IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 14, 2004
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re past Bad Blood and Chris Benoit is still Raw World Champion. At the same time though, Shawn Michaels vs. HHH had the most epic finish to the most incredible, long running rivalry involving Shawn Michaels and HHH this year. Like really, the best thing ever and nothing will ever approach them. Let’s get to it.

Kane comes in to see Eric Bischoff to start. Bischoff thought Kane’s performance against Chris Benoit was good but they’ve had to name a new #1 contender. Kane isn’t happy but agrees to be a professional. The office is swiftly destroyed.

Opening sequence.

Jim Ross is in the ring to open things up and promises EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE from last night’s Cell match, because it just needs to keep going. As for now though, we need to bring out Shawn and HHH to officially end the rivalry. Leave it to these two to need a closing ceremony. They’re both rather banged up and looking rather serious and stare each other down. JR says last night’s match will be remembered for generations to come but now it needs to end. They need to shake hands and move on with their lives (preach it brother).

Both guys are tentative but here’s Bischoff to cut them off with an announcement about the new #1 contender. Kane cuts that off though and kicks Shawn in the face before turning to HHH. As usual, HHH bails in time, leaving Kane to kick Shawn again. That’s not enough though as he Pillmanizes Shawn’s throat, drawing blood from the mouth. That should get rid of Shawn for a long time, which might be best for everyone involved.

Post break and Shawn is still getting medical treatment with JR just a step above the Owen Hart voice. Shawn gets oxygen and is taken out on a stretcher to a waiting ambulance, as we’re nearly half an hour into the show.

Trish Stratus/Tyson Tomko vs. Lita/Matt Hardy

We get team facts this week, including that Matt and Lita are not morning people but do like margaritas. The women start things off with Trish taking over off a headlock takeover. Back up and the Matrish ducks a clothesline so Lita elbows her in the face for two. So what if a champion almost got pinned? We need to talk about Shawn and HHH NEARLY SHAKING HANDS!!!

The men come in with Tomko not being able to catch a diving Hardy. Tomko forearms him in the back of the head for two and it’s off to the chinlock. That goes as long as you would expect so Matt reverses a powerslam into a tornado DDT. Trish tags herself back in and gets clotheslined by Lita as the pace picks up. An enziguri drops Trish again as everything breaks down. Matt hits a good looking dive onto Tomko, leaving Lita to DDT Trish for the pin.

Rating: D. Another not great match and another instance of the champion losing the night after she wins the title. I’m not sure how smart that is, but given the state of the women’s division at the moment, it’s not like there are many people with any real value. Tomko continues to look fine as a power guy, but not being able to catch Matt didn’t do him any favors.

HHH comes in to see Bischoff and wishes Shawn good health. As for the important part though, HHH should be #1 contender after winning last night. Bischoff doesn’t think so just yet, because HHH needs to beat Eugene next week. Dang it they were doing so well. HHH seems pleased.

La Resistance vs. Hurricane/Rosey

Non-title flag match, on Flag Day. This time though it’s just a regular match with the winners having their flag raised and their national anthem played. Rosey and Grenier start things off with the big man sending him into the corner for a leg lariat from Hurricane. That means a striking of the pose but Grenier picks him up for a double hot shot.

Conway comes in for the short form chinlock and Hurricane fights up in short order. The Blockbuster connects and it’s back to Rosey for the house cleaning. Rosey blasts them both with clotheslines as everything breaks down. Hurricane gets posted so Hurricane grabs a suplex on Grenier but Conway trios the leg for the Bobby Heenan finish to give Grenier the pin.

Rating: D. Short and to the point here as the French guys get another win, which should be the case in a regular match. It would have been one thing if this had been the capture the flag version but you don’t want the champs losing so soon. You know, like Trish did in the previous match.

The Canadian anthem plays, though it sounds like the short form.

Video on the Diva Search, including the explanation of a fan vote. Egads please get it over with fast.

A nervous Lita goes into the bathroom with a pregnancy test.

It’s Highlight Reel time with special guest Eugene, accompanied by William Regal. Eugene uses the set like a maze and holds his microphone upside down. Jericho says he and Eugene are both sexy beasts and Eugene is a bit embarrassed. It turns out that Eugene is a Jericho fan and his favorite moment is when he relieved himself in Regal’s tea. Eugene: “I did the same thing last week.” Regal’s response is as annoyed/hilarious as you would expect.

On to more serious things, Eugene is excited about getting to face HHH. Jericho says enjoy it while you can because HHH doesn’t like anyone and only cares about himself. The only reason Bischoff made the match was so HHH could beat him up and end his career. This brings out Evolution and Randy Orton has a present. HHH insists that they’re all his friends and Jericho is a mean liar. HHH is the biggest friend he has because he’s bigger than the Rock and Chris Benoit.

That brings us to the present: a HHH hat, a HHH shirt (goes on over the jacket) and an autographed picture from HHH. Finally, there’s an Evolution shirt and HHH has Eugene sign it for him. We even get a cameraman to take a photo with Eugene and HHH (HHH: “On three you’re gonna say Pedigree.”). There’s no attack, as instead HHH talks about how Jericho and Regal have been lying to Eugene. If they do it again, come tell HHH and he’ll take care of it. HHH talks up their match and says he knows he’ll have a great time.

Eugene and Regal leave so Jericho glares at HHH. Jericho knows what’s up and is going to be the first in line when Eugene beats him next week. HHH denies everything and promises to win tonight’s elimination match. Then he’s getting the title back, because he deserves it and Jericho knows that.

There’s a lot here and most of it is good. First of all, Eugene plays this character to perfection. You actually buy that there’s something wrong with him and it’s turned into one of the best played characters WWE has had in a long time. Then there’s HHH, who was nailing the condescending jerk who has things exactly where he wants them and knows it. As a bonus, Regal was great with his sneering as he and Jericho know exactly what’s going on but don’t want to crush Eugene.

That being said, I’m not so sure about having Eugene dealing with Evolution. I know he’s one of the hottest things in the company right now, but part of the reason is he’s a fun character and not someone to be taken seriously. I could see something like a match with Flair, who is the one member of the team that can absorb loss after loss. The rest though, especially HHH, is a big step up for him and it’s running a very big risk.

Stacy Keibler asks to borrow Lita’s elbow pads and the very nervous Lita admits that she’s pregnant. Of course Stacy is happy and says she and Matt will be great parents. Lita doesn’t her to tell anyone because she’s going to tell Matt tonight. Remember how many great things there were in the previous segment? Reverse all of that here.

Stacy Keibler/Nidia vs. Molly Holly/Gail Kim

In a rather selfish move, JR and Lawler talk about Lita being pregnant. Dude did you not hear her talking to Stacy on live television in front of millions of people? She didn’t want anyone to know yet! Nidia armdrags Gail down to start and a dropkick sends her into the corner for the tag off to Molly. A surprisingly good counter gets Nidia out of a wristlock but Molly takes her down and cranks on the arm. Stacy comes in for her variety of leg based offense and a slap, all while looking as unnatural as possible.

The front facelock goes on and the referee doesn’t see the tag to Nidia. He does see the tag to Gail, as Lawler can’t believe anyone would miss anything in a match involving four women. Gail works on the leg with a really unique leglock where she puts on something like a Figure Four but bridges up the legs look like an arch. Nidia makes a quick save so it’s back to Molly for a double clothesline. With Nidia knocks down, Gail puts on a Brock Lock with a headscissors to make Stacy tap.

Rating: D. Gail’s submissions were rather nice and that’s definitely a better style for her than the basic stuff she’s been doing. Stacy….just no. She’s not good in the ring and looks completely lost out there aside from kicking people in the ribs. She manages to make Torrie Wilson look skilled. That’s a really low bar to set but she’s pulled it off.

Smackdown Rebound.

Long video on the Cell match. My goodness Wrestlemania didn’t get this much coverage.

Somewhere around here, a five minute preview of the Joe Schmo Show aired. While that was taking place, Tajiri defeated A-Train.

We recap everything Kane has done tonight, including wrecking Shawn’s throat.

Evolution vs. Chris Benoit/Edge/Chris Jericho

That would be Batista/Randy Orton/Ric Flair (with HHH at ringside) and this is under elimination rules. Orton and Jericho start things off with Randy being taken to the mat for an early bow and arrow. Flair comes in to work on a hammerlock and drive Jericho into the corner for some shots to the back. It’s off to Batista for a powerslam as the picking apart of Jericho continues. Lawler keeps babbling on about HHH being Eugene’s friend, to the point where JR shouts about tapping out and says maybe HHH is, just to shut Lawler up.

Jericho gets over for the tag off to Edge, meaning the required backdrop to Flair. A clothesline puts Flair on the floor and a double dropkick does the same to Batista as we take a break. Back with Benoit getting out of trouble with some chops to Flair. Edge comes in so Flair is waiting on him with a thumb to the eye to take over again. A clothesline has Flair screaming about his neck and Edge makes it worse with some right hands in the corner. Benoit and Batista come in for the exchange of chops until Batista plants him with the spinebuster.

It’s back to Orton for a forearm to the neck as JR talks about Orton bragging today. He was even bragging about it on a CELL PHONE. Now you know it’s serious. Flair puts on an armbar, followed by Batista getting two off a suplex as the alternating continues. The beating goes on for so long that the announcers start recapping the show and talking about the Wright Brothers. Benoit kicks Batista away and brings Jericho back in for a failed Walls attempt.

The big clothesline takes Jericho down as well as the Canadians just can’t get much going here. Jericho gets in the enziguri though and everything breaks down. Edge’s spear and the Swanton sets up the Lionsault gets rid of Batista. Flair comes in next and kicks Jericho in the ribs as the fans give Batista the Goodbye Song. It’s quickly off to Orton for a rather aggressive chinlock with Lawler being way too happy with the cranking.

Jericho fights up and brings Edge back in but he charges into a raised boot. He’s fine enough to superplex Orton but HHH breaks up the spear. Flair goes up but gets slammed right back down, allowing the latest hot tag to Jericho. That means the running forearm as everything breaks down again. Jericho gets the Walls on Flair but HHH offers a distraction, meaning it’s the RKO to give Flair the pin, tying things up. Back from a break with Orton chopping Benoit as JR thanks the network for letting them stay on the air late.

Flair comes in and loses a strike off to Benoit (well duh) and takes a few shots from Edge as well, giving us the Flair Flop. The classic poke to the eye lets Orton come back in for another chinlock. JR is even talking about the angles of the chinlock, making me think Orton might use a few too many chinlocks. Edge fights up and hits a spinwheel kick as JR is way too happy to talk about how late the show is going. Benoit comes in again to exchange chops with Flair, followed by the rolling German suplexes.

Without a tag, Orton comes in as well, earning himself a German suplex of his own. It’s another tag to Edge to clean house (it must be the cleanest house in the world after all this) and a spear hits Flair. Unfortunately a low blow and the RKO hit Edge, giving Orton the pin to make it 2-1.

Actually scratch that as a quick Crossface makes Flair tap and it’s Benoit vs. Orton. Benoit is spent so Orton comes in and unloads with forearms to the chest but Benoit turns it into a slugout instead. More rolling German suplexes are blocked by elbows to the head….and the referee gets bumped. Benoit goes for the Sharpshooter but has to German suplex HHH. Now the Sharpshooter is enough to make Orton tap for the win.

Rating: A-. Now this worked. So often you’ll get a match that is just long instead of good but in this case you had both. These guys beat each other up and it really did feel like it was about survival by the end. Evolution vs. Canada N Pals is one of the best things to happen to this show in a long time and this was another great example. Really strong main event here and Benoit winning in the end is a great call.

Overall Rating: B. This worked very well for the most part with the long main event taking up about a fourth of the show and the Highlight Reel taking up even more time. The rest of the show, mainly meaning the Lita drama and that kind of weird tag match (You already have Trish vs. Lita for the title. Did we need to spend the time on Gail and Molly?), wasn’t worth seeing but the good stuff here was really good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Bad Blood 2004
Date: June 13, 2004
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for another Raw show and wouldn’t you know it, the main event is Shawn Michaels vs. HHH. This time it’s inside the Cell, with the question being how can they managed to make this match boring too. Other than that we have World Champion Chris Benoit defending the title against Kane and Shelton Benjamin challenging Randy Orton for the Intercontinental Title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the Cell, with the far lower matches on the card getting some attention as well. You know, the title matches.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Chris Benoit/Edge

La Resistance is defending and sing O Canada in French with Edge’s music cutting them off. That’s rather unfair to some people who are just trying to spread some culture. Benoit, working a double tonight, gets quite the reaction. Edge and Grenier start us off and fight over some basic holds. It’s off to Benoit for a shoulder and a clothesline to put Grenier in some trouble, including a tag back to Edge.

Conway comes in as well and gets booed out of the building. Who knew he actually had some heat with the crowd? Benoit hits a belly to back suplex but Edge gets taken into the champs’ corner and things slow back down. A back first drive into the apron gets two and Grenier puts on a chinlock with a knee in the spine. Grenier drops a legdrop to the to the back of the neck and puts on another chinlock, with the referee very loudly telling Edge SIX.

With the hold not working again, Conway grabs a suplex and hammers away at the head. The fans chant USA, which would likely be for Conway. Dang people make up your minds. Edge finally gets in a spinwheel kick but the champs knock Benoit off the apron. A double suplex is countered into a double neckbreaker though and Benoit is right back up to take the tag anyway. The house cleaning is on and Conway saves Grenier from the Sharpshooter. Edge stops himself before spearing Benoit and Grenier gets caught in the Crossface, but here’s Kane to kick Benoit in the face for the DQ.

Rating: C. This felt like a slightly bigger than average Raw match and the ending is the right call as it ties into the World Title match and gives them a way out of the title change without having Edge or Benoit take a fall. La Resistance can carry the division for a little while and Edge and Benoit have more important things to do. Not a bad job here of getting out of this and everyone getting where they need to go.

Post match it’s chokeslams all around.

Coach is ready to take care of Eugene and Eric Bischoff ensures him that William Regal won’t be at ringside. Of course Eugene is only a few feet away and this time he heard what was said. Eric explains that he’s just trying to protect him. What if Eugene tore his quad like HHH or broke his neck like Benoit? Eugene can leave right now and go home or he can wrestle. The decision involves a very enthusiastic hug.

Chris Jericho vs. Tyson Tomko

Trish Stratus is here with Tomko. Jericho has bad ribs after Tomko powerbombed him through the announcers’ table a few weeks back. Tomko will have nothing to do with Jericho being tentative to start so he hammers Jericho down in the corner. A clothesline keeps Jericho in trouble but he’s right back with a middle rope dropkick. Another dropkick puts Tomko on the floor and Jericho posts him for good measure.

Back in and the required Trish distraction lets Tomko get in a gorilla press gutbuster. At least you can’t fault the logic. The bearhug goes on for a bit until Tomko lets him go but misses a charge in the corner. Jericho rakes the eyes to get out of the gorilla press (cheater) and a chop block takes Tomko down. Trish’s second distraction breaks up the Walls (better than breaking them down) so Jericho settles for a running enziguri and the pin instead.

Rating: C-. They were really smart to keep this one short as Tomko isn’t ready to go into the deeper waters. Jericho walked him through the match just fine and while it wasn’t anything special, they had a perfectly watchable match. They had to do something to get away from Jericho vs. Christian and for a one off short match, this was fine.

We recap Shelton Benjamin vs. Randy Orton. Shelton has pinned him a few times in tag matches but Batista pinned Shelton on Raw to end his winning streak. I’m not sure what the point of that is but at least he got the wins that mattered.

Orton brags about holding the title for so long, including six months from tomorrow and the longest reign in seven years. The fans aren’t happy with this Orton takes the mic and has the cameraman follow him into the arena as he brags about his accomplishments at 24 years old. Orton says they’re looking at real greatness right now and he’s one in a million, unlike the millions of people here. He’s a living legend and the Intercontinental Champion. This brings out Shelton, who says we can have the match right now instead of later. Nice job of mixing things up a bit, which happens so infrequently around here.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Shelton Benjamin

Benjamin is challenging and grabs a rollup for two less than five seconds in. A dropkick puts Orton on the floor and the fans are rather happy to see him. Back in and Orton scores with some right hands but gets clotheslined right back down to the floor. Shelton sends him over the barricade and then takes it back inside for two more off a second rollup. The Stinger Splash (and a very high one at that) misses so here’s Ric Flair for some support.

The chinlock has Benjamin down so he powers up with an electric chair for the break. Orton’s over the shoulder backbreaker into a neckbreaker (always loved that one) gets two and it’s off to the chinlock. With that having served its purpose, Orton goes up but misses the high crossbody. They slug it out and get some rather solid applause until Benjamin takes over with some clotheslines. The top rope version gets two and the Dragon Whip knocks Randy silly for a very delayed cover.

Shelton hits the exploder but Flair is right there to put a foot on the ropes. What a good legendary henchman. Benjamin throws Flair inside, gives him a Stinger Splash and puts on the Figure Four. Orton comes over for the save but Shelton manages to small package him without letting go of the hold for two. That one gets me every time I see it. Shelton goes up for the high crossbody but Orton rolls through and grabs the trunks to retain.

Rating: B-. This got the time to make it work and the ending keeps Shelton looking strong while keeping the title on Orton. Shelton has come a long way in just a few months and you can tell he’s going to be around as we keep going. Orton never even hit the RKO and Shelton had him in trouble for a lot of the match. Good storytelling here and the action worked as well.

Matt Hardy and Lita are in the back where Lita is getting ready for her Women’s Title match. Security comes in and Bischoff ejects Matt from the building. Matt leaves under threats of Lita being removed from the title match.

We look up at the Cell and JR promises the match is still coming. No they didn’t cancel the main event.

Women’s Title: Gail Kim vs. Trish Stratus vs. Lita vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Everyone stares Trish to the floor to start but she pulls Lita out with her. Cue Tomko to stare Lita down as Victoria hits the dancing moonsault for two on Gail. Tomko interferes again and gets ejected, leaving Lita to hit the reverse Twist of Fate on Trish. Victoria makes a save and all four are back in. A hurricanrana drops Trish’s head on the mat, leaving Gail to put Victoria in the Black Widow.

Trish comes back in for the save and gets the taste slapped out of her mouth by Gail. Lita takes Gail down and awkwardly collides with Victoria in the corner to put all four down. Gail is up but misses a charge into the post, allowing Lita to snap her down with the DDT. Not that it matters as Trish runs in for the rollup to pin Lita for the title.

Rating: D. They were working hard and only botched a few things, which is an upgrade over some of the stuff they do most of the time. Victoria was WAY past her expiration date as champion and Trish has been the biggest name in the division for a long time now. They could only do so much with four women involved plus Tomko in less than five minutes so I can’t really complain that much about everything being rushed.

Jonathan Coachman vs. Eugene

No Regal with Eugene here. Coach is in a Michigan shirt to mock the Ohio State crowd. They shake hands to start with Coach trying to squeeze him down but getting sent to his knees instead. Coach whips him in but Eugene drops to his back and ties himself into a ball, which Coach rolls around the ring. Eventually Eugene sticks a hand out and pulls Coach down into a cover for two.

Another whip sends Eugene to the ropes so Coach drops down, with Eugene dropping right next to him. That means it’s time to ride Coach like a horse as Lawler is getting annoyed. The crisscross starts with Eugene dropping to the floor and accepting a teddy bear from a good looking blonde. Eugene brings it back in with him but gets knocked down, only to take Coach into a bodyscissors and roll him around the ring. The Junkyard Dog offense lets Eugene have some more fun and Coach bails to the floor.

This brings out a good looking woman in a swimsuit carrying a tray of cookies. Eugene goes to get some (cookies that is) but gets knocked into the plate instead. Back in and Eugene Hulks Up for an atomic drop, followed by the airplane spin. Now it’s Garrison Cade coming out to rip the head off the bear. Cade grabs Eugene but gets knocked down by Coach instead. The Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow finish Coach.

Rating: D. Well that was a lot. This could have been a straight match or without the cookie lady but instead they stretched it out and went on a lot further than they needed to. Above all else though, they went back to the comedy stuff here, which was exactly what they should have done in the first place. Longer than it needed to be, but the ending was done right.

Post match Cade and Coach take Stunners as Regal comes in to celebrate. Eugene steals his nose, but is nice enough to give it back.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Kane. Benoit finally won the big one, then won the big rematch. Now it’s time for a title defense against anyone other than Shawn Michaels or HHH, so Kane won a battle royal to earn the shot. Kane has been more obsessed with Lita and Matt Hardy though, only seeming to remember that he had a title match on this week’s Raw.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Kane

Benoit is defending in his second match of the night. Some very loud chops stagger Kane to start and Benoit kicks him into the corner with more aggression than you would usually see from him. Benoit goes to the middle and says bring it so Kane shoves him into the corner. A hard shoulder puts Benoit on the floor but he’s right back in with the enziguri. Kane blocks the Sharpshooter (not the Crossface JR) and uppercuts the heck out of the champ.

A big clothesline to the side of the head puts Benoit down and Kane drops him throat first across the top rope. After a neckbreaker, it’s off to a neck crank as Kane certainly has a logical path here. The comeback is cut off by an uppercut and a forearm to the neck prevents a Sharpshooter attempt. Kane sends him outside before bringing him back in for a rather hard clothesline. With Lawler asking if Kane can get a telethon tomorrow should he win the title, Benoit gets smart by going after the leg. That allows JR to get in the still wrong statement of “Kane won’t be 7ft if he’s on his back.”

The Sharpshooter is countered again but Benoit kicks his way out of a chokeslam attempt. Kane misses the big boot in the corner though and a running dropkick to the leg finally lets Benoit get the Sharpshooter. The dramatic crawl gets Kane to the rope so Benoit rolls the German suplexes instead. Kane sits up before the Swan Dive can launch so it’s back to the suplexes.

Now the Swan Dive can connect but Kane is up at the same time as Benoit. The Crossface is broken up as well and the chokeslam connects for two. Kane boots him down and heads up, only to dive into the Crossface (because Kane didn’t learn from Benoit, who was smart enough to come down when his opponent was starting to stir). The hold is broken through raw power so Benoit switches to the other arm and then goes with a rollup for the pin to retain in a smart move. Ignore the shoulder pretty clearly being off the mat.

Rating: B+. It takes something special to make Kane look energetic but Benoit pulled it off here. I love the ending of Benoit going for one thing throughout the match and then switching up when he knew the submissions weren’t going to work. That’s a very smart ending and it makes Benoit look more versatile at the same time. Really good match here with Kane looking like a monster who had more than one chance and Benoit working him way around him.

Post match Benoit says tonight, Kane learned that he’s for real. He actually looks at some of the highlights and acknowledges Kane’s power but says it took someone real to take him down.

The Cell is lowered. JR, get your ridiculous metaphors in now.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. HHH, which exists because for some reason we just can’t escape it. Shawn tried to beat him last year, then went to a draw with him at the Royal Rumble, then didn’t win at Wrestlemania, then lost at Backlash. Now you might think that all these losses and draws (read as NOT WINS) would be enough to get Shawn out of the main event but that would be crazy talk. This is the big blowoff between the two of them, because the world was begging for it.

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Inside the Cell and HHH has the white boots again. They stare at each other for the better part of a minute to start, meaning HHH is in epic mode tonight. Thankfully they start fighting with the slugout in the corner until HHH elbows him hard in the jaw. Shawn is right back up with more right hands but HHH sends him outside. A ram into the Cell lets Shawn take over and they head back inside as the announcers talk about how both guys want this to be final. Oh I think there are more than just the two of them.

Shawn busts out the Ted DiBiase fist drop (cool) but charges into a boot and gets thrown outside. That just earns HHH a whip into the Cell and he’s busted open. Back in again and Shawn stays on the cut but his back seems to be giving him problems. HHH is smart enough to send Shawn hard into the corner, with JR saying that HHH is one of the strongest men in the history of WWE. Did Stephanie feed him that line? Some elbows to the back set up a suplex and backbreaker for two as frustration is setting in.

It’s chair time but Shawn kicks it away and sends HHH outside. Following him isn’t the best idea in the world though as HHH rams him into the Cell and the post over and over. Back in and a side slam onto the folded chair gives HHH two so he covers several more times to no avail. A chair to the back gets the same result but Shawn is up with a hiptoss to the floor. HHH comes back in to a low blow as this is still lacking the necessary intensity.

They’re beating each other up, but it doesn’t feel nearly violent enough. An atomic drop sends HHH back to the floor and Shawn whips him into the steps, which JR says must be the cousin of the Cell. Shawn tries a piledriver on the steps (nice little callback to the first Cell match) but gets backdropped onto the floor. HHH grabs a fresh chair (because….I have no idea really) and blasts the back again. The steps come in now but Shawn hits the flying forearm and nips up.

HHH hits him with the steps anyway and that draws more blood. Well that makes it feel a little more violent. That’s not enough of a reason to lay around some more so HHH hits him a second time. Of course Michaels kicks out and more blood flows, which is made even worse as HHH takes it outside again. Shawn’s face gets raked against the Cell and the spinebuster plants him back inside. Just because we need one, HHH grabs the sleeper but gets sent into the corner.

HHH tell Shawn to counter the Pedigree into the DDT, tries the Pedigree, and gets reversed into a DDT. It’s Shawn up after the next required nap with a chair to the head to bust HHH open even worse. We haven’t had enough stuff in here yet, so let’s bring in a ladder to hit HHH in the face as well. A whip into the ladder in the corner puts HHH on the floor, this time with Shawn raking his face into the Cell. Back in and HHH gets whipped into the ladder again for two but the top rope elbow misses.

They slug it out from their knees as JR points out that this is the longest Cell match in history. Naturally they collapse, because they need a nap after being in the match so long. Back up (again) and HHH sends him shoulder first into the post, allowing him to grab a table. Shawn comes back with some slow motion punches and puts HHH on the table. The elbow off the ladder through the table gets an eventual two and they’re both down again. Sweet Chin Music is blocked by a low blow and there’s the Pedigree.

That gets two and they pull each other up in what I’m sure is some kind of symbolism, but GET ON WITH THIS ALREADY! Now Sweet Chin Music connects for another delayed two and HHH is back up with another Pedigree. No cover due to the required nap, so it’s a third Pedigree to FINALLY give HHH the pin.

Rating: C+. What’s amazing is it’s not a bad match at all. The violence is pretty good, they had a nice story with Shawn’s back (at least for the first half), and it felt like the big ending to the rivalry. The problem is you could actually cut off half of the match and still do the same thing. There is WAY too much laying around and filling in time, plus so much stuff that was just added to make the match feel big (the ladder and the table are good places to start). The length is the problem here and it’s the best example I can think of for a match that is long for the sake of being long. Now never let them fight again.

Post match they’re both dead so Evolution comes to help HHH out. JR talks this up like the greatest, most brutal match of all time, even though it’s not even the most brutal Cell match in Shawn’s career. JR: “The longest running, most storied rivalry in WWE history has ended.” You know, this feud that isn’t even two years old and, if you count Elimination Chambers and triple threats, less than ten major matches against each other. Anyway Shawn gets the big heroic stand up moment to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was another good example of how these brands aren’t really able to do stand alone shows. There was a match that took up about an hour (counting entrances, video and post match) and the World Champion had to wrestle twice. The show was long enough at around two hours and fifty minutes but look at how much time they had to fill to get there.

The show itself isn’t that bad though. The title matches (save for the women) are almost all good and the Cell is fine enough, assuming you watch it at double speed or need something to put you to sleep. That Cell match drains the energy out of the show though as it’s over a third of the entire run time. There are far worse shows (last year’s Bad Blood was a disaster) but you’re better off stopping it after about an hour and forty five minutes. Now, just keep HHH and Shawn apart for good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: June 10, 2004
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re getting closer and closer to the Great American Bash and this week is all about the Undertaker possibly joining forces with Paul Heyman and the Dudley Boyz for the sake of saving Paul Bearer. That just screams bad idea due to some of the people involved (hint: their names are Bubba and D-Von) but maybe the others can save things. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Bearer being kidnapped and Heyman’s proposition. This is somehow better than JBL’s radio show discussions.

Opening sequence.

Kurt Angle is in the ring to open the show. He used to come here to Long Island when he was WWE Champion and people booed him out of the building. It didn’t matter though because Angle knew he was better than everyone. The fans start a pretty fast paced YOU SUCK chant until Angle says he can never wrestle again. We see a clip of last week’s brawl between Booker T. and John Cena, which saw Angle get knocked over by Cena and hit in the knee by Booker’s chair shot.

Angle wants an apology so here’s Booker to say it was all Cena’s fault. He couldn’t sleep for three days after he hit Angle, so now he’ll apologize five times. Angle accepts it and excuses him but now it’s Cena’s turn. The rap is cut off by a raving Angle (always entertaining) but Cena says he didn’t mean to hit Angle last week, because Angle would still be in the hospital if he tried to.

Angle has talked to the board of directors and Cena is now on probation, meaning he’s stripped of the US Title on the spot if he lays a hand on Angle again. For tonight though, Cena needs to apologize for who he is. That’s not happening because Cena isn’t changing a thing and if Angle doesn’t like it, he can wheel himself out of here. Besides, they’re even. Cena can’t touch him but Angle can’t see him. That’s enough for Cena but Angle says Cena has three matches tonight. Each one will be five minutes long and the first man to beat him gets a US Title shot at the Great American Bash. I’ve heard worse ideas….I think?

Kenzo Suzuki vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Suzuki is carried to the ring on a throne with a woman walking behind him. The announcers talk about Suzuki wanting vengeance, though they’re not sure what the vengeance is for actually. My guess is for Scotty’s dancing. Suzuki goes after the arm to start and chops at the neck, with a big one putting Scotty down in the corner. A kick to the face drops Scotty again and Kenzo starts spinning around for some reason. Scotty scores with a superkick but a claw STO finishes him off in a hurry. Based on this match, Suzuki has an awesome future. Provided he can build a time machine and go back to a territory in 1984.

Angle talks to Cena’s opponents for tonight (Booker T., Rob Van Dam and Rene Dupree) so they can draw straws to determine an order, but that has to be behind closed doors.

Earlier today, JBL went to a salon and made fun of the immigrants who took care of him. It’s far too late, but this is the kind of thing he should have been doing from the beginning: going over the top and taking advantage of the people he constantly insults to show what a hypocrite he is. That’s the kind of person you want to see take a beating, not a guy droning on about a radio show and a stock portfolio.

JBL arrives at the arena, decides this place isn’t worth his time, and leaves. The driver won’t listen to him though, mainly because the driver is Eddie. So was Eddie driving all day or did he switch places in the fifteen seconds JBL was outside of the car and looking forward the whole time? Either way, JBL can’t operate a door so Eddie drives off, hitting some trash on the way.

Earlier today, the Dudleys and Heyman drank to celebrate what they did. Heyman says not so fast, because Paul Bearer was the only person Undertaker would go to for advice. Now they control Bearer, who controls the Undertaker. Heyman is going to the arena alone tonight so they tell him to be careful.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo Classic, with his ladies, is on commentary. Rey wristdrags him to start and Chavo isn’t sure what to do. Chavo gets in a dropkick though and it’s already time to choke on the rope. That’s not the best idea though as Rey sends him through those ropes for a big dive off the top. Back from a break with Chavo dropkick Rey out of the air and Classic turning into the biggest cheerleader ever, though he does think he could do it better than Jr. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back for a bit before Chavo puts him on top.

That earns him an elbow to the face and a moonsault press for two. A kick to the face has Rey right back down and Tazz starts singing Beatles songs and talking about Fantasy Island. The springboard seated senton gives Rey two and a spinning armdrag has Chavo in….and never mind the trouble as he Alley Oops Rey to drop him again. Chavo’s Gory Bomb (Classic: “My dad invented this move!”) is broken up and there’s the 619, followed by some failed interference from Classic. Rey grabs a hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: C-. Ok it’s time to get the title on Rey again. The Classic stuff was funny for a little while (his commentary is still great) but having him holding the title has already run its limited course. Either put it on Jr. or give it back to Rey, because they really need to restore some credibility to the title after the last few weeks.

Jr. is furious with his dad.

Raw Rebound.

As the parking lot is being cleaned up, Eddie drives the (now smoking and mostly destroyed) limo back in. He switches to reverse and backs into another car, knocking what looks like a bunch of crash pads onto it.

Back from a break and Eddie drives the ruined limo (only one horn left and a headlight hanging off) into the arena. He opens the back door but Bradshaw has passed out with the food and drinks all over him. Eddie gets in the ring and makes some jokes as Bradshaw is waking up and stumbles out of the limo. After putting on the hat, he sees the damage and panics. Again: much more entertaining because it’s not just JBL talking about the same thing he’s talked about for weeks.

Video on the European tour.

The following three matches are all non-title with five minute time limits and whoever beats Cena first gets a US Title shot at the Great American Bash. That’s actually unique for a change.

John Cena vs. Booker T.

Kurt Angle is out to watch. Booker slams him down to start but Cena comes out of the corner with a running clothesline. A hot shot and the superkick give Booker two, followed by a kick to the face for two more. We hit the chinlock, which Tazz calls good strategy after talking about how little time he has left. Cena fights up but gets knocked right back down with the side kick. Booker takes his sweet time though and Cena blasts him with a clothesline. A slow motion ax kick misses as time expires.

Rating: D. That’s on a bit of a sliding scale as you can only do so much with a match designed to go to a short time limit. Booker wasn’t even acting urgently here and it made you wonder what he was thinking. He knew the idea of the match (the big clock on the screen probably gave him an idea) but he was walking around rather slowly and not really going for it. That doesn’t make sense.

John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam

Joined in progress after the break (Nine seconds after the break. What’s the point?) with Van Dam spinning around and getting two off a spinning kick to the face. Cena clotheslines him out of the air for two of his own and hits a running forearm to the back (kind of an odd move). A running knee to the ribs and a suplex give Cena two but Van Dam scores with the stepover kick. The split legged moonsault connects for two more but Booker crotches Rob to break up the Five Star. Angle ejects Booker from ringside so Rob breaks up a superplex attempt and kicks Cena in the face. There’s the Five Star, but time expires again.

Rating: C-. Better match but still not good, though having Booker interfere made Van Dam look a little bit better. It’s a bit of a stretch for Rob to not be able to beat a tired Cena so the interference worked well here. It could also set up a Van Dam vs. Booker match, which could help out the pay per view card quite a bit.

John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Dupree asks for five more minutes so Angle says go ahead. A belly to belly plants Cena and Dupree hits the French Tickler….but walks into the FU for the pin.

Rating: D+. Well it wasn’t exactly great and the bonus stuff just made Dupree look even weaker than he has in recent weeks. Dupree still knows how to get booed and that’s going to be worth something but Cena is on a different level right now and isn’t about to lose to him. It wasn’t a good match or anything, but at least Dupree lasted the five minutes.

Post match Angle says Cena didn’t win in the five minutes so it didn’t count. Booker runs back in and beats Cena down with Van Dam making the save. Angle says Cena didn’t win anything in the challenge so he’ll defend against all three of them at the Bash. Cena and Van Dam have some words and Rob kicks him in the head.

Long recap of the Heyman/Dudleys/Undertaker story.

Here’s Paul Heyman with a bag over his shoulder. He wants to make sure the cameras are recording because this is where everything begins. Tonight is the night when the most powerful force in wrestling joins forces with the most creative man in wrestling. So Undertaker needs to come out here with an answer….and there’s the gong. Undertaker slowly comes to the ring and Heyman pulls the Urn out of the bag. He holds it up and Undertaker stares at it before taking the knee to end the show with Tazz and Cole panicking.

Overall Rating: D. The Cena stuff was a fine idea that didn’t work great in practicality, the Eddie/JBL stuff was an improvement but that’s not exactly a huge step up, and Kenzo Suzuki debuted. What exactly is there that was a good thing on this show? Somehow, it’s Chavo Classic, who was entertaining on commentary and part of the only story that didn’t have me checking the time to see how much longer was left. The show is getting slightly better, but it’s still one of the worst times the show has ever seen.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 7, 2004
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Bad Blood and we can see most of the card from here. The big story continues to be HHH vs. Shawn Michaels inside the Cell, though last week’s show got some focus on Kane vs. Chris Benoit for the World Heavyweight Title. At the same time though, focus was also heavily on Eugene, which doesn’t bode well for his future. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Stacy Keibler to open things up. She plugs the Diva Search, saying it’s a great opportunity to be a TV star (not a wrestler, not a valet, but a TV star). One thing the winner will have to get used to is having their own entrance, so Stacy demonstrates her own a few times. Cue Gail Kim to interrupt, saying Stacy can show you how to be a Diva but she’s going to show us how to be a future Women’s Champion.

Gail Kim vs. Lita

Lita starts fast with a running corner clothesline but a drop toehold sends her throat first into the ropes. It’s off to the legs for Gail as she kicks at Lita’s knee and rams it into the mat, leaving JR to completely ignore Lawler’s questions about Lita’s looks. A leglock goes on for a bit before Gail wraps the leg around the post. Lita makes it back in and hits an enziguri, followed by a suplex into a nip up on one leg. Gail is right back with a reverse Figure Four to send Lita screaming and crawling to the ropes as Lawler is rather pleased with the legs twisting so much. Back up and Lita grabs a DDT for the clean pin.

Rating: D. The wrestling could have been worse but I really hope this isn’t supposed to set up a triple threat on Sunday. Gail is already the #1 contender to the Women’s Title and now Lita just pins her like that. I know the women’s division is kind of a mess and stuff like this isn’t doing it any favors.

Coach comes in to see Johnny Nitro and Eric Bischoff, the latter of whom gives him a match with Eugene on Sunday. Nitro thinks that might go bad for Bischoff, so Eugene gives him a match with Eugene tonight. If Nitro loses, “he’s going to be hearing the exact same words Donald Trump’s apprentices here: ‘YOU’RE FIRED!’” So Bischoff wants to get rid of Eugene and puts him against an announcer and a rookie? Why is he not making a nine on one handicap match? Must be a villainous authority figure.

Batista vs. Shelton Benjamin

Ric Flair is in Batista’s corner. Batista goes straight to the power by whipping Benjamin around but gets sent face first into the buckle. A powerslam and suplex take Benjamin right back down until he gets up and jumps on Batista’s back for a choke. With that not working, Benjamin goes with a kick to the leg and a running knee to the head.

The Stinger Splash draws Flair onto the apron (as it should) and Batista uses the distraction for a heck of a spinebuster. Cue Randy Orton for some reason and Benjamin slips out of the Batista Bomb. There’s the top rope clothesline but Orton gets on the apron, allowing Batista to hit his hard clothesline. Now the Batista Bomb can connect for the pin.

Rating: C. Two matches and two really questionable booking choices with two #1 contenders for a show in less than a week losing. This one wasn’t clean but Shelton has been on a roll in recent weeks, mainly thanks to beating Evolution over and over. So now he loses before the title shot against the last member of the team? I continue to be astounded and confused by this company.

Post match, Evolution destroys Benjamin. This leads to him winning the title right?

Edge and Chris Benoit aren’t happy with each other for losing the Tag Team Titles tonight. Making it even worse, Edge couldn’t get to Bischoff to get their rematch. Coach comes in and announces Benoit vs. La Resistance in a handicap match tonight. Good thing he was standing right there.

Trish Stratus and Tyson Tomko come in to see Bischoff. See, Lita beat the #1 contender earlier tonight and Trish beat Lita a few weeks ago. That’s not enough to get her a title shot, but she does get the good news of Tomko vs. Chris Jericho on Sunday. Kane comes in, stares Tomko down, and says he wants to talk to Bischoff alone.

Chris Jericho vs. A-Train

Oh yeah A-Train still works here. Jericho still has bad ribs so A-Train knees him in the bandages to start. The comeback is cut off with a gorilla press drop and more kicks to the ribs keep Jericho down. A-Train bends the ribs over the knee so Jericho kicks him in the head (8 3/8 I believe) for the break. The Derailer gives A-Train two and that’s going to be it for his chances here. The Train Wreck is broken up and it’s an Enziguri to set up the Walls to make A-Train tap in a hurry. Now wouldn’t it have made more sense to have Bischoff use A-Train on Eugene and Nitro on Jericho because even Nitro could beat an injured Jericho?

Smackdown Rebound.

Here’s HHH for his weekly chat. In a few minutes he’s going to go sit in the sky box with his food and drinks while Orton destroys Shawn Michaels. Now he’s not a religious man, but he knows Shawn is. He doesn’t know if he’s ever going to Heaven, but on Sunday, he and Shawn will go to h***. HHH heads up to his sky box, actually going through the crowd. Eh it was short so I can’t complain.

Video on HHH hurting Shawn over the years.

Video on Shawn hurting HHH over the years. Never let it be said that this feud leaves any stone unturned to tell you how AMAZING it is.

Flair and Batista have joined HHH in the box.

Chris Benoit vs. La Resistance

Non-title and Benoit has to cut off Grenier singing O Canada in French. Benoit sends Conway down and tells Grenier to bring it on as well. Instead it’s Conway chopping the skin off his chest as the USA chants start up. It’s off to the choking on the ropes, followed by the chinlock to continue the theme.

Conway gets two off a neckbreaker and it’s back to Grenier for the knees to the ribs to slow Benoit down. In a bit of a change of pace, Benoit gets tied in the ropes with Grenier putting on a full nelson like a Tarantula (that’s a new one). A posting in front of the fans shouting USA makes my head hurt and it’s back to the double teaming, which draws in Edge for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was another match that happened but the ending is likely to set up another title match down the line. La Resistance need to hold the titles for a little while, if nothing else just to get the division back towards some regular teams. Benoit and Edge were good with the big heel group to fight, but you can only do that for so long. At least the French guys are fine in their roles, and that’s better than random teams winning the titles.

Chris Benoit/Edge vs. Kane/La Resistance

Joined in progress with Conway chinlocking Edge for a bit and handing it off to Grenier for a chinlock with a knee in the back (see, totally different move). Edge finally suplexes his way to freedom and brings in Benoit to face Kane. The chokeslam attempt is broken up by a spear from Edge and there’s the Swan Dive to Kane. With Benoit holding his head, Kane sits up so the Crossface takes him down again. Edge fights the French guys on the floor, leaving Kane to power out of the Crossface. The chokeslam is good enough for the pin on Benoit.

Rating: D. Good to see the World Heavyweight Champion lose twice in one night, especially to people as on his level as Kane and La Resistance while HHH literally looks down on everyone else. This feels more like the Intercontinental Title feud than the World Title and it seems that everyone is ok with that. I’m sure another HHH title reign will fix everything though. The match was short but so much of it was spent in the chinlock, followed by Benoit losing again. It makes sense for Sunday’s booking, but this show has made us suffer enough so far.

Eugene vs. Johnny Nitro

Coach is on commentary and if Nitro loses, he’s fired. Johnny comes out to the old Nitro theme song, which still feels wrong on this show. Eugene twists both arms to start and wraps Nitro up in a bodyscissors to roll him around the ring. A dropkick to the back sends Nitro into the ropes, setting up a schoolboy for two. And now, we hit the Junkyard Dog impression, followed by the airplane spin. Eugene’s top rope ax handle is good for the pin, meaning even someone mentally challenged can beat Nitro. I’m sure there’s a joke in there somewhere. This was exactly how to use Eugene and so much better than last week.

Post match Coach wants to fight Eugene but falls off the announcers’ area.

Bad Blood rundown, including Victoria defending against Lita, Trish and Gail.

Lita is on the phone with Matt Hardy and tells him about getting the title shot. They hang up and here’s Kane, who says he got her into the title match. That way, they can both be champions after Bad Blood. See, Kane lied because it’s never over. Lawler: “Lita must smell delicious.”

Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Non-title. Shawn sends him outside to start but runs into a boot back inside. The slugout goes to Shawn but he makes the eternal mistake (in this company at least) and misses a charge into the post. Some forearms just annoy Shawn so he grabs a neckbreaker to put Orton in trouble again. With the match not going much of anywhere, JR goes into his traditionally bizarre discussion of the Cell having a mind of its own, saying it awaits the company coming to it soon.

Orton kicks him out of the air for two as the back and forth continues. He finally goes back to the arm that went into the post (it took long enough) and a flying armbar gets two. Shawn avoids a dropkick though and it’s off to the Figure Four, which JR calls mind games. Why he would play mind games with someone he’s not facing on Sunday isn’t clear, but we don’t have time to figure out every questionable thing on this show.

Orton makes the rope so Shawn stays on the leg before hitting him in the face using various methods. The second Figure Four attempt is broken up with Shawn being kicked into the post in a smart move. Shawn uses the good arm to clothesline him outside and there’s the dive to the floor, so HHH sends Batista down to ringside. Back from a break with Batista posting Shawn to bust him open pretty well.

That’s only good for two back inside and Shawn gets whipped into the corner for the upside down flip. Orton’s dropkick bangs up his knee again but he’s fine enough to cover for two anyway. The chinlock goes on as this match just hasn’t been long enough yet. Shawn fights up for the forearm into the nip up and it’s time for the big comeback. A running ax handle (Shawn must be a Eugene fan) sets up the top rope elbow but Batista comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was right between fine and boring, which makes for a bad combination when it lasts twenty minutes. It makes sense to keep either of them from taking a clean loss but you would think they could do a little better than Shawn’s random mind games with Flair and HHH sending minions after Michaels. Not too bad, but not very interesting.

Post match Shawn fights off Orton and Batista before going to the sky box to fight HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. If this was supposed to make me want to see Bad Blood, they’re worse off than I thought. There was no good wrestling, the angle advancement was rather questionable, Kane would still rather mess with Matt and Lita than try to be World Champion, and the best thing about the show was Trish being added to the Women’s Title match. This was one of the worst shows they’ve done in a long time, which actually feels overdue. You could tell things were getting worse, but this was where but started to fall apart. Bad show, and a worse build towards the pay per view.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

We open with a video about the seventeen years this show has run already.

Cruiserweight Title: Spike Dudley vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Kurt Angle, Carlito Caribbean Cool, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak

Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Rob Van Dam, Big Show

Maven (the first Tough Enough winner and on Team Orton tonight in the biggest match of his career) offers to demonstrate his skills to Coach but Snitsky jumps Maven and busts him open. This would be how they would keep Maven out of a PPV main event for most of the match when they realized that he was in WAY over his head.

Heidenreich vs. Undertaker

Heidenreich comes out in a straightjacket because he might attack more plants, as had been his custom in recent weeks. Undertaker does the big long entrance to get the crowd back into things. He stares at Heidenreich for a few moments before the beating begins. A charge in the corner runs into a Heidenreich elbow but the Dead Man will have none of this being on defense stuff. Undertaker works on the arm but a Heyman distraction lets Heidenreich crotch Undertaker to break up Old School. He crotches Undertaker against the post again and we head to the floor.

The chokeslam is broken up and Heidenreich gets two off a Boss Man Slam. Then like an idiot, Heidenreich punches away in the corner while Undertaker arms are down. The obvious Last Ride only gets two though as Heidenreich grabs the rope. Heidenreich tries a sleeper but Undertaker is like boy please and suplexes out of it almost immediately. The chokeslam and Tombstone finish this quick.

Bischoff says Maven is out of the main event and if he allows Orton to add a replacement, HHH will complain and Eric will lose his vacation, which is the point of the main event.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T

Batista and HHH are ready for the main event.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Edge, Batista, Gene Snitsky

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Original: B

Redo: B

Team Guerrero vs. Team Angle

Original: D

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Original: D

Redo: D

Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T

Original: F

Redo: D

Team Orton vs. Team HHH

Original: B-

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: B-

In a rare instance, I liked this a lot better the second time around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/13/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2004-eyebrows-huffman-main-events/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: June 3, 2004
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re less than a month away from Great American Bash and the show continues to look weaker and weaker every single night. The big story tonight seems to be Paul Heyman and the Dudley Boyz kidnapping Paul Bearer in their continued attempt to make an impact. Other than that, JBL gets to pick his stipulation for the pay per view. Reminder: your big villains are JBL and the Dudley Boyz. I think you know why this show is in trouble. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a video on James Dudley, who passed away at 94. Dudley was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 1994 and is probably best known as being a guy who was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 1994 and waving a towel during Bobo Brazil’s entrances.

We look back at last week with Heyman trying to fire up the Dudley Boyz, leading to them attacking Bearer.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Booker T. to open things up. He wants to make this clear: he had NOTHING to do with the abduction of Paul Bearer last week and nothing is going to stop him from taking care of the Undertaker tonight. He even has an idea who had Bearer attacked last week: the Undertaker! Booker thinks Undertaker had the Dudleys attack Bearer so he could have an excuse to skip out on the match with Booker tonight. He loads up the catchphrase but here’s John Cena to interrupt.

Cena isn’t happy with Booker almost costing him the US Title last week and they’re settling this right now. Apparently that was just business and Booker is just here to beat up Undertaker tonight. Booker doesn’t think much of Cena with the catchphrases and the hand signs because it’s clear that Cena is a Booker wannabe. Cena does his own impression of Booker, including the hand shaking (Cena: “Is it cold in here???”) and the weird face, which apparently has to do with Booker having an, ahem, accident.

This joke goes on WAY too long until Booker wants to be told that Cena didn’t say that. Kurt Angle comes out to say Cena has no respect and no class. It’s ok if he wants to insult Booker, but the main event is NOT being interrupted. Angle throws him out so Cena calls Luther Reigns lumpy. Booker jumps him from behind so the fight is on with Cena being thrown into Angle, who is still in the wheelchair. To make it even worse, Booker chairs Angle in the leg by mistake. Angle gets a mic and threatens to have Cena stripped of the title. Booker vs. Cena is only going to do Cena good at the moment, and maybe Booker will care.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Danny Basham

Non-title. Eddie grabs a headlock to start as the announcers try to tell us that Danny is one of the young, up and coming stars around here. A dropkick has Danny in trouble but he backdrops Eddie to the floor so Doug can get in a cheap shot. Ever the liar, Eddie fakes a chair shot from Doug and gets him ejected so it can be down to one on one. Danny is fine enough for a spinning belly to back for two and it’s off to a cravate.

Back up and some right hands to Eddie’s head just get on his nerves so he headscissors Danny down. The third Amigo is broken up and the ref gets bumped so Danny grabs the belt. That earns him a low blow and a belt shot to the head as Eddie lays down. Uh, since the referee didn’t see anything, why didn’t Eddie just hit the frog splash for the pin immediately? The splash hits and Danny is done a few seconds later.

Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t anything to see here but I do love seeing the top stars wrestle a match with someone that much lower than them. Danny got in a little offense here and it was a nice chance for him to showcase himself. Eddie wins a match that made him sweat a bit and Danny loses a match he had no business winning. Everything is fine.

Summerslam is coming to Toronto.

Here’s Mordecai for a prayer. He prays for the sinners and all of their families, who are no better than harlots who sell themselves on the city streets. The father has forgiven them but Mordecai will punish every one of them. Fire come out of the posts, which doesn’t go anywhere near as high as Kane’s. And we move on.

Miss Jackie shows off her other bikini (the one she didn’t show last week) to Rico and Charlie Haas. They’re impressed.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Classic vs. Funaki

Funaki is challenging and Chavo Jr. is on commentary to praise his dad. Some armdrags have the champ in trouble but a gutwrench suplex puts Funaki down. Chavo grabs the rope to avoid a dropkick but gets kicked in the head anyway. A shoulder to the ribs keeps Classic in trouble so Jr. shoves Funaki off the top to give his dad the pin. Same as last week and that’s fine.

Post match some women jump the barricade and mob Classic.

Post break Chavo Classic says he’s a sex symbol and that these women want some love from south of the border. Jr. leaves and Classic pays them off for their performances.

It’s time for the swimsuit contest with a bunch of beach themed stuff in the ring and Jamie Noble as host. We have Torrie Wilson, Miss Jackie, Dawn Marie and Sable, the latter of whom is making her big return. They all have twenty seconds to dance with one of the items and the fans get to pick the winner. Jamie tells Torrie to go first and she has to dance with the sandbox. She drops some sand over herself and Tazz almost loses his mind. Next up is Dawn with a beach chair, with Jamie having a seat.

Jamie rather approves of the half cousin of a lap dance and it’s Sable with a beach towel next. Sable wraps it around herself and reveals a one piece without doing much else. Finally we have Jackie with a bucket of water. She pours the water over herself and wins, though Torrie’s cheering sounded louder. Her reward is getting to kiss Jamie but he gets covered with water instead. Jamie is furious because his tuxedo is a rental. And yes, that’s the only payoff to the whole thing, though I’m shocked Rico didn’t come out in a thong or something.

We look at Heyman and the Dudleys from last week again.

Kenzo Suzuki is here next week.

Rene Dupree vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey goes after the knee to start and hammers away in the corner as Rene can’t keep up with him. A clothesline cuts Rey off and Rene drops a knee but the leg is hurting him. It’s hurting so badly that Mysterio is able to break up a superplex and hit a top rope seated senton. The 619 is broken up with the good knee to the ribs and there’s the French Tickler. Dupree’s powerbomb is loaded up but Rey reverses into a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: D+. Well so much for Dupree, who goes from main eventing the show in a title match last week to losing clean in about three minutes here. That’s not the best idea in the world when this show is dying for heels. I know Dupree isn’t the best in the world, but he’s something fresh and the effort has already been put in. But then again, it’s not like the rest of the show has done anything logical lately anyway.

Raw Rebound.

We recap the opening segment.

Here’s JBL, carrying a bullrope, to pick the stipulation for the match with Eddie at the Great American Bash. It’s a Texas Bullrope match, and somehow this announcement takes nearly seven minutes because JBL is that slow and dull, along with saying the same things about Eddie that he’s said for a month and a half.

We see the Dudleys kidnapping Bearer for the third time tonight.

Undertaker vs. Booker T.

Booker is smart enough to jump Undertaker as he takes four days to remove his gear. Now why does no one else get that? Undertaker throws him into the corner and starts slugging away, followed by the running elbow drop for two. Old School is broken up (I’m not sure if it was the cranking on the arm or Undertaker going to the corner) but Undertaker kicks him in the face for two instead.

The armbarring continues with Undertaker lifting him up by the arm for the real cranking. Old School is broken up again and Cole actually gets the story correct by saying Undertaker might be off without Bearer. Back from a break with Booker hitting a missile dropkick for two and then kicking him in the face again. The chinlock goes on and the side kick takes Undertaker down for a delayed two.

Undertaker is able to reverse a suplex into one of his own and the comeback is on. Booker slips out of the Last Ride but can’t do the same on the chokeslam. It’s Tombstone time but cue Paul Heyman to say Undertaker needs to worry about what could be happening to Bearer. The match ends here in a no contest and Booker isn’t seen again for the rest of the show.

Rating: C. A little slow (as you probably guessed) but Booker got in some offense and the ending wasn’t definitive with Booker still having the chance to survive. That’s a good sign considering what appears to be an interesting feud with Cena. It’s nice to see Booker actually doing something worthwhile for once and the match was better than the pay per view version.

Undertaker grabs him by the throat, only to have the Dudleys pop up on screen. Bearer is in a room behind them and if Undertaker doesn’t want Bearer to suffer, he better listen to Heyman. Undertaker lets go and Heyman says Undertaker can either join himself and the Dudleys, or Bearer gets it. He has a week to decide.

Overall Rating: D+. That’s a big upgrade for this show as while not great, it was nowhere near as bad as some of their previous efforts. There’s still no way around JBL and the Dudleys as the top heels, but at least they featured some other people a lot more this week. While that’s good, this show did reinforce one of the biggest problems with Smackdown: Booker T. isn’t the featured heel. I’m not saying Booker is the be all and end all star or anything close to it, but he’s much better than JBL at the moment. Anyway I’ll cut myself off there and continue hoping that Undertaker vs. the Dudleys is at least short.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 31, 2004
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re up north this time with a show that is likely to contain at least one Montreal Screwjob reference. Bad Blood is in less than two weeks and Chris Benoit is going to be defending against Kane. At the same time though, Kane has something going on with Lita, which we might get some more details on this week. It evens out though as Benoit will be defending the Tag Team Titles with Edge against La Resistance tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Memorial Day video with Vince narrating in the proudest voice I’ve heard from him in years.

We recap HHH vs. Shawn Michaels being set up for the Cell, again as the World Title is left in the midcard scene.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Chris Benoit/Edge

Benoit and Edge are defending. Lilian: “The first match on this special edition of Monday Night Raw is for the World Tag Team Titles!” That’s rather specific. The champs get a nice reaction but La Resistance gets a strong pop. Conway and Edge get things going with Edge grabbing the arm to take over and hand it off to Benoit. The champs keep taking turns chopping away in the corner until Conway gets a boot up to stop a charge.

Grenier comes in to a very nice reaction and it’s off to Edge’s arm for a bit. Even an armdrag gets a reaction as the announcers talk about Quebec being very different than anywhere else. An armbar goes on as Lawler becomes an advocate for the metric system. Edge clotheslines Grenier and makes the hot tag to Benoit, who puts the Sharpshooter on both Grenier and Conway. A save attempt earns Conway some rolling German suplexes but Benoit misses the Swan Dive.

This time it’s Edge making a save and the Crossface has Conway in trouble. Grenier makes a diving save to a big reaction (that’s still weird to see) and we take a break. Back with Grenier holding Benoit in a chinlock stomping away for bad measure. Benoit’s attempted enziguri hits Grenier’s shoulder and it’s Edge coming in to a pretty weak pop. His flying forearm and sitout gordbuster get slightly better reactions and everything breaks down. Edge spears Benoit by mistake and Au Revoir gives us new champions to an eruption.

Rating: C. There’s nothing wrong with this as Benoit and Edge were beating everyone in sight for the last few weeks and La Resistance beat them clean to a big reaction. It’s the right choice to go with it here as the fans wouldn’t have cared otherwise but it makes perfect sense to go with the title change in front of their home crowd. The match wasn’t half bad but the important part thing here is getting Benoit out of the tag scene when he has more important things to do.

The celebration heads into the crowd and is actually quite the moment.

Randy Orton doesn’t think Shelton Benjamin is in his league and couldn’t beat Orton on his best day. We see a clip of Benjamin pinning Orton last week in a tag match so Orton shouts about that being a fluke. Orton is getting awesome in this role.

William Regal is in Eric Bischoff’s office and praises him for the matches made tonight. Eugene comes in and Bischoff recaps his story so far. Bischoff is so impressed that Eugene can have another match tonight against a friend. Coach comes in but that’s not who Bischoff means. Actually Coach is going to have to apologize in public in the middle of the ring. Regal: “That’s one for the books isn’t it Eugene?” Eugene: “WWE Unscripted is a book.”

Here’s Coach in the ring for the apology but first he invites Eugene to join him. Eugene stumbles to the ring and Coach says he knows they don’t like each other. Coach insults him again before offering the handshake. That goes nowhere so Coach talks about all the friends Eugene has, like the Rock and Chris Benoit (Eugene imitates the headbutt). Even all the people here are his friends.

Post break Coach is still laughing in Bischoff’s office when Regal storms in with threats of violence. Bischoff threatens him right back with his firing and makes Eugene vs. Kane for tonight.

Victoria vs. Jazz

Non-title and Victoria is still dancing a lot. I have no issue watching Victoria dance, but it’s not exactly the kind of character you have as a long term champion. Jazz takes her down with ease and cranks on the neck. Back up and Victoria tries to drop down in front of her but gets elbowed in the back of the head for her efforts.

Some kicks in the corner are shrugged off so Victoria can hit the spinning middle rope crossbody for two of her own. Jazz is right back with an STF so Victoria has to slowly crawl to the ropes. A powerslam looks to set up the dancing moonsault but Jazz grabs a rollup with tights for two. Jazz tries a suplex but gets reversed into a suplex to give Victoria the pin.

Rating: D-. This was completely lifeless with nothing redeeming. The women’s division has died again as you have the one woman with the title and everyone else rotating in and out of title shots. There’s no story anywhere to be seen and it leaves everything and everyone feeling like a bunch of not very good filler.

Randy Orton vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title again and Orton has Batista in his corner. Benjamin takes him down with ease but Orton pounds away with forearms to the back. Back up and the pace quickens with Orton hitting a dropkick to stop a running Benjamin. A cheap shot from Batista lets Orton send him outside and that means the classic Orton pose, including Orton taking off the turnbuckle pad.

Before that can be used though, it’s a collision of the heads for a double knockdown with Orton being busted open just a bit. As the referee looks at Orton, Batista sends him head first into the exposed buckle. That’s only good for two and we take a break. Back with Orton holding a chinlock with an arm trap for a bonus. Shelton fights up but gets low bridged out to the floor as he just can’t get around the numbers game. This time Batista gets caught though and that’s an ejection.

Orton brings Shelton back in for a whip into the exposed buckle as Lawler is losing it over Orton bleeding. The chinlock goes on until the comeback starts with right hands and a backdrop. A powerslam gives Benjamin two with JR being perfect at making the big spots and near falls seem epic. Shelton rolls through a high crossbody for two more but Orton gets in his backbreaker for the same. Orton teases leaving and suckers Benjamin in for a right hand but walks into the exploder for the clean pin.

Rating: C. They did exactly what they were shooting for here but I’m not often a fan of having the singles match to set up the exact same match down the line. Shelton is getting a heck of a push but at some point he needs to win something that matters. The Intercontinental Title would be a great place to start, though I’d be a bit surprised if they actually took it off of Orton at the moment.

Stacy Keibler recaps the Diva Search concept and doesn’t do the division much good while explaining what a Diva does.

Here’s HHH for a chat. There won’t be a sneak attack this week because Shawn Michaels isn’t here tonight. That’s a shame too as if he was, HHH could put him away for good. Now he has to wait until Bad Blood in the match designed for the purpose of finishing this once and for all. HHH talks about how evil the Cell is and gives us a video on it, set to a cover of Time To Play The Game, which I’m pretty sure was used at Wrestlemania XVIII. Not bad. Certainly better than the nothing between Kane and Benoit.

Bad Blood rundown.

Bischoff tells Johnny Nitro to get Eugene.

Matt Hardy vs. Garrison Cade

Lita is here with Matt, who gets elbowed in the face to break up his early hammerlock. A hot shot gives Cade two and he starts in with the rights and lefts. The chinlock goes on as Lita starts playing cheerleader. It seems to work as Matt gets up and knocks Cade to the floor. That means a slingshot dive and a backdrop back inside, followed by the middle rope legdrop. The Twist of Fate finishes Cade.

Rating: D+. How weird is it to see a completely clean win in a match that isn’t a squash and only lasts a few minutes? Maybe it was expecting Kane to interrupt every few seconds but this was almost a weird one to watch. Cade has most of the tools that you need to be a perfectly acceptable wrestler, except the whole being named Garrison thing.

Smackdown Rebound.

Eugene comes in to see Bischoff, who tells him he knew what would happen with Kane earlier. It was just tough love you see, because Eugene doesn’t belong here. Eugene can prove him wrong tonight though, so he gives Bischoff a very sad hug. Bischoff just stares straight ahead, almost looking like he realizes what has to be done.

Clips of the European tour.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel but instead of Chris Jericho, it’s Trish Stratus and Tyson Tomko. Since Jericho is still injured, Trish will be hosting tonight. That means making a bunch of jokes about the French fans before we get to the highlight: Jericho being destroyed last week as Tomko put him through the announcers’ table. Trish wants to look at it again but here’s Jericho to beat up Tomko and put Trish in the Walls. Tomko makes a quick save and gorilla presses Jericho bad ribs first onto a chair. The chair is used to choke Jericho and Trish has a seat to make it even worse.

Kane stares at the camera without saying anything.

Kane vs. Eugene

Eugene ducks a few right hands to start and manages to take him down for one. That’s not cool with Kane, who blasts him with a clothesline so we can start down the expected path. A sunset flip doesn’t work either but Eugene does manage a drop toehold. Eugene’s top rope ax handle is uppercut out of the air and Kane gets three straight near falls.

Kane gets another two off a suplex and it’s time to choke. A headlock doesn’t help Eugene that much so Kane….chinlocks him. Eugene gets sent face first into the buckle to start the Hulk Up and slugs away, followed by a dropkick to put Kane on the floor. Kane throws in a chair and throws the referee down for the DQ as Eugene gets in a DDT on the chair.

Rating: F. Just a thought, but it might be a really bad idea to have the NUMBER ONE CONTENDER facing what is mostly a comedy character and not being able to pin him in a six minute match, eventually losing to him when the comedy guy lays him out at the end. Kane already has two stories going on and doesn’t need a third with less than two weeks to go before the title match. This wasn’t even that terrible of a match (it was really slow, but I’ve seen worse) but it was a really stupid way to go with Kane’s title shot, which has had almost no build so far, coming up.

Post match a furious Kane destroys Eugene but Benoit comes in before he can use the chair. The Crossface doesn’t work so Benoit grabs a chair to chase him off.

Overall Rating: C. This was far from a really bad show but you can tell that things have changed in a bad way after the last few weeks of great stuff. I don’t know if it’s Benoit turning into a glorified midcarder or WAY too much Kane and Eugene this week (you had to know it was coming as Eugene was getting over) but there was something missing here. It’s like they’ve lost the focus that was making the show work and that’s a bad sign.

Just a few weeks ago, you had Benoit and company vs. Evolution, who are the big bads around here. With Benoit shifting to Kane, it feels like he’s just being given something to do and that’s a big downgrade. Eugene is fun as a non-serious act but he was one of the big focal points here and that’s going to wear out his welcome in a hurry. The fans still like him, but that kind of an act doesn’t have a long shelf life overall and using so much of it in one night isn’t a good idea.

The problem they have isn’t likely to get better with next week as the go home show and I’m almost scared of what they’ll do after the pay per view is over. It’s still not bad and the show is more than watchable, but something is clearly missing and I think that’s going to get worse before it gets better. There’s about as much good as bad here, but the bad stuff here will make your head hurt.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 27, 2004
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in for another edition of the Eddie Guerrero Show this week and while that doesn’t sound like the worst concept in the world, it might be a little weaker when Eddie passed out to end last week’s show. In other words, expect more of JBL talking about how he should be champion and droning on for far too long. Oh and Booker T. looking bored out of his mind out there. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Eddie’s collapse last week.

Kurt Angle is in the back and says that Eddie Guerrero is allowed to be wrestle tonight, but EMT’s will be waiting for him to pass out again.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Dudley Boyz

Yes AGAIN. They really don’t have anything else they could be doing? Bubba shoves Rey down to start and seems annoyed at having to do so. Rey takes him down with a flying mare so Bubba tosses him into the other corner with ease. The armbar goes on so Rey climbs the ropes into a wristdrag to leave Bubba all confuzzled. Van Dam and D-Von come in, meaning it’s time for some kicks to the face and a standing moonsault. I’ll let you figure out who did what.

Rey comes back in with a springboard hurricanrana (which looked like it was supposed to be the seated senton but D-Von didn’t go down) but Bubba dives in and takes Rey’s knee out to break up the 619. The fans boo the heck out of that and here’s Paul Heyman through the crowd as we take a break. Back with Rey in trouble and Heyman sitting in the front row. Bubba misses a sitdown splash but it’s not bad enough for Rey to get over for the tag.

The Dudleys start taking turns on the leg but an enziguri gets Rey out of trouble. A springboard moonsault press drops D-Von so Bubba comes in for an elbow to keep Rey down. Since Van Dam isn’t into that whole helping your partner thing, Rey has to avoid a splash from D-Von and spinwheel kick Bubba to make the hot tag.

Van Dam starts in with the kicks and a top rope version gets two on D-Von. A Rolling Thunder/springboard legdrop combination gets the same with Bubba having to make a save. There’s the 619 to D-Von but Heyman jumps the barricade and breaks up the West Coast Pop. Bubba drops Rey onto the announcers’ table and D-Von steals the pin.

Rating: C. Long and watchable match here but I’m sick of seeing these teams fight. I’m not sure why the announcers acted like Heyman supporting the Dudleys was a big deal when he’s been doing that for weeks now but I don’t get a lot of what Smackdown does. I’m sure this makes Bubba and D-Von perfectly fine after all these losses, because fans want to see the Dudleys as major heels.

The Dudleys leave with Heyman.

Post break the Dudleys celebrate and let Heyman into their locker room. Heyman slaps D-Von and tries to do the same to Bubba but gets his arm grabbed. Why are they happy with just winning a match? Beating Eddie Guerrero didn’t get them a title shot or a pay per view main event. All they got was another win and that doesn’t get them anywhere. Tonight, they need to pick a victim and make an impact or he’ll have someone make an impact on them. Egads we’re really supposed to care about the Dudley Boys?

Cole brings out JBL for a chat. We look back at the chair shot at Judgment Day and Eddie collapsing later in the week so JBL could pin him. Cole mentions that some people don’t think that was very manly of JBL so we get the big tough guy voice to send Cole back to commentary. We hear the same JBL speech that he’s made for the last month and a half with shots at Eddie for not being a man. Last week Eddie was laying down so he didn’t have to take another beating.

What JBL is going to do to him next time will be nearly criminal but let’s stop to yell at the fans for chanting EDDIE. See, at Judgment Day, Eddie got disqualified because he knew he was beat. The beating will be even better at the Great American Bash because it’s JBL’s rules. This was way too long with JBL saying the same stuff he’s always said and droning on about how great he is. In other words: everything that has been wrong with him since this run started.

Compare him to Ted DiBiase for a minute. Above all else, DiBiase played it so much more over the top instead of serious. When JBL talks about having a stock portfolio and a business radio show, it feels too real. DiBiase never really explained where his money came from (and he certainly didn’t say it over and over week after week). He was just the rich guy who never ran out of money and did whatever he wanted because that’s what he did. You didn’t need an explanation of why he was who he is. The character spoke for itself and he did ridiculous things to show off his wealth (the laugh alone was a good chunk of it).

With JBL, it’s a guy who has money and brags about it, but he does it so boringly that it’s not something I care to see. It also doesn’t help that he spent all those years as a bar fighter and now he’s supposed to be something totally different. It’s not working and you can feel the energy go out of the room when he starts talking. I don’t really want to see him lose because I don’t like him. I want to see him lose so he’s not featured anymore. Those are two very different things and one of them isn’t good.

Booker T. vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Scotty sends him into the corner a few times to start but gets kicked in the face. Booker shrugs off a comeback attempt and finishes with the ax kick in a hurry.

Post match Booker says he wants another shot at the Undertaker next week. The lights go out and come back up blue, followed by lightning hitting the posts. Booker: “Alright. So you are a little scary.” Next week, he’ll shock the world.

Mordecai promises to make sinners pay for their sins. His crusade has just begun.

Danny Basham vs. Eddie Guerrero

Non-title with EMT’s on standby, until Eddie breaks the stretcher and sends them away because he doesn’t need that. The Bashams are cleared out but here’s Angle to say he’s legally responsible for everyone here. Eddie was going to fake another injury and then sue Smackdown, so he’s off until he signs a release saying Angle and Smackdown aren’t at fault. Danny tries a cheap shot and gets sent outside again. No match.

Torrie Wilson/Spike Dudley vs. Jamie Noble/Dawn Marie

I wonder if there will be any mention of Torrie sleeping with both of her opponents. Noble is in trunks for a change. The guys start things off with Spike working on the arm but Jamie sends him throat first into the ropes. A glare sends Torrie out to the floor so Spike headbutts Jamie in the ribs. It’s off to the women and the wolf whistles begin. Torrie dropkicks her down for two so Jamie gets in a knee to the back to cut her off.

An X Factor gives Dawn two and the chinlock goes on. Torrie’s jawbreaker allows the hot tag to Spike and a top rope double stomp gets two on Jamie. Everything breaks down and Jamie goes after Torrie, allowing Spike to hit the Dudley Dog on Jamie, dropping her onto Dawn for the pin.

Rating: D+. This….wasn’t horrible. Maybe it was limiting the women’s interactions or just a harder effort but that’s one of the better of these matches I’ve seen in a good while. The wrestling was passable as Jamie and Spike are usually good for at least a decent match and with Torrie and Dawn only in there for a few minutes, it wasn’t the worst in the world.

Kenzo Suzuki is still coming. Get here already so you can leave.

Rico and Charlie Haas preview Jackie Gayda’s bikini for next week’s contest, though we only see part of it. Charlie almost drools but Rico criticizes the look, telling her to go try on the other one. As she goes to change, Rico shows off his rather revealing gear of his own. Haas is disgusted….because it doesn’t compliment the complexion of his skin. Rico goes to try on his other one and Charlie tries to figure out what he’s doing.

John Cena comes in to see Angle, who isn’t happy about a meeting Cena had with the board of directors. The gist of the whole thing: the military can see the Great American Bash for free and Cena beat Angle to the idea. Angle yells at him for a bonus because he’s waited months for Cena to lose that title. He’ll even cheer for a Frenchman from ringside tonight.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. goes into Chavo Classic’s office but gets yelled at for not knocking. Classic wants Jr. to introduce him.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Classic vs. Akio

Akio is challenging and Jr. has to introduce his dad, who comes out in an old school robe. During Akio’s entrance, we see Mordecai destroying him last week. And you wonder why they’re relying on Jacqueline and Chavo Guerrero Sr. instead of their young stars. Classic takes him down and drives an elbow into the face but Akio speeds things up with a leg lariat.

His neck is too damages to follow up but he’s finally fine enough for a corkscrew moonsault. Jr. grabs the referee though, allowing Classic to kick out after a delayed two. Classic sends Akio outside and distracts the referee as well, allowing Chavo to hit a tornado DDT on the floor so Classic can retain the title.

Post match the Chavos argue over the belt a bit.

Raw Rebound.

The Dudleys kidnap someone named Paul and slam the trunk of a car on his ankle. We can’t see who it is but they throw him in the trunk and drive away. The Urn is left in the parking lot and Heyman picks it up. Cole: “The Dudleys kidnapped Paul Bearer!” Cole is really good at stating the obvious.

US Title: John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Cena is defending in a lumberjack match with Angle watching on a platform draped with American flags. A rollup gives Cena a very early two and it’s already a standoff. Dupree takes him down by the waist as the fans start the required USA chant. That drives Cena to grab a hammerlock, which goes nowhere. Instead it’s a hard shoulder so Dupree thinks about rolling outside but thinks better of the idea.

We come back with Dupree cranking on the neck and driving an elbow into it for two. More neck cranking fires Cena up so it’s a running clothesline to cut him back down. Cena’s next comeback is cut off by Booker T. pulling the top rope down so the next beating can ensue. Dupree adds a backbreaker and a middle rope elbow for two. Cena gets sent outside again and this time it’s Booker getting in some extra shots to give Rene two. A spinebuster sets up the French Tickler but Cena backdrops out of a powerbomb. Right hands have Dupree in trouble and Booker screaming NO. The FU retains the title.

Rating: C+. It’s not as good as their previous matches but at least they had the good ending that made things a little bit better. Cena finishes off his first feud with a win and the fans are very pleased with the victory. Dupree has been an actual surprise during this feud as you would have expected him to be a one off victory for Cena but he held up his own end of the feud, which is something you can always use.

The good guys put Cena on their shoulders in a pretty big overreaction to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I’d hesitate to say that this show was better but it was at least less bad. The JBL involvement was limited to a single promo and while the Dudleys going after Undertaker makes you say “seriously?”, they had a good opening match and the rest of the stuff was pretty quick. They still need better heels, but focusing on Cena for a week was a nice change of pace as the Eddie vs. JBL feud isn’t doing anyone any favors. Not a terrible show, but it was better than recent weeks. Granted, that’s not the highest hurdle to clear.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 24, 2004
Location: Metro Centre, Rockford, Illinois
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Bad Blood and we now have a World Title match. Last week saw Kane win a battle royal to become the new #1 contender to Chris Benoit’s World Title, but you know full well that won’t be the show’s biggest match. In the same battle royal, Shawn Michaels interfered to cost HHH his title shot. I think you know where this is going. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of everything I just said.

Eric Bischoff is in HHH’s locker room where HHH demands that Shawn be reinstated. Bischoff has already done that and announces the match between HHH and Shawn at Bad Blood. That’s fine with Shawn, who can have anything he wants. Bischoff leaves and HHH yells at Evolution, saying he wants some unity tonight.

Ric Flair vs. Edge

Orton is here with Flair, who starts with some strutting. They take turns hitting each other in the corner until Edge takes over with a backdrop. Flair gets sent to the floor and begs off back inside, only to get clotheslined down. Some right hands take Edge down and the knee drop gets two. Edge is right back up with some shots to the jaw and another backdrop but Flair pokes the eye. Even a blind Edge is able to knock him out of the air but Orton gets in a cheap shot to give Flair two. Cue Shelton Benjamin to take care of Orton, leaving Edge to spear Flair for the pin.

Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t much here but it gives us another step forward in Benjamin vs. Orton, which almost has to be the title match at Bad Blood. The perk of having a group like Evolution is you can throw a variety of people at them, including Edge and Shelton, both of whom are getting a nice rub as a result.

HHH and Batista are waiting on Shawn.

Earlier today, Vince McMahon had a bunch of women behind him to announce a reality show called the $250,000 Raw Diva Search. Have fun meeting the new generation that brought the women’s division down to new depths.

We look back at last week when Lita said yes to Kane.

Matt tries to find out what Lita was saying yes to but she still won’t say. They haven’t talked all week and he’s been worried about her. She’s been thinking about him and realizes she loves him. They kiss, and she wants to show him how much she loves him. Lita goes into her locker room to get her bag and finds (in addition to a camera waiting) Kane. Apparently something has happened between them but Kane said it was over. He says it is indeed over, allowing Lita to leave, without telling Matt what happened.

HHH and Batista go to beat up….Steven Richards as he arrives by mistake. Batista is sent to check on the rest of Evolution and HHH kicks Richards one more time to let off some steam.

La Resistance vs. Rosey/Hurricane

During the entrances, we’re told that Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young will be on the Tonight Show. I NEED to see this….I think. Rosey throws Conway to the floor to start and it’s off to Hurricane for a middle rope legdrop. Hurricane picks up the pace but gets low bridged out to the floor so the French beatdown can begin.

Conway works on an ankle twist until an enziguri gets Hurricane out of trouble. That’s enough for the hot tag to Rosey, who hits a running spinning legdrop on Grenier. Rosey rolls underneath a double clothesline (which you don’t see very often) and hits one of his own, allowing Hurricane to hit a high crossbody for two. The Shining Wizard misses though and Grenier gets in a cheap shot, setting up a rollup to finish Hurricane.

Rating: D+. Nothing wrong with a short match to get La Resistance over. Benoit and Edge need some regular teams to face and La Resistance, especially with Conway doing most of the work, is a perfectly fine choice. The match was short enough to not be too bad, though Hurricane and Rosey don’t have the same charm without their funny vignettes.

HHH is still waiting when Shawn pops up for the fight. Referees and security eventually break it up, though after both guys get in a few more shots.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel and Jericho is proud of himself for getting rid of Christian. The sexy beast is hot and so is his guest tonight. That would be Randy Orton, who is on fire right now. Orton comes out and Jericho praises him for holding the Intercontinental Title longer than anyone in the last seven years. Jericho lists off the names that Orton has killed, including Steve Austin, before moving on to Shelton Benjamin. That doesn’t do anything for Orton, because Benjamin is NOT getting a title shot.

That makes the next question obvious: why is Orton scared of Shelton? Orton doesn’t like that and it’s made even worse when Jericho cuts him off. Jericho says Shelton beat HHH and since HHH is a legend, Orton must want to face him. That’s too much for Orton, who wants to put Jericho on his list. The fight is on but Batista runs in. Cue Shelton for the save and I think you know where this is going, with Bischoff coming out to make the tag match.

Chris Jericho/Shelton Benjamin vs. Batista/Randy Orton

Joined in progress with Jericho headlocking Orton down and then turning it into a bow and arrow hold. Back up and a clothesline keeps Orton in trouble, which is made even worse by a tag to Shelton. Batista comes in as well and Shelton looks a bit nervous. Batista grabs him by the throat so Shelton kicks at the leg. That just earns him a heck of a clothesline and it’s Evolution taking over.

A neckbreaker gets Shelton out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Jericho to speed things up. The Walls are broken up so Jericho settles for a springboard dropkick to knock Batista off the apron. Now the Walls can go on but Batista makes the save, only to have Jericho dive onto both of them on the floor as we take a break. Back with Jericho in trouble, because that’s how WWE returns from commercials. Trish Stratus jumps in on commentary as Orton starts working on the arm.

Batista gets in his own arm cranking as Lawler keeps drooling over Trish. A crank of the arm cuts off Jericho’s comeback and it’s off to a shortarm scissors. Benjamin gets drawn in like a moron, allowing Batista to come in for a cross armbreaker. Jericho finally fights up and hits a springboard dropkick to drop Orton, setting up the hot tag to Benjamin.

House is cleaned as everything breaks down with a sunset flip getting two on Batista. That’s not cool with him though, so a hard clothesline takes Benjamin’s head off. Orton comes in and gets rammed into Batista for two off a rollup, followed by a powerslam for the same. Jericho cuts Batista off and it’s the exploder suplex to put Orton away.

Rating: B. Like I mentioned earlier, WWE can get miles out of this Evolution vs. everyone feud because they can do matches like this for months. Benjamin pinning Orton should be the logical way to set up the title match, which is the logical path for him after all those wins over HHH. Good match here, which is becoming commonplace on this show in this spot.

Post match Trish yells at Jericho, allowing Tyson Tomko to run Jericho over. Tomko powerbombs him through the announcers’ table for a bonus.

Here’s Kane to talk about how he’s envious of Chris Benoit for a variety of reasons. He wants to be the World Heavyweight Champion and live his dream life instead of a life of nightmares. That all changes at Bad Blood because he always gets what he wants.

Shawn is in Bischoff’s office, demanding that the match be the way he wants it. Bischoff agrees and here’s HHH to jump Shawn. Security finally breaks it up again.

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Non-title and Gail Kim is here with Molly. Victoria spends a lot of time dancing on the way to the ring, which isn’t the worst thing in the world for a variety of reasons. Molly wastes no time in sending her to the apron where Gail pulls Victoria face first onto the apron. Back in and Molly grabs a double fish hook as the announcers talk about the Diva Search. A reverse cravate goes on and Victoria stays in trouble. There’s a running flip neckbreaker for a slightly delayed two but Victoria grabs a backslide for the same. Gail gets knocked off the apron and the Widow’s Peak finishes Molly in a hurry.

Rating: D. The women’s division is a mess right now as Victoria has cleaned the whole thing out, aside from Trish. The other problem is the talent isn’t exactly being treated as anything special. Is there really any reason for these two to be fight other than what happened two months ago at Wrestlemania? We need something a little better than that.

Post match Gail jumps Victoria and is quickly taken down by a Widow’s Peak of her own.

Smackdown Rebound.

Bischoff tells Johnny Nitro to round up the roster to act as security tonight.

Post break, Bischoff gives the locker room a speech about getting control back. If they don’t help, they’re all fired. Chris Benoit should not be in the same crowd as Val Venis and Hurricane.

We look back at the Rock/Eugene/Coach segment from last week. Still awesome.

Eugene is running around like a plane as William Regal is starting to warm up to him. When asked about Rock, Eugene goes into IF YA SMELL and Regal seems proud. They’re teaming tonight but Nitro comes in to say Regal isn’t cleared and can’t wrestle tonight. That’s too far for Regal, but the threat of Bischoff means it’s going to be a handicap match, unless Eugene can find a partner. Regal gives him a brief pep talk and the tag match is next.

Jonathan Coachman/Garrison Cade vs. Eugene/???

Eugene needs a partner for THESE TWO? He has one anyway and it’s….Chris Benoit. Egads they’re attaching a rocket to Eugene and it’s kind of awesome. The shocked face on Coach and the elation from Eugene make this even better. Eugene grabs the titles and starts running around so Coach trips him, which isn’t cool with Benoit. The early chopping has Cade in trouble and there’s the snap suplex. Eugene comes in and takes Cade down with a headlock without even taking the jacket off.

Cade hits Coach by mistake so we’ll go with a crisscross, setting up “HEY! WHAT’S THAT?” and a chop to Cade’s head ala Chief Jay Strongbow. It’s back to Benoit, who gets chopped and clotheslined in the corner by Cade. Coach comes in and Lawler knows it’s not going to end well. Everything breaks down and it’s an airplane spin to Cade. Benoit rolls some German suplexes on Coach and drops the Swan Dive. Eugene gets to hit one of his own for the pin and another big reaction.

Rating: C. There’s something so easy to cheer for about someone who has no business being here but succeeds anyway. Eugene is such a ridiculous concept but WWE has turned it into one of the most well done concepts they’ve had in a long time. This was especially strange to see if you watched Eugene in OVW, where he was basically a Benoit clone, down to using the rolling German suplexes and Crossface as his finishers.

Shawn and HHH are at it again. Good grief get a ring already.

Here’s HHH for the big showdown to end the show. He wastes no time in calling Shawn out so the fight is on. Shawn gets the better of it but has to deal with Evolution. Benoit and Edge come take care of the extras so here are some goons to try and break it up. Shawn gets in the dive onto the pile so more guys come out and finally separate them. Bischoff makes the big announcement of Hell in a Cell at Bad Blood. More brawling ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I’m having flashbacks to being a huge Eugene fan back in the day and it’s helping to fuel this string of very good shows. They’re building up new and actually interesting characters instead of slapping an ugly coat of paint on someone who wasn’t that great in the first place. It’s no surprise that Raw is smashing Smackdown every single week right now and why I’m really enjoying these shows week after week. Good stuff here, assuming you ignore the World Champion being treated like an upper midcard act with a non-existent feud with Kane for the pay per view. Fix that and the show is that much better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 20, 2004
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Here are Sunday’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Eddie, in what looks to be a card from the 1930s, though of course with hydraulics included. He’s also got a duffle bag for a bonus. The fans are very glad to see him and…..OH MY GOODNESS THAT’S THE CUT ON HIS HEAD!!! I thought that was his hair being out of place because that’s the longest cut I’ve ever seen on a wrestler. Or on almost anyone for that matter.

Eddie says he was hurt on Sunday but he’s feeling better now that he’s in Las Vegas. JBL may have taken his blood on Sunday but Eddie is still WWE Champion. He’s also got a souvenir in the bag and it’s JBL’s cowboy hat, which is covered in his blood. Since that’s his blood, Eddie figures it’s not his hat and he can do whatever he wants with it. Eddie even has a stock tip for JBL. He should invest in bandages because tonight, they’re having a fight and it’s JBL’s turn to bleed.

Cue JBL, who is bandaged up as well. JBL makes sure he has it clear: he can have another title match tonight? Eddie: “Did you get too much blood in your ear holmes?” JBL says no and brags about winning on Sunday, so fighting Eddie again tonight is an unnecessary gamble. He didn’t become a millionaire by gambling because that’s how lazy people look for a quick buck.

Instead, Eddie needs to come down the aisle and hand over that WWE Championship. Eddie says he’ll hand JBL a beating but here’s Kurt Angle to cut them off. Kurt: “Well it’s official. Everybody has lost their minds.” Eddie isn’t allowed to make matches around here and he’s certainly not getting a rematch with JBL because he just wants to get himself disqualified again. JBL isn’t getting the title either, but tonight we’ll have JBL and the Dudleys vs. Eddie, Rey Mysterio and Rob Van Dam in a six man tag.

Rico/Charlie Haas vs. FBI

Non-title and it’s Nunzio/Johnny Stamboli for the Italians. Rico is the hometown boy and Jackie is….well my goodness and we’ll leave it at that. Charlie and Johnny start things off and Rico offers a quick spank from the apron. Apparently not a fan, Johnny press slams him but gets rolled up for two instead. Rico comes in legally and takes Johnny down into an armbar, complete with a little wiggling. It’s off to Nunzio, who comes in and gets spanked for his efforts.

Rico does it again so Nunzio takes him down and rams Rico’s head into the mat a few times. The FBI manages to screw up their advantage as Johnny can’t hit a clothesline even while Nunzio has Rico’s foot. Instead it’s the hot tag to Charlie to start cleaning house. Jackie grabs Nunzio’s foot so he tries to kiss her but gets Rico instead. In his search for mouthwash, Nunzio gets German suplexed for the pin.

Rating: D. It takes a lot to have Rico and Charlie seem lifeless but the FBI pulled it off. This wasn’t interesting or fun and you can tell the team is starting to run out of gas. That being said, there was no reason to believe Rico and Haas were going to be around for very long so you can probably bet on them losing the titles soon. This was pretty bad, though maybe it was just the FBI.

Stills of Chavo Guerrero Jr. regaining the Cruiserweight Title.

Tonight, Chavo defends the Cruiserweight Title against Spike Dudley and his father. Chavo Classic says he might win but Chavo doesn’t want to hear it because this is his time. So tell me: why couldn’t Spike have done the exact same story that Jacqueline did? How is it that much different?

Billy Kidman vs. Akio

The bell rings but here’s Mordecai, with the full entrance, to wreck them both instead. Fair enough, as the match didn’t exactly sound thrilling.

JBL gets his head examined and tells the doctor to not believe anything Eddie tells him. Wouldn’t that likely be the same doctor who stitched Eddie up in the first place? Eh just give him a z-pak and he’ll be fine.

US Title: Rene Dupree vs. John Cena

Cena is defending in a rematch from Sunday where he beat Dupree. They lock up to start with Cena throwing him off and Rene isn’t sure what to do. A shoulder works a bit better for Dupree but Cena is right back up with a slam for two. Cena slaps on a rare chinlock before stereo crossbodies put both guys down.

Back from a break with Cena going shoulder first into the post and falling to the floor. Dupree starts in on the shoulder and takes him down by the arm for two. The Fujiwara armbar goes on and it’s a long crawl for Cena to make the ropes. A regular armbar keeps the arm in trouble but Cena fights up with some backdrops.

Cena uses the good arm to pound away at Dupree’s face and they fight to the floor. Dupree can’t powerbomb him on the floor so Cena hits another backdrop and heads back inside. They go back out almost immediately (pick something already) and Dupree grabs the French flag. Cena takes it away and breaks it over his knee but Dupree kicks him low and wins via countout.

Rating: D+. It was worse than their pay per view match and that’s not a good sign given the extra time. There wasn’t the same level of efforts here and that showed badly this time around. I’m still not sure how many people buy Dupree as a challenger to the title but it’s not like Cena has anyone else to fight. I mean, Booker T. is busy jobbing to Undertaker, so who else is there already on that level?

Post match Dupree lays him out again and busts out the French Tickler, which is a great name for such an obnoxious dance.

We see/hear the chair shot to Eddie’s head on Sunday. Thankfully we don’t see the crazy gory blade job up close again.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Chavo Classic vs. Spike Dudley

Chavo Jr. is defending. Spike gets double teamed to start, which even the announcers knew was coming. Classic gets sent outside though and Spike stomps away in the corner. The double teaming picks up again though until Jr. is fine enough to look at the crowd while his dad does the work. Classic tries a rollup on Spike for two but Jr. misses a splash in the corner. A high crossbody takes down both Guerreros and there’s the Dudley Dog to Jr. Classic comes back in and collides with Spike though, only to call on Jr. to win the title.

Rating: D. Nothing match of course and the “shock value” of the ending doesn’t exactly earn them a lot of points. The title takes another hit here as it goes into its fourth reign in two weeks, all in the name of “comedy”. It would have been easier to accept this without the Jacqueline reign but two joke wins in two weeks is too much to take.

Jr. is rightfully furious at his dad, who is too busy celebrating.

Raw ReBound of another good show.

Funaki interviews Booker T., who doesn’t want to hear this nonsense about being afraid of Undertaker. See, Undertaker cheated at Judgment Day because Paul Bearer must have switched the magic bag. Since Undertaker isn’t here tonight, Booker can have any match he wants. Maybe the WWE Title? Or the US Title? Nah he’ll beat up Funaki instead, so Funaki punches him and runs off.

Booker T. vs. Funaki

Booker pounds away to start so Funaki dropkicks the knee out to set up a bulldog. That just earns him a superkick as Booker isn’t having any of this tonight. The fans chant for Undertaker as Booker scores with a side slam, only to run into a boot in the corner. Another shot to the face busts Funaki’s nose open and we hit the chinlock. Booker gets bored with that and finishes with the ax kick.

Rating: D-. Was there any reason for this match to go on this long? The match was pretty much a squash and went on for the better part of five minutes. I mean….it’s Funaki, who is barely even a wrestler anymore. It also doesn’t help that Booker looks bored out of his mind at the moment, but if this is the best they have for him, is it that surprising?

Next week: Cena vs. Dupree for the title in a lumberjack match.

JBL has attacked Eddie, who is unconscious.

Kenzo Suzuki is still coming.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Dudley Boyz vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio/Rob Van Dam

There’s no Eddie to start, likely because he’s still recovering from losing that much blood. Here’s Angle to say Eddie can’t wrestle and since Angle can win a gold medal with a BROKEN FREAKIN NECK, Eddie can join in on the match when he gets up from his siesta. D-Von and Rey start but Bubba comes in and jumps him from behind, which is the same as a tag it seems.

JBL comes in and stomps away but Rey kicks at the legs and then the face to build some momentum. The sitout bulldog drops D-Von and it’s off to D-Von, who gets taken down by a JBL neck snap across the ropes. Some swinging neckbreakers keep Rob in trouble as the fans think Bradshaw sucks. The slow paced beatdown continues with JBL hitting a shoulder and elbow drop for two. Rob gets in a springboard kick to the face and there’s the hot tag to Rey.

A headscissors into a dropkick lets Rey Drop the Dime for two as everything breaks down. Van Dam flip dives onto both Dudleys and Rey hurricanranas JBL into the 619. The Five Star connects but Ray pulls Mysterio out as we take a break. Back with Mysterio in trouble thanks to a 3D on the floor to Van Dam. Rey hits a springboard into a reverse DDT but Bubba goes over to Rey’s corner in a clever idea.

D-Von hits a delayed vertical suplex (he’s stronger than you might think) and it’s back to JBL for more of that great offense. The abdominal stretch goes on but here’s Eddie, who can barely walk down the aisle. Eddie is so livid that he stands on the apron while JBL is smart enough to not let go of the hold. Of all people, JBL is smart enough to figure that out?

Rey gets in a dropkick but Bubba isn’t about to allow the hot tag. A little too much trash talk allows Rey to get his feet up in the corner and there’s the tag to Eddie. Right hands and Three Amigos have the Dudleys down but Eddie collapses. His eyes are open as everyone stops doing anything, so JBL again gets smart by stealing the pin.

Rating: C+. Well we certainly know the power of the 3D on the floor as Van Dam disappeared after taking it. The ending was fine enough as Eddie keeps fighting but is trying to do too much and collapsing under the pressure as his body gives out. The others are just kind of there, as you could put the titles on the Dudleys but who are supposed to challenge them? The lack of star power is killing this show and it’s becoming more obvious every week.

Medics check on Eddie to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The main event was ok but my goodness the rest of the show is such a disaster. The wrestling is uninspired, the stories aren’t interesting and the new stars aren’t exactly clicking (What does it say when Rene Dupree is one of the top prospects?). It’s just a dark time for the show and it seems to be getting even worse as the weeks go by. Eddie is doing as much as he can to carry this show on his back and it’s clearly not working. That’s not on Eddie, who can only do so much with so little around him.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6