Impact Wrestling
Date: December 22, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re back with week #2 of the wild card tournament but at least now we know who almost all of the wacky partners are. The show last week was pretty ok so hopefully they crank it up a bit more this week as the year comes to a close. We’ve got I think three more Impacts before the PPV where it’s pretty likely that Jeff gets the title back. Oh and the Jarretts are gone at the moment. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps last week which is the norm now.

Here are Roode and Ray to open the show. Roode is in a suit and to be fair, he’s rocking that thing. He says he loves Christmas and the fans can all thank him for the gifts they got last week. Sting and Hardy getting beaten up was great and all they needed were bows on them. Ray talks about how giving he is: he gives chicken bones to the homeless, he gives dollars to strippers and he gives whiskey to his cat.

Roode talks about learning that every action has a consequence. Lately he’s learned that he’s probably on the naughty lists of both Sting and Santa. He asks Sting to come out here and get his suspension over with because he needs time off for Christmas. Instead he gets Hardy. Don’t worry about the suspension because in three weeks, Hardy is taking the title. Tonight it’s the two of them against Hardy and a partner of his choice. This would be a little more suspenseful if they hadn’t mentioned this in the preview before the show. Of course it’s Sting. Here he is and he has the insane face paint on again.

The main event tag is officially a street fight.

Wildcard Tag Tournament First Round: AJ Styles/Kazarian vs. Rob Van Dam/Christopher Daniels

And remember, the teams are RANDOM! I mean, no one would take rivals and put them against stable mates. That would be STUPID! Tenay says Fourtune is officially defunct. Kaz vs. Van Dam to start us off. They hit the mat quickly and it’s off to AJ. Daniels wants him but Van Dam says he’s mine.

After some basic stuff it’s back to Kaz who seems to have better chemistry with RVD. Monkey flip by Rob sets up a headlock by Kaz. Back to AJ and Van Dam goes to the corner. He rams into Daniels and that counts as a tag. Daniels comes in and misses AJ, allowing the tag to Kaz. Van Dam slaps Daniels into the Fade To Black for the pin at 5:18.

Rating: D+. Basic but fine here and that’s all it needed to be. Thankfully they didn’t push Van Dam and Daniels as a team that lucks its way into the second round. Either way, this was ok but it wasn’t anything special. That goes for a lot of first round tournament matches most of the time though so there isn’t much to complain about there.

Anthony Nese says he’s awesome and can hang with anyone.

Zema Ion says he’s pretty.

Zema Ion vs. Anthony Nese

This is the second match in the best of three series with Ion up 1-0. Ion has hairspray so you know he’s a heel. The winner of this is in a four way against Aries, Kash and Sorensen. Ion dives through the ropes to take Nese out with a dropkick before the bell. Back in Nese snaps off a rana for two. Cross body gets the same. Ion gets in a shot but Nese fights back and hits a Lionsault for two.

The American hits a German on the Filipino for two. Nese misses a springboard body block for two and Ion takes over again. Nese jumps from the mat to the top for a super rana for two. Ion hits a spinning facebuster but pulls Nese up like he did last week. Naturally it allows Nese to nip up into a rollup for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: C+. Not bad but the problem is the lack of any reason to care about these guys or the match they had. Nese is a generic face and Ion is a generic heel. The match was fine and they did some good stuff, but I’ve seen a match like this a thousand times and I’ve seen it better a few hundred times. That’s the problem with these cruiserweight matches: it’s REALLY hard to top them and when they’re average, they look weak.

Madison Rayne is in a referee dress and says Karen put her in charge of the Knockouts.

Pope says he’s there for people when they need him. What D-Von didn’t get is that Pope is a better trainer than he is so let him train. He’ll always be pimping too. D-Von vs. Pope at Genesis again. D-Von comes in and grabs him but one of his kids hits him in the back. Pope calls them his boys.

Eric Young and D-Von are on a date because they’re in the wild card tournament together. One of their opponents is Shannon Moore and Eric locks up with a referee.

Here’s Madison and she calls out Tara and Tessmacher. She shouts a lot and the fans chant what sounds like USA. Madison repeats that she’s the head of the Knockouts which surprises Mike and Taz, even though she said it earlier. Her job is to destroy the Knockouts and she’s starting with the two of them. Their closeness makes her sick so they’re fighting each other tonight and she’s the referee.

Brooke Tessmacher vs. Tara

And it’s a comedy match. They do the slowest wristlock this side of Delirious and Tara shouts ouchie. They trade some very weak covers and this is kind of amusing. The limited wrestling turns into talking and even the Impact Zone is silent. They finally get into a fight and Madison won’t count due to reasons of waving. Madison shouts at them to hit someone so they hit her. And then the Tebow it. Ok then. It ran about 6 minutes but there wasn’t exactly an ending point.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t exactly a wrestling match. I’m not sure what it was but the girls were hot so I’ll let it go.

Sting and Hardy say they’ll win.

Eric looks for a gift to give ODB and looks through the kitchen of the restaurant.

Here’s Storm to FINALLY give us something interesting. He says that Angle is looking for him but Storm will either be in the bar or in the ring. Angle gave him a beating but Storm won in the end. He makes football references and drops Tebow’s name. Angle pops up on the screen and is in Storm’s hometown. He insults a woman and that’s about it.

Ray says he and Roode will win.

Wildcard Tag Tournament First Round: Eric Young/ODB vs. Anarquia/Shannon Moore

Young vs. Anarquia to start us up and Eric dances a lot. Young locks up with the Mexican America chicks outside and then disrobes. Anarquia comes in and slams Eric. It’s off to ODB and Moore bails. ODB kind of slams him and Eric hits a top rope elbow. A low blow by ODB gets the pin at 4:36.

Rating: F. What. Ever. Man. I’m so over Eric and his unfunny comedy but TNA insists we need to see it time after time on every show.

Matt Morgan and Crimson recap the tag tournament. They don’t take it seriously it seems.

Angle beats up people in Tennessee. He pulls out a freaking cap gun and hits someone in the head with it. He superkicks a lot of them after standing them up in a line. Angle even throws the Christmas tree at someone. He challenges Storm for Genesis.

Bully Ray/Bobby Roode vs. Sting/Jeff Hardy

This is a street fight and they have a ton of time. I wonder if Sting vs. Ray is going to happen at Genesis. Probably not. Those two head to the floor and Roode takes over in the ring on Hardy. They go split screen for a bit but the painted guys clear the ring. STEREO DIVES take the heels out. Sting diving like that was pretty awesome. That takes us to a break.

Back with more violence and the bad guys in trouble. Ray hits Hardy with a kendo stick to the back and does the same to Sting. We get the dreaded cookie sheet and Ray takes over on Sting. Sting fights back and hits a superplex to take Ray down. He’s showing off tonight. Roode comes in to beat down the guy with the full facepaint (Sting) but Sting comes back again. He loads up the splash but Ray hits him with part of a wooden sign to break it up.

Ray drops an elbow for two. Hardy hasn’t been focused on in this match very much. Ray and Roode set for something but Sting ducks so Ray clotheslines Roode. Death Drop to Ray but Sting walks into a spinebuster. Hardy comes in and takes out Roode but Ray kicks his head off. Ray gets the table but Sting moves it before Hardy can go through it. He cleans house and hooks the Scorpion on Ray (who taps but it doesn’t count) and puts Roode down with a Death Drop. Another table is set up and Hardy splashes Roode through it for the pin at 18:20.

Rating: B. This knew that it was supposed to be an over the top and fun brawl and that’s what it was. There wasn’t really anything all that significant going on here but it did the job in giving Hardy the pin over Roode. Also it gave Sting a chance to look awesome as he’s limited in the ring anymore and that’s fine. Fun match and a good way to close the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I don’t want to say this show was bad, because it really wasn’t. It was however pretty meh. It came off a lot like Raw on Monday as a throwaway show, and for the most part I’m ok with that. However, stuff like the Knockouts and Eric Young got really old really fast. The main event was fun and there was kind of an energy to the show that helped it, but not one of their better episodes. Still though, it’s a holiday kind of show so taking things less seriously might be a good idea.

Results
Kazarian/AJ Styles b. Rob Van Dam/Christopher Daniels – Fade To Black to Daniels
Anthony Nese b. Zema Ion – Rollup
Tara vs. Brooke Tessmacher went to a no contest
Eric Young/ODB b. Anarquia/Shannon Moore – Low blow to Anarquia
Jeff Hardy/Sting b. Robert Roode/Bully Ray – Splash through a table to Roode

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As in something you didn’t see coming.I have to go with Zack Ryder’s rise.  I mean….HE’S ZACK RYDER.  Who would have predicted that he would be US Champion as a huge face at the end of the year?  I’ll go with this as my main argument for him: the end of Survivor Series, as in after the PPV went off the air, saw Rock standing in the middle of the ring in Madison Square Garden.  The fans chanted We Want Ryder.  Let that sink in for awhile.

Thoughts/Picks?

NXT
Date: December 20, 2011
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Matt Striker

We’re at the next to last show of the year on this season and it’s becoming pretty clear this is going to go on to the beginning of the WWE Network. Therefore, there’s almost no point to paying attention to this show. However, if I was going with that philosophy I would have been out of here months ago. Let’s get to it.

This 4pm thing is ridiculous. It’s 6:40 and I’ve been checking on things every 20 minutes or so and it’s just now up.

Here’s Bateman to open things up. During Bateman’s entrance we recap the Percy Watson show from last week. He says he’s here to win and win back the Courtney to his Kurt and the Bonnie to his Clyde (aren’t both of those men dead?). Striker says they have to work together and be partners here. Curtis shows us a still of him kissing Maxine and then offers a handshake.

Usos vs. Derrick Bateman/Johnny Curtis

The Siva Tao makes me want to invade a small country. Bateman starts and the brothers take turns beating on him. Once he finally gets a bit of a break though, Curtis tags himself in. It doesn’t go very well for him either though as the Samoans hammer away. Curtis gets a hard clothesline for two and the fans aren’t really interested. He goes over to tag in Bateman but Derrick walks away. It doesn’t take long for the Superfly Splash from Jimmy to get the pin at 3:37.

Rating: D. The match was pretty much nothing but that was the point. The Usos are light years better than everyone and that’s been obvious for months, so I’m getting tired of seeing them wasted in stuff like this. Curtis is about as uninteresting as anyone I’ve seen in years, but it’s just NXT so it’s not so bad.

Trent Barretta asks Yoshi to watch his back against Hawkins tonight since Reks will be out there. Yoshi says sure but after Trent leaves, Yoshi gets jumped by Hawkins/Reks and locked in a utility closet.

Curt Hawkins vs. Trent Barretta

Striker goes on a rant against Hawkins and Reks for making fun of legends on their Youtube show. If he doesn’t like them, why does he keep booking them on NXT if he has matchmaking abilities? Hawkins takes over to start and hits a slam for two. Hawkins keeps beating on him and heads to the floor to yell at Striker who yells right back. Trent fights back and the fans are SILENT. A running knee gets two for Trent. He goes up but has to kick Reks down, allowing Hawkins to finish Trent with a move that starts as a reverse neckbreaker, but he spins forward to slam Trent’s face into the mat for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: D+. I like Barretta but he couldn’t overcome the boredom of the crowd here. Nothing special at all but I guess it sets up drama between Yoshi and Trent which is the latest place they’re going here that has nothing to do with NXT but they have to fill in an hour either way. Also, who comes up with these dull finishers? All these face slam moves are getting old.

Kaitlyn vs. Maxine

Maxine’s outfits really aren’t PG. Kaitlyn dominates to start and shows off her range of offense, going big with a legdrop. Maxine fights back and chokes away. This is the usual boring stuff from the Divas. Maxine hits her in the chest and hooks a standing guillotine choke. Kaitlyn fires off some but Maxine keeps beating her down. Cue Bateman who says he’s been looking everywhere for Maxine. The distraction lets Kaitlyn roll her up at 3:03.

Rating: D. Other than the chest strike thing, this was rather dull. Somehow this was WAY better than the Raw and Smackdown Divas who are just awful at this point. It’s amazing what happens when they’re down in FCW with trainers and get to actually practice a bit isn’t it? This was nothing special though.

Bateman begs forgiveness and sings the Righteous Brothers’ You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling but gets blasted by Curtis. Maxine walks out on both of them.

Percy Watson vs. Tyson Kidd

Good to see Kidd back on the show though. Percy starts off with his power game and he hammers Tyson into the corner. The referee tells him to get out of there and Percy actually says yes sir. Very nice to see some manners. Just because you’re in combat and trying to get a full time job, there’s no excuse for rudeness. Kidd takes over and uses his feet to take over. Off to a dragon sleeper which Percy escapes pretty easily. He fires off some dropkicks and adds a belly to belly for two. They go to the corner and Percy gets guillotined on the top rope. That and a springboard elbow drop are enough for Tyson to pin him at 4:03.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad and it’s nice to see Tyson back on screen. He would have been the prime candidate for an NXT Title if they’d ever just get to one. Either way, this was fine for power vs. speed and that’s all it needed to be. Watson is kind of floundering and I think a heel turn might be in the cards for him.

Same video on the Tribute to the Troops from Monday.

Bateman and Curtis almost get into a fight in Striker’s office so he makes a match between them for next week.

Titus O’Neil vs. JTG

Darren Young is on commentary and his arm is in a sling. Titus uses the power game to start (common theme tonight) as Young says that he’s better than anyone on Raw or Smackdown. Titus throws JTG to the floor and barks. He gets crotched on the ring skirt though and JTG takes over. To the chinlock! Titus powers out of it and hammers away, hitting a powerslam for two. Clash of the Titus ends this at 3:55.

Rating: D. Not much here but it wasn’t too bad. It wasn’t particularly good hence the grade, but the point of this was to have Titus look dominant before the post match shenanigans with Young happened. JTG just doesn’t work as a heel because of his size and that he’s more annoying than menacing.

Post match Darren stares Titus down as JTG trips Titus up. Darren rips off his sling as his arm is fine. The post match beatdown ensues.

Overall Rating: D+. You know, this show has potential. They got it back to being like an old school territorial show and I can live with that. If there was a title on this show and you keep in mind that the stakes are as low as you can have while still having stakes, you can enjoy this show. Not a terrible show and if they can keep this style, I could see this show becoming almost ok.

Results
Usos b. Derrick Bateman/Johnny Curtis – Superfly Splash to Curtis
Curt Hawkins b. Trent Barretta – Neckbreaker into a face slam
Kaitlyn b. Maxine – Rollup
Tyson Kidd b. Percy Watson – Springboard Elbow Drop
Titus O’Neil b. JTG – Clash of the Titus

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By that I mean PPV.  There are too many Impacts to name.I’ll go with Victory Road I guess.  The show wasn’t any good before whatever Hardy vs. Sting was and that caps it as well as anything could.  For WWE, I guess I’ll go with Capital Punishment, but I didn’t really think about it all that hard.

Your picks/thoughts?

*Insert eye rolling Kurt joke here.*It’s pretty much a layup, but I’ll go with the Summer of Punk.  This got people paying attention and people were wondering what was real and what wasn’t, which is a very entertaining way to go with an angle.  I loved this and it worked incredibly well.  On top of that the matches were awesome, which is always a bonus.

Your thoughts/picks?

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 19, 2011
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re into that limbo period between TLC and the Rumble. There are six Raws before the PPV and based on that, there are usually multiple shows where not much happens. I’d expect the next two to be that way, especially with Christmas coming up. These are usually throwaway shows and that’s ok, especially given how much they had happen last night. Let’s get to it.

Let’s Burn it to the Ground.

We open with the lights off and almost everything dark. Punk starts talking and says that we’re live in the entertainment capital of….this state, and here are the results of TLC. Since Johnny Ace is the least creative middle man in the history of management, here’s the result of TLC. First of all, who won the TLC main event? The three options are shown and Punk says it was him, the best wrestler in the world.

Here’s Punk who looks very happy. He talks about being banged up and sore but he’s the champion. This is a title that a lot of people never thought he would win. That brings him to the next match from last night: the US Title match. He does the who won thing again and brings out Ryder, who is WAY over in Philadelphia. Think about that. He’s insanely over in Philadelphia, just like he was in MSG.

Now let’s talk about the big one. There was a chairs match, but the man that walked out with the title wasn’t one of the people originally in it. The World Heavyweight Champion, is Daniel Bryan. They all stand in the ring with their new titles and it’s quite a visual. Punk talks about how if any city would appreciate this, it’s Philadelphia. The fans chant ECW and Punk mentions how awesome it is that two guys like Bryan and Punk who met ten years ago down the street would be here in this ring as world champions.

Punk says this isn’t about him but rather about those two. They’ve broken their backs for wrestling and the people have brought them to this level. Let’s hear from the new champions. Ryder says he called his dad this morning and asked if he really was champion. His dad’s response: “WOO WOO WOO! You know it!” Bryan says there are people like Cole that says he didn’t belong here, but now he’s the World Heavyweight Champion.

Bryan gets cut off because Miz, Ziggler and Del Rio all come out and head to the ring. The champions hold them off until Ryder hits a flip dive onto Ziggler. He goes into the barricade so the world champs go after Miz and Del Rio. Ace cuts them off and the champs go check on Ryder who is holding his shoulder. Ace makes a six man tag for the main event. No stipulations are announced.

Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

Orton won a tables match last night. They slug it out to start and head to the floor pretty quickly. Barrett takes over and rams Orton into the post and drapes him over the barricade as we take a break. Back with Barrett kicking Orton in the face to send him outside. Orton is looking less orange tonight. He starts his comeback and hits the powerslam. Elevated DDT is countered as is the Wasteland. Backbreaker sets up the DDT but Barrett pokes him in the eye afterwards….for a DQ at 8:00? Seriously? A THUMB TO THE EYE GETS A DQ NOW???

Rating: D+. They were kind of going through the motions until the ending here which is ok because I like Barrett’s in ring style, but the rest of the match was pretty boring. The ending was rather stupid but it continues the feud and lets us have another match here, which Barrett could win and move on to a match with Bryan at the Rumble.

Post match Barrett beats Orton up with the Bossman Slam (now called Winds of Change) and a Wasteland through a table.

We recap HHH vs. Nash last night. Nash is going to be out for six weeks, which will put him right in line for the Rumble right?

Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox

Non-title here I think. Alicia is trending worldwide, reverse DDT, flipping legdrop, Alicia pins her 100% clean in 48 seconds.

Alicia wishes everyone a foxy holiday.

Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal

Why is this match still happening? Mahal hasn’t had a chance against him yet and we’re seeing this again? He takes over to start and hits some strikes to the head, be they either a knee or a dropkick. Sheamus wakes up and hits the Irish Curse and Celtic Cross for the pin at 1:57. Did anyone expect anything else?

Here’s Cena to address what happened last week. Naturally he’s loathed here in Philly. He says that what he’s about to say is shocking. If you have a medical condition, you need to cover your ears. He thinks there are some people that don’t like him. Some of them aren’t here (like Rock, who he’ll be ready for in April) but one of them is a monster on the loose who has issues with Christmas and the dentist.

Cena hopes that he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. If that’s the case, things move on and he won’t be going after Kane. If that’s not the case, they have some business and let’s settle it right now. Instead cue Henry who is badly limping. He says that if it wasn’t for Kane, Cena would be the new member of the Hall of Pain. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate. He says he’s not in the mood for jokes after losing the title last night. Henry is here to address why he lost and he’d recommend that Cena leaves now.

Now cue Kane’s pyro but the lights go out. There’s organ music and here he comes, complete with the welder’s mask. Henry has bailed and Kane circles the ring to look at him. Then he turns to look at Cena. Kane takes the mask off and has the red one on as he gets in the ring. Cena immediately hammers him down and clotheslines him over the ropes.

Kane lands on his feet and pulls Cena to the floor. He puts Cena on the table and puts his hand over Cena’s face and smothers him. I think Cena bit his lip because it looks like he’s bleeding from the mouth. Kane rips the shirt off Cena (it was cut at the top earlier) and leaves with it. Cena looks terrified.

Primo/Epico vs. Usos

We get the Siva Tao and Rosa dancing. My night is complete. Primo starts with let’s say Jey. The heels take over and I’d really rather just look at Rosa in those tiny shorts. Air Boom is watching in the back as Epico beats up Jey. Hot tag to Jimmy who hits a Bubba Bomb and the running Umaga (NOT RIKISHI) shot in the corner. And then the Backstabber ends him at 2:56. Too short to rate but it was pretty much the same thing from Smackdown.

Cody says the Rumble ad wasn’t as ridiculous as Booker thinking he could win the title. Santino pops up with a gift for him but Cody doesn’t want it. The Cobra pops out of it, as in the one on Santino’s arm.

Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes

Non-title again. Santino does some martial arts stuff and gets punched in the face. Santino gets in a few shots but shouting COBRA seems to be a bad idea as he walks into an Alabama Slam for the pin at 1:28.

Here’s Nickelback’s performance from Tribute to the Troops.

The Bellas hit on Ace and get in an argument over who is a floozy. They rant about Teddy and Ace says the board is watching him. He wishes them a Merry Christmas and they kiss him on the cheek then leave. Vickie barges in and demands a rematch for Ziggler. Horny pops in with mistletoe and kisses her, prompting lots of screaming.

We get an interview off WWE.com with Ryder and his dad after the show. That win really was a cool moment.

Big Show says he had it last night and it lasted 45 seconds. It took him 9 years to get there and he’s speechless. It’s his fault though because he encouraged Bryan to cash in a few weeks ago. Show looks like he wants to kill someone but is smiling most of the time. Josh eggs him on and says that Show is going to probably have the record for shortest world title reign in history and he’ll probably hold that forever. Show looks down at him and for some reason I’m cracking up at it. He shakes his head, says he’s ok, and walks away.

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder/Daniel Bryan/CM Punk

During Alberto’s entrance, the Second Coming video happens again. The word this time is prophetless. Is that even a word? Ryder comes in through the crowd. You can tell the Philly fans like him as they don’t mug him. Bryan does the same, as does Punk. How much nicer it is just to change ANYTHING a little bit. It can really make a huge difference. Punk vs. Miz gets us going. Bryan got by far the weakest reaction of all three faces if you’re curious.

Ziggler comes in and takes the surfboard knee stomp. Off to Ziggler who gets a Woo chant. Del Rio misses a charge and all three heels are outside. Bryan teases a suicide dive so that Ryder can hit his flip dive. Bryan takes out Ziggler with a knee from the apron and Punk dives off the top. The champs rule the ring (Punk takes a bow) as we take a break. Back with Bryan kicking Miz but getting caught in a DDT for two.

The heels beat on Bryan for awhile as we hit the main event formula for a tag match. Del Rio works on the arm and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Bryan gets his knees up and it’s hot tag to Ryder. The Broski Boot puts Ziggler down for two but he gets caught in a Miz chinlock. He backdrops Del Rio to the floor and it’s double tag to Miz and Punk. Macho Elbow of course gets an eruption in an old WWF town like Philly. Anaconda Vice goes on but Dolph makes the save. Another double tag brings in Del Rio and Miz and it breaks down quickly. GTS to Miz and Cole is losing it. The LeBell Lock ends Del Rio at 13:12.

Rating: C. This was a main event tag and this was fine. The whole point of this was to have some fun and let the new champions get their win on their first night with their titles. That’s perfectly fine and this wasn’t supposed to be anything big and epic. There’s nothing wrong with that and the match worked fine for what it was.

Big celebration ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t the point here. This was one of those throwaway shows I was talking about in the intro. It wasn’t bad or anything, but this was just a placeholder until we get to the new year and start the Rumble build. They did this for the last few years and that’s fine. The triple champion focus was a nice touch and it’s very refreshing to see them just mix things up a little bit. Fun show, although not very good from a quality standpoint.

Results
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Barrett poked Orton in the eye
Alicia Fox b. Beth Phoenix – Flipping legdrop
Sheamus b. Jinder Mahal – Celtic Cross
Epico/Primo b. Usos – Backstabber to Jey
Cody Rhodes b. Santino Marella – Alabama Slam
CM Punk/Daniel Bryan/Zack Ryder b. The Miz/Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio – LeBell Lock to Del Rio

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Title reigns have been longer lately, so maybe there are better options here.I’m going to take Miz as WWE Champion.  In short, he beat John Cena in the main event of Wrestlemania.

That

Does

Not

Happen.

Literally, that’s the first time he’s ever lost in the main event of Mania.  He lost in a triple threat at Mania 24 but Miz beat Cena in a one on one match at Mania.  That’s the only time it’s ever happened and it’s hard to top that.  Also, it was the longest reign with that title in like 3 years.  Not bad at all.

Your thoughts/picks?

Tables Ladders and Chairs 2011
Date: December 18, 2011
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is the final PPV of the year for 2011 and I’m really not all that thrilled by it. The main event isn’t really clear, as there are a few matches that could go on last. It could be either of the world title matches or the ladder match with HHH vs. Nash. Surprisingly enough, there’s no Cena match on here to speak of. Also, hopefully, Ryder finally gets his US Title tonight. Let’s get to it.

Basic video, talking about choosing your weapon.

Vickie introduces Dolph.

US Title: Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler

Battle of the Z’s here. Ziggler has on blue trunks and they’re really not working for him. Ryder controls early on and is pretty fired up here. The champ gets control quickly though, hitting a DDT onto the apron. Ziggler drops a bunch (as in like ten) elbows on Ryder but they only get two. Off to a chinlock and the fans chant “Let’s go Ryder, Woo Woo Woo”. Ziggler uses Ryder’s body to brace himself for situps.

And now let’s start talking about Twitter. Ryder fights back but gets caught in an Angle Slam for two. Ryder comes back and hits a missile dropkick from the middle rope for two. Here’s his comeback and the Broski Boot hits. Vickie puts Ziggler’s foot on the ropes and gets ejected for it. They trade rollups and Ziggler tries two Fameassers, one of which hits. Dropkick gets two for Dolph. He goes up and gets crotched, allowing Ryder to bust out a top rope rana for two. I love how his arms fly up in the air on every cover.

Rough Ryder is countered into a hot shot into the post for two. The fans are still cheering for Ryder as they were earlier. Out of nowhere, Ryder hits the Rough Ryder and WINS THE TITLE at 10:25. The camera immediately cuts to Ryder’s dad in the crowd which is a really nice touch. They treated this like a really big moment, which it was.

Rating: B-. Why it didn’t happen in MSG is beyond me but whatever. This is the definition of a guy working as hard as he could have, the fans responding to it, and the company PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT THE PEOPLE WANTED. I can’t emphasize that enough: the WWE listened to what the fans were telling them and pushed him accordingly. Pretty decent match too.

Booker is getting ready in the back when Cody jumps him and beats him down. Booker says he’s ok and looks all ticked off.

Tag Titles: Air Boom vs. Epico/Primo

Epico vs. Bourne gets us started. They trade near falls for a little while and it’s off to Kofi. All champions so far. More near falls for the champions and the heels finally start double teaming Bourne. Rosa keeps shouting in Spanish because that’s what evil Hispanics do. Epico busts out some rolling belly to backs for two. How has this match been going five minutes already?

You would think a match with Kofi Kingston as the biggest guy would go a little faster. Gory Stretch by Epico is countered into a sunset flip for two. Hot tag finally brings in Kofi who hits every Puerto Rican in blue in sight. Boom Drop to Primo sets up Trouble in Paradise but he settles for a springboard crossbody instead. Everything breaks down and Bourne dives to the floor to take out Epico. Trouble in Paradise hits in the ring and they keep the titles at 7:32.

Rating: C-. This was fine and I can’t really complain about bonus wrestling. They had to flesh out the card somehow and I figured this might be the pick. Also it’s good to get the titles on PPV again, even in a match like this. Air Boom will probably drop them soon, but I hope it’s to someone better than the Colons Paso Dos.

Josh has no update on Booker but Cody was very happy a few seconds ago, so the match may be off. That’s not official though.

Teddy Long is in the back as Santa and Horny is his depressed elf. He finally points out that he’s an adult and asks why there’s a black Santa. Teddy: “In my neighborhood, no fat jolly white man would ever come down my chimney.” Teddy gives Horny a gift: Rosetta Stone Ebonics. Horny kicks Santa in the shin.

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

This is a tables match. Orton takes over quickly and goes for a table, but Barrett kicks it into his face with a thud. Orton is like “I have 4 nicknames” and goes after Barrett as Lawler makes Roman nose jokes. A table is set up outside and they fight up the aisle where there are like 8 tables set up. Barrett sets for the pumphandle through one of them but Orton escapes. Barrett THINKS and knocks the table near him away.

Back at ringside and Orton goes into the post and then takes a boot. Barrett is busted a bit. Wade takes forever messing with tables, setting one up on the floor and sliding one into the ring. Orton moves off the table to avoid a dive so Barrett pounds on him some more. In the ring a middle rope elbow hits Orton and Barrett takes him to the apron. He hits a big boot to try to knock Randy through the table on the floor but Orton hooks the rope.

Barrett sets one up in the corner but Orton starts his comeback. Powerslam puts Wade down and there’s a counter to the elevated DDT. Barrett tries a running big boot but gets caught in the ropes. He tries Wasteland on the apron but Orton elbows out of it. Now the elevated DDT hits in the ring. Barrett reverses a throw into the corner table and hits the Bossman Slam to take over. He beats on Orton a bit more and puts him on the table. Wade goes to the second turnbuckle on the inside but jumps into an RKO through the table to end this at 10:16.

Rating: C. These matches are hard to grade because they’re regular matches without covers until the end. I think everyone probably knew this was going to be Orton winning, but the good thing is that it keeps Barrett hot because he doesn’t get pinned. Also he can still get a win next month or on Smackdown so this is probably far from done. Not great, but nothing too bad.

The Bellas sit on Teddy’s lap and debate who the good or bad sister is. Teddy gives them his number for a gift. Swagger comes in after they leave and wants to know what Teddy is going to do after Henry hit him with a chair on Friday. Teddy isn’t going to do anything about it and asks Jack to sit on his lap. Sheamus comes in and I think I know where this is going. The Great White (seriously, what is up with that name?) has some Irish humor for Swagger and yep, Teddy makes the match.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

I have no idea if this match was announced or not. This is about the Slammys or something like that. Kelly takes over to start and I kind of wonder why she isn’t Alicia, as in the girl that’s been pushed lately. There’s the screaming headscissors but she gets caught in a gorilla press. Beth works on the back and tries a bunch of covers for two. She goes up and misses a guillotine legdrop. K2 is countered and they botch the backflip. Glam Slam into the rollup is countered so Beth wins with something like an electric chair at 5:14.

Rating: D. I don’t get why this division exists. The girls aren’t that good, not many people care about them, and the only thing about Kelly that matters is she looks good in tiny gold shorts. Ok she looks good in any color shorts. The matches sucked as usual and I don’t think anyone is surprised at that. Just go back to the swimsuit contests already.

Del Rio yells at Ricardo for not having the car or the food ready. Miz comes up and says the alliance is over after this show. Del Rio says it wasn’t really an alliance in the first place. They argue over legacies and Del Rio calls him a stupid little boy. Ricardo comes up with something for Del Rio to eat and it winds up in his face.

Ad for the Rumble, which features Santino as a psychic.

Booker comes out for the IC Title match and Cody jumps him again. His head hit the barricade as Cody jumped him. Booker is ticked.

We recap HHH vs. Nash. This is about Nash getting a pop at the Rumble (11 months ago) but HHH wouldn’t bring him back in. Nash did it himself and then beat up HHH.

HHH vs. Kevin Nash

This is the sledgehammer ladder match. They pound on each other to start with the power moves and head to the floor. HHH gets a ladder but gets kicked into it. Nash sets one up on the floor but HHH dives off the announce table with a clothesline to take over. Nash into the crowd now but he gets an elbow up to a charging Game. Snake Eyes onto the barricade puts HHH down and there’s a one man Vinnie Vegas chant.

They head into the ring and HHH takes over, using the ladder onto the knees. Now some of the weakest ladder shots ever onto said knee. HHH wraps the ladder around Nash’s legs and hooks a Figure Four in it. It’s better than the one around the post at least. Nash manages to whip HHH into the ladder and out to the floor in a solid bump. Side slam onto the ladder and HHH is in trouble.

Nash puts the ladder onto the bottom rope and does the slingshot into it instead of the rope. And then the crowd goes silent for a bit. Out to the floor and Nash sets for the Jackknife through the table, but HHH backdrops him onto said table instead. HHH makes the first climb up the ladder, 13 minutes into the match. He just gets a hand on it as Nash makes the save. Remember that you have to get a pin after getting it down.

There’s a chokeslam of all things and Nash goes to the floor again. He sets up a table in the ring and there goes the strap. HHH kind of spears him into the ladder and knocks him to the floor. The Game goes up but Nash is back and they slug it out on the ladder. HHH knocks the hammer into Nash’s head and Nash actually goes off the ladder through the table. I didn’t think he had it in him.

HHH gets the hammer down and Nash is on his feet a minute after falling that far. HHH destroys Nash with the hammer but Nash is back to his knees in a minute. The first Pedigree attempt doesn’t work and the second doesn’t actually involve Nash’s face touching the mat. We’re still not done yet though as Nash is on his knees again less than a mintue later. HHH gets the hammer and Nash flashes the Kliq sign. A hammer shot ends this at 18:12.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t that bad, but at the end of the day is Kevin Nash vs. HHH getting 18 minutes and we’re less than two weeks from the year 2012. Also the completely absurd lack of selling at the end of this really hurt things. Nash is painfully slow but I think everyone knew that was coming. Not as bad as it was expected to be, but I still don’t see why this needed to happen.

Nash goes out on a stretcher.

Punk says the beating on Monday was painful but it wasn’t as painful as Ace taking his Slammy. Ace pops up and says he mailed the Slammy to him. They trade some verbal jabs and that’s about it.

Jack Swagger vs. Sheamus

Sheamus hammers him down to start as we hear about his career as an IT guy. All Sheamus so far. Vickie yells at him so Jack can ram him into the post and then the barricade. Vader Bomb gets two in the ring. Sheamus fires back but can’t get much going. Swagger goes after the leg a bit and hooks the ankle lock. When that doesn’t work, the Brogue Kick ends this at 5:55.

Rating: D+. It’s just a first hour TV main event but it’s bonus PPV wrestling so it’s hard to complain here. They needed something to flesh out this card and it’s good to put Sheamus out there and get him some camera time. He’s probably next in line for Henry so you can’t really complain here. Pretty dull match but nothing unwatchable.

Show says he’ll win.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Mark Henry

It’s a chairs match, meaning they’re legal. Show’s singlet is now camo. Show immediately goes to the floor and throws in like ten chairs. Him just casually tossing them about ten feet in the air is scary impressive. They both have chairs now but Henry drops his and gets out. He grabs the title and says this isn’t happening. Show goes after him and ducks a title shot so he can wear Henry out with chair shots.

They start slugging it out and Henry cracks him with a chair. Henry goes after the hand so that Show can’t use his two finishers. Show tries to come back but his hand is worthless. Henry makes a pile of chairs but the Slam is broken up. He goes for a chair shot but Show fires off the big punch. AND IT GETS THE PIN AT 5:35????? REALLY?????

Rating: C. Call me crazy but I liked it. There’s something cool about two guys just going off on each other with chair shots. This worked pretty well for what it was and keeping it short was the right idea. The important thing is coming though so I’m cutting this short.

Post match Henry hits him with a DDT on the chairs AND HERE’S BRYAN!!! HE WINS THE TITLE!!!!! Cole is STUNNED. Bryan Danielson and CM Punk are currently the world champions in WWE and might be at Wrestlemania. Let that sink in for a bit.

Booker says he’s going to try to compete tonight and he looks MAD.

Intercontinental Title: Booker T vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody hammers him down to start but Booker hits a side kick and sends Cody to the floor. As they head back in, Cody gets in a shot to put Booker down. Pretty boring stuff here as they know the fans are all catching their breath at once. A double clothesline puts them both down and they slug it out a bit. Cody winds up holding onto the bottom rope and we get a Spinarooni. It makes him dizzy and the scissors kick misses. Side kick misses and the Beautiful Disaster gets two. Another one ends this at 7:15.

Rating: D+. Like I said not much here, but this was all about filling in time before the main event. They would have been better suited having Sheamus vs. Swagger here, but the match wasn’t bad or anything. Cody wins as he should have and he gets a little more validation with a win over a big name. If that’s it for Booker, there’s not much to complain about here.

They actually recap the show up to this point.

Raw World Title: Miz vs. CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

TLC match. The heels jump Punk to start but Punk fights them off. Lawler thinks there are pins in this but Cole actually saves him, saying that Lawler is confused because this match has never happened before. He wasn’t rude about it either. Punk gets double teamed and they slowly go to the floor since they don’t trust each other. Miz goes after Ricardo so Del Rio hits him with a chair.

Punk dives out onto Del Rio to take over and it’s him vs. Miz in the ring. Punk tries the bulldog onto the chair but Miz counters into a belly to back onto the unfolded chair. Miz goes for a ladder but Del Rio stops him, sending him into the ladder. Everyone goes to the floor now and Miz swings a chair but hits the post. Punk wears him out with that chair and Del Rio is down from a chair shot as well.

Punk puts Miz on the railing and hits the running knee, using a chair as a springboard. He sets the ladder up in the ring but Ricardo runs in and handcuffs Punk to the ladder. That’s a new one. Del Rio hammers him down but the shots break the cuffs and Punk is free. Miz gets what appears to be a huge ladder and beats Punk down with it. He gets a hand on the belt but Punk saves.

They go to the corner and Del Rio hits the running enziguri to knock Punk to the floor and through a table. Del Rio throws a miniladder at Miz in the aisle and does the cross armbreaker with the ladder deal to Miz. He goes back to Punk and does the same but with a chair. He goes up but both guys make the save and crotch him on the top rope. Ricardo goes up and Punk knocks him off the top through a table on the floor.

Miz manages to cuff Punk to the ropes and the champ panics. Miz of course taunts him instead of going up and Punk fires off a kick to the head. Del Rio has a ladder up and Punk tries to kick the ring apart. Miz has a bigger ladder as Punk continues his straightedge tool work. Eventually he gets free and Punk destroys them all. Miz makes the save and I really thought that was it. GTS to Miz and that’s enough for Punk to retain at 18:25.

Rating: B. This was about what you would expect from a triple threat TLC match. It wasn’t anything classic but it was entertaining enough and that’s the whole point of it. The handcuffs didn’t really play into things that well but they were trying something new out there and I’ll give them points for that. Not a classic or anything but I’ve certainly seen worse.

Overall Rating: B. This was certainly a good show but it had some weak parts. The HHH vs. Nash match is a lot more acceptable if it ENDS the feud and I mean forever. A lot happened here and I think their idea was to throw so much stuff at us so fast that we couldn’t really tell if it was good or not. Overall it was good, but I didn’t have as much fun with it as others probably did. Still fun though and a nice surprise, but it’ll tank in buyrates and all of the booking will be blamed.

Results
Zack Ryder b. Dolph Ziggler – Rough Ryder
Air Boom b. Primo/Epico – Trouble in Paradise to Primo
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett – Orton put Barrett through a table
Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly – Electric Chair
HHH b. Kevin Nash – Pedigree
Big Show b. Mark Henry – WMD
Daniel Bryan b. Big Show – Pin after a DDT onto a pile of chairs
Cody Rhodes b. Booker T – Beautiful Disaster
CM Punk b. The Miz and Alberto Del Rio – Punk pulled down the title

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It’s certainly not Immortal.

Pretty much this goes to Beer Money by default.  They were dominant all year and held the tag titles for like six months.  I don’t count their world title reigns because they weren’t as a team but you get the idea.  Is there anyone else that can compete here?

Your picks/thoughts?

It’s the end of the year and I’m really not looking forward to this.I’ve made no secret out of the fact that I think this show looks weak.  I thought it might be fun to compare last year’s card to this year’s.

IC Title: last year we had Ziggler vs. Swagger vs. Kofi in a three way ladder match which was rather entertaining and had a creative ending.  This year, it’s Cody defending against an announcer in a non-ladder match.  Advantage: 2010.

US Title: last year it was defended in a dark match.  This year it should be Ryder finally getting the title he’s chased for four months.  Advantage: 2011.

Divas: last year it was a tag team tables match, this year they’re not on the card.  Advantage: push.  Seriously, the Divas not being on the card is a GOOD thing in 2011.

Featured ladder match: last year it was Sheamus vs. Morrison in what I thought was the best match of the night.  This year it’s HHH vs. Nash in a match that SUCKED in 2003 and now it’s 8 years later.  Advantage: you do the math.

Featured tables match: last year it was Miz vs. Orton for the title.  This year it’s Orton vs. Barrett in a pretty well built grudge match.  Advantage: 2011.  That match last year sucked.

TLC Match: last year it was a fatal fourway with Kane defending against Edge, Del Rio and Mysterio in what I thoguht was a good match.  This year it’s a triple threat with practically no heat.  Advantage: 2010.

Featured chairs match: last year it was Cena vs. Barrett and a definitive ending to the Cena vs. Nexus feud.  This year it’s Show vs. Henry for the Smackdown Title.  Advantage: 2010, but not in a total runaway as Show vs. Henry has been a decent feud.

John Cena: last year, in the main event.  This year, not on the card.  Game, set and match – 2010.

I just don’t care about this show.  It hasn’t been built up that well at all and I’m not sure what the main event actually is.  You would assume the TLC match due to it being the namesake, but that wasn’t the case last year.  I REALLY don’t want HHH vs. Nash going on last due to black hole levels of suck.  The Raw Title could go last but I’m not interested in that match at all.  Show vs. Henry just isn’t a PPV ending match.  In short, there isn’t a big time match this year and that’s really hurting the show.

As for predictions, I’ll take Punk, Henry, HHH (but I have a hunch on Nash), Cody and Ryder.

Your thoughts/predictions?