IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: March 7, 2019
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Renee Young, Percy Watson

Things started happening in a hurry last week as WWE suddenly remembered that they needed to set up Fastlane outside of the big matches. That made for some eventful stuff this week and hopefully that translates to this show as well. I’m not sure if I should believe that to be the case or not, but you have to have hope. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Apollo Crews vs. EC3

Rematch from last week. EC3 takes him down with a quickly broken headlock as Crews fights up with a dropkick and armdrag. Crews gets stomped down in the corner for a bit and we hit the reverse chinlock. A clothesline cuts off Crews’ comeback but Crews gets in one of his own. That’s enough to head up top, only to get crotched back down. The 1%er finishes Crews at 5:25.

Rating: D. EC3 has to be near the top of most ridiculous demotions in recent years. He had two matches and is already trading wins with Apollo Crews on Main Event? That’s really the best thing they could do with him? I feel sorry for the guy as he was brought up without any thinking and never had a chance to show what he could do up there. Maybe it can change, but for now it’s rather ridiculous.

From Raw.

Here’s Roman Reigns to open things up to another solid pop. Reigns says last week was the comeback but this week it’s time to take the yard back. There was one person standing in his way and that’s Seth Rollins. This brings out Rollins, who says what an inspiration this is for him. Rollins wants to bring the Universal Title back to Raw but he knows what Reigns is going through. If anyone deserves the shot, it’s Reigns. That sounds nice to Reigns, but he tells Rollins good luck.

There’s one more thing though: he wants to get the band back together one last time. Rollins: “Anything but that.” The fans certainly seem to like the idea so Reigns talks about it not being clear what Ambrose is doing. All Reigns knows is that he wants one more moment with his brothers. Rollins isn’t sure about this because he put that part of his life behind him…but Reigns is right. For Reigns’ sake, he’s in. Reigns wants Ambrose out here right now so here he comes, but Elias blasts him in the back with the guitar. Reigns and Rollins chase him off and Ambrose staggers away.

They had me believing that they were going to go with Reigns vs. Lesnar again at Wrestlemania so it’s quite the relief that it was just a tease (for now). I know that Reigns is going to be back on top of the card at some point in the future but for now, it needs to be Rollins after what they’ve built up over the last few months.

From Raw.

Rollins tries talking to Ambrose about getting the Shield back together but it’s a no. He appreciates the help last week but now he has to do it on his own.

From Raw.

Post break Dean is still in the ring when Reigns and Rollins come out to pitch the reunion one more time. Dean goes through the crowd instead but here are Lashley, Corbin and McIntyre to interrupt and make fun of the Shield being split again. The fight is on until Ambrose runs back to the ring for the save. Rollins and Reigns do the pose and Dean throws his fist in for the big reunion.

Yet again, from Raw.

We look back at Batista attacking Ric Flair last week and calling out HHH.

Here’s HHH to talk about Batista and Flair. HHH says he was here last week for Ric Flair, but also for Richard Fliehr, one of the best men he has ever known. They were at each other’s sides for their weddings (well, most of Flair’s weddings as HHH couldn’t make all of them) and HHH was next to him when Fliehr buried his son. Then a year ago he stood by Fliehr’s bed when he was clinging to life and was scared to answer his phone because he thought it was the call saying he was gone.

Last week HHH wanted him out here to be the Nature Boy one more time but Batista wouldn’t let that happen. Batista has been trying to get HHH’s attention for months and when HHH got hurt in November, it seemed to be the end of things. That wasn’t good enough for Batista, who finally didn’t quit for once. So Batista attacked a seventy year old man who was trying to have one more moment?

Now Batista wants to show up on a screen and go Bad Guy 101 with HHH by saying he doesn’t like Philadelphia? HHH doesn’t care where he wants to go and he’ll come to Batista’s house or go to a movie set if he has to. When Batista comes to see him, it’s going to be the man instead of a character and Dave has to look him in the eyes. Good promo here and HHH’s response made sense, though I’m still needing to know why Batista did this in the first place. What exactly does he have to prove?

Tyler Breeze/Lucha House Party vs. Jinder Mahal/Singh Brothers

Lince Dorado and Kalisto for the Luchas here. Sumir shoulders Dorado down to start and we get the Bollywood dancing. That just earns him a dropkick and it’s off to Sunil, who gets taken down with a spinning crossbody. Kalisto comes in for the splashes and we take an abrupt break. Back with Breeze getting the hot tag and kicking Sumir in the face for two. Everything breaks down and the Beauty Shot drops Jinder, leaving Sunil to take the Salida Del Sol into the shooting star press to give Dorado the pin at 7:39.

Rating: D+. There’s something hilarious about Mahal taking a backseat to the Singh Brothers in these matches. The guy stopped mattering a long time ago but now he’s the definition of “just there”, which says a lot when he’s by far the most successful of all six people in a match.

We look back at Kevin Owens taking Kofi Kingston’s place in the Fastlane title match.

We see the brawl between Owens and Rowan from Smackdown.

From Raw.

Here’s Stephanie McMahon with the Women’s Title and the agreement for Becky to sign. After we see Rousey laying the title down last week, Stephanie brings out Charlotte and Becky. Stephanie explains the hold harmless agreement but Charlotte mocks her before any signing takes place (and I need to make sure who signs and who doesn’t, because if there’s one thing WWE adheres to, it’s signed contracts). Becky offers to fight her right now on one good leg and there’s the signing.

We cut to the back where Rousey is storming into the arena and come back with her walking to the stage (must be a huge arena). Rousey storms in and demands the title back. Stephanie hands it over and changes Sunday’s match. Now, if Becky wins the on Sunday, she’s in the Wrestlemania title match. Ronda isn’t done yet though and yells at Stephanie about making money for the company. She goes into a rant against the fans about how terrible everything is and how she’s sacrificed so much for this company and then they boo her out of the Staples Center.

Screw the Woo and the beating is on with Charlotte getting kicked to the floor. Rousey puts Becky in the armbreaker and cranks back before hammering away in the corner. The armbreaker goes on again and Charlotte leaves as Ronda poses over Becky. Ronda puts the hold on for the third time as they seem to have wrapped things up very early.

And from Smackdown.

Here’s Charlotte to call out Becky for a friendly discussion. First though, we get a video from last night featuring Ronda Rousey attacking Becky before Sunday’s match. Cue Becky, who says she’s sore but it’s worth it to be inside Charlotte and Rousey’s head. She’s going to be damaged going into Fastlane but that just means she has nothing left to lose.

Charlotte kicks the crutch out and the attack is on with a knee to Becky’s knee and a kick to the arm making her cringe in agony. Becky gets in a crutch shot though and grabs the Disarm-Her while shouting that it’s her title. Referees come out and break it up as Charlotte rolls outside.

Overall Rating: D. This show continues to be astounding in its efforts to marginalize Smackdown even more. For the second biggest wrestling show in the world and what is going to be the flagship show very soon, it’s amazing to see how little WWE itself cares about the thing. It was incredible to see how much Raw stuff they crammed in here as Smackdown was thrown in at the end. Not a good show, and at this point I’m less and less surprised every week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 7, 2004
Location: FleetCenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past No Mercy and there isn’t much to say. Undertaker is now dealing with Heidenreich, JBL retained the title and John Cena got the US Title back. The next major show is Survivor Series and at least we aren’t likely to hear the wrestlers burying the show before we get there. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the Last Ride match with (stop me if you’ve heard this before) JBL taking a horrible beating and surviving as champion.

Opening sequence.

Here’s hometown boy John Cena to open things up because the champ is home. After bragging about how the Red Sox and Patriots are winning (like that’s going to last), Cena actually gives some respect to Booker and the fans aren’t sure about that one. Cena: “Ok now back to making fun of people.” That brings him to Cole, who is ugly, sucks, and talks very slowly. We’re doing something different tonight so he’s going to have a fan come in here and insult Cole with him.

Cue the debuting Carlito Caribbean Cool to say that US Title is cool. The Red Sox jersey isn’t though because those guys never win and that makes Cena a punk. He loads up the apple but Cena makes baseball jokes (fair enough in this town) and threatens to make Carlito swallow instead of spit. Carlito laughs it off and says Cena took five matches to win the US Title but he can do it in one. The challenge is sent out but Carlito wants to do it later tonight so he doesn’t mess up his clothes. Cena extends a hand but gets caught with a DDT, plus some apple spit. This was a bit rushed, though I’ve never been a Carlito fan.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kenzo Suzuki

Rob Van Dam is here with Rey. Mysterio’s music cuts off Rene Dupree’s entrance and likely singing. Rey speeds things up to start and kicks the leg but gets kicked in his face to slow things back down. A chop to a seated Mysterio sets up an armbar, which doesn’t last long because it’s just an armbar. Back up and Suzuki grabs a double underhook shoulder breaker but Rey shrugs it off and hits a seated senton. A springboard corkscrew splash gets two and Rene’s distraction earns himself the 619. Another one hits Kenzo and the claw legsweep (still an awful move) is easily countered into a rollup to give Rey the pin.

Rating: C-. It looks like Mysterio and Van Dam are next in line for another title shot and that’s perfectly fine. The tag division is barely a thing at the moment so having the two of them put together into a makeshift team is as good an idea as anything else. Whoever gets the title off of Kenzo is fine with me as he’s somehow getting even less interesting as time goes on.

WWE received an award from Make-A-Wish.

JBL brags about retaining the title and says he didn’t know Heidenreich would be there to help him. He’s still the WWE Champion and doesn’t like the idea of having to face Hardcore Holly again. The fans love him though and they can start those JBL chants right now.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Hardcore Holly

Non-title. Holly wastes no time in going after JBL’s bandaged head and pounds away with right hands. You can’t fault his logic. The gut is busted open in a hurry and Holly has no problem kicking him in the head with the blood getting on his boot. JBL manages a fall away slam to send Holly outside where he goes head first into the announcers’ table.

Holly sends him into the steps and the blood is flowing very well, including as a suplex gets two on JBL. Cue Orlando Jordan, who is totally fine after last week’s crucifixion. Holly’s dropkick gets two and a top rope elbow gets the same. The Alabama Slam looks to finish but a Jordan distraction lets JBL get outside. Jordan grabs the leg again and JBL takes the countout.

Rating: C. Another not too bad match from these two though they’re really not doing themselves any favors with JBL. I know he’s not the greatest champion in the world, but having him mostly get beaten up by career jobber to the stars Hardcore Holly is making JBL even harder to take seriously. At least WWE isn’t treating Holly as a threat to the title again though, as I’m still not entirely over that.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. is coming back in two weeks. That’s not the biggest deal in the world but given the injury, it’s a nice little story.

Theodore Long tells Paul Heyman that Heidenreich stepped over the line and nothing like that is happening again here. It took the jaws of life to get Undertaker out of the hearse but the Undertaker was gone. Since laws don’t exist in WWE unless the script calls for them, Long isn’t punishing Heidenreich because Undertaker will deal with it himself. Heyman stammers that it doesn’t matter to Heidenreich, who will recite poetry tonight.

Raw Rebound.

Kurt Angle explains that he was sick at No Mercy and had to face Big Show anyway. He’s ready to take on Big Show tonight but his doctors won’t let him. Mark Jindrak can do it instead and Angle will be at ringside.

Next week: JBL vs. Holly in a hardcore match for the title.

Mark Jindrak vs. Big Show

Luther Reigns is at ringside and Angle is on commentary but he stares straight at Show without saying a word. Show throws Jindrak over the top to start and then stands on his chest in the corner (without grabbing the rope) as the beating is on in a hurry. The beating bores Show, who goes outside to yell at Angle (still hasn’t said anything) but gets dropkicked off the apron.

There’s a whip into the steps for two back inside and it’s time to start on Show’s arm. It’s kind of hard to whip a giant into the post though and Show sends him to the floor with one arm. Luther Reigns tries to get in but Eddie Guerrero comes down to cut him off. Angle’s interference fails and Show chokeslams Jindrak for the pin.

Rating: D+. It’s not likely to last long but at least Show is getting to look good for the time being. He’s seemed more focused and aggressive of late and that’s working for him. Jindrak has a lot of the tools to get over, though being a lackey isn’t the best way to go about it. Then again he never had much of a spark so you can only expect so much from him.

Carlito says he didn’t disrespect Cena because it was the other way around. He commands respect and tonight, everyone will learn the definition of cool when he becomes the US Champion. Carlito’s graphic comes up, which you don’t see very often after a promo.

We look back at Billy Kidman injuring Paul London at No Mercy and blaming the fans.

Billy Kidman vs. Charlie Haas

Jackie Gayda is in Haas’ corner. Charlie works on the arm to start, including an armdrag into a rollup for two. A hotshot cuts Haas off and let’s talk about the Undertaker out of nowhere. The chinlock stays on the general throat area until Haas fights up with a t-bone suplex. A spinning top rope crossbody gets two but Haas charges into raised boots in the corner.

The shooting star press is loaded up but Jackie climbs onto Charlie to protect him. Kidman kicks Haas to the floor and BK Bombs Jackie before heading up again. There’s no shooting star though as Kidman says he doesn’t think so and climbs down as Rico comes in to take care of Jackie. No contest.

Rating: D+. I’m liking this Kidman story more and more every week, though I’m expecting it to come to an end with Chavo beating him. He’s doing some interesting stuff as you don’t often get into the mental side of a wrestler and it’s an interesting place to go. They’ve gone somewhere and while I get that it’s going to end, it’s kind of a shame as Kidman has gotten a nice rub from this.

Jordan bumps into Booker T. and asks to hear the SUCKA. Booker doesn’t want anything to do with him because Jordan is just an errand boy. And I guess Booker is just a face again, even though there are already as many if not more top faces than top heels.

Another look back at the Last Ride match and the end of No Mercy.

We see some more potential Tough Enough finalists, including Marty Wright (Boogeyman).

Here’s Heidenreich for poetry time with Heyman handling the introduction while also panicking over Undertaker not being in the hearse. Heidenreich says no one, including Undertaker, better interrupt him as he recites his masterpiece. Therefore the fans boo him and keep cutting him off because they don’t understand that they’re just extending their own agony. Heidenreich actually goes into the crowd and beats up some fans, all of whom happen to have some good camera presence.

US Title: Carlito Caribbean Cool vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and Carlito runs scared to start. You can only run so far though as Cena blasts him with a clothesline and whips him into the steps for a bonus. Another whip into the corner has Cena looking confident, which is never a good sign. A delayed vertical suplex, complete with squats, has Carlito in even more trouble. Cena shows off again with a one armed side slam.

It’s kind of strange to see Cena being this cocky but it’s making him look like a bigger star. Carlito gets whipped into the steps but manages to low bridge Cena to the floor. Cena is fine enough to catapult him into the crowd and the posing in the ring takes us to a break. Back with Carlito ducking a crossbody and grabbing a swinging neckbreaker for two. A slingshot elbow gets the same and we hit the chinlock.

Cena powers out with a backdrop and the comeback is on with the usual. The Shuffle gets two and Cena throws him outside but the referee won’t let Cena follow. That means Carlito can pick up the title, which Cena takes away. The referee takes it next, allowing Carlito to use the chain on Cena for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. This was a weird one with Cena dominating for the most part until Carlito got in the cheating shot to win the title. It’s certainly a strong way to debut someone and makes Carlito look like a pesky thief that deserves a beating, though it doesn’t help the fact that it’s still Carlito and he still looks like he’s a seventeen year old with a bad static electricity shock.

Carlito steals the chain to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Maybe it’s the comparison to Raw, but this is the kind of show that makes it clear how much better Smackdown is at the moment. There was a point to almost everything on the show and they set things up throughout the night. On top of that, it doesn’t feel nearly as repetitive and there were no insults from the wrestlers about the upcoming pay per view. Raw is becoming harder and harder to watch while this show is enjoyable, despite having nowhere near as top level stars. I don’t know if it’s going to keep lasting this way, but it’s nice at the moment.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 4, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for a big show as we’re in the World’s Most Famous Arena for one of the last two shows before a gimmick pay per view on a Tuesday. Last week’s Raw saw Randy Orton try to turn Ric Flair away from the dark side, only to get screwed out of the Taboo Tuesday title match voting. I’m sure you know where this is headed so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Orton and Flair last week with Orton’s very good promo that was wasted by the end of the night.

Opening sequence.

The arena is set up as normal, which takes away some of the MSG charm.

Here are HHH and Ric Flair for a chat. Flair recaps last week and wants to correct himself: HHH isn’t the greatest wrestler alive because he’s the greatest of all time. So isn’t he the greatest alive too? Flair is the only man who can say that because Orton has been barred from the building. I’m not sure how those things go together but Flair keeps going by ripping on people Orton has taken out who certainly aren’t legends.

As for Taboo Tuesday, Flair and Orton are fighting one more time in either a falls count anywhere match, a submission match or a cage match. HHH talks about how Taboo Tuesday is going to be a complete disaster (he’s not wrong) because fans can’t be relied on to make decisions. He’s supposed to rely on people like the ones in the front row to make decisions? These people must like that they get to decide Evolution’s fate. To quote an “overrated Hollywood actor”, “It doesn’t matter what you think.”

Taboo Tuesday is a joke and a sham but here’s Chris Jericho to interrupt. Jericho says that this is NOT a repeat, even though HHH is complaining about Taboo Tuesday again. This is Raw Is Jericho so let’s take a poll here tonight. The fans don’t seem to think that HHH is the greatest wrestler alive today, or the greatest of all time for that matter. What about the biggest horse’s a** that ever walked the face of the earth? Jericho: “It looks like we have a winner!”

Jericho reminds us that he inspired Taboo Tuesday in the first place and he’ll be the one laughing when HHH loses the title. Flair demands that he come out here right now for some respect but Jericho comes to the ring with a chair. Cue Batista from behind though and the beatdown is on until Edge and Chris Benoit makes the save. Sounds like another six man, which is far from a bad idea.

Sidebar: so allegedly the reason why HHH got the title back at Unforgiven was he didn’t think fans would want to vote on three heels for Taboo Tuesday. The voting for the Orton vs. Flair match proves that what he’s saying is completely ridiculous, as you could have had the fans pick a stipulation for Orton vs. HHH and swap Flair in for HHH to face Shawn, Edge or Benoit with everything else being the same. How was that not a viable option? Other than HHH doesn’t get the title back of course.

Christian isn’t that impressed with being in Madison Square Garden because Shawn Michaels gets too much credit for that one ladder match in this building. He had a big match here at Wrestlemania XX and actually won. When he beats Shawn tonight, he’s taking the torch the fans are carrying for Michaels.

Shawn Michaels vs. Christian

Tomko is with Christian of course. They go with the basics to start with Shawn hitting a shoulder and grabbing a headlock takeover. As the hold stays on, there’s a sign in the crowd saying Christian is a Major Punk with C M PUNK in red letters. Subtle but I’ve seen worse. Shawn doesn’t take kindly to being slapped in the face and Thesz presses Christian down for some right hands. Christian sends him into the corner to take over as the announcers talk about the intelligence of the fans.

A missed charge crotches Christian though and Shawn knocks Tomko down for good measure. Sweet Chin Music takes forever to set up as usual so Tomko pulls Christian to the floor. That just earns him Sweet Chin Music of his own and we take a break. Back with Shawn not being able to fight out of a chinlock as Tomko has already been helped out. The reverse tornado DDT gives Christian two, followed by the reverse DDT backbreaker for the same.

Christian hits the chinlock again but this time Shawn is up in a hurry and it’s a double knockdown for a pair of nine counts. Shawn is back with the forearm into the nipup to start the comeback but a quick Unprettier plants him. Christian’s very delayed cover gets two and the fans are very pleased. As they should be since this has been good so far. Christian heads up top but gets backdropped down, setting up the top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music hits for the clean finish.

Rating: B. Rather strong match here with Shawn winning clean as he gets some more momentum on the way to Taboo Tuesday. Christian losing might not be the best idea long term but at least he got to hang with one of the best around. That’s going to help him going forward as he’s already an established midcarder/upper midcarder. Just get up the ladder a little higher and stay there longer and he’ll be set.

Earlier today, Lita said that she was in a predicament but is now sad that she lost the baby. You know, the one that was basically the spawn of the devil. Now though, she hates Snitsky and doesn’t buy the idea that it wasn’t his fault. Come on after all those times he’s said it, how can it not be true? She starts shouting and recaps the whole story, which lowers her acting skills by at least 38%.

Eric Bischoff asks an unseen woman if they have a deal and they shake hands. He’ll see her in the ring later tonight. Coach comes in and asks why she is here, because proper nouns are only used when it’s appropriate. Coach is also worried about interviewing Snitsky so Bischoff says JR can do it instead.

JR brings Snitsky out…and he’s got a baby carriage. Snitsky brings it into the ring but we have to pause for a BABY KILLER chant. All that matters is that IT WASN’T HIS FAULT but here’s Kane to disagree. Snitsky throws the carriage at him but not before pulling out a pipe to beat Kane down. See not only is he not to blame, but he’s not stupid. Kane gets busted open and Snitsky chokes him out with the pipe.

Batista vs. Chris Benoit

Flair is out with Batista, who gets knocked to the floor in a hurry. Back in and Benoit goes after the leg with a dragon screw legwhip and Batista limps around the floor. The knee is fine enough to hit a big spinebuster back inside and it’s time to work on Benoit’s back. Benoit sends him into the corner though and it’s time to roll the German suplexes. With Flair being knocked off the apron, Batista shoves off a Crossface attempt. Flair gets in a low blow and posts Benoit but Orton runs in to break up the Batista Bomb for the DQ.

Rating: C. It was fun while it lasted due to the high levels of intensity you knew were coming from these two but the ending was what mattered. Orton fighting through Evolution to get to HHH again is fine, but there’s only so much you can do when Evolution gets the upper hand on him or Orton has to run away every week.

Post match Orton stays on Batista but Bischoff sends out security to arrest him. Flair and Batista get in a few cheap shots to take Orton down.

Post break Bischoff is in the ring to complain about Taboo Tuesday. Speaking of the show, Snitsky will face Kane in a Fans Pick The Weapon match with a lead pipe, a steel chair or a steel chain being legal. As for Chris Jericho, who laughed at the idea of HHH facing three people, he’ll have to defend the Intercontinental Title against anyone not already in a match, which means nearly twenty options. Bischoff wants to see those people in his office in about fifteen minutes.

That brings him to his match with Eugene, who he wants in the ring right now. Eugene comes out and Bischoff tells him that someone in the back has a crush on him. That would be Carmella, who Bischoff thinks should have won the Diva Search. She also has a match with Christy Hemme at Taboo Tuesday, but for now Bischoff explains that she was in Playboy. He whispers what that means to Eugene, who freaks out.

Carmella talks about how hot she finds Eugene, except for his hair. See, if Eugene loses the hair vs. hair match on purpose, she would find him perfect. Eugene agrees, but he wants a kiss now. That’s not happening so Eugene will settle with Carmella taking her top off. That’s not happening either because Carmella is too good for Eugene or these people. Bischoff likes her style so the match with Christy is still on. Cue Christy to shove Carmella and kiss Eugene.

So now we’re getting more Christy vs. Carmella? Was that really such an awesome feud that it needs a sequel? I know WWE has put a lot into this whole thing but for some reason now we’re stuck with seeing them on pay per view. At least it’s going to be short, but Taboo Tuesday was already looking bad enough as it was.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Rhyno/Tajiri

La Resistance is defending and Grenier actually gets to finish O Canada. After some confusion over whether or not this is for the titles, Conway headlocks Hurricane to start. Rosey comes in for a save and a double legdrop (one between the legs and one on the neck) has Conway in trouble. Hurricane gets knocked off the top though and we hit a front facelock. Conway pulls Rosey off the apron, leaving Hurricane to take Au Revoir for the fast pin.

Post match Rosey keeps going after the champs, who turn his mask around. The blind Rosey lays out Hurricane in what seems to be setting up a rematch. It would help a bit if they hadn’t just lost in two minutes.

WWE received an award from Make-A-Wish.

Simon System ad. Simon: “My name is Simon Dean and odds are, I don’t like you.”

Edge says you should vote for him because he’s never faced HHH, unlike Michaels and Benoit, who have faced HHH over and over in a million title shots. Edge lists off all the titles he’s won and injuries he’s suffered and now he deserves a chance. Fair enough, though his face/heel shifting is getting annoying.

The people who could face Jericho at Taboo Tuesday are in Bischoff’s office. Bischoff has a job for them tonight: they’re going to be lumberjacks when Jericho faces HHH.

Stacy Keibler vs. Molly Holly

Trish Stratus is on commentary and isn’t too kind to Christy based on what happened last week. Stacy bites Molly’s finger to start (Trish: “Whatever works.”) and there’s the boot choke in the corner. Molly gets in a suplex as Lawler is very pleased by the visuals of Stacy’s skirt. The slapping doesn’t get Stacy very far so we look at Trish on commentary instead. A missed knee in the corner lets Stacy kick Molly down but Trish heads to the ring for a distraction. For once it actually doesn’t work as Stacy blocks the rollup and pins Molly for the upset. They wouldn’t be stupid enough to have Stacy vs. Trish for the title would they?

HHH vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title lumberjack match. Jericho jumps him after the posing and hits a backdrop before HHH can even get his belt off. The title falls off when HHH is sent outside and the lumberjacks start hammering away. Back in and HHH throws him outside for the same treatment. Jericho is fine enough to slingshot over HHH into a failed Walls attempt so it’s a catapult into the corner instead.

HHH sends him outside for more stompings, followed by blocking the Walls again so Jericho can get sent outside for the third time in about two minutes. This time Christian jumps him but Jericho thinks it was Rhyno and beats him up instead. Back in (again) and Jericho misses the Lionsault, knocks Batista off the apron, and finally gets the Walls. That’s broken up as Flair has to be dispatched, followed by a big dive onto a bunch of lumberjacks. With the referee distracted, Rhyno comes in for the Gore to give HHH the pin.

Rating: D-. What a waste of time, especially with the lumberjacks. If they don’t want to have either of these two do a job (as they shouldn’t), don’t set the match up in the first place. This was a bunch of throwing each other to the floor and failed finisher attempts until Rhyno came in to finish things off. Another bad main event to cap off a series of terrible matches tonight.

Post match the fight is on with Orton coming in to hit some RKO’s on random people. A big one to Coach (more like a jumping Stunner) finishes the show.

Overall Rating: D. Well that was bad. The usual suspects had their good matches as always but at the same time, we had a bunch of terrible matches and promos that consisted of “Taboo Tuesday is stupid” and heels saying “we hate this” over and over. The problem is we’re coming up on what feels like any given pay per view but we have a bunch of completely acceptable stipulations to pick from. That doesn’t make for an interesting show, which is something this place could really use right now. Hopefully it picks up, but I’m not exactly thrilled with the prospects right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

No Mercy 2004
Date: October 3, 2004
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time for another Smackdown pay per view and again that means JBL is main eventing, this time against the Undertaker in a Last Ride match. I mean it worked so well the first time that someone felt the need to include a hearse. The other big match is Kurt Angle vs. the now bald Big Show in the most personal match of the show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a rather subdued look at the show’s card. You would expect a match with the main event focused on putting someone in a hearse to be a little more over the top.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Luther Reigns

Reigns has Mark Jindrak with him and goes straight with the power (because he has so many other options) in the form of a hard clothesline and a somewhat harder shoulder. Eddie goes smart by sweeping the leg and hitting a running dropkick to the ribs, which looked a bit odd and I’ll blame that on Reigns. A gorilla press drops Eddie again and a whip into the corner sets up a bearhug. Headbutts break things up but Reigns is right back with a big boot (the left boot, which you don’t see that often) for two.

The double arm crank is broken up and it’s a backbreaker to keep the pressure on Eddie’s back. Eddie gets sent outside where Jindrak gets in some stomps as Eddie really seems like he’s wasting time until he beats Reigns whenever he wants. Another backbreaker keeps Eddie in trouble and a powerslam gets two. Eddie climbs the ropes to counter the Roll of the Dice into a reverse DDT to get a breather.

Some elbows in the corner have Reigns in trouble as the comeback is on. The first two Amigos connect but the third is countered with a gordbuster. With the referee apparently off buying popcorn, Eddie steals a baton from a cop at ringside and puts it in his boot. The chair gets brought into the ring and dropkicks it into Reigns’ face, which isn’t even admonished. The frog splash misses though, allowing the referee to get rid of the chair. Eddie blasts Reigns with the baton and now the frog splash is good for the pin.

Rating: D-. That’s the second straight match where Reigns has managed to drag Eddie down. Reigns just isn’t any good and is much better at looking intimidating than having an actual match. Like I said, this felt like Eddie was killing time until the match could end and that’s a really bad way to open the show. Just keep Reigns out of the ring because it’s not working.

We recap Dawn Marie and Jackie Gayda getting in a catfight on Smackdown.

Dawn says she can’t help it if Charlie Haas is obsessed with her. There’s a six person tag tonight but Dawn goes into Jackie’s locker room where she’s changing clothes. Dawn thinks Jackie is forcing Charlie into the marriage but they won’t last. This feud came out of nowhere but at least they’re not hiding the soap opera stuff.

Cruiserweight Title: Spike Dudley vs. Nunzio

Spike is defending after Nunzio pinned him in a non-title match on Smackdown. The Dudleys and Johnny Stamboli are here too. They fight over a lockup to start until Nunzio hiptosses him to the floor. Normally that would get a face pop from the crowd but….well would you cheer for the FBI? Back in and a rollup gives Nunzio two and it’s off to a wristlock. Bubba: “I THINK HE’S CHEATING!” If nothing else, Bubba is awesome at talking trash from ringside.

Spike gets sent outside again and a suicide dive knocks him down again. Back in and Nunzio takes him down with ease again but a Dudley distraction lets Spike get in a cheap shot. It’s off to a seated full nelson, which Nunzio spins into a rollup for two. Some of these counters are rather impressive and Nunzio is looking good, though it’s not like the fans are caring.

Bubba snaps Nunzio’s throat across the middle rope and it’s right back to the full nelson. This one doesn’t last long either and it’s Spike going up, only to get powerbombed right back down. A bridging belly to back suplex and a hard whip into the corner give Nunzio two each, followed by the Sicilian Slice for the same. They head outside with Spike taking a backdrop but D-Von grabs Nunzio’s leg. Johnny finally does something by making a save, allowing Bubba to crotch Nunzio against the post to retain the title.

Rating: C+. I don’t know if it was just how bad the first match was, but this was quite good stuff with Nunzio getting to show off his amateur skills. Spike as the team’s boss needed to end months ago as it’s really not working. I’m still not sure why Bubba and D-Von are listening to him but I don’t think WWE ever cared enough to figure that out.

We look at Undertaker’s first World Title win against Hulk Hogan back in 1991.

We recap Billy Kidman vs. Paul London. They won the Tag Team Titles but Kidman botched a shooting star press and injured Chavo Guerrero. He lost his confidence and walked away, costing them the titles and breaking up the team. Kidman stopped listening to London and snapped a bit, setting things up here.

Paul London vs. Billy Kidman

London isn’t waiting and dropkicks him through the ropes to start fast. A hard kick to the back keeps Kidman down and another one to the face gets two. The aggression continues with a dropkick to put Kidman on the floor and the middle rope moonsault makes it worse. Back in and a slingshot splash gets two as it’s all London so far. Kidman gets serious though and sends him ribs first into the post, setting up back to back rib stretches. A gutbuster gets two and it’s time to just punch the ribs. Sometimes the simplest method is best.

London finally gets in a right hand and some forearms in the corner but the ribs give out. The BK Bomb gives Kidman two and a good looking dropkick cuts London down again. Kidman heads up for the shooting star to a very positive reaction but can’t bring himself to do it. It’s not enough to make Kidman walk out but it’s enough for London to nail a superkick. London tries his own shooting star, which hits raised knees. Now Kidman is able to hit the real thing for the pin, with the knees going into London’s ribs in what might have been an intentional bonus.

Rating: B-. I’m liking this story more and more every week, though I’m not sure how much longer it’s going to go. There’s an interesting sickness to Kidman luring London in to hurt his ribs even more to teach him a lesson. The story is getting inside Kidman’s head, which is all the better when it came off a story that was dropped in their lap.

Post match London gets checked on and Kidman blames the fans for making him do it. With London strapped to a board, Kidman drops another shooting star in a great heel move.

Here’s how Undertaker won the World Title again, this time at Wrestlemania XIII.

JBL wants to know why this show is biased towards the Undertaker. It’s like this lying liberal media to be so biased against him. He won’t guarantee a win, but he says Undertaker is taking the title over his dead body.

Tag Team Titles: Rene Dupree/Kenzo Suzuki vs. Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio

Van Dam and Mysterio are challenging. Before we get going, Suzuki completely butchers Born in the USA. It’s still not working and I’m not sure why WWE doesn’t understand that. Dupree dances at Van Dam to start and it’s quickly off to a pinfall reversal sequence for two each. Neither of them can hit an elbow and we get the standoff. Rey comes in to try his own luck, including a kick to send both champs outside. That means the stereo running flip dives to the floor as the champs are rocked again.

Back in and Rob gets shoved off the top though to give Suzuki his first control. A slam sets up the neck crank from Dupree, followed by a Suzuki knee drop for two. Rob fights up and brings in Mysterio to pick up the pace, including knocking Dupree outside. Dupree comes back in to break up the 619, earning himself a kick to the face and Rolling Thunder. Now the 619 can hit Suzuki but Dupree won’t let him Drop the Dime. That’s enough for Suzuki to roll Mysterio up, with a grab of the rope, for the retaining pin.

Rating: C-. Not the greatest match in the world but given who the champs were here, it wasn’t that bad. Mysterio and Van Dam are fine for a one off set of challengers and I could see the titles changing hands. It’s an above average TV match and that’s good enough to get by on a show like this.

We recap Big Show vs. Kurt Angle. Show returned and signed to face Angle, whose leg he had broken earlier in the year. Angle hadn’t forgotten it and shot Show with a tranquilizer dart before shaving him bald. Show is furious and out for revenge.

Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

No one is allowed at ringside. Show takes him straight into the corner and rubs some sweat onto Angle’s face before shoving him around. Back in and Angle’s various locks earn him some hip attacks in the corner and a toss across the ring. There’s a gorilla press slam and Angle heads outside again for a breather. Actually it’s enough for Kurt as he takes the countout loss. Cue Theodore Long to say not so fast because if Angle leaves, he’s done on Smackdown.

Angle has until ten to get inside and, despite tripping over the steps, makes it back in to keep going. Another toss has Angle in more trouble and another whip sends him over the post as it’s still all Show. Angle grabs a chair and gets it punched into his own head, followed by a bunch of chops in the corner.

The chokeslam is actually countered into an ankle lock, complete with the grapevine. It’s switched back to the regular version, allowing Show to kick Angle off, straight into the referee. That means some chair shots to the knee and a shift into the Ric Flair’s leg attack playbook. Some cranks on the leg keep Show in trouble and an Angle Slam (nice one too) gets two.

With the wrestling not working, Angle grabs the tranquilizer gun…which Show takes away and breaks over his knee. Showing a severe lack of intelligence (that’s one of the three I’s), Angle punches away and gets tossed into the air for a crash onto the mat. A chokeslam off the top destroys Kurt for good.

Rating: D+. I’ll give them points for giving Show the pin like this as that’s how you make him a star all over again. There’s little value in bringing him back and having him lose so ti’s the right call with the huge finisher to get a pin on one of the top stars of the show. Show won’t be at this level for long, so get what you can out of it while you can.

Post match, Jindrak and Reigns help Angle to the back.

We recap John Cena vs. Booker T. Cena was US Champion back in the summer but had it taken away by corrupt GM Kurt Angle. Theodore Long took over and made Booker defend the title in a Best of 5 series, with the first four matches being split two apiece. Tonight is the big finale.

US Title: Booker T. vs. John Cena

Booker is defending in the fifth match of the Best of 5 series and since it’s whoever wins the match wins the title, Cena can win the title via countout or DQ. Cena starts fast with a shoulder but gets slowed down via a front facelock. There won’t be any of this going slowly thing as Cena clotheslines him over the top with a hard shot. Back in and Booker elbows him in the face, followed by a second trip to the floor. Since they’ve already traded trips to the floor, they trade whips into the steps as well, just to keep things even.

They get back inside with Booker nailing a superkick for two, setting up the chinlock that you knew was coming at some point. A suplex gives Booker two more and it’s the chinlock sequel. This one is broken up with a fisherman’s suplex but Booker is right back with a high flapjack. The side kick misses though and Booker crotches himself on the ropes. Cena’s comeback is on with the Shuffle getting two. He takes too long pumping up the shoes though and walks into the Book End for a rather near fall. Booker goes for and then drops a chair so Cena hits an FU for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. Well ok then. This certainly was a match between the two of them but it was far from anything impressive. Cena kicking out of the Book End wasn’t much of a false finish and then he just hit the FU to win the title back with little fanfare. The entire series was little more than a way to fill time before Cena got the big win. That’s fine enough, but this wasn’t anything worth your time, much like the rest of the series.

Remember when Undertaker won the World Title at Unforgiven 1999?

Dudley Boyz/Dawn Marie vs. Charlie Haas/Rico/Jackie Gayda

D-Von and Charlie start, though not before Bubba does his fake start. A backdrop has Charlie in early trouble so Dawn tags herself in to lower her shorts and show off the thong. Jackie comes in instead and rips off Dawn’s top as Cole and Tazz make stiff jokes. Bubba grabs Jackie’s hair from the apron and comes in as Rico and Charlie are fine with just sticking their hands out from the apron.

Ever the genius, Bubba closes his eyes for a kiss, allowing Jackie to tag in Rico, who gives Bubba that kiss. The expected reaction is of course hilarious and Bubba is nearly vomiting. D-Von comes in and gets kicked in the face a few times so Bubba makes the save with a good crotching. It’s back to Bubba for some choking as Tazz accuses Cole of being a metrosexual freak. Bubba tells Rico what to kiss but spends too much time yelling (Bubba? Talking too much?) and gets DDT’d.

The double tag brings in Charlie to face D-Von as Cole gets on Tazz for spending too much time talking about Dawn’s underwear. Are they trying to replicate JR and Lawler? Like Cole would ever work on Raw. Rico comes in off a blind tag with a high crossbody but we get to the catfight that everyone was waiting for. D-Von can’t bring himself to What’s Up Rico so Charlie breaks it up instead. Jackie spears Dawn for another catfight and Rico moonsault D-Von for the pin.

Rating: C. I laughed a few times and that’s all this was supposed to be. Rico and Haas work well together in the oddball tag team and the soap opera stuff is working well enough. As long as they don’t hide what they’re going for and pretend that it’s anything other than a corny story, they’re going to be fine as it’s what these women are best at.

Undertaker, fourth title win, Judgment Day 2002.

We recap JBL vs. the Undertaker. They fought at Summerslam with Undertaker chokeslamming him through the limousine so tonight it’s a Last Ride match, meaning a casket match but with an ambulance instead. JBL has sent various minions after Undertaker with the same success that minions ever have against him.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Undertaker is challenging and after his two hour and fourteen minute entrance, we’re ready to go. The stomping in the corner starts fast and Old School keeps the champ in trouble. Bradshaw fights back but gets chokeslammed in short order. Some apron elbows set up the apron legdrop and a whip into the steps makes things even worse. JBL gets smart and uses the steps to hit Undertaker in the head for his first offense, even though it was more defense than anything else.

A big boot and step shot to the head have Undertaker down against the barricade in the aisle as this is starting to drag. It’s not so much what they’re doing now, but more that you know they’re going to go back to the ring for a long time before the match is over. JBL can’t get the hearse open so Undertaker gets in a shot and they stumble back to the ring. A top rope shoulder (not bad) puts Undertaker down again but he pulls JBL into the triangle choke so they can lay down for a bit.

JBL saves himself from going through the announcers’ table and they fight into the crowd. Undertaker gets the better of it (well duh) and they come back to ringside for a Tombstone on the steps. The champ comes up bleeding but is fine enough to chair Undertaker in the head. A monitor to the head wakes Undertaker up enough to chokeslam JBL through the table.

They go up the aisle, the hearse is opened, and Heidenreich jumping out to take care of Undertaker. We go way old school with Heidenreich busting out some ether to knock Undertaker out and throw him in the hearse to retain JBL’s title. Actually hang on as just closing the door doesn’t count as Undertaker pops out and beats up Heidenreich but gets taken down by the Clothesline From JBL. Now JBL and Heidenreich can throw him in for the real win.

Rating: D. The violence was entertaining, though the problem here was the same thing that happens in every JBL match: it’s not about what you’re seeing but rather how can they have JBL escape with the title again. That makes for a long twenty minutes and now we’re moving towards Undertaker vs. Heidenreich while we find a new challenger to put over JBL as we start the whole thing all over again. What’s surprising here is that JBL is actually finding him rhythm as a heel and has been pretty good. Just find a way to make the matches better.

Post match JBL brags about being immortal and we cut to the back where Heidenreich, at Paul Heyman’s direction, drives a truck into the side of the hearse to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Bad opener and way too long main event aside, this was a watchable enough show that didn’t have me losing my mind at any given point. That’s a good place to be in for a Smackdown pay per view, though there are some issues that need to be fixed. The lower card is the best part of the show at the moment and I’ll take good stuff where I can get it. I even liked parts of this one, which is actually surprising this far into the JBL title reign. Fix the problems around there and they’ll have something.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 30, 2004
Location: Kansas Coliseum, Wichita, Kansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for No Mercy and the big story coming out of last week’s show was the return of Mark Jindrak of all people, who seems to have joined forces with Kurt Angle and Luther Reigns to form a rather odd trio. They got together and shaved Big Show’s head, which can’t possibly go well. Other than that we’re in for more JBL vs. Undertaker, which isn’t the most thrilling stuff in the world. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Big Boss Man.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Angle to get things going. Back in 1996, he promised to win a Gold Medal with a broken neck. In 2000, he promised to win the WWE Championship in his rookie year. Then last week he promised to deliver a Smackdown moment like there never has been before. He delivered on that as well and of course we get the highlight package, including Jindrak making the save.

Today, Angle would have taken the pin and then done the haircut, so there were a few things they did better back in 2004. Back in the arena, Angle talks about Show injuring him in April and now last week it was time for retribution. Angle brags about humiliating Show last week but knows the people here won’t appreciate his greatness.

There are two people that will though, so here are Jindrak and Luther Reigns, who have bags of Show’s hair. Before anything can be said, here’s Theodore Long, who thinks the score between Show and Angle is even. Therefore, Jindrak and Reigns are barred from ringside at No Mercy and if anyone interferes, they’re fired. It’s going to be the Gold Medal Tyrant vs. the Big Bald Giant.

Dudley Boyz vs. Rico/Charlie Haas

Dawn Marie is on commentary and drops a mini bombshell: Charlie and Jackie Gayda are engaged…but Charlie has been all over her lately. With Dawn drooling over Charlie, Bubba slams him down as we talk about Charlie’s trunks, which is about as interesting as you might guess. Rico comes in and it’s time for the comedy portion. After Bubba is allowed to readjust his pants, it’s off to D-Von as Dawn talks about playing games with Charlie last night.

Rico tries running the ropes, stops and realizes that he’s not running to the right one, and then goes to the right one so Bubba can pull him down by the hair. Charlie gets knocked to the floor and the girls get in an argument over who gets to check on him, leaving Bubba to stomp on Rico. A chinlock is broken up and it’s back to Charlie for the right hands and suplexes. Charlie goes up for a spinning high crossbody, even though D-Von isn’t really and Charlie lands on a kneeling D-Von’s back. After some obvious apologizing on Charlie’s part, the girls get in a fight on the floor, leaving the 3D to finish Charlie.

Rating: D. They certainly started that angle up fast and while it’s the kind of soap opera stuff that WWE loves to run, Dawn isn’t the most interesting person in the world to listen to. I’ll give them credit for trying to do something with the people they have though, which is often a problem for all the people on the roster. Not a good match, but the wrestling wasn’t the point here.

Josh Matthews is very excited for John Cena’s rap about Booker T. but Cena shoves him away in a Rock/Coach impression. Cena says Booker is the five time but he’s the one time, which Booker stole and put around his own waist. At No Mercy, Cena is taking it back. This was the serious style promo with no rapping or rhyming, which was a nice change of pace from Cena and a flash of what he had in him.

A freaked out Paul Heyman is in the aisle, screaming for Heidenreich to get off the Smackdown fist. Are we about to see a suicide? Well let’s come back from a break first. Back with Heidenreich reading a poem about how he wants people to listen to him. He’s upset so he’ll destroy the world soon.

Undertaker is standing next to a hearse and promises to make No Mercy his last ride.

JBL lists off a bunch of people Undertaker has beaten over the years but Undertaker has never beaten him. In three days, JBL ends the reign of terror because he has a plan. That plan begins tonight when he beats up Hardcore Holly…who jumps him from behind. Any plan that involves Hardcore Holly is not a good idea.

Booker T. vs. Paul London

Non-title and London comes in with a broken nose. Booker elbows him down to start so London is right back up with a dropkick for a quick near fall. Billy Kidman comes out to watch as Booker stomps in the corner. Another kick to the face gets London out of trouble but a look at Kidman delays the 450 long enough for Booker to roll away. The ax kick finishes London in a hurry.

Post match Booker grabs a chair but Kidman takes it away. I think you know what’s coming next and it leaves London laying so Kidman can shout that London doesn’t understand.

Carlito is here next week.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Hardcore Holly

Non-title and there’s no Orlando Jordan to be seen. Holly shoulders him into the corner for some chops to start but a thumb to the eye gets the champ out of trouble. A running clothesline puts him back in it though, as well as out on the floor. JBL whips him into the steps but takes too long coming back in, allowing Holly to powerslam him out of the air for two.

The big boot gives JBL two of his own and he takes Holly up top. A superplex attempt is countered and Holly hits a top rope clothesline for two more. JBL kicks him down and tries a powerbomb, which is countered into an Alabama Slam as we take an abrupt break. Back with Holly busted open (steps to the head during the break) and the referee telling JBL to back off. A boot to the face against the ropes is enough to get JBL disqualified.

Rating: C. I think we can safely call this one a minor miracle as they were having a pretty rocking little match before the abrupt ending and the lame ending. I like the ending showing JBL’s aggressive side, but if I’m supposed to buy him as being serious enough to hang with Undertaker, he shouldn’t be going toe to toe with Hardcore Holly.

Post match JBL chairs Holly in the head (loud shot) and hits the Clothesline From JBL. After mocking and calling Undertaker out for a bit, the gong strikes and Undertaker appears on screen. He says it started with four and then he got rid of Mideon and Viscera. Then it was three because he got Orlando, who is tied to an Undertaker symbol in the rafters. On Sunday, JBL takes his last ride. That is the most glossed over crucifixion in WWE history.

Nunzio vs. Spike Dudley

Non-title and we have Johnny Stamboli and the Dudleys at ringside. Spike climbs over the rope to escape a headlock so Nunzio lets go, dropping Spike down on his face. That’s a more clever move than I was expecting here. An anklescissors into a rollup gives Nunzio two and Bubba is nervous enough to be on the apron.

The distraction lets Spike take him down and grab a neckbreaker for two. The chinlock goes on as Tazz and Cole exchange fat jokes. Nunzio fights up and gets a belly to back suplex for the break. The Sicilian Slice connects but the referee has to deal with D-Von and Johnny fighting on the floor. Bubba trips Nunzio so Spike can cover, only to be reversed into a rollup for the upset pin.

Rating: D+. The chinlock took away a lot of the life this had, though I’m more curious about why the Italians are being pushed as faces. They’re not great heels or anything but it doesn’t exactly feel right. Then again, it helps to have someone fresh go after Spike, whose time as champion is long past ready to end.

Raw Rebound.

Big Show, in the shadows, talks about being helpless for the first time in his life. He’s keep his head bald to remind himself of those feelings before he gets his hands on Angle. The lights come on over Show’s eyes as he promises no mercy on Sunday.

Here’s a look at some of the contestants for Tough Enough, including Daniel Rodmier, Drew Henkinson (Luke Gallows) and Bryan Kelly (Byron Saxton).

Eddie Guerrero/Rob Van Dam vs. Luther Reigns/Mark Jindrak

Van Dam is a surprise mystery partner. The fight is on in a hurry and Rob dives over the top onto Jindrak. We officially start with Van Dam kicking Reigns in the face and hitting a very early Five Star for two with Jindrak having to make a save. Back from a break with Van Dam crossbodying Jindrak for two and bringing in Eddie off a clothesline. Rolling Thunder connects to give Eddie two and a backdrop from Jindrak doesn’t have much effect.

Eddie knocks him down again and does the spinning boot over the eyes to keep Jindrak in trouble. A Reigns distraction lets Jindrak put on a chinlock but Eddie dances his way up. It’s back to Van Dam, who gets low bridged to the floor to put the good guys in trouble for the first time. The bearhug goes on back inside for a few seconds, followed by a heck of a whipping spinebuster for two. With the power having run its course, Reigns punches away and even draws Eddie in with an elbow to the jaw.

Van Dam gets caught in the chinlock for all of a few seconds before he gets up and goes to the middle rope. That means the springboard kick to the face but Van Dam slips and even a camera cut can’t hide the fact that his kick missed by about a foot. Reigns sells it anyway of course and Rob hits a very fast spinning legdrop to at least keep him down.

It’s back to Eddie for a headscissors on Jindrak and a springboard wristdrag to Reigns with another headscissors to Jindrak at the same time. Eddie isn’t done with Jindrak as he hits Three Amigos to set up the frog splash. Reigns makes a save and Rolls the Dice (much closer to a reverse DDT with Eddie almost landing on the side of his head) to give Jindrak the pin.

Rating: D-. This was really sloppy at times and there were points where it felt like they were in different books. It takes a lot to make Eddie look lost out there but they were getting close out there at a few different times. Reigns isn’t very good at the actual wrestling stuff and messing up his already bad finisher while also selling a kick that didn’t hit him made it even worse. Really bad match here, though they were at least trying.

A No Mercy music video, including what appears to be Rey Mysterio/Van Dam vs. Rene Dupree/Kenzo Suzuki for the Tag Team Titles being announced.

Overall Rating: D+. The wrestling here didn’t work all that well (Hardcore Holly and JBL having the match of the night?) but I’m somewhat more interested in seeing the pay per view than I was before. The music video at the end worked for a change of pace and I like it better than having Cole and Tazz sit there and talk about things. Some of the stuff really didn’t work here (the main event and Heidenreich spring to mind) but Sunday is looking better, even if it’s not something I want to see.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 27, 2004
Location: Kemper Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting closer to Taboo Tuesday and that means the voting is going to become a factor. In other words, expect a lot of people asking for votes from fans on various topics, many of which are likely to be established in the coming weeks. Either way HHH will wind up looking awesome because that’s just what he does. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Big Boss Man. That’s a sad one.

Opening sequence.

Eric Bischoff is in the ring to talk about Taboo Tuesday. He REALLY doesn’t like the idea of fans making these matches because fans don’t know how to pick what they want on pay per view. He’ll do it anyway though because here are the four choices for whom HHH can face for the World Heavyweight Title: Shawn Michaels, Chris Benoit, Edge and Randy Orton. Actually hang on though, as Orton isn’t getting in there that easily. He can only be on the ballot if he defeats Batista in a No DQ match.

This brings out a ticked off HHH to say this isn’t happening. He doesn’t come to this guy’s job and tell him when the fries are done and he doesn’t tell this girl which street corner to work. The truth of the matter is it doesn’t matter who he faces at Taboo Tuesday because he’s leaving as champion. As for tonight, the fans can have some choices: go screw yourselves, rot in h***, try to get life, or roll yourself up into a tight little ball….and here’s democracy hater Shelton Benjamin to interrupt. Shelton has some choices for HHH: quit whining, quit complaining, cut out the crying or get it on right now.

Shelton Benjamin vs. HHH

Non-title. This was at least scheduled for later so they did have something planned for the show. Shelton goes right after him to start and hammers away both on the mat and in the corner. The Stinger Splash misses though and Shelton goes shoulder first into the post. Back from a break with Shelton getting taken down by the bad arm as HHH goes into full Arn Anderson mode. A nip up gets Shelton out of an armbar so HHH goes up top to separate the shoulder like he did to Eugene.

You don’t go up top on Shelton though as he runs the ropes and armdrags HHH down for a breather. The Dragon Whip connects and a hard Russian legsweep keeps the champ in trouble. There’s the top rope clothesline (called a modified bulldog by JR) for two more and now the Stinger Splash sends HHH outside. Shelton follows and it’s a belt shot to the head for the DQ, meaning HHH has still never beaten Benjamin.

Rating: C. Just a run of the mill match between these two as HHH still can’t figure Benjamin out but Shelton is never winning the title because he’s not HHH. Much like the post-Unforgiven Raw, this was HHH selling a lot but getting to leave with the title, which has been the problem for a very long time now.

Post match HHH Pedigrees him on the floor and gets to pose with the title.

We recap Christy Hemme winning the Diva Search last week.

The Simon System will work for you!

Hurricane/Rosey vs. Rhyno/Tajiri

Rosey and Hurricane have been “frustrated” lately, probably because they’re barely ever on the show. Tajiri slugs away at Rosey to start, which goes about as well as you would expect. Rhyno likes the challenge of a big Samoan so he shouts a lot and throws hard shoulders, which finally take Rosey down. Notice that the fans pop big for the knockdown, because Rhyno built up the idea and the fans are behind him so they want to see him get it done.

Hurricane comes in for a high crossbody as Tajiri makes a save. The Tarantula has Hurricane in even more trouble so Rosey makes his own save with a kick to the head. Hurricane ducks a Gore to send Rhyno into the corner, followed by a blind tag to Rosey. A big spinning Rock Bottom finishes Tajiri.

Rating: D+. I like most of the people in this match so it’s hard to get annoyed at them having a quick one. It’s nice to have people fighting to become #1 contenders instead of having them face the champions over and over again. That’s what happens when you have more than two teams in the division and it can work just fine.

Mick Foley and JBL are going to have a debate. I’ve heard worse ideas.

Long recap of Gene Snitsky causing Lita to miscarry.

We get a sitdown interview with Kane, though Lita is still in a state of shock. She won’t eat and isn’t moving because they found out it was going to be a baby boy. Now their son is dead and it’s all because of Gene Snitsky.

Smackdown Rebound.

Benoit talks to William Regal about Taboo Tuesday when Eugene comes in with a pair of scissors. He wants to be like Brutus Beefcake but Regal has an idea.

Gene Snitsky vs. Val Venis

On his way to the ring, Snitsky insists that it WAS NOT his fault, but he’ll meet Kane next week in Madison Square Garden. Snitsky goes with the standard book of heel offense grade one beatdown to start as the fans call him a baby killer. A kick to the face sets up the chinlock but Venis gets in some low dropkicks. The Money Shot misses though and Snitsky kicks him in the face, setting up a pumphandle powerslam for the fast pin.

Wrestlemania sold out in less than one minute.

Here’s Ric Flair for a chat. He doesn’t like the idea of Orton calling himself a legend or talking about greatness, because that only applies to a select group. Orton was great because he was World Champion, but Flair hears Orton calling himself the Legend Killer. Who did Flair kill? Was it Shawn Michaels? He’s a great performer but no legend. Harley Race is a legend but Flair wore him out every time he was in this building.

Bret Hart (never been in a ring with Orton) is sitting at home looking in the mirror and Flair doesn’t think he’s a legend. Hulk Hogan (same as Hart) is an aspiring Hollywood star and no legend. Or is it a human stunt man like Mick Foley? The only legend who can walk that aisle and look as only he can look. Flair yells about being a sixteen time sixteen time sixteen time (he channeled Diamond Dallas Page there) World Champion and until Orton beats him, he’s no legend killer.

This brings out Orton to say that Flair is a legend that Orton idolized as he was growing up. He would even put on his dad’s bathrobe and practice the strut. Orton couldn’t have beaten Benoit without him, which is what makes it so tragic to see what Flair has become. Flair tells him to not go there because Flair and HHH have something special.

That’s too far for Orton, who can’t imagine the Flair he grew up watching would ever say that (absolutely true). Flair is just a glorified cheerleader these days but Orton knows he wants to stand up to him like only Flair can do. Only Flair can stand up to something like this because a true legend can stand up for himself. Great promo from Orton, but I don’t buy a Flair face turn whatsoever.

Shawn Michaels/Chris Jericho vs. Christian/Tyson Tomko

Rematch from a few weeks ago. It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Shawn getting caught in the corner. That’s broken up with a knee lift of freedom, allowing the tag to Jericho to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and Christian is thrown over the top onto Tomko as we take an early break. Back with Jericho in trouble, though actually not in a chinlock for a change. That really is a modern thing and something that needs to go away.

A sunset flip isn’t enough for the tag off to Shawn as Christian cuts things off. Well he is the tag team expert. A neckbreaker sets up a neck crank until Jericho pops up and enziguris Tomko. Shawn comes back in to take over with the usual with Tomko being sent over the top. Jericho breaks up an Unprettier attempt and hits the Lionsault on Christian but gets sent outside by Tomko. Sweet Chin Music drops Tomko but Christian rolls Shawn up and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a weird one as the match just came and went without much time due to the commercial. Building to Shawn vs. Christian is fine, but Shawn is going to be a heavy favorite on the Taboo Tuesday ballot so it’s going to have to be on a big TV show or wait a long time. They’re doing a nice enough job of building Christian up though and that’s a good idea.

HHH fires up Batista, who is ready to destroy Orton once and for all tonight. HHH tells him not to worry about Flair.

William Regal and Eugene are in the ring with three unknown guys. Tonight, Regal is going to let Eugene practice the three stipulations for his match with Bischoff. First up we have a guy dressed as a butler, who thinks he would be a better servant than Bischoff. Regal disagrees, because he’s seen the messes that Eugene makes. The second guy is in a dress, who thinks he would look better than Bischoff. Regal says he reminds him of an old girlfriend with ugly feet.

Finally we have a guy in a chair (who says his name is Scott Colton but isn’t Colt Cabana) who has agreed to have his head shaved. This brings out Bischoff to say Eugene isn’t shaving his head at Taboo Tuesday. Instead Bischoff kicks the guy getting his hair cut and runs. This must be something that sounded a lot better on paper because it really didn’t work in execution.

There was a Taboo Tuesday press conference.

Next week: Shawn vs. Christian. That makes some more sense.

Here are Trish Stratus, Gail Kim and Molly Holly to welcome Christy Hemme to the roster. After making fun of the Diva Search (fair enough), they bring Christy out and the one fan sign they show for her spells her name wrong. Trish won’t let her talk so Christy takes the mic away to thank the fans. It’s an honor to be here and she’ll make us all proud. That’s all good with Trish, who accuses Christy of sleeping her way into the finals.

Carmella pops up on screen to show off those Playboy level acting abilities as she talks about how no one would really pick Christy over her. It was Christy who robbed her of a quarter million dollars. Back in the ring, Trish is ready to give Christy her first match: a three on one handicap bra and panties match.

Christy Hemme vs. Victoria/Molly Holly/Trish Stratus

Christy loses in about ten seconds, as this stupid thing is still not over because WWE doesn’t know when to just let things go.

Post match Christy doesn’t seem to mind being in her underwear and says she’s perfectly comfortable like this. Given that they had her out there in swimsuits for two months, this really shouldn’t be shocking.

Batista asks a stoic Flair if he’s ready to go but Flair says he’ll be out there when he wants to be.

Randy Orton vs. Batista

No DQ and if Orton loses, he’s off the Taboo Tuesday ballot. Orton starts fast with a Thesz press but walks into a spinebuster for his efforts. A trip to the floor means a whip into the steps and some choking on the apron. Back in and a side slam gets two despite Orton’s shoulder being so far off the mat that it annoys JR. The slow beating continues as Orton’s hero status continues to dwindle. Orton avoids a charge to send Batista into the corner but here’s HHH because it’s No DQ.

The power of European uppercuts get Orton out of trouble and a DDT plants Batista. HHH takes Orton down though and grabs a chair….and here’s Ric. The fans are very into this as Flair takes the chair, which of course he uses on Orton because they set this up and did the swerve in about an hour. The Batista Bomb ends Orton as he loses again.

Rating: D+. You know, if they want Orton to be the big star and the guy HHH is running from, it might help if he was booked strong for a change. This was another instance of HHH getting the upper hand and posing with the title, as the Flair thing lasted all of forty five minutes. I know HHH got sent into a cake, but I’m thinking the fans might need something more than that.

Overall Rating: D. There were some entertaining parts to the show but for the most part, the Taboo Tuesday build isn’t working. The problem continues to be that you can’t really build towards a match when you don’t know who is involved, which is the case with the biggest match on the show. The big angle here would suggest Orton vs. Flair, but my goodness they couldn’t draw things out for another week or two before having Flair turn on Orton? I’m worried about how bad this is going to get before the show, because they’re off to a really bad start.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 23, 2004
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re coming up on No Mercy and that means it’s time to really get things going. Well as much as things can get going around here. The big story coming out of last week was Big Show deciding to face Kurt Angle at the pay per view, again because WWE doesn’t know how contracts actually work. The card isn’t looking thrilling but maybe they’ll get better tonight. Oh and it’s the fifth anniversary of the show so things might be a little different tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Vince McMahon welcomes us to the show and thanks us for five years. More great memories will be made tonight. Nothing wrong with that.

Opening sequence, and a new one at that. No words to the theme song, but an update was needed.

New graphics too, now with a white background.

Billy Kidman vs. Paul London

Kidman’s head doesn’t seem to be in the game…and he walks out for the countout after about a minute without making a single bit of contact.

Hang on though as we have a replacement.

Booker T. vs. Paul London

Non-title. Booker jumps him fast to start and elbows London in the face for two. London has a busted nose but he comes back with a middle rope kick to the jaw to take over more than you might have expected. A hot shot gets Booker out of trouble though and we hit the double arm crank. London makes the comeback with a variety of kicks to the head for two but Booker rolls through a crossbody and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin. Ignore London’s shoulder being about eight inches off the mat.

Rating: C-. It was energetic while it lasted and that’s all I can ask for in something like this. I’m not sure why Booker came out for a match like this as he tends to be a somewhat cowardly champion but London got in some offense and Booker had to cheat to win. Not too bad here and when you consider how short it was, the match looks a little better.

Post match Booker says he’ll treat John Cena even worse but London jumps him from behind and leaves.

Cole won’t talk about Heidenreich but he’ll throw us to a Mick Foley video, talking about his favorite Smackdown moment. It’s from after a show went off the air when Rock was doing his shtick but dropped his sunglasses. They both stood there until Foley picked them up and got a “The Rock thanks you for that.” The transformation from Mankind into Cactus Jack gets a quick mention.

Kidman is about to leave when Theodore Long comes in to say he made a match and wanted to see it. Just like everyone wants to see Kidman doing the shooting star press. The match is going to happen and if it doesn’t, Kidman is fired.

Spike Dudley and Rey Mysterio have a staredown but Spike doesn’t want this set up as him stabbing Rey in the back. Rey thinks he’s loco and speaks some Spanish but here’s Kenzo Suzuki to tell Rey that he’ll be sorry. That means a shot to Suzuki’s face and Rey running.

Smackdown Throwback: Rock makes Coach do the Charleston. That was always a great pairing.

Some Phoenix Suns are here and don’t seem to want to look at the camera.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is defending and has Bubba and D-Von in his corner. Rey starts fast by sending Spike face first into the corner and then he does it again for good measure. Bubba comes in for a cheap shot but gets caught, meaning it’s a double ejection. With Spike panicking, Rey hits a baseball slide but the referee won’t let him hit a dive. Instead Rey dives over the referee, in a spot straight out of ECW.

Back in and they bump heads for a break so abrupt that Cole has to apologize for it after the commercial. Rey goes shoulder first into the post but crotches the champ on top for the super hurricanrana. They’re certainly going back and forth here. The springboard spinning crossbody hits the referee, leaving Rey to load up the 619. Cue Suzuki and Rene Dupree to lay Mysterio out though and Spike retains.

Rating: C. I really don’t know what they see in Spike getting this kind of a push, though he’s certainly not the worst. It’s more along the lines of he’s not interesting and I don’t buy Bubba and D-Von as being intimidated or scared of him. They telegraphed the interference ending too and it didn’t help things. What we got was watchable, though this title reign has run its course.

Post match the beatdown is on until Rob Van Dam makes the save.

Video on the Wrestlemania XXI press conference. HHH gets in a good line by saying Hollywood is going Wrestlemania.

Stephanie McMahon’s favorite Smackdown moment was slapping her mom because it was hard for her to do. Or the mixed tag match where she was knocked off the apron and got knocked out on the steps because HHH came out and carried her to the back. Later that night, Kurt Angle kissed her, but he’s the worst kisser in the world.

Long makes Mysterio/Van Dam vs. Dupree/Suzuki for the titles at No Mercy. Long: “Fo shizzle fizzle.” Dupree: “FO SHIZZLE FIZZLE???”

Cole still doesn’t want to talk about Heidenreich but Tazz makes us watch a clip anyway. They try to say it was because Heidenreich was pulling on Cole’s arm but…what else is there to say about something like this? I can’t believe they actually showed it again.

Heidenreich is on his way to the ring but stops in Vince’s office instead, allowing Cole to calm down a bit.

Smackdown Throwback: Big Show and Brock Lesnar break the ring. That’s still a great visual.

Gangrel/Viscera vs. Undertaker

Fallout from last week with JBL hiring the former Ministry goons. Speaking of JBL, here he is in the limo, driving through Undertaker’s smoke for a somewhat cool visual. Viscera misses a charge in the corner (he never was that bright) and Undertaker punches Mideon without much trouble. Big boots abound but Viscera grabs a chokebomb to cut him off. The big splash gives Viscera two but a second attempt misses, allowing Undertaker to clothesline Gangrel. Undertaker cleans house with ease and the Tombstone finishes Gangrel. This was exactly what it should have been.

Post match Undertaker chokeslams (eh close enough) Viscera and crushes his throat with a chair while looking at JBL. A lot of pointing and posing ensues.

Heidenreich tells Vince that they’re similar but Vince doesn’t get where this is going. It’s a poem actually about how no one knows him, and that is a poem by Heidenreich.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

They’re both schoolgirls….but here’s Long to interrupt before anything can start. Actually hang on a second (playa) because he has a better idea.

Fabulous Moolah/Mae Young vs. Dawn Marie/Torrie Wilson

And yes they’re all schoolgirls. We go to the “comedy” with Mae and Dawn taking turns grabbing the referee’s pants. Torrie comes in and tries a sunset flip, with Mae sitting down on it for more laughter. There’s the required Bronco Buster and it’s off to Dawn vs. Moolah. Dawn loses her top to the first real pop of the match and a schoolgirl finishes Marie, thank goodness.

Rating: F. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the Diva Search, it’s that WWE can indeed manage to screw up good looking women in nice outfits. I get the idea here but egads it’s just not funny. At least they beat up the models instead of the wrestlers and that’s about all the positives you can say about this one.

Steve Austin’s favorite Smackdown moment: the first Tribute to the Troops. Oh and singing to Vince McMahon, which really was a funny bit. So none of these people advertised last week are actually going to be here in person are they?

Billy Graham is here again, just like he was on Monday.

John Cena, on top of the production truck, talks about how great Smackdown has been over the years, even quoting the Rock’s greatest hits. Well that would be different today. He gets in a few Austin lines for a bonus before promising to win the Best of Five Series.

No Mercy rundown.

Kurt Angle demands our attention and lists off some great names he’s beaten on this show. Yet he wasn’t asked about his favorite Smackdown moment. That’s a disgrace, but not as much of a disgrace as Big Show. Last week Show signed up to face him at No Mercy, so tonight he’ll create his own Smackdown moment.

Hulk Hogan’s favorite Smackdown moment is winning the Tag Team Titles with Edge on the 4^th of July.

Kurt Angle/Luther Reigns vs. Big Show/Eddie Guerrero

Eddie and Angle start things off but it’s off to the power guys before any contact is made. Show shoves Reigns down but an Angle distraction lets Luther hammer away to very limited success. It’s back to Eddie to chop Reigns in the corner, followed by Three Amigos and a quick taunt to Angle. That’s enough to bring Angle in for a cheap shot and the villains take over for the first time.

Of course Angle is fine with going after Eddie on the mat but the threat of a Show right hand from the apron lets Eddie hit a quick hilo. Angle gets in his own suplex for two and the beating continues. The Angle Slam is countered with an armdrag though and Eddie nails a dropkick. Show comes back in for a chokeslam on Reigns but Angle breaks up a super frog splash.

Back from a break with Angle working on Eddie’s ankle off a variety of holds. Well at least he mixes it up a bit. Reigns comes in for hold that doesn’t seem like it would actually hurt but a suplex works a bit better. Thankfully Angle comes back in and grabs a better looking ankle hold, which Eddie reverses with an ankle lock of his own. With Angle and Reigns down, the hot tag brings in Show so house can be cleaned. A splash crushes both of them and it’s a side slam into the super frog splash (from Show’s shoulders) for…not the pin on Angle as Mark Jindrak runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C. It was your standard main event tag match until the pretty weak ending, though I can understand not jobbing Angle. What we got wasn’t bad though as Eddie is still one of the most popular faces on the show. Speaking of the show, the Big one is doing well enough as a face and is in the best shape I’ve seen him in in years, though the interest is probably limited.

Post match Jindrak takes out Eddie but Show gets his hands on him….so Angle whips out a tranquilizer dart gun and shoots Show in the back to make him wobble. Show tries to fight anyway but the dart sticking out of his back finally takes him down. With Show out, Jindrak runs to the back and comes back with scissors and hair clippers to leave Show bald, a look that he would have for the rest of his career. The haircut takes a long time to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Aside from the complete disaster that was Torrie and Dawn as schoolgirls (just go with it), this was a completely mediocre show with very little standing out and almost nothing I can remember by the ending. The show was completely watchable, but No Mercy is looking weaker and weaker by the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 20, 2004
Location: Tuscon Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the season premiere of Raw and that means….I’m not sure really as wrestling doesn’t have seasons. One thing tonight is the end of the Diva Search, meaning the segments that have managed to make great looking women in swimsuits a chore to sit through are over. Other than that, we’re coming up on Taboo Tuesday, which we don’t know much about. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Jim Barnett, a longtime promoter in the NWA and Australia.

Here’s Vince McMahon to open things up. After a quick welcome, he wants to get to the major announcement promised, which concerns everyone, including Eric Bischoff. This brings out a limping Bischoff (thanks to having a sledgehammer dropped on his fott a few weeks back) and Vince gets to the point. A few weeks ago, Chris Jericho suggested that the fans vote on a type of match. That’s a good idea, but what about doing it on a full pay per view?

Indeed, on October 19, we’ll be seeing a new concept called Taboo Tuesday (yes Tuesday) where the fans get to vote on everything from who gets a World Title shot to what the Divas are wearing. Bischoff loves the idea on paper but doesn’t think these people are capable of making such decisions. Vince is a busy man so maybe he should think about this for a week. Next Monday, Bischoff can have another idea that isn’t involving the fans taking control.

That sounds like patronizing to Vince, and there’s a reason that Bischoff is the GM of Raw and Vince isn’t the GM of Nitro (good line). Maybe Bischoff doesn’t like the idea because with the fans picking things, there’s no need for a GM. Actually, Vince thinks Bischoff should be wrestling that night, against this man. Cue the still injured Eugene and Bischoff isn’t sure what to do.

They’ll be facing off at Taboo Tuesday and the fans get to pick what happens to the loser. Vince even has options: the loser is the winner’s servant, the loser has to wear a dress, or the loser’s head is shaved. Bischoff immediately tries to talk Eugene out of the match because he loves his nephew. They could go out and get some ice cream tonight but Eugene knocks him out instead.

The fans didn’t exactly react to the concept, and I can’t say I blame them. As Bischoff said it’s good on paper, but I’m not sure how well it’s going to go in practice. On a related note though, how much better is it to have Eugene back at a level where he belongs? It’s probably way too late, but this was more charming than annoying and that’s a positive sign for him.

We look back at Randy Orton attacking HHH last week, including the cake. Orton got him at the end of the show as well, but HHH still left as champion so it’s not like it mattered all that much. Shelton Benjamin and Chris Benoit ran in for the save to end the show, meaning we’re probably in for a six man tonight.

Hey look there’s a six man tonight.

Stacy Keibler/Victoria vs. Molly Holly/Trish Stratus

In case you didn’t get enough of Stacy wrestling last week. Stacy mocks Molly’s dancing from last week because she frowns on culture. Victoria takes Trish down early to start and the standing moonsault (now minus the dancing) gets two. Molly comes in and walks into a powerslam as Lawler talks about getting to dress the Divas at Taboo Tuesday. A giant swing doesn’t work well for Victoria with the announcers mocking her for it, but thankfully it’s not time for a tag to Stacy just yet. The spinning side slam plants Trish and now it’s off to Stacy for two. Molly comes back in and gets caught in a backslide for the quick pin. Yay indeed.

Orton reads Raw Magazine because that’s what wrestlers do. Vince comes in and says “Sucks doesn’t it?” He’s talking about reality, which is what caused Orton to lose the title. Orton promises to win the title back because it’s his destiny. This interests Vince, who tells Orton to give it his all.

Billy Graham is here.

We look back at Gene Snitsky causing Kane to accidentally injury Lita last week.

Snitsky has been blamed all week but it wasn’t his fault. Last week Snitsky was there to do a job and he did that. To repeat, it wasn’t his fault!

Hurricane vs. Tajiri

This is fallout from a tag match on Heat. They fight over a wristlock to start until Tajiri kicks him in the face. Hurricane gets in a clothesline to set up a seated full nelson but Tajiri fights up without much effort. A tornado DDT is blocked and Tajiri gets in a superkick. Hurricane is right back with something like a neckbreaker but Tajiri reverses the cover into a crucifix for the fast pin.

Post match Hurricane is mad and takes the mask back from a fan. That’s quite the nice heel move.

Kane is at a medical facility (thankfully in street clothes instead of his gear) and says there is a 50/50 chance of saving the baby. Upon hearing Snitsky’s name, Kane gets a lot angrier and vengeance seems to be sworn. So this is the start of Kane’s face turn, though it’s still not the nicest of scenarios.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

Jericho is defending and has hacked his hair off for a pretty bad look. Christian comes out for commentary as a bonus. As expected, they fight over arm control to start until Shawn takes him down with a headlock. Back up and Shawn gets sent over the top so the cat get skinned, allowing him to come off the top with a high crossbody, which gets rolled through for two. A backbreaker keeps Shawn in trouble as Christian dubs himself the Show Stealer, which is much better than the Showstopper.

Jericho’s superplex attempt is broken up without much effort and Shawn hits the early top rope elbow. That’s enough for Christian, who goes to the ring to steal the show. He manages to get in but Shawn knocks him right back out, only to walk into the enziguri from Jericho. Christian gets ejected (wrestling referees have no jurisdiction over commentators) and we take a break. Back with Shawn starting in on the leg and grabbing the Figure Four. That’s broken up in a hurry so Shawn gets smart and stays on the leg.

Jericho grabs a small package for the break and kicks Shawn down, only to jam his knee on a Lionsault attempt. The rapid fire pinfall reversal sequence gives us some good near falls until Jericho takes him down again and scores with the Lionsault this time around. Jericho goes with the straight right hands this time around but Shawn is right back up with the forearm into the nipup. Shawn nips up and gets caught in the Walls, only to have Jericho let go and dropkick the invading Tyson Tomko down. That’s enough for Sweet Chin Music to connect but a very, very slow crawl over for the cover draws Christian in for the DQ.

Rating: B. It was good while it lasted and I can understand why they went with the DQ finish. It’s annoying, but Shawn isn’t going to be Intercontinental Champion and Jericho isn’t ready to lose the thing yet. Christian and Tomko are almost annoying at this point though, as the match was getting really good when the interference started.

Post match Christian shouts at Shawn and beats him up, which is one of the first times I’ve bought him as a bigger time heel.

Smackdown Rebound.

Kane has freaked out at the medical facility with a lot of screaming ensuing.

HHH complains to Evolution about the fans voting because fans are stupid. Flair tells HHH to calm down because he’s the best ever and all that jazz.

Long recap of the Diva Search, with the eliminated women talking about how much they learned about respecting the business. I’m not sure if I want to laugh or glare over a line that stupid.

Rob Conway vs. Maven

What are we doing here? Conway jumps Maven from behind to start as the USA chants start up in a hurry. Maven fights out of a chinlock and stops a charge in the corner before hitting a high crossbody. That’s rolled through to give Conway two (second time we’ve seen that spot in as many matches) before Maven hooks a small package for the pin. Nothing match and it’s still Maven.

Lita’s doctor says she lost the baby, because a doctor is going to do that on national television ten minutes after the fact. Kane comes out of the room and nearly kills the doctor but beats up a wall and screams instead. Hey the wall didn’t hurt your baby dude.

Simon Dean wants to help you lose weight. Seeing the Simon System advertised on VHS is so strange. Simon: “Remember, you can be fat, unattractive and die alone, or you can do the right thing and pick up the phone.”

JR and King do their somber voices about Lita losing the baby.

And now, the Diva Search finals, because WWE doesn’t know what a transition is. Coach mocks both of them and goes to get the envelope but here’s Trish, looking very out of place in a dress, to interrupt. After making fun of all the tasks the women have had to go through, she promises an official victory party for the winner next week. With Trish gone, Christy wins the contest and cheers a lot. She says it’s all about the energy and that she doesn’t need decaf. Carmella gives the lame “oh well it was fun” response doesn’t care about the booing. After some more lame answers, this whole thing is finally done, thank goodness.

Evolution vs. Randy Orton/Chris Benoit/Shelton Benjamin

Shelton knocks HHH down to start and thankfully the announcers bring up Shelton beating him a few times. A shoulder block just lets Shelton nip up so HHH tries the right hands. That goes badly as well as HHH gets backdropped, only to drive Shelton into the corner. So strength seems to work on Shelton, which is why HHH tags Flair instead of Batista. Some cerebral. Benoit tags himself in as well and it’s time for the chop off. Flair gets the worse of it and the Swan Dive connects for two as everything breaks down.

Orton loads up the RKO on the floor but gets posted, allowing Batista to hit the big clothesline. That means Orton needs medics and we take a break. Back with Shelton coming in off the hot tag to clean house and hitting a Stinger Splash on Flair. Batista misses a charge into the corner, though he comes nowhere near the post for a bit of a weird visual. HHH finally gets in a knee and Shelton is in trouble for a change.

Things slow down with Flair hammering away in the corner and HHH coming in without a tag, though Lawler is sure he saw one. I’ll take his word for it. The spinebuster gives HHH two and it’s back to Flair for the Figure Four. That’s broken up as well but Batista remembers that he’s in the match and works on the leg as well. The slow motion holds continue until Shelton kicks Batista in the face, allowing the hot tag to Benoit.

Everything breaks down (of course) and Benoit suplexes both Batista and Flair. HHH comes back in and takes one of his own, leaving Flair to get caught in the Sharpshooter. That’s broken up by HHH but here’s Orton to charge down the ramp and tag himself in. A few right hands send HHH running and the RKO finishes Flair.

Rating: C+. And thus it’s another attempt to get Orton a big moment. That’s all well and good, but having him already win and lose the title makes this feel out of place. The fans aren’t exactly enamored with Orton at the moment and having him taken out so Benoit and Benjamin can wrestle most of the match isn’t going to help things. The only thing that can make it better is him winning the title from HHH and being a hero, but that’s not going to happen because it’s HHH’s title and no one is getting over as a hero while that is the case.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling was pretty watchable this week but for the most part I kept wondering if this is what we were really doing. A lot of the show just felt like it was there for the sake of doing something with the time as we sit around and wait on the next big story. Orton, at least in this form, isn’t going anywhere anytime soon and that leaves us back where we were a year ago. Something needs to be shaken up around here very soon, but it might be a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 16, 2004
Location: Spokane Arena, Spokane, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re coming up on No Mercy and a lot of the card is either already set or pretty clear. Last week saw the return of the Big Show, who you know is going to be treated as a major star. To be fair, when he’s motivated and ready to go, he’s not half bad. The problem is when he’s more than half bad, which happens far too often. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Big Show returning and beating up the lumberjacks last week. That was a good way to showcase his dominance.

Opening sequence.

Torrie Wilson comes out to ring announce for the sake of eye candy.

Booker T. vs. John Cena

Match #4 in the Best of Five series with Booker up 2-1. Booker starts fast with an early rollup for two, followed by a backslide for the same. Cena’s sunset flip and small package get the same, plus a VERY enthusiastic reaction from a fan in the front row. That’s enough to send Booker outside for a breather as we take a break. Back with Booker kicking him in the face for two and grabbing one of the most quickly broken chinlocks I’ve ever seen. Booker is right back with a hard superkick for two and a longer chinlock.

A rollup with feet on the ropes gives Booker two but Cena’s flapjack is enough to actually start the comeback. The big shoulder misses though and Booker nails a spinebuster for two more. An attempt to bring in the belt gets Booker rolled up for two more and the Shuffle is good for the same. The referee gets shoved though and Booker nails him with the belt, as somehow the referee is fine with Cena going from normal to out in half a second. That’s only good for two as well, followed by a quick FU to tie up the series.

Rating: C+. They still have good chemistry together sot he match was easy to watch, though it’s not exactly something that is worth seeing. Cena is getting better and better every day at this point and you can feel his time starting to come. Booker is still a big enough deal to be a threat to him, but I don’t think there’s any hiding the fact that it’s Cena’s title to win soon.

Theodore Long praises Big Show for his return and offers Show a match with either Kurt Angle or Eddie Guerrero at No Mercy. Just please not a triple threat.

Next week: a night of stars as it’s the fifth anniversary of Smackdown! Hulk Hogan! Mick Foley! Stephanie McMahon! Yes Stephanie is listed third here! Vince McMahon! Steve Austin!

Michael Cole brings out Billy Kidman for a chat. Cole talks about Kidman losing his confidence over the botched shooting star press and costing himself and Paul London the Tag Team Titles last week (actually a pretty unique story). Kidman doesn’t like being called a quitter because he walked out on last week’s match to prevent another injury. He’s really just misunderstood because all he wants to do is keep people save. A few weeks ago his knee drove Chavo’s head into the mat and now these bloodthirsty fans want to see him do it again?

This brings out Paul London to say he doesn’t believe Kidman is misunderstood. Kidman walked out on him and cost them the titles because Kidman quit. London hands him the mic but Kidman has nothing to say, earning himself a slap in the face. Kidman walks away without saying anything. I’m liking this story.

Smackdown Flashback Moment: TLC III.

Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Dudley Boyz

D-Von punches Rob into the corner to start but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. It’s off to Mysterio for two off a Lionsault press to D-Von. Bubba comes in and gets punched as well, only to have Spike trip Rey up like a good villainous boss who happens to look 13 years old tends to do.

One heck of a release wheel barrow suplex gives Bubba two so he promises to do it again. Since he’s kind of loud, Rey knows what’s coming and reverses into his layout bulldog instead. That’s enough for the hot tag to Rob, who gets to kick D-Von in the face again. Near heel miscommunication ensues again, allowing Rey to dive onto Bubba. The Five Star finishes D-Von, despite a big bounce that delays the cover.

Rating: C-. I feel like we’ve seen this match a dozen times in recent months. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad one, but it’s something that has been done so many times before that it doesn’t have much of an impact. Spike as the Dudleys’ boss isn’t exactly getting them somewhere, though I can get the idea of trying to freshen the team up a little bit.

Post match Spike yells at both Dudleys, including a low blow to D-Von. Dang D-Von has taken quite the beating tonight.

Cole talks about last week’s situation with Paul Heyman and Heidenreich, so Tazz shows us a clip. Cole won’t apologize.

Eddie comes in to see Big Show and praises him for how awesome last week’s return was. It made him think of the Running of the Bulls, because there was one bull who stood 7’ and weighed 500lbs. Eddie: “That’s a lot of bull.” Show has two contracts, but Eddie wants the fight at No Mercy.

Orlando Jordan and JBL arrive with the champ saying he has to prove he’s not afraid of the Undertaker. That means calling him out again tonight.

Here’s JBL in the arena and I guess tonight meant next. He does not flip flop like so many political figures of today, so Undertaker can get out here RIGHT NOW. Undertaker comes out (thankfully the full sized version this time) and JBL actually sends Jordan to the back to do this one on one. The hat and tie come off and the fight begins, with Undertaker kicking him in the head.

The threat of a chokeslam sends JBL bailing but here are Gangrel and Viscera of all people to jump Undertaker. Viscera hits a chokebomb, which Cole calls a “variation of a double chokeslam into a sitout powerbomb.” Since that’s exactly what the move is, what is it a variation of? The beatdown cuts off Undertaker’s comeback and a pair of splashes keep him laying. JBL poses on Undertaker because he never learns.

Sign up for Tough Enough!

Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree vs. FBI

Non-title and now I’m supposed to cheer for the FBI? Tazz can’t understand why the Japanese Hiroko is walking around the French poodle. Earlier today, Nunzio and Stamboli agreed to stick with the game plan for the match. Dupree shoulders Stamboli to start with little effect. Some power puts Dupree in trouble so it’s off to Nunzio, who gets low bridged to the floor.

As the match goes on, here’s Heidenreich to kidnap Cole from the announcers’ table. With the two of them gone, Dupree hits the French Tickler….and now Tazz goes off to find Cole and Heidenreich. The hot tag brings in Stamboli to take over but Kenzo shoves Nunzio off the top. Dupree’s Michinoku Driver is enough to pin Stamboli. Too much of the match was spent on the announcers’ stuff, but that was more interesting than anything going on in the ring.

Raw Rebound.

And now, the scene where Heidenreich is implied to be raping Michael Cole. We go to the back where Cole is standing face first against a wall with Heidenreich behind him. The look on Cole’s face tells you just about all you need to know here and Heidenreich….uh….I guess the term would be thrusting, which shakes Cole at the same time, pretty much confirms it. Heidenreich says he’s been studying Cole and they “have the same desires.” Heidenreich: “I’m going to give you what you want.”

Heidenreich locks the door, making Cole look even more afraid. He keeps his face next to Cole’s ear and breathes, as this is one of those things where you can’t realistically say it’s anything else. I absolutely do not remember it being this blunt but my goodness man. That’s rather disturbing to see and it’s hard to believe this ever made air.

Luther Reigns comes in to see Big Show. He knows it’s a tough decision, but Show should pick Eddie. See, the WWE needs Angle around and Show already put him on the shelf for several months. The three of them are different and outcasts, because Eddie doesn’t care about Show. Reigns and Angle do though, and Show needs to think about that. They’re really making this out to be a big deal when Show might as well flip a coin.

Match #5 between Cena and Booker will take place at No Mercy. We still have no commentary to talk about this.

Heidenreich now has Cole by the throat and says he’s going to give Cole something he’s wanted to share with him since the moment he saw Cole for the first time. It’s a poem, which talks about how Heidenreich is a tortured soul and his heart was broken years ago. Cole goes to leave and gets out, only after Heidenreich commands and receives a thank you. Thus ends one of the most disturbing segments in Smackdown history.

Charlie Haas vs. Spike Dudley

Non-title and here’s Tazz again to do solo commentary and Bubba and D-Von are in Spike’s corner. Charlie takes him down with an amateur hold to start, followed by a rather fast armdrag. The fans are too busy whistling at Miss Jackie (fair enough), who gets surrounded by Bubba and D-Von. It’s enough of a distraction for Bubba to snap the arm over the middle rope and Spike goes after the arm. That means the Bob Backlund lifting slam counter, followed by a top rope spinning crossbody counter. The Dudley Dog is broken up but D-Von comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was little more than a way for Tazz to come back out and fill in some time in the ring. Haas and Jackie are fine enough as an act, but it’s almost impossible to have Haas, who isn’t the most interesting guy in the world, get attention when Jackie looks like she does. It’s not like the ending here was really in that much doubt, as it was going to be this or Bubba and D-Von cheating to give Spike the pin.

Post match the double beatdown is on until Rico returns for the save.

Carlito walks in front of moving cars to talk about how cool he is.

Next week: Undertaker vs. Mideon and Viscera. So Long can order non-contracted wrestlers into matches?

Speaking of Long, here he is for the contract signing. Before anyone else comes out, we get a quick poll on who the fans want to see face Big Show. Eddie seems to be the favorite, but here’s Big Show to make his decision. Angle, Reigns and Guerrero all join him though as this is getting a ridiculous amount of time. Before Show can make his choice, Angle says he doesn’t hold a grudge over his broken leg. He’s a businessman, and it would be bad business for Show to pick him. Show’s first pay per view match back should be against someone who doesn’t like him.

The right business move is to destroy Eddie, proving that Show will fight for the people. Eddie promises Show a fight that he’ll remember for the rest of his life. Long presents him with both contracts, with Tazz getting in a very nice point of clarity by saying which is which. The fans want a triple threat but Show isn’t sure what to do. He signs the Eddie contract but Angle jumps Guerrero.

Show laughs for a bit before breaking the Eddie contract over his knee and signing to face Angle. As usual: I don’t think WWE has any idea how contracts work. Reigns kicks Show in the face but Eddie gets back up and helps clear the ring. Long makes a tag match for next week’s main event to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. What in the world am I supposed to say about this one? The wrestling was more miss than hit, the show ended on a nearly fifteen minute Big Show segment, there was no commentary for a lot of the show, and….I know I’m forgetting something here. Something disturbing that has been brought up for nearly fifteen years since it actually took place and is the main thing that anyone remembers about a wrestler. Eh must have already been blocked from my mind for reasons of general disturbances. Nothing good to see here, though it wasn’t lacking energy for most of the night.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 13, 2004
Location: KeyArena, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Unforgiven and things are back to the normal levels of bleak. In this case, that’s due to HHH winning the World Title again, because Randy Orton had his four week reign and needed to be eradicated once and for all. I’m sure he’ll get some title shots going forward, but it’s pretty clear that his time has already come and gone. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Unforgiven if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Ric Flair, Batista and a bunch of women are in the ring for HHH’s title celebration. Flair introduces the new champ as the confetti falls. Great now it’s going to be all over ringside all night. There’s also a huge cake, which is clearly the kind with a person inside to jump out. HHH says you can feel the excitement in the air because the king is back on his throne. This is the happiest he’s sounded in months, which certainly does make sense for him.

All of the girls kneel in front of him, so HHH says there will be plenty of time for getting on their knees. Normally I’d make a PG joke but the Diva Search girls have made that one sound tame. HHH talks about Orton spitting on him a few weeks back, but now he’s laughing again. Then he spit in the fans’ faces and they can’t even wipe it off because he’s the World Heavyweight Champion.

The girls rip his shirt off but HHH looks at the cake, which he knows has someone inside. Flair and Batista didn’t send it, so it must have been Bischoff. An explosion goes off and of course it’s Orton to take out Evolution. So…..was there a girl in there in the first place and Orton kidnapped her? Or did he just pay off the production people? HHH gets thrown into the hole in the cake, leaving his feet kicking in the air for a funny bit. Not funny enough to validate HHH getting another long promo or another title reign or how obvious the whole thing was, but funny.

It’s so funny that we look at it again after a break. During said break, HHH got out of the cake and kept falling over from the icing.

HHH yells at Bischoff and gets Orton in a handicap match tonight.

Chris Benoit vs. Robert Conway

William Regal comes out to cancel out Sylvan Grenier. Conway jumps him to start so Benoit slides between the legs and goes with the chops. It’s way too early for the Sharpshooter as Conway bails outside for a breather. Back in and Conway snaps off a suplex to take over, meaning we hit the stomping and choking. A neck crank doesn’t last long as Benoit fights up, only to get thrown to the floor almost immediately.

Back in and Benoit hooks a quick small package for two but Conway chokes him right back down. Conway has him in trouble again as Benoit is giving Conway more than he’s ever gotten in his career. Benoit finally fights back with forearms and a snap suplex for two of his own. It’s time to crank things up and Benoit rolls some German suplexes, setting up the Crossface for the win.

Rating: C-. That’s a fine way to go with Benoit, as he made Conway look good for a little while and then won without much effort as soon as he started putting in some effort. Benoit isn’t about to lose to Conway but Conway can get a lot out of just beating on Benoit for a few minutes. Nothing great or even very good, but what we got was fine.

Shelton Benjamin is coming back.

Taboo Tuesday is coming.

Here’s Stacy Keibler for this week’s Diva Search segment, which is a Seattle Slugfest. Molly Holly (with her regular hair) comes out to interrupt instead though and says the girls can have their “sl**” fest later (that’s a major swear from Molly). For right now though, it’s time for the two of them to have a competition of their own, with Stacy getting the pick.

That would be a dance off, but Molly had eight years of ballet classes. She requests to dance to William Regal’s music and does just fine, as expected. Stacy does the kind of dance you would expect from her and seems to be declared the winner. Molly jumps her from behind, drawing in Nidia, Gail Kim, Victoria and Trish Stratus for the big brawl. Bischoff, six woman, bell.

Trish Stratus/Molly Holly/Gail Kim vs. Stacy Keibler/Nidia/Victoria

Joined in progress with the Nidia hitting Trish with a middle rope crossbody. A spinebuster cuts Nidia down for two though and some right hands keep Nidia in trouble. It’s off to Gail as the fans want Stacy, likely due to her barely existing skirt. Gail’s half crab has Nidia screaming until she makes a rope. Molly comes in as Lawler makes jokes about the Diva Search girls boxing later. A neckbreaker takes Gail down and thankfully it’s off to Victoria instead of Stacy. Victoria gets to clean house on her own until Molly ties her in the Tree of Woe. That’s enough for Stacy to tag herself in though and grab a rollup to pin Molly.

Rating: D. What were you expecting here? Stacy has no business being in there and Nidia isn’t exactly good either. That leaves four women to carry a six woman tag and it’s not the easiest thing in the world when one of the women worked most of the match. It wasn’t good, but at least it was short and that’s about as good as it gets.

Kane comes in to Bischoff and wants Shawn Michaels tonight. Bischoff can’t do that as Shawn is booked for the Highlight Reel, so Kane grabs him by the throat. Since Shawn isn’t happening tonight, Kane can fight him any other night. As for tonight, Bischoff will find someone and Kane can have a No DQ match with no questions asked.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Jericho talking about last night’s brutal match but it was all worth it (even the ladder suppository) to get the Intercontinental Title back. That’s a record breaking seven times, which brings him to his guest, who is a former Intercontinental Champion in his own right. This brings out Shawn, who talks about beating Kane even uglier than he was before. Jericho agrees that it was impressive, but not quite as impressive as winning the Intercontinental Title for the SEVENTH TIME.

Actually that’s why Shawn is out here, because they’re neck and neck over the years. They’ve met in Seattle before so let’s do it one more time for the title. Cue Christian and Tyson Tomko with Christian talking about how awesome his career has been. He’s so awesome that he should get the Intercontinental Title shot right now. Shawn says deal, as soon as Christian beat shim. Jericho says not so fast, because he knows what is going to happen.

Everyone knows what’s going to happen and is willing to read the front row’s minds. A lot of fans are really excited to see it but section 53 knows that Tyson Tomko is going to interfere. There’s a kid that knows the solution though: let’s have a tag match! So the kid is the reason we’re not seeing Shawn vs. Christian or Jericho? Someone throw that kid in a closet, cover him in peanut butter and let a trio of rabid squirrels loose.

Christian/Tyson Tomko vs. Shawn Michaels/Chris Jericho

Joined in progress with Shawn chopping away at Christian (with bad ribs) before handing it off to Jericho for a suplex. It’s already back to Shawn to slug away at Tomko in the corner before tripping him down for a basement dropkick. One heck of a clothesline takes Shawn’s head off (Lawler: “PROBLEM SOLVED!”) and the villains take over. JR uses a neck crank to recap the evening (not the worst idea in the world), followed by Christian coming in to stomp away.

A flying forearm gets Shawn out of trouble though and it’s back to Jericho so the pace can pick up. The springboard dropkick puts Tomko on the floor with Christian following him, setting up the big stereo dives. We take a break (allowing me to drool over the idea Shawn and Jericho as a full time team) and come back with Jericho in trouble as Christian slaps on a chinlock with a knee in the back.

Christian’s backbreaker gets two and Tomko pulls on the ribs again. Jericho finally avoids a charge from Christian and the hot tag brings in Shawn to clean house. The top rope elbow hits Tomko but Christian crotches Shawn against the post for a save. Jericho cuts Christian off and it’s Sweet Chin Music to finish Tomko.

Rating: D+. That’s a “well that happened” if I’ve ever seen one. The more talented team won and it’s not like there was anything important happening here. You can’t tease a Shawn vs. Jericho or Shawn vs. Christian match and then go with this lame tag match, but for some reason that’s as good as we can get. Not a terrible match, but quite the downgrade.

Post match Christian gives Shawn the Unprettier on the floor.

Simon Dean, a fitness guru with his own Simon System of weight loss products, is looking forward to helping us lose weight. This is set up like an old commercial for a product, complete with a phone number and payment plan, which gives me some nice flashbacks to the old WCW days.

It’s Diva Search time with Coach hosting. The three come out with JR having to handle the mini bios, making him sound like a very sad man indeed. Joy is eliminated so Christy and Carmella put on the huge boxing gloves. Thankfully Vince McMahon comes out to interrupt and talk about next week being the season premiere of Raw.

Therefore, next week will see a groundbreaking announcement that affects Bischoff, everyone in the locker room and every fan around here. As for tonight though, Vince has an announcement…for Coach. Instead of the women fighting each other, they’re going to beat up Coach, who has to stand in one place or be fired. The referee even gives them some suggested targets and each of them gets thirty seconds.

Christy hits him low and chokes him down before biting him on the back of the pants. Carmella goes more traditional with rights to the face, one of which knocks Coach down. That means Christy wins, because duh. The winner of the whole thing is announced next week, thank goodness.

Eugene has a very separated shoulder after last week’s attack from HHH.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

No DQ. Kane clotheslines him down to start and hits a big boot to the side of the head as Lawler makes fun of JR for not knowing Snitsky. A raised boot in the corner slows Kane down and Snitsky hits those big right hands of his, which start with a big pull back and finish with a bigger follow through. It looks like he’s aiming for Kane’s stomach.

Snitsky hits him low to cut off a chokeslam attempt but Kane kicks him down again. Kane wraps the chair around Snitsky’s throat but Lita gets in and takes it off. That means an argument, allowing Snitsky to chair Kane in the back, sending him right onto Lita. That means a no contest, and likely a miscarriage.

We get the big stretcher job as Lita holds her stomach and Kane tells her that the baby is going to be ok. After a break, we get a BABY KILLER chant, which you don’t get to hear very often.

Smackdown Rebound.

Post break, Kane helps Lita into an ambulance as Stacy and Victoria look on.

Evolution vs. Randy Orton

Flair jumps Orton before the bell so Orton backdrops him down to check off the Bingo square. It’s off to HHH (Not Batista first?) to get punched in the face but Orton slides outside and pulls Batista down onto the apron. Batista comes in legally so Orton slugs away again until a spinebuster takes him down. Now HHH is willing to come in for some shots to the face but the Pedigree is countered with a slingshot, sending HHH crotch first into the buckle. The RKO is loaded up but Batista comes in with the clothesline and that’s a lame DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on until Shelton Benjamin makes his return for the save….and gets beaten down. Benoit makes the real save and Batista takes the beatdown to end the show. Wouldn’t it have been more productive to have those run-ins in reverse? Eh at least the six man should be good.

Overall Rating: D. That ending segment is a perfect compliment to the opener: Orton gets the better of HHH at the beginning and the end, but none of that really matters as HHH is still the champion. That’s not exactly something that makes me want to see where things are going, because things are going in the direction of more HHH on top with HAHA I’M STILL CHAMPION being the big closing line every week. It’s been that way for far too long now and that’s not the right way to make me want to keep watching.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6