Monday Night Raw – July 8, 2002: The Worst Decision In Company History

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 8, 2002
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

You know, I constantly say how much I hate 2002 Raw, and yet this is the 11th episode of it that I’ll have reviewed already. I plan on doing them all starting soon, and I’ll already be a fifth done with them. Interestingly enough, only one show has been after July. Anyway, we’re between KOTR and Vengeance here, which means Undertaker is world champion. The only thing I recognize on the card is a match that is in the running for worst TV match ever, so that’s likely why this was requested. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the 4th of July show with Angle making Undertaker tap out at the same time Undertaker pinned him.

Vince pops up to start and says Undertaker has the night off. Taker will however be on Smackdown to welcome Rock back. The main event for Vengeance is Rock vs. Taker vs. Angle for the title.

Theme song.

Here’s Booker to open the show. This is just after he was literally kicked out of the NWO. He rants about X-Pac, compares him to Chuck E. Cheese, and wants him tonight. Booker knows he might get beaten down but you have to do that to get some respect. Instead he gets Eddie Guerrero. Eddie says this isn’t about Booker, because the Dudleys stole a win from him. Last week Eddie promised Benoit that he would take out his anger on the first guy he saw, and with that the fight is on.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T

Booker pounds on him to start and a knee to the ribs looks to set up the ax kick, only for Eddie to get in a shot to the knee and take over. A rollup with feet on the ropes gets two for Eddie and this is going slow already. Eddie suplexes him down and hits a neckbreaker for two. Booker comes out of nowhere with his corner sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was about three minutes of punching and kicking followed by a nearly botched sunset flip out of the corner. For two world champion level guys, you kind of expect a bit more. That being said, this was pretty much normal for Raw around this time, as nothing was really clicking at all.

Post match Eddie tries to jump Booker again but gets kicked in the face. Benoit runs in and it’s a double beatdown on Booker. Goldust comes out for the save but gets beaten down as well. Here are Bubba and Spike with chairs to take out Benoit and Eddie for the real save.

A familiar name is coming to WWE. His name: Rey Mysterio.

Goldust asks for Booker’s hand. Dancing ensues but Booker says this is serious. Goldust talks about going down and skips off. Booker superkicks a vendor that looks like X-Pac. Did I mention Booker is more or less the top face on Raw at this point?

Trish and Jackie Gayda are in the back and we get clips of Jackie vs. Molly from last week. Molly won so Trish came out and ripped Molly’s pants off. Jackie accuses Trish of being jealous and oh my goodness she makes Stephanie look like a classic actress. Christopher Nowitski pops up and insults Trish because of her cowboy hat. Trish suggests a mixed tag with those two against herself and some partner. Nowitski makes cowboy jokes and Trish says her partner will be Bradshaw.

We get a famous Rock moment of him driving Lillian crazy.

Chris Benoit vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Spike and Bubba are in the back when Goldust, dressed as Benjamin Franklin, claims to have traveled through time after having seen what the Dudleys did earlier to save Goldust and Booker. Franklindust proposes that the Dudleys team up with Booker and Goldust to fight the NWO. Goldie says he wanted to punch Thomas Jefferson a time or two but they’re all in this together. Did I mention this is the top feud on Raw at the moment? We cut back to Benoit and Guerrero (his second) standing in the ring and Benoit’s face makes it look like he wishes he was still healing from a broken neck.

Benoit jumps Benoit to start and takes him down with a forearm to the face. Benoit keeps pounding on him so Bubba chops back in the corner. There’s a belly to back suplex to Benoit but an Eddie distraction keeps the backsplash from being launched. It’s not like it would have hit anyway. The Canadian hits a German on the American and they chop it out a bit before the American hits a German on the Canadian. A big sidewalk slam puts Benoit down and Eddie jumps Spike. There’s the Bubba Bomb to Benoit but Eddie throws Spike at the referee. Benoit uses the distraction to grab the Crossface for the submission.

Rating: C. It was better than the previous match because of the intensity in it, but was this really the best thing they could use Benoit for after he came back from injury? The match was barely long enough to rate and it was nothing interesting at all. Bubba Ray Dudley is roughly the third biggest face on the show right now, which should give you a good idea of how things were.

Post match the former Radicalz beat the Dudleys down until Booker and Goldust make the save.

Christopher Nowitski (notice the repetition of names tonight?) takes us on a tour of Harvard’s athletics department.

We get some clips from last week’s ladder match with Hardy vs. Undertaker.

Flair is praising Jeff in the back for trying last week when Steven Richards come up. We get Flair vs. Richards tonight, because in 2002 we use guys like Flair and Benoit to put over guys like Steven Richards and Bubba Ray Dudley, and by put over I mean beat them in three and a half minute matches that no one will remember by the end of the show because there was nothing to them.

Trish Stratus/Bradshaw vs. Christopher Nowitski/Jackie Gayda

JR warns us that Nowitski and Gayda are very green still, so you know this isn’t going to be pretty. The men start and they get down in three point stances but Chris runs. Gayda gets the tag which brings in Trish because the genders have to match. Trish hits some Japanese armdrags and a dropkick for two before charging at the ropes, not hitting Jackie, and bouncing back into the ring. Jackie literally falls onto Trish and the Philly fans let them have it.

She chokes Trish on the ropes….by pulling Trish’s throat away from the rope. Off to the guys again with Bradshaw kicking Chris in the face and hitting the fallaway slam for no cover. Jackie jumps on Bradshaw’s back….and the guys run into the crowd, leaving these two girls in the ring. Alone. IN PHILADELPHIA. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA???

Back in the ring, Trish chops away with Jackie looking like she’s dancing instead of selling. Jackie chokes away in the opposite corner and puts Trish on the top. WHO TOLD HER SHE KNEW HOW TO DO A SUPERPLEX??? Thank goodness Trish knocks her away and tries a bulldog. Stratus jumps, her forearm hits Jackie in the back of the head…..and Jackie doesn’t move. Trish hits the mat and THEN Jackie falls down on her side. Trish rolls her up and the referee counts three even though Jackie kicks out at two. JR: “And mercifully it’s over.”

Rating: P. For Philadelphia. The WWE agents thought it was ok to leave Trish Stratus, who wasn’t good yet, and JACKIE GAYDA, in her THIRD MATCH, alone in the ring in Philadelphia. This may in fact be the dumbest decision in the history of the company, and that’s covering A LOT of ground.

Eddie and Benoit yell about the four guys they’ve dealt with tonight. X-Pac and Big Show come up and say chill. Shawn follows the NWO and says that we’re getting a speech in a second from Nash.

Rock moment shows him making fun of whoever he happens to be feuding with at the time.

Here’s the NWO because what would this show be without them? Shawn says you’re either with the NWO or you’re against them. We get a clip from King of the Ring where HHH seemed interested about joining them and apparently HHH has officially been offered a spot. Shawn talks about the Kliq and most people don’t seem interested. Fan: “GET TO THE POINT!” HHH hasn’t responded to their offer yet so Shawn thinks HHH is going soft because of the fans. HHH has until Vengeance to join or else.

Nash says that tonight, the NWO is going to take out Booker tonight and that’s a message to the Game. It’s his first match back from the injured list. Remember that as it’ll be important later. Tonight it’s a ten man tag with the three NWO guys, Benoit and Eddie vs. the Dudleys/Booker/Goldust/whoever else they can get. This took nearly ten minutes somehow.

Ric Flair vs. Steven Richards

Flair pounds him into the corner to start like some legend beating down some midcard guy that never really got over other than for a few months. Flair pounds on him in the other corner now and we head to the floor. Back in and Flair gets backdropped but avoids a dropkick. Flair blocks a suplex, hits a belly to back of his own, and ends it with the Figure Four.

Rating: D. Total squash here and I have no idea why. Is this really the best they can do with Flair? I mean, you can’t have him feud with Benoit or Guerrero and let him get one of those guys over? Flair doesn’t need to win these matches and they’re not helping Richards, nor are they doing anything for Flair, so what’s the point? Better question: why am I expecting a point?

Rock has sung a lot. He’s coming back to Smackdown though, probably because there’s no one on Raw worth his time.

Here are Heyman and the KOTR and #1 contender, Brock Lesnar. Heyman talks about how whoever wins the triple threat is going to be the lamb led to slaughter at Summerslam. Lesnar gets RVD for the IC Title at Vengeance which Heyman declares a win already. Heyman knows this because he created RVD (and never put the world title on him for no apparent reason) along with everyone else in ECW. He made them to satiate the blood thist (his terms) of these Philadelphia fans.

This brings out Tommy Dreamer with a kendo stick. Guess what the fans start chanting. Dreamer says Heyman didn’t make anyone. It was the people working so hard that made ECW along with the fans. Dreamer says he used to be the Innovator of Violence and he can take whatever beating Brock can give him. He hits Brock with the stick a few times and goes after Heyman, only to walk into the F5 on the floor. Van Dam comes out of nowhere for the save. Heyman takes a Van Terminator.

Pat Croce, the former boss of the Philadelphia 76ers, is here to talk about his new show Slam Ball, which is this freaky idea that had basketball being played with trampolines.

European Title: Jeff Hardy vs. William Regal

Regal is defending of course. Jeff starts fast and hits the Whisper in the Wind for two. The legdrop between the legs keeps Regal down and they head outside. Regal gets in some stomps and takes over before hitting a Tiger Bomb in the ring for two. Regal Cutter gets two as well and Regal takes Jeff’s head off with a running knee. The champ puts on a kind of Tazmission which doesn’t last long followed by some elbows for two. Regal goes to take off the buckle pad and gets dropkicked into the corner. That and a Swanton are enough for the pin and the title for Jeff.

Rating: C-. Another short match that didn’t mean anything. Jeff would look to be in line for a push here, but the title would be retired in two weeks because someone thought it was a good idea to have one champion per show for some reason that no one ever really explained. Jeff would do nothing of note before leaving in 2003.

This is your life Rock!

Regal starts to cry in the back. This also went nowhere as far as I remember.

The Dudleys ask RVD to be their partner.

NWO/Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley/Rob Van Dam/Booker T/Goldust

Van Dam and X-Pac start things off which is one of the best possible combinations they could put out there. Van Dam takes over with a lot of kicks and gets two off a big one. Off to Goldie who pounds away in the corner before hitting a powerslam for no cover. Here’s Bubba, who somehow seems to be the guy on the face team getting the biggest push out of all of them.

Off to Spike with a headscissor takeover but he tries one too many flips and is taken down by a kick. Pac brings in Benoit who lays out Spike with a gordbuster before bringing in Eddie. After a bit more beating, a BIG monkey flip sends Eddie flying. Benoit comes in to suplex RVD down and it’s time for Big Show. Van Dam keeps playing Ricky Morton for awhile with X-Pac choking away.

Van Dam comes out of nowhere with a superkick but Shawn breaks up the Five Star. A spin kick from Rob allows for the hot tag to Bubba who cleans as much house as he can. Shawn trips Bubba and is chased to the back by Van Dam. As Van Dam is chasing him, Lesnar pops out and takes Rob’s head off with a clothesline and lays him out with the F5. Bubba gets slammed by Show and it’s off to Benoit again. Make that Eddie as you can see who is doing all the work here.

Hot tag brings in Booker who cleans the house all over again but Nash hits him in the back of the head. Here’s the tag to Nash and let’s time this. A big boot takes Booker down and then Nash goes over to the face corner, trips over Booker, and rips his quad apart, putting him on the shelf until April. Everything breaks down and Sweet Chin Music and a chokeslam end Booker.

Rating: D-. So let’s see: we had Benoit and Eddie doing all the work, Bubba and Spike doing nothing of note, Booker doing the job, and the NWO getting to look good. Other than them, who benefits from this? This was all about the NWO which did nothing at all their entire run. Thankfully due to Nash’s injury the team was split up the next week. This match sucked though and is a perfect way to cap off the awful show.

Shawn warns HHH to join or else to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Nothing good happened on this show. Literally, there was nothing to see here at all. The best match is Benoit vs. Bubba which was nothing more than a setup for later in the show. It had one of the worst matches I’ve ever seen and some of the least interesting feuds in wrestling history. Who is the top face here? Van Dam? Booker? Bubba? It’s really hard to tell and that’s not good. This was the problem they were risking by having Austin be the only top guy and they had to bring HHH over soon to give them a star to save the show, which led to the disaster that was 2003. Horrible HORRIBLE show here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Night Raw – March 11, 2002: For the Only Time In History, Steve Austin vs. Hulk Hogan

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 11, 2002
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another Twitter request which I’d love to get more of. Anyway the main event tonight is a pretty big match with the NWO vs. Rock/Austin in a handicap match. Other than that…..oh this is the go home show for Wrestlemania. That probably has something to do with the request, but it’s hard to say what to expect as far as quality. Either they’ll be on fire or they’ll be going at half speed because of fear of messing up Sunday. Let’s get to it.

Rob Van Dam/Hardy Boys vs. Dudley Boys/William Regal

We’re combining PPV match here, although the tag teams are in a four way with two other teams. Regal is IC Champion and cost Van Dam the Hardcore Title on Thursday. It’s a big brawl to start with Regal vs. Van Dam in the ring. Van Dam gets two almost immediately off Rolling Thunder. The arena is full of smoke so Van Dam and the Hardys have an automatic advantage. D-Von tries to set up a table for no apparent reason but Rob baseball slides it into his face.

Jeff comes in but Regal kicks him in the head to take over. What’s Up keeps Jeff down but he hits a Whisper in the Wind to take D-Von down. Hot tag brings in Matt vs. Regal with Matt cleaning house. Everything breaks down and it’s a 3D to Jeff, a Twist of Fate to D-Von, a Bubba Bomb to Matt, a top rope kick to Bubba, a spin kick to Regal, and a Five Star to Regal for the pin. The last three were all by the same guy.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here at all and I’m always a fan of putting two feuds together into one match. This doesn’t do much for the tag teams but it makes Van Dam look like a bigger threat to Regal and the title which is the point of this match. Not a great match but the ending was good.

Vince and Flair are at an emergency board meeting in Connecticut. Vince says the company is in a state of emergency due to Flair. He talks about how the company is falling apart because they have no direction. Actually this speech would be better served later in the year but you get the point. Tonight, Vince would like a unanimous vote for full owenership and control of the company.

Here’s Angle with something to say. He talks about how he got ripped off in his title match with Jericho due to Kane’s interference. Angle calls himself the Big Red White and Blue Machine which makes me chuckle. They have a match at Wrestlemania now and Angle is going to make that whole burning alive thing look like a paper cut. However, Kane isn’t the only one to blame for Angle not getting the title shot. It’s also the fans’ fault for the You Suck chants.

This brings out Booker in defense of the fans which is a surprise. The fans aren’t stupid. They’re beyond stupid. The fans have cost him his Japanese shampoo commercial and he doesn’t even have for Wrestlemania. This brings out Edge who says Booker is stupid (complete with clips of Booker being stupid on the Weakest Link, a trivia show that had a WWF week) and that he’ll be his Huckleberry for Wrestlemania. Booker says ok.

Angle says “You dang skippy, crystal clean with no caffeine.” Booker glares at him and Edge says Angle is just the Big White Machine. Angle tries a Spinarooni and we’ve got a tag match set up for later with Edge having a mystery partner. Edge asks for Angle’s music to be played so we can all practice our You Sucks.

Stephanie is in the back with HHH’s dog Lucy. She rips into the dog which is apparently a spoil of war in the divorce. HHH comes in and takes the dog but Stephanie won’t let him leave with the dog. A judge says the dog belongs to her because Stephanie told the judge how HHH mistreated Lucy. At least until the divorce is over. Did I mention we’re six days away from HHH being in the main event of WRESTLE FREAKING MANIA and they’re arguing over a dog? HHH throws the dog onto Stephanie and says she does stink, doesn’t she Lucy. Stephanie says she’ll introduce Lucy to someone that hates dogs worse than she does.

Rikishi vs. Test

Rikishi pounds him down and into the corner to start but Test punches him right back. Rikishi superkicks him down and hits an Earthquake before setting up the Stink Face, only to have Mr. Perfect, the cause for this match somehow, come out and distract Rikishi. Test hits a big boot for the pin. This was nothing.

Jericho comes in to see Stephanie and Lucy and throws Lucy off the couch. Stephanie CAN’T FREAKING ACT. The dog relieves itself on the carpet. Six days until Wrestlemania. I want you to keep that in mind.

And the joke KEEPS GOING as Jericho takes the dog for a walk. Jericho ties her to the door of a limo and leaves her outside.

DDP is at catering when Christian comes up. He’s DDP’s protege but it’s not quite working. DDP gives him a smiling lesson so Billy and Chuck come up and make thinly veiled gay jokes. Christian vs. Billy is made for later.

Back to the board meeting, which is totally cool to have cameras in of course. Vince shows a clip from Smackdown with Flair beating up Undertaker. Flair was arrested but he’s at the meeting anyway. I can’t remember his name but the cop is from OVW.

Hardcore Title: Goldust vs. Al Snow

Goldie is defending. There are weapons in the ring to start so they fight on the floor to get things going. The champ loads up Shattered Dreams but Snow gets out of the way. There’s a fire extinguisher shot and the Snowplow gives Snow the title in like a minute.

Jericho tries to find air freshener for Stephanie and is going to an all night store to get some. It’s like 9:45 and they need an all night store? The limo backs up and apparently it hit Lucy.

Back with MORE DOG STUFF! HHH finds out what happened and Lucy is still alive. Help is requested. I’m terrified to think of what the payoff of this is going to be tonight.

Booker T/Kurt Angle vs. Edge/???

The mystery partner is….Big Show. I know Kane isn’t here tonight, but WHY isn’t Kane here tonight? I don’t think we’ve ever been given a reason for that. Booker and Show start with Booker hammering away to no avail. Angle comes in and gets thrown around as well and chopped in the corner. Apparently Kane has a concussion. See, that wasn’t so hard. A quick ankle lock is countered by pure power. Both heels are sent to the floor and Edge plays the Jimmy Snuka to Show’s Andre and dives onto both of them on the floor.

Back in and Angle charges into a Canadian boot but Angle Germans Edge down to take over. Booker comes in but gets kicked down as well and it’s off to Big Show. Off to Show vs. Angle and another kick to the face takes Angle down. A double chokeslam is countered so Show suplexes both of them instead. Everything breaks down and Booker kicks Show in the face as he’s trying the chokeslam on Kurt. Edge spears Booker down but it’s an Angle Slam and ankle lock for the tap out from Big Show.

Rating: C. Well it’s not like Big Show had anything to do on Sunday anyway so him doing the job is the only possible answer. Not a great match or anything but again it does some work for two matches which is a great idea coming into Sunday. Edge vs. Angle would get started later this year and it would launch Edge WAY up the ladder.

Stephanie freaks out about Lucy but Jericho has a plan.

Torrie, Jackie and Terri are in swimsuits at WWF New York to promote a Divas special. THANK GOODNESS Jackie is blocked out by a guy’s head.

Billy vs. Christian

DDP jumps in on commentary. Billy pounds Christian down in the corner to start and hits a Jackhammer for no cover. Fameasser is avoided and Christian has a tantrum on the floor. Page goes over to calm him down but it lets Chuck clothesline Christian down. Billy hits the Fameasser on Christian but Page Diamond Cuts Billy to give Christian the cheap win.

Christian turns on Page post match and we’ve got a European Title (Page is champion) match on Sunday.

Back to the board meeting and Vince gives a big corporate speech about how Flair is an embarrassment to the company. This is MR. MCMAHON giving this speech. Keep in mind, Flair is fighting Undertaker on Sunday, not Vince. The Board is going to go talk and then vote on either Flair or Vince.

Lita/Trish Stratus vs. Jazz/Stacy Keibler

I always loved how Lita looked in those tied off Wrestlemania baseball jerseys. Trish is just starting to get good and she has her signature look down now. Trish gets jumped and double teamed to start but let’s talk about Lucy! She has a broken leg apparently but HHH is on his way back. Jazz and Lita start things off with Jazz (the Women’s Champion) hitting a double chickenwing on Lita.

Off to Stacy for a corner leg choke but Lita realizes that she’s fighting Stacy freaking Keibler and slams her down. Off to Trish as everything breaks down. Jazz takes a double flapjack but Trish accidentally kicks Lita, giving Jazz a quick rollup win. Trish, Jazz and Lita would have a triple threat on Sunday for the title and for the life of me I have no idea why Trish didn’t win the title there but rather a month or so later.

HHH is back and he’s in ANGRY mode. He’s looking for Stephanie but Steph is coming to the ring. She swears it was an accident and here’s HHH. Stephanie runs but HHH drags her back to the ring. The only good thing about this: Stephanie tries to crawl away but HHH grabs her by the pants, giving us a great uncensored view.

HHH loads up a Pedigree but Jericho runs in and hits him in the repaired thigh with a sledgehammer twice. HHH thinks it’s torn again. The Game is taken to the back and Jericho takes the leg out again. See here’s the thing: why did we need the Lucy stuff? Take that away and do this angle and it’s THE SAME EXACT THING.

JR and Jerry debate if this was a setup or not. IS EVERYONE TIHS FREAKING STUPID???

Back to the board meeting because we haven’t been dumbed down enough tonight. Flair says he’s going to have his match on Sunday no matter what, so Vince gets a full vote of confidence, giving him full power back…..until Wrestlemania, after which the board can review the decision. Flair thanks the board for meeting tonight (despite the video saying this was earlier today) and talks about his match on Sunday. You have to remember that Flair and Vince hadn’t had any issues since February and it’s been Flair vs. Taker for the last month or so, making this even more ridiculous.

Hogan is fired up for tonight and for Wrestlemania and getting to face Rock. The NWO promises history tonight.

New World Order vs. Steve Austin/The Rock

This is the first time the NWO has ever competed together in the WWF. Rock and Hall start things off but a Hogan distraction lets Hall take over. This is a handicap match if that didn’t come through. Rock comes back and Hogan bails from the apron in fear. A clothesline gets two for Hall and it’s off to Nash. Rock pounds away but a sidewalk slam gets two for Nash. Snake Eyes puts Rock down and it’s off to Hogan.

Hogan pounds on Rock a bit and suplexes him down before Hall and Nash work Rock over a bit. There’s the hot tag to Austin who cleans house. Nash somehow botches a Thesz Press from Austin so Austin hits a spinebuster on Hall instead. Nash can’t even hit Austin in the head right so Austin clotheslines the Outsiders down. A big boot, the only move even Nash can’t screw up, takes Austin down and it’s back to Hall.

The fallaway slam gets two for Scott and it’s back to Nash. Kevin pounds on Austin in the corner and it’s back to Hall. A clothesline puts Austin down for two and now for the only time that I can EVER remember, it’s Hogan vs. Austin. Hogan pounds away with some punches and a chokeslam before tagging out to Hall. It only lasts 25 seconds, but that actually felt special. Hall chokeslams Austin down but the Razor’s Edge is broken up by a backdrop.

Austin’s comeback is stopped AGAIN by a clothesline but he takes Hall right back down. Hot tag brings in Rock vs. Nash and Rock cleans house….for about 20 seconds before Nash takes him down again. This feels like WCW all over again. Off to Hogan to clean up the Rock scraps, but Rock nips up to terrify Hulk. Nash of course stops the momentum and everything breaks down. In a REALLY anti-climactic ending, Hogan punches Rock, hits the boot and legdrop and gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Huge historical moment aside, this was a really odd match. It was basically a squash with the NWO never really breaking a sweat against two of the biggest stars of all time. Nash looked like he had never been in a ring before and the whole thing looked awful. Then again, this had Steve Austin vs. Hulk Hogan in a legal match so it gets an automatic pass.

The NWO cleans house to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was AWFUL. Between the two WAY too long stories that went nowhere, the matches sucked and it felt like they threw Wrestlemania together six days before the show. Austin vs. Hall, pretty much the third biggest match on the show, wasn’t mentioned until the last fifteen seconds. On top of that, Jericho is a total afterthought to both Stephanie and A FREAKING DOG. He’s the Undisputed WWF Champion heading into the main event of Wrestlemania and he’s playing third fiddle to a wife and a dog. Absolutely horrible show and one of the worst go home shows I have ever seen.

Here’s Wrestlemania if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/25/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-18-should-have-been-hogan-vs-austin/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




TNA Weekly PPV #7: Feeling More Like A Mess Every Week

TNA Weekly PPV #7
Date: July 31, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Ed Ferrara, Don West

Back with another week here after last week’s just decent show. For anyone unclear on this, for the next few weeks of this series I’ll be grading them a lot easier overall due to how new this promotion still was at the time. You can’t expect perfection right out of the blocks, even though some TNA fans are still saying they need more time ten years after opening. Anyway, there’s nothing major announced, but of course Jarrett has been suspended for sixty days and there’s NO WAY he’s here tonight, or in the main event or anything like that. Let’s get to it.

X-Division Title: Elix Skipper vs. AJ Styles

AJ is defending here of course. Skipper jumps the champ as he comes in as Jerry Lynn sits in on commentary. A spinwheel kick takes Skipper down as does a discus lariat. They trade standing switches and Styles chops away in the corner. A running dropkick and clothesline in the corner put Skipper down for two and then two more. Neither guy can hit a German suplex so Elix settles for a dragon suplex to take over.

Skipper pounds away in the corner but charges into a superkick to the face. AJ strikes away but a belly to back suplex takes him down. This is a different style from AJ and I’m not sure how well I like it. He’s leaning heel here and I’m not sure Skipper is a face so it doesn’t balance out that well. Styles tries a kick to the ribs but gets shoved back to the mat as Skipper keeps control.

Out to the floor with AJ being rammed back first into the apron. Skipper hooks a butterfly suplex, floats over onto AJ and pulls back on the arms in a kind of reverse Cattle Mutilation. Styles’ rana is blocked into a powerbomb from Skipper as Elix has dominated almost all of this match. Skipper keeps up the different kind of offense by hooking a sunset flip but shifts to the side and cranks on AJ’s head in a neck hold.

AJ counters a northern lights suplex into a seated guillotine followed by the moonsault into the reverse DDT. A guillotine legdrop misses for AJ but he hurricanranas Skipper to the floor as things slow down a bit. That doesn’t last long as AJ misses an Asai Moonsault as Skipper slides in immediately and hits a big corkscrew plancha. Back in AJ counters the Play of the Day into the Styles Clash which is countered into a sunset flip. Elix goes to the rope but gets knocked off, letting AJ hit Spiral Tap to retain.

Rating: C+. This was like a lawn mower that you keep pulling the cord on and you get the engine started a little bit but then it dies down again. These two kept trying to get something going but it never got to the point they were supposed to get to. AJ doesn’t quite work that well as a striker but once he ditched that and started flipping and jumping all over the place, it worked much better. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen very often and the match was only pretty good.

Tenay and company say that boss Ricky Steamboat isn’t here tonight. Nice job on the bait and switch people. However, Steamboat has ordered Malice to return the belt he stole last week and wouldn’t you know it, Jarrett isn’t suspended anymore and he’s facing Hall in the main event tonight.

As Skipper is leaving, Monty Brown pops up and beats the tar out of him, hitting the Alpha Bomb and leaving him laying.

Here’s Jarrett to the ring immediately after that with a body bag. He says that since Shamrock, Behrens and Steamboat were all gone, he’s going to amuse himself. Jarrett pulls a midget wrestler out of the bag and beats the tar out of him before issuing an open challenge. It’s answered by that annoying midget Puppet who, I kid you know, PULLS A GUN ON JARRETT. Then, because he’s pretty freaking stupid, he turns around and gets blasted with a chair shot from Jarrett.

Now Steamboat pops up on the stage which makes me wonder why they said he wasn’t here when he’s here three minutes later. Anyway, Steamboat says Jarrett is done tonight, but Jarrett wants to fight Steamboat. Jeff suggests that if he wins he gets a title shot but if he loses, he’ll take the suspension. Steamboat seems cool with it but as he’s comign to the ring, Scott Hall sneaks in and jumps Jarrett. He pulls out a stretcher from under the ring and we’ve got a gimmick main event.

Sonny Siaki says he doesn’t need backup and that he’s better than his partners Estrada and Yang. He also accuses Goldilocks of checking him out. This guy is growing on me.

Slash vs. Sonny Siaki

Slash immediately pounds Siaki down into the corner and pounds away. James Mitchell has a box which is called the Ark of the New Church which contains the blood of the Audad, whatever that is. Slash tries a sunset bomb to the floor but Siaki counters into a rana to take over. Slash is sent into the barricade and backdropped on the floor and we head back inside.

Siaki takes too long to attack and gets caught in an Eye of the Hurricane for two. Keeping up with that theme, the move we would call the Eye of the Storm gets two and a bicycle kick “hits” for two. Mitchell gets off commentary as Slash puts on a cobra clutch. As Siaki starts to fight back, Slash leg sweeps him down for two. Sikai starts a comeback but misses a top rope backsplash. Slash puts a bag over Siaki’s face, hits a neckbreaker, takes the bag off, and gets the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but it wasn’t great either. I like Siaki but this heel vs. heel thing didn’t work all that well. Also, they’ve been building him up for weeks now and then they just stop doing it for the sake of giving Slash a win. This is what jobbers are for, and I assure you there are people that would love to be able to do jobs on PPV.

Post match Mitchell puts the blood of Audad on Siaki’s face until Don Harris (bald guy, in a bunch of biker teams with his twin brother) runs in for the save. Malice comes out and has a staredown with Harris.

Steamboat says he’s in charge and anyone that has issues with it can get over it. Oh and don’t compare him to Bill Behrens. He leaves and one of the Rainbow Express follows him.

Here’s Truth to talk to one of the cage dancers. He talks to her about how she’s in a cage like an animal against her own free will. Truth calls this a freak show and says the company is exploiting her. He makes fun of the idea of her being a performer and calls her a ho. She slaps Truth so he gets his belt, only to have Monty Brown jump him and knock Truth into the audience. Truth finds a 2×4 from somewhere and cracks it over Brown’s back.

As Brown is helped to the back, here’s Ricky Steamboat. He calls Truth Ron and says that Truth has his attention. Truth comes out and slaps the mic away from the Dragon. Steamboat grabs Truth’s mic and says that if this is about race, he’s here to listen to Truth talk. Truth says Steamboat means the same thing to the fans as he (Truth) does. Let’s talk about Steamboat’s WWF career, starting with Savage vs. Steamboat.

After that great match, why didn’t Steamboat get a WWF Title shot? It’s because the Intercontinental Title was just for second class citizens. Truth says that now he’s getting the same treatment, Steamboat AGREES and gives Truth a title shot next week. This would make a lot more sense if Steamboat hadn’t won the EXACT SAME TITLE Truth is getting a shot at just under two years after the Savage match.

Malice vs. Apolo

Apparently Apolo was supposed to be the #1 contender to Shamrock, which is news to me. Both guys pound away on each other in the corner with Apolo taking over. A powerslam sends Malice to the floor and there’s a big dive to take out Malice on the floor. Malice posts him as the announcers are talking about Truth’s title shot next week. Both guys are sent into the barricade and Apolo is busted open.

Back in and Malice puts on a Claw hold followed by a slam. He kicks on the cut on the head as Ferrara talks about liking Malice’s blood lust. Apolo grabs a quick rollup for two but gets forearmed in the face to take him back down. A DDT out of nowhere puts Malice down and a superkick gets the pin on Malice.

Rating: C+. Decent brawl here as Malice continues to fall further and further down the ladder. Apolo is a guy I liked back in the day and it’s a shame that he was gone like a week later. This was a short but hard hitting brawl and that was a pretty sweet superkick for the pin. When all else fails, kick the guy in the face.

Malice chokeslams the referee and as he sets to chokeslam Apolo, Don Harris runs out for the save again until Slash comes out and does the hooded neckbreaker on Harris. Mitchell tells Harris that he chose the wrong path and he gets the blood put on his face as well.

Don West gets in the ring to interview Miss TNA, Taylor Vaughn, who gets NO reaction. She isn’t even that good looking. Bruce comes out (no pun intended) and asks for a title match. Vaughn gets on her knees instead (remember that Bruce is gay) but hits him low to start the match.

Miss TNA: Bruce vs. Taylor Vaughn

Vaughn slams him, he clotheslines her, Bruce misses a legdrop but hits a tilt-a-whirl powerslam for the pin and the crowd. This was nothing and NO ONE cared.

Low Ki will do his talking in the ring.

Low Ki vs. Jerry Lynn

AJ is on commentary and talks about how the tag champions will work together. Jerry takes it to the mat to start and cranks on a headscissors until Low Ki kicks him in the head. Ki takes him to the mat instead and tries an armbar but Lynn sits out to escape. AJ won’t answer why he walked out on Lynn last week as Ki takes Lynn down with a leg lock. Jerry counters into an arm hold as we get some chain wrestling.

Lynn finally says screw this and hits an enziguri to take over. Low Ki tries some more kicks but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to take him down again. The idea of selling continues to not be something Low Ki favors as he shrugs it off and chops/kicks Lynn down some more. Low Ki stays on the back and hooks a modified Tarantula with kind of a rear naked choke instead of a Boston Crab.

Lynn comes back with an elbow and a knee drop for two. There’s a Gory Special from Jerry as AJ praises his partner. It’s amazing how much better AJ sounds now than he did here. Cradle Piledriver is countered into an armbar and Low Ki starts firing off his strikes. A jackknife cover gets two and it’s time for a strike off. A big springboard spin kick from Low Ki puts Jerry down for no cover.

Ki tries his cartwheel kick in the corner but gets caught in a helicopter bomb for two. A small package for Low Ki sets up the Dragon Sleeper but Jerry escapes into a tornado DDT for another very close two. The cradle piledriver is countered into a kick to the face and AJ gets off commentary. He gets on the apron and tries a kick to the head, but it hits Lynn, possibly by mistake. That’s a DQ…..or make that a no contest.

Rating: B-. How in the world is that a no contest? Lynn got kicked in the head and Low Ki never got touched. How is that an equal ending for both guys and not a DQ win for Jerry? Anyway, the match started a bit slow before it finally cranked up at the end. The crowd was rightfully losing it on those near falls and it made things a lot better.

AJ yells at Lynn post match but Low Ki kicks Styles in the head.

Don Harris wants a first blood match with Malice next week.

It’s time for Jive Talking with Glenn Gilbertti. The sign says Disco’s Jive Talking so maybe he can use the old name. He implies he’s replacing Oprah and talks about how there isn’t enough T&A on this show. Disco promises to bring out someone who will expose her breasts and brings out Goldilocks. Goldi is a musician so we talk about that for awhile with her saying she’s been called a female Kid Rock.

This goes on and isn’t really funny or interesting which I think is the point. Disco tells her to take her top off and another argument ensues. He implies her only talent involves kneepads so she knees him in the balls. Cue some big chick from the first season of Tough Enough to choke Goldilocks out. This went on way too long and wasn’t even funny at all.

The announcers hype the show for next week and West shouts a lot.

Scott Hall vs. Jeff Jarrett

Stretcher match. Hall jumps Jarrett on the stage and the beating is on fast. Jeff gets slammed into the steps and onto the announce table. They head into the ring and Hall hits the fallaway slam to send him right back to the floor. They head into the back and Jerry Lynn gets shoved. Hall gets hit with a stool from the previous segment and Jarrett tries to run away.

The fight goes into the crowd and Hall hits a big chair shot. We finally get into the ring and Hall brings in the stretcher (it’s the cloth kind with poles in it) but Jarrett hits a baseball slide to his ribs. Jeff hits Hall in the back with the stretcher and whips him into the stretcher in the corner a few times. Hall does the same thing right back to Jarrett and crotches him onto the poles.

A few shots to Jarrett’s back with the stretcher are followed by Snake Eyes onto it and Jeff is in trouble. There’s the Razor’s Edge but Truth comes out and pulls the referee to the floor. An ax kick puts Hall down but it only gets two. Monty Brown goes after Truth and they fight into the crowd. Now Jerry Lynn runs in to splash Jarrett in retaliation for earlier. AJ pops in and blasts Lynn before going up for Spiral Tap.

Now Don Harris comes out to crotch him but Malice and Slash take out Harris. Hall and Jarrett (remember them?) collide in the ring and they’re both down. Hall gets up and pounds Jarrett down but a stretcher shot hits the referee. Jarrett gets a chair but has to swing at Steamboat. The shot misses the Dragon and it hits the rope before bouncing back into Jarrett’s face. Hall gets the chair but Steamboat blocks it, allowing Jarrett to Stroke him onto the chair for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not only was the match WAY overbooked, but what the heck was the point of the stretcher? Hall got placed on it post match, but is that supposed to mean something? This didn’t do anything at all as Hall was just not interesting as he didn’t really have a character or anything like that. He’s just kind of there and that’s not very interesting.

Overall Rating: C-. This didn’t work that well for me. It feels like a long stretch of segments that happen to be happening on the same show rather than a single show if that makes sense. Everything seems like it’s thrown together and Hall and Shamrock, the two top faces, are just kind of floating around aimlessly. That’ll change next week which is a good thing, but it didn’t do much to help this show.

 Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




TNA Weekly PPV #6: The Most Boring Ladder Match I Can Remember In A Long Time

TNA Weekly PPV #6
Date: July 24, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West, Ed Ferrara

Back to Tennessee for another pair of shows. The main event tonight is Sabu challenging Shamrock in a ladder/submission match which is a new one on me. On top of that we have Styles/Lynn defending the titles against the Flying Elvises which was set up last week I believe. These shows are finally getting some traction and they’re starting to fill in a lot of their flaws. Let’s get to it.

We open with Jarrett in the ring and he beats up some security guards with a chair. He isn’t leaving until Shamrock gets out here with Jarrett’s title. In the back we see Shamrock destroying security as well. Shamrock locks all of the security in a room and has a massive British dude guard the door. Shamrock heads to the ring but some suit comes out to talk to Jarrett first. Apparently this is the NWA VP and he’s suspending Jarrett for 60 days. This would be his second suspension in about three weeks. Oh the suit is Bill Behrens.

He threatens Jarrett with security, which is locked in a room. Jarrett cracks Behrens with the chair and beats him with it a bit more. Shamrock FINALLY comes out and destroys Jarrett until Monty Brown and Apolo pull Ken off. Jarrett uses the distraction to bash Shamrock with a chair. Brian Lawler and K-Krush come out to stop Jarrett. I smell a six man.

Amazing Red vs. Low Ki

Tenay talks about how important this is for the rankings. Didn’t we already establish the rankings a few weeks back? We head to the floor almost immediately with Red hitting a sweet rana to take over. Back in and Low Ki looks a bit insane before hitting a Liger Kick to take over. An elbow drop gets two and it’s off to a cravate. A springboard enziguri to the face gets two and HOKEY SMOKE LOW KI USED A SUPLEX!!! I don’t think I’ve ever seen him use one before.

Red gets put in the Tree of Woe and a baseball slide gets two for Ki. Red fires off some kicks in the corner but Low Ki blocks the next few and kicks Red’s hat off. A leg sweep from Red takes Low Ki down and a standing shooting star gets two. A swinging sunset flip gets the same and they’re both back to their feet. Red’s tornado DDT is countered but he avoids some stomps from Low Ki. It’s time for some gymnastics and an enziguri from Red takes Ki down. A big corkscrew moonsault misses for Red and the Ki Krusher 99 (sitout fisherman’s brainbuster) gets the pin for Low Ki.

Rating: C+. I’m not a fan of Low Ki but he was WAY over in early TNA. Red was a great flipper and that’s all you need to be to secure an occasional spot on a card like this one. This was fine for an opener here and the match was fine all things considered. Low Ki would become the first ROH World Champion three days later.

Jarrett goes up to the big British guy and backs down.

Hot Shots vs. Chris Harris/James Storm

Hot Shots are Cassidy O’Reilley and Chase Stevens. No name yet for the future AMW. Earlier today we hear from AMW that it was the Hot Shots that attacked them a few weeks back. Storm is WAY over the top with his cowboy stuff here, to the point where he’s not funny anymore. Storm has fake guns on his hips and Harris yells about how stupid this gimmick is. It’s hilarious that Storm would become world champion while Harris is nowhere to be seen.

Storm and O’Reilley start with the Cowboy taking over early. Harris gets a blind tag and spears Riley down before it’s off to Stevens who is suplexed down for two. Back to Storm who is sent to the floor and sent into the barricade before being sent back in for two from Stevens. The Hot Shots hit a double dropkick with one kick hitting both sides of Storm’s head for two.

Cassidy gets a few not very near falls as it’s clear the Hot Shots don’t have much of an offense. Stevens was supposed to miss a moonsault but Storm rolls too slow and gets hit on the back. Hot tag brings in Harris and everything breaks down. A spinning reverse DDT from Storm takes O’Reilley out and Harris counters a tornado DDT into a northern lights suplex for the pin on Stevens.

Rating: D+. To say this was a weak feud buildup is an understatement. The Hot Shots just weren’t that good and AMW needed way better competition. It was clear they were one of if not the best teams in the company already, but it would take a few months before they were treated as such.

The Hot Shots beat up AMW post match.

Shamrock shoves a doctor away and wants Jarrett.

Apolo vs. Brian Lawler

Brian gets chants of Jerry’s Kid which are a bit shaking as this is being written the day after Lawler had a heart attack on Raw. Both guys toss each other around a bit with Lawler freaking out both times. Apolo pounds away in the corner as the announcers talk about who should be #1 contender. Lawler chokes away with a necklace in the corner and gets two knees up to block an Apolo splash. A middle rope dropkick puts Apolo down but Lawler stops to laugh at the crowd.

Off to a chinlock as that’s about the extent of Lawler’s Memphis offense. Apolo fights up (by fights I mean stands up) and makes a comeback with some Hogan style offense including a slam and legdrop. A not-Hoganesque superkick sets up a TKO attempt which is countered by Lawler into a reverse DDT for no cover. Lawler dances around a lot and is rolled up for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. Lawler is really dull as a heel. I get that he was good in Memphis and the USWA as a heel, but this isn’t Memphis or the USWA. It’s post-Too Cool for him and based on that, this character just isn’t working. We know he wants to form his own career without being known as Jerry’s kid, and his method for doing this is constantly talking about Jerry Lawler. The problem with this (aside from the fact that he already did this by being Grandmaster Sexay) is that there is no chance Jerry Lawler is coming here for a payoff to the angle. Without that, it makes a story feel like it has no conclusion, and that makes it pointless.

Lawler snaps and beats up Don West post match. Tenay keeps telling us there’s no security tonight, which makes me ask: what was the point in Shamrock locking them away? To get at Jarrett? I guess so but it’s kind of a weak way to get to the show long angle they’re going with.

Here’s K-Krush and we get a recap of him choking Norman Smiley and others last week. Krush says his name is no longer K-Krush but now The Truth. He isn’t going to do what they tell him to do anymore and it’s all about the Truth. This is getting a big face reaction. He talks about Allen Iverson (nicknamed The Truth) a lot and calls him a criminal. He calls Iverson the best basketball player ever and Tyson the best boxer ever. People think Tyson is an animal but he’s just great. More athletes are listed, including O.J. Simpson, until he gets interrupted by Monty Brown.

Brown (coming out to Abyss’ music) makes fun of Truth for complaining and says don’t go where Truth is leading. He’s talking about racism if that doesn’t come over clearly. Brown talks about being a football player and walking away from it before coming to the NWA. “They” are making this a possibility for him and maybe Truth just doesn’t have what it takes. Truth says no to a fight before calling Brown an Uncle Tom and jumping Brown. Monty tosses him away with ease and hits the Alpha Bomb.

We recap Lynn and Styles’ tag title reign and the problems they’ve been having.

We get a sitdown interview from earlier with the tag champions. AJ talks about being young and hungry but says he respects Lynn. Lynn is a veteran and he says AJ has to earn everything he gets, which AJ realizes as well.

Tag Titles: Flying Elvises vs. Jerry Lynn/AJ Styles

It’s Estrada and Yang for the Elvises with Siaki on commentary. Lynn and Estrada start things off and Jorge is sent into the corner very quickly via an armdrag. Estrada comes back with a side slam but misses a Lionsault. A spinning Gory Special by Lynn doesn’t seem to do much and they trade headscissors. Off to AJ who hits a sweet spin kick for two but then gets sent into the middle buckle via a headscissors.

Yang comes in and maybe he’ll actually sell something. Styles nips up into another headscissors and takes Yang down with a belly to back suplex for two. Back to Lynn as the champions stay on offense. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Jerry and it’s back to Styles. Yang tries a tombstone but Styles counters with, you guessed it, a headscissors. Yang finally gets his knees up to stop a cross body and the Elvises take over.

Everything goes to the floor and Siaki interferes with a clothesline to give the challengers their first real advantage. Yang hooks a modified Koji Clutch before bringing Estrada back in. The Elvises tag in and out rapidly and hit suplexes and flip attacks for two after two. AJ hooks a small package for two but gets clotheslined down by Estrada again. A spinebuster gets two for Estrada and Yang hits a slingshot hilo for two.

Yang hooks an abdominal stretch on AJ which doesn’t last long either. The moonsault into the DDT puts Yang down but Estrada breaks up the tag to Lynn. AJ gets beaten on even more before FINALLY hitting a kick to the face of Yang to break free and tag in Lynn. Lynn speeds things way up and dropkicks Yang to the floor, followed by a big plancha. Estrada dives on them both and here’s AJ for the big dive, but Siaki pulls the challengers out and Styles hits Lynn, busting Lynn open on the barricade.

The Elvises hit a top rope splash/legdrop and SWEET GOODNESS is Lynn bleeding bad! I mean his face is COVERED. Lynn can’t stand up but he manages a quick shot to Estrada for the pin while Styles is ready for the Spiral Tap on Yang, meaning Lynn stole a pin just like AJ did recently.

Rating: B-. This was pure formula, but the good thing is that the standard tag formula works very well. Lynn vs. Styles works very well and it’s being played out very well. For a new company, this is the perfect midcard feud and it’s working incredibly well. Good stuff again here which is all you would expect from these guys.

Styles storms off immediately and leaves Lynn laying.

Disco Inferno now gets a talk show. He’s going by his real name of Glenn Gilbertti here and takes credit for Goldberg’s first loss and retiring Jumping Joey Maggs. He rambles on a bit about a bikini contest and says there’s nothing else for him to do in wrestling. Gilberti says he’s going to teach Shamrock what personality is and how to make Lynn look young. Starting next week he’s going to unlock the door to logic. This is the most rambling I’ve heard this side of a drunk Piper promo. I think he’s supposed to be a motivational speaker or something.

Shamrock is still looking for Jarrett.

Simon Diamond/Johnny Swinger vs. Elix Skipper/Monty Brown

Simon and Swinger were a regular tag team in the last days of ECW. Skipper and Simon start things off with Skipper getting a bunch of fast two counts. Brown comes in for a double dropkick and Skipper starts pounding away again, only to get caught in a double dropkick. That’s fair play if nothing else. Swinger hits a neckbreaker for two and it’s back to Simon for some suplexes for two of his own.

We get some heel miscommunication and Skipper hits a pair of superkicks to take them down. Off to Brown with no heat to the tag and he cleans house. Everything breaks down and an MNM Snapshot takes Skipper down but he isn’t legal. Brown hits a quick Alpha Bomb (it starts off like a slam but he throws the guy up into a powerbomb) for the pin on Diamond.

Rating: D+. Nothing special here at all but Brown was getting a decent push to open his run in the company. Simon and Swinger didn’t last long at all but they were somewhat known names and could fill in some spots on the roster I guess. Just a basic match here though and not much worth seeing.

Post match Truth comes out and hangs Brown as Elix just walks out. It was a setup 30 minutes in the making!

The Dupps continue to not be funny. Bo challenges the big British guy. To call this stupid would be an insult to the people stupid people call stupid.

Bo Dupp vs. Ian Harrison

That’s the big guy’s name. Harrison used to be Mr. Universe and therefore is a McMahon wet dream waiting to happen. The hick fans chant for Bo but this is basically a squash. Harrison is clearly there for his look but he’s not the worst muscle head I’ve ever seen. Bo gets in some offense but walks into a powerslam for two. Stan Dupp runs in for the DQ a second later. This went nowhere at all.

Shamrock and Jarrett have a pull apart brawl as security is finally out of the locker room.

NWA World Title: Sabu vs. Ken Shamrock

This a ladder/submission match, which is exactly what it sounds like. After a LONG recap of last week’s ladder match with Sabu vs. Malice, we’re ready to go. The fans seem to be completely behind Sabu here. Shamrock controls to start and goes for a leg hold but Sabu makes the rope. Sabu gets a quick rollup for two so the rules are basically thrown out the window so far. Apparently security has walked out of the building. Not like it makes a difference or anything.

Shamrock grabs an armbar but Sabu gets out before it can go on full. Sabu actually tries a leg lock but Shamrock is like boy please and counters into a leg bar. The springboard leg lariat takes Shamrock down and the slingshot legdrop looks to set up an armbar. I don’t think the pins count anymore. Apparently Ricky Steamboat is in charge next week.

Sabu gets knocked to the floor and we get the first ladder brought in with like four minutes left. The ladder gets kicked into Sabu’s face before it gets into the ring. Sabu and Shamrock brawl up the ramp with Sabu being through into one of the mini cages near the stage. Sabu is busted open but he manages to send Shamrock into the barricade.

It’s table time but the springboard flip dive by Sabu misses Shamrock, sending Sabu through the table on the ramp. Cool looking dive though. FINALLY a ladder is brought in but as Shamrock goes up, Malice runs in and chokeslams him down. Malice gets the belt itself and leaves to end the show.

Rating: D. Other than a few spots from Sabu, this was really boring. They had a no contest in a ladder match. That’s hard to do but they managed to do it here. Shamrock is a really boring champion but thankfully he’ll only have the title for a few more weeks. This is the last match Sabu would have with the company for almost a year and it’s a shame he couldn’t go out on the one he had last week which was way better.

Overall Rating: C+. You have to remember that this company isn’t even two months old yet. Factoring in that, this is a pretty remarkable performance as they’ve gotten rid of about 80% of the dumb stuff (the Dupps still are insanely annoying) and have some solid stories going on. It’s going to take a LONG time before they get anything significant going on, but these early days aren’t terrible by any stretch.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Night Raw – April 1, 2002: Only An April Fool Would Like This Show

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 1, 2002
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was requested for some reason that I can’t remember. It’s the first show after the Draft and Flair is officially in charge. I’m assuming that’s the reason, but why anyone would want to see a show from 2002 is beyond me. Anyway, the main thing tonight is finding out where Austin is signing, and considering that pretty much EVERY face of value is on Smackdown, the answer shouldn’t be that hard. Let’s get to it.

If you’re interested in seeing how this show was set up via the Draft, here’s the review of it:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/10/11/monday-night-raw-march-25-2002-first-wwe-draft/

We open with Flair in the back holding the Undisputed World Title. He says this is the beginning of a new era and he’s going to do everything he can to ensure Austin signs with Raw. Also he’s going to present the new title belt to HHH.

Across the Nation debuts as the new Raw theme song.

The Titantron is the tilted one now instead of the regular rectangle. I think you call that a parallelogram.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T

Rob is defending. The idea that everything is new is being pushed strongly here. Feeling out process to start with Rob taking over via a hurricanrana. The stepover spin kick puts Booker down again but Rob charges into a hot shot to give Booker control. A knee drop sets up a chinlock by the challenger as things slow down. Van Dam comes back with some forearms and a monkey flip followed by the top rope kick for two.

Booker gets in a shot to the ribs but the ax kick misses. Rolling Thunder misses as well and there’s the Spinarooni and a side kick for two. The twisting sunset flip out of the corner gets two and a superkick puts Van Dam down. Booker loads up a superplex but gets knocked off and the Five Star retains the title. That was a quick ending.

Rating: C-. This was pedestrian to put it best. The match wasn’t bad or anything but it felt like they were just a step ahead of going through the motions out there. It’s not a bad match or anything like that, but even for a TV match this wasn’t that good. The ending didn’t help anything either.

Post match Eddie Guerrero returns after being off TV for almost a year earlier to beat up Van Dam.

Here’s Vince because he was gone from Raw for over six days and that’s too long. He’s here to pitch to Austin about coming to Smackdown. Security comes out but Vince won’t leave, so here’s Flair. Vince says money will talk with Austin so Flair throws Vince out. Vince won’t leave, so Flair says he’ll get Austin to come to Raw and we get a poll from the audience. Vince still won’t leave so Big Show comes out and carries him to the back. This accomplished nothing other than wasting about five minutes.

After a break we see more of Vince being carried out. What is the point of this? Vince has a mic with him for no apparent reason. He tries to take it back but Show literally throws him out of the building.

William Regal vs. Spike Dudley

Regal is European Champion but this is non-title. Regal is doing the brass knuckles thing at this point and slips them into a turnbuckle. Nick Patrick steals them back when Regal isn’t looking, so I’d bet on a fishy ending. Regal pounds Spike down with ease and beats him up for a bit with Spike trying to use speed where he can. A half nelson suplex sends Spike to the floor which goes nowhere. Back in Regal goes for the knuckles but can’t find them. Spike hits the Dudley Dog out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: D. Another dull match here as no one cared about the European Title at this point. Not that the title was on the line, but it set up a rematch for the belt next week which Spike would win before dropping it back to Regal a month later. The title would be gone in July so it’s not like this mattered for the most part. Nothing match either.

The NWO goes to what used to be the APA’s office and take it over. Keep in mind that the APA broke up on Smackdown and left their office in disarray and it’s in the same kind of disarray here on Raw, even with the cards on the floor.

Crash tells Bradshaw what just happened and he’s not pleased. Jackie leaves with Bradshaw and no one cares.

Trish is getting ready by bending over when Terri comes in. Trish is on the cover of the Divas magazine and Terri isn’t happy. Flair comes in and makes a paddle on a pole match.

Debra is outside Austin’s locker room and says Austin will decide tonight.

Bradshaw tries to beat up the NWO but the numbers catch up with him.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Raven is defending. Bubba takes over to start and drops some elbows before sending Raven to the floor. Our first weapons: a bag of oranges. Bubba stops to juggle and then blasts Raven in the head. Bird Boy comes back with a crutch and we head back inside. The Bubba Bomb is countered by a low blow and Raven beats on Ray with trashcan lids. A sleeper from Raven is countered by a stop sign shot as Lawler talks about the paddle match. Apparently the girls will be in bikinis.

Ray gets two off a Samoan Drop but Raven sprays him with a fire extinguisher while Bubba is loading up the backsplash. Ray doesn’t get down though and after a trashcan lid shot to Raven, the backsplash ACTUALLY HITS but only gets two. Not that it matters as the Bubba Bomb gets Bubba the title a few seconds later.

Rating: C. To give you an idea of what the Hardcore Title was doing in 2002, Ray won his first title here and would win his seventh before May. The title would change hands over 140 times in 2002, and it was retired in August. Think about that for a minute. Anyway, this was the start of Ray being built up over the summer before being fed to Lesnar and HHH, which probably was the right move.

Vince is on the phone in his limo. He says he’s not leaving and he’s signing Austin tonight.

Here’s Flair with the Undisputed Title to present to HHH. Flair talks about how important the title is and asks HHH to come out here but instead it’s Undertaker. He doesn’t like what’s going on here because Flair is insulting him by doing this. Taker says he should be champion because he beat Flair at Mania. Uh…ok. The fans give him the WHAT chant so Taker says to say what if you like to sleep with your own sister. Audience: WHAT! Note to self: don’t go to Albany to pick up women.

Oh wait there’s another reason Taker should be champion: he beat HHH at Mania, a year ago to the day actually. Taker thinks that’s showing him up and disrespecting him. The big man takes off the coat but here’s HHH. I’ve always liked the Undisputed Title but the big eagle one, as in the Attitude Era title and the Big Gold Belt are just perfect looking.

HHH says he’s the champion and that Taker can’t beat him again. Taker asks for a title match at Backlash and HHH says it’s on. HHH wants to fight now but Taker bails. The match would never happen because Smackdown got the first title match on PPV. Obviously that begs the question of why this segment took place, and the obvious answer is it’s 2002 Raw.

Hardy Boys vs. Mr. Perfect/Big Bossman

That’s quite the heel team. The Hardys’ music sounds faster here. Apparently it’s just Boss Man now. Jeff is sent to the floor and the two dead guys double team the brothers. Boss Man and Matt start with the Hardy in trouble. Boss Man misses a charge in the corner and starts drooling. Off to Jeff and the Hardys botch a double team move on Boss Man. To say this isn’t clicking is an understatement. A spinebuster from Boss Man gets two on Jeff as Matt saves. Perfect is sent to the floor and the Twist/Swanton pins Boss Man.

Rating: D. This was probably the worst Hardys match I can remember in years. They just weren’t clicking at all out there and the match was a total mess. It’s hard to suggest that Perfect and Boss Man were the problem as they aren’t known to be sloppy. Nothing to see here at all and the match basically sucked.

Post match, Brock Lesnar comes out and destroys the Hardys. He had only debuted two weeks ago so this was still new stuff.

Terri vs. Trish Stratus

Paddle on a pole. They’re in bikinis and I think you can figure this one out for yourself. Trish wins in like 80 seconds. Nothing of note happened in between.

Molly comes out and beats up Trish with the paddle before Terri can get spanked. This is a heel turn for Molly.

Vince still can’t get back inside.

Austin wants Flair to let Vince in the building so he can hear Vince’s pitch.

We get a clip from Smackdown with Rock, Hogan and Kane getting ready for a six man. Kane: “Rock are you ready tonight?” Rock: “Well…” Kane: “IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU’RE READY!” Rock’s reaction is priceless, as is his reaction when Kane calls his fans Kannanites.

Kane vs. X-Pac

Pac attacks in the corner but Kane slams him down with ease. A gorilla press has X-Pac bouncing off the mat but he comes back with an enziguri to take Kane down to his knees. A sidewalk slam from Kane looks to set up a top rope clothesline but a distraction from Hall stops the big man. We head to the floor so the NWO can double and triple team Kane which somehow doesn’t get noticed by the referee.

Back in and Kane launches X-Pac through the ropes on a kickout, which is the problem with X-Pac wrestling guys Kane’s size: it’s almost ridiculous to think the offense is going to work. A missile dropkick puts Kane down and with Hall’s help, the Bronco Buster hits. Kane powerslams Pac down after shrugging off the offense and hits the top rope clothesline. Not that it matters as the NWO runs in for the DQ before the chokeslam hits.

Rating: D+. I know the guy is talented, but man alive I’m not a fan of X-Pac against bigger guys. This just didn’t work at all, just like their matches in 1999, as it’s hard to buy X-Pac as a physical threat to Kane when Rock can barely knock the guy down. Nothing to see here and the NWO never went anywhere on Raw.

Bradshaw makes the save post match. Kane’s pyro takes like 15 seconds to go off for some reason.

Vince is back inside.

Here’s Flair with a contract to offer Austin. Vince comes out with a contract of his own and I don’t see this being much of interest. Vince talks about his intellectual sperm inventing pro wrestling (I kid you not he actually said that) and talks about inventing Pay Per View 16 years ago (it was 17 when their first PPV aired but whatever). Austin finally comes out to shut Vince up.

Vince immediately sucks up to Austin by praising the new WHAT shirt. Austin doesn’t care but asks about Vince’s contract. We get the WHAT stuff for a bit when it was still relatively new. Austin reminds Vince of all the issues they’ve had in the past and asks Flair if Flair wants Austin to come to Raw. After doing his best Daniel Bryan impression and saying YES about ten times, Flair gets nowhere. Both offers intrigue Austin but he agrees to sign with Vince. Vince gloats but Austin reminds him that it’s April Fool’s Day and there’s a Stunner for Vince. Austin and Flair drink, Flair gets stunned, Austin signs with Raw to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Read those last two paragraphs. That took almost thirteen minutes to get through. That sums up this whole show: a lot of time being wasted with almost nothing at all being accomplished. Raw in 2002 was nothing but a nightmare with Austin being the only top face on the show and he was a shell of his former self. The Brand Split took a long time to work and it never got to a point where it was great at all. Terrible show here with short and bad matches and an ending that doesn’t mean much of anything, given how obvious it was that Austin was coming to Raw.




History of Summerslam Count-Up – 2002: One Of The Best Shows Ever

Summerslam 2002
Date: August 25, 2002
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 14,797
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Jim Ross

Another year and more changes have occurred. The main one is simple: the Brand Split. Yes, Raw and Smackdown are now two separate shows etc. However, there is an Undisputed World Champion and his name is the Rock. He’s defending tonight against the greatest rookie sensation of all time: Brock Lesnar. No one had EVER seen anything like Brock and they likely never will. He took the company and the business by storm, winning the shot by beating RVD in the KOTR final.

There were even rumblings that he could actually win the title tonight but that could never happen. What a silly idea. Your other main event is the return of HBK, facing HHH in what is considered a classic. This show is considered to be a rival to Wrestlemania 17 as the greatest WWF PPV of all time, or at least of the new millennium. Now I watched this show a few months after it aired and I remember it being good but not great. Let’s see if this is as good as it’s built up to be.

Oh also, two months prior to this, a new branch of the National Wrestling Alliance debuted: NWA: TNA.

Oh it’s also WWE now.

No opening video this year. That kind of sucks.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

No real buildup here other than they don’t like each other. Given the amount of matches that they have to put together now, that’s the sacrifice that they had to make I suppose. Angle is wearing red and white stripes with a blue star, making him look like a barber pole. This was back when Rey’s knees weren’t falling apart yet and was close to what he was in WCW, which is to say, amazing. This is about as perfect of a pairing as you could want.

Rey is fast enough to wrestle with heavyweights, while Kurt is small enough and versatile enough to keep up with him. Going for Rey’s ankle makes sense as it could ground him and take away his best asset, so what’s not to like? My answer: nothing. This has been a  good match so far. The fans are very hot for this too so that’s always a perk. Rey keeps getting closer and closer here but Angle keeps getting up.

What you have to keep in mine here is that at the time, Rey wasn’t a huge star like he is now. He was a rookie that only had a handful of experience outside of the cruiserweight ranks. Think of him like a better Evan Bourne and think of Angle like Jericho. Imagine Bourne and Jericho opening a PPV and Bourne getting so close every time but just not being able to put Jericho away, but Jericho can’t win either. That’s where you get this match.

These guys are killing each other out there and it’s great, as neither can put the other away. Rey gets Angle on the floor but the referee won’t let him dive. Rey says screw it and jumps over the referee and lands on Angle in a sweet looking front flip (Do a barrel roll!).

619 (which in WCW wasn’t an attack but rather a fake out) and West Coast Pop get two as Rey doesn’t know what to do. Rey goes up top and flips forward to avoid Kurt and goes for a hurricanrana. Angle more or less jumps forward and grabs the ankle. He goes to the middle and just cranks on it until Rey taps.

Rating: A+. Awesome match. That’s the only way to describe this. These two just went out there and did it. This was back when Rey was relatively healthy before his knees just got destroyed. He’s still good now, but back then he was insane. Rey in WCW was the most fun I’ve ever had watching a wrestler.

If you think Bourne is good, Rey from back then would run circles around him. This was as close as Rey ever got to that in WWE, and it was great. Find this match and watch it as it’s absolutely great. Screw it, this gets an A+.

Stephanie is mad that Bischoff is in her office but she agrees to share it with him for the night, as she proves she just can’t act. She does have nice legs though.

Ross and Lawler are talking about the show, but for some reason they had them really far away from the ring back then. It made no sense to me and just looked odd.

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Again, no backstory. We get a clip from them fighting on Raw, including Flair breaking all of Fozzy’s equipment, but it’s never explained why they’re fighting in the first place. This was when Flair was still fairly mobile and not all old and disturbing looking. He was only 52 and still could be decent in the ring. Being in there with Jericho is going to help as Jericho can wrestle Flair’s style, and is smart enough to know how to wrestle a Flair match.

See, Flair is considered one of the best of all time because he knew what he did best and it worked with anyone. Flair had a formula, and all he had to do was plug his opponent into that formula for the majority of the match and then have the finish. This was exactly what he did throughout his career in WCW and it hardly ever failed. Yes, Flair’s matches are pretty standard, but they’re also pretty good. I mean his stuff from when he was in his prime mind you.

Go back and watch some of that stuff from the NWA in the mid to late 80s and tell me if you can find a truly bad match. Now not everything is going to be a classic of course, but he hardly ever had a truly bad match. On the rare occasions that he did, it was because the other guy wanted to run the style of the match, which traditionally meant Dusty Rhodes. Rhodes was notorious for insisting on having his style of match, which worked for him and him alone.

Go watch their Starrcade matches and you’ll see what I mean. It’s just not looking like a normal Flair match and it just isn’t that good. Granted, this could be because Dusty just was awful in the ring as he couldn’t go for more than 5 minutes without resting. He was lazy on a freaking snapmare in that match. It’s one of the most basic moves in wrestling and he’s lazy with it.

Anyway, the point of this rant was that at the end of the day, the reason Flair’s stuff was bad near the end of his career was the matches stopped playing to his strengths and became based on what the other guy could do. Flair made a career out of taking a guy that was good and making him great by making him look great.

Look at Sting. He was a good wrestler, but his rivalry with Flair is where he got noticed, because Flair made him look great. In WWE, Vince didn’t let this happen and it caused Flair to look bad and the guys that were against Flair didn’t look as good as they could have.

Ok, rant over at least for now. Once I get going in those things I just can’t stop. For some reason we don’t have Flair’s normal music. It’s the weird imitation that he had back in 92. We’re a minute into this match and they’re already talking about how he beat Rock and Austin in one night. My goodness that is never going to leave. It’s a huge deal but good grief let it die. The WOOS are loud tonight.

This is a stat that blew me away. Jericho has been around for a LONG time right? He was 2 when Flair debuted. That’s just ridiculous. Flair has been wrestling almost as long as Jericho, a veteran at this point, had been alive. Jericho calls a spot to Flair in fairly obvious fashion. He just leans over and whispers it to him. It’s scary to think that Flair, at 52, has miles better cardio than most of the roster in their 20s and 30s. This match has been very physical to say the least.

There are so many little things that Flair does that show why he’s great. It’s not a bunch of big impressive moves with a few botches here or there. It’s a simple, basic style that has practically zero mistakes in it. In other words, it’s not about what he’s doing well. It’s about what he’s not doing wrong. Then the little things like getting the referee looking somewhere else to use a bunch of punches. He plays to the crowd well too.

How sad is it that so many people today would be clueless about how to do this? We get a cool sequence where Flair goes for the Boston Crab and Jericho gets a figure four, showing how fairly stupid it is to have finishers like that which almost anyone can do. That’s why I like the liontamer, the one with the knee in the back, more. No one else uses it. Apparently over time the amount of points that the figure four puts pressure on has gone from 5 in Gordon Solie’s days to 7 now.

In a brilliant move, Flair grabs the ropes and taps. The thing is, since the hold should be broken, the submission can’t count. That’s a very smart thing to do as it buys him a lot of time. Referee gets a thumb in the eye, or maybe a short knee (rep for the first person that gets what I’m talking about) allowing Flair to low blow Jericho and put on the figure four. Anyone think it’s a bit sexual looking when Flair bounces up and down while in it? Yeah I never thought that either. Jericho taps.

Rating: B. While not as good as the other match, this was still very solid. As good as Flair is though, I’m not sure I’m sold on him practically beating Jericho, who was world champion earlier in the year, clean. It was a very good match with Flair being the better of the two, but still, it just had me kind of wondering.

Promo for Hogan DVD.

Heyman is with Lesnar and talks about him ending Hogan’s career. Lesnar is a freaking tank.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Dang 3 matches and 6 world champions. Again, very limited backstory here as they just don’t have the time to do it. As awesome as Edge’s old music was, he desperately needs something more hardcore at this point. He’s rocking the glasses and the trench coat though so you can see the future Edge trying to get out. However, in less than 6 months he’d be out for over a year, so that kind of got put on hold.

Apparently Eddie is upset about Edge being popular and a sex symbol (really?). That’s almost creepy given who Edge would be married to on WWE TV. Just as I say that about Edge’s injury, he might have gotten hurt. He has a bit of a stinger according to Tazz, who would know something about having a Steve Borden. If he is hurt, Eddie doesn’t seem to care at all.

In case you didn’t know, Edge is a HUGE face here and way over with the crowd. Apparently it’s Edge’s shoulder….er neck…..maybe shoulder…..can the commentators make up their stupid minds?? Either way, Eddie is crushing him right now. Eddie is just going insane on Edge’s shoulder, so if nothing else we have a simple story going on that works really well. If nothing else, how can Edge spear someone if his shoulder is killing him without hurting himself really badly?

The main thing of this match is nothing more than Eddie working over the shoulder. Frog Splash misses but after a brief Edge comeback including the Impaler, Eddie hits a splash down onto the shoulder. Of course, because he’s the charismatic face though, Edge is able to spear Eddie without his arm falling off for the pin.

Rating: C+. The ending just ruined this for me. I got into Eddie’s shoulder work, but then when Edge more or less no sold it at the end, it was a total waste in my eyes. What’s the point in working an injury and taking away a guy’s finishing move if the other guy is just going to no sell it and use his move anyway? That was just bad and made me shake my head, which sucks as the match was pretty good.

Tag Titles: UnAmericans vs. Booker T/Goldust

Now this was a gimmick that I thought was very solid. Christian and Lance Storm represent the UnAmericans here, with Test being the third member of the trio. In short: they don’t like America. They were given the tag titles but very soon after this the gimmick was just completely dropped. I’ve never quite gotten why though. Either way, the odd thing here was that Booker and Goldust were also a team, yet they have absolutely nothing in common.

Hearing the announcers try to give them something in common really is quite funny. The fact that they’re both from Texas never really seemed to sink in. Either way, they were a fairly decent team, albeit they were far more comedic than serious, but Booker would be pushed towards the title picture soon and then put into a serious team with RVD, so all is good I suppose.

Anyway, on with the match. Hearing Lawler try desperately to make Booker and Goldust pro-America is rather interesting, as he compares them to the Great American Melting Pot without ever referring to it as such. The USA chants are really loud to say the least, so if nothing else the heels are drawing heat like they’re supposed to be. Ross’ repetition is nothing short of annoying.

Goldust hits a Bossman Slam as I try to come up with a connection between those two and it’s not working. We get a classic ref didn’t see the tag spot which needs to be done more often. It’s as simple of a way to draw heat as there is in a tag match. This crowd is HOT. Booker gets his own chant as he’s clearly the big star in this match. We knew he was a big deal, but they didn’t push him as such until March, when he was fed to HHH.

Oddly enough, HHH had everyone on the planet fed to him until tonight when he let Shawn, his old buddy, have a classic with him. It’s not like these jokes have no basis in reality, but I’ll save that rant for later…maybe. Anyway, Booker finally gets the hot tag to a huge pop. He throws chops at Christian so fast that the crowd can’t WOO fast enough. That’s actually pretty impressive.

Booker hits his missile dropkick which would have won him the world title in WCW but since this is the WWF and Christian is for some reason popular, he kicks out at two. It always amazes me how a finishing move can just lose its power over the course of a year. Booker spins up as Mark Madden gets another ego boost.

The faces dominate for a good while until Test runs out and kicks Booker’s head off to keep the titles for the heels. On replay, we see the referee looking right at Test leaving as Booker is left lying. Yeah that makes sense. The Smackdown tag titles would be debuted in about two months.

Rating: C-. This was about as cookie cutter of a match as you could have imagined. While it’s ok, it’s just ok. Booker and Goldust would eventually get the titles later on in January for all of two weeks. It wasn’t bad, but just not great.

Nidia does some stupid thing at the World, which is the new name for WWF New York.

Eric and Stephanie make some stupid sex jokes.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Benoit vs. RVD

This is cross promotional, so we have two announcers which is both kind of cool and kind of stupid. Benoit and Eddie have been jumping rosters lately, going from Raw where he won the title to Smackdown. The US Title on Smackdown was about a year away at this point, so there was only the midcard title on Smackdown. Van Dam kicks the freaking heck out of Benoit to start, so you know this is going to be physical to say the least.

This was a weird time for these two as Van Dam was kind of replacing Angle in the triad of the midcard. You always had Benoit and Jericho, but Angle was always a step ahead of those two, and eventually as he was phased up into the main event, Van Dam was thrown into the middle of the card more or less as an experiment and I’d say that it was a success. Frog splash misses and Benoit gets the crossface, which he locks on for about 30 seconds.

No tap though as we’re really just getting going. Over the course of the next 5 minutes or so, Benoit gets another two crossfaces on Van Dam who STILL doesn’t tap as we’re entering HBK at Mania 12 territories of not giving up. In a nice touch of comedy (in my eyes at least), Van Dam locks in the crossface, at least I think that’s what it is although he never was one for submission holds, on Benoit.

This lasts all of 4 seconds though as Benoit is the master of it so why wouldn’t he be able to get out of it? I’m not wild on the two matches with focus on the shoulder like this, but in this case it makes much more sense with Benoit’s finisher focusing on the shoulder. I guess with Eddie and Edge it made sense due to some psychology being thrown in, but I’m still not wild about it at all.

In something I never once remember seeing before, Van Dam’s hair tie comes undone and his hair is freely flowing. I’ve never seen that before and I really don’t like it. He looks almost like Tyler Reks with it like that, which works fine for the surfer, but it just doesn’t look right on Robbie V. I’m thinking I forgot a Ross joke here. That’s going to bother me now. The ending here is just not that great.

Benoit has a belly to back suplex countered as Van Dam rolls over onto him and lands in kind of a cross body/splash. In a very nice looking move, Van Dam looks down at Benoit from the top rope with Benoit’s feet pointing to him. He turns in the air and lands a Five Star for the pin and the title. Really not huge on that ending, as it’s just kind of there. There’s not a lot of drama as Van Dam just jumps up and hits the splash and pins him. However, a guy winning a title clean is a very refreshing thing to see. There was no interference or anything. Van Dam simply countered and hit his finishing move to get the pin. That’s both good and bad I guess, but the rest of the match was good so I’ll take it.

Rating: B. This was very intense and well done. It’s probably Van Dam’s biggest win of his career up to that point and is probably one of the biggest of his career even to this day, with the world title obviously being ahead of it. He beat Benoit, one of the best ever, clean. If that’s not validation of his ability at least on one night, I don’t know what is. Very good match though and worth checking out.

Stephanie, with those gorgeous legs showing very well, before laughing for no apparent reason at Bischoff bragging. Not sure what this led to, but it might have been the US Title. Actually that’s not it, as the IC Title would soon be unified with the world title, in one of the biggest head scratchers of all time. It would be revived about 8 months later when everyone realized how truly stupid it was, and THAT would bring about the US Title.

We’re getting ready for Test and the Undertaker. JR says a lot of people want to know who the UnAmericans are, why they’re here, and why they’re doing this. In short: Lance Storm, Christian and Test, they’re professional wrestlers and TNA was a baby at this time and since Vince had more or less created a monopoly there was nowhere else to work, and they’re Canadians that don’t like Americans. Why is that such a complicated thing to figure out?

The UnAmericans carry around an upside down American flag to symbolize how messed up America is. That’s either brilliant or really stupid. They keep saying they hate America, so the American tough guy wants to beat up Test. On a side note, William Regal would join them later on. Taker’s punches were called soup bones for no apparent reason around this time, as JR continues to get further and further away from this lovely little thing called reality.

Oh yeah we’re in the Tough Enough era here and Tough Enough 3 was going on. The winner of that was one John Hennigan. You may know him as John Morrison. The other winner was named Matt Cappotelli, and while you may not have heard of him, I was lucky enough to see him in OVW.

He was absolutely awesome and I can guarantee you of this: he would have been either as big a star as Morrison or far bigger. The guy had that X factor to him and you knew he would have been something very special. His retirement speech almost had me in tears. I wish I could find a copy of it.

Undertaker vs. Test

You won’t hear this, but JR says that Test has been living on nothing but potential forever. How true that is of so many workers today. This is part of the UnAmericans vs. everyone else so Taker busts out a hiptoss of all things as he dominates early. The big clothesline hits but Old School is blocked to let Test take over.

Test’s fairly generic big man offense takes over. This is rather slow paced and not very interesting. Taker gets a belly to belly to get out of most of the trouble but an elbow misses. They slug it out which of course Taker wins which lets him get a running DDT for two. Old School connects and the bigger man is in control.

Test’s big boot misses and a chokeslam gets two which is probably the high point of Test’s career. Christian and Storm run in which gets them nowhere. It does however allow Test to get his big boot for two as Test PANICS since the one solid move he knows did nothing at all. He grabs a chair but it gets kicked into his own ugly face and a Tombstone ends it. That was a rarity at this point so it was cool to see. He celebrates with the flag afterwards.

Rating: D. This wasn’t that good. It was certainly more about the angle than the match, and while there are occasions that I’ll make exceptions for that such as Hogan vs. Andre, this isn’t one of those occasions. It’s just not good as their styles were too similar and while Taker is good enough, Test just didn’t care at this point and it shows. Solid angle, bad match, as Test just wasn’t in Taker’s league, ever.

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Taker is just now leaving, so that was an extended celebration I guess.

We start the build for what I think (and yes it’s very debatable) was your real main event. Shawn hasn’t wrestled in over 1600 days. That’s a lot of sleepless nights for Becca. Lawler says that a lot of these people have never seen Shawn wrestle, which means that a lot of people have never heard of home video obviously, or Lawler thinks it’s 1940 and there’s no such thing as taping a match.

In case you’ve never heard it, here’s the basic build for this match. Shawn and HHH were in DX together as you likely know. However, Shawn got hurt and HHH took over DX and became the star that he is today. Now, in the Summer of 2002, Shawn came back for a night, unbeknownst to us, healthy and sober. That night, it seemed to be all about Shawn again, which was unfair to HHH who had actually had a more successful career as far as title reigns and time on top than Shawn had.

That night, Shawn came up with the idea of reforming DX (I want that man shot) and HHH went along with it, or at least he did in the beginning. They do the two words line, but then HHH kicks him and pedigrees him. You can tell this is serious because it goes into slow motion. HHH hits a very weird pedigree as he jumps way too high and it looks like Shawn was countering it with a backdrop.

Anyway, HHH says that Shawn used HHH to get to the top, so now HHH used Shawn to get to the top, which makes even less sense but whatever. Now this is the part of the storyline that I never understood. HHH is cutting the promo in the ring where he says all of that stuff. Ok, that’s fine. A guy gets his attention and says that something happened.

HHH bolts from the ring and goes off to find a bunch of guys around Shawn who is laid out on the ground bleeding and there’s a hole in the window of a car. HHH says he’ll find who did it and when he does, that person is a marked man. Shawn comes back a few weeks later for a satellite interview, and he has the footage from the security camera, and naturally it’s HHH. As I’ve said many times, what’s the point?

For one thing, why wouldn’t it have been HHH? He’s cutting a promo about how he can’t stand Shawn, and since Shawn has been back for all of 2 weeks, why wouldn’t it have been him? Seriously, who else was it supposed to have been? Why wouldn’t they have just shown it being him, maybe ending the show like that, and THEN have the interview where Shawn challenges him for Summerslam? HHH says that he did it to prove a point, which was that Shawn is vulnerable.

Ok, that’s all well and good, but WHY WOULD HE GO ON A FREAKING MANHUNT IF HE DID IT? That makes no sense! What’s the point in turning him heel one week, turning him face for two weeks, and THEN revealing him to be the mastermind for lack of a better term, thus turning him heel all over again? It’s just pure overkill and was absurd. ANYWAY, Shawn says that he’ll be completely recovered by Summerslam. So let me get this straight.

Shawn couldn’t get better from a broken back, which is something that could have paralyzed him, in four and a half years, but if you cut him on the head he’ll recover in less than a month? Are you telling me that all Shawn had to do to completely be healed was cut himself shaving? If that’s the case, Becca might have a fit. This match is non-sanctioned, which Bischoff says means that it never happens. HHH says the logical thing: Oh Eric, but it will happen.

See, that’s my issue with matches that never happen. YES THEY FREAKING DID! When you erase something from the record books, people still remember the matches themselves. That’s why taking down banners for basketball games or erasing wins is stupid. The games were played, and therefore we’re going to remember who won, who lost, by how much, and what kind of shoes they were wearing.

The match not only happened, it happened in a WWE ring, on a WWE PPV, had WWE commentators and had a WWE referee, but people know who freaking won it! The match DID happen, so what’s the point in saying it’s non-sanctioned? If it was non-sanctioned, then this would be happening in a parking lot somewhere instead of in front of 14,000 people. Since it’s not an official match, why is HHH in wrestling gear?

Does he wear that in his everyday life? Is there constantly a referee following him around to check and see if he wants to go for a pin? Does he think he’s Nighthawk and that he’s competing to become Champion of Wrestling (OCW joke for those of you that have NO clue what I mean)? Are you starting to see how stupid this really is? Just call it what it is: a WWE street fight. It sounds better, it looks better, and above all else: IT MAKES SENSE!!!

They get a full music video before the match here, which actually does show off how great of a match this could be. HHH’s line of “YOU CAN’T WRESTLE ANYMORE!” while as corny as it sounds, actually tells the whole story here in just four words.

That’s the sign of a good promo: it sums up everything simply, without having to use a big elaborate bunch of words to fill in time. All that being said though, the buildup had you actually believing that something special was coming, and for those of you that have seen it, you know that it is. For those of you that haven’t, be ready to enjoy.

HHH vs. HBK

Before I begin, one note that I’m likely to forget. In an interview that HHH gave about Shawn and this match in particular, he says that this was a 45 minute match. From what I’ve seen, it clocks in at about 27-30. That’s a far cry from 45 if my math is correct, but I digress. To say the pop for HBK’s music is massive would be like saying Hogan was a little over.

The flashbulbs are going off all over the place as this is actually a very epic moment. It’s not like Shawn was doing nothing when he left. He was wrestling in the main event at a major show as the world champion and he retained. It’s fairly obvious that he would have gotten at least a rematch with Austin at Backlash and likely have been champion again somewhere down the road. However, it’s likely that his addictions would have caused major problems.

Geez I need to stop these tangents. He gets the mega star treatment which he deserves, including pyro, confetti, etc. He’s actually looking like it’s a non-sanctioned fight, wearing an undershirt and jeans. His shirt says Philippians 4:13, which for you football geeks is what Tim Tebow has on his eye black in every games. For those of you that don’t know who that is, watch some real football, not that nonsense they play in Europe and find out.

For those of you that have no idea what it means, it’s a Bible verse that reads “For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” That makes a lot of sense for this match. Usually I want the face to come out last and get the big pop, but here I think it’s better that Shawn came out first. Also, Lawler says that no one in history has had more charisma than Shawn.

Not sure about that King. I’m thinking of a guy in red and yellow. He posed a lot, kind of made wrestling what it is today. In an odd fact that you may not know, the man who wears red and yellow, despite many tries, has never once beaten Jerry Lawler by pinfall. They fought dozens of times, but Lawler never lost cleanly to him. Dang these tangents!

HHH gets the booing to end all booing. You have to keep in mind: HHH is at about the level here that he’s at today, so it’s not like Shawn was coming back to fight Dolph Ziggler or someone like that. He was taking on one of the very best. Shawn is all calm here, even doing the lay on the rope like a hammock thing. I really like that actually, as it plays to Shawn’s laid back persona that he had when he was at his peak.

If he was all serious and angry that would have made sense too, but I think this actually works a bit better. Shawn starts fast, throwing his PERFECT towel in HHH’s face and punching him. Apparently this is due to his Texas pride. What in the world does Texas pride have to do with this? He jumped him. Isn’t that being a bit cowardly actually? Why am I trying to make sense of something JR said?

Shawn starts by throwing punches for the most part, but within two minutes he launches over the top rope with a plancha, followed by more punches. That’s a very smart idea actually. Shawn has been out of the ring for four and a half years. It’s not like he’s going to be the Shawn that was wrestling just before the injury. He’s going to have a lot of ring rust, so punching makes sense.

Also, it’s a good safety advertisement for kids and adults. Since this isn’t an actual match, it’s not actual wrestling right? Therefore, Shawn not doing a lot of wrestling moves is showing that people shouldn’t try this at home. Now it’s ok to punch someone’s head in, but don’t try to slam them. We get weapons brought in, namely the trashcan of death, as JR talks about Shawn’s son watching at home.

There’s a great parenting lesson: if you’re ever possibly walking into a match where you have little to no chance of winning and could be paralyzed because your pride got in the way of your thinking, make sure your kids are watching, because it could be your only chance to look good for them. Sweet Chin Music misses and HHH lands a backbreaker, which Shawn sells like death, opening the main psychology of this match, which was to be expected.

You know, you’d think that after four and a half years his back would be a bit better. Oh, Lawler has used vintage four times inside of 5 minutes. I wonder if that’s where Cole got it. You can almost see the Harley Race coming out of HHH already as he looks just pure evil. Ross says that WWE has nothing to do with this match as I am fighting from rehashing what I said earlier.

Chair is brought in and cracked over Shawn’s back, but since he has HEART, he can kick out of what would pin others, despite it being his weakest point. JR says HHH is 6’4 and a half and weighs 260, despite him being listed as 272 just 8 minutes ago. I feel like I’m watching a Captain Planet parody with all these heart references. DDT on a chair which should have crippled someone but he kicks out with ease, but he’s bleeding.

Lawler says this match may have been the biggest mistake of Shawn’s career. He hung out with Luna, so that’s a big negative there King. HHH gets the sledgehammer as Shawn fights him off. HHH goes for an abdominal stretch which I’m sure has Gorilla Monsoon complaining in his grave. HHH grabs the rope, which I’m still trying to figure out how that actually adds anything to the hold.

Earl Hebner yells at HHH about it and you can tell he means business because he has a mic on him, but keep in mind: this IS NOT a real match. Shawn gets crotched on the top rope as a little bit of Becca’s soul dies. Another chair shot to the back would normally end anyone else’s career, but SHAWN HAS HEART! I know I’ve made fun of a lot of this, but this match really has been good.

I’m rarely a person that can pick out specific things a guy does in a match, but even I can tell that HHH is a master heel. They do a spot where HHH sets up a chair and Shawn is side slammed through it. Dang . If it broke then it hurts, and if it doesn’t break then it hurts like the 7th circle of torment. We get probably the 5th spot that would kill anyone else, but Shawn has….screw it even I’m getting tired of that joke.

JR says Shawn is limp. I’m sure Becca could fix that. Ok I’ll try to keep the Becca jokes to a minimum now. Shawn starts his comeback in his comeback match by countering the pedigree. The fans are white hot here, even 15 minutes into this. From out of nowhere, Shawn gets Sweet Chin Music into a chair but Shawn is spent, which makes sense. The psychology is definitely here, as it’s always nice to have guys that actually know how to work the mental side of a match as these two do. HHH is busted.

Ok, now this is just getting ridiculous. Shawn has had maybe 5 moves that would have ended any match with ease, including a DDT on a chair, and 5 minutes later he’s fine? Even Hulk Hogan thinks that’s a bit much to swallow from Shawn. Becca says…never mind. All of a sudden Shawn is limping around again, so I guess I can buy the adrenaline excuse. JR calls the chair shot a Jason Giambi like swing which makes me laugh. Of all the power hitters in history he picks him?

The commentators have a crazy idea: Shawn could win. I get that this is supposed to be his last hurrah, but is it that hard to believe? Ok yes it would have been at the time. The fans want tables, so HHH is put on the most famous one of all time: The Portuguese Announce Table! In a weird spot, Shawn pulls the shoe from one of the commentators, which Lawler says is a heel for a heel as I can’t believe he still has a job at this point.

You can say heel but you can’t say belt or strap? It’s ladder time. Dang why can’t it be wiggle time? HHH gets a solid shot right in the hand with it. In case you didn’t know, this is non-sanctioned. Did you know it’s non-sanctioned? I just want to make it clear that this is non-sanctioned. And last but not least, it’s non-sanctioned. HHH busts out a baseball slide as two things happen: he uses a new move so screw you HHH haters, and I am WAY past my record for talking about one match.

You can tell this is a big match as HHH goes up top. Shawn gets a weird float around sunset flip but he shoves himself off at two because the spot looks bad if HHH kicks out on his own. JR randomly throws in how evil HHH is. That is yet another example of why I love professional wrestling. Where else could someone try to cripple you but just a few years later you’re best friends again and fighting on PPV together?

That must have been one heck of a Christmas card that HHH sent him. “Hey man, sorry about that whole wanting you in a wheelchair thing and the attempted manslaughter. Next time we hit Waffle House, you can get a Coke on me.” Drop toehold into the stairs for HHH and we actually get a realistic looking impact. Why are tables such a big deal? It’s not like they’re that deadly.

Wouldn’t it actually break the fall a bit as you have less time in freefall? Shawn comes off with a splash from the top to the floor with a table, which is just cool looking no matter how long he’s been out. The holy crap chants have started, which is fine as this match is awesome. Correction: this match is greatness. There is a difference. The odd thing about that though is that this is really just an extended hardcore match with big names.

They’re hardly doing anything revolutionary, yet the match certainly is great. I think that goes to show just how awesome both of these guys are. They’re taking stuff that we’ve seen dozens of times before but by using storytelling and style, they’re making it look better than ever. Shawn lands the Screw You elbow and bounces up. The old school stomping on the mat clues HHH in to what’s coming and it’s countered into the Pedigree, but Shawn rolls him up to shock the world and win the match.

Normally I would have been for the Sweet Chin Music and the clean pin, but with that we can’t have what follows: HHH drilling him in the back with the hammer to become Satan incarnate. He then does it AGAIN to make Satan look like a baby bunny named Lucy.

Lawler is absolutely losing it in some of the best commentary I’ve ever seen. Ross sounds like any other heinous act, but Lawler is probably at his best ever here. The fans are chanting for HBK, but since he’s not Hulk Hogan, he can’t get up. Shawn is stretchered out as the fans are almost dead silent.

Rating: A+. Holy crap this was awesome. You have to remember, Shawn hadn’t done a thing in nearly 5 years. This would be like Austin coming back and stealing the show and having one of the best matches of his life. Both guys were so on here that it’s not even funny.

Norcal says it’s in the top 5 matches of all time and I’m not sure I can disagree. I might not rank it that high, but dang it was fun. Easily one of the best I’ve ever seen and if you haven’t seen it before, turn the lights out and watch it right now. It’s certainly worth the 30 (not 45 HHH) minutes.

Ok, now I have to bring this up because it was the talk of the IWC around this time. As you know, HHH gets a LOT of criticism for never putting people over and while today that’s complete nonsense, those complaints started around this time and I think that at this time they were completely true. “But KB, he JUST put Shawn over.” Yes he did, but you have to remember that at this time no one, not even Vince himself thought that Shawn was coming back full time.

This was a one off performance and that was it. It’s no different than when Hogan came back and beat Orton and HBK. He had nothing to lose but he didn’t put them over as they needed. It’s no different here. HBK didn’t need to win here, given the circumstances at the time. Yes, HHH put someone over, but he put someone over that didn’t need it. Less than a month after this HHH would be awarded the WHC and after a brief Shawn run HHH would hold it for over 9 months.

In that time he beat everyone and beat them soundly. That right there is where he got the reputation for never putting anyone over, and I think those are valid claims. Prior to this he had won the title at Mania 18 and lost it to Hogan, who was just another nostalgia run like HBK was right here. In other words, for over a year and a half, HHH put over HBK, his best friend, and Hogan, the biggest star of all time.

Starting with the creation of the Undisputed Title in December of 2001 and ending with Wrestlemania 21 almost three and a half years later, the longest HHH wert without being world champion: just under four and a half months. Once the second title was created in September of this year or about 2 weeks after this show until Mania 21 (Batista and Cena winning the world titles): 5 months.

Both of these times he was feuding with HBK for the majority of the time. Therefore, I think there certainly was something to those claims back then that he was either playing politics or hogging the title while refusing to put anyone over, as he was either champion or feuding with HBK.

Since we had an amazing moment, we follow it with a bit that is supposed to be funny. This was the Get The F Out campaign because of those panda lovers.

JR and Lawler don’t think HHH is a very nice person. No valentine’s day cards for them.

Howard Finkel has something to say as we have entered the Twilight Zone. He says that he’s dedicated to the business and while MLB may be going on strike (they didn’t), the fans will always have the Fink. For no reason at all, Trish comes out for this. Apparently….they’ve been feuding?

Like I said in my Smackdown review, it’s kind of awesome hearing Fink’s voice being ticked off. Trish hits on him for some reason. Howard references his body as my scars are scarred for life. Lillian is behind them and she beats up Fink and leaves with Trish. Aside from having two very hot women appear, this may have been the most pointless segment I’ve ever seen.

We see a promo package on the rise of Brock and how Rock has been training “specially” for this match, which means he’s getting in shape to film the Rundown.

WWF Title: Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

After all that, Tony Chimmel is announcing. Brock’s music is great and Heyman is in his element as the jerk agent. This match was Rock’s very last time being around any title period as he would make one last 3 month run in the spring, beating Hogan and Austin before putting Goldberg over and riding off into Hollywood, only appearing for Mania the next year.

Basically, this was to launch Brock as high up as they could in one match and I don’t think I’ve ever seen it done better. Rock was really just a trophy champion at this point, having no title matches and never really being the focus of the show at all. Since Austin was on hiatus at this point, Rock was all they had left as HHH was busy with HBK. They figured they would roll the dice on Brock and just see what happened.

There’s not a lot to say here other than Brock is destroying him. I mean this is almost an extended squash, with the fans all over Rock. It’s a smark crowd so I’m assuming they know Rock is gone after tonight. Either way, Rock is getting booed out of the building here and the fans LOVE Brock, who was turned face about three months later at Survivor Series. Actually it was a bit before, but it was official that night as Heyman turned on him, making Brock face by default.

Brock puts on a bearhug which I kid you not lasts nearly three minutes. Granted, it’s the hug that killed Hogan off, but DANG that’s a long time. After the nap I was taking ends with them finally doing something, they go to the floor and Lesnar is down. During this time, Heyman gets the worst Rock Bottom of all time through the table. Back in, Rock hits the Rock Bottom and Lesnar kicks out because that’s what monster heels do.

He hits his own Rock Bottom which Tazz calls, say it with me, the Brock Bottom, and yes, it is stupider than it sounds. They trade punches with Rock winning and going for the Elbow but Brock pops up to just take his head off with a clothesline. That was one of the hardest moves I’ve ever seen.

We get a great series of near finishers and counters, but Brock lands the F5 to completely shock the world and win the title as the fans go crazy. The ending is really fast with clichéd lines like the next big thing has arrived. I think they were pressed for time or something here because the show is over maybe 15 seconds after the pin without even a single replay.

Rating: C+. This again wasn’t about the wrestling but what it meant. As I said this was Brock’s big moment and they couldn’t have put him over any stronger if their lives depended on it. He dismantled Rock and made it look easy. Of course they would screw this up royally by putting him with Big Show who would injure him at a house show because he was too fat for Brock to throw around without hurting himself.

Scratch that. Brock could throw him around, but Show just sucked badly at this time. Either way they had no choice but to give Show the belt in an angle that was just horrid as it made Brock look pretty weak. Also, less than two weeks after this the Undisputed belt is made exclusive to Smackdown which I think is what Stephanie was laughing about earlier.

Anyway it leads to HHH being given (literally) the World Heavyweight Championship which Shawn would win at Survivor Series in the first Elimination Chamber. Dang I got off topic again. Anyway, Brock was awesome, Rock put him over and bailed, and Austin was long gone, so Brock is officially a big deal.

Overall Rating: A+. This show is awesome, but HHH/HBK should have gone on last, plain and simple. It was by far and away the bigger story and got more attention. Also, after that match, the fans weren’t spent but they weren’t as alive as they could have been for the title change.

Other than that, I don’t have any issue with this show. It’s solid all around with nothing bad on it at all. I’ve heard it compared to Mania 17 and while I don’t think it’s better or equal to it, it beats anything for second place at least off the top of my head. Highest recommendation all around here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Night Raw – May 2, 2005: My Favorite Match Ever

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 2, 2005
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Now that I’m done with all of the pay per views, I’m going to take a small break and do a show that I’ve wanted to talk about for awhile. This show is built around finding a #1 contender for Batista who is Raw World Champion at the moment. Therefore, we need to have a tournament. There’s one match on this show that I’m reviewing it for and for you KB trivia fans out there, it’s my favorite match ever. Let’s get to it.

We open in the back with Batista hitting on Christy Hemme. Bischoff comes up and tells Batista he did well last night against HHH, so tonight we’re starting the Gold Rush Tournament with the winner getting a shot at Batista. The eight people know they’re in but they don’t know who they’re facing until the announcer says their name. Batista is told he has the night off but he says he wants a match tonight. Batista says he wants Bischoff and it looks like he wants to rape him. Eric screams and Batista implies he’s only kidding.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Christian vs. Kane

Tomko is with Christian here and Lita is on a crutch with Kane. Christian talks trash to Kane to start and that’s just not smart. Kane shoves him from the middle of the ring and out to the floor with ease. Back in and a big boot puts the Canadian down and an uppercut puts him outside again. Christian sends Kane into the steps to take over. He hits a springboard crossbody to the floor and Kane is put down again.

That gets two in the ring and Christian chokes away in the corner. Kane shrugs all that off and throws Christian into the air in retaliation. Chokeslam is countered and Christian hooks a sleeper. Kane counters that into a side slam but Tomko breaks up the top rope clothesline. Unprettier is countered but Tomko gets on the apron. Kane sends Christian into him and the chokeslam sends Kane to the semifinals.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but it was just a step above a squash. Christian would be gone to TNA a few months after this but he went down in the midcard so at least he advanced a bit. There wasn’t much here as Kane pretty much dominated Christian the entire time. It could have been worse though.

Tomko gets a chokeslam post match.

Flair makes fun of Christian for losing. Flair “raps”, and says HHH will win the tournament. The 80s just died a bit.

Muhammad Hassan complains about not being in the tournament and blames Hogan, Shawn, the fans, and Daivari for the loss last night. Daivari gets beaten down but he still follows Hassan to the back.

Here’s Viscera who talks about how he loves women. He wants to go south of the border and looks at Lillian. Simon Dean comes out to keep this from getting even more uncomfortable. He offers Viscera a lifetime supply of the Simon System products and that ticks the fat man off.

Viscera vs. Simon Dean

Simon makes a bunch of fat jokes and gets run over. Viscera puts him in the Tree of Woe and crushes him but misses an elbow. That gets Dean nowhere as a chokeslam and splash literally squash him. This was nothing.

Viscera says he’s back on the market.

Candice and Stacy are in the back to plug Stacy’s STUFF Magazine photo shoot. Bischoff comes up to double the plugs and walks on to his office. HHH is waiting there and wants to know why this tournament exists. It should be his title shot because he got screwed out of the title last night. Bischoff says HHH gets his rematch if he wins the tournament. Until then, get out of the office.

Benjamin is in the tournament and says he isn’t nervous because he’s the Intercontinental Champion. He has to be ready for anyone at any time, but Jericho interrupts. Jericho lost to Shelton last night and Jericho seems to respect Shelton now. Jericho is in the tournament and says he might be Shelton’s opponent. Shelton wishes Jericho luck and they shake hands.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Shelton Benjamin vs. Shawn Michaels

This is the match that I was talking about. Shawn is back in the world title hunt after going after Muhammad Hassan for a few months. Shelton is on fire at this point so this is going to be great. They immediately hit the mat and Shelton dominates as you would expect him to. Shawn grabs a hammerlock and they hit the mat again. Shelton rides him again and Shawn has to head to the ropes to get a break.

Shelton takes him back to the mat but Shawn easily gets back up. A cradle gets two for Shawn out of nowhere and it’s followed by a forearm to take over. Shelton comes back with a clothesline and both guys go to the floor. We take a break and come back with Shelton countering a belly to back superplex into a cross body off the top but he can’t cover. Batista is watching in the back.

Shelton hits a Samoan Drop and both guys are down again. Things speed up and Shelton gets two off a backbreaker. Shawn hits the forearm and nips up, but Shelton nips up a second later, freaking Shawn out. We get a fast paced pinfall reversal sequence and Shawn takes Shelton down with a hard chop. Benjamin comes back with the Stinger Splash in the corner but the T-Bone is broken up.

Sweet Chin Music is caught and the Dragon Whip gets two. That sounded GREAT and JR’s commentary is only making this better. Shelton loads up a superplex but Shawn knocks him down and hits the elbow for two. Another Chin Music attempt is countered by a high kick for a VERY close two. Shelton jumps from the mat to the top rope and hits a spinning clothesline for another two. This is getting better and better with each kickout. Shelton gets sent to the apron and tries a springboard, but he jumps right into the Sweet Chin Music in an incredible spot. Shelton is DEAD and Shawn advances. That never gets old.

Rating: A+. It’s my favorite match ever. What grade did you expect me to give it? Also, this probably furthers Shawn’s record of most A+ matches for a single guy held by Shawn. The last few minutes of this has some of the best near falls on TV that I’ve ever seen. This is easily one of the best TV matches of all time. The only issue I have with it: what was Shelton going for at the end other than diving into the kick? I’ve never gotten that. The idea here was simple: Shawn was fighting himself from ten years ago. That’s very interesting and it worked like a masterpiece here.

Edge says he’s in the tournament because he wants another shot to go with his MITB contract. Apparently if he gets drafted, he loses the shot in the case. Ok then. Edge says he’ll be champion and goes up to Lita and Victoria. Victoria says she’s looking at nothing. Nothing here.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Hurricane/Rosey

Hurricane and Rosey won the belts last night in tag team turmoil. Rosey gets jumped before the match starts and the fat man gets to start with Grenier. A Hart Attack gets two on Rosey and it’s off to Conway. Back to Grenier for nothing of note and it’s back to Conway. Rosey breaks free and it’s off to Hurricane. No one is responding to any of this at all. A top rope rana gets two on Grenier and Conway is sent to the floor. A side slam/Eye of the Hurricane combo gets the pin on Grenier to retain.

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of this other than filling in time? The answer to that would be nothing, as it was nothing but filler. These four guys were in the horrible spot on the card as they had to be thrown out there in between the major matches and had to fill in time. That’s a horrible spot to be in but at least they got on the show which is more than Hurricane and Rosey would do for a long time.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Chris Jericho vs. Edge

Jericho works on the arm to start and sends Edge into the buckle over and over. He goes up but Edge shoves him over the top rope and out to the floor. Back in and a backbreaker gets two. Off to a chinlock which is quickly broken and Batista is watching in the back. Edge stops to dance but misses a charge, getting sent into the ropes for his dancing abilities. Jericho speeds things up and hits the running hip attack to Edge’s back while Edge is in 619 position. That really needs a name.

Jericho hits an enziguri for two and stays on Edge. A sleeper drop gets two for Jericho but the bulldog is escaped. A big boot puts Jericho down but as Edge goes to get the case, Jericho hits the springboard dropkick to send it into Edge’s face. Jericho takes Edge down with a plancha but back inside Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic for two. Jericho counters the spear into the Walls but Edge makes the rope. As the referee tries to break it up, Edge gets in a case shot and a missile dropkick gets two for Edge. A spear sends Edge to the next round.

Rating: B-. This was getting good for awhile but Edge using the case was a cheap ending. At least it was new at this point and it hadn’t been driven into the ground yet. Edge would spend most of the rest of the year feuding with Matt Hardy while Jericho would do next to nothing until leaving in August. Good match but it needed a few more minutes.

Here’s Chris Masters for the Masterlock Challenge. He offers four grand and an autographed Red Sox jersey. A plant is brought in and this goes as well as you would expected it to.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Chris Benoit vs. HHH

A quick Pedigree is countered into a Crossface attempt but HHH escapes. Benoit escapes a belly to back suplex but can’t hook the Sharpshooter. Another Crossface attempt is countered and they head outside. Back in and HHH clotheslines him in the back of the head to take over. They head to the floor and Benoit’s eyes are absolutely bugging out of his head. It looks like something from a comedy horror movie actually.

We take a break and come back with Benoit’s eyes still messed up. That’s so scary when you look at things now. HHH drops a knee on the back of the head for two. Benoit comes back with some chops but gets caught in a sleeper. After a few moments it gets broken up via HHH being sent into the buckle but Benoit can’t follow up. A belly to back suplex puts HHH down as does a German suplex but HHH elbows him in the head to escape.

Now the Rolling Germans hit and the Swan Dive gets a very delayed two. Benoit is looking scarier and scarier with every hit to that head. HHH charges but gets caught in the Sharpshooter. Flair is brought in and chopped in the corner but HHH hits Benoit in the head and the referee goes down. Cue Batista who cleans house, including a spinebuster to HHH. Benoit puts on the Sharpshooter and Batista pulls the rope away so HHH has to tap.

Rating: B. This was a good match but the Benoit stuff was scary at times. Even taking out what we would learn about him later on, this was some bad stuff, as Benoit’s eyes were all over the place during some of the match. Those shots to the head looked vicious and it was hard to watch. The ending was good too as Batista’s smile was great when he was holding the rope away. Good match.

Overall Rating: A. With five matches on the card and three of them being above average to great and the other two being short, what more can you ask for from a show? This was excellent from a wrestling perspective and the stories advanced well enough. I can’t ask for much more than this which is a great surprise in a show from 2005. This is well worth tracking down.

 Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Night Raw – July 15, 2002: He’s Back And He’s Better Than Ever

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 15, 2002
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request and with good reason: EVERYTHING changes here. Well maybe not everything but a lot of things certainly do. First of all there’s the debut of the longest running Raw GM tonight, as well as a stable being thrown out completely. For the life of me I can’t believe they just threw this out on Raw instead of having it on a big PPV or at least built up or something, but this is WWE in 2002 so the logic is LONG gone. This is also the last Raw before Vengeance 2002. Let’s get to it.

We open in the back with Taker glaring at Heyman. Heyman says that the main event tonight was his idea. It’s Taker/Brock vs. Flair/Van Dam. Apparently Brock wants Taker on Sunday but Taker says that’s the last thing Brock wants. Taker says he makes the next big things disappear. Oh that’s GREAT.

Here’s Vince to the NWO music. He says that as of now, the NWO is officially gone and that was the last time that you’ll ever hear that music. Until it was 2011 and WWE thought we wanted Kevin Nash in the main event. Vince says the NWO era is now history, which is the case of a lot of previous eras. He lists off some eras, which is kind of cool to hear. However, all of these eras have ended because the company needs to change with the times. That’s what’s happening now, as we’re going to have GM’s on each show with complete authority. The Raw GM is revealed tonight and he’ll give the fans what they deserve.

Flair has no idea who the GM is but no one outside of a McMahon knows how hard this is.

Jeff Hardy/Spike Dudley/Bubba Ray Dudley vs. William Regal/Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero

Jeff is European Champion and beat Regal last week to win it. This is also under elimination rules. The other four meet in an elimination tag on Sunday as well. It’s a big brawl to start until Spike and Eddie get us going. Spike gets headbutted in the ribs but a VERY fast rollup with an even faster count gets the pin to eliminate him. Bubba comes in with a quick Bubba Bomb but Regal saves. Off to Benoit who gets chopped in the corner but Regal cheats to take over.

Bubba comes back with the dancing punches and an elbow to Regal’s head for two. Eddie comes in illegally and is launched to the floor. Off to Hardy for about half a second before Bubba comes in again. Eddie and Benoit go suplex happy and it’s Benoit vs. Jeff. Eddie comes in quickly and picks Jeff apart with shots to the back and neck. Regal in now to slow things down before tagging Benoit back in.

A belly to back suplex puts Jeff down and Eddie comes back in for his spinning eye rake. The heels tag in and out very quickly. Regal catches Bubba not paying attention and things break down. Regal brings in the European Title but Bubba gets it away and clocks William for it, but that’s a DQ so it’s 3-1. Hardy immediately hits the Swanton on Regal to make it 2-1 as we take a break.

Back with Eddie missing a slingshot hilo so that Jeff can cradle him for the pin to get us down to one on one. After some double teaming before Eddie leaves, Benoit hits a German suplex. Jeff gets sent to the corner but comes out with Whisper in the Wind. Eddie comes back out as a decoy, allowing Regal to pop up and knock Hardy out with the brass knuckles. Crossface goes on and Hardy is unconscious to end it.

Rating: B. This was good, primarily for two reasons. First of all it had time to develop. That’s very important as it would have gotten annoying to see five eliminations in about a minute. Also, having Hardy lose by cheating was good as you can’t have Hardy beat all three guys but you also want to keep him strong. This was very well done and it worked. I could have seen this being on PPV, which is a rarity for Raw.

Post match Benoit and Eddie set up a table but the Dudleys make the save.

Coach has some suggestions for who might be the GM. Some names floating around are Mick Foley, Vince’s brother, and Paul Heyman, who pops up after being asked to meet with Vince. Heyman goes into Vince’s office and Coach says he’ll wait until Heyman leaves. A production chick literally runs in and says the new GM has arrived.

Post break the new GM comes in and Vince is shocked because it’s…..Shane? Vince says Shane isn’t the GM but Shane yells about how bad of an idea this is. Shane knows who the GM is and says that the new guy is a parasite that is going to screw over the company.

Van Dam and Dreamer are in the back talking about the GM stuff. Van Dam is glad it’s not Heyman. Dreamer asks about the Van Terminator that Heyman took last week and Van Dam says he had it coming for years. He wants to hit Lesnar for one too. Van Dam leaves and Stevie Richards pops up. He doesn’t believe what Tommy has been saying lately so let’s make our match a Singapore Cane match. Various jokes are made so here’s Goldust for a cameo. Richards hits Dreamer with the cane.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Stevie Richards

Basically there are few rules but Singapore Canes are legal. Dreamer gets in a few shots to start and they head to the floor. Tommy jumps off the steps for a shot to the back of Richards. Stevie gets in a shot to the face (all shots here are with canes unless otherwise noted) and yells at the cane. Dreamer is busted. Richards suplexes him on the ramp but might have hurt his shoulder in the process.

Back inside now for some choking with the cane. Stevie destroys Dreamer with the cane but Dreamer begs for more. Dreamer takes him down and beats on him before hitting a DDT for two. Dreamer goes up for a shot from the middle rope but jumps into a superkick for two. Both guys get canes but Dreamer is quicker and he BREAKS THE STICK over Richards’ head. FREAKING OW MAN!

Rating: C+. They knew what they were going for here and the idea worked pretty well: hit each other with some sticks for about four minutes with some occasional wrestling thrown in. Sometimes that’s all that you need and it worked pretty well here. Besides, what else do you expect from these two?

Booker is with Coach (Coach is taller actually) and says that less than a month after he got kicked out of the NWO, the NWO is gone. He feels like celebrating and wants a Coach-A-Rooni. Coach says no and Booker thinks that since Rock is on another show, he’s the new announcer abuser. Coach does a HORRIBLE one and Booker rips him apart for it. “You sure you black dog?” Booker is ready for Big Show and does his catchphrase, but Eric Bischoff pops up. Yes, THIS is how they did the reveal.

Here’s Vince to no music for some reason. He introduces Bischoff as the new GM in a really underwhelming reveal. Vince and Bischoff hugging on the stage of Monday Night Raw is SO bizarre to see. He comes out to Back in Black for some reason too. Bischoff gets in the ring and says that he’s the guy that ran WCW, but not the Invasion version: the REAL WCW. He says he’s the guy that Vince was talking about when he mentioned ruthless aggression.

Bischoff was the ruthless one, signing up every big star that WWF had. He signed Heenan and Okerlund just because he could. Eric talks about raiding Vince during the steroid trial and making the war personal. He talks about the tricks that he did during the Monday Night Wars and how that was innovative (if you call stealing stuff that the Poffos did to the Jarretts back in the 80s innovative then sure) which is what made him successful rather than Turner’s money.

He talks about Madusa and throwing the belt away which was ruthless and aggressive. Bischoff talks about how he gave away PPV quality main events which is what made Vince change the way he did TV. Then he created the NWO (again, if you call stealing ideas from other companies new then yeah that’s true) and beat the WWF 84 weeks in a row. He came this close to putting the WWF out of business.

Then he got a phone call from Vince asking him to run Raw. That makes perfect sense to him because only he could turn this place into a national media powerhouse. The one piece of talent he wanted but could never get was HHH. You know, the guy he HAD under contract and cut. Great eye for talent there Eric. People like working for him and it’s not just about the money. Bischoff is going to put the E in WWE.

Ok so some quick thoughts on this. First of all: WHERE WAS BISCOFF DURING THE INVASION??? If there was a single person PERFECT for running that, it was Bischoff. Apparently he was available at a reasonable price eight months later, and with Flair and the NWO being available three months after Survivor Series, could there be a better leader for a prolonged Invasion? Of course there was: Shane McMahon. Don’t you get the connection?

Second, this wasn’t the best opening promo in the world. All he said was that he was going to bring HHH to Raw, which is fine in theory but he spent about ten minutes explaining stuff to people that likely didn’t care. See, this is one of the BIG problems with the way modern wrestling works: sometimes this behind the scenes stuff works, but this was a good wrestling show so far and they stopped it for this. Yeah this is a huge moment, but talking about “history” is only so interesting to a crowd that doesn’t care about a lot of it. This was a good shock value moment, but I’m not wild about the execution.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly

Molly is defending. The champ gets a quick DDT after jumping Trish for two. Trish comes back, pounding away in the corner and hitting the Stratusphere. Chick Kick hits for two. The handspring elbow is countered into a victory roll for the same. Molly hits a backbreaker for two and Trish starts coming back. She loads up Stratusfaction but gets suplexed down. That and feet in the ropes get the pin to retain. This was nothing.

Flair runs into Bischoff in the back. Bischoff wants to bury their past issues but Flair is skeptical.

Booker T vs. Big Show

NWO fallout. Booker tries to fire away in the corner but Show easily overpowers him. A big delayed vertical suplex puts Booker down but an elbow drop misses. Booker rams him into the corner and superkicks him into the ropes. The side kick puts Show down and a clothesline puts both guys on the floor. Show’s running knee hits the steps and Booker’s chair shot misses. Back in the ring Booker has a chair taken from him and Show shoves the referee down for the DQ.

Rating: D-. What in the world was the point here? Oh I got it: to push Big Show because we haven’t done that before. Booker was always getting the shaft in WWE as he had the chance to become the guy that was pushed out of the NWO, but instead it’s Big Show that gets the push. Don’t you see the logic there?

Big Show beats him down with the chair and chokeslams him through the table post match.

Brock is lifting a piece of the set in the back because he can. Heyman seems glad that Bischoff is here. Apparently they have a plan about Undertaker.

A WWE employee has died. Apparently he worked in merchandise.

Hardcore Title: Bradshaw vs. Christopher Nowitski

Bradshaw is defending of course. Chris offers to lay down and be pinned but of course he tries the small package which only gets two. Bradshaw clotheslines him to the floor and the beating begins. Christopher gets taken down with a HARD steps shot and Nowitski runs into the crowd. They head to the backstage area and Bradshaw keeps killing him. And here’s Johnny The Bull to hit Bradshaw and steal the title. Unique no?

Big Show and Bischoff chat in the back. It’s Booker vs. Show in a street fight on Sunday.

Johnny The Bull comes in to brag to Bischoff and loses the title to Bradshaw in the process.

Taker warns Brock not to screw with him.

Brock Lesnar/The Undertaker vs. Ric Flair/Rob Van Dam

Taker is WWE Champion and is teasing a face turn. Van Dam is facing Lesnar on Sunday for the IC Title. Flair is here because he might be the top face on Raw. Flair and Taker start us off and Ric is easily overpowered. They head to the corner so Flair can chop him and take over. Van Dam gets a blind tag and a top rope cross body for two. Taker misses a running big boot in the corner and Van Dam fires away with kicks.

Rob kicks the leg and you know that’s the call of the Nature Boy. Figure Four goes on very quickly but Taker easily sits up and chokes his way out of it. A low blow gets Naitch out of it and the old school beating begins. There’s the chokeslam for two and it’s off to King Brock. Lesnar throws Flair around and uses the power shoulders in the corner. He hits the multiple backbreakers and Taker gets in a shot as well. Taker comes in legally so he can pound Flair down in the corner. The jumping clothesline puts Flair down but he comes back with thumbs to the eye.

For no logical reason Flair goes up, but at least they mix it up this time and it’s a superplex instead of the traditional slam. Off to Lesnar who pounds on Flair some more and hits a powerslam. Brock charges into the post and Flair manages a suplex to get the hot tag. Van Dam cleans house and hits Rolling Thunder on the tagged in Dead Man. Missile dropkick and split legged moonsault put Brock down for two. Flair breaks up the Last Ride attempt but walks into the F5. While Brock is down he takes the Five Star, but the Last Ride ends Van Dam for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here. I’m really not sure why they had Flair in there as Taker was defending against Angle and Rock on Sunday, but that’s what happens in the opening days of the Brand Split I suppose. Not a terrible match but it didn’t really change much for the most part.

Bischoff calls Rock to try to steal him to Raw to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show dragged its way across the finish line but it worked for the most part. The first hour was great but after the Bischoff announcement it got down to what made Raw boring in 2002: so-so matches and boring stories with older guys getting pushed to the top. Lesnar wasn’t ready yet but he was coming quickly.

Here’s Vengeance if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/07/26/vengeance-2002-the-great-one-is-still-great/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Vengeance 2002: The Great One Is Still Great

Vengeance 2002
Date: July 21, 2002
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detriot, Michigan
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

So at this time, the Brand Split has just happened, although this is still a double branded show. The main feud is Rock vs. Angle vs. Taker. Just glancing at the card, this show more or less sucks. Other than that, there just isn’t much here. Cena’s PPV debut is here if that helps anything at all. Van Dam vs. Lesnar could be ok I guess. Uh yeah let’s just get to this as I’m not sure how it’s going to go.

Should be noted that in April of this year, Orton debuted. In May Batista debuted, and in June, about a month prior to this, Cena debuted. Not bad for a three months period is it?

The opening video is based on a passage from the Bible of all things. Oh I forgot. Bischoff made his WWF debut around this time. Oh sorry. It’s WWE now. Really short though.

Tazz and Cole threatened JR and King and therefore they get to call half of the show due to JR and King not wanting to deal with a pair of idiots like them.

BubbaRayDudley/SpikeDudleyvs. ChrisBenoit/EddieGuerrero

This is an elimination match. Since D-Von got sent to Smackdown and is now a preacher (with a deacon named Batista), Spike and Bubba are more or less the new Dudley Boys. Yeah it didn’t work and at I think Survivor Series they put D-Von and Bubba back together. Eddie’s mullet is insane here. Benoit gets a decent pop. I’ve always liked how Fink said Benoit. Absolutely no reason for these guys fighting has been given yet.

Tazz says the Dudleys have tables all over their yard and porch. That’s kind of an amusing visual. Also, it’s stuff like that that is dead in wrestling today. It’s ridiculous, but it gives their characters a sense of kayfabe realism. Today, they’re just two guys that like putting people through tables. Here, they still have a bit of the crazed hillbillies in them which is what made them awesome in the first place. Benoit was hurt at KOTR 2001 so he’s back full time now.

See, that’s the kind of stuff we need to be told in case we’re not up to date. You know, information like WHY THEY’RE FIGHTING! Later in the fall, Bubba would get to feud with HHH over the world title of all things. To say they were low on ideas at this point is an understatement. With no tables involved yet, Cole is surprised that Benoit and Eddie are controlling this.

In other words, Cole is surprised that Benoit and Eddie are out-wrestling the Dudley Boys. WOW. Taz starts a sentence with “Those of you out there that haven’t been put through a table.” That sums up why I don’t have to make fun of it, even though it was made in a joking manner. HHH decides on Raw or Smackdown tonight. Ok then. Also, four ECW guys in there. But yeah Vince, ECW didn’t have much influence on WWE today. None at all.

Spike runs in for a modified Poetry in Motion that was pretty nice. This has been ALL Radicalz. Yes I know that’s not their name anymore so save your annoying comments. Bubba spears Spike to save him from going through a table. We’re about ten minutes into this and no one is eliminated yet. Spike does a double stomp to the ribs of Benoit from the top rope.

There’s no way that doesn’t hurt no matter how well you get ready for it. Bubba misses his back splash through the table but it doesn’t count since it wasn’t via an offensive move. They’ve been consistent with that so I can buy it. Spike reverses a suplex into a Dudley Dog on Eddie to eliminate him.

They kind of mess up the landing though as Eddie goes ribs first into it and doesn’t hit the ground with his body. Ow I think. Benoit hits a gorilla press on Spike (think about that for a second) and it’s one on one. And Bubba wins it with a Bubba Bomb.

Rati…..BUBBA DUDLEY JUST BEAT CHRIS BENOIT ON PAY PER VIEW??? WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT NONSENSE? SPIKE DUDLEY JUST BEAT EDDIE GUERRERO ON PPV??? I MUST HAVE EATEN SOME TAINTED YAK GUTS OR SOMETHING BECAUSE THIS ISN’T HAPPENING!!!

Rating: D+. It was long and had some drama, but in what non-existent universe should the Dudleys beat Eddie and Benoit in ANY kind of match? Someone explain this to me. Also, NO EXPLANATION of why they’re fighting at all. This was just a bizarre fifteen minutes if there ever has been a bizarre fifteen minutes. I’m legit stunned.

Bischoff says he’s here to sign the most ruthless athlete he knows of: HHH. Oh let it begin. He’s going into the Smackdown GM’s office. The Smackdown GM at the moment: Stephanie. I’d love to see HHH trying to get them to compete for his services. Three round competition: karate, lingerie, mud wrestling. Hey, tell me Stephanie wouldn’t look hot in a gi.

CruiserweightTitle: JamieNoblevs. BillyKidman

At this point, the belt means jack. It’s the guy wins title after being on “an impressive roll as of late”, holds it for like three months while never defending it, another guy goes “on an impressive roll as of late” and normally he wins the title. This would be the first major, and I use that term more loosely than Lita after a bottle of Jack, title defense for Noble though, so there’s more or less no way he loses here.

That and I reviewed the match where he did lose it already so yeah this isn’t in any doubt at all. Wow absolutely no one cares here. We get the line about Noble not being your traditional cruiserweight as he uses a ground based attack and isn’t a high flier. Well duh, he’s a heel champion. Has there ever been a high flier that’s a heel? Only an idiot would book that? Kidman goes up top. I wonder if he’s about to GET READY TO FLY.

I really could not be less interested in this. Yet I’m writing a review of it. There’s something extremely wrong with me I think. How in the world did Noble win the ROH Title for a month? Was that like a massive rib or something? Noble messes up Kidman’s shoulder to try to make people care. To be fair, Kidman gets some pops in there.

Oh some guy named Rey Mysterio debuts Thursday. So four months you got Ortn, Cena, Batista and Mysterio. Not bad. Kidman doesn’t tap to an armbar. Kidman goes for an enziguri. It lands on Noble’s back. Wow this is making my head hurt. Shooting Star misses and Noble rolls him up for two. Noble hits a Tiger Bomb to end this.

Rating: D+. Not bad, but seriously, no one really cared. This just filled in about 8 minutes and wasn’t that good at all. More or less a nothing match that went nowhere at all. Not that it was terrible or anything, but no point at all.

Angle says he’ll win tonight but does so in a comedic manner. He makes economy jokes based on Detroit. Wow that’s odd. Heyman and Lesnar interrupt and a rivalry is set up. Lesnar has the title shot at Summerslam. Brock was still the silent killer at the moment. Angle’s character has slowly grown on me over the years. He’s so happy go lucky and joking but he can whip so much ass in the ring that it’s ok.

EuropeanTitle: WilliamRegalvs. JeffHardy

Hardy is champion here for no reason whatsoever. Maybe the reason is he pinned the European Champion in a title match. Ah apparently it was to Hardy on Raw a few weeks back. He cried after losing the title. Cole of course makes fun of him. Jeff gets a big old pop even at this point. The fans can’t stand Regal at all. He always was a good guy for getting heat. Hardy does that dropkick through the middle and bottom ropes that he does but leaves it short.

Hardy messing up a move. Who would have guessed that? Whisper in the Wind doesn’t have a name yet. Oh and Jess is wearing body paint now. Swanton lands on the knees. That must hurt badly. Hardy gets a weird looking rollup from nowhere to retain. Seriously he was getting his head kicked in and then was rolling him up. Nice ending….I think. Regal freaks again afterwards.

Rating: D+. I know I’ve used that a lot here but it’s what comes up. Just a weird match to put it mildly. It was just random with Regal dominating most of the match but losing out of nowhere. The fans popped big for Hardy though so I can’t complain there.

Flair congratulates Hardy. Hogan is here too. These three are in the same company 8 years later and two of them are legends here. See something wrong there? Hogan says he might use a Swanton later. Flair says what he thinks Ross would say. It’s….not that funny. Hogan says he’s worried about Vince appointing Eric and Stephanie as GMs of THEIR company. Flair was still onscreen owner here, so what the heck is Hogan talking about HIS company?

Flair says he’s worried for the young guys. Oh that’s PRICELESS. You hear all of the political stuff coming, and you have to wonder why they have no problem talking about their bosses like this with a camera looking right at them. That’s wrestling though so I can go with it.

JohnCenavs. ChrisJericho

So Cena had debuted like a month before this and had nearly beaten Kurt Angle in a challenge match. Jericho is heel here mind you. Not bad for a debut feud. Jericho couldn’t beat him three days ago so he beat the tar out of him with a chair. Yeah Jericho not being able to beat Cena. I’m stunned too. Cena has generic rock theme #849B here. Oh and he’s from Boston here. Also he’s wearing red shorts with a white stripe up the side. It was a very different time.

He wouldn’t be a rapper for a few months. This is a totally different guy than you’re used to. He’s not that good in the ring, he has NO heat, and I don’t think he has an actual signature or finishing move. Jericho kicks his head off with a spinning heel kick. I love that move. More or less Cena is just trying to survive here. Random note but TNA started about a month before this. Lionsault misses and Cena gets two on a rollup. Jericho getting ticked off is a thing of beauty.

Lionsault hits but he doesn’t cover like an idiot. Cena counters the Walls into a rollup for a quick pin. See what I mean by not having a finisher? And remember, Jericho was main eventing Mania three and a half months earlier.

Rating: C-. TV level match here but this is far more of a signature moment than anything else. Jericho put him over clean here and you can’t ask for much more. This wasn’t bad at all, and given Cena’s experience at this point, there was only so high they could take this. Also, Cena beats Jericho again.

Bischoff and Coach are waiting outside Stephanie’s office where HHH has been for awhile. Her lawyer goes in. I don’t care.

JR and King take over on commentary.

RVD is stretching. So is Lesnar. BUYRATE BABY!

We recap them, which more or less is Lesnar is awesome and beats up everybody he fights. He beat RVD to win KOTR. That’s about it.

IntercontinentalTitle: BrockLesnarvs. RobVanDam

Ok so make that Cena, Orton, Batista, Mysterio and Lesnar in four months. Think this was a good time for the company? Heyman was perfect in this role. Although I do wonder why knowing Heyman’s money history Lesnar would let him handle his contracts. Makes little sense. Van Dam is OVER. Oh yeah he’s the hometown boy here. Brock uses an FU about 4 seconds in and since he’s not John Cena, it does nothing. Yeah Lesnar’s strength is nothing compared to Cena’s.

Van Dam gets some solid shots in on Lesnar that makes things believable at least. Weird to think that both of these guys are world champions today, almost eight years later. Lesnar hits a powerslam on the floor. Freaking OW! Ross thinks Van Dam has the advantage in speed in quickness. My head hurts from announcers at times.

We hit the bear hug with Brock in control. Van Dam cues up his comeback with Heyman’s advice being DON’T LOSE! F5 is countered into a DDT. Five Star connects but Heyman pulls the referee out. Yep, it’s a weak DQ. The referee beats up Heyman for no apparent reason. F5 to RVD post match.

Rating: C+. The key thing here was they had to protect both guys and that’s what they did. Van Dam keeps the title and had Lesnar beat, but Lesnar didn’t get pinned. It’s a nice deal because as they said, Lesnar had nothing at all to lose here. This was fine for what it was.

Let’s waste more time outside Stephanie’s office because it worked so well last time. Stephanie walks out and she’s not happy looking. She says he signed. Ok then. HHH walks out and Bischoff yells at him. Apparently he signed divorce papers. He hasn’t decided on who to sign with yet.

BigShowvs. BookerT

This is no DQ for no apparent reason. Maybe we’ll GET AN EXPLANATION HERE! No count outs either which I would have though was self-explanatory. Ah here’s an explanation. Show beat up Booker on Raw to culminate their feud. SO WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING??? Booker is in blue here which is oddly working for him. Apparently Show wanted the stipulations here. Oh and Show is in his one piece swimsuit again.

He would be the first guy to beat Lesnar. Wow. He’s just big, slow and bad here. We hear WWF here which would be a big issue today. If nothing else Show looks funny, although I don’t think that was their intention. Booker gets a good monitor shot into the head of Show on the floor. We now get one of the most contrived spots I can remember in a long time.

After that monitor shot, Booker gets on the other end of the tables and Show just happens to stay in perfect position for the axe kick. So if he hadn’t stood like that, what would Booker have done instead? That’s what I mean by contrived. We go back in and an axe kick and the Houston Hangover (front flip into a leg drop from the top) gets a clean pin. This was borderline squash.

Rating: D+. Not very good and that awful spot killed it for me. This was just random and it came off badly. Booker went on the hottest streak of his life just after this, culminating in being fed to HHH at Mania 19. This was just a weird one though.

Torrie and Dawn Marie are at The World, the newly named WWF New York. This was pointless.

And here’s HHH. Yeah, after about a month off or so, it’s time to talk about what his career plans are. Oh freaking JOY. Apparently he’s the biggest name in wrestling. Ok then. And we’re into HHH is awesome time now. Ross says he coined the phrase Cerebral Assassin months ago. Yeah that’s why they were using it OVER A YEAR AGO at Mania 17. Before he can talk though, here’s Bischoff. Once his theme song ends, his video keeps playing. Ok then.

Bischoff’s main pitch is he’s all business rather than personal. He offers HHH movie roles etc. He almost calls HHH a WCW Superstar. That was almost funny. He’s getting a shoe deal too. And here’s Stephanie of course. The weak rap/hip hop song for her just fails though. Wow Stephanie trying to be tough always FAILS. Oh yeah, and she cannot talk at all. They were unstoppable apparently.

You know, until they got, you know, stopped. Eric and Stephanie go back and forth for a bit with Stephanie mentioning that Eric once said HHH had no talent or charisma. WOW this is making my head hurt. Now HHH talks for awhile. This is just painfully bad. He sticks his hand out to Eric. He doesn’t shake it. He says he’d rather go with the devil he knows rather than the one he doesn’t. And here’s HBK who just left the NWO. Yeah that was just stupid.

The NWO had more or less been threatening to force HHH to join them on Raw. OH THAT’S RIGHT! Booker and Show were fighting because they were in the NWO together and Shawn said Booker was the reason the team sucked so Big Show started fighting Booker. This era sucked.

The NWO is gone now as they realized the thing was just stupid at this point. Shawn talks him into coming back to Raw. HHH turned heel the next night and beat up Shawn. This is ten minutes I’ll never get back. Gah it’s not over yet. Stephanie and Eric have to talk a bit more.

Rikishi says he’s surprised about HHH. This was pointless.

Booker and Goldust get asked about HHH. Booker says bring him on. Goldust makes a bad sex joke.

We recap the 4th of July tag title change. Edge was a childhood Hulkamaniac so they just randomly won the tag titles. Christian and Lance Storm were the UnAmericans at the time, so the REAL CANADIAN Edge and Hogan defended the country. Yeah it was stupid.

TagTitles: LanceStorm/Christianvs. HulkHogan/Edge

This isn’t going to be fun is it? I think the tag titles went on both brands at the time but I’m not sure. Yeah they did. Ross then explains that Toronto is in Canada. Ok then. It’s also the Hendrix music for Hogan. Yes let’s pay a commercial artist for music when WE OWN THE MOST FAMOUS SONG IN WRESTLING HISTORY! He follows that up by TWICE, yes TWICE saying that Hogan fought Warrior at Mania 3. WOW.

I knew that when I was 4 years old. Hogan vs. Christian starts. That’s a weird thing to see: Hogan fighting a guy that’s young and talented that hasn’t been elevated up yet. Dang how out of place does Hogan look here? If you get another talented guy in there, you could have a pretty interesting tag match. Or like this: Edge vs. Lance Storm. That sounds perfectly entertaining. This however, just isn’t interesting. Also, within about two months, Hogan has won the tag and world titles.

He’s like what, 50 at this point? Is there a reason to give him such title runs here? I can almost guarantee you that Edge will get pinned here if they lose the belts. Naturally Edge is the one getting beaten down. Hogan comes in and Christian goes for that diving reverse DDT of his. Hogan botches the HECK out of it. You know, because it’s such a hard move to take isn’t it? Leg drop to Christian but Storm makes the save.

Hogan doesn’t take the superkick from Storm right either. Edge comes in to clean house while Hogan looks for a pudding pack or something. And there goes the referee. Test runs down to beat up Hogan and Edge. Storm covers Edge for only two. Wow that surprised me. Rikishi of all people comes down to beat up Test. Sure why not?

Christian distracts the referee and JERICHO comes out to nail Edge with a title belt for the ending. Wow it only took four guys to get the belt off of Hogan and he didn’t even get pinned. That might be a new record low for Hogan. Naturally, this title that Hogan was so proud of was never mentioned again and he never went after it again.

Rating: D. Just bad and Hogan looked awful out there. Four guys to get the title off of Hogan. He botches a ton of spots, and he doesn’t even let Storm or Christian get to say they pinned Hogan. Yeah, this is definitely about the young guys. Can’t you see that?

Bischoff tries to get Angle onto Raw. Smart if nothing else.

Stephanie threatens to rip the heart out of Raw. Not sure what she means but she did get the IC Title to Smackdown. Pay no attention to the fact that the belts were unified soon after and we had the idiotic year where there were only world champions. Yeah it was stupid.

We recap the triple threat main event. Rock had a title shot for no apparent reason and there’s the famous Taker taps out while pinning Angle thing. Replays in slow enough motion show Taker tapping before the three hit the mat but whatever. It was a draw but whatever. That actually happened at UFC 34 in a Matt Hughes fight.

He was in a triangle choke and tried to slam the guy into the mat. He did so and won by knockout, but he was out from the choke. Taker suggested doing it to set up this angle. But no Vince, UFC which today is light years ahead of what it was back then has no impact on wrestling at all.

UndisputedTitle: TheRockvs. KurtAnglevs. Undertaker

So Rock is officially an actor now but he’s here for no adequately explained reason. That would come at Summerslam though. It’s your standard triple threat so far with Angle and Rock doing the heavy lifting early on. Taker goes for the chokeslam on Rock but Rock does it to him. In other words he did a Rock Bottom but didn’t go down with him. They show a close up replay and I forgot it was a chokeslam. Rock puts the ankle lock on Angle and Angle hits him with a Rock Bottom.

Taker hits an Angle Slam on Angle as we have a nice little sequence there. That wasn’t bad at all. I love it when Taker grabs a guy by the throat and throws them into the corner to punch the heck out of them. We do the standard one guy goes down and the other two fight for awhile. It does help as you can get three one on ones rather than a threeway so that’s good. Angle is bleeding. Not a bad cut either. He gets beaten back and forth between both guys.

Not bad, but this needs to pick things up a little. Oh look the referee is down and his leg hurts. Oh ok he’s already up again. Angle takes both guys out and covers Taker which is stupid as he was put down first. Taker hits the Last Ride but Angle gets the ankle lock. We use the same finish from Smackdown but now Rock is in the ankle lock. We’re fully into the whole finisher marathon segment here and it’s boring.

Rock Bottom to Taker gets two as Angle is down. Angle Slam to Taker but the Rock Bottom to Angle ends it. Meh. I would have been more interested if I didn’t know the winner beforehand. And I didn’t know because of this being 8 years ago. I knew because of the Rock/Lesnar poster they accidentally released two weeks before Rock won the title.

Rating: B-. Not bad, but DANG the whole nothing but finishers for the last 5 minutes got annoying. Rock jobbing to Lesnar was good and this set that up so I can’t complain much there. Angle was a nice placeholder I guess but this just wasn’t anything special at all. Seeing Taker do an Angle Slam was cool though. Just nothing special at all.

Overall Rating: D+. Nothing special here at all. This was a totally uninteresting show from start to finish with no great matches and 15 minutes going to HHH saying Raw rather than a long match in between. Thankfully this was the end of Hogan’s time around titles but man this was boring. The whole show just came off as uninteresting and like a waste of time. Take a pass here, although the triple threat is watchable.

 

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Monday Night Raw – June 10, 2002: Even Austin Couldn’t Save This

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 10, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Austin is gone. That’s the main difference between this week and last week, and if you’ve read about the June 3 show, you can see why that’s such a huge deal. Austin was the only main event good guy on this whole show, which is why things should be very interesting here. There’s a new main event tonight with Vince facing Flair for total control of the company, because when the biggest star in the company leaves, it’s time to bring back Vince. Let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up.

Here’s Flair to open things up. He talks about how he lost clean to Austin last week and he doesn’t like it. However, he lost a fair match so he’s here to take his punishment like a man. Unfortunately, Austin isn’t here, so….here’s Vince instead. Vince says he created Raw about ten years ago and he knows what it takes to be an owner. Flair is about the sorriest owner he’s ever seen in his life. Flair has run this show into the toilet, and despite being a 16 time world champion, he still sucks.

Flair wants to know what Vince proposes we do about it. Vince says that unlike Austin, he has the guts to be here tonight and look Flair in the eyes. He doesn’t have to do this for the money anymore because he’s a billionaire. He can’t stand another day with Flair owning half of what Vince created, so how about tonight, one on one, for everything. As in the winner is the owner of the whole company. Flair calls Vince a Nature Boy wannabe, struts some, and says it’s on.

Earlier today Nash was reading the paper when Pac comes in. They’re outside of the NWO locker room because Shawn wants private time. Big Show comes up needing to get in because he had Mexican food today. Booker comes in and wants to talk to Shawn, but when he can’t get in he sings Shawn’s music. Then he sings a version with Booker themed lyrics instead. This pointless segment has been brought to you by the NWO.

Booker T/X-Pac/Big Show vs. Spike Dudley/Tommy Dreamer/Shawn Stasiak

Booker gets his own entrance for some reason. Pac and Spike start things off with Pac taking him down with a shoulder block that did not connect at all. Spike gets sent into the corner and there’s the Bronco Buster. A headscissors puts Pac down and it’s off to Big Show vs. Stasiak. We cut to the NWO locker room where Shawn and Nash are watching. Nash shuts the door.

The fans want Booker as Dreamer throws a bucket of confetti at Booker ala the Harlem Globetrotters. Everything breaks down and the side kick pins Tommy. Booker was just begging for a big push but it wouldn’t come until January and HHH would make sure that got killed as fast as possible. Such is life in WWE. The match was nothing.

Booker plays to the crowd post match and we get a Spinarooni.

Goldust, dressed as the gold Undercover Brother, comes up to Booker in the back and thinks they’re holding Booker down, because, and I’m not making this up, Shawn Michaels is a racist. Stop, go back, you’re not talented enough. Turn around and abort the angle NOW.

Molly is over getting hit with the title last week. Now she’s mad at Terri for being a fake journalist who is there for her sex appeal. Trish comes up and makes fun of Molly for being somewhat fat. Yes young girls, you need to look like Terri and Trish, as in the blonde surgically augmented rails as opposed to the girls that look normal yet perfectly fine like Molly. If Molly loses the match with Trish tonight, she has to wrestle in a thong. Whatever.

Benoit and Eddie come in to see Flair and question his agreeing to the main event tonight. Flair says it’s ok.

European Title: Bradshaw vs. William Regal

Regal is defending even though Bradshaw is Hardcore Champion at the same time. Regal takes him to the mat so Bradshaw pounds him in the face in the corner. Elbow gets two for Bradshaw. Regal hits the knee to the head for the same and goes all evil with his mean face. He punches Bradshaw in the face so Bradshaw comes back with rights of his own. Regal Cutter gets two and it’s off to a modified camel clutch. Fallaway slam puts Regal down and a DDT gets two. Bradshaw loads up the Clothesline but here’s Christopher Nowitski to distract the referee so Regal can knock Bradshaw out with the knucks to retain.

Rating: D-. I can pretty easily see why this title didn’t last much longer. There was nothing to it other than the ending which I guess sets up Regal and Nowitski as pompous brothers which isn’t something we really needed to see getting time here. Bradshaw in this role was horrible as a singles guy.

Nowitski, who was there as a fan, gets to leave with Regal instead of getting arrested. Replay shows that he threw the knuckles to Regal.

Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly

Non title here but if Molly wins she gets a title match. If she loses, she has to wrestle in a thong. We replay the segment from earlier to rub in Molly’s lack of looks. Oh there’s going to be a rant on that in a minute. Molly takes over to start and puts Trish down for two. Handspring elbow gets two for Molly as Lawler makes jokes about her hip size. A neckbreaker by Trish puts both chicks down. Stratusfaction is countered and the Molly Go Round gets the pin. Short and bad.

Ok, so my only response to this is screw WWE. Screw their stupid mentality, screw their opinion of women, and screw whoever writes this nonsense. Molly at this point would be 25 years old and Trish would be 26. Molly is a very attractive and curvy woman. She’s also athletic enough to be a WWE Diva, which means she can’t be in that bad of shape. She was in the WWE Swimsuit Magazine and looked fine there too. On the other hand you have Trish Stratus who is a once in a lifetime drop dead gorgeous woman, but she has more plastic in her than a shopaholic’s wallet.

What WWE is telling women is that unless you look like Trish Stratus who has probably had thousands of dollars in plastic surgery done on her, you’re overweight and not worth looking at. You know, because EVERYONE looks like Trish Stratus right? I mean I see at least ten women as hot as her every day.

Trish is indeed gorgeous, but she’s also a fitness model that has spent years sculpting her body to look like that. Not everyone has the genetics to look like she does and what WWE is telling young women here is that if you look like Molly, who looks great, you’re not worth looking at. That’s some dangerous territory to venture into and it’s ridiculous as well. That’s sickening of WWE and I’d bet they didn’t see a thing wrong with it.

Arn Anderson comes up to see Vince and says he thinks Vince is nuts. Vince shoves Arn away. Make sure to run down those WCW guys in their hometown Vince. They might be hurting your dominance of the industry somehow.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Rob Van Dam vs. Eddie Guerrero

Rob takes him into the corner to start and then it’s down to the mat. Eddie hits him in the face and low bridges Van Dam out to the floor. RVD kicks him down and hits a splash off the apron to put both guys down. Back in and a suplex gets two for RVD. Eddie comes back with some clotheslines and stomps to take over. He hooks a Fujiwara Armbar as Jerry praises the potential injuries. JR tells kids not to listen to this man because CLEARLY WWE is the moral authority right?

A belly to back suplex gets two for Eddie but Rob comes back with a clothesline. He goes up but gets crotched, resulting in a superplex for two for Eddie. Van Dam comes back with a Regal Roll and a middle rope moonsault for two. Split legged moonsault misses and a dropkick gets two for Eddie. Rob reverses a rana into a pinfall reversal sequence and the timing is awful but it results in Van Dam getting the pin

Rating: C. Good match up until the ending, but the problem here is that they had a great match on Raw two weeks ago and now they’re not really trying anymore. Van Dam would go on to the finals of the tournament while Eddie would kind of do nothing for awhile. This wasn’t a bad match or anything but it was nothing great.

Undertaker gets here.

The NWO has nothing to say.

Here’s Undertaker for a chat. He has someone hold up the title during his promo whichis a pretty good jerk move. Taker says he wants respect, which HHH didn’t give him. HHH got beaten down for that lack of respect and he’ll lose at King of the Ring too. Now Jeff Hardy is disrespecting him too and that’s not cool.

Taker wants Jeff to come out here right now and take his punishment like a man but instead it’s Matt with a ladder. Jeff jumps Taker from behind and the Hardys get a double beatdown for a bit. That gets them nowhere as Taker destroys them both, only to have the Last Ride broken up. The Hardys bring in the ladder and Jeff dives on Taker. Somehow this took eleven minutes.

Regal and Nowitski are leaving when Jeff Hardy runs in, yells at the camera and steals an SUV.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock sends him into the corner to start but Bubba comes back with a neckbreaker. Bubba goes for a table but stops to chase Heyman, allowing Brock to hit a BIG overhead belly to belly to take over. There’s a bearhug followed by another suplex for two. Brock charges into a post and gets caught in a release German to put both guys down. There’s the Flip Flop and Fly followed by another German for two. The middle rope backsplash gets two but Bubba has to chase Heyman. Bubba runs into the F5 for the pin to send Brock to the next round.

Rating: D+. Not much here but Brock was in need of ring time more than anything else at this point. For the life of me I don’t get what people saw in Bubba Ray back then as he was nothing special at all, at least not as the generic guy he was here. There was nothing of note here at all but it got the job done I guess.

We recap the challenge from Vince from earlier.

Heyman comes to Vince and offers Lesnar as help after Vince gets full control.

We get a clip from WWE Confidential of Rock saying he’s coming back.

Here’s Shawn who also has his own music other than the NWO theme. Shawn calls it the WWF and says back in his day, they had it all, from garbage men to clowns. The one real thing though was him. Oh this is going to be GOOD. Then the fans and Vince decided that Shawn’s back was broken and maybe it was time for Attitude. Shawn says he was Attitude before it was a catchphrase.

Then the company got behind Austin and he stole Shawn’s spotlight. But Shawn isn’t blaming Austin you see. It was the fans that ran to Austin like a prostitute runs to a millionaire. So why is he here? It’s not to wrestle because he already made that mistake once. One man has stood by him forever, and that’s Kevin Nash. Here’s the rest of the NWO and Shawn says he’s proud of Nash for getting to be such a big deal.

Shawn says he’s seen something that is standing out. Big Show stands out but that’s not the problem. Maybe they’re not focused, which brings him to X-Pac. That’s not it either as Pac is the most talented guy in wrestling today. And there’s a superkick for Booker to kick him off the team and FINALLY make him a face. Booker has been trying to steal the spotlight, “Just like The Rock is stealing it from Hunter” and now no one is doing that again.

Vince McMahon vs. Ric Flair

No holds barred. No robe for Flair for some reason. They start on the floor and Vince wins a slugout. They go into the crowd with Flair in control. Back into the ring and Vince slams him down for no cover. Instead he goes out and gets the bell which goes upside Flair’s head. Ric is busted open and they head back to the floor. Vince rams his head into the steps a few times and they head back inside. A bunch of punches and a clothesline gets two.

Vince kicks him low for another two as JR talks about the bruising of Space Mountain. There’s a chair but Flair kicks Vince in the face instead. A chair shot to Vince’s back puts him down again and it’s time to go for the knee. Here’s Arn to watch as Vince gets hit in the grapefruits. The Figure Four goes on but Brock comes in with the F5 to give Vicne full control.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. A lot of the spots were missing and the Vince offense was awful. Granted that probably had a lot to do with him not being a wrestler or anything, but that’s never stopped him before. The ending was pretty weak too, making the match bad overall. At least it wasn’t that long I guess.

JR sums things up by saying that Satan is back in business.

Overall Rating: D. The funk continues to the point where I think we can flat out call this a bad show overall. Not this week’s mind you, but on a regular basis. Nothing was particularly good here and I defy you to tell me what the long term goal for any of this is. Shawn coming back helped them more than anything as it gave them something to focus on. Bad show here.

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