TNA Weekly PPV #14
Date: September 25, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

So after last week’s near disaster we’re back to Tennessee for more of TNA’s early nonsense. This week our main event is Jarrett vs. BG James to keep up the feud that no one is really interested in but it’s Jarrett’s company so there’s not much else you can do. Other than that we’ve got Lynn vs. Killings again, although this time for the X Title. Let’s get to it.

We open in the back with Siaki and Lynn brawling due to Sonny costing Lynn the world title last week.

Tenay and West run down the card.

Sonny Siaki vs. Jerry Lynn

Siaki is a more generic heel now and isn’t dressed like Elvis anymore. Red takes him out before Siaki can eve get to the ring with a senton followed by a shooting star off the apron. They head inside where Siaki comes back with a flapjack and neckbreaker for two, only to have Red snap off a pair of kicks. The Amazing one shrugs off some shoulders in the corner to hit a reverse tornado DDT for two more.

Red charges into a backdrop to send him to the floor though, allowing Siaki to drop him onto various metal things. Somewhat geeky manager Mortimer Plumtree is watching from the ramp. Back in and Siaki gets a few near falls off a belly to belly suplex before putting on a quick bearhug. Red fights out and seems to leave a leapfrog a bit short. Oh wait he landed on Siaki’s back on purpose to turn it into a sunset bomb for two. Red hits a kind of STO off the middle rope but misses some kind of a dive off the top, allowing Siaki to hit a kind of neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: C+. Good opener here with power vs. speed which almost never fails. Red was a flip machine which is fine, as Siaki played the heel role well at this point. I don’t remember Red being around much before this so seeing him was a nice surprise for the fans. He would be a big cult favorite for a long time.

Post match Jorge Estrada pops up on the stage and says before tonight is over, he’s getting Siaki’s Elvis gear. I’ve heard of worse reasons for a feud.

In the back, Ron Killings is beating up Amazing Red, shouting that he’s getting rid of the X-Division because it devalues the world title.

We recap America’s Most Wanted (Harris and Storm) winning the tag belts last week.

Tag Titles: James Storm/Chris Harris vs. Brian Lee/Ron Harris

This is a tables match and Harris/Storm aren’t known as AMW yet. For the sake of simplicity, only Ron Harris will be referred to as Harris here. The challengers jump them to start and only one person has to go through the table for the win. It’s Lee pounding on Chris to start but Chris comes back with a backdrop and clothesline to put both guys on the floor. Chris dives on Lee but gets caught, only to have Storm dive as well to take everyone down.

Another brawl breaks out as the tables haven’t been a factor yet. Harris pounds Chris down before it’s back to Lee for more slow pounding. Harris slides in a table and sets it up in the corner but Storm makes the save. After Storm is sent out, Harris powerslams Chris down instead of sending him through a table because Harris isn’t that bright. He does the same thing with a suplex and it’s off to Lee for some of the worst elbow drops you’ll ever see. He basically pulls his elbow up before hitting Chris’ chest.

Lee misses a top rope knee drop and Chris makes the tag off to Storm. Everything breaks down and Harris is knocked to the floor. Lee is sent to the apron but manages to clothesline both champions down. AMW fights up and knocks Lee off the apron through a table which I don’t remember being set up to retain.

Rating: D-. Not only did the match suck, but did we really need a gimmick to protect RON FREAKING HARRIS and Brian Lee? TNA is trying to push AMW as a big deal but they can’t even get a clean pin over these two lunkheads? Last week there was the mess with the ropes and now they have to have a tables match? Is Ron Harris’ spot THAT important? The match sucked too as the tables were barely a factor.

Post match Harris beats up the champions and puts Storm through a table. Security comes out to break it up until Don Harris, Ron’s twin brother, comes out for a staredown. The champions are a complete afterthought here, and we get the last thing we need here: ANOTHER guy named Harris.

In the parking lot, Bruce gets into a fight with a handicapped woman named Sara the Ticket Lady. Can we please end this character already?

Here’s Ron Killings to complain about how bad of a town “Trashville” is. Truth complains about rats and says the fans wouldn’t like them in their bed. That’s either a stupid line or a REALLY clever insider lingo joke but we’ll go with the former. He’s also not happy with the prejudice going on around here because he hasn’t seen Ricky Steamboat since he won the title. Truth doesn’t like not having merchandise or a private dressing room and as he’s starting to complain about the X-Division, here’s BG James.

James talks about a posse in his pants and their time back in the WWF where James stood up for Truth with the boys in the back. They go back and forth with stupid lines and the brawl is on with BG taking over. BG says that just unlike Demi Moore and Tom Cruise, he can handle the Truth. Next.

Brian Lawler and his girlfriend April argue about nothing in particular. At least I think they do as you can hear JB hyping up the card to the live crowd in the background. I mean he’s drowning out the interview.

AJ Styles vs. Low Ki

This is 2/3 falls and the winner gets a shot at the X Title. Feeling out process to start as AJ cranks on the arm before they head to the mat for a headlock by Styles. Back up and Low Ki escapes the wristlock and chops away, only to be taken down by an atomic drop. Low Ki sends him to the floor and hits a running flip attack off the apron to take over again. Back in and a hard kick to AJ’s back gets two and it’s back to the chops to the neck.

AJ crotches him on the top rope and hits a backbreaker/gutbuster combo to take over again. A nice dropkick in the corner gets two for Styles but Low Ki comes back with some chops. Off to a chinlock with AJ’s knee in Low Ki’s back for a few seconds before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Back up again and Low Ki hits what we would call the Disaster Kick for two before putting on the seated Dragon Sleeper for the submission and the first fall.

The second fall begins with Low Ki being sent throat first into the middle rope and clotheslined down for two. A delayed suplex puts Ki down and AJ pounds away. Styles hits a standing enziguri to put Low on the floor, but as he heads out, Low Ki kicks Styles in the head. AJ slams him down onto the ramp to break another Dragon Sleeper before we head back inside. A sunset bomb is countered by Low Ki but AJ keeps rolling into a sunset flip for the pin and the second fall.

AJ poses so Low Ki kicks him square in the jaw to send him to the floor. Once they’re both on the floor, AJ takes out Low’s knee before firing off kicks to the knee back inside. They both go up to the middle rope and after the Styles Clash is broken up, AJ comes off with a shin breaker to Low Ki. Off to a modified spinning toe hold but Low Ki rolls through it for two. Low Ki rolls through a powerbomb into a rana for two but can’t hook the Dragon Sleeper again. After a somewhat botched rollup attempt, AJ hits the Clash for the pin and the title shot next week.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but the lack of selling got annoying after awhile. I’m still not a fan of Low Ki at all as the kicking drives me crazy, but at least he threw in some ranas here to keep things fresher. AJ getting back into the X Title picture was a solid idea as he and Lynn had the best matches in the company so far. Not bad at all here.

Jarrett says he’ll eliminate Hall, Waltman and BG to get the title that he wants.

Elix Skipper/Brian Lawler vs. Scott Hall/Syxx-Pac

Skipper slips while trying to moonsault into the ring. Lawler makes sure to cover up his girlfriend’s body during the entrance. Pac and Skipper start things off with Elix getting a crotch chop for his efforts. Hall gives Elix one of the same, sending Skipper into such a rage that he misses a spin kick. A second attempt connects with Pac’s jaw and it’s off to Hall vs. Lawler. Hall throws the toothpick at Lawler, sending him out to the floor in a fit. Back in, more stalling, more yelling at the girlfriend.

Off to Skipper again before Lawler has any contact at all. At least he earned his paycheck tonight. Anyway Elix gets pounded down and chokeslammed for two before bailing to the floor. Some double teaming by the heels allows them to crotch Hall on the post and it’s off to Lawler for some biting and punching. A suplex puts Hall down and it’s off to Skipper for a top rope ax handle.

Hall puts Skipper down with a belly to back suplex but let’s look at Lawler yelling at Don West for talking to April. Off to Syxx who cleans house. An X-Factor gets two on Skipper with Lawler making the save. Everything breaks down and Pac misses the Bronco Buster on Skipper. Lawler and Hall fight as Elix goes up top, only to dive into the X-Factor for the pin.

Rating: D. These matches with the big stars are getting to be insufferable. They’re sloppy, by the book and really dull all the way throughout. I have no idea why Elix Skipper was involved in the match here but at least he was someone young and different from the regular “stars”. Nothing to see here at all.

Post match Jarrett runs out to beat down Hall and Pac.

AJ implies that he wants a ladder match for the title.

Bruce comes out and calls himself the only woman in TNA. Sara the Ticket Lady comes out and yells and that’s about it.

Kid Kash vs. Jorge Estrada

Feeling out process to start with Estrada taking over with an armdrag. Mortimer Plumtree is watching again as Jorge headscissors Kash down and clotheslines him to the floor. Jorge leaves a suicide dive WAY short and lands on his head in a SICK crash. Back in and Kash takes over with a double springboard backsplash for two back inside. Estrada thankfully doesn’t have a broken neck and comes back with a hiptoss and a standing shooting star for two.

Jorge goes up but Kash shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch him down. A top rope rana brings Estrada down but Kash charges into an elbow in the corner. Kash pokes him in the eye and hits a DDT for two, only to have his rana countered into a powerbomb for two for Jorge. Estrada busts out the TCB (Taking Care of Business), a big flippy dive for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a battle of the flips here which is about what you would expect from a show like this. Estrada isn’t bad and Kash is Kash so the match was entertaining but the lack of selling continues. This is another match which was here to give us the post match stuff because we need our Elvis developments.

Estrada demands his suit back and we see Siaki burning it in a barrel.

We recap Siaki costing Lynn the world title last week.

X-Division Title: Ron Killings vs. Jerry Lynn

This is a lumberjack match and all of the lumberjacks are X-Division guys. Killings tries to bail to the floor early but Low Ki sends him back inside. Back in and Lynn pounds away with a bunch of right hands before bulldogging Truth down for two. Truth bails to the floor again for the same result, only this time he manages a top rope shoulder to take over. Now it’s Jerry getting thrown to the floor for a stomping by Kash. AJ, the only X guy not at ringside, is on the stage with a ladder.

Back in and the challenger gets two off a backbreaker and the same from a powerslam. That works so well that Truth hits another one before putting on a front facelock with his feet on the ropes. Lynn comes back with a reverse DDT and a powerbomb for two more but Truth stops him cold with a low blow. Low Ki is annoyed and yells at Killings, so Jerry rams them together and hits a TKO to retain the title.

Rating: C-. So let me make sure I’ve got this straight. Truth is feuding with the X-Division, so his first match in the feud is against the champion. He loses there, so now he goes down the division to fight lower level talent, all while being the World Champion? Does this sound as stupid to anyone else but me? The match wasn’t great but it was better than last week’s mess.

West hypes up the show for next week.

BG James vs. Jeff Jarrett

Main event time. BG says he’s Jeff’s second mountain and he can’t be negotiated. BG shoulders him down to start and pounds away with right hands. The shaky knee gets two but Jeff comes back with an enziguri to take over. Roadie fires off the juke and jive as we hear about them being together in the WWF back in 95. Out to the floor for some chair shots from James to knock Jeff into the crowd.

Jarrett gets in some chair shots of his own to take over and we go back to ringside. Jeff slams him into the announce table and pounds on the back and face with the chair some more. Back inside we go for the running crotch again in 619 position and a sleeper by Jeff. James fights up after two arm drops and puts on a sleeper of his own, only to be suplexed down by Jarrett.

Both guys are down now which is likely a good thing given the ample gut that Road Dogg has on him at the moment. Back up and James takes over with right hands but the referee takes a shot to the head. Jeff wedges a chair between the ropes but goes face first into it instead, giving James two. Elix Skipper and Brian Lawler come out to help Jarrett but Jeff nails Lawler by mistake, giving BG two more. The referee gets rid of the cronies so Jeff can hit James with a chair for a near fall. BG hits the anal rape pumphandle for two, only to have Skipper and Lawler run in for a DQ.

Rating: D. Could this have been any more overbooked? At the end of the day this BG James/Jarrett/Lawler stuff is completely uninteresting and I’m still not sure why they’re even fighting. The match was your standard Attitude Era brawl and the match was nothing of note. The X Title match really should have gone on last here.

Post match Hall and Syxx-Pac come out for the big brawl but Truth evens the odds and Jarrett and company stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. These shows are all suffering from the same problems: the overbooking of the main event and the lack of anyone caring about people like Lawler and BG James. Now I will give them this: they’re logically setting up feuds and stories with what looks like a six man tag set up for next week. The X Title stuff is WAY better than anything else but it’s not enough to get you through a two hour show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

TNA Weekly PPV #13
Date: September 18, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

Yes indeed I’m still doing these shows even though I haven’t done one since about Thanksgiving. I have no idea what’s going on at this point in TNA given how long it’s been, but apparently there’s a Gauntlet for the Gold (gauntlet match) for a shot at the tag titles and Ron Killings is defending the title against Jerry Lynn. Let’s get to it.

We open with Goldilocks explaining the rules for Gauntlet for the gold. Basically you have ten teams and two individual wrestlers start. Every minute another wrestler comes out and it’s over the top rope until we get down to two. Then their partners come out and it’s a tag match with the winners getting the belts. I’ve heard of worse ideas. Anyway Scott Hall pops up and says he has a surprise partner. It’s Sean Waltman who pops up for a second. Nice job on the surprise there people.

The announcers run down the card, including a celebrity boxing match. Oh jeez.

Earlier today Brian Lawler tries to jump Jeff Jarrett but Jeff fends him off with some luggage. Jarrett says that he never touched Lawler’s girlfriend April. Apparently April is playing Brian and Lawler can only trust Jeff. Ok then.

Cue Jarrett to the arena where he says he’s had it with Bob Armstrong and his masked man. Either Armstrong comes out now or Jeff is coming back there to get him. Jarrett goes to the back but is jumped by the Masked Bullet. They fight to the ring and Bullet does every single Road Dogg move there is and even says Oh You Didn’t Know into a mic. With Jeff down, Bullet pulls off his mask and it’s…..Road Dogg (called Brian James). Well that’s a bit anti-climactic.

Dogg says that he and Jarrett bailed on the WWF back in 1995 but then Dogg became part of DX. Apparently his name here is BG James with the G standing for “Get It, Got It, Good”. James is going to be in the Gauntlet for the Gold tonight and will find a partner somewhere. I guess Lawler vs. Jarrett is done now.

Jorge Estrada and Sonny Siaki say that it’s all about the Flying Elvises and not Sonny himself. Sonny talks about how we should support Jerry Lynn in the main event tonight, implying that he’s going to interfere.

AJ Styles vs. Kid Kash

Before the match AJ says that Sonny won’t be supporting Jerry Lynn tonight and it’s not over between himself and Jerry. AJ sounds even more like a hick here than he does now. Feeling out process to start with Styles taking over with an armbar. They head to the mat with AJ holding an armbar before Kash escapes a backslide. Both guys snap off some armdrags as we’re told that Low Ki returns next week. A Jericho springboard dropkick puts AJ on the floor and a slingshot rana keeps him down.

AJ gets back up and runs to the apron for a moonsault to take Kash down. Very fast paced stuff so far here. Back in and Styles takes Kash down with a sweet springboard dropkick for two. Kid hits the Bank Roll (kind of a Whisper in the Wind) for two and it’s off to a standing Boston Crab on Styles. That goes nowhere so Kash tries the Money Maker but gets backdropped out to the floor instead. AJ hits a sweet jumping DDT off the apron and both guys are down.

Back in and Kash sends AJ face first into the middle buckle before getting two off a German suplex. AJ comes back with his moonsault into (not really but close enough) the reverse DDT for two. Kash runs up the corner and hits a SWEET rana followed by a tornado DDT for two. AJ comes back with a dropkick to the knee and the always cool nipup into a rana of his own.

Discus lariat gets two on Kash as does a dropkick to the back of his head. AJ loads up another springboard dive but jumps into a dropkick to put both guys down. Kash tries a top rope splash but only his canvas. He manages to crotch AJ, but a top rope rana is countered into a Styles Clash off the middle rope for the academic pin.

Rating: B-. This was just a spotfest and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not a good match as there have been far better versions of this before, but AJ looked good and that was the right idea here. AJ was rapidly gaining credibility and a win over a decent name like Kash was only going to help that.

Buff Bagwell says that he’s Marcus Bagwell again and wants another chance. BG James pops up and asks him to be his partner in the Gauntlet. Marcus accepts, and I think we’re supposed to buy this as the latest super team. You know, because Bagwell won like five WCW tag titles. Surely you remember his EPIC partnership with The Patriot right?

Here’s Dustin Diamond (Screech from Saved By the Bell) who says that after winning on Celebrity Boxing, he could come here to be a wrestler. This leads to an argument with Tiny the ring announcer and a boxing match is scheduled for later. Please make it short at least.

The Hotshots (Chase Stevens and Cassidy O’Reilly) say they’ve given up their spot in the Gauntlet because they want to earn it in a three way match. They leave and Disco Inferno pops up, looking for Brian Lawler.

Dustin Diamond vs. Tiny the Timekeeper

Boxing match, Tiny is a short fat guy, Dustin knocks him out in 35 seconds. Seriously, that’s it.

Hot Shots vs. Derek Wylde/Jimmy Rave vs. Ace Steele/CM Punk

Indeed, CM Punk was in TNA for a half a cup of coffee. The team who takes the fall here is out of the Gauntlet. Punk has blonde hair here which is a weird look for him. Stevens and Punk get things going and we get a gymnastics exhibition with both guys spinning around with little contact being made. Punk hits a kind of reverse powerbomb onto Steele’s knee with Ace coming in legally. Steele chops away on Chase (Stevens, along with his partner Cassidy O’Reilly) but a blind tag brings in Wylde. He tries to slingshot in, only to be powerbombed down by Chase as things speed up.

Off to Rave vs. O’Reilly with Jimmy getting caught by a slingshot splash. Cassidy likes to dance around a lot and shout at the fans. The Hot Shots hit stereo dropkicks to Rave’s head for two and a leg lariat from Chase puts Rave down. Back to Cassidy who slams Rave down but hits knees while trying a Lionsault. Jimmy tags in Punk who misses a springboard missile dropkick on Chase before having his head taken off by Cassidy.

Everything breaks down and the Hot Shots hit a nice superkick/German suplex combo on Wylde. Cassidy misses a twisting dive to the floor and it’s time to unleash the dives. Back in the ring, Steele puts Stevens in a Gory Special and drops down into a kind of Widow’s Peak to win the match and spot in the Gauntlet.

Rating: D-. Well that sucked. I know it’s blasphemy to say a Punk match sucked, but there’s no other way to put it. This was boring, sloppy and uneventful as none of the six guys were anything special in the slightest. I know Punk would get WAY better, but at this point he was nothing to see at all.

Harris and Storm are ready for the Gauntlet and Harris finally calls Storm buckaroo.

Here are Hall and Waltman with something to say. Hall reminisces about his time with the 1-2-3 Kid and the match they had on Raw in 1993. Waltman (Syxx-Pac here) says that he’s here to be a wrestler, not a sports entetainer. Ron Harris and Brian Lee try to interrupt but get beaten down by the stars.

Brian Lawler panics about his girlfriend missing and says it’s a life or death situation. Next.

Hermie Sadler is praised for being awesome in NASCAR and is invited to be here for the next match.

Bruce comes out to insult Sadler’s wife and calls out some chick from the crowd for a match.

Miss TNA: Bruce vs. ???

She doesn’t even get a name and is pinned by a powerbomb in like a minute. Did I mention they have no idea how to fill an hour and forty five minutes of PPV time at this point?

Sadler gives Bruce an atomic drop post match.

Jerry Lynn is ready for his one shot at greatness when Killings comes in and says Jerry has to kill him to beat him. This wasn’t bad actually.

Gauntlet for the Gold

There are twenty people (ten teams) in this with two individuals starting. It’s a Royal Rumble style match and when there are two people left, the partners return for a tag match for the vacant titles, which were vacated when AJ/Lynn had a double pin against Jarrett/Killings. Brian Lawler is #1 and James Storm is #2. Lawler crotches him on the ropes before the bell but Storm fires off right hands. Apparently Chris Harris is going to be #20.

Storm pounds away to start and a missile dropkick puts Brian down. With nothing else happening, here’s Jose Maximo at #3. Lawler gets double teamed in the corner for a bit before fighting both guys off. Derek Wyles is #4 but after some headscissors, Lawler throws him out. Joel is dumped too and we’re back to Storm vs. Lawler. Actually scratch that as Lawler eliminates his third guy in a row by sending Storm out. You know, because Brian Lawler is AWESOME.

Buff Bagwell is #5 and he comes in with middle fingers blazing. Oh wait he’s Marcus Bagwell here, despite looking and wrestling like he has for years. Bagwell hits a neckbreaker and pounds away in the corner until Kobain is #6. Lawler again gets to dominate some more talented people until Ace Steele is #7. There’s nothing of note to talk about here as it’s just standing around and slowly beating on each other in the corner with Lawler biting Bagwell’s head.

Jorge Estrada is #8 and gets chopped by Steele. The ring is getting too full now. Lawler hits Bagwell low in the corner and Brian Lee is #9. Hopefully he can throw some of these little men out. We don’t get that of course since that would help the match, so here’s Syxx-Pac at #10. Syxx cleans house and dumps Jose off a chop (yes a chop) before hitting the Bronco Buster on Marcus.

CM Punk (Steele’s partner) is #11 but Steele is thrown out before Punk makes it to the ring. We hear about how impressive it is that Lawler has lasted ELEVEN minutes as Jimmy Rave (Derrick Wylde) is #12. Punk hits a Rey Mysterio sitout bulldog on Rave as there are too many people out there. Ron Harris (Brian Lee) is #13 to give us our first full team. Their dominance is shown as they send Jorge to the apron, but the Karate Elvis (again, seriously) sunset flips Lee down to survive. The second attempt works though and Estrada is gone.

Punk and Rave are tossed by the big guys as well, meaning two full teams are eliminated. Syxx sends out Bagwell and Lawler (no fanfare, which is odd as the announcers have spent ten minutes worshipping the guy) as BG James (Marcus Bagwell) is #14. We get heel miscommunication between Lee and Harris but Road Dogg (blonde here for some reason) gets stomped down I the corner. Joel Maximo (Jose Maximo) is #15 and is out about two seconds later.

Syxx gets hit with a big double spinebuster but since Waltman is a GIANT KILLER he clotheslines both of them down at once. Since we haven’t seen enough of him tonight, here’s Brian Lawler AGAIN to throw out Syxx. Slash (Kobain) is #16 and BG James is triple teamed. Sonni Siaki (Jorge Estrada) is #17 and he goes after Slash to give James a breather.

Disco Inferno (Brian Lawler) is #18 as the match continues to drag. Scott Hall (Syxx Pac) is #19 and he pounds away on Lee. Ron Harris is dumped out and Chris Harris (James Storm) is #20, giving us a final grouping of Hall, Chris Harris, Siaki, Disco, James and Lee. The announcers aren’t sure if Slash was eliminated despite seeing him go over the top. Siaki is dumped and Disco gets caught between Hall and BG until Hall finally knocks him out. Hall and James square off but Lee jumps both guys for stereo eliminations, getting us down to Harris vs. Lee, meaning the battle royal is over.

Rating: D. This was long and dull with the partner thing going almost nowhere. Between that and the worship of Brian Lawler, this never went anywhere. The fast intervals helped, but so many of these people are unknown for the most part, which makes it hard to care about any of them. Also the two giants looked pitiful out there for the most part which didn’t do them any favors.

Tag Titles: James Storm/Chris Harris vs. Brian Lee/Ron Haris

Ron chokeslams James on the stage to start things off as a handicap match. Also here’s Jeff Jarrett to beat up BG James and take the focus off the title match. Lee kicks Chris in the face as AMW (are they even called that yet?) is in big trouble. Chris comes back for a bit but gets clotheslined down for two. West points out the problem here: too many people named James and Harris.

Storm finally gets back in and cleans house, only to get caught in a chokeslam/belly to back suplex combo for no cover. Ron pulls out a table for no apparent reason and lays Storm out on top of it. Lee loads up Chris in a chokeslam but gets rolled up (and into the ropes) to give AMW the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This was barely even a match with Chris getting beaten down for a few minutes and Storm being on the floor most of the time. The table thing was stupid and the ending was even worse as both guys were in the ropes for the fall and the referee counted it anyway. Nothing to see here, but at least the right team won.

BG James is bloody in the back to make sure the tag titles get no focus.

NWA World Title: Ron Killings vs. Jerry Lynn

If Lynn wins, he’s a Triple Crown Champion three months after the promotion started. Truth jumps him to start and elbows Lynn down before talking a lot of trash. Tenay thinks that whoever controls the match will win. This man is the PROFESSOR people. A headscissors puts Truth down and a backbreaker gets two for Jerry. Lynn hits what appeared to be a slingshot elbow to the groin in the corner but Truth pops up and throws him out to the floor.

The champion drops Jerry face first onto the announce table and Lynn is busted open. Back in and a kind of belly to back suplex gets two for Truth and he shows Jerry’s bloody face to the camera. Lynn comes back with his spinning sunset flip out of the corner for two but Truth does his backflip into a drop down into a side kick sequence. They head back to the floor with Truth ramming Jerry’s bloody head into the post and gouging at the cut.

Back in again and Truth puts on a modified surfboard but Lynn grabs the rope. The ax kick gets two for Truth but Jerry comes back with a spinning rollup for two of his own. Truth stays on offense as AJ Styles is at ringside. Now Kid Kash and the S.A.T. come down as well. Here are the Flying Elvises as the fans are ALL behind Lynn. Jerry makes a comeback with some clotheslines but the cradle piledriver is countered. Lynn reverses a suplex into a DDT for two but AJ breaks up the pin. The challenger goes up but Siaki shoves him down, allowing Truth to hit a Diamond Cutter for the pin to retain.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but the drama felt manufactured and the big moment feeling they were going for doesn’t work when the company debuted three months before this. The match wasn’t bad but Truth wasn’t the kind of guy you want working a match like this. The Siaki interference was as obvious as you can get as well.

BG James comes out to talk trash about Killings for no apparent reason. This brings out Jarrett because he has to end the show but Hall and Waltman make the save to close us out.

Overall Rating: D. This didn’t work at all for the most part. We had a mindless spot fest to start and then a pretty boring feature match for the tag titles. On top of that we have a just ok main event and WAY too much Brian Lawler. When you combine that with the stupid boxing and Bruce stuff, this wasn’t that entertaining. They need a story and they need it soon.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Smackdown
Date: April 11, 2002
Location: Tucson Convention Center, Tucson, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is a request I got months ago and I’m able to get at it here. This would be just after Wrestlemania 18 and HHH is world champion. He has a match tonight against Angle which is the only thing I can see on this card worth watching. Actually scratch that as we have Edge vs. Jericho too. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Angle to open the show. He complains about Hogan getting the title shot at Backlash because no one wants to see it. Taz agrees with Kurt but the rest of the people don’t seem to think so. Angle talks about being in the Olympics and beating Russians and Iranians tougher than Nikolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik. On top of THAT, Angle was left out of the #1 contender’s match on Raw, so there’s no shot for Angle for a long time.

Kurt says he’s better than anyone on Raw or Smackdown and he’s going to prove that tonight in his non-title match against HHH. Angle gets annoyed at the WHAT chants (oh, he has no idea what’s coming does he) and thinks the fans are just rude. Back when he was in Atlanta, the people had respect for him, unlike here in Tucson. Angle says that instead of saying WHAT, the fans should say IT’S TRUE. Guess what they chant every time he says this?

Edge finally pops up to calm Angle down because he’s “fun-loving” now. Apparently Angle busted him open with a chair last week. I miss the vertical name graphics this show used to have. Edge says that Angle winning a gold medal was inspiring, it was breath taking, and it was SIX YEARS AGO. However, since Angle doesn’t have a title match anytime soon, how about they have a match at Backlash? Angle is cool with that and the deal is made. Edge says it’s a date (and that Angle doesn’t hear that very often). He has an idea too: how about instead of chanting WHAT, they should chant YOU SUCK.

Post break Angle is in the back when Jericho comes in. They talk some trash about Edge with Angle saying there’s nothing he hates more than a loud mouthed blonde haired Canadian who dresses like a rock star. “Well except for you. You’re cool.” They agree to form a pact against Hogan and Edge.

Hurricane vs. Tajiri

Tajiri is very evil here and has his girlfriend Torrie Wilson in a very discreet kimono. Hurricane blocks a wheelbarrow suplex and armdrags Tajiri out to the floor for a BIG flip dive to take over. Back in and Tajiri rolls through a sunset flip and kicks the green out of Hurricane’s hair before dropping a knee for two.

The handspring elbow misses and Hurricane heads to the floor, only to be taken down by a quick rana from the apron. Back in again and Hurricane hits one of his own, only to miss a charge in the corner. The Tarantula doesn’t work so there’s the Eye of the Hurricane for two. Not that it matters as Hurricane gets his head kicked off for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is what Smackdown was known for back in the day: fast paced and exciting matches. Tajiri and Hurricane were two guys you could throw out there for something like this and have an entertaining match because both guys were young and talented. That’s something you almost NEVER get today because you don’t have quick matches which don’t mean much like this anymore. Now everything has some bigger purpose and it’s kind of tiring.

Post match Tajiri yells at Torrie for no apparent reason until Billy Kidman runs out for the save.

Stacy goes to look for Vince but finds an empty office and a couch. Apparently Vince is hiring an assistant or something tonight.

Albert vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

I believe this is the debut of Albert’s (Tensai) small black trunks which don’t work that well on a monster. This is also Albert’s re-debut as a heel after he turned on Scotty last week. Albert goes right for him to start and pounds on Scotty in the corner. I don’t see this lasting long. The slingshot into the bottom ropes gets two but Albert misses a charge into the corner. After a token dropkick and WORM attempt later, it’s the bicycle kick (Brogue Kick) and chokebomb to complete the squash for Albert.

Post match Rikishi makes a save, setting up a match which never happened on Smackdown.

Vince finds Stacy and we get the innuendo you’ve known to come and tolerate from the boss. The auditions for the assistant’s position are in the ring later tonight.

In the back, fashion consultant Rico makes fun of Maven until Al Snow, Maven’s trainer, makes the save. Billy and Chuck pop in to tease a brawl.

Hogan says he wants one more run but HHH is very awesome. Trips is a tough dude for coming back from such a bad injury and beating Jericho at Wrestlemania. Since you can’t say someone’s name in wrestling without them appearing, here’s Jericho to say Hogan has nothing to lose, but HHH has everything to lose. Hulk starts a-ponderin’.

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Edge is on the brink of something huge at this point so the solution was to put him against guys like Jericho and Angle who could make him look awesome while making him look WAY better in the ring than he was capable of on his own. It’s a tested philosophy and it’s worked nearly every time. The pop for Edge is great here as the girls and the young adults go NUTS. I was a big Edgehead back in the day before he became the more famous version of himself.

Jericho takes over with some chops against the ropes to start but Edge comes back with a spinwheel kick and a faceplant to take over. Chris is sent to the floor and onto the announce table with Edge pounding away. He’s much more aggressive than he used to be, but somehow he’s fun-loving now. Back in and a top rope crossbody gets two for Edge but Jericho comes back with a clothesline to take over.

After choking on the ropes and the running crotch attack in 619 position, Jericho gets two off a suplex. This is a weird period for Jericho as he was still a former world champion but he was crushed so badly at Wrestlemania that it basically knocked him down into the upper midcard. This put him in a no man’s land between the main event style and midcard style and it didn’t work well at all. Edge comes back with a whip into the corner and both guys are down.

Edge starts his comeback with some clotheslines but a middle rope sunset flip is countered into a Walls attempt which is countered into a rollup for two. Edge hits his half nelson facebuster but here’s Angle for unseen interference. A spear puts him down but Jericho hits the bulldog, only to have the Lionsault hit knees.

Edge hits a catapult to send Jericho into the referee, meaning there’s no one to see Jericho tap to the Edgecator (kneeling Sharpshooter). For reasons I’ll never understand, Edge lets it go instead of cranking on it until the referee wakes up. Jericho goes to the floor for a chair but gets speared down for two. Angle snaps Edge’s neck over the top rope, allowing Jericho to get a rollup with tights for the pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but Jericho didn’t do much for me at this point. He was still smooth in the ring but this period of his career is always pretty lame for me. It would turn around in a big way in 2004, but that would be nearly two years away. Edge looked good and it’s definitely not a bad match, but it never got that far off the ground.

Post break, Angle and Jericho beat up Edge in the back until Hogan makes the save to set up a tag match.

Time for Vince’s job interviews. He sends a stereotypical secretary and a man away before getting a somewhat decent looking blonde. There’s a desk in the ring and all that jazz. The fans have no tolerance for this and wants puppies. Vince says this chick can have the job unless someone has an offer he can’t refuse. Cue Stacy (in Ms. Hancock attire) and one table dance later she gets the job.

Post break we meet Reverend D-Von who asks Vince to be his benefactor to save the world from its sins. Vince agrees, oddly enough. D-Von as a preacher went nowhere but it did accomplish one major thing: he debuted a helper a few weeks later. The helper’s name: Batista.

We go to the parking lot where Mark Henry is going to try to hold back a limo with his legs only for thirty seconds. Wrestlers take bets on it because they’re not important enough to be on the show otherwise. Test is going to be behind the wheel of the limo which is about the extent of his talents. Henry holds it back but after thirty seconds, Test keeps on the accelerator, making everyone mad at him. Test? Being a jerk? Really?

Al Snow vs. Chuck

Let’s get this over with. Snow gets stomped into the corner but comes back with a cross body for two. Rico gets involved quickly to let Chuck take over with a clothesline and a pair of suplexes for two. Snow makes a quick comeback and loads up the Snowplow (scoop brainbuster) but Billy trips him up. Maven chases Billy away as Chuck gets two off the Jungle (super) kick. Snow pops up and Snowplows him for the pin.

Rating: D. Next. No seriously, get me to the next thing on the show. There’s nothing to talk about here.

Hogan comes up to HHH in the back and offers to have his back in the main event if Jericho interferes. HHH reminds Hogan that they’re fighting in ten days so he wants nothing to do with Hogan. The champ (HHH) rambles on for a bit about what it means to be champion and turns heel for the sake of this feud. They have zero chemistry together but whatever.

Kurt Angle vs. HHH

Non-title. They trade headlocks to start with no one going anywhere at all. A quick Pedigree is loaded up but Angle reverses into a sunset flip, with the trunks being pulled to the side in the process. We head to the floor with Angle sending HHH into the steps to take over again. Kurt rolls some Germans back inside and adds a belly to belly for two more. Angle tries a sleeper for a bit but gets suplexed down and DDTed for two.

The high knee puts Angle down but Trips charges into an elbow in the corner. This isn’t exactly riveting stuff. The spinebuster hits for two on Angle as Jericho pulls the referee out. Angle gets caught in a Pedigree but Jericho breaks it up by hitting a Lionsault on HHH, which presumably would hurt Angle as well but whatever. Hogan comes out for the save and after a beatdown he takes out both villains. A Pedigree is enough to finish Angle.

Rating: D+. This was another slow and not very good match. They had already had their big showdown at No Way Out and HHH was an even bigger star now than he was then, so what were we supposed to think was going to happen here? The match wasn’t terrible but it was pretty lackluster stuff.

HHH glares at Hogan for coming out but gets knocked into Hulk, triggering a brawl. Hogan lays out HHH (shocking no?) but gets beaten down by Angle and Jericho to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I’ve seen worse, but thank goodness the Brand Split would kick in full soon after this. At the end of the day, Hogan vs. HHH was a very uninteresting feud and it was backed up by feuds such as Albert vs. Rikishi and Snow/Maven vs. Billy and Chuck. We eventually traded that in for Guerrero, Benoit, Chavo, Mysterio, the rookie monster Brock Lesnar, and this kid named Cena who would debut soon. See why Smackdown in 2002 was so revered?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for only $5 at:

Wrestlemania XVIII
Date: March 17, 2002
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 68,237
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a show where things have really changed a lot in a single year. The Attitude Era is over and the Invasion has come and thankfully gone. HHH is returning tonight to take the Undisputed Title which was supposed to be his in the first place but he wasn’t back from injury yet. Instead it went to Chris Jericho, who knew his days were numbered the second HHH came back. The real main event here though is The Rock vs. Hulk Hogan, who returned with Hall and Nash last month. This is the point where a lot of the shows are fuzzy to me because a lot of the matches and feuds are just filler. Let’s get to it.

Before the show Saliva performs Superstar. Eh I like the song so I can’t complain. Also it’s not like they’re performing a rock version of America the Beautiful. That would just be stupid.

The opening video is about how Wrestlemania is the biggest show of the year and what it means for your career to make it to this show. The main focus is on HHH being back in the main event tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal

Regal is defending and this is during his Power of the Punch period. Van Dam kicks him down to start before pounding away at the champion’s head. The fans are all behind RVD here as Regal quickly loads up the brass knuckles. RVD is ready for it though and kicks the knuckles away. A nice jumping kick to the face takes Regal down again but a quick Five Star attempt misses.

The champion takes it to the mat for a bit before a quick suplex gets two. Regal puts on a quick chinlock but Van Dam flips out of it, only to hit knees with Rolling Thunder. A nice butterfly powerbomb gets two for Regal but Rob rolls him up before the Regal Stretch can go on. Van Dam monkey flips Regal down but Regal blocks the stepover kick into a half nelson suplex. Nicely done. Rob rolls to the floor and Regal follows, where he finds the brass knuckles. The referee takes them away back inside, but Regal pulls out a second pair. Not that it matters though as RVD kicks him down and hits the Five Star to win the title.

Rating: B-. Nice opener here with some solid strikes from Van Dam and even nicer counters by Regal. It’s also a good feeling moment for the fans which should put them in a good mood for the rest of the show. That’s what a good opener is supposed to do and it worked fine here. That’s the first of Van Dam’s six IC Titles over his career.

Christian talks about not needing DDP or this city anymore. Also he’s totally over those temper tantrums of his.

European Title: Christian vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Christian is challenging and he cranks up the heel levels here by saying that he’s now from Tampa instead of Toronto. Page is very POSITIVE at this point but he never worked in WWF. At the end of the day, Page grew up in front of the WCW cameras instead of the WWF ones, so there was no connection to the fans. He was just an old guy with a good finisher and not much else.

Christian jumps Page to start but Page comes back with a nice over the shoulder gutbuster before clotheslining Christian out to the floor. Back in and Page pounds away in the corner, only to be dropped face first onto the buckle. We hear about Page being the Cadillac driver at Wrestlemania 6 in this same building which is indeed a pretty cool story. They trade slugs in the corner but Christian rams Page into the post to take over.

Back inside and Christian puts on an abdominal stretch followed by a backbreaker for two. Christian goes up top but gets slammed from the bottom rope (that’s a new one) as Page takes over. The discus lariat and helicopter bomb get two each for the champion but the Cutter is blocked. Another attempt out of the corner is countered into the reverse DDT for two. Christian keeps himself calm though, only to walk into the Diamond Cutter to retain the title.

Rating: C. Not quite as good as the first match but it certainly wasn’t bad. The problem here was the same one I mentioned earlier: there’s really no reason to care about Page. He’s not terrible but there’s nothing about him that makes WWF fans interested in him. Christian was still several months (and a big haircut) away from meaning anything as a singles guy. Page would lose the title to Regal in two days and it would be retired in July.

Post match Page says that was a good thing but Christian has a tantrum anyway.

Rock says he wants Hulkamania to be running wild tonight. He asks Coach if he took his vitamins this morning. Coach did, but he was too busy to say his prayers. This doesn’t sit well with Rock so he demands some prayers right now. Coach gets down on his knees. Coach: “What up G?” Rock: “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??? GET OUT OF HERE YOU SICK FREAK!” Rock says he’s running wild on Hogan tonight and tears his own shirt off. He’s feeling it tonight.

Hardcore Title: Goldust vs. Maven

Maven is defending and this is another match with no real story to it. Goldie jumps him during the entrance to take over quickly. A forearm off the railing keeps Maven down and it’s cookie sheet time. We head inside with Maven avoiding a catapult and hitting a kind of Van Daminator with a trashcan and dropkick for two. Goldie neckbreakers him down for two and busts out a shovel. Instead of using it though he whips Maven into the trashcan for two. Goldust puts Maven down with a shot to the head….and here’s Spike Dudley running in for the pin and the title. We’ve got a running joke tonight and I’m not rating this nonsense.

Drowning Pool performs a song called Tear Away which “tells the story” of the main event, which means we get a small video of the feud as they play their song. This fills up like five minutes of the show, which combined with the other performance earlier could have easily gone to another match or extending one of the existing ones.

As could this, as in the back Crash and Spike are fighting again until Al Snow and a referee come up in a golf cart. He misses both guys fighting but here’s Hurricane swinging in on a rope to kick Spike down and win the title.

After a don’t try this at home video, we recap Hurricane winning the title. SERIOUSLY? On WRESTLEMANIA we’re wasting time like this?

Kurt Angle vs. Kane

Angle has the SWEET black singlet here. He rips on the Canadian figure skating team that had a big controversy over winning a gold medal. Angle says he’s a big red white and blue machine but here’s the interruption. If there’s a reason for this match, it’s not important enough to mention and I can’t remember it either. Apparently there’s something about Kane having a concussion so Angle hits him with the bell before the….uh bell actually.

A quick German suplex puts Kane down and Kurt stomps away. Kane gets up and hits some right hands before stomping away in the corner for a bit. A two handed chokeslam puts Angle down but he blocks the one armed version. Angle comes back with a belly to belly suplex for no cover but it scrambles Kane’s head again. Kurt chokes away on the ropes and a belly to back suplex gets two. Off to a front facelock for a bit until Kane throws Angle off to get a breather.

The side slam puts Kane down but Angle rolls some Germans to put him right back down. A top rope clothesline puts Kane down again but the second attempt lands on an uppercut from Kane. Both guys are down again as the match slows down even more. Kane comes back with the big boot and the tilt-a-whirl powerslam for two. Now the chokeslam hits but Angle grabs the rope. Angle grabs the mask to confuse Kane and hits the Angle Slam for two.

There’s the ankle lock for a bit which has made Kane tap before, but he makes the rope this time. An enziguri puts Angle down and Kane goes up, only for Angle to run the ropes for the suplex. The Angle Slam is countered and Kane grabs a chokeslam, only for Angle to roll through into a cradle. They botch said cradle but Angle improvises by putting his feet on the ropes because he’s smart like that.

Rating: C-. This was just kind of there which hurt it a lot. Again, I’m not really sure why these two were fighting. There was a mention of head trauma for Kane but that was never elaborated on at all. Also it didn’t really seem to mess with Kane after the first two minutes or so, making it a pretty pointless injury. Not bad here, but it didn’t do anything of note for me.

Hurricane tries to sneak out of the building but winds up seeing Godfather’s escorts changing clothes. Erection jokes are made using a broom. This isn’t funny.

We recap Undertaker vs. Flair. Flair cost Taker a match against Rock at No Way Out for reasons not clear, so Taker demanded a match here tonight. Flair said no so Taker beat up Arn Anderson and Flair’s son David. The Board made Flair step down as a result. Vince made this No DQ to be a jerk.

Ric Flair vs. Undertaker

Flair goes straight for him to start and takes it to the floor immediately, sending Taker over the announce table to pound away. Back in and Flair punches Undertaker out to the floor where he’s staggering around. Taker sends him into the barricade to put him down though and we head back inside. We get the Flair Flip in the corner and then a second one that sends Flair out to the floor.

Taker pounds him down by the timekeeper’s table, busting Ric open in the process. Back in and Taker kicks him in his bloody head for good measure. Taker pounds away in the corner but Flair comes back with some HARD chops. There’s blood on the camera as Undertaker knocks Flair right back down. A pretty awesome superplex puts Flair down but Undertaker pulls him up at two because he’s EVIL. Taker hits a hard elbow to Flair’s head before dropping the apron legdrop.

Back in and Flair pulls him up again before pounding away at Naitch’s head. Flair avoids an elbow drop though and counters Old School for good measure. Undertaker is bleeding from the cheek. A side slam stops Flair’s comeback dead for two and we’re right back where we were a minute ago. They head out to the floor where Flair pulls a lead pipe off of Taker’s bike and blasts him in the forehead with it. A shot to the ribs has Taker in trouble again and his head is busted open on top of that.

Flair finds a Keep Off sign and blasts Taker with it a few times as we head back inside. Taker grabs him by the throat but Flair kicks him in his old dead balls to break it up. Off to the Figure Four but Taker grabs him by the throat to escape. The chokeslam gets two so Taker shoves the referee down. He grabs the pipe again but here’s Arn Anderson with a spinebuster for two. Taker LAUNCHED Flair out on the kickout too.

Anderson comes in and gets busted open via some shots to the head and is put in a dragon sleeper (yes Taker used to use that) for good measure. Flair breaks it up with a chair but gets kicked in the face. They botch the Last Ride attempt (it almost looked like Flair was sandbagging him) so Taker Tombstones him to end it.

Rating: C. Just a long punching match here for the most part which wasn’t all that good. Anderson was a nice sight to see but it didn’t do much to help Flair. The problem with Taker at this point was that he wouldn’t sell ANYTHING and it made Flair look all the weaker in the process. So naturally they made him world champion in like two months.

Booker T (wearing glasses for some reason) says he’s smart because he’s wearing glasses. He claims to have aced the SAT and won an award for a paper on Einstein’s Theory of Relatives. “He had two theories.” After tonight, Edge can endorse a book about getting beaten up by Booker T. This was the semi-infamous “THEY’RE FIGHTING OVER SHAMPOO!” feud, where Edge stole a Japanese shampoo endorsement deal from Booker. It may sound stupid, but you can’t say it’s been done.

Booker T vs. Edge

Booker gets in a cheap shot to start but the hometown boy comes back with a dropkick and half nelson mat slam for two. A hot shot puts Edge down again though as JR talks about government officials that are interested in Mania. Edge gets clotheslined out to the floor and stomped a bit before we head back inside. A missile dropkick gets two on Edge as this is still all Booker. There’s a spinebuster for the same but Booker goes up and gets crotched, allowing Edge to botch a top rope rana to put Booker down.

Back up and Edge hits some clotheslines followed by the Edge-O-Matic for two. Edge counters Booker’s corner sunset flip into a catapult but misses the spear. There’s a superkick to put Edge down and it’s Spinarooni time. Edge hits a fast spear for two and does a Spinarooni of his own. The Edgecution hits and we’re done.

Rating: D+. The match sucked but the fans loved it that Edge came back home and won. That being said, this shows one of the major problems with this show: so many of the matches could have been aired on Raw but instead they’re airing on Wrestlemania. They don’t feel big and that’s a bad thing.

Hurricane insists he’s not a pervert but Mighty Molly hits him with a frying pan for the pin and the title.

We recap Vince bringing in the NWO. They cost Austin the title at No Way Out so Austin toyed with them for awhile, including kidnapping Hall. This resulted in the NWO breaking a cinder block over Austin’s knee and it hurt him so bad that he taped up the OTHER knee and limped on it for two weeks.

Steve Austin vs. Scott Hall

That’s a pretty big fall for Austin from main event to this in just a year. The injured Nash is with Hall here to try to make us believe Austin isn’t winning in a walk. Austin immediately stomps him down in the corner before Hall can even get his vest off. There’s the Thesz Press but Austin has to go after Nash on the floor instead of following up. Back in and Hall clotheslines him down for two as momentum shifts. Nash sneaks a turnbuckle pad off as the other two fight in the corner.

Austin gets whipped back first into said buckle pad and Nash adds a right hand for good measure. The fallaway slam gets two for Hall as does a hard clothesline. Hall stomps away at Austin’s ribs and Nash gets in another right hand to the head. Scott pounds away even more but Austin grabs a Stunner out of nowhere. Nash makes the save and decks the referee though, allowing for some good old NWO cheating.

Hall brings in a chair but Austin easily beats them both up and gives them both Stunners. No referee though but we get a replacement, only for Nash to drop an elbow on his back. The Outsider’s Edge is broken up and Hall is backdropped out to the floor. A bunch of referees come out to eject Nash as Hall sends Austin into the exposed buckle and hits a Stunner of his own (good one too) for two. Austin gets up and they do the EXACT same sequence but switch the people, allowing Austin to hit two Stunners to win it.

Rating: C. Again, much like everything else tonight, this was just a match. There was very little heat on this even though it was one of the better matches of the night. The big problem with most of these matches is that none of them feel special and that’s the case here. I mean….Austin vs. Scott Hall? Maybe four years ago, but in 2002? That doesn’t blow my skirt up.

Axxess video. That still looks awesome.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Billy and Chuck vs. APA

Saliva plays the Dudleyz to the ring which gives us the VERY nice image of Stacy in the Dudley attire dancing to the song. I’ve always thought she never looked better than she did in those outfits. Billy and Chuck are defending and this is elimination rules. Bradshaw jumps Chuck to start but Billy saves him from the fallaway slam. Instead it’s Billy taking it as it’s all Bradshaw so far.

A big belly to back suplex puts Chuck down again and it’s off to Faarooq. The crowd is eerily silent for this. Chuck clips Faarooq in the jaw with a right hand and it’s off to Billy for some choking. Billy loads up the Fameasser but gets caught in a wicked powerslam. Back to Bradshaw as things break down a bit. Billy tags in D-Von but the APA breaks up a 3D attempt. Faarooq hits a spinebuster on Chuck on the floor and there’s the big Clothesline to Billy, but Bradshaw walks into the 3D for the elimination.

The Hardys and Dudleys start fighting for old times’ sake before Matt and Jeff start beating on Chuck. The Dudleys load up a table but the Hardys dive on them to slow it up. Back in and there’s the Whisper in the Wind to Bubba. Stacy gets up on the apron and pulls up her shorts to distract Jeff, only to get spanked and kissed. A Bubba Bomb slows down Billy before Bubba chokes on Jeff with his shirt.

Things finally calm down a bit until we get to Jeff vs. Bubba again. With D-Von’s help, Bubba manages a backdrop to put Jeff down again and puts on a chinlock. D-Von comes in and runs over Jeff before pounding away in the corner. A belly to back suplex gets two and it’s back to Bubba. Having a regular tag match between these two is probably the best idea given how lame Billy and Chuck were in the ring. Bubba stands on Jeff’s crotch in the Tree of Woe before tagging in D-Von for some choking.

A clothesline by Jeff allows for the hot tag to Matt, only to see him immediately run over by Bubba. The backsplash misses of course though and Matt tries to speed it up a bit, only to get caught in What’s Up. Before D-Von can dive though, the champions remember they’re in this too and shove D-Von through the table on the floor. Matt pops up and it’s the Twist into the Swanton for the pin on Bubba, leaving us with Billy and Chuck against the Hardys.

A Side Effect puts Billy down and there’s Poetry in Motion for good measure. Chuck gets the same along with a Twist of Fate. Jeff adds in the Swanton but Billy sneaks in with a Fameasser on Jeff but Chuck can only get two off o it. Instead it’s a belt shot to Jeff’s head for the pin by Chuck to FINALLY end this.

Rating: D. This was only thirteen minutes long but MAN ALIVE was this a chore to sit through. There was no need for this to be on the card and everyone from the commentators to the fans had no interest in it. The only good thing about this was how insanely hot Stacy looked. This could have easily been cut and made this already bloated show a bit easier to sit through.

The Outsiders want to beat up Rock to make up for Austin, but Hogan calls them off because he needs to do this by himself. The Outsiders aren’t sure about that but they agree….until Hogan leaves.

Molly tries to leave but gets hit in the face by a door to give Christian the title.

We recap Hogan vs. Rock, which is the real main event of this show. Hogan talked about how he was a legend but then the people turned on him. Rock came out and said that it was Hogan that changed rather than the people. He said Hogan had talked about main headlining Wrestlemania after Wrestlemania, so how does he feel about headlining one more Wrestlemania against the Rock. Hogan said yes and got a Rock Bottom for his trouble.

Then a week later, Hogan hit Rock in the back of the head with a hammer and put him in an ambulance which he then rammed with a semi-truck. Since this is 2002 and one of the dumbest years ever in wrestling, Rock was back the next week. It’s one of those moments that was really REALLY stupid and not needed at all.

Hollywood Hogan vs. The Rock

Both guys get solid pops as this is an old WWF city, which means Hogan could set fire to a kitten orphanage and still be popular. The pre match chants seem to favor Hulk, but here are some Rock fans to counter them. They stare at each other and there’s the loudest pop for an opening bell I can remember. Hogan shoves him down to start and the fans go NUTS. You can tell Hogan is feeling it here. After a quick headlock Hogan runs him over and poses, sending the crowd further into a frenzy.

A clothesline puts Rock down as the crowd is almost completely one sided. Rock comes back with a jumping clothesline and the fans boo him out of the freaking building. Rock says just bring it and knocks Hogan to the floor with some right hands. Back in and Rock loads up the Rock Bottom but Hogan escapes and elbows out of it. He rakes his boot over Rock’s eyes to another big pop. There’s another big HOGAN chant for good measure.

A belly to back suplex gets two for Hulk and there’s an abdominal stretch for good measure. Hulk even adds in a rollup for two before raking Rock’s back. Rock escapes and comes back with some chops in the corner but walks into a chokeslam of all things from Hulk. He sends Rock out to the floor as this is still almost one sided so far. Rock goes face first into the steps and dropped on the barricade for good measure.

Hogan starts loading up the announce table but Rock fights back with right hands. Rock gets a chair but the referee takes it away, allowing Hogan to clothesline Rock down. Back inside and Rock is sent into the referee. Rock comes back with a lame spinebuster and the Sharpshooter. Hulk makes the rope but there’s no referee. Rock pulls him to the middle of the ring but there’s still no referee.

The fans just lay into Rock now with the Rocky Sucks chants as he checks on the referee. Hogan hits him low though and gets a pretty freaking good Rock Bottom for two. Hogan takes off his weightlifting belt to whip Rock’s back but Rock comes back with a DDT. There’s the Rock Bottom but Hogan HULKS UP. The fans absolutely lose their minds now as Hogan shakes his finger and hits the big boot, but the legdrop only gets two. Another big boot hits but the second legdrop misses. There’s the Rock Bottom again and a third for good mesaure. Rock nips up and hits the People’s Elbow to end it.

Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade but I think it’s a lot like the Hogan vs. Warrior match in the same building: the crowd carries it to a much higher level than it deserves to be at which is just fine. The crowd was completely eating up the nostalgia and there’s nothing at all wrong with that. Hogan would get one of the longest ovations in history the next night in Montreal and those two reactions were enough to put the world title on him for a month soon after this. It wasn’t the best idea in the world, but given those reactions I can understand why they did it. This was a very fun match and should have been the main event.

Post match they stare each other down with Hogan holding his ribs. Hogan extends his hand and Rock gladly shakes it. Hulk lets Rock pose but here are the Outsiders. They yell at Hogan and beat him down, but Rock runs back in for the save. Hall and Nash are dispatched and Rock and Hogan stand tall, apparently having made up after Hogan HIT ROCK WITH A HAMMER AND CRUSHING HIM WITH A SEMITRUCK. Rock has Hogan pose for the fans after the match in another nostalgia moment.

Big Show is at WWF New York.

We get the attendance record announcement: 68,237, breaking the record (presumably) held by Wrestlemania VI by about 600 people.

Women’s Title: Jazz vs. Lita vs. Trish Stratus

Jazz is defending as these three get the death spot after that last match. Trish looks GREAT in a Canadian Maple Leaf themed outfit as the hometown girl. Jazz gets double teamed to start as you can hear the crowd not caring at all. Jazz comes back almost immediately with a half crab on Trish and the double chickenwing on Lita. A kick to Trish’s ample chest sends her out to the floor but Lita pounds on the champion to take over.

A Cena spinning powerbomb gets two on Jazz but she isn’t interested in being on defense that long. She loads Lita up for a superplex but Trish breaks it up with an electric chair for two. All three are back in now and Lita gets a weak clothesline to put Jazz down. Trish loads up Stratusfaction but Jazz breaks it up and gets two off a splash on Lita. A release fisherman’s suplex gets two on Trish as Jerry lists off countries the show is airing in. Jazz is knocked to the floor so we can have the brawl that people actually care about.

A bad looking backdrop puts Trish down but Jazz comes back in, only to walk into the Twist of Fate. Lita teases taking her top off but tries a moonsault instead, only hitting Trish’s knees. Trish chops at Lita but they collide coming out of the corner. Lita sends Jazz to the floor and breaks up a Stratusfaction attempt by sending Trish to the floor. Lita goes up but gets crotched, allowing Jazz to hit a fisherman’s buster off the middle rope on Lita to retain.

Rating: D-. Trish looked great and Lita wasn’t bad either, but DEAR GOODNESS no one cared about Jazz. For the life of me I don’t get why Trish didn’t win the title here. She would eventually take the title off Jazz in like a month. On Raw. In Toronto. You know, not HERE AT WRESTLEMANIA IN TORONTO.

Maven jumps Christian as he leaves and steals the title again, finally ending this stupid joke.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. Chris Jericho

HHH won the Rumble to get this show. Drowning Pool does HHH’s entrance and it SUCKS. That’s meant to be an old school rock song, not a bad metal version. The big story here is that HHH got tired of his wife Stephanie being all annoying and saying she could do whatever she wanted because anyone that opposed her would have to deal with HHH so he yelled at her, sending her over to Jericho. If you actually believe Jericho has anything resembling a chance here, I feel sorry for you. He does get a face pop though. Oh and HHH’s repaired quad is “hanging by a thread”.

Stephanie starts screeching as soon as the bell rings. Jericho takes him to the corner to start and bends the leg around the rope to a bit of an effect. HHH fires back with some right hands and the fans don’t seem to care. A backdrop puts Jericho down as does a clothesline. HHH comes back with the jumping knee to the face but hurts the bad leg in the process.

Jericho hits a backdrop to send HHH to the outside as they’re getting close to plodding territory. The champion spends too much time posing and is sent into the barricade for his troubles. A suplex on the floor lays out Jericho but HHH takes too much time loading up the announce table, allowing the champion to kick the bad leg out. Back inside now and HHH gets all CEREBRAL BABY and goes after Jericho’s leg.

After a good look at Stephanie’s rocking cleavage, there’s a figure four by HHH. Stephanie digs her nails into HHH’s eyes to break it up though, causing HHH to go after her. Jericho charges into Stephanie by mistake and into the ring she goes. HHH loads up the Pedigree on his wife but Jericho hits a missile dropkick to break it up. HHH’s leg is wrapped around the post a few times and Stephanie kicks him in the leg for good measure.

Back in again and Jericho cranks on the leg. The match isn’t bad so far but it’s doing nothing to draw my interest. The leg is wrapped around the post again and there’s the Figure Four around the post (on the correct leg and everything!) for good measure. Back in and HHH is taken down to the mat to stop a comeback bid before Jericho puts on an Indian Deathlock. HHH finally kicks Jericho away, sending him shoulder first into the post.

There’s a neckbreaker to Chris but he’s up first anyway. A clothesline gets two for HHH as Stephanie cheers for Jericho. The facebuster puts HHH down but he hurts his own leg again. The spinebuster gets two for HHH but Jericho is still up first. HHH is sent over the corner and out to the floor where Jericho loads up the announce table again. Jericho tries to put him in the Walls on the announce table ala the night HHH tore his quad but HHH fights out. Instead he loads up a Pedigree but Jericho backdrops him through the other table.

Back in and Jericho hits the Lionsault for two and there are the Walls for good measure. Jericho pulls him away from the ropes so HHH crawls again to make them. Stephanie offers a distraction so Jericho can bring in a chair but HHH counters with a DDT onto said chair. The crowd is DEAD for this. Stephanie comes in for no apparent reason and we finally get to see HHH Pedigree her. A chair shot to the head puts HHH down for two so Jericho loads up a Pedigree of his own. That gets countered into a slingshot and the real Pedigree gives HHH the title back.

Rating: C+. The match itself was ok but the crowd really drags it down. The problem with this match is that it went on after EVERYTHING else tonight and everyone is so freaking tired that no one cared. It didn’t help that HHH might have been a more obvious winner than Austin four years ago so we had to sit through 19 minutes until we got to the clear finish. The match itself was nothing special either. It was Jericho kicking him in the leg for the whole match before HHH escaped the Walls and hitting the Pedigree to win it. The match isn’t bad, but it’s completely lacking anything memorable.

HHH celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. FINALLY this is over. This is a show that collapsed under its own weight. Nothing on here other than Rock vs. Hogan is memorable at all and even worse, nothing else felt like it belonged at Wrestlemania. The show was lacking the emotion that it needed and you could tell the crowd wasn’t interested. It certainly isn’t a horrible show, but it’s dying to have about 45 minutes cut off. Do that and this is WAY easier to sit through. There’s a very big difference between something being bad and something being dull, and this was much more on the dull side.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal

Original: C

Redo: B-

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Christian

Original: D+

Redo: C

Maven vs. Goldust

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Kurt Angle vs. Kane

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. Ric Flair

Original: B

Redo: C

Edge vs. Booker T

Original: C

Redo: D+

Steve Austin vs. Scott Hall

Original: D

Redo: C

Billy and Chuck vs. APA vs. Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys

Original: F

Redo: D

Rock vs. Hollywood Hogan

Original: C+

Redo: B

Jazz vs. Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Original: F+

Redo: D-

HHH vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C

Redo: C-

I went back and forth a lot on that one but it still came out about the same. That’s intersting.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/25/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-18-should-have-been-hogan-vs-austin/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 25, 2002
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,550
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well as you know there’s usually a reason as to why I do these random Raws and in this case this is the first ever WWE Draft. Tonight we split the roster in two to have Raw and Smackdown as independent (yeah right) shows with different owners (Flair on Raw, Vince on Smackdown) in the system we’re used to now. This was also 8 days after Mania so we’re still kind of transitioning to the new year. Let’s get to it.

Linda introduces us to the concept of the Draft where tonight we’re only going to have twenty picks, as in ten each. There’s a world title match tonight with HHH vs. Jericho vs. Stephanie so none of them can be drafted. Also Austin is undraftable uh…..because he’s bald. That’s as good an explanation as any (the official reason is he had it in his contract. How was that contract written? “In the event that the roster becomes too big to sustain one roster and must be split in half under a concept called the Brand Split I get to not be drafted? Imagine those negotiations. In reality he was having a contract dispute and wasn’t signed).

Taz vs. Mr. Perfect

Hennig had made a comeback here at age 44 where he still looked solid out there. He would be gone in like three months after getting very drunk on a plane. He would be dead in less than a year which is mind blowing. Hennig says he’ll be the perfect pick and sounds a bit shall we say buzzed. Jazz and whoever winds up being world champion can be on both shows apparently. Perfectplex but Taz gets the ropes. They collide in the corner and Taz grabs the Tazmission to end this QUICK. Taz says Hennig was JUST ANOTHER VICTIM. He was getting popular around this time too but his neck gave out and he had to retire.

Rating: N/A. Way too short but competitive enough. Perfect was still rather good and looked exactly like he did in his prime. Shame his personal life was more or less a disaster because he could have been used as a solid midcard guy.

The owners are both in their war rooms going over their plans. Vince has the first pick.

After a break we’re ready for said pick. We get a brief speech and the #1 overall pick is The Rock. Can’t say that’s a bad way to go. Hard to believe he more or less had a year left. Rock comes out and Vince runs down a bunch of stuff Rock can’t do anymore, namely catchphrases he can’t say. Rock stops him from leaving and proceeds to make fun of Vince, leading the crowd in a huge YOU ARE A CENSORED chant. He’s just absolutely awesome here. This was rather funny. Rock does one last IF YA SMELL since it’s his last night on Raw which is a nice touch.

We’re back and it’s time for Flair’s first pick. With nothing special to say, he picks the Undertaker who was in a big feud with Flair around this time. Wow it’s weird to think about Taker being on Raw. He throws some stuff and we get a nice little graphic with Taker’s stats on it. Rock got the same.

Vince is ticked and Angle comes in to complain. Taker does the same and threatens Vince. It’s very weird to think that Taker started on Raw but he would be on Smackdown in about 4 months and has been there since.

Edge/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Booker T/Christian

These were both singles matches at Mania where both faces won. Edge was getting very hot very fast at this point and probably would have been world champion within a year had he not gotten hurt. Christian has the awesome entrance here with the high pitched singers saying AT LAST YOU ARE ON YOU OWN! I love that. It comes complete with Alberto’s current pyro. Christian cost DDP the European Title recently as well. Oh and Angle cost Edge a match vs. Booker.

The Draft Lottery is plugged even though most of the picks meant nothing. Edge and Booker start us off. This is another very short match where the Canadians go to the floor and DDP gets a Diamond Cutter on Booker. Christian with a save and Edge misses a spin kick by a mile but Christian doesn’t sell much of it, which I think was intentional. Axe Kick kills DDP for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This was another very short one although it was better than the first match. Nothing all that bad in here but when a match barely breaks two minutes it’s kind of hard to say if it was good or not. With such little time how can they get anything going at all? This wasn’t bad but it wasn’t very good either.

Angle lists off a ton of his accomplishments to Vince in an attempt to be the #2 pick which is rather funny. Vince wants the NWO though, which apparently is drafted as a unit. Vince takes Angle as the second pick after some nice psychology from Angle, but Kurt ticked about not being #1.

Flair immediately hits the stage and says he’ll do everything he can do to get Austin on Raw, which he would do. Flair takes the entire NWO (Hall, Nash and X-Pac) in a surprise. Vince is FURIOUS but vows to get Austin. Angle talks to him a bit and Vince takes Benoit who was still out injured. Oddly enough when he came back he started on Raw before moving over to Smackdown.

The NWO yells at Flair. Pac, who has been there since Thursday (literally) is now their mouthpiece. Hall says you don’t blow us off so Flair makes his #3 pick, who is designed to look after the NWO: Kane. Ok then. In other words on Smackdown we have Rock, Angle and Benoit. On Raw we have Nash (injured), Hall (fat), Waltman (overrated), Taker (AWFUL at this point) and Kane (you know the drill here). Which show would you rather watch?

Trish Stratus vs. Ivory

Ivory is back and this is some kind of a small grudge. Yeah there’s nothing to talk about here. Trish wins in about two minutes with Stratusfaction. No rating either. Totally worthless.

Vince comes out again and gets the chant Rock invented earlier. He takes Hogan, who is incorrectly listed as a 7 time WCW Champion. Ah apparently they’re including the Bash at the Beach title here. Vince doing Hogan’s air guitar is rather funny.

After a break, Flair comes out to take RVD who brings the IC Title with him.

Vince is mad about losing the IC Title so Angle suggests a match between him and RVD for the title tonight so Angle can bring it Smackdown.

Rock is walking around backstage and Hogan comes up to him. The bald one suggests a handicap match vs. the NWO. Well what kind of a huge face would Rock be if he said no?

Vince is here to make his next pick (5th overall if you’re keeping track) and he picks Billy and Chuck who are the tag champions.

Tough Enough 2 commercial. I had my first kiss while that show was going on in the background.

Somehow the boot of the week is a chair shot. No one accused WWE of making sense all the time.

NWO vs. Hulk Hogan/The Rock

This is Nash’s first match in the company I think since his return. Ah scratch that as I’m wrong actually. It was one of his first though. Hogan and X-Pac start us off here which is a RIVETING match indeed. And Hogan throws him to the floor immediately in a nice power display. Hall comes in and fails also so we switch to Nash. Amazingly all Hogan seems to do is punch.

Hot tag to the Rock and we CRANK it up. We shift from an 80s style to a 90s style and it’s much more interesting. Cold tag to Hogan and the crowd just dies. Pac makes the save as it’s all breaking down. He breaks out the knunchucks and here comes Kane since he’s the guy taking care of the NWO and he clears house, giving the NWO the win.

Rating: D. Weak match but Rock was interesting. This wasn’t much at all and with five minutes how big of a match can it be? This is the last match on Raw for Hogan and Rock? This is the best they can do? That’s hardly a good sign. This was really rather weak all things considered.

Vince comes into Flair’s office to yell about various things. Flair takes Booker. Vince takes Edge. Flair takes Big Show. Vince takes Rikishi. They’re going that fast. So in other words: Nash, Hall, Waltman, Taker, Kane and Big Show vs. Benoit, Rock, Angle and Edge. Who do you think wins in the long run here? Keep in mind that the NWO guys would all be gone in the second week of July, this is looking one sided to say the least. Come to think of it, a year after this Rock and Edge were gone too. Help is on the way however, as between now and August WWE would debut guys named Lesnar, Orton, Cena, Batista and Mysterio. Like I said, this was a transitional period for the company. Oh and Shawn came back in the fall too.

Jeff Hardy vs. Billy Gunn

This is during the gay era for Billy and Chuck, culminating in a mind blowing ending when they were about to be married but the minister was Eric Bischoff with a prosthetic face on, pretending to be a senior citizen aged preacher. It legitimately got me. Another two minute match but Jeff getting a singles run was a new idea back then. Matt and Chuck fighting on the floor cause Jeff to miss the Swanton. Lita TOTALLY botches a rana on Rico but Jeff gets the pin on Billy anyway.

Rating: N/A. I’m really getting tired of these short matches. That botch was a sight though. Her legs didn’t even get close to around his head. Moving on.

Flair picks Bubba Ray Dudley so Vince takes D-Von. They actually were going to try to make Bubba a serious challenger, even giving him a world title shot on Raw and giving it time. D-Von became a preacher with a deacon named Batista. I think the latter was a bit more famous.

European Title: Rikishi vs. William Regal

As Regal is coming to the ring, some HUGE muscle guy comes in and beats the living tar out of Rikishi, hitting a spinebuster and a SICK fireman’s carry spinout facebuster. You may know the move as the F5 and the guy as the current UFC World Heavyweight Champion: Brock Lesnar. I told you this was a transitional period. No match obviously.

Jazz is evil in New York.

Vince tries to get Brock but it’s not his pick so Flair takes him. Great to see that D-Von pick working for Vince. Vince takes Mark Henry. I actually laugh when I think of the comparison between those two. Flair takes the European William Regal so Vince takes Maven, the Hardcore Champion. Flair takes Lita. Those are the last two picks. Let’s stop for a minute here and go pick for pick and look at these selections with Vince’s coming first.

#1: Rock vs. Undertaker. That’s a tossup I guess as Rock was bigger at the time but Taker is better long term.
#2: Kurt Angle vs. NWO. Do I even need to make fun of this one?
#3: Chris Benoit vs. Kane. Vince wins this based on in ring work alone.
#4: Hulk Hogan vs. Rob Van Dam. Have to go Vince here again as RVD was never really that important in WWE. Close one though given the money Hogan probably commanded.
#5: Billy and Chuck vs. Booker T. Comedy team vs. future world champion. Hmm I wonder.
#6: Edge vs. Big Show. Vince gets another one.
#7: Rikishi vs. Bubba Ray Dudley. Everyone loses.
#8: D-Von Dudley vs. Brock Lesnar. Actually you could make a case for Vince winning here as like I said Batista debuted shortly after this as D-Von’s enforcer. On paper though it’s really Flair in a landslide as Brock was a once in a lifetime find.
#9: Mark Henry vs. William Regal. Flair wins again.
#10: Maven vs. Lita. Eyebrows Huffman vs. a great rack. Flair finishes strong.

Vince has the better core and I think wins pretty easily here, especially since Brock was on Smackdown within 8 months. Also Raw wound up being boring as HECK soon after this.

Vince makes fun of Flair picking Lita because it’s going to be awful and a cesspool.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Kurt Angle

Angle grabs a German immediately. DAng Angle was good back then. RVD makes a short comeback to some very solid cheers. He sets for the Five Star but Angle hits the floor. And then Angle pulls the referee in front of the dropkick for the DQ. Edge comes down for the save.

Rating: N/A. Dude we can’t have these two get TV time? Are you kidding me? Where is the time going in this show considering how fast they’re making picks?

Stephanie says she’s going to win the title.

Undisputed Title: Stephanie McMahon vs. HHH vs. Chris Jericho

This is a triple threat and if Stephanie is pinned she’s out of the company. Jericho sends HHH to the floor and Stephanie lays down for Jericho but HHH makes the save. HHH won the title 8 days before this mind you. Totally boring match as the two wrestlers have to be on pins and needles so Stephanie doesn’t get exposed as being NOT A WRESTLER.

Stephanie slaps Jericho for some reason and they argue. Jericho goes for the Walls as this match needs to end. We know HHH isn’t losing so quit teasing us about it. HHH knocks Jericho down and stalks Stephanie. Pedigree is set up but Jericho hits a dropkick to stop it. Jericho grabs a title and a chair and through some odd stuff both HHH and Jericho get belt shots. Stephanie comes in and covers Jericho for two. She does this weird thing of lifting her leg on covers.

HHH gets caught in the Walls but Stephanie jumps on Jericho’s back. Pedigree gets two on Jericho and Stephanie makes the save. Spinebuster ends her and she’s gone….for four months until she became Smackdown’s GM. Security literally drags her away.

Rating: D-. Just horrible stuff here as HHH and Jericho more or less did nothing while this was about Stephanie all over again. What a shock right? She was the focus of just about everything for a good while and this would only get worse in 03/04 when Smackdown was ALL about her and Vince and their stupid feud for power. This was a glorified house show main event though and was really quite stupid.

Overall Rating: D-. Just a bad show overall with the main event being the only thing to break 8 minutes. The picks are odd at best and stupid at worst with nothing really making that much sense at all. This was a bad show and the whole thing would just get worse as the year went on with Raw becoming the HHH show and no one really paying attention to how awesome Smackdown was. Oh and Shawn would come back and be instantly pushed to the top of the roster because he’s Shawn and a 4 year layoff is easy to come back from right? Bad show but huge for historical purposes.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

 

No Way Out 2002
Date: February 17, 2002
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 15,291
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This show is important for one reason: the NWO. Flair had bought half of the company and Vince hated it so he decided to poison his own company by way of the NWO. Tonight is their debut but no one is really sure where they’re going to do it at. The main event is Austin vs. Jericho for the title. Other than that we have Rock vs. Taker and Angle vs. HHH with Stephanie as referee with the winner getting the shot at Mania. Other than that (which is a lot already) there isn’t much. Let’s get to it.

Surprisingly enough we open with the NWO. I wouldn’t have bet on them starting the show but this works. At least they’re not making us wait. The set has the big semi-truck look to it which would become a part of the Rock vs. Hogan feud in one of the dumbest segments I can ever remember. We’ll get to that someday.

In this case the NWO is just the three original members. Hall of course looks like a freaking idiot as he tends to do. Nash opens us up and says they have a ton of heat with the boys. Naturally we use some slightly insider terms with these guys. We get the innocent act from them as they say there’s nothing wrong with them and they’re here to make it better. This of course takes about 5 minutes to get through.

Hey Yo gets a big old reaction. Hall throws out the term marks to continue shoving the whole we’re insiders thing down our throats. Hogan goes last and says the same thing for the most part. He’s kind of half booed and cheered, allegedly being choked up. They thank Vince, who even when he brought them in called them poison. It’s rather amusing given how he and Vince are today. The whole opening segment took ten minutes which is rather surprising to me.

And now, nearly 15 minutes into the show we start the wrestling.

Tag Team Turmoil

The idea here is you have six total teams. Two randomly selected teams start us off and have a match. The winners stay alive and face the next randomly selected team. Last team standing wins and gets a tag title shot at Mania. The match wound up being a fatal fourway with three of these teams so it’s not like it mattered anyway. Scotty 2 Hotty/Albert vs. Christian/Lance Storm start us off with Storm and Scotty starting us off.

We go REALLY old school to get a giant swing from Albert. The faces take over here on the Unamericans. Scotty goes to the floor as no one has a counter for Albert. Christian, somehow the only one of these that means anything anymore, takes the Worm. Ok no he doesn’t as Storm tries to kick him in the face. The distraction results in an Unprettier (Killswitch to you modern fans) to end him.

Hardys are next. It’s kind of a mess here as we have a bunch of matches all in a row which is a fun idea but at the same time it’s a bit hard to keep track of the whole thing or review it either. The announcers argue the NWO issue which at least makes sense here as this match isn’t ending for another four falls. I usually hate that but Ross and Lawler tend to be much better about staying on topic.

Pretty much a mess of a match here that isn’t bad or anything. After about four minutes the standard double move from the Hardys take out the Canadians. Nothing great here but I’ve seen worse as usual.

Enter the Dudleys and the GORGEOUS Stacy. Her in the camo shorts and tied off top was absolutely stunning. Jeff and Bubba start the usual good match between these two teams as Bubba locks in an ankle lock of all things on Jeff. Edge and Christian were almost done as a big time team at this point so they were waiting on various teams such as Billy and Chuck to take over etc.

The Hardys try a combination legsweep/side effect which works ok at best. Twist of Fate attempt on Bubba but Stacy comes in, only to get speared down by Lita. I’ll give Lita this: she threw PUNCHES instead of those weak spanks or hair pulls you see more often than not. SWEET Litacanrana to Bubba. Huge dive over the top by Jeff as we crank it WAY up. Matt rolls up D-Von to end this way too early. I’d love to see these guys go at it some more, which is why this era was awesome for tag wrestling.

3D to Jeff on the floor as Billy and Chuck come out. This is about 4 months before the wedding which was one of the best shocks I’ve ever seen. Matt has to fight on his own and gets taken down by a superkick that almost connected and a Fameasser ends him.

The APA is the last team and I think I know who wins here. The boys in red beat up the APA for awhile before pure power takes over. How weird is it to think that Bradshaw was about two years away from a huge world title reign? This slows WAY down as we go from Hardys vs. Dudleys to this. Billy and Chuck didn’t really know what they were doing yet despite being long time tag wrestlers.

Fameasser is caught in a SICK spinebuster from Farooq. I love that move. Semi-hot tag to Bradshaw who cleans a few rooms. HUGE clothesline to Billy ends him to give the APA the win. Billy and Chuck would get the belts by Mania and it would be these two plus the previous two teams in one big mess of a match that wound up sucking to the shock of no one.

Rating: C+. Kind of a mess but not bad. The issues with these matches tended to be having too many quick falls, but here they protected that with the 3D on the floor which makes the double pin make sense. That’s a nice perk on it and the match worked pretty well. Having a 15 minute match helps this too as it’s usually like 9 minutes, which is far too short. This was fine though and kind of fun to watch.

Ad for Mania, which of course they make seem like a religious experience. Mania 17 got close I guess. We even get a Savage clip in there.

Ric Flair is here with the blonde highlighted Cole who you want to punch even harder than you do today. Taker shows up to whine at Flair. They would have a bad Mania match out of this.

Rob Van Dam vs. Goldust

No title or anything here, even though RVD was on the poster. Goldie had a crush on RVD or something. His finishing move is a neckbreaker so you can tell how much of a chance he has here. We get a thinly veiled reference to Dusty as they point out how weird it is to have Goldust be Dusty’s son. BIG reaction for RVD as we’re close to his hometown to a degree. Goldie jumps him during his spinning intro and it’s on early.

It’s kind of weird seeing Goldust as a heel but you’re getting it here. Van Dam gets on a small roll so the Oscar based guy runs away. He tries to leave in true heel fashion but comes back so Lawler can make movie jokes. We get American Pie references and JR won’t say if he saw it or not. Spinning leg to the back of Goldust when he’s on the railing. A flying elbow off the apron misses Van Dam but who cares I guess?

Flying back to the face gets two. In kind of a cool move Van Dam is on the top and gets punched. Goldust then pulls him back so that Van Dam’s back is driven into the top of the post and then pulled down on. Painful looking move at least. This is a rather boring match as for some reason they’re giving RVD a match here for nothing other than to build him up, but of all people they feed Goldust to him? Is this really the best idea?

A chinlock is applied to further deinterest this match. Lawler makes more and more dump jokes here to fill in time. RVD hammers the mat which isn’t tapping for reasons of it not being the finish I guess. If you can’t tell this is rather boring. Backslide gets two for RVD. Jumping kick to the face gets two for RVD as you can feel the ending coming soon. Rolling Thunder gets two.

Five Star misses and RVD takes a DDT. Goldust does an interpretive dance to signal the neckbreaker….which is now the reverse suplex into the slam which has been his more well known finisher by the same name (Curtain Call). Stepover spinwheel kick sets up the Five Star to end this boring match.

Rating: D. This got 12 minutes on a PPV? Did RVD smoke a bit with the writers beforehand? This wasn’t anything more than a long Raw match would be and for some reason it was the second match on a PPV. Just a total WTF here as there was no apparent reason for this but they gave it time anyway. RVD gets wasted here despite having the spot on the poster. Pointless match.

Ad for the British PPV Rebellion, which I think we’ve done but if not I might do a marathon to get through them.

Austin runs into the NWO, having one of his few on screen appearances with Hogan ever. They all talk about how great Austin is and have a present for him, a six pack of beer, which Austin throws away. It’s kind of weird for some reason seeing the other three guys being taller than he is for some reason. As pointless as this seemed to be, seeing Austin and Hogan on screen is to say the least special.

Tag Titles: Booker T/Test vs. Spike Dudley/Tazz

The big guys are the challengers here. There are only one set of belts at this point so for some reason they decided that these two are the best choice for the titles. That’s just bizarre but whatever. Their combined weight is 398lbs. That’s just amusing. Test and Tazz fight as do the others. Test and Booker were champions back in the Alliance days I believe. Spike comes in with a missile dropkick off the top to take care of Test.

We get kind of a Hart Attack from the challengers but with a side kick instead. Tazz of course stands there and watches it happen instead of making a save or even attempting a save. Why save your tiny partner I guess? Spike as usual takes a beating which is what he is made for it seems. Axe Kick kills him pretty much and we get a spinarooni.

VERY weak hot tag to Taz who puts Booker on the floor. Test goes for a cover but yells at the referee when it’s two and walks into the Tazmission for the tap out. For the life of me I don’t get the point in putting the titles on these guys and then keeping them with these two for so long. A more traditional team would win them soon afterwards with Billy and Chuck.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak Raw level match here that didn’t have much at all going for it. Again Taz and Spike were nice for awhile but in matches like this it was just stupid. I mean really, beating Booker and Test clean? Would anyone buy that at all? I certainly didn’t and thankfully they would lose the belts soon after this.

Rock rants about Taker tombstoning him on a limo a few weeks back. It turns into a rant about respect with Rock in fine form. Oddly enough Coach can almost look him in the eye.

Mania is in four weeks.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

This is brass knuckles on a pole. Edge was on the verge of one of the hottest streaks I can remember in a long time. Allegedly he was going to jump to Raw at Survivor Series and win the first Elimination Chamber but Shawn and HHH decided they were the right choices to steal the show there. He would have won it in 2003 but he hurt his neck and never really has been the same.

They fight in the aisle to start as Edge goes for the pole early. Before you make your Russo jokes, he actually did come back around this time as an advisor. Second rope dropkick by Edge to take Regal down again. Regal takes over with some cheating as the fans chant USA. Fortunately for my sanity we shift to REGAL SUCKS. Butterfly powerbomb on the floor and Edge is in big trouble.

Regal Stretch goes on and Edge is bleeding from the nose. Another powerbomb in the ring and it’s all Regal at this point. Edge gets a small break but both men hit the floor. Kind of a slow match so far as neither can really get a continued advantage but it’s not horrible. Regal goes for the knuckles but Edge pulls him down in a belly to back suplex. Regal pulled them down with him though and the Canadian gets them. Regal has his OWN knucks though and he pops Edge with them to end it.

Rating: D+. It’s ok I guess but this just kind of dragged for awhile. Regal would drop the belt to RVD at Mania so it’s not like this was part of a long title reign for him. Edge losing is a bit stupid given how hot he was but if they wanted to go with RVD then that’s understandable. Regal never really clicked as a major threat but this was fine for what it was, which isn’t much I guess.

Don’t Try This At Home.

Lillian suggests Angle has Stephanie in his corner which he denies. He also says he didn’t get his medals out of a box of Lucky Charms. The WHAT chants are really annoying here.

We recap Rock vs. Taker which started when Rock made fun of him for being eliminated by Maven in the Rumble. Taker said Rock didn’t respect him which was his big thing at this point. Rock cost him the Hardcore Title to Maven on Smackdown, so Taker gave him a Tombstone on a limo.

The Undertaker vs. The Rock

Rock sprints to the ring and we’re on fast. Taker wins a slugout and takes over. I’m not sure if these two have ever had a truly good match but maybe they’ll surprise me here. We hit the chinlock very early which is kind of surprising. We are LIVE which is a box that pops up for no apparent reason. Big boot misses and Rock takes over.

This is really rather boring so far. We hit the floor for the standard brawling and Rock gets crotched on the railing. They head to the back kind of, fighting through an exit door of some kind. I’m not sure why but I just cannot get into this match. It’s not working for me at all as they’re going very slowly with almost nothing but punches and strikes. Just as I say that we hit a bearhug by Taker.

I’ve never liked the spot where on the third drop the face’s arm drops and then snaps back up. It fell, meaning that should be a submission. Rock comes back with, of course, punches. A DDT and spinebuster set up the elbow attempt which is the only overly long spot that I actually like. It doesn’t hit but Rock low blows Taker to keep the advantage. Ah there’s the chokeslam.

That only gets two so Taker goes and sits on his motorcycle. And there goes the referee, allowing Taker to pull out the pipe he hit Rock with a few weeks ago. Flair comes out for the save which ticks Taker off, prompting him to just kick Flair in the face, which is rapidly becoming one of my favorite moves/responses in wrestling.

Sharpshooter goes on and here’s Vince for no apparent reason other than Flair hates Taker so Vince likes him I guess. Rock goes after him, allowing Taker to set for the Tombstone. Flair hits him in the head with the pipe which doesn’t put him down, but the Rock Bottom does. Well that makes sense, as well as ends the match.

Rating: D. I know that’s low but this just wasn’t very good. With 85% or so being punches and the WAY overbooked ending, this just never got going at all. It’s kind of a mess, feeling like it had a long, as in over ten minutes, worth of setup before we got to the meat of the match. The problem is the meat of the match wasn’t working at all either, making the whole thing just not very good at all.

Perfect is at WWF New York, where he appears a bit intoxicated. Ring rat jokes follow.

We recap Angle vs. HHH which never really got a big blowoff in 2000. HHH threw Angle out to end the Rumble so Angle complained about it. What exactly does it mean to go Olympic on someone? Stephanie and HHH were “divorcing” at the time, but Stephanie said she was pregnant. Since this is wrestling though, it was a fake. They were going to renew their wedding vows but HHH found out earlier. Wasn’t this supposed to be about Angle too? Stephanie is referee tonight.

Kurt Angle vs. HHH

Ok so at least we get Stephanie in a leather halter top for a referee shirt and TINY leather shorts. Yep she’s gorgeous. Angle gets a LOUD You Suck chant. Allegedly Stephanie and Angle are sleeping together. Stephanie keeps trying to get quick counts on HHH. This is for the shot at Mania if I didn’t mention that. We hear about how HHH has no chance, but if you believe he’s not going to Mania you’re an idiot.

Belly to back suplex to HHH but since he didn’t spin slightly it’s not an Angle Slam. Angle goes for a big clothesline but takes Stephanie’s head off instead, sending her to the floor. Tim White comes down, making Stephanie more or less pointless. Granted seeing her in clothes liked that made the match already. Couple of sweet belly to belly suplexes with Angle in control.

We get a sleeper and the fans chant boring which I can’t say I disagree with. Angle gets a little ticked off which makes him a bit more awesome. Ten punches in the corner but HHH counters with a powerbomb of all things. We hit the floor with Angle running away. And then Angle just hits the referee from behind and even with HHH in front of him, that’s not a DQ. Low blow puts HHH down again and there’s the Angle Slam. Stephanie bounces back to ringside and gets two.

Ankle lock is kicked off and down goes Stephanie again. DDT hits Angle but there’s no referee. Does everything have to be overbooked tonight? Angle goes for a chair shot but HHH gets a nice Pedigree. Referee comes back but Stephanie drops an elbow on him and kicks him low. End this please. Two chair shots and an Angle Slam….sends Angle to Mania??? Ah apparently there was a rematch the next night with Stephanie barred from ringside where HHH won, making this rather pointless but whatever.

Rating: D+. It’s better than the last match but not by much. This wasn’t really very good as the overbooking completely took me out of things. It’s not a horrible match but the whole Stephanie aspect just hurt it a lot. Angle and HHH never really clicked as main event guys in their matches against each other and this was no exception. Just not a very good match, but more due to the booking than the people involved.

Angle speeds away for no apparent reason.

Same Mania ad as earlier.

The NWO comes in to be all nice to the Rock and Hogan asks for a picture for his son. Rock of course out talks all of them and cuts one of his promos about Diesel and Ramon. You can’t say he’s not confident here. The Rock vs. Hogan moment was I think the next night.

No real story to Austin vs. Jericho. Austin beat Angle to get the shot and wants the belt. A standard back and forth attack sequence ensued.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. Chris Jericho

They have a stare down and flip each other off. Feeling out process to start as Jericho runs. As George Foreman said though, you can’t run forever. Jericho is caught and Austin lays waste to him in the corner. In a nice spot Jericho hooks the ropes to avoid a clothesline so Austin just keeps his arm out and runs forward to send him to the floor. Pretty much a worthless opening five minutes.

We head up to the stage or entrance area in this case. Ross says there can’t be count outs because the referee isn’t in the ring. Why can’t they be? Does the referee lose his refereeing powers outside of the ring? Back in the ring now and you can kind of tell that no one really believes the title is changing here. Austin is just not the huge star he was a year ago, although you could say that about the whole company and you would be right.

A low blow allows Jericho to take over and Austin goes to the floor. Ross’ earlier comment is negated as Jericho has to slide into the ring to break the count while the referee is on the floor with them. Ross follows that line up by saying this might be the most important match in Austin’s career. Austin gets a powerslam in the ring as NOTHING of note is going on here. Walls go on as it’s just a Boston Crab here due to neck injuries.

Jericho goes to get a belt but he gets knocked into the referee. This means nothing as he pops back up to count two for Austin. Breakdown is the counter to the Stunner into the belt for another two into a nice pop. Jericho taps to the Walls but, say it with me, no ref. Stunner ends him again and here’s the NWO for the beatdown and Jericho gets the pin for the easy retaining.

Rating: D+. Boring match overall but it had some decent spots. The NWO running in was kind of pointless but it set up the odd choice of Austin vs. Hall at Mania. This wasn’t horrible, but it REALLY needed to be about 5-8 minutes shorter. 20+ minutes of this to just set up the NWO run-in just didn’t do it for me. Could have been worse, but Austin had lost a step by this point and it was clearly starting to show.

More beating down follows and Austin winds up getting spraypainted.

Overall Rating: F+. This was just a bad show overall. I’m not entirely sure how to rate this as it certainly didn’t feel as bad as the ratings I gave it, but this was still pretty bad. With guys like Benoit and Eddie gone at the moment there just wasn’t a lot of talent to go around in the upper midcard spots. The three main matches all more or less sucked due to overbooking and the undercard wasn’t much better.

Just a total mess of a show where nothing of note happened other than a more or less worthless NWO debut. This era wasn’t kind to the company and this show proves that. I mean really, RVD vs. Goldust on PPV? Just a more or less terrible show and definitely not worth seeing.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 28, 2002
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 9,034
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re inching closer to No Way Out and I don’t think we have any matches announced for it yet. Granted it’s not like it matters as that’s just a stop before we get to HHH’s moment at Wrestlemania which I’m sure everyone is thrilled about. The main event tonight is Austin vs. Angle which sounds like a #1 contenders match to me. Oh and in case you were wondering what Vince’s announcement was, keep reading. Let’s get to it.

Kane vs. Big Show

We immediately open with a match and Big Show runs him over quickly. A clothesline puts Kane down again and an elbow drop gets two. Kane fights up and wins a brief slugout, only to get kicked in the face. That’s fine by Kane as he pops up and slams Show, only to go up and jump into the chokeslam for two. Show is STUNNED so he tries another chokeslam but Kane hits his version first for the fast pin. Not horrible actually.

Flair is in the office when the APA comes in. They yell about the people Vince is bringing in (I’m saving the reveal for later) and say these people are poison. Bradshaw wants a fight right now but the guys haven’t debuted yet.

Goldust quotes the Usual Suspects and talks about presumably Rock some more.

We get another clip from the Rumble of Maven eliminating Undertaker and the beating that followed. Since Maven was never eliminated from the Rumble, Maven gets a world title match tonight.

Jericho says he granted Maven the title match tonight because he’s a fighting champion. However, why are the people talking about Maven when Jericho got the biggest win of his career at the same Rumble? Tonight Jericho is going to watch Angle and Austin beat each other up and then at No Way Out, he’ll pick up the pieces.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal

Regal is defending. Van Dam jumps Regal during the brass knuckles search and the fans go NUTS. Rob rams him into the steps before we head inside for the first time. There’s the stepover kick for two on Regal followed by the standing moonsault for the same. Not that it matters are Regal kicks Rob low for the LAME DQ.

Regal shoves the referee down and leaves with his belt. Rob goes after him though and pounds away but cue the Dudleys to beat down Van Dam. Edge makes the save for no apparent reason. I smell a tag match here. Regal comes back in and lays out Edge with the knuckles.

Stephanie comes in to yell at Flair for making HHH vs. Booker later tonight. Apparently it was Papa McMahon that made the match, not Flair. Ok then.

Lance Storm/Christian vs. Godfather/Diamond Dallas Page

Apparently Page is a client of Godfather’s escort service. Godfather and Storm start things off and a big back elbow puts Lance down. Christian pulls the rope down to stop Godfather and send him to the floor. Back inside a Storm dropkick gets two and Christian comes in to stomp away for a bit. A double Canadian suplex gets two and it’s back to Storm for a legdrop for two. Christian gets another two count but starts having a fit. Not hot tag brings in DDP who cleans part of the house. Christian goes up but gets crotched, allowing Godfather to hit the running splash, followed by a Diamond Cutter to Storm for the pin.

Rating: D. This came and went and was nothing of note. Godfather didn’t fit at all in the new WWF and it was very clear in a hurry. Page didn’t work in WWE either as there was no connection with the fans. Page grew up in WCW before the fans’ eyes, but here he’s a guy who used to be a big deal in WCW and that’s it. That isn’t going to work and never has before.

Vince is here and is almost in a trance. The limo was late to the show so the driver apologizes, but Vince just taps him on the arm and walks away. That’s not normal McMahon behavior to put it mildly.

Here’s Flair as we’re somehow in Flair Country again this week. He talks about beating Vince at the Rumble a few weeks ago, which led to Vince having a meltdown on Smackdown. The show saw Vince sitting in a chair for the entire show, talking about how he was going to destroy his own creation. At the end of the night, Vince spun around, revealing the letters N.W.O. on the back of his chair.

That’s who people have been worried about all night long and that’s who Flair wants to stop from coming. Therefore, Flair is going to appeal to Vince’s pride by showing a video he’s had made: The History of the WWF. Usually I don’t show videos in my reviews, but I can’t describe how good this is, as it covers EVERYTHING of note in company history. Check this out.

Flair asks Vince to come out and face him and here’s the (half) boss. Ric goes on a rant and a half about how Vince must be out of his mind to think of bringing those guys here. If Vince wants to beat up Flair, go right ahead if that keeps those guys out. If ANYONE in that video means anything to Vince, he shouldn’t do it.

Vince grabs the mic and says he wants 100% control of his company and he wants Flair out. If Flair sells Vince his stock back at the price Flair paid for it, no NWO. Vince gives him a few days to think about it, but if Flair says no then the poison of the NWO enters the WWF and destroys the company. Vince says that if his company is going down, everyone is going with him but he will be the last one to survive. AWESOME segment here and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I want to see more of this stuff.

Nidia is at WWF New York and is excited about Maven’s title shot.

WWF World Title: Maven vs. Chris Jericho

Maven finally has some trunks. Jericho turns his back on Maven to start but gets jumped for his efforts. A decent dropkick gets two for the rookie and Jericho is STUNNED. They head to the floor where Maven gets his chest lit up by chops. Back inside and Jericho knocks him down before taking off a buckle pad. Maven escapes the Walls and launches Jericho into the exposed buckle for a VERY hot two. There’s a small package for the same and the fans are losing their minds here. Not that it matters though as the Walls are put on and Maven wisely taps out.

Rating: C+. Considering Maven debuted less than a year ago with NO seasoning, this was pretty awesome stuff. Those near falls were really close and the fans were totally into it. The one perk of having such a weak champion is that people buy into the idea that anyone can beat him, even someone like Maven. Not horrible by any account.

Post match heeeeeeeeere’s Taker for the big beatdown. He beats on Maven in the Tree of Woe and does the throat crush with a chair. Jericho is lounging back on commentary during the beating.

Taker threatens to make Coach’s teeth into a necklace if he says the name Maven in Taker’s presence again. The Dead Man goes on a rant about Maven and says that Maven is going to keep paying the price until it’s decided that the bill is paid up. As for Rock, it’s none of his business who eliminated Undertaker. Taker says he doesn’t sing and dance, and he won’t be disrespected by Rock.

Jazz finds Billy and Chuck “stretching”. Apparently groin stretches are next so Jazz leaves.

Stephanie yells about HHH’s match but HHH doesn’t seem to care who made the match with Booker. Oh and why did HHH take off his wedding ring for a match? HHH: “Because I’m wrestling.” Silly question, easy answer.

Trish Stratus/APA vs. Jazz/Billy and Chuck

The girls start and Jazz hits a big clothesline to take over. A dropkick sends Jazz out to the floor but she comes right back with a double chickenwing lift. Off to Chuck who shoves Trish down before it’s off to Bradshaw for a whooping. Chuck pounds away in the corner but Bradshaw shrugs it off and brings in Faarooq. A spinebuster puts Chuck down and everything breaks down. Trish tries a rana on Chuck but gets powerbombed down for two. Chuck made sure to not go chest to chest on her in a funny bit.

Rating: D. This went nowhere at all other than a funny comedy spot at the end. The tag division was dead at this point and I honestly can’t think of who the champions are here. Oh wait it’s a team that’s been together for all of six weeks and who won’t team together again after losing the titles. Nothing to see here.

Angle tells the fans WHAT: he’s going to No Way Out.

Booker T vs. HHH

They fight over a top wristlock to start and HHH takes him down to he mat where he can pound away. Now to mix it up, HHH pounds away in the corner, only to get dropped face first onto the buckle. Booker misses a spin kick and charges into a spinebuster to put both guys down. The jumping knee to the face staggers Booker and a neckbreaker gets two.

We head to the floor and HHH nails him with a clothesline before sending him back into the ring. Here’s Christian of all people to lay out HHH to give Booker a two count. There’s a facebuster to put Booker back down as Stephanie runs out to slap Christian in the face. HHH saves his wife but Booker rams them together, allowing him to roll up the Game and use a handful of trunks for the surprise pin.

Rating: D+. It’s pretty clear that new HHH isn’t nearly as good as the old one was. This was almost all punching and signature stuff before the screwy ending. Apparently Christian and HHH had some kind of interaction on Smackdown which is fine for a reason for the interference here. HHH would take a LONG time to get back into form.

HHH went OFF on Stephanie during the break and threw her out of the locker room.

Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin

Winner gets the title shot at No Way Out. As is his custom, Austin starts pounding away on the floor before hitting a powerslam for two in the ring. There’s the Thesz Press and Angle is in trouble. Scratch that as Angle comes right back with a belly to belly overhead suplex for two. A hard whip sends Austin into the corner but he comes back with that whip spinebuster of his for a delayed two.

Angle comes back by rolling Germans but Austin comes back by sitting him on the top and chopping away. A top rope superplex takes Angle down for two and they head to the floor. Back in and a low blow puts Austin down. Angle slides in a chair but Austin intercepts it, only to hold his cool in a surprising turn of events.

Steve loads up the Stunner but gets shoved into the referee. Angle lays him out with the chair but only gets two when the referee is back up. There’s the ankle lock but Austin finally grabs the rope. The Angle Slam gets two as Austin gets his foot on the rope but Kurt of course things he won. The referee tells him what happened but he walks into a Stunner to send Austin to No Way Out.

Rating: B. Austin and Angle were guys that had great chemistry together and they showed it again here. As I’ve said before, Austin’s in ring abilities are often forgotten, which is a shame because he’s an excellent performer inside the ring. This worked very well and it made you believe Jericho was in real trouble when we get to the PPV.

Post match Jericho charges in but gets a Stunner of his own.

Overall Rating: B. This is a show where what was weak was quite weak but what was good was OUTSTANDING. The history video is as good as you will ever see and I’d love to see an updated one for the modern era. Either way, this is pretty easily the show of the year so far with some excellent stuff and mostly short bad stuff. That’s a great help to the show and it worked quite well.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 21, 2002
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Attendance: 9,420
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with the Rumble now and the road is pointing to HHH vs. Chris Jericho at the Rumble. Other than that….there’s not much going on here. Basically it’s all about HHH for the next seven or eight weeks, but now we need to bring in Stephanie as well because what would Monday Night Raw be without her? Let’s get to it.

We open with the Martin Luther King Day video. What is Vince’s obsession with that holiday? Not that I’m complaining but he never misses that thing.

We recap the winners of the Rumbles over the years before getting to HHH’s win last night.

Rob Van Dam/Tazz/Spike Dudley vs. Booker T/Dudley Boys

Booker eliminated RVD last night to set this up. Spike is in a neck brace. Booker and RVD start things off by trading some forearms. Booker takes him down but stupidly tries to get into a kicking battle with Rob freaking Van Dam. Why in the world would you think that was a good idea? A dropkick and standing moonsault get two for Rob and it’s off to Tazz. Some Dudley interference lets Booker take over before it’s off to D-Von.

The jumping back elbow puts Tazz down and there’s a tag to Bubba who knocks Spike off the apron. There’s the ax kick from Booker but instead of the Spinarooni it’s back to D-Von for more pounding in the corner. A legdrop gets two on Tazz and D-Von throws him to the floor. After some cheating by Bubba we head back inside where Tazz hits a quick suplex on D-Von to put both guys down.

The hot tag brings in RVD and let the rolls and flips begin. Rob cleans house but gets caught in the reverse 3D for two. Everything breaks down and everyone hits something, including a 3D to Tazz. As Bubba is getting up though, Van Dam hits him with the Five Star for the surprise pin.

Rating: C. This was a nice little tag match and the surprise ending made it that much better. I’m still a big fan of combining feuds like this as it allows them to save time while giving us some fresh matchups at the same time. This lets both feuds continue as a combination of both were involved in the fall. Decent stuff here.

It’s Jericho time as he gets to gloat over keeping the title last night over the Rock. Jericho talks about how everyone knew Rock was going to win but he shocked the world. This is the kind of promo that Punk could have had after this year’s Rumble but they went with the logical booking instead, which was probably the right move. Jericho demands respect and appreciation for his accomplishments, which are indeed pretty awesome. He wants a standing ovation but here’s HHH instead.

The Game gives Jericho some applause and says Jericho has never beaten HHH. He talks about going to Wrestlemania to face Jericho, assuming Jericho keeps the title. In two months, Jericho has to be larger than life, because that’s what it’s going to take to face HHH at Wrestlemania. At Wrestlemania, it will be time for Jericho to play the Game.

This brings out Kurt Angle for his second interruption of HHH in three weeks. He yells at HHH for jumping him from behind to eliminate him in the Rumble last night. The brawl is on but Jericho hits HHH with the belt to stop it short. Jericho puts him in the Walls but Rock comes out to make the save.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Regal won the title last night with the aide of brass knuckles. Edge jumps him on the floor while the referee looks everywhere for the brass knucks. Regal is sent over the barricade and suplexed right back to ringside as Edge is on fire early on. There’s the bell as Edge comes in with a missile dropkick for two. A belly to back suplex gets two more and Regal bails to the outside.

They head to the floor for a bit and the champion sends him shoulder first into the post to take over. Regal fires off some knees tot he shoulder like a good villain before hooking a chinlock. That goes nowhere so the Canadian fights up and hits a cross body and a spinwheel kick to drop Willy. The Edge-O-Matic gets two so Edge goes up, allowing Regal to pull out the knuckles. Edge knocks them away though and decks Regal with the for….two as Patrick sees the knuckles and calls for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t awful but it didn’t do much for me. Regal was only a short term champion anyway as he would lose the belt at Mania in the opening match. Edge would of course have the logical feud from here: fighting Booker T over a Japanese shampoo commercial. Don’t you see the connection?

Edge beats up some referees post match.

Post break Edge is taken out of the arena.

Kane and Big Show talk for a bit about Kane eliminating him from the Rumble last night. Show leaves and Billy and Chuck come in (instead of out). They offer Kane a spot on the team complete with his own headband. A two on one beatdown ensues when he says no. Ok then.

Mr. Perfect and Debra chat about Austin. This also goes nowhere.

Here’s Flair to liven things up a bit. He says we’re in Flair Country tonight and thanks the fans for supporting him for 25 years. In that time he left his family behind because he was blinded by ambition to be the best. The only thing he knew about his children was that he was there when they were born. He couldn’t be at their ball games or recitals because he had to be wrestling around the world. Flair doesn’t regret a bit of it because the fans became his family. Lawler: “Good to see he’s got his priorities in order.”

In recent years though, Flair has wanted to become a better father who his kids can look up to. That’s why when Vince started to screw with him and his family, Flair had to change his catchphrase to “to be the man, you’ve got to beat Vince McMahon.” Last night, Vince took a camera from Flair’s kids’ hands and took pictures of Flair’s bloody face. Then Flair’s daughter got the camera back and took a shot of Vince’s bloody face. We see the picture and WOW Vince’s eyes looked insane.

Anyway here’s a bandaged Vince to stare down Ric. Flair takes his jacket off but Vince leaves his on. He says people think he lost at the Rumble, but apparently Flair lost too. Vince says that after last night, Flair is going to do something bad. Something so bad that even Vince might regret it. Flair is going to see what it is and that’s it. That announcement would come on Smackdown.

Val Venis vs. Mr. Perfect

Both guys returned at the Rumble last night. Val does the Rick Rude thing, although instead of getting a kiss, she gets to remove his towel. He doesn’t even want to know her name so they don’t get too attached. Val kisses her anyway. Perfect takes him into the corner for some hard chops but Val comes back with some knees to the ribs. A clothesline puts Val down…and here’s Austin. He BLASTS Perfect in the head with a chair, presumably for something from the Rumble last night. The match is thrown out.

Val gets in Austin’s face and gets the Stunner he deserves. Austin has a story for us tonight: it’s about a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer who barely kept his family fed. Austin goes through the entire theme song (get some culture if you don’t know what I’m talking about) but says that’s not the story he’s here to tell us. Instead he wants to talk about Steve Austin going to the Royal Rumble.

He ate a bunch of Mexican food and drank a lot of alcohol but last night he was hoodwinked, bamboozled and flabbergasted by two guys from behind. He’s entering the 2003 Royal Rumble right now and is going to Wrestlemania this year to beat someone up. Austin gets into nearly a sermon, talking about how he’s going to bloody and torture someone at Wrestlemania. The direction for this seemed to be “Austin, go fill up five minutes because we have no idea what to do tonight.”

Big Show/Kane vs. Billy and Chuck

Big Show is a surprise partner and the brawl starts on the ramp. Kane gets Billy in the ring and launches fire from the posts. Chuck gets kicked in the face and it’s off to Big Show as he and Chuck are legal. Billy is pulled in as well as Show is beating up everything in sight. Kane goes up top but Show accidentally knocks him to the floor. Chuck takes Big Show’s leg out and the Fameasser is enough for the pin. Next.

HHH yells at Rock for saving him earlier, which makes Rock ask a very good question: why is HHH so mad all the time when he’s going to Wrestlemania? Rock recommends some ice cream and a ham and cheese sammich. Oh and he wasn’t saving HHH earlier. It was just a preview for Angle and Jericho.

We get a clip of Maven eliminating Undertaker in a legit shocking moment last night.

The APA is at WWF New York.

The newly legit Godfather is here, now owning an escort service instead of being a pimp. He says he’s in the Yellow Pages now and this needs to end already. It’s time to dance but here’s Lance Storm to complain. Storm: “This business is as legitimate as a three legged donkey….which is illegitimate as a donkey of course has four legs.” Storm tries to clear out the ring but Godfather hits the running splash in the corner to dispatch the Canadian.

Goldust says there’s a star that burns brighter than he does and Goldie is coming for him.

Stephanie yells at HHH for being Rock’s partner tonight. She tells him to go beat up Rock but HHH tells her everything doesn’t revolve around her. He finally tells her to shut up and walks out.

The Rock/HHH vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Jericho

Rock and Angle start things off but it’s quickly off to Jericho as the villains take over. Jericho shoulders him down but Rock nips up and hits a spear of all things to put the Canadian down. Off to HHH as the beating continues. Chris is slammed off the top and HHH hooks a running choke to keep the pressure on. Back to Rock for a release belly to belly suplex and a spinebuster to set up the Elbow, but Angle low bridges him to the floor.

Rock gets to play Ricky Morton for a bit as Jericho drops a bunch of elbows for two. Back to Angle who gets punched in the face and put in the Sharpshooter, only for Jericho to quickly break it up. A DDT puts Chris down and there’s the double tag to bring in HHH and Angle. The Game beats up both evildoers and catapults Jericho out to the floor. Angle gets speared as well and Jericho gets crotched.

There’s the Pedigree for Angle but Jericho dives off the top for the save. It’s off to Rock vs. Jericho with the champion getting punched over and over. Jericho is knocked to the floor and grabs the bell but hits his own partner before walking into the Rock Bottom to end things. Nice job of making the champion look strong going into Mania.

Rating: C. The match was a standard main event tag match which means it was just ok at best. Jericho getting pinned makes me roll my eyes more than anything else, but it’s not like HHH wasn’t clearly winning the title the second his return date was announced. The match was just ok but star power helped it a lot.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was more disappointing than anything else. The problem here was mainly the Attitude Era guys being brought back in but only being warmed over imitations of what they used to be. In 2002, I don’t care about Val Venis or Godfather or Goldust. On top of that, we’re coming up on the most obvious main event of Wrestlemania since 1998, but that’s going to be overshaddowed by what’s coming on Smackdown. Not that it’s a good thing mind you, but it’s big.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my Monday Night Raw 1998 Reviews ebook on Amazon at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 14, 2002
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re six days away from the Rumble and the main story is of course HHH returning last week. The Rumble is already looking stacked with names like Austin, HHH, Angle and Undertaker already signed up for the match. Other than that….there’s not much else to talk about. That’s perfectly normal for this time of year in the WWF though so I can’t complain about it. Well alright so I will but you know the drill by now I’m sure. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Austin vs. Angle from Smackdown which ended with Kane interfering for no apparent reason and chokeslamming both guys. A few other guys came out and the mini Rumble before the Rumble went down with HHH standing tall.

Here’s Flair to open the show. He praises Dallas and talks about facing Kerry Von Erich in Texas Stadium back in 1984. Lately though, Vince has humbled Flair and we get a clip of the beating from last week. We also get a clip from Smackdown where Vince says that destroying lives turns him on. Flair yells at the cameraman for following him around and makes the match on Sunday a street fight. There are some elbows on the microphone for good sake but he wants to fight Vince now. Flair wants to fight Vince, but here’s Jericho instead.

Jericho talks about how the show used to revolve around Flair, but now this is his show. He says he’ll beat Rock for the fifth time and thinks Flair can’t do it anymore. Jericho brags about how awesome he is and says he’s the anti-Texan. Now Jericho goes onto a rant about how Flair and President George W. Bush are a lot alike but doesn’t say why. Jericho says Flair is going to choke on Sunday and the fight is on.

Flair hits a few low blows and puts the Undisputed Champion in the Figure Four, but Vince runs out with the lead pipe for the save. They didn’t even try to protect Jericho at this point. Vince slaps him in the head a bit because Flair has a concussion but a kick between Flair’s legs is blocked. Jericho decks Flair and this segment FINALLY ends after about twenty minutes. All that to announce that it’s a street fight, and yet people still wonder why they can’t get people on the show at times.

Lance Storm and Christian praise Jericho. Bradshaw comes in to yell at them, saying George Bush has given Jericho his freedom. Without making this a political argument, 1. Jericho is Canadian, 2. What freedom did Bush give him? 3. Why is Bradshaw talking to the world champion? Apparently a match is made.

Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Spike Dudley

The evil Bubba pounds Spike into the corner to start and works over the ribs, only to miss a Vader Bomb in the corner. D-Von trips Spike up but the bigger Dudleys collide. The Dudley Dog is countered and the Dudleys load up What’s Up with Stacy providing the distraction. Tazz breaks that up and it’s a victory roll for the pin for Spike. Nothing here but they built the title match on Sunday.

Stephanie arrives and is already complaining. HHH is with her and doesn’t seem to care at all.

Tajiri/Hurricane vs. Billy and Chuck

This was set up on Heat and Billy was so upset that he and Chuck had to cancel their date with two WAY hot chicks. Hurricane doesn’t buy it either and we get a WHATSUPWITHDAT. He says Billy and Chuck are more like the Human Torch: flame on. Billy and Hurricane start and Chuck almost immediately cheats. Chuck comes in legally now and stomps away in the corner as the beating continues. A clothesline puts Chuck down and there’s the not hot tag to Tajiri. Kicks are fired, we get heel miscommunication, Billy distracts Tajiri and the superkick from Chuck gets the pin. Another nothing match.

Undertaker arrives.

Scotty and Albert are at WWF New York.

Angle says he’ll break Kane’s ankle tonight. We get Shakira lyrics and Olympic references in there too.

Debra and Stephanie argue over whose husband is better. They’re about to fight but since that could send wrestling back a few hundred years, referees break it up. Is there ANYTHING of note in the first half of this show?

Jazz vs. Jacqueline

That’s a big negative on the previous question. The winner gets a title shot at Trish on Sunday. Jackie is the hometown girl so I think you can tell where this is going. Jazz dominates to start but misses a splash. That means absolutely nothing as Jackie gets caught in a fisherman’s buster for the pin and the shot. This was barely a minute.

Kurt Angle vs. Kane

Kane no sells some right hands to start and is punched out to the floor. More punching occurs on the floor but Angle hits a fast dropkick as we head back in. Kane sends him into the corner and fires off some shoulders as there’s a ton of smoke in the arena from Kane’s entrance. The elbow drop misses Kurt so Angle pounds away. A one armed side slam puts Angle down as the match continues to drag.

Kane loads up the top rope clothesline but Angle runs the corner for the suplex. We needed that as hopefully the match can pick up a bit now. A quick ankle lock attempt is broken up and the enziguri puts Angle down. Kane throws Angle into the corner and pounds away before going up top, where he blocks another suplex attempt. The top rope clothesline gets two but the chokeslam is countered into the ankle lock.

This goes on for a LONG time before Kane gets to the rope. An Angle Slam gets two and Kane sits up before grabbing Angle for the chokeslam. Angle grabs the referee, so Kane chokeslams both of them. Kane puts Angle in the ankle lock and Kurt taps, but there’s no referee. Back to the ankle lock but Angle backs up and rolls Kane up for the pin with a handful of ropes.

Rating: C-. This was just ok and the lack of selling of the ankle was really annoying. These two would face off at Wrestlemania again in a match that wasn’t all that good. Other than that, Angle looked good running up the corner for the suplex, but other than that there wasn’t much at all. At least it was long enough to rate.

Stephanie manipulates HHH to go after Austin.

Big Show comes in to see the APA when Booker comes in as well. Booker vomited on Smackdown so here are some jokes about that for good measure. Apparently we’re getting a six man with the APA/someone vs. the Canadians. Also it’s Booker vs. Big Show. Riveting stuff people.

Edge/Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal/Test

It’s a brawl to start as Test tries to sneak in through the crowd. Van Dam and Test start things off with the Canadian taking over. Off to Regal for some forearms and stomps to keep control. Back to Test to choke in the corner for a bit as the uninspired stuff continues tonight. We hit the chinlock on RVD for a bit before he fights up and hits the spin kick to take Test down. Off to Edge vs. Regal with the Hall of Famer cleaning house. Regal loads up the brass knuckles and lays out Van Dam. After a melee he lays out Edge as well for the upset pin.

Rating: D. That word uninspired continues to fit perfectly here. The problem above all else here is that there’s no reason for me to care about this match. Basically we needed two guys to throw in there for the sake of preventing Edge vs. Regal from happening from before Sunday. Just another dull match here.

The APA gets Rikishi to be their partner.

Big Show vs. Booker T

Booker jumps him to start but gets caught in a powerslam. There’s a HARD chop in the corner by the big man but Booker low bridges him out to the floor. Show blocks a shot into the post and whips Booker into it instead as we head back inside. Booker takes out the knee and hits the ax kick for two. Show comes back with some basic stuff but Booker gets a middle buckle off somewhere in there and Show misses a charge into it, giving Booker the cheap pin. Again, NOTHING of note here and very short.

Time for Austin to eat up a LOT of time as he says he and HHH disagree. He goes into a story (complete with acting out each bit) about going to a bar last night and drinking beer, playing pool and darts, riding a mechanical bull (complete with all the ways he rode it), started a bar fight, answered a bartender’s question and trained for the Royal Rumble by throwing everyone out of the bar. That’s not all he did, but I need to split up this paragraph.

Austin talked about how great HHH looks, listed off all of the exercises HHH has been doing to get back into shape, explained his strategy of getting a bigger beer belly because it makes it harder to throw him over (that’s hilarious!), lists off everything he ate at What-A-Burger (real place) and talks about all the parts of HHH’s head he can talk trash to, including both sides and the back. This was LONG but hilarious, including talking about the training methods.

We recap Vince and Flair from earlier.

Chris Jericho/Lance Storm/Christian vs. APA/Rikishi

Jericho and Rikishi start things off but the Samoan has to fight off Storm as well. The double teaming allows for Lance to take over with a superkick before it’s back to Chris. There’s a belly to belly suplex for two and it’s off to Bradshaw. Christian and Jericho stomp away at Bradshaw in the corner but Christian charges into a boot in the corner. The not hot tag brings in Faarooq as everything breaks down. A missile dropkick puts Bradshaw down and Faarooq hits the spinebuster on Jericho, but a distraction lets Jericho pop up for the Breakdown (Skull Crushing Finale) on Faarooq for the pin.

Rating: D. ANOTHER match barely long enough to rate here. Here’s the biggest problem with this match: why in the world is Rikishi in this match instead of Jericho’s opponent on Sunday, as in the Rock? That would make sense here, but that’s not going to happen on this show as we’ve seen so far. Another lame match here.

HHH tells Stephanie he’s going to the ring alone.

Here’s the Game to close out the show. He talks about what a thrill it was to return last week, but it’s not complete until he wins the Rumble on Sunday. As usual, it takes nearly five minutes to get to that point. HHH says he’ll fight anyone and here’s Austin. The Game blocks Austin from going to the buckle and the fight is on. Austin blocks a Pedigree but Taker comes in to blast them both with a chair and stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Well let’s see: other than in ads for the show, I have no idea who Jericho is defending against on Sunday, I don’t want to see the Rumble, and they couldn’t make it any clearer that HHH is winning the Rumble if they put up a big sign about it. This year is not off to a good start and it’s going to get even worse in the coming months. Nothing good to see here.

Here’s the Royal Rumble if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/16/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2002-hes-back-and-theres-not-a-thing-we-can-do-about-it/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

The year of 2001 is gone and we’re now into the year that might be even worse in 2002. At this point we’re getting close to the Brand Split that has dominated the company since it first started. On the Raw side, the year would be dominated by some surprising champions in the form of Undertaker and Hulk Hogan, but by the end of the ear we’ll be getting a DX reunion and a big feud over the newly created World Heavyweight Championship. This is the first full year when WWF had no competition so let’s get to it.

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 7, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 13,978
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

It’s the night of the loudest pop I’ve ever heard in wrestling as HHH is back from eight months of recovery from quadriceps surgery. To say there’s nothing else going on tonight is an understatement, but that’s going to be the case for a lot of these shows in the future. We’re coming up on the Rumble and if you can’t guess who is winning that, I can’t help you. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is set to Beautiful Day as HHH is back tonight.

Tonight we have a tag team contest “for the ages.” It’s Booker T/Big Boss Man vs. Rock/Austin. If those are the ages, then the ages are lost.

Here’s Vince to open things up with a blue box. This is during the time where he and Flair co-owned the company and Vince isn’t happy. We get a montage of Flair’s triumphs of the 80s and 90s, which would be much better if it wasn’t set to Cocky by Kid Rock. We also get a clip of Flair announcing himself as the new co-owner of the WWF. Then Flair challenged Vince to a match at the Rumble and punched Vince out at the same time. Vince goes to the box and pulls out….a Flair wig and robe. He does a Flair strut which finally brings out Naitch. Stupid sign of the night in the crowd: “Rick Flair is God.”

Flair talks all slow and respectful before going into a classic rant, talking about how McMahon will NEVER do this again no matter what. He says he’s Ric Flair and Vince is not so take the wig off RIGHT NOW. As Vince takes the robe off though, he blasts Flair in the head with a hidden pipe. Flair gets posted and stomped on for a bit as well.

Test vs. Rob Van Dam

The idea here is that Test can do whatever he wants because he has immunity from a battle royal win at Survivor Series. Test pounds away to start but Van Dam comes back with a spinwheel kick to take over. Another spin kick is caught in a kind of powerbomb and the Canadian pounds away on the head. A clothesline in the corner gets two and it’s off to the chinlock already. Rob fights up and escapes a suplex before kicking Test’s leg out.

Van Dam kicks Test down but Test kicks the referee into the ropes for the crotch. The referee and Test get in a shoving match which gives Van Dam two. Test misses the big boot so Van Dam kicks him to the floor where Test grabs a chair. The referee is shoved down again and it’s the Van Daminator to set up the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was just ok for the most part. The Test storyline didn’t really go anywhere as at the end of the day, he’s just Test. He was a whiny guy that never did anything of note after the year 2000, so why should anyone care that he’s shoving referees around? Nothing to see here.

Angle is annoyed at HHH getting all the attention when he isn’t even here. He has a big announcement of his own, but he’ll save it for later.

Trish and Terri argue at WWF New York, resulting in a wet t-shirt contest later tonight. This was back when Trish was a blonde head of hair and a big rack and nothing more.

Billy and Chuck vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Albert

Billy and Chuck aren’t entirely gay yet, but Billy does suggest that they should be in the wet t-shirt contest rather than the girls. Billy and Albert get things going and it’s Albert taking over on both of the guys in red. We get the COMEDY spot of Billy being sent into the corner and falling face first into Chuck’s crotch because that’s funny right? Scotty comes in with a neckbreaker for two on Chuck but Billy blasts him in the back to take over. The heels take over for a bit, but Scotty comes back with a DDT on Chuck to put both guys down.

There’s the hot tag to Albert as the fans are nearly comatose. A powerslam gets two on Chuck and there’s a splash in the corner to Billy. Chuck hits Billy by mistake and Scotty loads up the Worm. After a dancing accompaniment by Albert, the Worm gets two but Billy breaks it up. Chuck superkicks Albert down and the Fameasser is enough to pin Scotty.

Rating: D. This would be your second straight lame match that doesn’t accomplish anything and is really here just to fill in some time. I’d almost think that they were intentionally having a boring show so that HHH’s return looks all the more awesome, but they would NEVER do something like that right?

Jericho demands more respect and doesn’t want to face Rikishi, even in a non-title match. Oh and he sucks up to Vince for a bit.

Michael Cole is in a yellow shirt and is WAY too excited. Austin comes up and gives him the still fresh WHAT treatment. Austin says he saw HHH here in the back and he isn’t sure what to think of it. He knows what it’s like to come back from a nearly career ending injury. That being said, he didn’t want to say hi to HHH.

Tonight he’s here to enter the Royal Rumble, which is the match where you take a man and throw him over the top, then you take another (WHAT), then another (WHAT), repeat I kid you not 28 times. He actually said it that many times. Also tonight Austin is teaming up with the Rock, which prompts a bunch of WHAT’s. Austin is really into this at the moment and it’s working really well.

Lawler has a watergun and gets to emcee the t-shirt contest.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Lance Storm

Edge is defending. Storm immediately jumps Edge and clotheslines him in the corner. They trade some fast rollups and Storm hooks the Canadian Maple Leaf (half crab). That goes nowhere so Edge elbows him in the face a few times and hits the Impaler to retain. This was barely a minute long.

William Regal jumps Edge as he leaves and it’s the Power of the Punch for the champion.

Buy the WWF Magazine to read EVEN MORE about HHH.

Angle complains to European Champion Christian about HHH returning. It was Angle that saved the company at Survivor Series and it’s Angle that brings happiness and joy to children every day. They make fun of Beautiful Day for a bit too before Angle gets in this gem: “I tore my quadricep this morning and I’m here tonight!” When Angle is on, he’s WAY on and he certainly was here.

Steve Austin/The Rock vs. Big Bossman/Booker T

Booker and Boss Man are Vince’s cronies and they’re fighting the heroes. It’s a big brawl to start of course with Rock vs. Booker on the floor and a Thesz Press to Boss Man back inside. They switch partners and it’s Austin vs. Booker to start things off. A hot shot puts Booker down as Boss Man is rammed into the table a few times. Austin throws Booker to the floor so Rock throws Boss Man inside.

It’s time to stomp a mudhole as the Super Best Friends are completely dominant so far. Another clothesline puts Boss Man down and it’s off to Rock. The big jumping clothesline gets two for Rocky but Boss Man hits a kind of running clothesline in the corner to take over. Off to Rock who gets his face slammed into the mat, only to come back and send Rock to the floor. Back in and Booker stomps away but Rock pops up for a quick slugout.

A spinebuster puts Booker down but Boss Man breaks up the People’s Elbow. There’s the Book End but Austin comes in to break up something that hadn’t started yet. Boss Man comes in to fire off a knee to Rock’s chest and Booker adds a superkick for two. Austin comes in to break things up again and this time it’s enough for the hot tag to the Rattlesnake. Boss Man seems to have issues with any spot where he has to be lifted into the air. Everything breaks down for a third time and the Stunner pins Boss Man.

Rating: D+. Tag match for the ages? This? This was two legends beating up a big name and a guy who was over the hill nine years before this. It was clear that Austin was losing steam at this point as there was no fire in him here at all. He wasn’t terrible looking or anything, but at the end of the day he’s beating up Big Boss Man. Can you blame him for bailing in a few months?

Beer is consumed.

Apparently Rikishi gave Test a Stinkface recently.

Rikishi vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title here. Rikishi shoves him around to start and loads up a quick Stinkface, only to have referee Nick Patrick block it for no apparent reason. We head to the floor where Jericho rips the padding off the barricade and whips the fat man into it to take over. Back inside we go and Jericho gets two off a missile dropkick. The Lionsault misses though and the fat man starts his comeback.

A kind of Alabama Slam puts Jericho down and there’s a Samoan Drop for no cover. Rikishi loads up the Banzai Drop but Patrick blocks it again. After shoving him away, Rikishi misses the Banzai and Jericho heads to the floor. He grabs one of the belts but the swing misses and Rikishi superkicks Jericho into Patrick. A Stinkface only hits the referee and it’s a belt shot to Rikishi’s non-stereotyped head for the pin.

Rating: D. Did we really need a crooked referee, a belt shot and a cheating win for Chris Jericho to beat Rikishi in less than four and a half minutes? The match was dull and mainly there for the chance of Rikishi hitting a Stinkface, which isn’t really all that interesting at the end of the day. Another nothing match.

Big Show, Torrie and Tajiri have an awkward moment talking about HHH until Angle comes in and accuses them of acting like teenagers at a Ricky Martin concert. Tajiri does a Martin impression. Next.

We recap the Vince/Flair thing earlier.

The Dudleys get in a confrontation with Tazz and Spike, who they defend against in a bit. Wouldn’t this be better suited for more than five minutes before the match?

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Spike Dudley/Tazz

This is hardcore for no apparent reason and Stacy is with the Dudleys. It’s a brawl to start with Spike being sent into the steps. Bubba sprays him with a fire extinguisher as the fans want tables. Spike tries a sunset flip on Bubba, only to get blasted with the extinguisher again. A HARD trashcan lid to the face puts Tazz down and What’s Up Tazz? Bubba wants tables but whispers it because he’s evil right now.

Tazz is almost put through but Spike makes the save with a stop sign. There’s a Tazmission to D-Von but Tazz has to let it go to move a table. Stacy flashes Tazz to distract him but Bubba gets the view instead, allowing for a suplex onto a table. Spike puts him through the table with a Dudley Dog for the upset and the titles.

Rating: D+. The match was fast paced but not all that great. The problem here was that at the end of the day, does anyone buy Spike and Tazz as a long term championship team? It was clear that they were transitional champions, which is ok, but it doesn’t do much overall. The live crowd loved this though and there was a match before this to set it up, so it was far better than some other angles I’ve seen that tried to do the same thing.

Undertaker says he’s winning the Rumble, and wishes HHH bad luck.

It’s time for the wet t-shirt contest now. Terri goes first and Jerry freaks out as you can see through her shirt. Trish leans against the ropes to get wetted down, but Jazz runs in to beat her down and end the contest. This was about what you would expect from it.

Here’s the reason this show exists: HHH makes his return to the absolutely loudest pop I have ever heard in MSG and likely the loudest I’ve ever heard anywhere. I mean the place EXPLODES. He poses for a good long while as the fans will not stop cheering. That’s very awesome when you think about it. HHH says he’s the Game and he’s back to another huge reaction. He officially enters the Rumble and here’s Angle to break it up. Kurt says that he too will be in the Rumble which is the big announcement he’s been talking about all night. The brawl is on and HHH of course gets the better of it, hitting a Pedigree to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show isn’t bad but it’s clear that all they’ve got to hope for at this point is HHH. His return was awesome, but they’re not going to have an MSG crowd to bail them out of a weak show week after week. Next week is the go home show for the Rumble though so we’ve got a lot of changes coming up which would be changed even more in a few months. Not a terrible show but it’s nothing worth seeing other than the end.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews