Smackdown – August 8, 2008: He’s Doing It Himself

Smackdown
Date: August 8, 2008
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

We are just over a week away from Summerslam and Edge is hopefully getting back on track. That is something he has been needing for a bit and it might have happened last week. In another thing that needs to pick up the pace, we have HHH vs. Great Khali for the former’s World Title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look back at Edge snapping on Mick Foley last week.

Opening sequence.

Tazz is filling in for the injured Mick Foley. Commentary runs down the card.

Maryse/Natalya/Victoria vs. Maria/Michelle McCool/Cherry

They’re all in various Olympic sports attire, though Maria picks skiing for the summer games. McCool (volleyball) and Natalya (equestrian) start things off with McCool gabbing a Russian legsweep. A middle rope wristdrag takes Natalya down but Maria tags herself in for a double shoulder. Natalya sends Maria outside but Cherry (boxing) comes in with a double arm DDT. It’s off to Victoria for the Widow’s Peak, only for McCool to kick her in the face. Everything breaks down and Natalya Sharpshooters Maria for the fast win. This was a mini theme match and you can pretty easily get the reason why.

Bam Neely has been attacked and there is a black rose near him.

Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins vs. Shannon Moore/Jimmy Wang Yang

Non-title. Hawkins headlocks Yang to start but gets armdragged into an armbar. Back up and Hawkins fights out of the corner and hits a reverse clothesline, allowing Ryder to come in for a swinging neckbreaker. Hawkins comes in off a blind tag and breaks up a sunset flip, setting up a suplex for two on Yang. We hit the reverse chinlock but Yang slips out and hands it back to Moore to clean house. A high crossbody gets two on Ryder but the referee has to get rid of Yang, allowing a double inverted DDT to finish Moore.

Rating: C+. I’ve long since thought Yang and Moore could have been a bigger deal in the tag division as it isn’t like there was much competition. They had a nice match here and it made for a good use of a few minutes. If nothing else, it made the champions look good, which is always a nice move.

MVP wants to face Jeff Hardy at Summerslam. We see a clip of MVP costing Jeff Hardy a match against Edge on Saturday Night’s Main Event, but where is the footage of Hardy attacking MVP? Hardy is a product of his own actions.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. Benjamin takes him down without much trouble and grabs an early chinlock. Hardy fights up and it’s an armdrag into an armbar as they already see to be filling time. That’s broken up and Benjamin stomps away in the corner before going back to the chinlock. This one doesn’t last as long as Hardy fights up and hits the mule kick out to the floor, where the slingshot dive connects. Back in and a quick Swanton attempt misses to give Benjamin two and we take a break.

We come back with Benjamin grabbing another chinlock, though at least his legs are facing another way to make it different. Back up and Hardy tries the Whisper In The Wind, only to get dropped hard onto the ropes for two. Benjamin starts in on the leg as Tazz talks about fatigue setting in. From what? Excessive chinlock usage? Benjamin starts cranking on the leg, including a half crab for a change.

That’s broken up so Benjamin puts it on again as we’re seeing quite the repetitive theme emerging. Hardy escapes again and they go outside, where Benjamin gets kicked out of the air. Back in and the Whisper In The Wind connects, only for Benjamin to reverse the slingshot dropkick into a powerslam for two. Paydirt is countered into the Twist Of Fate and Hardy hits the Swanton…but gets kicked in the face by MVP for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This got going near the end but they easily could have cut off about five minutes o the chinlocks and leg cranking. The latter wouldn’t have made much of a difference as Hardy’s leg looked fine when he was making his comeback. This wasn’t quite as bad as some of the recent dull matches, but it was definitely following a similar formula.

La Familia can’t find Zack Ryder and something might have happened to him.

And now, arm wrestling between HHH and Great Khali, with broken glass on the table for whichever hand goes down. Before we get going, Khali says something, which HHH says is a good point, even though he has no idea what Khali said. Runjin Singh says Khali told him to get out while he can because this is a different kind of challenge. HHH tells Singh to find a lamp to rub to put Khali back inside.

The reality is Khali has never been in the ring with someone like HHH, who is actually going to tell Khali his plans in advance. HHH is going to break Khali’s legs and there is nothing Singh or the jolly genie can do about it. With that out of the way, we’re ready to go and believe it or not, HHH is about to win when Khali attacks him. The head vice leaves HHH laying and commentary isn’t sure how he is going to survive at Summerslam. This was every step you would have expected, probably right down to the genie jokes.

Curt Hawkins has been attacked and there is another black rose.

We get another R-Truth video, talking about where he came from and showing him playing basketball with his friends. If you want to play the game, you have to get into it, and that is the truth.

Chavo Guerrero thinks he and Vickie Guerrero need Edge’s help to deal with this so he’s off to find him.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jesse

Jesse, with Festus, is the better competition that Kozlov requested. The bell rings so Kozlov bails from the crazed Festus before kicking Jesse down to take over. Headbutts and a suplex have Jesse in trouble but he gets in a shot of his own. Kozlov then headbutts him out of the air for the pin.

Raw Rebound.

Summerslam rundown.

Chavo Guerrero found Edge and he is willing to help with Undertaker’s attacks, but Vickie Guerrero has to be civil.

Brian Kendrick vs. Super Crazy

Before the match, Kendrick brags about his power and introduces his bodyguard, Ezekiel Jackson (now with a last name). Kendrick knocks him into the corner to start and a dropkick puts Crazy down again. Back up and Crazy misses a charge into the corner so another dropkick can connect for two.

The camel clutch goes on as Tazz makes insect comparisons. Kendrick kicks him down again and grabs something like a seated abdominal stretch. That’s broken up as Tazz wonders why Crazy, a Smackdown wrestler, is wearing an ECW shirt. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Kendrick down and a standing moonsault gets two. Jackson offers a distraction though, allowing Kendrick to hit the Kendrick for the pin.

Rating: C. Crazy was starting to fight back when he got cut off through the pretty stereotypical means. Kendrick continues to look and feel different while making me want to se more of what he’s doing. That’s a great sign and it was another fine performance, even if it didn’t have much time.

Post match Jackson torture racks Crazy.

Edge comes in to see the Guerreros and says he and Vickie can get by this. As the head of the family, Edge has a plan but it has to be his way. Vickie agrees so they head to the ring, where, after a break, Edge calls Undertaker out and even demands he use the powers. Edge then grabs a chair and cracks Chavo in the back, setting up a Conchairto. Edge turns Vickie’s wheelchair over and says he is who Vickie needs to worry about. Undertaker needs to worry about Edge taking him to h***, but he’s taking La Familia with him. Especially Vickie. Nice little twist there as Edge continues to be built back up before Summerslam.

Overall Rating: C. As has been the case lately, the wrestling wasn’t great but the other stuff didn’t bail it out here. The arm wrestling stuff went on forever and while the Edge surprise as the end was nice, it only got them so far. They need to get to Summerslam now, but they also need something better than HHH vs. Khali as a secondary match. Not the worst show, but Edge continues to carry this thing on his back.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – August 4, 2008: Those Two, And Everything Else

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 4, 2008
Location: Thompson-Boling Arena, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

For reasons I still do not want to understand, we’re in the Mike Adamle Era as he is the new GM of the show. Other than that nightmare, we have less than two weeks to go before Summerslam and the real main event from Raw is set as John Cena will face Batista. Other than that, CM Punk still needs an official challenger and we might get that tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Quick note: I did the Saturday Night’s Main Event but it didn’t save properly and was lost. Normally I would redo it but a grand total of nothing happened on the show and I’m not going to waste even more time on such a pathetic excuse for a “special”.

Here is Mike Adamle to get things going. The fans are all over him before he tells a story about a man who worked in a circus like atmosphere and wasn’t very good at his job. He’s talking about Ronald Reagan, who went from being a B list movie star to the Presidency. Reagan acted with a monkey, while Adamle said Jeff Harvey.

There have been people criticizing his work as an ECW commentator and wanting his resignation. That is your right as an American but it isn’t an American that he wants to be in. He wants to be in an America where a 5’9 man can play seven years in the NFL and be a star. As for tonight, how many people would like to see a championship match tonight? Instead, we’ll do three of them, with Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase defending the Tag Team Titles against John Cena/Batista….and here is JBL to interrupt.

JBL knows what it means to make a bad first impression, but now people see him for the success that he is. After bragging about being featured in Fortune Magazine and being a former professional football player, he brings up the World Title match at Summerslam. Cue Chris Jericho to interrupt, saying he should get the title shot instead.

Bickering ensues, but Adamle cuts them off and makes JBL/Jericho vs. CM Punk, where either of them get the title shot at Summerslam if they beat him. If Punk wins, neither gets a title shot. That’s kind of an unfair stipulation, but I had to listen to Adamle talk so there is nothing fair. He’s just not the right pick for this spot and that was even more apparent here.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Paul Burchill

Burchill, with Katie Lea, is challenging and works on a wristlock to start. Kingston flips him over for two as we hear about Burchill’s rugby career. Some right hands in the corner keep Burchill in trouble but Katie offers a distraction, allowing Burchill to get in a clothesline. We hit something like a seated crossface chickenwing until Kingston fights up and strikes away. A crossbody gives Kingston two and Trouble In Paradise retains the title.

Rating: C+. Hopefully this finishes Burchill as a challenger as it feels like it has been going on for months now. Burchill hasn’t felt like a big time challenger but he keeps going after Kingston. The clean finish gives me some hope though as there is pretty much no reason to keep this going.

Post match the Burchills go after Kingston again, only to be cleared out. Cue Mickie James for her scheduled match with Katie.

Women’s Title: Katie Lea vs. Mickie James

Joined in progress with Mickie striking away, including a dropkick to the floor. Mickie hits a Thesz press off the apron and strikes away before doing the same in the corner. A neckbreaker over the ropes has Mickie in more trouble and we hit the surfboard. With that broken up, Mickie hits her own neckbreaker for two but Lea’s suplex gets the same. Not that it matters as the MickieDT retains the title.

Rating: C. This feud has been going even longer than Kingston vs. Burchill and it’s nice to seemingly have it wrap up. Mickie is in need of a fresh challenger for the title and there aren’t many options around here. Lea is fine enough in the ring but there are only so many people she can face at the moment. For now though, it doesn’t seem to be Mickie and that’s fine.

Post match Beth Phoenix runs in to take Mickie out. Santino Marella approves and mild spanking ensues.

Mike Adamle calls Stephanie McMahon to thank her for the opportunity. Beth Phoenix and Santino Marella come in to interrupt because they both want title shots at Summerslam. Adamle says there is only room for one more match so they bicker a bit. Adamle finally cuts them off and makes a tag match between the two of them and Kofi Kingston/Mickie James, winner take all.

Video on John Cena.

Batista is happy to get a shot at the Tag Team Titles but could go for a different partner. He could also go for the World Title shot at Summerslam but if beating John Cena gets him there, so be it.

Layla dances in the ring and we see a clip of her ending things with Jamie Noble (who had made reservations at Waffle House). Cue William Regal to remind us that he is the King Of The Ring but here is Noble to interrupt. The brawl is on but referees break it up.

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho/John Bradshaw Layfield

Non-title. Hold on though as Mike Adamle pops up on screen to say that this match has a ten minute time limit. If the match goes to the time limit, it’s a triple threat match at Summerslam for the title. JBL and Jericho argue to start so Punk jumps them, not wanting a triple threat either. A double shoulder drops Punk and Jericho gets sent outside. The fall away slam gives JBL two on Punk an JBL slowly hammers away in the corner.

Jericho manages to send JBL into the steps though and the chinlock has Punk in trouble. Back up and Punk catches him on top, only to get pulled into an abdominal stretch with five minutes left. JBL comes back in and tries to steal the pin on Punk, meaning it’s time for the villains to slug it out. JBL gets sent outside so the Lionsault can give Jericho two. Punk is back up with a springboard clothesline to JBL before sending Jericho into the corner with three minutes left.

Punk’s running knee in the corner sets up the bulldog to drop JBL and the GTS gets two with Jericho making the save. Jericho gets catapulted into JBL for two as we have a minute and a half left. Another GTS attempt is countered into the Walls on Punk with JBL making his own save…and then falling on Punk to steal the pin with one second left.

Rating: C+. This had quite a few different rules and while they might have been more complicated than necessary, at least it clears up the question of who will be getting the title shot. On the other hand, it’s JBL, who is just so boring with everything he does that he drains the life out of everything. Punk should be able to get a nice title defense, but dang it is not going to be interesting on the way there.

We get a long recap of Chris Jericho injuring Shawn Michaels’ eye and possibly ending his career.

Michaels joins us from San Antonio and says his eye is really banged up. The injury has allowed him to take a break and heal up a bit but he has all kinds of health issues. He has another evaluation two days before Summerslam and he wants to come to the show and announce his decision. If he is allowed to compete, even on a part time basis, he’ll do it, but he’s going to listen to his doctors. Chris Jericho said maybe Shawn should just go home and be with his family….and maybe he should.

Here is Matt Striker to remind us who he is and request the best competition.

Matt Striker vs. Kane

Kane powers him away to start and shrugs off a forearm to the back. Kane plants him with a slam, hits the top rope clothesline and finishes with the chokeslam.

Post match Kane grabs the bag he has been carrying around and says he has been in a bad place lately. He looks at the bag and says “he’s not alive, he’s dead.”

Smackdown Rebound.

Summerslam rundown.

Video on Batista.

John Cena talks about how that video gives him a perspective on Batista, because it makes him know what Batista can do in the ring. As for Mike Adamle, we’ll have to see what happens with his time as the boss, but anyone can see what happens when Cena and Batista face off.

Cena has been overshadowed by Batista more than once and knew that they were going to go head to head at some point. They they both wound up on Raw and he knew it would happen one day. Then a few weeks ago, he punched Batista in the face and knew that one day was going to be at Summerslam. First though, they can become Tag Team Champions. Cena hopes they win. This was the kind of promo that made the match feel so much bigger, which is where Cena tends to shine.

Kelly Kelly comes in to see Mike Adamle to compliment him on everything he has done. She brings up Kane, but Adamle has an idea for him for next week. For now though, she’s going to watch the main event with him.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. Batista/John Cena

Cena and Batista are challenging. DiBiase starts with Cena and is quickly knocked down for an early two. Batista comes in to shove Rhodes down and fires off the shoulders in the corner. A missed charge goes into the post though and we take a break. Back with Rhodes working on the arm but Batista powers out again and hands it off to Cena. DiBiase breaks up the FU though and hits a belly to back. The fist drop (ala his dad) has commentary thinking DiBiase is mocking the Five Knuckle Shuffle because these two aren’t very good at times.

Batista does not look impressed as Cena gets double elbowed down for two more. Rhodes grabs a sleeper (from the left for a weird look) and then DiBiase does the same (from the right side, in case you were wondering), only to have Cena reverse into one of his own. That’s broken up as well but Cena walks over and slaps Batista in the face for the tag. A backdrop and spear take DiBiase down and Cena cuts Rhodes off, leaving the Batista Bomb to connect for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. The match itself was fairly dull, but the storytelling with Batista not wanting to do this because he can’t stand Cena, while Cena is always going to want to compete and win because that’s who he is. It made for an interesting dynamic and gives another layer to a match that is pretty much already set up. Other than that, it was a fairly long match with Cena and Batista running through the champions at the end, which is a bit more acceptable when you have a modern day Mega Powers in Cena and Batista.

Batista rather forcefully hands Cena his belt and they slowly hold up the titles. It turns into a pose off and then a staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show is pretty much Cena/Batista and then everything else, as there is very little that I would want to see otherwise. Adamle is just not interesting, which might be what they’re going for but it’s not making for the most thrilling material. Other than that, you have the World Title stuff which is hardly making me want to see what happens next. Batista and Cena are good stuff, but I’m going to need a lot more than that to sell this side of the Summerslam card.

 

 

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Smackdown – August 1, 2008: He Has A Plan

Smackdown
Date: August 1, 2008
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mick Foley, Jim Ross

Things have gotten more interesting around here as Vickie Guerrero seems to be rather vengeful after Edge cheated on her. As a result, Edge is now set for a Hell In A Cell match against the Undertaker at Summerslam, which cannot end well for him. Other than that, HHH is set to defend the World Title against the Great Khali. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Edge apologizing to Vickie Guerrero but getting sent to the Cell anyway.

Opening sequence.

Here is Jeff Hardy to watch the first match as we’re told that he is facing Edge at Saturday Night’s Main Event. This is noteworthy as other than the Jenny McCarthy stuff, the show has not been mentioned in the slightest.

MVP vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

MVP comes out first and is announced as “coming to the ring to face Jimmy Wang Yang”, which isn’t something you often hear. Before the match, MVP mocks Hardy for never being WWE Champion because of his risky behavior. MVP wastes no time in knocking Yang down and then faceplants him without much trouble. The double underhook crank goes on, allowing MVP to yell at Hardy a bit more. Yang fights up and strikes away, including a running spinwheel kick in the corner. MVP is right back with a gutbuster though and the Drive By finishes.

Post match Hardy gets in the ring and tells MVP to never mention his family or dog again. The ensuing brawl goes to Hardy.

Chavo Guerrero isn’t sure who the surprise guest on the Cutting Edge is tonight but he and Vickie Guerrero run into Alicia Fox. JR: “What is the wedding planner still doing here?”

Mr. Kennedy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. The bell rings and Kennedy gets in another name shout, as is his custom. Benjamin takes him down but gets chased to the floor for a bit of a surprised reaction. Back in and Kennedy starts in on the arm but Benjamin drives him into the corner to break that up. Kennedy gets in a knee to put Benjamin down and goes back to the arm. The armbar keeps Benjamin down before Kennedy kicks him in the face. Back up and Kennedy misses a charge into the post though and we take a break.

We come back with Benjamin working on the arm for a change as they’re not exactly going at a high gear so far. A shoulderbreaker gives Benjamin two and the ensuing arm stomping has the fans a bit restless. Benjamin wraps his legs around the arm (at least he’s mixing it up) before switching to a cross armbreaker.

The cranking continues until Kennedy finally reverses into something close to a Sharpshooter, sending Benjamin over to the rope. Kennedy fights back but Benjamin jumps to the top for a spinning crossbody for two in one of those insane athletic displays of his. Kennedy can’t quite get a backslide but he can kick Benjamin in the face and hit the Mic Check for the pin.

Rating: C-. I don’t know what’s going on with WWE’s matches this week but they have felt incredibly lazy and slow paced. It’s been a lot of laying around in holds without much action in between. That doesn’t feel like what WWE usually does but it’s really not working. The talent is there, but it doesn’t matter if they aren’t going to use it.

Post match Benjamin says he won’t make excuses….but he has bronchitis.

Chavo Guerrero comes in to see Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins, who haven’t seen Edge. Their discussion of wrestling figures continues.

The Brian Kendrick vs. Stevie Richards

Ezekiel is here with Kendrick. Before the match, Kendrick talks about how smart he is and goes over his history in WWE, which was all a ruse to get here. If you have any problem with that, take it up with Ezekiel. Kendrick takes him down to start and cranks on the neck with something like a camel clutch dragon sleeper. Since that can’t last long, Kendrick hits a middle rope dropkick to the back for two, setting up a Boston crab.

With that broken up, Kendrick settles for kicking Richards back down and then standing on his head. Er, Richards’ head if that isn’t clear. Richards gets fired up and fights back, hitting his own kick for two. A nice Sky High gets two on Kendrick and Richards sends him outside, where Ezekiel cuts off the crash. Back in and a quick shot lets Kendrick hit the Kendrick for the win.

Rating: C. Richards’ comeback was nice here but it’s nice to see Kendrick getting to keep building himself up. He’s different enough kind of star and I’ve been digging the start of his run around here. Richards is a good choice to put someone over and make them look good, thankfully which didn’t take long to make happen.

Post match Ezekiel puts Richards in a torture rack for good measure.

Great Khali vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy realizes this isn’t going to be easy but shoves Khali anyway. Some right hands and a clothesline stagger Khali a bit but he takes Hardy down with a clothesline of his own. Hardy get knocked into the corner and slowly beaten down, as you might have seen coming. A hard slam puts Hardy down again so Khali does it a second time.

The big elbows in the corner rock Hardy again and Khali knocks him outside to cut off a comeback attempt. We take a break and come back with Khali putting on a nerve hold to keep Hardy in trouble. Hardy fights up again and manages a Whisper in the Wind for the big knockdown. The Swanton connects but Hardy has to take out an invading MVP, allowing Khali to grab the vice for the win.

Rating: C. This was about all you could expect from such a match, as Khali going ten minutes is only going to go so well. Khali’s reputation for being terrible isn’t exactly fair, as he is more than capable of having a passable match. That’s what we got here, as Hardy was fighting from underneath the whole way with a few nice hope spots. It wasn’t terrible by any means, which is getting close to Khali’s peak.

We get another R-Truth video, this time talking about how poor decisions landed him in prison. Someone told him everything to do and when to do it but then he became a free man. Now he’s determined to never let that happen again because he is in control. These have been very good so far and make R-Truth seem rather interesting.

Maria vs. Victoria

Victoria easily takes her down to start and grabs a front facelock. Back up and Victoria mocks the Kiss Cam, setting up the spinning fireman’s carry side slam for two. A headscissors gets Maria out of trouble but Victoria plants her right back down for two. We hit the seated full nelson for a bit before Maria is back up with a sunset flip for two of her own. Maria kicks her way out of the corner and hits a middle rope clothesline for the pin.

Rating: C-. Maria feels like the Smackdown version of Kelly Kelly, as WWE seems like they want to push her based on her looks and charisma. That makes sense, but the in-ring stuff just isn’t quite there. Maybe it could change for her as she is still mostly new in the ring, but it’s easy to see why she’ll get chance after chance. The fact that the fans like her a lot is only going to make it easier too.

Edge is in a confined space with Alicia Fox, apparently having invited her. He got her the ticket to the show because she’ll want to see his special guest.

Video on HHH.

Summerslam rundown.

Big Show vs. Domino

Domino tries a waistlock to start and is quickly knocked outside. Back in and some chops set up the chokeslam to finish Domino quick.

Post match Umaga comes out for the staredown with Show.

Chavo Guerrero and Vickie Guerrero don’t know who the special guest on the Cutting Edge is going to be. Didn’t we already establish that?

Here is Edge for the Cutting Edge, complete with a table, a ladder and a chair. He’s rather worried as he sits down to talk about his recent search for inner peace. His marriage is going through a rough patch, but in just over two weeks, he’ll be locked in a Cell with the Undertaker.

We pause for the UNDERTAKER chant before Edge talks about all the footage he’s seen of the destruction Undertaker can cause. That is why he has surrounded himself with tables, ladders and chairs, because he knows them so well and they helped him vanquish Undertaker in the first place. He has found the one person who can help him against the Undertaker the most: MICK FOLEY!

This seems to take Foley by surprise but he eventually gets in the ring. Edge understands that they have history but he is a changed man. What he wants is Foley to remember what he used to be, so we get a video on 1998, including a bunch of stuff that has nothing to do with Foley.

Eventually we get to the Cell match with Foley and Undertaker, which has Foley smiling a bit. Edge knows Foley is still feeling that match but he walked away on his own. Since then, Edge has seen Foley try and fail to walk properly. Now Foley has the chance to help Edge get back at the Undertaker. Foley talks about how much he would love to help Edge, but the one thing he has going for him is his word.

For years, Foley has praised Edge both on the microphone and on the written page. Unless fans have a really long memory, they think Edge sucks. They have been looking at an Edge who takes shortcuts and plays the numbers game while relying on his wife. Foley cannot help Edge, because only Edge can help himself. He needs to find the Edge who made Foley believe in him.

Where is the Edge who made the letters TLC mean something? Just two years ago, they had the greatest hardcore match in Wrestlemania history. If Edge can find that Edge, Foley and JR can call the greatest match WWE has ever seen. But if it’s the Edge we’ve been seeing, the one who wears a white tuxedo and uses a loofah, Undertaker will massacre him. Edge understands and then decks Foley with the microphone but Foley fights back.

They go outside with Foley finding a chair but Edge kicks it back into his face. The spear sends Foley head first into the steps, allowing Edge to load up the table back inside. A quick Mandible Claw is broken up by a low blow and Edge puts him on the table. The big chair shots off the ladder through the table leaves Foley broken to end the show.

They took their sweet time to get there, but as usual, Foley can bring the goods when you ask him to get serious and emotional. They had to do this kind of a change for Edge, because Foley was right when he said we hadn’t seen the really good one for a long time. It’s the kind of beatdown you need, though I do continue to wonder why anyone would want Foley’s advice on a Cell match when he never actually won any of them.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was almost all about Edge, with only MVP/Jeff Hardy being something noteworthy otherwise. They’re betting heavily on that one match and I’m not sure it’s enough for two hours, especially with Undertaker not being around. Throw in HHH not being here other than for a staredown last week and Edge is carrying this show on his back. He can make that work if everything goes right, but there isn’t enough going on to make this show good. The Edge stuff was good, but they need something else and HHH is going to have to be back to make that work.

 

 

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ECW On Sci-Fi – July 29, 2008: This Was Really Bad

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: July 29, 2008
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Tazz

We have a new broadcast team this week after Mike Adamle was named General Manager of Raw for reasons I don’t quite comprehend. The big story here is that Matt Hardy is the new #1 contender to the ECW Title, but unfortunately that’s about the only story of note on this show. Maybe they can get something else set up this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We look back at Matt Hardy winning a four way last week to become the new #1 contender.

Opening sequence.

Tazz introduces Todd Grisham to the broadcast team.

Here is Matt Hardy for a chat. He was excited to be drafted to ECW about a month ago because it felt like a perfect fit, given his history of going to the extreme. Now he has a huge opportunity because he could be ECW Champion…and here is Mark Henry, with Tony Atlas, to interrupt. Atlas talks about how Henry was drafted to ECW as well and now he is the ECW Champion.

But what has Hardy done since he was drafted here? Lose the US Title! For now though, we’ll settle for a demonstration, with Henry bending a steel bar, just like he’ll do to Hardy at Summerslam. Hardy says it’s a wrestling match at Summerslam and unlike the bar, he can fight back. Henry can break his bones but he cannot break his spirit, which is why Hardy will win the ECW Title. This was basically Henry saying he’ll win, Henry showing off his power, and Hardy not caring. I’m going to need more than that.

Ricky Ortiz vs. Chavo Guerrero

Bam Neely is here with Guerrero. They take their time to start until Ortiz powers him down without much effort. A gorilla press plants Guerrero again but he manages to kick Ortiz into the ropes for a needed breather. The reverse chinlock with a knee in the back goes on, followed by a front facelock to keep Ortiz in trouble. Ortiz fights up but gets sent face first into the buckle to cut him off. Guerrero grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes and Neely helping…but the referee catches them for the DQ.

Rating: C-. It was maybe a bit better than Ortiz’s debut but there is nothing here that makes him stand out in any way. He’s the same generic wrestler with a good set of muscles and a lot of hair, but that’s about it. ECW needs some fresh stars, but this hasn’t exactly made me interested in anything Ortiz is doing.

Post match the beatdown is on until Evan Bourne runs in to…well get a cheap shot on Guerrero and Neely, who chases him off. Ortiz is still down in the ring so Bourne didn’t really accomplish much there.

Colin Delaney comes in to see Mark Henry and Tony Atlas, asking why they left him last week. Atlas says Delaney needs to prove he belongs with them, which he can do tonight….against Matt Hardy.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle

Finlay and Miz get things going with the camera making sure to point out the shillelagh on the apron. For some reason Miz decides to charge at Finlay, who grabs him by the face and drops an elbow. The nerve hold doesn’t last long before Finlay drops him with a shoulder for two. We’re already in the chinlock, making me think that they’re on rather different pages for whatever reason.

Morrison comes in for a cravate on Finlay, only to have Hornswoggle come in to trip Morrison down. Everything breaks down and stereo seated sentons send the villains outside as we take a break. Back with Morrison fighting out of a headlock (that’s a weird one) but getting taken right back down for a kick between the shoulders.

We hit the chinlock AGAIN as it’s like they’re allergic to getting going here. Morrison fights up but misses the breakdancing legdrop, allowing Finlay to grab a half crab. That doesn’t last long either as Morrison drives him into the corner, only to get backslided for two. Finlay puts the nerve hold on again as I’m almost in awe of what they’re doing here.

Back up and Finlay hits a clothesline, only to have Miz break up the cover. Finlay goes after Miz and gets posted as we might actually be doing something for a change. Miz comes in for the armbar but Morrison misses a slingshot dropkick. Finlay gets in a suplex for two and Hornswoggle tags himself in. A headscissors is blocked though and Morrison hits a reverse powerbomb for the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in a long time and I really don’t know what they were doing. Finlay more or less wrestled the match by himself, which makes sense as Hornswoggle can’t do much, but it didn’t need to be that dull. Maybe they were trying to fill in time or something, but Finlay is capable of much better than what we got here. Rather bad stuff.

Post match Miz and Morrison leave, allowing Mike Knox to come in and lay Finlay out.

Matt Hardy vs. Colin Delaney

Mark Henry and Tony Atlas are on the stage despite saying they would be in Delaney’s corner. Delaney gets knocked the corner and suplexed as Hardy doesn’t seem to be having too much trouble to start. A boot in the corner slows Hardy down and a middle rope dropkick actually gives Delaney two. Hardy easily suplexes him back down though and hits the middle rope elbow t othe back of the head. The Side Effect and Twist of Fate finish for Hardy in a hurry.

Post match Atlas and Henry come to the ring, with Henry launching Delaney to the floor. Henry stares Hardy down and then leaves, walking by Delaney to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was one of the weaker things I’ve seen from WWE in a long time, as there is just nothing going on here to warrant it being its own show. Atlas summed up the problem with Hardy as the challenger: the only thing he recently did was lose, which isn’t exactly something that makes me want to see what he does next. The rest of the show wasn’t much better, making this pretty horrible.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 28, 2008: The Silence Is Deafening

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 28, 2008
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 14,722
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the way to Summerslam and the end of last week’s show seemed to set up what could be a heck of a big Raw main event. It seems that we are on the way to a showdown between John Cena and Batista, which is the kind of a match that could headline Wrestlemania if given the chance. That should do for Summerslam, but we could be in for a bit of an uneven reaction in Batista’s hometown. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of the Batista/John Cena/CM Punk/Kane/JBL situation from last week, leaving us with Batista and Cena squaring off to end the show.

Opening sequence.

Here is John Cena to get things going and he has to acknowledge the mixed reaction. He is now perfect and he has made a mistake, meaning there are consequences to face. Last week, he hit Batista in the mouth and that means there are going to be consequences (I think he said that already.). If Batista would like to come out here, they can settle those consequences right now.

Cue Batista, who says that he saw what happened and they’re cool. They’re cool enough that once Batista defeats CM Punk to win the World Title, Cena is getting the first shot. Cena finds that nice….but Batista has already had his two shots. There are a lot of guys who deserve a shot and Cena isn’t sure Batista is at the top of that list. Batista laughs and says he knows CM Punk can’t beat him and neither can Cena.

That has Cena laughing as well, saying that Batista must be glad to be back home. A match between them should headline Wrestlemania, but what if we did Wrestlemania tonight? Batista likes the sound of that….but here is the returning Shane McMahon to interrupt. He and Stephanie McMahon have selected the new General Manager for tonight’s show, who we will meet later.

The new GM has made a bunch of matches tonight, including CM Punk against a free agent. As for Batista vs. Cena, it won’t be happening tonight, because Cena will be facing JBL and Kane. Oh and he can have Batista as a partner. Shane seemed a bit off here, speaking much more quietly and calmly than usual.

Santino Marella/Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly/D’Lo Brown

Before the match, Santino and Beth argued over who kissed whom last week but agreed to keep this strictly professional. The men start things off, with Santino saying he has this but getting his kick to the ribs blocked. Brown hits him with a rather hard clothesline and then knocks him into the corner off a right hand.

A missed charge lets Santino grab a neckbreaker though but he can’t manage a fireman’s carry. Instead Beth tags herself in and easily lifts Brown for a funny spot. Kelly comes in for some running forearms but Beth knees her down without much trouble. Santino wants in but misses an elbow, which does not sit well with Beth. Instead Santino grabs a rollup for the fast pin and the big celebration.

Post match we get a celebratory…handshake, but neither seem happy with that. Santino puckers up but gets glared at, only to have Beth grab him by the hair for a rather firm kiss of her own.

Shane McMahon looks at a picture of Vince McMahon when JBL interrupts to ask how Vince is doing. Shane ignores the question so JBL moves on to asking about the World Title. That’s something JBL needs to take up with the GM, but his question about Kane is cut off by a phone call from the new GM (and yes the ringtone is Shane’s theme song).

Raw Tag Team Titles: Jim Duggan/Jerry Lawler vs. Ted DiBiase Jr./Cody Rhodes

DiBiase and Rhodes are defending and Lawler comes out from the entrance rather than just getting up from commentary. Actually hold on though as the new General Manager has sent in a notice saying that Lawler will not be teaming up with Duggan, but there is a replacement.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Michael Cole/Jerry Lawler vs. Ted DiBiase Jr./Cody Rhodes

DiBiase and Rhodes are still defending and Cole is less than happy. After a break, Cole is on the apron (meaning no commentary, which is always weird) and Lawler naturally tells him that he’s going to do this on his own. DiBiase starts for the team and backs Lawler into the corner for a surprisingly clean break. It works so well that DiBiase does it again, but this time Lawler slaps him in the face to pick things up a bit.

DiBiase runs him over and hammers away before handing it off to Rhodes, who gets slapped as well. Lawler hammers Rhodes down in the corner but a middle rope dropkick gets Rhodes out of trouble. We hit the armbar but Lawler fights up and slugs away, as he is known to do. It’s way too early for the piledriver though and Lawler is sent into the corner…where Cole makes contact and that’s a tag. Rhodes sends Lawler outside so Cole actually hits him in the face, much to the fans’ delight. A hard clothesline retains the title.

Rating: C. This was much more of an angle than a match and that’s ok for something like this one. The new GM is apparently quite the villain, which should make for a bigger deal later tonight. If nothing else, DiBiase and Rhodes looked like the biggest villains in the world here, which is a good sign and better than they would have gotten out of Lawler and Duggan.

Post break Mike Adamle has taken over for Cole. Adamle says he was told to be here this week, suggesting that the GM had this planned in advance.

Here is Jamie Noble, with Layla, to say the new GM needs to pay attention to him. He wants to show off for Layla and prove that he’s the next Intercontinental Champion, so “Coffee” Kingston needs to get out here right now.

Kofi Kingston vs. Jamie Noble

Non-title. Noble hammers away to start and slams him down for two. Kofi is back up with the assortment of kicks into the Boom Drop, setting up a middle rope crossbody. Noble tries a fireman’s carry but gets caught with the spinning kick to the head to give Kingston the fast pin.

CM Punk vs. ???

Non-title, JBL is on commentary, and it’s……the returning William Regal, who is back from a Wellness suspension. Regal (in a sleeveless vest for a weird visual) grabs a headlock to start and takes Punk down. They go to the mat and Punk is rather overmatched. A jawbreaker gets Punk out of trouble and a leg lariat puts Regal down. Some knees in the corner just annoy Regal though and he hammers away, setting up a kick to the head against the post.

Back in and Punk (bleeding from the nose) gets taken down with Regal grinding a forearm into the jaw. Regal slowly forearms away and grabs a half nelson, which isn’t something you often see. Punk fights up and kicks away, including a hard one upside the head for two. A hard half nelson suplex drops Punk again, only to have him come back with the GTS for the fast pin.

Rating: B-. They were beating each other up out there and it was a fun match to see, even if it didn’t last long. You can imagine Punk being rather happy with getting to work with a veteran like Regal, who was probably happy to be back period. It was a nice return for Regal, who is always nice to have around.

Post match JBL gets in the ring so Punk is waiting on him, only for Kane to come out and drop JBL. Punk goes after Kane and gets taken down by JBL, who seems to come to an understanding with Kane.

Here are Chris Jericho and Lance Cade, for what is described as the final Highlight Reel. Jericho, in a suit, talks about how he has done something none of the fans here have done as he grew up. For years, he was seen as an entertainer and a party host for the new millennium. That is what he thought the fans wanted so he went along with it and even hosted his own talk show.

It was a pathetic mistake to pander to the fans and he was wrong to go that way. He will never settle for what the fans want again so tonight, the Highlight Reel is over. Before we go though, Jericho has a special tribute to a man whose career he personally ended. It’s not Shawn Michaels though, but rather Y2J. We see some clips of Jericho’s less than serious moments (a lot of which involves being mean to Stephanie McMahon) before Jericho asks if the fans miss that guy.

That footage embarrasses Jericho because he could have done that forever but no one would have ever respected him like Shawn Michaels. That made him realize he had to do something about it so he has given Michaels such a beating that he is gone forever. When he hurt Michaels, he hurt every one of the fans. Cade says he appreciates Jericho for taking him under his wing and saving him.

Jericho appreciates him as well, just like he appreciates how hard it is for Michaels to try to watch this show. He wants Michaels to listen to him for the first time ever: stay home and move on with your life. Enjoy life away from wrestling and move on, just like Jericho has. Speaking of which, he wants the Summerslam title match too. This was the really good evil Jericho and he has me wanting to see Michaels come back and get his revenge. Great stuff here.

Jim Ross joins commentary and has to correct Adamle from saying Survivor Series tickets will be on sale, because they will be “available”. That is a Vince line if I’ve ever heard one.

Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall

Non-title and Mickie’s dad is in the front row. Mickie starts fast and tries the hurricanrana but gets faceplanted for her efforts. Hall’s running flipping faceplant sets up something like a dragon sleeper, followed by some screeching. JR critiques Adamle’s move calling as Mickie fights back with a Thesz press and slugs away. The MickieDT finishes Hall rather quickly.

Post match Mickie goes to hug her dad but gets jumped by Katie Lea Burchill. Paul Burchill comes out as Katie says they’ll both be champions soon.

Todd Grisham can’t get Shane McMahon to reveal the GM, but whoever it is, they’re already here.

Summerslam rundown.

Jenny McCarthy still doesn’t like autism. Various celebrities agree.

Cryme Tyme have John Cena’s back for the main event but Batista comes in. Cena says he has this so Cryme Tyme leaves, with Batista telling Cena to stay out of his way. Then they aren’t sure who should go to the ring first.

Batista/John Cena vs. Kane/John Bradshaw Layfield

Cena and JBL start things off with JBL hammering him down to limited avail. Cena is right back with the Throwback for one and Batista tags himself in as JR is trying to figure out why he’s on the show this week. JBL’s forearm to the back doesn’t get him very far as Batista plants him with a powerslam. Kane makes the save so the villains are cleared out, leaving Batista and Cena to glare at each other as we take a break.

Back with JBL grabbing a swinging neckbreaker to put Cena down and handing it off to Kane. A basement dropkick and slam give Kane two each and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up so it’s back to JBL, who knocks Cena into the corner again. Cena fights up again (he does that a lot) and double clotheslines Kane down. The big tag brings in Batista to clean house including the spinebuster to JBL (Batista was polite enough to say “SPINEBUSTER” before he did it).

A low bridge takes Batista down though and Kane gets to come back in for a kick to the ribs. Kane stays on said ribs with a bodyscissors before it’s back to JBL to hammer away in the corner. Batista gets up again and spears JBL, who is right back with a big boot. Unfortunately JBL is also back with a right hand that hits Kane by mistake, meaning it’s time for some stalking. Cena uses the distraction to tag himself in and hit the AA to finish Kane.

Rating: C+. This got some time and felt like a big main event, though there is only so much interest in Batista and Cena as partners when they are likely to be fighting each other in a few weeks. Other than that you have Kane and JBL who are….well they’re not that interesting. There isn’t a big time heel at the moment and odds are that is going to be the GM, which doesn’t have the best track record.

Post match Shane McMahon comes out to announce that the new General Manager is….Mike Adamle. The fans are stunned into silence and it’s made even worse as he announces Cena vs. Batista for Summerslam. The staredown gets almost no reaction as the fans are stunned by the announcement to end the show. If that’s the best they’ve got, this show is in BIG trouble because the silence was almost scary after that announcement.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t a very good show in the first place and then it was made even worse by that terrible reveal at the end. I’m not sure how the best choice is the third show’s dorky/dumb announcer, but I don’t see this ending well. Maybe they have something better planned, but possibly the biggest match at Summerslam getting that kind of a reaction is a very telling sign. The rest of the show was hardly much better, with a bunch of lame stuff and nothing worth seeing. Pretty weak show here, and it isn’t giving me much hope going forward either.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – July 25, 2008: Got Him

Smackdown
Date: July 25, 2008
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Mick Foley

We are done with the Great American Bash and HHH is still the World Champion, having beaten Edge, who is still having all kinds of issues with his new bride, Vickie Guerrero. That could go in a few different ways but odds are it is going to be the big focal point for the time being. Other than that, HHH Is going to need a new challenger for Summerslam so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Edge marrying and then cheating n Vickie Guerrero.

Opening sequence.

Here is MVP with the VIP Lounge to get things going. After bragging about his hair, MVP lists off his various nicknames before bringing out his controversial guest: Jeff Hardy. MVP gets right to the point by announcing that Hardy will be in a battle royal for the shot at HHH at Summerslam. Naturally MVP is the favorite to win the match but Hardy brings up that MVP hasn’t won a match in….well a long time actually.

MVP talks about how Hardy has a lot going on right now, like being on the cover of WWE Magazine. Hardy likes to take big risks, but some of them have resulted in some big failures. One of those failures is talked about in the Magazine, with Hardy saying it resulted in a 60 day suspension (but not actually saying what it was). MVP brings up Hardy losing the Intercontinental Title and his home in a fire, with Hardy not being sure why we’re talking about this.

MVP thinks Hardy’s reckless behavior might have resulted in the death of his dog and that is making him feel guilty (geez). The reality is that Hardy is ruining his career with his behavior and because of that, he will never be WWE Champion. MVP doesn’t buy that Hardy will never be suspended again, with Hardy saying he’ll be released instead.

That doesn’t work for MVP, who says Hardy needs to start acting like a professional and a grown man. Hardy says he’s all about second changes, which is something MVP should know about. MVP tells him to settle down and gets shoved to the floor. This was a really weird segment and felt more like a public punishment/embarrassment for Hardy than anything else.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Non-title. Before the match, Benjamin says he liberated the US Title from Matt Hardy and there ain’t no stopping him now. Benjamin throws him down to start and drops some knees as Foley talks about Benjamin yelling at him backstage. Yang gets in an enziguri into a headscissors as Foley compares Yang’s speed to Cool Papa Bell (look him up). Not that it matters as Benjamin hits Paydirt for the fast pin.

The Edgeheads come in to see Edge, who is proud of them for winning the Tag Team Titles. Edge wants to apologize but they say it was his business. They have a match to get ready for and leave rather quickly. Edge looks at his wedding ring.

Festus vs. Curt Hawkins

Jesse and Zack Ryder are here too. Festus strikes away to start but misses a charge in the corner. Back up and Festus knocks him to the floor, where Jesse cuts off Ryder from ringing the bell. They head back inside, where Festus grabs the fireman’s carry flapjack for the fast pin.

Post match the bell rings and Jesse and Festus get beaten down.

Jenny McCarthy and her celebrity friends don’t like autism.

Edge corners Alicia Fox in the back and says she needs to blend in more. Bam Neely is shown listening as Edge says they’ll talk about this at the hotel. Saying it in front of a camera might not have been the best idea.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Stevie Richards

Kozlov takes him into the corner to start but Richards hits a quick clothesline for two. A belly to belly overhead suplex sets up a front facelock suplex as Richards is in trouble. Richards has to fight out of a Fujiwara armbar and sidesteps a charge to put Kozlov on the floor. Back in and a dropkick gives Richards one but a tornado DDT is blocked. The headbutt to the chest gives Kozlov the pin.

We get the same video on Edge/Vickie Guerrero/Alicia Fox that opened the show.

Battle Royal

Great Khali, MVP, Big Show, Jeff Hardy, Mr. Kennedy, Umaga

For the World Title shot at HHH at Summerslam. MVP bails to the floor to start, leaving Hardy and Kennedy to go after Khali in the corner. That gets them nowhere as Khali hits a double clothesline, followed by a big chop to MVP. Show hits a side slam on Umaga and gets the required showdown with Khali. Umaga is back up to superkick both of them down and we take a break.

Back with no one having been eliminated and Hardy hitting the Whisper In The Wind on Umaga. Everyone pairs off again and Hardy tosses out MVP for the first elimination. Show and Umaga slug it out with Show shouldering him down and then throwing Umaga out. Kennedy hammers on Show and is thrown out for his efforts.

That leaves us with Hardy, Umaga and Khali, with Khali chopping Show down. Show blocks the tree slam and manages a chokeslam, only to get headscissored out by Hardy. A Swanton hits Khali but just seems to get him back to his feet. Hardy kicks him low to escape the vice but Khali hits a chop and gets the win.

Rating: C. They kept this moving quickly enough and it for a better battle royal. You can only get so far with six competitors in the first place but the good thing is almost anyone could have won. I’ll take that over having a bunch of people with no chance in there and this worked well enough. Khali is certainly a dragon for HHH to slay and it should make for a….something main event.

Post match HHH comes out for the staredown.

We see a not so nice place with someone talking about growing up in a bad neighborhood, which is why he got caught in a life of crime. It taught him what he needed to know though and that is the truth, because R-Truth is coming to Smackdown.

Michelle McCool vs. Maryse

Non-title. McCool takes her down by the hair to start before they trade rams into the buckle. A dropkick drops Maryse (with a kick) but she sends McCool outside as commentary talks about Jennie Finch (popular softball player of her day). Back in and Maryse hammers away, only to get rolled into the heel hook to give McCool the fast win.

Raw Rebound.

Chavo Guerrero wheels Vickie Guerrero into the arena, where Bam Neely greets them.

Next week: Maria.

Edge tells Bam Neely that he needs to talk to Vickie Guerrero, in the arena.

Brian Kendrick vs. Shannon Moore

Before the match, Kendrick tells us how lucky we are to get to see him in person, because he’s that good. He also introduces us to his rather large bodyguard named Ezekiel, who will deal with anyone who tries to touch greatness. Kendrick hammers away in the corner to start but misses a charge, allowing Moore to hit a quick legdrop. Ezekiel offers a distraction though and Kendrick gets in a shoulder on the apron. Kendrick grabs Sliced Bread #2, which is dubbed the Kendrick, for the fast pin.

Bam Neely tells Vickie Guerrero that Edge wants to see her in the arena…but he can’t remember who is supposed to do the apologizing. Vickie looks….I’m not sure really.

Ben Stiller doesn’t like autism.

Here is Edge for his big meeting with Vickie Guerrero. Edge gets right to the point and says he wants to apologize to her in public, face to face, so he would like her to come out here. It takes a pretty long time but Vickie, with Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely (in the busiest show of his life), finally comes out. Edge apologizes, saying that the video didn’t show how many times he tried to say no to Alicia Fox.

She was so aggressive and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Edge had to stay to hammer out the wedding plans because he knew how important it was to both of them. Nothing means more to him that Vickie’s happiness. Vickie seems touched and says she understands so we get a big hug, with Edge looking relieved. They’re not done though, as Vickie says she was a woman scorned.

While they’re better now, she did something when she was mad at him: she reinstated the Undertaker. Panic ensues but Edge says that’s good business. Undertaker and HHH can fight each other and he can pick the bones and get his title back. It’s not that simple though, as Vickie has already made a match between Undertaker and Edge at Summerslam….and it’s inside Hell In A Cell. Edge knows he’s in big trouble to end the show. This was actually a pretty awesome segment as Vickie strung him along for the whole time, knowing the bombshell she had waiting for him.

Overall Rating: C+. This wasn’t your normal show, with only one match breaking three minutes in two hours. At the same time, they set up a few major matches for Summerslam, which is off to a hot start. The opening and closing segments both worked well, with the battle royal being fine enough. This wasn’t a show that focused on the wrestling, which is ok every so often as it can give you some important results. That’s what they did here and it made for a good show.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi – July 22, 2008: Same Old Problems

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: July 22, 2008
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Adamle

We’re done with the Great American Bash and that means we need a new #1 contender to the ECW Title. Mark Henry dispatched Tommy Dreamer to the shock of no one and needs someone else to crush next. There is a chance we find that out here as Summerslam is less than a month away. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Teddy Long to present a much bigger ECW Title to Mark Henry. Thank goodness as the one he had looked like a toy. Henry, with Tony Atlas, comes out and is rather pleased with the new belt. Atlas talks about how this is a new ECW in the home of the original. That beautiful new title is something you can all be proud of and it is held by the World’s Strongest Man. If you try to hold onto the past, you will be swept aside, but if you go along with it, you will be fine.

Like Colin Delaney, who joins us in the ring for an explanation of why he betrayed Tommy Dreamer. Delaney wanted to be just like Dreamer, but it just got him beaten up over and over. Then he saw Atlas and Henry and wanted to be like them, so here we are. Delaney calls them his future, but Long says Dreamer is Delaney’s future. As in his immediately future.

Colin Delaney vs. Tommy Dreamer

Delaney hides in the corner to start so Dreamer powers him into and then back out of said corner. They go outside with Delaney getting in a cheap shot but Dreamer runs him over with a clothesline. Dreamer ties him in the Tree Of Woe for a running dropkick, followed by a pumphandle throw. The DDT finishes Delaney in a hurry.

Miz and John Morrison are unhappy with losing their Tag Team Titles but they’re ready to win the fatal four way tonight to crown a new #1 contender to the ECW Title. Well one of them anyway. Morrison: “May the Buddha of luck sit in your corner.”

Jenny McCarthy doesn’t like autism.

Evan Bourne vs. James Curtis

Chavo Guerrero, with Bam Neely, is on commentary. Bourne takes him down with an armbar to start as Chavo brags about his various accomplishments. Curtis makes the rope so Bourne hits a nice dropkick into a hurricanrana for two. Bourne grabs a sanding armbar but a monkey flip is blocked with a grab of the rope. A belly to back suplex gets two and we’re off to the chinlock. Bourne fights up and strikes away, with another hurricanrana setting up the shooting star press to finish Curtis.

Rating: C+. Curtis has been around a few times now and he’s done well in his short appearances, but there is only so much you can get out of a match that doesn’t even last five minutes. Other than that, Bourne continues his ascent as he is slowly becoming a bigger star around here, which is what ECW really needs.

Post match Guerrero and Neely go after Bourne but he gives them the slip.

Finlay is ready to win the four way to get an ECW Title shot. Finlay: “Who needs luck when you’ve got a shillelagh?”

Raw Rebound.

Tiffany talks to Ricky Ortiz about her marketing background when Teddy Long interrupts. Ortiz has been working on some ideas, including a nickname: The Latin Assassin, complete with hand gestures! Long points out the whole “you’ve had one match” issue so next week we’ll double that.

Video on Mike Knox.

Matt Hardy is ready to get back to winning.

Matt Hardy vs. Miz vs. John Morrison vs. Finlay

One fall to a finish for the ECW Title shot at Summerslam. As you might have expected, a mini tag match breaks out, with Miz and Morrison being sent outside rather quickly. Finlay backs Hardy into the corner for some trash talking before Finlay drops him with a left arm clothesline. Miz and Morrison get back in to take over, which is cut off rather quickly. Hardy’s middle rope elbow to the back of the head drops Morrison and a backslide gives Hardy two. Hardy stands alone and we take a break.

Back with Morrison hitting a neckbreaker on Finlay as Miz chokes Hardy on the ropes. Finlay gets back up to go after Miz and Morrison, including an atomic drop and right hand to Miz. Some rollups get two each before Miz sends Hardy into the buckle. Finlay grabs a Fujiwara armbar on Morrison as Hardy suplexes Miz for…no cover as the referee is WAY out of position. With that broken up, Finlay takes over and gets two each on Hardy and Miz, only to get posted by Morrison.

For some reason, Morrison goes after Hornswoggle, earning a toss over the barricade. Miz has to save Morrison and drives Finlay into said barricade as there is a bunch of water on the camera lens. Some double teaming puts Finlay down so Hardy gets the chance to beat up both villains for a change. The double teaming takes Hardy down in the corner though, with a double gutbuster making it even worse.

Posing ensues until Morrison rolls Hardy up for two, meaning it’s time for angry Miz. The argument is on but they go after Hardy instead, only for the Flying Chuck to take Miz out by mistake. Finlay remembers he’s in the match and comes back in with the Regal Roll for two on Hardy.

For some reason Finlay actually goes up for a middle rope dropkick to put Morrison down but Hardy is back up to take everyone out. Finlay is back with the running seated senton to Morrison, with Hardy making the save. Miz’s corner clothesline hits Hardy but goes after Hornswoggle due to reasons of Miz isn’t that smart. Finlay shillelaghs Miz but gets kicked in the head by Morrison. The distraction lets Hardy kick Morrison out of the air and hit the Twist of Fate for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. Good enough stuff here, with Hardy being the best choice for the next challenger. I’m not sure I can imagine Finlay challenging Mark Henry on a major show and that leaves the other two and….no. The match got some time and that made things a bit more interesting as Hardy had to overcome some odds, which went about as well as it could have gone.

Mark Henry comes out for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The main event got some time, but it really did feel like it was just there to fill in a lot of the show. That’s still the biggest problem with ECW: there is very, very little here, as you had three stories in an hour. That isn’t much to go on, and it only worked fairly well here. Not a bad show, but they still need a lot more depth as there is very little to get interested about.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 21, 2008: Cool For The Summerslam

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 21, 2008
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

So it’s been a bit since I’ve been on these but I might as well at least get through Summerslam. The Great American Bash has wrapped up and the big story is that CM Punk is still the Raw World Champion after going to a double DQ with Batista. At the same time, he is probably also going to have to deal with Kane, who attacked Punk after the match, and John Bradshaw Layfield, who actually beat John Cena. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Great American Bash if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Great American Bash, or at least the main event scene on the Raw side.

Batista is in the production truck and doesn’t like the recap of Kane attacking him.

Opening sequence.

Here is a ticked off Batista to get things going. He planned on coming out here as the new World Heavyweight Champion but then Kane got involved to cost him that title match. Since the McMahons aren’t here now, he’s going to put himself in charge, meaning he’ll be getting a rematch for the title against CM Punk. If anyone has a problem with that….and here is JBL on the Titantron to interrupt.

JBL asks why Batista should get the World Title match when he lost last night. He is entitled to the next World Title shot, but Batista thinks JBL should come out here and discuss that idea. JBL is banged up though and it’s feeling that tonight…so here is CM Punk to interrupt. Punk doesn’t want to hear from JBL right now (JBL is aghast) because he isn’t happy with Kane either.

Punk wanted to prove that he was the better man last night against Batista….so let’s do it again tonight. JBL rants on the Titantron but Batista says cut his mic. Punk is on for the match against Batista, with the title on the line, tonight. There are a bunch of matches to be had out of here and that is certainly one of them.

Jenny McCarthy welcomes us to join her in the ring to fight autism on Saturday Night’s Main Event. Oh dear.

Here is Shawn Michaels……’ music, with Lance Cade coming out instead. Cade used to look up to him as his mentor, but then things changed. He wants Shawn out here right now to have some words but here is Paul London instead.

Lance Cade vs. Paul London

London slugs away to start and jumps over him in the corner but Cade is right back with a backbreaker. London’s back gets bent over Cade’s knee for a bit before Cade sends him ribs first into the post. The sitout Rock Bottom spinebuster finishes London in a hurry to complete what was more or less a squash.

Post match Cade says that since Michaels won’t come out here, we’ll have Chris Jericho come out instead. Jericho says Michaels isn’t coming out tonight and he won’t be coming back. We look at Jericho beating Michaels the previous night via stoppage due to Michaels’ eye being destroyed, complete with the big dramatic music.

Back in the ring, Jericho talks about how Michaels knew how bad things were going to be and got in the ring anyway because he had to take another chance. Jericho talks about all of Michaels’ injuries, including a detached retina, which means he will never be able to see properly again. The thing is though that when Michaels’ eye closed, Jericho’s opened instead. Michaels never mentored Jericho, and now he is happy with what he did last night. The lack of remorse here was rather good and that has some potential, especially whenever Michaels gets back.

Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Kelly slips behind her to start and sweeps the leg but a rollup is easily blocked. Phoenix muscles her up for a slam and we hit something like a seated abdominal stretch. That’s broken up and Kelly’s enziguri his shoulder, setting up the screaming headscissors. The handspring elbow is loaded up and quickly blocked though, setting up the Glam Slam for the pin.

Rating: C. This felt like it was more about Kelly getting in some offense instead of being wrecked by Beth, which was quite the surprise. Beth already beat Santino Marella last week so it is clear that she is in for something big, though Kelly certainly got a focus here. She has a lot of the tools already and if she can get the in-ring aspect down, it could go rather well for her.

Here is Jim Duggan for a chat. He isn’t going to take up much time, but he is thinking about hanging up his boots. Last week, Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes said this was a game for young men, and maybe his time has passed by. He wanted to come out here and say thank you, but Jerry Lawler cuts him off. There is no age limit around here and Duggan can keep going as long as he wants to. Duggan can do something that Barack Obama and John McCain would love to do: get people to stand up and cheer USA. Duggan seems to like that and says no, he doesn’t want to give it up.

Cue Rhodes and DiBiase, with the latter thinking this is amazing. Just because Lawler likes to date women younger than him, he doesn’t get to explain things. Rhodes says he was two and a half years old when Duggan won the Royal Rumble, but they weren’t even alive when Lawler slapped Andy Kaufman. Lawler demonstrates the slap and DiBiase has to hold Cody back. For now though, they can deal with this later, but watch what’s about to happen.

Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Cryme Tyme/John Cena

Both Cena and JBL are rather banged up after last night but they start things off….with JBL handing it off to Cody instead. Cena punches him in the face and gets two off the bulldog before stopping to glare at JBL. Gaspard comes in for two off an elbow and a rather hard clothesline in the corner.

It’s off to DiBiase, who is quickly suplexed for two as the one sidedness continues. JTG comes in but gets caught with a cheap shot, which is enough for JBL to come in for a change. The big shoulder drops JTG and it’s back to Cody for the bearhug. That’s broken up due to reasons of it’s Cody doing a bearhug but DiBiase comes in to cut off the tag.

A middle rope double stomp gets two and Cody adds a top rope knee to the ribs. DiBiase drops some elbows on the ribs and grabs a bodyscissors as the villains certainly have a target here. JTG finally fights up and hits a quick dropkick for a breather. Cody comes ni but misses a charge into the post, allowing the tag off to Cena to start the house cleaning. JBL bails through the crowd, leaving Cena to fireman’s carry both Cody and DiBiase at the same time. Cody gets tossed and the FU finishes DiBiase.

Rating: C+. The heat segment on JTG was pretty long but Cena coming in to smash people is always worth a glance. While I could have gone without one of the Tag Team Champions losing, getting pinned by Cena is hardly the end of a career. Cryme Tyme continues to do well as Cena’s friends and that is certainly better than what they had been doing.

Chris Jericho and Lance Cade are going to lave but run into Kane, who still has that mask.

Various celebrities support Jenny McCarthy’s autism charity, which is working with WWE.

Mickie James/Kofi Kingston vs. Paul Burchill/Katie Lea

Mickie knocks Katie into the corner to start so Burchill comes in for some glaring. Kingston high crossbodies him to break that up but Burchill hammers him down rather quickly. The leg cranking goes on for a bit before Kingston is up with a sunset flip for two. The women start brawling on the floor so Burchill breaks it up before ducking Trouble In Paradise, which hits the post. Back in and the Wicked Sister gives Burchill the pin.

Rating: C+. This had some nice high spots from Kingston but it was mainly there for Burchill to get the pin, likely setting up a title match. That could be fine for a one off match, though I’m not sure if Burchill is going to be the biggest threat. He’ll do for now though, even if Lea might not be so equal to James.

Jamie Noble is hitting on Layla when Batista comes in to ask if Noble has seen Kane. That’s a rather rude no, so Batista chokes Noble and says if he sees Kane, let him know that Batista is looking for him.

CM Punk says if he goes down, he’s going down swinging. JBL comes in to say he wants the World Title shot at Summerslam. He threatens to make Punk a transitional champion but Punk points out that he already beat JBL. Glaring ensues.

We look at Chris Jericho damaging Shawn Michaels’ eye again last night. It’s the same footage from earlier.

Here is Santino Marella for an open challenge. Well open to anyone but women that is.

Santino Marella vs. D’Lo Brown

Well there’s a surprise and cue Beth Phoenix to watch. Brown throws him into the corner and there’s a suplex to put him down again. A basement clothesline sets up the Low Down to give Brown the easy pin.

Post match Brown leaves so Phoenix gets in the ring and decks Marella. She wants a fight and they do a standing switch….then they stare at each other and kiss. As it tends to go.

Toby Keith doesn’t like autism, but he does like Jenny McCarty trying to fight autism.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. CM Punk

Batista is challenging…and here is Kane before the match gets started. The brawl is on, with Punk running in and getting beaten down as well. After some questions from the referee and the Big Match Intros, we’re ready to go. Punk’s headlock doesn’t last long as Batista kicks him in he face to take over.

Back up and Punk gets in a neckbreaker and kicks away for two. A drop toehold lets Punk take him down and hammer away as the fans don’t seem thrilled so far. Punk fires off some knees to the back and puts on a choke, which is broken up even faster. The Figure Four necklock goes on for a bit before Punk hits a running knee to the face for two more. The running knee into the bulldog gets two but Punk’s springboard clothesline is spinebustered out of the air. Batista fires off the shoulders in the corner and hits the spear, only for JBL to come in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This really didn’t work and that might be because Punk was on offense for so much of it. Punk beating on Batista is only so easy to believe in the first place and it doesn’t help when he’s already presented as an underdog champion. On top of that, you had the fans waiting on what was likely going to be some kind of run in, so there was only so much reason to get into things here.

Post match John Cena runs in to go after JBL but hits Batista by mistake. Cena and Batista have to be held back and there’s Summerslam.

Overall Rating: C+. This show wasn’t so much about doing anything here but rather about setting the pieces up for later. You can pretty clearly see Batista vs. Cena being set up at the end, which leaves JBL to challenge Punk because we’re that lucky. Other than that we probably have another Jericho vs. Michaels match coming up, which makes for a heck of a top of the card on the Raw side. Not a great show here, but it has set the stage for the good ones later.

 

 

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Great American Bash 2008 (2024 Edition): See You Next Show

Great American Bash 2008
Date: July 20, 2008
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 12,454
Commentators: Jim Ross, Mick Foley, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Mike Adamle

We’re wrapping up the period before the Summerslam build here and the card is one sided to put it mildly. The Smackdown side is pretty much Edge challenging HHH for the Smackdown World Title, plus a four way Tag Team Title match. On the other side, Raw has John Cena vs. JBL in a parking lot fight, CM Punk defending the Raw World Title against Batista and Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho in a grudge match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Vickie Guerrero and Edge’s wedding, plus HHH revealing that Edge cheated on her the night before to end Smackdown. The other big matches get some attention of their own.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Edgeheads vs. Miz/John Morrison vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Jesse and Festus

Miz and Morrison are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Festus clears the ring as tends to be his custom before Hornswoggle comes in for a stare…uh, up. Hornswoggle rolls up his sleeves but opts to dive onto Miz and Morrison instead. We settle down to Jesse monkey flipping Miz and knocking him down again for two. Festus beats on Miz as well before handing it off to Finlay. Morrison comes in and actually takes over on Finlay before bringing Miz back in for a chinlock.

It’s back to Morrison for his own chinlock as JR continues his Morrison to Rick Rude comparisons. Finlay fights up and double legs Miz down before doing the same thing to beat on Morrison. They collide in the corner so Ryder tags himself in to hammer Finlay down. The neck crank doesn’t last long on Finlay so Hawkins comes in to keep Finlay in trouble.

The Celtic Cross hits Hawkins and a shillelagh shot gets two, with Miz and Morrison making the save. Hawkins grabs a chinlock but Finlay is back up again, this time getting over to Hornswoggle to pick up the pace. Jesse tags himself in just as fast though and the fans are not pleased with the lack of Hornswoggle. Hawkins comes back in for a cheap shot on Hornswoggle but it’s back to Festus to really clean house. Miz and Morrison are sent outside and Hawkins breaks up the Rocket Launcher to pin Jesse and win the titles.

Rating: C+. It was a fast paced opener with a bunch of moving parts but they managed to keep the focus on just a few people at a time until the ending. Hawkins and Ryder winning the titles is the right way to go as Miz and Morrison have gotten everything they can out of them and La Familia is still the biggest thing on Smackdown. Give the team some more gold, as it’s not like Jesse and Festus or Hornswoggle/Finlay are worth anything.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Hardy is defending and is quickly taken to the mat to start. A small package gives Hardy two as well as a breather but Benjamin is right back with a headlock. That’s reversed into an armbar as they’re certainly starting slowly. Benjamin sends him to the apron for a ram into the post, setting up the armbar back inside. A gutbuster sets up the seated abdominal stretch as commentary talks about Benjamin’s aggression, despite there being nothing to suggest it exists here.

Hardy fights up and tries a Side Effect but gets planted with something like an STO. Back up and Hardy blocks Paydirt to start the comeback and hits the bulldog out of the corner. Hardy’s middle rope hurricanrana is countered into a heck of a buckle bomb and they’re both down. A Side Effect gives Hardy two but the moonsault…I think it was supposed to hit knees but Hardy overshot it anyway. Paydirt gives Benjamin the pin and the title.

Rating: C. The match was far from bad, but it wasn’t exactly thrilling, as it came off as more of a house show match. The ending didn’t help things either as commentary had to scramble to cover Hardy missing. It’s not like hardy was doing anything with the title anyway so switching it over to Benjamin works as well as anything else.

We see an interview from Monday, with CM Punk talking about how he’s always been the underdog. It’s not about your size or muscle and he’s in the business of proving everyone wrong, which is what he’s always done.

We look at HHH revealing that Edge cheated on Vickie Guerrero the day before their wedding.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer

Henry is defending and has Tony Atlas in his corner while Dreamer has Colin Delaney. Dreamer charges at him and is quickly shoved into the corner, with Henry throwing him around again for a bonus. A hard clothesline puts Dreamer down again and Henry steps on his head as a few BORING chants start up.

Henry works on the arm (which is code for he leans over and grabs the wrist), Dreamer fights up, Henry takes him down and works on the arm again. The splash misses though and Dreamer hits the basement dropkick but has to escape the World’s Strongest Slam. The DDT puts Henry down and Dreamer goes up for no apparent reason, allowing Delaney to pull him down. Henry hits the World’s Strongest Slam to retain.

Rating: D+. This was a good example of everything that is wrong with ECW. First of all, there was no reason to believe Dreamer was going to take the title. He hasn’t been nearly that important for a long time now and it wasn’t going to change here. Second, the Delaney turn doesn’t mean much as he’s a loser who didn’t exactly become a star when he was with Dreamer. Third, the match was really boring, which is quite ECW in a lot of ways. Rather dull stuff here and by far the worst thing on the show.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels, and thank goodness as the show needs it. Jericho claimed Michaels is a hypocrite (and was kind of right) and then took out his eye. Now Michaels is back for revenge and to prove that no matter what Jericho does, Michaels will always be better.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

They lock up to start and thankfully drop that in all of two seconds to start hitting each other in the face. Shawn gets the better of things with some chops and knocks Jericho into the corner before going after the leg. The reverse Figure Four has Jericho in early trouble but he’s in the ropes pretty quickly. Shawn stays on the leg and the referee stops things for a second to check on Jericho in the corner.

Jericho is fine enough to send Shawn over the corner and out to the apron, with Shawn favoring his back. The knee is fine enough to hit a triangle dropkick out to the floor before Jericho takes him inside for a double arm crank. With that broken up, Jericho dives into an atomic drop and Shawn drops him with the flying forearm. Shawn nips up but Jericho pulls him straight into the Walls, which is counter you don’t see very often.

This time Shawn makes the rope so Jericho loads up the bulldog, only to get dropped with a clothesline for two. The top rope elbow is broken up but Shawn wins a fight on top and now the elbow connects. Cue Lance Cade to break up the superkick but Shawn blocks the Codebreaker. They slug it out again until Shawn hiptosses him out onto Cade for the big crash. Naturally Shawn is right there with a moonsault onto the two of them and everyone is down again.

Back in and Shawn’s bad eye is busted open, with commentary not being sure when it was cut. Naturally Jericho goes right after the eye and knocks him into the ropes, where Cade gets in the cheap shot. The very bloody Shawn manages to pull him into a crossface but Jericho pulls him into the buckle for the violent escape. The referee wants to stop it but Shawn begs him not to, meaning Jericho is right back on the eye. Shawn is COVERED in blood and does the “pull myself up on the other guy’s tights” spot, only to have Jericho punch him down again and hammer away….until the referee finally stops it.

Rating: B+. This took some time to get going but there is almost no one better than Shawn at making you think he was dying in front of your eyes. Shawn was trying to fight and was still in there until the injury flared up again, along with Cade offering the distraction. This felt like the big middle piece in a bigger story and they pulled me in with the emotion and hatred. Awesome match and we’re almost certainly not done yet.

We get the emotional exit for Shawn, who has to be helped out.

Edge is really not pleased with HHH for violating his privacy and taking away his personal life. All Edge has left is his professional life and tonight, he will be extra dangerous.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

For the inaugural title but commentary is to busy talking about Edge/Vickie Guerrero. They grapple to the mat to start as commentary compares McCool to softball star Jennie Finch. Natalya wheelbarrow drops her throat first over the top to take over and we hit the surfboard to stay on McCool’s….well various parts. McCool powers out so Natalya switches to the Sharpshooter. That’s broken up as well and this time McCool pulls her into the heel hook for the title.

Rating: C-. These two were in the death slot as there was almost no way they were going to be able to follow the previous match. It doesn’t help that the match was almost a Natalya squash until McCool got in her one hold for the win. It’s rather nice for the women on Smackdown to have something to do, but they could use some more blood in the division or it is going to turn old fast.

Post match here is Chris Jericho to interrupt, saying you need to save your ticket stubs because this is the night of Shawn Michaels’ last match. Shawn has a detached retina and that means his career is over. It shows that the good guys win and the wicked are punished and the worst has finally come for Shawn. Jericho was feeling the evil here and it worked.

We recap CM Punk defending the World Title against Batista. Punk won Money In The Bank and used it to become champion, meaning he needs to prove himself worthy. Batista doesn’t seem to be overly intimidated so Punk is extra motivated.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending and we go old school with a weapons check. Batista powers him around to start and Punk realizes he might need another plan. Some kicks to the legs slow Batista down but he elbows Punk in the face to cut him off. An enziguri knocks Batista outside and Punk follows him outside with a suicide dive.

Back in and Punk strikes away, only to be run over to give Batista two. The camel clutch goes on to keep Punk in trouble, which is broken up as camel clutches tend to be. Punk gets up a shot to the face in the corner and hits a high crossbody for two. The Batista Bomb is countered but a powerslam isn’t, meaning Punk has to counter the Bomb again.

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but can’t hit the GTS, instead settling for the springboard clothesline. The Anaconda Vice (been a minute since Punk used that) is broken up and Batista hits a heck of a clothesline. Batista’s charge hits the post and he falls outside, where he is able to catch a diving Punk with a spinebuster. Cue Kane to jump Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They were starting to get somewhere but then just stopped for the DQ ending. This is either setting up a triple threat (erg) or Punk vs. Batista II, but Punk needs to win something on a big stage. It was bad enough that he got the title via Money In The Bank, but he’s lucky to crack the top five stars on Raw. This didn’t help things, though I guess Batista needed to be kept strong. Granted that makes me wonder why he was in the match in the first place, but I can picture Vince’s “oh it’s fine” face from here so we’ll move o.

Post match Kane lays out Punk, Batista, and a production worker. With Kane gone, Batista hits the Batista Bomb on Punk to make things even worse for the champ. Somehow this is a double DQ, despite Kane not touching Punk before the bell.

We recap John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield. With Vince McMahon gone, JBL has declared martial law but Cena isn’t having it. Now they’re going to fight in a parking lot.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This is taking place in the parking lot in a circle of cars and JBL shows up in his limo, fighting in most of a suit. There’s no Cena to start so JBL gets on a hood, only to have Cena pop up in another car and ram into him. Cena chokes him with a cord and then slams a car hood onto JBL’s back. Some jumper cables to the crotch set up some electrocution and JBL screams a lot.

JBL is put on another hood and Cena throws a well placed keg, only to hit windshield. With JBL trying to drive away, Cena grabs him for some rams into the horn. JBL fights back to little avail but manages to whip Cena through a car door, knocking it off the hinges. Cena gets punched off a car for two and then sent through the windshield of another for the big crash.

A crowbar shot misses for JBL and Cena slugs away but JBL sends him through a window. With nothing else working, JBL goes to grab some gasoline (with his limo rolling away) and douses one of the cars (with Cena inside). The car is lit on fire and promptly extinguished, with an annoyed looking Cena getting out. JBL goes over to a forklift but Cena is there to send him into another car.

Now Cena gets in the forklift and gores said car, only to lift it up and carry it into the arena. Commentary kicks in as Cena knocks JBL around and plants him with the ProtoBomb onto the stage. Cena loads up the FU but walks JBL over to the edge of the stage, only to take too long as JBL slips off. JBL sends him off the stage and through a windshield for the upset win.

Rating: C-. This was quite the situation and I wasn’t wild on most of it. They had a bunch of slow brawling in the back with car stuff before coming to the arena for a few minutes. JBL had to get a win of some sort but egads this means we’re going to have to hear him talk even more, which is about as painful of a thought as I can imagine. Not exactly great here, but what are you expecting from JBL?

We recap Edge vs. HHH for the latter’s Smackdown World Title. Vickie Guerrero gave Edge the title shot before their wedding but then Edge cheated on her the day before said wedding, with HHH revealing Edge’s, uh, indiscretion. Now it’s about the title, though Edge is more than a bit distracted.

HHH has no regrets over what he did.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Edge

HHH is defending and we get the Big Match Intros with a weapons check. Edge charges right at him and hammers away but gets sent outside. HHH sends him outside and grabs a neck snap across the top. A ram int the buckle has Edge on the floor again but he knocks a diving HHH out of the air. Back in and Edge hits the running shoulder in the corner before sending him outside for a whip into the steps.

A drop onto the announcers’ table keeps HHH’s ribs in trouble and Edge grabs a bodyscissors back inside. HHH fights up but gets dropkicked to the apron, where he sidesteps a spear to send Edge crashing to the floor. Back in and HHH slugs away before they go outside (again) with Edge going into the post. Edge is right back up though and grabs the Impaler on the floor, which means a rather delayed cover gets two.

HHH hits his own DDT for his own two but the Pedigree is countered into the Edge-O-Matic. The spear only hits buckle but Edge’s big boot only hits HHH’s jaw, leaving them both down again. Back up and the spear is countered into the spinebuster to give HHH a much needed breather. The Pedigree is countered again, this time with a ram into the corner. Edge takes him up top for a superplex but here is wedding planner Alicia Fox to send in the title. Cue Vickie Guerrero to take Alicia down and the catfight is on in the ring. The spear hits Vickie by mistake, allowing HHH to grab the Pedigree for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. It was good but they never came close to hitting that really high level. At the same time, it didn’t help that this was more about the Vickie/Edge stuff, with the title just kind of being there on the side. These two feel like they should have had their first big match on a more important show, but at least what they got to do here did work. It just could have been a pretty good bit better.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a perfectly fine show that should have been better than it was. There were some big matches on the card and those matches worked, but the lower card stuff is completely forgettable, even with three new champions being crowned. It’s a show where things happened, but it’s not a show that felt important. Instead, it came off like a “the big one is next time”, which doesn’t make for the most enjoyable event.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – July 18, 2008: Stiff Trapezoids

Smackdown
Date: July 18, 2008
Location: Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Mick Foley

It’s the go home show for the Great American Bash and we are getting ready for HHH vs. Edge, which feels something like a major match. On paper it certainly is, but in this case the main story is the continuing saga of Edge and Vickie Guerrero. Naturally things are going well again and now we are probably on the way back towards the wedding. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Edge and Vickie Guerrero’s rocky relationship.

And now, the wedding, with Chavo Guerrero as best man and everything seems to go off without a hitch. The reception is tonight and that’s a bit of a twist on the usual formula.

The wedding party is introduced for the reception, with the rest of La Familia and Alicia Fox waiting on the stage. Chavo welcomes Edge to the family and thinks he’ll be perfect with some of that wild side. Edge isn’t THAT wild any more though, as he never even turns his phone off anymore so he won’t miss anything from Vickie. It’s Chavo’s honor to be the best man and he’ll be there when Edge wins the World Title on Sunday. Chavo even has a mock WWE Magazine with Edge as champion on the cover. Edge says Vickie loves her action so let’s get things started.

Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

This is a preview of the four way Tag Team Title match at the Bash, also involving Jesse and Festus and Miz/John Morrison. Before the match, Edge says he’s tired of seeing Finlay and Hornswoggle cheating every week, but Hawkins and Ryder are too smart for the water guns and such. So is Edge, who will be the guest referee.

Hawkins and Ryder (and Edge) are in wedding clothes and Edge throws the shillelagh out before the bell. Finlay takes Hawkins into the corner to start but Edge breaks it up, which JR doesn’t see as the best move. Edge’s distraction lets Hawkins hammer away and it’s off to Ryder for a neckbreaker. Finlay fights up and brings in Hornswoggle to clean house but Edge hits a spear on Finlay to give Ryder the fast pin.

Post match Edge heads back to the stage for the first dance with Vickie. Cue Big Show to cut in so Edge gives him a handicap match right now.

Big Show vs. Great Khali/MVP/Shelton Benjamin/Vladimir Kozlov

So how did Edge know those four would be ready to go if this was an impromptu match? Show shoves Benjamin down without much effort to start so MVP comes in. That involves nothing physical whatsoever before it’s off to Kozlov. Show shoves him into the corner without much trouble so Khali tags himself in. A quick clothesline drops Khali and everyone else comes in for the DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on, including the chokebomb from Khali.

Post break Vickie is in the ring (you might be noticing a theme here) to throw the bouquet, with a bunch of women at ringside. Michelle McCool and Natalya get in a fight, with Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder getting rid of McCool. Cherry catches the bouquet, which earns her a match against….Vickie. But only after her first match.

Cherry vs. Natalya

They’re both in dresses and Natalya wins in less than 45 seconds.

Vickie Guerrero vs. Cherry

Vickie pins her in five seconds.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. The Brian Kendrick

This is the debut of the new Kendrick, complete with a monster named Ezekiel. Kendrick wants nothing to do with this handshake stuff so Yang takes him down with a headlock takeover. Back up and Yang hits a running clothesline to the floor but an Ezekiel distraction lets Kendrick get in a cheap shot. Kendrick starts in on the arm back inside but charges into an elbow in the corner. A missile dropkick gives Yang two so he goes up for the moonsault, only to have Ezekiel offer a distraction. Kendrick slams him down and hits Sliced Bread #2 for the win.

Rating: C+. This was a good enough debut for the new Kendrick, with Ezekiel playing into the finish like a monster enforcer should. Kendrick’s new attitude worked well and there is some potential for him to do something with this. Yang continues to be a solid hand in the ring and is the right choice to put in a spot like this one.

Edge gets a box of Slim Jim’s, saying he’ll show his spicy side later tonight.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Umaga

Kennedy strikes away to start but Umaga gets in a hard shoulder. An even harder clothesline has Kennedy in more trouble and he runs into an elbow in the corner. This lets Umaga get in his variety of stomping/stepping on Kennedy’s head before grabbing the nerve hold. Kennedy’s comeback is cut off by a knee to the ribs and things slow right back down. We hit the nerve hold again before Umaga drops him one more time as we take a break.

Back with Umaga putting on ANOTHER nerve hold as this match will not get going. Kennedy tries to fight up but his slam attempt falls down and we are off to the fourth nerve hold. With Kennedy daring to do something, Umaga uppercuts him right back down as the fans are dying with every boring second of this mess. Kennedy fights back again and actually gets somewhere with right hands and an enziguri for two. The Mic Check is blocked though and the Samoan Spike finishes for Umaga.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t so much a bad match as much as it was terribly dull. The match was less than fifteen minutes long and it included four different nerve holds. The match just wasn’t interesting and it felt like Umaga was doing less than phoning it in. Kennedy can’t do much when his comeback is cut off time after time so the beatdown can keep going. Really dull stuff here.

Edge is in a new Slim Jim commercial.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Jesse and Festus

Non-title. Festus chases Miz and Morrison outside to start as the champs already need a breather. Morrison gets suplexed to start and Festus slams Jesse onto him for two. Back up and Morrison knocks Jesse into the corner as JR compares Morrison to Rick Rude. Jesse gets out of said corner and brings Festus back in to clean house. A Rocket Launcher top rope forearm hits Miz with Morrison having to make a save. Everything breaks down and Miz grabs the Reality Check to pin Jesse.

Rating: C. They kept this one really short and it didn’t do much to get me excited for the four way Tag Team Title match at the Bash. The champs have already beaten one of the teams, so why would I want to see Jesse and Festus getting a title shot? I get not having the champs loses here as they just lost on ECW, but it’s not the best way to go for Sunday.

Raw Rebound.

Great American Bash rundown.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title and they come to the ring at the same time, though only after hitting Chavo Guerrero with a cake. Respect is shown to start and Jeff goes after the arm. That’s reversed into an arm crank from Matt, who knocks Jeff down. Neither can hit a Twist of Fate so Jeff runs up the corner for the Whisper In The Wind to take over. The slingshot dropkick (that always looks good) gets two but he has to break out of the Side Effect. Jeff knocks him down again, only to miss the Swanton. Matt’s moonsault gets two but La Familia runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was a weird one as they didn’t want to fight each other and the fans weren’t sure what to do here. The smart move here is that they kept this short, as there was only so much you can get out of a match like this one. The action was good but the vibe was off, which was kind of the point of the whole thing anyway.

Post match the beatdown is on and Edge hits a spear to each Hardy.

Post break La Familia is in the ring so Edge can talk about how much he loves Vickie. He even has a special video package of their relationship, including their time in a park on a seesaw and in, uh, more intimate areas. With that out of the way, here is HHH to interrupt, complete with a big gift box. First though, let’s get this out of the way: no he isn’t secretly married to Vickie.

While he didn’t have the time to get a big special video together, he does have a video of his own. We see a video dated yesterday, showing Alicia Fox coming to see Edge with Vickie nowhere to be seen. Edge is worried about some wedding details so they go over some planning, including food options (uh, that should probably be decided earlier than the day before the wedding). HHH pauses the video and thinks Edge is a bit anxious, so let’s skip to the good part.

Back to the video, with Edge talking about how a white rose symbolizes his love for Vickie. He’s so attracted to scents, including whatever perfume Fox is wearing. She’s not wearing any perfume (cut to a VERY displeased Vickie in the arena) and Edge touches her arm, saying his trapezoid (Fox: “Your what?”) is locking up on him. A slightly nervous looking Fox rubs his neck (Edge: “I think it’s getting a little stiffer.”) but HHH pauses things again.

Edge explains that his neck was flaring up, with HHH saying lots of guys have women massage their necks when their wives aren’t there. An angry Edge sends the troops after HHH, who pulls out gift #2: a sledgehammer. HHH: “It’s one size fits all and there’s plenty for everyone!”

We go back to the video, which now sees Edge rubbing Fox’s back. Edge suggests taking the bra off (Fox isn’t sure) and mentions he went lingerie shopping yesterday, but there was nothing in Vickie’s size. He was told to go to the store for “bigger people” and talks about how big Vickie’s underwear really is. HHH stops the tape again and says this is awkward. He says he didn’t watch this yet, but it kills gift #3: some rather large underwear. HHH: “I can always park my car under it.”

We go back to the video where Edge takes off Fox’s glasses and…she’s going to leave. Edge stops her and they kiss, with Fox certainly approving. Back in the arena, Vickie glares at Edge, Fox looks like she’s about to cry, and Bam Neely is talking to Chavo Guerrero about something. Vickie screams a lot as Edge leaves to end the show. I’m going to assume they ran out of things to air here, as this went nearly 20 minutes and they easily could have accomplished the same thing in half the time.

Overall Rating: C-. It would be an understatement to call this a one note show as the Edge/Vickie stuff went from start to finish, with the villains sitting on the stage almost throughout the night. The wrestling was nothing special with that Umaga vs. Kennedy match being especially dull. Other than the Tag Team Title match, there is nothing important but Edge vs. HHH at the pay per view on the Smackdown side. Pretty weak show this time, though the reaction to Edge kissing Fox (once they got there) was good.

 

 

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