IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

The main change can be summed up in one word: Cena and Batista. They took the world titles at Wrestlemania and haven’t looked back since. Other than that, there’s not a lot of differences. The main changes would be the alignments of some faces and heels. Eddie is now a heel, as is Orton, who was getting to the tweener stage last year. Edge is also full heel now, but that deserves a special mention later.

The main event however has none of those people to worry about. Tonight, the main event is a clash of two titans. Ok maybe more like a titan against Zeus, as Hulk Hogan meets Shawn Michaels. Now this wasn’t much of a rivalry as much as it was a challenge. At Backlash, the two had teamed up to fight off the evil of Muhammad Hassan and Daivari.

Then on the Fourth of July, Shawn superkicked him to end Raw, leading us here. To say the promos that Shawn did leading up to this were hilarious is the understatement of the year. Anyway, that’s the undisputed main event and also a source of controversy which I’ll get to later. Anyway, let’s get to this. Oh yeah one last note: due to the draft, the titles have switched shows.

Lillian sings the National Anthem which is awesome as always. You can see how much she puts into it and it’s awesome.

The video is great here, although that may be because it’s set to Remedy by Seether, one of my all time favorite songs. We get the usual highlights of the feuds, but then once it looks like we’ve done them all and the song plays for a bit, Shawn kicks Hogan to bring it to a dead halt. It’s just really well done and highlights all of the matches that are coming up tonight.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan is champion here. Jordan won the title from Cena about 5 months ago. He really never did much with the title other than have some bad looking boxing moves, despite being a decent boxer as an amateur. He beat Benoit at the Great American Bash but had to use the turnbuckle to do it. This is Benoit’s rematch.

The Crippler gets a great pop. Always interesting to see a guy go from main eventing to opening the show. Wow I forgot how annoying Jordan was. That all being said, this match lasts 25 seconds. Here’s the whole match: They lock up, Benoit takes him to the corner, Jordan punches him once, Benoit hits the German, crossface, new champion.

Rating: N/A. This was AWESOME. The crowd was losing it as soon as he got the crossface on and so was I. I won’t give it a rating but if I did, instant A. The crowd is completely fired up now and they think they can’t miss a thing now. GREAT way to start the show. I loved this.

Since there was next to nothing to say there, here’s the aftermath of it. They would have three rematches. One would last longer than this, clocking in at an earth shattering 49.8 seconds. It led to some very funny segments with Benoit trying to find things he could do that lasted longer than the match. Again, this was AWESOME.

Eddie is in the…HOLY CRAP IS THAT VICKIE??? She’s got red hair, a MUCH nicer voice and is thin. Ok, now I could see him marrying that. I’ll go into what they talk about later, as the angle is without a doubt the dumbest I’ve ever seen and deserves its own discussion.

There are soldiers there from the military hospital. That never stops being cool.

We recap Edge vs. Matt. Holy crap where do I begin here? This is one of the best stories of all time. Notice I didn’t say storyline there, because it was a real event. Matt and Lita were dating, and she left him for Edge. This became public knowledge and Edge kept teasing that Matt would come and beat him up for it.

Matt was at ROH for awhile, and then in what was one of the most shocking things I can ever remember, Matt showed up on Raw from out of nowhere, stunning everyone including the IWC by shouting that he’d see everyone at Ring of Honor. Yes, ROH was mentioned by name on WWE television.

The key to this was simple: the announcers weren’t told it was coming. How in the world are they supposed to respond to it? It threw everyone off and was a huge success as NO ONE saw this coming. If you want to credit Edge’s rise to the top to one thing, this is it.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

To say Lita looks good is like saying Sly is an ok debater. She’s looking extra hot here, with the jeans and bra but her stomach is all muscular and thin. I can easily see why a fight would break out over her. Edge is just about booed out of the building. The pop for Matt is huge. If there was ever a time that he should have been pushed to the moon, this was it. This is likely to be a shoot and not a regular match. Yep, it’s a shoot.

If this was a work, then give these two freaking medals. I know at least some of those shots were legit. This might be the hardest hitting match I’ve ever seen. Other than a spear through the ropes like he did to Foley, everything is a strike that you might see in a UFC fight. Matt’s head gets opened up and after a bunch of stiff shots to it, the referee stops it. I know that part was a work, as it’s a bad cut but not horrid.

Oddly enough, Matt would go on to cleanly win the next two matches before losing to Edge in a ladder match and having to leave Raw. It looks bad now, but he would redeem himself. The replay shows that the post spot where Matt got cut was a work, as he more or less crawls forward to get in position. Even still, very fun match.

Rating: B+. For what it was, this was great. For a wrestling match, it was BAD. However, I loved it for how brutal it looked and how great Lita looked, so while a lot would go the opposite here and I wouldn’t argue with them, this was fun. It wasn’t good, but it was fun.

There’s two songs apparently, a very bad pop/rap song and Remedy.

And now we have arrived. What we have next is without a doubt the WORST angle I have ever seen. Before I do the recap, allow me to quote Tony Chimmel’s announcement of the next match.

“The following contest is a ladder match FOR THE CUSTODY OF DOMINICK!”

Yes, the stipulation here is that the winner of this match gets custody of an 8 year old boy. Here’s your story: Eddie and Rey were tag team champions yet for awhile they had some one on one matches and Eddie never won. All of a sudden he started talking about a secret, which clearly was that he was Rey’s son’s real father. Eventually they had a match at the Great American Bash where if Eddie won he would get to tell the secret, but if he lost it stayed a secret.

Rey won, but on Smackdown Eddie just said it anyway which was something that I loved. Either way, Eddie gets custody of Dominick but is willing to put it on the line in a ladder match for one more chance to beat Rey. Dominick is at ringside with his social worker, just to make this even more ridiculous. One final note: Rey Mysterio is a lucky man, as his wife is smoking.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

This, as I said, is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of, but the match should be good. Tazz and Cole talk about their sons as Rey hugs Dominick. This is what Eddie and Vickie were talking about earlier if you didn’t get that. We start with a stall as neither guy really moves at all. Yeah that’s a great way to get the crowd more fired up: don’t move. Apparently Eddie is 0-6 vs. Rey in his career. Dominick, the scared little boy, standing next to a guy in a Cactus Jack shirt is funny to me for some reason.

I get that he’s supposed to be scared and I think he’s playing his part well, we don’t need to see his reaction after every move. They bring the ladders in pretty fast and it’s mostly just their regular moves with the ladders involved along with some basic stuff. Rey is off a bit here which makes great sense as he’s worried about his son.

That’s a nice piece of logic and it makes perfect sense here. In a great spot, Eddie is almost up the ladder but Rey sets another ladder up like a ramp and climbs it to stop Eddie. That’s pretty good but the good part is the backdrop off the ladder, which causes both of them to fall and the crash is just great. Cole calls Eddie sick about 10 times which makes me think he needs some antibiotics.

Ok, now this match just gets bad. Eddie hits a big spot to knock Rey out. He’s climbing the ladder and is about to win, and DOMINICK runs in to shake the ladder. Eddie drops down and says things like “Give me a hug” and “I’m going to be your new daddy!” Ok, where do I begin here? Number one, where is security? They can’t stop an 8 year old boy from jumping the guard rail, or I guess in his case climbing it, getting in the ring, grabbing the ladder, or Eddie from raising his fist at him?

Number two, where was that social worker or whatever? Isn’t her job to make sure that the kid is safe? Yes, I’m sure that it’s safe for a child to run into a wrestling ring and shake a ladder with a grown man on it. Number three, isn’t a social worker a local thing? What kind of social worker would allow this to even happen? How could a professional wrestling match determine the custody of a child? And we have another 7 minutes to go! Where is my medicine?

Finally, does anyone else think Eddie sounds a little perverted with what he said in there? He says more than what I said, but it’s just a bit odd sounding. Anyway, Rey does another dumb spot as he hits the 619 into the ladder into Eddie. Yeah, that’s very smart Rey. And you wonder why your knees are shot. Oh and Eddie looking over his shoulder while in position didn’t help things.

After Rey hangs from the cord, (Eddie catches him in a powerbomb but Cole keeps calling it a Spinebuster until Tazz corrects him after seeing the replay) he gets pinned under the ladder as Eddie climbs up. Eddie then proves how stupid these matches can be as he spends like 20 seconds trying to unhook the stupid thing while waving at Rey. Rey of course counters and shakes the ladder and Eddie hangs on the cord.

Who makes those things, NASA? I would have loved it if Eddie had tucked his knees in and Rey had tried to jump up to grab him but he just wasn’t tall enough. Cole and Tazz go one and on about how Eddie has no heart. I love how last year he had the biggest heart in the world, but now it’s revealed that he’s always had a black heart. My goodness I love kayfabe. Where in the world did they come up with that term anyway?

Rey is in trouble again as Eddie goes up but Vickie runs out and shoves him off. Tazz’s line of she doesn’t belong out here made me laugh out loud. You know, if she wore something other than brown she could actually be attractive. She’s probably 40 pounds lighter here if that means anything. Dang how many times does Rey have to be saved here? Anyway, Rey climbs up and Vickie grabs Eddie to hold him back so Rey wins.

Dominick jumps the railing again as Rey’s wife walks down the ramp to join them. Seriously, how bad is security in this building??? Eddie throws a fit as Cole’s commentary tells us just how stupid this whole thing really was. Rey slides back in and with Eddie looking at him the whole time, he nails Eddie in the head with the briefcase. Great way to treat something you worked so hard to get.

Rating: B. The match was fine, but DANG the storyline couldn’t have been shoved down our throats any harder. We get it: Eddie is evil and Rey is about to lose his family. You spent half the match talking about it. This is an example of where commentary can hurt a match. At the end I almost wanted Eddie to win so I could laugh at Cole and Tazz. Either way, the match itself was fine, all stupid parts aside. It’s hard to think that Eddie would be dead in three months.

Jericho cuts a solid promo about how he will win tonight and that Cena is just the flavor of the month. He says that he beat Rock and Austin in the same night and that Cena can’t compare to them. There’s a thread there, and remember this was 4 years ago.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

My goodness why does Eugene keep getting the good wrestlers at this show? Christy Hemme comes out with Eugene dressed as a rather nice cheerleader, so maybe there’s something to Eugene. The story, which isn’t told here, is that Angle had been offering his gold medals to anyone that could last 3 minutes with him. Eugene won them, and now he wants it back. That leads us here as there’s no time limit for this match. Oh joy, oh rapture.

We’re finally at Kurt’s best known look, as he’s bald and has the You Suck chants. The odd thing is that he miss times his pyro so as he’s walking to the ring it goes off instead of when he’s pointing up. Eugene is getting killed for the early part here but comes back and tries a People’s Elbow. Angle pops up and takes his head off with a clothesline to one of the biggest pops of the night. Angle is just killing him here and the fans are WAY behind him.

Eugene looks like a jobber with his offense here and is getting booed out of the building from just a few basic punches. See WWE, there’s this thing called LISTENING. Try it sometime. German suplex is called an Angle suplex as Eugene is just about out of it, drawing another huge pop. I’ve heard of wrestlers being hated before but this is some of the worst I’ve ever seen. Coach says Angle wants to continue to beatdown the beatdown. Right, thank you Coach.

Eugene hulks up and hits a Rock Bottom that gets two. He asks the referee if it was three and then remembers his gimmick is that he’s slow. A stunner gets two as the crowd is as hot as Christy. Eugene pulls down some invisible straps so it looks like he’s scratching his shoulders and puts on the ankle lock. I thought he was emulating his favorite wrestlers. A guy that hates him is his favorite? Whatever.

Angle counters, hits the slam and makes Eugene tap to the roar of the fans. They kept it short, which was a great idea here as last year’s 17 minute match was just flat out stupid. Even Ross is talking about how dominant that was. Afterwards, Angle stands on a chair and has the referee put the medal around his neck which is kind of cool.

Rating: A+. Anytime Eugene gets destroyed like he did here, it’s a great match. He was just annoying at this point. A year ago he was ok I guess as the gimmick of someone that was slow but was a wrestling savant was actually kind of cool. Now he’s just slow as his wrestling ability has been forgotten and he just uses big time finishers. See, that’s how you can tell they’ve given up on him. They had a cool idea and then they just dropped it. That’s never a good sign, period.

The Divas are in bikinis and washing a car for no apparent reason. We see that it has the Presidential logo on it. The window rolls down and Vince is in it. He says why not? A bumper stickers says McMahon for President. Nothing ever came of this.

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

We cut back to the arena and just hear a gong. Thanks for the buildup or anything guys. This is just a Mania rematch which happened because Orton wanted to stop the streak. I’ve always liked Burn in My Light better than Voices. Orton standing in front of the pyro doing his pose just looks awesome. Even though he’s a heel he actually gets a solid pop.

I miss this version of Orton. For one thing the color of his skin is a bit less orange. It’s weird seeing Taker come out first. Orton hits the floor early to hide and I can’t say I blame him. Taz seems to agree with me. Taker slaps him in the face and the beating is on. I love seeing Taker grab someone by the throat and throw them into the corner. It’s just awesome looking.

Apparently Orton smiled after taking a chokeslam on Thursday so he’s getting in the head of the Deadman. Sounds to me like he’s getting chokeslamed which usually means he would lose. Old School is blocked by an arm drag which gets two, likely because it was an arm drag. Orton might have a bad shoulder thanks to a match with Benoit on Smackdown.

Orton takes over with punches. Take a guess as to how well that goes for him. BIG boot takes Orton down for two. This is different than their Mania match and I’m not sure if I like it better or not. Just waiting on Taker’s momentum to die until he gets beaten up for like 8 minutes and then we hit the finish. Running knee in the corner has Orton in big trouble.

Taker keeps going after the referee for no good reason. He tries the same running shot in the corner and of course it misses, allowing Orton to take over. He gets a modified elevated DDT as Taker is coming in for two. Orton goes to the knee as no one has EVER tried that on Taker right?

Powerslam by Orton gets two. And so much for a pin attempt as he goes back to the knee. With his good leg he hits the apron legdrop and actually SELLS THE LEG. I’m just so darn proud! He somehow manages to hit Old School but can’t follow up due to the knee. Snake Eyes hit but the big boot can’t work so Orton gets a dropkick to put Taker down. RKO is blocked though.

Tombstone is reversed and of course that doesn’t work but the reversal is reversed into the backbreaker for two. WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO TOMBSTONE UNDERTAKER??? That has never worked once unless your name is Kane. Does no one watch tape anymore? Crazy new generation. Chokeslam hits and there’s the sign for the tombstone.

A fan runs in and it’s Bob Orton. For the life of me I will never get the appeal of him. Seriously, what’s so great about Bob Orton? What makes him a legend, aside from hanging out with Roddy Piper? That isn’t revealed though until later. Taker goes to get Orton and walks into the RKO for the pin. And the fan is Bob Orton.

Rating: B-. It’s nowhere near their Mania match, so that’s not helping things. I like how they had Bob come in at the end though as it adds something new which furthers the story a bit. There would be two more matches with these two before they finally blew it off in the Cell at Armageddon.

This was fine, but I prefer Mania by a lot, as we had seen a lot of this before, 4 months prior to this. Still not bad at all though. It amazes me how Orton has gone from the rookie wonder last year to this in just a year’s time.

They point out some Republican politicians in the crowd and no one cares.

Time to recap Jericho vs. Cena, which Ross messes up by saying Jericho is champion. This was more about Cena vs. Bischoff as they try to redo Austin vs. McMahon. Jericho is his handpicked opponent to become champion. We knew Jericho was leaving after Raw the next night so there was a real chance they would do the one night title switch and put it back on Cena the next night. Jericho is walking to the ring as we see him from the back coming through the curtain as his music plays. That’s kind of cool.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

In a weird sounding thing, Lillian says that Jericho was born in New York. When have they ever worded it like that? This is being built up as rock vs. rap. Yeah that’s great. The Cena pop is huge. Wow Lawler is 3-0 at Summerslam? That’s actually quite surprising. They point out that it’s wrestling vs. brawling here, and mention Rock and Austin. Dude, it’s great, but even I’m sick of hearing about it. On the floor Cena hits….let’s call it a spear I guess.

It’s kind of just a running tackle that they call a spear. Ross surprisingly says he’s not a Cena fan. He says that he tells it like it is, which makes me laugh even harder. This is pretty much dominance to start, as JR uses the word sycophant. Dang how much foreshadowing are they going to do? Ross is being kind of a jerk here as he keeps telling Coachman to shut up. For once I agree with Ross. Coach uses Rock lines which make me shake my head.

The commentary is more interesting than the match here as Jericho is pretty much dominating. Top rope superplex is cool. In a cool looking spot Cena goes for the shoulder block and Jericho slides between his legs. You know Jericho has two of the worst finishers of all time with the Lionsault and the Walls. When did they ever win anything when he was a heel? By the way, the STFU was a few weeks away at this point. He does however use the top rope leg here. You can tell he’s still not entirely comfortable with being the top star, but he’s getting there.

FU is blocked into a DDT, which was foreshadowed by the feet of Jericho kicking. That’s the natural counter to everything I guess. We have very loud dueling chants of let’s go Cena/Jericho. At the time, Jericho just failed as a heel because he was far too much like his old face persona. A lot of his movements and mannerisms are the same, which is why his current persona works much better. It’s completely different than his old one was and there’s little likable about it.

Five moves are countered, namely the You Can’t See Me. Jericho’s epic counter you ask? He rolls over. I love how “big” moves are blocked so easily at times. The Walls of course do nothing at all but get a face pop. Cena goes for an FU from the second rope which doesn’t work.

Jericho gets a running start but Cena grabs him and in a very cool looking sequence, hooks him in a tilt a whirl up onto his shoulder to FU him for the finish as JR yells louder than he did when Austin was champ. That ending was very cool looking.

Rating: C. This felt way too short. Cena was beaten up almost the whole time but in the end of course he hits his big move to knock off the enemy. It was fine for a PPV match I guess, but it was far from special. They would have another match the next night where the loser was fired. Jericho lost and would leave for almost 3 years.

WM 22 is in Chicago.

Recap of the JBL vs. Batista feud which more or less is them having a match at the Bash but Batista gets disqualified. That makes JBL want this to be no holds barred.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. JBL

JBL makes it rain 100 dollar bills to get the fans to cheer. They find that they’re JBL dollars to make them boo. The speed at which this crowd changes is amusing. Batista gets the big pop as the home town boy. However he gets jumped on the way to the ring as I think they figured out that this just wasn’t going to be a good wrestling match no matter what they did so they just made it a big brawl. They go into the crowd for a bit and Batista spears JBL through the barricade to get him back to ringside.

Well that’s one way to do it I guess. Hokey smoke they’re in the ring. For the second time tonight Cole knows the amount of time that the people have been champions. Thanks, but isn’t that a bit of overkill? As usual, a leather belt is brought in. Why would you wear one of those in a match anyway? It’s not like you think it’s safe or something. No one could be that stupid. Wait this is JBL and Batista. Ignore what I just said.

This is just a lot of hitting each other with power moves and the no holds barred thing is kind of stupid. The epic clothesline isn’t enough to stop Batista, so JBL gets some steps. Those are some freaking huge steps. This is just really bad. JBL misses a powerbomb from the steps, not onto them mind you. Batista Bomb but he doesn’t cover, but instead stands there like a moron with his mouth hanging open. The fans chant one more time so I guess you know what’s coming.

Yep, it’s a power bomb on the steps. I’m not impressed either. Of course this ends it. The impact wasn’t that good either as it’s such a far shorter drop that there’s no time to get any momentum behind it.

Rating: D. Yeah this was bad. It’s less than ten minutes and that might have been too long. The problem here is simple: these two are just big strong brawlers and that style doesn’t work against each other and it didn’t here. You need someone of a different style so that the power works well against it. This was really bad though as it was obvious who would win and there was no drama at all. Bad match and no drama means a waste of time.

Recap of the real main event, which I have to give them credit for getting right here as neither of the other matches should have closed out the show. Short version: Hogan and Michaels teamed up to fight the evil Middle Eastern guys, and then they teamed a bit more. Shawn said he had to know if he could beat Hogan, and that’s how we got here.

If I went through all of the promos for this I’d run out of room for how funny they were. I don’t think they were trying to make Shawn heel here but rather the less good of the two guys. This was actually a major match when you think about it and it was treated as such, so what more can you ask for here?

HBK vs. Hulk Hogan

We come back to the arena to dead silence. I mean nothing is going on but the general noise of the fans. Yeah that’s a great way to come out of a good video package guys. A few seconds of this is fine, but it goes on for about 15 seconds. That doesn’t sound like much but it’s a LONG time when you’re just sitting there waiting. Shawn FINALLY comes out to a pop but not a huge one. We still have no commentary.

Shawn prays as he usually does. I wonder if he’s praying to Hogan. Listen to his old promos and tell me he doesn’t sound like he thinks he’s God. The announcers try to make Shawn out to be an evil heel but it’s just failing. Dang the MCI Center needs a new roof. The fans just blew it off. A massive American Flag drops from the ceiling and it just looks awesome. The commentary is just completely biased as only Coach is on Shawn’s side.

Ok Hogan’s entrance is now at four minutes long. Neither has ever lost at Summerslam in a one on one match. That’s saying a lot. Shawn, forever the strategist, thinks it’s a good idea to try to overpower Hogan. Do I even need to make fun of that? A LOUD you screwed Bret chant starts up. It could be debated that such a chant could be directed at either person. They try to play this off as being the biggest match in Hogan’s career. That is just flat out funny.

This isn’t even the biggest match of Hogan’s career in this building, as this was where Hogan vs. Sting happened. Michaels’ bumping is just funny here as he’s selling a punch like a shot from a cannon. They talk about the big men that both men have beaten. Shawn is credited with Vader (he never beat him though), Diesel and Sid. Ok that’s all fine. They mention Hogan beating Andre and Coach mentions Big John Studd. This gets dead silence.

While it’s true that he beat John on some house shows, I don’t think he ever did it on a major show or a national broadcast, so I can see the skepticism there. Shawn slaps Hogan twice and actually gets away with it. They go to the floor with Hogan just killing him, but eventually Hogan goes into the posts head first. Amazingly enough he rubs his head, and right where he rubs it he’s bleeding. What are the odds of that?

You have to love that Shawn is beating up a 52 year old man. You have to love that this match isn’t stopped for the blood yet Matt vs. Edge was. Do you mean that Hogan isn’t as important as Matt Hardy? Shawn with a sleeper that Ross says is cutting off the flow of blood to the brain. Wouldn’t that kind of be helping Hogan since blood is flowing from his head? They ask how many people can say ended Hogan with his blood on their hands. I’m thinking Brock Lesnar there boys.

Shawn hits what I guess is supposed to be a forearm but Hogan just kind of falls over. Shawn goes for ANOTHER forearm but the referee goes down because of it. Do we really need that in this match? Just let one or the other get the win. The fans want Bret. Where in the heck does that come from? Shawn then applies the absolute WORST sharpshooter of all time.

He looks like he’s bent over in prison or something and Hogan looks like he’s in a half crab, which isn’t his fault as Shawn didn’t put it on right. Shawn got the leg crossing wrong I think. Yeah he did it’s supposed to be with the other arm. We have another referee here by the way. JR says that both men are looking for a win. I thought they were both looking for the way to Sesame Street. The other referee is down too. Yeah this isn’t overkill at all.

Shawn with a low blow that JR calls a low blow and then that it doesn’t need a description. Isn’t calling it low a description? Chair is brought in and barely hits Hogan as he falls early from it and Shawn lets it slide over the top of his head. Sweet Chin Music connects which gets a huge pop as Shawn circles Hogan to cover him correctly so Hogan can do the power kick out. Yep there it is.

Ok, now I can get that when Hogan is hit by an elbow or a splash that he can kick out like that, but this is a hard blow to his head. That makes NO sense, even from a wrestling perspective. We get the boot and leg drop, complete with Shawn’s insane selling that’s drawn a lot of criticism.

If Hogan can completely no sell the kick, Shawn can do that for the boot. Post match Shawn tilts face again. I say tilts because he never really turned in the first place. Oh and all of a sudden the commentators love him again too. The famous poses play us out.

Rating: B-. It was what it was, but no one believed Shawn was going to win. However, he should have. Hogan is certainly the bigger star, but he’s not a full time wrestler at this point and Shawn was. If Shawn wins here, he’s instantly getting a huge push as he just beat Hulk Hogan. Now I get that Hogan should win as the bigger star, and if they were both leaving or both staying you would be absolutely right, but that’s not what they were doing.

Shawn was staying and a win for him would be a huge push. Yes Hogan is the best ever, but he’s not even active at the moment so it looks like Shawn lost to some guy that just came back and beat him. I just don’t agree with this booking at all.

Overall Rating: B. This is a show where the overall product is much better than the individual matches. Batista vs. JBL is the only truly bad match on the card. The rest are good if not quite good. I don’t think there’s a true classic anywhere here or even a great match, but with everything being at least decent save for the WHC, this is a solid show. I’ll recommend it, but not completely.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 24, 2005
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re finally done with No Way Out and that means we’re officially on the Road to Wrestlemania. After this week’s Raw, we now have an official main event with John Cena winning the #1 contenders tournament, earning a Smackdown World Title shot against JBL. I wonder what they’ll talk about. Let’s get to it.

Here are Sunday’s results if you need a recap.

This show is sponsored by Friends Of JBL, meaning we’re starting with a look at him surviving No Way Out’s main event against Big Show.

We look at Batista signing to face HHH, leaving Cena to challenge JBL.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are challenging in a rematch from No Way Out. The fans are behind Eddie to start as he shoulders Danny into the corner early on. Some kicks to the arm allow a tag to Rey, who snaps off a headscissors for two. It’s already back to Eddie but the Bashams get him into the corner, setting up a super spinebuster (cool, though not as cool as it sounds) to send us to an early break.

Back with Eddie grabbing a swinging neckbreaker for a breather but Rey is down on the floor. Danny hits his own swinging neckbreaker for two as we see Doug sending Rey into the steps during the break. I can appreciate the bonus details like that. Eddie gets over for the corner for a tag but there’s still no Rey to keep the theme going. Danny cranks on Eddie’s arms before a quick powerslam gets two. A half crab lets Doug do something in the match but he lets go to take care of Rey again.

Eddie fights out of the corner and walks over for the tag to Rey, which wasn’t as awesome as it should have been. Everything breaks down and the champs hammer away in the corner. Rey’s springboard moonsault press gets two but Doug is right back with an Angel’s Wings for two. Eddie is right back in but the 619 hits him in the ribs by mistake. A belly to back suplex into a top rope headbutt gets two with Eddie diving back in for the save. The 619 into the frog splash into Dropping the Dime retains the titles.

Rating: C. This is a much better use of the Bashams as they’re fine for a midcard heel team who wins on occasion. Rey and Eddie’s tension continues, which you can all but guarantee for a match at Wrestlemania. They can have some better than usual tag matches on the way there though and that’s a nice way to go for a few weeks.

Stills of Cena vs. Angle.

The women are in their locker room when Orlando Jordan, in a tuxedo, comes in (after being invited like a gentleman should). They are all invited to JBL’s celebration tonight and it’s black tie. Good thing they have wrestling gear (or whatever you call what they’re wearing here) and formal wear packed on the same night.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his invitational. He’s not in the mood to play around tonight so let’s get this going fast.

Kurt Angle vs. Matt Martel

Martel is better known as Matt Striker. Hang on though as Martel won’t let Angle finish talking. He wants to know how it felt to lose to Cena. Angle punches him in the face and gets two off a German suplex, which he pulls up at two. Another suplex sets up something like an STF (which Tazz calls a freestyle bow and arrow) into the Angle Slam. Angle pulls him up again so it’s the grapevined ankle lock for the easy win.

Post match Tazz asks Angle about Shawn Michaels challenging him to Wrestlemania. Angle leaves without saying anything.

JBL has a lot of friends arriving for later.

Heidenreich is writing a poem and ignores a question about Booker T. to read it. The poem is about getting disqualified against Booker because Heidenreich is crazy.

Stills of the barbed wire cage match. We also see some new footage of JBL crawling out from under the ring as Big Show posed on the steps. Then Batista and Cena showed up to clean house.

It’s time for the celebration, featuring a bunch of food on tables in the aisle and well dressed people.

JBL is so banged up that he can’t wear his cowboy hat. He isn’t postponing the celebration either because he has earned this moment. It’s his entrance into the Hall of Fame.

The Bashams and Jordan are in the ring as everyone else is drinking champagne. Jordan introduces JBL, who takes his sweet time getting to the ring, with his music even starting over. Jordan gives another introduction and unveils a portrait of JBL as champion. JBL finally gets to talk and says he loves everyone, which is appropriate in the City of Brotherly Love. Philadelphia needs him because none of their sports teams are champion, but they can live through him.

This Sunday, he made the impossible look routine when he beat Big Show. JBL cannot lose and that is why Batista didn’t come to Smackdown. He likes the best things in life and is the kind of champion these people can never be like. In the 242 days he has been champion, he has proven his greatness, which he will do again at Wrestlemania.

JBL says it’s time to start the party (before the ice sculptures of his cowboy hat melts) but here’s Big Show to break a lot of stuff. Uh, you lost clean on Sunday dude. Stop being so uppity. The numbers get the better of Show, who gets tied in the ropes. Cue Cena for the save and I think we have a tag match for later. Naturally the portrait is broken over JBL’s head and we cut to a crowd shot for something. Indeed, here is Long to make the tag match. This went a good while and the setup took longer than it needed to, but Cena’s reaction was very strong.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki

Chavo is defending and kicks away at Funaki to start. Some stomping has Funaki in trouble but he’s back up with some right hands. Chavo goes face first into the buckle but the tornado DDT is broken up. What looks to be an Alabama Slam out of the corner sees Chavo driven back first into the buckle, only to have him get to his feet (with some help from a rope) for the Gory Bomb to retain.

Rating: D+. Another match without enough time to do much but giving Chavo the pin over the former champion is a good idea. He won the title in a gauntlet match and didn’t pin Funaki, so it makes his reign look more legitimized here. It wasn’t anything worth seeing but at least it went the right way.

Post match Paul London runs in and chases Chavo off.

Undertaker vs. Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns

Good grief how long does Undertaker have to spend beating these two up? Reigns drops to the floor so Undertaker can beat up Jindrak without any problem. Undertaker beats Reigns down and triangle chokes Jindrak for the easy win.

Post match Reigns yells at Jindrak and lays him out until referees break it up.

Here’s Theodore Long to find out the fate of his job. He’s proud of what he has done as GM but here’s Carlito to say he’s looking forward to Long being fired. Long brings in Linda McMahon to bring up the energy….and we’re robbed of the old Wrestlemania theme song because she’s just on the screen. Long gets to keep his job, and even steals Carlito’s apple. Next week, it’s payback time for Carlito. I’m guessing he’s healthy again because the angle ended in a hurry.

Big Show/John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan/John Bradshaw Layfield

Show has a taped up head and JBL has tape on his ribs and left arm. For some reason, Tony Chimel nearly laughs as he reads Big Show’s weight. Joined in progress with Show chopping and throwing Jordan around. He wants JBL and even reaches Jordan’s hand over for the tag which doesn’t come. Instead it’s off to Cena for the first time and the beating continues, with JBL running from Cena.

JBL does trip him from the floor though and then sends Cena hard into the steps, only to be stalked by Show. Now JBL is tilling to come in (how heelish of him) but a single punch to the bad ribs means it’s back to Jordan. A clothesline gives Jordan two and JBL makes sure to choke with the tag rope in the corner. Cena is in trouble so Show comes in to wreck some people, including a big shoulder to Jordan. The FU plants Jordan again but Cena doesn’t cover. Cena: “THIS IS WHAT WE DO!”. The Shuffle of all things gets the pin for a change.

Rating: D+. Just a short form house show main event here, with Cena and Show destroying Jordan in the end, which is how something like this should have gone. There was something rather satisfying about seeing Jordan get run over by Show and JBL laying there while Cena wrecked Jordan was rather appropriate. In other words, I like seeing Jordan get beaten up.

Overall Rating: D. This wasn’t the strongest show but all that matters is Cena vs. JBL and that got a bit of advancement in the end. They have a few weeks to really hammer that match in, though the ending to the title match is about as obvious as you can get. There is still time to set some stories up, though Reigns and Jindrak splitting isn’t going to do it. Not the worst show, but it was all about one story and they spent a lot of unnecessary time talking to get there.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 21, 2005
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re FINALLY off to the next big step as Batista decides if he’s going to face JBL or HHH at Wrestlemania. This has been a story where you know exactly what is going to happen but Batista has been built up so well that it has been a blast watching him. He’s grown a lot in the whole thing and now it’s time for the first part of the payoff. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Batista winning the Royal Rumble and having to make a decision.

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

No Way Out 2005
Date: February 20, 2005
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 9,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is a different kind of show as there is little doubt about where things are going for Wrestlemania but they’re trying to keep up the pretense of some surprises that could still come. That includes a barbed wire steel cage match with JBL defending the World Title against Big Show and a #1 contenders match between John Cena and Kurt Angle. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the barbed wire cage, which is now as demonic as the Cell. They really need to find a better steel structure manufacturer.

The announcers talk about how Batista is going to be here tonight and could get involved in the main event. As usual, cages mean nothing around here.

Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are defending and Eddie joined Rey as a replacement partner for the injured Rob Van Dam. Eddie and Danny start things off with Danny being very proud to have SOD (for Secretary of Defense) on his tights. A takedown brings Danny down and it’s time to crank on the leg a little bit. Rey comes in to work on the arm but gets driven into the corner for the tag off to Doug.

That doesn’t last long either as it’s right back to Eddie to knock Doug outside. Danny comes back in for a crossarm choke as the fans are right behind Eddie, to the surprise of almost no one. Doug pulls Eddie away from the tag and drops some elbows, followed by a powerslam for one as Rey makes a very fast save. A missed elbow allows the tag off to Rey though and a DDT gets two on Doug.

The referee goes to yell at Eddie though and the Bashams make the switch so Rey can get in trouble for a bit. A full nelson into a waistlock keeps Mysterio down and Eddie comes in for a failed save attempt. That just means more choking on Mysterio as the heat segment goes on. Rey finally gets in some elbows and a top rope moonsault press gets two. That’s still not enough to for a tag though and it’s Danny grabbing a chinlock.

Eddie can’t reach for the tag so he goes over to the other corner and unties the tag rope so he can tie it to his own for more length. You can’t say he’s conventional. A reverse powerbomb/faceplant combination gets two on Rey with Eddie coming in for a fast save. Mysterio finally realizes that he’s Rey Mysterio and rolls between both Bashams for the hot tag off to Eddie. The springboard armdrag/headscissors combination gets two on Doug but the champs are right back with a double spinebuster for two of their own.

Eddie gets frustrated and grabs a title but Rey won’t let him go where. Instead Eddie goes back in but has to roll through the frog splash attempt. Doug thinks Eddie crashed though as Eddie lays down, allowing Eddie to get two off a small package. A title gets tossed in to distract the referee so Rey throws Eddie the other belt for a shot to Danny. The 619 takes out Doug and Eddie gets the pin and the titles.

Rating: C+. I liked the match well enough, though it could have gone a few minutes shorter. It says a lot to see the Bashams go from jokes to perfectly competent champions with a simple gimmick. You don’t always have to have some over the top gimmick to make things work and the Bashams having their greatest success as generic heavies is all the proof you need. It’s a good choice for an opener, though with a six match card, there is only so much they could pick from.

Theodore Long is getting things ready for Batista when Carlito comes in, flanked by the wife of a member of the Board of Directors. She is enjoying the show and wants to see Batista get signed to Smackdown. It’s almost time for the next match so she goes back to her seat, leaving Carlito to say that it seems if Long doesn’t sign Batista, he’s out of a job.

Here are Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson to judge the first round of the Rookie Diva Of The Year contest. Joy Giovanni, Rochelle Lowen, Lauren Jones and Michelle McCool all come out in evening gowns, Torrie thinks they’re all hot, and we’re done.

Heidenreich vs. Booker T.

This was thrown together on Smackdown. Before the match, Heidenreich reads a poem about how he’s not crazy because he has good inside. Booker takes him into the corner to start but a few right hands gets Heidenreich out of trouble. An elbow to the face sends Booker outside as it’s almost all punching and shots to the face so far. Back in and Booker drops him with a superkick for two but Heidenreich hits a hard clothesline.

A keylock doesn’t get Heidenreich very far so he kicks Booker in the face for two more and grabs the hold again. Booker fights up again and drops Heidenreich to a shot to the face so the comeback can start. There’s the Spinarooni but the Book End is broken up. A missed charge sends Heidenreich to the floor, where he comes up with a chair shot for the DQ.

Rating: D. So they had a lame TV level match and then do that ending? After setting the match up three days ago? I know the show isn’t the most important in the world but you really can’t have Booker win off a rollup here? Is anyone wanting this feud to continue? Or for Heidenreich to continue for that matter? Bad match, but what’s worse is that it seems to be continuing.

Post match Heidenreich throws him back in for a cover because he’s not all there.

John Cena congratulates Eddie and Rey on their win but they tell him to go win as well. Eddie wants to talk to Cena on his own and gives him a pep talk for the biggest match of his career. Kurt Angle is a special talent though and has promised to hurt Cena. Eddie believes in Cena though and knows he’ll win. It’s a nice speech, though you can tell they’re trying to drag this out as long as they can.

Cruiserweight Title: Spike Dudley vs. Funaki vs. Akio vs. Paul London vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore

Funaki is defending in what is billed as an elimination match but is really a gauntlet match. Funaki and London start things off and everyone else is standing on the corners for a change of pace. London hits a shoulder but Funaki sweeps the leg for two before realizing that he can’t tag anyone standing at the corner like they would when you could tag someone. Some stomping delays London’s charge into the corner so Funaki can get out of the way and roll London up for two.

Spike gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and London pins Funaki. It’s Spike in third but Funaki superkicks him behind the referee’s back so London can get another pin. Moore is in fourth and rolls London up for some early (Is it still early after two eliminations?) near falls. A Whisper in the Wind misses though and London drops the 450 for another elimination.

Akio is in fifth as they’re flying through this as is the case in most gauntlets. A choke over the ropes gives Akio two and we hit the chinlock. Cole: “Looks like Akio could be trying to choke out Paul London here.” That’s the kind of analysis you can only get around here. Akio switches over to a Kimura before taking London to the top, where a super swinging neckbreaker brings him right back down. The referee starts the ten count and Akio doesn’t make it up for an elimination. When is the last time you saw that one happen? I mean for me it was about four seconds but it might be longer for you.

Chavo goes for some covers on London and gets annoyed that he can kick out after the full seven minute beating. London manages a dragon suplex for two and tries a rollup, only to have Chavo reverse into one of his own. Throw in a grab of the rope and Chavo gets the title back.

Rating: D. I never like gauntlet matches like this one as the falls go so fast and it’s really hard to get your head around the eliminations. If someone can pin one of their opponents in a minute and a half, why do regular matches take so long? It’s not a good way to run a match and they would have been better off having everyone in there going nuts until someone stole a quick pin. Funaki dropping the title is fine as it’s not like he was anything important as champion.

We look back at Batista destroying JBL’s limo on Smackdown and then saving Big Show from a Cabinet beatdown.

We run down the rules of the barbed wire cage match.

Wrestlemania Recall: the Gimmick Battle Royal.

After that awesome moment, it’s time for the second round of the Divas competition, meaning everyone has to be introduced again. This time, it’s a talent competition because of course it is. Joy goes first and since her talent is massage, she asks Torrie to lay down for a rub. Naturally this includes taking off her top and leaning over in a rather short skirt as the massage lasts all of four seconds. Dawn says she can give a better rub than that. Torrie: “And if you don’t believe that, just ask of they guys in the back.”

Rochelle, who is very perky, tells awful jokes so Dawn takes the mic away from her. Lauren dances, meaning more clothes come off. Dawn tells her not to quit her day job because she would starve as a stripper. Michelle goes last and slams Dawn. Much like before, this was quite the waste of time.

JBL shouts about how violent the main event is going to be but he’s going to retain the title and move on to Wrestlemania. His body is temporary but the title is forever. He is the wrestling god.

Luther Reigns vs. Undertaker

Mark Jindrak is here with Reigns, who is NOT scared of Undertaker. Actually never mind as Jindrak is ejected before the match. Undertaker may have a concussion after being hit with a camera on Thursday so Reigns starts with left hands. That just earns him a pull on the arm and Old School into the Downward Spiral for two. Undertaker stops to glare at the referee so Reigns can take the turnbuckle pad off.

Reigns clotheslines him down with another shot to the head, only to get whipped into the exposed buckle (the classic wrestling irony). The apron legdrop keeps Reigns in trouble and he even begs off a bit, which is rare for him. Back in and the referee distraction lets Reigns get in the low blow so he can send Undertaker head first into the exposed buckle. A suplex gives Reigns two as the fans aren’t quite buying Reigns’ offense. Reigns grabs a half crab but stands on Undertaker’s head.

In a move that just looks bad, Reigns stands up while holding the leg like he’s about to turn over for a half crab for some near falls. He’s not even cranking on the leg. Dude at least do something. Undertaker is somehow able to get up from that, tells Reigns to spear him, and then gets taken down by a bad looking spear. Reigns’ swinging neckbreaker is broken up and Undertaker hits a running clothesline in the corner. Snake Eyes doesn’t work for some reason and Undertaker kicks him in the chest for two.

The chokeslam looks to set up the Tombstone but Reigns slips out and hits a reverse DDT (which Cole and Tazz call a swinging neckbreaker several times each). The swinging neckbreaker (for real this time) is broken up and Undertaker grabs a DDT. That’s enough for the Tombstone to finally finish Reigns.

Rating: D-. This was messy, dull, boring, and never in doubt once. Reigns is not working in any way other than standing there and looking intimidating so they keep going with him in this role. Having a muscular lackey is fine but it doesn’t work when he has to wrestle at some point. Undertaker really needs a new opponent because beating up Angle’s goons isn’t working.

Batista still hasn’t arrived.

And now the final Diva round, with Torrie hosting the final round alone. Everyone gets an entrance again (including measurements on a graphic of course). This is the swimsuit round so they all disrobe, the crowd approves and we have to wait on the winner. Joy wins the crowd vote for now. Amazingly enough, Joy wins by a huge margin after being the only contestant pushed on television for months. Another waste of time but with such a small card, it was the best they could do since adding another match or two would have been insanity.

We recap the #1 contenders tournament by looking at each match. The final for the Wrestlemania title shot is tonight.

#1 Contenders Tournament Finals: Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Non-title and Angle is the hometown boy but Cena gets a bigger pop. A headlock takeover puts Cena down to start and a belly to belly lets Angle grab an arm trap choke. The fans think Angle sucks because he can’t get respect in his home town. Back up and Cena gets his own headlock but Angle takes him down in a hurry and slaps on a front facelock.

They fight outside and Cena tackles him over the announcers’ table, which Cole calls a drive by assault. Given that Cena dove onto Angle and landed on him, I don’t think Cole knows what a drive by, where you DRIVE BY AND NOT INTO someone, means. Angle bails from an FU attempt and it’s time to chill on the floor. Back in and Angle hits a release German suplex into the corner to rock Cena for the first time. A suplex gives Angle a pair of ones and a backbreaker gets two.

The bodyscissors goes on as Angle stays on the ribs. Angle adds a chinlock but that’s just feeding a comeback, meaning Cena fires up and elbows his way to freedom. You don’t do that to Angle though and it’s time to roll some German suplexes. Now it’s a chinlock with a knee in the back to punish Cena for that comeback. Cena doesn’t learn so he fights up again and hits a flying shoulder for the double knockdown. The hard clothesline starts the next comeback so Angle rakes the eyes like a veteran.

Cena on the other hand plants him with a spinebuster like a power guy in need of a hope spot. The ProtoBomb gives Cena two but the broken FU is countered into a belly to belly. Angle’s victory roll into the ankle lock has Cena screaming until he rolls through to send Angle outside. As Angle comes back in, Cena scores with a top rope Fameasser for two and the kickout has Cena surprised. The FU gives Cena a delayed two but he doesn’t realize it at first, allowing Angle to get back up as Cena celebrates. Angle goes right after the knee with some cannonballs and wraps around the post.

There’s the Angle Slam but Angle goes for the ankle lock instead of a cover. As tends to be the case in Angle matches, a grab of the rope doesn’t count and Angle puts on the grapevine. The second rope grab counts but Angle puts it on again. This time Cena crawls up the rope and the ref gets bumped as he pulls Angle forward. Angle is frustrated enough to go grab the chain but Cena breaks it up and hits the FU for the pin to go to Wrestlemania.

Rating: B. They had me worried about a Shawn Michaels run in at the end (the fans were cheering for it) because Cena needed to win this one on his own. He has all the momentum in the world but in this case he needed to win the big match to really validate himself. There is nothing holding him back now and pinning Angle is going to take him a long way as far as making him look legitimate.

Angle is ticked about the loss.

Batista is still not here over two hours into the show.

The cage is lowered.

We recap JBL vs. Big Show. They were both part of a triple threat match at the Royal Rumble but JBL pinned Angle to retain. Therefore, he gets to face Show in a barbed wire cage match so no one can interfere. Batista is hanging over the whole thing too, as he thinks JBL tried to run him over on Raw, sending Batista here to deal with him. There is still a chance that Batista will sign with Smackdown to face JBL at Wrestlemania. Right.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is defending, there is barbed wire around the top of the ring, and you win by pinfall, submission or escape, though the door will not be an option. Show punches him in the head to start but JBL blocks some rams into the cage. You don’t do that to Show, who hits him in the back a few times, only to have JBL get smart by going after the leg. JBL goes for a climb and quickly realizes that he’s not going anywhere, allowing JBL to pull him back down. A suplex puts JBL down and the slow pace continues.

JBL manages to get up and send him into the cage for the first time for the first busting open. Since JBL still can’t climb out, he comes back down and chokes away with a tag rope. Show doesn’t seem to mind and comes back with a powerbomb to plant JBL. The champ is busted as well so Show sends him into the cage as the fans are just silent for this. JBL gets catapulted (monkey flipped according to Cole) into the cage as the Cabinet comes out for an attempted save.

Long comes out and says not so fast, making me wonder what the point of the barbed wire is if Long is watching the whole time. Orlando Jordan manages to slip JBL some bolt cutters though and a shot to the head drops Show. The Clothesline From JBL gets two so he tries again, only to charge into a chokeslam for two more. A low blow cuts Show down and JBL goes up but Show’s save makes him drop the cutters.

They’re both on top and that means a super chokeslam to send JBL through the ring. Show slowly climbs down and goes for the door, instead of PINNING THE GUY WHO WENT THROUGH A RING. Instead, he breaks the chain off the door and walks out…..but JBL is on the floor because he crawled through the hole in the ring to retain. The camera didn’t show inside the hole after Show got back down on the mat so it was a surprise, but the crowd was already deflated enough when that was announced.

Rating: D. What a perfect way to end such a terrible show. This was horrible with both guys looking bad and the admittedly creative ending being yet another way to let Bradshaw keep the title against all odds. It goes with the whole problem of the last month and a half: we know where the title reign is ending but it takes a lot of trickeration to get us all the way to Wrestlemania. Boring match for the most part too, which made things even worse.

Post match the cage is raised up and Show beats on JBL. The Cabinet runs in for the save but Batista, in his gear, makes the real save. Cena comes out to beat up JBL and gives him a spinebuster off the tech area through part of the set. Batista and Cena are both coming for the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: F+. Angle vs. Cena is quite good but it’s just not enough to save this wretched show. The problem here is the same thing that I’ve mentioned multiple times: nothing on here, aside from Cena vs. Angle, feels like it’s going to matter in a few weeks. Wrestlemania is all but destined to be Cena vs. JBL and Batista vs. HHH, making most of this feel like a waste of time. Throw in the Divas and the post main event segment only being able to drag this show to 2:35 and you can see a lot of the problems.

The other major issue here is how weak the rest of the roster really is. I kept thinking about how annoying it was to have the Divas out there three times instead of a match, but what else could they have put out there? Van Dam is hurt and I don’t think I could take another Kenzo Suzuki or Rene Dupree match. The roster is just so depleted at the moment and a name or two desperately need to come over from Raw to breathe some life into this place. After this terrible show, that can’t come soon enough. Awful pay per view.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 17, 2005
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for No Way Out but the big story tonight is going to focus on something for Wrestlemania. Batista is here to deal with JBL, who tried to run him down on Raw. We’re still not sure who Batista is going to face at Wrestlemania but things are getting interesting. In another Wrestlemania story, tonight we’re getting John Cena vs. Booker T. in a semifinal match in the #1 contenders tournament. Oh and there are currently three matches announced for No Way Out so we need to get some stuff set up. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of HHH shoving Batista out of the way of the limo on Monday and Batista saying he was coming here alone tonight.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Doug Basham

Danny Basham is here with Doug. Before the match, Rey calls out the Bashams for tearing up Rob Van Dam’s knee. Don’t worry though because he has a new partner and they’re coming for the titles on Sunday. Since Rey is bad at keeping secrets, he announces Eddie Guerrero has his new partner, meaning here’s Eddie to even things up. Danny runs him over with some shoulders to start so it’s a springboard armdrag to put Danny down as well.

A chase lets Rey try a 619 to send Danny outside but an argument with Eddie lets Doug get in some cheap shots. Rey’s sitout bulldog is countered into a belly to back suplex and it’s off to a chinlock. Rey pops up and hits the springboard moonsault press for two, drawing Doug up to the apron. Eddie returns the cheating from earlier by tripping Danny, allowing Rey to hit the 619. Dropping the Dime is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here to set up Sunday’s title match because they don’t have time to give it much attention. That being said, it helps to have a match ready like this with Eddie being inserted in for what was likely a Van Dam/Mysterio rematch. Rey winning was fine and it was very nice to not have it be a tag loss for the champs here, as tends to be the case far too often.

JBL asks Theodore Long what he’s going to do about Batista but Long says it’s not his fault. That makes JBL think Long was behind the attack on Monday to get the title off of him. Long still doesn’t care because Batista is going to be at No Way Out and then on Monday, Long is going to sign him to Smackdown. JBL threatens lawsuits.

We look at the No Way Out press conference with Long promising that this will be the biggest pay per view in the history of Pittsburgh. I don’t quite buy that but it’s a nice line. There are going to be some Divas competitions, which are destined to make my head hurt.

Chavo Guerrero/Spike Dudley/Akio vs. Funaki/Paul London/Shannon Moore

Preview of a six man elimination match for the Cruiserweight Title on Sunday. Shannon and Akio start things off with Akio grabbing a hammerlock and slapping him in the back of the head. That earns him a spinwheel kick to the face and a double suplex with London helping Moore. Chavo comes in and gets headlocked straight down but Akio’s distraction lets Chavo knock London outside. And hang on as here are the four women in the competition on Sunday with signs to campaign for themselves.

After that completely unnecessary cameo, it’s Akio hammering away on London as the previously scheduled match continues. London fights up and brings in Funaki for a high crossbody to start the house cleaning. Everything breaks down with everyone hitting something until Chavo breaks up Funaki’s tornado DDT. London and Moore hit stereo running flip dives to take out Chavo and Akio, leaving Funaki to superkick Spike for the pin.

Rating: C-. If you ignore the Diva cameos, this was a nice enough six man with a fast pace and energized ending. Funaki losing all but guarantees that he’s losing the title on Sunday. That’s fine as he hasn’t been the most thrilling champion, though he has certainly been trying and that’s always nice to see.

Wrestlemania ad, this time featuring Booker T. and Eddie Guerrero as Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta from Pulp Fiction. Booker can be quite the intimidating presence, though adding in CAN YOU DIG THAT SUCKA at the end of the Ezekiel verse is a bit questionable. Then they accidentally shoot the guy they’re sent to scare because they’re not very good at their jobs.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his Invitational. Before we get an opponent out here though, he wishes Booker T. and Cena good luck for Sunday. There’s won’t be any rapping, but there will be some tapping. Angle: “Now can you dig that suckers?” Now get the opponent out here.

Kurt Angle vs. Danny Gimondo

I believe that’s Danny Inferno, who wrestled in OVW as a stereotypical guy from New Jersey but says he’s from Cleveland here. Angle goes after the leg to start but gets kicked away. That’s fine with Kurt as it’s the Angle Slam into the ankle lock for the easy win.

#1 Contenders Tournament Semifinals: John Cena vs. Booker T.

Non-title. Cena and Angle have a staredown in the ramp to preview Sunday. Cena in a Cleveland Indians jersey is a very welcome sight. Feeling out process to start with Cena hitting a shoulder and a hiptoss for two. Some right hands in the corner and an elbow to the face give Cena two more, followed by the armbar. Cena’s big clothesline cuts off the comeback and we hit the front facelock.

It’s way too early for the FU though and a standoff takes us to a break. Back with Cena getting two off a snapmare (A snapmare?) and grabbing a chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry and Booker hits a heck of a superkick to take over. A spinning kick to the face puts Cena down again but he’s right back up with a flapjack. Booker sends him outside and Tazz wants to talk about Cena’s kidney.

Cena walks into a scoop powerslam for two and it’s off to another chinlock. That’s broken up again and Cena hits a flying shoulder to get a breather. The spinebuster takes Cena right back down but the ax kick is countered into the AA. Booker grabs the rope and Booker hits the side kick for two but the Book End is blocked. Cena gets elbowed in the face, which only fires him up enough to hit the AA and advance to No Way Out.

Rating: C+. This story has turned into basically the same thing that happens on Raw: it’s clear that Cena is going on to the World Title match at Wrestlemania so there isn’t much drama to anything Cena, or Batista on Raw, is going to do. That’s not the worst thing in the world either though as Cena is racking up one win after another, which is going to help validate him as the top star on the show. It’s a long road, but it’s a road with the right ending.

Video on last week’s Japan show.

JBL talks to the Cabinet about Batista and mentions that he has fired Amy Weber.

Big Show doesn’t care about Batista showing up because he wants to win the title on Sunday. A barbed wire cage match is unlike anything he’s ever seen but he’s ready to take care of JBL. He doesn’t care if Batista shows up because he’s not getting in. JBL isn’t getting out though, because there is no way out.

Booker runs into Heidenreich, who laughs at him while writing a poem. Booker makes fun of him for being scared of caskets and heavy breathing ensues. There’s your third match announced for No Way Out.

Hall of Fame video, now featuring Roddy Piper.

Nunzio vs. Luther Reigns

Reigns doesn’t waste any time and hits some backbreakers to put Nunzio on the floor early on. A kick to the head rocks Nunzio again and the faceplant neckbreaker completes the squash for Reigns.

Post match Reigns says he isn’t scared of the Undertaker because Undertaker isn’t throwing him off his game. It’s his yard now and if Undertaker wants it back, come take it back.

Undertaker vs. Mark Jindrak

The threat of a big boot scares Reigns off so Jindrak tries to get in a cheap shot, earning himself a toss into the corner. Hang on though as Undertaker needs to go outside and beat Reigns up again, only to miss the big boot on Jindrak. That lets Jindrak take him down into the corner for some choking as I wouldn’t bet on the offense lasting long. A dropkick sets up a chinlock, with Undertaker fighting up without much effort. Undertaker’s running DDT gets two and there’s the chokeslam. The Tombstone is good for the pin.

Rating: D. It’s almost weird seeing Undertaker in such a short match but it’s not strange to see Jindrak lose again. I don’t remember the last time he won a match and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. Reigns is little more than a muscular monster for Undertaker to face before he can do something bigger at Wrestlemania, which is par for the course in February.

Post match, and before the bell is even done ringing, Reigns hits Undertaker in the back of the head with a camera. He’s sitting up before Reigns can even get up the ramp so Reigns knows he’s done on Sunday.

Carlito comes in to see Long, who is not happy to see him. The decision on Long’s future is coming next week, which doesn’t sit well with Carlito. Long doesn’t care because he’s working on signing Batista this Monday. A staredown of two very different looking heads ensues.

No Way Out rundown, now featuring a six match card.

John Cena accuses Josh Matthews of liking boy bands when Angle comes up. They talk about Cena’s first match in the WWE where Angle beat him. Cena is tired of hearing about not belonging here (Angle: “You don’t.”) or not being good enough (Angle: “You’re not.”) or being a punk kid (Angle: “You are.”). Cena knows that he almost had Angle in his debut and on Sunday, Angle is looking at a hungry son of a b**** who is going to Wrestlemania.

JBL and the Cabinet are ready for Batista.

Here are JBL and the Cabinet to address the Batista situation. JBL isn’t someone to try and attack Batista with a car because he’ll face Batista like he has everyone else. If Batista wants some, come get it right now. Oh and Big Show needs to watch if he can put down the pizza. Batista arrives in the parking lot and takes a look at JBL’s limo. He’s not done though and pulls a baseball bat out of his own very nice car.

The limo windows are promptly destroyed and Batista breaks the longhorns with his bare hands. After making sure he looks ok in the side mirror, Batista gets back in his car as the Cabinet runs up the ramp. Batista drives away so here’s Big Show to go after JBL. The Cabinet runs out but here’s Batista again for the save. JBL and the Cabinet bail with a lot of yelling ending the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t a great show as a lot of stuff feels like it doesn’t matter on the way to Wrestlemania. The top two title matches have been known for a long time now but there is only so much that you can do to fill time before you start the actual build to those matches. The rest of the show wasn’t the most thrilling in the world, but the Booker vs. Cena match wasn’t bad and Batista continues to look incredible, even on another show. Then again, none of this matters as next week starts the real build and even though everyone knows what’s coming, the interest goes up because of the big matches.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 14, 2005
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re back in America but the show is in a bit of a weird place at the moment. It’s the last show before No Way Out, meaning the last show before we can officially begin the Road to Wrestlemania. The fans are chomping at the bit to see Batista finally snap and turn on HHH but we need to go through the motions of acting like Batista might go after JBL instead. The inching forward continues tonight so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Chris Jericho in a mock New York Rangers jersey to open things up with the Highlight Reel. The guest this week is Candice Michelle, who is very popular at the moment due to her Go Daddy commercial from the Super Bowl. Jericho talks about all the attention she has been getting since the commercial but Candice doesn’t know what the big deal is about. She teases dancing a bit here and suggests a wardrobe malfunction might happen.

Jericho freaks out over the idea of a bare shoulders. Candice takes her shoulder straps down, giving us a GREAT CAESAR’S GHOST from Jericho. Cue Muhammad Hassan though and Jericho doesn’t seem pleased. The fans give him a USA chant and Hassan calls it hypocrisy. Not the fans chanting USA to an Arab American and proving his point, but Candice being cheered while he received no accolades for beating Sgt. Slaughter. This is part of the dumbing down of America and Jericho is the poster child of stupidity (I’m having Dean Douglas flashbacks).

Jericho thinks they have a lot in common. See, Hassan and Daivari are Arab Americans and he is the Ayatollah of rock and rollah. Daivari rants and points but Jericho doesn’t play on that side of the fence. Jericho has seen the way they look at each other and gets the idea: Daivari is Hassan’s special Valentine! The match is on after the break.

Chris Jericho vs. Muhammad Hassan

Joined in progress with Hassan getting dropped with a belly to back suplex followed by a regular one for the arrogant two. The Walls attempt doesn’t work so Jericho hits a springboard shoulder to knock him off the apron. A Daivari distraction lets Hassan get in a backbreaker though and it’s time to start in on the ribs. It’s kind of amazing how much easier Hassan is to watch when he’s in a match that might mean something.

The shots to the back are cut off with a spinwheel kick and Jericho hits the running crotch attack to the back. The Flashback looks to finish Hassan but Daivari has the referee. That earns him a springboard dropkick, but the distraction lets Hassan hit the Downward Spiral for the pin.

Rating: D+. I said it was easier to watch but that doesn’t make it good. Hassan’s matches just don’t have many good qualities to them and when the promos are the exact same thing every week, he’s just not going to get very far. I know WWE thinks this is the best idea they’ve had in a good while because it ties into the real world news of the moment, but it’s really not working because they’re not letting it go beyond the stereotypical characteristics.

HHH is ready for a fight because JBL is on his way here to confront Batista. Ric Flair goes to tell Batista and HHH is upset because this is an insult to Evolution.

Announced for the Hall of Fame: Roddy Piper. He has to be there.

Randy Orton talks to Stacy Keibler and she calls him trouble. Stacy asks him if he’d like to do something after the show and Orton is down. These two have less chemistry than an English class.

Flair interrupts Batista flirting with Maria and doesn’t care about JBL showing up. That’s cool with Flair, who says if JBL becomes too big of a problem, Batista can just beat him at Wrestlemania. Batista hasn’t made his mind up yet but he will next week. As for tonight though, Batista wants HHH to stay out of it with JBL. He’s smart, looking intimidating and has a backbone. More reasons why he got over as much as he did.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Gene Snitsky

Benjamin is defending and kicks away to start, setting up the Stinger Splash in the corner. Snitsky kicks him down though and we hit the chinlock, which doesn’t last very long. A middle rope elbow misses Shelton and JR goes into a rant about Piper having the character to go into the Hall of Fame.

Shelton hits a great looking top rope clothesline for two as a fan holds up a Jay Mariotti Fears Woody Paige sign (ESPN fans might get that one). Snitsky’s pumphandle powerslam is broken up so he kicks Shelton in the face for two instead. That means some yelling at the referee, followed by a nasty chair shot to the head for the DQ.

Rating: D. Well it’s better than watching Shelton vs. Maven all over again. Benjamin is still one of the smoothest performers in wrestling and someone who can make anything he does look great. Snitsky is fine as a monster and just getting him away from Kane is a huge improvement. The rematch won’t be great but at least there’s a story to get us there.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. William Regal/Tajiri

Regal and Tajiri are defending after having won the titles last week. Conway punches Regal to start and it’s quickly off to Grenier for a headlock. Since it’s just a headlock, Tajiri comes in for some kicks (which look good as always) to take over. Conway tries to come back in to draw Regal in as well, allowing a neckbreaker from behind to take Tajiri down. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Tajiri fights up and hits the handspring elbow. Regal comes back in and it’s forearms a go-go, plus the knee trembler to finish Conway and retain the titles in a hurry.

Rating: D+. They really need to get away from La Resistance now as they’ve been beaten so many times that the value is gone. I know that means they need to build up some new challengers and that isn’t their strong suit, but they need to do something fresh. Regal and Tajiri don’t feel like long term champions and Tajiri is just Eugene’s replacement, but there is no one who is taking the titles at the moment.

Randy Orton vs. Christian

They’re not wasting as much time with backstage stuff this week. Tyson Tomko is out with Christian, who shoves Orton to start and gets punched in the face. That means more right hands on the mat as Orton is keeping it simple here. A headlock keeps Christian in place and Orton does it again as they seem to have some time for this one. Christian gets back up and chokes in the corner but takes too much time slapping his chest, allowing Orton to punch some more.

Tomko’s distraction doesn’t work as Christian charges into another right hand but Christian finally gets a backdrop to the floor. That lets Tomko make up for his general ineptness with a whip into the steps as we take a break. Back with Tomko having been ejected and Christian (sporting a big welt on the side of his head) grabbing a chinlock. A dropkick and neckbreaker get two each and it’s the chinlock sequel. The reverse DDT gets two more so Christian steps on his head in frustration.

You don’t do that to someone so Orton whips him chest first into the buckle and they’re both down. Orton’s comeback is on with a dropkick and backdrop, plus a long series of forearms to the chest. The great looking high crossbody gets two but Christian dodges a charge to send him into the post. Christian goes for the buckle so here’s Tomko for a big boot to give him two. Orton’s backbreaker sets up a failed RKO attempt, so Orton leapfrogs over him and hits the RKO for the pin.

Rating: B. These two have always worked well together and Christian is getting something out of these matches. It’s the kind of push where he might not be winning but he’s establishing that he can hang with top stars. That and the still funny promos are going to make him a bigger star and the push is seemingly waiting in the wings.

Eric Bischoff is on the phone with Theodore Long, who he accuses of sending JBL here. That’s fine with Eric because Batista will deal with JBL just fine. Edge comes in to complain about everyone talking about Batista. Last week, Batista cost him the world Title and tonight Edge is going to beat him again. Then JBL can come in and beat Batista up so Batista will sign to face JBL at Wrestlemania. Bischoff thinks that’s unlikely but lets Edge go on. If Edge wins, he should get the World Title shot at Wrestlemania. Bischoff doesn’t say anything, as the logic isn’t strong with this one.

Video on the Japan tour.

Here’s Trish Stratus for a chat. Last week during the Divas fashion show, she realized that the new women are trying to steal her spotlight. It doesn’t matter if you’re Brittney Freaking Spears, no one is doing that to her. Trish wants Christy Hemme out here right now because the Women’s Champion wants to say something. Christy comes out with JR praising her personality. Lawler: “THAT’S WHAT YOU NOTICE ABOUT HER???”

Trish brings up a word that the fans used to chant at her, which starts up all over again because there is strong power of suggestion in wrestling. That word (s***) is Christy’s now because she has agreed to pose in Playboy. Christy is giggling with pride and thinks people will want to see the magazine. That doesn’t make the chant apply to her though. Sleeping with half the locker room like Trish does though. A big slap drops Christy as WWE’s inability to go a few months without a women’s storyline involving sex amazes me.

We look back at the end of last week’s show with Batista costing Edge the World Title match.

Kane vs. Simon Dean

Before the match, Simon nearly cries about how his career is probably about to end. Worry not though, because he will continue to produce the Simon System. If you don’t believe in him, he sentences you to a life of obesity! Kane is tired of listening and starts the stalking so Dean hides behind the referee. A glare at said referee allows Simon to throw powder in Kane’s eyes. Kane doesn’t mind and kicks him in the face as the pain is imminent. The chokeslam is loaded up but Kane stops for some pushups. Now the chokeslam can finish Dean in a hurry.

We look back at the videos from JBL and Big Show, which don’t please Batista.

Earlier today, Coach annoyed Shawn Michaels (who looks weird in a suit) about Kurt Angle bragging over what happened at the Royal Rumble. Shawn suggests Angle focus on his match at No Way Out, even though Shawn has some incredible talent of his own.

HHH asks Batista about JBL. Batista wants to handle it himself but HHH says this is about all of Evolution. Tonight, Batista can worry about Edge and HHH will deal with JBL. Batista leaves and HHH says he has his back.

Chris Masters is coming.

Batista vs. Edge

HHH is at ringside. Edge’s headlock is broken up by Batista just lifting him into the air and it’s time to hammer in the corner. They head outside with Edge grabbing an Edge O Matic on the floor for a rather sick thud. Back in and Edge chokes on the rope, followed by a neckbreaker for two.

We hit the cravate for a bit until Batista powers up with a World’s Strongest Slam. A shoulder looks to set up the spinebuster but Edge reverses into the Edgecution. The spinebuster cuts off the spear and the Batista Bomb connects….as JBL’s limo arrives. HHH comes in and shoves the referee down and that’s a rather abrupt DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and the ending was just there to protect both guys. That was about the only option they had other than Edge walking out so I can live with the lame DQ for a change. Batista and JBL isn’t likely to happen but it’s a box they need to check off before we can get to a bigger story.

Post match Flair waves Batista and HHH to the back with HHH saying this is about Evolution. Batista says it’s about him vs. JBL but here’s the limo to try and run Batista over. HHH shoves him out of the way as the limo drives off. Batista is ticked off and promises to go to Smackdown on his own to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The holding pattern continues and there is only so much that Orton vs. Christian could do to save the rest of the show. That being said, this is pretty definitively the last show before we get to the stuff that really matters. Wrestlemania is coming and it’s going to be all about Batista, which is exactly what the fans want. The contract signing next week is going to change everything and it’s time to get things moving. This show wasn’t good, but it’s not like that is going to matter beyond next Monday.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 10, 2005
Location: Saitama Super Arena, Saitama, Japan
Attendance: 18,757
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re over in Japan for the first time in Smackdown history and it’s tournament time. With less than two weeks to go before No Way Out, we need a #1 contender for Wrestlemania so it’s time for a tournament to get us to that point. There are two first round matches tonight and one of them actually seems interested. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Assuming the information is correct, there were about 2,000 more people here than for Monday Night Raw. Rather odd given how stacked Raw was.

Opening sequence.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kenzo Suzuki

Kenzo is booed out of the building and there’s no Hiroko. The EDDIE chants get on Kenzo’s nerves even more so he starts stomping away in the corner. Choking on the mat makes it even worse and a running knee drop gives Kenzo two. We hit the nerve hold as Cole explains the difference between Japanese and American crowds. Eddie fights up with some right hands to the head and the Three Amigos connect. The frog splash finishes Kenzo without much effort.

Rating: D+. And that’s it for Kenzo, at least on Smackdown. He’s one of those guys who never did anything more than make a few footnotes and there isn’t exactly much to remember about him. Other than the period where he wanted Torrie, there was little more to him than “Japanese villain”. You need more than that and Kenzo never got close.

Kurt Angle is ready for Rey Mysterio in the tournament tonight, even though Mark Jindrak didn’t do anything against Mysterio last week. When he wins tonight, he has a path to the finals because Undertaker didn’t win. Reigns doesn’t like Undertaker being treated like something big and special around here. He talks about his time in prison and being in jail for five calendars (Is “year” now on the no list?). After doing all that, he’s not scared of caskets or the Dead Man. Angle: “That’s the intensity that I want.” I just want an Undertaker feud that doesn’t involve someone saying they’re not scared of him.

Tag Team Titles: Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are defending. Doug and Jindrak start things off with the former double legging Jindrak, meaning Angle’s coaching isn’t doing all that well. Reigns gets in a cheap shot from the back and the challengers take over. Jindrak snaps off a suplex and hits the hip swivel….and there’s the gong. The lights go out and Undertaker appears for the beating and the no contest, which isn’t a DQ for no logical reason.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and was just there to set up Reigns vs. Undertaker at No Way Out. That’s not the worst idea in the world and it’s not like the champs were dead to rites. It’s a nice enough TV angle, albeit one that came after a match that showed how generic these teams are.

Video on the fans loving the show being in Japan and John Cena meeting some of them.

Joy Giovanni is shooting a t-shirt gun. And that’s it.

Kenzo fires up Hiroko for the Kimono match with Torrie Wilson. He rather likes the idea of Hiroko exposing Torrie.

JBL complains to Amy Weber about the barbed wire cage match and promises to do something drastic to Big Show. He pulls out a tranquilizer gun to shoot Show, which will keep him out of the cage match. Amy takes the gun but Orlando Jordan opens the door behind her and JBL gets shot in the neck. After standing up for a second, JBL goes right back down.

Sumo champion Akebono is here again.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Chavo Guerrero

Funaki is the home country champion and gets the biggest reaction of his career. They take their time to start and we get a friendly slap of hands. Funaki takes him to the mat and grabs a quickly broken headscissors. The fast paced covers get two each and it’s a standoff. As you might expect, the commentators ignore the match to talk about JBL being shot as Chavo gets in a cheap shot to take over. Some uppercuts have Funaki in trouble and a suplex gets two.

The chinlock and a belly to back suplex get two more on Funaki as the announcers move on to talking about beer in vending machines. It’s off to an Octopus Hold and the fans gasp a bit at seeing Chavo bust it out. That’s broken up and Funaki hits a basement dropkick, followed by a bulldog for two. The tornado DDT is broken up so Funaki’s enziguri gives him another two. Funaki goes up but gets superplexed back down and a backbreaker gets two. Chavo makes the mistake of putting him on top though and the tornado DDT retains the title.

Rating: C+. Well that was a surprise. It’s a good sign that the announcers got into the match as the action was good enough to draw them in. Funaki winning clean is something you probably wouldn’t get today so it’s nice that the company actually used to care about something like this. Nice match too.

Carlito takes credit for Theodore Long not being here when a rather woozy JBL comes in to ask how Carlito’s hair got through customs. Orlando Jordan comes in to check on JBL, who tells him to go take care of the Vanilla Ice rapper. Jordan leaves and JBL yells at an inflatable dinosaur.

Basic Instinct Wrestlemania trailer, with Stacy Keibler implying a special relationship with Trish Stratus. Chris Benoit, Christian and Chris Jericho asking about various matches, including hardcore and mixed tags, is rather amusing, though Stacy tops them by making lingerie pillow fights sound serious. Moolah and Mae Young as the big gag at the end isn’t funny, but the rest was great.

#1 Contenders Tournament Quarterfinals: John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title. Before the match, Cena raps about beating up Orlando Jordan to send a message to JBL while making a bunch of OJ Simpson references. Jordan gets in his token offense to start so Cena hits the hiptoss and release fisherman’s suplex to get us out of the rooking wrestling level. Cena charges into a boot in the face and gets clotheslined down, allowing Jordan to start with the boxing punches. The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by an elbow to Cena’s jaw for two. Cena comes back with the hard clotheslines, throws in a bow, and drops the ProtoBomb. There’s the Shuffle and the FU finishes Jordan in a hurry.

Rating: D. This was a world of difference with Cena’s offense having fire and snap while Jordan….well there’s just nothing good about it. He’s boring, he’s first gear the whole way, there’s nothing that makes him stand out and he’s just a warm body for Cena to beat up. That’s fine for a lackey, but watching him have a match is painful.

Post break the Cabinet can’t find JBL. Tazz: “How do you lose a 6’6 WWE Champion with a cowboy hat?” Completely valid (and unique) question.

Torrie Wilson vs. Hiroko

Kimono match, which is the same as an evening gown match. Well, with a different kind of clothing but you get the idea. Hiroko throws salt in the eyes to start but her kicks to the ribs are cut off by a clothesline. Torrie’s kimono gets pulled up so she hits a shoulder in the corner and grabs an airplane spin. Hiroko gets stripped to give Torrie the win. This is every version of the match you’ve ever seen.

Torrie strips as a bonus. As she is leaving, here’s JBL with the dinosaur. He tries to throw it in the ring but it falls backwards onto him in a funny bit. Post break JBL has it in his ring and accuses it of being a lizard on “stee-roids.” JBL: “You’re like Barry Bonds. I bet you play baseball.” As he continues to sound completely out of it (as he should), JBL talks about how it’s just a dinosaur like Big Show (JBL: “His name is Barney. He likes pizza.”). JBL stands for Just Beat A Lizard and the dinosaur falls forward.

The jacket and tie come off and JBL threatens the dinosaur for disrespecting him. He is NOT scared and wants a fight as Cole calls this embarrassing for the champ. There go JBL’s shirt and pants, revealing pink underwear. Cue Big Show, just as JBL decides the dinosaur is a dragon. JBL slugs away and hits the Clothesline, drawing out the Cabinet for the big beatdown as JBL is fine. So it was all a ruse. A chair to Show’s hand misses and Show cleans house without much trouble. That’s making it a lot more complicated than it needed to be. I guess “jump him in the back with a bunch of chairs” was too complicated?

JBL was very funny here and that’s something that people often forget about his title reign. His time as champion seems to be remembered as doing the same things over and over again with nothing ever changing. While that might be the case during most of his matches, JBL did some very good comedy in there and it was really entertaining stuff a lot of the time, like this right here.

During the break, Show talked about how much he could hurt people with no trouble and promised to do that at No Way Out. That brings him to Akebono, who knows what it’s like to be this size. If Akebono is a grand champion, he can get in the ring and prove it right now. Akebono does just that and while he isn’t as tall as Show, he’s certainly wider in girth. They shake hands and Show raises his hand. Well that was anticlimactic, which is probably the best thing right now.

No Way Out rundown, with two matches (cage, Reigns vs. Undertaker) announced for the show, which is in ten days.

Angle tells Mysterio to not get his hopes up, which Rey interprets as Angle not respecting him. The joke will be on Angle tonight.

Video on the Japanese tour, with JBL saying there is no language barrier.

#1 Contenders Tournament Quarterfinals: Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle

This is really a semifinals match as the winner gets a spot in the finals. No springboard entrance for Rey here. Mysterio gets nowhere on a wrestling attempt so it’s time to rethink the strategy. Angle grabs the arm and then a waistlock so Rey elbows his way out. Rey tries to run so Angle knees him in the ribs for the easy cut off. Back up and Rey gets smart with a headscissors but it’s too early for the 619.

That means another standoff before Angle headlocks Rey down for some control. Rey slips out again and hits a basement dropkick, setting up the ten right hands in the corner with the fans counting in English. The quick belly to belly gets Angle out of trouble though and we take a break. Back with Angle fighting out of a chinlock and sending Angle outside, meaning it’s time for a dive. Since Angle isn’t quite human, he’s right back with a German suplex and a backbreaker for two.

Some knees to the back have Rey in more trouble and Angle takes him down for some rolling near falls. Angle ties him in the Tree of Woe, which does not seem cool with the fans. A charge goes into the post though and Rey has a bit of a breather. The springboard seated senton rocks Angle but he’s right back with a hard clothesline. Rey knocks him into the ropes for the 619 but the West Coast Pop is blocked. A standing hurricanrana gives Rey two but the sitout bulldog is countered into the Angle Slam. There’s the ankle lock and Rey taps.

Rating: B. Like this was going to be anything other than good. These two have always had chemistry together and this match told a rather awesome story. Angle was aggressive throughout with Rey getting in his high risk spots where he could, only to get caught in the big moves at the end. Angle winning sets up a big match for Cena in the finals and that’s what matters in the end.

Here are the updated brackets:

Kurt Angle

BYE

Booker T.

John Cena

Overall Rating: C. Raw was way better, but this was a fun show as well with the main event helping out quite a bit. JBL was a nice bit of humor in the middle as well and there were enough good moments throughout to make the show entertaining. No Way Out should wrap up smoothly enough (once we get a card that is) and then it’s on to Wrestlemania, where everything can finally change. This wasn’t Raw, but it was an acceptable alternative.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 7, 2005
Location: Super Arena, Saitama, Japan
Attendance: 16,657
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a first for the company as they are now heading over to Japan for a rare international Raw. It’s a stacked card too with the Tag Team Titles on the line, Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho in a submission match and Edge FINALLY getting his World Title shot against HHH. Given the way things are going, we might actually get some lengthy matches out of all three. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence, still featuring the Rock. How long has it been since he’s been in anything more than a cameo?

Here’s Eric Bischoff to get things going. Bischoff says he is the GM of Raw and one of the most powerful and respected men in wrestling. The translator explains it to the Japanese crowd, who are NOT happy with Bischoff. In addition to the previously announced matches, we’re getting Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair. We’ll get things going right now.

Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Submission match. Jericho goes nose to nose with him to start and it’s an aggressive lockup to start. They go outside without breaking the lockup and it’s more nose to nose. Back in and Benoit starts in on a hammerlock but has to break up a Walls attempt. Neither of them can get anywhere on the mat and that means another standoff. Jericho drops him ribs first over the top rope but the springboard dropkick is knocked out of the air.

An exchange of headbutts puts them both on the floor though and we take a break. Back with Benoit snapping off a suplex as Jericho is busted open. Jericho breaks up the rolling German suplexes and grabs an octopus hold of all things. That’s reversed as well though and now the rolling German suplexes connect. The third is countered into a half crab though as Jericho is opening up the submission playbook here.

Rating: B. Oh like this wasn’t going to be awesome with the two of them in a hard hitting match in Japan. There’s something awesome about watching Benoit try for submissions (I could watch him snap people down into the Crossface for hours) as he has more intensity with them than anyone else. Jericho can hang with him in there for a bit but Benoit winning makes more sense here.

Post match they shake hands and Benoit gets to pose in the ring on his own for a bit.

Video on the trip to Japan and their time there so far.

Ric Flair had a great time in Roppongi last night and can’t wait for a great evening for Evolution. HHH has been thinking about Batista and maybe they should fight at Wrestlemania. Flair isn’t sure and likes the idea of HHH and Batista ruling the two shows (Flair: “And I’m part of the show too!”). HHH agrees and is going to talk to Batista.

Christian is talking to a Japanese reporter but stops to ask Stacy Keibler for a quote for the article. The interviewer is looking for Randy Orton, which gets a big reaction. Apparently Christian is very annoying. Christian mocks Orton’s posing and thinks he’s a chair shot away from ending his career. Stacy thinks Orton could beat Christian so Christian wants a match tonight. With Tomko that is.

Wrestlemania Braveheart trailer.

Maven wants to know why he wasn’t in the Royal Rumble. Since he wasn’t, he’ll win here instead.

Batista vs. Maven

Guess what happens. Thirty seconds.

Post match we get another video from Smackdown, with Big Show being ready to beat Batista at Wrestlemania after he wins the title at No Way Out. Batista isn’t pleased. I’m not sure why Batista looks so stunned when this interview aired on Smackdown last week. It’s not like it’s a hidden camera.

Post break Batista rants at Bischoff about the Smackdown footage so Bischoff promises to get to the bottom of it. First though, Bischoff needs to talk to him about Theodore Long’s Smackdown offer. Smackdown is second rate and Raw is in the palm of his hand. Batista seems interested by both ideas.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. William Regal/Tajiri

Regal and Tajiri are challenging and the fans are WAY behind Tajiri, in case that wasn’t clear. Regal takes Conway down by the arm to start and it’s off to Tajiri for a baseball slide to the face. It’s back to Regal, who gets taken down by a quick suplex. A backdrop gets Regal out of a front facelock and it’s back to Tajiri for the hard kicks. An enziguri drops Grenier for two and the fans aren’t pleased. That means a double handspring elbow to take the champs down so Grenier grabs the flag. Tajiri kicks it away though and fires off some mist, setting up the Buzzsaw kick for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. The match itself wasn’t the point here as this was ALL about the home country pop for Tajiri and there’s nothing wrong with that. Regal and Tajiri have a history together so it’s not like this was even that far out of left field. It’s not like La Resistance has any value at the moment anyway. Not a good match (though it was far from terrible) but they did exactly what they were trying to do.

Post match Tajiri says something in Japanese and the new champs celebrate in the crowd.

Sumo champion Akebono is in the crowd.

Here are some of this year’s Hall of Fame inductees.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

You know Flair is getting the legend reaction here. Shawn’s is a bit louder but the fans are clapping instead of bowing. The fans respect them both but in different ways. Flair takes him into the corner and sneaks in an elbow as a villain should. The chops and right hands in the corner wake Shawn up enough to reverse for some chops of his own. A backdrop keeps Flair in trouble so he pokes the eye to take over. Shawn is right back with some right hands to set up the Flair Flop for two.

Flair gets smart and hits the chop block to take over, meaning it’s time for the standard leg work. The Figure Four goes on but is finally turned over, meaning Flair can kick at the leg some more. Shawn is fine enough to get two off a backslide as Lawler counts to two in Japanese. An enziguri drops Shawn and the fans are very appreciative of a tribute to Inoki. Flair kicks at the knee again and goes up, with the crowd instantly knowing what’s coming. The forearm into the nipup sets up the top rope elbow so Sweet Chin Music can finish clean.

Rating: C+. This took some time to get going but they finished as they should have. Both of them are legends in Japan so the fans were going to cheer anything they did out there. It was fine to play it safe with a basic match not try to do anything too big, as Shawn is gearing up for Kurt Angle and Flair is going to be there for HHH and Batista.

Here’s Jerry Lawler in the ring for an American fashion show. Maria is out first to represent the wild, wild west (she’s wearing a cowboy hat and shooting finger guns), Victoria represents the open road as a biker (jacket over her usual gear), and Christy represents the beaches in a swimsuit. Lawler tries to go over some rules for the thing but it’s Simon Dean interrupting instead.

Simon calls this a waste of time and insults the crowd, drawing Akebono out of his chair. That goes nowhere as Simon calls the women overweight. Lawler stands up for them so Simon calls him Burger King. Christy gets in a low blow and Simon is done. Pretty close to a waste of time.

Evolution has a meeting in the back with HHH trying to talk Batista into going to Smackdown (Didn’t he want him on Raw about forty minutes ago?). Flair paints the picture and Batista will think about it as they stop Edge from winning the title tonight.

Edge isn’t happy with everyone talking about Batista when he finally has his title shot tonight. HHH has his Braveheart trailer for Wrestlemania where he talks about defending the title because Edge gets overlooked again.

Video on the trip to Japan.

Randy Orton vs. Tyson Tomko

Orton seems more popular here than in America. No Christian with Tomko in a bit of a surprise. A headlock takeover has Tomko down early on as Lawler blames Stacy for getting Orton into this. Back up and Tomko hits a powerslam as Christian drags Stacy out here. The distraction lets Tomko hit a big clothesline and it’s time to wonder about another concussion.

Tomko starts going after the head in slow motion but the backbreaker gets Orton out of trouble. Orton slugs away and hits a dropkick but bangs his head again. Back up and Tomko whips him into the corner, which is reversed into a rollup for a pretty fast pin. Oh and Stacy cheers to validate her existence.

Rating: D. I could go for Christian vs. Orton and this was an acceptable step to get there. That being said, it didn’t do much for Tomko, who is only there for the sake of being big and imposing while attacking some people between matches. It’s better to not have him in a match of his own as things don’t tend to go all that well.

Post match Christian and Tomko jump Orton with Christian hitting an Unprettier. Orton had to be helped out during the break. It’s so strange seeing concussions being used as a storyline these days.

We look back at Regal and Tajiri winning the Tag Team Titles.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. HHH

HHH is defending and has Flair with him. They trade hammerlocks to start and now the fans are rather quiet, likely because they know how important a World Title match is. HHH bridges up into a backslide, albeit after a bit of a slip, for two but Edge grabs a headscissors on the mat. Back up and Edge hits a spear in the corner but a second attempt hits post, as tends to be the case.

We take a break and come back with Edge getting two off a backbreaker. A DDT on the arm gets HHH out of trouble and they’re both down. The facebuster gives HHH two and the spinebuster is good for the same. Edge backdrops his way out of the Pedigree but the spear is cut off by the running knee. A shot to the back takes HHH down though and a pretty weak Edgecator goes on. That stays on for a rather long time until HHH dives over for the rope.

Edge’s spear hits the referee as we get more into Evolution’s wheelhouse. There’s no count off a neckbreaker so Edge has to spear Flair down, knocking a chair out of his hands. HHH gets in a belly to back suplex to make Edge drop the chair and everyone is down again. They both crawl for the chair but here’s Batista to take it away. HHH knocks Edge off the apron, sending him into Batista by mistake. Back in and Edge hits the Impaler for yet another double knockdown. Batista comes in and spinebusters Edge, setting up the Pedigree to retain the title.

Rating: C. They would have been better off with about two minutes of laying around cut out of this but Edge can continue to rant about not getting a fair shot so he’ll be fine. What matters most here is HHH needs Batista again, furthering Batista’s big moment which has to be coming in the next few weeks. Not a bad match, but it was more about the stories than anything else.

HHH holds up the title but Batista looks at both him and the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This felt like a pay per view edition of Raw and it’s always nice to see something like that. They had some big matches with a cool moment in the title change, plus a pretty awesome opener. Once we get No Way Out finished up, it’s time to get things going to Wrestlemania. What matters here though is how much groundwork has been laid, because as soon as Batista gets his moment, everything is going to change for good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 3, 2005
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Attendance: 9,200
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s always nice to see a birthday show. This was taped after Raw on Monday so the fans are going to be a little more worn out than usual. We’re coming off of the Royal Rumble where JBL retained the World Title, but now he has a barbed wire cage match with Big Show. Oh and John Cena, who was the runner up in the Rumble and clearly the next top challenger. Let’s get to it.

Here are Sunday’s results if you need a recap.

We’re not wasting time this week as here’s Cena, with a censored hat, to open things up. Cena talks about this being a chain gang town before talking about being controversial. He references the hat (looked like the Ruck Fules hat) being controversial and throws it into the crowd. Since he’s always involved in controversy, it makes sense that he was in the end of a controversial Royal Rumble. That’s in the past though because Batista was the winner. Cena wants him to come to Smackdown because the champ is here.

Instead, here’s Theodore Long for a chat. There is a chance that Batista is coming to Smackdown but just in case he doesn’t, the WWE Champion will need a #1 contender. Therefore, tonight we’re starting an eight man #1 contenders tournament. If Batista comes over anyway, the title match will be a triple threat. Cue a ticked off JBL to say that the champ is here now. JBL yells at Long about the cage match and takes credit for all of Smackdown’s success. AND DON’T CALL HIM DAWG.

Long says the tournament is still on and next week it’s Orlando Jordan vs. John Cena in at first round match. JBL: “You didn’t tell me Orlando was in it!” Long: “You wouldn’t shut up!” As for Cena, it’s too bad that he doesn’t make it beyond the first round but he doesn’t deserve it anyway. The fans tell JBL to shut up but he goes on about how Cena will never get a WWE Title shot because he isn’t in JBL’s league. Jordan charges at Cena and gets thrown to the floor, followed by an FU to JBL. Just in case you needed to wonder who was winning the tournament.

Here’s Kurt Angle for the Invitational, but first he talks about how much fun it was to beat up Shawn Michaels at the Royal Rumble. He stopped the Showstopper and made Shawn suffer so it was a good night. Next week his Road to Wrestlemania begins with a first round match in the tournament. As for tonight though, here’s the hometown challenger.

Kurt Angle vs. Nunzio

Nunzio says he told the other kid to stay in the back because he wants revenge for Angle taking his spot. Angle is so intimidated that he pulls his straps back up before taking Nunzio down by the arm. Another takedown is reversed into a rollup to give Nunzio two and now Angle is annoyed. The first suplex sets up the ankle lock and the grapevine makes Nunzio tap in a hurry.

Video on WWE coming to Japan.

Angle is pleased with his win and is ready to face Mysterio next week. Then he finds out that his second round opponent could be the Undertaker, meaning it’s time to talk strategy with Luther Reigns.

Carlito tells Long that he has sent in the petition, meaning Long will be in Connecticut next week, explaining his actions to the Board of Directors.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Jindrak

Mysterio crawls between the legs a few times to start and makes Jindrak charge into some boots in the corner. Possibly inspired by Rey, Jindrak hits a boot of his own (the left leg for a weird sight) but has to block the 619. A hard whip into the corner has Rey down again and we hit the chinlock.

One heck of a left hand gives Jindrak two and we hit the hip swivel. That means a takedown and basement dropkick into the springboard seated senton for two. Jindrak grabs a pop up backbreaker for two but Mysterio starts kicking at the leg. Another dropkick sets up the 619 but the West Coast Pop misses. That’s fine with Rey as it’s a headscissors into the corner, setting up a rollup to finish Jindrak.

Rating: C. Better than I was expecting here as Jindrak’s athleticism was on at least half display here. Mysterio was looking rather crisp here as well with someone different to work against. Having Mysterio beat one of Angle’s lackeys makes sense as a way to set up next week’s tournament match too.

Amy Weber gives Joy Giovanni a $200 dry cleaning bill for ruining her dress last week. If Joy doesn’t pay, the Bashams will make Big Show pay instead.

Wrestlemania Eugene/Forrest Gump ad.

Basham Brothers vs. Big Show

Show chops and tosses Danny to start so Doug tries his luck instead. Show throws him around too but charges into some boots in the corner. A high crossbody gives Danny two and Doug hammers away in the corner to some avail. Danny tries to bring in a chair but it gets punched into his head. The chokeslam finishes Doug.

Rating: D. This wasn’t as bad as Batista squashing the stuffing out of La Resistance but it wasn’t much better. Big Show was never in any danger here and he beat up the champs in short order. It’s not like the titles are strong in the first place so why have them lose like this? Get jobbers, get another team, have Show fight them one at a time. Just don’t have him beat them up this badly.

We get the announcement of some of the Hall of Fame Class of 2005:

Paul Orndorff

Iron Sheik

Nikolai Volkoff

Bob Orton

Jimmy Hart

Not a bad class, but it needs the big name.

Here are the tournament brackets:

Rey Mysterio

Kurt Angle

Undertaker

Rene Dupree

Orlando Jordan

John Cena

Booker T.

Eddie Guerrero

#1 Contenders Tournament Quarterfinals: Rene Dupree vs. Undertaker

Undertaker headlocks him to start as the announcers talk about writing on trunks. As Tazz decides that Cole’s trunks would say Pony Pants, here are Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak to watch from ringside. We take a break and come back with Undertaker working on the arm, setting up Old School. Dupree manages to send him outside though and a bit of dancing distracts the referee long enough for Jindrak and Reigns to stomp away. An ax handle off the apron is countered into a ram into the post though and the apron legdrop connects.

The running big boot in the corner misses though and Dupree starts in on the leg. A scoop powerslam sets up the French Tickler but Undertaker sits up. Undertaker’s running DDT sets up the triangle choke but he has to go after Jindrak and Reigns instead. Dupree falls outside as Undertaker beats the other two up. Reigns grabs Undertaker’s leg to keep him from getting back inside though and it’s a double countout.

Rating: D+. You know, this felt like a match that should have been boring but Dupree gave it everything he had and got as much out of it as possible. There is only so much you can do to make Undertaker vs. Dupree believable and they came as close as they could to making it work. The downside though: Undertaker vs. Jindrak/Reigns.

Big Show is looking forward to destroying JBL at No Way Out because JBL is right where he wants him. He’d love to face Batista at Wrestlemania.

Booker T. isn’t happy with Eddie Guerrero for eliminating him from the Royal Rumble. He can make up for it by advancing in the tournament though.

New Wrestlemania ad with HHH as Braveheart. Ric Flair pops up at the end to pull a donkey.

#1 Contenders Tournament Quarterfinals: Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T.

Cole: “Who will be brave of heart in this next match?” They take their time to start with Booker being kicked away from the leg. Eddie suplexes his way out of a headlock and grabs one of his own as they seem to have a lot of time here. A suplex gets Booker out of trouble as well and we hit the chinlock. Booker gets two off an elbow to the jaw but walks into a flapjack. It’s way too early for the frog splash though and we take a break with Booker rolling to the floor.

Back with Eddie hitting the slingshot hilo but getting caught on top with a superplex. A top wristlock is broken up with Booker being sent head first into the buckle so it’s a sleeper to keep Eddie in trouble instead. Eddie fights up but misses a charge to send him crashing outside in a heap. Booker sends him into the steps and grabs the Book End back inside but Eddie gets a foot on the rope.

The comeback is on with some dropkicks and Three Amigos but the frog splash misses. The referee gets kicked down and Booker’s ax kick gets a very delayed two. Eddie shoves Booker into the referee for a second bump before dropping to the mat, clutching his knee. Booker yells at the referee but smiles because he knows what Eddie is doing. Eddie’s suplex is countered into a rollup with tights to give Booker the pin.

Rating: C+. This one took some time to get going and they were going slowly, but it was the kind of slowly that helped a lot when they got to the more intense parts at the end. The ending was rather nice too as I love when a wrestler thinks during a match. Booker was smart here and that’s not something you get enough of in wrestling. He was smart enough to know exactly what Eddie was doing and caught him using his own game.

Overall Rating: D+. They’re not hiding the fact that Cena is the next guy but it’s going to take some time to get there. No Way Out is kind of a necessary evil at this point as the show isn’t going to mean anything but it would be far too much waiting around to build Cena vs. JBL. That’s where we’re going, but it’s going to take some time to get there, which isn’t the worst thing in the world.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 31, 2005
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Attendance: 9,200
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Here are last night’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are HHH and Ric Flair to open things up. Flair talks about how HHH knows he’s the greatest no matter what anyone thinks. Shawn Michaels came around and people started saying that HHH was “arguably” the greatest that ever lived. After last night though, there is no doubt about who the greatest of all time really is. HHH says Orton wasn’t quite destined to be the greatest because HHH is destiny. He could talk about how great he is but everyone knows it already.

That wasn’t all that happened last night though because something special happened. It’s the kind of thing that people are going to talk about decades from now. Therefore, here is Batista, the winner of the Royal Rumble, rocking a suit. HHH brags about Batista winning the Rumble, throwing John Cena out three times just to make the point clear. He’s proud of Batista because this is what they talked about from the beginning.

At first Batista was a guy with muscles in a t-shirt but now he has Armani suits, a Rolex watch, a Mercedes-Benz and women. Greatness gravitates to greatness and he’s a product of HHH after all. At Wrestlemania, it will be HHH’s honor to defend the title against Batista. After a smile, Batista says he’s glad to hear what HHH thinks of him. Now, let’s hear what Batista thinks of HHH.

We cut to a JBL promo from last night with JBL saying Batista can come to Wrestlemania and take a beating from the champ. As good as Batista is, he is not in JBL’s league. HHH doesn’t like what JBL said and tells Foghorn Leghorn that all Batista would have to do to be WWE Champion is come face JBL. However, he is NOT going to Smackdown because they’re having their big match at Wrestlemania. Batista never got to say anything after JBL’s promo. The pieces continue to fall into place.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Simon Dean

Benjamin is defending. Dean hammers away to start as JR talks about him being a sponsor of the show. How you quickly transition from sponsor to title contender isn’t clear. Shelton fights back but Simon gets caught pulling something out of his bag. With the referee taking that away, Dean gets the bag up to block a Stinger Splash for two. Not that it matters as the Dragon Whip retains the title in a hurry.

Post match Simon says the only reason that happened was Shelton uses the Simon System. That earns him an exploder suplex to send him down to the lowest of the lower card for good.

HHH yells at Eric Bischoff about who put up that JBL clip. It turns into a threat, which Bischoff doesn’t like.

Wrestlemania Recall: Butterbean kills Bart Gunn’s career dead and knocks the Brawl For All into the vault for good.

Christy Hemme shoots off a t-shirt gun but here’s Edge to cut her off. Edge doesn’t like Christy playing dumb like this but it can’t be that hard for her. He wants to see what kind of shirts they are so Christy shows him that it’s a Wrestlemania XXI shirt. Edge rants about how he dominated the Royal Rumble by eliminating the most people and coming down to the final three, all after beating Shawn Michaels. Christy is panicking as Edge yells so violence is threatened.

Cue Shawn to make the save but he also wants to talk about Edge being embarrassed. What is embarrassing is saying that Edge beat him last night. Then Kurt Angle threw him out and busted him open, so yeah, Shawn has some pent up frustration. Therefore, he needs to let some of that out tonight in San Jose. Shawn already has a tag match tonight but he’s willing to work twice in one night twice in a row. Edge says no so Shawn superkicks him. That’s one way to shut someone up.

Maven vs. Hurricane

Hurricane shrugs off some kicks to the ribs and takes him down with a shoulder. A headscissors is countered into a side slam (not bad) and Maven stays on the back with a running forearm. Hurricane fights out of a chinlock but misses the Blockbuster. Maven finishes with the yet to be named Backstabber. Not very good, but it’s clear they’re done with Maven anyway.

Maria and Candice find Gene Snitsky in the women’s locker room….and he likes their shoes.

We look at Kane and Snitsky interfering in the Heidenreich vs. Undertaker casket match from last night.

Bischoff demands that Coach find out who played the JBL video. Theodore Long comes in and Bischoff accuses him of playing the tape to steal Batista from Raw. That’s exactly right but he had nothing to do with the tape. Long has already made a lucrative offer to Batista to face either JBL or Big Show. It sounds to him like Batista is Smackdown bound. Holla holla holla.

Randy Orton and Stacy Keibler have a forced flirty conversation about Orton’s tag match. Orton has to do it because this is what he does. From a kayfabe perspective, why is Stacy there? She hasn’t wrestled a regular match since October, she isn’t managing anyone and she just kind of hangs around the show. At least Christy comes out and does some official stuff occasionally.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Jericho/Chris Benoit vs. La Resistance

La Resistance is defending. Jericho elbows Conway in the face to start but it’s too early for the Walls attempt. Benoit comes in for a nice reaction and gets elbowed down, allowing Grenier to come in and stomp away. A Crossface attempt is broken up with a cheap shot and Grenier cranks on Benoit’s neck. That’s broken up and Benoit hits an enziguri, allowing the tag off to Jericho.

Grenier comes in as well and Jericho orders him to “COME ON FRENCHIE!” A bulldog takes Martin down but the Lionsault misses. Everything breaks down and Jericho tries the Walls on Grenier but has to switch to Conway to cut off a belt shot. Benoit and Conway fight to the floor as Jericho gets the Walls but Conway comes back in for the save. That’s enough for the double DQ and the fans are rather annoyed.

Rating: D. The Tag Team Titles are dying a horrible death here as the champs are lame ducks but don’t really have anyone else to drop the titles to. That left Jericho and Benoit fighting at half speed (at most) so they didn’t blow the champs away and that doesn’t help anyone. They need to find someone fresh for the titles soon because this is just sad.

Chris Master is coming. Maybe he can make a new vignette during this long delay.

Here are Muhammad Hassan and Daivari for their usual complaining, though this time Hassan can complain about last night. That is proof of the discrimination so tonight he wants to fight any American.

Muhammad Hassan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter shoves a ranting Daivari down before the bell and gets the cobra clutch in a hurry. A Daivari distraction breaks that up and Slaughter gets sent chest first into the buckle. Hassan fires off some knees to the ribs but Slaughter is back with the right hands. That’s about it though as the Downward Spiral into the camel clutch finishes Slaughter. Sounds like a Slaughter tribute from Hassan. That might be all he has at the moment too, as Hassan is floundering. What do you expect though when you have him beating Lawler, Val Venis, Hurricane and Slaughter?

Jericho and Benoit fire each other up with Jericho saying he wants the best from Benoit.

We get a Wrestlemania XXI promo, featuring Eugene as Forrest Gump. This was edited off of the Royal Rumble on the Network for some reason.

HHH seems worried when Ric Flair comes in. Maybe HHH wants to face Batista at Wrestlemania too much. Long has offered Batista a lot of money so why should HHH hold him back? If Batista won the WWE Title, they would run the entire industry.

Here’s Bischoff to announce that Raw is coming from Japan next week. Therefore, he has three special matches to announce: Benoit vs. Jericho in a submission match, William Regal/Tajiri vs. La Resistance for the Tag Team Titles and HHH vs. Edge for the World Title.

Randy Orton/Shawn Michaels vs. HHH/Ric Flair

Batista is here with Evolution. Orton slaps Flair in the face to start so Flair comes back with chops in the corner. It’s quickly off to Shawn vs. HHH with Flair’s distraction not working very well as Shawn hammers away in the corner. That means an atomic drop but Shawn is fine enough to shove HHH off the top. An elbow (into the “controversial” heart of HHH) connects and everything breaks down with Batista grabbing a chair and beating on the steps with it. That’s enough for an ejection but the Batista sneakily smiles as we go to a break.

Back with Flair and Shawn trading chops in the corner until the Flair Flop gives Shawn two. A cheap shot from HHH puts Shawn back in trouble and the spinebuster gets two. Flair’s choking in the corner gives HHH the same and the abdominal stretch goes on. Shawn gets out and slams Flair off the top though and the hot tag brings Orton in to clean house.

Flair dives at Orton to save HHH and the referee gets bumped. That means an RKO to Flair but Orton seems to be concussed again, just as he was last night. HHH loads up the Pedigree but eats the superkick, only to have Edge come in for a spear….which hits HHH by mistake. Orton slowly crawls over and pins HHH.

Rating: C. There’s something amazing about how HHH is willing to let Orton have a pin after cutting his title run off at the knees a few months ago. Orton shouldn’t have won last night of course, but my goodness this comes off as funny in a way. They even set up next week’s title match a little bit more in the process. Not bad here and at least it didn’t feel like filler.

We look back at Kane and Snitsky flying off the stage earlier this month.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

In a cage and Snitsky gets a jobber entrance. They’re both still taped up from the aforementioned fall and both block a trip into the cage. A double shoulder gives us a double knockdown but it’s Snitsky up first to ram Kane back first into the cage. It’s way too early to get out though so Snitsky punches Kane down again. Cue Trish Stratus in a neck brace as Kane pulls Snitsky off the ropes.

Kane gets halfway out of the door but gets pulled back in as well. This time it’s a gordbuster to plant Snitsky with Kane going down as well. Snitsky goes face first into the cage and there’s the top rope clothesline to drop him again. Trish tries to slam the door on Kane’s head but Kane is smart enough (duh) to see it coming and drags Trish inside.

Snitsky grazes him with a big boot for the save and a two count though, allowing Trish to get out. That’s not enough though as Snitsky goes out to the steps but stops and rips the door off the cage. Kane kicks it into his face though and wedges it into the corner. A good crotching sets up the chokeslam to finish Snitsky, thank goodness.

Rating: D-. Normally I would say “and that has to be it for this feud” but why should I believe that’s the case? They should have been done at New Year’s Revolution if not before and yet here we are. The match was terrible with both guys having chances to win and Trish adding nothing at all. This felt like a bad house show main event and I could go for more from the main event on the Raw after Royal Rumble.

Overall Rating: C-. This is one of those weird periods where everyone knows what is coming to the letter but we have to wait until we actually get there. That being said, aside from the Batista stuff, there wasn’t much to brag about on this show other than the matches mostly not overstaying their welcome. Things will get better when we reach the big moment but until then, it’s not the most thrilling time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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