Survivor Series Count-Up – 2005 (2012 Redo): Oh Snap

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz

The announcers talk about the main event and bragging rights to start things off.

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

Melina gets thrown around by her hair, sending those furry boots flying. Trish headscissors her down and I think they botch a headscissors out of the corner with Trish kicking Melina in the face instead of getting the ankles around her head. Melina uses her basic abilities (meaning stretching to freakish angles to choke and kick a lot) before going to the floor for a cat fight with Mickie.

Rating: C-. This was much better than I was expecting given what level Melina was at here. Trish looked fine (and her wrestling was even good too) but she needed more to work with here. This would lead up to Mickie going totally psycho and evil, setting up an excellent match (other than the ending) at Mania between the two of them.

Dmitri Young, a baseball payer, is here.

Ric Flair vs. HHH

Flair is taken out on a stretcher.

Buy the Bret Hart DVD! No really, this one is awesome.

Trish and Mickie do an online interview.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

The fans are ALL OVER Cena all of a sudden, with a huge Cena Sucks chant. Off to a chinlock with Angle holding the leg back as well. Cena finally comes back with a jawbreaker and a DDT to put both guys down. They slug it out with Cena taking over via some clotheslines. Cena initiates his finishing sequence and is set for the FU, but Angle clotheslines the replacement referee.

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Team Smackdown is coming to the ring and the Smackdown D-list guys cheer them on.

The Raw guys do the same thing.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters, Kane, Big Show,

Batista, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio, Bobby Lashley, John Bradshaw Layfield

Off to Masters who gets his eyes raked by Orton but the power game of Masters takes over. Lashley comes in to a reaction from the fans and they do the two power guys collide with each other. Bobby takes over with a slam but Masters clotheslines him down. Masters tries the Masterlock but Bobby easily blocks it. Carlito is pulled in and thrown around as well, culminating with a powerslam for two.

Off to Shawn to see what he can do with this monster, but Lashley slams him off the top. A suplex puts Shawn down so Carlito comes in sans tag and takes the Dominator. Shawn is about to take one as well, but Kane breaks it up and chokeslams Lashley to give Shawn the pin. Rey comes in next and Kane hits him in the back as well to give Shawn another advantage. Masters drops some elbows on Rey to keep him on the mat which is the right move.

Ratings Comparison

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

Redo: B-

Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Original: B

Redo: C-

HHH vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

Redo: B+

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B+

Redo: C

Theodore Long vs. Eric Bischoff

Redo: S (For Six Minutes)

Team Smackdown vs. Team Raw

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/14/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2005-a-forgotten-almost-classic/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2005 (Original): When This Worked

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s all about brand supremacy here as the main event and the only match with a good build this year is Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown. What does that actually gain us? Absolutely nothing, but it’s the best we can come up with so there we are. Continuing that theme we also have Teddy Long vs. Eric Bischoff. Oh that’s going to be awful isn’t it. In some real wrestling we have in the Raw main event John Cena vs. Kurt Angle. Now we’re getting somewhere.

This was a weird time for the company as there’s just not a lot going on right now and they’re just kind of going through the motions. Cena and Batista are the top dogs on their respective shows but there’s just nothing that’s a spark for the company right now which is a trend that would continue for a few more years after this.

TNA is starting to get its footing but it’s far from a major deal in case you three TNA fans were wondering. That was random I know but this opening paragraph was way too short.

Don’t you just hate it when you run out of things to say and you just have to ramble on and on about absolutely nothing at all when it’s clear that the person talking is some moron that has nothing else to say but beating around the bush and trying to fill up space in a page because he’s not intelligent enough to have anything else to say about something he’s reviewing on a website like WrestleZone which should be about wrestling but isn’t always? Yeah I hate that too. Let’s do this.

There is one major thing that happened recently as Eddie Guerrero passed away two weeks before this show. I’ve always thought he was both overrated and gets far to much hype, but he was certainly a great talent and could wrestle with anyone and it was sad to lose him, especially when he was allegedly going to win the world title again before this show.

Again, the video is just painfully generic. It’s just a voiceover guy talking about survival and clips of the feuds. The only highlight is a single shot of taker who was returning tonight. Once we’re in the arena we find that it’s Styles on commentary which is a nice change of pace. Not saying he’s better or worse than Ross, but when you do so many of these in a row it’s nice to hear a different voice.

This was a time when for whatever reason we had three announcers for Raw which is of course overkill. Lawler either slips up or makes a sex joke by saying return your flight attendants to their upright positions. No one laughed but they didn’t react either so they either didn’t get it or didn’t notice.

They talk about how Raw will beat Smackdown which is fine. We go to the Spanish guys and then over to Cole and Tazz. For some reason this made me laugh. It was like the Spanish guys were just randomly thrown in there with no rhyme or reason. Stuff like that amuses me.

Chris Benoit vs. Booker T

This is match 1 in a best of 7 series for the US Title which was vacant due to a double pin between these two. The series wound up being Benoit vs. Orton because Booker got hurt so once Orton won the last match Booker got the title because that makes perfect sense right? These two traded the title back and forth like four times in about eight months which was just kind of stupid but whatever.

The whole idea of a series is stupid as well for one simple reason: why should we care about the first few matches? These don’t mean anything and nothing is going to be decided here, so why should we watch? Sharmell gets her own entrance and she is just painful to listen to. Something feels different about this show from last year which is a good thing. It feels bigger I guess you could say.

We start with a weird looking spot where Booker tries for a slam but can’t do it and it turns into a half suplex half powerslam. That was just odd. They mention that the second match will be on Tuesday at the Smackdown Special. That show was a disgrace for two reasons. First of all it was just flat out awful from a wrestling standpoint.

Second, there was a big spot where Eddie’s lowrider was blown with I think Big Show in it. This was sixteen days after Eddie died. Seriously? If you just have to use that for an angle, wait awhile would you?

Booker does some sweet looking stuff to get out of a test of strength. His in ring stuff really is overlooked. Booker gets an abdominal stretch and Benoit starts shaking his hips for some reason which looks very odd indeed. Benoit is getting dominated for the most part here, which is fine because he’s great at selling.

I’ll never get the point in announcers mentioning necks being surgically repaired. Wouldn’t that imply that they’re stronger than before? Are we really supposed to believe that a wrestler’s neck is still that weak even a year or so after they came back from the injury? Benoit gets a short comeback with one of those awesome Germans but Booker takes him down with a kick that was sweet looking. This has been a solid match.

Booker gets caught in an insane looking leg drag but avoids the Sharpshooter. After the triple Germans, Benoit goes for the headbutt but Booker stops him on the top. In a sequence that is very short but that I like, Benoit knocks him back down and goes for the headbutt anyway. See, while it seems pointless, it adds a bit more action to the match and got the fans into it just a tiny bit more. That’s what makes a match even better: adding that little extra bit.

Benoit could have just come off with the heabutt and missed to set up the finish, but instead we get an extra ten to fifteen seconds of action which got the crowd going a bit more. The more you can draw the fans in, the better the match is going to seem. If a match is weak (this one isn’t) that can be covered up by the crowd being into it. If a match is good (like this one) the crowd being into it means that the thing is a success on both levels.

Anyway, Benoit misses the headbutt and Booker gets a roll up with his feet on the bottom rope for the pin. Now wait a minute. How would the bottom rope help you? Isn’t the point of using the ropes to add more leverage to the pin by making you have to shove up a slope? With the bottom rope it’s just balanced out evenly.

Why am I wasting my time thinking about this? That ending was kind of weak but whatever. To further the stupidity, Sharmell grabs his feet and pulls down. Wouldn’t that pull Booker away from Benoit?

Rating: B. This was very solid. It’s not great but it’s very good. It was intense throughout other than the submission holds in the middle and it had time to develop. I’m not wild on the ending, but other than that I had no problems here. These two can work very well together when given the time as they were here, so who am I to complain? This was good but can someone shoot Sharmell for me please?

Bischoff is in the back warming up and Vince walks up. He wishes him luck and Bischoff says tonight he’s going to screw Cena, thereby making it about as obvious as possible that Cena will retain. Why do they insist on making so many Montreal references? They did it in WCW and the company died because they couldn’t let it go. Even after the mess that was Starrcade 97 they did it over and over again and it just never worked at all.

Also, they tried so hard to make Cena vs. Bischoff the next Austin vs. McMahon and it just failed. Actually failed isn’t the right word. It just didn’t live up to what it was supposed to be, which is fine because they’re inferior talents to what came before them. Also, since it had been done already there was no real reason to think this would be better which aren’t Cena and Bischoff’s faults at all. Anyway, Cena walks up and makes a gay joke to get Bischoff to leave.

Vince and Cena talk for a bit which when you think about it isn’t a pairing you see together that often. Vince actually says what’s up my nigger to Cena. WOW. Even Cena looks taken aback by this as do Booker and Sharmell. That was just out there to say the least.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Melina is part of MNM here along with Mercury and Nitro (now known as John Morrison). They’re the Smackdown tag champions and did the thing where they hung the belts from their belts so they hung between their legs. That’s original at least. This is inter promotional so Tazz and Styles are the commentators. ECW would be back in June with these two being the commentators.

Despite the fact that Melina looks better with all black hair instead of the blonde she has going here, she looks good in her signature entrance. Melina had MNM kidnap Trish on Raw so she could ask for a title shot because that makes perfect sense. Melina more or less is wrestling in a tiny bikini so this match has gone up in ratings for me. Mickie James, the newcomer, is with Trish.

Very soon she would go into the sexy crazy stalker mode with Trish, leading to her heel turn which was awesome. Trish starts with a spear and some punches that land squarely on the mat. Melina hits the floor but Trish hits a cross body from the top to the floor to take out all three heels. When did Lita get bigger and dye her hair red? Melina is a complete rookie here. Wow has she really been around for four years?

They botch a spot but if nothing else they make it work. It was supposed to be a headscissors but it turned into a kick to the face. It still worked though. Joey says Trish wins on paper. Tazz wants to see the paper. That’s actually kind of funny. Melina and Mickie fight on the floor while MNM goes for the Snapshot which was an elevated DDT on Trish. They get ejected for it though so that sucks. The belts are just making me laugh. This is intense if nothing else.

DANG Melina can hit the high notes. This is a quite good match actually. Melina actually counters Stratusfaction twice which isn’t bad. Mickie interferes to help Trish, leading to a kick and a top rope bulldog that missed but again they improvise slightly with Trish grabbing Melina’s hair on the way down.

It looked bad but it could have been worse, but it ends the match. On the replay they do a great job of covering the botch at the end by showing it from the back where you can’t tell how bad it was. That’s well done.

Rating: B. This was quite good. They beat the heck out of each other and on the two noticeable botches they improvised, especially the earlier one. Melina was clearly talented and not just another pretty face that thought she would try wrestling for a paycheck. Trish was her usual solid self here, so I have few complaints.

It was one of the better Diva matches that I can remember so that’s a perk. The looks didn’t hurt things either. This is what the Divas need to shoot for: hot women but good wrestling to back it up. I’d watch more of this.

Buy this PPV of the DVD of Jake Roberts.

We recap HHH vs. Flair which was a good feud I thought. More or less HHH decided that Flair was too far gone to mean anything anymore so he beat him up. Flair wound up winning the Intercontinental Title of all things which I actually liked as it made the belt seem prestigious. They had a cage match at Taboo Tuesday for the belt and Flair won clean in a great old school style match. That leads us to here which is last man standing.

Ric Flair vs. HHH

Like I said Flair is IC champion here but it’s non title. Trips jumps him in the aisle to start us off. Flair is beaten on pretty badly at first since his robs is still on. He comes back though as the old man powers will never die. They haven’t actually been in the ring at this point. Scratch that they have but it was for about twenty seconds. I’ll give Flair this: he can sell as well as anyone in history even at this age.

That’s why he was so great for so long: he could tell a story as well as anyone in the world. HHH works over his back which is fine. He needs to lose the mustache though. It just flat out doesn’t work on him. We go hardcore as HHH pulls out a screwdriver. Dang Flair is bleeding badly. Granted I think that happens is someone stares at him for more than four seconds. Has anyone been in as many last man standing matches as HHH?

He’s been in a ton of them over the years with at least three that I can remember against Orton alone. I’ve always loved that red blonde hair on Flair. They finally mention that it’s HHH’s lifelong goal to break Flair’s record, which depending on what you look at should be around 22 or 23. If TNA has their way Angle will pass that in about a week. Edge is likely going to get close to it as well, but I’d take almost any of Flair’s runs over any two or three of Edge’s combined.

They’re out on the floor again with Flair finally taking some control. I have a feeling we’re in for a long one here, which should be fine. Coach offers commentary simply saying what number the referee is up to. Good to see why he’s paid the big money. HHH gets on the mic because three commentators in one match just aren’t enough. He yells at Flair to get up and in the next breath says to stay down if he knows what’s good for him.

No wonder Flair never would retire. He was too confused from hanging out with HHH all those years. Flair grabs the ball of HHH for no apparent reason. Is he competing with Stephanie or something now? HHH gets control back because I guess he likes being the dominant one.

I’ll be pausing for a few seconds here to get the image of a submissive Stephanie out of my mind. Ok I think I’m good now. We hit the tables and HHH gets countered through the table as he always is. Both guys are more or less dead at this point. The table practically exploded too and it looked great. Both guys are up though and we keep going.

We’re back in the ring for likely the longest stretch of the match which is a nice change of pace. For some reason we have to get another replay of HHH going through the table. We get it already people. A chair comes into play and both men are down, or at least that’s what Styles says. Call me cracy, but Flair looks up to me. Flair continues making sense by going for the legs. He pulls the balls of HHH into the post as he seems slightly obsessed with them.

Lawler mentions that he hopes HHH isn’t planning on going out tonight. I certainly wouldn’t. If I had a wife like Stephanie I wouldn’t be going to work either so there we are. Flair bites HHH for the second time in the match, this time on the leg. Style infers that the biting could mess up the quad again. Oh come on now. Flair goes to town on the legs in a very slow old school style plus weapons. That’s not a bad idea actually.

The figure four makes HHH tap but it means nothing here. I love how he’ll give up in a match where it means nothing, but that’s a different story. They’re both back up now with HHH knocking Flair back down. HHH brings the steps in and for some reason that only Flair knows, he runs right at HHH and rams his head into the steps. That’s just stupid. This time HHH runs and Flair hits a drop toe hold to slam HHH into the steps. This is like a cartoon or something.

I know there’s not a lot being said here but a lot of this is either one or both guys laying there for a ten count which somehow takes about 30 seconds each. HHH gets a Pedigree to a big pop which means either the people are tired of this match or they like HHH. My guess is the former, because HHH is such a masterful heel that no one can hate him. I mean he’s the best of all time at everything right?

Flair of course gets up and takes another Pedigree but of course he gets up, this time throwing out a double bird to HHH. This just gets him beaten up more so he’s obviously the face. You very rarely see a heel being defiant and getting his beating because of it. The third Pedigree connects as this is complete overkill.

We get it: Flair is tough. There’s no need to kill the credibility of the Pedigree to prove this. A sledgehammer shot to I think the shoulder or something like that ends this. The fans are actually into this which is a good sign. I guess the reactions earlier on were for greatness, even though this wasn’t that great. It was good, but not great.

Rating: B-. This was very old school in nature so if you don’t like slower paced stuff, you’ll hate this. Both guys bring in a lot of psychology here which is exactly what they were supposed to do. The leg stuff worked quite well despite HHH not selling them at all at the end of the match. This was good at times but there were parts that just kind of sucked too.

The three Pedigrees were WAY too much and the fact that it took nearly half an hour to get rid of Flair is a bit of a stretch despite how great Flair is. Some people would love this while others will hate it, which to me is a good thing. It means that it’s not just a run of the mill match but rather something that gets an opinion out of people, which to me is always good.

After about three minutes of replays we see Flair being stretchered out of the arena.

Buy the Bret Hart DVD, which was quite good actually.

Team Smackdown says they have to make up for Batista’s injury while Bradshaw sounds stupid. This was a waste of three minutes of my life.

Edge and Lita come out to say that the Cutting Edge will be debuting soon. He was hurt at the moment so this was their way to keep him on camera which really is a great idea. Edge goes after Dmitri Young who is a hometown baseball guy in the front row. He and Lita insult Young for about five minutes with nothing of note to say about it. Yep, that was a waste of time.

We recap Kurt vs. Cena which was something like this: Angle wants a title show and has his own referee that’s going to cheat to make him win. That’s all you’ve got to know here.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

This both has the big match feeling and doesn’t have it. I’m leaning towards no because of the spinner belt and Daivari as the referee. Angle looks far better in the darker colored singlet. The same can be said of Cena if you change the word singlet for long shorts. Angle naturally immediately starts on the leg as we have LOUD dueling chants. They’re out of sync though so it takes a trained ear to get what’s being said.

It’s nice hearing Styles speaking with an interest in the product. Ross and Lawler rarely sounded interested in matches and while Styles isn’t as great as he’s built up to be by any means, he’s awesome at times. Dang we’ve been going for about three minutes and those chants literally haven’t stopped. They’re quieting a bit but by no means are they stopping. If this was in front of a Wrestlemania sized crowd with these kinds of fans….good night that would be amazing.

These two could main event a Mania as well, and given Angle it’s not completely out of the question to have that happen. This is one of the hottest crowds I’ve ever seen. Cena gets a cover and Daivari just stands there and we have a story. Ankle lock is hooked, finally called the Angle Lock like it should have been many times before, and the referee is all over it. He finally gets the ropes and of course the hold isn’t broken.

He gets out himself and slaps the referee (I’ll be referring to him as that because Daivari requires that I think as I type) and Angle makes the diving save to stop the disqualification. Oh for those fans that might be new, Daivari is now known as Sheik Abdul Bashir in TNA. The referee gets bumped by Cena and we go to the floor. Angle pops his hips on a sweet belly to belly overhead suplex to Cena. That was always an awesome move.

A real referee comes down and we now have a far more normal match. They go to the mat for awhile and it occurs to me that Angle can get away with far more boring moves on the mat such as just basic grapples because of his background. When he uses something like a front facelock I buy it a lot more because he’s an Olympian. That just goes to show you what a real background can do for someone. Cena can do a great job of fighting back.

There’s just something about him that makes you want to watch him which is something that very few people can accomplish. There go those chants again. Cena starts the comeback as I’m starting to wonder where Daivari is. He didn’t get hit by anything huge. Cena just knocked Angle into him and he’s been down at least five minutes. Angle apparently needs glasses because he can’t see Cena. Man maybe he really does as he clotheslines the heck out of the referee and low blows Cena.

A third referee comes out and for some reason has NO problem with Angle laying out his colleague. Now wait a minute. As they mentioned earlier, it’s standard operating procedure for a new referee to run out in case the regular one gets knocked out. That means that someone, and I’d assume the referee that ran down, has to be watching the match in the back right? If not how would he know that he was needed in the ring? If that’s the case, why couldn’t he disqualify Angle?

This is what overbooking a match does to it: it brings up a lot of loopholes that aren’t needed. After a few minutes of good stuff, Angle misses a picture perfect moonsault. I mean that was lucha libre quality. Angle gets out of the FU and then hits the third referee and rolls Daivari, who is still out cold, back in.

A fourth referee, this one from Smackdown, comes out as Cena DDTs Daivari for no apparent reason as he was already out cold. With four people laying in the ring (Cena and three referees), Cena plays possum and Angle walks into the FU for the pin. I want more of this!

Rating: B+. This is a great example of a situation where the extra booking was 100% not needed. I was completely buying into this match which is something that very rarely happens to me. There’s a natural connection here that is very clear and it worked incredibly well. I don’t get why there needed to be the gimmick with the referees and things like that. A lot of the times less is more and this is certainly one of those times. I’d love to see these guys go at it even more.

Watch this really bad show that we’re calling a special!

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Eric is of course dressed in his karate stuff, because anyone that follows tournament karate knows that Eric Bischoff is a great fighter. I will never get over Schiavone saying that at Starrcade 97. Teddy is with Palmer Cannon, who was a very short term character that was a representative of the network. He served absolutely zero purpose and I’ve never been sure what the point of having him was.

Granted to be fair I missed about a year and a half of Smackdown due to not having the station and just not being interested in it. I would always catch the spoilers though so I at least knew what was going on. The words to describe how I feel going into this match haven’t been invented yet. No good can come from this at all. It’s like the book in Hocus Pocus. To top it off, Cole and Coach are your commentators. I just had to stop the video for the sake of laughter.

Coach: “Eric Bischoff is a mixed martial artist.” I don’t care or know if that’s true or not but it’s the funniest image I can think of. Can you imagine him against Brock or GSP? Cole starts the Did You Know tradition with a stat that I’m not going to remember in a few seconds. Yep it’s gone. The bell rang 45 seconds ago. In that time they’ve avoided contact with each other, Teddy has posed on the ropes and then he danced a bit. This is riveting stuff!

Cole calls Bischoff Mr. Miyagi. The one liners for this match are going to take up a full page. After about a minute and a half I think we made contact but I’m not sure. Teddy dances more than Shawn Michaels imitating Shane. Cannon gets on the apron for no apparent reason and imitates the things that Long has been doing as Bischoff chokes Long with his belt. Why am I watching this? Oh there’s two referees, one from Raw one from Smackdown because this needs more people.

We have our second boring chant as we’re still doing the choking thing. Bischoff changes the pace a bit by using the world’s worst sleeper. Cannon gets up again and Long uses the distraction of both referees (since a guy named Palmer Cannon is obviously a major threat) to take his shoe off and hit Eric with it to break up the “hold”. Wouldn’t the shoe be legal? It’s not a foreign object unless it was made in Japan or something like that so I don’t get it.

Eric takes over again with a Kung Fu YEAH and a Karate Chop! Give me a break I have to make jokes like those to keep myself awake during this mess. We’re on boring chant number four and the Boogeyman’s music hits. He had only been around for a few weeks at this point and nothing was known about him.

The referees go up the ramp to stop him and naturally he’s behind Eric. I love how a guy like Boogeyman used a freaking pumphandle slam. Papa Shango used a shoulderbreak. I’m not sure which is dumber. Teddy gets the pin with ease and dances a bit more. He really is a tiny man. Ok so he dances a lot.

Rating: O, as in oh I can’t think about this anymore. Give me anything else please!

Armageddon proimo.

Team Smackdown is coming to the ring as the Smackdown guys cheer them on. The Raw guys do the same thing. The backstory here is simple. There was a special called WWE Homecoming where there was a Smackdown match scheduled but Bischoff canceled it because it wasn’t up to his standards. The feud sprang from there. Other than that, the only thing you need to know is that Eddie has just passed away and Orton is his replacement and Batista was injured by Show and Kane.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters, Kane, Big Show
Smackdown: Batista, Rey Mysterio, Lashley, Randy Orton, JBL

All ten guys get their own entrances because we need to kill about ten minutes or so. To further the stupidity of this we’re having all five commentators here. HBK and Orton start us off. On both shows everyone has been attacking everyone so I’ll be withholding the so and so attacked so and so on so and so show. Even Styles and Tazz are arguing. They point out that Orton has been the sole survivor in the previous two Survivor Series.

Again, this is what announcers are supposed to do. Rey just looks out of place on the apron with all of these big guys. Orton and HBK do nothing but punch/chop each other for a few minutes as Tazz and the rest of the announcers have their stupid fights. For some reason Chris Masters is in the main event here in something that I just don’t get. Lashley comes in and gets a great pop. Lashley is about as green as possible here with next to zero experience.

He has the amateur background to fall back on though along with insane power so he can use both of those to avoid any actual wrestling. Is there a reason why amateur guys use a ton of suplexes? Angle, Lesnar and the Steiners were all suplex machines as well as all American wrestlers. Why is that? They all use belly to belly overhead suplexes. I’ve never gotten that. Is that supposed to be something that’s used in amateur wrestling, because I’ve never seen that done in the Olympics.

After he dominates Carlito (he hit him with the Dominator so he literally did), he goes for it on Shawn but Kane grabs him from the apron and hits a chokeslam to allow HBK to pin him. I guess that’s a smart move as it keeps Lashley from looking weak because cheating beat him. That’s about as good as you could have done there I suppose. Rey comes in after Lashley as HBK is still in there.

Kane comes in for Raw and Rey of course dominates him because Kane can’t look good in a big match ever. Kane and Show are Raw tag champions at the time too which I forgot to mention. Kane just about kills Rey with a boot. That was awesome looking. Tazz is just ripping into Coach on commentary.

It’s funny but it’s distracting as all five guys are fighting and not a thing is being said about the match. I’ve always found that to be incredibly disrespectful. It shouldn’t be about the announcers but about the wrestlers, period.

Batista comes in and after more double teaming he takes out Kane with a spinebuster. He gets up and walks into a Big Show chokeslam which doesn’t take him out. The double one from Kane and Big Show does though so we’re down to 4-3. JBL comes in next and in a flat out SCARY show of strength, Big Show catches him coming off the top rope. That’s ridiculous.

Soon thereafter, the whole Smackdown team attacks Show, beginning with a Clothesline From JBL, a 619, an RKO (Massive pop for that), a second Clothesline From JBL and all of that doesn’t keep him down, but Rey jumps on him and that’s enough for a 3. This is why I hate Rey. He’s one of my all time favorites but at times he makes me want to rip my hair out. Why should that pin Big Show when he was almost up from all of those finishers?

That just doesn’t make any sense. JBL destroys his future employee on the floor while we try to figure out who Rey is supposed to be fighting and it’s Masters. Carlito comes in and slows down everything with a chinlock that goes on far too long. HBK is still down on the floor from the fall away slam that JBL hit him with. Rey finally gets up and makes a blind tag to JBL. With Rey distracting him, Bradshaw hits one of the best Clotheslines From JBL I’ve ever seen.

He half kills Carlito and gets the easy pin. He proceeds to beat the holy tar out of Masters, thus continuing to prove his worth. It’s Rey in now as HBK is still down meaning that the hopes of Raw rest on the shoulders of Chris Masters. I don’t even need to make fun of that one. Rey Drops the Dime on him and makes it 3-1. Styles has barely talked the whole match.

Shawn is thrown back in and Rey hits the 619. He goes for something that wasn’t clear but takes a less great looking version of the ending Shawn and Shelton did to take him out. Here comes JBL and there goes JBL with another kick. Bradshaw was in there less than ten seconds. We’re down to Orton and Michaels. We hit the floor but Shawn launches himself over the ropes as we’re doing the same thing we did back in 2003 which had far better drama and emotion to it but whatever.

The fans chant WE WANT TAKER who had been promised for the show and we have less than ten minutes to go. Shawn initiates his ending sequence to a rather weak pop if that’s what you want to call it. The elbow hits but gets two. JBL is still here and swings at Shawn with a chair. Michaels kicks it in him face but turns around to set up the RKO for the pin. The Smackdown locker room hits the ring and have Orton on their collective shoulders and there’s the inevitable gong.

This was the fall after Orton had feuded with Taker. It’s the expensive Taker return, complete with druids and a casket. A HUGE lightning bolt hits the casket which has been set up and it’s lit on fire. Taker eventually kicks it open as this is seeing vaguely familiar.

Cole then points out that Orton had Taker in a coffin and lit it on fire, which is the same story that was done seven years prior with Kane. I remember that angle and the first was light years better. Taker come to the ring and beats up the Smackdown jobbers before staring down Orton to end the show. They would have a Hell in a Cell match at Armageddon to end their feud.

Rating: B. This was good enough, but Masters and Carlito being there just didn’t work for me. Lashley was a rookie and the ending was a rip off of a far better one a few years earlier. Shawn was the only one on his team worth having so putting him in the end was the best idea. This show lost a lot with Eddie not being there and the week of buildup that they lost but that was an issue for the whole show.

The match was good, but the ending leaves a bit to be desired. Smackdown won, but so what? It means nothing really, and that’s where this match falls apart for me. The wrestling is good and it feels like a big match when you’re watching it, but at the end you realize that nothing happened at all.

Overall Rating: B. This was actually a really good show. When I’m giving the overall grade I go back and look at the card and the grades I gave them but that’s not the main thing I go on. This is a great example of why that’s the case. The matches individually other than the GM match were all very good with nothing at all not above watchable. However, there’s just something about this show that I can’t put my finger on. Something keeps this show from being great.

Maybe it’s the lack of build which wasn’t anything they could help due to Eddie, but it still takes away from the show. The wrestling here is great but the emotion isn’t there. Maybe their thoughts were on Eddie or something like that, but there’s just something missing from this show and it keeps it from being excellent. Certainly recommended, but that X factor isn’t there.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – 2005 (2020 Redo): A Real Dream Match

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington DC.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

It’s a big show here with a card that doesn’t quite live up to the hype. We have a huge main event between Hulk Hogan and Shawn Michaels, but after that it’s kind of a downgrade with Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero with a kid (symbolically) above the ring. The World Title matches see John Cena defending against Chris Jericho and JBL challenging Batista in a No Holds Barred match. Maybe they can make it work though so let’s get to it.

Lilian Garcia sings the Star Spangled Banner.

The opening video looks at the big matches, which works a bit better. Granted that might be because it’s set to Remedy by Seether and I always liked that song. Shawn vs. Hogan gets its own section of the video, because nothing on this show comes close to it (fair enough).

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan is defending and it’s a German suplex into the Crossface to make Benoit champion in 25 seconds. Now THAT is how you wake a crowd up while giving Jordan exactly what he deserved in Honky Tonk Man style.

Vickie Guerrero comes in to see Eddie and asks him to calm down. This isn’t about Dominic because it’s all about Eddie not being able to beat Rey. Eddie wants someone to carry on the Guerrero legacy and Vickie talks about him having a heart of gold. But there’s also an evil inside of him that won’t leave Rey alone. Eddie: “So now you don’t think I can beat Rey?” Eddie throws her out and reassures himself that he’ll win.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. Edge. Lita left Matt for Edge while Matt was hurt and then he was released. Matt invaded Raw a few times to get at Edge but then he was rehired and it was just Matt Hardy again. Tonight is the big fight.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

Hardy runs to the ring and starts the fight on the floor as it feels like Matt wants to kill him. They get inside with Matt hammering away and a loud HARDY chant. Matt grabs a rear naked choke but Edge gets to the ropes and then back outside. Back in and Edge hits a headbutt to put Matt on the ropes as the fans are all over Lita.

A spear through the ropes puts them back on the floor but Matt hammers away with right hands to the head. More right hands in the corner have Edge in trouble so he drops Matt face first onto the post to knock him silly. Even Lita looks concerned as Matt is busted open. Matt can barely stand so Edge kicks him in the head….and the referee stops it.

Rating: D+. So yeah Matt comes back, gets in a few shots, and then gets busted open for a referee stoppage in five minutes. The first minute or so felt like a war but then it was little more than a hard hitting match with one big spot. This is the kind of thing that needed to go about eighteen minutes with both of them bleeding, but that would suggest that Matt was something important, rather than just a way to get Edge over. I can go with that as Matt is Matt and Edge has been a near main eventer for a long time now, but this was a major disappointment after the setup.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Eddie can’t beat Rey and has been driven completely crazy over jealousy and his failures. Therefore, Eddie is going to try something else so he brought up that Rey’s son Dominic was really Eddie’s biological son. Eddie wanted Dominic, but a social worker said they had to settle this, so a ladder match was made instead.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

Tony Chimel: “The following contest is a ladder match for the custody of Dominic!” And that’s your most ridiculous ring introduction of all time. Dominic and the social worker are in the front row so Eddie goes over to them for a rather evil smile. Rey comes out and hugs Dominic so Eddie goes over and shakes the social worker’s hand. We’re ready to go and Eddie talks a lot of trash as they stare each other down to start.

Eddie gets in a cheap shot to knock Rey into the corner but Rey monkey flips him out to the floor. A whip sends Rey into the ladder though and he has to springboard in with a dropkick to knock Eddie off. Eddie goes to get another ladder so Rey dropkicks that one into his face, followed by a springboard seated senton to the floor. Back in and Eddie saves Rey’s climb with a sunset bomb but he can’t hold on, making it look rather messy. Eh to be fair that’s a pretty tricky spot.

Eddie hits him in the ribs and face with the ladder before sandwiching Rey between some ladders. The fans know what’s coming and are rather pleased with the slingshot hilo onto a ladder onto Rey onto another ladder. Rey gets up and uses a ladder to bridge his way up top to cut Eddie off, including a backdrop onto the bridged ladder. The crash bangs up Rey’s knee so he climbs rather slowly, allowing Eddie to dropkick the ladder out and hurt the knee even more.

Eddie reverse powerbombs him ribs first into the ladder on the top rope and there’s that evil smile again. That’s enough for another climb but Dominic comes in to shake the ladder. That just annoys Eddie so he yells at Dominic and demands a hug. Eddie: “I’m your new daddy now!” Eddie goes to hit him but Rey makes the save as Dominic is back with the social worker who let him jump the barricade and interfere in a violent match.

Rey sends him into a ladder and then 619s said ladder into Eddie’s face, only to hurt the knee again. The knee is ok enough to Drop The Dime onto a ladder onto Eddie and then load up the ladder again. Eddie climbs up the same side for an electric chair but Rey shows him how to do the sunset bomb for the huge crash. Rey goes up again and grabs the case but Eddie kicks the ladder out and pulls Rey down into a big spinebuster.

With Rey pinned under the ladder, Eddie goes up but stops to talk a lot of trash. He can’t unhook the thing anyway, allowing Rey to wiggle free and kick the ladder over. Apparently Vickie was supposed to run in there and missed the cue, explaining why Eddie couldn’t understand how a hook worked. Eddie is back up with Three Amigos, including the third onto the ladder. That means another climb but this time Vickie comes out for the save as she shoves the ladder over. Vickie pulls Eddie back so Rey can climb p and win.

Rating: B. It’s rather good with some big crashes, but the Vickie/Dominic stuff was too much and brought the match down. Rey vs. Eddie is something you can watch all day, especially if Eddie is all evil, but they could have come up with something better than a ladder match for custody papers. It was too far and became dumb rather than dramatic, which defeats a lot of the purpose.

Post match Vickie is relieved and Rey hits Eddie with a briefcase for a bonus.

Chris Jericho doesn’t like John Cena’s theme music and promises to make him as forgettable as the New Kids On The Block. He beat the Rock and Steve Austin on the same night and Cena isn’t on their level.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

For Eugene’s (Or Angle’s?) Gold Medal with no time limit and Christy Hemme is here with Eugene. Angle goes off on him to start and stomps Eugene down into the corner. Eugene comes back with a Faarooq spinebuster but Angle breaks up the People’s Elbow attempt with a hard clothesline. The fans are very pleased with this as they don’t seem all that into Eugene here.

Angle rolls the German suplexes for two and the fans are happy again. Eugene gets sent into the buckle a few times so the comeback is on, including a Rock Bottom for two. The Stunner gets the same and Eugene takes down the non-existent straps. Angle reverses the ankle lock by rolling him into the corner though and it’s the Angle Slam into the ankle lock for the win.

Rating: D. This could have been on Raw as Eugene was completely overwhelmed. The charm is long past gone now and it’s just Eugene doing Austin and Rock moves with almost nothing in between. It was just a squash anyway as Eugene is treated like the glorified jobber that he is. Angle needs to move on to something else and Eugene needs to become something else entirely.

Post match Angle stands on a chair so he can be awarded the medal again.

The Divas, in swimsuits, wash a limo with the Presidential seal on the door. The window goes down to reveal Vince McMahon. Vince: “Hey, why not?” There’s a McMahon For President bumper sticker on the limo for a bonus.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Rematch from Wrestlemania because Orton isn’t happy with his loss. It’s weird to see Undertaker come out first. Orton bails to the floor to start so Undertaker takes a second before shoving him down. A slap gets in Orton’s head a bit but he’s back up to dodge some right hands. Undertaker grabs a headlock (that’s a rare one) but Orton is right back with a hiptoss into a clothesline. That just earns him a big boot to the face and Orton is stunned in a hurry.

Undertaker goes technical with a keylock into Old School but Orton somehow understands what it means when Undertaker stands on the top while holding an arm. Old School is broken up with an armdrag back down but Undertaker LAUNCHES him into the corner to hammer away. The big boot and jumping clothesline give Undertaker two but the big boot in the corner only hits….well corner really and Orton grabs a DDT for his own two with Undertaker putting a foot across the rope.

Flashing back to his Evolution days, Orton cannonballs down onto the leg and then wraps it around the post. The leglock goes on so Undertaker punches his way to freedom, only to earn a knee drop to the ribs. Undertaker limps into the powerslam for two and it’s time to go to Texas with a spinning toehold.

That’s broken up as well and Undertaker starts kicking at Orton’s knee, earning a one off BORING chant. That doesn’t last long either as Orton is right back to the knee as the slow pace continues. Undertaker kicks him out to the floor for a ram into the steps and the apron legdrop as this isn’t exactly hitting a high gear. Old School connects back inside and it’s the Downward Spiral to Orton, who is right back with a dropkick for the double knockdown.

The RKO is blocked so they fight over a Tombstone until Orton gets two off the backbreaker. Orton goes up but Undertaker rolls through the high crossbody and grabs him by the throat. The chokeslam connects but a “fan” comes in. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. It was a struggle to get this high as there was no sense of urgency or any time until the end where either of them seemed close to going to a finish. At least the Wrestlemania match had an awesome near fall of the RKO but this was a bunch of leg work until they got to the finish. It could have worked if they had gone to a better ending but this never got into a higher gear.

And it’s Cowboy Bob Orton. You can book the rubber match already.

Some members of the Republican National Committee are here.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. John Cena. They’ve been having issues since Cena made his Raw debut on the Highlight Reel. Then they got in an argument over who was the bigger rock star, which turned into Cena’s Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff’s Vince McMahon with Jericho and Carlito as the chief lackeys. The former story was better but why do that when you can do the same thing you’ve done so many times before?

Bischoff wishes Jericho’s luck.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Cena is defending. They go nose to nose to start and a lockup doesn’t go anywhere. Jericho’s headlock is just as ineffective but he grabs a suplex to take over. There’s the spinwheel kick to drop Cena again but the springboard crossbody only lands on the floor. Back in and Cena hammers away, only to charge into a dropkick in the corner. A suplex gives Jericho two and a basement dropkick to the headsets up the chinlock.

They go outside with Jericho choking away with a cord but Cena is back with right hands. This isn’t exactly blowing the roof off the place so far. The big flying shoulder misses though and Jericho hits the running bulldog. Jericho has to bail out of the Lionsault so he tries the Walls, which is kicked out to the floor in a hurry. Cena drops the middle rope Fameasser over the ropes for two on the way back in but the FU is countered into a DDT for two. It’s time to start in on the back with a backbreaker and some elbows as the fans are loudly split.

The running crotch attack to the back only hits ropes though and they’re both down again. Cena is back up with that hard clothesline into the ProtoBomb. The Shuffle is countered into the Walls in the middle though, sending Cena on the long crawl to the ropes. Jericho pulls him back in but Cena makes the rope on the second attempt to a rather loud reaction. Cena’s back is good enough to try a super AA but Jericho slips out and grabs another suplex for another two. An argument with the referee lets Cena grab the FU to retain.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but they drew the crowd into it and it turned into a heck of a match by the end. Cena is showing some signs of brilliance in these big matches and Jericho has more than shown that he can hang with anyone so this was a benefit to both of them. Good match here as Cena is becoming a bigger and bigger star every single week.

We recap JBL vs. Batista (hometown boy) for the Smackdown World Title. JBL beat him by DQ last month so now it’s No Holds Barred. Not much more to it than that as JBL isn’t quite the believable challenger.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Batista is defending and it’s No Holds Barred. We get the JBL dollars raining from the ceiling during JBL’s entrance. The fight starts at the entrance with Batista ramming him into various things. A fire extinguisher into the face drops Batista though and JBL punches him around the barricade, only to have Batista spear him through said barricade.

They get inside for the first time with JBL kicking him in the head, followed by some whipping with a belt. Back up and Batista charges into a boot in the corner, setting up the Clothesline From JBL for two. JBL slides in the steps and this isn’t going to end well. The powerbomb off the steps is countered into a backdrop off of them and Batista hits the spinebuster. There’s the Batista Bomb but Batista doesn’t cover. Another Batista Bomb onto the steps retains the title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it was way better than their previous match as it didn’t go on forever, though the stipulation wasn’t exactly used. They went with the definitive ending here as Batista completely beat him, which is all it should have been. JBL was never a threat to Batista and now they can both move on to something else, with both of them going in the proper direction.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan. They teamed a handful of times and then Shawn superkicked him on the Fourth of July. Shawn said he had to know and the match was made. Everything went spiraling out of control after that though, with Shawn turning it into a weird near shoot on Hogan’s career while Hogan just referenced Bret Hart and screwjobs a few times. Shawn has carried this feud on his back and it’s going to be interesting to see how they get to the big boot and legdrop.

Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels

Hogan has the big flag out for the entrance. It’s a long staredown to start before Hogan shoves him away and shows off the biceps. Hogan shoves him down a few more times and Shawn is already frustrated. A headlock works a bit better for Shawn until a shoulder sends him into a backflip through the ropes as the overselling is already strong. Back in and Shawn knees him in the ribs but gets put on top so Hogan can kick him in the ribs.

Shawn bounces as high into the air as he can for a crotching, before a ram into the buckle gives us a bump that Mr. Perfect would think is too much. A clothesline puts Shawn on the floor where he rolls backwards again, gets up and falls back down. Shawn manages a kick to the face though and starts chopping away in the corner. The slap to the face does not go well so Shawn does it again before chopping even more. A third slap earns Shawn a right hand out to the floor but they both get posted with Hogan staggering around a lot.

Shawn posts him again but still can’t put Hogan down so it’s time for some left hands to the head. Some right hands in the corner get Shawn shoved down again (make it twice), only to have him finally punch Hogan down (you don’t see that too often). Hogan is finally busted open and Shawn grabs the sleeper to follow the Randy Savage formula from Wrestlemania V. Shawn’s arm is covered in blood as Hogan suplexes his way to freedom.

The forearm into the nipup lets Shawn drop the elbow (OH YEAH indeed) but this one misses (leave it to Savage kid). Hogan slugs away but Shawn tries another forearm, which takes out the referee. The fans want Bret (fair enough after the promos building this up) but Shawn is up first and heads to the top, only to come back down for a terrible Sharpshooter (even Rock’s is better than that).

Another referee comes in and Hogan very slowly makes it to the rope. Hogan kicks him into the second referee and everyone is down again. A low blow drops Hogan and a chair to the head finally lets Shawn hit the elbow. Sweet Chin Music connects for two but Hogan kicks out, Hulks Up, punches away and finishes with the big boot and legdrop. So that’s how they got there.

Rating: B-. The match was a weird one (YOU THINK?) as Shawn was doing his over the top selling and turning it into a joke at first but then it settled into a match with a pretty simple formula that hit the high points but didn’t exactly break the mold. Hogan was the definitive winner here and Shawn hit everything he could without being able to finish Hogan off. I liked it well enough and it’s certainly a dream match, but it’s two matches in one and that’s a little distracting.

Post match Hogan poses but Shawn stops him to make everything nice. Shawn says he had to know and, as usual, wrestlers are rather forgiving about the whole situation. It’s more posing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was all over the place with some good wrestling and action but a lot of things that felt like they should have been so much more. It’s an enjoyable show and something I’d watch again down the line, but it felt like they were going for a stacked show and as it is, it’s just pretty good. Fix some of the bigger holes and it’s a great one, but I’ll take what I can get after a build that wasn’t their best work.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – 2005 (2013 Redo): Subtle Shawn, Subtle

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

The Navy color guard presents the flag and Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem. She may stumble over a lot of announcements but she can sing the heck out of that song.

Never mind as the main song that will be played in the arena is some stupid hip hop song.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Edge vs. Matt Hardy

Rating: C+. This was fun while it lasted but the length and ending crippled it. Matt was on fire coming in but he would be made to look like the jobbiest jobber of all time during the feud with Edge. Eventually Edge would send him to Raw and keep Lita, ultimately winning the world title in a few months. This was more or less it for Matt as far as being a big deal.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Eddie slides in the ladder and goes up but a springboard dropkick takes Guerrero down. Another ladder is brought in but Rey dropkicks it into Eddie, sending both the ladder and Guerrero to the floor. A great looking springboard seated senton takes Eddie down but Rey is too banged up to immediately climb. They slug it out on the ladder with Eddie taking over but they botch the first big spot of the match: Eddie tries a sunset bomb but Rey falls off a second late, meaning he falls on Eddie instead of with him.

Back up and the ladder crushes Rey in the corner before Eddie brings in a second ladder. Rey is sandwiched between the ladders so Eddie can hit a slingshot hilo in a painful looking spot. Guerrero goes up but Rey sets the other ladder up like a ramp to get to the top. Eddie is backdropped onto the ladder ramp, sending both ladders and both wrestlers crashing down to the mat. Rey goes up one more time but has the ladder dropkicked out from under him in the second crash in 90 seconds.

Rey hits Guerrero with the briefcase post match.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

Kurt sends him into the buckle but Eugene Hulks Up and does his goofy punching and a Rock Bottom for two. A Stunner gets the same and Eugene is pulls invisible straps down to set up an ankle lock on Angle. Kurt easily gets up and hits the Angle Slam followed by the ankle lock for the submission.

Rating: D. They booked a five minute squash at Summerslam for KURT ANGLE??? Seriously? This was a horribly dull match and Eugene had no business being in there. He barely even acts like himself anymore and is really just Hacksaw Jim Duggan minus the patriotism. Thankfully Kurt would move on to face Cena for three months straight after this.

Angle stands on a chair and has the medal placed around his neck.

The Divas are in bikinis and washing a limo. It has the Presidential logo on the door and Vince comes out. “Hey, why not?” THANKFULLY this went nowhere.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Some big shot Republicans are here.

Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

The fans are split here as Jericho chokes away on the ropes. Cena is in trouble but he comes back with a HARD clothesline to put both guys down again. They slug it out with Cena taking over and hitting his usual finishing sequence, including the spinning powerbomb but as he loads up the Five Knuckle Shuffle, Jericho counters into the Walls. After a long crawl, Cena finally makes it to the rope to escape. A belly to back superplex gets two for Jericho but as they get back up, he charges right into the FU to retain the title for Cena.

Chicago gets Wrestlemania 22.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL dollars rain from the sky before we get going. The fight starts in the aisle and a belt shot to the head has JBL in trouble. They head over to some of the equipment with JBL being sent into various metal objects. Batista is whipped into a steel case and they brawl through the crowd to ringside where the champion spears JBL through the barricade. A dazed Batista is sent into the post and we finally get inside the ring.

Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan

Michaels cools his heels on the floor before the bell as the fans are way into this. Hogan easily wins the first lockup and shoves Shawn down a few more times. The fans tell Shawn that he screwed Bret as he hooks a headlock to take over for a few moments. A hard shoulder block puts Shawn on the floor and Michaels stalls again. Back in and Shawn chops away before being whipped onto the top rope for some punts to the ribs. Shawn is crotched on the top and punched in the face for his efforts.

Hogan drops him on the announce table and pounds away with those “ham-like” right hands. Shawn is posted but Hogan breaks the count at nine. Hogan tries to ram him in again but Shawn slips off and posts Hulk instead. The bald one is cut open and Shawn pounds away at the cut. They fall to the mat with Shawn staying on the assault and the cut being in such a goofy straight line that you almost have to chuckle.

Shawn and Hogan make up and massive posing ends the show.

Ratings Comparison

Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B

Redo: B-

Kurt Angle vs. Eugene

Original: A+

Redo: D

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: C+

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C

Redo: C

Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: D

Redo: D+

Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/08/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2005-shawn-vs-hogan-and-cena-vs-batista/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – 2005 (Original): A Special Stipulation

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

The main change can be summed up in one word: Cena and Batista. They took the world titles at Wrestlemania and haven’t looked back since. Other than that, there’s not a lot of differences. The main changes would be the alignments of some faces and heels. Eddie is now a heel, as is Orton, who was getting to the tweener stage last year. Edge is also full heel now, but that deserves a special mention later.

The main event however has none of those people to worry about. Tonight, the main event is a clash of two titans. Ok maybe more like a titan against Zeus, as Hulk Hogan meets Shawn Michaels. Now this wasn’t much of a rivalry as much as it was a challenge. At Backlash, the two had teamed up to fight off the evil of Muhammad Hassan and Daivari.

Then on the Fourth of July, Shawn superkicked him to end Raw, leading us here. To say the promos that Shawn did leading up to this were hilarious is the understatement of the year. Anyway, that’s the undisputed main event and also a source of controversy which I’ll get to later. Anyway, let’s get to this. Oh yeah one last note: due to the draft, the titles have switched shows.

Lillian sings the National Anthem which is awesome as always. You can see how much she puts into it and it’s awesome.

The video is great here, although that may be because it’s set to Remedy by Seether, one of my all time favorite songs. We get the usual highlights of the feuds, but then once it looks like we’ve done them all and the song plays for a bit, Shawn kicks Hogan to bring it to a dead halt. It’s just really well done and highlights all of the matches that are coming up tonight.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan is champion here. Jordan won the title from Cena about 5 months ago. He really never did much with the title other than have some bad looking boxing moves, despite being a decent boxer as an amateur. He beat Benoit at the Great American Bash but had to use the turnbuckle to do it. This is Benoit’s rematch.

The Crippler gets a great pop. Always interesting to see a guy go from main eventing to opening the show. Wow I forgot how annoying Jordan was. That all being said, this match lasts 25 seconds. Here’s the whole match: They lock up, Benoit takes him to the corner, Jordan punches him once, Benoit hits the German, crossface, new champion.

Rating: N/A. This was AWESOME. The crowd was losing it as soon as he got the crossface on and so was I. I won’t give it a rating but if I did, instant A. The crowd is completely fired up now and they think they can’t miss a thing now. GREAT way to start the show. I loved this.

Since there was next to nothing to say there, here’s the aftermath of it. They would have three rematches. One would last longer than this, clocking in at an earth shattering 49.8 seconds. It led to some very funny segments with Benoit trying to find things he could do that lasted longer than the match. Again, this was AWESOME.

Eddie is in the…HOLY CRAP IS THAT VICKIE??? She’s got red hair, a MUCH nicer voice and is thin. Ok, now I could see him marrying that. I’ll go into what they talk about later, as the angle is without a doubt the dumbest I’ve ever seen and deserves its own discussion.

There are soldiers there from the military hospital. That never stops being cool.

We recap Edge vs. Matt. Holy crap where do I begin here? This is one of the best stories of all time. Notice I didn’t say storyline there, because it was a real event. Matt and Lita were dating, and she left him for Edge. This became public knowledge and Edge kept teasing that Matt would come and beat him up for it.

Matt was at ROH for awhile, and then in what was one of the most shocking things I can ever remember, Matt showed up on Raw from out of nowhere, stunning everyone including the IWC by shouting that he’d see everyone at Ring of Honor. Yes, ROH was mentioned by name on WWE television.

The key to this was simple: the announcers weren’t told it was coming. How in the world are they supposed to respond to it? It threw everyone off and was a huge success as NO ONE saw this coming. If you want to credit Edge’s rise to the top to one thing, this is it.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

To say Lita looks good is like saying Sly is an ok debater. She’s looking extra hot here, with the jeans and bra but her stomach is all muscular and thin. I can easily see why a fight would break out over her. Edge is just about booed out of the building. The pop for Matt is huge. If there was ever a time that he should have been pushed to the moon, this was it. This is likely to be a shoot and not a regular match. Yep, it’s a shoot.

If this was a work, then give these two freaking medals. I know at least some of those shots were legit. This might be the hardest hitting match I’ve ever seen. Other than a spear through the ropes like he did to Foley, everything is a strike that you might see in a UFC fight. Matt’s head gets opened up and after a bunch of stiff shots to it, the referee stops it. I know that part was a work, as it’s a bad cut but not horrid.

Oddly enough, Matt would go on to cleanly win the next two matches before losing to Edge in a ladder match and having to leave Raw. It looks bad now, but he would redeem himself. The replay shows that the post spot where Matt got cut was a work, as he more or less crawls forward to get in position. Even still, very fun match.

Rating: B+. For what it was, this was great. For a wrestling match, it was BAD. However, I loved it for how brutal it looked and how great Lita looked, so while a lot would go the opposite here and I wouldn’t argue with them, this was fun. It wasn’t good, but it was fun.

There’s two songs apparently, a very bad pop/rap song and Remedy.

And now we have arrived. What we have next is without a doubt the WORST angle I have ever seen. Before I do the recap, allow me to quote Tony Chimmel’s announcement of the next match.

“The following contest is a ladder match FOR THE CUSTODY OF DOMINICK!”

Yes, the stipulation here is that the winner of this match gets custody of an 8 year old boy. Here’s your story: Eddie and Rey were tag team champions yet for awhile they had some one on one matches and Eddie never won. All of a sudden he started talking about a secret, which clearly was that he was Rey’s son’s real father. Eventually they had a match at the Great American Bash where if Eddie won he would get to tell the secret, but if he lost it stayed a secret.

Rey won, but on Smackdown Eddie just said it anyway which was something that I loved. Either way, Eddie gets custody of Dominick but is willing to put it on the line in a ladder match for one more chance to beat Rey. Dominick is at ringside with his social worker, just to make this even more ridiculous. One final note: Rey Mysterio is a lucky man, as his wife is smoking.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

This, as I said, is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of, but the match should be good. Tazz and Cole talk about their sons as Rey hugs Dominick. This is what Eddie and Vickie were talking about earlier if you didn’t get that. We start with a stall as neither guy really moves at all. Yeah that’s a great way to get the crowd more fired up: don’t move. Apparently Eddie is 0-6 vs. Rey in his career. Dominick, the scared little boy, standing next to a guy in a Cactus Jack shirt is funny to me for some reason.

I get that he’s supposed to be scared and I think he’s playing his part well, we don’t need to see his reaction after every move. They bring the ladders in pretty fast and it’s mostly just their regular moves with the ladders involved along with some basic stuff. Rey is off a bit here which makes great sense as he’s worried about his son.

That’s a nice piece of logic and it makes perfect sense here. In a great spot, Eddie is almost up the ladder but Rey sets another ladder up like a ramp and climbs it to stop Eddie. That’s pretty good but the good part is the backdrop off the ladder, which causes both of them to fall and the crash is just great. Cole calls Eddie sick about 10 times which makes me think he needs some antibiotics.

Ok, now this match just gets bad. Eddie hits a big spot to knock Rey out. He’s climbing the ladder and is about to win, and DOMINICK runs in to shake the ladder. Eddie drops down and says things like “Give me a hug” and “I’m going to be your new daddy!” Ok, where do I begin here? Number one, where is security? They can’t stop an 8 year old boy from jumping the guard rail, or I guess in his case climbing it, getting in the ring, grabbing the ladder, or Eddie from raising his fist at him?

Number two, where was that social worker or whatever? Isn’t her job to make sure that the kid is safe? Yes, I’m sure that it’s safe for a child to run into a wrestling ring and shake a ladder with a grown man on it. Number three, isn’t a social worker a local thing? What kind of social worker would allow this to even happen? How could a professional wrestling match determine the custody of a child? And we have another 7 minutes to go! Where is my medicine?

Finally, does anyone else think Eddie sounds a little perverted with what he said in there? He says more than what I said, but it’s just a bit odd sounding. Anyway, Rey does another dumb spot as he hits the 619 into the ladder into Eddie. Yeah, that’s very smart Rey. And you wonder why your knees are shot. Oh and Eddie looking over his shoulder while in position didn’t help things.

After Rey hangs from the cord, (Eddie catches him in a powerbomb but Cole keeps calling it a Spinebuster until Tazz corrects him after seeing the replay) he gets pinned under the ladder as Eddie climbs up. Eddie then proves how stupid these matches can be as he spends like 20 seconds trying to unhook the stupid thing while waving at Rey. Rey of course counters and shakes the ladder and Eddie hangs on the cord.

Who makes those things, NASA? I would have loved it if Eddie had tucked his knees in and Rey had tried to jump up to grab him but he just wasn’t tall enough. Cole and Tazz go one and on about how Eddie has no heart. I love how last year he had the biggest heart in the world, but now it’s revealed that he’s always had a black heart. My goodness I love kayfabe. Where in the world did they come up with that term anyway?

Rey is in trouble again as Eddie goes up but Vickie runs out and shoves him off. Tazz’s line of she doesn’t belong out here made me laugh out loud. You know, if she wore something other than brown she could actually be attractive. She’s probably 40 pounds lighter here if that means anything. Dang how many times does Rey have to be saved here? Anyway, Rey climbs up and Vickie grabs Eddie to hold him back so Rey wins.

Dominick jumps the railing again as Rey’s wife walks down the ramp to join them. Seriously, how bad is security in this building??? Eddie throws a fit as Cole’s commentary tells us just how stupid this whole thing really was. Rey slides back in and with Eddie looking at him the whole time, he nails Eddie in the head with the briefcase. Great way to treat something you worked so hard to get.

Rating: B. The match was fine, but DANG the storyline couldn’t have been shoved down our throats any harder. We get it: Eddie is evil and Rey is about to lose his family. You spent half the match talking about it. This is an example of where commentary can hurt a match. At the end I almost wanted Eddie to win so I could laugh at Cole and Tazz. Either way, the match itself was fine, all stupid parts aside. It’s hard to think that Eddie would be dead in three months.

Jericho cuts a solid promo about how he will win tonight and that Cena is just the flavor of the month. He says that he beat Rock and Austin in the same night and that Cena can’t compare to them. There’s a thread there, and remember this was 4 years ago.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

My goodness why does Eugene keep getting the good wrestlers at this show? Christy Hemme comes out with Eugene dressed as a rather nice cheerleader, so maybe there’s something to Eugene. The story, which isn’t told here, is that Angle had been offering his gold medals to anyone that could last 3 minutes with him. Eugene won them, and now he wants it back. That leads us here as there’s no time limit for this match. Oh joy, oh rapture.

We’re finally at Kurt’s best known look, as he’s bald and has the You Suck chants. The odd thing is that he miss times his pyro so as he’s walking to the ring it goes off instead of when he’s pointing up. Eugene is getting killed for the early part here but comes back and tries a People’s Elbow. Angle pops up and takes his head off with a clothesline to one of the biggest pops of the night. Angle is just killing him here and the fans are WAY behind him.

Eugene looks like a jobber with his offense here and is getting booed out of the building from just a few basic punches. See WWE, there’s this thing called LISTENING. Try it sometime. German suplex is called an Angle suplex as Eugene is just about out of it, drawing another huge pop. I’ve heard of wrestlers being hated before but this is some of the worst I’ve ever seen. Coach says Angle wants to continue to beatdown the beatdown. Right, thank you Coach.

Eugene hulks up and hits a Rock Bottom that gets two. He asks the referee if it was three and then remembers his gimmick is that he’s slow. A stunner gets two as the crowd is as hot as Christy. Eugene pulls down some invisible straps so it looks like he’s scratching his shoulders and puts on the ankle lock. I thought he was emulating his favorite wrestlers. A guy that hates him is his favorite? Whatever.

Angle counters, hits the slam and makes Eugene tap to the roar of the fans. They kept it short, which was a great idea here as last year’s 17 minute match was just flat out stupid. Even Ross is talking about how dominant that was. Afterwards, Angle stands on a chair and has the referee put the medal around his neck which is kind of cool.

Rating: A+. Anytime Eugene gets destroyed like he did here, it’s a great match. He was just annoying at this point. A year ago he was ok I guess as the gimmick of someone that was slow but was a wrestling savant was actually kind of cool. Now he’s just slow as his wrestling ability has been forgotten and he just uses big time finishers. See, that’s how you can tell they’ve given up on him. They had a cool idea and then they just dropped it. That’s never a good sign, period.

The Divas are in bikinis and washing a car for no apparent reason. We see that it has the Presidential logo on it. The window rolls down and Vince is in it. He says why not? A bumper stickers says McMahon for President. Nothing ever came of this.

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

We cut back to the arena and just hear a gong. Thanks for the buildup or anything guys. This is just a Mania rematch which happened because Orton wanted to stop the streak. I’ve always liked Burn in My Light better than Voices. Orton standing in front of the pyro doing his pose just looks awesome. Even though he’s a heel he actually gets a solid pop.

I miss this version of Orton. For one thing the color of his skin is a bit less orange. It’s weird seeing Taker come out first. Orton hits the floor early to hide and I can’t say I blame him. Taz seems to agree with me. Taker slaps him in the face and the beating is on. I love seeing Taker grab someone by the throat and throw them into the corner. It’s just awesome looking.

Apparently Orton smiled after taking a chokeslam on Thursday so he’s getting in the head of the Deadman. Sounds to me like he’s getting chokeslamed which usually means he would lose. Old School is blocked by an arm drag which gets two, likely because it was an arm drag. Orton might have a bad shoulder thanks to a match with Benoit on Smackdown.

Orton takes over with punches. Take a guess as to how well that goes for him. BIG boot takes Orton down for two. This is different than their Mania match and I’m not sure if I like it better or not. Just waiting on Taker’s momentum to die until he gets beaten up for like 8 minutes and then we hit the finish. Running knee in the corner has Orton in big trouble.

Taker keeps going after the referee for no good reason. He tries the same running shot in the corner and of course it misses, allowing Orton to take over. He gets a modified elevated DDT as Taker is coming in for two. Orton goes to the knee as no one has EVER tried that on Taker right?

Powerslam by Orton gets two. And so much for a pin attempt as he goes back to the knee. With his good leg he hits the apron legdrop and actually SELLS THE LEG. I’m just so darn proud! He somehow manages to hit Old School but can’t follow up due to the knee. Snake Eyes hit but the big boot can’t work so Orton gets a dropkick to put Taker down. RKO is blocked though.

Tombstone is reversed and of course that doesn’t work but the reversal is reversed into the backbreaker for two. WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO TOMBSTONE UNDERTAKER??? That has never worked once unless your name is Kane. Does no one watch tape anymore? Crazy new generation. Chokeslam hits and there’s the sign for the tombstone.

A fan runs in and it’s Bob Orton. For the life of me I will never get the appeal of him. Seriously, what’s so great about Bob Orton? What makes him a legend, aside from hanging out with Roddy Piper? That isn’t revealed though until later. Taker goes to get Orton and walks into the RKO for the pin. And the fan is Bob Orton.

Rating: B-. It’s nowhere near their Mania match, so that’s not helping things. I like how they had Bob come in at the end though as it adds something new which furthers the story a bit. There would be two more matches with these two before they finally blew it off in the Cell at Armageddon.

This was fine, but I prefer Mania by a lot, as we had seen a lot of this before, 4 months prior to this. Still not bad at all though. It amazes me how Orton has gone from the rookie wonder last year to this in just a year’s time.

They point out some Republican politicians in the crowd and no one cares.

Time to recap Jericho vs. Cena, which Ross messes up by saying Jericho is champion. This was more about Cena vs. Bischoff as they try to redo Austin vs. McMahon. Jericho is his handpicked opponent to become champion. We knew Jericho was leaving after Raw the next night so there was a real chance they would do the one night title switch and put it back on Cena the next night. Jericho is walking to the ring as we see him from the back coming through the curtain as his music plays. That’s kind of cool.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

In a weird sounding thing, Lillian says that Jericho was born in New York. When have they ever worded it like that? This is being built up as rock vs. rap. Yeah that’s great. The Cena pop is huge. Wow Lawler is 3-0 at Summerslam? That’s actually quite surprising. They point out that it’s wrestling vs. brawling here, and mention Rock and Austin. Dude, it’s great, but even I’m sick of hearing about it. On the floor Cena hits….let’s call it a spear I guess.

It’s kind of just a running tackle that they call a spear. Ross surprisingly says he’s not a Cena fan. He says that he tells it like it is, which makes me laugh even harder. This is pretty much dominance to start, as JR uses the word sycophant. Dang how much foreshadowing are they going to do? Ross is being kind of a jerk here as he keeps telling Coachman to shut up. For once I agree with Ross. Coach uses Rock lines which make me shake my head.

The commentary is more interesting than the match here as Jericho is pretty much dominating. Top rope superplex is cool. In a cool looking spot Cena goes for the shoulder block and Jericho slides between his legs. You know Jericho has two of the worst finishers of all time with the Lionsault and the Walls. When did they ever win anything when he was a heel? By the way, the STFU was a few weeks away at this point. He does however use the top rope leg here. You can tell he’s still not entirely comfortable with being the top star, but he’s getting there.

FU is blocked into a DDT, which was foreshadowed by the feet of Jericho kicking. That’s the natural counter to everything I guess. We have very loud dueling chants of let’s go Cena/Jericho. At the time, Jericho just failed as a heel because he was far too much like his old face persona. A lot of his movements and mannerisms are the same, which is why his current persona works much better. It’s completely different than his old one was and there’s little likable about it.

Five moves are countered, namely the You Can’t See Me. Jericho’s epic counter you ask? He rolls over. I love how “big” moves are blocked so easily at times. The Walls of course do nothing at all but get a face pop. Cena goes for an FU from the second rope which doesn’t work.

Jericho gets a running start but Cena grabs him and in a very cool looking sequence, hooks him in a tilt a whirl up onto his shoulder to FU him for the finish as JR yells louder than he did when Austin was champ. That ending was very cool looking.

Rating: C. This felt way too short. Cena was beaten up almost the whole time but in the end of course he hits his big move to knock off the enemy. It was fine for a PPV match I guess, but it was far from special. They would have another match the next night where the loser was fired. Jericho lost and would leave for almost 3 years.

WM 22 is in Chicago.

Recap of the JBL vs. Batista feud which more or less is them having a match at the Bash but Batista gets disqualified. That makes JBL want this to be no holds barred.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. JBL

JBL makes it rain 100 dollar bills to get the fans to cheer. They find that they’re JBL dollars to make them boo. The speed at which this crowd changes is amusing. Batista gets the big pop as the home town boy. However he gets jumped on the way to the ring as I think they figured out that this just wasn’t going to be a good wrestling match no matter what they did so they just made it a big brawl. They go into the crowd for a bit and Batista spears JBL through the barricade to get him back to ringside.

Well that’s one way to do it I guess. Hokey smoke they’re in the ring. For the second time tonight Cole knows the amount of time that the people have been champions. Thanks, but isn’t that a bit of overkill? As usual, a leather belt is brought in. Why would you wear one of those in a match anyway? It’s not like you think it’s safe or something. No one could be that stupid. Wait this is JBL and Batista. Ignore what I just said.

This is just a lot of hitting each other with power moves and the no holds barred thing is kind of stupid. The epic clothesline isn’t enough to stop Batista, so JBL gets some steps. Those are some freaking huge steps. This is just really bad. JBL misses a powerbomb from the steps, not onto them mind you. Batista Bomb but he doesn’t cover, but instead stands there like a moron with his mouth hanging open. The fans chant one more time so I guess you know what’s coming.

Yep, it’s a power bomb on the steps. I’m not impressed either. Of course this ends it. The impact wasn’t that good either as it’s such a far shorter drop that there’s no time to get any momentum behind it.

Rating: D. Yeah this was bad. It’s less than ten minutes and that might have been too long. The problem here is simple: these two are just big strong brawlers and that style doesn’t work against each other and it didn’t here. You need someone of a different style so that the power works well against it. This was really bad though as it was obvious who would win and there was no drama at all. Bad match and no drama means a waste of time.

Recap of the real main event, which I have to give them credit for getting right here as neither of the other matches should have closed out the show. Short version: Hogan and Michaels teamed up to fight the evil Middle Eastern guys, and then they teamed a bit more. Shawn said he had to know if he could beat Hogan, and that’s how we got here.

If I went through all of the promos for this I’d run out of room for how funny they were. I don’t think they were trying to make Shawn heel here but rather the less good of the two guys. This was actually a major match when you think about it and it was treated as such, so what more can you ask for here?

HBK vs. Hulk Hogan

We come back to the arena to dead silence. I mean nothing is going on but the general noise of the fans. Yeah that’s a great way to come out of a good video package guys. A few seconds of this is fine, but it goes on for about 15 seconds. That doesn’t sound like much but it’s a LONG time when you’re just sitting there waiting. Shawn FINALLY comes out to a pop but not a huge one. We still have no commentary.

Shawn prays as he usually does. I wonder if he’s praying to Hogan. Listen to his old promos and tell me he doesn’t sound like he thinks he’s God. The announcers try to make Shawn out to be an evil heel but it’s just failing. Dang the MCI Center needs a new roof. The fans just blew it off. A massive American Flag drops from the ceiling and it just looks awesome. The commentary is just completely biased as only Coach is on Shawn’s side.

Ok Hogan’s entrance is now at four minutes long. Neither has ever lost at Summerslam in a one on one match. That’s saying a lot. Shawn, forever the strategist, thinks it’s a good idea to try to overpower Hogan. Do I even need to make fun of that? A LOUD you screwed Bret chant starts up. It could be debated that such a chant could be directed at either person. They try to play this off as being the biggest match in Hogan’s career. That is just flat out funny.

This isn’t even the biggest match of Hogan’s career in this building, as this was where Hogan vs. Sting happened. Michaels’ bumping is just funny here as he’s selling a punch like a shot from a cannon. They talk about the big men that both men have beaten. Shawn is credited with Vader (he never beat him though), Diesel and Sid. Ok that’s all fine. They mention Hogan beating Andre and Coach mentions Big John Studd. This gets dead silence.

While it’s true that he beat John on some house shows, I don’t think he ever did it on a major show or a national broadcast, so I can see the skepticism there. Shawn slaps Hogan twice and actually gets away with it. They go to the floor with Hogan just killing him, but eventually Hogan goes into the posts head first. Amazingly enough he rubs his head, and right where he rubs it he’s bleeding. What are the odds of that?

You have to love that Shawn is beating up a 52 year old man. You have to love that this match isn’t stopped for the blood yet Matt vs. Edge was. Do you mean that Hogan isn’t as important as Matt Hardy? Shawn with a sleeper that Ross says is cutting off the flow of blood to the brain. Wouldn’t that kind of be helping Hogan since blood is flowing from his head? They ask how many people can say ended Hogan with his blood on their hands. I’m thinking Brock Lesnar there boys.

Shawn hits what I guess is supposed to be a forearm but Hogan just kind of falls over. Shawn goes for ANOTHER forearm but the referee goes down because of it. Do we really need that in this match? Just let one or the other get the win. The fans want Bret. Where in the heck does that come from? Shawn then applies the absolute WORST sharpshooter of all time.

He looks like he’s bent over in prison or something and Hogan looks like he’s in a half crab, which isn’t his fault as Shawn didn’t put it on right. Shawn got the leg crossing wrong I think. Yeah he did it’s supposed to be with the other arm. We have another referee here by the way. JR says that both men are looking for a win. I thought they were both looking for the way to Sesame Street. The other referee is down too. Yeah this isn’t overkill at all.

Shawn with a low blow that JR calls a low blow and then that it doesn’t need a description. Isn’t calling it low a description? Chair is brought in and barely hits Hogan as he falls early from it and Shawn lets it slide over the top of his head. Sweet Chin Music connects which gets a huge pop as Shawn circles Hogan to cover him correctly so Hogan can do the power kick out. Yep there it is.

Ok, now I can get that when Hogan is hit by an elbow or a splash that he can kick out like that, but this is a hard blow to his head. That makes NO sense, even from a wrestling perspective. We get the boot and leg drop, complete with Shawn’s insane selling that’s drawn a lot of criticism.

If Hogan can completely no sell the kick, Shawn can do that for the boot. Post match Shawn tilts face again. I say tilts because he never really turned in the first place. Oh and all of a sudden the commentators love him again too. The famous poses play us out.

Rating: B-. It was what it was, but no one believed Shawn was going to win. However, he should have. Hogan is certainly the bigger star, but he’s not a full time wrestler at this point and Shawn was. If Shawn wins here, he’s instantly getting a huge push as he just beat Hulk Hogan. Now I get that Hogan should win as the bigger star, and if they were both leaving or both staying you would be absolutely right, but that’s not what they were doing.

Shawn was staying and a win for him would be a huge push. Yes Hogan is the best ever, but he’s not even active at the moment so it looks like Shawn lost to some guy that just came back and beat him. I just don’t agree with this booking at all.

Overall Rating: B. This is a show where the overall product is much better than the individual matches. Batista vs. JBL is the only truly bad match on the card. The rest are good if not quite good. I don’t think there’s a true classic anywhere here or even a great match, but with everything being at least decent save for the WHC, this is a solid show. I’ll recommend it, but not completely.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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PWG Ernest P. Worrell Memorial: Needs More Ernest

IMG Credit: Pro Wrestling Guerrilla

Ernest P. Worrell Memorial
Date: March 12, 2005
Commentators: Excalibur, Disco Machine

When you do this for the better part of ten years, you think you’ll never find something new to say. Then you start looking through PWG show names and realize you have no idea what you’re talking about. Worrell was a character played by Jim Varney who appeared in a bunch of movies with his name in the title. He died five years before this show took place and that is the last bit of a connection that he has with anything on this show. Let’s get to it.

I have only seen a handful of PWG shows ever so I have no idea what is going on here storyline or character wise. Please bear with me if I miss some major details.

Excalibur (yes of AEW, in case you thought it was another Excalibur) is in the ring with I believe his SBS (not sure what that stands for) stablemate Super Dragon and talks about how great it is to be back here. Apparently Disco Machine has been promoted to interim Commissioner of PWG and the last time Excalibur was here, Machine suspended him for one month without pay. That’s not good because it took money from Excalibur, while also taking away his time in front of this audience.

Disco Machine needs to get out here RIGHT NOW and decide if he’s the commissioner or part of SBS. Super Dragon jumps him from behind but here’s Disco Machine to make the save. Dancing ensues and Excalibur thanks him before Disco says they have a lot of business to take care of in PWG. Cue Hook Bomberry and Top Gun Talwar (neither are named here as there is no commentary) with Talwar shouting a lot. Talwar wants Disco Machine to stop being a boss and be a wrestler again, so all four shake hands and it’s time for an eight man tag.

Ronin/Ballard Brothers/Charles Mercury vs. Excalibur/Disco Machine/Hook Bomberry/Top Gun Talwar

We have commentary (on the second audio channel for some reason) as Disco strikes away at Mercury to start with a backslide getting two. Disco goes to the armbar as commentary talks about Mercury’s issues with credit cards (commentary isn’t exactly the highest quality here, as it seems more like they were told to do it and aren’t quite putting in their best effort). Mercury counters a springboard armdrag into a cross armbreaker but Disco is out in a hurry.

They both miss dropkicks and it’s off to Bomberry vs. Shane Ballard (in his hockey jersey ala his brother). As we hear about Shane enjoying being verbally abused by his romantic partners due to childhood bullying issues, Bomberry shoulders him down and follows with a bad dropkick. A basement version to the side of the head gets two on Shane. Talwar and Shannon come in and it’s a cheap shot from Ronin to annoy Talwar in a hurry. Everything breaks down and it’s a quadruple bite (fingers and boots) to Shannon. I’m not sure what good it does to bite someone’s boot but Excalibur never struck me as all that bright.

Talwar and Shannon trade shoulders for one each, followed by exchanges of hiptosses and armdrags until Talwar misses another armdrag. They roll around for some quick rollups each and they’re so dizzy that they can’t stand up. Talwar collapses onto Shannon’s crotch so it’s off to Excalibur vs. Ronin. One of the fans doesn’t like Excalibur so we stop for him to be upset.

Excalibur hits a dropkick and running shoulder, followed by some jumping knees to the chest. A forearm to the face puts Excalibur down though and the Brothers come in for a double Russian legsweep. As commentary debates the merits of going to Russia, Ronin splashes Excalibur in the corner and Mercury clears the good guys off the apron. Shannon charges into a boot in the corner but comes back with a DDT for two. Excalibur gets in a big boot and a cubic zirconium cutter for the hot tag off to Disco as everything breaks down.

The good guys clear the ring and load up a series of dives, with Disco and Excalibur missing, Bomberry getting kicked out of the air, and Talwar landing on the apron. Call that a rather mixed bag I guess. Mercury and Bomberry chop it out at ringside with Mercury sending him face first into a chair. Back in and Ronin’s powerslam is countered into a reverse DDT from Talwar for two with Mercury making a save. A DDT gets two on Talwar with Excalibur making a diving save. We hit the parade of secondary finishers for some near falls and Talwar turns on Disco, setting up a Whirling Dervish from Shane for the pin at 13:54.

Rating: C-. This could have been a lot worse, though it still wasn’t exactly must see. They had a good amount of action, but it is rather clear that these guys don’t have the most extensive training outside of the fast paced indy style. I get why that kind of wrestling is popular, but the lack of almost anything else can get a little tiresome. Odds are that is going to be the case throughout the show, though maybe some of the others can be a little more seasoned.

Post match we’re clipped (doesn’t seem long) to Bomberry and Talwar beating down Disco and Excalibur. Talwar grabs the mic and shouts about stealing some titles….and injecting them into himself? Disco tries to fight back but the numbers get the better of him. Excalibur gets the same treatment, though points for at least trying. Disco gets up again and fights Talwar to the back.

Ricky Reyes vs. Chris Sabin

Reyes was part of the Havana Pitbulls in ROH and I’m pretty sure you know Sabin, who is making his company debut. They fight over wrist control to start and trade some flippy escapes. Excalibur dubs Reyes as the Tito Santana of PWG, which isn’t something I’m going to take lightly. Reyes grabs a headlock takeover as commentary talks about how Reyes can scout Sabin because Sabin is a regular on Impact. Fair point actually.

Sabin spins out of a double legsweep and gets two off a rollup, sending the fans into quite the applause over a standoff. Sabin forearms away in the corner and snaps off a hurricanrana to send Reyes outside. Naturally that means a suicide dive (indy show requirement) for two back inside but Reyes gets in a poke to the eye. A backbreaker gives Reyes two and he drops a knee to the chest. There’s an elbow to the face for two more and Reyes drops Sabin again for daring a sunset flip.

A loud kick to the back gets another near fall and it’s time to yell at the referee. Sabin uses the breather to come back with an elbow to the face as Excalibur talks about his love life declining. As a result, Sabin gave him some tips from the Kama Sutra. You can tell how professional this stuff is here people. Sabin comes off the top with a big diving DDT for his own two but the Cradle Shock is broken up.

Reyes grabs a bridging northern lights suplex for another near fall and they’re both down. Sabin manages an enziguri into a running diving powerbomb for a rather close two. A tornado DDT plants Sabin to give Reyes another near fall and it’s time for more kicks. Sabin shrugs them off and hits the Cradle Shock for the quick pin at 9:46.

Rating: C. I liked this one a bit more than the opener as it was a more grounded match that let them set things up a lot better. Granted the lack of six more wrestlers and an angle might have had something to do with that. Sabin is always worth a glance and Reyes has done some rather decent stuff in his own right so I’m not surprised that they had a nice match here.

Los Luchas vs. Human Tornado/Scorpio Sky

Tornado, with Dino Winwood, is replacing Sky’s regular partner Quicksilver, as the team is having some issues. Los Luchas (Zokre and Phoenix Star) have been around for the better part of ever. Zokre and Sky start things off as Excalibur talks about how he has been accused of being racist against Mexicans. With that out of the way, they trade armdrags and it’s off to Star for a dropkick to put Sky on the floor. Tornado comes in and gets springboard armdragged to the floor.

Zokre comes in for some miscommunication, followed by a headscissors. Sky is back in to pull Star out of the air into a Fujiwara armbar. Zokre kneebars Tornado at the same time but both holds are released. Sky sends Zokre outside and hits a running knee for two on Star. It’s Star being taken into the corner for a hiptoss backbreaker from Tornado. The chinlock (not a headlock Excalibur) goes on before it’s back to Sky for two off a dropkick. Star gets in a kick to the head though and it’s back to Zokre to pick up the pace.

A jumping knee to the chest drops Sky but Tornado avoids a rolling splash in the corner. Everything breaks down and Star does a handstand in the corner, leaving Sky and Tornado a little confused. Tornado walks over and pokes Star in the eye though, sending him down into a low blow on Zokre. Points for keeping it simple. Sky backbreakers Star and we hit the dancing for a bit. Zokre is back up with a middle rope double Blockbuster and everyone is down.

A surfboard to Tornado sets up a reverse Angle Slam from Star for two. Star spears Sky down for two more with Tornado making the save and sending Zokre outside. We settle back down to Tornado vs. Star, the latter of whom elbows the heck out of Tornado. A low blow has no effect on Tornado (it’s a thing with him) as everything breaks down again. Zokre breaks up Sky’s springboard and Star takes him out with a big dive.

Tornado takes them both down with a big flip dive and Zokre teases his own but bounces off the ropes instead. That leaves Sky to hit him with a twisting backbreaker, followed by a big dive of his own. Sky misses a frog splash though and everyone is back in. The Luchas tease stereo springboards but Zokre drops to the apron instead, leaving Star to hit a springboard flipping legdrop on Sky instead. Tornado breaks up Zokre’s dive but gets sent outside. That leaves the Luchas to hit a top rope Lionsault/springboard Swanton to finish Sky at 11:52.

Rating: C. That ending was rather sloppy and they didn’t exactly hide what happened. It was a fine enough spotfest match other than that but nothing that hasn’t been done better. Sky wasn’t standing out as much as he would later, though this wasn’t the kind of place for him to stand out. Fine enough match, but nothing that hasn’t been done better elsewhere.

Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles vs. El Generico vs. Kevin Steen

One fall to a finish for the #1 contendership for the World Title later tonight (the schedule had to be changed as original #1 contender Tony Stradlin was signed by WWE, where he never got out of developmental). Steen is better known as Kevin Owens and Generico is someone who knows Sami Zayn. Daniels gets a heck of a reception during the Big Match Intros and Styles’ isn’t that far behind. The MR. WRESTLING (Steen) chants start up after the bell as the fans are rather fickle here.

Steen (who is SKINNY here, as well as incredibly young) and Generico start things off and we actually have tags in a bit of a surprise. After a minute and a half of standing around, Steen takes Generico down with a front facelock. That’s reversed into a Fujiwara armbar as Excalibur talks about how he doesn’t like Generico that much. Steen switches to a headlock as Excalibur talks about loving astronomy and cooking, which somehow ties into Generico speaking French and Spanish but not English.

Generico armdrags Steen into the corner and it’s off to Daniels vs. Styles. That sends Daniels straight to the floor because he doesn’t want Styles just yet. So we can keep things moving, Styles tags Generico, who armdrags Daniels into an armbar. That lets Excalibur talk about NBA players using armdrags and the armbarring continues. Daniels chops his way out as Excalibur moves on to insulting all of Mexico, plus questioning how a luchador can be so pale.

Generico gets over to Styles for another tag so Daniels brings Steen back in. Styles slaps Steen in the face for offering a handshake (jerk) and headlocks him over. Now commentary has moved on to discussing Canadian television as Steen fights up, only to get caught in some armdrags. Back up and it’s off to Generico, who gets pulled into the corner so Daniels can keep him in trouble. Daniels even decks Steen, because Daniels isn’t that nice. It’s back to Steen for two off a snap suplex but Generico grabs a bridging northern lights suplex for two of his own.

Steen takes Generico down again and hands it back to AJ for a kick to the face/mask area. Generico blocks a suplex attempt so AJ goes with the always great drop down into the dropkick for two more. AJ goes Nexus with a McGillicutter but Daniels tags himself in and gets the two count. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back as Excalibur wraps up a two minute story about sending his dad a picture of AJ’s dropkick. Daniels drags Generico over to the corner so Steen tags himself in and unloads on Daniels to even the score from earlier. Steen grabs a chinlock with a knee in the back as the fans chant for Daniels again.

The regular chinlock goes on for a bit until Daniels elbows his way to freedom. A double clothesline drops both of them and it’s Steen bringing in AJ, with Generico nowhere to be seen. AJ unloads on Daniels with clotheslines and a spinwheel kick, followed by a neckbreaker for two. Daniels is back with a Blue Thunder Bomb for two of his own but the moonsault out of the corner into the reverse DDT puts Daniels down again.

Steen comes in for the save and gets belly to back faceplanted for two more. Daniels is back in with an Iconoclasm for two on Styles with Steen making the save this time as the tagging has been dropped. AJ sends Daniels to the floor and hits a big dive as Generico comes back in. Steen teases his own dive….and then covers Generico for the pin and the title shot at 21:19.

Rating: B. This was the first match that felt like a big deal and I can give you four guesses why that was the case. As you might have expected, AJ feels like the biggest and most polished star of the match, though Daniels wasn’t far behind. Good match here though and Steen doing the logical thing to take the pin is very fitting for him, even back then.

Next up is the Tag Team Title match but the champs, Arrogance (Scott Lost/Chris Bosh) have something to say. Before we can get to that though, the fans tell Kazarian that he’s the coolest. Kazarian is ready to introduce his mystery partner but Lost needs to announce that ROBOCOP will be here in two weeks (at the venue, not a PWG show). Bosh: “I LOVE ROBOCOP!”

Hold on though as Bosh needs to go to the floor and insult all of the different races in the crowd (seriously), including saying “and we also have our white people!”. Lost gets back in the ring and says Kazarian’s real name is…..Snake Duncan? Apparently he’s going to WWE and they’ll join him there someday. Kazarian says he knows Arrogance likes movie references, so Kazarian references Bosh’s mother having, ahem, relations with various races in HER movies. With that, it’s time to meet Kazarian’s partner.

Tag Team Titles: Arrogance vs. Frankie Kazarian/Joey Ryan

Kazarian and Ryan, the latter dubbed the Homeless Vagabond, are challenging with Ryan making a big return. Before we’re ready to go, Bosh gets in an argument with a mentally challenged fan in the crowd, allowing Excalibur to make fat jokes about Ryan. Bosh steals a large fan’s chair (off camera) as we await the opening bell. Arrogance can’t decide who starts and the referee is getting fed up of this, so commentary makes fun of El Generico.

It’s a brawl to start with Lost spearing Bosh by mistake. Lost gets sent into Bosh in the corner and Kazarian adds a corner dropkick for a bonus. The slingshot dive hits Lost as Ryan seems content to stand on the apron and applaud. Ryan comes in and Lost (Ryan’s former partner) bails in a hurry so Ryan hurricanranas Bosh instead. Bosh gets chopped over and over in the corner and Kazarian’s running neckbreaker gets two.

A missed charge in the corner lets Bosh stomp Kazarian down and Lost comes in to punch Kazarian in the face (as per Bosh’s instructions). Lost’s leg lariat gets two (Bosh: “Good s***.”) and Bosh comes back in, mocks Kazarian’s springboards, and forearms him in the back. A clothesline drives Kazarian’s back onto Lost’s raised knees for no cover, as it’s time to choke on the rope instead. Some loud laughter sets up another forearm to the back, followed by a Tarantula from Bosh.

Lost gets in a rather blatant low blow, as DQ’s apparently don’t count around here. A Stinger Splash (or close to one) connects for Bosh but Kazarian gets in a spinning sunset bomb to get a much needed breather. Ryan comes in and low blows Bosh’s top rope dive out of the air but Lost runs away from the Ryan threat. Lost tries a cheap shot to no effect and it’s Ryan cleaning house on both champs. A slam puts Lost onto Bosh and Kazarian hits a top rope legdrop onto both of them.

It’s back to Kazarian, as Ryan is fine with watching him fight both champs at once. I’m starting to think he’s not the best partner. A Stunner stuns Kazarian into a Rock Bottom into a backbreaker for two. Kazarian is back up with a twisting DDT/swinging Downward Spiral, allowing the tag off to Ryan. Some rolling German suplexes put Bosh down and a fisherman’s suplex gets two. Lost kicks Ryan off the top but Kazarian does the same to Bosh, with the latter falling out to the floor.

Lost dropkicks Kazarian but grabs his knee and falls out to the floor with the referee checking on him. Ryan uses the distraction to grab a chair, which Kazarian takes away in a hurry. Bosh knocks them into each other and BLASTS Ryan in the head with said chair. Since Ryan is who he is, he flicks his head up to check where everything is (of course) and Bosh comes in to get the easy pin to retain at 13:15.

Rating: C+. Ryan looking up at the end made me laugh quite a bit because even when he’s just a guy in tights, he has to do something to take away the realism. The match was fine enough, but it wasn’t anything that hasn’t been done better. Maybe knowing and seeing more of the backstory would help, but Ryan was just a guy in tights here, which I’ll take over the more famous persona. Just….stop doing stupid stuff.

Post match Kazarian and some trainers check on Ryan. The fans give Ryan an ovation….and he kicks Kazarian low. Excalibur tries to come in and gets shoved away, so here’s Arrogance to stomp on Kazarian as well. A failed save attempt earns Excalibur his own beating and Ryan grabs the mic. Ryan says Kazarian expects him to be the good guy, and where did that get him? He’s been on his couch eating generic knockoff Cheetos for the last month.

Trying to please the people does him no good because Kazarian cost him a chance to become a champion. The worst thing the people did was like him more than they liked Scott Lost. That caused the problems between Ryan and Lost, who is Ryan’s best friend. The fans don’t think much of the best friend deal and it’s even worse when Ryan apologizes to Lost. Ryan and Lost hug but Kazarian runs back in to chase them off. Not a bad post match angle.

PWG World Title: Super Dragon vs. Kevin Steen

Steen is challenging and jumps Dragon from behind during the entrances. Dragon’s robe is thrown down and Steen tosses him into the chairs. They get inside with Steen hitting a spinwheel kick but it’s too early for the package piledriver. Super Dragon can’t hit a curb stomp but can get a figure four necklock to slow Steen down. A basement dropkick gives Dragon two and some Kawada kicks make it worse.

Dragon grabs a full nelson with his legs, meaning some kicks to the back of the head can rock Steen again. A snapmare gets one on Steen (probably because it was a snapmare) and he grabs the rope to block a Psycho Driver (whatever that is). Dragon sends him outside but misses a flipping suicide dive for a NASTY crash (with the good visual of the fans spreading away). Steen is glad to capitalize on Dragon’s banged up knee but he needs to yell at a fan too.

More yelling at another fan lets Dragon remember what planet he’s on before Steen throws him back in. A missile dropkick gets two on Dragon and Steen puts on his own leg full nelson with kicks to the head. Steen slams him down but stops to yell at the fans again. That means a rather delayed two, followed by a neckbreaker onto the knee for the same. We hit the choking, as Steen is looking great as the cocky heel here. A flipping legdrop gives Steen two more as Excalibur talks about going to a Detroit Pistons game and knee braces called can openers.

Dragon misses a rolling kick into the corner and bangs up the knee all over again. Steen takes too much time AGAIN though and now the rolling kick knocks him out to the floor. The running flip dive connects this time and they’re both down on the floor. Back in and Dragon hits a jumping stomp to the ribs, setting up the curb stomp. The fans want another one but Steen reverses into a small package for two. Another curb stomp gives Dragon two and a top rope backsplash gets the same.

Dragon misses a Cannonball though and Steen hits a great looking moonsault for his own near fall. Excalibur chokes on some water as the dueling chants begin. Steen grabs a slingshot Downward Spiral for a very close two, meaning it’s time for the package piledriver. A quick hurricanrana into a clothesline gives Dragon his own two and they’re both down again.

It’s Dragon up first to miss a top rope stomp, allowing Steen to grab a fisherman’s buster for the next near fall. Steen hits his own curb stomp and a heck of a package piledriver gets two more. That’s the kickout that lets you know Steen isn’t winning, even as Dragon rolls outside. Back in and Steen tries the Psycho Driver (it starts with a torture rack) but Dragon slips out and grabs his own package piledriver to retain at 18:16.

Rating: B. The match was good action with some solid near falls, but at the same time there was very little feeling that Steen was going to win the title. Once Dragon kicked out of the package piledriver, there was no chance whatsoever and it showed badly. Still though, good main event indeed with Steen as a great heel, even though it’s weird seeing a heel coming in at a disadvantage after wrestling a long match earlier tonight.

We’re off the air less than fifteen seconds after the bell and with Excalibur in mid-sentence.

Before we wrap things up, the DVD also includes a set of promos from after (or maybe during) the show.

Excalibur and Disco Machine are furious about their loss but they have fixed their burned bridges. Now Top Gun Talwar and Hook Bomberry have burned their own bridges. Ronin comes in and says they were having a good match and shakes Excalibur’s hand. Excalibur talks about how that is the kind of sportsmanship you want in a professional wrestler. Not anabolic steroids like in Talwar and Bomberry. That’s more fire than I’ve ever heard from Excalibur and it wasn’t bad.

Chris Sabin talks about coming to California and he’s made a name for himself everywhere else. Tonight, he showed why he’s better than everyone else, but that was just step one.

Talwar and Bomberry want to go to Tijuana, kill a hooker, and do cocaine off of her body. Steroids are discussed and apparently Talwar has absorbed title belts. This place is weird. Talwar: “I’m on steroids! I do cocaine! I f*** hookers!”

Joey Ryan talks about how he used to come here every month and wrestle but his fans stole everything from him. They always wanted him to be a nice guy but nice guys finish last. Where did any of that get him? It got him on the shelf for six months.

Chris Bosh and Scott Lost ask for some silence for their shoot interview. Their guest is the handicapped fan from earlier, who explains that he is very smart. He has spent a lot of time online learning about the independent wrestling scene. Bosh doesn’t think much of him so they yell at each other a lot.

The fan turns his back over threats of Bosh exposing himself but is told to sit down. He flips both of them off quite a bit over his DVD choices and then ask him about ask him about his, shall we say, size. The fan lists off various sex acts in regards to Lost and then shouts that Bosh is horny, over and over again. He then howls and leaves to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: B-. One of the criticisms that you hear about PWG is the lack of storylines but that wasn’t the case here at all, with more than enough to keep me into the show and knowing what was going on. That being said, a lot of the wrestling was just ok with the four way and main event being good enough to see. It’s a good enough show and at just a shade over two hours, it’s not something you can complain about all that much. Granted your Ernest tastes may vary, but overall, not bad at all and I could go for more of the company.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – December 30, 2005: Two Things Right

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 30, 2005
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re finally finishing up the year with this one, as the road to the Royal Rumble begins. There are a few things to wrap up first and hopefully we go out with some of them being finished off. I’m not sure what we’ll be covering tonight, but maybe things can work out better than usual for a change. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with Chris Benoit and Booker T.’, on crutches, in Teddy Long’s office. Booker has a knee injury and can’t wrestle in match number five of the best of seven tonight. He’s already up 3-1 though so just make him champion. Long thinks it should be a forfeit, but Booker wants to find a substitute. That’s fine with Benoit, so the series is still on.

Opening sequence.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Matt Hardy

Rematch from the pay per view, with JBL saying he doesn’t have matches anymore but rather only sends messages. Jillian Hall is here with JBL as well. Matt jumps him to start so JBL nails a big boot to cut that off in a hurry. A neckbreaker sets up the elbow drops as it’s almost one sided so far. Another shot to the face sets up a choke on the ropes and a belly to belly suplex to keep Matt down.

There’s a running shoulder as well, allowing Jillian to distract the referee so JBL can take off the buckle pad. Matt uses the delay to send JBL into the buckle for two but JBL puts him on top. Cue the Boogeyman but JBL hits the super fall away slam and the Clothesline From JBL anyway. JBL heads outside to hide behind Jillian though, allowing Boogeyman to throw the worms at her. Instead of fighting, JBL runs into the crowd for the countout.

Rating: D+. JBL was squashing him until the screwy ending because Matt is still in big trouble after Survivor Series. That might be a little harsh, but it’s not like Matt had any major momentum when he came over from Raw. Nothing to the match of course, but at least someone new is getting a push. That has been the case as of late and some of them have been better than others. I’m not exactly thrilled with Boogeyman getting a chance, but maybe it can work.

Orlando Jordan wants to be Booker’s substitute but Sharmell shuts that down by asking how many times Benoit made Jordan tap. Booker tells him to get his heels to clicking. He wants Jordan to dance?

Mexicools vs. The Dicks

Psicosis works on Chad’s arm to start so it’s quickly off to James. That goes badly as well but Chad gets in a cheap shot to take over. Chad’s clothesline gives James two on Psicosis and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry and Psicosis gets over to Super Crazy to pick up the pace. Chad is knocked off the apron and into the lawnmower, so it’s a missile dropkick to James. The moonsault finishes James.

Rating: C-. Speaking of new wrestlers who are worse than others, you have the Dicks. The Mexicools may have a stupid gimmick, but at least they can back it up in the ring. The Dicks….egads man. They’re not a horrible team but what in the world are they supposed to do when their entire existence is built around a joke?

Booker talks Randy Orton into replacing him in the series by asking if taking a whipping from Undertaker is how he wants to end 2005. Orton is in.

We recap Melina’s failed attempts to talk Batista out of the Tag Team Title match and the ensuing title change.

Here’s Melina, flanked by what looks to be a lawyer, for a press conference, with reporters and photographers around one whole side of the ring. Melina can barely say anything here over the Batista chants. She calls herself a role model and says she was recently the victim of a sexual predator.

Yes she flirted with Batista but then it turned into something horrible. Batista used his power as World Champions (Does that include heat vision?) to coerce her into sexual relations and now she knows the truth about him. Melina’s body is her temple, not his for the taking. That is why she is suing him for sexual harassment. Fair enough and while I doubt this goes anywhere major, it fits well for someone like Melina.

Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

Match #5 in the best of seven series with Booker T. up 3-1, meaning he wins the title if Orton wins here. Booker and Sharmell are on commentary, with Booker insisting that his injury is absolutely real. The early Crossface attempt is blocked and Orton rolls outside for an early break.

Back with Orton headlocking Benoit on the mat before sending him shoulder first into the buckle. Booker continues the longest sentence ever until Orton gets two off a suplex. Benoit is right back with an armbar as Sharmell rants about Booker deserving the title already. A headlock has Orton in trouble so the announcers compare the series to a football comeback.

Orton powers up and sends Benoit over the top for a crash and the brawl heads to the floor. Benoit gets belly to back suplexed onto the barricade so we can hit the chinlock back inside. That’s broken up after a decent while but Benoit still can’t get the Crossface. We take another break and come back with Benoit going shoulder first into the post so the armbar can go on.

Benoit hits an enziguri for the double knockdown and then grabs Three Amigos for the extended knockdown. The Swan Dive misses and you can hear Booker’s relief. Benoit loads up the Sharpshooter so here’s Sharmell with the crutch for the DQ. Booker: “A fan just ran into the ring!”

Rating: B-. This was picking up a lot near the end but it needed to lose about five minutes in the middle. It doesn’t help that the ending doesn’t make a ton of sense. Why would you have Sharmell come in for the DQ if there was even the slightest chance that Orton could have survived? If he taps or if Sharmell comes in, the result is the same, so why not take your chances for the title?

Post match Benoit chases off Booker and Sharmell but walks into the RKO.

Funaki brings Cruiserweight Champion Kid Kash out to the platform (which still exists) for a chat. Kash brags about being a great champion but the fans don’t like him because he beat a nothing champion. Funaki: “WHAT IS A JUVENTUD???” Apparently he looked it up and it’s a Mexican salamander. Kash wants to know why everyone around here is foreign, including sushi boy. Funaki doesn’t know what to say so Kash brainbusters him on the platform. For some reason I remember seeing this one as it aired, even though it’s nothing all that impressive.

Finlay is coming soon. Cool.

The trailer for Kane’s new movie See No Evil is out next week!

Sylvan doesn’t like being in this ugly city for the new year so he has a resolution for the people here: they need to appreciate him, because he’s handsome.

Bobby Lashley vs. Sylvan

Sylvan jumps him to start and is quickly knocked outside. Back in and Sylvan slugs away, only to get suplexed right back down. A right hand sends Sylvan to the floor and he’s done because you don’t touch his face.

Batista isn’t worried about Melina because it’s about retaining the Tag Team Titles.

We look at Melina’s announcement again.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Batista/Rey Mysterio

MNM is challenging and the distressed Melina is with them. Mercury and Mysterio start things off and a Nitro distraction completely fails, allowing Rey to hit a dropkick for two. Batista comes in to double clothesline the two of them in the corner and it’s back to Rey for two off the springboard splash.

We take a break and come back with Mercury being sent face first into the corner but managing to drag Rey into the corner. That’s fine with Rey, who spins around into a headscissors on Nitro. Rey loads up a springboard but gets superkicked outside, where Mercury works on the knee.

Back in and Nitro cranks on the knee as well, setting up a double legdrop for two. We go old schoolish with the Brock Lock for all of five seconds before Mercury goes to more of a standard leglock. The knee gets wrapped around the ropes and Nitro takes some imaginary pictures. There’s another stomp to the knee but Rey manages to jump over Mercury. A DDT plants Nitro and the diving tag brings Batista back in.

House is cleaned in a hurry but Mercury breaks up the Batista Bomb. Rey hurricanranas Mercury into the corner but the referee is bumped. Cue the returning Mark Henry (out since February 2004) for the gorilla press into the yet to be named World’s Strongest Slam. Mercury comes back in to steal the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. There’s a lot to unpack here and I wouldn’t have bet on that coming in. First of all, at least the titles are back where they belong after Rey and Batista got done borrowing them for their champions vs. champions match. It wasn’t hard to see that coming and that’s not a bad thing. On the opposite end, it was very hard to see Henry coming in as Batista just stood up and then got jumped. They did that well and I like it better than watching Henry come down the aisle. Finally, it’s about time someone came after Batista alone, as he hasn’t defended the title on TV since No Mercy on October 9. Pick up the pace champ.

Overall Rating: C-. The ending helped a bit but this was a pretty lackluster match outside of that angle and Benoit vs. Orton. Then again it’s the end of the year and they don’t have anything going on until they need to get ready for the Rumble so I’ll take the one angle at the end over nothing. Not terrible, but a rather skippable show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – December 26, 2005: This Is Going To Be A Big One

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 26, 2005
Location: Harbor Yard Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman

We’re closing out the Raw side of 2005 with this and that could might not be the best news. With less than two weeks to go before New Year’s Revolution, it’s time to build up what is left of the card aside from the Elimination Chamber main event. I’m not sure what that is going to entail but we should be in for something here. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon welcomes us to the show and promises to continue the General Manager hunt. Also tonight, a Beat the Clock Challenge between the six Elimination Chamber participants, with the winner getting to enter last. Finally, tonight Vince will be reviewing the new Bret Hart DVD and then giving his candid comments in the arena. There is no way this can end well.

Opening sequence.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Shawn Michaels vs. Snitsky

Shawn starts fast and tries a sunset flip but has to avoid the right hand. One heck of a clothesline drops Shawn though and Snitsky drives him into the corner. The side slam gets two and it’s time to head outside. A ram into the apron stays on the back and Snitsky drops some elbows for two.

The bearhug is broken up in a hurry and Shawn chops away, followed by the flying forearm. Another clothesline gives Snitsky another two but the superplex is broken up. There’s the top rope elbow but Snitsky kicks him in the face to break up Sweet Chin Music. The second attempt works just fine though and Snitsky is done at 5:56 to set the time.

Rating: C-. It’s kind of amazing how many times Shawn gets a good match out of a hopeless goof like Snitsky. They told a simple story here and the match worked just fine as a result. It wasn’t about Shawn possibly losing, but rather giving Shawn an obstacle to overcome to get the win. The time adds an additional element and they had a nice enough time as a result.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge with Ric Flair as the special guest again. This time though, it’s a picture of Flair with a moving mouth. The voice (which sounds a heck of a lot like Matt Striker) asks where the Horsemen are and goes on a rant about how awesome he is. Edge talks about Flair stealing everything from him but Flair talks about being big from Ashton Kutcher to Abdullah the Butcher.

The road rage incident is brought up and Flair says he pretended that it was Edge and beat him up….then he got arrested. Edge promises to win the World Title and hold it longer than all sixteen of Flair’s reigns combined. Cue the real Flair to get rid of Edge without much effort.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Chris Masters vs. Chavo Guerrero

The time is set at 5:56. Chavo dodges a bit to start and tags him in the jaw before bailing out to the floor to kill some clock. Back in and a dropkick puts Masters on the floor but he drives Chavo back first into the apron. The Masterlock doesn’t work so Masters goes with a fall away slam for two. With two minutes left, Masters starts in on the back but still can’t get the Masterlock. Chavo gets two off a victory roll but the tornado DDT is countered. Masters grabs the Masterlock but Chavo survives.

Rating: D+. This one didn’t work as well, mainly because Masters just isn’t very good. There is only so much that you can get out of a musclebound lug like him but at least he’s slowly getting a bit better. The problem is how limited he is with his one dimensional offense. Chavo tried, but he’s not quite Shawn. To be fair though, who is?

Post match, Masters says the clock was fast, and promises to become the new WWE Champion at New Year’s Resolution. Chavo dropkicks him to the floor for not knowing the name of the pay per view.

Kurt Angle rants about how bad Tribute to the Troops was because the troops want praise for building some schools. There hasn’t been a draft since Vietnam so they all volunteered for this. They chose to leave so he doesn’t want to hear about all of their sacrifices.

Torrie Wilson is in Vince’s office and Vince thinks the dog wants to be GM. Todd Grisham comes in and Vince wants him to tell Flair that he’s defending the Intercontinental Title against Edge at New Year’s Revolution. Also, Todd interviewed Bret Hart a few weeks ago on Byte This. Vince: “Do you think I could take him?” Todd immediately agrees and Vince says he has a future around here. Todd leaves and Vince tells Torrie he loves playing with puppies. Shockingly enough, Torrie looks like she’s about to be sick.

Mickie James is very happy to get to spend Christmas with Trish Stratus and is even happier to get a title shot at the pay per view. There’s mistletoe above them so Mickie kisses her, freaking Trish out. Trish leaves in a hurry and Mickie is upset.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Kurt Angle vs. Daivari

The time is set at 5:56. Daivari lays down but the referee won’t count the three. He even shoves the referee so the chase is on throughout the crowd. The referee gets back in and that’s a countout in less than a minute and a half.

Post match, the referee runs again to avoid a bad case of dismemberment.

It’s time for a contract signing between Big Show and HHH. Big Show throws his chair away and signs in a hurry. HHH takes off his jacket but won’t sign. Instead he talks about how Show has been talking about him for weeks now. Show wants to screw HHH out of his title shot because Show has had everything handed to him over the years.

HHH worked his way to the top while Show bulldozed his way through everything. The only thing different about Show is that he’s tall. He’s an over inflated basketball player but Show says there’s no backup here. HHH: “I don’t need any backup for you fat boy.” The pen goes into Show’s eye and HHH pulls the sledgehammer out from under the table. Show’s hand is crushed and now HHH signs.

Beat The Clock Challenge: John Cena vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title and the time is set at 5:56. A very early FU attempt is countered and Shelton hits a springboard armdrag. Cena still can’t hit the FU so he tries a suplex, only to be reversed into a neckbreaker for two. An elbow drop gets two more but Shelton is back with the crossbody for the same. Shelton grabs a spinebuster for two as the fans are split (it’s almost strange hearing anything other than CENA SUCKS after LET’S GO CENA). The sleeper keeps Cena down with 1:30 left on the clock.

Cena fights up with a weak version of the ProtoBomb and the fisherman’s suplex gets two. The FU is loaded up but Shelton grabs the rope as the time expires. Unlike Masters though, this match continues as they head outside, where the Dragon Whip only hits post. Back in and Shelton pokes him in the eye, only to have Cena pick him up for the FU. The STFU makes Shelton tap in a hurry.

Rating: C. The clock being a focus can take away from some of the individual matches, though it still makes for a good focal point of the entire show. Shelton poking the eye is an interesting twist, as they have been teasing a heel turn for him for a long time now. The match wasn’t bad at all, but it does make me wonder what these two could do in a longer form match.

Post match Kurt Angle and Daivari run in for the beatdown but Cena clears house.

Matt Striker wants to be GM and thinks Jonathan and Kurtis should write essays about rules and regulations. Vince: “That makes me want to vomit.” He wants violence so next week it’s Angle vs. Cena in a first blood match.

Carlito gives his own version of A Visit From St. Nicholas (Twas The Night Before Christmas) about spitting apples at people.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Carlito vs. Victoria

The time is set at 5:56. Carlito laughs a lot and gives Victoria a spank to start. A slam puts Victoria down but Torrie and the dog offer a distraction so Victoria can hit Carlito in the knee with the magic wand. That’s enough for Carlito, who Rolls the Dice for the pin at 2:36.

Post match, Carlito spits apple at Victoria.

We recap some of the night and run down New Year’s Revolution.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Kane vs. Heart Throbs

The time is set at 2:36. Kane wins with a double chokeslam at 28 seconds. Well that worked.

Vince watches the Montreal Screwjob and is ready for his live comments.

Here’s Vince to show us a clip of Bret saying he stands by how he acted in Montreal. He understands that Vince what he had to do but history speaks for itself. In an informal poll, Vince asks if he was right or if Bret was wrong. See, that was a trick, just like he tricked Bret that night because he needed something done.

Cue Shawn Michaels, with Vince introducing him as his partner in crime that night. Shawn whispers something in Vince’s ear but Vince says he can say it to everyone. Vince says that whatever Shawn has to say to him, he can say to everyone. Shawn talks about how it has been eight years since that night and while Bret is still not over it, shouldn’t Vince let it go already?

Now Vince is a grandfather and the chairman of a multi million dollar company. Vince doesn’t like that and says that it’s not 1997 anymore and Shawn has nowhere else to go. It’s time to swallow his pride and agree with whatever Vince says. He’s tired of listening to everyone stand up to him so from now on, it’s zero tolerance. Vince goes to leave so Shawn takes his jacket off and stares Vince down to end the show. This is going to be a big one isn’t it?

Overall Rating: C+. I really like these Beat the Clock shows as they tie things together so well. The majority of the show was spent on that one idea and it worked out well enough in the end. The other big angles were the Big Show vs. HHH deal, which is at least something fresh, and the beginnings of Vince vs. Shawn which is….well rather terrifying but you can’t win them all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – December 23, 2005 (Best Of 2005): They Did Something Here

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 23, 2005
Hosts: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the holiday season and since Raw was over in Afghanistan, it’s Best Of time. That’s a good thing for a change as the show could be a nice look back at a hit or miss year. Sometimes you need a little breather and not having a show two days before Christmas should help a bit. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick video package on the year.

Cole and Tazz welcome us to the show and talk about what a great year it was.

We’ll start off with the biggest name around.

From Wrestlemania XXI.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Batista

HHH is defending and has Ric Flair with him, plus Motorhead plays him to the ring, just in case you thought Batista was cooler. I mean, you can barely understand the words because Lemmy butchers it in a great Brutus Beefcake impression but HHH rising up through the stage makes up for it a bit. Batista doesn’t get much of a pop, mainly due to the lack of the famous band performing his music.

The early power lockup lets them drive each other to the ropes but it’s only good for a standoff. They do it again with HHH’s running shoulder having no effect other than waking HHH up a bit. Another shoulder drops Batista but he’s right back up with something close to a powerslam. Batista hits a backdrop, only to have HHH knock him outside to cut the momentum off again.

Flair’s distraction lets HHH send Batista into the steps and Flair gets in some choking with the jacket. Back in and HHH gets two off a suplex, setting up more Flair choking. Whatever emotion the fans had for Batista after that HHH entrance is long gone now as HHH has beaten him down for about seven of the eight minutes the match has been going so far. Batista slugs away but walks into the spinebuster, because of course HHH needs to hit a spinebuster as he dominates Batista in the biggest match of Batista’s career.

A backdrop breaks up the Pedigree attempt but HHH is RIGHT BACK with the facebuster, leaving him on defense for all of three seconds. HHH goes up and gets clotheslined out of the air to no reaction as the fans are gone. They’re smart enough to realize that HHH is going to cut Batista off again and, as expected, Batista charges into a big boot in the corner just a few seconds later. Batista sends HHH over the corner, only to have HHH whip him into the steps.

The Pedigree onto the steps is countered into a catapult into the post and we’ve got some blood. Back in and it’s time to hammer on the cut as the fans finally have something to cheer about. The big running clothesline in the corner rocks HHH and a powerslam gets two as there isn’t quite the energy in the offense that you would expect. It feels like they’re just doing stuff to fill time until the ending instead of of building something up.

Batista sends him outside but goes after Flair, allowing HHH to grab the chair, which hits the referee by mistake. Flair’s belt shot is countered with a spinebuster but HHH’s belt shot gets two. The fans react to the kickout and Batista hits the spinebuster for the big reaction. That’s too much cheering for HHH’s liking so he hits Batista low. Batista blocks the Pedigree with raw power though and hits something like White Noise. The Batista Bomb finally makes Batista champion.

Rating: C. It was miles better than Cena vs. JBL but egads this didn’t do Batista any favors. This was more about giving HHH a big sendoff as champion than making Batista look like a star and….I can’t say I’m surprised. Batista has looked so dominant and smart for the last six weeks that HHH probably couldn’t help himself from cutting him off. HHH did put him over, but it could have been a lot stronger without HHH beating him up and outsmarting him for the first half of the match. Much like the previous match though, it’s all about what comes next rather than what happened here, but HHH made sure to make himself look good.

We take a quick look at JBL’s Celebration of Excellence on February 24.

From April 28.

Booker T. vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Kurt Angle

Elimination rules for the #1 contendership and Orlando Jordan is here with JBL. Angle already has the straps down so you know this is serious. The brawl is on in a hurry to start with Show cleaning house, even knocking away a German suplex attempt. A legdrop crushes JBL and sends Booker flying off a toss. Show crushes all three of them in the corner but Angle pops out with an Angle Slam for one.

Booker adds the ax kick for two and the Clothesline From JBL gets the same. They knock Show outside for the huge Angle Slam through the table….and a countout for the elimination. In a four way? That’s a creative way to get rid of him, even if it goes against the general rules of the match. We take a break and come back with Booker fighting out of the corner but crotching himself off a missed sidekick.

A whip into the steps slows JBL down and Angle suplexes Booker for two. JBL comes back in and walks into a Book End for two but Angle is right back with the rolling German suplexes for the same on Booker. Neither the Angle Slam or the Book End can connect so Angle picks the ankle. That’s broken up as well so Angle hits the Slam for two more. Booker’s superkick gets his own near fall as Jordan slides in a chair. That earns him an ejection and the distraction lets Angle chair Booker in the head for the second elimination to get us down to one on one.

We take another break and come back with JBL slightly cut open and Angle fighting out of a chinlock. The ankle lock goes on but gets broken up just as quickly and there’s the fall away slam. The Clothesline hits the referee though, just as Angle gets the ankle lock. JBL calls out the Bashams for the save so it’s a bunch of suplexes all around. That includes some rolling German suplexes to JBL and the ankle lock gets the tap, which no one sees. Cue Booker to chair Angle down, allowing JBL to steal the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. Booker vs. Angle made this work rather well, even when the ending was as obvious as you could have gotten. They have made no secret about the fact that this was JBL’s win the entire way and that’s fine. It makes the most sense and you can have the other three get title shots later on if they want to. Not a great match, but it got around the clear finish and that’s kind of hard to do.

Long video on Tribute to the Troops.

From January 6.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Fallout from last week’s Tag Team Title match. Rey brings out the 619 Cam but Eddie steals it for some filming of guest timekeeper Joy Giovanni. We get started with Rey snapping off a headscissors but getting caught in a test of strength. That’s broken up with Rey climbing onto Eddie’s back for two off a sunset flip, meaning it’s an early standoff. Back up and it’s another headscissors to rattle Eddie some more.

Rey charges again but this time he gets faceplanted down, setting up an armbar on the right (not left Cole) arm. The hammerlock goes on for a good bit until Rey makes the rope, with Eddie not letting go immediately. Rey tries a moonsault but gets caught in the Tree of Woe for a dropkick to the ribs. Eddie misses a charge though and crotches himself against the post as we take a break.

Back with Rey holding something like an abdominal stretch on the mat before switching to an armbar. An exchange of sleepers goes to Rey, followed by a springboard armdrag. Rey gets two off a Lionsault and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up so Rey dropkicks him into the ropes, only to miss the 619. Eddie chills in the corner so Rey tries a Bronco Buster, which is blocked with a raised boot.

It was NOT a low blow though (Eddie promises) so Rey takes him up top but the hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb. A missed charge bumps the referee though and Eddie has an idea. It’s the old grab the title spot so he throws it to Rey….who throws it right back and drops down as the referee gets up.

Eddie crawls around on his stomach to hide the title and INSISTS that he did not use the belt. He tries to crawl over and throw it away but gets caught, giving us a hilarious look on his face. Rey cracks up and Eddie tries to convince the referee that it means Rey did it. That’s almost a double DQ but Eddie’s begging keeps the match going….and lets Rey small package him for the pin.

Rating: B-. Well of course these two had a fun match, but the ending was hysterical with Eddie going so over the top when he had no idea what to do in the situation. His NO and HE’S LAUGHING got some actual laughter and they did it for the right reason. How often do you get that in wrestling?

Cole and Tazz talk about how they will miss Eddie.

We get the Here Without You video on Eddie, which is still incredible.

Video on the Boogeyman.

Video on the new talent who came to the show this year.

We look at Chris Benoit winning the US Title in less than thirty seconds at Summerslam.

Cole and Tazz talk about Booker vs. Benoit, with Cole referring to Sharmell as Booker’s “Lovely wife I guess you’d call her.” Tazz: “It is his wife.”

From October 21, 2005.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Booker T.

Benoit is defending and Sharmell is here with Booker. They fight over a lockup to start and it’s a clean break in the corner. Booker actually wrestles him down but Benoit slips out and catches him with a hiptoss. Back up and Benoit’s hammerlock doesn’t get him far as they go into the corner for some chops. Booker misses the side kick though and crashes out to the floor, only to avoid Benoit’s dive to send him into the announcers’ table.

Back from a break with Booker holding a chinlock and whipping him hard into the corner for two. The chinlock goes on again so Benoit fights up again and hits a running forearm for two of his own. It’s time to roll the German suplexes to freak Sharmell out again. The Swan Dive gives Benoit two but Booker is back up with a kick to the face. That lets him head up top but Benoit superplexes him down, albeit with a slip on the way. The referee checks on Booker, allowing Sharmell to hit him low. Booker nails the ax kick for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. It’s the expected good match between these two, though the Sharmell stuff was as annoying as ever. She’s a heel, but she’s the kind of heel where she’s more pesky than evil. Benoit feels like a transitional champion as he spent most of his reign beating up Orlando Jordan in thirty seconds so the loss doesn’t mean much. At least Sharmell will have something else to complain about now.

We recap Sharmell yelling at Booker to motivate him, setting up the heel turn and US Title win.

From Survivor Series.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Shawn Michaels, Kane, Big Show, Carlito, Chris Masters

Smackdown: Batista, Bobby Lashley, John Bradshaw Layfield, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio

Entrances take forever of course and Rey gets some very loud EDDIE chants. Orton takes Shawn into the corner to start and then does it again for a bonus. Shawn gets in a whip to the other corner to set up some chops as commentary is already bickering. Orton gets in a slam but misses the knee drop so it’s off to Masters. The knee the face works fine on him but it’s quickly off to Lashley, who tosses Masters around.

Carlito gets the tag so Lashley pulls him in and hits a running powerslam for two. It’s back to Shawn, who gets knocked down as well. There’s the Dominator to Carlito but Kane saves Shawn from the same fate. A Kane chokeslam from the apron lets Shawn get rid of Lashley, who wasn’t nearly the factor you would have bet on after the last few weeks. Rey comes in and dropkicks Shawn in the knee as Cole says he’d love to see this dream match. I know he has a short attention span but he can’t remember something from less than two weeks ago?

Kane comes in and gets dropkicked down but is right back up for a big boot. A backbreaker gets two on Rey and we hit the backbreaker. Rey fights out in a hurry though and it’s off to Batista for the shoulders in the corner. A spear into the spinebuster gets rid of Kane but here’s Show for an immediate chokeslam. That’s good for two but Kane is back up for a double chokeslam to get rid of Batista. JBL’s middle rope shoulder is pulled out of the air by Big Show but Orton snaps his throat across the top.

The Clothesline From JBL into the 619 into the RKO into another Clothesline From JBL into the springboard seated senton FINALLY gets rid of Big Show and we’re down to 3-3. Everything breaks down and JBL hits Shawn with a fall away slam on the floor as Masters plants Rey. Carlito comes in for a legdrop and the chinlock goes on. Rey fights up and gets a blind tag from JBL, who blasts Carlito with the Clothesline for the pin.

Masters comes in next and gets hammered down as Shawn is still out on the floor. Rey comes back in and avoids a charge into the post, setting up the 619. Dropping the Dime gets rid of Masters and it’s down to Shawn vs. Orton/Mysterio/JBL. Rey throws Shawn back in and hits the 619 but the West Coast Pop is Sweet Chin Musiced out of the air for the pin. JBL tries the Clothesline but Shawn ducks and superkicks him out for the back to back pins in about fifteen seconds.

That leaves us with Shawn vs. Orton but neither finisher can hit. Orton bails to the floor so Shawn hits a slingshot dive as the fans want Undertaker. Back in and Shawn hits the forearm into the nipup but JBL is still here and brings in a chair. That earns him another superkick but Shawn walks into the RKO for the final pin.

Rating: B. This was good enough and was absolutely the main event of the show. Even though this was for completely meaningless bragging rights, it worked this time because that was something fresh. It’s the difference between doing it once and doing it every year: this time felt like they had built something up instead of throwing it out there because it was November. It also helps when you have Shawn at his best playing the underdog and Orton being great at this match. This nearly identical formula worked in 2003 and it worked here too.

Post match the Smackdown locker room comes in to celebrate….and we’ve got druids. They bring out a casket and stand it upright as the gong hits. Lightning strikes the casket and it is lit on fire, with Undertaker walking out. Undertaker destroys the roster as the Ortons get to the outside. The big staredown with the throat slit ends the show.

Quick look at Undertaker vs. Randy Orton, including the Cell match.

Cole and Tazz wrap it up.

Overall Rating: C+. They did a nice job of looking at the high points of the year, which is hard to do in the course of an hour. Of course they had to leave some stuff out (like John Cena being the star of the show for about five months) but they hit the big stuff and that’s what they should be trying for with something like this. 2005 wasn’t a great year, but they made it look good enough so well done.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – December 19, 2005 (2020 Redo): These Still Work

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 19, 2005
Location: Bagram Air Force Base, Bagram, Afghanistan
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles

We pause to go overseas for Tribute to the Troops, which felt a lot more special when they actually went to the troops. None of the storyline stuff here is going to matter whatsoever and that’s not the point of the show. This is going to be a bunch of fast paced stuff and thanking the troops. There’s nothing wrong with that so the quality of the wrestling isn’t what matters this week. Let’s get to it.

The troops rush into the makeshift arena.

We get a video on the history of entertaining the troops and how special this show is.

Here’s Vince McMahon to open things up (Lawler: “He’s like our five star general.”) and he’s got a big promise: Santa Claus himself is making a special trip here, but he’s not sure what to get everyone for Christmas. Santa doesn’t know what to tell the negative media types back home who have forgotten about the soldiers here. That story is one with a happy ending because the armed forces get the job done. He has an idea of what they should do though and brings out military brat Lilian Garcia to sing the National Anthem (and certainly admires the barely existing outfit).

WWE had to stop at a base in Germany on the way here and met some troops at a medical hospital.

Carlito vs. Big Show

Carlito hides to start but manages to snap Show’s throat across the top rope. Some left hands don’t do much and it’s the chokeslam to finish Carlito in just over a minute.

Post match Show celebrates with the troops. Just assume that takes place after every match.

We look at the troops having to be worried about mines, some of which had to be destroyed with C4 (Spanish Fly, same thing).

Jonathan Coachman is in the ring and introduces Santa Claus, who isn’t fat and is in military gear instead of the red suit. He also seems to be John Bradshaw Layfield, who talks about knowing Vince since he was a little evil boy. Vince is wrong about the world forgetting about their troops, because the reality is no one cares. If this place was any better, it would suck. There was NO Dom Perignon for his reindeer and it might as well be called Rehabistan.

As a result, Santa is skipping Afghanistan next year and is canceling Cinco de Mayo, Oktoberfest, Arbor, St. Patrick’s Day, Bastille Day and everything else. Oh and no leave for the troops! He’s going back home to cold beer….but we’ve got another Santa, who is rather large and in the red and white. This one says he’ll be delivering presents RIGHT HERE in Afghanistan but the other one says the only ho-ho-hos around here are the Divas. The red Santa wants a No Ho-Ho-Holds Barred match to settle this once and for all.

Good Santa vs. Bad Santa

Bad Santa hammers away to start so Good Santa hits him with the sack of toys. The pillow comes out of Good Santa’s shirt (that’s a relief as even Mick isn’t that big) but since it’s a pillow, it doesn’t do much damage. A big boot drops Good Santa instead but the Clothesline From Bad Santa misses and it’s the double arm DDT. The Mandible Claw is good for the fast pin.

John Cena and Trish Stratus had a quick press conference and met some troops.

MSNBC was here too and interviewed some troops. They’re still looking for Osama Bin Laden.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Snitsky

Snitsky shoves him in the face to start and knocks him down without much effort. The turnbuckle pad is ripped off but Shelton slugs away and hits a running forearm. The top rope clothesline connects but the Stinger Splash hits the buckle. A big boot gives Snitsky the pin. Shelton can’t even win HERE?

We look at a hut that has been turned into a makeshift coffee bar.

John Cena vs. Chris Masters

Non-title. Cena grabs a headlock to start as the announcers talk about the great strides democracy has been making in Afghanistan. Masters runs him over with a shoulder but Cena is right back with a front facelock. Back up and Masters pounds him down with a front facelock of his own. The Masterlock doesn’t quite work and Masters’ middle rope fist drop misses. Cena initiates the finishing sequence and it’s the Shuffle into the AA for the pin.

Rating: C. Yeah this was fine as Cena gets to beat up a muscleheaded heel. It’s not like Masters loses anything by getting beaten by the champ here as the show exists in its own continuity. That and it’s not like anyone believed he had a real chance to win the title in the Chamber anyway. I’m not entirely sure why it was non-title but it doesn’t really matter.

More clips of wrestlers meeting the troops.

Coach brings out Ric Flair, who is rather well received. Coach calls this Flair’s farewell tour because HHH beat him down at Survivor Series. Even Coach could beat him right now so let’s do it for the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Jonathan Coachman vs. Ric Flair

Flair is defending and takes Coach into the corner without much effort to start. A back elbow staggers Flair and Coach gets to take off the shirt (King: “Oh no, he’s exposing his body!”). Flair comes back with the chops and a low blow, followed by the Figure Four to retain in a hurry.

More clips of the troops, including an explanation from future United States Senator Martha McSally, and the wrestlers talking about how awesome this is.

Candice Michelle to keep Maria from going into an area that hasn’t been cleared for mines.

Candice Michelle/Maria vs. Trish Stratus/Ashley Massaro

The women are attired as you would expect them to be. Ashley and Maria start things off with Maria celebrating an early takedown. Candice comes in and wants Trish but it’s already time for the stalling on the floor. Actually make that body surfing and then the Go Daddy dance. Trish shoves her to the floor and lays on the ropes before accidentally headscissoring the referee. Maria is too busy posing on the apron to take the tag so Trish headscissors Candice this time. Ashley comes back in for a double elbow but Candice rolls her up and grabs….whatever you call what Ashley is wearing for the pin.

Rating: D+. There might have been something other than the wrestling here and that’s fine given the situation. The women were there for one purpose here and it worked well enough. The soldiers liked it and that’s all they were going for here. Again though, kind of weird to have the heels win but it doesn’t exactly matter.

More troops tell stories.

We look at the arena being built.

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Boot Camp match, meaning military themed street fight. Shawn is in fatigues to add some flavor. HHH runs him over to start so Shawn armdrags him into an armbar. A backslide gives Shawn two and it’s the armbar going on again. HHH shoulders him to the floor though and we take a break. Back with Shawn getting knocked outside again so they fight up to the entrance.

The Pedigree on the stage is broken up so Shawn hits him with a sandbag. HHH comes back with a gas can to the head and they head back inside. This time HHH gets whipped over the corner and they fall outside, with Shawn hitting him with a mop. That earns Shawn a posting but the referee gets bumped. There’s no one to count after a DDT so here’s a second referee for the delayed two.

The second referee points to the Army patch on his arm, earning him a salute….and a right hand. HHH dives onto a raised boot though and the comeback is on, including the forearm into the nipup. There’s the elbow but Sweet Chin Music is countered. So is the Pedigree though and it’s a catapult into the corner into the superkick for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was the only match that was treated seriously all night and that’s easy to understand. These two know each other so well that they could have a competent match without trying and that’s probably what they did here. You can imagine how many times they probably did something like this at a house show so doing it here with a bit of a theme is a good way to go out.

One more big video ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. These shows are similar to Year In Review shows as I never know how to rate them. The wrestling is completely not the point and it’s a bunch of clips of the wrestlers interacting with the troops. That being said, it’s an easy show to watch and a lot of the footage is cool so it’s not something that deserves any real complaints. If nothing else, it’s nice to see WWE putting in this much effort. While they get a lot of good publicity, they do something to earn it and that makes it better. Fine show, as usual in the old days.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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