusing. I’ve always liked Storm so that has something to do with it. Edge is the reigning KOTR at the moment if that means anything to anyone. Christian and Awesome start us off. Storm vs. either of the faces could be most interesting. Edge gets down and Christian goes for a dive over the ropes. He slips though and nearly has a very bad fall.

Odd hearing WWF fans say YOU F’D UP. Awesome sans mullet is odd looking to put it mildly. Christian is getting beaten down for the most part here as you would expect. Why you would expect that I’m not sure but it sounded right in my head. Cole is really new at this whole commentary thing at this point and it shows badly. Edge gets the tag and takes out various heels. Edge rams Storm into Christian which would mean something in a few weeks/months.

The rollup only gets two though and we slow down for a bit. The crowd is hot here as they tend to be in Cleveland. Pretty decent tag match here. Awesome sets Edge for a powerbomb but Christian spears Awesome so that Edge falls on top for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: B. Very good choice for an opener here as both teams were trying out there and it showed very well. Edge was getting hot around this time and it would have been a world title reign had a few things gone right. This was fun though and a great opener.

Vince is happy. Regal, in a collared WWF shirt and tights, says Austin is here. He gets Raven later. Well that’s an odd combination if there has ever been one.

We recap the feud between the referees. Yeah it was bad. It results in this.

Earl Hebner vs. Nick Patrick

Of all people, Mick Foley is the referee here. Yeah I don’t get it either but whatever. He’s wearing a Marvel t-shirt so I can’t complain at all. Nick comes out with an army of referees which is just funny looking. Earl does the same. It looks like the world’s weakest gang. Oh and they’re in refereeing gear.

Take a wild guess as to the quality of the work here. Do I need to offer commentary on this one? It’s a glorified lumberjack match. Foley throws out the WCW referees. Earl hits something resembling a spear for the win. Patrick gets in Foley’s face and guess what happens. I think you know the drill.

Rating: N/A. I’m not grading two non-wrestlers like I would grade regular wrestlers.

We recap Debra getting abducted on Smackdown. Debra complains about it. She makes Stephanie look like a great actress. Taker’s wife Sara isn’t much better. She’s attractive though.

We recap the APA vs. Palumbo and O’Haire. It’s tag champions vs. tag champions. Basically the APA called for the WWF locker room to join forces to fight in the war. The WCW Champions jumped them at WWF New York.

APA vs. Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo

No titles on the line here, despite them both being champions of some sort. Dang O’Haire had the look down to a science. So did Palumbo. We get a mention of Kevin Nash. He and DDP were the guys O’Haire and Palumbo beat. Teddy Long informs them they have seven minutes. Oddly enough Farrooq was managed by Long back in the day.

Oddly enough this is a pretty back and forth match. Bradshaw busts out a DDT of all things. Never seen him use that I don’t think. Farrooq gets a standing switch. This is FREAKY. Oddly enough this is pretty back and forth with no one really dominating at all. The Clothesline From JBL ends it. This never got off the ground at all.

Rating: D. Just boring here. You could clearly see there was very little thought put into the matches here. These two teams just were kind of there. It’s not bad I guess, but this could have been on Superstars or something like that. Pretty weak.

Vince is with Jericho in the back and says Vince is the difference between ECW/WCW and WWF. He’s exactly right actually. Oh and Heyman sucks.

Stephanie hates Jericho. WOW her acting reaches new levels of suck. Heyman is sitting in the back and then goes off on Billy Kidman, saying he has to win this next match.

X-Pac vs. Billy Kidman

It’s champion vs. champion again. This is in the X-Factor era. Yeah no one cares AT ALL. Kidman’s music was rather groovy. Pac is total heel here but he’s the face because of the company he’s in. Waltman should be good here though as he’s always good against smaller guys. Scratch that about Waltman being the face. They still hate him. I’ve always liked Cleveland.

Apparently you don’t want to be the first to lose. Dang I thought you always wanted to lose. What was I thinking? They got close to the WCW/NWO issue with the announcers being completely idiotic looking by saying one group was the crowd favorite when they were being booed out of the building. They pick it up a bit with some nice high impact stuff. Pac catches a diving Kidman coming off the top in an X-Factor.

That looked pretty stupid, but I’d think that’s because it’s the stupid X Factor. Bronco Buster is blocked with a boot to the balls. I love alliteration. That sets up the Shooting Star Press for the pin. According to Ross, the Bronco Buster is a high risk move.

Rating: C+. Not bad but not great at all. The most interesting thing here was the crowd. The match itself is ok but not bad. Pac was always at his best against small guys and he was far less annoying here. Nothing great but the SSP is always sweet.

DDP babbles about nothing.

Torrie and Stacy try to sound sexy and just fail. They like the Hardys apparently.

William Regal vs. Raven

We get a brief history of Raven’s career, minus Johnny Polo that is which might be his best gimmick. It’s a slugfest to start which Regal is good at. He was very physical around this time and it always came off rather well. His feud with Jericho was a highlight of his career to me. All Regal so far. That forearm to the face that he uses for a cover is great. We get a slingshot as I wonder what the point of this was.

The fans think this is boring and I can’t really say that I disagree. It’s not bad, but this is as basic as you could imagine. They look like they’re both rookies who know very few moves at this point. It’s more or less all punches and clotheslines. They’re crisp and such, but this just isn’t that interesting. You know what it reminds me of? An old SNES wrestling game where you have like 5 moves and everyone has the same set no matter what their size is.

The boring chant is really loud now. You can tell there is no story here at all. Raven gets thrown to the floor and for zero explained reason, Taz runs out and hits a suplex on Regal to allow Raven to hit the DDT for the pin.

Rating: D-. Just like I said before, this was just boring. I have no idea what the point was here but this didn’t come off well. It was just a wrestling match, but with this being a PPV, this wasn’t acceptable for me.

Taker and Kane get a pep talk from Vince. Taker doesn’t like Vince talking about his wife.

Billy Gunn/Albert/Big Show vs. Kanyou/Hugh Morrus/Shawn Stasiak

Again, what in the freaking world is the thought process on this show? It makes no sense at all. This was made on Heat. Oh and Albert is IC Champion here. He’s still in X-Factor and the song is still awesome. Stasiak is using Mr. Perfect’s gimmick, down to the music. It was idiotic. In a cool spot we get a triple press slam from the WWF guys. Gunn and Kanyon start us off. This was Billy Gunn push #2837G.

Kanyon does an odd combination from a Russian legsweep into a Stroke. Nicely done. We get the traditional melee and Albert hits a bicycle (Pump kick that Sheamus uses) kick to Shawn and by hits I mean misses Shawn completely but has it sold anyway. This is pretty much all Albert.

Fameasser hits on Morrus. For you newer fans, Morrus is more commonly known as Bill Demott. Stasiak hits a reverse DDT so Morrus can get the pin. This was a MESS. Show hits chokeslams all around post match. Show debuts the Alley-Oop which he should do more often as it looked pretty cool.

Rating: F+. Just horrid here and I have even less clue what the booking here was supposed to be. This was a weird choice to say the least and I guess it was to showcase the WWF guys but it came off like a bunch of jobbers beat them. Made no sense.

Shane talks to Booker and says the Alliance (not named that yet but close enough) is up 4-3 because of Chavo beating Scotty on Heat. That answered a LOT of questions actually as no one got how later in the Alliance said they had an extra win. I was at a friend’s house watching this and we spent 40 minutes after the show trying to figure it out. We had lists of matches and charts etc going and NO ONE got it. Yeah I’m just killing time now.

Regal fires Tajiri up.

Taz vs. Tajiri

This was the ECW Title match at I think Heat Wave 99 and it was a glorified squash. Apparently Tajiri is popular for staying in the WWF. Ok then. Hey they actually mentioned the Heat Wave match! Sweet I’m not insane. Taz hooks a bunch of suplexes and submissions, which makes me think instantly that Tajiri will win. In at least the last two matches and maybe more, the guy or guys that dominate early loses in the end.

Handspring elbow gets a BIG pop. Didn’t see that one coming. We hit the floor for all of 5 seconds and I’m bored out of my mind. The Tarantula helps that a bit. Tajiri kicks the heck out of Taz for a LONG two. Those kicks are LOUD too. Just as it’s getting good, the mist hits as does a kick for the pin.

Rating: D+. This got really good for like 30 seconds. Other than that though it just wasn’t interesting at all. Again, I don’t get the point in these 5-6 minute matches with zero point to them at all. Could have been a lot worse though.

Jeff and Matt talk about Jeff’s match with Van Dam. Van Dam pops up and cracks the HECK out of Matt with a chair. That sounded great.

Hardcore Holly is at WWF New York and gets on a plant for wearing a WCW shirt.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Why all the TNA on TNA violence? RVD’s outfit is tiger print of all things tonight. He looks like Tony the Tiger in spandex. This should be fun. Hardy isn’t a huge deal yet but he’s in the midcard. Van Dam is WAY over. Crowd is red hot for this as it was more or less the second featured match on the card. Hardy goes for his run the rail spot and Van Dam makes the stop by jumping up on it to stop him. Nice.

Into the crowd now. This is totally sloppy and totally a mess but since it’s a hardcore match, it’s working rather well actually. The crowd is helping it a lot also. Van Dam takes a bow which is a very nice touch. With Van Dam on the apron, Hardy slingshots over the ropes into a powerbomb to the floor. Sweet looking spot and it’s ladder time. This had to happen. In another sick spot, Hardy is on the top of the ladder, and I mean the big one, and is pushed off and crashes to the floor.

This was what gave us the “How do you learn to fall off a 20ft ladder” soundbyte. In another, say it with me, sick spot, Van Dam is crouched but jumps into the air for a Van Daminator that looked GREAT. It knocked Hardy through the hole into the stage to the floor. We’ve reached the part where it’s just them beating the living crap out of each other and the fan are flat out eating it up.

The belt is in the ring as Hardy gets a nice German Suplex. Jeff is bleeding a bit. Swanton misses. With Jeff down, Van Dam puts the belt on Hardy’s chest and hits the 5 Star for the pin. Fun match.

Rating: B+. This is a great example of a match where you have to consider what was going on out there. This wasn’t meant to be a mat clinic or anything. This was about high impact, high intensity over the top spots and that’s what the fans got. This was fun and the crowd loved it. Great match.

Angle is annoyed for some reason. He says he’ll take care of business tonight.

We actually have a video package about the bra and panties tag match. Seriously? Short version: Trish and Lita hate each other because of them trying to steal the Hardys from each other. Torrie and Stacy do the same thing. Yeah let’s just get to it. See, the thing they never could get around was that Torrie and Stacy had no talent other than looking good. Trish and Lita at least could fight.

Torrie Wilson/Stacy Keibler vs. Lita/Trish Stratus

Mick Foley appoints himself guest referee here again. This was smart if nothing else as it gave a person people actually care about to the match. Torrie and Stacy have weird entrance music. Lita was a legit big deal at the time and was the biggest women’s star more or less since Sable and Sunny. Seriously do you want commentary here? Trish was getting better every day at this point but still wasn’t that good yet.

Stacy gets her top ripped off. Lita has the same done. Trish vs. Torrie now and Trish loses her shirt somewhere. There goes all of Torrie’s clothes. Stacy gets her pants ripped off to end it. Mick picks up the clothes after the match which is funny.

Rating: N/A. Not a wrestling match, so there you go.

Stephanie gives the pep talk. That’s amusing. Heyman takes over which is a major upgrade.

Austin is acting like himself.

We recap this, which started with Shane buying WCW. They finally switched the roles as a face had WCW and a heel had WWF. Then one night Vince said he was tired of this so he said let’s have a match. The five guys he picked were ECW guys, you get the rest. Dreamer and Van Dam debuted that night. Austin had been an idiot since he turned heel so he started being the old Austin again.

More or less he kept saying he wouldn’t be his old self until he said he’d do it. No big moment of clarity or anything. He just changed his mind. Yeah there wasn’t much of a story other than they don’t like each other, but did there need to be? Oh and DDP stalked Taker’s wife. Stephanie being revealed as the ECW owner is one of my favorite moments ever. Oh and Freddie freaking Blassie showed up for a pep talk.

Inaugural Brawl: Team WWF vs. Team WCW/ECW

WWF – Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Chris Jericho, Kane, Undertaker
WCW/ECW – Booker T, Diamond Dallas Page, Rhyno, Dudley Boys

All three Alliance bosses get entrances. Now Vince gets an entrance. It’s been over 12 minutes since the last match ended and we’re not even to the wrestlers’ entrances yet. So yeah for you trivia buffs, this is the other non-ECW PPV that the Dudley Boys main evented. Kane and Taker were still kind of tag partners at this point but not really. So apparently Taker and Kane are balanced out by the Dudley Boyz? Ok then.

Oh and this is just a ten man tag. No special rules or anything like that. And pay no attention to the fact that both Taker and Kane (albeit as a jobber) used to work for WCW. Rhyno makes it the third ECW guy in a row. Talk about a push that died after this. Next is Jericho, who is about as opposite of Rhyno after this show as you could ask of anyone. Stephanie and Jericho was one of the funniest feuds I can ever remember.

Booker is US and World Champion at this time but he would hand the US Title to Kanyon soon after this. This just feels entirely thrown together. Sting is mentioned on a WWF PPV for likely the only time ever. Stephanie dancing to Booker’s music is just hilarious. Angle gets a HUGE pop despite going the wrong way down the ramp.

The level he reached about two months from now was insane. DDP is apparently the biggest deal in the Alliance. Dang did they ever jump the gun here. The 9 mentioned start fighting in the aisle and we have Austin. Notice a certain one sidedness here?

Austin and Rhyno start us off. Austin hits a superplex off the top. Sweet goodness. Jericho gets a NICE pop for the tag. Booker, the only one of the WCW/ECW guys to get a legit push in WWF comes in. Angle gets another great pop. This was after the peak the company had a few months earlier, but it was still a huge deal. This evolves into your standard big time tag match with various people beating on each other with no one really controlling for a ton of time.

DDP hits a Stunner on the top rope on Taker to finally get something resembling control. Austin works on a wristlock on Booker. There’s something you don’t see everyday. We’ve been at this for about ten minutes now and there hasn’t been any long term control. There isn’t much to say here either though as it’s exactly what you would expect it to be. Heyman is awesome at being completely evil when he has to be.

Angle is in some trouble here and the Spinarooni hits. Page hits a spinning powerbomb on Angle which is one of my favorite moves. So after nearly 20 minutes we get to the traditional face in peril sequence of the match. We go old school with Austin getting the tag but the referee didn’t see it. I love things like that. Diamond Cutter on Angle and it gets NO reaction. Cole of course calls it a neck breaker while Ross, 10 seconds after it, says the name right.

And here is the brawl that you knew was coming. Rhyno hits the Gore on Booker and Taker finally gets his hands on DDP again. Chokeslam to Page. Booker and Austin fight on the floor while the WCW referee gets a Last Ride. Taker and DDP go into the crowd while Austin’s knee is messed up after going into the steps. Kane is fighting both Dudleys.

That’s how you can tell Taker is a bigger deal than Kane: when Taker did that, they got their own match. It’s table time. Kane hits a chokeslam through the announce table on D-Von. He got him UP there too. Rhyno and Bubba put Kane through the Spanish Announce Table. Good to see a tradition still alive. Jericho puts Rhyno through the table the Dudleyz set up. Booker and Angle are the only guys still conscious. Oh and Bubba also.

The referee is still looking at Austin’s knee. Yes I’m listing a lot of play by play but you have to here so you know what’s going on. Angle fights off Booker and Bubba with an ankle lock and the Angle Slam, back when it was a good finisher, respectively. And there goes the referee. Cue the finish. Vince grabs the WWF Title and throws it to Angle. Shane gets it though and down goes Vince.

It’s Booker vs. Angle now. Angle hits his pair of finishers on him, Austin throws the referee in, kicks Angle in the head, Stunner, pin, WCW/ECW wins. Austin turned heel again, shocking JR despite him having done the same thing TWO AND A HALF MONTHS EARLIER. Austin and the three Alliance leaders have beers to end the show.

Rating: B. This did something I didn’t think it did: it made the far weaker WCW/ECW team look legit. This was all about making WWF look like they were in danger and it did that. WWF never had the advantage in the whole match until the very end. WCW/ECW controlled this as they should have.

Austin turning heel had to be done given the totally rushed nature of this angle but that’s neither here nor there. The match wasn’t terrible either, so I’d say this was a success. Not a classic or anything, but a success.

Overall Rating: B-. Now think about this for a minute. Yes, most of the matches completely sucked. Actually all but like 3 did. However, this was based around the main event. I don’t recall any other matches other than the hardcore title one being advertised. Oh and Bra/Panties. Other than that, this show wasn’t up to a high quality in the ring because it didn’t need to be.

This was about two things: the main event, and making WCW/ECW look like a threat. Once the PPV ended, no one cared who won the matches or who was even in them. All that mattered was the Alliance won the night and the main event in particular. This definitely isn’t a show you would want to watch for the show itself, but the main thing here is that the huge angle got rolling.

Now to be fair, the angle bombed about as ten times as much as anyone on the planet could have asked it to, but no one knew that at the time. This should have been an angle that went on for at least a year or two, not five months. Anyway, if this was any other show, it would be a C- at best. However, this was a historical show, and as a stand alone show I thought it was successful. On a long term basis though, bad. Like, really bad. Other than for historical issues though, I wouldn’t sit through it.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 9, 2001
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

We’re in WCW territory tonight and this is one of my all time favorite Raws, if not my favorite ever period. We’ll get to why later, but I remember watching this and absolutely losing it, which doesn’t happen often. Anyway, this absolutely has to be better than last week’s show. Also tonight, we get our first taste of an official WCW vs. WWF match. Let’s get to it.

We open with a rematch from Smackdown where they actually did ANOTHER WCW Title match with Booker facing Page. Angle came in again but Booker escaped the Angle Slam and beat Angle down. Taker and Page fought to the back and about 6 guys beat Taker down. Shane called them off, so Page beat up Shane and Booker.

Tonight it’s Taker vs. Storm/Awesome. That would be changed.

Shane McMahon vs. Diamond Dallas Page

This is a street fight. And never mind because Undertaker comes out instead of Page. Taker says tonight Page is his. Shane is ok with this so here’s Page.

Undertaker vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page starts fast and pounds Taker in the corner but Taker counters that easily and beats on Page. Here come the chokeslam but Shane turns on Taker (was he with him in the first place?) and saves DDP. This was like a minute long.

Taker fights on the kendo stick shots and fires away on Shane in the corner. Page saves Shane with a chair and Taker is double teamed. Sara comes in with a kendo stick and gets in some shots on Shane but walks into a Diamond Cutter to kill her dead. She gets taken out on a stretcher. What does it say when Sara is better at taking a Diamond Cutter than Kane does?

DDP steals Taker’s motorcycle and Shane gives him the night off.

Taker promises Sara he’ll get Page.

Tag Titles: APA vs. Dudley Boys

Apparently Spike is going to be out for awhile with a broken leg. The APA clears the ring to start and we get down to Bubba vs. Farrooq. Off to Bradshaw as the Dudleys take over. The reverse 3D gets two. D-Von pounds on him and it’s off to Bubba. He goes to the corner for the ten punches but gets powerbombed out and both guys are down. Off to Farrooq and D-Von with Simmons getting a spinebuster for two. 3D doesn’t work but What’s Up does to Farrooq. Bubba goes for a table but Spike comes out, hits Bubba with the crutch and throws him in where Bradshaw’s Clothesline gives the APA their third tag title.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match but I guess the idea here is that if the APA is leading the WWF’s army so give them something to make them seem important. That’s not a terrible idea actually and it’s better than another boring Hardys vs. Dudleys feud for the 7000th time. Not a terrible match and it did its job I guess.

Off to Austin and Vince with Austin repeating everything Vince says. Even the audience is laughing now which is a good thing. Angle comes in wearing a cowboy hat that Austin gave him on Thursday. Angle has presets for everyone except Debra of course. They’re big boxes but they have small sheriff badges in them. Angle’s is a lot bigger and golden to match his medal. Austin goes on a huge rant, quoting The Treasure of Sierra Madre to a nice pop. He calls Kurt a jackass and says that the hat was a joke. Austin tells Kurt to go beat up Booker T for the WCW Title.

Kane is just getting here.

Intercontinental Title: Rhyno vs. Albert

Slugout to start (I’m as shocked as you are) with Rhyno stomping the champ down into the corner. Pac runs in while Albert has the referee and superkicks Rhyno for two. Rhyno manages to get in a shot to buy himself some time and they slug it out for a bit. Belly to back suplex and a top rope splash combine for two. The Gore misses though and the Baldo Bomb is countered. Pac comes in and gets Gored. The distraction lets a bicycle kick keep the title on Albert.

Rating: D+. Back to back power matches probably isn’t a good idea but it wasn’t all that bad. Albert is a guy that was on the roll of his life at this point but soon enough he’d be just another guy in the Alliance war. Not much to see here but they were at least trying to make a new star with him as he beat up various power guys.

Angle goes to talk to Booker. He yells at Book and Mr. T. doesn’t seem that interested or upset by it. Angle challenges him and Booker agrees. Kurt says yippee kay yay Mother Hubbard. Good stuff and I had to listen twice.

Kane goes into Regal’s office so Tajiri hides behind the suit of armor. Regal says that Sara is ok but is being held for observations. Kane says he’ll take Taker’s place in the handicap match against Awesome and Storm.

Jeff Hardy vs. Big Show

Boy this would be a different match today. Show runs him over and we go outside. Here comes Trish and Show accidentally runs into the post. Jeff runs the rail to get in a shot and a missile dropkick puts Show down. Trish is cheering for Jeff. Jeff goes up again but jumps into a powerbomb position. Instead Show drops him back so he lands face first on the mat which is good for the pin. This was nothing again.

Trish kisses Jeff post match.

Kurt is getting ready for Booker and is bent over in front of Austin’s face which is kind of funny. Austin volunteers to be the leader of Team WWF at Invasion. Angle says if he wins the WCW Title, he should be leader. This turns into a discussion of Gilligan’s Island and who gets to be Skipper. Austin goes Bugs Bunny on him to get Angle to say that he (Angle) is Gilligan and Austin is Skipper.

Vince finally asks the question we’re all thinking: what does this have to do with the WCW Title or the Inaugural Brawl??? Speaking of which, Austin and Angle are both in it and Undertaker probably will be also. Jericho comes in to a big pop and says he’s WWF for live. He wants to be on Team WWF. Vince seems intrigued but Austin laughs him off.

Some Atlanta Falcons are here.

At Invasion, it’s Trish/Lita vs. Stacy/Torrie in a tag team bra and panties match.

Matt and Lita are at WWF New York. They don’t know if they can trust Trish but this is for the WWF and she can follow the Lita. Oh geez. They kiss to end this.

Shane fires Booker up.

Vince and Austin fire Kurt up. Austin repeats everything Vince says again. Angle says this is Atlanta and he won with no one in his corner in 1996 so he’ll go alone tonight.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Kurt Angle

Booker hammers him into the corner to start and hits a side kick. Kurt knocks him to the floor with a clothesline and Booker goes into the table. Booker sends him into the post and a missile dropkick gets two back in the ring. Back to the floor and Booker keeps control. Angle reverses an Irish whip back inside and a belly to back suplex slows Booker down but he comes back with a spinning kick for two.

Angle starts snapping off suplexes and a belly to belly looks to set up the Slam. Booker rolls out though and hits the scissors kick. The fans are against Booker now which is a good thing. Kurt charges and they ram heads. Booker gets the advantage and hits a spinebuster for two. Kurt grabs the ankle and there’s the ankle lock. Shane gets the referee so Booker’s tap doesn’t mean anything. Now the Slam hits and Earl Hebner runs in to count two. Now the referees fight and the distraction lets Booker get a belt shot. A seconds WCW referee runs in and Booker retains.

Rating: B-. This is the best match on Raw in weeks and it’s only just above average. Booker and Angle could do some good stuff together with some more time. Amazing what happens when you give two talented guys time and a face and heel combination to work with isn’t it? Good stuff and the referee fight was kind of funny.

Angle rants to Austin and Vince which makes Austin say he’s the leader at Invasion.

Torrie and Stacy say they’ll win at the PPV. Torrie bashes Vince and calls him a dirty old man.

The APA says they don’t want the titles like that and tell the Dudleys they can have another shot as soon as Smackdown. Right now though, cold beers on the APA. The Dudleys say not right now but ask them at the end of the night.

Kane vs. Lance Storm/Mike Awesome

I thought this match was earlier in the show. I guess not as we’re into the second hour. Before we get started though, here’s Jericho. He doesn’t say anything but comes in and we have a tag match.

Kane/Chris Jericho vs. Lance Storm/Mike Awesome

The 24/7 Rule has been waived until after Invasion. Why? Kane vs. Awesome starts us off with the bigger man taking over. Jericho comes in and chops away but gets caught by the power of Awesome (how was that never a t-shirt?). Off to Storm and the Thrillseekers get a nice reunion. Awesome hits a knee to the back and Storm clotheslines Jericho down to take over.

Storm comes in and misses a dropkick but he gets the knees up for the Lionsault. Awesome comes in and hooks a chinlock. Jericho fights back but jumps into a belly to belly for two. Back to Storm who stomps away. Was there a reason for him to stomp like that? He always had that little hop to it. Jericho gets an enziguri which is good for the hot tag.

Everything breaks down and Storm is sent to the floor. A powerslam puts Awesome down and there’s the top rope clothesline for two. A missile dropkick takes Storm down but Chris can’t get the Walls on Awesome. He does get them on Storm though, and I’m going to stop the match review there. Storm didn’t tap and the match is still going on, but the next part needs its own attention.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty decent formula tag match between Team Canada and Team Name That Has To Do With Kane And Jericho. Jericho and Storm always have great chemistry together and this was a fine example of it. Also, how in the world did both companies manage to screw up Mike Awesome? Let him be a mulletted killing machine. Why is that so hard?

Kane sets to chokeslam Awesome but Tommy Dreamer and Rob Van Dam jump the railing and it’s a 4-2 beatdown. Here come the Dudleys, Taz, Raven, Justin Credible and Rhyno. It’s a showdown but the six WWF guys that ran in all turn around and destroy Jericho and Kane. Jericho takes a Death Valley Driver and Kane gets a Van Daminator. The fans are loving this. JR asks Heyman what’s going on so Heyman says listen up.

Heyman gets into the ring with the Dudleys holding the ropes open for him. All of the guys celebrate and Heyman says here’s the truth. He’s been sitting there like a sellout for months and talking about WWF vs. WCW. It seems to him like these men were too extreme for WWF vs. WCW so it seems like Storm and Awesome have left WCW. The other six have left WWF and they all have joined ECW. Heyman says either Vince or Shane can come get some at any time. This Invasion has been taken to the EXTREME. When I saw this, my jaw dropped.

After a break, JR turns into Eric Bischoff and wonders how long he’s had this planned.

Shane and Vince bump into each other and Shane is kind of panicking, saying that their guys should team up for tonight only to crush ECW before it spreads. A twenty man tag is set for later.

Light Heavyweight Title: Scotty 2 Hotty vs. X-Pac

This is what we call a filler. Pac is defending and they speed things up to start. Scotty dances around a lot and works on the arm. They go to the floor and Scotty misses a dive. Pac stays on offense for about twenty seconds and Scotty comes back and hits a superkick for two. X-Factor is countered but Pac avoids the Worm. Scotty tries a sunset flip but Pac grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: D+. Scotty was actually pretty entertaining around this time when he dropped the whole dancing and Cool aspect of his personality. X-Pac on the other hand was just kind of there and doing his own thing which no one really wanted to see. Nothing to see here and all they were doing was filling time.

Vince and Shane try to fire up their boys but can’t get along. Shane is officially put in charge and the agreement is that once ECW is gone, all bets are off. WCW leaves and Vince says ignore Shane and just do it.

Team WWF/WCW vs. Team ECW

It’s the 10 ECW guys listed earlier for their side. WWF is Big Show/Billy Gunn/Hardcore Holly/APA and WCW is Jindrak/Stasiak/O’Haire/Palumbo/Kanyon. WWF and WCW get in a fight before the ECW guys even get here. WCW is sent to the floor and here comes ECW. The ECW guys fight the WWF team and WCW stays on the floor. ECW clears the ring and calls out the WCW guys. And they all hug, officially forming the Alliance. No match obviously.

Vince comes out and wants to know what’s going on. Shane says watch the WWF guys get destroyed. Each one is thrown in and takes various finishing moves (including an F5 to Bradshaw from O’Haire). Shane says he can’t outspend Vince but he can outsmart him. Vince told Shane he was personally responsible for what happens out here and that’s true.

He’s responsible for ECW being here tonight and for the merger of WCW and ECW. Vince’s jaw is further into the Earth’s crust with every word. At Invasion, it’s the two companies against WWF. Oh, and here’s the new owner of ECW: Daddy’s Little Girl, Stephanie McMahon. The place ERUPTS at that. Vince’s eyes roll back in his head and here’s Stephanie, looking drop dead gorgeous in a pink dress. I think that’s why I loved this show when I was 13. Shane and Stephanie pose to end the show. Now THAT is how you end a TV show.

Overall Rating: B. This show depends on what you’re looking for. If it’s wrestling, you’ll probably be a bit disappointed. If you’re in it for drama and something that makes you want to watch next week, this is the show for you! When I was a kid this was an awesome moment and I loved it, but unfortunately it didn’t quite live up to the hype. Still though, I was glued to the screen on Thursday and Monday for awhile, which is the idea. Good stuff here.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 2, 2001
Location: Tacoma Dome, Tacoma, Washington
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Back to 2001 and we’re on the road to Fully Loaded, but that name isn’t going to stick. This show is famous for one reason: it’s the show where there’s a WCW segment, in that Booker T defends the WCW Championship against Buff Bagwell. It’s also known as the segment that basically killed the original Invasion plans. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Invasion. On Smackdown, the whole Fully Loaded PPV has been changed to Invasion and will be WCW vs. WWF. This is set to Rey Mysterio’s WCW music.

Theme song.

Vince talks about how everything here is leading up to July 22. WCW is going to die at the Invasion. How can you compare the two companies? It’s like comparing Washington state to Washington DC. The nation’s decisions are made in DC and here, all you have are apples. But if you insist, let’s compare Booker T to Austin. Booker is a sneak, Austin is a man among men.

Cue….Angle? Kurt says he had to come out here because Vince’s words inspired him. Not only does Booker lack integrity, he also lacks intelligence and intensity. Kurt shows clips of Booker outsmarting Austin and beating him up. Booker did it on Smackdown also, which Kurt says made Austin look like a jackass. Here’s Austin with a rebuttal. Angle promises that he’ll protect Austin from Booker. Austin says that’ll be hard with Austin’s boot in him.

Austin thinks the problem is Kurt Angle. He and Vince don’t need him and Angle is getting in between their partnership. Austin calls Angle a jackass. “No I’m a hero!” “Jackass.” “Hero!” This goes on for a few moments until Vince tells them to just fight. Angle is ready to go and then Austin hugs Vince. Austin and Angle shove each other and here’s Shane. “So let me get this straight. We have the WWF Champion and an Olympic gold medalist competing for hugs?”

Shane says tonight it’s about the Invasion and about Invasion, how about an Inaugural Brawl, as in a massive tag match. Shane somehow has the power to make the main event on the show tonight, so he makes Booker vs. Buff.

The APA are watching a clip of Shane running away last week. They want to know who let them in and who Shane was talking to on the phone. They think there’s a mole in the yard.

Intercontinental Title: Albert vs. Undertaker

Uh….sure. I mean the match makes sense, but Undertaker challenging for the IC Title? Page cost Kane the title on Smackdown with the worst Diamond Cutter I can ever remember. I watched the clip and though it was Austin stunning him. They slug it out to start (shocking) but a charging Taker is caught in the corner for a bearhug. A bicycle kick puts Taker down but he comes back with the clothesline and chokeslam but Page runs in with a chair shot to draw the DQ.

Rating: D. This was nothing and very boring while it lasted. Page running in might as well have been on a big sign because it was very clear that was the ending after they showed the clip from Smackdown. Taker was really getting bad at this point and would get even worse for the next year or so.

Page Diamond Cuts him post match and leaves, but Sara goes after him. Kane sneaks up on DDP and the beating begins. He throws Page in to Taker but Albert saves. Page runs and Kane knocks Albert to the floor.

Torrie Wilson debuts on Raw. She was on Smackdown so this isn’t her full on debut. She’s looking for Vince, which probably explains why she debuted in a bra.

Crash vs. Molly Holly

Jackie is with crash to annoy me. Molly starts with ranas and a victory roll for two. Jackie tries her up because she has to annoy people every now and then. Crash suplexes Molly when Spike gets up for a distraction. Jackie puts Molly on the top but Molly hits a quick Molly Go Round for the pin. Too short to rate but all things considered it wasn’t bad.

Jackie beats up Crash for no apparent reason.

Vince, Austin, Angle and Debra are in the back. Angle and Austin almost get into it again when Torrie comes in. Kurt tries to hit on her but Vince is like down boy. She wants to talk to Vince in private. Austin needs a hug before Vince leaves. This is hilarious. Austin and Angle get in an argument over why Vince left. They determine it was Debra’s fault and Austin agrees.

We get a video from Smackdown where O’Haire and Palumbo interfered and were destroyed as a punishment.

Christian is looking at the KOTR trophy and talks about how he could have won if the brackets had switched. Edge is still uncomfortable but Christian has a Light Heavyweight Title match so he has to go get ready.

Regal advises Tajiri on how to watch out for the Worm, complete with a brief demonstration. The Dudleys come in and want to know why they’re facing Jericho. This somehow goes into a big rant about Winston Churchill. When the Dudleys have no idea what he’s going on about, he says just put Jericho through a table. They leave and Tajiri is still trying to get the Worm down. The wrestling and stories may have been hit or miss, but the comedy at this time was great.

Hardcore Holly says he isn’t the mole. Holly suggests to figure out who wasn’t there when they beat up Palumbo and O’Haire.

Vince and Torrie are in the shower (clothed) and are having a business meeting. She offers to do anything to get to the top of the WWF. Sex is implied. Austin comes in and demands an explanation for why they’re in the shower. “Uh…..sometimes there’s no other place to do business besides the shower.” Austin is totally cool with this and wants to talk about Invasion, but he’ll go get coffee first. This is comedy that I can’t do justice.

Tajiri vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Scotty takes him down almost immediately and they go to the apron where Tajiri kicks him upside the head. There’s the Tarantula and the fans are way into this. A rana is countered into a sitout powerbomb by Scotty. Here comes the Worm, but Tajiri mists him and the Buzzsaw Kick ends it. Tajiri was awesome but he needed his music to really hit his stride.

Vince and Torrie go to a mop closet. HE’S A MULTIMILLIONAIRE!!! GET A FREAKING HOTEL ROOM!!! Angle comes in and points out that they’re in a mop closet. Vince looks like he wants to kill him. “Hey Torrie, have you seen my gold medals?”

Booker T and Test meet and Booker asks if Test might join WCW. Test implies he could and might take the title. It’s about the money though.

Dudley Boys vs. Chris Jericho

The Dudleys pound him down in the corner so Jericho has to use speed to have a chance. They finally get down to one Dudley in the ring at a time. D-Von starts us off but Bubba comes in quickly. There’s a double flapjack to take Jericho down and set for a double superbomb off the middle rope but Jericho escapes and slams Bubba off the top. The Dudleys get back up and Bubba is knocked to the floor via the springboard dropkick. D-Von gets caught in the Walls but Bubba pulls the referee out. Bubba loads up a table but Spike runs in and Dudley Dogs him to give Jericho the opening for a Lionsault for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but did we really need Spike? Well to be fair they needed to make sure that the champions keep their credibility, but Spike still felt like overkill. It’s not a bad match and is a nice breath of air from the Vince is a horny old man thing going on tonight, but it just kind of came and went.

Torrie and Vince are in the bathroom now. Hey Vince: YOUR COMPANY IS BEING INVADED BY YOUR GREATEST RIVAL! Torrie doesn’t like Vince’s cologne and a flush is heard. It’s Saturn. This is so stupid.

Benoit had neck surgery last week so here’s a video about it. He’ll be out about a year.

Light Heavyweight Title: Christian vs. X-Pac

Christian works on the arm and powerslams Pac down. Pac jumps back up and pounds him down. Off to a quick chinlock followed by a spinwheel kick for two. Bronco Buster is broken up by a spinwheel kick by Christian. Pac misses a kick as well and Christian hits a gutbuster. Edge and Justin both get up on the apron and after Edge knocks him down, he tries to throw in the title. Edge intercepts it and knocks Justin down but Pac gets it and a shot with it ends Christian.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here at all. The Light Heavyweight Title never really did anything for me and that’s mainly because there wasn’t much to it. It was more about matches between guys that were light heavyweights instead of a match like you would see in WCW. That’s kind of a problem but smaller guys don’t draw right?

The APA think it was Test. They ask a referee where he is and are told he was last seen talking to Booker T.

Taz is at WWF New York and doesn’t want to talk. We get a clip from Thursday where Tazz demanded an apology from Austin about Austin beating up Austin so Austin was mauled.

Rhyno vs. Test

Gee, I wonder what’s going to happen here. Rhyno pounds Test into the corner very quickly because he’s mad about the Hardcore Title being lost. The APA brings out the group that beat up O’Haire and Palumbo on Thursday. A big boot gets two for Test. Pumphandle slam is countered and another big boot breaks up a Gore attempt. The guys on the floor distract the referee so Bradshaw clotheslines Test and the Gore gets the pin. This was nothing.

Test gets a big beatdown post match. Bradshaw kills him with a powerbomb.

Big Show/Trish Stratus vs. Lita/Matt Hardy

The guys start and Show shoves him into the corner. Trish comes in to try to pick the bones but Matt is like blonde woman please and brings in Lita. Trish is really bad at this point so Lita runs her over. Lita goes up but Show pushes him out of the way. The rana attempt doesn’t go that well so Matt tries to make a save. Show clotheslines Matt outside and Jeff’s barricade run totally fails. Trish gets caught in the Tree of Woe so Lita and Matt hit a double DDT on Show. Twist and Litasault beat Trish.

Rating: D-. With girls like Trish and Lita out there you can’t call it a failure but was there ANY point to this? Again, THE COMPANY IS BEING INVADED BY THE GUYS THAT ALMOST PUT THEM OUT OF BUSINESS. Why in the world are guys like Matt and Jeff not calling out any two WCW guys while Big Show is leveling a small city?

Show yells at Trish so Jeff hits a missile dropkick to save him.

Vince and Torrie are in the hall and Vince FINALLY comes up with the idea of DOING IT LATER TONIGHT. Torrie suggests a location she thinks will work so let’s go there now.

Shane runs into Buff, who says he relies on skill rather than luck.

The APA celebrates getting rid of Test when Sgt. Slaughter comes in and says he’s here to help find the mole. He was with Test watching old tapes of the Alley Fight back in 81. Watch that match. Seriously, stop reading this and go watch that match. It’s way more entertaining.

We officially turn things over to WCW, as in their graphics, their ring skirts, their announces (Arn Anderson and Scott Hudson) and their ring announcer named Stacy Keibler. Here’s Shane before the match to introduce everyone I just said. You can literally see the fans walking out. This is where everything began falling apart. Regal comes out as this is already being booed out of the building. He and Tajiri are getting rid of Shane and he’s ok with that.

Hudson says Buff is challenging for the WWF Title after the break. I think you can see where this is going to go from here.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Buff Bagwell

Hudson screws up AGAIN, saying Booker is the current TV Champion rather than the US Champion along with world champion. You can actually see the people walking out. The fans IMMEDIATELY start changing BS and the upper level is blacked out so we can’t see them leaving. Buff takes over and does his strut as EVEN MORE people leave.

Buff hooks a chinlock and the remaining people boo. Now they chant THIS MATCH SUCKS. Buff starts glaring at the crowd, basically turning heel mid match. Booker comes back with a side kick and forearm that misses but gets two anyway. Axe kick, Spinarooni, Austin and Angle FINALLY come in for the DQ.

Rating: F. I’m going to go into a much longer explanation of why this was an abomination later, but for now we’ll go with this: if the company has to black out the upper deck because your match made that many fans leave, your match is a failure. Again, we’ll get back to this later.

Bagwell, Austin and Angle beat down Booker. They knock him up the aisle, but enough of this FIRST TIME EVER stuff for world titles and invasions. TO THE LAUNDRY ROOM!

Torrie and Vince are flirting and Vince takes his clothes off. Vince makes VERY disturbing noises and Torrie takes his pants off. He has his eyes clothes and turns around, presumably sans clothes, and it’s Linda waiting on him. CUE SITCOM MUSIC!!!

Oh and the WWF and WCW Champions are still brawling. Good thing we had enough time to get back to this. Austin and Angle throw him out the door and then throw Bagwell out also. Buff never had another match and I’ll explain why now.

Overall Rating: F-. This was one of the biggest disasters I’ve seen in a very long time. First and foremost as I’ve said, THE WCW IS INVADING. WHY ARE WE WASTING TIME WITH ALL THESE POINTLESS MATCHES??? I’ll give you an answer to that right now: why should the WWF care? See, there’s this misconception out there that thinks that the Invasion was about WCW vs. WWF in a battle for the ages for all supremacy. There’s one major problem with that: we’ve had that battle.

Think about it. WCW has already lost. They’re out of business. WCW got so horrible for the last few years that no one paying attention or with a brain would suggest that WCW was any real threat to the WWF. On top of that, this is the best WCW has got? They have their champion Booker T and then……who? The tag champions were destroyed so it’s not them. Mike Awesome I guess? As in That 70s Guy? WWF has Angle and Austin and Jericho and Undertaker and Kane and we’re worried about That 70s Guy? Oh and DDP, the guy that Taker destroys whenever they’re in the ring together. Yeah how about that guy.

WCW has been made to look awful and we’re what, a month into this? Also, who in the world am I supposed to cheer for? I don’t think even they know. Third, this show wasn’t about the Invasion. It was about Vince trying to get laid and not having the common sense to GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. Why in the world would I want to watch this? Where’s Flair or Goldberg or Sting or Steiner or ANYBODY OTHER THAN THESE CLOWNS?

On top of all that, think about the fans leaving tonight. Can you blame them? They didn’t buy a ticket to see Buff Bagwell (who was fired for how bad his match was) vs. Booker T. They bought a ticket to see Monday Night Raw, the flagship show of the biggest wrestling company in the world. How would you feel if you were at Raw and the main event was for the OVW Title? In essence that’s what this was: a match for a title that means absolutely nothing in the WWE.

Finally, the McMahons. The Invasion was about Vince vs. Shane (and Stephanie who we’ll get to next week). It was never about WWF vs. WCW. It was about Vince McMahon and the battles he had with his children and nothing else. Why would you want to see that for 5 months? In short, no one did because they wanted to see the big names of WCW against the big names of the WWF (which could have gone on for YEARS and drawn millions and millions and MILLIONS of dollars).

Instead, we would wind up with one or two big name WCW guys and the rest was about Vince, Shane and WWF guys. This isn’t an invasion. This is the other company saying LOOK WHAT WE DID to try to get attention. There’s one problem with that: there is no other company. There’s WWF and the WCW is out of business. Why should I buy them as a threat when they spent the last three years getting killed? No one did and the Invasion failed. It would get a charge up next week, but this version of it has completely failed.

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