Summerslam Count-Up – 2010: What Happens When The One Match On A Show Sucks

Summerslam 2010
Date: August 15, 2010
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,178
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Tonight’s show focuses on one idea: the Nexus Invasion. Back in February of 2010 ECW was replaced by a new competition show called NXT. Eight rookies tried to become the next WWE Superstar with Wade Barrett winning the competition. One night in June, these eight men invaded Raw and took over the arena to end the show. Over the next three months, these men, now called Nexus, terrorized the company and John Cena in particular. Tonight it’s Team WWE vs. Nexus in a Survivor Series elimination tag match. We also have Kane vs. Mysterio and Orton vs. Sheamus in the title matches. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how change can affect so many things, such as Nexus destroying everything in sight.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph is defending and has Vickie with him. These two have fought a ridiculous number of times, even trumping Edge vs. Cena. Ziggler took the title nine days ago with Vickie’s assistance. Vickie’s EXCUSE ME is finally cut off by Kofi’s music. Kingston quickly takes him down and stomps away before clotheslining Dolph to the outside. A suicide dive totally misses though and Ziggler gets a breather.

Back in and the champion pounds away before getting two off a neckbreaker. We hit an early chinlock but Kofi is out of it in a few seconds. Instead Dolph sends him face first into the buckle for two before hitting a Hennig neck snap for two. Off to a reverse chinlock for a few moments until the jumping elbow drop gets two for Dolph.

We hit chinlock #4 but Kofi gets bored and goes off on the champion before hitting the Boom Drop. The middle rope cross body is rolled through, getting a two for Dolph as things speed up. A Fameasser puts Kofi down for two more but he pops up and clotheslines Dolph back down. The champion avoids Trouble in Paradise and hooks his sleeper but the Nexus runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. These two are capable of having far better matches if they don’t have to kill time until the run-in ending. Far too much of the match was spent in the chinlockery and it’s a rare bad opening match for Summerslam. Kofi continues his career path as Ziggler is about to start his climb to almost the top of the company.

Ziggler bails and Nexus destroys Kingston. Barrett talks about how Team WWE only has six men but the seventh doesn’t matter because Nexus is going to destroy them. This felt like the opening of Raw.

Jericho begs Mr. MITB and the US Champion the Miz to be on Team WWE. Edge is on the Miz’s other side eating a Slim Jim because Edge is awesome. Jericho says Miz doing this in LA could be bigger than Titanic or Avatar Miz doesn’t seem intersted.

Divas Title: Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Alicia is champion and the flavor of the month of the division. Melina has on a headdress that makes her look like a peacock. She looks….stupid. Melina takes forever taking off her furry boots before we’re finally ready to go. After they stare at each other for a good while Melina shoves her into the corner and then they stare at each other some more. The champion takes it to the mat with a headlock before Melina comes up with forearms. Off to a kind of Indian Deathlock with a curb stomp to Fox followed by a pair of knees to Fox’s ribs.

Some more forearms have Fox in trouble but Melina lands on her bad knee which cost her eight months off. The knee is good enough for Melina to superkick Fox, only to be sent shoulder first into the post. Back in and Fox goes after the arm because she’s not that bright. Melina realizes how stupid this is and makes her comeback with a kick to the ribs. A LOUD scream sets up a kick to the back and kind of a Diamond Cutter faceplant for the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. Both girls looked great but my dear merciful goodness Fox was embarrassing out there. When Jerry Lawler is making fun of you for having a lack of psychology, it’s a bad sign for your match. The Divas division hit a black hole after Trish and Lita left and this was a great example of how bad it was getting.

Post match Josh Matthews goes in to talk to Melina but here’s Laycool to interrupt. They’re the co-women’s champions here after literally tearing the belt in two. They try to take a picture with Melina but she kicks them both in the ribs. Layla trips Melina up though, allowing Michelle to clearly not make contact on a big boot. Fox tries to join in but gets beaten down as well. The titles would be unified next month.

Trace Adkins, Marlon Wayans and Michael Clarke Duncan are here.

We recap Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society. Mysterio had won a match against Punk, forcing him to shave his head. Punk wore a mask to hide it but Big Show ripped it off to humiliate him. Punk’s Society (Luke Gallows, Joey Mercury and Serena) got together and broke Big Show’s hand in a segment much funnier than it should have been due to Big Show’s face while being choked out.

Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society

Three on one handicap match. Punk has already grown his hair to a bit shorter than it is in 2013. We continue the awesome that is CM Punk as he wears a shirt saying “I Broke Big Show’s Hand”, which is a reference to Greg Valentine’s “I Broke Wahoo’s Leg” shirt from about thirty years ago. Show takes off his cast to reveal that the hand is fully healed and to freak Punk out a bit.

Mercury charges right into a chop and Gallows gets the same. The Society has to tag in and out here so Punk calls a conference on the apron. Gallows and Mercury jump Big Show and apparently tagging isn’t required here. Show easily throws away the lackeys and palms Mercury by the head, throwing him over the top and onto Gallows. Punk is the only one left now and a few shots to the back easily put him down. Show misses a chop and hits the steps, giving the Society an opening to go after the hand.

The Society pounds away with really basic stuff as we’re just waiting on the comeback. Punk charges into a back elbow and Show cleans house for a bit until Punk hits a high kick to slow him down. Some running knees in the corner stagger the giant before a double DDT from Punk and Mercury gets two. Punk goes nuts on the hand but Show picks him up on his shoulders. After dropping Punk over the top, the lackeys are destroyed again and Show chokeslams Mercury onto Gallows for a double pin.

Rating: D. Another dull match here as Big Show never once felt like he was in any kind of danger at all. That was the problem with this whole feud: Show treated Punk like an annoyance rather than an opponent. This would lead up to the destruction of Punk in a one on one match next month because Big Show needed that push right?

Kane is standing by Undertaker’s casket and talks about getting revenge on Rey Mysterio for attacking Undertaker. Raw World Champion Sheamus comes in and proposes an alliance but Kane wants no part of it. Kane says Sheamus has guts and they’ll be on the floor if he interrupts Kane again. Sheamus is still a heel here and is actually pretty awesome.

Speaking of awesome, here’s Miz to answer Jericho and Edge’s offer from earlier. Miz doesn’t care if the fans want him on the team or not because he’s the missing link in the WWE chain. Earlier today Cena admitted he was wrong about Miz and brags about Bret Hart begging him to be on the team on Raw.

Jericho gave Miz a Fozzy CD but Miz threw it away. Miz’s former partner John Morrison admitted Miz was the HBK of the team, Edge gave him Slim Jims and Truth wrote him a rap. Miz is the future and brags about how much bigger he is than everything else. He actually agrees to be on the team tonight but the fans aren’t allowed to do his catchphrase with him. Cole loses his mind over Miz’s announcement.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus. There isn’t much to say here as Orton won a three way over Edge and Jericho on Raw to earn the shot. Sheamus won the title at Fatal Fourway with the unintentional assistance of Nexus. Sheamus has been hurting a lot of people lately and he claims Orton is the next victim.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging if that somehow wasn’t clear. This is during Orton’s bare arms phase which was always a strange look. Cole lets us know that if anyone interferes on Sheamus’ behalf, they’re suspended. If Orton loses, he gets no rematch. Sheamus shoves him into the corner and shouts in his face. It works so well that he does it again, earning him right hands to the face. Orton stomps Sheamus down into the corner and hits a hard clothesline to put him down again.

Orton drops him with another clothesline and a third to send the champion to the floor. The fourth straight clothesline sends Sheamus into the crowd but Orton has to go back inside before the ten count. Back in and Orton hits the circle stomp for two and a catapult into the bottom rope sends Sheamus outside again. The champion FINALLY gets a breather by sending Orton shoulder first into the steps. They’re doing the methodical build here which implies they have a lot of time.

Sheamus takes over with the power brawling via a knee to the ribs and a reverse chinlock. Back up and Orton counters a suplex but the Elevated DDT is countered into a backdrop to the floor. Sheamus rams Orton’s back into the barricade and the look on Orton’s face is great. Back in and a hard ax handle to the head gets two. This is surprisingly good stuff so far which leaves me with little to talk about.

Sheamus grabs something resembling a cross face chicken wing as is the case with most guys who come out of FCW. That’s one of the problems with one training area: you get a lot of the same spots from guys. Orton comes back with kicks to the ribs but another ax handle to the face takes him down. Back to the chicken wing and Sheamus channels his inner Jericho, telling the referee to ask him. Back up and Orton suplexes Sheamus down but can’t follow up.

They slug it out with Orton taking over. The fans are WAY into Randy here. A bad powerslam puts Sheamus down which Cole calls “A malignant growth of momentum.” Lay off the JR metaphors dude. A superplex gets two for Randy but he walks into the Irish Curse (note that at this point, the High Cross (Razor’s Edge) was called the Irish Curse. I’m using the more well known move: the Rock Bottom backbreaker) for two.

The Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus falls to the floor, only to be caught in the Elevated DDT as he comes back inside. The RKO is shoved off for two but Orton escapes the Irish Curse. Brogue Kick is only good for two which is a very rare sight to see. What isn’t a rare sight tonight is a bad finish, much like here as Sheamus gets himself disqualified for a chair shot.

Rating: B-. Bad finish to a good match here. Sheamus is getting better and better which makes you wonder why they book him so badly in present times. The guy is clearly talented but he hasn’t had to really work hard to beat a guy in months. This was a good match though and they clearly have chemistry together.

Post match Orton snaps and kicks Sheamus low before RKOing him onto the announce table. The fans want Miz but get a trailer for John Cena’s new movie instead.

We recap Kane vs. Mysterio. Kane won MITB and cashed in the same night to win the Smackdown Title over Rey. This was at the same time that someone had attacked Undertaker and left him in a “vegetative state” because we can’t say coma in WWE. Kane swore to find who did it but Mysterio accused Kane of doing it himself. Tonight is the rematch and somehow a way for Kane to prove his innocence.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Rey Mysterio

Kane brings out a casket and I think you know where this is going. Kane hits a quick slam to start but Rey avoids an elbow drop. Rey tries to fire off some offense but Kane easily throws him around. The 619 is easily countered and Rey is sent to the floor. He slides back in and hits a quick baseball slide to get an advantage. Back in and Kane punches him off the top rope before ramming Rey back first into the post over and over.

Kane drops him ribs first over the top rope and slaps on a bearhug to keep things slow. Rey forearms out and dropkicks Kane in the chest, only to have Kane clothesline him down on a 619 attempt. Mysterio is sent chest first to the floor and kicked off a springboard to the floor. Kane follows him out but gets caught in a drop toehold into the barricade. Back in and a springboard headbutt to the chest gets two on Kane but he backbreakers Rey down again.

There’s a nice story going here of Rey speeding things up but Kane easily stopping him with power stuff. Power vs. speed is going to work almost every time and it helps that both guys are very talented. Kane bends Rey’s back over his knee before getting two off a side slam. Mysterio manages to break up the top rope clothesline but a rana attempt is easily blocked.

Now the clothesline misses and Mysterio counters another backbreaker into a tilt-a-whirl reverse DDT (here’s a good example of why Matt Striker is annoying. He calls it a Slop Drop, which is another name for a reverse DDT, but come on: does ANYONE think of the Godwinns when they see that move? Is there some Godwinn fan base out there that he’s trying to appeal to? It comes off like him trying to sound smart without adding anything at all). The seated senton puts Kane down and a spinning DDT gets two more.

A hard kick to the face gets the same but Mysterio dives into an uppercut. Kane opens up the casket to show that it’s empty but Rey sends Kane into the ropes. The 619 is caught and Rey is thrown into the casket but he kicks out of danger. Now the 619 connects but Kane gets the feet up on the springboard splash. Rey stops in mid jump though and gets two off a rollup, only to be chokeslammed to death for the pin.

Rating: C. This was about as good as this match could be. At the end of the day, it’s almost impossible to buy Mysterio as a physical threat to a guy the size of Kane. Yeah something like the 619 could stun him but it’s hard to believe anything but that or a rollup is going to get more than a one count. That’s not to say either guy is bad, but it’s the problem with a guy Mysterio’s size.

Post match Kane wants to make Rey pay for what he did to Undertaker. He promises to make Mysterio hurt for eternity and lays him out with two chokeslams and a tombstone. Kane goes to the casket and yep Undertaker is inside. HOW DID HE DO THAT I ASK YOU!!! Taker asks the half dead Rey what happened but Rey says no. The brothers go at it and Kane beats Taker down, I guess turning heel again and shocking no one. The idea is that Taker is still banged up and doesn’t have his full powers back yet.

Video on Axxess.

We recap Nexus vs. Team WWE. I think I’ve covered this well enough but it’s the first season of NXT coming to the main roster to try to take over the company. Over the last few months they’ve attacked various people and tonight it’s about revenge. Great Khali was originally on the team but was taken out by Nexus, leaving Team WWE with just six guys. Team WWE (also called Cena’s Army) is having a lot of problems with Jericho and Edge quitting over Cena’s leadership, only to come back later.

Nexus vs. Team WWE

Nexus: Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Michael Tarver, David Otunga, Justin Gabriel, Skip Sheffield

Team WWE: John Cena, Bret Hart, Chris Jericho, Edge, R-Truth, John Morrison, ???

You should know most of the Nexus, though Sheffield later changed his name to Ryback. As for Team WWE, Miz isn’t the last man. He comes out but Cena stops him, because it needed to be someone who made his decision earlier. Instead it’s……DANIEL BRYAN! This requires a backstory. The night Nexus debuted, Bryan was a member of the team. However he got fired for choking ring announcer Justin Roberts with a necktie as it wasn’t PG. Tonight is Bryan’s return and he wasn’t a surprise at all. See, WWE.com actually spoiled the return by mistake, ruining it for anyone who saw the website before the match.

It’s a huge brawl to start and Cole RIPS into Bryan for the sake of Miz. Bryan starts with Young and a quick LeBell (YES) Lock makes it 7-6 in less than 45 seconds. Justin Gabriel is in next and gets to fight Chris Jericho for his troubles. Some kicks to the ribs allow for the tag to Truth as things speed up. A suplex into a Stunner is good for two but Gabriel comes back with a spin kick to the face. Off to Tarver who was about as worthless as you could ask for a man to be.

Tarver charges into a boot in the corner and it’s off to Morrison to clean house with some dropkicks. The Fying Chuck (Disaster Kick) sets up Starship Pain (split legged twisting moonsault) for the second elimination. The remaining five members of Nexus hit the floor for a meeting before everything falls apart. Sheffield gets the nod and easily throws Morrison around. A big powerslam puts Morrison down and some snap suplexes work on his back even more. Morrison tries a comeback but Gabriel kicks him in the back of the head, allowing Sheffield to hit a big clothesline for the elimination.

Truth comes in and another clothesline ties the match up maybe twenty seconds later. Jericho comes in but gets sent into the buckle, allowing for the tag off to Barrett. Otunga is in a few seconds later, before he got good in the ring. Now let that one sink in for a minute. Anyway back to Barrett to crank on his NXT mentor’s arms but Jericho gets a boot up in the corner. A clothesline puts both guys down and it’s a double tag to Slater and Hart.

Old Man Bret pounds away on Heath for a few moments and doesn’t look half bad doing it. It doesn’t have the same snap that it used to but Bret’s offense still looks good. He puts on the Sharpshooter but Wade slides in a chair. Bret lets go of the hold and cracks Sheffield over the back in self defense, drawing a DQ. There really wasn’t another way to get rid of him due to an inability to take bumps. Sheffield staggers to his feet and walks into a Codebreaker from Jericho followed by a spear from Edge to tie us up.

To recap it’s Cena, Jericho, Edge and Bryan vs. Gabriel, Barrett, Otunga, Slater. On paper, this should be pure domination. Gabriel is in to face Edge but after scoring some kicks to the chest, Justin walks into an Edge-O-Matic for two. A big spin kick puts Edge down and it’s off to Slater, whose shorter hair makes him look like an even bigger tool than he does today. Slater pulls Edge into the corner for the tag off to Barrett who hooks the chinlock. Edge quickly fights up and scores with a spinwheel kick but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker.

Back to Otunga who is almost booed out of the building. A standing spinebuster is easily countered into Edge’s Impaler and there’s the tag off to Jericho. Has Cena even been in yet? The running bulldog sets up the Lionsault and the Walls are good for the submission from Otunga. Jericho immediately knocks Slater off the apron and into the announce table to take him down. Back in and the top rope back elbow has Heath reeling but Jericho almost runs into Cena, allowing Slater to hit his running sleeper drop to pin Chris.

Edge comes in to yell at Cena but Slater rams him into John for a rollup pin thirty seconds later. Edge lays out Cena and Jericho adds a few kicks to the ribs of his own. So we have Cena/Bryan vs. Slater/Gabriel/Barrett with Cena getting caught in the Nexus corner. Barrett comes in to pepper Cena with rights and lefts before it’s off to Justin to crank on the arm. Cena tries to fight back but walks into a side slam from Barrett for no cover. John comes back with a quick fisherman’s suplex but Slater breaks up the hot tag attempt.

Cena hits a hard clothesline to put Slater down and dives for the hot tag to Bryan. Daniel comes in with a quick German suplex on Slater as Striker calls for Cattle Mutilation, which means absolutely nothing to most WWE fans. Bryan backflips over Slater in the corner and hits the running clothesline before sending him to the floor for the FLYING HAIRLESS ANIMAL! Back in and Bryan hits the missile dropkick and counters a rollup into the LeBell Lock to get us down to two on two.

Bryan looks at Nexus but here’s Miz to blast him in the back with the MITB case, giving Barrett an easy pin. Gabriel hits a hard right hand in the corner to put Cena down but Cena comes back with his finishing sequence to take Gabriel down. He loads up the AA but Barrett makes a blind tag and breaks it up with a shot to the head.

Nexus stomps away on Cena in the corner and a big boot from Wade sends him to the floor. Gabriel and Barrett peel back the mats at ringside and a DDT on the concrete knocks Cena out cold. Back in and Gabriel misses the 450, allowing Cena to score a quick pin. Barrett comes in and gets caught in the STF out of nowhere for the final elimination 20 seconds later.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining and never dragged, but the ending doesn’t hold up when you take it out of the moment. Now one thing that does need to be kept in mind is Cena wasn’t in the match until over twenty minutes after the start so he was hardly banged up until the very end. That DDT on the concrete is a bit too much to take though, as Cena goes from out cold to fine in less than a minute. I can’t quite buy that.

This also brings up to the problem with Nexus: they never really won anything. At the end of the day, Barrett was the only one to have any success for a long time and to this day he’s one of two of the seven here to do much of anything. You have Ryback doing pretty well, but the rest are all midcard to lower card guys who haven’t accomplished much. As of August 2013, Tarver is gone, Otunga and Young are lucky to have jobs, Slater is a comedy jobber and Gabriel is a Superstars mainstay. That’s what killed Nexus: at the end of the day, they were a bunch of jobbers who swarmed big names and nothing more.

Overall Rating: D. This is a pretty terrible show with only two matches being decent at all. The main event is pretty good but it’s absolutely nothing worth going out of your way to see. Nexus fizzled out so badly that their existence is really just a big footnote anymore. Bryan wound up being the big star out of all of them and he was literally on the team for one night only. Nexus would go on to do nothing but annoy fans over the next few months, even with new members and Punk as a leader. The show isn’t worth seeing and thankfully things would pick up next year.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Melina vs. Alicia Fox

Original: D

Redo: D-

Straight Edge Society vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Original: D+

Redo: B-

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C

Team WWE vs. Nexus

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D

My goodness what was I thinking?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/13/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2010-a-one-match-show-almost-literally/

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On This Day: July 11, 2010 – Victory Road 2010: RVD Is A Boring Champion

Victory Road 2010
Date: July 11, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Well I’m not wild on the card but they’ve done a great job of building up to this if nothing else. The main event just does nothing at all for me, but then again neither does the rest of the card. This isn’t going to be much, but the build has been good so maybe there’s some hope. I’ll be watching it out of order but there’s nothing I can do about that. Let’s get to it.

Intro video is just about the road to victory. Seriously is that all they can do for this show?

X Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Douglas Williams

This is Ultimate X/Submission which is about as odd of a combination as you could ask for. Williams almost immediately takes him to the mat as he’s afraid of heights. Well at least they’re giving Kendrick every possible out they can. Now let’s see how they manage to mess it up. Kendrick only goes for the Cobra Clutch and neither guy tries to climb yet.

In essence this is just a submission match with the Ultimate X aspect on the side. Naturally they couldn’t just do a submission match because they can advertise Ultimate X to boost buyrates. Who cares that it’s hardly used? They both go up the trellis thing and then Kendrick falls off. Yep he’s out cold. Williams gets some gloves to help him climb as he kills time.

He comes back up though and follows Williams across the ropes. Like an idiot he goes for the Cobra Clutch while hanging on to the ropes and falls backwards, smashing his head into the mat. He was legitimately injured or out cold. Williams throws a hold on him and the referee stops it. Something tells me that wasn’t the planned ending. They have to bring out smelling salts to wake him up.

Rating: D+. This was just pointless overkill again. There was one or at most two big spots as opposed to just doing the freaking submission match that they wanted to. The fear of heights thing was just forgotten, making the whole thing just completely pointless. This was overkill that didn’t work, but then again that’s TNA for you.

Christy is with Ray who says that just like Christy’s issue of Playboy, Jesse Neal is a failure. He gets in her face and makes her cry. We see the same recap video we saw on Impact which gives us nothing about why Bubba is mad but whatever.

Brother Ray vs. Brother DVon vs. Jesse Neal

Let’s get this over with. Ray comes out first and hides behind the set. He jumps Neal and there’s no D-Von. We cut to the back where D-Von is locked in his dressing room, presumably by Bubba. Clearly the cameraman has no arms because he doesn’t let him out which would involve moving a board. Oh look: more kind of false advertising as it’s the same match from last month.

Again we hear about how much Neal’s life has sucked. We get it already guys, let it go. No one cares about Neal and that’s all there is to it. This is nothing but basic stuff as we’re all just waiting for D-Von to come running out for the big save or beatdown or whatever. Ray of course uses the big boot because that’s all anyone uses for a big strike anymore. The ECW guys are here.

They distract Bubba a bit and Neal gets a spear for two. Shannon Moore comes down for a save which lets Ray hit Neal with a chair. D-Von finally comes out and there’s a staredown. They both look at Jesse and then slug it out. Neal accidentally spears D-Von and a Bubba Bomb ends it. D-Von was in the ring for maybe a minute total.

Rating: F. This was false advertising if nothing else. This was a one on one match with two run-ins. What was the point to this? Just do 3D vs. Ink Inc like you want to do. No one cares about this feud and no one wants to see Bubba vs. D-Von, so of course that’s what we’re going to get.

We recap Love vs. Rayne which shows why the division completely sucks anymore. The BP and Love are the only ones in the division worth anything anymore and that’s not saying much.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love

If Rayne wins then Love retires and she can lose the belt by DQ. We start with a big slugout. Rayne is in skin colored clothes. And remember people: these chicks are WAY better than the Divas and don’t you forget it. I really can’t stand this division anymore as it’s somehow more of a joke than WWE.

Rayne wraps her legs around Love’s head and slams it face first into the mat. Her finisher doesn’t work and Love makes her comeback. Rayne brings in a chair and gets it kicked into her face. Can we get on with this? And here’s a chick on a motorcycle. She jumps Love and the referee determines that since she’s either Velvet or Lacey (she’s in a helmet) Rayne is disqualified and Love is champion. Rayne leaves with the chick that just cost her the belt of course. Allegedly it’s Tara, because she retired recently and therefore has to come back immediate.

Rating: D-. This was somehow less interesting than the previous match. This is the third straight title change that hasn’t involved the champion being pinned. Is there a point to this title anymore? Same with the girl tag titles. This is even more of a joke than I could have imagined. Whatever man.

We go back to Anderson who makes pot jokes and says nothing of note other than the signature line.

AJ Styles/Kazarian vs. ???/???

AJ and Kaz can’t get along so of course they’re going to win. The surprises are Terry and Joe. Sure, why not have a guy that is a champion be brought in as a surprise? We can’t have him fight for the title on PPV when we have Ray vs. Neal II!!! AJ vs. Terry start us off and AJ tags out in seconds. The surprise team completely dominates for the early few minutes as you would expect.

AJ and Kaz are getting along quite well. Oh and remember: this isn’t about the wrestlers. This is about impressing Flair. AJ isn’t here for titles. He’s here to make sure Flair is happy. TNA makes my head hurt at times. Instead of going with AJ as the top guy, he’s running around imitating Flair and trying to make him happy. It’s more of TNA wasting what they have for angles that they think people actually want to see.

Instead of talking about the match, we talk about the ranking system. This is ALL Terry/Joe. Ah wait we can talk about Flair a bit now. Wolfe of all people comes down for interference (he jobbed in a dark match of course) and Kaz takes over. AJ hits the springboard 450 on Terry for the pin. They didn’t argue ONCE. Joe beats up Wolfe post match.

Rating: D+. Oh how I hate TNA at times. This could have been a decent match but instead it made no sense from the storyline perspective. The heels have been about to explode for weeks and now they’re all fine and best friends? Also, this is once again about Flair. That’s who the majority of the commentary is about and all that jazz. Just a waste of talent and an angle.

Abyss likes his nail board.

Recap of Morgan vs. Hernandez. Morgan got all cocky and injured Hernandez. Hernandez wants revenge. I love simple angles.

Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez

This is a cage match with escape only rules. I like the look of the cage. Hernandez is freaky in all definitions of the word. Has steel ever been forgiving? In a match based around revenge, Morgan is dominating. I really can’t stand TNA at times. The crowd has been oddly dead for the majority of the match. Hernandez gets on the top and Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint.

This is ALL Morgan. He gets a foot out the door and then just comes back in. To be fair he’s a great heel, but this goes completely against the whole Morgan runs from Supermex and Hernandez wanting revenge that has been built up for months. Hernandez is busted open. We FINALLY get the comeback and his eyes look like he’s coked out of his mind. Hernandez can’t do the Border Toss so he tries it and of course botches it again. At least it came off looking like a power bomb.

He goes up top, as in top of the cage, and misses a splash on Morgan. Blueprint has handcuffs and Hernandez is caught. What is up with Russo’s obsession with handcuffs? Ok that’s not fair as they’ve been used for years. He just breaks them off as Morgan is climbing down and rams his head through the door to get out. So after all that, Hernandez just escapes with no real revenge. Sure why not?

Rating: D+. The psychology didn’t exist, Hernandez doesn’t gain anything, the ending is illogical, Hernandez looks weak and nothing is really solved. This was completely backwards and didn’t go anywhere at all. Not a horrible match, but just something that should have been far different and far better.

Flair talks about how great he is.

Tenay and Taz say exactly what Flair just said.

We get a video saying what Tenay and Taz just said.

Ric Flair vs. Jay Lethal

Come see a senior citizen get pounded! Lethal wears red and yellow as a tribute to Hogan. Seriously, can ANYTHING not be about Hogan or Flair in some way? Taz says Flair is Mr. Credibility. Taz now is fail. Sting can wear a shirt but Flair can’t? Once again the crowd is relatively dead. Flair only does simple stuff like thumbs to the eyes. Could it have anything to do with being 61?

Lethal hits a top rope superplex. Flair is just fine and goes after the knee. The fans chant for Flair, thereby showing how horrible they are at this. Flair of course switches knees halfway through, thereby making him look like an idiot. Figure Four of course doesn’t work and we go back and forth for a bit which borders on entertaining. And there’s Flair’s trunks going down to ruin it.

Ric gets a sleeper. I guess due to his age he needs a nap during matches now. Now Lethal goes for the knees. He gets the weakest chop block ever and puts on the Figure Four. Yep, Flair taps. Jay Lethal has just put a 61 year old man in a leg submission and made him give up. He cries of course because we have to make Flair look good in the end. I hate this company. I truly don’t.

Rating: D+. People want to say this is a huge deal for Lethal. I’m sorry, but no it isn’t. Lethal is what, 24? He beat a guy 37 years older than he is and it’s supposed to be impressive? If this was say 10 years ago it would mean something, but this is just worthless. Flair is a name, but that’s it. What does this prove? Lethal can beat up a guy who could have great grandchildren? Why am I supposed to be impressed? Flair hasn’t meant anything in years so this win is relatively worthless.

Hardy says he’ll win.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Ok so the Guns more or less have to win here. I like the Guns’ music. Storm and Shelley start us off. They’re doing a slow build to start us off as Taz says the Guns are the best team from their city, including the Tigers. Uh, deep? We get a Mel Torme reference of all things as we’re talking about tap dancing. Beer Money takes over and after a double vertical suplex they do their thing.

Shelley is getting beaten on. This is a good match so far so it’s hard to make jokes. Well other than Taz and Tenay who are always jokes. Ah there’s Sabin. I like him better than Shelley I think. We crank it up a bit and Sabin hits a running punt on Storm while he’s on the apron and Storm is on the floor. The crowd is getting back into it a bit too. Eye of the Storm gets two on Sabin.

I’m sorry for the excessive play by play here but that’s the main thing going on here. That made less than no sense but just go with it. We’ve lost any resemblance of a tag match here as it’s just all insanity. Maybe Heyman is booking the company. Everything just goes insane and this is awesome for once. The Guns dominate as Storm has a beer bottle. The referee gets beer spit in his face as the Guns hit a combination splash/neckbreaker on Roode for two.

There’s another referee here now and I have a bad feeling about this. It’s ALL Guns here as we’re going fast paced here. They hit their kick combination and cover Roode as Storm rolls Sabin up. The referees count a double pin and it’s Dusty Finish time. Earl, not the original referee, says restart it. The Guns win in like a minute with the same thing they did earlier, making the restart TOTALLY POINTLESS. Very good match though so I can’t complain much.

Rating: A-. This was a VERY good match. The main thing holding it back is the restart which was the walking definition of overbooking. What in the world is that supposed to help? Whatever it was I certainly don’t get it. The Guns are the champions, albeit nearly three years later. Still though, if they’re going to win them, at least win them in a classic I guess. Very good match all the way through. Loved it.

We recap Angle’s hunt through TNA’s top ten, which more or less is he beats up everyone to get to the top guy. Pope just happens to be the next guy. There’s no real heat between them. Pope just has the right number.

Kurt Angle vs. DAngelo Dinero

Angle is listed as #10, yet he’s beaten two guys and Pope is 8th. I love the TNA thinking. We start on the ground. I’m watching this out of order since I got home late so this is the first match I watched. They’re doing the red, white and blue ropes which is cool looking. They booked themselves into a corner here as Angle can’t really lose but Pope is returning and hasn’t won a big match in months. Angle hits a buckle bomb which is always great looking.

This is a solid match to start but they’re not going to have a ton of time unless this goes up until eleven. Kurt is winning but not dominating which is a good thing. Pope steals the Rolling Germans which doesn’t work. Only a handful of people can suplex Angle and he isn’t one of them. Angle’s all like boy I’ll show you Rolling Germans. Pope hits a Codebreaker and the fans are all behind Angle.

Angle Slam hits from nowhere for two. Why are announcers still surprised by that? I don’t get it. Ankle Lock goes on but Pope gets a rollup for two. Ankle Lock again on the mat and it’s over. This needed a bit more time but was entertaining.

Rating: B-. Not bad at all here. The match was never in doubt though which is what hurt it. Angle is in a groove at the moment and this was no exception. This doesn’t hurt Pope that much though as he’ll likely move on to Anderson now. Decent enough match though and certainly passable.

RVD isn’t worried about Abyss and says he’ll stick the nail board up Abyss.

No recap here. Good as it’s not needed.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Damvs. Abyss

Everybody goes for Abyss to start and it doesn’t work. The crowd is odd here for some reason. This goes nowhere as Abyss just gets up. Hardy and Anderson get him down for like a second and we’re into the usual formula here to an extent. Yep we’re in the formula. That’s fine though as it’s really the only way to do this.

We’re mostly just killing time thus far. The crowd seems a bit dead for some reason but maybe it’s just been a long show. Van Dam hits a split legged moonsault on Anderson for two as Hardy saves. Abyss is gone for the moment so I’m waiting on his return to break up a pin. Instead we get a Tower of Doom with RVD taking the big bump from it. The fans chant TNA for a heel doing a big move. That sums things up pretty well.

Everyone is in the ring now and RVD is in control. I have no idea why everyone is trying to beat Abyss. He’s supposed to be unhurtable but they keep going for him. The fans chant for Anderson. This is really just a bunch of near falls with moves on the side. It’s not bad, but it’s the hazard of multiple man matches. Mic Check on Abyss gets two. Black Hole to Hardy gets two. Abyss looks stupid counting the pin.

Anderson and Hardy finally go at it and it gets NOTHING. This crowd is just out of it. Remember who these fans are too. Abyss is on Hardy who is on Anderson so RVD hits the Five Star for the pin. Wow that was anticlimactic.

Post match Abyss beats up RVD and gets the nail board which misses everything. The show ends with Abyss holding the board and RVD looking at him. Yeah that was stupid.

Rating: D. This just didn’t do it for me. It could have been worse, but at the same time there just wasn’t anything at all special here. The ending to both the match and the show just completely sucked, but what did you really expect? I see no reason at all for RVD to retain there, so of course he did. Whatever.

Overall Rating: D. I’m sorry but this show just was not very good. Actually screw that. I’m not sorry as the psychology was gone, very little made sense from the TV shows building it up and there was one truly good match. Everything else was either boring, confusing, or predictable.

 

RVD retains, likely setting up RVD vs. Abyss at Hard Justice in a match that should have been here. The Dudleys aren’t done yet so that solved nothing. Angle wins as you would expect him to and Lethal beat up a 60+ year old man. Someone tell me what good came from this other than the Guns’ win. Just a totally lackluster show. See the tag match though.

 

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On This Day: July 1, 2010 – Impact Wrestling: THEY Are Still Coming! Eventually!

Impact
Date: July 1, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The Voices in My Head

We get a recap of Hogan vs. Abyss which is mainly about THEY are coming.

We open in the arena with Abyss going crazy and throwing chairs into the ring. Hogan comes out and we’re told he needs back surgery. Bicshoff comes out before anything happens and Hogan tells him to step aside. TWO security guards come in to stop things. BISCHOFF SLAPS ABYSS.

 

Hogan pops him with a chair which does nothing and Hardy comes out for the save. A Twist of Fate puts Abyss down but a Hogan chair shot doesn’t? He adds a Swanton for the heck of it.

AJ vs. Joe later. That should work. Abyss comes up to the announce table and points at Taz, doing the YOU thing. It’s really going to be the ECW thing isn’t it?

Abyss vs. Hardy tonight.

InkIncvs. MotorCityMachineGuns

First match for the #1 contenders in….4 weeks? Shelley and Shannon to start which makes me think this is a Divas match for a second. This is a decently fast paced match which tells me we’re going to be done with Ink Inc soon. D-Von comes down to keep an eye on this and does commentary, saying he’s making sure Bubba doesn’t screw this up.

 

Neal hits Shelley with a spear for two and here’s Bubba just like the obvious would suggest. Neal gets distracted, setting up a SWEET double team move as Shelley hits Sliced Bread #2 while Sabin hits a sitout powerbomb on Neal for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was decent enough and the ending was AWESOME but seriously, the Neal/Bubba thing needs to die. It just does. No one is interested in either Dudley as a singles guy so don’t try to make them interesting. Just do Ink Inc vs. 3D like you should. We’ve tried the Dudleys as singles guys twice and it’s bombed both times. Don’t waste time on it a third time.

Pope is back tonight.

Bischoff makes Abyss vs. Hardy for the main event.

Dixie is just getting here. WHY IS IT SO HARD TO GET TO A TV SHOW ON TIME?

AJStylesvs. SamoaJoe

Ok, these two are usually AWESOME. Let’s see if they can manage to mess this up. Flair and Kaz come out behind AJ. That chant Joe gets every time has to be intimidating. Joe allegedly has the home field advantage….in the house that AJ built. Got it. AJ slams Joe and looks for approval from Flair. Eh that’s fine I guess. There is no one in Fourtune yet.

 

This is a decent back and forth match but I wish they could have it be more like their old ones without AJ constantly looking for approval. AJ goes for the figure four and gets caught in the clutch for the tap out. Post match AJ gets yelled at AGAIN by Flair. Kaz gets all smirky and I wonder what the point in making AJ into this is. AJ gets a mic and calls out Kaz for a match next week and it’s on.

Rating: B-. For only six minutes, this was solid. It’s obviously light years away from their epic wars, but this was far from bad. The post match thing showed promise for AJ which is a huge thing. Joe still looks completely directionless which is normal for him anymore but this was fine for what it was.

Dixie is with Hogan and Bischoff and in one of the funniest segments ever, Hogan calls Sting cancer, says Sting can’t handle success and says that Sting wants to destroy everything that’s successful and always has. I almost had to pause the show to clear the tears from my eyes from laughing so hard. Oh and Nash had a cameo.

BrianKendrickvs. DesmondWolfe

This is a submission match and Williams is on commentary. Wolfe dominates early so you know that Wolfe is jobbing here again. Williams vs. Jeremy Buck next week in a ladder match. Uh….WHY? He’s having an Ultimate X match at the PPV so shouldn’t he be doing that instead? Chelsea walks off and Kendrick gets the cobra clutch on Wolfe for the eventual tap. Yep that was predictable and pay no attention to the hold looking HORRIBLE.

Rating: N/A. This was maybe two minutes long and therefore the shortest submission match I can ever think of other than against a jobber. Ah never mind as this would fall into such a category. Again, is there a point to having Wolfe job so much? I’m certainly not seeing it.

Tommy Dreamer won’t comment on attending Impact.

Pope gets a video package.

And here he is. The fans chant hallelujah. He starts crying and says he’s glad to be back and thanks everyone. He says he wants Anderson and he’ll get back to him later. He wants the title back and talks for awhile. And cue Angle. He gets far more cheers and takes the entire segment which is expected I guess. Pope is the future of TNA apparently. The match is made for Victory Road, which makes me wonder who isn’t allowed to make matches.

We recap Flair vs. Lethal and continue to see how irritating Flair is now.

JayLethalvs. MattMorgan

Lethal calls out Flair and AJ but gets his opponent instead. Morgan has been asked to join Fourtune apparently. Morgan jumps him and goes for the elbows in the corner, most of which miss but whatever. After Morgan kind of dominates, Hernandez comes out and causes the distraction so that a missile dropkick can end Morgan.

Rating: C-. This was too short to mean anything but it was just about setting up the angle at the end with Hernandez. It’s kind of a head scratcher but for a few minutes long, this was fine for what it did. Lethal got to yell at Flair and Hernandez cost Morgan a match so that all adds up.

Abyss makes a 2×4 with nails in it.

MadisonRaynevs. TaylorWilde

WOW the champions is actually wrestling! I don’t believe it. This is of course not very good. It’s nice to see some fresh blood in there though so I’ll give them that. We lay around a lot as the ECW guys, this time plus Rhyno, show up to completely take away the spotlight from the match at hand as everyone cheers for ECW.

 

In a funny line Taz points out that none of these guys liked him in ECW anyway. Rayne hits that knee to the back of the head on Wilde to win it. Love comes out and beats her up with a chair.

Rating: N/A. This was bad but what do you expect really? The crowd only cared about the ECW guys and the match was awful. Love more or less has to win at the PPV but where does the division go from there? I have no clue at all but I doubt they do either.

Sarita beats the crap out of Wilde for no apparent reason other than a heel turn. She looks good in black too.

We run down the Victory Road card to waste some time.

Dixie finds Sting and he asks if she gets it now. She blames Sting for everything and she suspends him for 30 days without pay. Sting says she’s been conned but won’t explain. Dixie isn’t listening apparently. He’s about to explain and here’s Bischoff with security to get rid of Sting. He says let’s just make it indefinite instead of 30 days.

Abyssvs. JeffHardy

Van Dam is referee here. We get rid of the 2×4 board almost immediately. The ECW guys are gone too. Abyss takes over and that lasts only a bit as Abyss loses focus. This is fairly back and forth and is getting some time. Jeff “hits” a “Twist of Fate” but doesn’t get the Swanton.

 

And then the Swanton does hit and gets the completely clean pin. Oh sure…why not. Anderson comes in for the save with a chair but accidentally hits Hardy and takes Shock Treatment to end the show with Abyss standing tall.

Rating: C-. Eh nothing great here but nothing horrible either. The booking makes next to no sense here but it’s TNA so what do you expect? Abyss standing tall to end the show would be a lot better if he hadn’t gotten pinned in about seven minutes more or less clean but whatever. This did its job….I think.

Overall Rating: C. This was a different kind of show but it had one thing going very well for it: there was a point to just about everything here. The angles were almost all advanced or at least addressed which is good. The wrestling mostly sucked, but the main thing here was that they had a coherent story.

 

There was some unintentional comedy which you have to expect here, mainly in the form of the Hogan/Bischoff/Dixie segment which was just great. The rest of the show was solid and Sting STILL not explaining is like a running joke now. This was a good show I guess, but they really need to upgrade the wrestling.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @Kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 




On This Day: June 7, 2010 – Monday Night Raw: The Winds Of Nexus

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 7, 2010
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Hosts: Cast of A-Team

It’s Viewer’s Choice tonight so we get three hours and both brands. That’s always fun if nothing else and I have begged for this to be a TV special instead of a PPV like Taboo Tuesday or Cyber Sunday for the better part of ever so I’m happy here. Let’s get to it.

We open with Bret and Teddy Long in the ring, talking about tonight’s show. Bret wants to talk about Orton. Of course that means cue Orton with his arm in a sling. He wants Edge tonight and if he doesn’t get him he’ll go find him. So if he doesn’t get him he’ll go get him? Yeah….that makes sense. Edge of course comes out and that’s the Viewer’s Choice main event. Oh in case I forgot, tonight is Viewer’s Choice. The options are a debate, a sit up contest, or an arm behind the back match.

Now it’s time to have our first actual vote which is for Jericho vs. Show. The options are Over the Rope Challenge, Submission Match and Body Slam Challenge. It’s one of those shows I guess.

Striker has the results. He’s actually good in a roll like this.

Over the Rope Challenge: 11%
Submission Match: 41%
Body Slam Challenge: 48%

Big Show vs. Chris Jericho

To be fair, there are at least two options that were possible there so that’s better than nothing. Show pulls Jericho up from the floor to the ring BY THE HAIR. FREAKING OW MAN. Jericho works on the arm for no apparent reason. He then tries a cross body and Show ends it easily. He throws on the Colossal Clutch and Jericho taps. And of course he throws him over the top too. That’s kind of funny I guess.

Rating: D. This wasn’t much of a match at all, but it did the job. Wait no it really didn’t as nothing at all was accomplished here. Jericho is feuding with Truth…kind of, and Show is going for the world title. What was the point here? Yeah this was actually bad.

Up next the Hart Dynasty vs. YOUR PICK. It’s either the Usos, the Dudebusters or Khali and Horny. That….could actually go a few ways.

Usos: 36%
Dudebusters: 10%
Great Khali/Hornswoggle: 54%

NO FREAKING WAY this is legit. NO WAY.

Hart Dynasty vs. Great Khali/Hornswoggle

I’m fairly sure this is non-title. Khali and Kidd start us off as for one of the first times, Natalya looks great to me. Tadpole Splash misses thank goodness. Horny gets pinned in like 8 seconds. Oh this was stupid. The Usos run out and get beaten up for the first time. The Harts needed that one.

Rating: N/A. This was barely a match at all. The good thing to come out of this though is that the Harts now look actually credible against the Usos which is the most important part of this I think. If nothing else they look like they would have a fighting chance in a match against them which I’d bet happens at the PPV. Yeah I know that’s a fairly safe bet but you make a ton of money that way in the long run.

Lawler says something is wrong and leaves. Ok then.

We recap the Taker is dead thing which is at least elevating Kane for once.

The guest hosts come out and there’s just one of them. He says there’s a great show coming. Ok then.

Lawler is in the back and the other two guest hosts in fake mustaches are in character and say that Lawler wanted to hire them. SOMEONE STOLE HIS CROWN! They leave and run into the Bellas who they refuse to break character for. This is actually working for me.

Santino Marella vs. Vladimir Kozlov

The choices are Match, Arm Wrestling or Dance-Off. Hmm I wonder what’s going to win.

Match: 9%
Arm Wrestling: 7%
Dance-Off: 84%

Oh did you expect it to be anything else? Santino says he used to be a Backstreet Boy. Santino’s isn’t that funny or special. Kozlov does something similar to a robot. He’s actually not terrible. Ok this is sort of funny. Ok it’s VERY funny. They dance a bit afterwards and Santino gets slammed. Find a video of Kozlov dancing. It had me dying of laughter.

The Divas are in the back and they’re going to have a match next. The choices are 6 on 6 tag, Battle Royal or Champion vs. Champion. Wow those are actual wrestling matches.

Lawler is back.

6 on 6 Tag: 11%
Battle Royal: 73%
Champion vs. Champion: 16%

Divas Battle Royal

Again, I can live with this. Also it’s only 8:56 so we should step it up a bit soon enough. There isn’t much you can say here. Ah apparently going through the ropes counts too. Rosa is out. Tiffany is put out by Laycool. The same goes for Kelly. Gail hits a SWEET hurricanrana as nothing of note is going on. Gail and Alicia who have a match on Superstars are both out as are the Bellas. Laycool vs. Eve and Maryse are the final four. Make that Maryse, Eve and Jillian who I didn’t notice at all. Eve is out which is surprising. Jillian says they can be co-winners but Maryse throws her out. Boring but the girls looked good so there we are.

Rating: C-. Battle royals are hard to rate but this worked fine for what it was. It was about having hot women in small outfits fighting each other. In that sense it was a success. This is also a good idea as the less talented wrestlers are allowed to not have to actually, you know, wrestle. Maryse winning was a nice surprise also.

Sheamus and Kane have a staredown in the back. I’d like to watch that. He accuses Sheamus with some bad acting. Kane says he hopes to see him real soon.

WHO SHOULD SHEAMUS FACE? Kane, Mark Henry or Evan Bourne. HMM! I wonder who it’ll be!!!

Kane: 88%
Mark Henry: 3%
Evan Bourne: 9%

Sheamus vs. Kane

Yeah this works. I love big men fighting. Sheamus beats him up for awhile. We take a break. Sheamus is still beating him up. Kane starts beating him up for awhile. Chokeslam is blocked twice, Sheamus takes over again. Seriously that’s all that’s happened and it’s taken nearly 8 minutes. Chokeslam hits but Sheamus rolls to the floor and he just takes the count out. Eh that makes sense I guess and Kane looked very strong here.

Rating: C-. Very smart booking here as both guys get to look strong as well as giving us a decent match. Again it’s not particularly good but it did the right thing. Sheamus needs to stay strong going into the PPV and Kane needs to look strong going into the big angle he’s in. If he plays his cards right he could get to job to the world champion out of this which is a step up for him.

Edge vs. Orton in the behind the back thing.

Cena vs. Swagger, Mysterio or Punk later. That actually could be any of them.

We look at Wade Barrett who is indeed the best guy for that show. And here’s Wade Barrett. He’s asked what it’s like to win NXT. He says you wouldn’t ask a genius about passing a grade school exam. GREAT LINE. He says in one week he’s going to do something that’s never been accomplished before.

DiBiase and Virgil are in the back. I never get over saying that. The A-Team guys are here and accuse DiBiase of taking the crown. IRS IS HERE, WEARING THE CROWN! Apparently the crown was taken for not paying back taxes. There’s a gas attack and the heels wear masks while the faces are out cold. Ok then.

Miz and Truth have a tag match next and you get to pick their partners. Here are the options.

R-Truth: Christian, MVP, John Morrison
Miz: Zach Ryder, Dolph Ziggler, William Regal

R-Truth/??? Vs. The Miz/???

A REALLY annoying fan keeps chanting MVP for Truth’s partner.

Christian: 29%
MVP: 17%
John Morrison: 54%

That’s rather telling, and THANK YOU for not being MVP.

Dolph Ziggler: 38%
William Regal: 17%
Zach Ryder: 45%

Well he has the best music I guess. Weird team if nothing else. Morrison is back as he hits all of his big kicks, but in a rather short match, Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale (GREAT one too as Morrison’s head just bounced off the mat) on Morrison to get the pin. He signals that he wants the belt back. Liking the young four guys being out there.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but it was really too short to get anything going. Is there a point to bringing Morrison back to job him out though? I really fail to see the point to that but if nothing else it fuels the Miz/Truth thing which I guess is just starting now. I still don’t get the Morrison losing thing though.

Bret and Edge talk for a bit in the back and Kane accuses Bret of attacking Taker. Interesting little thing: Taker has NEVER beaten Bret clean.

Edge vs. Randy Orton

Remember that Edge will have an arm behind his back. Edge’s left arm is behind his back but Orton’s right arm is in a sling. Ok then. After about a minute Edge pulls the rope off and stomps on Orton’s arm. This gets the DQ. He goes for a spear but Orton gets a kick up to block it. Edge gets a chair and hits Orton in the arm with it.

Rating: N/A. This was an angle rather than a match but it opens a very interesting door as it’s now possible that Orton is out of the PPV match. This was a great idea and it came off rather well.

Cena and Bourne are talking in the back. Savannah comes up and asks Cena how he feels about he main event tonight. He says his life has been hectic and tonight the people make the pick and its their opinions that matter the most. The crowd is rather pro-Cena to say the least.

The A-Team guy wakes up…and MEAN FREAKING GENE IS WITH HIM! Gene makes fun of Josh Matthews who is right behind him.

Drew McIntyre vs. ???

The options are:

Yoshi Tatsu: 4%
Goldust: 8%
Mystery Opponent (does Matt Hardy poses): 88%

And it’s….actually Matt Hardy???? WOW. Drew says the match isn’t happening because of the suspension. Teddy comes out and says that he’s suspended from Smackdown, not Raw. Matt punches the tar out of him and never lets up. I like this angle actually. You can’t beat an old fashioned grudge match. Drew misses a charge and hits the post which POPS. Twist of Fate ends this clean in like 90 seconds. Post match he slams Drew’s head into the mat and keeps beating him down. Matt pulls some of his hair out. This was impressive for Hardy.

Rating: D. Uh…what was that? We build Drew vs. Matt up for weeks and him inside of 3 minutes clean? What was the point of that? Wasn’t Drew supposed to be getting a mammoth push and now he’s jobbing to Hardy in what could have been a decent PPV match? It fits but it’s just rather odd.

BA Baracus (Rampage Jackson) is in the back tied up and Virgil, IRS and DiBiase say they’re taking him to the ring. I like this actually.

Back from break and we’re in the ring. DiBiase says that he has a price, including him. Apparently someone wants BA…and it’s……RODDY PIPER??? What the heck? HUGE Roddy chant. Oh that’s right Piper feuded with Mr. T. WAY back in the day. Piper has a hat on for no apparent reason. He’s ticked off because he doesn’t want more hype over the A-Team again. He says it’s time for a fight and here’s the other A-Team guy along with Mean Gene and Dusty Rhodes on a golf cart.

Jackson breaks the handcuffs and it’s on! Jackson can actually fight of course so this is a massive beatdown. Dusty thinks he’s Murdoch from A-Team and plugs the movie……IF YOU WILL. This worked in the weirdest way you can possibly imagine, but it did in fact work. Oh and Lawler gets the crown back.

Next week’s host is the star of Royal Pains which Big Show is guest starring on soon. See what happens when you have RELEVANT hosts?

Josh is with the three options for Cena’s opponent. Rey says to be the top dog, you have to go after the top dog. Yeah that’s not at all like To be the man you’ve gotta beat the man. Swagger says it should be champion vs. champion. Punk just makes fun of Matthews and asks why Cena should get to fight Punk.

Here’s Cena and it’s only twenty minutes until eleven. That’s a good sign of a long match.

Jack Swagger: 23%
Rey Mysterio: 32%
CM Punk: 45%

John Cena vs. CM Punk

As a Punk fan, this works. Immediately Cena goes for the mask as you would expect. Punk is wearing camo tights. That’s just odd. The fans pop for Cena like a cherry but then chant you can’t wrestle. Odd crowd. Gallows cheats to get us to even and we go to a break. We come back and Cena starts taking over and goes for the 5 Knuckle Shuffle….and here’s Wade Barrett. Then all 7 other rookies show up and beat the tar out of the SES. Then they all get in the ring….and beat up Cena. What is going on here. AND THEY THEY BEAT UP STRIKER! AND LAWLER! Cole, of course, runs.

This is actually really cool. They turn over the announce tables and are all wreaking havoc. Security gets beaten up and they punch the announcer. They’re tearing the mat off the ring. Justin Roberts is getting choked out by Bryan. They’re destroying the arena. The ropes are torn up. Now they’re back to Cena. The ropes are literally falling apart, you can see the wood that is under the ring mat and they’re all clotheslining Cena.

Punk even tries to fight them and he gets beaten down. This is AWESOME by the way. Danielson yells at Cena that he’s better than Cena and spits in his face. Barrett hits his finisher on Cena, Gabriel hits the 450 on him. They’re all heel here in case you didn’t get the idea. They leave with Punk and Gallows out cold on the floor. This was original NWO level of insanity and one of the coolest endings to a Raw I’ve seen in forever. Also with there being 8 of them, that’s one heck of a force to fight off. Cena goes out on a stretcher but does the thumbs up as he leaves.

Rating: A+. The match was decent, but the angle was absolutely incredible. If nothing else it lasted longer than the Slammys match they had where Punk lost in like 2 minutes. I’m still in awe over the NXT thing which is saying a lot as it’s 7am at this point.

Overall Rating: B+. I’ve heard a lot of negative things about this show since it aired, but this was a very successful show to me. Angles were advanced, feuds were partially ended and the ending blew my mind. I’ve been watching Raw since it debuted and this is easily one of the best endings I’ve ever seen. NO ONE would have called this and it came off perfectly. Good show overall and the ending was amazing beyond belief.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:




On This Day: June 6, 2010 – AAA Triple Mania XVIII: With Double Dancing Skeleton Men

Triplemania 18
Date: June 6, 2010
Location: Palacio de los Deportes, Mexico City, Mexico
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Konnan, Alfonso Morales, Jesus Zuniga, Arturo Rivera

 

This is the Wrestlemania of the AAA promotion, which I believe is the biggest wrestling company in Mexico. This show is their latest major show so I figured I’d take a look at it. I figured if I can watch Japanese shows and have no idea what’s going on I can do the same with Spanish ones right? I speak some Spanish so this could be a bit better. The main event is LA Park vs. La Parka for the rights to the name La Parka which is apparently a dream match. Let’s get to it.

 

Again if I mess something up I apologize. Keep in mind I have no idea what’s going on or who half of these people are. Also I don’t know any stories or anything like that either. Please bear with me on this but I’ll do what I can.

 

The opening video is about war throughout the ages, including shots of Hitler. Also we get what I think is the history of Triplemania which had a lot of Konnan in it. There’s a countdown and we go to the arena where pyro is set off.

 

Some good looking women bring down flags and what looks like a coat of arms while what sounds like the score of Rocky IV plays in the background. Actually it doesn’t sound like the score from Rocky IV. It IS the score from Rocky IV. That’s kind of awesome. One of the flags has a man’s face on it and the girls stop by a woman in the audience holding an urn. I think that face is of the founder of the company and I’m assuming that’s his widow? She’s shown on the big screen so I’d assume she’s important.

 

Mini-Estrellas Championship: Octagonito vs. Mini Abismo Negro vs. Mini Charly Manson vs. Mascarita Divina vs. Mini Psicosis vs. Mini Histeria vs. Mascarita Sagrada vs. La Parkita vs. Mini Chessman

 

This is a 9 man TLC match for the World Minis Championship. From what I understand there are often minis that are tributes to the full sized wrestlers. Notice a lot of people being named mini whatever name. Abismo Negro is the champion here. I won’t be saying mini every time so if I say Psicosis for example, I mean the mini, not the big guy. Good luck trying to keep track of who is who here but I’ll do what I can.

 

The entrances take a very long time as you would expect. Oh wait here are three at once. I think they’re called the Mini Vipers. They’re comprised of Abismo Negro, Histeria and Psicosis. Parkita comes out to Thriller which is kind of cool. It should be noted that these guys aren’t tiny. They’re just slightly above the top rope. Divina is in blue. That helps a bit.

 

Manson gets a nice reaction. Octoganito gets a better one though. I think that leaves only Sagrada. No apparently I just missed his entrance as there are 9 people in there. Here we go. The Vipers team is all in pink so they’re a unit I guess. They have a big six sided ring and they stay on a wide shot. It’s FAR bigger than American rings. Parkita vs. Chessman in the ring at the moment. Scratch that as they both dive out.

 

Divina vs. a Viper at the moment. Manson vs. another Viper now. They’re flying in and out but other than the first seconds there haven’t been more than two in there at all. From what I understand this was supposed to be a seven man match but Chessman and Parkita were added to the match at the last minute. Big chair shot to the head of Manson I think.

 

There’s a ladder in the ring which is being used a bit but no one has tried to go up yet. And just as I say that there they go. Psicosis makes an attempt at it but is met by Octoganito. The overhead camera shot is taking some getting used to. Divina, Parkita and a Viper in there at the moment. Divina has a ladder but a Viper has another one, this one shorter. The Viper gets a powerbomb to Divina as Parkita brings in a table.

 

Something draws a pop from the crowd but we don’t see it. Divina vs. a Viper at this point. The Viper is sent to the floor and Divina gets a gorgeous rana to the floor. I think that was Octagonito with the big tope con giro. There are two chairs with the small ladder laid on them. Psicosis and Manson in there with Psicosis going through the pile of stuff.

 

The referees help Manson set up the big ladder. Up he goes but a Viper kicks the ladder out and down he comes. Parkita and a Viper (I think Abismo Negro) fight on the apron with the Viper being powerslammed through a table in a cool spot. Another Viper sets up a table in the ring and kicks Octoganito in the head. Divina hits a baseball slide to take out someone that we couldn’t see.

 

The Viper puts Octoganito on the table as Divina climbs the ladder. Another guy is being carried out on a stretcher and I’d assume it was the Viper that went through the table. Octoganito gets a sunset bomb off the ladder to put the Viper through it. BIG pop for that and Octoganito is able to climb up and win the title. Sweet I had the right person!

 

Rating: C-. This is a very hard one to grade. The problem here is that it was more like a highlight reel than an actual match. There were a lot of people that I have no idea if I saw more than once or not. With only two people in the ring for the majority of the match I often forgot there were 9 in this. It’s certainly exciting, but there was little that got me into it. Also at less than ten minutes, how into it could I get?

 

Octoganito talks to the woman with the urn post match.

 

A Viper is put on a stretcher. It’s not Psicosis so I’d assume it’s Histeria. After some further research I’m right.

 

Sexy Star/Rain/Jennifer Blade vs. Cinthia Moreno/Mari/Faby Apache

 

So from what I understand, the first group of girls here are part of La Legion Extranjera, or the Foreign Legion. In short, it’s Konnan’s team and the top heel group. There isn’t a set lineup for them all the time as a lot of the time it’s just any foreign wrestler. This is the new Foreign Legion though and they have more of a concrete group of people. Whoever is pinned or submits here is the slave of the winning team for a month. Rain you might remember as Payton Banks in TNA. Faby and Mari are sisters.

 

The heels have American flags and are pretty hated. Star gets her own entrance apart from her partners. She’s women’s champion here, called the Reina de Reinas (Queen of Queens). Ok Cinthia is in black. Faby is in gold and Mari is in black and gold. Got it I think. They look like sisters so it helps. Konnan has something to say. It seems that there’s something up with the referee here and he might not be trustworthy.

 

Big brawl to start with I think Blade being triple teamed. No wait that’s Star. Cinthia and the sisters clear the ring as this has been a rout so far. More double teaming as I think Rain is double teamed by the sisters. There seems to be no tagging in this match. Star is in a mask. The heels take over now and the beating is on for Faby. Now the Foreign Legion clears the ring. This is rather back and forth stuff.

 

They beat up Mari now but there haven’t been any covers yet. Now they’re on Cinthia but a double team misses. Big double kick to the back of the head of Blade and the momentum shifts again. Ah I was right: the referee IS cheating and the non foreigners go after him. Ok now we get some regular tagging. Blade vs. Cinthia to start and a long Tumble Weed gets no count as the referee breaks up the pin attempt.

 

Implant buster by Fabi gets no cover as Star breaks it up. Star sends Fabi to the floor and Cinthia follows. Tope by Star takes out everyone in sight. Well everyone in her way on the floor on the other team. Mari drills Star and the champion is on the floor now as well. Mari beats the tar out of the referee but a broom stick from Blade to the back of Mari is enough for the pin and Mari is the slave of the Foreign Legion.

 

Rating: D+. This was kind of a mess but I think a lot of that can be blamed on me not really having any idea what was going on. If nothing else the girls look good and there’s a storyline of the evil referee going on in there. Decent match though and the celebration by the Foreign Legion is rather amusing as they’re nearly orgasmic over having Mari as their slave.

 

Rain says the thirty days start now. Mari says she’ll do the thirty days but she’s kicking their heads in right now. She and her partners get Blade down but some short fat guy runs in and the distraction stops that and Blade gets away. He yells at the referee who yells back. It seems that the guy that ran in is saying the loss wasn’t fair due to the referee cheating. The referee says it counts and Konnan comes in and grabs Mari, throwing her to the Foreign Legion girls, saying down with Mexico or something like that.

 

Tag Titles: Los Maniacos vs. Beer Money vs. Atsushi Aoki/Go Shiozaki vs. Nicho/Joe Lider

 

This is under elimination rules and Shiozako/Aoki are champions coming in. Los Maniacos are Silver Cain (Silver King from WCW who has lost his mask and Ultimo Gladiator). An interesting point here is that the champions are introduced by the wrong name with one guy not getting an announcement at all. Also from what I’ve read, only Konnan knew either their names or Beer Money’s names. Cain basically is something like Mr. America where everyone knows it’s Silver King but officially it’s a different guy as his name is different if that makes sense.

 

The wrong music plays for the champions as it’s Beer Money’s song instead. Ok here is Beer Money to the right music. They’re part of the Foreign Legion tonight. See how the group works now? In the back the final team is coming to the ring but some guy in a suit says Konnan is out there and not to go after them. That would be Nicho/Lider who are La Hermandad 187 (the 187 Brotherhood). Nicho is more famous as Psicosis without the mask. The Japanese guys and Lider almost get into it before the match.

 

No tagging here again it seems. This is going to take some getting used to. Roode and someone are on the floor. Also cut out the wide shots. I can’t see anyone specifically for the most part. Four in the ring and four on the floor at the moment. I think Beer Money is on the floor. It’s the Japanese guys and Los Maniacos in there at the moment. Nicho who is apparently a millionaire is down.

 

Only the champions (Japanese guys remember) are staying in the ring and on their feet the whole time. One hits a frog splash to I think Lider for two. Beer Money vs. Japanese guys at the moment. I know I’m saying Japanese guys a lot but it’s the best description I can give you in a short amount of time. Hermanadad gets in Konnan’s face with chairs but the champions jump them to save K-Dawg.

 

Beer Money works on Nicho with a wheelbarrow/Codebreaker combination. They set for the BEER MONEY thing but Hermanadad gets a pair of rollups for two each. Nicho vs. Aoki at the moment with the champion winning. Storm is ripping Cain’s mask and almost has it off. Nicho vs. Aoki in the ring at the moment and Aoki is sent to the floor. Tope con Giro by Nicho takes down Aoki.

 

La Hermanadad beats on Aoki now until Shiozaki comes in. A middle rope Backstabber out of nowhere to Shiozaki puts him out and the champions are gone! Konnan FREAKS as we’re down to three teams. Storm has a chair now and sets it up in the corner. Beer Money beats on the Hermanadad as we haven’t seen much from the masked dudes. Beer Money screws up and Roode head winds up in Storm’s crotch.

 

Los Manacos get into it again and go after 187 which is what I’m going to say instead of La Hermanadad. 187 is down but get up to hit stereo Downward Spirals to Beer Money. Storm takes what we would call a Mooregasm and then add….something which gets two on Storm. It was some double team move but it was hard to see what it was. Konnan distracts 187 again and a chair to the head of Lider by Storm ends them and we’re down to Los Manacos vs. Beer Money for the titles.

 

Tower of Doom spot doesn’t really work at all but it looked ok and got two for Roode. Nicho goes after Konnan with a chair but can’t hit him. The fans are completely behind Manacos. Cain misses a moonsault and the slingshot DDT kills Gladiator as it’s all Beer Money with the spinebuster to Cain. Heel miscommunication occurs though and it’s Gladiator vs. Storm.

 

There are two referees in the ring for some reason. Spear takes down Storm for two. Roode and Cain have gone off to find a Bingo game or something. Storm hits a powerslam for two. Superkick by Storm misses and Cain hits a Death Valley Driver for the pin and the titles. HUGE pop for that as they’re faces and Mexicans hold the titles again.

 

Rating: B-. This was a more fun match than the rest of them. While it was still hard to follow it was less difficult than the other matches. This lack of tagging thing is something I’m having issues getting used to. Either way, there was more of a flow here and I had a better idea of what was going on which is certainly a good thing.

 

Post match two guys come out and stare down the new champions. These guys are from a promotion called IWRG which is a rival company feuding with AAA. This had never been mentioned on a AAA broadcast until now. This challenge takes WAY too long as the invaders talk forever.

 

AAA now has a videogame. Good to know. Why is the commercial in English? They couldn’t put Spanish text on there?

 

A bunch of guys in matching t-shirts that aren’t wrestlers come out and say they can do a lot of for this country. I think this is some charity thing.

 

We talk about the upcoming hair vs. hair match. It’s a six man match and each team is representing a referee. The referee of the losing team gets their hair shaved. Also, this is a cage match which from what I can find wasn’t announced at all prior to the show. The talking for this match takes way too long. Some people start a chant saying KONNAN OUT.

 

Alex Kozlov/Chessman/Hernandez vs. Heavy Metal/Octagon/Pimpinela Escarlata

 

Kozlov is a Soviet character that looks a bit homosexual. Yes it’s that Hernandez. Kozlov’s team is Team Hijo de Tirantes and the other is Team Pierro. I think you can only win by escape and it has to be all three team members. Team Hijo is of the Foreign Legion also. Escarlata is a transvestite. Ok then.

 

In the gimmick that will never die, Kozlov wants to sing the Russian National Anthem. He’s interrupted by Escarlata who puts what appears to be a g-string on his face. That starts the brawl and remember it’s all three out to win. Hernandez is a monster in this. The Foreign Legion dominates to start with a triple team on Escarlata. Now it’s Heavy Metal’s turn to get beaten down.

 

Konnan talks about the main event which is apparently a huge match. The evil referee cracks Escarlata in the head with a chair through the cage. The non-foreign guys have had zero offence. We talk about how awesome the Foreign Legion is for a bit which is true as they’re dominating here to put it mildly. Octagon wakes up all of a sudden, goes OFF on Chessman and dodges a diving Hernandez before Octagon climbs the cage, escaping easily. Gee what a nice guy. “My team is getting destroyed. I’m out people!”

 

Escarlata and Kozlov go up at the same time so Escarlata kisses him to slow him down. Escarlata gets rammed into the cage and Kozlov is out, making it 2-2. Now Escarlata is kissing Hernandez which lets the gender confused one climb the cage. After kissing the evil referee he escapes to make it Hernandez/Chessman vs. Heavy Metal.

 

Hernandez gets the Border Toss into the cage to Heavy Metal which isn’t a big move in Mexico I guess. With Chessman beating down Heavy Metal, Hernandez starts to bail. Then he channels his inner Jimmy Snuka and FLATTENS Metal with a splash. Hernandez escapes easily but the good (I think) referee stops Chessman, knocking him back to the mat.

 

The problem is that Heavy Metal is still completely dead. Chessman goes up for the escape but instead tries a moonsault. With the key word there being tries as Heavy Metal rolls out of the way and Chessman is down too. Escarlata plays cheerleader outside and the race is on. The evil referee smacks Chessman with a chair and Chessman escapes for the win and the head shaving of the good referee.

 

Rating: B. Pretty easily the best match of the night so far. There was a clear story going on in there with the Foreign Legion being far more talented but they got overconfident and the AAA guys were able to fight them off for a bit. The two huge spots helped it also with them bringing the crowd to its feet. I liked this and thought it worked rather well. Not sure why the cage stipulation was just thrown on but it probable made the match better.

 

Post match the good referee’s hair is shaved to evil laughter in a kind of disturbing moment. They keep telling him to raise his head so he smacks the evil referee and cracks him with the chair he had to sit in.

 

The announcers argue while we take down the cage.

 

Cibernetico/Abyss vs. El Zorro/Vampiro

 

Cibernetico is one of the top faces in the company (or was at this point). Abyss and Vampiro I think you know. El Zorro is a heel and part of the Foreign Legion and after this show would win the world title. This is a hardcore match. Despite being a foreigner Abyss isn’t part of the Foreign Legion for some reason.

 

Cibernetico’s entrance is in a word, epic. I think he’s supposed to be a cyborg or something. He’s clearly one of the most popular people in the company. This is that odd kind of hardcore where you have to tag in and out. Yeah I know just go with it. Cibernetico and Zorro start us off.

 

Cibernetico tights say Main Man. At least there isn’t a target saying “goes here” underneath it. The partners just come in for no apparent reason with Abyss going off on Vampiro. This is during Abyss-A-Mania but it doesn’t seem to be that bad at this point. Zorro has a kendo stick as the announcers argue some more. Zorro beats on Cibernetico with a chair in the ring while the other guys are out on the floor.

 

Vampiro sets up a table but can’t get a moonsault through it. Abyss can’t get his powerbomb through it either so it all evens out. Cibernetico hits the floor and now it’s turning into a regular hardcore match. Vampiro and Konnan point at each other for some reason but the wasted time lets Abyss get his hands on Vampiro. Abyss is thrown at the table which collapses but doesn’t break.

 

Konnan gets in Vampiro’s face again for no apparent reason. Everyone but Abyss is in the ring now and it’s a 2-1 beatdown. I’m not sure what the deal is with two referees. Maybe Gorilla Monsoon is secretly commissioner here or something. Cibernetico dumps Vampiro (to be with Abyss I guess) but has a kendo stick tossed into his leg.

 

Abyss is back in now but can’t get a double chokeslam. He settles for a double clothesline instead and down goes the Foreign Legion. Abyss……moves……very……very……slowly. The Foreign Legion hits the ring, in the form of Christopher Daniels, Kozlov, Chessman, Nosawa (Japanese guy) and Hernandez. Cibernetico is like screw that and beats them up on his own.

 

Zorro takes him down and hammers away with the kendo stick. Cue Abyss who hits Shock Treatment and Zorro is more or less dead. Hernandez misses a chair shot and hits Vampiro by mistake. Konnan grabs Vampiro and throws powder in his face. A chokeslam from Cibernetico ends this.

 

Rating: C+. Not bad here. They got rid of the tagging after about a second and things got a lot better. Decent little match here and the Foreign Legion losing is a good thing for a change tonight. Cibernetico is a guy that it’s easy to get behind so I can see why he’s one of the most popular there. Decent match all around but a bit rushed.

 

The Foreign Legion beats down the winners post match. Konnan and Vampiro stare each other down but La Hermanadad 187 runs in for the save and the beatdown is on with Foreign Legion being left laying.

 

Konnan rants about that for awhile.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Jack Evans vs. Nosawa vs. Extreme Tiger vs. Christopher Daniels

 

Elimination again and Tiger has the title. Evans is the epitome of a guy that likes flippys. Also in this company they have what sounds like a whistle instead of a bell. That takes a lot of getting used to. Tiger and Daniels hit the floor almost immediately as Evans flips a lot to attack Nosawa. Konnan lists off a lot of cruiserweights that are awesome while Nosawa takes over.

 

Tiger vs. Nosawa now in the ring as they don’t have to tag again. AAA really doesn’t like to have to do that do they? Tiger gets a seated senton to the balls of Nosawa. Now that’s just not nice at all. Daniels vs. Tiger now with Daniels in control. Tiger has a mask if I didn’t mention that. Daniels is sent to the floor so it’s down to Nosawa vs. Tiger now. And yes I know it’s Extreme Tiger but I’m not writing both words every time.

 

Daniels pulls the rope down and Evans hits the floor. Big clothesline and Evans does a 360 on the floor. Daniels beats down Tiger in the ring and is joined by Nosawa for a double flapjack. Nosawa and Daniels are Foreign Legion teammates so they’re working together here. Daniels sets Tiger for a Death Valley Driver while Nosawa adds a superkick to the head for a nice double team move.

 

Evans comes in and it’s more or less an unofficial tag match now. Tiger and Evans get Daniels down and double team Nosawa. A double cover after a rather contrived spot gets no pin for either good guy. Someone is bleeding as there’s blood on Daniels’ face. Evans kicks Daniels to the floor and does a huge flip onto him. Tiger throws Nosawa to the floor and hits a 450 out to the floor! You don’t see that often at all. Naturally that only gets two back in the ring. A springboard double stomp to Nosawa is enough to eliminate him through and we’re down to three.

 

This referee counts SLOW. The two good guys beat on Daniels for awhile and they have a chop off. I think it’s Daniels that is bleeding actually. It looked like blood on him earlier but not his own. Daniels tries to leave but Tiger is like get back here baldie. Rollup by Evans gets two on Tiger. Elevated double arm DDT by Tiger gets two on Evans. This referee stops for a long time after two.

 

Some guy comes out in an Extreme Tiger mask and pulls it off to reveal….another mask. The distraction allows Daniels to be able to get a rollup to make it Evans vs. Daniels for the title. Oh great: a Christopher Daniels match. Can’t you hear the excitement in my voice over this turn of events? Four straight backbreakers without dropping Evans by Daniels. Now off to a half crab as just Daniels being in there is putting me to sleep.

 

Spin out powerbomb gets two for Daniels. He’s been on offense the entire time since Tiger was eliminated. Evans is sent to the apron and hits a springboard double knee strike for no cover. Big running knee strike gets no cover again. Instead he tries a 630 but eats knees to the back. Best Moonsault Ever gets two. Daniels tries a belly to back off the top but gets knocked backwards to the mat. A big corkscrew splash gives Evans the title. The referee looks around for help and stops at two as I guess he was crooked also.

 

Rating: B-. Fun match but at 25 minutes or so it’s a bit long. This whole show is over 4 hours so it’s a bit much to sit through when you’re not familiar with a lot of these guys. Still though, this was rather good for the most part. The long period before the first pin and then another crooked referee was too much though which is what’s holding it back. That and the time.

 

Dr. Wagner says he’ll win and be #1.

 

AAA World Heavyweight Title: Dr. Wagner Jr. vs. Electroshock

 

Electroshock is defending champion here. This has apparently been a well built match and is supposed to be a war. Keep that in mind. Electroshock has no mask. Got it. That belt is huge. Fans are completely behind Wagner. They shake hands and here we go. LONG stall to start as we wait for them to actually do something. Two minutes without anything until they finally lock up.

 

Oh wait false alarm as we’re waiting again. And now, another lockup. Electroshock is muscled and Wagner is kind of stocky but well built. Rather technical stuff so far to start and we have a standoff. Test of strength results in Electroshock completely outmaneuvering Wagner and getting him down in a leg lock. The fans aren’t exactly pleased here.

 

And it’s another standoff. This is more like a badly written ballet/dance routine than a match. Back to that stupid test of strength for like the third time so far. And now Electroshock hits the floor out of boredom. Back and it’s another wristlock. There has been a total of one strike, a kick to the back, in this whole match and we’re about 8 minutes into it.

 

Short arm scissors gets neither guy anywhere. They trade some WEAK chops as I’m bored out of my mind here. Where are Gorilla and Jesse to make subtle jokes when I need them? Konnan seems to be praising this match as we’re in leg lock #8475 so far. A lot of hip tosses and arm drags set up a kick to the head by Wagner in the biggest move of the match. We get a replay of it in slow motion and it shows the kick must have missed by four inches. Nice job guys.

 

Wagner is sent to the floor so Electroshock hits a big dive to FINALLY get something going here. Fans are still cheering for Wagner. These guys are really bad about covering up that their strikes aren’t hitting. Electroshock grabs a Fujiwara Armbar and Wagner is in trouble. And then he just lets it go because I guess he wanted to go find an enchilada. Superplex by Electroshock gets two.

 

Can someone do something interesting? The match hasn’t been good from an entertainment standpoint, it’s decent from a technical standpoint, and it’s killed the crowd in general. WAY too much time without them doing anything in particular. The fans cheer for Wagner. Wagner sits there. Rana gets two for Wagner. Abdominal stretch by the champion which is the setup for his finisher but he cheats with the ropes and the hold is broken.

 

It’s 4:45am so excuse me if I nod off for a bit. Hey look: MORE STANDING AROUND! Victory Roll by the Doctor results in about 8 rolls in slow motion and Electroshock gets two out of it. The Dr. hits a front flip off the apron and both guys are down. Maybe they’re taking a nap while they’re out there. I wouldn’t blame them if they did.

 

Electroshock gets his hold which is a kneeling abdominal stretch with a leg lock. Yep that goes nowhere as Wagner reverses into a rollup for two. Wagner’s finisher, a Michinoku Driver, gets two. Medium boot by Electroshock gets him nowhere as Wagner hits an enziguri followed by the second Wagner Driver for the pin and the title. Dude….seriously? That’s the ending? Oh well at least it’s main event time.

 

Rating: D-. Oh my. Oh my indeed. This may have been the least interesting main event I have seen in a very long time. It runs 22 minutes and they were in first gear for about 20 minutes of that. There is, I kid you not, probably seven combined minutes of just standing around doing nothing. This match was very boring and sucked the decent life out of this show. Absolutely terrible and the fans booing in parts was something I’d have done too. Totally boring for the most part and the ending came out of nowhere.

 

Mesias, a former champion hands Wagner the belt and hugs him. Wagner and Electroshock shake hands too.

 

Between replays and the celebration we kill off almost ten minutes.

 

La Parka says he is the real La Parka and will prove it tonight.

 

LA Park vs. La Parka

 

Now this is an interesting one. LA Park is the original La Parka and the one from WCW. He was a major star in AAA but left 14 years ago to go to WCW. The thing was the original owner of AAA, and the guy whose ashes are in that urn, kept the rights to the gimmick and gave them to the guy known as La Parka. LA Park is the new name that the original La Parka used to continue the gimmick without continuing the gimmick. He returned in a shocking moment and said he wanted his name back. This match is for the official rights to the name and gimmick. In short, this is a big match that no one thought would happen.

 

Both come out to Thriller and look almost identical. I’ll try to remember who is who here. Out first is La Parka with the boss of the company, Joaquin. Ok this should be easier: Park has the skulls on his shoulders. That’s easier. Park also has the son of the president with him, Dorian, as the president and his papa are in a power struggle. The fans are behind the heel Park here which is interesting.

 

There’s a chair in the ring which is the signature weapon of both guys. Park dominates to start and grabs the chair for a big shot maybe a minute in. Another chair shot as this Parka (Park for the original, Parka for the new if that helps at all) guy is kind of getting his head kicked in. To the floor now as Park is yelling at Konnan and cuts a quick promo before the third chair shot. Is it the Rock in disguise?

 

Joaquin, the president, gets in his face until Parka saves him. By saves I mean he stands up so Park can get beaten up even more. Park rips at the mask and you can see Parka’s forehead. They’re in the crowd now as this has already had more action than the world title match and we’re not even five minutes into this. Park goes to the back and gets a table. I guess there aren’t table making leprechauns under the ring in Mexico.

 

Parka has not had a single bit of offense that I’ve seen. There’s a fire extinguisher at Parka who is just trying to cover up at this point. Table and chair in the ring now. The fans are totally behind the original Park here and it’s kind of funny since he’s the heel through and through. The table is set up in the corner but Park settles for just beating on Parka a bit more instead.

 

Dorian whispers something to Parka and his dad shoves him away. The referee gets involved and Parka charges to try to tackle Park through the table. Park steps to the side and Parka goes sailing through it. Belt comes off and it’s whipping time. This has literally been one sided the entire ten minutes so far. Park rams Parka’s head into the pieces of the table and the chair.

 

Park busts a piece of the table over Parka’s head to a big reaction. Here comes table #2. Park sets it up in the ring and puts the chair on top of it and goes up. OH MAN IT’S OFFENSE FROM PARKA!!!!!! He gets a few punches in and suplexes/slams Park through the table and onto the chair. The crowd is awake now. Parka is bleeding from the head it seems which makes sense.

 

BIG chair shot from Parka and momentum has completely shifted. Parka rips at Park’s mask as Joaquin is like do it! Parka’s mask is covering maybe half of his face at this point. Into the crowd again goes Park while Parka’s mask looks rather weird. Oh man Parka is busted BAD. Park’s mask is barely staying on too. Back in the ring now and Parka has the belt now so he lays in some HARD shots.

 

A slam gets a pop. Between two guys of relatively average size when do you hear that? Parka goes up but gets crotched by Park. The fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here. Park jumps into the boot of Parka and the new guy has control again. Park goes to the floor again and it’s a too short suicide dive by Parka. The mask is hanging on like a Post-It at this point.

 

Parka celebrates but Park sneaks up on him and hooks in a choke that looks like he’s trying for a Backstabber but keeps Parka on the mat on his knees and pulls back on his chin. Looks great if you didn’t get that. Park starts going for the knees and adds a Backstabber for two. This is that slow counting referee again. Parka fights back and gets what was supposed to be a Codebreaker from the middle rope for two.

 

Big boot by Park gets a close two. Semi-botched DDT by Parka gets two and a ton of booing. They counter each other a bit until something resembling the Eye of the Hurricane gets two for Park. Both guys are gassed bad here. Park charges in the corner but rams the post instead. Park’s mask is more or less gone here. Leg lock by Parka right in front of Dorian.

 

There’s the rope but the referee has to break up the hold. Not often that you see that from a hold put on by a face. Park gets a rollup for two. Park for no apparent reason dives at the referee who was on the floor for no apparent reason. So there’s no referee and Park is more or less dead. Dorian has the chair and Parka gets a clothesline to put Park down again.

 

Parka sets for a tombstone which is illegal in Mexico but Joaquin stops him. An enziguri from Park puts Parka down again. Joaquin has the chair now but Park winds up managing to hit the Tombstone on the chair and Parka is out cold. Another chair in the hands of Park as Joaquin comes in.

 

Dorian says no don’t hit him but Park shoves Dorian down and clocks Joaquin with the chair instead. Dorian gets up and turns face, blasting Park with the chair a bunch of times to avenge his father. Then with both skeleton dudes down, Los Perros Del Mal, a group of invading wrestlers from a promotion of the same name, put Park on top of Parka for the pin to win the name.

 

Rating: B+. This was a WAR. They beat the tar out of each other and it’s only the ending and the exhaustion that is holding this back. It wasn’t a great match from a workrate standpoint or anything but there was a great story out there and the fans were into it. This was supposed to go on next to last with Wagner vs. Electroshock going here instead but this worked far better. Great match and a great way to end the show.

 

Los Perros Del Mal celebrate with a bunch more of them hitting the ring. Parka is taken out on a stretcher and the leader/owner of Los Perros Del Mal say they’re taking over AAA. A bunch of AAA guys and security come out while the fans chant for Los Perros. The leader of Los Perros (Perro Aguayo, Jr.) says wrestling needs a change and that change is Los Perros.

 

Also whether you like it or not, Park is the original and forever the real La Parka. Park says Los Perros will own AAA and Dorian doesn’t know what to do. Park runs down AAA, Dorian and Konnan. Take a guess who would be in a heel superstable in less than a month. If you guessed all three of them, WELL DONE YOU LUNKHEAD!

 

The woman with the urn says the original owner (Antonio Pena. The woman with the urn is apparently his sister and Joaquin is his the woman’s (Marisol) husband. Dorian is Antonio’s nephew/Joaquin’s son) is watching and all that jazz and that AAA will beat Los Perros Del Mal and what not to end the show.

 

In a little followup, later that night the Mexican Boxing and Athletic Commission said that the result of the main event was thrown out due to the interference. The next day AAA had a press conference where Dorian officially turned face (technico) again and said that Park was the official La Parka and that the loser of the main event would have to change his name. This was later dropped.

 

Two weeks after this, the Foreign Legion and Los Perros would merge. There would be a mini group added called La Milicia and then about two months later Los Maniacos, the tag champions, joined and the superstable was called La Sociedad. That feud has gone on since with Mesias fighting Perro Aquayo Jr. and Cibernetico making his own stable to fight Los Perros. Los Perros have a ton of titles now including the world title held by El Zorro. Granted this could be out of date very soon but that’s what Wikipedia is for.

 

Overall Rating: B. I liked this. I liked it quite a bit actually. This is the kind of show I could see myself watching on a regular basis. Now to be fair this is the Wrestlemania of this company but it felt like one of those. There’s a lot I didn’t get because this is my first time watching, but at the end of the day I’d like to see more of this which is exactly the point. Fun stuff, some bad stuff, but overall I liked this and would watch more of it if I had the chance. Good show overall with some bad spots (world title match for example).
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 




On This Day: June 1, 2010 – NXT: This Is The Future

NXT
Date: June 1, 2010
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

We come at last to the grand finale and the last episode of NXT that I haven’t reviewed yet. I’m kind of excited for this as the ending of the first one had me very interested indeed. Anyway, the finalists are Justin Gabriel, Wade Barrett and David Otunga. Otunga is probably the weakest one but maybe I’m wrong. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the entire season which is always cool to see. The first season of this show was actually pretty good. This show is live for once.

Striker points out the previously eliminated rookies who are here tonight. Here are the Pros as we’re filling in a lot of time here. Now we bring out the finalists. There will be two eliminations tonight and up first it’s a triple threat match!

Before that though we need to introduce some rookies for next season! First up is Husky Harris who is a third generation star. His pro is Cody Rhodes. He isn’t Dashing yet. Maybe just jogging lightly at this point.

Monday is Viewer’s Choice Raw.

Another Pro is John Morrison who has Eli Cottonwood who is kind of odd.

Justin Gabriel vs. Wade Barrett vs. David Otunga

 

We’ve got elimination rules here too just to make it awesome. Finally we get going after 9000 announcements. Barrett gets sent to the floor early as Otunga beats on Gabriel. Wade back in now as Gabriel hits the floor. We’re told that in the second season of NXT there will be a 50/50 split between the Pros and the fans which is important. Otunga vs. Gabriel at the moment.

Really bad powerslam puts Gabriel down. Barrett can’t stay in the ring here for too long which is kind of funny. Gabriel puts Otunga down and gets the 450 but Wade pulls him out to get the pin on Otunga instead. We take a break as we’re down to one on one. Back with Gabriel breaking up an armbar on the mat. Off to an abdominal stretch by Barrett. He’s working on the ribs so that the 450 is less of a weapon. Wouldn’t the knee be smarter then?

If nothing else this is a rematch from last week which is kind of good for some reason. Gabriel gets some nice kicks and a cross body for two. Wasteland is countered into a sunset flip for two. Gabriel gets him down and it’s 450 time again. SICK counter as Gabriel lands on the knees of Barrett. That looked incredible. Small package is academic for Barrett.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t bad at all from an in ring perspective, but the idea here was that Barrett looks good. That’s exactly what was supposed to happen here and it worked perfectly well. Fun match and it’s cool to see them all in the ring at once in straight competition. This worked exactly like it was supposed to so I can’t complain.

The Pros are getting ready for the new Poll.

MVP introduces Percy Watson who likes to party. I didn’t like the idea of Watson at first but he had insane charisma and was definitely someone that caught my attention which was very good.

Zach Ryder introduces Titus O’Neil who really wasn’t all that bad I didn’t think.

The rookies are in the ring so it’s time for the first elimination. First though we’re going to hear the predictions of the eliminated rookies. Tarver says himself. Yeah he was a bit out there. Bryan says Otunga can’t wrestle and Gabriel can’t talk so Barrett should win. Sheffield says he doesn’t care. Young says Barrett should win because he’s strong mentally and physically. Slater says Barrett due to what he’s proven tonight.

Time for the poll.

1. Wade Barrett. No shock at all.

2. David Otunga

3. Justin Gabriel

REALLY disagree here as Otunga had nothing but a celebrity wife going for him. Gabriel had a very flashy finisher going for him which was something that would make me want to stop and see what that was. He says he’ll be back like almost everyone else has said. Matt says Justin is like him. Oh dang he’s screwed.

Laycool have Kaval. Let the internet explode.

Mark Henry has Lucky Cannon. Henry is somehow the more talented one. It sounded like Cole gave Lucky a first name which sounded like Jesson or Jason.

One last rookie showdown as both get 60 seconds to tell the other why they should be gone. Otunga says Barrett is ugly. He makes fun of Barrett’s physique so Wade does a mini-pec dance. Basically Otunga says he’s more charismatic which is pretty much true.

Barrett says he’s ugly because he’s a fighter. Barrett says Otunga has the IT factor because there’s nothing else that Otunga has going for him. Wade was definitely more insulting here but made better points I think. The final Pro’s Poll is next.

Kofi Kingston is a Pro and has Michael McGillicutty who was my favorite from last season.

It’s time for the announcement of the winner, but Miz has something to say. He’ll be back as a Pro next week with his rookie Alex Riley. Riley talks about how awesome he is for a bit.

We delay the vote again as the Pros get into an argument. Regal thinks it’s over before the announcement and congratulates Jericho and Barrett. He asks anyone to do something about it so Truth does his stupid dance. Christian says sit down because he hasn’t won a match in a year. Punk leaves. Jericho tries to calm Regal down but says that Barrett is winning because of Jericho, not because of Barrett’s own talents. Regal says he’s always like Jericho’s two moves. This is hilarious stuff so Striker cuts us off.

Naturally Barrett wins as he certainly should have. Otunga says he’s the real star and thinks he’s being Punk’d. Barrett says he told you so which he did. He warns the Pros that this is the beginning of a new era and talks about the Winds of Change. Is Wade Barrett an Obama fan?

Overall Rating: B. This was a good way to close out the season. The match was good and more importantly: the right man won. Barrett dominated the entire season and other than Bryan has been the best since, which granted no one knew going into the show. Anyway, this was a good finale and I remember enjoying it as I watched it live. Good stuff indeed and this set up the following Monday, which was the Nexus.

So that’s the last of NXT. We’re most of the way done with Season 4 as I’m writing this and the first season is still by far and away the best. The talent was there, the intrigue was there, the challenges are far more interesting and the drama worked. Also the poll was a nice touch. Either way, this was good stuff and it worked better than anything else they’ve done yet. Check these shows out as for the most part they’re rather entertaining.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon at:




Night of Champions 2010: Throwing Back A Six Pack

Night of Champions 2010
Date: September 19, 2010
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

Since this PPV is all about champions, take a guess as to what it’s about. That’s right: pancakes. I prefer them with just syrup but some people actually like butter. I’m not a butter fan so I never use it. Ok the show is starting now so I’m out of jokes. I could go for some Aunt Jemima though.

One thing I wonder: what are Paper Jams? Paper related music? A jelly substitute made from trees? Wow syrup and jam already. Hopefully no one lays an egg or we’ll have a decent breakfast.  Let’s get to it.

I apologize for that joke. Even I thought it sucked beyond belief.

IntercontinentalTitle: KofiKingstonvs. DolphZiggler

If Dolph is disqualified or counted out he loses the title. Vickie does her intro but we get to look at Kaitlyn in a good looking dress so I can live with that. The music helps too. We get the two hands behind the head here which I like as a taunt for some reason. They have him in a black bowtie now too which makes my head hurt. Red tights for Kofi tonight which is a good look for him.

Feeling out period to start which is weird since they’ve had so many matches. The ring skirt has all the titles around it which is a cool look. Kaitlyn helps to get Dolph up and is yelled at of course. NICE neckbreaker by Dolph and a chinlock follows it up. The champion has half black and half white boots on which is different for him. He uses a big boot. Well of course he does.

Dolph hits a Fameasser which gets a joke from Striker. King audibly groans at it too which is the sign of a bad one. When JERRY LAWLER thinks your joke sucks, you’ve got a big problem. Lawler: Vickie used to be boy crazy. Boys would have nothing to do with her and it drove her crazy. Vickie is in leather pants which gets a lot of commentary for some reason.

And now Cole and Striker argue about who designed Vickie’s shirt. This is either really boring in ring stuff or really bad commentary. Given who is doing what, I think I’ll bet on the latter. Kofi hits a counter to get us to even again and here’s the comeback. Nice standing dropkick and he hits a Thesz Press. Wow I haven’t seen one of those in YEARS. Boom Drop hits and sets for Trouble in Paradise.

He does the stupid clapping thing where everyone cheers for him. Sleeper is blocked as Dolph uses it for a counter. SOS gets two as Ziggler gets his foot on the ropes. We’re cranking it up again here as I think I know the finish that’s coming. I’ll let you know if I was right or not. We hit the floor and Kofi is dominating. He throws Ziggler back into the ring to break the count which Striker says is smart. Cole of all people points out the reality: it was stupid as he would win the title on a countout.

Sleeper out of NOWHERE (which remember must suck since it’s a transitional move or whatever. I love the IWC’s idiocy at times) and Kofi is in trouble. He gets up quickly which is at least believable. I can’t stand when someone is in a hold for like a minute and then gets out of it. Kofi gets one of his own on but Dolph reverses. Vickie goes to smack Kofi but Dolph screams at her not to. Trouble in Paradise misses and Zig Zag ends this mostly clean which is surprising. I was wrong with what popped into my head but not entirely, but I’ll spare you the details.

Rating: B. This would be standard fare on Smackdown which means it’s very solid. This was another good match between them and hopefully this ends their feud which has run its course I think. Solid here and Ziggler looked strong, dominating for the most part and countering on a mistake to win it. Solid stuff but PLEASE get rid of Vickie as he doesn’t need her anymore.

Miz does an ad for Paper Jams, which is a music thing or something.

Edge says he’ll win. Nothing at all special about this.

CMPunkvs. BigShow

Ok, Punk HAS to win this or his year is more or less a lost one. He’s called the Second City Saint here in his hometown which is a rare thing in this company. He gets the hometown reaction which Lawler is surprised by. That’s ironic as Lawler has made more of a career out of one town than anyone in history. Punk says he loves Chicago but he hates the inhabitants of it. Is he a self-hater I suppose?

He manages to get heel heat here in a smark stronghold. That’s saying a lot. Punk wants to burn the city down and rebuild it into a straightedge utopia. That’s a great line actually. Punk tops that by saying if he’s facing the Giant then he is David and his slingshot is the almighty straightedge. I already live such a lifestyle but I want to join him anyway. Punk with the headband is still weird looking.

Cole calls Show a knucklehead, and wouldn’t you know that’s the title of his upcoming film. Cole says a headbutt from Show is like taking a cinderblock and breaking it over the opponent’s head. WHY DOES HE KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE? Big chop sends Punk to the floor. PUNK USED A FREAKING BIG BOOT. He follows it up with a slingshot senton bomb over the top to the floor in a nice spot.

Punk has him down but one punch slows him down. Middle rope elbow gives Punk the advantage back. They’re pacing this differently which is working well. Punk kicks him in the head which is a nice touch. Striker asks Lawler who the biggest man he’s ever been in the ring with. Of course it’s Andre, and Cole says that no one beat Andre. I REALLY hope he said that as a generalization and not literally because who are they trying to kid otherwise?

Show more or less tackles Punk out of the air and punches him for the pin. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Show hit two moves: the tackle and the punch. That’s it. That was Show’s offense. Punk DOMINATED other than that but Show hits two move to end it. I hate this company some times. How in the world can you validate giving Show that win that way after Punk killed on the mic? It makes Punk’s offense look pathetic but hey who cares? Show is BIG so of course he gets to win. Freaking joke man.

Rating: F. This was idiotic. Yes Punk is my favorite wrestler, but sweet goodness man: someone please explain to me why in the holy mother of goodness THE BIG SHOW deserves to go over him like this or in any way that doesn’t involve Gallows jumping Punk. Punk has been GOLD on the mic lately and yet his only big win recently is over Christian when Alberto interfered. This is so freaking stupid it’s unreal.

Jericho says he’ll win everything. You know the line he throws in there.

We recap Bryan vs. Miz which should be good. I’ve heard great praise for their house show matches and after Monday I’m legitimately unsure who wins here.

USTitle: TheMizvs. DanielBryan

Miz in blue here which works for him in a weird way. Riley is here with Miz of course. We’re told that Shawn trained by HBK which I don’t remember hearing before. Very well may have been though. Somehow we talk about Lou Thesz and Cole says he Googled all of his info. Can we get some talk about breakfast again? It’s far more interesting than this bickering.

Miz with a nice bow and arrow hold as the announcers keep up their whining. We get an explanation for the name LaBelle Lock, which is named after an old wrestler from the 30s. Well that’s better than nothing. Miz works the arm as Striker says he thinks Bryan is attractive. We get a shoulderbreaker and Striker gives a shout out to Double A (Arn Anderson) and says he should be in the Hall of Fame. Say it with me: AMEN!

The champ throws out a big boot as we’ve literally seen it three times tonight. Bryan with a suicide dive through the ropes to take out Miz. He SELLS THE ARM and hits a dropkick off the top for two. They slug it out and the selling continues. Let the boo/yay chanting begin! Running dropkick in the corner which always amazes me when someone hits it for some reason.

Miz kicks out again and Bryan gets a bit frustrated. We head up top and Bryan gets crotched. SWEET clothesline takes down Bryan who lands on his arm for two. All Miz here as he CRANKS on the arm and makes Bryan scream. Ropes are grabbed but Miz has til five. If he yelled that the IWC would have rioted. The Finale (not typing that name out) is countered into a rollup for two.

Riley gets on the apron but Miz punches him by mistake. Rollup by Bryan gets two and I would have bet on that being the ending. Bryan to the floor and Riley rams the post by mistake. Bryan STILL holds the arm. Miz just goes off on Bryan with punches but gets pulled into the LaBelle Lock AND IT’S OVER! Miz cries at ringside in a funny moment.

Rating: B+. This WORKED. I was way into the ending here as Bryan came off as awesome, just like Miz. I can’t wait for the IWC to complain about how Bryan carried Miz here and I can’t wait for it. Miz more than held up his half out there and looked great (just to be clear, Bryan was great here too). This was a very solid match but was held back by Riley interfering. Miz losing this way is perfect and it definitely put Bryan over. Very solid match and I was most impressed.

Hell in a Cell is in TWO WEEKS. Wow that’s dumb.

Cena is still all smiley and happy here and does a math themed promo which makes sense.

WomensTitles: MichelleMcCoolvs. Melina

Michelle in red: DANG. Nice shot of her as the bell rings. Layla is ticked at her for being in there as we hear about the history of the Women’s Title, which is of course mostly nonsense but whatever. Crowd is DEAD. Yes, a Chicago crowd is dead. Michelle sends her to the floor but no one sends her back in. NICE Blockbuster from Orton’s elevated DDT position by Michelle. I love the Blockbuster (jumping front flip neckbreaker) so that was sweet for me.

Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) is blocked and Melina takes over. Decent belly to belly suplex for two by the blonde. Kelly gets up on the apron marking the first time they do anything all night as Melina has her rolled up. Kelly is for Melina here but just doesn’t get it I guess. The girls all beat up Michelle and send her back in. They need to stop slapping the mat as I think it’s a referee count.

Melina does the Matrix Move but Michelle just kicks her. Again: kicking and punching people works best a lot of the time. Both girls hit the floor as the girls yell at Michelle, showing off their acting…..talent. Layla interferes and Michelle gets to hit a, wait for it, wait for it, BIG BOOT TO UNIFY THE BELTS.

Rating: C-. Surprisingly decent match here although the girls were absolutely pointless out there. Layla interfering is fine as it’s expected, but what about the heat between them allegedly? This wasn’t much but at least it gets rid of the stupid Divas Title, or at least I hope so. Better than most Divas matches though so I’ll give it that.

Barrett talks about the Winds of Change. I wonder if he’ll Rock You Like a Hurricane.

We hit probably the longest recap ever as we set up Kane vs. Taker. You know this one by now I’m sure and if not go read my SD reviews for the last 6 weeks or so. We get the full history here over the last 12 years, including the straight up lie that Taker took Kane’s mask away.

SmackdownWorldTitle: Kanevs. Undertaker

Surprisingly Taker comes out first. They slug it out in the aisle to start. I want to see if they can break the streak of awful that their matches have been in the past. Taker shoves him off the stage into a pillar that the set is made of. The no holds barred aspect helps here as these two are designed for a big fight rather than just a regular match. So far they’re following that idea as it’s just a major fight so far.

Taker gets sent into the steps and Kane kicks him in the head. Why must you tease me with more big boots? Kane grabs the belt and hits Taker in the ribs with it which is a shot you don’t see that often. Clothesline off the top doesn’t get a cover as Kane does a really bad looking legdrop. Cole says Kane has dissected Taker. I guess we’re ignoring the first 4 minutes of this match.

Seated running one footed dropkick (just get to the freaking big boot you freaking teases!) hits as Kane is dominating. He takes the cover off the table and just pelts Taker with it. This has been a bit better than I expected and MUCH better than their other stuff. Taker sends him into the steps and has signs of life. Or is it death with him? His character can be a bit confusing at times.

Apron legdrop by Taker and for once the word vintage is ok. We get a mini Taker Dive as he sails over the railing to take down Kane. We head into the crowd as they’ve been in the ring about two minutes out of maybe 10 this has gone. Kane hits kind of a big boot. He hits a jumping punch as we’re back at ringside now. He punches Taker down and Taker is in trouble.

It turns into a boxing match almost with Kane throwing nothing but punches. Taker is getting DOMINATED here and it’s kind of nice to see. As long as he doesn’t make the comeback and win that is. Taker gets one punch in to a BIG old pop. He starts winning but Kane gets a knee. Jumping clothesline puts Kane down though. And now Taker throws punches.

Snake eyes and a big boot get two. We’re 5-5 in big boots tonight. Chokeslam to Kane but Taker can’t cover him. Striker calls him the weigher of souls. Could he be more over the top when talking about the zombie? Kane counters the Tombstone into one of his own and Kane wins clean!

Rating: C+. It wasn’t a great match by any means but this did what it was supposed to do. I don’t think these two can have a great match, but this is what they were supposed to do: Kane went out there and beat Taker up and then pinned him clean. That’s how this was needing to go and Kane gets the clean victory. Pretty sure we’re heading to Hell in a Cell with these two which is the next logical step. Kane needed this though and he got it.

Taker can barely get back to the locker room and almost has to crawl the last bit. I’d love Paul Bearer to come out here.

Randy says he has nothing to say. This takes nearly two minutes.

Legendary is coming to DVD already. That’s AWESOME.

We’re having a tag team turmoil match??? Hokey smoke. Someone made a thread about this and I didn’t think it would happen but here we go. The idea is there are five teams with two random ones starting. They have a match and then the winners advance to face the next team. Last team standing wins. It’s kind of like the weird cousin of the gauntlet match.

TagTeamTurmoil

We open with Hart Dynasty vs. Usos. Yeah because we haven’t seen this enough. Striker mentions playing a game called Six Degrees of the Hart Dungeon, which sounds AWESOME to a wrestling geek like me. DAVID HITS A BIG BOOT IN THE CORNER! Kidd hits a big Asai moonsault to the floor. Kidd gets the Sharpshooter but the other Uso hits a BIG BOOT to end him, guaranteeing new champions.

Kozlov/Santino vs. Usos now. This lasts about a minute as Santino sets for the cobra but Tamina distracts him, allowing a Samoan Drop (shocking right?) to end him.

Bourne/Henry in next. This shows how sad the tag division is. It truly does. Henry comes in and cleans house with the World’s Strongest Slam. Air Bourne ends it.

Final team is Drew/Cody. Ok we HAVE to have the heels win it here for the sake of sanity. Also so we can hear either awesome theme song. Drew is in those sexy white tights too so I’m happy. The heels dominate for awhile as Bourne plays Ricky Morton for awhile. They say Cody was a tag team champion but never say with who. I don’t get why though.

Big gutbuster by Drew as Bourne is in trouble, hence the Morton thing I guess. Drew CRANKS on a chinlock which looks awesome. Bourne gets out of a suplex using the ultimate counter: kicking his feet. Hot tag to Henry and Cody trips coming through the ropes. They go for the Super Shooting Star which takes forever so Cross Roads takes out Bourne (illegal man) for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. These are hard to grade but given who was in this the booking more or less was terrible. No Gatecrashers or Dudebusters or Nexus but Bourne and Henry? Really? The one good thing here is that they beat the champions clean the other night. That’s a major plus for them so there’s no argument that they didn’t beat the champions. Not wild AT ALL on having another randon team thrown together but that’s the nature of the beast in modern tag wrestling I guess. Pretty bad though and definitely the worst of the night so far.

Random Alberto Del Rio promo montage.

Build up video for the elimination match and I think you get the idea of it.

Sheamus says his usual stuff.

RawWorldTitle: Sheamusvs. JohnCenavs. Edgevs. WadeBarrettvs. RandyOrtonvs. ChrisJericho

Pin or submission only for eliminations. MONSTER reaction for Edge. The trenchcoat is back too. Face pop for Jericho but not as big as Edge’s. Barrett is in his second PPV main event less than five months after making the main roster. Not bad. Elimination rules here. Orton is out last and gets a nice reaction but still pales in comparison to Edge. Striker asks Lawler for strategy here. Lawler says avoid elimination, which sounds really simplistic but Lawler follows it up by saying you’re going to have a better chance with three or four opponents than with five so if you can hang on your odds improve. Sometimes the simplest answer is best.

Tornado rules here too which is nice. We get a Hulk reference kind of as Cole lists off champions. Cena and Jericho stare each other down which makes me think Jericho is a jobber by comparison. RKO maybe 90 seconds in ends Jericho. WHAT THE HECK? He makes the big sad exit and everyone, myself included, is shocked. Y2J chant picks up of course as I’d love a face run from him.

Everyone surrounds Barrett and the beatdown is on! Orton and Cena have an eventual staredown but Barrett breaks it up. Striker calls Edge, Sheamus and Barrett rulebreakers. CENA THROWS A DROPKICK! The superpowers fight it out but Barrett saves Cena for some reason. Sheamus kicks Barrett in the face. He dominates for awhile and goes around kicking everyone in sight.

High knees to Cena which I can’t think of a Too Many Lies joke for. Cena blocks the High Cross as everyone else has apparently died. Edge comes back in and stops the top rope Fameasser. Double suplex off the top to take Cena down for two. Edge and Sheamus work together which tells me he eliminates the Irishman.

Orton pops up for like two seconds and Sheamus takes him down almost immediately. Spear misses and the Irish Curse takes Edge down. Brogue Kick misses but Edge gets the spear. Orton takes one too but Edge takes a very nice FU to get rid of him and we have four left. Barrett takes down Cena and stomps the tar out of him.

He and Cena fight it out for awhile until Cena makes his comeback. 5 Knuckle Shuffle but Sheamus accidentally hits Barrett. Cole keeps calling the FU the A.A. now. Sheamus is in the STF FOREVER and has one of the best teases of getting there I’ve ever seen. He manages to do it and you can feel the crowd just stop. Nexus comes out and the distraction allows Barrett to hit Wasteland on Cena and ELIMINATE HIM!

Nexus beats down Orton and since there are no disqualifications this is all gravy baby. Nexus tries to run in again but Cena KILLS one of them with a chair. Orton gets the backbreaker on Barrett and an RKO gets us down to Sheamus vs. Orton. Brogue Kick KILLS Orton but it only gets two and a big old pop. High Cross is countered and the RKO gives Orton his seventh title!

Rating: C+. This was ok. It wasn’t the mess I thought it would be and getting rid of two people relatively early, especially Jericho, made this run a lot more smoothly. It’s an ok match but really nothing worth going out of your way to see. They went with the usual multi-man formula here which I’m not a fan of at all. Barrett pinning Cena clean is a good thing but it’s probably going to lead to a Hell in a Cell match which I don’t think anyone wants to see at this point. Fairly good match, but not a great one at all.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was definitely ok but it’s not a great show. The title changes are usually pretty cool and some of these were, but I can’t really bring myself to care about Orton winning his 7th world title. You get some good stuff like Miz vs. Bryan and Kane vs. Taker, but other than that this show really isn’t anything special. It’s entertaining enough for three hours and if you watch it you won’t be bored, but you certainly won’t be blown away. Not a bad show but not really good either.

 

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On This Day: May 25, 2010 – NXT: To The Final Three

NXT
Date: May 25, 2010
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Michael Cole

 

It’s the next to last episode and we get down to the final three tonight. This should be good as all four are good guys, and yes that includes Slater. Either way this should work for the most part. I’m half asleep at this point so I might be a bit off here. Let’s get to it.

 

We open with recaps of Tarver and Bryan going home, including part of Bryan’s rant. Ah make that we recap all of the eliminations.

 

Striker brings out the Pros to start the show. Punk was shaved at Over the Limit so he’s not here. Truth is the new US Champion. I think Miz had it back by next week if not a bit after that. Now it’s time for the rookies to come out. Next week is the finale and this is the rookies’ chance to tell the fans why they should win.

 

Barrett says Gabriel isn’t a man, Otunga is like Benny Hill and the Ginger Ninja should leave because of his hair. Gabriel says Otunga should go because he’s bad in the ring. Otunga says Gabriel who is a glorified gymnast that can’t talk. Slater says Barrett because his nose is crooked. Nice knowing you Heath. Striker says it’s time to express yourselves physically so here we go.

 

Heath Slater/Christian vs. R-Truth/David Otunga

 

Slater vs. Truth to start us off here. Slater uses speed to start and it’s off to Otunga. I keep expecting to hear 12 Stones start us when they’re in there now. Christian vs. Otunga now. Pro vs. Pro now as Truth kicks Christian’s head off. Truth won the title as Bret Hart vacated the title due to being named GM. Chinlock by Otunga to Christian now.

 

Jumping back elbow takes Otunga down and it’s off to Slater again. Running dropkick to Otunga who was sitting in the corner. Neckbreaker gets two. Slater goes up and comes off with a cross body but Otunga rolls through for a rather abrupt ending. Not like they haad anything going but it was abrupt.

 

Rating: D+. Pretty weak match here as neither rookie had anything going at all here. Slater was a guy I liked back in this season but he slowed down a lot towards the end. Anyway this was pretty weak and was just to get the guys in the ring. The problem is the better two rookies were in the other match. Pretty weak but not horrible.

 

Daniel Bryan is up next.

 

Back with Cole in the ring with security. We see a clip of the rant/beatdown last week.Cole says either he apologizes or Cole will sue him. Bryan says he’ll apologize and there’s no need for the security. The security leaves and Bryan shakes his hand. Bryan goes off on him and they get into a shouting match with Bryan saying he’s awesome and Cole says stop blaming anyone but himself. Cole actually gets some very solid points in here. He says Bryan has no heart and Bryan lunges into security. Bryan gets at Cole eventually though and it’s on all over again. Miz gets on Bryan as he leaves and there’s another brawl!

 

Back and Striker takes over for Cole on commentary.

 

Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel

 

This should be good. Barrett is the dominant best at this point so this shouldn’t be much of a problem for him. Jericho yells at the announcers about Barrett. Jericho: “ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT BARRETT?” Josh: “Yes!” Jericho: “WELL DO IT MORE!” Big boot takes Gabriel down. Gabriel speeds things up and takes him down with kicks and a Roaring Elbow. Springboard cross body gets two. A Sunset Bomb out of the corner sets up the 450 for the totally clean pin. I’m rather surprised by that actually, which is sad as I’ve seen it before.

 

Rating: C+. Not terrible here but it didn’t have much time to get going. Gabriel getting a win there is a good thing as it gives him momentum going into the final week of the show. Barrett losing is rather surprising also but either way this was fun. Good little match but nothing great given the very limited time they had.

 

American Bang who does the theme song for NXT, is here.

 

Raw ReBound wastes some time.

 

It’s Pro’s Poll time.

 

1. Barrett

2. David Otunga

 

Down to the future tag champions and to the shock of no one, Slater is gone. Was there ever any doubt really? Christian says the deck was stacked against him but he has a big future. Miz says Slater never gave us everything he had. Truth says Slater did nothing wrong. Jericho would rather talk about Barrett. There’s no difference to who got eliminated tonight because Barrett is winning anyway. Barrett can’t be losing like this again though. That’s something a coach would say. Slater talks about his accomplishments and mainly beating Jericho clean. The Encore is coming though. Not a bad go away speech.

 

Overall Rating: C. Not bad here but this was really just a setup to get to the final show of the season with the clear three best. Not a bad show but there was little point to it. We knew Slater was last so they at least got that right. Decent show but now it’s time for the final, which is what we’re getting to next. Not bad, but kind of a throwaway show.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 




ECW on SyFy – Febraury 16, 2010: Now Let It Stay Dead

ECW on SciFi
Date: February 16, 2010
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Byron Saxton

Well as you can tell this is the final edition of the modern ECW show. There are a total of two matches on the show: a tag title match and Big Zeke, a muscleheaded no talent hack that would never have gotten more of a second look in ECW and Christian who would have been ok there. Take a guess as to how this is going to end. NXT would debut the next week so let’s get to it.

We get to meet the NXT rookies and pros tonight.

Tag Titles: The Miz/Big Show vs. Goldust/Yoshi Tatsu

Miz has three belts at the moment, all of which would cause him to become my #1 draft pick in the fantasy league. Doesn’t this make you riveted to the screen? I mean it’s clear that two guys like Dust and Tatsu have a great chance to win the belts here. Goldust and the smaller champion start us off. Yoshi is fast but Goldust comes in and gets drilled by Show as we take a break.

Tatsu comes in and kicks a lot which gets him nowhere. Show busts out a headlock takeover of all things. Well that’s not something you expected. Yoshi has an eternal flame of pride. This just isn’t that interesting as there’s just a total lack of drama and it’s hurting things here. Goldie comes in and cleans the kitchen (not enough to be the whole house) but gets punched and the Skull Crushing Finale ends this.

Rating: D+. It looked like they were trying but come on: Tatsu and Goldust? Is that really the best they could do? They couldn’t bring Dreamer out of mothballs for this? It just didn’t do anything for me and while it was ok, no one cares about Goldust as a serious contender at this point and Tatsu hadn’t done a thing. It just fell flat and that’s never good.

The first pairing we see is Jericho/Barrett. Barrett is obsessed with money apparently. Where did that aspect of his character go?

Next up is Hardy/Gabriel. Gabriel is a cross between Johnny Damon and Adam Lambert.

Tiffany, the GM still and not a member of Blonterouge or whatever the name is now, addresses the ECW audience and is interrupted by Ryder and Rosa. He wants into the title match and says there’s nothing Tiffany can do about it.

MVP and Skip Sheffield are a team. No not really.

We do the final Abraham Washington Show and I have a feeling this isn’t going to be funny. He thinks they’re in St. Louis to get cheap heel heat. He talks about how he’ll be a free agent soon so people get to pay for him. He says he has the biggest name in wrestling for his final guest and of course it’s himself. Cue Shelton for no apparent reason.

Shelton really was bad on the mic. This is painful. He reminds Abe that everyone is a free agent now and gets interrupted by Vance Archer who had been feuding with Shelton for awhile. The Dudebusters come out and say they’re the most important thing on the show. Kozlov comes out and yells. Dang Vince really wanted to kick the original ECW to death didn’t he?

There’s the big brawl and Washington is mad because they’re messing up his furniture when he’s a single payment away from getting his security deposit back. Kozlov and Shelton shake hands and leave for no apparent reason.

Another pairing is Carlito and Michael Tarver.

The I think fifth pair is Daniel Bryan and Miz. And cue the IWC exploding over it.

We talk about the Elimination Chamber since that’s on Sunday.

Christian and Slater are announced.

Christian comes out and says it’s been a year since he came back. ECW isn’t a demotion to him but rather home. He talks about how he got to be the star on ECW and he’s loved every bit of it. Tonight is for the ECW Originals and for ECW. Oh come on now you know he’s losing. There’s an ECW chant for you. He’ll be proud to be the final ECW Champion. This came off well and made ECW sound very respectable and like a good thing.

Punk and Young, who apparently has incredible strength, will be a team.

ECW Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Christian

This is under Extreme Rules and Christian brought a shopping cart of weapons. Christian gets him to the floor and here’s Ryder to be a jerk. He gets beaten up like a little nitwit and Tiffany bounces down to the ring to take down Rosa. Back from a break and it’s all Big Zeke. Christian hits the Pendulum Kick into a trash can lid into Zeke.

Regal and Zeke set up a table but get it knocked into their faces. Some WEAK kendo stick shots give the advantage back to the Canadian. This was far better on the first viewing. Regal interferes and breaks up the Killswitch and Jackson slams Christian through a table to completely kill the history of ECW forever. Until TNA redoes it soon and kills its corpse.

Rating: C-. It’s ok but the ending was again fairly clear. You knew Vince was going to go with the big title change to end things and that it would be fairly stupid. The match was ok at best but with three interferences for Jackson it became watered down and overbooked. Glad to see they kept with the original ECW vision on that one.

We close the show and the brand with R-Truth being Otunga’s pro and the big musclehead holding the ECW Title. I’d love to see Heyman’s reaction to that.

Overall Rating: D. This was just bad. It’s really more of a commercial for NXT than anything else. Christian’s speech was nice but this was about ending ECW once and for all which was just done to let Vince have a good feeling about it at the end of the day. I wish this had been the end of ECW but of course TNA wants to get a few more dollars out of it while they can so here we go all over again. ECW dies once again with nothing to show for it. Yeah I’m stunned too.

 

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Thought of the Day: My Favorite CM Punk Moment

It’s not one you would expect.Back at Over the Limit 2010, Punk was fighting Rey Mysterio and got cut open.  As usual, the match was stopped for a doctor to look at it.  The crowd starts to chant BORING, and Punk goes nuts.  In just a few seconds he hits about five moves on Mysterio, all faster than you’ll ever see Punk move anywhere else.  Punk took offense to the crowd thinking his match was boring because it had to be stopped and he wasn’t going to accept that because it meant he wasn’t doing his job.  That’s something so few people take pride in anymore.  How many people have you seen in a match with a five minute run time and they just throw on a chinlock for a minute of the match?  It’s a cheap way to get through a match and not fair to the people that paid to see you have an entertaining match.