IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: August 11, 2005
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re less than two weeks away from Summerslam and the card seems to be set on both sides. This time around we need to build more towards the lower half of the card as Randy Orton vs. Undertaker and the World Title match are mostly set. I’m not sure what that is going to mean for tonight though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Booker T. vs. Joey Mercury

Fallout from last week where Mercury stole a pin on Booker in a tag match. Sharmell is here with Booker while Melina, Nitro and Jillian Hall are here with Mercury. An early Jillian distraction lets Nitro get in a cheap shot so that’s an early double ejection of both Nitro and Hall. Booker hammers away to start and hits an elbow and kick to the jaw.

Mercury is back with a knee to the ribs and a clothesline to set up the chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry as Booker strikes away even more, setting up a side slam for two. The flapjack into the Spinarooni into the Book End looks to finish but we need a catfight on the floor. Mercury’s rollup gets two so it’s the ax kick to give Booker the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a match here with Booker not exactly breaking a sweat against Mercury. That being said, it’s not like Mercury is supposed to be much on his own, hence the whole team aspect. Booker is a much bigger star and we might see a Tag Team Title match at some point, assuming Booker and Benoit are still partners.

It’s time for the Peep Show with a rather awesome set, including an inflatable flame chair. Christian wastes no time in bringing out Batista as this week’s guest and the fans are rather pleased. Christian can’t believe that he, the biggest Draft pick, isn’t on Summerslam. Batista certainly is though and we hear about the match with JBL.

That’s not cool with Christian, so he’s going to be beating Batista tonight. Batista: “Are you talking to me?” Christian freaks out so Batista takes the mic and says Christian needs an attitude adjustment. The fans seem interested though and the match is made. Better than more of Batista trying to make me interested in another match against JBL.

Heidenreich/Animal vs. Scotty Sabre/Jason Static

Non-title. Heidenreich and Animal jump them before the bell and the beatdown is on in a hurry. A Boss Man Slam hits Sabre so it’s off to Static, who gets his head knocked off by Animal’s clothesline. The powerslam into the Doomsday Device finishes in a hurry.

The Mysterios arrived earlier.

We recap last week’s announcement of Eddie Guerrero wanting custody of Rey Mysterio’s son Dominic.

Randy Orton is returning to the ring tonight and demands to know his opponent. Theodore Long says Orton can find out in the ring. All Orton can know is that it’s a legendary opponent of the Undertaker.

Randy Orton vs. ???

The opponent is…..Kamala, with Kim Chee. Was Damien Demento not available? Kamala slaps his stomach a lot and chops away, followed by more belly slapping. Orton gets in some right hands and a dropkick puts Kamala down. Kim Chee gets on the apron as Orton cranks on the neck. A knee drop gets two and Orton brings Kim Chee inside for an RKO. That fires Kamala up so Orton pokes him in the eye and hits the RKO…as the lights go out. We’ll say that’s the no contest.

Rating: D. Yeah what else were you expecting here? Kamala was 55 at this point and wasn’t exactly someone you expected to win a big match at this best. It was fine as a way to get to the post match stuff and it worked out just fine. The match itself was nothing of course and the setup with Undertaker was all that mattered.

Post match the blue lights come on and the ring fills with smoke. Nothing is said, but it’s a cool visual.

A woman from child protective services is here to observe Eddie and Dominic to decide what is best for tonight. Eddie says he’ll she her what is going on.

Here are Eddie and the social worker, who looks rather intimidated to be in a big arena. After getting the social worker’s name wrong, Eddie talks about wanting to bring Dominic into a home full of….compassion and…..honesty and truth, all of which aren’t the easiest things for him to say. The Mysterios come out and Eddie drops to his knees as Dominic looks confused (as usual).

Eddie blames the Mysterios as the social worker takes notes. With Dominic not coming to him, Eddie gets in Rey’s face and says no one beats him. Rey doesn’t quite agree but Dominic hasn’t spoken a word since Eddie’s story last week. Eddie has beaten everything, including addiction, but he can’t beat Rey. Even when Eddie gets inducted into the Hall of Fame, his plaque will say he couldn’t beat Rey Mysterio.

So the solution is clear: they need to have a match for the custody of Dominic at Summerslam. Eddie doesn’t think so, but Rey calling him a chicken****. Eddie finally agrees and says Dominic comes home with him tonight. Social worker: “Are you kidding me? You people are a bunch of crazies!” Until Summerslam, Dominic is going into foster care. Rey tells him it’s going to be ok and Eddie promises Dominic that the nightmare ends at Summerslam. This went over twenty minutes but the social’s worker’s response was funny and it gave us one of the most infamous match stipulations ever so I can live with it.

Mexicools vs. William Regal/Scotty 2 Hotty

Earlier today, Regal was disturbed by the idea of Scotty’s Worm. Scotty and Crazy start things off with Scotty running him over. A cheap shot from the floor lets Juvy (not in the match) get in some cheap shots though and it’s Crazy hitting a running dropkick. Psicosis comes in with a legdrop for a delayed cover, though he already made a tag for a rather confusing choice of actions. Scotty fights up but Regal drops to the floor instead of accepting a tag, meaning it’s handicap time. Crazy knocks Scotty down and Psicosis’ guillotine legdrop is good for the pin.

Rating: D. Another match designed to be about the angle instead of the match and….do they think I’m going to be interested in Regal turning on Scotty in a match with the Mexicools? I know you have to have some lower level stories but coming up with some more interesting people shouldn’t be that difficult.

Rey and his wife Angie are in tears.

Jillian Hall challenges Booker and Sharmell to a mixed tag against Mercury and Melina. And don’t look at her blemish.

Here’s John Cena’s new music video.

Chris Benoit vs. Simon Dean

Dean calls Benoit a flabby wolverine and the beating is on in a hurry. A few forearms to the back and a clothesline get Dean out of trouble. The front facelock goes on with Dean firing off some knees to the face so Benoit rolls the German suplexes. Three in a row set up the Crossface for the fast tap. Just a step above a squash.

Christian vs. Batista

Non-title. The trash talk is on in a hurry so Batista tells him to bring it on. Christian tries to shove him away from a lockup and is launched into the ropes for his efforts. Some rams into the corner have Christian’s face in some pain and his sunset flip attempt just annoys Batista. A backdrop puts Christian on the floor and a right hand drops him again. Back in and Batista gets sent shoulder first into the post, meaning it’s time for the armbar. Batista powers out of that as well and hits a super backdrop, setting up the shoulders in the corner. There’s the spinebuster but JBL comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was too short to mean anything but there could have been a nice match in there if they had some more time. What we got was watchable enough though as Batista is getting into the groove of being the top dog. It’s very good that he’s gotten away from HHH for a change though as that was only going to let him get so far. Christian continues to look like a star in the making and at least he didn’t get pinned when he didn’t have to.

Post match Christian offers a distraction and JBL gets in a chair shot to the head. A bunch of chair shots to the back keep Batista down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. As was mentioned more than once, this wasn’t a show built around adding anything major to Summerslam. The show is set and all we needed was some finalizing of details (you knew Eddie vs. Rey was coming and this just made it official). The build was mostly good, though that Eddie vs. Rey promo could have been cut down by a good bit. The problem is that while it did some good things, it wasn’t in the most interesting way and that brought it down a lot. Not a very good show, but at least it got some things done in a bit of a different way.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 8, 2005
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re less than two weeks away from Summerslam and the card is looking decent at best. You can see most of if not all of the card, but at the same time they have a few things left to set up or at least push. If nothing else, we need Hulk Hogan to actually respond to Shawn Michaels and that is going to take place tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Eric Bischoff trying to stack the deck to get the World Title off of John Cena last week, complete with Carlito and Chris Jericho managing to pull defeat out of the jaws of victory. Jericho did manage to bust Cena open and steal the title though, in a move that almost always works.

Opening sequence.

Here are Eugene and Christy Hemme for the Gold Medal Invitational, but first Eugene, in a Hulk Hogan shirt, needs to talk about how awesome Hogan is. Christy says this is about Eugene though and does the GIVE ME AN E deal, only to have Kurt Angle interrupt. Angle says he’s the hometown hero this week and he’s getting his medals back.

As you might guess, the fans are not happy with Eugene here and Angle saying Pittsburgh doesn’t need Hulk Hogan when they have him makes it even worse. They even get in an argument over whether or not Eugene is a gold medalist because that’s what these fans want to hear. Eugene isn’t happy with Angle swearing so we start in a hurry.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

Angle kicks him into the corner to start but stops to yell at the referee. A backbreaker gets two on Eugene, who drives Angle into the corner. The referee takes a shot to the back of the head but Eugene says it was Angle and the referee believes him. A shot to the face drops Eugene as we’re already halfway through. Eugene is sent face first into the buckle and that’s enough to fire him up again. Angle grabs the release German suplex to cut that off in a hurry but the Angle Slam is escaped. Instead Angle charges into the referee and that’s a DQ to keep the medal on Eugene.

Post match Angle destroys Eugene but Hogan makes the save, with Angle, the HOMETOWN HERO, getting beaten up again. Who thought this was a good idea? I mean other than Hulk of course. Posing ensues and the fans don’t seem overly interested.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Masters

Lawler and Coach shushing JR during Masters’ entrance works for some reason. Masters grabs a headlock to start so Benjamin takes him down with a dragon screw legwhip. A slam puts Benjamin down but Masters nearly botches the elbow drop as Shelton tries to roll away. The bearhug goes on as JR is sounding a little uncomfortable with how much Lawler and Coach enjoy looking at Masters. Shelton is back with a jawbreaker and running kneelift to set up a high crossbody for two. A sleeper doesn’t work well though as Masters kicks him low, setting up the Masterlock for the win.

Rating: D. I know I bring this up a lot but WHAT HAPPENED TO SHELTON??? He holds the Intercontinental Title for the better part of a year and then he’s putting over everyone on the roster. Unless there was some sort of a backstage issue, I really don’t get the moves here, but it’s rather annoying and frustrating at the same time.

A very pleased Angle leaves Bischoff’s office. He’s got another shot at the medals at Summerslam but there’s no time limit, so Angle can hurt him as much as he wants.

Rob Conway isn’t worried about Viscera and hits on Maria a bit. Viscera comes in and asks Conway if he’s part of the Village People and belts out some YMCA. A brawl nearly starts but Viscera threatens Visagra before leaving. JR: “Is that what you’re taking King?”

We recap Matt Hardy’s invasions, leading to him being rehired last week.

Edge and Lita think rehiring Matt is brilliant because now he can do whatever he wants to Matt at Summerslam. Matt’s promo last week was pathetic because he should have been able to manage so much more after what he had been through. Edge points to his eyes and says this is passion and intensity. Lita left Matt for him after Matt never proposed in six years.

See, Matt should really be thanking Edge because he had never gotten reactions like this until he rode Edge’s coattails into the main event. Edge was facing main eventers while Matt was defending the Cruiserweight Title. Matt is here now because his girlfriend fell in love with a main eventer. We’re thirteen minutes into Matt’s fifteen minutes of fame and time is up at Summerslam. Very intense promo from Edge, whose facials were awesome as usual. I’m not sure how much the average fan is going to care, but it was some great delivery and much more of an insider’s promo than usual.

Rob Conway vs. Viscera

Conway tries some big forearms in the corner to start so Viscera hits the overhand chop to cut that off in a hurry. There’s a swinging Boss Man Slam, allowing Viscera to hit the hip swiveling. Conway dropkicks the knee and drops some elbows on it, only to get pulled into the Visagra. Back up and Viscera tries a slam, only to have the leg give out so Conway can fall on top for the pin. Conway is good in the role but they don’t have long to waste him in matches like this. He doesn’t have a lot of depth to his character and if it’s all stuff against people on Viscera’s level, fans aren’t going to be interested for long.

Hurricane/Rosey/Stacy Keibler vs. Heartthrobs/Victoria

Antonio punches Hurricane in the face to start so Hurricane takes him down with a fireman’s carry. Romeo comes in for a double Russian legsweep and a jumping elbow gets two. The Throbs miss a double dropkick and it’s Rosey coming in to no reaction. Stacy offers a little shake though and everything breaks down, only to have Victoria slam her into the barricade. A double STO finishes Rosey back inside. I know the Tag Team Titles don’t have the best history but this has to be close to the bottom of the whole lineage. They haven’t been defended in weeks and this is practically the whole division.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel, with the pyro seemingly going off later than expected as Jericho gets cut off mid-sentence. His guest this week is Eric Bischoff, who of course is Jericho’s close friend. They shake hands a few times, leaving Bischoff to talk about how Cena’s music career (including his music video premiering tonight) is the only thing he’ll have left after Summerslam.

Jericho has his own music video, showing him beating down Cena last week to Fozzy’s To Kill A Stranger. Bischoff isn’t happy with what happened last week though and that is due to referee Chad Patton, who counted the pin when Jericho was taken out. Patton comes out and gets slapped around by both of them, setting this up.

Chad Patton vs. Chris Jericho

Bischoff is referee and Patton actually drives Jericho into the corner to start before the beating is on. Patton loses most of his shirt and here’s Carlito to make it worse. Jericho chokes away and chops Patton against the ropes, leaving Carlito to get in some shots on the floor. A spinebuster into the Walls make Patton tap, with Bischoff taking his time to call for the bell.

Post match Jericho won’t let go so here’s Cena for the save (including a mistimed flying shoulder to Carlito, which hits him in the knee).

Post break Bischoff makes Cena vs. Carlito/Jericho.

And now, in case this show hasn’t been enough of a waste of time, it’s the Diva Search. We do get some good news: this stupid thing is over next week and Kristal is cut. Earlier today, everyone else had the chance to get the fans’ votes but things weren’t going to go according to plan.

Ashley gave her phone number but took a pie to the face to cut things off.

Leyla was holding up a sign and suggesting she was sans clothing when a pie to the face showed that wasn’t the case.

Elizabeth talked about having the fans’ support and didn’t really stop when the pie hit her.

Matt Hardy vs. Snitsky

Hardy starts slugging away early on and kicks Snitsky in the face for the first knockdown. A spinebuster cuts Hardy off and there’s a clothesline to put him down again. There’s a suplex so Snitsky can beat on his chest, setting up a side slam for two. The pumphandle slam is countered though and Snitsky misses a big boot in the corner, setting up a Twist of Fate out of the corner for the pin.

Rating: D. And that’s it for Matt’s chances at meaning anything as he was just a guy here. He was a bit more aggressive but it’s not like this was any star making performance. The run-ins were good, but I really wouldn’t have had him get in the ring until Summerslam. Not a good match and it killed Hardy’s aura.

Post match Edge runs in to jump Matt but referees break it up.

Post break Matt jumps Edge but gets pulled away again.

Here’s John Cena’s new music video for the song Right Now.

It’s time for the big main event argument as Hulk Hogan and Shawn Michaels go face to face, with Jerry Lawler moderating. Lawler asks if Shawn is jealous but Shawn talks about Hogan being nice enough to show up here for a change. Hogan’s life offers nothing Shawn could want because Hogan can’t touch him in this ring. All of Hogan’s personality means nothing at Summerslam because Hogan can’t hold a candle to him.

Hogan is asked about the Larry King segment but Shawn cuts him off to say that Hogan has to deal with the truth for the first time ever. Shawn is the first person who won’t buckle in front of Hogan because no one is going to fire him. He’s been fired so many times but WWE keeps bringing him back because this place doesn’t exist without him. Hogan finally cuts him off and says Shawn is making this too personal. If Shawn wanted a match, all he had to do was ask. Instead Shawn cheap shotted him, and all Hogan had to do was call Bret Hart to hear about that.

Shawn smiles at that one and promises that Hogan is next. Hogan: “When you left the WWE for seven years, you said it was because you lost your smile.” I’ll let you try to figure out Hogan’s version of history on that one as Hogan talks about being her for the fans’ smiles. He asks Shawn what he’s going to do so Shawn’s shirt comes off…so he can superkick Lawler. The fight with Hogan is on and it’s a big boot so Hogan can throw Shawn outside. A lot of posing ends the show.

The Bret line was good but Shawn is carrying every bit of these promos and the feud as a whole, which is going to make the reactions at Summerslam rather interesting. It’s almost hard to get annoyed at Shawn here as he is saying a lot of things that are very true, but Hogan is going to do his usual stuff at Summerslam and get cheered because he’s Hogan (fair enough). Shawn is the more interesting one here though and that’s making things a little more interesting.

Overall Rating: D-. The interesting thing here was that while the show could have been worse, it felt like a complete waste of time. There are three big Raw matches taking place at Summerslam but how interesting are they going to be? Hardy lost a ton tonight because he was mostly just his old self, Jericho vs. Cena is a lame Austin clone and Shawn vs. Hogan sells itself. The rest of the show was awful and it remains clear that there is nothing outside of the three Summerslam matches going on around here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: August 4, 2005
Location: Harbor Yard Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re two and a half weeks away from Summerslam and things are starting to come together. Last week saw Eddie Guerrero go WAY over the line by telling Rey Mysterio and his son Dominick that Eddie was Dominick’s real father, though he’s not done with his stories. Other than that we’re building towards JBL vs. Batista for the World Title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Eddie/Rey situation from last week. Eddie’s “I LIED” was great.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Rey Mysterio to be the first ever guest on the debut edition of the Peep Show. Christian thinks the appropriate question is who’s your daddy and recaps last week until Rey cuts him off. Rey is here because he wants to fight Eddie right now but Eddie comes up on screen. He has the Eddie’s Bedtime Stories book, plus reading glasses to complete the evil look.

Eddie shows off the new I’M YOUR PAPI shirt and thinks it’s time for Chapter Two. Rey tries to cut him off but Eddie, again being the smartest person on the show, just reads over him. Actually hold on as Eddie changes his mind and decides to finish this later. He’ll finish it by the end of the show. Christian jumps Mysterio from behind and lays him out with the Unprettier.

Jillian Hall explains how much the blemish on her face has hurt her soul. We get a closeup look at it and she asks if it’s oozing. She wants people to look her in the eyes because she has a purpose. Her name is Jillian Hall and she is MNM’s fixer. She walks over to Sharmell and Booker T. (good thing they were standing there) and walks on by, with Booker wanting to make sure he didn’t just see that.

MNM vs. Booker T./Chris Benoit

Booker and Nitro start things off, thankfully cutting off Tazz hammering home the fact that Jillian has a big growth on her face. Nitro’s headlock doesn’t work very well as Booker clotheslines him down for two. Benoit comes in for two off a snap suplex but it’s quickly off to Mercury, who gets chopped down as well. It’s way too early for the Sharpshooter though as Nitro pulls Mercury outside as we take a break.

Back with Booker kicking Nitro in the face for two and a neckbreaker is good for the same. Everything breaks down and Benoit gets to snap off the release German suplexes. A Melina distraction lets Mercury break up a belly to back superplex though and Benoit is in trouble for the first time. Well it’s better than more talking about the blemish, because you might not have gotten the idea just yet.

A running knee in the corner keeps Benoit in trouble and the chinlock goes on. That’s broken up with another German suplex and an enziguri is enough for the hot tag to Booker. The Book End gets two on Nitro with Mercury making the save so Benoit Crossfaces Nitro on the floor as well. Melina breaks up the ax kick so Sharmell starts the catfight, only to have Jillian spear her down. The distraction lets Mercury grab a rollup with ropes for the pin.

Rating: C. The Jillian discussions from Tazz sound like they’re written by a ten year old and they’re getting even worse. It’s a joke that might work once but they’re beating it so far into the ground that it loses whatever impact it might have. MNM getting the next title shot (not official but more than likely) makes the most sense as it’s not like there is a division to speak of at the moment.

Raw Rebound.

Long makes Christian vs. Mysterio for the main event.

We look back at Randy Orton costing Undertaker the #1 contendership last week.

Orton promises to make his intentions clear tonight.

Here’s Long to introduce the contract signing for the World Title match. Batista and JBL come out with the latter saying he’s going to get the title back because he’s the wrestling god. Batista says that’s a wrestling fraud, because JBL keeps taking the easy way out. Long gets them both to sit down for the signing with Batista signing in a hurry. JBL laughs at him for signing without filling in a stipulation. Batista says pick what you want so JBL throws out a bunch of goofy ones before picking No Holds Barred. JBL signs and the match is set.

Animal gives Heidenreich face painting permission.

Summerslam rundown.

Animal/Heidenreich vs. Josh Daniels/Damien Adams

Non-title and Heidenreich now has face paint. Adams’ chops have no effect so it’s the swinging Boss Man Slam and the Doomsday Device for the easy pin.

Here’s Randy Orton for his big explanation. Wrestlemania was supposed to be his night when he beat the Undertaker and killed the ultimate legend. Then fate intervened and stopped him, but last week fate intervened again to stop Undertaker from becoming #1 contender. Now, Orton needs to beat the Undertaker because the Undertaker is a legend in WWE.

Undertaker took away his chance at immortality at Wrestlemania so Orton will take away everything he can from Undertaker, including his chance to be World Champion. Orton’s legacy was formed by every veteran that he dropped with an RKO and by becoming the youngest World Champion last year at Summerslam. Therefore, at this year’s Summerslam, he’ll get what he needs when he beats Undertaker. Orton demands an answer right now and then panics when the gong strikes (that never gets old). Undertaker’s voice comes on and says Orton will rest in peace at Summerslam, with RIP appearing on the Titantron.

The Boogeyman is still coming.

An unidentified woman with an envelope arrives to see Eddie. We get some flirting and Eddie promises things will get hotter in the arena.

Christian vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey slugs away to start and hits the slingshot dive to the floor. They get inside for the opening bell and Christian sends him hard into the corner to take over. Rey is back with a kick to the face and some right hands as he’s being more brawlerish here. The springboard seated senton gets two as Eddie and the woman come to the stage.

Back from a break with Christian hammering away and then choking on the ropes. A fireman’s carry gutbuster gets two on Rey and we hit the abdominal stretch. Christian drops some headbutts to the ribs for a change of pace and it’s off to a waistlock. Rey gets dropped ribs first across the top rope and a knee puts him on the floor, much to Eddie’s delight.

A quick throat snap across the top gives Rey a breather but Christian dropkicks him out of the air to put him right back down. Now it’s the seated abdominal stretch as you can’t question Christian’s focus. Christian keeps mixing things up (well done) with a bearhug but Rey slips out and snaps off a hurricanrana for two. We take a break and come back with Rey hitting a DDT for a delayed two more. Rey is right back up with the 619 into Dropping The Dime for the surprise pin.

Rating: C. The back work went on for a good while but it wasn’t bad or anything. Rey’s comeback seemed to mainly take place during the break so it was a little lackluster, but Rey can get sympathy like few others in history. Christian continues to be stuck in the blocks on Smackdown, even though he still feels like a star ready to break out.

Post match Rey wants Eddie to come to the ring but Eddie calls that rude. Instead he introduces the woman as Anna, and asks her to take the Bedtime Stories book to Rey. Either Rey can read Chapter Two or Eddie will do it for him. Rey can’t do it so Eddie says Chapter Two is custody papers.

A court has said that Dominick belongs to Eddie so next week, Rey is bringing him to Eddie. Or maybe not if Rey is nice enough about it though. Rey talks about how he and his wife have raised Dominick and the first word Dominick said was dad. He taught Dominick to ride a bicycle and he took Dominick to the hospital when he broke his arm. They were going to tell Dominick the truth about Eddie but Eddie had to do everything on his own and ruin Dominick’s life.

Rey asks Eddie man to man to not hurt Dominick any more. He even drops to a knee but Eddie says that Anna is his attorney. She just reminded Eddie that Eddie is the real father and he’d never lie to his kids. Dominick is the son that Eddie has longed for and he’ll carry out the Guerrero legacy. Next week, Dominick is Eddie’s son so all Rey has to do is stay tuned for Chapter Three: Dominick Comes Home To His Papi. Cole doesn’t seem all that upset or stunned to end the show. This was rather long, but it’s now getting into that ridiculous territory and that’s a strange place to be given the material of the whole thing.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling was mostly fine here, but some of the angles didn’t do much for me. The Eddie vs. Rey stuff continues, but it’s getting to the point of uncomfortable and there is a good chance that we’re going to get into ridiculous. Orton vs. Undertaker II should be good and JBL vs. Batista….well someone has to fight for the title. Summerslam is going to need someone to step up big because I’m not sure if Hogan vs. Michaels is going to be able to carry it. Maybe they’ll surprise us, but they are going to have their work cut out for them.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 1, 2005
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re less than three weeks away from Summerslam and this week has a big title rematch. Last week Chris Jericho helped Carlito defeat John Cena to earn the title match this week, even though it’s pretty clear that we’re coming up on Cena defending against Jericho. Other than that, we have more on the Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan build. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Chris Jericho to get things going. He and Eric Bischoff have been working on a BRILLIANT plan to get the WWE Championship off of John Cena. First of all, we saw Cena’s exposure as a fake rapper and then as a fake champion after Carlito beat Cena with a completely fair referee. After a quick clip of Carlito winning thanks to a low blow, Jericho gets serious to promise Cena some pain at Summerslam. Cue a charging Cena and the fight is on, with Bischoff sending security out a few seconds later. With the fight broken up, Bischoff makes Jericho guest referee for Carlito’s title shot. Cena looks crushed, as expected.

Big Show/Shelton Benjamin vs. Snitsky/Chris Masters

Fallout from last week. It’s a brawl before the bell with Show throwing Shelton inside and pulling Snitsky outside. We settle down to Shelton shouldering Masters and bringing in Show for some headbutting. The huge chop lets Show mock Snitsky’s pain but Masters’ attempt at a cheap shot completely fails. Show tosses him over the top for the big crash onto Snitsky and we take a break.

Back with Shelton hammering on Snitsky some more but having to deal with Masters again, allowing Snitsky to block the Stinger Splash. Masters hits some backbreakers for two, followed by the bearhug. A powerslam gives Masters two and it’s back to Snitsky for the chinlock. Shelton finally gets two off a rollup to Masters but a backslide is countered with a heck of a clothesline. Back up and Shelton finally gets in a neckbreaker for a breather, allowing the hot tag to Big Show. House is cleaned with splashes and running shoulders but Snitsky kicks Show in the face. Not that it matters as Show chokeslams him for the pin.

Rating: D. This was VERY long and dull but I’ll take whatever gets Shelton going again. I don’t expect it to last at the moment, but at least he finally got something back. I don’t know what kind of a future Masters and Snitsky have, though it’s not like there is anyone else doing anything at the moment in the tag division (including the champions).

Here’s Eugene, now with Christy Hemme as his literal cheerleader, for the Eugene Invitational. The hometown hero is….Kurt Angle, with Eugene demanding to know where his name is and where he is from. Angle gets so annoyed that he admits he isn’t from Connecticut so there’s no match. Sure Eugene said he was from Cleveland last week but that was pretending and this is real! Angle brings up that this is an Indian casino and asks who could really be from here. And now, for your random cameo of the week.

Eugene vs. Tatanka

Eugene is rather pleased that Tatanka can drive him back into the corner so Tatanka shoulders him down for two. They fight over the arm with a minute gone and Lawler talking about Christy’s pom poms. A chop puts Eugene down and Tatanka tries the warpath to a non-existent reaction. The top rope chop to the head gets two on Eugene with just under a minute left. Eugene hits an Angle Slam and pulls down the non-existent straps. The ankle lock goes on and Angle comes in for the DQ. Tatanka can’t take a loss here? Really?

Post match Eugene and Tatanka clear the ring. That’s a bad tag team at a legends of wrestling event if I’ve ever seen one.

Post break a furious Angle promises to get his medal back next week in Pittsburgh. Next week, he’s making Eugene REALLY special.

We look at Kane losing the stretcher match and kidnapping Lita to blow off some steam.

Carlito and Jericho rant about Cena and nearly come to blows. Bischoff comes in to calm things down, saying Jericho’s job is to make Carlito WWE Champion. Now go come up with a plan. Jericho thinks a fast count is in order.

Vince McMahon arrives.

Here’s Vince in the ring for a major announcement. This is the 636^th episode of Raw, putting the show past all other original shows for total episodes. The classy thing to do would be to thank the fans, but Vince thanks himself instead. He has a history of making good business decisions, like bringing back people or concepts that make him money. That’s what he’s doing again tonight as he brings back a former WWE superstar. This man has been wrecking havoc backstage and now he will be facing Edge at Summerslam: MATT HARDY.

We see Matt walking through the back before hitting the arena for a big reaction. Matt says he should thank Vince but it was the people who brought him back to Raw. Unlike Vince, Matt is willing to thank the fans for getting him back here. Matt recaps the entire love triangle with Edge and Lita, including real names and breaking kayfabe by talking about how the marriage to Kane was just on TV.

The story came out and the fans let Edge and Lita know how they felt. Then he heard 20,000 people chanting WE WANT MATT in Madison Square Garden so now Matt is back to destroy Edge’s life. Matt promises to hurt Edge at Summerslam and he WILL NOT DIE. It’s a big moment, but after Matt popped up a few times, it was hardly some game changer.

Vince is in the back and runs into Kerwin White, but he’s been rich for so long that he’s forgotten what it’s like to be middle class. Vince leaves and Kerwin longs for some polo.

Rob Conway vs. Val Venis

Conway debuts his “Just Look At Me” song and wrestles in sunglasses because he’s now something like Buff Bagwell. From now on, he’s doing things the Con-Way. JR is incredulous over the sunglasses as Conway starts with a headlock. Venis runs him over and the glasses fall off, sending Conway over the edge. Conway is so mad that he gets wristlocked and hammerlocked, though he does get in an elbow to the jaw. An exchange of forearms on the floor doesn’t last long but Conway snaps him throat first across the rope.

The beating against the barricade keeps Val down and it’s time to crank on the neck back inside. Venis spins out into a Blue Thunder Bomb as the announcers make porn jokes about Venis to fill in some time. A reverse Figure Four sends Conway over to the ropes as we get a loud THIS MATCH SUCKS chant. I’d go more with it’s not that interesting but it doesn’t suck. The Money Shot is broken up and a hanging swinging neckbreaker (the Ego Trip) finishes Venis.

Rating: D. Conway feels like someone who belongs in another era, as you could see him being a star in something closer to the territory days. On Raw in 2005 though? This really didn’t click, though part of that is due to the match being Conway vs. Venis. Who is going to look at this and see something they might want to watch? Conway could be fine in the midcard, but don’t expect to see me care about him with a heel character that isn’t exactly groundbreaking.

And now, Shawn Michaels imitates Hulk Hogan on a fake Larry King Show, getting in every old joke that he can think of and talking about how different he is outside of the ring. With about five BROTHER’s per sentence, Shawn takes a call from Battle Creek, Michigan, where he’ll never go again because Hulk only makes the big towns brother. We get a long and good Shawn highlight video, capped off by the superkick to Hogan.

Shawn, in Hogan pose: “…..brother….”. Before the match, “Hulk” has a lot of politicking to do with Vince. We hear about how Shawn failed when Hogan bailed on the company for more money because Shawn would rather work as hard in Battle Creek, Michigan than he would in Madison Square Garden. It won’t matter though because (“You know something Mean Gene!” Larry: “It’s Larry King!” Hulk: “It doesn’t matter brother. I’m selling tickets!”) he’ll prove himself at Summerslam.

Hulk gets a bad cramp but he’s fine enough to superkick Larry and rip off the wig. Hogan has a reality show, but at Summerslam, reality is kicking him in the face, just like Shawn kicks the camera. Shawn is great at this stuff and even though it’s pretty easy to mock Hogan, you can tell Shawn is in this one hard. That being said, you can imagine how Hogan is going to take this because he’s a little serious about himself. Shawn at least feels like he’s saying something though and it’s coming across even with the comedy stuff. That’s more than Hogan has done, as he’s just promised to beat Shawn up. More of Shawn’s stuff please.

It’s Diva Search time and Summer is cut. Yes another good looking blonde is out, leaving the rest to try Queen of the Mountain (the duel with big sticks). Hold on though as here’s Rob Schneider of all people to promote Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo. Schneider: “As you battle, do not be distracted by my boner.” The four do their tournament, Schneider isn’t funny, Schneider gets physical on the big inflatable mat, Elizabeth wins. So much for them not spending as much time on this stuff.

We recap Carlito vs. Cena from last week.

Raw World Title: Carlito vs. John Cena

Bischoff is at ringside, Cena is defending, Carlito’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line and Jericho is guest referee. Jericho gets in a distraction to start so Carlito can hammer away at the bell. Cena’s early comeback is cut off by Jericho and a crazy fast count gets two. Jericho helps Carlito send him shoulder first into the post and we take a break. Back with Carlito hitting a running neckbreaker for a fast two and the handicap match continues.

Cena tries a suplex but Jericho breaks it up so Carlito can hit a DDT for two, despite Cena being all over the ropes. A flying shoulder drops Carlito and Cena spears Jericho, only to get taken down from behind again. We hit the chinlock again but Cena powers out, meaning it’s time for another cheap shot from Jericho.

They head outside with Jericho pulling the pad off of the barricade. Even Jericho gets in a ram but Cena comes back with the shots to the face. The usual looks to finish but Jericho won’t count, meaning Cena goes after him again. Jericho breaks up the FU, only to hit Bischoff by mistake. Cena clotheslines Jericho to the floor and hits the FU to get the retaining pin from another referee.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what to think about this one. They didn’t waste time hiding what they were doing here but there was no chance that they were going to change the title with a Summerslam main event ready for them. The idea is there, but was there NO ONE but the Intercontinental Champion for this spot? Throw Snitsky in there or something but find a better way to protect the title.

Post match Jericho hits Cena low and busts him open with a TV camera. The Walls go on and Bischoff slaps Cena a few times, sending JR over the edge to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Matt coming back was cool (yet it would have been better had he just gotten into the fight with Edge some other way), Shawn’s deal was funny and that’s it for your positives on this show. A fifteen minute Masters/Snitsky match? The same main event we had last week? ROB SCHNEIDER AND TATANKA??? They had a few ideas here (Conway is at least a genuine attempt to push someone new and I can go for that) but the bad stuff really cripples anything good the show could have had. It’s not a failure, but they need to get rid of the awful stuff in a hurry because it’s killing what good things they have.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: July 28, 2005
Location: Blue Cross Arena, Rochester, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

With the Great American Bash out of the way, the only thing left to do is head towards Summerslam. Raw is already out in front though, meaning Smackdown will need to start adding in some matches sooner rather than later. They still have a lot of time to do so and a lot of that can start here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Theodore Long in the ring to thank us for watching the Great American Bash. I didn’t know Long was into torture. He recaps some of the bigger events from the show, including the Undertaker becoming the new #1 contender. Therefore, at Summerslam, it will be….something that is cut off by JBL. He isn’t happy because Long is forgetting the main event of the Great American Bash where he defeated Batista.

JBL did everything he promised to do but Batista getting himself disqualified prevented him from becoming World Champion. Therefore, Long needs to name him #1 contender again. Long agrees, but the title match isn’t coming at Summerslam. Hang on though as there was a clause in the contract saying that if JBL won, which he did, he would get the first shot at Batista. Long doesn’t like the threats of lawsuits so tonight it’s JBL vs. Undertaker for the Summerslam title shot. Better than a triple threat at least.

Christian/Orlando Jordan vs. Booker T./Chris Benoit

Combination of two Bash matches and Jordan’s shoulder is taped up. It’s a brawl to start with the villains being knocked out to the floor in short order. Booker throws Jordan back inside and Christian has to break up a Crossface attempt. We settle down to Benoit chopping the other Canadian and then grabbing a headlock takeover.

Back up and more chops have Christian rocked so Jordan grabs the boot to bring Benoit down. Jordan comes in for an elbow to the face and a Christian distraction lets Jordan go to work on the turnbuckle pad. The Anaconda Vice has Benoit in more trouble and Christian’s neckbreaker gets two. A chinlock keeps Benoit in trouble until he suplexes his way to freedom and brings in Booker.

The Book End gets two on Christian with Jordan making the save, earning himself a knock to the floor. Back from a break with Booker getting two on Christian and hitting some chops. After ignoring a Benoit tag request, Booker hits the spinebuster and Spinaroonis up. Jordan comes back in for a rake to the eyes so Christian can get two off a reverse DDT.

We hit another chinlock but Christian dives into a kick to the face for the double knockdown. That’s enough for the hot tag to Benoit to snap off the suplexes, including sending Jordan onto Christian. A bunch of German suplexes put the villains down again and it’s the Swan Dive to Jordan’s bad shoulder for two. The Crossface makes Jordan tap.

Rating: C+. The ending is what mattered here as it gives us a reason to set up Benoit vs. Jordan in a rematch where Benoit should certainly win the title. Other than that we have Christian vs. Booker continuing, though I’m not sure how much more of that needs to take place. The match was a rather nice formula tag and didn’t feel as long as it was, which is always a plus.

Heidenreich isn’t sure if he can be the next Hawk but Animal says be yourself. He then gives him a haircut to look more like Hawk.

Video on Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio from Sunday.

Heidenreich/Animal vs. Chris Hamrick/Chuck Sealy

Non-title, Heidenreich has Hawk’s haircut and it’s Doomsday Device for the pin in about thirty seconds.

MNM want their titles back but Melina say they need to worry about putting a positive spin on things. They have a new publicist and are going to be on the cover of next month’s Smackdown Magazine. For now though, they need to have a fixer, who fixes things. They’ll meet her later tonight. That would be the debuting Jillian Hall, who announces Melina vs. Torrie II with Jillian there to counter Candice Michelle. Oh and Jillian has huge and disgusting growth on her face. After the women leave, Mercury: “Would you?”

Rey Mysterio is in the back with Dominick, who asks what the big secret was. Rey will tell him when he’s older.

The Boogeyman is still coming.

Here are Mysterio and Dominick for a chat. Rey thanks us for the support but here’s Eddie, carrying a book. Rey says this is over and tells Eddie to stay away from his son. Eddie: “Don’t worry Rey. I’m not going to get anywhere near your son.” Eddie insists that he never loses because he’s the law. Yes he agreed to be quiet if he lost at the Great American Bash….but he lied. Now he feels like telling a bedtime story so Rey goes after him, so Eddie is smart enough to drop the bombshell in a hurry: he’s Dominick’s real father. Eddie: “I’m your papi.”

Dominick asks Rey if it’s true and Rey has to admit that it is, sending Dominick running through the crowd. Rey goes after him so Eddie gets in the ring to say the people here don’t smell so good. Now he sits down in a chair and asks for the lights to be dimmed because it’s time for Eddie’s Bedtime Stories. There was a time when Eddie and his wife were separated and Eddie had an affair. Then the woman came to Eddie to tell him that she was pregnant (with her eighth child).

At the same time though, Rey and his wife couldn’t have a child so Eddie had an idea. Instead of being the father, he became Uncle Eddie, even though there were never any official adoption papers. Eddie says that’s a big weight off his shoulders, but just wait until next week’s chapter two. This story just took a hard turn and it is now a lot more uncomfortable than intriguing. Maybe it’s having Dominick there in person or that the feud has been going too long, but this new part isn’t working.

Cole and Tazz do their serious voices, but the show must go on so here’s what’s next.

Melina vs. Torrie Wilson

Jillian (with growth) and Candice at ringside. As Tazz talks about the growth on Jillian’s face (Cole: “ENOUGH WITH THE PUS!”), Melina chokes in the corner and on the mat to start. Torrie gets two off a rollup but Melina hammers away with forearms. We hit the neck crank and get a closeup on the growth because YOU MIGHT NOT GET THE JOKE OTHERWISE. Torrie fights out but gets ax handled in the back. Melina goes to the middle rope for the dive into the boot spot but Torrie can’t get her leg up in time, meaning it hits slightly raised knees instead. Not that it matters as Melina grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D-. The match was terrible, but the point here was introducing Jillian and the big joke about her. I get the idea of not having just another good looking blonde out there but they couldn’t think of ANYTHING else? This year, we’ve seen OVW talents with a gimmick of a stutter and a growth on her face, among other bad ideas. Just….come on already people.

Post match, Jillian lays Torrie out.

The Mexicools are in the backstage concessions area and apparently are supposed to be selling them tonight. The boss says get to work and leaves, but the Mexicools think it’s a good idea.

Summerslam is coming. This includes the Divas in a swimsuit car wash.

William Regal vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Hold on as here are the Mexicools with the concessions for a segment that would get WWE thrown into a fire these days. The referee gets a drink thrown on him, followed by a beatdown for Scotty and Regal. Popcorn and nachos are included. I’m almost scared to know who came up with this idea.

Raw Rebound.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Undertaker

The winner gets Batista at Summerslam and Jordan is at ringside. Joined in progress after a break with Undertaker shouldering JBL (and his bad ribs) down. Undertaker hammers away at the ribs in the corner and a big boot gets two. More shots to the ribs let Undertaker knock him to the floor, followed by a ram into the barricade. There’s the apron legdrop for two more but JBL finally gets in a shot of his own and hammers away in the corner. The ribs are fine enough for a slam and JBL goes up, only to get superplexed right back down for two more.

Back from a break with Undertaker bouncing off the announcers’ table as Cole freaks out over Jordan’s cheating during the commercial. Undertaker fights back up without much effort and the Downward Spiral gets another near fall. JBL gets in a low blow for two, only to have Undertaker come back with the jumping clothesline. Snake Eyes into the big boot into the legdrop gets two but the referee gets bumped.

Undertaker deals with the invading Jordan by kicking a chair into his face. That lets JBL get in the big boot and a chair to the head for two, with the kickout sending JBL into a panic. There’s a chokeslam to JBL and a right hand to Jordan, the latter of which sends the referee outside. The Tombstone connects but it’s Randy Orton running in with the RKO to give JBL the cheating pin.

Rating: D+. They went into this with an actual doubt of how it was going to go and while the idea that I have to watch JBL vs. Batista again makes my head hurt, I do like Undertaker vs. Orton II. The match was the usual slow Undertaker vs. JBL fight but that’s really all you can expect from JBL at this point.

Overall Rating: D+. There are times where I look at this show in awe. I’m not sure how WWE comes up with all of these bad ideas but they just keep piling on over and over again. Maybe they need some time after all of the new names showing up but egads man, it shouldn’t be this hard. Just stop doing stupid stuff and it should be a better show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 25, 2005
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are officially on the road to Summerslam and that means it’s time to crank things up. Now granted that doesn’t mean much of a change around here as a lot of the matches have already been set up or at least made clear. Tonight we’re getting a Diva Search segment plus a battle of the bands between Chris Jericho and John Cena, because we’re just lucky that way. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at last week’s nightmare of a lumberjack match.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his Kurt Angle Invitational but he isn’t in the mood to waste time. Therefore, get the opponent out here right now. This brings out….Christy Hemme? Angle is rather confused but likes the idea, suggesting they start in the referee’s position. Christy says don’t flatter yourself because she has another opponent in mind, and he happens to be from Cleveland.

Kurt Angle vs. Eugene

It’s Eugene’s first match since January due to the knee injury. Angle doesn’t get it as Eugene isn’t from Cleveland. That means Eugene takes off his jacket to reveal a Cleveland Browns jersey, but Kurt isn’t convinced. A Duck Season/Rabbit Season bit doesn’t work either but Kurt says Eugene is making him mentally challenged too. Angle jumps him from behind and we start fast with Angle ripping off the jersey. Wouldn’t that be an improvement?

Anyway, Kurt chokes with the jersey and hits him with crossface shots to the jaw as the dominance is on in a hurry. The fans get on Angle as he unloads in the corner but a ram into the buckle wakes Eugene up. The comeback is on as we only have thirty seconds left. Angle blocks the Stunner and there’s the Angle Slam but the ankle lock is rolled through, sending Kurt outside and Eugene beats the clock.

Rating: D+. What do you say to this? It’s a squash until Angle slips on a banana peel to lose to a returning comedy guy. Christy being in Eugene’s corner doesn’t fix a lot of his problems, like the fact that he’s still Eugene. It was nice to get a payoff though, even if it might not be the best idea in the world.

There’s a mini Viscera. What else do I need to say to that?

John Cena comes in to see Eric Bischoff and talks about thinking he was Scott Baio for a while. Now though, he knows he’s the WWE Champion. Bischoff wants a more down to earth champion though and calls Cena white trash. Cena: “Ooooh.” Bischoff calls all rappers scum and slime and turns around as the camera zooms in on him. We wait for it to zoom out for the big surprise, so after promising to make Cena miserable, we pan over to see….that Cena has left.

Viscera/Cloacas vs. Antonio/Pocket Rocket

Yes it’s a mixed tag and Pocket Rocket is a mini Heartthrob. Rocket takes over to start and gets in the dancing as Coach and Lawler get in the jokes you would expect. The beating keeps going for a few minutes until the cheating fails, allowing Viscera to come in off the hot tag. Viscera beats up both Heartthrobs, stares at Rocket for punching him, tosses Rocket to the floor and lets Cloacas hit a splash on Antonio to set up the pin.

Rating: F. Nope.

The ambulance arrives, because we need Edge vs. Kane in a stretcher match.

We get a tribute to Lord Alfred Hayes, who passed away earlier in the week. It’s almost strange to see him as a wrestler.

Bischoff puts Shelton Benjamin in a handicap match instead of the No DQ/No Countout match he wanted against Carlito. Shelton has to face Gene Snitsky and Chris Masters, which he says is like Bischoff’s breath: it stinks.

Maria thinks Chris Jericho is here with Fozzie Bear and wants to know if the other Muppets are going to be here. Jericho isn’t pleased and asks what a limp biscuit is and rips on Cleveland. He’s ready for the battle of the bands.

It’s time for the battle of the bands with Cena, accompanied by Trademarc and Bumpy Knuckles, performing Bad Bad Man live.

Post performance, here’s Jericho to say that was awful. This isn’t the crowd for Fozzy to perform in front of though, because this crowd is biased against him. Therefore, Cena wins by default but he’ll lose at Summerslam. Jericho leaves and Cena and company perform My Time Is Now. This is in no way shape or form an excuse to see the Diva Search girls dancing in swimsuits in the back.

Shawn Michaels sees himself in a mirror and screams for makeup.

Bischoff makes Cena vs. Carlito. If Carlito can beat Cena tonight, he can have a title shot next week. Carlito finds this cool, especially since Jericho can be referee

Here’s Shawn, in the heelish suit, for a chat. Shawn promotes Hogan Knows Best to silence (Shawn: “Then you’ve seen it.”) but doesn’t want a reality show. He doesn’t want to be a rapper or a rock star or an actor. No he’d rather be the best in-ring performer the WWE has ever seen. Hogan is living off a reputation he created twenty years ago but Shawn is out there every night proving himself all over again. Hogan lives in a million dollar home built off the sweat of every fan at home.

After all that though, the best Hogan can give you is some posing, which Shawn demonstrates. Shawn says this building is quiet because the people in the back are freaking out. He’s shooting you see, but you can’t fire him because he’s the Summerslam main event. If you wanted the old HBK, you’ve got him. Years from now, people are going to remember him as the icon. So whatcha gonna do when Shawn rolls over you at Summerslam?

We look at Eugene winning again. Next week: the Eugene Invitational.

Snitsky/Chris Masters vs. Shelton Benjamin

Snitsky jumps Shelton during Masters’ entrance but gets clotheslined to the floor in a hurry. That means the big flip dive from Benjamin and both villains are taken down. Back in and Snitsky pounds Shelton down in the corner so Masters can grab a front facelock. Shelton finally kicks him away so Snitsky gets in a cheap shot. Snitsky demands the Masterlock so on it goes….and Shelton is out.

Rating: D. Remember about a month and a half ago when Shelton looked ready to jump up to the next level? I’m not sure if he’s gotten a pin since then and it doesn’t look to be anything better going forward. At least he’s getting a feud away from Carlito, but Masters might not be the brightest future.

Post match the beating continues so Big Show makes the save.

It’s Diva Search time and Cameron is out. This week’s contest is a hot dog eating contest and it takes them the full minute to finish a single hot dog. Since there is a tie, Leyla has to win a thirty second eat off for immunity. I can only hope, but this felt like they knew they needed to pull the plug and didn’t give it much time this week. Please let that be the case because I can’t take much more on this show.

Kane vs. Edge

Stretcher match with Kane jumping him from behind during the entrances. The beating starts around the ring with Kane ramming him into various things, including the barricade and the steps. It’s too early to get Edge across the line though so Kane throws him down the ramp instead.

Back from a break with Kane in trouble for a change but the Edgecution is broken up. Kane hits the top rope clothesline but Lita takes a chair away from him. That means the spear to cut Kane down, only for Edge to realize it’s not that simple. Kane gets back up so Lita kendo sticks him in the knee.

Edge’s hard stick shot to the head puts him back down and gives us the smallest….well it’s not a trickle…..we’ll say dot of blood I can ever remember. Kane sits up to block the Pillmanizing and chairs Edge off the top. A chokeslam drops Edge onto the stretcher but Lita is right there with the briefcase to Kane’s back. Edge saves Lita from the chokeslam onto/off of the stage and a briefcase to the head is enough to give Edge the win.

Rating: D+. This was another example of the same thing that they’ve done a few times now and I don’t need to see it again. It’s beyond clear that this is heading for Matt Hardy vs. Edge but we can’t do that because Kane vs. Edge can’t end already. Just let it end already because it’s completely done at this point.

Post match Kane pops up and Tombstones Lita on the stage. As luck would have it, we have a stretcher right there. As Edge panics, Matt runs down for a few shots but security breaks it up.

Post break Lita is being loaded into the ambulance but Kane pops in again, punches out a cop, and steals the ambulance. Coach: “When is enough enough?” I’d love to hear WWE answer that.

Carlito vs. John Cena

Non-title and Bischoff is watching from the stage. Cena knows he’s in trouble here but backdrops Carlito anyway. Carlito gets in a shot to the face to put Cena on the floor Jericho is willing to count and even takes away Carlito’s chair. The distraction lets Cena hit his clothesline for a fairly slow one count.

Another shot lets Carlito take over in the corner and an elbow gives him two, with the same speed from Jericho. Carlito hits a flapjack for two and the chinlock goes on. A neckbreaker gives Carlito two more but Cena is back with the fisherman’s suplex. Carlito runs him down again and we’re in another chinlock. The knee to the ribs gets two but Cena fights up. The FU is loaded up but Jericho kicks Cena low and hits the Lionsault to give Carlito the pin.

Rating: D+. The idea here was that Jericho was calling the match down the line and for some reason JR bought it. Jericho yells at Cena as usual earlier in the night, referees fairly with the evil boss watching for eight minutes and then the turn (Was it a turn?) is shocking? I can go with the idea of throwing in the mini feud with Carlito to give them a bridge to Summerslam, but the shock and awe at Jericho being himself is a little much.

Overall Rating: D-. This was a rough one with nothing good in the ring, a bunch of stuff that felt like it was there because no one else was watching, and whatever that Viscera stuff was. Some of the matches could have been worse but with nothing good all night and a bunch of stuff that made my head hurt, the show is as close to a failure as you can get without going all the way over the line.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Great American Bash 2005
Date: July 24, 2005
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s their patriotic show, which isn’t likely to mean much in regards to anything more than the name. The official main event is Batista defending the World Title against JBL but the real main event is Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio over the secret that Guerrero wants to tell Rey’s son Dominic. I’m not seeing a great show here, but it could be lot worse. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about America being a land of opportunity, with each match being tied into the theme. Actually not too bad of an idea.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Animal/Heidenreich

Animal/Heidenreich are challenging. Heidenreich and Mercury start things off with the latter being shoved outside in a hurry. Mercury gets thrown down again and let’s make it a third time for good measure. Animal throws him back inside and then comes in legally for a good reaction. A charge hits raised boot but Animal is fine enough to suplex both champs at the same time.

Nitro gets backdropped onto his shoulder and it’s off to Heidenreich. That means the champs can take him down by the knee with both of them getting a chance to pull on it. A missed charge in the corner allows the tag to Animal so house can be cleaned. Animal runs into a belt shot in the corner but Heidenreich breaks up the Snap Shot. The Doomsday Device is good for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. It wasn’t very good and it was annoying to see the hot new act lose to a half nostalgia/half garbage team but the fans reacted well and this isn’t likely to be a long term deal. The biggest problem here is having MNM lose, but they’ll probably get the titles back sooner rather than later. At least the crowd got a nice pop to open the show.

Post match, Animal dedicates the win to Hawk.

Eddie Guerrero is happy to be addicted to manipulation. Tonight’s manipulation is that Dominick will be watching from ringside. After the match is over, Dominick can hear a bedtime story.

Christian vs. Booker T.

Sharmell is here with Booker. Christian gets chased to the floor to start so Booker throws him back inside and elbows away. That means the chase continues up the ramp with Booker getting the better of it again. A catapult into the corner gets two but Christian is right back with a reverse DDT for two. The DDT on the arm sets up a chinlock, followed by what would become the Anaconda Vice.

That’s broken up with a foot on the rope and Booker grabs a side slam. Christian sends him into the corner again so Sharmell gets on the apron and slaps Christian in the face. The Book End gets two and a spinebuster plants Christian again. Booker Spinaroonis up and hammers away in the corner, only to get rolled up with a foot on the rope for two. They go outside with Booker sending him into the barricade and post. Back in and Booker hits a super ax kick for the pin. Yeah it’s that quick.

Rating: C-. I don’t know what it was but this was rather boring. It was two guys doing moves to each other until Booker got the win in the end. Uh, great, now he has his revenge. What do they do now? This was a rather nothing match and while it was technically fine, I was never interested in anything they did.

Melina is upset about the loss so she’ll make up for it by beating Torrie Wilson.

US Title: Orlando Jordan vs. Chris Benoit

Jordan is defending and got punched down by Benoit earlier today. They lock up to start with Benoit getting the better of it and kneeing away in the corner. Some kicks to the knee get Jordan out of some of the trouble so Benoit dropkicks him in the knee to show him how it’s done. Benoit sends him outside but misses a baseball slide, allowing Jordan to get in a ram to the barricade.

Back in and Jordan tries to unhook a turnbuckle pad, only to get suplexed a few times in a row. Jordan starts working on the arm with a bunch of cranking and an armbar, but does have time to spell OJ in the air. Benoit gets a double leg takedown and hammers away but Jordan goes right back to the arm by wrapping it around the leg. A seated armbar makes it worse and Jordan’s swinging neckbreaker (Cole: “That works on the neck!”) gets two.

After more arm cranking, Jordan goes up top but gets crotched, setting up Benoit’s top rope superplex. Benoit suplexes him down again and hits the Swanton for two. Jordan gets sent into the corner again and gets the pad off, allowing him to send Benoit face first to retain the title.

Rating: C. And so yes the reign continues, but they set up a rematch if need be. Jordan has held the title for months now and for some reason he still has it, presumably because we need to have the title change on the big stage. The one good thing is they aren’t Jordan as some great champion just because he’s held the title for a few months. Benoit got cheated here and that should set up a title change sooner rather than later. Just get rid of Jordan as soon as possible, for everyone’s sake.

Post match Benoit gets the big hero’s ovation. It’s just an Orlando Jordan match people.

We recap the Undertaker vs. Muhammad Hassan. Muhammad claimed that he was being discriminated against because he couldn’t get a fair shake. He was put in the six way elimination match for the Smackdown Title but Undertaker chased him off. Then Undertaker beat up Daivari, only to have Hassan bring in some men in masks to attack Undertaker (the word terrorist was never said but that’s what they were going for). Since this took place on the day of the London bombings. It did not sit well with a lot of people. Hassan was basically blackballed from UPN, putting his future in jeopardy.

Undertaker vs. Muhammad Hassan

For the #1 contendership and Hassan is carried to the ring by the masked men on a sedan. Before the match, Hassan talks about how unfair everything is and how he’ll prove himself tonight. The masked men surround the ring after Undertaker shows up and the dodging is on in a hurry. Undertaker finally grabs him by the throat and throws Hassan into the corner for the right hands.

A clothesline drops Hassan for two and a Downward Spiral is good for two. Daivari shouts a lot so Undertaker stares down at him, followed by another glare to put the referee on the floor. The distraction lets Daivari pull Hassan away from a big boot and one of the masked men gets in some shots on the floor.

Back in and Hassan gets two off a DDT and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry and a single right hand puts Hassan down. Undertaker stops to go after some masked men though and gets beaten down again as they desperately try to give Hassan a chance. The camel clutch is broken up in a hurry but one of the masked men comes in and gets beaten up as well. Snake Eyes drops Hassan, Undertaker beats up all of the masked men and the chokeslam is good for the pin.

Rating: D. At this point, I’d take anything that was even pretty good or had anything resembling life. Another bad and dull match here with Undertaker beating up six people with no real trouble. Hassan was dead in the water as soon as the terrorist angle took place and this was just a matter of time. At least they kept it short enough, but I still feel horrible for Hassan. He did his job and had his career derailed because of all of these things out of his control.

Post match Undertaker beats up the masked men, Daivari and Hassan. With that out of the way (after a long time), it’s a Last Ride through the stage to write Hassan off for good. I know he wasn’t great, but he should have had a chance to fail on his own instead of being thrown out for the company’s bad idea. They do show Hassan laying on the concrete and convulsing a bit, just for some bonus effect.

Torrie Wilson promises to give the troops something special tonight.

As Hassan is taken out on a stretcher, it’s time for the next match.

Blue World Order vs. Mexicools

It’s the big wheels vs. the lawnmowers, though the Mexicools have rakes so they…..win? I think? Juvy dances away from Nova to start and everything breaks down early on. The blue guys clear the ring and pose, until Juvy hits a springboard spinwheel kick to the back of Nova’s head. Crazy knocks Nova down for two and it’s back to Juvy for a seated abdominal stretch. Nova finally kicks him away and brings in Stevie to the silence you might have expected. Everything breaks down and Stevie misses a charge in the corner, setting up Psicosis’ guillotine legdrop for the pin.

Rating: D-. Were you expecting anything else? The match was thrown onto the card to give the fans a breather after seeing Hassan murdered on television. The wrestling was basically non-existent and the right team won, but this would have felt out of place on Smackdown, let alone on a pay per view.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio, which is all about the fact that Eddie can’t beat Rey. Therefore, Eddie has snapped and gone insane with jealousy, eventually dragging Rey’s family into the whole thing. He has some kind of secret over Rey’s head and if he wins tonight, the secret is out. If Rey wins though, the secret is locked away forever. Or until next week in wrestling logic.

Rey tells his son Dominick that it’ll be ok.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

Rey’s son Dominick is at ringside. Before the bell, Eddie demands a handshake to show Dominick what kind of a man Rey is. The bell rings and the beating is on in a hurry with Rey hitting a clothesline but getting knocked down without much effort. Rey gets two off a backslide and stops a charging Eddie with an elbow to the jaw. An atomic drop cuts Rey off and Dominick is looking nervous.

Rey evens things up with a crotching on top, setting up a super hurricanrana for two. Another hurricanrana sets up a 619 to the ribs and the springboard seated senton gets two more. Eddie has a breather on the floor and hides behind Dominick, which goes as well with Rey as you might expect. Even Tazz thinks that’s too far as Eddie gets in a cheap shot and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Rey back inside.

Eddie goes back to ringside to glare at Dominick some more, followed by a hard whip into the corner to work on Rey’s back again. Another backbreaker gives Eddie three straight near falls and the frustration is on in a hurry. Rey counters another backbreaker into a rollup for two so Eddie grabs the Gory Stretch. With Rey down, Eddie goes to check on Dominick again, allowing Rey to kick him in the face for some near falls.

A tornado DDT gives Rey a delayed two and the comeback is on. The 619 connects to set up the West Coast Pop but Eddie powerbombs him out of the air. Rey rolls out of frog splash range but he can’t do anything else. Two Amigos into a brainbuster let Eddie look down at Rey again and the frog splash connects….but Rey reverses into a crucifix for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. Dominick destroyed whatever they had going here as you can only cut back to him so many times before I never want to see him again. We reached that point about five minutes into the match so they kept doing it over and over again. It’s the best match of the night so far, but given the low bar that has to clear, it isn’t exactly an accomplishment. The story took a bad turn here and I don’t know if they’re going to be able to get anything back.

Post match, Eddie is stunned and looks to swear more revenge.

JBL isn’t happy with Batista embarrassing him so many times lately and promises to teach Batista a lesson like never before.

Melina vs. Torrie Wilson

Bra and panties match with Candice Michelle as guest referee for reasons of three instead of two. They brawl to start and Torrie grabs an abdominal stretch to pull off Melina’s shirt. A try for the pants gets Torrie kicked to the floor so Melina throws her back in and evens the score. Candice yells at Melina for choking so Melina drops an elbow instead. Torrie makes the comeback with some clotheslines but still can’t get the pants. A hot shot lets Melina get the rather easy win.

Rating: F. Yeah we get it. These matches just do not work in a world where Torrie has already been in Playboy so it’s not like this has any reason to exist other than to hook teenagers without good internet access. This was everything you would expect it to be and then even less.

Post match Melina jumps Candice so it’s a stripping for Melina as well. Oh and Candice strips as well.

We recap Batista vs. JBL. John Cena and the WWE Championship went to Raw in the Draft so we needed a new champ. JBL won the inaugural Smackdown Championship but Batista moved over, meaning JBL was just a #1 contender. That wasn’t cool with JBL, who yelled at Batista a lot and bragged about being a real American. It’s a feud where they have done everything well enough but the lack of drama has hurt things a lot.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Batista

Batista is defending. They circle each other to start until JBL gets shoved away off a lockup. Another shove lets Batista pose as they’re not exactly starting fast. JBL knocks him into the corner and hits a right hand, only to get clotheslined outside in a hurry. Back in and Batista’s side slam gets two but JBL runs him down with a shoulder out of the corner.

Another clothesline puts JBL on the floor though as this has been mostly Batista so far. JBL tries to dive off the apron and gets rammed back first into said apron for his efforts. Back in and Batista gets sent shoulder first, followed by a big boot right back to the floor. They go over the announcers’ table in a heap and JBL hits a jumping right hand off the table for a knock down.

That’s good for two back inside, followed by choking and an elbow for two more. Batista’s comeback is countered into a long form sleeper until Batista suplexes his way to freedom. They head outside for about the 14^th time and Batista is sent knees first into the steps. The big running clothesline puts both of them over the barricade though and Batista hammers away again.

Back in and the ref gets bumped, because that’s what this match needed. The spinebuster plants JBL but Orlando Jordan comes in with a chair to Batista’s back. That and a big boot give JBL a very delayed two and the Clothesline From JBL gets….nothing as that referee really can’t take a hit. Batista grabs another spinebuster, backdrops Jordan to the floor, and hits the shoulders in the corner. Jordan tries to come in again so Batista grabs a chair and blasts them both for the DQ, because THIS needs a rematch.

Rating: D-. Another lifeless match with Batista being better than JBL at everything JBL does. Then I had to put up with Jordan in another match and more JBL promos are coming as we probably take this to Summerslam. Batista didn’t even look that dominant and the match was long, sluggish and felt way too similar to the same story of Batista vs. HHH/Ric Flair.

Post match Batista doesn’t like the decision so he Batista Bombs JBL to end the show. Oh wait as Cole has to thank the troops. If this is their gift, it would seem that WWE hates them very much.

Overall Rating: F. This seems appropriate as I’m rather tempted to say various words that start with an F over and over after watching this show. This was HORRIBLE and one of the worst shows I’ve seen in a very long time with nothing showing any energy, some complete wastes of time, some questionable booking decisions and a terrible main event that dares to suggest we might want to see it again. It’s a complete disaster on almost every front and I can’t imagine it actually going worse. Horrible stuff here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: July 21, 2005
Location: First Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for the Great American Bash and that means things are mostly set in stone. There are a lot of things that can be built up a bit better though and Sunday’s show could use a bit of that. The show isn’t looking too bad aside from the main event, which is little more than a way for Batista to get his first title defense as Smackdown Champion. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video is paid for by Friends Of JBL. Everything started for him last year and now it’s time for him to get the title back. Tonight, we get his victory celebration for Sunday’s title victory.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Super Crazy

The other Mexicools are at ringside too. Rey starts fast with an armdrag and it’s off to a test of strength, which always looks strange from smaller guys. Rey grabs a headscissors but gets dropkicked right back down for two. The threat of a 619 puts Crazy on the floor so he comes back in refreshed and grabs a spinebuster. Crazy stomps away in the corner until Rey manages to send him shoulder first into the post…and here’s Eddie Guerrero.

Back from a break with Eddie on commentary and Rey hammering away in the corner. Eddie uses the time to explain that he’s just doing all this because he loves Rey. Crazy sends Rey out of the corner and the waistlock goes on. As Eddie gets angrier and angrier, Crazy grabs the Rocking Horse to work on all the limbs. That’s broken up so Crazy puts on a seated abdominal stretch.

With that not lasting long, they chop it out as Eddie talks about being the man of the house. The springboard spinning crossbody gives Rey two and a headscissors into the corner is good for the same. Another springboard is broken up though and Crazy gets two off a springboard moonsault. Rey is right back with a headscissors into 619 position, drawing Eddie in with a rake (stolen from Psicosis) to Rey’s back for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was long but they did the smart thing by not having either of them take a fall. They seem to have plans for the Mexicools so having them lose this early would be a bad idea. Eddie was going even crazier on commentary and it makes the heel turn work that much more. He can be all sinister in his regular promos but now he’s breaking down into just pure obsession and madness.

Post break Eddie is going to leave but Theodore Long says not so fast. Eddie is wrestling tonight against a mystery opponent.

Christian brags about beating Booker T. last week and promises to beat him again on Sunday. If Josh Matthews doesn’t like it, go back to his parent’s house and his basement room and complain about it on the internet. Booker is going to be a two time two time loser.

Heidenreich reads Animal a poem about feeling Hawk’s presence and how big of a chance this is. Animal says Heidenreich is more like Hawk than he thought. Heidenreich: “What a rush.” Oh give me a break.

JBL is a Great American. Like Neil Armstrong.

Animal/Heidenreich vs. Nick Berk/Julio Dinero

Powerslam and Doomsday Device finish in thirty seconds. MNM is shown panicking in the back.

Raw Rebound.

Eddie Guerrero vs. ???

It’s…..Chris Benoit, because that’s as much of a guaranteed good match as you can get. Before the match, Eddie tries to run so Benoit calls him in, saying they’ve been close friends for years. Eddie gets back in and decks Benoit to start in a hurry. A chair is brought in but the referee takes it away, only to have Eddie kick Benoit low for an early two. Eddie’s boot rake over the face but Benoit snaps off a German suplex as we take a break.

Back with Eddie wrapping the knee around the post and sending him face first into the announcers’ table. Eddie cranks on the leg and puts on a leglock, sending Benoit rolling over to the ropes. Benoit fights up and tries the Sharpshooter but the knee gives out. That means the leglock goes right back on so Benoit makes it to the ropes again, though a bit more slowly this time.

Eddie goes up but gets headbutted and superplexed back down, with Benoit busted open after the headbutts. Being the smart villain, Eddie kicks at the cut but Benoit snaps off the rolling German suplex for a double knockdown. The Swan Dive gets a delayed two with Eddie getting a boot on the rope. Back up and Eddie tries the Three Amigos, only to get reversed into the Crossface. Eddie is in the ropes within about two seconds….and takes the countout.

Rating: B. That’s about the standard for these two as they don’t know how to have a bad match. They’re one of the best pairings you can find and it was no exception here. This was the second match in a row where you don’t want either of them taking a fall so it was the right way to go. I could get used to this thinking things through concept.

Post match Rey jumps Eddie and beats him up on the stage.

We look back at Undertaker beating up Muhammad Hassan’s attorney last week.

Here’s Candice Michelle for a special announcement: the Great American Bash will be available for free to the military. Yeah we already knew that. Cue Melina, who isn’t happy that Candice is guest referee for Melina vs. Torrie Wilson on Sunday. Melina doesn’t like Candice and goes for her clothes, only to have Torrie run in for the save. Candice is so humiliated that she dances a bit.

Video on the Great American Bash press conference.

Booker T. vs. Simon Dean

Simon says Sharmell goes to the buffet line five times, five times, five times, five times, five times and the beating is on in a hurry. Booker doesn’t waste time and punches, kicks and kicks some more, setting up the ax kick for the pin in a hurry.

Post match Booker says Christian is just like that Richard Simmons Tae Bo wannabe.

JBL is a Great American. Like Ronald Reagan.

The Boogeyman is coming.

Long video on Guerrero vs. Mysterio.

Great American Bash rundown, with the Blue World Order vs. the Mexicools added.

It’s time for JBL’s victory celebration, meaning the ring is covered in red, white and blue. Orlando Jordan handles the introduction and the confetti cannons go off. JBL looks like Uncle Sam/Apollo Creed and comes to the ring in an open topped Cadillac just to complete the visual. He talks about some great Americans and brags about how awesome America is.

We take over countries because we can and because we should, since might has always been right. We do give to the poor nations who need a handout, but some Americans are weak. Like Batista, who ran away from JBL at Wrestlemania like a coward. JBL isn’t happy about Batista being on the cover of Smackdown Magazine. This is his show, but don’t worry because next month, there will be a new issue on the newsstand.

We see a new cover, with JBL holding the title over a fallen Batista. On Sunday, Batista is getting put down because there are legends and Hall of Famers, but there is only one wrestling god. Cue Batista to call JBL out for looking like an idiot. Batista calls him a phony and a bully so on Sunday, JBL is getting exposed. The fight is on and Batista cleans house, including putting on the Uncle Sam hat and jacket to end the show. They’re trying to do something with this, but JBL is little more than target practice for Batista and Guerrero vs. Mysterio is the real main event and they aren’t trying to hide it.

Overall Rating: C-. This show ran into the problem of not being able to do anything else with Mysterio vs. Guerrero. The story has been set up for a few weeks now and there isn’t anything left for them to do with it. Batista vs. JBL isn’t doing anything for me, but Christian vs. Booker should be good and…..yeah two matches are enough to carry a show, right? Not a great show here, but Eddie vs Benoit got us far enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 18, 2005
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re getting closer to Summerslam and that means things are picking up with some of the bigger stories. You can guess a lot of the Raw matches from here and that means they have a clear directive going forward. Now the question is how well they can make those goals work. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Lilian Garcia announces an Intercontinental Title match but here’s Eric Bischoff to cut her off. We see a clip of John Cena giving him an FU last week and that’s not cool with Bischoff. He’s thought about firing Cena but instead he has some better punishment. Tonight, it’s Cena vs. Gene Snitsky in a lumberjack match. Sounds like punishment to me.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title: Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin

Benjamin is challenging and the title can change hands via countout. Carlito knocks him into the corner for some stomping to start but Shelton nails a running clothesline and the Stinger Splash. The springboard shoulder puts Carlito on the floor so he considers leaving, only to pause so Shelton can hit the clothesline off the apron. Shelton gets caught on top though and Carlito stomps away in the Tree of Woe. We hit the waistlock to stay on the ribs but Shelton fights back up and hits the Dragon Whip. That’s fine with Carlito, who hits him low for the DQ, because we need to do this AGAIN next week.

Rating: C-. I’m completely over seeing these two fight and now they’ve set up another rematch. Shelton should have come off his huge Intercontinental Title reign and moved up to the main event scene but instead he’s stuck coming up short to Carlito over and over. The match wasn’t even good and you could guess the ending as soon as they mentioned the countout stipulation.

We look at Shawn Michaels’ explanation and superkick to Roddy Piper from last week.

It’s Kurt Angle Invitational time but first, Kurt talks about how he gave us some drama last week. He was never in any danger of losing to Matt Striker but let the clock get down to a second left to make the fans believe they could see a miracle. Like the Eagles winning the Super Bowl! Anyway get the opponent out here. Cue Matt Striker again, who calls himself Matt Martel again, this time claiming to be from Philadelphia. The fans cheer for him because HE SAID THE CITY’S NAME! Angle explains the whole thing and calls out the lies so there’s no match. Or maybe we can, with Angle jumping him from behind.

Kurt Angle vs. Matt Striker

Angle hits an uppercut but Striker pulls a choke out of nowhere to put Angle down. That stays on for about a minute and a half until Angle throws him off. The Angle Slam and ankle lock finish Striker at 2:35. I have no idea why they needed to do the exact same deal again but with less drama.

It’s Diva Search time, but before we get to the elimination, we need thirty seconds each to hear who they would vote off.

Ashley: Cameron, because she would be better off on a runway in Paris.

Leyla: Simona, because she doesn’t have what it takes to be a Diva.

Summer: Simona, because she belongs on the cover of Vogue instead of being a Diva.

Kristal: Elizabeth, because she’s too talented of a dancer and actress to be here.

The BORING chants began right around here in case you were wondering.

Elizabeth: Kristal, because she is a great painter and should explore that instead.

Simona: Summer, because she would make a great lingerie model instead.

Cameron: Ashley, because she’s tough and hardcore and would be better as a street fighter.

Simona is voted off as at least these things are getting a little shorter each week.

The Boogeyman is still coming.

Kerwin White, with his golf club, is in Bischoff’s office. Eric suggests that White try Scottsdale, Arizona for all of its golf courses. White: “That’s a little too close to the border.” Chris Jericho comes in so White leaves, allowing Bischoff to thank Jericho for standing up to him last week. Jericho has an idea of how to stick it to Cena: a BATTLE OF THE BANDS next week! So we’re getting concerts and the Divas in one week? And this is their BEST idea of how to draw an audience?

Shawn Michaels isn’t worried about Hulk Hogan being here tonight. He gave the fans what they wanted by having Hogan wrestle one more match so now let’s see what Hogan has.

Masterlock Challenge for $20,000, Rosey accepts and loses, Masters says it doesn’t matter how big you are, Big Show comes out, Masters turns it down, takes about seven minutes total.

Edge isn’t worried about facing Kane in a cage tonight but it’s going to keep all of the other psychotic losers out. He has spent the last six months listening to geeks on keyboards telling them how to live their lives and that’s CENSORED. Of note: Edge refers to Lita as his girlfriend, meaning the whole engagement deal is over. So much for trying the wedding again.

Here is Hulk Hogan to respond to Shawn Michaels’ challenge from last week. We pause for the long form Hogan chants before Hogan can thank the fans for making Hogan Knows Best the highest rated premiere ever on VH1. Last week, Shawn Michaels superkicked him to get his attention. Well now Shawn has it, but if he wants an answer to his challenge, come see him face to face.

Cue Shawn to apologize for stealing just a bit of Hulk’s thunder, but that’s what he’s all about. He would get in the ring to join Hulk but if he did, we would have to wait another two weeks for Hogan to wake up from some more Sweet Chin Music. Shawn has heard people promising to end Hulkamania for years but it has never happened.

So what makes Shawn different? Then it hit him: he has never faced someone with the unbridled passion that Shawn possesses. No one has taken Hogan to that other level because everyone falls prey to the myth of Hulkamania. Shawn doesn’t see it though and thinks if Hogan accepts the challenge, he’s going in there with the main event, the icon and the showstopper.

Hogan talks about paying the price in this business WAY before Shawn started wrestling. When Shawn was graduating high school, Hogan was selling out the Philadelphia Spectrum. The challenge is accepted for Summerslam and Hogan hits the catchphrases. This wasn’t very good, as Hogan vs. Michaels isn’t exactly a match that needs a big, epic story. It kinds of sells itself and they would have been better going in that direction.

Jericho gives the lumberjacks a pep talk, encouraging them to get a little physical with Cena if they’re given the chance.

Kane vs. Edge

In a cage with Lita at ringside. Hold on though as Matt Hardy jumps the barricade before the match and tries to get at Edge but security takes him down. Edge even gets in a kick to the ribs and a lot of beeping ensues. We’re joined in progress with Kane cutting off an escape attempt but getting taken down with the Edgecution. This time it’s only good for two as Kane is right back up with the uppercut and side slam.

Edge is back up to catch Kane on top and they slug it out until Edge hits a spear against the cage. A splash against the cage makes it worse but Edge still has time for a quick kiss from Lita. Kane is busted open a bit but he’s fine enough to throw Edge face first into the cage. There’s another side slam and the top rope clothesline connects, giving us a very bloody smile. Edge tries to get out over the top, earning himself a crotching on the rope.

A running big boot sends Edge head first into the cage again but a low blow breaks up a chokeslam attempt. Another attempt at a climb is countered with a hard powerbomb for two but Edge sends him into the cage again. The spear gets two so Edge crawls to the door, only to get pulled right back in. Lita slips him the briefcase but it’s a chokeslam to put them both down. Kane goes up, leaving his back open for some briefcase shots. A big briefcase shot to the head lets Edge climb out for the win.

Rating: C. They hit each other a lot, they did their signature stuff, and there was no reason to believe that Kane was ever going to win. As soon as Matt Hardy showed up again, Kane became obsolete in this feud, which isn’t much of a fall as he was hardly a big deal for Edge over the last few weeks. Just get on to Matt so Kane can do something else.

Smackdown Rebound.

Maria asks John Cena if he’s worried about fallen trees in his lumberjack match. Cena makes penis references and asks Maria to go get his flannel shirt. Maria leaves and after a confused face from Cena, he makes some gay jokes about Bischoff and Jericho and promises to be violent.

Next week: a Battle of the Bands and Edge vs. Kane in a stretcher match. Why? Well what else are they going to do?

John Cena vs. Snitsky

Non-title lumberjack match. Snitsky gets smart (I’m surprised too) by sending Cena outside for the short form beating. Cena sends him outside for a change and it’s exactly what you would expect. Back in and Cena hits a backdrop, only to be sent outside again for a second beating. Cena is so annoyed that he dives outside again and tries his luck but gets sent into the barricade.

We take a break and come back with Cena in a cobra clutch after another beating during the commercial. A spinebuster puts Cena down again but he starts the comeback, only to get pulled outside by Jericho. That means some rams into various things so Snitsky can hit another cobra clutch. Cena comes back again but has to deal with Jericho, meaning it’s a heck of a clothesline to give Snitsky two.

The chinlock goes on so Cena comes back AGAIN, this time with Kurt Angle running in to break it up while the referee is distracted. The lumberjacks beat Cena up again to give Snitsky two so Cena grabs a DDT. Cue Shelton Benjamin and Big Show to lead the charge of some good guys to go after the lumberjacks. With everyone else gone, Cena FU’s Snitsky for the pin.

Rating: D-. They could have shaved off ten minutes or so from this and done almost the same thing. Cena was trying as hard as he could here but Snitsky’s peak ring time is about four minutes. I’m not sure how many times they did the same sequences (lumberjack beatdown, rest hold, Cena gets cut off by interferences) but they had me running out of patience in a hurry. Really boring match that felt even longer than it was.

Jericho is stunned to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show was a really weak effort as they seemed to be repeating almost everything (Carlito vs. Shelton, Striker vs. Angle, the Diva Search, Kane vs. Edge) and nothing was worth seeing. It was almost like they took the week off here and the last half was really hard to sit through. This was one of the weakest shows they’ve had in a long time and I don’t particularly want to see how bad next week is going to be.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: July 14, 2005
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Things got a lot more interesting/controversial last week with the whole Muhammad Hassan/Undertaker situation. I’m not sure how they can follow up on that given all of the fallout that comes from it but it should be interesting. We are also ten days away from the Great American Bash, which doesn’t have much of a card yet. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Batista vs. JBL, which doesn’t exactly make me think the title is in jeopardy. This also means another look at the Blue Meanie beating JBL, which somehow wasn’t the most interesting thing that happened last week.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Eddie Guerrero to get things going. After taking a few minutes to soak in some hatred, Eddie says Rey Mysterio isn’t here tonight. See, Rey thought that he was going to be able to avoid being humiliated tonight by not being here, but that’s not how it works. All that matters is that Eddie knows something Rey wants to keep from everyone from knowing. We see a clip of Eddie making Rey beg him for mercy last week. Eddie: “You should have seen what I planned out for this week!” Eddie isn’t done yet though because he wants to talk to Rey’s son Dominick.

After ordering Tony Chimmel to give up his chair, Eddie has a seat and talks about a boy named Dominick who lived a long time ago and far away. Then one day, Dominick went out into the woods to play….but here are Eddie’s wife Vickie and their kids. Eddie goes to the floor and introduces his family to the crowd before screaming at them to go to the back. Vickie says this is getting out of hand and this secret, whatever it is, needs to be kept quiet because it could hurt a lot of people, including Rey. Eddie grabs her by the neck and forces her to the back in an uncomfortable moment.

Post break, Eddie yells about how this is what he does and Vickie needs to worry about the girls like she is supposed to. Hardcore Holly of all people tries to intervene and gets shoved away. Vickie is put into the card and, despite protesting the whole time, drives away with the kids.

Mexicools vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Paul London/Funaki

Super Crazy stars with London and gets chopped up against the ropes, only to have Juvy get in a knee to the back from the apron to take over. Juvy comes in to work on the armbar and it’s Super Crazy coming in as well for a double basement dropkick to Scotty’s head. Scotty tries to fight out of the corner as Cole freaks out over not knowing what THE JUICE means.

Juvy gets knocked down and the diving tag brings London back in. Some dropkicks take the Mexicools down and it’s a belly to back suplex to drop Juvy again. Psicosis and Crazy break up the 450 though, allowing Crazy to hit his own moonsault. Juvy’s 450 is enough to put London away.

Rating: C-. So the Mexicools have finally debuted and….yeah it’s three good luchadors in a trios match. I’m not sure what this was supposed to accomplish other than getting their foot in the door because they weren’t all that impressive. At the same time though, how far has London fallen since winning the title? I know it doesn’t mean anything but good grief. Drop the title if that’s how worthless they see it being.

Christian hits on Candice Michelle by offering any help she may need but Booker T. and Sharmell interrupt. Booker isn’t impressed so Christian tells him to back off. A match is set for later.

Batista talks about watching Smackdown while he was on Raw, where he saw JBL as a loudmouthed bully. At the Great American Bash, the bully is getting beaten up and getting an attitude adjustment.

Melina tells MNM that she’ll catch up with them in the ring. She goes over to Torrie Wilson and isn’t happy with a fan asking Torrie for an autograph. Whatever Torrie can do, Melina can do it better. They’ll fight at the Bash and let’s make it a bra and panties match.

Heidenreich comes out for a match but gets jumped by MNM. Heidenreich gets posted so Melina asks where his friends are now. Cue Road Warrior Animal of all people for the save, because the Legion of Doom has a new DVD out and we need to promote it somehow. To be fair though, the fans do go nuts for him.

MNM bails so Animal grabs the mic and plugs the DVD before saying he doesn’t like MNM declaring themselves the best team of all time. Mercury calls Animal old and gives the Road Warriors a title shot at the Bash. Nitro: “We can’t do that. His partner is dead!” Animal is ready to snap but Heidenreich calms him down and offers to team with him at the pay per view. The match is made.

We look back at the opening segment with Eddie getting creepier than usual.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Hardcore Holly

They start with the shoving again until Eddie chops him in the corner. More chops against the ropes have Holly in trouble but another corner version misses. Holly knocks him to the floor and we take a break. Back with Eddie chopping away some more until Holly armdrags him into an armbar.

A drop toehold sends Holly face first into the buckle so it’s time to step on Holly’s face. Eddie’s figure four necklock is powered up into an electric chair and they’re both down. Holly hits a backdrop and dropkick for two, followed by a full nelson slam for the same. A top rope clothesline gets the third two in a row but the Alabama Slam out of the corner is blocked.

That’s fine with Holly, who hits his kick to the very low ribs. They head outside with Holly going shoulder first into the post and back first into the apron. The referee gets poked in the eye, probably not by mistake, and Eddie hits Holly in the knee with a pipe. A Texas Cloverleaf makes Holly tap.

Rating: C. I know Holly gets some eye rolls at times but he can wrestle a fine match like he did here. Granted it’s against Eddie Guerrero so it’s almost guaranteed to be at least decent, but Holly held up his end as well. It’s also a nice sign to have Eddie’s jealous madness getting to other people as well, which it really should at this point.

Post match Eddie apologizes to Vickie and says she knows he would never hurt her or the kids. Now, he’s going to prove how much he loves Vickie by giving Rey a chance. They can fight again at the Bash (they’re booking this show in a hurry tonight) and if Rey beats him, the secret will never be told. If Eddie wins though, the secret is coming out.

Muhammad Hassan is not here tonight, but we will have a prepared statement from Hassan’s attorney.

Post break here is the attorney for the statement. You can tell he’s an attorney because he wears a suit, has a briefcase, and the announcer tells us that he is an attorney. Oh and he stops to put on reading glasses before clearing his throat. His name is Thomas Whitney Esq. and the statement talks about Hassan taking a break from Smackdown due to everything that has happened in the last week.

Hassan has American rights and it is a sad day when he has to retain an attorney to protect those rights. Hassan will not be back until after he defeats the Undertaker at the Great American Bash….and there’s the gong. One long entrance and a beating later and we’re done. Whitney wouldn’t be done in wrestling, though it helped a lot when he shaved his head and changed his name to Tommaso Ciampa.

Christian vs. Booker T.

Hold on though as Christian jumps him from behind in the aisle. Booker is sent into various steel objects (steps, post) but the referee lets the match start anyway. Therefore, the Unprettier finishes Booker in about fifteen seconds.

The Boogeyman is coming.

Great American Bash rundown, with Christian vs. Booker T. as the fourth match added during this show.

Here’s Orlando Jordan with JBL for the main event, but first JBL needs to rant about last week. That was a humiliating night for him as he was beaten up by someone who should have bought a ticket to see him. The Great American Bash is his pay per view and we will see what the Wrestlemania main event should have been. There are all time greats, but there is only one wrestling god.

Batista vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title. Batista starts with the shoulders in the corner before hitting another one in the middle of the ring. Jordan gets back in but JBL offers a quick trip to pull Batista outside. That means a whip into the steps (popular weapon tonight) so Jordan can start working on the knee to take over. An argument with the referee lets JBL wrap the leg around the post to keep Batista down.

Jordan lays on the leg but Batista pops up for the shoulders in the corner. A powerslam plants Jordan but JBL has to be knocked off the apron. With JBL dispatched and the referee bumped, the spinebuster into the Batista Bomb….is broken up by a JBL chair shot. That gets a close two so JBL tries the Clothesline, only to get knocked away without much effort. Now the Batista Bomb can finish Jordan.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t a very good match but it also set up some things for the future. This was about setting up Batista vs. JBL at the Great American Bash, which may not be sounding like the most thrilling match but it is something that gives Batista his first win as Smackdown Champion. There wasn’t much of a sweat over Jordan, but was there really supposed to be one?

Post match JBL kicks Batista in the bad knee and hits the Clothesline. Posing with the title ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a show that illustrated how weak things could be. Other than Eddie/Rey, there isn’t much on here that I really want to see. There did set up a lot of stuff for the Bash, but it includes what will be a nacho break match and Animal getting a title shot (the LOD was great but Animal and Heidenreich…..not exactly). The top half of Smackdown is going to be very good but outside of that, I’m really not sure how the rest of the show is going to go. One or two strong angles can carry a show, but if one of those doesn’t work, they’re in big trouble. Not a terrible show, but the lack of depth is showing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6