IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 24, 2004
Location: Metro Centre, Rockford, Illinois
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Bad Blood and we now have a World Title match. Last week saw Kane win a battle royal to become the new #1 contender to Chris Benoit’s World Title, but you know full well that won’t be the show’s biggest match. In the same battle royal, Shawn Michaels interfered to cost HHH his title shot. I think you know where this is going. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of everything I just said.

Eric Bischoff is in HHH’s locker room where HHH demands that Shawn be reinstated. Bischoff has already done that and announces the match between HHH and Shawn at Bad Blood. That’s fine with Shawn, who can have anything he wants. Bischoff leaves and HHH yells at Evolution, saying he wants some unity tonight.

Ric Flair vs. Edge

Orton is here with Flair, who starts with some strutting. They take turns hitting each other in the corner until Edge takes over with a backdrop. Flair gets sent to the floor and begs off back inside, only to get clotheslined down. Some right hands take Edge down and the knee drop gets two. Edge is right back up with some shots to the jaw and another backdrop but Flair pokes the eye. Even a blind Edge is able to knock him out of the air but Orton gets in a cheap shot to give Flair two. Cue Shelton Benjamin to take care of Orton, leaving Edge to spear Flair for the pin.

Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t much here but it gives us another step forward in Benjamin vs. Orton, which almost has to be the title match at Bad Blood. The perk of having a group like Evolution is you can throw a variety of people at them, including Edge and Shelton, both of whom are getting a nice rub as a result.

HHH and Batista are waiting on Shawn.

Earlier today, Vince McMahon had a bunch of women behind him to announce a reality show called the $250,000 Raw Diva Search. Have fun meeting the new generation that brought the women’s division down to new depths.

We look back at last week when Lita said yes to Kane.

Matt tries to find out what Lita was saying yes to but she still won’t say. They haven’t talked all week and he’s been worried about her. She’s been thinking about him and realizes she loves him. They kiss, and she wants to show him how much she loves him. Lita goes into her locker room to get her bag and finds (in addition to a camera waiting) Kane. Apparently something has happened between them but Kane said it was over. He says it is indeed over, allowing Lita to leave, without telling Matt what happened.

HHH and Batista go to beat up….Steven Richards as he arrives by mistake. Batista is sent to check on the rest of Evolution and HHH kicks Richards one more time to let off some steam.

La Resistance vs. Rosey/Hurricane

During the entrances, we’re told that Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young will be on the Tonight Show. I NEED to see this….I think. Rosey throws Conway to the floor to start and it’s off to Hurricane for a middle rope legdrop. Hurricane picks up the pace but gets low bridged out to the floor so the French beatdown can begin.

Conway works on an ankle twist until an enziguri gets Hurricane out of trouble. That’s enough for the hot tag to Rosey, who hits a running spinning legdrop on Grenier. Rosey rolls underneath a double clothesline (which you don’t see very often) and hits one of his own, allowing Hurricane to hit a high crossbody for two. The Shining Wizard misses though and Grenier gets in a cheap shot, setting up a rollup to finish Hurricane.

Rating: D+. Nothing wrong with a short match to get La Resistance over. Benoit and Edge need some regular teams to face and La Resistance, especially with Conway doing most of the work, is a perfectly fine choice. The match was short enough to not be too bad, though Hurricane and Rosey don’t have the same charm without their funny vignettes.

HHH is still waiting when Shawn pops up for the fight. Referees and security eventually break it up, though after both guys get in a few more shots.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel and Jericho is proud of himself for getting rid of Christian. The sexy beast is hot and so is his guest tonight. That would be Randy Orton, who is on fire right now. Orton comes out and Jericho praises him for holding the Intercontinental Title longer than anyone in the last seven years. Jericho lists off the names that Orton has killed, including Steve Austin, before moving on to Shelton Benjamin. That doesn’t do anything for Orton, because Benjamin is NOT getting a title shot.

That makes the next question obvious: why is Orton scared of Shelton? Orton doesn’t like that and it’s made even worse when Jericho cuts him off. Jericho says Shelton beat HHH and since HHH is a legend, Orton must want to face him. That’s too much for Orton, who wants to put Jericho on his list. The fight is on but Batista runs in. Cue Shelton for the save and I think you know where this is going, with Bischoff coming out to make the tag match.

Chris Jericho/Shelton Benjamin vs. Batista/Randy Orton

Joined in progress with Jericho headlocking Orton down and then turning it into a bow and arrow hold. Back up and a clothesline keeps Orton in trouble, which is made even worse by a tag to Shelton. Batista comes in as well and Shelton looks a bit nervous. Batista grabs him by the throat so Shelton kicks at the leg. That just earns him a heck of a clothesline and it’s Evolution taking over.

A neckbreaker gets Shelton out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Jericho to speed things up. The Walls are broken up so Jericho settles for a springboard dropkick to knock Batista off the apron. Now the Walls can go on but Batista makes the save, only to have Jericho dive onto both of them on the floor as we take a break. Back with Jericho in trouble, because that’s how WWE returns from commercials. Trish Stratus jumps in on commentary as Orton starts working on the arm.

Batista gets in his own arm cranking as Lawler keeps drooling over Trish. A crank of the arm cuts off Jericho’s comeback and it’s off to a shortarm scissors. Benjamin gets drawn in like a moron, allowing Batista to come in for a cross armbreaker. Jericho finally fights up and hits a springboard dropkick to drop Orton, setting up the hot tag to Benjamin.

House is cleaned as everything breaks down with a sunset flip getting two on Batista. That’s not cool with him though, so a hard clothesline takes Benjamin’s head off. Orton comes in and gets rammed into Batista for two off a rollup, followed by a powerslam for the same. Jericho cuts Batista off and it’s the exploder suplex to put Orton away.

Rating: B. Like I mentioned earlier, WWE can get miles out of this Evolution vs. everyone feud because they can do matches like this for months. Benjamin pinning Orton should be the logical way to set up the title match, which is the logical path for him after all those wins over HHH. Good match here, which is becoming commonplace on this show in this spot.

Post match Trish yells at Jericho, allowing Tyson Tomko to run Jericho over. Tomko powerbombs him through the announcers’ table for a bonus.

Here’s Kane to talk about how he’s envious of Chris Benoit for a variety of reasons. He wants to be the World Heavyweight Champion and live his dream life instead of a life of nightmares. That all changes at Bad Blood because he always gets what he wants.

Shawn is in Bischoff’s office, demanding that the match be the way he wants it. Bischoff agrees and here’s HHH to jump Shawn. Security finally breaks it up again.

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Non-title and Gail Kim is here with Molly. Victoria spends a lot of time dancing on the way to the ring, which isn’t the worst thing in the world for a variety of reasons. Molly wastes no time in sending her to the apron where Gail pulls Victoria face first onto the apron. Back in and Molly grabs a double fish hook as the announcers talk about the Diva Search. A reverse cravate goes on and Victoria stays in trouble. There’s a running flip neckbreaker for a slightly delayed two but Victoria grabs a backslide for the same. Gail gets knocked off the apron and the Widow’s Peak finishes Molly in a hurry.

Rating: D. The women’s division is a mess right now as Victoria has cleaned the whole thing out, aside from Trish. The other problem is the talent isn’t exactly being treated as anything special. Is there really any reason for these two to be fight other than what happened two months ago at Wrestlemania? We need something a little better than that.

Post match Gail jumps Victoria and is quickly taken down by a Widow’s Peak of her own.

Smackdown Rebound.

Bischoff tells Johnny Nitro to round up the roster to act as security tonight.

Post break, Bischoff gives the locker room a speech about getting control back. If they don’t help, they’re all fired. Chris Benoit should not be in the same crowd as Val Venis and Hurricane.

We look back at the Rock/Eugene/Coach segment from last week. Still awesome.

Eugene is running around like a plane as William Regal is starting to warm up to him. When asked about Rock, Eugene goes into IF YA SMELL and Regal seems proud. They’re teaming tonight but Nitro comes in to say Regal isn’t cleared and can’t wrestle tonight. That’s too far for Regal, but the threat of Bischoff means it’s going to be a handicap match, unless Eugene can find a partner. Regal gives him a brief pep talk and the tag match is next.

Jonathan Coachman/Garrison Cade vs. Eugene/???

Eugene needs a partner for THESE TWO? He has one anyway and it’s….Chris Benoit. Egads they’re attaching a rocket to Eugene and it’s kind of awesome. The shocked face on Coach and the elation from Eugene make this even better. Eugene grabs the titles and starts running around so Coach trips him, which isn’t cool with Benoit. The early chopping has Cade in trouble and there’s the snap suplex. Eugene comes in and takes Cade down with a headlock without even taking the jacket off.

Cade hits Coach by mistake so we’ll go with a crisscross, setting up “HEY! WHAT’S THAT?” and a chop to Cade’s head ala Chief Jay Strongbow. It’s back to Benoit, who gets chopped and clotheslined in the corner by Cade. Coach comes in and Lawler knows it’s not going to end well. Everything breaks down and it’s an airplane spin to Cade. Benoit rolls some German suplexes on Coach and drops the Swan Dive. Eugene gets to hit one of his own for the pin and another big reaction.

Rating: C. There’s something so easy to cheer for about someone who has no business being here but succeeds anyway. Eugene is such a ridiculous concept but WWE has turned it into one of the most well done concepts they’ve had in a long time. This was especially strange to see if you watched Eugene in OVW, where he was basically a Benoit clone, down to using the rolling German suplexes and Crossface as his finishers.

Shawn and HHH are at it again. Good grief get a ring already.

Here’s HHH for the big showdown to end the show. He wastes no time in calling Shawn out so the fight is on. Shawn gets the better of it but has to deal with Evolution. Benoit and Edge come take care of the extras so here are some goons to try and break it up. Shawn gets in the dive onto the pile so more guys come out and finally separate them. Bischoff makes the big announcement of Hell in a Cell at Bad Blood. More brawling ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I’m having flashbacks to being a huge Eugene fan back in the day and it’s helping to fuel this string of very good shows. They’re building up new and actually interesting characters instead of slapping an ugly coat of paint on someone who wasn’t that great in the first place. It’s no surprise that Raw is smashing Smackdown every single week right now and why I’m really enjoying these shows week after week. Good stuff here, assuming you ignore the World Champion being treated like an upper midcard act with a non-existent feud with Kane for the pay per view. Fix that and the show is that much better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 20, 2004
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past Judgment Day now and that means…well not much actually as it was a one match show that ended in a DQ, likely setting up a rematch down the line. The show wasn’t exactly inspiring stuff but that’s the case for all of Smackdown at the moment. It’s a barren wasteland outside of Eddie Guerrero and John Cena so hopefully we get a lot of them tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are Sunday’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Eddie, in what looks to be a card from the 1930s, though of course with hydraulics included. He’s also got a duffle bag for a bonus. The fans are very glad to see him and…..OH MY GOODNESS THAT’S THE CUT ON HIS HEAD!!! I thought that was his hair being out of place because that’s the longest cut I’ve ever seen on a wrestler. Or on almost anyone for that matter.

Eddie says he was hurt on Sunday but he’s feeling better now that he’s in Las Vegas. JBL may have taken his blood on Sunday but Eddie is still WWE Champion. He’s also got a souvenir in the bag and it’s JBL’s cowboy hat, which is covered in his blood. Since that’s his blood, Eddie figures it’s not his hat and he can do whatever he wants with it. Eddie even has a stock tip for JBL. He should invest in bandages because tonight, they’re having a fight and it’s JBL’s turn to bleed.

Cue JBL, who is bandaged up as well. JBL makes sure he has it clear: he can have another title match tonight? Eddie: “Did you get too much blood in your ear holmes?” JBL says no and brags about winning on Sunday, so fighting Eddie again tonight is an unnecessary gamble. He didn’t become a millionaire by gambling because that’s how lazy people look for a quick buck.

Instead, Eddie needs to come down the aisle and hand over that WWE Championship. Eddie says he’ll hand JBL a beating but here’s Kurt Angle to cut them off. Kurt: “Well it’s official. Everybody has lost their minds.” Eddie isn’t allowed to make matches around here and he’s certainly not getting a rematch with JBL because he just wants to get himself disqualified again. JBL isn’t getting the title either, but tonight we’ll have JBL and the Dudleys vs. Eddie, Rey Mysterio and Rob Van Dam in a six man tag.

Rico/Charlie Haas vs. FBI

Non-title and it’s Nunzio/Johnny Stamboli for the Italians. Rico is the hometown boy and Jackie is….well my goodness and we’ll leave it at that. Charlie and Johnny start things off and Rico offers a quick spank from the apron. Apparently not a fan, Johnny press slams him but gets rolled up for two instead. Rico comes in legally and takes Johnny down into an armbar, complete with a little wiggling. It’s off to Nunzio, who comes in and gets spanked for his efforts.

Rico does it again so Nunzio takes him down and rams Rico’s head into the mat a few times. The FBI manages to screw up their advantage as Johnny can’t hit a clothesline even while Nunzio has Rico’s foot. Instead it’s the hot tag to Charlie to start cleaning house. Jackie grabs Nunzio’s foot so he tries to kiss her but gets Rico instead. In his search for mouthwash, Nunzio gets German suplexed for the pin.

Rating: D. It takes a lot to have Rico and Charlie seem lifeless but the FBI pulled it off. This wasn’t interesting or fun and you can tell the team is starting to run out of gas. That being said, there was no reason to believe Rico and Haas were going to be around for very long so you can probably bet on them losing the titles soon. This was pretty bad, though maybe it was just the FBI.

Stills of Chavo Guerrero Jr. regaining the Cruiserweight Title.

Tonight, Chavo defends the Cruiserweight Title against Spike Dudley and his father. Chavo Classic says he might win but Chavo doesn’t want to hear it because this is his time. So tell me: why couldn’t Spike have done the exact same story that Jacqueline did? How is it that much different?

Billy Kidman vs. Akio

The bell rings but here’s Mordecai, with the full entrance, to wreck them both instead. Fair enough, as the match didn’t exactly sound thrilling.

JBL gets his head examined and tells the doctor to not believe anything Eddie tells him. Wouldn’t that likely be the same doctor who stitched Eddie up in the first place? Eh just give him a z-pak and he’ll be fine.

US Title: Rene Dupree vs. John Cena

Cena is defending in a rematch from Sunday where he beat Dupree. They lock up to start with Cena throwing him off and Rene isn’t sure what to do. A shoulder works a bit better for Dupree but Cena is right back up with a slam for two. Cena slaps on a rare chinlock before stereo crossbodies put both guys down.

Back from a break with Cena going shoulder first into the post and falling to the floor. Dupree starts in on the shoulder and takes him down by the arm for two. The Fujiwara armbar goes on and it’s a long crawl for Cena to make the ropes. A regular armbar keeps the arm in trouble but Cena fights up with some backdrops.

Cena uses the good arm to pound away at Dupree’s face and they fight to the floor. Dupree can’t powerbomb him on the floor so Cena hits another backdrop and heads back inside. They go back out almost immediately (pick something already) and Dupree grabs the French flag. Cena takes it away and breaks it over his knee but Dupree kicks him low and wins via countout.

Rating: D+. It was worse than their pay per view match and that’s not a good sign given the extra time. There wasn’t the same level of efforts here and that showed badly this time around. I’m still not sure how many people buy Dupree as a challenger to the title but it’s not like Cena has anyone else to fight. I mean, Booker T. is busy jobbing to Undertaker, so who else is there already on that level?

Post match Dupree lays him out again and busts out the French Tickler, which is a great name for such an obnoxious dance.

We see/hear the chair shot to Eddie’s head on Sunday. Thankfully we don’t see the crazy gory blade job up close again.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Chavo Classic vs. Spike Dudley

Chavo Jr. is defending. Spike gets double teamed to start, which even the announcers knew was coming. Classic gets sent outside though and Spike stomps away in the corner. The double teaming picks up again though until Jr. is fine enough to look at the crowd while his dad does the work. Classic tries a rollup on Spike for two but Jr. misses a splash in the corner. A high crossbody takes down both Guerreros and there’s the Dudley Dog to Jr. Classic comes back in and collides with Spike though, only to call on Jr. to win the title.

Rating: D. Nothing match of course and the “shock value” of the ending doesn’t exactly earn them a lot of points. The title takes another hit here as it goes into its fourth reign in two weeks, all in the name of “comedy”. It would have been easier to accept this without the Jacqueline reign but two joke wins in two weeks is too much to take.

Jr. is rightfully furious at his dad, who is too busy celebrating.

Raw ReBound of another good show.

Funaki interviews Booker T., who doesn’t want to hear this nonsense about being afraid of Undertaker. See, Undertaker cheated at Judgment Day because Paul Bearer must have switched the magic bag. Since Undertaker isn’t here tonight, Booker can have any match he wants. Maybe the WWE Title? Or the US Title? Nah he’ll beat up Funaki instead, so Funaki punches him and runs off.

Booker T. vs. Funaki

Booker pounds away to start so Funaki dropkicks the knee out to set up a bulldog. That just earns him a superkick as Booker isn’t having any of this tonight. The fans chant for Undertaker as Booker scores with a side slam, only to run into a boot in the corner. Another shot to the face busts Funaki’s nose open and we hit the chinlock. Booker gets bored with that and finishes with the ax kick.

Rating: D-. Was there any reason for this match to go on this long? The match was pretty much a squash and went on for the better part of five minutes. I mean….it’s Funaki, who is barely even a wrestler anymore. It also doesn’t help that Booker looks bored out of his mind at the moment, but if this is the best they have for him, is it that surprising?

Next week: Cena vs. Dupree for the title in a lumberjack match.

JBL has attacked Eddie, who is unconscious.

Kenzo Suzuki is still coming.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Dudley Boyz vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio/Rob Van Dam

There’s no Eddie to start, likely because he’s still recovering from losing that much blood. Here’s Angle to say Eddie can’t wrestle and since Angle can win a gold medal with a BROKEN FREAKIN NECK, Eddie can join in on the match when he gets up from his siesta. D-Von and Rey start but Bubba comes in and jumps him from behind, which is the same as a tag it seems.

JBL comes in and stomps away but Rey kicks at the legs and then the face to build some momentum. The sitout bulldog drops D-Von and it’s off to D-Von, who gets taken down by a JBL neck snap across the ropes. Some swinging neckbreakers keep Rob in trouble as the fans think Bradshaw sucks. The slow paced beatdown continues with JBL hitting a shoulder and elbow drop for two. Rob gets in a springboard kick to the face and there’s the hot tag to Rey.

A headscissors into a dropkick lets Rey Drop the Dime for two as everything breaks down. Van Dam flip dives onto both Dudleys and Rey hurricanranas JBL into the 619. The Five Star connects but Ray pulls Mysterio out as we take a break. Back with Mysterio in trouble thanks to a 3D on the floor to Van Dam. Rey hits a springboard into a reverse DDT but Bubba goes over to Rey’s corner in a clever idea.

D-Von hits a delayed vertical suplex (he’s stronger than you might think) and it’s back to JBL for more of that great offense. The abdominal stretch goes on but here’s Eddie, who can barely walk down the aisle. Eddie is so livid that he stands on the apron while JBL is smart enough to not let go of the hold. Of all people, JBL is smart enough to figure that out?

Rey gets in a dropkick but Bubba isn’t about to allow the hot tag. A little too much trash talk allows Rey to get his feet up in the corner and there’s the tag to Eddie. Right hands and Three Amigos have the Dudleys down but Eddie collapses. His eyes are open as everyone stops doing anything, so JBL again gets smart by stealing the pin.

Rating: C+. Well we certainly know the power of the 3D on the floor as Van Dam disappeared after taking it. The ending was fine enough as Eddie keeps fighting but is trying to do too much and collapsing under the pressure as his body gives out. The others are just kind of there, as you could put the titles on the Dudleys but who are supposed to challenge them? The lack of star power is killing this show and it’s becoming more obvious every week.

Medics check on Eddie to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The main event was ok but my goodness the rest of the show is such a disaster. The wrestling is uninspired, the stories aren’t interesting and the new stars aren’t exactly clicking (What does it say when Rene Dupree is one of the top prospects?). It’s just a dark time for the show and it seems to be getting even worse as the weeks go by. Eddie is doing as much as he can to carry this show on his back and it’s clearly not working. That’s not on Eddie, who can only do so much with so little around him.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 17, 2004
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 5,600
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re less than a month away from Bad Blood and we need a card. That can get started tonight with the naming of a new #1 contender, who will be crowned in a battle royal. The winner gets a shot at Chris Benoit and while HHH seems very interested in winning, Shawn Michaels is likely to be lurking around. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Fallout from Trish being horrible to Lita last week and pretending Kane was coming. Trish feigns an apology and gets punched in the face several times. A missed charge lets Trish take her down by the hair but is back with right hands and a headscissors. Trish hot shots her down and chokes a bit, though does stop to sneer at the referee. The announcers debate Trish’s levels of wholesomeness as the Chick Kick is blocked into a rollup for two.

Lita fights out of a chinlock but gets spinebustered back down into the same hold. That earns Trish some suplexes (Lita isn’t a chinlock fan) and a reverse Twist of Fate but here’s Kane on the screen. A few mentions of her name are enough for Trish to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. The always stupid ending didn’t help things but they were trying for the most part. These two work well together and feel like the biggest match in the division, but they haven’t hit the level you would be expecting from two legends like them. That being said, compare it to Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie from the previous night and you get some more of the praise.

Post match Kane says he wants Lita’s yes or no tonight.

Here’s Randy Orton for a chat. He beat Mick Foley twice and then last week he beat Edge. Tonight, he’s going to beat Benoit and Edge to become a double champion. However, tonight is all about Evolution and HHH, because HHH is winning the battle royal with Orton’s help. Orton says there is no stopping Evolution and HHH but here’s Shelton Benjamin to disagree (With his music saying there’s actually no stopping him rather than Evolution. I guess he thought Orton was confused.).

How can HHH be the best when Benjamin has beaten him twice? Orton says it was luck and one day, luck would run out. Shelton is no match for either himself or HHH but Shelton doesn’t see it that way. The challenge is thrown out but Orton says no, because he’s not soiling the title by defending it against the likes of him. Shelton beats him up for a few seconds until Ric Flair comes down and gets Orton out.

William Regal is congratulating Eugene on his win last week when Eugene steals his nose. Regal: “Very good now can I have it back?” Eugene wants another match when Eric Bischoff comes up to talk to Regal. As Eugene plays with whatever he can find in a bucket (including two bowling pins and a fire extinguisher), Regal apologizes for not having Eugene lose last week. Bischoff has an idea for Eugene tonight and all Regal has to do is make sure he’s at ringside for an interview alone. Regal seems interested, though also concerned

We look back at Shawn Michaels attacking HHH last week and getting suspended. I’m sure that’s going to stick.

Kane vs. Val Venis

Val slugs away to start but can’t get a Russian legsweep. Kane misses an elbow but hits a big boot into a chokeslam for the pin in a hurry.

Post match Matt Hardy runs in and goes off on Kane but gets kicked in the face when trying a chair shot. That means another chokeslam and Kane ties him in the Tree of Woe for some choking with a cord. Kane wraps the chair around Matt’s throat and stands on it instead of stomping but Lita runs out for the save. She says yes, even though we don’t know the question yet. Kane puts his arms around her and whispers something in her ear before leaving with a smile.

There was a voter registration drive earlier today.

Tag Team Titles: Edge/Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton/Batista

Orton and Batista are challenging and have Flair with him. Edge’s headlock doesn’t get him very far on Orton so he tries it again. Some forearms work a bit better and Orton is taken into the corner so Benoit can slug away as well. Orton does the same thing to Benoit though and it’s off to Batista so the big man can take over. Some forearms and chops get Benoit out of trouble and Edge comes back in for the chinlock. Everything breaks down in a hurry and the champs clear the ring as we take a break.

Back with Orton cranking on an armbar and Batista coming in to take his place. A hard clothesline gives Batista two, followed by Orton slapping on another armbar. Edge fights up and forearms away with the good arm (smart man), followed by the Edge-O-Matic for two. It’s finally off to Benoit to pick up the pace a good bit, including a snap suplex to Orton. A backbreaker gets two but Benoit turns his back on Orton to slug it out with Batista.

Everything breaks down as Benoit tries to get the Sharpshooter and Orton is sent into Batista. The referee gets bumped and Batista gets sent outside, leaving Orton to take the rolling German suplexes. Flair sends in the Intercontinental Title to block the Swan Dive for a close two and Orton gets in a great shocked look. Edge is back up and spears Orton into Flair off the apron, setting up the Crossface to make Orton tap to retain the titles.

Rating: B. We’re almost getting to a Smackdown Six (or whatever number it is) kind of situation around here with one very good tag match after around. It’s so refreshing to have a 15-20 minute match almost guaranteed to be very entertaining on a weekly basis. Good wrestling can solve a lot of your problems and that’s what’s happening here.

Regal gives Eugene some last second pointers about projecting his voice. Eugene: “Do re mi fa sol la Tito Santana!” I love this guy! Regal isn’t going out there with him and tells Eugene he has to be a man. Eugene: “Are you trying to tell me something?” Regal almost spills the beans about Bischoff but controls himself, albeit while looking disgusted with himself.

Here’s Eugene (to a very nice reaction) for the interview with Todd Grisham (Looking even more toolish than usual this week. Get a suit boy.) but Coach cuts them off. Coach is going to be handling the interview and won’t let Eugene get an answer in. He talks about people laughing at him last week and Eugene is sad. These people like making fun of him like they’re booing him right now. He even smells bad!

No one here is Eugene’s friend and he’s probably never even had a girlfriend either. Now Eugene needs to get out of the ring and go back to wherever he came from and tell his friends that he’s a failure. Oh hang on, because he doesn’t have any friends. A very sad Eugene goes to leave….and here’s the Rock.

Coach panics as Rock poses and then says Eugene isn’t going anywhere. But what if he wants a hot pretzel? After FINALLY, Rock wants to know how Coach can talk about the people. There’s only one man who knows the people and he thinks the people like Eugene. Eugene greatly approves when they chant his name so Rock has them do it again. Now, Coach will never be Eugene’s friend but Rock would love to be friends.

Coach glares at them and says Rock must be doing these things to make himself feel better. Remember Wrestlemania when Rock got beat up all over Madison Square Garden? Rock: “Is that what you think?” Coach: “Well…” Eugene: “IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!” After confirming that only Mick Foley and Eugene can steal those lines, Rock asks who is Eugene’s boy. That would be Rock. Who is the People’s Champ? Rock again. And who is Eugene’s favorite wrestler? Eugene: “HHH!”

That confuses Rock, but apparently HHH and Eugene both like to play games. Rock isn’t happy with that because HHH only likes to play Hide The Strudel. Rock: “Lilian you know about that right?” Maybe we could play a game right here and the object is for Eugene to beat Coach up.

Garrison Cade of all people runs in and gets punched all the way out of the deep water that is way over his head. The Rock Bottom sets up a People’s Elbow from Eugene to really hammer this home. Eugene even gets to do Rock’s pose, although with one foot on the bottom rope ala Foley.

That’s one of the best one night rubs you’ll ever see. Notice what Rock has done in three of his recent comebacks: let Hurricane pin him, gave Randy Orton a heck of a rub and then this with Eugene. Then HHH beat Hurricane three weeks later and Eugene and Orton later in the year, cutting the legs off of all three. But at least Rock tried and this was a great segment.

Smackdown Rebound, mostly looking at the TV show and a quick look at the PPV main event.

Battle Royal

HHH, Maven, Kane, Randy Orton, Edge, Chris Jericho, Batista, Steven Richards, Hurricane, Rosey, Rhyno, Ric Flair, Shelton Benjamin, Johnny Nitro, Val Venis, Garrison Cade, Sylvain Grenier, Rob Conway

The winner gets Benoit at Bad Blood and there are only eighteen people here instead of twenty. Everyone but Kane goes after Evolution to start but it’s Richards and Nitro out early on. Kane dumps out Rosey as well as they’re clearing the ring out pretty fast this time. Hurricane gets tossed onto Rosey but his feet never touch the floor.

Back from a break with 28 arms remaining as Conway was eliminated during the commercial. HHH eliminates Maven and Venis but needs Batista to save him from Jericho. Speaking of Jericho, he gets rid of Grenier, and Cade as we have ten left. Evolution of course works together and stomps Rhyno down before tossing him out. Hurricane is eliminated next but Jericho dropkicks HHH as we take a second break.

Back again with the same eight left and Jericho bulldogging HHH down. Flair puts Jericho in the Figure Four (Lawler: “I think he just wants to punish Jericho.”) for a few seconds as Batista saves Orton from being tossed. Jericho is back up and clotheslines Flair out but Batista throws him over the top, with his knees crashing into the steps on the way out. Egads that looked terrible and hopefully he’s not hurt.

Shelton skins the cat to stay alive and HHH’s facebuster has no effect on Kane. That earns HHH a chokeslam, followed by one each to everyone not named Batista. The big slugout is on with Batista escaping the chokeslam and hitting a spinebuster. Edge is back up with a clothesline to get rid of Batista and a bunch of spears but Orton low bridges him to the floor. So we’re down to Benjamin, HHH, Kane and Orton and it’s Orton up first.

Now it’s Shelton’s turn to clean house until a HHH knee to the face cuts him off. Benjamin gets sent to the apron but hangs on by a hand, then by a leg. For some reason, HHH pulls him back in and gets rewarded by a run up the ropes into a high crossbody that takes Orton down as well. There’s the Dragon Whip to Kane and Shelton eliminates Orton (there’s a Bad Blood title match) to get us down to three. HHH low blows Kane to break up a chokeslam attempt and gets rid of Benjamin himself. Cue Michaels to run in and beat up HHH, including a clothesline for the elimination to give Kane the win.

Rating: B. The important thing to have in a battle royal like this is some extra time with the potential winners in there and that’s what we had here. They got rid of a lot of the people with no chance and went with the major names for an extended time. The ending wasn’t the biggest secret in the world and Kane…is an acceptable choice at best but it’s better than another HHH title match.

Shawn bails into the crowd as HHH screams to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. Storyline advancement, two quite good matches, storylines that make sense and a few that make you wonder where they’re going and nothing that went on longer than it needed to. It’s a well done wrestling show and you don’t get that on Tuesdays at all anymore. Why WWE can’t get at least a decent show out of both rosters but they’re still not pulling it off here. At least Raw is awesome though and this was one of the best in a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Judgment Day 2004
Date: May 16, 2004
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 18,722
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

I guess we have to do this one too. It’s one of the worst built shows I’ve seen in a very long time and that’s not surprising given how horrible Smackdown has been in recent weeks. The main event of Eddie Guerrero defending the World Title against John Bradshaw Layfield is going nowhere and it seems that it’s what we’re going to be seeing for a long time going forward. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how we will all be judged one day, but maybe there is no afterlife and this is all we get to do. But what if there’s something there? Will we meet a callous jury or be welcomed warmly? Even this is a rambling mess.

Rey Mysterio/Rob Van Dam vs. Dudley Boyz

Cole: “Literally in Rey Mysterio’s backyard tonight!” For those unfamiliar, Los Angeles is about 120 miles from San Diego. Rey has a huge backyard. Bubba and Rob start things off with the fans behind Van Dam. A very early distraction lets D-Von get in a cheap shot from behind and he comes in legally just to keep things fair. It’s already back to Bubba for some choking on the ropes but HE HAS UNTIL FIVE.

Rob comes back with some kicks and clotheslines D-Von to the floor. There’s the big flip dive onto Bubba as Rey finally realizes he can do something and dives onto D-Von. We settle down to D-Von and Rob with the latter hitting a stepover spinning kick to the face but Bubba grabs a full nelson. Of course D-Von hits his partner by mistake, because that’s how full nelsons work in tag matches.

Rey still can’t come in and it’s time for the slow motion beating. A legsweep gets Rob out of trouble and it’s off to Rey for the top rope seated senton. The springboard spinning crossbody gets two as Cole says the Dudleys are “bumblebee like”. Another springboard is countered into something like a hot shot and it’s Rey’s turn to be in trouble. A big leg sets up the chinlock, followed by the spinning back elbow to take Rey back down.

The beating continues with D-Von pounding away in the corner but the sitout bulldog gets Rey out of trouble. The hot tag….doesn’t bring Van Dam in though as Bubba comes in a second earlier to distract the referee. One heck of a spinebuster lets Bubba put Rey in the Tree of Woe (Bubba: “He’s a pinata!”).

In a rather unique counter, Rey pulls himself up and hits a cutter, despite still being tied up. That was pretty cool. A moonsault press gets two and that’s enough for the hot tag to Van Dam. Rob’s springboard kick to the face sets up Rolling Thunder for two on D-Von as everything breaks down. Rey hits a middle rope hurricanrana on D-Von to set up a double 619. The Five Star is enough to finish D-Von.

Rating: B-. It’s a bit longer than it needed to be but given that this is one of the only few good matches the card is likely to have, it makes sense to give it so much time. Mysterio and Van Dam have always worked well together, but someone needs to explain the idea of having the Dudleys lose twice if they’re supposed to be top level heels.

Josh Matthews barges into Booker T.’s locker room without even knocking so Booker yells about preparing for Undertaker. He has his own power in the bag and throws Josh out. That….was rather pointless.

Kurt Angle’s lackey Luther Reigns pushes out a big platform and Angle rises up through it to sit above the ring in a cool visual. Angle insults the crowd and the Los Angeles Lakers before moving on to Eddie Guerrero causing his broken leg. When JBL wins the title tonight, Angle is expecting them to riot and hopes a huge earthquake hits the city after he’s gone.

Before we get there though, he wants Torrie Wilson out here right now. Torrie comes out and gets in the ring where Angle yells at her for ruining his career. Therefore, she needs to protect her own career. If she loses tonight, she is FIRED. Oh dear. What ever will we do without her five minutes of screen time a month???

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

They fight into the corner to start with Torrie shoving her off. A Hennig necksnap keeps Dawn in trouble and a horrible sunset flip (you need to get both shoulders down) gets two. Torrie misses a high crossbody and the fans cheer for her….for about five seconds. Some slow motion stomping puts Torrie on the floor and a dropkick to the ribs keeps her out there.

Back in and we hit the chinlock, allowing Torrie to fight up and botch the swinging neckbreaker (you need to grab something, not put a hand on the face). A better sunset flip gets two more and Torrie rolls her up, with Dawn’s gear tearing to the first real reaction of the match. Torrie backslides her for the pin.

Rating: D-. I really, really hope they didn’t have to go home early because of the gear breaking because this was already getting terrible. Trying to get me to care about Torrie being fired isn’t a great course of action as she’s nothing but eye candy and losing her isn’t going to make the show any worse than it already is. Terrible match, because neither of them are wrestlers.

JBL is happy to be here because he’s tired of campaigning all over the country and seeing a bunch of Eddie Guerreros. Nowhere is worse than right here in Los Angeles but there are some good people. Like the ones who wash his car and polish his boots. In his America, everybody speaks English and there aren’t people with eight or nine kids on welfare.

Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Mordecai

This is Mordecai’s debut and he gets the big entrance with the white robe and cross (not a cross, but it’s a cross) staff. Scotty is terrified and his early headlock completely fails. Mordecai sends him into the post and crushes Scotty’s head against the steel. Scotty gets bent around the ropes (almost like a standing camel clutch) and a knee to the head makes it even worse. A superkick staggers Mordecai but he shrugs off the bulldog. Mordecai finishes him with a Razor’s Edge (appropriate) to complete the squash.

Rating: D. The entrance was cool and the finisher is good, but everything in the middle was pretty uninspiring stuff. Mordecai could work if he was better in the ring but there’s only so much you can do when you were boring in a three minute match. There’s potential there, though not enough to overcome the problems he has.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. and Chavo Classic (with his pants down) are getting ready when Jacqueline comes in with a present. It’s something to make him feel more comfortable on the way to the ring in case he loses to a girl again. And of course it’s women’s underwear as this horrible show continues to be horrible. Ok Chavo Classic looking at it while Jr. yells at her helps a bit.

Tag Team Titles: Rico/Charlie Haas vs. Hardcore Holly/Billy Gunn

Holly and Gunn are challenging. Charlie stalls some more by not being able to walk onto Rico and Jackie’s platform. The challengers aren’t sure who should start so Rico spanks them both at once. That means a trip to the floor as the stalling continues. After a minute of waiting around, we settle down to Charlie vs. Bob. Holly takes him into the corner as the slow pace continues.

A rollup gives Haas two and Holly chills in the corner. An armbar goes on and it’s off to Rico, who rubs Charlie’s chest for the tag. Rico’s antics send Holly over for the tag off to Gunn, meaning it’s time for Rico to dance. Rico licks his hand and tries to rub it on Gunn, sending him sprawling into the corner in…I guess annoyance? A grab of the trunks gets Rico out of a headlock and Holly will have none of the tag attempt.

It’s time to actually get serious with a series of kicks in the corner and Gunn bails to the floor. Haas comes back in as Cole and Tazz crack each other up with sex jokes. Holly gets in a cheap shot from behind to take over and it’s time to talk about the Undertaker. The chinlock goes on as the discussion moves to Jackie being entertaining when she slaps the mat over and over. Holly’s dropkick gets two and Rico demands that they don’t hurt his Charlie.

The kick to the ribs gets two and Holly goes up for the top rope dive that is only designed to dive onto a raised boot. To be fair though, Holly at least leaned forward a bit so it could have almost kind of sort of looked like an elbow instead of landing flat on his feet. Charlie dives over to the hot tag to Rico and house is cleaned in a hurry. The Fameasser connects but Charlie tagged himself in and German suplexes Gunn down. Holly grabs the Alabama Slam but Rico superkicks him down, allowing Haas to get a sunset flip to retain.

Rating: D. Well, at least the finish was good. This was every Rico/Haas match (Of what, four that they’ve had?) and that’s not a positive. It was the same jokes over and over again with nothing interesting or entertaining, save for Jackie as usual. You couldn’t have the Bashams in this spot instead? At least they’re a regular team.

Paul Bearer and Undertaker aren’t worried about Booker T. having the voodoo bag of death. Undertaker even acknowledging that feels so beneath him.

We recap Chavo Guerrero vs. Jacqueline, with Chavo trying to get the title back after she upset him a few weeks back. This is one of the dumbest stories of the night, and that’s a bad sign on a show of so many dumb stories.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Jacqueline

Chavo is challenging and has an arm tied behind his back. Jacqueline gets sent into the corner and kneed in the ribs as Chavo is already getting in more offense than he had in the first match. Some one armed backbreakers keep Jacqueline down but she comes back with a headscissors and Chavo walks himself shoulder first into the post. Jacqueline’s sleeper is broken up with a ram into the corner but she kicks him down for two.

Chavo Classic gets knocked off the apron and the distraction lets Jr. get in a clothesline. The low blow gives Jacqueline two and it’s time to head outside, where Classic unties the arm. Back in and another distraction lets Jr. block a right hand and hit a hard clothesline. Classic picks up a bunch of stuff for more distracting and it’s the Gory Bomb to give Jr. the title back.

Rating: F. I hated this for so many reasons that I can’t even cut the list down to something reasonable. If this is the best you can have for a title, just get rid of the thing. I know that’s what they probably want to do, but Jacqueline is not the best you can do. Jacqueline isn’t an interesting wrestler and why they decided to put her together in a “HAHA YOU LOST TO A GIRL” story is beyond me. It would have been almost as stupid, but if this is the general way you want to go, put the title on Rico and find some different Tag Team Champions. At least the promos would have been better. Horrible stuff and let’s move on.

Post match Chavo blames everyone else for laughing at him and says no one can laugh at him again. Classic gets in a cheap shot on Jacqueline before leaving. Now PLEASE never let this be talked about again.

We recap the US Title match. Rene Dupree is an obnoxious French guy who hates America and John Cena is standing up for the country. Rene isn’t ready for this spot but he’s trying, and I can take that over so much of the other slapped together show.

US Title: John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Cena is defending and his rap is a simple one about beating Dupree and sending him back to France. Some early right hands put Dupree on the floor and Cena comes back in with a Thesz press of all things. Back up and Dupree hits a rather fast boot to the face out of the corner to little effect.

Cena is right back with a backdrop and a hard clothesline puts Dupree outside again. Dupree is in a little better shape this time as he pulls Cena shoulder first into the post to take over for the first time. Back in and a low bridge sends a diving Cena (!) sailing right back to the floor. A backbreaker gives Dupree two and it’s off to a bearhug. Cena finally jawbreaks his way to freedom and starts the comeback but the Shuffle takes too long (gee I’m stunned) and Dupree scores with a spinebuster.

The French dance takes way too long as well but Cena can’t follow up. Dupree can’t hit the Michinoku Driver but Cena’s can’t hit the FU either. Instead Dupree grabs a neckbreaker for a delayed two and it’s time for the exchange of rollups. That goes nowhere so Dupree tries to jump over Cena in the corner, only to get caught in the FU to retain the title.

Rating: C+. That’s the second fine match of the night as they were putting in the effort and there was a perfectly acceptable story being told. It’s nothing that really needed to be on pay per view, but it’s better than nothing, which is more than you can say for almost anything else on the show so far. Imagine that: Cena being one of the few bright spots.

Post match Cena gives a fan his Lakers jersey in a nice touch.

Kenzo Suzuki is coming. Egads no.

We recap Booker T. vs. the Undertaker. Booker showed up in the Draft and started talking about how much better he was than everyone else, including the Undertaker. A bunch of lightning and thunder followed, so Booker went to a voodoo woman and has a hex bag that is supposed to even things out. Yeah it’s really stupid and I doubt it’s going to help the show.

Booker T. vs. Undertaker

The announcers keep calling this a rare appearance by the Undertaker. I’m really not sure why, but then again I’m not sure why Cole and Tazz say a lot of things they say. Booker takes him into the corner to start and we actually get a clean break. A shove down is enough for Booker at the moment as he heads outside and rubs something from the bag on his chest, which just gets his arm cranked on back inside.

Undertaker side slams him down and gets two off a legdrop before clotheslining Booker right back to the floor. As tends to happen to him a lot, Undertaker gets his throat snapped across the top, allowing Booker to come back in with a missile dropkick. Booker rubs some more stuff on his chest and gets caught with the jumping clothesline. Old School connects but Booker slips out of the Last Ride and bumps the referee.

The distraction lets Booker throw the dirt from the bag in Undertaker’s eyes….which just ticks him off. The running big boot misses in the corner though and Booker starts stomping on the knee. Booker wraps the leg around the post to keep Undertaker down and a dropkick gets two. The ax kick connects for the same so it’s time for Undertaker to pop up with the chokeslam and Tombstone for the pin.

Rating: D. Egads they really can’t get anything going with this show. Another bad match as the hex bag went nowhere as Undertaker didn’t even sell the dirt in his eyes. Other than that, this was a little working on Undertaker’s knee before he popped back up and won anyway. I have no idea why you would bring Booker to Smackdown just to put Undertaker over in his first big match, especially when the show is so starved for effectual heels. It didn’t make sense at the time and it still doesn’t now.

We recap JBL vs. Eddie Guerrero. JBL is a rich guy from New York and wants to get rid of someone deplorable like Eddie. In other words, it’s at least half racist and more than half awful as JBL is really bad at what he’s doing. Then JBL caused Eddie’s mom to have a heart attack, which he blamed Eddie for and which we had to see about five times in a week. Let’s get this over with.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Eddie is defending. Before we’re ready to go, JBL talks about how he’s going to say this in English so half the people here will need translators. After he wins the title, Eddie’s mother can come to New York and be his maid. Eddie gets aggressive to start and knocks him outside for a whip into the steps. JBL gets tossed over the announcers’ table and it’s time to head back inside for some shouting and punching.

It’s too early for JBL to walk out so Eddie chases him down and hammers away some more. Back in and Eddie walks on his face but makes the mistake of going outside again, allowing JBL to whip him into the steps. JBL keeps up the awesome wrestling with a big boot and a headlock as things slow down to a snail’s pace. Another headlock takeover keeps things slow but some armdrags put JBL on the floor.

The dive is caught for a fall away slam though and the champ is down again. A backdrop puts Eddie onto the announcers’ table in a good looking crash. Back in and they slug it out until JBL grabs a bearhug, which is the worst thing this match can do. Thankfully it doesn’t last long as Eddie slips out and hits Three Amigos. The referee gets bumped though and Eddie backdrops JBL to the floor.

Another whip over the announcers’ table lets JBL grab a chair and cave Eddie’s head in, drawing one of the deepest, most disturbing cuts I’ve ever seen. You can see the blood literally flowing out of his head and streaming down his chest over and over. A steps show to the head makes it even worse and the Clothesline From JBL is good for no cover because referees are made of paper around here. The second referee comes in for two as there is blood EVERYWHERE.

The replacement referee takes a Clothesline of his own and a powerbomb gives JBL two with the first referee counting. JBL slaps on a sleeper but Eddie fights up and starts the dancing. The fall away slam is countered into a DDT and they’re both down. Eddie is up first but the blood loss means the frog splash takes way too long and they’re down again. JBL grabs the title and a chair but Eddie kicks him low and hits him with the belt for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The story worked, the blood REALLY worked, and Eddie was trying, but there’s only so much you can do with someone like Bradshaw as your opponent. The headlock didn’t do this any favors and the idea of having to watch this match again made my head hurt. You can only do so much to get beyond a horrible build and bad character work from the heel and Eddie wasn’t able to get over the mountain.

Post match Eddie stays on him and shoves some referees away. A chair to JBL’s head draws some blood as well and Eddie does it again for fun. Eddie drops a frog splash and JBL bails to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. The two good matches are nowhere near enough to save this show as they’re only so good. The problem here continues to be the lame villains, as there’s no way around people I don’t care about. JBL is a terrible top villain, the second villains are the Dudley Boyz who haven’t won a tag match in a long time, and then you have Booker T. who is running around like a comedy goof. Who in there is supposed to be intimidating?

Nothing on this show got me interested or excited in the slightest and that just shouldn’t happen on a pay per view. The wrestling can be passable at times but they have to work on the stories and characters. Those are the far more important parts of the show and neither of them is going anywhere at all. Just get something interesting in there because what we have at the moment is making me long for a twenty minute HHH promo to perk things up a bit.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 13, 2004
Location: Lawlor Convention Center, Reno, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Judgment Day and my goodness the show is not looking good at this point. We currently have three matches announced so this week’s show is going to be designed to get us ready for Sunday in a hurry, with several matches likely being added at once. That rarely leads to a good night but that would be par for the course around here lately. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Eddie Guerrero’s mom having a heart attack, because that’s the one angle they have for this whole thing. Eddie snapped to end last week’s show, partially due to JBL blaming him for the heart attack.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

During Rob’s entrance, Rob/Rey Mysterio vs. the Dudley Boyz is announced for Sunday. I mean, we saw it last week so let’s make people pay to see it again! Actually hang on a second as we have a change due to a sneak attack.

Rob Van Dam vs. D-Von Dudley

See? IT’S TRICKINESS! D-Von jumps him from behind to start until Van Dam gets in a spinning kick to the jaw. The running corner dropkick in the corner allows Van Dam to get in some finger pointing. Bubba offers a distraction though and the split legged moonsault is countered into a neckbreaker out of the corner. Some choking with a torn tag rope has Van Dam in some more trouble and a hard clothesline gets two.

The chinlock wakes Van Dam up a bit and there’s another kick to the face to put D-Von down. The top rope kick to the face gets two but Van Dam has to cannonball off the apron to take care of an interfering Bubba. Rolling Thunder connects but Bubba puts D-Von’s leg on the rope. A ref bump lets Bubba crotch Van Dam on top though and it’s a top rope hanging DDT to give D-Von the pin.

Rating: D. This was as interesting as D-Von in the ring and Bubba on the floor vs. Van Dam was going to be. Having the Dudley Boyz as the second biggest heels on the roster is one of the dumbest things that could have been done and it’s not getting any better week to week. The clean loss last week didn’t help things either and it’s just not interesting.

Post match the beatdown stays on until Rey Mysterio makes the save. Thanks for being there in the last five minutes Rey.

Kurt Angle comes in to see Eddie Guerrero and says what Eddie did last week was unprovoked. Eddie is a volcano waiting to erupt and Angle can’t have that on his show. If Eddie does anything tonight, there will be severe consequences. Eddie gets up and walks away.

Kenzo Suzuki is coming. Oh good grief.

Cole is in the ring and brings out Jacqueline for a chat. We see a clip of her winning the Cruiserweight Title and she’s proud to be the first woman to hold it. Dig that WWE continuity. She reminds Chavo “Guerrer” that he lost to a girl so here are Chavo and Chavo Classic to interrupt. Jr. calls her a thief because that was the worst night of his career and maybe even his life. Angle has made a rematch for Judgment Day and he’ll have one arm tied behind his back. Classic thinks it’s a great idea but he wants some redemption tonight. Oh dear this is going to be bad.

Chavo Classic vs. Jacqueline

Non-title. Joined in progress with Chavo taking her down and getting in a little spanking. Jacqueline sends him outside and then does the exact same thing he did to her, albeit with the slaps to the head for the sake of good taste. A Hennig neck snap puts Jacqueline down again though and we hit an abdominal stretch with Chavo having to lean down to make it work. Jacqueline fights up with a hurricanrana but Jr. pulls her off the apron, dropping her face first onto the apron, giving Classic the pin. This is a champion people. Someone who gets sent into the apron and pinned by in his mid-50s.

Worry not though, as Jacqueline gets revenge by pulling Classic’s pants down. Good thing everything is ok now.

Angle is livid at Eddie for disrespecting him and is going to do something about it.

We look back at Booker using magic to try and fend off Undertaker.

Angle finds Eddie and tells him to cool off. It wasn’t even JBL’s fault because Eddie’s mom is 76 years old. Eddie is about to snap so the boss leaves.

The announcers talk about JBL, who suddenly calls in from his limo to promise to destroy Mysterio tonight. He wants Eddie to still be here when he gets to the arena too.

FBI vs. Booker T.

The FBI is banged up after last week’s massacre at Undertaker’s hands. Booker has the hex bag with him because that’s still a thing. Stamboli gets stomped down with ease and a side slam drops Nunzio. Booker drops Nunzio ribs first onto the barricade and kicks Stamboli in the face a few times, followed by the ax kick for the pin. The FBI didn’t get in a single shot.

Post match Booker says that proves he’s just as powerful as the Undertaker….and there’s the gong. Undertaker’s face pops up on both smaller screens and then the main screen as Booker tries to run. Paul Bearer comes out as the ring fills with smoke and Undertaker sits up inside.

Here’s Eddie for a chat and we see the heart attack AGAIN during his entrance because there’s nothing else to the feud but it’s somehow better than the racism/border patrol stuff. Eddie talks about representing the entire WWE and all of America. The point of America isn’t saying you’re better than other people but working hard to achieve your dreams. Eddie looks at America as a great big melting pot.

JBL is going to need some intestinal fortitude to deal with him on Sunday because Eddie is bringing it to the fullest. Eddie talks about the heart attack and having to explain to his kids why he didn’t do anything to the man who hurt grandma. She’s a strong woman and Eddie was worried about her but he wants to take care of Bradshaw tonight. He wants Vickie to turn the TV off because he doesn’t want the kids to see what’s about to happen to Bradshaw.

The limo comes out but there’s no JBL so Eddie breaks the window with a pipe. There’s no one inside so here’s JBL with some police to demand Eddie be arrested for destruction of private property. Eddie charges at him but gets beaten down, with JBL screaming about aggravated assault. Eddie was really stretching in his promo and didn’t sound like he knew where he was going. Could it be because even he knows how awful this story has been?

Rico vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly has Billy Gunn in his corner…because they’re getting a Tag Team Title shot on Sunday. Tazz says they’ve teamed together before and that’s the extent of how they’ve earned a shot. Holly drives him into the corner to start so Rico bends over in front of him, which you just don’t do around here. A shoulder block works a bit better but Rico armdrags him into an armbar.

Rico kicks away in the corner as Jackie and Charlie Haas celebrate on the floor. The chinlock goes on as there’s just nothing going on here. Holly pops up and hits the kick to the very lower abdomen but the Alabama Slam is escaped. A dropkick that isn’t quite up to Holly’s usual standard gets two so Rico heads up top, only to have his high crossbody rolled through to give Holly the pin.

Rating: D. This was a fine example of two things. First of all, Rico can wrestle a watchable match when he’s just playing it straight (pun intended) and isn’t doing all of his shtick. It’s a shame that he got stuck with such a lame gimmick and never recovered. Unfortunately, the other thing it shows is how horrible the tag division is, with a team being thrown together (if they teamed on Velocity, it wasn’t mentioned here) and getting a pay per view title shot. That should never be the case but it’s happening here, and it’s likely to happen again.

Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie has been added to Sunday.

Earlier this week, Rene Dupree held a Cafe de Rene where he talked about how unwelcome he’s felt since coming to this country. America just can’t handle the world thinking there are better countries out there, which is why he’s been targeted by John Cena. On Sunday, he’s going to treat Cena like Americans treat Iraqi prisoners.

Mordecai debuts on Sunday.

Sakoda vs. John Cena

Non-title. Sakoda doesn’t go anywhere off a shoulder block but he bails to the floor anyway. Cena goes out to get him and gets kicked in the face by Akio. Back in and Sakoda knees Cena in the face and poses a bit, showing more fire in ten seconds than I’ve ever seen otherwise. We hit the sleeper until Cena fights up with the usual, capped off by the FU for the easy pin.

Rating: D+. Sakoda looked better than usual here, which isn’t saying much as he’s been little more than a warm body for months now. Cena needed a win to recharge things a bit after last week’s beatdown, even though I don’t think the title is in that much doubt. At least Cena could fire the crowd up a little bit after the JBL and Rene times killed the crowd’s energy.

Akio get FU’d onto Sakoda to even things up.

Raw ReBound.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio gets shoved down and JBL does that smile of his. Rey dropkicks it off his face so Bradshaw blasts him with a shoulder and some kicks to the back. The powerbomb doesn’t work and the chase is on with Rey trying a dive, only to get caught in a fall away slam on the floor.

Back in and the slow beating begins with a kick to the head and a suplex. The torture rack goes on and JBL runs over Rey for daring to escape. Rey fights out of a superplex and grabs a tornado DDT. That’s about it for the comeback though as Rey is sent outside and into various things like the announcers’ table. Back in and a buckle bomb sets up the Clothesline From JBL for the pin. Just a bit above a squash.

Rating: D. This was a good example of why JBL isn’t working in the role. His promos and character stuff are really dull and then it gets even worse in the ring. He’s just a power guy and there are people who are so much better at it than he is that it’s not fun to watch. It’s a good idea to have him go over someone like Mysterio but it’s WAY too late to have the result that they needed.

Post match JBL talks about how he doesn’t care about Eddie’s mother dying because it’s all about winning the title. Cole: “Will JBL’s stock rise on Sunday?” Oh good grief.

Overall Rating: F. Let’s see. There was no good wrestling. There were no good promos. I somehow care about Judgment Day even less than I did when this show started. That has to be one of the worst go home shows I’ve ever seen and when you consider how much they had to add to the pay per view on this show alone (an insane five matches out of an eight match card), it’s clear that they’re making this stuff up as they go.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 10, 2004
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

With the big Phoenix show out of the way, we’re on the long road towards Bad Blood in June. With that show coming up, it’s time to start setting up some of the stories as last week’s show felt like the blowoff to some of the bigger matches. There are two big matches already set for tonight though with the in-ring debut of Eugene and Chris Jericho vs. Christian inside a steel cage. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Shawn vs. Benoit from last week in the very good title match with HHH costing Michaels the title. I think you know where this is going.

Opening sequence.

HHH vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton wastes no time as he armdrags HHH while the music is still playing. Now that’s just rude, as is grabbing a backslide for two. An armdrag into an armbar keeps HHH slow but Shelton charges into a raised boot in the corner. He’s fine enough to snap off a powerslam for two and a DDT gets two. The Stinger Splash misses though and HHH clotheslines him to the floor, only to have Shawn come in for the fast DQ.

The fight stays on for a bit with referees not being able to hold Shawn back as Shelton is completely forgotten. HHH escapes through the crowd and Shawn says he isn’t leaving until he finishes HHH for good. Cue Eric Bischoff to say not so fast and suspends Shawn. With nothing to lose at the moment, Shawn goes after HHH but security cuts him off.

Video on Edge vs. Randy Orton, which has been a big part of the recent Evolution vs. the World feud.

HHH makes it back to the Evolution locker room and gives HHH a pep talk. Bischoff comes in and gives HHH a title shot next week for his troubles. And I’m sure Shawn won’t come anywhere near the ring at all. Of note: Flair gives Batista a pep talk before his match with Tajiri, who Flair calls, and I quote, “That sneaky little Jap.” My goodness how long ago was 2004?

Tajiri vs. Batista

Tajiri strikes away to start and low bridges him to the floor. A tornado DDT on the outside is countered into a spinebuster onto the barricade and it’s time for the pain to begin. Batista stays on the back with a suplex before just standing on it. Tajiri trying a sunset flip just annoys Batista, who plants him with a side slam. A charge in the corner is blocked by a heck of a superkick and Tajiri puts him down with a spinwheel kick. The Batista Bomb is countered into a DDT for two but the Buzzsaw kick is countered into a spinebuster to give Batista the pin.

Rating: D+. It was nothing flashy but Batista worked on one body part and then got the pin after a big shot to that part. The fact that he can have some psychology like that, even at a very simple level, is a good sign and proof that he’s getting better. Give him some more time and he’s going to be a star.

Post match Batista destroys Tajiri’s back even more. The mist starts coming out of Tajiri’s mouth and Batista chokes him out.

Here’s Stacy Keibler to talk about the upcoming Divas DVD. Gail Kim and Molly Holly interrupt so Victoria runs out for a save (for her well known friendship with Stacy) but Jazz comes in and beat her down but Nidia of all people makes the save. This is a thing that happened.

Chris Jericho doesn’t have time to think about HHH and Shawn because tonight, it’s all about that cage. He’ll show Christian how rough he can be.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Edge

Orton is defending. They fight over a lockup to start until a headlock takes Edge down. Edge gets back up and sends him into the corner for some forearms to the back, followed by a backbreaker for two. The back is bent around the post as it’s almost all Edge to start. We hit a modified bow and arrow hold before Edge clotheslines him out to the floor in a heap.

The back gets banged up even worse with a whip into the steps so here’s Ric Flair to help things out. Back from a break with Edge fighting out of a chinlock but getting taken right back down into a second one. The third chinlock in a row goes on and Edge is in even more trouble. Edge finally kicks him in the head to escape but walks into a neckbreaker for two.

A belly to back suplex gives Edge two and a missile dropkick gets the same, this time to a very energetic reaction. The Edge-O-Matic gets two more and Edge reverses a leapfrog into a head of a sitout powerbomb for another near fall. That’s enough to draw Flair onto the apron so Edge spears him down, only to get rolled up for the pin with Orton holding the titles.

Rating: B-. The fans were begging to see a title change here and bought the near falls so there’s hope for something like this later on. You can tell they see some serious potential in Edge and that’s what matters most. Edge isn’t ready to get the big push as they’re taking their time and when he’s ready, the fans are going to react in a big way.

Clip of William Regal training Eugene last week.

Regal has Eugene warm up when Eric Bischoff comes up. He wants Eugene to lose so he’ll get disappointed and quit. If that’s taken care of, Regal can wrestle again. Regal seems interested.

Victoria/Nidia/Stacy Keibler vs. Molly Holly/Gail Kim/Jazz

Jazz wastes no time in taking Victoria down for a Last Chancery before switching to the knee with a dragon screw legwhip. A half crab keeps Victoria in trouble and Nidia’s save attempt goes nowhere. Gail comes in and gets powerslammed for two, only to slap on the Black Widow, which made Victoria tap last week. Everything breaks down and Gail makes Victoria tap to a Tequila Sunrise.

Smackdown Rebound, focusing on Eddie Guerrero’s mother’s heart attack.

Christian isn’t worried about the cage match because he has Tyson Tomko and Trish Stratus backing him up. Tonight is the final match because next week, Christian gets a chance to become World Champion, which was also promised to HHH earlier tonight. The guys leave and Trish goes over to see Lita. A false Kane sighting makes Trish laugh and Lita panic. Matt Hardy has to come in and drag Lita off of her.

Matt Hardy vs. Val Venis

Or not actually as Kane has beaten Val up. I’m not sure why this is a bad thing for Matt, who now gets to leave with Lita earlier. Kane wants an answer from Lita by next week, though the question isn’t clear.

Eugene vs. Rob Conway

This is Eugene’s debut and happens to be against his former longtime OVW tag partner. Eugene goes up top at the bell but politely hops down. Conway’s headlock goes nowhere and Eugene celebrates. A rollup and backslide get two each and Eugene throws in a crucifix for a bonus. Conway snapmares him down for a neck crank so Eugene wristdrags him down.

A ram into the buckle just annoys Eugene and he starts slugging away, setting up a pair of atomic drops. There’s an airplane spin and a top rope ax handle (to a very pleased reaction) for two with the fans deflating on the kickout. Regal reluctantly trips Eugene but claims it was the ring skirt. Not that it matters anyway as Eugene rolls him up with a bridge for the pin, despite Regal’s attempt at a save.

Rating: A. The wrestling wasn’t the point here, at least not in the traditional sense. This was all about getting the Eugene character over and they nailed the whole thing. Eugene isn’t someone who should be out there wrestling a regular match so he just did some basic wrestling and made the match entertaining as a result. It’s the kind of underdog story that you can get behind and the fans did just that. I was a huge fan of the character back in the day and it’s working again here.

Chris Benoit video, edited off the Network of course.

Here are Eric Bischoff and Johnny Nitro to discuss next week’s World Title situation. First though, Nitro announces Trish vs. Lita for next week. With that out of the way, Bischoff announces a battle royal next week with the winner getting a title shot at Bad Blood. Kind of an odd way to go then with Christian and HHH both saying they were getting the shot if it’s just a battle royal. Just announce that in the first place if you’re going to explain it before the end of the show.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Inside a cage with pinfall, submission or escape to win with Bischoff on commentary. Jericho baseball slides Christian before he can get inside and tries an early Walls, only to get kicked back into the corner. It’s way too early for Jericho to get out so Christian pulls him back down. That’s enough for Jericho to grab a suplex for two and starts firing off the chops.

Christian kicks him out of the air though and gets two off a backbreaker. Jericho catches him on top with a hard crotching but Tomko is waiting on the ground with a chair. With that not being an option, Jericho dives off the top onto Christian for the big crash. Tomko is right there to kick Jericho in the head before he can get out the door though, and that’s enough for an ejection. You know, because slamming a chair against the cage to block the earlier exit wasn’t enough.

With Tomko out of the way, Christian backdrops him into the cage to take over as we get a slow motion replay of the high crossbody. Jericho fights out of a chinlock and sidesteps a charge, sending Christian face first into the cage to bust him open. Another ram into the corner draws Trish up the side of the cage as Christian is just gushing blood. Jericho goes into the cage this time and the Unprettier gets a very, very delayed near fall. Christian goes up again but this time it’s a butterfly superplex to bring him back down.

That draws Trish into the cage so Jericho puts her in the Walls without much effort. Christian uses the distraction to climb up (exactly as you would expect from him) but Jericho makes the save. Something like a super spinebuster sets up the Walls, sending Christian to the door. He can’t crawl out though because of the legs, forcing him to tap and give Jericho the feud.

Rating: B. The blood helped and it does feel like a definitive ending to the feud. Jericho needed the win more than Christian and it’s nice to have the final match instead of just having another match that winds up being the last one. The blood did add something as well as it should be the ending of two men who hate each other, making the violence that much more important.

Jericho sits on top of the cage to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. The shows continue to be entertaining week in and week out, which is far better than I’m getting on Smackdown. Above all else the wrestling and stories make sense here, with a good balance between wrestling and entertainment. It’s certainly better than watching Eddie Guerrero’s mom having a heart attack twice in a night. That battle royal has me worried, but at least this week’s show was a lot of fun and very good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 6, 2004
Location: Tuscon Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re coming up on Judgment Day and….well I haven’t actually watched the show in a good while as I stockpiled a bunch of reviews before I went on vacation. That was by design, as I tried to block out most of what was going on with this show. JBL vs. Eddie Guerrero is still coming up and that’s not exactly something I want to think about. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Michael Cole is in the ring to talk about Eddie Guerrero’s mother having a heart attack at an El Paso house show. Eddie had finished his match and invited his family into the ring, which was followed by tragedy. Since it’s so sad, let’s see a video of the whole thing. Eddie invited some women into the ring, starting with his wife Vickie (one of her first appearances), his daughters, and finally his mother, the latter of whom gets a rather long and glowing introduction.

Eddie presents her with a bouquet of roses, which brought out JBL, who must be a fan of lilies. The big clothesline takes Eddie out and JBL yells at the mother, who collapses in a heart attack that Fritz Von Erich would find to be a little much. Medics come out as Eddie chases JBL off to finally wrap this up.

Back in the arena, Cole and Tazz are rather somber, with Tazz even taking his sunglasses off.

John Cena vs. Doug Basham

Non-title. Before the match, Cena makes his usual gay jokes, this time at Doug’s expense. Oh and the Bashams are like Mary-Kate and Ashley. It takes a good minute into the match to have Cena throw his jersey into the crowd. Cole goes from talking about Cena’s Deez Nuts joke to Eddie’s mom having a heart attack, showing that great broadcasting ability. Cena slugs him into the corner to start until Doug scores with an elbow to the jaw. Danny trips Cena up for bad measure and Doug slaps on a sleeper. The belly to back suplex gets Cena out of trouble and it’s a pump of the shoes into the FU for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a quick win with some minor odds for Cena to overcome, much like his upcoming match with Rene Dupree. There’s no one for him to fight in the midcard at the moment so while I can appreciate the idea of bringing some people up, there’s going to be a rough transitional period, just like this one. Or maybe it’s just the Bashams and Dupree.

We recap Booker T. attacking Undertaker last week and getting chased off as a result.

To get a chance against the Undertaker, Booker visited a fortune teller. Her advice to deal with the evil shadow: find things for him, starting with dirt from the grave with no name. Oh this is going to be a rough one.

Here are Chavo Guerrero Jr. and Sr. (now dubbed Chavo Classic) with the latter talking about how sad he is at his mother’s heart attack. Jr. is wanting to face everyone, so tonight it’s an open challenge for a title shot.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Jacqueline

Jacqueline is challenging because Paul London, Tajiri, Rey Mysterio, Brian Kendrick and probably half a dozen other people aren’t around for the sake of this angle. The Guerreros mock her for being a woman and want the real challenger out here instead. Jr. says this wouldn’t be fair because no man can beat him, so what chance does she have? She can either do, ahem, something else to him or make some sandwiches.

A slap starts the match and Chavo takes her down into an armbar without much effort. Jacqueline is up with a headscissors and a dropkick but Chavo belly to backs the heck out of her. Classic offers a distraction though and it’s a low blow into a rollup to give Jacqueline the pin and the title. So that happened. Anyone care? At all? At least Classic’s stunned face is funny.

The FBI is in the ring so here’s Kurt Angle to talk about how he thought last week’s negative crowd reaction in Oklahoma City was just a one off mistake. All the fans couldn’t possibly boo someone who has sacrificed as much as he has over the years. No matter how many people dislike him, he’s still the General Manager of this show. That’s why tonight, Undertaker is facing the FBI.

Undertaker vs. FBI

Just Stamboli and Nunzio to be destroyed here. Cole says he’s been having debates with a lot of people about whether Undertaker is alive or dead. I’m sure you have Cole, and odds are they’re at the airport. Undertaker cleans house to start and kicks Stamboli in the face. With Nunzio coming back up off the floor, Old School is broken up so Undertaker beats on Stamboli instead.

A DDT gives Stamboli two…and it’s time for the ticked off sit up. Now Old School connects with Cole talking about how much of a privilege it is to see this match. Undertaker grabs the start of a suplex but drops Stamboli to the mat and pulls on both arms (kind of a reverse Rings of Saturn) for the tap. I don’t remember him using that one.

Post match Undertaker destroys both guys because he’s the Undertaker and they’re the FBI.

Booker finds the grave (good thing it was in the same city) and takes some of the dirt. After Booker leaves, a gloved hand pops out of the ground. Uh….yeah.

We look at the heart attack angle again, though thankfully a shorter version which still clocks in at longer than an Undertaker entrance.

Josh Matthews asks Eddie if he blames himself for the heart attack and Eddie’s glare sends Josh running off. Good. Keep going.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Well what else are you going to use to follow up an elderly woman having a heart attack and her son having an emotional breakdown? Rene Dupree is at ringside. Apparently Torrie is still being blamed for Angle’s injuries because she ticked Big Show off so much. Dawn kicks her down for an early two as Rene eerily stares at Torrie. A turnbuckle pad is ripped off and Torrie goes face first into it, only to come back with a clothesline.

The swinging neckbreaker, as in the only move Torrie can do, gets two and a high crossbody gets the same, despite Rene’s failed interference. Cue Cena to even things up and the fight is on as the match is thrown out somewhere in there. The stuff with the women was terrible and Cena vs. Dupree was slightly less terrible.

Dupree beats Cena up and takes him inside for a ram into the exposed buckle. Cena gets posted as well and a powerbomb puts him through the announcers’ table. Well, that’s better than giving Eddie’s mother a heart attack.

Back from a break and apparently Dupree beat him up even more during the commercial.

Pay per view rundown. With ten days to go before the show, you should probably have a fourth match announced.

JBL joins us from New York to deny all responsibility for the heart attack because he was just asking her to leave. Eddie had no right to bring his family into JBL’s place of business because it wasn’t bring your family to work day. There’s no need for an apology because the woman has already outlived her days. If Eddie wants to do something like that, he has to take responsibility for the consequences.

JBL isn’t here tonight to give Eddie a break but that won’t be the case next week. Oh and Eddie’s mom probably faked it because she taught Eddie to lie, cheat and steal. We get the illegal immigrant stuff to wrap it up. This story is still lame, mainly because it’s still Bradshaw trying to be intimidating.

Paul Heyman comes up to Angle and talks about Eddie being emotional. If Eddie explodes in the tag match main event, it’s going to be on Angle’s head. Angle agrees so Luther Reigns is tasked with going to find an unnamed replacement.

Dudley Boyz vs. Rob Van Dam/???

The replacement is…Rey Mysterio. Not the worst idea in the world, but why would Angle pick him? Bubba isn’t happy, because why would you want to face someone other than the World Champion? Van Dam and Bubba start things off with Bubba running away like the coward that he’s supposed to be. A few kicks put Bubba down in the corner for the running dropkick but Bubba catches him with a clothesline.

D-Von comes in and gets hurricanranaed, followed by a kick to the face to keep him in trouble. Bubba gets smart by grabbing Rob from the apron but gets kicked down for his efforts. Rey comes in for a 619 attempt, only to be tripped down by Bubba. Things slow down with Bubba yelling at Rey and punching him down for a bonus. A headscissors gets Rey out of trouble and a springboard bulldog is good for two.

D-Von uses a quick distraction to crotch Rey against the post though and we take a break. Back with D-Von holding Rey in a chinlock but slipping out of a suplex attempt. The hot tag to Van Dam is broken up though and double teaming ensues. Rey slips out again and now the hot tag works just fine. Van Dam’s top rope kick to the face gets two on D-Von and everything breaks down.

The split legged moonsault hits D-Von for two more with Bubba making the save. Rey’s springboard is pulled out of the air but Van Dam breaks up What’s Up. The Five Star misses D-Von so Rob enziguris him into the 619 instead. A Rolling Thunder/Dropping the Dime combination is good for the pin, because that’s the way to get over a suddenly angry act like the Dudleys.

Rating: C+. That’s one of the best Smackdown matches in far too long and that shows a lot of the problems with the show at the moment. This was built up as one of the major matches on the show and then they change it at the last minute, leaving us with a good match but not the one that they advertised. The Dudleys continue to be their same old selves though, and that’s not good for the spot they’re supposed to be in.

Post match the Dudleys beat the winners down until Eddie runs in for the save with a chair. Eddie throws the referee outside and starts swinging, including a shot to the referee and another to Van Dam. Bubba (already bleeding) and D-Von take second shots to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. A bunch of short matches, Jacqueline as Cruiserweight Champion instead of making someone into a new star (you know, like they did last year), and the heart attack angle are a little too much for the only so good main event to make up for. It’s such a dark time for Smackdown at the moment and unfortunately I don’t see that changing for a very, very long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 3, 2004
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s a big night here with Chris Benoit defending the World Title against Shawn Michaels. HHH is still lurking around though because he doesn’t know how to do anything else. Other than that we have the continuing adventures of Eugene, who has turned out to be quite the charming fellow, especially with William Regal as his handler. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at Benoit vs. Michaels, billed as the Showdown in the Desert. I’ve heard of worse ideas.

Opening sequence.

JR welcomes us to Memphis.

Evolution vs. Tajiri/Shelton Benjamin/Edge

Flair is the odd man out here. HHH and Shelton start things off but Randy tags himself in before anything can start. Orton catches a kick to the ribs but is smart enough to not spin the leg around for the Dragon Whip. A clothesline drops Orton and it’s Tajiri coming in, only to be taken into the Evolution corner. As he comes in, the fans remind HHH that he tapped out. Edge, now with a more stylish black cast, gets in as well and it’s a rather nice looking staredown.

HHH eventually gets the better of it and brings Orton in for some choking in the corner. Evolution keeps taking turns on Edge with Batista slamming him down and HHH stomping away in the corner. The bad hand goes into the steps and HHH slugs away, followed by the facebuster for two. Edge scores with a spinwheel kick and it’s off to Tajiri for some slightly better kicks. A tornado DDT gets two on HHH until Batista breaks up the handspring with a shot to the back.

We come back from a break with Tajiri still in trouble, including HHH elbowing him to the floor. Batista chokes a bit and HHH adds an elbow to the chest as the dominance continues. Lawler: “Is it true that if you turn an Oriental upside down, they become disoriented?” Orton even gets in some pounding of his own and grabs a long chinlock. Back up and Tajiri kicks the head out of Orton, allowing the hot tag off to Edge. Everything breaks down and Edge hits Orton with a top rope clothesline. Batista breaks up the spear attempt and HHH clotheslines Benjamin. Tajiri mists Batista though and the spear is enough to put Orton away.

Rating: B-. Good old fashioned six man tag (which we need a lot more of) here and that’s exactly what this story needed. Evolution vs. a rotating cast of faces is a perfect way to book the show as you can do all kinds of combinations. The win should give Edge the inside track to an Intercontinental Title shot and there’s nothing wrong with that. Good booking and fun action to start the show.

Jonathan Coachman and Garrison Cade are insulting the women of Phoenix (and promising two good looking midwest women, who better not be Moolah and Mae Young) when Vince McMahon comes in to say he’s here for the big main event. That’s a nice cameo and Vince put Benoit over very strong.

Smackdown ReBound.

Last night at a Smackdown show, Eddie Guerrero brought his family into the ring when “something” happened, possibly involving JBL. I don’t see this going well.

HHH rants to Bischoff about being in the World Title match. Batista wants Tajiri and Johnny Nitro tries to calm things down. HHH: “Take it easy Johnny Oversell.” For next week: Batista vs. Tajiri, Orton vs. Edge for the Intercontinental Title and HHH vs. Benjamin.

Hurricane vs. Rob Conway

They fight over a neckbreaker to start with Conway getting the better of it and hammering away. It’s off to a modified cravate to keep Hurricane in trouble but he pops up for a missed Shining Wizard. Conway is right back up with a hanging swinging neckbreaker for the clean pin.

Rating: D. Not enough time to mean anything here but at least they’re doing something to set up next week’s match. That’s been the norm as of late and that makes for some fun television: set up things for next week and keep giving the fans a reason to come back. Why is that so hard to grasp?

Post match Conway promises a special beating for Eugene.

Video on Kane’s renewed evil, including forcing a kiss on Lita last week. You know, in case you haven’t seen enough from Kane in recent months.

Kane vs. Steven Richards

Chokeslam in about thirty seconds.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel. Before the guest comes out, Jericho talks about tonight’s World Title match. What are his thoughts? It’s been far too long since he’s had a World Title match of his own so he wants the first shot at the winner (making sure to point out that it’s someone other than HHH challenging for a change in a nice touch).

As for the show though, his guest is Matt Hardy, who believes in karma and is not afraid of pain. Jericho asks him about Kane and Lita but Matt gets right to the point: he wants Lita in the ring right now because he needs to ask her something. Lita shows up on the screen and says Matt has to listen to her. In what sounds like a forced statement, she says she never loved him and has found someone else. She never wants to see him again and needs him to stay away from her.

Lita finally snaps and says she can’t do this before screaming that she’s in the basement, revealing that Kane has her hostage. Matt runs out and Jericho says that’s kind of an abrupt end to the show. Cue Christian, Trish Stratus (all in black and…..well dang) and Tyson Tomko to chat a bit before coming in and laying Jericho out, including a low blow from Trish.

During the break, Matt went to save Lita but Kane was gone. Hugging ensues. Again: logical stuff there. There was no reason for Matt to wait until the break was over if it was that important, so just say it happened in real time and show it later.

Gail Kim vs. Victoria

Non-title and Molly, now with long, curly blonde hair, is with Gail. Before the match, Gail says no one feels sorry for Lita. Gail jumps her to start but gets half gorilla pressed up with Victoria dropping her part of the way through. The dancing moonsault gets two with Molly making the save and earning herself a stern lecture.

Back up and Gail clotheslines her into a chinlock, followed by a dragon sleeper. That works so well that Gail does the same sequence of moves again, this time causing Victoria to fight up and scream a bit. Three straight shot to the face have Gail knocked down (ignore Gail falling before the contact on at least one of them) but she’s right back with the Black Widow….and actually gets the tap.

Rating: D. Pretty boring match here but Victoria does need a new challenger. I can’t say fresh because we’ve seen every combination of these women for the better part of ever but at least we’re getting somewhere different with these people. Gail isn’t exactly polished at this point and hopefully we get to Trish instead of her instead.

William Regal is ready to train Eugene in what he calls a torture session. This might be his way to get out of this once and for all.

Vince is alone in a sky box to watch the main event.

It’s time for the training session with Eugene, who is very excited by an armdrag because Ricky Steamboat did them. Regal does a bunch of moves but Eugene does them all (set to what would become his music) and then taunts him with toys and a HHH water bottle. Regal switches to chain wrestling (as Ride of Valkyries starts up)….and is almost immediately taken down into a Regal Stretch with Eugene making him tap.

That’s EXACTLY how this character should work as he’s a goon in over his head everywhere but the ring, where he’s an idiot savant. That’s a good character and something that plays to both WWE’s creativity (which can exist) and Eugene’s in-ring skills. Everyone wins and I’m looking forward to the match next week.

Preview for next week. Again: give them a reason to tune in because they want to see matches instead of asking them to tune in and find out that it’s a good show. It also helps when you have the show planned that far in advance.

Before the main event, Bischoff makes Christian vs. Jericho in a cage for next week.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

Shawn is challenging and they have a lot of time, as they should. An aggressive Benoit goes straight at Shawn in the corner but the referee makes a bit of a forced break. They do it again and now it’s time to start slugging away for a few moments. A headlock doesn’t keep Benoit down long as he’s right back with a backdrop and a clothesline to put Shawn on the floor. The announcers talk about Shawn being born here, with JR pointing out that not many people are going to notice, or likely care.

Shawn gets in a neckbreaker, followed by the flying forearm into the nipup. Benoit can’t get the Crossface in either of two attempts so Shawn hits him in the head again. Back from a very abrupt break with Shawn holding an abdominal stretch, allowing Lawler to plug next week’s matches again. One heck of a whip into the corner just wakes Benoit up as he rattles off some rollups for near falls.

Shawn atomic drops him down again, which Lawler thinks has the fans cheering because Shawn is from Phoenix. The top rope elbow connects but Sweet Chin Music is countered into the rolling German suplexes. Benoit hits four in a row but misses the Swan Dive to put them both down. Shawn goes up again, only to get caught with chops and some very angry stomps to put him in trouble.

Benoit loads up a suplex but gets suplexed out to the floor instead. The moonsault to the floor takes Benoit down again and Michaels’ tights coming down far lower than they need to be. He’s fine enough to whip Benoit knees first into the steps and head first into the post to bust him open as we take another break. Back again with Benoit fighting out of a sleeper and getting two off a bridging German suplex.

Shawn grabs the Walls of all things but Benoit makes a rope as we keep going (not a bad thing). The Crossface goes on and Shawn is in trouble until he gets his foot on the rope. With that not working, Benoit tries the Sharpshooter but gets kicked into the referee. Of course Sweet Chin Music connects a few seconds later but there’s no one to count. Cue HHH (erg) for a Pedigree to Shawn (Benoit didn’t see it) to give Benoit the retaining pin.

Rating: B+. Dang it they had me believing that HHH might actually stay out of the main event scene for a few weeks. This is either leading to HHH vs. Shawn (again) or Shawn wanting ONE MORE TITLE MATCH (again) because that’s the only way the World Title scene seems to be able to go for Benoit. HHH and Shawn need to just stay far apart for a long time but that’s not going to happen anytime soon, because they need to take over the show again and again.

HHH laughs to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. What more can you ask for? The very good Eugene sequence, two very good to great matches and setting things up for later on. There’s very little that they’re not doing anything at the moment and it’s almost hard to believe that this is Raw. I’m not used to having a show where I can’t make fun of that much but they’re managing to do it as of late.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: April 29, 2004
Location: Ford Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

I can get through this. The last few weeks have been some of the most dreadful wrestling shows I can remember in a long time so I’m hoping that things are at least marginally better this time around. I’m not sure what you can expect here, but it’s hard to imagine the show getting much worse. You know, because saying that has never gotten me in trouble before. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle, in a leg cast and a wheelchair (pushed by a rather intimidating looking man) to open things up. After a little effort, Angle and his wheelchair (with a red white and blue back in the pattern of the French flag) are brought into the ring for a chat. Angle is rather emotional and says that he’ll never wrestle again because his knee is injured beyond repair.

The fans seem rather pleased with the news and Angle makes it better by saying his internal injuries are irreversible. His life is all over but nothing was going to stop him from being here tonight. The one thing he knows for sure is that the people are to blame for all of his problems. He came out here and the fans chanted YOU SUCK. Angle thought the circumstances would make things different but the people harbor this sick environment. He shouldn’t be alive and now he’s being ridiculed.

This is Big Show and Torrie Wilson’s fault so Angle demands that she come out here, without music. Angle blames her for all of this and tells the man (named Luther) to bring her over here. It must be nice to be perfect like her but she’s pathetic. Due to what she did, Angle can’t even have sex with his wife while she parades around all perfect. Therefore, he’s changing the rules on her as well. Tonight, her match with Rene Dupree is now No DQ.

Rene Dupree vs. Torrie Wilson

No DQ and Fifi is black this week. Dupree waistlocks her down to start so Torrie gets in a sunset flip. A bunch of slaps just make Rene slam her and here’s John Cena to go after Dupree for the no contest in about a minute. What a great use of TV time this was and we’re only about a fourth of the way through the show.

Post break and post recaps, Rene rants to Angle and gets a US Title shot at Judgment Day.

Cruiserweight Title: Nunzio vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Nunzio is challenging and is in the ring when the Undertaker’s gong goes off. Smoke fills the ring…and that’s it. Chavo jumps the shaken up Nunzio to start but gets sent to the floor. A Chavo Sr. distraction lets them change places though and now it’s Nunzio in trouble on the outside. Back in and the EDDIE chants annoy Jr. to the point where Nunzio is able to hit a dropkick for two. A rollup gives Nunzio the same but Sr. gets in a cheap shot, setting up the Gory Bomb to retain the title in short order.

Post match Jr. says he’s bored and needs new competition. Therefore, next week, anyone who wants one can have a title shot, provided he’s never beaten them before.

We look back at the Dudleys turning on Rob Van Dam last week and Paul Heyman declaring it a good start.

Here’s a serious Van Dam for a chat. He wants the Dudleys out here right now but gets Heyman instead. Heyman says it wasn’t personal last week because Van Dam just happened to be in the ring. It could have been Vince McMahon himself because it just would have been the same result. Van Dam needs to be care what he wishes for because it’s going to be Heyman’s Dudleys, not the lovable ones. Cue the Dudleys through the crowd and the beatdown is on until Eddie Guerrero makes the save.

Booker T. is ready to slap the dead off the Undertaker.

Heyman leaves Angle’s office and tonight it’s the Dudley (which is going to mean Bubba because that’s all that makes sense) vs. Eddie. Egads who looked at last week’s show and thought it was worthy of a sequel? Don’t worry about Van Dam because he’s banned from ringside.

Mordecai is still coming. For some reason, this isn’t on the Network.

Booker T. vs. Billy Gunn

You have Booker T. on the roster and we’re watching JBL and the Dudley Boyz fighting the World Champion. I don’t even know what to say about that so we’ll move on to Cole saying how interesting this is because they’re both great tag wrestlers. Tazz: “It’s a singles match.” Gunn punches away to start so Booker kicks him in the face. A neckbreaker gives Booker two and another kick to the face puts Billy down again. Gunn scores with a suplex and the One and Only (cobra clutch slam) gets two. The Fameasser and the Book End both miss but Booker avoids a Stinger Splash. An ax kick gives Booker the pin.

Rating: D. Just a bunch of kicking and punching here as Booker’s “I’m a star” deal isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. That being said, he does at least have some star power and is a solid upper midcard act, making him one of the better people on this roster. The show is just so weak on talent and Booker is one of the few bright sports.

Post match here are Undertaker and Paul Bearer, though Booker actually stays in the ring. With the ring full of smoke, Booker says this isn’t happening tonight and goes to leave. Instead he grabs the urn and knocks Undertaker down before leaving through the crowd, taking the urn with him.

Post break, Angle makes Undertaker vs. Booker for Judgment Day. Neither Angle nor Undertaker have wrestled since Wrestlemania, but Angle can’t do it ever again. Undertaker doesn’t appreciate that so next week, he’s wrestling a to be announced opponent. Angle as the bitter boss isn’t quite working yet.

Raw ReBound. I wouldn’t point out how much better that show was than this one.

Rico and Jackie have stolen Charlie Haas’ trunks so Charlie has to wrestle in Rico’s gear. The words “come out” are used over and over.

Shawn Michaels and company welcomed some troops home in Texas. This goes on for awhile.

Tag Team Titles: Rico/Charlie Haas vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are challenging and Charlie is in Rico’s gear. It’s funny you see. Doug makes Danny start with Rico with Rico blowing him a kiss. A lockup lets Rico get in a few spanks as Charlie is nearly sick. Doug comes in and get ridden around, followed by Charlie coming in and winding up behind him in the exact position you would expect. Rico spanks him a few more times and Doug runs away as Charlie looks sicker than earlier. The fans want home state Charlie in so Rico “comically” brings him in.

Danny makes a blind tag and sends Charlie into the post as the match turns into something normal for once. The Bashams start working on the arm with Doug driving his shoulder into Charlie’s until a backdrop gets Haas out of trouble. The hot tag brings in Rico for the variety of kicks to the head. Tazz: “Shades of Bruce Lee there.” Charlie tags himself and Rico kisses Danny into a German suplex to retain the titles.

Rating: D. Jim Cornette is crying over this one and I can’t say I blame him. He spent years turning these guys into stars down in OVW and this is what they get on the main roster. I’m still somewhat convinced that WWE decided to ruin these guys for the sake of annoying him/showing that they’re smarter than their own developmental. How else can you make sense of people like Rico or what the Bashams were just a few months ago?

We look back at Dupree and Cena earlier.

Judgment Day rundown. All three announced matches.

JBL is in New York to look at the Statue of Liberty and talk about how legal immigrants come to America this way. Eddie Guerrero and his family snuck across the border though and it’s a cancer that must be destroyed. Oh and poor people suck too. So let me make sure I’ve got this straight. We have a guy from Texas who brags about how awesome New York City it while pushing ideas that the deep south would probably love, despite not being fans of people from the north, as in New York City. Brilliance!

Eddie Guerrero vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Non-title with Heyman and Angle at ringside. D-Von’s early distraction lets Bubba score with a clothesline and the right hands in the corner begin. A headscissors gets Eddie out of trouble and a middle rope crossbody gets two. Bubba ties him in the Tree of Woe for a few loud chops though as Angle smiles evily.

Back up and Eddie sends Bubba outside for the plancha onto both Dudleys as we take a break. We come back with Eddie fighting out of a sleeper but getting punched back into the corner. Bubba gets two off a neckbreaker and grabs a headscissors on the mat of all things. Of course Bubba misses the middle rope backsplash and Eddie hits two of the Three Amigos.

The ref gets bumped and Bubba hits the Bubba Bomb for no cover. Another attempt is countered into a DDT to give Eddie two so Heyman gets on the apron. Somehow the referee doesn’t notice D-Von going up for the Doomsday Device but Eddie victory rolls Bubba for the pin.

Rating: D+. It was slightly better than last week thanks to being a few minutes shorter and because Bubba is a better singles wrestler than D-Von but it’s still nowhere near good enough to be the main event. On top of that, they’re doing this mini feud with the Dudleys before we get to the JBL match, probably because they know how bad the JBL feud really is. Not a terrible match, but another boring one.

Post match the beatdown is on until Van Dam comes in for the saves. Stereo frog splashes hit the Dudleys and Angle makes the tag match for next week.

Overall Rating: D-. And somehow, that’s an upgrade. Just having Van Dam joining in at the end gave the show a little bit more of a spark, but having the Dudleys and JBL as the top heel wrestlers is death to the show. The whole show is so boring and there’s nothing that’s going to fix it anytime soon. It’s getting harder and harder to watch the show and things are likely only going to get worse. Just….be better. Please? Like, maybe a decent match for a change? Is that too much to ask for?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 26, 2004
Location: Landon Arena, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

They don’t have to go far to beat Smackdown this week. We’re still a week away from the big Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit title match so you can probably bet on a lot of hype for that one tonight. Other than that Edge and Benoit are the new Tag Team Champions and Evolution won’t be happy. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Shawn challenging Benoit last week and Benoit and Edge winning the titles.

Opening sequence.

Lita/Victoria vs. Gail Kim/Molly Holly

Lita is especially smiley this week while Molly’s hair is now longer, brown and curly. Victoria and Gail start things off and it’s a very early dancing moonsault (again with the camera facing Victoria’s front) for two. Molly comes in for a quickly broken cravate so it’s off to Gail to keep beating on Victoria. An elbow knocks Lita off the apron and Gail grabs a Black Widow to take Victoria down. That’s broken up pretty quickly and the hot tag brings in Lita to clean house. A spinning belly to back suplex gets two on Gail and Molly loses the wig. Molly sends Victoria into the barricade, leaving Lita to DDT Gail for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not terrible as they take care of the issue from Backlash. It’s not like the women’s division means anything at the moment (and it hasn’t for years) so having the women trade wins don’t exactly help or hurt anything. They kept it short here and nothing was terribly botched so that’s about all you can ask for.

Post match Molly beats up Lita some more but here’s Kane of all people to interrupt. Just like last week Lita isn’t smart enough to roll under the bottom rope and get out so Kane strokes her cheek and smells her neck. She finally runs away and, after a break, runs into Matt Hardy in the back. Matt says he’s facing Kane tonight and he’ll take care of her. Kane shows up and beats Matt down as Lita wisely runs for a change.

Here’s Kansas’ own Coach for a chat. He brags about not choking like all of the Kansas college teams but here’s Tajiri to interrupt. Tajiri calls him a liar and wants a rematch tonight. That’s a no so Coach puts in an order for Chinese food. That means a kick to the head…and here’s HHH to interrupt. HHH kicks him low and asks why Shawn is getting the title shot. It was Shawn who tapped out at Backlash and that’s why HHH should be getting the shot instead. With Tajiri getting up, HHH says he’s just like Shawn because he doesn’t know when to get up. That means some green mist and the blind HHH freaks out as Tajiri runs.

Post break HHH goes into Bischoff’s office and yells at a plant (as in a potted plant) about wanting Tajiri tonight. Eric leaves and HHH yells at the empty room. Because he can’t see.

Rob Conway vs. Rhyno

Eugene and William Regal show up at commentary. Eugene: “French Canadians! Pat Patterson first Intercontinental Champion Rio de Janeiro 1979!” JR to Lawler: “You didn’t even know that.” The USA chants begin and Eugene joins in before heading down next to the Titantron for some cartwheels. Rhyno gets two off a belly to belly but gets thrown over the top.

Conway chokes on the ropes as Eugene has stolen some popcorn and come back to commentary. Regal: “No don’t put that in your ear!” Conway gets two off a kick to the ribs and the referee is nearly jumping as he counts the two. Eugene is over in the tech area as Conway whips Rhyno into the corner and gets two off a clothesline. Some pyro goes off thanks to Eugene pushing buttons, allowing Rhyno to hit a Gore (the only significant offense of the match) for the pin.

Rating: D. The wrestling was just a backdrop for the Eugene stuff but it feels like innocent, harmless fun. That’s the way they should be treating him and Regal as the funny straight man is the perfect foil. This was a lot of fun and I’m starting to remember why I was a big fan of the guy back in the day.

Post break La Resistance wants to fight Eugene tonight but Regal says that can’t happen. Johnny Nitro makes Eugene vs. Conway in two weeks.

Edge and Benoit are cut off by Shawn, who reminds him of their match next week. Shawn leaves and Edge wants Benoit to stay focused on tonight.

Here are Christian, Trish Stratus and Tyson Tomko for a chat before a match. Christian talks about Jericho being a problem and needing a problem solver.

Christian vs. Grandmaster Sexay

Sexay gets jumped to start as JR goes back to the 1800s for insults about Trish. A flapjack lets Sexay dance a bit and a middle rope dropkick gets two. The reverse DDT is broken up and a cactus crossbody puts them both on the floor. Back in and Tomko offers a distraction to break up the Hip Hop Drop. The Unprettier gives Christian the easy pin.

Post match Tomko kicks Sexay in the face but Jericho’s music hits. Tomko is sent into the aisle but Jericho comes in through the crowd and gets Trish in the Walls for all of two seconds.

HHH vs. Tajiri

HHH, with a somewhat green face, is still wiping his eyes and hammers away to start. Tajiri gets choked on the mat as the fans remind HHH that he tapped out. Some kicks knock HHH down and the handspring elbow gets two as the fans are already into this one. That’s enough to send HHH outside for a breather but Tajiri smacks him in the face and sends him head first into the steps. HHH gets back in at nine and the Buzzsaw kick is blocked.

Tajiri kicks away even more but walks into the spinebuster as Lawler makes more and more jokes about Tajiri’s accent. A hard whip sends Tajiri into the corner but he’s right back with a spinwheel kick. The Octopus Hold is countered by a HHH hiptoss and the Tarantula doesn’t go on full. Instead Tajiri goes with a missile dropkick that knocks HHH into the referee. The mist misses though and the Pedigree finally finishes Tajiri.

Rating: C+. This was much better than I was expecting with Tajiri working hard and HHH actually giving him a lot. You don’t see a midcarder going move for move like this with a top star very often and it makes for a very refreshing match. HHH didn’t lose anything here and Tajiri looked better than he has in a long time. Now why can’t we get something like this a little more often?

We recap the Lita/Kane/Matt Hardy stuff.

Kane vs. Matt Hardy

Matt, who always meets his deadlines, can barely walk to the ring. Kane wastes no time in beating him down and chokes on the ropes. A whip sends Matt chest first into the buckle and there’s the chokeslam. Kane chokeslams him again but Lita runs in to save Matt from the Tombstone. Lita lets him kiss her and Kane walks out. Angle instead of a match.

Victoria tried to get people to vote.

Lawler is in the ring to promote the Divas Magazine, because he’s the only one you could get to talk about the thing. We see some shots on the Titantron and here’s Stacy Keibler to help things out. What is she doing here you ask? Meeting Harley Race, sitting in the front row, of course. Therefore cue Randy Orton as JR panics. Orton says he’s the only real legend around here and has already accomplished more than Race has in his whole career. Race shaking his head is worth a chuckle and Orton goes out to spit on him. That draws Race over the barricade but Shelton Benjamin (hey he’s still here) to jump Orton for the save.

Smackdown Rebound. That show needs no more attention.

Batista and Flair want their titles back. Apparently Batista hasn’t been able to sleep since losing the titles and that will NEVER happen again. He screams everything he says here but does earn himself a WOO.

Tag Team Titles: Ric Flair/Batista vs. Edge/Chris Benoit

Benoit and Edge are defending and Edge still has a cast on his hand. Flair and Benoit hit the mat for an early standoff with Flair slicking the hair back. With the technical stuff not interesting him, Benoit chops in the corner and hits a backdrop. Flair goes for the leg (well duh) and it’s already off to Batista. Edge comes in as well and stomps the big man down in the corner until the running clothesline takes his head off.

Flair comes back in and gets taken down into a weird looking half crab (Edge is turned halfway around instead of facing backwards), followed by a Figure Four as tends to be required in Flair matches. Of course Flair knows the counter so it’s back to Benoit for more chops and a Flair Flop (earning some appreciative applause). Benoit chops him so much that it’s a second Flop but Edge walks into an atomic drop.

A knee to the back sends Edge hard into the corner and Batista sends the bad hand into the steps as we take a break. Back with Edge sending Batista face first into the buckle and the hot tag bringing in Benoit. They’re not wasting time with this one. Everything breaks down and Flair is clotheslined to the floor, leaving Batista to take the rolling German suplexes. The Swan Dive sets up the Crossface but Flair is back in for the save.

We settle back into the standard operating procedure here with Flair tossing Benoit into the corner and Batista adds a suplex. The half crab keeps Benoit in trouble and Flair gets two off a chop. You don’t chop with Benoit so Flair takes him down by the legs to bring Batista back in. An enziguri gets Benoit out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Edge. Everything breaks down again and Batista spinebusts Benoit. That allows Flair to load up the Figure Four, only to eat the spear to retain the titles.

Rating: B. Hot tag match here with a clean finish, which is a lot more than I was expecting. They’re rolling with the idea of longer wrestling matches at the moment and that makes for a very fun ending like this one. Edge and Benoit’s roll continues and Edge’s feud with Kane is forgotten more every week, thank goodness.

Post match HHH comes in to beat the Canadians down but here’s Shawn for the save with a chair. He hits Benoit by mistake (dun dun dun) and that’s not cool with Edge. They calm down but Benoit is up with the Sharpshooter to Shawn to end the show. Good way to set up next week’s title match.

Overall Rating: B-. There’s some stuff on here that isn’t as entertaining as the rest but it’s such an easy show to watch and they’re making it a lot of fun every single week. Above all else they’re not just focusing on one or two things and leaving the rest out to dry. Build up the entire show and the good parts will look even better as a result. If you happen to get something fun like Eugene as a bonus, it’s even better. Another good show this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6