Monday Night Raw
Date: March 22, 2004
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Things are staying hot around here with the second annual Draft (called a Lottery this year), meaning people are going to be changing shows. Tonight everyone from both rosters are here and they have a chance to go from Raw to Smackdown or vice versa. This could be anywhere between really interesting and a big waste of time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The locker rooms are assembled, of course in their matching show shirts because UNITY!

Eric Bischoff and Paul Heyman (in a neck brace thanks to an Undertaker Tombstone) are glaring at each other when Vince McMahon comes in to explain the concept: there will be a tumbler for each roster with six picks from either show. At the end of the night, there can be trades until midnight. Bischoff asks about champions and Vince says EVERYONE is eligible, including Randy Orton, who isn’t here tonight.

Opening sequence.

The GM’s come out for their first picks but Heyman has to give a speech about being attacked on Smackdown. He’ll deal with Undertaker on Thursday, but it’s time for the first pick: Rene Dupree.

After a quick photo op, Dupree comes to the ring to say he doesn’t want his last moment on Raw to be taking a beating from Steve Austin. Therefore, let’s have a match right now.

Chris Jericho vs. Rene Dupree

Dupree shoves him into the corner for a slap but gets taken down and smacked in the face over and over. The Walls don’t work so Jericho settles for the springboard dropkick off the apron. Back in and Jericho dropkicks him out of the air, setting up the French Tickler. Dupree tries it twice for some reason and Jericho rolls him up (with trunks) for two. Jericho hits a running crotch attack to the back and the step up enziguri is good for the pin.

Rating: D. I’m not sure what the point is in having your first draft pick lose clean in a short match but then again I’m not sure what the point is in having Rene Dupree as the first pick. The new aggressive Jericho is good and him winning like this would have made sense on any other night, but here it’s kind of questionable.

Post match Dupree yells a lot more so here’s Austin for a Stunner to send him to Smackdown. Beer is consumed.

Bischoff, after insulting Smackdown, makes his first pick to Raw: Shelton Benjamin. I’m still not sure why that team only got two Tag Team Title reigns and both of them in 2003.

Rico is in the ring for a match but it’s not Shelton coming out to face him.

Kane vs. Rico

Chokeslam in about twenty seconds.

Post match Kane makes it clear: he does NOT want to be on the same show as Undertaker. Kane leaves so Heyman makes his next pick: Mark Jindrak.

After a break, Bischoff’s pick is Nidia. This draft has been….interesting so far. Nidia’s graphic bio includes her measurements because what else could it be? Nidia comes out and takes off her Smackdown top to replace it with the Raw one.

It’s Heyman’s turn but here’s John Cena to interrupt again to a rather nice reaction. Cena says Heyman is wearing the neck brace because he’s blowing the whole lottery. Both shows want him but this isn’t a junior high dance so keep your pants on. Cena makes the next pick and hands Heyman one ball, though he still has no…..you can figure that out. Heyman and Bischoff argue over whether or not this counts but Bischoff insists. The pick is HHH, who does a spit take in the locker room. It’s about time we got a big name. The Raw locker room singes the Goodbye Song in a funny bit.

Christian vs. Spike Dudley

Spike charges to the ring and hits the running headbutt to the ribs. Some right hands in the corner draw Trish up to the apron for a distraction, allowing Christian to take over. Spike reverses a slam into a DDT and hits a big dive off the top to the floor. Back in and a top rope double stomp gives Spike two more but he gets sent into the post. The Unprettier gives Christian the pin.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match in the world as Spike was trying. There was no way that Christian was losing this soon though, especially when you have him facing Spike Dudley. They’re going to keep a lot of the matches short tonight though and that’s the right call, especially given how big tonight is. Spike was trying though and that’s not exactly a surprise.

A distressed Bischoff is ready to make his next pick but leaves to find Vince. Post break Vince says nothing can be done but Heyman comes in with an idea: tonight we have Eddie Guerrero defend the WWE Title against HHH. That’s the kind of thing Vince would do so he’s down with the idea.

Back in the arena, Bischoff picks Rhyno and gives him a shot at Chris Benoit tonight.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Evolution vs. Rob Van Dam/Booker T.

Ric Flair and Batista are challenging. Booker dropkicks Flair to start but gets chopped down, allowing the double tags to bring in Batista and Van Dam. That lasts all of ten seconds before it’s back to Booker, who is driven into the wrong corner. Flair comes back in and gets punched into a Flair Flop, followed by the required backdrop. A poke to the eye and more chops have Booker in trouble but he scores with a kick to the face.

Van Dam tags himself in and hits the fastest Five Star I’ve ever seen but Batista makes the save as we take a break. Back with Booker fighting out of a chinlock as they’re not exactly having people stay in the ring for very long. A Hart Attack with Van Dam coming in off the top with a kick to the face instead of a clothesline gets two on Batista. Flair chop blocks Van Dam down though and the champs are in trouble again. A few kicks to the leg set up the Figure Four but Van Dam is pretty close to the ropes.

Rob gets up and hits a spinwheel kick (with very little elevation due to the leg) to Flair’s arm (called the nose by JR), allowing the hot tag off to Booker. The Book End drops Batista and we hit the Spinarooni. An ax kick gets two with Flair making the save so Rob gives him Rolling Thunder. Rob tries to break up the Batista Bomb but kicks Booker by mistake, setting up the Batista Bomb to give us new champions.

Rating: D+. Is it any wonder that Booker and Van Dam are forgotten champions? They won the titles, held them for about a month, and lost them back to the same team. Now the question is whether Booker or Van Dam go to Smackdown, though both of them would benefit from the move. Evolution getting the titles back is hardly thrilling, but it’s not like any of the other teams are worth anything at the moment.

Heyman makes his next pick and it’s….Rob Van Dam. So there’s your answer to the previous question. For some reason Van Dam’s bio includes being an ECW Tag Team Champion but not the ECW TV Champion.

Booker and Van Dam promise to get the belts back because they have a rematch clause. Coach comes in to say no rematch because Van Dam is going to Smackdown. This is news to Van Dam and Booker isn’t happy.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno

Benoit is defending and comes out wearing the title, I believe for the first time. They chops it out to start and Benoit runs him over with a hard elbow. An Alley Oop onto the top turnbuckle gets Rhyno out of trouble and he puts on a pretty good looking Sharpshooter. Benoit makes the rope and can’t get a Sharpshooter of his own. Instead he settles for the rolling German suplexes to set up the Swan Dive but Rhyno plants him with a spinebuster. The Gore is reversed into the Crossface though and Rhyno taps.

Rating: C-. Totally watchable match and there’s nothing wrong with giving Benoit a short win on a big show. Benoit is still getting established as champion and wins like this, where he Crossfaces anyone he faces, are going to help him. It’s not like Rhyno loses anything by tapping out here so everything is fine.

Shawn Michaels comes up to Bischoff and demands a trade to Smackdown so he can fight HHH. Instead, Bischoff gives him a title shot at Backlash, assuming he and Benoit stay on Raw. That’s cool with Shawn, likely along with several other people.

Bischoff gets another pick: Tajiri.

Heyman goes next and gets Theodore Long. Jazz is happy to see him go because he never made her any money anyway.

We keep going as Bischoff picks Edge. It’s about time Raw got someone big.

Smackdown’s last pick is Spike Dudley.

We’ll wrap it up with the final Raw pick, which is….Paul Heyman himself. Heyman panics and Bischoff makes it worse by suggesting that Heyman can wash his car. That’s a big negative though as Heyman refuses to come work for Bischoff and quits instead. Bischoff goes to the ring to celebrate but here’s the returning Edge (to a BIG reaction) to spear him down.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. HHH

Eddie is defending and HHH is still in his Raw shirt….which he tears off to reveal a Smackdown shirt. The early handshake offer is switched into Eddie telling HHH what he can kiss so HHH takes him into the corner. A hiptoss gets Eddie out of trouble and it’s an armdrag into an armbar on the arm that was in a sling last week. The rope gets HHH out of trouble and he heads outside, only to have Eddie ram the arm into the steps. Back in and the jumping knee cuts Eddie off and we take a break.

We come back with HHH whipping him into the steps and various other objects to work on Eddie’s back. A pair of hard whips into the corner stays on the back and a backbreaker plants Eddie again. HHH slaps on the abdominal stretch but gets caught grabbing the ropes. Smackdown referees don’t go for cheating like that. Eddie fights up and gets two off a tornado DDT but the facebuster gives HHH the same.

The Pedigree is countered into a catapult into the corner and Eddie hits the Three Amigos (FINALLY dubbed that by Tazz). Cue Flair and Batista though as JR and King suddenly take over on commentary. Batista hands HHH the title but here are Mysterio and Cena to even things up a bit. The distracted referee misses Shawn Michaels running in with Sweet Chin Music on HHH. Eddie goes up for the frog splash but Christian of all people shoves him off for the DQ.

Rating: B. This is more of a curiosity than anything else but it turned out to be a heck of a match. When you get rid of all the Evolution shenanigans (and HHH winning), you can actually get a very good performance from HHH. Eddie is of course golden right now and they made me believe a title change was possible. Good match, which this show needed.

The locker rooms empty out and it’s a big brawl. Kane and Big Show come out very late but here’s Austin on the ATV to bring out more Raw guys and beat up some goons to end the show. Cool moment, though I doubt it leads anywhere save for maybe a quick bit on Smackdown.

The final Draft moves:

To Raw

1. Shelton Benjamin

2. Nidia

3. Rhyno

4. Tajiri

5. Edge

6. Paul Heyman

To Smackdown

1. Rene Dupree

2. Mark Jindrak

3. HHH

4. Rob Van Dam

5. Theodore Long

6. Spike Dudley

Overall Rating: C. Aside from the main event this wasn’t much of a wrestling show, but at least we got a good main event and some interesting changes. The midcards of both shows need some upgrades so switching things up is a good idea. Now just do something new with those names and maybe we can go somewhere this summer.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: March 18, 2004
Location: FleetCenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the first show after Wrestlemania and, much like this week’s Monday Night Raw, the level of importance of this show might be pretty low. Eddie Guerrero is still Smackdown World Champion, having vanquished Kurt Angle, meaning he now needs a new challenger. There aren’t many options though and that makes things a little more complicated. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Wrestlemania if you need a recap.

Here’s hometown boy and new US Champion John Cena to open things up. Cena is glad to be home and talks about how he used to buy tickets for the old Boston Gardens. Back at Wrestlemania, he put Big Show on an FU diet and Show came out ten pounds lighter. Cena brings championships home like he’s Tom Brady. The FCC is getting on him and they suck just like the Yankees. It’s time for Cena’s first match but here’s Paul Heyman instead.

Heyman confirms that Brock Lesnar is gone from Smackdown and WWE as well, so maybe Cena can be the new face of the show. This Monday though, Cena might be getting sent over the Monday Night Raw. If Heyman was one of the superstars in the locker room, he would be on his knees praying to be drafted to Raw. Everyone left on Smackdown will be suffering Heyman’s wrath and that includes Cena. Heyman slaps him and gets knocked down but here’s Rhyno to start the title match.

US Title: John Cena vs. Rhyno

Cena is defending and takes an early spinebuster for two. He charges into a hard elbow in the corner to make it worse but the fans are still behind him, despite his tendency to charge in too soon. The real comeback (after being on defense for all of a minute) starts with some shoulders and the Shuffle, complete with pumping up the shoes. The FU retains the title in a hurry. Cena has taken about three giant steps forward into stardom since winning the title and you can see that fire in his eyes.

Edge is coming back. Still no date given.

Heyman is upset by what happened but runs into the APA, who laugh at him over what they saw. Therefore, if they don’t win the Tag Team Titles tonight, they’re fired.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi vs. APA

Rikishi and Scotty are defending. Bradshaw starts with Scotty, who tags out for the showdown with Rikishi. A slugout goes badly as Rikishi takes over with a headbutt and now it’s off to Scotty for some right hands of his own. Scotty’s middle rope crossbody goes as badly as you would expect and Faarooq comes in to slowly punch away. Bradshaw comes back in for a torture rack (still would be a great finisher for someone) and Faarooq puts on the chinlock.

Faarooq starts jumping onto Scotty’s back but eventually lands on raised knees, ala Arn Anderson. A tornado DDT to Bradshaw gets Scotty out of trouble and it’s off to Rikishi for the house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Faarooq breaks up the Worm with a right hand. Now why did no one else ever think of that? Not that it matters as Rikishi superkicks Bradshaw to retain.

Rating: D. Pretty bad match here and that’s not exactly a surprise. Why would you expect the APA to do anything more than bad at this point? They haven’t had a good match in a long time and it’s way past their expiration date. Scotty and Rikishi aren’t very good champions but with the rest of the available options, they’re about as high a level as we’re reaching right now.

Post break the APA storms into Heyman’s office so he can fire them to their faces. The thing is, they didn’t listen to Heyman because only Faarooq is fired (Heyman did say that if Faarooq and his partner didn’t win “you are fired”) because Bradshaw has too much value. Faarooq says they’re both out of here but Bradshaw stays, turning himself heel in the process. It should be noted that Faarooq was fired earlier in the day so this wasn’t the most shocking result.

We see Vince’s Lottery announcement from Raw.

Dawn Marie has gathered Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas, Billy Gunn and Rey Mysterio in a locker room. Heyman comes in to talk about the Smackdown locker room being united against him last week so tonight, they’re going to play Divide and Conquer. He can’t control what happens on Monday, but he can control what happens tonight. The four of them are running a gauntlet and the winner gets a WWE Title shot tonight. Haas and Benjamin aren’t interested in fighting each other so Heyman makes them the first part of the gauntlet.

Video on Wrestlemania.

Gauntlet Match

Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin get things going, showing off their blue and gold singlets. To the shock of no one, they go straight to the mat for a fight over arm control. Charlie gets the better of it for all of a few seconds before they get back to their feet where Shelton takes over with a headlock. That takes us to a standoff until they fight over a top wristlock. This time it’s Haas taking him down into a leglock, which is reversed into another headlock.

Shelton tosses him down and taps Charlie on the jaw, meaning it’s time to get serious. After a trip to the floor, they’re right back inside with Shelton hooking a front facelock. Shelton slaps him in the jaw again and Charlie isn’t having any of that. Back in and Haas gets two off a suplex (you would have expected more than that), followed by a bridging German suplex for the same. Shelton jumps over him in the corner though and the Dragon Whip (to the chest) is good for the pin.

Back from a break, Faarooq tries to leave but gets stopped by Bradshaw, who begs him not to leave. Bradshaw is a freaking one man conglomerate and he can’t be fired just because Faarooq said something stupid.

Now back to the match with Billy Gunn in third to face Shelton. Gunn takes too long getting in so Shelton stomps away in the corner. A running clothesline drops Gunn again and they head to the floor. This goes a bit better for Gunn as Shelton is whipped into the barricade for two back inside. Shelton doesn’t seem to mind as he elbows Gunn in the face and knees him hard in the head. Gunn gets out of a reverse chinlock with a jawbreaker and catches a charging Shelton with a raised boot. The good looking tilt-a-whirl powerslam gets two but the Fameasser misses. Shelton grabs a rollup (and the rope) for the upset (Maybe?) pin.

Before we get to the next name, here’s Big Show to say he’s not happy about losing the US Title to a cheater like Cena and is entering the gauntlet as the last man.

Back to the match again with Mysterio as the fourth man. They trade some rollups to start until Shelton snaps off an exploder suplex to take over. A delayed belly to back suplex gets two and some knees in the corner have Rey in even more trouble. Shelton whips him hard into the buckles and it’s off to a cross armbreaker. That switches over to a regular armbar, which Rey reverses into the sitout bulldog. Shelton is right back with a powerslam but Rey slips out of a German suplex. The 619 lets Rey Drop the Dime for the pin in the best section of the gauntlet so far.

Hall of Fame video. Why are they doing all of these breaks in between the matches?

So it’s Mysterio vs. Big Show for the title shot with Rey getting smart early on by rolling to the floor. Back in and Rey dives between Show’s legs but gets backed into the corner, allowing Show to toss him around. Show stands on Rey’s head but Rey snaps him throat first across the top. A springboard missile dropkick rocks Show, who kicks Rey in the face for two as the comeback is cut off in a hurry.

Show standing on Rey’s back has Mysterio bailing outside again, this time with a good bit more pain. Back in and Show gives him a rather impressive gorilla press drop, launching Rey into the air so the crash is even bigger. Cue Cena for a distraction though with Show going outside to get him, allowing Rey to hit a 619. The referee yells at Rey, allowing Cena to get in a belt shot to bounce Show off the post for the countout.

Rating: D-. This was a bunch of lame matches and while the most interesting choice won, it felt like they were doing the least interesting thing they possibly could have, which made this a very long match with almost nothing standing out as good. Mysterio vs. Benjamin was passable, which is probably why it was the shortest section of the whole thing. At least the title match has serious potential though.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is challenging and they shake hands to start. An exchange of wristlocks and armdrags give us a standoff with Rey holding his arm. Eddie trips him down and puts on a headlock, only to have Rey snap off a heck of a headscissors to send the champ outside. Rey motions that he wants the title as Eddie looks stunned. Back in and Rey slaps him in the face for some reason so Eddie sends him arm first into the buckle to stop Rey cold. An armbar goes on but Rey realizes he’s next to the rope for a fast break.

Eddie, having a brain, takes him down into another armbar but Rey, being Rey, spins out and monkey flips Eddie down. Mysterio pulls him to the floor for an Asai moonsault and we take a break. Back with Eddie hitting a top rope superplex for two and staying on the back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. To really crank things up, Eddie puts on a cross between a Gory Stretch and a chickenwing (egads that looks painful), making Rey tap twice. Why these taps (with Tazz and Cole saying Rey is tapping, as he’s clearly slapping his shoulder) don’t count isn’t clear but Rey reverses into a small package for two.

Eddie takes him down again and twists the arm even more, followed by some stomping to the arm. Rey fights out of another armbar and tries a springboard moonsault to Eddie’s back, driving him face first into the mat for two. The springboard seated senton gets the same as the pace is picking up. There’s a tornado DDT for two more but Rey is spent. Two rolling verticals connect but Rey reverses the third into a rollup. Eddie finally hits the third and tries the frog splash, which only hits mat. Rey hits the 619 and Rey Drops the Dime but Eddie rolls away. La majistral retains Eddie’s title.

Rating: B+. Oh come on like these two were going to have anything short of a great match. They know each other so well and it was no surprise that they were able to tear it up out there. Mysterio wasn’t likely to win but he’s good enough to make you believe that a miracle could happen to give him the title. That’s a valuable asset and Mysterio can do it as well as almost anyone else ever.

Post match Heyman comes out to say he didn’t know Spanish was the new language around here. He hopes Eddie and Rey’s families get deported because they have no place on his Smackdown. Next week he’s the only person guaranteed to be on Smackdown….and the gong strikes. Heyman decides to get back in the ring with Mysterio and Guerrero as Undertaker takes off the coat and hat (revealing a bandanna for a weird look). Eddie shoves him into a Tombstone to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. It says a lot when a really good Eddie vs. Rey match can’t save your show. This was as much of a punt of a show as you could imagine and unfortunately that’s not the biggest surprise in the world. They could have done something better than this, but I guess Shelton Benjamin vs. Billy Gunn was one of their best available ideas at the moment. Really lame show, but I can kind of understand why it happened.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 15, 2004
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,148
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for the season premiere as we’re past Wrestlemania XX and Chris Benoit is the Raw World Champion. That should open up some fresh doors, but a rematch with HHH is the most likely way to go. It’s time to start getting ready for Backlash, and that could mean a few different things. Let’s get to it.

Here are Wrestlemania’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s HHH (you can’t make up jokes like this) with his arm in a sling and anger levels higher than normal. He can’t even speak and a BENOIT chant makes it even worse. HHH finally manages to talk, saying that one match doesn’t make someone the best. Putting a belt around your waist one time doesn’t mean a thing. It’s about defending the title night after night, month after month. That’s what makes you the best.

HHH has beaten them all every single night, which is why he woke up this morning. Yeah he tapped out and maybe that can make the fans happy. Last night was 2-1 and it took both of them to beat him. That’s how he knew he was still the best when he looked in the mirror. He’s not done with Chris Benoit, because Benoit is the new target. When the arm heals, he’s coming for Benoit, but here’s the new champ to interrupt.

Benoit beat both Shawn Michaels and HHH last night to earn this title. When the arm gets better, HHH can bring on his rematch because Benoit will make him tap over and over. HHH says not on Benoit’s best day, so Benoit hits with the belt to send HHH running. Evolution comes in and Shawn makes the save. Sounds tag matchish. Cue Eric Bischoff to make the 3-2 handicap main event but also to say that Vince McMahon is here for a huge announcement. Good opening though, as Benoit looks like a star and HHH finally gives something up.

Post break Shawn says he made the save because he wants Benoit healthy for a future title shot. Makes some sense, but wouldn’t it make more to have Benoit take a beating and then make the save?

Victoria/Lita vs. Jazz/Molly Holly

Molly already has the wig on, now sporting hair down to her elbows. The chin strap doesn’t hide much either. It’s a brawl to start with Molly rubbing Victoria’s face in the mat and Jazz coming in for a legdrop. The fans chant MOLLY’S BALD as Victoria comes back with a middle rope moonsault to take Jazz down. It’s already off to Lita for some running clotheslines and a headscissors. Molly kicks her in the back though and there goes the wig, revealing a very round bald head. That sends her running, leaving Lita to DDT Jazz for the pin.

Rating: D. This was nothing but the visual gag and they were smart enough to keep things moving. There isn’t much of a reason to go with some big new angle so soon after last night’s huge show so just go with some lighthearted fallout like this. If nothing else, points to Molly for shaving the whole thing off. Not many people would do that.

Stills of Chris Jericho vs. Christian with Trish Stratus turning on Jericho for reasons that will need to be explained. Evil Trish is always worth a look.

The ticked off Jericho won’t answer any questions.

Matt Hardy vs. Chris Jericho

I feel bad for Matt, who is ridiculous underrated. Jericho is as aggressive as you would expect and clotheslines the heck out of Matt before choking away. A rake to the eyes allows Matt to hit a belly to back suplex. Jerry: “Maybe Jericho and Fozzy can redo the old Rolling Stones song: I can’t get no Stratusfaction.” Jericho throws him outside and chokes with an electrical cord for the DQ. That’s the best way to go here and Matt doesn’t even lose for once.

During the break, Jericho leaves without saying a word.

Randy Orton wants Mick Foley one on one. How will Foley feel about his son Huey growing up with Orton as a role model instead of his dad? Those are fighting words.

La Resistance is here, now with the returning Sylvan Grenier and Fifi the poodle. Steve Austin comes in to stare at Fifi and gives the French b**** a ticket. He means Rene Dupree, who isn’t happy and speaks French to show off the anger. If this is where Austin is now, he might as well leave now.

Val Venis vs. Kane

Before the match, a fan gets to remove Val Venis’ towel. She’s happy enough that she tries to flash Val but the pyro cuts her off. Side slam, top rope clothesline and chokeslam in about forty seconds.

Hall of Fame ceremony video.

Miss Jackie vs. Stacy Keibler

Jackie shoves her outside before the bell but gets kicked in the face as we actually start. Stacy chokes in the corner, only to get snapmared into a chinlock…and here’s Vince to stop the match because he has something more important to talk about.

Vince says it’s time to shake things up around here because people are getting too complacent. The fans want new superstars, new matches and new rivalries. Therefore, next week, the Smackdown superstars will be here next week for a good old fashioned lottery. Everyone from Steve Austin to Mick Foley vs. Kurt Angle to Eddie Guerrero will be in the lottery and even Vince’s relatives could be changing shows.

Post break Eric Bischoff isn’t sure what to think when Evolution comes in to say they can’t be split up. HHH demands that he stay on Raw but Bischoff says it’s out of his hands.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Rob Van Dam/Booker T.

Van Dam and Booker are defending. Booker declines a handshake from Bubba in a bit of an out of character move. They fight over a lockup to start until Booker’s leapfrog is shoved away in what might have been a slight botch. D-Von comes in and gets clotheslined so it’s off to Van Dam for some kicks to the chest. Rob kicks Bubba down as well and brings Booker back in as the chemistry isn’t exactly flowing at the moment.

An elbow to the jaw gives Bubba….nothing as Rob made a blind tag and come in off the top with a stomp to the back. A suplex takes Booker down as the champs are wrestling as heels for some reason, despite being faces for their entire run now. It’s back to D-Von for some fast right hands and a neckbreaker gets two on Booker. Everything breaks down and the 3D hits Booker, with Van Dam making the last second save. It’s a very bad sign when one of the biggest finishers of all time gets no reaction.

Van Dam comes in and takes a running neckbreaker out of the corner to send him all the way outside. We actually take a break and come back with Van Dam hitting a spinwheel kick. Booker is still down on the floor though so Bubba comes in and smacks Van Dam in the head. Something like a brainbuster gets two and D-Von puts on a neck crank. A reverse chinlock from Bubba keeps this going because going twice as long as they should have just isn’t enough.

Rob finally kicks him away and gets over to Booker for the hot tag. Booker cleans house to very little reaction A spinebuster plants D-Von and there’s the Spinarooni. The scissors kick into the Five Star gets two on Bubba as D-Von makes the save. The Bubba Bomb is blocked and Booker hits the Book End to retain.

Rating: D. What the heck was that? I know some teams don’t have the best chemistry together but egads this felt like they were told to just go out there and fill in about twenty minutes no matter how bad it was. You don’t get to often say this but the match was about three times longer than it needed to be. If you cut this WAY down it might have been ok, but as it is it’s a long mess with the fans not caring in the slightest.

Video on last night’s show.

Spike Dudley comes out for a match but Christian and Trish Stratus jump him from behind. Christian hits an Unprettier on the floor and Trish makes a fast count. What a cheater. Christian introduces Trish for the big explanation, which starts with the big bet from Jericho (Christian’s participation is forgotten, as is Lita’s). Trish: “What kind of a cheap s*** do you think that I am anyway?”

It’s a shame that Chris’ night ended prematurely because she wound up screwing him instead. Well, actually screwing someone else. Christian insults New Jersey and says he won because he got the girl. Trish didn’t want someone who was bringing her flowers and candy because she was looking for something a little more rough. It’s Jericho’s fault that he won’t be getting any Stratusfaction. Kissing ensues.

La Resistance is panicking about being split but Dupree isn’t letting Austin get under his skin. Grenier will be here keeping Fifi company.

Here’s Dupree for a chat. There is a bad perception that the French are nothing but cowards. He raises the French flag to prove otherwise though and the Americans will learn that soon. A French rant brings out Austin to beat the heck out of Dupree without saying a word. I have no idea what this was supposed to accomplish.

Evolution vs. Shawn Michaels/Chris Benoit

HHH is out with the trio. Batista clotheslines Shawn’s head off to start and it’s off to Flair for a little less success. Some chops and a backdrop have Flair in trouble and Benoit comes in to keep it going. One heck of an elbow drops Flair and a snap suplex has him screaming, which to be fair isn’t the hardest job in the world. Benoit gets taken into the corner for some forearms from Orton but you don’t keep a new World Champion down for very long. Instead it’s Shawn coming in and taking the backbreaker (you can keep old Shawn’s down pretty easily)….and we see Foley arriving in the back.

The referee gets bumped and everything breaks down with Evolution taking over due to the power of numbers. Cue Foley to hammer on Orton though and send him into the crowd. With the numbers even, Shawn forearms Flair and nips up for the top rope elbow. HHH comes in with a Pedigree to cut off Sweet Chin Music (so much for the arm) and Flair gets a delayed two. For reasons of pure stupidity and overconfidence, Flair goes up and comes right back down.

We settle back down to Batista hitting the spinebuster for two on Shawn and slapping on the chinlock. Flair comes in to drop a knee and Shawn is busted open again. He’s fine enough to roll Flair up for two but can’t follow up. For some reason Flair is down too, meaning the hot tag can bring in Benoit. The German suplexes start up in a hurry, followed by the Swan Dive for two on Batista, who powers out without much effort. HHH comes in again but a Pedigree to Benoit is broken up with some Sweet Chin Music. Another superkick drops Flair and Batista taps to the Sharpshooter.

Rating: C+. You can see where things are going from here, assuming nothing changes next week in the Lottery. Foley vs. Orton was pretty clearly not over yet and you could guess about Shawn and HHH going after Benoit even more. The match itself was fun, though I question having Batista take the fall when you have Flair available to give up instead.

Overall Rating: C-. This was kind of a weird show as nothing really happened this week (the Lottery announcement is big, but for next week). Instead it felt like a recharged version of the stories continuing, which was fine as a lot of them were advanced last night. That long tag match in the middle ruined things though and there was no coming back from it. The other problem is how everything changes next week, leaving a lot of this rather useless. Not a bad show, but you wouldn’t have guessed it was the post-Wrestlemania show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

We have arrived right back where we started. There is something special about a WWE show in Madison Square Garden and there was really no other option for such a big milestone. You could argue that it’s a triple main event with Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar and Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle, but really this is going to be about HHH, Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels, as it really should be. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s Raw results and Smackdown results if you need a recap.

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful. That’s one of those Wrestlemania traditions that always makes me smile.

It’s so strange seeing Wrestlemania in an arena instead of a stadium.

The opening video starts with Vince McMahon in the dark and turns into a talk of the history of Wrestlemania. That means old Wrestlemania clips and I’m always good with those. WWE does know how to do these historical videos and you know they’re going to do it well on such a big occasion. The wrestlers talk about the importance of the Garden and how big this one night really is. We go back to Vince with the narration talking about how it all begins again, and the camera pans over to Shane, holding Vince’s newborn first grandson. That’s a really, really cool idea.

The ramp is on the left but there’s a small video screen opposite the hard camera as a nice homage to the old days in the Garden.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Show is defending for the third time since winning the title in October. Before the match, Cena says he isn’t losing to a gorilla like Big Show and implies that Show has small genitals. They stare each other down and Cena starts sticking and moving in a smart strategy. Well smart enough until Show shoves him to the floor.

Back in and a powerslam gets two on Cena, who gets a very loud chant from the crowd. Another slam keeps the pace slow and Show easily pulls him up for a suplex. Cole is hitting every Show line he can get, including the size 22 5E boot, the typewriter head and the frying pan chop. I don’t even want to imagine how much Vince is in his ear on this show. Cena’s comeback is cut off by a superkick and the standing legdrop gets two.

Show slaps on a cobra clutch and of course Cena fights up after a few moments. A raised boot in the corner sets up an FU (that never stops being impressive) for two and Cena is STUNNED. He’s so stunned that he grabs the chain but the referee takes it away, allowing Cena to hit Show with the brass knuckles, setting up another FU for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The crowd pulled this one up a bit though it’s still not a very good match. Show wasn’t exactly going to do anything at this point and that was on full display here. That being said, Cena hitting the FU for the pin was all that mattered and they nailed the finish. What more can you ask?

Jonathan Coachman is walking through the back and runs into a few people, such as Tom Prichard and Teddy Long, before finding Eric Bischoff and Johnny Spade/Blaze/whatever else. Eric has a job for him tonight: go find the Undertaker because there have been reports of strange noises.

Evolution (minus HHH of course) is in the same stairwell where Randy Orton kicked Mick Foley down the stairs to start their issues last June. We see some clips that really set up tonight’s match, mostly including Orton and Evolution beating up Foley and later, the Rock. Orton says it all begins again here, right where it started. Nice stuff here, as you can tell they’re working hard for Wrestlemania.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Booker T./Rob Van Dam vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. La Resistance

Booker and Van Dam are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Van Dam starts with Dupree and sends the French guy flying off a monkey flip. It’s off to Booker to beat up both Dupree and Conway so it’s Bubba coming in for some more successful forearms to the back. Say it with me: the fans want tables. For those fans who aren’t impressed enough by WRESTLEMANIA I guess.

Booker hits the side kick but Jindrak has the referee, allowing D-Von to make the save. Jindrak and Cade, thankfully in matching gear, take over with left hands to the face but Dupree tags himself in to steal a near fall. The double arm crank allows Conway to insult USA, which fires Booker up enough to hit a spinebuster. The hot tag brings in Van Dam to clean house as everything breaks down. Jindrak breaks up a 3D to Booker, who hits the ax kick into the Five Star on Conway to retain.

Rating: D. For the last few weeks, I’ve said that I didn’t think this warranted being on Wrestlemania. I’d now like to change that to knowing that it shouldn’t have been on Wrestlemania. The match doesn’t even run eight minutes and Booker was in there for more than six of those. Just do the Dudleys vs. Booker/Van Dam, or any of the regular teams for that matter. I mean, the better move would have been to not do the match and let the show be a bit shorter but that’s never been WWE’s style.

Coach investigates the sounds and finds Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan (BIG pop for those two) in a small room, pulling their clothes back on. Heenan insists that it’s NOT that kind of thing because they were playing cards. Heenan: “He was dealing!” Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young pull them back in, despite their screaming protests. Heenan: “I haven’t been well! My doctor would never allow me to go!” Coach just walks away. To be fair, this is way above his talent grade.

We recap Christian vs. Chris Jericho. They were best friends and made a bet over who could get together with Trish Stratus or Lita first. The girls found out about the bet and Trish snapped, only to have Jericho say he was falling for her. Jericho and Christian’s team suffered though and he attacked Jericho in the name of tough love. Christian even hit on Trish a bit as well, but then put her out of action with a Walls of Jericho. Now it’s time for Jericho to fight back in the first big showdown.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho wastes no time by punching him in the jaw and adding a clothesline for a bonus. A backdrop puts Christian on the floor and Jericho follows him out with a springboard dive. Back in and Christian backdrops him over the top and the big crash has Jericho in trouble for the first time. Back in and Christian cranks on the neck, followed by a chinlock for a change of pace.

A spinwheel kick gives Christian two but they ram heads to knock each other down. An exchange of rollups with an exchange of cheating get two each so Jericho goes with the bulldog. The Lionsault hits knees though and Christian grabs a backbreaker for two of his own. Christian grabs a Texas Cloverleaf to work on Jericho’s recently injured knee, which the announcers don’t actually mention.

That’s one of the reasons I was looking forward to watching this show with the TV beforehand. The Cloverleaf makes more sense when you know Jericho is coming in with a recent injury, but the commentators don’t bother mentioning it here, making the Cloverleaf seem a bit random. Jericho slips out and sends Christian to the floor, followed by a butterfly superplex for a delayed two. I believe there was a botched attempt that has been edited out of the Network version.

They’re both down so here’s Trish, with Lawler saying she can make jogging a spectator sport. An implant DDT gives Christian two and he drags Trish inside. Jericho makes the save and checks on her but Trish accidentally elbows him in the face. Christian’s rollup gives him the surprise pin.

Rating: B. This whole story has always been one of my favorites so it’s cool to see the match be a good one. It’s certainly no classic but Christian winning was the right call and the story can move forward from here. Both guys have gotten something out of this story and Trish is advancing as well. Good match, easily the best thing on the card so far.

Post match Trish apologizes to Jericho as Christian runs back in. Trish tries to hold Jericho back and then slaps him in the face over and over, morphing into Evil Trish (works for me), allowing Christian to hit the Unprettier. Christian and Trish leave but stop to kiss on the stage. This worked for everyone, especially Trish who works far better in this role.

A serious Mick Foley is getting ready in the back but Rock pops in to hijack the interview. Rock is very fired up to be in the Garden and it’s time to have the cameraman see who all is here. We have Hurricane and Rosey (another case that isn’t as random when you’ve seen the recent TV), Don Muraco and Jimmy Snuka and of course the people, with the camera going inside the arena for a shot of the crowd. They’re going to take care of Evolution tonight, if ya smell what the Rock (Foley: “And Sock!”) is cooking. You can tell Rock is extra fired up here.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

The energy is really high here. I always forget how young Foley looks here, mainly because he’s only 38. He retired at 34 so it’s not like he’s some guy who is fifteen years past his prime. Rock N Sock clears the ring to start, wisely making sure to double team Batista. Rock and Flair start things off with Rock offering his own strut. They head to the floor with Flair poking him in the eye (pop for that), only to get backdropped down.

Foley is right there with the elbow off the apron so it’s off to Foley vs. Orton (another pop from the hot crowd). That sends Orton bailing to the floor, because going outside against Mick Foley is a great idea. Back in and Orton get tied in the Tree of Woe for a rather low (Or is it high?) right hand. Batista low bridges Rock to the floor though and drops him face first onto the barricade to take over. Flair comes in (Flair: “All right!”) for some of the loudest chops I’ve ever heard him throw but one strut too many allows Rock to get in a clothesline.

Just because he has to, Flair goes up (Lawler: “Oh no.”) and get slammed down. Batista comes in but quickly allows the hot tag to Foley. Some right hands in the corner have Batista in trouble but he comes out with the big running clothesline to send Foley outside. Orton sends Foley hard (and loud) into the steps and it’s Flair coming in for more loud chops. These are even more impressive with Foley wearing a shirt so the sound is toned down a bit.

Orton rips at Foley’s face and hair as they’re doing a great job at building the energy up for the hot tag. Batista comes back in and walks into a swinging neckbreaker. A double clothesline to Batista and a forearm to Flair are enough for the tag to Rock and house is cleaned quickly. The numbers game cuts him off and Flair loads up his own People’s Elbow, with more strutting than should be legally allowed. It takes so long that Rock nips up and spinebusters Flair, setting up the real People’s Elbow, with a Rock strut because of course, for two.

Orton walks into the Rock Bottom for the same but Batista comes in for a Batista Bomb. That’s only good for a near fall in the same way Orton won at Survivor Series last year. The second hot tag brings in Foley to finally face off with Orton, meaning the double arm DDT connects in a hurry. It’s time for Mr. Socko but Orton grabs the RKO out of nowhere for the pin. Foley looks around to see what happened and Orton is shocked, both adding a great touch.

Rating: B+. This one has really grown on me over the years with all five guys playing their roles well. You knew Rock and Flair were going to ham it up out there and Batista is really starting to figure out the power monster role. Then you have Foley, who came off like the old serious version out there and looked like someone who could still beat anyone on the right night. Orton winning on a surprise RKO was the perfect ending with he and Foley reacting to it perfectly. Just a great performance from all five guys and an outstanding spectacle that paves the way for Orton vs. Foley.

Rock and Foley are upset by the loss but get the big ovation with Foley getting the bigger share.

Video on last night’s Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Heenan’s line of “I wish Monsoon was here” is one of the only things in wrestling that makes me tear up a bit.

Here’s Gene Okerlund to present the class:

Bobby Heenan (still playing to the crowd as he’s presented)

Tito Santana (one of my all time favorites)

Big John Studd (represented by his kids)

Harley Race (somehow looking younger than he did in WCW)

Pete Rose (booed heavily, though said to be incredibly gracious for the induction)

Don Muraco (in a Hawaiian shirt under his coat)

Greg Valentine (bigger reaction than you might think, and WHY DOES HE NEVER AGE???)

Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter)

Billy Graham (biggest reaction so far)

Sgt. Slaughter (gets a loud USA chant and plays to the crowd as well)

Jesse Ventura (It wouldn’t have been Wrestlemania without him)

This was much more a tribute to the earlier days of Wrestlemania but it didn’t have the big time headliner. Race is the biggest name, but he’s not known for his WWE stuff.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

They’re all in evening gowns to start, which is totally what I think of when I think of Playboy. Sable wants to just wrestle without anything on but she just strips down to her her lingerie. Torrie and Stacy follow suit as Cole and Tazz are way too excited over this. Jackie won’t strip though and stands on the apron in her gown. So she’s the Ivory of the match.

The gown is ripped off in about five seconds and Sable kicks her in the ribs. Torrie does a high crossbody for the sake of….I’m sure you get the idea. Stacy comes in for a cartwheel (Tazz: “I LOVE CARTWHEELS!”) and the leg choke in the corner. We get the sunset flip spot for an ovation, followed by Jackie and Torrie rolling over the referee. Torrie rolls Jackie up (showing off the tag hanging off the underwear) for the pin, plus a spank and a pull of the underwear. It was short and did what it was there to do.

Video on fans coming from all over the world for Wrestlemania.

Eddie Guerrero is in the locker room with Chris Benoit and says he’s proud of Benoit no matter what. Benoit doesn’t like the word lose but Eddie says it’s a possibility with the people he’s in there against. Nobody really believes in him but Benoit shouts that he does, demanding that Eddie looks at him. Benoit wants to know why Eddie is saying this on Benoit’s night. Last month Eddie won his WWE Title and tonight Benoit wins his. That’s the fire that Eddie was trying to draw out of him because that’s the Benoit he believes in. Benoit is winning the title tonight.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero is defending and we finally find out that it’s a gauntlet match with Chavo entering last. While they never specifically said so in the lead up, it was implied that this would be a ten way match with everyone in there at once. Everyone comes out and stands at ringside and thankfully both of Ultimo Dragon’s botches are edited on the Network (the one at the entrance is mostly covered by a wide shot but you can still make it out while him slipping on the middle rope is edited out completely). Rey Mysterio is the Flash this year to continue his great tradition.

Dragon and Shannon Moore start things off with Shannon shouldering him down for two. A belly to back suplex gets the same but Dragon avoids a flip dive. The Asai DDT (very similar to a Salida Del Sol) eliminates Moore and Jamie Noble is in third. Dragon kicks him down for a fast two but has to bail out of a moonsault. The Asai DDT is countered into a neckbreaker and Noble makes him tap with a guillotine choke.

There’s no bell like after the first fall but Funaki comes in with a high crossbody, which Noble rolls through for a pin in five seconds. Nunzio comes in and it’s never fun to see family fight. Some rollups give Nunzio two and a middle rope dropkick to the head gets the same. Nunzio is sent outside for a big flip dive from Noble and Nunzio gets counted out.

Billy Kidman is in next and hits a HUGE springboard shooting star to take out Noble and Nunzio, nearly killing himself in the process. Back in and Noble’s guillotine choke doesn’t work but he’s able to break up the shooting star. Noble loads up a superplex but gets revered into a super BK Bomb for the pin and the elimination. Rey Mysterio comes in next to pick up the pace, only to get caught up top. A super sunset bomb gets rid of Kidman and it’s Tajiri in next.

The Tarantula has Rey in fast trouble but he’s out in a hurry for the 619. Akio tries to grab Rey’s leg but takes Tajiri’s mist instead. Rey rolls Tajiri up for the pin and since Akio can’t go due to the mist, it’s Chavo vs. Mysterio for the title. Tajiri kicks Mysterio in the head before leaving and Chavo gets an easy two but Rey is right back up with a springboard hurricanrana. Rey dropkicks Chavo Sr. down and hits him with a big flip dive. A sunset flip has Chavo in trouble but Sr. grabs his son’s hands to give him the retaining pin.

Rating: D. I’ve never liked these things and it was the same case here: if these people can pin each other in a minute or so, why do regular matches take seven minutes? This was another way to get a bunch of people on the show, which is rarely a good sign for a lot of them. Chavo vs. Mysterio would have been fine and I’m not sure how many people care that Kidman and Funaki made the show.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. Goldberg was dominating the Royal Rumble but Lesnar ran in and caused him to be eliminated. The next month at No Way Out, Goldberg interfered in Lesnar’s Smackdown World Title defense against Eddie Guerrero, costing him the title. Lesnar begged for a match with Goldberg, which Vince McMahon granted, albeit with Steve Austin as referee. With Goldberg off TV, Lesnar and Austin have had a mini feud over Austin’s ATV. It doesn’t help that both Goldberg and Lesnar are gone after this show, which could make this, ahem, interesting.

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

Steve Austin is guest referee. We start with a loud YOU SOLD OUT chant, presumably at Lesnar (who is sporting a very weak goatee). There’s no contact in the first minute so the fans start singing the Goodbye Song. JR has to acknowledge the crowd and mentions Lesnar wanting to go to the NFL as we’re two minutes in with no contact. The fans start chanting for Austin so Goldberg looks at him instead.

They lock up at 2:46 as we hear about Goldberg being an MMA aficionado. The lockup lasts about forty seconds and goes nowhere so Lesnar laughs at him a bit. A second lockup lasts about as long as JR tries to pass this off as a great struggle. They break up again as the fans are now openly booing, saying THIS MATCH SUCKS. Lesnar puts in a headlock five minutes in and the exchange of shoulders goes nowhere.

A double shoulder means a double knockdown, because that’s what this match needed. Lesnar starts kicking away but gets gorilla pressed into a spinebuster for the first big move of the match. The spear hits buckle though and they fight to the floor as the fans think Goldberg sucks. Back in and Lesnar gets two off a suplex, followed by a standing choke after that strenuous….oh I’d say minute and a half.

The fans chant for Hogan and it’s ANOTHER double knockdown until Lesnar covers for two. Goldberg fights up with some clotheslines and the spear for two, despite pulling Lesnar’s shoulder off the mat. An argument with Austin lets Lesnar grab an F5 for a near fall of his own. Lesnar goes shoulder first into the post and it’s the spear and Jackhammer to give Goldberg the pin.

Rating: F. Does this need an explanation? There’s a reason this is considered one of the worst Wrestlemania matches of all time and it’s embarrassing all around. These guys are capable of having a good match and they went out there and put in no effort, instead being satisfied with screwing over the fans who wanted to and perhaps paid to see this match. I can understand two people just not clicking, but I have little patience for them not trying. It didn’t even have the entertainment value of being that bad.

Post match Austin Stuns them both out of the company and neither Goldberg nor Lesnar was ever seen in WWE again.

Pyro goes off from the roof of the building. I’ve been outside for that after Wrestlemania in New Orleans and it will make you jump out of your skin.

Here’s Vince McMahon to talk about the theme of It All Begins Again. There wouldn’t be a Wrestlemania without the fans though and he’s here to thank all of us. The locker room, the WWE and the McMahon Family thanks the fans for making Wrestlemania and the WWE what it is today. This was a very nice little moment.

Next year: Wrestlemania Goes Hollywood.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Basham Brothers vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. APA

Rikishi and Scotty are defending and again it’s one fall to a finish. Shelton punches Bradshaw to start but gets taken down by a running shoulder for one. Doug comes in to take over on Shelton with Charlie making a save. It’s off to Scotty vs. Charlie as the fans are just gone after that match (granted this match isn’t helping things). Scotty tries to skin the cat but Charlie catches him, allowing Shelton to jump onto his back.

A bearhug slows things down even more until Doug tags himself in and kicks Scotty in the head. Danny pulls him away from the hot tag to Rikishi but, of course, the tag goes through a few seconds later. Rikishi DDTs Danny to no reaction and gives Charlie a Stink Face. Everything breaks down and Bradshaw Clotheslines Doug. That earns him a Samoan drop from Rikishi, who sits on Danny’s chest to retain.

Rating: D-. Nothing match again but at least this served the purpose of giving the fans a chance to get Goldberg vs. Lesnar out of their system. As was the case earlier though, there wasn’t much of a need for this match to be on the card. It would have been fine as a Kickoff Show match, but even at six minutes it felt long.

Post match, dancing ensues.

Edge is coming back after over a year away.

Here’s Jesse Ventura…..to interview Donald Trump in the front row. Trump praises the show and Vince and Jesse asks him about a donation to a Presidential run. And now we move on to ANYTHING else before this turns into….whatever it’s going to turn into.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Victoria’s title vs. Molly’s hair so a fan has a creative sign featuring Molly with hair that goes up and down. Molly powers her into the corner to start but Victoria chases her to the floor. Back in and Molly gets two off a suplex before grabbing a reverse cravate. The fans are getting a bit more into this and at least have some interest compared to the previous one.

With nothing else to talk about, Lawler gets into a discussion of Molly’s underwear. JR: “What does that have to do with this wrestling match?” Victoria comes back with a powerslam as the discussion moves on to underwear color. Molly catches Victoria on top and gets two off a sunset bomb, albeit landing on her knees first. As frustration sets in, Molly tries the Widow’s Peak, which is reversed into a backslide to retain Victoria’s title.

Rating: D+. They tried here and that’s about all you can ask for. They didn’t even have five minutes and it’s not like the feud had much of a build in the first place. I’ll give them points for being willing to go with a bigger stipulation for the sake of getting on Wrestlemania, which shows quite the level of dedication. Not terrible, but they were hamstrung by the time.

Post match Molly snaps and tries to cut Victoria’s hair but Victoria knocks her out and straps her into the chair. The unconscious Molly gets her hair cut but wakes up in the middle, freaking out as you might expect.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle. Eddie won the Smackdown World Title in February and Angle wasn’t happy that a former drug addict was champion. He attacked Eddie FOR THE FUTURE OF AMERICA because the country needed someone who could be a role model as champion. Eddie has been attacked when he wasn’t able to fight back but tonight it’s a fair playing field. I’ve been digging the heck out of this feud watching it back and this is the match I’ve been wanting to see again more than anything else.

After the video, Molly is still getting her head shaved. She’s actually bald too, rather than just having it trimmed. Like I said earlier: that’s some dedication.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Eddie is defending. A lockup has Eddie driven into the corner to start as Tazz thinks Angle should take it to the mat. Angle headlocks him down but Eddie is out in a hurry with a headscissors. A longer headlock is broken the same way as the fans are in a dueling LET’S GO ANGLE/ANGLE SUCKS chant. Eddie’s headlock is broken up as well and it’s a standoff as they’re still in the feeling out period here.

Some shoulder blocks work better for Eddie as Angle bails out to the floor. Back in and Angle takes him down into a front facelock and this time Eddie can’t get out as quickly. After staying down for a bit, Eddie fights up and armdrags him into an armbar. Angle knees the ribs to break it up and puts on an abdominal stretch. The ribs are fine enough for some rolling verticals, but the third is reversed into Angle’s rolling German suplexes.

They go to the apron and Angle can’t hit the German suplex off the apron. Eddie kicks him to the floor and dive out after Angle but the ribs go straight into the barricade. Back in again and Eddie gets caught in a chinlock with a grapevine to stay on the ribs. A hot shot sends Eddie ribs first onto the ropes and it’s time for the belly to belly suplexes. Angle puts on a waistlock before another belly to belly gets two.

Since the regular ones not being enough, Angle puts him on top for a belly to belly superplex. Eddie breaks that up but misses the frog splash, making the ribs even worse. Angle is getting cocky so Eddie tells him to bring it on. Some right hands just make Eddie madder and he clotheslines Angle down. A belly to back suplex rocks Angle and Eddie reverses a German suplex attempt into a cradle for two.

That earns Eddie a hard clothesline but he reverses the Angle Slam into an armdrag. The third rolling suplex is reversed into the ankle lock this time so Eddie kicks him away. It’s still too early for the frog splash though as Angle runs the corner for a super belly to belly. The ankle lock goes on again but Eddie counters into a rollup. Another German suplex rocks Eddie again but the Angle Slam is countered into a DDT.

The frog splash gets two and you can hear the fans being surprised. Angle gets the ankle lock for the third time so Eddie rolls him outside for another break. With Angle down, Eddie unlaces his boot and backs away as Angle gets back in. That means an ankle lock but Eddie’s boot comes off. Angle is confused and Eddie small packages him (with his feet in the ropes of course) to retain.

Rating: A. That’s a brilliant finish with Eddie keeping his cool long enough to catch Angle being too aggressive in going after the ankle. Angle thinks that he’s better than Eddie and is going to smell blood as soon as he thinks Eddie is in trouble. Eddie was ready for it and suckered the livid Angle in to retain. The rest of the match with a great back and forth chess match with Eddie staying in there until he could get around Angle’s physical advantages. There was some incredible storytelling here and it was one of the best matches either of them has ever had.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kane. Back at Survivor Series, Kane literally buried Undertaker and then gave him a eulogy. Kane proclaimed Undertaker dead and gone, but you know that’s not going to be the case. The Undertaker’s gong went off at the Royal Rumble and Kane freaked out, setting us on a path to this match. We’ve been seeing signs of Undertaker’s powers, which range from creepy to stupid, but that’s standard Undertaker procedure.

Undertaker vs. Kane

Kane’s intro is cool as the New York City set is covered in flames as well. Then Paul Bearer returns with an OOOOOOOHHHHHHH YEEEEEESSSSSS and no one cares about Kane anymore. We’ve got the druids with the burning torches and the fog throughout the aisle. Undertaker’s new look: slightly longer hair, a new hat and a singlet top. Kane looks terrified and….well yeah the Undertaker’s entrance at Wrestlemania can be chilling.

They stare at each other for a bit with Kane trying to make himself believe that Undertaker is real. He reaches out to touch Undertaker and gets punched up against the ropes. The threat of a chokeslam sends Kane bailing to the floor but Undertaker is right back with an elbow to the throat. There’s the apron legdrop as I would expect a lot of signature stuff here. Back in and Undertaker loads up the Last Ride but Kane backdrops him….hands first into the ropes. They misjudged the heck out of that one if that was supposed to be a backdrop to the floor.

It turns into a slugout on the mat until Kane gets in a side slam. The top rope clothesline gets two but Undertaker is right back with a big boot and legdrop. Old School (still not yet named as such) is countered into a chokeslam. Kane walks around though and there’s the sit up. Undertaker hits his own chokeslam (losing the grip on the way down) and the Tombstone makes Undertaker 12-0.

Rating: D. That’s all you could have expected here, save for maybe a shorter and more dominant win. No one was expecting this Kane to beat the returning Undertaker so this was all about a big return. Undertaker was back to his slow pace here, though it was still better than the last few months (if not years) of Biker Taker. It’s not a good match, but Undertaker at Wrestlemania is always worth at least a glance.

We recap HHH vs. Chris Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels. HHH and Michaels went to a draw both at the last Raw of 2003 and in a Last Man Standing match at the Royal Rumble. Shawn, never being able to let something go, said he needed to face HHH again, even though Benoit won the Royal Rumble. Michaels signed the Wrestlemania contract instead of Benoit (contracts still don’t work that way and Shawn vs. HHH is barely six years in the making, let alone the nearly ten Michaels said that it was) so Austin made it a triple threat match. This gets the music video treatment.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Chris Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels

HHH is defending and wearing white boots for a really weird look. We don’t get Big Match Intros but we do have a weapons check. The fans are behind Benoit here, to the surprise of no one paying attention. Benoit goes after both of them to start but Shawn wants to beat on HHH. A way too early Crossface attempt doesn’t work on Shawn, who is sent into HHH to knock the champ outside. The second Crossface attempt is countered into a rollup for two but HHH is back in to clothesline Michaels.

Now it’s Benoit being sent outside so Shawn and HHH can have their big showdown. That doesn’t last long (you save the big stuff for later) as HHH goes outside to drive Benoit into the barricade. Shawn is right up with a moonsault onto the two of them for a big crash. Back in and HHH hits the facebuster on Shawn but Benoit breaks up the Pedigree. Shawn goes shoulder first into the post, again leaving us with two instead of the three.

Benoit can’t get a belly to back superplex as HHH pulls him down into the Tree of Woe and whips Shawn into him for a near fall of his own. HHH gets sent into him as well for the same two but Benoit gets free for the rolling German suplexes. Michaels is right there to break up the Swan dive though, only to eat a DDT from HHH. With Shawn on the floor, HHH pulls Benoit off the top and hammers away.

That’s reversed into a Crossface with Shawn diving in for a save. Shawn tries his own rolling German suplexes on Benoit and I’ll let you guess how that goes. After Shawn bounces off the mat from Benoit’s third straight German suplex, the Swan Dive connects for two. Shawn forearms Benoit to the floor and nips up for the fight against HHH. The champ gets knocked down for the top rope elbow and Sweet Chin Music connects.

Benoit is right there to pull HHH to the floor of course and he sends Shawn into the post. The busted open Shawn (it wouldn’t feel right otherwise) gets caught in the Crossface so HHH grabs his hand to prevent the tap out. Benoit beats up HHH on the floor but gets sent into the steps. HHH loads up the announcers’ table and Shawn joins him to double suplex Benoit through the table. NOW we get the big Shawn vs. HHH showdown and it lasts all of fifteen seconds with Shawn whipping HHH over the corner and back outside.

Back in and HHH (also bleeding) hits a quick Pedigree but can’t cover. Benoit dives in for a last second save and all three are down. A Pedigree to Benoit is reversed into a Sharpshooter in the middle of the ring so it’s Shawn coming back in with more Sweet Chin Music. That’s only good for two so Shawn tries it again, only to be sent to the floor. The Pedigree is countered into the Crossface and Benoit rolls him into the middle for the tap and the title.

Rating: A+. I never realized how much the Wrestlemania XXX match copied this one, down to the big double team through the table, the technical star who had worked forever to get here and winning with a very similar hold, plus other things I’m probably overlooking. Anyway, there isn’t much to say here as the match speaks for itself. It’s long in the right way, the near falls were great, the work and visuals were incredible and the right guy won. I’m sure you’ve seen this one at least once and if you haven’t, find the time to sit down and watch Benoit’s crowning achievement.

Benoit is in tears as Eddie comes out for the big celebration. Confetti falls (another Wrestlemania XXX scene) and JR has almost lost his voice shouting about how amazing this was. The ending is a spectacular visual and what should have been one of the most memorable moments ever.

A five minute highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: B+. They were this close to being one of the all time great shows but as it is, they’re only a few steps behind. The positives here ranges from outstanding to very good but the bad is in either absolutely horrid to unnecessary stuff, which is where the biggest problem comes from: they stretched a three hour and forty five minute show to over four and a half hour one and that doesn’t work. If you trim things down a bit here and there, (a Kickoff Show would have been better, or just not putting everything on the card in the first place) this is one of the best shows ever.

The other thing that worked so well here was the feeling. Wrestlemania is a major show every year but this was a milestone edition and it felt like one. They had a great balance of the history, present and future in one night and the whole event came off as a spectacle. That’s the right kind of feeling and the great action all night helped too. This show feels special and it’s worth seeing at least once (if you somehow hadn’t) or again if you haven’t in a long time, though fast forward some of the lower card stuff to make things easier.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: March 11, 2004
Location: Boardwalk Hall, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show before Wrestlemania and we’ve got a guest star with Steve Austin in the house. Tonight should focus heavily on the Smackdown side of things but there’s a good chance that we’ll be seeing more of the interpromotional matches. That’s not the worst idea in the world as it’s not like the blue only matches are the hottest things in the world. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Austin vs. Brock Lesnar, which has turned into the real feud since Goldberg isn’t around at the moment.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena for the opening match but first he has to rap about chasing the US Title like Big Show chases the ice cream truck. Show is a mark for himself and plays Blackjack alone to beat his own hand. Oh and Cena is large in a rather specific area.

John Cena vs. Rhyno

Cena drives him into the corner to start and gets two off the Throwback. Rhyno’s spinebuster slows Cena down but he shrugs off a knee to the ribs. The ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle and FU to send Cena into Wrestlemania strong.

The locker room (save for the top stars of course) has a meeting in the locker room with Paul Heyman giving a speech. Just like last week, he’s willing to fight for Smackdown because he’s really good for this place. What’s good for Smackdown is good for the wrestlers because it puts food on the table and sends their kids to college. Steve Austin is coming tonight and doesn’t want their kids to go to college.

Austin is here to deal with Brock Lesnar (nowhere to be seen at the moment) and Smackdown can’t let that happen. Everyone better volunteer to help with this because at some point tonight, Lesnar is going to lead them in a battle to defend their turf. No one messes with their Smackdown but no one actually agrees to help. How many times do you think Heyman gave a nearly identical speech to ECW? No one can sell it like Heyman and this was really entertaining. Rather illogical and over the top, but entertaining.

Hall of Fame video.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

The Chavos are on commentary with Jr. trying to figure out why he’s defending against nine guys. Tazz: “Why does the #8 contender get a shot?” That’s a completely fair question and I’d love an answer. Rey grabs him by the hand and walks the ropes for a springboard headscissors but gets caught on top. The sitout bulldog gets Rey out of trouble in a hurry and the moonsault press gets two. The 619 is loaded up but here are Akio/Sakoda/Tajiri for what should be a DQ, but let’s wait for the other cruiserweights to come in to make it a no contest.

Rating: D+. They needed some more time of course but at least we’re going to be seeing something else besides just this match. Noble was just starting to heat up as a face when they turned him heel all over again so there’s not much hope for him at the moment. Mysterio is the real challenger for the title though and really, it should have just been him vs. Chavo on Sunday.

Billy Kidman/Funaki/Ultimo Dragon/Rey Mysterio vs. Tajiri/Akio/Sakoda/Jamie Noble

Joined in progress with Dragon hitting a Japanese armdrag on Tajiri and bringing in Kidman for a good looking dropkick. Chavo Sr. doesn’t want to hear about anything other than his son, which includes Funaki working on Tajiri’s arm. Akio comes in for some more luck with a cross arm choke and a spinwheel kick to take over on Funaki. Some baseball slide dropkicks to Funaki in the Tree of Woe get two as everyone is getting a chance here.

Cole rips on the Chavos so Tazz tells him to go frost his hair in a line that was funnier than it should have been. It’s off to Noble for a hard legdrop as Cole gets on Tazz for not calling the match. Cole: “Nonetheless Sunday, the title on the line with ten men!” Noble’s chinlock doesn’t quite work but Chavo Sr.’s Spanish ramblings make it a little better.

Funaki kicks Jamie away and brings in Rey, sending commentary even further into insanity. A Code Red gives Mysterio two and everything breaks down. There’s the 619 to Noble but Sr. gets on the apron. Jr. holds Mysterio for Noble, who hits Jr. by mistake and a hurricanrana gives Mysterio the fast pin.

Rating: C. That was a lot more like it, especially with the hilarious commentary. Sr. ranting and raving about how great Jr. was and how unfair everything was to his son was tremendous and made the match a lot better. It’s also a good idea to let the cruiserweights shine before Sunday in a match whose rules haven’t actually been announced yet.

Post match, Shannon Moore and Nunzio come in to keep up with the brawling.

Heyman gives the FBI a pep talk about getting rid of Austin but he gets a message saying that Austin is in the arena. Actually he’s at the beer stand. Heyman runs off shouting for Brock.

Long recap of Heyman’s issues with Eddie Guerrero, including last week’s great closing angle with Kurt Angle destroying the helpless Eddie.

Here’s Eddie for a match but first he wants to call out Angle for what happened last week. This is Angle’s chance to get rid of him once and for all. Eddie is the only WWE Champion who tells kids to lie, cheat and steal but since there’s no Angle, he must have no testicular fortitude. Angle isn’t fooling anyone because he’s not coming out here. Eddie talks about being an addict, which is the kind of person Angle would want to take out. Once Eddie wins at Wrestlemania, he’s going to lie, cheat and steal more than ever before. What a weird face, but that smile is more than enough to make it work.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. Shelton hits an early suplex and sticks the landing off a monkey flip to avoid a crash. Eddie sends him outside though and takes care of Charlie Haas too, earning Haas an ejection for his efforts. Back from a break with Eddie grabbing an abdominal stretch until Shelton hiptosses his way to freedom. Shelton’s arm is banged up so he has to settle for a belly to back suplex instead of a German suplex.

Shelton whips him into the ropes….and we’re edited to Eddie coming off another rope (he was sent into the ropes on the hard camera side and was then coming off the ropes facing the set) for a faceplant. I’m assuming there was a heck of a botch in there and that wasn’t the smoothest edit in the world. Eddie gets all fired up and Shelton doesn’t know what to do as the comeback is on.

A backdrop sets up the rolling vertical suplexes but the ref gets bumped. Cue Haas to throw Shelton the title but Eddie dropkicks it back into Shelton’s face. Haas and Benjamin get a belt shot each and Eddie drops down so the referee won’t know what happened. As usual, cheating can be smart. Eddie staggers to his feet, smiles at the audience, and hits the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. I remember watching Eddie’s rise to the top of the show when I was a teenager and I didn’t give it nearly the credit that it deserved. Eddie is just so, so good out there with the wrestling being perfectly smooth and the mannerisms being even better. He’s just such a treat to watch and somehow seems to be getting better every single time, if that’s possible.

Post match Angle comes out and motions that the belt is his.

Sable and Torrie Wilson were at the Playboy 50^th Anniversary party. They giggle about their match at Wrestlemania.

Heyman’s correspondents have lost Austin. Orlando Jordan walks through a door and Heyman makes sure he’s going to do what’s right for Smackdown. Jordan says he will, but he respects Austin. Heyman threatens to fire him.

Big Show vs. John Walters/Arch Kincaid

Walters is a minor indy name who has worked for ROH before and was a semi-regular WWE jobber around this time. Both guys get thrown around a lot and the chokeslam Walters in about a minute.

Post match Cena comes in and takes out Show’s knee.

We look back at last week’s setup for the four way Tag Team Title match.

Heyman is very glad to run into the APA as they can do what’s right for Smackdown. They agree, without saying anything specific about what they’ll do.

Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Basham Brothers

Non-title. Doug sends Scotty into the corner to start so it’s a headlock to slow Doug down. A blind tag brings in Danny to kick him in the head though and the Bashams take over without much effort. We’re already in the chinlock, followed by a legdrop for two. Danny misses a charge in the corner and a slide between his legs is enough for the hot tag to Rikishi. Doug gets kicked to the floor but he switches place to save Danny from the Stinkface. He charges at Rikishi….and gets superkicked for the pin. Well that was sudden.

Rating: D. The ending was pretty odd and I’m not sure what the point is in having the champs get a clean pin over some of their challengers three days before the pay per view title match. At least they didn’t have it go on too long though as it’s not like there is anything beneath this on the Wrestlemania card.

Video on Lesnar vs. Goldberg, which has turned into a mess after what should have been a layup. Austin as guest referee really does feel like a last ditch effort to save the thing.

Austin’s truck has been moved.

Clip of Kane ranting about Undertaker on Raw and being told it all begins again Sunday.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Here’s Paul Heyman, flanked by a big chunk of the Smackdown roster. Post break Heyman brings out Brock Lesnar, who calls out Austin for a fight. This is his ring and if Austin is here for some knuckle sandwiches, he better bring a bunch. Cue Austin who backs his truck into the arena and stares down the mob. They step aside and let him pass, even as Heyman shouts GET HIM over and over. Big Show is the only one to stand in front of Austin but, after a staredown, even he lets Austin go.

The locker room leaves and Austin teases getting in but takes the ATV instead. He stops it in the aisle though and turns around, holding up the key. Cole: “That’s the key.” Tazz: “Yeah I know.” Austin wins a slugout and posts Lesnar before throwing him inside. A Stunner takes Heyman down but Lesnar is back up. The F5 and Stunner are countered and the bleeding Lesnar leaves, I believe in his final ever appearance on Smackdown. The ATV is ridden and loaded into the truck so Austin can drink beer to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was exactly what you would expect from the go home show, save for the ending which was pretty off, considering it was a referee beating up a wrestler. It was good to let Eddie get something back before the pay per view and the wrestling was mostly watchable. I actually thought Raw did a better job of making me want to see Wrestlemania as this show was fine with a big angle that involved what’s available from one of the biggest matches. Not bad, but it’s time for Wrestlemania.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 8, 2004
Location: Arena At Harbor Yard, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania and that likely means a slower than average night. In this case we do have the return of the Rock, which almost guarantees at least some energy. There’s a good chance that there won’t be much wrestling as WWE isn’t going to want to risk an injury six days before the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The arena is full of smoke and Gregorian chanting while a dirty casket is in the ring. I’m thinking the return of Mantaur too.

Opening sequence.

Back in the arena, Lawler thinks Kane might have something to do with this and here’s Kane to prove Lawler right. How nice of them to not keep us waiting. His music is replaced by the chanting as he gets in the ring and turns the casket over, revealing the Urn inside. Kane throws the casket out (breaking the lid off in the process), leaving the mat covered in dirt and mud. He wants to know if this is the best Undertaker can do after weeks of teasing his return. An empty casket and an urn full of ashes?

The Urn is thrown out as well because it’s going to take more than empty promises to defeat him. At Wrestlemania, Undertaker’s Streak and his legacy are done, for good this time. Kane is NOT afraid of him….and there’s the gong. Lightning goes off and the ring starts rising off the ground (you don’t see that every day) and panic ensues. The screen says “This Sunday, it all begins again.” The impressive part: even though it hasn’t been full time in a good many years, the run that would begin on Sunday has gone on longer Undertaker’s entire WWE run up to that point.

Rob Van Dam/Booker T./Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak/La Resistance

The Dudleys qualified for Sunday’s title match after beating Lance Storm and Val Venis last night on Heat. Conway hits Bubba in the back to start as the fans already want tables. It’s off to Dupree, who gets taken down by a neckbreaker because Bubba doesn’t like French guys. Rolling Thunder gets two as JR and King list off other big shows to describe Wrestlemania.

Van Dam goes shoulder first into the post and Jindrak comes in for the armbar. A pair of kicks to the head eventually get Rob out of trouble and over to the corner for the hot tag to Booker. That means even more kicks and a Book End to Jindrak with everyone coming in for the save. Dupree gets in a shot to the back of Booker’s head and Jindrak gets the pin with a clothesline. We’re coming up on Wrestlemania, not Survivor Series.

Rating: D. I get what they were going for here but I’m not going to buy Jindrak and Cade as threats to anything, let alone the Tag Team Titles. I know Evolution wasn’t exactly great with the titles but they were better than most of these goofs. This whole match shows how weak the division is as while the teams are at least different, I have no reason to care about most of them. This whole thing could be left off of Wrestlemania and the only people who would care are these eight guys.

The winners argue over who should get credit for the win.

Chris Jericho is on the phone with Trish Stratus and does that weird kind of talking where he repeats everything the other person is saying that you would never do. He’s going to take out some aggression on Christian this Sunday but Christian jumps him from behind. Christian says he left her boyfriend in Trish’s favorite position: flat on his back.

During the break, Christian bailed in a waiting car.

King has a Wrestlemania pizza delivered as part of a sponsorship deal. Unfortunately they never actually say the name of the company that delivered the pizza so it’s kind of missing the point.

Booker and Van Dam are upset about losing, but Van Dam manages to get in his pose.

Tonight: This Is Your Life Mick Foley. Therefore, we get a clip of This Is Your Life Rock. That still holds up, just from the chemistry between these two.

Rock arrives and runs into his biggest nemesis: Hurricane and Rosey. Hurricane brags about beating Rock, but that was just the Scorpion King. Tonight live though, it’s the Rock. It’s all cool though because he Hurricane liked Walking Tall. Rosey on the other hand got lost and wound up seeing Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen.

Hurricane isn’t wild on Rock’s goatee because it reminds him of Coach, who is right behind Rock. Coach, whose height always surprises me, thinks Rock is stealing his look but Rock goes into a rant about Coach kissing up to Bischoff. Eventually Coach gets shoved away and Rock gives Hurricane and Rosey a pep talk.

Evolution vs. Hurricane/Rosey

That better be a heck of a pep talk. Flair punches away at Hurricane in the corner and hits a quick belly to back suplex. Orton comes in to kick at the knee and it’s off to Batista for a spinebuster. The Batista Bomb finishes Hurricane before Rosey is ever tagged in.

Evolution beats up Rosey post match. Orton says this is Rock and Foley’s life: two pathetic comebacks that end in embarrassment on Sunday. There is no stopping Evolution.

Video on the issues between Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit, which resulted in HHH standing tall again.

Chris Benoit vs. Matt Hardy

I wonder if Matt, who never irons his clothes and occasionally cheats on his diet, can last as long as Rosey and Hurricane. Matt talks trash and says Benoit winning the title doesn’t matter because he’s V1. That earns him a backbreaker and a snap suplex so Matt tries bailing to the floor. Back in and Matt grabs a Side Effect for two but gets caught in the rolling German suplexes. The Crossface makes Matt tap in a hurry. To recap: Jindrak and Cade are on Wrestlemania but Matt is stuck in this role?

Post match JR gets in the ring to talk to Benoit about how long he’s worked to get here. Benoit is getting in the ring with two of the best ever and he’s coming out on top. Cue Shawn to say he appreciates what Benoit has accomplished more than anyone, but for Shawn, it’s about end a “nearly ten year grudge with HHH”.

Oh come on. HHH debuted in WCW in February 1994, didn’t start hanging out with Shawn until the summer of 1997, and if you REALLY stretch and say their issues started the day HHH took over DX, it’s less than six years. It’s more like a year and a half, which is still way shorter than Benoit’s 18 year path to the title.

Benoit doesn’t want to hear it (good man) because Wrestlemania is about walking out as World Heavyweight Champion. Violence is teased but Shawn eventually wishes him good luck. They shake hands but here’s HHH to interrupt. HHH thinks this whole thing is ridiculous because he shouldn’t have to defend the title against two men in one night. The two of them made a pact to take the title from HHH so they need to get used to disappointment.

HHH always overcomes the odds and manipulates the situation to always be in his advantage. He’s always found a way to have an edge and this Sunday that’s their egos. Shawn’s ego isn’t going to let him leave with the title because he’ll have to be the best, which is all the edge that HHH needs. I know it’s the main event of Wrestlemania but HHH almost didn’t need to be here. The Shawn/Benoit section alone was quite good.

Foley runs into Spike Dudley for a preview of tonight’s This Is Your Life. I have no idea why this needed to be included.

Lita vs. Molly Holly

Molly is extra aggressive to start and chokes on the rope and gets two off a backbreaker. We’re already in the chinlock as JR hypes up Wrestlemania as being over four hours long. I pine for those days. Lita fights up with a sloppy headscissors and the reverse Twist of Fate for a pair of twos. Back up and Molly gets a rollup, grabbing the rope for the fast pin.

Post match Molly goes for Lita’s hair but Victoria runs in for the save as the rapid fire last second pushing continues.

We look back at Austin running over Vince’s limo last week.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg. It started at the Royal Rumble when they stared and sneered a lot, followed by Brock causing Goldberg to be eliminated. Goldberg cost Lesnar the Smackdown World Title next month and the Wrestlemania match was made. Steve Austin was added as guest referee to try and keep things interesting, at least partially because Goldberg is only showing up for the big match and not TV. Lesnar must have been taking notes. With Goldberg gone until Wrestlemania, Lesnar F5’d Austin last week and stole his ATV.

Here’s Austin for a chat and a beer. Austin has been speared and taken an F5 so he really doesn’t care what happens. He’ll be playing by the rules on Sunday but if someone wants to get physical, Austin is read to hand out knuckle sandwiches. Before we get there though, he needs to go to Atlantic City for some drinking and gambling but he’s also heading to Smackdown to get his ATV back. A quick recap wraps things up as Austin really didn’t have anything to say here.

We look back at Christian attacking Trish two weeks ago to put her on the shelf.

Chris Jericho vs. Steven Richards

Before the match, we see Christian’s attack earlier tonight, including him leaving after. Jericho has a cut on his head as a nice souvenir. Richards gets knocked down as he gets in with Jericho needing to blow off some steam. He’s a little too hotheaded to start and gets sent into the post twice in a row, followed by a quite logical armbar from Richards. The comeback doesn’t take long and Jericho tries the Walls but here’s Christian to Trish’s music. The distraction lets Richards grab the cheap rollup pin.

Post match Jericho sends Richards into the steps.

Hall of Fame video. It’s still an interesting class but lacking a top name.

Wrestlemania rundown with Michael Cole and Tazz joining us for the Smackdown matches.

Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda are in the back to talk about their Playboy match (when you can’t get in the arena on the go home show, it shows where you are on the card). After singing about bringing milkshakes to the yard (hence why this is off the Network), Johnny Blaze comes in but calls himself Johnny Spade (The multiple last names begin. Also of note: Johnny Spade was the name of a longtime Ohio Valley Wrestling mainstay so it’s not exactly an original name.). He’s willing to be their manager and even gives them a card. Johnny leaves and Eric Bischoff comes in, saying Johnny is made for this. And moving on.

Here’s Rock for This Is Your Life. Rock promises to win on Sunday so let’s get Foley out here right now. After a quick introduction, confetti falls and we get the famous video of Foley diving off of a house. The first guest: the woman who owned the house, Mrs. Doris Snyder! Foley: “I remember her!”

It’s a little old lady and Foley remembers eating milk, cookies and pie from her porch. A misunderstanding ensues with Foley saying all the kids, including the girls came up for pie. Foley: “Stray dogs too.” Rock: “STRAY DOGS???” Snyder is no longer opening her porch for pie but she is leaving her back door open for strudel. Rock panics again and tells her to stand in the corner so she’ll stop checking him out. I remember this one live and Rock’s reactions are incredible.

Next up: the Snuka vs. Muraco cage match, with Foley hanging out with the other 184 future wrestlers who were all in the building that night. Therefore, our second guest is Jimmy Snuka himself. Foley is thrilled to see his idol and offers Snuka to come to Wrestlemania. Rock talks about Snuka’s crazed 80s promos (the word he uses) where no one knew what Snuka was saying.

Snuka doesn’t like that, but Snyder grabs Rock’s arm. Rock: “Tell the Rock you are not looking at the Superfly’s a**!” Snuka: “Brother Rock, the Superfly loves pie!” Foley: “This is excellent!” Rock tells them to go get a room at Holiday Inn on her with Foley saying she was quite a gymnast in her day.

With the two of them gone, Rock talks about Foley’s writing career. The third guest: Bob Thompson, the first person to ever review Have A Nice Day. Foley says cut the music because Thompson found the book boring because wrestling, and wrestling fans, were idiots. The fans are all over the guy (as they should be) but Rock says Thompson represents everyone who has ever told Foley no.

The critics have been wrong, just like the people who say they can’t beat Evolution at Wrestlemania. Thompson criticizes Walking Tall and yeah there’s the sock in his mouth. Dude had it coming. Cue Evolution for the brawl (without talking first, as it should be) but Rock breaks up the triple powerbomb. That’s it for the comeback though as the Batista Bomb lays Rock out to end the show. This was long but Rock more than carried it, with his facial expressions over Snyder and Snuka being hysterical. Check this out if you have the time.

Overall Rating: C+. The Raw before Wrestlemania is always a different kind of show and that has to be taken into account. This is a night where the wrestling isn’t the point because it’s all about hyping you up for the big show. They actually did that too, as I came into this not really looking forward to Sunday and came out wanting to watch it again, at least a little bit more than I did earlier.

The big stuff with Rock and Foley was great, the first half of the Shawn/HHH/Benoit segment was good and everything got a little time (save for Goldberg of course, but that match and story has been such a mess that it’s not even a surprise anymore). As a stand alone show it doesn’t work, but for a go home show it did what it was supposed to do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2004
Date: August 15, 2004
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,640
Announcers: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz

A year has passed but not a lot has really changed. Evolution still runs Raw but Benoit has jumped shows and is the World Champion. Over on Smackdown we have Angle in another rematch from Wrestlemania against Eddie Guerrero, although not for the title this time. John Bradshaw Layfield, now a businessman instead of a bar fighter, beat Guerrero for the title over the summer and gets to defend against Undertaker tonight. HHH on the other hand is fighting a slow guy named Eugene at the second biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

The theme this year is the WWE Olympic Games. It’s definitely more on the cute side than serious, but that could be said about a lot of Summerslams.

The theme song is Summertime Blues by Rush so we get some good music. The video focuses on almost all of the big matches but doesn’t give a ton of backstory.

Dudleys vs. Paul London/Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman

This was when the Dudley Boyz were under Spike’s (Cruiserweight Champion) leadership and going to war with the Cruiserweight division for lack of regular sized tag teams to feud against. Spike recently beat Rey for the title so this is technically two feuds combined into one since London and Kidman are Smackdown tag champions. Kidman fires off forearms to D-Von to start before taking him down via an armdrag. Off to London with some more forearms and a nice dropkick for two.

Bubba cheats like a true Bully was and the bad guys take over. Spike comes in off the top with a double stomp to the ribs as the fans want tables. Bubba comes in and suplexes London down while calling him a piece of crap and threatening to beat his face in. You can’t go wrong with a loudmouthed New Yorker who can fight. Off to D-Von for a chinlock as Cole is already at two vintages less than four minutes into the match. London ducks a Bubba clothesline to knock D-Von to the floor.

An enziguri puts Bubba down and there’s the hot tag to Mysterio. Rey gets two beat on Spike in an attempt to get revenge for being put through a table. Dropping the Dime gets two on Spike and a top rope rana gets the same. Rey hits a springboard seated senton to Rey and a big facejam to D-Von. Kidman tags himself in and hits a jumping back elbow off the top (love that move) to Spike.

The BK Bomb (Sky High) gets two on Spike and everything breaks down. London dives off the top to the floor to take out Bubba as Rey and Kidman hit a Hart Attack on Spike. 619 to Spike sets up the Shooting Star for two but D-Von makes the save. Rey dives at D-Von but only hits barricade before Ray kills London with a clothesline. Kidman tries to fight off both big Dudleys on his own but walks into 3D with Spike getting the pin.

Rating: C. Good choice for an opener here but it might have been better to split this up and give us two title matches instead. Still though, starting things off with a fast paced tag match is always a good idea as it sets the pace for the rest of the show. The good guys’ high spots were more than enough to fire up the crowd and the show is off to a fast start, which is the goal of an opener.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. Kane. Matt’s girlfriend Lita slept with Kane to keep him from destroying Matt but got pregnant as a result. The solution? A match to determine who Lita has to marry of course. What else would it have been?

Matt Hardy vs. Kane

We get to see Lita in something resembling a dress which is a rare visual. This is called a Til Death Do Us Part match which I guess is similar to the Love Her Or Leave Her match in 1999, but I’m pretty sure it’s a standard one on one match. Matt jumps Kane from the opening bell and hits a running clothesline in the corner. The Side Effect gets two and kane is sent to the apron. A middle rope Fameasser brings Kane back inside and a nearly botched tornado DDT gets two.

Matt pounds on Kane in the corner as this is completely one sided so far. As soon as I say that, Kane comes back with a huge uppercut to lay Matt out. Kane chokes away both on the mat and in the corner before staring at Lita. Kane misses a charge and gets low bridged to the floor so Matt can hit a big dive. A Twist of Fate on the floor has Kane in trouble but there’s no count on the floor. Kane sits up and gets back in at nine so Matt goes back to the stomping.

Lita slides in the ring bell and distracts the referee long enough for Matt to knock Kane silly for two. Back up and Hardy has to fight out of a chokeslam bid but gets caught by a big boot to the face. Kane goes up top but gets crotched, sending Matt up for a top rope DDT. You don’t go up top with Kane though as he grabs Matt by the throat and a top rope chokeslam is good for the pin.

Rating: C. This was short but fun while it lasted. Matt was working hard out there but he was just up against too much. The top rope chokeslam looked good too with Matt bouncing off the canvas. Kane was good as a ruthless monster like this and the evil smiles helped a lot. Lita’s early days as a heel were fun give what was coming for her in the coming years.

Randy Ortno says tonight is about the rise of a new star, but someone stops him in his tracks. John Cena shows up and takes the spotlight from Orton and offers to hook Orton up with his own merchandise. Cena polls the audience and they don’t think he’s winning the title tonight. He’s still in the full on rapper mode but he’s clearly working as hard as he can at it which is what gets you noticed. Orton doesn’t care what the people think because he’s winning the title tonight.

Booker T. vs. John Cena

Booker is US Champion but this is the first match in a best of 5 series for the title, meaning the belt isn’t on the line here. Cena won the title at Wrestlemania but was stripped of it by then GM Kurt Angle with Booker winning it a few weeks later. They slug it out in the middle of the ring to start until Cena gets two off a hard clothesline. Booker elbows out of a hammerlock and chops away but another clothesline puts him down.

Cena hits the Throwback for two but Booker crotches him on the top and knocks Cena out to the floor to take over. Back in and Booker fires off a hook kick to the jaw and drops a knee to the head. The side kick (called a spin kick by Cole despite a lack of spinning) puts Cena down and it’s off to a quickly broken camel clutch. Booker stops Cena’s comeback and it’s off to a chinlock. Cena fights up and gets two off a quick small package before avoiding the ax kick. John makes his comeback with his usual array of strikes, only to get caught in a facejam, setting up the Spinarooni…..but Booker walks into the FU for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much and it’s kind of stupid to have the first match of a best of five series here. The whole thing wouldn’t end until October, dragging the idea out WAY too long. It wasn’t bad but this felt like it could have been on any given episode of Smackdown. Also did we really need to have the champion lose clean in less than seven minutes?

Teddy Long, still the Smackdown GM, brags about the best of 5 series idea to himself. Eric Bischoff comes in (Teddy: “Hey it’s the head cracker that runs Raw.”) and laughs at Smackdown for having so many GM’s. He thinks Teddy will be out of a job by Survivor Series. This is being written nearly nine years later and Teddy is still kicking around on Smackdown and has been GM on and off the entire time. Anyway Long says he’d love to take Bischoff’s nephew Eugene to Smackdown and making him a huge star. Apparently that offer is good for anyone sick of Bischoff’s nonsense.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Chris Jericho vs. Batista

Edge is defending and Batista has been destroying everyone left and right leading up to this with a big running clothesline. Batista jumps Edge during his entrance but Jericho is quickly on Big Dave. The fans are surprisingly behind Jericho despite us being in Edge’s hometown. Batista starts firing off the shoulder blocks in the corner and catches a cross body in a powerslam to put Jericho down. Edge comes in just in time to break up the Batista Bomb with Jericho going to the floor.

Batista drops Edge face first on the buckle with snake eyes but Jericho breaks up the big clothesline. Edge dropkicks Batista to the floor……and is booed out of the building. Odd indeed. He joins the challengers on the floor and sends Batista shoulder first into the steps as the fans say they want Christian. Instead they get a battle of the Canadians in the ring with Jericho being the HUGE favorite. Edge takes over and the booing begins again.

Jericho counters the Edgecution into a Walls attempt but Edge counters that into a small package for two. Edge rolls through a cross body for two but now the Walls go on full. Jericho pulls him away from the ropes and Edge is in big trouble but Batista makes the last second save. He sends Jericho into the post but gets caught by a tornado DDT from Edge for two.

Chris is back up just in time to break up the spear to Batista, because why would you want the monster taken down? Batista hits the spinebuster on Jericho for two as Edge saves. He escapes a spinebuster from Batista as well before getting two on a rollup to Jericho. Jericho makes another comeback on Edge with the fans entirely behind him. The bulldog takes Edge down but he has to dropkick Batista down, allowing Edge to spear his fellow Canadian down to retain.

Rating: C-. This came off like a forced heel turn for Edge and the full turn would be coming very soon. Jericho being the big favorite was only somewhat surprising as he was a native countryman but you would expect Edge to have been a bit popular there. The match was nothing special but the idea was to keep Batista down which is a nice rub for him and his time was coming soon.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle. Eddie beat Angle at Wrestlemania to retain the title and then Angle’s neck legitimately gave out so he was made GM. Angle then made the decision that cost Eddie the title (the right call actually) and then screwed him over in the rematch, setting up the second match here.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Technical stuff to start with Eddie actually surviving on the mat. The fans are almost entirely behind Angle but it’s Eddie going for the ankle. When that gets him nowhere it’s off to a headlock instead but you know Angle isn’t going to stand for that very long. He hooks a keylock on Eddie’s arm but Eddie gets out with a fireman’s carry. Off to an armbar by Guerrero but Angle spins out, only to be caught in the ankle lock in the middle of the ring.

Kurt finally rolls over and rakes the eyes to escape before hooking an Angle Slam for two. There go the straps and the ankle lock is locked on Eddie, only to have him counter into another one of his own. Kurt counters THAT into his second ankle lock but Guerrero makes it to the ropes. Angle’s heavy Luther Reigns gets in a cheap shot and Kurt goes right back to the hold but Eddie makes another rope.

Back in the middle of the ring and Angle hooks a very modified STF as the mat work continues nonstop. Kurt goes to a regular leg lock and starts taking off Eddie’s boot which is what cost him the Wrestlemania match. Off to a chinlock with a leg trap but Eddie fights up and gets a jawbreaker and an Angle Slam of his own. Yeah Kurt LOVED the whole stealing finishers bit.

Back up and Eddie fires away as his boot is almost off. The Three Amigos put Angle down but he pops up and runs the corner to suplex Guerrero down before the frog splash. The Angle Slam is countered into a DDT but the frog splash misses. Now the Angle Slam connects for two (duh) and the fans are behind Guerrero. Angle rips Eddie’s boot off and the ankle lock goes on again, but this time Eddie rolls through, sending Kurt into the referee.

A boot shot to the head puts down both Angle and Reigns but Eddie throws the boot down and drops to the mat like a good cheater. The frog splash gets two and the fans changes sides again. Eddie complains to the referee and the ankle lock goes on again, this time forcing the tap out.

Rating: B. This was entertaining but it felt like it skipped a few gears. The seven straight minutes of mat work were good but when you go from that into the traditional main event style it’s kind of a big jump. Angle looked good out there but Eddie really didn’t do much. It felt like we were just waiting on Angle to finally catch him and then he did to end the match.

We recap HHH vs. Eugene. Rock saved Eugene from an attack but Eugene said HHH was his favorite wrestler. HHH used this to his advantage and made Eugene an honorary member of Evolution. Flair: “It’ll kill our gimmick!” HHH said it was just to get the title back but Eugene wound up costing HHH his rematch against Benoit, leading to the Evolution beatdown. This led to HHH destroying Eugene’s friend William Regal, setting up HHH vs. Eugene tonight. You know, HHH, the multi-time world champion against a slow guy who learned to wrestle watching TV.

HHH vs. Eugene

They slug it out to start and HHH stomps him into the corner. Eugene comes back with an elbow to the face and a backdrop, sending HHH rolling to the floor. An ax handle off the apron puts HHH down and the booing begins. As in people are booing Eugene. This sounds like a good time for a sidebar.

For those of you that weren’t around in 2004, Eugene was easily the most over guy on the roster for a few weeks. I mean his music would play and the crowd would just explode, no matter what city they were in. Even I was a big fan of the guy. He was such a fun and innocent character that it was almost impossible to not like him. It was so goofy to see him doing Stunners and Rock Bottoms and stuff Junk Yard Dog did back in the day because it was like watching a five year old wrestle. Then one night he was shown in a gym beating William Regal in a chain wrestling contest, making him even more popular.

In other words, the Eugene character was a full on success. This is where WWE screwed everything up. Instead of just letting Eugene be what he was and make occasional appearances to pop the crowd (or open house show matches beating some annoying heel), they pushed it too far. The minute they put him in a story about the world title with main event level guys, it was all over.

At the end of the day, that’s just not what the people wanted Eugene to be. They wanted it to be fun and silly so they could have a good time with it, but WWE tried to make it serious, completely killing the joke. As soon as you tell fans that Eugene’s character has a problem, you’re no longer laughing at a guy who does goofy things but rather you’re laughing at a slow guy, which no one wants to do.

This lead to the fans not wanting to watch Eugene anymore, because he really was just a guy doing a bunch of random wrestling moves and had no business being at this level (Note that Nick Dinsmore, the guy that portrayed Eugene is a very talented wrestler. His character was what didn’t belong here, not Dinsmore himself. BIG difference). When you try to force the fans to like something in a way they don’t want to, it’s going to blow up in a hurry. The lesson to be learned: don’t make the audience go somewhere they don’t want to go, because at the end of the day they make the decisions, not the company.

So anyway HHH hides behind Lillian to get the advantage and rams Eugene into the barricade before heading back inside for some stomping. He loads up the announce table but Eugene suplexes him back in to block. Eugene pounds away back inside but HHH sends him to the floor. Back in and HHH hits some backbreakers after suckering Eugene in after faking an injury. Eugene comes back so HHH begs off again, only to be pulled into a Rock Bottom and a People’s Elbow, with the latter being pulled into a spinebuster from HHH.

They head outside again with HHH sending him into the steps, busting Eugene’s shoulder open. Back inside and HHH continues toying with him before hooking a sleeper. Eugene shakes his finger at two arm drops before powering up and pounding away. He Hulks Up, catches the boot and does the Austin version of the finger in the face before hitting a Stunner. Back to the floor (again?) and here’s Flair.

Eugene hits the big boot and legdrop for two but has to deck Flair. A Pedigree is countered into a catapult and Eugene hits one of his own but it’s Flair making the save. Flair trips Eugene and gets ejected, drawing out Regal to knock Flair out cold. The distraction lets HHH hit the Pedigree for the pin on Eugene.

Rating: D-. Let’s recap: it took fourteen minutes and help from Flair for HHH to beat Eugene. On the other hand, we had to sit through fourteen minutes of HHH vs. Eugene and HHH had to sell most of the offense. AT SUMMERSLAM! This was the death of the Eugene character, even though he would win the tag titles with Regal soon after this. Somehow he went on THREE MORE YEARS, which is remarkable after how stupid this match was.

Now let’s waste more time with Divas Dodgeball, which is exactly what it sounds like. This is taking place at a basketball practice facility so you know the live crowd is THRILED. It’s good looking girls basically in swimsuits and another team in uniforms. This is beneath me and that’s all there is to it. It’s the main roster Divas vs. the Diva Search girls and after about five minutes of intros we get to the two minute game. The Diva Search girls dominate and win.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

No real story here other than Taker has to get a title shot at one PPV a year. They quickly head to the floor and taker has to glare JBL’s goon Orlando Jordan down before punching the champion in the face. Back inside but JBL punches his way out of Old School. A neckbreaker puts Taker down and a side slam gets two. Jibbles hits a top rope shoulder for two more but Taker pulls him down with an armbar of all things.

Now Old School connects and a downward spiral gets two before Taker cranks on a triangle choke. Back up and they trade big boots but Taker has to knock Jordan off the apron. JBL takes him down and wraps the leg around the post before cracking the ankle with a chair. The bad knee is rammed into the announce table and we head back inside with JBL busting out a Robinsdale Crunch of all things.

Off to a side leg lock but Taker quickly counters into a half crab. Taker switches over to a knee bar and the fans are loudly booing. Back up and Taker punches him out to the floor with a big right hand going into JBL’s jaw. The fans want the Spanish table but get the apron leg drop and more standing around. Back in and JBL gets punched off the top, setting up an Undertaker superplex but JBL goes right back to the knee to take over. He tries a spinning toehold but gets caught by the throat.

Taker hits a spinebuster of all things for two and the fans are counting down to something. The jumping clothesline puts JBL down but Taker’s knee is bothering him. A Snake Eyes and big clothesline combination gets two on the champion. The chokeslam connects but JBL gets a shoulder up to surprise the crowd. Here comes the tombstone but Taker has to get rid of Jordan again, allowing the Clothesline to put the dead man down for two.

Now the fans are behind Undertaker as he pounds away in the corner. There goes the referee and a double big boot puts both guys down. Jordan throws in the title so JBL can knock Taker out but even with Jordan picking up the referee’s hand it’s only good for two. Another Jordan distraction lets JBL hit a second Clothesline for no cover. He pounds away in the corner and gets caught in the Last Ride but there’s STILL no referee. A delayed cover gets two and here’s Jordan for the 4^th time but Taker knocks the title out of his hand, decks JBL with it, and gets caught for the LAME disqualification.

Rating: D. I’ve seen worse matches but the ending dragged it into the ground. This needed about five minutes taken away and added to the previous match to make the best out of everything. The match just went WAY too long and they had to repeat things so many times that the fans were chanting for the table instead of the match. This would be a repetitive pattern for JBL matches for the next eight months or so. Also what happened to Taker’s leg injury after about ten minutes in?

Taker chokeslams JBL through the roof of his limousine for revenge and to fill in some time. JBL does a stretcher job.

Wrestlemania 21 is in LA.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

Orton won a battle royal a month ago to set this up. It’s weird to see Orton with hair, regular colored skin and few tattoos. The fans of course are more interested in telling Earl Hebner that he screwed Bret. Feeling out process to start with Benoit taking it into the corner for a clean break. Benoit takes it to the mat and puts on a hard chinlock which gets him nowhere. Off to a test of strength with the taller Orton taking over, but Benoit comes back with pure leverage.

Benoit hooks an armbar as we reset a bit. Orton fights up and is armdragged right back down to the mat with Benoit cranking away on the arm. That goes nowhere so Benoit tries a Sharpshooter but Orton kicks him off and puts on one of his own. Benoit counters into his own Sharpshooter but it’s not on full, allowing Orton to get to the ropes. The Crossface doesn’t go on full either so they head to the floor where Benoit is whipped into the barricade.

There’s the Spanish table chant again as Benoit is sent shoulder first into the post. Back in and Orton puts on an armbar of his own, showing some basic psychology. Orton drops him ribs first across the top rope and the fight moves to the outside with Benoit hitting a kind of DDT onto the apron to take over. Chris tries a suicide dive but rams his head into the barricade as Orton moves to the side. Back in and Orton wrenches the neck around before putting on something resembling a camel clutch.

Orton puts Benoit over his shoulder for a powerbomb but steps forward into a neckbreaker for two in a nice move. We hit the chinlock which is actually a smart move here. Back up and both guys hit cross bodies for a double knockout. They slug it out with the champion taking over via a series of forearms to the head. Orton blocks the rolling Germans but gets caught in a northern lights for two.

Randy fights off a superplex and hits a high cross body for two, crushing Benoit’s head again in the process. Chris ducks a clothesline and hits a release German suplex before putting on the Sharpshooter. Two arm drops later and Orton gets to the ropes, only to be caught in a long series of rolling Germans for two. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but Orton gets up the knee, driving it right into Benoit’s jaw. That’s hard to watch today. Orton’s cover is countered into a bad looking Crossface but Orton rolls away to escape. Back up and another Crossface attempt is countered into the RKO out of nowhere for the pin and the title.

Rating: B+. This took a bit to get going but I really liked the ending with the RKO hitting from nowhere. It caught the technical master off guard which was the right idea given that Orton is younger and faster. It’s a good match and Benoit put Orton over clean right in the middle of the ring. You can’t ask for more than that.

Orton celebrates as Benoit leaves but Chris comes back and demands that Orton be a man and shake his hand.

Overall Rating: D. This show really wasn’t all that good. You have two good matches out of eight on the card (faces being 2-6 on this show didn’t help things) with Angle vs. Guerrero having been done better at Wrestlemania and Benoit vs. Orton being done again the next night on Raw. Undertaker vs. JBL would go on for a few more months while Benoit would drop out of the title scene. Orton’s push would be stopped cold as HHH would beat him for the title a month later and hold onto it until April because that’s what HHH does. This isn’t a good show though and is one of the worst Summerslams in a long time.

Ratings Comparison

Dudleys vs. Billy Kidman/Paul London/Rey Mysterio

Original: B-

Redo: C

Matt Hardy vs. Kane

Original: B

Redo: C

John Cena vs. Booker T

Original: D

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. Edge vs. Batista

Original: C

Redo: C-

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: C-

Redo: B

HHH vs. Eugene

Original: D

Redo: D-

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: D

Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

Original: A

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: D

What was I thinking on that Undertaker match?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: March 4, 2004
Location: Savannah Civic Center, Savannah, Georgia
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We have two shows left before Wrestlemania and the show is mostly set on the blue side. It includes the best built match on the card with Smackdown World Champion Eddie Guerrero defending against Kurt Angle. Last week Angle turned it into a morality play, which makes for an interesting story between the two. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Paul Heyman is in his office and welcomes us to the show, which is a very stressful time for him. He narrates a recap of last week’s show with Eddie trying to get at Angle and getting arrested for his efforts, which Heyman says is a familiar place for him. Tonight, both of them will get to tell their side of the story live, in the ring. By that, he means Eddie is ordered to apologize.

Opening sequence.

Steve Austin’s music hits and here’s Brock Lesnar riding out on Austin’s ATV. Lesnar admits to stealing the ATV (I think he’s made that clear) and says it’ll drive over anything, except a tow truck. Unlike Austin, Lesnar has the courage to come on another man’s show and do something he feels like doing. We get a clip of the F5 to Austin and Lesnar promises that Goldberg is next. Actually someone else is next.

Hardcore Holly vs. Brock Lesnar

Holly charges in and kicks Lesnar to the floor but walks into a big spinebuster back inside. It’s already off to the gutwrench that dominated their Royal Rumble match because it worked so well the first time. As Cole calls their Royal Rumble match a classic (egads man), Holly fights up but gets clotheslined outside. Holly manages to post the shoulder and gets two off a belly to back suplex. Lesnar shakes that off though and hits the F5 for the pin. Too short to rate but much more energetic and better than the “classic” at the Rumble.

Post match Lesnar has some beers to Austin’s music.

Danny Basham vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Scotty headlocks him down to start and hits a suplex into some dancing. That earns him a posting and a Fujiwara armbar (makes sense) keeps the shoulder in trouble. The hold doesn’t last long (they probably don’t have the time) so Scotty comes up with a superkick but the referee yells at Rikishi. The distraction lets Doug come in instead, setting up a small package for the pin on Scotty. Just a way to set up the title match at Wrestlemania.

Video on Angle vs. Guerrero.

Angle joins us via satellite and talks about all the horrible things you hear athletes doing today. You can’t open the paper without seeing someone with a drug or legal issue. He’s not going to let that happen again with Eddie. Cole talks about Eddie’s public apology tonight but Eddie isn’t buying it. Would Cole be ok with his children acting like Eddie? If his actions are able to change one person’s mind about Eddie, the boos are worth it. He won’t let people like Eddie take over this company.

This was a great lesson in heel psychology. A heel doesn’t have to be right in their actions. All they have to do is justify their actions in their own mind, which is what Angle has done here. Angle has turned heel, but he still thinks he’s doing the right thing and views himself as the hero in the whole thing. That makes for a great heel turn and Angle is selling it very well.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Funaki

Non-title. Funaki dropkicks him to the floor to start and adds a baseball slide to break up some consultation with Chavo Sr. Back in and Chavo takes over with a shot to the ribs and an abdominal stretch. With the hold on, Chavo Sr. jumps on commentary to complain about his son having to defend the title nine times at Wrestlemania. Funaki gets two off a bulldog as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled here. A high crossbody drops Chavo but Sr. gets on the apron for a distraction. Chavo rams the back of Funaki’s neck into his knee and steals the pin after kind of a weird finish.

Rating: D. I’m not sure what the point is in having Chavo win the match here and take away whatever momentum Funaki could have as a challenger. I know he doesn’t have much of a chance to win the title but why give him a loss when you don’t have to? This could have been good if they had some more time but at three and a half minutes, it’s the longest match on the show so far.

Heyman tells Dawn Marie that it’s time for Eddie’s apology.

Video on the South Africa tour.

Heyman and Dawn Marie are in the ring but he sends her to the back in case things get ugly. Here’s Eddie (on foot this week) and Heyman lays out the reasons Eddie needs to apologize, including knocking Dawn Marie down last week. Eddie actually apologizes….but he was lying! He even mocks Heyman for falling for something like that and looking like the deer in the headlights. Eddie is proud of being a father, husband and the WWE Champion who represents these fans. He going to walk into Wrestlemania XX as WWE Champion but then he’s walking out just the same.

Heyman is livid and says the only thing he disdains more than Eddie as WWE Champion is Eddie as a person. He wishes his hands weren’t tied by the board of directors or he’d give Eddie a beating himself. Eddie: “You couldn’t beat me if I had both hands tied behind my back.” You can figure out where this, including the ending of the show, is going. Heyman makes a match between the two of them for later tonight with Eddie handcuffed. Eddie’s face is perfect as he couldn’t look more relaxed about the whole thing.

Billy Kidman/Ultimo Dragon/Rey Mysterio vs. Tajiri/Sakoda/Akio

It needs the time, but I can’t believe the Cruiserweight Open is getting two matches of build. Or that Dragon is still employed. Dragon misses an early spinwheel kick but settles for rolling out of a sunset flip and kicking Sakoda in the chest. Tajiri and Kidman come in with more kicks having Kidman in trouble.

Akio slaps on a bearhug as Tazz completely loses himself in a discussion of what would happen if Tajiri and Akio wind up fighting for the title. Even Cole calls him out for making no sense and Tazz actually concedes. You know it’s stupid if even he’ll admit it. Kidman gets in a bulldog and dives over for the hot tag to Mysterio so things can pick up in a hurry. Everything breaks down and Dragon dives onto Sakoda but Tajiri breaks up the 619. Kidman dives onto him instead and Rey’s spinning DDT finishes Akio.

Rating: C-. This needed about three more minutes as it was really turning into the usual awesome cruiserweight spot fest, which is what these six should be doing. Mysterio is the top challenger for the title at Wrestlemania so having Kidman or Dragon getting the pin here would have made sense, but at least we got something with a little more time.

Heyman swears vengeance on Guerrero and Dawn Marie isn’t talking him out of it.

Here’s the World’s Greatest Tag Team dressed up as the APA (with Shelton as Bradshaw and Charlie as Bradshaw for some reason). Southern jokes run amok, including shots at beer drinking, smoking and marrying your sister’s cousin. Bradshaw thinks Haas and Benjamin are a couple of sexual tyrannosauruses but it’s time for a song.

Just when I’m thinking the only thing missing is a West Texas Rednecks song, THEY SING A WEST TEXAS REDNECKS SONG with APA Is Crap. Cue the real APA for the brawl, followed by the Bashams and Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi. So yes, sixteen people are going to be in two bad Tag Team Title matches. Is it too early to request a battle royal instead? Throw the cruiserweights in there and you’re already at 26.

Wrestlemania recall: Rock vs. Hogan. Well that works, even if they don’t show the Hulk Up.

Big Show vs. A-Train

First up, Cena makes American Idol jokes and promises to win the US Title. The energetic Cena gets shoved down, bringing a smile to his face. They head outside with A-Train clotheslining the post by mistake to give Cena a target. Back in and some arm cranking doesn’t get Cena far as A-Train uses the good arm to clothesline him down.

It’s time to work on Cena’s bad knee with A-Train in trouble as we take a break. Back with Cena firing off some right hands and forearms until more shots to the knee cut him off. Cena’s big clothesline gets him out of trouble and there’s the Shuffle. The FU gives Cena the easy pin.

Rating: D. I can appreciated A-Train working on the knee and all that good stuff but there wasn’t exactly much to see here. They were going with the idea of Cena fighting a giant to set up his more important match against the other giant so the booking is sound, but there’s not much of a way around such a lame match.

Post match Big Show comes out to brag about how awesome he is and lists off the things he’s done. The girls may love Cena’s abs but Big Show isn’t exactly impressed. At Madison Square Garden, everything ends for Cena.

Wrestlemania rundown. It looks good, but really, really long.

Heyman tells the referee to make Eddie’s handcuffs tight. Oh and Heyman will keep the key so he can beat some sense into Eddie.

The Hall of Fame Class of 2004 is announced:

Jesse Ventura

Harley Race

Billy Graham

Tito Santana

Sgt. Slaughter

Bobby Heenan

Don Muraco

Greg Valentine

Big John Studd

Junkyard Dog

Pete Rose

I’m glad the thing is back, but for the first class in nearly ten years, they don’t really have a major headliner, at least not for their time in WWE. Some big names, but the biggest WWE name is….Heenan? Ventura? Maybe Slaughter? Not exactly the big headliner you would expect.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Paul Heyman

Non-title with Eddie’s hands cuffed behind his back and the announcers acting like this is Austin vs. Hogan. Heyman talks a lot of trash and gets kicked into the corner where he shouts in pain. Another kick is enough for Heyman and he walks out….with Angle replacing him as the match ends.

Angle gives him a death stare that would intimidate Ivan Drago before slowly taping his fists. Not being the brightest guy in the world, Eddie gets into the ring (still cuffed) instead of running through the crowd. Angle slowly gets in and stalks Eddie before taking him down so the proper beating can begin. The taped right hand puts Eddie down and the fans chant for the champ. You can see the fear in Eddie’s eyes as he knows he’s screwed. Angle picks up the belt and knocks Eddie cold to end the show. More great stuff from Angle, who came off like a heartless machine here, which makes me want to see Eddie fight back.

Overall Rating: D+. Eddie and Angle are carrying this show on their backs but the weight is a little too much for them. Looking back over this show, there is next to nothing going on that would make me want to see what’s next for Smackdown. We’re ten days from Wrestlemania and there’s one Smackdown match worth seeing. The problem continues to be cramming so much stuff on there and the bad is outweighing the good. I’ve said something similar to this before and it’s true here: the good is very good but the bad is much more uninspiring and dull, which can be a lot worse than bad.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 1, 2004
Location: Gwinnett Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 9,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Last week saw three matches added to Wrestlemania, which makes sense given how soon the show is actually taking place. There are still a few things to hammer out though and that can be done in the next two weeks. Maybe they can find a better way to do things than by just having Vince stand in the ring and make matches. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Vince making Undertaker vs. Kane, Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar and the Playboy tag match last week. That’s certainly a way to set up a show in a hurry.

Opening sequence, which is cut off by Austin’s entrance to deal with La Resistance, who are protesting in the ring. You don’t see that very often and it’s a cool way to open the show. One Stunner drops Rob Conway and Sylvan Grenier runs away. Austin wants to deal with Lesnar and still isn’t happy with Goldberg spearing him a few weeks back. He’s going to call the match right down the middle but he’s ready to beat either one of them up at a moment’s notice.

Before he can get to the closing catchphrase, here’s Vince McMahon for a flashback showdown. Vince thinks Austin is a lousy referee and is going to get beaten up by both guys at Wrestlemania. Wouldn’t that make Vince very happy? Vince makes fun of Austin’s ATV so Austin runs down its specifics and thinks Vince has a 15-20 yard head start.

The chase is on and Vince bails to the parking lot where his limo is waiting. Austin drives over that (with a convenient camera inside the card) and Vince gets away. This was a big long ad for Goldberg vs. Lesnar without having Goldberg or Lesnar because things are getting a little screwy behind the scenes. When all else fails, go with Austin vs. Vince again because warming it up again six years later can’t hurt.

Victoria/Lita vs. Jazz/Molly Holly

Molly and Jazz get in an argument before the bell so Jazz walks out on the match. Victoria rolls Molly up for the pin in about thirty seconds. Jazz leaving didn’t change a thing.

Post match Molly beats the heck out of Victoria and pulls out some of her hair.

We look at the issues between Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels over the last few weeks.

Michaels doesn’t think he and Benoit can get along.

John Hennigan comes in to see Eric Bischoff and dubs himself Johnny Blaze. Some sucking up works as Bischoff makes him his apprentice. Austin comes in and stares Bischoff down as Bischoff says he had nothing to do with Lesnar last week. Now it’s Molly coming in demanding a rematch at Wrestlemania. Since she has Victoria’s hair in her hand, Austin makes it title vs. hair.

Molly panics at the idea of being bald. Austin: “You got a problem with bald headed people?” Hennigan tries to offer a handshake and gets a hard stare before Austin leaves. Apparently Molly and Victoria were told they couldn’t have a regular match but jumped at the chance for a hair match as it was the only way they were getting on the card. That’s some dedication to your craft.

Rosey/Hurricane vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

The winners are in the four way for the title at Wrestlemania. Hurricane spins out of a wristlock to start and stops Cade with the superhero pose. It’s already off to Rosey for a kick to the chest and some superheroic arm cranking. The young guys try to pound Hurricane down to no avail so it’s a backbreaker for some more success.

A slam gives Cade two, showing off those developmental skills. Cade puts on a reverse chinlock but the power of a finger bite gets Hurricane out. It’s back to Rosey for the big Samoan drop but Jindrak hits a LOUD left hand to knock him off the top. A rollup with tights gives Cade the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D-. That’s one of the least necessary Wrestlemania appearances I can think of. You can almost guarantee a three way for the titles but the world was waiting for the thing to become a four way. Cade and Jindrak are a nothing team that barely ever even gets on the roster but they’re getting a Wrestlemania title shot? Why? Just to expand a match? That’s not exactly the best idea in the world.

Benoit only trusts himself, including in the tag match tonight.

Clip of Mick Foley’s great interview from last week where he got upset and promised to be here for revenge tonight.

Here’s Rico in the ring to introduce Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda to showcase their evening gowns. Rico: “These ladies are so hot they even make Rico melt.” I have no idea why I’m supposed to be more interested in seeing them in long gowns than the usual very revealing outfits they were but WWE has some weird notions. Rico talks about how gorgeous they are over and over again until Kane finally comes out (seemed like a missed cue).

In a surprising display of chivalry, Rico charges at him and then gets back up to save the women again. He gets chokeslammed for it but at least he tried. Kane promises to persecute Undertaker at Biblical proportions at Wrestlemania. I’m not sure what that means but Kane knows how to make it scary. The gong goes off and the blue lights come on, followed by an Undertaker symbol bursting into flames. JR thinks Kane might be afraid. Thanks for clarifying that the guy who looks terrified is actually scared.

Shawn and Benoit are in the back and nearly come to blows before their match. Benoit acts kindly by allowing Shawn to go first, though it might be due to Shawn’s music playing.

Shawn Michaels/Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton/Batista

Benoit gets to start with Batista and drop toeholds him into the buckle. With Batista staggered, Benoit just launches himself for a forearm to the face and a knockdown. Shawn comes in and crotches Batista against the post (with Batista’s face freezing in a funny visual. He’s fine enough to try a Batista Bomb but Shawn punches his way to freedom. A whip into the corner works a bit better and it’s off to Orton for some stomping in the corner

Evolution starts taking turns on Shawn with a wide range of kicks and punches to the face. The HBK chants begin and like a good face, Shawn slugs away to little avail. Batista’s chokebomb is countered into a DDT (nice one) and it’s off to Benoit. A dragon screw legwhip takes Batista down and it’s time to roll some German suplexes. The Crossface goes on but Orton knocks Shawn into the hold for the break.

That’s enough for Benoit, who shoves Shawn but gets punched in the jaw. All four are down and we take a break. Back with Orton holding Benoit in a bow and arrow before switching to a bodyscissors with a pull of the face. JR: “Orton with those powerful legs. Who does he think he is? Joe Stecher?” Orton sticks with the legs by dropping one for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. Batista comes in for a half crab but Benoit fights up and scores with an enziguri.

Shawn doesn’t stick his hand out for a tag though, meaning Benoit has to suplex Orton and get about a foot away to bring Michaels in. Shawn cleans house and drops the elbow on Orton but Batista breaks up Sweet Chin Music. Everything breaks down and Benoit hits a German suplex on Orton, only to have Shawn accidentally crotch him on top. Shawn covers Orton but Benoit comes off with the Swan Dive anyway. The real fight is on and Orton rolls Shawn up for the pin.

Rating: B. This was much more storytelling than action, though the action was good. It’s also a weird way to do things as Benoit and Michaels look weak before the biggest match of the year. I guess you want to tease that HHH could win because of their issues, but HHH has looked strong long enough. Let Benoit and Shawn catch up to him a bit (Benoit needs it far more than Shawn) and don’t have them lose less than two weeks before Wrestlemania.

Post match Shawn and Benoit go at it until HHH runs in and Evolution beats the two of them down. The FOLEY chants go nowhere as HHH Pedigrees both guys.

Post break Foley arrives and Evolution isn’t happy, though they think it’s time to give Foley his weekly beating.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel, even though Chris Jericho is injured. Instead here’s Christian and we’ll be having the Peep Show. Last week Christian was a little rough with Trish and had her screaming in pain, but after that he had her in his hotel room and she was screaming in pleasure. Both things were a little rough but sometimes it’s the only way to go.

See, Christian did all of this in the name of tough love, and there is going to be more tough love at Wrestlemania when he faces Jericho one on one. This brings out Jericho to no music and Christian is scared, despite Jericho’s noticeable limp. Jericho charges in and the fight is on with Christian getting away off a kick to the knee.

We look back at the ATV deal.

Wrestlemania rundown. Another team will be announced for the Raw Tag Team Titles on Heat because IT MUST BE A FOUR WAY!

A tow truck steals Austin’s ATV. So he just left it sitting there?

HHH leaves because Evolution can handle Foley by themselves. Orton has something in mind.

Booker T./Rob Van Dam vs. Matt Hardy/Test

Non-title, meaning Test and Matt, who paid cash for his home and has more money than you, can’t win the titles. During the entrances, JR, asks why someone isn’t calling the cops about the ATV. Fair point, which isn’t likely to ever be addressed. As things get started, JR says that Jindrak and Lance Cade have already qualified, making me wonder again why they ever bothered with Garrison.

Van Dam dives onto Matt to start but gets taken outside for a whip into the steps. Back in and Test mocks Van Dam’s finger pointing and gets rolled up for two as JR suggests Lawler would get mad if he wore a crown. Rob kicks Matt down and the lukewarm tag brings in Booker. Everything breaks down and the Book End gets two on Test. Booker kicks Test down but stops for a Spinarooni, because Booker never learns. Matt gets in a cheap shot but Test kicks him down by mistake. The ax kick sets up the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a quick tag match here as Booker and Van Dam continue to gain momentum, even though it’s not like they’re on top of a tough division in the first place. That being said, it’s not like either of them have anything better to do anyway so this is as good as anything else they could be doing. The match was nothing, but did you expect anything else?

Here’s Foley for the big show closing chat. He promised to be here tonight but here’s Evolution to cut him off. JR: “It’s time to pay Satan.” Well that’s a jump up in intensity. Orton doesn’t get why Foley is here because the weekly beatdowns are starting to hurt Orton’s hand. Foley can have the one on one match at Wrestlemania if he wants one but Foley knows that it’s too good to be true.

There is never going to be a one on one match because Evolution (Foley: “You watch your step Flair. I’ll knock you out!”) is always going to be around. Foley has something else in mind: a 3-2 handicap match (POP for that) with a special partner. Orton knows where this is going and tells Foley to go find a payphone and call Mr. Big Shot. Go tell Mr. Walking Tall that neither of them is watching after Wrestlemania.

Foley leaves to go make the call but has a better idea. How about Orton tells him to his face? Foley never said he was coming back to Raw alone, so cue the Rock at a full sprint. Orton looks terrified (well duh) and the Rock N Sock Connection cleans house with the Claw, Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow to Orton. Rock, with a goatee, says Evolution’s days of beating on Foley are over because Evolution is invited to a one of a kind beating at Wrestlemania. Catchphrases are hit to end the show on a hot note.

Overall Rating: C-. The Wrestlemania build is starting to suffer as there is so much stuff going on that they’re trying to cover everything at once and it’s starting to collapse. The triple threat is getting the attention it deserves but other than that, it feels like they’re throwing in a bunch of people onto the show instead of trying to build the stories up into something interesting. That pay per view card video felt really heavy and that’s not what you want going into one of the biggest shows of all time.

This week’s show wasn’t bad but there’s very little that I really want to see. Goldberg vs. Lesnar is in a weird place (mainly due to contract issues) where neither can show up and the best story is over on Smackdown. That leaves you with HHH standing tall for the moment and Austin vs. McMahon again, at least for the time being. It leaves the build feeling somewhere between weak and messy, and that’s not a good place to be.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: February 26, 2004
Location: Kemper Arena, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

So Kurt Angle is now full on heel again and that means Smackdown World Champion Eddie Guerrero is in real trouble. On top of that you can see most of the Wrestlemania card and that’s a good thing given how close we are to the show. There are a few interpromotional matches tonight too, meaning we might even see some guest stars tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Angle says people have been asking why he did it. Was it revenge? Jealousy? Or the WWE Championship? We’ll find out tonight. My bet is on hair jealousy.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman vs. Nunzio

The winner gets a Cruiserweight shot at Wrestlemania. Noble jumps Mysterio before Kidman is even out here and it’s a big brawl to start. Hang on though as we cut to the back where Eddie Guerrero goes into Paul Heyman’s office. With Tajiri, Sakoda and Akio in the background, Eddie promises to beat up Angle tonight. Eddie wants to know what Heyman knew about all of this but Paul denies everything.

That’s enough for Eddie so he leaves Heyman to promise to take care of Tajiri and company’s problems. With that out of the way, we go back to the arena for a series of dives to the floor that leaves everyone down. Kidman and Nunzio fight on top with Nunzio getting crotched and Kidman falling to the floor. A double clothesline puts Mysterio and Noble down as we take a break.

Back with Noble’s tiger bomb being reversed into a 619 attempt but Kidman breaks it up with a hard clothesline. Mysterio gets two off a facebuster and a nasty looking moonsault press hits Kidman. Noble makes the save and throws Mysterio outside, followed by a neckbreaker for two on his cousin. As Kidman is sent outside, Mysterio hits the 619 on Nunzio….and here are Heyman and Tajiri and company to say this match is canceled.

Rating: C+. This was getting good until the hitting a wall ending but that’s going to set up a storyline. That being said, I do like the idea of these four starting off the show and giving the fans some high flying. That’s always going to work and it worked here. On the other hand though, you have the cutaway to Eddie, which has its good and bad elements. I like the idea of having things feel more realistic (as in not having Eddie pop in right after a match ends) but I’m never big on cutting away from a match. Just go with a split screen or something. But still, good match.

Heyman says there is no Japanese representation in this match and we can’t have racial discrimination around here. Therefore, at Wrestlemania, it’s going to be a Cruiserweight Open elimination match for the title. Akio and Sakoda hit the ring but Rey suicide dives Tajiri before bailing.

We look back at Eddie winning the title and being attacked by Angle two days later. That was a great heel turn and beatdown.

Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi vs. APA

Non-title and at least it’s not the Bashams again. Faarooq shoves Scotty down like he’s not even there to start so Scotty nips up and moon walks. Thankfully Faarooq punches him in the face and brings Bradshaw in so the pace can pick up (it’s a bad sign when Bradshaw is the more active member of the team).

Scotty throws some right hands and makes a blind tag so Rikishi can hit the belly to belly on Bradshaw. The sitdown splash misses though and brings the announcers back to the match instead of talking about Vince’s announcements on Raw. Scotty offers a distraction so Rikishi can superkick Bradshaw but here are the Bashams for a distraction. The Clothesline finishes Rikishi.

Rating: D. All things considered, this was about as good as it was going to get. Faarooq just couldn’t move anymore and you’re only going to get so much out of the other three in the first place. The ending would seem to set up a multi-team match at Wrestlemania and while these titles don’t need to be defended there, at least it’s some fresh blood in the mix.

Here’s the segment from Raw with Vince announcing Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar for Wrestlemania, Austin being named guest referee, and Lesnar running in to F5 Austin.

Lesnar talks about begging Vince to make the match because Austin brought Goldberg to No Way out, which is why he lost the WWE Championship. You can’t fault his logic. Goldberg can feel pain in New York and if Austin gets involved, he’ll feel OFF THE HOOK pain.

Here’s Eddie for a chat. After soaking in the chants, he talks about winning the title and going back to see his buddies. He doesn’t know how long he’s going to hold the title because he takes it one day at a time. It’s been eleven days as champion now but more importantly he’s been clean from drugs and alcohol for two years now. That was one day at a time too and it’s a formula that works.

Last week changed things though and now he wants Angle out here right now. Eddie wants to deal with him one punch at a time. There’s no Angle so Eddie wants to take the fight to him instead. Eddie storms up the ramp and heads to the back where he finds Heyman and Dawn Marie instead. Heyman has her call the cops, who show up in about four seconds with Angle by their side. It’s almost on but Eddie shoves Heyman into Dawn by mistake, sending Heyman into hysterics. The cops take Eddie out of the arena.

Brock Lesnar vs. Billy Gunn

Brock powers him around but stops after the GOLDBERG chants get under his skin. An overhead belly to belly has Gunn in trouble but he avoids a charge in the corner to send Lesnar shoulder first into the post. Gunn puts on one of the worst cross armbreakers I’ve ever seen and thankfully Brock is right next to the ropes so they can do something else. The Stinger Splash is cut off by a knee to the ribs and a good looking spinebuster gives Lesnar two. As always there’s something cathartic about seeing Gunn get beaten up.

We hit the gutwrench on the mat but since that’s boring even for Lesnar, he throws Gunn down with a German suplex. And never mind as it’s right back to the gutwrench. Billy fights back and hits a running jumping Diamond Cutter (I’m sure Orton will be thrilled) but misses another Stinger Splash. The F5 gives Lesnar the pin.

Rating: D+. Much longer than it needed to be here with Gunn not being the most believable opponent for Lesnar. I know Gunn was a big favorite of the company but I need more than Lesnar beating him up for eight minutes. At least Lesnar won clean and goes into what should be a heck of a fight with Goldberg at Wrestlemania.

Wrestlemania rundown. It’s a heck of a three hour card but they’re stretching it to four. Also, nice touch in having just the Undertaker symbol instead of his picture. Keep things a little more mysterious.

Here are Torrie Wilson and Sable in evening gowns and holding hands because fans go for things like that. Sign in the front row: Playboy cover + lotion = smiley face. Torrie thanks the fans for everything before talking about the Evening Gown match at Wrestlemania. After some sexual innuendo and general trash talk, here’s John Cena to interrupt. Torrie and Sable dancing to Cena’s music in evening gowns is quite the strange visual. Cena makes the exact jokes you would expect about the Playboy….and that’s it as it’s time for the main event.

John Cena/Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show/Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Rey is substituting for Eddie. Chavo and Rey start things off with a quick wrestling sequence before Rey goes with the right hands. A faceplant allows the hot tag off to Show for the huge toss across the ring. That always looks impressive, no matter how many times I’ve seen it. Chavo comes back in and gets caught in the sitout bulldog so Cena can come in with a top rope ax handle to the head. Cena knocks Show off the apron but he’s right back in to break up the FU.

Back from a break with Show working on Cena’s knee, which is still banged up from the Rumble. That’s a heck of a knee injury. The fans get behind Cena but it just seems to make Show angrier, making them quite the nuisance. Cena goes with the sleeper on Show’s back but gets flipped forward without much effort. Show is staggered enough that Cena can get over to Rey though and it’s dropkicks to the knee a go-go.

Since Show can shrug those off, Rey gets thrown down again and Chavo rolls some vertical suplexes. The missed frog splash lets Rey get two off la majistral as everything breaks down. Cena gets sent into the barricade but manages to send Big Show over it for a crash. Back inside, the 619 is enough to put Chavo away. You don’t see that get the pin on its own very often.

Rating: C+. Nice tag match here with both feuds getting some attention. Cena vs. Show should be a good though completely predictable match and that’s perfectly fine. Rey vs. Chavo on the other hand is a match that could take place at any other show but here, it’s something that has been bogged down by having to get a bunch of people on the show. That’s not always pleasant, but I get why it needs to happen.

Post match Show beats up Rey and chokeslams Cena.

Same Angle video that opened the show.

Here’s Angle for his explanation. Angle has been asked why he attacked Eddie and it’s because it was the right thing to do. He attacked Eddie for the fans of Smackdown and for America. Eddie is a former drug addict who tells children that it’s cool to lie, cheat and steal. America was built on character and it needs to go back to its fundamental principles. This country has given us the freedom of choice and Eddie can’t have a clear conscience.

It’s a matter of time before Eddie falls off the wagon and we don’t need a drug addict as WWE Champion. As soon as Eddie won the title, it started eating at Angle’s soul. He knew he had to do something and has even prayed about it. Angle knows he’s going to receive criticism for what he’s done but he had to do it. That’s it for Angle but here’s Eddie to go after him. Cue Heyman with the cops to have Eddie arrested for assault. Angle follows the cuffed Guerrero into the police car and talks a bunch of trash about how much of an embarrassment Eddie is to the title. The car pulls away to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Every week that goes by shows that Smackdown’s contribution to the show is one match but it’s going to be one awesome setup. Everything else is either Raw focused or some interpromotional match and that makes for some interesting television. You have Eddie vs. Angle and Cena vs. Big Show (which isn’t really a major match), meaning TV can be laser focused on those two matches. On the other hand you have Raw where all kinds of matches need focus and nothing can really stand out above the rest. The Eddie vs. Angle stuff was good but the rest was pretty weak, as tends to be the case lately.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6