Monday Night Raw – December 27, 2004: Save The Best For Last

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 27, 2004
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final show of a year that wasn’t very good in the first place. We’re coming off the Best of 2004 last week so it’s been a little while since we’ve gotten anything new. The big story is still the build towards the Elimination Chamber at New Year’s Revolution. Other than that, things aren’t the most exciting around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Eric Bischoff announcing the Elimination Chamber. Flair’s “oh s***” look at Batista when he was announced for the Chamber was a great touch that I missed before. It makes sense that they would start there as it’s not like there is anything else going on at the moment.

Here’s Bischoff in the arena to explain the Elimination Chamber. Makes sense as there have only been two of them and we haven’t seen it in over a year. As for tonight, all six participants will be taking part in singles matches against mystery opponents, with the one who wins in the shortest time getting to enter last. If any of them lose, they’re out of the Chamber and replaced by whoever beats them. We’ll call it the Beat The Clock Challenge and Christy Hemme will be timekeeper. Oh and there will be a guest referee for the Chamber, who will be announced later tonight. Works for me.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Chris Jericho vs. Christian

Christian has Tomko with him. Christian goes with a slap to the face and a slap to start so Jericho tries the fast pins which never work in a match like this. A sunset flip from Christian sets up a pinfall reversal sequence but the Walls are countered into a small package for two more. Some right hands in the corner have Jericho in more trouble and we hit the chinlock, which goes through a few forms.

Jericho gets sent to the apron but he backdrops Christian over, with Christian landing face first on the floor in a nasty crash. We’re not done yet though as Jericho springboards onto both villains as we take a break. Back with Jericho hitting a crossbody for two, followed by Tomko getting in a cheap shot to give Christian the same. Jericho has had it with Tomko and dropkicks him down before reversing Christian’s rollup into the Walls for the win at 10:47.

Rating: C+. Good match here but you have to expect that from the two of them. It was nice to have some stakes in the match though and the idea that Christian could get in made it better. The time thing is something that can work quite well and makes the matches later on mean something, so at least we’re off to a nice start.

Ric Flair tries to calm HHH down while Batista doesn’t care who he’s facing tonight. The question is why HHH isn’t confident. HHH tries to talk his way out of it and bets $100 that he beats Batista’s time. Flair intervenes again and makes it clear that this is all about HHH, though Batista doesn’t seem phased.

Randy Orton is excited to go into the Chamber since he was able to challenge for the World Title. And they wonder why the face turn didn’t work. His New Year’s resolution is to go to New Year’s Revolution and win the title. Tonight though, he’s winning in the fastest time.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Randy Orton vs. Maven

Christy has changed outfits for the match and the clock is set at 10:47, meaning the countdown clock counts down in a logical move. They lock up to start until Orton hits the dropkick. Maven catches him on top though and sneaks in a poke to the eye, allowing him to shove Orton off the apron. That means a hard ram into the steps and Maven mocks Orton’s pose (with King referring to Orton as the Big O).

The chinlock goes on for a good while until Maven sends him outside. King: “Orton, you cannot win this match out on the floor!” Uh, yeah he can. Orton hits a Russian legsweep into the barricade and the hanging DDT plants Maven back inside. Maven is fine enough to roll through a high crossbody into a rollup for two but it’s the RKO to give Orton the pin at 6:14.

Rating: D+. Not as good of a match as the previous one but Maven isn’t as good as Christian. Orton’s face push still isn’t working, though he’s getting some positive reactions when he’s in the ring. The character just isn’t quite there though and having him not be able to fight for the title for three months was death to the whole thing.

Lita vs. Molly Holly

Non-title. Molly follows Christian’s plan from earlier and slaps Lita in the face. This time works a bit better though as she sends Lita into the corner and grabs a chinlock as JR recaps Lita’s rather up and down year. A monkey flip lets Lita hit some right hands and there’s a headbutt to the ribs for two. Molly misses a charge into the corner and the DDT gives Lita the fast pin.

Post match here’s Snitsky to chase Lita through the crowd and into the back. Lita gets into a room so here’s Bischoff to make Kane vs. Snitsky at New Year’s Revolution.

Simon Dean vs. Rosey

This is fallout from Heat, which either took place last night or two weeks ago depending on if you believe JR or the graphic. Before the match, Simon does the standard YOU’RE ALL FAT stuff. Being called a hog is too much for Rosey, who pulls Simon in to start the beating. For some reason Dean tries a sunset flip, earning himself a big sitdown splash.

Dean gets smart by going after the knee, including wrapping it around the post. The fans don’t like Simon as he works on the knee but Rosey’s comeback gets their attention a bit. It doesn’t go well for Rosey though as the Vader Bomb misses, though Dean decides to go for a slam for some reason. After that falls apart, Rosey grabs Dean’s weightlifting belt and gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: D. What are you expecting here? Dean is a lower card heel and nothing more than that, which is fine for something short like this. Rosey on the other hand looks like a goof who can’t beat someone like Dean, which doesn’t exactly make me care about either guy. Then again, I don’t know how far they’re expecting Dean to go in the first place.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Edge vs. Eugene

The clock is set at 6:14 so Edge jumps him before the bell to start fast. Eugene fights back without even taking off his ring jacket and gets in a hiptoss. Edge gets sent outside so the jacket can come off but the delay lets Edge snap his throat across the top. The chinlock goes on in a rather dumb move, followed by Edge hitting a dropkick for two. It’s back to the reverse chinlock with less than three minutes to go as Edge keeps wasting time. Eugene fights up and hits an electric chair drop, setting up a crisscross. That’s enough for Eugene to head outside and high five some fans as the clock keeps ticking.

Eugene even hides under the ring as the clock continues to tick away. Back in and Eugene tries a Rock Bottom and Stunner but gets reversed into the spear….which sends Eugene to the floor as time expires. The match keeps going though as Eugene could still win and take the spot. Back in and Eugene hits the Stunner for a very delayed two but a running knee hits the buckle. Edge wraps the knee around the post and debuts (I believe) the Edgecator (the Sharpshooter without stepping over) for the win.

Rating: C-. Not too bad here with the clock playing more of a role this time around. Edge getting frustrated and not making the time was a nice twist, even though there was almost no way the change was coming here. The Beat the Clock thing has worked so far as it’s adding in some drama, which is a lot better than building momentum matches.

Bischoff is on the phone and is glad that someone will make it here tonight. Coach comes in and gives Bischoff his Christmas present: some Coach sunglasses. The call was from the guest referee but Coach doesn’t get to know who it was in advance.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Chris Benoit vs. Viscera

The clock is still at 6:14. Viscera shoves him down without much effort to start as JR and King have no idea how Benoit can pull this off. Benoit gets smart by going after the legs so Viscera runs him over again. That’s fine with Benoit, who tries the chops but walks into a spinwheel kick. Viscera mounts Benoit on the mat for some shots to the face in a rather disturbing image.

A Samoan drop crushes Benoit again and the Crossface attempt is easily countered into a side slam. Benoit somehow manages a belly to back suplex and the Crossface (or Crossthroat here) with Viscera waiting a ridiculous forty seconds before tapping (or moving for that matter) to give Benoit the win at 5:43.

Rating: D. What in the world was that ending? Viscera doing his giant thing for most of the match was fine but did HHH even survive that long in the Crossface at Wrestlemania? I’m hoping it was just a clock thing where they needed the time lower, but at least roll over or fight for the escape or something.

Here’s Stacy Keibler to say he hopes we had a great Christmas. 2004 was a great year and thank you for voting her the Babe of the Year. She’ll bend over backwards and forward to make 2005 that much better. Thankfully Muhammad Hassan and Daivari come out to break up this scintillating promo. Daivari throws Stacy out and Hassan rants about Christmas before going into his same standard speech about how prejudiced we all are.

The fans drown him out with a USA chant so Daivari goes up to commentary to yell at JR and King. Hassan joins them as Lawler gets up and threatens Daivari, meaning the fight is on. JR gets knocked down and Jerry gets in Hassan’s face, meaning a New Year’s Revolution match is likely.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Batista vs. Rhyno

The clock is set at 5:43. Batista tells Rhyno to bring it to start and then elbows him in the face. A shoulder goes well for Batista again as Rhyno’s power game is completely outmatched here. Rhyno gets in a quick Gore for two and Batista is right back up with the Batista Bomb. Batista is so confident that he hits a second one for the pin at 3:02.

Rating: D+. Oh yeah they know what they’re doing with Batista. This was a monster style match with Batista shrugging off an established finisher and nearly cutting Benoit’s time in half. I still don’t think it’s fair to blame Orton’s face push on Orton himself but sweet goodness Batista is nailing every single thing about this push.

Video on Tribute to the Troops.

Coach interrupts Bischoff talking to Candice Michelle to say the special referee is here. Bischoff wants to know how Coach knows he’s here if he doesn’t know the referee. Coach says it has to be him but here’s Hassan to interrupt. He doesn’t like JR and King’s anti-Arab American propaganda so we should have a debate. Bischoff says no because JR isn’t a wrestler, so we’ll have…..a debate. The complete lack of a crowd reaction should tell you all you need to know.

New Year’s Revolution rundown.

HHH complains to Flair about Batista, who doesn’t see the problem. Batista says HHH is starting to tick him off and THAT gets the fans’ attention. Flair plays peacekeeper, again.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Shelton Benjamin vs. HHH

Non-title and the clock is set at 3:02. Everyone else in the Chamber is sitting at ringside. Also, is this a fair match for HHH? Maven, Rhyno, Viscera and the Intercontinental Champion? HHH goes right after him to start and sends Benjamin to the floor, with Lawler again incorrectly saying he can’t win out there. A whip into the steps has Shelton in more trouble and HHH hammers away with right hands. There’s the spinebuster for two and we hit the sleeper to keep HHH in control.

A way too early Pedigree attempt is countered so HHH goes back to the sleeper. HHH gets two arm drops but Shelton gets his foot on the rope as it drops the third time. The celebration is on but time expires to anger HHH all over again. Shelton hits a quick Stinger Splash for two as King starts to panic. There’s the Dragon Whip for two more but HHH gets in a spinebuster for the same. Flair offers a distraction so the exploder doesn’t get a count. Shelton gets rid of Flair and the Pedigree gives HHH the pin.

Rating: C. I liked this more than I should have with HHH being aggressive but not being able to seal the deal. Once the clock expired though, fans got more into things as the possibility that HHH might not make it intrigued them quite a bit. Shelton was even protected in the loss, making this quite a nice little piece of business, especially given the short amount of time.

Post match HHH is relieved but Bischoff brings out Shawn Michaels as guest referee for the Chamber so everyone can freak out to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. They kept things moving this week and it made for a much better show. The matches might not have been masterpieces but the clock deal was a nice touch and it offered something a little different for a change. That’s as good as you’re going to get when so much of the roster is tied up in one match and it wound up being a good show to end the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown – December 23, 2004 (Tribute To The Troops): Exactly As Advertised

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 23, 2004
Location: Camp Speicher, Tikrit, Iraq
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It worked the first time so let’s do it again. This is the second annual Tribute to the Troops and since this is in the earlier years, it means they’re actually going to put in a little more effort. The show is outside in Iraq, meaning it’s going to be a bit warm. We even have a big match announced this time around with Undertaker vs. Heidenreich. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Vince McMahon to get things going. Vince talks about how the wrestlers have volunteered to come back for the volunteer military because they want to say thank you. They’ve come over here to boost the military’s spirit but it’s been the opposite because the soldiers are that inspiring.

Back home all you hear are all the negatives from Iraq and all the progress they’ve made around here. When he gets back to America, he’ll be telling some of those negative media personalities where they can go. For now though, on with the show, including Lilian Garcia as the attractive Mrs. Claus style ring announcer. Vince: “TEN HUT! I’ve always wanted to say that.”

Lilian sings the National Anthem, which she knocks out of the park as always.

Video on the roster arriving.

Rene Dupree vs. Booker T.

Expect to see a lot of America vs. foreigner matches tonight. The announcers are all over Dupree with the anti-French jokes because if you disagree with anything the military does, you’re a horrible stupid person. Feeling out process to start as the announcers list off a bunch of military personnel who made this possible.

Booker hits some hiptosses and a clothesline to take over as the fans are very into the raise the roof pose. I mean, that’s a few years old but points for trying at least. Dupree avoids a charge in the corner and drops an elbow setting up the French Tickler (Tazz: “IN IRAQ???”). The chinlock goes on for a few seconds with Booker popping up and hitting the flapjack. A Spinarooni into the ax kick gives Booker the pin.

Rating: D+. These matches are going to be on a sliding scale here as there is no point to suggest that the wrestling is what matters. Having the American beat the foreigner is as old hat as you can get on a show like this and that’s perfectly fine. Booker is someone who can fire up a crowd so this was a good choice for the opener.

A solider talks about getting to go home to see her husband.

Wrestlers meet troops and think Iraq isn’t as bad as it seems. They were even under fire at one point and we see a piece of a mortar that hit them. That’s enough to make them honorary Steel Tigers and they get a coin.

Here’s Santa Claus, who seems to be looking a little hardcore legendish this year. It might not be Christmas yet but he’s making a special trip here. As luck would have it, he brings out some WWE Divas to help him. That would be Torrie Wilson, Dawn Marie and Jackie Gayda, who seem to be rather popular. Lilian joins them in the ring and they throw out presents to the crowd.

They include in some hugs as a bonus but Santa invites them back inside. He has a gift for all of them in the bag, which of course would be lingerie. Well actually Dawn gets a half empty bottle of Gatorade. Santa: “Santa developed quite a thirst and felt the need to quench it.” The catfight is on and Dawn is sent outside. Torrie thinks something is up and realizes that Santa is in fact Mick Foley. The voice, the hunched walk, the being 6’4 and BEING SANTA CLAUS didn’t give that away?

We see a soldier reenlisting.

A soldier misses her family.

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

No Heyman here with Heidenreich and no hat/coat/slowness for Undertaker. The smoke does come up though, which is kind of a weird visual without everything else. Undertaker slugs away to start and takes over without too much trouble. Could it be because he’s facing Heidenreich? Old School into a reverse DDT gives Undertaker two and it’s already time for a breather. A slugout on the floor goes to Undertaker and there’s the apron legdrop.

Back in and Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is countered with a swinging Boss Man Slam to give Heidenreich his own two. Heidenreich hammers away so Undertaker does the same, followed by the jumping clothesline for two more. Now Snake Eyes into the big boot connects and it’s a legdrop to make things even worse for Heidenreich. The soldiers want a Tombstone but settle for a broken up chokeslam so Heidenreich can bail to the floor and take the countout.

Rating: D. Good grief how is this feud continuing??? Does WWE really think that much of Heidenreich that they need to keep going with him here? His matches are terrible and his promos are far from anything special, but we get to see these two fight AGAIN because WWE can’t just let something go.

A soldier misses his newborn son. He gets to come home n Christmas Day though, which is a surprise to his wife.

Wrestlers talk about how awesome the trip has been.

More clips of the wrestlers doing military stuff. There isn’t much to say on these things as they’re just meeting troops and shots of events and equipment. The wrestlers want to come back.

Booker T. and some soldiers wish us a five time Merry Christmas.

Before the show, a General thanked the troops.

The same General thanked the wrestlers and gave them a special coin. Seeing Undertaker in street clothes is still bizarre.

Hardcore Holly vs. Kenzo Suzuki

I can’t complain about the repetitive formula here. Suzuki is wrestling barefoot here and hits an early hiptoss. Holly isn’t having that and chops Suzuki in the corner until a hot shot puts Holly in trouble. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Holly fights up and hits the dropkick. Holly’s top rope clothesline sets up the Alabama Slam for the fast pin.

Another soldier says hi and misses his family.

Video on the arena being set up. Some of the soldiers got to mess around in the ring for a bonus.

Here’s JBL in the Hummer, now with longhorns. JBL however is in a hazmat suit because….well because he’s a hard guy to figure out. After popping up the mask on the suit, he complains about the conditions here, including saying that the food has no exit strategy and the toilet paper is rather abrasive. JBL talks about how good things happens when he comes over here but he’s getting tired of bringing the good luck. Oh and where is the booze? We could call this place Rehabistan.

He’s happy to be our American hero and knows the fans want to chant his name. This time though, just whisper it so the enemy doesn’t know where they are. JBL leaves, promising to see us when the next war starts somewhere else. Cue Big Show to say he doesn’t like JBL making this all about himself. Show makes fun of the suit and knocks JBL to the floor with a right hand. As usual, when JBL is being over the top and goofy, he’s all kinds of fun.

Video on last year’s Tribute to the Troops and the thought process in setting this up.

Wrestlers, troops, troops, wrestlers.

Kurt Angle/Luther Reigns vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio

Call me crazy, but having Kurt Angle, the American hero, as the face might not work on this show. Angle tries to explain why he doesn’t such but Eddie cuts him off. Eddie and Rey drive out in a Hummer, with Tazz thinking Eddie stole it. Rey even has a camouflage mask. Rey and Angle start things off with Kurt easily taking him down and working on the arm. An armdrag into an armbar keeps Rey down for a bit and it’s Reigns coming in for a backbreaker.

Angle’s snap suplex gets two and Reigns hits another backbreaker for two of his own. Rey finally spins out and hits a tornado DDT to drop Reigns, setting up the hot tag to Eddie. The rope walk headscissors/wristdrag take the villains down but Angle reverses Three Amigos into the ankle lock. That’s broken up in a hurry but Reigns breaks up the 619. Eddie takes Angle down and now the 619 hits Reigns. The frog splash gets two with Angle making the save so Eddie sends him outside. Rey Drops The Dime to finish Reigns.

Rating: C+. Not a bad main event here with the three best guys doing everything they could and Reigns getting in his stuff at the right times. Much like the rest of the show, the wrestling wasn’t the point here but at least we got a good match out of it. That’s pretty impressive when they only had six minutes.

One more video of the wrestlers with the troops wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C+. I’m not sure what to say on this one. The whole point was about making the troops feel important with some wrestling included. They did that to the letter but the wrestling was just there for the most part. To be fair though, that’s exactly what you knew was coming. It’s exactly what it’s supposed to be and while it might not mean much, it was a cool thing to do and the show flew by.

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Monday Night Raw – December 20, 2004 (Best Of 2004): I Never Know How To Rate These Things

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 20, 2004
Hosts: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

We’re near the end of the year and that means it’s time for a special episode. This is the Best Of 2004, which means that we’ll be seeing matches and moments from Raw and pay per views, which could make for a rather eventful evening. If nothing else it’s going to make for a shorter show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

These will likely be clipped versions of the matches but for the sake of simplicity, I’ll be including the full versions.

From Raw, November 22.

We open in the locker room with Shelton getting ready for his match when Trish Stratus comes in wearing a towel. She asks where he’s off to looking so pretty. That would be a six man tag because William Regal and Tajiri need him. Trish asks about her needs but Shelton thinks she’ll find someone else. An aghast Vince McMahon comes in and freaks out because it’s a woman in a towel. It’s scandalous because the moral fabric of America is being pulled apart by the sexual and racial overtones. Shelton: “EXCUSE ME?”

Vince: “Well Shelton, you may not realize this but you’re an African American. And everyone knows that African Americans are attracted to attractive white Canadian women with broken noses!” Vince goes on a rant about how this isn’t the NFL or the NBA where such actions could send Shelton into the audience in a violent rage. Shelton tells Vince to lighten up and the towel comes down as the Monday Night Football theme plays. Vince can’t kiss her because of the nose guard so he looks to the camera and asks if we’re ready for some wrestling.

So for those of you who weren’t watching American television in 2004, there was a Desperate Housewives vignette that aired before a Monday Night Football game, featuring Nicolette Sheridan and Terrell Owens doing the same thing. This was treated as the biggest disgrace in the history of television with people freaking out over a WOMAN IN A TOWEL (ok it was more her dropping the towel). It was stupid and completely overblown, though this opening has always been one of my favorites. Vince informing Shelton that he’s African American cracks me up every time as Shelton just looks lost.

Lawler and Coach welcome us to the show explaining the basic idea, which shouldn’t take more than about ten seconds.

From Wrestlemania XX.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho wastes no time by punching him in the jaw and adding a clothesline for a bonus. A backdrop puts Christian on the floor and Jericho follows him out with a springboard dive. Back in and Christian backdrops him over the top and the big crash has Jericho in trouble for the first time. Back in and Christian cranks on the neck, followed by a chinlock for a change of pace.

A spinwheel kick gives Christian two but they ram heads to knock each other down. An exchange of rollups with an exchange of cheating get two each so Jericho goes with the bulldog. The Lionsault hits knees though and Christian grabs a backbreaker for two of his own. Christian grabs a Texas Cloverleaf to work on Jericho’s recently injured knee, which the announcers don’t actually mention.

That’s one of the reasons I was looking forward to watching this show with the TV beforehand. The Cloverleaf makes more sense when you know Jericho is coming in with a recent injury, but the commentators don’t bother mentioning it here, making the Cloverleaf seem a bit random. Jericho slips out and sends Christian to the floor, followed by a butterfly superplex for a delayed two. I believe there was a botched attempt that has been edited out of the Network version.

They’re both down so here’s Trish, with Lawler saying she can make jogging a spectator sport. An implant DDT gives Christian two and he drags Trish inside. Jericho makes the save and checks on her but Trish accidentally elbows him in the face. Christian’s rollup gives him the surprise pin.

Rating: B. This whole story has always been one of my favorites so it’s cool to see the match be a good one. It’s certainly no classic but Christian winning was the right call and the story can move forward from here. Both guys have gotten something out of this story and Trish is advancing as well. Good match, easily the best thing on the card so far.

Post match Trish apologizes to Jericho as Christian runs back in. Trish tries to hold Jericho back and then slaps him in the face over and over, morphing into Evil Trish (works for me), allowing Christian to hit the Unprettier. Christian and Trish leave but stop to kiss on the stage. This worked for everyone, especially Trish who works far better in this role.

Coach is asking Lawler to act more professionally, which takes us to a look at Eugene. Thankfully the HHH feud is mostly ignored.

We look at Shelton Benjamin’s true life stories, which are a great way to build up some sympathy for him.

From Raw, March 29.

Shelton Benjamin vs. HHH

Shelton now has his own generic rock music. HHH takes him into the corner to start and offers a polite slap to the face for the break. Shelton easily wrestles him down twice in a row, with a little slap of his own after the second. A shoulder drops Shelton but he pops up before HHH can even try the knee drop. The Pedigree is escaped but HHH says it was that close. A backslide gives Shelton a very close two and he does the “that close” gesture right back to HHH (which was in Shelton’s Titantron video for a long time).

HHH chops away in the corner as the fans remind HHH that he tapped out. The dragon whip gives Benjamin two and it’s off to an armbar. Cue Flair to back HHH up but Benoit follows him out and we take a break. Back with Shelton holding another armbar until HHH sends him in for the jumping knee. Shelton goes shoulder first into the post twice in a row and you can hear the relief in Lawler’s voice.

Right hands and the knee drop give HHH two and it’s time for the sleeper. You can hear Benoit playing cheerleader (there’s an image) until Shelton sends HHH face first into the buckle for the break. A jumping back elbow puts HHH down as he just can’t put Shelton away. Lawler is starting to panic a bit but HHH suplexing his way out of a sleeper calms him down a bit.

HHH dives into some raised boots (still the least believable spot in wrestling) and falls to the floor, allowing Shelton to hit a clothesline from the apron. The top rope clothesline gets two back inside and a powerslam is good for the same. A Pedigree attempt is countered into a jackknife cover for two more but Flair gets in a cheap shot. Benoit goes after Flair to distract HHH and it’s a Stinger Splash into a rollup to give Shelton the big upset.

Rating: B. So he won’t work Tuesdays but he’ll do the job on Mondays. This is the way you make someone look like a star and that’s exactly what they did here. Shelton is a great choice for a major push and it’s not like HHH is going to lose anything by putting him over here. It was even mostly clean with HHH getting distracted on his own and not being able to put Shelton away earlier. They did a good job here at making Shelton look good here though and that’s the right idea.

Video on Tribute to the Troops.

We look at the Kane and Lita wedding.

Quick look at Gene Snitsky costing Lita her baby and Kane turning face again, because everything can be forgiven that simply.

From Taboo Tuesday.

Kane vs. Snitsky

They need a legal weapon, so here are the results:

Chain – 41%

Chair – 30%

Lead Pipe – 29%

Kind of weird as the chair and pipe have been used while the chain hasn’t been a factor at all. Lita actually comes out with Kane as the slow face turn continues. They get in an early tug of war over the chain, which Kane throws outside. Right hands in the corner have Snitsky in early trouble and the threat of a chokeslam sends him outside. Now we can have the chain but Snitsky takes it away, only to get caught with an uppercut.

Snitsky uses the chain to pull Kane into the post and it’s time to choke with the chain inside. Kane’s comeback is cut off with elbows and clotheslines. Some whips with the chain set up a choke, which just seems to annoy Kane more than anything else. Back up and Kane slugs away with a big boot giving us a double knockdown.

Snitsky is up first and goes for the chain but Lita takes it away. The chokeslam is broken up with right hands so Kane sends him over the top. A dropkick to the steps sends them into Kane’s knees and there’s a chair to his throat. Choking with the chair keeps Kane down and Snitsky actually Pillmanizes his throat. Kane is bleeding from the mouth but Snitsky, being a good monster, covers him anyway before the medics can come in to help.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was your usual garbage brawling but the point here is how awesome Snitsky is getting over as a monster. I know he has a very firm ceiling above him, but it’s nice to see them actually getting someone over. Raw has needed fresh blood for a long time now and Snitsky is certainly better than nothing.

The medics take their time helping Kane as Lita actually looks concerned. Snitsky continues being awesome by turning the stretcher over on the stage.

Last week, Lita promised Snitsky that Kane is coming back.

Video on Chris Benoit’s rise to the main event.

From Wrestlemania XX.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Chris Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels

HHH is defending and wearing white boots for a really weird look. We don’t get Big Match Intros but we do have a weapons check. The fans are behind Benoit here, to the surprise of no one paying attention. Benoit goes after both of them to start but Shawn wants to beat on HHH. A way too early Crossface attempt doesn’t work on Shawn, who is sent into HHH to knock the champ outside. The second Crossface attempt is countered into a rollup for two but HHH is back in to clothesline Michaels.

Now it’s Benoit being sent outside so Shawn and HHH can have their big showdown. That doesn’t last long (you save the big stuff for later) as HHH goes outside to drive Benoit into the barricade. Shawn is right up with a moonsault onto the two of them for a big crash. Back in and HHH hits the facebuster on Shawn but Benoit breaks up the Pedigree. Shawn goes shoulder first into the post, again leaving us with two instead of the three.

Benoit can’t get a belly to back superplex as HHH pulls him down into the Tree of Woe and whips Shawn into him for a near fall of his own. HHH gets sent into him as well for the same two but Benoit gets free for the rolling German suplexes. Michaels is right there to break up the Swan dive though, only to eat a DDT from HHH. With Shawn on the floor, HHH pulls Benoit off the top and hammers away.

That’s reversed into a Crossface with Shawn diving in for a save. Shawn tries his own rolling German suplexes on Benoit and I’ll let you guess how that goes. After Shawn bounces off the mat from Benoit’s third straight German suplex, the Swan Dive connects for two. Shawn forearms Benoit to the floor and nips up for the fight against HHH. The champ gets knocked down for the top rope elbow and Sweet Chin Music connects.

Benoit is right there to pull HHH to the floor of course and he sends Shawn into the post. The busted open Shawn (it wouldn’t feel right otherwise) gets caught in the Crossface so HHH grabs his hand to prevent the tap out. Benoit beats up HHH on the floor but gets sent into the steps. HHH loads up the announcers’ table and Shawn joins him to double suplex Benoit through the table. NOW we get the big Shawn vs. HHH showdown and it lasts all of fifteen seconds with Shawn whipping HHH over the corner and back outside.

Back in and HHH (also bleeding) hits a quick Pedigree but can’t cover. Benoit dives in for a last second save and all three are down. A Pedigree to Benoit is reversed into a Sharpshooter in the middle of the ring so it’s Shawn coming back in with more Sweet Chin Music. That’s only good for two so Shawn tries it again, only to be sent to the floor. The Pedigree is countered into the Crossface and Benoit rolls him into the middle for the tap and the title.

Rating: A+. I never realized how much the Wrestlemania XXX match copied this one, down to the big double team through the table, the technical star who had worked forever to get here and winning with a very similar hold, plus other things I’m probably overlooking. Anyway, there isn’t much to say here as the match speaks for itself. It’s long in the right way, the near falls were great, the work and visuals were incredible and the right guy won. I’m sure you’ve seen this one at least once and if you haven’t, find the time to sit down and watch Benoit’s crowning achievement.

Benoit is in tears as Eddie comes out for the big celebration. Confetti falls (another Wrestlemania XXX scene) and JR has almost lost his voice shouting about how amazing this was. The ending is a spectacular visual and what should have been one of the most memorable moments ever.

Quick look at This Is Your Life Mick Foley.

Video on the Diva Search. My goodness they won’t let this go.

Christy joins Coach and Lawler and rubs King’s chest. They go off camera together with Christy saying she wants his bod. That would be a body spray you see.

From Raw, December 6.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is defending and Lita looks very happy to be in her hometown. They lock up to start and fall to the floor as JR gets on Lawler for worrying about Trish’s nose. JR: “We’ll have a parade for her next week.” Back in and Lita knocks her to the floor, setting up the suicide dive with Lita landing on her head and thankfully not dying. A shot with the mask gives Trish two and JR goes off on Lawler again, this time for being glad to see Trish’s face. Trish pulls her up for the choke in the corner until Lita snapmares her way out.

The sleeper is broken up though and we hit the seated full nelson. Lita fights up and catches Trish on top, meaning it’s a top rope superplex for the double knockdown. The delayed cover gets two and Trish is right back with a kick to the head. Right hands in the corner are countered with a powerbomb but Trish grabs the rope to block the snap DDT. Stratusfaction is countered into the reverse Twist of Fate and the moonsault gives Lita the pin and the title for her first reign in four years.

Rating: B. There was a great energy here and the fans wanted to see Lita FINALLY beat Trish and take the title. That’s because they spent time setting this story up and it made the payoff that much better. It’s a big deal and felt like an important moment because WWE treated it like an important moment. This was the main event of the show and that’s not something you saw very often at this point.

Video on Randy Orton being thrown out of Evolution.

Video on the rise of Batista.

From Survivor Series.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Batista, Gene Snitsky, Edge

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

There’s no Maven to start and Ric Flair is at ringside to make it 5-3. Benoit gets aggressive with Edge in the corner to start and elbows him in the face to take over. That’s enough to bring in Snitsky and Orton, which is quite the strange looking showdown. Their slugout doesn’t last long and it’s off to Jericho vs. HHH to keep up the alternating matchups. Orton is right back in to hammer on HHH with Flair panicking about HHH taking such a beating.

The jumping knee to the face gets HHH out of trouble and it’s Batista hitting his powerslam for two. Edge comes in and gets sent into the corner, allowing the quick tag to Benoit, who beats up everyone in short order. The rolling German suplexes have HHH in trouble and Benoit suplexes Edge onto him. A double Swan Dive gets two with Snitsky having to make a save.

The Sharpshooter has HHH In trouble but Snitsky makes another save. That’s enough for HHH to hit a quick Pedigree so Edge can pin Benoit for the first elimination. Jericho comes in next and gets taken down by a neckbreaker but HHH and Snitsky gets in a shouting match. HHH gets shoved down so Batista comes in to go nose to nose with Snitsky. Batista realizes what’s going on and breaks up the Walls on HHH.

Flair gets caught breaking up the Walls again and that means an ejection. With the referee taking care of Flair, Batista blasts Jericho and Orton with a double clothesline. Orton breaks up the big clothesline to Jericho with a belt shot and it’s a running enziguri to eliminate Batista. That’s not it for Batista to leave in peace though so he blasts Jericho with the big clothesline and then heads out. Snitsky comes in for stomping and choking instead of covering because he’s new at this. It’s off to Edge, who gets taken down with a sleeper drop but Snitsky breaks up the hot tag attempt. Everything breaks down again but here’s a bandaged up Maven to come in and go after Snitsky.

Maven’s middle rope bulldog takes HHH down but Snitsky caves his head in with a chair shot that would get him tossed out of the building today. Here it’s just a DQ, though HHH pins Maven with no trouble a second later. We’re down to HHH/Edge vs. Orton/Jericho with Jericho slipping out of the Pedigree but getting speared down for two. HHH and Edge smile down at Orton, who says bring it on.

The double stomping is on with Edge stomping away and handing it off to HHH, with JR losing his mind that Edge won’t get out of the ring. HHH’s DDT gets two and he argues with the referee, allowing Orton to roll him up for two. Edge comes in and accidentally spears HHH to give Orton the easy pin. We’re down to HHH vs. Orton with the former starting fast with a low blow. Orton gets up again and counters the Pedigree into the RKO for the pin. The Orton vs. HHH part was barely a minute and a half long.

Rating: B-. Perfectly watchable match here with Snitsky still being protected and Maven still being Maven. Other than that they’ve done a good job of making Orton look like a threat to the title, but the two Canadians are just kind of there with little reason to believe that they’re going to be a threat t o the title. That leaves us waiting until probably the Royal Rumble for a new challenger, meaning it’s time for winter vacation without missing any time from the show.

Last week’s announcement of the Elimination Chamber at New Year’s Revolution wraps things up.

Overall Rating: C. I never know how to rate these things as it’s not like the original content is anything more than a bridge between the clips. They covered almost every big moment on the show this year, though some of the stuff was rather random (Christian vs. Jericho from Wrestlemania but not Rock/Foley vs. Evolution?). A Smackdown version would be nice, but something like Tribute to the Troops is hard to top. This was every best of show you could ask for and it’s back to normal next week.

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Smackdown – December 16, 2004: It Hasn’t Been That Bad

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 16, 2004
Location: Gaylord Entertainment Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re done with Armageddon so now it’s time to get to the Royal Rumble, but before that we have the real important thing to get through: the finals of Tough Enough. Normally I would say the competition hasn’t been that bad, but some of the last few weeks have been such a mess that I can’t bring myself to go there. At least it’s wrapping up though and we can get back to something better. Like JBL. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Orlando Jordan to welcome JBL to the ring. It’s a special introduction this week with the limo decked out in bunting and JBL standing on top with Amy Weber, who is helped down by the Bashams. Naturally we get the red, white and blue balloons and confetti falling because that’s the kind of thing JBL would do. JBL talks about some great moments in American history, such as the end of the Great Depression and Ronald Reagan tearing down the Berlin Wall.

Those are the kind of moments that were joined by him defeating three challengers on Sunday, despite a General Manager being so biased and corrupt against him. How many people here bought a ticket to see a new champion here tonight? That’s ok, because he has a Christmas gift for Amy. That would be a tiara, followed by JBL starting a chant of his own name.

This brings out Kurt Angle of all people and it’s a staredown between Angle and company and the Cabinet. JBL hopes this is so Angle can offer congratulations but Angle is confused. He can’t believe that JBL thinks he’s the greatest champion of all time or that his victory was the greatest title win ever. Angle: “Are you out of your freaking mind?”

JBL wants his congratulations and an exit from Angle but instead it’s Kurt saying that HE is the greatest champion of all time. Like when he beat Steve Austin, the Rock, Rikishi, Undertaker and HHH inside the Cell at Armageddon 2000. Angle: “I INVENTED the over the top championship celebrations bucko!” JBL: “You didn’t just call me bucko.” Angle affirms that he did call him bucko, bucko. JBL says the Cell match was four years ago, but this year he lost a 3-1 match to Big Show.

That doesn’t matter because Angle could beat JBL without breaking a sweat BUCKO. JBL accepts a title challenge…but not for tonight. He implies that Amy wore him out after he retained the title so it’s vacation time for the rest of the year. This brings out Theodore Long to say he’ll make decisions about title matches. Therefore tonight, Angle vs. JBL is happening and the title is on the line. I’m sure Big Show is thrilled about this as WWE basically admits that Armageddon meant nothing.

Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Akio/Billy Kidman

Non-title. Rey and Kidman start (good idea) with Mysterio getting taken into the corner and stomped down. That’s fine with Rey, who comes back with some kicks to Akio’s legs but it’s too early for the 619. Instead Rey is sent outside and knocked off the apron so Kidman can get in a great dropkick on the floor.

Rey fights out of a chinlock and grabs a reverse neckbreaker but spins around into a faceplant for a move I haven’t seen before. Rob comes in to start clotheslining away, setting up Rolling Thunder for two. A monkey flip sends Kidman into the middle of the ring for a basement dropkick but Akio takes Rey to the floor. The BK Bomb plants Rob but Rey comes back in to break up the shooting star. The Five Star finishes Kidman.

Rating: C. This is the kind of match that the show could benefit from. Kidman and Akio aren’t going to be a regular team and they’re not the next big thing but it’s cool to see them thrown together in a one off match like this for a fresh option. It’s not a bad little match either, which is always a plus.

Here’s Torrie Wilson in a rather revealing Uncle Sam outfit. She’s proud of having helped entertain the troops last year and she’ll be doing it again next week. This was just an excuse for Torrie to be in the outfit.

The announcers talk about Tribute to the Troops when Heidenreich raids commentary. With Michael Cole running away (makes sense), Heidenreich puts a chair in the ring and reads a poem about wanting to replace Undertaker. Can we please find something better for Undertaker to do already???

Eddie Guerrero say they’re on the same page when another new woman named Lauren comes up. Booker hits on her and Eddie makes fun of him as she leaves. Eddie is ready to have a singles match next week for Tribute to the Troops, nearly triggering a fight. That might have been the most random cameo I’ve seen in years.

Michelle McCool says Theodore Long is meditating and can’t see Orlando Jordan. She slams the door in his face so here’s Luther Reigns to talk about hoe great Kurt Angle is. They go back and forth over how awesome their bosses are, down to Angle is nice to animals and JBL gives to charity. JBL offering medical care gets Reigns’ attention but he gets back to his normal arguments. All this did was show how lame both guys’ lackeys are.

Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree vs. Eddie Guerrero/Booker T.

Booker and Rene start slowly as Tazz can’t remember what kind of warrior Kenzo is. Eddie comes in and gets elbowed in the face as Booker is facing the crowd for some reason. Some stomping in the corner has Rene in trouble with some blood coming from the nose. Booker comes in and kicks Kenzo in the face for two as the announcers talk about anything but the match. The fast tagging continues with Booker sending Kenzo outside as we take a very abrupt break.

Back with Kenzo still in trouble until a tag to Rene lets him get beaten up instead. A cheap shot lets Rene take over on Booker though and it’s Kenzo grabbing the nerve hold. That’s broken up and Booker hits a nice flapjack to drop Rene face first. That’s enough for the hot tag to Eddie so the pace can pick up but Kenzo blocks the third Amigo. Everything breaks down and it’s a Book End to Suzuki. Hiroko’s kendo stick interference is broken up so it’s an ax kick to set up the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C-. Kind of sloppy at times here but it’s nice to see Kenzo and Dupree going away already. There isn’t anything special to them and getting them out of the title picture is the best thing that can happen for everyone involved. They’re fine as jobbers and little more, but having them as champions for two months was a chore. Eddie and Booker don’t seem like a long term solution, but at least they had a watchable match.

JBL is fine with Jordan not getting the match called off. He’s not happy with getting to go wrestle in the Middle East next week though and backtracks in a hurry. Carlito comes in and suggests they get together to deal with Theodore Long. JBL is interested.

And now, here’s the full John Cena vs. Jesus match from the pay per view, complete with black and white shots when Jesus was bleeding. For the sake of filling in some space:

US Title: John Cena vs. Jesus

Cena is defending and it’s a street fight with falls counting anywhere. Just to rub in the awful of this show, Cena debuts the spinner US Title design which would beget the most annoying title in wrestling history. Jesus, still carrying Cena’s chain, and Carlito mock Cena’s kidney injury because they’re not that bright. Cena starts before the bell and hits one of the longest strings of punches I can remember to knock Jesus silly early on.

Carlito slips Jesus a kendo stick for a shot to the bad kidney but Cena takes it away and beats on Jesus even more. The stick is broken over Jesus’ arm and Cena glares Carlito up the ramp. A busted open Jesus is kicked into the crowd and Cena knocks him around the arena as this is completely one sided. Carlito runs back in for a cheap shot to save Jesus from being thrown off a balcony but Cena doesn’t seem to mind. The beating takes Jesus back to ringside and some metal shots to the head make things even worse. The FU finishes Jesus in a complete squash.

Rating: D. This was a squash that just happened to go about eight minutes. It was smart to have Cena pushed this hard because it’s not like anyone was buying Jesus as a threat to the title at all. After a performance like that, there is no way you can hold him back from the main event much longer and I think WWE knows it. This was it for Jesus too, as there wasn’t much you could do with him at the moment without a big repackaging.

Here’s Al Snow for the Tough Enough finale. Daniel Puder and Mike Mizanin come out and Puder is announced as the winner, which should have been the case given how much charisma he showed. Nearly making Angle tap on TV helped too. Puder talks about how hard he trained to get here and he isn’t done yet. Snow has another surprise: Puder is officially in the Royal Rumble. That comes off as an actual surprise as Puder looks stunned. Mizanin doesn’t get to say anything, but he does congratulate Puder on his win.

Angle rants about the state of American sports today and says America needs him. Reigns hints at Angle giving him healthcare for a back injury but Angle shouts him down instead.

Theodore Long is on commentary for the main event but first he has an announcement: next week it’s Heidenreich vs. Undertaker.

Here’s Joy Giovanni in a rather nice Santa outfit to throw candy canes to the crowd.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is challenging. JBL accepts a candy cane from Joy and Amy doesn’t like it, meaning the catfight is on with both of them losing their tops. Joy runs when Reigns gets too close and everyone is ejected for the sake of some sanity. We take a break and come back joined in progress with JBL giving us a clean break out of the corner. Angle takes over on the arm until a right hand takes care of that.

A belly to belly works a bit better for Angle but JBL runs him over and drops three straight elbows for two. The chinlock goes on for all of a few seconds before Angle escapes into the ankle lock. That’s enough to send JBL to the ropes and then the floor, with Angle being whipped into the steps. Back from a break with JBL shouldering Angle down again and grabbing an armbar of his own.

That’s broken up so JBL grabs a powerslam, which is countered into a reverse DDT for a double knockdown. JBL gets in the fall away slam but the Clothesline From JBL is countered into the rolling German suplexes. The ankle lock goes on so JBL kicks away, setting up the Angle Slam for two.

JBL pulls Angle down by the bad shoulder but a powerbomb is countered into another ankle lock. Cue the Bashams/Reigns/Jindrak for the brawl on the floor as JBL taps but the referee is distracted. Jordan comes in with the belt shot for a close two and Angle grabs the ankle lock again. This time Jordan comes in for the DQ to save the title.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t a bad match at all with both guys looking pretty good, even with the obvious ending taking place. JBL’s matches continue to be pretty decent most of the time, but that doesn’t make him the most exciting champion in the world. This is likely going to set up the Royal Rumble title match, though it’s going to need a little more.

Post match Big Show runs in to clean house and motion that he wants the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It was a pretty tame show this week with that Cena vs. Jesus match in the middle being rather weird. Maybe Cena went ahead overseas and wasn’t available for the show? Anyway, the rest of the show wasn’t terrible, but it was also nothing very interesting. At least Tough Enough went by quickly and didn’t take up a lot of time. We’re starting to gear up for the Rumble though and that’s the best thing that can happen to the company at the moment. Not a very good show this week, but they at least have a direction for the time being.

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Monday Night Raw – December 13, 2004: Hurry Up And Wait

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 13, 2004
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The year is starting to come to a close and Eric Bischoff is back to run things again. This time around that means we need a solution to the World Title being vacated, which should mean some kind of big gimmick match for the January’s pay per view. That would be the regular January show and not the Royal Rumble, because January suddenly needs to pay per views. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Eric Bischoff with the World Title to get things going. Bischoff recaps all the changes since he went on vacation and then gets into the meat of things. Two weeks ago, both Chris Benoit and Edge got a fall at the same time, but traditionally a tie goes to the champion. That would be HHH, so all three are standing in the back watching intently. HHH says no one beat him, clearly not understanding how triple threats work.

That starts an argument with Benoit so Edge says this is how it always goes. Edge has had it with waiting and the fight is on. Bischoff has had it and makes HHH/Batista vs. Chris Jericho/Chris Benoit. As for Edge, he can fight Randy Orton RIGHT NOW. The decision on the title can come later tonight. I think you can guess what it is based on the people put in those two matches, but let’s wait a little longer.

Edge vs. Randy Orton

The fans remind Edge that he tapped out and he’s so shaken up that Orton can shove him into the corner. They go with some amateur stuff in a bit of a surprise, followed by an exchange of missed dropkicks for a standoff. Orton goes with the hard clothesline to put Edge on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Orton grabbing a chinlock (he does love his chinlocks) for a bit until Edge gets a foot on the rope. You don’t see that as a counter to a chinlock very often but you don’t often see a heel in one for that long either. Edge gets up and baseball slides him to the floor, followed by a spear off the apron. Back in and the chinlock with a bodyscissors goes on with Orton taking his sweet time getting up.

A crossbody gives Orton two and they’re both down again (that’s happened a lot in this one). It’s Edge up first but Orton dropkicks him out of the air, followed by the backbreaker for two. The Edge-O-Matic gives Edge two of his own and it’s time to yell at the referee. Orton snaps off the powerslam but misses the high crossbody. The spear misses as well and it’s the RKO to finish Edge.

Rating: C+. Good match, but you could cut off the first ten minutes and not miss anything. These two like to go for the big epic match and it really doesn’t work all that well. Edge losing again doesn’t exactly help his case for the World Title, but we have to keep Orton hot for his title push….whenever that actually happens again.

Ric Flair lists off HHH’s accomplishments so HHH can convince Bischoff to make him champion again. Violence is threatened but here’s Batista to say that’s a bad idea. Batista wants HHH to play the game properly and show Bischoff instead of telling him. When they win tonight, Bischoff will know who the real champion is.

Christy, Melina and Maria are here with a t-shirt gun. After the announcers recap the opening sequence, here’s Gene Snitsky to interrupt, with Melina taking a few extra moments to notice him. Since no one will give him a match around here, he’d rather come out here and play with the t-shirt gun….and dance? Thankfully he reverts to monster form by grabbing Christy by the throat, because he has fun when someone is suffering.

This brings out Lita, who says Snitsky must feel like a big man right now. Despite everything Snitsky did to her, Lita is the Women’s Champion. Uh, he did like one thing to you. Anyway, Kane is coming back to deal with Snitsky. The complete non-reaction to that announcement is rather telling. Snitsky goes after Lita, who escaped behind a wall of fire.

Christian rants about Chris Jericho making him dress like a superhero last week while Candice Michelle does his makeup. Eugene comes up and gets on Christian’s nerves by saying Captain Charisma isn’t as good as Aquaman. He even asks for an autograph but gets broken up by a cameo.

Mick Foley of all people pops up and Eugene freaks out because Foley is tied for his four favorite wrestlers. It’s Foley, the Rock (Foley: “That’s a good choice.”), Papa Shango (Foley: “Ok that’s a weird one.”) and Beautiful Bobby Eaton, because he’s from right here in Huntsville, Alabama. Has Eaton ever been mentioned on Raw before? Foley leaves with Eugene, even though he stole his cheap pop. Eugene tells Christian and Tomko to have a nice day, Bang Bang.

Simon Dean is in Eric Bischoff’s office to sign his official Raw contract when Chris Benoit comes in. Dean leaves and Benoit says he worked so hard to get the title. He wants a rematch of the triple threat match for the title but Bischoff says Benoit is already in a tag match. Benoit isn’t happy and says if Bischoff gives the title back to HHH, he’ll just be showing how spineless he really is.

Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho vs. HHH/Batista

Ric Flair is here with Evolution. Benoit slugs away at HHH to start and the loud chops in the corner follow. HHH gets smart by going with the power to drive Benoit into the corner for the boot choke from Batista. It’s off to Jericho who can’t do anything with Batista either so it’s back to HHH for some more first gear grappling. A shoulder and the jumping knee to the face move things up a bit and take Jericho down, followed by a heck of a whip into the corner from Batista.

The chinlock keeps Jericho in trouble and it’s back to HHH for some choking in the corner. A delayed vertical suplex into the knee drop gives HHH one with Benoit making the save. Flair goes after the referee and gets decked by Jericho, sending him into the trademark rage. HHH calms him down though and we take a break.

Back with Benoit hitting a German suplex on HHH but missing the Swan Dive, even with Batista not being able to grab Benoit’s foot in time. HHH whips Benoit back first into the corner for two and it’s off to the abdominal stretch to cause some screaming. The assist from Batista gets HHH caught so he throws some right hands in the corner while calling spots.

HHH’s jump off the middle rope that is designed to land on a raised boot lands on a raised boot, meaning Jericho can come in. Jericho rolls Batista up for two and slips out of the Batista Bomb, setting up an enziguri. The Lionsault connects and HHH is sent to the floor, leaving Benoit to hit the Swan Dive. The Sharpshooter goes on and the saving HHH is pulled into the Crossface. That’s enough of a distraction for Batista to hit the spinebuster for the pin on Benoit.

Rating: B. This was working the formula rather well and Batista is getting better and better every week. His star power is rising as well as he gets sick of HHH, which is only going to mean great things for him. Giving him the pin like that makes things look even better, as HHH isn’t going to be happy.

Here’s Mick Foley for a chat. After all, what would Christmastime be without a Mick Foley book plug? He’s not telling you to buy it or that it’s a great Christmas gift idea though. Actually he’s here to mention that he’s going to be on Smackdown next week, because he’s going to Iraq for the Tribute to the Troops. We get a look at last week’s show and Foley mentions that he still has some John Kerry bumper stickers in his garage. The fans boo and Foley remembers that this is a red state.

Supporting the troops goes beyond political affiliation though and he’s honored to be going over there and entertain the troops. This brings out Muhammad Hassan and Daivari for something that is going to go very badly in a hurry. Hassan talks about blindly supporting the troops and the country, but then 9/11 happened.

People like the two of them are the real victims of the war and none of the people here are real patriots. Why would they support a war that causes the unfair treatment of Arab Americans? Hassan feels the “patriotism” around every airport and right now, though Foley disagrees with almost every word. Foley puts over America as the place where you can say any stupid views you want so Hassan calls Americans infidels. That’s too far for Foley, who lists off various people who were hurt or killed defending his rights. Hassan: “YOU SUPPORT AN EVIL AND UNJUST WAR!” Foley: “I SUPPORT AMERICA!”

Those rights don’t apply in the ring (Foley Island) though and if Hassan comes inside, he’ll get a fist in his mouth. Hassan and Daivari walk away again. I know it was a different time, but this stuff is as heavy handed as it gets these days, with the Love It Or Leave It stuff being a lot to take. I get where these debates have an audience, but it’s not the most interesting thing on a wrestling show.

We look back at Lita winning the Women’s Title last week.

Trish Stratus doesn’t care what the interviewer’s name is because she isn’t happy with what happened. She’ll get her title back.

Rochelle (egads another random woman on the roster) is in Bischoff’s office when Edge comes in to say he deserves the title. We hear his usual list of times where he got cheated and is told that the decision is coming tonight.

Christian/Tyson Tomko/Maven vs. Eugene/William Regal/Shelton Benjamin

Eugene backdrops Christian to start and pulls out his own version of Mr. Socko as Lawler insists that Christian could beat Aquaman. Maven and Christian both take airplane spins but Tomko takes Eugene’s head off with a clothesline. The chinlock keeps Eugene in trouble (Regal: “Come on Eug!”) and it’s back to Maven for an elbow to the head. Regal’s overly loud shouting continues as JR sucks up to the troops all over again. Eugene gets two each off a backslide and small package so Christian rips at his face.

Shelton and Regal are knocked off the apron as the announcers talk about Simon Dean. Come on the match isn’t THAT bad. Maven puts on a chinlock of his own with a knee in Eugene’s back until a Stunner breaks things up. Shelton finally comes in to start taking over and an exploder getting two on Maven as Christian makes the save. Christian gets Socko from Eugene but Maven rolls Shelton up and grabs the rope for the upset.

Rating: D. This felt a lot longer than the seven minutes it lasted. Maven’s continued push isn’t helping anything, but at least having it be in the midcard instead of the main event is a little more believable. The match wasn’t even very good as it was Eugene getting beaten until the last minute when Shelton got pinned.

HHH glares at Bischoff and then nearly begs him to return the title. He seems near tears as he talks about how important the title is to him as this is getting WAY too deep into HHH’s psyche than I’m comfortable with being. See, HHH needs to be champion so people can recognize him. Oh and it’s good for business.

Next week: the Best of 2004. Pick your favorite “that’s going to be a short show” joke.

Bischoff comes to the ring and calls for HHH, Edge and Benoit to join him. The three of them do, with Flair and Batista joining HHH. All the team does is win and the World Heavyweight Champion should be a winner. Bischoff liked the idea of another triple threat match but that’s not what he wants to do. Or maybe he could hand the belt to Edge, but that’s not a good move since Edge has never been champion before.

With that WCW philosophical line out of the way, Bischoff gets to his idea: the Elimination Chamber at New Year’s Revolution, which was the pretty clear pick the entire time. In addition to the three of them, Jericho, Batista and Orton will be involved as well. Only Batista seems to be happy as Bischoff leaves. Benoit gets beaten down so here are Jericho and Orton for the big six way brawl. Orton RKO’s Batista to stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The longer wrestling was nice for a change, but the bigger problem here was how we spent weeks waiting to find out what is going on with the title and the answer is we wait another month. That’s going to make for some very long shows before we get to the title change, but it means they can do very little until we get to the Royal Rumble where things can actually happen. Not a terrible show, but another case of filling time until we get to what really matters.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Armageddon 2004: You Mean This Might Be The Beginning?

Armageddon 2004
Date: December 12, 2004
Location: Gwinnett Center, Duluth, Georgia
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final, and normally least inspired, pay per view of the year and this time around it’s all about JBL to make things even less interesting. Tonight JBL is defending the title against Undertaker, Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. in a four way, which takes away a lot of the talent from the rest of the card. Other than that we have….I guess the other big match is the Tough Enough boxing match? Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses entirely on the main event, which really is all that matters on this show.

Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Rene Dupree/Kenzo Suzuki

Rob and Rey are defending after winning the titles earlier this week. Kenzo headscissors Rob down to start so it’s a bunch of flips to get us to a standoff. The (first of many) kick to the face drops Kenzo and it’s the 420 for two with Cole again explaining it as fast as he can. He does add in “of course” before the explanation, because it’s the ONLY possible meaning. Rey gets whipped hard into the corner and it’s the challengers taking over for the first time. Rene comes in and gets cocky so Rey picks up the pace but a Kenzo distraction cuts that off.

That earns Kenzo a springboard kick from Rob, knocking him into a powerbomb to the floor from Rey. The spinning kick to the back hits Rene in the back but he’s right back with a good looking dropkick to the face. Rob shrugs that off and catapults Rene into a springboard seated senton, which barely connects and didn’t look very good as a result. Kenzo gets in a kick of his own and the chinlock goes on. That doesn’t last long either as Rob kicks his way out and brings Rey in.

This time it’s Hiroko offering a distraction so Rene can get in a neck snap across the top. Cue Torrie to chase Hiroko off, leaving Kenzo to drop a knee for two on Rey. An armbar starts in on Rey’s arm and Rene adds a dropkick to the shoulder. Normally it would make more sense to go after Rey’s knee but at least there’s an idea. Rene’s powerbomb is broken up and Rey dives for the tag but Rene stops it with ease. The villains cut the ring off again with Kenzo hitting a running clothesline for two.

We now pause for the French Tickler, with Kenzo adding his own while on the apron. The dancing takes too long (as always) and Rene goes shoulder first into the post, allowing the hot tag off to Van Dam. Everything breaks down and the Chalupa Roll (slingshot legdrop/Rolling Thunder) gets two on Rene with Kenzo making the save. A sloppy looking crossbody gets the same on Rene with Kenzo saving again. Rey is fine enough to hit the double 619 and the Five Star to Rene retains the titles.

Rating: B-. Not too bad here as the chemistry continues. They got some extra time here to make things that much better, as Kenzo and Rene had some good, old school styling. Rob and Rey winning the titles here would have been a nice moment but it’s not like it’s that big of a problem one way or another. Good opener, though there was some sloppiness to overcome.

Daniel Puder promises to make Mike Mizanin feel the two true pains: his right and his left. He says Mike over and over again and stumbles a few times, but the intensity helps.

Here’s Kurt Angle for a bonus Kurt Angle Invitational before his scheduled match later tonight. Angle has found a perfect challenger, who is admired by millions and takes his job very seriously. Ladies and gentlemen, SANTA CLAUS!!! Santa throws out candy to the fans but Angle says he needs to get back to the North Pole with Tazz and the other elves. Kurt doesn’t like him though because his daughter only wants to write letters to Santa instead of talking to him. Tonight, Santa is tapping out.

Kurt Angle vs. Santa Claus

Angle Slam and ankle lock for the win in 45 seconds. I bet he gets Cole for Christmas.

Mizanin says he’s never been an underdog and he won’t look stupid tonight. The underdog is going to have some bite tonight. It’s not much of a promo but the last two he’s had have had a point to them and he’s stuck with it so he’s learning.

Long recap of the entire Tough Enough contest so far.

Daniel Puder vs. Mike Mizanin

This is a boxing match with three one minute rounds and Al Snow on commentary. Theodore Long comes out for a long introduction and we actually have boxing commission representatives and a state issued referee because this is apparently serious. They both go nuts with punches with Miz (thank goodness that name is officially used now and I don’t have to go back and change it every time) throwing wildly and Puder showing what is likely some boxing training for MMA. Puder slips a bit and goes down to a knee with neither being a definitive winner.

Tazz actually brings up the Brawl For All between the rounds, likely earning himself a fine. The second round is a lot more subdued as they’re both winded. Puder gets in a clear rabbit punch and a few good shots have Miz staggered to end the round. The fans are loudly booing now as round three starts and they slug it out again with Puder getting the better of it to wrap things up. Puder wins on a fan decision, which is the right call as he won the second and third rounds. This was awful in case that wasn’t clear.

Post match Miz says Puder has a great overhand right. Puder says this isn’t his fight and he’s all about breaking arms.

Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. want to hurt JBL tonight and take the title. They both think they could beat each other but they each find the other’s idea hilarious. Eddie remembers that they have to deal with Undertaker though and they agree to team up against the other two. Undertaker comes in, stares at both of them, and keeps walking. You don’t see Undertaker in these segments very often and it felt out of place for him.

Basham Brothers vs. Charlie Haas/Hardcore Holly

Bonus match because only a handful of matches got any kind of proper build on this show. Holly headlocks Doug to start and hits some chops in the corner, followed by some general stomping. It’s off to Haas, who gets sent into the corner so the Bashams can take over. That lasts all of three seconds until Haas armdrags Danny down, only to get kicked in the back. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Danny punches him in the face for two.

An exploder suplex gets Haas out of trouble and it’s Holly coming in with a top rope clothesline. Cue Dawn Marie to check on Charlie, drawing out Jackie Gayda to yell. As Charlie’s life continues to crumble around him (I feel so sorry over a professional wrestler having two gorgeous women fighting over him), Doug gets the worst small package I’ve ever see (it didn’t go down smoothly and Holly’s shoulders were so far off the mat I couldn’t tell who was covering whom) for the pin.

Rating: D-. It’s a really bad sign when a show needs this kind of filler to break the two and a half hour mark. This was awful and would have been bad anywhere, even as a middle of the show match on Velocity. The Bashams aren’t the worst team in the world but they’re involved with the World Champion and needed the love triangle to beat Holly and Haas. Just bad all around.

We recap John Cena vs. Jesus. Cena lost the US Title to Carlito and was then stabbed in a club later that night. Then he came back and destroyed the injured Carlito to win the title back. Tonight Cena gets to beat up Jesus, who is likely the person who stabbed him. This was Cena’s launch up to the next level as he was suddenly this main event level monster with a fire in his eyes and you knew it was a matter of time before he took over the show.

US Title: John Cena vs. Jesus

Jackie promises to finish Dawn once and for all tonight. Charlie is sick of this but puts on his referee shirt anyway. She promises to make it up to him tonight, which calms him down a bit. Charlie makes sure she takes her engagement ring off and puts it in his pocket.

Dawn Marie vs. Jackie Gayda

Charlie comes out with Jackie, just in case you were expecting impartiality. They trade slaps to start and then slug it out. Dawn gets the better of it and sends her into the buckle, followed by the rolling over the referee spot. A rollup with tights gives Dawn the pin.

Post match Charlie admits to the affair and ends the engagement. Jackie is too much like a dead wet fish in various ways but Dawn is like Atlanta on the 4^th of July. Charlie pulls out the engagement ring and drops to a knee for a question. Charlie: “Dawn, why are you such a s***?” He wouldn’t marry either of them and walks out.

Hey remember the Diva Search? Well now you can see a pay per view highlight package of the whole thing!

Joy Giovanni kisses Big Show for good luck. It’s quite the relationship, having gone for like two and a half weeks now.

Big Show vs. Kurt Angle/Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns

Cole: “Here comes the man who earlier tonight made Santa Claus tap out.” This is the latest blowoff to the Angle vs. Show feud from the fall, which included Angle shooting him with a tranquilizer dart and shaving his head. Jindrak starts for the team but hang on as we need to look at his bicep. As the announcers debate whether Cole was in a bodybuilding competition or the Ziegfeld Follies, Show takes Jindrak into the corner for the overhand chop.

Angle comes in instead and is shoved right back away, meaning here’s Reigns for the first time. That’s not enough for Show, who pulls Jindrak in for a bonus. An Angle cheap shot gets Show caught up in the ropes and some kicks to the ribs keep him down. As expected, it’s Reigns and Jindrak doing most of the work, including a double suplex to give Jindrak two.

Angle comes back in for the reverse chinlock with a knee in Show’s back, followed by a choke over the bottom rope. Now it’s Jindrak with his own reverse chinlock until Show powers up and cleans house. The Alley Oop drops Jindrak and reigns is tossed to the floor but Angle gets in the Slam. The ankle lock is broken up in a hurry so Angle goes for the steps, which are kicked into his face. An F5 of all things finishes Jindrak.

Rating: D+. This felt like a Smackdown main event so it could have been a lot worse. The good thing is that there is nowhere else for the feud to go, meaning we should be done now that this match is over. The match wasn’t very good, but Show is pretty clearly next in line for a title shot after three major pay per view wins in a row.

Video on last year’s Tribute to the Troops. This year’s edition is in less than two weeks.

Funaki interviews himself about his Cruiserweight Title shot. Cruiserweight Champion Spike Dudley comes in to call this pathetic and says Funaki will never be champion. Funaki doesn’t seem to agree.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is defending after Funaki won a battle royal earlier this week. Feeling out process to start with Funaki taking it to the mat for some early frustration. Some rollups give Funaki two each as Tazz makes small package jokes about Cole. A little cranking on Spike’s arm sends him to the floor for a baseball slide as Spike can’t get anything going so far. Back in and they fight over a superplex to the floor until a release gordbuster drops Funaki to the floor this time.

It’s time to start in on the ribs with Spike grabbing an abdominal stretch with Funaki’s knee down on the mat. A regular abdominal stretch keeps Funaki in trouble until he sends Spike into the corner for the break. Funaki’s high crossbody gets two so Spike tries the Dudley Dog, which is reverses into a jackknife cover to give Funaki the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. Not too bad here, even if it was in the spot where no one was going to care about the thing. There’s only so much you can do for a Spike vs. Funaki match and everyone knew that. At least they got the title off of Spike, who wasn’t a bad champion but his time had come and gone. Now that being said, he’s a better option than Funaki, who feels as bottom of the barrel as you can get.

We recap the World Title match. JBL has cheated his way to retaining the title over all three challengers so tonight he has to face them all at once. This gets the music video treatment because it’s the only match that has gotten a major push on TV. How often do you see a multi man match with everyone from the same state in a national promotion?

The Cabinet gives JBL a subdued pep talk as he looks like he’s walking to the gallows.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T. vs. Undertaker

JBL is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. The Cabinet is barred from ringside and if they interfere, JBL is stripped of the title. But if they help him win, doesn’t he just get the title back a few minutes later? If nothing else JBL is selling the heck out of his terror. JBL lets the other three beat each other up to start and it’s Undertaker booting Booker in the face so JBL can steal a near fall. No one is happy with that so it’s time to pinball him around between all three challengers at once.

With JBL down, Undertaker gets stomped in the corner, much to the fans’ annoyance. Undertaker gets knocked to the floor so it’s JBL getting double teamed for a change. As usual though, Booker gets annoyed at Eddie for going for a cover, allowing JBL to grab his own near fall. Undertaker comes back in and starts wrecking things so everyone heads outside. JBL loads up the announcers’ table but Undertaker backdrops him before anything can happen. Undertaker stalks Eddie back inside for a match I could have gone for in a much longer form.

Another backdrop gives Undertaker two and it’s Booker taking Eddie’s place. The running big boot in the corner misses so JBL comes in to beat on Booker. Choking on the ropes has Eddie and Undertaker in trouble but Undertaker is up with a spinebuster to cut Booker off. Old School and the Downward Spiral give Undertaker two with Eddie making the save so Undertaker launches him over the top with some raw power.

There’s the apron legdrop but JBL runs Undertaker over on the floor. Back in and JBL chokes Booker with some tape as Eddie pulls out a rather unnecessary ladder. After that takes Undertaker out, JBL grabs the title but Booker starts cleaning house with kicks to the face and head. The ax kick gets two on Eddie and Booker’s NO WAY face is great. It’s back to the floor with JBL badly powerbombing Booker onto the announcers’ table and then elbowing him through it.

The Last Ride puts JBL through the other table, leaving Eddie to play dead in the ring. The chokeslam connects and it’s time for the Last Ride but Eddie gets in a belt shot to the head. A pair of frog splashes gets two and now it’s Eddie’s turn to be terrified. With wrestling not working, Eddie brings in the ladder for a mega frog splash but his own knee is banged up so it’s a delayed two with JBL pulling the referee out.

The ladder to the face puts Undertaker on the floor and Eddie sends a charging JBL into it for a bonus. Three Amigos keep JBL in trouble but this time it’s Booker making the save. Undertaker is back in with Snake Eyes and the big boot for two on Eddie with Booker breaking it up again. Chokeslams hit everyone but Undertaker…but Heidenreich runs in to break up the Tombstone on JBL. Heidenreich chokes Undertaker out on the floor as JBL covers Eddie and Booker for two each. The Clothesline From JBL finishes Booker to retain.

Rating: B. They were working out there and the match didn’t feel as long as it was, but the JBL title reign has lost its charm in a hurry. It’s becoming more and more clear that we’re not getting out of this anytime soon and seeing him get beaten up so often but escaping with the title is rather tiring. It’s the same thing we had to see from HHH for years and the Cabinet is no Evolution.

Cole: “This could be the beginning of a long title reign for JBL!” He’s been champion five and a half months!

Overall Rating: D. There are far worse shows but there was no hiding how unimportant this show was. We’re just waiting on the Rumble at this point because both brands are dying for some fresh blood. Unfortunately that means a long wait and stuff like Dawn vs. Jackie, the Tough Enough boxing match and that lame Bashams tag match to get through first. There is some good stuff on here, but it’s certainly not worth watching the rest of the show to get to it.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown – December 9, 2004: Antebellum

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 9, 2004
Location: Bi-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Attendance: 2,300
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Armageddon and thank goodness for that. The last few weeks of shows have been nothing short of dreadful and I can’t wait to get this pay per view out of the way so we can move on to the Royal Rumble build. Tonight is likely going to feature a lot of Tough Enough and the other two stories that matter around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at JBL and the Cabinet beating down Undertaker last week.

The Cabinet is in the ring to open the show. JBL demands respect and talks about all the other former WWE Champions that aren’t as great as he is now. His three challengers on Sunday couldn’t beat him one on one and now they get a chance at the same time. It is a sick, sick joke and all Theodore Long’s fault. The lights go out and it’s Undertaker appearing to beat up the Cabinet, who run away in a hurry.

We recap Torrie Wilson vs. Hiroko, which is all because Kenzo Suzuki wants Torrie.

Battle Royal

Funaki, Chavo Guerrero, Billy Kidman, Nunzio, Paul London, Shannon Moore, Akio

The winner gets a Cruiserweight Title shot on Sunday. It’s the standard brawl to start with teased eliminations that don’t get very far. Nunzio takes a rather stupid trip to the top and gets kicked in the head for the first elimination. London hits a top rope double stomp to Akio’s back but gets dumped by Kidman. Funaki crotches Akio on top and Shannon dropkicks him out to get us down to four.

Kidman’s pop up powerbomb to Chavo is countered by a hurricanrana and Shannon grabs a swinging neckbreaker on Funaki. The announcers aren’t sure who to pick here as Funaki backdrops Shannon out. A Gory Bomb doesn’t get rid of Kidman so Funaki eliminates Kidman and Chavo at the same time for the win.

Rating: D. Pretty run of the mill battle royal with far too few people to make sense for a match like this and a rather uninspiring winner. The Cruiserweight division is back to its old standard of a champion and a random challenger with nothing in between. There’s nothing to see here and the division needs a change in a hurry.

Jackie Gayda begs Charlie Haas not to fight tonight as his eyes are bloody and his ribs are banged up. He’s going to do it anyway so here’s Josh to ask annoying questions about him being guest referee on Sunday. Of course he’s going to be partial. Well I certainly appreciate the honesty.

Mizanin wants Justice Smith and Daniel Puder to step into his reality on Sunday. He needs a lot of practice but you can see the talent there.

Jesus vs. Charlie Haas

Anything goes and falls count anywhere but we can’t say hardcore anymore. Carlito gets ejected before the match so he spits apple at Charles Robinson. Charlie starts fast and gets in a chair shot but Carlito brings out Dawn Marie, allowing Jesus to get in a chain shot to the head for the knockout in about 45 seconds.

Post match, Jackie and Dawn run in to check on Charlie and glare at each other.

Justice Smith doesn’t care who he knocks out on Sunday.

Luther Reigns sneaks up on Joy Giovanni and asks her to tell her boyfriend the Big Show that Reigns is looking for him. Bad acting ensues.

JBL and the Cabinet are leaving before tonight’s handicap match. Long says the Cabinet is a joke and says JBL is wrestling on his own on Sunday and if anyone comes out to help him, he is stripped of the title. Just cue up his victory music already. The Bashams come in to say there has been a security breach, meaning someone has stolen the tires from the limo and put it up on blocks. We cut to the arena where Eddie rolls out a tire. Eddie says he knows a guy who can get JBL a good deal on some tires but to save the tears for Sunday.

Daniel Puder rambles about how great a fighter he is. Mizanin really did outclass the other two by a long way.

Torrie Wilson is at a photo shoot when Michelle McCool delivers some flowers to her. They’re from Kenzo Suzuki and Torrie isn’t happy. Hiroko comes up and doesn’t like Torrie calling him a jerk so the catfight is on with Torrie being stripped to her underwear. The chase is on and Torrie strips her as well so they can run into the arena. Kenzo and Rene Dupree come in for the save so here are Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio for the real save. Cue Long to say let’s have Sunday’s title match right now.

Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree

Kenzo and Dupree are defending and we’re joined in progress with Rey getting chopped down. For some reason that means the hip swivel from Suzuki so Rey kicks him in the face and hands it off to Rob for the slingshot legdrop. Rene comes in and gets kicked down as well to give Rob two more. The illegal Rey adds a springboard seated senton to let Rob get another two off a sunset flip.

A Bronco Buster in the corner keeps Rene in trouble and it’s a split legged moonsault from Rob, with Kenzo hitting his partner in a botched save. 420 (with Cole quickly explaining the name as a combination of legs and shoe sizes) looks to set up the Five Star but Kenzo crotches Rob for the save. The chinlock slows things down a bit and Rene drops Rob on the back of his head for two.

Cole says that suddenly the champs are in control, despite them being on offense for the last minute plus since Cole said they took control in the first place. Kenzo comes in to add his own chinlock and it’s back to Rene for the French Tickler, with Tazz adding a lot through the singing. The dancing takes a bit too long though (well duh) and Rob scores with a kick to the face (like it would be anything else) to get a breather.

Rob finally kicks Kenzo down though and now the hot tag brings in Rey. A top rope seated senton and the spinning DDT get two on Kenzo, setting up another springboard seated senton (Rob is less subtle with his kicks to the face). Rolling Thunder from Rob gives Rey two with Rene making the save. There’s the 619 but Rene busts Rey’s spine before the cover. Hiroko puts Kenzo on top for two with the raised shoulder drawing a scream. Back up and Rey grabs a rollup with Rob pulling on his arm for the pin and the titles. Thankfully Cole points out how Kenzo and Rene cheated to keep the titles at No Mercy.

Rating: D+. It was rather dull when the champs were on offense and it that is a surprise, then you haven’t been paying attention lately. Rob and Rey’s offense wasn’t much better as they were doing the same stuff over and over again. That being said, I’ll take the title change over anything else as Kenzo and Rene have sucked the life out of the titles every time they’re in the ring.

Video on the house show tour.

Video on HHH beating up Ryan Reynolds in Blade: Trinity.

Armageddon rundown. My already low interest falls even further.

It’s Tough Enough time and Justice Smith is eliminated. That leaves Puder and Mizanin to face off in a boxing match on Sunday. That’s not enough though as we have to have the American Gladiators style joust first. It’s 2/3 falls and Puder wins 2-0 with ease. This was FAR shorter than usual as they weren’t even out there for five minutes total and it helped a lot.

Raw Rebound.

Booker T. stretches with Michelle McCool and reveals that he stole JBL’s hat. Now though, it has a hole in the top for his hair.

Here’s Kurt Angle for the Kurt Angle Invitational, though he looks to be limping a bit. This week’s hometown hero: the Big Show. Well at least it isn’t Moolah. Angle grabs a mic though and says this isn’t happening because Show isn’t getting it down to 2-1 on Sunday. Instead, Show can face….Mark Jindrak, as introduced by Luther Reigns, who doesn’t seem interested in the spot.

Big Show vs. Mark Jindrak

Show tosses Jindrak, in street clothes, into the corner for the early stomping and a headbutt to make it even worse. The overhand chops and step on the chest continue Big Show’s Greatest Hits. Jindrak’s dropkick earns him a big boot but Angle’s distraction lets Jindrak chop block Show. It doesn’t seem to matter that much though, as Show grabs the chokeslam, earning himself a chair shot from Angle for the DQ.

Post match Angle hits Show in the back with the steps for a good shot.

Heidenreich lays in a small room and watches a clock. The ticking gets very loud until Paul Heyman comes in with medication. He takes it, and thanks Heyman for visiting him again. Heyman even has a surprise: Heidenreich’s therapy is complete and he can come back to Smackdown. Heidenreich is happy there though and won’t leave. He does thank Heyman for visiting him though, so at least he’s polite.

Booker T./Eddie Guerrero/Undertaker vs. The Cabinet

Amy Weber is here with the Cabinet though there’s no limo. Eddie has the low rider though, complete with JBL’s tires on the back. It’s a brawl to start with JBL hanging back instead of getting involved. The Cabinet is sent outside without much effort and we take an early break. Back with the smoke still in the ring from Undertaker’s entrance and Booker kicking Danny in the face.

Eddie comes in and stomps in the corner, followed by a poke to the eye to slow Danny down. It’s back to Booker as they’re saving Undertaker for the big tag at the end. Danny finally clotheslines Eddie, allowing the first tag off to JBL. A glare from the Undertaker is enough to hand it off to Danny, but Undertaker chases JBL into the crowd. We settle back down to Eddie in trouble with Doug dropping a leg and grabbing a seated full nelson. Eddie fights up so JBL gets in a cheap shot from the apron to cut him off again.

JBL comes in and puts on a sleeper until it’s a suplex to freedom. The fall away slam is countered into a DDT and NOW it’s Undertaker time, with Orlando Jordan getting to be the first victim. The legdrop hits the side of the head for a change of pace and everything breaks down. Eddie ducks a belt shot from JBL and the champ is surrounded. Jordan makes the save and gets chokeslammed, leaving Eddie and Booker to beat up the Bashams. Eddie hits a frog splash and it’s the Tombstone to give Undertaker the pin.

Rating: C-. Not too bad here with Undertaker being the big ending, but my goodness they’re not even trying to hide how much they’re telegraphing JBL retaining on Sunday. The more they stack up the odds, the more obvious it is that he’s keeping the title again and that’s going to be really annoying when Sunday is over.

JBL is terrified to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It wasn’t a good show, but this was miles better than what they’ve been doing recently. Maybe it was Tough Enough being so short or maybe it was giving something other than the World Title match some focus, but this wasn’t as bad as the rest of the shows from the last few weeks. The problem is that it still wasn’t very good as they’re firmly in the holiday break season.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – December 6, 2004 (2019 Redo): One Large Step For Women

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 6, 2004
Location: Cricket Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final night of the guest host series for Raw and that means Chris Jericho is in charge. He has a big plate in front of him tonight with the controversial finish to last week’s World Title match where Chris Benoit and Edge both laid claim to the title. In a bigger deal though, Trish Stratus is defending the Women’s Title against Lita in a major showdown. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the Highlight Reel (of course) with Jericho promising a big party tonight. Since it’s a party, everyone gets laid tonight, so the leis fall from the ceiling, allowing Jericho to make some jokes about a few fans. Not wanting to be left out, he goes out and gets one himself (Jericho: “Everybody gets laid! You won’t get arrested!”). They’re imported from Hawaii, a tropical paradise, and what makes you think of the tropical paradise than Charlotte, North Carolina in December?

That’s not all though because tonight the Divas will be taking part in the Chris Jericho Rock and Roll Limbo A Go-Go, complete with music from Fozzy. With the announcements out of the way, we look at the end of last week’s show with Edge tapping just as Benoit got pinned. There’s nothing clear after several angles so Jericho needs some help. This brings out Vince McMahon, carrying the title in a better than expected visual. Vince didn’t see anything definitive either so that makes it a tie. He doesn’t like that either….so here’s a smug HHH to interrupt.

Vince doesn’t like being interrupted but he has one word for HHH: congratulations. HHH deserves some praise because he’s a bestselling author and has a role in Blade: Trinity. With that out of the way, HHH reaches for the title but that’s not right either. Instead, the title is vacated, meaning HHH is NOT the champion. As for the decision on the title…eh let’s just wait until next week as you can see the January pay per view from here.

Post break, HHH isn’t exactly happy and yells at Batista for not being angry enough. Batista yells back this time, saying he was out there last week and saving HHH last week. There would be no controversy if it wasn’t for him and Benoit would be the champion. YOU’RE WELCOME! HHH turns over the coffee while shouting THANK YOU.

Jericho has a party in his office, with paint and balloons on the walls and various woman carousing. Christian comes in to rant about what looks like a superhero costume Jericho wants him to wear. Jericho loves the idea of Captain Charisma joining various other great captains, like Hook, Crunch and James T. Kirk. If Christian wants another Intercontinental Title shot, get in the costume. Christian leaves and Benoit comes in instead. He’s not happy with the situation so Jericho makes himself and Benoit against Batista/HHH, which does please Benoit.

We look at Trish tormenting Lita back in May. These segments were gold as Trish is so awesome in this role.

Eugene vs. Maven

William Regal is here with Eugene and doesn’t think much of Maven wanting a handshake. Eugene wrestles him down to start and strikes a bit of a dance as Maven certainly doesn’t seem pleased. A takedown sets up a bodyscissors with Eugene rolling him around and shaking the knees some more. Back up and Maven falls down but claims Regal tripped him, meaning an ejection. Eugene gets a northern lights suplex for two and Maven compliments him before kicking the knee out. The knee gets tied in the corner and Maven chokes until it’s a DQ.

Rating: D. Now this is more Maven’s speed and I didn’t get nearly as annoyed as I did before. Maven against someone like Eugene is something I can buy, unlike watching him against main event level talent. The heel turn isn’t likely to revitalize his career but at least he’s not in way over his head.

Post match Regal comes back in but gets decked by a title belt.

And now, a limbo contest with the Divas. Fozzy plays music, the girls limbo, Christy wins, and Jericho starts singing with Fozzy as we have a dance off. The lights go out though and it’s Muhammad Hassan and Daivari coming up on the screen. Hassan goes on about how great things can be before a single instance can change everything. Like on 9/11. He’ll be here next week and the party will stop. Better than limbo at least.

Simon Dean vs. Hurricane

This is Dean’s in-ring debut but first he needs to talk about the Fit-No-Powder. Hurricane cuts him off, but Dean is smart enough to just talk over the music. Dean offers him an amateur position and gets rolled up for an early two. A front facelock has Dean in the corner but he comes out with a right hand. Lawler: “Well you know what they say.” JR: “What do they say?” Lawler: “Uh…..”

Dean takes him down and a pendulum elbow sets up a pushup choke. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Hurricane’s back as Lawler compares him to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He wishes. Hurricane comes back with a clothesline and headscissors, followed by the reverse Unprettier. The Shining Wizard misses though and Dean grabs a rollup with tights for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a match here as Dean’s run continues to die before our eyes. It’s not working and a feud with Hurricane and Rosey isn’t going to fix things. They tried something and it isn’t clicking, but at least they’re keeping him down low on the card and giving him a win. I wouldn’t get my hopes up though.

We see Trish’s bridal shower for Lita as the gold continues.

Randy Orton is happy with the World Title situation and laughs at Coach for not being able to get laid.

Here’s an angry Edge for a chat. He’s here to defend his World Title and now it’s vacant. The fans tell him that he tapped out as he explains what happened last week, albeit with a bit of a twist that puts him in a pretty positive light. Even Lawler can’t give him the benefit of the doubt on this one as Edge talks about how great it felt to have the World Title in his hands.

This is all Randy Orton’s fault because Orton didn’t do the right thing last week. It’s not his fault that Orton’s title reign was a failure so Orton needs to get out here right now. Cue Orton with the shirt coming off on the way down the ramp. He could have made it a singles match last week with Benoit vs. HHH instead so Edge should be grateful. They’ve been here before and Edge only has himself to blame. Edge is the only failure around here but Edge can’t remember all the times he’s beaten Orton. Edge declares Orton his b**** and the fight is on with agents breaking it up.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Captain Charisma

The Captain (Christian in a superhero costume if you aren’t paying attention) looks a bit like Daredevil with yellow trim. Shelton starts laughing at him and holds his hand out to stop a charge. Tyson Tomko gets on the apron for a distraction, even though it doesn’t seem to change anything as Christian takes over anyway. Shelton is right back with the top rope clothesline but Tomko forearms him in the back to really take over.

An abdominal stretch stays on the ribs but Christian lets it go and misses a charge into the corner. Christian gets punched out of the air and a middle rope sunset flip gets two. The Stinger Splash misses but Shelton lands on the ropes, only to get powerbombed down for two. Tomko gets involved again by throwing in the title, allowing him to boot Shelton in the face for two more. Shelton kicks Christian in the head to mess up the mask, setting up the exploder to retain.

Rating: D+. This could have been worse and it’s not like Shelton is going to run out of challengers. Christian has already been beaten a few times so this was hardly some big waste of a chance. The idea was funny enough, but with the Hurricane and Rosey already on the show, the superhero deal isn’t exactly an original idea.

Post match Jericho comes out and makes Orton vs. Edge for next week. As a bonus, he sings the Goodbye Song to Christian. For some reason, this isn’t included on the Network. With all the music stuff they do, that’s a copyright issue?

Smackdown Rebound (also not on the Network).

Next up: Trish interrupts Lita’s wedding. That outfit makes this roughly 14 times better.

Snitsky cuts Lita off in the back and takes credit for ruining Kane’s career. Tonight is Lita’s big night and it’s a shame her baby isn’t here to cheer her on.

We recap the World Title being vacated.

HHH calls Bischoff but gets the answering machine. The message turns into a plug for the book and Raw Magazine with Flair acting as pitchman. Batista comes in and hangs up the phone, pointing out how it’s kind of stupid to threaten the guy who handles the World Title situation. There is only one World Champion but Batista doesn’t say who that is. Flair: “He’s talking about you!”

HHH/Batista vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Lilian Garcia introduces HHH as the former World Champion so he chases her into the crowd. Benoit chops at Batista to start as they ride out the WE WANT FLAIR chants. It’s off to HHH, who gets chopped by both Canadians and suplexed by Benoit for two. The Crossface is broken up due to feet in the ropes and Batista adds a save. The fans still want Flair but settle for Jericho punching HHH down.

A whip over the corner puts HHH on the floor and a double dropkick sends Batista out next to him. Back from a break with Batista putting Jericho in a camel clutch after hitting a spinebuster during the break. Evolution takes turns stomping Jericho in the corner with Batista adding a boot choke. Jericho dropkicks the knee out to send Batista face first into the middle buckle and it’s the hot tag to Benoit.

Everything breaks down and Benoit decks Flair from the apron, which the fans don’t exactly like. Batista gets knocked off the apron though and Benoit rolls the German suplexes on HHH, which the fans like a lot more. The Lionsault sets up the Swan Dive into the Walls/Crossface combination but Batista makes the save. Another spinebuster drops Benoit but HHH hits him with a chair for the rather dumb DQ.

Rating: C+. The energy was there and HHH snapping is a good enough story. This is part of the bigger story though, even if it’s all but destined to end with HHH as champion again. Batista’s frustrations are starting to grow though and that is a good sign for the future. They’re taking the slow burn path and that’s best for everyone.

Post match HHH chairs Benoit (who is gushing blood) again and loads up one on Jericho, only to hit Batista by mistake. Jericho takes a shot of his own and HHH checks on Batista. Flair holds Batista’s head and HHH leaves, ranting about the title.

Some production guys check out Trish as she bends over for a stretch. After they’re scared off, Lita comes in and Trish asks whose career she’s ending tonight. Lita says yours and kisses Trish. Lawler’s reaction is much more subdued than you would expect.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Overall Rating: C-. The last half hour nearly saved the show with a hot angle and a very good main event. Other than that though, it was another week of waiting for another show as we still don’t get the big moment. They’ll wait for January to actually give us anything in the annual December Doesn’t Matter push and that’s something you knew was coming.

The main event is what really matters here as it would be the benchmark for the women’s division for over ten years. This match was the main event of Monday Night Raw and treated like the biggest thing on the show, which just did not happen at this point. I know they’ve been surpassed and lapped several times, but Lita and Trish really did take the division to a place it hadn’t been in the modern era here and that’s worthy of some praise.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – December 2, 2004: The Teacher Has Left The Room

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 2, 2004
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re finally into December and things have been a near nightmare around here as of late. With a combination of the Tough Enough stuff taking over the show and very limited wrestling, I’m not sure what is supposed to make me want to keep watching the thing. That has never stopped WWE before though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

JBL and the Cabinet (complete with the Bashams being named the Co-Secretaries of Defense) arrive late with Theodore Long not being happy. Tonight the Bashams can face Booker T. and Eddie Guerrero while JBL and Orlando Jordan can face the Undertaker. Two matches made in less than two minutes. Not too shabby.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio/Rob Van Dam/Torrie Wilson vs. Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree/Hiroko

Fallout from last week’s brawl which started over Kenzo oogling Torrie. Hiroko shoves Torrie before the bell and strikes the Crane Kick pose because we need more stereotypes in this one. Rob and Rene start things off but hang on as Dupree needs to bow to Suzuki first. We get what looks like one of the same sequences Van Dam used to do with Jerry Lynn until Rene is sent to the floor.

That leaves the women to come in and roll over Kenzo, who likes it so much that he swivels his hips. Rey loads up a 619 on Hiroko but walks into a spinebuster, followed by the French Tickler. Rey is back up and plants Rene, setting up a Five Star from Van Dam so Rey can grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D-. I have no idea what the point of this was other than stretching us out for another week before we get to what should be a layup of a title change at the pay per view. The match was barely a thing and focused way too much on the stupid Kenzo angle. He hasn’t been interesting since he debuted and that isn’t going to change with having a thing for Torrie.

After that waste of time, here are the Tough Enough guys for their weekly shindig. Ryan Reeves isn’t quitting due to his broken ribs so let’s look at who each person wants voted off.

Mizanin wants Puder gone because he’s a suckup and hasn’t actually fought in the UFC.

Reeves wants Puder gone for not wanting to be a wrestler and only being here to get himself over in MMA.

Smith wants Puder gone for being too overconfident.

Puder wants Smith off because he’s been on other shows before and doesn’t want to be a wrestler.

Ryan Reeves is voted off. That leaves us with three, and next week another will be voted off. The remaining two will box at Armageddon, but there’s another competition tonight. This week: they get to dress like women.

Hiroko doesn’t like Kenzo wanting Torrie and since her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, she wants Torrie in a bra and panties match next week.

Charlie Haas vs. Jesus

Before the bell, Carlito gets in the ring and says he doesn’t like Charlie hogging up the women like Jackie and Dawn Marie. Carlito hits on Jackie and puts his hand on her shoulder so Charlie grabs him, meaning it’s a beatdown from Jesus. Haas gets posted and chained in the chest. No match.

Post match Long yells at Carlito and Jesus, the latter of whom gets to have a street fight against John Cena at Armageddon.

Raw Rebound.

Michelle McCool stretches with Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. She feels some negative energy though and the tensions seem ready to boil over. They argue over losing title shots but Michelle calms them down before their tag match later. At least she has a few perks.

Basham Brothers vs. Eddie Guerrero/Booker T.

JBL is out for commentary with Jordan at his side. After a quick argument over who gets to start, Booker knocks Doug into the corner and stomps him down. A running clothesline puts Doug on the floor and we take a break. Back with Eddie leg lariating Danny into the corner for some stomping of his own.

Some double teaming lets the Bashams take over so Eddie snaps off a hurricanrana to get himself out of trouble. Eddie feeds Doug into a side kick from Booker for two but the referee yells at Eddie, allowing the Bashams to take over again. We cut over to JBL ranting about how awesome of an athlete he is as the Bashams take turns on Booker.

The flapjack plants Doug and Eddie comes in as JBL threatens lawsuits over commentary criticizing him. Everything breaks down and Eddie low bridges Doug but sends Booker to the floor at the same time by mistake. The argument is on and Danny knocks Eddie into Booker from behind. We’ll get to the explosion later, but for now it’s a rollup with ropes to give Danny the pin.

Rating: C. The Bashams have had one match as part of the Cabinet and they’re already about 18485% better than Jordan. They look better, they’re actually effective in the ring and they didn’t need three chinlocks to get them through a nine minute match. This was all it needed to be and Eddie vs. Booker could be good once we’re done with the pay per view.

Post match JBL Clotheslines Eddie and Booker.

Kurt Angle Invitational: Kurt Angle vs. Sebastian McCauley

Angle Slam and ankle lock in less than a minute.

Post match Angle has Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns join him in the ring because he wants to make something right. Now he wants Joy Giovanni in the ring because she was embarrassed last week. Reigns apologizes for last week with the Thanksgiving meal because he got carried away. As an apology, he offers her dinner tonight, his treat of course.

Joy accepts the apology but says she already has dinner plans with Big Show. Angle thinks that’s insulting to the three of them so Reigns gets more aggressive in asking about that dinner. Cue Big Show for the save and a challenge to fight all three of them at once but the bad guys bail.

We look back at last week’s Christmas in Iraq.

And now, the Tough Enough contestants in drag. Mizanin is in a Metallica shirt, Daisy Duke shorts and has a six pack of Miller Lite. As a bonus, he even does the slow lean into the ring ala Stacy Keibler. The other two are just guys in drag with little effort. Cue Hardcore Holly (Cole: “If anyone was homophobic, it would be Hardcore Holly.”) to say these are some ugly women.

They each have thirty seconds to prove that Holly is the object of their affections, which is too far for Holly. Snow: “Are you saying you’re not tough enough?”

Holly actually stays and Michelle Mizanin (just go with it) asks if he likes whips and chains. He leans over and asks if Hardcore can smack that and thankfully the time is up.

Justina Smith talks about speaking with Hardcore’s mama, who says he likes lobsters. For a present, he pulls out a bottle of “crunk juice”….and a live lobster. Snow: “GIVE ME THE MIC!”

Daniella Puder has a Puder Bear and admires the way Holly fills out his trunks.

Mizanin wins, ending one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever seen as a wrestling fan. Thankfully Holly punches Snow out for putting him through all this.

Armageddon rundown.

Here’s Dawn Marie to say that her sexy Santa outfit is better than Jackie’s earlier tonight. Jackie runs out and the brawl is on. Long comes out and makes a match between the two of them at Armageddon with Haas as guest referee.

Undertaker vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Orlando Jordan

The Bashams are banned from ringside but Amy Weber is given a chair. Jordan starts for the team as JBL chills on the floor, looking rather terrified. The threat of a right hand sends JBL bailing off the apron but Jordan’s kick to the face just annoys Undertaker again. A trip to the floor lets Undertaker beat up Jordan some more, followed by a Downward Spiral for two back inside.

JBL makes the save and gets Snake Eyes into a big boot and the bad guys are sent outside in a heap to end us to a break. Back with Undertaker hitting a side slam for two on Jordan with JBL making another save. The apron legdrop crushes JBL and the jumping clothesline drops Jordan. The Last Ride is broken up with a big boot so JBL is willing to come in, allowing Undertaker to grab a legbar. Jordan stomps away, making Cole think he could be champion one day. Thankfully a DDT cuts off that nonsense and it’s time for the double chokeslam, drawing a low blow from JBL for the DQ.

Rating: D. That’s only because it wasn’t as bad as the first match. This feud has been a disaster and this match didn’t do it any favors with a long, boring beatdown from Undertaker until HAHA LOW BLOW for the finish. You really can’t have Jordan take a chokeslam for the pin? His whole job is to take a beating and that can’t be the finish?

Post match Undertaker comes back and beats them up some more until the Bashams come in. The big beatdown leaves Undertaker laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. The Basham Brothers were the best thing about this show. The build to Armageddon is almost entirely based on the four way and the Tag Team Titles, meaning Kenzo and Dupree are one four of the pay per view build. Other than that, you have Angle vs. Show, which is fine but something we just recently covered. Dawn vs. Jackie is good for eye candy but I need something with a little more substance. The less said about Tough Enough the better.

Right now Smackdown feels like a classroom where the teacher put a movie on and hoped for the best. It might keep a few people quiet, but there is nothing for the majority of the people there. I’m sure it’s going to get better when the Rumble season starts, but until then we’re stuck with this no effort show and it’s making me long for the days of Maven being a focal point of Raw.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

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Monday Night Raw – November 29, 2004: You Were Expecting Something Clear?

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 29, 2004
Location: 1^st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 5,300
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re in week three of Team Orton running the show and in this case it’s Randy Orton himself in charge. His first order of business: HHH defending the World Title in a battle royal, which should all but guarantee a new champion. Now let’s see how our beloved champion gets to outsmart everyone this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Raw World Title: Battle Royal

Edge, Gene Snitsky, Ric Flair, Steven Richards, Tyson Tomko, Rob Conway, Sylvan Grenier, Jonathan Coachman, Christian, Shelton Benjamin, Viscera, Rhyno, Eugene, Chris Benoit, Maven, Tajiri, Rosey, William Regal, Batista, Chris Jericho, Val Venis, HHH

The fight starts before Batista comes out, so we watch that in full and come back to everyone standing still again. Hold on though as here’s Vince McMahon to say that this isn’t happening due to reasons of anyone can win. Can you imagine someone like Steven Richards as the World Champion? It’s a #1 contenders match instead, but the winner will get their shot tonight so you’re still getting a title match.

Battle Royal

Everyone starts fighting as Edge chills on the steps without ever having gotten in. Hurricane dives at Viscera for some reason but since Viscera isn’t that bright, he can’t throw him out just yet. A bunch of people get together and toss Viscera, followed by Tajiri eliminating his own partner Rhyno. Tomko is out next and Maven gets rid of Grenier, only to get tossed by Eugene. Back from a break with Benoit and Edge chopping it out in the middle of the ring and Coach having eliminated himself rather than be chopped by Benoit again.

Regal and Rosey both go out at Snitsky’s hands, followed by Batista tossing Hurricane. That means a Snitsky vs. Batista showdown until everyone else breaks it up due to reasons of wrestling stupidity. Batista starts cleaning house, including tossing Eugene, Tajiri, Christian, Venis and Flair in just a few seconds. The fans are WAY into that as we take a break. Back again with Jericho dropkicking Snitsky out, leaving us with Jericho, Benoit, Richards, Edge, Benjamin and Batista.

Richards starts celebrating and gets beaten down to leave us with five. Shelton unloads on Edge in the corner as JR is on fire with the over the top call here. The stomping goes on a bit too long though and Edge sends Benjamin to the apron, setting up a spear for the elimination. Jericho charges at Batista and gets tossed, leaving Benoit to German suplex Edge. Benoit low bridges Batista out though and we’re down to the two Canadians. They both wind up on the apron and fall to the floor for the double elimination.

Rating: D+. So there’s the latest version of the double winner battle royal as we set up a likely triple threat match tonight. The match was far longer than it needed to be, though they got us down to a good collection of talent at the end. Having it come after a bait and switch certainly didn’t help either.

In the back, two referees both tell Randy Orton what they think they saw, which of course is a split decision. The referees leave and Vince comes in to tell Orton that it’s his call. Edge comes in to plead his case, offering Orton a title shot if he gets to face HHH tonight. Orton says he’ll think about it, which isn’t good enough for Edge. The boss leaves and Edge is furious.

Maven is annoyed that he hasn’t won anything in the last few weeks. Eugene comes in and asks for help putting his Tag Team Title on. That’s too far for Maven and Shelton Benjamin has to get between them. After four years of work, Maven doesn’t have anything and Eugene can’t even spell title. Eugene spells title so Maven goes after him, with William Regal breaking it up. Maven sits back down.

Candice Michelle stops Orton to ask if her new dress is appropriate. Orton approves, but here’s Benoit to demand the title shot tonight. Benoit would win the title if he had the chance and so he wants his chance. Orton promises to fix things.

Here’s Orton to fix things. Well in a minute as first he announces Regal/Eugene vs. La Resistance for the Tag Team Titles and Jerry Lawler (the birthday King) vs. Ric Flair. Other than that, we can have a triple threat match with Benoit and Edge challenging HHH for the title. I’ve heard worse ideas, though not many less interesting.

Lawler goes to get ready so Jonathan Coachman takes his place.

Lita/Victoria vs. Molly Holly/Trish Stratus

The villains jump them from behind and it’s Victoria getting suplexed down. Trish comes in to start kicking at the arm as the announcers go over HHH’s odds to retain the title. It’s back to Molly for a swinging neckbreaker as the back of Victoria’s trunks has torn, which is made even worse given how small they were in the first place. Molly cuts off the comeback with a kick to the ribs and it’s a stomping down in the corner.

The running seated dropkick gets two and a running elbow keeps Victoria away from Lita again. The Chick Kick is blocked and now it’s off to Lita, meaning Trish gets to panic. Lita can’t quite hit a running splash in the corner so it’s a snap suplex instead. A sleeper has Trish in trouble but Molly makes the save and sends Victoria outside. Molly gets knocked out as well though and it’s the snap DDT to finish Trish.

Rating: D+. This could have been a lot worse and the fans are wanting to see Lita take Trish’s head off when she gets the chance. It was a smart move to keep things short at Survivor Series, because the build wasn’t quite done just yet. That was some smart storytelling and they could get some extra mileage out of this story for a better result.

Muhammad Hassan and Daivari montage, with clips of their previous rants.

Ric Flair vs. Jerry Lawler

This is billed as a Legends Match. JR mentions Lawler’s resume and major title wins, which is a good thing to bring up every now and then. How many younger fans see Lawler as an old guy and not a wrestler? Lawler mocks the strut to start and gets shoved, so it’s a slap to Flair’s face. Flair gets knocked down and that’s another strut from Lawler. A slugout goes to Lawler and we get the required Flair Flop.

Flair gets in a cheap shot out of the corner and the comeback is on, including the knee drop. The comeback takes all of two seconds as Lawler elbows him in the face and hits the middle rope fist drop. As you probably saw coming though, Lawler bangs up his knee on the way down though and Flair is rather pleased. A chop block sets up the Figure Four with a grab of the ropes to make Lawler tap.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to it but these two know how to do a paint by numbers match in their sleep. The fans are always going to react to Lawler because he’s one of the all time great performers and has forgotten more about working a crowd than most of the modern roster will ever know. Yeah they’re both old and the match was just a quick filler, but you can see the knowledge and talent on full display.

Melina has been signed as the newest Raw Diva and she hugs Orton for giving her the chance. Melina: “If there’s anything I can do to thank you for the favor, let me know.” Maria comes in as well and Orton has an idea. They won’t be wrestling, but they’ll be in the ring doing something.

Wrestlemania Recall: Benoit wins the title.

We get another Shelton Benjamin video, this time talking about all of the drug issues in his hometown. He was in the middle of firefights and got out as soon as he could. Eventually he found his way out through sports, which got him to college.

With the emotional story out of the way, here is Orton, flanked by Maria, Candice and Melina. Orton thinks we need more hot women though so here are Christy Hemme and Stacy Keibler. So why are they here? Lingerie fashion show. There isn’t much to say here as they all strip, they all look good, they dance rather close to Orton and they all get cheered. A group hug wraps it up.

Is this supposed to make us want to like Orton? The tall, handsome wrestler who gets to hit on the gorgeous women that he probably could get regularly? Orton added nothing to this segment and it could have been anyone running the thing to the same result. This was over ten minutes long, or longer than anything but the battle royal tonight. I get the appeal, but could you be a little more subtle with this stuff?

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. William Regal/Eugene

Regal and Eugene are defending. Eugene shoulders Conway down to start as we hear about the lingerie from the previous segment being auctioned off on WWE.com. As I shake my head, it’s Regal coming in and getting taken to the mat in a bit of a surprise. Eugene gets knocked off the apron and it’s time to Hulk Up, after a legal tag of course. House is cleaned but the crowd is dead after the previous segment. The airplane spin has Conway in trouble and the top rope ax handle gets two. Au Revoir is broken up and it’s a Stunner to finish Grenier.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was watchable for such a short match but the lack of a reaction was really noticeable. There’s only so much you can do when your crowd is dead after a segment like the previous one and there was nothing these guys could do. It’s almost like the fans came to a wrestling show to see wrestling and not a long segment that didn’t add anything to the show.

Post match Eugene brings the kids in to celebrate but Maven runs out and sends him into the steps.

Trish thinks Chris Jericho finds the face mask funny but Jericho thinks she looks great. He also finds it funny that she called Lita the walking Kiss of Death but tonight, the walking KOD beat the walking STD. Next week, Lita gets her title shot.

How to bid on lingerie!

Flair and Batista yell at each other over the battle royal. Good thing they waited an hour and a half to have this talk. HHH comes in to rant about the triple threat but both of them calm him down. Batista sounds a little tentative when he says he has HHH’s back.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Chris Benoit vs. Edge

HHH is defending. Benoit goes after Edge as the champ chills in the corner, watching as Edge knocks Benoit to the floor. Back in and HHH knocks Edge to the floor and whips Benoit chest first into the corner for a pair of twos. Edge comes in again and it’s time for Benoit to take over with some alternating chops. A double clothesline puts Edge and HHH on the floor, setting up a double dive to take them both down again as we take a break.

We come back with HHH down on the floor and Benoit putting Edge in the Sharpshooter. HHH’s save attempt is countered into the Crossface but here are Flair and Batista to make the save. Orton comes out to eject both of them, leaving HHH to hit a spinebuster for two on Edge. Benoit comes back in for the suplexes, setting up the Sharpshooter to Edge’s already banged up back.

Instead of immediately saving, HHH posts Orton first and then breaks things up. HHH gets taken down again and it’s more rolling German suplexes on Edge. Benoit goes up top but has to knock Edge away, giving us a ref bump. The chair is brought in but Orton takes it away from HHH and chairs him over the barricade. Edge is back up for the spear, which is countered into a Crossface with another referee running in. That’s reversed with a rollup that doesn’t break the hold, meaning he taps out at the same time the referee counts three for the double finish.

Rating: C+. There was good action but I rolled my eyes a bit at the match having the same kind of ending as the opener, even with the same people. I’m sure this will set up something else down the line, because that’s what this whole story has been since Survivor Series: a bunch of stuff that makes you wait until next time without giving you anything concrete.

The two referees and the two Canadians argue over who wins to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. A bunch of mostly bad wrestling with Orton offering nothing as the boss for the night makes this another weak show. At least something kind of happened in the main event, but we’re sorry because your definitive deal is on another episode. Benoit vs. Edge for the title is what makes sense and if you think that’s what we’re getting, you haven’t been paying enough attention.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

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