One Night Stand 2006 (2020 Redo): Another Kind Of Show

IMG Credit: WWE

One Night Stand 2006
Date: June 11, 2006
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Attendance: 2,460
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s time for another ECW show, but this one is a good bit different than what we had last year. While last year’s show was a seemingly stand alone reunion, this is more of a launchpad for the ECW relaunch. The big main event is Rob Van Dam cashing in his Money in the Bank contract for the WWE Title shot but there is also a heck of a grudge tag match between Mick Foley/Edge vs. Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer. Let’s get to it.

Here’s a very emotional Paul Heyman to get things going. He thanks the wrestlers who wanted to be hardcore instead of a superstar and declares that the tribe of extreme has risen again. This time the Kool-Aid is being poured down the throats of a new generation because they’re back on TV (Heyman: “With a much better deal than we had last time.”) this week on Sci-Fi. This is all because of the fans and Heyman thanks every single one of them. We wrap it up with this show being better than Raw and Smackdown because it’s the only way to finish something like this. You could see how much this means for him and it’s great.

Opening sequence with that still awesome ECW On TNN song.

Tazz vs. Jerry Lawler

Lawler comes out with that great evil grin of his and you know he’s loving this kind of a reaction. He does make sure to go over and slap Joey Styles (I’d cheer for that), who jumps into the ring to choke Lawler. That’s broken up so Lawler tries the piledriver, earning himself the Tazmission for the choke out in about thirty seconds. Exactly what it should have been and probably had to be given Tazz’s health issues.

We look at WWE vs. ECW Head To Head with Big Show joining ECW in a nice surprise.

Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Orton’s entrance gets pyro and Joey is aghast at the great heel touch. Angle gets a heck of a reception of his own. Orton bails to the floor after Orton tries to go low on him, causing the fans to call him a certain nickname for a cat. Back in and the early stages of an ankle lock sends Orton right back to the floor as he can’t figure out how to start here. This time around Orton gets headlocked takeover as the fans chant F*** YOU ORTON.

Back up and Orton bails to the floor again as the fans are all over him for the fourteenth time. Orton heads back in and gets smacked in the face, which the fans describe as being B**** SLAPPED. Angle takes him down on the mat again and then offers Orton his head for a headlock. That just earns Orton a belly to back suplex as Angle is toying with him. Angle misses a charge into the post though and Orton finally gets a chance.

The fans implore Angle to F*** HIM UP so he slams Orton down without much effort. A hard whip into the corner cuts Angle down again and a knee drop gets two. Orton fights out of a choke attempt as the fans say he swallows. The chinlock keeps Angle down and the fans immediately dub it boring. Angle fights up and sends him into the corner, setting up the German suplex to a big pop. They trade uppercuts until Angle rolls the German suplexes to put Orton down again.

Orton’s dropkick gets two but the Angle Slam gets the same. Fans: “BREAK HIS ANKLE!” The ankle lock is broken up in a hurry and Orton’s backbreaker is good for two more. Orton goes up top for the high crossbody but Angle rolls through for another near fall. A clothesline blasts Angle but he counters a cradle into the grapevine ankle lock for the tap.

Rating: B. I know Orton might not be the most popular guy but he’s capable of having some very good matches when he’s in there with the right person. Angle is on a roll at this point though and this was the Wrestling Machine version. I know he’s an outsider and such, but Angle has so much intensity that you can believe he’s all in on ECW. I bought it and they had a pretty great match to really start the show off.

The fans are ALL OVER Orton as he is carried out.

FBI vs. Super Crazy/Tajiri

It’s Little Guido/Tony Mamaluke with Big Guido for the FBI. Well at least it’s not losing to Vito in a dress on Smackdown. Mamaluke goes for Crazy’s arm to start and then flips over with a hammerlock as Joey goes into his “I get to call moves now” deal. Crazy hiptosses Mamaluke down as we hit the NACHO LIBRE chants. Mamaluke grabs a short armscissors but Crazy powers him up and hits a big faceplant. Guido and Tajiri come in and it’s time to start the rapid fire (and hard) kicks.

The Fujiwara armbar has Tajiri in the ropes but he’s right back up to crank on the leg for a bit. Guido gets put in the Tree of Woe so Mamaluke comes in for the save, only to get tied up as well. Crazy and Tajiri hit the stereo dropkicks to send the FBI to the floor and Crazy hits the Asai moonsault. Big Guido jumps Crazy though and the little one sends him into the barricade. Back in and Crazy tries a backdrop but holds the leg a bit, making it a backdrop/flapjack combination.

After that near disaster, Mamaluke holds Crazy in face for a hard dropkick from Guido. Crazy is fine enough to hit a regular flapjack for the hot tag to Tajiri. Guido has to save Mamaluke from a Black Widow so Tajiri starts kicking everyone down. The FBI are whipped into each other and it’s a pair of Tarantulas. Big Guido comes in and gets kicked down just as fast, only to have Crazy get kicked out to the floor. A double fisherman’s buster finishes Tajiri.

Rating: C+. These guys worked well back in ECW and they still have it here. They had a fast paced match with Big Guido offering just enough interference to keep Tajiri and Crazy looking strong in defeat. There’s a reason that these matches were so popular back in the day and they still work well here.

Post match here’s Big Show to clean out all three Italians in a hurry.

Here’s JBL in the balcony to run down ECW as only he can. JBL talks about how Rob Van Dam is only becoming a star because of Vince McMahon and ECW is going to the Sci-Fi channel. Tazz is going with them, but he’s lucky to be leaving because JBL is going to be taking Tazz’s place on the Smackdown commentary team. JBL is perfect for this and much like Heyman, you can feel that he believes a lot of what he is saying.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Sabu

Mysterio is defending and it’s under Extreme Rules. They both have chairs during the Big Match Intros but the referee makes them put them down for some reason. Instead Sabu goes for the leg to start but then they come to their senses and grab the chairs. After a quick duel, Mysterio gets sent into the corner for Air Sabu. Mysterio does the same thing into a hurricanrana but it’s too early for the 619.

Instead Sabu chairs him to the floor and it’s already time for a table. Sabu bridges it between the apron and the ring but Rey is back up with a top rope moonsault press back inside. Rey gets caught in the ropes though and Sabu hits a quick top rope legdrop for two more. The Arabian Facebuster gets two so Sabu sets up another table at ringside, only to get caught with a springboard seated senton through the wood.

Rey seems a little banged up as well but he’s fine enough for a springboard Fameasser for two. Back up and Sabu hits a springboard leg lariat into the Triple Jump Moonsault (mainly landing on Rey’s face) for two more. Rey tries another 619 but gets a chair pelted at his head instead. Sabu puts him on the table and Rey stands up, meaning it’s a running springboard DDT through the table….and here are the officials to say the match is thrown out.

Rating: B-. A no contest stoppage. In ECW. Meaning Mysterio can’t even win in another promotion. It’s kind of a shame as they were having a heck of a match until the end but at the same time, do you really want to risk Sabu being out there that much longer? The Mysterio stuff is what it is and while you knew Sabu wasn’t going to win the title, maybe it shouldn’t be booked in the first place to avoid Mysterio not winning either.

We recap Mick Foley/Edge vs. Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer. Foley and Edge had a hardcore classic at Wrestlemania so they joined forces and declared themselves co-Hardcore Champions. Foley then ran down the history of ECW, saying that he and Edge had surpassed anything that they had ever done. Terry Funk came out and stood up for both hardcore and to Foley, who saw him as a father figure. Since ECW was mentioned, Dreamer came as the story’s pack-in wrestler so it’s time for a tag match.

Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk vs. Mick Foley/Edge

Extreme Rules. Lita is here so Beulah McGillicutty is out with Dreamer and Funk. Before the match, Beulah says that she’s shocked to see what comes out of Lita’s mouth being worse than what goes into it. Since Lita likes threesomes, let’s make this a six person tag.

Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk/Beulah McGillicutty vs. Edge/Mick Foley/Lita

Extreme Rules. Dreamer and Edge grapple to no avail so it’s off to Funk to slap Foley around a bit. Everything breaks down and Dreamer gets to spit some beer into the air while Funk hammers Foley against the barricade. It’s time to bring in the weapons with Dreamer and Funk cleaning house in a hurry. Foley unloads with right hands against the barricade and Edge ladders Dreamer in the face. The spear into the ladder is countered with a hiptoss though and Funk comes back in with the helicopter ladder.

Funk goes up but gets shoved down for the huge crash. Lita kicks Dreamer low to break up the Death Valley Driver so the fans dub her a crack w****. It’s time for the barbed wire board and Dreamer is slammed down onto it, with his arm being caught in it for a nasty visual. Edge and Foley pick it up but Funk trips them down, sending the wire face first into Foley’s face. Foley gets sent head first into the board but Edge is back up to crotch Dreamer onto the barricade.

Funk gets crushed with the barbed wire board and Foley wraps some wire around his arm. With Funk caught in the wire, Foley cuts the head open so Funk can crawl around and scream as only he can. Medics come out to get Funk to the back and it’s down to 3-2. Foley busts out the barbed wire baseball bat so Lita can drop a leg onto the bat between Dreamer’s legs. The fans want Sandman as Beulah is actually standing on the apron and reaching for a tag.

Rating: B+. I liked this way more than I was expecting to as they beat the heck out of each other and the women made things a little bit better. Foley was turning back the clock a bit here and Funk continues to be more and more amazing every time I watch him. There’s something so great and completely unique about him that you can’t take your eyes off of him no matter what he’s doing. Great stuff throughout.

Commentary is impressed as Funk has to be taken out of the wire and looks more annoyed than anything else.

Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka

Tanaka has a bad shoulder coming in but is fine enough to take Mahoney down with an early armbar. A running forearm in the corner rocks Mahoney, who comes right back out with a powerslam for two. The BALLS punches have the fans chanting along, with Joey comparing it to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Fair enough actually.

They head outside with Mahoney grabbing a beer and hitting Tanaka in the head. Tanaka sends him into the barricade (near a fan with a PORK sign) and hits a superplex back inside. Mahoney hits one of his own for two and it’s time for a chair duel. Tanaka’s shot misses though and Mahoney chairs him in the head for the pin.

Rating: C-. The ending made me cringe and this was nothing more than a filler match between the two main events but it worked out fine. Mahoney was popular with the fans and Tanaka almost had to be on the show after last year’s great match with Mike Awesome. Good enough match here and it did what it was supposed to do.

We recap Rob Van Dam vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Van Dam won Money in the Bank and is cashing in on some friendly grounds as he tries to jump up to the next level. Cena is ready to come into enemy territory and this might be a bit of a rough night for him.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam

Cena is defending under Extreme Rules and OH MY GOODNESS THE HATRED IS STRONG. The fans boo Cena so far out of the building, with the famous IF CENA WINS WE RIOT banner making it all the more perfect (mainly because these people would in fact riot). Cena tries to throw the shirt to the crowd but they throw it back four times, making him seem a little shaken, which you don’t see too often (then again, you don’t see a crowd like this very often either).

This is a level of hatred you don’t see very often but thankfully Van Dam does the finger pointing to get the focus off of Cena a bit. The fans throw toilet paper at Cena as the bell rings and there’s the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant. Cena gets a quick two off a fisherman’s suplex but the chants continue. Van Dam is back with a spinning kick to the face and the fans give him a WHOLE F***ING SHOW chant.

Back in the BOO/YAY punches are on with Cena knocking Van Dam outside. Fans: “SAME OLD S***!” Cena follows with a top rope ax handle to the floor and the fans still aren’t impressed. Since he knows how to be a bit of a heel when he wants to be, Cena holds up the title but Van Dam kicks him away. A moonsault off the apron brings up the RVD chants again but another one off the barricade is shoved into the crowd.

Cena does the bravest thing in his career by following him out but Van Dam is right back with the spinning kick to the back over the barricade. Van Dam hits the slingshot legdrop on the apron and there’s the skateboard dropkick to drive a chair into Cena’s face. Rolling Thunder onto a chair onto Cena gets two but Cena gets the chair up to block the split legged moonsault. The YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up again as Cena wedges a chair in the corner.

Van Dam goes head first into said chair for two and Cena rubs the salt in with the Shuffle. The FU takes too long though and Rob scores with a spinwheel kick. Rob drops him onto the apron and hits a dropkick to the floor for another knockdown. It’s table time but Cena pulls him down into the STFU. The rope is grabbed, sending Cena into a shoving match because rope breaks shouldn’t matter here.

Cena decks the referee and throws in some steps to get more violent. A shot to the head gets two from a Smackdown referee but here’s a guy in a motorcycle helmet to spear Cena through a table in the corner. Of course it’s Edge and Rob is back up with the Five Star, with Paul Heyman running in to count the pin to give Van Dam the title.

Rating: B+. This is a great example of a match that is carried even higher by the crowd reaction. The fans hated Cena and everything he represented, which made things that much better. They had a really good match on their own but the crowd reaction took it to another level. On top of that, it was a heck of a match because the two of them are able to bring it on the big stage under the bright lights. They had a lot of things going on here, and that’s how it should be in an ECW moment. Good stuff, and the only ending they could have had.

Rob is announced as the new ECW Champion and the huge celebration is on. The locker room comes out to celebrate with the champ as Heyman looks very pleased to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. All of the ECW stuff aside, this was a heck of a show and one of the better things that WWE has had in a long time. This felt more like a WWE show with a twist than an ECW show and in this case, that worked out well. Instead of having the ECW centered show, they focused on bringing WWE together with ECW and turned into something a lot more unique as a result. I really liked this one and it gives me hope for the ECW relaunch, though it’s going to be hard to top what they did here.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – June 9, 2006: That’s A Tempting Offer

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: June 9, 2006
Location: WesBanco Arena, Wheeling, West Virginia
Attendance: 2,900
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for One Night Stand, which will have quite the WWE presence. In Smackdown’s case, that means Rey Mysterio defending the Smackdown World Title against Sabu, but we have a full show to get through first, meaning he could lose again before we get to New York. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of John Tenta.

Miz welcomes us to the show and runs down the card, including Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay. He’s going to lose again isn’t he?

William Regal comes to the ring, which has the red carpet and a throne waiting for him. Regal throws us to a video on last week’s main event, plus King Booker and company beating Bobby Lashley down after the match and making him kiss Booker’s boot. With that out of the way, Regal hails King Booker but here’s Lashley to jump Regal from behind. Referees can’t break it up so here’s Teddy Long to make the match for later tonight. Short and to the point here.

Batista is back in 28 days.

See No Evil video.

Super Crazy vs. Brian Kendrick

Psicosis and Paul London are here too. We go to the quick feeling out process to start into a test of strength. Kendrick is flipped over and they wind up on the mat with their hands locked and pop up their shoulders at two each. After that gymnastics routine is over, it’s off to an exchange of front facelocks for a bit more of the grappling. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gives Crazy two but Kendrick kicks him in the face for the same.

Crazy’s helicopter bomb gets two more and we hit the surfboard. With that broken up, Crazy kicks him in the face and cranks on both arms for a bit. Crazy hits a hard clothesline for two and it’s off to something like an STF. That’s broken up as well and Kendrick is back with a tornado DDT for two of his own. Kendrick heads up top but Crazy pulls him back down with a super C4 for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a weird one as Crazy basically squashed him with Kendrick only getting in a little offense here and there. That being said, there’s a big difference between a Tag Team Champion getting pinned in a singles match so it’s nowhere near as bad, but champions are having a really hard time around here as of late and they might want to work on something new.

Post match here’s Great Khali to wreck everyone.

Paul Heyman has offered Rey Mysterio a lot of money to jump to ECW. More on this later.

Finlay doesn’t want to talk about his leprechaun because he’s ready to fight Mysterio tonight.

Vito, in his dress, comes into the locker room and everyone but Nunzio clears out in a hurry. Nunzio doesn’t like this but Vito says he’s the toughest man in the locker room and the toughest man to wear a dress. He has protected Nunzio for years but tonight he’s beating him up. Points to Vito for selling it but I don’t see this being a big positive for his career.

Raw Rebound.

Vito vs. Nunzio

Vito is in a dress and knocks Nunzio outside in a hurry. Back in and Nunzio gets stomped down in the corner, setting up a chinlock. Nunzio fights up with a middle rope dropkick but it’s a big right hand into the implant DDT to give Vito the easy pin.

Mr. Kennedy is back tonight.

Bobby Lashley vs. William Regal

Non-title and King Booker is watching from the throne. Also, if Lashley wins, he gets Booker next week. Regal jumps Lashley during the entrances and they head inside with Regal hammering away, only to get run over with a hard forearm. The suplex puts Regal down again but Lashley gets sent into the ropes, with his leg getting tied up. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Regal knocks him down again and puts on….well it’s not near the chin and there is no locking so it’s more like a nuzzle of the jaw.

Lashley fights up and hammers him down in the corner, even with Booker shouting to DO IT FOR THE QUEEN. Regal forearms Lashley against the ropes and hits a dropkick of all things for two. That’s fine with Lashley, who snaps off some suplexes but has the Dominator countered. Regal grabs the chair but gets speared down, which is enough to bring Booker to ringside. That doesn’t do much good though as it’s a countout to give Lashley the win.

Rating: D+. There’s nothing wrong with a classic “you have to beat him to get to me” though I’m a bit surprised that Lashley can’t pin Regal. At least they set things up well though and this could be the kind of match that fits in on one of those bigger non-pay per view cards. Then again we’ve seen the same match twice in a few weeks now so it doesn’t feel all that special at the moment.

Lashley grabs a mic and says “you’re mine”. Yeah there’s a reason he didn’t talk much.

Miz is in the ring to host a Divas bikini contest between Ashley, Jillian Hall (Miz: “She’s buoyant!”), Kristal and Michelle McCool. The first three disrobe, Miz makes jokes, and Michelle stands up for teachers who are being accused of having inappropriate relations with students because the teachers have needs too. Anyway, she leaves because no one should see her A+ body. Ashley wins.

Mark Henry vs. Raymond Rowe

Rowe charges into a clothesline and Henry hits some splashes in the corner. A pair of World’s Strongest Slams are good for the pin in a hurry. Rowe was beaten down so badly that he would wind up thinking he was a viking named Erik. Putting on a bunch of muscle and not looking like a chubby nineteen year old helped too.

Post match Henry promises to be coming for Mark Henry in 28 days in Philadelphia.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

This is Kennedy’s return after six months away and gets to hit his catchphrase before the match. Kennedy jumps him during the entrances but Scotty is back with a hiptoss. A heck of a clothesline gives Kennedy two as Tazz rants about Jerry Lawler. Kennedy runs him over again and finishes with the Kenton Bomb in a hurry.

Post match Kennedy hits the catchphrase again, showing off quite a bit of charisma, which makes up for a fairly lackluster match.

Chavo Guerrero checks on Rey Mysterio before his match and they swear their friendship again. Guerrero isn’t getting back in the ring though, even with Rey telling him that wrestling is in his blood.

We recap WWE vs. ECW Head To Head, with the main story being Big Show joining ECW. That was a better show than I was expecting.

Michael Cole is in the ring to talk about Paul Heyman’s offer to Rey Mysterio but Tazz gets in the ring to cut him off. Tazz has made his decision about going to ECW but first of all, he’s going to choke Jerry Lawler out on Sunday. For now though, Tazz is going home and is walking out on Smackdown, meaning he’s done with commentary.

Cue Heyman to hug Tazz as Cole looks stunned. With Cole back on the floor, Heyman talks about the offer to Mysterio, who can be back in ECW beyond a one night stand. Cue Mysterio to say that this is his home and this is where he’s saying. Heyman respects that and wishes him luck, which he’ll need.

Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title with Heyman joining Cole on commentary. Finlay powers him into the corner to start and hits a quick gutbuster. The hard clothesline sets up the nerve hold as Heyman thinks Finlay would work well on ECW. Back up and Rey snaps off a headscissors but it’s way too early for the 619. Instead Rey drives him into the announcers’ table but someone pulls Rey under the ring. The leprechaun comes out and tries to go after Rey until Finlay sends him back underneath the ring.

Back in and Finlay drops some elbows for two as Heyman talks about how many wrestlers got their starts in ECW. The camel clutch goes on, followed by a hard backbreaker to keep Rey in trouble. Rey gets sent to the apron and hammers away from the top (that’s a new one), followed by a kick to the head for two. A hurricanrana looks to set up the 619 but here’s Sabu with a chair. Rey kicks him down but Finlay gets in a Shillelagh shot and the Celtic Cross is good for the pin.

Rating: C. Have you ever seen a joke that just keeps going long beyond the point where it’s funny and then keeps going until it gets funny again? That’s not the case with Rey losing over and over, as he is now losing multiple matches in a week. The match itself was fine enough stuff because these are two talented people but Rey losing is now just a thing you deal with and that’s sad.

Post match Sabu puts Rey through a table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was all over the place and not in a good way. It felt like they were trying to figure out their top story and it got lost on the way to wherever they were going. You have the continuing saga of Rey losing all the time, King Booker’s rise and ECW. That’s quite a bit to get through and it feels like they’re jumping around a lot without any one big thing. ECW got the most focus, but that doesn’t exactly make me want to watch Smackdown. Not an awful show, but getting back to some structure is going to do it a lot of good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – June 5, 2006: The Face Looks Good On Him

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 5, 2006
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for One Night Stand and that’s a big deal, but at the same time, it is interesting to see what ECW is going to do when they come back full time. Last week, things got interesting when Paul Heyman announced that Kurt Angle would be joining the show. I could certainly go for more from Paul Heyman this week and hopefully that is what we get. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Shane McMahon comes in to see an anxious HHH, who is not looking forward to possibly joining Vince McMahon’s club. HHH is ready to explode but Shane says go talk to Vince and it’ll be fine.

Opening sequence.

Cena, barely able to contain his laughter, asks about the passionate fans before saying he is one. He isn’t going to be just handing over the title jack, but everyone knows that Van Dam is going to fight. Cena has fought and bled to keep it too though, so Van Dam better be ready. This soldier is locked in and ready to fight and they both sign. We get a handshake but Heyman says Cena has something else to do first. There is going to be a WWE vs. ECW battle royal so now it’s time for Cena to get a little preview.

Cue a bunch of ECW guys to surround Cena, who looks cool with it. Cena: “Hey Paul Heyman, let me guess: these guys are all here for John Cena autographs right?” Cena says he’s going down swinging so the fight is on until Sandman canes him in the head. Sabu grabs a chair and drives him through the table until Big Show and a bunch of other guys come in for the save. They’re doing something different with ECW this year and that’s a good idea. If nothing else, it makes more sense to have them go after Cena in a big swarm like this as no one is going to buy Cena as being in trouble against one or even two of them.

Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. Shelton knocks him down to start and fires off some knees in the corner. Carlito fights up and snaps off a dropkick, only to get kicked in the face for his efforts. We hit the early chinlock as Lawler thinks Carlito’s hair is a cry for help. That’s broken up for some clotheslines and the springboard elbow to Shelton’s jaw gets two. Shelton misses the Stinger Splash and the Backstabber gives Carlito the clean pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here, other than the champ losing clean in about four and a half minutes of course, because Shelton isn’t allowed to look impressive for any extended length of time. I’m still not wild on Carlito but they have to push someone as the next challenger and this is about as logical of a move as they have.

Video on See No Evil.

HHH reluctantly goes into Vince’s office but finds Coach, who goes to get Vince. The fact that there is a large photo of Shawn Michaels being forced to join the Club isn’t exactly encouraging. Post break, Vince comes in to talk about how awesome of a time he had in New York earlier this week, including a special sand blasting of a certain area. HHH shrugs that off and says this isn’t happening. That sends Vince into a rant about how HHH needs to lead the locker room by example, but we have a plan B. Instead, HHH can face the Big Show and if he wins, the whole Club thing is off the table. Let’s just have that match….now.

HHH vs. Big Show

HHH slugs away in the corner but charges into a gorilla press. Show gets low bridged to the floor though….and here’s the Spirit Squad to jump him for the DQ, meaning HHH’s Club deal is still on.

Post break HHH storms into Vince’s office and blames Vince for that, but Vince says a deal is a deal. If HHH doesn’t do it, he never gets any title shot ever again.

Eugene vs. Matt Striker

Before the match, Striker asks why Eugene thinks he can win. Eugene says he has a tutor, so here’s Jim Duggan of all people. Striker jumps Eugene from behind and hits a quick DDT for two. The chinlock goes on so Duggan starts the EUGENE chant, which means the comeback is already on. An airplane spin dizzifies Striker but he counters the Rock Bottom into a neckbreaker. Duggan’s flag waving distracts Striker though and Eugene hits a three point clothesline for the fast win.

Here’s hometown boy Kurt Angle for a chat. Angle knows he’s part of ECW but nothing was going to stop him from being here in Pittsburgh. Cue Mick Foley to interrupt and this could be interesting. Foley isn’t happy with Angle going for the blatant cheap pop like that because that’s his deal. Angle asks if Foley had a bunch of cash waved in his face to turn on ECW and says everything Ric Flair said about Foley was true. Angle: “WOO!” Foley brushes that off and says that he heard Angle was having an open challenge at One Night Stand. Paul Heyman said it though so it’s probably a lie. Angle: “Oh it’s true Mick, it’s d*** true!”

Angle knows Foley is in his tag match, but come answer the challenge and get another paycheck like a hair prostitute. Angle: “Speaking of hairy prostitutes, hi Lita!” Cue Lita to whisper something to Foley. That would be a special introduction, as here’s Edge as well. Edge talks about shaving Angle’s head and compares Angle to the Pittsburgh Steelers, but he’s really more like the Pittsburgh Pirates. Like, Willie Stargell for instance. Not the All-Star version of him, but the rotting corpse which has been dead for five years.

The trio gets in Angle’s face so Angle threatens to break Edge’s ankle. Edge: “Ok wrestling machine.” Edge talks about Angle’s history with ECW and thinks he would have been a better pick for ECW. He’s the #1 contender to the WWE Championship though and Angle won’t last two weeks in ECW. Angle promises to change the face of ECW and goes for Edge’s ankle. The Angle Slam cuts off Foley and the ankle lock has Edge in trouble until Lita makes the save. The trio bails so it’s Randy Orton running in for an RKO to drop Angle.

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During the break, Orton said he was accepting the challenge after Angle put him on the shelf for sixty days. I didn’t know Angle came in suspension form.

Lance Cade vs. Kane

Kane knocks him around without much effort to start and decks Trevor Murdoch off the apron for a bonus. The side slam sets up the chokeslam….and the lights go red with the old Kane mask appearing on screen. The mask says to come back so Kane walks up the ramp for the countout.

Cade and Murdoch celebrate so we got to the back where Kane says come fight him. The costumed Kane pops up behind him and beats the unmasked Kane down.

The Highlanders are coming but first it’s time for some shenanigans in New York. I liked these guys.

Charlie Haas vs. Johnny Nitro

Haas runs in and hits the ropes, knocking Lilian Garcia off the apron in a heap. Melina looks down at her and we cut to a shot of Haas in a hurry. Haas knocks Nitro into the corner to start but gets dropkicked outside. Melina rakes the eyes for a bit and Nitro kicks him in the back for two.

Nitro forearms to the back and grabs a cravate as the LILIAN chant begins, mainly because she is being helped to the back. Lawler manages to blame this on ECW as Haas monkey flips Nitro down onto his face. Haas rains down right hands in the corner until Melina comes in, intentionally falls down, and grabs her ankle. This is enough of a distraction for Nitro to grab a rollup for the pin, making Haas the dumbest wrestler in….well at least this week.

Rating: D+. That distraction ending was pretty awful as Haas looks like the biggest numskull imaginable. There wasn’t anything to the match either with Haas being his usual self and Nitro somehow needing help to beat him. Nitro’s Raw tenure hasn’t gone well, but at least he isn’t losing again.

Back from a break and we see Lilian being taken to the back after being knocked to the floor. Justin Roberts is taking her place.

Victoria vs. Beth Phoenix

Mickie James and Trish Stratus are here as well. An early distraction lets Victoria hammer away to start and a kick to the ribs sends her into the ropes. There’s a knee to the back for two more but Beth is back with a snap suplex. Some clotheslines set up a dropkick for two and Beth nails a side slam. Mickie offers a distraction though and Victoria grabs a rollup with tights (which are pulled WAY out of position) for two. Beth is right back with a Michinoku Driver for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match itself was just there, but what mattered here was Beth broke her jaw at some point but finished the match anyway. That would be it for her for over a year on Raw as she would need a bunch of surgeries and then get sent back to OVW for a bit. She hid the injury rather well, but she was grabbing her face as soon as the match was over. As you should probably do.

More on See No Evil.

Vince is looking forward to humiliating HHH again and tells Shane about the special treatment he has been giving his….it’s called an a**ial. Moving on.

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We look back at ECW beating John Cena down earlier.

Jerry Lawler has been hearing from Tazz for years and knows how bad a man Tazz is. Bad at wrestling that is because you aren’t allowed to choke in wrestling. ECW isn’t known for following the rules though, like you must be this tall to ride the roller coaster. Tazz says he has one last match in him, so Lawler promises to make One Night Stand Tazz’s last stand.

One Night Stand rundown.

HHH yells at Shane and says he isn’t doing this. Shane says Vince just wants respect and wants HHH to stand up to him. He hands HHH a water and calls Vince, but HHH switches waters with Shane because he’s not that stupid. Shane says everything is fine.

Here are Vince and Shane for the Club initiation. Vince runs down the history of the Club and talks about its various members, including Jim Ross and Shawn Michaels. With the required JR insults out of the way, here’s HHH, downing his water on the way to the ring. Vince says HHH can be the leader of the locker room by doing the right things as HHH starts looking a little shaky. HHH starts staggering and falls down, which Vince thinks means he needs to do some kissing. The pants come down but Shane collapses and HHH pops up. There’s the Pedigree (with the camera making sure to catch Vince’s full thong shot) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. They’re going hard with the ECW stuff, but it didn’t really feel like anything got a ton of focus here. There are some big matches set for the card but the idea is more that ECW is coming rather than focusing on any one match. That’s a good way to go and something you didn’t get last year with the original reunion. I like the direction so far and while this wasn’t the most focused show, I want to see the pay per view and that’s what matters most.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – June 2, 2006: He’s Here

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: June 2, 2006
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Things are certainly happening around here but I don’t know if I would call them interesting. We are a long way off from the Great American Bash, meaning we have all kinds of time for Rey Mysterio to lose but still hold up the title. The show is also in need of a replacement for JBL so maybe we can start that tonight. Or we could just go hard with King Booker. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the new Smackdown host: the Miz. After a HOO RAH, Miz runs down the card, including Great Khali in Piper’s Pit (oh dear). For now though, we can start with this. Who could have imagined what this would lead to over the years?

Opening sequence.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title, likely so Rey can lose again as Angle is on his way to ECW. Speaking of ECW, Paul Heyman joins commentary. Cole puts over the history here as Angle double legs Rey down without much effort. Angle cranks on the arm a bit and Rey looks shaken in a hurry. They do it again as Angle is running over him to start. It’s too early for the ankle lock as Mysterio gets to the ropes and then the floor, where the frustration is already setting in.

Back in and a headscissors takes Kurt down, which has him looking shocked. Angle takes him down by the leg again with almost no effort as Heyman promises a new vision for ECW. Rey manages to send him shoulder first into the post but Angle runs him over. The Angle Slam is countered with an armdrag to the floor though and it’s time to go toe to toe, plus to a break. Back with Angle dropping him with an uppercut as Heyman announces Mysterio defending the World Title against Sabu at One Night Stand.

Angle gets two off a suplex and a release German suplex gets the same. The bodyscissors goes on to work on the ribs but Rey gets to his feet and hits a dropkick. A DDT plants Angle and there’s a spinning headscissors to put him down again. Rey dropkicks him to the floor and a sliding headscissors has Angle down on the floor. The springboard seated senton gets two back inside but Angle snaps off a release German suplex to flip Rey upside down.

Rey grabs a rollup for two but Angle runs him over with a clothesline. The Angle Slam connects for two with Rey having to use the ropes for the break. Rey is right back with the 619 but Angle runs the ropes to break up the frog splash. A sunset flip is countered into the ankle lock, which is reversed with a rollup. Angle counters the 619 though and there’s an overhead belly to belly out to the floor for the countout.

Rating: B. They were getting going in the end and then Rey loses because that’s what he does to everyone but JBL. It wouldn’t be right to have Rey look like he can beat someone like Angle because the World Title means nothing while it’s on Rey. It’s annoying, but it’s what we’re stuck with for the time being. But hey, at least that unproven kid Kurt Angle looks good on his way to the new show.

Batista is back in five weeks.

Bobby Lashley is proud of his US Title and can’t wait to earn respect in all of his title defenses. Tonight, he’s starting with Booker T.

Nunzio needs Vito in his corner tonight.

Nunzio vs. Matt Hardy

Hardy works on the arm to start and takes him down to the mat for a headlock. A slam sets up an elbow for two but Nunzio is right back to the arm. Back up and Matt makes his comeback with clotheslines and the middle rope elbow to the back of the neck. The Twist of Fate is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here, likely to set up something between Nunzio and Vito. Nunzio is just there at this point and Matt….well he’s just there too but he has a better history. I’m not sure what else there is here, but the Vito in a dress thing is not likely to go well in the slightest.

Post match, indeed here is Vito in a dress to help Nunzio up, sending Nunzio running off in anger/disgust.

We look back at Mark Henry injuring Chris Benoit last week.

Miz introduces Roddy Piper for Piper’s Pit. He knows WWE calls him when something weird goes down and now he wants to see Great Khali in person. Cue Khali with Daivari so Piper asks how much English Khali speaks. Daivari says none so Piper tells Daivari to leave. Piper looks Khali over, including from behind, and makes a Brokeback Mountain reference. First question: what does Khali eat? Daivari: “People the size of you!”

Piper wants to know where Khali is from and then makes elephant noises upon hearing the jungles of India. Piper talks about how tough Undertaker is but Daivari says Khali is the new superstar of “the World Wrestling Entertainment.” Hold on though as Piper wants to speak eye to eye with Khali so he gets on the middle rope. Khali grabs him by the throat but Daivari calls him off. Piper slaps Daivari so Khali hits the big chop to knock Piper out.

Jillian Hall vs. Kristal

Ashley Massaro, now on Smackdown, is on commentary to talk about the Diva Search. They lock up to start with Jillian grabbing a headlock takeover but Kristal reverses into one of her own. Jillian’s dropkick gets two and a snapmare is good for the same. Back up and Jillian rubs her face first into her cleavage before countering a victory roll for the pin. This was there for the looks and that works out fine enough. Jillian was trying and it could have been worse.

Post match here’s Michelle McCool (Cole: “Wow.”) to say she’s new around here too and promises to teach them how to be a real lady. Maybe she can teach the guys something about the birds and the bees. The glasses come off as she promises to make things a lot hotter. It felt like a bit of a Stacy Keibler knockoff but not as memorable (and more teacherish).

Mark Henry vs. Paul Burchill

Before the match, we take a closer look at Henry destroying Benoit, putting him on an indefinite hiatus. A big boot and two World’s Strongest Slams finish Burchill in a hurry.

Post match the destruction is on, with Burchill bleeding from the mouth to send him back to OVW.

Mr. Kennedy is back next week.

Finlay vs. Caden Matthews

Finlay hits him in the face to start and then nails a hard clothesline. The forearms to the ace in the ropes keep Matthews down and Finlay throws him outside. Something pulls Matthews under the ring so Finlay pulls him back out, setting up the Celtic Cross for the easy pin.

Post match the leprechaun comes out to beat on Matthews some more. Finlay throws him back underneath the ring.

Video on Sabu. It’s so weird to see this in WWE.

Tazz gets very serious and rants about Jerry Lawler insulting him. If Lawler is a man, come meet him at One Night Stand. Tazz has one more left in him so beat him if you can and survive if he lets you. It’s just an announcers feud but these two are both great talkers so we should be in for some nice promos.

King Booker vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title and Booker has Sharmell and William Regal, doing his ALL HAIL KING BOOKER, with him. Before the match, Booker introduces Queen Sharmell and sits on the throne like a king should (I guess?). They go face to face to start with Booker talking more trash and Lashley saying bring it on. Lashley powers him into the corner but Booker is back with some right hands.

That’s fine with Booker, who knocks him down and then grabs a suplex for two. Some chops against the ropes just annoy Lashley but a hot shot works a bit better for Booker. A snap suplex puts Booker down though and Lashley is back up with some more shots to the face. Lashley hits a belly to belly but charges into a knee. Not that it matters as Lashley grabs a running powerslam for the pin.

Rating: C-. They didn’t have time to do anything here but what we got was good enough. Lashley gets a win to even things up after the pay per view and doesn’t lose in his first match after becoming champion. At the same time, Booker can just point to the crown to keep his heat so it is hardly some devastating loss.

Post match Regal jumps Lashley and Finlay comes in to help with the beatdown. Booker adds the Book End and it’s time to bring the throne back in. With Booker sitting down, Regal and Finlay keep up the beatdown and force Lashley to bow. Booker isn’t done though and makes Lashley kiss his foot, meaning it’s time for Sharmell to shout ALL HAIL KING BOOKER (she’s no Regal) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. One of the most interesting things about going back and rewatching these shows has been seeing the arrival of these people, with people like Khali, Miz and the future Hornswoggle, plus the returning Kennedy, being on the list. They have been adding in some different people lately and it is making things feel different. That being said, other than Angle vs. Mysterio, this was a pretty skippable show, which is likely to be the case at the moment as we are a good length away from the next Smackdown pay per view.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – May 29, 2006: There Goes The Streak

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 29, 2006
Location: Tacoma Dome, Tacoma, Washington
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the way to One Night Stand and the top of the show is starting to take place. Given that it isn’t a traditional show, there is a good chance that we won’t be seeing much more than just the two main matches. I’m not sure what we’re going to see on the way there, but Rob Van Dam vs. John Cena needs some build. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the traditional Memorial Day video. That’s always nice to see.

Here’s Vince McMahon to get things going. He gets to the point by saying that losing HHH was like losing one of his own (maybe not the best illustration on Memorial Day) and we see HHH hitting Shane McMahon with the sledgehammer two weeks ago. Shane is still recovering but he has a lot of headaches. As for everything else, Shawn Michaels is no more because of what the Spirit Squad did to him last week.

After looking at Shawn’s knee being destroyed, Vince talks to Shawn at home, suggesting that the fans are chanting various insults at him. There is always a place for Shawn in WWE though. Maybe he could set the ring up or be a timekeeper or something like that. We also look at HHH turning on the Spirit Squad last week, which has Vince flabbergasted. Vince is ready to see HHH’s true colors tonight, as he faces Kenny.

Other than that though, Vince needs to announce a new General Manager, but there is no one who fits the requirements. Instead, here’s his new Executive Assistant: Jonathan Coachman. Coach comes out to announce some matches tonight, including John Cena vs. someone he has never faced before, Edge vs. Big Show, with the winner getting a WWE Title shot at Vengeance, and Shelton Benjamin defending the Intercontinental Title against Kane. Coach thanks Vince for the chance but Vince orders him to get HHH in his office right now.

Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin

Kane is challenging and knocks Shelton down before the bell to start fast. Shelton slips out of a suplex to start and hammers away, which earns him a big boot to the floor. We take a break and come back with Shelton holding a chinlock, thanks to posting Kane while we were away. Shelton kicks him in the head but Kane sits up and hits another big boot. There’s the side slam into the top rope clothesline.

The chokeslam is countered into a rollup but even the feet on the ropes isn’t enough to keep the title. The Dragon Whip is countered as well but the counter is countered into a spinning DDT. Shelton’s Stinger Splash hits Kane’s back so Shelton tries one to his face, which is countered into a chokeslam. That should be it, but here’s Kane’s old music and….a guy in a really bad Kane Halloween costume, complete with the old mask. The real Kane is even more confused and gets chokeslammed as the match was thrown out somewhere in there.

Rating: D+. What we got wasn’t too bad but I don’t see this Kane vs. Kane story going very well. The Undertaker vs. Undertaker idea didn’t work twelve years before this and something tells me that the modern version isn’t going to be better. If nothing else, at least find a better costume. Like the inverted red and black one which always looked great.

Post break, here’s what you saw pre-break, which might not be the best thing to remind the fans about.

Coach is looking for HHH but runs into Armando Alejandro Estrada, who offers Vince his services instead. With Coach gone, Viscera pins Estrada face first against the wall and swears vengeance on Umaga as I try not to imagine various thrusting motions.

HHH comes in to see Vince and tries to calm things down. Vince makes tonight’s main event a Spirit Jack match, with a Spirit Squad member in each corner. HHH: “You would do that for me?” He promises to bring a friend of his own, and happens to have his sledgehammer.

Umaga vs. Viscera

Umaga jumps him before the bell and sends Viscera face first into the ramp. They get in and the Samoan Spike finishes in thirty seconds. They kept cutting to Lilian Garcia because she and Viscera are still a thing.

More See No Evil stuff.

Torrie Wilson/Beth Phoenix vs. Victoria/Candice Michelle

Trish Stratus and Mickie James are the thirds. Beth and Victoria slug it out to start, with Lawler making “trading licks” jokes. Torrie comes in to help Beth with a double chop, followed by the Stink Face. Victoria slams her down and hands it off to Candice for a Vader Bomb. A dancing elbow gets two but another misses, allowing the hot tag to Beth to clean house. Beth knocks Victoria into Mickie and finishes Candice with a Michinoku Driver.

Rating: D. They did what they were trying to do here by introducing Beth and letting her get a win, though you can only get so far with Torrie and Candice working a good chunk of the match. They’re trying to do something new though and just adding Beth and Mickie is a great breath of fresh air. The division has needed that for years so maybe this can help.

Back from a break with Lawler ranting about how bad ECW, including several shots at Tazz, but here’s Rob Van Dam to interrupt. Van Dam doesn’t hit Lawler but does sit in on commentary, suggesting that Lawler hang up his boots like Tazz did. Wouldn’t that be just the same situation that Lawler is in now? Think this stuff through Rob.

John Cena vs. Johnny Nitro

Non-title and the Nitro, with Melina, push begins. That entrance really does make them seem like some of the biggest stars around. Melina gives Nitro a kiss on the cheek to start but Cena punches him in the face to get things going in a hurry. Nitro kicks him down and drops the breakdancing legdrop before hammering away in the corner. Lawler and Van Dam argue about ECW on commentary (you can tell Lawler really didn’t like it and that helps a lot) as Cena makes the comeback (about two minutes into the match), hits all of his signature stuff, and finishes clean with the STFU in a hurry.

Rating: D+. Well ok then. I understand that Nitro, a career tag guy so far, shouldn’t be beating or realistically even hanging with Cena, but maybe they shouldn’t put him against Cena in his singles debut. Aside from the legdrop and a few right hands, this was all Cena, who barely looked like he broke a sweat. I’m not sure I get this, as someone like Chris Masters or any other midcard heel would have been far more expendable and been able to do the same thing.

Cena and Van Dam have a staredown post match until Nitro sidesteps a charging Nitro to send him into Rob.

Here are Mick Foley, with the Hardcore Title, and Paul Heyman, at face to face podiums for a chat. Foley talks about Heyman calling him a prostitute last week and yeah Foley is guilty. If you’re here to see men of principles taking a stand, you’re in the wrong place. The only difference between ECW Mick Foley and WWE Mick Foley is Mick has traded up for a billion dollar pimp in Vince McMahon.

That brings him to One Night Stand, which is where Foley gets upset. How can ECW claim to be hardcore after he and Edge tore the house down at Wrestlemania? Either way, Foley wishes Heyman and his porn addicted, pot smoking band of Mick Foley wannabes with their show. Heyman says that would mean more if it didn’t come from a Terry Funk knockoff. Foley admits that Funk is the greatest wrestler he has ever seen and Dreamer was tough but they couldn’t do what he did. Heyman: “Pull a sock out of their crotch, put it on his hand and entertain Vince McMahon while he was in the hospital?”

Foley says Funk and Dreamer had “Bingo Hall Balls” because they would never venture to WWE (uh…..) and do what Foley did. Foley goes around to Heyman’s side and says you either left ECW as a drunk, a drug addict, a criminal or a corpse. Heyman just resents Foley for becoming the biggest star the industry has ever seen. That’s not true actually, as Heyman’s issue is that Foley is a w****.

However, Heyman wants Foley to understand the new vision for ECW. It isn’t just going to be about flaming tables and piledriving women (Heyman: “We’ll still have some of that.”) but as Foley knows, ECW is coming back full time (if that had been mentioned before, it was completely in passing). Anyone from Raw or Smackdown is welcome to jump over, but Vince has also given him two Draft picks, one from each show.

Foley says the Raw pick is going to be Rob Van Dam, because Rob really was, ahem, a high flier. Heyman: “The Kool-Aid comes in many forms Mick.” As for the Smackdown pick….Foley cuts him off, suggesting that it is going to be a scarred up Mick Foley ripoff. Actually it’s someone ECW has been wanting for some time and he’s here tonight: KURT ANGLE. Foley is ready to fight and is taken down in a heartbeat, setting up the Angle Slam to send Foley leaving.

There’s a lot to unpack here, and that’s a good thing. First of all, these two were the perfect picks for this argument as they are two of the best talkers ever and Foley can easily keep up with Heyman when he’s on. Heyman can get away with calling out Foley’s hypocrisy and make you believe every bit of it, which isn’t something everyone can do.

Then there’s the ECW relaunch, which is a pretty big deal of its own. Having big names come over will help it, but the one thing I always got out of it was that it wasn’t WCW, the AWA, WCCW or something else coming back or some new show. It was ECW, which does say something about the impact that it had. At the very least there was a nostalgia for it, which says a lot about a company that wasn’t really around that long. It’s cool to see it coming back, though I don’t know how much faith you could have put into WWE to do it right, even from here.

This Week In Wrestling History: Andre the Giant debuts, June 1, 1971. Dang it why can’t these clips be on the Network?

Edge vs. Big Show

Lita is here with Edge and the winner gets a World Title shot at Vengeance. JR: “This is a Wrestlemania like environment.” I don’t remember many #1 contenders matches at Wrestlemania. Edge ducks a chop in the corner to start and slugs away but the second chop attempt works rather well. Another chop puts Edge down but Lita grabs Show’s foot so Edge can slug away to no avail.

Show hits Snake Eyes but Edge manages to snap him throat first off the top. The charge sends Show head first into the buckle and Edge manages an Impaler. The spear is countered into a chokeslam attempt so Edge throws the referee down. Edge is sent outside and grabs a chair, which is swatted away. Lita gets in a low blow so now it’s a chair, setting up the spear to finish Show.

Rating: D+. We haven’t been having very good matches tonight but they are accomplishing their goals, which is much more important. Edge cheated over and over here but gets a title match out of it, which I’ll take over them just announcing his shot at Vengeance. This did what it was supposed to do and that is what matters most.

Yet another See No Evil video.

Smackdown Rebound.

HHH, with sledgehammer, runs into Vince, who takes the hammer away and says not tonight.

Kenny vs. HHH

The Spirit Squad is here too. HHH punches him down to start so Kenny bails to the floor. A neck snap across the top rope lets Kenny take over for all of a second before HHH runs him over again. The jumping knee to the arm region looks to set up the Pedigree but Mitch grabs the leg. Mitch is sent hard into the steps and some more of the Squad is knocked down as we take a break.

Back with Kenny still in trouble and HHH beating up the Squad for trying to help him up. The triple teaming puts HHH down for a change and Kenny gets two. A right hand into some choking from the floor sets up another right hand but Kenny is sent shoulder first into the post. More interference lets Johnny kick HHH in the face to give Kenny two and the group stomping is on again.

Back in and Kenny Tunes Up The Band but HHH counters (he’s seen it enough) with a DDT. A low blow cuts HHH down again though and it’s time to wrap the knee around the post a few times. Kenny starts pulling on the knee and drops some elbow but HHH kicks Mikey into the ropes to crotch Kenny down. The facebuster starts the comeback and HHH pounds away in the corner. There’s the spinebuster but the Pedigree attempt is broken up by more distractions. The next attempt is enough to finish Kenny off.

Rating: C-. While it was better than the rest of the matches on the show (the time helped a lot), this was a little bit too much HHH, as not only did he survive the 5-1 beatdown, but he won the match as clean as can be expected. It wasn’t the worst match, but HHH winning over these odds is kind of a lot to take.

Post match the beatdown is still on but HHH whips out a spare sledgehammer. HHH cleans house but here’s Vince to say next week, HHH joins his special club.

Overall Rating: D+. And there goes the hot streak, as they did advance stories in a logical way but it also included so many bad to very bad matches that the storyline stuff was overwhelmed. Throw in the double Kane thing and there was only so much that could be done. The Heyman/Foley showdown was rather good (as you might have guessed), but there were so many things that felt either shortsighted or just dumb that it was knocked backwards. Bad show, and hopefully not the start of a trend.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – May 26, 2006: All Hail

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 26, 2006
Location: Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past Judgment Day and Rey Mysterio is still World Champion. I’m not sure why that is going to be seen as a good thing as Mysterio was destroyed for weeks on end before surviving against JBL on Sunday. Next up is the Great American Bash but we have about two months before then. Let’s get to it.

Here is Judgment Day if you need a recap.

We open with a quick package on the pay per view.

Here’s JBL in the ring to call out Mysterio for a rematch right now. Mysterio comes out to say he would take on all comers, just like he did with JBL on Sunday. Rey: “AND I BEAT YOU!” Rey doesn’t see JBL defending his US Title so JBL says he’ll face anyone anytime. You really shouldn’t say that because Rey has an idea.

US Title: Bobby Lashley vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is defending and sends him into the corner to start. That earns him a hard stare and Lashley tosses him around. A big boot and some right hands in the corner have Lashley down but the Clothesline From JBL misses. Lashley spears him for the pin and the title in less than a minute and a half.

Post break JBL storms into Teddy Long’s office and grabs Long by the suit, shouting about everything that just happened. Long isn’t having that but he’ll make a deal: JBL vs. Mysterio for the title tonight, but if JBL loses, he quits Smackdown.

Tatanka vs. Simon Dean

This is Tatanka’s big debut as a member of the Lakota tribe. Dean, in lime green, cranks on the arm to start but gets chopped for his efforts. There’s a suplex as well but Dean takes him into the corner for some racial stereotypes. Tatanka slugs him down though and hits a running shoulder. The Wykea (slam into a spinning Rock Bottom) finishes Dean in a hurry.

Rating: D+. So yeah, it’s still Tatanka about fifteen years after the start of his original run, meaning it feels rather out of place. That and it just wasn’t very good in the first place, as Tatanka was only ok more often than not. It was just a quick match but I can’t bring myself to get all that interested in Tatanka.

Matt Hardy is in Long’s office when Paul Heyman comes in. With Matt gone, Heyman praises Smackdown but Long doesn’t trust him. He thinks Heyman is here to steal talent so Heyman leaves, seemingly with no issues.

Chris Benoit vs. Mark Henry

3 6 Mafia plays Henry to the ring. Henry shoves him around to start but Benoit is right back up (duh) with the series of chops. With Henry shoving Benoit again, Benoit tries and fails at the Crossface with Henry gorilla pressing him. Benoit slips out and goes for the knee, followed by an enziguri to really rock him. A dropkick puts Henry on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Benoit working on the arm but getting splashed in the corner. Henry hits a clothesline to the back of the neck and just steps on Benoit for a more basic offense. We hit the reverse chinlock and then do it again for a bonus. Henry lets go so he can miss a splash, allowing Benoit to grab the Crossface. They fight to the floor with Henry driving him into the post a few times….and getting disqualified as a result.

Rating: C. This was an interesting way to go as Benoit isn’t going to back down but it can be rather difficult to break Henry, giving us a surprisingly good match. Henry has a bad reputation but he can work well against the right kind of opponent, which is where Benoit shines. Not too bad here and the ending should set up a rematch.

Post match Henry does it again, causing Benoit to bleed from the mouth. Henry bends his back around the ropes until referees come out to break it up.

Here’s William Regal to host the official coronation for King Booker T. He brings out Booker and Sharmell, on the throne on the back of a trailer for a pretty big entrance. Regal reads a proclamation off a scroll, sneers at being in Bakersfield, and implores all of us to stand up and hail the new king. Sharmell says we all need to bow down and then gives him the robe and the crown. Booker declares himself king and introduces us to Queen Sharmell. Pyro goes off as Regal shouts LONG LIVE KING BOOKER over and over.

Nunzio asks Vito about rumors of him wearing a dress but Vito shrugs it off.

Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Nunzio/Vito

Non-title. Kendrick headlocks Nunzio to start and it’s London coming in for a forearm. Vito jumps him from behind though and it’s London getting beaten down in the corner. That doesn’t last long as London fights out and makes the hot tag to Kendrick. House is cleaned in a hurry with Vito being dropkicked to the floor, leaving Nunzio to take Sliced Bread for the pin.

Rating: C-. Completely simple formula based match here as London and Kendrick get their first win as champions. They’re good together with the high flying, fast paced style where it feels like they’re a unit working together to overcome the size difference and that will sever them well long term. It wasn’t a very good match, but it did its thing well enough.

Raw Rebound.

Mr. Kennedy is coming back. Good, as he was getting some momentum before he went away with his injury.

We look at Great Khali squashing Undertaker.

Chavo Guerrero says he has Rey Mysterio’s back and JBL isn’t winning the World Title.

Finlay vs. Paul Burchill

Finlay elbows him in the face and forearms him in the back to start before sending Burchill shoulder first into the post. The Celtic Cross finishes in a hurry.

Post match Finlay pulls up the ring skirt so a small man in a green suit can come out and attack Burchill. Finlay has to pull him off so the small guy can go back underneath the ring. Thus begins a rather long running career for someone who has appeared all over the world in WAY more characters than someone would likely expect.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Rey is defending and have Chavo Guerrero in his corner and if JBL loses, he quits. JBL forearms him down to start as the EDDIE chants are on fast. Rey is whipped into Chavo to knock him of the apron and the Clothesline From JBL connects for the pin….but Rey’s foot is on the rope. Geez people you don’t have to pin Rey all the time. We take a break and come back with JBL stomping Rey in the corner. A super fall away slam gives JBL two and he kicks Rey in the face a few times.

They head outside with JBL hitting another clothesline for two back inside. The sitout bulldog is countered with a crotching though and JBL adds a big boot on the ropes. JBL whips him hard into the steps and then hammers away back inside. Another fall away slam is countered into a DDT though and they’re both down. There’s the 619 but the West Coast Pop is countered into a powerbomb, meaning we hit those EDDIE chants again.

Three Amigos keep Rey down and he’s bleeding from the mouth to make it worse. With Rey down, JBL unhooks a buckle pad, which certainly won’t come back to haunt him. The referee goes to tie it back so JBL throws Rey into him in the corner. Rey gets JBL down for the 619 but JBL lands on the referee so Rey can’t do anything.

A low blow hits Rey so it’s time for a chair. Chavo tries to take it away and gets his head caved in but Rey hits him low and dropkicks the chair into JBL’s face. The tornado DDT (or spinning tornado DDT according to Cole, because there are all those non-spinning tornadoes) onto the chair sets up the 619 into Dropping The Dime to retain the title.

Rating: C+. Well at least Rey won. I mean, it took help from Chavo, a low blow and a chair to beat someone he beat less than a week ago and he did get pinned during the match. Somehow this is an improvement, and that really shows you how bad things are for Rey at the moment. On the other hand, JBL being beaten by a very small champion who is often associated with Mexican culture is the perfect way for him to go out, which he would do for over a year and a half.

Post match JBL gets the Goodbye Song to end the night.

Overall Rating: C. I’m not sure what to make of this show as it was some weird cross between setting things up for the future and fallout from the show, but neither are all that interesting. You can probably pencil in Rey vs. Booker as it isn’t like there is another top heel to come after the title, but at this point Rey would be an underdog against a cocker spaniel. Even the title change to start the show off didn’t feel important, which is the case for almost everything around here. That’s a big problem and I don’t think they have an answer anytime soon.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – May 22, 2006: What More Could You Ask For?

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 22, 2006
Location: Thomas And Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Smackdown has gotten through its pay per view now so it’s time for Raw to get ready for something of its own. In theory at least, as the next show is ECW One Night Stand, which could go in a lot of directions. This show has been a lot better than Smackdown as of late though so hopefully they keep it up here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with HHH accidentally hitting Shane McMahon in the face with a sledgehammer.

Vince McMahon is looking rather serious and says Shane only survived because of superior conditioning and genetics. Tonight, HHH is apologizing and if it is anything less than severe, HHH will incur his wrath.

Here’s Mick Foley, in a suit, to open things up with something covered up in the ring. Mick thanks the fans for their support in light of the strange circumstances over the last few weeks. Contrary to popular belief, he is not a bad guy. He’s the guy who sticks his thumb and says how great it is to be right here in Las Vegas. Except it isn’t, because he doesn’t like a city where you can change your life on a gamble.

People should earn it like he did, because he didn’t become a three time WWE Champion with a roll of a dice. Foley is like this man, so here are Edge and Lita. After kissing Lita’s hand again and is blown away by her lack of a shirt. Anyway, Foley talks about how great of a hardcore match they had and they embody the entire hardcore style instead of what ECW did. That’s why he is giving Edge his Hardcore Title, which was given to him in his retirement ceremony. Edge puts the belt on his shoulder but says he can’t accept it….because he has the hottest girl in Vegas going to bed with him tonight.

Edge talks about everything Foley did for hardcore wrestling and knows Foley should be champion. Foley takes a shot at Ric Flair for calling him a glorified stuntman and earning a Wrestlemania paycheck by not dying in a ladder match. With that out of the way, Foley suggests one more hardcore match tonight to crown the real champion. Edge has a better idea and has Lilian Garcia announce them as co-champions.

Cue Paul Heyman to say he knows it’s legal here, but he’s looking at live prostitution in the ring. He actually doesn’t mean Lita because Mick Foley is prostituting his legacy for Edge and Lita. Foley has prostituted his name and legacy but he isn’t prostituting the name of hardcore. Instead, Foley can tell us what it means to look in the mirror and see a shell of yourself. Foley says he sees a co-holder of the Hardcore Title and a living legend. He finds it ironic that Heyman is talking about someone being a shell of himself because Heyman has nothing.

Heyman says he has no power, but he can make a challenge for One Night Stand: Edge/Mick Foley vs. any two ECW guys Heyman can drag up. Foley tells him to get out so Heyman says Lita is the only one in the ring with any testicles. Lita grabs her crotch but Edge says the match is on. The two of them go after Heyman so here are the opponents for the save: Tommy Dreamer and Terry Funk.

The fight is on and the villains run off from the threat of violence. We get the ECW theme to make it even better, after another step in a perfectly well done story. Dreamer fits in really well here (yeah I said it) and Funk is always game, so this has a lot of potential. The promos have been great too, with Heyman being the only person who could say those things and hang with Foley.

The Diva Search is back. Does it have to be?

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin

Van Dam is challenging and shoulders Benjamin down to start. A floatover suplex gives Rob two but Shelton elbows him in the face. The stepover kick to the face looks to set up Rolling Thunder but Shelton rolls to the floor and we take a break. Back with Van Dam fighting out of a chinlock but Rob fights up and gets two off a sunset flip. Shelton’s neckbreaker gets the same and we’re back in the chinlock with a bodyscissors.

Rating: C+. They were having a nice match and the ending keeps Van Dam hot while keeping the title on Benjamin. That’s as logical of a move as they could have had and I’ll take that over Van Dam losing via cheating. That briefcase seems ready to go and it would make a lot of sense for an ECW wrestler to use that at an ECW show.

Post match Rob gives Shelton a Five Star to make the fans smile.

Vince McMahon is with ZZ Top when Candice Michelle comes in. They seem impressed with her homemade pearl necklace.

We see the same video that opened the show.

Here’s Vince McMahon for a chat. He wastes no time in demanding that HHH get out here right now for the apology. After a few moments, here’s a serious looking HHH. Vince reminds HHH of what Shawn Michaels said to him a few months back, when Shawn told him to move on. HHH might want to remember what happened to Shawn since then before he gets to his apology.

Vince wants him to say two words, so HHH has two words for him: I’m sorry. Those are the right words, but there’s one more thing: HHH has to crush Shawn’s skull with a sledgehammer after the Spirit Squad beats Shawn tonight. HHH shakes his hand and says they have an understanding. Sounds shenanigansy.

Another look at See No Evil. At least it’s in theaters now so we can start getting away from these videos.

Kane says May 19 was the date that his family was killed in a fire but now he can no longer block all the pain. Now he has a movie out where he kills a lot of people and now he gets to let out some anger tonight. He’s never been better.

John Cena vs. Chris Masters

Non-title. Masters punches away to start but gets slammed and elbowed for two. It’s too early for the FU and Masters blasts him with a clothesline to the floor. Back in and the delayed suplex gets two as we have some pro Cena chants. Cena blocks the Masterlock attempt and they crash out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cena slugging away and hitting some clotheslines. The STFU makes Master tap in a hurry, with the post break stuff barely lasting thirty seconds.

Rating: D+. They didn’t have time to do much here but was anyone doubting Cena’s chances against Masters? There is only so much you can get out of Masters in a main event roll because he is a one move wrestler. Cena barely broke a sweat here and that’s how it was supposed to go.

Post match here’s Rob Van Dam to say sup champ. He forced his way into this spot so now he wants his title shot in a place where he isn’t likely to get screwed. Like at One Night Stand. Cena is stunned by this for some reason and the fight is on. Masters tries to jump Cena and is quickly dispatched, allowing Van Dam to use the briefcase for a Van Daminator.

Carlito tries to get Maria to help him cheat in poker. They run into Snitsky, who is trying to hook up with a Las Vegas showgirl. He goes over to talk about her feet and offers her Chinese food and See No Evil. It’s Goldust for your gag of the night, which Carlito dubs “not cool”.

Shawn Michaels wants to know what HHH is thinking. He always respected HHH (oh here we go) but HHH sold his soul to the devil out there. Glaring ensues.

Trevor Murdoch thinks Tom Hanks will get an Oscar nomination over Kane. I think you know where this is going.

Kane vs. Trevor Murdoch

Chokeslam finishes in less than a minute.

The fans request and receive another chokeslam, with Kane adding a third for fun. The fire comes out of the posts….and Kane’s mask is on the screen. In what shouldn’t be a shock, the mask starts talking, saying this started on May 19 and will never be over.

This Week In Wrestling History: Scott Hall jumps the barricade. Again, not on the Network for some reason.

Torrie Wilson vs. Mickie James

Non-title and Torrie has new music. Mickie drives her into the corner to start but Torrie is back with a rollup. The swinging neckbreaker gets two on Mickie and they mistime a hot shot. Mickie hammers away and finishes with the MickieDT before it can get worse.

Post match here’s Trish Stratus to say Beth Phoenix is now part of the roster. Beth jumps Mickie at ringside and the chase is on through the crowd.

Here’s Viscera to say it’s time to settle down….with Lilian Garcia. Lilian gets in the ring and cuts Viscera off, saying he dumped her for Godfather’s ladies the last time they were in Vegas. Viscera has something for her here though: a cheeseburger. See, if they get married in a chapel tonight, she can cook for him every day so he doesn’t have to eat cheeseburgers every day. He drops to a knee but here’s Armando Alejandro Estrada to interrupt. Viscera has a little problem, so here’s Umaga for the brawl, with Viscera being crushed against the post. The beating continues until the Samoan Spike leaves Viscera laying.

Another See No Evil video.

The Spirit Squad tells HHH to stay in the back until they give him a signal. Those are Vince’s orders, and HHH doesn’t seem thrilled.

WATCH ONE NIGHT STAND!

Shawn Michaels vs. Spirit Squad

Non-title and it’s a big pop for Shawn, who comes to the ring with a chair. Hang on though as here’s Vince to say we won’t need a referee or that chair either. The referee takes it away and leaves as the Squad comes in to start the fight in a hurry. The Upsa Daisy plants Shawn and the series of moonsaults has Vince rather pleased on the stage.

There’s a double suplex and a lot of stomping, plus a big running clothesline in the corner (with the Squad providing a double step up). Hold on though as Shawn gets in a few shots before grabbing the chair to even things up a bit. The top rope elbow connects on Mikey and there’s Sweet Chin Music to make it worse. Nicky chairs Shawn’s knee out though and they rip the gear off of his leg.

The fans chant for HHH as the knee brace is taken off. Kenny Pillmanizes the leg with a top rope legdrop so NOW Vince calls HHH down to the ring. Cue HHH with the sledgehammer but Kenny takes it away because he wants to do it. HHH steps in front of him and beats the Squad down himself as we have a face turn (or at least most of one) to end the show.

Rating: D. There wasn’t a ref and there wasn’t an ending so I don’t think you can really call this a match, but the bell did ring. This was more of the same with Vince stacking the deck but this time they changed it up a bit, which is a good way to mix it up. The wrestling wasn’t the point here and it was only a match in the loosest sense of the word anyway.

Overall Rating: B. This show is nailing it as of late as they are doing almost everything you could want in two hours. There are new people being introduced and developed, an interesting main event, some good action and One Night Stand is looking promising. The biggest issue is having too much See No Evil stuff, but I can forgive that well enough. Rather good show here as Raw’s roll continues.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Judgment Day 2006 (2020 Redo): Rey Deserves Better

IMG Credit: WWE

Judgment Day 2006
Date: May 21, 2006
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 14,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time for what feels like the most B level pay per view in a good while. The main event is the loser of a World Champion in Rey Mysterio defending against perennial challenger JBL, who has been racist against Mysterio while accurately pointing out how terrible of a champion he is. Other than that, it’s time for Great Khali to destroy the Undertaker again. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how everything leads here and all of your decisions will determine your fate.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Brian Kendrick/Paul London

MNM is defending and has Melina with them. London and Nitro start things off but the champs have to pause for posing. Nitro runs the ropes but gets tripped down, allowing Kendrick to come in and crank on the arms. A double clothesline gets two on Nitro but he takes Kendrick into the corner for the tag off to Mercury. That means a double hiptoss from Kendrick and London into a double elbow, followed by a big dive from Kendrick.

Back in and Mercury takes out London’s leg and a double gutbuster gets two. Melina adds a headscissors on the apron and Tazz is rather jealous. We hit the chinlock for a bit but the fans help bring London to his feet. The hot tag brings in Kendrick but he’s cut off in a quick Snapshot for two, sending Melina into freaking out mode. The chinlock goes on again, followed by a double legdrop from the champs. Kendrick gets sent outside for a cheap shot from Melina and it’s right back to the chinlock.

Back up and the champs are sent into each other for the breather and the hot tag brings London back in to clean house. The Dropsault takes the champs down for two but Melina screams at the referee for the save. Kendrick misses a slingshot dive to the floor but Mercury hits Nitro by mistake, knocking him into Melina. A rollup with a bridge gives London the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. This was a very good choice for an opener with a mostly fast paced match and someone as evil as Melina getting what was coming to her. London and Kendrick have been ready to win the titles for months now so it was the right call to finally give them the belts. MNM had lost so many times lately that it was long overdue for them to lose, which is kind of shame given how good the act really is.

Post match Melina slaps Mercury so he grabs her arm, causing Nitro to jump him. Melina slaps Mercury in the face and tries to leave with Nitro, but Mercury is back up to start the fight again. Referees and Teddy Long come in for the save but Long is shoved down in the melee.

Video on the King of the Ring.

Chris Benoit vs. Finlay

They had a good match a few weeks ago so this should work. Finlay takes him into the corner to start and we actually get a clean break. The lockup goes all the way to the floor and against the barricade before they finally break up. Back in and they go nose to nose until Benoit grabs the legs for a failed Sharpshooter attempt. The chinlock goes on Finlay instead before Benoit switches over to a headlock. Finlay accuses Benoit of an eye poke though and then jumps him when the referee stops to check on things.

It’s a chinlock on Benoit this time but he isn’t sitting in that for very long. Instead it’s Benoit getting up and unloading in the corner, setting up another chinlock. Benoit tries to switch into the Crossface before turning Finlay over for two. Finlay hits him in the face and then pulls on the arm while putting his foot on Benoit’s head for some pulling. The chinlock is countered and Benoit snaps off another German suplex, followed by the Swan Dive for two.

Finlay is right back with a knockdown of his own into a running seated senton and it’s off to a chinlock with a knee in the back. A hammerlock/dragon sleeper combination (that’s a new one) keeps Benoit down and Finlay just pounds him in the back. Finlay says get up so he can show Benoit how tough he is. That means a clothesline to drop Benoit again but he’s right back up with a German suplex.

They head outside with Benoit hitting another German suplex on the floor, followed by Three Amigos back inside. The threat of another Swan Dive makes Finlay knock him off the top, with Benoit’s head hitting the barricade. Back in and Benoit’s shoulder goes into the post but he’s fine enough to snap on the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: B+. Oh like these two getting twenty minutes wasn’t going to be really good. They had an awesome match a few weeks back and now they did it again on the bigger stage. These two compliment each other really well and it felt like a fight with wrestling moves instead of a match, which worked very well. I could go for it again and it’s the kind of match where you could see it going either way.

We recap Jillian Hall vs. Melina, which started over makeup, as many feuds do.

Melina vs. Jillian Hall

Johnny Nitro gets ejected before the bell so Jillian attacks in a hurry. Jillian hammers on the mat and hits a Hennig necksnap. Melina tries to bail to the floor but gets sent into various things. Back in and Melina stomps her down and grabs a choke, followed by a bodyscissors. Some knees to the ribs in the corner have Jillian down again but she sends Melina face first into the buckle. A sunset flip gets the fast pin on Melina, though she had her hand on the rope.

Rating: D+. I’ve liked this feud since the beginning and all things considered, this was a near miracle. They aren’t exactly great in the ring and yes a lot of this is about eye candy, but they have been putting in the effort and intensity to make it a pretty fun little feud. I don’t need to see it again, but for what it was, it worked out rather well.

Melina yells a lot post match and Kristal to ask if Melina got what she deserved. The fight is on and broken up in a hurry.

JBL promises to beat Rey Mysterio to take the title tonight because it’s what he does when the lights are on bright. Chavo Guerrero comes in and says JBL needs to stop living in the past. Oh and VIVA LA RAZA.

We look at Steve Austin winning the King of the Ring.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Super Crazy

Crazy is challenging. They circle each other to start until Crazy grabs a backslide for two. Crazy hangs on instead of being sent outside and it’s a clothesline to put Helms on the floor. A big dive over the referee takes Helms down again and it’s all Crazy to start. A swinging neckbreaker gives Helms two and a regular version is good for the same. It’s off to something close two a Crossface but Crazy is back up, only to get elbowed back down. We hit the seated abdominal stretch, followed by a chinlock to keep Crazy down.

Helms’ sleeper is countered into a rollup for two and the comeback with on with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Crazy gets two off a middle rope dropkick but misses the moonsault. The Shining Wizard misses as well though and Crazy hits a spinwheel kick for two more. Helms gets a boot up in the corner to slow him down and a middle rope Blockbuster gets another near fall. Crazy tosses him into the corner but Helms grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes to retain.

Rating: C. This could have been on any given television show and that’s not a terrible thing. They weren’t likely to steal the show here as the Cruiserweight Title hasn’t meant anything in a long time. The wrestling was fine as Helms can wrestle with anyone, but was anyone buying Super Crazy as having a real chance at winning here?

Melina and Johnny Nitro come in and yell at Teddy Long about what has happened tonight so Melina slaps him in the face. Long fires both of them.

We look at Kurt Angle winning the King of the Ring.

Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle

Henry has injured Angle’s ribs in recent weeks and clears off the announcers’ table before Angle comes out. Mark grabs the mic and says he hurts people but here’s Angle to swing away. Angle can’t get in a whip to the corner so he settles for a middle rope flip dive to drop Henry. A front facelock goes on so Henry backdrops him over. The sitdown splash misses though and Angle hits a basement dropkick.

They head outside with Angle not being able to German suplex him through the announcers’ table. Back in and Angle takes the monster down by the leg and cranks away but Henry fights up with pure power. A kick to the chest drops Angle in a hurry and it’s time for a reverse chinlock to stay on the back. Angle fights up again and has to counter the World’s Strongest Slam into a tornado DDT for the double knockdown.

They slug it out and Angle snaps off the German suplex into the Angle Slam for two. Angle is all fired up so Henry cools him down with a clothesline. The World’s Strongest Slam (which connected during a split screen) gets two and it’s Henry’s turn to be frustrated. The yelling takes too long so Angle pulls him into the ankle lock, which is countered with a whip out to the floor. Henry teases the splash through the announcers’ table but does splash Angle against the post for the countout win.

Rating: C-. Henry was doing what he could here and can make the power stuff work rather well at times. On the other hand, Angle was doing a lot of the work here and that’s probably the best format for everyone involved. It was certainly miles ahead of their Royal Rumble match, though that isn’t exactly the biggest surprise.

Post match Henry loads up Angle for the World’s Strongest Slam but Angle fights up and destroys Henry with a chair. The Angle Slam over the table has Henry mostly done and a chair shot through the table ends him for good.

Sharmell says tonight Booker is going to show that he’s better than King Tut, Don King, Martin Luther King Jr. and King James. Maniacal laughter ensues.

We recap the King of the Ring tournament and the paths to the finals.

King of the Ring Tournament Finals: Booker T. vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley shoves him down and the bell rings, followed by Lashley taking it into the corner with pure power. The running clothesline gives Lashley two and it’s time to start on the arm. Back up and Lashley throws him down again, followed by a running clothesline out of the corner. Booker finally avoids a charge though and Lashley goes shoulder first into the post.

The banged up arm is wrapped around the rope, followed by the armbar to keep it in trouble. Booker loads up the ax kick but Lashley is right back up with a forearm to knock him silly. Sharmell’s distraction doesn’t work as Lashley suplexes him down, only to have Sharmell grab the leg to block the spear.

The Book End gives Booker two and Lashley’s powerslam gets the same. Lashley charges into a boot in the corner and the ax kick connects for another near fall. There’s the spear to cut Booker down but Sharmell offers a distraction, allowing Finlay to come in with the Shillelagh to the head for the pin and the crown.

Rating: B-. They were working fast here and they might have had one too many near falls. Finlay coming in was a little annoying but I’ll take that over Lashley getting pinned clean or even with feet on the ropes or something like that. Booker is a better choice for the King though as Lashley hasn’t exactly shown an in-depth personality.

Post match Booker goes to sit on the throne but Lashley knocks it over like a sore loser.

Video on Great Khali vs. Undertaker, with the latest new monster taking Undertaker out with no issue. Undertaker hasn’t been seen since but has issued the challenge.

Undertaker vs. Great Khali

Daivari is here with Khali. Undertaker strikes away to start and is quickly sent outside, leaving him looking rather confused. Back in and Undertaker fires off right hands, only to get tossed to the floor again. A Stunner over the top rope staggers Khali a bit but Old School is slammed off the top with ease. There’s a clothesline to drop Undertaker again and Khali kicks him to the floor.

Khali whips him knees first into the steps and it’s mostly one sided so far. Back in and a slugout gives Undertaker the slightest glimmer of hope but Old School only staggers Khali. The jumping clothesline gets Khali’s arms tied in the ropes but Daivari breaks him free in a hurry. A big boot into the chop to the head drops Undertaker and another big boot lets Khali put his foot on the chest for the pin.

Rating: D+. As you might have guessed, this made me think of Jillian vs. Melina earlier. They weren’t going to have some kind of a classic because Khali can barely move, but he did a good enough job with what he could do. Khali uses a limited offense because it’s all he needs to do. Why should he do anything besides big boots, chops and the like? Undertaker sold them like death and that is the kind of thing that makes Khali look as good as possible. This could have been much worse, but it did what it was supposed to do by making Khali look like a destroyer.

We recap JBL vs. Rey Mysterio. Rey won the World Title at Wrestlemania and has promptly been destroyed by almost everyone since then. JBL doesn’t like Rey because he’s from Mexico (at least in JBL’s mind) and because people cheer for Eddie Guerrero instead of Rey. Now it’s time for Rey to get the win back, but he has taken so much damage over the last few weeks that another JBL reign doesn’t sound too bad.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Only Rey is defending as I had completely forgotten JBL was US Champion. The EDDIE chants begin and Rey slugs away, with JBL looking a little surprised. Some strikes to the leg set up a quickly broken headlock so Rey slaps him in the face. The threat of the 619 sends JBL outside and it’s a seated senton off the apron to take him down again. Back in and a basement dropkick gives Rey two and he hammers away in the corner.

The referee gets distracted for a second and Rey gets in a low blow, only to have JBL come back with a big boot. They head outside with Rey being whipped into the steps and it’s already time to go back in. A right hand puts Rey on the floor again, with JBL sending him into the steps a second time. JBL hits Three Amigos before dropping him ribs first into the top rope as Rey is busted open.

That means another trip to the floor with JBL making Rey’s wife look at the blood. Some short arm clotheslines put Rey down again and JBL gets two, with the kicking making him panic. We hit the chinlock to squeeze some blood out of the head but JBL lets him go at two arm drops to cover instead. Rey breaks up the belly to back superplex and gets his own two off a moonsault press, followed by a kick to the head for the same.

JBL is back up with a powerbomb attempt but it’s a hurricanrana to set up the 619 instead. The referee gets pulled in the way of the West Coast Pop though, meaning the Clothesline From JBL gets a very delayed two. JBL grabs the chair but it gets kicked back into his face, setting up the frog splash to retain the title.

Rating: C+. This felt like it should have been for the Intercontinental Title in a featured match on Smackdown rather than headlining a pay per view. They have done a horrible job of devaluing the World Title in the last few weeks. Rey retaining here felt a bit like what would happen if MNM retaining in the opener. That’s not exactly the best way to present the main event of a pay per view, but the match itself was fairly good.

Chavo Guerrero comes out to celebrate and get us through the required tribute to Eddie to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show was actually pretty good for a two hour and forty five minute pay per view that isn’t going to mean anything in a few days, even with such a lame main event. Most of the matches were either good or fairly short, much like how Smackdown feels most of the time. They have to do something different with Rey though because this title reign is bringing everything else down.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – May 19, 2006: Behind Door Number MAY 19

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 19, 2006
Location: Tingley Coliseum, Albuquerque, New Mexico
Attendance: 5,757
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Judgment Day and my goodness it’s a pretty sad world around here. World Champion Rey Mysterio is on a losing streak to various monsters and tonight he gets to face a mystery monster. Given that it’s MAY 19 and we’ve spent months on Kane talking about MAY 19 and his new movie comes out on MAY 19, I’m thinking the Great and Powerful Oz. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at JBL tormenting Mysterio and making it work, because Rey being World Champion is a pesky annoyance.

Opening sequence.

Here’s JBL in his limo to open things up. After declaring himself an American hero, he wants to acknowledge the heart of Rey Mysterio. See, Rey’s people have that machismo, which is Spanish for having more guts than brains. That’s what JBL had when he defeated Eddie Guerrero. Latinos have passion but passion doesn’t pay the bills. The fans chant for Rey, which JBL says they should do now because JBL is taking the title on Sunday. JUST LIKE HE DID FROM EDDIE GUERRERO! I’ve seen herds of cows that weren’t milked as much as Eddie.

MNM/Melina vs. Jillian Hall/Paul London/Brian Kendrick

The Fink is on commentary here and describes MNM/Melina as “the threesome that contains the WWE Tag Team Champions, MNM!” The brawl is on before the bell and we’re joined in progress after a break with Kendrick headlocking Nitro. A headlock takeover out of the corner puts Nitro down and it’s off to London to work on the arm. Mercury comes in to send London into the buckle so Kendrick comes back in to clean house.

Everything breaks down and Kendrick gets chop blocked to put him in trouble. Nitro comes in to tie up the leg and it’s back to Mercury to cannonball down on the leg. The leg twisting continues and it’s Mercury (who is incredibly sweaty) dropping an elbow on the leg to keep him in down. The breakdancing legdrop gives Nitro two (and allows Melina to scream), followed by a headscissors from Melina on the apron.

Kendrick kicks Mercury into the corner for the break though and the hot tag brings in Nitro to pick up the pace. Melina tags herself in for the catfight (and a BIG pop) until Mercury makes a save. Jillian comes in with a high crossbody (which the camera mostly misses, possibly intentionally) for the pin.

Rating: C-. I can always go for the idea of putting two feuds into a big tag match so this worked fine. They almost have to change the titles on Sunday after all of these losses, but I’ve also liked Melina vs. Jillian. No it isn’t setting the world on fire, but they’re both being intense and it comes off like they really don’t like each other. I’ll give points for trying and they’re giving it what they can so well done.

Clip of the Judgment Day press conference. The pay per view’s theme song is This Fire Burns so I keep expecting a CM Punk cameo.

Cole: “Who will be Rey Mysterio’s mystery opponent tonight?” This is followed by a See No Evil package. They never have been good with subtlety.

Video on Mark Henry injuring Kurt Angle.

Angle talks about meeting Mark Henry at the 1996 Olympics. That’s when Angle won the gold medal but Henry won…nothing. Henry has been angry ever since and tried to hurt Angle, but Kurt isn’t Batista and he’s still standing. On Sunday, Henry is learning that Angle is the best wrestler in the world.

Bobby Lashley vs. Jared Steel

Lashley knocks him into the ropes to start and hits a belly to belly suplex as the beating is on in a hurry. Some shoulders set up the gorilla press and there’s the delayed vertical suplex. The spear is good for the pin in a hurry.

Post match Lashley goes to sit on the King of the Ring throne but here are Booker T./Sharmell to interrupt. They walk by Lashley to go to the ring, which means Lashley can’t sit down for some reason.

Raw Rebound.

Gunner Scott/Chris Benoit vs. Booker T./Finlay

During the entrances, Finlay vs. Benoit is announced for Sunday. Scott and Booker lock up against the ropes to start with Booker not being thrilled at being driven into the corner. Some chops and a back elbow give Scott two but Booker thumbs him in the eye. Finlay comes in and Gunner manages to wrap his leg around the rope for a kick to said rope. You don’t do that to Finlay, who knocks him down and grabs a quickly broken chinlock.

It’s back to Booker, who hits his own chops in the corner. Scott gets two off a suplex but Booker kicks him back down for the same. The chinlock goes on and Scott seems to be bleeding from the nose or mouth. Scott manages to fight up and gets over for the hot tag to Benoit so house can be cleaned. Booker breaks up the Sharpshooter attempt so Benoit chops him as well and gets two off the German suplex. Everything breaks down and Scott gets knocked from the top to the floor in a big crash as we take a break.

Back with Scott still in trouble as Booker unloads on him against the ropes. A Russian legsweep gives Scott a breather though and the hot tag brings in Benoit to clean house. Finlay pulls Benoit to the floor for a ram into the steps though and it’s a Shillelagh shot to the ribs to make it worse.

Booker is smart enough to grab an abdominal stretch but Benoit is out in a hurry for the German suplex. It’s back to Scott for a middle rope dropkick with Finlay having to make a save. Everything breaks down again with Benoit and Finlay falling to the floor but here’s Lashley to sit on the throne. That’s enough of a distraction for Scott to grab a crucifix for the surprise pin.

Rating: B-. This was an intense match with everyone working hard. It might not have happened yet, but it’s nice to see them trying something with Scott. You can always go with trying someone new in a spot and maybe it will work out for him. The match was good too, with some back and forth action and Benoit and Finlay beating the heck out of each other. Having them do it again on their own on Sunday should be just fine.

Tatanka is now part of the Lakota Tribe and will debut next week. I can’t wait either.

Here’s Daivari to explain why Undertaker is scared of Great Khali. We see a video of Undertaker’s dominance over the years, only to have Khali destroy him with such ease. Back in the arena, Khali comes out to say “rest in peace.” At least that’s what commentary claims he said.

Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy

This show loves its monsters. Hardy knocks him to the floor and drops an ax handle from the apron. A posting lets Hardy hit the middle rope legdrop for one, meaning it’s time for the destruction to begin. Henry forearms him in the back and grabs the bearhug but Hardy is out in a hurry. The Twist of Fate attempt is countered into a World’s Strongest Slam for the pin.

Post match Henry tells Angle to watch this and hits some splashes.

Another See No Evil video.

Vito and Guido are ready to go out again but here is Paul Burchill to say he saw Vito in a dress too. Guido doesn’t believe it.

Judgment Day rundown.

Rey Mysterio vs. ???

Non-title but before we find out who the opponent is, here’s JBL for commentary and a pre-match chat. After saying we’re in Albuquerque, North Mexico, JBL asks Rey if he knows what the date is. Rey: “May 19.” JBL:” YOU SAID IT NOT ME!” Cue Kane and we’re ready to go. Kane punches him down to start and the beating is on as Cole is losing his mind on commentary. Rey kicks at the legs but gets knocked out of the air as Cole goes on about JBL being sick.

A two arm chokeslam drops Rey again and Kane drops him face first onto the steps. JBL again talks about how the fans are chanting for Eddie instead of Rey, which really doesn’t do much good for Rey but that might be the least of his problems. Rey gets knocked down again but the lights go red.

Kane’s voice comes onto the loudspeaker to talk about how it’s May 19th and it’s happening again. A 619 hits Kane but he’s right back with a chokeslam as the lights come back on. Kane goes to leave but JBL says Rey is the one who said May 19, earning himself a chokeslam to end the show. No finish to the match so things are looking up for Mysterio.

Rating: D. This was barely a match and wasn’t quite a shocking surprise. I’m sure it’s supposed to be all better when Rey retains over JBL, but JBL has been right on almost every point so far. The racist stuff is the only heel part about him (granted that’s a big part) though and otherwise, it’s really hard to cheer for Rey at this point, when he’s being presented as a face version of the heel who loses all the time but keeps pointing to the title like it makes everything ok.

Overall Rating: C-. That tag match in the middle helped but man alive that main event stuff is killing everything else on the show. The worst part is we’re probably going to see even more of it after Sunday as Rey beating JBL is the kind of thing that would make WWE think everything is equal. Not their worst show, but one match is all that’s keeping it afloat this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – May 15, 2006: Terry Funk Might Be The Best Wrestler Ever

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 15, 2006
Location: United Spirit Arena, Lubbock, Texas
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Things are getting interesting around here as we have the mostly uncombined forces of John Cena, Shawn Michaels and HHH vs. Vince and Shane McMahon, plus the Spirit Squad. It’s certainly a different enough looking feud and I’m curious about how it is going to go. Throw in the new alliance of Edge/Mick Foley/Lita and things are actually getting good. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH

Raw World Title/Intercontinental Title: John Cena/Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin/HHH/Chris Masters

Cena and Van Dam are defending, there are no tags and one fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start with Cena and HHH brawling on the floor while Van Dam hurricanranas Shelton. Van Dam hits a big running flip dive to take everyone out and we take a break. Back with Cena hitting a running shoulder into a powerslam but HHH sends him outside.

Shelton hits a spinwheel kick to send Cena over the barricade and it’s Van Dam getting triple teamed. HHH and Shelton get in an argument over the pin so Masters puts Van Dam in the Masterlock, which is the smartest thing he has ever done. That’s broken up so Van Dam spinwheel kicks Benjamin and Cena is back in for the running clotheslines.

There’s the Shuffle to Masters but Cena has to backdrop his way out of the Pedigree. Masters breaks up the STF on Benjamin but Rob comes back in with the Five Star. HHH gives Van Dam the Pedigree and there’s an FU to Masters. Another Pedigree takes Cena down but Shelton covers Van Dam for the Intercontinental Title just a second before HHH covers Cena for a nice annoyed visual from HHH.

Rating: C+. This was a complete action match and I liked the concept. There’s something fun about the complete insanity and having different options for people to win titles. Shelton getting the title back is a little annoying but Van Dam can move on with the briefcase, which is a lot more important anyway.

During the break, HHH wasn’t interested in commenting.

Here’s Trish Stratus, with the arm still in a sling, for a chat. She and Mickie James have some unfinished business so get down here right now. Mickie comes down and she’s ready to go but the blonde fan from last week jumps in. The fan chases Mickie off and Trish names her as Beth. The new woman shouts that Mickie is a psycho and Beth isn’t forgetting what Mickie did to her.

Clip from the See No Evil premiere with a bunch of wrestlers in attendance.

This week in wrestling history: Bruno Sammartino b. Buddy Rogers in 48 seconds to win the World Title. This isn’t on the Network for some reason.

Shane McMahon comes in to see HHH, who wants to know what that was. Apparently that was HHH’s title shot so now it’s time for HHH to return the favor. Shane mentions the main event, where he’ll be the guest referee. I’m not sure what that has to do with HHH but how else were they going to make that announcement?

Tag Team Titles: Spirit Squad vs. Goldust/Snitsky

The Squad (Johnny/Nicky) is defending. Johnny’s headlock doesn’t work so it’s off to Goldust for the jumping hip attack. Nicky comes in and gets his arm cranked a bit until the rest of the Squad trips Goldust down. The front facelock keeps Goldust in trouble and a clothesline gives Johnny two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Goldust fights up for the powerslam. The hot tag brings in Snitsky to clean house but it’s a springboard bulldog from Mikey to put him down and give Johnny the retaining pin.

Rating: D+. There was no drama and it was the usual shenanigans from the Squad. They’re exciting enough with the trampoline and all that jazz, but they work a lot better as the goons than as the team holding the titles. It was passable for a short enough match, but that’s about all you can give it here.

Here’s Mick Foley, who says it’s true: Melina was looking at him at Kane’s movie premiere (Foley: “YES!”). As for last week, it’s true that he attacked Tommy Dreamer and kissed Lita, the girlfriend of his sworn enemy, on the hand. He owes us an apology, so he does just that but since Tommy Dreamer can’t be here due to a bad reaction to a barbed wire baseball bat.

Instead, Foley has a special guest: TERRY FUNK, complete with a clip of the dumpster match from Wrestlemania XIV. Foley gives him a warm greeting but Terry says not so fast Cactus. Funk wants to know why Foley did what he did to Tommy Dreamer. Foley: “You don’t want to know.” Mick talks about the history he made with Edge at Wrestlemania but now you have ECW freaks coming in and trying to talk about hardcore.

There are three things Foley will defend with his life: the honor of his wife, the honor of his children and the honor of his legacy as a hardcore wrestling. Funk says Foley is ECW, which means he’s family. They have broken each others’ bones over the years and fought together, but Funk has always put his arm around Foley. Funk says Foley is like a son to him and they hug, with Foley seeming touched.

Foley says this is the first time they have been in a WWE ring together since 1998, but it wasn’t supposed to be that long. Back in 2003, Foley was honored in a ceremony on Raw with all of the hardcore legends….except Terry Funk. Foley asked where Funk was but was told that Terry was at home because he wanted too much money to be there. Funk gets serious and Foley tells him to shut his mouth.

Foley is going to get a phone call a few years from now, saying that Funk is gone and they want him at the funeral. He’ll come but it’s going to cost a lot of money to make Foley come to a dump like west Texas. Foley will cash in the frequent flier miles if he has to but he’ll there just so he can spit on Funk’s grave. Funk: “YOU GOT YOUR NERVE FOLEY! I’M GONNA JOHN WAYNE YOUR A**!”

Funk tells him to take his best shot and slaps him in the face over and over but Foley won’t fight back. Funk: “Hey Foley! If I had a head like yours, I’d have it circumcised!” That’s almost too far for Foley, so Funk says it again. Foley goes to leave so Funk says his wife is a wh***. Funk: “HEY FOLEY! HEY FOLEY! YOUR KIDS ARE B*******!” Funk says the WWE sucked and that’s enough to get Foley swinging but Funk punches him back. Cue Edge, who gets knocked into the corner as well but Lita gets in a low blow. A barbed wire bat shot puts Funk down and it’s Mr. Socko into the spear to leave Funk laying.

The Funk vs. Foley stuff was outstanding for more than a few reasons. First and foremost, it’s Terry Funk, who is someone where the more I see of him, the more in awe I am of him. He has been around forever but there is such a reputation there that you can’t help but respect him. On top of that, he is such an awesome promo that you believe every single thing he says.

Then there’s Foley, who is a legend in his own right but you can feel the respect that he has for Funk. It’s such a personal connection and that is the kind of thing that made Foley seem vulnerable. You can see both sides of this and why Foley is angry, but Funk is trying to patch things up and Foley is having none of it. Then Funk pushed every button the Foley told him would work and it all spilled out from there.

In other words, they set up the stakes, they gave it an emotional aspect and then it all played out as it should have. This was two great talkers doing what they know how to do and sucking the fans in the whole way. The history between them made this the kind of thing that was going to work for these two more than anyone else. This was excellent and I was pulled all the way into it at the beginning and never left.

Here’s Matt Striker to insult Texas for not being that smart. Oh and immigrants are bad.

Matt Striker vs. Eugene

Eugene has a big red cowboy hat and Striker cracks up a bit. After a run around the ring with the hat, Eugene gets caught in the corner and the beating begins. A cravate and some shouting has Eugene in trouble, followed by the right hands to the head. Striker calls him a moron, but then does the moronic thing of ramming him head first into the buckle. The comeback is on and it’s the big boot into the legdrop for two. Striker grabs a neckbreaker though and puts a knee on the back of Eugene’s neck before snapping him backwards onto the knee (Zack Ryder’s Zack Attack) for the pin in a hurry. This was fine.

Video on Kane as the movie press junket continues.

We look back at the double title match earlier.

Maria asks Carlito why he attacked Matt Striker and Eugene last week. Carlito ignores the question to hit on her but she likes the Spit Or Swallow shirt. I think you know where this is going and Carlito finds it cool.

Vince McMahon is trying to kiss Candice Michelle when an annoyed HHH comes in. Vince praises him a bit and hands him a sledgehammer to bash Shawn Michaels’ head in. Do that, and it’s a new era. Vince: “Go get em champ.”

Armando Alejandro Estrada introduces Umaga’s opponent. He is the toughest man in Texas, but Umaga (now officially dubbed the Samoan Bulldozer) isn’t from Texas.

Umaga vs. Chris Wellman

The running splash in the corner starts the destruction (Estrada: “I think that hurt.”) and it continues on the floor, complete with a choke toss off the steps for a good crash. Back in and it’s the corner headbutt into the running hip attack into the Samoan Spike for the easy pin. Another total squash.

Smackdown Rebound.

The Spirit Squad has a special cheer for Shane McMahon.

Third look at See No Evil.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kenny

Shane McMahon is guest referee and HHH, with sledgehammer, is in Kenny’s corner. Shawn wastes no time in knocking Kenny outside before hammering away in the corner back inside. Shane gets in a cheap shot so Kenny can hammer away but Shawn takes it to the floor. Some chops rock Kenny but Shane throws Shawn off the top to put him in trouble again. Kenny gets a quick DDT for a quicker two and a jumping back elbow to the face gets the same.

Shane takes off his belt, hands it to Kenny, and can’t help but yawn. The belt goes around Shawn’s throat and we hit the chinlock. Kenny holds Shawn up and Shane tells HHH to do it now. Shawn fights out and hits the flying forearm before taking the belt away to send Shane running.

The top rope elbow hits Kenny and it’s Sweet Chin Music to knock him silly. Shane is back to hit three straight backbreakers and hold Shawn up for HHH. The sledgehammer hits Shane by mistake and knows he screwed up. Cue Vince to wave medics down and hold Shane like he’s been shot. HHH apologizes and leaves to end the show as the match is a no contest.

Rating: D+. This was as good as it could have been as it was angle advancement rather than a match. There was no need for it to be anything else as the Spirit Squad isn’t going to go any higher or lower with or without a win. HHH screwing up and hitting Shane means Vince isn’t going to be happy and you can feel the momentum for the turn coming. They’re taking their time though, as they should. You can’t turn a huge villain like HHH face instantly so he should be taking his time. Oh and Shawn was here too.

Overall Rating: B-. The show was starting off rather well but then it hit a big bump halfway through. The Foley/Funk segment was very good and the opener was very energized, but then the main event and the squash matches didn’t exactly help things. Overall it’s a good show and I want to see where some of these things go, so they’re doing something right. Just get rid of the bad and they’ll have a hit on their hands.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6