Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Well we’re into the brand split era now and last month on Smackdown’s PPV, we had a Cell match between Taker and Lesnar. Bischoff’s response: the Elimination Chamber. This is one of those shows that ticks me off to no end because of how the booking goes. Other than that, we’ve got a stupid booking decision on Smackdown as well which I don’t think I complained about enough the first time. Let’s get to it.

The theme song is Always by Saliva which is a personal favorite.

Dudley Boys/Jeff Hardy vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico

This is an elimination tables match. Oh and that’s Bubba and Spike, not D-Von. Spike and Bubba got put through the same table on Raw Monday to set this up. The Dudleys and Jeff clear the ring to start and Spike is thrown into the arms of the Samoans. It’s Bubba vs. Rico in the ring at the moment, because putting Spike and Jeff against Umaga and Rosey is a great idea right? Bubba chops Rico HARD in the corner before things settle down.

What’s Up hits Jamal and we get to the tagging section of the match before everything breaks down again. Bubba tells Jeff to get the tables but Rosey runs over Bubba after Bubba sets up a table in the corner. A BIG backdrop puts Jeff on the floor and Rosey rams Spike’s head into a table. Rosey misses a charge and drives himself through a table in the corner but that doesn’t count because it wasn’t someone else putting him through.

Jeff tries a top rope dive at Rosey but literally bounces off. Rico brings in another table and gets caught in a Dudley Dog, but 3 Minute Warning catches him in a double powerbomb to put Spike through the table instead. Jeff and Bubba get slammed down but Bubba knocks Rosey off the top and Jeff sends Rico flying into a cameraman. Bubba pounds away but Rico hits a spinwheel kick to take his head off. Rico could go in the ring make no mistake.

Rosey and Jeff go out into the crowd and there’s a table out there with them. Jeff is put on said table as Bubba gets kicked in the face by Rico. Jamal misses a splash and crushes Rico, allowing Bubba to Bubba Bomb Jamal and go to save Jeff. With Bubba’s help, Jeff goes up to the top of an entrance and hits a BIG Swanton through Rosey through the table to make it 2-2.

Back in the ring Jamal has Bubba on a table ready for a Rico moonsault, but he looks hesitant to launch. He looks over his shoulder, shouts “C’MON JEFF!” before staggering. THEN Jeff shakes the ropes and Rico crotches himself. Not the best response but that’s on Jeff more than Rico. Bubba tries a belly to back superplex through the table but Jamal moves it away. Jeff hits Whisper in the Wind to Jamal and follows it with a dropkick.

Hardy goes to the floor to get another table which he throws at Jamal. Jeff tries to run the railing but Jamal throws the table at Jeff, who goes flying through it. That doesn’t count which I can kind of agree with. Jamal puts Jeff on another table and hits a HUGE splash off the top to eliminate Jeff. That looks awesome. Bubba beats on Rico in the ring but Jamal saves his sideburned buddy. Jamal goes up to try a top rope rana (I guess) on Bubba, only to get caught in a HUGE powerbomb through the table to get us down to one on one.

It’s Rico vs. Bubba with the former pounding away and pulling in another table. Rosey comes back in but Bubba pounds away on him too. Now Jamal is in there too and it’s D-VON to the rescue! He’s on Smackdown at this point so this is a big deal. 3D puts Rico through the table to end this.

Rating: B-. That’s likely high but this was what you want to open a show. It helps a lot that this was a fifteen minute match instead of like six minutes like they are on Raw. This was fun and the pop for the reunion of the Dudleys (which would be permanent) was a feel good moment. Good stuff here and a good choice to open things up, especially in New York City.

Stacy is at the World (WWF New York) looking great. She introduces Saliva who is doing a miniconcert at the club. They perform Always here to eat up a few minutes and we get a video about the remaining matches.

RVD is stretching before the Chamber.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

Jamie is defending and has Nidia with him. Kidman grabs two very fast rollups for two and make that four in the first 30 seconds. Jamie bails to the floor but Kidman throws him right back in. Noble comes back with a neckbreaker and it’s off to a bow and arrow. Kidman gets thrown to the floor and Noble hits a suicide dive. Tazz: “I think Noble has something up his sleeve, but he’s not wearing a shirt so he has no sleeve.”

Back in and Kidman speeds things up with a back elbow and a dropkick followed by an AA into a backbreaker for two. A Falcon’s Arrow gets two for Noble so Kidman hits Tessmacher’s Tesshocker (belly to back suplex position but he slams Noble down face first instead). Kidman loads up the Shooting Star but Noble bails to the floor. That’s fine with Billy so he dives on Noble out there to take the champ down again.

Back in and Nidia distracts Kidman but gets knocked off the apron by Kidman. The BK Bomb (Low Down) gets two for Kidman as does a Tiger Bomb for Noble. They go up top and Kidman hits a sitout inverted DDT. That was pretty awesome looking but it only gets two. Noble hits Orton’s Elevated DDT for two out of the corner so Kidman hits an enziguri to take over again. Billy loads up the Shooting Star but a Nidia distraction….only delays Kidman as he hits the Shooting Star for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. These two got going good and strong at the end which is exactly what you want from a match like this. When you can get into the area of a match where it’s one big move after another and you’re just waiting on one of them to stay down, that’s a great sign. The Shooting Star looked great too. This wasn’t a masterpiece or anything but it was solid.

Angle and Benoit are in the back and Angle is incensed that Kidman could win a title. If he can win, then so can they, as long as Benoit stays out of the captain’s way. Benoit gets in his face but Angle says they should be friends to the end. Benoit offers a handshake but Angle says no way. Angle: “I don’t shake hands! Tag team partners hug!” So HELL NO is ripping off Benoit and Angle?

Victoria, still psycho here, is looking in a mirror. Then she thinks it’s Trish and goes nuts.

We recap Trish vs. Victoria, which is a hardcore match. Victoria is batty and claims that it’s because she and Trish used to work together as fitness models, but Trish slept her way to the top. Tonight it’s about revenge. Why can’t stories today have simple backstories like that? I mean, it’s not that hard to LIE.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Hardcore rules here and Trish is defending. This is their second PPV match after Trish won last month. Victoria immediately chokes her with Trish’s coat before getting a broom out of one of the trashcans on each post. Trish jumps the broom (lucky guy) but Victoria takes her down almost immediately. Victoria chokes her with the broom in the corner but gets flipped to the mat.

Now Trish finds a trashcan lid but Victoria knocks the lid into her head with the broom. We head to the floor and Trish gets whipped HARD into the trashcan. Back in and Victoria hits her slingshot legdrop for two. The challenger puts a trashcan in between the top and middle rope but Trish grabs her legs and slingshots Victoria’s head into the can. Trish sets up an ironing board in the corner and whips Victoria into it for two.

It’s kendo stick time with Victoria taking a beating. She gets a boot up in the corner though and BLASTS Trish with a trashcan lid. Victoria has a bloody nose and sits on the middle rope, allowing Trish to try a rana out of the corner. Victoria counters into a kind of Boston Crab position, but Trish does a big situp and hits Victoria in the head with a can lid.

That only stuns her though so Trish BLASTS her in the head with a trashcan lid again to knock Vicotira off the ropes and out to the floor. Victoria gets a mirror from under the ring but Trish superkicks her down. Chick Kick (Punk’s high kick) gets two for Trish as does a bulldog. Victoria rolls to the floor and pulls out a fire extinguisher to blast Trish with. That and a suplex gets the pin and the title for the nutjob.

Rating: B. This was AWESOME with both chicks beating the tar out of each other. The story of the match worked really well too with Trish trying to wrestle her way out of trouble against a monster that wanted to hurt her no matter what. This worked really well and is one of the most intense Divas matches you’ll ever see.

Booker is getting ready.

Bischoff brags about the Chamber for a bit. Show comes up and says he’ll show Eric why trading him to Smackdown was a bad idea.

Heyman is worried that Brock can’t beat Big Show. Lesnar has (legit, due to Show hurting him at a house show) bad ribs.

We recap Show vs. Lesnar. Lesnar beat Taker in the Cell last month, so Show beat up Taker to make himself the next challenger. Even Heyman says Brock can’t beat him.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending here and is mostly a face now. It’s on in a hurry as the fans are behind Lesnar. Show gets in a shot to the ribs in the corner and launches Brock across the ring. Brock is all like BRING IT ON and grabs a double leg to take Show down. They head to the floor and Brock gets rammed into the post. Back in and Brock pounds away before hitting something like a belly to back suplex. Show misses a charge and Brock “hits” a German, which means Show lands on Brock’s head. Brock tries an F5 but Show knees him in the ribs.

The referee gets bumped and Brock THROWS Big Show down with an overhead belly to belly. Heyman throws in a chair and Brock cracks Show over the head with it. There’s the F5 and a new referee but Heyman pulls the referee out of the ring. This makes no sense and I’ll get to why in a second. Lesnar figures out what’s going on and gives chase, but charges right into a pair of chair shots to the ribs. Show chokeslams Brock onto the chair for the pin and the title. That’s Brock’s first ever loss.

Rating: D+. Most of that is for Lesnar’s INSANE power. Here’s why this match ticks me off: Lesnar had to get the title taken off of him because of injury. That’s fine. So they pick BIG SHOW to take it from him? This is the same idea as Nash beating Goldberg: you have an unstoppable monster and you take the title off of him for the sake of this old dude? You have Angle, Benoit, Eddie Guerrero and Edge on the Smackdown roster and you pick BIG SHOW? Now to be fair Angle got the title in a month, but why not just cut out the middle man and make a new star?

As for why Heyman’s turn makes no sense, the whole idea of the match was that Heyman didn’t think Lesnar could suplex, F5 or beat Big Show. He did the first two things and had Show beat until Heyman turned. Heyman is a lot of things, but he’s always been someone that knows what kind of a monster he’s got and sticks with them to the end. This is out of character for him, especially when an injured Brock had proven he could beat Show. So on top of being a bad match with bad booking, it makes no sense. Nice job WWE.

Show and Heyman immediately bail.

We recap the triple threat tag title match. Benoit and Angle beat Rey and Edge in the match of the year at No Mercy in a tournament final. The new champions argued over who is team captain and have to work together or they’re suspended. Edge and Mysterio won the titles on Smackdown in 2/3 falls match. Stephanie threw in Los Guerreros because these six are the Smackdown Six and you can’t have just four of them together, even though we’ve had that for months. Not that I’m complaining though, because this is going to be AWESOME.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Edge/Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Los Guerreros

Edge and Mysterio are champions and this is under elimination rules. It’s Mysterio vs. Benoit to start which is fine with me. Benoit hits a HARD chop but gets caught in a rana and a flapjack to give Rey what will likely be a short lived advantage. Off to Edge for a double hiptoss before Kurt gets the tag and a big pop. Chavo punches Angle in the back of the head and that’s a tag apparently.

Chavo gets shouldered down but nips up immediately. Off to Mysterio vs. Eddie which is one of those pairings that works no matter what. A headscissors takes Eddie down and it’s off to Kurt to face the masked dude. They’re going very fast paced so far. Angle misses a charge into the post but Rey takes too much time on the top and gets run over by Kurt. The Olympian tags in the psycho who suplexes Rey down for two.

Back to Angle who suplexes Rey down and gets in a cheap shot on Edge. The Angle Slam is countered but Angle clotheslines Rey down instead. Back to Chris as Tazz talks about Los Guerreros not wanting to get in yet. The battling partners tag in again so Angle can put on a front facelock. Rey fights up after about a minute in the hold and kicks Kurt in the face to take him down.

There’s the hot tag to Edge who cleans house with a bunch of suplexes. Eddie comes in and goes to the floor with Rey. Edge misses the spear and gets caught in a Crossface and ankle lock AT THE SAME TIME. Mysterio breaks both parts of the hold up and Chavo pulls Angle to the floor. Rey dives on both of them and Benoit Germans Edge but Eddie comes in off the top to sunset flip Benoit, sending Edge flying in a German for two each. Eddie gets suplexed to the floor with his head smashing into the apron on the way down. FREAKING OW MAN!

Benoit rolls more Germans on Edge (Gee I wonder why he needed neck surgery five months after this) and Eddie hits the Frog Splash on Edge but Benoit hits the Swan Dive on Eddie. Angle Slam and Ankle lock to Eddie while Benoit Crossfaces Edge. Chavo hits Benoit with a belt and throws the belt to Angle. Benoit thinks Angle hit him and Mysterio dropkicks Chris into Angle. Angle and Rey go to the floor and Edge spears Benoit for the elimination. Absolutely amazing sequence there which NEVER STOPPED.

Angle and Benoit destroy Edge and Rey before leaving. They lay out Los Guerreros too for fun. Eddie vs. Edge keeps the match going and Eddie suplexes the Canadian down before it’s off to Chavo. Chavo pounds away on Edge as Los Guerreros double team. We get down to a much more standard tag team formula with Edge playing Ricky Morton. Edge finally comes back with a double clothesline and it’s off to Rey.

Things speed up again with Rey flying all over the place and hitting a headscissors to put Chavo down. Edge spears both guys down and launches Rey up to rana Eddie off the top. That’s another awesome sequence. There’s the 619 to Eddie but Chavo hits Rey in the back to break up the West Coast Pop. Eddie puts on the Lasso From El Paso (a Boston Crab/Sharpshooter hybrid) for the tap and the titles.

Rating: B+. This was a match that felt like it got hacked to death. If you give these guys another 15 minutes (the match ran 20) and take away the belt shots, the match gets a lot better. The first half, as in before the first elimination, is INCREDIBLE. The stuff after that though is good but standard. Still though, these guys were the future of the company and it was a good sign to see them. Combine that with three guys named Batista, Orton and Cena that had debuted earlier in the year and you’ve got the next five years of WWE.

Here’s Nowitski to make fun of New York in a really stupid promo. Matt Hardy comes out to yell at him before blasting New York as well. The mouth running goes on even longer until FINALLY Scott Steiner debuts and murders them. Somehow this took SEVEN AND A HALF MINUTES. Steiner would go on to have perhaps the two worst PPV world title matches in recorded history against HHH before being shunted down the card.

Shawn says he believes in himself but we get RNN BREAKING NEWS! It’s Randy Orton who has a bad shoulder. He says there’s no new damage to his bad shoulder due to an extra pillow on the plane. This was the WAY over the top deal that Orton was doing which first turned him heel. I loved it but it got annoying fast, which is the right idea.

We recap the Elimination Chamber. HHH is the official WORLD CHAMPION OF EVERYTHING but Shawn beat him at Summerslam and wants a rematch. Bischoff wants to top the Cell so here’s his latest idea. The rules are mostly simple: two guys start and there are four more in individual pods. After five minutes there’s a new guy introduced and it’s elimination rules. The winner is world champion. The other four guys are there because they’re the biggest stars on Raw. This is set to Always again and they’re not even trying to hide that this is ALL about HHH vs. Shawn.

HHH says that he’s awesome and he’ll keep the title.

Eric comes out and walks through the Chamber to explain everything I just said. Apparently the glass is bulletproof. This is the first time the Chamber had been seen and I believe the first time the rules have been explained.

Raw World Title: Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam

Jericho is a tag champion, but the cool part here is that as he comes out, Saliva does his theme song live at WWF New York. HHH is defending of course. Shawn’s tights are….brown. This is one of those decisions that no one ever quite got and he was made fun of extensively for them apparently. I mean…..BROWN? Mankind wore brown for crying out loud. The wide show of the Chamber really does look cool. Anyway the entrances take a long time and RVD vs. HHH gets us going.

Van Dam hits a spinwheel kick to take HHH down but walks into a facebuster. The Pedigree is countered into a backdrop over the top to hit the cage outside the ring. JR’s statements about the Chamber are already nuts as he says it has no soul or conscience. IT’S A FREAKING CAGE! Anyway, HHH is rammed into the cage over and over to bust him open and Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder over the top rope to land on HHH on the cage. Yeah there’s a floor made of cage surrounding the ring that is level with the mat if you’ve somehow never seen one of these.

Van Dam goes up on one of the pods but his flip dive mostly hits the floor instead of HHH. Back in the ring and HHH gets stomped down in the corner as Jericho is added in as the third man. Van Dam immediately kicks him down and it’s five minutes until the next entrant. A cartwheel into a moonsault gets two on Jericho and they head outside the ring as well. In the first famous spot in the Chamber’s history, Van Dam jumps off the top rope, misses Jericho, and grabs onto the cage like Spider-Man before spinning back around to cross body Jericho. That’s still awesome.

HHH gets back up and hits the knee to the face of Van Dam which gives Jericho a two count. HHH and Jericho double team RVD before Chris tells Shawn to suck it. Van Dam’s back gets rammed into the cage wall some more and Jericho talks a lot of trash. Rob’s back goes into the cage over and over and we head back in to the ring. There’s a spin kick to put Jericho down as Booker T is in fourth.

Booker quickly clears the ring and we get a Spinarooni before Van Dam fights Booker one on one. Booker gets in some shots to Rob but walks into the stepover kick to give Van Dam control again. HHH gets back up and takes Van Dam down, only to get caught by the scissors kick from Booker. The next big spot of the match is Van Dam going up to the top of the pod and hitting the Five Star on HHH, with Van Dam’s knee hitting HHH’s throat, severely (and legitimately) injuring HHH’s windpipe. Since HHH can’t get up right now to eliminate Van Dam, Booker hits a missile dropkick to take Van Dam out.

Booker grabs a quick cover on HHH but only gets two. Jericho goes after Booker but gets caught in an Alabama Slam for his efforts. Kane comes in fifth because we don’t quite know if Shawn’s back can handle a full match yet. Kane goes off on Booker and Jericho as HHH lays on the outside. Jericho gets launched face first into the cage wall and is then thrown through the BULLETPROOF, yes BULLETPROOF I SAY glass. This would become a running joke in the Chamber.

JR says the Chamber has no soul or conscience again just to hammer home the point. Kane chokeslams Booker and Jericho adds the Lionsault to take Booker out and get us down to four guys. A Kane suplex gets two on Jericho as we’re waiting on Shawn to come in. HHH goes up top for no apparent reason and gets slammed down ala Flair. Jericho missile dropkicks Kane down and here’s HBK.

HHH is down in the corner of course so Shawn can only beat on Kane and Jericho. There’s the forearm to Kane but no nipup, leaving everyone down at the moment. Kane whips Shawn HARD into the corner where Shawn flips upside down. There’s a chokeslam for all three remaining guys not named Kane but instead of covering, Kane loads up a Tombstone on HHH. Shawn superkicks Kane down but he sits up. The Pedigree and Lionsault finally put Kane out and we’re down to three.

Shawn gets double teamed by HHH and Jericho and it’s time for Chris to dance. After being rammed into the cage a few times, Michaels is busted open. Jericho talks more trash and HHH walks around a lot. Shawn tries to fight back but his piledriver on the cage is countered to backdrop his bad back onto the cage again. There’s the Lionsault….for two. You know, the move that put out Booker and Kane earlier? It’s now not enough to put down Shawn when he’s been beaten down and injured on top of having one match in four and a half years.

Shawn comes back with a moonsault press to Jericho for two before putting Jericho in the Walls. HHH finally comes back from getting popcorn or something with a DDT to Shawn. Jericho and HHH finally get in the argument you were expecting and the fight is on. Jericho jumps out of the corner and lands in the Pedigree, but Jericho counters into the Walls. While holding HHH, Shawn kicks Jericho’s head off and it’s down to one on one. If this surprises you, you’re an imbecile.

So it’s Shawn, bloodied and injured and in his second match in four years, against an also injured HHH in the main event at Madison Square Garden. Gosh I’m so glad these two are so selfless. The spinebuster puts Shawn down and HHH backdrops him over the top. Shawn sends HHH into the cage but when Shawn tries to Pedigree HHH on the steel, HHH counters into a slingshot through the cage again. You know, because Shawn would still be alive at this point.

Back in the ring all that gets two and it’s time for the slugout. Seriously, those brown tights are so stupid looking. A facebuster puts Shawn down and it’s another clothesline to put him onto the outside. The Pedigree on the steel is countered into another slingshot into the Chamber wall. Back into the ring and Shawn drops the elbow off the top of the pod. The Superkick is countered into the Pedigree and, say it with me, Shawn kicks out at two. Another Pedigree is countered into a backdrop, followed by the Sweet Chin Music to give Shawn the title.

Rating: D+. I’ve mellowed on this match in the last few years to the point where I’m not mad about it anymore. However, it’s still one of those matches where you look at it and say really. As in REALLY? We’re supposed to buy that Shawn can survive ALL of that and still win the freaking title? You have to keep in mind this isn’t the Shawn who was having the match of the year for like five years running. No one expected him to go on as long as he did. At this point, making it to Wrestlemania would have been impressive.

That’s where this match loses it for me: we’re supposed to buy that Shawn is so great, so amazing, and so tough that he can basically walk off the street and be better than four of the top guys in the business? There comes a point where my suspension of disbelief is cut off and I can’t buy this anymore. We passed that at Summerslam, making this even more ridiculous. This match is also the reason we had to sit through the AWFUL match at Armageddon, where HHH and Shawn got to waste 40 minutes of our time by barely being able to move.

In short, this is way more than I can accept as far as the match being realistic. In wrestling, you have to accept that some stuff is ridiculous. That’s called suspending disbelief. However, there comes a point where that’s not the case any longer. It’s unrealistic in wrestling terms to accept that Shawn can survive all this and win the title. This was pure selfishness from Shawn and HHH, which would get WAY worse in the future. HHH wouldn’t make a new star for over a YEAR when he put Benoit over at Wrestlemania in the same arena.

As for the rest of the match, it’s acceptable, but WAY too long. The Chamber matches need to go about thirty minutes instead of the forty this one went. The last seventeen minutes here, as in the amount of time after Kane is eliminated, are REALLY repetitive and while they had good drama, they needed to be cut. Booker, RVD, Jericho and Kane were all there to fill in spaces and be there for Shawn and HHH to bounce off of. I don’t hate the match, but it really doesn’t work all that well.

Confetti falls to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show overall is pretty solid actually but the main event is a good sized letdown. The Show/Lesnar stuff I went on about enough, but other than those two things the card is pretty solid. The triple threat tag is good stuff but the No Mercy match is even better. This show is worth checking out, but you won’t be thrilled by the Chamber.

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boys/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Original: B

Redo: B-

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Original: C-

Redo: B

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D-

Redo: D+

Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Original: B

Redo: B+

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Dang that’s a big swing on the Chamber. I don’t remember liking it that much the first time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/02/20/survivor-series-2002-the-longest-rant-about-anything-ive-ever-done/

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 21, 2002
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Oh look: a Raw from 2002. This is I think the twelfth episode I’ve done from this show, and you would think it would be something fun. Instead, it’s the KATIE VICK EPISODE! Yep, this is the show where HHH climbs in a casket and rapes a mannequin, because this is a wrestling show baby! I think that about covers it. It’s the night after No Mercy and HHH is the champion of all that is Raw as the IC Title has been knocked out for the next eight months or so. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Katie Vick story. HHH claims Kane is a murderer, but Kane says it was an accident. This is the night after HHH beat Kane to unify the IC and World Titles but the feud must continue for some reason.

Here’s HHH along with Flair to open the show. HHH talks about how he’s proven the writers wrong when they said he didn’t deserve to be handed the title. He ended the IC Title last night and there’s no one that can do anything about it. HHH calls himself unstoppable and says that he might be the greatest world champion ever. Flair has a video that explains the Katie Vick ordeal. Oh boy. Kane isn’t here yet, but apparently tonight it’s Kane/RVD vs. HHH/Flair. This brings out Hurricane, Kane’s other partner, to beat up HHH and take the tape, but HHH beats Hurricane down and takes it back.

Jeff Hardy vs. Christopher Nowitski

Chris takes him down to start and Jeff is getting frustrated, which would be a recurring theme for him for the next few weeks. Jeff sends him to the floor and hits a big flipping dive to take over. Nowitski gets in a shot back inside and gets a few two counts. Hardy comes back with a Thesz Press and actually uses it as a pinning combination. Nowitski chokes away in the corner and gets two off a rolling side cradle.

A gutbuster gets another two on Hardy and this match isn’t going anywhere. Jeff fires away but walks into a hot shot for two. A spinning double underhook slam gets two for Chris and here comes Jeff’s real comeback. He fires away with right hands and a jawbreaker but Chris moves before the Swanton launches. Chris brings in a chair but Al Snow comes in to break it up. The chair winds up hitting Chris in the head but Snow pulls Nowitski away from the Swanton. It hits the chair and Chris steals the pin.

Rating: D. This just kept going. Nowitski was a great base for a character but he never got off the ground. The guy just wasn’t that good. He wasn’t especially bad but he just wasn’t that good. This match didn’t work well for the most part and Hardy would start turning heel soon after this, which didn’t work at all.

Eric Bischoff, the GM, is watching Big Show intimidate him recently. Stacy comes in to ask to referee a match tonight. Eric says yeah whatever but not the main event. Stacy leaves and here’s Show. Eric gives Show Jamal, Rico and Rosey tonight.

Snow talks to Dreamer about costing Dreamer a match recently. They have a Singapore cane match tonight. Dreamer leaves and Nowitski comes up. Nowitski doesn’t want/need Al’s help. Ok then.

Lance Storm/William Regal vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley

The winners get a title shot against whoever the champions are now. Apparently it’s Christian/Jericho. Storm runs down American before the match. Spike vs. Storm to start things off with the smaller dude taking over quickly. The fans want tables but other than that things are mostly silent. We’ve lost commentary for some reason and by the time that sentence is finished JR is back.

Off to Bubba who takes Lance down with a neckbreaker but Regal hits Bubba in the back of his recently concussed head to give Storm the advantage. Regal comes in as Kane arrives in the back. Everything breaks down and Spike ranas Storm off the top. Bubba catches the superkick from Storm and hits the Bubba Bomb. Spoke hits the Dudley Dog on Regal for the win and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This was one of those matches that was too short to go anywhere of note. Regal and Storm as the Unamericans were a solid team but the gimmick was only going to go so far, especially with Test weighing them down as their third man. Nothing to see here and thankfully D-Von would reunite with Bubba the next month.

Storm kicks Bubba in the head post match and Spike gets hit in the ribs over and over by Regal’s brass knuckles.

Trish is having her picture taken and has to talk to the photographer about her match with Victoria from last night. Jericho and Christian pop up and call Trish a w****. Apparently Jericho thinks Trish wants him. Geez is this some extreme foreshadowing? I really doubt it.

Here’s Eric with something to say. He praises last night’s HIAC match with Brock vs. Taker (it really was good) but he’s going to top it. How is he going to do that? Something called the Elimination Chamber. No word on what that is yet.

Test vs. D’Lo Brown

Stacy is referee so she can wear a revealing outfit. Test looks like an idiot with long hair and short tights. Stacy slaps Brown and rings the bell. Test launches him over with a big backdrop and pounds away in the corner. Brown gets his feet up to block a charge followed by a flying forearm. Brown drops a leg but Stacy interferes again. The Sky High hits but Stacy is tying her shoe instead of counting. The big boot from Test and a fast count give the Canadian the win. Stacy jumps in Test’s arms post match.

Victoria says that she isn’t lying about Trish sleeping her way to the top. Victoria is still insane here. Goldust pops up behind her to make fun of her in a Dustyesque voice. Booker shows up as well to do the same, minus the American Dream part.

Trish Stratus/Booker T/Goldust vs. Victoria/Chris Jericho/Christian

Trish has her full entrance and look down now. Jericho and Christian are tag champions which I think I mentioned earlier. The girls brawl to start and Trish fires off her kicks in the corner. Victoria drop toeholds her onto the bottom rope and it’s off to Christian vs. Trish as the genders don’t have to match here. Booker comes in to make this a bit more fair for Christian. A forearm puts Christian down and a side kick gets two. Victoria and her awesome rack distracts Booker and the Canadians take over.

Off to Jericho who pounds away but gets caught in the spinning sunset flip out of the corner. The fans are way into Booker which is a good sign. It means HHH has someone to beat at Wrestlemania for no other reason than HHH wants to win at Wrestlemania. Back to Christian who takes Booker down so Jericho can hit a top rope knee drop.

A spinebuster takes Jericho down and it’s off to Goldust. He cleans the lower level of the house, hitting a middle rope bulldog for two on Jericho. Trish comes in with a cross body to Jericho and Goldust kisses Victoria. Booker and Christian take each other out and Jericho takes Trish down and finishes her with the Walls of Jericho.

Rating: D+. This started off as ok but boring and evolved into a messy comedy (I think?) match. There was nothing of note going on here which is the problem with Raw at this point: it isn’t terrible but there’s no interest in it at all. The tag titles meant nothing at all at this point and wouldn’t for a very long time. Thankfully we had the Smackdow tag titles established last night and they tore the house down for a long time.

Booker saves Jericho post match.

Terri is at Kane’s door and we cut to HHH who says roll the footage. I’m sure you’ve at least heard of this before. It’s of a funeral home with a date of 1992. Kane (clearly HHH in a Kane mask and t-shirt that wouldn’t be released for another 9 years) comes up to the casket and talks to the dead “body” of Katie Vick. It’s a mannequin if that’s not coming through. Kane (it’s HHH the entire segment so don’t get confused. I know this segment can make you stupid but hang with me here) says that if Katie had let him touch her in the car, this wouldn’t have happened.

The idea is that Kane was driving and crashed, killing Katie. Katie “talks” to Kane, saying that apparently now that she’s dead she wants Kane. Kane talks about getting excited watching Katie cheerlead and he fondles her chest which is mosaiced. This is supposed to be something like a hidden video of a sex tape. Kane takes his shirt off and starts undressing the mannequin. He takes off her underwear and says he loves the smell of formaldehyde in the morning. Kane takes his jeans off and gets in the casket. Sounds are heard and we cut to shots of candles and flowers.

Usually I would give a long winded explanation of how awful this is for wrestling and how terrible it is, but I think the segment speaks for itself: it’s simulated necrophilia. I think that sums it up. When you look at the unemployment figures in this country, remember that someone came up with this idea and was paid to do so.

Al Snow vs. Tommy Dreamer

Singapore Cane match. We start with a cane duel and Snow gets in the first connecting shots to the legs. Out to the floor and Dreamer fires away more cane shots but Snow headbutts him down. Back in and Dreamer kicks Al low, followed by a missed cane shot from an interfering Nowitski to give Dreamer the pin. Nothing to see here.

Big Show vs. Rosey/Jamal/Rico

The big guys jump Show to start but he shoves all of them away with ease. The heavies are clotheslined to the floor and Show goes after Rico’s sideburns of doom. JR makes gay references about Rico and Show destroys more people. There’s a chokeslam to Jamal (Umaga) for the pin. Total squash for Show.

Post break Eric announces that Big Show has been traded to Smackdown. He would get the world title the next month over there. After Show leaves, Hurricane arrives (did he leave?) and stands in front of his own car. Ok then.

We get some clips of Shawn getting destroyed after his match with HHH at Summerslam. Shawn is in a wheelchair at The World (WWF New York) and says his rehab is going slowly. The final match he had with HHH can stand on its own merit as not only a great match but a tribute to God. HHH did indeed put him in a wheelchair like he said he would but Shawn vows vengeance and stands up. He’s coming for HHH again.

HHH/Ric Flair vs. Rob Van Dam/Kane

The good guys pound away on their respective feud partners (Van Dam beat Flair last night) in the corner and both heels get kicked in the face. Van Dam and Flair start and it’s the cartwheel moonsault to Naitch. A middle rope kick to the face puts him down again as HHH knocks Kane off the apron and it’s the barricade. Van Dan kicks the Game down but Flair breaks up the Five Star.

Van Dam gets sent into the post and seems to have hut his ankle. That gets two back inside as we’re finally into a normal tag team match. JR and King debate necrophilia, which isn’t something I expected I’d have to write. Off to Flair as JR is sounding ticked off. Flair and Van Dam slug it out but it’s off to HHH with the knee to the face. King tries to convince JR that necrophilia is funny but Captain Oklahoma isn’t convinced. HHH puts on the sleeper and Van Dam is in trouble.

The hold is broken and it’s off to Flair. Van Dam superkicks him down and Flair goes up and with JR verbally rolling his eyes, Flair gets slammed down. HHH comes in and beats on Van Dam, but Rob escapes and tags Kane. Never mind as the tag isn’t seen so it’s time to go back to the not interesting match.

Back in and Van Dam takes Flair down and makes the real tag. Kane cleans house as the announcers debate if necrophiliac and Hulkamaniac rhyme. This is what Raw has sunk to people. Van Dam goes up and gets crotched as Kane and HHH fight on the floor. They head up the ramp with HHH being rammed into the set. Van Dam kicks Flair in the face, hits Rolling Thunder and adds the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not only was the match not that good, but it was based on necrophilia. I can’t emphasize that enough: this feud is continuing because HHH dressed up like Kane and pretended to have sex with a mannequin representing a corpse. JR sounded legitimately angry in this match and can you blame him at all?

In the back Kane destroys HHH in the back and throws him into various metal objects. Hurricane is standing next to his car with the trunk open. HHH tries a Pedigree but gets catapulted onto the hood of the car. There’s a chokeslam onto the hood and Kane throws HHH into the trunk and slams it shut. Kane sends Hurricane away and says to the trunk, and I quote, “Now I’m going to screw you. The only question is will you still be alive, or will I just wait until you’re dead.” Kane drives away with HHH in the trunk to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Ignoring the white elephant on this show, it wasn’t a good episode. There weren’t any good matches and a lot of the stuff felt like it was there to fill in two hours. The Elimination Chamber was mentioned but after the announcement it was barely mentioned again. This show was based around one of the stupidest stories of all time and it’s even worse than it seemed at the time. It’s in poor taste, it’s not funny, and it makes you embarrassed to be a wrestling fan. Terrible show.

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No Mercy 2002
Date: October 20, 2002
Location: Alltel Arena, North Little Rock, Arkansas
Attendance: 9,074
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was requested by someone and I can’t remember who. In name only this seems like a weak card but it’s actually pretty stacked. We have HHH vs. Kane in a title unification match, the match of the year with Edge/Mysterio vs. Benoit/Angle for the first Smackdown tag titles and Hell in a Cell with Lesnar vs. Taker. Let’s get to it.

Nothing special in the opening video. THERE WILL BE NO MERCY! Yeah that’s all they’ve got.

Raw Tag Titles: Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Booker T/Goldust

The Canadians have the titles. Four separate entrances here which is kind of odd. Christian and Jericho just won the belts this past week on Raw. Booker vs. Christian starts us off. Christian is a glorified lower card guy at this point having been more or less completely left in the dust by Edge despite him having a title and Edge not at the moment. It sounds odd but it’s completely true.

Flying hips to the face of the Canadians keep Goldust in control. Jericho gets a middle rope dropkick as that first little bit was kind of quickly done and not in a good way. The fans are way behind Booker T. Goldust avoids a Christian dropkick and gets a rollup for two followed by a powerslam. No tag though as I guess he’s playing the face in peril here. Before I finished that sentence Booker comes in.

Apparently Booker and Jericho are feuding at this point so there’s your reasoning for the match I guess. You knew it wasn’t just because they’re both good tag teams right? Booker dominates for the most part here as he’s the hottest thing in the match and would get a title shot at Mania.

Back over to Goldust who hits Shattered Dreams on Christian and continues to abuse the balls of Christian by getting a drop toehold onto Jericho to send him into his partner’s crotch. Axe kick to Jericho gets two as Christian saves. Booker gets the missile dropkick and it’s Spinarooni time. Jericho goes for his running springboard dropkick but the ropes break. Well doesn’t that suck. Jericho bulldogs Goldust onto a title belt and hits a moonsault off the top to retain.

Rating: C-. You can’t hold the ropes breaking against them here but this match wasn’t very entertaining. It’s ok but it really is a Raw match with a bit more time on PPV. It wasn’t much at all with Goldust and Booker being a glorified comedy team as this is a backdrop for the Booker vs. Jericho feud which I’m never a fan of. Not terrible though.

Funaki, Smackdown NUMBER ONE announcer, is with Al Wilson. This was during the Dawn Marie marries Al Wilson to tick off Torrie. This resulted in Al “dying” and Dawn making out with Torrie in a lesbian/semi-incest angle that was insanely hot but irritating at the same time. This is WAY too long as they show a bunch of clips but they have to fix the ring so we have hot women to look at I guess. It results in a Bill Clinton joke of all things.

Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie

They’re not even called Divas all the time yet. Sweet GOODNESS Cole looks toolish here. The girls look great though. Torrie drills her to start and it’s on early. This is when the girls were just AWFUL in the ring. It’s this era and the next 2-3 years where the bad stereotypes come from. Torrie kept getting ring time and looked like a rookie in her first match for the better part of three years.

Dawn drops a head into the crotch of Torrie and Tazz wonders if that actually hurts. This is just freaking terrible. Rolling catfight spot as this is going nowhere at all. They can’t even do clotheslines right. YOU STICK YOUR ARM OUT. Why is this getting extended time??? Finally Torrie wins with a swinging neckbreaker.

Rating: D-. Girls looking this hot can’t be a failure. That’s all it’s got going for it though and I want to get away from it as fast as I can.

RVD says Flair is awesome and lists off some catchphrases of Naitch. He even struts and woos and does his own version of the limousine riding bit. It’s MUCH funnier than it sounds and it helps that Flair is a walking cartoon character.

In the same shot we see Brock and Heyman showing up and they have no comment. There’s also a decent looking woman named Tracy that is accusing Taker of being a cheater in his marriage. Actually that’s true but who cares about reality?

Ric Flair vs. Rob Van Dam

Flair is heel here and Evolution isn’t quite formed yet but would show up on February 3 of the following year (no I’m not that big of a geek. That’s my birthday). At Unforgiven (JR says Vengeance) Flair turned heel and hit RVD in the stomach with a sledgehammer to save HHH’s title. They go at it on the floor for a bit and Flair’s shoulder goes into the post before the bell rings.

Or has the match started already? Top rope dropkick hits Flair as the bell rings. Ok so it hadn’t started yet. Flair is only 53 here so he’s still a young dude in theory I guess. Flair takes out the knee and we’re officially in the Flair Formula. The main talking point is that Van Dam said he flies coach in the prematch promo. Lawler will not shut up about it and it’s kind of annoying. Yes Lawler is getting annoying. I’m stunned too.

The standard Flair beating goes on for a LONG time. And now we’re talking about the Tracy girl. Well sure why not. We get to the Figure Four after maybe three minutes and naturally it doesn’t end the thing since Flair is a heel and he loses the ability to win with a submission. Van Dam makes his comeback as this is borderline predictable.

Ross slips in his more time on the canvas than Rembrandt line as Flair is slammed off the top. Rolling Thunder gets two as Flair gets a foot on the ropes. And then there’s the Five Star to actually end it. It’s kind of weird to see Flair just jobbing cleanly like that. Most odd indeed.

Rating: D+. You’ve seen it once and you’ve seen it 1000 times. And yes I know how ironic that is given the last thing I said about the ending. This again belonged on Raw and not here but that’s typical for the most part. This went nowhere for the most part as Flair at least is almost good for putting someone over. Pretty weak match though.

Show is talking to Stephanie and Bischoff comes up to complain about it. Show wanted to leave Raw but Eric wouldn’t let him. He would be there by Survivor Series and a heel under Heyman’s leadership.

Since the IC Title dies tonight we get a video package on the history of the title. Cool stuff.

Cruiserweight Title: Tajiri vs. Jamie Noble

Noble is champion here. Tajiri was the referee in a Noble/Nidia match on Smackdown for no apparent reason so Noble beat him up afterwards. Tajiri gets a baseball slide before the bell rings as that’s a running theme lately. Asai Moonsault hits and that’s about the extent of Tajiri’s offense for awhile.

Nice electric chair by Noble gets two. Pretty much domination by the champion so far. Tazz and Cole imply these three are in a three way relationship or something but that never went anywhere. The commentary is far more sexual in nature than what you would be used to in WWE today.

Jamie gets knocked off the top rope as he tries a suplex so Tajiri gets to miss a moonsault now. He does get a tornado DDT but doesn’t cover for no apparent reason. Both guys down now. Both guys up now. Tajiri unleashes that martial arts rush which is always awesome. Handspring elbow has Jamie in big trouble. German suplex gets two.

There’s the Tarantula and Jamie is reeling. Big kick misses and the Tiger Bomb is countered. There’s the kick and Nidia kisses the referee so he can’t make the count. And there’s the Tiger Bomb for two which is surprising. Tajiri goes for a victory roll but Nidia trips him so Jamie can dive into it for the Owen Hart at Mania X pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here and at least they allowed Tajiri to get in more offense than it looked like he was going to get. It’s nothing great or anything like that but this was definitely watchable and the whole thing worked pretty well. It’s a shame no one cared about this or it might have been interesting.

Tajiri kisses her post match. Noble kisses her too. Tajiri kicks the living heck out of him while he does though.

Benoit is looking for Eddie and says that Angle is kicking Chavo’s teeth in at the moment. Eddie goes off to find him and Benoit follows. Eddie finds the door they’re behind and makes noises with his mouth. Eddie thinks Benoit is faking so that Angle can take him down.

It’s clearly Chavo yelling but Eddie says that sounds like a little girl. And then Angle throws Chavo through the door. This was…..uh yeah. Apparently they did the same thing on Smackdown and Angle was suckering Eddie in. Out of context this is nuts but that makes sense.

We recap the monster Kane face push that resulted him in being the IC Champion and getting the shot at HHH here because it’s winner take all since WWE decided there was going to be one title per show for no apparent reason at all. Kane talked about being all happy for the first time in his life. And then, HHH asked Kane about Katie Vick.

Yes it’s THAT Katie Vick. The idea was that there was some chick that Kane knew (despite allegedly being burned horribly and never knowing anyone but Paul Bearer). He drove her home one night and they wrecked, killing her. Then HHH went to a funeral home and simulated sex with a mannequin while wearing a Kane mask, implying that Kane raped her corpse. This might be the lowest the company ever got.

Raw World Title/Intercontinental Title: HHH vs. Kane

Since Lesnar had gone to Smackdown as the Undisputed Champion the World Heavyweight Championship had been made for HHH as the Raw title. That was last month so the ending is pretty clear here. We hear the stupid line of that title dating back to 1904 (it was 1905 until they decided it was 04 when HHH got it) which is complete nonsense.

In short, the NWA Title was unified with a title that dated back to 1905. That title LOOKS like the NWA Title so it has the same lineage. That’s the extent of the WWE’s logic. Lawler says Kane needs Liquid Courage to face HHH. Well it would certainly help him with his covers. And now onto the match.

Kane pushes him around to start and then drills HHH. An amusing thing here is that Lawler keeps calling Kane the Animal. Batista was either already on Smackdown or would be debuting any week now. I think he’s already there though. All Kane so far. He beats on HHH for about the first three minutes more or less non stop. HHH gets a bad reverse neckbreaker to take Kane down. Naturally he sits up to take care of that.

Facebuster buys HHH some time and he sends Kane to the floor. Back in the ring and HHH hits another neckbreaker. Make that three. Dang he sticks to stuff he likes doesn’t he? Ross says if Kane wins he’ll be the first masked World’s Heavyweight Champion. I guess they’re pushing that whole separate titles thing. Spinebuster puts Kane down again.

HHH keeps up the offense on the neck and throat with a slingshot up into the middle rope to keep Kane down even longer. Off to a sleeper now and Kane is reeling. Down he goes as Lawler makes death jokes. Those are pretty creepy actually. This match is pretty plodding and not much is going on here at all. Sidewalk Slam by Kane gets no cover as he’s broken the sleeper and is in control again.

Top rope clothesline hits and here’s Ric Flair because a title match can’t be clean right? Down goes the referee and Flair won’t leave. What a shocker. Belt to Kane’s face gets a two without much drama at all. Hurricane, Kane’s partner, comes out and beats up Flair but walks into a Pedigree. Kane sits up and it’s on again.

HHH comes off the middle and top rope and neither of them work. Chokeslam is blocked and down goes the referee again. To the floor now and HHH takes a chokeslam through the Spanish Announce Table. Flair comes in with the sledgehammer but Kane stops it. HHH gets a low blow and a hammer shot but walks into a chokeslam. Flair (again) breaks up the pin and takes a chokeslam as a result. Back in and HHH hits the Pedigree to retain and retire the IC Title.

Rating: D. This more or less is what would happen in Raw World Title matches for the vast majority of the next year and a half. HHH would get dominated by a big guy but then Flair and the sledgehammer would come into play and HHH would of course retain. Kane more or less was done for a good while after this as he didn’t get to do anything because it was world title or nothing. That was the stupid part of the whole thing but it took about 9 months for them to realize it. The match sucked due to all of the garbage in it though.

Stephanie talks to the Tracy girl about the Undertaker thing and she admits Heyman made the whole thing up and she’s just going along with it. They had a relationship before he married Taker. This is “confidentially between the two of them.” I guess the camera means nothing.

We recap the tag team tournament and basically the two teams have been flying through the whole thing and are unstoppable. If Benoit and Angle fight they’re both suspended for a year.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Edge vs. Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle

This was the undisputed match of the year so this more or less has to be awesome. Edge is about as hot as possible here and Rey is pretty new here. Yeah he had been around only three months or so here. Edge is just straight up awesome here and the whole thing is just greatness. Angle vs. Rey to start us off. We have what, about 25 world titles in there? Angle takes him to the mat and slaps him in the back of the head to be a jerk.

Kurt is really the only heel in this match. He literally throws Rey into his own corner because he wants a grownup apparently. Rey won’t tag out though because he wants Angle. They had a great opener at Summerslam so this works for me. Rey can’t get out of much of anything so he steps on Kurt’s foot and hits him with what can only be called an FU.

He busts out the speed and slaps Angle in the back of the head just like Kurt did earlier. The announce table being in pieces is funny for some reason. Here’s Edge to a big old pop. This is before Edge hurt his neck so he’s a totally different worker here. Off to Benoit now. Expect a LOT of play by play here as if the reviews I’ve heard are any indication there isn’t going to be much to make fun of.

The Canadians do a much more technical sequence and it’s a lot more entertaining than you would think a side headlock should be. Edge gets a knee to Benoit’s ribs and focuses on them for a while. Flapjack and a rollup get two. And there’s a knee from Kurt as Edge hits the ropes to give Benoit an advantage. They try the same thing again but Edge spears him this time.

Benoit and Angle double team Edge in a very nice sequence. Back to Angle now. The fans are all over him which is always good to hear. Better for them to be making noise at all than to be bored. Rear naked choke to Edge and Rey is getting antsy. Tazz adds in something by saying Angle is making sure Edge is facing his partner to mess with his head. Nicely done Mr. suplex machine.

Edge gets a big boot but walks into a belly to belly for two and here’s Chris again. Here are the rolling Germans as Edge is getting the tar beaten out of him. Benoit goes a little heel by drilling Rey to keep him from making the save. Benoit goes up for the headbutt and down he comes off a big old superplex.

There’s the big tag to Rey and he cranks things WAY up. The good thing is that he’s in there against two guys that can do the same thing. He sets Benoit for a Bronco Buster but goes with a running dropkick instead. HUH-FREAKING-ZAH! Rey and Benoit crank things up ever more but Benoit gets a counter and hooks up the Crossface until Edge finally saves.

Edge vs. Angle on the floor along with Benoit and Rey in the ring. 619 is blocked by Benoit but Edge hits a missile dropkick to drive Rey onto Benoit for a long two. This is all happening at a very fast pace. Rey goes up but Angle JUMPS from the mat to the top for the HUGE belly to belly off the top for another long two. Benoit’s face is like WHAT at that.

Angle in now vs. Rey as things slow down a bit. Rey starts a bit of a comeback but gets caught in a quick suplex and crashes for two. Back to the short and crazy Canadian now. After more of a beating Rey gets a headscissors to send Benoit into the post and we get double tags to bring in Edge vs. Kurt. Edge-O-Matic gets two and everyone is back in again.

Spear in the corner to Benoit and there’s the Bronco Buster. I withdraw my former HUZZAH! Spear in the corner again to Angle and Edge sits him on the middle rope. Rey runs at Edge who throws him into the air for a big old rana. Benoit looks to save with the diving headbutt but it crushes Angle and only gets two. Angle busts out a German from nowhere for two. He shouts at Edge to go to the middle which Edge does.

In a VERY nice spot, Rey runs at Edge who belly to bellies him into Angle to take down the bald one. That’s what he gets for calling spots that loudly. Benoit saves the spear and grabs the Crossface and Edge is in trouble but he gets a rope. He won’t let go so Rey hits a 619 out of somewhere. Angle Slam takes out Rey and Angle locks on the ankle lock.

Edge kicks off and grabs a small package for two. Spear gets two as Benoit saves and Rey takes out Benoit. Rey gets a running start at Edge again and Edge catches him and gives him a very nice launch into a moonsault to take out Benoit. SICK counter out of the Edgecution by Angle into the ankle lock. Edge counters that into an ankle lock of his own but Angle is all like OH NO YOU DIDN’T and counters into an ankle lock for the tap out and the titles. Sweet goodness as Cole says he’s going to applaud them for it.

Rating: A+. OH YES. Now this is what you get when you have two teams out there that are young and moving as fast as they can to make something look awesome. Smackdown was supposed to be the wrestling show back then and it certainly was.

These four plus Brock and Eddie were known as the Smackdown Six and were more or less there to have great matches every week. This is another fine example of it and it worked like a charm. Great match with some INSANE counters and saves and double teaming. Go watch it. Like now.

A doctor tells Taker that he shouldn’t give Taker a shot in the broken hand/wrist that he has. Nice to see him getting this maybe 15 minutes before the match starts.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Sweet merciful goodness Trish looks amazingly good tonight. She’s in her standard stuff but the blue with the long blonde hair and the big smile is WORKING. Victoria is currently known as Tara in TNA. Total bring the crowd down match after the awesome match they just had. Victoria is a bit more hardcore than the rest of the Divas. Trish was pretty good in the ring by this point and can more than carry herself.

You can tell that Trish has talent as she’s not afraid to go after Victoria here and clearly looks comfortable out there doing what she’s doing. When you watch the Divas today for the most part they clearly have to stop and make sure they’re doing everything right. With Trish like most of the male wrestlers, you can see she’s mostly going on instinct which is the better way of doing things.

Victoria in control here as she hits a front flip slingshot legdrop and then botches the living heck out of a monkey flip to the extent that Trish landed on Victoria rather than hitting the mat. Victoria throws on an old school backbreaker which is the kind where they throw the other girl over her shoulder and pulls down. A big spinning sideslam gets no cover so Trish gets an electric chair drop for two. Chick Kick gets two before a neckbreaker and rollup end it.

Rating: D. This was just there but the sloppiness of it hurt things. Trish was getting a lot better but still wasn’t as great as she would get. Victoria wasn’t a character yet and was just a bit nuts and said that Trish slept her way to the top of the fitness modeling world. She would get the title the next month in a hardcore match. This was pretty much nothing.

Post match Victoria kicks the blonde’s head off.

We get a clip of Rikishi being thrown off the top of the Cell in 2000. Rikishi is at the World (WWE nightclub/restaurant) and says the match is no joke. He predicts Taker wins it.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Taker vs. Lesnar. They had a match at Unforgiven where Taker lost by DQ when he threw Brock through the set. In short he just didn’t want to put Lesnar over so they gave them two matches in a row. Lesnar has been champion for two months here so this is his second major title defense. Brock broke Taker’s hand and we threw in that Tracy chick who meant nothing apparently. This gets the music video treatment.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker

In the Cell remember. Taker keeps lunging at Brock and gets taken to the mat for his trouble. Big powerslam gets two for the champion and there’s the cast to Lesnar’s ribs after he misses a charge in the corner. Brock tries to escape but can’t get out so he hammers on the arm instead. He goes with an armbar which isn’t something you often see in a Cell match.

Taker blasts him in the head with it which is a double edged sword. Actually it’s a hard cast but you get the metaphor. Brock is busted BAD. Heyman is all freaked out. Brock is bleeding but there’s been worse in ECW so I guess he’s mellowed. They hit the floor and Taker beats the tar out of him and covers on the floor for two. You can do that? I don’t remember that before.

More cast shots which all of a sudden don’t hurt him. I guess he’s lucky that the shot he got kicked in sometime between the first big shot with it and this set of them. Lesnar gets put in place for the apron legdrop but Taker goes up and drops a knee (I think) from the top instead for two on the floor again. Heyman shouts at Brock to get away from Taker. Taker kicks Heyman through the cage in a nice shot.

He follows that up by grabbing Paul’s tie and pulling on it to slam him into the cage. Taker gets out of the way of a charging Brock who crashes into Heyman too. Dang he’s taken a beating tonight. Brock gets a good shot in though and sends him into the cage. Heyman is busted open too. He slips his belt in and ties Taker up with it so Lesnar can annihilate him a bit. Heyman shouting YOU’RE GONNA DIE is great stuff.

Lesnar, a 300lb beast, swings a chair about ten times to drill Taker’s hand each time. So in other words, Taker is probably in need of major surgery now on it. Let’s see if it hurts at all. Brock gets the cast off or at least tries to. Heyman sounds demonic out there. There goes the cast completely as they’re actually in the ring now.

In a cool spot, Brock sits him on the top rope and uses the top of the cage to lift himself up and throw kicks at Taker. Taker blocks a superplex despite being more or less dead. He knocks Lesnar to the mat and manages to drop an elbow off the top with the right hand and seems to be just fine. Shocking isn’t it? I’m not used to seeing Taker’s bare hand. Taker kicks Brock into the cage and has momentum again.

Taker dives through the ropes and more or less completely misses but Brock sells it anyway. Cole thinks Taker’s broken right hand could be a weakness for him. Wow indeed. Steps to the head take Taker down again and busts him open. More steps to the head and Taker is more or less done. His face is COVERED in blood.

Back in the ring Brock gets a big spinebuster for two. ZERO pop for the kickout. And naturally Taker is able to throw big right hands and is “running on adrenaline” apparently. Oh give me a break. The blood on the camera is always a nice touch. Old School is blocked and Brock takes over again. Tazz: Undertaker has never been pinned or submitted. What the heck is this guy on?

F5 is reversed into a chokeslam for two which gets a bigger pop than the kickout did a minute ago. Brock goes for a Last Ride and is reversed. DDT gets two. Sweet GOODNESS Taker is bleeding badly. Brock does the punches in the corner which Taker counters with the Last Ride for two as Brock’s bloody hand grabs the rope.

In something SICK on the cover, Taker’s blood drips onto Brock’s face. That’s not good at all and really isn’t safe in the slightest. That’s a big reason as to why the blood policy is a good thing. Taker goes for the Tombstone and Brock is like screw this let’s end it and counters it before literally throwing Taker onto his shoulders for the F5 to retain. We then get what is supposed to be an iconic scene as he grabs the title and climbs to the top of the Cell where he holds it over his head to end the show.

Rating: C. Hard one to call here as the match itself is more or less crap. It’s about 27 minutes long and at least 15 of that is spent on the floor. Taker’s hand thing was eye rolling levels of stupid as all of a sudden a shot is able to heal 5 chair shots from Brock Lesnar to a broken hand. Brock looked great here, but the main reason this is a decent grade is the blood.

If you like bloody matches, RUN out and find a copy of this show. Taker’s blood is absolutely insane as you can’t see his face and it looks like there’s a hole in his forehead. It’s a big brawl but Taker was really looking bad out there, both from how his face looked to how he was working. I didn’t like the match, but the blood was insane.

Overall Rating: D+. This isn’t quite a one match show but it’s very close. The tag match is required viewing, but other than that there isn’t anything absolutely worth seeing. The Cell match is a very case by case basis of whether or not you should watch it. Other than that though everything here is very hit or miss and nothing you couldn’t find anywhere with relative ease. This show isn’t terrible, but it’s not very good. Tag title match is absolutely worth seeing though. Other than that, not really worth it.

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I won’t do a full review of it as it’s almost impossible to review a documentary in my style and I’ve done all of the matches before.  I’ll give some thoughts on it if I can remember to soon enough, but one line made me stop the DVD.They’re talking about Punk cashing in his first world title and HHH has this GEM.

“I’ve always thought it’s the guy who makes the title, not the title that makes the guy.”

This coming from HHH, who had a title invented for him so that he could hold the same belt Flair and Race held just so he could be on a list with them, which is hogwash by the way.  That title that Del Rio currently holds has as much to do with the NWA World Title as a belt I made when I was nine.  It has a lineage dating back about 11 years and started when HHH pulled it out of a briefcase.

Anyway, HHH saying that a guy makes a title is rather hysterical given that he’s had a title made for him as well as unified ALL of the titles into one so he could be champion of the universe.

Smackdown
Date: September 26, 2002
Location: San Diego Sport Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is another request and the last one for awhile I think. It’s the first show after Unforgiven and we have two main events here: Rey vs. Benoit vs. Angle and what I believe is the blowoff to Edge vs. Eddie in a No DQ match. This is the time when Smackdown was straight up awesome and Raw…uh…wasn’t. After a pretty weak Raw I just did this should be a nice breath of air. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video from Unforgiven where Stephanie was supposed to perform HLA (Hot Lesbian Action) with two good looking chicks but instead Eric made it be some fat chick who was Rikishi. Eric wound up getting a Stink Face.

Rikishi vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo beat Rikishi in a tag match last week by hitting him with a camera. He stalls to start (does that make sense?) and jumps Rikishi as they come back in. Chavo jumps into a choke though and Rikishi starts using the power. A knee blocks the splash in the corner and Chavo hammers away a bit. Rikishi hits the post and Chavo tries a Stinkface. Just guess how well that goes. Rikishi sets for one of his own but Chavo moves. The Banzai Drop gets knees and Chavo goes for the camera. It gets superkicked into his face and the Banzai ends this.

Rating: D+. This was fine. It closed whatever little story they had here and it gave them both something to do for two weeks. Little feuds like that used to be more common and they could be used more often. Not all the time or anything but for something quick like this it was fine.

Rikishi dances a bit.

Time for a bikini contest between Torrie and Nidia. Billy and Chuck are the judges for no apparent reason. Nidia is in sneakers of course and drops her gum which she puts back in her mouth. She gets a six from Chuck and a 9 from Billy. Hahaha. Torrie is her usual self and gets a perfect score. Billy and Chuck get in to congratulate Torrie and here are Noble and Tajiri to protest. Tag match ahoy!

Jamie Noble/Tajiai vs. Billy/Chuck

Billy and Chuck are in street clothes. What street that is I’m not sure. Adrian maybe? Billy and Tajiri get started. I don’t remember Tajiri being a heel but he and his partner go after Billy’s knee. Handspring elbow puts Billy down and a big kick gets two. Noble tries to cannonball down onto the leg but Billy kicks him to the floor. Billy still can’t tag as Tajiri knocks Palumbo to the floor. Noble hooks a unique leg lock on Billy’s bad knee.

Can we just watch Torrie slap the mat in that bikini again? Tajiri gets in some shots as we hear about the exclusive contracts between the brands, including Orton being signed to Raw. He was a young cocky heel at this point. I wonder what ever happened to him. Billy manages to get in a kick to Noble and a flapjack allows for the hot tag. Chuck cleans house and tries a powerbomb but Tajiri counters into a victory roll attempt. Chuck holds him in place though and Code Red (Doomsday Device) ends this.

Rating: C. Fine match here and when you throw something together inside of 30 seconds that’s as good as you can ask for. Billy and Chuck had some good chemistry and it worked here. I miss random showdowns like these or the first match and they work pretty well most pf the time, especially when you have talented people in there.

Funaki (POP??) goes to talk to Brock. Funaki is terrified and asks if Taker gets a rematch. Brock says he’ll answer it in the ring, which excites Funaki way too much.

Stephanie is in her office when Kurt comes in. Angle talks about how great things are with the whole Bischoff thing. He wants a rematch with Benoit and Steph says she has a different idea for the main event. Rey pops in and Angle makes a child labor law joke. Triple threat is made with Benoit being added in.

Here’s Funaki for the interview with Brock. Funaki comes out with the chair that Taker half killed Lesnar with at the PPV. He asks Brock about the chair and Brock isn’t happy. Funaki tries to defend himself and the beating is great. The belly to belly literally had Funaki sailing through the air in a free fall. I miss the F5.

Torrie is in the back and Dawn Marie makes fun of her. Is there a point to this?

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

No DQ here. My goodness was Edge over at this point. Eddie takes over quickly as they go fast paced. Edge is cool with that and a monkey flip sends Eddie into the ropes. Eddie gets in a shot and a slingshot guillotine for two. The crowd is way into this too. Off to an armbar by the Canadian but Eddie hits an enziguri to take over. Off to a chinlock by Eddie but Edge reverses and hits a scoop powerslam to break the momentum.

Edge goes up but gets caught in a superplex for two. Eddie knocks him to the floor but Edge finds a ladder. Oh dear. The referee goes down via a ladder shot and Eddie pops Edge with a chair. Not that it matters due to the rules but it’s such an Eddie thing to do. A chair shot to the ribs keeps Edge down but the Frog Splash misses. Everyone is down and we take a break.

Back with Eddie stomping Edge down in the corner. There’s a sleeper by Eddie as the referee that took the ladder shot is carried out. Gee I’m certainly glad he got his care in due time. Edge got a very long two off a spear during the break. He goes up again but Eddie snaps off a rana (leg scissors according to Cole) to take over. Guerrero tries to run up the corner for another rana but Edge counters into a sitout powerbomb and both guys are down.

Edge brings in the ladder but Eddie dropkicks it into him. Eddie brings in a second ladder to sandwich Edge between a pair of them. A slingshot hilo looks to have killed the Canadian but since he can’t immediately cover it only gets two. Eddie climbs a ladder and Edge goes after him. After Guerrero rams Edge’s head into the ladder a few times, it’s a PERFECT sunset bomb to kill Edge even more. That looked AWESOME.

Somehow it only gets two. The crowd is way into it as they certainly should be. Eddie sets Edge in front of the ladder in the corner but his charge is countered into a backdrop into the ladder and both guys are down again. They go up to a ladder in the other corner and Edge slams Eddie’s head into the top of the ladder just like Eddie did a few moments before. He loads up an Edgecution and KILLS Eddie with a DDT off the ladder into the middle of the ring for the pin to finally end this.

Rating: A. And this is why Smackdown is better than Raw in 2002. This was about a BRAWL and two guys destroying each other rather than “how many times can we have Flair save HHH’s title while he has the same boring match over and over again”. Great stuff and the fans loved it the whole way through.

Eddie gets a standing ovation as he leaves.

Benoit is congratulated by that idiot Marc Lloyd for his great win on Sunday. Benoit: “YOU SUCK!” That was awesome, but he’s only talking about what the fans chant at Angle. He says he’ll win tonight.

Matt Hardy brags to Shannon Moore about making Undertaker run away. Shannon points out the Lesnar factor in that but Matt takes full credit for it. Matt leaves and Brock is watching.

Video on Wrestlemania which is coming to Seattle.

Undertaker vs. Matt Hardy

Matt offers a handshake which Taker accepts, although he uses it to whip Matt into the corner. Let the pain begin. Matt gets in a few shots but tries a Twist of Fate which just ticks the big man off. Chokeslam kills Hardy but it’s the Last Ride that gets the pin. Just s squash.

Lesnar runs in post match and blasts Taker with the belt. A second shot keeps Taker down and he’s busted open.

Taker is stumbling around in the back and looking for Lesnar.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Christ Benoit

Before the others come out, Kurt implies Rey is an illegal alien. Apparently most of San Diego is also. Brawl to start with Rey jumping all over the place. Rana gets a fast two on Benoit. Kurt throws him to the floor though so the amateur guys can go to the mat. In a funny bit, Rey tries to get back in but Kurt knocks him back and heads to the mat again with Benoit.

Ankle lock is countered quickly and Rey is back in. This is one of those matches that is going way too fast to keep up with. Angle is knocked to the floor and Benoit hits a belly to back for two on Rey. Mysterio is pretty much brand new at this point so his legs are still in one piece. Well one piece per leg that is. Mysterio is sent outside and Angle comes back in to take over again.

Benoit and Angle have their usual intense and back and forth mini-match with the Canadian hitting Rolling Germans on the American. Angle Slam takes Benoit down but Rey pops up with a missile dropkick to steal a cover on Benoit, getting two. Angle pulls Rey to the floor but walks into another German so Chris can take over. Rey comes back in with another missile dropkick to knock Benoit to the floor. Kurt launches Rey to the floor but onto Benoit again.

The two bigger guys go at it even more and Benoit gets caught in an ankle lock. They go to the ropes and it’s a double 619. West Coast Pop to Angle is countered but Rey counters the counter into a sunset flip for two. Angle gets caught in the Crossface but Kurt escapes. When he kicks Chris off, Rey rolls him up for two. Benoit Germans Angle to the floor but gets caught in a spinning springboard West Coast Pop (NOT A LEG SCISSORS YOU IDIOT COLE!) for the pin on Benoit. That ending was awesome!

Rating: B+. Another great match here as this was the signature of Smackdown for about the next four months: guys going out there and having great fast paced matches where the young dudes got to tear the house down. They would add Edge into this at No Mercy and have the match of the year for the Smackdown tag titles. Great stuff here.

Overall Rating: A. The first part wasn’t great, but when you get two great matches on one show like this, it’s an automatic classic show. Smackdown was totally feeling it at this point while Raw just got worse and worse every passing month. Lesnar would turn face in a few months as for some reason Big Show got the title but that’s another story. Great show here and one of the better ones I can ever remember.

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TNA Weekly PPV #13
Date: September 25, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

So after last week’s near disaster we’re back to Tennessee for more of TNA’s early nonsense. This week our main event is Jarrett vs. BG James to keep up the feud that no one is really interested in but it’s Jarrett’s company so there’s not much else you can do. Other than that we’ve got Lynn vs. Killings again, although this time for the X Title. Let’s get to it.

We open in the back with Siaki and Lynn brawling due to Sonny costing Lynn the world title last week.

Tenay and West run down the card.

Sonny Siaki vs. Jerry Lynn

Siaki is a more generic heel now and isn’t dressed like Elvis anymore. Red takes him out before Siaki can eve get to the ring with a senton followed by a shooting star off the apron. They head inside where Siaki comes back with a flapjack and neckbreaker for two, only to have Red snap off a pair of kicks. The Amazing one shrugs off some shoulders in the corner to hit a reverse tornado DDT for two more.

Red charges into a backdrop to send him to the floor though, allowing Siaki to drop him onto various metal things. Somewhat geeky manager Mortimer Plumtree is watching from the ramp. Back in and Siaki gets a few near falls off a belly to belly suplex before putting on a quick bearhug. Red fights out and seems to leave a leapfrog a bit short. Oh wait he landed on Siaki’s back on purpose to turn it into a sunset bomb for two. Red hits a kind of STO off the middle rope but misses some kind of a dive off the top, allowing Siaki to hit a kind of neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: C+. Good opener here with power vs. speed which almost never fails. Red was a flip machine which is fine, as Siaki played the heel role well at this point. I don’t remember Red being around much before this so seeing him was a nice surprise for the fans. He would be a big cult favorite for a long time.

Post match Jorge Estrada pops up on the stage and says before tonight is over, he’s getting Siaki’s Elvis gear. I’ve heard of worse reasons for a feud.

In the back, Ron Killings is beating up Amazing Red, shouting that he’s getting rid of the X-Division because it devalues the world title.

We recap America’s Most Wanted (Harris and Storm) winning the tag belts last week.

Tag Titles: James Storm/Chris Harris vs. Brian Lee/Ron Harris

This is a tables match and Harris/Storm aren’t known as AMW yet. For the sake of simplicity, only Ron Harris will be referred to as Harris here. The challengers jump them to start and only one person has to go through the table for the win. It’s Lee pounding on Chris to start but Chris comes back with a backdrop and clothesline to put both guys on the floor. Chris dives on Lee but gets caught, only to have Storm dive as well to take everyone down.

Another brawl breaks out as the tables haven’t been a factor yet. Harris pounds Chris down before it’s back to Lee for more slow pounding. Harris slides in a table and sets it up in the corner but Storm makes the save. After Storm is sent out, Harris powerslams Chris down instead of sending him through a table because Harris isn’t that bright. He does the same thing with a suplex and it’s off to Lee for some of the worst elbow drops you’ll ever see. He basically pulls his elbow up before hitting Chris’ chest.

Lee misses a top rope knee drop and Chris makes the tag off to Storm. Everything breaks down and Harris is knocked to the floor. Lee is sent to the apron but manages to clothesline both champions down. AMW fights up and knocks Lee off the apron through a table which I don’t remember being set up to retain.

Rating: D-. Not only did the match suck, but did we really need a gimmick to protect RON FREAKING HARRIS and Brian Lee? TNA is trying to push AMW as a big deal but they can’t even get a clean pin over these two lunkheads? Last week there was the mess with the ropes and now they have to have a tables match? Is Ron Harris’ spot THAT important? The match sucked too as the tables were barely a factor.

Post match Harris beats up the champions and puts Storm through a table. Security comes out to break it up until Don Harris, Ron’s twin brother, comes out for a staredown. The champions are a complete afterthought here, and we get the last thing we need here: ANOTHER guy named Harris.

In the parking lot, Bruce gets into a fight with a handicapped woman named Sara the Ticket Lady. Can we please end this character already?

Here’s Ron Killings to complain about how bad of a town “Trashville” is. Truth complains about rats and says the fans wouldn’t like them in their bed. That’s either a stupid line or a REALLY clever insider lingo joke but we’ll go with the former. He’s also not happy with the prejudice going on around here because he hasn’t seen Ricky Steamboat since he won the title. Truth doesn’t like not having merchandise or a private dressing room and as he’s starting to complain about the X-Division, here’s BG James.

James talks about a posse in his pants and their time back in the WWF where James stood up for Truth with the boys in the back. They go back and forth with stupid lines and the brawl is on with BG taking over. BG says that just unlike Demi Moore and Tom Cruise, he can handle the Truth. Next.

Brian Lawler and his girlfriend April argue about nothing in particular. At least I think they do as you can hear JB hyping up the card to the live crowd in the background. I mean he’s drowning out the interview.

AJ Styles vs. Low Ki

This is 2/3 falls and the winner gets a shot at the X Title. Feeling out process to start as AJ cranks on the arm before they head to the mat for a headlock by Styles. Back up and Low Ki escapes the wristlock and chops away, only to be taken down by an atomic drop. Low Ki sends him to the floor and hits a running flip attack off the apron to take over again. Back in and a hard kick to AJ’s back gets two and it’s back to the chops to the neck.

AJ crotches him on the top rope and hits a backbreaker/gutbuster combo to take over again. A nice dropkick in the corner gets two for Styles but Low Ki comes back with some chops. Off to a chinlock with AJ’s knee in Low Ki’s back for a few seconds before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Back up again and Low Ki hits what we would call the Disaster Kick for two before putting on the seated Dragon Sleeper for the submission and the first fall.

The second fall begins with Low Ki being sent throat first into the middle rope and clotheslined down for two. A delayed suplex puts Ki down and AJ pounds away. Styles hits a standing enziguri to put Low on the floor, but as he heads out, Low Ki kicks Styles in the head. AJ slams him down onto the ramp to break another Dragon Sleeper before we head back inside. A sunset bomb is countered by Low Ki but AJ keeps rolling into a sunset flip for the pin and the second fall.

AJ poses so Low Ki kicks him square in the jaw to send him to the floor. Once they’re both on the floor, AJ takes out Low’s knee before firing off kicks to the knee back inside. They both go up to the middle rope and after the Styles Clash is broken up, AJ comes off with a shin breaker to Low Ki. Off to a modified spinning toe hold but Low Ki rolls through it for two. Low Ki rolls through a powerbomb into a rana for two but can’t hook the Dragon Sleeper again. After a somewhat botched rollup attempt, AJ hits the Clash for the pin and the title shot next week.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but the lack of selling got annoying after awhile. I’m still not a fan of Low Ki at all as the kicking drives me crazy, but at least he threw in some ranas here to keep things fresher. AJ getting back into the X Title picture was a solid idea as he and Lynn had the best matches in the company so far. Not bad at all here.

Jarrett says he’ll eliminate Hall, Waltman and BG to get the title that he wants.

Elix Skipper/Brian Lawler vs. Scott Hall/Syxx-Pac

Skipper slips while trying to moonsault into the ring. Lawler makes sure to cover up his girlfriend’s body during the entrance. Pac and Skipper start things off with Elix getting a crotch chop for his efforts. Hall gives Elix one of the same, sending Skipper into such a rage that he misses a spin kick. A second attempt connects with Pac’s jaw and it’s off to Hall vs. Lawler. Hall throws the toothpick at Lawler, sending him out to the floor in a fit. Back in, more stalling, more yelling at the girlfriend.

Off to Skipper again before Lawler has any contact at all. At least he earned his paycheck tonight. Anyway Elix gets pounded down and chokeslammed for two before bailing to the floor. Some double teaming by the heels allows them to crotch Hall on the post and it’s off to Lawler for some biting and punching. A suplex puts Hall down and it’s off to Skipper for a top rope ax handle.

Hall puts Skipper down with a belly to back suplex but let’s look at Lawler yelling at Don West for talking to April. Off to Syxx who cleans house. An X-Factor gets two on Skipper with Lawler making the save. Everything breaks down and Pac misses the Bronco Buster on Skipper. Lawler and Hall fight as Elix goes up top, only to dive into the X-Factor for the pin.

Rating: D. These matches with the big stars are getting to be insufferable. They’re sloppy, by the book and really dull all the way throughout. I have no idea why Elix Skipper was involved in the match here but at least he was someone young and different from the regular “stars”. Nothing to see here at all.

Post match Jarrett runs out to beat down Hall and Pac.

AJ implies that he wants a ladder match for the title.

Bruce comes out and calls himself the only woman in TNA. Sara the Ticket Lady comes out and yells and that’s about it.

Kid Kash vs. Jorge Estrada

Feeling out process to start with Estrada taking over with an armdrag. Mortimer Plumtree is watching again as Jorge headscissors Kash down and clotheslines him to the floor. Jorge leaves a suicide dive WAY short and lands on his head in a SICK crash. Back in and Kash takes over with a double springboard backsplash for two back inside. Estrada thankfully doesn’t have a broken neck and comes back with a hiptoss and a standing shooting star for two.

Jorge goes up but Kash shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch him down. A top rope rana brings Estrada down but Kash charges into an elbow in the corner. Kash pokes him in the eye and hits a DDT for two, only to have his rana countered into a powerbomb for two for Jorge. Estrada busts out the TCB (Taking Care of Business), a big flippy dive for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a battle of the flips here which is about what you would expect from a show like this. Estrada isn’t bad and Kash is Kash so the match was entertaining but the lack of selling continues. This is another match which was here to give us the post match stuff because we need our Elvis developments.

Estrada demands his suit back and we see Siaki burning it in a barrel.

We recap Siaki costing Lynn the world title last week.

X-Division Title: Ron Killings vs. Jerry Lynn

This is a lumberjack match and all of the lumberjacks are X-Division guys. Killings tries to bail to the floor early but Low Ki sends him back inside. Back in and Lynn pounds away with a bunch of right hands before bulldogging Truth down for two. Truth bails to the floor again for the same result, only this time he manages a top rope shoulder to take over. Now it’s Jerry getting thrown to the floor for a stomping by Kash. AJ, the only X guy not at ringside, is on the stage with a ladder.

Back in and the challenger gets two off a backbreaker and the same from a powerslam. That works so well that Truth hits another one before putting on a front facelock with his feet on the ropes. Lynn comes back with a reverse DDT and a powerbomb for two more but Truth stops him cold with a low blow. Low Ki is annoyed and yells at Killings, so Jerry rams them together and hits a TKO to retain the title.

Rating: C-. So let me make sure I’ve got this straight. Truth is feuding with the X-Division, so his first match in the feud is against the champion. He loses there, so now he goes down the division to fight lower level talent, all while being the World Champion? Does this sound as stupid to anyone else but me? The match wasn’t great but it was better than last week’s mess.

West hypes up the show for next week.

BG James vs. Jeff Jarrett

Main event time. BG says he’s Jeff’s second mountain and he can’t be negotiated. BG shoulders him down to start and pounds away with right hands. The shaky knee gets two but Jeff comes back with an enziguri to take over. Roadie fires off the juke and jive as we hear about them being together in the WWF back in 95. Out to the floor for some chair shots from James to knock Jeff into the crowd.

Jarrett gets in some chair shots of his own to take over and we go back to ringside. Jeff slams him into the announce table and pounds on the back and face with the chair some more. Back inside we go for the running crotch again in 619 position and a sleeper by Jeff. James fights up after two arm drops and puts on a sleeper of his own, only to be suplexed down by Jarrett.

Both guys are down now which is likely a good thing given the ample gut that Road Dogg has on him at the moment. Back up and James takes over with right hands but the referee takes a shot to the head. Jeff wedges a chair between the ropes but goes face first into it instead, giving James two. Elix Skipper and Brian Lawler come out to help Jarrett but Jeff nails Lawler by mistake, giving BG two more. The referee gets rid of the cronies so Jeff can hit James with a chair for a near fall. BG hits the anal rape pumphandle for two, only to have Skipper and Lawler run in for a DQ.

Rating: D. Could this have been any more overbooked? At the end of the day this BG James/Jarrett/Lawler stuff is completely uninteresting and I’m still not sure why they’re even fighting. The match was your standard Attitude Era brawl and the match was nothing of note. The X Title match really should have gone on last here.

Post match Hall and Syxx-Pac come out for the big brawl but Truth evens the odds and Jarrett and company stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. These shows are all suffering from the same problems: the overbooking of the main event and the lack of anyone caring about people like Lawler and BG James. Now I will give them this: they’re logically setting up feuds and stories with what looks like a six man tag set up for next week. The X Title stuff is WAY better than anything else but it’s not enough to get you through a two hour show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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TNA Weekly PPV #16
Date: October 9, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

Things are starting to pick up around here and we have a new story with the guy in white attacking Killings. If my memory is correct, that will start a story that lasts for months to come. Other than that tonight we have Jerry Lynn vs. AJ Styles for the X Title in a ladder match for the second time in two weeks. Also if we’re lucky, we might get more Brian Lawler! Oh and Chris Rock is here for some reason. Let’s get to it.

West and Tenay hype up the show.

We look at the man in white attacking Killings last week.

It’s supposed to be time for the opening match but here’s Ron Killings instead. Truth does some basic “your sports teams suck” stuff so the fans tell him he’s overrated. He says the man in white is the mystery partner in a six man tag later tonight and that’s not cool with the champ. Don West of all people cuts him off, saying that Truth isn’t telling the truth. It was ok when Killings came in last week to jump BG and Syxx-Pac but it’s not cool when someone jumps Killings?

We get a clip from the end of last week’s show and Killings says West just screwed up. Compared to him, West is just a pebble on the beach so Truth wants Syxx-Pac, James or the man in white. Cue James and Syxx-Pac with the former talking about drinking Coronas and how we don’t live in a perfect world.

Curt Hennig walks out, apparently the mystery partner for later tonight. Hennig says he doesn’t like the Truth and Pac says they’re going to do to Truth what his mama should have done years ago. The three come to the ring and here are Jarrett and Lawler for the big brawl. Our heroes clean house and the heels retreat. BG wants the match right now so here’s a referee.

Curt Hennig/BG James/Syxx-Pac vs. Jeff Jarrett/Brian Lawler/Ron Killings

BG and Jarrett get things going but Curt gets the tag before there’s any contact. Mike is immediately running through Curt’s career resume which is one of his trademarks anymore. No contact until about a minute in when Curt hits a single right hand to knock Jeff into the corner. Hennig runs Jeff over and chops Jarrett’s partners down for fun. Back in and Jeff fires off right hands of his own followed by a Hennig neck snap to Hennig, earning him a right hand for gimmick infringement.

Jeff is sent to the floor again as Lawler is freaking out. Back in and it’s Lawler vs. Syxx-Pac with Brian missing a cross body but coming back with a powerslam. Off to the world champion who gets punched in the face by BG but nips back up, only to walk into the big right hand to put Truth back down. Back up and Truth does the splits to avoid a clothesline and hits the ax kick for two. Jarrett comes back in but misses his running crotch attack on the ropes, only to have Truth come back in to keep control.

Lawler gets the tag and drops BG with a neckbreaker for two and it’s back to Jarrett again. Jeff walks into a clothesline and it’s hot tag to Syxx-Pac. Kicks abound but the Bronco Buster hits a boot between the legs as Pac plays some Ricky Morton. Truth powerslams him down and it’s back to Jarrett with a suplex for two. Really basic stuff at the moment and it’s not exactly thrilling. Back to Lawler for a chinlock but Pac fights up with something resembling a Sky High.

The real hot tag (minus the heat) brings in Hennig and house is cleaned. BG chases Jarrett up the ramp with a chair as Lawler hits Hennig low to put him down. A guillotine legdrop gets two as Pac makes the save and gets two of his own on Truth with the X-Factor. Lawler takes out the referee and here’s the man in white, now with Mr. Wrestling III written on the back of his jacket to powerbomb Truth down. The PerfectPlex is enough to pin Truth.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t the worst match in the world and it definitely picked up near the end, but this was a bad sign for the main event picture. At the end of the day, these guys aren’t moving well at all and the matches range from passable at best to boring and sluggish at worst. This wasn’t horrible but at nearly fifteen minutes it went on WAY too long.

BG James is out cold in the back with a pipe next to him.

We look back at the X-Division Title match last week with Jerry Lynn getting “cheated” out of the title, only to have it handed back to him in a decision that screwed over the heel.

Here’s X Champion Jerry Lynn with something to say. He challenges Sonny Siaki, the man that cost him the title last week, to a match on the next show. Cue Sonny who says let’s do it right now. Jerry charges up the ramp but gets thrown off the stage, getting his leg caught in the barricade. Tenay talks about Jerry’s history of knee injuries and we hear Lynn say “not again.” We do the stretcher job as this eats up a few minutes.

Syxx-Pac apologizes to Low Ki over insulting him last week. Low Ki is about to respond but AJ Styles comes in to say that he’s beaten Low Ki four times so he should be Syxx-Pac’s favorite wrestler. AJ leaves and Low Ki and Syxx-Pac agree that Styles is a jerk.

Tag Titles: Spanish Announce Team vs. America’s Most Wanted

Storm starts with Jose and they flip around a bit until James hooks a cross armbreaker of all things. Jose comes back with a dropkick to the knee and something resembling an inverted figure four, only to have Storm grab a nearby rope. Storm comes back with a hurricanrana but Joel comes in with a missile dropkick, only to be speared down by Harris. Jose goes up but gets shoved down onto Joel onto the floor. Harris follows up the shove with a BIG plancha to take both Maximos (the SAT if that wasn’t clear) out.

Back in and AMW double teams Jose, only to have Joel crotch Storm to break up something off the top. A moonsault/neckbreaker combo (think the Motor City Machine Guns’ Skull and Bones but with a moonsault) gets two on Storm but James comes back with a freaky spin into a Downward Spiral for two. Off to Harris for a big tilt-a-whirl powerslam, good for two on Jose. Things settle down a bit and Jose gets two of his own off a tornado DDT.

Joel powerslams Harris and everything breaks down with a moonsault getting two on Storm. James comes back with a big old superkick for a delayed two but a Maximos double team takes the Cowboy down. A guillotine legdrop gets two for Joel but he dives into the Catatonic, only to have Jose break up the pin. The SAT loads up the Spanish Fly but Storm makes the save, setting up an overly complicated double powerbomb into a whip Rock Bottom for the pin to retain the belts.

Rating: B-. This got a bit too sloppy at the end but I’ll take whatever I can get for tag team wrestling int his company at the moment. As has been the case for weeks now, AMW is the only good team around and they’re just looking for some decent opponents. The Maximos aren’t great but they’re better than anyone else AMW has gotten to face so far as champions.

Here’s Chris Rock for the first big celebrity appearance for the company. He says TNA is the best wrestling in the world and invites anyone to come prove it’s not fake….and that’s it. Literally he was in the ring for 30 seconds.

Kid Kash vs. Ace Steel vs. Low Ki vs. Tony Mamaluke

This is a 15 minute iron man match for no reason whatsoever. Steel is most famous for training CM Punk and Colt Cabana and comes out to what would become Abyss’ music. During the entrances, we see a sign saying Totally Nuke Al-Qaeda for what has to be the tenth time tonight, but it’s been in various different places. It’s either a group of fans or a plant by the company for whatever reason. Mortimer Plumtree comes out to do commentary.

We start with the usual multi-man spots where it’s so clear they’re working together that it takes away almost all of the illusion from the match. Low Ki pounds on Kash in the corner as the other two fight in the middle of the ring. The pairings trade off as armdrags abound, setting up a standoff. Mamaluke dropkicks down Low Ki and Steel followed by a double abdominal stretch, only to have Kash springboard in to break it up.

Kash snaps off some hurricanranas before nearly breaking Steel’s neck on a third. Low Ki and Steel head to the floor where Kash hits a huge dive to take both guys out. Naturally Mamaluke dives onto the three of them, putting everyone down on the floor. In a stupid looking move, Kash and Low Ki get up on opposite sides of the apron and springboard at each other for a double clothesline. Steel and Mamaluke come in with legdrops for a double pin, giving them a fall each.

The fans are behind Low Ki as Ace pounds him in the corner as the match slows way down. We have under eight minutes to go as Kash hits a fisherman’s buster on Mamaluke for a pin, leaving Low Ki as the only person with no pins. Mamaluke and Kash head to the floor as Low Ki’s springboard is almost caught in a fireman’s carry, only to roll down into an armbar for a submission for Low Ki, giving us a fourway http://buysoma.net tie. I guess we’re supposed to assume Mike meant pins and submissions when he said you could only win by pin.

Kash slams Mamaluke off the announce table, bouncing him off his head. Low Ki hurts his ankle on a springboard so Steel spins his leg around to work on the leg even more. Five minutes left now as Tony and Kash fight on the floor. Low Ki gets a rollup for two on Steel with 4:20 to go. A Kash powerbomb gets two on Tony with four minutes even left. Everyone knocks everyone else down for the next minute. Steel breaks up a Kash Boston crab and we have two minutes left.

Everyone is moving slowly now so this isn’t exactly thrilling. Kash and Ki chop it out on the floor but head back in with 1:00 left. Steel hits a running corner dropkick on Ki with 30 seconds to go. Mamaluke hooks a Russian legsweep off the apron and into the barricade to take out Kash. We’ve got 15 seconds left as Ki hooks his leg choke on the ropes followed by the spinning springboard enziguri, but Steel falls into the ropes. Ki pulls him back into the ring with two seconds left. Ki grabs a rollup but Plumtree trips him up to give Steel a pin, even though the bell ring before the referee was even on the mat.

Rating: D. Matches like these are the kind of indy nonsense that gets on people’s nerves. I have zero idea what the point was in making this an iron man match other than it sounded good on paper. Surviving a fifteen minute match doesn’t prove you’re tough as anyone should be able to last that long. There was no flow, no story, and a botched ending on top of that. Terribly booked match, but I’m sure I just don’t get REAL wrestling, right?

Here’s NASCAR driver Hermie Sadler because there’s a TNA car in the minor league race. He tries to get us to care about a race but here’s Miss TNA Bruce to interrupt. Bruce makes jokes about Hermie driving a car and demands that he pick a career already. This brings out Jeff Jarrett to insult Sadler and demand a bigger name to drive the TNA car. Sadler makes fun of Jeff for not having any titles but says he respects Ron Killings. He asks if Bruce is a man or a woman and a brawl is on, drawing in Jarrett and BG James for the save. Horribly stupid segment and no one cares about Sadler.

Ron Harris/Sonny Siaki vs. Chris Michaels/Rick Michaels

GET DIFFERENT LAST NAMES ALREADY! This is a #1 contender match between two teams that haven’t teamed together in the company before. Harris and Siaki jump the Michaels to start and take it to the floor. We start with Rick vs. Siaki as Tenay tries to get us to care about Rick’s accomplishments in the indys. Off to Chris vs. Ron with Harris pounding away in the corner. We’re definitely in squash territory here. Chris gets in some armdrags to bring in Rick, only to be thrown down by Ron.

Back to Siaki as this slow destruction continues. Rick comes back with a quick neckbreaker before it’s back to Chris, only to have Harris send him into the barricade. Siaki pounds on Chris a bit more inside but Rick gets the ice cold tag to clean a bit of the house. Sonny hits something resembling a Samoan drop on Chris but Harris breaks up the pin. He tells Siaki to hold Michaels up, only to kick Sonny in the face by mistake, giving Chris the fluke pin.

Rating: F. We just sat through seven and a half minutes for a screwy ending with one team we’ve never seen before beating another team we’ve never seen before. West tries to call this the biggest upset ever in TNA, but it makes the winners 1-0 and the losers 0-1. How is that an upset? On top of that, we’re now in week three of an angle for RON HARRIS. Was there NO ONE ELSE on the roster that could have done this story???

Post match Ron and Sonny slug it out until Don Harris makes the save and beats up Sonny. Just get to the Harris Brother reunion so no one can care again.

Bill Behrens comes out to say that Jerry Lynn can’t wrestle, so the title is vacated. However, due to legal requirements, there will be a title match so it’s Ace Steel vs. AJ Styles for the title in a ladder match instead. Jerry will get a title match with rules of his choosing upon returning. Low Ki comes out to cry foul on the Plumtree interference.

Plumtree and Steel come out to insult Ki and dear goodness I do not care. Plumtree mentions Low Ki trying to beat up Tammy Sytch, which is a reference to a recent indy show that maybe .3% of the audience will have heard of. Ki calls Plumtree a nerd and here’s southern hick Bob Armstrong because there aren’t enough freaking people in this segment. Armstrong makes Ace and Ki for the spot in the title match.

Low Ki vs. Ace Steel

Steel goes right for Ki’s knee like anyone would as this looks more like a UFC fight than a wrestling match. Note that I didn’t say a good UFC fight but a UFC fight nonetheless. Plumtree gets in a chair shot to the bad leg behind the referee’s back to send him to the floor. Armstrong and Behrens say the match is over and Ki wins by DQ.

Armstrong says the X-Division has been a mess since the beginning (not really but thanks for burying the most popular thing you have) so anyone in the X-Division can come out here and be in the ladder match for the title. Well why in the world not.

X-Division Title: Ace Steel vs. Jose Maximo vs. Joel Maximo vs. AJ Styles vs. Kid Kash vs. Tony Mamaluke

The Maximos pull out ladders as AJ suplexes Mamaluke. Everyone goes to the floor for a big springboard shooting star from Styles. Back in and AJ hits the moonsault into the inverted DDT on Joel before taking Jose down as well. There’s a brainbuster to Kash before AJ sends Steel into the barricade. The ladders are finally brought into the ring but Jose dropkicks Mamaluke off the ladder for the save.

Everyone is hit with or sent into a ladder until it’s down to Steel hanging AJ in a tree of woe on a ladder for a baseball slide. Kash rides a ladder down onto AJ as the Maximos are back inside. There’s no flow or anything to this so expect a bunch of random spots for the rest of the match. Joel gets crushed between two ladders in the corner and Styles gets suplexed down by Mamaluke. Kash superplexes Steel down and goes up the ladder, only to be shoved down with ease.

After more brawling, Kash knocks Tony off the ladder but tries a moonsault onto Steel and Jose instead of grabbing the title. Well he never all that bright. AJ rams his shoulder into the ladder to knock it to the floor but completely misses the Maximos he was aiming at. Tony is holding his arm and is likely injured. Styles and Kash both set up ladders and go up, only to be joined by the Maximos.

The Spanish Fly is blocked by Kash so he “hits” a “tornado DDT” on Jose, meaning he grabbed him and kind of fell backwards, driving the top of Jose’s head into the mat. Mamaluke goes up and the ladders collapse before Kash can powerbomb him down. AJ goes up and gets shoved right into the referee who wasn’t needed anyway. Kash dives off the top onto Joel for no apparent reason as Jose and Styles fight on the ladder. AJ rides the ladder down onto Jose who was crushed under both AJ and the ladder.

Kash dropkicks the ladder to take out Mamaluke and Steel, putting everybody down. Joel goes up with Kash and hits a C4 off the ladder followed by a sunset bomb from Styles to Ace, leaving Tony on top. Tony can’t quite hit a tornado DDT on Styles as this mess needs to end. Steel and Joel are fighting on the floor and AJ tosses Mamaluke out to join him. Styles superplexes Kash down and goes up, but here’s freaking Syxx-Pac to suplex him down, climb up and take the title.

Rating: C-. It doesn’t matter. That’s the title of this entire show: it doesn’t matter. These six guys were all working hard, but the match was such a mess and WAY too dangerous to make it work. On top of that, it doesn’t matter though because Syxx-Pac gets to come in and win the title in 30 seconds. That’s what WWE would do with Hornswoggle and it was just as stupid. Horrible way to end things here.

Next week, you guessed it: LADDER MATCH!

Overall Rating: D-. Again, IT DOESN’T MATTER. That iron man match? Didn’t matter. The six guys killing themselves for fifteen minutes? Didn’t matter. The Michaels guys winning? Didn’t matter, as the focus is still on Ron Harris. This was like the brainchild of one of those fans on the internet that drives you crazy and has no idea how wrestling actually works. We had meaningless gimmicks added to matches, stories being ignored for the sake of throwing everyone into one match, and a big SWERVE at the end because why not. This was awful with very little to remember at all. Horrid show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 25, 2002
Location: Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 10,059
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting closer to Wrestlemania and the main events are set. The only change so far has been Stephanie joining Jericho on Smackdown to set up the real main event of HHH vs. Stephanie at Wrestlemania. Other than that there isn’t much to say as the midcard will fill itself in over the next few weeks. Let’s get to it.

I’ve already done the March 4 and March 11 shows. The links can be found at the end of this review.

We open with a recap from the NWO on Smackdown for what they’ve done to Austin and Rock so far. Austin came out in the truck and chased the NWO off, eventually kidnapping Hall and beating the tar out of him. Why this is set to Rey Mysterio’s WCW theme music is beyond me.

Theme song.

Val Venis is at WWE New York.

Here’s the NWO to open the show with Hall pushing a wheelbarrow. Hogan doesn’t care that the fans are upset by his attack on Rock. It felt good to hurt Rock and apparently Rock will be here tonight because being hit in the head with a hammer by a 6’6 300lb man and being crushed by a semi-truck is a one week injury. Hall talks about what Austin did to him on Smackdown, setting up their Wrestlemania match. The wheelbarrow was never mentioned at all.

Recap of the WWF on Fear Factor, won by Matt Hardy.

Tag Titles: Billy and Chuck vs. Hardy Boyz

Billy and Chuck won the belts on Smackdown. Chuck punches Jeff down to start but gets caught in a jawbreaker. Off to Matt for some double teaming in the corner and a double suplex for two. The Twist of Fate is broken up and Billy takes Matt down with a clothesline. Chuck stomps Matt down in the corner and pounds away, only to be caught in a suplex to put both guys down.

A double tag brings in Jeff and Billy as everything breaks down. Both champions take Poetry in Motion but Billy breaks up the Swanton attempt. Billy’s cobra clutch slam gets two on Jeff but Lita comes in with the Litarana to take him down. The Twist/Swanton combination takes Billy down but Chuck superkicks Jeff down for the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have enough time to go anywhere but the tag titles continue to mean nothing at all. They’re just kind of there at this point with no story at all. Billy and Chuck are the flavor of the month which is all we’ll see for the next several years. Nothing to see here.

Jericho and his new business partner Stephanie McMahon arrive. Jericho has a video for a production guy.

Austin has nothing to say.

Arn Anderson says he’ll hold the fort down until Flair gets here. Christian comes in and wants to quit because the fans are laughing at him. Diamond Dallas Page and his creepy smile pop in behind him and tells Christian that he doesn’t want to quit. See, all the negativity is holding Christian back. Page gets Christian to do the smile as well, saying it’s a start. As corny as this is, looking at what Page has accomplished with Jake Roberts and Scott Hall, I’d listen to what Page told me to do.

Austin does the WHAT bit and accepts the match with Hall.

We look at Angle putting Kane through a table and destroying his ankle with a chair from Smackdown.

Lance Storm vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Big Show

Intercontinental Champion William Regal is on commentary as the winner of this gets a title shot. The champion wants Lance to win here. Storm kicks Rob down to start and tries to dive on Big Show, only to be tossed back into the ring. Show slams both guys down for two but Rob gets in some kicks and Rolling Thunder for two on Storm. Big Show throws everyone around again so the normal sized guys try to double team him. A double suplex puts both guys down so Storm brings in a chair. Rob hits a top rope kick to drive it into Show’s face and the Five Star sends him to Wrestlemania in less than three minutes.

Booker T is learning Japanese for a shampoo commercial in one of the most infamous storylines of the era.

The APA gets an invitation to the Friendly Tap. The bar owned by referee Tim White.

Rikishi vs. Booker T

Booker pounds Rikishi down into the corner but walks into a powerslam for two. A spin kick puts Rikishi down again and Booker stomps away some more. Rikishi comes back with a bad looking Samoan drop but misses a charge into the corner. A Japanese spin kick misses and Rikishi superkicks him into the corner. Booker uses the referee as a shield and kicks Rikishi down for the pin. This was nothing.

Mark Henry won the Arnold Schwarzenegger strongman challenge over the weekend.

Here are Jericho and Stephanie to show us what’s on the tape. Jericho brags about how awesome he is in the ring and how awesome he is now that he has Stephanie’s genius to help him. The tape is a clip of Jericho injuring HHH’s quad last year and putting him out for eight months. Jericho claims that the injury ruined HHH’s marriage, but Stephanie says it was because HHH is very, ahem, small.

This brings out HHH with Stephanie making small jokes all the way to the ring. HHH implies Stephanie is very wide down there with the fans not seeming to get the joke. HHH remembers Jericho is champion and asks for a match tonight even if the titles aren’t on the line. This brings out Angle who apparently has Vince’s authority to give himself a title shot tonight. Angle leaves so HHH beats up Jericho.

Mr. Perfect thinks people are tired of hearing about Austin, which is why they’re fighting tonight.

Women’s Title: Jazz vs. Mighty Molly

Jazz is defending of course and jumps Molly on the floor to start. She even rips up Molly’s cape to really show how EVIL she is. Molly comes back with some Japanese armdrags, only to be caught in a world’s strongest slam for two. A splash gets another two so Jazz drapes Molly over the top rope for two more. Jazz hits a butterfly suplex and the double chicken wing, only to be rolled up for three straight near falls. Molly misses a high cross body and gets caught in the fisherman’s DDT for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but it wasn’t bad or anything. At the end of the day though, no one cares about either of these girls and the crowd reaction proved it. Trish and Lita were the only girls that people cared about for a long time and as cruel as this sounds, it’s because they’re better looking than Jazz. Molly was cute but she had the personality of a door.

Post match Jazz lays out Molly. Back from a break and Arn Anderson is checking on Molly when Undertaker comes out for the beating to set up Flair vs. Taker at Wrestlemania.

WWF World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Angle punches Jericho while he still has the belts on his shoulders. A hard clothesline gets two for Kurt and a German suplex gets the same. There’s the overhead belly to belly for two more as this is all Angle so far. Angle charges again but gets backdropped out to the floor. Jericho rips some of the padding off the barricade to drop Angle across the exposed steel.

Back inside and a reverse elbow off the top gets two followed by some elbow drops for the same. Jericho chops him down but Angle counters a Walls attempt into a small package for two. A hot shot puts Angle down but he runs the corner to suplex Jericho down for another near fall. JR points out the obvious flaw in the match: the fans don’t like either guy so there’s no one to cheer for.

Rolling Germans take the champion over but Jericho escapes the ankle lock into a Walls attempt but Angle rolls through that into the ankle lock. Jericho grabs a rope and puts on the Walls but Kurt makes the rope. Chris throws in a title belt and the ring bell before poking the referee in the eye. Somehow that’s not a DQ so Angle hits Jericho with a belt for two. The ankle lock is broken by a rope grab after only a few seconds and an enziguri sends Kurt to the floor. Cue Kane to throw Angle back into the ring so the Breakdown can end Angle.

Rating: C+. This was good for the most part as you would expect from these two but the ending was WAY overbooked for what they were going for. JR was absolutely right with the whole “fans don’t know who to cheer for” thing, which really dragged the match down. Still though, given how lame the wrestling has been in previous weeks, this was solid stuff.

Kane swings a chair at Angle but Kurt ducks and bails through the crowd.

During the break Flair arrived, over an hour and a half into the show. He heard about Arn and immediately left. Ok then.

Hogan goes into Rock’s locker room.

Back from a break and Hogan is talking to the Rock….who is made of cardboard. Hogan talks a lot of trash and says nothing of note at all. He punches the cardboard down after talking about how big of a legend he is.

The APA goes to the Friendly Tap and get jumped by Billy and Chuck. All of the other patrons were gay men/men in drag as part of some joke that wasn’t funny.

The NWO wishes Perfect good luck tonight.

Mr. Perfect vs. Steve Austin

Austin shoves him into the corner to start and we actually get a clean break. Perfect takes him into the opposite corner and gets flipped off for his efforts. A shoulder block puts Austin down and a headlock sends us to a stalemate. They chop it out in the corner and Austin whips him around the ring a few times, getting two off a clothesline. An elbow to the jaw puts Steve down but Austin shrugs it off, does his stomping and hits the Stunner for the clean pin.

Rating: D. This was there to set up whatever post match stuff we’ve got going on. Perfect was a good guy to bring back in but there was clearly nothing for him to do this time around. Nothing to see here as the crowd didn’t care as most of them probably don’t remember Perfect in the first place.

Post match Hall brings the wheelbarrow full of cinder blocks to the ring. The NWO comes out for the beatdown and one of the blocks is broken over Austin’s right knee. This would explain why Austin spent the next few weeks with his left knee heavily taped.

Overall Rating: D. Well that happened. That was my response to almost everything that happened on tonight’s show: that just happened and it didn’t make me want to see anything at Wrestlemania at all. Austin vs. Hall doesn’t do anything for me, Rock vs. Hogan exists but there’s no Rock to build the match and I don’t know of anyone who wants to see Stephanie vs. HHH. Nothing to see here as Wrestlemania 18 continues to look incredibly lame.

Here’s the March 4 Raw if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/01/09/monday-night-raw-march-4-2002-its-two-weeks-before-mania-right/

Here’s the March 11 Raw if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/09/23/monday-night-raw-march-11-2002-for-the-only-time-in-history-steve-austin-vs-hulk-hogan/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 18, 2002
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 13,967
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

No Way Out has passed and the main story is Hogan/Hall/Nash have returned to the company for the first time in years. Last night they kept Austin from winning the title, setting up their first feud in the company. Other than that there isn’t much to say, but we’re officially on the road to Wrestlemania, which is only four weeks long this year. Let’s get to it.

Here’s a very ticked off Austin to open the show. He has Jericho beaten last night but the NWO came in when Austin had Jericho right where he wanted him. Three pieces of trash came down to the ring (JR: “That’s the NWO.” Thanks Jimmy.) and now Austin wants them all here right now. The NWO comes to the stage and Austin says he has a Stunner for all of them. They huddle up but Austin says there’s nothing to think about. The NWO comes to the ring but turns around and walks away. Austin says he’s going to stand in this ring and drink beer all night until he gets a piece of the NWO.

We take a break six minutes into the show and come back with Austin threatening to go on strike until the NWO comes out here for a fight. Instead he gets Kurt Angle with a legion of security. Angle has something to say so Austin launches beer cans at him. Kurt says it’s his time now and if there’s one thing he can’t stand it’s a crybaby. Austin is sitting in a chair on the far side of the ring and is hitting Kurt who is only a few feet down the ramp. That’s one heck of an arm.

The security (off duty cops according to Angle) and Angle come to the ring because Angle has an announcement to make. Austin keeps throwing beers and isn’t interested in getting out of the ring at all. Angle finally gets in the ring and says he’ll make his announcement with Austin there: HE’S GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA! Austin is tired of listening and takes Kurt down, drawing in the security for right hands, meaning Austin is being arrested.

Post break Austin is taken into the police car where Angle and the NWO taunt him.

Hardy Boys vs. Lance Storm/Christian

Lance starts with Matt and neither guy can hit a hiptoss. Matt takes him down with a clothesline and it’s off to Jeff for the fangirl pop. A dropkick puts Christian on the floor and Jeff hits the legdrop between Lance’s legs. Jeff goes up top but gets crotched down by Christian who comes in to take over. Jeff makes a quick comeback but misses a dropkick, keeping Christian in control.

Back to Storm who gets kicked in the chest, allowing for the hot tag off to Matt. House is cleaned but everything breaks down. Jeff misses a dive to the floor and Christian gets two off the reverse DDT to Matt. Christian has a tantrum and Lita hits the Litacanrana to Storm on the floor. The Unprettier (Killswitch) is countered into the Twist of Fate and Jeff’s Swanton gets the pin.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t anything to this one and the announcers ignoring the match to talk about how horrible the arrest was didn’t help things. The Hardys’ time was over by this point due to them not having anyone of note to feud with. The Dudleys weren’t going to do anything else of note at the moment so the tag division was clearly on the decline.

Kurt Angle comes in to see Stephanie so she can congratulate him for his accomplishments in the last 24 hours. Flair comes in and makes a rematch of HHH vs. Angle for the Mania title shot with Stephanie barred from ringside. Thanks for paying for the PPV people!

Undertaker asks a stagehand where Flair’s office is. “Uh…Ric Flair?” “THE CO-OWNER OF THE COMPANY! YOUR BOSS! WHERE IS HIS OFFICE!” “Down the hall to the left.” “WAS THAT SO HARD???” That was hilarious for some reason. Taker goes into Flair’s office and wants a match with Naitch at Wrestlemania. Flair says no because he’s an owner now.

The NWO is leaving to go get dinner but Hogan says he has something personal to take care of and to send the car back for him in about half an hour.

Mr. Perfect vs. Kane

Before the match, Perfect calls out Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher for failing in the playoffs. Mr. Perfect NEVER loses you see. Kane knocks him to the floor with ease as the arena is full of smoke from Kane’s entrance. Back in and Kane easily fights out of the PerfectPlex and the chokeslam is good for the fast pin. Basically a squash.

Here’s Hogan with something to say. He talks about how great it is to be back in a WWF ring because the WWF made him a legend. Hogan and the fans have fought everyone from Russians to monsters to Andre the Giant and they did it all together. Then in 1993, the fans stopped caring about him and drove him out of the WWF, just like the Chicago fans did to Michael Jordan. For doing that, all of the fans can stick it. Hogan goes into a rant about how he made wrestling what it is today and says no one is a bigger icon than he is.

Cue the Rock and it’s time to set up Wrestlemania. They circle each other and Rock takes off the glasses. He does the FINALLY bit and now we get down to business. Rock talks about how amazing it is to see these two in the ring together before saying he agrees with Hogan on a few things. It wasn’t the fans that drove him out of the WWF if that’s what Hogan thinks. Hogan goes to respond but Rock hits him with IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK.

Rock says the people believed in Hogan and the Rock was one of them. After years of eating the vitamins and tearing the t-shirt, Hogan changed everything in WCW and the fans wanted nothing to do with him. Rock acknowledges that Hogan is a legend and an icon, perhaps even the best ever.

Hogan has talked about headlining Wrestlemania after Wrestlemania after Wrestlemania, so how does he feel about headlining one more Wrestlemania with the Rock. The fans REALLY like that idea but they’re not sure who to cheer for. Hogan calls Rock the flavor of the month and asks Rock why he thinks he’s even in Hogan’s league. Rock calmly asks yes or no and appeals to Hogan’s desire to be the definitive best ever. After an appeal to the people and doing Hogan’s hand to the ear, Hogan finally says yes. Eleven and a half years later this still gives me chills.

Since it’s so great though, let’s screw it all up. Hogan wishes Rock luck but Rock says Hogan needs it more BROTHER, before pulling him into a Rock Bottom. Rock goes to leave but Hall and Nash knock him down the aisle and the beatdown is on. Hogan whips Rock with the weightlifting belt and Hall and Nash hit their finishers. Hogan goes under the ring and pulls out a hammer to blast Rock in the back of the head, laying him out cold. It should have probably killed him but it’s wrestling after all. Hogan drops a leg and Hall counts three to really set up Wrestlemania. We even get the spray paint to really hammer things in.

What an awesome segment. It had a great moment with the past and the present dynamic followed by Hogan REALLY nailing the idea of being a heel to stop his face reactions. The hammer stuff was great and Rock can return at Wrestlemania to get his revenge in the awesome moment to make the match even bigger.

Now if you’re a fan of the WWF, you know they’re not going to simply let an awesome moment like that exist on its own.

Rock is taken out on a stretcher and we go to a break. Back with Rock being loaded into an ambulance (with his arms not even secured) and is about to be taken away….when the NWO attacks the ambulance. They beat on it with chains as Hogan is yelling about Plan A. They chain the door shut (even though Rock is out cold) and Hogan says he’s going to lay the Smackdown on Rock.

He proceeds to get into a SEMI-TRUCK and RAMS IT INTO THE AMBULANCE. And there goes the moment. We went from an amazing staredown to this over the top nonsense because wrestling isn’t enough anymore. The NWO looks into the ambulance and panic before running away. JR and Lawler go into serious mode and talk about how real this is. You know, because this kind of stuff happens every day.

Godfather vs. Booker T

You know, because going from Rock nearly being murdered to Godfather is a fine transition. The girls are worried about Rock and Godfather is annoyed with them as a result. Booker stomps him down in the corner as the announcers are still acting all serious. Godfather makes a quick comeback with his usual stuff but the girls are still distracting him. A powerslam puts Booker down but Godfather yells at the girls instead of going for the Ho Train. Booker superkicks him down for the pin.

Paramedics and cops check on Rock.

Goldust/William Regal vs. Edge/Rob Van Dam

Brawl to start of course with the expected pairings going at it until we get Goldust vs. RVD to start. Goldie pounds him down for a bit before Regal comes in and gets caught by a cross body. Back to Goldust to pound on Rob a bit more as Jerry talks about a second ambulance arriving. Rob finally gets in a kick and everything breaks down. Edge spears Regal down and puts on the Edgecator (Sharpshooter but Edge doesn’t step over) for the tap out.

Rating: D. Nothing match here with the announcers again ignoring everything going on for the sake of the Rock stuff. I’d be ok with that if it was something serious, but the truck stuff was so over the top and stupid that there was no way to take it seriously at all. These feuds are going nowhere anyway.

Rock is taken away. Not that we saw him in the last two segments or anything.

Angle is distracted but by Flair’s decision instead of Rock. Cole brings up Rock and Angle feels bad about that too, but Rock didn’t have a Wrestlemania title shot to lose.

Kurt Angle vs. HHH

The winner gets the shot at Wrestlemania, Stephanie is banned from ringside and Jericho is on commentary. Jericho makes fun of the WHAT bit as soon as he sits down in a funny bit. HHH punches him fro the apron but Angle quickly takes the fight to the floor. HHH is sent into the steps and we head inside again with Kurt in control. Angle stops a comeback with a knee to the ribs and gets two off a suplex. Jericho lists off great names like Thesz and Gotch but thinks he’s just a bit better.

Angle stomps away in the corner for two more and puts on an abdominal stretch to the injured ribs. HHH reverses into one of his own, only to be hiptossed down. Another belly to belly gets another two on HHH and there’s a third since the first two went so well. They head outside again with HHH avoiding a charge into the post to hurt Angle’s shoulder. Back in and a neckbreaker puts Kurt down before HHH DDTs him for two. The spinebuster gets two more but Angle counters the Pedigree into a catapult into the corner.

Kurt can’t follow up immediately but he catches HHH in another suplex. The moonsault is countered into a bottom rope electric chair for a very close two. HHH heads to the floor for no apparent reason, only to be caught in another belly to belly onto the mats. A belt shot to HHH’s head puts him down again as Jericho has the referee. It’s only good for two so Angle rolls some Germans and puts on the ankle lock. HHH dives to the ropes and Angle is all ticked off. A Pedigree attempt is countered into the ankle lock again but HHH rolls through and hits the Pedigree to go to Wrestlemania again.

Rating: B. At least the match was good. I don’t think anyone believed there was any chance Angle would win here but at least we got an entertaining twelve minute match to make up for it. The lack of selling the ribs was a bit stupid but at least it wasn’t the focus of the match for the most part.

Overall Rating: C-. Well the showdown and the main event were good but they’re not really enough to save the rest of this show. Wrestlemania is looking like it could be good but the matches aren’t going to be much to see. There’s nothing wrong with going for the hype instead of the substance, but stuff like Rock vs. Hogan does not need the over the top nonsense and it’s dragging things down a good bit. The BIG divide between the main event level and the midcard stuff isn’t helping either.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 11, 2002
Location: Jonesboro Convocation Center, Jonesboro, Arkansas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is going to be one of those one idea shows, as tonight is all about Stephanie and HHH renewing their wedding vows. These would be the vows originally made by HHH, speaking in a falsetto voice since Stephanie was unconscious in the front seat of his car. Other than that, it’s the go home show for No Way Out, but we need to focus on HHH and Stephanie instead of waiting for next week, after the PPV. Let’s get to it.

We open with a package hyping up the wedding vows tonight.

Theme song.

Here’s Undertaker with something to say to open us up. Taker respects the face pop he gets but calls the fans a bunch of hillbillies. He rants about not being respected by Rock on Thursday and we get a clip of Rock laying Undertaker out, giving Maven the pin and the Hardcore Title. Taker responded by tombstoning Rock onto a limo. He threatens to beat Rock until Rock respects him. That’s not quite as good as “the beatings will continue until morale improves.” This brings out Flair to talk about respect a lot and make Undertaker vs. Austin for later tonight.

Chris Jericho vs. Edge

Non-title of course. Edge jumps Jericho during his entrance and beats him around ringside until we get a bell. Back in and Jericho pounds away at the head instead of Edge’s heavily taped ribs. First the arm last week and now the ribs? Come on Jericho. A clothesline gets two for Edge but Jericho comes back with an elbow to the face and another to the ribs, restoring my faith in the Ayatollah.

Jericho stays on the ribs but misses a charge into the post, giving Edge an opening. A catapult into the corner gets two for Edge but Jericho comes right back with a bulldog, only to miss the Lionsault. Edge misses the spear but counters the Walls attempt into a rollup for two. Jericho drapes him over the top rope but goes to get a title, allowing Edge to spear him down for two. Not that it matters as Jericho hits him him in the ribs with the belt and the Breakdown (Skull Crushing Finale) is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. Edge wasn’t at the main event level yet but his time was coming. This kind of basic psychology is all a match needs most of the time and it’s annoying when it’s just not there. This is the kind of stuff we could use more of today: world champions or main event level talent beating midcarders instead of other main eventers. You can save the main event matches for actual, you know, MAIN EVENTS.

Vince says he’s here in Arkansas because he’s fond of hogs. He’s here for the last show before the NWO arrives and takes over. He won’t answer if he’s going to walk Stephanie down the aisle.

We get another clip of the NWO. I guess this is a theme tonight. Remember that this is a mere THREE MONTHS after the Invasion ended. Again, that thing could have gone on for years by bringing in big names every now and then to give the Alliance a boost.

HHH and Stephanie run into each other in the back with Stephanie begging him to not go after Kurt. The baby is fine after Stephanie was run over (by a person) on Smackdown. HHH says he won’t go after Kurt but he has to take care of something first.

Goldust vs. Rikishi

Goldust tries to jump Rikishi but gets punched away. It turns into a slugout with Goldust punching him down, only to get caught in a Samoan drop. The Banzai Drop is countered with two legs to the groin, but RVD comes in for the DQ a few seconds later. Seriously, Goldust vs. Van Dam? That’s kind of a waste.

HHH runs into Arn Anderson and Arn just happens to have a FedEx package for him. It sounds like a video tape when HHH shakes it.

Austin says he was scared when he got here because it’s a dry county (meaning alcohol can’t be sold). This is at the height of the WHAT bit so Austin lists off all of the health problems he had because of the lack of alcohol before listing off all of them alcohol he and Debra bought in another county before coming here. He and the Arkansas hillbillies are going to disrespect Undertaker all night long. He’ll take the Undisputed Title on Sunday too. Somehow this takes about five minutes to get through.

The wedding singers practice for later.

Godfather vs. Kurt Angle

This is during the failed Godfather Goes Legit period where he owned an escort service instead of being a pimp. Angle pounds him down but gets caught by a knee/boot to the chest/shoulder area. Kurt is like screw that and drills him in the leg before ending this in less than a minute with the ankle lock.

Post match Angle puts the hold on again before making a vow of his own: he’ll make HHH tap on Sunday.

HHH gives Stephanie a new ring. Much crying ensues.

Steve Austin vs. Undertaker

Jericho jumps Austin during the entrance and Undertaker takes advantage with some Deadman choking. They head inside for the opening bell and Austin comes back with some right hands and the Thesz Press for more right hands. They run the ropes a bit before Undertaker takes Austin down with the jumping clothesline. Back to the floor and Taker is whipped knees first into the steps, only to come back with a clothesline to send Austin onto the concrete. That goes nowhere so we head back inside with Taker getting a near fall. Austin escapes the tombstone and hits the Stunner but here’s Jericho for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Remember when these guys main evented the biggest Summerslam ever a few years ago? Apparently WWE doesn’t either as we’ve got them in a five minute throwaway match to close out the first hour of Raw. Nothing to see here as these two are clearly in need of ANYTHING new.

Post match Jericho hits Austin with a belt and a cooler.

Jericho bailed during the break.

Tazz vs. Booker T.

Tag champion vs. challenger for Sunday. Simple idea for a simple PPV match. Booker pounds Tazz down into the corner but Tazz comes back with some clothesline. A side kick puts Tazz right back down and there’s the Spinarooni to annoy JR. Tazz comes back with the Tazmission, only to have Spike and Test come in for a distraction so Booker can kick him low. The referee gets rid of Spike so Test can kick Tazz’s head off, giving Booker the pin. Nothing to see here at all.

The Dudleyz are at WWF New York. Bubba is in his old trance for some reason before demanding a title match at the PPV. Not that they would get one but at least they’re acting like the titles mean something.

Stacy Keibler vs. Torrie Wilson

They’re in bikinis so this isn’t going to last long. This is as a result of Torrie having her hand raised after she and Stacy won a posedown against Billy and Chuck. It’s exactly what you would expect: Jerry makes erection jokes, the girls do stuff that puts them in various, ahem, positions, the referee is rolled over, Stacy wins with a bad looking rollup. This was what it was.

Stephanie leaves to get dressed but laments that her dad isn’t walking her down the aisle. HHH looks at the package he was given earlier.

Mr. Perfect cheats to beat a national chess champion. These bits never get old.

Rob Van Dam vs. Christian

Christian, currently in a slump, runs in behind RVD to get an early advantage. Rob misses a charge into the post and gets draped over the top rope. Christian knocks him onto the floor and stomps away a lot before ripping at Van Dam’s face in the ring. Rob gets back up and hits a moonsault press out of the corner for two, only to have Christian pound him right back to the mat. A powerslam gets two for Christian and it’s off to a chinlock. Make that three different chinlocks, none of which have the fans responding at all.

Back up and Rob hits a spin kick to put Christian down, followed by a monkey flip out of the corner. A Regal Roll into a middle rope moonsault (barely connected at all) gets two for Rob but Rolling Thunder hits knees. The reverse DDT gets two for Christian and it’s time for him to throw a tantrum. He writhes around on the mat, allowing Rob to come in off the top with the Five Star for the pin in a funny ending.

Rating: C-. The ending was good but there wasn’t much leading up to it. Christian was nowhere near being a big deal on his own yet as he would have to wait years before he became anything of note. Van Dam would be the same kind of guy for almost his entire WWE run, which isn’t bad when you think about it.

Goldust pops up on screen to challenge RVD for No Way Out.

Arn Anderson tells HHH to call Linda.

HHH calls Linda (naturally we can hear everything she says) who tells him that she sent him the FedEx package. It is indeed a video tape which someone sent to her and she immediately sent it to HHH. HHH plays the tape and it’s a doctor that told HHH and Stephanie that their baby was fine as an actor in a commercial. Dun dun DUNN! Stephanie isn’t pregnant, which would have been a bigger revelation had this story not started last week.

Stephanie keeps up the lie to the wedding singers. Vince pops up behind her in a tux and cuts a promo on her before agreeing to walk her down the aisle. Howard Finkel pops in to try to tell Vince what HHH found out but Vince tells him to leave.

Time for the vows and Vince is already annoyed at the WHAT chants. Now we get a wedding song because this segment isn’t already going to go on forever. We know where it’s going because we already saw the payoff. Why not have HHH reveal it during the ceremony to actually surprise the crowd? I’m running out of things to talk about to pass the time during this WAY too long song. Seriously they sing for FOUR MINUTES.

It’s finally time for the vows. Stephanie does a traditional series of them and now it’s time for HHH to end the whole thing. It’s exactly what you would expect: he loves her, she’s the mother of his child, she’s a no good lying witch. HHH erupts on her for only thinking of herself and trying to manipulate him into doing whatever she wants. The marriage is over and there’s a Pedigree for Vince and Stephanie’s EVIL face to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Here’s the major problem at the end of the day: how does this wedding, which DOMINATED the show, make me want to buy No Way Out at all? The NWO, the world title match, and Undertaker vs. Rock (not even on the show tonight) all came off as afterthoughts compared to an angle that started and ended in a single week. There was zero reason this couldn’t have happened next week instead as we set up HHH vs. Stephanie at Wrestlemania.

Here’s No Way Out if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/18/no-way-out-2002-if-an-invasion-happens-and-no-one-cares-does-it-matter/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at: