Monday Night Raw – August 19, 2002 (2017 Redo): The Summer Heats Up
Monday Night Raw Date: August 19, 2002
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
It’s the go home show for Summerslam 2002 and there’s actually a big match set up here as the Rock isn’t defending the WWE World Title against HHH. The other question is what Brock Lesnar will be doing to mess with Rock tonight because the Brand Split doesn’t mean anything when we’re close to a major pay per view. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Undertaker to get things going. He’s never been one to make his political opinions public but he doesn’t take anything from anyone, just like America. Only in America can a man like him be himself because all he has to do is back it up with his fists. As you might expect, this turns into a rant on the Un-Americans and Test in particular. Sign: “Test Still Works Here?” Anyway, after more AMERICA IS AWESOME stuff, Test comes out on a motorcycle to Undertaker’s music. Test says Undertaker sucks so the fight is on. The Un-Americans run out but Booker T. and Goldust make the save. Booker sets up the six man.
Hardcore Title: Battle Royal
Tommy Dreamer, Johnny the Bull, Bradshaw, Spike Dudley, Crash Holly, Bubba Ray Dudley, Steven Richards, Jeff Hardy, Terri
Bischoff says the 24/7 Rule is done and this is a six minute match with the last person to get a pinfall being the champion. Dreamer is defending and Terri wisely runs away to start. Bradshaw gets in the Clothesline to pin Dreamer and we get a countdown clock for our convenience. The weapons are brought in and a kitchen sink shot to Bradshaw’s head gives Crash the title.
Like most hardcore matches there’s just nothing to talk about here as it’s just a bunch of weapons shots with nothing being built up anywhere. Crash tells Bubba to get the tables and of course goes through one. A kendo stick shot is enough to give Dreamer the title back. Bubba superplexes Tommy for two and everyone hits everyone else as time expires, giving Dreamer the title.
Rating: F. What am I supposed to say here? There’s almost no wrestling involved and it’s for a title no one cares about with Dreamer winding up leaving with the title anyway. The hardcore division died a long time ago and we’ve been stuck watching its dead body walking around for years now. Hopefully this wraps up soon.
Kane’s music hits and HIS PATH IS CHOSEN.
Stacy and Trish are catty to each other about various sexual escapades of the past. Bischoff comes in and says they’re here for sex appeal. Instead of a match, it’s going to be a bra and panties match in the mud.
Trish Stratus vs. Stacy Keibler
They’re in underwear and fighting in a mud pit. Trish is launched into the mud and Charles Robinson is pulled in with her. I’m not going to waste your time here so we’ll just skip to Trish winning off a rollup outside the pit.
Fink gets thrown into the mud as well.
Rock arrives and is given a package from Paul Heyman. After some Rogaine jokes and an introduction to the production woman who gives her the package (“How you doing? Dwayne Johnson. Good to meet you.”), Rock finds a bunch of pictures of a bloody Hulk Hogan as the mind games continue.
Here’s HHH with a clipboard for a chat. HHH isn’t going to fight Shawn at Summerslam until Michaels signs a release to prevent any legal liabilities. As for tonight though, Brock Lesnar needs to be paying attention to what happens to the Rock. Tonight’s match will be No DQ so Rock is getting softened up for Sunday. After that, HHH is coming for Lesnar and the title.
Chris Jericho of all people cuts this off (Where was he five minutes ago?) to say they have a lot in common. First of all, they both hate each other. Well at least there’s some continuity. As for Summerslam, they’re both fighting people WAY past their primes…and here’s Flair to attack Jericho with a trashcan.
Booker T./Goldust/Undertaker vs. Un-Americans
So it’s Texas vs. Canada. It’s a brawl on the floor until Christian and Undertaker start for a rather odd pairing. That switches over to the much more normal Christian vs. Booker and as you might expect, some Canadian cheating puts Booker in trouble. Christian rams him into the mat a few times before it’s back to Test for a chinlock. The pumphandle slam doesn’t work and a side kick puts Test down.
Goldust comes in and cleans house with the usual, including ten right hands to Christian in the corner. Of course that sets up Shattered Dreams with Undertaker running interference so the referee doesn’t see it. A clothesline puts Test on the floor and there’s the chokeslam to Storm. As the big guys fight outside, a Tag Team Title is brought in and Christian knocks Goldust silly for the pin.
Rating: C+. Not a bad match here actually though the ending was a bit messy. The other problem here of course is having Test vs. Undertaker which should be little more than a squash that doesn’t break five minutes. The Tag Team Title match should be fun though, especially if Booker and Goldust get to talk a bit more beforehand.
Video on Rock training, which is certainly for a match and not for a movie.
Bischoff gives Van Dam a pep talk when Big Show comes up to ask why he didn’t get the title shot. Van Dam: “Maybe because you’re a tool?” Show: “I’m a giant!” Van Dam: “Ok, you’re a giant tool.” Bischoff makes a match between them for later but doesn’t want Van Dam getting hurt. The title match is NOT on the line.
Flair says his announcement from three weeks ago is on hold because he’s ready for Jericho on Sunday. Cue Jericho to attack him with the trashcan again.
Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam
Van Dam fires off the kicks to start and knocks Big Show outside for even more of them because he doesn’t have much else to use on a giant. Show sends him into the steps and then throws the steps back inside. A chokeslam plants Van Dam and Show loads up the steps, only to have Bischoff send in Jamal and Rosey for the DQ.
Show is beaten down as you would expect.
Rock knows tonight is a No DQ match and sure HHH has beaten him before. He’s beaten HHH before too though, all the way back to when they were babies and HHH diaper was that censored wet. They were fighting back in the colonial days and the caveman days before that. That’s not exactly funny.
Anyway, Coach has a video tape from Paul Heyman, which Rock thinks is Heyman on a beach without anything on. For some reason he agrees to let it be shown and it’s a Lesnar highlight video. Rock agrees that Lesnar is great but the fact is very simple: Rock is walking out as champion. This was longer than a lot of Rock’s usual stuff but it was a good combination of comedy (albeit not funny comedy) and intense, which is the right balance.
HHH goes in to Bischoff’s office because Eric has received the fax from Shawn, who has agreed to wave the right to sue HHH. The match is officially unsanctioned and this takes WAY longer than it needs to.
Fozzy performs To Kill a Stranger with Lawler talking about how awesome they are the whole way through. After the song, Jericho rips on the Norfolk fans and offers to play another song, only to have a bloody Flair come in and clean house. Various guitars are broken and Summerslam is set up.
Rock is getting ready and ignores a phone call.
In the arena, Lesnar and Heyman arrive and of course it’s Paul calling Rock.
After a break, Bischoff has security guarding Heyman and Lesnar.
The Rock vs. HHH
Non-title, No DQ and for the last time ever. HHH tells Rock to just bring it and that means a bunch of right hands to the face. Rock knocks him over the top and a big clothesline in front of the additional security puts HHH down again. Back in and a cheap shot lets HHH take over and it’s time to start the slow offense. We hit the abdominal stretch as JR tries to make it seem like the most important hold in wrestling history. It doesn’t last all that long (shocking) so a double clothesline puts both guys down.
The spinebuster sets up the People’s Elbow but the bad ribs mean it’s a delayed two. HHH takes it back outside and sends Rock into the steps so it can be sledgehammer time. The referee gets decked (cue the no contest) but here’s Shawn to go after HHH. Brock takes Sweet Chin Music and goes out into the crowd. Rock gives chase and HHH brawls with Shawn to end the show.
Rating: C. Rock vs. HHH is always going to be worth a look even if they have the two angles being built up instead of really going anywhere. That’s not exactly surprising but given how this show has been all over the place, you kind of had to expect it. I’m not sold on having the same ticket buying idea two weeks in a row but at least they’re building something up.
Overall Rating: D+. Some of the wrestling helps a bit here but that first hour with the mud and the hardcore stuff was just a mess. Summerslam is getting stronger every day but it’s going to take a special performance to make the show into a good night. Rock vs. Lesnar and HHH vs. Shawn have my interest though and that’s the best thing that can happen with a big show like this.
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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2002: The Night HHH Deserved It
Royal Rumble 2002 Date: January 20, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 12,915
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
This is the first step to things falling downhill, as we’re a few months away from the Brand Split and things falling through the floor in quality. The main event tonight aside from the Rumble is Jericho defending his newly won Undisputed Title (which he won by beating the Rock and Steve Austin IN THE SAME NIGHT in case you didn’t know that) against Rock. HHH is back in the ring tonight also (he may have fought on Smackdown before this but I don’t think he did) so let’s get to it.
The opening video has clips of various Rumble wins in a photo album kind of theme. The theme for this year’s show is 30 Men, 1 Winner. I’ve heard worse ideas which we’ll get too very soon.
Tag Titles: Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Dudley Boys
I LOVE Stacy as the Duchess of Dudleyville. I never remember her looking better. Anyway, Spike and Tazz are defending here in a reign that I don’t think anyone ever remembers. The Dudleys beat up Spike recently so he’s in a neck brace. The Dudleys attack to start and hit the belly to back neckbreaker on Tazz on the floor. It’s Bubba vs. Spike to start things off in a handicap match for all intents and purposes. Bubba rips the neck brace off and drops a big elbow.
Bubba shouts at Spike to get up as we get a very nice shot of Stacy. Tazz is back on the apron as D-Von hits a Hennig necksnap of all things. Bubba loads up a second brainbuster on Spike but gets countered into a Dudley Dog for no cover. The tag to Tazz is missed so Spike has to take a double flapjack instead. Spike avoids a headbutt from D-Von and makes the Dudleys clothesline each other. Hot tag brings in Tazz to clean house with suplexes. A big boot to Bubba’s head sets up a top rope cross body by Spike for two. Stacy interferes and gets put in the Tazmission. D-Von gets caught in the same hold and the champions retain.
Rating: D+. I have no idea what the point of this being on PPV was as it barely broke five minutes. Nothing with Stacy in the Dudley attire can be bad, but this came about as close as you can get. Actually scratch that as it wasn’t so much bad but just short. I have no idea why this wasn’t on Raw or something like that. Tazz would be retired very soon after this due to a horrible neck.
We immediately go to a recap of Regal vs. Edge which is based on Regal using brass knuckles over and over again. Edge got fed up with it and beat up a lot of people with a chair.
Edge has a chair with him tonight to counter the knuckles. Apparently he broke Regal’s nose recently.
Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal
Edge is defending. The referee checks Regal over and over again for knuckles and finds them in his trunks. Well you can’t say he didn’t do his job. The referee stupidly puts them on the ring post instead of like, giving them to someone to take to the back or something. Edge pounds away to start and chokes with his boot in the corner. He goes after Regal’s bad nose as Lawler claims conspiracy.
Regal comes back with a clothesline but Edge kicks him in the back to put both guys down. Being the British dude that he is, Regal suplexes Edge down for two. Make that four. Uh six. Yet somehow that isn’t three. Off to an arm trap chinlock followed by a hard forearm to put the champion down again. A double arm powerbomb hits Edge for two and they head to the apron. Edge busts out a DDT onto said apron, further injuring Regal’s nose.
Back in and they ram heads to put both guys down as the match continues to drag at a slow pace. Edge wins a slugout and takes Regal down with a spinwheel kick and a suplex for two. Regal suplexes him down as well, only for Edge to hit a big old clothesline for two more. The Regal Stretch goes on out of nowhere but Edge reverses into a terrible version of his own to no avail. A top rope spinwheel kick puts Regal down but he finds another set of brass knuckles. Instead of swinging them though, he pulls the referee in the way of Edge’s spear. Regal clocks Edge and wins the title.
Rating: D+. This didn’t click at all. Regal didn’t seem interested in selling at all and Edge wasn’t ready to carry a match by himself yet. He was getting to the point where he could but it would take a summer of feuding with Eddie to get him up to that point. Regal wouldn’t really do anything with the belt other than lose it to RVD. Nothing to see here.
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz
Jacqueline is referee for absolutely no apparent reason and Trish is defending. Jazz is basically being a bully and has injured Trish’s hand coming into this. Jazz jumps Trish to start but misses a splash, giving Trish two off a rollup. A modified hot shot slows the champ down again and a legdrop gets two. Jazz works on the bad hand for a bit but Jackie pulls them out of the ropes. Jackie of course makes it all about herself and won’t count a cover on Trish. Stratusfaction hits out of nowhere for two and Jazz is up a few seconds later, basically no selling it. Trish hits a bad looking running bulldog to retain.
Rating: D. It was short, it was sloppy, the ending was stupid and Jackie was in it. What other kind of grade do you expect here? Stratus was starting to get better but it would take another year and Lita before she got amazing. Jazz was a pretty stupid pick to bring over to WWE as no one remembered her and she didn’t have the looks to back up any lack of hype. Bad match here.
Flair says he’ll win.
We recap Vince vs. Flair. Flair debuted after Survivor Series as the new co-owner of the company and has driven Vince crazy since. This led up to a street fight tonight between the two of them tonight which isn’t as big a deal as they were shooting for I don’t think. The highlight of it was Vince dressing up as Flair and saying destroying lives turned him on.
Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon
Remember this is a street fight. Vince shoves him down to start and struts, so Flair punches him down and struts as well. Flair wins a chop battle in the corner (duh) so Vince goes to the eyes to escape. There’s the Flair Flop followed by a Flair Flip in the corner as Vince is in full control. We head to the floor and get our first weapon shot, with Vince pounding on Ric with a metal Keep Off sign.
There’s a trashcan shot to the head and Flair is busted open. How thin must the skin on his forehead be? Anyway, Vince steals a camera from someone to take a picture of Flair’s cut before we head back inside. Since he’s a jerk, Vince starts working over the knee in (less skilled) Flair fashion. The leg is wrapped around the post and Vince puts on a Figure Four that Dusty Rhodes would be jealous of.
Flair turns the hold over and Vince IMMEDIATELY lets go of the hold. So not only is he better at it than some wrestlers, he’s also smart. Never let it be said that Vince doesn’t know what he’s doing. Vince bails to the floor and grabs a lead pipe that he used to bust Flair open in the build up to the match. Flair catches him coming in with a low blow and pounds away on the floor.
Vince takes a monitor shot to the head and in a weird spot, we see a replay on the monitor on the table as the live match goes on. Vince is busted open now and we head back inside. Scratch that as we go back outside immediately where Flair’s family takes pictures of Vince’s cut. Set it up earlier, pay it off later. Good move. Back in and Flair kicks him low again just because he can, cracks him in the head with the pipe and ends it with the Figure Four.
Rating: C+. At the end of the day, this match makes as much sense as almost anything you’ll see. Vince controlled at the beginning, but at the end of the day he’s a boss and Flair is a veteran wrestler and athlete. It makes sense for him to be able to shrug that off and destroy Vince with relative ease once he got the upper hand. On top of that we got some good blood and Vince getting hit in the balls so how can this not be entertaining?
Stephanie talks trash about everyone else in the Rumble and runs down Debra as well. Austin walks up and WHAT’s her away. Cole gets a bit of it too. This is when the bit was brand new and still kind of funny, as opposed to now when it ruins almost every serious promo.
No highlight package for the world title match? For those of you not around in 2002 (LUCKY!), Jericho won the title in December, beating Rock along the way. It makes sense for Rock to get the first shot, especially since they feuded over the end of the year.
WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho
Jericho still has both titles because HHH wasn’t there to win the first Undisputed Title and get the new belt. Rock decks him immediately and the champ heads to the floor, only to run back in and get punched some more. Jericho misses a charge and hits the post but pulls off a hot shot out of nowhere to give himself a breather. They trade strikes in the corner before Jericho hits a spinwheel kick to Rocky’s arms for two.
A suplex gets two for Jericho and for some reason Rock’s left thumb is sticking out. The champ unhooks a buckle but can’t get the Walls. A missile dropkick gets two on Rock and it’s off to the chinlock. That goes on for a good while so Chris goes up again, only to get crotched and superplexed. A belly to belly suplex gets two for Rock but Jericho clotheslines him down and hits the Lionsault. Due to high reasons of arrogance, Jericho waits forever to cover and fights with the referee after getting two.
Another dropkick attempt by Jericho is caught in a Sharpshooter, but here’s Lance Storm for a distraction while Jericho taps. Christian comes in as well and is promptly punched out by Rock. Jericho hits a Rock Bottom on Rock for two and the frustration begins. The champ loads up a People’s Elbow but Rock nips up and sends Jericho out to the floor.
Both guys are rammed into both announce tables before Jericho’s Rock Bottom attempt is countered into an AWESOME looking Rock Bottom by Rock from one table through the other. That only gets two back inside before Jericho counters another Rock Bottom into the Liontamer (yes I said Liontamer instead of the Walls). Ok now it’s the Walls, which allows Rock to make the rope.
The jumping clothesline takes the referee down by mistake, allowing Jericho to blast Rock with the belt. Another referee slides in and gets two off that and Rock DDTs Jericho down. Rock covers….and Nick Patrick won’t count. There’s a Rock Bottom for his efforts and a People’s Elbow for Jericho but there’s no referee. Rock checks on Hebner, allowing Jericho to hit him low, send him into the Chekov’s Gun in the shape of an exposed turnbuckle. All that plus a rollup with his feet on the ropes is enough for Jericho to retain the title.
Rating: B. This took awhile to get going but once things picked up it turned into what you would expect from Rock vs. Jericho in a nearly 20 minute match. The overbooking worked here as Jericho needed something to boost him up to Rock’s level, which is what you’re supposed to do as a heel. Good stuff here and a very fine title match.
Shawn Michaels, in a really stupid looking Texas flag shirt, is at WWF New York. He picks Taker or Austin to win the Rumble.
Video on the Rumble. The main picks to win are Taker, HHH, Angle and Austin.
Royal Rumble
Rikishi and Goldust are #1 and #2 respectively and we’ve got two minute intervals. Goldie walks around Rikishi to start and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Rikishi knocks him around for a bit but can’t quite drop the big load on Goldie’s chest. A backdrop puts Goldust on the apron and Boss Man is #3, making it 2-1 against Rikishi. Goldust gets punched in the face but Boss Man pounds Rikishi into the corner. The heels explode after a long one minute partnership.
Bradshaw is #4 and hopefully he can pick things up a bit. He beats up everyone as Rikishi loads up the Stinkface on Boss Man. A superkick and a clothesline put Boss Man out and there’s a Samoan Drop to Bradshaw. Goldie pounds away on Bradshaw in the corner and gets powerbombed for his efforts. Lance Storm is #5 and absolutely nothing of note happens until Al Snow (on Tough Enough at this point) is #6. Bradshaw kills Storm with the Clothesline as the fans want Head.
Billy of Billy and Chuck is #7 and we’re still waiting on something to happen. The fans are still into this at least so it’s not a failure at this point. Storm and Snow fight to the apron with Snow superkicking Lance to an elimination. Billy dumps Bradshaw and Undertaker is finally #8 to pick things up a bit. A chokeslam kills Billy (the third in the series, not starring Uma Thurman) and another one puts out Goldust. Snow and Rikishi are dumped out and Billy follows them, leaving Undertaker alone to a big reaction. He’s evil here in case you’re not up on Taker history.
Matt Hardy is #9, which is interesting as Taker injured both Hardys and Lita. The redhead gets in along with Matt and helps him take the big man down via a low blow. Matt hits a Twist of Fate and stomps away but can’t get Taker out. Naturally Jeff Hardy is #10 because that’s how the TOTALLY RANDOM draw works in the Rumble.
Taker slugs down one of the best tag teams ever in just a few seconds, only to get caught in the Twist/Swanton combo. Again, why would you use moves that keep a giant on the mat? Not that it matters as Poetry in Motion is caught and Jeff is easily thrown out. The Last Ride kills Matt and he’s gone too, leaving Taker alone again. The clock during that segment was REALLY long too as they were roughly three minutes each to get the whole segment in.
Maven from Tough Enough is #11 but Lita is on the apron. Taker PUNCHES her down, drawing the Hardys back in. Taker dumps both of them again, but Maven dropkicks Undertaker in the back and eliminates him in arguably the biggest surprise elimination ever in the Rumble. The look on the Dead Man’s face is hilarious as he has absolutely no emotion at all. He calmly turns around, gets back in the ring, and mauls Maven, sending him through the ropes to the floor. A HUGE chair shot cracks Maven’s head and the beating continues until Scotty 2 Hotty is #12.
Taker punches Scotty down and throws Maven back in to eliminate him, which under old Rumble rules would count. The beating goes into the crowd as there’s nothing in the ring at the moment. Christian is #13 but has no one to fight because Scotty is still down. Instead we go to the back where Maven is rammed face first into a popcorn machine. Taker eats a handful of popcorn and finally leaves Maven alone.
Scotty gets in and walks into a DDT as DDP is #14. Nothing of note continues to happen until Scotty superkicks Page through the ropes to the floor and hits the Worm on Christian. Page sneaks back in and throws Scotty out as Chuck is #15. They all beat on each other for a bit with Christian and Chuck teaming up for a bit. Godfather, now the owner of an escort service in an attempt to salvage the gimmick, is #16 and brings out 12 good looking women with him. Page is eliminated off camera during this.
With Godfather in the ring after about 15 seconds due to dancing, Albert is #17. He’s the Hip Hop Hippo at this point and lasts about 45 seconds before being tossed by the villains. Godfather is dumped soon thereafter, and here’s Saturn at #18. Chuck and Perry slug it out as the fans cheer for the Ho’s leaving. Nothing happens again, until Austin is #19. Chuck is the first victim, getting stomped down in the corner. There goes Christian, Saturn gets a Stunner, Chuck is eliminated, Saturn is dumped, Christian gets thrown back in, Stunned and thrown out again, Chuck gets the same as Christian, and Austin takes a breather.
Val Venis is #20 (and also returning) and things go about as you would expect, although Val does get in some offense and survives until Test is #21. A double teaming lasts for a bit until Austin remembers who he’s fighting and dumps both guys in a few seconds. Austin does his watch bit when no one is in the ring with him. Notice the difference between the big stars and the regular guys: the big ones are CONSTANTLY trying to keep the audience entertained instead of letting them die.
Speaking of entertaining the crowd, HHH is #22. The entrance takes about a minute and a half, they stare at each other for about twenty more seconds, and the slugout only lasts for a few seconds until Hurricane is #23. Luckily for him, the legends knock each other down so Hurricane can tries a double chokeslam. The look on Austin’s face is hilarious as the two of them dump Hurricane with ease.
Austin and HHH chop each other in the corner until Faarooqq is #24 and lasts about that many seconds. Mr. Perfect makes a surprise return at #25 to a big surprise reaction from the audience. He looks a bit, shall we say, tipsy here. Perfect chills on the floor a bit as JR makes a mistake, saying Perfect debuted at the Rumble in 1993. In reality he was #4 in 1989. Austin and HHH double team Perfect to no avail so here’s Angle at #26, drawing the rare double chant of YOU SUCK WHAT.
HHH and Angle pair off as do the other two guys and the match slows down a bit. Kurt starts suplexing people but can’t dump HHH because Austin makes the save due to reasons of a big ego. Big Show is #27 in his one piece women’s swimsuit. Angle gets chokeslammed so Austin and HHH double team the big man to limited avail. HHH saves Angle, presumably because he wants Kurt’s help to get Show out. Makes sense I guess.
Show dominates everyone until Kane is #28. HHH gets chokeslammed so we can have our battle of the giants. Jerry: “They’re not getting any smaller are they JR?” Uh yeah Jerry, actually they are. They do the double chokeslam spot but Kane kicks Show low and picks him up, slamming him to the floor. AWESOME display of strength there, but Angle immediately dumps Kane to get us back down to four.
Van Dam is #29 and hits a Five Star on Angle who is down from something we didn’t see. Everyone but HHH gets kicked down so he hits a Pedigree to put Van Dam down. Booker T is #30, giving us a final group of Booker, RVD, Angle, Perfect, HHH and Austin. Booker throws out RVD without having to do anything else thanks to the Pedigree. We get a Spinarooni, followed by a Stunner and elimination to get us down to Austin, Angle, HHH and Perfect.
Austin hits a slingshot into the post on HHH who walks into an Angle Slam. Angle rolls some Germans on Austin and the C/Kurts try to dump Austin. Austin hits some HARD right hands to break that up but as he tries to dump Perfect, Angle runs up and dumps the Rattlesnake. Austin pulls Perfect to the floor but Kurt sends Austin into the steps to break it up. Steve still isn’t done as he comes back in with a chair for all three guys. Eh he’s Austin so he can get away with it.
Angle accidentally clothesline Hennig but doesn’t eliminate him. There’s the PerfectPlex (BIG pop for that) to Kurt but HHH dumps Perfect a second later. Angle and HHH stare each other down and the Game pounds away on him to take over. Kurt gets HHH to the apron but can’t get the win. HHH chokes away but charges into a backdrop, sending him to the apron. Kurt makes the classic mistake of not making sure the other guy is out and gets clotheslined to the floor, giving HHH the Rumble. For you trivia guys, this is the longest Rumble ever to date, even going 11 seconds longer than the 40 man version.
Rating: C+. This has some very bad spots in it but the rest of the stuff is solid all around. Once Austin gets in there things pick up a lot, but the 18 guys before him don’t do much. Taker’s elimination came too fast which hurt things here, as there was no one of note from #9 until Austin at #19. Still though, the good stuff here was good enough to check this out, but you might want to fast forward some parts of it.
Overall Rating: B-. This is a pretty good but certainly not great show. 2002 was a bad year for the company on Raw and things were clearly starting to look weak here. The main problem was the lack of elevation of anyone new to the main event in the year, as the main events for almost every PPV were people who had been there before. There’s nothing on here that’s required viewing but there’s also nothing terrible on here either. Check it out but don’t expect to be blown away.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown – August 15, 2002: The Smackdown Several
Smackdown Date: August 15, 2002
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
With ten days to go before Summerslam, the Raw half of the card is mostly filled in. That leaves a lot of Smackdown to go and that could mean some interesting things going on. Now of course the important thing tonight is Brock Lesnar vs. Rikishi because that’s the kind of match that needs to be advertised. Let’s get to it.
Here are Paul Heyman and Lesnar for a chat after destroying Hulk Hogan last week. You can imagine how happy Heyman is to talk about Hogan being destroyed last week and seemingly ending his career (again). Heyman gets to narrate video of last week and it’s as entertaining as you would expect it to be (during the F5: “When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside.”).
Lesnar rips up a Hogan shirt as Heyman talks about how the people’s blood will be on Lesnar’s hands at Summerslam. Brock promises to end Rock’s title reign just like he ended Hogan’s career. Rikishi comes out to interrupt and I continue to fail to see the appeal of this match. The fat man threatens to back it up and then make Brock kiss it before clearing the ring. Lesnar saves Heyman from a Stinkface.
Hurricane/Shannon Moore/Hardcore Holly vs. Billy and Chuck/Rico
Holly and Rico are having issues over Hardcore shaving off part of Rico’s sideburns. Billy and Hardcore start fast with Holly hitting that dropkick. It’s off to Shannon vs. Rico for the spinning kicks to put Moore down. A backslide to Rico sets up Hurricane’s top rope legdrop for a nice spot. Chuck comes in and gets hurricanranaed to set up a Shining Wizard for two as the cruiserweights are moving very well so far.
Those loud and heavy right hands from Chuck stagger Hurricane though as the fans tell Rico that he sucks. A neckbreaker gets Hurricane out of trouble and a double falling tag brings in Shannon and Chuck as things speed up again. Something like a Whisper in the Wind connects as everything breaks down. Billy gets in the One and Only on Shannon to give Chuck the pin after a quick referee distraction.
Rating: C+. I liked this a lot more than I expected as it was quite the snappy little six man tag. Hurricane and Shannon looked good out there and Holly was just kind of there. Billy and Chuck and Rico are fine for a three man team when necessary and it’s nice to see Rico getting in the ring instead of just being on the floor.
The post match beatdown is on until Matt Hardy arrives as the newest name to jump over. No heel beatdown ensues so I guess we’re just forgetting Raw.
Stephanie, who is supposed to be a face here, does the full on heel shouting rant to Dawn Marie over the contracts from last week. Of course Stephanie was able to use her brilliance by signing Matt Hardy and buying commercial time on Raw. Dawn needs to dress more professionally or she’ll be fired. I really have no idea how I’m supposed to think Stephanie is interesting or care about her but that’s the way things work around here whether we like it or not.
Matt talks to the losers of the six man tag and says Smackdown is ready for Matt Hardy Version I. Holly doesn’t look impressed.
Chris Benoit comes in to see Stephanie and we get a great example of Stephanie’s really weird way of speaking as she keeps saying Intercontinental Title and that people will tap. Tonight it’s Benoit vs. Rock as a way to send a message to Van Dam. Again: Stephanie does not act like a face in the slightest but there’s no reason for her to be a heel either. She just changes back and forth, thereby making it really hard to figure out how to react to her. I get the idea of shades of gray but when you’re used to wrestling working one way and one person does it differently, it’s going to be difficult to understand.
Kurt Angle thinks Rey Mysterio is a twelve year old who put on a mask and cheated to beat him. Mysterio comes in (Angle: “Sorry. You must be this tall to talk to Kurt Angle. Try again next year.”) and a match is made for Summerslam. Angle: “You want me at Summerslam? La freaking cucaracha. You’re on man.” Mark Henry comes up and gets a match with Angle tonight. Kurt was HILARIOUS here.
Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry
Henry shoulders him down and smiles to start so Kurt tries right hands to even less avail. They head outside for a bit with Henry missing a charge and coming up with a bad ankle. It’s a good thing Angle has the luck of Ric Flair when it comes to opponents tweaking a body part during a match. Kurt starts going after the ankle as Cole brags about having multiple Olympians on the roster. The ankle gets attacked even more and Kurt grabs a leglock. The ankle lock is broken up and Henry does a gorilla press drop because his ankle is just fine. A chop block into another ankle lock makes Henry tap.
Rating: D. Egads Henry was worthless around this point. Kurt was trying but when Henry’s selling was this bad there’s only so much he can do. I’m not sure what you can ask for out of this other than Henry not being able to do his normal stuff but that gorilla press was completely normal. He’s been around over six years at this point and there’s no excuse for something like this.
Mysterio makes the save with a hurricanrana and Angle gets busted open somewhere in there.
Eric Bischoff does a Subway commercial from the Raw set to get back at Stephanie for buying commercial time on Monday. You know, which Raw would have profited from. WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT THIS STUFF???
Rikishi vs. Brock Lesnar
Rikishi is thrown around to start but he stands still off a shoulder. Brock starts in on the arm before grabbing a bearhug though Tazz thinks Rikishi can hang on, unlike Hogan. For the life of me I do not get this love for Rikishi, who fights out of the bearhug and gets in the Samoan drop. Heyman comes in to save Brock from the Stinkface (which the #1 contender shouldn’t need saving from) and takes one himself. The F5 wraps this up shortly thereafter.
Rating: D-. Sweet goodness enough with the big guys who can’t do much other than big guy offense. Rikishi is suddenly a veteran who we’re supposed to respect despite being the same character who was a glorified comedy guy. He’s still huge and does comedy spots but now we’re supposed to be impressed that Lesnar beat him? It doesn’t work that way.
We run down the Summerslam card.
Funaki interviews Nidia, who invites him to touch her chest. Seriously. An arguing D-Von and Batista come in with the deacon sending D-Von through a door, likely ending the team for good.
Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia
Torrie does her bad looking clotheslines, which are even more impressive since very little Torrie does can be classified as bad looking. Cole actually brags about the crowd being louder than Raw’s crowd as Nidia knees her in the ribs for two. Jamie Noble gets slapped so he grabs Torrie’s ankle, earning himself a cheap shot from Kidman. Torrie gets back in and Jamie adds in a clothesline, giving Nidia the cheap pin.
Kane’s music hits and, just like Monday, nothing happens.
Eddie is on the phone with grandma, who will be sure the whole family is watching tonight. Various cousins are listed off. Eddie isn’t cool with Edge and wants to beat that bad smile off his face.
Chavo Guerrero/Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio/Edge
Edge and Chavo start with the Guerrero taking a flapjack (always love that move) as Cole refers to Eddie as the Raw defector. Chavo takes it to the floor and sends Edge into the barricade so Eddie can start in on the ribs. They botch what looked to be a backdrop and it’s off to Rey as things speed way up.
One heck of a powerbomb crushes Rey and Chavo adds a splash to the back for two. Mysterio gets in a spinwheel kick to Chavo’s face and for some reason the referee stops to check on both guys. It’s not like the shot was that hard. Everything breaks down and Eddie gives Edge a brainbuster, only to have Rey break up the frog splash. The 619 connects but Angle pulls Rey off the apron for the DQ.
Rating: C. This was WAY too short (but at least we had Nidia talking about how hot she was) but it helped set up Mysterio vs. Angle, which is one of the best things that can happen at the moment. You can see the talent starting to build up around the midcard and a lot of that is due to a main eventer like Angle being involved. With the younger guys getting wins over him, they seem like bigger deals as a result.
Video on the Australia tour with 56,734 people at the Melbourne show.
The Rock and Marc Lloyd discuss squealing and bending over. Lloyd actually bends over and Rock freaks out as only he can. Rock: “SWEET CREAM ON AN ICE CREAM SAMMICH GET UP!” Marc leaves and Rock is ready for Benoit tonight and is going to send Brock a message tonight.
The Rock vs. Chris Benoit
Non-title. During Rock’s entrance, a WATCH TRIPLE H VS. ROCK ON RAW banner goes through the crowd. Cole wants to know what it would mean if Benoit can make Rock tap twice in a row. Rock starts in on the arm and clotheslines him down as this is high energy to start.
Benoit takes him into the corner for some chops, only to get caught in the belly to belly for two. The rolling German suplexes get two on Rock and a DDT drops him again. Benoit goes up (which Cole calls rare despite him doing it in almost every match) and hits the Swan Dive for two.
Rock’s Sharpshooter (which Benoit would laugh at) sends Benoit straight to the ropes so it’s the spinebuster instead. Cue Lesnar for the staredown though, allowing Benoit to get in a cheap shot. The fans want Hogan but have to settle for a Crossface from Benoit. That means we tease the tap out finish but this time Rock makes the rope. Back up and a quick Rock Bottom ends Benoit.
Rating: B. Were you expecting anything else here? I really liked that tease of the tap out again as it was set up in their previous match, which made you think it could happen. Benoit losing here is fine as it’s to a bigger name so it’s not like he falls that far. Rock vs. Lesnar has been built up very well as it’s hard to imagine either of them actually losing. Good main event here.
Lesnar and Rock stare each other down to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. Not the best show in the world here but the good stuff was quite good. The problem though is the bad stuff was really bad, making the show really unbalanced. The Stephanie stuff was HORRIBLE though as she just won’t shut up with will of the RAW IS EVIL when absolutely no one cares. It’s one of the least interesting stories I can ever remember and for some reason they’re doing it again in the modern Brand Split. Stephanie must really love that story and if that’s the case, you know it’s what we’re going to get.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – August 12, 2002: They Can Do It
Monday Night Raw Date: August 12, 2002
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
With less than two weeks to go before Summerslam, it might be nice to add a few matches to the card. Unless I’m missing something, all we have at the moment is Rock vs. Lesnar and HHH vs. Shawn Michaels. While those are both big matches, you need more than that to fill out a show. I mean, Shawn and HHH might disagree but not everyone thinks like they do. Let’s get to it.
Lesnar and Paul Heyman arrive, tickets in hand. You know, the exclusive contract thing kind of stops meaning anything when people keep showing up like this.
Opening sequence.
Eric Bischoff blames Stephanie McMahon for Lesnar and Heyman being here. You know, because Lesnar and Heyman are the kind of guys who are going to be in on some big promotion vs. promotion war.
Here’s HHH to open things up. All week long, people have been asking him how he could do that to his best friend, but Shawn never was his best friend. Insert your own GASP here. HHH just used Shawn to get to the top of the company, just like Shawn used HHH to stay at the top. He’s better than Shawn was on his best day and blames the fans for his actions.
HHH has crippled people in this ring before and he’ll do it again. One day Shawn is going to be watching the show in his wheelchair and he’ll show his son the man that kept him at home for good. Cue the Rock to say he can beat HHH up anytime but he wants Lesnar tonight. HHH asks Rock who he thinks he is so Rock reminds him who the Undisputed Champion is, meaning HHH can shut up.
A challenge is issued and HHH says he’d love to go. Rock: “Then go get the Rock a bologna sandwich because this doesn’t concern you.” The fight is on but Lesnar jumps to the apron for a distraction, setting up the Pedigree on Rock. This was WAY too long as HHH continues to be one of the most boring talkers in years.
Post break, Rock demands HHH tonight. Bischoff says he’ll try to make it happen.
Trish Stratus/Spike Dudley vs. Christopher Nowinski/Molly Holly
Before the match, Trish slaps the Fink for insulting Lillian. You know, because people remember that. The guys start things off as the fans want puppies. Nowinski slams Spike so Molly can cover for two (JR: “Probably an unfamiliar position for Molly.”) and slap her ex around a bit. Trish (who looks especially good in blue) comes in to make things a bit more fair until Chris pulls her down by the hair. Stratusfaction puts Nowinski down and it’s back to Spike, despite Trish having better luck against the male villain. Spike sends Molly into the Chick Kick but Nowinski grabs a spinning double underhook slam for the pin.
Rating: D. I’m not sure what the point of this one was but the important thing was toning the sex jokes WAY down. There were a few here and there though nothing compared to what it was before. I can live with a bad storyline as long as it doesn’t turn into something that embarrassing again.
We look back at 3 Minute Warning beating up Moolah and Mae Young.
Goldust stops Bischoff in the back and asks for a Tag Team Title shot. Bischoff gives them the shot at Summerslam, earning himself a leg visit from Minidust.
Here’s heel Fink to talk about how great he is and say Lillian got what was coming to her. She’s a ditz who swallowed her way into a job (seriously). Kane’s music hits….and no one comes out. Ok then.
Bischoff makes Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit for Summerslam due to Stacy stealing contracts from Stephanie on Smackdown to keep that nonsense going. The Hardys are annoyed about being ignored so Bischoff flips a coin to give Jeff a match against Van Dam tonight for the title shot against Benoit.
Booker T. vs. Lance Storm
Booker works on the arm to start but crotches himself on a side kick attempt. That means a kick to the ribs and an elbow to the neck until Booker gets the spinning sunset flip out of the corner. Storm suplexes him right back down and grabs a cravate for a bit. As is the custom, the rest hold triggers the comeback with Booker getting in his usual. Christian offers a distraction so Goldust pops Storm in the jaw, setting up the ax kick for the pin.
Rating: C. This was fine and that’s what you would expect from these two talented guys. It’s nice to see some teams put together into a feud and the Un-Americans could be just fine as a three man heel team for a long time. I’d have loved for this to get more time but that would mean less HHH talking time.
Test comes out for the beatdown but Undertaker makes the save. Minidust is here too and gets beaten up until we take a break. Back with Bischoff in the ring with Minidust announcing an eight man tag later tonight with the Un-Americans/HHH vs. Rock/Booker T./Goldust/Undertaker. As for Minidust though, Bischoff would like to see a Spinarooni. The entertainment ends, 3 Minute Warning comes in, JR and King are appalled. I think you know the drill by now. We’re still not done yet as Bischoff brings out Stacy Keibler so stripping and table dancing can ensue while Mini-Dust is taken away on a stretcher.
Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Ric Flair/Bubba Ray Dudley
Those are some odd teams and one of them would wind up being Tag Team Champions. Flair and Jericho start (thank goodness) and keep it basic with a backdrop to put Flair down as the high spot. It’s off to Bubba, who JR thinks is a big heavier than advertised. Show comes in and powerslams Bubba with ease, followed by some heavy chops.
Ric gets to try his luck and it’s about the same as Bubba with chops having little to no effect on the monster. It’s back to Jericho who misses a charge and crotches himself on the ropes. Everything breaks down and Bubba starts cleaning house with a side slam getting two on Chris. Flair takes Show into the crowd, leaving Jericho to hit Bubba low and grab the Walls for the submission.
Rating: C+. This was a bit better than I was expecting though that’s not really saying much. At least Jericho got the win over Bubba and Big Show didn’t horribly botch anything or injure anyone in the process and that’s a step up for him. Flair vs. Jericho has potential when they make the match for Summerslam and that’s something the card needs.
Post match Flair takes Jericho’s tights down but can’t get the Figure Four because the legs are tied together.
After a break, Jericho is so mad that he wants to face Flair at Summerslam. As a bonus, he’s going to perform with his band Fozzy right here next week.
Video on Shawn’s career in case you’re not familiar. In this case, that makes sense as if you started watching in the last four years or so, you’ve probably never seen him have a match.
Tommy Dreamer vs. Steven Richards
I’m not sure if the Hardcore Title is on the line here but they’re only allowed one weapon each. Dreamer has a kendo stick and Richards brings in a chair as the ECW chants start up. Richards starts fast by stealing the stick and unloading on Dreamer’s knee. That’s like, psychology and stuff. A spinebuster gets Dreamer out of trouble and he ties Richards up in the Tree of Woe for the baseball slide into the chair. Dreamer chairs him in the head for the pin.
Rating: D+. I’ve seen far worse and there was actually a little thinking in this one for a change. It’s still not good or anything but I’m no sure why this wasn’t for the title, especially if Dreamer was just going to win. If nothing else it’s better by not having someone run in and steal the title.
Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam
The winner gets Benoit for the Intercontinental Title at Summerslam. Lita is shown watching from the World. I’d share a fruit plate with her in New York City. They run the ropes to start with Van Dam missing the spinning kick to the face. Jeff puts him on the floor for the barricade running clothesline, only to have Rob kick him out of the air.
Back in and the top rope kick to the face drops Jeff and Rolling Thunder gets two. Jeff’s Whisper in the Wind gets the same but he takes WAY too much time going up. Rob kicks him in the head but the referee gets bumped, allowing Matt to come in and turn on his brother. The Five Star gives Rob the title shot.
Rating: C. This was watchable and I’m glad they’re splitting up the Hardys for the moment. It’s not like there are a ton of teams for them to feud with so let them move on and do something on their own. It seems that WWE has wanted to split them up for the better part of ever so it’s hardly the worst idea in the world.
On Smackdown: Lesnar vs. Rikishi!
Test gets Undertaker at Summerslam.
Bischoff yells at Kevin Dunn (who really does sound like Cornette’s imitation) for putting up that Smackdown teaser. Apparently that was a commercial, which should mean Bischoff and Raw made money. Eric isn’t happy and makes HHH vs. Rock for next week.
HHH/Un-Americans vs. The Rock/Booker T./Goldust/Undertaker
After some long entrances, Goldust cranks on Storm’s arm to start before handing it off to Booker for more of the same. A good looking superkick gets two on Lance and it’s off to Rock for one heck of a pop. Rock cleans house but makes the mistake of talking trash (Rock? Never.), allowing Storm to get in a few cheap shots to take over. HHH comes in and tries the jumping knee but Test knees Rock from the apron, leaving no one for HHH to hit. Sounds like lame revenge from 1999.
It’s enough for the tag off to Booker so Christian can hammer away. Mr. T. fights back until Storm’s great superkick allows the tag to Test. HHH gets two off a suplex and it’s back to Christian for a chinlock. Since he isn’t bright enough to do something original, Test comes in for a chinlock of his own. A side slam keeps Booker in trouble as the fans want Taker. I know this because they’re chanting WE WANT TAKER.
HHH puts on a sleeper but Booker gets in a side kick, allowing the VERY hot tag to Undertaker. Everything breaks down in a hurry and it’s Rock and Undertaker cleaning house. Test breaks up a double chokeslam attempt but Booker saves Undertaker from a pumphandle slam. Rock punches HHH out to the floor, ducks the big boot and Rock Bottoms Test for two with HHH making the save. Storm gets chokeslammed and Test boots Undertaker down to save Christian from the Last Ride and steal the pin.
Rating: B. That was a very hot finish with the charisma more than carrying some of the weaker talents in the match. They even had a good false finish on that Test near fall at the end. It’s a much better match than I was expecting from an eight man tag and that’s a good sign when Raw hasn’t exactly been great recently.
Overall Rating: C+. It’s amazing how much better a show gets when we don’t have five HHH vs. Shawn segments in two hours. There was a certain energy here to make the show a lot easier to sit through than in recent weeks. Summerslam is starting to take shape too and that’s the best thing that could possibly happen at this point. This was a good show with solid action and storyline advancement which is actually a rare combination in wrestling, as unfortunate as that may be.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown Date: August 8, 2002
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
It’s time for a showdown as we have what would have been a dream match back in the 80s, assuming it could have actually been booked. Tonight we have Brock Lesnar vs. Hulk Hogan in what could either make Lesnar look like a killer or wind up killing what little heat he’s built up over the last few months. Let’s get to it.
We open with a newsreel style video about Hogan’s career, which is somehow contained in about a minute. This switches to a much more modern look at Lesnar’s brief career, which is a pretty nice way to set up the match.
Opening sequence.
Kurt Angle vs. John Cena
Angle takes him down by the arm to start but Cena gets in a shoulder to put him on the floor for a breather. Back in and Angle sends him outside before a ram into the steps allows Cena to slap the steel instead of actually having his head touch it. Cena’s early comeback is cut off in a hurry via a belly to belly and Angle drives him into the corner as this is one sided so far.
A chinlock slows things down again and the rolling German suplexes make things even worse for Cena. The third is blocked though and Cena gets in a DDT for a breather. Another comeback is countered with the ankle lock but Cena rolls through that as well. Angle goes shoulder first into the post and here’s Benoit to Crossface Cena for the DQ.
Rating: C+. Not a great match or anything but Cena has hit the ground on fire and looks like he belongs in the ring with these guys. The key thing here is that Cena has no business hanging with someone like Angle but he does well enough to make it work, especially due to the intensity. He’s doing basic offense well enough and the intensity carries him even further, which is a great sign for him going forward.
Cue Mysterio, Guerrero and Edge for ensuing saves/beatdowns.
Post break Benoit and Guerrero yell a lot because Benoit is the best submission wrestler on the show. Angle shows up to protest but Eddie makes peace and proposes a six man for later. Angle: “That’s fine but I thought you wanted real competition.”
Mark Henry vs. Reverend D-Von
Henry is all evil by jumping the preacher from behind as I try to remember why in the world these two are fighting. D-Von trips him up though and gets in a double stomp, only to have Henry grab the boot to stop a regular stomp. Henry knocks Batista off the apron and hits a side kick (!?!?!) followed by a powerslam (that’s more like it) for the quick pin.
Batista beats Henry down but Rikishi makes the save, setting up a match.
Rikishi vs. Batista
Batista shrugs off some right hands and hits a full nelson slam to start fast. Some forearms to the back have Rikishi in trouble until Batista walks into a DDT. The charge is stopped but D-Von hits his buddy by mistake, setting up a superkick to give Rikishi the pin.
Batista is ticked off at the mistake.
Brock goes into Hogan’s locker room despite Heyman’s protests. After a break they go into the locker room with Brock asking if Hogan wants to do this. Not only does Hulk want to, but if he was Brock, he’d put the title shot on the line. Brock is in. Heyman: “WHAT DID YOU JUST DO???” He goes on about how this guy is different because Hogan has overcome the odds for twenty years. Brock thinks Heyman is losing confidence in him.
Torrie Wilson jumps Nidia. I’m sure the fact that Torrie is in lingerie is just a detail.
Billy and Chuck vs. Hurricane/Shannon Moore
These teams have been having issues on Velocity as of late. Hurricane trips Chuck down to start and a Shining Wizard gets two. Billy comes in from behind and hammers away on Shannon to take over. That doesn’t last long though as the hot tag brings in Hurricane for a failed chokeslam. Instead it’s a double flapjack for two on the superhero and Tazz makes sex jokes because that’s what you do when there’s a gay gimmick in the ring.
A double knockdown allows for the real hot tag to Shannon for the house cleaning as everything breaks down. Rico is sent to the floor (Tazz: “There go the sideburns!”) and Billy shoves him in the way of a Hurricane dive. Back in and Billy and Chuck load up a Doomsday Device (Code Red), only to have Shannon turn it into a victory roll for the pin.
Rating: C. Not bad here and again, it’s a good idea to have a new team win some matches. Well, I mean it would be if there were TITLES for them to win but this leaves you with a tag match for the sake of a tag match. That’s fine for some filler, but if this is supposed to be anything serious they need to make some major adjustments.
Edge, Mysterio and Cena are getting ready with Cena freaking Edge out a bit. Mysterio says he’ll take care of Angle tonight.
Kane is coming back. Shouldn’t that be on Raw? Or is he the subject of another “bidding war”?
Heyman can’t talk Stephanie into changing the stipulation for Lesnar vs. Hogan.
Kurt Angle/Eddie Guerrero/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/John Cena/Rey Mysterio
This has serious potential. Cena has a bad shoulder coming in. Thankfully we take the break BEFORE the opening bell but come back with this joined in progress. Eh I’ll take what I can get. Back with Angle working over Edge in the corner but Benoit walks into a flapjack. Mysterio comes in and hurricanranas Benoit out of the corner, only to be taken down into the corner for the heel beatdown sequence.
Again it doesn’t last long though as Rey headscissors him down and brings Cena back in for a tilt-a-whirl slam. Everything breaks down for a bit and Cena winds up getting beaten down again with Benoit picking him apart as only Benoit can. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Angle hits a rare spinebuster for two.
As is always the case though, the heels make the mistake of going for their finisher, allowing Cena to superplex Eddie down. The hot tag brings in Edge and everything breaks down again with everyone getting to hit a single spot before someone else takes them out. I love that kind of sequence. The Angle Slam drops Cena but Kurt’s trash talk sets up the 619 into the West Coast Pop for the pin.
Rating: C+. This could have easily gone on longer but I don’t think they wanted to have Cena out there that long, which I can understand. The faces looked great here and I don’t think the heels really need to prove themselves that much. You can see the Smackdown Six being formed though and that’s nothing but great for all of us.
Angle is livid about getting pinned by a 12 year old and promises to take care of Rey later. He accurately points out that Mysterio wasn’t legal so the pin shouldn’t have counted.
XXX plug.
Jamie Noble/Nidia vs. Torrie Wilson/Kidman
Genders have to match here. Thankfully the men start after breaking up an attempt at a catfight. Kidman dropkicks Noble into the corner as Tazz reminds us that Noble is the Cruiserweight Champion. Jamie is sent outside but dives back in to save Nidia from the spanking. Torrie comes in for some slapping but Jamie trips her up, allowing Nidia to grab a rollup for the pin. This was nothing.
Stacy and Dawn Marie are catty to each other and sex with Vince is implied. Dawn gives Stacy some papers to give to Stephanie but she hides them under the couch.
After a break, Stephanie comes in to get the papers but Stacy says she sent Dawn after Stephanie. It’s a ruse of course and Bischoff pops up to take the papers while Stephanie laughs. I love that Stacy’s plan doesn’t include waiting until the cameras are gone.
Hogan knows Lesnar is stronger and younger but he has the Hulkamaniacs in his corner and is ready to fight.
Hulk Hogan vs. Brock Lesnar
The winner gets Rock at Summerslam. We get the big staredown to start and Hogan can’t do the shove out of the lockup. On the other hand, Lesnar shoves Hogan so hard that the bandana flies off. Brock’s slam is no sold and he misses a charge into the corner. Hulk drops the elbows for little effect as we hear about Hogan slamming Andre. Lesnar takes a breather on the floor and uses a Heyman distraction to crotch Hogan against the post.
Back in and the beating continues as Heyman keeps shouting HE’S DIFFERENT. For some reason Lesnar heads outside to set up the announcers’ table, earning himself a ram into the post. Cole: “That is why Hogan has been successful for twenty years in this business!” Because his opponents are idiots? A powerbomb gets two for Lesnar but it’s already Hulk Up time.
The big boot is pretty much no sold so Hogan does it again and drops the leg but the kickout puts Hulk on his feet. A third big boot looks to set up a second legdrop but Heyman grabs the boot. There’s the F5 but Brock doesn’t cover. Instead we hit the bearhug with Hogan bleeding from the mouth for the knockout.
Rating: D+. The ending was a really good symbolic way to have Hogan lose as he always survived something like that but the build to it was really lacking. This felt like it didn’t have a middle with Hogan dominating to start, Lesnar getting in a little offense and then the finish. It’s far from terrible and it accomplished the necessary goal but it was hardly anything special.
Post match Lesnar chairs Hogan in the head, putting him out of action until February. Lesnar rubs the blood on his chest as the ROCKY chants go nowhere to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. It’s not a great show but the important thing here is you can see what they’re trying to accomplish. There’s clearly a goal going forward and that’s really all that matters at this point. The youth movement is in full swing and with Hogan presumably out of the way for a long time, there’s a good chance that we could get somewhere in the near future. That being said, there’s a lot of bad stuff going on as well, by which I mean Stephanie vs. Bischoff. They kept it shorter this week but dang it brings the show to a grinding halt when it shows up. There’s good stuff here but it’s not quite good enough.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
This was requested recently but it was written over five years ago, meaning it might not be up to my usual standards.
Smackdown
Date: May 24, 2001
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
This is a request I got a few months ago and got too busy to get around to until now. This is the TLC 3 night with Benoit/Jericho defending against three other teams. Other than that it’s another episode of Smackdown without much to show for it. HHH is injured and Austin is the top dog in the company as a heel. The Alliance is coming and Austin would be getting ready either for Judgment Day in a few days or King of the Ring in a month or so. I’m not entirely sure. Let’s get to it.
This is the Thursday after HHH and Austin lost the tag titles so this is the first title defense for the new champions. We open with a recap of the AWESOME tag title match where Austin and HHH lost the belts (can’t wait to get to that one)
Theme song opens us up.
Here’s Vince to start the show. He guarantees that we’re going to have an historic night tonight. He calls the title change a miracle and the fans don’t seem to agree. We hear about HHH’s quad injury and the fans cheer. This might be the first time we hear that it’ll be 4-6 months that he’s out. In reality it would be closer to 7-8. He announced the main event: TLC 3 with Benoit/Jericho defending against the Hardys, Edge/Christian and the Dudleys.
X-Pac vs. Eddie Guerrero
Eddie cost Pac the European Title on Mondays o this is a revenge rematch. Eddie takes him down quickly to start as the fans don’t really care as much as the match starts. Pac takes Eddie down and the fans aren’t pleased. He sends Eddie to the floor and hits Chrsitian’s springboard dive over the top to the floor.
Pac slams him down but something like a swanton misses and here comes Eddie. He gets some basic stuff including the slingshot headbutt. Pac breaks the momentum and tries the Bronco Buster but Eddie moves. Eddie goes up but takes an enziguri followed by something like a dominator off the top for the kind of surprising pin.
Rating: C-. The match was ok enough but they weren’t clicking out there. Even Tazz said that Eddie looked a bit off. Also it’s kind of cool to see Pac getting a clean pin over someone like that, especially with something other than the X-Factor. Not a great match at all but it wasn’t horrible or anything. Eddie would be sent to rehab later on in the month for pain killer addiction so this was one of his last appearances for awhile.
Tajiri is in Regal’s office and Japanese is spoken. Oh this is his debut. Regal says Tajiri should pay some dues in the form of being the Commissioner’s (Regal) friend. First off, no more bowing as it’s a racial stereotype. Now go get my tea and crumpets.
We recap Angle celebrating the recovery of his Olympic medals but then Shane showed up to ruin the celebration. This set up an AWESOME street fight at King of the Ring. Kurt beat up Shane and Vince offered Kurt an IC Title shot as an apology. Shane cost him the title.
Kurt is looking for Shane.
Spike tries to talk the Dudleys out of hating Molly because he loves her. D-Von guarantees she’s going through a table sooner or later. The more famous Dudleys say they have more important things to worry about, like TLC. They part ways.
Molly is chilling in the back and Kurt comes up to ask about Shane. He threatens her for lying and says she’s waiting on someone. Kurt makes fun of her and tells her to go find Shane. Spike pops up and calls Molly his girlfriend and a match is made for later. Scratch the later. Let’s do it RIGHT NOW.
Spike Dudley vs. Kurt Angle
I mean literally now as they walk to the ring in the same shot. They both come through the crowd for some reason. Spike calls Kurt a chicken and tries to use speed but jumps into a suplex. Kurt unleashes the suplexes and Spike is in pain. It’s so weird hearing Cole as a face commentator. Angle Slam off the steps kills Spike and the ankle lock ends it quickly. This was just a squash.
Kurt won’t let go of the ankle so Molly comes out for the save. Kurt gets in her face so the male Hollies come out for the save. Back to the ankle lock on Spike and he’s in pain.
Post break Kurt says he’s proud of what he did to Spike. He blames Shane for what just happened.
Dean Malenko vs. Raven
Malenko is a ladies man here. Perry Saturn is with Malenko and is a bit loopy now. Raven starts fast and gets a pair of backdrops before setting up for the Raven Effect which is countered. Deano Machineo works on the leg but Raven fights back. Saturn slides in a chair which isn’t used. Saturn’s girlfriend Terri distracts the referee and Saturn hooks a neckbreaker on Raven, letting Malenko get the cheap pin. This was nothing, again.
Raven fights them both off and DDTs Saturn on the chair.
Trish comes in to see Steve Blackman and changes behind a screen. Blackman is intrigued.
After a break Trish is still getting ready and asks Blackman to help her with her top. Blackman has a stick with him at the time. If you can’t figure out what happens next, go watch an Austin Powers movie.
Here’s Austin to complain about life in general. He wants the fans to shut up as he has a sore throat so he can’t talk loud. If they keep calling him the opening in a donkey he’s leaving. And there he goes. Ok he changed his mind. He blames HHH for the title loss, saying he was about to break the Liontamer and hit a Stunner. Then when he was about to kick out of the Lionsault HHH accidentally hit him in the belly with a sledgehammer.
The other problem Austin has is with Taker who popped into the dressing room and says it’s not over yet. You know, after losing to Austin twice in title matches. Now we can talk about Austin. He says he’s a fighting champion and he says he’ll put it on the line to anyone but not here in this town because they don’t deserve to see him in action.
Tajiri brings in tea and a ton of crumpets for Regal. Rhyno pops in and demands a Hardcore Title match but Regal says no. Rhyno says ok then give me Austin and the WWF Title. That’s a no also. Then how about Kane for the Intercontinental Title. Regal says no one wants to face Kane. Rhyno says I do and that’s about it. So you can just demand title matches now?
Steve Blackman/Grandmaster Sexay/Trish Stratus vs. Ivory/Goodfather/Bull Buchanan
The RTC would be gone very soon after this. Richards has been thrown out of the team. Buchanan vs. Blackman to start us off. After Blackman kicks him around a lot Ivory tags herself in. Goodfather comes in to meet Trish so there’s the tag to Grandmaster. Why is he teaming with Blackman? They were in the dark match at Mania and I guess they’re together for an odd pairing? It’s really just a filler match as Grandmaster does some basic stuff to Buchanan (lot of tags in this) before tagging in Blackman (see what I mean?). Everything breaks down, axe kick to Blackman, top rope legdrop to Buchanan, pin.
Rating: C. Eh all things considered this was fine. It’s more or less the final nail in the coffin of the RTC and that’s all it needed to be. Trish looked good in her shorts and was getting a lot more competent in the ring all the time. Not a great match or anything but it was fast paced and did its job so I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt.
Post match Trish and Steve dance.
Dean and Terri aren’t sure how Saturn is. He comes out of the trainers’ room and is insane now.
Edge and Christian say they’ve been in these matches and have a habit of winning them.
Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. Rhyno
Kane won the title at Judgment Day from HHH. It’s a good thing they changed the title when they did. Kane still has a bad arm. He takes over to start and hits some of his favorites, such as the side slam and clothesline for two. Rhyno hits a running shoulder to the back while Kane is in the corner but he gets his head taken off by a clothesline for two again. Rhyno works on the back and hooks a camel clutch but Kane stands up and hits an electric chair drop. British Bulldog style powerslam gets two. Rhyno gets most of a belly to back suplex and takes over. And scratch that as the missed Gore sets up the chokeslam to end it.
Rating: C. Nice hard hitting match here which is the right idea with guys like these. Rhyno never really got a huge push in WWE but he’s pretty good at his job: being the tough guy who could give you a quick and good match. For a three-four minute TV match, there’s not much more you can ask for given who was in there.
The Canadian Chris’s talk about winning the titles and keeping them tonight.
Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys vs. Edge/Christian vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho
Think this will be awesome? Everyone goes after the champions immediately and Edge throws in a ladder. Expect a lot of play by play here as there’s not much else you can do. Edge and Christian (Dang I can’t call them the Canadians here) go up but get pulled down, foiling their attempted fast one. The Hardys and Dudleys are in the ring with a ladder being put in front of Bubba. He throws it back at Jeff to counter Poetry in Motion.
The champions take over with ladders but their fellow Canadians take them down. The fans want tables. There needs to be a crack addiction center for table lovers. Matt powerbombs Christian off the ladder and gets in a fight with Edge on top of the ladder. Benoit shoves them off and then gets beaten up by Bubba for his efforts. Jericho puts Matt on a table on the floor and Benoit goes up. He dives off in a huge swan dive which hits the table and no Matt. That was in the Smackdown opening montage forever.
Back in the ring Jericho bulldogs Bubba off the top of the ladder and Benoit hasn’t moved yet. Tazz goes to check on him so you can tell it’s a big deal. Yeah he leaves on a stretcher as we go to a break. Back with two ladders in the ring and Edge climbs one. Jericho comes up for the save and puts Edge in the Walls on top of the ladder which looks awesome. Christian comes up and shoves Jericho off the top and onto a buckle.
The Hardys shove off the other Canadians and it’s Hardys vs. Dudleys. Works for me. D-Von hiptosses Matt off and Jeff gets suplexed to put everyone down. We get a highlight package to fill in some of the time with everyone down. And here comes Benoit. Benoit goes up but Edge and Christian make the save. They pull out some chairs and it’s Conchairto time. Benoit covers his head but takes two chair shots to the ribs, which were announced as bruised or perhaps broken.
Edge gets taken down by What’s Up and it’s Table Time. Jericho pops D-Von with one and then Christian pops Jericho with one. With a table still in the ring, Christian goes up a ladder in a corner and D-Von chases him up. You know it’s coming. There’s a Super 3D off the ladder which knocks both Dudleys out as well for some reason. The Hardys set up a ladder outside and it’s the big one. Matt caves in Ray’s head and Jeff goes a climbing. Using another ladder Jeff hits that jumping legdrop over the big ladder through Bubba through the table. There’s your huge spot of the match.
Matt and D-Von both have ladders and it’s a race up there. They slug it out up there but Matt gets a Twist of Fate off the top. It looked worse too as Matt pulled too hard and D-Von landed on top of his head. FREAKING OW MAN! Matt goes up but Jericho makes a last second save. He sets a ladder but Edge climbs up another one and spears Jericho down. When I was a kid I wanted Jericho to reach out and grab it on the way down. Benoit realizes he’s still alive and climbs up to win the titles. It’s as out of nowhere as it sounds.
Rating: B+. Oh come on it’s TLC with the three teams plus the Canadians in there. Did you expect something other than great? It’s a smaller scale than TLC 2 but that’s Wrestlemania so that’s kind of a high expectation to reach. Still though, this was some great carnage and the usual great spots. 8 people in there is a bit much and I think that’s what’s slowing it down. Also it needs JR to be freaking out to be a classic but we can let that slide as it’s not their faults.
The champs pose on the ladder with their titles to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. You get a free 20 minute TLC match so this show is automatically good. The rest of it is pretty average but nothing is too horrible and like I said, YOU GET TLC ON THIS SHOW. This was one of the really good shows before the Alliance came in and threw everything up in the air. The rest isn’t worth watching, but check out TLC, although it’s not as good as I or II.
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Monday Night Raw – August 5, 2002: This is Worse Than Katie Vick
Monday Night Raw Date: August 5, 2002
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
Summerslam continues to approach and that means we’re in need of some major matches. The big story around here though is someone attacking Shawn Michaels, sending HHH right back into caring about his former best friend who he just happens to beat up every now and then. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap looks at Shawn Michaels being attacked and everyone being a suspect, set to Rey Mysterio’s old WCW music for some reason.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Chris Jericho to get things going. This is his show now and only a certified genius like Eric Bischoff would bring him to Raw. After calling the fans losers (you’re better than that Chris), he says Bischoff gets the difference in talent between Jericho and Ric Flair. JR: “I just totally disagree with that.” HHH cuts him off because we haven’t seen these two fight enough this year. HHH suggests that Jericho had something to do with Shawn’s attack as a way to get back at HHH for the loss at Wrestlemania. That…..really doesn’t make sense but neither does most of what HHH says.
Jericho says it wasn’t him and brings up the problem with HHH’s theory: he just beat up Shawn a few weeks ago and now it would hurt HHH to have someone else attack Michaels? Jericho accuses HHH of being the attacker but HHH says he was in the ring when it happened. That’s not exactly beyond a reasonable doubt but I’ll take what I can get.
Anyway, HHH is going to find out who did it because he Pedigreed Shawn for his own good. HHH leaves and is quickly replaced by Rob Van Dam, whose chants annoy Jericho all over again. Rob is here for the official welcome to Raw and to ask Jericho what he’s been smoking. A match is set up due to Jericho getting annoyed at the RVD chants.
Big Show vs. Bubba Ray Dudley
Tables match. Show has slightly altered gear this week as the one piece swimsuit look now ends in shorts. So he’s wearing a woman’s one piece swimsuit but is self-conscious about his thighs. Bubba slugs away to start but gets caught in a good looking belly to belly. Some shots on the floor stagger Show for a few seconds until Show beats him down again. There’s a side slam to Bubba and it’s already time for a table.
Show kicks the table in half by mistake so Bubba folds it up and hits him in the head. That goes nowhere so here’s Trish to distract Show (the leather skirt helps with that), allowing Spike to come in and hit the big man with a football helmet. Show staggers into a flapjack through the table to give Bubba the win.
Rating: D-. As you might expect, Trish’s outfit was the only good thing about this one. I have no idea why Show is jobbing to Bubba Ray Dudley and a football helmet but I’m sure it’s going to result in Bubba getting a push because THAT’S what the world is waiting for. There’s something to be said for trying something new but there’s no real logic behind picking someone whose push is guaranteed to be a failure.
The Un-Americans run down America and the Undertaker. This involves talking about slaughtering innocent people in response to 9/11 and yeah, that’s too far. Like, way too far. Sgt. Slaughter comes in and offers to show them some real American aggression. This is going to be a very, very long night.
We look back at Moolah and Mae Young getting beaten down last week.
Hardcore Title: Tommy Dreamer vs. Bradshaw
Dreamer is defending and this seems to take JR by surprise as he says this was coming later in the show. They actually start fighting in the back, which is an interesting idea for the division for a change. Therefore, they’re almost immediately in the arena to make sure this is your run of the mill hardcore match. JR calls this a Raw exclusive and I wouldn’t brag about that.
Bradshaw beats him around the arena for a few near falls until Dreamer pulls him into the post. After some more weapons shots, Dreamer gets tossed with a middle rope fall away slam. A powerbomb gets two for Bradshaw and Dreamer gets the same off a shot to the head. Dreamer DDTs him on the floor for the pin and the title.
Rating: F. Nothing interesting and nothing new here, save for JR bragging about the division. It says a lot about the show when the announcers don’t seem to know what’s going on with the format. The division is so far beyond a waste of time at this point and I have no idea why so many of these people are still employed.
William Regal and Christopher Nowinski are talking about their tag match later when they run into Molly Holly and her new friend Victoria. Nowinski likes the idea of de-virginizing Molly and has to read the back of Victoria’s trunks to remember her name. Funny, but still rather disturbing.
Goldust complains to Booker T. about Mike Myers stealing his idea for Goldmember. As retaliation, Goldust introduces Minidust, who promptly enjoys Booker’s leg. Thankfully HHH (What am I saying?) comes in and accuses Booker of attacking Shawn. Booker isn’t happy.
Howard Finkel asks Bischoff if he can challenge Lillian Garcia to be the official ring announcer. Bischoff actually agrees because WE’RE HAVING A STORY ABOUT BATTLING RING ANNOUNCERS! Were the referees busy this week? Fink has a letter to deliver to Bischoff and it turns out to be from Stephanie, listing off various talents appearing on this week’s show. If nothing else we get to hear Fink do his big introductions voice which I’ll never get tired of hearing.
Kane is coming back. Oh yeah. He’s been gone.
Test vs. Sgt. Slaughter
Test kicks him in the face before the bell and there’s no match. Seriously that’s the whole thing.
Booker T./Goldust vs. William Regal/Christopher Nowinski
Goldust punches Nowinski in the face to start and follows up with a running hip attack because that’s how Goldust’s offense works. The bad guys start working on Goldust’s arm to take over as the fans tells Chris that Harvard sucks. Lawler starts talking about Molly wanting to sleep with Nowinski and those old awkward feelings start up again. Regal is finally sent into the corner for the hot tag off to Booker so house can be cleaned. Everything breaks down with both teams getting near falls off secondary finishers. An atomic drop into the ax kick puts Regal away.
Rating: C. This was your standard tag team formula match, making it by far and away the best thing on the show thus far. Booker and Goldust are a legitimately entertaining tag team and therefore they’re stuck spinning their wheels while HHH accuses Booker of attacking Shawn for his weekly table scraps.
HHH accuses the Un-Americans of attacking Shawn and hits a table with the hammer.
Trish Stratus vs. Victoria
Molly is on commentary and oh my this is going to get rough in a hurry. Twenty seconds into the match, Lawler flat out asks Molly if she’s a virgin. Lawler: “Do you have a fondness for cherries?” The match starts slowly and Victoria hurts her knee as the cherry jokes continue. Naturally it’s a ruse so Victoria can kick Trish in the face, which greatly pleases Molly. JR says it makes her sound “multi-orgasmic”. Trish chops away and now let’s talk about how far Spike got with Molly. A sunset flip is reversed and Victoria grabs the ropes for the pin.
Rating: F. This has nothing to do with the match. Lawler was as disturbing as I’ve ever heard him here and JR didn’t even do much to stop him. There’s no excuse for this story to exist and it’s absolutely disgusting. I know Katie Vick is still coming up this year but this might be even worse as it’s about a real person and is supposed to be from a face.
Show is annoyed at HHH accusing him too.
Tag Team Titles: Hardy Boys vs. Un-Americans
Storm and Christian are defending. Matt and Christian slug it out to start before it’s off to Jeff for the high pitch pop. The heels take over with some double teaming but Jeff scores with the Whisper in the Wind. The hot tag brings in Matt for the Twist of Fate but Christian gets in a cheap shot to give Storm two. Jeff dives off the barricade to take Christian down again and the Swanton connects, only to have Christian pull the referee out for the DQ.
Rating: D. Another horribly uninteresting match here with the Hardys not exactly putting in a ton of effort. The Un-Americans are fine for a basic heel team and they can wrestle a good enough match but you need more than four minutes against an unmotivated team. Nothing to see here but at least Jeff is getting a response.
Test goes after the Hardys until Undertaker makes the save. The Un-Americans bail so Undertaker steals a police motorcycle and gives chase.
Here’s Bischoff to deal with the Howard and Lillian issue, which the fans didn’t seem to know existed. First of all though, Eric promises a surprise for HHH later on. I’m so thrilled. Anyway, the announcers take turns plugging the new movie XXX and of course we see a trailer. Finkel implies that Lillian enjoys servicing multiple sailors and this time he’s the heel, unlike ANYONE who makes fun of Molly for being a virgin. Bischoff sends out 3 Minute Warning to destroy Lillian because this is supposed to be entertaining.
Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam
Jericho starts fast and hammers away in the corner but gets monkey flipped for two. Seriously who goes for a cover after a monkey flip? A slingshot flip dive puts Jericho down again until he grabs a release German suplex to really take over. Jericho goes for the turnbuckle pad but settles for a spinning kick to the face instead. The Lionsault hits knees and Van Dam’s Rolling Thunder is good for two. Rob reverses the Walls attempt into a small package for two and there’s the ref bump. Chris chairs him down but Flair comes in with a chair to Jericho’s head, setting up the Five Star for the pin.
Rating: B-. Match of the night by far here and that’s something that this show was dying for at this point. Flair vs. Jericho should be a lot of fun and Van Dam can do….something for Summerslam. The match was pretty good but this show is just so far beyond saving that it doesn’t matter at this point.
Bischoff is on his way to the ring with a surprise for HHH. This is perhaps the most unnecessary scene I can remember in wrestling this year.
Here’s Bischoff to introduce HHH for his big surprise. The surprise is a live feed from San Antonio so HHH can talk to Shawn. They’re cool at the moment and it seems that the Pedigree is forgotten. We get to hear them make up on air until HHH finally gets to the point by asking if Shawn remembers anything.
That’s a big negative so HHH promises to find out who did it. We have a break in the case though: the Greensboro police have sent Shawn some security footage, which he hasn’t actually watched yet. We see the video, it’s really blurry, Shawn enhances it, and it’s HHH. I mean, you could see that before it was enhanced but let’s stretch this out even longer. HHH admits it (well he kind of had to) and apparently his motive was to show that Shawn needed HHH’s protection. From HHH you mean?
Anyway the doctors have told Shawn that he’ll make a 100% recovery. Say by….Summerslam? HHH: “What are you going to do? Talk me to death?” Shawn wants to fight at Summerslam, even though HHH asks what happens if Shawn can’t take care of his family anymore. Michaels doesn’t really care and the fight is set for Summerslam to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. This is a rather interesting case where I remember the ending very differently. At the time, I LOVED the idea of Shawn coming back to face HHH in a fight at Summerslam but that’s all I remember about about the segment and really the show in general. While the announcement was a good idea and came off well, almost EVERYTHING else was a mess and really kept everything from having a chance.
Before we get to the rest of this mess, let’s look at the big angle. Now keep in mind that HHH knew the whole idea throughout the show. I get the idea of wanting to put up a front but what in the world was the point of doing that if you’re going to do the big reveal just a week later? Set this up, wait a few weeks and THEN do the HHH reveal. Either that or just cut out the whole Pedigree thing from a few weeks ago. What’s the point of having HHH run around for a week and waste our time? Did he really think he was going to get away with it? I know he has delusions of grandeur but this was a stretch even for him.
That leaves us with the rest of the show, which included a battle of the ring announcers, a horrible table match, an even worse hardcore match, Minidust and finally, an absolutely unnecessary and deplorable batch of commentary during the Trish vs. Victoria match. There’s a difference between bad wrestling and a ridiculous waste of time with this one being far more of the latter than the former.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown – August 1, 2002: The Summer of Stephanie
Smackdown Date: August 1, 2002
Location: Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
It’s back to the blue show where Brock Lesnar is a monster and everyone else is just hoping he doesn’t come after them. On top of that though we have a new face force comprised of John Cena, Rey Mysterio and Edge, who cleaned house to end last week’s show. That being said, their opponents are now gone due to Bischoff vs. Stephanie. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Rey Mysteiro vs. Tajiri
Mysterio baseball slides him during the entrances and scores with a headscissors. Tajiri shows him how to really kick someone in the face and bends the back around the post. A baseball slide in the Tree of Woe makes things even worse for Rey as we’re just waiting on the big comeback here.
Back up and Mysterio flips into a tornado DDT for two, only to get caught in the Tarantula. Another hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb but Rey comes right back with the Six Nineteen (Tazz dubs it the 619). The West Coast Pop is broken up but Mysterio comes back with a top rope version for the quick pin, earning the crowd reaction you would expect from a Mysterio match.
Rating: C. That’s more like it and amazingly enough, Chavo Guerrero wasn’t the best choice to face Mysterio in his debut. This wasn’t great or anything but it popped the crowd multiple times and Tajiri looked good in defeat. It’s clear that Mysterio is going to be a big deal around here, especially with the Cruiserweight Title not being the hottest thing in the world at the moment.
Here’s Kurt Angle with something to say. He owes us an apology for scaring everyone last week by making us think he might be leaving. Who would even watch the show if he left? Last week he had to blow off some steam due to that punk kid Brock Lesnar. I mean, Lesnar only won an NCAA Title. Angle: “Where are YOUR gold medals???” Lesnar got him disqualified and then had THE NERVE to suggest that Angle was done. That means a challenge and the fans really like that idea.
Instead they get Hulk Hogan (with no music) to make fun of Angle for whining too much. Ignore the fact that Angle was cutting a pretty face promo actually. Hogan wants a piece of Lesnar too but Angle thinks the best Hogan could do is challenge him to a game of shuffleboard.
A fight is teased but here’s Stephanie to say we’ll have a match instead. Thanks for that Steph. I’m so thankful for the completely unnecessary cameo. Anyway they fight tonight and the winner gets Lesnar. Angle promises to make him tap so Hogan punches him to the floor. Again: no need for Stephanie here but she’s going to be here all night.
Bischoff is in Stephanie’s office to brag about stealing talent. Eric thinks they can be friends but it’s just an excuse for Stephanie to shout SECURITY over and over in that loud voice that only she likes. We get MAD STEPHANIE MODE as he’s tossed. As a bonus, we follow them through the halls as she tells security to get rid of him. For some reason he asks what she has for a main event and it’s Edge and Rock.
Brock Lesnar vs. Mark Henry
Henry wants to fight Lesnar face to face. Lesnar bounces off of him to start so a hard clothesline gets two on Henry. A suplex gets the same for Mark but Brock belly to bellies him down. The F5 is enough for the easy pin.
In the back, Lesnar tells Hogan that he wants to face him next week.
Billy and Chuck consider splitting up because there are no titles for them to win. Rico comes in and says it’s ok which sends the team away. John Cena comes in to say the boys are in trouble but Rico makes fun of his fashion sense. Gay jokes ensue.
Angle runs into Lesnar, who wants Kurt to win tonight. All three of these segments were in one long shot. I kind of like that actually.
Kurt Angle vs. Hulk Hogan
The winner gets Lesnar next week. Hogan shoves him around to start but is easily taken down into a front facelock. For some reason Angle lets go and lets Hulk grab a wristlock followed by a hiptoss. This is more basic wrestling than Hogan has done in years. They head outside for the brawling and that’s much more Hogan’s style.
Back in and Angle drives some shoulders to the ribs in the corner but let’s talk about Bischoff and Stephanie! This time it’s asking whose mind Bischoff poisoned (seriously) to get inside. I mean, the fact that he works for the company doesn’t get him past security in the first place? Kurt hammers away in the corner before grabbing a chinlock to give Hogan a breather.
It’s Hulk Up time and, after escaping the ankle lock, the big boot puts Angle down. Amazingly enough he can pop up from a simple kick to the face and grabs the Angle Slam for two. The ankle lock results in a ref bump but Hogan kicks the ensuing chair shot back into Kurt’s face. Now the leg connects for no count so here’s Lesnar for the distraction, allowing Angle to get in that chair shot…..just as the referee wakes up to draw the DQ.
Rating: D+. Actually not horrible here as they just had Hogan stand around while Angle did most of the work. It’s also a good idea to not have Hogan pin Angle when you can accomplish the same ending with a simple DQ. Hogan jobbing to Lesnar should do Brock some good as they try to make Lesnar ready for Summerslam at a break neck pace.
Hogan takes the F5.
Rikishi vs. Revered D-Von
The big man runs D-Von over to start until Batista grabs Rikishi’s leg. A legdrop to the back of Rikishi’s head has D-Von in control and he sends Rikishi into the barricade for good measure. Batista demands punishment and seems pleased with a middle rope legdrop as WE TALK ABOUT BISCHOFF AND STEPHANIE AGAIN. D-Von goes up top for the Swan Dive and lands right between Rikishi’s legs because that’s so funny. A DDT to D-Von and a superkick to Batista sets up the Rump Shaker to give Rikishi the pin.
Rating: D. Sweet goodness these two are so boring. As usual, there’s nothing to see from either of them but yet they somehow manage to be on the show almost every week. At least Batista didn’t job to Rikishi, whose extended push I still fail to understand. It’s a bad match of course but you have to expect that given who was in there.
Rikishi gets beaten down after the match.
Stephanie yells at Stacy Keibler for letting Bischoff in. This better not happen again. Stephanie is just mad that Stacy wound up with Test isn’t she? Stacy smiles as Stephanie leaves.
Here are Nidia and Jamie Noble to make fun of the crowd. Basically they’re rich now and don’t have to deal with these rednecks. Anyway, Jamie isn’t cool with Cole making eyes at Nidia so he has her kiss Cole for a VERY long time, including doing “that trick with the tongue”. Jamie calls her off because the crowd is liking it too much. If Cole treats them nice from now on, he’ll let Nidia give Cole some more lovin.
Kidman, Hardcore Holly and Mike Awesome are watching a tape of Shawn Michaels getting attacked on Monday when STEPHANIE comes in to ask why they’re watching this instead of Smackdown. That’s why they’re not in any main events: they’re not paying attention. From now on, there is NO WATCHING SMACKDOWN. Why do I have a feeling this is an inside joke that isn’t connecting with the audience? Not that it matters as it gets Stephanie another appearance.
John Cena vs. Rico
This would have been a much better, and very different, match down in OVW (Rico was awesome back then). Rico slaps him in the face to start and fires off his kicks in the corner until Cena gets in a spinebuster. A tilt-a-whirl powerslam gets two but Cena gets dropkicked out of the air. Not that it matters as the ProtoBomb ends Rico a few seconds later. Not much to see here.
Billy and Chuck, seemingly fine again, come out for the big beatdown.
Bischoff has a ticket and sits in the front row. In an unimportant detail, he has an upper deck seat but pays off a fan to upgrade. I’ve always wondered why there’s always an empty front row seat for this angle.
Back from a break with Bischoff starting a WATCH RAW chant and guess who comes out for a chat. Apparently she misspoke when she said the main event was Rock vs. Edge because it’s actually the two of them teaming together to face the newest Smackdown talent acquisitions.
The Rock/Edge vs. Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero
Cole: “WHAT A COUP FOR STEPHANIE!” Benoit brings the Intercontinental Title with him to Smackdown. Bischoff jumps the barricade and gets in a fight with security, allowing Stephanie to demand (by screeching of course) that he be thrown out of her building. Eddie goes after Rock to start as Cole talks about them having a war a few weeks back. That sounds like someone has been watching Raw lately. No wonder Cole hasn’t been in any main events lately.
It’s off to Benoit who gets suplexed for two as the announcers compare the talent stealing. Apparently the Tag Team Champions plus Chris Jericho and Test pale in comparison to Benoit and Guerrero. Rock gets taken back into the corner for the double stomping until a faceplant drops Eddie.
The hot tag brings in Edge but let’s talk about Stephanie getting in all those great lines as Bischoff was taken away. The beating doesn’t last long though as Benoit gets in a cheap shot to take over on Edge for the real heat sequence. Guerrero works on a leglock and it’s off to Benoit for the rolling German suplexes. We hit a half crab Liontamer (cool looking move) for a bit before Edge has to fight out of a double superplex.
A top rope sunset flip gets two on Eddie but Benoit is right there to break up the tag again. Edge powerbombs Eddie out of the corner and there’s the hot tag to Rock, who doesn’t get the pop you would expect. Everything breaks down and the Rock Bottom plants Eddie. Cue Lesnar for a distraction though, allowing the Crossface to make Rock tap completely clean.
Rating: B+. Heck of a match here and the fact that the pin was entirely clean (well, almost entirely clean) makes it work even more. Rock isn’t going to lose anything by tapping to the Intercontinental Champion and it helps build up his match with Lesnar, which needs all the help it can get at this point. Eddie vs. Edge could be awesome stuff too.
Hogan hits Lesnar with a chair to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. The main event pulls this one from out of the abyss because otherwise it’s one of the weakest episodes the show has ever done. I know I’ve harped on it a lot but the big problem here is Stephanie, who comes off like the annoying kid who keeps shouting “HEY! DON’T FORGET ABOUT ME!” every five minutes while the adults try to do something important. It’s often a case of here she is again in a cameo that doesn’t need to exist and that gets old in a hurry.
Other than that though, the wrestling really didn’t have much to offer. Main event aside, this was a really dull show that didn’t advance much as the bigger story for Summerslam is over on Raw. They’re also not doing much to hide the fact that Lesnar is getting the title at the pay per view and that makes the build a little weird. Rock is really just here to be beaten and while it’s going to be a big moment, it’s still a strange way to get to the pay per view.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – July 29, 2002: The Turn After the Turn Before the Turn
Monday Night Raw Date: July 29, 2002
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
We’re officially in the HHH Era on Raw but unfortunately he doesn’t really have a lot to do yet. Last week HHH debuted on the show and turned heel by beating up Shawn Michaels, but there’s absolutely no way that’s going to lead to a match anytime soon of course. With about a month left before Summerslam, the card is in need of some matches in a hurry. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap looks at Shawn and HHH from last week, which is almost the only thing worth talking about. At least it wasn’t Stephanie vs. Eric again.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Bischoff to get things going and he’s already talking about Stephanie. She stole Lesnar last week and this week he’s got a knockout of his own. Here are the newest members of the Raw roster: Christian, Lance Storm and Test, the Un-Americans. So….what about that whole building up tag teams over on Smackdown? Total waste of time for the sake of Stephanie vs. Bischoff? Good to know.
Storm points to the upside flag Test is carrying, which stands for America being in distress. Let’s look at some of those American icons, such as Elvis Presley, a fat drug addict who died on the toilet. We hear similar complaints about Marilyn Monroe, Babe Ruth and John Wayne (JR: “NOW WAIT A MINUTE!”). The champs don’t think much of America, save for Bischoff of course.
A fired up Shawn Michaels of all people cuts them off and says he wants to exercise his rights as an American citizen to beat HHH from one side of this arena to the other. Shawn doesn’t want to hear from some Canucks who are still mad that he beat up Bret Hart. If Bischoff doesn’t bring HHH to him, he’ll go find HHH himself. Storm says Shawn will get what’s coming to him. Did Shawn really need to come out here at this point? It’s not like these segments couldn’t be split up.
Bischoff is talking to Eddie Guerrero when a messenger comes up and says a woman in a limo has sent for him. Eric isn’t interested and says she can wait. I’m thinking…..Linda?
Booker T. vs. Eddie Guerrero
Booker starts fast with a flapjack for an early near fall as Lawler wants to know what happened to Booker’s bad back. Fair question actually. Eddie remembers it as well and forearms Booker in the back to take over. A one armed camel clutch keeps Booker in trouble and it’s time for some Spanish trash talk.
Eddie unhooks the turnbuckle pad and it’s time for the comeback, including a clothesline for two. As expected, Booker sends Eddie pretty close to the buckle (it wasn’t clear if he knew about the pad being gone) and hits an ax kick to the side of the head (Eddie wasn’t bent over) for the pin.
Rating: C. The ending was a bit off but the match got a little more time than usual and let Booker get a win instead of losing all over again. There’s quite the midcard being built around here and they actually have a title to fight over. If one of them could, I don’t know, head towards the main event, things might get interesting for a change.
Moolah and Mae Young are in the limo.
Shawn goes HHH hunting but finds Booker and Goldust instead. Booker isn’t cool with Shawn throwing him out of the NWO but Shawn says it was business. That sounds like an invitation to a fight and Goldust can dig that. Sucka.
Trish Stratus/Bubba Ray Dudley vs. William Regal/Molly Holly
Rematch from last week but Regal is injured, meaning we have a replacement.
Trish Stratus/Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Big Show/Molly Holly
Lawler slips up and implies that Molly is good looking before remembering to be a face and pretend she’s overweight. Molly takes Trish down to start but Big Show misses an elbow, meaning we get the Show vs. Bubba match that we were all waiting for. Bubba’s bad arm gives him away though and it’s Show taking over without too much trouble.
The women come in again with Trish getting two off the Chick Kick, allowing JR to mention that Molly doesn’t spend too much time on her back. Molly tries to go after Bubba, earning her a quick dance. Show saves What’s Up but takes some steps to the head, leaving Molly to get caught in a Doomsday Device for the pin.
Rating: D+. Nothing to see here, aside from some bad jokes at Molly’s expense. I’m still not sure where we’re going with Trish/Bubba but they’ve managed to come up with worse ideas before. I’m also looking forward o getting away from Trish vs. Molly because even Lawler is having issues remembering his stupid motivations here.
Show cleans house and sets up a table but Trish saves Bubba with some distracting chair shots.
Post break, Show yells at Shawn and mild threats are issued.
Ric Flair gives Jeff Hardy a pep talk when Bischoff comes in. Flair doesn’t think Jeff should risk his life for ratings every week, including in a hardcore match tonight with Bradshaw. On top of that, Ric has an announcement for later tonight. Moolah and Mae Young come in for a book plug and generally unfunny shenanigans. Bischoff will let them plug the book in the ring.
Hardcore Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Bradshaw
Jeff is challenging and now billed from just North Carolina for the cheap pop. Bradshaw knocks him around to start and gets two off a very hardcore elbow drop. A trashcan shot to the back looks to set up a powerbomb off the steps but Jeff backdrops his way out instead. It’s ladder time because that’s all Jeff knows how to do anymore. The ref gets bumped to keep this going and Bradshaw is knocked off the ladder. A Swanton in Bradshaw’s general area gives Jeff the pin and the title.
Rating: D. I hit you, you hit me, the finish sucks and does nothing for anyone. Hardy wins another meaningless title to go with his recent European Title win, meaning he’s likely losing this one by the end of the month at the latest. If nothing else I hope he does so we don’t have to see Jeff’s personalized title with his “artwork” included.
Johnny the Bull and Tommy Dreamer win the title.
Regal was faking his injury and goes off to get a massage. Benoit comes out of the green room and says he doesn’t need luck.
Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit
Benoit is challenging. A fight over a wristlock goes nowhere as the announcers talk about Flair having a big announcement for later tonight. Benoit gets tired of the posing and kicks Van Dam in the ribs as the conversation moves on to a Shawn/HHH discussion. Rob kicks him in the face to set up a big dive over the top to really wake the crowd up.
Back in and Rob does his splits to set up a monkey flip, only to have Benoit score with a basement dropkick to the head. Van Dam goes shoulder first into the post as it’s time to set up for the Crossface. Benoit cranks on the arm and cuts off the champ’s comeback by sending him hard back to the mat.
The stepover kick to the face drops Benoit though and Rolling Thunder is good for two. Rob misses the Five Star and that means it’s time for the Crossface. A rope is reached but Benoit grabs the hold all over again. Van Dam rolls away but Benoit throws his feet on the ropes for the pin and the title.
Rating: B. Good stuff here and it’s a positive sign to have Benoit already with a title again so soon after his return. Van Dam will be back and you can almost guarantee a rematch from here. The wrestling was solid too with the story making sense all the way through. The arm work even played into the ending with Benoit going from the Crossface to the pin.
Shawn tells the door attendant to let HHH know that he’s waiting in the parking lot. Big Show is watching.
Moolah and Mae Young are in the ring with Bischoff saying they have three minutes. Bischoff actually dozes off as Moolah talks about some stories. Mae almost gets in a fight with Moolah….and here comes 3 Minute Warning. The women take a beating and NO ONE COMES OUT TO HELP THEM. Bischoff names the monsters as Jamal and Rosey.
After a break, with Mae being carted out, Bischoff says that when he snaps his fingers, things happen. Cue Undertaker to say this finger snapping thing could be interesting. Christopher Nowinski interrupts and makes the mistake of insulting the Undertaker. Let’s have a match.
Undertaker vs. Christopher Nowinski
Chris tries to talk his way out of this but gets sent into the corner. Undertaker charges into an elbow in the corner and Chris Harvard (JR’s name) hammers away, only to get caught with Old School. The Last Ride wraps it up quick.
Post match the Un-Americans come out for the beatdown, including a mostly messed up Conchairto. It’s so bad that they have to try a second time and still only barely graze him. How hard can it be to hit someone in the head?
After a break, the Un-Americans say they have one more piece of business.
Rock implies Coach slept with a cow and Coach makes the mistake of going down the rabbit hole. This prompts Rock to go into the full story, capped off sound effects and saying Coach likes to stick microphones up cows’ rectums. Coach: “Rock it was just one night.” Rock: “WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA! THE ROCK WAS KIDDING! Hey is that a cow over there?” Coach: “Where???”
Anyway, Rock is ready to give Brock Lesnar the beating he deserves but first, he’s facing Ric Flair in Flair Country. Rock talks about how big it’s going to be, says IF YA SMELL, waits for JR to talk about the match, struts on and off screen, and then says IS COOKIN. This was great in the way that only Rock can make something great.
Here’s HHH to address Shawn. It was HHH’s idea to have Shawn as his manager so they could take over the WWE together. Shawn doesn’t understand that his time is over and it’s not about him anymore. All the injuries have caught up with him and last Monday was a slap of reality in Shawn’s face. Shawn’s career is over and he needs to just accept it and be HHH’s manager. A producer gets up on the apron and tells HHH something, which sends him running to the back.
We come back from a break with wrestlers around an unconscious and bloody Shawn. HHH demands help for his buddy and Shawn is taken away in an ambulance. Bischoff suggests that HHH was behind it and we get a censored F Bomb.
Ric Flair vs. The Rock
Non-title and Rock requested the match. They trade armdrags to start with Flair actually sending the champ out to the floor. Back in and Rock sends him into the corner before copying the strut, earning himself some Flair chops. Rock is put on the floor again as this is almost one sided so far.
It’s WAY too early for the Figure Four though and Rock is soundly booed by the North Carolina crowd. The spinebuster looks to set up the People’s Elbow but Flair grabs the leg, only to have the Figure Four countered into the Sharpshooter. A poke to the eye cuts Rock off and NOW the Figure Four goes on in the middle of the ring. Rock is in the ropes quickly enough and the Rock Bottom puts Flair away.
Rating: C-. Perfectly fine match here with Rock letting Flair get to show off in his home state. It’s not like anyone is expecting anything great out of Flair at this point and he certainly didn’t look bad. This was all it needed to be and the fans were into it, though it’s pretty clearly just there to set up whatever Flair’s announcement is going to be.
We get the handshake and the hand raise so Rock can leave Flair to make his announcement. Flair can barely get a word out though before Chris Jericho of all people comes out. A chair shot to the head drops Flair as I’m wondering how Rock didn’t hear Jericho’s very loud music setting this up. Jericho says Raw is Jericho to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. It’s amazing what some structure and goals can do for a show. Well that and having a far better built midcard with some matches and acts actually getting some time. It’s far from perfect and there’s still a lot of work that needs to be done, but this is so much better than the disaster that Raw used to be that it’s kind of amazing. Totally watchable show this week, which I couldn’t imagine saying just two months ago.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown – July 25, 2002: Who’s That Jumping Off the Cage?
Smackdown Date: July 25, 2002
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
It’s another big night for Smackdown as we have the in ring debut of Rey Mysterio as well as the Smackdown debut of Brock Lesnar, who Stephanie stole this past Monday. We’re also getting ready for Summerslam and that’s the best thing that could happen after a rather dreadful summer. Let’s get to it.
We open with a video of Stephanie introducing the show in a seizure inducing moment. See, Stephanie is all hip and cool and caters to the youth of the country with her hipness.
Opening sequence.
Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry
Henry shoves him around to start and just glares him Kurt for trying a suplex. Kurt is sat on top where Henry pats him on the head for fun. A missed charge allows Kurt to hit the first suplex and really take over. Another powerslam puts Angle down but here’s Lesnar to F5 Henry for the DQ. There was no one but Angle to be put in this spot right?
Angle follows Lesnar to the back and asks what was up with that. Brock was just trying to help Kurt out after Angle blew it at Vengeance. Now that Brock is here, Kurt’s time as the top star on Smackdown is over.
Stacy Keibler goes in to see Stephanie and offers to help her in any way possible. Stephanie has her answer the door, which is a flower delivery from Eric Bischoff, who will be here tonight. The vase is thrown against the wall.
Reverend D-Von vs. Big Valbowski
Hardcore Holly is in Val’s corner. Venis starts fast with a clothesline and big boot but both of them fall out to the floor in a crash. Back in and Venis gets two off a fisherman’s suplex with Batista making the save. The partners get in a fight on the floor, leaving Val to grab a Blue Thunder Bomb for the pin.
Rating: D. Nothing to see here as D-Von’s reverend gimmick has basically stopped save for the theme song (which is still awesome). Venis and Holly are fine for a low level veteran team but I can’t picture them going any further than a single title shot and maybe not even on pay per view.
Batista cleans house post match. Just let him leave D-Von already and go after someone bigger.
On Stephanie’s orders, Stacy sends security after Edge.
Lance Storm and Christian are ready for their first title defense against the Rock and Hulk Hogan. That’s quite the step up.
Stephanie catches up with Edge, who assures her he isn’t leaving to sign with Raw. Instead he was going to the production truck with a tape. The tape starts rolling and it’s a countdown clock with about an hour and thirty seven minutes on it. That’s how long there is left in the show and in that time, Edge is going to get his hands on Chris Jericho inside a cage. Wait WHAT? It’s a video tape that seems to start with 97 minutes left and Edge got it into the tape player EXACTLY ON TIME??? Including being stopped by security and talking to Stephanie? She had to write this idea. Like, she had to. Only Stephanie could see this working.
Angle is on the phone with someone named Eric. It’s going to be his brother isn’t it?
Rikishi vs. Albert
Albert bicycle kicks him in the head at the bell for no cover. A few corner splashes set up a Vader Bomb for two but Rikishi gets in a DDT. The running hip attack in the corner sets up a Stinkface, followed by the Rump Shaker for the pin. What in the world is up with pushing Rikishi like this?
Stephanie (yes again) calls Angle and demands an explanation via voicemail.
Remember last week when we saw a video saying Rey Mysterio debuts in a week? Everything is still on schedule.
Tag Team Titles: The Rock/Hulk Hogan vs. Lance Storm/Christian
The Canadians are defending. Hogan and Storm start things off and guess what the fans are chanting. Storm gets in a clothesline to start and is quickly pinballed back and forth by right hands from the challengers. Wait, we need to stop and look at a worried Stephanie. Ok now that we’re done with that, let’s talk about how worried she is! Rock gets double teamed for a bit until a Samoan drop drops Storm like a Samoan.
Test breaks up the People’s Elbow though and you can hear the energy come out of the building. Back in and Test cuts off another comeback, followed by a superkick to give Storm two. Hogan comes in for the save but gets distracted to the floor by Test. Therefore there’s no one for Rock to tag so he waits about ten seconds and makes the hot tag on the second attempt. A double belly to back gets two on Hogan but it’s Hulk Up time, only to have Lesnar come in for the DQ.
Rating: D+. Not the worst here but Rock could have been almost anyone. You really don’t need to tie this in to the Summerslam match as the idea is more about treating Brock like a monster. The match was as good as an average tag team facing two of the biggest stars of all time was going to be.
Lesnar orders Hogan’s limo driver to take himself and Heyman instead.
The announcers recap the talent stealing story. Would it kill Cole to wear a suit?
John Cena thinks Test has ugly teeth and gets slapped in the mouth for it.
Stephanie comes up to Jericho and it turns into an ad for the new Fozzy CD.
Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero
I remember thinking that it was a different Mysterio since he had the mask back on. Rey starts fast with his variety of headscissors (smart way to go) but Chavo sends him into the corner to take over. We hit an abdominal stretch for a bit before Chavo drives him back first into the apron. Rey has enough of being on defense and busts out a big flip dive to knock Chavo silly. A sweet cradle gets two but a Gory Bomb plants Rey for the same. That goes nowhere so it’s the 619 (no pop yet and Tazz calls it the Six Nineteen) into the West Coast Pop (no name either) to give Rey his first win.
Rating: C. This could have been better by letting Rey fly around more but this is WAY past the point where he blew the doors off the place. That being said, he’s miles better than almost anyone in the division and it was another big name from WCW that could actually mean something in the future. In other words, it’s potential, which isn’t something you can never have enough of in wrestling.
In the back, Test lays Mysterio out.
John Cena vs. Test
Cena goes right for him to start but a hard knee to the ribs slows him down. A quick DDT gets Test out of trouble but let’s talk about Bischoff again! A Jericho style flying forearm drops Test again and the ProtoBomb gets two. Back up and Test tries a powerbomb but gets sunset flipped to give Cena another upset.
Rating: C-. I’m a Test fan (I think there are three of us) so I liked this a bit more than I should have. That being said, Cena really, really needs a finisher outside of a fluke rollup. That’s all he’s used to win so far and while it’s not great, the ProtoBomb would be fine for a finisher until he gets something better. Cena is good enough at the moment but he needs some upgrades.
Test kicks him in the face post match.
Stephanie calls Angle and basically rips him apart for not calling her back. If he’s going to Raw with Eric, the least he could do is tell her face to face. It’s going to be his brother isn’t it?
Edge vs. Chris Jericho
Inside a cage and this is actually joined in progress. You don’t see that too often in a big match. Jericho goes head first into the cage and Edge rips some skin off his chest with chops. A spear up against the cage makes things worse but Jericho sidesteps a second attempt to send Edge into the steel. That means a nasty cut on Edge’s head and a sleeper drop gets two.
Back up and Edge ducks another charge to send Jericho into the cage but Edge can’t get out quite yet. A sitout gordbuster (not an inverted powerbomb Tazz) gets two on Jericho as they’re already trading big moves, though there’s not a lot of drama yet. Cole: “You’ve got to give the businesswoman Stephanie McMahon a lot of credit!” Well of course we do! We haven’t talked about her all match and just to be clear, she’s a totally professional businesswoman and our role model.
Edge escapes the Walls so Jericho goes for the door, giving us the fairly standard “heel grabs the chair right next to the door” spot. A very loud chair shot gets two with Edge’s spear connecting for the same. Both guys head to the top for a super bulldog from Jericho and it’s time for a double breather. Jericho goes up again and gets pulled right back down with a super electric chair for a nasty looking crash. Both guys are down but it’s Edge getting up over the top for the escape before Jericho can get out the door.
Rating: B-. This wasn’t the best cage match in the world as there wasn’t enough build to the big spot trading section. Edge going over clean is the only call here and now he’s beaten Angle and Jericho in back to back feuds. That’s how you build someone up and it’s a good sign when the fans are responding to someone rising up the ranks like this.
Post match the Un-Americans come in for the beatdown. Cena tries to make a save but instead it’s Mysterio diving off the cage to take everyone down.
Bischoff is in the parking lot so HERE COMES STEPHANIE! She tries to get into the limo while he talks about knocking Stephanie out. The limo pulls away with Eric laughing along with someone we can’t see. Angle comes up and Stephanie is thrilled because IT WAS HIS BROTHER ON THE PHONE! GEE! SHOCKING INDEED! Stephanie wants to know who is in the limo to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. I know I keep harping on this but Stephanie is already killing these shows. It feels like we have to stop and see whatever nonsense she’s up to almost every five minutes and it boils down to this Raw vs. Smackdown show. What that ignores though is the fact that you can watch both shows and not miss anything. The pay per views give you the payoff to all the feuds and the TV shows are on the same nights.
Why should I care if Bischoff and Stephanie are stealing talent from the other show? It doesn’t help that it’s treated as the biggest story in the company because that means we don’t really have an option other than watching As Stephanie’s World Turns. The wrestling wasn’t bad but it really feels like it’s a few miles behind the big story, which isn’t interesting.