Thought of the Day: The Other Rookie Class

So I’ve been doing more of the 1999 Raw’s and EGADS the talent that came through around that time.I know we always talk about the Class of 2002 with Cena, Orton, Lesnar, Mysterio and Batista. That’s very good, but consider who WWE brought in from February 1999-January 2000:

Big Show

Chris Jericho

Kurt Angle

Dudley Boyz

Chris Benoit

Eddie Guerrero

Five World Champions and the most decorated tag team of all time. It might not have the marquee value of 2002, but this is one of the best years for talent acquisitions of all time and has to beat anything else for second place.

Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2002: Time To Play For HHH

Royal Rumble 2002
Date: January 20, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 12,915
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the first step to things falling downhill, as we’re a few months away from the Brand Split and things falling through the floor in quality. The main event tonight aside from the Rumble is Jericho defending his newly won Undisputed Title (which he won by beating the Rock and Steve Austin IN THE SAME NIGHT in case you didn’t know that) against Rock. HHH is back in the ring tonight also (he may have fought on Smackdown before this but I don’t think he did) so let’s get to it.

The opening video has clips of various Rumble wins in a photo album kind of theme. The theme for this year’s show is 30 Men, 1 Winner. I’ve heard worse ideas which we’ll get too very soon.

Tag Titles: Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Dudley Boys

I LOVE Stacy as the Duchess of Dudleyville. I never remember her looking better. Anyway, Spike and Tazz are defending here in a reign that I don’t think anyone ever remembers. The Dudleys beat up Spike recently so he’s in a neck brace. The Dudleys attack to start and hit the belly to back neckbreaker on Tazz on the floor. It’s Bubba vs. Spike to start things off in a handicap match for all intents and purposes. Bubba rips the neck brace off and drops a big elbow.

Bubba shouts at Spike to get up as we get a very nice shot of Stacy. Tazz is back on the apron as D-Von hits a Hennig necksnap of all things. Bubba loads up a second brainbuster on Spike but gets countered into a Dudley Dog for no cover. The tag to Tazz is missed so Spike has to take a double flapjack instead. Spike avoids a headbutt from D-Von and makes the Dudleys clothesline each other. Hot tag brings in Tazz to clean house with suplexes. A big boot to Bubba’s head sets up a top rope cross body by Spike for two. Stacy interferes and gets put in the Tazmission. D-Von gets caught in the same hold and the champions retain.

Rating: D+. I have no idea what the point of this being on PPV was as it barely broke five minutes. Nothing with Stacy in the Dudley attire can be bad, but this came about as close as you can get. Actually scratch that as it wasn’t so much bad but just short. I have no idea why this wasn’t on Raw or something like that. Tazz would be retired very soon after this due to a horrible neck.

We immediately go to a recap of Regal vs. Edge which is based on Regal using brass knuckles over and over again. Edge got fed up with it and beat up a lot of people with a chair.

Edge has a chair with him tonight to counter the knuckles. Apparently he broke Regal’s nose recently.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Edge is defending. The referee checks Regal over and over again for knuckles and finds them in his trunks. Well you can’t say he didn’t do his job. The referee stupidly puts them on the ring post instead of like, giving them to someone to take to the back or something. Edge pounds away to start and chokes with his boot in the corner. He goes after Regal’s bad nose as Lawler claims conspiracy.

Regal comes back with a clothesline but Edge kicks him in the back to put both guys down. Being the British dude that he is, Regal suplexes Edge down for two. Make that four. Uh six. Yet somehow that isn’t three. Off to an arm trap chinlock followed by a hard forearm to put the champion down again. A double arm powerbomb hits Edge for two and they head to the apron. Edge busts out a DDT onto said apron, further injuring Regal’s nose.

Back in and they ram heads to put both guys down as the match continues to drag at a slow pace. Edge wins a slugout and takes Regal down with a spinwheel kick and a suplex for two. Regal suplexes him down as well, only for Edge to hit a big old clothesline for two more. The Regal Stretch goes on out of nowhere but Edge reverses into a terrible version of his own to no avail. A top rope spinwheel kick puts Regal down but he finds another set of brass knuckles. Instead of swinging them though, he pulls the referee in the way of Edge’s spear. Regal clocks Edge and wins the title.

Rating: D+. This didn’t click at all. Regal didn’t seem interested in selling at all and Edge wasn’t ready to carry a match by himself yet. He was getting to the point where he could but it would take a summer of feuding with Eddie to get him up to that point. Regal wouldn’t really do anything with the belt other than lose it to RVD. Nothing to see here.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Jacqueline is referee for absolutely no apparent reason and Trish is defending. Jazz is basically being a bully and has injured Trish’s hand coming into this. Jazz jumps Trish to start but misses a splash, giving Trish two off a rollup. A modified hot shot slows the champ down again and a legdrop gets two. Jazz works on the bad hand for a bit but Jackie pulls them out of the ropes. Jackie of course makes it all about herself and won’t count a cover on Trish. Stratusfaction hits out of nowhere for two and Jazz is up a few seconds later, basically no selling it. Trish hits a bad looking running bulldog to retain.

Rating: D. It was short, it was sloppy, the ending was stupid and Jackie was in it. What other kind of grade do you expect here? Stratus was starting to get better but it would take another year and Lita before she got amazing. Jazz was a pretty stupid pick to bring over to WWE as no one remembered her and she didn’t have the looks to back up any lack of hype. Bad match here.

Flair says he’ll win.

We recap Vince vs. Flair. Flair debuted after Survivor Series as the new co-owner of the company and has driven Vince crazy since. This led up to a street fight tonight between the two of them tonight which isn’t as big a deal as they were shooting for I don’t think. The highlight of it was Vince dressing up as Flair and saying destroying lives turned him on.

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Remember this is a street fight. Vince shoves him down to start and struts, so Flair punches him down and struts as well. Flair wins a chop battle in the corner (duh) so Vince goes to the eyes to escape. There’s the Flair Flop followed by a Flair Flip in the corner as Vince is in full control. We head to the floor and get our first weapon shot, with Vince pounding on Ric with a metal Keep Off sign.

There’s a trashcan shot to the head and Flair is busted open. How thin must the skin on his forehead be? Anyway, Vince steals a camera from someone to take a picture of Flair’s cut before we head back inside. Since he’s a jerk, Vince starts working over the knee in (less skilled) Flair fashion. The leg is wrapped around the post and Vince puts on a Figure Four that Dusty Rhodes would be jealous of.

Flair turns the hold over and Vince IMMEDIATELY lets go of the hold. So not only is he better at it than some wrestlers, he’s also smart. Never let it be said that Vince doesn’t know what he’s doing. Vince bails to the floor and grabs a lead pipe that he used to bust Flair open in the build up to the match. Flair catches him coming in with a low blow and pounds away on the floor.

Vince takes a monitor shot to the head and in a weird spot, we see a replay on the monitor on the table as the live match goes on. Vince is busted open now and we head back inside. Scratch that as we go back outside immediately where Flair’s family takes pictures of Vince’s cut. Set it up earlier, pay it off later. Good move. Back in and Flair kicks him low again just because he can, cracks him in the head with the pipe and ends it with the Figure Four.

Rating: C+. At the end of the day, this match makes as much sense as almost anything you’ll see. Vince controlled at the beginning, but at the end of the day he’s a boss and Flair is a veteran wrestler and athlete. It makes sense for him to be able to shrug that off and destroy Vince with relative ease once he got the upper hand. On top of that we got some good blood and Vince getting hit in the balls so how can this not be entertaining?

Stephanie talks trash about everyone else in the Rumble and runs down Debra as well. Austin walks up and WHAT’s her away. Cole gets a bit of it too. This is when the bit was brand new and still kind of funny, as opposed to now when it ruins almost every serious promo.

No highlight package for the world title match? For those of you not around in 2002 (LUCKY!), Jericho won the title in December, beating Rock along the way. It makes sense for Rock to get the first shot, especially since they feuded over the end of the year.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho still has both titles because HHH wasn’t there to win the first Undisputed Title and get the new belt. Rock decks him immediately and the champ heads to the floor, only to run back in and get punched some more. Jericho misses a charge and hits the post but pulls off a hot shot out of nowhere to give himself a breather. They trade strikes in the corner before Jericho hits a spinwheel kick to Rocky’s arms for two.

A suplex gets two for Jericho and for some reason Rock’s left thumb is sticking out. The champ unhooks a buckle but can’t get the Walls. A missile dropkick gets two on Rock and it’s off to the chinlock. That goes on for a good while so Chris goes up again, only to get crotched and superplexed. A belly to belly suplex gets two for Rock but Jericho clotheslines him down and hits the Lionsault. Due to high reasons of arrogance, Jericho waits forever to cover and fights with the referee after getting two.

Another dropkick attempt by Jericho is caught in a Sharpshooter, but here’s Lance Storm for a distraction while Jericho taps. Christian comes in as well and is promptly punched out by Rock. Jericho hits a Rock Bottom on Rock for two and the frustration begins. The champ loads up a People’s Elbow but Rock nips up and sends Jericho out to the floor.

Both guys are rammed into both announce tables before Jericho’s Rock Bottom attempt is countered into an AWESOME looking Rock Bottom by Rock from one table through the other. That only gets two back inside before Jericho counters another Rock Bottom into the Liontamer (yes I said Liontamer instead of the Walls). Ok now it’s the Walls, which allows Rock to make the rope.

The jumping clothesline takes the referee down by mistake, allowing Jericho to blast Rock with the belt. Another referee slides in and gets two off that and Rock DDTs Jericho down. Rock covers….and Nick Patrick won’t count. There’s a Rock Bottom for his efforts and a People’s Elbow for Jericho but there’s no referee. Rock checks on Hebner, allowing Jericho to hit him low, send him into the Chekov’s Gun in the shape of an exposed turnbuckle. All that plus a rollup with his feet on the ropes is enough for Jericho to retain the title.

Rating: B. This took awhile to get going but once things picked up it turned into what you would expect from Rock vs. Jericho in a nearly 20 minute match. The overbooking worked here as Jericho needed something to boost him up to Rock’s level, which is what you’re supposed to do as a heel. Good stuff here and a very fine title match.

Shawn Michaels, in a really stupid looking Texas flag shirt, is at WWF New York. He picks Taker or Austin to win the Rumble.

Video on the Rumble. The main picks to win are Taker, HHH, Angle and Austin.

Royal Rumble

Rikishi and Goldust are #1 and #2 respectively and we’ve got two minute intervals. Goldie walks around Rikishi to start and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Rikishi knocks him around for a bit but can’t quite drop the big load on Goldie’s chest. A backdrop puts Goldust on the apron and Boss Man is #3, making it 2-1 against Rikishi. Goldust gets punched in the face but Boss Man pounds Rikishi into the corner. The heels explode after a long one minute partnership.

Bradshaw is #4 and hopefully he can pick things up a bit. He beats up everyone as Rikishi loads up the Stinkface on Boss Man. A superkick and a clothesline put Boss Man out and there’s a Samoan Drop to Bradshaw. Goldie pounds away on Bradshaw in the corner and gets powerbombed for his efforts. Lance Storm is #5 and absolutely nothing of note happens until Al Snow (on Tough Enough at this point) is #6. Bradshaw kills Storm with the Clothesline as the fans want Head.

Billy of Billy and Chuck is #7 and we’re still waiting on something to happen. The fans are still into this at least so it’s not a failure at this point. Storm and Snow fight to the apron with Snow superkicking Lance to an elimination. Billy dumps Bradshaw and Undertaker is finally #8 to pick things up a bit. A chokeslam kills Billy (the third in the series, not starring Uma Thurman) and another one puts out Goldust. Snow and Rikishi are dumped out and Billy follows them, leaving Undertaker alone to a big reaction. He’s evil here in case you’re not up on Taker history.

Matt Hardy is #9, which is interesting as Taker injured both Hardys and Lita. The redhead gets in along with Matt and helps him take the big man down via a low blow. Matt hits a Twist of Fate and stomps away but can’t get Taker out. Naturally Jeff Hardy is #10 because that’s how the TOTALLY RANDOM draw works in the Rumble.

Taker slugs down one of the best tag teams ever in just a few seconds, only to get caught in the Twist/Swanton combo. Again, why would you use moves that keep a giant on the mat? Not that it matters as Poetry in Motion is caught and Jeff is easily thrown out. The Last Ride kills Matt and he’s gone too, leaving Taker alone again. The clock during that segment was REALLY long too as they were roughly three minutes each to get the whole segment in.

Maven from Tough Enough is #11 but Lita is on the apron. Taker PUNCHES her down, drawing the Hardys back in. Taker dumps both of them again, but Maven dropkicks Undertaker in the back and eliminates him in arguably the biggest surprise elimination ever in the Rumble. The look on the Dead Man’s face is hilarious as he has absolutely no emotion at all. He calmly turns around, gets back in the ring, and mauls Maven, sending him through the ropes to the floor. A HUGE chair shot cracks Maven’s head and the beating continues until Scotty 2 Hotty is #12.

Taker punches Scotty down and throws Maven back in to eliminate him, which under old Rumble rules would count. The beating goes into the crowd as there’s nothing in the ring at the moment. Christian is #13 but has no one to fight because Scotty is still down. Instead we go to the back where Maven is rammed face first into a popcorn machine. Taker eats a handful of popcorn and finally leaves Maven alone.

Scotty gets in and walks into a DDT as DDP is #14. Nothing of note continues to happen until Scotty superkicks Page through the ropes to the floor and hits the Worm on Christian. Page sneaks back in and throws Scotty out as Chuck is #15. They all beat on each other for a bit with Christian and Chuck teaming up for a bit. Godfather, now the owner of an escort service in an attempt to salvage the gimmick, is #16 and brings out 12 good looking women with him. Page is eliminated off camera during this.

With Godfather in the ring after about 15 seconds due to dancing, Albert is #17. He’s the Hip Hop Hippo at this point and lasts about 45 seconds before being tossed by the villains. Godfather is dumped soon thereafter, and here’s Saturn at #18. Chuck and Perry slug it out as the fans cheer for the Ho’s leaving. Nothing happens again, until Austin is #19. Chuck is the first victim, getting stomped down in the corner. There goes Christian, Saturn gets a Stunner, Chuck is eliminated, Saturn is dumped, Christian gets thrown back in, Stunned and thrown out again, Chuck gets the same as Christian, and Austin takes a breather.

Val Venis is #20 (and also returning) and things go about as you would expect, although Val does get in some offense and survives until Test is #21. A double teaming lasts for a bit until Austin remembers who he’s fighting and dumps both guys in a few seconds. Austin does his watch bit when no one is in the ring with him. Notice the difference between the big stars and the regular guys: the big ones are CONSTANTLY trying to keep the audience entertained instead of letting them die.

Speaking of entertaining the crowd, HHH is #22. The entrance takes about a minute and a half, they stare at each other for about twenty more seconds, and the slugout only lasts for a few seconds until Hurricane is #23. Luckily for him, the legends knock each other down so Hurricane can tries a double chokeslam. The look on Austin’s face is hilarious as the two of them dump Hurricane with ease.

Austin and HHH chop each other in the corner until Faarooqq is #24 and lasts about that many seconds. Mr. Perfect makes a surprise return at #25 to a big surprise reaction from the audience. He looks a bit, shall we say, tipsy here. Perfect chills on the floor a bit as JR makes a mistake, saying Perfect debuted at the Rumble in 1993. In reality he was #4 in 1989. Austin and HHH double team Perfect to no avail so here’s Angle at #26, drawing the rare double chant of YOU SUCK WHAT.

HHH and Angle pair off as do the other two guys and the match slows down a bit. Kurt starts suplexing people but can’t dump HHH because Austin makes the save due to reasons of a big ego. Big Show is #27 in his one piece women’s swimsuit. Angle gets chokeslammed so Austin and HHH double team the big man to limited avail. HHH saves Angle, presumably because he wants Kurt’s help to get Show out. Makes sense I guess.

Show dominates everyone until Kane is #28. HHH gets chokeslammed so we can have our battle of the giants. Jerry: “They’re not getting any smaller are they JR?” Uh yeah Jerry, actually they are. They do the double chokeslam spot but Kane kicks Show low and picks him up, slamming him to the floor. AWESOME display of strength there, but Angle immediately dumps Kane to get us back down to four.

Van Dam is #29 and hits a Five Star on Angle who is down from something we didn’t see. Everyone but HHH gets kicked down so he hits a Pedigree to put Van Dam down. Booker T is #30, giving us a final group of Booker, RVD, Angle, Perfect, HHH and Austin. Booker throws out RVD without having to do anything else thanks to the Pedigree. We get a Spinarooni, followed by a Stunner and elimination to get us down to Austin, Angle, HHH and Perfect.

Austin hits a slingshot into the post on HHH who walks into an Angle Slam. Angle rolls some Germans on Austin and the C/Kurts try to dump Austin. Austin hits some HARD right hands to break that up but as he tries to dump Perfect, Angle runs up and dumps the Rattlesnake. Austin pulls Perfect to the floor but Kurt sends Austin into the steps to break it up. Steve still isn’t done as he comes back in with a chair for all three guys. Eh he’s Austin so he can get away with it.

Angle accidentally clothesline Hennig but doesn’t eliminate him. There’s the PerfectPlex (BIG pop for that) to Kurt but HHH dumps Perfect a second later. Angle and HHH stare each other down and the Game pounds away on him to take over. Kurt gets HHH to the apron but can’t get the win. HHH chokes away but charges into a backdrop, sending him to the apron. Kurt makes the classic mistake of not making sure the other guy is out and gets clotheslined to the floor, giving HHH the Rumble. For you trivia guys, this is the longest Rumble ever to date, even going 11 seconds longer than the 40 man version.

Rating: C+. This has some very bad spots in it but the rest of the stuff is solid all around. Once Austin gets in there things pick up a lot, but the 18 guys before him don’t do much. Taker’s elimination came too fast which hurt things here, as there was no one of note from #9 until Austin at #19. Still though, the good stuff here was good enough to check this out, but you might want to fast forward some parts of it.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a pretty good but certainly not great show. 2002 was a bad year for the company on Raw and things were clearly starting to look weak here. The main problem was the lack of elevation of anyone new to the main event in the year, as the main events for almost every PPV were people who had been there before. There’s nothing on here that’s required viewing but there’s also nothing terrible on here either. Check it out but don’t expect to be blown away.

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Billy and Chuck

Original: C-

Redo: D+

William Regal vs. Edge

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Original: D+

Redo: D

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Chris Jericho vs. The Rock

Original: B+

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Yep, about the same for the most part here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/21/royal-rumble-count-up-2002-game-on/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series Count-Up – 2002: Eliminate HHH

Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

For those of you who have read my old reviews of this show, you might remember that the main event has sent me into various rantings and ravings over the years. It might have ticked me off more than any match ever at one point, though it’s since been topped multiple times. I’m kind of curious to see how I react to it this time around so let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on Big Show vs. Lesnar, which is built around the idea that Lesnar is banged up and can’t throw Big Show around like he can with everyone else. The Elimination Chamber actually takes second billing here.

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Elimination tables match and that would still be Bubba and Spike. The villains are quickly sent outside with Spike being thrown at the Samoans. He’s easily caught and 3 Minute Warning is nice enough to stand there while Bubba drops down for Poetry in Motion from Jeff. Back in and Jamal takes a hurricanrana out of the corner, followed by Jeff playing D-Von in What’s Up.

The first table is set up in the corner and Jeff is backdropped over the top for one heck of a crash. Rosey drives himself through a table (not an elimination) but stands up, allowing Jeff to hit a high crossbody….which just bounces off the big man. The Dudley Dog is countered and Spike is tossed through a table for the first elimination. Bubba and Jeff fight back but can’t get around the monsters.

Rosey takes Jeff outside and loads up a table but Bubba makes the save. A few forearms to the back allow Jeff to climb onto an exit tunnel for the Swanton to get rid of Rosey. Back in and Rico loads Bubba onto a table before setting up a moonsault. In a fairly infamous moment, there’s no Jeff to make the save so Rico stands there for about ten seconds and even Bubba can be seen looking around for Jeff. Rico very clearly shouts “COME ON JEFF” before Hardy crotches him for the save.

Jamal moves the table so Rico only has to take a regular belly to back superplex. That’s so much better you see. Jeff takes Jamal to the floor and tries to run the barricade (as in he climbs onto it and then runs instead of a running jump and then running across) but falls anyway, sending himself head first through a table. That would be twice in a week that he’s blown that spot and for some reason I don’t picture him being punished anytime soon. Thankfully Jamal hits one heck of a top rope splash to put Jeff through a table to get us down to 2-1.

Ever the genius, Jamal tries a hurricanrana with a table right behind him. After the most obvious powerbomb this side of an Undertaker match, we’re down to Bubba vs. Rico. 3 Minute Warning comes back in to beat on Bubba but D-Von comes out to FINALLY reunite with his brother to one heck of a reaction. A quick 3D puts Rico through a table for the win.

Rating: C+. They really didn’t have another option here as the Dudleys belong together. It would take about twelve years before Bubba was able to strike out on his own and even that only kind of worked. The tag division is dying for some better talent and while not the freshest thing in the world, the Dudleys are certainly better than most other options.

The rest of the match was entertaining but my goodness Jeff was embarrassing out there. He can barely do any of his signature stuff without messing something up anymore and yet he’s still out there every single week doing the same spots over and over. Get him some help already before this becomes an even bigger problem than it already is.

Stacy Keibler introduces Saliva to perform Always live at the World. At least we get some highlights for the show as a bonus.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Kidman is challenging after defeating Noble twice in the last two weeks. Noble tries a rollup for the fast pin before stomping Kidman down to really take over. A neckbreaker sets up a bow and arrow as Nidia is her usual VERY excited self. Jamie dives into a dropkick as the announcers talk about the tables match. A Hoshi Geroshi (or however you spell the fireman’s carry into a backbreaker) gets two on the champ, followed by a good looking placha to the floor.

Back in and Noble reverses a backslide into the tiger bomb for two but makes the mistake of putting Kidman on the top. A good looking super DDT plants Noble but since DDTs mean nothing, Jamie is right back up for a hanging DDT off the top for his own near fall. An enziguri drops Noble again and, after a failed Nidia distraction, the shooting star gives us a new champion.

Rating: C+. Some selling issues aside, this was a good, back and forth match with both guys looking strong. The problem is the division has fallen into the same pattern it always has: the champion and one challenger comprise the entire thing and that doesn’t exactly have staying power. The match was good though and Kidman winning the title is fine.

Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit get into it again but Angle insists that they’re amigos. Another long form hug ensues.

Victoria is getting ready but apparently her mirror thinks Trish Stratus is prettier.

We recap Victoria vs. Trish. Victoria claims that Trish slept her way into a job after WWE wanted to sign both of them. Now Victoria is here to get revenge on her former friend. The music sounds like the shower scene from Psycho for a nice touch.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Trish is defending and this is a hardcore match. Victoria wastes no time and puller her down by the coat before grabbing a broom. JR asks if she’s going to fly it and suggests Victoria is un-Divaesque. That’s probably an unintentional compliment. A trashcan lid gets knocked into the champ’s face and Victoria sends her into the steps. Victoria sets up a trashcan in the corner (with the hole facing the ring), only to have Trish catapult her hands first into said can (that looked horrible and no camera edit was going to save it).

A kick to the head gives Trish two and one heck of a trashcan lid shot knocks Victoria (and her bloody nose) to the floor. The Chick Kick gets two and a HORRIBLE bulldog out of the corner (Victoria’s head hit Trish’s ribs) is good for the same. Victoria blinds her with a fire extinguisher though and a snap suplex of all things gives us a new champion.

Rating: B-. Botches aside, this is a situation where the energy carries the match. They were beating the heck out of each other and you could feel the intensity. The botches and the ending really hold it down but it’s still one of the best women’s matches you’ll see around this time. I know there are still some major issues with the women of this era but this was miles ahead of most things you would see from them at this time.

Eric Bischoff is bragging about the Chamber when Big Show comes up. He’s going to prove Eric wrong for trading him.

Paul Heyman is nervous but says Brock needs to put it all behind him. Tonight they’re in MSG and Heyman is going to do whatever it takes to make sure his client leaves as champion.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and the fans are entirely behind him. Brock gets right in his face but gets tossed into the corner. That earns show a double leg takedown and there’s a belly to back suplex on Show. A German suplex follows and Heyman looks nervous. The ref gets bumped but Lesnar belly to bellies Show anyway. Heyman slides in a chair and Brock cracks Show in the head with it, setting up the F5. Another referee comes down but Heyman pulls him out at two. Reality sets in as the chase is on but Show chairs Lesnar in the bad ribs. A chokeslam onto the chair gives Lesnar his first pinfall loss.

Rating: C-. They did everything they could here and thankfully it was really short. Aside from the obvious, I still have a major problem with the story: why did Heyman go through with the screwjob? Lesnar proved him wrong by suplexing and F5ing Big Show but Heyman turned on him anyway. Wouldn’t it make more sense to stick with the more dominant force when you still have Lesnar to protect you? I’d assume it’s because of Heyman and Lesnar’s issues but Heyman has been able to talk Lesnar down before. It’s far from the worst stretch ever but I’m still not sure it makes the most sense.

Heyman and Show run to the parking lot and drive away.

We recap the Smackdown Tag Team Title match. All three teams have traded the titles for over a month now with one classic match after another. The only possible option was a triple threat match and Stephanie McMahon has made it an elimination match for even more fun. This is the real Smackdown main event and they’ve certainly earned that honor with everything they’ve done so far.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle vs. Los Guerreros vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Edge and Mysterio are defending and Angle/Benoit still can’t get along. Benoit and Mysterio start things off with Chris going head first into the buckle. Edge, in some shiny tights, comes in to drop Angle with a forearm. It’s back to Rey for a springboard splash on Chavo as they’re tagging very quickly here. Eddie comes in to a very noticeable pop and keeps Rey in trouble with some forearms to the back.

The fast tags continue as Angle comes in and goes shoulder first into the post. He’s still able to knock Rey off the top though and the champs stay in trouble. Benoit stays on Mysterio with some rapid fire suplexes as Los Guerreros are (wisely) content with staying on the floor. The Angle Slam doesn’t work so Kurt clotheslines Rey’s head off for two instead. We hit a long front facelock until Rey fights up for a spinwheel kick to the jaw. That’s enough for the hot tag to Edge as everything breaks down.

Rey hurricanranas Eddie to the floor, leaving Edge to get caught in an ankle lock/Crossface combination. Somehow he doesn’t tap out immediately so it’s Rey making the save, followed by a running corkscrew dive onto Chavo and Angle. Benoit grabs the German suplex on Edge, only to have Eddie come in off the top with a sunset flip to send both guys flying. Everyone gets up so Benoit sends Eddie outside, followed by the rolling German suplexes on Edge. Those things always look great.

Eddie gives Edge the frog splash but Benoit breaks it up with a Swan Dive for no apparent reason. Angle comes back in with the ankle lock on Eddie while Benoit Crossfaces Edge, only to have Chavo save Edge with the title. Kurt picks up the title so Benoit thinks it was him, leaving Edge to spear Benoit for the first elimination. That leaves us with two but Benoit and Angle wreck everyone before heading to the back. What poor sportsmanship.

We settle down to Eddie grabbing a sleeper on Edge, followed by a front facelock in case that’s too intense for you. Edge flapjacks both Guerreros and brings Rey back in as this isn’t exactly the break neck pace you would expect. Everything breaks down again and the pop up hurricanrana gets two on Eddie. That would look to set up the West Coast Pop but Chavo gets in a belt shot, knocking Rey into the Lasso From El Paso for the submission and the titles.

Rating: B. This wasn’t as good as I remember but I think that’s because I just recently watched all the TV matches, which were almost all better. This had too much to live up to and there’s only so much you can do when you’re asked to go out and have a masterpiece. The belt shots didn’t do much to help either as they’re hardly anything interesting and you expect more from these guys.

It’s still a good match and the best thing on the show by far though and it deserves a bit more than just criticism. Some of the sequences were excellent and showed some creativity, along with Benoit and Angle suplexing everything in sight. If this was one of the matches that took place on TV, it would be considered a classic. Some more time would have helped as well.

Here’s Christopher Nowinski to say he’s smarter than the rest of the crowd. After some lame New York Yankees jokes, Matt Hardy (who keeps the temperature at a toasty 75 degrees and only drinks low fat chocolate milk) comes out to say this place is sucking the Mattitude out of him. The payoff is Scott Steiner, who shows up and destroys both guys because we haven’t seen Matt get beaten up recently.

Shawn Michaels is ready to talk about why he believes he can win but RNN BREAKING NEWS tells us that Randy came here to watch. Luckily a sexy flight attendant gave him an extra pillow so there was no further damage to his shoulder.

Long video on the Elimination Chamber which doesn’t really tell us anything. Granted that’s because there isn’t a story here. Basically Bischoff wanted to top Stephanie’s pay per view and invented the Chamber. They’ve made no secret of the fact that this is ALL about HHH vs. Shawn Michaels.

HHH says he’s gone through everyone so he’ll go through everyone tonight too.

Bischoff comes out to walk through the Chamber and explain the rules. This time really couldn’t have gone to the Tag Team Title match? Just put it on a graphic or something…..which they do while Bischoff is still talking.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T. vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Rob Van Dam

HHH is defending. Saliva, at the World, plays Jericho’s music for a cool bit. As the entrances go on forever, it occurs to me how much Shawn’s hair looks like AJ Styles’ soccer mom look. HHH and Van Dam start things off with Rob going straight to the kicks. A backdrop puts HHH onto the steel floor and he hits the cage wall three times in a row. The champ is busted open and Van Dam monkey flips him onto the cage again.

Rolling Thunder over the top makes things even worse as it’s all Van Dam so far. Rob climbs up on top of Jericho’s chamber and gets his legs pulled down into it. Somehow that’s still not enough for HHH to do anything as Rob flips down onto HHH. See? He’s giving Van Dam a rub right now!

Jericho is in third but gets kicked down almost immediately as Rob stays on a roll. In your first ever Chamber highlight reel moment, Jericho catapults Van Dam at the cage wall and Rob just hangs onto it instead of crashing. HHH gets back up and knees Van Dam in the head, meaning it’s time for the double teaming to begin. Rob kicks them both down again and it’s Booker T in fourth to even things up, despite Van Dam doing just fine on his own.

Jericho and HHH are sent to the floor so we can get a Spinarooni, followed by a slugout with Van Dam. The good guys clean house again and it’s HHH getting knocked down, allowing Rob to climb an individual chamber. That means a Five Star, with his knee going right into HHH’s throat which put him out of action for a few weeks. Van Dam seems to have hurt his knee as well, allowing Booker to eliminate him with a missile dropkick. HHH can barely move so here’s Kane to get us back to four.

Jericho is launched through the bulletproof (yes bulletproof) glass to draw some more blood. Chris is fine enough to hit Booker low, followed by a chokeslam and the Lionsault to get rid of Booker. Now that the two guys who have been more over than the entire roster for the last three months are gone, let’s get on with the REAL entertainment.

Jericho and Kane slowly fight until HHH is slammed off the top. Shawn, looking like he’s wrestled one match in four and a half years and in hideous brown tights for some reason, comes in and gets to clean house for a bit. Kane chokeslams everyone but eats a superkick, Pedigree and Lionsault to get us down to three. Jericho and HHH team up on Shawn with HHH rubbing his head against the steel to bust Shawn open. A ram into the wall gives Shawn an opening and he forearms HHH, only to get bulldogged down.

The Lionsault gets two and Jericho is so frustrated that he gets caught in the Walls. HHH makes the save with a DDT but gets in a fight with Jericho over who can pin Shawn. Jericho grabs the Walls on HHH but gets superkicked for the elimination. As anyone paying attention expected, we’re down to HHH vs. Shawn with a spinebuster going straight for the bad back.

Shawn gets thrown through the glass as we really crank up the emotions. The slow beating continues with Shawn being thrown outside again, only to catapult HHH into the wall. Shawn’s top rope elbow gets no cover and HHH grabs the Pedigree for a delayed two. Another Pedigree attempt is countered and Sweet Chin Music gives Shawn the pin and the title.

Rating: B. I’m still not sure what to think of this match. Above all else, it’s long, far longer than it needed to be. The Chamber itself did help and was interesting to see but they need to tweak things a bit (lower the time to four minutes or so). It’s still good but there’s the other problem that it’s kind of hard to overcome: the whole thing felt like a big waste of time until we got to the ending.

That ending of course is Shawn vs. HHH and they might as well have just put up a big clock counting down until we got there. No one else mattered in this match and WWE did nothing to hide it. That makes for an ending similar to Wrestlemania XXXII with Roman Reigns vs. HHH: there’s no drama and it makes for a boring match because you’re just waiting to get to the part that matters.

While I still have issues about guys like Booker, Kane, Van Dam and Jericho being treated as second class citizens so HHH and Shawn can do it one more time (as in the second one more time), it’s not as bad as it once was. After watching the TV shows building up to this, it’s not like this was exactly shocking and the four of them were hardly made to look like real threats to take the title. That doesn’t make it any better but it does make things a bit easier to take.

Overall Rating: C+. This show is pretty much all over the place with good action (there really isn’t a bad match on the card) but sweet goodness some of the choices make your head spin. We really are watching a show in 2002 where Big Show and Shawn Michaels walked out with the World Titles. On top of that we had a less than mind blowing Tag Team Title match which was probably the highlight.

The big problem is that aside from the Chamber itself debuting, there really isn’t anything on here that feels big. Big Show winning was more groan inducing than anything else and Shawn winning felt like we were seeing the inevitable, though the celebration felt big. There’s nothing on here that’s going to really stick with you and that’s not good as the show is worth seeing for the action alone. Overall it’s good but really not remarkable, which is kind of an odd way to compliment a show.

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Original: C+

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Original: C-

2012 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B-

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D-

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C-

Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Original: B

2012 Redo: B+

2017 Redo: B

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2012 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: C+

I must have been in a REALLY bad mood when I watched the main event for the second time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/02/20/survivor-series-2002-the-longest-rant-about-anything-ive-ever-done/

And the 2012 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/10/survivor-series-count-up-2002/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam Count-Up – 2002: It Never Gets Old

Summerslam 2002
Date: August 25, 2002
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 14,797
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Jim Ross

It’s very rare that a Summerslam is the biggest show of the year but that might be the case in 2002. Wrestlemania XVIII was in a much bigger venue and had a much bigger top match but as far as a whole card goes from top to bottom, this might have it beaten. The big matches here are Brock Lesnar challenging the Rock for the Undisputed Title and HHH vs. Shawn Michaels in a grudge match with Shawn making his first in-ring appearance since 1998. Let’s get to it.

Not much of an opening video other than the theme song over shots of the crowd.

Opening sequence.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey showed Angle up recently and Kurt wants to prove that it’s just a fluke. Angle’s singlet looks like a barber pole and Rey sneaks in from behind with a springboard ankle scissors. The ankle lock goes on in less than thirty seconds but Rey sends him into the ropes with Kurt having to duck the 619.

A hard wheelbarrow suplex sends Rey hard onto the mat and one heck of a clothesline gives Angle two. Rey’s back is bent around the middle rope and Angle is getting a bit too cocky. A one legged Liontamer has Mysterio in even more trouble but a rollup gives him a fast two. Rey is certainly sticking around well enough so far.

That just ticks Angle off though and he throws Rey with a belly to belly. Kurt misses a charge though and goes sailing over the top but the referee won’t let Mysterio fly. That’s fine with Rey who flips OVER THE REFEREE to take Kurt down. The fans are losing their mind and Rey Dropping the Dime (springboard legdrop) for two makes them even worse. Now the 619 connects and the West Coast Pop is good for a VERY near fall. Rey puts him on top for a super hurricanrana but Angle slips out and grabs the ankle lock for the submission at 9:20.

Rating: A-. What a match. This is one of the best opening matches in company history as they just do not stop for the better part of ten minutes. It’s an outstanding performance with Rey getting his big breakout performance and Angle showing that he’s still one of the best in the world.

Stephanie McMahon brags about that match and tells a production guy to tell Eric Bischoff about it. She goes into her office and….there’s Eric, who seems to be sharing the office with her. I’m sure comedy and drama will ensue.

Ric Flair vs. Chris Jericho

Standard “you’re old and it’s my time so get out” feud with the required broken guitars to ruin a mid-show concert segment as well. This is actually Flair’s in-ring debut at Summerslam. Feeling out process to start and we hear about Jericho becoming the first ever Undisputed Champion. JR: “Not too many people can claim that.” Yeah Jim. I think it’s like, one or so.

Jericho misses an elbow drop and the chops start flying. They head outside with Jericho sending him into the barricade, followed by a middle rope dropkick for two back inside. Some suplexes stay on Flair’s back so you certainly can’t fault Jericho’s psychology. This time it’s Jericho taking too much time going up though and Flair slams him right back down.

The Walls are countered into a small package for two but Jericho goes extra evil by grabbing the Figure Four (I said evil, not original). In a creative save, Flair grabs the rope and then taps out, which means the hold is broken and the submission doesn’t count. The referee gets bumped and it’s a low blow into the Figure Four to make Jericho tap at 10:23.

Rating: C+. This was fine and while I’m not wild on having Flair go over Jericho, at least he lost in a good match to a dirty finish. If nothing else it could mean a whiny Jericho and that’s nothing but entertainment. Oh and Flair low blows are always worth checking out, just for how hard he hits those things.

Ad for a Hogan DVD.

Paul Heyman loves the idea of the Hogan DVD because it looks like they’re trying to squeeze out the final few dollars from his body after Lesnar destroyed him. Tonight, Lesnar destroys the Rock.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Apparently Eddie is mad that Edge fancies himself a sex symbol. I don’t really remember that being brought up on TV leading up to this match but maybe it was subtext. Eddie snaps the back of Edge’s neck across the top rope and takes over, only to get thrown across the ring.

Edge ties him up in the ropes and hits a spear but a second attempt misses to send the Canadian outside. That might mean a bad shoulder so Eddie sends him into the steps. Back to back DDT’s on the arm including one from the top get two on Edge and we hit a Kimura of all things.

It’s off to a crossface chickenwing and then a top wristlock which is a very good idea. I get so bored watching matches where we get the same hold over and over. There are so many holds that can be used on the same body part so mixing it up like this helps so much. Edge fights back with a one armed slam and a faceplant to send Eddie outside.

It doesn’t take two good arms to dive out to the floor so Edge takes Eddie out all over again. Back in and a super sitout gordbuster gives Edge two more, followed by the Edgecution for the same. Eddie goes right back to the shoulder but walks into the spear (more on that in a second) at 11:47.

Rating: B-. This was going to be much higher until that completely ridiculous ending. Eddie spent eleven minutes working on the arm and then Edge just uses the shoulder for the spear to end the match with nothing more than a flinch? There’s no excuse for that and Edge should know better.

The Un-Americans are ready to give the greedy Americans more. More of the Un-Americans that is.

Tag Team Titles: Goldust/Booker T. vs. Un-Americans

Lance Storm and Christian are defending. Goldust cleans house to start before it’s off to Booker, who JR describes as being “as Americana as Americana can be.” The Canadians are still reeling so Storm throws Goldust over the corner to take over, setting up some of those weird hopping stomps.

Christian gets two on a backbreaker, which JR says works on the back. Something like a Boss Man Slam gets Goldust out of trouble but Christian grabs a front facelock. As you might expect, that means a missed tag so Goldust has to catapult the champions into each other.

That’s STILL not enough for the tag though as the champs knock Booker off the apron, only to miss a Conchairto. The USA chant starts up and there’s the hot tag to Booker who scores with a missile dropkick on Christian. Storm hits the referee by mistake and both champions take the same ax kick. Cue Test to kick Booker’s head off, giving Christian the pin at 9:35.

Rating: C. The match was fine but the ending brought it down a good bit with the standard WWE style finish hurting things a lot. At least we had a good match to get there and the Un-Americans are still fine for heel champions. The Test stuff gets annoying but you had to know it was coming as soon as the ref went down.

There’s a Make Out with Nidia Contest at the World. We’re moving on before that sinks in.

Stephanie and Bischoff debate women’s place in wrestling. McMahon: “It’s like mine: ON TOP!” This turns into a discussion of the Intercontinental Title match and GOOD GRIEF Stephanie’s acting is somehow worse here.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

This is Raw vs. Smackdown and Benoit is defending. A kick to the leg sends Benoit outside but he comes back in and easily takes Van Dam down until Rob starts spinning around to escape. The release German suplex drops him again though and Benoit starts in on the neck to set up for the Crossface later on.

A Dynamite Kid snap suplex gets two on Van Dam but he avoids the Swan Dive. Chris does the same to the Five Star though and it’s time for the Crossface. The long legs get Van Dam over to the ropes so Benoit shoves him off the top and down onto the barricade for a crash. Benoit cranks on the arms for a bit and slams him head first into the mat to keep Van Dam in trouble.

It’s right back to the Crossface with Van Dam quickly breaking free, only to be sent shoulder first into the post. Some suplexes onto the arm make me realize that Eddie probably should have worked something other than the arm if Benoit, whose finisher is an arm hold, was going to do this.

Another Crossface is about to be broken so Benoit switches into a dragon sleeper of all things. That’s escaped as well and Van Dam’s hair is down in a very rare sight. Rolling Thunder gets two on Benoit but he’s able to crotch Rob on top. You don’t try a belly to back superplex on a high flier though as Rob crossbodies his way out, setting up the Five Star for the pin and the title at 16:22.

Rating: B. Sometimes you just need to have two talented guys go out there and have a match. The shoulder didn’t quite play into the finish but at least Van Dam’s finisher isn’t done with his arm. I liked this more than I was expecting to and that’s always a positive, especially on a show this stacked.

Bischoff gloats so Stephanie laughs at him. WELL OF COURSE SHE DOES! How dare we suggest that Stephanie not have some kind of ace up her sleeve? That’s why people get tired of Stephanie: she almost NEVER has to give up anything and it gets old in a hurry. I’m sure she’s stolen some other talent and Bischoff will be crushed while Stephanie gets to dance around and talk about how great Smackdown and its fans really are.

Video on the Un-Americans to set up Test vs. Undertaker.

Undertaker vs. Test

JR says Undertaker has a big home field advantage. I get what he’s going for but we’re MUCH closer to Canada and Toronto in general than we are to Houston. But then again, never underestimate how hard an American announcer is going to push his countryman in a feud like this. Undertaker starts with a hiptoss of all things but a knee to the ribs cuts off some driving shoulders.

Test shoves the referee into the ropes to break up Old School and since this isn’t Raw, that’s not a DQ. After a quick trip to the floor, Test very slowly hammers away in the corner and drops a knee on the ribs. It’s off to an armbar of all things until Undertaker fights up and suplexes his way to freedom. AMERICAN freedom that is.

The pumphandle slam doesn’t work so Undertaker plants him with a chokeslam for a delayed two. Cue Storm and Christian for a distraction so Test can get in the big boot for two of his own. Test grabs a chair and shoves the referee down, allowing Undertaker to kick the chair straight back into his face. The Tombstone ends Test at 8:20.

Rating: D. This was fine for a long Raw match but on a show with this much talent around, it’s only going to go so far. Undertaker winning is fine enough as it’s really hard to buy Test beating someone who was in the main event of last month’s pay per view going toe to toe to toe with Rock and Kurt Angle.

Undertaker goes into the crowd and grabs an American flag for some posing.

We get a long and very good recap of HHH vs. Shawn Michaels. They used to be friends and Shawn came back as part of the NWO. After the team was disbanded, Shawn came back again and was made into HHH’s manager. That wasn’t cool with Shawn and his Texas pride so HHH beat him up twice in a row, including putting Shawn through a car window. Shawn is willing to have one more fight (not match, but fight) here tonight.

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Anything goes and unsanctioned with Shawn in jeans. Shawn hammers away to start and spears HHH down for more right hands. They’re quickly on the floor with Shawn ramming him head first into the post. It’s time for some toys, including a trashcan to HHH’s head and a top rope right hand for the same.

Sweet Chin Music misses less than three minutes in and Shawn walks into a spinebuster for the first real shot to his bad back. Like a smart villain, HHH starts in on the back but Shawn says bring it, earning himself a kick to the chest. One heck of a chair shot to the back has Shawn’s face in agony, which is where so much of this match’s strength comes from. Michaels could tell such a story with his face and it really does bring you deeper into the story they’re trying to tell.

Shawn gets in a desperation rollup for two but walks into the facebuster to cut him off again. A DDT on the chair gets two and we’ve got some blood. HHH steals Shawn’s belt for a good old fashioned whipping followed by a few buckle shots to the cut head. With Shawn pulling himself to his feet, it’s sledgehammer time. As is his custom though, Shawn cuts HHH off at the exactly right time, earning himself an abdominal stretch.

HHH goes for the hammer again but Earl Hebner calls him off and yells a lot. A superplex is broken up so HHH blasts him in the back with the chair again. There’s a side slam through an open chair and Shawn looks dead. You can feel the fans getting more and more into this and JR wants the referee to do a fast count. Shawn kicks out and now HHH is getting frustrated because Michaels won’t stay down.

Another side slam onto a closed chair gets the same and HHH covers three times in a row. The Pedigree is broken up by a low blow and you can feel the crowd coming back to life. HHH grabs the chair but a desperation superkick knocks it into HHH’s face to draw blood as well. Shawn hits the forearm into the nipup and the fans actually come to their feet as it’s the old Shawn one more time. A great chair shot to the head drops HHH and Shawn picks up the belt to even things up a bit from earlier.

Shawn bulldogs the very bloody HHH onto the steps to knock him even sillier. Since that’s not enough, let’s bring in a ladder too. Said ladder is thrown inside but HHH baseball slides it into Shawn’s ribs for a breather. HHH goes up top for some reason and it’s a superplex to bring him back down for two. Now the steps are brought in but Shawn drop toeholds HHH into them before knocking him outside again.

With nothing else left, here’s a table too with Shawn splashing HHH off the top through the wood. HHH very slowly rolls back in and Shawn brings the ladder inside again. The big elbow off the ladder crushes HHH and Shawn pops right back up. It’s superkick time but HHH counters into the Pedigree which is countered into a jackknife rollup for the pin at 27:19.

Rating: A+. My goodness what a performance. That’s the only way to put it as Shawn basically started all over again and had this kind of an amazing match. This was some outstanding storytelling with Michaels taking us to the very brink but fighting back until there was an actual way to believe he could pull it off. HHH was at his most dastardly here and that makes for one heck of a match. This is one of the best matches of both of their careers and the circumstances make it even more amazing. Shawn timed that comeback as well as anything I’ve ever seen and I got swept up in the match all over again. Just excellent.

Post match, HHH hits a celebrating Shawn in the back with a sledgehammer to go biggest heel ever. Shawn does a stretcher job, seemingly putting him out of action for a long time. Oh and one more thing: for some reason HHH has tried to claim that this match was forty five minutes long. Even if you count the entrances and the post match stuff, it’s less than thirty six minutes total. That’s a big stretch even in wrestling, which is covering a lot of ground.

Here’s Howard Finkel of all people to talk about how he hasn’t been here since Wrestlemania II but you’ll always have him because of loyalty. Cue Trish Stratus (who has been feuding with a sexist Finkel) but the Fink doesn’t want to hear from someone who thinks she’s hot stuff because of her looks. Trish hits on him and Finkel makes sex jokes until Lillian Garcia (who is having the real issues with him) to slap Howard in the face and kick him low. This was just a way to calm things down after the previous match but it was still stupid.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock. Lesnar won the King of the Ring tournament to earn this show and Rock won the title at Vengeance. Brock has run through the company but this is by far his biggest test to date.

Undisputed Title: Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock

Lesnar is challenging and has Paul Heyman in his corner. The fans are ALL OVER Rock as he charges right into a belly to belly, further banging up his already injured ribs. Some backbreakers have the fans cheering for Rock though and Brock takes him outside for a beating in the crowd.

Back in and another belly to belly sends Rock flying for two. Heyman even gets in a little choking as Rock’s right hands are cut off by a powerslam. Brock charges into the post and three straight clotheslines finally put him down for two. It’s off to a bad Sharpshooter with Rock nowhere near sitting on Brock’s back.

Heyman finally gets on the apron for a distraction but Lesnar saves his agent from a Rock Bottom. The distraction lets a chair go into Rock’s ribs, setting up a bearhug into a waistlock on the mat. This stays on WAY too long but to be fair, Lesnar isn’t really capable of having a long match on his own just yet.

Rock punches his way out but takes one heck of a running shoulder to the ribs in the corner. Lesnar gets punched (you might notice a pattern emerging here) outside again and it’s announcers’ table time. Instead though Brock gets catapulted into the table and Heyman takes a very slow motion Rock Bottom through the table.

Back in and the Rock Bottom only gets two but Lesnar grabs one of his own (JR: “Brock Bottom?”) for another near fall. The spinebuster looks to set up the People’s Elbow but Brock jumps up for a BIG clothesline. Brock can’t hit the F5 but reverses the Rock Bottom into the F5 for the pin and the title at 16:02.

Rating: B. It’s not a classic but the key thing here is that Brock reversed Rock’s finisher into his own for the completely clean pin. Heyman hadn’t been a factor for about five minutes so the pinfall is WAY more important. Lesnar won because he was better here (ignoring the rib injuries but that was hardly cheating). This was a good match but it’s important and well done which is all that matters.

Overall Rating: A. This is one of the best pay per views the company has ever put on and pretty easily the best Summerslam ever. The worst match of the night was Undertaker vs. Test and even that was watchable. Throw in a masterpiece like HHH vs. Michaels and this is an instant classic, which isn’t often the case at Summerslam.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Ratings Comparison

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A-

2017 Redo: A-

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Original: B

2013 Redo: C

2017 Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B-

Un-Americans vs. Booker T/Goldust

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Test

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

The Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A

Still a masterpiece.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/05/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-2002-best-summerslam-ever/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/07/summerslam-count-up-2002-the-performance-of-a-lifetime/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

New E-Book/Paperback: KB’s Complete Monday Night Raw 2002 Reviews

It was the worst of times….and it’s mostly downhill from there. Monday Night Raw has been on the air for the better part of twenty five years and there have been a lot of ups and downs. Most fans can tell you which years are better than others but for the most part, 2002 is almost always at or very close to the bottom of the list. The year has some positive aspects to it but they’re buried so far underneath all the bad/boring things that there’s no coming back from it.

In this book, I’m going back through the entire year and looking at every episode to see just how bad things got. There is so much to cover ranging from the final months of Steve Austin’s time as a WWE regular to the Brand Split to the period where WWE scrambled to replace Austin to the rise of Brock Lesnar to Katie Vick to the Shawn Michaels and Triple H Love Fest. I’ll be breaking down each show match by match and segment by segment, including analysis, ratings and historical content included.

The book is available as either an e-book ($2.99) or a regular paperback ($9.99) and are now available on Amazon. If you’re interested in the e-book but don’t have a Kindle or anything to read it on, there are several free apps from Amazon that you can get for whatever platform you like. You can see those right here.

You can pick up the book from Amazon here:

E-Book:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0742QFYY4

Paperback:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1521887594

From the UK Amazon here:

E-Book:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0742QFYY4

Paperback:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1521887594

Or if you’re in another country with its own Amazon site, just search “KB Raw 2002” and it should be the first thing to pop up.

Also you can still get any of my previous books on the WWE Championship, the Intercontinental Championship, Monday Night Raw from 1997, 1998, 2001 and the first half of 2014, Monday Nitro from 1995-1998, In Your House, Summerslam, Starrcade, ECW Pay Per Views, Royal Rumble, Saturday Night’s Main Event, the WWF and WCW pay per views from 1998, Wrestlemania, WWE Grab Bag and Clash of the Champions at my author’s page here.

I hope you like it and shoot me any questions you might have.

Monday Night Raw – December 30, 2002: Something is Missing

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 30, 2002
Hosts: Terri, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show of the year and that means…..a Best Of show. I’m not entirely sure how many great things there were on Raw in 2002 but thankfully we’re getting a Best Of WWE show, meaning we’ll be seeing Smackdown and pay per view matches as well. That offers a few more possibilities so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, with a mix of Beautiful People and Across the Nation. I’ve heard worse.

Terri and Coach welcome us to the show and run down some of the stuff we’ll be seeing later.

Before we get into this, two quick notes: they’re showing clipped versions here but I’ll be posting the full versions. I’m also going to be skipping the quick introductions from the hosts and the recaps, which don’t really add anything.

From Smackdown, September 26.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

No DQ. Eddie starts hammering away until a monkey flip puts him down. The fans are all over Eddie as he easily breaks up a keylock. An elbow to the head drops Edge and Eddie hits some rather hard right hands. We hit a chinlock for a bit before Edge snaps off a powerslam, only to take too long getting to the top.

That means a huge superplex to give Eddie two and it’s time to head outside. Unfortunately it’s also time for a ladder and that means a ref bump as the ladder goes straight into his face (looked great actually). Back in and Eddie unloads on him with a chair but misses the frog splash to put both guys down.

We come back from a break with a new referee and the second only now being taken to the back. That’s really not a good response time. Edge gets in the half nelson faceplant but takes too much time going up, allowing Eddie to snap off a hurricanrana for a close two. A springboard hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb with Eddie’s head bouncing off the mat in a scary visual.

The ladder is brought in but it’s also knocked into Edge’s face to drop the Canadian again. That means Eddie needs a second ladder so he can sandwich Edge together, setting up the slingshot hilo. Guerrero gets one heck of a cheer from the crowd and it’s really hard to blame him with how hard they’re beating each other up out there.

Eddie goes up the ladder but Edge is there to slug it out…..so Eddie sunset powerbombs him off with one of the biggest bumps you’ll see on regular TV. Edge just got folded up and it looked awesome. That’s good for another respectful round of applause and somehow only two. In almost any other match, that should have been the fall.

Back up again and Edge backdrops him into the ladder in the corner before they climb the second ladder a second time. You know, because it ended so well earlier. This time Edge rams him face first into the top a few times and grabs an Edgecution off the ladder (looked a bit more like a superplex for the sake of clearing the ladder but the landing still looked great) for the pin and one last big reaction from the crowd.

Rating: A. Sometimes you need a great story with all kinds of intricacies and plot details. Sometimes you need a big climax to a major story. Then sometimes you need two incredibly talented wrestlers doing crazy things to each other involving a ladder. This was spectacular with both guys absolutely destroying each other with one more big spot after another. Nothing was topping that sunset powerbomb though and I think everyone knew it. Edge winning the match (and in theory the feud) is the right call and Eddie didn’t lose a thing here. Aside from the match of course. This is on multiple DVDs and it’s easy to see why.

From Raw, July 1.

WWE World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is defending and it’s a ladder match. JR warns us that this could be the biggest trainwreck in history. Before the match, Jeff jumps onto Undertaker’s motorcycle to start the mind games. The champ goes outside and has a ladder dropkicked into him, followed by a chair shot to the head.

That goes nowhere though as Undertaker clotheslines Jeff’s head off, only to have Jeff send him into the ladder up against the apron. Another ladder shot to the head knocks Jeff into the announcers’ table but Undertaker opts to climb back down and do some more beating. They both wind up inside for I believe the first time with the very slow beating continuing. Jeff slugs away for a bit but is punched right back down to kill the crowd again.

Undertaker puts Jeff inside the ladder for the apron legdrop and the destruction continues. A Whisper in the Wind gets Jeff out of trouble and he uses the ladder as a springboard to take Undertaker down again. It’s time for the big ladder and a horrible looking hurricanrana sends Undertaker outside. Jeff gets a hand on the belt but a chair to the back brings him right back down.

Undertaker loads up the Last Ride but Jeff gets in a weak chair shot to the head. Thankfully Undertaker almost pops back up so Jeff BLASTS him with a much better shot. That’s not really sold either as more chair shots slow Jeff down. A chokeslam off the ladder (chokeshove really) allows Undertaker to pull the title down.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches that just hasn’t aged well. I remember losing my mind when Jeff hit Undertaker with the chair on the original viewing but this really doesn’t hold up later on. The last few minutes help this but it was a long squash until the ending. We’ve sat through a few weeks of Undertaker destroying the Hardys and now he does it again in Jeff’s signature match before moving on to the Angle match. Not great but watchable enough.

For some reason they don’t show Undertaker’s post match face turn.

From Summerslam.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Raw Retro: Raw is Owen.

From Wrestlemania XVIII.

The Rock vs. Hollywood Hogan

Make no mistake about it: this is the main event. Hogan is here alone and instantly the biggest face on the roster because Toronto is an old WWF town. Rock is nearly booed out of the building for the second year in a row. They stare each other down and you can feel the energy. The bell rings and we get the big lockup with Hogan shoving him down and posing for a standing ovation. Hogan is only the heel in name only here and everyone knows it.

A shoulder puts Rock down and it’s 1987 all over again as Hogan plays to the crowd. Hogan even calls him a meatball as a callback to Rocky III. Now it’s Rock shoving him down and telling Hulk to just bring it. The Rock Bottom doesn’t work and it’s Hogan punching even more. A clothesline sets up an abdominal stretch on the Rock as they’re keeping it very simple so far with big moves to fit the stadium style.

The fans boo Rock out of the building for some chops in the corner so Hogan comes back with a chokeslam of all things. They head outside with Hogan hitting him in the back with a chair. Back in and we’ve got a ref bump which really isn’t needed here. Rock hooks a Sharpshooter and Hogan makes the ropes, only to tap when Rock drags him back to the middle.

A loud ROCKY SUCKS chant breaks out but Hogan turns it into cheers with a low blow and a Rock Bottom of his own. It’s weightlifting belt time but Rock grabs a DDT, allowing him to do some whipping. The Rock Bottom connects…..and he Hulks Up. Hulk kicks out at two and 68,000 people are suddenly five years old again and Hogan is their hero. It’s as if he apologizes for every bad thing he’s done in just a few seconds and the fans accept him with open arms.

The three punches, the big boot and legdrop (JR: “HE BEAT ANDRE THE GIANT WITH THAT MOVE!”) get two so Hogan loads up another leg but it’s Wrestlemania VI all over again. There’s a second Rock Bottom, followed by a third and Rock nips up. The People’s Elbow puts Hogan away at 16:23.

Rating: B. This is ALL about the crowd as the in ring action was ok at best. The fans carry this to an epic encounter though and the ending was the only option they had. Hogan is the biggest name ever but this isn’t WCW and a guy ten years past his prime doesn’t beat the biggest star in the business at the time. That Hulk Up spot is one for the ages and it was done so perfectly that it’s the part of this show people remember more than anything else. Not a great match but an incredible performance and spectacle.

Post match Hogan gets to his feet and stares Rock down again before weakly extending his hand. Rock shakes it and leaves but here are Hall and Nash to beat Hogan down for reasons that aren’t entirely clear. Rock comes back in for the save and it’s posing a go-go. They knew they had something with Hogan here but they had a short time window. He was World Champion in April and lost it a month later, but the idea worked at the time.

From Summerslam.

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

For some reason they only aired about seven minutes of that one. Everything else has had at least half.

From Backlash.

Kurt Angle vs. Edge

I love those big pieces of metal that swing back and forth to go with the Backlash name. You don’t see that kind of stuff enough anymore. Angle makes the mistake of charging at Edge to start and runs into some right hands. A flapjack sends Kurt outside and he’s rather upset by these circumstances.

Back in and a wicked German suplex sends Edge flying and an overhead belly to belly gets two. It’s already off to the chinlock and things slow down a bit. Edge fights back again and gets in a belly to belly of his own to buy a breather. The yet to be named Edgecution gets two on Angle but Edge takes too long on top, allowing Angle to run the corner for the superplex. That always looks great.

Some rolling Germans give Angle more near falls but Edge gets in something like a release German suplex of his own. A backdrop puts Angle on the floor again (Why is that floor so shiny?) and Edge dives down onto him for a lighter pop than I was expecting. Back in and an Angle Slam sets up a quick ankle lock but Edge rolls through for a near fall. Angle brings in a chair (Why does the referee never even try to stop that?) but walks into an Edge-o-Matic. The spear is blocked by a knee to the face and the Angle Slam gives Kurt the clean pin.

Rating: B. I know he’s run a lot of his legacy into the ground but dang Angle was good back in the day. It’s crazy to think that he had only been in the WWF about two and a half years at this point because he’s been great for so long. Edge is getting a heck of a rub out of this feud and it’s doing a lot to make him into a bigger deal. That’s such an important key to his career: they didn’t go nuts and hot shot Edge because they knew he was going to be something special. Let him season in this role and then move him up when he’s ready.

We see about five minutes of Rock vs. Lesnar.

From Raw, October 7.

Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Jeff Hardy vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Kane/Hurricane

TLC with Kane defending on his own as Hurricane is still down in the back. It’s a huge brawl to start with Jericho throwing in an early ladder as people pair off. Christian and Jericho are easily shoved off said ladder though and everyone else heads outside. Jeff dives off the barricade to take Kane down and it’s Christian and Jericho putting the ladder on the turnbuckle.

Spike goes into the ladder but heel miscommunication puts Christian down. Kane comes back in with the top rope clothesline and chokeslams Bubba for good measure. There’s a ladder up in the ring as Kane throws Spike over the top and onto Van Dam. The Canadians knock Kane to the floor and put him on a table so Jeff can hit a legdrop off a ladder. Christian gets powerbombed off the ladder and we take a break.

Back with Bubba and Jericho slugging it out on top of the ladder as it’s clear that Kane is the only one tall enough to reach the belts at that height. Jericho bulldogs Bubba off the ladder and Christian gives Van Dam a reverse DDT off another one. This match is still all over the place and doesn’t feel like there’s any teamwork or anything other than a bunch of people doing a bunch of spots.

With everyone down, the fans want tables. Christian goes up but gets crotched on the top by Kane, followed by a powerslam to Jeff. Bubba plays Matt for some Poetry in Motion to Kane and there’s the Van Terminator to knock him even sillier. Jeff goes up so Bubba superplexes him right back down and everyone is done. In an interesting note, we see a replay of the superplex and the original commentary is still there. You don’t hear that too often.

Now it’s Jericho going up with Spike shoving the ladder over, sending Jericho out to the floor in a scary looking crash. Christian throws Spike through a table as this just keeps going. The Five Star hits Christian and Jeff misses a Swanton before being backdropped through a table. Kane comes back in and chokeslams Jericho off a ladder before pulling down the titles for the win.

Rating: B-. This was entertaining but WAY too long at over twenty five minutes, the fourth longest of all time and the longest team version ever. Above that though, there was no flow or psychology to the match. With the more famous one, you could tell that the matches were laid out with far more precision, which made for a better match. This one was all over the place with everyone hitting random spots and popping back up for the next one. It’s entertaining but nothing I’ll remember watching in a day or two.

Coach and Terri wrap it up.

Overall Rating: A-. I never know how to rate these things but they had some great stuff and covered almost everything that mattered, save for the Smackdown Tag Team Titles. Now even ONE MATCH? There was a lot of Summerslam here, which really is best for everyone. It’s a nice way to wrap up 2002, but the fact that they’re moving towards HHH vs. Scott Steiner doesn’t help things.

Overall 2002 was all over the place. The first few months feel like the show is running on fumes, then the Brand Split breathed some life into it for a few weeks, then the shows were horrible over the first half of the summer, then Summerslam was one of the best shows ever, then Raw was horrible and Smackdown was great. The company seems to be searching for a way forward and I really don’t think they’ve found it yet.

As we head into 2003, things are as different as ever. Over on Raw you have the HHH show where he tries to prove that he can carry everything on his back. That’s not exactly thrilling TV but I have a feeling it’s what we’re going to be seeing it for a very long time. If there’s one thing you can count on from HHH, it’s him hammering things into your head until you agree with him.

On the blue side, things are starting to come into focus. It’s clear that they’re building towards Angle vs. Lesnar, which should be one heck of a match. In addition to that you have Los Guerreros, Edge and Benoit getting better every week. As always, Smackdown is the wrestling show and that makes for some very entertaining TV.

The upcoming year shows no signs of changing the pattern of the shows as the same trends could go on for months. Raw will continue to be the storyline heavy show while Smackdown is much more about the in-ring product. If they could find a way to combine those things into one, you could have one heck of a wrestling program. Instead though, we’re likely stuck with one good show and one horrid one. Such is life in WWE, even to this day.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown – December 26, 2002: He’s Got Guys

Smackdown
Date: December 26, 2002
Location: Tulsa Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show of the year as we’re getting ready to start the build towards the Royal Rumble. We also have Brock Lesnar vs. Paul Heyman/Big Show/Kurt Angle in a feud that is likely to lead to a major feud down the line, though Lesnar is likely going to need some help along the way. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s Angle heel turn and the announcement of Angle vs. Big Show for the title this week.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Stephanie, who seems to be a face again, to open the show. She’s not going to lie to us and say the World Title match is going to happen because it’s been canceled. Last week, after Smackdown went off the air, Brock did something to Angle and now Kurt is out of action for a good while, potentially all the way until the Rumble. She won’t tell us what happened but she’ll show us later tonight. Since there’s no reason given for the delay, here’s Big Show to interrupt.

He’s not happy with the idea of waiting until Royal Rumble but he’s even more annoyed at the fact that Stephanie didn’t name him #1 contender. She was just about to make that match though, RIGHT? Show tries to intimidate her and for once, Stephanie actually sounds scared as she threatens to suspend him. He’ll have a chance to be #1 contender when he faces Chris Benoit in the main event. That’s not cool with Show either but here’s Benoit to interrupt. Benoit says he’ll break Show’s neck later tonight but Show plays the size card. That just earns him a low blow and Benoit leaves with a smile on his face.

Crash vs. Bill DeMott

DeMott is now all mean and angry, which the announcers tell you as often as they can. He works on Crash’s arm before the match and sends it into the post but of course the referee starts the match anyway. DeMott slaps on an armbar as Tazz praises his psychology. A powerbomb and the moonsault finish Crash in a hurry.

Al Wilson and Dawn Marie exchange gifts: a bottle of Viagra and a camera. Both are for the honeymoon. Again: why is this such a bad thing for Al? Can I get some clarification on that?

Here are Matt Hardy, who was MVP in the 1999 No Mercy ladder match and always sticks to his New Year’s resolution, and a badly damaged Shannon Moore with something to say. They want to talk about something destroying WWE: Brock Lesnar. After that belly to belly injured Moore last week, Shannon didn’t stop but someone must stop Lesnar. Next week, Hardy wants Brock one on one and has a special plan for him. Matt beats Shannon down, though it feels like a lesson instead of a turn.

Heyman and Angle arrive with the latter on crutches and with a big cast around his leg.

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Edge/Billy Kidman

Edge and Kidman, who seems to get a shot at these titles every other week, are challenging. Kidman hiptosses both champs to start before snapping off a headscissors on Chavo. The champs take over with some chicanery and it’s Kidman in early trouble. Eddie’s slingshot hilo connects but so does an enziguri, allowing the tag to Edge. A double missile dropkick puts both champs down and a flapjack to Chavo makes things even worse.

As usual though, Eddie is smart enough to go after the bad knee but Kidman breaks up the Lasso From El Paso. A quick spear gets two on Eddie and the champs tease leaving, only to have the referee say a countout will give us new champions. Back from a break with Edge missing a charge into the corner to put the champs back in control. Chavo’s chinlock works as well as any other chinlock (aside from Kevin Owens’ of course) and the Edge-O-Matic gets Edge out of trouble.

A double flapjack really gets him out of trouble and it’s off to Kidman, who is suplexed down almost immediately. Eddie misses the Frog Splash and Kidman drops the shooting star on Chavo, only to have Eddie pull the referee out for the DQ. And again never mind as the referee is restarting this as a No DQ match.

Chavo is in trouble to start the second fall but Eddie breaks up another shooting star attempt. Edge hits Chavo with the belt (which Chavo brought in) for two and heads to the apron for a tag for some reason. Cue A-Train with the backbreaker on Edge though, allowing Eddie to Frog Splash Kidman to retain.

Rating: B. Gah they were rolling here until the A-Train interference. Edge vs. A-Train isn’t interesting but these four going on for nearly twenty minutes certainly was with Los Guerreros’ cheating not working for a change. I was digging this match as Kidman continues to show that cruiserweights are more than capable of hanging with the big guys, making the division kind of a waste of time.

Here’s the footage from after last week’s Smackdown. Angle talks trash and beat on Brock bit more until Lesnar fought back and beat up Kurt and Big Show. Kurt took a chair to the head and back to back F5’s on the floor with his knee hitting the post both times. Trainers came out but Lesnar dropped Angle’s knee onto the barricade just to be sure. This would be a way to write Angle off for knee surgery, which makes you wonder why they put the title on him in the first place. Then again, an injured Angle is probably worth more than Big Show at this point.

Back from a break with Heyman in the ring to blame Stephanie for Kurt’s injuries. This brings out Angle on crutches to compare his rookie year to Lesnar. They both won the World Title in their first year but Angle did it without Heyman helping him out. Kurt: “AND I’M AN OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST! WHO SUCKS NOW???” Fans: “YOU SUCK!” Angle has an agent because he’s a very important person. More importantly though, he’s the kind of man that Lesnar could never be. He’ll defend the title at the Royal Rumble and then he’ll take Lesnar down like the punk that he is.

Heyman agrees, but he has a surprise for Kurt: Team Angle. That would be Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin, a pair of All-American wrestlers, with Shelton being Brock’s former roommate at the University of Minnesota. Angle tells Lesnar that’s checkmate. This is a great idea and something that could do a lot of good. If Team Angle is kept strong, they could be a great addition to the tag division, which suddenly needs a burst of energy. The segment was long but it did its job, which is far more important.

B-2 vs. Rikishi

Cena’s rap says that B-2 is the physical version of R2-D2. Rikishi sends B-2 into the steps before the bell as Cena sits in on commentary. That lasts all of ten seconds until he gets up to break up the Stinkface. Back in and Buchanan (mostly) hits his top rope spinning clothesline. Cena tries to bring in a chair but uses the distraction to throw B-2 the chain. That just earns B-2 a superkick and the Rump Shaker for the pin.

Torrie Wilson isn’t sure she’ll be here for the wedding. Her dad comes up to yell at her for being selfish and says he’s getting married next week no matter what. After the wedding, he and Dawn are going to have a child and he hopes it won’t be a disappointment like her.

Los Guerreros celebrate their win when they run into Cena and B-2. Eddie and Chavo speak Spanish but Cena goes into a rap. Eddie mocks Cena’s voice and says they still have the title. This was completely bizarre and yet still rather funny.

Benoit says he’ll win and then go on to win the World Title that has always eluded him.

Angle fires Big Show up.

Chris Benoit vs. Big Show

The winner gets Angle at the Rumble. Show doesn’t waste time by throwing Benoit into the corner, followed by a big boot to make things even worse. Benoit chops away and tries the Crossface but gets tossed away with ease. More power offense sends Benoit flying into the corner before Show pulls off a turnbuckle pad. Benoit goes for the knee for a breather, followed by muscling Show up for a German suplex. The Swan Dive (a splash this time as Show is too close to the corner) gets two but the chokeslam is countered into a rollup (with feet on the ropes, though it might not have been intentional) for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was as good as Big Show throwing Benoit around for a few minutes before getting caught at the end was going to be. Benoit as the #1 contender is a great thing and the story of him never winning the title is a strong story. The match wasn’t bad and they made sure to keep it short to make sure Big Show didn’t mess anything up.

Show tries a chokeslam but gets countered into the Crossface (I always love that counter). Cue Team Angle for the superkick into a German suplex and the debut of the Haas of Pain (kind of a Liontamer/Indian deathlock combo). Show adds a chokeslam as the fans don’t get their requested Brock. Angle comes out to talk trash and chokes Benoit with a crutch to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They were very heavy on the storylines this week with several long explanations about what’s going on in the main event. However, we also got a long title match, a World Title match set up for a month away and the debut of a new team. They covered a lot of stuff tonight and that’s the best thing you could have after the mess that Raw has become.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – December 23, 2002: With Bonus Footage and a House Band

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 23, 2002
Location: Ford Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last regular show of the year as next week is a Best Of special. Thankfully that means one less week of Scott Steiner vs. HHH, who last week reached new levels of suck with a long talking segment. Steiner is all flash at this point and I’m really not sure HHH is the one to drag him to the next level. Let’s get to it.

Minor note: this was actually taped a few days earlier due to the holidays.

We open with a long recap of the end of last week’s show. You know the fifteen minute talking segment? Well here it’s cut down to about two and it’s still boring.

Opening sequence.

It’s the Christmas/holiday show so we have a Santa’s Little Helper match. That means the women, though I was hoping for Max Mini vs. Battalion.

Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. 3 Minute Warning

Rosey and Jamal take turns with the pounding forearms to Kane’s back but he sits up, as is his custom. A good looking big boot to the face allows the hot tag to Rob, who is brought in with a rocket launcher crossbody for two on Jamal. Rob gets sent outside so Rico can get in some kicks, allowing the Samoans to take over again. Not that it matters though as Van Dam kicks them away and brings Kane back in to clean house. A clothesline puts Rosey on the floor and it’s the chokeslam into the Five Star to put Jamal away.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here to make sure you know that the Samoans are done because WWE cares more about whatever their issue was behind the scenes than building up what had potential to be a decent tag division. At least Van Dam and Kane were entertaining and have some potential as a good team.

Post match Rico yells at and slaps both guys. Jamal and Rosey almost get in an argument, which is what Rico was wanting to see.

The bosses are worried about Steiner and HHH getting into it tonight when Spike Dudley comes in to yell about William Regal knocking D-Von out last week. Eric Bischoff makes Spike vs. Batista with the Dudleys banned from ringside.

We see Jim Ross’ entrance, complete with the Oklahoma University marching band playing his theme song.

Earlier today, D’Lo Brown, now in what appears to be a gangsta rapper gimmick, tried to get Stacy Keibler as a marketing assistant. Stacy: “I kind of have my hands full with the Testicles right now.”

Test vs. D’Lo Brown

Fallout from Wrestlemania XV. Test loses a chase to start and gets his throat snapped across the top rope. A whip into the steps makes things worse and Brown start sin on the ribs. We hit an abdominal stretch with Brown hopping over to the ropes for some extra leverage. Test hiptosses him out and grabs the pumphandle slam, only to have Brown get in another shot to the back. The camel clutch doesn’t get him very far and the missed backsplash makes things even worse.

A full nelson slam (which JR calls a full nelson into a chokeslam) gives Test two and the pumphandle slam gets the same with Brown grabbing the rope. Brown goes after Stacy and sends Test into the post off the distraction. He puts his feet on the ropes when he covers though and the referee won’t count. Brown: “IF I WAS WHITE YOU’D COUNT!” Racism is too much for D’Lo and he shoves the referee for the DQ.

Rating: C. Not bad here actually, despite the stupid costume and angle for Brown. Test isn’t exactly over and it’s really Stacy making the sex jokes that are as over as anything else. At least they’re trying something with both guys though, which is at least something of an upgrade for them both. I didn’t say it was a good upgrade but it’s still something.

Brown bails into the crowd.

This week’s Raw Retro is JR kissing Vince’s….yeah.

We see a Jerry Lawler book signing in Memphis.

Here are the bosses to explain the idea of the Royal Rumble being split between the brands. For some reason this is the greatest thing JR and King have ever heard, which doesn’t sit well with Bischoff. We see an off camera moment of JR and King talking about the Raw Retro, where they ripped on Bischoff for ruining the show. Bischoff suggests that he’ll replace them with Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura. Crowd: *SILENCE*. Anyway, Bischoff is giving them a match tonight. Or they can just be fired.

Hurricane vs. Christopher Nowinski

Nowinski jumps him at the bell and gets two off a butterfly slam. Hurricane comes right back with a neckbreaker, only to get chopblocked down. Cue Maven for a distraction though, allowing Hurricane to hit the Shining Wizard for the pin. Hurricane has no direction at all right now and the Tough Enough feud is just continuing.

Worry not: HHH isn’t worried about Steiner and would slap Scott in the head right now if he could. I certainly was worried until we heard that.

Batista vs. Spike Dudley

Spike tries a chase to start but is quickly caught and powerbombed onto the barricade. A clothesline and the Batista Bomb wrap this up in a hurry.

Bischoff and Morely are happy so Morely suggests they fight JR and King later. William Regal and Lance Storm come in and offer their services instead, which Bischoff accepts. The usage of brass knuckles is encouraged.

A camera spies on the women getting ready for the tag match later.

Victoria/Molly Holly/Ivory vs. Jacqueline/Trish Stratus/Stacy Keibler

They’re all in your standard Christmas outfits, save for Molly of course. It’s a brawl to start until Stacy and Molly (who of course is insulted despite looking perfectly fine in a long, sleeveless red dress) with Keibler bending over to show off her red underwear, thereby stopping Molly cold. If that’s not enough, Stacy’s spinwheel kick literally misses Molly the whole way by about four inches but gets two anyway.

Victoria comes in with a suplex as JR wonders if she’s a real woman. Stacy gets beaten down for a bit until the tag brings in Jackie, who quickly takes her place in getting beaten up. The real hot tag brings in Trish to clean house and of course Molly’s dress is pulled up for the “comedy” bit. Jackie grabs a tornado DDT and Trish hits Stratusfaction for the double pin.

Rating: D. I don’t like having to go with this but it could have been FAR worse. They were trying to have a match in there but when most of the match is built around seeing the outfits come up, you can only get so far. Speaking of which, Lawler was his usual self in one of these things, which is kind of odd given when he has to do in about an hour.

Goldust runs into Chris Jericho, who says Goldust is a failure in all walks of life, including his career because it was Booker who won the titles.

Scott Steiner is going to see HHH in the ring later.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Booker T./Goldust

Booker and Goldust are defending. Before the match we see Shawn Michaels superkicking Jericho last week. Normally that would suggest the result of this match was obvious but I could see Jericho vs. Michaels with Jericho as a tag champ. Goldust and Christian start things off with the Canadian eating a clothesline. The announcers have come to a strategy in the tag match: Lawler will do everything.

Booker comes in for a suplex to Jericho and Goldust catapults him over the top onto Christian. The offense doesn’t last long though as Jericho dropkicks Goldust in the back and the champs are in some sudden trouble. It’s not long lasting trouble though as Goldust grabs a bad looking neckbreaker to put Christian down, allowing the hot tag off to Booker.

A double side kick drops the Canadians and that means it’s the Christmas Spinarooni. Another kick gets three on Christian but the foot was on the rope as we go to a break. Back with Booker kicking Jericho down again but this time the referee misses the hot tag to Goldust. Even the announcers get on him for this one as Booker stays in trouble. Christian snapmares him into a chinlock as the announcers talk about mothers.

The hold stays on for a good while until Booker fights up and grabs a flapjack. That’s enough for the hot tag to Goldust, who hits a quick Shattered Dreams on Christian. Jericho is sent head first to the same spot and a powerslam gives Goldust two (and one heck of a pop on the near fall). The Walls have Goldust in trouble until Booker makes a save of his own. The Lionsault hits Goldust’s raised knees and Goldust grabs a rollup (with tights) to retain.

Rating: B. It had time and the hot finish makes Goldust look like an equal link to Booker for a change. The Canadians are still a good team and these four could have more good matches if given the chance. At the moment it’s not like the division has a lot of depth in the first place so give them a shot.

Kane is about to leave so Van Dam gives him some merry Christmas wishes. Rob talks about having great Christmases as a child, but Kane spent his Christmases locked in the basement torturing rats with razor blades. Dang now I feel sorry for Rob. Anyway Van Dam gives him his Christmas present: Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Rob goes into an explanation of how the marbles represent obstacles that block your chi. I’m not the most familiar with the concept, but it seems that Rob believes you’re supposed to eat your obstacles. So if you have trouble at work, cook your boss over a fire? Or am I supposed to have him………raw? Kane hates it and Rob knew he should have gone with chutes and ladders.

And now for something I’m actually confused by. On the Network version, D’Lo Brown comes out and says he wants a rematch with Test with Stacy on the line. This isn’t listed anywhere on any report I’ve ever seen, including those written back in 2002 or in any results database I can find. JR seems legitimately confused to start, then says “ok” like he’s talking to someone on headset, and then starts in on regular commentary. Normally I’d assume this was just a dark match during the break for the crowd (remember that it’s taped) but then why do commentary? There’s also no ring bell so it’s not even an official match.

Test vs. D’Lo Brown

Brown wins an early fist fight on the floor and stomps away in the corner. A release spinebuster gets two and it’s off to a reverse chinlock. Brown gets two off a belly to back suplex but misses a moonsault. Test makes his comeback and hits the pumphandle slam for two with Brown grabbing the rope. That’s enough for Brown to go outside to chase Stacy, only to run right into the big boot for the pin.

Rating: D. I’m really confused by this and it’s all due to the commentary. Well that and the fact that they actually had Test and Brown of all people come out and wrestle again. Brown specifically mentioned the previous match but the commentary never brought it up once. This must have been a re-shoot of some sort, but you would think they would have gone with this match in the regular show despite it not making the broadcast. The match was similar to the first but with the focus on Stacy instead of the racism angle.

And now for something else not mentioned anywhere, we go to a local mall with Sean O’Haire as Santa Claus telling children they’re greedy. He tells them there’s no Santa either and yells at a bad actress who complains. The truth hurts you see. This makes a bit more sense as the Devil’s Advocate character would debut in January.

JR goes off to get ready and Lawler says he’ll stay in the ring the whole time.

You know how HHH and Steiner are going to face each other tonight? That’s still taking place.

Here’s HHH to call Steiner out after they’ve spent the better part of two hours talking about it. HHH talks down to the fans and explains how awesome he is. He would have fought Steiner last week but he was coming off a grueling match with Shawn Michaels, who of course is the best in-ring performer ever you see. We get the call out and HHH looks a bit stunned when Steiner actually shows up.

Lawler fawns over Steiner’s physique and we get the quick nose-to-nose (which really shows off how huge HHH’s nose is). HHH talks about how they’re going to make a fortune at the Rumble and he’s not giving up a single dollar of that in the first place. However, after some more bickering about how awesome they both are, we get a challenge for some arm wrestling. HHH almost wins but Steiner smiles at him and wins four times in a row. How many weeks until we get this match over with?

Jerry Lawler/Jim Ross vs. Lance Storm/William Regal

Bischoff and Morely take over on commentary and JR gets played to the ring by the OU band. Note that they don’t have to win to keep their jobs but rather just compete. Lawler and Regal start things off with Bischoff going into over the top commentary territory. They trade wristlocks before it’s quickly off to Storm. Lance misses an elbow and takes the famed Lawler “dropkick”. JR even gets in a neck snap across the top rope but the heels take over as you might have expected.

The villains take turns with chinlocks but we get some bad old fashioned heel miscommunication to give Lawler a chance. The fist drop gets two and there’s the ref bump. Regal pulls out the knuckles but gets snapmared down so Lawler can hammer away. A low blow from Regal makes JR tag himself in so he can grab the knuckles. The double beatdown is on but here are the Dudleys for 3D on Storm, allowing Ross to knock Regal cold for the pin.

Rating: F. So they built up Regal and Storm as undefeated on Raw for the better part of two months and give the win to JR and King? Eh to be fair I really can’t get that mad about this one as the winning streak stopped meaning a thing after the four way loss at Armageddon so it’s not like this really means anything. The “wrestling” here was nothing of course but JR getting a moment in his hometown was nice for what is likely a once in a lifetime change of pace. Plus this was less than six minutes from bell to bell and you knew there was going to be something screwy to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: D. Far from the worst show they’ve done in a long time though that doesn’t exactly make it good. Yeah there’s a lot of bad stuff but they kept it in short bursts so I really didn’t have the time to get too mad about things. They really need to get to the Rumble build soon as it can add an instant story for almost anyone on the show, which would help a lot since we can’t have a midcard champion for whatever reason. Anyway, not horrible here but it needs a lot of work.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown – December 19, 2002: They’re Better Than This

Smackdown
Date: December 19, 2002
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past the last pay per view of the year and that means we only have two Smackdowns left. The big story on the Smackdown side is Kurt Angle becoming the new Smackdown World Champion, having defeated Big Show in a match that was way better than it had any right to be. That puts us on the road to the Royal Rumble, where Chris Benoit might be the new #1 contender. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s tag match with Big Show pinning Angle and then Angle winning the title thanks to Brock Lesnar’s help. This eats up over three minutes.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Angle, with a belt that still says Big Show, to open things up. He lists off his accomplishments but this title win was different. Angle isn’t sure if he could have won the title without Lesnar so he’d like Brock out here now. Cue Brock to one heck of a reaction. Angle agrees to give him a shot at the title anytime, any place. That’s what Brock wanted to hear because he wants his shot tonight. Actually that doesn’t work for Kurt though because he has a non-title match with Chris Benoit. Lesnar will get his title shot next week though, which Lesnar begrudgingly accepts.

Big Show is livid about Lesnar getting the first shot and rants to Paul Heyman about it. Don’t worry though because Heyman has a fan. Again, this takes way too long to accomplish something very simple.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman

Non-title. Eddie goes right for him and grabs a belly to back suplex to take over. A very fast tilt-a-whirl backbreaker looks to set up the frog splash but Kidman bails away and hits an enziguri. The BK Bomb gets two and the shooting star connects, only to have Chavo pull Kidman away. That’s not a DQ for no apparent reason though and Eddie grabs a Gory Bomb for the pin.

Matt Hardy walks into Stephanie’s office to explain the concept of MF’ers (Mattitude Followers). She’s worried that he won’t be able to face Lesnar tonight but Matt is ready to go.

John Cena vs. Chuck Palumbo

Cena’s rap calls the Buccaneers a rather surprising slur which rhymes with beers. The announcers start talking about the Torrie/Dawn Marie footage as “Bling Bling Buchanan” gets in a few shots on the floor. Cena grabs a seated full nelson (it’s better than the same old chinlock over and over) but Palumbo fights up for the comeback. A belly to belly sets up the discus punch and Chuck heads to the top, only to have Cena roll through a high crossbody and grab the trunks for the pin.

Chuck punches Cena out but gets hit by Buchanan’s change. Cue Rikishi for the save because THIS STORY IS STILL GOING!

We get a long, LONG recap of the build to Torrie/Dawn in the hotel room (same as the one from Sunday I believe) and then see about ten seconds, all of which we saw at the pay per view.

We get a sitdown interview with Torrie at her mom’s house in Idaho where she says she’s more proud than anything else. She’s willing to do anything for her father but he’s the one person she’s embarrassed her. As for being a sexual predator, she’s certainly a sexual person, but Dawn is going to find out what kind of a predator she can be. Cue Dawn and Al as Cole suggests that Al has no idea what’s going on. You mean getting to be with a woman WAY out of his league who doesn’t seem to mind being with him in exchange for tormenting his daughter? I still don’t quite get how Al is hurt in all this.

Anyway Dawn calls Torrie a nymphomaniac and says her relationship with Al is sacred. They never run out of things to say and enjoy their late night encounters. She’s never seen a more handsome and virile man than her “Al-sy Wal-sy.” The wedding will be here on Smackdown in two weeks. Torrie storms off because they deserve each other.

Raw Retro: Rock challenges Hogan. That’s one heck of a moment.

Brock Lesnar vs. Matt Hardy

This is over Brock throwing Matt, who has wrestled in 44 states, through a wall. However, Matt comes out holding his good eye and has Shannon Moore tagging along. We’ve got a substitution due to Matt getting something in his good eye, rendering him temporarily blind.

Brock Lesnar vs. Shannon Moore

Brock wastes no time in belly to bellying Shannon OVER THE TOP AND DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR in one of the sickest landings you’ll ever see. Moore somehow doesn’t have a broken leg as he takes the F5 for the pin in less than a minute. Great bump to go with the complete destruction.

Blind Matt gets beaten down as well.

Stephanie tells Angle to clear this up or she’ll do it herself.

Here’s Angle to explain whatever it is that Stephanie was talking about. Angle talks about having integrity and if it were up to him, he’d face Angle and Benoit in the same night. He has a lot on his plate though and he needs good representation. That’s why he’s now represented by……Paul Heyman.

Paul comes out for a hug and says no one should be surprised by this. There was no way Lesnar was ever getting close to the title again and Heyman made sure of it. The plan started when Angle suggested he could get Lesnar’s suspension lifted and Heyman convinced Stephanie to let Brock come back. Angle played Lesnar like a violin (How?) and now the Angle vs. Lesnar match is postponed indefinitely.

Cue a livid Big Show to yell at Heyman and glare at Angle. Heyman says Show isn’t dumped because Show is still his favorite client. To make it up to him, Show can have a shot next week. Kurt isn’t happy but Heyman says it’s cool as long as either of them is champion. Just keep it away from Lesnar you see.

Ok……I need a minute on this one. So Heyman worked together with Show to get the title off of Lesnar and then signed Angle as an insurance policy to give him more leverage to keep the title away from Brock? Ok, fine. And Angle had to get Lesnar’s suspension lifted because Angle couldn’t beat Show on his own? If that’s not it, I have no idea why Lesnar had to be reinstated. Why would Heyman want him back in the first place?

I’m not really sure I get the idea. I guess Heyman thought Angle could beat Big Show so he bought Kurt off before he could, but Angle could only do it with Lesnar’s help? Show can beat an injured Lesnar with Heyman’s help but it takes Angle/Lesnar to beat Big Show? I’m probably missing something in there because this is already far beyond how complicated it needs to be. Just have Show vs. Lesnar go to a double DQ at Survivor Series and then do a triple threat so Angle can take the title from Show and announce Heyman’s plan after. Either way, it sets up an eventual Angle vs. Lesnar match and that’s just glorious sounding.

Bill DeMott/Crash vs. Jamie Noble/Nunzio

DeMott is teaming with Crash because he respects Hardcore Holly. Bill beats on Nunzio and then pulls Jamie in to beat on him as well. A release German suplex sends Noble flying and DeMott makes him tag Nunzio back in. Noble is thrown into Nunzio in the corner and a powerbomb sets up the moonsault to put Jamie away. Crash was never in. So Nunzio debuts one week and gets squashed the next by BILL DEMOTT. I’m so glad to know this show has a plan for everyone.

DeMott beats Crash down as well.

Edge is ready to beat up A-Train again tonight.

Edge vs. A-Train

A-Train charges straight at him to start but Edge slips out of a gorilla press. It’s already time to go after the knee though as A-Train lays on it and then grabs a half crab. Back up and Edge hits an enziguri followed by a missile dropkick due to the bad knee. The bicycle kick gives A-Train two and it’s right back to the half crab. The chokebomb is broken up and Edge spears him for the pin.

Rating: D. This was as good as A-Train doing half crabs for five minutes was going to be. I still don’t get the idea behind pushing him like this but it seems to be time for the big guys to get their pushes. Edge sold the leg well enough but there’s only so much he can do in a story like this.

Josh Matthews recaps Angle vs. Lesnar and it still doesn’t make a lot of sense. Lesnar comes in and says his state of mind is a good question.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title. Benoit takes him to the mat for an early hammerlock and a very fast armdrag. They head outside with Benoit chasing him back inside for the first suplex. Angle gets in his own overhead belly to belly as the announcers marvel at Heyman’s brainwashing abilities. Heyman even gets in a belt shot to Benoit for two and it’s time to trade some chops. A chinlock keeps Benoit down for a bit and a release German suplex drops him again.

Angle is right backup but a double clothesline puts both guys down. It’s Benoit up first with the seven rolling German suplexes, causing Heyman to put his head in his hand, as if he knows there’s nothing that can be done at this point. The Swan Dive sets up the Crossface but Big Show lumbers down for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Good match as usual but you could see the ending coming from a mile away. They’ve done this match too often lately though and it’s starting to get tiresome. It’s still entertaining but there are other options out there. Put Angle in there with Edge (because Heaven forbid we don’t get the A-Train match in there) or anyone else to save Benoit for later.

Lesnar runs in for some suplexes but gets beaten down as well to end the show. My only other thought here: Heyman reminds me of Louie De Palma in far too many ways.

Overall Rating: D. Really big step down here as this whole thing was about two stories with a few other matches filling in the rest of the time. The Heyman stuff is more complicated than it needs to be and the Dawn/Torrie stuff is clearly going nowhere. If you’re over fourteen years old here, you know you’re never going to see more than you saw at the pay per view and after that you have whatever disaster the wedding and ensuing match are going to be. This really wasn’t a good show and Smackdown should be better than what they did here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw – December 16, 2002: It’s A Bad Sign When They Don’t Fight

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 16, 2002
Location: TD Waterhouse Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re past the final pay per view of the year and that means it’s time to get ready for the 2003 Royal Rumble. That also means that the new Raw World Champion HHH needs a new challenger, which means we’re in for a major problem in the next month or two. Words don’t do the upcoming nightmares justice so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Trish Stratus/Test vs. Victoria/Steven Richards

I don’t see the Canadian connection lasting all that long as WWE isn’t likely to have two women working together without fighting for more than a show or two. Also, those Testicle jokes really were supposed to make Test a face? Trish kicks Victoria in the head before the bell (that evil Canadian) but gets suplexed by Richards to change control.

Victoria grabs something like a high angle Texas Cloverleaf but drops the legs back like a DDT to wrench Trish’s back. Stratus gets two off a rollup as Lawler talks about how her puppies don’t have eyes. The hot tag brings in Test to clean house but Richards saves Victoria from the pump handle slam. Richards gets two off a Downward Spiral but Stacy offers a distraction, allowing Test to boot him in the face for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not terrible but I’m really trying to get my head around Test being a face. I mean, it’s better than hearing the Testicle jokes over and over again so I can’t complain too much. We’ll consider this an example of a meaningless match that was fine, albeit nothing that needed to exist.

Eric Bischoff and Chief Morely meet in the back with Bischoff announcing a HHH appreciation night to close the show. Morely has already given Scott Steiner the spot for his official contract signing. Yes, this is really where we’re going. Bischoff isn’t happy and Morely is in charge of fixing things.

Booker is getting some water when Goldie Claus comes in to offer a peek at his sack. It’s a good thing though as Goldust pulls out the Tag Team Titles. Goldust gets serious and thanks Booker for believing in him. Christian and Chris Jericho come up to say their rematch is next week. Goldust gives Christian “new and improved” A** Cream. Goldust: “Now with 35% more a**!”

Christopher Nowinski vs. Maven

The fans are WAY into the Harvard Sucks chant. Chris grabs a rollup for two and chokes in the corner a lot before hitting a seated abdominal stretch. A backbreaker sets up a chinlock as the announcers start arguing about colleges. Maven gets in a dropkick and flapjacks him down for an Oklahoma roll and two. A spinning butterfly slam (the Honor Roll) gives Chris two but Maven blocks a charge. Maven’s middle rope sunset flip is countered into a rollup though and Nowinski grabs the trunks for the pin.

Rating: C. Totally watchable match here but the low level of interest didn’t do it any favors. The problem is these two need to move on from “they were both on Tough Enough” and find stories with someone else. Maybe down in developmental for a few years or so. Still though, pretty easily their best match ever.

Here’s a dancing Shawn Michaels because legends don’t have to sell brutal matches. Last week Ric Flair told him he didn’t have it anymore and needed to tell himself the truth. The truth is the Heartbreak Kid is alive and well. He might not be the World Champion anymore but he definitely stole the show. Shawn went down last night but he went down in a blaze of glory. He feels pretty good tonight and thinks we should make it three out of five. Instead it’s Jericho answering though and we have a new feud.

Jericho thinks we should listen to him because he’s just that much better than Shawn. Chris: “Behold the true sexy boy!” If it was the real Shawn back last night, he would have silenced the critics and, you know, won. That makes it even worse because Shawn is the reason Jericho wanted to come here in the first place. Shawn isn’t the showstopper anymore but the show has stopped. One superkick later and Shawn dances off.

Goldust vs. Christian

Christian goes right after him to start but gets bulldogged for two. An armbar slows things down until Christian comes off the top rope and dives right into something like a Boss Man Slam. A clothesline looks to set up Shattered Dreams but Christian pulls the referee in front and grabs a rollup (plus the ropes) for the cheap pin. I mean, I don’t know how mad I can get at Christian who was just trying to avoid a low blow but that’s what they were going for.

Rating: C+. The time was a problem but points for the energy they had out there. Goldust has hit a career renaissance here, which makes it even more amazing that he’s still going nearly fifteen years later. Considering he had only been around about fourteen years at this point, this Tag Team Title run came at the MIDDLE of his career to date. That’s almost impossible to believe.

Bischoff comes in to see HHH, who is actually reading. The boss tries to let HHH have his big moment now but HHH wants to know what’s going on. When the name Scott Steiner is mentioned, the new champ is really not happy. See, Steiner is a jacked up piece of trash who couldn’t hold HHH’s jock. If Bischoff gives him HHH’s spot, he’ll “pull a Steve Austin” and take the title with him.

Flair tells 3 Minute Warning to follow Batista’s lead.

Morely tells Terri to tell Steiner that he’s looking for him. Actually send him to Morely. No actually just call Morely and let him know. That’s still Val Venis getting this much promo time.

Kane is livid and rants about Flair and 3 Minute Warning. Rob Van Dam gives us a very calm translation of his ravings in an amusing bit. Kane isn’t pleased because he’s being mocked but Van Dam says he just needs to mellow. If you need someone to play half of the odd couple tag team, you do call on Kane.

Kane/Rob Van Dam vs. Batista/3 Minute Warning

No Rico in sight. Batista stomps Rob down to start and blasts him with a clothesline before it’s off to Jamal. Since he’s just Jamal, Van Dam scores with a kick to the face and Rolling Thunder gets two. Jamal ignores Batista to tag in Rosey, who eats a kick to the chest. That’s enough for Flair and Batista, who walk out on the Samoans. Kane comes in with the top rope clothesline but misses a running DDT, only to have Rosey sell it anyway. Well they weren’t considered the best team in the world. Van Dam comes back in as everything breaks down, leaving Jamal to get kicked into the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. I do like the idea of protecting Batista like that and the burial of the Samoans continue. Yeah they’re in hot water at the moment and they weren’t great in the first place but when the division is as thin as it already is, do you want to waste a team that could offer a quick challenge for the titles down the road? I mean, I know WWE is going to do it anyway but that doesn’t make it smart.

Steiner arrives and there’s no Morely in sight.

Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

It’s a brawl to start again with Regal and Storm getting their clocks cleaned. Storm and Bubba get things going with Lance taking him down and grabbing a quickly broken chinlock. The fans want tables but have to settle for hearing about how much JR likes Regal and Storm again. Regal and Storm take turns on Bubba until a kick to William’s face allows the hot tag to D-Von. Storm gets What’s Up and the reverse 3D is good for two on Regal. The referee gets rid of Bubba and Storm, leaving Regal to bring back the Power of the Punch to knock D-Von cold for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a match here and the winning streak jazz got a bit annoying as it was basically “well they’re undefeated if you forget the pay per view.” Regal and Storm are fine for a team but they have all the heat of a frozen pizza and that’s the last thing the division and/or the show need right now.

Raw Retro is Mankind winning the title in 1999.

Jeff Hardy vs. D’Lo Brown

Yes seriously and it’s a rematch from Heat where Jeff won despite Brown’s shoulder being up. They start fast again with Jeff sending D’Lo outside for the barricade running clothesline. Back in and Brown talks trash, sounding like he’s blaming people like Jeff for….whatever caused him to turn heel. The chinlock is quickly broken so Brown hits a gordbuster for two (even throwing in some free advice: Jeff better recognize). Jeff shrugs it off with a jawbreaker and sends him to the floor for a dive, followed by a quick Swanton for the pin. Ignore D’Lo’s foot being on the ropes.

Rating: D. I’ve always liked Brown (How can you not?) but he’s one of the least interesting heel turns I can remember in a long time. The problem here is the same as it’s been for years in wrestling: you can’t just bring someone out of mothballs after he’s spent years meaning nothing. It didn’t work back then and it doesn’t now.

Steiner is warming up when Flair comes in to say HHH is the main event. Scott disagrees.

Post break the referee apologizes to Brown, who turns it into a race issue.

Stacy has gotten Test a commercial shoot for a spray on deodorant….that you spray on your abs for some reason. It smells good there so Test knows it’ll smell good on his Testicles. They leave and Raven of all people is shown watching.

Chris Jericho vs. Booker T.

Before the match Jericho yells about being treated unfairly so JR sends us to a commercial. Jericho jumps him before the bell to continue tonight’s trend. Booker fights back but Chris shoves the referee into the ropes for a crotching. A side kick cuts Jericho off for a few seconds, only to have Chris snapmare him into a chinlock.

Booker fights up but gets bulldogged right back down as JR explains the concept of calling someone your “dawg” (which he spells without the a) to Lawler. The twisting sunset flip out of the corner is countered into a cradle for two. The Book End gets the same and we hit the Spinarooni, only to have Christian come in for the DQ. I mean, there’s no bell because we probably need to worry about the MAIN EVENT SLOT but whatever. JR: “Christian has been disqualified.”

Rating: C. Good match from these two as you would expect but there’s only so much you can do when you’re just waiting around for the end of the match. This helped set up next week’s rematch and I’m glad they didn’t have both champs do jobs a night after FINALLY winning the titles.

Booker and Goldust clean house.

Morely tries to convince Steiner to do this next week because Florida doesn’t deserve this. Oh and tonight is for HHH. Scott agrees to Morely’s face but then, to no one in particular, says that HHH will never forget this.

Here are Bischoff and Morely for the closing segment. HHH and Flair come out and we hit the video tribute, set to the same song as his highlight reel from Wrestlemania XVIII. HHH talks about how awesome he is and lists off some great names he’s beaten, making sure to take credit for running off the Rock.

Cue Steiner with his contract that he won’t sign without a World Title shot. HHH talks about how things worked “where Steiner used to work” (there’s your insider reference) but here, you have to beat someone. Steiner says he has big muscles and HHH has no testicles (not to be confused with Testicles). HHH agrees to give him a title shot for no apparent reason and then threatens to eat Steiner.

Scott signs the contract and Bischoff makes the match for the Royal Rumble. This angers everyone involved for some reason (When did HHH expect the match to take place?) but Steiner would rather talk about arm size. Steiner wants the fight tonight and HHH gives the expected response. Scott hits the catchphrase to FINALLY end this after fifteen plus minutes.

Overall Rating: D+. There were some good parts to the show but sweet chickenwings with barbecued mustard the big interview wasn’t one of them. At least have Steiner suplex HHH or something instead of just having them talk to each other. Steiner has gotten physical before but he can’t do so here too?

Anyway, the rest of the show was indeed better as they’ve set up something for next week’s show and they built it up well here. Doing something with the tag division is nice but EVERYTHING feels a mile below the main event, which isn’t any good in the first place. They need a better challenger for HHH (and a better champion but we’ll deal with that later) as the top story isn’t interesting and it’s going to get even worse when they finally have a match.

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