IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 17, 2004
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 5,600
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re less than a month away from Bad Blood and we need a card. That can get started tonight with the naming of a new #1 contender, who will be crowned in a battle royal. The winner gets a shot at Chris Benoit and while HHH seems very interested in winning, Shawn Michaels is likely to be lurking around. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Fallout from Trish being horrible to Lita last week and pretending Kane was coming. Trish feigns an apology and gets punched in the face several times. A missed charge lets Trish take her down by the hair but is back with right hands and a headscissors. Trish hot shots her down and chokes a bit, though does stop to sneer at the referee. The announcers debate Trish’s levels of wholesomeness as the Chick Kick is blocked into a rollup for two.

Lita fights out of a chinlock but gets spinebustered back down into the same hold. That earns Trish some suplexes (Lita isn’t a chinlock fan) and a reverse Twist of Fate but here’s Kane on the screen. A few mentions of her name are enough for Trish to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. The always stupid ending didn’t help things but they were trying for the most part. These two work well together and feel like the biggest match in the division, but they haven’t hit the level you would be expecting from two legends like them. That being said, compare it to Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie from the previous night and you get some more of the praise.

Post match Kane says he wants Lita’s yes or no tonight.

Here’s Randy Orton for a chat. He beat Mick Foley twice and then last week he beat Edge. Tonight, he’s going to beat Benoit and Edge to become a double champion. However, tonight is all about Evolution and HHH, because HHH is winning the battle royal with Orton’s help. Orton says there is no stopping Evolution and HHH but here’s Shelton Benjamin to disagree (With his music saying there’s actually no stopping him rather than Evolution. I guess he thought Orton was confused.).

How can HHH be the best when Benjamin has beaten him twice? Orton says it was luck and one day, luck would run out. Shelton is no match for either himself or HHH but Shelton doesn’t see it that way. The challenge is thrown out but Orton says no, because he’s not soiling the title by defending it against the likes of him. Shelton beats him up for a few seconds until Ric Flair comes down and gets Orton out.

William Regal is congratulating Eugene on his win last week when Eugene steals his nose. Regal: “Very good now can I have it back?” Eugene wants another match when Eric Bischoff comes up to talk to Regal. As Eugene plays with whatever he can find in a bucket (including two bowling pins and a fire extinguisher), Regal apologizes for not having Eugene lose last week. Bischoff has an idea for Eugene tonight and all Regal has to do is make sure he’s at ringside for an interview alone. Regal seems interested, though also concerned

We look back at Shawn Michaels attacking HHH last week and getting suspended. I’m sure that’s going to stick.

Kane vs. Val Venis

Val slugs away to start but can’t get a Russian legsweep. Kane misses an elbow but hits a big boot into a chokeslam for the pin in a hurry.

Post match Matt Hardy runs in and goes off on Kane but gets kicked in the face when trying a chair shot. That means another chokeslam and Kane ties him in the Tree of Woe for some choking with a cord. Kane wraps the chair around Matt’s throat and stands on it instead of stomping but Lita runs out for the save. She says yes, even though we don’t know the question yet. Kane puts his arms around her and whispers something in her ear before leaving with a smile.

There was a voter registration drive earlier today.

Tag Team Titles: Edge/Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton/Batista

Orton and Batista are challenging and have Flair with him. Edge’s headlock doesn’t get him very far on Orton so he tries it again. Some forearms work a bit better and Orton is taken into the corner so Benoit can slug away as well. Orton does the same thing to Benoit though and it’s off to Batista so the big man can take over. Some forearms and chops get Benoit out of trouble and Edge comes back in for the chinlock. Everything breaks down in a hurry and the champs clear the ring as we take a break.

Back with Orton cranking on an armbar and Batista coming in to take his place. A hard clothesline gives Batista two, followed by Orton slapping on another armbar. Edge fights up and forearms away with the good arm (smart man), followed by the Edge-O-Matic for two. It’s finally off to Benoit to pick up the pace a good bit, including a snap suplex to Orton. A backbreaker gets two but Benoit turns his back on Orton to slug it out with Batista.

Everything breaks down as Benoit tries to get the Sharpshooter and Orton is sent into Batista. The referee gets bumped and Batista gets sent outside, leaving Orton to take the rolling German suplexes. Flair sends in the Intercontinental Title to block the Swan Dive for a close two and Orton gets in a great shocked look. Edge is back up and spears Orton into Flair off the apron, setting up the Crossface to make Orton tap to retain the titles.

Rating: B. We’re almost getting to a Smackdown Six (or whatever number it is) kind of situation around here with one very good tag match after around. It’s so refreshing to have a 15-20 minute match almost guaranteed to be very entertaining on a weekly basis. Good wrestling can solve a lot of your problems and that’s what’s happening here.

Regal gives Eugene some last second pointers about projecting his voice. Eugene: “Do re mi fa sol la Tito Santana!” I love this guy! Regal isn’t going out there with him and tells Eugene he has to be a man. Eugene: “Are you trying to tell me something?” Regal almost spills the beans about Bischoff but controls himself, albeit while looking disgusted with himself.

Here’s Eugene (to a very nice reaction) for the interview with Todd Grisham (Looking even more toolish than usual this week. Get a suit boy.) but Coach cuts them off. Coach is going to be handling the interview and won’t let Eugene get an answer in. He talks about people laughing at him last week and Eugene is sad. These people like making fun of him like they’re booing him right now. He even smells bad!

No one here is Eugene’s friend and he’s probably never even had a girlfriend either. Now Eugene needs to get out of the ring and go back to wherever he came from and tell his friends that he’s a failure. Oh hang on, because he doesn’t have any friends. A very sad Eugene goes to leave….and here’s the Rock.

Coach panics as Rock poses and then says Eugene isn’t going anywhere. But what if he wants a hot pretzel? After FINALLY, Rock wants to know how Coach can talk about the people. There’s only one man who knows the people and he thinks the people like Eugene. Eugene greatly approves when they chant his name so Rock has them do it again. Now, Coach will never be Eugene’s friend but Rock would love to be friends.

That confuses Rock, but apparently HHH and Eugene both like to play games. Rock isn’t happy with that because HHH only likes to play Hide The Strudel. Rock: “Lilian you know about that right?” Maybe we could play a game right here and the object is for Eugene to beat Coach up.

Garrison Cade of all people runs in and gets punched all the way out of the deep water that is way over his head. The Rock Bottom sets up a People’s Elbow from Eugene to really hammer this home. Eugene even gets to do Rock’s pose, although with one foot on the bottom rope ala Foley.

That’s one of the best one night rubs you’ll ever see. Notice what Rock has done in three of his recent comebacks: let Hurricane pin him, gave Randy Orton a heck of a rub and then this with Eugene. Then HHH beat Hurricane three weeks later and Eugene and Orton later in the year, cutting the legs off of all three. But at least Rock tried and this was a great segment.

Smackdown Rebound, mostly looking at the TV show and a quick look at the PPV main event.

Battle Royal

HHH, Maven, Kane, Randy Orton, Edge, Chris Jericho, Batista, Steven Richards, Hurricane, Rosey, Rhyno, Ric Flair, Shelton Benjamin, Johnny Nitro, Val Venis, Garrison Cade, Sylvain Grenier, Rob Conway

The winner gets Benoit at Bad Blood and there are only eighteen people here instead of twenty. Everyone but Kane goes after Evolution to start but it’s Richards and Nitro out early on. Kane dumps out Rosey as well as they’re clearing the ring out pretty fast this time. Hurricane gets tossed onto Rosey but his feet never touch the floor.

Back from a break with 28 arms remaining as Conway was eliminated during the commercial. HHH eliminates Maven and Venis but needs Batista to save him from Jericho. Speaking of Jericho, he gets rid of Grenier, and Cade as we have ten left. Evolution of course works together and stomps Rhyno down before tossing him out. Hurricane is eliminated next but Jericho dropkicks HHH as we take a second break.

Back again with the same eight left and Jericho bulldogging HHH down. Flair puts Jericho in the Figure Four (Lawler: “I think he just wants to punish Jericho.”) for a few seconds as Batista saves Orton from being tossed. Jericho is back up and clotheslines Flair out but Batista throws him over the top, with his knees crashing into the steps on the way out. Egads that looked terrible and hopefully he’s not hurt.

Shelton skins the cat to stay alive and HHH’s facebuster has no effect on Kane. That earns HHH a chokeslam, followed by one each to everyone not named Batista. The big slugout is on with Batista escaping the chokeslam and hitting a spinebuster. Edge is back up with a clothesline to get rid of Batista and a bunch of spears but Orton low bridges him to the floor. So we’re down to Benjamin, HHH, Kane and Orton and it’s Orton up first.

Now it’s Shelton’s turn to clean house until a HHH knee to the face cuts him off. Benjamin gets sent to the apron but hangs on by a hand, then by a leg. For some reason, HHH pulls him back in and gets rewarded by a run up the ropes into a high crossbody that takes Orton down as well. There’s the Dragon Whip to Kane and Shelton eliminates Orton (there’s a Bad Blood title match) to get us down to three. HHH low blows Kane to break up a chokeslam attempt and gets rid of Benjamin himself. Cue Michaels to run in and beat up HHH, including a clothesline for the elimination to give Kane the win.

Shawn bails into the crowd as HHH screams to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. Storyline advancement, two quite good matches, storylines that make sense and a few that make you wonder where they’re going and nothing that went on longer than it needed to. It’s a well done wrestling show and you don’t get that on Tuesdays at all anymore. Why WWE can’t get at least a decent show out of both rosters but they’re still not pulling it off here. At least Raw is awesome though and this was one of the best in a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Judgment Day 2004
Date: May 16, 2004
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 18,722
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

I guess we have to do this one too. It’s one of the worst built shows I’ve seen in a very long time and that’s not surprising given how horrible Smackdown has been in recent weeks. The main event of Eddie Guerrero defending the World Title against John Bradshaw Layfield is going nowhere and it seems that it’s what we’re going to be seeing for a long time going forward. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how we will all be judged one day, but maybe there is no afterlife and this is all we get to do. But what if there’s something there? Will we meet a callous jury or be welcomed warmly? Even this is a rambling mess.

Rey Mysterio/Rob Van Dam vs. Dudley Boyz

Cole: “Literally in Rey Mysterio’s backyard tonight!” For those unfamiliar, Los Angeles is about 120 miles from San Diego. Rey has a huge backyard. Bubba and Rob start things off with the fans behind Van Dam. A very early distraction lets D-Von get in a cheap shot from behind and he comes in legally just to keep things fair. It’s already back to Bubba for some choking on the ropes but HE HAS UNTIL FIVE.

Rob comes back with some kicks and clotheslines D-Von to the floor. There’s the big flip dive onto Bubba as Rey finally realizes he can do something and dives onto D-Von. We settle down to D-Von and Rob with the latter hitting a stepover spinning kick to the face but Bubba grabs a full nelson. Of course D-Von hits his partner by mistake, because that’s how full nelsons work in tag matches.

Rey still can’t come in and it’s time for the slow motion beating. A legsweep gets Rob out of trouble and it’s off to Rey for the top rope seated senton. The springboard spinning crossbody gets two as Cole says the Dudleys are “bumblebee like”. Another springboard is countered into something like a hot shot and it’s Rey’s turn to be in trouble. A big leg sets up the chinlock, followed by the spinning back elbow to take Rey back down.

The beating continues with D-Von pounding away in the corner but the sitout bulldog gets Rey out of trouble. The hot tag….doesn’t bring Van Dam in though as Bubba comes in a second earlier to distract the referee. One heck of a spinebuster lets Bubba put Rey in the Tree of Woe (Bubba: “He’s a pinata!”).

In a rather unique counter, Rey pulls himself up and hits a cutter, despite still being tied up. That was pretty cool. A moonsault press gets two and that’s enough for the hot tag to Van Dam. Rob’s springboard kick to the face sets up Rolling Thunder for two on D-Von as everything breaks down. Rey hits a middle rope hurricanrana on D-Von to set up a double 619. The Five Star is enough to finish D-Von.

Rating: B-. It’s a bit longer than it needed to be but given that this is one of the only few good matches the card is likely to have, it makes sense to give it so much time. Mysterio and Van Dam have always worked well together, but someone needs to explain the idea of having the Dudleys lose twice if they’re supposed to be top level heels.

Josh Matthews barges into Booker T.’s locker room without even knocking so Booker yells about preparing for Undertaker. He has his own power in the bag and throws Josh out. That….was rather pointless.

Kurt Angle’s lackey Luther Reigns pushes out a big platform and Angle rises up through it to sit above the ring in a cool visual. Angle insults the crowd and the Los Angeles Lakers before moving on to Eddie Guerrero causing his broken leg. When JBL wins the title tonight, Angle is expecting them to riot and hopes a huge earthquake hits the city after he’s gone.

Before we get there though, he wants Torrie Wilson out here right now. Torrie comes out and gets in the ring where Angle yells at her for ruining his career. Therefore, she needs to protect her own career. If she loses tonight, she is FIRED. Oh dear. What ever will we do without her five minutes of screen time a month???

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

They fight into the corner to start with Torrie shoving her off. A Hennig necksnap keeps Dawn in trouble and a horrible sunset flip (you need to get both shoulders down) gets two. Torrie misses a high crossbody and the fans cheer for her….for about five seconds. Some slow motion stomping puts Torrie on the floor and a dropkick to the ribs keeps her out there.

Back in and we hit the chinlock, allowing Torrie to fight up and botch the swinging neckbreaker (you need to grab something, not put a hand on the face). A better sunset flip gets two more and Torrie rolls her up, with Dawn’s gear tearing to the first real reaction of the match. Torrie backslides her for the pin.

Rating: D-. I really, really hope they didn’t have to go home early because of the gear breaking because this was already getting terrible. Trying to get me to care about Torrie being fired isn’t a great course of action as she’s nothing but eye candy and losing her isn’t going to make the show any worse than it already is. Terrible match, because neither of them are wrestlers.

JBL is happy to be here because he’s tired of campaigning all over the country and seeing a bunch of Eddie Guerreros. Nowhere is worse than right here in Los Angeles but there are some good people. Like the ones who wash his car and polish his boots. In his America, everybody speaks English and there aren’t people with eight or nine kids on welfare.

Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Mordecai

This is Mordecai’s debut and he gets the big entrance with the white robe and cross (not a cross, but it’s a cross) staff. Scotty is terrified and his early headlock completely fails. Mordecai sends him into the post and crushes Scotty’s head against the steel. Scotty gets bent around the ropes (almost like a standing camel clutch) and a knee to the head makes it even worse. A superkick staggers Mordecai but he shrugs off the bulldog. Mordecai finishes him with a Razor’s Edge (appropriate) to complete the squash.

Rating: D. The entrance was cool and the finisher is good, but everything in the middle was pretty uninspiring stuff. Mordecai could work if he was better in the ring but there’s only so much you can do when you were boring in a three minute match. There’s potential there, though not enough to overcome the problems he has.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. and Chavo Classic (with his pants down) are getting ready when Jacqueline comes in with a present. It’s something to make him feel more comfortable on the way to the ring in case he loses to a girl again. And of course it’s women’s underwear as this horrible show continues to be horrible. Ok Chavo Classic looking at it while Jr. yells at her helps a bit.

Tag Team Titles: Rico/Charlie Haas vs. Hardcore Holly/Billy Gunn

Holly and Gunn are challenging. Charlie stalls some more by not being able to walk onto Rico and Jackie’s platform. The challengers aren’t sure who should start so Rico spanks them both at once. That means a trip to the floor as the stalling continues. After a minute of waiting around, we settle down to Charlie vs. Bob. Holly takes him into the corner as the slow pace continues.

It’s time to actually get serious with a series of kicks in the corner and Gunn bails to the floor. Haas comes back in as Cole and Tazz crack each other up with sex jokes. Holly gets in a cheap shot from behind to take over and it’s time to talk about the Undertaker. The chinlock goes on as the discussion moves to Jackie being entertaining when she slaps the mat over and over. Holly’s dropkick gets two and Rico demands that they don’t hurt his Charlie.

The kick to the ribs gets two and Holly goes up for the top rope dive that is only designed to dive onto a raised boot. To be fair though, Holly at least leaned forward a bit so it could have almost kind of sort of looked like an elbow instead of landing flat on his feet. Charlie dives over to the hot tag to Rico and house is cleaned in a hurry. The Fameasser connects but Charlie tagged himself in and German suplexes Gunn down. Holly grabs the Alabama Slam but Rico superkicks him down, allowing Haas to get a sunset flip to retain.

Rating: D. Well, at least the finish was good. This was every Rico/Haas match (Of what, four that they’ve had?) and that’s not a positive. It was the same jokes over and over again with nothing interesting or entertaining, save for Jackie as usual. You couldn’t have the Bashams in this spot instead? At least they’re a regular team.

Paul Bearer and Undertaker aren’t worried about Booker T. having the voodoo bag of death. Undertaker even acknowledging that feels so beneath him.

We recap Chavo Guerrero vs. Jacqueline, with Chavo trying to get the title back after she upset him a few weeks back. This is one of the dumbest stories of the night, and that’s a bad sign on a show of so many dumb stories.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Jacqueline

Chavo is challenging and has an arm tied behind his back. Jacqueline gets sent into the corner and kneed in the ribs as Chavo is already getting in more offense than he had in the first match. Some one armed backbreakers keep Jacqueline down but she comes back with a headscissors and Chavo walks himself shoulder first into the post. Jacqueline’s sleeper is broken up with a ram into the corner but she kicks him down for two.

Chavo Classic gets knocked off the apron and the distraction lets Jr. get in a clothesline. The low blow gives Jacqueline two and it’s time to head outside, where Classic unties the arm. Back in and another distraction lets Jr. block a right hand and hit a hard clothesline. Classic picks up a bunch of stuff for more distracting and it’s the Gory Bomb to give Jr. the title back.

Rating: F. I hated this for so many reasons that I can’t even cut the list down to something reasonable. If this is the best you can have for a title, just get rid of the thing. I know that’s what they probably want to do, but Jacqueline is not the best you can do. Jacqueline isn’t an interesting wrestler and why they decided to put her together in a “HAHA YOU LOST TO A GIRL” story is beyond me. It would have been almost as stupid, but if this is the general way you want to go, put the title on Rico and find some different Tag Team Champions. At least the promos would have been better. Horrible stuff and let’s move on.

Post match Chavo blames everyone else for laughing at him and says no one can laugh at him again. Classic gets in a cheap shot on Jacqueline before leaving. Now PLEASE never let this be talked about again.

We recap the US Title match. Rene Dupree is an obnoxious French guy who hates America and John Cena is standing up for the country. Rene isn’t ready for this spot but he’s trying, and I can take that over so much of the other slapped together show.

US Title: John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Cena is defending and his rap is a simple one about beating Dupree and sending him back to France. Some early right hands put Dupree on the floor and Cena comes back in with a Thesz press of all things. Back up and Dupree hits a rather fast boot to the face out of the corner to little effect.

Cena is right back with a backdrop and a hard clothesline puts Dupree outside again. Dupree is in a little better shape this time as he pulls Cena shoulder first into the post to take over for the first time. Back in and a low bridge sends a diving Cena (!) sailing right back to the floor. A backbreaker gives Dupree two and it’s off to a bearhug. Cena finally jawbreaks his way to freedom and starts the comeback but the Shuffle takes too long (gee I’m stunned) and Dupree scores with a spinebuster.

The French dance takes way too long as well but Cena can’t follow up. Dupree can’t hit the Michinoku Driver but Cena’s can’t hit the FU either. Instead Dupree grabs a neckbreaker for a delayed two and it’s time for the exchange of rollups. That goes nowhere so Dupree tries to jump over Cena in the corner, only to get caught in the FU to retain the title.

Rating: C+. That’s the second fine match of the night as they were putting in the effort and there was a perfectly acceptable story being told. It’s nothing that really needed to be on pay per view, but it’s better than nothing, which is more than you can say for almost anything else on the show so far. Imagine that: Cena being one of the few bright spots.

Post match Cena gives a fan his Lakers jersey in a nice touch.

Kenzo Suzuki is coming. Egads no.

We recap Booker T. vs. the Undertaker. Booker showed up in the Draft and started talking about how much better he was than everyone else, including the Undertaker. A bunch of lightning and thunder followed, so Booker went to a voodoo woman and has a hex bag that is supposed to even things out. Yeah it’s really stupid and I doubt it’s going to help the show.

Booker T. vs. Undertaker

The announcers keep calling this a rare appearance by the Undertaker. I’m really not sure why, but then again I’m not sure why Cole and Tazz say a lot of things they say. Booker takes him into the corner to start and we actually get a clean break. A shove down is enough for Booker at the moment as he heads outside and rubs something from the bag on his chest, which just gets his arm cranked on back inside.

Undertaker side slams him down and gets two off a legdrop before clotheslining Booker right back to the floor. As tends to happen to him a lot, Undertaker gets his throat snapped across the top, allowing Booker to come back in with a missile dropkick. Booker rubs some more stuff on his chest and gets caught with the jumping clothesline. Old School connects but Booker slips out of the Last Ride and bumps the referee.

The distraction lets Booker throw the dirt from the bag in Undertaker’s eyes….which just ticks him off. The running big boot misses in the corner though and Booker starts stomping on the knee. Booker wraps the leg around the post to keep Undertaker down and a dropkick gets two. The ax kick connects for the same so it’s time for Undertaker to pop up with the chokeslam and Tombstone for the pin.

Rating: D. Egads they really can’t get anything going with this show. Another bad match as the hex bag went nowhere as Undertaker didn’t even sell the dirt in his eyes. Other than that, this was a little working on Undertaker’s knee before he popped back up and won anyway. I have no idea why you would bring Booker to Smackdown just to put Undertaker over in his first big match, especially when the show is so starved for effectual heels. It didn’t make sense at the time and it still doesn’t now.

We recap JBL vs. Eddie Guerrero. JBL is a rich guy from New York and wants to get rid of someone deplorable like Eddie. In other words, it’s at least half racist and more than half awful as JBL is really bad at what he’s doing. Then JBL caused Eddie’s mom to have a heart attack, which he blamed Eddie for and which we had to see about five times in a week. Let’s get this over with.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Eddie is defending. Before we’re ready to go, JBL talks about how he’s going to say this in English so half the people here will need translators. After he wins the title, Eddie’s mother can come to New York and be his maid. Eddie gets aggressive to start and knocks him outside for a whip into the steps. JBL gets tossed over the announcers’ table and it’s time to head back inside for some shouting and punching.

It’s too early for JBL to walk out so Eddie chases him down and hammers away some more. Back in and Eddie walks on his face but makes the mistake of going outside again, allowing JBL to whip him into the steps. JBL keeps up the awesome wrestling with a big boot and a headlock as things slow down to a snail’s pace. Another headlock takeover keeps things slow but some armdrags put JBL on the floor.

The dive is caught for a fall away slam though and the champ is down again. A backdrop puts Eddie onto the announcers’ table in a good looking crash. Back in and they slug it out until JBL grabs a bearhug, which is the worst thing this match can do. Thankfully it doesn’t last long as Eddie slips out and hits Three Amigos. The referee gets bumped though and Eddie backdrops JBL to the floor.

Another whip over the announcers’ table lets JBL grab a chair and cave Eddie’s head in, drawing one of the deepest, most disturbing cuts I’ve ever seen. You can see the blood literally flowing out of his head and streaming down his chest over and over. A steps show to the head makes it even worse and the Clothesline From JBL is good for no cover because referees are made of paper around here. The second referee comes in for two as there is blood EVERYWHERE.

The replacement referee takes a Clothesline of his own and a powerbomb gives JBL two with the first referee counting. JBL slaps on a sleeper but Eddie fights up and starts the dancing. The fall away slam is countered into a DDT and they’re both down. Eddie is up first but the blood loss means the frog splash takes way too long and they’re down again. JBL grabs the title and a chair but Eddie kicks him low and hits him with the belt for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The story worked, the blood REALLY worked, and Eddie was trying, but there’s only so much you can do with someone like Bradshaw as your opponent. The headlock didn’t do this any favors and the idea of having to watch this match again made my head hurt. You can only do so much to get beyond a horrible build and bad character work from the heel and Eddie wasn’t able to get over the mountain.

Post match Eddie stays on him and shoves some referees away. A chair to JBL’s head draws some blood as well and Eddie does it again for fun. Eddie drops a frog splash and JBL bails to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. The two good matches are nowhere near enough to save this show as they’re only so good. The problem here continues to be the lame villains, as there’s no way around people I don’t care about. JBL is a terrible top villain, the second villains are the Dudley Boyz who haven’t won a tag match in a long time, and then you have Booker T. who is running around like a comedy goof. Who in there is supposed to be intimidating?

Nothing on this show got me interested or excited in the slightest and that just shouldn’t happen on a pay per view. The wrestling can be passable at times but they have to work on the stories and characters. Those are the far more important parts of the show and neither of them is going anywhere at all. Just get something interesting in there because what we have at the moment is making me long for a twenty minute HHH promo to perk things up a bit.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 13, 2004
Location: Lawlor Convention Center, Reno, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Judgment Day and my goodness the show is not looking good at this point. We currently have three matches announced so this week’s show is going to be designed to get us ready for Sunday in a hurry, with several matches likely being added at once. That rarely leads to a good night but that would be par for the course around here lately. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Eddie Guerrero’s mom having a heart attack, because that’s the one angle they have for this whole thing. Eddie snapped to end last week’s show, partially due to JBL blaming him for the heart attack.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

During Rob’s entrance, Rob/Rey Mysterio vs. the Dudley Boyz is announced for Sunday. I mean, we saw it last week so let’s make people pay to see it again! Actually hang on a second as we have a change due to a sneak attack.

Rob Van Dam vs. D-Von Dudley

See? IT’S TRICKINESS! D-Von jumps him from behind to start until Van Dam gets in a spinning kick to the jaw. The running corner dropkick in the corner allows Van Dam to get in some finger pointing. Bubba offers a distraction though and the split legged moonsault is countered into a neckbreaker out of the corner. Some choking with a torn tag rope has Van Dam in some more trouble and a hard clothesline gets two.

The chinlock wakes Van Dam up a bit and there’s another kick to the face to put D-Von down. The top rope kick to the face gets two but Van Dam has to cannonball off the apron to take care of an interfering Bubba. Rolling Thunder connects but Bubba puts D-Von’s leg on the rope. A ref bump lets Bubba crotch Van Dam on top though and it’s a top rope hanging DDT to give D-Von the pin.

Rating: D. This was as interesting as D-Von in the ring and Bubba on the floor vs. Van Dam was going to be. Having the Dudley Boyz as the second biggest heels on the roster is one of the dumbest things that could have been done and it’s not getting any better week to week. The clean loss last week didn’t help things either and it’s just not interesting.

Post match the beatdown stays on until Rey Mysterio makes the save. Thanks for being there in the last five minutes Rey.

Kurt Angle comes in to see Eddie Guerrero and says what Eddie did last week was unprovoked. Eddie is a volcano waiting to erupt and Angle can’t have that on his show. If Eddie does anything tonight, there will be severe consequences. Eddie gets up and walks away.

Kenzo Suzuki is coming. Oh good grief.

Cole is in the ring and brings out Jacqueline for a chat. We see a clip of her winning the Cruiserweight Title and she’s proud to be the first woman to hold it. Dig that WWE continuity. She reminds Chavo “Guerrer” that he lost to a girl so here are Chavo and Chavo Classic to interrupt. Jr. calls her a thief because that was the worst night of his career and maybe even his life. Angle has made a rematch for Judgment Day and he’ll have one arm tied behind his back. Classic thinks it’s a great idea but he wants some redemption tonight. Oh dear this is going to be bad.

Chavo Classic vs. Jacqueline

Non-title. Joined in progress with Chavo taking her down and getting in a little spanking. Jacqueline sends him outside and then does the exact same thing he did to her, albeit with the slaps to the head for the sake of good taste. A Hennig neck snap puts Jacqueline down again though and we hit an abdominal stretch with Chavo having to lean down to make it work. Jacqueline fights up with a hurricanrana but Jr. pulls her off the apron, dropping her face first onto the apron, giving Classic the pin. This is a champion people. Someone who gets sent into the apron and pinned by in his mid-50s.

Worry not though, as Jacqueline gets revenge by pulling Classic’s pants down. Good thing everything is ok now.

Angle is livid at Eddie for disrespecting him and is going to do something about it.

We look back at Booker using magic to try and fend off Undertaker.

Angle finds Eddie and tells him to cool off. It wasn’t even JBL’s fault because Eddie’s mom is 76 years old. Eddie is about to snap so the boss leaves.

The announcers talk about JBL, who suddenly calls in from his limo to promise to destroy Mysterio tonight. He wants Eddie to still be here when he gets to the arena too.

FBI vs. Booker T.

The FBI is banged up after last week’s massacre at Undertaker’s hands. Booker has the hex bag with him because that’s still a thing. Stamboli gets stomped down with ease and a side slam drops Nunzio. Booker drops Nunzio ribs first onto the barricade and kicks Stamboli in the face a few times, followed by the ax kick for the pin. The FBI didn’t get in a single shot.

Post match Booker says that proves he’s just as powerful as the Undertaker….and there’s the gong. Undertaker’s face pops up on both smaller screens and then the main screen as Booker tries to run. Paul Bearer comes out as the ring fills with smoke and Undertaker sits up inside.

Here’s Eddie for a chat and we see the heart attack AGAIN during his entrance because there’s nothing else to the feud but it’s somehow better than the racism/border patrol stuff. Eddie talks about representing the entire WWE and all of America. The point of America isn’t saying you’re better than other people but working hard to achieve your dreams. Eddie looks at America as a great big melting pot.

JBL is going to need some intestinal fortitude to deal with him on Sunday because Eddie is bringing it to the fullest. Eddie talks about the heart attack and having to explain to his kids why he didn’t do anything to the man who hurt grandma. She’s a strong woman and Eddie was worried about her but he wants to take care of Bradshaw tonight. He wants Vickie to turn the TV off because he doesn’t want the kids to see what’s about to happen to Bradshaw.

The limo comes out but there’s no JBL so Eddie breaks the window with a pipe. There’s no one inside so here’s JBL with some police to demand Eddie be arrested for destruction of private property. Eddie charges at him but gets beaten down, with JBL screaming about aggravated assault. Eddie was really stretching in his promo and didn’t sound like he knew where he was going. Could it be because even he knows how awful this story has been?

Rico vs. Hardcore Holly

Rico kicks away in the corner as Jackie and Charlie Haas celebrate on the floor. The chinlock goes on as there’s just nothing going on here. Holly pops up and hits the kick to the very lower abdomen but the Alabama Slam is escaped. A dropkick that isn’t quite up to Holly’s usual standard gets two so Rico heads up top, only to have his high crossbody rolled through to give Holly the pin.

Rating: D. This was a fine example of two things. First of all, Rico can wrestle a watchable match when he’s just playing it straight (pun intended) and isn’t doing all of his shtick. It’s a shame that he got stuck with such a lame gimmick and never recovered. Unfortunately, the other thing it shows is how horrible the tag division is, with a team being thrown together (if they teamed on Velocity, it wasn’t mentioned here) and getting a pay per view title shot. That should never be the case but it’s happening here, and it’s likely to happen again.

Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie has been added to Sunday.

Earlier this week, Rene Dupree held a Cafe de Rene where he talked about how unwelcome he’s felt since coming to this country. America just can’t handle the world thinking there are better countries out there, which is why he’s been targeted by John Cena. On Sunday, he’s going to treat Cena like Americans treat Iraqi prisoners.

Mordecai debuts on Sunday.

Sakoda vs. John Cena

Non-title. Sakoda doesn’t go anywhere off a shoulder block but he bails to the floor anyway. Cena goes out to get him and gets kicked in the face by Akio. Back in and Sakoda knees Cena in the face and poses a bit, showing more fire in ten seconds than I’ve ever seen otherwise. We hit the sleeper until Cena fights up with the usual, capped off by the FU for the easy pin.

Rating: D+. Sakoda looked better than usual here, which isn’t saying much as he’s been little more than a warm body for months now. Cena needed a win to recharge things a bit after last week’s beatdown, even though I don’t think the title is in that much doubt. At least Cena could fire the crowd up a little bit after the JBL and Rene times killed the crowd’s energy.

Akio get FU’d onto Sakoda to even things up.

Raw ReBound.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio gets shoved down and JBL does that smile of his. Rey dropkicks it off his face so Bradshaw blasts him with a shoulder and some kicks to the back. The powerbomb doesn’t work and the chase is on with Rey trying a dive, only to get caught in a fall away slam on the floor.

Back in and the slow beating begins with a kick to the head and a suplex. The torture rack goes on and JBL runs over Rey for daring to escape. Rey fights out of a superplex and grabs a tornado DDT. That’s about it for the comeback though as Rey is sent outside and into various things like the announcers’ table. Back in and a buckle bomb sets up the Clothesline From JBL for the pin. Just a bit above a squash.

Rating: D. This was a good example of why JBL isn’t working in the role. His promos and character stuff are really dull and then it gets even worse in the ring. He’s just a power guy and there are people who are so much better at it than he is that it’s not fun to watch. It’s a good idea to have him go over someone like Mysterio but it’s WAY too late to have the result that they needed.

Post match JBL talks about how he doesn’t care about Eddie’s mother dying because it’s all about winning the title. Cole: “Will JBL’s stock rise on Sunday?” Oh good grief.

Overall Rating: F. Let’s see. There was no good wrestling. There were no good promos. I somehow care about Judgment Day even less than I did when this show started. That has to be one of the worst go home shows I’ve ever seen and when you consider how much they had to add to the pay per view on this show alone (an insane five matches out of an eight match card), it’s clear that they’re making this stuff up as they go.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 10, 2004
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

With the big Phoenix show out of the way, we’re on the long road towards Bad Blood in June. With that show coming up, it’s time to start setting up some of the stories as last week’s show felt like the blowoff to some of the bigger matches. There are two big matches already set for tonight though with the in-ring debut of Eugene and Chris Jericho vs. Christian inside a steel cage. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Shawn vs. Benoit from last week in the very good title match with HHH costing Michaels the title. I think you know where this is going.

Opening sequence.

HHH vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton wastes no time as he armdrags HHH while the music is still playing. Now that’s just rude, as is grabbing a backslide for two. An armdrag into an armbar keeps HHH slow but Shelton charges into a raised boot in the corner. He’s fine enough to snap off a powerslam for two and a DDT gets two. The Stinger Splash misses though and HHH clotheslines him to the floor, only to have Shawn come in for the fast DQ.

The fight stays on for a bit with referees not being able to hold Shawn back as Shelton is completely forgotten. HHH escapes through the crowd and Shawn says he isn’t leaving until he finishes HHH for good. Cue Eric Bischoff to say not so fast and suspends Shawn. With nothing to lose at the moment, Shawn goes after HHH but security cuts him off.

Video on Edge vs. Randy Orton, which has been a big part of the recent Evolution vs. the World feud.

HHH makes it back to the Evolution locker room and gives HHH a pep talk. Bischoff comes in and gives HHH a title shot next week for his troubles. And I’m sure Shawn won’t come anywhere near the ring at all. Of note: Flair gives Batista a pep talk before his match with Tajiri, who Flair calls, and I quote, “That sneaky little Jap.” My goodness how long ago was 2004?

Tajiri vs. Batista

Tajiri strikes away to start and low bridges him to the floor. A tornado DDT on the outside is countered into a spinebuster onto the barricade and it’s time for the pain to begin. Batista stays on the back with a suplex before just standing on it. Tajiri trying a sunset flip just annoys Batista, who plants him with a side slam. A charge in the corner is blocked by a heck of a superkick and Tajiri puts him down with a spinwheel kick. The Batista Bomb is countered into a DDT for two but the Buzzsaw kick is countered into a spinebuster to give Batista the pin.

Rating: D+. It was nothing flashy but Batista worked on one body part and then got the pin after a big shot to that part. The fact that he can have some psychology like that, even at a very simple level, is a good sign and proof that he’s getting better. Give him some more time and he’s going to be a star.

Post match Batista destroys Tajiri’s back even more. The mist starts coming out of Tajiri’s mouth and Batista chokes him out.

Here’s Stacy Keibler to talk about the upcoming Divas DVD. Gail Kim and Molly Holly interrupt so Victoria runs out for a save (for her well known friendship with Stacy) but Jazz comes in and beat her down but Nidia of all people makes the save. This is a thing that happened.

Chris Jericho doesn’t have time to think about HHH and Shawn because tonight, it’s all about that cage. He’ll show Christian how rough he can be.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Edge

Orton is defending. They fight over a lockup to start until a headlock takes Edge down. Edge gets back up and sends him into the corner for some forearms to the back, followed by a backbreaker for two. The back is bent around the post as it’s almost all Edge to start. We hit a modified bow and arrow hold before Edge clotheslines him out to the floor in a heap.

The back gets banged up even worse with a whip into the steps so here’s Ric Flair to help things out. Back from a break with Edge fighting out of a chinlock but getting taken right back down into a second one. The third chinlock in a row goes on and Edge is in even more trouble. Edge finally kicks him in the head to escape but walks into a neckbreaker for two.

A belly to back suplex gives Edge two and a missile dropkick gets the same, this time to a very energetic reaction. The Edge-O-Matic gets two more and Edge reverses a leapfrog into a head of a sitout powerbomb for another near fall. That’s enough to draw Flair onto the apron so Edge spears him down, only to get rolled up for the pin with Orton holding the titles.

Rating: B-. The fans were begging to see a title change here and bought the near falls so there’s hope for something like this later on. You can tell they see some serious potential in Edge and that’s what matters most. Edge isn’t ready to get the big push as they’re taking their time and when he’s ready, the fans are going to react in a big way.

Clip of William Regal training Eugene last week.

Regal has Eugene warm up when Eric Bischoff comes up. He wants Eugene to lose so he’ll get disappointed and quit. If that’s taken care of, Regal can wrestle again. Regal seems interested.

Victoria/Nidia/Stacy Keibler vs. Molly Holly/Gail Kim/Jazz

Jazz wastes no time in taking Victoria down for a Last Chancery before switching to the knee with a dragon screw legwhip. A half crab keeps Victoria in trouble and Nidia’s save attempt goes nowhere. Gail comes in and gets powerslammed for two, only to slap on the Black Widow, which made Victoria tap last week. Everything breaks down and Gail makes Victoria tap to a Tequila Sunrise.

Smackdown Rebound, focusing on Eddie Guerrero’s mother’s heart attack.

Christian isn’t worried about the cage match because he has Tyson Tomko and Trish Stratus backing him up. Tonight is the final match because next week, Christian gets a chance to become World Champion, which was also promised to HHH earlier tonight. The guys leave and Trish goes over to see Lita. A false Kane sighting makes Trish laugh and Lita panic. Matt Hardy has to come in and drag Lita off of her.

Matt Hardy vs. Val Venis

Or not actually as Kane has beaten Val up. I’m not sure why this is a bad thing for Matt, who now gets to leave with Lita earlier. Kane wants an answer from Lita by next week, though the question isn’t clear.

Eugene vs. Rob Conway

This is Eugene’s debut and happens to be against his former longtime OVW tag partner. Eugene goes up top at the bell but politely hops down. Conway’s headlock goes nowhere and Eugene celebrates. A rollup and backslide get two each and Eugene throws in a crucifix for a bonus. Conway snapmares him down for a neck crank so Eugene wristdrags him down.

A ram into the buckle just annoys Eugene and he starts slugging away, setting up a pair of atomic drops. There’s an airplane spin and a top rope ax handle (to a very pleased reaction) for two with the fans deflating on the kickout. Regal reluctantly trips Eugene but claims it was the ring skirt. Not that it matters anyway as Eugene rolls him up with a bridge for the pin, despite Regal’s attempt at a save.

Rating: A. The wrestling wasn’t the point here, at least not in the traditional sense. This was all about getting the Eugene character over and they nailed the whole thing. Eugene isn’t someone who should be out there wrestling a regular match so he just did some basic wrestling and made the match entertaining as a result. It’s the kind of underdog story that you can get behind and the fans did just that. I was a huge fan of the character back in the day and it’s working again here.

Chris Benoit video, edited off the Network of course.

Here are Eric Bischoff and Johnny Nitro to discuss next week’s World Title situation. First though, Nitro announces Trish vs. Lita for next week. With that out of the way, Bischoff announces a battle royal next week with the winner getting a title shot at Bad Blood. Kind of an odd way to go then with Christian and HHH both saying they were getting the shot if it’s just a battle royal. Just announce that in the first place if you’re going to explain it before the end of the show.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Inside a cage with pinfall, submission or escape to win with Bischoff on commentary. Jericho baseball slides Christian before he can get inside and tries an early Walls, only to get kicked back into the corner. It’s way too early for Jericho to get out so Christian pulls him back down. That’s enough for Jericho to grab a suplex for two and starts firing off the chops.

Christian kicks him out of the air though and gets two off a backbreaker. Jericho catches him on top with a hard crotching but Tomko is waiting on the ground with a chair. With that not being an option, Jericho dives off the top onto Christian for the big crash. Tomko is right there to kick Jericho in the head before he can get out the door though, and that’s enough for an ejection. You know, because slamming a chair against the cage to block the earlier exit wasn’t enough.

With Tomko out of the way, Christian backdrops him into the cage to take over as we get a slow motion replay of the high crossbody. Jericho fights out of a chinlock and sidesteps a charge, sending Christian face first into the cage to bust him open. Another ram into the corner draws Trish up the side of the cage as Christian is just gushing blood. Jericho goes into the cage this time and the Unprettier gets a very, very delayed near fall. Christian goes up again but this time it’s a butterfly superplex to bring him back down.

That draws Trish into the cage so Jericho puts her in the Walls without much effort. Christian uses the distraction to climb up (exactly as you would expect from him) but Jericho makes the save. Something like a super spinebuster sets up the Walls, sending Christian to the door. He can’t crawl out though because of the legs, forcing him to tap and give Jericho the feud.

Rating: B. The blood helped and it does feel like a definitive ending to the feud. Jericho needed the win more than Christian and it’s nice to have the final match instead of just having another match that winds up being the last one. The blood did add something as well as it should be the ending of two men who hate each other, making the violence that much more important.

Jericho sits on top of the cage to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. The shows continue to be entertaining week in and week out, which is far better than I’m getting on Smackdown. Above all else the wrestling and stories make sense here, with a good balance between wrestling and entertainment. It’s certainly better than watching Eddie Guerrero’s mom having a heart attack twice in a night. That battle royal has me worried, but at least this week’s show was a lot of fun and very good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 6, 2004
Location: Tuscon Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re coming up on Judgment Day and….well I haven’t actually watched the show in a good while as I stockpiled a bunch of reviews before I went on vacation. That was by design, as I tried to block out most of what was going on with this show. JBL vs. Eddie Guerrero is still coming up and that’s not exactly something I want to think about. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Michael Cole is in the ring to talk about Eddie Guerrero’s mother having a heart attack at an El Paso house show. Eddie had finished his match and invited his family into the ring, which was followed by tragedy. Since it’s so sad, let’s see a video of the whole thing. Eddie invited some women into the ring, starting with his wife Vickie (one of her first appearances), his daughters, and finally his mother, the latter of whom gets a rather long and glowing introduction.

Eddie presents her with a bouquet of roses, which brought out JBL, who must be a fan of lilies. The big clothesline takes Eddie out and JBL yells at the mother, who collapses in a heart attack that Fritz Von Erich would find to be a little much. Medics come out as Eddie chases JBL off to finally wrap this up.

Back in the arena, Cole and Tazz are rather somber, with Tazz even taking his sunglasses off.

John Cena vs. Doug Basham

Non-title. Before the match, Cena makes his usual gay jokes, this time at Doug’s expense. Oh and the Bashams are like Mary-Kate and Ashley. It takes a good minute into the match to have Cena throw his jersey into the crowd. Cole goes from talking about Cena’s Deez Nuts joke to Eddie’s mom having a heart attack, showing that great broadcasting ability. Cena slugs him into the corner to start until Doug scores with an elbow to the jaw. Danny trips Cena up for bad measure and Doug slaps on a sleeper. The belly to back suplex gets Cena out of trouble and it’s a pump of the shoes into the FU for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a quick win with some minor odds for Cena to overcome, much like his upcoming match with Rene Dupree. There’s no one for him to fight in the midcard at the moment so while I can appreciate the idea of bringing some people up, there’s going to be a rough transitional period, just like this one. Or maybe it’s just the Bashams and Dupree.

We recap Booker T. attacking Undertaker last week and getting chased off as a result.

To get a chance against the Undertaker, Booker visited a fortune teller. Her advice to deal with the evil shadow: find things for him, starting with dirt from the grave with no name. Oh this is going to be a rough one.

Here are Chavo Guerrero Jr. and Sr. (now dubbed Chavo Classic) with the latter talking about how sad he is at his mother’s heart attack. Jr. is wanting to face everyone, so tonight it’s an open challenge for a title shot.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Jacqueline

Jacqueline is challenging because Paul London, Tajiri, Rey Mysterio, Brian Kendrick and probably half a dozen other people aren’t around for the sake of this angle. The Guerreros mock her for being a woman and want the real challenger out here instead. Jr. says this wouldn’t be fair because no man can beat him, so what chance does she have? She can either do, ahem, something else to him or make some sandwiches.

A slap starts the match and Chavo takes her down into an armbar without much effort. Jacqueline is up with a headscissors and a dropkick but Chavo belly to backs the heck out of her. Classic offers a distraction though and it’s a low blow into a rollup to give Jacqueline the pin and the title. So that happened. Anyone care? At all? At least Classic’s stunned face is funny.

The FBI is in the ring so here’s Kurt Angle to talk about how he thought last week’s negative crowd reaction in Oklahoma City was just a one off mistake. All the fans couldn’t possibly boo someone who has sacrificed as much as he has over the years. No matter how many people dislike him, he’s still the General Manager of this show. That’s why tonight, Undertaker is facing the FBI.

Undertaker vs. FBI

Just Stamboli and Nunzio to be destroyed here. Cole says he’s been having debates with a lot of people about whether Undertaker is alive or dead. I’m sure you have Cole, and odds are they’re at the airport. Undertaker cleans house to start and kicks Stamboli in the face. With Nunzio coming back up off the floor, Old School is broken up so Undertaker beats on Stamboli instead.

Post match Undertaker destroys both guys because he’s the Undertaker and they’re the FBI.

Booker finds the grave (good thing it was in the same city) and takes some of the dirt. After Booker leaves, a gloved hand pops out of the ground. Uh….yeah.

We look at the heart attack angle again, though thankfully a shorter version which still clocks in at longer than an Undertaker entrance.

Josh Matthews asks Eddie if he blames himself for the heart attack and Eddie’s glare sends Josh running off. Good. Keep going.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Well what else are you going to use to follow up an elderly woman having a heart attack and her son having an emotional breakdown? Rene Dupree is at ringside. Apparently Torrie is still being blamed for Angle’s injuries because she ticked Big Show off so much. Dawn kicks her down for an early two as Rene eerily stares at Torrie. A turnbuckle pad is ripped off and Torrie goes face first into it, only to come back with a clothesline.

The swinging neckbreaker, as in the only move Torrie can do, gets two and a high crossbody gets the same, despite Rene’s failed interference. Cue Cena to even things up and the fight is on as the match is thrown out somewhere in there. The stuff with the women was terrible and Cena vs. Dupree was slightly less terrible.

Dupree beats Cena up and takes him inside for a ram into the exposed buckle. Cena gets posted as well and a powerbomb puts him through the announcers’ table. Well, that’s better than giving Eddie’s mother a heart attack.

Back from a break and apparently Dupree beat him up even more during the commercial.

Pay per view rundown. With ten days to go before the show, you should probably have a fourth match announced.

JBL joins us from New York to deny all responsibility for the heart attack because he was just asking her to leave. Eddie had no right to bring his family into JBL’s place of business because it wasn’t bring your family to work day. There’s no need for an apology because the woman has already outlived her days. If Eddie wants to do something like that, he has to take responsibility for the consequences.

JBL isn’t here tonight to give Eddie a break but that won’t be the case next week. Oh and Eddie’s mom probably faked it because she taught Eddie to lie, cheat and steal. We get the illegal immigrant stuff to wrap it up. This story is still lame, mainly because it’s still Bradshaw trying to be intimidating.

Paul Heyman comes up to Angle and talks about Eddie being emotional. If Eddie explodes in the tag match main event, it’s going to be on Angle’s head. Angle agrees so Luther Reigns is tasked with going to find an unnamed replacement.

Dudley Boyz vs. Rob Van Dam/???

D-Von comes in and gets hurricanranaed, followed by a kick to the face to keep him in trouble. Bubba gets smart by grabbing Rob from the apron but gets kicked down for his efforts. Rey comes in for a 619 attempt, only to be tripped down by Bubba. Things slow down with Bubba yelling at Rey and punching him down for a bonus. A headscissors gets Rey out of trouble and a springboard bulldog is good for two.

D-Von uses a quick distraction to crotch Rey against the post though and we take a break. Back with D-Von holding Rey in a chinlock but slipping out of a suplex attempt. The hot tag to Van Dam is broken up though and double teaming ensues. Rey slips out again and now the hot tag works just fine. Van Dam’s top rope kick to the face gets two on D-Von and everything breaks down.

The split legged moonsault hits D-Von for two more with Bubba making the save. Rey’s springboard is pulled out of the air but Van Dam breaks up What’s Up. The Five Star misses D-Von so Rob enziguris him into the 619 instead. A Rolling Thunder/Dropping the Dime combination is good for the pin, because that’s the way to get over a suddenly angry act like the Dudleys.

Rating: C+. That’s one of the best Smackdown matches in far too long and that shows a lot of the problems with the show at the moment. This was built up as one of the major matches on the show and then they change it at the last minute, leaving us with a good match but not the one that they advertised. The Dudleys continue to be their same old selves though, and that’s not good for the spot they’re supposed to be in.

Post match the Dudleys beat the winners down until Eddie runs in for the save with a chair. Eddie throws the referee outside and starts swinging, including a shot to the referee and another to Van Dam. Bubba (already bleeding) and D-Von take second shots to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. A bunch of short matches, Jacqueline as Cruiserweight Champion instead of making someone into a new star (you know, like they did last year), and the heart attack angle are a little too much for the only so good main event to make up for. It’s such a dark time for Smackdown at the moment and unfortunately I don’t see that changing for a very, very long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 3, 2004
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s a big night here with Chris Benoit defending the World Title against Shawn Michaels. HHH is still lurking around though because he doesn’t know how to do anything else. Other than that we have the continuing adventures of Eugene, who has turned out to be quite the charming fellow, especially with William Regal as his handler. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at Benoit vs. Michaels, billed as the Showdown in the Desert. I’ve heard of worse ideas.

Opening sequence.

JR welcomes us to Memphis.

Evolution vs. Tajiri/Shelton Benjamin/Edge

Flair is the odd man out here. HHH and Shelton start things off but Randy tags himself in before anything can start. Orton catches a kick to the ribs but is smart enough to not spin the leg around for the Dragon Whip. A clothesline drops Orton and it’s Tajiri coming in, only to be taken into the Evolution corner. As he comes in, the fans remind HHH that he tapped out. Edge, now with a more stylish black cast, gets in as well and it’s a rather nice looking staredown.

HHH eventually gets the better of it and brings Orton in for some choking in the corner. Evolution keeps taking turns on Edge with Batista slamming him down and HHH stomping away in the corner. The bad hand goes into the steps and HHH slugs away, followed by the facebuster for two. Edge scores with a spinwheel kick and it’s off to Tajiri for some slightly better kicks. A tornado DDT gets two on HHH until Batista breaks up the handspring with a shot to the back.

We come back from a break with Tajiri still in trouble, including HHH elbowing him to the floor. Batista chokes a bit and HHH adds an elbow to the chest as the dominance continues. Lawler: “Is it true that if you turn an Oriental upside down, they become disoriented?” Orton even gets in some pounding of his own and grabs a long chinlock. Back up and Tajiri kicks the head out of Orton, allowing the hot tag off to Edge. Everything breaks down and Edge hits Orton with a top rope clothesline. Batista breaks up the spear attempt and HHH clotheslines Benjamin. Tajiri mists Batista though and the spear is enough to put Orton away.

Rating: B-. Good old fashioned six man tag (which we need a lot more of) here and that’s exactly what this story needed. Evolution vs. a rotating cast of faces is a perfect way to book the show as you can do all kinds of combinations. The win should give Edge the inside track to an Intercontinental Title shot and there’s nothing wrong with that. Good booking and fun action to start the show.

Jonathan Coachman and Garrison Cade are insulting the women of Phoenix (and promising two good looking midwest women, who better not be Moolah and Mae Young) when Vince McMahon comes in to say he’s here for the big main event. That’s a nice cameo and Vince put Benoit over very strong.

Smackdown ReBound.

Last night at a Smackdown show, Eddie Guerrero brought his family into the ring when “something” happened, possibly involving JBL. I don’t see this going well.

HHH rants to Bischoff about being in the World Title match. Batista wants Tajiri and Johnny Nitro tries to calm things down. HHH: “Take it easy Johnny Oversell.” For next week: Batista vs. Tajiri, Orton vs. Edge for the Intercontinental Title and HHH vs. Benjamin.

Hurricane vs. Rob Conway

They fight over a neckbreaker to start with Conway getting the better of it and hammering away. It’s off to a modified cravate to keep Hurricane in trouble but he pops up for a missed Shining Wizard. Conway is right back up with a hanging swinging neckbreaker for the clean pin.

Rating: D. Not enough time to mean anything here but at least they’re doing something to set up next week’s match. That’s been the norm as of late and that makes for some fun television: set up things for next week and keep giving the fans a reason to come back. Why is that so hard to grasp?

Post match Conway promises a special beating for Eugene.

Video on Kane’s renewed evil, including forcing a kiss on Lita last week. You know, in case you haven’t seen enough from Kane in recent months.

Kane vs. Steven Richards

Chokeslam in about thirty seconds.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel. Before the guest comes out, Jericho talks about tonight’s World Title match. What are his thoughts? It’s been far too long since he’s had a World Title match of his own so he wants the first shot at the winner (making sure to point out that it’s someone other than HHH challenging for a change in a nice touch).

As for the show though, his guest is Matt Hardy, who believes in karma and is not afraid of pain. Jericho asks him about Kane and Lita but Matt gets right to the point: he wants Lita in the ring right now because he needs to ask her something. Lita shows up on the screen and says Matt has to listen to her. In what sounds like a forced statement, she says she never loved him and has found someone else. She never wants to see him again and needs him to stay away from her.

Lita finally snaps and says she can’t do this before screaming that she’s in the basement, revealing that Kane has her hostage. Matt runs out and Jericho says that’s kind of an abrupt end to the show. Cue Christian, Trish Stratus (all in black and…..well dang) and Tyson Tomko to chat a bit before coming in and laying Jericho out, including a low blow from Trish.

During the break, Matt went to save Lita but Kane was gone. Hugging ensues. Again: logical stuff there. There was no reason for Matt to wait until the break was over if it was that important, so just say it happened in real time and show it later.

Gail Kim vs. Victoria

Non-title and Molly, now with long, curly blonde hair, is with Gail. Before the match, Gail says no one feels sorry for Lita. Gail jumps her to start but gets half gorilla pressed up with Victoria dropping her part of the way through. The dancing moonsault gets two with Molly making the save and earning herself a stern lecture.

Back up and Gail clotheslines her into a chinlock, followed by a dragon sleeper. That works so well that Gail does the same sequence of moves again, this time causing Victoria to fight up and scream a bit. Three straight shot to the face have Gail knocked down (ignore Gail falling before the contact on at least one of them) but she’s right back with the Black Widow….and actually gets the tap.

Rating: D. Pretty boring match here but Victoria does need a new challenger. I can’t say fresh because we’ve seen every combination of these women for the better part of ever but at least we’re getting somewhere different with these people. Gail isn’t exactly polished at this point and hopefully we get to Trish instead of her instead.

William Regal is ready to train Eugene in what he calls a torture session. This might be his way to get out of this once and for all.

Vince is alone in a sky box to watch the main event.

It’s time for the training session with Eugene, who is very excited by an armdrag because Ricky Steamboat did them. Regal does a bunch of moves but Eugene does them all (set to what would become his music) and then taunts him with toys and a HHH water bottle. Regal switches to chain wrestling (as Ride of Valkyries starts up)….and is almost immediately taken down into a Regal Stretch with Eugene making him tap.

That’s EXACTLY how this character should work as he’s a goon in over his head everywhere but the ring, where he’s an idiot savant. That’s a good character and something that plays to both WWE’s creativity (which can exist) and Eugene’s in-ring skills. Everyone wins and I’m looking forward to the match next week.

Preview for next week. Again: give them a reason to tune in because they want to see matches instead of asking them to tune in and find out that it’s a good show. It also helps when you have the show planned that far in advance.

Before the main event, Bischoff makes Christian vs. Jericho in a cage for next week.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

Shawn is challenging and they have a lot of time, as they should. An aggressive Benoit goes straight at Shawn in the corner but the referee makes a bit of a forced break. They do it again and now it’s time to start slugging away for a few moments. A headlock doesn’t keep Benoit down long as he’s right back with a backdrop and a clothesline to put Shawn on the floor. The announcers talk about Shawn being born here, with JR pointing out that not many people are going to notice, or likely care.

Shawn gets in a neckbreaker, followed by the flying forearm into the nipup. Benoit can’t get the Crossface in either of two attempts so Shawn hits him in the head again. Back from a very abrupt break with Shawn holding an abdominal stretch, allowing Lawler to plug next week’s matches again. One heck of a whip into the corner just wakes Benoit up as he rattles off some rollups for near falls.

Shawn atomic drops him down again, which Lawler thinks has the fans cheering because Shawn is from Phoenix. The top rope elbow connects but Sweet Chin Music is countered into the rolling German suplexes. Benoit hits four in a row but misses the Swan Dive to put them both down. Shawn goes up again, only to get caught with chops and some very angry stomps to put him in trouble.

Benoit loads up a suplex but gets suplexed out to the floor instead. The moonsault to the floor takes Benoit down again and Michaels’ tights coming down far lower than they need to be. He’s fine enough to whip Benoit knees first into the steps and head first into the post to bust him open as we take another break. Back again with Benoit fighting out of a sleeper and getting two off a bridging German suplex.

Shawn grabs the Walls of all things but Benoit makes a rope as we keep going (not a bad thing). The Crossface goes on and Shawn is in trouble until he gets his foot on the rope. With that not working, Benoit tries the Sharpshooter but gets kicked into the referee. Of course Sweet Chin Music connects a few seconds later but there’s no one to count. Cue HHH (erg) for a Pedigree to Shawn (Benoit didn’t see it) to give Benoit the retaining pin.

Rating: B+. Dang it they had me believing that HHH might actually stay out of the main event scene for a few weeks. This is either leading to HHH vs. Shawn (again) or Shawn wanting ONE MORE TITLE MATCH (again) because that’s the only way the World Title scene seems to be able to go for Benoit. HHH and Shawn need to just stay far apart for a long time but that’s not going to happen anytime soon, because they need to take over the show again and again.

HHH laughs to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. What more can you ask for? The very good Eugene sequence, two very good to great matches and setting things up for later on. There’s very little that they’re not doing anything at the moment and it’s almost hard to believe that this is Raw. I’m not used to having a show where I can’t make fun of that much but they’re managing to do it as of late.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: April 29, 2004
Location: Ford Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

I can get through this. The last few weeks have been some of the most dreadful wrestling shows I can remember in a long time so I’m hoping that things are at least marginally better this time around. I’m not sure what you can expect here, but it’s hard to imagine the show getting much worse. You know, because saying that has never gotten me in trouble before. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle, in a leg cast and a wheelchair (pushed by a rather intimidating looking man) to open things up. After a little effort, Angle and his wheelchair (with a red white and blue back in the pattern of the French flag) are brought into the ring for a chat. Angle is rather emotional and says that he’ll never wrestle again because his knee is injured beyond repair.

The fans seem rather pleased with the news and Angle makes it better by saying his internal injuries are irreversible. His life is all over but nothing was going to stop him from being here tonight. The one thing he knows for sure is that the people are to blame for all of his problems. He came out here and the fans chanted YOU SUCK. Angle thought the circumstances would make things different but the people harbor this sick environment. He shouldn’t be alive and now he’s being ridiculed.

This is Big Show and Torrie Wilson’s fault so Angle demands that she come out here, without music. Angle blames her for all of this and tells the man (named Luther) to bring her over here. It must be nice to be perfect like her but she’s pathetic. Due to what she did, Angle can’t even have sex with his wife while she parades around all perfect. Therefore, he’s changing the rules on her as well. Tonight, her match with Rene Dupree is now No DQ.

Rene Dupree vs. Torrie Wilson

No DQ and Fifi is black this week. Dupree waistlocks her down to start so Torrie gets in a sunset flip. A bunch of slaps just make Rene slam her and here’s John Cena to go after Dupree for the no contest in about a minute. What a great use of TV time this was and we’re only about a fourth of the way through the show.

Post break and post recaps, Rene rants to Angle and gets a US Title shot at Judgment Day.

Cruiserweight Title: Nunzio vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Post match Jr. says he’s bored and needs new competition. Therefore, next week, anyone who wants one can have a title shot, provided he’s never beaten them before.

We look back at the Dudleys turning on Rob Van Dam last week and Paul Heyman declaring it a good start.

Here’s a serious Van Dam for a chat. He wants the Dudleys out here right now but gets Heyman instead. Heyman says it wasn’t personal last week because Van Dam just happened to be in the ring. It could have been Vince McMahon himself because it just would have been the same result. Van Dam needs to be care what he wishes for because it’s going to be Heyman’s Dudleys, not the lovable ones. Cue the Dudleys through the crowd and the beatdown is on until Eddie Guerrero makes the save.

Booker T. is ready to slap the dead off the Undertaker.

Heyman leaves Angle’s office and tonight it’s the Dudley (which is going to mean Bubba because that’s all that makes sense) vs. Eddie. Egads who looked at last week’s show and thought it was worthy of a sequel? Don’t worry about Van Dam because he’s banned from ringside.

Mordecai is still coming. For some reason, this isn’t on the Network.

Booker T. vs. Billy Gunn

You have Booker T. on the roster and we’re watching JBL and the Dudley Boyz fighting the World Champion. I don’t even know what to say about that so we’ll move on to Cole saying how interesting this is because they’re both great tag wrestlers. Tazz: “It’s a singles match.” Gunn punches away to start so Booker kicks him in the face. A neckbreaker gives Booker two and another kick to the face puts Billy down again. Gunn scores with a suplex and the One and Only (cobra clutch slam) gets two. The Fameasser and the Book End both miss but Booker avoids a Stinger Splash. An ax kick gives Booker the pin.

Rating: D. Just a bunch of kicking and punching here as Booker’s “I’m a star” deal isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. That being said, he does at least have some star power and is a solid upper midcard act, making him one of the better people on this roster. The show is just so weak on talent and Booker is one of the few bright sports.

Post match here are Undertaker and Paul Bearer, though Booker actually stays in the ring. With the ring full of smoke, Booker says this isn’t happening tonight and goes to leave. Instead he grabs the urn and knocks Undertaker down before leaving through the crowd, taking the urn with him.

Post break, Angle makes Undertaker vs. Booker for Judgment Day. Neither Angle nor Undertaker have wrestled since Wrestlemania, but Angle can’t do it ever again. Undertaker doesn’t appreciate that so next week, he’s wrestling a to be announced opponent. Angle as the bitter boss isn’t quite working yet.

Raw ReBound. I wouldn’t point out how much better that show was than this one.

Rico and Jackie have stolen Charlie Haas’ trunks so Charlie has to wrestle in Rico’s gear. The words “come out” are used over and over.

Shawn Michaels and company welcomed some troops home in Texas. This goes on for awhile.

Tag Team Titles: Rico/Charlie Haas vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are challenging and Charlie is in Rico’s gear. It’s funny you see. Doug makes Danny start with Rico with Rico blowing him a kiss. A lockup lets Rico get in a few spanks as Charlie is nearly sick. Doug comes in and get ridden around, followed by Charlie coming in and winding up behind him in the exact position you would expect. Rico spanks him a few more times and Doug runs away as Charlie looks sicker than earlier. The fans want home state Charlie in so Rico “comically” brings him in.

Danny makes a blind tag and sends Charlie into the post as the match turns into something normal for once. The Bashams start working on the arm with Doug driving his shoulder into Charlie’s until a backdrop gets Haas out of trouble. The hot tag brings in Rico for the variety of kicks to the head. Tazz: “Shades of Bruce Lee there.” Charlie tags himself and Rico kisses Danny into a German suplex to retain the titles.

Rating: D. Jim Cornette is crying over this one and I can’t say I blame him. He spent years turning these guys into stars down in OVW and this is what they get on the main roster. I’m still somewhat convinced that WWE decided to ruin these guys for the sake of annoying him/showing that they’re smarter than their own developmental. How else can you make sense of people like Rico or what the Bashams were just a few months ago?

We look back at Dupree and Cena earlier.

Judgment Day rundown. All three announced matches.

JBL is in New York to look at the Statue of Liberty and talk about how legal immigrants come to America this way. Eddie Guerrero and his family snuck across the border though and it’s a cancer that must be destroyed. Oh and poor people suck too. So let me make sure I’ve got this straight. We have a guy from Texas who brags about how awesome New York City it while pushing ideas that the deep south would probably love, despite not being fans of people from the north, as in New York City. Brilliance!

Eddie Guerrero vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Non-title with Heyman and Angle at ringside. D-Von’s early distraction lets Bubba score with a clothesline and the right hands in the corner begin. A headscissors gets Eddie out of trouble and a middle rope crossbody gets two. Bubba ties him in the Tree of Woe for a few loud chops though as Angle smiles evily.

Back up and Eddie sends Bubba outside for the plancha onto both Dudleys as we take a break. We come back with Eddie fighting out of a sleeper but getting punched back into the corner. Bubba gets two off a neckbreaker and grabs a headscissors on the mat of all things. Of course Bubba misses the middle rope backsplash and Eddie hits two of the Three Amigos.

The ref gets bumped and Bubba hits the Bubba Bomb for no cover. Another attempt is countered into a DDT to give Eddie two so Heyman gets on the apron. Somehow the referee doesn’t notice D-Von going up for the Doomsday Device but Eddie victory rolls Bubba for the pin.

Rating: D+. It was slightly better than last week thanks to being a few minutes shorter and because Bubba is a better singles wrestler than D-Von but it’s still nowhere near good enough to be the main event. On top of that, they’re doing this mini feud with the Dudleys before we get to the JBL match, probably because they know how bad the JBL feud really is. Not a terrible match, but another boring one.

Post match the beatdown is on until Van Dam comes in for the saves. Stereo frog splashes hit the Dudleys and Angle makes the tag match for next week.

Overall Rating: D-. And somehow, that’s an upgrade. Just having Van Dam joining in at the end gave the show a little bit more of a spark, but having the Dudleys and JBL as the top heel wrestlers is death to the show. The whole show is so boring and there’s nothing that’s going to fix it anytime soon. It’s getting harder and harder to watch the show and things are likely only going to get worse. Just….be better. Please? Like, maybe a decent match for a change? Is that too much to ask for?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 26, 2004
Location: Landon Arena, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

They don’t have to go far to beat Smackdown this week. We’re still a week away from the big Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit title match so you can probably bet on a lot of hype for that one tonight. Other than that Edge and Benoit are the new Tag Team Champions and Evolution won’t be happy. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Shawn challenging Benoit last week and Benoit and Edge winning the titles.

Opening sequence.

Lita/Victoria vs. Gail Kim/Molly Holly

Lita is especially smiley this week while Molly’s hair is now longer, brown and curly. Victoria and Gail start things off and it’s a very early dancing moonsault (again with the camera facing Victoria’s front) for two. Molly comes in for a quickly broken cravate so it’s off to Gail to keep beating on Victoria. An elbow knocks Lita off the apron and Gail grabs a Black Widow to take Victoria down. That’s broken up pretty quickly and the hot tag brings in Lita to clean house. A spinning belly to back suplex gets two on Gail and Molly loses the wig. Molly sends Victoria into the barricade, leaving Lita to DDT Gail for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not terrible as they take care of the issue from Backlash. It’s not like the women’s division means anything at the moment (and it hasn’t for years) so having the women trade wins don’t exactly help or hurt anything. They kept it short here and nothing was terribly botched so that’s about all you can ask for.

Post match Molly beats up Lita some more but here’s Kane of all people to interrupt. Just like last week Lita isn’t smart enough to roll under the bottom rope and get out so Kane strokes her cheek and smells her neck. She finally runs away and, after a break, runs into Matt Hardy in the back. Matt says he’s facing Kane tonight and he’ll take care of her. Kane shows up and beats Matt down as Lita wisely runs for a change.

Post break HHH goes into Bischoff’s office and yells at a plant (as in a potted plant) about wanting Tajiri tonight. Eric leaves and HHH yells at the empty room. Because he can’t see.

Rob Conway vs. Rhyno

Eugene and William Regal show up at commentary. Eugene: “French Canadians! Pat Patterson first Intercontinental Champion Rio de Janeiro 1979!” JR to Lawler: “You didn’t even know that.” The USA chants begin and Eugene joins in before heading down next to the Titantron for some cartwheels. Rhyno gets two off a belly to belly but gets thrown over the top.

Conway chokes on the ropes as Eugene has stolen some popcorn and come back to commentary. Regal: “No don’t put that in your ear!” Conway gets two off a kick to the ribs and the referee is nearly jumping as he counts the two. Eugene is over in the tech area as Conway whips Rhyno into the corner and gets two off a clothesline. Some pyro goes off thanks to Eugene pushing buttons, allowing Rhyno to hit a Gore (the only significant offense of the match) for the pin.

Rating: D. The wrestling was just a backdrop for the Eugene stuff but it feels like innocent, harmless fun. That’s the way they should be treating him and Regal as the funny straight man is the perfect foil. This was a lot of fun and I’m starting to remember why I was a big fan of the guy back in the day.

Post break La Resistance wants to fight Eugene tonight but Regal says that can’t happen. Johnny Nitro makes Eugene vs. Conway in two weeks.

Edge and Benoit are cut off by Shawn, who reminds him of their match next week. Shawn leaves and Edge wants Benoit to stay focused on tonight.

Here are Christian, Trish Stratus and Tyson Tomko for a chat before a match. Christian talks about Jericho being a problem and needing a problem solver.

Christian vs. Grandmaster Sexay

Sexay gets jumped to start as JR goes back to the 1800s for insults about Trish. A flapjack lets Sexay dance a bit and a middle rope dropkick gets two. The reverse DDT is broken up and a cactus crossbody puts them both on the floor. Back in and Tomko offers a distraction to break up the Hip Hop Drop. The Unprettier gives Christian the easy pin.

Post match Tomko kicks Sexay in the face but Jericho’s music hits. Tomko is sent into the aisle but Jericho comes in through the crowd and gets Trish in the Walls for all of two seconds.

HHH vs. Tajiri

HHH, with a somewhat green face, is still wiping his eyes and hammers away to start. Tajiri gets choked on the mat as the fans remind HHH that he tapped out. Some kicks knock HHH down and the handspring elbow gets two as the fans are already into this one. That’s enough to send HHH outside for a breather but Tajiri smacks him in the face and sends him head first into the steps. HHH gets back in at nine and the Buzzsaw kick is blocked.

Tajiri kicks away even more but walks into the spinebuster as Lawler makes more and more jokes about Tajiri’s accent. A hard whip sends Tajiri into the corner but he’s right back with a spinwheel kick. The Octopus Hold is countered by a HHH hiptoss and the Tarantula doesn’t go on full. Instead Tajiri goes with a missile dropkick that knocks HHH into the referee. The mist misses though and the Pedigree finally finishes Tajiri.

Rating: C+. This was much better than I was expecting with Tajiri working hard and HHH actually giving him a lot. You don’t see a midcarder going move for move like this with a top star very often and it makes for a very refreshing match. HHH didn’t lose anything here and Tajiri looked better than he has in a long time. Now why can’t we get something like this a little more often?

We recap the Lita/Kane/Matt Hardy stuff.

Kane vs. Matt Hardy

Matt, who always meets his deadlines, can barely walk to the ring. Kane wastes no time in beating him down and chokes on the ropes. A whip sends Matt chest first into the buckle and there’s the chokeslam. Kane chokeslams him again but Lita runs in to save Matt from the Tombstone. Lita lets him kiss her and Kane walks out. Angle instead of a match.

Victoria tried to get people to vote.

Lawler is in the ring to promote the Divas Magazine, because he’s the only one you could get to talk about the thing. We see some shots on the Titantron and here’s Stacy Keibler to help things out. What is she doing here you ask? Meeting Harley Race, sitting in the front row, of course. Therefore cue Randy Orton as JR panics. Orton says he’s the only real legend around here and has already accomplished more than Race has in his whole career. Race shaking his head is worth a chuckle and Orton goes out to spit on him. That draws Race over the barricade but Shelton Benjamin (hey he’s still here) to jump Orton for the save.

Smackdown Rebound. That show needs no more attention.

Batista and Flair want their titles back. Apparently Batista hasn’t been able to sleep since losing the titles and that will NEVER happen again. He screams everything he says here but does earn himself a WOO.

Tag Team Titles: Ric Flair/Batista vs. Edge/Chris Benoit

Benoit and Edge are defending and Edge still has a cast on his hand. Flair and Benoit hit the mat for an early standoff with Flair slicking the hair back. With the technical stuff not interesting him, Benoit chops in the corner and hits a backdrop. Flair goes for the leg (well duh) and it’s already off to Batista. Edge comes in as well and stomps the big man down in the corner until the running clothesline takes his head off.

Flair comes back in and gets taken down into a weird looking half crab (Edge is turned halfway around instead of facing backwards), followed by a Figure Four as tends to be required in Flair matches. Of course Flair knows the counter so it’s back to Benoit for more chops and a Flair Flop (earning some appreciative applause). Benoit chops him so much that it’s a second Flop but Edge walks into an atomic drop.

A knee to the back sends Edge hard into the corner and Batista sends the bad hand into the steps as we take a break. Back with Edge sending Batista face first into the buckle and the hot tag bringing in Benoit. They’re not wasting time with this one. Everything breaks down and Flair is clotheslined to the floor, leaving Batista to take the rolling German suplexes. The Swan Dive sets up the Crossface but Flair is back in for the save.

We settle back into the standard operating procedure here with Flair tossing Benoit into the corner and Batista adds a suplex. The half crab keeps Benoit in trouble and Flair gets two off a chop. You don’t chop with Benoit so Flair takes him down by the legs to bring Batista back in. An enziguri gets Benoit out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Edge. Everything breaks down again and Batista spinebusts Benoit. That allows Flair to load up the Figure Four, only to eat the spear to retain the titles.

Rating: B. Hot tag match here with a clean finish, which is a lot more than I was expecting. They’re rolling with the idea of longer wrestling matches at the moment and that makes for a very fun ending like this one. Edge and Benoit’s roll continues and Edge’s feud with Kane is forgotten more every week, thank goodness.

Post match HHH comes in to beat the Canadians down but here’s Shawn for the save with a chair. He hits Benoit by mistake (dun dun dun) and that’s not cool with Edge. They calm down but Benoit is up with the Sharpshooter to Shawn to end the show. Good way to set up next week’s title match.

Overall Rating: B-. There’s some stuff on here that isn’t as entertaining as the rest but it’s such an easy show to watch and they’re making it a lot of fun every single week. Above all else they’re not just focusing on one or two things and leaving the rest out to dry. Build up the entire show and the good parts will look even better as a result. If you happen to get something fun like Eugene as a bonus, it’s even better. Another good show this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 22, 2004
Location: Prospera Palace, Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

So last week saw what should probably be the death of Kurt Angle after Big Show chokeslammed him off a balcony, breaking both Angle’s head and leg. Other than that we’re still getting ready for JBL’s World Title shot against champion Eddie Guerrero, which isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the chokeslam with Show suddenly being a slasher movie stalker who threatened to kill Torrie Wilson.

Cole and Tazz list off Angle’s injuries, including a broken leg, a severe concussion and internal injuries. No word on the BIG POOL OF BLOOD under his head? Or is that part of the concussion?

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T.

Thank goodness Booker has dropped the remixed version of his theme and has gone back to the original. Rob dives on him before the bell and the fight is on in a hurry. They head inside for the opening bell with Rob nailing the step over spinning kick and choking in the corner. Booker gets sent outside again and comes back inside, only to get clotheslined to the floor one more time.

As Cole continues to panic about the lack of a General Manager tonight (Then who made this match?), Booker gets in his own kick to the face and you can hear the fans lose some of their energy. A chinlock doesn’t last long as Rob breaks it up with a suplex and hits the middle rope kick to the face. Three straight legdrops have Booker in trouble as Rob keeps looking at the entrance. Rolling Thunder connects but some pyro goes off to break up the Five Star. Booker rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D+. It was fun while it lasted but this didn’t have the time to go anywhere, especially with the finish. You would think that last week’s DQ and then this week’s cheap finish would set up a pay per view match and it’s not like they have anything else to fill up the Judgment Day card in the first place. Not long enough to go anywhere but the long form match last week wasn’t exactly a classic anyway.

The pyro brings out Paul Heyman, who is in charge for one night only. After a break, he gets in the ring and says that Van Dam has a Thursday night show because Heyman built this show up in the first place. He’s already built up one brand and prostituted its legacy, meaning ECW. Rob would know about that as he’s ruined its legacy more than anyone else.

This brings out the Dudley Boyz with Bubba getting in Heyman’s face, saying that anything Heyman has to say to Rob about ECW can be said to the two of them as well. Heyman says they’ve become self parodies too, which is why he never tried to get the Dudleys on Smackdown.

When they left ECW, they became caricatures of their former selves. When did they do something extreme or newsworthy that people were talking about it the next day? At least Tazz got out of the ring when it was time so they should follow his lead. Now Bubba and D-Von are just Vince McMahon’s domesticated pets. That’s enough to get the Dudleys to beat down Rob with a low blow leaving him laying. Heyman says that was just a good start. You can only be so extreme in yellow camo shorts and Bubba has long since hit that ceiling.

Tag Team Titles: Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi vs. Charlie Haas/???

Scotty and Rikishi are defending and Charlie’s mystery partner is….Rico. Well of course it is because why make Haas into something of value? Rico and Rikishi start and you can almost guarantee that their time as Tag Team Champions won’t be mentioned whatsoever. Rikishi (who looks weird without wrist tape) sends Rico into the corner so Rico bends over in front of him.

Rikishi does the same so Rico tries a waistlock, which freaks the big man out. For some reason Rico tries a sunset flip so Rikishi spanks himself, only to have Rico do it as well. It’s off to Scotty and that means some ballroom dancing. Scotty tries to skin the cat and gets spanked as well before it’s off to Charlie with a limp wristed tag. Things settle down a bit until Charlie gets crotched on the post (Cole: “Rico’s not gonna like this!”). A double noggin knocker puts Charlie in even more trouble but Rico’s distraction lets him send Scotty into the buckle.

Rico comes back in for a suggestive rollup and gets kicked to the corner for a tag right back to Charlie. A few clotheslines send Charlie into the corner for the Stinkface….but Rico takes his place, making sure to put on Jackie’s lip balm first. Rikishi obliges and Rico needs a cigarette. Scotty loads up the Worm but Rico kisses him as Jackie grabs Rikishi from behind. The distracted Scotty gets rolled up for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D-. This was as good as it was going to be and the “comedy” was still unfunny. To be fair though, it’s not like the titles had any value in the first place so putting them on another makeshift comedy team isn’t exactly a death sentence. Just get them onto the Dudleys and be done with it already because they’re the only team of value on the show.

Long recap of Big Show losing his job and then his mind before Angle lost his healthy leg and a lot of blood.

JBL apologizes for something that happened earlier today at the airport. Apparently he ran into El Gran Luchador, the Heavyweight Champion of Mexico, and got challenged to a match tonight. The match is next, but first Heyman announces Eddie Guerrero vs. the Dudley. Which one? It doesn’t matter, as they look alike.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. El Gran Luchador

Luchador is a masked man with a Women’s Title painted red, white and green and played by Paul London. JBL shoves him down to start as the fans chant for MEXICO. A right hand puts Luchador down again and a delayed vertical suplex has JBL smiling. Luchador stops a charge in the corner with a raised boot and snaps off a headscissors.

A moonsault press gives Luchador two but JBL throws him down with the Last Call. JBL channels his inner Tito Santana with an ARRIBA, puts out an invisible cigarette on Luchador’s back and powerbombs the heck out of him….for two. He puts the unconscious Luchador’s arm on his chest for two more, followed by the Clothesline From JBL for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was perfect for you fans who have always wanted to see Bradshaw smiling a lot while beating up the most generic luchador this side of a Canadian named Sami. It wasn’t even the worst match I’ve ever seen or anything but it was really boring with the same Bradshaw offense that wasn’t been anything special in the entirety of his time with the APA. I mean, I know he has a radio show but that’s not exactly enough to make up for everything else.

It’s time for the Cafe de Rene with an accordion player and a mini Eiffel Tower. He doesn’t like the fans being happy about Angle’s injuries so it’s time to teach them some class. That brings him to his guest: Torrie Wilson. Tazz: “Hot women, poodles and accordions.” Rene pours her some wine and mentions the Divas Magazine before going into an interrogation about last week.

Why was she laughing about Big Show losing his job? It’s her fault that Angle isn’t here enjoying wine. He gets out of his chair and yells more, saying Torrie is everything wrong with North American women who need men to do everything. A comparison to Fifi is enough to get Rene slapped in the face so he picks her up, drawing in John Cena for the save and wreck the set.

John Cena vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr./Chavo Guerrero Sr.

Jr. starts for the team, which is the best option they have. You know, of the two. Cena slams him down a few times without much effort and it’s already time for a breather. Back in and Cena scores with a shoulder but Sr.’s distraction lets Jr. get in a few shots. A knee to the back sets up a dropkick to give Jr. two and it’s Sr. coming in for some stomping.

That’s it for Papa Guerrero as Jr. is back in to work on the ribs. A rather vocal CENA chant doesn’t get him out of trouble as the rapid tagging and forearms to the back continue. Cena fights back without much effort but Sr. breaks up the FU. Sr. takes it instead but Jr. knocks Cena outside. Cue Dupree to post Cena though and it’s a brainbuster to give Jr. the pin.

Rating: D. It wasn’t a clean loss, but my goodness the idea of Dupree getting the first shot at the US Title is a bit much. He really does show how little depth there is to Smackdown at the moment, or maybe just how worthless May’s pay per view is going to be. Cena is exploding at the moment, but he needs something better to do.

In the back, Heyman makes Torrie vs. Dupree for next week.

Mordecai is coming to clean WWE of impurity. He says the day of judgment draws near, which should mean his debut.

Here’s Booker T. for a chat. He’s the biggest star here on Smackdown and every one of the suckers here knows it. Those same suckers who cheered him just a few months ago are now asking him why. He went from being a star on Raw to being a mega star here on Smackdown. Now it’s time to bring everyone up to his level because he’s the best thing ever on Smackdown. Pretty soon he’ll be the most famous man in America….and there goes the gong. Booker shows off his intelligence and bails through the crowd without Undertaker actually appearing.

Raw ReBound.

We recap the Tag Team Title change.

Rico is very happy with the titles and grabs a handful of Charlie. He thinks it was Jackie, but then realizes what really happened.

Eddie Guerrero vs. D-Von Dudley

Non-title with Heyman at ringside. Which Dudley it was is treated as a big deal with Bubba starting but D-Von jumps Eddie from behind to actually wrestle the match. You know, because it totally matters here. A backdrop puts Eddie down and a trip to the floor lets Bubba get in a clothesline.

Back in and a delayed suplex gives D-Von two, followed by the neck crank. It’s almost like D-Von has nothing special for offense and shouldn’t be in a long form singles match. Eddie low bridges him to the floor where Bubba offers a distraction, setting up the double countout. And never mind as before I can finish typing that, Heyman says we’re still going. Cole: “This atrocity is going to continue!” Dude it’s been about five minutes and Eddie wasn’t exactly hanging on by his fingertips.

We take a break and come back with Eddie suplexing his way out of a belly to back suplex. A super hurricanrana gives Eddie two but D-Von gets his neckbreaker out of the corner. The sleeper goes on and Bubba yells at fans. With Heyman standing in front of commentary, Cole talks about how Heyman hasn’t said a word all match….as he’s talking to Bubba. It takes talent to be as stupid as Cole really is.

Eddie finally gets out of the sleeper and avoids a middle rope elbow but D-Von is right there to break up the frog splash. A superplex gives D-Von two but Eddie starts his dancing comeback. The interfering Bubba is brought in so D-Von grabs a small package with Bubba holding the foot to pin Eddie. This would be the second match in a row where a champion is pinned thanks to interference.

Rating: D. I feel like I need a nap after watching that match. D-Von is part of a tag team for a reason: he’s not very interesting on his own. There’s not much that Eddie can do when his opponent’s big move in a fifteen minute match is a neckbreaker. I’m not sure why the Dudley Boyz are supposed to be the new monster team, as it’s just them with a heel turn. I need a lot more than that.

Post match JBL comes in to powerbomb Eddie. The Clothesline From JBL ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. That main event is a great allegory for the whole show’s problems right now. There is talent on the roster but they need better people to work with them. Cena vs. Dupree, Eddie vs. JBL and the less entertaining version of Too Cool vs. the latest oddball combination isn’t exactly my idea of a good show. There’s nothing on here worth seeing and I’m really not sure I see that changing for a very long time. Sometimes you’ll see a show rise up to overcome its lack of talent but this one ran in the other direction and was dragged down. Horrible week and one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen from Smackdown.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 19, 2004
Location: Saddledome, Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Backlash and that means it’s time to start the long road to Bad Blood in June as May is Smackdown’s turn. Chris Benoit retained the World Title in another classic triple threat match while Randy Orton survived against Cactus Jack in the match that should elevate him to the next level. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Backlash if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Chris Jericho vs. Christian

Now that’s how you open things up. Lilian Garcia adds another town to Jericho’s list of homes, billing him from Winnipoga, Manitoba, Canada. Christian has Trish Stratus with him and….egads man. That’s one of the better looks she’s ever had, which is quite a list to top. They fight over a lockup to start but shove each other away for a staredown. Christian slaps him in the face so Jericho punches him in his, which seems to be a little more effective.

A middle rope dropkick gives Jericho two and it’s off to the pinfall reversal sequence. You don’t do that to Jericho, who tries for the Walls. Trish comes in for the save and that means another spank. As Lawler calls that sexual harassment, Jericho dives onto the two of them as we take a break. Back with Jericho going face first into the steps, allowing Trish to slap him in the face.

The Chick Kick knocks Jericho into a chinlock until the standard comeback gets him out. A running crotch attack to the back looks to set up the Lionsault but Jericho settles for the Flashback instead. Christian’s reverse DDT (not the Unprettier JR) gets two and he heads up top.

That takes a little too long though and a butterfly superplex gives Jericho two of his own. Christian is right back with a super reverse DDT but the Texas Cloverleaf doesn’t work. Trish gets in a cheap shot but her slap hits Christian, setting up the enziguri. Now it’s Trish getting in to break up the count so Jericho loads up the Walls, only to have a big bald tattooed man come in and kick Jericho in the face to give Christian the pin.

Rating: B. Nice match here and the addition of a monster can help advance the feud. Jericho won last night so it makes sense to have Christian get his win back here. It’s a good idea to bring in some more people to keep the feud going, which is something that modern wrestling just doesn’t understand a lot of the time.

Post break, Christian introduces Trish to her new problem solver: Tyson Tomko. Chris Benoit’s music cuts off the end of the segment, which really shouldn’t be the case for a pre-tape.

Here’s Benoit to celebrate retaining the title. Benoit talks about every wrestling fan and historian knowing about the Dungeon right here in Calgary. Eighteen years ago, Stu Hart springboarded his career into professional wrestling and that’s why he’s here today. Benoit wishes Stu was here so he could thank him and we pause for a STU chant. Ever since he left the Dungeon, Benoit has been told that he can’t win the big one and he’s proven them wrong.

Then he won the Royal Rumble and went on to become World Heavyweight Champion at Wrestlemania XX by making HHH tap out. Then he was told it was a fluke so last night he made Shawn Michaels tap too. Cue Shawn because this still isn’t over. The fans remind him that he screwed Bret before Shawn talks about how he’s always believed in Benoit. We see a clip of Shawn pinning him clean two months ago so he wants another title shot.

Benoit says let’s do it right now but here are Eric Bischoff and Johnny Nitro to cut them off. Calgary doesn’t deserve that match so let’s do it in two weeks instead. Therefore in two weeks in Phoenix (with Johnny pulling out a PDA to make sure of where the show is taking place), much to the fans’ annoyance. They shake hands and talk some trash. There’s your non-pay per view main event.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Victoria is defending and Molly’s wig now has short hair. An early clothesline gives Molly two but she gets monkey flipped down. The apron clothesline drops Molly again as they’re certainly starting fast. Back in and the dancing moonsault gets two….and there goes the wig. A lot of her hair has grown back to the point where she looks like she just got a very short haircut and is in no way bald anymore. That’s too far for Molly, who chokes Victoria down and gets disqualified.

A white limousine arrives and it’s….Evolution, with Batista throwing his belt over his shoulder and hitting Flair in the head. HHH hears about Shawn getting the World Title shot in two weeks and says that’s his match.

Kane says there has been a problem of late. He’s shown compassion and it has made him weak. Tonight, he feasts on fear and suffering and someone will be sacrificed. This might be better if he hadn’t lost last night.

Bischoff and Nitro are scared about Kane when William Regal comes in. He’s already tired of being stressed over Eugene and isn’t a glorified babysitter. Bischoff is more worried about where Eugene is now but Regal says he hasn’t seen him since a game of hide and seek went awry earlier today (seriously). That’s not cool with Bischoff, who says Regal either take care of Eugene or Regal gets to face Kane tonight.

Here’s a cut up Randy Orton for a chat. Mick Foley promised to shut him up last night but that didn’t happen. Last night was the biggest win of his career and he wants to thank Foley for what he did. We get a quick RANDY chant before Orton talks about all the things that Foley did to him last night that the fans loved.

Everyone loved it when he was thrown into the pile of tacks but then it was the RKO onto the barbed wire bat that put Foley away. After Orton won though, he turned into something new. Last night he entered the ring as the Hardcore Legend and the Legend Killer (So he wants to kill himself?) but left as a living legend.

Cue Edge to interrupt and he’s tired of hearing Orton run his mouth for the last fourteen months. Edge doesn’t like Orton and wants him to spit on him just like Foley. That’s a big no, because Orton is tired and sore, but Edge isn’t worth it anyway. The fight is on but Batista and Flair come in to take Edge out.

Benoit makes the save but HHH comes in to beat him down as well. Evolution leaves them laying and poses on the stage but here are Bischoff and Nitro to make Edge/Benoit vs. Flair/Batista for the Tag Team Titles tonight. Orton looked like a star here and that’s exactly the point of last night’s match.

Garrison Cade vs. Tajiri

Coach introduces Cade and sits in on commentary. Cade takes him into the corner to start but gets kicked in the face. The handspring elbow is broken up with a boot to the back as Coach brags about Cade’s expensive cowboy boot. Tajiri’s back gets bent around Cade’s knee and Cade slowly walks around. The delay allows Tajiri to hit the handspring elbow this time around and a superkick gets two. A Lionsault misses though and Cade drops a top rope elbow for the pin.

Rating: D+. Cade wasn’t terrible here but he wasn’t exactly thrilling either. Giving him the clean pin over Tajiri at least suggests a short term push for him, though I don’t know how far he’s going to be able to go. At least they’re trying something new and as soon as they can come up with a better name for him, he might have a chance of going somewhere.

SmackDown Rebound looks at Big Show losing his job, followed by losing his mind and threatening to kill Torrie. Instead he chokeslammed Kurt Angle off a balcony and left him in a pool of blood.

Eugene is in the arena with a t-shirt gun so let’s cut to the announcers to talk about the Tag Team Title match. Regal comes out to collect him and takes a shirt shot between the legs. Of course the selling is hilarious and the EUGENE chant is a good sign.

Benoit and Edge fire each other up before the title match.

Val Venis/Lita vs. Gail Kim/Matt Hardy

Fallout from both Heat and Backlash. No match as Matt, who has 44 different action figures and doesn’t like wasting time making his bed, gets followed to the ring by Kane, who beats up both guys as his sacrifice. He goes after Lita but Matt dives on her and takes the beating instead. Lita cowers in the corner like a nitwit instead of, you know, RUNNING AWAY FROM KANE.

Tag Team Titles: Edge/Chris Benoit vs. Ric Flair/Batista

Flair and Batista are defending. Benoit and Flair take turns driving each other into the corner to start until some chops have Flair in the corner. Edge comes in for a backdrop and fires off his own chops in the corner. It’s off to Batista who gets dropkicked into the ropes but Edge can’t knock him down. Instead Benoit comes in and takes him down with a snap suplex, which annoys Batista so much that he takes Edge’s head off with a clothesline.

Flair comes back in and works on an armbar for a bit. Edge spinwheel kicks his way out of trouble and it’s back to Benoit for more chops. Another snap suplex sets up the Sharpshooter but Benoit has to let it go to suplex Batista. With Batista gone, the Crossface has Flair in trouble but HHH comes out for a distraction. Batista spinebusters Benoit and we take a break.

Back with Batista hammering away on Benoit and slapping on a bearhug. Flair distracts the referee and HHH manages to get inside and choke away. We hit the rear naked choke from Batista until a belly to back suplex drops Benoit. Flair comes in and takes a German suplex, allowing the double hot tags to Edge and Batista. Everything breaks down and Edge punches his way out of the Batista Bomb. The Swan Dive hits Batista but HHH pulls Benoit out. Cue Michaels to superkick HHH as Edge spears Batista for the pin and the titles. JR: “Stu Hart has gotta be smiling!” Like Stu would ever let a long match air in full on TV.

Rating: C+. The ending continues the story they have going here and Edge felt much more like his pre-injury self here than what we’ve been seeing for the last few weeks. Let him be all fired up and clean house, which is what he does better than anything else. Benoit being a double champion in his hometown is a nice idea and a great way to send the fans home happy. Not a bad match either.

Overall Rating: C. Nothing great here but a perfectly watchable show that advanced the stories forward and let us have a pretty fun night of wrestling. The problem with the main event scene would be that Shawn and HHH won’t leave Benoit alone but it’s not like there’s anyone else to fight him. Orton and Batista aren’t ready and Flair wouldn’t feel like a threat. That doesn’t leave many options, but it’s pretty clear who is up next. Anyway, nice show as they leave Canada with a fun evening. Oh and where was Shelton Benjamin? Not seen once all night and only mentioned in passing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6